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“just kill me, then”

Me: ok so what if NMJ took much longer to decide whether or not he should just strike MY down on the spot? Once the adrenaline rush faded, the terror and hurt would really sink in.

Also me: who cares about the reasoning, ANY excuse to draw the boy crying

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Writing a fic where Meng Yao sees Jiang Fengmian as a father figure, made me realize that doing so would add a whole other complicated layer in Yao’s relationship with Lan Xichen (romantic or not) since the two sect leaders are so similar to each other personality wise, and I don’t know how to feel about this.

Like holy shit there’s so many flavors of daddy issues I can fit into this one man without even trying.

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it’s so irritating to see people say that lxc trusted meng yao/jgy “too much”, like… the ONLY reason y’all think this is because jgy is a Bad Guy™, which we ONLY know because we, the audience, were granted the privilege of seeing the truth behind this bright-eyed, dimple-cheeked twink - a truth that lxc never saw, not because he was blind, not because he didn’t try, but because jgy deliberately deceived him for over a decade.

i guarantee that if jgy had turned out to be a Good Guy™ like fandom darling wwx, we’d all be singing lxc’s praises for sticking by his side despite the whole world being against him, the same way that folks sing lwj’s praises for being stupidly loyal to wwx despite there being multiple witnesses to him committing murder (accidental or not) and then, later on, despite personally seeing wwx slaughter hundreds of lan sect members.

we cheer for lwj’s devotion because wwx is portrayed as a Good person with a kind heart who gets traumatized & corrupted by external forces.

but we condemn lxc’s because jgy is ultimately shown to be a Bad person with a gross, self-serving attitude who is given multiple chances to redeem himself but continues to be selfish until his dying breath.

it’s an annoying double standard. and lxc deserves better.

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“Young Master, you’ve got something on your cheek.” Meng Yao says, gesturing to his own as he smiles politely at Nie Huaisang. The streak of ink was too wide to be written off as a beauty mark, it was as if Nie Huaisang had accidentally dragged the tip of his brush over his cheek.

“Here?” Nie Huaisang asks, dragging his thumb over the right spot, but on the wrong cheek, and then looking up at Meng Yao expectantly when no ink comes off.

Shaking his head, Meng Yao taps at his own cheek again, nodding when Nie Huaisang’s hand reaches for the correct cheek, though he misses the mark entirely this time. “My young master has been painting again.” Meng Yao sighs, pointing out the obvious as he turns and scans the room for a mirror. They’d be here all day if he let Nie Huaisang keep guessing at where the mark was.

It’s not until he steps away that he notices the ink still drying on Nie Huaisang’s hands. So that’s where the streak on his cheek had come from, Meng Yao is surprised the stains hadn’t reached his robes yet.

He should be frustrated, he’d asked Nie Huaisang time and time again to be careful while he painted, but the only thing he can manage is a fond, tired smile as he reaches into his sleeve and pulls out a handkerchief.

“Perhaps my young master should allow me to take care of it.”

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one of the grey areas in mdzs that I don’t think we discuss often is that lan xichen and meng yao are together responsible for a tremendous breach of trust and creation of trauma towards nie mingjue for which one of them (lxc) seems to be forgiven and the other (my/jgy) isnt, but like, even the fact that lxc was forgiven is truly a matter of how long lasting that friendship was.

lan xichen is one of nie mingjue’s closest friends AND is working under nie mingjue during his capacity as the apparent general of the Sunshot Campaign and he never once discloses the identity of the spy he’s getting his information from during the war proper, even when asked. this directly results in the fact that when nie mingjue is captured late in the war, forced to watch his men be murdered, taunted with his father’s murder and with being murdered in the same grisly fashion as his father was, and beaten, he’s enduring all of this without any idea of that he’s supposed to have help in this room with him, that this is anything less than what it seems - pre-emptive torture by qishan’s head torturer (because that seems to be meng yao’s role, being the man who invented many of wen ruohan’s favorite tools of torture)

lets acknowledge that all of those are traumatizing events that could absolutely create PTSD and would cause lasting trauma

only AFTER wen ruohan is dead and AFTER meng yao has done all of this is it revealed to nie mingjue that meng yao was a spy and its treated in both canon and fanon as a gotcha, as if nie mingjue should just not be angry anymore, not even an hour after experiencing all of this, because look! RETROACTIVELY you know this man wasn’t going to kill YOU. you RETROACTIVELY know that you were not in real danger from the man who murdered your subordinates in front of you

this is, in my firm opinion, probably the worst things Lan Xichen ever did to Nie Mingjue, especially when the sole explanation for it all comes down to “i did not trust your professionalism as the general who is leading and coordinating our forces to be great enough that you would put the war first and over look that the spy sending us (seemingly*) reliable information is someone who personally betrayed you** and who you witnessed committing murder, but now that he’s hurt and traumatized let me use that as a get (him) out of jail free card”

maybe there wasn’t another choice in lxc’s mind, but this is ultimately one of his huge grey areas pre-burial mounds, his participation in what is absolutely a huge betrayal, and the fact that mere hours to days later he asked nie mingjue to swear brotherhood to him and meng yao is truly something i think we as fandom should discuss more

3zun is complicated on all sides because there is some degree of tension and fucked-uppedness happening everywhere between them.



*= seemingly, because there is a justified reading of canon that nie mingjue’s capture was a deliberate ambush facilitated by meng yao and lan xichen, in that information from meng yao delivered by lan xichen says that the area they’re going to should be a soft target open for ambush and instead Wen Ruohan was waiting with extra forces, so. probably not a coincidence.

**= in the novel specifically, after beint caught in murder and asked to turn himself in, meng yao stabs himself in apparent suicide for honor. nie mingjue rushes to help him and transfers him spiritual energy and in that moment meng yao paralyzes him spiritually and stands up revealing he’d deliberately stabbed himself non-fatally, and runs away leaving nie mingjue frozen in a recent battlefield. in cql the betrayal is arguably much less personal than that

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Friendly reminder that this is a RetJ account, but make it MDZS

I was re-watching the original 2001 version and… Well, I immediately thought of Jin Guangyao and Rusong.

(i slightly changed the lyrics from “une fille” to “un fils”)

“Avoir un fils

Une petite opale

Des yeux qui brillent

Une peau si pâle

Avoir un fils

C'est faire un crime

Où le coupable est la victime”


(Having a son

A small opal

Eyes that shine

A skin so pale

Having a son

Is committing a crime

Where the culprit is the victim)

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