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#jimin series
moonchild1 · 1 month
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park jimin fic rec list (Ⅲ)
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woah it really has been a long time since i posted but i am so glad to be back and to get back into reading i saw so many of my favourite authors have updated and i am beyond excited to start this journey again but in the mean time here's jimin rec list as promised it was so exciting finishing this list cause i got so nostalgic making it and reading all the old fics i had on my reading list ughhh i just loved it so much and it got me back into the swing of things and i cant wait to make more lists, i do have another jjk list ready and i will post it the day after tomorrow so i hope you enjoy this one and don't forget to show all the love and support in the world to these amazing authors they work so hard to create these fics for us and they deserve endless praise and love for the commitment and generosity they have so please do leave them a comment, heart or reblog a small comment can go a long way here and can make someone smile even bigger so dont don't shy away from making someone happy... as usual you guys know this fics i recommend contain smut so minors don't interact you will be blocked... i really do love hearing from you guys so if you do have a little fic you are super into right now and you just want to rant about how amazing it is feel free to send me an ask 😊🖤
a- angst s- smut f- fluff
series
plot twist by @xpeachesncream f s a
↳ jimin isn’t interested in fake dating, but he’s definitely interested in getting to know someone the right way. after all, he feels like he’s ready to put himself out there and give it all he’s got. so, he takes a risk in trying something completely out of his comfort zone and hops on the new, popular dating app - only to come across and get to know someone he didn’t expect to meet.
a remedy for mondays by @dovechim s
↳ all you wanted was just one day off work. but for that to happen, you need to invent a plausible reason. and then somehow, somewhere along the way, things get out of hand, and now people think you’re having a baby with your co-worker Park Jimin after a one-night stand. confused? join the club.
it’s okay, that’s love by @/dovechim f s a deals with deep subjects
↳ People are constantly making some kind of connection with each other- be it friendship or romance. But human bonds always lead to messy complications; commitment, sharing, driving people to the airport, letting them get up close and personal with the darkest parts of ourselves. And sure- it’s scary as hell to watch them cross those boundaries you’ve so meticulously drawn, but it’s okay, because that’s love.
so it goes by @/dovechim f s
↳ Park Jimin knows a lot about humans. of course he does, he studies them for a living. he knows that they say hello by holding hands, and when they say goodbye, they put their arms around each other. but this particular human, he notes, is unlike the rest- stuck in a slump, going about your day praying for the Universe to stage an intervention in the form of an alien abduction. when he decides to finally fulfil your wishes, he finds that you have a little something to teach him about what it means to live life on Earth the way you do: ugly crying, underwear and all. in return, he shows you the possibilities that abound if you simply adopted their mantra: everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts.
love again by @taestefully-in-luv f s a
↳ A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?
the other woman: the seduction and the illusion by @namjooningelsewhere f s a
↳ No one told you being the other woman would never be easy, No one told you that his love would be two sides to a same coin. No one told you he came to you because you were his escape to his demons. No one told you he would always call you his, but he would never be yours. And most importantly no one told you, He never loved you because you dont destroy the people you love.
FUTURE HEARTS by @jungblue f s a ft. jjk
↳ It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook. 
after the applause by @foxymoxynoona
↳ Jimin doesn't know how he would have made it this far after the shattering of his world without the support of his thoughtful, generous, helpful neighbor. Hanbyul has lived next to hottie Jimin and his adorable daughter for years now, long enough to remember the wife he was so devoted to and lost far too young. With each safely ensconced on their side of the brick wall of the Parks' grief, it will take an enterprising little scientist to set the stage for a second chance at love.
saved by @to-star-lake s a
rockstar au deep subjects read warnings
midnight memories by @hobipaint f s a
↳ there's drunk habits, and then there's drunk mistakes. What do you call meeting your friend - no, ‘former friend’ - at a bar, getting drunk with him and sleeping- 'accidentally' - with him? especially when everyone already knows that you stay away from him as much as the day does from night?
Easy. You forget about it.
heartbreak chronicles by @sugaxjpg s
↳ Park Jimin had it all — good grades, a place as the soccer team’s captain and, more than that, the broken hearts of at least half the campus’ population. Though, one thing he did not have was someone willing to break his heart and, after you were dragged inside a miraculous plan to play that part, the last thing counted on was the preposterous idea that, perhaps, you could fall for him as well. 
drifting by@hongcherry f a
↳ After being assigned different partners for your midterm routine, your and Jimin’s relationship starts to deteriorate when you both begin spending more time away from each other and with your assigned partners instead.
growing pains by @taleasnewastime f s a
↳ Growing up the daughter of the boss of a gang is never easy, but normally the problems are around being given too many responsibilities, or the risk of being connected to a gang leader, or wanting to escape but not being able to. But you’ve got a different problem, you want more responsibility, want to be like your brother who’s been named heir, want a role in the family gang. Your whole life you’ve been denied what you want, being born a female seemingly your main issue; perceived as weak, naïve, trying to step above your station. But as unsupportive and dismissive as your family is, there is always the bright light that is Jimin; the boy you love but can never have.
tuqburni by @solastia f s a ft.myg
↳ You’ve spent two years building a life with Yoongi who you loved more than anything in the world. Now, his ex-boyfriend Jimin is back in the picture, and Yoongi begs you not to make him choose between the two of you, offering the choice of a polyamorous relationship. Though your heart is shattered, you agree.
stardust by @venusjeon f a
↳ struck by your beauty, Jimin begs to paint you naked behind the world's back so as not to stain your influential family—his patrons—with scandal.
drift by @snackhobi f s
↳ You used to think that there was nothing better than the sensation of coming first place. However, your rival- the talented, gorgeous, dangerous Park Jimin- is more than happy to prove you wrong.
the deli diaries by @jimlingss f
↳ Working at a grocery store deli is absolutely unbearable (and you’re also perfectly aware of how dramatic you are). But it seems like something, or rather, someone might make the job a bit more manageable.
best of me by @xotoosweet f a
↳ when he tells the story of how he met you in a few years, he'll claim that it was meant to be. you'll laugh and call it a coincidence. it was a coincidence that on the first day of summer semester, he decided to go on a run (though he claimed he always ran in the mornings). it was a coincidence that he chose a less traveled path in the university arboretum that morning. and it was definitely a coincidence that you were there, sitting on the rail of the river bridge.
the ten days of ex-mas by @kpopfanfictrash f s a
↳ Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.
strip by @yoonia f s a
↳ Summary | Everything you have done has always been about surviving life and raising your child on your own. Having someone else caring about you was the last thing you had expected. Especially when that someone is the same man you have watched performing every night on stage and secretly admired. But will he run the moment he finds out about your little secret waiting at home?
falling by @/yoonia s a
↳ For Park Jimin, you are everything he will ever need—his assistant, his housekeeper, his task runner, his fairy godmother. For you, he is more than everything. You have dedicated your life for him and, before you even realised it, your heart belongs to him alone. The only problem is that he is never yours, and you are living in a world that your love for him is nothing more than a fairytale ending. As you are suddenly given a chance to wake up and face the real world, will you be ready to embrace it? Will he be ready to deal with the world without you in it?
wrapped around by @jjkfire ft. kth f s a
↳ Freshman year was a mess and sophomore year doesn’t seem to be looking too good either. You know boys like them are no good for you but maybe they’re just your kind of type
baby, baby by @hobiwonder f s a
↳ When you’ve run out of savings to continue on to the last semester of your Bachelors - you take an unorthodox route. Helping a desperate couple have a child and getting paid for it? Heck yeah. But what do you know - it wasn’t as easy as it sounds.
love at first touch by bagelswrites (ao3)
↳ The first time you meet your soulmate, it leaves a bruise on both of you at the point of contact. From then on, your body begins rejecting any sustenance other than the touch of your soulmate. The trick is, the bruises take a few hours to appear, so you have to figure out who you've touched and find them before you starve to death. But once you do, all you ever need is them. So what happens if you're an idol and you meet your soulmate at a fan event?
our little family by @nightbts f a
↳ you were living a simple life filled with simple dreams; combining your two most loved things in life, children and teaching, you were starting out your career as a teacher at the local pre-school. but little did you know, how one child and her very special father, would change your simple life into something extraordinary
one-shot 35
brand new eyes by @missgeniality s
↳ Jimin’s eyes had potential to ruin you, and tonight you test the damage.
waves by @shina913 s
↳ It's Valentine's Day and your boyfriend decides to spice things up with a little surprise for you.
failure to communicate by @gukslut s
↳ Enemies to Lovers/ College AU
physical by @ppersonna f s
↳ you cant seem to escape the sexy fitness instructor that seemingly is everywhere you turn. it’s enough to make you irrational.
good for you by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids s
↳ Jimin can’t help the way he drowns himself in you. Why should he anyway?
ho-ho-home by @jjungkookislife s a
↳ Golden neighbor extraordinaire, Park Jimin, is (unintentionally) stealing your spotlight this holiday season. Despite your one sided rivalry with him, all Jimin wants is for you to remember him, to remember your past and hopefully create a future with you.
100km/hour by @chateautae s
↳ what exactly happens when you and your friends have to pile into one car for the ride home after an insane halloween party, and you find yourself sitting in park jimin’s lap? especially when he’s dressed as an angel, and you’re in the sluttiest devil costume ever?
what it's like by @jimilter s
↳ You’ve always heard great tales about how good the infamous fuckboy on campus, Park Jimin, is in bed, and wondered if there could be any truth behind these claims when the guy looks like an angel with his cheruby cheeks and precious smiles. So when a new gossip starts to circulate about how ‘hard he hits’, you have had enough of the suspense and decide to finally sample him yourself.
feel your touch by @/jimilter f s a
↳ You have always known yourself to be a sexual switch in bed, flipping between exercising and submitting control according to different situations and partners. And this camboy you are addicted to, one that seems to kinda reciprocate your interest, submits so beautifully that you just want to command him. But when things progress to levels you never anticipated, you end up discovering pleasant surprises that might just change your life.
the prince’s cinderella syndrome by @/jimilter f s a ft jjk
↳ He shows up at Halloween, every year, dressed the same, and leaves at midnight like some Cinderella. You would think he was a prankster if his eyes didn't look like they contained all the sadness in the world. You don't know him - no one on campus does. You don't know why he appears only once a year. You don't know why he never smiles. But you can't help falling in love with him. Even if he breaks your heart when he abandons you at midnight, again.
scream your panties by @opaljm s a
↳ As your midterms have ended and Halloween has arrived, you are looking forward to a pleasant time relaxing and enjoying the festivities at your sorority and Jimin’s frat houses. Luck is not in your favor, though, because things keep going wrong like a trail of dominoes falling – the only upside to your slowly deteriorating day being that you get to end it with your boyfriend’s delicious self between your legs.
first snow, last kiss by @taeshobipop f s a
↳ He broke your heart four years ago; the old loving memories of your time together now tainted by pure betrayal. Yet in the haze of new snow, after returning home for the first time, the moments you had once convinced yourself were nothing but a lie, reveal themselves to be otherwise.
antifreeze by @winetae s
↳ Jimin participates in the school’s adaption of The Nutcracker for extra credit but doesn’t expect his new dance partner to a) be this bad at dancing and b) be this fucking cute
what she likes by @untaemedqueen f s
idol au husband au marriage au
only you by @personasintro f s a
↳  you’ve been always there for your best friend, even when he became a single dad 
sucker by @/personasintro s a
↳ You wish you'd pay more attention to Jimin. Like, how his eyes kept changing color. How cold his skin was, too unrealistically to be natural. Or one second, he flashed you with his sharp canines and the next one he didn't have any. How much he craved for you, but not the way you thought he was.
please, lie to me by @ressjeon s a
↳ "centuries of loyalty vs. only months of fucking, how could you miscalculate?"
summer synchrony by @seokkgenie f s a
↳ childhood friends to lovers
neon seoul @readyplayerhobi f s a
↳ It the city of New Seoul, another homicide isn’t newsworthy but instead just a statistic. But when the son of the mayor is murdered in an alley in a shady part of the city? Then it’s important. You and your partner, Detective Park Jimin, are given the honour of investigating the crime. Will you find out who killed him? Or will you fail?
serendipity by @btsracket s a ao3
↳ It's serendipitous. Jimin braces for darkness but finds his light instead.
the boyfriend concept by @/kpopfanfictrash s
↳ Win a Date with a Porn Star! You saw the sign when you walked in, of course, but you had no idea your friend dropped your name into the raffle. Fast-forward to later that day, when you actually win. You are horrified, of course, with no intention of accepting and setting yourself up for embarrassment. But then you meet Jimin, and decide this might be worth a shot.
Lovely Demons by @/kpopfanfictrash s a
↳ As penance for a crime committed long, long ago, the Witch Council banished you to the feared Tholoss forest. Your sentence was one hundred thousand days of solitude – or death, whichever came first. Your only hope of salvation comes from the demon names routinely sent your way; creatures who escape the inner circles of Hell and pose a threat to the mortal realms. For each demon you kill, days are removed from your sentence. For years you’ve existed, biding your time, until one morning you receive a name which throws your entire world into chaos: the name of Park Jimin, High Prince of Hell himself.
blue blood by @joonbird s a
↳ “Prince Jimin was born with blue blood. His coronation is rapidly approaching, but there are two requirements he must fulfil before becoming a king. He must have the skills to fight in battle, and he must have a Queen with blood as blue as his. You, a member of the royal guard, are assigned to teach Jimin the ins and outs of combat. You are not scared of death, of blood, or of battle. What you are scared of however, is falling in love with Jimin, the one man your blood decrees you can never have.”
i want to be with you by @oddinary4bts f s a
↳ moving to Seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is Park Jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. Will the reality of Park Jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream?
locked in love by @parkmuse f s a
↳ Getting locked in the mall on Christmas eve isn’t ideal, but getting locked in the mall with your brothers best friend that you haven’t seen in a while? Well, it might have been alright if you didn’t have feelings for him.
peaches and cream by @snackhobi s
↳ you wouldn’t mind your cute neighbour being such a shameless fuckboy if a) the walls weren’t so thin and b) he didn’t seem intent on adding you as another notch in his bedpost. 
reset by @/dovechim s
↳ We are made of the pieces of what we remember, and we hold in ourselves the hopes and fears of those who love us. As long as there are memories to call our own, there can be no true loss. But Park Jimin has no such privilege. 
the dark side of the moon by @/dovechim s
↳ falling in love at first sight is cliche, not until it happens to you on a dark night in a lonely alley. but you’re only human, while Park Jimin is Alpha of his pack; it could never work out. so you resort to pining for him like a wolf howling at the moon, but when Jimin goes feral, that’s when everything changes. 
Unconditionally by @kstopping s a
↳ Jimin constantly torments you. But you love it.
Instinct by @evangelene f a
↳ A lost child appears into your life only to bring you closer Jimin–a man that you’d thought you’d hated once upon a time. Now all you want is to be there for the child, and maybe his father–but only if his mother gets the hell out of the way.
eternal sunlight by @kidguk f s a
↳ “college and soulmate au where the first words your soulmate will say to you are tattooed on your wrist. jimin thinks he met his soulmate exactly four months after he met and fell in love with you. you can’t explain your attraction or your feelings toward him, even though technically you’re meant to be with other people. taehyung and jungkook helpfully suggest that the universe might be glitching.”
foul play by @kimvtae f s a
↳ Everyone loves a good rivalry, and the students at your university are no exception. Unluckily for you, the rivalry of the decade is between yourself and a furiously irritating Park Jimin. A top gymnast and a basketball star shouldn’t cross paths, but Jimin makes his way into your heart before you can put a stop to it.
lost and found by @/kimvtae s a
↳ The only thing bigger than Park Jimin’s ass is his ego. After one too many scandals, after one too many mornings stumbling back to the dorms drunk or ruining the reputations of other idols, Jimin is given an ultimatum: complete a rehabilitation program in America or leave Bangtan.
if we were a movie by @/kimvtae f s a
↳ Friends with benefits never worked in the movies, but you and Jimin had been friends for so long, it was bound to work for you. Until, of course, Jimin gets a girlfriend, and you fear you may lose your friendship with him for good.
the pull of the tides by @goldenscript f s
↳ The expanse of the deep blue sea has always drawn you in. Each ebb and flow of the tides never ceasing to take your breath away. And now, a boy with hair as light as the morning sun and a smile just as bright does too. 
hard to say by @floralseokjin f s a
↳you've had feelings for your best friend Jimin for as long as you can remember, but you always thought they were unreciprocated. What if it turned out they weren’t...?
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↬looking for pjm library or the other members check out my library
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axigailxo · 2 months
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Pretty Like You | PJM (2)
part two: parties and pilates
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series summary. where jimin is jealous of the beauty that is you, writes about it, and falls apart when you accidentally read it.
pairing. feminine!jimin x reader
rating. M | 18+ |
genre. enemies to lovers, feminine!jimin, self hatred au, slight identity crisis, self love journey, smut, sub! jimin, angst, fluff, heartfelt
w.c. 4.8k
warnings. heavy descriptions of self hate and self abuse later into the story, please be advised. mention of “unaliving” in this chapter.
ch summary. where oc convinces jimin to go to a frat party in an attempt to break him out of his shell
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**this is part 2 of my series pretty like you, not a stand-alone
series masterlist | <-previous | next ->
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“And then despite it all, she asked if I wanted to talk, can you believe it?”
It’s been a couple of days since the incident at the art room, and Jimin can’t stop ranting about it like it’s new news. He still hasn’t texted you, and it’s not like he could since he doesn’t even have your number. He could get it from you in class, but thats a little hard when he’s on a streak of skipping.
After you suggested to help him embark on a self love journey, Jimin has been so damn confused. He doesn’t know whether to jump at the opportunity, rot away in embarrassment that you read his journal, or be slightly offended that you’d suggest help when he thinks he’s just fine. Kind of.
All options are tempting, nonetheless.
Daisy, Jimin’s cat that is currently victim to listening about what happened for the hundredth time, lifts up off her soft body and saunters out of his room. What? She’s fed up.
Jimin, who is suffering from her rude and sudden exit, huffs as he debates whether he should follow up about that whole thing with you. Because despite all his options, he’s leaning more towards just avoiding you at all costs and pretending that situation never even happened.
Except he’ll remember. It’ll haunt him and his thoughts every night until he finally just addresses it.
And so that’s why he should go to class today. Maybe. Jimin squints his eyes as he contemplates and considers, ultimately deciding that coffee is the first step that should be taken. Especially since it’s way too early to have a crisis, that can wait for later. Per usual.
Making his way to his Keurig, he pops a peppermint mocha flavored pod into the top compartment followed by a little water in another compartment until he’s clicking a button to brew it.
“So now you like me,” Jimin scoffs as Daisy rubs against his ankle, excited for Jimin to give her breakfast.
Commanding to the manipulation of the feline, Jimin grabs a can of cat food out of a cupboard, internally scolding himself for being nice and buying her the expensive kind again.
Although, Jimin can’t blame Daisy for being fed up with all his predicaments. He would be too. However spilling to Daisy is much more acceptable than telling it all to his human best friend, Taehyung.
Jimin has already thought about the fact that if he spends time with you, whether it be for a self love journey or not, that’d be breaking some sort of bro code with Tae.
You’re Taehyung’s crush, and Jimin respects that. Plus it’s not like Taehyung has to worry, you’re out of Jimin’s league anyway.
However that hard on be got the other night still baffles him. He’s narrowed it down to being that you’re just attractive and he’s just a gross horny man. But not even that sounds right.
Jimin has thought about inviting Taehyung to every outing you may have together, but he can’t. How in hell would he explain to his best friend that the whole reason he’s seeing you is so that he can learn to accept himself and flaunt that feminine side of him? Let alone explain to him that you read his journal full of how much he envies and adores you at the same time. He can’t. More specifically, he won’t. Taehyung doesn’t need to meet that side of him, Jimin thinks. It’s for the better.
Jimin ponders for a second, and he hates himself for pouring his coffee into a travel cup and slinging his backpack over his shoulder. He figures since he’s already keeping a secret from Tae, one more shouldn’t hurt. Plus he can’t avoid you forever. There’s really only one thing to do now.
“Eat up Daisy, I’ll be back after class.”
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“Jimin? Hey!”
Standing in line at the campus’s cafe, Jimin washes over in a cold sweat as the loud call of his name attracts the attention of almost everyone near. He came here to get an additional caffeine boost before class and more importantly stall from talking to you, but it’s just his luck that you’d be here too.
“Hi,” he mutters awkwardly, eyes on the ground the second you get closer.
He’s never seen you so up-close before. He wonders if your skin has always looked so smooth.
He wishes his skin were as smooth.
“I was gonna call to ask about your no shows in class but I completely forgot to give you my number the last time we talked.”
Jimin finds this incredibly new and odd. Just a few days ago he hated you without knowing you and now you’re talking to him like a friend. It’s definitely going to take some getting used to.
“Here,” you say as you hand him your phone, a new contact page open and ready for him to fill out. “That way we can talk out of school, plus I found multiple super-helpful self esteem websites that you might li—“
“Y/N,” Jimin halts your enthusiasm. Again, way too early in the morning for this. “Can we not talk about it in such a public place?”
His tone is hushed and embarrassed, trying not to let the several eyes on them to hear that he’s struggling with self esteem. God this is so much more depressing than Jimin initially thought it’d be.
“Of course, yeah no my bad.” You rush your words, retracting your hand down before Jimin grabs the phone from you, typing his number.
“I dont expect you to waste time on me. Just text when you have absolutely nothing else to do. This isn’t important enough to occupy your schedule.”
Immediately, you frown at his words. Sure this is important. And contrary to his request, you already cleared something off of your schedule for him.
“First off, this is important. I won’t have you taking down on yourself anymore.”
Jimin so badly wants to ask why, but he won’t because that’s rude and you don’t deserve anymore rudeness from him. Not after what you read in the art room.
“Secondly, I already cancelled pilates for you. I have something else fun planned for us.”
Jimin can’t help his sudden snicker.
“What?” You ask, slightly offended.
“Nothing, it’s just funny you take pilates. Of course you do.”
You wanted to carry on with being offended, but you felt a pang of accomplishment upon getting him to laugh. Progress, you think.
