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#jeno x reader
jerri-bae · 2 days ago
GENRE: Somnophilllia, Dom-Sub dynamics, Slight bondage, SMUTTT
SUMMARY: Jeno was sulking when he found out that his girlfriend forgot about their anniversary. He decided to take things in his own hands and teach his Noona a lesson.
NOTE:  Hi! Here we go again with another plot. Hope you like it. And of course feedback will be highly appreciated!
You forced your eyes to stay open. It was a really tough day. Your body felt more overworked than ever. All you wanted to do now was get in your bed and have a good long nap. 
You opened the door to your house and walked in. The room was pitch dark except for the corner of the room. You weren't expecting anyone to be home right now. 
The bright white light of the screen in front of your boyfriend illuminated his face. He looked like a happy puppy whose owner finally returned home. He dropped his console and walked towards you. 
"Jeno?" You looked at him in confusion. He never called, telling you that he'll drop by.
He stood in front of you smiling cutely.
"Welcome home Noona." He said, coming closer to you.
"My baby boy."
You smiled back at him, extending your arms to hug him. He wrapped his arms around your waist resting his chin on your shoulder.
"Have you eaten yet?" You asked him, caressing his back as he hugged you more tightly.
"No, I was waiting for you." He said, inhaling your smell. He pulled away from the hug to look back at you again. 
It was already 10: 30 and he still hadn't eaten yet. A sting of guilt hit your heart for making him wait for you for so long. For your excuse he came in without telling you on your work day which was something unusual of him.
You were genuinely happy to see him here more than anything but your body was too tired to listen to anything. It just needed sleep.
You walked in dropping your bag on the bar countertop.
"Order something for yourself. My card is in my bag." You said to him, as you tied your hairs up.
"What about you Noona?" He asked, pouting at you.
"I'll have whatever you order." You replied, rubbing his cheek gently before walking inside to your bedroom. 
"Okay." You felt like you heard a bit of disappointment in his voice. But you were in no way in a state to be wary of anyone.
The moment you set your foot inside your bedroom you felt like you cannot hold it in any longer. You plop yourself in the bed thinking you might take a little nap before the food arrives.
You hear someone softly whispering into your ears.
Noona. You hear him again. At this moment you weren't even sure if it was a dream or someone is calling you in real life. 
"Noona the food is here." Jeno said softly, bending in his knees to level your face. 
"I don't wanna eat." You whined in your sleep.
"Noona." He called you again.
"Jeno eat by yourself. I'm really tired." You said to him half awakendly, not realizing what you just said to him. 
"I just wanted to tell you to change your clothes before sleeping." He muttered, hardly audible to anyone apart from him.
He picked you up from the corner of the bed and shifted you in the middle.
"Your dress will get all crinkly if you sleep in them." He was grumbling in his own little world.
He decided to help you so that you could sleep more comfortably without the tight clothes that you were wearing. He slowly unbuttoned your blouse trying hard not to wake you up or scare you. After unbuttoning the upper 3 buttons of your blouse he noticed  your black lace bra peeking underneath it. He tried to look away but you looked far too enticing to be just looked away. His ears turned red as he tried to block all the thoughts that came gushing inside of his brain as he saw you in the bra that he chose for you last week. He took the blouse carefully off you. As he unzipped your skirt he noticed you were wearing the matching set. The black embroidered sides of the lacie thong peeked out from the sides of your waist making him whimper silently. He tried straying his mind away thinking about anything but you but ended up failing miserably. He folded them neatly and placed them near the lampshade.
You looked like a Goddess. So ethereal that he couldn't even take his eyes off you. He laid down beside you watching you sleep peacefully thinking what he would do in a world without you. You were glowing, like some stardust lighting up his whole world.
You turned to your side sleepily, letting him admire your beautiful curves. He gulped dryly as his fingers delicately swept across your sleeping face. The flush in his face was clear as day. He felt his body getting hotter.
"Noona, do you even know what you do to me?" He moaned silently as he touched your plump juicy looking lips. 
He suddenly remembered why he got sulky before. He waited so long for this day to come but you didn't even have a hint of what day it was today. He was sad and a little disappointed in you but he decided not to tell you so that you won't feel guilty about it. But now seeing you sleep so peacefully alone leaving him out, he hated it, he hated the fact that you left him out making him feel lonely. He mellowly tugged your lower lips as he made up his mind to make it up for himself. 
"It's your fault Noona." He whispered, pecking your lips softly before pushing you to your back gently. 
Your body felt hotter. You felt something  warm and soft touching you, making you squirm in your sleep. The hot sticky licks and fiery breath, it all felt familiar.
Maybe I am just having a good dream, you thought.
But then all of sudden you sensed something hard grazing your clit making you moan out loud. You opened your eyes groggily, still trying to figure out whether it's still a dream or the reality. You tried to move but you felt like you were restrained by something. 
"Am I still dreaming?" You thought. Just then you felt a throbbing sensation between your legs snapping you up out of your confusion. A breathy moan came out of your mouth. You inhaled deeply taking in all the air you could in panic only to meet a pair of puppy looking eyes staring at you from down there between your thighs.
"Noona, are you up?" He asked, smiling ever so innocently. His lips traced your inner thighs with wet kisses making you more sensitive. 
"Baby." You bit your lips trying to hold yourself from moaning out loud. You have to stop him, you're way too tired to do this tonight.
It was at that moment you realised your hands were tied to the headboard above your head by the same rope that you bought the other day thinking about trying it on Jeno.
"Jeno not today." You said to him, trying to unwound yourself from the rope. 
"Noona, you do know what today is?" Jeno asked you, pouting his lips hard. He clearly looked upset. 
But you didn't have the patience to listen to what he was talking about. You tried to close your legs but his veiny arms were already doing their job to stop you from doing it. 
"Noona." He looked at you, his face turning mischievous. His long fingers slid themselves between your legs underneath your thong pinching your clit harshly resulting you arch your back in arousal. The moans that you were trying to suppress came out all together.
"Jeno." You moaned his name out.
"It is our ten month anniversary but you forgot about it. Do you know how sad I was? Hmm." He mumbled loud enough for you to hear. He sounded like a little kid who was angry with his parents for not buying him a toy in the store. 
You found his sulking cute. Even though you regret failing to remember your anniversary you were amused how much he cared about it. 
"Jeno untie me and let's talk. Noona is really sorry for forgetting." You said to him, being the one tied down is quite unsettling and you didn't wish to continue doing it anymore, you just wanted to get rid of the rope around your wrist.
"No, you told me to eat by myself. That's what I am going to do." His lips almost looked like they almost turned into a duck's lips by the amount he was pouting in front of you.
"I am sorry baby, let's eat toge...
Before you could complete you felt Jeno giving you soft licks through your thong to your now throbbing centre. Even his hot breath hitting you through the lace is turning you on so bad. You swayed your hips trying to get away from his tongue.
His big thick arms grabbed both of your thighs making you stay still as he buried his face inside of you. His fingers pushed away the thong that was covering the rest of you from his eyes, you could hear him giggle as continued his kitten licking. His soft gentle touch which is now directly touching made you whimper so bad. His licking session turned into a hot eating out session making you a hot mess squirming with pleasure. 
'Mhmm just how I like it." Jeno said, finally looking up at you. His mouth was glistening with your arousal. He let his tongue out just to show you how badly you were dripping just by him eating you out. He looked so messed up but he still managed to look so sexy. The urge to have him under you looking like this made you more horny.
"Baby untie me or you're gonna regret this later. " You said to him in your dom voice which he always used to obey. 
"It's you Noona who has been bad." He replied to you in his complaining voice before looking down to go back to what he left uncompleted.
You were surprised how bold he was tonight. He pushed his tongue inside of you making your walls clenched tightly around his tongue, earning a loud and desperate moan from you.
"Your moans are so pretty Noona." He remarked after he pulled out his tongue drinking in all of your wetness. He drove you so high just to leave you hanging moments before you could cum. You wiggled hopelessly lifting your hips up just to meet his lips again. He noticed what you were trying to do. He smiled slightly, giving you a soft peck down there before looking back at you again.
You noticed his jeans getting tighter, he must've been struggling too. You couldn't miss his dick twitching hard trying to free himself. He is just as needy as you are right now. 
"Just fuck me already Jeno." You panted, wanting to cum so bad.
"Shush Noona, you still need to be punished." He hushed you, smiling at you so sinlessly as if he wasn't eating you out for the past 20 minutes.
"You make me feel so hot." He said breathlessly. He pulled himself out of his T-shirt. It was always a sight to see, his bare body. He is always serious about working and sure it did pay him off. His chiseled body glistened with his own sweat making him look like a sweet dessert that you want to devour all by yourself. 
You took the opportunity as his arms let go of your thighs for a moment. You pushed him away by your leg making him fall backwards. You then pressed your foot on his fully constricted hard on.
"Ahhhh Noonaa..." He moaned, closing his eyes. He didn't show a sign of defiance, that's how he always used to behave apart from tonight. Even you don't know what got inside of him. 
"You have been a really bad boy tonight Jeno." You said to him, rubbing him through his jeans. The friction created by the cloth of his jeans made it even harder. He moaned out loud without restraining himself. He knew you loved hearing him moan.
"Will you punish me Noona?" He asked, his eyes all teary.
"Untie me first, I'll decide how you should be punished then." You replied, pulling away from him.
"Noona. What about you forgetting our anniversary? You should be punished too."  He said looking so innocently that a normal person can never make out what he meant by saying it.
He slowly crept on top of you, holding his weight on his elbow so as not to crush you under him. He started grinding himself against you, moaning out sweet whispers in your ears.
He breathed harshly.
"I am almos....almost there Noonaaaa...." He was rutting on you like a little pup on his heat for the first time.
Hearing him moan in your ears turned you on to a different level. You couldn't stop yourself from taking advantage of his rutting to get yourself off. You bit your lips till they were about to bleed to stop yourself from moaning out loud.
"Aaaaaaah Noona aaahh...." He breathed out in relief. You felt the warm pool forming inside of his jeans.
"I came Noona." He said, breathing heavily. He convulsed for a while before collapsing on top of you, leaving you hanging once again.
"Jeno-yaaa... just do it." You almost begged him, asking him to let you finish too.
"Noona." He mumbled, kissing your neck passionately. 
"Noona." He whispered again. You kept silent. All the sleep had already left you but you still didn't have the energy to make him listen to you, so you just chose to ignore him.
"Talk to me Noona or else I won't let you cum for the whole night. " He said, looking up. He brought your face close to him. You stared at him. 'What made him so gutsy today?' You wondered. You sighed from inside thinking maybe you should let him do what he wants tonight.
"Touch me." You said to him, struggling hard to keep yourself from grinding back on him.
"Touch you where Noona?" He asked, smiling from his eyes.
"Everywhere." You moaned, closing your  eyes as his hand travelled down to one of your breasts. He cupped it with his palm giving it a hard squeeze.
"Mhmmmm..." You let out a muffled moan, arching you back so hard. 
"Call my name Noona." 
He pushed your boob out of your bra and started sucking on the already hardened nipple. His eyes never left yours. He kept looking at you enjoying every inch of pleasure that your face exhibited, as if he was feeding on them, as if his life depended on it. 
"Noona, you made me hard again." He complained looking at your face, making it look like it was your fault. But you had other issues to worry about. 
"Jeno please." You said, finally giving up.
"Anything for you Noona." He replied, smiling brightly. His eyes lit up as he kissed your lips. He pushed your tongue inside marking his territory within your mouth. The strings of your saliva intermixed together as both of you continue to salvage each other with equal amounts of hunger. His lips never left yours, nor even for a moment.
His fingers slid down, inside of your thong softly rubbing your pussy.
Your face clearly showed the pleasure you were feeling. 
"Noona you're so wet." He said, his lips  brushing yours with each word he spoke. His eyes were open on you, enjoying the visage in front of him. 
His middle finger slipped inside of you suddenly, making you choke on your own spit.
"Breath baby." He smiled continuing with his pace but a little faster this time. He added on another finger just to see you flinch again. 
His thick hot fingers knew exactly where to hit.  He knew all of it, every inch of your vagina. He knew the places that make you squirm and the places that make you cum.
He just smiled innocently seeing you whimper uncontrollably under him. Even he was amused to see you like this but he knew he loved it and that he didn't want to go back knowing he couldn't see this again. 
"Yes baby....just like that." You said swallowing air as you were coming near.
"It's here right? Your g-spot?" He asked, knowing too well that he was right. He hit the spot mercilessly until you screamed his name as you came.
He took out his finger drenched with your cum and licked them off his finger. You were still recovering from the hard orgasm that you just had breathing unevenly.
Did you like it, Noona?" He asked.
"Mm.." You didn't even have any energy to reply to him. It was already your limit.
"Noona?" You heard him call you but your eyes felt heavy.
"Let me clean you up." He says.
Before you could reply to him your body dozed off to sleep.
You woke up feeling the sunlight on your face.
Jeno must've opened the blinds, you thought.
You felt much better than last night. The sleep must've recuperated you. You still remember what had happened yesterday night, you still need to punish Jeno for acting on his own like a brat. You looked at yourself, you were only wearing Jeno's t-shirt from last night. You felt clean, fresh with no hint of stickiness or sweat or cum on you. Maybe he took care of you and your clothes last night. The tie marks from the rope were still there on your wrist. You have to be a little harsh on him this time so that he won't act out like this again.
You walked out of your bedroom to look for the culprit behind your wrists. 
There he was. You held your breath as you saw him from behind. You were stunned by how breathtaking he looked even from behind.
Jeno was in the kitchen with his back on you. He was only wearing his boxers underneath the apron.
A soft moan left your mouth as you tiptoed towards him.
P.S - Hiii! So did you like it? Want some more of it? Please let me know :)
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ireneissance · 2 days ago
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ [11:31 pm]; you belong with me; Taylor Swift
Random spurt of courage? Check
Hope? A dangerous amount of it
Back-up plan? What’s that?
You pace about the terrace, occasional pausing to feel the paper of the handmade card that peeked out of your coat’s pocket. It had been a last-minute ordeal, the making rushed, and certainly not the best way to ask someone like Lee Jeno out for prom. Though, for that matter, you don’t think anything could do your best friend justice.
“You better have a good reason for calling me up this late.”
You stumble in surprise, but recover quickly, shooting Jeno a sheepish grin, “Hi.”
He frowns, “You’re disrupting my beauty sleep you know?”
You chuckle lightly, a small attempt from your side to ease your nerves. What was that breathing technique you read about in wikihow again? “Just give me a min.”
He leans against the metal railings, shaking away the strands of coffee-coloured hair falling on his forehead, no doubt silently wondering where this was going.
“I’ll wait.”
Waiting. Funnily enough, that’s all he has been doing. Waiting for you to notice the brilliant red colouring his cheeks when you slipped your hand into his to make sure you don’t lose each other in a crowd. Waiting for you to wonder why he paid more attention to the book of Newtonian physics he held when the direction of conversation swerved towards your romantic interests. Waiting for you to see what it meant when he turned down every single promposal he’d got.
Now that you knew it all, you’d be damned if you make him wait any longer.
You don’t waste another minute in pulling out the card and handing it to him, the very scene which you had pictured in your head one too many a time now playing out.
“Jen.” You clear your throat “Jeno do you want to come with me for prom?”
Silence. Lips parting and eyes widening in surprise, he accepts the card from you with hesitance, “Me?” he splutters, “I thought you wanted to ask-
-you think too much.” You cut him quietly, before pocketing your hands and staring intently at Jeno’s sneakers, unsure of what to say next.
Jeno doesn’t reply, eyes crinkling as he goes through your words, words which you would’ve cringed at had it been anytime else or anyone else. Words strung together in a letter into which you had poured all of your heart.
You direct your gaze at the entrance of the terrace, the cheap light bulb casting a mellow shade of yellow on the staircase below. Was this was a mistake? Would you be able to hold yourself together and walk out if he says no?  
You turn to look at Jeno, only to find him looking back at you, expression indiscernible but soft.
“I’m coming- only if you let me take you out on a date first.”
The stars suddenly seem to shine brighter and the night air more warm. And just like that, it’s done. You smile, moving closer to wrap your arms around him and pull him into bear-hug. “Deal.”
Jeno tugs you closer, “Also, at least one of us has to do the thinking you know?”
“Shh, don’t to ruin the moment.”
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doublethecrown · 2 days ago
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oh my darling
06. like damn that girl is scary
previous / next / masterlist
author’s note: I am back from the grave! sorry everyone college has been a pain in my ass but my semester should end soon so hopefully I should have more time to update! I’ve decided to temporarily put unplanned romance on hold until I finished oh my darling because I think I bit off more than I could chew by tackling both at once 😳 oopsie but it will still be finished! anyways enjoy this chapter another one will hopefully come in the next week or so ❤️ and thank you for 500 notes ahh that’s half 1,000 sheesh !! thankful for all your love, patience and support it really does mean the world 💜
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ljxlj48 · 2 days ago
My duty, as princess
chapter 01
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Lee Jeno x fem reader 
Preview, 01
Genre: arranged marriage au!
Warnings: none for this chapter 
Word Count: 8K+ (not all the chapters are this long, I’m pretty sure this is the longest one)
Authors Note: I finished planning it all out and this is gonna be 10 chapters long, instead of the original 5. so I’m sorry guys 
The trip to the north, was a 10 hour flight and another hour long car ride, from the royal airstrip, to the palace.  The princess arrived to Northcy’s Norhall Palace after a total of 12 hours worth of travel in the middle of the night. The only people there to greet her, was the queen herself and four maids. 
“My dear, you must be exhausted, please hurry inside,” the queen said, she was a stunning and slim woman. She wore a rich navy blue jumpsuit, with a white long sleeved coat that hemmed at her ankles. At the top of her head, there was a stunning silver crown, a sign of her being the queen.  Although, anyone could tell she was queen by the way she carried herself. She held her head high, and stood upright with proper posture. The queen and the four maids led you to your chambers in the palace walls. “You may wash up and when you’re done, Princess, one of the handmaids will inform me, that way I can personally see to it, you have a meal before you rest” the queen told you. 
“Thank you, your majesty, '' you said as you bowed to the queen. Your two maids helped you undress and bathe, as the four of the queen's maids made you some tea and prepared your clothing for the evening. The two guards stood outside the chambers doors, technically, you were still in enemy territory until the marriage. 
After the bath, the queen herself escorted you to a private dining hall, for you to eat.  The queen was about to have your maids be escorted elsewhere to eat, but you insisted they eat with you. The two maids, being Fei and Mei, two sisters from a family that has served your kingdom for generations. They have always taken care of you from the mere age of 9, when your parents decided it was time to have help. Although it was evident the queen didn’t agree, she allowed the maids to sit and dine with you.  After settling you with food. The queen set off to bed, you assumed. Breakfast shall be set in the garden courtyard and there you’ll meet the prince and the king, the queen had informed you.
As the queen made her way to her own chambers she saw her son, pacing in front of her doors. “My boy, it’s very late, you should be fast asleep” the queen said.  
“Mother,” Jeno called out then turned to her maids, “please leave us” the queen nodded her head giving the maids permission to leave her side. 
“What is it my dear?” The queen asked as Jeno walked with her into her room. Jeno gathered the tea set and poured his mother a cup as she sat down. 
“Do you truly expect me to marry that girl, mother?” Jeno asked, “an alliance could be negotiated without marriage.  That girl offers nothing of value to our kingdom or our family. There are plenty of women within this council that would make a much better bride.” Jeno sighed, he barely wanted to be married, least of all married to a princess he didn’t know at all, “Mother you can’t seriously think marrying princess (Y/N) is any good for anyone.” 
Hearing her son complain about a girl he’s never met gave the queen a headache. The queen once met Princess (Y/N) long ago, during a summit meeting to first discuss the end of the war. The little girl at the time was maybe only 9 or 10 years old but she was far more wise than any children the queen had ever met. Princess (Y/N) is only three years younger than her son and when the queen met the little girl on a visit to the Modia kingdom, she knew that princess (Y/N) would be a fine monarch. 
“I do expect you to marry her, and I do think she be great, not only for our family but for Northcy as well” the queen told her son, “so I expect you to be up early and be eager to meet the princess tomorrow morning” 
“Mother, you're kidding right?  You want me to wine and dine Princess (y/n), the stubborn, unwavering princess that never once cared about her title?” Jeno asked the queen with a look of disbelief on his face. 
“I am not kidding Crown Prince Lee Jeno, and I expect you to be at breakfast prepared to meet your future bride, and I expect there to be no complaints from you at all tomorrow morning,” the queen said standing up to dismiss her son out of the room, “do I make myself clear?” 
Jeno knew that whenever his mother addressed him by his proper title he was in trouble, “yes mother, you have made yourself clear” Jeno answered grudgingly, knowing he had lost this argument. 
“Very well, good night my son” 
The sun rose bright and early the next morning. The princess made her way to the courtyard for breakfast with her maids and guards. Fei and Mei always trailed the princess, never standing in her way, while her two guards always led the princess, never allowing anything to touch her without permission. The two guards the princess brought refused to leave her side, even though there was an alliance between all the kingdoms didn’t mean that the people would easily accept the princess. 
“People will talk if you two don’t leave me be” the princess told her guards. 
“My princess, we will be executed if anything were to happen to you, following you wherever you go is the best way to ensure that doesn’t happen” the princess’ personal guard, Bang Chan. He joined the army at the fresh age of 18, became the princess’ personal guard at 20,  fell in love with the princess at 22 and he is now 24. Fei, Mei, Chan, the other guard, Hyunjin, and the princess were all friends, they have basically spent the past 3 years together. The princess was only ever alone for a few minutes, when she lay in bed, in the middle of the night before sleep consumed her. 
“Princess (y/n),” the queen called out getting up from her seat at the breakfast as she saw the princess approach the pavilion, “come dear take a seat and you can dismiss your guards and handmaids” 
“Very well your majesty,” the princess said as she dismissed the handmaids and guards as she took her seat. Giving them all a look as to not make a scene. 
The princess and the queen began to chat amongst themselves, they were not allowed to start eating until the rest of the party arrived. 
“My dear maybe, tomorrow you can come by my room and try on your wedding dress,” the queen told the princess. 
“Wedding dress?” The princess asked nearly choking on air, “I mean no disrespect your majesty but don’t think you it’s so soon, I haven’t even met the prince”
“Never too soon, and it doesn’t matter because you’ll meet my son right now,” And that’s when reality set in for the princess, she was in enemy territory, meeting her fiance.  Prince Jeno and the King made their way to the pavilion to sit and dine for breakfast.  
The rest of breakfast went by in a blur, the princess didn’t speak unless questions were directed towards her and not many questions were.  The king was kind but not very welcoming, just because war was over didn’t mean all the problems were solved in the country. He still had many issues to tackle, especially with a wedding approaching and the two kingdoms alliance still fresh. Jeno remained quiet for the majority of breakfast, he didn’t want to anger his mother for that would only enrage his father and no one wanted to see an angry king. The queen tried her very best to get everyone to speak but it didn’t work out as well as she had hoped. 
The king had already left the table and just as Jeno was getting ready to leave his mother called out. “Jeno, why don’t you take the princess and show her around Norhall, it’s her first day here,” Jeno was getting ready to argue with his mother until he saw the stern look in her eye. 
“Yes mother,” Jeno answered, he looked almost pained to say yes.  
You and Jeno walked around the palace in an awkward silence as he pointed things out to you here and there. Jeno wore a simple pair of black dress pants and a light blue button up dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His black hair tousled, almost looking like he just rolled out of bed. The two of you entered what you could assume to be the palace library. It was something that was straight out of the movies, the walls were lined with books, from ceiling to floor. 
“You don’t talk much, do you?” Jeno asked. As you ran your hands across a shelf of books. Some of the books looked to be written in a language of Modia that was long forgotten. 
“I was raised to only speak when spoken to, my father was keen to traditions,” you stated.  Reading wasn’t something you found yourself doing often, but a desire to stay here and bury yourself into an enriching tale, was there. 
“Traditions? Something like women are only meant to be child bearers?” Jeno asked with a quaint smirk. The question wasn’t shocking, it wasn’t a surprise to anyone, in any kingdom, that the Modia royals were traditional. There were many things you weren’t allowed to do, considering it was unladylike. 
“Yes and no,” the princess started, “Growing up, men and women were equal to each other, but they had different goals to accomplish. A woman was to bear a child, to continue a king’s rule, a man was to provide a just and safe kingdom for his children.” 
The rest of the tour was met with silence, Jeno continued to point out things to you and when the two arrived at your chambers, Jeno bid you a farewell until the evening meal, almost looking to be relieved to be done. 
The princess’ comment on how she was raised stuck in Jeno’s mind. Was that all a king was meant to do, make a just and safe kingdom? Was that all the princess expected from him? No fairy tale like romance? No faithful, supporting husband kind of stuff? If ensuring the kingdom's safety and justice system was all she expected, Jeno could fulfill those expectations before an earth's orbit. 
The days bled into each other, winter was approaching fast, it had already been a month into the princess’ stay in the Northcy kingdom. Being this far north from the equator the days started to get chiller, by the time winter came the kingdom would have already seen snow. 
Being from Modia, a tropical climate, the princess was excited for winter to approach, she had never seen snow before. However the princess was not prepared for the chill of an approaching winter. When the winter comes and the snow falls the princess will be constantly shivering due to the cold. 
Ever since the first day of the princess’ arrival to the Northcy kingdom, her daily duties have been filled as well as Jeno’s. Jeno was already a member of the council as crown prince and he needed to be fully aware of the duties as a king before ascending the throne. The princess was busy familiarizing herself with the kingdom and it’s departments as this would be her new home. Not to mention the wedding was to take place in exactly two months from now, just before the new year. 
There was much to do, and much little time. You spent most of your time with the queen. Learning about the council members and their families. You already held a vast knowledge of the council of the Modia kingdom.  Back home there were 10 high houses, only 3 of the houses held any power, the other 7 were just for show and didn’t hold much power.  However Jeno’s future council held 18 different noble families, a royal advisor, two extra seats for “special members” and the general held two votes.  As to why Jeno’s future council held two special seats or why the general had two votes, was beyond you.  Not to mention the difference in vocabulary, in Modia it was high houses, in Northcy it was noble families. The amount of papers to review to remember all of the council was never ending.   Apparently it was the queen’s duty to be informed of all noble members and their families, as well was it the queen’s duty to oversee the budgets spent on entertaining said families.  The list of responsibilities seemingly never ending. 
You and Jeno rarely saw each other, except for the evening meals together with the king and queen. 
“Jeno, why don’t you introduce (y/n) to your brothers tomorrow?” The queen asked her son during one dinner. When Jeno heard the question he nearly choked on his drink.  The queen was kind and loving, but she always made it abundantly clear that Jeno was her one and only child. 
“Very well mother,” Jeno answered his mom. This utterly confused you, because Jeno was the only known heir to the throne. In the whole month preparing for life in the Northcy there wasn’t a single indication of Jeno having any brothers. Not even in your years of schooling did you learn about the children of the Northcy king. All the books, and teaching said King Lee Donghae of the royal Lee family and Queen Lee Jaeyeon of the Noble Na family, had one child, Crown Prince Lee Jeno of the royal Lee family. Such long titles, did the royals have. 
After dinner Jeno took the opportunity to escort you back to your chambers. As much as the prince said he hated marriage and despised the fact that you were here. He couldn’t help the curiosity bubbling inside of him. Jeno constantly found himself watching you as you made your way through the palace. Trying to catch a glimpse into the drawing rooms you studied in. Or just watching the way your hands handled the cutlery at dinner. 
“I wasn’t aware you had siblings?” You had asked Jeno during the walk to your chambers. The curiosity of it all forming the words for you. 
“All half siblings, I’m my mothers only child but I’m the third son of my father” Jeno answered. 
“Third son? Your father had other women? You’re brothers weren’t angry that the throne was given to you instead of them?” The questions seemingly come to mind one after another, not having enough strength to stop them. “I’m sorry,” you said, realizing you might be pushing onto an unsettling topic, “it’s not my place.” 
“It’s alright,” Jeno said, smirking to himself. “The first three years on the throne my mother couldn’t produce an heir. The council insisted an heir be produced, by any means. My oldest brother, son of a nobleman's daughter, an approved out of wedlock union, was crown prince for several years. He said he hated every moment of it, it’s a shame because he would have made a great leader, but he believes it’s not for him. Then my second brother, son of one of my father's courtesans, he was never crown prince and he knew he would never be crown prince but he never minded, he actually promised to stand by my side when I took the throne. And my younger, son of a lucky maid, we’re just a few months apart, he however has admitted he wouldn’t make a great ruler, but he promised to take over if something were to happen to me,” Jeno chuckled finishing his statement. 
“Lucky maid?” 
“My father is a just and fair man, he is a good father and a better king.” Jeno paused before continuing, wondering just how much to tell you, would it matter? Considering the two of you would be married before years end. “However he is a terrible husband, if Modia had a beautiful Queen doing it’s negotiation, who knows if Northcy would’ve put up a fight.” Jeno stated, like it was a fact. Like the world knew that the King would step out of his wife, every now and then. Then again, father did always say ‘palace walls hear more than any other wall,’ maybe everyone did know already. “I say the maid was lucky because there was no evidence to suggest that my father saw her. However when she laid her accusations at his feet, he accepted the child and paid the maid to say nothing,” Jeno finished off with a small shake of his head. 
As the princess thought about this she found this regret in Jeno like he regretted being born and taking the throne from his oldest brother. The princess would later learn, from Fei and Mei through other gossiping maids, that Jeno never wanted the throne, that he tried to surrender it, he just wanted to live a carefree life without a nation depending on him. Oh, how you wished to do the same. 
The next morning Jeno waited outside the princess’ chambers to walk with her to breakfast with his brothers. In front of her chambers stood her two guards, Jeno looked at the two men standing in front and he wondered how long they had known the princess. Jeno had two personal guards of his own, each of the princes had two personal guards, but they never followed Jeno around in the palace. The only time Jeno sees his guards is whenever he leaves the palace, odd how your guards followed you almost everywhere within the palace. 
A moment passed and you walked out ready for breakfast. You greeted the prince and he greeted you. As you walked, your two guards began to follow as they were trained to do. “You know you can dismiss them, I can handle escorting you to breakfast,” Jeno told you. You looked behind and noticed the two guards there. 
“Chan, Hyunjin, you don’t have to follow us, I’ll be alright,” you told the dear boys. 
It took everything in Chan not to be mad at how you so easily believed that Jeno could protect you. “With all due respect my princess, it is our duty to ensure your safety at all times, the best way to achieve that is to follow you all the time,” you smiled to yourself as Chan finished his statement. You knew he wasn’t gonna allow you to be alone with Jeno and his brothers. 
“Very well” was all you said and continued to walk. The rest of the walk to the dinning hall was silent, Jeno didn’t like the idea that the guards didn’t leave after you told them they could but he understood it was only their job, reminding himself, the alliance was not technically complete yet. 
When arriving at the dining hall, Jeno placed a hand on the small of your back walking with you towards the table. Chan and Hyunjin remained at the door of the dining hall, far enough to watch but barely hear anything.  When arriving at the table, Jeno introduced each of his brothers.  The oldest is a tall, lean, and handsome young man. He had a sharp jawline with piercing eyes but a childlike smile. His name was Taeyong. The second brother had dark dark hair, with round eyes and small lips, he was closer to Jeno’s age than the older brother, his name was Mark. The last brother was more tan than the first two and he had a much rounder face with puffy cheeks, his name was Donghyuck. However they called him Haechan because of his bright personality that reflected the sun. 
“Be happy that you have such a pretty bride Jeno,” Taeyong told his younger brother. You sat beside Jeno, on one side of the table, across from you sat Haechan and next to him sat Mark. At the front of the table sat Taeyong with the right side having Jeno and the left having Mark. Even though Jeno was the crown prince, he showed his older brothers the utmost respect. He never flaunted his title to any of them and he adhered to all their advice. 
“(Y/n), my brother is a good man however he has a very very bad temper, I ask you to be patient with him for he means well but he doesn’t always know how to express it,” Taeyong addresses you. You’re able to tell despite his young age, Taeyong is a man that is wise beyond his years. Jeno doesn’t try to fight back his comment, he simply nods his head. Jeno was different here, you often ate with Jeno, almost every evening. However at dinner Jeno was silent, stoic even, here Jeno seemed relaxed, as if he was a simple 21 year old and not a future king. 
The rest of breakfast goes on with funny stories of Jeno’s youth and constant laughter. This would have to be the first time you saw Jeno ever laugh since your arrival. He had a beautiful smile that reached all the way up to his eyes. The way he acted around his brothers was an all too pleasing difference. He was calm, inviting even, it was like night and day with how different he was. 
“We should go horseback riding, they say the first snow is gonna fall today!” Exclaimed Haechan.  Northcy looked forward to the first snow, it was both a privilege and a tradition to ride horseback during the first snow. Both you and Jeno didn’t have any duties for the day which was rare. The queen made sure that your usual duties were postponed, she had hoped that this day would allow you and Jeno to bond in a way. “Please Taeyong, come with us, you never hang out with us anymore since you took that position by father,” Haechan whined. You had learned that after Taeyong stepped down from crown prince when Jeno was born he went into the army and within the past year he took the position of general in the army. He was actually one of the main reasons that Northcy continued to win battles against the Modia Kingdom. He was the general that was allowed two votes at council, he is the general and a prince. 
“Just for the morning, I have duties this afternoon,” Taeyong said, not wanting to disappoint his brothers. They all cheered, including Jeno. As the brothers got up to head towards the stables, you were about to bid them a farewell. Horseback riding wasn’t something you were permitted to do, father said ‘there is no need for you to learn, focus on remembering council members instead’. 
“You’re not leaving us are you (y/n)?” Haechan asked the disappointment laced in his voice. 
“I don’t know how to ride, I am sorry” you stated matter of factly. 
“Oh who cares? You can ride with me, you won’t have to learn right now,``Haechan said as he grabbed your wrist and started to pull you towards the stables. Shock was evident on your face. Mark and your two guards were running after the two of you. Jeno was about to race after you until Taeyong grabbed his shoulder. 
“He doesn’t mean anything by it, Jeno,” Taeyong said, even if it was only a split second Taeyong could see the rage and jealousy spill over his brother from how Haechan grabbed onto you. “You don’t want to scare the poor girl” 
“Tae, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jeno said, “I don’t have any feelings for her.”  Which wasn’t entirely wrong, Jeno held no feelings for you, at least not the feelings you should have for the person you’re gonna marry. However Jeno didn’t like that Haechan just dragged you away, it was impolite, the princess deserves to be treated with respect, Jeno thought to himself. 
“Keep telling yourself that,” Taeyong said as he watched the gears turn in Jeno’s head. 
You and Haechan were the first to arrive at the stables. Mark followed soon after and after Mark was Chan and Hyunjin, all three boys were panting not realizing how far the dining hall was from the stables. After a while Jeno and Taeyong arrived side by side. 
“You tire yourselves out already?” Taeyong jokes to his two brothers, “guards, I’m sorry you had to run all the way here, but you can leave the princess be already, she will be alright”
“I do no-“ Chan was about to speak until you interrupted. 
“It’s fine Chan, you and Hyunjin go get some food or walk around the palace. I’ll be alright,” you said, giving Chan pleading eyes not to make a scene, you didn’t want to ruin such a happy moment for Jeno and his brothers. Chan understood, and he and Hyunjin left to ensure everything. 
The stablemates prepared the horses for the princes, Taeyong had a serene white horse, it looked strong and sturdy as most horses do, but you could tell this horse belonged to Taeyong as when the horse immediately saw Taeyong it’s face was bright. Mark had a beautiful black horse, hair dark as midnight. Haechan had a brown horse, whose coat was shiny in the morning sun. Jeno’s horse was white as well but the horse seemed more like Jeno. Taeyong’s horse was white but it had a serene and elegant energy, while Jeno’s horse had a cold and chilling energy. Each of the boys began getting on top of their horses and Haechan was about to give you a hand to help you up his horse to ride with him. Then Jeno came up from behind and stood between you and Haechan. “The princess will ride with me,” Jeno told his younger brother. 
“Awh why? She doesn’t want to ride with you anyway,” Haechan said, not meaning to make his brother mad but just to tease him. However when Haechan saw the look his brother gave him he knew, he made him upset. 
Jeno offered you a hand and because you actually wanted to go horseback riding you accepted. Jeno places you in front of him with one leg on each side, back pressed into his chest. Then you guys were off. You expected it to be a slow ride, however that wasn’t the case at all. You quickly learned that Jeno and his brothers enjoyed racing. Jeno kept one hand on your waist holding you against his chest to ensure you didn’t fall and you kept both hands on the saddle to also ensure you didn’t fall. You never realized how tall a horse was until you were on top of one and looking down towards the ground. 
The wind was blowing in your face, it felt freeing. The experience was new and exciting to you; this was something you would like to do again. Jeno wasn’t paying much attention to you, he was still just a young adult and the need to beat his brothers took his attention. In the middle of the race a snow began to fall, it was light, almost dream-like.  Haechan was right, today was the first snow. You looked up in amazement, this was the first time you had ever seen snow in your entire life, the snow didn’t last though, melting before it even hit the ground.  Soon the race was over, Taeyong trailed behind during most of the race until it was almost one and then he pulled ahead winning. After that came you and Jeno, then Haechan and lastly Mark. By the time you made it to the clearing, you were shivering from the cold already. Jeno noticed your shivering body and pulled you closer and wrapped his arms around you to keep you warm. You leaned further back into Jeno’s touch, trying to embrace as much warmth that radiated off him. Jeno placed his chin on top of your head and smiled to himself. At that moment you guys did look like you were engaged. 
Taeyong took notice of how his younger brother treated you and smiled to himself. Jeno was just a young boy who was expected to do great things. Taeyong was treated the same when he was born, however Taeyong was the lucky one. When Jeno was born all the responsibility left Taeyong and was dropped onto Jeno. To most people Jeno would appear to be the luckiest Prince, however Taeyong knew Jeno didn’t feel like it. Jeno was never allowed to have a normal childhood. During childhood Mark and Haechan ran around the palace freely, while Jeno took etiquette classes for council meetings.  In middle school, Haechan and Mark began taking up sports, while Jeno had to take up hand-to-hand combat training.  In high school, Mark and Haechan were allowed to actually go to a school, but Jeno had private tutors and began attending council meetings.  Jeno took on all these responsibilities, never throwing a tantrum, never taking it out on his brothers, in the eyes of the people of Northcy, Jeno was a picture perfect prince.  Jeno is the picture perfect prince. 
You and the rest of the boys rode back towards the stables. You held onto the arm that was draped across your chest like a seatbelt, you felt as if you were in a dream.  As you arrived towards the stable you saw Chan and Hyunjin, the look Chan held was chilling, you began to shiver again.  You let go of Jeno’s arm and wrapped your arms around yourself, practically forcing Jeno’s arm off of you. You dropped your head in an attempt to avoid Chan’s intimidating glare. You felt nothing for Jeno, except responsibility. Jeno was simply a way to save your people, he was your responsibility, your duty and nothing more. 
“Princess, are you alright?” Jeno questioned when you forced his arm away, he could still feel you shivering. 
“I’m fine, just tired,” you said breathlessly wanting to go back to your chambers. 
You arrived at the stables and Jeno immediately got off the horse and helped you down. You bid a farewell to each of the princes and excused yourself, Jeno stood there utterly confused thinking that the ride went well. Jeno saw you walk off with your guards and it looked as if one of the guards were speaking to you. 
“Are you in love with him?!” Chan yelled in your face in the privacy of your bedroom
“Why would I be in love with that prince?!” You screamed back.
“You seemed all in love today holding onto him like?!” Chan kept yelling, a single tear slid down your face. Chan’s face immediately filled with regret, he shouldn’t be questioning you like this, he knew you didn’t want to marry Jeno. Chan pulled you close and you sobbed into his chest. He held you close for what seemed like hours as you sobbed. You loved Chan with all of your heart, you wanted to run away and live a happy and simple life with Chan. However each night that you thought of that dream, the cries of your people pulled you back to reality. You had a duty to fulfill, no matter the feelings your heart held. 
“Are you alright, my princess?” Chan asked as you pulled away. 
“Please never yell at me again, I don’t know if I could handle you being upset with me like that again,” you said breathing heavily, your heart hurt knowing you can’t be with the man you loved. 
“Of course, my princess,” Chan said, wiping the tears from your cheeks. Chan felt terrible, he allowed his emotions to get the best of him.  He needed to remember his place, and it was not right for him to be like this with you.  “(y/n), I’m sorry, I had no right to yell or question you like that,” your face in his hand.  
“I don’t,” you paused trying to calm down, “I don’t love him, I love you.”
“I know,” Chan said, he had loving eyes, “but you can not continue to love me, my princess.” A sad smile painted itself on his face. Tears came welling to your eyes, you closed your eyes allowing the tears to fall and nodding.  What Chan said was the sad truth. 
After making sure you were feeling better Chan left your side to go stand guard outside your doors. As Chan exited your room, Prince Jeno approached, the two made eye contact, Chan quickly looked down not wanting to see the man that would take the love of his life. 
“Has the princess gone off?” Jeno asked the other guard, Hyunjin. 
“She still there?” Hyunjin asked Chan
“Yeah, she’s about to have a cup of tea,” Chan said as he returned to his position. Prince Jeno made his way into your room, not stopping to knock. 
“You seriously need to be careful,” Hyunjin said to Chan 
“Careful? Of what?” Chan asked acting clueless 
“Chan, she is the future queen of our nation. She is going to marry Prince Jeno whether you like it or not, it’s her duty, and you know how this (y/n) is, she isn’t gonna run away from what needs to be done. I know you love her and I know she loves you but you gotta let her go,” Hyunjin said with sad eyes, he knew how much his friend cared for you, it was truly a pity you two couldn’t be together. 
Jeno wanted to chase after you after the horseback ride, however that wasn’t possible. 
“Crown Prince Lee Jeno, General Lee Taeyong, Prince Lee Mark and Prince Lee Donghyuck, your presence is requested by the king,” a palace servant had called for the boys. 
“Father wanted to see all of us, this must not be good,” Mark said as panic started to flood his face 
“Oh please we haven’t done anything wrong,” Haechan said 
“Really? You’ve caused no trouble in the past day or two?” Jeno asked his brother, Haechan always enjoyed a good prank 
“I promise my future king I have caused no such trouble within the palace walls,” Haechan said with an exaggerated bow to Jeno. Jeno hates being addressed like that especially by his brothers and Haechan loved to do it because he knew it made Jeno mad. Naturally Jeno started chasing Haechan around to give him ‘what he deserved’ according to Jeno
“Hey, quit fighting already, do you want to keep the actual king waiting?” Taeyong asked his two brother who were currently on the ground wrestling
“No,” both boys said with their heads hung low. The brothers made their way to see the king. 
Upon arrival the four boys were greeted by their father and Jeno’s mother. “Your majesties,” Taeyong greeted and bowed along with the three other boys who remained silent. They were in the King’s private drawing room, the drawing room was plain, simple, it was much more like a lounging area for the King to entertain in private meetings. There was a secret door behind the shelves of books that led to the King’s office, no one was allowed in the King’s office. Not once did Jeno, or his brothers, or his mother ever step foot inside the office. Only the king, and one servant, Jung, the king’s personal butler since he was a boy. 
“You’ve requested our presence, father?” Taeyong asked, standing straight and looking directly at his father. 
“Yes, I want to make an announcement to all of you, after Princess (y/n) and Jeno’s Union, I am thinking of stepping down as king,” The king said with a bright smile upon his face. 
“What father?!” Jeno shouted in pure shock 
“Yes, I will step down from the throne after you are married and you will be crowned King, but before all that, my two sons, Mark and Donghyuck, I want to make you each member of the council,” The king said with a satisfied look. 
“Father stepping down? No king in the history of our entire kingdom has ever stepped down before, is that even possible?” Jeno asked
“If it’s not possible, I will make it possible. You, my son, have served on the council for almost five years now, since you were 16, you are ready for the throne and your brothers will help guide the way for you. Taeyong is already a member of the council, and Mark and Donghyuck are sure to catch on soon enough. Northcy is entering a time of peace; there's no need to worry about ascending the throne too early,” the king said with a satisfied grin.  Haechan and Mark were given off to two council members; they were expected to start learning their duties immediately. Leaving only Jeno and Taeyong. 
“Father, you can’t be serious,” Jeno groaned in frustration.  “Even if you consider Northcy to be entering a time of peace, there is no telling how our people will react to this union,” Jeno stated, his voice clear and concise. Although his point was to defer his father from stepping down, all it did was further prove that the king could step down. Jeno was thinking what was best for his people, and he held the confidence of a king. 
“Jeno, my boy, I am stepping down, not dying. I will help you at every step of the way. And the transition between me stepping down and you being crowned king will be lengthy.” The king looked at his son, “there is no need for you to worry so much.” 
“Father, no, you cannot just step down because I am forced into a marriage. That clearly is not wanted nor needed,” Jeno stuck firm to his stances on the issues, the venom being weaved into his voice. 
“My boy,” the king stood from his seat, placing both hands on Jeno’s shoulders, “you need not worry so much, all will be well. It’s best you boys head off. I’m sure you have much work that needs to be done, Taeyong?” The king asked to change the subject. 
“Yes Father, the plans to bring home soldiers and redistribute soldiers in all parts of Northcy is an effect. I’ll see to it personally that everything goes well,” Taeyong states, pulling Jeno along to leave the king and queen in the drawing room. 
“Taeyong, I don’t want this, I don’t want to be king, I don’t wanna get married, why is father making me do this? Can’t you become king and ascend the throne?” Jeno asked his older brother, as he exited the room, anyone could see in Jeno’s face how much the idea of being king worried him. 
“Jeno, you will make a fine king, don't worry so much, and the princess is a beautiful girl. What's the problem with marrying her?” 
“The problem isn’t her, the problem is marriage, I don’t want it, not right now at least,” Jeno sighed, “and I want to get married to someone I know, someone I love, not some girl that father and mother presented to me.” Taeyong knew what he meant and if he could lift the burdens from his brother's shoulders he would but this was Jeno’s duty as the only male heir of the true king and queen. Sadly after Jeno’s statement, Taeyong was called away by a maid, leaving Jeno to his thoughts. 
As Jeno walked away from the drawing room, he found himself wandering towards your chambers. As he got near, he saw one of your guards exit your room. A princess in her private chambers, alone with a boy. Clearly that would call for a scandal, not to mention the princess’ engagement. 
“Has the princess gone off?” Jeno asked the other guard, Hyunjin, as he approached your doors. 
“She still there?” Hyunjin asked The guard coming out of your room, Chan
“Yeah, she’s about to have a cup of tea,” Chan said as he returned to his position. Prince Jeno made his way into your room, within he saw you seated pouring some tea. 
“Chan, I promise I am fine, go before people talk,” you said not paying attention to who had entered. 
“It is I Princess, Jeno” 
“Prince Jeno!” You said startled, immediately getting up to greet the prince. 
“You don’t need to bow, princess, it is only you and I here” Jeno said with a soft smile as he made his way near your table, “may I?” Jeno gestures asking if he could take a seat. Your chambers held little personality. The walls were painted a pastel green, and the trim was an off white. There was no balcony in this room, but large windows that allowed an abundant amount of sunlight.  There were two white couches with a glass coffee table in between and a small table that held the tea set was in front of a large window, overlooking a courtyard. 
“Of course, of course, would you like a cup of tea, I was just about to pour myself some,” you asked frantically, still unsure why Jeno was in your room. 
“Yes, please,” Jeno answered. You two sat in an awkward silence, sipping your tea and waiting for the other to speak. 
“Sooooooo...” you started but trailed off, you reminded yourself to just breathe, Jeno was merely a young adult, who happened to be the future king of your nation and was to be your husband. “Why did you come here?” You asked as you found your words. 
“Right,” Jeno set down his cup of tea, turning to face you, “I wanted to make sure you were alright, you didn’t seem well after the horseback ride,” Jeno stayed, there was a look of worry within his eyes. His gaze made you feel cared for, something you thought the prince was incapable of doing at one point in your life. 
“I am just fine,” you felt a blush creep up to your cheeks, looking away to hide from the prince, “no reason for you to worry.” 
“Are you sure? You rushed off so quickly I was barely able to even say bye as you left,” Jeno pressed on further, deep in his gut Jeno believed you rushing off had something to do with the guard, but he pushed the feeling further down as there was no reason to think that just yet.  
“I’m alright, Jeno,” that was the first time in your entire stay here you addressed Jeno by merely his name, not with his title. He actually liked hearing you say his name, he liked the way you spoke.  Your tone was always gentle, kind, silk like to his ears.  Jeno pushed further on, asking you questions about you, your family.  In an attempt to avoid conversations about you personally, you spoke of your family, when that didn’t work, you asked questions instead of answered.  
You learned Jeno was a skilled archer and he preferred music studies over all others. Jeno has never seen a single battle or a moment of war, Taeyong took those burdens, he was the prince in the war. Jeno doesn’t know what it’s like to have a kingdom fall into poverty, his kingdom always had money and a large army.  You also learned that Jeno wanted to join the army with his brother but was denied by his father, saying Jeno isn’t allowed to die. Jeno wanted to learn music and how to paint but was forced into archery and history. Jeno’s life was a never changing path that was decided, it was a set road ready for him to walk. 
Jeno has learned that you were not meant to be queen at all. You had an older brother and two older sisters, you were the youngest child of the king and queen. However when the war took lives faster than new ones were born, your siblings weren’t afraid to step up to the fight.  Being royal children, you and your siblings were raised as equals, learning everything from cooking, cleaning to martial arts and war techniques. Your siblings being much older than you, when they left home to fight, you were still doing your schooling. After each letter made it back home instead of themselves, that’s when your parents knew they could no longer keep fighting this war. They had already lost millions of people and now three of their children. 
After the third letter made it home, your father put in order 15, cease fire but hold the line. The soldier at the war front was not to evacuate or move from their position but they was to stop firing at the enemy. The negotiations for peace began, not that Modia had much to negotiate anyway, without a male heir, the kingdom would fall out of the family.  The royal family line died with your brother, so the island that started it all would be left alone out of respect for Modia, all of Modia’s territories would be in control of the new King and Queen, and Makena Palace in Modia, would now become a summer palace.   This was only after the death of your father, Modia would only be incontrol Jeno’s control after your father passed on. 
As the two of you talked on and on, neither one of you noticed or addressed Fei and Mei. The two maids entered your chambers, to help in any way you saw fit. However, seeing you in deep conversation with the Prince, Fei and Mei decided to go about their routine. Pulling out the evening dress for dinner, fixing the bed that was behind another set of doors, cleaning the bathroom. The two maids nearly complete all tasks in utter silence. It was until Fei and Mei entered the bathroom did either one of them decide to speak. Your bathroom was connected to the sleeping area of your bedroom, which was separated by a wall and double doors from where you and Jeno were. 
“Getting cozy fast, the princess has,” Fei stated to her sister. 
“Fei, watch what you say,” Mei stated in a rather hushing manner. 
“Mei, no one can hear us, but us,” Fei started off, “all I am saying is the Princess seems to be getting along well with the Prince, nothing more” 
“I hope Chan is alright,” Mei stated and Fei just nodded along knowingly. Anyone, everyone, in your kingdom knew the story. Knew of the princess and her personal guard, there was no denying the loving looks passed among the two of you. 
The knock at your door, pulled you and Jeno out of your guys thoughts. Looking towards the two eggshell white French doors anticipating who would ruin such a divine moment. One door was slowly pushed open revealing the Queen. Both you and Jeno immediately stood, bowing to greet the queen. 
“My apologies, I didn’t realize you had a guest Princess, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” the queen said hand over heart. 
“No apology needed, your majesty,” you said slowly rising for your bowing stances, “your presence, is no interruption.” ‘The presence of any queen or king, is never an interruption to anyone, you must remember that even as royalty, it is an honor to be in the presence of a king or queen,’ Lady Kam’s lessons on proper etiquette, plays in your mind. 
“My dear daughter,” the queen has taken a keen interest in calling you daughter, the name causing you to tense. “You must meet with the gardener, the flower arrangements aren’t set yet.” 
“Of course, your majesty,” you said, you would take memorizing noble families over wedding arrangements any day, but you can no longer avoid the duties. “I apologize, Prince Jeno, for I must leave you.” 
“No apology needed,” Jeno said, looking at you, longing for a few minutes ago, when your conversation wasn’t interrupted. 
You and the queen walked together to meet the gardener in the main foyer. You stayed a step behind the queen, everything from the seating arrangement to the way you walked must be done in a hierarchy order.  The queen had a higher status than you, so she led the group, you were second, and followed only a step behind. Then your maids and lastly your guards. It wasn’t common for your guards to follow instead of lead, but since this was the queen they had to follow. 
Even what you wore was a sign of status. The queen wore navy straight leg pants, topped with a white, bishop sleeve blouse that went up to her neck. A simple medallion necklace laid on her chest, her hair pulled back into a tight low bun and a simple silver tiara topped her head. The outfit was simple, but classy, only something a queen would wear. Certainly more elegant than what you wore. You wore black tight dress pants with a deep crimson red wrap long sleeved blouse.  
As you entered the main foyer, there the gardener, an older gentleman, old enough to be your father, stood. He was a slim man, skin obviously tanned from the sun, his hair salt and pepper from age. Next to him stood a young boy, at first just looking like an assistant for the gardener. But as you drew closer to them, you could see the resemblance between the two, the same nose, the same cheek bones, the same jaw line, they were father and son. 
“Your majesty,” the older gentleman stated, as he and his son bowed, “I am Andrew and this is my son Ramsey.” 
“Please to meet the two of you,” the queen started out, “let us make our way to the palace garden, there you can see the flowers we have and what will work best for the wedding.” 
All of you made your way through the palace back to the private garden. The only area where the temperature remained regulated, it was warm there. The queen and the gardener talked amongst themselves about the flower arrangements, never once asking your opinion.  This is how most wedding arrangements went, the queen handled it all, every now and then looking to you for a nod of approval m, which you always gave. There was no reason to argue, you thought, the queen will have the wedding she wants, it wasn’t exactly like you wanted this. 
The son didn't speak at all either, he just held a tablet with a pen. Wrote everything that needed to be remembered. Never allowing his father and the queen to venture out of ear shot. Close enough behind to hear everything but not too close to get in the way. Oh how you envied him, to be responsible for so little. A simple life as a gardener’s daughter festered in your daydreams, as you looked on to the flowers. Walking away from the group, to the neglected parts of the garden. It was all taken care of, just neglected because no one seemed to enjoy these flowers as much as the others. 
“Princess (y/n),” the queen called, pulling you from your thoughts. 
“Huh?” Was all that came to mind to say 
“I’ve been trying to get your attention dear,” the queen looked to you with a show of concern, but under the concern was a hint of irritation that you weren’t focused on the task at hand. “How do red and white roses sound for your bouquet and then we’ll have blue carnations for all the arrangements?” 
‘I held orchids for my bouquet, they were always my favorite flowers’ your mother told you one day long, long ago. “Instead of white roses for the bouquet, what about white orchids?” You asked, more to the queen than the gardener. 
“That’s possible,” the gardener said as his son wrote. 
The queen in shock of you actually making a decision, smiling to herself, hoping this was a sign you’re coming around to the idea of this marriage. “Of course my dear, whatever you want.” 
The words meant to encourage and uplift you about the wedding, did the exact opposite. Hearing ‘whatever you want’ from the queen caused you to physically flinch. What I want is to cancel this wedding and go home. 
Soon enough the meeting with the gardener and his son was over. See the two of them off leaving the palace. All the flower arrangements set into motion. 
“Tomorrow, you have an important luncheon with the noble Na family,” the queen stated walking away from the foyer, you, following closely behind. “The noble families will  soon start arriving at the palace for the wedding.” 
“Already? We’re still two months out” 
“The Na family will be arriving late this evening, and the two of us will see to it that they are settled in,” the queen started off, “and in a couple weeks, the noble Min family will come and then a week after them will be the noble Kim family. By that time we will only be a month from the weddings and more families will continue to arrive. Take the next few hours and prepare yourself, it’s time to put all those lessons on the Northcy kingdom to the test.”
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127cloud · a month ago
69 places to have sex | lee jeno
pairing: jeno x f!reader
genre: smut
warnings: explicit smut, a couple with a very spontaneous sex life and a boyfriend with a bucket list of places to have sex, dom!jeno, inexperenced!reader, fingering, clit play, oral sex (f receiving), non idol!jeno, dirty talk, seduction, established relationship!au, semi public, parents house kink, slight degradation, exhibitionist!jeno, explicit language, bucket list sex places!au, just pure filth.
word count: 2.4k
summary: “Baby, we’re in your parents’ kitchen.” You muttered, squeaking softly, trying to push his arm away with both of your hands, but he just kept pressing those fingers into your core. “That’s what makes it so *naughty*.” He whispered against your neck before his mouth wound up back against yours.
a/n: this going to be a three part series, if you want to be added to the taglist send me an ask or reply to this post ♡
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Raising your fist to knock on the red-coloured oak door in front of you, you quickly stopped your actions the moment you felt a familiar hand roam up your bare thigh from underneath the tight pencil skirt you had slipped on earlier, just to rest on your butt. 
You scoffed as you turned your head to look at Satan himself, “Jeno,” You warned, using your free hand that wasn’t trying to support the glass baking container full of rice cake to push his hand away, “I’m trying to make a good impression here.” You reminded him as you pouted, trying to get the point across that this meant a lot to you. “Please don’t give your parents any clues of what we do during our days off.” 
He pouted back at you due to the rejection and huffed, “Fine.” He replied, smoothing his hand all the way from your backside, back up to your waist.
Facing forward again, you took one last look at the small, rectangular cake sitting in your hands. You made it, of course, for the ‘good impression’.
Jeno told you how much his parents loved tteok and it just so happened that you knew how to make it. God knew you needed this. You needed something to make them like you right away and you just couldn’t mess up. That’s what you kept telling yourself anyway. 
Jeno thought differently though, his logic was since he loved you, of course they would too but you were too smart to believe that old line though, knowing parents were extremely tricky. Especially mothers. 
The moment you knocked, the door flew open, giving you no time to shoo Jeno’s hand away again when it flew back to your butt, only this time it was underneath your skirt. Forcing a smile anyway, you came face to face with a middle-aged woman who already had her eye on him, “Jeno, my little baby boy.” She cooed brightly as she reached out to hug him. 
As he moved from behind you, he drug his hand across your ass, causing the fabric of your skirt to lift up quite a bit. “I’m 21 years old, mom,” he said, huffing a little before moving in to hug her while you bolted to pull your skirt back down, still struggling to keep that glass dish in your grip at the same time. 
In a matter of minutes, a man appeared beside Jeno’s mom who you assumed to be his dad, “There he is,” he smiled proudly as you stood there awkwardly, letting them all have their little family moment before all eyes were on you. 
“And you must be Y/N,” His mom said while smiling at you, “We’ve heard so much about you.” 
You only nodded mindlessly before you felt a light pat on your ass, bringing you back to reality. “Oh…uh, yeah… this is for you.” You said, handing her the rice cake as her face lit up instantly once she pulled the foil back and realised what it was. 
“Look, honey,” she said softly, before showing it to her husband, “She brought us tteok.” 
His father gave it a whiff, inhaling it deeply. “Mmh, this smells delicious,” he said before smiling at Jeno, “She’s definitely a keeper.” He joked. 
You laughed along with them, but you weren’t really listening to what was going on as you were just glad they liked you so far and you wanted to keep it that way, which was why the moment they invited you inside, you quickly slapped Jeno’s hand away again.
Leading you into the kitchen, while they talked to their son about something or another, you tried your best to force yourself to pay attention, but you couldn’t. You were only able to take in your surroundings and smile at them whenever someone seemed to make a joke, but you quickly came back to your senses once you noticed them leave. 
“Wait, where are they going?” You questioned, clearly alarmed by the sight. 
Jeno grinned back at you, teasingly. “Weren’t you listening? They’re just going upstairs for a bit, they forgot something.” He began, using air quotes around the words ‘forgot something.’ “They aren’t very good liars, I bet they’re probably going upstairs to talk about you.” He said with a shake of his head before taking his eyes off of you. 
You watched as he stared at an empty spot in the kitchen, and you were about to ask him what he was looking at, but as soon as you opened your mouth, you heard a creak coming from the direction in which his parents went and just like that, he was back. His lips were attached to yours, tongues tangled and teeth carelessly thrown in. You couldn’t even breathe until you finally forced him away by his shoulders, “Jeno,” You breathed out. “What’s wrong with you?” 
He didn’t respond right away, he only picked you up quickly before plopping you down on the counter you’d been standing in front of, his arms trapping you where he put you. “Baby, I can’t believe you wore that skirt.” He muttered as he buried his face in your neck, stopping momentarily to nip and suck at the flesh there. “You know I hate it…it’s fucking killing me.” 
You tried to regulate your breathing as you pushed him back again, knowing what he meant by that, you knew all too well. By saying he ‘hated it’, he really meant he loved it… like really loved it. You did know this, but you weren’t thinking about that when you put it on, merely thinking about how hot it was outside and how this was the only skirt you could find yourself comfortable in.
It wasn’t even as bad as you’d think, Jeno just had a dirty mind… he could take the most innocent things and make them seem wrong and dirty, take eating in his parents’ kitchen for example. You didn’t know it then, but that was at the top of his list. 
You immediately jumped from the counter the moment you heard a loud bump come from a room above you, but he just stayed where he was, causing you to be pushed painfully close to him and the bulge growing in his jeans. He closed his eyes as you tried to wiggle away from him, but as you could probably imagine, that didn’t work out too well. “Mmmh, shit,” he moaned as the muscles in his arms bulged and he brought one of them down from the counter to rest in between your thighs, cupping you. “Y/N, you’re so ready…I can feel you through these.” He whispered against your lips as his fingers pressed up against you, succeeding in their plan to make you wetter. 
You withered in response before trying to push him away one last time, your need to stop him receding slowly. “Baby, we’re in your parents’ kitchen.” You muttered, squeaking softly, trying to push his arm away with both of your hands, but he just kept pressing those fingers into your core. 
“That’s what makes it so naughty.” He whispered against your neck before his mouth wound up back against yours. “I know you need this just as much as I do…I know you’re just aching to feel my fingers stretch you out again. Tell me that’s what you want.” He ordered, lips kissing the outer rim of your ear between words. 
That was it, you knew you needed it from the moment he stopped talking. 
So without another word, you pulled yourself back up onto the counter as his eyes watched you, lust-filled and wide, your hand bumping into the glass baking container his parents had placed there just moments before.
“Hurry up.” You moaned softly, opening your legs for him and practically seeing his mouth watering as he returned to his original position with his arms on either side of you.
He pressed his hard bulge that had grown an astonishing amount against you again and proceeded in grinding against your wet core for a few brief moments, bringing you both the pleasure you knew you needed.
You moaned as he finally got down to business and brought one of his hands against you again to flick your panties to the side and out of his way. 
Jeno looked down, moaning loudly at the sight before using his thumb to rub sloppy circles around your clit and adding pressure. “You feel so good, baby…so wet.” He whispered against your heated skin. “You like that?”
You buried your head in his neck to muffle the moans that threatened to fall from your lips and he just rubbed harder, before starting to test and experiment what he thought you liked best, pinching lightly and rolling it between his two fingers.
It wasn’t long at all before you began rolling your hips in sync with his movements, trying desperately to hump his palm for all that it was worth, but it was his words that got you. 
“You’re such a bad girl,” he growled, clearly just as turned on as you were at the moment. “Such a little slut for me. What if my parents came back right this minute…you wouldn’t stop would you? You’d just keep riding my hand like the whore you are, wouldn’t you baby?” You heard him groan as he shoved two of his thick fingers into your tight pussy without waiting for a reply, they were nothing like his cock, but they would have to do for now, you thought to yourself. “You love being my little slut, huh?” You moaned as you could feel them curling as he started searching for your spot, the one that drove you crazy, and just as his fingertips brushed it, he started speaking again. 
“Just pretend it’s my hard dick, baby,” he moaned. “You can ride it harder than that, can’t you?” He challenged, shoving his fingers deeper just before inserting a third, determined to drive you wild as he began curving them in ways you didn’t even thought were possible and moaning dirty things into your ear. 
You felt strangely compelled to reach your climax after that, after hearing him refer to sex in such a blunt way for the first time. It was an odd thing, but it felt so fucking good, the fact that his parents were just upstairs was turning you on more than you could ever imagine. And the way he was moaning along with you turned you on even more.
“Fuck Jeno…more,” you grunted, closing your eyes tight, “K…Keep going…” you moaned, leaning your head back as you rested your weight on both of your arms once you felt it was safe to back away from him, once you knew you wouldn’t scream out loud. 
Feeling the clothing that was pressed against your thighs shift, you knew he was moving, probably to adjust himself, before he finally spoke again, that rough voice alerting your senses once again, “You like that?” he questioned, you could just hear the smirk in his voice. “You like it when I talk dirty?” 
You bit sharply on your lip, forcing yourself to hold back a gasp as his clothes brushed against your clit and you felt him leaning closer to you, “Let’s see how much you like me eating your soaking pussy,” he muttered just before you let out a strangled little noise of disapproval, after all, he had never done that before. It’s not that you didn’t want him too, you were just suddenly nervous.
“Don’t worry, baby, you’ll like it.” He assured you before you brought your head up just in time to see the amazing sight of him going down on you.
Jeno’s dark eyes stayed attached to your own as you pulled your skirt up higher in anticipation, giving him more access, and he smirked again, this time letting you see it, before he probed into you. 
You bit back a loud moan that rumbled in your chest as he wasted no time in forcing his tongue into you and tasting your sweet juices like a wild animal, the way his tongue seemed to be everywhere at once was driving you completely mental. You felt it brush against the spot inside of you as his thumb quickened against your clit again, then you felt them switch places in a matter of seconds.
His tongue began fondling your clit as his fingers returned to their rightful place where they filled you up, your hips went haywire as he started sucking on the small bundle of nerves. 
Then his eyes fell shut, his eyelashes resting against his cheeks as he moaned and groaned against your heat, sending countless vibrations to venture through you.
“J..Jeno…” you moaned, just barely above your breath as tremors racked your small body.
His tongue worked magic on your core as you writhed, tugging on his messy hair and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to hold back your release, if he kept going. 
“Cum for me sweetheart,” he took his mouth away to look up at you, smiling once again as his fingers helped massage you through your climax.
“Yeah, just like that baby girl,” he whispered, his smile fading with the pressure of his thumb. “Fuck, ride it out.”
“Jeno,” you whimpered, your legs trembling as you tried to hold yourself together. Your senses were heightened, every nerve in your body on fire and extra sensitive thanks to his expert touch. 
“Let go, Y/N, come for me.” Jeno cooed before his lips attached to your clit again. You let out a high pitched moan and his hand flew to cover your mouth, stifling the noises uncontrollably escaping you and allowing you to let yourself go utterly, to slip into another world for a moment. 
With a cry of his name you came, spilling yourself all over his tongue and fingers while he moaned in delight against your core. “Fuck, you look so beautiful right now.”
Electricity jolted in your entire body, reaching your head and toes making you shudder with pure bliss. 
After you felt your body relax against him as it collapsed against his shoulder, you heard him chuckle in your ear before he placed a kiss against it, “How was that?” He asked through light pants, brushing your hair back.
You leaned back to smile at him before you opened your mouth to speak, but it was then that you heard the creak from a few rooms over. 
Jeno’s hands immediately found your waist as he helped you jump off of the counter, pulling you in front of him just as you watched his parents come in through the entrance to the kitchen, smiling obliviously. 
“Hey,” Jeno muttered, taking his hands from your hips and wrapping his arms around your shoulders instead, trying to make it seem like his boner wasn’t stabbing you in the back, “What took you guys so long?”
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amorajae · 4 months ago
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PAIRING : Lee Jeno x Reader SUMMARY : When a system error at your new university’s residence leaves you to share a dorm with a hot male roommate, you find yourself in for more than just a sleepless night or two when you realize that he has a habit of walking around shirtless all the time. GENRE : smut, fluff, angst, university!AU, roommate!AU, roommate!Jeno, friends with benefits. WARNINGS : sexual content (making out, handjobs, blowjobs, fingering, oral sex, mentions of vaginal sex, mentions of public sex), partying/drinking, alcohol, swearing. WORD COUNT : 12.2k
AUTHOR’S NOTE : Some of you may recognize a scene in this story from a drabble that I’ve previously written, but many people wanted to see a continuation of it, so I’ve turned it into full work. Thanks again to the anon that came up with original idea for the drabble!
TAGLIST : @navoeur​​ @qianinterprises​​ @unknown5tar​​
Masterlist / Be added to my general taglist!
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The first days of coming to a new university were always the most stressful – getting to know your way around a campus full of people that you’d never seen before, buildings scattered across a large area of space and containing classrooms with numbers that you could never remember, trying to memorize your schedule without being that one annoying person in the hallway who walks too slow because they’re staring at the campus map on their phone. There were many things that could go wrong during the first days, especially when you had no idea where you were and what was going on.
But out of all the things that could go wrong, you hadn’t been expecting this.
“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do to change the rooms. Everything’s been put in the system already and any that would’ve been available have been taken already.”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair several times as you tried to calm down. Moving into the dorms was meant to be one of the easier parts, one of the things that you weren't meant to stress over. You just had the bad luck of being the one person in the system who was destined to have everything fucked up for them.
“Is there nothing else you could possibly do?” you asked the receptionist.
She shook her head. “I wish there was, but all of the single-person rooms were taken during registration. I understand your frustration, especially after what you’ve told me about rooming with other people, but if you want to be staying on campus, your only option is to share a dorm with someone.”
You absolutely didn’t want to share a dorm with anyone but yourself. The past two years at your old university had been spent constantly wearing headphones to block out the noise of your roommate and dealing with ungodly sounds in the middle of the night while you’d been trying to sleep. Parties, guests, drinking – you’d never been to get a break from it, but you weren’t from the city that your school was located in and staying at home hadn’t been an option. You were from a rural town two hours away and there just hadn’t been any way that you could’ve travelled the distance every day by car. In the end, you’d managed to stick it out somehow and decided that even though you were switching universities, you were never going to room with another person again if you could help it.
Clearly, you couldn’t this time.
“What I can do is put you with someone that matches your profile,” the receptionist explained. “He also prefers a quiet environment and probably won’t be the type to be bringing people over at three in the morning. You’ll be sharing a dorm with him, but the space itself will be big for the two of you.”
“Wait,” you frowned. “Did you say ‘he’?”
She nodded. “This person is a male, goes by the name of Lee Jeno. He’s an international student from Korea, his major is in dance and he knows how to cook.”
“He knows how to cook?”
“It’s what it says here. I guess it’s important to him if he added it in. Do you know how to cook?”
“Not really.”
“Then he could probably teach you if you asked.”
Taking off her glasses, she let them hang loosely on the cord around her neck as she looked up at you. “I know that it’s not the most ideal arrangement, but it’s the only thing that I currently have to offer. You’ve already paid your deposit for a spot in residence, so an exception can be made to have you room with Jeno since the school doesn’t normally allow the mixing of genders as roommates.”
You pondered the offer. She was right about it not being the most ideal arrangement, but this seemed like the only option you had. It was either agree or go somewhere else.
“I’ll do it,” you finally said after a while. “I’ll room with Jeno.”
She smiled. “Lovely! Let me get you set up in the system here and I’ll have a keycard ready for you.”
Five minutes later, you were dragging your luggage along with you to the elevator, pressing the button for the seventh floor. The ride up was short as you flipped the keycard over and over in your hand, staring at the words that were written on it. When the doors opened, you trudged down the hall to the final door on the right, tapping your card against the scanner and hearing it open with a click.
“Hello? Anyone home?” you called out, only to receive no response. Shrugging, you walked in and pulled your luggage along behind you, tossing the keycard on the counter and looking around. There was a pair of converse lying by the door and two jackets hung in the closet, but no sight of their owner.
The dorm was fairly large, as promised by the receptionist. The corridor led to a kitchen on the right, a small dining table located beside it and the living room on the other side. The windows faced the campus greens, which was a better sight than seeing the windows of another residence building. There were two bedrooms, both of which had their doors closed. You knocked on the first one, opening the door slightly to find that it was empty. The second was already occupied, which meant that your roommate must’ve moved in earlier than you and gotten set up. Closing the door, you went back to the first bedroom and began unpacking, slipping on a pair of headphones as you got to work.
A good hour and a half seemed to have passed by the time you finally managed to get everything ready in your room. You’d moved the bed away from the window and placed the desk in front of it, opening the blinds for some sunlight and fresh air as the rest of your clothes went into the closet. It wasn’t your bedroom at home, but it would have to do. Tucking away your suitcase, you looked around one final time before placing your hand on the door handle and going back into the main living space.
What you’d failed to notice, however, was the sight of a man standing shirtless in a pair of sweatpants and wet hair, his eyes widening at the sudden appearance of a random stranger in his dorm.
“Can I help you?”
The first time he said it, you didn’t hear him because you were still wearing headphones. The second and third time, you could’ve sworn that there was something strange in the song that you’d never heard before, but you ignored it. It wasn’t until he put his hand on your arm that you flinched and whipped around, heart racing at the sight of someone standing so close to you.
For a moment, none of you moved.
“I’m sorry, but who are you?” he asked, a bewildered expression on his face.
You blinked. “I… live here?”
He frowned. “You live here?”
“Y-yeah, this is my dorm. Who are you?”
“I live here too.”
The lightbulb suddenly turned on in your brain once the words had left his mouth. “Oh, right! Sorry, it's been somewhat of a long day."
He continued to stare. “I’m still confused.”
“I’m your new roommate,” you explained. “I was supposed to get a single room and be by myself, but there was a problem in the system and they didn’t manage to reserve one for me. The receptionist said that she could put me to room with you because you were similar in terms of preferences for a roommate.”
“… I wasn’t aware of that.”
“Well, neither was I until today,” you said. “You’re Jeno, right?”
“Yeah,” he replied, extending a hand. “I’m Jeno. How did you know my name?”
“The receptionist told me.”
“Oh, right.”
The two of you awkwardly continued to stand around until you motioned towards the kitchen. “I’ll, uh, continue getting unpacked, if that’s fine with you.”
“I-yeah, sorry,” he said, stepping aside. “I should probably go put on a shirt or something.”
Right, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Your eyes automatically flickered to his taut chest, only to avert your gaze to the side as you cleared your throat. He patted his bangs down before turning around and heading in the direction of his room, closing the door a little louder than you’d expected.
Well, that went well, you thought to yourself. First day and I’ve already seen more of his body than I have his face.
At least he’s hot, a voice in your head suddenly chimed in.
He’s attractive, admit it. Anyone would think he’s good-looking.
Brain, stop it. He’s my roommate, not eye candy.
Exactly, he’s your roommate. You know what you can do with hot roommates, right?
Fuck off, brain.
I can’t. I’m in your head, remember? Are you starting to lose it?
Maybe you were starting to lose it.
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One month living with Lee Jeno and you were definitely losing it.
You see, Jeno was the perfect roommate in many ways. He was quiet and didn’t bring friends over at random hours of the night. The two of you shared a bathroom together, but he always knocked if he needed something and he didn’t leave his things lying around like your previous roommate had. Whenever he cooked, he always made sure to clean up the kitchen and even made extra for you to eat as well, which was probably thanks to him witnessing your failed attempts at making anything other than quick snacks and microwave dinners. If he was studying in the living room, you were quiet and didn’t make noise. If you were studying in the living room, he was quiet and didn’t make noise. Occasionally, the two of you would find yourselves watching whatever was on the television together, most often a show or series that he enjoyed. You learned that he adored watching ‘The Penthouse’, keeping up religiously with the episodes whenever new ones were released. He had a good sense of humour, although awkward at times, but you still laughed at his jokes because they were funny in a special kind of way. Even after long days of lectures and staying late in the commons to do work, it didn’t feel tedious to come back to him like it had with your previous roommate. 
Everything about Jeno was perfect, except for his habit of walking around partially naked.
You’d chalked it down to his tendencies to come back from classes with less clothing than you’d seen him leave in. Being a dance major, it was obvious that he would have practices and rehearsals in addition to his studies in music, but he also liked to go to the gym and whenever he decided to wear anything sleeveless, you had to force yourself to look away. In the mornings, he would walk into the kitchen with messy hair and half-closed eyes, fumbling around with the coffee machine and leaning against the counter as he drank it, only to realize that you were eating breakfast already and he was once again shirtless. The first couple of times, you’d ignored it, but then it became harder and harder to ignore as your gaze would linger, eyes tracing the well-sculpted muscles that he seemed to work so hard for.
By the end of the second month, you’d come to the conclusion that he was doing it on purpose to see you suffer and there was nothing you could do about it but scream into your pillow, hoping that he wouldn’t hear from his room.
(Actually, that’s wrong. He did hear you one night and had come to knock on your door because he’d been concerned that you were being possessed by something and needed help. You’d reassured him that yes, you were indeed alright and no, you weren’t in need of an exorcism. It wasn’t until you’d heard his door close that you’d decided that you were going to need a new coping strategy.)
By the third month, you were in a state of calm that genuinely made you concerned. Gone were the days of being a panicked mess around Jeno – now, he could be as shirtless as he wanted to and you wouldn’t blink an eye. The solution? Train yourself to stare at something that wasn’t his chest. It was through this solution that you’d realized how much you struggled with eye contact when it came to talking to a person. Your eyes would constantly be moving to places other than their face and when it was Jeno, they would linger in places they weren’t supposed to. He never seemed to comment on it, keeping the conversation as natural and neutral as possible, but there was a sense of satisfaction that came with having conquered this small task. It was probably also due to the fact that you’d accepted his habits and were no longer fazed by them, making it much easier to interact with him without feeling as if you were being a creep.
One such example was a moment like now, where the two of you were sitting in the living room together, studying for your mid-term exams that were beginning in three days. As usual, he was shirtless and in a pair of black joggers, while you were dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants. Music was playing from one of the many speakers he had lying around the dorm, neither too loud nor quiet, but just the right volume to keep you focused while you read over your notes. He was eating from a bag of chips, occasionally passing them over to you whenever he had to write something down. Two cups of coffee were somewhere amidst the stacks of textbooks and papers.
“I’m literally so sick of this,” you heard him mutter, followed by the sound of a book being closed.
You snorted. “It’s dance, Jeno. Much easier than psychology and behavioural therapy. I’m literally drowning in pages and pages of theory that won’t even come into play until I talk to someone.”
“Oh, really?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Okay, how about I see you name every single genre that’s ever existed in the history of dance? And the inventors? How about the specific dates during which they originated?”
“No thanks, I’m good.”
“Thought so, nerd.”
Reaching for a pillow, you chucked it at him. He let out a grunt as it hit him square in the chest, giving you an affronted look as you rolled your eyes at his reaction.
“That was rude,” he grumbled.
“Deal with it,” you shot back, flipping the page of the textbook you were currently skimming through.
“No thanks, I’m good.”
And then the pillow smacked you directly in the face, making you fall backwards as Jeno laughed.
“Alright, I see how it is,” you said, putting the pillow back where it'd come from. “Call it even.”
He grinned before grabbing his cup of coffee and draining whatever was left, then standing up. Peeking over to your cup, he wordlessly motioned towards it with his eyes. You nodded, understanding his silent question of ‘do you want more coffee?’ as he took the cup and went into the kitchen, leaving you to rub at your eyes tiredly. It was nearly midnight, but you still had another three chapters to cover before you were sure that you could call it a night.
