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taybee613 · 2 years

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That was (not) Unexpected

Summery: Why is he being so distant from you? You find out why.

Pairing: Jungkook x f!reader | friends to lovers(?) | And they were roommates. Oh my God, they were roommates.

Warnings: Smut, angst, language, masturbation (m), Jungkook gets frustrated at the reader once (you'll understand), voyeurism, (If you squint real hard) mension of alcohol use.

Author's note: Hello! So, this is my first ever fanfiction. Really my first ever piece of writing besides from high school. So I would say I'm not really good, yet. Wasn't good in high school. Lol. I guess a little tidbit of information about me is that I make up little fanfictions in my head. Who doesn't, right? As I was making up a scenario this morning I was itching to write this down for some reason. As I was writing, I got really excited and wanted to share.

Feedback and tips are appreciated but please go easy on me. 😅 (There might be spelling mistakes, I know there has to be run on sentences.) Repeating of a lot of words. My vocabulary isn't very big.

Okay, I'm done. Enjoy! 💜

"Hey, whatcha making?" You quickly pop up from behind Jungkook, while he's making something on the stove. "Oh! Um, Gochujang Noodles." He says clearing his throat with a hit of nervousness in his voice.

Werid but you must have scared him good you thought. You giggle to yourself while walking over to the kitchen island, taking a seat on one of the stools.

"Sounds yummy. Safe some for me, m'kay?" With your stomach already rumbling from the smell of the food. "Okay." The small kitchen goes silent, minus the noodles that are boiling and vegetables being chopped. So you try to make small talk. Which is a strange feeling being that you two always talk about anything and everything when possible.

Before you start talking though, you look over and notice he's fidgeting a little. Is he nervous about something? Is something on his mind? You want to bring it up but decide not to.

Not being able to take the silence anymore. You ask "So, what are you doing after you're done making the food?" Stupid question but you know, to fill the void. Jungkook suddenly stops preparing the ingredients and thinks for a moment. Turning his head to look over his shoulder, not really making eye contact. "Maybe watch some TV. I don't know."

The tone in his voice is off. What is up with all these mundane answers? Is he okay? He must be having a bad day or something you thought. That's strange because you guys talk to each other about how you're feeling all the time. Maybe you should wait for him to bring it up.

~~~

It's been five days and he's still acting weird and distant. It's starting to worry you. He barely greets you when he comes home from being out with his friends. Not stopping in the kitchen to have your usual little chats throughout the day. Eating on the couch and watching TV together are eerily silent now, even with the TV on. This is getting awkward and scary at this point. Too awkward to the point where even you don't want to bring it up. So you decide to get some advice from one of your friends.

~~~

Relaxed on your friend Chloe's couch with a glass in hand. Sharing a bottle of wine that sits on the coffee table in front of you. Chatting, laughing and catching up with each other. Enjoying each other's company.

Though after some time you finally decide to bring up Jungkook but for some reason it makes you nervous about what she might say. You open your mouth but close it immediately, not knowing how to start. She notices this and raises an eyebrow in curiosity. Sitting her drink down on the table.

In a serious tone, "What's up? Talk to me." Closing your eyes with a deep inhale and a shaky exhale. Focusing on the words you want to say. "I don't know what's wrong with Jungkook. He's acting very strange and distant lately. I'm afraid I did something wrong and I don't know what. It's been five days and he's barely talked to me. I don't know if our friendship is drifting apart. I'm afraid to talk to him about it. But I'm also afraid to lose him. Am I going to have to move out? Can I move in with you? What do I do? I don't know!"

Her eyes close and she starts shaking her head side to side, trying to keep up. "Whoa whoa whoa, hold on. Pause. What?" You sit back, noticing you got too riled up. "Did you get all that?" you laugh nervously.

"Yeah, I think so." Her giving you a sympathy laugh.

