THE SI-5 WILL PAY FOR THEIR SINS IF I HAVE TO WRITE THE FIC FOR IT MYSELF! BLESSIE WILL BE AVENGED! (or my reaction to episodes 32-34 and mini episode 5 of Wolf359)
Sorry (again) for the delay, but I did warn you my schedule would be very inconsistent. Thank you everyone for your patience. At least I was able to finish these notes tonight.
Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.
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Episode 32: Controlled Demolition
I'm reacting to this while doing chores, so sorry if this is super brief. Hopefully it's not too plot heavy.
Have I mentioned I hate Kepler? Honestly the worst. I don't trust any of them.
Let's see...not a fan of Jacobi either. Of course I don't like Hilbert or his Decima project (which btw, it was very nice of the virus to not attack and kill Doug during his 100+ days alone in space without Hilbert keeping him stable). But Jacobi clearly doesn't know what he's doing, leave the dangerous chemicals alone!
Also the whole idea of Doug keeping someone on task...hilarious. Makes you wonder why Kepler REALLY gave him this assignment. Maybe to keep Doug distracted.
And then Maxwell. Looks like she has an interest in AI that's not entirely hostile, but at the end of the day, she's still working for the bad guys. When push comes to shove, she's gonna have to chose between Hera and Doug and Cutter and his errand boys. But I guess I hate her the least right now out of the three. She at least detected that Hera was in pain and is trying to do something. I hate to applaud someone for doing the bare minimum but that’s where we’re at I guess.
And Hera...you could have told Doug. He would understand. He's your friend.
I feel so bad for Hera. I just know they're gonna install some program in her that forces her to hurt her friends. It's only a matter of time.
Also, of course Kepler wants to play chess. That's the most villain thing ever, threatening someone over a chess board. Just once, I want to see a villain use a less ominous board game just to be funny. Like imagine Kepler with a nice Whisky in his hands mulling over a game of "Chutes and Ladders" or “Candyland”. It would be funny. Well at least Kepler embraces the villain aesthetic.
Though it's interesting: command doesn't know where the two years of Lovelace's life went. Or at least they claim. Now I'm curious. Was it the aliens? Is Lovelace a robot clone after all? Maybe Doug was right yet again!
A liability? Fire when ready? Oh my gosh is Jacobi gonna shoot Lovelace? Or Hilbert?
What was that?
Nice of Dr. Maxwell to make sure Hera wasn't in pain. But um...what did they just destroy on the Hephaestus? Another secret lab?
Oh my gosh. Just from the way Doug says the word "is". I've pause the episode but they better not have. THEY BETTER NOT HAVE.
If they did I'm gonna go insane.
NO.
THOSE BASTARDS.
USED TO BE?
BLESSIE DID NO HARM HE DIDN'T ASK TO BE CREATED! HE DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN AND HE WASN'T PUTTING ANYTHING IN JEPORDY! HE WAS A GENTLE SOUL. 🥺
JACOBI AND KEPLER HAVE FORFITTED THEIR RIGHTS TO REDEMPTION ARCS. CUTTER'S ERRAND BOYS DESERVE NOTHING. 😠
Mixed feelings about Maxwell. At least she helped Hera but...she did it so they could kill Blessie. I still don't trust her.
"It's just business" WELL GUESS WHAT KEPLER? Maybe my business is about to become writing 500 fics where the plant monster eats you! How do ya like them apples?
You all knew this was coming didn't you? You, person reading this right now. You saw my love of the plant monster and hate for SI-5 and smiled to yourself. You've been waiting haven't you? Well dear readers. Here it is. I hope it was all worth it to you. Because for the rest of my Wolf359 reactions, I'm gonna have nothing but hate and contempt for Cutter's errand boys and their stupid chess games and inability to properly inspect a chemical lab.
Episode 33: Don't Poke the Bear
Yeah Hilbert, Doug is allowed to be mad at you. Just because there are worse devils in the world than you doesn't make you an angel.
Hey that's actually a pretty good quote. Good for me.
"You won't even know I'm here". You know Kepler, if you threw yourself out of the airlock, then you wouldn't be here at all, you plant murdering psychopath. I hope you drown in your own Whisky.
And stop talking. And slurping.
Never thought I'd support Hilbert, but Here. We. Are.
Kepler. What kind of childish power trip is this?
Oh ew. Jacobi. Maybe you can help Kepler out the airlock.
Wait...are they trying to tell them how to do this? ARE JACOBI AND MAXWELL BETRAYING KEPLER? Or is this all part of some grand scheme? Jacobi still shot Blessie, so even if he is helping them, I really don't care, and I don’t believe it.
Oh ew Kepler. You don't get to call Hilbert out. THAT'S MY JOB. You forfeited that right when you shot Blessie.
And stop pretending to care about Doug.