“Hey, I have a question,” Jeno suddenly said.
You turned to look at him. “What’s up?”
“My, uh, friend has someone that he likes, but he isn’t sure how to go about telling her. I thought that maybe you might’ve learned something that might help make it easier for him, since romantic feelings aren’t exactly his forte. It’s not that he’s bad with talking to girls – he just doesn’t get the chance to properly talk to many without them seeing him as just another hot guy, you know?”
“Ahh, the classic dilemma of to confess or not to confess,” you sighed, a smile on your face. “I don’t think that we’ve covered anything exactly related to a scenario like this, but I could probably come up with something. Want to write it down so that you don’t forget?”
“It’s fine, I have a good memory,” he replied, tapping a finger against the side of his head.
“Well,” you began. “For starters, your friend should be clear with himself what exactly he’s expecting from this girl if she says yes to his confession. Does he want to date her and possibly have a future with her? Or is he simply confessing because he’s too in love and isn’t thinking logically?”
“He definitely wants to date her,” he said. “Like there’s no doubt about it.”
You nodded. “Okay, good. Is he mentally and emotionally prepared to handle being rejected if it doesn’t work out?”
“I a-I mean, he is. Yeah, he’s fully prepared for it.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m a hundred percent positive.”
“If he feels like he’s ready, then he should be smart about how and when he does it,” you continued. “Reading her body language to get an understanding of how she’s feeling in the moment that he chooses to confess is going to be crucial. If she looks like she’s enjoying herself and in a good mood, that’s a green light. If she’s looking like she might be tired, angry, upset, anything that isn’t happy, then it’s a red light. People are more likely to react in positive ways to unexpected situations when they’re not feeling as if they want to rip someone’s head off.”
“Read her body language, make sure she’s in a good mood,” he repeated.
“Exactly. Your friend doesn’t want to come off as too pushy or insistent that he receive an answer once he actually expresses his feelings. The more he continues to push and prod, the less she’s going to be inclined to tell him how she feels. It’ll make her want to retreat to a safe space and be as far away from him as she can, which is the opposite of what he’s trying to achieve.”
“And what about location?”
You paused to think for a moment. “Places that aren’t crowded with people or noise usually work well. Keep in mind that if there are people around, there are most likely going to be eyes watching, so the less outside pressure that she feels, the more comfortable she’ll be in the situation. Maybe going on a walk by the river or in the park might work. A coffee shop or another date spot isn’t bad either, but it all depends on how busy it is. Most people tend to have a decent judgement about when the right time is to reveal something like this to a potential partner, so your friend will just have to use his brain.”
Jeno shut off the coffee machine and returned to the living room, handing you one of the cups as you thanked him. He sat down, taking a sip before placing the cup on the table and leaning back on his hands, legs crossed in front of him.
"I just hope that it works out for him," he said, something like a wistful tone entering his voice.
"You must really care for this guy," you teased. "Almost making it sound like you're the one doing the confessing."
He grinned sheepishly. "I guess it does sound that way. He just deserves someone to be happy with. I've known him since we were kids and he was always surrounded by girls, even in elementary school."
"That attractive, huh?"
"It was the only thing they saw about him, sadly. Every girl always wanted to date him until they realized that he wasn't going to settle for someone who wanted him purely based on looks. I mean, he's allergic to cats and still had three of them because he loved them so much. He wants someone who can appreciate something like that rather than treating him like he's just another guy on the list."
“As long as he uses his brain and doesn't try to rush things, he'll be fine,” you reassured him.
“Thanks for the advice, I'll tell him tomorrow when I see him,” he replied. “I'm actually going to head over to my room to go over some music theory stuff because I just remembered that my professor mentioned something about it on the exam and I don't want to make any noise here.”
You raised an eyebrow at him as he began packing up his papers. “I thought you said you had a good memory?”
“Not when it comes to school,” he huffed. “Don't stay up too late, alright? You better be in bed by the next hour or else I'm not sharing the snacks my mom sends from overseas.”
“You wouldn't dare,” you gasped.
He winked. “Try me.”
You reached for the pillow once more, throwing it in his direction as he dodged it and slipped into his room. Before he entirely disappeared from sight, his head peeked out from behind the door.
“You're picking that up, not me!”
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“I’m bringing a girl over tonight.”
The spoon that was in your hand dropped onto the counter, making you jump as the sound of metal hitting granite made you flinch. You picked it up quickly, hastily shoving it into your bowl as you looked up at your roommate.
Jeno had never mentioned a girl in the four months that you’d been living with him.
“What time?” you asked nonchalantly, keeping your voice neutral and uninquisitive.
“Probably around nine or ten,” Jeno answered, hands in the pockets of his jeans. “If that’s alright with you.”
You nodded. “That’s fine, I’ll be out of your way.”
He frowned. “You don’t have to leave if you don’t w-”
“I’ve had mixed experiences with roommates who’ve brought people over to fuck in the past, so I’d rather just not be here if that’s what you two are going to be doing,” you said, cutting him off. “I’ll crash at a friend’s dorm or something.”
“Oh, okay.”
The kitchen was suddenly filled with an awkward silence as you continued to stir your oatmeal and he stood by the fridge, neither of you saying anything. You sensed him moving behind you, the cabinet opening as he grabbed what was presumably a plate or a mug, but you didn’t turn around to check. Bringing the spoon up to your lips, you began eating, paying no attention to Jeno as he shuffled around. At one point, he banged his elbow on the corner of the counter, letting out a groan of pain as your eyes went to him immediately.
“You okay?” you questioned.
He winced. “Yeah, just hit my elbow. I’ll be fine.”
Taking his plate, he placed it in the microwave while you continued to eat. A sudden craving for an orange made you turn around to reach for the fruit bowl, but you weren’t expecting for your hand to come in contact with his, fingers brushing as the two of you grabbed the same fruit.
“Sorry,” you apologized, pulling your hand back.
He shook his head. “No, it’s fine. You have it.”
“I can just grab another one. You take it.”
“No, it’s yours.”
“Jeno, take the fucking orange, for god’s sake,” you snapped at him, shoving the fruit into his hand.
His eyes widened at your change in tone as you averted your gaze. Embarrassed by how easily you’d lost your temper over something as simple as an orange, you grabbed your bowl and left the kitchen, heading into your room and closing the door. Placing it on the desk, you sat down and opened your laptop, only to stare at the welcome screen without moving.
What had gotten into you this morning? You were never this annoyed with your roommate, even when he would forget to separate the lights from the darks when it came to laundry day and you had to do it instead because it was easier to wash both of your clothes together rather than separately. The two of you had surprisingly never had a reason to fight, but this was the first time you’d allowed yourself to get angry at him.
But for what?
I’m bringing a girl over tonight.
No, that couldn’t be it. Why would you care if he was bringing someone over? It wasn't like the two of you were dating or in a relationship. He was single, you were single, so there wasn’t supposed to be a problem. Besides, he was a grown man and could make his own decisions – he didn’t need you to make them for him. It’s probably just the stress from that group project, you thought as you typed in the password to your laptop, the screen flickering as it revealed the essay portion of the assignment that you’d been working on the night before. Your group had been assigned a difficult topic for something that was worth forty percent of your final grade and with only two weeks left to finish it, every second was crucial. Two weeks to a university student felt more like two days sometimes and it seemed as if that’s exactly what it was turning into. With a sigh, you forced the encounter with Jeno out of your mind as you began typing.
Later that night, you found yourself standing in front of a door that led to a dorm room that wasn’t yours, a bag slung over your shoulder and your phone in hand. Raising a hand, you knocked on the door, only for it to open and reveal a very confused Mark Lee in a pair of flannel pajamas, a pair of headphones around his neck.
“Hey, wh-”
“I’m crashing at your place for the night.”
“I was sexiled.”
His eyes went wide. “You were what?”
“Sexiled, Mark,” you repeated. “Jeno’s bringing some girl over and the last thing I want to be hearing is a bed squeaking for hours, so I’m staying here.”
“Jeno has a girl over?”
Rolling your eyes, you pushed past Mark and into his dorm, heading straight for his bedroom to drop your bag off. This wasn’t the first time you’d come here, since the music major was one of your closest friends since childhood and you’d been happy to reunite with him after switching universities. He was a little scatterbrained at times, his head constantly filled with songs and lyrics that could have him spending hours locked up in his room and in front of a keyboard, but he was an enjoyable and fun person to be around, his quirky sense of humour having cheered you up during some of your darkest moments.
“I brought food,” you called, searching for the bag of snacks that you’d brought along.
Mark appeared in the doorway. “What did you bring?”
“A shit ton of chocolate and some alcohol.”
Tossing him a bottle of soju, you popped the cap open on another bottle, raising it in a quick toast before taking a sip. The taste wasn’t ideal, but it was the only thing that Jeno had in the dorm and he was kind enough to share it, so you weren’t going to complain. You walked over to the couch, laying down on it as Mark joined you with the bars of chocolate in hand.
“So, Jeno actually kicked you out?” he asked once he was seated.
“I kicked myself out,” you corrected him. “I’d rather not be there while they’re fucking or whatever.”
Mark sighed. “Lucky guy.”
You glanced at him amusedly before taking another gulp of soju. “Good on him for having a sex life though. He’s doing much better than us in that department.”
“You didn’t have to bring it up,” he muttered.
“What, that you’re not getting any?”
“Rub it in, will you?”
He grabbed the remote and turned on the television, browsing through the channels as you sat and drank. The sounds of a basketball match soon filled the living room and the two of you found yourselves watching the game without saying much, your attention focused on the score. After a while, you went to grab another two bottles of soju, the first ones already empty and left on the coffee table. You weren’t really a heavy drinker and two was probably going to be your limit, so Mark could have the rest.
“You know, there’s something about you that’s different today,” he commented, looking at you with narrowed eyes. “I can’t quite place my finger on it, but I feel like it has to do with Jeno having a girl over.”
You snorted. “And why would I be bothered about that?”
Mark shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because you have feelings for him or something?”
His words made you burst into a bout of laughter, clutching your soju bottle tightly as he stared at with a confused expression. You, have feelings for Jeno? There was absolutely no way. He was your hot roommate, someone that was entirely off limits to you because the two of you lived together and the last thing you wanted was another series of awkward confrontations like the one this morning.
“That was a good joke,” you said, patting your friend on the shoulder. “When did you become a comedian?”
He glared at you. “I’m being serious, okay?”
“So am I.”
“Look,” he said. “You’ve been living with him for the past four months, right? Someone as attractive as him happens to be single, doesn’t have a girlfriend and based on what you’ve told me, he’s been pretty open to talking about anything related to relationships. Hell, he even walks around shirtless and you’re perfectly fine with that. There’s no way that there can’t be something between you two.”
It was his turn to place a hand on your shoulder, a knowing grin on his face.
“I think you have a crush on Jeno and you’re just refusing to admit it.”
“Stop messing around,” you scoffed, pushing his hand away. “I don’t like him like that. He’s my roommate, for fuck’s sake.”
“Then why are you so defensive about it?” he shot back. “If you don’t like him, why get so annoyed about him bringing a girl over that isn’t you?”
You opened your mouth to respond, but there was nothing you could say that would counter the truth in Mark’s words. He gave you a smug glance as you drank your soju in silence, turning back to the basketball match and letting out a hoot when the team he was cheering for scored.
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“Stupid elevator! Why won’t you work?”
Frustrated, you pressed the button on the wall several times, only to have no response from the metal cage as you waited impatiently. It was seven in the evening, your final class having finished for the day and leaving you utterly exhausted. It seemed to be just your luck that renovations were being done in the building and the stairwell was being repainted, so you had to rely solely on the elevator to get in and out. After what seemed like an eternity, there was a ding and the doors opened, allowing you to enter as you let out a sigh of relief. Pressing the button for the seventh floor, it began moving upwards, the music that was meant to soothe your nerves doing absolutely nothing to help calm you down.
Fishing your keycard out of your bag, you heard the telltale click of the door to the dorm unlocking and you stepped past the threshold, dumping your bag on the floor and shoes by the doorway as you jogged over to the couch and flopped onto it. The exhaustion from your body felt like it’d been weighing you down, but the second you closed your eyes and your breathing slowed, you were starting to feel your energy return. The dorm was quiet – perfect for a nap.
Speaking of quiet, was Jeno even home?
You sat up and looked over to the door, seeing your roommate’s usual pair of converse. Listening carefully, you tried to pick up any sounds that would indicate where exactly he was, but you heard nothing. The two of you had agreed to avoid calling each other’s names randomly in case the other was doing something important or was sleeping (you’d woken him up twice by accident and felt bad ever since), but there was a nagging curiosity that was itching at you to find him.
And then that’s when you heard it – the faint sound of your name being called.
And again.
And again.
Jeno’s door was partially open, despite the fact that he usually kept it closed whenever he was doing homework or just wasn’t in the dorm at all. You listened carefully, hearing the sound once more from the direction of his bedroom. As quietly as you could, you stood up from the couch and walked over to the wall beside the door, leaning against it as you were hidden from sight. The sound of your name was getting louder with each second and as you finally risked a curious peek, you froze at the sight that greeted you.
Your roommate was lying on his bed, his sculpted body on display with his hand wrapped around his cock, his other hand gripping the sheets tightly and your name flowing from his lips like a holy mantra. You knew you had to look away, but you couldn’t help the heat that crept up the back of your neck and warmed your face, your eyes trained on the way that his biceps flexed during every stroke, the twitch of his body as he neared the tip, the baritone groans that filled the room as he masturbated. Feeling your heart start to pound even more at sight of someone so unbearably attractive being aroused by the thought of you, you accidentally leaned your weight against the door as it creaked loudly, making you stiffen in place as Jeno’s eyes snapped open.
Ah, fuck, you thought to yourself as the two of you stared at each other.
“Uh… hi?” you managed to say amidst the awkward silence.
Rather than covering himself, your roommate propped his body up onto his elbows, raising an eyebrow in question.
“I was, um,” you stammered. “I, uh, should probably go? Y-yeah, I’ll g-”
“You can touch it if you want.”
His gaze was curious, almost challenging as you took one look at his length resting against his stomach and then back up to his face. You weren’t sure what prompted you to walk forwards, but you closed the door to the bedroom as you made your way over to his bed, standing nervously at the side. His wrist shot out to grab yours, pulling you onto his lap with a yelp as you lost your balance. Guiding your hand to rest on top of his length, you felt your heartbeat speed up, the butterflies in your stomach suddenly starting to fly a little faster as you panicked internally.
“Touch me,” Jeno ordered, his voice steady as you swallowed.
He leaned forwards until his nose was almost brushing the tip of yours.
“Touch. Me.”
With his hand on top of yours, he started to move your palm up and down the length of his cock, fingers wrapped around the girth as your eyes fell to your connected hands. When he was satisfied with the pace, he took his hand off, leaving you to stroke him as you forced yourself to relax your wrist. Running your thumb against the slit of his tip, you heard him let out a groan as he grabbed a handful of the bedsheets, his hips bucking into your hand involuntarily at the feeling.
With a burst of confidence, you scooted backwards until you were at eye-level with his cock, placing a kitten lick on the tip as it twitched in your hands. He looked down at you, eyes filled with lust and lips slightly parted as you took him into your mouth, relaxing your jaw as your tongue rested heavily against his underside. What you couldn’t get in your mouth was dealt with by your hands as they trailed down to his balls and massaged them gently, prompting a series of curses that sent a shiver up your spine, the sound of the profanity rolling so effortlessly off of his tongue. It’d been a while since you’d done anything remotely close to this, so you could immediately feel the lack of practice starting to show as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes from the effort of trying to keep him in your mouth.
“I’m getting… close…” he moaned out after a particularly hard suck against his tip. It was getting harder and harder for him to stay still, so you let him gently fuck your mouth until the salty taste of cum landed on your tongue. His cock twitched several times as he emptied himself into your waiting mouth, with you breathing steadily through your nose until he was finished and you could swallow. Wiping a hand over your lips, you sat back on your heels and looked at him, his pupils blown as he panted heavily to catch his breath.
“That… that was…” he began.
“Good?” you offered hopefully.
“Yeah, good. Really good actually… fuck.”
Tucking his softening length back into his sweatpants, he sat up slowly and ran a hand through his hair.
“I’m, uh, sorry about all of this,” he said bashfully. “I probably should’ve closed my door or something. I didn’t even know that you were home.”
You gave him a smile. “It’s fine, I’m not disgusted or anything. I just heard my name being called from somewhere and I wanted to know where it was coming from.”
“I doubt seeing your roommate jack off to you was what you expected to find, right?”
“Well, uh, I actually had no idea that you found me attractive at all, since you brought that girl over a couple of times and-”
“She was just a distraction,” he interrupted. “I thought you were attractive on the first day that you walked in, but I didn’t want to do anything that would make things awkward because we were rooming together.”
“Oh, I see.”
There was silence as you pondered his words and he tried to come up with something to say.
“So,” he said after a while, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “I guess you now know that I’m obviously sexually attracted to you.”
“Yeah,” you replied. “I wasn’t planning on saying anything for a while, but I guess my secret’s out of the bag too.”
“If you want, we can keep doing this and see where it goes.”
You blinked. “You want us to make hooking up a regular thing?”
He shrugged. “Only if you want to. That girl and I cut things off because she went back to her ex, which means that I haven’t been with anyone in a while. If I recall correctly, you’re not seeing anyone either.”
Well, it’s not like he had to call you out on your lack of sex life, but maybe you did need to get laid more often.
“Sure,” you decided. “Benefits the both of us.”
Jeno grinned. “Cool. One condition though.”
“And what’s that?”
He held out his pinky to you. “On the condition that none of us catches feelings for the other and if we do, we break it off until we properly talk about it.”
You felt your heart drop a little, but you managed to keep the reaction off of your face as you lifted your hand to meet his. “You have a deal.”
Solidifying the promise, you squeezed your pinky around his until he pulled away, letting you know that he was going to take a shower. You nodded, leaving his room and heading into your own. Closing the door, you slumped onto the bed, your mind whirling as you mulled over what had just happened.
I think you have a crush on Jeno and you’re just refusing to admit it.
It’s a little too late for that, you thought, remembering Mark’s words. Instead of dealing with your feelings properly, you’d done the one thing that now stopped you from confessing to Jeno. You were going to have to pretend as if you felt nothing for him for the sake of whatever you two were going to become, essentially shoving everything your brain screamed at you to do away in favour of making this work.
No feelings… you could probably do it.
No, wait, you definitely could do it.
But what if you can’t?
You shook your head. Not going to happen, brain. Jeno and I are going to have a strictly sexual relationship that won’t interfere with our lives as roommates. No romantic feelings, no lovey-dovey shit, nothing.
You could do it.
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Libraries were supposed to be the places where all knowledge was kept, the places where you would find any and everything that you could think of. They were meant to be the solution to one’s endless search for wisdom, yet your search seemed to be annoyingly never-ending as you moved from row to row, your patience starting to wear thin.
“Behavioural therapy… behavioural therapy… why are there no books on this damn major?” you grumbled, your head tilted sideways to read the spines of the books, only to be disappointed when none of them resembled what you were looking for.
Jeno’s voice suddenly sounded in your ear as you flinched, jumping back in surprise and clutching at your chest to calm your racing heart. A mischievous grin was planted on his face as you shot him a glare, smacking his arm with your hand as he winced.
“Jesus christ, Jeno,” you said. “You scared the fuck out of me.”
“Everyone needs a good heart attack or two in their lives,” he said smugly.
“I’ll give you a heart attack for real someday,” you muttered under your breath.
“Nothing. What are you doing here?”
He tucked his hands into his pockets, following you as you moved into another row to continue your search. “I had to return a book that I borrowed a while back.”
You raised an eyebrow. “The dance major knows how to read?”
“Of course I do. I’m not an idiot.”
“I meant reading things other than textbooks.”
“I was one of the best readers in my first grade class,” he boasted. “You’re talking to a professional here.”
“… right, and how far did that get you in your professional reading career?” you teased.
He chuckled. “Decently far actually. I really liked space novels when I was younger, but I don’t read them as much anymore. Most of them were turned into movies, so it’s easier to watch the movie than read the book all over again.”
“I haven’t watched a movie in a while,” you sighed. “I can’t really pay attention during them because I keep thinking of other things to do.”
“We should definitely watch ‘Interstellar’,” he said, leaning against one of the shelves. “It's sciencey enough to keep you interested without making you bored. Trust me, you’ll like it.”
“I don’t think I’m doing anything tomorrow night, maybe we could watch it then?”
He nodded. “That’s a good idea. I was going to stop by the supermarket for some snacks anyways, so I can pick up popcorn while I’m there.”
By the time you had gotten to the final row, you still hadn’t found what you were looking for and you were starting to get frustrated, if your constant grumbling and sighing wasn’t enough of a sign. Jeno continued to watch amusedly, occasionally pulling out books and skimming through them before placing them back.
“I can’t believe that they don’t have a single bloody book on my fucking major,” you complained to him. “How does my professor expect us to have physical sources for next class when there’s nothing physical in the library?”
“You stress too much,” he said, coming up behind you and placing his hands on your shoulders. His fingers began to dig into your muscles, massaging them as you closed your eyes and let yourself relax. He was right – you did stress too much and it seemed to be taking a toll on your body as he worked on a knot that had formed.
“Is it against the rules to fuck in the library?” he suddenly said.
“Wh-ow! I was just asking!”
“We’re not fucking in the library of all places,” you hissed.
He smirked. “Who said anything about us fucking?”
You stared at him, feeling the heat creep onto your face as he broke into laughter, only to be shushed by several voices as he whispered an apology.
“There’s a quiet corner over there that no one ever goes to,” he said, voice low. “All you need to do is ask.”
A brush of a kiss was planted on your neck, followed by another and another as you found yourself allowing Jeno to trail his lips against your skin from behind. His right hand grabbed yours gently, pinkies linking together, your mind flashing with the memory of the agreement you’d made with him. You tilted your head to the side instinctively, feeling his teeth graze against a sensitive spot as he sucked on it, running his tongue over the bruise before kissing it once more.
“We’re going to get caught,” you murmured hesitantly. “And then everyone’s going to know that we were having sex.”
He chuckled, his lips now pressing a chaste kiss against your earlobe. “We won’t get caught if you keep quiet, which you seem to be pretty good at.”
Slowly, he pulled you in the direction of the corner by the hand, which true to his word, was empty when you arrived. There was a nook behind a larger bookshelf, which hid the two of you from sight as he pressed your back against it and molded his lips with yours.
This wasn’t your first time kissing Jeno, although you wished that the first would’ve been under different circumstances. You’d ended up in his bed two nights after walking in on him, the two of you having gotten somewhat drunk on soju and wondering what to do with so much spare time on a Friday night. Everything had been messy, from the kissing to the taking off of the clothes to the stumbling over to the bed and trying not to fall, but he’d repaid the favour and granted you your first orgasm in a very long time, swallowing your moans with his lips as he'd kissed your breath away.
Oh, how you wished that moment could’ve been experienced with him as your proper lover, not just someone who was conventionally accessible for sex.
Since then, the relationship between the pair of you had changed, but not in a dramatic sense – it was more of a lowkey change, where you would continue to live your lives normally, but there was sex thrown into the mix. Occasionally, you slept in his bed and other times, he would end up in yours, depending on which bedroom was closer. You couldn’t complain about being able to fuck your hot roommate, but there was always a guilty feeling that plagued you once he was asleep and you were still wide awake, staring at the ceiling until you finally managed to doze off.
His hands now roamed under your shirt, holding you firmly against him as he kissed along your jaw, drawing out a quiet sigh that made him grin.
“Remember, we don’t want to get caught,” he whispered.
“Then shut up and fuck me already,” you shot back, hand brushing against the bulge in his pants as his breath hitched, eyes narrowing at the challenge.
And fuck you he did, to the point where he was laughing at your limp as you walked in front of him and out the doors of the library, mortified by the fact that you could never look at the place the same again.
At least he was nice enough to cook dinner as an apology.
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You looked up, seeing a smiling Lucas as he stood in front you, a solo cup outstretched in his hand while the other held his own drink.
“Thanks, Xuxi,” you said, taking it and swirling it around before taking a sip. “What’s in this?”
“No idea, Taeyong mixed it and told me to give it to you.”
If Taeyong was mixing the drinks, it meant that you were safe. You knew the third-year marine biology major from your high school years and he’d always been the type of person that you could trust. As the leader of the frat house that the party you were at was being hosted by, he was known for being strongly against the use of party drugs in drinks, so when Mark had dragged you to the first party, he’d made sure to let you know that you could leave your drink with Taeyong and he wouldn’t let a single soul other than yourself touch it. God knows how many lives he’d saved by being so watchful over the people that came to his frat and you were thankful for his desire to make sure everyone made it out alive, or else he was going to have more than just a couple of drunk stragglers on his hands to deal with.
“So, did you come here alone?” Lucas asked curiously. “I don’t see Mark anywhere.”
“I’m here with Jeno and two of his friends,” you answered. “Mark had a family dinner for his sister’s birthday to go to, so he’s skipping this one.”
The man grinned. “Jeno, eh? That roommate of yours definitely seems to be popular tonight.”
He motioned with a tilt of his head towards a group of girls that had gathered around said roommate, some of them clinging to his arms as he laughed at another’s joke. Jaemin and Donghyuck joined him, drinks in hand as they let out a round of hollers, eventually dragging Jeno away for a round of beer pong.
“He sure is,” you said quietly, your heart constricting lightly in your chest as you tried to push the twinge of jealousy out of your mind.
“Want to go play?” he offered. “My usual partner is… actually, I don’t know where Xiaojun is at all. Probably dipped entirely.”
“Not a party person?”
“He normally likes these things, but he’s been pretty distracted lately by something and I have no idea what.”
“Sure, I can play a round or two,” you decided. “I’m not sure how good my aim is though.”
Lucas clinked his cup against yours. “If we lose, we’ll go down together.”
You smiled. “Sounds like a plan.”
The two of you made your way over to the table where Jeno and Jaemin had paired up against two other people that you didn’t recognize. It was clear that they were winning, their opponent’s having fewer cups standing on the table than they did. After a couple of minutes, the final cup was sunk and cheering was heard as they celebrated.
Lucas nudged you. “Our turn.”
As you stepped forwards with him, Jeno’s eyes landed on yours, immediately narrowing as they flickered between you and Lucas. You didn’t react, simply reaching for the stack of cups and beginning to arrange them, pouring shots of alcohol into each before placing the bottle aside and grabbing the orange ball.
“I didn’t know you played beer pong,” Jeno said.
You shrugged. “I do now.”
Handing the ball to Lucas, he closed one eye as his tongue peeked out from the corner of his mouth, his focus on the opposing cups as he took a shot and managed to sink one in. You patted him on the back, grinning as Jaemin downed the shot and threw the cup aside. Jeno raised an eyebrow, but you met his gaze with an innocent smile as Lucas scored another point. He missed on the third, tossing the ball over to your roommate as he caught it in his hands.
“Don’t miss,” you teased.
The ball sailed over the table and into one of the cups on your side. He flashed you a smug grin as his partner patted him on the back.
“I never miss.”
From that point, the tension between the two of you increased as the game progressed. You were determined to win against Jeno, trying your hardest to sink as many balls as you could. Lucas was proving to be just as competitive as you, rarely missing, but it seemed as if your combined efforts wouldn’t be enough as it came down to three cups – one on your side and two on Jeno’s.
“It’s not too late to give up,” Jaemin called from the other side.
You snorted. “We’re not giving up that easily.”
Lucas lined up his shot, managing to clip the rim as the ball fell into the cup. You let out a sigh of relief, but the moment was short-lived as he grabbed the ball and passed it to you.
“Don’t miss,” you heard Jeno say, mimicking your words from earlier.
Taking a deep breath, you threw the ball, watching with bated breath as it sailed over the table. It was going in… and then suddenly it wasn’t, having bounced off the rim and away from the cup. Lucas let out a groan, but patted you on the shoulder.
“It’s alright, they could still miss,” he reassured you as Jeno reached for the ball. He passed it over to Jaemin, who effortlessly tossed it into the final cup. The people that had gathered to watch exploded into cheers, surrounding the winners as you bitterly downed the shot.
“Hey,” a voice said once you’d moved away from the table and towards a quiet corner. You turned, seeing Jeno behind you.
“Congrats,” you told him, raising your cup in a toast before swallowing the rest of whatever was still left from before you’d gone to play.
“You’re actually pretty good,” he complimented. “I’ve never seen you play before.”
“I don’t play much honestly. Mark did most of the work when we last played, so that’s how we ended up winning.”
A mischievous smile made its way on his face. “Too bad you lost or else I would’ve let you pick my punishment. Looks like I’ll be making you suffer this time.”
Heat crept up your neck as you watched him take a step forwards, his finger tracing along the bottom of your jaw as he leaned in to whisper into your ear.
“Come upstairs with me?”
As he pulled away, you noticed his eyes darken a little when his pinky interlocked with yours, your body following his instinctively as the two of you wove through the crowds of people towards the stairs. Couples were making out here and there, but you paid them no attention as he led you into an empty bedroom, locking the door with a click as you walked over to the bed, standing at the side. He came to join you, bringing your lips to meet his in a passionate kiss as his hips canted into yours. You were pushed back onto the bed gently as he hovered over you, a smirk on his lips.
“You look hot when you drink,” he said, hands moving to take off his leather jacket and revealing the black tee that he wore underneath. You ran your hands over his arms, feeling the muscle tense under your touch as he sucked blossoming marks on your neck. Little by little, more clothes began to come off and he found himself between your thighs, kissing against the waistband of your panties as he looked up to you for permission to take them off. You nodded, feeling the cool air skim across your now-exposed core as he ran his tongue flat against your slit, making your grip in his hair tighten.
“That feels good,” you sighed as he ate you out, feeling him hum in response, the vibrations tingling against your skin. He lapped away at your arousal, eyes locked on yours sensually as he brought you closer and closer to an orgasm. Your hips bucked involuntarily after a particularly hard suck against your clit, prompting him to place an arm across your waist to keep you stable. The room was filled with the sound of your moans, the music from downstairs muffled by the closed door.
“Getting close?” he murmured.
You nodded. “Yeah… fuck, Jeno..”
Just as you were about to tip over the edge, he stopped, hovering over your core without moving as you squirmed, trying to bring him back to where you wanted him. He refused to move, cocking his head to the side and raising an eyebrow in challenge as you glared at him.
“Don’t be dick,” you grumbled, already missing his touch.
He chuckled. “Punishment, remember? You lost to me.”
“Am I really?”
Your body twitched as he placed a kitten lick against your clit, grinning at the way your lips parted and a gasp escaped. A finger worked its way into your core, joined by a second as he pumped them in a steady rhythm, brushing against a spot on your inner wall that made the pleasure spike in your body.
“Am I really the asshole here?” he asked again, voice low. You shook your head, whispering a faint “no”, but that didn’t seem to be good enough for him as he let out a disappointed noise.
“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
Opening your mouth to repeat your answer, the words got stuck in your throat as he combined the motions of his fingers with his tongue, working you once more to an orgasm as your walls spasmed and clenched around his digits, his name tumbling from your lips as it mixed with your moans. The pleasure coursed through your body, stopping your train of thought as he continued to move his fingers throughout your orgasm, eventually slowing as you came down from the high.
“You’re not the asshole,” you finally managed to say when he’d pulled away, licking his fingers clean.
“I know I’m not,” he replied, which earned himself a pointed glare. “Consider your punishment served.”
You propped yourself up onto your elbows, watching as he looked around for his jeans and began slipping them on. “What about you?”
He shook his head. “Tonight was about you, not me.”
“Jeno, I can literally see that your dick is hard.”
“I’ll be fine, trust me.”
Picking up your clothes, he laid them out on the bed neatly before reaching for his jacket and turning to you. “Come on, I’ll drive you home if you don’t want to stay anymore.”
You frowned. “Leaving so early?”
“It’s nearly one in the morning. I’ll be in the car when you’re ready.”
He walked out of the bedroom, leaving you to stare at his retreating form as the door closed. Quickly, you began getting dressed, not wanting to keep him waiting, but as you pulled on your shoes, you couldn’t help but remember the jealous look in his eyes that you’d seen when you’d walked up to the table with Lucas.
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“Remind me why I’m coming over to your dorm again?” Mark asked as you pushed the button for the elevator.
“Because you have to help with a project and I need someone from another major to participate in it,” you reminded him. “Jesus, your memory is shit.”
He let out an affronted noise. “Excuse me, that’s not true. I have a great memory.”
“Your head’s just always filled with lyrics.”
“My head’s just always filled with lyrics.”
Rolling your eyes, you stepped into the elevator as he followed, pressing the button for the seventh floor. As you waited to arrive, you searched your bag for your keycard, finding it just as the doors opened. The two of you walked over to your dorm, with you pushing the door open and letting your friend step through.
“You know,” he began. “I’ve never actually been here before.”
“Really? Have you actually never visited?”
“Nope, you always come over to mine.”
“Well,” you said, motioning vaguely. “Welcome, it’s nothing exciting.”
He followed you into the living room. “Is Jeno not home?”
“No idea,” you shrugged. “I texted him earlier and he still hasn’t responded. Anyways, go have a seat on the couch and we’ll get started. Want something to eat or drink?”
“Do you have watermelon juice?”
“Mark, of course I don’t have watermelon juice.”
“Oh, then water’s fine.”
Pouring him a glass, you placed it on the coffee table before heading over to your room to change out of your current outfit into something comfier. Grabbing your textbooks and papers, you went back into the living room, sitting cross-legged on the floor as Mark waited patiently.
“Okay, so I basically have to run you through a bunch of scenarios and analyze what common trends I see based on your answers,” you explained. “There’s about forty questions-”
“-that you’ll have to answer. It’s not hard, but you have to give me detailed responses so that I have enough data to go through later. I’ll be recording the session on my phone because it’s easier than writing everything down.”
“I better get paid for this,” he joked.
You snorted. “I’m paying you with my friendship, how’s that?”
“I’ll take it.”
While the two of you worked together, you heard the sound of a door opening, looking over to see your roommate (shirtless as usual) with a cup in his hand. He had a pair of headphones on, which he slipped down onto his neck, eyes moving between you and Mark, and an expression on his face that you couldn’t quite read.
“Hey, Jeno,” you said. “Didn’t know you were home.”
“I’ve been home all day,” he answered. “Who’s he?”
“Oh, this is Mark, my friend. Mark, meet Jeno."
Mark raised a hand in greeting. “Hey, dude. How’s it going?”
Jeno nodded in response, but didn’t say anything, continuing to look at you strangely. You raised your eyebrows at him, silently asking what was wrong, but he only shook his head faintly before heading into the kitchen.
“He doesn’t seem talkative today,” Mark noted. “Did I do something?”
“I’m not sure what’s up with him,” you confessed. “But you definitely didn’t do anything, don’t worry.”
You could hear Jeno making noise in the kitchen, but you ignored him as you continued working through the questions. Nearly an hour later, you sent Mark off with a promise to show you the new demo he’d been working on, closing the door and flopping onto the couch in relief that at least one part of your assignment was finished.
“Is he gone?” Jeno asked, appearing suddenly on the back side of the couch and leaning over the backrest, a chain peeking out from under the shirt he seemed to have finally put on.
“Yeah, we’re done for the day,” you said. “What’s up with you?”
He frowned. “What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong with me.”
“Are you sure? Mark was worried that he’d done something to upset you since you didn’t really respond to him.”
“I just wasn’t expecting him, that’s all.”
“I sent you a text about it in the morning. Didn’t you check your phone?”
“I didn’t get anything.”
You sighed. “Well, now you know.”
“So, he’s a friend, huh?” he asked. “How did you guys meet?”
“He’s a childhood friend,” you corrected. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. Went to the same daycare, same elementary school, everything. Our parents lived just down the street from each other.”
“Is he single?”
You rolled your eyes. “Yes, Mark is single. Seriously, what’s gotten into you? You’re acting weird.”
“I’m not acting weird,” he shot back. “You’re the one being weird.”
“Me? You’re the one literally questioning me about my best friend as if you’re jealous or something. That makes you the weird one.”
He didn’t say anything, simply averting his gaze as he climbed over the back of the couch and sat down beside you.
“Jeno, you can tell me if something’s wrong,” you said, placing a hand on his, but he simply pulled away, leaving you to stare in confusion. Annoyed, you pinched his side, making him let out a yelp as he fended off your advancing attacks.
“What was that for?” he said defensively.
“For being an idiot!” you shouted at him.
“I’m not a-ow! Cut it out!”
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong!”
The two of you continued to wrestle on the couch until you somehow ended up under him, your arms pinned above your head and his body straddling your hips. You squirmed to free yourself from his hold, but he was stronger and held you in place.
“Jeno,” you said slowly. “Let me go.”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Fine, then tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“If nothing’s wrong, then why won’t you let me go?”
His jaw tensed before his grip on your wrists loosened and he was climbing off of you, walking away to his bedroom and slamming the door shut before you had a chance to say anything. You stared at the closed door in confusion, your mind whirling as it tried to come up with a logical explanation for his behaviour, but nothing you could think of made sense.
Something’s definitely wrong with him.
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For the next two weeks, you barely saw Jeno.
Ever since that night, the tension between the two of you had reached a point where it physically made you feel awkward to be in the same proximity as him. He’d avoided making eye contact the next day, and the day after, and the day after until you'd ended up doing the same, pretending as if he didn’t exist. You ate your meals alone, did your homework alone, went to the supermarket alone. The occasional party that Mark dragged you to was a temporary distraction, but the mood would be ruined the second you saw Jeno amidst the crowd, his eyes passing over your figure as if you weren’t even there. He was gone before you could wake up and gone when you got home, but you could hear him coming home late at night and moving around the kitchen before heading into the bedroom and closing his door. Other times, he just wouldn’t come home at all.
You didn’t gather the courage to confront him until Sunday evening of the third week, pushing the door open to his room without knocking, only to find him scrolling through his phone while lying on his bed. He barely looked up from the screen as you stood in the doorway, arms crossed and your annoyance starting to build.
“Are you going to ignore me for the rest of this week too?” you snapped at him.
He didn’t say anything.
“Jeno, I’m talking to you.”
He still didn’t reply.
That’s it, you thought, stomping out of his room without bothering to close the door and grabbing your keys from the counter. Phone in hand, you slipped on your shoes and left the dorm, angrily walking through the hallways until you reached the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. Reaching the ground floor, you pushed through the doors of the building and went out into the night as you were greeted with the sound of crickets chirping faintly. You weren’t sure where to go, considering everything was closed at this hour, so you opted for the one place you knew was going to be open all night – the library.
The campus hallways, once filled with the bustle and noise of its students, were hauntingly empty as you walked through the corridors, your footsteps echoing loudly against the floors until you reached the large wooden doors of the library. Like the rest of the buildings, no one seemed to be here, the silence proving to be ominous as you wandered over to a corner that had a window, sitting on the ledge as you leaned your head against the glass.
What had you done wrong?
Your phone buzzed in your hand, making you take a peek at the screen. It was a message from Jeno.
Jeno (10:27 PM): where are you??
Oh, so now he cares?
You ignored the message, only to have another come through.
Jeno (10:29 PM): i know you’re reading my texts
You (10:30 PM): fuck off jeno
Jeno (10:30 PM): tell me where you are
You (10:31 PM): no
He continued to send you messages, but you shut off your phone entirely and closed your eyes, allowing the silence of the empty library to fill your ears as your chest tightened and the tears brimmed in the corner of your eyes. Don’t cry, you scolded yourself as a tear rolled down your cheek. Don’t cry over someone like him.
It’s okay to cry. You like him.
No, I don’t.
Yes, you do and you know it, no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise.
You did like him, but seeing him reject you in the way he had was like a kick to the stomach.
“There you are!”
Jeno’s voice suddenly sounded from behind, making you whip your head around in surprise as he jogged over to where you were sitting. Immediately, his hands cupped your face as he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you strongly until you pushed at his chest for air. He didn’t pull away entirely, simply resting his forehead against yours.
“Why?” you whispered. “Why did you come looking for me?”
“I’d never forgive myself if you despised me for the rest of your life because I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that I’ve liked you since the day you showed up,” he confessed quietly.
You shook your head sadly, pushing aside the hope that soared in your chest. “You said no feelings, remember?”
“I don’t care about that shit anymore.”
He kissed you once more as you wrapped your arms around his neck, his tongue tangling with yours as you gasped into his mouth. Two weeks of nothing and you didn’t realize how much you were used to having Jeno around, to have him touch you and talk to you as if you’d known him forever. Without him, everything felt wrong. With him, it all settled into place like the final piece of a puzzle.
Jeno finally liked you back.
“I want to fuck you so bad,” he groaned out as he lifted you up into his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you over to a pair of couches that were placed behind a series of bookshelves, sitting down with you situated on his lap.
“Then fuck me,” you said.
He shook his head. “No, I owe you an apology first.”
Carefully, he brushed a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. “I’m sorry for ignoring you like I did. I was being a jealous asshole and the more I thought about you being so close with Mark, the angrier I got and decided to stay away before I did something I would regret. It’s true that I’ve liked you since the first day, but I didn’t want to push my feelings onto you in case you didn’t feel the same way.”
“You could’ve just told me this from the start,” you scolded him, fingers playing with the chain around his neck.
He sighed. “I should’ve, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was going to tell you how I felt when we were studying for our exams together, but you seemed so stressed with your work that I didn’t want to add to that by throwing myself into the mix. The day you walked in on me, I wasn’t expecting you to agree to be friends with benefits, but I thought it would be better to have that than to risk telling you how I felt and you hating me for it.”
“I was upset when you brought that girl over the first time,” you admitted. “It didn’t hit me until then that I had feelings for you, but I was afraid to say anything because you were the first perfect roommate I’d had in a while and I didn’t want to ruin that.”
“We’re both idiots,” he chuckled.
“One major idiot and one a little less.”
“You’re the major idiot.”
“Excuse me? You literally ignored me for two fucking weeks.”
“Okay, I’m the major idiot then.”
You rolled your eyes. “So, where does that leave us?”
“Friends?” he offered.
“Of course we’re friends,” you said. “I meant feelings-wise.”
He paused for a moment to think. “Well, we both like each other, so why not just date?”
You raised your pinky up into the air. “Promise to not get jealous?”
Jeno linked his pinky with yours. “I’ll try, but Mark’s going to have to go.”
“He’s my best friend.”
“Fine, he can stay, but any others have to go.”
You smiled. “There are no others, Jeno. You’re the only one.”
© AMORAJAE 2021. All Rights Reserved.
2K notes · View notes
newdecades · a month ago
after hours
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pairing: jeno x female! reader
genre: college! au, established relationship, smut, fluff
words: 2.3k
contains: unprotected sex, switch jeno, handjob, making out, nipple play, some little aftercare
author’s note: this has no plot really,,,just jeno sneaking into y/n’s dorm room at night. this is an impulse write inspired by jeno’s 3am relay cam and only took less than a day for me to complete it! please let me know if you enjoyed it, thank you <3
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Never in a million years Jeno thought he would be climbing up trees and buildings to sneak into your dorm room in the cold after midnight. But here he was, standing on a window sill with his life at stake. Thankfully, due to his athletic build and the fact that you lived on the third floor made his life the way it was right now 10x easier.
“The lengths people can go to for love. Lee Jeno, do you think you’re Mr. Romeo?” Jeno’s roommate, Jaemin’s voice kept ringing in his head as he balanced his weight on the tree branch. He wanted to see you. Scratch that, he needed to see you even though you two bid each other goodbyes just a few hours ago. Luckily the climb had a good amount of handholds due to the building’s exterior but was still a challenge. He climbed up to your window sill and tapped on the glass hoping that you were in the room alone.
You were sitting in your room at your study table, catching up on your studies, and you didn't intend on sleeping until much later. You perked up a little when you heard tapping at the window and looked over to see the stupid sheepish smile which belonged to your boyfriend on the other side through the blinds on your window. You hurriedly approached the opened the window and opened it, "Jeno, why are— what the fuck?"
Jeno simply snickered as he pushed himself up into your room with a thud. “Are you not happy to see me?” He laughed, brushing off his hoodie before getting a better look at you. “Were you studying or something?” He pointed at your laptop and pile of textbooks on the table.
You ignored him. “What if you fell and fractured your arms? Why couldn't you just call me—
Jeno placed his hands on your shoulders and silenced you with a kiss. His lips were warm, they mold to yours as though they were two puzzle pieces merging together. He pulled apart first and mumbled against your lips, “I didn’t break my arms though.”
You playfully pushed him away and walked over to your chair and sat on it with one leg crossed over the other. ”What brought you here at ass o’clock?"
Jeno replied with a shrug. "Jaemin has been sleeping ever since he came back from classes and I’m really fucking bored so…" He paused and added, “You mentioned Yuna went home for the weekend as well.”
“Are you sure you just wanted to see me?”
“Why are you askin—Fine, I came for some pussy.” Jeno dramatically raised his arms leaned back on your bed. “But I don’t think I want that anymore after climbing up pipes and trees like that, the security down there also looks like a fucking demon.”
You laughed, walking over to the bed where your boyfriend was sitting and sat on his lap, your hands on either side of his shoulders. “He should’ve kicked your ass. What if someone saw, you’re fucking insane!”
“Insane for y—ouch!” Jeno burst into laughter when you punched him in the chest and immediately shushed him, panic washing over you. Your roommate might’ve been out for the weekend but there were others residing there as well and you definitely didn’t want to be known as the one sneaking her boyfriend in late at night.
“I can sit here and play games with headphones on if you wanna continue studying.” Jeno suggested and kissed you on the cheeks gently. “I need yours thoug—
“I’m done studying…”
“What if I kick you out now?”
Jeno laughed again, that pleasant laughter that made your stomach tingle as if a thousand flowers were blooming inside every single time. "God, you’re impossible."
You grinned against his lips and muttered “I love you.”
In response, Jeno slid your hand down from his shoulder and pressed his lips on the back of it, a soft kiss that was full of fondness, then grabbed your waist to pull you to sit down on his lap comfortably. “I love you too, my princess.”
You laughed heartily, relieved and happy in his lap, sliding your arms around his neck. “Don’t climb up the window for my pussy again, please.”
“I was just kidding.” He giggled, nuzzling his face on the curve of your neck. “I came here because I missed you, the sex is just a bonus.”
“Much better reason to come here.”
Jeno suddenly pushed you off his lap and onto the bed, “Jeno!” and you whined as he rained kisses along your throat and to the neck, your body inevitably squirmed beneath him. “Wait, wait!” He abruptly stopped and leaned away, frowning with sudden concern as he stared down at you.
Mischief in your smile, you quickly wrapped your arms around him, pulling him down and your lips found his, nibbling playfully to part them before your tongue slipped in between. You kissed him fiercely as your fingers were tangled in his hair, pulling and tugging to match the intensity of the kiss.
Jeno’s eyes widened at your sudden attack of kiss, but he responded eagerly nonetheless as his lips moved in sync with yours, his eyes now closed. A harsh intake of breath filled his lungs when the kiss broke apart, he was panting like you but the burning love in his eyes now became one with unbridled desire. “Oh wow, what has gotten into you suddenly?” He asked, looking intensely down at your now kiss-swollen lips.
Without saying anything you kissed him again and Jeno let himself melt into your kisses, closing his eyes to relish the emotions that carried within your kiss.
After a while you started to wriggle in his arms, and he immediately let go of you. You got up and sat on the bed and let him push your chin up. You grinned at him as he bent down to kiss you again.
"I’ve got something for you." You whispered against his lips as his hand continued to caress on your thighs. "My love, you’re gonna sit back and enjoy everything," You grinned again, and he gently nibbled his lower lip before he laid a kiss on your forehead.
“Is this the part where I get to have fun?”
"Let me have my fun first." You sat back up to discard your tank top and shorts and Jeno gulped nervously because fuck, you weren’t wearing your bra and panties. Your fingers ran over his side, letting one of your hands play with the strings of his sweatpants.
"Should I be scared?"
"I don't know, should you?" You replied mischievously and kissed the corner of his mouth while your hand slowly ran over his clothed length. Jeno was still nuzzling your hair, and you did the same with his neck. He sat up to pull his hoodie over his head and sweatpants down as you spoke—
"Okay, your fun's over." You breathed out, propping yourself up on your elbows and giving him a lazy grin.
"Got it." Jeno replied smoothly, rising to meet you in a quick kiss. When you broke away from it, you ran your hands over Jeno’s shoulders and down his chest, taking him in with appreciative eyes. The slow and steady rise of his chest was comfortable underneath your palms.
"I have no idea what you're up to but honestly, I'm not complaining." Jeno breathed out followed by a nervous chuckle.
"Sit up straight." You ignored him, taking a great delight in the way he scrambled to obey quickly.
"Y/N, this better be a one time thing because I’m not gonna let you boss me around ever again." Jeno said as he laid back, half-sitting against the pillows. He splayed himself underneath you and licked his lips. They were swollen against your own when you leaned forward to kiss him again.
With a smile you straddled his hips and ran your nails down his chest once more, leaving light lines over it. Jeno shivered at the contact, and groaned when one of those hands slid down to wrap around his hard cock and stroke. You gave the head a squeeze and he bucked up into your fist.
"Yeah, I'm not letting you do this shit again." Jeno panted out, a chuckle escaping his lips. “Fuck this.”
"Shut up." You giggled and in a fluid motion, you raised yourself up and lined yourself over his cock. You dropped down swiftly and mounted him, triggering a loud groan from both of you.
"Fuck!" You gasped quietly, grinding down to find the right angle. Your fingers moved down to toy with your clit as you rocked slowly back and forth on his cock, shuddering at its girth.
Meanwhile, Jeno’s hands drifted down to your stomach and hips, then up again to cup your tits and gave a firm squeeze. You threw your head back with a moan and let him knead them between his hands. He took the opportunity to sit up further and place nips at the crook of your neck and kiss over your collarbones. Jeno brushed his thumbs over your nipple and trailed wet kisses up your neck.
Victorious in getting you to let out a whimper that turned into a silent scream halfway through, Jeno grew bolder. He met your riding with agonizingly slow thrusts and leaned back, pulling you down with him until he could find the right angle to hit the spot he knew would set your nerves alight. One of the hands that rubbed at your tits drew down to your hips. He stretched his thumb to replace yours on your clit, circling around it and pulling back the hood.
"Fuck, my plan failed." You snickered out, making Jeno laugh as well.
“You thought you could dominate me, that's cute." Jeno was practically glowing with pride as he thrust up into you again, moving the pad of his thumb over your clit lightly. You sighed, bracing your hands on either side of him and closing the last few inches between you two.
“You’re gonna drive me craz— fuck!”
Jeno stifled a chuckle and gave another shallow thrust that found your spot, sending you into a chorus of curses.
His lips found your tits, kissing them and flicking his tongue over a nipple as his thrusts became more sloppy. You quietly cried, hands flying over your mouth out with every thrust. Jeno matched you with his own groans and together the sounds echoed around the dorm room. If anyone lurked outside the door, they would have undoubtedly heard you both by now.
Jeno’s voice cracked when you clenched around him, making him squirm against the bed. "Fuck!" he groaned, pupils blown wide and chest heaving.
You kissed him once more, long and hard, before drawing away and sitting back up. You locked eyes, and gave him a breathless grin.
Together you worked fast and hard, you rode him in a frenzy as he thrust up with no real rhythm. His strokes against your clit became quick circles, and you clenched around him every time he bucked up into your core. You felt as though fire was licking at your skin, brushing every sensitive spot over and over again. When Jeno drew himself up and pulled you into one last kiss and thrusted at exactly the right place, it was almost as if you had exploded.
“Fuck fuck, pull out—fuck!”
You threw your head back and came with a silent scream, while Jeno ignored you and eased off, slowly fucking you through your orgasm. He brought you back down, letting you collapse on top of him with a huff of air and rubbing a hand down your back to steady your shakes. Somewhere between you falling on top of him and him brushing your hair out of your now sweaty face, he had pulled out. And to your shock, he still hadn’t cum yet.
"Fuck, I thought you were gonna cum." You laughed, when you were lucid once more and had rolled off of him. And it only took five strokes of your hands over his cock to get him to release his load all over his stomach with a cry. He screwed his eyes shut as he did, mouth forming into a perfect 'o' and hands gripping at the sheets until his knuckles turned white. Jeno came down from the high faster, opening his eyes with an exhale, and a dorky grin plastered on his face.
"Where did all that confidence go?"
"Fuck off." He laughed as he gasped for air.
You smiled at him and rolled over to fetch tissues from the table, using them to wipe away the cum from his stomach before tossing them aside. Jeno kissed you deeply when you turned back to him, and you curled up against his chest with a satisfied smile.
“I should come in like this more ofte—
“Never even think about it.”
759 notes · View notes
neopuppy · 6 months ago
All Night Long (M)
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Preview: “He’s actually about to start opening packages! You should see how many omega’s actually do send him their filthy slicked up underwear.” You adjust the screen so Jaemin can have a better view.
“You can’t be serious right now..” Jaemin looks around with shifty eyes. “ done..that?”
“No! Gross! I would never! Look- I might be lame, and desperate, and..weird sometimes but I’m not that weird. Besides, it’s too embarrassing..what if he got a whiff of my scent and looked disgusted.” You finish with a frown. Jaemin sighs shaking his head.
“Embarrassing? And this..” he reaches forward, picking up a vile hanging from your lamp. “This Jeno’s Juice isn’t?!? YOU HAVE IT HANGING WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE!”
“Hey!!” You yank the vile from his hands, clutching it to your chest. “I paid good money for this!”
“Oh believe me! I’ll never forget the day you dropped $100 on gamer boy bath water.”
Pairing: Alpha JenoxFemale Omega Reader
Word Count: 5k(this..was supposed to be a drabble)
Genre: one shot, AU, smut, a/b/o, kinda crack, gamer/camboy Jeno, roommate Jaemin(JUST friends)
Warnings: explicit language, smut, PWP(plot if you squint), alcohol/drug mentioned once.
Smut Warning: knot kink, breeding kink, praise kink, too much slick, that good a/b/o stuff.
a/n: Thank You for 1000+ followers! Enjoy
“This guys so shameless, streaming shirtless playing Minecraft?” Jaemin shoves his glasses up grimacing at your computer screen seated next to you.
“You’re just jealous no one pays to watch you do mundane things without a shirt on.” You adjust your elbow against your desk, smiling watching the man on screen lift a brow at you. At least that’s what you tell yourself.
“You don’t even play Minecraft, do you really care what he’s doing?” Jaemin rolls his eyes, in disbelief by the amount of viewers joining the stream.
“Hey if you’re gonna be judging, just get out! You’re ruining my most relaxing time of the day!” You shove at him, keeping your eyes trained on the screen lighting up your dark room.
“If I was an alpha, you’d be paying to watch me..” Jaemin scoffs. “Alphas have it so easy, they just exists and you omegas throw your panties at them begging to be used.”
“He’s actually about to start opening packages! You should see how many omega’s actually do send him their filthy slicked up underwear.” you adjust the screen so Jaemin can have a better view.
“You can’t be serious right now..” Jaemin looks around with shifty eyes. “ done..that?”
“No! Gross! I would never! Look- I might be lame, and desperate, and..weird sometimes but I’m not that weird. Besides, it’s too embarrassing..what if he got a whiff of my scent and looked disgusted.” You finish with a frown. Jaemin sighs shaking his head.
“Embarrassing? And this..” he reaches forward, picking up a vile hanging from your lamp. “This Jeno’s Juice isn’t?!? YOU HAVE IT HANGING WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE!”
“Hey!!” You yank the vile from his hands, clutching it to your chest. “I paid good money for this!”
“Oh believe me! I’ll never forget the day you dropped $100 on gamer boy bath water.” Jaemin frowns throughly disgusted. “You lived off nothing but ramen that month. If only FAFSA knew you were spending your checks to fund some alpha profiting off your sexual deprivation.”
“You’re such a jealous nerd, ugh. Betas!” you laugh, returning the vile to hang. “Sometimes he plays Animal Crossing you know? It’s really cute, he knows all of K.K. Sliders best hits. Also! Dont forget..” you open up your desk drawer, pulling out a small glittery decorated binder. “First 100 orders also came with limited edition photo cards!” You turn to the page displaying photos of the alpha waist up in a bathtub. “He’s unbelievable!”
“We need to get out more.” Jaemin furrows his brows with concern watching you beam passing through the stacked pages of photos. “Both of us, we’re in our prime! Not getting laid!”
“I don’t wanna get laid, I mean we used to do it and..”
“Hey hey, no need to remind me that I don’t sexually arouse you. It’s not my fault you’re obsessed with alpha knots. You don’t necessarily do it for me either, but I am a man with needs after all.” He shrugs, continuing to watch the alpha laugh on the screen. He’s reading the absurd comments coming in the streams chat room. “Surprised you’re not typing out poems of adoration and love right now.”
“Pft, you know I’m subscribed to his only fans. I send him messages everyday.” You pull open your phone, scrolling through the read love sonnets you leave the alpha daily.
“You’re kinda pitiful” Jaemin sighs again. “But love you bestie. I should go study for my test tomorrow now. As interesting as this was and all.” He gets up, waving goodbye. “Try not to get slick all over the floors again. See you in the morning.”
You return your focus back to the alpha’s stream. Leaning back into your chair with a content smile. He was perfect, funny, handsome, witty, and so so sexy. Who needed the real thing, when Jeno was right out of your dreams.
“Are my cute omegas having fun tonight? Alphas and betas too of course, I see you” Jeno smiles brightly, the sounds of coins chiming in growing louder.
“Ah yea, I have a lot of packages to go through. I’ll just open a few tonight. I’m sorry I won’t be streaming tomorrow night. It’s going to be a long day moving into my new place.” Jeno explains while cutting open a package. His nose immediately scrunches up, forcing a smile on his lips. Jeno pulls out a red lacy bra from the envelope.
“Ooh.. not quite my size is it?” He laughs holding it against his chest. “Yes, I probably could open up my own lingerie store at this point.” Jeno reads through the chat, pushing the bra off camera.
“How often do I pop a knot? You cuties never get tired of asking that do you?” He reads with a brow wiggle, biting on his lip. “Like I told you all last week, I’m single at the moment. The only knots I’m popping are into the palm of my hand.”
Jenoknotmyazz- There’s NO WAY he’s single, but whatever! Feed my fantasy alpha🤤
Alphadiqq666- He better lie to me, 80% of my pay checks go straight into his bank account!!
You sigh rolling your eyes scanning the chat. Jeno most likely wasn’t going to read half of these anyway.
‘You look really sexy with your hair pushed back like that alpha. Don’t overwork yourself tomorrow moving! Get a lot of rest tonight!💓’ you type out hitting send.
“Oh..” Jeno’s eyes light up, crinkling around the corners. “You like my hair like this kn0tluvr?” He smiles wider reading out your user name, flicking at the strands of hair styled in front of his forehead. Your cheeks heat up immediately, butterflies exploding in your stomach.
JenosNippleLickr- Ugh what a simp! Show us cock!!!
Eatmyaxx69- seriously what the hell?? does he ever get full nude?!? this is boring!!
‘It looks really good on you alpha! But you really pull off anything😚’ you finish typing out, hands trembling. Only just realizing how embarrassing your username sounds. Jeno continues reading through the chat, smile widening.
“Alright my babies..” The alpha leans back stretching out his arms. Biceps flexing, coins in the chat room going crazy. “It’s time I sign off and catch some Z’s” he bites down on his lip rubbing over his abs. “Of course I haven’t forgotten about your goodnight kiss. You think I’d leave you all hanging like that?” Jeno smirks leaning in, pursing his lips out with a smacking sound.
“Get some rest, remember to dream of me.” He winks, waving off as the stream ends. You let out a sad sigh, feeling the familiar emptiness return.
“I’ll go leave him a message..” you nod, opening up the alphas website, sending him many thanks and praises before going to bed.
“Listen, hear me out. I thought about it, I really think it would be a good idea.” Jaemin sips at his black coffee across from you.
“How is that possibly a good idea?!? That’s mortifying!” You look at him like he’s crazy, which he obviously is.
“How?? You literally pay this alpha every month! What’s the harm in sending him..” he looks around shrugging. “A shirt? I don’t know, something that’s coated in your scent. Doesn’t have to be underwear!”
“Jaemin I can’t do that. I see the way he reacts when he’s opening packages! I can tell he doesn’t like it..” you shake your head, motioning absolutely not with your hands.
“I’m saying this as your friend, you need to get laid. At least go out with me Friday, there are so many alphas out there! Instead you choose to waste your time with this....basically artificial intelligence one that you can’t even touch.” Jaemin frowns with concern. This isn’t the first time he’s lectured you about this, wouldn’t be the last surely either.
“Don’t call him that, it’s not his fault I have ptsd after that last alpha I was with. If anything, he’s helping me learn to trust them again.”
“You have to do this for me. I hate seeing you waste your days away masturbating to some alpha playing video games” he finishes with a sigh.
“Hey! What I do in the privacy of my bedroom is none of your business.” You cross your arms over your chest annoyed. Who is he- or anyone, to tell you what you can and can’t get off to.
“Send him something.” Jaemin gives you a stern look, tugging at your pajama shirt.
“If I do, will you leave me alone about this? You know being single isn’t the worst thing. It’s not like I see you holed up with anyone.” You smack his hand away.
“What kind of roommate would I be rubbing my relationships in your face? I’ll have you know, I’m very popular among the omegas at my job.” Jaemin scoffs rubbing over his hand, as if your slap hurt.
“Sure sure. Look I’ll send him something, and endure the humiliation if it means you’ll get it through your head that I just.. find him comforting and peaceful to watch after a long day.” You sigh leaning against the kitchen island. “He’s so funny, and cute.. he just seem’s so nice too. He never let’s the perverts that are only interested in his body bother him. He’s so respectful toward all the omegas sending him things even if he doesn’t like it..”
“Go on, you’re missing the major factor here.”
“..fine! He’s really attractive! God he’s so sexy I want to burst into tears just looking at him!” You turn fisting Jaemin’s t-shirt. “And I just know! I JUST KNOWWW IT’S BIG!” you whimper dropping your head against his shoulder. “I just know he could break me with his knot, he could end my life with his knot and bring me back. He could fix me!!”
“You’re so weird” Jaemin pats your back. “Nothing’s gonna fix that.”
You chewed over your fingernails nervously, angry at yourself for letting Jaemin convince you to send the alpha you adored watching a piece of your clothing. It was all you could think about after sending out the small package to his PO Box. What if your scent repulsed him? What if he had no reaction at all? Would no reaction be better than some type of reaction? At least if he hated it you could convince yourself you really had no chance.
Who knew how fast it would get to him, you had sent him things before. No need to mention to Jaemin the amount of game stop gift cards and designer clothes you’d picked off Jeno’s wishlist. His mailing address was in the same city as you which always made you nervous. He had moved yesterday missing his normal streaming schedule though. What are the chances you’d ever run into him at the grocery store anyway? The city was big enough to never cross paths.
The black screen lights up as Jeno signs on waving at the camera. He’s in a white muscle tank today, pushing his hair back off his face with a smile.
“Hey cuties, I know you missed me yesterday. Thanks for being patient and waiting for me.” Jeno looks over the chat, quietly laughing. “Why’s my shirt still on? Good question..let’s fix that” he leans back, slowly revealing his defined slim waist and abs. Jeno slides his hand over his stomach, drawing lines across the crevices. The chat exploding with donations and horny omegas.
“Should I start playing? Or would you like me to open some packages first?” Jeno smirks pulling a pile of envelopes and parcels closer on his desk. “I had soooo many waiting at the post office. I really feel so loved right now.” Jeno places a hand over his heart sighing dramatically.
“This one’s decorated so cute...oh! kn0tluvr?? You never send me mail like this!” Jeno beams with excitement wiggling around the shiny black package wrapped in a glittery bow. You nearly jump out of your seat hearing your username out loud yet again. It would be too late to change it at this point.. You lean over your desk inching in closer to the screen.
“Ah it’s almost too pretty to open” Jeno delicately cuts across the top, his smile immediately faltering. Your heart nearly sinks analyzing every movement on his face. “It’s...a shirt?” He gently pulls out your worn out pajama shirt coated in your scent, chest rising and falling taking in deep breaths. He swallows down audibly with a nod. “’s..nice.”
Puppyking00- who the hell sends a nasty old shirt?
Knotmyazzjeno- no seriously, what a loser. Hope he opens mine next, I wore this thong for a week before mailing it!
Your eyes water up watching Jeno hesitate before moving your package off screen to the side. He continues on ripping through another envelope, quickly returning to a normal state of half annoyed pretending to be unbothered.
“He hates me..” you throw yourself back into your seat. “Why did I listen to you Jaemin!” You wipe at your eyes shaking your head. “No, no. I won’t cry over this.” Looking back at Jeno continue on with his widened eyes holding up another set of underwear. With a whiny sigh you minimize the screen, unable to keep watching him.
“It doesn’t mean anything.. he doesn’t know me. He’ll never know me..”
“No offense don’t look so great?” Jaemin lifts a brow eyeballing your distraught appearance. You cried throughout the entirety of the night on and off. Trying to convince yourself you had no real reason to be disappointed.
“Thanks..” you murmur pouring yourself a glass of water.
“Something happen?” Jaemin asks you now feeling concerned.
“Nothing” you lowly reply, hiding your mouth in your cup.
“Shit well...I gotta head out to work. Early shift today.. hey uh, check the mail yea? I’m expecting some stuff.” Jaemin pats your arm on his way out. He throws you a wave goodbye at the door.
“K..” you mumble out to yourself as the door clicks shut. You really needed to get things done today and quit wallowing in your misery. May as well get the mail out of the way. You pull on one of Jaemin’s hoodies and your slippers heading out to the elevator. The mailboxes all located at the main entrance of the building, omega, betas and alphas alike. Despite living on a floor for only omegas and betas, you still passed the the alphas quite often whenever returning home.
“Junk mail...trash..” you murmur to yourself, tossing anything unimportant into a near by garbage. The front entrance door opening and shutting, with other’s always passing through.
“Hi..excuse me?” A deep voice questions near by. You lift your head looking to the side, dropping the pile of mail in your hands. The alphas eyes widen looking at the dropped envelopes.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you!” He replies holding his hands up. Your mouth falls open, hands shaking in front of you. “Uh.. you.. live here right?” He nervously lifts his arm, scratching at the back of his neck. It’s him, it has to be him.. shirtless and all. Even better, soaked in sweat, beautiful scent circling around you so intensely. “I just..” he nods toward the elevators. “The elevator to my floor is down. I checked the main office but no one’s there yet.. uh I just moved in yesterday. I’m not quite sure where the emergency stair case would be?”
You continue staring at him, slowly blinking as your ears fill up with cotton. There was just no way.. it was really him?!? The alpha you’d been obsessing over for the last two years? Here in the flesh, standing right before your eyes. It was like the picture of perfection, with the sun beating down right behind his large broad frame. You could hear angels singing, every move he made in slow motion.
“Are you..are you ok?” Jeno asks drawing his eyebrows up. You stumble back finally snapping yourself out of this, trance.
“I..uh..” you look down at the mail you dropped, squatting down to pick up everything. Jeno’s eyes widen following you, helping you with the ones that scattered further.
“Sorry again, I really didn’t mean to startle you like that.”
“No no!” You look up, staring into his eyes with shock. “Uh it’s uh.. “ you shake your head standing up, Jeno following holding out the envelopes he grabbed. “You’re..” you motion up and down his body.
“Oh! I just got back from my morning run. I always work out like this.” He says with a shy smile, rubbing over his stomach. Oh God, just like he does on live stream!
“You uhm.. stairs?.. stairs?” Your heart feels like it’s pounding out of your chest. No doubt Jeno could hear it too.
“Yea!” Jeno nods quickly breaking into a smile. The smile! You swallow clutching the mail to your chest, eyes bulging giving yourself a once over.
“Oh my God..” you whisper out loud, cringing. Of course you had to look like this right now of all times. Of course.
“If you’re busy I can just wait for someone to show up..” Jeno chews over his bottom lip. You shake your head eagerly.
“No no! I’ll help you!!” You nod, with too much excitement. “I know where the stairs are!”
“Oh great!” You nod again, walking ahead throwing Jeno a glance to follow you.
“My names Jeno by the way..” he walks steadily by your side keeping up a pace.
“I kn...uh, I uh..” you grimace stopping yourself before you end up giving yourself away.
“You must live on the beta floor?” Jeno questions, trying to keep the conversation flowing as you walk around the building. You lift a brow in confusion nodding your head.
“Well yea, my roommates a beta.. wait how did you know that?..” you pause near the stairs. Jeno looks you up and down.
“Oh? Your scent..” Jeno sniffs at the air. “You’re a beta right?”
“Me?! Beta?!” You look down at yourself, of course.. Jaemin’s hoodie. “Ohhh” you laugh out hysterically slapping your thigh. “No no! I’m an omega.. this is my roommates sweater, I just threw it on.”
“Ah, your partner is a beta?” Jeno crosses his arms over his chest, nice thick defined arms.
“Ew no, he’s my friend” you wave your hand off thinking about Jaemin. “I mean he’s.. I mean, I’m single!” You shout out, quickly covering up your mouth.
“That’s...good?” Jeno grins, glancing at the stairs. “I have to get going. Thank you for directing me. Again really sorry for surprising you like that. See you around?”
“Oh of course, anytime!” You wish the ground beneath you would just open up and eat you alive now more than ever. Jeno waves goodbye, jogging up the stairs. You wait until his gorgeous sculpted back is out of sight, beating your head against the wall.
“Stupid! Idiot! Oh my God! What am I going to do?!?” You look around crazed, pulling at Jaemin’s hood. “Stupid Jaemin!”
“This is all your fault. I need to move! I can’t live here anymore, he already saw me looking like a complete slop! Ugh” you shout out, throwing clothes out of your closet at Jaemin. He dodges all of your shoes, throwing everything else into a pile.
“Quit being so dramatic, this is a good thing isn’t it? Means you’ll run into him easily. You get to know him like two normal people. You’re not that bad you know, he could fall for you for all we know!” Jaemin picks up a black dress smoothing it out.
“He doesn’t like me!” You whine stomping your foot. “I could tell, my scent disgusted him. That’s all it takes! You know how many alphas I’ve fucked even though they didn’t like my scent? None! Because of something called Biology!”
“Hmm, that’s tough.” Jaemin stands up, nearing you. “You should wear this tonight. Will definitely get you laid.” He smirks holding the black strappy dress against your body. You snatch it away with a low growl.
“I am not going out tonight!”
“What?! Yes you are! A deal is a deal! Besides, what better way to get over this alpha, than getting under another one?! Come onnnnn, I already got us on the guest list for that club that just opened a couple months ago.” Jaemin drones, grabbing your arms.
“I hate you so much.” You look in the mirror holding the dress against yourself, slumping forward.
“Hey, you’re gonna love me after you get some alpha dick tonight!” Jaemin wiggles his eyebrows. “Get ready! I’ll get the uber to come in a couple hours.”
“I’m getting ripped tonight! R-I-P THAT PUSSY AYYEEEE!” Jaemin’s deep voice echoes through the hallway. You fall back against your bed ready to scream.
You better get some alpha dick tonight.
“Can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” You groan, stirring your straw around in your drink. Jaemin leans in closer, eyes clouding with reds and pinks.
“Can’t really hear you! It’s too loud! I wanna dance!” Jaemin tugs on your arm pulling you away from the bar. He smoked the entire way to the club, high enough to touch clouds by now. You trudge along slowly, shoving into the center of the floor behind him.
“I’m just not in the mood..” you mumble staring at your feet.
“That’s not good, what do we need to do to change that?” A raspy deep voice whispers against your ear. You look up, Jaemin nowhere in sight anymore. The familiar scent of alpha running around you. Lifting your head with a look over your shoulder, you gasp dropping your mouth open- Jeno. He smiles lifting his brows, forehead creasing. “Guess we’re seeing each other sooner than expected?”
“I..” you squeak, jumping in surprise. Jeno pressing against your backside. Something very large nestling between your mounds.
“I think I’ll be able to help your mood..” Jeno leans his face in, moving your hair away to one side. Nose swiping across your collarbone, up your neck to your ear. “kn0tluvr.”
“ knew?!” You panic, reaching behind grabbing at Jeno’s shirt. “I’m sorr-..” Jeno places a finger against your lips.
“Shh shh shhh. Nothing to worry about baby.” Jeno grinds forward against the thin fabric of your dress, his size only becoming more prevalent with each move of his hips. “You just need a knot to fill you up don’t you?” Jeno bends his knees, hard cock shoving between your legs.
“Oh.. alpha.. please. Yes, I need it.” This had to be a dream. There was no way this was actually happening. Jeno’s hands slide beneath the side of your dress cupping your breasts.
“You wanna come home with me? Want to get stretched by my knot all night long?” He thrusts up between your legs. Fingers tweaking and pinching over your hardened nipples.
“Please alpha. Take me.” You mewl dropping back against his sturdy frame. Jeno engulfing your breasts in his strong hands, squeezing them roughly.
“Lets go.” Jeno wraps his arms around your waist, shoving through the crowd. Keeping you warm and protected, hard cock pressed up against you. The short drive home feeling like torture. Driver yelling at you to control yourselves or he’ll charge extra for slick stains and pheromone blockers. Jeno runs around, pulling you out of the car running into the building.
“Fuck, the stairs” he looks around in frustration, slamming his fist against the elevator door. You whimper, squeezing your thighs together, slick traveling down to your knees. Jeno grunts, hoisting you up, pulling your legs around his waist. “Hold on to me.”
He carries you up the stairs so easily, displaying a true powerful alpha. Your hands travel over his shoulders, squeezing around his rippling biceps. Slick steadily pouring out of your core, crying in anticipation. Jeno fumbles around with a key behind you, kicking at his door. He charges in once it finally gives, pressing you into the wall, grinding forward.
“I’m gonna fucking cum already.” Jeno groans, pounding you against the wall faster. Slick soaking his pants, your underwear completely destroyed. You cry out, dropping your head back. If it felt this big with clothes on, you couldn’t even fathom just how big he’d be without.
“Jeno, fuck me please. I need your knot” you drop your head forward, feeling like a rag doll with how fast you were bouncing. Jeno’s thighs flexed hard, thrusting up into you brutally.
“Oh fuckkk” he let’s out a low deep drawn out whine, shoving at you one more time. Grimacing at the uncomfortable stickiness caught between his legs. He moves swiftly, gathering you up stumbling toward his bedroom. Dropping you down onto a king sized bed, you look around in awe. His chair, desk, the set up with his games. This was really happening.
“Won’t have to jerk off into this tonight after all.” Jeno holds up your shirt with a smile. Your mouth falls open yet again, in total astonishment. Jeno pulls off his shirt, unbuttoning his pants watching you. You feel heated, worked up already just staring at the alpha revealing himself. His body even more perfect than you could have ever imagined.
“Alpha.. “ Jeno pulls down his pants, hard cock springing free. Your chest rising and falling with speed, gazing in awe. He’s wasn’t big, no not at all, he was monstrous. An alpha crafted by an artists hands with time and care. Your eyes watered up just imagining Jeno splitting you open. He moves onto the bed, straddling your thighs. Hard cock swinging with each move of his hips. Jeno lifts your hand placing it around his size. You let out a cry from the back of your throat, tears slipping out. Your hand not able to squeeze anything more than the tip.
“Alpha, knot me. P-please kn-..knot me.” You stutter out. So overcome with too many thoughts, too much pleasure. The man you’d been fantasizing about for the last two years hovering above you. Bare, ready to destroy your insides. His hands slide up your thighs, pushing your dress up. Jeno takes in a deep inhale, slick coating your thighs an embarrassing amount.
“You smell so fucking good. Feel like my head’s about to explode.” Jeno leans down, shoving his face between your legs. Biting at the cotton of your soaked underwear, sucking the wetness out of the fabric. You pull your dress off the rest of the way tossing it aside, hips stuttering against his mouth. When Jeno lifts his face to look at you, his chin and lips are dripping in your wetness.
“So wet for me omega” Jeno gathers the fabric of your panties, pulling them up until your folds squeeze out around it. You hiss with an arch, the fabric rubbing against your clit with each pull. More slick rushes out, streaming down past your ass onto Jeno’s bed. He licks over his lips, glaring down at you with ferocity behind his eyes. Hand slapping down against your soaking center harshly. The smack delivering droplets of slick into the air.
“Such a good girl.” Jeno slaps your pussy again, hand landing harshly covered in slick. You grit your teeth together whimpering, shoving your hips up begging for more.
“Jeno..fuck me please.” You shed many tears, admiring the way your slick gleams across his lower stomach. Jeno moves fast, pulling your ruined underwear aside. He settles between your legs, pulling your thighs around his hips with a firm grip on you. Cock sliding between your folds, covering in your wetness. He licks at your hot tears, leaving small pecks in their place.
“Gonna be the best omega for me aren’t you? Take all my knot. Suck out all my cum.” You nod rapidly in response. Too strung out, high on pleasure and heat to get words out. Jeno lines up to your cunt prodding at your entrance. He felt so large, larger than any you’d ever taken. Jeno pushes in slowly, walls fluttering around his cock head trying to accommodate around his size. Your eyes roll back far into your head, lower half on fire.
“Feel so good. Tight little pussy squeezing around me so good omega.” Jeno stares down between you watching every inch of himself disappear. He mumbles swears to himself, drool dripping out of his mouth watching the bulge form in your stomach.
“That has to hurt baby.” He grits out, fully seething inside of you. You pant loudly, entire body rising and falling. White spots clouding your vision. Your hands tremble, reaching for Jeno’s shoulders.
“Fill me up, fuck me..full..of your knot.” You manage to stutter out between deep breaths. Jeno’s face drops into your neck, nose inhaling over your scent gland. He grinds into you a few times, letting you get used to the size stretching you wide open. Jeno squeezes at your thighs pulling his hips back. Falling into a rough pace, fucking you into the bed. One of your hands slips down his chest, reaching between your bodies. Fingers sliding down your walls, squeezing at his girth with every thrust.
“Al-alpha please..” you whimper, rubbing at your clit only once. Clenching down around his size, Jeno’s hips stuttering, thrusting past your orgasm. Slick squirting out enough to jump into the air past Jeno’s head. Your stomach hollows in, emptying out. Jeno’s hips unrelenting chasing his own climax. “J-jeno...alpha!” You shout out, head falling back. Jeno pounds into you mercilessly, bed shaking so hard beneath your bodies.
Loud groans and gasps escape Jeno’s lips into your skin. His thrusts never faltering, deeply reaching inside you. He sits up on his knees shoving your thighs forward, throwing his body weight into every thrusts.
“That’s a good omega. Takes everything, deserves to be filled.” Jeno thrust in deep with a groan, stilling as his knot finally expands. Your cunt clinging around him, looking swollen and abused. He groans out whines, cum spurting inside you. Both of your eyes gazing in awe watching the way your stomach bloats.
“That’s it baby. Take all my fucking cum.” Jeno’s eyes squeeze shut, nose scrunching up with the last spurt releasing. You push your hips forward, biting down on your lip. He looks down at you with crazed wide opened eyes.
“Fuck me with your knot. Don’t stop.” You sigh, grinding against the size locked inside of you. Jeno falls forward, smoothing hair out of your face with a jolt of his hips.
“Holy shit.”