Waiting a moment, looking at you with fond eyes and taking your hands into hers. "How about you wait a couple more days and if he doesn't bring up anything about it. You do. Okay?"

~~~

You took her advice and waited. Those two days seem to go by painfully slow. It almost seemed like it got worse. Like he was barely even there at the apartment but he was. A ghost.

In your room you were pacing back and forth, so nervous. Rethinking over and over again about what you might say. What he might say. Overthinking.

You look yourself in the mirror that's hung on your wall and tell yourself that it was time and that this shouldn't be a big deal.

You walk out of your bedroom and find him standing in the kitchen, snacking on something. Making eye contact, he's the first to look away. Also looking away you thought Is this a good idea? Are you even ready for this? Looking back up. No, you are ready. There's unknown tension in the air. You break it by asking "Can I talk to you for a moment?" There's a pause. He sits the bag of chips down on the counter, brushing his hands together getting rid of the crumbs. "Um, sure."

You gesture to sit down at the island. He slumps down in the chair, seeming disinterested. Another pause but knowing that he's not going to talk first. You try to look him in the eyes but he looks at everything but you. Internally sighing to yourself, you finally ask. "Is everything okay with you?" Pause. Jungkook stares at you, no expression on his face. You can't read him. "Yeah, why?" A two-way conversation. You mentally sigh, this is a good start but just the beginning.

"It's just that you seem very distant lately and we don't talk much anymore. Did I do something wrong?" Pause. You peer down and notice he's shaking his leg pretty fast. For the four years you've known him, you've picked up on his little habits. He only does that when he's very nervous. You look back up and he's looking at you. A feeling you didn't know you missed. Fixing his posture and clearing his throat. Voice sounding horse. "No, of course not."

There's worry on his face this time. Actually looking at you with feeling. Your heart melts. Is he finally back? Can you guys finally talk like normal?

"Then I would like to know why you've been so distant with me." This time his face looked of pure concern. You got scared but instantly ensured him. Grabbing his hand.

He looks down at your hands touching. Slightly biting his lip. "Kook, you can come to me for anything. I'm always here if you need to talk. You know that."

He pulls away his hand from yours. You didn't notice but as he looked away, he looked flustered. Back to square one. What did you need to do? What did you need to say? Nothing? You couldn't do that. A dark frog would fall over you. You don't think that you could live here, if you couldn't talk to him like you used to.

"Please." Tears started welling up in your eyes threatening to fall. "Talk to me." Looking down. You felt defeated. Pause.

"Okay." Looking up with eyes slightly wide. Wiping away the tears that had fallen. You listen intently, waiting. What could he possibly say that would keep him from avoiding you for so long?

He takes a deep breath in, staring into your eyes. Afraid but ready.

*I-... I heard you.*

...

Confused was an understatement. You don't even know what your faced looked like trying to understand what that means. He could read that loud and clear.

He took the deepest sign you think you've ever heard someone make and continued. "The reason why I've been so awkward around you is because..." Pause.

"I heard you masturbating"

Your eyes got slightly wider than before. Trying to process what he just said. Then click. It all made sense. This? This is why he didn't talk to you?!

A hugest sigh of relief washed over you like a tidal wave but then the slightest heat to your cheeks brought you back. Looking at Jungkook now, the look of embarrassment and shame was painted on his face like a big old canvas.

You laughed, you don't know why you laughed. Maybe it was just because all of this was just so funny to you now. Even he started to laugh a little. More like a hesitant laugh though.

You finally calm down and and speak.

"Kook, that's okay. I mean we've lived here for three years and these walls aren't exactly that thick. It was bound to happen." You chuckle while waving your hand towards him.

Even though you found the root of the problem, silence still fell between you two. Oh no. Looking at him, he looked like he wanted to say something else. You grew curious and had to push. "Is that all?"

A slight pink tint rose to his cheeks. Is he still embarrassed about hearing me?

"Yes." He says while rubbing his earlobe. Another nervous habit he does. Now you were really curious. "Well according to the blush on your cheeks says otherwise, Kookie." With the most smug and playful smile you could muster. You wait for his response.

With a sudden bolt out of his chair you're taken back by his sudden movement. He is now standing, leaning against the fridge with one arm up. Facing away from you. Did you say something you shouldn't have? Fuck. You guys always joke around, even when it's about something sexual. It's just two adult friends joking around. Right?

He suddenly speaks but you can barely hear him. "What?"

"I liked it."

...

"You liked what?"

"God! You are so clueless sometimes!" He turns around and snaps at you. You're taken back again. Like really taken back. He's never yelled at you like that before. Ever. Maybe just playfully but never this serious in hindsight. Looking down at you, seeing the startled look on your face. His features soften and he sits back down, staring down at his lap.

"I'm so sorry. I- I'm just so frustrated right now." He looks up at you, staring into your eyes intently. "You really want to know why I was avoiding you?

~flashback~

1:00 a.m., seven nights ago.

