#jesus christ these people just say anything about terfs don't they

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

finding out the trans guy who made the mlm flag got (falsely) accused of being a rapist just because the flag looks kind like the lesbian flag (i mean the 7 and 5 stripe ones not the 6 stripe ones he also made) just makes me so depressed. I know if a cis guy made it that it wouldn't get half of the shit that it does.

seeing people repeatedly make jabs at trans men who like boys, calling us shit like "microseparatist gayboys" and tearing down anything that gets made by us or associated with us.... I love my other trans friends but sometimes i do wish there was a space where i could just be around other transmascs where I won't have to see us being falsely accused of rape for making some stripes in a row right next to people who say we don't face things like predator accusations...

I don't feel safe in my "community" anymore and it's breaking my heart. I was so excited to be out when I was 13 and now in my mid 20s I find myself wishing I was anything but what I am. Sometimes I want to look at these people and go "tell me where this alleged 'separatist' group is and I'll go there and stop 'tainting' your community with my transition". Even my love for other trans men is warped and demonized (because it couldn't be pure, it has to be somehow evil) or mocked as "pussy4pussy" (i'm meta4phallo)

Sorry for essentially venting in your inbox but reading those anons who are scared of being out in their own community and especially the anon who socially detransitioned because of "community" abuse/mistreatment. I'm so scared of that becoming my future and I really can't find any solution to it. I just want us all to be ok

Never apologize for venting in my inbox, or sending me a long ask about bad things. The more that transandrophobia can be documented, the less it can be ignored, and the worse its deniers will look. Thank you so much for sending me this, kind anon! (Under the cut there will be a short summary of a personal experience I had regarding sexual harassment, so if you don't want to see that, scroll past this post.)

Transandrophobia is rampant in gay communities, and homophobia + transandrophobia combined is horrible in the queer community at large. I've had multiple people lie about me, and while I've never been falsely accused of sexual harassment or assault, I have been accused of stalking and harassed over it, I've had people publicly speculate about my fetishes in front of me where I could see, with people defending the people doing that because the fetishes I "admitted" (fake screenshots) to "having" were "problematic."

Apparently that is okay to do now, because we're men and because we "chose" to be men that means we must be okay with being sexually harassed... (sarcasm)

Here's the thing. I've never heard the term "gayboy" used for a cis man, while it's used for trans men of all different ages, and while it's not inherently the most offensive term ever, its usage is infantilizing trans men and painting us as "gay man lite." We are not gay men lite, we are gay men. Them calling us separatists is really fucking weird because there are literally homosexual male separatists. They are called biphobic transphobic gay men and you can look them up here on Tumblr and find their blogs with hundreds of followers.

I wish I could crawl through the screen and punch those people who claim that false predator accusations are a transfem-only issue, because I've had it happen to me and so many other trans guys have had it happen to them too. Painting trans men as being predatory like a marginalized man stereotype and also a female invader into maleness at the same time is a very central piece of TEHM rhetoric and anyone who ignores that should be ashamed of themselves, because ignoring and erasing that such oppression exists is also a core piece of TEHM and also TERF rhetoric.

Every day I'm getting closer and closer to actually becoming a gay trans man separatist. Jesus fucking Christ. The rest of the world hates us and the rest of the queer community hates us too, and while I think that getting the queer community to unlearn their transphobia against us is important, I also think it is vital for us to have our own spaces to talk about our experiences without someone interrupting every 5 seconds saying "what about trans women?"

#asks #examples of transandrophobia #long post #transandrophobia #homophobia

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

the difference between us trans people and terfs when it comes to being out in the public is that they want us dead but we only want to be alive in peace.

I don't want to live every second worried about when the next hate crime will be, when the next 16 years old will be killed because they're trans, I just want to live.

terfs don't have to worry about it. they have no reason to because they're all rich women or are supported by rich women. I don't want them to die obviously. just shut the fuck up for once.

go do something productive in society, fight for ALL women's rights, jesus christ you're spending all your time fighting against ~those transes~ and you're getting gays, lesbians, bisexuals, gnc people, intersex people and more get killed or assaulted as collateral damage. but you care sooooo much about women, except you only care about women who are exactly like you, and if they dare say something you deem wrong then it's over, they're a TRA now, they deserve to be killed now.