You weakly limp into your apartment, moving like a snail toward the kitchen. Jaemin opens an eye, groaning from the couch with a bag of frozen veggies melting on his head.
“Are you just getting in? I thought you were asleep?” He questions. You pour yourself a cup of coffee from the pot he’d made already. Before you answer, there’s a knock at the door. You groan, waving for Jaemin to get up and answer it. He grunts lifting himself up, dragging toward to the knocking.
“I’m coming! Geesh..” Jaemin pulls the door open, mouth hanging instantly. Jeno lights up, looking around him.
“Hey! You forgot your phone!” He waves it around in the air. Jaemin gawking back and forth between the two of you. You slowly limp over, Jeno showing concern.
“Why didn’t you let me carry you up here? I knew you were sore” he frowns, moving next to Jaemin. You let out a soft smile, Jaemin the embodiment of ‘what the fuck’.
“It’s ok.” You look to Jaemin, tapping his chin to shut his mouth. “By the way, don’t hate you anymore.”
Alpha Camboys Are Ruining My Life—>
Tag: @seuomo
2K notes · View notes
luvdsc · 9 months ago
pussy blocked.
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Y/N’s unofficial guide on how to be a heartbreaker:
1. have fun. 2. never stay the night. 3. always be the first one to leave. 4. never hook up with the same person twice. 5. don’t fall in love with boys like lee jeno.
pairing :: lee jeno x reader genre :: angst, comedy, fluff ⋮ fuckboy/girl + college au word count :: 31,360 words warnings :: y/n has a breakdown at one point, dick jokes, sexual innuendos, implied sex but it’s like a romcom movie where we skip to the morning after because i don’t write about places where the sun doesn’t shine, and of course it’s not a luvdsc fic without a whole bunch of mutual pining playlist :: break my heart (hey violet) ⋆ lowkey (niki) ⋆ pancakes (lany) ⋆ i left a party for you (pilar victoria) ⋆ blurry (jp saxe) ⋆ slow (shy martin) ⋆ we’re fucked, it’s fine (jeremy zucker) ⋆ happiness (taylor swift) ⋆ this is how you fall in love (jeremy zucker & chelsea cutler) + extended playlist here. author’s note :: this is me putting my biggest fears on blast :’) ty to ti @m88n, steph @aqiaquas, tk god @eggyukhei, and lana @choerrypuffs for being my biggest cheerleaders !!! and especially to @wincore​ thank you for listening to all my incoherent ramblings and ideas and accepting it all within an hour of us starting to talk LOL ily moon ♡
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i. the devil wears leather jackets.
“Thoughts on leather jackets?”
Yeeun hoists herself onto the scratched counter of the tiny bathroom, cheap neon strips of flashing lights pasted around the edges of the ceiling and the booming bass of the music barely muffled by the closed door. She swings her legs, the heels of her boots banging lightly against the cabinet beneath her.
“They’re cute. Why? Don’t you already have like, three of them?” Your fingers curl around the lip gloss your best friend offers to you. You thank her before you lean forward, uncapping the makeup and spreading an even, glossy coat over your lips.
“Not on me!” She taps her manicured fingers against her thigh rhythmically. “Actually, maybe on me. There’s a really good sale going on at Madewell right now. Maybe I’ll get one.”
“Another night of drunk retail therapy?” You pucker your lips, angling your face slightly to check that you had applied enough of the shimmery gloss. You quickly adjust the satin white crop top you have on that makes your boobs look phenomenal. Perfect. It’s the first party of your final year at university, and you would very much like to start it off with a bang and leave with a cute guy tonight.
“Sober me will thank me tomorrow.” She waves her hand dismissively before taking back the gloss from you and shoving it unceremoniously into her bra (because one hand holding a purse means one less hand holding a drink) before pushing herself off from her counter perch. “Anyway, you’re missing the point! What do you think of boys in leather jackets?”
You narrow your eyes at her, scrutinizing her fidgeting figure through the mirror. “Alright, spill it. Who’s this about?”
“I overheard Mark telling Yukhei that Jeno was asking about you.”
You temporarily pause in place, horror flashbacks already playing like a montage at the mention of him, before facing your friend, who’s already looking at you expectantly. “Did he say why?”
“Who knows? He started throwing up on Yukhei’s shoes, so I had to move away from the target zone.”
You wince at that. Poor Mark was always a lightweight and yet, he always accepts whatever drink Donghyuck hands him. And the latter always mixes concoctions with cheap vodka making up at least 40% of the contents.
“Isn’t this exciting though? The Lee Jeno is interested in you,” she squeals, grabbing onto your arm excitedly.
“I’ve been there. Freshman year, two minutes and beard burn. Literally, the worst experience of my life. Zero out of ten, no stars on Yelp, would swipe left on Tinder, maybe even report him to save other people from the horror.”
“Okay, some points were made, but he must’ve gotten better, right? It’s been like three years. Unless he paid all those girls to talk about his dick game.” She taps her finger against her chin, pondering thoughtfully. “You know, I feel like that’s what Jaemin does. Like he seriously can’t be that great, but I hear a different girl gush about him in every class.”
“No, I can confirm. Jaemin’s a sweetheart. He gave me a water bottle and Advil on the way out. He even made me breakfast before I left. Honestly, I would hook up with him again just for those blueberry pancakes.” You turn and twist the doorknob open. “Anyway, it’s a big house. I doubt I’ll run into hi—”
Speak of the devil and he shall appear in all his leather clad, silver necklace and rings, low dipping shirt, and black ripped skinny jeans glory.
Lee Jeno: the walking cliché of every teenage girl’s wildest dreams and every mother’s nightmare. He’s living, breathing proof that bad boys who wear the typical leather jacket and drive a sleek car with one hand on the steering wheel, but also have a hidden soft side (because you caught him smuggling a stray cat into his dorm once during sophomore year) actually exist. It’s Lee Jeno with a different girl wrapped around his finger every night or morning or even sometimes mid-afternoon; Lee Jeno with his pretty eye smile that can make anyone swoon; Lee Jeno with his classic fuckboy tendencies that you cannot understand for the life of you why so many girls, and even some boys, fall for so willingly.
Or for you, Lee Jeno: the boy who was your first and absolute worst hookup way back in freshman year. It’s more like a burning, fiery meteor crash landing than a pleasant stroll down memory lane when you think of him. He’s the reason you desperately wished you listened to Jennie when she told you to find an older, more experienced boy to have your first college hookup with, and not a fellow lowly freshman. In your defense, upperclassmen were big and scary, and Jeno—the cute boy from one of your classes who was showing you pictures of his three cats back home and profusely sweating away in his leather jacket because he wanted to look cool at his first frat party—seemed relatively harmless that night.
You were sorely mistaken. Literally. That memory still gives you PTSD. You had the stache rash, beard burn, whatever you want to call it, to prove it. To put it lightly, it felt like razor burns in the most unpleasant intimate places because a certain someone didn’t think having stubble (which he was weirdly proud of) would make a difference. It sure as hell made all the difference because those two minutes were the most miserable two minutes of your entire twenty-two years of life. Not even the seven Jell-o shots you had before that could help.
Even worse, he didn’t even make you see stars, not even a single damn measly one, but for once, you were thanking the gods for the short timing that night. He certainly made quite the impression in only 120 seconds. And to top it off, he didn’t even call you after that night.
So yeah, you aren’t really a fan of the guy. No matter how stupidly attractive he still is. Especially when he dons his stupid leather jacket. The one he let you borrow that same night after he spilled jungle juice on you. And the very same one he’s wearing right now.
“Y/N.” Jeno cocks his head to the side, the corners of his lips quirking up into an all too familiar smirk. “I was just looking for you.”
“I didn’t know we were playing hide and seek, but congrats, you found me.” You start to brush past him, motioning for Yeeun to help you make a quick getaway.
“Wait, can we talk?” His hand reaches out to circle your wrist, and you stop.
“About what?” You say flatly, shaking his arm away, and from the corner of your eye, you can see Yeeun quietly creeping away. She gives you a thumbs up and a wink as you desperately try to signal for her to come back, but to no avail.
“How’s Hyunjin?” he asks abruptly, and you raise an eyebrow at him before shrugging. “Who knows? We broke up two months ago.”
“Oh, really? My condolences.”
You narrow your eyes at him. “At least try to sound a little more sincere than that. Why are you asking anyway? What do you want, Jeno?”
“Let’s fuck.”
If you were taking a sip of one of Donghyuck’s cursed drinks right now, you would have accidentally spat it out right in his face. And then tossed the rest of it onto him on purpose.
“Wow, is this how you get all the girls into your bed? Real charming,” you say, sarcasm dripping off of every word. It’s a wonder how your panties didn’t just magically drop with such a romantic offer.
“You asked what I wanted,” He replies, trailing behind you closely as you weave through the dancing bodies and make your way to the kitchen. Lord knows you’re gonna need a drink if he insists on continuing this conversation. “So that’s one of my points. The other point might need a few minutes, depending on your answer.”
“Your dick is rated e for everyone, and I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole.”
“That’s okay, you can use your mouth instead. I’m not picky.”
“Oh my god.” You nearly choke at that, and Jeno has a massive grin on his face, looking like the cat that ate the canary. You immediately proceed to give him a different type of bird, and he laughs.
“You're hot, I’m hot, we’re both single, and I know you aren’t batshit crazy, so why not?”
“How do you know I’m not crazy?”
“You never mass publicized our uh, you know…”
“The razor burn fiasco?” You stop at the drinks counter, crossing your arms over your chest, and he grimaces, throwing his hands up in defense.
“Okay, was it really that bad? I didn’t think it was.”
“Take a cheese grater and drag your dick across it, and then you can get back to me on that question. And you only lasted two minutes. You should probably report that to the Guinness world record people.”
“That was freshman year, and I’ve gotten tons of practice now.” He flippantly dismisses your previous statement and gives you a cocky smile, rolling his tongue against the inside of his cheek.
“With who? Your hand?” You scoff, grabbing an empty red cup that looks relatively clean before pouring a little vodka and some orange juice into it. You take a sip of it cautiously, wrinkling your nose at the aftertaste. Yeah, that cup wasn’t clean at all, and you’re hit with the gross taste of cheap beer.
Jeno notices and grabs the cup from you, rummaging through the fridge to pull out a couple Jell-O shots and handing them to you. He downs your discarded drink as you eye the jiggly alcohol skeptically.
“You like those, right? I remember you had a bunch of them back then.” He shrugs, and you feel oddly touched that he would actually remember your drink preference. Of course, it’s not like the options were that vast at a college party. It’s either beer, vodka, a mix of it all, or Jell-o. But still.
Oh god, you can’t believe this is what your inner monologue is saying. Are you really swooning over a guy who knows what drink you like? The bar for men has really been set too low. The bar may not be your son, but you desperately need to raise it. Plus, you definitely weren’t going to tell him the only reason you kept taking those shots on that fateful night was because you were nervous and he was cute.
“Yeah, I like them, thanks,” you mutter before swirling your finger around the edges of the disposable container and tossing the contents into your mouth. You throw the empty plastic into the nearest trash bag tied to one of the cupboard handles.
“So I heard you were looking for me,” you start as you prepare another Jell-O shot. “And I highly doubt it’s just because you want to fuck. So why?”
“Just thought it’d be fun. For old times’ sake, right?”
“Bullshit. Everyone knows you and Jaemin have that messed up body count competition going on. You do know that you have to sleep with someone new to increase that, right?” You maneuver yourself around to the other side of the counter to take a handful of chips.
“Yes, I am well aware, thank you.” His eyes follow you as he leans against the counter, fishing out from the large plastic bowl one of the individually wrapped chocolate candies Jaemin impulsively bought at the Target sale.
“What’s the real reason, Jeno?” You stare at him, cocking your head to the side. “You can’t possibly tell me it’s because I gave you the best blow job you ever had because eighteen year old me definitely wasn’t that good at it yet.”
He laughs at that, teeth flashing as his lips pull into a genuine smile for once, and you have to hide your own. God, this is why girls get hung over cute boys, isn’t it? Light travels faster than the speed of sound, and you’re getting sucked into how pretty his smile is until he opens his mouth and ruins it all.
“Fine. Real reason, honest to god. You’re the only one who got a shit experience. My track record is perfect, except for you, and it bothers me.”
“So you’re saying your ego is so massive that you can’t jack off properly unless you know you rocked every girl’s world?” You wrinkle your nose, an expression of disbelief written all over your face.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Oh my god, you’re such an asshole.”
“Hey, I’m an honest asshole. I’m not stringing along anyone or pretending to be interested just to get into someone’s pants. They all know it’s just a one night deal, and they’re fine with it. Or more than fine actually.” He winks at you, and you fake gag.
“You’re telling me that all those girls were satisfied?”
“Hey, babe,” he calls out to a pretty girl dancing near the doorway to the living room. She turns to face the two of you, and eyes slightly widening, you recognize her as Sei from your Sustainable Operation Management class. You always thought she was a little more on the uptight side, but apparently not. “How was your experience with me? Scale of one to ten.”
“Oh, ten,” she says immediately before turning to you. “Jeno does this amazing move with his tongue where he—”
“Okay, thank you, I will never be drunk enough to hear about your sexcapades in detail.” You take a vodka shot, hoping its effects will hit you fast soon.
“Thanks, babe.” He winks at her, and she nods, blowing him a kiss before tipsily swaying out the door again. He faces you again with a cocky expression. “Wanna hear a review from someone else with personal experience?”
“No. And ‘babe’? Really?”
“You don’t have to remember their name if you call them all the same thing,” he says nonchalantly, pouring himself another cup of beer, and you frown at him, a nasty look of disgust emerging on your face.
“If that’s supposed to make me want to sleep with you, you’re way off, babe.”
“That doesn’t work because I know you know my name, Y/N.”
Scoffing, you start your walk towards the living room in search of Yeeun. She has the car keys, and you’re ready to go back to your shared apartment and crash. Plus, the carton of Ben and Jerry’s in your freezer back home is really calling your name right about now.
Jeno follows behind you closely, and when you suddenly pause and turn to face him, you catch him off guard. He bumps into you, and the contents of his solo cup sloshes onto the front of your shirt.
“Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” he panics, putting the cup down somewhere before frantically looking around for napkins or towels, literally anything to wipe it off, but comes up empty handed.
Fan-freaking-tastic. This feels exactly like how your first night with him started, but this time, you’re going to have to take your shirt off for the wrong reason.
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ii. hey send pussy pics (read at 2:32 a.m.)
The two of you end up back in square one, standing in the same cramped bathroom once more as Jeno insists on wetting some paper towels for you and helping you clean up the alcohol soaked shirt that was unpleasantly sticking against your skin.
“Didn't you pour your drink on me last time, too?” You peel off your shirt, balling it up and running it under the faucet. “You know, if you wanted me to take off my clothes, you didn’t have to go this far.”
His eyes grow wide as he splutters, “I didn’t do it on purpose! I’m sorry! I swear, it was an accident—!”
“Relax, I’m just joking.” You grin at him, feeling a little endeared at his response (Perhaps, it reminds you of freshman Jeno. You miss that cat loving dude. Too bad he’s after a different kind of cat now). He lets out an audible sigh of relief, and you laugh. “Can you hold this? I wanna wipe off the rest that’s on my skin. It’s kinda feeling gross and sticky.”
“Why does this vaguely sound like a conversation we had before?” He hands you the paper towels and grabs your shirt, beginning to scrub out the stain. You can’t stop the laughter from bubbling up in your throat again as you try to clean yourself up as best as possible.
“So do you still pick up girls by showing them pictures of Bongsik, Seol, and Nal?”
Jeno pauses, shifting to look over at you, and says softly, “You remember their names?”
“You can’t expect me to not know their names after looking at pics of them for over an hour,” you answer, huffing slightly when you see that the beer stained one of the front pockets of your jeans. You’re going to have to see if you can borrow Tzuyu’s Tide pen tomorrow and scrub it out. There’s no way you’re going to walk to the laundromat tomorrow morning and spend $2.25 in quarters just to wash a single pair of pants. Even if it’s your favorite pair that makes your butt look like a million bucks.
“How are they doing anyway? Does Bongsik still bully Nal?”
“Yes,” he snorts, holding up your soaked shirt after wringing it out. You reach for the hair dryer in the bottom cabinet and plug it in before directing the hot air towards the wet fabric. “She acts like she hates him, but my mom sent me pictures of them napping together in front of the window.”
“I remember you promised me you’d send me pics of them, but you never did,” you mention, pouting slightly. “I was really looking forward to those.”
“I mean, I was going to, but…” He trails off, shaking his head slightly. “Sorry, I guess I must’ve forgotten.”
“Yeah, like you forgot to call me the next day,” you mutter offhandedly. If Jeno had heard your remark over the loud whirring of the hair dryer, he certainly didn’t say anything about it. The two of you stand there quietly, conversation coming to an awkward standstill at that.
“I think this is the best it’s gonna get,” he says awkwardly ten minutes later after the dryer gives out a few last dying splutters. Your shirt still looks somewhat damp, but you suppose he’s right, judging by the way the blow dryer seems to be taking its last dying breath.
“Yeah, I guess so,” you sigh, staring at your shirt. Wearing a white top doesn’t seem like such a good idea anymore, seeing how your bright red bra would be completely visible underneath the fabric, almost glowing like how anything white stands out under a black light. “I think I’m just gonna head ho—”
The banging on the door cuts you off, and you and Jeno nearly jump at the sudden noise. You reach over and open the door, and Mark nearly topples over on you.
“Sorry, I just needed to take a pis—Y/N?” His eyes grow round when he sees his friend behind you. “Holy shit, were you two—?”
“No!” you shout, shaking your head vehemently until Mark’s eyes darts towards your shirt in Jeno’s hand and then to your shirtless torso. You immediately cross your arms over your chest, and Jeno takes a step forward to cover your figure.
Mark’s cheeks grow red at an alarmingly fast pace, and he stumbles back, averting his eyes to the ceiling. “Fuck, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see anything!”
“No, wait—”
The sound of Mark blindly grabbing for the door and slamming it shut interrupts you, and you’re left standing there, cheeks growing warmer by the second and mouth opening and closing like a fish.
“Oh my god, now he thinks we’re hooking up, and he’s gonna tell everyone,” you wail, wringing your hands. Jeno awkwardly hands you your shirt, and you put it on dejectedly.
“I don’t think he’ll tell anyone,” Jeno halfheartedly attempts to reassure you, but your glare shuts him down quickly. Even he knows that’s a lie.
“Mark is a blabbermouth, and he’s drunk. That’s the worst Mark combination you can possibly have.”
“We can just do it, so it’s true.”
“Can you think with your head up there, instead of the one down there for once?” You snap before rubbing your temples. “Plus, I have standards and a reputation to uphold, you know. The Iota Theta girls would kill me.”
“Hey, I’m a real catch.”
“Yeah, I’m not trying to catch the clap here.”
“For your information, I’m clean,” Jeno scowls at you, shoving his hands into his pockets, “We all know what safe sex is. This isn’t high school.”
“Thank god, having more of you running around sounds like my worst nightmare.”
Jeno starts to protest, but your phone goes off with a loud ping! in your back pocket, and you pull it out. You must have forgotten to change it to silent mode earlier. A text from Yeeun only dampens your mood even more than your shirt does because apparently, she’s gone back to some guy named Yugyeom’s place. Now, you’re all for your best friend getting some, but she seems to have forgotten that her bra holds the keys to the car amongst other things, leaving you stranded out here in the Nu Chi Theta house (Also, Yugyeom is certainly in for a surprise when the bra comes off).
“Yeeun took off with some dude, and she has the car keys,” you sigh, pulling up the car service app. “I’m gonna get an Uber and call it a night.”
Jeno grabs your hand before you can tap to accept a ride. “Wait, are you gonna Uber alone?”
“No, Casper the friendly ghost is gonna do a rideshare with me, too.” You shrug off his hand, and he groans in frustration, carding his fingers through his hair.
“No, I’m being serious. You can’t get in an Uber alone in a wet shirt at 2 in the morning. The driver could be a creep, and that just isn’t safe at all.”
He’s right, you realize, suddenly hyperaware of how exposed you are in your state of dress and how stupid you would’ve been to do that. All those years of watching Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, and you had learned absolutely nothing. Olivia Benson would be shaking her head at you right now. You can already hear the funky mystery music theme song playing.
“Okay, then what do you want me to do? Walk home? My other friends are all probably wasted by now.”
“I’ll drive you back.”
“What? No, I can’t let you do that.” You shake your head stubbornly. “I’ll just go and see if I can find Chaeyoung or Yeji and we can walk back together.”
“Pretty sure I saw them both go upstairs with some of my frat bros like thirty minutes ago.” You stay silent at that, and he sighs, exasperated. “Can you just accept my help? Either you can get in my car and I’ll drive you back or you can walk and I’ll look like a creep slowly driving next to you the entire time, but I’m not letting you go back alone because I don’t want to see your face on the 9 o’clock news. I bet you’re gonna come back from the grave and cockblock me for the rest of my life.”
“First off, don’t be so full of yourself. I wouldn’t spend my time watching you bore another girl to death. I’m not into that. Secondly, If I show up on the news, make sure they pick a good picture of me. Preferably one of the cute pics on my insta from Capri,” you inform him, and he makes a noise of disbelief before a hint of a smile breaks through.
“You're unbelievable, you know that? C’mon, I’m driving you back. ” He shakes his head, pulling his car keys from his pocket. You start to open your mouth, and he beats you to it. “And yes, I only had that one drink you made earlier, so it’s safe.”
You close your mouth, slumping your shoulders as you follow behind him. He glances over his shoulder, throwing out casually, “Anyway, I think they should use the picture of you in that French art museum.”
“You mean the Louvre? Wait, have you been stalking me on insta?”
“I mean we follow each other, but sure.” He pushes his way through the crowded living room, and you stick closely behind him, trying to not get jostled too much by the drunken horde of other college students attempting to forget about their C’s on midterms and get laid tonight instead.
“That pic is from two years ago, and you only started following me a couple months ago!”
“Wow, now look at who’s keeping track.”
You let out a huff at that, but have no other response, pursing your lips slightly. When you finally reach the front door and step outside, the breeze that blows by sends shivers up your spine, the freezing weather being exponentially worse with the state of your shirt amping up the coldness. You wrap your arms around yourself, goosebumps forming on your skin as you try to create warmth from friction, rubbing your hands on your arms to no avail.
Suddenly, the welcomed feeling of warmth spreads across you like wildfire, and your eyes widen when you realize that Jeno had wordlessly draped his jacket over your figure before continuing the trek to his car. Hurrying after him, you shove your hands through the sleeves, your fingertips barely peeking out from the ends of it. The jacket envelops you warmly, and you tug the front of it closed to keep your body heat in. Faint traces of Jeno’s cologne clings to it, and you find yourself not minding it at all, pleasantly surprised by the woodsy, but slight citrusy, musky scent.
“Thanks,” you mumble when Jeno pulls open the passenger door for you, and you get in, making yourself comfortable, silently impressed by the neat and clean interior. There’s a cute polaroid of his three cats tucked in the driver’s sun visor. He shuts the door and makes his way to the driver’s side, sliding into the seat and starting the car up. You enter your address into Google maps, waiting for it to finish calculating the route.
The drive is quiet, save for the mellow music Jeno plays on his phone through the aux cord. The lack of conversation is such a stark contrast to before, but you don’t know exactly what to say. You glance over at him, studying his features clad in the passing streetlights.
Jeno is, without a doubt, handsome with his bright eyes framed by the longest lashes that you really wished you had yourself (it’s so unfair how boys always seem to have the prettiest eyelashes), pretty smile that causes those very same eyes to form moon crescents, and obviously, killer body. But most of all, the confidence he practically exudes is a stark contrast to when you had met him all those years ago.
“Enjoying the view?” he says casually, and you roll your eyes, turning your gaze to the road in front of you as he laughs.
“I’m just trying to figure out how you managed to get all those girls in bed.” You fiddle with the zipper of his jacket absentmindedly, and he glanced over at you.
“I asked them nicely.”
You snort. “Oh, really? And it worked?”
“I think my record speaks for itself.”
You sneer at that, but say no more. He taps his fingers against his thigh, while his other hand firmly holds onto the steering wheel. You briefly wonder why that move is found to be universally attractive, especially if the guy puts his hand on your thigh. Maybe all girls’ brains were hardwired to think that way.
Your phone announces that you have arrived at your destination, and you unbuckle your seatbelt, getting out of the car and turning to say thanks, before hesitating to close the car door when you realize Jeno’s leather jacket is still draped around your figure. Your hand hovers over the door handle before you pull back and start to take off the outerwear.
“Keep it,” Jeno says, noticing your dilemma. “Wouldn’t want you catching hypothermia. You can just give it back to me some other time.”
“The apartment building’s door is right there. I’m not gonna catch a cold after being out here for ten seconds,” you reason, starting to slide off one sleeve.
“Yeah, but this gives me an excuse to see you again.”
You freeze, face warming up at the unexpected answer. Your mind nearly short circuits, and you are at a loss of words for the first time tonight, mouth popping open in surprise. Jeno looks rather satisfied at your reaction, and he reaches over to shut the passenger door and then rolls down the window with a grin.
“So I’ll see you tomorrow with my jacket, yeah? I’ll text you my address.”
“W-wait, do you even have my number?” you manage to stammer out at last, and his smile widens even more.
“You gave it to me already, didn’t you?” Your eyes widen slightly, and he laughs, “You should go inside now. It’s cold.”
Speechless, all you can do is numbly wave at him before running towards the apartment complex’s entrance. When you make it inside the building, you turn to see Jeno still waiting out there. He waves at you before driving away. Cheeks growing warm, you turn away and make your way to your apartment.
Later, before you finally go to bed, you notice the barrage of notifications you received, specifically three texts from an unknown number.
[ 4:23 a.m. ] xxx-423-2508: 727 Maisie Street, Apartment #22
[ 4:24 a.m. ] xxx-423-2508: {image.jpeg}
[ 4:24 a.m. ] xxx-423-2508: bongsik, seol, and nal say good night :)
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iii. return of the pancakes™
After your 8 a.m. Linux Analysis and Design class, you drop by Jeno’s apartment, the borrowed leather jacket folded over your arm. You vaguely remember coming here during your sophomore year spring semester at the end of the whole Greek row carnival fundraiser week, but for a different boy entirely.
You knock on the door, shifting from one foot to the other as you wait for someone to answer. It finally opens, and Jaemin is looking at you with a wide grin on his face (honestly, it’s a little unsettling how perfect his smile is).
“Hello, Y/N, fancy seeing you here,” he greets you, leaning the door frame, spatula in hand and a flowery “Kiss The Cook” apron tied around his waist (it was a joke gift from Jisung, who doesn’t find it so funny anymore after Jaemin keeps demanding kisses every time he wears it within his vicinity).
“Uh, hi, Jaemin, I just wanted to return Jeno’s jacket.” You lift up your hand to show off the outerwear as if to emphasize your point. “I’ll just… leave this here with you, and can you give it back to him?”
“Woah, woah, what’s the rush? You should come in and give it to him yourself.” Jaemin wriggles his eyebrows at you, and you’re a little taken aback. How does this dude have this much energy to flirt or do whatever the hell he’s doing at 9:45 in the morning? You’re not even fully awake until after lunch and your daily gym session with Soyeon later.
“Uh, you know what, it might be easier if I just drop it off and leave.” You try to hand it off and back away all at the same time.
“I’m making pancakes,” Jaemin says suddenly before gesturing towards the kitchen. “Do you want some?”
“Ah, no, I really should… God damn it, yeah, I really do want some,” you answer, defeated, as you trudge into their apartment, following Jaemin inside. You raise an eyebrow when you see Jaemin essentially twirl his way back into the kitchen area.
“Great! So do you want chocolate chips, blueberries, or plain?” He asks, turning up his kilowatt smile to an even brighter notch. He putters around the stove, flipping the current pancake smoothly and onto the plate. If you weren’t so sleep deprived, that move might have made you a little turned on. Guys who cook are honestly so attractive. No, wait, correction: guys who cook well are hot (Sorry, Mark).
“Chocolate chip, please.” You sit at their tiny kitchen table, crossing your legs and resting your chin on the palm of your hand. “So where's the girl?”
Jaemin chuckles, eyes sparkling, as he pours some batter into the pan and tosses on some chocolate chips. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Please, we all know you make pancakes in the morning after a one night stand. I even have firsthand experience.”
“I make them whenever a girl’s here in the morning. And there’s one here right now.” He winks at you, placing a perfect chocolate chip pancake in front of you. “Maple syrup is on the counter, and butter and whipped cream are in the fridge.”
You grab all the toppings from their respective places and bring them back to the table. “Did Jeno tell you I was stopping by?”
“Of course he did,” Jaemin snorts, rotating the pan to evenly spread out the batter. “Jeno tells me everything.”
You spread the butter evenly across the pancake before drizzling on some syrup. Cutting up a piece, you spear it with your fork and almost moan out loud when you take the first bite. “So is this about—holy crap, this is so good—the body count thing? I tried to explain to him that he can’t count it twice if he fucks the same person again.”
“What? No, this isn’t about—Okay, let’s just say this. Jeno is an emotionally constipated asshole, but he’s still a good asshole.” Jaemin slides the spatula under the pancake, flipping it over neatly before shaking the pan lightly.
“A good asshole, wha—Wait, what does this have to do with anything?” You furrow your eyebrows, confused, as you take another bite of the pancake. “What are you even talking about?”
“He’s…” He sighs, leaning the spatula against an empty plate before he runs his hand through his hair frustratedly. “At this point, he only knows how to speak fratboy, so it’s confusing and he’s a little dumb sometimes, but he actually l—”
“Who the hell are you talking t—Oh. Y/N. Hi.” Jeno emerges from his room, eyes widening when he realizes you’re sitting at the kitchen table, happily eating the second pancake Jaemin just made for you.
“Hey.” You wave at him before motioning towards the jacket you draped over the couch. “I brought your jacket back. And then Jaemin lured me in with his pancakes—-and before you say it, I’m not talking about his ass.”
Jeno snorts loudly as Jaemin lets out a noise of offense, previous conversation now forgotten. “You come into my home where I’m making you free pancakes, and you have the audacity to insult my ass. My ass is beautiful and shapely and perfect.”
“Yeah, okay, Jaemin. If I ever need a flat surface to write on, I’ll be sure to call you.” You munch on the rest of your pancake, ignoring the sounds of indignation coming from the aforementioned boy. “Anyway, nice boxers, Jeno.”
The feline patterned boxers with the words “PUSSY MAGNET” painted right across the crotch area has you struggling to keep a straight face, and Jeno suddenly feels very exposed, even though everyone in the room has already seen him naked before. He throws his hands up to cover his bare chest and then his lower region, struggling and wishing that he slept with a shirt and sweatpants on for once.
Cheeks quickly turning a brilliant shade of red, Jeno silently curses Renjun for buying these boxers for him during last year’s Secret Santa exchange as a joke. It’s not his fault he was down to his last pair of clean underwear, and this was all that’s left. At least he didn’t decide to sleep in his birthday suit as usual. Actually, now that he thinks about it, that might’ve been the better option.
“I’m gonna… go put on some clothes,” he mutters, quickly retreating back into his room, and you stifle a laugh before focusing your attention back to the chocolate-y goodness in front of you. Na Jaemin truly is a god in the kitchen (and the bedroom, but you would never admit that out loud to his smug, handsome face).
Jaemin’s eyes dart between you and his best friend, the gears quickly turning in his head. It suddenly makes sense why Jeno asked him to make pancakes this morning.
“Y/N,” Jaemin calls out, and you look up at him, tilting your head to the side slightly. He hesitates for a moment. “Just… don’t be too mean to him please.”
Your eyebrows bunch together in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Nevermind, it’s nothing.” He shakes his head, pouring out some more batter and sprinkling on the chocolate chips. “Another pancake?”
He slides another one onto your plate, and your eyes shine at the sight of it. You excitedly add a pat of butter before pouring the syrup and piling on a ton of whipped cream. Wriggling in your seat excitedly, you slice off a bite sized piece. You smile happily at him, and he falters slightly.
“Thank you, Jaemin.”
Seeing the way your eyes light up, Jaemin understands why Jeno likes you so much and is willing to set himself up for heartbreak for a second time with you.
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iv. studying is an abbreviation for ‘student dying’.
“So how’s it going with Jeno?”
You freeze in your seat, stopping midway in calculating the present and future values of stocks. You should’ve known that when Yeeun calls for an emergency study session and books a private room in the library, it would turn into an interrogation time. She even buttered you up beforehand by buying you a passion fruit iced tea lemonade with sweetener and a freshly baked bear claw from the cafe on the first floor. Your best friend in question looks expectantly at you for your answer, while Giselle looks equally as shocked as you.
“You’re dating Jeno?” Your other friend asks incredulously, “Why didn’t you tell me?! Juyeon asked me if you were single, and I said yes.”
“We’re not dating! Yeeun is making a big deal out of nothing,” you protest, resuming your studies as you jot down the final answer in your notebook.
“She’s up at 3 a.m. texting him,” Yeeun spills, looking directly at Giselle and ignoring the indignant look you throw her way. “And she hasn’t booty called Moonbin in the past three weeks.”
“No.” Giselle’s eyes grow round, and she immediately turns to you, abandoning her assignment entirely at this point. “Didn’t you say Moonbin was the best? He’s a dancer, he’s literally so flexible, and I bet he can literally hold you up the entire time, like have you seen his arms? Like oh my god, he’s so hot.”
Yeeun is nodding furiously in agreement, and you fidget in your seat, biting your bottom lip. “I just haven’t had time, and Jeno just texts me cat pictures. It’s no big deal. I’ve been so busy with all the senior projects in all my classes. I have one due soon, and we have to dissect Boeing’s management plans and write up some proposals, but Minho still hasn’t done his part, and the rest of the group are freaking out about it.”
“That’s why you need a little destressing session,” Giselle chimes in before leaning forward and saying in a quieter, teasing voice, “I heard Minho’s a really fun one, too. Maybe you can ask him to come over and work on the project.”
“God, no, I wish, but Hyunjin’s in the same frat and super close with him,” you groan, thinking back to your ex. “Not that I care too much about it, but it just gets way too messy if you sleep with your ex’s friends, y’know? But I can hook up either one of you with him if you want.”
“I can’t. I’m kinda seeing someone,” Yeeun confesses, and you and Giselle immediately whip your heads towards your friend, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.
“What? Who? Spill,” you demand, and Giselle nods vigorously in agreement. Yeeun turns pinker, a shy smile appearing on her face as she fiddles with her pen. “Yugyeom and I have been texting more, and we’re planning on getting dinner together later.”
“No way, the dude from the Theta party? You’re still talking to him?”
“I know, I know.” She waves her hand at you. “I thought the same, too, but we actually ended up talking afterwards, and it was nice, so we exchanged numbers, and well, we’re going on an actual dinner date.”
“God, does this mean I’m the only one who’s single now?” Giselle whines, frowning as she turns her attention back to her homework and writes down the next problem a little too hard with her pencil.
“Hey, I’m not dating anyone either,” you say, but the two girls give you a deadpanned look. “I’m not! Jeno and I are just friends. And you already know Hyunjin and I broke up before summer break.”
You also slept with him again a week before the school year started, but that doesn’t count. Hey, you managed to score his old flatscreen for the apartment, and he even helped you carry it up and install it, so Yeeun definitely can’t judge you too hard for it because she’s the one who binges the most dramas out of the two of you (She still occasionally likes to remind you of how you basically fucked him for a tv though). Granted, he might have given it to you under the impression that you would continue to go out with him, but it’s not your fault his mind jumped to those conclusions.
“Right. Friends who slept together before and still have the hots for each other. And go over to each other’s apartment at seven in the morning. You never willingly wake up early for anything.” Yeeun raises an eyebrow at you.
“Okay, first off, I only go over early when Jeno texts me that Jaemin has a girl over because that means he makes pancakes the next morning. Those pancakes are amazing. And secondly, Jaemin has girls over almost every night.” You inform her, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Okay, I can also vouch for the pancakes being good, but they aren’t worth losing an extra hour of sleep everyday. Maybe once a week at most,” Giselle counters, and you scowl at her. She’s really throwing you under the bus here. You’ll remember this the next time she needs your help getting out of a Yeeun-terrogation.
“Weren’t you going out with Chan though?” Yeeun directs her question to Giselle, who scrunches her nose in distaste.
“Don’t remind me, that was a complete disaster.” She rolls her eyes, flicking through her notebook. “He had a complete meltdown in Whole Foods after he told me he loved me two months into our relationship and I wouldn’t say it back. A literal grown man throwing a tantrum in the produce section— it was so embarrassing.”
“Oh my god, he did that? What did you do?” You and Yeeun are absolutely horrified, and you barely manage to get the question out.
“I left as fast as possible. Thank god I was the one who drove us there,” she sighs, shaking her head before slumping back in her seat. “You know what’s worse? I should’ve seen the red flag when he wanted me to call him ‘Dino’ in bed. Like not to judge, but I’m not about to fuck a dude who’s into prehistoric animal play or whatever.”
“God, that’s so terrible, I’m so sorry,” you say at last when you finally get over the shock of this entire train wreck, and Yeeun nods sympathetically. “I can hook you up with some good guys or girls if you want.”
“Mm, I’m not up for anything serious, but just a fun dude for a few times would be nice,” she hums, finishing up another calculus problem and jotting down the next equation. “I’m torn between doing a tinder marathon or calling up Changbin.”
“Wasn’t he the dude who brought you flowers after you hooked up with him in the dorm bathroom?”
“And the common area couch,” she admits guiltily, and your head shoots up so fast at the confession.
“That was you?”
During your freshman year, the RA called an emergency floor meeting because security cameras caught a couple going at it in the common room, specifically on the couch. Luckily for the couple, the university is too cheap to install good cameras, so their faces weren’t caught. Unluckily for the rest of the floor, you all had to shell out forty bucks to pay for a new couch and sterilization of everything else in the room.
“Guilty as charged. He left his Gucci slides in my dorm, and I still have them. Best hookup ever. I didn’t even have to do the walk of shame.” Your friend turns to you, tapping her nails against the table absentmindedly. “Are you going to the Beta Tau Sig party tonight? I think I’ll try to find someone there instead.”
“Actually, Jeno invited me to a beach bonfire, and I said I’d go.”
“So you both have dates tonight,” Giselle sighs, tapping her fingers against the table surface absentmindedly. “I guess I’ll have to drag Karina out with me this time.”
“It’s not a date,” you protest, and Yeeun gives you a look, observing you for a second before a sly smile forms on her face. “So you wouldn’t mind Giselle giving your number to Juyeon?”
“Sure, go for it,” you shrug, picking up your pencil to continue with your assignment. Your phone buzzes. You can see it’s a text from Jeno, and you want to open it, but you don’t. “You know I don’t do relationships, but I’m down for a few drinks or whatever.”
“Really? You sure?” Yeeun prods, and you give her an exasperated look. “Yes! It’s fine.”
“Okay, sent.” Giselle pipes up, waving her phone around for emphasis. Yeeun looks at you, an indescribable look on her face. “Great.”
“Great,” you echo her sentiment before the sudden realization of what you just did finally hits you like a bag of bricks. Great. For some reason, you briefly ponder over what Jeno would think, but then you shake that away and try to refocus on calculating stock dividends and EPS.
Earnings per share.
When you finally open up his text message and see it’s a picture of him and Yangyang’s cats, you wonder how many cat pictures it took for Jeno to earn a share of your affections. You lost count sometime after you created a specific album for them on your phone.
Or maybe you just didn’t want to acknowledge how fast he was growing on you, like the exponential curve on an economic business cycle. Except that once it hits its peak, it will inevitably lead to a recession, or worse, a depression.
Hurriedly, you push that thought away into the farthest crevice of your mind, sending back a slew of heart and cat emojis back before turning your phone face down and returning to your assignment.
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v. liar, liar, pants on [bon]fire.
Jeno didn’t tell you that it was a small and private gathering, so when you get out of his car, you were shocked to see that the only other girls there are Mark and Donghyuck’s girlfriends and Renjun’s friend (Although, anyone with eyes can tell that he has an obvious crush on her). The nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach continues to grow throughout the night as you sit on the large towel he brought, mere inches separating the two of you.
His oversized hoodie is draped over your figure, the sleeves almost reaching your fingertips and hem reaching midthigh. You hadn’t thought it’d be this cool out, especially with the bonfire and it still being early September, so you didn’t bring a jacket, but luckily for you, Jeno had worn the hooded sweater underneath his jean jacket. This feels like something a boyfriend would do, you silently muse before shoving that thought away. You’re clearly overthinking it.
Jaemin continues to wriggle his eyebrows at you from the other side of the bonfire whenever he catches your eye, whereas Renjun had given you a surprised look when you arrived and spares you the occasional glance here and there. You haven’t really spoken to him ever since your freshman art class, but have seen him around here and there.
You suspect the sudden cold shoulder back then has something to do with the fact that you hooked up with Jeno, but you were never really sure why. Maybe the dude just had a stick up his ass regarding one night stands, which would be kind of semi-hypocritical by association since his best friends are notorious for them.
“I think we left the s’mores stuff in the car,” Jaemin speaks up, rummaging through the bags of food and alcohol you all had piled up haphazardly in one area. “Can somebody help me get them?”
“I’ll do it,” you hastily volunteer, unable to cope with sitting here next to the cause of your worries and runaway thoughts. You quickly get up, failing to notice the way Jeno’s shoulders droop slightly when you move away.
“Hey, how’ve you been? I haven’t been able to talk to you tonight yet,” Jaemin greets you when you reach him. You quickly brush off any sand clinging to your legs and pull down the hem of your borrowed hoodie.
“Good! I’ve been good, just a little stressed with upcoming midterms,” you sigh, shoving your hands into the front pockets of the sweater as you and Jaemin walk side by side. “What about you?”
“O. Chem is kicking my ass,” he groans, kicking up some of the sand. “I’m honestly reconsidering my whole future career because of this stupid class. Maybe I’ll drop out and become the next Zuckerberg.”
“What, are you going to invent the newest Tinder? Match people based on their kinks?” you tease, and he snorts, lightly elbowing you. “That would make my life so much easier. We should include a filter for pancake haters, too. This morning, the girl called my pancakes dry.”
You gasp, looking positively scandalized. “She did not. That’s basically blasphemy. Literally sacrilegious.”
“Exactly!” Jaemin waves his hands around in emphasis. “Like bitch, please, I separate and beat my egg whites by itself and add extra butter to make my pancakes extra fluffy. I almost made Jeno use his muscles and throw her out.”
You let out a guffaw, peals of laughter escaping from your mouth, and Jaemin grins at you, stopping by the car and unlocking the trunk. “Well, I’m glad to know you agree with me. At least someone appreciates my cooking.”
“Dude, no joke, I would sleep with you again for the pancakes,” you say casually, grabbing one of the bags filled with the s’mores ingredients, and Jaemin almost chokes on his own spit before laughing loudly.
“Oh my god, you’re selling yourself for pancakes now?”
“I take cash, Venmo, PayPal, or pancakes.” You wink at him, and he laughs even harder, slinging one of the remaining two bags over his shoulder and wrapping the handles of the other one around his fingers.
“Don’t worry, you can have the pancakes for free,” he chuckles, the two of you now walking back to the bonfire.
You gasp for a second time in faux offense. “Are you saying you don’t want any of this again?” You exaggeratedly gesture to yourself.
“And are you saying you want some of this again?” Jaemin points to himself with a good natured smirk. The two of you are nearing your group of friends now, their conversations and the crackling flames growing louder. “Didn’t you call my butt pancake flat?”
“I love pancakes though,” you quip, giving him a second wink, and he splutters for a few seconds as you laugh, finally separating from him and walking back to your original spot around the bonfire. Jeno reaches out to take the bag from you, and you hand it over before sitting down next to him as he pulls out the ingredients.
“Here you go.”
Jeno hands you a couple sticks and the opened bag of marshmallows. You take it from him with a quiet “thanks”, spearing the fluffy, sugary concoctions onto two sticks before handing one to Jeno and passing the remaining items to Lana on your left. She and you had bonded earlier over your mutual dislike of your shared elective class aptly titled Shakespearean Comedies. It should've been named Shakespearean Tragedies with the way your grade on the last midterm looks. Absolutely tragic. You’re hoping the professor takes pity on the class and assigns a generous curve.
“Hyuck, there’s no way you’re gonna eat ten s’mores,” Lana chides, holding the marshmallow bag out of her boyfriend’s reach. “Why do you wanna roast that many at the same time anyway?”
“So Renjun doesn’t have any to roast.” Donghyuck beams at her, snatching the bag from her grasp. The mentioned boy frowns at him, pulling out a second unopened bag. “Jokes on you, asshole, there’s a second bag. I hope your teeth rots from all that sugar.”
“Thank you, Renjun, that’s very kind of you.” Donghyuck gives him a sickly sweet smile as he shoves the remaining marshmallows onto the twig. “At least I won’t die alone.”
“You probably shouldn’t say that when he has a pointy metal stick in his hand,” Lana remarks, shaking her head when she finally notices her boyfriend has emptied the entire bag.
Curling his fingers into fists, Renjun turns to Lana with a deadpan expression. “Please. I will give you fifty dollars if you break up with him. I’ll even throw in a free pack of bubble test sheets.”
“You know, someday I might just do it for free,” she says offhandedly, and Donghyuck almost drops his marshmallow loaded stick when he hears that. Immediately, he grabs her hand, interlacing their fingers tightly and letting out a fake laugh. “Ha ha ha, that’s so funny. What a great joke, ha ha, please laugh, too, so I know you’re kidding.”
Lana lets go of his hand to pat his cheek consolingly, but says nothing else as she focuses on roasting her marshmallow. Donghyuck continues to blubber out other pleas, and Renjun sits back, completely satisfied with the scene unfolding in front of him. His friend merely laughs, shaking her head, and you bet she’s probably used to seeing antics like this on a daily basis. Jaemin mimes cracking a whip as Jisung and Chenle laugh until one of their marshmallows drips into the fire and falls off. Judging by the loud cries, it’s probably Chenle’s that was unknowingly sacrificed to the flames. You smile as you watch the younger boys’ antics, laughing along with the rest of the group.
Meanwhile, Mark and his girlfriend remain blissfully unbothered, cuddling under a blanket and toasting their own marshmallows on a shared stick. You wonder if your future holds something like that. It must be nice to have someone by your side, someone to share with, someone to do dumb couple things with, someone to love.
You spare a quick glance at Jeno, who seems to be incredibly focused on roasting his marshmallow. He continues to stare at the toasting sweet with a serious look of concentration on his face, tongue poking out slightly and eyebrows furrowed. Cute. Your lips upturn slightly as you take another peek at the boy next to you.
Unexpectedly, the vibrations from your phone in your back pocket breaks your train of thought, and you pull it out, tapping on the screen to see the newest notification.
[ 9:09 p.m. ] xxx-115-0612: hey this is juyeon! giselle gave me your number, and i was wondering if you wanted to go out for drinks sometime?
“Your marshmallow is on fire,” Jeno remarks casually, and your head shoots up, eyes widening when they settle on the ball of fire at the end of your stick.
Dropping your phone, you quickly bring it closer to you and attempt to blow it out. There goes your dessert, literally going up in flames right in front of your eyes. When it finally extinguishes, you’re left with a sad, charred gooey mess. Wonderful. It’s the perfect representation of your life.
“Must’ve been something important since it made you commit s’more murder,” Jeno comments, and you sigh, shaking your head as you pick up your phone and shove it back into your pocket.
“No, it’s nothing. Giselle gave my number to Juyeon, and he just texted me.”
“Oh. I didn’t know you were into dudes like that,” he mutters, and you throw him a curious look before prodding.
“Like what?”
“Y’know… just… pretty boys, I guess,” he flounders, flustered and trying to think of any explanation. You snicker at that, giving him an amused glance. “One: have you seen Hyunjin? Two: are you saying you aren’t a pretty boy?”
“Oh, am I your type?” Jeno puffs up his chest and bats his eyelashes at you, and you chuckle, giving him a half smile. “I slept with you once, didn’t I? Himbos are my type, I guess.”
“Hey, I take offense to that. I agree with the hot part, but I have a sexy brain, too. I’m the whole package. I’ll have you know I accepted a job offer from Microsoft already,” he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Yeah? Did they take a look at your dick and realize you were the perfect fit?”
Donghyuck chokes on his s’more before letting out a loud cackle after Lana pats his back, sending you an amused grin. Renjun and Jaemin are howling with laughter, and the latter sends you another wink. The rest of the group only laughs even harder when Jeno is unable to offer you a coherent response, besides giving you the stink eye. You shrug, giving him an innocent smile instead before finally taking a good look at the damage done to your marshmallow.
Jeno notices you gazing forlornly at your destroyed snack and wordlessly switches it with his, handing you his stick with a perfectly roasted marshmallow at the end of it. Seeing you look like a kicked puppy makes him want to punch whoever decided to commit violence against the hypothetical dog. Even if it means giving up the marshmallow that he just roasted to absolute perfection. He didn’t go through twelve years of Boy Scouts for nothing. Making campfires and the best s’mores were two of his best earned badges.
“Wait, you don’t have to eat that,” you protest, unsuccessfully trying to take yours back, but he shakes his head, holding it out of your reach as he quickly assembles his s’more. “Nah, I like them like this anyway. Just eat that one.”
“I—” You helplessly watch as he takes a bite of the burnt atrocity. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I like it. You should eat that one when it’s still warm.” Jeno motions towards the stick still in your grasp, eyes gleaming. “Or do you want me to make you the s’more too? I can even feed it to you.”
Your cheeks heat up as you hastily make your own dessert, mumbling, “No, I got it, thanks.”
When you finish, you break it in half, handing one side to Jeno and taking the rest of the charred dessert left amidst his objections. “You’re a terrible liar. Nobody likes eating burnt stuff. And don’t lie, I saw you spit it out behind you when I was making mine.”
For good measure, you taste the remainder of the burnt mess, spitting it out immediately and tossing the rest into the bonfire. You turn towards him, scolding, “Yeah, this is horrible. Why’d you even give me yours, dumbass? You shouldn’t have eaten that.”
“You just looked really sad,” he mumbles, refusing to make eye contact as his cheeks turn rosy. He busies himself by taking a bite of the s'mores half you gave him, and your face grows warm at his confession. Your stomach does a weird flip flop, and you chalk it up to those questionable hot dogs Mark had brought earlier. You know you should never trust his cooking, but the hot dogs are pre-made and all you had to do was roast them over the fire.
“Oh.” You don’t know what else to say, awkwardly thanking him, and stammer out, “W-well, I can make another one and we can split that to make it even.”
Jeno gives you a mischievous smile. “But what if you burn it again?”
“It was a one time thing! I was just distracted,” you defend yourself weakly, and he laughs, eyes curving into pretty moon crescents once more, and you silently chide yourself when you catch yourself fawning over them. Like Megara says, “My head is screaming ‘Get a grip, girl.’” But she was basically in love with a Greek God, so she deserves to get a pass for eventually ending up with him (Although, you suppose you could make the argument that Jeno has the body of a Greek God, or maybe he’s like a modern day Adonis, but you digress).
“I’ll do it,” he decides, grabbing another marshmallow, and you make a face at him. “Are you saying I suck at making s’mores?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
You frown at him, crossing your arms over your chest with a pout. “You know, just a thought, but if you’re trying to hook up with someone, you shouldn’t insult their s’mores making skills.”
“But wouldn’t you hook up with someone who’s good at cooking, so you don’t have to cook?”
“Oh my god, are you setting me up with Jaemin now?” You let out a fake gasp, and the boy in question gives you a mock salute from his seat. Jeno glares at you, extremely offended, as he pulls the marshmallow off of the heat. “You know, I don’t think I’m gonna share this with someone who doesn’t appreciate my cooking.”
“You can have one of mine instead, Y/N. I have eight extra,” Donghyuck offers, and you hold back a laugh when you see the immediate sulky expression painted all over Jeno’s face.
“No, take this one.” Jeno shoves the newly made gooey sweet in your hand and snatches the one from Donghyuck. You can’t help but smile at his childish antics, pretending to examine the one he had handed to you.
“What’s the difference between them?”
“Hyuck’s was made with spite.” He winks at you exaggeratedly, and you playfully roll your eyes before taking a bite of it. “Mine was made with love.”
You almost choke, nearly hacking up a lung, as Chenle and Jisung make fake gagging noises at that. Lana helpfully pats your back a few times during your coughing fit, and you weakly thank her.
“You’re gonna kill somebody with that ingredient,” you tell him when you finally stop wheezing, and Jeno chuckles, eyes sparkling. He nudges you gently, a cheesy grin on his face.
“But that ingredient is just for you, and you’re still breathing.”
At that, your chest seizes up, and your heart constricts as your breath hitches in your throat. You give him a tight smile, laughing a little nervously in agreement. With the rate you’re going now, you’re not so sure how long the second half of that statement will remain true.
Later that night, after Jeno drove you home (and wouldn’t let you return his hoodie yet again, citing it as another excuse to see you much to your secret delight), you stare at the text from Juyeon for a long time. You lightly gnaw on your bottom lip, rereading it over and over again. Finally, you swipe your finger over it and delete the text.
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vi. two samoyeds walk into a (boba) bar.
It’s a Thursday afternoon in early October when you decide to take Jeno to your favorite place off campus: a small boba tea bar found nestled in between a laundromat and bookstore down the small alley that broke off from the main street. You had stumbled upon it after a mishap with cheap boxed wine and your favorite white pair of jeans and you had to find a 24 hour laundry place since the on campus one was closed for the night.
This is your special secret place—as childish as that may sound, as if it’s your treehouse hideout back when you were seven—but it’s the place you go to when you need some time alone, the spot not even Yeeun knows about. And yet, something in you decided that you wanted to share it to Jeno.
“Okay, you can’t tell anyone about this place. You have to swear on secrecy.” You stick out your pinky finger towards Jeno, stopping in front of the alley. He gives you an amused look, but acquiesces to your request.
“Pinky promise, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle through my eye. Scout’s honor.” He loops his pinky finger around yours and softly squeezes it before letting go. “Satisfied?”
“Very.” Then, you break out into a huge grin, almost wriggling in excitement because for the first time in your four years at university, you were going to show someone else your favorite place to visit. You grab his hand and pull him down towards the shop, like a child eager to show her teacher her latest drawing. “Okay, Cloudy with a Chance of Boba is down here. You’re gonna love it. They even have a dog!”
Chuckling, he lets you drag him towards the quaint boba bar. It is a cozy hang out place with soft glowing light bulbs, hammocks and chair swings, small nooks and crannies filled with plush pillows for you to sit in with wicker trays to place your drinks and snacks on, instead of the usual tables. There is even a loft area converted into a small library-esque space with several canary yellow overstuffed armchairs and vintage furniture. Cute modern paintings of dogs and cats of various sizes are scattered here and there along with pretty minimalist drawings directly on the walls. And the best part? It’s a dog friendly area, and the owner brings her Samoyed almost daily.
You like to try a different drink every time you come here, and today, you settle on the cloud matcha tea with boba for yourself and honey waffle fries to share. Once Jeno orders and the two of you receive your food and drinks, you make a beeline towards your self-designated spot: the comfortable nook in the wall all the way in the back.
You carefully place the waffle fries on the wicker tray in the center before handing your drink to Jeno. He wordlessly accepts it, and you carefully make your way in, settling against the plethora of comfortable pillows and seat cushions. Jeno gives you both his and your drinks before he also crawls into the comfy space. The two of you lean against the back, legs comfortably stretched out in front of you and fairy lights illuminating from above.
“So this is your secret hiding spot?” Jeno says, raising an eyebrow at you. An endeared expression flits across his face when he notices you happily snuggling into your corner of the nook and sipping your drink.
“Yes.” You reach for one of the waffle fries, munching on it and making a satisfied noise, before taking another one.
“Nobody else knows about it?” he inquires curiously, eyes roaming around the place.
“Well, Jaemin knows actually.” You shrug, pulling your legs up and crossing them leisurely. “Funny story, the first time I ran into him here freshman year, I got the shock of my life. Apparently, I’m not the only one who likes to visit Snowball every week. Sometimes, Jaemin shows up when I’m already here or vice versa. Snowball’s been two timing us, can you believe it?”
Jeno laughs, and you smile at him, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Do you like it here?”
He smiles softly, watching you with a tender look on his face. “I like it.”
Your grin transforms into a bigger one as you fill with pride, pleased with your decision to reveal this top secret location. “Good.”
You take a sip of your drink, content with today’s choice, before you notice Jeno looking at you with a smirk on his face. You grab another fry before casually saying, “I know what you’re about to say, and you better not say it unless you don’t want me to share my fries with you anymore.”
“I wasn’t about to say anything,” he protests, and you give him a deadpan expression. “Oh, really? You weren’t about to make a joke about how there are balls in my mouth?”
“First off, you said it, not me. And second off, no.” He pauses, leaning over to grab another fry. “But now that you mentioned it, I could think of something better than those balls in your mouth.”
You narrow your eyes at him before wordlessly pulling the tray of fries to you and away from his line of reach. You then proceed to eat four or five of them in rapid succession amidst his objections.
“Hey, hey, I was about to say fries! The ‘something better’ are those fries!” he exclaims as you give him a dubious look, shoving another fry in your mouth. Finally, he relents, distress evident in his tone, “Okay, so maybe I was about to say my balls, but please don’t eat them all, I’m sorry!”
You give him another hard stare before finally sliding the tray back to its original position, and he sighs in relief. The two of you continue to enjoy your snacks, enjoying every sip and bite until the basket is nearly empty of fries. And when Snowball the Samoyed finally makes its presence known, Jeno’s eyes positively light up. He hurriedly scrambles out from the nook and out onto the floor, immediately crouching down to pet the fluffy dog. You quickly follow suit, absolutely delighted when Snowball recognizes you and tries to lick your face happily. You play with the dog for a few more minutes before moving back, letting Jeno enjoy its full attention.
Propping your elbow on your knee, you lean your head on your hand, gazing at Jeno and lost in thought. There’s one question that’s been stuck in the back of your mind all these years, and the one person who can answer them is now sitting in front of you.
The boy in question glances over at you, mouth twisting into a familiar smirk. “Is there something on my face or am I just that good looking?”
You scoff, turning away to cover your smile. “Neither. I’m just thinking.”
“About?” He prompts, continuing to pet Snowball even as the dog starts to shove its head into its food bowl, happily eating its dinner.
“Why didn’t you call me?” You finally ask, fiddling with the straw of your half finished drink absentmindedly. “I gave you my phone number, and I really thought you were gonna call me after that night.”
Jeno remains silent for longer than usual as the question is now in the air, and you almost regret it. You had barely talked to him all those years, yet after just a few months, the two of you strangely feel so comfortable around each other, like you don't have to filter your words or can show him the worst of you. Perhaps, this is what happens when you share a traumatic experience with someone. You bond in a weird, convoluted way. Or maybe you just really don’t give a shit what Jeno thinks of you, and vice versa. But perhaps you shouldn’t have brought up something from the past, and you start to tell him to forget it when he finally responds.
“I did call you. I called you right after my classes were over,” he says at last, refusing to meet your gaze. “You picked up, or at least, I thought you did, but I guess you didn’t realize it? Anyway, you were mid rant with someone, listing a bunch of stuff that went wrong the other night. ‘Worst experience of your life, even worse than your first time with your ex when the condom got stuck’ if I remember correctly?”
You wince, remembering that that was one of the less vivid descriptions about your experience you had given to Yeeun that day. “Did you hear all of it?”
“I hung up after that. I mean I didn’t really want to stick around to get my heart crushed even more by the girl I liked, you know?” he says casually, and your heart twists in your chest at that. You didn’t know he had liked you. Suddenly, the lump in your throat doubles in size.
“You liked me?” You whisper out, horrified at this revelation.
“Yeah. You probably didn’t recognize me, but we were in the same lecture for that one mandatory freshman elective. You were always super vocal and challenged the professor’s stances, which I thought was really cool.” He stops petting Snowball, giving you a half smile as he jokes, “So I was about to piss my pants when you sat down next to me at that party and started talking to me. I had no idea what to do, so I started showing you pics of my cats, and when you were actually interested in them, that just sealed the deal. Until you know, the next day.”
“Oh my god. Oh my freaking god,” you repeat, mind racing at ten thousand miles per second. “Is that why I had to return your jacket by giving it to Renjun to give to you? He gave me the stink eye in our drawing class for the rest of the semester! I didn’t know this at all, oh my god, I’m so sorry.”
Jeno looks concerned and tries to reassure you, “Hey, it’s no big deal. It was like three years ago. I’m a big boy. I got over it.”
“No, but you don’t understand. I liked you, too,” you say weakly, mind still reeling and thoughts all over the place. It’s almost as if your brain refuses to compute this new piece of information and make it make sense.
Eyes widening, he makes a noise of confusion, cocking his head to the side. If you weren’t so caught off guard by the sudden unexpected news, you would’ve made some comment about him looking like the overgrown puppy still burying its head in its food bowl. “But you said it was the worst—”
“I know what I said, but do you really think I’d let you continue if I didn’t like you?” You interrupt him before he can give you a second cringeworthy walk down memory lane of that conversation. “Plus, if you had stayed on the line for like twenty seconds longer, you would’ve heard me admitting my dumb crush on you.”
His mouth silently forms an O-shape at this new revelation, and the two of you sit there in silence, mulling over the sudden turn of events. Snowball wanders off to see if he can steal food from some other unsuspecting customers.
“So does this mean I could’ve met Snowball three years ago instead of just now?” He says at last, giving you a small smile and breaking the tension.
You chuckle quietly, “I guess so.”
“And we could’ve been boning for all these years.”
“Okay, calm down, I don’t like you that much.” You choke on a laugh, and his eyes glimmer as the grin on his face widens when he catches onto your little slip.
“So you admit to liking me now,” he says, the corners of his lips quirked up, and he raises an eyebrow at you.
“You said ‘I don’t like you that much’, which means you do like me to some extent,” he informs you smugly, and your face heats up.
“Didn’t. I said I didn’t like you that much. As in past tense,” you attempt to correct him and cover your tracks, but he merely hums in response, not wiping the smirk off his face. If anything, it just grows bigger, much to your frustration.
“So wanna make up for lost time in my room later on?”
Jeno wriggles his eyebrows at you, and you toss a throw pillow at him in retaliation. He ducks in time and laughs loudly, eyes crinkling in the corners and forming moon crescents. You sink back into the remaining pillows, crossing your arms over your chest with a slight huff.
“In your dreams and in my nightmares only.”
“You dream about me? That’s so cute.” He gives you another one of his signature eye smiles, and your stomach flip flops. You force yourself to push away the uneasy feeling building up in the back of your mind.
“It was a nightmare.”
“Still a dream.” He reaches out to pat the fluffball that came trotting back towards you, an expression of pure delight appearing on his face. That feeling of nerves comes up again, but you paint on what you hope to be a convincing smile.
“Shut up, Jeno.”
Jeno smirks at you, coming over to you and sitting close enough that your thigh and arm are pressed against his. His face is mere inches from yours now, and his eyes twinkle mischievously. He reaches out to brush the stray strand of hair from your face, and your breath hitches in your throat as he leans in even closer.
“Make me.”
Immediately, you shove a waffle fry in his mouth, rapidly turning away before he notices how warm your face has gotten, and he laughs loudly, swallowing the fry before moving back to his original spot and focusing his attention back on Snowball with more eager pets. Pressing your hand to your chest, you feel your heart rate slowly go back to normal. That was close.
Too close.
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vii. cat-astrophe in the making.
[ 10:34 p.m. ] catboy 🐈: are you busy
[ 10:34 p.m. ] catboy 🐈: i’m catsitting
[ 10:35 p.m. ] catboy 🐈: {image.jpeg}
[ 10:35 p.m. ] catboy 🐈: can you bring me food
[ 10:35 p.m. ] catboy 🐈: poppy fell asleep on me and I can’t move
[ 10:35 p.m. ] catboy 🐈: help me
[ 10:36 p.m. ] catboy 🐈: i’m gonna starve out here and die and it’s gonna be all your fault
[ 10:36 p.m.] catboy 🐈: when the police find my body they’re gonna find a note that says “Y/N did it” in my notes app
Balancing a cardboard box containing one large combo pizza in one hand, you ring the doorbell of Apartment #21 on 727 Maisie Street, one door to the left of Jeno and Jaemin’s shared place. Tapping your foot on top of the cute doormat in the shape of a paw print and the words “PURR-FECT HOME” etched upon it, you wouldn’t be surprised if Jeno tried to buy one for his apartment (It would be rather fitting with that pair of boxers he owns). Jaemin probably wouldn’t let him though because it would clash with the interior design that he painstakingly put together using IKEA furniture and some pieces he forced the other Nu Chi Theta boys to help him carry home after some stranger left them out by the curb.
The door swings open, and Jeno’s face brightens up when his eyes zero in on the carb loaded, cheesy goodness you brought with you. “Thank god, food is finally here. What took you so long?”
“Yeah, it’s great to see you, too,” you reply sarcastically, brushing past him and leaning down to unzip the cute black ankle boots you recently bought online during the Steve Madden 30% off sale. Thank god you managed to snag the last pair in your size.
“Where’s the ‘Thank you, Y/N, for leaving Kunhang’s party to bring me food? I’m eternally grateful and in your debt forever’ followed up with ‘You’re welcome, Jeno, it’s no problem at all. It’s not like I waited forty minutes for them to make your personal pizza specifically with those stupid red onions you like.’”
“You know, people are gonna think you’re even crazier than you already are if they hear you talking to yourself like that,” he says casually, taking the pizza from your hands, and you glare at his back, kicking off your shoes by the doorway and trailing behind him as he places it on the kitchen table.
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck me yourself,” he retorts. You let out a poorly concealed scoff, and he just gives you a teasing grin. An adorable, slightly overweight Siamese cat jumps onto the table, sniffing the box. You almost forgive Jeno for cutting your night out short when the pretty feline comes over to you and nudges your hand for a pet.
“Hey, did you get—”
“Ranch to dip the crusts in? Yeah, I did,” you answer, taking a seat, and he rips a few paper towels off from the roll near the sink before coming back and handing you one of them.
“You read my mind.”
“It was a quick read.”
He playfully glares at you, and your lips curl into an innocent smirk. You bat your eyelashes at him until he rolls his eyes, moving to sit across from you. You open up the box of heaven, taking a deep inhale of the greasy deliciousness. Pan pizza will always remain superior, no matter what Johnny says about Chicago deep dish pizza.
Pulling out a slice, you immediately take a bite of it, almost moaning from how good it is. Kunhang had bribed you to come to his party (in celebration of Chinese Singles Day on November 11th, but you’re one hundred percent sure he just used that as an excuse to dip into the frat’s event budget) with the offer of free pizza. As a broke college student, the words “free” and “pizza” combined together are basically the holy grail, so you obviously agreed to attend. However, when you showed up, the only thing you saw was an expired DiGiorno's pizza left thawing on the counter. You were definitely not impressed.
“I thought you said Poppy was stuck in your lap,” you say, chewing slowly as Jeno basically scarfs down an entire slice in seconds before reaching for a second one. You’re kind of impressed, but mostly disgusted when you’re reminded how college boys are basically garbage disposals when it comes to food.
“She was,” he answers, swallowing another mouthful of cheese and tomato sauce, before continuing, “But she ran off when she heard the doorbell.”
“Why didn’t you just move her then?” you remark, and he dramatically gasps, making it seem like you had just suggested for him to run the cat over with his Lexus instead.
“I can’t do that!” Jeno exclaims, scandalized, before lowering his voice to a hushed tone. “She chose me.”
“Yeah, well, she chose me now,” you say smugly, nodding down towards the ball of fur curled up in your lap, eyes sleepily blinking up at you. “She looks like a cute little shrimp. Have you fed her yet?”
“Yeah, Mrs. Jung told me to feed her at 7 p.m. so she already ate earlier.”
“How long are you catsitting for?” You gently scratch under Poppy’s chin and she lets out a pleased purring noise, her body vibrating slightly along with it.
“Just until Sunday evening. I have to come in the morning and the evening to water the plants and feed her. Apparently, Poppy eats too much and forgets to breathe, so I have to spoon out her food a little at a time or else, she’ll just shove her face in it all and throw up.”
Poppy nudges her cute little face into the crook of your arm, and you coo over her, softly rubbing the top of her head. “She’s an angel.”
“She destroyed five rolls of toilet paper today.”
“Still an angel.”
“... You’re right.”
“Of course, I am.” You grin satisfactorily, and Jeno only shakes his head, smiling to himself. The two of you finish off the rest of the pics until an empty cardboard box covered in grease stains is all that’s left. He picks up the box and used makeshift napkins, tossing them into the kitchen trash can and making a mental note to take out the garbage on Sunday after he feeds Poppy in the evening.
“So what are your plans for Christmas?”
You and Jeno are sprawled out on the throw rug in the living room. He’s laying flat on his back with Poppy perched on his stomach, happily stroking her back as she purrs loudly. You lean back on your outstretched palms, oddly endeared by the sight in front of you. But it’s cuffing season, so you blame it on that and the cold weather for the sudden urge to cuddle the hell out of the boy and cat in front of you.
“Mm, I’m gonna see if I can power through all fifteen seasons of Criminal Minds before the break is over.”
Poppy pads over to you and settles in your lap, curling up into a small ball again, tail flicking back and forth. Jeno frowns, sitting upright as he looks at you. “You’re not going home?”
“My sister and I pooled our money together to pay for a cruise for my parents since it’s their thirtieth anniversary,” you explain, carefully petting Poppy. “And my sister is staying with her boyfriend, so I have the whole break to myself.”
Jeno stays quiet for a moment, lost in thought, and you focus all your attention on the fluffy cat, reaching out for the jingling ball toy nearby. You shake it, catching Poppy’s attention immediately as she tries to swat it out of your hand. You wave it back and forth, watching as her eyes trail the bright, two toned ball, her ears twitching.
“I’m going home for the holiday break. You should come with me,” he says at last, and you drop the ball in shock. Poppy lunges over and pounces on it, the loud jingling noise immediately bursting forth.
Your first instinct is to say no, but you pause. Yeeun is flying out to the Swiss Alps for her annual family ski trip, and you really don’t want to stay in your apartment alone because that means you’re going to have to kill any spiders you see by yourself.
“Are you… are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.”
“Yeah, it’s no big deal. Jaemin comes over to celebrate with us, too, on Christmas Eve.” Jeno shrugs, leaning over to grab the ball and shake it around. Poppy jumps up and tries to grab it. “My sister is studying abroad, so it’s just me and my mom this time. I’m sure my mom would like the extra company.”
He wants you to meet his mom, you think silently to yourself. Your stomach flips at the thought of that, and you are definitely going to say n—
“You can see Bongsik, Seol, and Nal, too,” he continues, and the rejection dies on the tip of your tongue. You can’t believe you’re really reconsidering your answer because of cats.
“Okay, what day are you driving home? And what does your mom like? Don’t give me that look, Jeno, I can’t just come empty handed. I’m not a freeloader, like Donghyuck, you know.”
You’re doing this for the cats. You repeatedly remind yourself that this is for the felines, and not because you like to see that stupid grin that Jeno is currently sporting on his face. This is solely for the sake of seeing cute furry creatures. That is all this is for.
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viii. merry christmas, ya filthy animals.
When you had arrived with Jeno on her doorstep at the start of winter break, Jeno’s mother immediately pulled you in for a hug and welcomed you happily. She had been incredibly kind and made you feel invited and at home right away, instructing Jeno to put your small suitcase in his sister’s room where you will be staying before whisking you off to show all of Jeno’s baby photos with glee as he loudly complained behind you both. Your entire stay so far has been simply wonderful.
“Y/N, would you mind helping me with this?”
His mother requests in a soft voice, and you agree immediately, going over to her side and picking up the vegetables and going over to the sink, washing them carefully in the colander. She smiles at you before focusing on basting the small roast beef for your Christmas Eve dinner. “Thank you, sweetie. I would ask Jeno, but he’s not too good with knives.”
“Hey!” Jeno protests loudly, entering the kitchen, but he quiets down when his mother glances over at him with a raised eyebrow. “Okay, fine, I accidentally cut myself twice last time, but that was it!”
“He’s a walking hazard in the kitchen.” Jeno’s mother shakes her head. “It’s a good thing he lives with Jaemin now, or else his entire diet would consist of ramen and protein shakes.”
“Mom!” Jeno whines, and she chuckles, “Why don’t you go set the table out for us, honey? Is Jaemin eating with us this time?”
“No, he’s going to come over later after he has dinner with his family.” Jeno pulls out the plates and utensils from the cabinet and drawers, stacking them up before he carries them out to the dining room. You smile absentmindedly, watching his figure disappear before realizing your hands are growing slightly numb under the running cold water and quickly turn off the faucet and shake the colander.
“You make him really happy.”
Startled, you look over to see Jeno’s mother smiling at you fondly, hip leaning against the counter. Her eyes are kind, and they match Jeno’s. Turning back to focus on preparing the main dish, she continues, “He’s never brought a girl home before. But I can see why my son likes you so much.”
“O-oh, we aren’t dating,” you stammer out, cheeks warming up at the implication. The bell pepper in your grasp slips from your hand, and you hastily catch it in time, stopping it from rolling off the cutting board. “We’re just friends.”
“Of course, my mistake,” his mother acknowledges before giving you a genuine smile, an indescribable look in her eyes: a mixture of knowing with a hint of melancholy—one that only a mother would understand. “The way he looks at you though… and you at him.”
She flashes another soft smile at you, a tinge of nostalgia sweeping her features. “Nevermind that, excuse me, I’m just rambling. Should we finish making dinner? I think everything smells delicious so far! And I’m so excited to try your homemade macarons!”
You hesitantly return her smile with one of your own, forcing down the swirling abyss of inexplicable emotions that had erupted from her words and tries to rear its ugly head at you. When Jeno pokes his head back into the kitchen, his mother puts him on mashed potato duty, and he groans but acquiesces. As his mother chatters on, the two of you work side by side, his arm brushing against yours every once in a while. You desperately quell the colony of butterflies that flutter in your stomach.
The dinner preparation continues smoothly, and dinner is served. It’s a light hearted affair, and Jeno’s mother proceeds to tell many fun anecdotes about his childhood, making him protest in embarrassment and you laugh over all the mishaps he and Jaemin had gotten into when they were younger. You make sure to file away the story consisting of school music recitals, too much apple juice, and a very unfortunate accident for future blackmail. When it is time for dessert, his mother gushes over the matcha macarons you made for her as a present along with the pretty bouquet of gardenias and camellias that she carefully arranged in a vase now displayed on the end of the dining table.
After dinner, she bids the two of you good bye when she has to go off to her late night shift at the hospital, hugging you warmly and telling Jeno she’ll be back tomorrow by noon. When she leaves, the two of you plop down on the couch in the living room, sprawled out comfortably on opposite ends and careful not to disturb the three snoozing cats lying on the top of the furniture.
“Wanna pick out a movie? Jaemin should be coming over in fifteen minutes,” Jeno says, picking up the remote and flicking on the television. “Oh, there’s the usual Harry Potter marathon on.”
“I’m good with that.” You shrug before sitting upright as a sudden thought comes to mind. “Wait, be right back.”
You dash upstairs to the room you’re staying in, leaving a bewildered Jeno behind. Rummaging through your suitcase, you pull out a neatly wrapped box and three smaller ones. Clutching them to your chest, you hurry back down before nervously thrusting them at him, and he barely catches them before they almost fall to the floor.
“I got you a present.” You anxiously twist your hands together behind your back as you try to keep your voice calm. “My family and I like to open our presents during Christmas Eve since none of us are early risers, and well, I thought you could maybe open it now?”
Jeno stares at the boxes for a moment before looking at you, the largest smile spreading across his face and relief washes over you like a tidal wave. “You got me a present.”
“I got one for Bongshik, Seol, and Nal, too.”
“You got presents for my cats, too?” He positively beams at you before standing up and quickly making his way to the stairs. “Wait, hold on, I got you something, too.”
You sit down on the couch, and he returns with a gift bag, sitting down next to you and sheepishly handing it over. “Sorry, I’m not good at wrapping presents, and Jaemin wasn’t around to help me.”
You pull out the tissue paper, a familiar object falling out, and when you recognize the tell tale fluorescent orange color, you laugh freely, grinning up at him. “Thank you, Jeno, I needed a Tide pen.”
“Just in case I accidentally spill any more drinks on you.” He puts his hands up innocently before motioning towards the bag with a softer smile. “But that’s just the gag gift.”
You dig deeper into the bag and pull out a small box. Untying the pretty white ribbon on top, you take off the top, and your eyes widen as you breathe out, “Oh my god.”
Your fingers wrap around a thin, delicate gold chain with tiny dotted spherical beads spaced out and your first name’s initial in dainty cursive and matching gold threaded on it. You carefully lift it out, and it sparkles as it catches the Christmas tree lights from different angles.
“Do you… like it?” Jeno chews his bottom lip nervously, “Jaemin helped me pick it out because I wasn’t too sure, but it’s too late now to—”
“I love it,” you interrupt, smiling at him.
“Oh, thank god,” he sighs, relief written all over his face as he watches you wrap the bracelet around your wrist. “Wait, let me help you with it.”
He reaches out and carefully grasps onto the loop and clasp on either side of the chain, the tip of his tongue sticking out slightly as he concentrates on securing the bracelet. You gaze at him, the corner of your lip quirking up into an endeared smile.
“Got it,” he announces proudly, grinning at you, and your smile widens. “Thank you, Jeno.”
His smile grows as well before he glances down at the wrapped packages in his lap. Picking up the largest one with his name written across the tag on the front, he shakes it slightly before raising an eyebrow at you. “So what are you giving me?”
“My virginity.”
Jeno nearly chokes, and you wink and give him finger guns. He narrows his eyes at you, poorly disguising his chuckle as a scoff. “Nice try. But I already know about your first time—that lost condom horror story from high school.”
“Ah, right.” You lean back against the cushions comfortably before gesturing towards the boxes. “Why don’t you open them and see what it is then?”
He eyes you suspiciously before unwrapping the present, pulling off the top of the box, and his eyes grow round before immediately darting over towards you. “Is this….?”
“I thought it’d match your boxers.” You shrug, and the tips of his ears grow red. He pulls out a large maroon sweater with Bongshik’s, Seol, and Nal’s faces knitted on the front along with his name at the bottom and “PROUD CAT DAD” across the top.
“Oh my god.” He immediately pulls it over his head and tugs over it over his body before turning to you with an ear splitting grin. “I fucking love it, holy shit, Y/N, thank you.”
“Wait til you open the other presents.” You motion towards the three smaller boxes, and his eyes widen once more as he gasps, “You didn’t…”
You grin. “I did.”
Jeno immediately tears open the smaller boxes, pulling out similar miniature versions of his own sweater: one with each cat’s face and name knitted on them. He looks positively delighted, bouncing in his seat as he beams at you. “Wait, help me put these on them, so I can take a picture of them with me.”
You grab Seol’s sweater from his hand and reach out to pick up the sleepy cat from the top of the couch. Carefully, you tug the sweater onto his fluffy body. Much to your relief, the cat didn’t squirm, allowing you to quickly put it on. Jeno nimbly puts the sweater on Nal before carrying Bongshik to his lap and slowly pulling on the last sweater over her head.
“Perfect!” he says happily before extending his phone towards you. “Can you take a picture of us?”