Jungkook walks into your shared apartment after a night out with friends. He calls out for you but doesn't get a response. Wanting to tell you all about his night out. He walks into the living room and sees you're not there. So assumes you're in your bedroom. Walking towards the hallway, about to knock on your door when he hears something. It sounds like a cry. Worried he's about to reach for the door handle but stops when he hears another noise. A different noise. A moan? His eyes go wide, wanting to step back but can't. Intrusive actions take over and he leans closer to the door. Hearing you, listening. And the more he listens, the more he likes. Pause. Wait. Nononono. He finally takes a step back. No. This shouldn't be happening, he shouldn't be liking this. You're roommates, you guys are friends. He looks down and see a noticeable bulge in his pants. "Fuck" he whispered. Looking at your door one last time, then rushing to his room. Looking around frantically like something in there will help his little situation. But nothing.

As the night went on, he lays there in his bed staring up at the ceiling. Noticeable bulge still there. Case of blue balls over here am I right? He's aching. Yeah, he could just rub one out, but this was different. The blue balls were caused by you. You. Now you may be thinking has he ever thought about you? The answer is no. He knows it's normal for even the best of friends to think about each other at least once. Not him. Yeah does he think you're beautiful. Of course. Too beautiful in fact. Ahhh! Fuck. But he's kept this kind of reputation of "not thinking like every man ape" going. Up until now that is.

He looks at the clock. 2:37 a.m.

It's starting to get agonizingly painful. All he's been thinking about is you. After this is all over he's going straight to horny jail. Wait, why didn't he think of this before. Porn. Of course! Pulling out his phone and headphones. He heads to any porn site he can think of.

He literally clicks on the first video he sees. Shoving his hand down his pj pants. "God, I'm so fucking hard ah~" he hisses as he stares at the screen. He spits into his hand. Taking his cock fully, gritting his teeth. Making long tight strokes. Spreading the precum that's already been sitting there, waiting to be used. His head shoots back in pleasure, dropping the phone to the side of him on the bed. Whining and whimpering. He's so sensitive. Breath catching in his throat. Picking the phone back up, he stares at it closely. At the women. Loving how she moaned. Seeing how her tits bounced. The way that pussy wrapped around the guys dick. Wishing that was his. "Fuuuuckk"

Wishing that was your pretty little moans he was hearing. PAUSE. "Ahhhhahaha shit" he nervously laughs in frustration.

"Fuck fuck fuck" he was getting angry with himself. But he just couldn't help it. He ripped the headphones out of his ears and shuts the phone off. He couldn't stop hearing your moans in his head. It's like they were put into a perfect little filing cabinet labeled "sounds you can't get out of your head" in his mind. Looking down, he noticed his cock wasn't even out yet. So he pulled it out of his pants and saw how red the tip was. He almost started crying with how much he's neglected it thus far. Laying his head back down onto the pillow, he turned his head to the side. Facing the one wall that connected your two rooms. He thought you have to be sleeping by now. But what does that do for him? Nothing. Not like you could help in the situation anyway. But...

"Fine!" He says through gritted teeth. Spitting on his hand again. Hovering it over his huge cock. Watching the sinful liquid fall as it hits the tip of his cock. He moans imagining it was your spit. Starting with the tip, massaging it with his fingers. Already feeling so close. A low moan rips through his chest and lands in his throat. You're on top of him in his mind. Riding him. Your tits bouncing side to side, up and down in front of his face, just the way he likes it. His hips buck up into the air. " Yeah... That's it baby, fuuck"

The grip on his shaft tightens. Feeling it pulse hurts so good. He's actually crying now. He wants to hear you, he wants to feel you.

You're literally in the next room. The thought of you touching yourself right now to the sound of him almost pushes him over the edge. Just to hear your sweet moans ring in his ears one more time. They sounded like beautiful music. Wanting to replay it over and over again.

"Please. Please. Pleasebabypleasepleaseplease"

Head hitting hard against the pillow, back arched off the bed. Left hand gripping the sheets, right milking him for everything he's got. Eyes screwed shut. Seeing Stars behind his eyelids. Breathing rapidly going in and out. Feeling slightly light-headed "Ahhhhhh~ fuuuuuuuck~"

Head is spinning, he's still seeing stars as he opens his eyes. Looking down. He thinks to himself he's never seen that much from masturbating before. "Holy shit' this is a problem" swallowing hard, mouth dry. Still trying to catch his breath. He removes his hand from his softening dick. Soothing himself now. Lifting up his shirt as he runs his hands up and down his torso. Feeling the high finally coming down.

Staring up at the ceiling again, not moving. He thinks yep, this is a problem.

~End of Flashback~

He didn't go into that much detail. Probably not wanting to scar me for life.

"So, that's it. That's why. Happy?"

You take a moment to answer but yes you are happy. Just getting to talk to him again, even if it was for something like this. Made you happy. "Yes." Shaking your head with understanding eyes towards his confession and frustration.

And you do understand, completely. So much so, that you've masturbated to the thought of him a handful of times... But he doesn't know that. Until now.