I’ve come to the conclusion they know full well there will be collateral damage and simply don’t care. Anything is fine by them as long as trans people are being hurt too.

[ennui-gt]

god ok i wasnt gonna say anything myself but i think i have to. as i am, you know, trans, a lot of my friends on this site are also trans, and we are directly affected by the harmful ideologies perpetrated by TERFs, this hits a little too close to home for me to just reblog some mutuals' posts about the issue and call it a day. for a lot of us, this isn't just something we're supporting. it's a fight for our whole identities, and to see people not only trying to disavow who we are but to do it in such a sneaky and backhanded way isn't just disheartening, it's maddening. I mostly keep to myself and I don't typically say much one way or the other but this is personal. it's an intimate kind of pain. and like having to check to see that the people who i follow on g/t sideblogs aren't fucking TERFy sleeper agents isn't something that I should have to do like jesus christ

[basilhearsanoise]

Thank you so much for adding the addition ab t how bpd is a trauma response and anyone who the terfs apply to significantly can use them. I was feeling the same thing and I wasn't sure how to articulate it

bro when it comes to "appropriation" - that's a term best used for religious and culturally significant items, words, or rituals. appropriation is absolutely a legitimate problem butin the mental illness/disability world (both of which i live in! i have had chronic pain for 6 years now and have been batshit crazy my whole life!)

the term appropriation, in my opinion, does not really apply unless you are talking about hollywood's/pop culture's "appropriation" of mental illness as a literary trope, such as "multiple personality disorder" etc etc etc. besides in the movies, i don't think you can even make the argument that someone using a cane or a wheelchair when they don't "need it" is appropriation because like, the reason this trope is so harmful is because it limits real disabled actors from having jobs. it's not because it's wrong for someone who can walk to use a wheelchair. it's wrong for someone to get a bunch of money pretending to be disabled when we could just hire a fucking disabled person who already has a much more intimate understanding of this experience to contribute to the story. and it's ableist to constantly have the narrative of "disabled person gets """fixed""" and suddenly can walk again" which is one of the reasons why disabled actors don't get hired and also is just a reflection of bad storytelling because that story says that disabled people have to stop being disabled for their character to go through ANY development within a story. that's fucked up.

like. i am VERY very mad at the world for misrepresenting, and "appropriating" my experience as a mentally ill person in order to demonize and vilify me and other people. i am VERY mad at people for armchair diagnosing their abusers or other real life villains. i am VERY mad at the people claiming that their experience as a mentally ill person to justify their abuse. both sides of this coin are bad.

am i mad at someone for saying "i have symptoms in common with bpd. i have a favorite person/i feel like i "split"/etc etc. i might even have bpd maybe? who knows?" fucking nO I AM NOT. because jesus FUCKING CHRIST THAT WAS HOW I FELT. AND THEN I WAS LIKE HUH WHAT IS THIS. OH THAT? I HAVE THAT. THIS OTHER THING? I DO THAT TOO OH SHIT. and that was how i felt comfortable enough to say to myself and other people "i have borderline personality disorder. when i do or feel these things they are symptoms of this. when this happens to me it is a symptom of this. when i see advice directed at this demographic of people i should fucking listen to it and use these recommended coping mechanisms to deal with these problems."

i might even find out one day that i have a slightly different mental disorder but the symptoms of BPD from top to bottom fit me and my experience better than that of bipolar or whatever, even though i do suffer from intense mania/manic depression. what ultimately made me comfortable with the specific diagnosis of bpd is that i can only recognize my feelings enough to process them in someone else, whether that person be real or fictional. i was like OH. THAT'S WHY I CAN LITERALLY ONLY ACHIEVE UNDERSTANDING OF MY OWN MOTIVATIONS BY WATCHING MOVIES. I'M FUCKING REMOVED FROM MYSELF PSYCHOLOGICALLY DUE TO TRAUMA. NICE TO KNOW.

illnesses. have. so. many. overlapping. symptoms. the only reason. your specific diagnosis matters. is to find treatment. that works. for you.

