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#jessica randy
diabolicalworldwriter · 6 months
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I come bearing more Ash fanart because this is all I am anymore lmao
I was reading a fic by @chaoslynx (literally one of the coolest nicest people ever, go tell him he's awesome, yes this is a threat) and I just. Ash deserves parental hugs. (Ash deserves literally everything good, of course but we can talk about that later) so I had to draw just that.
the fic I'm referring to is this one, do be careful reading it, there's... yeah. it's a lot.
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Head canon that Micheal rips the paper wrappings off of his crayons when he draws with them, totally not because I didn't want to put forth the extra effort and draw them, whatever are you accusing me of?
and I am aware Ash is not that short, but let him be smol for once, he didn't get to be a kid very much.
I'll add some closeups/alt versions/in progress screenshots under the cut.
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neonscandal · 2 months
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Hello, how are you? I love your blog, thanks so much for sharing you post, Neon (sorry, can I call you that?)
I found your blog cause your BakuDeku and SatoSugu posts, and I was surprised when found out, you also a fan of Banana Fish, Fushigi Yuugi, AoT and Sk8.
Last week was my birthday, and one of the best present for me is founding your blog.
Can I ask your fav characters and moments each from Banana Fish and AoT? Sorry if maybe you've already posted this before.
Happy belated birthday! 🎉✨
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I hope you enjoyed yourself 💛 IDK how old you turned but here's to another year around the sun. I don't really do new years' resolutions, but, on my birthday each year, I think about how I want to spend the next year of my life. I hope your next year is extra special.
I haven't quite answered this so please see below!
⚠️ Spoiler warning for Banana Fish anime and Attack on Titan through series end.
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CHARACTERS
Aslan Jade Callenreese - Because of COURSE he is. Plenty of places to read about why that is but just know, he is precious and I know he deserved better.
Shorter Wong - Just a funny lil guy. But to know the walls that would have divided Ash and Shorter which they would have broken down to have such trust and peace between them makes everything that happened that much more devastating.
Eiji Okumura - To paint Eiji as some harmless little cinnamon roll does his character such an injustice. He was gentle but he was fearless and could be fierce and had such a teasing sense of humor. I adore him for who he was to Ash but also because he could be sassy and obstinate.
Jessica Randy - Bad bitch with a gun. Adore her for being just as mean as Ash and not treating him like glass but also being sympathetic in those moments where they really connect.
MOMENTS
Admittedly, I wound up having to stop watching Banana Fish part way through because it was so devastating and I was triggered. ✨ Took a month long break before I finished it and I have not watched it since. It just haunts me. I thought I'd read the manga but haven't brought myself to though I did buy Vol. 19 so I could get some closure.
Ash and Eiji's immediate gravitation toward one another from him just giving Eiji his gun?? and from the way he watched with awe how Eiji pole vaulted over fence and effectively saving them. Such a funny way to set up such an unlikely but perfect pair.
Ash shooting from atop the truck and everyone retreating into the Manhattan? river.. THE WAY SHORTER INSTINCTIVELY GRABBED EIJI?
Ash showing Eiji how to shoot in Connecticut, the way he softened up like they were just kids playing but then immediately had to retreat back to being Ash Lynx when he noticed other people watching.
How, even in his betrayal, Shorter did what he could to protect Eiji while in the mansion.
When they busted Ash out of the mansion, that moment of clarity when he realized Eiji was there for him.
Jack-o-Lanterns.
Every single father son moment Ash had with Max.
The moment Max burned Ash's photos. I could actually bawl right now thinking about it?
Yut Lung's revenge on his brothers.
Ash's triumph over Rick Fox.
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CHARACTERS (have a funny way of not making it to the end of the series, huh?)
Levi Ackerman - I think I just like people who are burdened and damned.
Hange Zoe - Their personality did not fit the confines of life behind the walls and yet.. there they were. Brilliant, quirky, compassionate and curious. But eventually carried the weight of the whole world which blotted out their smile.
Sasha Braus, Connie Springer, Jean Kirstein - My favorite trio. From Jean's artistry, to Connie's horrible comedic timing and Sasha's insatiable hunger. Just a recipe for hilarity.
Mikasa Ackerman - Admittedly, she lost her edge and appeal later in the series which is such a shame. I mean, they brought it back for the ending but just feel like her being this OP bad ass could have had a personality consistently to match.