"Don't worry, okay? That doesn't bother me because, I have a confession to make too. I've masturbated to the thought of you countless times."

...

"What?"

"What? You think with you being as attractive as you are. See you walk around here without a shirt on. Seeing those beautiful tattoos. Oh, I've thought. I've thought big time."

You chuckle but merely to yourself. But when you look up at him he's not laughing. No, no at all. His eyes are on you. Hooded and dark. Piercing through you, gazing you up and down. "And when did you think you were going to tell me this?" Standing up slowly, he shadows over you. You gulp.

"I- um, maybe when we are both drunk and saying the shit that pops into our heads. I don't know." His eyes grow darker, if that was even possible. You're scared but not the kind of scary when you want to run away. The kind of scared of what is to happen next.

Without another word, within a heart beat he picks you up out of your seat with both hands around your waist. Lifting you up onto the kitchen counter. Moving the chairs out of the way as you watch with anticipation. Rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, he walks over to you. Suddenly seeing his forearms covered in those tattoos you mentioned. You feel a sudden jolt to your core. As he reaches you, you're in utter shock. Shocked that you don't even notice he's spreading your legs open until he's in between them. Putting both hands on either side of you onto the counter. Trapping you. Looking down at his lips, you see his tongue gliding between them. You glare back up into his "fuck me" eyes and he says.

"Now. Let me pull those beautiful moans out of you myself this time hm?"

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angelikook · 10 months

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Love Blinds

Pairing(s): Blind!Jungkook x reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 4.7k

Warning(s): Accident(s)

Summary: You are his oldest and only best friend, but why do you leave him all of a sudden when he needs you most?

A/n This fic was requested by the sweetest person on the planet, @thehopelessromanticclub. I know this took me quite some time, because I'm also juggling with work and uni. Nevertheless, I had so much fun writing this. While this was one of the hardest fics to write, I enjoyed every process it took. Fun fact, this fic is literally the first fic that made me cry when I wrote it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I've never met a blind or visually impaired person in my life. Everything I've written about blindness and living as a blind person, I learned about them from the internet. I know that there's only so much one can learn from the internet. If there are any inaccuracies about them in this fic, please let me know.

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There was one thing on top of Jungkook’s wishlist: to be able to see his best friend, you.

It happened when he was too young to understand the world around him. He was around four or five years old. One morning he woke up still able to see cars passing by, people walking by, he could even name all the colors he saw. The next morning, he woke up to darkness, nothingness, and his mom’s cries.

He met you not long after. He was playing in the park while also learning how to use a walking cane. After half an hour of successfully not walking into anything, he accidentally tripped on his cane and fell.

He wasn’t a crier. So as the pain on his knees spread – he was sure it was at least bruising – he still kept quiet. It went like that for a bit since he didn’t have enough power to stand up again, the pain on his knees was too painful.

The next thing he felt was the soft touch on his free hand, the hand that wasn’t holding his cane. And then, he heard a girl’s voice, “Here, take my hand. I’ll help you up.”

With that, he took the girl’s hand – your hand – and introduced himself as Jungkook.

+++

Jungkook fidgeted on his seat at the bleachers as he waited for you. Hands were already clammy to the point he wanted to wash his hands. You were supposed to come a whole 30 minutes ago and he was supposed to be listening to his coach’s briefing by now. He tried to call and text you, but you didn’t reply to any of them. In your defense, you weren’t big on calling and texting, you preferred scrolling mindlessly on social media and sending him memes.

“Kook, coach Lee is waiting for you by the pool, don’t you wanna go?” His mom woke him up from his deep thoughts.

Jungkook sighed. “I’m worried about Y/n.”

The seat beside him creaked, a sign that his mom took a seat beside him. “Stop thinking of her. Obviously she doesn’t think you’re that important.”

“She was never late, mom. This is just a one time thing,” he defended you. He never understood why his mom disliked you. For all he knew, she had hated you since the first time you met him back at the park. All this time, his mom probably only tolerated you because she knew how much you meant to him.

“The show must go on. Worry about her later.” With that, his mom stood up and left him again with his thoughts.

It took him around five long minutes to realize that his mom was right. The show really must go on. Whether you came or not, he still had a competition to win.

Just as he stood up from his seat, he heard someone run to him.

“Am I late?” you asked in the midst of panting, seemingly you've been running.

Upon hearing your voice, Jungkook smiled. “Well, I’ll be on in a bit. So, kinda?”

“I know you’re gonna do great, as always.”

“And I know you’re gonna ask me for a free meal if I win.”

“‘When’ you win, you mean,” you corrected him.

He laughed heartily. He didn’t know why but you always managed to lighten his mood. “I think it’s time to talk to coach Lee. He’s been waiting for me.”

“It’s your own fault for waiting for me.” You lightly pushed his shoulder.

“It’s your fault for being late.”