“Yeah, of course.” You take his phone, about to swipe up to open the camera option when you notice his lockscreen. Faltering slightly, you realize with a jolt that it’s a picture of you and him from the bonfire. You push down the uneasy feeling to the pit of your stomach and plaster on a smile as you say, “Okay, ready? I’m gonna count to three.”
Jeno scoops up all his beloved cats in his arms and squishes his face against them. He grins happily, eyes curving into the prettiest moon crescents, and you hate how quickly the butterflies rise in your stomach at that sight. You snap away, taking pictures from various angles before you decide to stop before you use up his entire phone storage. As you try to hand him back his phone, he nimbly wraps his fingers around your wrist and tugs you down next to him.
“You gotta take a picture with us, too,” he insists, eyes sparkling. “This was your gift, you have to be in at least one picture.”
Bongshik comes over and plops down in your lap, staring up at you with her wide, pretty eyes, and you suddenly don’t have the heart to refuse. “Okay, just a few.”
Jeno beams, holding his phone up to snap a selfie of you, him, and his cats. Pressed against his side, you hold up Bongshik and smile, the fluttery feeling in your chest growing exponentially when you see how happy you look next to him. You’re in the middle of telling him to airdrop you the photos when the ringing doorbell cuts you off mid-sentence.
“Oh, that’s Jaemin, right? I’ll get it,” you say, standing up, and Jeno looks like he’s about to protest when you give him a glare. “Seol and Nal are sleeping on you, and don’t you dare wake them up.”
Defeated, he sits there, fiddling with his phone and petting his cats as you saunter over to the front door. When you pull it open, Jaemin looks up from his phone, the slight crease in between his eyebrows disappearing as he roughly shoves the device into his jacket pocket.
“Y/N,” he greets you with a smile before extending the plate in his hands towards you. “My mom wanted to give you guys some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.”
“Oh my god, please tell your mom I love her.” You snatch up the desserts quickly, mouth already watering at the sight of them. “Come on in, Jaemin, we’re watching the Harry Potter marathon. We can quote the script like we always do and drive Jeno crazy.”
“Oh, ah, I can’t… I, uh, gotta get back home.” He shifts from one foot to the other, giving you a tight smile. You suppose you don’t do a very good job at hiding your disappointment because he quickly backtracks, “I mean I would if I could, but um, my mom needs me back there.”
“Hey, no worries, it’s okay. Maybe next time.” You give him a reassuring smile, and he relaxes. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out something, fiddling with it. “I, uh, got you something for Christmas, too. Just something small.”
You quickly set aside the cookies, and he hands you a little capsule—one of those plastic circular containers you can get from a toy machine. You pop it open, a smile immediately stretching across your face. With a laugh, you hold up a cute little charm of Winnie the Pooh wearing a pancakes costume, admiring Jaemin’s gift for you.
“It’s so cute, oh my god, I love it!”
“You better. It took me seven tries to finally get the pancake one,” Jaemin says, smiling to himself when he sees you immediately attach it to your phone.
“What’s gonna happen to the other six keychains you got?” you chuckle, still admiring the new accessory on your phone. You look up and catch him smiling at you, and he turns away, cheeks flushed.
“I’m gonna give them to the kids at the hospital. I think they’ll all like it,” he answers, and you nod in agreement before your face falls at a sudden realization.
“I’m so sorry, but I don’t have a present for you.” You frown, the corners of your lips downturned, before brightening up when an unexpected thought occurs. “Okay, I know it’s not much, but… I promise I’ll make you the best waffles you’ve ever had whenever you want it.”
“You know how to make waffles?”
“Of course I do! I make the best waffles. This is a one in a lifetime chance to eat the greatest waffles of all time made by yours truly. They could even make Gordon Ramsay cry,” you exclaim, waving your hands around for emphasis before quickly tacking on as an afterthought, “But cry in a good way, not like Mark’s eggs.”
He chuckles, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Alright, I’m holding you to that. I’m gonna cash in that offer one day.”
“Good.” Your eyes twinkle. “Merry Christmas, Jaemin.”
Jaemin bids you goodbye soon after, and you wave him off until he drives off in his car. Carrying the plate of cookies with you, you make your way back to the family room, placing the dish on top of the coffee table. Jeno’s eyes light up, and he all but launches himself at the sweets (thank god the cats have moved off his lap and elsewhere by now).
“Where’s Jaemin?” he casually asks, munching on a cookie, and you frown, plopping down next to him on the couch and tucking your legs under you. “He said he had to go back home for his mom or something.”
“Ah, got it,” he nods, taking a quick peek at his phone, and you sulk, lips jutting out into a pout. “Who’s gonna recite Harry Potter lines with me now?
“Oh thank god, I don’t have to hear another ‘My father will hear about this’ from him,” he sighs in relief, and you chuckle at that before putting on your worst British accent.
“Jaemin will hear about this.”
He struggles to keep a straight face for a good ten seconds before he gives in, a loud guffaw escaping from his mouth, and you grin, rather pleased with yourself.
“‘Yer a wizard, Harry,’” you imitate Hagrid next, much to his delight, and you go through nearly every character until Jeno is in stitches and near tears. You save one of your favorites for last and increase your voice to a higher octave. “Not my daughter, you bitch!”
Jeno lets out another laugh, unable to contain himself as you say haughtily, “Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed. Or worse, expelled.”
“Oh my god,” Jeno gasps, laughing breathlessly, eyes disappearing under the shadows of his pretty long lashes. “Holy shit, wait, my sides hurt, shut up.”
Giggling, you teasingly grin, leaning in as you slightly tilt your head to the side, eyes gleaming. “Make me.”
As the laughter subsides, the room grows quiet, and you suddenly realize just how close the two of you are, breath hitching in your throat. Jeno seems to be aware of the short proximity as well as he swallows hard, subtly shifting in his seat. His eyes map out every detail of your face, ending at your lips before flitting back up to meet yours. Your heart feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest, pounding so loudly that you wonder if he can hear it.
“Scared, Y/N?” he whispers, sending the slightest shivers down your spine as you hold your breath. His hand finds yours, and your eyes drop down to see his fingers intertwined with yours.
You let out a quiet laugh, the words finally registering in your mind. You gaze back at him as the corners of your lips quirk up into a smirk. “You wish.”
Before you know it, he lets go of your hand and tugs you even closer, pulling you onto his lap and closing the distance. He captures your lips against his, and your breath hitches in your throat for a second time tonight as you straddle him, the palms of your hands pressed against his chest. He tastes sweet, like chocolate, and you cave into his embrace as his hand reaches up to delicately cradle your cheek. The next kiss is messier, more desperate, and he holds you like he’s scared of losing you, like if he doesn’t feel every inch of your body pressed against his, then this would all be a dream—that you aren’t really here, that this isn’t real.
Your heart ricochets in your chest, sparks flying until a whole damn wildfire is ablaze, and your grip on his shirt tightens, like you’re afraid of letting go and losing yourself. You feel drunk off of his kisses as he trails them down the slope of your neck before leaning up to press another one against your mouth for good measure.
“You wanna see something cool?” he says a little breathlessly when he pulls away, his cheeks and lips both a pretty shade of carmine now. You nod, not trusting your voice in this very moment.
He reaches behind you, carefully slipping his hand under your shirt. Pausing, he waits for your reaction, and when you nod, he continues. After a few seconds, he deftly unhooks the back of your bra before pulling his hand back, a proud expression on his face, and you start to laugh, shoulders shaking and mouth pulled into the prettiest smile that has him stopping to admire the pretty sight in front of him.
“Wow, you broke your record of five minutes,” you finally say, still giggling slightly, and he winks at you. “I had practice.”
“Yeah?” you hum as his hands trail to the undersides of your thighs, and he easily lifts you up as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Are you planning on breaking any other records tonight?”
Eyes glimmering, Jeno grins, leaning in to place another kiss on the corner of your mouth, and your heart races, cheeks growing warmer than ever.
“I’m going for the gold, sweetheart.”
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ix. to be (a coward) or not to be.
You find yourself lying in the cramped twin size bed next to Jeno. Your eyes wander around, taking in your surroundings and memorizing the way the moonlight casts shadows on the bits and pieces that give you a glimpse into the childhood of the sleeping boy next to you. There are posters of old bands and science fair ribbons pinned to the navy painted walls along with shelves filled with dusty sports trophies and action figures. You can see some old pictures of Jeno and Jaemin in high school along with younger versions of a few other boys you recognize from your university lined up on his desk neatly, no doubt framed and arranged by his mother. And then you notice how your clothes are haphazardly strewn throughout the room, intruding upon a space that isn’t yours. You feel so out of place.
Jeno stirs next to you when you shift slightly in your position and wraps his arm around your waist, tugging you closer to him and nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. You gaze at the boy next to you, his delicate features highlighted by the soft glow of the moonlight from the curve of his lips to the pretty mole under his right eye to his long lashes casting shadows on his cheeks. He looks so innocent in that moment, and the guilt pools even deeper in your stomach for what you are about to do.
But you feel like you’re suffocating, almost drowning. A foreign emotion has already crept its way into your heart, and it’s squeezing your lungs until you can’t breathe anymore. There’s a reason why you choose a different pretty boy to spend the midnight hours with every time, a different warm body in your bed each night, a boy you know you won’t ever love for every single one of your short lived relationships.
Falling in love is terrifying. Falling feels a lot like flying until you crash into the pavement, heart smashed into smithereens. Promises are made, only to be broken. Commitment is your worst enemy, and letting someone see you in your most vulnerable moments frightens you more than anything in the world. The thought of letting someone have the power to affect you this much is just unfathomable, and you just can’t give up any part of yourself, can’t show the best and worst parts of you, can’t let yourself be vulnerable. You can’t give your all to someone only for them to confirm your worst fear.
But when you glance over at Jeno and feel the way he holds you so close—almost as if you mean something to him—there’s a tiny voice in the back of your mind telling you to stay. Enveloped in his arms and pressed against his side, you feel safe and protected, like this is where you should be. You wouldn’t mind coming home to this every night. Home. You feel at home when you’re with him, and that thought alone shakes you to the core.
You can’t do it.
You’re too scared to fall in love, too scared to take the chance, too scared to leave your heart in the hands of someone else. So you quietly slide out of his bed, not missing the way his eyebrows furrow as his arm reaches out to hold onto someone who’s already gone. You carefully pick up your scattered clothes and put them back on. You silently pack up your suitcase and find your phone, scheduling an Uber to take you back to your apartment. You pull up his messages and type out another one of your recycled excuses. You hit send, hearing a faint ping! from his phone, before finally exiting his bedroom, missing the way his eyes slowly open and watch you walk away.
It’s a routine you’ve gotten down by now: something as easy as waking up, washing your face, brushing your teeth, and changing out of your pajamas every day before your 8 AM class. You leave before the first rays of the sun peek out, the only trace of you lingering is the disappearing warmth in the sheets. Leaving is the only thing you’re good at. It’s as easy as breathing for you: one step forward, inhale, another step forward, exhale. You keep putting one foot in front of the other until you’re gone.
Bad habits are hard to break, or perhaps you’re too much of a coward to even try.
This is for the best, you say to yourself, repeating those words like a broken mantra in your mind until hopefully, you believe them yourself. You never stay. You never get attached. That’s how it always is. That’s how it has always been. That’s how it will always be. It’s always easier to be the bad guy. This is what you’re good at doing.
But it seems as though you forgot to pack away your heart when you left because there’s an empty ache in your chest during the entire car ride back.
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x. the fujiwhara effect.
When two hurricanes meet, it is called the Fujiwhara Effect. Two whirlwinds spin in the same direction, dancing in circles around a common center. They will eventually spiral into the center point and merge, unless one is more powerful than the other, in which the smaller one orbits around the larger.
Perhaps it was the calm before the storm. You have an awful penchant for screwing things up right when everything is going perfect, so maybe there’s always going to be a storm because you are the storm. It’s simply in your inherent nature to come rushing in and destroying everything good in your path once something becomes too real, too tangible, too permanent. You like to come and go, never staying in one place for too long, tearing through and leaving a war zone—and well, it’s not your fault if a trail of broken hearts is left behind. The warning signs were all there, but they still came to you.
But Jeno is no different. He goes around breaking hearts for fun, discarding them faster than a child plowing through a pile of shiny new toys on Christmas Day. Except he’s a stronger hurricane. And when the two of you eventually crash into each other, your whole world is ripped down the seams until you are spilling everywhere and spiraling out of control, until you’re stuck spinning in circles at his mercy, until you’re getting dizzier and dizzier with each passing second.
It’s all fun and games until it’s not anymore because you’ve made a habit of loving him, made a home in a person, and you recognize the way he looked at you that night. It was the way Yeonjun had looked at you, the way Minhyuk looked at you, the way Hyunjin looks at you, the way Yugyeom looks at Yeeun, the way all those girls look at Jaemin, the way you caught yourself looking at Jeno.
You want to throw up.
This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. You weren’t supposed to catch feelings. You weren’t supposed to go this far. You weren’t supposed to fall in love with him, but you did, and now you can’t bear to deal with the consequences. Your fight or flight instincts kick in, and you do what you always do best.
You run away. Straight back into Hyunjin’s arms.
The scene is eerily familiar as you find yourself back in that same bathroom of the NCT frat house from all those months ago, but with a different boy in tow. Hyunjin pulls you in close, sloppily pressing kisses over every inch of your exposed skin, but it seems so wrong. He kisses you like it’s a means to an end, a desperate race to the finish line to get your clothes off and take what he wants. His hands are on your arms when they should be on your waist or cradling your cheek, he doesn’t smell like citrus and pine, but above all, you feel absolutely nothing.
And that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.
“Here or bedroom?” he mutters, fingers digging into your hips now, and you barely register the fact that he had asked you something at first.
“Here.” If you close your eyes, you can pretend it’s him instead. But that’s not what you need, so your eyes snap open to stare at the boy in front of you, reminding yourself that it’s not him, that it can’t be him. But want is a slippery slope, and your eyes flutter shut.
It is a mistake.
You see him. You struggle in this battle, the weight on your shoulders now pressing down on your chest, rib cage bending to the point of breaking, a billion thoughts clouding up your mind, your breath escaping between your teeth in uneven increments, and you find yourself careening out of control so rapidly that you grab onto anything, anyone, chest heaving up and down as your eyes snap open.
Hyunjin fumbles with your shirt, roughly grabbing the hem, and you’re clutching onto his belt, until the door bangs open and your heart leaps to your throat at the sight of him.
Lee Jeno: the walking cliché of your wildest dreams and your nightmares simultaneously. He’s living, breathing proof that bad boys who wear the typical leather jacket and drive a sleek car with one hand on the steering wheel, but also have a hidden soft side (because you saw him snuggling with his cats back home every night) actually exist. It’s Lee Jeno who used to have a different girl wrapped around his finger every night or morning or even sometimes mid-afternoon; Lee Jeno with his pretty eye smile that can make you swoon; Lee Jeno with his annoyingly endearing tendencies that you finally understand why so many girls, and even some boys, fall for so willingly.
Or for you, Lee Jeno: the boy who was your first genuine crush. He’s the reason you desperately wished you listened to Jennie when she told you to find an older, more experienced boy to have your first college hookup with, and not a fellow lowly freshman because you never knew a tiny, dumb crush could end up like this three years later. You never would’ve ended up learning that he has three cats that he loves more than anything in the world, that his favorite color is blue because that was Jaemin’s favorite color when they met in kindergarten, that he likes having exactly ten tiny marshmallows in his hot chocolate, that he secretly enjoys those cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies his older sister forced him to watch with her when they were little, that all these little insignificant things have become significant to you because it’s Jeno. It’s no longer a silly crush; it has grown into something so much bigger that has him rooted in your heart, leaving a relentless ache in his wake as the thoughts of him engulf you whole, and it has you feeling absolutely terrified.
“Shit, sorry, I didn’t kno—”
He stops when he realizes it’s you: the one who didn’t return his phone calls when he woke up to an empty bed or answered his texts, the one who got away, the one who somehow made her way into his heart and left a you-shaped hole in it. The hurt flashes in his eyes for a millisecond before it’s replaced by anger at the sight of the other boy, but you still catch it nonetheless, guilt curling up in the pit of your stomach.
“What the fuck?”
“Uh, we’re kinda busy here, dude, so unless you wanna stay and watch—” Hyunjin motions towards the door, but that seems to only make Jeno even more furious.
“Get the fuck out.” His voice is dangerously low, directed towards Hyunjin, but he’s staring at you. Hyunjin slinks out the door, muttering curses under his breath, but you’re frozen under his gaze, remaining perched on the bathroom countertop. The door swings shut, and he stands there, the both of you remaining silent as the muffled music continues to seep through the walls.
“Why?” he whispers, hoarse voice breaking at the end as his true emotions slip through the cracks of his dissipating anger. “Why are you doing this?”
You didn’t think you could find your voice, but at last you do. “What do you mean ‘why’? Isn’t this what we always do? Find someone, fuck, repeat.”
“But you and I—” He stops there abruptly, carding his hand through his hair in frustration. “We just— you and I…”
“You and I what? We slept together. That’s it. You got what you wanted, so that’s the end of it. Aren’t you happy?” You raise an eyebrow at him, pushing down the churning feeling in your stomach. “You can go back to your little body count competition now. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
He keeps his voice level, not falling for your jabs, and it angers you. You want him to be mad at you, want him to finally snap because then you would have a reason to leave, a reason to justify what you’re doing, a reason to not feel so goddamn guilty.
You don’t understand why you feel like this, the guilt eating away inside of you until you’re left with a hollow shell of yourself. It’s not like he and you were exclusive or even worse, dating. You and Jeno don’t date. Dating is not a word in either one of your dictionaries. Hooking up? Yes. One night stands? Of course. Next morning’s walk of shame? Unfortunately, guilty as charged. But dating? That word is foreign on your tongue and his.
He and you are the same. You’re the type of people who just take and take and take, but give nothing back. The type to never commit. The type that girls and boys think “I can change them, I can fix them. Just wait and see.” but it only ends with another broken heart in your collection and an unspoken “I told you so” from their friends. The type who uses empty promises, pretty gift wrapped words, and alluring smiles to get what they want and occupy their next conquest’s every waking thought before, during, and after their encounter. The type to play with a heart until they’re bored and set off to find an even shinier, brand new one. The type to leave and never stay.
The two of you are well versed with how this is supposed to end. But why does it feel like your heart is being crushed at an excruciatingly slow rate with every breath you take?
“Then what was it about?” You challenge, curling your fingers into fists. “What is this about? Do you need an actual review to scrub your now spotless record? Because here’s one: you’ve improved. It was great. Thank you for a fantastic night, now please let me enjoy tonight and go find Hyunjin again or whoever.”
The mention of his name sparks an immediate reaction as his jaw tightens and his entire figure stiffens. “This isn’t about that.”
“What is this about then, Jeno? Did you really think that this—” You gesture between you and him. “—was something?”
He stares at you with his mouth agape. “We spent hours, weeks, months together. I told you things I never even told Jaemin. I invited you to my house for Christmas. I let you meet my mom. I let you meet my cats.”
Your fingernails press so hard into the palms of your hands that you think you almost break skin. You school your expression into one of boredom. “So?”
“So doesn’t that mean something?” He finally explodes, hitting his hand against the wall in frustration as a distraught expression appears on his features. “Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Should it?”
He unfurls his fist, answering quietly, “It does to me.”
“But not to me.” The lie falls so easily from your lips, but Jeno can detect a falsity from the truth so easily when it comes to you. He knows you better than anyone else because you two are alike, cut from the same cloth, and that is what scares you the most.
“You’re lying,” he says softly, watching your still figure as you sharply inhale at that. “You wouldn’t share hidden places and secrets and spend time with someone if it all meant nothing to you. You wouldn’t buy custom Etsy Christmas sweaters for their cats or count out the number of marshmallows to add into their cup of hot chocolate or memorize their pizza order or go to three different grocery stores for a specific type of candy for someone if they meant nothing to you. If you didn’t love them.”
“We aren’t… we’re not made for that.” You shake your head. “You and I… we aren’t— aren’t built to care and love, to be cared for and to be loved. It’s been like that for years now.”
“You’re wrong,” Jeno whispers, and he’s looking at you with that exact same tender gaze that’s gotten you into this mess. “You’re wrong because I care about you.”
He swallows hard.
“Don’t.” Your voice breaks as you shake your head desperately. “Please don’t say it.”
“—I love you.”
The hurricanes collide. You’re falling apart.
“Stop. You— no, you don’t. You can’t. You’re fucking lying. Take it back.” You’re reeling, struggling to take back control but it’s too late to put the brakes on now and you’re seconds away from driving over the edge of the cliff.
“I’ve never lied to you, Y/N.” He looks at you with tired eyes, and you feel yourself slowly crumbling. “I’ve screwed up, I’ve done some shitty things, but I have never lied to you. So the least you can do is be honest with me. Do you really feel nothing?”
“I don’t… I’m not… That’s not… That is completely missing the point.” You flounder to find a footing, to find someplace you can hide and feel less exposed and vulnerable. You wrap your arms around yourself, hugging your body tightly and unable to say anything more.
“I love you,” he repeats in a gentler tone, and you can feel his gaze searing into the side of your face. You turn away, unable to look him in the eye and holding back the tears.
“I never asked you to.”
“But I still do.”
Jeno waits a few more moments, but you stay quiet with your eyes turned toward the floor and lips curled inwards and pressed tightly together. He laughs humorlessly, shoulders slumped in defeat as he turns towards the door, his voice echoing in the empty space.
“So I guess this is how it feels.”
You don’t dare to look his way. “This is how what feels?”
He pauses halfway out the door, facing you one last time, and you force yourself to face him at last. The corners of his lips quirk up into a wistful half smile, one that doesn’t quite meet his eyes at all, and it causes your heart to wrench painfully in your chest.
“To have someone break your heart.”
When he disappears, leaving you sitting in the cramped bathroom all alone, you finally let the dam break and the tears spill out. They fall until your pretty white shirt is completely soaked, but this time, no one is here to lend you their jacket and protect you from the cold because you’re the one with ice in your chest in the first place.
It’s supposed to hurt less when you build up the walls and let no one in, but nobody told you how lonely you’d feel. Nobody told you that you’d have to hold up the weight of the entire world on your shoulders alone. Nobody told you how much it fucking hurts to finally let someone inside your garden, only for the flowers you painstakingly planted to get trampled and the fence you put up to be broken when they left.
It always ends up like this: the heartbreaker and the heartbroken. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So when two heartbreakers meet, it is inevitable that two hearts break. You just never knew it would hurt this fucking much when you have to break two hearts instead of one.
When a smaller hurricane meets with a larger tsunami, it continues to spin around and around the bigger force, faster and faster until it’s careening out of control, until it finally dissipates, until nothing is left, except for the mess it made.
So this is how it feels.
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xi. counterpoises.
When two people are too much alike, the scales tip to one side, growing heavier and heavier, until it topples over and the secrets and insecurities spill out like water, soaking and drowning everything in its path. The glass is either half full or half empty until too much is suddenly poured into it, overflowing onto the sides, and you can’t clean it up. You’re struggling to tread water, lost amidst the waves and sea, separated from the one person you care for most because you let him sink in order to swim.
You stand in front of the familiar shop alone, staring up at the blinking neon sign. It feels as if this is the only place left that remains untouched and pristine in the destroyed aftermath. Your friends mean well, but their questions and constant hovering make you feel like you’re trapped and suffocating once more. You give them half lies wrapped in thin veracity, not wanting to create an even bigger ocean. Because once you tell them the truth, once you tell someone about that night, it means that this was different, that this was real. It means confronting that what you and Jeno had—it meant something to you.
You escape to the one place where no one can find you. You take a deep breath before reaching out and pulling open the door, the cute little jingle immediately playing to announce your entrance. The owner smiles at you, recognizing you after nearly four years, and you greet her back, stepping up to the register to buy your usual.
When your order is ready, you carry the drink and basket of fries to the area you had dubbed your little alcove. Crawling into the familiar space, you place your snacks on the wicker tray and sit back, curling your legs underneath you and closing your eyes. The once cozy space now feels too big for you. You hate that you feel like you’re waiting for someone, anticipating the late arrival of someone who will sit next to you and fill the space that you come to realize is perfect for two.
But of course, he doesn’t show. Not when you pushed him away like that.
A heavy weight shifts the pillows next to you, and your eyes snap open, heart leaping in your chest as you immediately look to your right. Your eyes soften when you see Snowball sitting there. He looks at you, large eyes sparkling and tongue lolling out. Your face softens as he nudged his nose against your hand comfortingly, as if he senses your sadness. You throw your arms around him, burying your face in his fur and hugging him tightly, and he nuzzles his snout against your cheek.
“Thank you, Snowball,” you sigh, loosening your arms around him, and he tilts his head, touching his nose against your cheek, before laying down and resting his head in your lap. You smile down at him, placing your hand on his head and patting him tenderly.
“There you are.”
Startled, you look up and see Jaemin. You give him a tight smile. “Jaemin, I’m not in the mood to—”
“Did you know I’ve been shaking this bag of treats in the front for the past five minutes like a complete idiot, and Snowball still didn’t come?” Jaemin interrupts, wildly waving a plastic bag around in the air, filled with homemade canine snacks. “I even researched top quality dog biscuits recipes and checked with the owner to make sure he can eat this. I spent hours baking these, and he rejected me!”
You let out a snort, a small smile appearing on your face. Jaemin huffs in exasperation, pouting. “Here, you might as well take them and give them to him since he clearly doesn’t love me anymore.”
He thrusts the packet of treats at you and turns to walk away. You hesitate before calling out, “Wait.” He faces you with a raised eyebrow, and you swallow hard, tentatively holding up the dog biscuits. “Shouldn’t you at least wait and see if he likes them? You made them for him.”
Jaemin pauses, gauging your reaction silently before deciding, “Okay, I’ll stay. I wanna see if he’ll eat one. Two max because cookies can’t be that good for him.”
You open the bag and pluck out two of the treats, handing one to Jaemin and keeping one for yourself. Jaemin carefully crawls into the space to sit across from you. The white fluffy dog raises its head from your lap to look at him, tail thumping wildly and hitting his leg.
“Hey, buddy, I brought you some snacks I made.” Jaemin reaches out and strokes Snowball, grinning wildly when the dog sniffs and nudges his hand. He extends his other hand, the biscuit resting in his open palm. Immediately, Snowball snatches it, chewing it quickly with another wag of his tail.
You watch him, the ghost of a smile flitting across your face when you notice the pure, unadulterated joy coming from your friend as he exclaims that Snowball likes his treats. You hand over the second treat to him, and he happily feeds it to the overgrown puppy.
You stay quiet for a moment, contemplating before finally asking, “How was volunteering today?”
Jaemin’s face lights up. “It was really good. Andy drew me another drawing.”
“Oh? what’d he draw this time? Another dinosaur?”
“No, an astronaut.” He smiles, eyes twinkling. “He said once he gets better, he’ll take me on a trip to the moon because there are bunnies on the moon and I look like one.”
You chuckle, eyes flickering over his features. He does look like a rabbit in some ways, you note. You hesitate. “Is he getting better?”
“He’s in remission. But the doctors want him to stay just in case still..” Jaemin traces the edge of the throw blanket with his finger, staying quiet for a moment before his shoulders slump. “You know, sometimes, I hate volunteering. It just fucking sucks to see all these kids with so much potential spend their entire lives stuck in a white cell. It just, I don’t know, it just really sucks that I want to help so badly, but I can’t do anything about it. I get these second thoughts about becoming a pediatrician because what’s the point if I can’t help people?”
“That’s not true.” You shake your head, reaching over to place your hand over his. “You’re working your butt off shadowing doctors and studying to help people. You spend extra hours on top of that just visiting all the kids. You help Andy. You helped Chloe, Alex, Sam, literally all of the kids that you spent time with. They absolutely adore you, and you make them happy. And don’t deny it because I’ve seen all the crayon drawings they made for you taped up on your walls. You’re a kind person, and you make people feel loved and cared for, Jaemin.”
A hint of a smile sweeps across his face as he lets your words settle in his heart. He carefully turns his hand over to wrap his fingers around yours, squeezing your hand gently before letting go. A silent thank you.
Jaemin continues to ramble on about his classes after that, and you listen, adding in a few words here and there. You haven’t felt at peace like this in so long. It reminds you of when things weren’t as complicated. It feels like the calm before a storm.
You’re standing in the eye of the hurricane.
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xii. he loves me, she loves me not.
Yeeun and Giselle refuse to let you wallow around in your misery and continue to eat your weight in xxtra flamin’ hot Cheetos as you go in a downward spiral of watching every single episode of every trashy TLC reality show possible for a third week. They love you to death, but there’s only so much they can take of “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Extreme Cheapskates” before they want to smash the television. Your friends force you into a casual, but still cute, little red mini dress and your black boots so you can stomp on the shackles of patriarchy and dumb boys. You reckon it’s time to swap out those artificially bright red cheesy puffs and drink your weight in alcohol tonight instead.
“Okay, we can’t be late, especially since I’m dating the host.” Yeeun ushers you and Giselle towards her car, and you situate yourself into the passenger seat, while your other friend sprawls out in the back.
“I still can’t believe you’re actually dating someone,” you comment, leaning your arm against the door and resting your head in your hand. “Guess we gotta pour one out for all the boys whose hearts you broke with that couple post.”
“You know, I think I saw Chris cry a little in the back of the lab today,” Giselle chimes in, tapping her finger against her chin, and Yeeun laughs, starting up the car and pulling out onto the street, “Oh my god, you guys, that was a one time mistake.”
“A mistake lasting three months. I still can’t believe you called him the wrong name before,” you giggle, and she splutters, hitting the brake pedal a little too hard at the next red light.
“Okay, he didn’t hear me though. My face was in the pillow.”
“Mm, no, he definitely heard you,” Giselle cuts in, “I did a little experiment and pretended to forget his name. I called him Kevin, and he reacted so fast, I thought he was gonna get whiplash.”
“Well, shit.” is all Yeeun can say as you and Giselle start to laugh hysterically. It feels nice to laugh like this again, like you were your old self before feelings got involved and all you cared about was if the cute boy in your Managerial Accounting class was single and ready to mingle (spoiler alert: he was). It feels like everything might be okay again.
“What about you, babe?” Giselle starts, and the casual little pet name strikes a chord in you. “Is tonight only a drunk night or a fuck night?”
“Screw it, let’s go with fuck,” you firmly decide, finally making up your mind and vowing to commit to it, and the girls cheer. “I deserve to get good dick tonight.”
“Hell yeah you do!” Yeeun exclaims, and Giselle nods vigorously in agreement with a fist pump and supportive battlecry. “Jennie would be proud. Fuck boys. Both literally and figuratively. Fuck Jeno for breaking your heart.”
You nod your head wordlessly, choosing to stay silent and not tell her that it was the other way around. Hearing his name leaves a bittersweet taste in your mouth, and you quietly listen as your friends continue to curse out every aspect of the male specimen.
When you arrive at Greek Row, Yeeun is lucky enough to find a nearby parking spot, and the three of you hurriedly make your way to the Gamma Omega Tau house. The signature red cups are already strewn across the front lawn, and you’re pretty sure you see Yangyang vomiting in the bushes as some poor girl pats his back. A beer pong table had been set up out front as well, and when you enter the house, you can still hear Yukhei whooping loudly over Cardi B. advertising her WAP, no doubt winning another game with Jackson.
Yugyeom appears, and you wave Yeeun off when she gives you a worried glance, even giving her a thumbs up before she’s whisked away by her boyfriend. Giselle sighs enviously, looking at them before they disappear in the dancing crowd. “God, sometimes I want a boyfriend so bad, but then, I’m like, ‘Do I actually want one or am I just bored’, you know?”
“Yeah, I get that. It usually goes away the next day once you hook up with someone,” you say, and she hums in agreement. Her eyes scan the room until they land on one boy in particular. “Oh god, Dejun is here.”
You furrow your eyebrows. “What’s wrong with him?”
“He and Karina have some beef going on, and I don’t want to listen to another whole spiel about it.” Her eyes grow bigger when she sees him coming this way. “Okay, yeah, I gotta dip. I’ll be in the pool room. Don’t tell Dejun.”
With that, she nimbly slips her way through the tightly packed bodies and makes her escape. A few seconds later, Dejun shows up by your side. “Hey, wasn’t Giselle just here?”
“Uh, yeah, she needed a drink though.” You clear your throat, hoping he won’t see through your lie. He huffs in exasperation, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“I wanted to talk to her about something. Can you believe that Karina had the audacity to—”
You make sure to thank the heavens for sending you a savior in the form of— you squint your eyes to make out who called out your name from across the room before they widen in surprise—Na Jaemin.
He makes his way over to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder, before he addresses the other boy. “Hey, you don’t mind if I steal her for a bit, right? Thanks, man.”
Jaemin tugs you away before he can protest, and you find yourself in the kitchen, which is surprisingly devoid of anyone. He pours a mix of sodas and cheap whiskey into a cup, offering it to you. You accept it, taking a huge sip of it before wrinkling your nose. The mixers do a poor job of covering up the whiskey, and Jaemin laughs at your reaction, emptying the rest of the alcohol straight into his mouth.
“So what’s up?” You raise the plastic cup in a mock toast towards him before taking another sip. Yep, just as awful as the first taste, but the burning sensation down your throat becomes a little more bearable.
“I just… wanted to check up on you. How are you doing?” he says, tossing the empty bottle into the nearby recycling can. Hey, saving the environment is important, and it’s always good to remember the three R’s: reuse, reduce, and recycle. But make sure not to apply that to all rubbers, of course.
“I’ve… been better, I guess. It’s just one of those days.” You shrug and dump half of the contents of your drink into your mouth.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Jaemin watches you, tilting his head to the side as he finally breaks the silence, and you shake your head, finishing off the rest of your drink. “I came here to not talk about it.”
“Okay.” He pauses before reaching out to lightly touch your elbow. “Do you want to dance with me?”
You don’t say a word, but you reach up and lace your fingers with his, pulling him out to where the bass is pounding the loudest. Now face to face, you pull him even closer, and he places his hands on your hips. It feels foreign, but you shove that feeling away, just like you always do.
“You don’t seem happy,” he notes, leaning forward to speak closer to your ear in order to be heard. His breath tickles the shell of your ear, and you shiver slightly. You can smell faint traces of his cologne, freshly baked cookies, and whiskey.
You redirect the conversation, slipping your arms around his neck. “How’s everything?”
The underlying question is clear to Jaemin. How’s Jeno? He quickly maneuvers you around to avoid Yukhei who has suddenly barraged through the packed living room, like a crazed linebacker. The two of you are pressed up against each other now, and Jaemin looks down at you through his pretty eyelashes, studying your features with a softened gaze.
“He’s… been better. But he’ll live. He’s in the engineering lab right now, working late on his senior project. He’s almost done with his prototype, and—”
You kiss him.
It’s instinctive and impulsive, but something inside you snaps, and you can’t bear to hear him talk about Jeno anymore, so you do the first thing that comes to mind. Jaemin is caught off guard and freezes up for a few moments before he hesitantly kisses you back. His hands squeeze your waist gently before one goes up to cup your face in the exact way you like. But it feels all wrong. You card your fingers through his hair, slot your body against his, and press your lips against his harder and harder, desperate to feel something else, anything else.
But you don’t.
Breathing out your name, Jaemin pulls away from you, pupils blown wide, as he stares down at you, his parted lips red and swollen. He’s a pretty sight to see. A pretty mess, just like you. It’s like one of those Monet paintings that look stunning until you come closer and ruin the masterpiece. You lean forward and attempt to close the distance again because maybe the second time will be a charm, or maybe the third or fourth, but he leans back, shaking his head as his grip on your waist loosens.
“Y/N, Y/N, stop. You're crying.”
His fingers tenderly brush away the tears that have unknowingly fallen and stained your cheeks. You feel the teardrops sliding down now, wetting your skin, and Jaemin silently thinks your eyes still look beautiful, all starry and shining. He pulls you close and lets you cry into his shoulder, and you clutch onto the fabric of his shirt like a lifeline. He tucks you inside his oversized jean jacket, letting you hide from the world and remove the carefully crafted, brave persona you’ve been putting on for the past few days, months, years. You’ve nearly forgotten what the world outside of the fences you’ve built is like.
Pushing his way through the crowd, Jaemin brings you out to the back, hugging your figure to him as the two of you stand on the back porch, the loud music now muffled as are the boisterous shouts and conversations from your peers inside. You press your face into the crook of his neck and let him hold you, enveloping you in a comforting embrace as the tears stream down your face. He holds you for as long as you want—as long as you need.
You want to stay like this forever. But you can’t.
Inhaling sharply, you harshly wipe away the tears with the palms of your hands, no doubt smearing your makeup away, but you can’t care less. Jaemin has already seen you at your lowest before.
“Jaemin, I fucked up.” Your voice cracks. “I’m fucked up.”
“Hey.” He grabs your shoulders gently. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re not fucked up.”
You attempt to give him a watery smile, but end up hiccuping. “But it’s true. I can’t—I don’t know how to stay. I don’t know how to let anyone in. I don’t know how to trust anyone. I don’t know how to be someone capable of being loved. I don’t, I don’t know how to love. I don’t know if I can. But I want to, I want to so badly, but I just—I just can’t. Something is wrong with me.”
“Nothing is wrong with you,” Jaemin says firmly, staring directly into your eyes, and for a moment, you almost believe him. His voice grows quieter. “You’re not fucked up. You are capable of love. You are capable of loving. You wouldn’t be feeling this way if you weren’t. You wouldn’t be out here if you didn’t love him.”
Your eyes waver, and Jaemin gingerly reaches out to cup your face, keeping his steady gaze on you. He feels like an anchor amidst the hurricane, and you hold on tightly, terrified of spiraling away even farther. He holds you together as you fall apart, keeping you from self destruction: the green light on the other side.
“Y/N, you are worthy of being loved. Your family loves you. Your friends love you. Yeeun loves you. Giselle loves you.” Jaemin pauses, hesitating for a few seconds.
“Jeno loves you.” I think I love you.
At the mention of his name, you hate how your eyes start to fill with tears again, and you harshly blink them away. “He shouldn’t. I don’t deserve it.”
“Everyone deserves to be loved.”
You shake your head vehemently in silent protest, curling your hands until your fingernails create small crescent shapes in your palms, until you finally feel something through this numbness even if it’s a little pain. Jaemin reaches out and carefully unfurls your fists, squeezing your hands gently.
“Y/N, you deserve love. You might feel like you’re someone who isn’t worthy of love, but doesn’t that just mean you should try to become someone who you believe is worthy of love?” He smiles softly at you.
“Don’t you want to try?”
Jaemin catches a stray tear that manages to slip through your eyelashes, thumbing it away gingerly. It sparkles under the moonlight, like a diamond in the inky night sky that will always be out of his reach no matter how hard he tries. So this is how it feels to want something—someone—you can’t have, he muses, a foreign feeling settling in his bones, in between the cracks of his rib cage until it curls around his heart like poison ivy. The stars twinkle mirthlessly. They are his silent witness when he finally understands. This is what heartbreak feels like.
You take a breath, inhaling slowly, then exhaling. Jaemin stares at you so earnestly, holds you so delicately, and says those words so fiercely that maybe, just maybe, you start to believe him.
You’re terrified, absolutely petrified. You don’t know if you can ever become that someone. You’re still scared that it’ll hurt, that you’ll lose everything, that you’ll lose yourself if you let yourself love someone, that your worst fear will be confirmed. But you realize that you want to. You want to try. You want to try for yourself.
But you also want to try for Jaemin.
Because he believes in you even when you don't believe in yourself. Because you trust him right now more than you have ever trusted in yourself. Because it’s not as scary when he’s holding your hand. Because he gives you the courage to not be so afraid. And one day, you hope that you’ll be able to prove to him that it wasn’t all for nothing.
You call his name so sweetly, and he’s reminded of a distant memory from sophomore year when you sat across from him at the kitchen table, eyes sparkling and a stack of pancakes nearly toppling over in front of you. That was the first time he made pancakes for someone, other than himself or his friends.
That was the first time he tried.
“Jaemin,” you repeat his name, and he hums in acknowledgment. He waits for you patiently. You draw in a shaky breath. It’s now or never. You have to do this when you have the courage: the courage to stay, the courage to trust, the courage to love, the courage to take the first step.
“I want to try.”
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xiii. plastic hearts can break, too.
[ 4:23 p.m. ] you: can we talk pls?
[ 4:47 p.m. ] catboy 🐈: I’m free after my aerodynamics class
[ 4:48 p.m. ] you: cavanaugh hall in 15?
[ 4:59 p.m. ] catboy 🐈: ok
You wait anxiously, sitting on one of the benches in a more secluded area, and cross your legs, your knee bouncing up and down slightly in trepidation. The vines overhead and trees have already lost all their leaves long ago, leaving empty twigs waving aimlessly in the wind. The chilly air bites your nose, tracing its icy wisps against your cheeks, and you shiver slightly.
Jeno’s figure approaches the area, and you wave awkwardly, catching his attention. He walks over to you, one hand clutching onto the strap of his backpack tightly. Stiffly, he drops his bag on the ground, taking a seat beside you before staring down at his clasped hands.
“Um, hi,” you start, nervousness blooming in your stomach. “How have you been?”
“Fine,” he says shortly, crossing his arms across his chest. He still doesn’t relax, sitting on the edge of the bench with his back straightened. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I kissed Jaemin.”
Your confession hangs in the air, suspended like tiny pieces of glitter in a snowglobe. The boy next to you stiffens up, squeezing his hands into fists, and your mouth goes dry. You lick your lips before continuing, “I’m sorry, it was an impulsive thing, a stupid thing to do, an—”
“I know.”
You stare at him, mouth open. “You… know?”
Jeno slumps in his seat, unfurling his fingers as he turns and finally looks at you for the first time since that night, tired eyes gazing back at you. “I know. Jaemin told me.”
“He told you?” you repeat, still trying to process everything all at once, and he nods. He sits in stony silence until his face crumples, and his voice grows smaller, but you still hear it, your heart cracking a little more.
You hesitate, wavering between every single answer in the book to absolutely nothing at all. Why did you do it? You never thought about it. Sometimes, you just simply do things without determining the consequences. But the underlying reason is there when you dig deep down into the farthest crevice of your soul.
“Because I was scared,” you answer honestly, and this time, he knows you’re telling the truth. Jeno knows you better than anyone else after all. “Because I don’t know what to do when someone loves me. I don’t know what to do when I love someone. When I love you.”
Jeno’s eyes widen at that, and you give him a small smile, pulling at your sleeves to cover your hands. “I’m scared because that means I’m letting you in. I’m scared because I want you to stay. I’m scared because that means you can choose to leave whenever you want to, and I can’t do anything about it.
“So I always choose to leave first. To run away before the other person does. But because of that, I don’t know how to—how to love someone. I didn’t know what it felt like. But then you came along.”
Jeno doesn’t say anything, but you know he’s listening carefully. You pull your legs up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them as you look straight ahead, gazing at the one lone flower that has still managed to survive and bloom on the magnolia tree.
“You were—you were unexpected. You were relentless. You never gave up. You were fearless. You surprised me with your funny texts, your corny pick up lines, your cat pictures, your earnesty, your honesty… You really made it so easy to fall in love with you, Jeno.”
You chuckle quietly, “I didn’t even know I was falling in love with you until it was too late. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I was suffocating, and I couldn’t stay. I didn’t know how to stay without falling apart. So I ran. I did a bunch of stupid things to pretend that my feelings didn’t exist. If I don’t acknowledge it, then maybe it isn’t there. Maybe it’ll go away.
“But it didn’t. It just grew bigger and forced me to acknowledge it. When I kissed Hyunjin, I wished it was you. God, I wished it was you so badly. Did you know that? But I’m a coward, and I couldn’t face my feelings because I wanted to protect myself.
“Isn’t it so fucked up that we go around breaking other people’s hearts when we’re so afraid of our own being broken?” You laugh humorlessly. “I’m a selfish coward. I didn’t want my heart broken.”
“So you broke mine instead,” Jeno says bitterly, shoving his hands into his pockets, and you nod, the lump in your throat growing bigger.
“Yes, I did. I thought that meant, in some messed up way, that mine was safe. That I wouldn’t be able to get hurt if I pushed you away. That my feelings would go away, and everything would go back to the way it was. So I kissed Jaemin to prove to myself that everything was the same again. But of course, it wasn’t. It never was to begin with. And I ended up breaking not just your heart, but mine, too.”
“I didn’t know what it was like to be in love.” You draw in a quivering breath. “But I also didn’t know what it was like to be heartbroken. All I knew was that it hurt so fucking bad.”
“And all I could think of was you,” you say softly, and his breath hitches in his throat. “I hoped to god that it didn’t hurt this much for you. That’s when I realized I love you.”
“That's what love is, right? Thinking of the other person and putting them before you, being selfless and unafraid, letting someone else hold your heart and trusting them to not break it.” Your eyes water, but you attempt to harshly blink the tears away. You swallow hard. “Jeno, I’m sorry for being selfish. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I’m not ready to love you.”
Your eyes fill with unshed tears before you squeeze them shut, inhaling shakily. “But I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to be someone deserving of love, someone I’m proud of—someone I love. I don’t know how long it’ll take… but I’m trying.”
You clasp your hands together, twisting and turning the rings on your fingers, as you bow your head slightly, eyes trained on the golden loops—on the gold chain around your wrist, the tiny initial dangling and catching the faint sunlight. You take a deep breath, exhaling slowly. You don’t expect a response from him, but he carefully reaches out and places his hand over yours, curling his fingers around yours.
“I know,” he answers softly at last. Jeno speaks quietly, barely above a whisper, just for you to hear before the wind scatters his words.
“I believe in you.”
When Jeno leaves, you choose to sit there for a little longer. You are alone, but you no longer feel lonely.
The right person at the wrong time, when someone is ready and someone is not, when you both fall in love a little too hard, a little too fast, and a little too soon, it is still love, is it not? For him, it is love. For you, it is love. Yet sometimes, love on its own isn’t always enough for someone to stay. It slips through your fingers like sand in an hourglass. You can try to pick it up over and over again, but it becomes a relentless cycle of the grains of glass escaping between your desperate grasps, akin to two hands of a clock chasing each other round and round.
In another lifetime, in another universe, where another you and another him exists, perhaps they are in love. In someplace where there was never any fear, never any hurt, never any doubt, never any hesitation, there may be a you and a him who fall in love and stay in love. You hope that’s true. You hope that there’s a happily ever after for you and him somewhere out there—that there’s a time where both of you are ready. It might not be now, it might not be here, but you hope there was, there is, there will be.
In this moment, there is love. There is love, but it is breaking both of your hearts. There is love, but it is time to let go.
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xiv. where flowers bloom, so does hope.
Time is the universe’s greatest healer.
Time allows for you to discover things about yourself that you found difficult to acknowledge in the past, allows for you to examine the mistakes you made, allows for you to grow and flourish as you learn to love these imperfections. You learn to shed the facade you've been cowering behind and become comfortable in your own skin. You create your own fire, instead of relying on another person’s warmth every night. Trials and tribulations dot your personal journey, but you are not alone in carrying the weight any longer as you allow your friends into the garden you painstakingly nurture. They plant seeds that take the place of what was lost and rebuild the broken fence with the addition of a gate, and you join them, sowing some of your own and tending to these flowers until they bloom into something ethereal and beautiful.
Time teaches you how to care for and love yourself, rather than simply exist in this body of yours. Time extends a hand to you, pulling you forward, when you feel yourself slipping back into the steep ways of the past. Time pieces together the broken fragments and glues them back together, making them stronger, making them wiser, making them braver, making them whole, making hearts that are ready to love once more.
Fiddling with the familiar breakfast charm dangling from your phone, you sit on the bench beneath the blooming wisteria vines, gazing at the magnolia tree with all its pretty flowers nearby. The petals all sway in the light breeze, and you admire the pinpricks of sunlight filtering through in between the shade.
“Hey, sorry, I’m late, Professor Chung returned our midterms today, and I stayed back to ask a few questions,” Jaemin says breathlessly, appearing by your side. You smile at him, standing up from your seat and slinging your bag over your shoulder.
“No worries, I was enjoying the view here anyway.” Shoving your phone in your pocket, you take notice of his reddened cheeks, and the corners of your lips quirk into another smile: a teasing one this time. “Did you run here?”
“Well, yeah, I didn’t want to make you wait,” he sheepishly admits, flushing slightly. “Do you wanna drop off your bag at your place before we go?”
“Nah, it’s alright, that’s out of the way, and I’m fine with carrying it.” The two of you start the walk towards your beloved drink shop. Jaemin hesitates before tentatively saying, “My place is on the way. We can drop off our stuff there, but…”
You catch the lingering tone and insinuation as he trails off, and your heart softens when you realize his consideration. Jaemin gnaws on the inside of his cheek, mistaking your silence as his blunder, but then you smile at him, nodding in agreement.
“That’d be great! Is Jeno there? I wanna ask him how his second date went. He seemed really nervous about it, but I really think they’re good together.”
“Wait,” Jaemin chokes, eyes widening as your words finally register in his brain, and he halts. “You know Jeno’s going out with Sei?”
“Of course I know. He’s been texting me for help this entire time.” You pause and turn back when you realize Jaemin is no longer walking side by side with you. “What’s wrong?”
“I just— you and Jeno, I thought—” he splutters, all thoughts flying out of his mind in a whirlwind, before he places his hands on your shoulders, peering into your eyes intently. “Wait, are you okay? How are you feeling? If you want to go print out pictures of Jeno and rip them up, that’s completely valid, and I support you, even if he’s my best friend.”
You laugh at that last sentence before you gently place your hands on top of his, squeezing them lightly. “I’m fine, Jaemin, really. It’s been over three months. Sometimes, things just don’t work out, but we’re both in a better place right now. Even if it means our feelings aren’t the same anymore.”
“But he still sends me cat pics, so that’s all that really matters anyway.” You add on as an afterthought with a small chuckle. Jaemin still searches your eyes for any underlying meaning, but this time, he finds none. Your eyes shine bright, and you give him a reassuring look. He lets go of you with a relieved sigh, resuming the walk with you by his side.
“So does this mean you might want to venture into the scary dating world, too? Find someone to grow old with and have a white picket fence house and three dogs with?” he says jokingly, hoping you don’t pick up the way his heart starts beating faster once the question slips from his mouth.
“Yeah, I do.”
Your honest response catches him off guard, and Jaemin almost stops in his tracks for a second time today, but he catches himself as his breath hitches in his throat.
“Oh? You found someone? Do I know them?” He clears his throat, and you hide a smile.
“You do know them very well actually.”
His heart stutters in his chest, but he steadies his voice. “Ah, is it Renjun? I know you said you had classes with him. Art, right? Or maybe Yukhei? You called him cute before. Or that dude in your finance class, Sungchan? What about—”
“Jaemin,” you cut him off gently before he shakes his head, babbling on, “No, let me guess! Is it that grad student, Eunwoo? Or your TA, Jungko—”
“Jaemin,” you interrupt him again, much more firmly this time, but he still pays no attention, rambling on until you grab his hand. Almost immediately, he shuts up, freezing up on the spot as his eyes zero in on your fingers wrapped around his.
“You’re holding my hand.” His voice is barely above a whisper as he stares at your interlocked hands in awe. His head whips up to look at you, eyes filled with childlike wonder. “Why are you holding my hand?”
“Because…” You hesitate, your heart seizing up in your chest. Standing here on the line between love and friendship, you tremble. Fright and courage both run in your veins, and your first instinct may be to run, but your second instinct is to stay. Your final instinct is to take the leap. You’re not quite ready to take the big jump this time. For now, it’s a small one, but you take it.
“Because I like you.”
His heart stutters in his chest, and Jaemin’s eyes grow wide, jaw becoming slack. “You like me? As in like-like me?”
“I like-like you. A lot.” You give him a timid smile. “I think I've always liked you, maybe since freshman year, but it took me this long to figure it out. But Jaemin, I really, really like you.”
He’s speechless, and you bite your bottom lip as you wait for him to respond. The bundle of nerves grows in your stomach until you can’t keep quiet anymore, piping up nervously, “So, um, will you go on a date with me?”
“Yes,” he breathes out. His eyes search yours, and it seems like he found his answer. Heart pounding in his chest, Jaemin laughs a little breathlessly in disbelief, replaying your confession in his head over and over again. You like him. You like him back. He wants to shout it from the rooftops and wear his heart on his sleeve, shirt, pants, heck, even his socks, just simply everywhere.
“So… does this mean I can take you on dates and hold your hand again and kiss you whenever I want, and you’ll call me yours?”
He fails to suppress the smile growing on his face, and your own face grows warm at his bold question, but you confirm it with a shy nod. He pulls you into his chest, unable to hold back any longer, wrapping his arms around you tightly because he finally can. You slip your arms around his neck, embracing him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck, lips quirking up into a smile of relief and happiness.
So this is how it feels to want someone and to be wanted, he muses, a foreign but welcomed feeling settling in his bones, in between the cracks of his rib cage until it blossoms around his heart like a garden in spring. This is how it feels to be yours.
And this is how it feels to be his. This is how it feels to accept love. You decide that it’s a rather pleasant feeling, one that’s not at all scary—never when it comes to Jaemin.
“Say it again please. Say you like me,” he murmurs, just to make sure he isn’t dreaming. You tilt your head up slightly to meet his gaze, reaching up and interlocking your fingers behind his neck as you proudly proclaim:
“Na Jaemin, I like you so fucking much, pancake ass and all.”
Laughing gleefully, Jaemin beams at you, eyes crinkling in the corners and positively sparkling. “You know what? Just this once, I’ll let that booty comment slide.”
“Because you know it’s true.”
“It’s not!”
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xv. breakfast at tiffany’s jaemin’s.
“This is my secret pancake recipe, and only you and I know it, so you have to guard it with your life.”
You’re standing in front of the stove, one of Jaemin’s old T-shirts draped over your figure, the long hem barely letting the borrowed pair of boxers you’re wearing peek out from underneath it. Holding the spatula in one hand and grasping the frying pan’s handle in the other, you wait patiently for the pancake to cook as Jaemin hovers around you, gripping onto the empty batter bowl.
“I solemnly swear on your pancake booty that I won’t tell a soul about your recipe. Not even Giselle, who’s been trying to bribe me with green tea Kit Kat’s and boba for the past few months.”
Letting go of the pan’s handle, you playfully swat his behind for good measure as he turns to put the bowl in the sink. Whipping back to face you, he scowls, stomping his feet childishly as he whines, “My butt is not flat! It’s small, but it’s there!”
“You’re right, I’m sorry, your butt gives Kim Kardashian a run for her money,” you concede, and he laughs loudly, satisfied with your response. Jaemin wraps his arms around you, his hand enveloping yours as he helps you expertly flick the pan to flip the pancake. Your little gasp of excitement when it lands perfectly has him breaking out into a grin, and he nuzzles his nose against your hair before resting his chin on your shoulder.
“Tomorrow morning, I’m cashing in on that waffles offer you gave me. And I expect the full culinary experience. I’m talking about having your hand on my hand and helping me whisk the batter and crack eggs, and you have to kiss me all the time because my apron says so.”
You burst out laughing, and he sulks for a moment until you finally agree. This is the happiest you have ever felt. You turn your face slightly to look at him, eyes gleaming like all the stars from that fated night, and Jaemin smiles back at you, leaning over to press his lips against yours tenderly. Your heart beats faster than ever and louder than ever, but you aren’t as scared as you were six months ago.
Falling in love isn’t as terrifying as you thought anymore. Not when you’re not alone. Not when someone is there to catch you. Not when it’s with Jaemin. After all this time, he’s still the one who believes in you, the one who patiently waited, the one who selflessly stayed, the one who fiercely loves. With him, you never had to pretend. He’s seen you at your lowest and your highest, your best and your worst, the good and the bad. You’ve bared every single ugly, vulnerable side of yours to him.
And yet, he chose to stay. He stayed from the beginning, and he’ll stay until the end. He chose to love you. He chose you. There are over seven billion people on earth, and you know that they don’t all have to want you, to love you, but you managed to find someone who does. You found someone who wants you, someone who loves you: someone you love in return.
Love is not a feeling; love is a choice. Feelings are fleeting and ever-changing, but you will always choose Jaemin. Because that’s love. It is choosing to push through the adversaries and hardships together, rather than taking the easier route and walking away. It is choosing each other yesterday, today, tomorrow, and for all the days of your lives. It is choosing to stay. It is choosing to try.
And everyday, you want to try for him and for you. Because that’s what you do when you love someone—whether it be yourself or someone else. You try everyday to become a better person: to become someone who loves and is loved. It’s a long journey ahead, but he believes in you. You believe in you. And one day, you’ll be ready to say those three little words to him.
But for now, for you and for him, this is enough.
The green light at the end of the road, the anchor in the middle of a hurricane, the glimmer of hope that bursts into bright flames, you are no longer afraid. He makes you feel safe, invincible, and even if nothing else is certain and the world is ending, you know you’ll be okay with him by your side. Because you’ve found your way home.
Home. They say that is where the heart is, and you’ve given yours entirely to Jaemin. You feel at home when you’re with him, and that thought alone makes flowers bloom in your chest.
So this is how it feels.
So this is love.
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Y/N’s unofficial guide on how to be the best girlfriend:
1. have fun. 2. never forget to cuddle when you stay the night. 3. kisses in exchange for pancakes is always a good deal. 4. hook up with your boyfriend once (and many more times afterwards, but who’s counting?). 5. fall in love with a boy named Na Jaemin.
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author’s note :: this is the true ending i had in mind, but for an alternate ending: pussy (un)blocked, please go back to where flowers bloom ♡
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jaeminncore · 4 months ago
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PAIRING: Lee Jeno x reader
GENRE: fluff, smut, boyfriend! jeno, soft dom! jeno
WARNINGS: explicit sexual content, virgin reader, soft dom! jeno, corruption kink, fingering, oral sex (fem receiving), praising, slight degredation, creampie, unprotected sex
AUTHORS NOTE: requested by anon! im actually pretty proud of this one hehe so i hope you like it!<3
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Jeno’s kisses were soft.
He was gentle, arms around you as if you were made of porcelain. You were clad in just your panties, a pretty white pair, as you sat in his lap, butterflies fluttering in the pit of your stomach.
To say you were nervous- well that would be an understatement. This was the first time he had seen you almost completely naked, the first time any boy had ever seen you naked. You definitely hadn’t been touched like he was touching you now, thumb rubbing sinful circles over your clothed clit, eliciting small whimpers from you.
Jeno knew this, of course, you had told him one day so he didn’t get the wrong idea when he made a move. He was an absolute angel, assuring you that you could take as much time as you needed, and he wouldn’t touch you until you were ready.
He thought you were absolutely adorable like this, all whiny and hesitant in his arms, wanting to be touched. The moment you had told him you were finally ready and needed him, he had obliged, which was how you ended up in your current position in the first place.
His tongue slipped into your mouth and you moaned, shuddering as he increased the speed over your panties. He was doing the absolute minimum to ease you into it, and even that had gotten you all riled up to the point where your panties stuck to your folds.
You could definitely feel his boner through the thin fabric. His lips travelled to your jaw and down your neck as he sucked lightly, enjoying the way you responded so eagerly, tilting your head to give him more access.
They travelled down to your collar bone and breasts, licking your right nipple again and again, until you were a whimpering mess, arching your back into his touch. He looked up at you through his eyelashes, with his lips wrapped around your nipple.
You grinded against his clothed dick, silently telling him you liked the way his mouth was on you at the moment. He smirked, lifting you off his lap and helping you lie down, fingers never relenting on your clit.
The way your eyes followed his every movement, wide and innocent, so absolutely oblivious to what he was going to do to you, it made blood rush to his cock that was begging to be released from its confines.
Rubbing the pads of his fingers against your clothed pussy, he hooked them under it and let his knuckles brush against your folds, admiring the small wet patch you had left on the white cloth as you mewled at the contact.
Pulling it down your legs until it hung off your ankle, his eyes turned to your cunt, licking his lips. You looked away almost immediately, flushing under his harsh gaze. You gasped when you felt his lips on your clit, kissing his languidly.
When he gave it a kitten lick, your breath trembled, hips shaking against his mouth, so much so that he had to throw an arm onto your torso to keep you in one place while he worked away at your pussy.
Licking, sucking harshly on your clit, and practically making out with your core, he moved downwards and lapped around your hole that was gushing out arousal with every thing he did. He sucked it out of you, thrusting his tongue into you suddenly, earning a choked moan from you.
He groaned against your pussy as if it was as pleasurable for him as it was for you. This sent vibrations through you, making you shiver and whimper. His fingers were back at your entrance, teasing it as he used his mouth to abuse your clit in the best way possible. 
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he slipped one finger in, pumping it in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace, making you ride it unknowingly. The sight was too erotic, so he added another finger, stretching you out nicely.
He flicked his tongue over your clit fast, eager to see you fall apart on his tongue, so you were ready to be ruined. He was thrilled at the fact that he would be the one taking your first time, and all your lingering innocent along with it.
“O-oh!” You cried out, “Jeno I-I’m-” You couldn’t even speak properly, words blending into each other just as your thoughts did. You were drunk on the pleasure he was so generously giving you, feeling as if you were going to burst any minute now.
And you did, coming undone with just a few more pumps of his fingers, that now curled inside of you skillfully, making your jaw slacken. He helped you through your high, your first release from something other than your own fingers.
“Feel good?” He asked, and you nodded, letting out a shaky breath. He smiled, crawling over you and kissing you softly, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants so as to release his throbbing cock.
“I bet you want more,” he said, voice lower than you were used to. Instead of responding, a moan slipped from your lips, almost embarrassingly so. “I bet you want my cock stretching you out and fucking you till you can’t speak, hmm? You want that, don’t you kitten?”
The nickname had your pussy clenching around nothing as you nodded eagerly. He stroked himself a few times, biting down hard on his lower lip. Lining it up with your entrance, he looked up at you.
“You sure you want to do this?” His voice had reverted back to being soft as he asked the question, concerned. The last thing Jeno wanted to do was cross any of your boundaries, especially when he knew you had never had sex before. You managed a breathless looking smile, trying to push yourself down on his dick.
“Yes baby, I’m sure.”
And with that, he pushed inside of you, making you let out a shaky moan, breathing going heavy. To him, your cunt felt like heaven, warm and dripping wet. He had done that, he had made you a drenched mess, all with just his mouth.
Perhaps it was a little daring to not use protection on your first time, but you had insisted you wanted him raw, so you could feel him properly for your first time. You pulsed around him, going breathless with the stretch as you adjusted to his size.
“So fucking tight,” he moaned, pushing some of your hair out of your face as he leaned down to kiss you, “Tell me when I can move, okay?”
You agreed to do so, relishing the way his lips moved against yours. You moaned into the kiss, telling him that it was okay to move. He grinded into you, swallowing your moans with his mouth as he slipped his tongue inside yours.
It pained a little at first, which was expected, but it soon melted into ecstasy, and he had you begging for him to go faster.
Slowly, he began fucking you properly, moving in and out of your pussy at a pace that satisfied the both of you. It felt so good, you wished you had succumbed to your desires earlier. 
Waves of euphoria crashed onto you as he went faster, the tip of his cock brushing against a spot that your fingers had never even reached, which had you throw your head back and moan aloud. Your wetness and cum made it easy for him to thrust into you, and Jeno drank in every little thing about you in the moment.
His hand gripped your inner thigh, pulling one of your legs over his shoulder when he pulled out to the tip, before slamming right back into you. The new angle felt even better, having you shrieking in pleasure as you clenched around him.
When his fingers brushed against your abused clit, you screamed and that only encouraged him further, pinching and twisting the little nub until there were tears in your eyes. He rubbed it in figures of eight, making you blabber and mumble all sorts of nonsense in your pleasure induced high.
“Look at you,” he cooed, groaning, “All wet and fucked out on my cock, who knew you’d be such a slut? Taking me so well.” He praised, loving the way you were slowly loosing all your shyness and becoming more vocal. You shook your head yes vigorously, sucking his cock into your sobbing pussy.
“Please,” you begged, not knowing what you were pleading for in the first place. Those tears prickled the sides of your eyes, threatening to stream down your face as an offering of your delirious state. 
He pounded into you, filling you up and hitting all the right spots. “Please what darling? Did no one teach you to finish what you start? Or have you already been fucked dumb?”
“P-please let me cum,” you whimpered around, dangerously close to letting go. “Please let me make a mess, please-”
Your words seemed to please him as he went even faster, if that was possible, slamming into you as his fingers worked away at your clit, other hand coming up to wrap around your neck. He squeezed slightly, adding the softest of pressure and that sent you over the edge.
You came, and came hard, better than you ever had on your own. He pumped into you through your high, fucking your own cum into yours cunt as he finally came himself, filling you up and making sure it had all been emptied out.
He pulled out, breathing heavily as he watched you shiver slightly, full of both your cum. Grinning to himself, since he knew he was the one who had brought you to this state, he licked his lips.
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jenremii · 22 days ago
Prove It (M)
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Pairing: husband!Jeno×Reader
Genre: smut, pwop (minor plot), mafia!au, arranged marriage!au
Warnings: implied breeding kink, drunk sex, unprotected sex, fingering, somewhat exhibitionism (there's people in the house and anyone can come in), dirty talk, degradation (?), penetration, cum eating. [I think that should be all]
Summary: As the only children of two different mafia gangs, you have been arranged with Jeno to bring peace for both parties and to strengthen your business. Jeno has never shown much interest in you throughout the 3 years of marriage leaving you to wonder about his true feelings towards you. A certain dinner with your parents and the discussion of children lead to glasses of whiskey in the kitchen and then something else.
Note; First time writing smut 😬 Feedback is appreciated.
"Ah, my dear y/n and Jeno. So so glad that you two could make it tonight" your mother coos once the door opens. Stepping aside, she let's the two of you into the house while she clings onto you, fixing your already neat hair and just looking at how much you have grown. You saw her just last week and you're sure you didn't grow much. But, let mothers be a mothers. "You two take a seat and I'll bring over the dishes" she says to the both of you, ushering you and Jeno to the dining table while your mother yells for your father who was presumably upstairs in his office doing paperwork like always.
While your mother comes in and out of the kitchen with dishes in hand, your father comes down not so long after wearing a neat black suit like he always does. "Jeno, Y/n" he greets, nodding his head at the both of you as he takes a seat. "Look at that! The whole family is here. Isn't that just wonderful?" your mother comes back with a smile, hands clasped together while eyeing you and Jeno. "Mhm, really wonderful" you reply, eyeing Jeno just slightly. He sits up straight with his hands on his lap, face stoic with just a slight smile to show his manners towards the elderly.
"Well, let's eat up!"
"So Y/n, how old are you this year?" your father asks in the middle of cutting his steak. He brings the fork to his mouth, sharp eyes landing on both you and Jeno. "I'm gonna be 25 this year, Dad" you reply to him, bringing a piece of broccoli into your own mouth. "25 huh... " he side eyes your mother who gulps down her food and puts down her knife and fork to speak. "Y/n, I suppose you know there's this little rule where... " she glances at your father then back at you. "... leaders should start planning for children when they hit 25. As they say, the younger you are when you have kids, the longer time you have with them and you know for our business, that's a great opportunity to you know, train them"
You hear Jeno cough next to you, clearly having choked on his food slightly. "Are you alright Jeno?" your mother asks and Jeno just nods. "Sorry, the food went down the wrong hole-" He drinks his water and smiles at your parents just to show that he was fine.
"Anyways, " your father changes the subject back to its original topic. "I want you and Jeno to start trying for a kid alright? The year is ending and neither of you are getting any younger. I expect a heir to our business by July of next year"
The discussion ends there.
The car ride home was painfully silent. You didn't know what to say; opening up ur mouth only to close it a while after since no words came out.
"Hey Jeno-" was all you could say. "About what they said earl-"
One hand on the wheel and the other going to your lap, Jeno speaks while still keeping his eyes on the road while your brain continues to process the sudden action. "We'll try soon? Don't worry about it. Let's continue this at home."
Back at home, the house was quiet. Seems like the rest of the members called it a night and went to bed. "Whiskey?" Jeno asks, heading to the kitchen and opening the cabinet to pull out a glass of whiskey. "Sure, whiskey sounds nice" you reply. Jeno hums and brings down two glasses from the cabinet. You put down your bag and Jeno pours the both of you some whiskey. "Cheers" he holds up his glass. "Cheers." Your glasses clink together and the both of you start drinking.
As more alcohol goes into your system, your brain slowly turns to mush and you continue to blabber your thoughts with no restriction, Jeno by your side nodding lazily at every word.
"And then I get pushed off the swings by this guy and we all start playing with mud" you slur, eyes droppy and no sense of whatever the hell you were talking about. The both of you go quiet for awhile until you speak up.
"Do you love me?" The question makes Jeno's head shoot up despite his eyes still being half closed. "Me?" He points at himself. "Who else" you reply, annoyed by the stupid question. It was only you and Jeno in the kitchen. Who else would you be asking that question to?
"Of course I love you!" He yells out lazily, pointing a finger at you. "I'd let you know that I'd jump in front of a bullet for you. You don't know how many times I think about murder when I see you talking to Jaemin. Like hello, I'm right here, talk to me"
"Well that's because you don't talk to me either" you argue back. "Only Jaeminie talks to me... "
"Well ion like it. You're mine. End of story."
You squint at him, putting your glass down and walking over to him. "I'm yours?" He nods in reply, turning so that his body faces your and placing his hands on your waist. "But it doesn't fell like it" you mutter out, finger tracing his jawline. Both of you staring at each other with half lidded eyes. "But that's the truth" He brings one hand to your face, thumb tracing your bottom lip. "You're my wife. So you should be all mine"
Leaning closer, you grab onto his tie, pulling him closer - noses rubbing against each other.
"Then prove it"
No more words needed to be said. Holding onto your jaw and smashing his lips onto yours, your lips dance against each other until he forces his tongue past your lips. You let him do as he pleased, his tongue exploring the whole of your mouth while his hands got curious. Wondering hands go down to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze before he lifts you onto the marbled counter with both hands; your lips never leaving each other's. Pulling your thighs apart with rough hands, he makes home for himself in the middle. Skirt pulled up to your ass, he grinds his crotch against your panty covered one. Thick length coming to life behind his black dress pants. "Gonna fuck you full of cum you'll feel it for days.. " he pulls away from your lips to groan into your ear. Large hands run up your chest just to rip open the pretty white blouse you wore that day. "You gonna leave me leaking like a stupid bitch?" you moan into his ear earning a deep growl to errupt from his chest, nodding against you as he pulls down your bra letting your breasts pour out. His large hands massage your mounds so gently with a hint of roughness. He couldn't help but give it a little squeeze too as he continues to suck little love bites on your neck. The urge to make it hurt was so tempting.
"Poor little girl must've been starving so much until you just had to rub your self on Jaemin hm?" Jeno mutters, panting into your neck while a finger pulls your panties to the side. The pad of his finger rubbing gently over the hardening nub, going lower just to rub your growing wetness all around that slutty cunt. "Naughty girl" he mutters. Finger pushing into your tight hole, he thrusts slowly. Mouth going to your chest, teeth clamping down on a nipple as he begins to suckle on it. "Want your cock so badly Jeno... " He hums against you, vibrations sending shivers down to your core, more wetness pouring out, satisfying the man on you. "Stupid bitch gets wet so easily..." He pushes another finger in, you wince slightly at the stretch. "Does Jaemin talk to you like this? Has he ever had his fingers in this little cunt?" You shake your head against him, holding in the moans that so desperately wanted to come out. "Only me?"
"Only you, Jeno"
He smiles, adding a third finger in. Thrusting harder, faster, making it hurt. You couldn't help the small moans that left your mouth, Jeno chuckling under his breath before latching his lips back onto yours to drink in those sweet sweet moans. "Gonna fill you up like no one can, Y/n.
Your knee lifts to rub against his now fully hardened length. He stops the assault on your lips and your cunt to fumble with his buckle. Leather belt passing through each hoop until it finally comes out. The horny rage that consumed him only letting him unzip and unbutton his pants to pull out his cock from its confinement. "Fuck... " he groans, hand rubbing up and down his thick girth. Precum dribbling from the tip of his fat cock. Your mouth parts, drool dripping from the side at the mere sight of his cock. So big it couldn't possibly fit in your tiny cunt. "Gonna fuck you full. Make sure you remember who you belong to. Who you've always belonged to" Hands holding onto your thigh, he spreads you as far as you can go, bringing the tip of his cock to your leaking entrance. Teasing by rubbing the head around your clit before dragging it down to your awaiting hole. Fingers shoving into your cunt again, he hums in dissatisfaction. "Pussy so small can it even take my cock? " He tuts mockingly, arousal sobering his mind enough to bring out that little tease in him. "We'll make it fit. You'll make it fit" you say making him grin. "That's the attitude that I love" Drenched fingers pulling out of your cunt leaves you whining for more. Thankfully you don't have to wait long until he pushes his fat cock into your hole. Beads of tears drip from your eyes from the massive stretch. "You're doing so well baby, taking my cock like a good girl" Jeno licks up your nose bridge, pressing a final kiss on your forehead before thrusting in slowly. "Okay?" You nod against him, signalling him to continue pushing and pulling until you have fully adjusted.
Pain eventually turns into nothing but pleasure. The look of your eyes rolling to the back of your head gives Jeno the green light to start slamming his hips against yours. You cunt leaking so much helping his cock glide in easier, cunt making home for him, and him only.
"Baby's cunt so fucking tight. Gonna have to train you more often so you can take my cock am I right?"
Brain left empty, you can only nod rapidly. Not even 5 minutes in and you were already fucked dumb. "Stupid baby already cock dumb and I only gave you the first taste" Hands on your hips, he rams into you with power. Using all his leg strength to push his cock so deep into you. The tight cling of your cunt around his cock drives him nuts, pulling out of you quickly. Just before you could whine, he flips you over and bends you over the counter, cock pushing into your from behind. His hand flies to your mouth, shutting you up just before you could moan out.
"Fuck fuck fuck" he chants, arms wrapping around your waist, almost crushing you with his body weight as he pounds deeper and harder. One hand going to your clit, rubbing it in fast circles, coaxing you to cum first.
"Hnnng, Jeno" you cry out, tears spilling from your eyes from the intense pleasure this man was giving you. The coil in your stomach beginning to form, seeking release. "What? Too much for you? Thought you wanted my cock so badly? Now you can't take it?" His hips slow down, rocking into you in a painfully slow pace. Really letting you feel the shape of his cock in your cunt. "No no no! Please keep goi-" He grabs onto your hair, pulling your head back until it touches his shoulder. "Keep quiet. You might attract attention you stupid slut. Unless... that's what you wanted? For the whole house to see what a cockslut you are?" Your head shakes in his hold. "Then keep quiet" He pulls off his tie, forming it into a ball and shoving it into your mouth before his hips start to move faster once again, bringing back that feeling in your gut. Fat girth pushing in and out of you bringing you closer and closer to a promising release. "a-am cohmung" you try to say behind the gag. Jeno sucks on your neck, one hand playing with your mound. Fingers tugging and pulling gently. "Then cum. Cum for me"
The coil snaps, making you see white. Jeno groans at the feeling of your sticky release leaking from your wall with every draw back of his cock. White arousal coating his cock and balls. " Eyes crinkling shut, he moans sweet nothings into your ear, feeling his own climax build up. Jeno gives short but hard thrusts making your body jolt with every snap of his hip. "So fucking perfect... M'cumming.." He stills for a moment, indulging in the tight walls of your cunt before finally shooting his warm seed into your fucked out hole.
He pulls out slowly, white cum dripping from your cunt and onto the tiled floors. He gets on his knees, cussing under his breath. "Fuck, look at you dripping with my cum" He spreads your cheeks apart, looking at the way his thick cum was squished between your pussy lips. Jeno uses his finger to rub his seed up and down your slit, leaving a total mess; even going so far as to teasingly rub your bud making you shake from sensitivity. Licking his lips, he dives into his treat. Lips sucking on your swollen pussy hard, he makes sure to lap up any remaining cum on your cunt. Hands squeezing your cheeks hard enough to leave a mark.
Your eyes squeeze shut from the overstimulation, crying out his name softly. "Jeno, Jeno, Jeno" you chant over and over. With a kiss to one of your cheeks, he gets back up, wrapping his arms around your waist, swaying you from side to side. "You look so pretty fucked with cum... If this doesn't put a baby into you, we'll just have to try again... and again until that pregnancy test turns positive am I right?" he nibbles on your earlobe, warm breath hitting your cheeks. "Mhm... you can fuck me for as long as you like. I'm all yours" you breathe out, Jeno successfully knocking the wind out of you.
He smiles. "Atta girl"
You stay in his embrace with your eyes closed, enjoying his company. You were so zoned out you didn't even realize when Jeno began to walk the both of you to the fridge. It was only when your back touched the cold metal, you opened your eyes. "Hm?"
He bends down, lips grazing your ear. "round 2? "
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jeontaeil · 4 days ago
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pairing: gamer!jeno x fem!reader
genre: smut, fingering, blowjob, rough, unprotected sex.
words: 1.2k+
warnings: 18+ content, read at your own discretion.
summary: you wake up with a desire for your boyfriend's cock even though he gave it to you so good the previous night. luckily for you, jeno doesn't mind satisfying your hunger.
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you woke to the beautiful sound of gunfire coming from your boyfriend’s computer. what a perfect way to start your day.
once the fact that you were butt naked had settled in, you shifted around, looking for something to throw on so that you could be somewhat decent for the early (it was not) hour. jeno’s black t-shirt seemed to do the trick.
stretching your body, you let out an animalistic scream (thereby signaling your awakening) and sauntered over to jeno’s side. he paid you absolutely no mind, clicking away on his keyboard with his nose only a centimeter away from the monitor. you had come to the conclusion that the only two things that mattered to him were his games and your pussy, nothing more and nothing less.
the previous night served the perfect example to support your claim. after losing a round of valorant, he had gotten up from his chair, grabbed both your ankles, and forcefully yanked you down the bed, completely ignoring the fact that you were trying to do your homework. before you could protest, he tugged your pants off and pushed two slender fingers inside your walls. then of course, you -being a total sucker for his heavenly digits- succumbed to your desires and allowed him to make you cum (spoiler alert: he made you squirt). you thought things would conclude there, that you’d both be on your merry ways, but you were wrong. seeing you cum once didn’t satisfy him enough, and so, he pulled his dick out and fucked the living shit out of you until you were a screaming, crying mess. once he was done, he went back to his computer, starting a new round with his comrades as he if hadn’t just shoveled his way through your pussy.
essentially, that was why you had woken up naked, and as you stood by him now, you felt a familiar urge brew inside you. biting your lip, you trailed a finger up his neck, making him shudder. brushing your hand away, he continued ignoring you. just cause he’d shunted you didn’t mean you were going to give up. you ruffled his hair and plopped down on his lap. jeno said nothing, adjusting his position so that his arms went around you, trapping you between his chest and the computer. you threw an arm around his shoulder, crossing your legs, and leaned up against him.
you stared at his face, admiring every little detail. you sure had gotten lucky with this one. jeno wasn’t phased by your intense observing and you were starting to get antsy by the lack of acknowledgment. you needed him to pay attention to you so that you could get to the point. perhaps he needed some innocent distractions.
now your method of choice was far from innocent, but it served its purpose. your lips found his skin, a spot right under his jaw where you knew he couldn’t hide a reaction. you could feel him start to tense up underneath you. the clicking of his fingers on the keyboard slowed as you successfully stole his attention away.