“Yeah yeah,” you dismiss as you tuck your phone into your back pocket, trailing back out of the cafe. “Laugh all you want but just know that this ass didn’t grow itself!”
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You: u, me, frat party tonight at 9.
Sat on the hard seats of the lecture hall, Jimin’s eyes go wide as he reads your reply to his text.
The second you sauntered out of the cafe, you were quick to text Jimin in hopes to break the tension between you two— which technically isn’t tension at all given Jimin is the only one who finds your new friendship odd. Well him and the rest of the students who saw you two talking together.
Jimin had asked what you had planned, and when you replied with frat party, he felt physically ill.
Jimin: absolutely not. sorry.
You: hear me out, it’s not even a big party
You: it’s very discreet and there’s only gonna be a couple people
Jimin locks eyes with you from across the room and mouths “no” with an adamant shake of his head. You roll your eyes before your thumbs get back to texting him.
You: we can pregame before we go so u can loosen up
You: if you’re with me, there’s nothing to worry about
Jimin wants to be offended. He most definitely does not need you at his rescue. The intent however was a little sweet. God Jimin is reminded exactly why he despised you— you’re perfect.
Jimin: i’ll think about it. that’s not a yes.
He pretends he doesn’t notice the little happy dance you do in your seat, nor the squeal of excitement you let out even though he didn’t give a definite answer.
Jimin starts to smile, but when he looks to his left he sees someone else who’s smiling at you and it vanishes. Taehyung. Completely gawking at you, Jimin fights that weird feeling that suddenly engulfs him. Maybe it’s the fact he’s hiding his new friendship with you from Tae.
Either that or somewhere in his subconscious, he doesn’t like how Tae is smiling at you.
“God dude, isn’t she so cute.” Tae whispers, completely oblivious to why you’re dancing in you’re seat.
Jimin trails his gaze to his lap as a bitter mood takes hold of him.
“Yeah… definitely.”
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Jimin is in a rut.
Even though he’s still not certain about going to that party, finding a potential outfit never hurt anyone. Moments after he got home he was already sucked into his closet by the magnetic pull of all the great clothes he has— even though he knows himself well enough to understand he will end up changing into his “boy clothes” no matter what he ends up choosing.
He slips on a black, oversized distressed sweater. The seams are ripped in just the right places, leaving a fraction of his chest, his belly, and a dash of his waist to be visible beneath the shredded fabric. The back showcases a fair amount of skin as well.
This one, Jimin thinks to himself, isn’t so feminine. It’s doable. Maybe.
He wants to pair it with a skirt but that would only be a waste of time because if he can’t even leave his apartment in a skirt to check the mailbox, he sure as hell will not be wearing it to a frat party of all places.
He grabs a pair of black chinos that he thrifted not so long ago, letting it rest low on his waist. He pulls the look together with black combat boots and a dainty necklace that he tucks beneath the sweater. It makes him feel pretty despite the fact he’s the only one aware it’s on him.
He steps back to absorb the outfit in the mirror, and he feels good. It’s a combination of both masculine and feminine and it’s definitely testing the waters but Jimin knows his night won’t be enjoyable in the least if he wears a baggy hoodie or tee. He likes what he has on, even if the frat boys will give him shit for it. Which they definitely will.
He hears Daisy meow across the room, and upon directed his gaze to her his eyes settle on the makeup bag tucked into the far back corner of his desk.
He’s tempted, he is. But he can’t. He’s not ready yet.
Just as he begins to walk towards his desk, only enticing himself further, a knock on his door is heard and he takes that as a sign from god herself that he should skip the makeup.
With a sigh, he heads to the door.
“Knock… Knock… Knock!”
“Just a minute! For fuck’s sake.”
Irritated at the swat team-like announcement, Jimin swings the door open to reveal none other than Jessica Rabbit?
“You didn’t tell me it was a costume party!” Jimin complains as he steps aside, gesturing you to come in.
Both hands holding a bottle of E&J, you let yourself in and place the bottle on his countertop.
“Oh yeah, it’s a costume party.”
“It’s not even halloween,” Jimin states the obvious as he instinctively heads for two glasses out of his cupboard.
“It’s to make up for last year. There was a big game the day of halloween so none of the guys were in a party mentality.”
Party Mentality?
Jimin can’t believe he’s hearing about frat news from you, who is in his apartment dressed like Jessica Rabbit and is downing a shot straight from the bottle. What has his life come to.
You notice him staring so you apologize as you offer him the bottle to pour.
“Figured we’d pregame like I said. Also we gotta figure out a costume for you. Ooh what about a slutty artist or something.”
Jimin swears you make him lose brain cells. Sliding a now-filled glass toward you, he takes a large gulp of his own.
“Slutty artist?” He thinks out loud. “I’m fine with what I have on.”
Jimin counts down the seconds until you praise his bold sweater choice, but he can feel the alcohol rise back up when you say the opposite.
“In all honestly I thought that was a sleep shirt. We’re putting you in something else.”
You navigate yourself straight to what you assume is him bedroom, and Jimin nearly falls flat on his face chasing after you.
This may be a bit embarrassing for Jimin to admit to himself, but he’s never had a girl in his room before. It’s intimate, he thinks. Having someone inside a room that has witnessed every one of his breakdowns, outfit changes, alone time moments, etcetera. Jimin cringes as memories from the other night come back to him.
“Cute room,” you tell him as you look around, admiring the fairy lights and album covers displayed. Jimin was always big on music. Maybe posters were too far given his age, but he didn’t care. He never thought someone else would ever see them.
Although, Tae has been to Jimin’s place before. He knows about the posters and fairy lights. Though he never once questioned it or even talked about it. Only when he called that one poster of Ariana Grande hot. That’s what Jimin likes about Tae, he never questions him. But it’s not like Jimin gives him much to wonder about. He’s completely masked to the eyes of his best friend.
“This,” you start, dramatic tone and all, “this is gorg.” You hold out his favorite black skirt, and it’s lightening quick how fast he snatches it from you.
“No.” He tells you, cheeks getting hot. He’s embarrassed to say the least. He knows you know about his self esteem issues, but you have yet to discover his fondness for feminine clothing. But you have now.
“What? You’re embarrassed I found a skirt? If it’s socially acceptable for women to wear sweats, then it should be acceptable for men to wear skirts.”
Someone who gets it, Jimin thinks. This is the first time he’s ever felt understood when it comes to this, and he doesn’t quite know what to say.
“But skirt or no skirt, I think it’s important that you feel sexy tonight.”
“And why is that?” Jimin plays along. He takes a seat on the edge of his bed as you continue to look through his wardrobe.
“Because halloween parties exist solely for people to feel sexy all night.”
“It’s not halloween,” Jimin argues again, earning a shirt thrown at his face. Giggling, he holds it out in front of him.
You stand in front of his closet with a look of excitement on your face. His reaction disappoints you, however.
“Y/N, no. I can’t wear this out.”
“Just try it on.”
He knew this was part of your plan to get him to gain a little confidence and even convince him to leave the house in something he feels good in, but Jimin is adamant. He cannot wear this.
It’s a fitted baseball tee, extremely cropped and a shade of pale pink. Jimin cannot leave the house like this, despite how good it makes him feel deep down.
Reluctant and a tad shy, Jimin removes his sweatshirt from his body as he replaces it with what you threw at him. In the short moment he was bare, you might’ve stole a glance at his figure. His body is perfect, you think. Slim waist with faint yet toned abs and a noticeable amount of muscle on his arms. You take another sip of the drink that has yet to leave your hand.
“I look stupid.”
“You look sexy.”
The compliment was unexpected and was more than enough to have Jimin’s eyes widen. He breaks eye contact because how could he not, and he self consciously wraps an arm around his stomach.
More so his lap.
“I don’t know,” he says faintly, mumbling over his speech. “I think it’s a bit much.”
“Change to grey sweats. You can tell people you’re a 60’s athlete, they dressed like this back in the day you know.”
Yeah right, tell a bunch of actual scary frat boy athletes that’s he’s mocking their style from the 60’s.
His brows furrow when you step closer to him, reclining down and reaching for the skirt he had snatched from you. You grab one of his wrists, placing the bunched up material into his hand. His cheeks are on fire, his heartbeat picking up.
“Try it on,” you whisper. “For me.”
And fuck. Jimin is fully erect. He physically cannot bring himself to stand let alone change in front of you. He pushes your hand away, never wanting to disappear so badly.
“Another time. You already got me to wear this tee, baby steps.”
Disappointed, you think he’s right. You can’t beg him to gain confidence to wear an entire outfit like this on the first day of his journey. It takes time, and luck for Jimin you’re very patient.
“Another time,” you repeat softly.
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Jimin has been to a function with very little people before. He knows what a small little get together looks like. This party— it isn’t that.
“You said a couple people!” He shouts over the blairing music as you pull him through the front hall and to the packed kitchen.
He has no clue who’s house this is and he hasn’t seen a single normal person. Everyone is either drunk, high, or the worst: a frat. He shivers in discomfort before you bring a shot glass to his lips.
“Guess word spread and more people came, no biggie.”
He downs the shot of what turns out to be tequila, wincing as he coughs out a reply.
“Huge biggie.” He looks around the crowded house after a bystander drunkenly bumps into him and slurs an incoherent apology.
This was a mistake.
“Y/N, what is the point of me being here? This isn’t making me feel good about myself in the least, this isn’t my environment.”
You take another shot before quickly grabbing a lime and placing it between Jimin’s plump lips, and before he can register what you’re doing, your lips are already on his as you suck from the lime. Nipping the fruit with your teeth you pull it out and drop it into the sink, grin wide as Jimin turns fire hydrant red.
That shouldn’t count as a kiss, but you just sort-of-kissed Jimin. His mouth is dry, heartbeat in his stomach, and he is hyper alert on the way his knees are subtly shaking.
“Ease up Jimin, it’s gonna be a long night.”
He didn’t know it then but that’s the last time he’d be seeing you until the end of the party. He sauntered off to a random couch that was unoccupied for the most part, only some random (and gross) couple having a full blown make out session on the opposite side.
He made sure to keep his cup filled the whole night as that’s the only thing keeping him from walking straight out the door and back into the comfort of anything that’s not this party.
He’s spotted Tae a few times, who is dressed as Jack from the titanic, but Tae hasn’t noticed him yet which is probably because his rather different fashion approach and the fact he’s at a frat party. If anything that should be a reason Tae spots him since he’s the odd one out, Jimin thinks. Then again it is a costume party and no one look normal per-say. Nor is Tae the sharpest tool in the shed.
He also thanks the universe for not letting Tae notice you and Jimin arrive together.
He’s been glancing at you for a while now, the way you sway your hips to the rap song playing on the surround sound speakers. The way your skin is glowing even under the dim, groggy lights of the house. He watches the way smoke exits your mouth as Tae places a blunt between your perfect lips. He looks away when Tae also places a hand on your waist, dancing with you so intimately that it pains Jimin to see.
He knows he’ll be hearing all about this from Tae. You’re his favorite person, he’s probably over the moon about dancing with you right now.
“Jimin?” Speaking of the devil.
Jimin waves awkwardly as Tae whispers something to you and proceeds to walk towards his direction. You go off to dance with a frat guy who’s been waiting all night to have your attention. Jimin finds him pathetic.
“What are you doing here? You never come to these kinds of things.”
The music is loud but that’s nothing compared to how deep and confident Tae’s voice is. Despite Jimin’s desire to be more feminine, there are some masculine traits he wishes to have. A deeper voice is one of them. Not Tae’s level of deep, but deeper than what his currently is.
“A friend forced me to,” he admits, not naming names because how could he.
“Oh you have friends?” The younger man teases, earning a grumpy eye roll from Jimin. He takes another swig out of his cup.
Jimin remembers what he’s wearing and wonders why his best friend hasn’t said anything about it yet. He almost wants to point it out so it doesn’t awkwardly go unsaid and leaves Tae to catch on to his secret need for femininity.
“Like my costume?” Jimin asks, masking the fact that this is actually just a random shirt he’s had in his wardrobe and not a costume.
Tae gives him a quick once over, not lingering his eyes on the top for long.
“Oh what are you supposed to be?”
He definitely thought that wasn’t a costume and instead a normal outfit. Jimin cringes, hating you right now more than ever for making him show up in this. But he also loves you for providing him with the save he’s about to use on Tae.
“I’m a 60’s athlete. They used to dress like this you know.”
Taehyung hums, genuinely convinced.
“Wah that’s clever. I thought that was yours for a sec.”
Jimin hates himself for what he’s about to say.
“Why on earth would I own a pink crop top, that’s ridiculous.”
They laugh it off, and Jimin feels a gut wrenching pang in his stomach. That sentence wasn’t made for him, and it made him a liar and a hypocrite to his own desire.
He needs to go now before he says even more self damaging nonsense.
“Hey Tae, do you think you can get me a blunt?” Jimin asks in hopes to excuse his friend and, well, get high.
“Is this coming from the same person that said smoking isn’t good for you?”
Jimin remembers when he said that but he’s far too drained to be defensive or right. He shrugs as he admits to his hypocrisy.
“Yeah well so are frat parties but here I am. Cough one up, I know you have some.”
Tae stands up to reach in his front pocket, pulling out a steep tin that reveals 3 joints. He hands one to Jimin, telling him a brief “I’ll be back” before vanishing to find you again.
Something told Jimin to stay at the party despite how badly he wanted to go. He thought about how it may make you sad if he were to just leave, then he ridded that idea because why on earth would that make you sad. Nevertheless, he glanced outside to see if the crowd was acceptable to join. It wasn’t.
Deciding to not smoke with a bunch of frat guys, he goes the alternative route and heads for the hallway to secure an empty room. When he succeeds, he closes the door behind him and props the window open as he lights the tip of his joint.
He doesn’t smoke often, barely at all, but he needed this. As the smoke entered into his mouth he inhaled it eagerly, head rolling back as he slowly blows it all back out. This feels good, he thinks. The atmosphere on the other hand still could be better.
Jimin laughs to himself. Smoking weed at a frat party you invited him to. The world is funny that way, he nods to himself. Almost as funny as how you’re all he can think about right now.
He doesn’t know what it is. It’s not hate. For sure not love. He’s just thinking about you. Perhaps he misses your company? Or the way your skirts never reveal too much but just enough to drive him crazy.
The way your pouty lips move when you talk.
Your soft skin.
Your silky voice.
The way you look in that Jessica Rabbit costume you wore tonight.
Jimin is painfully erect, and without even noticing his hand has been palming himself desperately this entire time, blunt being delicately held in the other hand, occasionally being brought up for more puffs to fuel what he’s doing right now.
“Fuck Y/N, yes.”
He unties his sweats. One more rough drag and he kills the blunt on the rim of the windowsill, both hands focusing on himself now. One hand tugging his waistband down, the other guiding himself out. And all he can think about is how sexy you are.
He gets carried away, going so fast on himself that he doesn’t hear or see the door open. He’s high beyond belief, god only knows what Taehyung had laced in that blunt, and so when he sees you he swears his imagination is just very vivid.
Until his conscience registers and he almost squeals as he lunges back in shock of the situation.
Quickly you run up to him just in time to pull his entire body back and preventing him from falling out the window. You’re breathing heavy, half because of what you saw moments before and partially because you just saved his life.
“Fuck Jimin, be careful.”
And how fucking peculiar it is that you’re not addressing his cock that is out in the open between the two of you.
Jimin can’t speak. He almost literally died from being caught jerking himself to you while being high out his mind.
What a fucking legacy he’d have left.
After catching his breath he frantically goes to put himself away but his hand is stopped by yours.
“You know people sneak into rooms at parties to have sex with each other, not to do themselves.”
His cheeks flush red.
“Only freaks do that.”
Jimin has wanted to before, but he officially wants to unalive himself. How pathetic he is, he thinks.
“I’m sorry, I… I’m really high right now and I thought I locked the—“
He cuts himself off when you guide his hand back onto himself.
“You’re not gonna ask me why I came in here?”
Jimin takes a deep breath.
“Why?”
You pull your bottom lip into your mouth, very slowly putting his own hand into motion against himself.
“Because I’m a freak too.”
Your words came out in a faint whisper but Jimin’s senses are heightened and he hears it like a megaphone in his ears. Your tits are practically spilling out your tiny red tube dress as you lean to help him stroke himself. A shiver cascades down his whole body, an unintentional yet hesitant whimper rumbling off his throat.
You giggle, then abruptly you stand. You lean down and peck him on his frozen, plump lips.
“Have a good night Jimin, I’ll be in contact for our next power move.” You walk towards the door. “Masturbating is a good way to show yourself love, kudos to you kid.”
Jimin’s hand is glued to his stiff cock, frozenly just keeping it there as he stares at you with his mouth agape.
“I’ll lock this on my way out, by all means finish and do not fall out any windows.”
And just like that you open the door only a couple inches and squeeze out to give him privacy. He’s left in the same spot, still in absolute shock.
You’re perfect.
You’re beautiful, and apparently so fucking sexy in sexual situations. It takes only one more stroke and one more thought of you for Jimin to reach the finish line, cum dropping down his hand and shaft as he fucks into his fist.
He breathes jaggedly until he’s drained of all energy and collapses on the bed.
To his shock, he’s not freaking out. He’s actually smiling. Then again that could easily be the weed talking. What did taehyung put in that anyway?
Jimin’s smile dissipates as an ugly thought sends a cold chill throughout him.
You’re his best friend’s crush. You’re Taehyung's. And he just betrayed him. Jimin hates how the universe works sometimes. When one thing goes well, the whole world goes to shit.
The world is funny that way.
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ply pt 2???? im sorry for how long it took luvies, last year was so intense. i hope you all are still here to read😿 run this uppppp cuties!! til next time luvs🤭❤️
🏷️: @exactlygreatcoffee @sweetieguk @ctrlsht @blessrious @someusername133 @dreamer-pjm @zadkielr @dearsullix @lailaaxd @osakis-gf @jnghs @seltansworld @bxnqtxnie @moon-kid39 @mawwnsterr @zadkielr @iamjimintrash @chansbaybygirl @canarystwin @dearsullix @polyparkj @mannymalfoy @jmincore @kyglover @coralmusicblaze @midnightangel13 @jm-jkfics @lovelyflower02 @xcherrywaltz
soooo many of u guys who asked to be in the taglist changed your usernames so unfortunately i couldn't tag u☹️hopefully this found u!🫶🏻
(for anyone else who'd like to be in the taglist pls reply to this post <3)
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darkelixirr · 1 month
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You're Mine. - Park Jimin
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Just a little jealousy...
♡pairing: jealousy!jimin x fem!reader ♡rating: explicit!mature 18+ ♡genre: SMUT ♡wc: 1.3k
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You and Jimin out with friends. Spending time with each other, laughing and enjoying the many conversations. He can't seem to keep his hands to himself. Always groping at your thighs, his hands going to where you need them the most.
"Jimin.. Please.." You whisper low enough for him to hear. A chuckle leaves his lips. You know he heard you, the grip on your thigh told you that. But he continued on his conversation with his friends. Ignoring the neediness in your voice.
You couldn't help but spread your legs, begging him silently to touch you. To ease the ache between your legs. You leaned back in your seat, a deep breath emitting from your lips as you squeezed your thighs together.
"So, how has it been?" You looked up, plastering a smile on your face.
"It's been g-good." Jimin tightened his grip on your thigh.
"We should hang out some time, together alone you know." You hummed, a tight smile on your face. You glanced over at Jimin. His face was stern, his eyes never leaving the boy in front of you. You placed your hand on his thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He let out a deep breath, straightening his posture.
You felt his hand move up your thigh, your skirt bunching up around his waist. You let out a shaky sigh. His fingers grazed over your exposed pussy, a smirk playing on his face.
"You're mine."
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seokjins-luigi · 11 months
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i hate everything about you | pt. 2 | pjm
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・pairing: ex!jimin x ex!f!reader
・genre: exes to ? | angst | smut
18+
・word count: 4.2k
・summary: accidentally, you bump into your ex who, mind you, previously cheated on you. so you're 99% sure the only feeling you have left for him is sheer hate. but the 1% leaves you questioning.
・banner: by the amazing @/kookdiaries
・A/N: i'm very sorry for making you wait for so long ): but finally, here's part 2 of this story. i wanna thank everyone for the amazing feedback 💜
again: here's a playlist for y'all to play as you read it, if you want to hehe
as always, thank you to my soulmate @primadonnasdream for helping me build my stories. hope you guys enjoy the reading :))
if you wanna be added to any of my taglists, just leave a comment here. feedback is always appreciated, sweeties 💜
・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn
・taglist:@imluckybitches @bbtsficrecs @minijagiya @jackinthethroat @arckyive @chimchimmarie @bex-92br @rkvi @hoseok666 @joonsytip @callmejimmeo @koreanaestheticc @tea4sykes @pamzn @nikkiordonez12 @withluvjm @natalie-rdr @south09 @hannahdanyelle @vonvi-blog @leticiaesteveslp @sheylamc @kooklovee
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You like to think of yourself as a not complicated type of person. Most of the time, you’re logic-oriented, try not jumping into conclusions and, above all else, you don’t waste your precious time obsessing over things that are outside of your control. 
This has been working for your chill personality for your entire life just fine, but when it comes to Park Jimin, none of it applies to you. 
Today, you wake up feeling extremely tired after the awful night of sleep you obviously had. Unfortunately, you couldn’t think about anything else other than fucking Park Jimin. The things he had said kept replaying in your mind in a never ending loop. Totally obsessing over it and this is so unlike you, it hurts. 
You watched the dark shades of the night turn into the golden shades of the morning through the thin curtains of your bedroom window. What did he mean when he asked you if you still had no idea? Was he trying to manipulate you or was there something you really didn’t know about the situation?
As much as you keep trying to convince yourself that you don’t want to dig into it, you know that you very much want to dig into it. You nor only just want, you need to. If anything, it’ll give you closure. Although it sounds bizarre and you honestly didn’t have the faintest idea of what this could be about, it really felt like some part of Jimin was being honest.
“I wanna tell you everything”, he actually said that. Maybe there is something to be told. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking, maybe you are only falling under his spell all over again. But the fact that you were the one who did not let him speak last night is eating you alive, now you’re anxious and nervous and it’s all your own fault.