MOMENTS
Attack on Titan had such exquisite exposition. This is definitely a series I always wish I could watch and read for the first time again. From the world building to the fact that, just when you get settled into understanding everything, your perspective on that world is completely rearranged. Now as a veteran watcher, crazy to find all the easter eggs that were hidden in plain sight.
The reveal at Utgard tower + their success in the box - As their first line of defense is fighting against dwindling stamina and dulling blades. Offset by the impossible odds of the newbie squads' success. Devastating.
Flegel Reeves' takes on the MP's - THE REVEAL. Also, what a way to emphasize their corruption in front of those shitty run down buildings. It was such a heart swelling moment.
Levi vs. Kenny in the city - their backstory and the animation of him flitting around and dodging bullets.
Battle at Shinganshina - From Erwin's incredible speech, Connie's awful joke and the difficult decision Levi had to make. SO MUCH. Such a phenomenal succession of chaos, honestly.
THE MARLEYAN REVEAL. Bro, are you kidding me??? With a whole new understanding of oppression and classism within the world.
The scouts experiencing life outside of the walls - Especially the clowns, the cars and the ice cream.
Massacre in Marley - The chaos of the attack on Willy Tybur's play to recapture Eren but also showcase the growth of the Scouts in Paradis and the fact that their freedom still came at the cost of other people who also weren't free.
Sasha Braus' Murderer's reveal - Gabi and Falco finding their way to the Braus' was one thing. But to be turned upon by someone who wanted to help them get back home and the only Maryleyan they met because of Sasha while being spared by her father? What a turning point.
Ymir's origin story and how that devolved into the world her descendants suffer in now.
FINDING OUT EREN WAS BEHIND EVERYTHING!? Even the death of his own mother and the slaughter of the royal family perpetrated by his father. All to engineer a future where he, too, knowingly would be killed. Knowing this and rewatching it just... it was there all along.
ALSO Levi Ackerman's back story from the OVA - man has been suffering since birth.
Recalling all of this makes me want to rewatch AOT again, TBH.
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A happy mother's day to Jessica who obviously loves her children all equally and doesn't play favorites at all 🥰
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terulover · 10 months
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✟PINNED ✟
this is a new blog and the media i write for/about as well as rules can be found further below
i strictly write x reader. However i will do any sort of formatting (one shots, headcannons, multiple parts of the same work)
my work may contain sensitive/dark content and there will always be a warning if that is the case
i do accept requests !
this blog is mainly centered around death note, but i may occasionally write for other anime
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WHAT/WHO I WRITE FOR
DEATH NOTE
Teru Mikami
Light Yagami
L Lawliet
Misa Amane
Mihael Kheel/Mello
Nate River/Near
Naomi Misora
BANANA FISH
Ash Lynx
Eiji Okumura
Sing Soo Ling
Yut Lung
Bones
Jessica Randy
OHSHC
Harhui Fujioka
Kyoya Ootori
Tamaki Suoh
Takashi Morinozuka
Devilman Crybaby
Ryo Asuka
Akira Fudo
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RULES
I will write any type of content ! (both nsfw and sfw)
i take requests for any of the media mentioned above
I will write about dark subject matter but i will not write about the topics listed in the bullet point below
Eating disorders, Pedophilia, Incest, Rape/Non-con, intense gore, and certain kinks
if i deny your request for any reason i will explain why !
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lysses · 2 years
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Jessica: YOU WERE STABBED
Ash: Lightly stabbed
Max: You could've died man
Ash: The doctor said all the bleedings internal. Thats where the bloods supposed to be.
✨✨✨✨✨✨Later That Day✨✨✨✨✨
Eiji: Ash what do you mean you were fricking stabbed and went to a Library!
Ash: I wanted to read you letter?
Eiji: That's the dumbest shit I have ever heard and I've sat next to sleep talking Sing
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chaoslynx · 7 months
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Word Count: 3632
It felt like winning against his own body—for once. God, for once, he could control something about himself. So he didn't really notice when it started to cross a line, when he started to lose that control that he fought so hard to maintain. Not until it was too late, at least. Because after that first time, when he fainted? He knew he was slipping, but ... Holy shit, it felt like he was winning for once in his goddamn life. Take that, he wanted to say to his body, no matter how childish it was. I'm in control now. You're at my mercy for once. But he wasn't in control. Not really. And that became clear very quickly.