“what are you doing?” he asked inanely, despite knowing exactly what you wanted. you didn’t answer him, instead intensifying your kisses. his jaw clenched and he let out a short breath. “you’re still horny? didn’t i fuck you hard enough last night?”
there it was. those were the exact words you’d been waiting to hear. when you pulled away jeno knew he had the answer to his question. scoffing in disbelief, he saved his game and hooked two arms under your knees, effortlessly lifting you up. "you're so needy," he said, tossing you on the bed.
scrambling up it excitedly, you welcomed jeno on top of you. he captured your lips in a strong kiss, squeezing your waist gently. he tasted like red bull and tortilla chips and you were starting to wonder if he’d even gone to sleep after he’d taken care of you last night.
before you could deepen the kiss, he pulled away and started trailing kisses down your neck, simultaneously slipping a hand between your legs. with a few quick rubs to your clit, he made you wet enough to easily slip two fingers inside your walls. jeno was clearly not wasting any time. he began pumping his fingers in and out of you, making your toes curl. the feeling of his warm lips on your skin made your breaths falter. “feels so good,” you murmured, holding onto his shoulders. he hummed against your skin and sat up, pulling you along with him. taking his fingers out of you, he placed them against your lips, prompting you to lick them clean. you sucked on them, maybe a second too long, but he was satisfied.
pushing his shorts down, he brought your mouth to his cock. you wrapped your fingers around his base and started bobbing your head up and down, feeling him harden up against your tongue. jeno hissed and groaned, letting you go on a little longer than he’d intent, really taking in the pleasure before pulling you away from him. he made you lay back down again and spread your legs, rubbing his tip along your slit. once he entered you, he raised your knees to your chest and began pounding into you without missing a beat. he was going harder than he had last night and suddenly you felt like he was trying to prove a point.
the sheer force of his thrusts was making the bed shake and squeak underneath you two. your upper thighs were starting to go numb too cause of the way his hips were practically slapping against your skin. you felt like you hadn’t mentally prepared yourself for this. after waking up mere minutes ago, getting railed by your boyfriend wasn’t very easily registered. your mind was a little foggy and the pleasure felt unreal. still, you couldn’t get enough of it.
his cock was moving so deep inside you, hitting all the spots at just the right time. you could feel his nails digging into your skin. the way he was grunting near your ear turned you on even more. not only did he fuck you real good, but he also looked amazing while he did it, and you couldn’t get enough of him.
soon enough you felt a knot beginning to form in your stomach. you’d been longing for it so bad and it was finally here. “i’m gonna cum,” you warned him, gripping onto his shoulders desperately. even though it seemed like he couldn’t, he started fucking you faster, earnestly chasing your orgasm. a few strong thrusts later he sent you into a thigh quivering orgasm. he continued pounding into you, fueled on by the arousal that gushed down your walls and he wasn’t done by the time the overstimulation began settling in.
a string of curses later, he buried his face in the crook of your neck and snapped his hips into you, letting his seed fill you up. he rode out his high with a few sloppy thrusts and pulled out of you, falling limp at your side. you had a giddy smile on your face, feeling warm and tingly all over. “what if i tell you i still want more?”
jeno looked over at you, completely unfazed. “i would not be surprised.”
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yojeongin · a month ago
change in you | l.jn
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→ turned vampire!lee jeno x vampire queen!reader
synopsis: centuries of slumber can do much to a hungry queen, what else than to take it out on the one who woke you up?
genre: vampire au, queen of the damned au, georgian era/historical au, smut, horror (?)
tw: adults only! if you’re not of legal age do not read this! dom/sub/switch dynamic, corruption, biting, blood/blood letting/drinking, oral (m + f receiving), deepthroating, very rough sex, unprotected sex, semi size kink, cock bulge, cum swallowing, creampie, fingering, religious guilt/mentions of religion, mentions of abusive parents, death (not mcs)
wc: 11.4k+
© 2021 YOJEONGIN all rights reserved — please do not translate, take, nor repost my works on other social media’s. this is my ONLY writing platform.
disclaimer: this is purely fictional; in no way am I condoning this behavior, trying to offend anyone, nor is it meant to place such image on the idol. read at your own discretion.
song(s): change (in the house of flies), digital bath—deftones | if I was your vampire—marilyn manson | strangers—the rose | little dark age—mgmt
an: happy halloween here's my gift and my contribution for not giving jeno smut in air bag and for being gone for nearly 2 years. also I wrote this before the 127 vampire agenda so enjoy vampire jeno
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Jeno had always been brought up to learn that God was the only one he should fear. That God was the only one to dictate what would happen if he was to sin.
His first encounter with God’s wrath was when he had grown to be considered both a man and a child. Jeno didn’t know much about the world but he did know about the word of God from his religious mother who spent the majority of his life forcing them down his throat until he was able to attend school.
Even when he wasn’t in school and his studies were done, she’d drag the boy to the chapel and continue to teach him about the word of God over and over again until he wept once she forced sins he hadn’t committed out of his bloodied mouth from the slaps she’d given him when he denied any.
His first encounter came through the actions of his father’s own sins. As he always did, the boy had walked to the chapel down the road from school. Mother had engraved into his head that after learning the subjects at hand, especially science– he was to pray for forgiveness if he was to believe all those ‘zannies’(1) told him to.
And so as he crossed the worn-down wooden doors and up the aisle to the marble altar table in which he laid his lit candle as an offering, the boy made his way down the steps, leaning down on a kneeler.
Tongue tied as he looked up at the crucifix, glaring down at him for all his thoughts— Jeno closed his eyes hoping that would help him let out what he was conditioned to believe were sins.
His feeble fingers overlapped to create a cross with his thumb and index, bringing them to his forehead, chest, left and right shoulder, just to finish at his trembling lips. “In nomine Patris et Filii, et Spiritus Sanсti…” (2)
Jeno lowered his head, struggling to bring words out of his mouth and despite knowing he had to confess with a priest, he opted to leave it up to God himself. His ‘sins’ were nothing but guilt embedded by his mother but that same guilt was the reason he was here.
He forced it out, even if they weren’t true— Jeno forced out sins that his brain created and made him believe he did. This was the worst part of prayer, knowing he didn’t do anything but making himself feel worse for not doing anything.
But because of that guilt, his true sin came to flourish that same moment. Moans of pleasure rung inside his ears. They were soft mewls at first but as he grew concerned, they became louder to let him know they were real and not just his sinful creations.
He didn’t know what caused them, never in his life had he heard something so unearthly but captivating. He had heard of mermaids who sung their hypnotizing songs at bay and lured fishermen in just to devour them once the men were finally enchanted. He figured this was the same sound the mermaids made but he didn’t think it was quite as beautiful as the men had described.
The louder they got the more of a screech it sounded like. His knees tore away from the worn-out leather of the kneeler, dusting off whatever dust particles stuck to his breeches. He felt his knees ache the moment he extended them but that minimum amount of pain was not compared to the following.
He looked around, the chapel was empty and the crucifix looked at him more angry than minutes before as if it had now dictated what would happen to him in the next few minutes. The gold embedded decorations around it shining bright despite the dim lighting within, only illumination coming from the lit candles all left as offerings or thanks for the completed miracles.
Jeno’s steps echoed through the chapel just like the moans they chased. He figured they came from outside the chapel and back to the nun quarters given every door inside were open and showed no sign of human beings.
With the realization that no one was around, Jeno had changed his thought of mermaids and into the paranormal. He had heard stories of women dying inside the chapel. Most of the time those abandoned by their lovers in the altar and opting to take their life rather than facing the mockery of the people knowing they’d be labeled ‘the unlovables’ which would only push away future prospects.
Now he figured those wails and moans came from their ghosts, trying to scare him for lying about his sins and for the torment he put himself through. His body shook now, his blood ran cold across his body the moment he stepped out of the chapel from the back into the nun’s courtyard.
It was empty, abandoned to be exact. No one in sight to tell him to get out and it scared him more than the wails now. He knew the unprivileged children had been taken on a trip to the mountains by the nun’s but he didn’t think all of them would be gone.
He was right of course, as he walked further down the courtyard and into the last few rooms; Jeno heard the moans louder than ever. He had found the location of his terrors and as he leaned in closer to decipher if it was real or a product of the ghosts; he heard a familiar voice.
Jeno heard the raspy deep voice of a man in there along the loud wails. It was so familiar, painfully so. He heard how it cooed at the moaning person to take it like they always do. In gratitude the moaning outlet hummed, responding with a nasty high pitched “Always…”
Upon hearing the words he hears daily: “—Sweet Petunia!” Jeno burst open the door, bells loudly ringing inside his head, making his eyes run from side to side in a matter of insanity. The people behind the doors, laying on bed in a position he didn’t know but could feel was wrong.
“Father!...” Jeno exclaimed, His lip quivering at the scene in front of him. Jeno couldn’t say if this was wrong or right but he knew what sin looked like and this felt like a major sin. In a matter of seconds, his father had removed his naked figure from Sister Merida, dressing himself quickly. The young girl rushed to cover herself with the blanket underneath her as Jeno tried his best not to stare at her for long. There he committed yet another sin.
She wasn’t much older than him, only a few years but his father was a ragged old hag pushing 60 and for him to be messing around with a young woman along being married to the neurotic person his mother was— Jeno had finally known how much of a disgusting sinner his father was.
Jeno learned much that day. He finally learnt what ‘thou shall not commit adultery’ meant in the ten commandments when his father had taken a grip of his black locks and pulled at them all the way back to the chapel, leaving Sister Merida to dress herself.
He felt immense pain from the tugging, his scalp ached and so did his knees when his father brought in pebbles from outside, forcing his oldest son to kneel on top of them and repeat his daily prayers very slowly. Using his wrinkled hands to push on his shoulders so he felt the pain of the pebbles making indents on his flesh even more.
He wept and wept, pleading for help knowing that he didn’t commit any sin besides look too long at Sister Merida’s body and for that he repented enough. “My sins are your sins and to make you avoid my sins, you ought to pay for them!” His father yelled at him, watching the stream of tears run painfully across his son’s face.
What ensued next was his father dragging him out of the chapel to the Nun’s quarters, and through the backdoor in the kitchen to which the both walked through the woods and to their home. His mother had been waiting in worry given the boy had taken so long to come back home and dinner was ready, becoming colder by the minute now.
Her worry grew when he saw her husband cling his hand against their son’s arm. Crimson anger on the elder’s face.
“Your pure clean son— Nothing but a sinner! Caught him peeking at Sister Merida when changing her robes. He’s nothing but a deviant! You preach and preach cleanliness but look at what I brought you. Nothing but useless, all of you! Especially you!” His father pointed at the woman.
Her body shook and his tears reflected on her face. The moment his father let go of his arm and made him drop to his knees to plead at his mother— Jeno cried even more begging her to believe that it wasn’t true, that he wasn’t a pervert like his father made him out to be.
As he kept begging and crying, the back of his mother’s hand came across his perfectly sculpted face. Not only once but at least four times since after she opted to get the wooden spoon she was to use to serve the food and beat him until he shook from the pain.
“Thou shall not commit adultery, thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor, and thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother!” Her last streak had exhausted her, pulling out a chair to sit and watch her son cry in pain for a sin he didn’t commit but rather his father.
As his mother looked at the damage she made, the weltz on his skin, and clothes ripped by how hard she was hitting him. She was a sinner too, a bigger sinner than he was and by her sins he was paying the price now.
“Our sins are your sins.”
That’s the fear he knew and something he never wanted to experience again. For the following years, Jeno gave out and allowed his parents to dictate his life. If he was to sin through them, then he opted to live as their shadow so he could at least know he was guilty if he followed their lead.
With his father’s obsession with the violin after their trip to France for merchandise, the old man had forced him to become a musician on the side, knowing well his son would still take the family business once he died.
That obsession is what led to where Jeno was now. After finding an abandoned mansion behind the graveyard and in front of the river, in which Jeno could practice away from those complaining about the noise— the old man sat across his son, satisfaction on his face and anger whenever he missed a note.
As he continued to chastise his son for small errors, Jeno grew angry. It was becoming obvious and with that his father laughed, continuing his mockery and berating, making Jeno’s actions against the violin become violent.
The bow harshly sliding against the strings, their screams of pain louder by the second as Jeno tried to drown his father’s belittling in order to avoid yet another sin and the consequence of it. He heard laughter, it was becoming louder than the screeching of his bow and violin, and just as he had felt the anger run to his head and ready to strike at his father after having enough of it— The mirror on the wall cracked, causing both males to turn in fear.
They watched intently as the glass shards became smaller and smaller as they fell to the ground, revealing what seemed to be a body behind the frame. His father full of fear now and feeling his heart begin to stop, closed his eyes cowering behind his son.
In you came, your limbs weak and in pain after centuries of being forcefully asleep in the confines of a wall. Beginning to move them, they creaked from the lack of movement. You didn’t make a noise besides groan at the pain that soon stopped when you stood in front of the young man.
“Why must you wake me?” Your voice was horse but upon hearing it, Jeno’s chest clamped up feeling speechless. If there was more to the feeling of sin, you were sin personified.
Wearing nothing but a gold brasier that was made to fit only you and a flimsy cloth (visible to not leave much to the imagination) around your waist that was only held by a band of gold— Jeno was now aware of what a woman of sin looked like and he for once did not see sin as bad.
He couldn’t speak, he bit down on his tongue hard enough trying to figure it out. If it wasn’t because you felt a rising urge when looking at his face and body, his silence would’ve made him your first meal after years of slumber.
Yet with his father behind him, the old man pinched the lower back of his son, causing him to break out of the daze you put him through. Stumbling on his words and fear coursing through him, Jeno finally spoke.
“Please forgive me, I didn’t intend to— I-I didn’t know you were even behind there.” He pleaded, Jeno knew this was supernatural. Not everyone suddenly breaks free from behind a mirror with a vestment that was highly inappropriate for these times and would grant her death.
You could smell the fear, surely. It was cute, endearing how pathetic he was acting. “Y/n… Queen y/n. The Great Mother.” Walking closer to him, your hand lifted. Running your fingers to caress his strong cheekbones and jaw, Jeno shuddered at the feeling of a woman touching him.
“Whom would you be, darling?” You questioned, your left hand mimicking the movements on his face to his neck, nails softly scratching to find his pulse. “Jeno… I don’t have titles, your highness.” At the title he called you, your teeth took your lower lip, hunger and desire being the first to awaken after these centuries.
You chuckled at his nervous words, the cracking of his voice more evident when your finger ran across his lower lip, causing his breath to hitch in the back of his throat. He was so new to this feeling. To the feeling of arousal and despite his last experience of adultery after catching his father with Sister Merida was when a merchant’s daughter (friend of his father) had enticed him to kiss her and touched him, it did not amount to what he is feeling now with only your gracing touch.
“May I grant you a gift? My gratitude for awakening me.” Your voice softened and lowered, eyes hooded as you stared at him making sure he looked directly into your own eyes as you held his jaw and neck.
In a breath he let it out, leaning in you connected your lips onto his. In the instance in which you kissed him, Jeno felt the poisoning of your perpetual sin. He wasn’t married to you and here he was, his lips moulding against yours quite perfectly. Opening his mouth when you opened yours— Jeno felt happy that he was sinning for once.
Your tongues enveloped each other and as you were to finish the kiss, your teeth sunk into his lower lip, making him groan in pain, letting you lick off the blood you had drawn. He stood in pain, holding his lip with his own teeth, letting some of the blood drip to his fingers which you took with your own, savoring his sweet taste.
“You filthy wrench, tainting my son and now a sinner you’ve become again.” The hateful words coming from his father broke the both of you out of the trance you’d created. Full of new rising anger, you turned to the old man who looked at you with obvious lust and jealousy of your choosing. Jeno was feeling no different, clear anger rested on his gaze, one that had never occurred to him in the past, not even when his mother beat him into submission years ago.
“Whom might you be?” It wasn’t the softness you received Jeno with but still enticing enough. A smirk ran on your lips, making your fangs visible enough. Though the old man didn’t notice, Jeno did. Making his blood run cold again, fearing he’d be your next meal after you’ve finally had a taste of him.
He tried convincing himself that he was wrong, that vampires didn’t exist but upon the way you had woken, the look on your face, and the way you tried to not waste any drop of his blood— he was completely sure that you were one.
Chuckling knowing it was his turn and hoping to get a gift like his son did (much to your great disgust at his idea of familiar sharing), he spoke. “His fat—”
“An offering, My Queen.”
Both turned to look at him. Clear freight and surprise in his father’s face. Never has he interrupted him in all of his years of being alive let alone offered him like a piece of meat. That didn’t matter to you, he was here with an offering— a disgusting one but with an offering.
Was it not because you were parched and you didn’t want to waste Jeno’s sweet blood— the old man would suffice.
“Are you mental? You’re offering thy father?!” He began to argue, turning to his son and raising his fists, beginning to hit his arms and near face to which his son began to whimper. You didn’t let him go further; taking a tight grip of his arms, making him groan in pain at the crushing feeling.
As he whitered, your teeth clung to his neck, hard enough to make him squeal like a pig when the butcher deemed its time. Jeno watched in horror how his father’s blood sprayed across the room, most onto him, leaving his clothes filthy.
He watched you in horror, he didn’t know why he offered his father’s life. Jeno would never do something as sinful as that, or so he thought because here he was, watching a hungry vampire queen drain his father from his blood and feeling no pain from loss but rather fear with how it’ll be brought up on judgement day.
Jeno trembled, his father’s body had dropped dead in front of his feet as a reminder of his doings, a pool of blood surrounding the three of you. His only instinct was to look around. He focused on the portrait decorations on the walls, all looked recent. The walls themselves are decorated with new wallpaper, the pastel colors bright despite the sun beginning to set already.
The furniture was painted in red, reminding him of what he just did. As he analyzed everything severely, he wasn’t so sure that this was an abandoned home anymore and rather his father had broken into it. He should’ve figured when everything was spotlessly clean and the only broken thing was the door from where his father had broken in.
Upon hearing your gagging, Jeno broke out of his fearsome daze. Getting the courage to look at his father again before running to you, helping you up. “Next time— don’t punish me with a rotten corpse, I only appreciate it for I am hungry.” Your last words, making his fear grow again.
You sensed it though, a giggle leaving your lips upon seeing his widened eyes. “I won’t feast on you as long as you’re a good boy.” Wiping away the blood from your mouth, your lips pecked the corner of his mouth. “Now close your eyes for a few seconds and hold me tight.”
Jeno felt that surge of sin again, when you took his hands into yours he felt the heat of arousal commence but it only got worse when you took those hands and placed them on your bare hips, causing him to softly gasp. He hadn’t touched a woman before, a woman had touched him but it didn’t spark this feeling. Perhaps it’s your vampiristic essence that’s making him feel insane but sure you were a woman he needed in his life.
His hands made their way from your hips to your back as he wrapped his arms around you, holding tight to your body like you told him. You yourself felt that heat he was feeling, it was so obvious how innocent he was despite his grown age but given the way his father treated him, this boy was nothing but emotionally weak.
Gracing the pads of your fingers against his eyelids, helping him shut his eyes for a few seconds. Jeno couldn’t deny that he was slightly scared that his fate would be the same as his father when you closed his eyes but upon feeling your lips on his again as a form of waking him up; Jeno relaxed into the cushioned feeling of your now less chapped lips against his.
Once he opened them, he felt a sense of awe and amazement seeing the amount of gold around him. Jeno hadn’t seen so much money at once ever before let alone this much gold so it all felt like a dream.
One moment he was getting berated by his father once again and the next thing he knew, he was in a golden palace with a hungry vampire queen that if she wanted, would surely drain him of his own blood too. It was whiplash what he felt.
His curiosity and overwhelmedness hadn’t gone ignored by you, you figured he needed time to relax about the happenings let alone the death of his own father. Caressing his face again, his arms not unraveling from you just yet, you smiled leaning in for yet another kiss that he didn’t even think twice about.
This was the most sexual attention he has gotten in years and despite them being simple, he was melting at your touch and taste. As your tongue swiped across the lip you had bitten; your hesitation made him slightly pull away to look at you. “Is everything alright?” He questioned, his hands unconsciously rubbing at your bare flesh. You simply nodded, not trusting your voice around him furthermore regarding the subject.
Your fingers running to his chest, unbuttoning the hand sewn-in buttons of his waistcoat; you spoke, “Take a bath, you’re very tense.” Pushing the waistcoat off his shoulders and down to the golden floor, you took his hand into yours, leading the way to the tub built into the floor.
Contrary to the golden decoration within, the tub was entirely marble like the altar table he saw before his first taste of unowned sin. The floor was decorated with fresh rose petals as was the water. Dipping his hand in, he could feel warmth, something that was rare to attain when bathing at home as they’d have to make the water last, only getting a bucket each for their cleansing.
By the moment he was to thank you, your person was gone making him shudder at the realization. Of course it didn’t bother him much, he would be more bothered if he had to strip fully in front of you, so once he knew you weren’t around, Jeno pulled on his breeches, socks, and pulled off his frilled blood sprayed white tunic, being left in nothing but nude.
Jeno couldn’t deny he felt some sense of peace. His overbearing, filthy sinner of a father was dead and gone. He felt like a weight had just been lifted off of his shoulders and the sins of his father were not his anymore except only his and his mother’s.
Just as he slid into the tub, the warm water coating his body and rose petals sticking to his well defined body, (which thanks to his father forcing him to do every single heavy lifting task, he looked like this) Jeno began to feel the weight of his father’s death on him only for the sheer presence of his mother in his mind.
If he had never thought about his mother and how she’d force down his father’s sins on him once she found out, he would have full heartedly enjoyed his bath. It wasn’t fair that his father died knowing his sins were stuck to Jeno as he refused to take responsibility for his actions. It wasn’t fair that if his mother found out, he was to get the beating of his life and for real she would fulfill her promise of using the branding iron on him to teach him what sin feels like in hell.
He knew she would do anything for his father, even if it meant taking away his sins and giving them to their eldest child for him to suffer just for the filthy, cheating, poor excuse of a man wouldn't leave her with three useless children.
In frustration and anger, Jeno closed his eyes. Submerging his body furthermore in the tub to the point where his head disappeared from the surface and he could think about either drowning himself and carrying the sins of his parents to judgment day or— well there’s no or, all he knew was that he did not want to deal with the pain and guilt his parents have put him through anymore. Even so he didn’t have it in him to not live, he wanted to know what life felt outside of his parental grasp.
Rising from the water, Jeno ran his hands down his face. Pushing away as much water from it as he could so he could open his eyes. Still no sign of you, water dripping from his hair to his face, Jeno looked all around hoping to find you.
With no luck, he sighs heavily before going back to relax his body against the cold marble tub, his eyes falling heavy as he tries to fight off the guilt that has been engraved and carved into his brain his entire life.
He was like a fawn, delicate but quick to learn about his position in the world. Perhaps that’s what made him so endearing to you. He was naive and easy to handle, he didn’t put up a fight and his spurts of fear never lasted.
Perhaps it’s your hunger and desire speaking, but hidden behind the sheer curtains surrounding the tub area; you admired his body and how it flexed. He might be weakly minded but physically— there was nothing weak about him.
After tending the abandoned palace in which you once resided, the smell of blood coursed through your nostrils making you rush back to the room where he enjoyed his bath. Jeno had begun nibbling on his lip after he rose from the water, his frustration making him break the skin once again, forcing the blood to softly ooze out of it.
Jeno’s scent was nothing but strong, whether it’s the scent of a virgin or his strong pheromones, but Jeno was intoxicating and surely that was a big reason why he still remained alive (along how charming and adorable he was in your eyes).
You watched his every move. The way he leaned back and sighed heavily whilst his eyelids remained close. How his arms slung back on the rim of the tub, his body swaying softly so he could feel the rippling of water against his body.
This was a huge luxury for him and he wanted to enjoy every little detail of it. As the rose petals swayed along with the water he kept moving, it all became clear as well. The copious amount of petals moving further away and refusing to stick, allowing for his entire body to showcase itself like a collectible behind glass.
He smiled as he moved his hips softly, no ill intent behind it. Yet in your eyes he was tempting your thirst more than ever. The way his toned chest and abs clenched from time to time. The way his flesh stretched against his ribcage when he twisted his hips, or the way his cock was out in full display.
Tip red even when not aroused, he was flacid but girthy and slightly above average so perhaps once hard, it would all change. The idea of him becoming hard made you feel parched and not simply for blood but for a well deserved orgasm.
In hopes that he won’t get scared away, you moved as quietly as you could, finding yourself opposite from him in the vast tub that could honestly be considered near a pool. Jeno didn’t sense anything, he was in his own little world fighting himself between thinking of his guilty sin or enjoying what that sin was granting him.
Slithering towards him like a prying nerodia ready to attack, you submerged underwater inches away from his person. Opening your eyes underwater to experience all of his glory, you felt heat in your chest rise seeing how close his dick was to your face, wanting nothing more than to touch it.
Your hand had a mind of its own, making its way up to his torso only hovering above it before your fingers began to slide up from it to his chest as softly and slowly as you could.
That took Jeno out of his trance, surprised but relaxed the moment he saw it was your hand the one touching him. It seemed as your heat radiated to your hand, making him feel it on the lingering touch of your slithering hand.
Feeling your body closer underwater, his eyes began to flutter shut, his head lolling back against the rim of the tub once again. Slowly your head began to creep to the outside, wiping away any signs of water from your face with your left hand as you kept touching him.
Upon your hand making it’s way up to the nape of his neck and holding his head firmly, Jeno opened his eyes, adoring the way you gazed at him with want and need. He loved it, he loved when he knew he was needed and wanted.
Hovering slightly over him, you smirked seeing the sparkle in his eye as you continued to hold him. “Can I savor you again?” You questioned, face coming closer and closer to his, responding with a whimper and a nod, his eyes closing in anticipation.
Your tongue ran across his lower lip, blood beginning to slow its oozing again. Jeno shuddered at the action, lowering his right hand to where his fingers dipped in the water. You loved the taste of Jeno, he was fresh meat and something new to you, it was almost perfect that the universe allowed you to be awoken by someone as glorious as him.
The hand that held his neck, slitertherd down to his bicep, holding it whilst your left hand made its way to his jaw, grasping it firmly but not enough to make it ache. He leaned in closer to your lips, taking initiative that surely caused interest in you to see how desperate he was. Your lips connected, soft at first but as time progressed, they moved in unison, him mimicking your actions from earlier, and sticking his tongue out to savor your lips.
They weren’t chapped anymore, almost as if his saliva on you made them youthful. Jeno smirked into the kiss when you softly nibbled on his lower lip, the sensation causing great pleasure knowing you were becoming desperate for him and his blood.
Jeno’s hand hesitantly started to move, fighting the urge to touch you. You felt the water rippling in between the both of you, inching closer to him, you took his hand into the one that used to hold his jaw, quickly relocating it to your hip, allowing him to do as he pleased.
He groaned at the proximity of your bodies, the tip of his cock starting to rub against your stomach while his hand massaged the flesh of your hip bone.
Your mouth trailed it’s way down from his lips to his jaw, leaving open mouthed kisses that made him groan in anticipation as you went. His whimpering was so cute, they were addicting and reassuring that you were pleasing him.
Unintentionally as your tongue lapped on his neck, lips surrounding areas of it and nipping softly, his hand inched closer to your ass, softly gripping it and pulling you closer to his body. You felt his growing erection, he was getting harder against your stomach the closer you got to him.
He smelt wonderful, his natural scent seeping through his neck and the smell of his blood as you neared a vein was making you go insane. Your leg underwater came closer to him, your calf rubbing against the side of his thigh.
Jeno felt you close, too close— at the worst time, memories of his mother’s and father’s beatings got the best of him, a gasp leaving his body as he removed his hands from you, guilt consuming him as you held him.
You looked at him in confusion, pulling away from him as you noticed his uncomfortableness. “Are you okay?” You questioned, eyebrows furrowed in worry as he swallowed the lump in his throat just for it to come back again.
He looked down, seeing how the rose petals weren’t there to cover him. He felt guilty, he felt the guilt of being hard in front of you, he felt guilty that you two weren’t together and he was defyling you. “It’s just— It’s just sinful…” He raised his head, looking at the way you’d react but upon gaining nothing, he sighed, continuing.
“Father is dead now, his sins have clung to me and if paying for my sins in death is the same way as I pay for them now— I don’t want to sin more but I just look and touch you and I feel a sense of release.”
His confession piqued interest in you. He was surely mentally strained from all he’s lived his entire life but maybe if you showed him what sin felt like, he’d learn to know that sin was inherently human just like desire and it would never go away.
Sighing as you came closer to him, cradling his face into your hand, thumb caressing his cheek bone; “Thy parents are not teaching you about sin, they’re the ones committing it and taking it out on you.” Jeno’s tense feeling was easing at your words.
The more you looked at his face, the more you noticed small details. He had a tiny mole under his eye, it wasn’t visible unless you actively looked for it. “One cannot simply transfer sin to someone else, that’s not how it works. Only humans implement sin for fear, power is all you want and with power the more control you have. Is that not how your familiar relationship works?” You questioned, making him nod as his lips became agape.
“Would you let me show you how good sin actually feels?” With a smirk slapping itself on your face, body as close as before. You held him in anticipation of how he’d answer but as he whispered a soft ‘Yes…”, with his consent your thigh graced his aching cock, you lean in to kiss him softly.
Telling him to sit on the ledge of the tub, Jeno looked at you in confusion before he watched you come closer to him. Your hands on his knees, softly parting them so you could settle in between them. He felt himself shaking at the image before him, wishing he had parchment and charcoal to capture this moment forever.
“You’re too tense, perhaps embracing sin will help you relax.” Teasing him with your words, you finally settled in between his legs. Your hands clinging to the underside of his thighs, trailing kisses up from his knee to inner thighs, licking them softly the closer you get to his angry cock.
Jeno groaned, feeling your warm breath fan over his cock, making it twitch at just the sensation. He leaned back slightly, hoping it would help you in some way. He didn’t really know what you were going to do but he enjoyed the image of you in between his legs, his cock out in display for a beautiful woman to play with.
Glancing at him before you began, you took his shaft onto your left hand. Holding it firmly before you rose a little, accumulating spit in your mouth before letting it drip from your tongue to his red angry tip. Jeno groaned at the warm feeling, shuddering when you started to rub it around, up and down.
It was barely starting but little contact was making him feel insane. From what he recalls whenever the merchant’s daughter touched him, it didn’t feel this good. He remembers uncomfortably laying against a tree trunk as she rubbed him over his breeches too harshly at some point after he couldn’t get hard.
He also recalls their kisses to be wet, teeth-clashing, and sloppy. It was nothing like the way you kissed him. If they were to get wet and sloppy, it never felt gross. You knew well how to clean it up with just another kiss.
And as you touched him, he immediately felt that need in the pit of his stomach, aching to be let out quickly. When you felt that he was somewhat well lubricated, you leaned in closer to his groin, making him shudder with a moan at how close your mouth was to his aching cock.
“You’re enjoying yourself already, huh?” Giggling, you began littering his cock with pecks. Your now soft lips coming in contact, leaving the lingering feeling on him, making this even more achingly painful.
As he tried to control his noises, your kisses on his cock were becoming longer, licking small stripes on his shaft from time to time, always catching him off guard when you did.
Jeno didn’t want to close his eyes, he wanted to experience every little thing you did to him even if his eyelids fought him hard enough to close in pleasure.
All he could think about was how good this was feeling. In fear of the consequences of adultery, Jeno never dared to touch himself. He had always heard of unmarried men and women who’d succumb to the temptation of the body through masturbation and ended up having their hands chopped or burnt by either their family, the townspeople, or the clergy.
He lived in fear of that, of public harm and for them to know he was that kind of sinner leaving his parents to be the laughter of the town. Even if he did have his urges whenever he did find or think about something that aroused him— Jeno would not become complacent to the ill thoughts of his brain and rather listen to his parents and the word of God.
Upon your lips wrapping themselves perfectly around his tip, Jeno moaned loudly, finally shutting his eyes and throwing his head back at the suctioning feeling.
He felt glorious, he finally knew the pleasures of adultery and he was enjoying them so far. Raising his head again, he looked at you intently, how his cock was beginning to disappear in between your lips, making him moan even more.
You swirl your tongue around his tip, later to take him all in once again. Jeno always shuddered when you took him all in. He knew he was girthy and when erect, it was long so watching you take him in at ease made him feel a harsh beat within his chest.
He watched you intently at this point. How you bobbed your head at a steady pace, the pad of your fingers rubbing against his testicles, and how you hollowed out your cheeks whenever you were to go back to the tip of his cock, milking out the precum he was already getting out.
It was mere moments before he actually came. Jeno had no experience with this and he was feeling too good, he didn’t know how to control himself when cumming.
You could hear his exasperated groans and cries. He sounded so pretty and nothing like what you’ve heard before. You truly wanted to keep him forever.
As your right hand took his balls onto it, the palm massaging his left one while your fingers worked on his right; Jeno felt himself tense up. With his cock buried in your mouth, hitting the back of your throat, nose touching his pubic bone, Jeno couldn’t handle much anymore.
“I can—can’t, please!...” He whined, throwing his head back, running his hands all over his face and hair. You couldn’t help but chuckle at how hot he sounded, it was intoxicating just like the taste of him coating the entirety of your mouth.
Jeno grumbled when he felt the vibration of your sound against his sensitive cock. It didn’t help that your tongue was twisting around him, savoring him even more and creating more stimulation for him. “Y/n please…” He cried out, teary eyes looking at you. Listening to him, you slowly pulled away, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his aching tip.
The image was so lewd, it was immoral but he couldn’t help but twitch at how perfect you looked like that. Even when you collected it all to rub against him, your hand jerking him off slowly whilst your eyes laid on his.
“I want you to cum in my mouth, I want to savor how you taste… I want it all.” Jeno whimpered, head lowering slightly to look at you closely. “Can I?” You questioned, your lips ghosting over his, received with a chaste kiss as he nodded, pulling back to give you more space in between his legs again.
You didn’t waste any time, his tip was so swollen and he seemed in pain to just release. You took him all in, making sure you felt him in the back of your throat, his pubes brushing against your nose, the more you tried to take him.
He shuddered, his hand coming in contact with your hair, threading it around his digits. Jeno’s chest was red, panting, and sweaty. He couldn’t hold off anymore and the moans stuck in his throat were aching to be let out.
Pulling away to only bob your head, hollowing your cheeks to have the pressure make him give in more, you held onto his thighs. Nails raking against them, inching him closer to his release. When he felt the pressure of your nails against him, he bucked his hips upwards, not being able to contain himself.
“Is that fine?” He questioned regarding his thrust, through a chuckle and a nod, you answered him. “I’m so close, can I just do that now?” He added to which you agreed again wanting him to finally feel pleased and for you to taste him.
Jeno moaned at the look in your eyes, taking a tight hold of your head before he began to buck his hips upward. You had stood up more on the tub to help him make it easier just like he had lifted himself up from the rim in order to not hurt you.
His thrusts were hard, soft aches in the back of your throat but anything to make him feel good. He may be inexperienced but he was doing a good job right now, fucking your tight throat, all for him after these centuries of not being used.
“Oh God…” He groaned, feeling thin spurts of cum leaking from him. His grip on your hair became tighter, holding it as he fucked into your mouth, spit and drool all over your chin with every thrust as he pulled.
He was amazed that you didn’t make a sound aside the squelching from your mouth and saliva but besides that you helped him reach his orgasm, playing with his testicles and allowed him to handle you like a rag doll.
They slowly became messy and slow, within his final thrusts the moans he was threatening to release were leaving one by one and with the help of your tongue lapping against the slit of his tip, Jeno let a loud elongated one as he finally felt himself go, filling your throat and mouth with his load.
Some escaped from the corners of your mouth as he held your head in place, his body shuddering trying to calm himself down. Was it not for your gentle taps on his thighs; he pulled away apologizing as he watched your every move.
The way you pushed in the leaking cum into your mouth and swallowed it all, making blood rush back into his cock, rubbing his hands against his face to control himself.
Chuckling at his actions, you took a hold of his forearm. He turned to look down on you, your sultry eyes making him focus on you only, body floating on the warm water not even using it to clean off the dry drool and cum anymore.
“Do you want to taste actual sin?” Pulling him into the tub once again, Jeno’s gaze never left yours. Determination and confidence in them as he pulled you to settle in between his legs. “Yes.” He was so sure of it, his voice deep and husky.
You smirked upon his answer, leaning in to take his lips into yours. His tongue poking out and running across your lower lip, having you part them so it’d roam around the cavern of your mouth. His hands resting on your ass, giving it a squeeze as he propped his leg, making you sit on his thigh while you two kept making out.
You began to move your hips against his thigh, the water making it both easier and harder as the friction wasn’t doing much for you. Nevertheless as you pulled away, your lips kissed along his neck like earlier, forming small bites in a way to taunt him.
He didn’t react to it, he enjoyed them more than you thought. Along that he helped you get more contact with his thigh, holding your hips to help you rock against it. With his help you were finally feeling that pleasure you were aching for.
Your lips leaving open mouthed kisses on his flesh, traveling further to his chest, and to his right nipple. Biting softly at the nub, making him jolt forward slightly.
The action became pleasurable to you as the friction from his thigh against your aching cunt was sudden, the rough jolt making you moan against his chest, tongue lapping at his perked bud. “Are you sure?...” You pant, trailing one of his hands in between your legs to make him feel how wet you were because of him.
You groaned at the feeling of his fingers gracing your lips, shuddering at the feeling you crave. “Are you sure you want to taste actual sin?” You questioned again, your fangs peaking through not being able to hold off much.
They softly raked through his flesh, the sharp feeling making him gasp at what you meant. He still didn’t look at you, he allowed his touch and hearing senses to dictate it all but if his blood meant your pleasure— then that will do. He would rather have a pleasurable ending than the hell his father went through.
“I’m completely and utterly sure.”
His dark tone along his tight grip on your waist whilst the hand that touched you began to rub soft circles on your clit; you moaned against his chest. Mouth opening slightly wider, looking at him for signs of fear but with none, you close your eyes, fangs sinking into the taut flesh of his chest.
Jeno gasped again at the sudden prickle from your entering fangs but upon feeling more pleasure than pain, he relaxed. Feeling himself get aroused once again, the suctioning of your lips against his skin making a tingling feeling course through his body. Goosebumps formed whilst he moaned softly, continuing his gentle rubbing against your clit and his cock getting hard again.
For once in his life he felt control and power over himself. His head wasn’t pounding with guilt and he felt light in his body.
Jeno felt reborn.
Reborn with no sense of guilt, no sense of immorality, and no sin. The venom of your fangs cleansing him from all inherited evil, resurrecting into this new creature he has now become.
Upon your mouth leaving his flesh, Jeno took your head into his hands. Fingers threading through your hair, holding tight to you. His eyes were dark, a red tint washing over his pupils and his gums aching at the creation of prominent fangs.
He has been reborn.
Pulling your face closer to him, Jeno stuck out his tongue. Lapping it over your blood covered lips, savoring himself on you. He moaned against your lips, feverishly kissing you like no tomorrow, fingers tightly holding to your hair in fear of letting you go. Just like that he was in debt to you and didn’t plan on leaving your side— ever.
“May I taste the fruit of eden?”
His husky tone makes you bite your lower lip as the both of you part. WIth a simple nod, he smirks. Taking your hips into his rugged hands, pulling you up to the ledge of the tub just like he was earlier. His hands prying your legs open, settling in between them.
His face delved in between your thighs, teeth nipping the inside of them, his tongue lapping softly as his fingers worked to untie the golden band that held the cloth soggily rested on your hips. With success after his fingers untied it rapidly, he pushed off the fabric, allowing your legs to feel a weight off of you and enough possibility to see him clearly between your legs.
Jeno didn’t hesitate furthermore, his tongue fully coming in contact with your wet cunt, tongue peaking out to slide up your aching lips, tip coming in contact with your clit, allowing a moan to escape your lips.
He found it so pretty, even when you moaned against him it was all muffled so he couldn’t hear how glorious they actually were. Softly pulling away to see your expression, Jeno’s eye never left your face, the way it contorted as his lips rubbed against the nub, sucking softly then harshly to go back to his soft pattern.
Jeno felt your juices cling to his chin. How when he stopped sucking on your clit, his tongue slid in between your lower lips. Over and over so he could collect your slick arousal and swallow it like he was supposed to.
He hummed against your aching core, your fingers clutching to his hair. “If I knew it tasted this good, I would’ve succumbed so long ago.” He spoke against you, his fingers teasing your entrance. You moaned again, this time making him look up at you with the tug of his hair.
“I don’t want to think of you with someone else…” You pouted, a smirk forming on his lips whilst he chuckled, plunging his tongue in and out of you. Biting your lip at the feeling, you felt the knot in your stomach begin to ease. “Don’t worry. I want nobody else but you.”
As his words settled, Jeno went back to focusing on you. HIs lips wrapping around your clit from time to time trying to edge you on faster. His tongue lapping at the juices that he didn’t allow to fall past your entrance, savoring every drop.
Jeno moaned around your clit, the vibration making your insides tingle at how close you were to an orgasm. He could tell by how you shook underneath him. His hands grasping tightly onto your thighs, tongue and lips going at it onto your lips and entrance, his nose beginning to rub at your clit.
The sudden friction of his nose against your clit was making you spiral furthermore. His tongue moved in and out of your entrance, rimming it from time to time, and taking it’s time to lick away the arousal you let out. The movement of his jaw was making you go insane, feeling the wetness on it whenever his face came close to you.
He kept going, your moans becoming louder the more pressure the tip of his nose put on your clit. Friction from the rubbing made your head spin and it didn’t help that his tongue was causing so much pleasure in you.
Jeno knew you were going to cum already. With the tight grip on his hair, the way his nose rubbed against you, your increasingly loud moans, and your twisting and turning, he moaned against your cunt. Tongue pistoning inside you, replacing his nose with his fingers.
Faster circles being rubbed against your sensitive bud, making you mewl out in great pleasure. “Come on, I want to taste you whole too. Please…” He pleaded, his hot breath against your lips making you shudder. Biting your lower lip and nodding in response, Jeno continued to eat you out, leaving open mouth kisses to your labia whilst his fingers stimulate your clit.
Your legs twitched as he kept going, Clawing at your collarbones as you felt the knot in your stomach untie and the rush of an orgasm ran through your entire body. Moaning loudly, holding to his hair as you came against his face, Jeno moaned, licking every last drop.
Spasming under his tongue as he kept going, just to make sure he didn’t miss anything; you pant, chest heaving whilst trying to relax. His touch, hot against your cold skin.
Satisfied in knowing he’d made you cum and left no drop behind, Jeno got out of the water, sitting beside you to pull you into his embrace in order to help you calm down.
“You’re right, it felt so good.” He kissed along your temple, turning your head to connect his lips against your, the taste of you still lingering in his mouth.
Your lips never left each other’s, Jeno only clung onto your body. The more you two kept kissing, Jeno pulled you down with him, his body hitting the cold tile of the floor, groaning slightly at the sting.
His hands never left your hips, even when you went to straddle him, his hard dick coming in contact with your warm cunt. At the contact, he moaned against your mouth, your tongue running against his upper lip.
“You’ve been so good to me, Jeno…” You moaned against his mouth, hips softly rocking, friction from your cunt to his cock. His hips fighting to not jerk upwards. “I’m aching and throbbing for you.” You bit his lower lip, taking it into your own teeth and pulling softly to look at his fucked out expression. “Do you want to savor the essence of your Queen?”
His hooded eyes looked at you, how your upper body rose; hands going behind your back to unclasp the hooks that held up the golden braiser, falling to the ground with a clank the mere moment you dropped it. Jeno’s cock twitched at the image before him, feeling himself swell at the idea of being in you.
“Anything you give me, I’ll take with gratitude.” He honestly responded, sitting up with you still on him. A smirk of satisfaction laid on your lips; hands reaching to the pins in your hair and taking them out, allowing your hair to cascade down your shoulders and back for him to enjoy.
You threw all of the pins to the floor just like the piece you wore except for a pretty long thin one with multiple flowers around the top. It wasn’t until he looked at it closely that he saw the sharpness of it. He watched your every move as you held it, enticing him with your movements until it came in contact with your skin.
A gasp of concern leaving his lips when you put pressure against your skin, slowly sliding it against the top of your right breast. Jeno looked at the maroon beads, how they oozed out faster than when you bit his lower lip.
Generally he would be highly concerned but the smell of you was intoxicating him and he couldn’t think of anything more than to taste you, to take your blood into his mouth and know what heaven felt besides the taste between your legs.
His hyponotized gaze didn’t go ignored. Taking one of the rolling beads onto your index finger, your hand reached out to his lips. His tongue coming out to wrap around your finger and suck off the liquid, moaning against it to let you know he was enjoying this very well.
“Feast all you want.”
With your words, Jeno let out a disgruntled moan, lips latching onto the opening. Suckling with so much fervor that you felt arousal flow out of you and onto where you two were connected.
Your hips began to rock against him again, the slickness between you making it easier. Soft moans leaving your lips just like they left him with the feeling you were giving him and the taste of your blood.
“I can’t— I need to be inside of you right now.” He groaned, helping you off of his lap and pulling you up once he was standing. Jeno’s steps were rushed, his hand wrapping around your wrist to pull you towards the upholstered padded white bench hidden behind the sheer curtains.
Gently helping you climb on as he did after you, settling behind you. Your back in contact with his chest as he held you, his hands roaming every curve of your damp body. Both propped up on your knees, Jeno softly rocking his hips to create friction between your ass and his hardened cock.
His breath fanning against your ear, left hand stopping at your right shoulder whilst his right hand toyed with your wet cunt. Fingertips teasing your entrance as his palm rubbed against your clit.
Holding you tight, forearm near enough to your neck. “I need you badly but how bad do you need me?” His voice was deeper than moments before, tongue gracing the outer shell of your ear and nipping at it.
Jeno had changed in a matter of minutes, his shy and guilty persona was gone and now all that remained was the confidence and power he always craved. With the way he was acting and with his fingers slowly entering and curling inside of you— you needed him more than anything.
“I need you so bad… If I don’t have you in me, I’ll end up coming on your fingers.” You confessed, pushing your ass backwards to press harder against his cock and his fingers to move deeper within you, feeling your juices accumulate all over his palm.
He pouted, kissing your neck, “But I want you to cum around my cock.” He whined, fingers pulling out of you, receiving a cry from you. His words were so lewd, never would he ever think about letting them leave his mouth let alone think of them but now that was his vocabulary.
Jeno lifted up his fingers up to his mouth, using the hand that held your shoulder to hold your face now and turn it so you'd look at him. His tongue licking up your juices, stuffing his fingers inside his mouth and sucking off your essence.
Your chest heaved in need, the image before you making your innards twist in agonizing need and want. Jeno pulled out his fingers just for his lips to fall upon yours, kissing you feverishly as his wet fingers and hand traveled downward, taking his hard shaft and running the tip of his cock against your slick entrance.
“Jeno, please just get inside of me.” You mewled, pushing back against him. Chuckling at your request, He used his left hand to push you forward. Back arched and ass sticking up for him, your hands gripping the arm rest before you as he continued to tease your entrance, tip of his cock accumulating your arousal.
“You’re asking so kindly, my Queen… Anything for you.” With his final words, Jeno sunk into you. His girth making you moan and whine at the sting as he stretches you out. “Ah, fuck!” You let out, Jeno hissing at how tight you felt around him, sucking him further in.
He felt great pleasure when he was deep in your throat but it didn’t compare to him going balls deep inside your wet cunt, the warmth feeling better as he began to rut his hips against your ass.
“You can move faster, love. It won’t hurt me.” Turning your head to look at him, Jeno groaned at the haziness in your eyes.
His grip on your hips became tighter as his pace increased. The sound of his skin slapping against your ass, the tightness of your cunt around him, juices flowing every time he pulled back— Jeno truly did love sin.
Moaning with every thrust the harder he went and the deeper he got; “You were made for me, Jeno… Feel how perfectly you fit inside me.” You mewl, beginning to rock yourself against him.
“You’re so right, we were made for each other.” Pulling you harshly by the arms, you gasp at the sudden movement, holding onto his thighs for balance. “I don’t want to ever be away from you now.” His confession only made you chuckle, bringing his arms to wrap around your waist as you held him.
Fucking yourself agianst his cock, “You’ll never leave my side, I’ll make sure of that.” Bringing one of his hands up to your lips, you kissed his knuckles, his hips jotting rapidly against you. All that left your lips were loud moans against his flesh whilst he panted against your shoulder.
His free hand pushes your hips to him with every thrust, making you feel him go deeper and deeper. You felt dizzy every time the thrusts were increasing, he felt swollen compared to earlier, and your walls were contracting against him.
“You sound so pretty, keep them going, please.” Jeno begged, kissing your neck and shoulders as he tried to muffle his own moans. You began to fuck yourself against him, both of your movements making Jeno go insane by how you helped him.
Centuries of not being touched and Jeno a lifetime— the two of you weren’t going to hold up much longer, even if you’d both had an orgasm not long ago.
Whilst he kissed upon your sweating skin and cock pounded within you, reaching levels no one has before, you bit his knuckles softly, your body beginning to shake at how close you were getting. Squelching sound of his cock going in and out of your wet cunt, driving you insane as you felt him at your hilt, bulging against your stomach.
Moving his hand from your hip, Jeno touched the bulge he created, groaning every time he felt his hand move forward. “You’re taking all of me so well, I’m so glad you’re the one I’m doing this with.” Leaving open mouthed kisses on your spine, Jeno kept his thrusts going.
It seemed you were much more needy than him, as you felt yourself tremble upon another orgasm coming to you at the image of his cock pulsating within you. Your legs were giving out on you and your hands shook, barely being able to hold his hand anymore.
“I can’t take it… Jeno, please! Please, I’m going to cum!” You cried out, dropping his hand to hold onto the arm rest. His bitten fingers and knuckles traveled in between your legs, collecting the fluids you were creating and rubbing them against your clit.
Motions soft and slow before he began to add pressure and speed up his circling. “Do it. Cum around me so I can cum in you already.” Your legs shaking more than before, your moans came out as whines and cries, the slapping sound of his hips against your ass becoming echos within the golden walls.
You were close, very close. With only a few more of his rough thrusts, feeling his tip hit your g-spot perfectly and his fingers stimulating your clit all so very well, the coil within your stomach had unraveled. Legs spasming as you came all around his cock, holding tightly to the benches’ arm for support whilst he kept pounding into you, trying to chase his own release.
It didn’t take him much longer as all he needed was to feel the warmth of your orgasm wash against his cock. Thrusts become sloppy and rougher the faster he goes, your moans egging him on to cum already. Watching your tired body holding up just for his release; Jeno groaned loudly, his moans falling out of his lips one after another.
The string of spurts leaving him little by little with every thrust. Just as he felt himself closer to his release, you began fucking yourself against him order to help. With both of your thrusts, Jeno didn’t hold back anymore.
Throwing his head back with loud moans and cries as he released his load within you; you joined him, moaning at how good it felt to be filled to the brim again.
He fucked you throughout it, his sloppy thrusts igniting another quick orgasm to wash over you. Just as you felt yourself become over stimulated and he felt his cock soften, Jeno softly pulled out of you, making sure none of his cum slipped out.
If it did, you collected the dribbles onto your finger, making sure he watched you take them inside your mouth and swallow it all.
He loved it. He loved how you didn’t let anything he gave go to waste. Flipping you to your back as he caged you above, lips connecting. Kissing you with all his pent up passion, lowering his body softly but not enough to suffocate you.
Your arms wrapping around his broad shoulders, caressing his sweaty flesh trying to feel the comfort he gave you.
When you both felt the need for air, Jeno pulled away first. Peppering your face with kisses, listening to your soft sighs of tranquility. “I’m never going to stop telling you how glad I am that I did this with you first.” He softly spoke against your chest.
Laying his head in between your breasts, crading it and playing with his damp hair. “I’m also glad you’re the one to have woken me up and be with after centuries.” Kissing the top of his head, Jeno twisted his body to look up at you.
“My Queen, the one to open my eyes about the pleasures of life.” He kissed your chest softly, “The one to let me be reborn again as what I truly am… May I get a taste of you again?” He questioned in between kisses, lifting his body more to have his lips come in contact with yours.
Moaning against them, Jeno’s lips moved to your neck. Soft kisses before they became rougher, the smell of your blood enticing him. Licking short stripes until he found a spot in which you moaned when you felt his lips surround it.
With a final chuckle of satisfaction, Jeno’s lips fell agape, fangs coming out as they penetrated your flesh. A moan of pleasure and pain leaving your lips with his every suckle. It was arousing to say the least. You felt the pangs of your cunt come back and felt the need of wanting him back inside you.
He was getting hard again, his cock rubbing against your thigh as he kept drinking. Jeno only pulled away when he felt your hand wrap around him, jerking him slowly. “More, your highness?” He asked with a cheeky smirk on his blood stained lips.
Lifting your head to lick the blood off his lips you nod in need.
“If you’d grant me that gift, my King.”
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1: Georgian slang for crazy/stupid
2: In the name of the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit [latin trans.]
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jenosdaemi · a month ago
bad reputation | lee jeno
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Pairing: JENO x female reader, Haechan x female reader Wordcount: 17.1k Genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, dark theme Warnings: teen pregnancy, young mother, single mother, mentions and an attempt of su1cid3, death, bullying, spreading rumours, swearing, hospital, sexual harassment, reader punching someone.
Summary: People have judged you for being a single mother at eighteen. They thought of malicious things about your job for having to work from dusk to dawn. All of them are quick to jump to wrong conclusions and as quick to turn a blind eye when you needed help. All except for Jeno.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. It is not intended to offend or insult anyone. Not proofread.
Taglist: @queenrachelpink @wanlore @luvlyjaemin @busy-namjooning @chitaphrrrr @bebsky @sptegami @crvshcultur3 @renjuanaea @jenjnm @sunshinedhyuck @ne0yong @multihoe1 @jenyongcas @kuncitizen @flower-lise @chenlewifey @jj-ms @harrythefarmer @chichhihaa @nurenciye I sincerely hope I didn’t miss anyone 🥲
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She got a bad reputation She takes the long way home And all of my friends seen her naked Or so the story goes
“Why won't you just leave him alone?!”
Jeno looked up to see a small girl in bright blue overalls and yellow pigtails standing in front of him, protecting him from the kids who bully him nonstop all day, every day.
“What are you going to do? Tell his nanny? His nanny won't care like how his mom doesn't care about him!” the bully laughed mockingly. Jeno was about to say it's not true, but you rebutted almost instantly.
“No, but I'm going to kick you so hard where the sun doesn't shine you’ll forget your mama’s name.”
Jeno snapped his head towards you, worry plastered on his face. This kind of talk will undoubtedly bring you to the principal’s office if someone hears you and it's not worth it. Fortunately, your threats were enough to scare his bullies away. “Why would you do that?” Jeno is clearly pissed at you.
After what you did for him, the first thing you expected him to say is to thank you, but it seems like this kid in front of you is too proud to say it. You frowned at him, “You're ungrateful.” You disappointingly said and walked away.
Jeno felt bad and lost the courage to approach you after you called him ungrateful. 7-year-old Jeno spent all day how to make it up to you and he resorted to writing you a letter and leaving you a bag of cookies in your book nook when no one else was looking.
You found his peace offering just a little later and struggled to read through his incredibly bad penmanship and a series of misspellings, but any 6-year-old would appreciate his gesture. You offered to share with him the cookies and made yourself acquainted with the older boy.
“My name’s y/n.”
“I'm Jeno.”
Jeno wished he stayed in contact with you, but maybe it's part of growing up that some people will just lose connection with each other. You were never really friends with Jeno the way you were with your other friends, but you find it peaceful whenever you talk to him. It's almost as if you would enjoy conversing with him if he would not stiffen up, look at you and never reply. Which was too bad because you’re comfortable with him and you enjoyed his company that one time he actually said something other than agreeing with whatever you just said.
Jeno knows he’s socially awkward and he cannot really blame you for hardly talking to him because he never initiated a conversation with you ever at all. He's aware that he might have been the very reason why his relationship with you never improves. Nevertheless, he’s still thankful that despite his unintentional silent treatments, you remained friendly with him.
In return, he does his best to look after you from a safe distance. He was there when you joined band class in junior high, he remembered himself begging his parents to enroll him in guitar lessons so he can brag his skills in front of you during band practice. He was the one who left his clean sweatpants by your locker when you first had your period- he had no idea what that was. At first, he thought you didn't get to the restroom in time and it took him years to understand what just happened to you that day. He would leave treats, lunch and notes by your locker every chance he gets.
His crush on you grows over time, but he never pushed through it. He’s happy to watch you read his notes after class and stick your own note on your locker saying your thanks to the person who left the treats. You always ask him to meet you, but Jeno is still the same shy boy from kindergarten, he’d rather stay quiet and invisible than approaching you.
He couldn't find the best time and to gather enough courage to confess his feelings for you. Jeno thought he had all the time in the world and idled his confession but everything shifted in senior high for both you and him. Your lives went spiralling down.
Other girls at your age may have been having love problems, but you're different. The woman who raised you, fed you, clothed you have passed away. It was your grandmother who raised you and your older sister since the day your parents died in a car crash when you were young. You don't remember much about your parents to feel sad about their passing, but the death of your grandmother surely took a toll on you.
Your sister being 7 years older than you took the responsibility for taking care of you. She and her fiancé, Taeil, took you to their apartment without second thoughts and did their best to provide for your newfound family. From then on, it's the three of you against the world.
Jeno saw all these hardships and thought that he could do more than just leaving you comforting notes on your locker. He wanted to comfort you personally, talk to you, hold your hand when you're down, be the shoulder you cry on and to hug you. But someone else has clearly thought the same thing. The day that Jeno finally gathered enough courage to talk to you and excitedly looked everywhere for you with a bag of cookies in one hand is also the day when he found you at the football bench hugging someone else.
You're with Haechan. A boy from the same year as Jeno and the captain of the school’s soccer team is hugging you as you cry your heart out to him. He didn't think much about it, thinking it was just a friendly interaction.
But as days go by, all he could do is to watch you helplessly fall in love with the guy deemed to be perfect by social standards. What does he have against the popular jock in school? He’s just the guy who only learned to play guitar to impress a girl. He’s just the guy who couldn't even stand up to his own bullies, what more confessing his lifelong crush to you. Who is he compared to that guy? He’s just him, just Jeno.
He was broken-hearted even before he got his shot at you. It was wrong for him to assume that he could take his time and now he is regretting it. If he only decided to confess a week before or at least an hour earlier maybe things would turn out differently. Maybe he’s not watching you laugh because your boyfriend whispered something funny to you. Maybe he has the appetite to eat the chicken his friend, Jaemin, bought him for lunch. Maybe he’s not this miserable to see you happy with someone else.
It was hard for him, but he did what he does best. Love you from afar.
It took Jeno over a month to get over the fact that you're now dating the popular guy in school and eventually got used to the sight of you walking hand in hand with your boyfriend in the hallways. He found himself smiling at the sight of you having fun teasing your boyfriend for having a small hand. Maybe you dating that Haechan guy wasn't so bad after all.
You look happier now that you're with him and you finally have someone to lean on whenever life gets too harsh on you again. You seemed to be genuinely happy and Haechan looks like he cares for you deeply. Jeno wishes for your happiness and it doesn't matter if you found it in someone else, even if it means losing the chance of you liking him back. If you're happy then that's good enough for him.
Your life started to get back to normal with the help of your family and your boyfriend. You're thankful for them for helping you get back on your feet after the passing of your grandma. Haechan has been very sweet and funny, you couldn't ask for a better boyfriend than him. Soon enough, you’ve already been together for almost a year and it feels like you’ve only started dating last week.
It's Saturday and you're out at the mall with your sister and her fiancé, Taeil. Both of you were seated on the couch at Victoria’s Secret as you watched your sister walk across the room to look at the pyjamas on sale.
“What do you think Haechan would like to get as a gift?” You asked Taeil. He looked at you with a teasing smile.
“Why would you ask me? You know I suck at that. Ask your sister, she has very good eyes in buying gifts.”
“I don't want her to know I'm getting my boyfriend a gift.” You shrugged, you saw his eyes widen. You looked at your back and saw your sister standing behind you, one hand on her waist.
“You’re getting Haechan a gift?” Your sister asked you, giving you the eye.
“I am. It's almost our first anniversary and I'm thinking of getting him something.” You explained trying to make it sound like it's not that big a deal. You thought she’s going to ask you more questions, but you're surprised that she only smiled at you.
“Well, in buying gifts you should find him something meaningful. What does he like?”
You smiled as you thought of him, “You know that he plays soccer and he’s really good at it, in fact, there are colleges that are in contact with him already. He’s very well known at school and he’s one of the top students in his year. He’s really handsome and funny.”
You didn't notice that your sister and Taeil shared a meaningful look. “Okay, so he plays soccer and is popular. Anything else you know about him?” Your sister asked you. Her slightly concerned tone made you snap back from daydreaming.
“What do you mean? I already told you. Maybe I should get him something soccer-related since that's his thing, right? What do you guys think?” You smiled at them.
They decided not to meddle with your relationship but gave you a piece of advice that you wished you listened to, “I am happy for you that your relationship with Haechan is going strong, but I need you to remember to never give your all to a person you hardly know. Save some for yourself. Okay?"
Mistakes we all make them But they won't let it go, no 'Cause she's got a bad reputation But I know what they don't
The day you've been waiting for came.
It's finally your first anniversary, Haechan picked you up from your house and took you out to a carnival. He never lets you spend a single cent for the whole day even if you insisted. When the night came, he took you to a garden restaurant and spent dinner talking and laughing about everything.
You’re so much in love with him and you believe he feels the same, so when he parked his car in a secluded part of town, you prepared yourself for whatever may happen in that car. He was ever gentle and ever so sweet whispering comforting words to ease the pain you're feeling. He’s your first and you’re his. It was perfect and just like how you imagined it would be.
What happened that night brought the two of you closer. If he was already sweet before, he’s definitely sweeter now. He’s very attentive and gives you his full attention when you ask him for it. Your heart couldn't be any happier and Jeno saw that. Your glow is different, your smile is brighter. He’s jealous, but he’s very much happy for you.
This happiness only lasted for a month. When you missed your period and your frequent headaches took the best of you, you decided to tell your boyfriend what you think it might be. Both of you are smart enough to list down the possibilities of your symptoms, but none dared to speak it out.
Both of you are seated in his car in front of your house, you watch him as his hands grip the steering wheel. He knitted his brows, he was quiet for the longest time and you had to call his name to get him out of his thoughts.
“I don't want us to jump to any conclusions. Take a pregnancy test before you tell me shit like this.” You looked at him shocked, even he was taken aback at his tone and reaction. You chose to stay silent and nodded in agreement. Offended, you took your things hastily and hooked your bag on your shoulder, about to leave his car.
“Can you come with me when I do it?” You ask before you leave his car, he didn't look at you.
“I’ll be busy with practice this week.” He coldly replied.
“Fine. Then I'll take the test next week if that means I'm doing it with you.” You quickly slammed the car door and not even a second after he stepped on the gas and sped away. You watched his car lost in your sight.
That Haechan in there wasn't your Haechan. Instantly he became distant and cold, but you’re still thankful that he picked you up on Friday after school and brought you to a gasoline station as you took the test in the public bathroom.
Your heart is pounding, you were so nervous and you wished endlessly that it wasn't you think it was. 5 minutes later, you stared at the 3 sticks resting on top of the sink as they all drew a second pink line. Mouth hanging open, you broke down crying. Haechan heard the sound you made and worriedly knocked on the door. “What’s happening y/n?!”
You opened the door and quickly hugged Haechan in front of you, his instinct was to return the hug and caress your back. He whispered things to calm you down, but then he saw the positive pregnancy sticks on the sink. His mind stopped working and his body made the decision for him, he slowly removed your arms from his neck and mumbled, “I-I can’t.”
Confused, you looked up to him, “What do you mean you can’t?”
He shook his head, his eyes still remained at the sticks. “This. Y/n I can't be the father of your child- I can't be anyone's father.” His voice is shaking and fear is vividly shown in his face.
“Baby. Yes, you can. Of course, you can. We can do this together, we’ll talk this out and prepare for this.” It was your time to calm him down.
He shook his head one more time, “I said I fucking can't y/n! I'm not doing this! How can you be so sure that's even mine?! You could have easily cheated on me! I could not be the father of that child!” He said with so much venom your hand found its way to his cheek.
You slapped him so hard as tears run down your face, “You know fucking well that you're the only man I’ve ever slept with, how could you think of me that way?” You hardly finished your sentence with all the sobbing you did.
He looked you in the eyes, you saw different emotions flashed on his face. “I'm sorry.” That is all he managed to say and left you alone standing by the washroom with three positive pregnancy sticks and a life forming inside of you.
You spent the weekends in your room, avoiding your sister and Taeil. Guilt is reigning you, they took you in and fed you, and this is what you’re going to give back in return? Your sister is getting married in a few months, you know she’d postpone the wedding if she finds out that you're pregnant and Taeil doesn't deserve that.
You have so many plans in your life and getting knocked up at eighteen isn't one of them. You took your phone and confided to Twitter.
“This isn't happening to me”
“You fucked up my life”
“I fucked up my life”
Jeno follows you on Twitter and doesn't exactly know what you were talking about. It was hard for him to be only one screen away but unable to read you. He finally understood what your tweet was about when people at your school were wasting their time and energy whispering to each other, gossiping about someone else's life.
The news that you're pregnant spreads like wildfire, but what felt like a punch in the gut is it was Haechan who started it. He only told one person and the rest is history. You are now the infamous girl who cheated on the most popular guy at school and managed to get knocked up by the guy you cheated with.
What you didn't understand is why did your friends desert you, why is no one checking on you if you were okay, and why is no one asking to hear your side? Everybody believed the first thing they have heard and decided to stick with it. They already closed their minds for any explanations because in their eyes you're already a cheater and a whore. The saddest thing is the people who hate you are the same people you have showed kindness to. The people who keep spreading rumours about you are the same people you once called friends.
You were worried, paranoid, anxious, problematic and alone. You couldn't get a hold of your ex-boyfriend anymore and you figured he really didn't want to do anything with you. Your friends look at you with so much disgust that you can’t even find someone to have lunch with.
You're looking around the school cafeteria to find a place to sit, people are either looking at you with judgment or avoiding your stare. Then you saw a friendly face, the only person who gave you a sincere smile since the news about you blew up. You took a deep breath and walked towards his table. Jeno was in the middle of shoving spaghetti in his mouth when you sat in front of him and placed your food tray on the table. He stopped mid-track to look at you, he blinked a couple of times to make sure that he’s not hallucinating.
You just sat there waiting for him to say hi or welcome you, but you felt stupid for thinking he’s different as he just stared at you like he didn't even recognize you. “I'm sorry. I thought you- never mind. This is stupid I'm sorry.” You said as you stood up from your seat.
He quickly swallowed the food in his mouth and it almost choked him. “No, please don't leave, sit with us. I'm sure Jaemin wouldn't mind.” He looked at his friend at the same time you looked at him, he still had spaghetti sauce on his mouth, it made you smile a little.
“No. I don't mind at all. Eat with us by all means.” Jaemin replied. Jeno looked back at you with a smile on his face, his eyes are like crescent moons.
Their acceptance is enough for you to feel thankful. You were about to sit down when you heard the murmurs behind you, the whispers were so loud you weren’t sure if they're even trying to be discreet. “Where does she get the face to show up to school? And just look who she's sitting with, is she trying to corrupt every boy here?”
You were staring at your food when you felt a hand on top of yours. “Don’t listen to them. We don’t believe them.” Jeno assured you that made Jaemin nod his head.
You gave them a weak smile, “It was true though. I am pregnant.” Jeno was clearly taken aback, he thought the rumours about you were just rumours. He didn’t think it would be real.
You saw the dilemma in his eyes so you quickly added, “But I never cheated. I only slept with-” Jeno stopped you almost immediately. “Please don’t think you owe anyone an explanation. You don’t have to explain anything to us.” He told you kindly which almost made you tear up. “And honestly, it shouldn’t be anyone’s business anyway,” Jaemin said loud enough for the people around you to hear.
You were thankful for them but after that one time, you didn’t consider eating lunch with them again. They are genuinely nice people and you don’t want to drag them into your mess.
And I don't care what they say about you baby They don't know what you've been through
All of a sudden, you stopped showing up to school. Your sudden and continuous absences certainly made Jeno worry. He wanted to ask you how you're doing but he thought he might be crossing the line if he does. In the second week of your unexplained absences, Jeno decided to visit the school councillor and ask about you.
“I appreciate your concern for your friend Mr. Lee. Miss y/ln came here two weeks ago with her sister to inform us that she will be dropping out of school. Her health is the main reason for the decisions they have made and took her doctor's advice to take a much-needed rest away from the stress of school."
Jeno’s mind is quick to think of the worst possible scenarios, his leg is jumping up and down from tension as he couldn't stop himself from imagining you in a hospital bed. “What happened to her? How is she? Is she stressed out? I did some research and read that stress could be dangerous for the baby. How’s her baby? Are they okay? They should be okay if they're resting at home right?”
The councillor cleared her throat as Jeno mentioned ‘baby’ and carefully picked the right words to say, not wanting to give any sensitive information about you. “The pregnancy rumours about her could or could not be true Mr. Lee. Let’s not dwell in that.”
“But I know she’s pregnant. She told me that herself. I just need to know what happened to her. Please.”
“If she really told you about that very personal information, then you're probably close enough with her to ask her how she's doing. I cannot talk to you about her situation any further, I hope you understand.”
Jeno walked out of the councillor’s office dejected, Jaemin who's been waiting for him to come out stood up from his seat and walked up to Jeno. “What did she say? Is y/n okay?
“She didn't say anything else other than y/n dropped out from school due to health reasons.”
“Health reasons? Could this be about her pregnancy?” Jaemin whispered.
“I don't know, but it's most likely because of it. I hope they're doing okay. I'm worried about her baby.”
“Why would you worry about the baby? Wouldn't it be better for you if she los-”
Jeno quickly grabbed Jaemin’s collar and pulled him closer. “Don't you even dare finish saying that.”
Jaemin raised both of his hands and apologized as Jeno let go of him, “I'm sorry man. I just thought you’ve been in love with her for so long and having a baby is such a dealbreaker.”
“How’s that a dealbreaker? She’s bringing a life into this world and that's more to love about her. And why are you thinking that way Jaem? That’s a new low for you. You're no different from the people who judged her.”
Jeno quickly left, leaving Jaemin speechless.
The stress from school and the pressure of keeping your pregnancy a secret drove you near to having a miscarriage.
Your sister is excitedly talking about her wedding and how your graduation is two years away and how you should start sending applications to universities soon made your head started spinning. You felt a sharp pain in your abdomen and couldn't help but groan.
“What's wrong?” Your sister quickly walked to you. The excruciating pain couldn't let you speak. “Oh my god.” Your sister mumbled beside you looking at your legs. You followed her stare and looked down at yourself. Blood is dripping down your legs and starting to pool at your feet. You're slowly losing your strength and lean your weight on your sister. You heard her screaming for Taeil and felt him carry you.
“I'm sorry.” You whispered before blacking out.
You woke up in a hospital bed, you looked around and saw Taeil sleeping on a chair. A little later your sister came into your room with a cup of water. She quickly walked to your side when she saw you awake. “Y/n! You gave us a heart attack. How are you feeling? Are you hurt somewhere?”
Your sister examined you herself and the genuine concern in her voice made you cry. She already found out about your pregnancy but there is no hint of anger in her. She tried calming you down but it only made you cry harder.
“I'm going to call a doctor.” Taeil said and got up from his seat to look for help.
“What's wrong, y/n? Use your words, honey.” Your sister cooed at you.
“I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to.” You finally said between your sobs.
She only gave you a smile at you with tears in her eyes threatening to fall. “Shh. We’re going to be with you every step of the way.” She assured you.
All the fear you have been keeping to yourself faded. A little later Taeil came back with your doctor. She asked you if you were stressed in the past days and for the sake of your baby, you told the truth in front of your sister. “The stress started when I had suspicions about being pregnant. I told my…” You looked at your sister before continuing “-boyfriend about it and he asked for me to take a pregnancy test before assuming things so I did, and when the tests came out positive, he denied that he’s the father of my baby when he knows all too well that he’s the only guy I ever slept with. For some reason, everyone in school found out that I am pregnant and someone spread rumours that I was sleeping with different guys. And I couldn't find the right time to tell my family about it because I was scared that they'd get mad at me.” Your heard your sister sobbing beside you but you kept your eyes on your doctor who only gave you a sympathetic smile.
“The stress caused your blood pressure to spike up. High blood pressure is extremely dangerous to the health of your baby, it could end in several things including premature birth and miscarriage, which brings me to the reason why you're here today. You had what we medically called a threatened abortion, this gave you a higher possibility rate of having a miscarriage especially during the early stages of your pregnancy.” You felt your sister's hand on top of yours, you gave it a squeeze and she held onto you tighter. “If all of your stress is coming from your environment, I suggest that you avoid it in the meantime. I know education is very important and you wish to continue your studies but I highly recommend that you take a break from school- at least until you give birth to a healthy baby.” Your doctor added.
“I’ll do everything to keep my baby safe.” Your sister gave you a nod in agreement.
“And you have our full support.” Taeil also gave your hand a squeeze. You were certain that you could handle everything and anything with them by your side.
Trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you
8 months later you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. You named your daughter Dasom, which means love. Her family might be unique but she will grow with overflowing love.
Your pregnancy was so difficult that you had to get extra hands to help you to do the simplest things. Your sister and Taeil have the kindest hearts to put you first before their wedding. You felt so bad but they already made their decision and focused on helping you with your pregnancy. Half of the money they saved up for their wedding was used to buy things in preparation for your baby’s arrival. They did not give you the chance to stop them, mostly because they buy the baby stuff behind your back.
The wedding happened six months later. In the end, the couple decided to have a civil ceremony in the mayor’s office instead. The wedding might have been less grand than their initial plan but their hearts are still over the moon. Now that they're married you thought it would be best for you to get your own small apartment. Your sister and her husband would be needing a lot of personal time to start their own family and you didn't want to be the one hindering it too.
Although they insisted that they didn't mind you and your daughter staying with them, you moved out anyway. You saw an ad for a one-bedroom apartment a few blocks away from your sister's house and you immediately grabbed the opportunity to rent it. It’s time to live independently. Being a single mother will never be easy and you have to get used to it.
You’re finishing high school through GED and attending classes from 5 o’clock in the afternoon until 10 in the evening, then right after class you will go straight to your job and work from 11 PM until 7 in the morning. You leave your daughter in your sister’s care and will pick her up the next morning before your sister leaves for work and after you take a couple of hours nap. You spend your whole day playing with Dasom and you couldn’t think of any better way to spend it. Sure, it wasn’t as independent as you imagined it would be, but as long as you're giving the best for your daughter you don't think you're going to regret anything at all.
People were still quick to judge you when they found out that you’re a teenage, single mother that works from dusk to dawn in a suspicious bar. You couldn’t care less of what they have to say, you just let them think whatever they wanted to think and continued minding your own business. Your days of trying to please the people around you are over because the moment you became a mother, the gravity of your world shifted from you to her. Everything you do, every decision you make is for your daughter. You watch her grow every day and each day you see more of yourself in her. Her smiles are just like yours and when you look her into the eyes it’s like you’re staring in a mirror.
You’re so proud of her and her achievements at a very young age. At nineteen months, she chooses her own clothes to wear and you would always post her outfits on your Twitter account.
When you dropped out of school you decided that it’s best for you to lay off social media and deleted every account you have on each platform except for Twitter. You blocked almost everyone from your school. From almost a thousand followers you only left 20 people in your followers and it’s arguably one of the best things you did.
Jeno is one of the few people you didn't remove from your followers. And since you detoxed toxic people out of your life, you started sharing more intimate and personal things about yourself. You posted pictures of your pregnant belly back when you were still pregnant, to pictures from your sister’s wedding, and even the very first picture you took with your daughter in the delivery room.
He's never been more updated to you before than he is now.
Now that Jeno’s in college, reading your tweets is his way of de-stressing. A cute picture of you and your daughter would easily take a week worth of his stress. You often tweet pictures of your daughter and Jeno would always be the first one to like them. The resemblance you had to your daughter is uncanny.
Tonight is no different for Jeno. After a long day of studying and burying himself in workloads, he laid himself in his bed and opened his Twitter account going straight to your page. The vibe of your twitter is always light and welcoming, something he needs after a tiring day. Other than your updates about your daughter you retweet a lot of motivational quotes and hilarious memes every day, but instead of seeing something funny, he saw an extremely alarming tweet posted just a few seconds ago.
Forgive me, love. Mama isn’t strong enough. I love you so much. Don’t be like mama.
Without any second thoughts, Jeno bolted from his bed and ran to his car. There is something wrong with your tweet and he felt it in his bones. He was so worried that he didn’t hear his mother calling after him. Jeno looked at the time, it’s 2 o’clock in the morning. Where could you be at this hour? The only place he could think of was your job and that’s where he found himself heading to.
She got a bad reputation Nobody gets too close A sight of a soul when it's breaking Making my heart grow cold
Jeno was so worried he kept mumbling things to himself, it's even plausible that he's already praying without him realizing it. He didn’t bother checking his speed anymore, all he could think of is to get to you as fast as he possibly could.
As he was passing through a bridge, he saw a very familiar figure standing on the very edge of the rail. He quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and quietly- but quickly- run to you. Jeno was smart enough not to close his car door, afraid to make a sound that could scare you to jumping.
You were crying your heart out, begging for your daughter’s forgiveness but no matter how hard and how much you weep, the weight and agony in your heart never ceased. You’re lost, hopeless and beyond help. You couldn’t think of any solution other than this and the only thing that’s stopping you is your daughter. It was never your intention to leave her fatherless and motherless, but she’s better off without a mother like you. Taeil and your sister are more capable of giving her the life you couldn’t give.
You exhaled deeply and stepped closer to the edge ready to jump when you felt two arms wrapped around your body and hastily pulled you back to the ground. Your body dropped over him, Jeno could feel your whole body shivering. His arms tightened around you, terrified to let you go. He was so petrified he didn’t realize that he’s now crying with you. Jeno somehow managed to call 911 without letting go of you. Your legs turned to jelly and lost all your strength to fight back so you stayed in his grip. He held onto you on the ground whispering comforting words trying his best to calm you but your tears are flowing uncontrollably. A few minutes later an ambulance and police came to your aid.
The emergency responders gave you a much-needed sedative to calm you. A police officer is nice enough to drive Jeno’s car to the hospital as he jumps in the ambulance with you refusing to leave you alone. He held your hand tightly and watched you peacefully sleeping on an ambulance stretcher. A doctor quickly assessed your condition upon arriving at the hospital and only then the police took Jeno’s statement. Even while talking to the police he never took his eyes away from you, as if you were going to disappear any second.
You’re now in a private room. Jeno is by your feet just watching you sleep when your sister, Taeil and Dasom arrived. Your sister cried as she kissed your hair while Taeil quietly caressed her back. Jeno looked at your daughter. This is the first time he saw her in person, she’s beautiful and she looks just like you. Your sister noticed Jeno in the corner of the room and hugged the life out of him while endlessly thanking him for saving your life.
“Some people would think nothing of her tweet, but you did something. How can we ever repay you?” She said between her sobs and sad smile. Jeno wanted to say he’s not just some people. He’s in love with you for god knows how long.