You were just sure things could not go on like this, because it was starting to affect your work. You kept losing focus on your meetings with clients, forgetting about important tasks or overlooking details that should not be overlooked. This is where you draw the line. You can’t allow Jimin’s influence in your life to go this far. One time was enough, you can’t allow him to mess with your head again. 
After pondering about it for hours, you decide to go looking for him. You know the only way out of this spiraling mode you’re in right now is to have an honest and thorough conversation with Jimin, because you deserve to know the truth. 
When you arrive at the bar, the place Jungkook took you last night, you see Jimin’s car parked nearby. It was almost exactly six o’clock and you’re sure he had arrived at work already, he’s always been a responsible guy. Luckily, as if destiny was giving you a hand, not even a minute later you see the glass door of the bar being opened and a second later Jimin passes through. 
You see your ex heading towards his car, he doesn’t seem to have seen you across the street. You hesitate for a second, but you force yourself to go to him. 
Each step you take in his direction makes you want to just run away as fast as you can, almost as if you can’t take the anticipation. You need this. You need closure. You can do this, Y/n.
As you got near, you saw him looking for something in the glove compartment, still unaware of your presence. You take a deep breath and call his name.
“Jimin?” You’re surprised with how confident you sounded. 
He snapped his head in your direction, confusion stamped all over his face.
“Y/n?” He furrowed his eyebrows, turning to you as he spoke. “What are you doing here?”
“Can we talk?” You looked him in the eyes and he returned the deepness of your own. “Please?”
“Y/n, about last night… I’m really sorry. I was drunk, I shouldn’t have gone there and bothered you with my shit”.
“I can forgive you for last night if you tell me the whole story”, he looked down to his feet before you could finish the sentence, breaking eye contact with you. “Jimin-ssi, I deserve to know”.
He turns his back, delicately closing the door of his car. He, then, turns back to you, finally looking into your eyes once again, the surprise from his eyes is gone and you’re not sure of what you see there. 
“All I can say is I’m sorry for last night, but”, he leans and rests his body against his car, displaying an annoyingly nonchalant expression on his fucking face as he shrugs. “There’s nothing to tell”.
At this moment you remember why you hate his ass. It’s ridiculous how he can look you straight in the eyes and lie to you after the scene he pulled hours ago in your house. 
You take a deep, frustrated breath.
“Fucking bullshit! Thanks for reminding me how much of an asshole you are, Jimin. I almost forgot”, you smile dryly. “I hope next time you drink, you don't show up at my doorstep whining again, ok? Next time I’ll call the fucking police”.
With a smirk, he declares. “There'll be no next time, Y/n. Rest assured”.
“Well, praise the lord, huh?” You reply in a sharp tone, not allowing him to say his piece. “I regret every single tear I’ve wasted on you. You… You were the worst mistake I’ve ever made”.
He glares at you with contempt plastered all over his face, his plump lips tightened as his brows rose. You wish punching people in the face didn’t cause as much trouble as it does, because you can swear to all gods that have ever existed that the only thing you want at this moment is to punch this expression off his face. 
“Say that again”, he challenges you, brows still in the same position as before, with a darker shade of brown on his eyes.
You refuse to give him the satisfaction. 
“You’re not deaf”, now you’re the one who answers challengingly, raising your own brows as you try to speak calmly. “Next time we bump into each other, do me the favor of pretending you don’t know me”.
You turn your back to him and march back to your own car, hating yourself for dragging your ass all the way to this fucking bar again, only to have him mock you. You rush back into your car, knowing fully well that there’s a big chance that Jimin’s still observing you, so you can’t allow yourself to cry. You were not even sad, you’re genuinely pissed, but unfortunately you’re an angry crier. 
You could run over him if it wasn’t a crime. As you are about to connect the keys to the ignition, you hear a soft knock on your window and you just know it’s him. Rolling your eyes, you turn your head in Jimin’s direction and he gestures, asking you to roll your window down.
You do as he says and hiss impatiently. “What?”
“One last fuck and we’ll forget about each other”, he licks his lips in an obvious attempt to make you feel something.
Unfortunately, you do. But fortunately, you’re pretty good at hiding your emotions when you really want to. So you just throw your head back and let out a very ironic laughter. 
“What’s so funny, Y/n?” He asks you, with a piercing look in his dark eyes, tilting his head to the side slightly. 
“I just told you you were the worst mistake I’ve made, man…” You let out another laugh, less energetically. “Are you into degradation now? I’m not really into that kind of kink, sorry”.
“Oh, come on, Y/n. You fucking love angry sex”, he declared in a lower tone, with a raspy voice that he knows makes you feel things. 
He has a point, you do love angry sex. As you keep silent, Jimin continues.
“Let me take you to my place, it’s just around the corner…” his eyes focus on your lips as he speaks. “Let me fuck you, until you forget why you’re mad at me. You know how good I am… Just this one last time, then you can go back to pretending I don’t exist”.
You do know how good he is. You hate to admit, even if it’s just to yourself, but he’s more than good. Your sex life with Jimin has always been great, actually, that’s why you got even more hurt when he cheated. You used to think you were enough for him, that you satisfied him as much as he did to you. Apparently not. And that broke your confidence and self esteem in a way that you’re still trying to recover.
You’re pissed at him, but you can’t deny that you’re still insanely attracted to this motherfucker, regardless of your history. Your mind desperately says no, but your but urges you to say yes.
“Why would I say yes to this ridiculous proposition?” You scoff, trying to mask the fact that this is you already starting to give in.
“Simply because you know you want me to fuck you”, he declares with a knowing smirk.
The way he’s looking at you right now is definitely not helping you to stay focused on maintaining your sense of dignity. His plump lips slightly parted, forming a deliciously attractive dirty grin, his eyes intensely glued onto your own lips as he waits for your answer. You can’t deny how magnetic he feels.
He leans further in your direction, cupping your face with one of his hands, running his thumb over your mouth. You are simply unable to stop yourself from delicately parting your lips, taking his thumb between them and sucking it softly. He lets out a heavy breath, locking his dark eyes with you as your skilled tongue runs along his finger.
“Let’s go, babe”, he almost begged this time.
He didn’t have to ask you again, unfortunately. He opened your car door and next thing you knew, he was dragging you up the stairs of his building until you saw yourself inside his small apartment. 
As soon as you were inside, he pushed you against the front door and started kissing you hungrily. Just like the last kiss inside your place last night, it feels like Jimin is hungry for you, it feels like he can devour you right then and there. His tongue tastes yours with desperation, making it difficult for you to breathe. One of his hands lands beside your head, on the door, and the other travels up your body, from your waist to your boobs. 
The kiss is messy and intense, not only for him, but for you too, your mind can’t seem to focus on anything other than Jimin. It feels like time and space aren’t real when you’re with him, just like it was then. 
Reaching for the hem of his shirt, you tug it in order to get rid of it as quickly as possible, getting rid of yours in the middle of the way too. 
“You missed this, didn't you?” Jimin places your hand on his abs as he whispers with a cocky grin.
“I think you missed these much more”, you reply with the same amount of cockyness as him, guiding his hands to your boobs.
“Oh, I fucking did”, he whispers again, mouth already glued to your neck as he kneads your breasts.
In the back of your mind, a little annoying voice tries to warn you, saying you will regret this later. But, honestly, who gives a fuck? Life’s hard enough for you to worry about future regrets. You’ll hate yourself for fucking Jimin when the times comes, right now, all you want to focus is on his devious tongue and the crazily good patterns it’s drawing all over your neck. You’re so lost into Jimin’s magic that you don’t even realize you let a moan escape your lips driving your ex even more mad.
His mouth is back on yours and he pushes you towards the couch sitting in the corner of his small living room, throwing you carelessly against it. His tongue is already pushing his way between your lips, you close your eyes, focusing only on the intensity of Jimin’s kiss. It feels like you’re back to the beginning of everything, this kiss feels like what it felt like kissing Jimin for the first time. The passion is still there and you will deal with it later.
“Let’s get rid of this, shall we?” He asks you, pulling the strap of your bra down, almost not waiting for your nod of approval. 
You both sloppily get rid of the rest of your clothes, tossing them carelessly on the floor of your ex’s living room. Next thing you knew, he had two fingers in you and your nipple in his mouth. He sucked and licked your nipples in a passion that had you gasping and his fingers were bent inside your thoroughly wet pussy. He knows exactly what he’s doing with his fingers and his mouth, he knows exactly how you like it and that’s why it feels so good. Being with someone who knows you and what you like is so much better than spending the night in a stranger's bed like in the countless one-night stands you’ve had the past few months.
“You’re so fucking wet right now, babe… It’s ridiculous how much you want me to fuck you, huh?” He teases you, lips brushing lightly against your already sensitive nipple as he speaks.
You let out a loud moan this time, staring back at his intense black eyes, and nod. 
“I do, Ji”, in a distressed attempt for grounding, you scratch his back with your nails, not minding if it’ll leave him marked or not. He gasps and you continue. 
“Please, just fuck me, Ji-”.
“Of course, babe, anything you ask”, he cuts you mid sentence.
He pulled his fingers out of you and, before you could whine about it, he shut you up with another messy kiss, but also full of desire. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted both your bodies up, switching places with you on the couch. He positioned himself between your legs, making the tip of his cock touch your wet and throbbing folds.
“Rid me, Y/n”, he asks you, half tenderly, half assertive. “Show me how much you miss me”.
You felt something inside you shake. This is so fucking wrong.
But without thinking too much about it, you let your weight down on his cock, feeling the delicious stretch all at once. Both of your breaths falter, basking in the divine sensation of him being inside you. 
Your hips started moving on their own, as the pleasure started to consume your mind completely. You had your eyes on Jimin’s beautiful face, now fully taken over by lust, darkening his features in an irresistible way. His plump lips parted and he moaned, making you forget completely about everything else around you. 
Your movements were starting to become desperate, feeling the way his cock fills you up completely, as he tries to pick up your speed with his own skillful hips. Both of you were loudly showing how good you can give it to each other.
His hand travels up your body, as he lifts his upper body to reach the back of your neck. He sticks his tongue out and licks the side of your neck, the warm and moist sensation makes you close your eyes instantly. 
“If you don’t take it slow, I won’t last much longer, babe…” He whispers, as he grasps your hair tightly. “Can I take over now?”
You hum. You love being in control, but you love it even more when Jimin is in control. He instantly switches positions with you, thrusting hard the moment your back touches the couch, in a slower, but deeper pace compared to how you were riding his cock just now. 
The intensity of his thrusts have you clenching around his cock. Shaky breaths leave both of your lips, both of you too focused on the ecstatic feeling of being together. The sounds of your wet pussy being snapped against his cock, his balls slapping against your naked ass mixed with your moans and pants.
“I could…” He thrusts you one more time, deeper than before. “Fuck this pussy forever”.
You feel your walls clenching tighter around his cock, not missing a single inch of his length being pushed inside of you. 
“Look how… how good you take it, babe”, he groans in your ear with his cock buried deep inside of you.
You feel his cock twitch and another moan escapes his parted lips. You’re both almost out of breath. You know he won’t last much longer now if he continues to hammer you in this intensity. Your body tingles with pleasure with every single thrust of his hips.
At this point, you’re just a moany mess. Your heart is racing and in every pump you can feel the adrenaline flowing through your veins. Jimin’s thrusts start to become desperate and out of pace, while you can feel the burning sensation building in your lower stomach. 
One of your hands travels to your clit, your head snaps back when your fingers finally touch your throbbing sex, feeling the divine sensation spreading throughout your body. Jimin replaces your fingers with his own, with a cocky grin hanging on his swollen lips.
“Fucking slut, look at you…” Moving  his fingers in circular patterns as he pants and thrusts and gazes at you with his dark, lusty eyes. “You still like it messy, huh?”
“Ye-”.
Before you could finish, the electric sensation takes over your whole body and all you can focus on is the pleasure taking over you. You whimper as the orgasm spreads through your veins, screaming Jimin’s name. Clenching even harder around his dick as your pussy spilt out your juices all over his twitching cock. 
He bites your shoulder and you feel like he’s on the brim of cuming too.
“Ji, I- I want you to fill me up”, you whispered in between your pants. “I want it all”.
“Y-Yeah?” You know he’s struggling to hold back by the sound of his shaky, low pitched voice. “Are you gonna take all of it like the good girl that you are, babe?”
You want him so bad. You want to feel everything you missed out on in the last months away from him. 
“I will, Ji, please”, you looked at him, eyes pleading as you gave yourself completely to him. Once again. 
He thrusted deep inside of your pussy one last time, allowing his orgasm to take over him and cuming deep inside of you, painting your clenching walls white. Both of you are too out of breath to move, so you just take your time breathing and trying to recompose yourselves before Jimin pulls out of you. Sweat covering both of your naked bodies on a weekday afternoon. 
You closed your eyes, feeling the tiredness and soreness, but also the delightfulness and the lingering sensation of pleasure. This motherfucker was right, what you two have is not easy to find. This chemistry.
You open your eyes when you feel Jimin’s body weight being lifted up from yours. You take your time looking at him and he is still just as beautiful as you remember. Not just hot, that’s obvious. But he’s also beautiful like very few men in the world are.
He sees you’re staring and smiles cockily. 
“Too handsome, huh?” 
“Unfortunately, I have to agree”, you roll your eyes, almost playfully. 
He laughs softly and throws himself on you again, laying his head between your breasts and hugging you. It’s ridiculous to admit, but it just feels right. 
Both of you remain silent. The only thing that can be heard are both of you trying to catch your breaths, but you don’t even pay attention to that. You’re nervous. There are so many questions you wanna ask and even though this feels right at this moment, this man made you suffer like hell not so long ago. 
“Ugh, I don’t wanna get up”, he declares in a lazy voice, his face still between your breasts. “You almost make me want to miss work”.
You sigh. This is too much, too domestic, too nostalgic, but you want to be right here, exactly like you are, in his arms. All the things he said to you yesterday flash through your mind. How he said he missed you, how he begged for you two to talk and you refused to listen. You were hurting so much you couldn’t see through the pain and resentment. 
“I’ve missed this”, you finally confess in a whisper.
But you’re sure he could hear you, because his arms closed even tighter around you.
“Me too, babe”, he murmurs the answer. 
Your hand travels up to his silky hair, running your hands through his locks. You’re not sure how long you just stay together like that, enjoying each other’s existence silently, but you finally break the silence.
“We still have a lot to talk about, don't we?”
He lifts his head to look you in the eyes. “Do we?”
“You think we don’t?” The protesting tone was clear as you voiced the question, specially because you didn't find anything genuine in his eyes when he asked you that question.
“We don’t”, he averts his gaze, laying his head almost between the crook of your neck and your shoulder.
“Jimin, look at me…” You try to sound as firm as possible, but it sounds more like a plea than a command.
“Baby… Just- Let’s not do this”, he whispers. “I can’t”.
You lift your body with your elbows so you could look at him, making him untie his arms around you and sit as well.
“What do you mean, Jimin-ssi?” You try again, speaking slowly so your nerves don't get the best of you. 
You don’t want to believe that this is true. He can’t treat you like you’re some random booty call.
“Hey!” He tries giving you an obviously empty smile. “What happened to Ji? I prefer when you call me Ji”.
Also sitting up, bending your legs in order not to touch his anymore. The way he’s speaking to you right now, the way he’s looking at you with empty eyes and an empty smile. You know where this is going and you feel sick to your stomach with the idea that you allowed Jimin to get in your head again and, once more, you end up hurt.
“And I prefer when you tell me the truth!” You raise your voice now, trying to find on his face any signs that you might be wrong.
“I thought I had made myself clear when I said I have nothing to tell you”, he states firmly, averting his gaze from yours. “I have already asked you to forget about this”.
You feel a huge lump in your throat, trying your best not to allow the tears to form in the corner of your eyes. You are not crying in front of Park Jimin ever again. You refuse. Even though it hurts just like it hurted before, you’ll save your tears for another time.
“Really? After fucking me, you’re just gonna ask me to get the fuck out of your life like nothing happened?” 
You watch his face contort, like he was profoundly thinking about what to say next. You suddenly see his expression change and you know this is his sassy snarky side taking over, nothing serious comes out of him when his eyes reflect his darker side like that. 
“I was horny, you were horny. I thought it was clear it wasn’t a bargain”, he still doesn’t look at you while he speaks. “It was just sex”.
And he shrugs. It’s clear to you that this shit’s been a fucking joke to him. A sick fucking joke you never expected him to be capable of. This is not the Jimin you spent years with, the one you loved, the one you wanted to get married to at some point in the past. 
His words cut through you. Just sex. 
You hate everything about this Jimin.
“Of course it was just about sex… I’m sorry if I misunderstood the situation, Jimin. ” You push his legs aggressively so you can get out of the couch. “Excuse me, I wanna leave”.
You start collecting your underwear and clothes from the floor of his stupid house, trying your best to block the tears away. You dress yourself hastily, while Jimin watches you in silence. You head for the door, but he holds your arm lightly, trying to stop you.
“Hey, Y/n… Don’t be like that, I’ll feel guilty”, he pleads softly again.
“Get your hands off of me”, you groan between your teeth without turning to face him. “Also, fuck off”.
He lets go of your arm and you leave his apartment as soon as you can, slamming the door behind you. You rush back to your car and drive away as fast as you can, only allowing yourself to cry your anger and pain out when you’re tucked in bed later that day.
255 notes · View notes
darkjimxn · 8 days
Text
Chapter 3: Stalker [M]
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Summary: “A manwhore and a junkie… it’s a match made in heaven.”
Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader
Genre: High School au, angst
Word Count: 7.4k
Warnings: 18+, substance use disorder/drug addiction, PTSD, child abuse, sexual content (not explicit), additional warnings might be added as story progresses.
A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update, my motivation has just been so bad because of uni. And now with exams coming up, I can't really promise anything, but after my exams are over I'll definitely be more active!
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“God, I want you to absolutely wreck me.”
The bedroom suddenly quieted, its dim lighting beginning to wrap around the walls and furniture of the room to form an uncomfortably suffocating atmosphere. Or maybe Jimin was just projecting his own deteriorating feelings onto the innocent space. He was well aware that his mind shouldn’t have latched onto the words of the innocent woman he currently had pinned to his bed, shouldn’t have started picturing her wishes in his head, yet he couldn’t stop it. He’s never been able to stop it. But that didn’t stop him from trying every time. 
The more he envisioned the actions, the more he could feel those familiar ghostly hands crawl up his spine. His mind grasped at something, anything else to focus on. 
In his desperation, his unsteady gaze dropped to the girl beneath him. She was the epitome of conventionally attractive, with long, light brown hair sprawled around his mattress and dainty facial features. Modelling agencies would probably die for this girl if she gave them a chance. 
But at the moment she was just a distraction. Or at least she had been, until she had opened her mouth. 
The logical part of him tried to remind himself that her words were just that: words. She was just a horny girl expressing her preferences. It made sense, considering what they were about to do. And if anything, Jimin appreciated it when women told him what they wanted. It made his life a lot easier. 
But those particular wishes churned uneasily in his stomach as he felt the hands continue to travel up his spine, finding a cosy spot on his neck. His heartbeat, which had been racing for an entirely different reason, now thumped painfully in his chest as it quickened in pace. 
This can’t be happening right now, he thought with a mixture of frustration and desperation. 
Jimin pushed the impending, but familiar, feeling aside, choosing instead to focus on Emily.
That had clearly been a mistake.
“Like, tie me down. Choke me. Use me like a freaking slut. I swear I haven’t been railed in weeks,” she continued while running her fingers through his hair, completely oblivious to Jimin’s deteriorating state.
The feelings he had shoved aside pounded against his poorly constructed dam, fueled by the implications of Emily’s words. He could feel the ghostly hands press harder against his neck, labouring his breathing in the process. It was a telltale sign of the panic that had become so familiar to him. He knew now that there was no escaping this episode, no matter how hard he tried to steady his breathing and calm his nerves. 
What he needed to do was get out of here. 
“Those are a lot of demands to cover in one morning,” he said with a forced chuckle, hoping his voice wasn’t as shaky as he felt, “give me a minute, I’ll be right back.”
Before Emily could protest, Jimin slipped off the bed and half stumbled into his bathroom, just barely managing to lock the door.
And just like that, the dam broke. 
Jimin collapsed onto the tiled floor, desperately trying to get some air into his lungs as memories started to flood his mind. They flashed before him like a montage, nightmare after nightmare stealing his ability to breath. At first, he was back in his childhood home, watching his father push his mother down a flight of stairs while screaming at her like a madman. Jimin could feel his heart racing in his chest as he wondered if she was dead. 
But before he could run to her, his memories moved onto the day his father found out his wife had left. Jimin hadn’t even registered the fact that he’d never see his mother again before his father was on him, shouting at him while his hands enclosed around his neck harder. 
Then he was in his old bedroom, watching the bat in his hands crash into his father’s head as he heard a feminine scream. There was blood everywhere, in the room, on his hands. He tried to wipe it off frantically as it burned his skin, but it didn’t matter. The more he wiped off, the more it spread up his arms. 
All he could do was sit helplessly on the floor of the bathroom, head between his knees, as he shook uncontrollably and gasped for air. But the air wouldn’t come. It was like the ghostly hands had finally succeeded in crushing his windpipe and he could no longer fill his lungs. 
Jimin lurched forward suddenly, feeling his heart hammer painfully in his chest. He swore this time was different. 
He swore this time he was going to die. 
His hand slapped desperately against the counter before it made contact with smooth metal. Relieved, his fingers wrapped around it, pulling it upwards until he could hear the faint sounds of water rushing out of the faucet. He tried to aim his attention to the sound of the water spewing out of the tap, listening intently to the way it sputtered out of the circular piece of metal. Then he focused on the water splashing against the smooth marble sink, running against it momentarily before it was swallowed up by the drain. He could hear the water crash against the pipes under his sink as they whisked the water away. 
It took him what felt like hours to really focus on the sound, letting it sooth him as much as it could. Jimin imagined his memories and panic seeping down the drain alongside it, the black plastic pipes guiding them far away from himself and his house. His breathing started getting a little easier with every passing moment as the memories of his father began to seep back into the locked portion of his mind. 