you can't fucking APPROPRIATE A SYMPTOM YOU ALREADY FUCKING HAVE. thank you for coming to my ted talk and i'm so very glad i could help literally anyone feel better about anything all the love in the world to you

#me #bpd #mental illness #ask #anonymous

[xythlia]

something else ive noticed every few months when tumblr does this will they won't they shut down thing is it always, always makes all these fresh posts pop up about how you just absolutely have to spend money on this site and need to stop being openly critical of the way this place is run & that's just not true. you can love tumblr as a platform but also remain vocal about the numerous failures of its staff

a vast majority of this site isn't so staunchly anti-monitization for no reason. over the last year alone the censorship by staff of trans individuals on this site is at a point where u can't say it's not rooted in bigotry. why are a majority of only trans people being told their posts are inherently nsfw when it's just... them literally posting the way everyone else does? staff has whipped out never used before content moderation tools for the sole goal of nuking anyone who ever says hey this is weird as fuck in regards to that behavior/the people on staff who are just blatant terfs & freaks.

you can't go scorched earth on people and just expect them to go oh but we'll still buy the silly billy crab badge <3. not to mention it's in poor taste to rip jokes made by others on this site, turn them into profit makers, and then offer absolutely no credit to the person who's shit they're using to generate revenue.

it's been years that people have been asking them to address the issue of nazis running rampant on here. that's literally never been addressed even though they've shown they do have the tools to address that in at least some capacity, they just have zero interest in doing so.

they'd rather use those tools to suppress tags for palestinian support then go oopsie woopsie the site did a lil fucky wucky. you cannot do that shit again and again and again & just expect people to fall for it over and over. staff thinks very little of their userbase if that wasn't already clear, they think we're stupid. there's people on here who've talked before about how tumblr did similar shit when the protests in ferguson were happening years ago, they terminated blogs belonging to black activists & then started that absolute bullshit line about russian psyop accounts. there were no fuckin psyops they were blatantly going after black activists.

I mean jesus christ you cannot expect people to kiss your ass & throw their money at your website when it has a mind boggling track record of piss poor treatment towards its users and an unbelievable preference for shielding people who are fucking vile and hateful freaks. sure a lot of that stuff occurred not under the people who own tumblr now, but clearly they inherited the playbook from those who owned this site previously because they just do the same shit then are so flabbergasted when we all can't stand them & are not exactly shy in showing how much we dislike them.

two things can be true at once you can absolutely be fond of this site but you can also go hey a lot of the shit you're pulling here is beyond weird and hostile towards certain parts of the userbase only... why the fuck is that? for a lot of people it's about withholding monetary support until things like that are addressed, which they haven't been so sorry im not going to be lining up to buy fucking premium and whatever stupid little vanity badge from the people who do nothing when non white people & trans people get harassed and have their safety threatened because staff is either too pussy to do anything or at worst actively involved in that behavior so they pretend they don't see.

I think they'd have an easier time of implementing monetized features if they didn't treat users like dogshit & blatantly treat us all like we're fucking idiots but hey what do I know

[villainessbian]

yep, it does not go through, like I expected

there's way too many of you that have been beaten down hard enough that you cannot recognize when you're hunkering down and shutting off your brain

all criticism is TERFs. All people that do not whole-heartedly agree with you when you literally claim that something that is happening is not happening is somehow merely somebody close to "praising glinner and jkr"

jesus christ you give me a headache.

and by the way, this is coming from in-house. from a transwoman. But chiefly, a transwoman that has experienced the brunt of what misandry is really like, and how much misandry goes on to fuel transphobia

you say the shit terfs say when you say men aren't subject to misandry

It's not that your message does not go through, it's that I know it's wrong. I even explained why to you, but it looks like... it's not going through.

You can take "knowing more than you do" and rename it "hunkering down and shutting off our brain" but you being a bitch about being wrong doesn't make you any less wrong.

"all criticism is TERFs" no. "You lot (trans women) are part of the problem why men's issues aren't taken care of, it makes me sick and you keep being disappointing by perpetuating the system of gendered violence" is in fact textbook terfspeak though. Literally. Every single point and term of reference. Get better.