“I’m her friend and I only did what a friend would do.” Jeno smiled at them. Taeil walked to Jeno, Dasom in his arms, and offered him his hand that Jeno gladly took. “Thank you for saving my sister’s life. We’ll be forever in your debt.”
It was already 4am when Jeno got home to his worried parents waiting for him in the living area. “Lee Jeno, where the hell did you go in the middle of the night leaving your phone in your room?!” It was the first time Jeno saw his mom mad, let alone yelling. His father is just sitting on the couch looking intently at him waiting for Jeno to answer his mother’s question.
“Mom, dad. I’m sorry I didn’t get to text you or call you but there was an emergency-”
“How urgent could it be that you just ran past me?” His mom asked.
“A friend from high school tweeted something concerning so I went out to look for her and I saw her…” Jeno remembered how his body went cold at the sight of you standing on the edge of the bridge. “-about to jump off a bridge.”
Jeno buried his face in the palm of his hands, his parents went silent. He didn’t realize that he’s already crying in front of them. He was so scared. What if he didn't get to you in time. What if he didn’t open his Twitter account that night. His mother said not another word and hugged him tightly and his dad joined later on. “How is she now? Is she alright?” His dad asked as Jeno calmed down.
Jeno nodded. “Yes, dad. I got there just in time to stop her. She’s in the hospital right now with her sister, brother in law… and her daughter.”
“A lot happened tonight. You should get to bed and try to catch some sleep and pay her a visit later. And if there’s anything at all, you know you can always talk to me and your dad right?”
Jeno gave them a smile, “Yes mom. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“We love you son.” His father added.
Skipping school to visit you in the hospital is probably the most rebellious thing Jeno has done in his life and he’s more than willing to do it again if he has to. He couldn't think of anything to bring you so he brought you cookies instead. As he made his way to your room he ran through your sister coming from the cafeteria holding two cups of coffee.
“Did you at least sleep? It's only been 4 hours since you’re last here.” Your sister asked Jeno, handing him a cup of coffee.
“Thank you.” Jeno said. He took a sip and felt the warmth of the drink spread through his chest. “I tried sleeping but after last night, I didn't really expect to sleep easily."
Your sister gave him a nod and a weak smile. “I get it. We’re all worried for her. Even my husband wanted to stay here in the hospital to watch after her, but one of us has to continue working to pay for the hospital bills. The ambulance alone costs two grand, imagine that."
Jeno couldn't lookup. He somehow felt responsible for the expenses they have to pay since he was the one who called 911. “I'm sorry, I will pay for the ambulance fee.”
“Oh god no! That's not what I meant! You’ve done so much for us already, I shouldn't have told you that I apologize. I'm just overly stressed, I forgot to think for a second there."
He didn't listen and took out his wallet and pulled out five-hundred dollars cash. “I could withdraw more later or pay directly with my card, but please take this for the meantime.” Jeno handed the money to your sister with both of his hands.
Your sister could only look at the money and shook her head. “I can't do that to you Jeno. This is too much.”
“Please. You need all the help you could get for y/n and Dasom. I will never ask for anything in return, I just want to help.”
Your sister sighed and took the money from him. “Thank you, Jeno. But I'm only borrowing this. We will pay you back, I promise.”
“And can we not tell y/n about this? Please?” Jeno pleaded, the least your sister could do is nod.
You're already awake and currently playing with your daughter in your room. Last night should have been your last night and if it weren't for Jeno you wouldn't be playing with your daughter right now.
“Mama, sad?” Your daughter asked you as she tries to erase the sad frown on your face.
“Mama’s just happy that I get to play with you today.”
Your daughter hugged you tightly, burying her head in your chest, “Don't be sad. I will play with you every day.” Her voice was full of innocence and you're so mad at yourself for even considering hurting her.
“And I promise you that I will be with you every day.” You kissed your daughter's head and lulled her to sleep. You were watching your daughter fall asleep on your chest when Jeno knocked on your door, holding a bag of cookies in one hand.
Remembering the events from last night was so embarrassing for you. You never wanted anyone to see you so vulnerable, especially by someone you’re only acquainted with. Jeno, who you barely talk with, saw you at your lowest and you didn't know how to act around him now after what happened. You were so ashamed to look him in the eyes, but you tried your best to give him a smile.
“Hi.” He whispered, careful not to wake Dasom up. “I met your sister at the lobby. She's doing some paper works but she said she'll be back soon.”
You nodded and cleared your throat. The silence is killing you. You wanted to thank him for what he did last night but you couldn't find your voice to speak. “I-Uhm.” You started, but words flew out of your head. What's so hard with saying I’m sorry and Thank you?
Jeno sensed that you're uncomfortable and prompted to leave. “I could leave and come back later when your sister’s here.” He offered.
“No, please stay.” You called out. “I haven't thanked you for what you did yet. Thank you.” For the first time, you looked into his eyes. You’ve known the guy since you were just little kids but you couldn't recall if you ever looked at him the way you're doing right now. His eyes are so pretty as if they hold the wonders of the world. Jeno is a shy boy but his eyes are bold and candid.
He only gave you a smile and looked at your sleeping daughter. “She’s beautiful. Looks just like you.”
Your eyes shifted to your daughter, “She is.” You said as you shuffled on your bed trying to find a comfortable position. She didn't get enough sleep last night and you didn't want to wake her from her much-needed nap, but your IV line is caught in between your daughter's body and you could feel the piercing pain every time you move.
“Isn't she heavy? Do you want me to take her?” Jeno asked. You nodded immediately and gave a shy chuckle. He walked closer to your bed, put the bag of cookies on your bedside table before carefully taking your sleeping daughter in his arms. You could swear that you felt your heartbeat loudly as you watched Jeno cradling your sleeping daughter. Jeno couldn't help but smile at the sight of your daughter sinking her face to his chest.
“She does that all the time. She loves cuddling.” You told him with a smile.
“I love cuddles too.” Jeno cooed and showed his ever most beautiful eye smile. Jeno sat down on the chair by your bed and continued to cradle Dasom in his arms. “I brought you cookies.” He said. “I don't know what's appropriate to bring and that's all I could think of. Please enjoy them.”
You chuckled and took the bag of cookies to your hand. “Just like the cookies you gave me in kindergarten.”
His heart jumped. He didn't think you would still remember what happened over a decade ago. He feels like screaming in so much happiness but the sleeping figure of Dasom keeps him from doing so. He blushed like crazy though. “You still remember that?” He asked.
“Of course. I saved you from your bullies and you gave me these as a thank you. You're my very first friend.” and currently my only friend, you thought.
He relived that day so many times in his head and this is the first time he's hearing your side of the story. “You were my first friend too. My bullies left me alone after what you did so I kind of owe you my peaceful childhood.” He laughed at his own joke and you couldn't help but chuckle with him.
“And I owe you my life today. I guess we're even now.” You tried to make a joke about what happened, but Jeno knows how serious it was and he couldn't let it go without letting you know that you're loved and cared for.
“Y/n.” He called out. You hummed and looked at him. “Whatever you're going through, I need you to know that it will not always be this difficult and it will not always be this painful. It's okay to be weak, but it's critical to know when to ask for help. I know we're not that close but if you need someone to talk to— even if I'm the last person in your mind— I will always be here for you.”
You never had someone tell you this. Sure you have your family, but you couldn't tell them your problems and risk being a burden again. They’ve done so much for you already. It might sound shallow, but Jeno’s heartening words took off some of the weight you carry. His promises made you feel protected. You felt like you showed him the bareness of your soul and the next thing you know you're already pouring all of your troubles and distress to him.
“I work as a waitress at a club, a strip club to be precise. I don't strip, I only serve drinks and snacks to customers. It's the only job that works well with our schedules that pays good and gives good tips. It's the perfect job despite what people think of me. That job provides for us, it gives Dasom a comfortable life and I get to save money for her future.” You gave a sad smile.
“But something happened a week ago. A club’s patron came and ordered his usual drink except that he also wanted me to strip for him in private. He knows I'm just a waitress and I am off-limits, but he…” Your eyes started to get cloudy as you think of what happened next. “—he forcefully touched me so I punched him in the face and broke his nose. They wanted me to apologize, but I refused so the club fired me instead. I begged them not to, but they're scared of him. I've been applying to different places but that man is influential and blacklisted me wherever I go.” You wiped your tears before continuing,
“I have been using my savings to buy diapers and formula for Dasom, to pay bills and to feed myself. In the span of a week I already used half of it and I still haven't gotten a job. I was desperate and I thought of my life insurance. We got a generous amount of money when our parents died and if Dasom were to receive that kind of money it would be more than enough to give her a better future.”
You looked down on your fingers and played with them. Jeno stared at you with so much pain. His heart broke after hearing your story and he swore that he could do so much more than a punch in the face if he ever saw that man that caused you all this. “I'm sorry. That man is a jerk. He got what he deserved and you should have given him a nice kick on his shin too.”
You laughed. “I guess I should've done that. Make sure it's broken, not sprained.”
“All jokes aside you have to know that no amount of money is worth your life. I understand that you only wanted the best for your daughter but Dasom needs her mother more than a pile of money.”
You kept your head down as you let your tears fall. What Jeno said is a bitter pill that is hard to swallow but you needed to take it to make you feel better. You looked at Jeno who was staring at you and gave him a faint smile. Jeno saw tears starting to pool around your eyes but there is understanding and deep gratitude behind those tears.
A little later your sister came back and that was Jeno’s cue to leave. He planned on staying in the hospital with you for the whole day, but after your talk, he had more important things to attend to. Jeno walked to his car and dialled someone, “Dad? I'm on my way to your office, I have something to ask from you.”
And into the deeper she's sinking I'm begging her please don't let go She's got a bad reputation But she's all that, all I want though
“What is it, son? I'm sorry but you have to make it fast. I have to leave the office after this.” He rambled as his eyes were still focused on the papers in front of him. A frown is visible on his forehead but there's also a noticeable wrinkle beside his eyes and crease on both sides of his mouth, a sign of his frequent smiles.
“Is your next meeting important? Can mom be here too?” Jeno asked in all seriousness that made his father look away from the pile of paper in front of him and glanced at his son.
“I can push it in the afternoon. What's wrong?”
“Nothing to worry about dad, but I’d still need mom with us if you don't mind.” Jeno gave his father a reassuring smile.
“Of course.” His dad called his secretary to move his schedule an hour later and asked for his wife to his office. Ten minutes later his mother arrived with a worried look on her face. Jeno guided his mom to the seat in front of him. “What do you want to talk about Jeno?” His mother softly asked.
“Mom, dad. Do you remember the friend I talked to you about yesterday night?”
His mom nodded, “Yes. What about her? You paid her a visit earlier right?” Her eyes widened, “Is she alright?” His father seems to have caught up with his wife’s thoughts and gasped silently, darting his eyes to his son, hoping for good news.
Jeno immediately raised his hands and waved their assumptions away. “Oh god, no! God, no.” His parents' expressions softened. “Nothing bad happened to her. She’s okay, her sister and her daughter are with her at the hospital. She’s getting the help she needs and she’s doing much better.”
“You should have led with that son.” Said his father to lighten up the mood. Jeno chuckled.
“Actually, I came here to talk to you about her and the reason why she did what she did yesterday. And I need both of you to listen to me first before saying or asking anything.” His parents promised and waited for their son to speak again. Jeno inhaled deeply. This is probably the first time he’s going to open up something so personal to him, to his parents.
“Her name’s Y/N. She has an older sister who is married to an electrician. Their parents died in a car crash when she was extremely young and were brought up by their grandmother who died just a couple of years ago. She fell in love with the wrong man at eighteen and got pregnant, the guy did not want to do anything with them. She bravely dropped out of school to work full time so she can raise her daughter alone while she studies to get her diploma equivalent certificate. She goes to school in the afternoon and works in a bar at night as a waitress. She’s a very brave woman and she’s so much more than what people judged her to be. Unfortunately, she recently lost her job when she stood up and protected herself from harm. Her name was blacklisted in every place she applied at. Desperate, she thought about her life insurance and how the insurance money would benefit her daughter financially. The next thing she knew, she’s standing at the edge of a bridge. I'm here asking, as your son, using all the privilege I could use to get my friend a job in this company.”
His parents shared a significant look as if their eyes were spoken a thousand words already. He watched his parents stare at each other for what feels like forever. His father put his hand on top of his mother’s lap and nodded. “Son, do you mind me asking, what's your relationship with this girl?”
Jeno looked his father in the eyes. He knows what his father meant to ask and he’s scared of their reaction if he says something they might not like. Jeno avoided his father’s stare before answering. “Nothing special. As I said, she’s a friend.”
“You’d go crazy looking for a friend in the middle of the night?”
“Dad, I already explained that to you. Any decent human being would do the same.”
“And you would barge in my office, demand our time just to listen to her depressing life story and then expect us to magically find a job for her just because you said so?” His father asked calmly. Too calm that it scared him, but Jeno didn't let it get to him.
“I didn't barge, I called beforehand. I asked for your undivided time respectfully and you gave it to me. It doesn't matter who she is to me, I just need to know if we could help her or not, sir.” Jeno ended on a strong note but kept it polite.
“You like this girl do you?” His mom finally spoke. He tried reading her eyes but he couldn't read anything, he then switched his gaze to his father who also shares the same expressionless face his mother holds.
“This girl’s name is Y/N and yes mom, I like her. I think I've liked her since we're in kindergarten and I never stopped liking her since then. Actually, no. I don't just like her. I’m in love with her.”
Jeno confessed his feelings for the first time. He knew that he’s in love with you but he never said it out loud. Hearing it from himself after years of hiding it made his feelings more serious and deeper than he thought it was.
“But she has a daughter—”
“A very beautiful and innocent daughter.” Jeno quickly added. “I honestly don't care if she had a child. She is the most kind-hearted person and she deserves to be loved just as much as any other person out there if not more.” The next thing happened quickly. His mom is crying but there's a smile on her face. His dad is also smiling, showing the same crescent eyes he has and keeps on saying he’s proud of him.
“Wait. You're not mad?” Jeno asked, confused.
His mom walked to him and hugged him tightly. “Of course not. We're glad that we brought up a gentleman.”
“And about your request, of course, we could open a position just for her. We can hire her as an interim assistant for now and prepare her for a secretarial job. In that way, you’ll have someone to guide you when you take over the company after you graduate from business school. As for her salary, we can only give her an appropriate amount of pay for her job to keep it fair to our other employees, but her pay would increase annually by 2%. I'll also make sure to give her benefits and full coverage insurance for her including her daughter by extension. How’s that sound?” His father proudly said.
Jeno stood up from his seat and hugged his father, tears threatening to fall but he couldn't care any less. “Sounds perfect. Thank you, dad.” He whispered before turning to his mother, “thank you, mom.”
“And there's also an exclusive daycare at the building where you can leave Dasom. You can visit her any chance you can get, and think of the benefits, you can easily save money for Dasom’s college.”
Jeno already told you the news about the job offer. He’s been hyping about it for an hour no, you didn't listen to half of what he said because you were so busy watching him talk excitedly. You have never seen him this talkative and you just noticed that he makes the cutest giggles when he says something funny.
“So what do you think? Dad said you can start as soon as you can. Y/N? Are you even listening?”
“I'm sorry I was just thinking about something.”
Jeno groaned and slumped himself on the chair. “I’ve been talking for an hour now. My mouth is parched already and you didn't even pay attention. Wow.” He sarcastically said, gaining a laugh from you.
“I heard half of it! I'm sorry.” Which of course he forgave you. How can he ever get mad at you?
“So? Will you take the job?”
You hesitated. The job is the best you could get especially for someone who didn't graduate from high school and hasn't finished taking GED classes yet, but you don't know what to feel that it will be Jeno, once again, giving you another chance to live your life. He did so much for you already and you feel bad that you caused this burden to him and he probably feels like he's responsible for you now. “I'm grateful. I really am. But am I not extremely underqualified for the job? It's literally a secretarial job at a corporation and I'm just a teenager without education or experience in an office job.”
Jeno walked near to you and sat by your feet. “You're one of the smartest students in your batch and there is nothing you couldn't learn. You have 3 years to learn everything you need to learn and when you're ready for the actual job, you’ll be working mostly with me. I’ll always be here for you so there's nothing to worry about. Don't let this opportunity get away and just say yes.”
You quickly inched closer to him and hugged him so tight he thought he started seeing clouds. He reached your back and hugged you too.
“Thank you much Jeno. You don't know how much this means to me.”
His heart swelled with pride. Finally, he’s not just someone who watches from afar. He’s no longer hiding behind the pieces of paper he leaves on your locker, no longer hiding behind the screen. He’s now helping you, hugging you, talking to you. It's far more than what he craved to do and he’s pleased with how much his relationship with you improved. From being someone you know from kindergarten, he's now a friend.
“Mama?” You quickly break away from the hug and Jeno backs away from the bed. You look at your daughter watching you from the door. “Hey baby, what are you doing there? Where's your aunt?” Dasom ran towards you and asked to be lifted. “Baby, I can't lift you. I’m still wearing this tube see?” You showed her your left hand with an IV injected into it.
She took a short glance then walked to Jeno stretching both of her arms up to him. “Can you lift me to my mama's bed?” Jeno’s heart pounded with joy, feeling special that your daughter casually walked and talked to him.
“Of course.” He pulled her up to his arms and gently put her on your bed.
“What are you going to say?” You asked your daughter.
“Thank you, sir.” Jeno couldn't help but smile. He thought he's going to faint in happiness when she blew him a kiss to say thanks.
“You're very welcome, Dasom. You can call me Jeno.” He properly introduced himself to her.
“Okay, Jeno.” She smiled so big her missing tooth was showing.
“He’s Uncle Jeno, call him Uncle Jeno.” You corrected your daughter which almost made Jeno seizure on his feet. He was so flattered that you made your daughter call him uncle, he could only give you a smile which you gladly returned.
And I don't care what they say about you baby They don't know what you've been through
Two days later you were finally discharged from the hospital, but you still have to keep up with counselling that helps you learn how to properly handle problems and stress. You rested at home for a week after discharge and went to start your new job at Mr. Lee’s company. The people there welcomed you warmly and were very friendly. All of your coworkers are older than you, they guided you through your first day and helped you understand how the office works.
The salary you're earning now is just a little over what you're earning at the bar, but here, you have a safer workplace, lots of benefits and you work on normal working hours. There is indeed an exclusive daycare in the building, you visit Dasom at daycare every chance you get and watch her play with kids her age.
Your relationship with Jeno changed in some way. Every day, Jeno would pick you and Dasom up from work and drive you home. Sometimes he would take you and your daughter to Mcdonald’s drive-thru and get Dasom a happy meal while the two of you shared 20 pcs Mcnuggets. There are times that Jeno would play with Dasom at the daycare to keep your daughter from getting bored when you're needed to stay overtime.
Jeno did not try hiding that he likes you and even though he never confessed, you're aware of what he feels for you, and there is no point in denying that you're starting to reciprocate special feelings for him too. The way he takes care of you and Dasom is something that always gets you.
But the last time you fell in love you were left alone with a broken heart and a pregnant belly, so even though you know Jeno is nothing like your ex-boyfriend, you decided to not make a big deal out of it and continued acting as if your heart's not beating so loud every time your eye catches Jeno.
“Hey. I came here to pick up a kid. She’s from the daycare, her name’s Dasom. Do you know her by any chance?” Jeno said with a smile on his face, Dasom giggling beside you.
“We’re the ones you're going to pick up uncle Jeno.” Dasom ran to his leg and hugged it.
“Oh. You're here! I didn't see you.” Jeno bent down to hug your daughter.
“Yes, you did! Mama said lying means no Peppa for a week!”
“No Peppa for a week?! That's outrageous! I guess lying will do me no good, does it?” He smiled and straightened his back as he carried your daughter in one arm then put the other around your shoulder.
“How’s work today babe?” He asked it so casually like he’s been calling you babe for a long time now. Your heart is like throwing a big EDM party in your chest, you couldn't find the right words to say. Jeno, like you, was caught off guard by his unexpected use of the term in endearment. “Uhh. S-sorry. That’s- that's”
“No. It's fine.” You saved him from another embarrassment of explaining why he called you that.
It's been a year since the day you almost committed the stupidest mistake of your life. Jeno and your family supported you in your recovery and pull your life back together. They became your emotional support and you couldn't imagine life without them anymore, so his small mistake of calling you “babe” shouldn't scare you at all right?
“Mama is uncle Jeno’s babe.” Dasom is giggling while you're strapping her in her booster seat. Jeno heard it loud and clear, his face immediately turned bright red. Lucky for him you weren't able to see that. “Uncle Taeil calls auntie babe too.” You love your daughter to death but at this moment you could only wish for her to… “Mama, are you getting married to uncle Jeno too?” —shut up.
“Shh. Please take a nap, Dasom baby. I'm begging you.” You whispered to your daughter, but then again Jeno heard it, making him snort into laughter. Hearing his laugh is contagious. You couldn't help but laugh the awkwardness away. “I'm sorry. 3-year-olds are normally this curious.” You apologized as you put your own seatbelt on.
He smiled at you. He’s been meaning to ask you out for a long time, but he couldn't find the right time to do so. And the more he procrastinates the more he sees himself in the same situation he was in high school. “I don't mind being your mama’s babe. Do you think she would?” Jeno bravely asked your daughter at the backseat, keeping his eyes on the rearview mirror.
“I don't know. Mama’s right beside you, you ask her. Uncle Jeno’s silly.” She giggled louder when Jeno looked at you next.
“So? Do you mind being my babe?” There's a smirk on his face.
The world feels like closing into you like you couldn't breathe but in a good way. Would this be a good idea? Getting back into the dating world scares the shit out of you, but you thought, you're not going to date just anybody. It's Jeno. The person you could literally trust your life with. “I think Uncle Jeno should take us out on a date first. What do you think, baby?” You asked your daughter too.
You heard your daughter’s loud ‘yeah’ and screamed ‘Mcdonald's nonstop, but you couldn't take your eyes away from the man beside you that is wearing the widest and sweetest smile you've ever seen. He took your hand and kissed your knuckles. “A chance is all I'm asking for. Thank you.”
You touched his cheek with the same hand and caressed it, he put weight on your palm and looked at you dreamingly. “Something tells me you're worth the jump.” You smiled back
Giving Jeno the chance to prove to you that not all men are assholes is one of the best things you have done. You started seeing him in a different light, you saw how he and your daughter get along well, how he takes care of you, how he manages his time studying and spending time with you. He’s been everything you imagined he would be. One time you found yourself letting people at the mall compliment your little ‘family’ and your heart fluttered more when Jeno thanked them for saying that he looks like your daughter.
Jeno exceeded the standards of being boyfriend material. At the age of 23, you saw responsibility and maturity in him. He does well in his school, is a gentleman and is a family man. You're proud that you're the one he loves and you've been wanting to become his girlfriend for quite some time now, but something is stopping you.
How could you make a perfect man like Jeno father a child that is not his? A man like Jeno should be with a woman that meets his standards. Smart, educated and free. Unlike you, who barely even finished high school, knocked up at eighteen. You believe that he deserves more than what you can offer at your best.
“Hey babe what are you thinking?" He sat beside you on the park bench with a princess Tiana backpack hooked on his shoulder and a bright pink toddler’s cup in one hand.
You gave him a smile. You truly don't deserve him. “Nothing. Just things.”
He frowned. “It looks serious. What's it about?”
You looked away and searched for your daughter playing soccer with the other kids. “Thank you for bringing us here. It means a lot.” You said, changing the topic.
The frown on his face disappeared as he watched Dasom chase the ball, “You don't have to thank me every time I spend quality time with you and Dasom. I love her as much, she's such a sweet girl with a kind heart. Just like her mom.”
You were about to answer when you saw her tripped and fell on her stomach, you wouldn’t worry at first but then you heard her cry and she rarely cries. Both of you jumped up from your seat and ran towards your daughter when a strangely familiar man came to her aid first. “Where does it hurt?” You heard him ask as he checked your daughter's feet. That voice is too familiar to you and you didn't like it. You only confirmed who it was when Jeno looked at you with a worried look.
It's Haechan.
And trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you
“Excuse me, that's my daughter.” You sternly said, slightly shoving Haechan away. “Where does it hurt baby?” You felt his gaze on you but you didn't bother looking back. “Jeno, we should get this checked. I think she twisted her ankle and she might have a sprain.” Jeno nodded and immediately carried your daughter and ran to his car. Haechan was about to follow them when you stopped him, “Your concern is appreciated, but you're done helping.”
He looked at you with pleading eyes, tears started to pool around them. “What’s her name? She’s big now and she plays soccer too.” He sounded desperate but you didn't pay attention.
“Let me make this clear, Haechan. We don't want anything to do with you so you better stay the fuck away from us.”
“Please y/n.” For the first time in your life, you saw him cry but you felt nothing.
“Y/N let's go! Dasom won't stop crying!” You heard Jeno call you from the car and you ran up to them. The car ride was quiet other than Dasom’s whimpering. Jeno noticed a black motorcycle following and he instantly knew who it was.
“I think we have company.” Jeno hinted and looked at you through his rearview mirror. You snapped your head to see and he’s right, Haechan is following closely behind.
The nurses checked your daughter’s feet immediately and confirmed that she indeed sprained her ankle and needed to wear a cast for two weeks. You and Jeno are standing side by side and Haechan is standing by the door, keeping away from everyone’s way. You wanted to ask him to leave but you didn't want to create a commotion when your daughter's present. When the doctor and nurses left, you sat on your daughter's bed and kissed her forehead. “You're so brave, baby. I'm proud of you.”
“Am I brave uncle Jeno?” She asked, Jeno walked closer to you and rested his hands on your shoulder then gave Dasom a high five. “You are! You really are a big girl now.” He complimented which made her giggle.
Her giggles stopped when she saw Haechan by the door, looking at her with a sad smile on his face. “Who’s he, mama?” You gave Haechan a glare. He cleared his throat and stood taller, “I'm just your mama’s old friend.”
“But you don't look old?” Haechan laughed but tears are streaming down his face. Jeno quickly took your daughter's attention as you approached Haechan and pulled him away from your daughter's room.
“What's your deal Haechan? What do you want?” You asked in gritted teeth.
“I'm sorry. I have been thinking about her for 3 years and this is the first time my daughter ever talked to me.” He shared it with you with a smile on his face.
“She is not your daughter. She's never been and never will be.” Your voice is filled with venom and he understands that.
“The last thing that I want is to ruin your lives. I don't want to cause any trouble with you and your boyfriend, I just want to be in my— your daughter's life.” He tried reaching for your hands but you avoided his touch.
“And the last thing that I want is for you to show up and demand to be in my daughter's life!”
“Y/n, I was stupid. I was young. I had a bright future in soccer and colleges are wanting me to play for them. I was scared and I thought it would ruin my dreams. I was selfish and a jerk, and I truly regret everything I did to you. I have never stopped thinking about our daughter since the day I left you at that gasoline station. I know I deserve nothing from you, but I'm begging you. I’m here for her now. I'm done making mistakes, I just want to set things right.”
Haechan is on the floor of the hospital halls, kneeling in front of you, begging for forgiveness, begging for a second chance to be in your daughter's life. Little did you know Jeno is on the other side of the door, listening to the conversation you were having with Haechan. He couldn't help but get frightened, threatened even. He never thought of your ex coming back to your lives and the thought of Haechan taking you and your daughter from him scared the soul out of him.
He took one look at Dasom and his worries eased up a bit. He walked to her and sat on her bed. “I need you to remember that Uncle Jeno loves you so much. Hm?”
Dasom looked at him confused but hugged him nevertheless and replied, “I love you so much too, Uncle Jeno.” Jeno closed his eyes and savoured every word she said.
Nobody knows the way that I know her, said Nobody knows the weight that's on her shoulders, said Nobody knows the way that I know her, said She got it bad, she got it bad
Jeno is driving you and Dasom back to your apartment. You kept quiet and so did he. He wanted to ask you so many questions but he refrained from doing it. When you arrived, you carried your daughter from the backseat to her bedroom and thanked Jeno for staying with you in the hospital.
“Are you alright?” He asked. Suddenly you felt the weight of your problems on your shoulders. Without thinking twice, Jeno pulled you in an embrace and let you cry on his shoulder.
“I don't know what to do, Jeno. Haechan doesn't deserve shit, but my daughter, what about my daughter? Maybe now she’s not asking about her father but what am I going to say to her when she starts asking? That I pushed his father away from her life? What if he takes her away from me?”
Jeno tried so hard to stay neutral and give you rational advice, not letting his emotions take the best of him.
“You have to see if Haechan is willing to stick this time. Dasom does not deserve to be left by his dad once, let alone twice. And it's totally up to you if you're going to introduce Haechan as her father or just someone you know. You have the full custody of Dasom and no one’s going to take her away from you.”
His words surely did give you comfort. Both of you stayed in that position as you slowly fell asleep with Jeno on your couch that night.
The smell of bacon woke you up from your sleep, half awake you bolted to the kitchen to check if something’s burning. Your heart melted at the sight of Jeno cooking breakfast with your daughter wearing an oversized apron while sitting on a stool.
“Mama likes bacon with eggs!” Dasom exclaimed.
“Shh we have to keep real quiet so your mama can get more sleep,” Jeno whispered, making your daughter laugh.
If this is the sight you're going to wake up to every day, then there's nothing else you could wish for. Then it hit you. Dasom never asked about his father because Jeno has been filling up that empty role in her life.
You have never been happier since you've given Jeno a chance to prove his love for you. Today you decided that it's your turn to give back his undying love. Quietly, you sneaked from behind. Your daughter caught you and you immediately put your finger on your mouth, signalling her to stay quiet. Gently, you wrapped your arms around his torso and peeked under his arm.
“Good morning.” You greeted him with a smile.
He lowered the heat of the stove before pulling you to his front to hug you properly. “A good morning indeed.”
“Mama stop hugging Uncle Jeno! He’s cooking us breakfast!” Your daughter whined.
“He can still cook while I'm hugging my boyfriend.” You smiled at her, knowing too well that she didn't understand it. Unfortunately, Jeno did not quite get it too.
“Your mama’s right. I can still cook while she's hugging her boy… wha-what?”
“Wha wha wha what?” You imitated him showing him the biggest smile.
“What did you just say?” His smile is even bigger than yours, eyes disappearing completely.
“You heard me.” You said and buried your head on his chest, hugging him tightly.
“She said her boyfriend, Uncle Jeno,” Dasom repeated you for him.
Jeno loosen your hug to pick up your daughter from the stool. “She did say that right? But I never agreed to that didn't I?”
“Oh is that how it is?” You answered laughing.
He quickly pulled you into a hug together with your daughter. “I love you.” He whispered in your ear with a smile.
“I know. I love you too.” You whispered back.
It's Sunday afternoon, you don't have to get to work and Jeno’s over your apartment spending time with you. Dasom is taking her nap in her bedroom and you thought this is the best time to address what happened last week at the hospital.
After that hospital trip, Haechan keeps on trying to get back to her daughter's life and honestly, you have no idea what to do. He promised to give you time to think and would do everything to gain your trust back.
“Babe?” You called him, his eyes never left from the movie. You shifted on your seat to look at him. “Can I talk to you about Haechan?” Suddenly, you got his full undivided attention. He turned the TV off and sat properly. Jeno couldn't help but feel threatened by Haechan’s unexpected reappearance in your lives. Sure, he's your boyfriend now but you were Haechan's first, and the daughter that Jeno loves dearly, is also his.
“What about him?”
“I don't want to keep any secrets from you and I want to tell you that I'm thinking of letting Haechan into Dasom's life.”
Jeno was quiet for a minute, carefully thinking over what to say. “You're going to introduce him as what?”
“I don't know yet. I'm going to see how she's going to react around him first.” Jeno looked down at his fingers. You saw how worried his eyes are and you could only imagine what goes on in his head. “Hey, babe. What are you thinking? Talk to me.”
“I'm just scared he’s going to take Dasom away from me. I know he’s the father and I'm just the fun uncle. But I love her like my own and it's going to wreck me when she starts calling him dad.”
You embraced Jeno, you didn't know he’s been thinking that way and it broke your heart. You have been thinking of Dasom a lot that you forgot that Jeno is affected too. “Babe, you're always going to be Dasom’s first love and she's going to love you for a long, long time. Do you want to know what she asked me before we started dating?” He nodded. “She told me that she wishes she's your daughter so you don't have to lie at the mall.”
Soon enough Jeno's crying on your shoulder. His heart clenched at your daughter's wish and he couldn't express how much he wishes the same.
“I understand you're scared that she's going to forget you, but that's not our Dasom. She has to know about Haechan, but that doesn't mean she's going to love you less.”
A sound of a door creaking halted Jeno from crying. Your daughter’s awake and is standing by the door, looking at Jeno confused. “Come here, baby,” Jeno called her and sat her on his lap. “Did you sleep well?”
“Were you crying?” She asked him and it made you laugh.
“It's because I missed you too much. You slept too long.”
Dasom hugged Jeno and rested her head on the crook of his neck. “I'm still sleepy but I'll just sleep here with you.”
“Never leave me okay?”
“Okay.” Dasom sleepily replied, making Jeno cry again. Quietly this time.
Nobody knows the way that I know her, said Nobody knows the weight that's on her shoulders, said Nobody knows the way that I know her, said She got it bad, she got it bad
That same night you dropped Dasom at your sister’s place to meet Haechan with Jeno. You arrived at the coffee shop and saw Haechan waiting for both of you. You saw his soul leave his body every time someone came in. Jeno held your hand to ease your nerves. Haechan stood up as soon as he saw you and politely gestured for both of you to sit down. His mouth opened a couple of times and looked like he was going to ask something. To your disappointment, you understood what he wanted to know. “I left her with my sister. She should be sleeping by now.” You calmly said.
He smiled, “Ahh. You're right. She should sleep more so she can grow taller.” He absentmindedly said.
“Haechan, this is Jeno, my boyfriend. Jeno, you already know Haechan.” Jeno offered his hand and Haechan enthusiastically took it. “I'm going to be straightforward with you. I don't like Dasom to know about you."
Haechan looked down with a sad smile. “I understand that and I couldn't blame you at all.”
“But Dasom deserves to know about you,” Jeno added, which made Haechan glance up.
“You're letting me see her?” He asked, eyes switching between you and Jeno.
You took a deep breath and you felt Jeno’s hand on your thigh. He really knows how to calm you down. “Yes, but you're not telling her anything yet and she’ll never be left alone with you.”
Haechan stood up and bowed deeply to both of you before sitting back down again, “It's more than I deserve, thank you y/n. And thank you Jeno for being there for her when I'm not.”
“I'll always be there for her even now when you're here,” Jeno replied genuinely.
The latter smiled, “Then I'm eternally grateful.”
And I don't care what they say about you baby They don't know what you've been through
Jeno has been very supportive of the decisions you made. Both of you met with Haechan a few times more before finally letting Dasom meet Haechan. You let Haechan plan everything and he was very eager to talk to you about it, he even asked Jeno to help him find a gift for his daughter and the other willingly helped.
Slowly, Jeno's fear of losing the two of you disappeared. He's just happy for Dasom to have another father figure in her life. You on the other hand are losing your shit for every day that passes by. Unable to think properly, fear and worry overshadow you. What if's are flooding your head. What if Haechan realizes he's still not ready for fatherhood? Should you introduce him as your friend first? What if he's planning on taking custody of your daughter?
You know most of it are just funny thoughts and he made it clear to you that he doesn't have any hidden agenda, but he showed intentions of helping you raise your daughter financially, you refused. Later you found out that he opened a savings account for Dasom’s college fund three years ago and has been putting money there continuously. That's when you started believing that Haechan is finally living up to his words and you cannot help but feel happy for your daughter.
“Hey, babe. Everything’s going to be fine.” Jeno stole a glance from you while you wait for Haechan at the parking lot of an amusement park.
“What's taking him so long?” You whispered harshly not wanting your daughter to hear you.
Jeno chuckled, “Babe we’re 15 minutes early and we literally just arrived.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and gave you a kiss on your cheek. “Calm down okay?”
“Are we not leaving the car, Uncle Jeno?” Your daughter asked from the back seat.
“We are, baby. We're just waiting for a friend.”
“I hope he won't take long.” She pouted and crossed her arms on her chest.
Jeno laughed, throwing his head back. “You really are your mother's daughter.”
Exactly 15 minutes later you received a call from Haechan that he’s at the ticketing booth all ready and waiting for the three of you. Haechan really stood out from the crowd not because of his good looks, but because of the bright pink shirt with a print of a cartoon pig he’s wearing. He keeps shifting his weight between his feet and his eyes are filtering the crowds, looking for three particular familiar faces.
“We’ve been waiting for you for 15 minutes Haechan.” You said in gritted teeth and went past him with your daughter in hand to get your own tickets.
“I'm actually an hour early, I was just waiting in the car. I don't want to text you guys that I'm already here because that may sound like I'm being impatient and I thought it might be hard to prepare with a toddler so I didn't want to make you feel like I'm rushing you guys.” Haechan rambled to Jeno.
Jeno chuckled, giving him a tap on his shoulder, “You're okay. She’s just worried, that's all.”
Haechan thanked him, Jeno’s words somehow made him feel a little better. Of course, he didn't expect other treatment from you other than pissed and he understands that. He’s just over the moon that he’s finally going to spend time with his daughter.
“Also, nice shirt. Dasom will love it.” Jeno added teasingly to Haechan before following you and Dasom to the entrance gate.
“Thanks, man. It’s custom made.” He replied wiggling his eyebrows playfully, making them both laugh.
It's been almost 30 minutes and you still haven't given Haechan a chance to bond with your daughter. You thought you were preparing her but the reality is, you're preparing yourself. This is a big change in her life and you’ve been having a last-minute crisis.
You were left with Haechan while watching Dasom ride a mini roller coaster with Jeno. The silence isn't awkward, but you felt him getting uneasy beside you. “Just say it, Lee.” You blurted.
“I'm sorry. I just really want to ride a roller coaster with her too.”
You took a deep sigh, “Haechan, come. Let's sit.” You sat down on the nearby picnic table and waited for him to follow you. “After that ride, we're going to tell her about you. I want her to spend this day with you knowing that she’s making a bond with her father, not just one of her mama’s friends. I want you to understand how big this day would impact a 3-year-old’s life. I need you to try your best to cooperate with me and let's try our best to make the situation less difficult for her to understand, okay?”
“Yeah sure okay what do you want me to do?”
“Didn’t I tell you just now? Are you not listening or are you not being serious at all?”
“No, I'm sorry. I'm serious. I just want to know what exactly you want me to do.”
“Try not to speak while I'm explaining things to her, but stay attentive. Watch how she reacts and be mindful. I don't want to give her a shock, it could traumatize her.”
“Traumatized.” He repeated absentmindedly, “We don't want that.”
You nodded, “Exactly.”
“Okay. All ears, hold off the tongue. Got it.” He answered smiling, probably trying to assure you something, but it definitely did not look like that. You only looked at him with desperation when you heard your daughter running to you and Jeno walking behind her.
“I want to ride it again!” Dasom exclaimed as she helped herself get seated beside you.
“Yes baby, you're going to ride it again but mama has to talk to you first. Is that okay?” You asked her and she looked at you confused but nodded nevertheless. You glance up to Jeno and he gave you a nod and mouthed 'It's going to be okay’
For the past weeks you have been practicing how to tell her that his father wants to meet her, but everything you've gone over in your head went down the drain now that you're in this moment.
“Baby, are you not wondering about your father?” You started.
“You mean uncle Jeno?” She asked that took you back. First, you look at Haechan who gave you a sad smile, then to your boyfriend who looked at you with concern.
Jeno walked to you and sat behind you. “I’m really happy that you see me as your father and I love you like my own. But you already had a daddy way before I came, even before you were born.”
“I had one?” She asked so innocently that all three of you moved to tears, especially Haechan, who's trying so hard not to make a noise, muffling his cries with both of his hands.
You sniffed, “Yes baby. You're so special that you have two! You have uncle Jeno,” You gestured to your back where Jeno is seated and he high-fived her. “and Haechan right behind you.” You pointed to her back where Haechan was at. His face is soaked with tears.
“Hi, Dasom. How are you?” He barely finished his sentence with all the crying he did. You know your daughter is not the kid who will get mad at someone and you didn't really expect her to fully understand the situation given her age, but you were so surprised when she hugged Haechan like she knew him for a long time.
“Where have you been?” She asked her cupping his face with her tiny hands. Haechan cried even harder, you had to smack your boyfriend when he couldn't hold off his laughter despite having his eyes pooled with his own tears.
“I'm sorry, I-i just. A-actually...” It was difficult for Haechan to explain the weight of what he did and he certainly doesn't have the intention of lying about the gravity of his mistakes, but he’s also unsure if it's the right time to tell her the full story. He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging for help. You cleared your throat and wiped your cheeks quickly before answering your daughter.
“Baby, he was not here because he went to a faraway place. Then he got lost on the way back, that's why he was gone for a long time.” You explained.
“But we're glad that he’s here now aren't we?” Jeno added making your daughter smile and nod before hugging Haechan once more.
Never have you expected this to be this easy, but finally, your heart is at ease. You’re aware that there would be serious questions she’s going to ask as he grows older, but for now, you enjoyed the sight of your daughter in the arms of her father.
It's already dinner time when you convinced the three of them to leave the amusement park. It's hard to raise a daughter and even harder when two other people are spoiling her.
“Mama, if Uncle Jeno is my dad and Uncle Haechan is also my dad, do I call them both daddy?” Your daughter asked quite loudly, gaining judging looks from the people in the restaurant.
Haechan noticed the stares and hushed murmurs around you. “Take a video so you can watch it again later.” He called out.
“There's an issue when there's no father. Still an issue with two fathers. Can't really please people these days.” Jeno added.
“Please do not engage with them in front of the young one.” You whispered smiling but your eyes were wide enough to make them stop. “Baby, you can call them both daddy if you like.” You answered.
“How about you call Uncle Jeno, papa. Just like how you call your mama, mama.” Haechan suggested.
“I like that. Is that okay with you?” Jeno asked your daughter.
Dasom nodded shyly. “Yes, papa.” And it's Jeno’s turn to cry this time.
Trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you
It's been 4 years since you hit rock bottom and your life has always been going great if not the best.
Your daughter’s family got bigger, Dasom finally had a cousin. Your sister and Taeil gave birth to a baby girl just a few months back and they wanted you to be her godmother. Dasom was also introduced to her grandparents for the first time. At first, you were skeptical, but you grew up with your grandmother and you wanted your daughter to create memories with her own grandparents. Haechan’s parents were very apologetic for what their son did, but you told them that it's now all in the past and that he's already forgiven.
Soon enough Haechan found himself a very sweet and kind girlfriend who clicked well with your daughter quite quickly. Sometimes, Dasom would even request for you to go out on a date with Jeno so she could spend the night at Haechan’s place and they were as excited as your daughter to have her over.
Speaking of Jeno, he finally graduated from business school and is preparing to take over his father’s company. You're very excited to finally see him at work every day. You thought you were going to have a problem working with Jeno, but you're glad that both of you were able to keep a professional relationship during work. However, Jeno promised you that he would always find time to eat lunch with you whether you're sharing a packed lunch in his office or in a fancy restaurant 30 minutes away from your workplace.
But today is the first time he’s breaking that promise.
“I'm really sorry babe. It's an important lunch meeting and I cannot miss it.” He explained over the phone, which he already did 10 minutes ago and 5 times more in texts.
You laughed, “Babe I already told you for the nth time that it's fine. I don't mind!”
He sighed, “But you're going to eat alone.” You could swear that you heard him pouting right now.
“I'm going to be alright. If you're so worried about me, I could just facetime Dasom."
“But she's at school babe.” He reminded you. You almost slapped your forehead.
“You're right. Just don't worry about me, I’m sure I can eat just fine. Uhm, hey can we talk later? I'm sorry but I'm quite packed right now.” You bid your goodbye and ended the call and went straight to work.
Little did you know Jeno was never in a business meeting, your daughter never went to school and he purposely gave you a ton of paperwork to do so he can execute his plan properly.
You finished your mountain of work later than usual. You normally leave work at 6 PM and you looked at your wrist to check if it's really two hours past that already. Jeno never came back from his business meeting and you immediately felt your chest tightened in worry. Immediately, you dialled his number but it only rang a few times and went to voicemail after. You were going to give him another call when Haechan’s name popped up on your screen.
“Hey y/n how ar-”
“Sorry I can't talk right now, Jeno left for lunch and he hasn't come back yet he's not even answering my call.”
“Calm down. I know where he is.” He said on the other line. You were confused as to why would Haechan know where your boyfriend was but he didn't let you voice out your question, “Meet us at the small bakeshop at the corner of 6th street and 10th avenue.”
You were going to speak but he hung up on you. That little shit. You instantly ran out of the building and took a cab. It's a 20-minute drive from your workplace to that bakeshop, but it only took the cab driver 10 minutes to bring you there when you offered to triple the amount you're going to pay him if he gets you there quickly. The neighbourhood is quiet and the bakeshop is relatively dark inside. You wondered if you're in the right place, Haechan can't be messing with you can he?
And I don't care what they say about you baby They don't know what you've been through Trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you
You gently pushed the door open and the lights on the floor leading to the patio of the store slowly lit up. A small woven basket is by the door and has a note telling you to bring it with you. Your heart is beating violently, your head is making assumptions of what's happening but you pushed it all aside and followed the trail of light.
You saw Haechan and his girlfriend at the beginning of the trail handing you a bag of cookies, you took it and put it in your basket after thanking them. Haechan winked at you and both of them gave you a heartfelt smile. You walked a little further and there your sister and Taeil were also holding out a bag of cookies with their daughter in her arms. As you walked further you meet important people in your life and they give you the same bag of cookies.
At the very end of the trail, you saw your daughter smiling at you also holding a bag of cookies, “Hi mama.” She greeted you.
“Hi, baby.” You replied, holding back your tears.
You felt someone tapped your shoulder and when you looked behind, the whole bakeshop lit up, and right in front of you stood the man you love. Tears are evident in his eyes, but joy defeats them. He held both of your hands,
“You were my very first friend and the only girl I've ever loved. Because of these cookies, I got to know the most beautiful girl I've ever had the chance to see. You told me I was the reason why you're living your second life, but you, you and Dasom gave me a meaningful one. I never thought I am capable of loving someone this much and it surprises me how much more I fall for you every day. I love you both so much that each passing day scares me that I might lose one of you, and today I'm going to make sure we're staying together for the rest of our lives.”
Jeno knelt down on one knee in front of you and took a red velvet box from his back pocket and opened it, revealing a beautiful diamond ring.
“Y/N, you are the reason for my happiness and the woman behind the man that I am today. I am lucky enough to be your boyfriend, can I be as lucky to be your husband?”
Hot tears are staining your cheeks, you couldn't even see him clearly. But in your heart, the answer is as clear as the night sky. You knelt down on both of your knees and hugged him tightly, digging your face on the crook of his neck. “Yes, Jeno. Yes.” You answered.
Everybody screamed and cheered. You pulled away so he could slip the ring on your finger and kissed you, both of you still kneeling on the floor. He rested his forehead on yours.
“I never cared what they said about you, none of them know what you’ve been through.” He whispered.
“All I need is you.” You mumbled before kissing him again. “And my daughter of course.” You added.
“Our daughter.” Jeno corrected.
She got a bad reputation She takes the long way home
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A/N: So this is the story that started the idea of making a Shawn Mendes playlist! I cannot believe I’m finally uploading my very first story today! Thank you to those who patiently waited and to you who finished reading this!! I feel like I have so much to say, but I literally cannot put my thoughts into words. Thank you again!!
Next Story: Qian Kun | Crazy
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ljxlj48 · a day ago
My duty, as princess
chapter 02
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Lee Jeno x fem reader
Preview, 01, 02
Genre: arranged marriage au!
Warnings: explicit language
Word Count: 5.7K
Authors Note: I feel like this chapter is kind of confusing so my bad for that.  Also I hope there’s someone that actually enjoys this story because idk what I’m really doing lol 
Finally, you laid in your bed, you finished getting the Na family settled. There was Lord Na, and his wife Lady Na. The lord was the brother of the queen, their parents also came. They insisted you call them grandfather Na and grandmother Na, instead of their names. Then Lord Na’s son, Na Jaemin. 
When escorting the Na family to their own personal chambers, there was a few minutes. A few minutes alone with the infamous Na Jaemin. The tales of Na Jaemin have made it around the palace more than once. As soon as the maids heard about the early arrival of the Na family, the talk was nonstop.
According to Fei and Mei, Na Jaemin was a ‘whore,’ a ‘flirt,’ the ultimate playboy. The paparazzi of Northcy would picture Jaemin with a different girl. There’s even the rumor that Jaemin doesn’t have a preference. When you saw him, his smile, the way he walked, how he talked, you understood. Jaemin always had his head tilted a little to the right, whenever you spoke, he made direct eye contact. It was captivating, memorizing, it made sense why men and women praised the ground he walked on. 
“You’re very beautiful, Princess,” Jaemin said to you when you escorted him to his chambers, “my cousin is a lucky man.” 
Those are the words that you thought about as you slept.  
Luncheon with grandmother Na, Lady Na, and the Queen, that is where you sat at the moment.  The middle of the palace’s private garden, wearing a peach tea length satin dress, across from Lady Na.  She wore a shin length straight skirt, that was a lavender color, a simple off-white straight neck lined blouse, tucked into her skirt. She kept her head down during the majority of the luncheon, refusing to look the Queen directly in the eye.  The queen never addressed Lady Na either, rather speaking to Grandmother Na.  
“Jaeyeon, this isn’t your wedding, allow the girl to speak,” Grandmother Na spoke in a scolding tone, looking at her daughter disapprovingly.  
“It’s quite alright grandmother Na,” you started off, unsure what else to say.  You preferred not to talk about the wedding at all, still hoping for a way out of this union. If by some miracle there was a way you could deny this. 
“Well, it is your wedding after all, you do have a say in this right?” Grandmother Na asked you, almost daring to say the truth. 
“Of course, Grandmother Na,” is what you opted to say, instead of ‘Of course not, if I had any say, this wouldn’t be happening, if I had a say I would not be here, if I had a say this would never have even been an option.’ I am not allowed a say; is what you thought to yourself.  
The queen had seemed to pick up on your discomfort of the topic, opting to change it.  “How is home, mother?” The Queen looked to her mother with what appeared to be hopeful eyes.  
“Home is just alright, Jennie has started a charity, the first event will take place just before the new year,” Grandmother Na said looking at Lady Na, her head remained lowered though.  
“This is the first I am hearing about this, I hope you didn’t plan to not invite me,” the Queen said, her voice sounding condescending as ever.  It was like Queen Jaeyeon was becoming a different person before your eyes. 
“Of course, you’re invited your majesty, I would never purposely leave you out,” Lady Na spoke, her eyes not meeting the queen’s.  It was obvious Queen Jaeyeon didn’t like her sister-in-law. 
“By my name, must you act so high and mighty, Na Jaeyeon,” Grandmother Na spoke out, the same scolding tone returning just much worse this time around.  “Jennie has done nothing but try to earn your approval, and nothing she ever does seems to meet the criteria.  Jennie was your lady-in-waiting for your wedding, she didn’t ask for anything during her wedding, she waited until after it was confirmed that you were pregnant to get pregnant, she has continued to do good work, while taking care of me and your father, as well as making your brother happy.  The least you can do is pretend to like her for one lunch.” Grandmother Na slammed her hands down on the table looking at her daughter furiously.  
After Grandmother Na finished her rant, the Queen was red in the face, the anger clearly evident.  Lady Na was the first to speak, after an overly extended amount of silence, “If you don’t mind, I shall excuse myself.” 
“No, we don’t mind,” Grandmother Na huffed out, her eyes still trained on Queen Jaeyeon, “my dear princess (y/n), please escort Lady Na back to her chambers,” Grandmother Na spoke now looking at you softly.  
“Of course.”
You and Lady Na walked towards the grand staircase, up to the second level, the majority of the bedrooms remained on that level. Lady Na kept her eyes trained on the floor, almost like a maid would.  The outfit she wore was too simple to be considered classy, it was too commoner like.  Her hands looked rough, like a laborer’s hands.  Her skin seemed aged, too dry in certain areas, and littered with sun spots.  It was all too clear, Lady Na didn’t come from a prominent family, she was a civilian.  
“I was a maid,” Lady Na spoke almost as if she could hear the revelation you made in your mind. “I worked for the Na family, I arrived at their house when I was 14.  My parents died in an accident, there was no money set aside for me, and the job of a maid comes with housing as well as food.  When I went to work, Joon was only 16, and I didn’t try to weasel my way into a better life.  I was content being a maid, I certainly wasn’t overjoyed with the idea of working, cleaning up after two spoiled brats, but I made peace with it.  I had a job, a way of making money, I had a place to sleep and I had food, I was content.  Me and Joon didn’t start getting close, until after Jaeyeon was engaged to the crown prince at the time.  She left home and Joon didn’t have his best friend, he turned to the maid that was there from before.  I didn’t seduce him to buy a ticket to an easy life, I love every part of my husband and no matter what Jaeyeon tells you.  Even if Joon had nothing, I would still love him.” Lady Na looked at you, she was tired, tired of trying to please an unpleasable woman, you feared you would become Lady Na.  Will you become tired of trying to please Queen Jaeyeon? 
By the time Lady Na finished you were already outside of her chamber doors.  “I apologize for my outburst, you didn’t deserve that,” she spoke to you, before you could even think of a response, she was already shutting the door.  Leaving you to your thoughts, a maid has married the brother of the queen, that must’ve made quite the headline for the papers and evening news.  
Slowly make your way to your bedroom, it seemed as if now you never saw Fei or Mei.  The two of them often moved in silence, seemingly coming out of the shadows when you needed them.  They were nearby though, you could feel their presence, it was close.  As you neared, it looked as if someone was waiting by your door.  It most definitely wasn’t your two guards, it seemed like even Chan and Hyunjin got busy, leaving you more lonely than ever in a palace full of people. 
It was Jaemin, Jaemin stood outside of your doors, hands behind his back looking towards the ceiling.  “Something interesting up there?” you asked standing next to Jaemin now looking at the ceiling.  
“Ah princess, I was wondering if I could have a private word with you?” Jaemin asked, looking at you, with the head tilt and direct eye contact.  
“What would you like to discuss?” 
“Privately please,” Jaemin said, gesturing towards your doors.  He wore white tight pants, with black boots that went over his pants, and a long sleeved button up tucked in.  A pair of black gloves in one hand, he must’ve just finished a horse ride.  ‘Me and Jaemin are racing tomorrow morning,’ that’s what Jeno said the night before at dinner.  
“Very well”
Jaemin and you sat at the table placed in front of the large window.  Fei had brought in a fresh brewed tea, shortly after she saw you entered your room, you knew they were close, hiding in the shadows, waiting for you to call them out.  Jaemin sipped his tea admiring the view of the courtyard, his head tilting side to side often.  
“Do you want to marry Jeno?” Jaemin blurted out, now looking at you.  No, Jaemin’s gaze was reaching deeper, he wasn’t looking at you, but looking into you, into your soul, your heart of hearts.  “I am asking you as the cousin of your fiance, and I want you to answer me as my cousin’s fiance.  Not Princess (y/n) of the Modia Kingdom, but just (y/n).” 
Jaemin was asking you, the person you, not the princess you, he was asking just you.  He was asking you if you wanted to marry Jeno.  The answer was quite simple without the titles. “No, I do not want to marry Jeno.” 
“Alright, I’ll make the arrangements,” Jaemin said, getting up from his seat making his way out of your chambers. 
“Excuse me? Arrangements? What are you talking about?” You asked as you stood to follow Jaemin.  
“My cousin doesn’t want to be married and neither do you, so I will make arrangements to get you out of this palace and on a flight back home in one week. We shall be in contact, Princess.” Jaemin said exiting the room leaving you in utter shock.  Can Jaemin possibly do that? Have you, on a plane back home in a week? I mean you could get yourself on a plane back home, it’s not like anyone was holding you hostage. 
Before the arrival of the Na Family days bled into each other, meetings always seemed to overlap. Now that the Na family was here it seemed as if the days dragged on longer and longer. Your lunchtime was always with a new different person, of the Na family. 
Lunch with grandmother Na, was filled with stories from Jeno and Jaemin's childhood, apparently those two were thick as thieves. Always running around the palace pulling absurd pranks and just causing trouble, and Haechan played with them often.  
Lunch with Lady Na, was more filled with advice on what to do after the wedding. How to act, talk, walk, dress around the family. You felt pity for Lady Na, she never lived up to the expectations, and all she wanted was to feel like she belonged to the family. 
Grandfather Na, told stories of his time in the war. Lunch with him was the most unbearable. He spoke of his triumphs, the battles he won, the people he’s killed. Your people, the men and women you sworn to protect, the people that willingly gave their life to defend. By the time lunch was over with Grandfather Na, you felt sick to your stomach, tears flowed freely down your face. You even refused to go down for dinner, unable to sit and dine with that man. Rumor has it grandmother Na gave scolding to him, but the words were already spoken. 
Lunch with Jaemin was filled with the plan to get you out of the country. You were to leave the palace at midnight, and drive to a private airstrip, owned by Lord Huang, whom apparently owed Jaemin a favored. There you would board a private plane that will fly to Teraha. In Teraha, you would spend a year traveling across the country eventually crossing the border into Modia. By that time the union between you and Jeno will have been dissolved and you would no longer be “missing.” 
“It’s perfect Princess, you would have been missing from Northcy for an entire year, there’s no way they would hold you to a year old union. And if you’re unsure, you could always extend your missing period,” Jaemin said, certain his plan would work, “if I didn’t believe in this plan myself I wouldn’t have suggested it, your highness.” 
“Are you sure Jaemin?”
“Of course I am Princess. The biggest issue isn’t what to do when you left the country, it’s how to leave the country unseen. Luckily for you, I can provide passage out of the country undetected.”
Jaemin’s plan left you wondering, could you really escape? Leave this unwanted marriage? Have freedom? No one said you had to be “found,” you could pull out enough cash and exchange it for Teraha currency, to at least start a life there. There’s no doubt that as soon as you left Northcy, you could survive and not have to go back. 
The day finally came. That morning, after Fei and Mei helped you dress, you made your way to breakfast with Lady Na, Grandmother Na, and the Queen. There was more talk of wedding arrangements and guest seating. The conversation seemingly dwelling on and on, you weren’t taking much interest in it. 
You stared at Lady Na, she was perfect in every way. The private luncheon with her, she acted as one should, she was respectful when speaking about every member of the family, she never said anything outrageous and chose all her words carefully. Even here at breakfast, she acted merely perfectly, her eyes trained downward, not to make direct contact with anyone unless warranted, she didn’t speak unless spoken to, you wouldn’t even notice she was here. You wondered, is this how it would be as Jeno’s wife? Would I be expected to be perfect? You thought and Jaemin’s plans became insatiably tempting. The idea of running far far away, living freely. 
You had to tell Chan, tell him of your plans. Tell him where to meet you. Of course you both couldn’t disappear together, they would know if you did. You would go, run away and live freely. Then after setting up a life, you would write to Chan, under a name only he would know. He would join you and you guys would be free, free to live happily ever after.  It seemed all too simple, too easy.  
Finally the sun set, and you were back in your private chambers. You sent Mei and Fei away for the night already. You slipped a note to Chan, explaining you needed him for a midnight escapade. Chan was to meet you at the back garage of the palace, at exactly 10 to midnight. 
You grabbed a leather duffel bag out of the closet, throwing in a week’s worth of clothes inside. Along with certain necessities needed.  Changing out of pajamas, into something warmer and more appropriate for a midnight escape. 
Earlier  in the day Jaemin slipped a note into your chambers explaining the route to the airstrip. Note in one hand and bag in the other you made your way down to the garage, and already there Chan was. He was in casual clothing, a pair of dark blue jeans, a regular hoodie with a leather jacket thrown over. 
“What is this midnight escapade, you have me going on?” He asked, looking you up and down. 
“I’ll explain, first get in” 
The two of you got in the car, you driving and him riding passenger. Chan thought back to summer nights in Modia, you were restless some nights. So Chan would sneak you out of the palace and take you to car meets that he and some of his friends would attend. That’s where you first learn to drive, where you first did a street race, where you first ran away from the police. You were a different person in Modia, a different person before the third letter. 
As you finished explaining what was going on you pulled up to the airstrip. “My princess, are you sure about this?” Chan asked you, as you both got out of the car to exchange seats. “I wouldn’t see this version of you doing this,” he came to your side of the car, as you stood right outside the door. In Modia, you were reckless, carefree, never one for following the rules. 
“I was sure, but being here, I don’t know anymore,” you said, honestly, you were those things, but you’re not anymore.  It was like when you go out and then all of a sudden life is drained from you and you just wanna curl up in bed. You were so excited, almost jumping out of your seat during lunch with Lord Na today, just aching to escape and be gone. You were prepared, ready for a new life. But now, being here, Jaemin and the plane ready to take you away in front of you, you weren’t so certain. 
“Whatever choice you make, my princess, you shall always have my support,” Chan offers with a genuine smile and knowing eyes. Unable to form words of gratitude, a simple nod being all you could manage. 
You made your way to Jaemin, stopping right in front of him. “Are you ready princess? Lidia will meet you when you land, she’ll get you situated in Teraha, with identification to help you get around the country. Teraha has been neutral territory since the start of the war, so there’s no need to worry if someone picks up on your accent.” 
“I can’t,” you start off, Jaemin’s mention of the war throws you back to reality. This marriage, this union between you and Jeno was ending a century old war. How could you be so selfish, you thought to yourself. The alliance being freshly formed, there’s no telling what would happen if you were to disappear. Northcy could declare war on Modia for not honoring the union, Modia could declare war for losing the only heir. Mother and father would be absolutely devastated, they would think they lost all of their children. Not to mention, your responsibilities, your people, your country. How could you ever think to turn your back on them? 
“I’m sorry Jaemin, I know this must’ve been a lot of work for you, but I can’t. I can’t run away from my responsibilities,” you said to the boy in front of you. He looked confused, like he didn’t understand the words coming out of your mouth. 
“You’re gonna marry Prince Jeno, princess?” 
“I am… it’s my responsibility to my people,” you said with a sigh. 
“You will be an unhappy princess,” Jaemin said with a firm look, he didn’t agree with your decision. “You will be alone, in a marriage with a man you don’t love. Your maids and guards will be sent back to Modia, you will have no one. You will be unhappy.” 
“Yes,” you breathed, pausing, unsure how to continue, “yes I will be unhappy, but isn’t it worth it? My unhappiness for thousands of lives? I will be unhappy and alone in Northcy, but I will save thousands of people, my people…  it is worth it to me.`` You turned and began to walk away from Jaemin back to the car where Chan sat waiting to see your decision. 
When you got in the car, the tears flowed freely, never stopping the entire ride to the palace. Chan placed one hand on your thigh and another on the driving wheel. You thought, there it goes. You've done it yourself, you have nailed your coffin shut. There was no turning back now. 
“I'm proud of you, my princess,” Chan said, pulling your hand to his lips, placing a chaste kiss. 
Jaemin stood there watching the car the princess got into drive away back towards the palace. Pulling the walkie-talkie, from the back of his pants. Bringing it up to his lips, pressing the button speaking into the mic. “Stand down, guard.” 
Jaemin was never gonna let the princess get away. There were palace guards on board the plane, waiting for the princesss to enter.  That was the plan, entice the princess with the idea of escaping the impending marriage. Allow her a way to get out of the country and when she boards the plane, palace guards will be there to restrain her and the union would have been broken. She would have been caught trying to willingly escape, going back on the union, allowing Northcy to invade the rest of Modia. 
Jaemin wanted the princess to turn his proposition away, but he wasn’t hopeful for it. Nevertheless, Jaemin left the airstrip glad you turned him away, glad that you wouldn’t be held prisoner in Northcy, glad that you were going back. 
Jeno paced his room back and forth awaiting news, the idea of catching the princess trying to escape was Jeno’s idea.  Jeno didn’t want to rule Northcy, he didn’t want to get married, so if the princess was caught trying to escape and go back on the union, that would throw his father for a loop.  The union would be postponed, alliances would have to be renegotiated, Northcy wouldn’t enter a time of peace and his father would stay on the throne. The ringing of Jeno’s phone pulled him from his thoughts.  A picture of Jeno and Jaemin appeared on the screen, it was from a ski trip a few years back.
“Hello? Jaems, is she on the plane?” Jeno spoke into the phone. 
“You owe me 10 mons dear cousin,”  Jaemin replied 
“You’re kidding right? She didn’t get on? Did you tell her she was gonna be unhappy here?”
“I did, and she said it was worth it.  Her unhappiness was worth thousands of lives, thousands of her people’s lives”
Jeno ended the conversation there, opting for a quick telling him to return to the palace and make sure no one knows of this.  Jeno didn’t like the princess, not one bit, but he sure as hell respected her. He respected the decision she made, the responsibilities she took on, the role she lives.  Jeno wasn’t planning on making this marriage work, but he decided that he wasn’t gonna make life difficult for the princess.  Jeno sat on his bed and thought to himself, ‘whatever, whomever, she wants, she will have, all she need do is ask.’ 
The next morning came, your head aching from all the crying you did.  You remembered laying in Chan’s arms crying as you two laid in bed, unsure of when you stopped or when you fell asleep.  Chan wasn’t in your bed anymore and it was probably best he wasn’t, but that didn’t mean you didn’t wish him in your bed.  Fei and Mei made their way in your room, helping you dress, they ignored your puffy eyes and pale look, but you knew that they knew.  To anyone else nothing seems out of the ordinary, but you knew better, you knew Fei and Mei, you knew that they knew.  
You had breakfast privately in your own chambers, grateful that no one called you down to eat.  You wanted to do nothing but hide away in your chambers, curl into bed and watch the world around you fall into a black abyss.  You pushed the food around, unable to bring the fork up to your mouth, nothing seeming to appeal to you.  
“Take it away,” you said to Mei as she stood in the corner watching you with sad eyes, Fei just joined her side, having finished setting the bed. 
“Yes, your highness,” as mei made her way to clean up your plate, there was a knock at your door. 
“Send them away, I don’t wish to see anyone right now,” you said with a dead look. 
“Yes, your highness,” Fei answered, she gave Mei a worried look, this was how the princess acted when the third letter came home. Mei quickly shook her head.  Fei made her way to the door and opened it to see Prince Jeno standing on the other side. Mei quickly made her way past Fei carrying the tray of food out the door. 
“Oh perfect, the princess finished breakfast already,” Jeno said, pushing his way past Fei into your chambers.  You stood against the windows looking down onto the courtyard, there were children down there playing, they were servants' children.  “Princess?” 
You turned around to see Jeno standing there, with hopeful eyes.  You didn’t have the energy for this, you needed time to mourn the loss of a what if life. “Fei, I said I didn’t want to see anyone right now.”
“I apologize, your highness.”
“I am sorry Prince Jeno, but now isn’t a good time,” Jeno looked at you utterly confused, you weren’t doing anything, why would this be a bad time? 
“Fei, leave us,” Jeno said with authority laced in his voice. 
“Yes, your highness,” now it was your turn to look confused, your maids never took orders from Jeno, they always looked for your approval before acting, but Fei quickly made her way to the door not even sparring you a second glance. 
“Princess, what is the issue?” Jeno asked, taking a stride to close the gap between you two.  
“Your highness, I am completely fine, there is no issue, now is just not a good time,” Jeno showed lots of emotion in his eyes, but so did you.  For royals trained to not allow anyone TO know what they thought, the eyes gave both you and your fiance away. 
“I do not believe that princess, would you like to try again?” Jeno was intimidating standing so close to you. You looked away not wishing to meet his gaze. 
“Jeno please,” you sighed, not wanting to do this right now.  
“Alright princess, but I need you to follow me”
“Why?” you asked, Jeno ignored your question, grabbing your hand lacing your fingers together pulling you out of the room.  Taken aback you stared at your hand laced together with Jeno’s, it was odd how the two fit so perfectly together, almost made for each other.  
As the two of you left your chambers, Chan and Hyunjin stared at you two, unsure if they should follow. After a moment they both followed you and the Prince, Chan looked down to your hand, his heart hurting at the sight.  Jeno had pulled you into his own private chambers, that was down the hall from your own.  Chan and Hyunjin stopped and posted guard outside the door, the ache in Chan’s heart growing as each second passed on.  
Jeno’s private chambers were similar to your own but larger and darker.  The walls were painted a dark gary, there was a balcony, the floor was littered with books here and there.  There was a couch in the middle, across the wall held a TV as well as what looked to be several game consoles. Spoiled you thought to yourself, the prince had many toys to keep himself occupied.  In between the couch and tv there sat a nice wood coffee table, on top a large package.  Jeno gestured towards the package, “for you,” was all he said.  
You took a step closely examining the package, it was a puppy.  A small doberman puppy, shock all too evident on your face.  You picked up the small gleaming puppy and held, what you assumed a he, close to your chest, petting him. “Hi there, do you have a name?” you asked looking for a dog tag on the collar.  “What is the meaning of this?” you said looking towards Jeno, the dead look no longer present. 
“I heard you had a dog, back home in Modia.  This won’t ever be home for you princess, but I hope this gift can offer some semblance of home,” Jeno said looking straight into you, just as Jaemin did only a little over a week ago. “You can name him what you want, it is a boy,” Jeno said, confirming your suspicions.  
“Thank you Jeno,” you said, although your dog back home wasn’t a dobermann, it was the idea that Jeno tried to make this new place a little homey that warmed your heart.  Now turning to look at the puppy in your arms, “What should we call you boy? Does your dad have any suggestions?” you asked, turning to look at Jeno not realizing what you said. 
Jeno looked at you shocked, quickly recovering, “I don’t know, what about gae?” 
“No, no, ilio?” you suggested. 
“No way, inu?” 
“No,” you gave Jeno a disgusted look, “it needs to be a strong name,” you said as you sat down on the couch placing the puppy on your lap, Jeno sitting next to you petting the puppy. 
“King?” Jeno suggested with a chuckle 
“Sarge?” Jeno grimaced at your suggestion 
“Hades,” Jeno said, looking at the dog, it was no longer a suggestion. 
“Hades,” you repeated, have chosen a name for the doberman puppy that sat in your lap.  You and Jeno spent the rest of your morning in his chambers playing with the dog.  He got the dog plenty of toys to play with and plenty of doggy treats as well.  Apparently Jeno left the place early this morning and went down to the city to get the puppy and all his stuff.  After hours of you and Jeno playing with the dog, the dead look has left your eyes long ago, you thought maybe this union wouldn’t be as bad as you imagined. 
You laid on the couch, the puppy curled up next to you taking a nap, your eyes felt heavy as well. Jeno sat on the floor, back against the couch, there was a movie playing on the tv, too tired to try to pay attention.  Jeno looked over his shoulder looking at the puppy curled next to you, hoping that this would be enough for you for right now.  There was a knock at the door, pulling Jeno from his thoughts and to his feets.  The knock startled you awake, now sitting up, Jeno sparring you a glance to make sure you were alright for a guest. 
“Come in,” Jeno’s voice was cold, calculated, borderline strained. 
The door pushed open to reveal Jaemin and Haechan, the two making their way into the room. Jaemin dressed simply wearing jeans and some sneakers, with a hoodie on top. Haechan dressed a little more formal, having jeans, with sneakers but instead of a hoodie, he wore a nice dress shirt.  “What is going on here?” Haechan asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 
“Jeno,” You started, stopping to correct your mistake, “Prince Jeno, gave me a very generous gift,” you slightly bowed your head showing the dog to the two others. 
“(y/n), relax it’s just us no need to be so formal,” Jaemin offered with a smirk, the head tilted to the right and the direct eye contact.  Heat rising up Jeno’s spine at his cousin’s blatant flirting. 
“What do you two need?” Jeno’s question comes out a bit too rough, even causing you to slightly flinch at the tone. 
Jaemin smirked clearly seeing the effect his flirting has, “We just came up wondering where you were, you didn’t attend breakfast this morning and you already missed lunch with the General, he wanted to see you, considering he won't be back until the wedding.” 
“What time is it?” Jeno asked, looking for a clock frantically. 
“He left already, he assumed you were upset about what he said at yesterday’s outing,” Haechan responded to Jeno. 
“Damn it,” Was all Jeno said as he ran a hand over his face, not realizing he missed seeing his brother off.  Jeno then turned to you, “I’m sorry princess, I must leave you now, please feel free to stay as long as you please.” All you could do was shake your head no, trying to tell Jeno not to worry about you. Jeno walked to the door, Haechan offered a small smile and a wave, whild Jaemin shoved his hands in his pockets and gave you a knowing smirk. The three of them exit the room, leaving you and Hades alone. 
You looked around the room, this was the first time you were ever in Jeno’s room. His room held some semblance of personality, there was a desk in front of the balcony doors, and a trophy case on one side of the room next to the double doors that opened up to the sleeping area. Jeno’s desk held a framed picture of him and his brothers and another framed picture of him and a girl. She was stunningly beautiful, shorter than the Prince, with long sleek raven colored hair. Her figure was thin but she had a nice tanned complexion. It was like everything you wanted to look like embodied into one person, her. 
You didn’t even know this girl and already you didn’t like her, you didn’t like that she was everything you wanted to be. You didn’t like that her picture sat on Jeno’s desk. You didn’t like that Jeno looked at her and not you when he worked. What is wrong with you, you thought. Why do you care, why are you so jealous, the question coming to mind. Realizing that there was seriously no reason to not like this girl. 
“Gosh (y/n) get a hold of yourself, you don’t even like him,” you muttered to yourself moving away from the pictures to the paperwork on the desk.  There was a document that caught your eye. ‘Accommodations for the Modia Princess’ the top line read. You scanned the paper, it was a list of accommodations that needed to be made to ensure your comfort here in Northcy. It wasn’t until you reached the bottom of the Document that you were seriously confused. The document was written by the Prince, and was awaiting approval from the queen. 
“Why would he make a list of things for me?” You muttered again to yourself. Hades coming to your legs to paw at your feet. You picked up the dog holding him against your chest. “Aren’t you a spoiled boy? Yes, yes you are,” you spoke in the baby voice to the dog. “Let’s go take you for a walk.” 
You went to the basket that sat on the coffee tables filled with all of Hades’ things. Finding a leash, you attach it to the dog's collar, exiting the room. There you found Chan and Hyunjin standing guard. “Look at my new gift,” you told the two. 
“Very nice, princess,” Hyunjin said to you.  You walked, Chan and Hyunjin were on your trail and you walked the palace halls, letting the puppy see everything.
42 notes · View notes
127cloud · a month ago
69 Places to Have Sex | Lee Jeno
paring: jeno x f!reader 
genre: smut….. self-indulgent filth if you will
word count: 3.5k  
warnings: explicit smut, a couple with a very spontaneous sex life and a boyfriend with a bucket list of places to have sex, dom!jeno, inexperenced!reader, fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, overstimulation, slight mutual masturbation, rough sex, hair pulling, spit kink, oral sex (f receiving), spanking, non idol!jeno, dirty talk, seduction, manhandling, etablished relationship!au, semi public, parents house kink, daddy kink, slight degradation, exhibitionist!jeno, explicit language, bucket list sex places!au, just pure filth.
a/n: this going to be a three part series, if you want to be added to the taglist send me an ask or reply to this post ♡
part one. part three.
summary: He was about to dive back in for your mouth, but you successfully held his jaw so he couldn’t move in any further, leaving your lips only inches apart. “Your sister’s down the hall.” You whispered against his mouth. “Behave.” He groaned in disapproval of you trying to reject him before speaking again, “She’s not gonna come in here.” 
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Letting out a much needed yawn, you gently dumped all of of the damp laundry that you had so graciously volunteered to do in the dryer before you. It was almost five in the morning and you were counting down the minutes until you could finally be on your way to your designated bedroom, to finally go to sleep for the night. You were completely exhausted as everyone kept you up all night, telling you hilarious stories about Jeno’s childhood that he’s always apparently been a little too embarrassed to tell you. 
You let out another yawn, rubbing your eyes softly as you set the lid down and turned to knob to the highest heat setting. Once you pushed the button to start the dryer, you felt a hand on the small of your back which caused you to jolt slightly before turning around to see Jeno. His eyes were dark and full with lust, his hair was messy and his lips were wet and swollen, almost as if he’s been licking and biting them for some reason.
All in all, he looked like he was ready to ravish and ravage you senseless, as he trapped you against the dryer, his arms on either side of your body. 
“Fuck,” you cursed, “Baby, what the fuck, you scared the shit out of me.” You hissed quietly, placing a hand on your chest to try to calm yourself down.
His eyes were boring into your soul as if you were breakfast, lunch and dinner all in one and you knew why he looked so…well, ‘ready’, and of course it had been your fault that he felt this way. All day, in between the long conversations you’ve had with his family and other few family members that came to visit, you had somehow always managed to rub against him just the right way or touch him in places he couldn’t stand unless you were alone.
In the back of your mind, you knew what you were doing to him, but in all honestly you didn’t give it any thought until a couple of hours after actually doing all of it. At least his family didn’t seem to notice though.
He even told you before you came up here not to be too touchy touchy with him because he knew with everyone here, he’d have that, ‘let’s do it right here and right now because it’s naughty’ attitude. 
Like you even have to mention the kitchen incident… 
Thinking about it made you bite your lip and it wasn’t until you could see that that attitude written all over his face as he stared down at you too that you felt yourself dripping, wanting him as bad as he wanted you. You brushed those dirty thought off and reminded yourself how risky it would to take him right then and there in the laundry room, but your boyfriend had other plans.
“Y/N,” he moaned just before brushing his growing erection against your thigh. “I need you now, baby.” Just the way he said your name caused your head to start spinning. 
You almost forgot where you were for a second, but it quickly came back to you after remembering his parents’ number one rule: NO PDA. You weren’t even allowed to sleep in the same room, although you knew they fully supported your relationship, they most likely didn’t want to hear you screaming and whimpering their sons name through the walls while you were staying with them. 
“Jeno,” You moaned back after he plopped you down on the warm dryer, trying to push him away by the shoulders, but his lips were already attached to your neck as if he was trying to draw blood. “Stop, we c…can’t…” You muttered, but let it falter into another light moan as he pulled your thighs to the edge of the dryer and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist so you wouldn’t fall, feeling him graphically through the thin boxers he was wearing and through the equally thin boy shorts you were wearing. 
Finally pulling his lips away from your neck, he looked back down at you through half-lidded eyes. “No Y/N, you’ve been teasing me all day…I need you.” He nearly whispered. “Right now....You turn me on so much baby girl.” He muttered, sighing as you wrapped your hands around his neck, tugging at his hair lightly. “You’re turned on too, I know it.” He was about to dive back in for your mouth, but you successfully held his jaw so he couldn’t move in any further, leaving your lips only inches apart. “Your sister’s down the hall.” You whispered against his mouth. “Behave.”
He groaned in disapproval of you trying to reject him before speaking again, “She’s not gonna come in here,” he said, referring to the roomy laundry room you were in at the moment. He tried pushing against your hand again, but you held him away. 
“But the door doesn’t have a lock, what if she—“ you tried speaking, but he cut you off with a powerful kiss, clearly fed up with talking.