With small pockets of air now able to enter his lungs, Jimin managed to bring his hand down to the floor. He dragged two of his fingers against it in circles, focusing on the cold of the tile seeping into his fingertips and the rough line of grout between them. He inhaled as his finger met one half of the circle, stalling there for a moment, before exhaling as he completed the round. 
When Jimin finally felt himself calm, only the remnants of a few mild tremors left, he let his back drop against the glass side of his walk-in shower with a sigh. A lingering soreness was spreading throughout his chest as he felt his sweat-soaked shirt stick to his back. Although he was more than familiar with episodes like these, he couldn’t help but wonder why this one had been so particularly bad. 
Either way, the “attack” had left him exhausted, to the point that Jimin almost considered skipping school today. It was especially tempting, considering how much Taehyung had been bothering him recently about the therapy and whether it was working. Jimin had to remind him that he had only gone to one session, though he didn’t mention just how much he had hated it. 
But Jimin knew that there were a few concepts he needed to clarify in his first class, so ditching school was out of the question. 
Not to mention, Jimin’s second period had gotten a lot more interesting when the school had decided to transfer him to a different class because of a few scheduling issues. Particularly your presence had intrigued him, because he was so confused as to how he’d never noticed you before. Sure, Jimin had only been attending this school for the past two years, but he still found it hard to believe that the two of you had never crossed paths. He’d have definitely remembered if that were the case. You were, without a doubt, the most attractive woman he’d ever met, there was no way he would have overlooked a face like that.
Jimin stretched forward, just barely managing to close the faucet without having to get up from his position on the floor. You were fun to tease, and definitely something during sex. Jimin didn’t think he’d ever enjoyed sex as much as he had with you. 
His gaze dropped as he remembered the bottle that had been clutched in your hand that night at Taehyung’s house. It had been a shock to him that you were using, even though technically he was well aware he didn’t know you at all. He wondered if your addiction stopped at Adderall, or did you do more than just that? He hoped you didn’t, for your sake. 
Jimin had wanted to say something about it when he had dropped you off, encourage you to choose a different path for yourself. But he couldn’t seem to find the right words. He had used them all up when his father was still alive, none of which were successful of course. So instead he had walked away, guilt nibbling away at him with every step. 
“Jimin?”
Jimin’s head snapped towards the door as Emily’s muffled voice passed through it. He had practically forgotten that she was still there, too wrapped up in his panic and then his thoughts to remember that she’d probably been waiting for him to come back to his bed. He knew he couldn’t do it. She clearly wanted things that he just couldn’t give her. The prospect of having to explain some lousy excuse to her suddenly made him exhausted all over again. 
But thankfully Emily spoke up again before he could reply, “look, my first class starts soon and I can’t miss it. I guess we’ll have to do this another time.” 
He could hear the disappointment in her tone before he listened to the sound of her footsteps as she walked out of his bedroom, followed by the sound of his front door shutting quickly. When he was sure she was gone, he stood from his spot and made his way to his bedroom, picking up his phone to confirm the time. Emily wasn’t wrong, his first class was starting soon. He would have to get going as well. 
Jimin walked back to his bathroom, standing in front of the mirror above the sink. His gaze scanned the damp, rust-coloured hair sticking to his forehead, and then the beads of sweat travelling down his neck. He grimaced. First, he needed a shower.
-
-
-
Jiwoo was in a mood. 
You had begun to suspect as much at the end of your first class, when she had kicked your bag while stomping out of the classroom. Although Jiwoo was always pulling stunts like that, she’d usually accompany it with an irritating taunt or mocking expression. But it wasn’t until right before second period, when she had purposely bumped into the open pencil case on your desk to scatter it all over the floor, when you became certain.
Jiwoo was in a mood. 
You watched her drop into her seat near the front of the class with an angry huff, uncharacteristically not even bothering to spare you a fake “oops.” Normal Jiwoo was far from a saint, but god did annoyed Jiwoo unlock a different type of rage in you. Her irritation made you wonder how her parents’ divorce was going. Probably not great, if her mood today was anything to go on. 
With an annoyed sigh, you slipped off your chair and lowered yourself to the floor to focus on collecting your things, trying to calm your raging heartbeat and shaking hands in the process. You weren’t sure whether it was because of Jiwoo or the Ritalin. This was your third day on Ritalin even though you had vowed to never take the stuff again. You didn’t really have much of a choice. There was still no news on Yoongi, which meant you were still out of Adderall. And although Ritalin made you crazy with nerves, it still somehow managed to help you focus on your schoolwork. Not to mention you’d much rather be a jittery mess than the dead zombie that your Adderall crash had reduced you to.
Unfortunately, until you could get your hands on some Adderall, Ritalin was your only option. 
You shoved the last of your supplies into your pencil case, brows furrowing when you noticed that you were missing your eraser. But one scan of the floor showed no sign of the white rubber. 
You checked under your desk and then your chair, wondering where it could have disappeared to.
It wasn’t until a pair of black dress shoes and grey dress pants appeared in your line of sight when you realised where your eraser had gone. 
“Looking for something?” Jimin asked in a teasing tone, holding out your white eraser between the tips of his index and middle fingers. 
Your gaze reluctantly travelled up to his smug face, the feeling of annoyance a natural response to his presence at this point. 
“Stealing my car wasn’t enough? Now you want my eraser too?”
Jimin’s head tilted for a moment before he rested a hand on your desk and leaned forward so that his next words could only be heard by you. 
“Why would I want anything more when I’ve already got you on your knees for me, kitten?”
You rolled your eyes, ignoring the tempting view of his sharp jawline, before grabbing your pencil case and pushing yourself off of the ground. Leave it to Jimin to turn every instance into an opportunity to flirt. 
“Weren’t you the one that said I had to ask for sex the next time I wanted it? What happened to that?” You asked with a low voice before taking back your eraser. 
“I never said I couldn’t be tempting.”
Then, to your surprise, Jimin dropped into the empty desk beside yours instead of his usual seat behind you. It took you a second to register the sudden change, and then another to eye him weirdly. 
But before you could ask him what he was doing, Mr. Kim walked into the classroom just as the bell rang. The students rushed to their seats to bring out their textbooks, some of the girls swooning over the alleged new shirt he was wearing. You took your seat quickly, sending Jimin a glare in the process. 
Taehyung hurried into the room just after Mr. Kim, slipping unnoticeably past him before dropping into his usual seat. His eyebrows furrowed for a moment when he noticed Jimin wasn’t sitting next to him, and then they furrowed even further when he realised where he was actually sitting. 
“Come on man, what happened to bros before hoes?” He muttered under his breath. You almost laughed at his sulky expression.
Mr. Kim began writing the lesson on the whiteboard, “please turn to page 245.”
You turned to the page alongside the rest of the class as Jimin did the same, distantly noticing your leg bouncing up and down unconsciously. 
Mr. Kim turned back to the class, beginning the lesson by explaining the concepts on the page he had instructed everyone to turn to. He was one of the better teachers, so you were easily able to understand the seemingly complex concepts.  
That was until Jimin started annoying you, just like he had been doing in class for the past few days. It was always small things, like sneakily drawing random doodles in your notebook when you weren’t looking or stealing your pencil every so often. It took everything in you not to throw your eraser at his face. Instead, you dragged your notebook and supplies to the other side of your desk with a huff.
That just made him laugh, one he had to muffle with his hands so Mr. Kim didn’t call him out. 
The class went on like this, a mixture of evading Jimin’s antics while simultaneously trying to understand the lesson being taught by Mr. Kim. You honestly had to applaud the guy for being able to escape Mr. Kim’s gaze for so long. He was notoriously known for being an observant teacher, and because of that you were sure he knew a lot more student secrets than he let on. 
However, Jimin’s antics had to come to an abrupt end when Mr. Kim placed his whiteboard marker down and faced the class, seemingly finished with teaching the lesson. He called up two students, handing them both stacks of papers to hand out to the rest of the class. 
“Your next assignment will consist of a presentation closely resembling a seminar, where each group will be expected to accurately teach the class on an assigned topic,” he explained, characteristically professional and thoughtful with his words, “since the goal of this assignment will be to facilitate understanding, I will be expecting the incorporation of some creative elements in order to keep the presentation engaging in addition to being informative.”
One of the students that had been handing out the mini booklets finally reached you and Jimin, handing the two of you one each before moving onto Taehyung. 
“The booklets in front of you go over the details pertaining to this assignment. Therefore, I expect you all to read through them thoroughly to avoid losing marks over small mistakes.”
Mr. Kim suddenly smiled, “although, with this being your senior year I doubt you all require such a reminder anyway.”
You watched Jiwoo’s hand shoot into the air as you tried to keep Jimin’s hands off your booklet. Mr. Kim nodded towards her before she spoke, “will we get to choose our own groups?”
“No, I will be assigning the groups, as well as the topics,” he replied, earning him a number of whines and groans. But Mr. Kim merely chuckled, amused, but not willing to change his mind. 
He then turned to the first row of students, grouping them in pairs based on their seating. You groaned inwardly when you realised the pattern he was going by and who, in that case, would end up being your partner. 
“Jimin and Y/N,” Mr. Kim grouped, but then paused when he noticed Taehyung sitting without the deskmate, “and Taehyung.”
“Mr. Kim,” Jiwoo said once again, but this time you rolled your eyes knowing what she was going to bring up, “isn’t it unfair that one group has three students? That will lessen their workload compared to everyone else!”
You noticed Jiwoo send you a mocking smile for a moment, clearly trying to incite you.
Witch. 
“You may rest assured, Ms. Kim. I will ensure everything is as fair as possible,” he reassured with a small smile. But Jiwoo just slid down in her seat, annoyed that her plan to make your life harder had pretty much failed. 
You wished she turned around so you could send her your fakest smile. On one hand was Jiwoo, the most annoying witch in existence, and then on another hand was Jimin, the most annoying jerk in existence. 
What has your life come to?
When the bell finally rang and Mr. Kim dismissed the class, you crumpled one of your rough pieces of paper and threw it at Jimin’s face with a glare. 
It wasn’t much, but boy did it make you feel better. 
“What was that for?” He asked, failing miserably at stifling a laugh. 
“You know what.”
Ignoring Jimin’s amused glance, you packed your bag as your classmates began to chat with each other and started making their way to the cafeteria. You wouldn’t be heading there, though, since you usually spent your breaks in the library studying. It just felt better to get all your work out of the way so you could go home and just sleep for hours. 
You walked out of the classroom, thankful that you could finally get away from the annoying thing known as Park Jimin, and then began walking to the library. The hallways were full of students relaxing and playing around with each other, making you think of Namjoon. He was away on some trip for a maths competition. Or maybe it was for a science competition? Either way, he was off doing his nerd stuff, so you couldn’t invite him to hang out after you finished studying. 
You made it to the library’s front desk, sending a smile to the main librarian who returned it sweetly. 
“Hello, have the study room schedules been made yet?” You asked. 
She answered your question with a nod and, after giving her your name, she began searching the computer for your schedule.  
Since the demand for the very limited number of study rooms in the library was so high, the school had decided to come up with a schedule system for the students that wished to use them, because a first come, first serve approach would be much too “barbaric” for a private school of course. Each student was given a schedule for which study room they were assigned to and when they could use it. 
“Hi, can I get my study schedule please?” A voice asked, “my name is Park Jimin.”
Your gaze snapped to your side, finding Jimin standing right next to you. 
Seriously?
“So you’ve resorted to stalking me now?” You asked, causing Jimin to turn to you with a surprised expression. 
When his gaze fell on you, he grinned. 
“How come I’m the stalker? You could very well be the one stalking me,” he said. 
Before you could reply, the librarian walked back to her desk and handed you and Jimin your printed schedules. The two of you thanked her before walking over to the library’s elevator while looking them over. 
Thankfully, you were scheduled for a study room on Wednesdays during break, so you didn’t have to find somewhere else to study at the moment. 
You eyed Jimin when he followed you into the elevator, watching as he pressed the button to the floor you were also going to. The two of you seemed to be finding yourselves in each other’s presence a lot lately. It made you groan inwardly, knowing that the semester had only just begun.
It was like having a second Jiwoo since you and her were usually thrown together a lot due to your familial ties, but at least Jimin didn’t kick your bag or slap your pencil case to the ground. That earned him at least a few more points in your book.
The book’s name? “The Most Annoying People in Kim Y/N’s Life,” of course.
The elevator door dinged as it revealed the hallway of the second floor. Jimin walked out of it first, unfortunately taking a right into the hallway, which was the same way you were going. 
You followed him reluctantly.
“Who’s following who now, kitten?” He said with a smirk, an eyebrow raised at you. 
You simply huffed, “shut up.”
You didn’t bother to come up with a better comeback. All you had to do was make it to your study room, then you could finally get rid of him. This day had been filled with way too much Jimin, and you were actually looking forward to doing homework in a nice and quiet room over having to deal with his annoying butt. 
Jimin continued through the hallway until he stopped in front of the door to the farthest study room from the elevator. The action made your eyes widen.
“No,” you denied immediately, stomping over to him before grabbing his schedule from his hand, “no way. There’s no way.”
Your mouth fell open as you took in his schedule, almost exactly identical to your own. The only day in which your and Jimin’s schedules didn’t align was Monday. Only one out of the five days of school in a week would you be free of him. No way. There was no way this was possible. Of all the insane things…
While you were distracted, a confused Jimin took your own schedule from your hands, looking over it curiously. It only took him a second to figure out what your issue was, but when he did, he couldn’t help himself. 
Jimin burst into a fit of laughter. 
“Stop laughing, this isn’t funny,” you whined, smacking the paper against his head. That only made him laugh harder as he fell to the floor with a hand clutching his stomach. 
“Guess we’re stuck with each other now,” Jimin managed through his laughter. 
You rolled your eyes, choosing instead to walk past him into the room. Fine, if you were going to be stuck with him, then you were just going to have to ignore his presence completely. It was the only ray of hope in your seemingly continuous misery. 
You dropped into a seat at the large table, spreading your work out as you opened your laptop and began typing furiously against the innocent keys. 
After a few minutes Jimin walked into the room, closing it behind him before he thankfully dropped into a chair away from yours and brought out his own work. You risked a glance upwards, catching a smirk on his lips that made your blood boil. 
Your eyes stayed glued to your screen after that. 
You expected him to annoy you the same way he had during your second period class by stealing your pencils or throwing a paper plane at you, but instead he remained focused on his work for a full half an hour straight. That came as a surprise to you because you honestly hadn’t been expecting him to be very studious. Maybe it was because he had annoyed you during class. Or maybe it was because you had unintentionally believed in the stereotype against guys that slept around. Either way, it was surprising when you managed to get through half an hour worth of work without any disturbances. 
After half an hour, though, Jimin sighed, leaning back in his chair as he stretched his arms behind him. He’d taken off his blazer, so you could see the defined lines of his muscles stretch under his dress shirt. Your straying gaze quickly shot back to your screen, but not before Jimin had noticed your curious eyes. He smirked. 
You were able to work for a few more minutes before Jimin suddenly leaned forward, eyeing you curiously. 
“So,” he said, causing you to turn your head towards him questionably, “how did your dad end up reacting?”
 You furrowed your eyebrows, “what?”
“After the party, when you came home after midnight. I’m surprised he wasn’t already standing on the porch with a shotgun ready.”
You snorted, unable to imagine your dad doing that, “my dad’s not like that.”
“Oh, so he was cool with it and everything?” He asked. 
You shifted in your seat, “no… I mean, I don’t know. He wasn’t home that night.”
Jimin nodded, “business trip?”
“Kind of. He’s a truck driver,” you explained, a little weirded out by the suddenly normal conversation but still appreciating the unexpected break from your work, “he’s usually only home on weekends. Otherwise he’s out driving across the country.”
Jimin’s eyes widened, “so he leaves you alone during the entire week? And sometimes he doesn’t even come back on the weekends?”
You shrugged, finding it odd how surprised Jimin looked, “yeah? I’m not a kid, it’s not that big of a deal.”
Jimin’s gaze dropped to the table in front of him, seemingly deep in thought. But you noticed a slight scowl in his features. 
Weird. 
You shifted to face Jimin, a question coming to mind, “but why are you only asking about my dad?”
Jimin didn’t look up from the table, “I heard what that girl said about your mom last Friday… I just kind of assumed…”
The room quieted into what felt like an awkward silence. You had the feeling that something you said had cut the surprisingly normal conversation short, but there was nothing you said that could have offended him so you didn’t really understand why that was. 
You turned back to your work, brushing against the touchpad to light up your laptop’s screen once again. After sending one final curious glance at Jimin, you went back to your work. 
But Jimin was clearly lost in thought. 
-
-
-
The first thing Jimin noticed when he walked into the room was Lauren, who was sitting on one of the beige sofas situated next to the glass coffee table. She had been looking down at the binder she had shown him in their last session, reading over something intently before the sound of the door opening had her looking upwards and then smiling. 
“Hello Jimin,” she greeted, to which he gave her a curt nod. 
Thankfully, Lauren had already situated herself on the sofa facing away from the door, allowing Jimin to sit on the one that gave him a view of both the entrance and the window at the same time. Even in his sour mood, he was able to appreciate the gesture. 
He knew Lauren was studying him, taking in his sudden attitude, but to his surprise she didn’t call him out on it. Instead, she closed the binder and placed it beside her on the sofa, bringing a much thinner notebook onto her lap in its place.
“Did you complete the Impact Statement worksheet I assigned in the last session?” She asked, to which Jimin nodded. 
He had avoided starting it until the last minute, something he knew Lauren wouldn’t approve of considering she had given him that big speech about avoidance and how it wasn’t helping him. He just couldn’t help it, he’d spent years trying to rid his mind of that night’s memories. Anything that reminded him of it was discarded, any person that reminded him of it was avoided. Even the house had been sold the second it was passed down to him. So doing this Impact Statement? Something that would not only remind him about it, but make him think about it to a deeper extent… it had been hard. 
“Could you read your Impact Statement out loud?”
Jimin’s eyebrows pulled together at the random request, confused as to why that was necessary. He wasn’t in kindergarten anymore, where they would make his class take turns reading various children’s books to each other. 
He shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with the request. But he couldn’t make a fuss about it. He needed to give this therapy thing a genuine try, especially considering the enormous attack he had this morning. 
Jimin brought out the statement from his school bag, unfolding it slowly. He cleared his throat before finally following along the hastily written words. 
“This traumatic experience happened because I was stupid and did something horrible. I knew that my father wasn’t himself, I knew that he was under the influence, and yet I still ended up murdering him, my own father, like some kind of psychopath. Saying that that makes me a horrible person feels like an understatement, because being a killer is one thing, but being able to kill your family? That must make me even worse than a murderer. I feel like I don’t deserve anything good because of it. If anything, the world should bring me my karma and just end it already. I think that sometimes… that because of what I did, someone is just silently watching me and waiting for the right moment to get back at me. I feel like I’m never safe, like I constantly have to be on guard whenever I’m out. I feel like people should think the same about me too, they shouldn’t trust me either. My past is evidence enough that I might just lose it and hurt someone. I would hate to do that to Taehyung especially, the only person that’s genuinely been there for me. But anyways, the gist of it is that I’m not a good person. I make bad decisions. I feel unsafe all the time, especially when I’m around other men. Sometimes when I’m out I can imagine every grown man that looks my way hates me the same way my dad did, and that they’d go after me the first chance they got. I don’t want to get close to people because I feel like if I build any kind of genuine relationship, I’ll end up hurting them. That’s why I don’t think Taehyung should have a friend like me, that he deserves better. I don’t know how to make things better. I don’t think I’ll ever be normal again.”
The room fell quiet as Jimin set the paper down on the coffee table, wanting it away from him immediately. He was relieved that he was finally done with this assignment, though he hadn’t noticed how much he had ended up writing despite the limited amount of time he had to complete the worksheet. 
“What did it feel like to write and then read the Impact Statement aloud?” Lauren asked, an expression of complete neutrality. He couldn’t help but feel grateful that she wasn’t disgusted by him. 
Or at least she wasn’t showing it. 
“It was hard,” Jimin admitted, gaze travelling everywhere but her, “honestly I didn’t start the worksheet until just an hour before I came here.”
Lauren surprisingly nodded, “the good thing is that you completed it nonetheless. It is difficult work, Jimin, and you were able to get through it. That takes a lot of strength.”
“But I should remind you that avoidance only helps in maintaining PTSD symptoms, right?”
Jimin nodded. 
“How do you feel after reading the Impact Statement?” She asked. 
“A little less anxious,” Jimin replied, though it was more the fact that he was relieved it was over than anything else. Whether his improved feelings were because the Impact Statement had actually helped or because of the relief he felt from it being over, there was no doubt that he felt better now compared to the anxiety he had been feeling when walking into this room. 
“If doing the assignment in this way made you a little less anxious, then I wonder what it would have been like to have completed the assignment earlier in the week?” Lauren wondered out loud, but she didn’t dwell on it for long. She was clearly keen on changing the topic. 
“Now, earlier it seemed that you might have been upset about something. Could you explain to me why that was?”
“It’s nothing,” Jimin said, shaking his head as he leaned back against the sofa. But he could feel his blood begin to boil once again, his thoughts from earlier apparently the flame. His anger simmered to the surface and, before he knew it, he was blurting everything out. 
“It’s just… I was talking to this classmate of mine earlier today, just a normal conversation, and she told me something about her dad that kind of pissed me off.”
Lauren tilted her head, “can you tell me what she told you that made you so angry?”
Your words from earlier filled his mind once again, bringing the anger along with them. He had been furious throughout the rest of the school day, and all throughout the ride here, with your words and their implications repeating over and over in his head.
Jimin suddenly stood up and walked over to the window, his anger making him want to move around. 
“The thing is, she’s actually this girl I hooked up with at a party last Friday,” he started to explain, not realising that he had begun pacing around, “I’d ended up taking her home that night because she didn’t really seem like she could get there on her own, so I just casually asked her about how her dad had reacted to her getting home so late. She started telling me about how her dad hadn’t been home that night because he’s a truck driver. In fact, she said that he usually wasn’t home at all throughout the week, and sometimes he didn’t even come back on the weekends that he’s supposed to.”