Safe at last, Ash tries to control what little he can in his life, starting with his food intake.
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I wanna know why Jessica and Max divorced
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bananafishmanga · 2 years
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Hello there Jessica Randy fans.
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flowers-that-sing · 11 months
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look at the rainbow between them. theyre both queer . both of them.
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rosies-den · 8 months
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GUYS
Anyone else here ship Max, Ibe and Jessica and think their dynamic as a three has a lot of potential and romantic tension, subtext and/or just really likes the three of them?
Anyone? Please? 🥺
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brainrots-things · 1 year
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Here’s an OLDDD banana fish edit i made (Probably abt a year old)
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neonscandal · 2 years
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Gentle Into That Good Night
⚠️ CW: Covers or implies heavy topics from Banana Fish (so spoilers but no trauma added)
Genre: Fix It, Hurt/Comfort implied
Word Count: 4.3K
Status: Complete (maybe it needs another chapter or epilogue?)
Summary: Ash’s decision to check out in the New York Library is interrupted. This is the story after.
EXCERPT
Yet, in his final moments, when life is said to flash before one’s eyes, he didn’t recall his harrowing young life, years spent under Dino’s thumb or the vile things he’d suffered throughout. While his mind briefly settled on those he’d reunite with if there were such a thing as an afterlife, Skip, his brother, Shorter.. he couldn’t help but selfishly be consumed with thoughts of Eiji. Perhaps this was a kindness in and of itself. Eiji, a short-lived bright spot in a life ensconced in suffering, now a gentle shepherd into the next life.
A/N: The way Banana Fish ended ceaselessly haunts me so this is an attempt to right that. Additional notes at the bottom.
It was like falling asleep in the car on a long drive and waking up in your own bed. Ash hadn’t known safety like that his entire life but was surprised to find it just as he was bleeding out in the New York Library. “I guess… this is just what it feels like…”
Something about accepting fate, feeling one with the leopard who’d found itself too high up on a mountain top… these metaphorical underpinnings volleyed in his head as his consciousness slipped away like sand in a time turner. That wasn’t completely true. He also thought of Eiji with his warm eyes and unburdened smile. For a moment, he caught a glimpse of the face Eiji made the last time they saw each other in the hospital. He recalled those begging eyes and tried hard not to wonder what all they asked of him in that moment. Anything beyond a “go… please,” would have hurt far more than what he was experiencing now and surely would have shaken Ash’s resolve.
But now, hostages safe, government plot thwarted, Eiji safe and sound on his way home… Ash found a bitter respite at the tip of Lao’s blade. Sing and Ash had brokered peace though Lao never would have known. Ash rationalized this a lot longer than it took for him to shoot his assailant dead. Furthering the notion in his mind that he was an irredeemable monster. Morality and revenge would no longer grip him, he knew that much and smiled into the pages of Eiji’s letter as his vision faded, blurred with tears. As the quiet bustle of the library muffled around him, he released a labored breath. In some way, dying by Lao’s hand felt like atonement for the part he played in Shorter’s death. It was the only relief he allowed himself as the deafening sound of his heartbeat mimicked that of footsteps.
If he’d thought about it, really thought about it, he’d probably have a dry laugh at the cruel irony. Ash Lynx, devil of New York City, taken out by a seemingly random act of violence. Surrounded by guns and hitmen, Ash never would have thought his death would be so… simple. The life he led certainly wasn’t. He was never going to be someone who died peacefully in his sleep, he didn’t deserve such monotony. He’d been the executioner for far too many people, he knew better than anyone that eventually he would die the same way he lived. Violently. Yet, in his final moments, when life is said to flash before one’s eyes, he didn’t recall his harrowing young life, years spent under Dino’s thumb or the vile things he’d suffered throughout. While his mind briefly settled on those he’d reunite with if there were such a thing as an afterlife, Skip, his brother, Shorter.. he couldn’t help but selfishly be consumed with thoughts of Eiji. Perhaps this was a kindness in and of itself. Eiji, a short-lived bright spot in a life ensconced in suffering, now a gentle shepherd into the next life.
“I hope you live… a long life. Eiji…. Eiji…”
“Not quite, kid.”