“You know why I’m late.”

“You snoozed your alarm again?”

“Yep.” You pushed him again, this time a bit harder. “Now go. The competition’s about to begin.”

“Go sit beside my mom, yeah?”

You huffed. “Your mom doesn’t like me. I’ll sit here. I’ll find you once it’s over.”

“I tell you multiple times to ignore her. I want you there.”

The swimming competition went just like how his other competitions went. He listened to coach Lee, shook the hands of other participants, swam like he was born for it, and won the competition. It was easy. It became a routine.

“But your mom doesn’t. I’ll be okay, seriously. Just go, your mom’s already glaring at me.”

The crowd surrounding him and congratulating him, him thanking them, and him waiting for your turn to congratulate him also became a routine. A boring routine that he would rather skip. He’d rather celebrate with the people he loved, his mom and you.

After the crowd around him left, you finally came up to him and gave him a big hug despite his body was still half wet. It was the 'you' Jungkook always knew, supporting him no matter what.

“Congratulations,” you whispered to his ear. “Again.”

“You sound like you’re tired of congratulating me,” Jungkook joked once you let go of him.

“I'm not tired when it comes to getting free food.”

Jungkook chuckled. “You’re lucky the prize money I'll get will be a bit more than usual. I can take you to that new cafe you’ve always wanted to try.”

“Really?”

He nodded. In his mind, he could only imagine how beautiful your smile would be and how the glimmer of happiness in your eyes shined through. And just like that, the wish to be able to see you grew stronger.

Knowing how his mom was towards you, Jungkook took the initiative to celebrate his win in two different settings: once with his mom and once with you. He’d always done that despite deep down wanting to celebrate it with both his mom and you.

+++

“What’s your plan?” you asked after you picked up your ice cream that he paid.

“For? Don’t be cryptic, please,” Jungkook replied in a bored tone.

“For swimming, of course. I bet you’re gonna get another offer.”

“Already did. Coach Lee wanted me to join this year’s national competition. He thinks it’d be good for pushing my career forward.”

“I assume you accept it?”

“It’s not like I have any other competition at the moment.”

“Yeah, you’re right, I guess. When will it be, though?”

“Still a few months away.” He laughed when he noticed the strain in your voice. He assumed it was because you were nervous for him. “If you’re worried I don’t get enough rest, relax. Coach Lee purposely makes me rest for around a month.”

“For a person who’s never been to a national competition before, you sure seem so chill.”

“If I stress it out, I’ll be unreasonably overthinking.”

“Good wisdom.”

“I know. I’m always wise.”

“Says the one who got scratched by a cat because they kept annoying it.”

It was true, though, he indeed was scratched by a cat once. That was one experience that he didn’t want to repeat ever.

Jungkook protested, “That’s just one time.”

“But that one time makes you not always wise,” you teased him.

“I’ll never win an argument against you, will I?”

+++

Time flew after that. Jungkook really did take a break for a month. If by break it meant he was swimming every other day instead of everyday. And once the month was up, he was training intensely until it was exactly a month before his competition.

Knowing well that you were waiting for him on the bleachers, Jungkook left you to change his clothes into his swimsuit. To say that he was excited for today’s training was an understatement. His last training ended with him beating his previous record. And the day before that, he received an email from the mayor that he was proud of Jungkook for representing his city for the next national competition. He basically was on a roll for the last few days.

So it nearly broke his heart, he could almost physically hear it, when he came to the bleachers and his mom told him that you left.

“Why did she leave?” Jungkook asked with his eyebrows furrowed. That was not very Y/n of you to leave without noticing him.

“Who knows,” his mom answered while gently nudging him to walk towards the pool, “She has always been rude.”

“No, she’s not,” he protested. “Something really did happen, mom. Did she said something to you?”

“Nope,” his mom replied quickly. “Well, you can always call her later. You have more important things to do now.”

That was what he did. He practiced, practiced, and practiced. Lap upon laps he did, trying to shake the thought of you, yet he failed. A tiny voice at the back of his head kept telling him to check up on you ASAP.

Once practice ended, even before coach Lee could give him a feedback, he went straight to the changing room, changed into his clothes, and dragged his mom away.

“Where are you going?” his mom inquired behind him. “Coach Lee hasn’t done talking.”

“I want to meet Y/n.”

“She’s probably fine, Jungkook. You’re gonna look stupid in front of her for doing this.”

“You always tell me to trust my gut feeling. My gut feeling is saying that I need to go to her now.”

“Do you even know where she is?”

Jungkook was stunned for a second. He didn’t know where you were.

“I’m gonna call her. Let’s go to the car first.” With that, he pulled his mom again in the direction of the parking lot.

Inside the car, he indeed called you, but no matter how many times he tried, they all went through.

“No wonder,” his mom commented, “That girl seemed like she doesn’t care about you.”

“If she didn't care about me, she wouldn’t have come.”

“Probably she’s in her moody phase. Give her some time.”

Having enough of his mom’s rude comments, Jungkook snapped, “Mom, please. I don’t have time for this. Just take me to Y/n’s house.”

“I thought she’s with you,” your dad answered after opening the door to a very worried Jungkook. “This morning she said she was gonna accompany you to practice.”