Jimin spun around towards Lauren, who had shifted so that she was still facing him, “can you believe that? What kind of father would leave their kid alone for weeks at a time? And does he even know what his own daughter has been doing in his absence? She uses, you know. I bet he has no clue.”
“But of course he doesn’t,” Jimin scoffed, “just one of the millions of examples of a grown man being absolutely useless and incompetent as a father.”
He turned to look outside once again, trying to focus on anything that could calm down his racing heart. 
“Do you feel that way about your own father?” He heard Lauren ask from behind him. 
“Obviously. He beat my mom, and then he beat me. That didn’t exactly make him father slash husband of the year. Nothing could justify his actions,” Jimin reasoned. 
“Do you feel that your actions that night also can’t be justified?”
He paused, the question catching him off guard. Slowly, Jimin faced Lauren once again, “well yes, I’m not different from him. If anything I’m worse. He beat people. I murdered him.”
Lauren’s gaze bored into him in an almost unnerving way before she spoke, “‘murder.’ That’s a strong word.”
“It’s appropriate in this context.” 
“From what you’ve told me, it seems like you killed your father after he had begun to hurt your girlfriend-”
“Ex,” Jimin said, his gaze not meeting hers, “ex girlfriend.”
“Ex girlfriend,” Lauren corrected, “your actions occurred in a very specific place and time, and under certain circumstances.”
“Yeah, but he still died. And I’m the one that killed him.”
“Yes, he died, and it seems, at least in part, because of your actions. Does that make you a murderer?”
“Yes,” Jimin answered straight away, not comprehending what was so hard to understand, “I took a bat to his head, and then he died. That’s murder. And that’s worse than anything he had ever done to me.”
“Really? You think it’s worse?” Lauren asked, her voice suddenly quieter. For the first time since these sessions started, Jimin thought he might have caught a little sadness in her expression. But the moment he caught it the expression disappeared, tucked back under that blanket of neutrality that he had become so used to. Distantly, he wondered if he had imagined it or not. 
“On one hand, people were hurt. On the other hand, someone was killed. Obviously both situations aren’t good since people were hurt either way. But I killed him, he didn’t kill anyone.”
“It is true that the outcomes are different,” Lauren agreed, “but it’s the context that I wonder about.”
Jimin’s brows furrowed, “what do you mean?”
“Do you think what the intention was in those situations matters, regardless of the outcome?”
“No,” Jimin replied firmly, pulling back on the frustration in his tone,“in one case someone was killed. In another, no one was killed.”
Lauren paused for a moment, seemingly studying him with her characteristically neutral expression. When nothing was said for a few seconds, she clasped her fingers together before resting them over her lap professionally, “while it is true that your father died, and that your actions played a role in it, I think we might slightly disagree on the definition of the term ‘murder.’ It is apparent that his death has been a very difficult thing for you to accept, and that you are trying to make sense of that. From what you’ve told me, the sense that you appear to have made of his death is that you are a ‘murderer.’ I believe this is a good example of one of the stuck points that seem to have prevented you from recovering from this traumatic event. We’ll definitely be spending more time together on understanding your part in his death.”
Lauren then began to explain something about how important it was to be able to identify and label his emotions and thoughts, but Jimin’s thoughts were too stuck on her earlier words to pay any attention. He wondered about how intentions might or might not matter in the context of whether a death is considered a murder or not. When a person participates in an action that ends up with another person dead, he was pretty sure that classified the situation as a murder. He couldn’t really understand where the nuances existed in a situation like this. 
But then again, Lauren’s suggestion hadn’t been too crazy of a thought either. If a person didn’t intend to kill the other, then would it still be considered a murder?
Had he intended to kill his father that night? Jimin wanted to say no and deny such a thing, because he really hadn’t wanted to do that. But he had taken a wooden baseball bat straight to his father’s skull, what other outcome had Jimin been expecting? Maybe intention did matter in general, but in Jimin’s case he concluded it made no difference. 
“How do you feel about the death of your father?” Lauren asked randomly, catching Jimin’s straying attention. He had no clue what the context behind the question was since his thoughts had been elsewhere while she had been explaining it, which had caught him off guard.
“Um,” Jimin paused, having to think about it for a moment, “I know he did horrible things to me, like I’m aware his actions were wrong, but… a part of me felt a little saddened by his death. Maybe not because of losing him as a person, but losing him meant that I had lost the last of my family. It does make me feel sad when I think about it.”
Lauren nodded encouragingly, “and that is a completely natural reaction to have when you feel that you’ve lost something. It’s good to feel that sadness and let it run its course.”
Jimin let a breathy chuckle escape his lips, though there was no humour behind it, “feeling sad isn’t exactly something I enjoy- actually I prefer to avoid feeling anything at all. It’s just easier that way.”
Lauren crossed her leg over the other, continuing to focus on Jimin as she brought her clasped hand over her lap once again, “have you ever allowed yourself to feel sad?”
He shook his head, explaining that he’s always preferred avoiding anything and everything that had to do with intense feelings like that. Even the frustration he had shown earlier was a generally rare occurrence. 
“Then if you’ve never allowed yourself to feel your emotions, how do you know that it would be easier not to feel them?”
Jimin was silent, processing the logic behind her words once again. He was starting to realise that therapy was a lot more logical than what he had initially thought.
“From what you’ve told me, avoiding your feelings hasn’t helped you very much so far. Maybe allowing yourself to feel the natural feelings associated with the traumatic event may help you recover from what happened?”
“Maybe…” He relented, knowing that her reasoning made sense to him. 
But Jimin still couldn’t help but feel anxious at the thought of feeling his emotions. He didn’t even know if he’d ever truly felt them before. With a father that had been beating him for as long as he could remember, it really had just become easier to numb himself to the pain. He was scared of revisiting that pain, he realised. The pain that he’d been trying to run away from his whole life.
Lauren opened her binder to bring out a few sheets that were similar to the Impact Statement worksheet she had given him in their last session, except they clearly had a different purpose. She called them “A-B-C” Sheets, which again reminded Jimin of kindergarten, and explained how to go about completing them properly. She also explained how they were meant to help him begin to identify the things he was telling himself and his subsequent emotions before they had exchanged pleasantries and Jimin had walked out of the room.
Unlike the last session, where he had rushed through the door at light speed, Jimin took his time walking through the hallways and out of the building. This time his mind was filled with questions of murder and intention. He thought about feeling his feelings, and how long it had been since he had lost the ability to do so. He thought about you and your dad. He thought about everything.  
There was just so much to think about. 
So much to think about indeed.  
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clumsy-jiminie · 27 days
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ɪɴᴇᴠɪᴛᴀʙʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ | ᴘᴊᴍ | ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜰᴏᴜʀ
❝ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀ ʜᴏᴏᴅɪᴇ ❞
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↣ summary :: Kiara Smith had dreamed of true love for as long as she could remember. from being obsessed with the Disney princesses who found affection in the strangest situations to dressing up as a bride from kindergarten to fourth grade. it was the only thing she ever truly desired, so much so that a pleasant smile and kind eyes could have her smitten in seconds. right when she thought she found the one, a chance encounter with Park Jimin—the city’s famously perfect fuck boy with a smile so warm and a heart of ice—has her feeling quite the opposite. he knocks her off her axis and derails her life as she knows it, yet the universe seems to have another plan for the two.
↣ rating :: 18+
↣ genre :: fluff, angst, smut, e2l, slow burn
↣ pairing :: business owner!jimin x fem!artist!oc ft. taehyung
↣ word count :: 4.7k
↣ chapter warnings :: mature language, angst without resolve, smut - marking, unprotected sex, creampie
↣ notes :: pretty pretty please don't let anyone treat you like this 🥺 small argument or not, there are healthy ways to communicate this type of insecurity 🫶🏽
↣ next :: previous :: series m.list ↢
if you have any questions, comments, or concerns PLEASE don't hesitate to message me or send me an ask! my inbox is always open. 💖
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"I can see that look in your eyes, the one that shoots me every time you grace me with your cold shoulder."
- ᴄᴏʟᴅ ꜱʜᴏᴜʟᴅᴇʀ, ᴀᴅᴇʟᴇ -
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Kiara stuffed her hands in her oversized hoodie pocket as her feet led her through the hustle and bustle of the city streets. The weather was getting more tolerable as they approached a new month in the year. But then again, you could have a full snowstorm in New York in the spring. She kept her outfit light today, as light as she could go without freezing: A hoodie, a pair of leggings, and a spring jacket. The sneakers on her feet were old—dirt and stains in the crevices while the laces started wearing out. Kehlani blasted through her headphones as she weaved through people. She missed the city dearly. There was something about the feeling here that was addictive. Everyone had somewhere to be—whether it was to a job that they hated or a job that they loved, to see a family member, to sell a hat, to shop until they created a debt, or to see something incredible. Everyone had a story, no matter how big or small.
Kiara's story led her to a quaint coffee shop. Tiny and modern, it is a perfect puzzle piece in the large-scale picture of Manhattan—the smell of dark beans roasting mixed with the semi-sweet scents of freshly baked pastries. Exposed brick and pipes gave the place an industrial feel, partnered with the greenery hanging from the walls. Furniture with dark wood and black metal legs contrasted with the grey concrete flooring.
Despite it now being a crowded place where teens and adults alike could get their daily fix of the dark liquid, she knew this place from its humble beginnings. Mr. Choi brewed a mean cup of Joe, and she would sip it during the early morning rush before class in college. She and her best friends practically lived in this shop during school. They were always the first to arrive and the last to leave. Mr. Choi almost adopted them, considering how often they were there. Jeongguk even got a job here at some point, figuring if he was going to spend all his time here, he might as well get paid for it.
They still gather here occasionally, especially on days like today. When Kiara arrived at the door, she pushed it open. A crowd greeted her upon entering. Most had drinks in their hands already but were struggling to find a seat in this small coffee shop. Kiara squeezed through the people until she arrived at her usual table. A seat by the window had her name engraved on it, and she slid into it with ease. She finally pulled off her headphones, greeting the midnight-haired girl across from her.
Samira glanced up from her tablet, her lips forming a wide smile as she chewed her gum. "Sup Ki."
"Not much. You doing wedding work?" She asked as she watched Samira write on the device while looking at information on her phone.
She nodded. "I gotta get these bouquet choices to Momo later today. I also gotta show her these swatches of blue." She tapped on her tablet several times before lifting it to show the woman.
Kiara stared at the four squares on the screen. Each blue was the same hue, but the tints, shades, and undertones varied. Her lips pursed as she examined the options. "I, personally, like the first one," she said as she leaned back. "It's soft and kinda reminds me of winter. Like how the sky looks on a clear day."
Samira turned the device back to her, staring at the color while she nodded. "See, this is why it's always great to have an artist as a friend." Kiara rolled her eyes while Samira chuckled. "Speaking of, anything happening with that? Are you close to buying that house like the sugar mama you are?"
Kiara's jaw dropped before she lifted her leg to kick the girl under the table. Samira laughed loudly. "I'm not a sugar mama!"
"Is he helping you pay?"
"…No."
"Then you're a sugar mama." Samira was always so blunt, and that's why Kiara loved her. It wasn't always jokes, but she would always call the girl out when she was being dramatic or wrong.
"Anyway!" Kiara exclaimed. "I had a client dinner last night."
”Ooh, tea time." Samira locked her table and phone, giving the other her full attention. "Was he hot? Was he single? You had a little fun last night?" She asked as she wiggled her eyebrows. She leaned in, resting her elbows on the table while holding her face in her hands.
Kiara's face suddenly grew hot, and she reached up to involuntarily cover her neck with her hand. She had forgotten about the hickey Taehyung had left on her for a split second, hoping the hoodie would've covered it for her. "No!" She said quickly, hoping Samira didn't notice the red staining her cheeks. But she did, causing a smirk on her friend's lips. "He was that same asshat from the gallery."
"Oh." Her smirk quickly faded. She scrunched up her nose with disgust as her shoulders dropped.
"And turns out he wasn't just having a bad day. He was actually just a dick. He called me a coward, then selfish! All because I would rather separate my painter life from my regular life." Kiara pouted at the end of her sentence, leaning back into her chair. It was still a fresh wound, making her rethink every choice she had made thus far.
Samira scoffed. "He obviously doesn't know you. In fact, if you ever see him on the streets, let me know. I'll beat his ass."
Kiara's eyes widened as she quietly chuckled. "What is with you and Kookie being so violent?"
"Don't act like you're not the same. Just because you're in a little relationship that has you acting all prim and proper doesn't mean I don't know the real Kiara and how she used to beat ass because someone looked at me funny."
Kiara rolled her eyes. "I was younger back then and clearly had uncontrolled anger."
"Yeah, sure," Samira smiled while shaking her head. "Speaking of JK, when is he going up?"
Kiara shrugged as she grabbed her phone, looking at the time. "You know he never gives a time for these things." Suddenly, the coffee shop roared with cheers, grabbing the girl's attention. They looked towards a small stage along the shop's farthest wall. "Speak of the devil," she smirked as the tall man approached the stage. He wore a black T-shirt with a pair of dark denim jeans. There was a silver chain that hung from his belt loops. Sitting down at the piano on the stage, he tugged a stray strand of his midnight hair behind his ear. A microphone was attached to the instrument, angled perfectly so the person could speak.
"Hello, ladies and gentlemen," his smooth voice entered the mic and echoed through the establishment. Samira and Kiara locked eyes before covering their mouths to hide the giggles that quietly escaped. "This song is called 17, and I hope you enjoy it."
His fingers began to press on the white and black keys, combining the notes until they formed a beautiful melody.
"I would need a million words if I tried to define all the things you mean to me…." 
His voice was like laying on a cloud — soft and fluffy, wrapping around you like a warm embrace. Everyone in the store was mesmerized; even those who came in solely for a beverage stopped to listen for a few moments. They always left with a broad smile after. Jeongguk's voice has affected people ever since he was little. Kiara couldn't help but smile as she watched her best friend do what he loved. He shut his eyes as he sang, tuning out everything around him until nothing was left but notes. Kiara felt like a mother watching her child's first performance. 
She knew everyone in that room fell in love based on their reaction when Jeongguk sang his last note. It was overwhelmingly positive. The audience overfilled the tip jar near the bottom of the stage with bills and coins. Jeongguk stood up with a smile so wide on his lips that his eyes crinkled, smiling along with him. He bowed as the crowd cheered for him, leaning down to grab the tip jar before walking off the stage. Women who were bold enough stopped and flirted with him as he passed through the crowd. All Jeongguk did was laugh it off and politely turn them down, leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him. He reached his usual table, dropping the jar onto the table with an obnoxious thud. He made the same sound as he dropped down in the seat next to Kiara, letting out a dramatic sigh.
The girls exchanged a look before watching as his eyes closed, breathing heavily. "God, it's so hard being wanted." The two burst into laughter as he grinned, opening his eyes to look at them. "So? What did you guys think?"
"Not my favorite song," Samira said with a smirk.
"It's a good thing I don't value your opinion," Jeongguk quipped before sticking his tongue out, causing her to mirror his reaction. After a moment, he turned his head to Kiara, waiting for her answer.
"You know I loved it Kookie." She smiled at him, making his heart skip a beat as heat rushed to his ears. She chuckled as she poked at his reddening skin with her finger, making his body scrunch up like a snail recoiling into their shell. "How long did it take to write this one?"
"Only a few weeks this time," he answered with a smile. His silver lip rings glimmered as he spoke.
Kiara's smile was still etched on her lips, leaning over to the man. The scent of fresh laundry with the faintest hint of cologne entered her nostrils as she cupped his jaw in her hand. She squeezed Jeongguk's cheeks until his pink lips puffed out, shaking his head from side to side a little. "Look at him, Sammie! Our little bunny boy is growing up so fast!" Jeongguk chuckled, trying to pull her hand away, but her grip was tight.
Samira grinned, reaching her hand out to join in the fun of playing with Jeongguk's face. Her hand replaced Kiara's as she pouted out her lips. "I know! We did such a good job raising our little bunny boy." She teased in a baby voice.
Jeongguk rolled his eyes, pulling Samira's hand away from his face. "You know we're the same age, right?!"
The two girls glanced at each other before looking at the man. "And?" Kiara asked.
"Your point?" Samira added.
Jeongguk stared at them, shaking his head as he smiled. "You guys kill me." He reached into his tip jar, pulling out various bill amounts. "Y'all what something? It's on me."
The girls enthusiastically agreed before Jeongguk handed Kiara some money. She got their orders before standing up and walking towards the counter. She squeezed through the shoulders of random customers. Most waited for their drink orders, while others stayed for the atmosphere. Kiara hated crowded places like this. People had no respect for personal space or sense of how much space they took up. And because it's an establishment, she couldn't necessarily mow through people like she could on the streets. The crowd was less tight when she finally got closer to the counter. She sighed deeply, taking a single step before someone bumped right into her. She quickly felt something warm spreading from her chest to her abdomen, glancing down to see coffee all over her cream hoodie.
”What the fuck?!" She shrieked without taking a second to remember where she was. She reached for the napkins on the counter, frantically patting at her chest and torso.
"Oh my god, I'm so—" His eyes then met with the familiar golden skin Kiara possessed. He couldn't help the playful smirk that formed on his lips. "Well, doesn't karma have a funny way of working?" Jimin said, his words laced with smugness.
Kiara glared up at the blonde, huffing as she accepted defeat. Her hoodie was forever stained. "Eat ass, Park." His eyelids lowered at the girl. Why did his last name sound so unique, leaving her mouth wrapped in that annoyed tone? Maybe it was how she formed the noun—the light reflecting off lovely glossed lips as they parted to allow the syllable to roll off her tongue. It was intoxicating to watch. "You owe me a new shirt!"
His brows drew together as he tilted his head to the side. "Oh? If that's the case, I should send you my dry cleaning bill from last night."
"Fuck you, that was water!" She snapped at him. "And this is coffee! I'm never gonna get this out!"
His face remained unchanged despite receiving daggers from the girl. The most he did was shrug, causing her jaw to drop. "It wasn't that cute of a hoodie."
"What do you know about cute hoodies?!" She sounded a bit like a child, making the man chuckle softly.
"Enough to know yours isn't."
Kiara's eye twitched before she covered her face with her hands. She dragged them down her face, pulling gently at the skin as it relieved some of the building stress. She wanted to punch him in his nose. Or his mouth. Or anywhere on his body, in that case. He was such an asshole. The least he could've said was sorry. Maybe even offer to buy her a new hoodie. But no, even in moments where he was wrong, he still was an asshole through and through. "You are such a—"
"Woah, what the fuck happened?" She recognized Jeongguk's voice almost instantly. He stood beside her, staring at the massive stain on her shirt. Jimin eyed the new man, practically sizing him up despite the man being taller.
She inhaled deeply before sighing. "Nothing, nothing," she said as she shook her head. She wrapped her fingers around the man's tattooed bicep as she looked up at him. Eyes so big and round. Love, the blonde thought as he watched their interaction intently. How come she never looked at Jimin like that? But why did he want her to look at him like that? "Do you have a spare hoodie?"
The man looked down at her with the softest eyes, like she was the only person in the world to him. Jimin's brows furrowed again as he watched the warm smile form on Jeongguk's lips. "Yeah, of course."
She didn't need to say thank you; her eyes said more than enough. She then glanced towards Jimin, and for the second time, he witnessed that fondness instantly dissipating. Kiara's amber eyes were set ablaze once again. "Fuck you," she spat before Jeongguk led her away. They disappeared behind some door with a sign that read employees only. Jimin felt the same heavy feeling from before, sitting uncomfortably in his stomach. He didn't know why he wanted her to look at him with fondness so severely. She was annoying, a coward, a complete headache, and nowhere near his type. He chewed on his lower lip for a moment before rejoining the line.
"He's such a fucking jerk!" Kiara groaned as she followed behind Jeongguk to the break room area. "Who the fuck spills coffee on someone and doesn't even apologize?!"
He stopped in front of his locker and opened it, grabbing one of the two hoodies that were inside. When working at a cafe with clumsy newbies, spare clothing is more of a necessity than a suggestion. "Who the fuck was he?" He asked as he tossed her the hoodie, and she caught it.
"The same dickhead from last night," she grumbled. She pulled her hoodie over her head, leaving her standing in just a red bra with an intricate white lace pattern. Jeongguk's eyes widened briefly before quickly looking up at the ceiling. Heat flooded his ears and over his face, as he tried to forget the image he just saw. "Like, first of all, what are the odds?" Kiara continued to rant casually as if she wasn't half naked. She pulled Jeongguk's black clothing over her head, slipping into the three times too big fabric. "Second of all, he's lucky I didn't fucking deck him."
Jeongguk's eyes finally returned to the girl once she was clothed again. "Wait, what? The guy from last night?"
Kiara nodded as she picked up her dirty hoodie. When she looked towards Jeongguk, he was suddenly gone. Her eyes grew wide as she ran after him. "Kookie!" She yelled as he walked through the door. She returned to the central part of the cafe, seeing Jeongguk glance around with his brows furrowed. She grabbed him, but that didn't stop him from scanning the room. "You're on the clock!" She whispered.
All Jeongguk did was suck his teeth. "Man's lucky I like my job," he continued to look regardless, "and I can't find him."
Kiara rolled her eyes before patting his chest, "You need therapy."
"You need therapy," Jeongguk taunted quietly as Kiara joined the line again.
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Kiara said goodbye to Jeongguk, watching him pull off on his motorcycle before walking inside her house. She sighed heavily upon entering, her energy drained from today's activities. After the coffee shop debacle, the three decided to hang out at Samira's house like old times. Little did Jeongguk and Kiara know that agreeing to hang out meant helping her with wedding planning. The woman was so passionate and dedicated to her job that it was something to admire, but only from afar. Her apartment was a wreck, littered with pictures and business cards. Kiara knew Samira's seriousness about her job, but since agreeing to be Momo's wedding planner, she has gone off her rocker. She ate, slept, breathed wedding details, and dragged the other two into it.
As she kicked off her sneakers, she could hear jazz music blasting from the kitchen. "Babe?" She called out as her feet led her amongst the familiar path.