Ash’s eyes blinked open with a start. Suddenly, his senses were firing on all cylinders. Odd beeps and the hum of machines that surrounded him filled his ears. The sterile smell of industrial cleaner tickled his nose. Bright, unkind fluorescent lights stung at his eyes and pain sharply bit at the entry wound that had been expertly tended to. His eyes darted to the familiar voice across the room.
“Just dear old Dad!” Max smiled toothily as he took a generous bite out of an apple, presumably from Ash’s meal tray.
“What the-“Ash scrunched up his face disapprovingly. He’d finally felt at peace after a lifetime of turbulence. While initially unexpected, this new turn of events seemed to challenge the calm he’d managed to cultivate in his final moments. He pulled at the errant wires that spilled from his chest and yanked out the IV on his hand angrily.
“Relax a bit, you’re going to bust a stitch or something,” Max held up a hand defensively, no longer reclining leisurely in the visitor’s chair. He wasn’t sure what to make of Ash’s demeanor but knew all too well that Ash would take little heed to his words and prepared to restrain him if necessary. “You need to take it easy, you’re still a bit raw.”
“Why am I here!? What am I- how? How is it that I’m still here?” Ash’s face seemed wild and cagey. Reality shifted into focus as he grounded himself in his current surroundings. Not some twisted afterlife or, more reliably, a back-alley clinic. He was in a hospital just as legitimate as the one Eiji’d been sent to after being shot. He instinctively drew his right hand around his left wrist, expecting handcuffs.
“You should be glad, kid. And keep your voice down, there are sick people, you know,” Max muttered. He knew better than to touch Ash to comfort him but didn’t expect such dismay upon waking in the land of the living. In fact, he’d been at Ash’s bedside all night just to be the first person he’d see when he realized all was well. This was not the reaction he expected a front row seat to.
Ash turned up his nose haughtily. “I shouldn’t be here. Why would you bring me here?”
“I didn’t bring you here, you were found in a pool of blood after being stabbed and I’m the guy they call in case of emergency. I’m touched, by the way.” Max rolled his eyes while crossing his arms. This felt a bit more like the insolence he’d come to expect from Ash though it still seemed off. “What I don’t get is why you decided to take a nap instead of getting patched up in the first place, brat,” he pouted.
“I just-“
“And where the hell were you when you should have been seeing Eiji off? Sing told us he saw you, why didn’t you come? You should have seen the look on Eiji’s face when he realized he-“
“Stop. Don’t bring him up. I just need to get out of here.” Ash lunged forward as if to get out of bed, unaccustomed to the wear on his body. He’d been scrapping through injury after injury for several months. Perhaps running on pure adrenaline. This felt like the first time he’d allowed himself to feel the weight of his own existence in a while. His attempt to stand was hampered by his own pain and exhaustion.
“Let them take care of you. You’re already patched up, you just need to rest.” Max cocked an eyebrow suspiciously. He settled back into his seat warily. “Why don’t you want to talk about him? What’s there not to talk about? Ibe told me he booked you a ticket and you didn’t even bother to show. I guess now we know why… busy getting stabbed and all but-”
“That’s not it.” Ash leaned back into bed, wincing in pain. “Guy like me has no business around someone like him.” He studied his hands in disgust. In his eyes, his pale skin was drenched in blood. How could he ever allow such vulgarity to sully Eiji further? He’d asked too much of Eiji in the first place when he’d begged him to stay by his side. It’s what ultimately got him hurt, Ash was sure of this. In turn, Ash honored that commitment by carefully extracting him from his life, ensuring that harm would never come to him again.
“Since when!?” Max stifled an incredulous laugh. Ash and Eiji had been largely inseparable since the first time they met. Obstacles that separated them never kept them apart for long. The past few months demonstrated to those near and far that Ash and Eiji were one another’s Achilles Heels. Now that the threat of danger was finally abated, why would Ash take such a forcible step back? This wasn’t exactly Max’s field of expertise, but he couldn’t ignore such a glaring dissonance in behavior.
The more time Max had spent with and helping Ash, the more he saw “Ash Lynx” for the veneer that it was. The boy before him, laid out in a hospital bed, scared and alone, was Griffin’s kid brother. He’d not known Aslan but pieces had come together over time. The abuse he suffered, the lack of concern and protection, the survival instinct. That’s what forged Ash Lynx. Max felt a duty to him and to Griffin. Perhaps what he felt now was a bit more than duty. He had a genuine sense of care and a tinge that things weren’t adding up. Call it a hunch but he had to know. “What’s really going on? It just doesn’t make any sense.”