You couldn’t help but to lean into him as your fingers knotted themselves into his hair, causing a rough growl to erupt deep in his chest as you kissed him back as eagerly. Suddenly, you had an idea and pushed him away before trying to talk, but of course, with him being as eager as he was, he grabbed the back of your neck and forced your lips against his again before you opened your mouth in a gasp and involuntarily let his tongue through. You felt your heart pounding as you lost your train of thought once again. He always had that affect on you. You felt his hands running down from your neck to your breasts, kneading them through your shirt before grabbing your waist as your tongues battled for survival it seemed, but soon you remembered what you had to do just moments after you continued. 
You pushed him away again, only this time you slipped off of the dryer before he could catch you and hurried to the door. You heard him grunt in disapproval again, thinking you weren’t up for the risk, before you wedged a small ironing board underneath the door knob and turned back around to face him.
He was still staring while breathing heavily and you smirked, silently assuring him that you were going to do what he wanted to do as you ran your hands up the hem of your shirt, giving him a little peak. 
You couldn’t just leave him like this. It would be physically impossible for you. He was so hot, especially right now, and you never wanted anyone to fuck you more than you want him to.
His eyes followed your hand as it made a trail up your stomach from beneath his white button up that you almost always wore to bed. He bit his lips, muttering a quiet ‘fuck’, as he stared at you as if you were a goddess. To him, you were the sexiest woman on earth despite being so inexperienced and he loved seeing you being a slut for him, and only him.
Enjoying watching his hungry eyes, you brought your hand back down and to the front of the shirt, all the way up to the first button.
You watched as he leaned against the dryer and began touching himself, palming his hard bulge through his black Calvin’s, letting you see the outline of his huge dick as he massaged it roughly. 
You had to swallow back your own moan as you spoke his name and he looked up, “Don’t,” you muttered, wanting him to last for you. “I wanna be the one who makes you cum,” you slurred.
Jeno was sure that was the hottest thing he ever heard and he had to listen, because you had him wrapped around his finger. “Okay, sweetheart,” he moaned, tearing his hand away from his cock as he continued to watch you, obviously it was hard for him to as you could tell he was in a little pain by this point, but you tried not to care as you continued to slowly unbutton the fourth button on your shirt.
You were surprised both of you kept your cool until you came to the last button and your shirt came open to reveal your bare chest, much to his delight as you’ve lost too many good shirts to count on hand for being too slow, but Jeno seemed to want to cooperate tonight. Probably because he knew you were taking a big risk, knowing anyone could come at any time and see you practically out in the open. There were no tables to hide under and you couldn’t hear anything over the loud dryer in the corner. 
Leaning back against the wall behind you, you let out a breath you had been holding in for too long as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, the heat probably getting to him. The moment he threw it on the ground and stuck his thumbs into his boxers to get ready to take them off, your roles became reversed as you ran a hand over your stomach to sink your fingers into your shorts, touching yourself. 
“Fuck,” you moaned as you rubbed your clit experimentally, feeling your own wetness to the image of Jeno’s long, hard cock springing free from his boxers for a few agonising seconds, you let out another soft moan before he caught sight of you and spoke, “Stop that.” He ordered, making you stop just as you made him stop before his Calvin’s were finally gone. 
He tugged you over to him by your wrist before you could even think of ridding yourself of your own shorts, smirking dangerously for a split second and you knew whatever he was planning on doing was probably going to drive you fucking insane so you simply braced yourself.
Once his smile was gone, he stuck the three fingers you had just used on yourself into his mouth and you let out a soft moan at the feeling of his tongue tasting your juices. “That’s so sexy,” you whimpered. “You make me insane.” His body felt hard against yours and you just wanted him to destroy you. After your fingers fell from his mouth, he pulled you into him and you started to devour each other once again, getting even more excited at the taste of yourself on his tongue. Jeno deepened the kiss, his tongue swirling around my mouth and you couldn’t help but moan into the kiss as you felt a shiver run down your spine, and somehow end up in your aching core.
Feeling your ass suddenly come into contact with the warm dryer that now felt hot against your bare skin, you realized that Jeno was struggling to pull your shorts off while keeping his lips against yours. Pulling your lips from his, he began kissing a trail down the front of your body, moaning as he passed your collar bone and flicked your right nipple with his tongue as you fisted his dark mess of hair.
He pulled on it with his teeth and continued to suck and play with it until you were a moaning mess. He gave the other one the same amount of attention before coming to your belly button while slipping your shorts down at the same time, groaning in appreciation of you deciding not to wear any underwear to bed just as he threw your shorts to the side and his mouth came in contact with your heat. 
You licked your lips just as he lifted your left leg over his shoulder and started on your lower half. Giving it a few soft and delicate kisses before running his tongue along your entire slit, you shuddered as he came to your clit, his tongue dug at it roughly, contrasting to how careful he was being before and gripped his hair tighter as you shook. 
“Baby, your pussy tastes so good…” he hummed against your clit, your juices dribbling down his chin. You nearly yelled out a moan at the sensations as your lip quivered, and you let go of his head to hold onto the dryer behind you for dear life.
“Oh my god,” you whimpered. “Fuck, you’re so good at this.” He pushed his tongue inside of you a few times before running it all the way up to your clit one last time, never forgetting to dig at it as he just discovered you liked, and ended it all with a slow, yet powerful suck. You heard his lips pop as your stomach muscles contracted and just like that, you couldn’t feel him anymore. Bringing your head up from leaning back in pure ecstasy, you looked down at him to see him staring back up at you, your juices all over his lips. He stood up and you tried to catch his lips, but he gripped your chin and spat in your mouth and smirked when you moaned and gasped at the dirty sensation. If that wasn’t the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced, you didn’t know what was. He turned you around, pushing you against the dryer and you didn’t complain, you wanted it just as bad as he did now.
You bent over the dryer yourself and almost immediately felt the tip of his cock at your pussy. How he had so much self control today, you’ll never know, because you were almost at your breaking point yourself. 
He teased you, rubbing it against your clit, stimulating it, as you clawed harshly at the dryer, unable to take any more of this, “Jeno… Fuck me.” You said, it was nearly a growl, not caring about sounding needy nor the blush that collected on your cheeks. You wanted him so bad.
You could hear him moaning as he continued to rub his swollen head against your equally swollen nub before he paused, “Oh, now you want me to fuck you?” He questioned, his fingers tangled themselves in your hair, pulling it in a makeshift ponytail and pulling your head back roughly so you could look at him.
He wasn’t holding your head in place as tight as he could be so you nodded, which didn’t satisfy him, “Tell me, baby. Tell me what you want.” He groaned, his words slurred together, still thrusting his hips against your behind as he slowly brought his hips back until only his tip was inside your center. 
“God Jeno, fuck me…fuck me now.” You nearly screamed and it was a good thing that the dryer was still going, because if anyone heard you over it, which you highly doubted, they probably wouldn’t have understood anything you were saying. “Please daddy, I’ve been so good to you, please fuck me.”
You didn’t have to tell him twice as he rammed his thick dick inside of you as far as he could, causing you both to groan loudly, “Fuck yes,” He moaned with a whine, “I’ve been thinking about this ah…all day.”
“Daddy, that feels so good,” you whimpered. He let out an animalistic moan at you calling him daddy, you knew he loved it.
“Yeah?” He bent you back over so he could thrust deeper and you grabbed onto the other edge of the dryer, letting your mouth hang open, trying not to scream again as he drilled you into the dryer. “You like it when daddy fucks you dumb? Like the cockslut you are?”
“Mmmh I love it, daddy,” you bit your lip as you felt his fingers pulling you away from the dryer slightly so he could slip up to get a hold on your throat, sharply cutting off your needy moan as he choked you. “D…daddy,” you gasped, letting your eyes half close.
“Fuck, baby.” He moaned, snapping his hips harshly into yours, a loud slap echoing through the laundry room. “You feel so good….shit, so warm and wet and all mine.” You forced your eyes open and looked back at him, seeing his cheeks flushed, his hair all messy and his breathing labored. He looked so hot and he was all yours.
Just as you were moaning out, trying to say something back, he asked, “You’re mine baby girl, aren’t you?” His grip on your throat tightened as he fucked you senseless and you couldn’t help the profanities that spilled from your mouth as he repeated the movement again and again until you were both moaning messes. 
“Yes! Fuck yes, Jeno…I’m all yours.” You screamed loudly. “Please… right th- fuck right there.”
“Yeah, baby?” He sped up his thrusting if that was even possible, “Right here?” He teased you as your mouth fell open as your vision went fuzzy. “Tell daddy how much you love my cock in your tight little cunt.” You were in heaven, on cloud nine, all the way up until you heard a knock on the door that is. That didn’t cause Jeno to stop though, he just continued pounding you senseless and you didn’t mind the slightest bit. 
“Y/N, are you alright?” You heard his sister’s voice ask through the door, loud enough for you to hear, but not loud enough for the rest of the family upstairs to.
You clenched your jaw, biting your bottom lip as Jeno slowed down and leaned forward to hunch over you, muffling his grunts, whimpers and moans against the base of your neck so his sister wouldn’t hear him. He left open mouthed kisses on your neck, lightly biting it before biting a little harder until you let out a gasp. He licked up to your jaw and captured your mouth in a needy kiss.
You pulled away and finally answered after a few delayed seconds, “Y…yes.” You said loudly, trying your best for it not to come out as a moan and you clearly succeeded, seeing as she went on as though her brother wasn’t giving you one of the best fucks of your life when there was a strict rule against it. 
“I thought I heard you scream.” 
“I-” You started, but was cut off by Jeno who seemed to want to test you as he stood straight up again and raised your right leg so that it rested against his chest and the edge of the dryer, causing your clit to come into contact with the warm metal. “Fuck,” You gasped before catching your breath again. “I saw a spider!” You called out to her, lying of course. 
She was silent for a minute as Jeno picked up his speed again, clearly more preoccupied with getting off than worrying about his sister catching you guys at this point. “Oh, good. I thought you were in pain or something.“ Furthest thing from it. ”…well, could you try to keep it down? The baby’s finally sleeping.” She finished, realizing you weren’t going to reply to the whole pain bit. 
“Yeah.” You called out quickly, just wanting her to leave already. 
“Goodnight.” She replied, but again, you didn’t care to reply seeing as her brother began pounding you for all he was worth, clearly close to his happy ending. You whimpered as this caused the sensations to your stimulated clit to bring you to your orgasm, but not before Jeno’s. He felt you clench around cock, and left a harsh slap on your ass. Once. Twice. “Baby, you can take me for a little longer, can’t you?” He spanked you again, harder.
Your head dropped but he gripped your chin roughly and forced you to look at him, “Mmh, sweetheart?”
“Jeno, I-… fuck I can’t,” you gasped as you felt his hand choking you once again, making you feel lightheaded, “T..too much, I’m s-ssso close.” You slurred, but his hips kept moving.
“Not yet,” he grunted. “Let it build, baby.” His dick brutally trusted against your g-spot with the force his entire body could muster, aiming to give you best orgasm of your life. You knew you couldn’t any longer as your legs shook uncontrollably and he knew too. “Keep your eyes on me, baby. I wanna see your beautiful face when you cum.” He groaned, sinking his teeth into your neck and giving you one sharp thrust that made you gasp and moan out loudly as you tried to keep your eyes from fluttering shut, offering a glance at his pleasure filled face. “Cum,” he groaned against the soft skin of your neck, biting harshly as he felt you clench around his cock, “Cum all over daddy’s dick, I wanna feel it.” He snapped his hips into yours and you felt his grip on both your throat and waist turn bruising. “Squirt all over daddy’s cock. You know you want to.” He spanked your ass harshly just as his fingers pulled you away from the dryer slightly so he could pinch and twist your wet clit in between his skilled fingers. 
You leaned your head back against his shoulder, biting your lip hard and feeling yourself tighten around his cock, causing him to jerk inside of you again as he moaned in your ear, switching his hand to rub sloppily and fast at your pulsating clit. “Cum baby, let it go.” You let out a loud scream, and his hand that weren’t around your neck flew to cover your mouth to stifle the screams that uncontrollably escaped you — as always. You were always noisy for him, and he could always get all kinds of crazy pornographic sounds out of you, but this time was different. You couldn’t remember ever feeling this out of control, and you were right. “That’s it, princess, I wanna see you shower my fucking dick. I wanna hear you scream, I wanna watch you fucking shake and squirm. Let it all out, soak my cock baby,”
You sobbed, feeling your cunt pulsing as your orgasm finally crashed through you lightning every single nerve in body on fire. You couldn't hold it off any longer, “That’s it baby,” Jeno grunted, muttering praises at you as you gushed around his cock, squirting all over him and making a mess. 
You couldn’t help but let out a loud moan as your lip quivered, your hands scrambling to cling to anything. “God, I love you, you know that?” You could only manage a cry mixed with a moan of pleasure as you let your head fall back onto his but keeping your eyes on his as he told you. You listened to him chant your name over and over again like a mantra the entire time before he finally stilled inside of you and came harder than he ever has before, “Fuuuuuck…” He finally moaned as he began moving again to ride out his orgasm, just as his fingers focused back on your pulsating clit so he could pinch and twist your wet clit in between his skilled fingers. “You’re so fucking hot. So sexy. Always so good for daddy,” You leaned your head back against his shoulder, biting your lip hard and feeling yourself tighten around his cock, causing him to jerk inside of you again as he moaned in your ear, switching his hand to rub sloppily and fast at your clit until he was sure you were completely finished and utterly ruined and destroyed.
Jeno pressed open mouthed kisses to the skin of your back, shoulders, neck and anywhere he could reach, allowing both of you to come back down to earth before he finally stopped and pulled out of you, as you sighed in content. It only took moments of his loving kisses to bring you back to him and he was quick to wrap his arms around your shoulders, bringing you you even closer to him that you already were. 
You quickly turned to lean against the dryer just as it buzzed to let everyone know it was finished with the cycle before smiling up at Jeno as he smiled down at you just as lovingly, leaning up to place a tender kiss against his lips in which he returned with all of the love that was left in his body. 
Neither of you talked after that, he simply cleaned you up with a damp towel and helped you back into your clothes and you helped him back into his before you forgot about the laundry and you both headed up to your room, thinking it would be alright if you broke this one little rule, and apparently so did he. 
Besides, you both knew you weren’t going to let go of each other any time soon.
taglist: @sunshine-skz @aedreamzy @bockhyun @queenrachelpink @melaninjhs @tangledbutterflies @painted-hills @jenyongcas @stopitvpls @infnteen​ <3
934 notes · View notes
nctsworld · 7 months ago
completely floored
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✩ jeno x reader | best friends to lovers | fluff | smut | 1.5k
SUMMARY | who knew gaming on the floor like you two used to could change everything between you and your best friend? WARNINGS | smut, floor s*x, oral s*x (m receiving) RATING | mature PROMPT | staring at each other’s lips for a moment before giving in REQ BY | anonymous
AUTHOR’S NOTE | bless up for the boring jalapeno teasers to give me inspo and i’ve been wanting to write jeno for a long time so hehe i also haven’t played uno in forever sorry if there’s anything off
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In Jeno’s basement rental suite, you two are sitting comfortably near each other on his carpeted floor, playing Halo together with your backs leaning against his worn-down sofa. 
“You doing okay?” Jeno asks with care, glancing over at your side of the TV screen where you’re blatantly struggling to stay alive from the onslaught of enemies. His gaze then falls on you for a second. 
“Yep, doing great,” you singsong, sarcasm laced in your tone. He catches sight of you sticking out your tongue in frustration.
Jeno’s not sure why the expression from you comes off more cute to him than usual. He smiles to himself in amusement and turns his attention back to the game.
It’s been about six months since you’ve last hung out one on one with him. Third year of university has been busy for both of you, but you’ve managed to find some free time now that finals were finally over this semester. 
And it feels exactly like old times from high school when you two used to sit on the floor at his parents’ house, gaming until the sun rose.
But things have definitely changed since then.
Like how gorgeous Jeno has gotten.
When you unsurprisingly die and have to wait to respawn until Jeno plows through the current batch of enemies, you waste your time in noticing his chiseled jaw line, the sexiness in his confident grin, and the raw attractiveness that exudes from him. 
You shake your thoughts away, attributing them to how you probably just missed hanging out with him, along with the fact that you’ve been single for way too long. 
After a couple more rounds of Halo, Uno replaces it as the next game of choice. Still on the floor, you’re now facing each other. About a few feet apart from you, Jeno has a leg pulled nearby to his chest, his arm resting on his raised knee. On the flipside, you’re sitting with lax legs bent onto their sides, parallel to the carpet. 
The early rounds of Uno are peaceful, but as it progresses, playful competitiveness emerges. The game shifts drastically when Jeno suddenly plays a handful of draw four cards. 
Your jaw swings open, shocked that he held onto so many for so long, and you complain about the unfairness of the situation. Smugly, Jeno shrugs and retorts back that’s simply how the game works. 
Twisting your mouth to one side and squinting your eyes, you then drop your cards in a teasing state of anger and launch yourself towards him. Your best friend merely laughs as you attempt to punch him in the arm. 
However, things take an unexpected turn. You lose balance and accidentally topple him down towards the carpet, your chest pressing atop of his.
Your faces are inches apart from one another. You’re both heavily breathing, practically inhaling the other’s air.
Each parties’ eyes flickers towards the other’s lips. Your gaze lingers longer than it should and you reprimand yourself because this is your best friend—your drop, dead gorgeous best friend who is looking at your lips with the same craving. 
Chest to chest, your hearts race together, pounding against the other almost in sync. Carefully, with a gulp, Jeno gently palms your cheek. Your eyelids flutter to a close.
Lips meet and collide, and you lay your hands on the planes of his chest. You’ve always felt safe around Jeno, but you’ve never felt more safe with him than like this. 
Soon enough, the kissing escalates, transforming into ones that drip of neediness and burning desire. Your touches dig deeper into each other. Throughout it, your shirt is thrown aside and you quickly attach yourself back onto him to help him rid of his layers.
Marking his body with a trail of hot kisses, you slowly make your descent towards his significantly hard desire. Seeing him shirtless is nothing new, but now that you have him up-close and all to yourself, you traverse his beauty without hurry. 
Peeking up at him when you reach his abs, you see him looking right back with an intent, ravenous stare. Because you’re not used to it, you feel a tingle in your cheeks and brush some hair behind your ear as you continue your trek.
Once at your destination, you strip him of his jeans and brief-boxers. Gasping silently at the sight, his sizable cock springs out and slaps against his stomach. You lick your lips, wanting his length immediately in your mouth. Instead, you restrain yourself and leave feathery kisses upon it.
Jeno sighs at the minimal sensation, his erection twitching in yearning for more. His sighs melt, replaced by sharp gasps and the ruffling of eyebrows as you devour him whole. For what you can’t engulf with your mouth, you pump with your hand.
“God...” he pants, eyeing you closely with with his hands behind his head, bare arms flexing delectably. Saliva begins to pool around his base as you suck endlessly. He peels a hand away and runs his fingers through your hair. “You’re so beautiful.” 
Coming up for air, you chuckle as you stroke him steadily. “You’re saying that ‘cause I just sucked you off.” 
“No.” Jeno strongly disagrees, a stern glimmer obvious in his eye. Shaking his head, he rises onto his forearms and leans in right up to your face. 
Your best friend whispers the following into your mouth as he rubs his thumb tenderly over your cheek—
“I’ve always thought you were beautiful.” 
Another kiss, but this time, lips are crashing fiercely, like it’s the last time you’d ever kiss anybody. Jeno caresses your upper body and similarly, your hand continues to squeeze and jerk him off. Impatiently, you stand to hurriedly remove your bra and tug your bottoms off. 
Jeno’s tongue drags along his lower jaw when you rush to your purse to grab a condom; he watches attentively at the perfect view of your ass.
You scuttle back and ease the rubber onto him, and within seconds, you’re sitting on his length. Once he’s completely inside, an acute throaty moan pierces the room and your head cranes back. You’ve never had anyone fill you up so full before, and yet, it doesn’t take much time to acclimatize to his girth.
Riding him, you bounce relentlessly with your weight on your knees and your hands graze his upper frame. You’re gone, blinded by ecstasy, but Jeno’s hazy look doesn’t stray from you. 
His pretty fingers glide upward over your stomach, then over your breasts. At first, he thumbs your nipples to play with you prior to kneading them hungrily in their entirety.
Without warning, Jeno seizes your back with one hand and brings himself up, snatching your breasts into his mouth. 
“Fuck, Jeno,” you exhale in pleasure, sinking your nails into his flexed back and shoulders. “What are we doing?” 
“Do you wanna stop?” he asks between the snug puckering of his lips around your nubs. 
“No, no,” you immediately reply, shaking your head profusely. “You feel too fucking good...” 
When he’s finished loving your breasts, you gesture for him to lean back down during a kiss. Like before when you fell on him in the beginning, your chests are glued together again, this time now sans clothes. 
Your lips maneuver over to his neck, attacking him with kisses, and you fuck him with the your ass jutting out. The wet slaps of your sexes intermingling, Jeno’s panting, and your whines penetrate your surroundings.
“I’m close, I’m close...” he says, his eyes rolling to the back of his head in timing for what’s about to happen. 
Dragging yourself away from his neck, you kiss him fervently while you fasten your pace. He moans into your mouth as he unravels, his sweaty palms relaxing against your perspired back. You follow right after, practically reaching your peaks together.
After a few moments, you roll off and lay beside him. Both of you pant towards the ceiling in disbelief. The disbelief that runs through you is immersed with an underlying fear. 
“Maybe I should get going...” you say unsurely, sitting up and looking at your clothes at the other side of the floor. 
Just because you’ve had sex with him, it doesn’t mean Jeno still isn’t your best friend, nor does it rid of the fact that he knows your change of emotions like the back of his hand. He sits up too, warmly wraps an arm around your shoulder, and kisses the top of your nude arm. 
“How about one more game?” he mumbles into your skin. 
“Which game?” you whisper curiously.
One more peck, this time on your cheek. 
“The game called Stay the Night.”
Your head turns to face him, gazes converging. He flashes you his saccharine smile, his eyes following suit and smiling as well.
“Can’t play it without you, but only if you want to.” He rubs the tip of his nose against yours, causing you to giggle. “What do you say?” 
You get lost in his eyes, realizing that maybe you’ve always had something for Jeno, whether you were conscious of it or not.
Despite it all, you know your feelings aren’t unrequited. They can’t be, not with the way he’s looking at you as if you’re his entire world right now. 
In response to his proposition, you lean in for another kiss. It’s definitely not the last kiss you give him tonight. 
Not by a long shot.
2K notes · View notes
neopuppy · 4 months ago
7 Days (M)
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Preview: what Jeno wants Jeno gets
Day 1: No.
Day 2: Double No.
Day 3: Still No.
Day 4: No?
Day 5: Maybe.
Day 6: Ok.
Day 7: Yes.
Pairing: alpha Jeno x female omega reader
Word Count: 5.3k
Genre: one shot, omegaverse, a/b/o, jock Jeno, alpha Jeno, pwp(err..), M/F, college AU
Smut Warning: explicit language, mutual pining, sexual tension, fingering, masturbation, phone sex, oral, overstimulation, praise kink, dumbification, slick, knotting, library sex
Day 1: No.
“You need go let it go Jeno. I’m too busy for this.” You speed walk along through the large empty hallway. Alpha captain of the football team, Jeno Lee scurrying at your side.
“Why not? I’ve been asking you to hang out for weeks. You can’t seriously be studying that much.” Jeno scoffs, quickening in steps to rush inside the library with you.
“Not all of us can rely on a full ride athlete scholarship to get past exam season you know that right?” Your eyes roll, unlocking the front entrance to the library.
“Hey, I study too. Why don’t we have a sesh together together sometime? I’m great at making flash cards I’ll have you know.” Jeno holds open his letterman jacket with pride, following after you inside. Keeping your eyes focused on your tasks, switching all the lights on. Damn him for looking so big and broad in that stupid jacket. Damn your thoughts for betraying you dreaming of what it would look like on your body. To strut around as the captains omega girlfriend.. yea right.
“Jeno, I seriously don’t have time for this. Finals are coming up. I already had to drop cheer squad after my dad chewed my ass out for that B- in English lit. The last thing I need right now is for you to follow me around campus like some sad pup searching for it’s owner.” Stepping around the library checkout. Jeno staggers behind you, past point of entrance for a non-library assistant. “Hey! You know you can’t be back here!”
Jeno leans against the counter, hands gripping the ledge. Shoulders and eyes softening defeatedly. “You really don’t like me?”
“..I never said that.” Looking away pretending to fiddle through a cart of books left out from the day before. Avoiding the alphas eyes draping over your curves. Jeno had a gaze that sent chills down your spine. Skin prickling in heated sensation whenever you’d catch his eyes on you across the field. Entering the lunch hall from where he sat across the room. Between book shelves while you tried to remember Dewey decimal system details. He was always there, right down to the two classes you shared.
Jeno presses against your back, breath fanning over your scent gland. Heartbeat racing to the neglected space between your thighs at such close proximity to the alpha. 
“I really like you..” Jeno’s eyes fall shut. Nose tempted to skim the expanse of your neck. Floral scent that lingered whenever you walked ahead of him spinning his mind around. Cock twitching in tight jeans, breathing in shallowly. 
“Jeno..” you start to protests. Faint touch of lips on your skin emptying your mouth. Hung open, clenching the cart handles in your fists.
“Really can’t get together tonight?” He questions, pursed lips blowing where your neck meets shoulder. Eyes twitching having to control yourself.
Day 2: Double No.
“Jeno’s driving me insane.” Clicking your phone shut, placing it face down. You continue tapping your pen against the workbook set in front of you. Thighs clenched together tightly after opening a text message from the alpha. Attaching a photo of himself in his new uniform to let you know he’d miss you cheering him on. Dropping $10 in a message after for coffee and a snack break. “Study hard! So we can finally hang out😉”
“You are driving me insane. Why don’t you take a break and hang out with him tonight?” Your friend sighs across the table. Seated together near the back of the library trying to cram in assignments nearly due before exams hit. “Jeno this, Jeno that, you’re so obsessed with him.”
“Shut up.” Your eyes roll. Mind consumed with images of the alpha running around a grass field. Ass tight in his football uniform, shoulder pads accentuating his perfect well built frame. Pulling off his helmet, exposing sweat drenched reddening skin. Short of breath, heavy chest rising and falling. Cheeks smudged in the dirt making his teeth appear whiter when he smiles at you. The whole act absolutely breathtaking to a sickening extent. Jeno couldn’t be real, always muddling your train of thought. Landing on your ass one too many times during cheer practice. He was a huge distraction, consuming you by doing so little. 
What was he so hot for? To add insult to injury? The excuse for quitting cheer wasn’t just to focus on your studies, but to preserve your health. Only a matter of days before you’d land on your shoulder and fracture something. Messing up too many routines, busy drooling over the alpha instead of paying attention.
“Hello! God wipe that dribble of drool from your chin! You’re so embarrassing.” Your friend's hissed tone pulls you back to reality. Phone vibrating near your hand, subtly patting the wet spot on your chin away.
Sigh. Jeno again- “maybe I can come over later? I’ll rub your feet🥺”
“No Jeno.” Again. No. Two times in a row denying the alpha now. Worry at the back of your mind reminding you that he won’t wait forever.
Day 3: Still No.
“What are you doing here?” Jeno smiles, leaned on the frame of your front door. Head nearly touching the top of the small entrance to your even smaller dorm.
“You’re studying so hard these days..” his arms move forward. Two bags filled with convenience store snacks and treats displayed.
Distressed you run hands through your hair, Jeno looks amazing of course. Letterman jacket fitting him all too well. Greasy oil shining on your forehead after hours sat at your computer. Dorm stuffy and humid, engrossed in your endless cramming. Probably appearing as the utmost crap in desperate need of a shower and full night's rest.
“This isn’t a good time..” Jeno’s mouth opens ready to argue over how you always say this. Fingers gripping the edge of your door, head shaking. “I really can’t right now Jeno.”
Frowning, having to look away when the alphas hopeful expression falls. You wave goodbye, gently pushing him out of the door. “Thank you though. Maybe another time.”
Jeno’s forehead rests on your shut door. Listening to your feet pat over hardwood making way back to your desk. Exhaustion evident in your face when you answered. Worried he’s beginning to annoy you, unwilling to give up just yet. “Still a no.”
Day 4: No?
Jeno sits at a nearby table, aimlessly turning pages. Acting like he cares, stealing his needy glances your way. Lip twitching with the need to smile whenever you bounce on your toes reaching for a higher shelf.
“You’re disgusting you know that right?” Mark giggles by his friend's side. Elbow digging at the alphas forearm spread on the table. “Every day you come here to drool over that omega.”
“I’m not drooling.” Jeno casually wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Moisture left behind enhancing shade in his cheeks. “She’s my friend.”
“Do you think about fucking me?” Mark leans in close whispering. Jeno’s eyes widen with a look of repulsion.
“Dude, what the fuck?” 
“Exactly. Friends don’t daydream about fucking their friends. Friends don’t moan their friend's name after practice jerking off in the shower stalls, you know.”
“That was..” Jeno’s chin ducks, turning another page with a lack of interest. Lips pursing together with a low growl. Cock twitching from the memory alone. “..she smelled so good that day after practice. Fine, you’re right. She drives me fucking crazy. Watching the way she struggles to put those books away when they’re too heavy and she tries to balance more than one at a time drives me fucking crazy. I wanna fuck her until she forgets her name.”
“Damn dude, you really need to get laid” Mark chuckles, patting his friend's shoulder. “I gotta head out, unlike you I have a study buddy to attend to.”
“Whatever, catch up with you later.” Jeno waves Mark off, gaze focused on you. Fingers grazing at books on the highest shelf. Daily struggle trying to complete your tasks bringing him amusement. Breathily laughing under his hand when a book slips free. Joining the group of fallen soldiers at your feet. Yelp earning you shushing responses from students studying nearby. Cowering apologetically, kneeling down organizing the mess you’ve created.
“Looks like you need help.” Jeno’s voice reverberates down your spine. Jumping back on your toes, straightening up with widened eyes. “Can’t stand watching you possibly hurt yourself any longer. These books get heavy you know?”
His smile scrunches up, heart yearning in your chest. Loud beats thumping through your ears. Head slowly nodding, staring at the way his arms flex around a pile of books. Biceps pulsing purposely, doing his best to appear alluring. Standing up side by side, you direct Jeno. Arms reaching further than you’re able to easily. Pointing above yourself to an empty slot. Jeno shifting, hips grazing against your backside. Deep breaths inhaled over your ear. Veins down his forearm reflecting with glow beneath bright library lights.
“Exams tomorrow right?” Jeno’s hushed whisper tickles the shell of your ear. An excuse of being quiet in the library handy in a moment trying to get close to you. Flat abs pressing through the thin fabric of your shirt. Letters of book titles in front of your eyes blending together. Jeno successfully getting you lightheaded off a mere question.
“..yea…uh..” breath catches in your throat, tongue roughly scrapping at the roof of your mouth. Gulping dry spit, fingers skimming the book spines eye-level for you. Jeno’s hands slowly come down past your shoulders, hands finding way to the dip of your waist.
“You’re going to ace all of them.” The alpha rasps, husky words tingling your skin. Softly hugging your curves with added reassurance. “Such a smart hardworking omega.. admirable..”
Gasped breaths build a rhythm in your lungs. Mindlessly tugging a book free from the well organized shelf. Jeno’s subtle praise whipping your insides around. Butterfly wings beating against the walls of your gut as they fly about.
Jeno’s fingers tremble, the heightened aroma of your scent urging him to roll his hips. Teeth gritting holding himself back, croaking quietly- “Hope you’ll consider hanging out with me after..”
Hands drop releasing you, knees weakly catching on a lower shelf. Head nodding, instinctively ready to shoot him down again. Glancing over your shoulder into Jeno’s lust filled gaze.
The word ‘no’ disappearing from your vocabulary.
Day 5: Maybe.
“Wait up!” Jeno, always Jeno. Fuck, how is he everywhere? Was he stalking you? Did you not join that stupid cheerleading team to have a front and center view of the alpha during football practice?
Your steps falter, throwing a look over your shoulder as the alpha jogs toward you. Backpack bouncing off his letterman jacket-clad shoulders. Smile spreading largely with every step reaching you.
“What are you doing?” A brow lifts questioning Jeno. Jingling change in his pocket following you into the line of people waiting for the bus.
“I’m heading the same way as you” Jeno’s brows bounce, a smile rising.
“You have a car!?! Jeno, you’re so ridiculous! We don’t live on the same side of campus!” You can’t help but laugh. Scanning your bus card for two payments. Shooting a wink at the alpha who clearly never needs to deal with public transportation. Jeno rushes in behind you, swarm of the crowd pushing you together near one of the doors. Seats filling up quickly at this hour.
“Grab on to something..” Jeno gets shoved further against you. Hands squeezing your waist, creating a barrier between you and anyone else. Stuck against your back like gum on the bottom of a shoe. The alpha places his foot between yours, squishing deeper in as the last passenger's board. Hands slipping down past your stomach, fingers encasing your belly button. Hot weather having you choose to wear less today.
Thigh shifting between your legs from behind. Swallowing, wrapping your arms around the nearest metal pole.
“Jeno..” quietly mumbling. Fingers toy at the top of your skirt. Lower half shoving against your backside, evident hardening length nestling between your ass. Another swallow has you weakly leaning against the pole.
“How’d your exams go?” Lips move on your earlobe. Quiet enough for only your ears to catch between other conversations on the bus.
“Good.. I think.. I hope..” muffled words slip from your mouth. Jeno’s other hand sliding down past the hem of your bottoms. Grazing sensitive meat between your spread apart thighs. Your eyes glancing around swiftly, noticing no one nearby sparing you looks.
“I know you did great. You deserve to relax now..” Jeno’s hips roll in closer. Eyes shutting in a sigh as his size spreads your ass open through the fabric. His cock fat enough to fuck you stupid no matter what was in the way.
“Alpha..I.. not here..” Whispering nonsense, Jeno’s fingers find your clit. Two pressing through the cotton of your underwear. Lips tightening together, heating forehead resting against the cool metal in your grip.
Jeno quiets you with a calm shhh. Lips softly kissing, eyelashes fanning the side of your face. Calloused fingers make way beneath the elastic holding your skirt up, reaching in past your soaking panties. Jeno’s hushed mumbled words flooding slick racing out of your core. “Need to touch you.”
“Al..alpha..” stammering as low as you can. Throat locking up tightly, knowing you could be caught at any moment. Jeno’s fingers swipe between your folds. Collecting embarrassing amounts of slick, lips lifting with a smile against your skin.
“Love when you call me alpha. Wanna be your alpha.” His cock prodding at your backside thrusts forward. Large size earning a shocked gasp. Pressing your mouth against your hand wrapped on the pole before you. Jeno giving you short stiff thrusts, enough to have your core sliding over his wet fingers. “Good omega, wanna be good for me?”
The question has your eyes rolling up, losing a sense of where you are anymore. Wanton neediness consuming your mind. Fingers circling your convulsing entrance sending you over the edge. A combination of Jeno draped over your back, the public setting stirring humiliation in your gut. The alpha praising you sweet enough to break down the wall you’ve built up.
Trembling hard, your fingers dig into the pole keeping you held up. Jeno’s eyes look around subtly. Even if anyone had picked up on what you were doing, no one was watching. Bystanders too caught up in their own mundane schedule to give you both a second thought. Confidently with teeth dug into his lip, Jeno grinds his hips against your lower half. Hard length fully engulfed between your ass, swiveling curtly for added friction. Enjoying the act more than you’d love to admit. Jeno reminding you what a slut you can be in the right hands.
“Cum on my fingers. Wanna take some of you home with me. Fuck my hand baby.” The alpha encourages you to thrusts down, knees bending pushing against you with intent. Back of your hand muting whimpers desperate to come out. Sliding up and down long thick fingers stretching you just enough to get off. Jeno’s muttered words finishing you off- “gonna jerk off with your slick. Dream about fucking you.”
Going cross eyed, muffling your moans best you can. Gasping at air to fill your lungs. Jeno grunts satisfied as you clench up around him. Dick painfully screaming at him to be let out.
“We’re almost there..” trembling vocal chords sound in your ear. Chest heaving up and down recovering, eyes meeting with an older omega sat near the back. A knowing look with a smirk and a nod before she fixes her gaze out the window. Humiliation heats your cheeks, Jeno’s nose sniffing arousal off your scent gland. Storing it in his mind for later. “Want you so bad.”
“Still can’t tonight Jeno.. I’m sorry..”
The alpha sighs, biting back a groan. Hands removing from your body, cradling slick coated fingers gently. Truly prepared to rush to his room and frantically tug at his cock. Slick enough to aid him picturing the real thing.
“Don’t apologize.. yet. I’m gonna give you so many opportunities to beg for forgiveness for making me wait. Teach you how my good omega acts.” The doors open at your exit, Jeno placing a gentle kiss on your jaw. Lips drawing his message on your skin.
“Call you later. Get some rest, forget about studying for now.”
Day 6: Ok.
“97..” reading the score for your English-lit final drew a sigh of relief from your lungs. Relaxing back in your computer chair, back cramping releasing stress. Forehead wrinkled together deep in thought. Finally able to catch a breath, maybe gain a full night's sleep. Sitting up with a crack in your spine, arms outstretched. Butt numbly coming to life as you stand, the aftermath of too many hours hunched over your keyboard for the past month.
Stomach growling lowly indicative of hours neglecting any signs of hunger. Eating would be smart…but your could wait. The thought of laying down, rolling around while your waist stretched too alluring. Short strides across the room were all it took, falling flat against your small mattress with a loud groan.
“Jeno..” eyes falling shut immediately picturing the alpha's face before you. Hot tingles of excitement stirring at the back of your belly. The timing hadn’t ever been right. Faint memory Jeno’s touch enough for your hand to find its way between your thighs. Arousal growing the clearer his features became. Heavily feathered lashes shadowing dark eyes that watched you with such need. Lips ghosting the shell of your ear, whispering all the ways he could break you down.
Fingers circled your clit, ready to get off and pass out in ecstasy for the rest of the night. Images of Jeno in his football uniform playing in your mind. Teeth finding your bottom lip as moans grow higher in pitch. The dorm walls were thin enough to unfortunately hear everything. Brain twisting with every flick at your hardening nub. Jeno’s strong hands squeezing at the dips in your side…hard alpha cock ramming you into oblivion…
The shrill ringing of your phone abruptly interrupting depraved thoughts pulls you back to reality. Freehand reaching out patting over your bedsheets, lifting the device.
The timing was never right.. or was it. Finger hovering the green answer, as your other fingers paused elsewhere. Giving in, cradling your phone between ear and shoulder.
“Hey! Ah, you answered. How were the results? I got a 79! Pretty good for me.” Jeno chuckles. Deep rasp in his ton drawing feelings from your gut. Eyes heavily drooping letting the alpha's voice calm you.
“97, not quite the perfect score I was aiming for.” Hesitantly, your fingers pick up once again. Languidly rubbing your nub side to side. Jeno would melt in a matter of seconds if he was aware..
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re such a smart hard working omega. I admire how diligent you’ve been about studying.. and dodging my advances. My ego took a bruising, but that score deserves a celebration.” Jeno speaks with a smile in his voice. A visual of his eyes disappearing painting your mind. Praises rushing slick between your folds at a fast pace. Breath catching in your throat falling deeper in your mental fantasy.
“Yea..” your response drags. Fingers gliding lower tapping your entrance teasingly. Wishing for Jeno’s thick fingers to fill you up instead, wide base of palm smacking against your mound with every drawback.
“I’m almost scared to ask if you want to hang out with me again. If you turn me down this time I won’t have the excuse that you’re just really focused on your academics this time..” Jeno’s nervous tone travels through your phone. Everything he said or did turning you on all the more. Burying inside of your pleading hole, nose sucking in gnawing at your lip. Suppressing down a hungry moan. Omega taking over your senses, relief striking the depths of your mind that’d been locked up for weeks. No time to even get yourself off, too exhausted most nights after classes and shifts at the library. Coming home only to pound down caffeine and study.
“ okay?” Jeno’s question has your eyes flying open. Deep inhale seeping past your lips. Jamming three fingers inside surprised. Craving to be stuff full of something, someone much larger.
“Yea..I uh..” you stammer, train of thought lost. A curious sound gracing your ear from Jeno’s end.
“What are you doing right now? You’re being awfully quiet..” the alpha knows you too well. Studying the science of you more than his actual academics.
“Alpha..” there it goes, omega completely infiltrating your mind. Thumbing your clit back and forth with a hiss. Slick reaching past your hand ruining the pajama bottoms you had on still.
“Fuck.. are you..” Jeno struggles, breath audibly catching. Palm digging at his crotch. In a similar position, strewn out on his bed. “First thing omega does to celebrate huh? Couldn’t even call me over? I would have been there in record time you know.”
“Ugh, Jeno.. this is your fault.” Heavy panting sounds out, fingers building up a rhythmic speed. Hips lifting off your bed rolling up. “Do something about it. What kind of alpha are you?”
“It’s my fault you’re such a needy girl?” Jeno’s voice deepens. Register lowering, wrapping around his length. Thumb stroking at his pre-cum releasing slit. “Could be fucking you stupid right now. Bury my cock deep in, get your slick all over my balls. Fuck you full of my knot, will you beg? Beg to be filled with my pups baby?”
“Yes, alpha, please. Please keep going, fuck me so full. Wanna.. think about nothing but your cock.” Wantonly moaning the last words. Rapid motions between your thighs fogging your mind. Arm straining the faster you work. Wet slaps of palm on your skin so loud even Jeno can hear. Raspy groans passing through the phones speaker dizzying your mind further away. The alphas deep guttural moans licking around your ear. Hips thrashing around, hand wildly working at your core.
“Wanna fuck you into nothing. Sliding on my cock, sobbing for mercy. Have you addicted, give me everything.” Jeno’s panted words hit deep. Toes pointing together, muscles cramping up. Orgasm hitting you like a truck, shouting for the alpha. Hips jolting in the air, fingers spreading open with shocked pause. Climax throbbing in your skull, down the middle of your chest. Jeno’s needy grunts and moans sending another wave of pleasure between your thighs.
“Fuck Jeno…fuck fuck fuck..” with an exasperated sigh you fall back flat. Neck rolling side to side in disbelief. He was too good, too hot. Demanding power over you terrifying, willing to let him break you down in any way.
“You did so good for me..” Jeno’s breathy quiet words draw you back. Heart beating faster, waiting for what you want to.. need to hear. “Good omega, my good omega.”
Day 7: Yes.
Organizing another heavy pile of new books had you yawning. Back stretching with a nasty crack down your spine. Eyeing the clock ticking above, almost 8pm. Nearly time to shut the doors, only a few students hanging around on a Friday night. The sleep you’d managed to catch up on still not enough. Rubbing the back of your neck with a sigh. “Almost.”
Hoisting up on your toes, attempting to squeeze another book in a shelf above. Too lazy to search through aisles for the step stool that could easily help you reach. A large hand appearing above yours, wrapping around the spine of the book. Low voice whispering into your ear- “why don’t you ever ask for help?”
“God Jeno…scared the shit out of me..” hand landing over your rapidly beating heart. Jeno presses along your back. Body instantly heating after the past two days events. “Why are you here so late?”
Jeno smiles behind you, nose nuzzling into your hair deeply inhaling. “Can’t stand thinking about you here alone. Tiring yourself out, when I could be doing that for you instead.”
Jeno’s hands encase your smaller stature. Fingers nearly squeezing complete around your waist. The alpha doing so little to remind you how easily he could break you…mentally and physically. Lower lip pouting with a tremble when his size digs into your lower back. Turned on whenever he gets too close to you, scent stirring his dick to life with madness.
“Alpha..” your eyes bounce around between holes in the shelf. Two students sat at a table not too far off, backs visible. Hunched over their books, scribbling notes down. “I’m almost off… we can go back to my room..”
“You’ve made me wait long enough.” Jeno comments, hands finding their way between your thighs. Stomach lowering down your back, landing with a light thud on his knees. Underwear falling to your ankles, thighs locking together. Hot heavy hands flipping your dress up. Soft relieved sigh from Jeno’s mouth blowing along your backside. Chill hitting each chord of your spine when he spreads you apart.
The obscene image of your wet heat up close sending Jeno off the edge. Nose dipping in first, slowly dragging down your slit. Rounded tip nudging your clit, savoring the scent of your wetness. Craziness hits your mind, forearms resting on the ledge of a shelf. Neck turned watching as the alpha’s tongue falls out. Slick glowing off the perfect pronounced bridge of his nose.
“Tasty omega” His eyes stay on yours. Tongue teasing your entrance, poking in and out. Lewd slurping on every pull back. Worriedly glancing at the students, one packing up their belongings. If only they both would leave.
Jeno’s tongue glides in, walls opening around the muscle with ease. Omega yipping inside, dancing around excitedly that our alpha has finally come home. Slick pouring out down Jeno’s mouth, covering his chin with every wiggle in. Tongue magically opening you up, nose buried in your ass the harder he works. Groans passing from his mouth between your heat. Eyes rolling shut every time your walls pulsate around him. The sound of a door shutting catching your attention. One student left.
Your head drops, biting at your fist. Jeno’s fingers meanly digging into the meat of your ass. Spread apart wide, if anyone was to walk by they’d see everything. Expression of pure pleasure on the alpha’s face below igniting canons inside you. Teeth sinking into divots of your knuckles enough to draw blood. Whimpers passing through your nose, bouncing back down. Nose hitting the rim of your ass while you ride Jeno’s tongue. Cock expanding, alpha screaming at him for more.
Cumming over his mouth with a choked mewl. Clamping your palm over your spit coated lips, legs shaking as orgasm bursts. Jeno kissing hungrily around your hole, tonguing your closed up ass.
He straightens up, pulling your dress down past your shoulders. Slick lips planting kisses over your skin.
“Shh, don’t wanna get caught do you?” He grins, hand slapping your ass. Gripping it in a firm squeeze. Turning your loosened limb body to the side. “Get down baby.”
With a hand pushing at the dip in your back, the alpha gets you on your knee’s. Settling behind you, gathering your hair aside. Tongue rolling around the entirety of your face. Neck strained pushed into the ground, staring back at him. Dark eyes glinting red, cloth clad cock humping your backside. Taking time to feel over your body. Hands dipping in past the top of your dress. Pinching and pulling on your erect nipples. Licking your face with claim, alpha repeating to him- mine, my omega, all of her belongs to me.
“Gonna fuck you stupid, isn’t that what you need baby?” Jeno grits, shoving his jeans down with one hand. Other wrapping over your nape. His throat constricting with a dry swallow. Eagerness to pound you into the ground consuming him.
“Please alpha… need… need!” You hiss out. Shedding small tears, combining with Jeno’s drool left on your burning cheeks.
“Good omega, begs for her alpha..” Jeno sounds dazed. Both of you letting feral heat control your minds. Thick cock swiping up your walls. Tip catching on your winking hole in a painful way. Unable to dig your fingers into the old library carpet, shoulders and chest pushed on the floor. Held down, trapped in place with the strength of Jeno’s arm flexed behind you. Muscles twitching, fingers tingling on your skin. “Ready for me?”
His question’s followed by an all too loud obscene sound of slick pulsating out of your hole. Whining mixing with Jeno’s satisfied moans. Cock prodding your thirsty entrance, head popping in.
“Yes! Yes! Please! You’re so close! Please alpha! I-..” broken whines catch in your throat. Jeno forcing his entire length inside. Eyes rolling back together, cunt gripping in desperation around the alpha. Omega in return rejoicing, my alpha, all of mine. The large intrusion knocking your brain around. Mouth hung open on the carpet, disgustingly moaning on it. Jeno’s strong hold on your neck comforting in a way. Keeping you grounded, literally.
“Fuck…oh fuck..” Jeno’s face ducks. Forehead rested against your upper back momentarily. Eyes blinking with every convulsed squeeze around his cock. Everything about you perfect, too perfect almost. Unbelievable tightness making him forget where he is. Croaking your name in a pained groan. “You feel so good. So fucking good. Perfect. Fuck fuck.. you’re so perfect for me.”
“Yes! Yes alpha please!!” The tears rushing down your cheeks can’t be stopped. Mind emptying, only thoughts of being fucked full of Jeno’s cum for days, weeks. Craving to feel him inside of you for hours on end. A hand smooths down your waist, landing on your ass brutally. Hips pulling back, cock out to the tip. Jeno holding his breath above you, straightening up. Admiring the way your walls cling to him, your body not even willing to let him go.
Alpha instinct to fuck you into claim the only thing on his mind. Another slap resounds on your ass, hips bucking forward returning to your tight heat. The moans coming from you encouraging him to fuck you faster, harder. Repeating the motions, shaking the hand around your neck. Growls erupting when your eyes roll up. Tongue hanging from your mouth fucked into a dumb helpless omega.
Jeno’s eyes attempting to screw shut, brows furrowing. Sweat gathering above his lip. Mind all too appeased he finally got you. Inevitable overwhelming pleasure has you cumming in minutes. Jeno fucking through your wailing broken cries. Head bouncing against the floor, panting out loudly like an exhausted puppy. Head empty, jerking forward with every powerful thrust. Slick shooting out aggressively around Jeno’s size.
“You like that omega?” Jeno breaks into a smile. Hips slamming down on your bruising ass. Animalistic rage compelling every impactful thrust. “Answer me.”
“I..” you try to nod, neck strained under Jeno’s unrelenting grip. Another slap across your ass has you shouting. “I LOVE IT! I love it! Jeno!! Please! Please fucking cum! Inside!!”
Jeno’s thrusts get sloppy, anguished moans gritting out. Delivering purposeful movements in, knot expanding with each thrust.
“Fuck baby, it’s all yours.” Jeno’s eyes slam shut. Too lost in your pathetic cries, growling as his orgasm hits. Body falling over yours, fucking you flat against the floor. Hips grinding down, knot pushing you into another intense climax. Soul sucked from your body through Jeno’s dick. Load spilling deep inside your walls, too much dripping out past the alphas thick knot. Cunt aching, in the best way.
Lazy kisses trace your shoulder, nose nudging into yours. Lower halves locked together in place. Jeno mumbling on your cheek between pecks- “Did so good. Take my cock like a perfect omega.”
“So much for staying quiet in the library assholes.” Sound of the library door slamming shut following an angry voice has you both stiffening for a second. Bursting into laughter together as the door shuts.
a/n: I worked in my schools library lol.
tag: @seuomo @unknown5tar @sunoosi @ahsshilee-me @nabi-nono @kimsaerom @nc-teen
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amorajae · 8 months ago
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PAIRING : Lee Jeno x Reader SUMMARY : You’re assigned as a tutor to the one person that made your high school life miserable, but when said person comes up with a proposal to get back in your good books after three years of not seeing him, you wonder whether he’s really changed or if it’s just another game to him. GENRE : smut, college!AU, hockey!AU, hockey player!Jeno, enemies to lovers. WARNINGS : sexual content (making out, fingering, orgasm denial, riding, thigh riding, praise kink, oral sex), lots of sexual bantering, swearing. WORD COUNT : 22.6k
AUTHOR’S NOTE : This story was inspired by the lovely Sunny (@neocitybynight, she deactivated a while back) and her story called “Of Captains And College Boys”. I originally wrote this as a two-part story, but after going through and editing it a couple months after posting, I decided to merge it into one. Thank you to everyone who’s shown it love, it’s probably one of my more popular stories and I’m super glad to see people still enjoying it!
TAGLIST : @flowerboykun @0606-hyuck @sprngfeverr @ajhdr @aa-ronpa @atletino @pietromaximoffprotectionsquad @tyongff-ff @nct-esn @jwisungcutie @heirans @bockhyun @crescentjen @nohyuckist @lenaluvs @unexpect3d @harrythefarmer @pewpewpwe00 @studeyley @starrywheein @stayzenniesstuff @pretty-junjun @dreamyyang @nct-esn @navoeur @injunified @chitaprrrrrrrr @sunshinedhyuck @jae-mi-nee @thejeongjaehyun @aangiie @ahgastayzen @qianinterprises @stankytracy @bl--ankhaeji @unknown5tar @rerehadidsworld
Masterlist / Be added to my general taglist!
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“…and as society progresses, we need to be able to understand the constructs that block us from changing the past mentalities that already exist. Any questions?”
Monday afternoon. You’d been stuck in lecture halls all day, this being the third class you’d had to sit through. It wasn’t really a bother to you, since you’d always been academically inclined, but you were running on less hours of sleep than you normally would and that coffee you consumed earlier didn’t seem to be helping much. Around you, it seemed like many of your colleagues also felt the same, some dozing off in the back while others rubbed their eyes. You couldn’t blame them honestly – contemporary problems in modern society was a topic that could put even you to sleep, but you weren’t paying thousands of dollars for a degree in sleep. This was your elective class and it was supposed to give you a break from the other courses in your design program, but you were starting to think that for some, it was a bit too much of a break.
The young woman at the front of the room searched the rows for any raised hands, finding none as she nodded to herself and walked back to the desk. “If no one has anything to ask, we’ll call it a day. Remember to read chapter four of the textbook and get those reflections in by next week!”
Relieved to be dismissed, the hall filled with the chatter of students as they packed up their bags and headed out. You walked down the steps to the front, the young woman’s face brightening as you approached her.
“Hey,” you greeted. “Jaehyun said you needed to talk to me?”
She nodded, straightening up. “Yes, I do need to talk to you. How are you doing in your classes?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Mira, you know exactly how I’m doing.”
“Just asking,” she said, raising her hands in mock surrender. “Who knows whether you’ve finally lost your mind and spiraled into the depths of insanity with the amount of work you do?”
Okay, she had you there. It wasn’t your fault that you were a workaholic – you just liked being busy and if that meant working on projects in your spare time, you considered it productive. You weren’t a fan of the university party scene, with all the drinking and alcohol-fueled troubles that people got into. In fact, you rarely went out with friends because you preferred staying inside and you were going to keep it that way until you finished your degree.
“Anyways, I didn’t call you over to judge your work habits,” she continued. “I came to ask you for a favour.”
“Please, just hear me out.”
You sighed and motioned for her to continue. She reached into her stack of folders and pulled out an assignment that clearly was marked all over in red pen, handing it to you. You remembered this – it was one of the first reflections you’d been assigned to write. Frowning, you looked through it, searching for a name but unable to find one due to the markings all over the papers.
“Mira, why are you showing me this?” you asked, handing it back to her.
“I need you to tutor him,” she explained. “This is the only class he’s failing because he just doesn’t want to put in the work. His writing is always half-assed and it’s not even on the topics we covered for that week. According to the registrar, he’s doing somewhat well in all of his other classes except for this one.”
She reached over to clasp your hands with hers. “Sanchez is putting a lot of trust in me to lead the lectures instead of her, which isn’t something you see a TA doing often, but if he keeps getting low marks, it’s either going to make me seem like a hard marker or they’ll think I can’t do my job right.”
Oh, Mira, you thought. You’d always liked the woman, having graduated from the same high school as her and even attended the same university as well. She was older than you by four years and had already finished her degree, but had been brought back by the institution to work as an official teacher’s assistant to Loreia Sanchez. She was right that it wasn’t common at all for a TA to be leading lectures as opposed to labs, but she was good at what she did and you really would feel terrible if one student’s mark risked her position. She truly was a kind person, but it was the expression on her face that made you give in.
“Fine, I’ll do it,” you sighed.
Mira excitedly clapped her hands. “Wonderful! This’ll be a great opportunity for you to get out and talk to people more. I swear, the only friends you have are the walls of your apartment and that one figurine of John Wick.”
“I actually have two, thank you very much,” you corrected.
“That’s not helping your case, you know. You need human interaction outside of classes, which means actually going out and starting conversations with others.”
You gave her an amused look. “Big talk coming from someone who nearly flunked their first two years from partying so much.”
There was a sheepish grin on her face. “I was in a relationship at the time. It was a mistake, I’ll tell you that, but lots of good lessons learned.”
She began packing her bag as you waited for her, leaning against the desk. Now that you thought about it, you would have to rearrange your schedule a little bit in order to find time to tutor whoever this person was. Speaking of, you still didn’t know who it was. Probably was a good idea to ask.
“I didn’t see a name on that paper,” you said as the TA zipped her bag and looked up at you. “Who’s the person I’m working with?”
“Oh, that’s probably my fault. I went a little overboard with making my comments. It’s Lee Jeno. Same year as you.”
It was who now?
“Lee Jeno? As in high school Lee Jeno?” you questioned.
“Yup, same guy. Funny how he ended up at the same university as you. Didn’t you used to say that you hated him or something like that?”
Did you hate Jeno? No. Did you despise him with your entire being? Absolutely.
To put it simply, Jeno was the one kid that you grew up with throughout elementary school and the second he entered high school, he became one of those cocky, loud, groupie fuckboys that would ask to go to the bathroom, only to go into other classes instead and flirt with the younger years. The memory of seeing the freshman girls swoon over his boyish charms and smile made you want to vomit in your mouth. It was obvious how fake the whole act was when in reality, he was just as bad as the others. You’d been fairly quiet in high school, choosing to keep to yourself and moving around with only a select group of friends, but it hadn’t stopped Jeno from making you his target. You really didn’t know what you’d done to annoy him, but you suspected that your overall presence in general was something that pissed him off. In your final year, he suddenly decided to move to another city and you never heard of him again. In fact, you hadn’t even known that he was in your university, let alone this class.
“He doesn’t show up for lectures,” Mira commented, as if sensing your confusion. “Apparently, it conflicts with his schedules for varsity hockey and he has to do it online, but he does pop in to submit his assignments. I just can’t figure out why he’s doing so poorly in this class when he’s passing all of his others.”
“What program is he even in?” you asked as the pair of you walked out of the lecture hall. The hallways were somewhat empty, the majority of the students having finished their classes already and headed home for the day.
“Business,” she answered. “It’s an easy choice for a lot of athletes, since they can spend more time at practices than actually studying. Can’t say that it reflects well on their marks, but I’m not one to judge.”
The TA led you over to one of the on-campus coffee shops, ordering for you as well as you handed your student pass for her to pay with. She shook her head, scanning hers instead and turning to you with a grin.
“Faculty get everything free, remember?”
Handing you the cup of coffee, you thanked her and took a sip, the feeling of hot caffeine in your system warming you from the inside. You enjoyed spending time with her – she was probably one of the few people on campus that you genuinely felt comfortable being around.
“So,” you said after taking another sip. “How often am I required to tutor this guy?”
“Once a week,” she replied. “Even if it’s just looking over his reflections and giving him pointers on how to improve them, it’ll be better than nothing. I feel like he’s smart enough to understand the material, but he’s just too lazy to do the work and chooses to submit something half-assed to at least say he did it.”
She reached for her phone, typing something quickly and sending it to you, your own phone vibrating in your jacket pocket as you took it out.
“This is his number. I managed to get it from the student records and I’ve already let him know that he’s going to be getting a tutor. He doesn’t know it’s you, but maybe he won’t be as bad as he was before.”
You snorted. “I doubt it, but thanks. I’ll send him a message later once I get back home.”
Mira gave you a grateful look. “You have no idea how much you’re helping me out with this. I know you’ll get through to him, just give it some time.”
Giving you a warm hug, she raised a hand in good-bye as the two of you parted ways, heading towards her car as you walked towards the bus stop. It was late autumn, the leaves of the trees already shades of red and yellow as a cool breeze ruffled your hair, just before the halfway point of the semester. You didn’t have any midterm exams, but you knew of people that did and you were thankful that you’d chosen a relatively safe program. Instead of exams, you got projects that took you hours, but it was better than having to sit and memorize material that you would never actually use.
The bus ride home was quick, dropping you off a block away from your apartment. It was a small place, nothing too exciting and fairly decent for the price you were paying for monthly rent. Your aunt and uncle had been kind enough to help you cover the cost of housing, while you agreed to take on paying for the tuition. They were kind souls, the two of them. Much nicer people than your parents had ever been. Pushing the button for the elevator, you waited for it to arrive, sighing when you noticed that it was nowhere close to the ground floor. You’d have to take the stairs.
Pulling out your keys, you opened the door to your cozy home, throwing the jangling metal onto the counter as you shrugged your bag off. Heading towards the couch, you slumped down onto it and closed your eyes, the quiet of the space bringing your mind some relief. You really needed to stop forcing yourself to work on projects so late. Not only was it messing up your sleep schedule, but the amount of screen time was killing your eyes as well. Maybe Mira was right – maybe it was time that you stopped staying indoors so much and actually went out for once, maybe live a little bit.
Nah, that’s not happening.
In your pocket, you felt the weight of your phone. The screen was still on Jeno’s contact number when you unlocked it, your lip curling in slight disdain at the sight of his name. God, you really didn’t want to do this. Why had you even agreed? You needed to stop trying to make everyone happy and just say no for once. With a sigh, you pressed the message icon beside his contact.
You (6:23 PM): Hey, it’s the chick you bullied throughout high school, remember me?
No, he wouldn’t have cared enough to remember. Erasing the message, you tried again.
You (6:23 PM): Hi, I’m your tutor for the contemporary problems class, Mira gave me your number.
You contemplated adding a smiley face on the end for good measure, but you opted out of it. Pressing send, you placed your phone face down against the coffee table and closed your eyes.
Snapping your eyes open, you grabbed the phone and unlocked it. He’d replied.
L.J (6:25 PM): yo whats up
Even his texting screams ‘massive fuckboy with attention issues’, you thought.
You (6:26 PM): Mira told me you’re failing her class, so I’ll be helping you with your work until the end of the semester or until you’re fine on your own.
You (6:26 PM): Is there any time we can meet this week?
The little circles indicated that he was typing, but it wasn’t until much later that you got a response from him. You’d been in the middle of making dinner when your phone had chimed.
L.J (8:04 PM): i can do thurs 5-7
You (8:05 PM): That’s fine, we’ll meet in the commons. See you then.
After a minute, you sent another message.
You (8:06 PM): Mira’s TA job could be on the line if you don’t pass this class, so at least try to be on time, thanks.
There. That was better.
You spent the rest of the week busying yourself with your work and trying to put the meeting with Jeno out of your mind. You weren’t sure whether it was nerves or just annoyance at having to see the person that’d made you feel miserable during high school, but when you walked into the commons, there was only steely determination to not let him get on your nerves. Who knows, maybe he had changed since then and was a different person.
The second he showed up, you felt your mood sour. He looked around until he noticed you, your hand raised in a half wave to let him know you were the person he was looking for. Walking over, you noticed the way his chain glittered in the light, his black hair hidden under a cap. When he sat down, he shot you a flirty wink.
“Mira didn’t tell me I’d get a hot tutor.”
Nope, he hadn’t changed. Jeno was still the same arrogant prick as he was before.
“You must’ve found the wrong person then,” you said, no hint of amusement in your voice.
His eyes went wide for a slight second, then the cool expression was back on his face as he leaned back in the chair. “Damn, all business. Alright, alright. I see how it is.”
You reached into your bag to pull out the folder of his assignments that Mira had given you yesterday. Pushing it towards him, you crossed your arms as he opened it and looked through.
“Why are you handing me my work?” he asked.
“You’re failing,” you stated. “This is the one class that you’re not passing and if you keep it up, it’ll threaten your spot on the hockey team.”
He snorted. “There’s no way that Coach Suh will pull me. I’m just too good of a player for him to let go of.”
You shook your head. “Coaches care just as much about your education as they do your talent. If you want to keep playing, you need to be at least passing all of your classes by the time the semester ends.”
Jeno narrowed his eyes at the papers, pushing them aside as he turned his attention to you and leaned in with a smirk. “And what about you? Little Miss Perfect, I’m assuming? Got all your assignments in on time and getting straight As?”
“Why does it matter what my grades are?” you shot back.
“I’m just saying, you’re probably the type to spend hours on something that doesn’t matter in the end because no one gives a shit about your grades when they hand you that diploma. It’s just getting you off their hands as fast as possible.”
There was a wicked glint in his eyes as he grinned. “I bet you’re still a fucking virgin, too. Never been to a party or gotten high either.”
You maintained eye contact with him as he leaned back into his chair again and crossed his arms, mirroring your position. He was playing with you, trying to see if you would be as easy to bend and break as the other girls he’d probably messed around with. There was something about his attitude that just really set you off, a little voice in your head telling you to swing a fist at his face, get revenge for everything he’d put you through. Instead, you settled for clearing your throat nonchalantly.
“Listen here, asshole,” you snapped. “I’m not in the mood for your little tricks and games. I don’t give a damn whether you’re the ace or a fucking water boy on the hockey team. My job is to make sure you don’t fail that elective class and if you make this hard for me, both Mira and the coaches are going to know.”
It was your turn to lean in. “And don’t go talking about me like you know my life story. You’re just as big of a dick now as you were in high school and I truly hope that whoever you sleep with next gives you a fucking disease.”
Jeno stared at you as you stood up, snatching the folder away from his side of the table as you reached for your bag and jacket. Before you left, however, you turned back to give him a saccharine smile that didn’t meet your eyes.
“You’ve got a week to get that reflection done, since Mira’s being nice enough to push back the due dates for us. If you’re not here next week with the paper in hand, you’ll find yourself watching your next match from the bench.”
And with that, you left him in the commons.
The next Thursday, you sat yourself at the same table at precisely five o’clock, your right leg tapping against the ground impatiently as you waited for Jeno to show. There had been no messages from him saying that he would be late or needed to reschedule, so you were expecting him to be here. A couple of minutes later, he sauntered into the commons, paper in hand as he approached the table and tossed it without a care in your direction.
“Can I leave now?” he questioned.
“Nice try, Lee. Sit your ass down.”
As he let out an exaggerated groan, you paid him no attention as you began reading his reflection. This week’s topic was manipulation within social media platforms and while you’d finished yours already, you weren’t so sure about Jeno’s.
Frowning, you reached the end and turned the paper towards him, opening your mouth to speak and stopping when you noticed he had his phone out. Pursing your lips, you felt like a mother tugging the device out of his hands, holding it above your head as he reached for it.
“Come on, don’t be a bitch,” he grumbled.
“You can have it back at the end. Now, tell me why you included this when it doesn’t pertain to the topic.”
Begrudgingly, he looked at where you were pointing, taking a moment to read the sentence. When he was finished, he looked back up at you. “I don’t know, it makes the word count bigger, so I added it in.”
“It has nothing to do with the topic of the reflection.”
“So? Not like anyone’s going to notice.”
You glared at him. “Jeno, are you a fucking idiot? Of course, someone’s going to notice. What, do you think professors just look at your name on the page and decide they’re going to give you a passing grade? Don’t be ridiculous.”
He slipped off his cap and ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it down before putting it back on. “What do I do about it then?”
“First, get rid of that entire section because it doesn’t make sense,” you said. “I don’t care that it cuts down your word count. Second, you probably have tons of social media accounts, so isn’t there something you’ve noticed about the apps that you could interpret as manipulation?”
There was a moment of silence as he thought about it. Jeno thinking? It can’t be, you joked to yourself. For a second, his eyes widened slightly as something seemed to come to mind, but once he saw you watching, his expression turned back into his usual cocky smirk.
“You’re not good at hiding things,” you remarked, raising an eyebrow. “Now, whatever came to mind, write it down and send me a draft of it later. If I give it the all-clear, you can hand it in and there’s your mark for the week. I have a project that needs finishing, so I’m heading off.”
His hand shot out to grasp your wrist as you moved, pulling you back down into the chair. “Not so fast. We’re not done here.”
You eyed him suspiciously. “I’m not sucking your dick as payment for anything.”
“What? No, the fuck?”
Checking the time on your phone, you made up your mind. “You have five minutes and then I leave.”
“Let’s make a deal,” he said, eyes twinkling. “I’ll keep coming to these weekly meetings without trying to skip. In return, you give me until the end of the semester to get back into your good books and make you like me.”
You were at a loss for words as you sat there, staring at Jeno’s stupid face as he waited eagerly for your response. Did he really think that this was going to make up for all the years of bullying and teasing? He had no idea how much it crushed your self-esteem and confidence, no idea about the number of times you’d cried at home, locked away in your room because his words kept ringing in your ears. He had no fucking idea and he had the audacity to come back into your life with such a request.
“No. Now fuck off.”
Pulling your wrist away, you grabbed your jacket and your bag, walking away from him without another word. He was quick to stand up, running after you until he managed to get in front and block your path.
“Please, just listen to me, okay?”
You were quiet as he continued. “I know I was dick, I admit it. You probably think I still am and that’s fine, but just give me a chance to make it right. Just one.”
Sensing the stares of the people around you as they regarded Jeno, his hands out to the sides like an idiot, you sighed in defeat. “Fine, one chance. If you fuck this up, I never want to see you again.”
He closed his eyes in relief. “Thank you. You won’t regret this, trust me.”
You won’t regret this, trust me.
His words echoed in your ears later as you pressed the button for the elevator, listening as the sound of metal groaning and cables moving against each other filled the hallway. From a couple of doors down, Mrs. Portman waved to you, a smile forming on your face as you waved back. A sweet woman, she was. You remembered how she’d knocked on your door when you’d first moved in, a tin can of freshly-baked cookies and a warm pie in hands as she welcomed you to the building. She was in her late sixties, going into her seventies, but her heart remained golden and her mind young. You wished your life was as simple as hers. There was never a moment when she wasn’t smiling, lighting up the dull corridors of the building with the way her eyes turned into crescents when she laughed.
Trust me.
Could you trust him? Hell, this was Lee Jeno you were talking about. Fuckboy extraordinaire. You’d been unlucky enough to have to hear him recounting countless drunk nights to his friends in high school, always with some new chick that called everyone ‘girly’ and had those annoying acrylic nails that drove you mad with the need to rip them off. It was always Jeno this, Jeno that. You couldn’t get away from him, no matter how hard you’d tried then.
Three years had passed since you had last seen him. Could you really expect him to change your mind?
Entering your apartment, you placed your bag on the chair by the door and threw yourself onto the couch, face smushed against the pillows. Letting out a loud groan, you let yourself relax for a second before standing up to go take a shower, feeling the need to forget the events of today. By the time you were out, two new messages had appeared on your phone.
L.J (7:28 PM): sent u the new draft, can u check it over
L.J (7:28 PM): i have practice at 8 so i’ll look at any comments u made after
You (7:42 PM): Sure, will look at it now.
Your fingers hovered over the screen, as you debated sending another message.
Ah, fuck it.
You (7:43 PM): Have fun at practice, don’t get hurt.
Setting it down, you went to dry your hair, missing the reply as the sound of the hair dryer muted every other noise.
L.J (7:45 PM): thx, don’t be up too late :)
Could you trust Jeno? You weren’t sure, but you’d already agreed to give him a chance and you would keep your word until he gave you a reason not to. You could only hope this wasn’t going to be a mistake.
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"Come to my match this weekend."
You looked up from your laptop, entirely forgetting what you were about to write as you stared. Jeno? In a library of all places? It couldn't be.
"Are you lost?"
"I said, are you lost?"
"What do you mean by lost?"
Lifting a hand, you motioned vaguely to the space around you. "This is a library, where people come to do actual work and study. You neither do work nor study, so that's why I'm asking if you're lost."
Rolling his eyes, the jock reached over to the neighbouring table and grabbed a chair, pulling it over to yours as he sat down across from you. His hair was once again hidden underneath that same black cap he always wore, but you noticed that it seemed lighter than usual. In fact, it looked blue.
"New hair?
He grinned, slipping the cap off and running a hand across the top to smooth it down. "Jaemin asked me to do it with him because he lost a bet to one of the seniors. Of course, I'm a wonderful friend and wouldn't ever let my bros down, so we went yesterday to get it done. You like it?"
Sighing, you turned back towards your laptop. "You look like a blue highlighter."
"A sexy blue highlighter, you mean."
"In your dreams, Lee."
Jeno leaned forward across the table, pressing the power button on your laptop as you tried in vain to smack his hand away. Shooting him a glare, you moved to press it again but he’d already closed the lid, forcing your attention upon him.
"Come watch me play this weekend."
"Oh, come on! You have nothing better to do than lock yourself up in your room and be an antisocial bitch. Live a little for once."
Grabbing his wrist, you shoved his arm away from your laptop and flipped it back open. At least you were smart enough to remember that the save button existed, or that visual mockup for your interface class would've been lost and you would've had to start all over again. Jeno watched as you pointedly ignored him, eyes focused on your work as you avoided making eye contact with him. The longer you didn't give him what he wanted, the quicker he would go away.
Or so you thought.
You were surprised to see that even an hour later, he was still sitting across from you, scrolling through his phone silently as you worked. It was getting late and your bus would be here soon, so when you stood up to pack your bag, he was startled.
"Leaving already?"
"It's almost eight, Lee. Unlike you, I have actual adulting responsibilities that I need to take care of back at my place."
"We're literally the same age," he said. "Barely adults as it is."
"Explains a lot about you, doesn't it?"
"Pot, meet kettle."
God, he was annoying.
Turning your back on him, you began walking towards the doors, Jeno following suit. It was Friday evening and the hallways were surprisingly empty. Usually, it was a bustle of students trying to finish last minute assignments and get them printed, but it was the day before the weekend, and it felt like the only two souls occupying the entire campus were you and the blue-haired jock.
"Could you slow down a bit?" you heard him grumble from behind you.
"What, stamina a little low these days?"
He scoffed. "Considering how long I last in bed, that's the furthest thing from it."
"A minute isn't that long," you replied. "Surprised that girls still want to sleep with you even with a dick as small as yours."
Arriving at the elevator, you pressed the button to call it down, the doors opening almost immediately. Stepping in, you were tempted to close the doors on Jeno, but he seemed to be expecting it and slapped a hand over the panel, blocking you off. The proximity of his body to yours was close and when you thought about it, this was probably the closest you’d ever been to him physically. He stood there as the doors closed, hand moving to the red button and forcing the elevator to a halt, standing up to full height as he loomed over you.
"Congrats, champ. You know how to stop an elevator. Want a medal for that?" you muttered.
"You're being a bitch again."
"And you're being a dick. Well done for pointing out the obvious."
You noticed the way that his jaw tensed, eyes hardening as he took a step forward and you took one back, pinned against the elevator wall as if in some cliché romance flick. There was nowhere to look but him, the drawstrings of his hoodie brushing against your jacket as he leaned in. He had a mole under his eye. Has he always had a mole there?
"You know," he said. "You're not doing a very good job of letting me back into your life."
"I never said I was planning on doing so," you muttered. “Besides, I’m waiting for you to prove to me that you deserve it.”
"You know you don't actually hate me."
"On the contrary. You're just like the rest, Lee. Thinking that your looks and dick game can get you anything. News flash, that's not how it works and the day you realize it will be a day too late."
He was silent for a second before stepping back with a sigh, retreating to the other side as you stood unmoving. Once you were satisfied with the distance, you turned back to the elevator panel and pushed the same button he’d pressed earlier, the red light blinking off as the metal cage moved once more. It shook slightly as it resumed, making you lose your balance for a second and forcing you to grab onto the railing to stabilize yourself. You missed the way that Jeno reached out towards you, hands outstretched as if to stop you from falling.
Neither of you said a word for the rest of the ride.
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The supermarket was quiet as you went in, the idle music in the background filling the space as you looked around. Sure, eleven on a Tuesday night wasn't the best time to be grocery shopping but you’d fallen asleep at your desk and realized that it was past dinner time as the dark of the sky had stared back at you through your window. There were just too many projects you needed to get done and it didn't help that you’d turned to excessive snacking to fuel your energy levels.
Humming along with the music, you wove through the produce aisles, mindlessly picking fruit as you let your body move on autopilot for a while. You were surprised at how empty the building was, with only one cashier still working. Maybe they closed at twelve, you weren’t sure.
Reaching the snacks, you carefully browsed through the options, trying to make a conscious effort to not grab the first thing your eyes landed on. Popcorn? You could skip. Fuzzy peaches? You didn't need them this week. Cadbury mini eggs? Now that was something you couldn't live without. You cheered internally as you noticed the final pack tucked in the back, a sole bag waiting to be claimed. Come to mama, you thought, eagerly reaching for it.
And then it was no longer there.
You turned to glare at the person who’d swiped your precious chocolate away from you, only to find yourself face to face with one Lee Jeno, dressed in a pair of athletic sweatpants and a dark blue hoodie. He smirked, lifting his hand in a little wave as he sauntered away with a laugh.
That fucker.
Immediately, you grabbed the back of his hoodie, pulling him back towards you as you wrapped an arm around his side to grasp at the chocolate. He let out a grunt as you elbowed him, forcing him to fumble with the bag as you snatched it away from him.
"That's my chocolate," you hissed at him.
"Jesus, what are you? Gollum?"
"Am I what, excuse me?"
"Gollum," he repeated. "You know, the creepy ex-hobbit that hides in a cave and talks to himself?"
You stared.
"Lord of the Rings?" he tried again.
"Haven't seen it."
"Seriously? You're so uncultured."
It was strange to see Jeno without his usual black cap, his blue hair slightly ruffled from your attempts to get the chocolate back. You hadn't noticed it earlier, but he was wearing glasses, the light glinting across the rims, his eyes blinking at you from behind thick lenses.
"Fucking four eyes," you teased.
"Shut up. I wear contacts."
"Do your buddies know that you wear glasses?"
He leaned forward until he was level with you. "Making fun of my looks isn't nice, you know."
You smiled sweetly at him before turning on your heel and calling over your shoulder. "Now you know how I felt all those years ago."
You ran into him again when you went back to the dairy section, reaching for a tub of yogurt as he did the same. Hand landing on top of his, you pulled back suddenly, giving him the chance to swipe it away from the shelf.
"Fuck off and find your own yogurt," he smirked.
"I had my eyes on it first," you shot back.
Placing it into his basket, he grinned at you, eyes mischievous. "Should've been faster then."
"Prick," you muttered as he walked away, grabbing a tub of yogurt and placing it in your basket.
When you were finished, you made your way towards the cashier, noticing that Jeno was also approaching from the other side. Speeding up, you pushed yourself in front of him, successfully forcing him to wait behind you as the cashier raised an eyebrow. There was a huff from the jock, causing you to smile as you began unloading your items onto the conveyor belt.
"Did you find everything alright?" the cashier asked. You nodded, giving her a smile as you subtly slipped a hand behind your back and flipped him off. He poked his tongue into his cheek, placing a hand in his pocket as he paced around, waiting for his turn.
Find your own goddamn yogurt, my ass.
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Benchwarmer (8:46 PM): come over
Your eyes flickered up to the notification as it appeared on your screen, thumb swiping it away when you saw who it was from. Jeno's contact name had been upgraded to something that wasn't his initials and if you were being honest, it suited him. Apparently, he’d been benched during one of his last matches for showing up to practice an hour late and you knew exactly what he’d been doing during that hour – the hickeys on his neck explained enough. The sight of you walking in on him and some brunette having a go at it in the library had almost triggered your gag reflex then and there, the image burned into the backs of your eyes for the rest of that day.
Jeno, however, was persistent and as your screen was bombarded with constant notification pop-ups, you were starting to get annoyed. It wasn't until an incoming call with his name on it made you finally pay attention to him.
"The fuck do you want?" you snapped at him when you’d answered.
"I'm bored, so come over," was his reply, the sound of shuffling heard from his end.
"Wrong person, Lee. I'm not your booty call."
"But you're probably sitting at home doing nothing, so why not just come over? The rest of the guys are out for the night."
"And do what? Listen to you talk about how big the tits are of some girl you’re fucking?”
"I'll have you know that tits are fucking amazing and-"
"I really don't need to know, thanks."
"What, jealous?"