“She did, but then left without telling me.”

“We’re gonna try to contact her, don’t worry,” your mom’s voice spoke up. “Just go take a rest, you seem so tired.”

Upon hearing your mom’s words, he realized that his shoulders had been hurting and his legs were cramping. Jungkook sighed. “But please tell me when you find her.”

“Of course.”

But no one contacted him for the next few days. Not you, and definitely not your parents. As days went on, he became more and more anxious. His phone calls and texts still hadn’t gone through. It was as if you disappeared off the surface of Earth.

He couldn’t even imagine what had happened to you to make you suddenly disappear that day. Not only that, the fact that his mom became more insufferable the more he talked about you made his blood boil every time he thought about it.

There was one time when Jungkook, who never raised his voice at anyone, raised his voice at his mom.

“Right now, your practice is more important than Y/n,” his mom had said.

At first, Jungkook had tried to ignore her in hopes that she wouldn’t say anything else. But he was dead wrong.

“Jungkook, are you listening to me? I said, focus on your practice, stop thinking of Y/n.”

And just like that, Jungkook had snapped, “You’re not helping at all, mom.”

Little did he know that him snapping at his mom only made his feelings even worse.

There was also a time when Jungkook deliberately ran away from practice after hearing his mom’s words about you, leaving both his mom and coach Lee worried. Sure he came back later that day, but he had hoped it was enough of a sign that he didn’t like what his mom had said.

“She’s been gone for days. I doubt she’ll come back. She probably already forgets you by now,” was what his mom had said to trigger such a reaction from him.

And it was only the day before when Jungkook had yet again rebelled, this time to the point he was gone all day.

That day, Jungkook’s mom had said something along the lines of, “You should be glad that Y/n’s out of the picture, you can focus more on winning the competition.”

But to be quite honest, it didn’t make him focus on his practice anymore.

His time was slower and slower to the point coach Lee – who was never mad at anyone – stopped that day’s practice abruptly.

“Whatever problem you have right now, I hope you deal with it soon. I don’t want your head out of the game like this, especially not when the competition comes.” With that, coach Lee had ushered him home.

Later that day at home, his mom had also lectured him about ‘being a good son’ and ‘making your parents proud’. But he cared none of that. He still had a missing best friend to find.

His mom had sighed when she realized that Jungkook hadn’t been listening to her. “I don’t know what else I need to do. Paying for your practices takes almost all of my savings, yet you're getting worse and worse.” Then she whined, “Tell me what more I need to do.”

Only two words had come out of his mouth. “Find Y/n.”

+++

For a few days after that, Jungkook still kept at it with his acts. He only came to practice when he felt like it. Once he was no longer in the mood, he just left. Not at home, but somewhere where he didn’t have to meet his mom – the playground where you and he met the first time. He wasn’t gonna lie to himself about the fact that he frequently went to the playground in hope to find you there. But just like how bare his phone is from your messages, the playground was bare of your presence.

Sitting at the playground made him remember that one time when you and Jungkook planned to go visit your grandpa that lived just outside the city.

One day after sitting at the playground for sometime, he walked back home with an ache both at his chest and head. While the competition was getting closer and closer, he was still no closer to finding you. He almost ran out of time, and unfortunately, also his patience.

As he felt his cane touched the familiar gravel in front of his house, he sighed. It was time to face his mom again. But right before he opened the front door, he heard a talking voice from inside. He recognized the voice as his mom's. He pondered for a moment whether he should walk in and interrupt his mom. Then he decided against it when he heard his name in his mom's conversation. It sounded like his mom was on a phone call since he couldn't hear the other person's reply.

"–lengths I did for Jungkook." Pause. "I just want the best for him since it's gonna be his first national competition." Pause. "I got rid of his best friend." Pause. Jungkook felt like his heart stopped beating for a moment. "Yes, the girl who made him blind."

If his heart stopped beating before, now it was beating so fast. Adrenaline was pumped throughout his body, making his head almost hurt.

There was no way what his mom had said was true. None of it. Not the fact that his mom got rid of you and definitely not the fact that you made him blind. No way. His mom was just bluffing.

But as much as he liked to believe that, his mom still carried on with the conversation. "I don't know what else to do." Pause. "I've tried everything I could, but now he just skips practice whenever he wants." Long pause. “Guess I’ll try that. Thanks.” Pause. “Bye.”

With a huff, Jungkook opened the door. As he closed the door behind him, he heard his mom gasping.

“You’re already home?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I am, for a while.”

“Did you hear everything?”

“Not everything. But enough to know what you did.” Jungkook deemed it was the right time to let out his anger bit by bit.

“So now you know the truth. Why I don’t like Y/n and why I got rid of her.” It sounded like there was no remorse at all.

+++

It was his fourth birthday. Just like how kids who had birthdays before him celebrated their birthday with the whole class, Jungkook also celebrated his birthday with his classmates.