“I don’t deserve to face him, I don’t deserve-“
“What the hell is that? Deserve? So, you don’t show up the airport to see off a guy who just spent months in the trenches with you? That’s all you’ve got for your battle buddy? You don’t deserve-“
“It would have been easier for him if I didn’t. It would have been easier if I never woke up!” Ash lashed out exasperatedly. The familiar guilt felt heavy and formed a ball in his throat. To an extent, Max had a point. He owed Eiji but the balance on that ledger would never be cleared. He’d put him through so much and the intensity of that realization caused him to absently grab at his chest in anguish.
“What the hell, kid?” Max leaned forward and put a reassuring hand out before realizing his concern didn’t supersede Ash’s comfort. His hand hung suspended in the air, waiting for a cue that he could console the boy who continued to shrink in on himself. “I just don’t know what would make you think that..” he offered quietly, his hand falling back on his lap. He studied the anguish on Ash’s face. “Whole lotta people wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you. Myself included.”
“Pretty sure there are more people who would be here if they’d never crossed paths with me,” Ash spat through gritted teeth. He drew his knees to his chest and dragged his fingers through his hair.
This was a side of Ash he wasn’t expecting. Max had witnessed a rabid relentlessness as Ash took back every inch of territory Arthur, Dino and the Lee brothers tried to usurp. Ash had a superhuman ability to survive despite his foes’ best efforts and a savviness that belied the intense insecurity and guilt that manifested before him now. The difference made Max’s heart sink. They’d been through enough together for Max to know that anything they’d undergone as a unit was only a tip of the iceberg of what Ash experienced in just seventeen years. He felt powerless against such insurmountable suffering but felt compelled to help him shoulder it. “They’re not a part of your story anymore,” he offered lamely, hoping to catch Ash’s eyes.
“Neither is Eiji.” Ash’s composure changed abruptly; mask affixed securely once more.
“Don’t do that. There’s nothing that can keep apart two people who are still living and breathing. You’re friends. Isn’t that what counts?”
There was a brief flash of recognition in Ash’s eyes before he cut them to Max angrily. “You-“
“Were surrendered your belongings when I got here, yea. Doesn’t sound like someone who’s trying to write themselves out of your life.” There was a soft crinkle as Max pulled a ziploc bag that held the blood and tear-stained letter from the folds of his jacket. Much of the letter had become illegible and fused together. If looks could kill, Max was sure he’d be rocking a toe tag. He knew it wasn’t his place to read something so private and didn’t make it a point to. But the words that weren’t caked in blood provided some incomplete insight into Ash’s current circumstances. The things Ash wasn’t saying explicitly seemed to flesh out the picture a bit more.
Max could almost understand what was going on. Not completely, but he’d suffered bouts of survivor’s guilt when he returned from the war. He’d had a bit more resources to deal with his PTSD but still found them lacking when he eventually met and fell in love with Jessica. The thoughts he kept at bay back then, thoughts of worthlessness, anxiety that the other shoe would drop, shame… they plagued the early days of his relationship. Jessica would probably insist they drove the wedge that ended it back then, too, but they eventually overcame it. Something about near death experiences highlighted what really mattered to them both.
“Eiji doesn’t seem to think you’re too different.” Max extended the letter to Ash, studying his face and was met with a harsh snatch.
“He doesn’t know any better. Blanca said-“
“Listen, I don’t care who the hell Blanca is to you. But he’s nobody to put that shit in your head. I feel like you’ve had enough adults fail you. I can’t be another one. You’re supposed to be here, kid.” Max wasn’t sure if this was an overstep, maybe he’d assumed incorrectly. But nothing about Ash suggested he wouldn’t know to stop the bleeding and get medical attention. It didn’t feel like a mistake that he almost didn’t make it. Ash’s suddenly forlorn expression seemed to confirm Max’s suspicions. “You’re so hell bent on suffering, do it here. Living can be much more painful, sometimes. I get it. But there are things that make it worthwhile. People who make it worthwhile. It doesn’t cancel out everything else, but it’s a starting point for something good. And you deserve something good. Sometimes the hardest part is just letting yourself have it. That comes straight from your old man.” Max hoped the wink that accompanied his last statement added some much-needed levity. “Hell, if you really wanna suffer, try getting married! Talk about a lifetime sentence!” he chuckled.