Soon, Taehyung popped his head into the kitchen archway, causing a smile on Kiara's lips. "Darling! When did you get home? I'm just about done with dinner." His boxy grin made her heart skip a beat. She soon joined him in the kitchen while he resumed cooking. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she pressed her face into his back. She took a deep breath, inhaling his scent mixed with fresh laundry. Taehyung chuckled softly, "Long day?" Kiara nodded, moving along with him as he acted like she wasn't currently attached to him. "Wanna talk about it over dinner?" She nodded again, releasing him once he picked up the plates. 
They sat at their small dining room table, peacefully munching their food. Kiara looked up at Taehyung, who focused on his plate. That same warmth swamped her system. She felt so happy with him. She loved this small house they called home. She loved coming home after a long day to see his smiling face. She loved how comfortable she was with him. She glanced down at her left hand, eying her bare ring finger. If only this were enough for him.
"So?" Taehyung started with a mouth full of food. She filled him in on the events of last night and how they bled into today. Taehyung's features remained blank until the end, where he raised his eyebrows and shrugged a little. "I honestly wouldn't put that past him. He's a little snobby."
"There's a difference between being a little snobby and a complete dick. Like, do you think I'm selfish?" She asked as she placed her fork down.
He shrugged again. "You have your moments, but I don't think it's like what he's saying."
"Exactly! Everyone is a little selfish; it's just human. But he's making it seem like I wanna keep everything to myself on purpose." She folded her arms over her chest as she leaned into her chair.
Taehyung glanced at her, raising an eyebrow slightly. "Is that a new hoodie?" He stared at the dark fabric covering her body with a red skull and crossbones decal in the center.
"No, it's JK's. He gave it to me after Jimin practically dumped his coffee on me."
"JK's?" He repeated to himself, almost scoffing as he nodded his head.
Kiara watched his reaction closely—how his body suddenly tense up and the corner of his lips pushed downward. She rolled her eyes before shutting them as she leaned her head back into the chair. "Don't start."
"Don't start what?" He chuckled, absent of any joy. "I just find it funny that you come home in his hoodie. He drop you off too?"
"Yes, he did. And it's just a hoodie, Tae. I didn't want to walk around with a huge coffee stain on me, especially in public."
"Samira didn't have anything?"
"No?" She snapped a little, raising her head and opening her eyes to look at him. Taehyung's eyes narrowed at her. "Why would Samira carry around extra clothing?"
"But he did? Or did he peel his own shirt off to give to you?" He laughed, running his hands through his slightly curled locks. "Shit like this always seems to conveniently happen to you. You come home with a piece of JK on you; whether it's his clothing or his smell, you were wearing his boxer briefs once!"
"Oh my god," Kiara mumbled while pressing her fingers to her temple.
"What was that?" Taehyung suddenly raised his voice. Her eyes met his, and just as she opened her mouth to respond, he lifted his hand. He used the gesture to silence her, and it did just that. The words died on her tongue, abandoned sounds running around in her head. "You know, this is getting ridiculous. If I had a girl best friend doing all of this with me, you would've flipped your shit a long time ago."
"Taehyung," she tried her hardest to remain calm. It would've been over if she raised her voice or said something with a hint of sarcasm. "I have been friends with this man for years now. There is absolutely nothing between us."
He scoffed loudly, "That's a likely story." He stood up from the table and walked over to the living room. Kiara sighed as she got up, following after him. She noticed he grabbed his leather jacket and a white baseball cap. He put the hat on to hide his midnight hair.
"Where are you going?" She asked, but there was no response. She rolled her eyes. "Taehyung," she reached out to grab his hand, but he quickly pulled away. He glared at her over his shoulder, making her step back. 
She hated it when he looked at her like that. Like she was something vile, it made every insecurity she had crawl out of the depths of her brain and take center stage. Taehyung slid on some shoes, grabbed his keys, and walked out the front door, slamming it behind him. Her body jumped at the noise, tears stinging her eyes as she watched him pull out of the driveway from her window.
"Fuck," she sighed softly, turning to the table to grab her phone. She frantically clicked on Taehyung's contact, which was sent to voicemail each time. The tears filled to the brim before rolling down her cheeks silently. She used the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe away the waterworks, the hoodie that caused this whole mess. She never understood why he got like this and flipped a switch with ease. It was always over the tiniest things, too. She sat on the couch, chewing on her nails as she repeatedly called the man.
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Taehyung was gone for hours, and by the time he returned home, he found Kiara passed out on the couch. She had replaced Jeongguk's black hoodie with one of Taehyung's grey ones instead. He carefully removed his jacket and shoes before walking to the sleeping girl and sitting in front of her. He gently wiped away her smudged mascara, causing her to scrunch her nose as she started to awake. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then her nose, and then her cheek. He gently persuaded her to wake up, her tired eyes finally fluttering open to meet his. There weren't any words exchanged between the two before he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. The kiss was timid and soft. She followed his lead until she couldn't help but yearn for more of him.
The kiss guided Taehyung onto his knees, then to the couch with Kiara, where he found a place between her legs. Her hands ran up his arms, feeling his muscles subtly flexed underneath her touch. Within time, the kiss between the two grew heavier, his tongue gently appearing by grazing past her lip. She parted them just enough to let him in, their tongues gliding past each other as he pressed his hips into hers. Her hand traveled up to his head, where she swiftly pulled the cap off and tossed it to the ground. She ran her fingers through his soft hair, causing a soft moan to escape from his lips to hers.
He broke the kiss as his hand caressed her thigh. His lips found her neck, placing various kisses against her skin until her chest arched into his. And that's where he stayed, adding another bruise to her golden skin where the first one had barely healed. She moaned out for him, pressing her hips into his as she silently begged for more. He stuck his hand between their bodies, slipping his fingers underneath the fabric of her underwear. His middle finger found her clitoris with ease, gently circling it with the pad of his finger. Kiara tensed from his touch and then released. A chorus of moans parted from her throat as she tried to match the circling of her hips to his finger. 
After being satisfied with the bruise on her neck, he crashed his lips into hers again. Her hips bucked against his finger, making his cock throb in his sweatpants. He couldn't wait much longer, breaking the kiss once again. He pulled his hand out of her panties before swiftly sliding them down her legs. He didn't bother with taking his pants off, only pulling them down enough for his member to spring free. He aligned himself with her entrance, sliding his tip in between her lips to lube himself up before pushing forward. She sucked in through her teeth, her brows furrowing as she tried to get accommodated to his length. It stung a little, but Taehyung continued, slowly pulling his hips back and then forward again. As soon as Kiara's face relaxed, he increased his pace.
Her eyes shut as she moaned out for him, gripping his arm tightly as he stretched out her walls. He worked her into the couch, skin slapping together as he fell into a rhythm. He leaned forward, resting his temple against hers as he panted and groaned into her ear. She whined, her hands traveling to his back where nails dug into his skin through the fabric. The power of his hips increased, his tip pressing into her cervix until he suddenly bottomed out and stopped. She could feel him throbbing before he pulled out of her. There was a cool breeze on her lower region as he got up, pulling his pants back onto his waist. He sat down beside her, panting as he used the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow. She felt uncomfortably wet, scared to move in fear of pushing Taehyung's seed out and onto the fabric of the couch.
"I'm going to bed," he said before getting up. He walked towards the bedroom before disappearing from her line of sight.
Kiara's eyes were wide with shock, and she scoffed quietly as she carefully pushed herself off the couch. She grabbed her underwear off the floor and shuffled to the bathroom, where she cleaned herself up. She couldn't understand how, even after that, he could still be cold to her. What was the point if he was still upset? After her shower, she walked into the room and crawled into the space next to him, feeling more alone than before.
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7ndipity · 6 months
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Fae Jimin AU Headcanons
Fae!Jimin x Reader
Summary: Catching you before you fall away, he decides that you could help him with his work as an overviewer of the Sidh, helping make sure that the balance between worlds stays even, falling for your humanity as he tries to show the wonder in your own world.
Warnings: Swearing, lil angst, supernatural elements, only partially proofread
A/N: This is an idea I’ve been obsessed with for a while(cause I’m a folklore nerd), but could never figure out an overarching plot to make it into a series, so I present for your consideration: Jimin, the emotional support Fae roommate lol.
(reminder that if there’s any points you want to be made into further HCs, blurbs, etc, send me an ask!)
Masterlist Non-Linear m.list
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
How you met:
He stopped you from falling into a fairy ring in the woods. You’d happened across it while on a walk to clear your head while upset about something and ending up standing there studying it for several minutes, contemplating how nice it must be to just be able to fall into a different world where no one knew you and you could start over. Shaking out of your revere, you had turned to leave, only for your damn ankle to twist and send you off balance.
“Careful!” A pair of gentle hands came out of nowhere, grabbing your wrists and pulling you into him. You looked up and were met with his soft eyes on you.
“You should be careful.” He warned. “You know what they say if you step in those, you might end up in the fairy realm and not get to come back.” “What if that’s what I want?” You replied. He looked back at you, suddenly serious. “You don’t want that, trust me.”
After that, you keep running into him everywhere(partially due to his newfound fascination with you), eventually figuring out what he is.
He explains that he’s a type of Fae called the Sidh(pronounced shee) which are basically a type of overviewer of the Fae, their role being to keep balance and make sure that the others don’t cause too much trouble.
“There’s a lot of different doorways to and from this world, and not all of them are nice.” He explains to you, visibly tense. “Sometimes just going through the wrong door can kill you.”
Teaches you how to spot Fae.
Points out a couple walking along on the other side of the road. “See them?” He asked, leaning close as he whispers to you.
“One of them is a Sidh?”
He shakes his head, motioning to the child you hadn’t noticed trailing behind them, bouncing about, overly hyper.
“The kid?!” You exclaim, turning to him, suddenly realizing how close he was to you.
“Wait.” He leaned in, gently placing his hands over your eyes for a moment, a tingling sensation washing over your skin before pulling away. “Now look.”
You blinked, slightly dazed before you turned back, letting out a gasp as your eyes found the family again.
While the couple were the same, the child’s appearance had shifted drastically; limbs slightly too long and thin, large, glassy black eyes, their skin now a pale, almost grayish color, they almost looked like an alien.
“What the-?”
“A changeling.” He said lowly.
Teaches you about some of his magic, but warns that some of it can have ‘adverse’ effects on humans
“Wait! What about my eyes then?!” You asked suddenly.
He looked back at you slyly. “Don’t worry, it’s only temporary, this time. It should wear off in a few hours.”
He turned to walk away. “See you at home!”
Winds up just moving in with you in your little house on the edge of town that runs along the woods at the back.
“You’re a Witch!” He realized loudly as he surveyed your house, taking in the crystals and new-age items littered around(he’s not exactly right about this, but you’ll explain that to him later). You can’t tell if he’s excited or upset by this discovery at first.
(it’s both because, as he explains, his ‘charms’ don’t work as well on other magical beings, hence the constant bickering between the two of you. The fact that he can’t just ‘make’ you agree with him irritates him to no end)
Ends up revealing(probably during a fight) that he might be stuck in this world.
“I can’t go back!” “Can’t or won’t?!” “Both!” He yells. “I don’t know if I can, and if I could, I don’t want to! I like it here, with you.” His voice falters, shaking with emotions. “I want to stay with you.”
About him:
His eyes change color; sometimes they’re gray, sometimes blue, one time you could’ve sworn they were purple, but most of the time, they’re a varying shade of brown.
Fangs(you’d be surprised how often fae have them in old stories): His are small and rather feline looking, but he only shows them if he’s really angry or frightened.
Age: Not entirely sure. He says he’s been around awhile, but time moves differently for them. They still age similar to humans, just slower. They might live for longer too, but you can’t tell if he was joking or not about that one.
The biggest sweet tooth, holy shit. You once caught him in the middle of the night eating nothing but pure sugar with a spoon, he literally can’t get enough of the stuff.
The first time you gave him cotton candy, his eyes got so big, you’re pretty sure he ascended to another plane.
As well as a sweet tooth, he loves alcohol and has a very high tolerance. He can get drunk, but it takes A LOT.
Surprisingly good at lying for a Fae.
He? Perches? Everywhere?
Like, he can’t just sit on the couch? Nope, he’s on your desk, the kitchen table, the bathroom counter. It’s like living with a giant cat.
Which reminds me, he has ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF PERSONAL SPACE.
You’re trying to cook? He’s there. Going to bed? He’s there. Open the curtain to get out of the shower and yep, he’s there, just chilling.
Literally the “Hey, I was- why are you screaming? Anyway, are we out of oreos?” meme.
Walks super close to you, intentionally bumping your shoulders.(can’t tell if this is him being affectionate or annoying)
Very noseyinquisitive. Goes through all your shit, asking questions and throwing judgy looks at you, but for the oddest, most random things, like the color of your toothbrush.
Trying to explain ‘human things’ to him and how people normally act and behave. “But you’re not like that?” He commented curiously, watching you. “That’s because I’m… weird.” You said, without looking up. “I like weird.” He mumbles.
Some nights when it’s quiet, you find him out in the back garden, just sitting, sometimes with his eyes closed, almost as if he’s meditating, other times just staring off into the trees. You’ve wondered about what he’s thinking of when he’s out there, but he doesn’t tell you much.
The first time you got sick with him there, he was an absolute wreck, hardly leaving your side for more than a moment, even watching over you when you slept. Did everything he could think of to make you feel better, even considered magic, but you shut that one quick, so he just suffices with loads of tea and soup.
Likes to believe he can be somewhat intimidating or scary, but to you he's a literal ball of marshmallow fluff.
“You think I can’t be scary?” He asked in a low voice, looming over you with a dark glint in his eyes.
“Nope.” You boop him on the nose, making him pout.
“You didn’t even let me try!” He whined loudly.
“There’s no point, you don’t scare me!” You laughed.
“I should though! I am an ominous, fearsome creature from the otherworld!” He proclaimed dramatically, making you laugh harder. “I will drain your lifeforce for my own power!”
“That’s for vampires!” You giggled.
“Vampires are a type of Sidh.”
“Wait really?!” You perked up in interest, making him roll his eyes and walk away. “Are they really? Jimin?!”
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elya7sstuff · 3 days
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✦͙͙͙*͙*𝕮𝖆𝖊𝖑𝖚𝖒 | 𝟎𝟏⁎∗❥⃝**͙✦͙͙͙
❖ ── ✦ ──『𝙲𝚊𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚖 {𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚗} = 𝚂𝚔𝚢』── ✦ ── ❖
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↬𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢 | 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙, 𝙹𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑
↬𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 | 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙹𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚡 𝚏!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 (𝚏𝚝. 𝚔𝚒𝚖 𝚜𝚎𝚘𝚔𝚓𝚒𝚗 𝚡 𝚏!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛, 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚓𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚡 𝚏! 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)
↬𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 | 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜, idiots to lovers, 𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚜𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚗, 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎 𝚊𝚞,indecisive reader, mentions of (and/or) cheating, mentions and/or use of substances (alcohol/drugs)
↬𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 | 🔞 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝!
↬𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 | 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎
↬𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 | 3.5𝚔+
❖ ── ✦ ── ◈ • • • ❀ ❖ ❀ • • • ◈ ── ✦ ── ❖
"Park Jimin, do you take this woman to be your wife, to live together in holy matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
"And do you L/N Y/N take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
"Repeat after me Park Jimin: I, Park Jimin, take you L/N Y/N, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us apart."
"I, Park Jimin, take you L/N Y/N, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us apart."
"Now, repeat after me L/N Y/N: I, L/N Y/N, take you Park Jimin, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us apart."
"I, L/N Y/N, take you Park Jimin, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us apart."
The priest then asked Jimin to place the ring on Y/N's finger and then Y/N to place the ring on Jimin's finger and repeat after him in turns.
"I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love."
Y/N sniffed slightly as she started getting emotional due to finally marrying the man of her dreams. But she tried to pull herself together as she saw her beloved flash her an angelic smile, giving her strength and showing her his unconditional love. A smile full of promises for what would follow this beautiful reception.
"Now, by the virtue of the authority vested in me under the laws of the state and our Holy Father, I now pronounce you husband and wife."
They stared at each other, eagerly waiting for the priests next few words that would once and for all seal their wedding and bind them in love together and for the rest of their lives.
"You may now kiss the bride."
And then she felt his soft plump lips kiss hers in the sweetest way possible. It was like they had been quenched for each other's warmth and this simple yet oh so complicated kiss was finally conveying all of their mutual feelings, terminating their fears and inhibitions once and for all, thus interconnecting their fragile hearts-
-Beep beep beep-
"Huh? What's that noise?" A loud ringing made her pull back from his welcoming arms and lips, a sense of emptiness now consuming her.
-Beep beep beep-
She looked around to find the source of the annoyingly persistent sound before she felt herself drifting away from the man she adored, a white light now beaming from behind her as she slowly slipped farther and farther away-
-BEEP BEEP BEEP-
"Y/N get your ass up this instant! You're gonna be late for class! Y/N!!"
I instantly shoot my eyes open and get up so fast I almost fell out of bed and hit my head on the bedpost in the process.
"Ugh- fuck my life."
I groan loudly and curse under my breath at the most horrible way to get up. My eyes flicker a few times during the painful endeavor of my sleepy mind to process and analyze what I was experiencing in my sleep. I blink and then gasp in utter shock.
What the actual fuck? Nah, nah, nah. I'm tripping.
As sleep now leaves my body, I rub my eyes to welcome the piercing morning sun that peeks through the half opened blinds in my room. Courtesy of my mother I suppose since she has the habit of sneaking in early in the morning to make sure the sun wakes me up for good.
While blinking again I once more try to process the dream that, in contrast to the state I was while I was experiencing it, has me now panicking. Did I seriously just dream about Jimin and I getting married? What the hell? Jimin is my best friend. It seems highly unlikely that anything of the sort happens between us so I'm baffled as to why my mind played these kind of tricks in my unconsciously state.
Why? Just why did I, out of literally nowhere, have that dream? Not only did I just see myself and my best friend getting married, I was enjoying it too. Way too much. It's so weird. I was also experiencing emotions in my dream. Emotions that I don't hold for the said man. I mean, yes I love him dearly but platonically like a best friend not a lover. Fucking hell. Okay, I need to calm down and think.
I take a few deep breaths and put my remaining logic to use. Hmm.. Right.. Okay, this might be another indication that I definitely need some professional help cause my nerves haven't been functioning well these last few weeks of summer vacation. Yes! That must be it!
It's the nervousness of the first day which has also had me on my toes the last few days. But then again, that doesn't really explain this particular dream.
Oh, who am I kidding? The real problem is my thirsty mind. Seriously, after breaking up with my ex, I haven't gotten laid at all. Not that we had sex, just the other stuff. But they were still enough, at least up till now. And seeing as Jimin is quite the handsome lad naturally my brain showed me that I need to get some action or at least try to have a proper relationship. Not that I don't enjoy being by myself, but I might have missed being loved that way. Then again how would I know? I have never been loved properly, I've only just turned 19. Tsk, I can't afford to ponder about that too, so back to the previous matter.
Hmm.. It certainly wasn't a wet dream, it was rather cute and sweet. So that means I'm not just thirsty? And why Jimin? Is it because I had a crush on him during middle school and he's actually the only green flag other than my father that I've met till now?
Ahh.. I'm going crazy. And the weardest part of it all is that everything felt so real. From the reception to the overwhelming feelings and him. God him. It felt like I was literally touching him and kissing him in the end. And not only that but I was also gushing at the whole wedding situation too! Me of all people, who avoids weddings like the plague. Wait. Was this my subconsciousness telling me that I was destined to marry either way? Oh no.
"Y/N!! I told you to wake UP!"
My mom's pearcing voice echoes inside the whole apartment, snapping me out of my raging thoughts. Well this isn't going anywhere so I might as well get ready for uni I guess.
I give one last longing look at my bed before stepping on the floor and bid it goodbye for now. "I'll see you later my love." Ugh, why do classes have to start early? Can't I have afternoon classes from the get go? Freshman year will be a tough one.
After doing my morning routine which includes a quick shower, getting dressed in my favorite black jean shorts and purple frilly top, applying mascara and my favorite peach lip balm, I head downstairs and see my mon eating breakfast.
My dad had already left for work cause his job as the head of an oil company labs is far from here. Sometimes I truly feel sorry for him cause he leaves prior to all of us yet returns later, but at least the money is good.
"Have a bite to eat before you head out love, it's a big day for you and, judging by the redness in your eyes, you haven't slept much hm?"
"Thanks mom but I'm really not hungry. I'll just buy some coffee and maybe a muffin on my way." She scowls at me but simply nods and gives my forehead a kiss goodbye, before I put on my white converse and head out.
As I'm on my way to the train station, I see Jimin coming out of his home and before he got inside his car he spots me and beckons me to go over to him. Great. Now I'm gonna be all weird due to my stupid dream.
I take a deep breath.
Relax Y/N it's just Jimin.
Just Jimin.
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After getting ready and eating a hearty breakfast I decide to head out to uni since I woke up earlier than usual today. It's Y/N's very first day as a freshman and I want to show her around campus and make sure she will meet the guys. It'd be nice for her to have some more friends than just myself. Even though she's very social, in reality she's very picky with who she wants to hang out with that's why I've been her only best friend throughout her life till now. Not that's it's a bad thing but I think it'll be beneficial for her to have a small group of friends she can rely on if anything happens to me.
It feels like ages ago when she was just a high schooler and now she's all grown up. And since I'm two years older than her I have to guide her. God. I sound like a dad or something but I've vowed to protect her always. I mentally nod at my valiant thoughts and head out after bidding my parents and little brother goodbye.
It's a good day to take my car today cause I need to move the last of my things to my new place. The rest of the guys and I will be living together since Jungkookie is finally starting uni as well and I need all my clothes and personal hygiene stuff.
I'm quite hyped about the whole roommate thing. All seven of us have always talked about how fun it would be sharing one dorm and now that the chance has presented itself we wasted no time. It's going to be chaotic for sure but I can't wait.
As I'm loading my car I look up nonchalantly only to spot Y/N heading towards the train station so I wave at her. She doesn't seem to notice my presence at first cause she has her head lowered like she's thinking about something really serious. Her big frown clouding her pretty face is visible even if she tries to hide it. But at some point she raises her head and I signal her to come over.
Hmm.. I wonder what's wrong, she seems quite preoccupied with something. I hope she's fine.