“Jungkook!” A little girl called him while running up to him.

He smiled upon seeing the big present on the girl’s hand. It was big enough to fill the girl’s hands full.

Once she was close enough, she handed the gift to him. “This is for you. Happy birthday.”

Jungkook accepted it. “Thank you, Y/n.”

Like any other class full of kindergarten kids, the class was chaotic. The teacher was busy trying to sit everyone down and left the birthday boy with his best friend on their own. That was a big mistake.

Little you had seen a lot of funny videos depicting pranks people do on their friends and wanted to try one on Jungkook. So just as Jungkook wanted to take a seat beside you, you pulled his seat, making him fall butt first to the hard floor.

Then everything flew by. He only remembered faintly. He remembered his loss of vision. He remembered hearing cries. He heard a lot of cries. From himself, Y/n, his parents, Y/n’s parents, even the teachers. Then the strong smell of disinfectant indicated to him that he was in a hospital.

There were also doctor’s checkups. A lot of doctor’s checkups. He remembered those checkups almost made him stay up all night. It was hard to forget how scared he was of the doctors handling him.

The only memory that engraved into his mind was when the doctor told his parents that he was permanently blind because of the accident. Then he heard more of his parents’ cries.

+++

Jungkook shook his head in disbelief. “You’re wrong, mom.”

“You’re still defending her?” His mom raised his voice. “Look what happened to you after she came into your life.”

“I’m defending her because the good things she’s done outdid the bad things.”

His mom grunted.

“Yes, she might be the one who made me blind, but she is – was – also the one who pushed me to become a national athlete.” Jungkook regained his breath before continuing his speech. “At the start, I didn’t really like swimming. But when Y/n said that it was cool to be able to swim fast, I was motivated.” Pause. “And don’t even talk about how many times she supported me, accompanied me. She never skips coming to my competitions and practices.”

All he said was true. As much as he wanted to hate you, he couldn’t. A part of him – a big part – still needed you and missed you.

With one last statement, Jungkook ended his conversation with his mom. “You not being able to forgive Y/n is the reason why my career almost ruined. If you really want me to succeed, help me find Y/n.”

It didn’t even take his mom more than three days to find you.

Jungkook was listening to a podcast when he received a notification from his mom. Words couldn’t explain how shocked he was when he realized it was the address he knew well – your grandpa’s house. With you on his mind, he left his house and went to where you were.

Because your grandpa only lived outside the city, it didn’t take long for Jungkook to arrive there. The familiar smell of lavender still lingered just like how he remembered it. He smiled internally knowing that your grandpa still took care of his lavender plants after all this time.

Right before he got the time to step further near your grandpa’s house, he heard a voice calling him. He instantly recognized it as yours.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice getting louder by the second indicating that you were walking towards him.

Couldn’t hide his smile because of meeting you again, he grinned. “What are you doing here?”

“I asked the question first.”

Jungkook sighed. Still the same stubborn Y/n that he knew. “I’m looking for you. Now answer my question.”

“Helping my grandpa around. It’s been some time since I went here.”

“But you never stayed here this long.”

“Is that a problem?”

Jungkook’s face fell. It looked like you didn’t want to talk about the elephant in the room. “I think I know the reason why you’re here.”

“Of course, I already told you the answer.”

“No, I mean–” he hesitated, not sure how to break it to you, “–I know the truth. And I’m sure you know about it, too.”

You grunted. “Jungkook, I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

He decided to just drop the bomb at once. “The accident when we were young, my blindness, my mom hating you and making you leave me.”

He heard you chuckle at his response. “If you really think the reason I’m here is because of your mom, you’re dead wrong.”

Good. He made you angry.

“I’m not gonna beat around the bush, if you have nothing important to do here, I suggest you leave.”

“Can we talk about this first?”

“What is there to talk about?”

“Everything!”

“I don’t have the time. Just go home.” Jungkook heard your footsteps, you were walking away.

“Please, Y/n,” Jungkook called.

“What is there to talk about?” you repeated the question after stopping in your tracks.

Almost giving up, he answered, “Us.”

“We should never be friends, Jungkook. Your mom was right to separate us.”

“Why?”

“Look at you!” you half-yelled. “Look at what I did to you! Oh, gosh, I can’t even look at you without hating myself.”

“Y/n-” Jungkook took a step.

“No. Listen to me first. I’m really grateful to know you. But your mom was right. I did too much damage to you. We can never be friends.”

“Y/n, I don’t understand what you mean by that. It was an accident, yes, you knew no better. But don’t think it was a tragedy. It wasn’t and it’ll never be,” Jungkook tried to reason with you.

“How can you call it ‘not a tragedy’ while you’re standing there unable to see permanently?”

“I lived with this for so long I almost forget what it feels like to be able to see. Being blind is a part of me now and I already accept it. But why can’t you and mom accept me?”

The next thing he knew, you ran to him and hugged him so tight he was scared that would break a bone. But another part of him, his heart specifically, drumming against his chest he was sure you could hear it.