“What was that, dear?” Jessica’s unmistakable drawl made Max’s heart tighten unexpectedly.
His eyes widened as he straightened in his chair forcibly. “A joke!” he coughed. He looked to Ash pleadingly, hoping for a smile or something but saw only a sullen blush.
“He probably doesn’t want to see me either after everything that happened… It’s too late.”
“You hold him a bit too gently. I don’t think there’s anything that could turn that boy against you.” Jessica scoffed briskly and rolled her eyes as she set a coffee cup on Ash’s lunch tray.
“Jeez, hag, you couldn’t even pretend you weren’t eavesdropping? How unattractive. And did you guys eat my lunch!?” Ash declared incredulously. He inventoried the contents of the tray mentally noting the five coffee cups that littered the table, suggesting Max and Jessica had been at his side all night. He allowed himself a small smile at the realization but held up the half-eaten sandwich threateningly. “Glad your stomachs were at least full while I was knocking on Death’s door..” he dropped the sandwich with a roll of his eyes. He wouldn’t call the feeling that had begun to take up residence in his heart comfort but it felt good to be in their company though he still felt a bit embarrassed. “You can go now, I’m fine, right? Besides, I wouldn’t want to involve you in anymore trouble. You have a kid to look after, after all. Seems pretty irresponsible leaving him all alone.”
Jessica glared at Ash through one open eye, surveying his countenance with concern. “Yea, and what kind of parents would we be to do something so horrible?” Jessica sighed, flopping into a vacant chair and crossing her legs.
Ash cocked an eyebrow, before playfully challenging Jessica with a sneer.
For a moment, Jessica bit the inside of her lip before sucking in her breath sharply. “Give me a minute.”
“What’s this, good cop, bad cop?” Ash groaned. But the look on Max’s face told him this was unplanned and just as shocking to him.
“For what? What do you-“
“Out! A minute. Take a walk.” Jessica’s eyes narrowed threateningly. For a moment, Max wondered what would be worse, being stabbed or a pressure filled minute with Jessica but couldn’t think of a joke to lighten the mood. Instead, he grabbed the freshly placed coffee cup and tipped an imaginary hat as he left the room, closing the door.
Ash was unflappable, least of all around women. But he recognized the tone Jessica used as that of the mothers on his little league team when they called their obstinate sons away from him using first, middle and last name. Surprised to recall something so frivolous, he swallowed shallowly and averted his gaze.
A heavy sigh filled the silent room, a crescendo atop the murmur of monitors at the hospital bedside. Jessica rose from her perch and crossed the room to stand over Ash menacingly. Her face softened suddenly as she drew a hand to Ash’s chin, cupping hesitantly. Her other hand deftly brushed his bangs out of his face. “… I’m sorry,” she whispered hoarsely.
Ash’s face drew up in confusion, his body already tense from the unexpectedly gentle gestures. He glared accusingly into Jessica’s face but the edge of his stare shattered against the weariness in her eyes. He couldn’t place the look on her face as anything recognizable but it made him uncomfortable in its vulnerability.
“Back then, the tapes.. you asked if they made me feel sick and I-“
Heat snaked it’s way across the back of Ash’s neck. “Don’t pity me,” he seethed coldly, pulling away from her hands.
“I don’t! I don’t.” A frown pulled at Jessica’s lips as she turned away from the young boy. Quickly, she dabbed at tears that had threatened to gather in one of her eyes before plopping down in the bed next to him, much to Ash’s chagrin. Her back faced him squarely, unable to look at him before continuing on. She raised her narrow shoulders resolutely, squaring them as if to give herself strength. “… those tapes. Made me want to go after each and every one of those men and skin them alive for you. Peel back every finger on any hand they laid on you. You asked if they made me sick and I couldn’t- couldn’t explain,” her head hung low for a moment. “What happened to you isn’t a reflection of who you are. Just like it’s not a reflection of who I am.” She looked over her shoulder with blanched, tear stained cheeks. “You said you’d have been dead long ago and.. I just need to know that you haven’t lost your fight.”