You snorted. "As if. The last thing I care about is your sex life."
"You should care about yours though," he said. "It's practically nonexistent."
"Oh, sorry. I forgot that it's not considered normal for people to care about something other than who they're going to stick their dick into next."
There was a pause for a second, followed by a loud thump and the sound of a muffled groan of pain.
"I'm fine, thanks for asking," came Jeno's voice, sounding distant from the phone.
"You're welcome," you shrugged, reaching for the bag of chocolate that lay opened on the coffee table. You were surprised you hadn't annihilated the whole thing yet. Maybe you did have more self-control than you thought.
"So," he said suddenly.
"So?" you questioned.
Your phone vibrated with another notification – a request to video call. Sighing, you declined the request, only for it to pop up again.
"Why do you keep declining?"
"Because I don't want to see your ugly face."
"Wow, what an insult. I'd pretend to be hurt, but I'm not a toddler."
He was stubborn, you'd give him that. When the notification popped up again, you scowled and begrudgingly accepted it, his face appearing on the screen. His hair was now dark red, the colour contrasting nicely with his skin, collarbones peeking out as you noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt, a silver chain visible.
"You coming over or what?" he drawled.
"Put on a shirt and no, I'm not. Stop asking and leave me alone to eat my chocolate in peace."
"You mean the chocolate that you stole from me."
"It was mine from the start," you argued. "You were just being a dick by taking the bag because it was the last one."
"And I got my payback with the yogurt that day. We're even."
Jeno shot you a lazy grin as you plopped another chocolate into your mouth, bringing a hand up to flip him off. It was quiet for a moment as he looked away from the screen, shoulders and back visible as his head moved out of the frame. When he appeared, he’d slipped on his glasses again.
"Four eyes."
"Fuck off. I can't see."
He ran a hand through his hair, fixing his bangs as you ate another piece of chocolate.
"What's with the new hair again?"
He sighed. "Jaemin lost another bet. He's got pink hair now, but it actually suits him. The red isn't so bad either, I like it."
"It looks good," you quietly mumbled.
"Nothing. I said you look like a fucking acorn."
"Are we naming things we don't get?"
You promptly hung up on him. Not a second later, there was a new text from him.
Benchwarmer (9:03 PM): i'll keep the red for u, i think u like it more than the blue ;)
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The rustle of a paper appearing in front of your laptop screen made you look up. It was last week’s assignment, but instead of being covered in red pen marks, there was a note scribbled onto it.
Nice work on this, it’ll bump your grade up to a passing one :)
“Not bad, eh?”
The now-red-haired jock grinned at you as you took the paper from his hands and skimmed through it. He’d messaged you the previous week that he was going to try submitting it without any critique from you, to which you’d argued and insisted that it was better if you looked it over at least. As usual, Jeno had been stubborn and denied, but it seemed like he’d been in luck this time. It looked like your tutoring was helping him somewhat, if that passing grade was enough proof.
Sitting in the chair across from you, he gave you a grin as he crossed his arms. “Told you I could do it. You just had to trust me.”
“I mean, based on what I’m reading, it’s really not that bad,” you commented. “It seems like you actually put in some effort into writing this.”
He gasped mockingly. “Me? Not putting effort into things? That hurts.”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m pretty sure that you were literally failing before Mira handed your sorry ass over to me to save you from the depths of academic probation.”
“Yeah, yeah, take all the credit.”
Passing the paper back to him, you turned your attention back to the screen. This week’s struggle? Figuring out user interactions for a stupid paper on resources that you had to write for your information architecture class. It was definitely the most boring thing you’d forced yourself to do, putting it at the bottom of your list of assignments in order to get it off your mind. Usually, the words flowed easily when writing essays, but this time, nothing seemed to want to get written as you searched through the textbook for something, anything, that might trigger an idea.
“You should take a break, you know,” Jeno said, watching the way that you mindlessly flipped through the pages. “All that studying isn’t good for you.”
You snorted. “What, and you know better? I’m pretty sure you don’t study, period.”
“Not true,” he said. “I looked over some notes for my econ class the other day.”
“Because you had a test that you’d entirely forgotten about.”
“I didn’t forget, okay? I had a tournament that weekend and when you’re out travelling with the team, you’d be an idiot to try to get any work done. Have you tried being roommates with Donghyuck? He doesn’t fucking shut up.”
“Speaking of hockey,” you said, closing the textbook out of boredom and leaning back into your seat. “Rumour has it there’s an all-star game this weekend.”
Jeno’s eyes brightened at the mention of the match. “Yeah, we’ve got some graduates that formed a team and are planning to come back to verse us. It’s practically the biggest match of the season, if you exclude the league championships and nationals. Coach says that I’ll be playing, but he also plans to let some of the rookies get time on the ice, so I’ll probably be on for a half and then sitting for the other half.”
You hummed in response. You knew nothing about hockey other than the idea was to shoot a puck into the enemy’s net and it was played on ice. In fact, you didn’t know much about sports in general, your childhood spent filling up sketchbooks in your spare time. You were pretty sure that you’d never gone skating before and most likely never would unless there was a reason for it.
“You should come watch the game,” Jeno said.
“I don’t do sports,” you replied.
“Doesn’t matter. Give yourself some time away from your work. It won’t grow a pair of legs and run off into a fire if you don’t look at it every five seconds.”
“Jeno, I literally know nothing about hockey,” you sighed. “The last thing I want to do is sit there and watch you idiots slam each other into the sideboards until one of you breaks your neck or throws a hissy fit on the ice.”
“I’ll buy you chocolate if you do.”
“Tempting offer, but no. I already have enough in my stash at home and I’m not letting you anywhere near it.”
“Food hoarder.”
“Shut up, acorn.”
“Acorn?” he said, letting out a chuckle. “That’s a new one.”
You shrugged. “What can I say, I’m just too good at making up nicknames.”
Jeno lifted a hand to smooth down his hair. “Speaking of nicknames, when are you going to stop calling me by my last name? You sound like a drill sergeant.”
“When you stop being a dick,” you replied, giving him a sarcastic smile.
“Hate to break it to you, but I was never a dick to begin with. I do, however, have a di-“
“I really don’t need to know, thanks.”
At this rate, your essay was never going to get finished, so you closed your laptop with a sigh and packed it away in your bag, textbook following suite. Standing up, you turned to wait for Jeno, who’d noticed you leaving and was already at your side. Okay, maybe spending time around him wasn’t all that bad. You would be lying if you said that you’d forgiven him for everything, but it was nice to be talking to someone that wasn’t Mira or your family. The thing about Jeno was that you knew him even before high school, seeing him grow up throughout elementary school and being in the same homeroom classes together. In light of his change to a fuckboy attitude, you’d forgotten what he used to be like – a smiling, good-natured kid with a love for his cats. Looking at him now, you could still see the remnants of that easy-going boy, the one who would invite you over to play with him and the other children when you’d first moved, knowing no one, but it was clear that he was trying to hide it.
Maybe you secretly had feelings for him after all this time.
Wait, hold up. Feelings for Lee Jeno? Nope, not going down that route, brain. Nice try.
Your attitude towards him had changed slightly, now that you thought about it. Had he become something like a friend? Or were you just so out of touch with the people around you that he’d become your primary source of social interaction?
“You good over there?”
His voice brought you out of your thoughts, already having walked towards the doors that led out of the library. He was wearing his glasses more often, you noticed, and instead of ditching you after the elevator ride down to the main floor of the commons building, he now walked with you all the way to the bus stop. You pretended not to see the way he would check the time on his phone, breaking out into a jog after he bid you good-bye and thought you weren’t watching, knowing that the athletics building was all the way on the other side of the campus.
“I-yeah, I’m fine,” you said, catching up to him.
“You sure?” he questioned.
“Sorry, I was just thinking.”
“About what?”
About you.
“About that hockey match,” you answered. “Maybe I’ll find time to watch a bit of it or something.”
Jeno’s eyes lit up as he looked at you, a hopeful expression on his face. “Yeah? You think you’ll come to it?”
“It’s not really my scene, but if I keep denying every time, you’re never going to stop pestering me about it, so I might as well just go once.”
“You’ll love it,” he said, grinning widely. “As long as you keep watching number 23, you’ll be fine.”
“Isn’t that your number?”
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The arena was fairly full when you walked in, the sound of cheering filling the air. Jeno had been sending you reminders every hour that the match was at seven, to which you’d responded with either ‘I know, you’ve told me this already’ or straight up with a middle finger emoji. When he’d shown up for the tutoring session earlier in the week, you’d curiously watched as he’d pulled out a jersey from his bag. Motioning for you to stand up, you’d obeyed, raising an eyebrow as he’d placed the jersey flush against your chest, his eyes narrowed as he’d looked you up and down.
“It’s a little big, but it should fit,” he’d said, pushing the fabric into your hands.
“What’s this for?” you’d questioned.
He’d given you an incredulous look. “For the match, of course. If you’re going to watch, then you better do it in style.”
“This jersey has your name on it.”
“You want me to wear your jersey? Isn’t that reserved for like, I don’t know, the girlfriends of the team or whatever?”
“Are you saying you’re my girlfriend?”
Gaping at him, you’d felt your face go warm at his question. “W-what? No, that’s not what I said. Besides, I’ll look like a midget in this thing. Why is it so fucking big?”
“That’s what sh-“
“No,” you’d interrupted, pointing a finger at the smirk forming on his face. “Don’t even start with that.”
He’d grinned. “Just wear the damn jersey, alright? It’s not that big of a deal and if you really hate it, cover it up with a jacket or something.”
After a moment, you’d agreed. “Fine, but I’m washing it before I put it on because you fucking stink.”
And now here you were, wearing Jeno’s freshly washed jersey and looking for an empty seat in the stands. Seeing one towards the back, you wove through the gathered crowds of people until you reached the stairs, walking up to the back row and sitting down. From across the arena, you could see the team huddled together, gear on and laces tightened as they were engaged in what seemed like a last minute pep talk before the official start of the match. On the other side were the seniors, having come back for this match specifically. There was shouting and hollering as the school’s mascot began waving around excitedly, getting the crowds energized as the players began making their way onto the ice.
Your eyes were on Jeno’s figure as he gracefully skated over to where the rest of the players had lined up. Just before getting into position, you saw him lift his head and look around the crowd, eyes searching until they found you. Raising your hand, you formed it into a fist and placed it right above your heart, directly onto your chest. Seeing the action, he reciprocated it and pointed at you, a smile forming on your face without realizing.
“See, if you make a fist and place it above your heart, it means good luck. My dad and I used to do it right before matches, kind of like a handshake across the ice.”
“Like this?”
“Yeah, exactly. If you do that on game day, I’ll know it’s you.”
There was a hushed silence that fell over the arena, the tension between the two teams heavy as the referee skated forward with the puck in hand. His lips were moving, but you were too far away to hear what he had to say as he bent down, placing it on the ice and raising the whistle to his mouth.
The roar of the crowd was instantaneous as chaos broke out on the ice. The sound of skates and hockey sticks scraping filled the air as the two teams launched into a heated match, shouts from the players muffled over the sound of the people watching. The speed at which they moved fascinated you, the control they had on such finicky and thin blades, the movement of their bodies as they sped after the puck, an endless game of cat and mouse. Jeno’s figure was graceful across the ice, the number ‘23’ and the name ‘LEE’ clearly visible from your seat. Shit, he was actually pretty good. No wonder he was the ace of the team. Within a couple of minutes, you saw him break away from the rest of the players, puck dancing around his stick as he lined up for a shot, the sound of the buzzer echoing loudly in the arena as it sailed past the goalie and into the net, the crowd cheering as the scoreboard changed in favour of the home team.
The match continued with the same intensity throughout the first half, the clock slowly counting down to the final minutes before both teams would switch players and let their second line-ups take their place. It was tied 3-3, however you could tell that the all-stars were most likely going to get in one last goal before the halfway point. Even though you weren’t a fan of hockey, you couldn’t deny that the energy of the crowd and the excitement had you invested in the match, cheering the team on as your eyes stayed glued to Jeno. The way he moved was effortless, from every step he took to the way that he held his stick, a confidence in him that you knew came from his love of the sport.
Until that confidence backfired.
It was like time slowed down, your eyes moving from his speeding form to look at the player coming towards him from the left. You watched as he pulled his stick back, lining up for a shot, and suddenly, he was slammed into the boards, bodychecked from the side as his body went crashing against the glass, falling limp against the ice. Immediately, the crowd went silent, quiet murmurings filling the arena as everyone stood up to see what was going on. You were frozen in place, hand covering your mouth as you waited for him to move.
The last thing I want to do is sit there and watch you idiots slam each other into the sideboards until one of you breaks your neck or throws a hissy fit on the ice.
Your own words to him rang in your ears as you watched, coaches and medics alike making their way onto the ice to his unmoving figure, the referee motioning for the players to give him space. Come on, you thought. Move, get up.
Get up, Jeno.
But he lay still.
Laying out a stretcher, you watched as his body was shifted onto it, carried away as one of the coaches motioned for another player to take his spot. Once the ice had been cleared, the referee blew the whistle and the match continued. The sound of the crowd picked up once more, but you heard nothing as the blood pumped in your ears, the sight of Jeno being slammed into the boards replaying in your mind. Standing up, you made your way down to the ground floor and pushed past the doors, searching for the men’s locker room. You knew you wouldn’t be allowed in, so you leaned against the wall just beside the door and listened.
“… concussed for sure. Just by that alone, he’s out for at least a couple of weeks.”
“His breathing is fine, but he’ll be in a lot of pain when he wakes up. What about his arm?”
“Dislocated, most likely up in the shoulder. I can set it straight, but it’ll hurt like a bitch. It’s better if I do it now rather than later.”
There was some shuffling, then the sound of someone counting down. A pained yell was heard, making you wince at the sound, followed by footsteps as whoever was in the room moved around. The door suddenly opened and you jumped back, coming face to face with a man who you recognized to be the head coach.
“Can I help you?” he asked, eyes suspicious.
“I’m, uh, a friend of Jeno’s,” you said quickly. “Is he going to be alright?”
The man nodded in understanding. “I see. He’s currently going in and out of consciousness, so we’re giving him some time to come to fully. Got a dislocated shoulder that we just set, not sure if you heard all of that, but he’ll be benched for a while until he fully recovers.”
He sighed before continuing. “It’s probably my fault. I didn’t know Nakamoto had gotten so aggressive with his checking style. Must’ve been something they worked on with him when he went pro. If I had known, I would’ve warned them to keep an eye out for him.”
You stood there awkwardly as the coach pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly distraught by his star player’s injury. There wasn’t much you could do other than place a hand gently against his arm, giving him a sympathetic look.
“Are you close to Jeno?” he suddenly questioned.
“It’s somewhat complicated,” you answered. “But I did grow up with him, if that helps.”
“Would you be willing to check up on him after he gets the all-clear to go home? I’m sure that his teammates will be concerned, but I’ll feel better knowing that someone he trusts is there with him.”
You nodded, not wanting to deny the coach after seeing how upset he was.
“Thank you,” he said. “I’ll get Jeno to send you a message once he’s home safely. Oh, and one more thing. Don’t let him get too into his head about this whole thing. He’s a competitive player, but hates making mistakes and can’t get his mind back on track when he overthinks.”
“Sure thing, Coach.”
The man nodded once more to you and walked away, presumably to get back to the match, leaving you standing alone in the hallway.
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You reached for your phone, opening the notification that'd appeared.
Benchwarmer (9:29 PM): i feel like shit
You (10:29 PM): No kidding, you got obliterated out there.
Benchwarmer (9:29 PM): thx that helps so much :(
Benchwarmer (9:30 PM): coach said something bout u taking care of me??
You (9:30 PM): He said to check up on you, make sure that you were okay and not dying.
You (9:31 PM): Are you dying?
Benchwarmer (9:32 PM): yes
You (9:32 PM): Good, then suffer.
Benchwarmer (9:32 PM): rude
Benchwarmer (9:33 PM): no rly, can u come over and help for a bit
Benchwarmer (9:33 PM): i feel like I might vomit from the lights
You (9:34 PM): I’ll be over in less than 20, hang in there.
Tucking your phone in your pocket, you went into the bathroom to grab a bottle of painkillers, as well as a first aid kit in case he didn’t have one. Placing both in your bag, you reached for your jacket and keys, slipping your shoes on as you made your way out of your apartment.
You were lucky that Jeno didn’t live too far from you. The bus ride to the campus took about half an hour and he had his own car, so it took him even less time to get there. He’d surprised you one day by getting on the bus with you, making you raise an eyebrow at his sudden presence. Apparently, his car had been in the auto shop and he’d taken the bus in the morning, so you didn’t question it and made room for him to sit beside you. If you walked quickly, which you did anyways, it would only take you about fifteen minutes to get his place. Walking alone at night was never a good idea, but you knew that the route you took was illuminated and all would be alright.
The jock lived in one of the townhouses that made up a fairly decent neighbourhood. He’d told you that he shared the place with two other guys who were also on the hockey team, but there was plenty of room for all three. Walking up the steps, you knocked on the door, hearing the muffled sound of footsteps as it swung open, revealing who you assumed to be Jaemin in a white tee and sweatpants, his pink hair a reminder of his unlucky losing streak.
“Oh, hey! Wasn’t expecting any visitors tonight,” he said, opening the door wider for you to come in.
“Yeah, I wasn’t planning on hauling my ass over here either, but Coach Suh asked me to check up on his star player and I’m apparently needed,” you explained. “Sorry to barge in so late, I know it’s not an ideal time.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jaemin said with a smile. “I just got home anyways, so I didn’t even know that Jeno was injured until I walked into his room.”
You frowned. “Aren’t you on the team though?”
“I didn’t play tonight. I’m on a bit of a break right now due to an old waist injury flaring up again, so I was allowed to skip,” he said, taking your jacket from your hands and hanging it up. “I might not be on the ice, but I’m definitely getting more work done.”
“Are you studying business like Jeno?”
“Photography and media, actually. I’m one of the few that didn’t pick an easy major.”
Nodding, you let him lead you to Jeno’s room. For three guys, specifically hockey players, the main space was fairly organized. The only clutter visible was a can or two of alcohol on the coffee table – as to be expected. When you arrived at the door, he knocked and a quiet “come in” was heard.
“Good luck with him,” Jaemin whispered, patting you on the shoulder and walking away, leaving you at the mercy of his housemate.
“About time you showed up,” Jeno grumbled. “Also, can you shut off the lights? It’s killing my head.”
Flipping the switch, the room was doused in darkness as he turned on his side lamp, softly illuminating the guitar in the corner beside his bed. His right arm was bandaged up and wrapped in a sling, a bruise on his cheekbone visible as he attempted a weak smile, forcing himself into a sitting position and leaning against the headboard with his phone in his lap.
“Damn, you look like shit,” you commented, earning yourself a glare from him.
“Thanks, Sherlock. I fucking know.”
You walked over to his bed, sitting down as you propped yourself up with an arm. “How do you feel?”
“Like someone took a frying pan and slammed it into my head,” he said, closing his eyes. “Coach said that I’m out for at least a month and a half, so no hockey for me until then.”
“Have you taken any painkillers for your head?” you asked. “I brought some just in case if you happened to run out.”
“Took some right after I messaged you. They should’ve kicked in by now, but I don’t feel anything yet.”
He was quiet as you leaned forward to brush the hair out of his face, turning his head gently to examine the blossoming bruise on his cheek. Your hands were cold compared to his warm skin and he leaned into your touch silently, eyes still closed. You let him rest there until he spoke up again.
“I like you.”
Your brain seemed to take an awfully long time to process what he’d just said as you sat there, unmoving and watching him. He seemed to sense it, opening his eyes to look at you, his gaze fixed upon yours intently.
“I said, I like you,” he repeated, his good arm reaching forward to grasp onto your wrist and pull your hand against his chest, feeling his beating heart. You were at a loss for words, gaping at him until it finally kicked in that he was waiting for you to say something.
He stared at you. “You gave me a chance after everything I did to you in high school. You could’ve easily said no to Mira and gone on with your life, but you didn’t. You agreed when Coach asked you to check up on me. You even walked all the way over here in the dark, just to see me.”
Letting go of your hand, Jeno cupped your cheek, pulling you closer to him. His eyes briefly dipped down, then back up at you.
“Don’t you like me, too?” he murmured quietly.
Your only response was to press your lips carefully against his, pulling back after a moment as you gauged his reaction. Running his thumb gently across your cheek, he pulled you back in, lips molding with yours as you let yourself be consumed by the force of his kiss. The way his mouth fit against yours sent a small shiver down your spine, not going unnoticed by him as he deepened the kiss, making you gasp as he took the chance to slip his tongue into your mouth. Hand moving away from your face, he trailed it down your side until it rested on your lower back, tugging your body forward.
“So you do know how to kiss,” he said against your lips, letting you maneuver your body until you were straddling his thigh.
“Were you curious?” you asked teasingly.
“Maybe, maybe not.”
You pinched his side at the response, making him squirm away as he reached for your wrist, holding your arm in place as he kissed you once more. There was no need for explanations at this moment, no need to decide whether this meant something more. It was just you and him, years of built-up tension being released in something as simple as human touch. His lips moved to kiss your jaw, then down to your neck as you tilted your head to the side, closing your eyes at the feeling of his mouth against your skin.
“We don’t have to do anything right now,” you said quietly. Jeno paid you no attention as he focused on sucking a bruise into your skin, tongue lapping gently at the spot as you sighed in contentment.
“But I want to,” he said, pulling away to look at you, eyes filled with something you recognized to be lust.
“You’re injured,” you reminded him.
“I still have a good hand.”
He moved the one that wasn’t in a sling down to the back of your ass, kneading against the fabric of your pants and simultaneously pushing you down against his thigh as you let out a hum of satisfaction, his eyes greedily taking in your reactions as you moved your hips gently under his guidance. The friction was there, but not quite enough as you felt his fingers tug against the waistband, a silent plea. Managing to slip them off, you felt exposed under his stare as his hand wandered over your skin, gently rubbing circles into it as your brain worked to calm you down.
“Nervous?” he asked. “You’re tense.”
“I’ve haven’t done this in a while,” you confessed, already preparing for his judging commentary at your lack of a sex life.
Jeno shrugged. “That’s fine.”
You narrowed your eyes. “You’re not going to make fun of me for that?”
“Not everyone has a fuck buddy they can call on in the middle of the night. Besides,” he smirked, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “I feel special being your first in a while.”
“Of course, you do,” you said, rolling your eyes. His hand tightened against your thigh – a warning.
“Don’t get an attitude with me,” he growled. “I’d fuck you right through this bed if I wasn’t injured.”
“You’d last a minute tops.”
“You talk a lot of shit for someone who hasn’t gotten dick in a while.”
Feeling his fingers slip under the waistband of your panties, you let out a quiet moan as he ran a finger against your slit, smirk widening as he felt just how wet you were becoming at the thought of him. Pushing a finger into your cunt, you closed your eyes at the feeling of bliss, at the way that he curled the digit in just the right spot, stroking against your inner walls teasingly.
“Can you do two?” he asked, but before you could answer, he was already working a second finger in, your hand slapping across your mouth quickly as you let out a moan. Fuck, it really had been a while since you’d done anything and he could clearly tell, your walls tight around his fingers. He continued to move them in and out, placing his thumb against your clit and rubbing gently as you felt the pressure build in the pit of your stomach.
“Feel good?”
“F-fuck, yes,” you gasped out, a spike of pleasure shooting through your body as he suddenly pressed hard against your clit, curling his fingers at the same time. Jeno’s eyes were dark, hungrily watching the way that you reacted to his actions, feeling the way that your walls were beginning to spasm around his fingers. The orgasm was just out of reach, just a little more… and suddenly, there was nothing. You whined as he slipped his fingers out, pushing them past your lips to quiet your noises, forcing you to taste yourself as he watched.
“Good girl,” he murmured, voice low as you swirled your tongue around his fingers, the praise making a small hint of pride blossom in your chest. He shifted the thigh that you were straddling, pressing it up against your still-sensitive core after being denied an orgasm.
“Ride it,” he instructed, removing his fingers from your mouth and placing his hand against your lower back, pushing your hips down to grind against the hardened muscle. You gasped at the feeling, the friction delicious as you moved your core against his thigh. His hand was strong against your back, helping you move as he tensed his leg in time with the rolling of your hips.
“That’s right, baby,” he cooed. “Get yourself off.”
No sooner did you feel the tell-tale build-up of your orgasm once more, the tightening of your walls indicating that you would soon reach that peak you were denied earlier. Chasing that feeling, you moved against his thigh, head bent down as you closed your eyes, your hands tightening into fists against his chest. Jeno moved his hand away from your back to grab your chin, crashing his lips against yours to swallow your cries as you came on his thigh, gasping into his mouth as the pleasure coursed through your body, making your head slightly fuzzy as you rode it out. As you came down from your high, your hand shifted to accidentally brush against his bulge, eliciting a small groan from him.
“Don’t worry about me,” he said, as if hearing your unasked question. “I’ll be fine.”
“I insist.“
"No, really. I'm fine."
His breath stuttered slightly as you placed a hand on his bulge again, your tone of voice warning him that this wasn't something to argue about. Unlacing the strings on his shorts, you pulled them down, his cock already straining against his boxers as he bit his lip, eyes trained on the way that your hand dipped under and wrapped around his length. The tip was tinted red, the vein on the underside pulsing as you felt him twitch. Placing a thumb against the tip, you spread the precum along the length of his cock, stroking him slowly as he closed his eyes.
"You're a fucking tease," he complained.
"Hey," you scolded him. "I can't even remember the last time I touched a dick, so don't blame me for taking my time."
"Well, if you take too damn long, I might just strangle you with it, so hurry the fuck up."
Huffing at his impatience, you moved your hand towards the base and wrapped your lips around the tip, tongue swirling around the head as Jeno's hand immediately flew to your hair, fingers stroking the strands back until he had a decent ponytail to grip onto. You loosened your jaw as much as you could in hopes of taking him further down your throat, but your gag reflex threatened to kick in as you felt the tears start to brim in your eyes. Instead, you settled for pumping him and sucking, looking up occasionally to see his hooded gaze staring you down, entranced by the way your mouth worked on him. Sliding a hand down to gently cup his balls, you felt his body spasm, a sudden moan coming out of his mouth as you hummed against his length, the vibrations forcing him to pull against your hair. You could feel him starting to tense up, his cock pulsing against your tongue as you continued your ministrations.
"Oh, fuck, fuck," he swore. "Get off, I’m going to cum."
Humming in disagreement, you moved up to his tip, tongue flitting into the slit. Jeno swore once more, then pushed your head down as he came in your mouth. You forced yourself to swallow as much as you could, letting him thrust into your mouth as he came down from his high, the taste slightly bitter but manageable. Wiping away the remnants that still lingered on your lips, you let him bring you in for a lazy kiss.
“It’s getting late, you should stay the night,” Jeno said quietly “I don’t want you walking back home by yourself.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude when you’re injured,” you asked.
“Just stay, please?”
Jeno shifted his body to the side to make room as you slid off his thigh, wincing slightly at the pain. You reached for the blanket at the base of the bed, spreading it out and throwing it over both of your bodies as you rested your head against his chest, his good arm wrapping around your waist. His body was warm, gently rising and falling as his breathing slowed down. Never did you think you would find yourself in the same bed as him, your hatred for him dwindling down as you spent more time around him.
“Hey, Jeno?”
“Yeah?” he murmured sleepily.
“I think I like you, too.”
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“Someone’s up early.”
You jumped at the sound of Jaemin’s voice, looking over to where he’d peeked his head out of the kitchen. It was still fairly early in the morning and you’d woken up before Jeno, quietly slipping out of his bed as you’d gotten dressed and left him sleeping in his room. It wasn’t that you were running away – you just had things to do and it was better if you let him rest.
“I didn’t want to intrude, but he asked me to stay the night,” you explained sheepishly.
“Oh, I heard, don’t worry.”
Your face was warm at his words. “Thin walls?”
“Just a little. I had headphones on for most of the time, so don’t be embarrassed. It happens,” he said, chuckling at your expression. “You sure you don’t want to stay for breakfast?”
You shook your head. “Thanks, but I need to get back. If Jeno happens to wake up, tell him he needs to take it easy today. He’ll most likely be benched for a while, so the less he strains his body, the better.”
“Will do,” he answered. “Safe walk home.”
When you got back to your apartment, you made a beeline for the bathroom, stripping off your clothes and hopping into the shower. The water was warm against your back as your mind thought back to the events of the previous night.
I like you.
God, did you really just confess your feelings to Jeno? You were never meant to let him become a part of your life like this. He was supposed to be one of those people that came and went, not lingering long enough to make an impression on you. Yet, here you were, allowing him to awaken emotions in you that you’d pushed away to the back of your mind, too focused on your academics to care about a relationship. What were you two anyways? A thing? Friends with benefits, minus the benefits part? You didn’t know.
Spending the rest of the day tending to your own tasks, you put the jock out of your mind as you flitted around your apartment. It wasn’t until the afternoon that you finally checked your phone, seeing multiple missed messages from Jeno and two from an unknown number.
Benchwarmer (10:04 AM): u weren’t here when i woke up :(
Benchwarmer (10:09 AM): jaemin told me that u went home, hope the walk back was ok
Benchwarmer (11:39 AM): ugh my shoulder hurts so bad fuck
Benchwarmer (1:20 PM): u ok??
Benchwarmer (1:21 PM): ur not answering my texts
Benchwarmer (1:56 PM): ur probably busy so i'll stop bothering u, good luck with ur work :)
You (5:48 PM): Hey, sorry. I’ve been busy all day, haven’t been checking my phone.
You (5:48 PM): How are you feeling now?
As you waited for his reply, you checked the messages from the unknown number.
Unknown Contact (5:30 PM): You know that Jeno’s lying to you, right?
Unknown Contact (5:30 PM): None of what he’s saying is true
Frowning, you sent a message back.
You (5:49 PM): Sorry, but I don’t have this number saved. Who is this?
The response came after a few minutes.
Unknown Contact (5:54 PM): It was a dare from the seniors on the hockey team
Unknown Contact (5:54 PM): If he could get you to fall for him and get you in his bed, he would win
Unknown Contact (5:55 PM): Did you really think he cared about you? You know what he’s really like
Your heart dropped at the final message. It was suspicious, getting all of this information from a stranger, but if they knew about what was going on with the hockey team, it was most likely someone who was on it. You couldn’t shake the feeling of worry, the thought that maybe whoever was telling you all of this was telling the truth.
Benchwarmer (5:57 PM): still feeling like shit
Benchwarmer (5:58 PM): i miss u tho
No, this had to be some sort of joke. You knew that Jeno could be an asshole, but he’d shown you a side of him that you’d never allowed yourself to see. He couldn’t be lying, not after he’d made that promise.
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Three days.
That’s how much time had passed since Jeno’s injury at the all-star match and the cryptic messages. You’d tried your best to put them out of your mind, but there was something in you that wanted to know more, to figure out who was behind this. Things between you and Jeno had been good so far, with you not bringing anything up or questioning him. For all you knew, this was just a ruse by someone who was jealous of the attention he was giving you and wanted to start unnecessary drama – something you didn’t have time for.
On the fourth day, you finally caved in, unable to focus on your projects as you stared at your phone, the uneasy feeling in your chest starting to grow. You knew you could no longer ignore the messages. You had to know.
You (4:26 PM): Tell me what you know about the dare.
The response was almost immediate.
Unknown Contact (4:26 PM): Someone’s curious
Unknown Contact (4:26 PM): Took you long enough
You (4:27 PM): Don’t waste my time. Start talking.
Unknown Contact (4:27 PM): If you want to know the truth, come to the Dream Café at 5
Unknown Contact (4:28 PM): Don’t bring anyone with you
The Dream Café? You opened the navigation app on your phone and quickly typed in the name. It was a café located not even twenty minutes from where you lived, but in the opposite direction of the campus. You vaguely remembered walking past it, but you’d never stopped to go in.
Don’t bring anyone with you.
That alone worried you, not knowing who exactly was requesting to meet with you. It was clearly someone that knew Jeno and knew of you as well, but how did they get your number? You chewed on your lip in worry as you stared at the messages, trying to rack your brain for who it could possibly be, but no one came to mind.
You found yourself slipping on your jacket an hour later, phone and umbrella in hand. The weather had turned gloomy, heavy clouds covering the expanse of the sky as it began drizzling. You contemplated taking the bus, but it wasn’t worth the wait and you would have more time to think this whole situation over if you were exposed to some fresh air. Shrugging your hood on, you began the walk to the Dream Café.
The small café was tucked away behind a pub, the entrance barely visible behind the signage that blocked the way. Folding the umbrella, you pushed the door open, the bell at the top ringing to signify your presence, the warmth of its interior providing a nice contrast to the cold of the outside world. Looking around, it was fairly empty with the exception of two occupied booths, but you saw no one that could possibly be there for you. The occupants were both elderly, one reading a newspaper while the other was sipping on his drink.
Well, if I’m going to wait, then I might as well do it comfortably, you thought to yourself.
“What can I get for you?” the barista asked, giving you a smile as you approached the counter.
“Just a green tea, please,” you replied, reaching for your bag to pull out your wallet. “And a croissant if you have one.”
She nodded, ringing up your order as you handed her your card to pay. Once the transaction was complete, she handed it back, directing you to another counter to wait. Behind you, the bell rang once more, but you paid it no attention as you focused on taking your order from the woman’s hands. As you looked at the cup, you noticed a note tucked into the sleeve.
Booth 7, towards the back.
You turned back to the barista, but she’d disappeared. Frowning, you flipped the note over in hopes of finding a signature – nothing. Booth 7, where was that? You looked around, eyes searching until you finally found it. There was a figure already sitting there as you approached, the black cap blocking you from seeing its face. Hesitantly, you slid into the seat across, eyes going wide when they finally looked up.
The man in question winked, taking off his cap to reveal pink hair, hand ruffling his bangs as he set it to the side. You let out a sigh in relief as he reached for what you assumed to be iced coffee, taking a sip before finally speaking.
“So, green tea?” he questioned. “Thought you’d be a hardcore coffee addict like me.”
“Wasn’t feeling coffee today,” you said, unzipping your jacket slightly as you got settled into the booth. “Besides, what are you doing here?”
He pulled out his phone, waving it gently. “You wanted to know about Jeno, didn’t you?”
“That was you?”
“But aren’t you his best friend?”
“Best friends don’t always tell each other everything.”
You watched as he leaned back in his seat, giving you a curious look as you took a sip of your tea, wincing at the feeling of the hot liquid against your tongue. There was no way anything good could come out of this, especially if Jaemin knew something Jeno didn’t.
“Alright then,” you said. “Start talking. I walked all the way here in the rain for this.”
“All this affection Jeno’s showing you? None of it’s real,” he replied immediately, wasting no time getting to the point.
“A dare from the hockey team, right?”
He nodded. “At the beginning of the year, they do this thing where the seniors assign the juniors a dare they have to carry out by the end of the first semester. It’s usually harmless things, like running around naked on the ice or sneaking into the women’s locker rooms to switch their shampoos. My dare was something I didn’t feel like doing, so I purposely surrendered and chose a punishment. I have to now dye my hair every time one of the juniors fails their dares and I’m pretty sure Coach Suh’s caught on to what’s happening. They do this every year anyway, but he doesn’t seem to mind as long as it’s not something that puts the team at risk.”
There was a pause as he took a long sip from his iced coffee before continuing. “Since Jeno’s the lucky ace of the team, the seniors wanted to make it difficult for him by giving him a dare they thought he would certainly fail at doing. You know how competitive Jeno gets – nothing can stop him when he’s set his mind to something, so they purposely picked you as the victim because the one time that we managed to get Jeno absolutely plastered with alcohol, he mentioned you.”
You frowned. “What did he say about me?”
“I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it must’ve been enough for the seniors to set their targets on you. If Jeno could get you to fall for him and eventually get you in bed with him, he would win.”
You looked away from Jaemin, mind whirling as you tried to process what he’d just told you. Everything Jeno did and said, it meant nothing if this whole thing about it being a dare was true. You felt the beginnings of anger start to bubble up in your chest, disappointment in yourself that you’d entertained the hope that he could change. This was Lee Jeno and you should’ve known that once an asshole, always an asshole. You should’ve never let him get close to you in the first place.
“Sucks, doesn’t it?”
There was a glint in Jaemin’s eye as he looked at you, arms crossed as he took in the way that you’d tensed at the news of Jeno’s lies.
“I should’ve seen it coming,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance. “I really was stupid enough to fall for him.”
“You can get back at him, you know.”
A dark look flitted across his face, head cocking to the side as he leaned forward. There was something about the way he looked at you that made you nervous, uneasy. Whatever he had planned, you didn’t think you were going to like it.
“If there’s one thing Jeno hates other than making mistakes, it’s losing,” he said, a sudden cold tone to his voice. “Ever since we played hockey together in high school, he’s always been the star, the ace of the team. It was always Jeno this, Jeno that, look at what Jeno can do. He’s barely had to work for anything and the coaches always loved him. Even now, Suh treats him like he’s made it to the big leagues. I bet he would lick Jeno’s skates if the guy asked him to.”
So that’s what this is all about. 
“You’re jealous of Jeno,” you concluded.
“Anyone would be,” Jaemin scoffed. “I might be his friend, but the fact that he takes everything for granted while others have to work their asses off to be even close to his level is what pisses me off. He needs to be taught that not everything in life is going to be handed to him on a silver platter with a fucking bow on it.”
You shook your head at his words. “Are you really going to risk your friendship with him for the sake of some petty revenge scheme?”
“Wouldn’t you do the same if you were in my position?”
“I would talk to him, like a normal person.”
“Jeno doesn’t do talking.”
“Jaemin, do you realize that if you go through with this, things between you and Jeno are never going to be the same? You live together, for god’s sake. Imagine how much is going to change.”
“A change for the better,” he argued. “Listen, I called you over to tell you about what Jeno’s doing behind your back and give you an option for revenge, not to listen to you lecture me. If you don’t want in, then feel free to walk out that door and wait until he finally makes a scene of ending things with you. Then you’ll know that I wasn’t lying.”
You chewed on the inside of your cheek, conflicted by his offer. You really didn’t like whether this was going, but there was a little part of you that still seemed to harbour a grudge against the jock, a remnant of your high school self. It was like the angel on your shoulder was telling you to ignore Jaemin and trust Jeno, while the devil was whispering for you to be part of the plan and bring him down. At that moment, you didn’t know what to do, but with the anger still fresh, you had to make a choice.
“If this is about Jeno and Jeno only, I’m in. No one else gets involved,” you said sternly.
Jaemin smiled, all traces of the dark expression witnessed mere moments ago gone from his face as he drank his coffee. “Wonderful! You’re going to love this. Now, tell me, what do you know about parties?”
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“You’re coming to the party tomorrow night?”
Jeno gave you a bewildered look as you nodded, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, why not?”
“I don’t know,” he said, straightening up from where he’d been bent over to lace his skates. The arena was empty, since there was no official practice for the team that night, but the jock had wanted to do some drills on his own while you’d agreed to watch and do your own homework at the same time. “You’re not exactly a party person.”
“Maybe I want a change,” you replied, shrugging nonchalantly, the lie slipping easily from your lips.
The hints of a smirk appeared on his face as he stood up from the bench and reached for your hips, pulling your body close as his lips found yours, easily making you melt into his touch. Since when had you become so weak for him? His hands roamed against your lower back, making you sigh as his lips moved down to your jaw, then to your neck.
“I think I’m a bad influence on you,” Jeno murmured against your skin, gently placing a kiss against the spot under your earlobe, a shiver going down your spine as you felt his breath on your neck. “Turning you into a bad girl.”
“Is that complaining I hear?” you teased, a quiet gasp escaping your lips as he sucked hard, gently rolling the skin between his teeth as you closed your eyes. The hum of the lights overhead accompanied the sounds he was pulling from you, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest as he reached a particularly sensitive spot.
“No, but I like it.”
Stick to the plan, you reminded yourself as he brought his lips back to yours, his hips canting into your own. He lied to you, so you’re doing this to get back at him.
“You should be practicing,” you reminded him, pushing him away gently. His arms were strong against your body, only pulling you closer as you tried to escape your sudden confines. “Jeno, I’m serious.”
“The arena’s open until nine tonight. We have plenty of time,” he said, ignoring your attempts to free yourself.
“You might have time, but I don’t. Now, let go.”
“I’ll drop you off at your place once I’m done, promise. You won’t have to worry about the bus.”
Sighing, you let him press a kiss to your forehead as you silently agreed to his promise, reaching over to hand him his hockey stick and water bottle. You followed him out of the locker room, purposely sticking a foot out and tripping him as he stumbled forward, flipping you off with a warning glare as you laughed at his expression. Watching him push the gate open, he slid onto the ice, moving his arms around to warm up as you made your way to a seat in the bleachers. Pulling out your laptop, you began working.
The sound of skates against ice was soothing as you typed away, occasionally glancing up from your screen to see what Jeno was doing. Helmet off, you could see the way his eyes would narrow, tongue poking from between his lips as he would line up for a shot, the sweat making his hair stick to his forehead. You could feel the passion for hockey radiating off of him, the desire to get better, to improve, to be the best.
He’s barely had to work for anything and the coaches always loved him. Even now, Suh treats him like he’s made it to the big leagues.
Sighing, you rested your chin on your palm, no longer in the mood to work. It was hard to sometimes believe Jaemin’s words, especially with what you were seeing in front of you right now. Sure, Jeno was cocky and he liked to show off (any good player would have those tendencies), but not working for anything? That was something you weren’t too sure he was right about. As Jeno looked up at you, a smile forming on his face at the sight of you watching him practice, you smiled back, the feeling of guilt twisting in your gut as you tried to believe that everything would be just fine.
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The thumping bass of the music was starting to give you a headache as you sat on the couch in the corner, a solo cup in hand. Jeno had disappeared to who knows where and you were left by yourself, trying to ignore the couple beside you that’d taken to practically fucking in public. Wrinkling your nose at the smell of alcohol, you brought the cup to your lips, wincing as the taste of whatever Jeno had poured for you slid down your throat, the taste unpleasant.
I really shouldn’t be here, you thought to yourself, looking around and seeing no one familiar. You weren’t made for parties and it was painfully obvious. There was no appeal in alcohol or getting wasted to you, never mind hooking up and regretting it in the morning. It was all just a mess you wanted no part of, but Jaemin had been insistent that this would be the best way to get back at the red-haired jock.
“Now, tell me, what do you know about parties?”
“They’re a waste of time and I don’t like them.”
“Well, we’re changing that. The hockey team’s planning to throw a party at one of the seniors’ houses and since you’re Jeno’s girl now, you have to be there. It’ll be the perfect chance to make everything blow up in his face.”
“You know we’re not dating or anything, right?”
“But everyone else seems to think that, so prove them wrong.”
“Jaemin, I literally hate parties. I’d rather stay at home and watch shitty rom-coms on the Hallmark channel than go to some house where all I’m going to be surrounded by is alcohol and couples sucking face in front of my eyes.”
“It’s not all that bad. You just haven’t been to a decent party.”
“I haven’t been to a party, period.”
“Which is exactly why you need to be at this one. It’ll be fun, don’t worry. Jeno’s bound to get lost in the crowd somewhere and you two might a thing, but you can bet that he’ll be distracted most of the time. In the meantime, you and I will go upstairs into one of the bedrooms. You’ll send him a text saying that you miss him and you want him, and he’ll come running quickly if he cares enough. Opens the door and boom, sees his best friend and girl in bed together, which we can obviously fake if you don’t feel comfortable doing the real thing. Maybe he’ll finally figure out that you know about the dares.”
You remember being shocked at his plan, the smile on his face contrasting the words that’d flown out of his mouth. There was something in you that was telling you to just go home, to not do it, to believe that Jeno cared about you and Jaemin was the one lying, but with the few sips of alcohol that you’d taken, it’d already started muddling with your brain and you were tempted to see just how angry he’d be.
Feeling the buzz of your phone in your pocket, you pulled it out to see two messages from Jaemin.
Jaemin (10:02 PM): Show time
Jaemin (10:02 PM): Upstairs, second bedroom on the right
Raising the cup to your lips, you forced yourself to chug the rest, eyes watering at the bitterness of the taste. Standing up, you tossed the cup into one of the garbage bins and pushed through the crowd, searching for the stairs. Jeno was nowhere to be seen.
Second bedroom on the right. Pushing the door open, you found Jaemin lying on the bed, scrolling through his phone. He looked up at the sound of your footsteps, eyes quickly roaming your body to scan your outfit as you closed the door behind you. Raising an eyebrow, he smirked.
“You know, you don’t look so out of place dressed like that.”
“I feel like it,” you grumbled. “There’s just so much sexual tension everywhere and I want to get out of here.”
He laughed. “Did you expect anything different? Alcohol makes people do brave things.”
“Or stupid things.”
“Same thing.”
Jaemin pushed himself from the bed, swaying slightly as he reached for the nightstand to steady himself. Dressed in a partially-buttoned shirt and a pair of black leather jeans, you saw the hints of a tattoo peeking out from under his rolled-up sleeve. He looked good, real good in fact. You noticed a grin on his face as he walked over to you.
“Have you been drinking?” you asked.
“Of course,” he slurred slightly, laughing. “What, you think I’m some party virgin?”
“Don’t you dare vomit all over me then.”
A hand made its way to your cheek, thumb running gently against your lip. You swallowed nervously, watching the way that his eyes had narrowed, feeling the sudden urge to bolt. Before you could, however, he spoke.
“It would be a shame if I ruined such a pretty thing like you.”
“Jaemin, you’re drunk,” you mumbled, looking away from him. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
He shook his head. “I have a good tolerance. This is nothing.”
“Then stop saying weird things.”
The jock opened his mouth to respond, but he was interrupted by the sound of your phone chiming.
Benchwarmer (10:07 PM): where r u??
“He’s asking where I am,” you said, looking up at Jaemin.
“Tell him you’re upstairs,” he answered. “And tell him you want to fuck.”
You snorted. “I’d never say that outright to him. He’d know that something’s up.”
“Then just tell him that you miss him or whatever cheesy shit you think works.”
Nodding, you began typing back.
You (10:08 PM): Upstairs. Second bedroom on the right.
You (10:08 PM): Come find me?
Benchwarmer (10:09 PM): be there in 10, playing beer pong rn
As soon as you finished reading his reply, the phone was snatched away from your hands. You let out an affronted noise, reaching for it as Jaemin held it over your head, chuckling at the way you struggled to reach it.
“You’re an asshole,” you said, elbowing him in the side.
“And you’re short,” he replied. “It’s cute.”
“I’ll walk out that door right now. Don’t tempt me.”
He placed the phone onto the nightstand and sat down on the bed, motioning for you to join him. Walking over, you watched as he leaned back and propped himself up on his elbows, regarding you with a curious look.
“He doesn’t deserve you, you know,” he said quietly. “You could do so much better.”
You shrugged. “He’s not really that bad. I used to hate him, but he’s growing on me.”
“This is Jeno we’re talking about – he doesn’t do relationships. The last one ended with him cheating on the girl and they never spoke again.”
“People can change.”
“You haven’t.”
You frowned. “And what do you know about me, Jaemin? I’m pretty sure we just met not too long ago.”
“I know more than you think.”
He moved to lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Jeno moved schools right before starting twelfth grade and came to my high school. I knew him before that though, since we played travel hockey together, but there were lots of times that our high schools ended up being rivals in sports. I was never good at remembering names, but I recalled seeing you peeking into the arena whenever our team would be there. Jeno did tell me who you were, but there was always something about the way he said it that made me want to know more about you, so I questioned him and tried to not make him suspicious. Of course, I was too scared that you would freak out over some random guy talking to you, so I always kept my distance and never actually approached you. Every year, I’d somehow find a way to see you, but you never looked my way. It wasn’t until you happened to be in one of my classes in first year that I finally made the connection to the girl I’d seen back then.”
“You were in one of my classes?”
“More than one, actually. You took a creative studies course and a film course in first year, both of which I was in as well. I sat more towards the back and didn’t talk much, which explains why you didn’t know I was there.”
“I don’t really talk to many people in general,” you confessed. “I’ve always kept to myself.”
“Jeno told me he was a dick to you back then,” he said. “I guess your shyness must’ve pissed him off.”
You rolled your eyes, copying the way Jaemin was laying on the bed. “Dick is an understatement. He was more than that.”
“I would’ve treated you right.”
Looking at Jaemin, you felt something faintly stir in your chest as his eyes met yours. How had you not noticed him before? You could tell that he was much different than Jeno, someone with actual feelings and a heart. Maybe he was right, maybe he would’ve treated you better if you’d chosen him over Jeno. As he raised a hand up to cup your cheek, there was a faint smile on his face.
“Can I kiss you?”
“What about Jen-“
“Jeno’s not here right now. I am.”
You let him bring your face closer to his, hovering just over your lips as he waited for your answer. Nodding, you let him kiss you, thumb gently running against your cheek. Placing your own hand against his chest, his other hand guided you to carefully straddle his hips, resting against your lower back as you willed Jeno out of your mind. He’s not here right now, you reminded yourself, the alcohol making you confident. Think of the plan.
Jaemin’s hands were gentle against your skin, a contrast to Jeno’s urgent and rushed demeanor. Working his way down your neck, you closed your eyes and let him suck a bruise into your skin, your mind focused on the way that his mouth moved. You let out a gasp when his hands brushed a particularly sensitive spot on your back, nails gently skimming against it repeatedly as your body curled in on itself against his, the need to pull away parallel with the need to stay in the same position.
“Someone’s sensitive,” he murmured, the smile evident in his words.
“God, Jaem-ah!”
“Let me make you feel good.”
Hand roaming down to your thigh, you felt him push your skirt up, fingers teasingly making their way up to slip past your panties. A moan escaped your lips as he ran a finger up your soaked slit, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest as he watched your reactions, eyes taking in every little movement. Everything about Jaemin screamed the opposite of Jeno, from the way that he brushed the hair out of your face to the words he whispered in your ear, the sweet nothings that filled you with pleasure as he worked a finger into your cunt and added a second, your hips rocking against his hand as he finger-fucked you.
“Such a good girl,” he praised, the praise sending a shiver down your spine. “So responsive. Bet Jeno is rough with you, isn't he?”
You nodded, earning yourself a hum of approval as he curled his fingers against your walls and rewarded you with slow circles against your clit. Slowly, the tension began to build until you finally felt your orgasm start from your toes and move upward, your walls tensing around his fingers as Jaemin let you ride it out against his hand, eyes glinting at the way you moaned his name, head thrown back at the feeling, your body ever so sensitive to his actions. In that moment, your mind was only filled with him, every thought of Jeno pushed away.
Until you heard his voice.
“What the fuck?!”
Your head snapped around to see Jeno standing in the doorway, one hand gripping the handle tightly while the other rested at his side, already clenched into a fist. His eyes were ablaze, his jaw tensed as you froze in place, Jaemin’s fingers carefully slipping out of you as you remained straddling his lap.
“This isn’t what it looks like,” you quickly said, but you knew it was a lie. It was exactly what it looked like and you knew exactly what you were doing. It seemed like Jeno had also figured it out.
“Don’t even give me that shit,” he snarled. “Out of all the people here, you really went and fucked my best friend?”
“It’s not like you would’ve cared anyways,” you snapped at him. “I’m just a game to you, aren’t I?”
“The fuck are you talking about?”
Moving off Jaemin, you straightened your skirt and stomped over to face the jock, pointing a finger at his chest. “Jaemin told me all about the dare from the seniors. Every little detail. Did you really think that I wouldn’t find out eventually?”
It was Jeno’s turn to be silent, his panicked eyes flickering from you to Jaemin, who’d sat up and was watching everything. “You told her?”
“Of course I did,” Jaemin said coolly. “She doesn’t deserve to get her heart messed around with, especially not by someone like you.”
Brushing past you, Jeno stalked over to his friend and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him up to full height. “You have no right to say that.”
“Do I?” Jaemin said, cocking his head to the side. “Come on, Lee. We both know that’s not true. I’ve tried being nice about it, but you never learn, do you?”
“Shut up,” Jeno said, cutting you off. “Let him talk. I want to hear what he has to say.”
Jaemin smirked. “You know what you are? A self-centered, egotistical bastard who only cares about himself and takes everything for granted. Remember how much the coaches loved you back in high school? You could miss every shot in the match and they’d still praise you for being the best. You could get anything you wanted while everyone else had to work for it. Hell, you even managed to get her to fall for you, but we both know you never actually cared because if you did, you would’ve never taken on the dare.”
You watched as Jeno swung a fist at Jaemin, the punch landing right on his jaw as you gasped in shock, hand flying to your mouth. Jaemin let out a pained grunt at the hit, his body reeling sideways as you ran over to push yourself between the two. Your efforts were useless, Jeno pushing you aside to go after his friend once more. He paused, however, a cruel smile on his lips.
“And you really thought that I wouldn’t find out about your dare?” he said. “I knew you were smart, but clearly not enough.”
“She doesn’t know about it,” you heard Jaemin say.
“I don’t know what?” you asked, confused. “Didn’t you say that you bailed out on your dare?”
“Oh, she thinks you bailed out? That’s even better,” Jeno laughed humourlessly. “You got her good, Na.”
“Jeno, n-“
The red-haired jock looked at you. “You want to know what this guy’s dare was? It was to humiliate me, to make me fail in front of everyone even after I’d completed my own dare. This whole time, he pretended to be the good guy and you fucking fell for it.”
Your heart dropped at his words, a cold feeling gripping at your chest as the realization kicked in. You’d been played not just once, but twice. Jaemin had never meant to help you – he’d just wanted to complete the dare and get back at his friend. You were just another puppet he’d managed to control and you’d let him, trusting him blindly.
“You lied to me!” you yelled angrily at Jaemin. “You told me this was going to be about Jeno only!”
“I had to,” he said defensively. “Or else you would’ve never agreed to do this.”
You needed to get out of there, your mind too overwhelmed to think straight. Turning on your heel, you ran out of the bedroom, pushing past the people gathered on the stairs, not caring for the looks sent your way. The cold air of the night greeted you harshly as you flew down the porch stairs, the streetlights illuminated as you began walking, wrapping the leather jacket you’d donned closer to your body for warmth, the music fading into the distance.
An arm suddenly wrapped around your waist, pulling you from behind as your mouth was covered by a hand, muffling your scream. Your heart pounded in your chest, body wriggling to free yourself from the clutches of your attacker as you kicked and flailed.
“Stop moving, for fuck’s sake!”
Jeno. You stopped moving
“Let go of me,” you said coldly.
“Will you promise to listen to me if I do?” he asked.
“I said, fucking let go!”
His grip on you loosened, allowing you to face him and land a slap to his cheek, the sound echoing loudly in the quiet of the night as he brought a hand immediately to his face.
“Is it true?” you said, voice trembling. “Was it really all just a dare?”
He didn’t reply, instead choosing to look away, his silence already an answer enough.
“After everything I went through to give you a chance, it meant shit-all to you,” you spat out at him. “Jaemin’s right, you really are a self-centered dick. I can’t believe I thought you’d change.”
Jeno opened his mouth to argue, but you fixed him with a glare and he shut it. The last thing you wanted to hear right now was excuses and you knew it was all he was going to give you.
“Go fuck yourself, Lee.”
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You have 17 missed calls and 14 new voicemails from Benchwarmer. Would you like to play missed messages?
Playing missed messages. New message, Saturday, December 7 at 6:47 PM.
“Hey, it’s me. I know you don’t want to talk, but can you please give me a chance to explain? There’s a lot you don’t know about and I’d rather clear all this up than have you hate me for the rest of your life. Call me back if you get this.”
Message deleted. New message, Saturday, December 7 at 10:23 PM.
”Listen, I know you’re mad at me, but I can see that you’re reading my texts. Please, can we just talk it out? Jaemin told you the truth, but it wasn’t the full truth. Just call me back, okay?”
Message deleted. New message, Sunday, December 8 at 8:01 PM.
“Okay, fuck this. I’m just going to keep leaving messages until the whole truth is out. When the seniors gave me the dare, I initially planned to mess around a bit because I hoped that you’d forgotten who I was. Never did I think that you would still hate me and I didn’t even know that you’d be my tutor when Mira texted me. Yes, I took it as an opportunity to get close to you, but I didn’t know just how badly I’d messed things up in high school until that day in the elevator. I-“
Message deleted. New message, Sunday, December 8 at 8:04 PM.
“The fucking machine cut me off. Anyways, the more I saw you and got to know you, the more I realized that I barely knew anything about you. At that point, it wasn’t even for the dare anymore. It was just me wanting to know who you were, what you liked, what your favourite food was, what you liked to do in your free time. I just wanted you and when the realization crossed my mind, I knew I was fucked because you didn’t know about the dare and the last thing I wanted to do was push you away. Fuck, there’s something about you that I can’t get enough of and-“
Message deleted. New message, Sunday, December 8 at 8:07 PM.
“Just… fuck. I miss you, okay? You’re one of the only people in my life that I’ve ever truly cared about and the last thing I want to do is lose you. I meant it when I said I liked you and I swear on my life that I was going to tell you about the dare, but Jaemin beat me to it and that fucking bastard ruined everything. I’m so fucking sorry, you have no idea. I wanted to tell you all of this in person but you’re ignoring my calls and texts. Please, just talk to me.”
Message deleted. New message, Tuesday, December 10 at 2:56 AM.
“God, I fucking miss you so much. I’ve been drinking all night and I just can’t get my mind off of you. You drive me fucking crazy and I fucked it all up. Fuck, fuck, fuc-“
Message deleted. New message, Wednesday, December 11 at 4:00 AM.
“I’m so awake right now that I literally can’t sleep. My mind just goes back to you all the time. You’re everywhere I look. I can’t even focus on watching practices because I’m always looking for you, hoping you’re watching. I’m so sorry about everything and I just don’t know how to tell you that without sounding like a broken record.”
Message deleted. New message, Friday, December 13 at 5:35 PM.
“Hey. The team’s heading out for the weekend for the championship match up north. I think they’re livestreaming it if you want to watch. You probably won’t, but I thought you might be interested. Oh, and-yeah, coming!-I have to go. I miss you.”
Message deleted. New message, Saturday, December 14 at 11:58 PM.
“We lost. I thought you should know, but you probably don’t care. Coach kept me benched because of my injury, but I wish I could’ve been out there to play. It’s just difficult to see your team work so hard and have it blow up in your face. Guess it takes one to know, I’m great at royally fucking things up. Anyways, I’m heading to bed. We should be home sometime tomorrow. I miss you, a lot. Please call me back.”
Message deleted. New message, Monday, December 16 at-
Cancelling message replay. Would you like to return to the main menu?
Returning to main menu.
You have 17 missed calls and 5 new voicemails from Benchwarmer. Would you like to play missed messages?
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The waterfront was quiet as you walked along the path, hands in your pockets as the ground lights illuminated the way. It’d been ages since you’d last visited the park by the lake, the water stretching out endlessly and eventually blending in with the dark of the evening sky. In the distance, you could see a pair of cyclists, their luminescent vests shining with every movement. The sound of children playing and giggling was absent, everyone having gone home for the night and gotten ready to say good night to the day. You, however, were sick of being cooped up inside and found yourself at the bus stop, waiting for the vehicle to arrive as you’d let it roam around the city and eventually drop you off by the water’s edge. Walking over to where the barrier of rocks was set up, you carefully sat yourself down on one, closing your eyes as the sound of the gentle waves filled the air, the faint roar of the city still heard in the background.
You’d ignored all of Jeno’s calls and texts for the past two weeks, instead choosing to focus on your work and finish up your projects. Deadlines had begun to pile up and the last thing you needed was your grades dropping right before the winter break. Working on project after project, you’d steered clear of anything that could potentially remind you of Jeno, the arena included. Occasionally, you thought you saw a flash of red or pink hair in the hallways of the campus, but you never looked twice to be sure. You were still upset at both men with the way they’d manipulated you into agreeing to their schemes and then using you to get what they wanted. Jeno especially, the bile rising in your throat as you remembered the way he’d confessed to you, the gentle look in his eyes as you’d stared back, the way his hand had cupped your cheek. The boy who taunted you, now loving you.
What a fucking joke.
“You’re going to catch a cold like that.”
The voice made you jump, head turning to see Mira coming in your direction. She was dressed warmly, unlike you, a smile on her face as you gaped at her.
“Mira, what are you-“
“I was driving back from a friend’s house and saw you alone in the park,” she said, sitting beside you. “Thought you might like some company. What’s got you out here so late anyways?”
You sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“It’s Jeno, isn’t it?”
She gave you a knowing smile as your eyes went wide. “Wh-how did you-”
“His grades started dropping in all his classes, not just the one you were tutoring him in. I suspected it was something to do with hockey, but I had a chat with some of his professors and they all said the same thing. He apparently just hasn’t been himself and he’s reverted back to his old habits with his writing. I know you haven’t been meeting up with him.”
You dropped your head. “Yeah, a lot happened with him. Too much, actually.”
“Looks like you need to let it all out,” she said, nudging you gently.
“Well,” you began. “Long story short, the seniors on the hockey team dared him to make me fall for him and then get me to sleep with him, which he succeeded at without me knowing. His best friend told me the truth about it and suggested that I get revenge by working with him, but it turned out that he was also manipulating me to carry out his own dare and it’s just… I’m just so angry that I was lied to, that’s all.”
Mira was quiet for a while before speaking up. “Jeno told me all about it last week actually.”
“About what, the dare?” you said, frowning.
“He messaged me to ask if he could call and we had a pretty long chat about everything. He told me you weren’t answering his calls or messages, and that he wanted to tell you the truth about everything. Sounded pretty distraught and upset as well.”
“I don’t want to talk to him,” you muttered.
“I think you should,” she said. “There’s very few people that will do what he did, never mind calling a professor out of all people to talk to. He could’ve easily messaged one of his buddies for advice, but he picked someone he knows you’re close to.”
“I-I don’t know, Mira. I just don’t know who to believe.”
The young woman wrapped an arm around your shoulders, bringing you into her side as you rested your head against her shoulder. “I’ve seen the pair of you wandering around the hallways. I don’t think you notice it, but the way he smiles at you when you’re not looking – that’s not something that can be faked. I saw you wearing his jersey at the match too. Coaches have a strict policy about that, in case you didn’t know. They don’t want their players losing jerseys that cost a lot to replace, so they’re only allowed to do it if it’s someone they trust to give it back or care about. Jeno’s decision to let you wear his jersey wasn’t just a coincidence.”
She squeezed your shoulder. “You need to give Jeno a chance to apologize. There’s clearly a misunderstanding right now that neither of you can fix unless you talk to him. It’s affecting more than just you, keep that in mind. If he continues being like this, he’ll lose his spot on the team and get placed under academic probation.”
You hated to admit it, but Mira was right – you couldn’t go on ignoring the jock forever. You just had to suck it up and let him talk. Not that you wanted to, but you had no other choice.
“Thanks, Mira. You always know what to say.”
“What can I say? I am an adult, after all.”
You snorted. “Just barely.”
“Hush, you child.”
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The sound of rain pattering against the windows of your apartment made you wrap the blanket tighter around your body. You were snuggled on the couch, typing away on your laptop as the sound of a cooking show played in the background. It was the weekend before the final week of classes – one more week and you’d be free to go home for the break. Projects were all due before the end of the semester and you were lucky to be on track, only an essay and a few more assignments to hand in. With the weather stormy and angsty, it was the perfect time to stay home.
There was a sudden knock on your door that made you jump. Frowning, you placed your laptop on the coffee table and stood up. You weren’t expecting any visitors, especially not at this hour. Looking through the peephole in the door, you froze at the person standing on the other side. You watched as he raised his hand to knock again, but you swung the door open before his fist could connect with the wood. Caught mid-knock, the pair of you stared at each other. His hair was wet, along with his clothes, an umbrella by his side that seemed to have done nothing judging by his state of dress. His arm was no longer wrapped in a sling.
“What are you doing here?”
Jeno opened his mouth to reply, only to let out a violent sneeze. Rolling your eyes, you wordlessly pulled him out of the hallway and into your apartment, dragging him to the couch and forcing him to sit down. You went into your room to grab a towel from the closet, returning to see him shivering slightly. Grabbing the blanket you’d been curled up with earlier, you wrapped it around his shoulders, kneeling in front of him and using the towel to help him dry his hair off.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, trying to hold back another sneeze.
“You’re an idiot,” was your only reply, too focused on drying him off as he watched you narrow your eyes at him. Once he was dry enough, you stood up and went into the kitchen, making a cup of tea and bringing the warm mug over to him. Jeno nodded in thanks, taking it from your hands and drinking, wincing slightly at the hot liquid. You watched him with crossed arms as he put down the cup and looked up at you.
“Sorry for barging in, but I needed to talk to you and you’ve been ignoring me for the past month,” he said.
“I know.”
“I talked to Mira and-“
“She told me everything,” you interrupted. “I ran into her a while back.”
You moved to sit on the couch beside him, eyes now trained firmly on the television as you let him drink his tea, noticing that he was no longer shaking from the cold.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“Will you look at me?”
You begrudgingly turned your head, eyes meeting his as his cold hand moved up to cup your cheek. “I mean it. I truly am sorry for lying to you.”
Saying nothing, you simply averted your gaze, his hand dropping away from your face and into his lap, eyes closing as he leaned back into the couch.
“When we were in high school, I was an absolute asshole to you. It was stupid and you deserved none of it, but I was just so sick of seeing you be so perfect. You were shy and quiet, but you always did well on tests and the teachers loved you. There wasn’t a thing you could do wrong and I hated that. I hated the way that you could live your life so carefree while mine was shit at home and I had to deal with my parents divorcing. I wasn’t afraid of talking to girls, but you made me nervous and that made me angry, so I did the only thing I knew how to do right and took out my anger on you for no reason. You’d end up crying and I would kick myself for it, only to do it all over again the next time I saw you because I didn’t know any better.”
He paused for a moment before continuing. “Fast forward to first year and I’m seeing you for the first time since high school. You haven’t changed other than your hair getting longer and you’re no longer wearing glasses. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t know what and I let you walk away. I’d see you occasionally on campus, but you were always too busy doing something else and I didn’t want to get in the way. The seniors noticed the way I’d stare at you and when it came time for them to come up with my dare, you were the first person they thought of. They assumed that once I’d gotten you to have sex with me, I would drop you like I do all the other girls, that I wouldn’t care what happened after. The more I got to know you, the more I realized that I’d fucked everything up and if you found out the initial reason, you’d never want to talk to me again. You were never supposed to find out from Jaemin, only from me.”
Jeno’s hand reached for yours, gently interlocking his fingers with your own, an expression of sadness on his face.
“I meant it when I said that I liked you that day,” he confessed. “That wasn’t a lie. I know that it’ll be hard for you to trust me after everything, but all I want is to see you smile again and know that you’re okay. You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to. I just-“
“Shut up.”
“Shutting up.”
You tried to hide your smile as he suddenly went quiet, face serious as he looked down at his lap. Gently squeezing his hand, you sensed him relax briefly, shoulders sagging with relief that you were no longer entirely ignoring him. The two of you sat in silence for a while, holding hands while you tried to piece together your thoughts, only distracted when he sneezed once more.
“Come on,” you said, pulling him up to his feet. “Go take a warm shower while I put your clothes in the dryer. I would offer you some of my clothes, but none of them would fit you. The only thing of yours that I have here is a hoodie you left by accident.”
Jeno nodded, letting you lead him to the bathroom. When you heard the water running, you quietly opened the door and grabbed his clothes, throwing them in the dryer as he showered. Watching the clothes spin through the little window, you leaned against the wall, sliding down to the floor and closing your eyes to the relaxing sound of the appliance doing its work.
God, you had no idea what to do. Did you give him another chance? Or did you tell him to fuck off and never talk to you again? You were conflicted, your heart wanting one thing while your mind told you another. There was something in your chest that tightened whenever you looked at him, but you remembered the guilty look in his eyes when you’d confronted him about his lies that night, the way he’d wanted to apologize and you’d shut him down because you’d been too angry to let him speak. Internally, you hated Jeno and the rational part of your brain was telling you that you never wanted him back into your life again.
But he made you weak and you’d never felt the way you did for another person as you did for him.
You hadn’t heard the water stop, too lost in your thoughts, but when Jeno came out of the bathroom, you were startled by his appearance. His waist was wrapped in a towel, taut chest glistening with water and red hair still wet. You felt your face go warm at the sight, looking away as you heard him chuckle.
“What, are you shy?” he teased. “You’ve seen me naked before.”
“I’ve technically only seen your dick before,” you corrected. “That barely counts as naked.”
“Then why is your face heating up?”
You chose to remain silent as he knelt in front of you, tilting your chin upwards with a finger as your gaze met his amused one. Oh, how badly you wanted to just kiss him and forget your worries, forget everything that happened, all the lies, the games, the stupid dares. His lips were right there, if you just leaned in slightly…
The jock seemed to read your mind, the feeling of his mouth pressing against yours drawing a low moan from within, drowned out by the sound of the dryer. There was no rush, no urgency this time – just two souls reconnecting and trying to find their way again. He gently nibbled against your bottom lip, earning himself a pinch in the side, body falling to the left as he lost his balance. Just before he hit the ground, he wrapped his arms around your waist and took you down with him, your hands placed on his chest for support as you found yourself straddling his hips. Re-attaching your lips to his, you let him run his hand against your ass, gripping the flesh tightly as you deepened the kiss.
“Want you,” Jeno murmured against your lips. “It’s been too long.”
“Then have me,” you whispered back.
Lee Jeno drove you mad, but you couldn’t stay away from him and judging by the way his heart yearned for you when his name tumbled from your lips, head thrown back as you rode him on the floor, he knew it as well.
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Tuesday afternoon, the start of a new semester.
You pushed the doors of the lecture hall open, noticing that the auditorium was fairly full. The winter break had just ended and as nice as it’d been to relax from the endless number of projects, you were still wishing that you could be snuggled up in your bed, letting the day pass as you slept away. Alas, life was unfair and one could never truly have what they wanted, so you settled for the cup of coffee now in your hand and thanked the administration ladies that they hadn’t given you too many classes in the mornings. Walking up the stairs, you spotted a row of empty seats near the back and made your way towards them, waiting for the lecture to start as you pulled out your laptop and plugged it in to charge. After a couple of minutes, a familiar face walked into the auditorium, bag slung over her shoulder as she smiled at the assembled student body.
“Good morning, everyone,” she said as leaned against the desk at the front of the room. “My name is Mira and I’ll be your professor for this course. Some of you may know me as the TA to Loreia Sanchez from last semester, but the university has officially welcomed me as a full-time educator and I even have my own office with a window, which is exciting. Shall we begin?”
Just as the final word left her mouth, your attention was drawn to the doors suddenly opening, another familiar face bursting in breathlessly. Dressed in a pair of athletic sweatpants and a hockey jacket, you held back a grin at the sight of your boyfriend’s ruffled hair, now dyed black and swept backwards, forehead exposed.
“Sorry, got stuck in traffic,” he said apologetically, trying to catch his breath.
“No worries, we’re just getting started,” Mira replied, giving him a smile. “Third row from the back, by the way.”
He nodded, looking up to scan the seats until he found you, sitting in what was indeed the third row from the back. There were several pairs of eyes that followed him as he made his way up towards you, sitting in the seat beside yours and pulling you in for a kiss, hands gently holding your face.
“Are you sure you’re not in the wrong class?” you teased quietly when he’d pulled away.
He smiled. “Nope, I’m right where I need to be.”
And as the class began, you silently thanked those stupid seniors on the hockey team for meddling with your love life.
© AMORAJAE 2021. All Rights Reserved.
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jaeminncore · 4 months ago
mirror mirror
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PAIRING: Lee Jeno x female reader
GENRE: boyfriend! Jeno, dom! jeno, established relationship, fluff, smut
WARNINGS: explicit sexual content, soft dom jeno, fingering, mirror sex, sir kink, praise kink but also a little degradation to spice things up, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex
AUTHORS NOTE: requested by anon, i hope you like it<3
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Lee Jeno, your boyfriend, was interesting to say the least.
He was an absolute sweetheart, always making sure you comfortable where ever the two of you were. He was the type to wrap his arms around you from the back in a back hug so you felt safe, and also because he really liked holding you.
He was cute like that, loved skinship, and was always touching you in some way or the other. Watching a movie? You’d be in his lap. At the grocery store? He’d be holding onto your hand like a little kid. Not that you minded, of course, you loved every minute of it.
And this little habit of his, it translated everywhere. He was an affectionate person at heart (and probably due to the influence of his best friend, Jaemin), and full of love.
So really, it should not have surprised you when this quality of his also remained a very strong aspect of who he was in the bedroom.
Jeno loved touching you, he adored seeing the way his touch effected you, how you responded so keenly, the way you would patiently wait as he took his own sweet time just to drag it out.  You were nothing short of a good girl in his eyes, and he liked it that way.
“Come on sweetheart,” he said gently, although you knew he could take an entire one-eighty with his mood when it came to this. You took a hesitant step forward, with flushed cheeks, in all your laced up glory.
The lingerie hung from your body, accentuating your figure as his eyes roamed your body. Just the way he was looking at you made your wetness pool in your panties as you thought about what he could, and would, do to you.
He wasn’t reserved by any means, he told you what he liked and had pried out what you liked a long time ago, so he could please you. Jeno liked being in control, he liked the way you responded to it.
He got to his feet, kissing you softly, before pulling away with a devlish grin. You knew what this look meant, and it only increased your anticipation. He took your hand, kissing your knuckles and leading you to another end of the room, right in front of the mirror.
“Sit down baby,” he instructed, and you did so immediately, almost as if your body complied before your mind even registered his words. He sat down behind you, pulling you close so that you were sitting in between his legs. You could see yourself, the lace barely covering enough to be considered actual clothing. It covered enough to tease and entice.
He kissed the back of your shoulder, hands on your waist. You sighed, leaning back in his embrace, enjoying the way he held you gently. He played a little with the lace, before those hands of his snaked down your torso to the lining of your panties.
“Watch yourself,” he instructed, voice barely above a whisper. You looked at yourself in the mirror, legs spread out and hooked behind his, his fingers sliding over the fabric of your panties and hovering over your clit, making your breath hitch in your throat.
He pressed down, circling it agonizingly slowly. You let out a shaky breath, making sure to keep your eyes on his fingers as he touched you. It wasn’t enough, he knew that too, which was exactly why he was doing it. He wanted you to fall apart in front of him with every little thing.
You whined at the heavy handed stimulation, trying to buck your hips up into his hand. He chuckled in amusement at your desperate state, it had barely been two minutes and you were already silently pleading for more.
He slipped his fingers into your panties, the sudden cold contact making you squeal. Jeno resumed his motions on your nub, having a little mercy on you and going a little faster this time. His fingers slipped to your slit, playing a little with your folds and bringing your wetness back to your clit.
Your breathing got a little heavier as you gripped his leg with your hand, whimpering softly. His other hand grazed your inner thigh, making you shiver.
Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment and he stopped all motions on you, biting down on the skin of your neck as a warning. “What did I say, hmm?” He taunted. You whined, mouth going dry all of a sudden. Tutting disapprovingly at your silence, he slapped your pussy, and asked again.
“What did I say?”
“Watch!” You said quickly, eager to make up, “Sorry sir.” You stuttered out the name he loved to be called in the bedroom, and he hummed, sliding his fingers down to your pussy and plunging one in.
You let out a moan, and he pulled your panties down your legs, the lace sliding off easily, your pussy now in sight of the mirror. He kissed down your neck, sucking lightly to leave marks as his fingers found your folds once again.
“So wet,” he groaned, pulling you closer so that you could feel his boner pressing against your back. Without any warning he plunged his fingers into you, starting a fast pace as you arched your back, doing your best to keep watch as your cunt sucked in his fingers.
It was all too much, the wet noises coming from you, your moans and whimpers, the way he was practically growling at your reflection in the mirror. “Fucking slut,” he hissed in your ear, making you let out a pitchy moan, “Such a fucking slut for me.”
You breath trembled and you were sure you were just going to fall apart when his thumb lazily rubbed your clit again as his fingers skillfully moved in and out of you, curling at just the right spots. 
“O-only for you,” you managed to whimper out through your haze of pleasure, and he bit down on your shoulder, which was enough to throw you into your orgasm. You shrieked in absolute ecstasy, throwing your head back as he fingered you through your release.
Retracting his fingers, he smirked at the sight he was presented with in the mirror, your pussy was absolute dripping, and his were fingers were slick with your cum. He brought them to his lips, sucking off your essence and you whimpered at the right, because god, it was just too erotic.
“Bed,” he muttered,  helping you to your feet before pushing you on the bed, leaving you there all spread out and waiting for him. He released himself, giving his cock a few strokes before looking back at you.
Moving towards you, he lined up his tip with your entrance, making you mewl in need. Unhooking your bra, he pulled it off and you were officially bare. Leaning down, he began sucking and biting your neck and down to your collar bone.
He grinded his tip against your pussy lips, teasing you further. You bucked your hips up, trying to get him inside of you where you needed him the most. Jeno only grinned, caging your head in between his arms as he demanded.
“Beg for it.”
Your eyes widened, heat rising to your face as you mumbled out a meek ‘please’. This had happened before, of course, Jeno loved seeing you all desperate and whiny for him, so naturally, every time you begged only fed into that. He tutted disappointedly.
“Can’t hear you.”
“P-please,” you begged softly, your core throbbing at the thought of him inside of you and fucking you dumb. He shook his head, moving a little away and taking away all friction you had been receiving prior. You whined at the loss, and he stared at you expectantly.
“If you don’t beg,” he warned, “I won’t fuck you.”
The crass nature of his words made you look away, even though they, ironically enough, mirrored your thoughts. Rubbing your legs together for some semblance of touch, you pleaded with him.
“Please, please fuck me sir, I need you,” You bit down on your lower lip, bringing a hand up to cup your boob, pinching your nipple for added pleasure. “Please I need you so bad, baby.”  He groaned at the sight, pushing into you with no warning. You cried out, fisting the sheets beneath you as he fucked into you.
Jeno had never been one for taking it slow, thought he did sometimes. This time, however he could tell how desperate you were, and wanted nothing more than your walls around him. Hos pace was fast and erratic, always leaving you guessing as sinful sounds left the both of your lips.
“Fuck,” you moaned as his cock hit a place that left you a stuttering mess. You were so warm and wet and so fucking delicious around him that he couldn’t help but want more. 
It felt so, so good, and your orgasm was building up for the second time that night, and his words certainly weren’t helping. They were so wrong, so absolutely filthy and it shouldn’t have made you feel even better than you already did. Every time he told you how perfect, what a good little kitten you were, how well you were taking him, it just drove you mad.
You could feel his cock twitch inside of you and you knew he was close too. Bringing him down for a kiss, you moaned against his lips, begging him to let you come. 
The kiss itself was anything but innocent, with his tongue slipping into your mouth and you biting down on his lower lip. He pinched your clit, eliciting a shriek of pleasure from you, and growled, “Come for me.”
And you did, clenching around him so tight that it set his own orgasm off, and the two of you came together, his warm cum filling your insides as you whimpered weakly. The mixture of your cum leaked out of you and he groaned, pulling out and examining his handiwork.
“Oh if you could only see yourself,” he whispered, kissing your forehead, “The most beautiful fucking girl ever.” Jeno rubbed your back, whispering praises about how good you were, before wrapping an his hand around your neck.
“Wanna look at yourself in the mirror?”
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