"by the way, this is coming from in-house. from a transwoman" so, apart from the fact that even the way you write "trans woman" is the way that terfs push to dehumanise us, I still hope you get better. When you realise that the pick-me MRA act doesn't solve anything and that generation upon generation of feminists were right all along no matter what reddit says about how men's suffering is really caused by women and especially minority women.

So to repeat myself until it "gets through," shut up. Stop talking to me until you drop the MRA bullshit. You wanna know which side of the discussion you're on? Glinner also openly believes in misandry and that "terf" gets thrown as a term of abuse for not agreeing with "us lot."

But surely you have another load of separate, uneducated reasons why you agree with him so let me pre-empt this with a third and final DON'T UNTIL YOU STOP. I don't care nor wish to know why you're desperate to belittle any trans woman who knows even just a little about feminism, and then parrot known terfs, and make MRA points. No one does. No one gives a fuck and going anonymous doesn't hide (because you literally just got all cross with me about it before you switched to anonymous asks) that you are cothica-keywitch, and you're worrying in general. You get angry when people explore themes of violence in fiction, you attack people without checking first whether they deserve it, and you rapidly switch between social justice and femcel speech. Holy shit, better yourself before you tackle the big social questions like "is the oppressor... ACTUALLY THE VICTIM"

[box-dwelling]

I always hated the whole FART terf thing? It just always seemed like the drumph stuff and I also don't like how saying it's appropriating feminism kinda leaves out the culpability of non intersection feminism in terfism. But I got quote tweeted by one on twitter today and Jesus Christ do they know fucking nothing about basic femmist theory. I'm not even talking the hard stuff or even anything that actually includes trans women, I'm talking basics around reproductive rights and not even abortion. It's like they've read the hard stuff and will cite X author but can't comprehend the basic arguments that are made. I shouldn't be able do argue with them this well, I don't consider myself to be a well read femmist, I'm a chemist and the activism I do genuinely do is way more about environmentalism and queer and disability rights. I just understand the bare basics and I still understand this shit more than them. It's like arguing with someone who can cite 267 Marxist academics but can't read the communist manifesto. Like it's not a problem with having the extra knowledge, that's genuinely good. It's an issue of some people having this backlog of things they've read but not comprehended. They can memorise the names but not actually explain the argument. Idk maybe it's a stem thing where we very rarely have to cite stuff and have to just understand the content, it's more important to use an equation than to know who came up with it but it's so infuriating to argue against.

[bondsmagii]

Micaél I'm gonna be fucking sick. I had this server I felt pretty safe in, had some friends in there, then today I see someone say "how do I show that my blog is a safe place for MAPs" and went on about how shitty it is to NOT be pro MAP and. Nobody fucking disagreed with them. The mods didn't do anything. I feel physically ill, what the fuck

oof :// fucking yikes. jesus christ, honestly. this is the thing that makes me laugh when it comes to people thinking they can spot this shit from reading the tropes someone likes on AO3 or something, like everyone just advertises their fucked up shit publicly by what fictional villain they like. nope. it's always shit like this. people you think you can trust who just turn around and come out with the most vile shit imaginable.

I had this happen to me with somebody I was friends with for almost 2 years. totally fucking fine, no issues, no hints at all, and then one day she turned around and told me she felt "safe" enough to confess to me she was a TERF. just bombarded me with over 100 messages while I was offline, talking about TERF ideology and linking me to pages and pages of "proof", for me completely out of nowhere. then she was genuinely shocked when I replied with "jesus christ what the fuck" and told her we were done. I honestly know how you must feel, because for weeks all I could think was "what the fuck did I do that made this piece of shit think they were safe confessing that to me?" shit genuinely makes you feel sick.

it's not much of a bright side, but just try to see it as the trash taking itself out. regardless of if there's only a few of them and the server is one of those ridiculous "nooo we can't challenge anything if we want to call ourselves accepting and open" (the old "tolerance breeds intolerance" issue) or it's a server genuinely full of them, you don't have to associate with them any more. it hurts to think that you had something good when you didn't, but better you find out and get away from that shit. I hope you're doing better now, and if not, that you feel better soon.

#anon #asks