Her knit eyebrows asked a question that Ash didn’t have an answer for. He definitely didn’t think he’d be unpacking all this trauma moments after waking from the dead but, in the moment, trapped within these sterile walls, he felt exposed. Laid bare along with Jessica’a own admission. The air between them felt damp with her tears and tense with his silence. His eyes settled on his hands.
“I think we deserve much more than just surviving.” Her slender hand clasped over his softly. “But if you’re so inclined, I suppose it’s a start. Together.” Jessica dragged the ball of her free hand under each of her eyes sheepishly. “I know it’s not the same. It’s not fair to assume I understand you at all.” She turned about face, staring into his eyes, emboldened. “But I want to.” She exhaled deeply and threw her arms around his neck hoping like hell her clumsy words landed. She wasn’t especially emotional to begin with and still hadn’t truly found the words to talk about her own experience; however, she had to try if only for Ash’s sake. Truth be told, she didn’t think her words would carry much weight to begin with. Their relationship was always one of mocking and derision but she loved and cared for Ash. Pity didn’t have a place in her heart for him, instead, she’d come to admire him for his strength of will and the fact that he could be just as much of an insufferable shit as she could. He was undoubtedly the kid brother she’d never had.
Ash grimaced in the thick, wet air in the crook of Jessica’s neck, rolling his eyes half heartedly. One corner of his mouth upturned gratefully as his eyebrows burrowed together, staving off tears. “You’re strangling me! The nerve. This doesn’t make us friends...” His eyes stared off toward the door, knowing his harshness would falter if he caught a glimpse of her face again.
“We’ll, of course not. We’re family..” Jessica huffed, straightening her blouse and regaining composure. She cut her eyes down at Ash wryly before smirking and ruffling his hair.
“Knock, knock..” Max ventured while opening the door gingerly.
“You’re supposed to knock!” Ash and Jessica hissed in unison. Their eyes met as they snorted before shaking their heads disapprovingly and crossing their arms, looking away from one another with upturned noses.
“Sheesh, well Charlie needed to have a word so I thought I’d-“
Ash’s eyes grew wide suddenly before he forcibly shut down his emotions. He’d gone through a whole emotional roller coaster but he’d be damned before that showed on his face. His eyes were wary and vacant as Charlie crossed the threshold of the room, hot coffee in his hand.
“Michael, my how you’ve grown! I haven’t seen you in ages!”
Ash’s face screwed up in surprise. “Charlie, my boy doesn’t look a day over over 10. Just what are you playing at?” Max beamed. Max and Charlie ribbed one another exaggeratedly before taking note of not just Ash’s confusion, but Jessica’s as well.
“Don’t you read the news? Ash Lynx died ages ago..” Charlie shrugged, matter of factly. His eyes crinkled warmly at Ash, hoping to convey the fact that he was not to be feared.
Ash paused for a minute, connecting implausible dots before speaking. “So you’re saying..”
“THAT I’M OLD ENOUGH TO BE HIS MOTHER!?” Jessica shrieked, hands forming into shrewd claws.
“Whoa, whoa, calm down, Jess. Sick people here, remember?” Max gulped as his eyes widened having not thought about the implication. He calmly gathered her arms in a makeshift hug. “So.. what do you say. Son?” He grinned uneasily hoping Jessica didn’t appear as threatening as he assumed. He refused to look.
“Wow, guess you really are old, Mom. I wouldn’t make that face unless you want crows feet. More crows feet.” Ash snickered coolly.
One of Jessica’s eyes bugged out of her head as she began flailing half-heartedly. “Why, you! I’ll teach you some manners that’s for sure!”
Charlie, uncertain if he should intervene, decided to change the subject. “You can’t really call him Michael though, that’s-“
“Idiotic!” Jess and Ash scoffed once more in unison.
“I see the family resemblance though..” Charlie trailed off, taking another swig of coffee. He chuckled at the thought.
“You’re the fifth cup.” Ash thought aloud, not convinced he was free and clear.
“Your boys wanted to be here but we couldn’t draw unnecessary attention. I gave them my word I’d keep an eye on you and uh.. report back on your condition. What’s the name of the wiry guy with the pigtail braid?”
Ash’s lips were sealed, still innately wary of any police force that allowed shitheads like Evanstine to hold a badge.