“I’m so, so, so sorry. You don’t even know how much I’m sorry,” your cries muffled by his shirt. “I’m sorry if I couldn’t accept you. Never even think once that I have bad intentions towards you. I would never do those things to you intentionally.”

Jungkook patted your hair softly. He was lying if your cries didn't hurt him. “I know, I’ve forgiven you a long time ago.”

“I tried to make amends with you. I befriended you, supported you, accompanied you. I basically did everything I could do. But when I realized that you were nicer than what I had thought, I only felt worse.”

“I understand.” This time Jungkook brushed his hair through your fingers. Your hair smelled like strawberries, the exact smell he liked. The smell he had missed.

“And when your mom told me that you would do better without me, I believed her.”

“That’s where she’s wrong. I did worse, you can ask her. I couldn’t do it without you.”

You pulled back slightly, but not breaking the hug. “But you’re so good at swimming.”

Jungkook smiled. “Only when you’re watching. So, can you, please, accompany me again?”

“What about your mom? She would be angry.”

“I already explained everything to her. In fact, she was the one giving away your location.”

“That’s because you forced her,” you whined.

“To be honest, I don’t really care if she still can’t accept you. At least she won’t bother you, hopefully.”

You sighed happily. “Okay. I trust you.”

As he laid on his bed that night,

*Add a scene where Jungkook lays at night, thinking about how grateful he is for making amends with you. He also realizes that maybe he has a crush on you.*

+++

True to your words, you went with him during his practices. Although his mom never talked to you or even approached you, Jungkook felt like things were going better. At least she wasn’t talking bad about you anymore.

On the D-day, you came early – even before Jungkook himself – much to his surprise.

“You’re already here,” Jungkook said in surprise when he heard you call him. His mom was talking to coach Lee, giving him the perfect opportunity to talk to his best friend.

“For around 15 minutes, yeah,” you confirm. “Are you nervous?”

“Don’t even ask that kind of question.”

“Okay, sorry.” You laughed. Oh, how he missed that sound. “Hey, I don’t know if you’re allowed to eat a lollipop before a competition, but I’d like to give you this.”

He felt you pushing what felt like a lollipop into his hand.

“Aside from eating heavy meals, I can eat anything. So, thanks.” He opened the lollipop and put it into his mouth.

“I thought it would make you feel less nervous.”

“You know I can handle nervousness well.”

“You’ve never been to a national competition before, though.”

“Fair enough.” A sudden thought flash in his mind. “Y/n, I have something to tell you, but I think it’s better to tell you after the competition.”

Though it was a nation-wide competition, everything went quite similar like Jungkook’s previous competitions. Minutes before the competition began, he received a briefing from coach Lee, shook hands with the other competitors, and then the competition finally began.

Everything slowed down once he was in the water, it was only him, his mind, and the flow of water around him. Much to his surprise, everything went smoother and calmer than he had anticipated. He never knew that national competitions weren’t much different from his other competitions. In short, he was in his element again. He felt free.

Sooner than what he had liked, the competition ended and he was allowed to go home empty-handed. Empty-handed because he lost. He came in fourth place. Not as good as what his mom wanted, but for a newbie like him, it was just the beginning. He wasn’t sure what was the reason, but he really wasn’t feeling sad or anything.

Once he walked out the changing rooms, he felt someone hugging him. From the smell, he could tell it was you.

“I’m super proud of you. Fourth place in your first national competition? You’re gonna be a legend,” you rambled in his ear while still hugging him.

Jungkook hugged you back. “Thanks.”

You finally let him go. “I overheard coach Lee tell your mom that there’ll be another national competition. The organizer isn’t as big as this one, but he thinks it’ll be good for you.”

“Wow. Isn’t that, like, too soon?”

“Don’t know when it’ll be, though. You can just ask coach Lee.”

“I will. Thanks, Y/n.”

“So, do you have something to tell me?”

Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. “Huh?”

“Before the competition, you told me you have something to tell me.”

“Oh, right.” To be honest, he kinda wanted to regret it as soon as he had said it back then. Damn you to always remind him.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing serious.”

“It sounded serious.”

Jungkook groaned. “Do you really need to know?”

“Of course. I’m your best friend. I’m ready to listen to whatever you say.”

“Then I hope you’re ready to change that status, too,” he blurted. Jungkook wanted to hit himself as soon as he realized what he had said.

Y/n coughed, probably in surprise. “What? What status?”

Jungkook took a deep breath. “I have liked you since I could remember. Don’t you think it’s time to change our status from best friends to something more?”

There was a delay in your answer. Jungkook bit his bottom lip, scared you wouldn’t like what he had said.

“Right now?”

“Well, yeah, if you’d like.”

“Of course I’d like to.” Then Jungkook felt your weight on him; you hugged him again, this time stronger than before.

And without words, Jungkook felt your soft lips on his. It tasted better than what he had imagined. He smiled to the kiss.

There were two things on top of Jungkook’s wishlist: to be able to see you and to be your boyfriend. At least he was able to check the latter.

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