"Mr. Ballistics Dummy" okay Jacobi. "Mr. Errand Boy" it is.
Yeah Kepler seems pretty paranoid.
"I'd kill for five minutes in the achieves without red tape" "She's being metaphorical" ...why do I not believe that...
And Jacobi...you seem unusually calm and laid back about this. Why do I think this is all you trying to trap them?
"Just because we do awful things doesn't mean we have to like it". YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. You're still morally responsible. Forgive me if a few tears shed over those you killed doesn’t cut it.
"This empty coffee cup outranks you" Kepler I hope one day your Whisky glass outranks you.
No decima research? Oh my goodness what a surprise! Command doesn't care about you Hilbert! Who could have seen this coming? Oh my gosh evil people stab each other in the back, I could have nevvvveeeerrrrr seen that one coming. 🙄
"He can be very...enthusiastic when it comes to guarding his secrets" Oh I bet.
THE WHISKEY SPEECH IS A ROUTINE SPEECH HE GIVES?
Kepler really is discount Cutter.
Ah...grand scheme it seems. I knew I was right to put Jacobi on my hit list. And Maxwell, it seems you're interested in joining the party. Welcome, welcome.
They didn't even deliver their letters? Man they are embracing the villain aesthetic.
"Kepler is manipulating you." Of course he is.
Solid advice Hilbert. "Don't trust me. But don't trust him either."
IT GREW HIS FINGERNAILS BACK?
Oh my. This is big. But then why does Cutter want to shut it down? Is he so against doing good that he won't do a good thing for society even if it will make him famous and considered a good guy for curing a ton of stuff? He really is the worst.
Episode 34: A Matter of Perspective
People need to be nicer to Doug. He has the least blood on his hands. And every time Jacobi and Kepler talk I lose brain cells. "I do evil but it's necessary" yeah, except it's not. It's literally not. What's wrong with you?
I don't care about the stupid superpowered three-legged pig.
Oh my gosh HE IS STILL GOING.
...
He can't even remember the punchline. Pathetic.
More music! 🎶🎶🎶
...They have board games?
Ugh. Pryce and Carter again. "The existential terror that is funzo."
Why is that in the manual? And if it is, why bring it to space? This raises so many questions.
Well at least it's not chess. Though it's no "Chutes and Ladders". Or “Candyland”.
Have I mentioned I hate SI-5 yet? Poor Doug.
Oh my gosh is this more funzo? Is the game even real?
"Hidden inwardness card"? "Time Vortex?" What sort of old-timey board game is this? Loyalty round? Wheel of ages? Sunken Idol? Celestial Steps?
At least Hera seems to like it. Did they bring it for the AIs? To keep them entertained?
WHAT IS THIS GAME. 😂
IS HILBERT THE REF? 😂 Oh my gosh he is being tortured.
Okay Jacobi and Kepler have history. But here's the thing Jacobi. There's a difference between a coach that pushes you to do your best on a football team, and a known murderer who pushes you to become a murderous psychopath.
WHY DO YOU TRUST HIM WITH YOUR LIFE JACOBI? He's crazy. Nutso. Why would you blow up Doug for him?
Oh. A forbidden picture of Doug. Maybe that's private. It does make me wonder about his past though...
"Reality Storm".
...ooohhhh... the "Golden Loyalty Card". How fancy.
I hope Pryce and Carter had fun designing the game. Sound like they really had a good time with it.
"I never wanted to be up here in space" well, then WHY ARE YOU HERE? WHY ARE YOU GIVING IT EVERYTHING?
"Kepler is gone" oh that's such a stupid cop out. "The old me died" nah, you're still here you're just making terrible life choices.
"Jacobi's a smart man" No, not really.
Oh great the pig joke.
Hahaha...that's not funny you psycho. That's not funny at all. It’s also clearly a metaphor for them. A slow death doesn’t make it any less of a murder.
Oh there's more? Is it just me or are the episodes getting longer.
It's his birthday again! And Christmas! Well, this is nice. They remembered this time. 🥰
"The same thing I do every night. I get older". Don't we all Doug. Don't we all.
Mini Episode 5: Long Story Short
What is the Argentinian incident?
Well I guess we'll never know.
Oh flashback land.
Yikes Kepler really seems to like to tell stories. HE HAD A FUNK BAND? HABERDASHERS? WHAT?
Well I guess even cold hearted villains need hobbies. Charges of insider trading? Saw Maxwell's feet? Okay that one was weird. What's out there in the woods? "I don't remember anything from 1987?" ...why are these silly stories getting more ominous.
Is that it? Yikes that really was short. Really short did I miss something? Okay, well I guess that's it.
Kepler should have stayed with his funk band. Maybe then he wouldn't be on my airlock launching list.
Thanks for reading dear readers. See you soon!
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