“Bones.” Jessica answered. “What’d he want?”
“Bones, huh. Threatened to pistol whip me with my own gun if anything happened to the kid.. but I think he only said it because he was behind the big guy.” Charlie shook his head with a small grin as he held a hand towering over his head.
“Kong. Lovely boys. Well if that’s all, Charlie. Perhaps you could go let them know that he’s awake. I’m sure they’re about as anxious to know as he is having you here.” Jessica advised pointedly, having calmed for the moment. She untangled herself from Max’s straight jacket hold before sitting at the bedside, sighing dramatically.
“… what?” Max asked uneasily. While the decision to cover for and take Ash in if he accepted was unanimous, some of the finer details probably came as a surprise.
“… gonna need one hell of a push present,” Jessica pouted. As the two devolved into a lighthearted argument, Ash groaned loudly.
“Can’t you take that somewhere else? It’s not like I can escape,” he gestured at his wound vaguely.
Max shooed Jessica out of the room, following closely behind her before peeking back through the door briefly. “I – uh. I know you can take care of yourself. We’d be happy to have you around, the boys too if they want to visit. Jessica actually mentioned that part. Something about reminding her of the Lost Boys or something. But, we’re really glad that you’re okay and… I know we aren’t the only ones… Aslan.”
If Ash was surprised to hear his given name, it didn’t show for more than a moment. He grunted his acknowledgement before moving his eyes toward the window.
“Yea, that felt weird. Sorry, Ash.” Max muttered, feeling lame and embarrassed. Ash was always enigmatic and, while they had a mutual respect for one another, he really hoped the words he’d impressed upon him today had made a difference.
“It’s been a while since anyone used that name. Thanks, old man,” he murmured softly as the door closed. His head fell back softly onto his pillow, heavy from the whirlwind feelings that had swallowed him and spit him back out since staggering back into the library. It felt helpless and messy and unresolved. He smiled unexpectedly knowing there’d be time to sort it all out.
A/N: I’ll admit watching this series probably upset some things that I’d buried and writing (even mediocrely) seemed more cathartic than anything else. If you hated it, I’m sorry. But I want you to know, survivors aren’t better off dead. You are not better off dead. There are people to talk to and resources available if you need them.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASH YOU DESERVE A GREAT CELEBRATION KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DO BBY
(click for better quality I'm begging)
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pov: you impulsively bought the banana fish manga even though you’re already depressed and the cashier looks at you sadly 🤪😫😍😔
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theodorebasmanov · 2 years
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I’ve watched the twenty-second episode of “Banana Fish”. Oh my God, the beginning is so bad that I can’t even pick a proper epithet to express it. (Spoilers!) So, we all remember – Ash surrendered to the leader of people hired by Golzine. So, he’s being interrogated, the “dead” hireling even offered him an alliance against Golzine, but Ash, obviously, declines. So, the soldier has beaten and raped him, but still didn’t get any information. Then, other soldiers came to guard him, but he used a cigarette to burn the rope and beat his guards and got a gun. At the same time Sin, Eiji, Cain and some other people from the gangs started a rescue mission and it was successful. Ash’s broke as hell and then… How Ash relaxes in Eiji’s hands! It was a very strong scene. Then we see Max at Golzine’s hands being interrogated and being used a “truth serum” on, we see his colleague in the hospital. Then Ash and Jessica get the information from the bank before the mafia. They aren’t sure if to publish the information about Golzine’s connections with the government. Then we’re at Yut-Lung’s intrigues again – he wants to kill Eiji because he’s Ash’s soft spot and he wants Ash to be a merciless monster to compete with him. He wants somebody from Sin’s gang to do it. Sin’s brother, despite his displeasure with Sin’s alliance with Ash, doesn’t want to do that, but some other guys don’t mind. However, Blanca does mind and wants to stop those guys, Yut-Lung doesn’t want him to, but in the end, he almost cries and still tells him, where to find them. Then we see Ash and Eiji talking about the future, Eiji persuades Ash to come with him to Japan and Ash asks to teach him some Japanese. This language learning scene was so sweet! Unbearably sweet. And then the Chinese guys come and start shooting. Eiji saves Ash but is shot himself. I’m suffocating! If you, damned bastards, kill him for dramatic effect, I’ll just straight up die.
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