I watch her carefully as she takes a really deep breath but after that she immediately smiles and waves back like a little girl. Weirdo. But I wouldn't have her any other way. She might put on a cool act but I know her for what she really is. A weird kid with a big heart and beautiful eyes whose happiness hangs on a thin string. That's why I have to protect my best friend. Cause sometimes she tends to lock herself away from everything and everyone when her heart feels like the emotions she experiences will wither her life source away.
"Morning Jiminie! Heading to uni too?"
"Yeop, so now that we stumbled upon each other, hop in." I nod at her to get inside my car while I close the back door before getting into the driver's seat and buckling my seatbelt which I dictate to Y/N as well.
"Oof Jiminie, I'm not a child anymore you know. I'll soon be taking my license as well." She rolls her eyes and pouts. Pfft, not a child anymore my ass.
"Yeah well, I know you better than you know yourself and you'd definitely forgotten about the seatbelt had I not told you so, little miss 'not a child anymore'."
I purposely mock her cause she always tries to act like she's matured enough to take on the whole world but her true nature never fails to giver her away. And frankly I prefer her playful and youthful spirit. She should act her age and not her shoe size, it's much more endearing and suited for her.
"Hah, anyway, now that you're all set let's finally go. We wouldn't want to be late on your first day now, would we?" I poke her side playfully before turning on the ignition and driving off.
"Yeah. Great. Let's go." Why does she sound so troubled?
"Y/N, you okay? You seem a bit off today."
"Huh, what? No. No no no. I'm perfectly fine it's just that I didn't sleep that much last night, as per usual. My bodily endeavors of slowly becoming a vampire are showing great results." She snorts and I can't help but do the same.
Even though she's been suffering from insomnia since forever she can still crack a smile and joke about it. That's one of the many things I love about her. She can always stay positive even in the toughest situations. Yet, it still worries me that she doesn't get the proper amount of sleep and rest she needs. At times it's her fault though. She can't seem to be able to leave her phone and actually relax, something I've scolded her for countless of times.
"Again? Damn, were you that excited about your very first day as a freshman? Or were you burning your braincells on YouTube again, hm?" I squint my eyes at her and reach over to pat her head slightly. She hates whenever I treat her like a little kid, but to me she's still the same adorable little munchkin I met 13 years ago.
"Tsk, first of all Park Jimin, I'm no kid okay? I'm already 19, which means I'm a legal adult here. And fyi, last night was one of the very few nights that I actually tried to sleep for real but, well, it didn't make any difference apparently. It would have been better if I hadn't slept at all. Plus meeting new people always has me on edge, you know I lose every spec of my confidence. So I guess I was too nervous to begin with and sleep just didn't sit well with it."
I sigh and shake my head in disagreement.
"You always say that and in the end I'm the one who's left out of your plans with your new friends." I tease her, knowing very well how she can't say no to other people when they invite her to hang outs. Sometimes she's too kind for her own good.
Y/N is the most open-minded, talkative and friendly person I've known in my life till now. She has always been able to make friends easily, even if she didn't stick around later on. That's how we actually became friends in the first place, after all. It was all thanks to her. And I'm the only lucky one she chose to keep by her side.
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September 7th 2005
I'm sitting alone in the neighbourhood park cause we moved from our house due to my dads promotion. I can't play with anyone cause I think the other kids don't want to be my friends. I am 8 y/o and all the other kids that I've met till now are much younger than me. And I don't want to play with babies.
I miss my friends from my old neighborhood. I wonder what they might be doing now. Probably fighting with each other for what they are going to play and then all get scolded by Seokjin hyung. The fact that I have to change schools as well makes everything even worse.
In the afternoons I prefer sitting alone at the playground waiting for my mom to come pick me up on her way from picking up my little brother from football practice.
But today I am feeling sadder cause I miss the boys more l cause I talked on the phone with Taetae and he said they would have a video game marathon today.
I sniff a little, not paying attention to anything. Suddenly a little foreign girl approached me out of nowhere and smiled. Where did she pop out from? I haven't seen her around the neighborhood before.
"Hi!! Do you wanna play with me?" She says in her high pitched voice which makes my ears perk up. She speaks the same language?
"Who are you?" I ask and jump down from the swing. "And why are you alone?"
"I'm waiting for my daddy to come pick me up. I'm new here and I have no friendth, tho do you want be my friend? My name is Y/N. Yourth?" She can't speak well and she's pouting. She reminds me of my little brother's stuffed animals, with those sparkling green eyes and curly hair.
"My name is Jimin." I simply tell her and peer at her. No friends huh? I guess I'm not the only one.
"Chimin? Do you want to be my friend?" She asks again. Hmm, I definitely don't want to play with any girls. But I have no boys here to play anyway. But a girl? Ugh! I want to go back!
"I don't play with girls." I look away scrunching my nose.
I feel a tug on my sleeve and turn my head back only to find her offering me a piece of candy.
"I have candy. And maaany toys. And I can play maaany thingth."
Well.. I huff and give in.
"Humph, fine Y/N. Let's be friends for now."
She giggles and grabs my hands with her smaller ones, pulling me towards the seesaw. I huff again and just follow her since I have nothing else to do but spend my time with this little stuffed animal.
"How old are you anyway Y/N?" I mean, if she's younger than my brother I'll definitely not play with her anymore, she can't even talk well. And she'll want to play with dolls and I hate dolls.
"I'm thix! How old are you Chimin?" She smiles and I notice that her two front teeth are missing. Ahh, so that's why she speaks like a baby.
"I'm 8 so you should do what I tell you to because I'm older than you." I pump up my chest and she just stares me lost. Is she deaf or something? Yeah okay she looks like a foreigner and maybe doesn't get it but we speak the same language right? I wave my hand in front of her face to see if she's listening.
"Yah, are you listening?" She suddenly jumps on my back and starts giggling like crazy. What?
"Let'th be friendth forever Chiminie!"
Yeah right, like that would happen.
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Ahh~ The good old times. And yeah we've been friends for 13 years now. Thirteen amazing years. I never thought that our friendship would last for more than a year. I thought I didn't need any other friends expect the guys. But I couldn't be more wrong. She's just as precious as the guys if not more.
But enough reminiscing or I won't be able to focus on driving. I clear my throat and resume our conversation.
"So how long?"
"Huh?"
"How long did you sleep for dumbo?"
"Du- you're the dumbo! And uh well, about two hours maybe? Not really sure. I was waking up before I realized it."
I sigh once again. She's a lost cause.
"Well then you'll need a lot of coffee in your system to function."
She groans and nods furiously.
"You're damn right I will. Can you stop by a coffee shop on the way?",
"Actually there's a cafeteria on campus which makes pretty decent coffee. It's no Starbucks but it definitely does the trick."
"Cool. I'll have your word for it then." She smiles cheekily and I return the gesture. Cutie.
We're already half way there and I decide to put on some music to pass the time, so Y/N can relax and get her mind off of whatever is making her so on edge. I know she's nervous but that can't be why she's spacing out like that. But if she doesn't want to talk about it I won't pressure her of course. She always needs her own time to process her thoughts and I respect that.
I skim through some playlists and decide on some soft pop music which I also enjoy as well especially when driving. Another common thing we share. We both love music and arts so that's why we both wanted to go to a university where we could study exactly that.
Y/N wants to major in music and performing, since she has a beautiful voice, while I am majoring in dancing and I'm also taking extra music classes. She's always insisted I sing more but I'm not so sure yet. I want to improve a lot more on my singing until I actually feel good about incorporating it to my performance. She's also begged me to sing together and I plan on indulging in her surely but in all due time.
Time passes quickly and we're slowly approaching the campus entrance making Y/N beside me tense up. It's cute how she turns into a little ball of nerves whenever she feels like her confidence is leaving her body without any solid reason whatsoever.
"Hey, just relax okay? You know I always got your back so just enjoy your first day alright?"
"Huh, easy for you to say, you're practically confidence with long legs." She lets out a big breath and shakes her head adorably. This stuffed animal will never change I swear.
I chuckle at the way she's exaggerating but I also can't fully blame her. She's starting a new chapter in her life. I was just like her on my first day here but being with the guys gave me reason to be somewhat confident now. Except when it comes to singing.
After I park the car in the parking lot we get out and make our way towards the main building. But suddenly she stops us from walking. And she takes a few breaths as she's looking down at her shoes. I can hear her muttering something to herself like a crazy person. I chuckle and take her by the hand, pulling her gently towards the main gate.
"Stop worrying so much okay? It's just uni, not hell."
"Might as well be. I've heard it can be worse than high school. People are intense too."
"Who the hell did you hear that from? Cause I'm the only person you talk to that attends uni and I know I've never said bs like that before."
I peer at her with a scrutinizing gaze as the fullness of her glossy lips hide behind a little pout and her eyes fall to the ground guiltily.
"Well- you know, movies and stuff." Her voice comes out barely higher than a whisper. I groan at her response and flick her head gently.
"Oh for fuck sake, Y/N listen to yourself! I get that you're nervous but now you're just being ridiculous."
She gasps and slaps my hand away as if offended. No further words escape her pouting mouth and I sign softly before pulling her into a tight hug.
"Look I know you're a little scared but it's going to be fine. I promise you'll love it here and you'll never be alone okay? I've already made sure of that."
Y/N looks up at me, question evident in her pretty eyes but I choose not to answer her inquiring stare.
"What do you mean? What have you done?"
"Tsk, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters now is for you not to be late on your first day, so quit worrying and move your ass beautiful."
I chuckle knowing that she loves when I call her that and pull her gently by her hand while she whines quietly. My head shakes at her overly dramatic act. I squeeze her hand in mine to reassure her and just let her take a few more breaths while we're heading towards the main entrance.
"Can you please not walk so fast? Give me at least a couple more minutes to mentally prepare myself. Geez, and you call yourself my best friend."
"Alright, alright drama queen. But in case you haven't heard, classes won't be waiting for your scared ass all day, y'know." I teasingly pinch her side to which she clicks her tongue and squints her eyes at me.
"Oh, shut up. You are utterly insensitive."
Her cheeks puff adorably and I try not to coo at her cute shenanigans. So I gasp acting as if I got offended and squeeze her hand while practically dragging her inside.
"HEY SLOW DOWN!" She yells while trying to pull her hand away. Too late for that love.
"Muahaha, welcome to your new life Y/N!"
I add the evil laugh for dramatic effect, yet I too start experiencing the excitement of finally being able to have her closer than before.
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still-with-koo · 7 months
Text
Mission: Park Jimin | PJM
Series: Chapter Three
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summary: you’re trying to piece together what you know so far when a strange series of anonymous tips propels you into a sequence of events that is more than you bargained for.
pairing: jimin x reader; some jungkook x reader and taehyung x reader
wc: 5,537
genre/warnings/rating: 17+; angst; some fluff; enemies to still enemies, maybe frenemies; idiots to still idiots; friends to friendlier friends; swearing; references/allusion to violence; mentions of weapons and pistols; some (poor) attempts at humour; the characters in this story are my own and do not reflect on the members of bts or anyone else. this is all made up and just for fun, please don’t take it too seriously!
a/n: it’s heating up. maybe listen to lilith by halsey & suga :)
chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four
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[unknown]: this message is for the agent looking for park jimin. follow this link and you’ll find him at noon today.
You’ve been staring at this message from the anonymous tip form for the past ten minutes as the taxi winds its way to the spot linked in the message.
It took Seokjin all of five minutes to trace the IP address to a bakery downtown. You will deal with that later. Anonymous tips never remain anonymous.
Right now, you only have fifteen minutes to reach the location before Jimin arrives.
When you told Seokjin you were going alone, he grimaced. Apparently the linked location is nestled behind an abandoned warehouse. Not the safest place.
Be careful, you can almost hear Jungkook say. You know he will scold you for following this tip on your own, like every other time you go off on your own.
But you don’t want to risk Minwoo and Nate tagging along. They’ve been acting really weird lately.
And Kelson has been incommunicado since that day you nearly fell from the cliff behind Central Bank.
He still doesn’t know Park Jimin saved you that day. And you have no intention of telling him.
Spotting the warehouse, you signal the taxi to slow and slip him a twenty.
It’s raining now. You find this out quickly as you step out the vehicle, eyeing the area around you.
It’s noisier than you expected, with food stands littering the road.
Slipping past a couple holding an umbrella, you find yourself at the precipice of the address.
You sneak around the corner, hand hovering over your gun. The sound of men talking throws you off guard. None of them sound like the twinkling voice of Park Jimin.
They are far gruffer. More violent.
You inhale before peering around the corner.
There are three men just beyond the dumpster. None of them fit the description you have in your mind of what Park Jimin likely looks like.
Your shoulders slump a little at this disappointment but you hope the tip hasn’t lead you too far astray. One of them may be Jimin … or they may have some information on where to find him. But you need to find a way to get them to talk first.
You’re much too impatient to seek an arrest warrant for crimes you know they’ve already committed.
Heck, you can spot three Mercedes-Benz hub caps and a shiny new catalytic converter by the bald man’s feet. If you wanted to, you could scrounge together probable cause to bring them in.
But in your five years as a field agent, you have learned one thing. Doing things ‘by the book’ takes far too long. And bureaucratic red tape cost more lives than you can count.
You unhook the safety on your holster and step forward, watching a red haired man spot you and come forward.
“Who are you?”
Fair question, you think. But not one you want to answer truthfully.
“I’m August. Looking for a Park Jimin. I have business with him and my buddy said you knew where to find him.”
His head tilts as he eyes you up and down.
“Business?”
The amused tone of his voice isn’t lost on you.
“Yes. That asshole promised me money and I intend to get it,” you say, rolling your shoulder and cracking your knuckles, “by whatever means necessary.”
The scar on the man’s face twists into an obscene shape as he attempts to smile, although he looks far more like a caricature than a real person.
“Pretty suit. But it’ll need more than a wash if you wanna threaten anybody on our turf.”
“My turf.”
Another man with much darker, long hair speaks, his hand brandishing a blade. He has a shadow of a smile on his face and you stare at him, trying to see if you can place him. Why does he look so familiar?
“Ok, your turf. Wanna tell me where I can find Park? That’ll make it easier for everyone,” you say, and then glance down at your suit momentarily, “and everything involved.”
The dark haired man smiles. It takes a split second for you to realize he is running at you full speed, blade drawn. Your words fall out without warning. “No one ever picks the easy way.”
With a roll of your eyes you rip off your jacket and stand firm, ready for his attack. It comes moments later and you slide to the right, letting his blade pierce air.
You grab his left arm and twist, kneeing him in the ribs. With a yelp he is on the ground.
The red haired man jumps at you and you duck.
The bald man grabs a large crate and hurls it at you. Sliding to the left, you let the crate hit the dark haired man on the ground.
The red haired man tries again and you jump back, kicking him straight in the face.
The bald man grabs you from behind and you jump back, grabbing his arm and twisting away from him. You knee him in the chest and watch him fall to the ground.
With an exhale, you turn around to face them with your pistol in your hand, surveying the crumpled bodies on the ground.
“Ok, now that the formalities are over, how about you tell me what you know about Park?”
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Nothing, apparently.
Those hoodlums had no idea whether you were asking about a person or how to park a car.
Just a red herring.
And you’ve locked yourself in your office ever since to figure out anything you can about Park’s whereabouts.
“You’ve been at it all day. Wanna come up for air?”
Jungkook’s leaning against the door, sandwich in hand as he watches you zoom in on a street corner.
You glance back and smile at the dumb look on his face. Seokjin kept his promise. Jungkook has no idea you followed a tip without him.
“Just a few more minutes. I need to figure out which way he went that day behind the bank.”
“Are you really going to go through all that cctv footage. I’m sure Seokjin has a far more efficient—“
“He’s out. Someone took his sandwich and he’s pissed.”
He stares at the sandwich in his hand, gulping hard, and then catches you grinning at him.
“Seriously…? When are you going to stop messing with me,” he asks, rolling his eyes.
You send him a wink before returning your gaze to the screen. “Actually, Jin’s busy helping Yoongi with the Jung case and won’t be able to help me for a few days. A pity, since he’s really the only help I get around here.”
You look at him just in time to catch the kicked puppy look on his face.
You turn away and pinch the bridge of your nose. “This case is driving me nuts. None of the victims want to talk to me, none of the cameras seem to have caught any trace of Park Jimin, and to top it all off, Kelson says I’m stupid for thinking every victim is somehow connected. I mean, I know there is a link there. I can feel it.”
“Since when do you care what Kelson thinks?”
You hum. He’s right, of course. Kelson’s opposition to your various ideas has never stopped you before. But then the words friendly crossfire bring on an uneasiness you can’t explain. You need Kelson onside.
“You remember Park’s warning? I think it’s good to be… careful.”
He nearly spits out his bite. “You’re still thinking about that? I thought we agreed he’s just trying to scare you…” You wonder how he can form those words with his tongue piercing his cheek.
You give him an absentminded nod, realizing you should probably change the subject before he burns a hole in his cheek.
You grab your mug of coffee and take a sip, far too cold by now but you don’t care. “You know what’s weird? Park’s choice of victims all have something big going for them right now. For example, Ahn Heemin. He just won the election for his district, right?”
He just shrugs, taking another bite of his sandwich.
“And then there’s Lee Arin. She won’t answer my calls,” you say, sighing, “but I heard she just got the go ahead to expand her restaurant chain.”
The look on Jungkook’s face tells you you’re losing him.
“You see,” you start, zooming out on your computer and drawing a circle that spreads out within the city limits. “There were far easier and more fruitful targets, but he chose these people,” you continue, setting your cup down and grabbing your binder, the one you always use for your field notes.
Flipping through it, you bring up the page with a list of all the victims. “They’re not even the richest in the city. So why them?”
Jungkook brings his hand to his mouth as he replies between chews, “Maybe these were the easiest targets for him? Didn’t you say he grew up in an orphanage nearby?”
“Kelson said the same the first time I brought this to his attention,” you sigh, putting your face in your hands, “He told me to drop it and focus on finding Park, but I can’t help feeling there’s something else going on.”
“What else could there be… Wait, you don’t mean something going on with Kelson?”
You inhale slowly, and bring up your gaze to meet his. He looks dumbfounded. You sigh, carefully choosing the next few words. “I found out… that Mr. Ahn made a rather large donation to our precinct.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen. “And?”
“Nothing. I’m not saying anything at all. It just seemed strange… and Kelson was absolutely livid when he found out I was searching Mr. Ahn’s name in our database.”
“But that donation… that could mean anything, right? I mean, he could just be a generous guy?”
You scoff, leaning back in your chair as you stare him down. “Politician and generous don’t usually go together.”
“Don’t tell me you think this is what Park was talking about?”
“I really don’t know… I don’t even know what this means, but I’m going to keep looking into it. I just know it will help me figure out how to track down Park.”
“I’m with you, whatever it is.”
“Thanks man. I just need to make sure Kelson doesn’t notice.”
“Notice what?”
Kelson’s voice booms in the corridor next to your office and within seconds he is rounding the corner. You gulp, shutting your binder while Jungkook leans back in his chair. 
“Uh… how much we drink at Friday night’s gala,” Jungkook replies nonchalantly, and you give him a small smile.
Kelson’s forehead crinkles and his eyes fall on you. “I don’t want you going to the gala, Y/N. Nor you, Jungkook. We need to keep our men to a low number.”
“What—? There’s no way I’m sitting out the gala, sir,” you reply angrily, hands balling up into fists before Jungkook kicks you under your desk. You throw him an angry look before turning back to Kelson, “I have to go to the gala, sir.”
“I need you here, Y/N. That’s my final decision.”
You attempt to stand and confront him but feel Jungkook pull on your shirt. You sit back down as Kelson turns on his heel, leaving your office as quickly as he entered it.
“I’m going,” you whisper and Jungkook nods. “Ms. Lee will be there. Mr. Ahn too. With some wine in them I might be able to ply some information out of them.”
“You really think they’ll talk?”
“Nah, I’m pretty sure they’ll tell me to talk to their lawyer… again,” you say, sighing. “I don’t get it. What are they hiding?”
“Even Mr. Kim? Isn’t he a family friend or something?”
Your head falls onto your folded arms across the table. Barely audible, you reply, “Yeah… After the first few times, he stopped answering my calls. All of them did.” You sigh into your sleeves.
“Well,” Jungkook hums, setting down his sandwich and wiping his mouth. “They’re all really wealthy business people and politicians. They’re always hiding something.”
Raising your head, you bite your lip. You hate to admit it, but he might be right. Maybe they are hiding something. Like Mr. Kim, he should have no reason to feel uncomfortable giving you information. So why is he holding back?
Your mind wanders to Park’s words that night when he held you at knife-point. More and more, you start to wonder if something weird is going on.
“I think you might be on to something,” you reply, reaching for your binder again. “I did think it was strange Park asked them to set a password for the wire transfers, and more than that, the choice of password was so… odd… hmm, let me just pull up his ransom call so you can see what I mean.”
As you click through the folders on your computer, Jungkook shifts uncomfortably in his seat. The sound draws your attention and you look at him, noticing his leg bouncing up and down. His voice startles you.
“You must be tired of that prick’s voice,” he says finally. When he sees your eyebrow quirk up, he clears his throat, “I can hear you listening to his stupid voice all the way from my own office. Ever heard of headphones?” The way his voice raises at the end makes you laugh and he just pouts at you.
Jeon Jungkook is not the most subtle man in your unit. Hell he’s a bit of an open book but that’s a quality you’ve come to admire. You like knowing where you stand with people. 
Staring at his profile, his teeth running over his lip ring, his poorly veiled insult swirling in your head, you can’t help think of the first time you ever heard Park Jimin’s voice.
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“Did you have fun ransacking my place? I thought you’d at least take your shoes off first.”
The familiarity with which he says this surprises you more than anything else. He may be mocking you, but there’s something else there.
You had traced this unnamed culprit to a run down apartment building down by the west side of town, an apartment under an obvious alias littered with undone laundry and half eaten pizza. And a few childhood photos. Luckily, you found a somewhat unsteady (and definitely inebriated) man who happened to know the identity of the man living in that apartment: Park Jimin. 
Officers are still surveilling his home, ready to alert you if he steps one foot inside the place. But you have received zero alerts on your phone… so how does he already know you searched his place?
