Per the AP: “Two days after Mulaney’s ‘SNL’ monologue, law enforcement officials contacted Thomas McCarthy, the global chief security officer and senior vice president at NBC Universal, to express the agency’s desire to discuss the joke with the comedian’s attorneys. The Secret Service file included a report from Breitbart entitled, ‘SNL: John Mulaney Jokes that Senators Should Stab Trump Like Julius Caesar.’ The investigation into Mulaney was opened in March and closed in December.”
According to the Secret Service files, Mulaney made “no direct threats towards Trump” and thus no wrongdoing was found on the comedian’s part. The files did include other jokes from Mulaney’s “SNL” monologue, including one bit where the comedian quipped that he “disliked the Founding Fathers immensely,” adding, “I hate when people are like, ‘God has never created such a great group of men than the Founding Fathers.’ Yeah, the ’92 Bulls. That’s a perfect metaphor for the United States. When I was a boy, the United States was like Michael Jordan in 1992. Now the United States is like Michael Jordan now.”
I am crying and wheezing at the same time.
A guy in my chemistry/labor class came up to me and the conversation we had went like this:
Dude in my class: quick, your opinion to homosexuals.
Me: dude… I am homosexual
Him: h uh
Him: you are transformers-
This girl next to me was bi and we both were cackling so much. W h e ez e
how do you keep finding Remus Lupin’s TikTok??
People making Chewbacca Han’s dog in modern day AUs is greatly concerning?
I’m nervous about tomorrow. I have to throw for my ceramics class but I didn’t even have time today to think about it :/ I don’t want to go in without a plan but I haven’t thought about stuff until now
But I’ve just had an idea
I have really plastic (flexible) clay, so maybe I could do a series of really intricate bowls??
Yeehaw nightmare saved
Also today at work, I freaked out because I couldn’t find my ID in my phone (yes I have an old-person wallet phone case), so I strategically placed my student ID in my nametag so it would look similar to my license😪 I was so pressed the whole time, I don’t think I actually learned anything today. When I got home. GueSS WHERE I FOUND MY HECKIN ID
In my coAT which I HAD at woooorrrrRRRRRKKKKKKKKK
I am very angery. But my brain does this alllll the time, I get into these mindsets where I get anxious and I catastrophize and I don’t even realize what I’m doing until afterward
Anyways I guess now I have to be hyper aware of my brain when small things happen🤦🏼 it’s whatever I’m just kinda blah and I need sleep
I’m so tired and not prepared to wake up so early😭
But I’m high as fuck so I’m not thAt mad to be going to bed early haha
The Jedi didn’t kidnap children stop saying they did
how are you going to refuse to get a license or drive but like? also think taxation is theft? should we just not have free public transportation?
like, should we all be getting girlfriends that we mooch off of and make them drive us everywhere? Is that your ancap ideals for the future?
“I have no problem with trans people but [says something super transphobic]”
There’s this white dude who came at me under my post with the tweet asking for more representation in sports. If he thinks those words hurt me or change what I think, he’s dreaming. And he’s a fucking asshole for saying what he said but I don’t have the time to go and argue right now.
lockdown is really reaching critical stages for my mental health now, my energy is getting lower every day, i’m feeling less and less comfortable in my body, i’m super demotivated, even for practicing guitar even though i’m so close to nailing the beginners version of unsaid emily, and just overall a little more miserable every day. how to cope
coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool i just need to convince myself everything’s ok, that im ok hahahahaha why the fuck do i suck at that
Look, i find this very very disturbing. To feel that you have to apologize for listening and liking Louis’ music and asking not to be mass reported for saying it on public platform? “Ik we don’t really like Louis”? We. Not I. As a harrie you MUST dislike Louis, eh, or you cannot be a harrie? This is incredibly fucked up!
Any harries out there who like and enjoy Louis’ music and even daring to like the man - it’s so very weird that this even needs to be said but you aren’t doing anything wrong and if anyone makes you feel otherwise then block these people out of your life immediately! They are beyond toxic!
Hhnngg .., thinking of him
credit @HQ_estnut on Twitter
there are a handful of you that are really about to drag me into a spuffy spiral…