“Park Jimin?”
It’s your voice. It’s you. 
Perfect.
“So you know my name. Wanna tell me yours, beautiful?”
The word “beautiful” catches you off guard but you try not to show it, glancing to the right to see if Seokjin has traced the call yet. He shakes his head and you swallow, pressing the receiver closer to your ear. Biting back the angry retort that reaches your throat, you take a breath and reply as calmly as you can.
“Agent Y/L/N. And, Mr. Park, I can promise if you turn yourself in along with that diamond necklace we can arrange for a lighter sentence tha—“
“Are you saying you want to cut a deal with me?”
You stop mid sentence and look over at Seokjin, who grins, his hand rising to show you an ok signal. They have his location. With a flick of your wrist, your counterparts are on their feet, rushing to the door on their way to Park Jimin.
You just need to keep him on the phone long enough for them to reach him.
“Yes, I would like to do that, Mr. Park. Tell me wha—“
“Good to know. I hope you have the same mindset in the future. Until next time, Agent.”
When the officers make it to the source of the call, the building is vacant, an old abandoned warehouse with a single phone and a note taped to the receiver: “Better luck next time.”
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You clear your throat and turn your attention back to Jungkook, noticing him adjusting his sleeves, rolling them up just enough to catch the outlines of his tattoos. When did he get the snake tattoo? 
He catches you staring and smiles. Actually, it looks more like a grin. You roll your eyes but can’t help smiling yourself before you clear your throat again.
“In Park’s call to Ms. Lee,” you start but are promptly interrupted by Kelson’s assistant.
“Sorry, it’ll just be a minute,” she whispers, and then points at Jungkook, making a “come here” motion with her finger with a smile. Jungkook looks puzzled, vaguely gesturing to himself. She nods and smiles when he slowly rises to his feet.
“Is it Kelson? Does he—“
She grabs his wrist and laughs, whispering something in his ear. At that moment your phone dings, and instead of being annoyed by the interruption, your focus shifts to the message blinking on your phone.
[unknown 3:41] you won’t get anywhere at your desk
Huh? Who would message that?
You look up and see your door slightly ajar. If it’s a practical joke, they’re not doing a very good job.
Maybe it’s a wrong number.
[You 3:42] Who is this?
You’re not one to rely on maybes.
But it dings again.
[unknown 3:43] kelson’s office has what you need. find the red folder
You peer out your door and it’s clear. All you see is Jungkook sitting at his desk with Kelson’s assistant sitting on top of it, playing with his shirt collar. They seem a lot closer than you had thought. Funny, you’ve never really seen them interact much before.
[unknown 3:44] this is the last time. you need to know
Your heart is beating fast. It feels like it might take off.
[You 3:44] Park Jimin?
You stare at the screen, waiting for his message. Or hers. Whoever is on the other end. Seconds turn to minutes and you realize he’s not going to respond.
Seokjin should be able to trace the number quickly enough, no matter how busy he is. You leave your office, glancing once again in Jungkook’s direction. When Jungkook catches you, he straightens up and pushes Nia’s hand from his chest. 
“Ah, I’ll be there in a minute, Y/N.”
“Don’t worry about it, I need to talk to Seokjin anyway.”
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After leaving your phone with Seokjin you return, only to see Jungkook sitting in your office. He’s playing with the ring on his right hand. When you walk in, he stands up.
“Sorry about earlier, I don’t know—“
You wave your hand dismissively. “I’ve been meaning to pay Kim Taehyung a visit. Wanna join me, Jeon?”
Something doesn’t sit right with you. And one thing you’ve come to learn over the last few years - your instincts are never wrong.
“What are you plan—“ Before he can finish his sentence, you’re already on your phone, the sound of Taehyung’s voice coming through on the other end. 
“Perfect. I’ll be over in a few minutes, Tae.”
To Jungkook’s chagrin, you two were now on your way to Jungkook’s second least favourite person’s house.
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“I thought you were ignoring me, Y/N. You haven’t been answering any of my texts or calls. You looked so shaken up that day…”
Taehyung reaches for your shoulder but retracts his hand after he notices you flinch slightly. “I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”
“I’m fine, Tae,” you quickly reply, “Don’t worry about me. Actually, I just wanted to see how you and your family are doing since the robbery.”
Taehyung bends a little so he’s eye level, giving you his signature smile that does little to put you at ease. He then peers around you, meeting the gaze of the man hovering behind you.
Jungkook gives him a little wave before stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“And him?”
You glance at Jungkook and then back at Taehyung. “Um, you know Jungkook, my partner…” When Taehyung raises his brow you clear your throat, adding, “Work partner… we work on a lot of cases together.”
“Hmm, I remember. So this is an official visit?”
“I want to talk to your dad. Is he in?”
“Actually,” Taehyung replies, scratching the back of his neck, “he’s in the back meeting with a business associate I think. He shouldn’t be too long though.”
“Good.”
He leads you inside his spacious home, Monets and Basquiats interspersed between a mix of minimalist columns and giant windows. To say his family is rich would be an understatement.
After exchanging pleasantries with Taehyung and his mom, you excuse yourself to use the washroom. 
You and Jungkook planned it all out in the car. You just need a few minutes alone in Mr. Kim’s study. And thanks to the years you spent in the Kims’ home as a side effect of your parents’ close friendship with them, you knew exactly where everything was, all the way down to the snug bookcase turned secret corridor where you used to hide whenever your parents had too much to drink and forgot to take you home.
It’s funny how much Taehyung used to terrify you growing up. He was the typical intimidating, rich guy who didn’t seem to want much to do with you. But ever since he came back from his overseas studies, he seems like a new person. Someone much kinder.
You listen for the start of Jungkook’s exaggerated retelling of his first ever arrest and know he should be able to distract Taehyung and his mom just long enough for you to take a quick look around.
While you’re not proud of searching without a warrant, you can’t bring yourself to put Mr. Kim through such a potentially embarrassing ordeal. He’s a kind man and you know he won’t mind if you verify that he doesn’t know more about Park than he’s letting on. If you can find anything that relates to the weird password, that much the better.
Taking a left at the end of the hallway instead of the right, you reach Mr Kim’s study. It’s unlocked as usual.
Sneaking in, you feel a cool breeze hit you. You pull your hair into a bun and start with the desk. 
Drat, the drawer is locked.
You feel across some of the ridges underneath, hopeful he, like many others, stores his key beneath a sliver of tape on the underside of the desk. As you reach below, the sound of a familiar voice catches you off guard.
“I appreciate your patience, Sangwoo. You see…”
You pause your ministrations, holding your breath when you recognize the voice. 
“… we’re pretty close to nailing him down. No need to worry about—“
“I trusted you to keep him in check, Rick, but I just got another one of those notes. If you can’t handle it I will need to get someone else.”
You recognize the two voices. The first belongs to Kelson. The second to Mr. Kim.
“Sangwoo, please understand. This is a sticky situation for us both. It wouldn’t be helpful for either of us…” Kelson pauses, and you hear some shuffling before he continues in a hushed tone, “to let any of this get out. It won’t be very pleasant either.”
Another scraping sound before you hear Mr. Kim’s booming voice reverberate across the walls. “You… you are not threatening me, are you? Ha,” he scoffs, and the next words send a chill down your spine. “Unpleasant? I see you haven’t been able to make things unpleasant enough. Maybe I’ll do it myself.”
You hear his words echo against your skull. What did he mean by that?
“I do have it under control, Sangwoo. She won’t be in the picture for much longer.”
From the corner of your eye, you notice a flutter at the door but the thought slips away just as quickly as it came while you desperately strain to hear the rest of the conversation. 
“We need your cooperation to get—“
You press your ear further against the paper thin wall but soon your vision is clouded by a pair of dark brown trousers.
Caught, you slowly follow the lean line up and nearly flinch when you catch the stern, frowning face of Kim Taehyung, the same intimidating, icy glare you recognize from so many years ago.
“What do you think you’re doing, Y/N?”
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You’re zipping up your bag when Namjoon walks into your office, your run-in with Taehyung still buzzing in your head. You need to make sure he doesn’t tell his father about your snooping - and you’re hoping you gave him enough incentive.
“Kelson rejected your search request.”
You look up with a frown.
“Really?”
He nods. “Not enough grounds to search their bank records officially. Sorry,” he says, pushing up his glasses to get a better look at you.
You shrug. It was a long shot anyway.
“Is Seokjin done for the day?”
Namjoon hums, a tiny grin on his lips. “It depends on what you mean by “done”.
When you quirk a brow he laughs. “Never mind, I’m going to head out before Kelson finds something else for me to do.”
You wrinkle your nose. “Has he not left for the day yet?” You were hoping to take a shot at that phantom red folder, assuming it exists.
“Nope. I think he might be in there all night tracking something he won’t tell me about. Every time I try to enter, he just barks at me.”
He grins but you’re too irritated, only managing a half smile.
When he leaves your office, you sigh and check your phone. Seokjin didn’t have any luck tracing the mysterious texts unfortunately.
Jungkook’s text blinks angrily at you.
[Jungkook 7:13] You better show up. I WILL watch this episode without you. Not kidding this time
You can’t help but smile. He’s been trying to cheer you up ever since that day behind the bank.
Now that you think about it, you don’t know how Jungkook figured out you needed cheering up. On the outside, you look perfectly fine. You made sure of it.
But inside, something about that moment triggered something within you that you can’t quite pinpoint.
“Hey, Y/N, I almost forgot...”
You look up to see Namjoon peering into your office, his deep dimple popping as he smiles at you sheepishly.
“I hope you don’t feel down about Kelson re-assigning you to the Jung case. I know you’ve worked so hard on the Park case but they can really use you with Jung—“
“What?”
Namjoon looks puzzled.
“Kelson is re-assigning the Park case to Nate…” When your jaw drops, he scratches his head. “Did he really not talk to you about this?”
You shake your head slowly.
“I’m sure he will tomorrow. I meant to come by earlier to take the file from you but I’ve been busy with these stupid admin things. Oh, like this anonymous tip I got. They’re saying there’s some kind of contraband at this abandoned warehouse.”
You’re only half listening to Namjoon as you try to calm yourself, knowing you are this close to bursting into Kelson’s office to smack him. Then your brain catches on one of Namjoon’s words.
“… something about it being an inside job and the words friendly fire. It’s just the most bizarre thing. I wanted to chuck it but Kelson specifically asked for all—“
“What did you say? What about friendly fire?”
Namjoon scratches his head again. “The tip asks us to check this abandoned warehouse because they believe an underground ring infiltrated the agency or something. They say we should be prepared for friendly fire. Honestly, it seems like someone off their—”
You remember your exchange with Jimin that day at the museum.
“You’re not… Are you suggesting friendly fire?”
“Oh, there’s nothing friendly about it. You’ve caught onto something, something much bigger than me. And I don’t think even you realize it. But Agent Kelson does. And so do your higher ups.”
Namjoon stares at you as the gears turn in your head. It’s a long shot but it’s better than nothing.
You slip your bag over your shoulder and face Namjoon, who is still leaning against your door. “Ok, Joon. Where is the warehouse?”
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To your amazement, the coordinates match up with those the anonymous tipster gave you this morning, the ones you thought were meant to send you on a wild goose chase.
But this goose has laid eggs.
“Just give me one hour,” you whisper into your phone as Namjoon groans on the other end. “Let me and Jungkook check it out first, ok?”
He grudgingly agrees, mostly because he would rather go home than face any more barking from Kelson.
Jungkook is pulling on a hoodie as you glance down at the one you’re wearing. Your outfits look nothing like the coveralls the men inside the warehouse are wearing but they will have to do.
“I better get ice cream after this,” Jungkook whispers, pulling the zipper up.
“Anything you want. Just shush.”
“Did you just shush m—“
You put your finger over his lip as you gesture towards the warehouse’s back door.
The area is brightly lit for an abandoned warehouse. Something you didn’t notice this morning.
Truthfully, you expected at least the appearance of neglect but if anything, the road must have been cleared within the last week and the red dots neatly lining up at each entrance indicate a well-tended and highly protected area.
You walk up closer then stop abruptly.
“Ugh, sor—“
Jungkook bumps into you when you stop short but your hand immediately comes up to block the rest of his apology. You sense movement.
You nod towards the far entrance and Jungkook gets the message.
You two double back and out of view. A large man emerges, directing a truck towards the far loading dock door.
A flood light flashes on as the truck enters its proximity. Two more trucks follow it.
You share a wordless look with Jungkook and he seems to understand.
You’ll need to enter along with the next truck.
Slinking along the perimeter, you quickly reach the far end of the warehouse. You watch as another larger truck appears. Now is your chance.
But a flood light flashes on and you two jump back against the fence. A shout erupts from the other side of the truck and you pull Jungkook into you. Hard. His body lands on yours with full force as you two hit the fence. “Y/N, what are yo—“
Grabbing his hoodie collar, his eyes widen as he realizes what you’re about to do. Your lips land on his and your hands tighten as Jungkook’s eyes flutter shut. Any shock melts from his body as he leans into you, his hands cupping your face now.
Your eyes are squinting at this point and when you notice the man walk away with a disgusted expression, you let Jungkook’s collar go.
He’s still kissing you, though.
Politely, you tap on his chest and his eyes snap open, a shy smile on his face as he pulls away. Wiping the corner of lip, he asks quietly, “Did you really think kissing me would help us blend in?”
You bite your lip, gazing over his shoulder.
“I think that’s the last truck. We need to go. Now.”
With another nod, you both rush towards the blindspot of the vehicle and pass in simultaneously.
Inside, you both back into the shadows, noticing the lack of lighting at the edges of the warehouse. There is a very clear focal point.
At the centre of the warehouse, men load large crates onto the trucks that enter. Those must contain the contraband the tip was referring to.
Jungkook points towards the truck near the front. It looks like it has been filled and awaiting final inspection.
Then you spot a bin with coveralls matching those the men are wearing. Jungkook has already noticed it and he is sneaking towards it with the utmost stealth. Within 30 seconds, he is back with two sets.
Slipping into them, you two appear far less conspicuous.
As casually as two undercover agents can manage in the middle of a brightly lit warehouse, you two start strolling towards the truck.
A man nearby glances towards you and you simply nod, pulling your hat lower down. He looks away.
Inhaling relief, you keep walking. Jungkook is following in step.
As you reach the truck, you pull off the cover.
Wow.
There is enough artillery in here to stage a revolt of some sort. But shockwaves reverberate through your body when you pick up one of the pistols.
It’s government issue. And you recognize the bar code prefix.
This is from your unit.
“Look at this, Jungkook,” you whisper, still surveying the pistols.
When you get no response, you whisper a bit louder, glancing over your shoulder.
But his response is much, much louder.
“I’m a little busy here.”
When you turn towards his voice, you see he is indeed busy, having been surrounded by several armed men. All of whom have their guns drawn and faces covered.
Shit.
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22 notes · View notes
to-star-lake · 1 year
Text
saved [ intro + pt. 1]
pairing | jimin x reader (x jungkook) ; rockstar au warnings |18+ Minors DNI; drug abuse, smoking, mentions of self-harm, character death, explicit sex, emotional trauma, toxic relationship
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[ INTRO. ]
What would you have done differently? 
That’s a question I got asked a lot in the aftermath. And believe me, I’ve thought about it a lot. I’ve thought about it from every angle, from every direction. I thought about the whole fucking thing, linearly, start to end. I thought about it at random times, about the pivotal moments, they only seemed arbitrary at the time, like they would have no impact. But they fucking did. Why couldn’t I see it at the time? 
But truthfully, there was nothing I could’ve done. 
There was only one person that could’ve saved her. 
But what do you do when the one person who could’ve saved her, needed saving himself? 
I was only 23 at the time, and I thought I knew everything about the world. I thought I knew what love was: something that would ruin you if you get too close. I thought I knew her, I thought I knew him. 
I can say now that I actually knew nothing. Not a single fucking thing. About the world, or about them. Them..always caught in their own universe, the way they’d laugh and sing together like nothing, no one else in the world existed. There was a time when I was driven mad by jealousy at the way they were. But I can understand now, or at least I think I do. Theirs was the kind of love that would not break, even in death. And theirs was the kind of love that could only bring pain.
I spent one year with Bulletproof. In that one year, I learned love, heartbreak, and loss, but most importantly the meaning of intent, and action, and consequences. Consequences...
There are memoirs being written about her already. They describe her and Jimin’s love like a greek tragedy, like some Shakespearean play. When I read them I want to grab the collar of the person who wrote it, throw them across their desk, smash their printer through their window, and rip apart every fucking word they dared to put on paper about her. How dare they sensationalize her story? How dare they reduce her life to mere words.
It’s the morning of the 12th of October. The day before Jimin’s birthday. The day of the anniversary of her passing. Yoongi will be here soon to pick me up.
No one will ever read this. Sometimes I feel stupid for writing this at all. But my friends say it’ll help. Writing shit down. It’s supposed to help. Well, I’m still waiting for the help part to happen. 
- JK, 10/12
/
“Shit-”
Yoongi cursed under his breath, the cigarette situated between his lips almost fell out as he hissed, turning the steering wheel, screeching the car to a stop on the side of the road. 
Jungkook turned and looked out the window at the thing that caught Yoongi’s attention. 
“Shit,” he muttered too. 
Both of them quickly shuffled out of the car, Jungkook running up the hill, fallen leaves and dried grass crunching underneath his boots and Yoongi followed behind him slowly. 
“I wonder how long he’s been here,” Jungkook sighed, coming to a stop. 
“Well, he smells like shit so I’d guess a few days,” Yoongi snuffed out his cigarette on the bottom of his boot, tucking it behind his ear for later. 
“Jimin-hyung, wake up..” Jungkook crouched down, tugging at Jimin’s shoulder to turn him over. 
He’d been lying face down in the grass, one hand clasped around the neck of a half-empty bottle of scotch. He was in a pair of dirty jeans and a flannel shirt that was covered in leaves and mud and stains, his hair was long and greasy. Jungkook tried not to be affected, but had to cover his nose because of the acrid smell of vomit nearby. He wondered how many times Jimin threw up, glancing around at the other empty bottles of liquor strewn about. 
“Put him in the car, I’ll clean this up,” Yoongi sighed, bending down to grab the bottle from Jimin’s hands. He pulled out his phone and dialed for the groundskeeper. “I’m so sorry, man-” 
“It’s alright, Mr. Min. It’s October 12th, I understand. We have to work together to look after him this time of year,” Jungkook heard the groundskeeper say on the phone. 
Yoongi thanked him, and Jungkook hooked one of Jimin’s arms around his neck, pulling him up. Jimin groaned, which was a good sign because that meant he was coming to. 
“Will you bring the flowers back up after you put him in the car?” Yoongi called after Jungkook, who turned his head and nodded in response. 
“No, no, where are you taking me, get your fucking hands off me,” Jimin muttered incoherently, throwing ineffective fists at Jungkook as he tried to set him down in the backseat of Yoongi’s car, his limp body falling back onto the seat. “It’s my fucking birthday tomorrow, she said she’s gonna be here..she called me, she said she’ll be here...”
Jungkook’s jaw clenched, trying his best to ignore Jimin, pulling at his legs to swing them into the car. 
“She said she was gonna be here, she’s a fucking liar!” Jimin screamed, his body shriveling up into a fetal position on the backseat, burying his head in his hands. Jungkook felt his hands clenched into fists at his sides, his cheeks grew hot, liquid building up at the corners of his eyes. 
He shook his head, closing the door of the car gently as Jimin continued muttering something, drooling into the fabric of the seat. Turning, he saw a black Mercedes pull up. The doors opened, Jin and his wife stepped out, both wearing black. 
“Hey man,” Jin caught Jungkook’s hand and pulled him into a hug. His wife handed Jin the large bouquet in her hands and gave Jungkook a hug too. 
“How are you doing, sweetheart?” 
“I’m alright, noona,” Jungkook answered quietly. 
She nodded and they both glanced at the backseat of Yoongi’s car. 
“Every fucking year,” Jin sighed, shaking his head. “I wish he’d get his shit together.” 
“Seokjin!” his wife chastised. “Don’t be insensitive.” 
“You think y/n would want him to live like this??” he scoffed, slipping a cigarette between his lips and turning to head up the hill towards Yoongi. 
She sighed. “He doesn’t mean to be so hurtful, it’s just...he’s always angry, every year too when this comes around...he doesn’t like to show how much it affects him too..”
“I know, noona,” Jungkook whispered. Turning around to the passenger seat of Yoongi’s car, he picked up a bouquet of white lilies. Jin’s wife smiled, linking arms with him and headed up the hill to join the others. 
Yoongi was talking with the groundskeeper, who had hosed away the puddles of dried vomit and was now shoveling new mulch and peat moss over the dead patches of grass. Jin stood, quietly looking at the headstone; at your name, the inscribed dates, a crude frame of your life. And under that, the one who always had love in her heart for everyone. 
Yoongi took the bouquet from Jungkook and took a seat on the ground, setting the bouquet down, placing a hand on the cold stone plaque. 
“I found this rare recording of Hole at the CBGB’s in New York from 1986 at this super random record shop the other day,” Yoongi took a deep breath in. “When I got home I popped it onto the turntable and I actually took out my phone to call you cus I knew you’d kill me if I listened to it without you.” 
Jungkook gritted his teeth, a tear falling down his cheek against his will. He heard Jin stifle a sob from beside him. 
“I miss you y/n..” Jungkook heard a hitch in Yoongi’s voice. Another tear fell. He squeezed his eyes shut, tilting his head to the sky as though gravity were the culprit, pulling his tears down against his will. 
“I miss you so fucking much..” Yoongi’s head fell over, his hand reaching up to cover his eyes, letting out a ragged breath. 
Jungkook thought about how he never sees Yoongi cry. Yoongi never cries. Never, except once a year.
[ PT. 1 ]
“Now they only have a few minutes before they have to go onstage, so please be brief.” 
Jungkook nodded, his heart pounding in his chest, adrenaline coursing as he followed behind Namjoon the manager through a crowded hallway that led backstage. He was flustered, the pit of his stomach churning with excitement and he kept bumping shoulders against the people lining the halls, apologizing profusely while Namjoon somehow managed to avoid running into anyone. 
“Alright, here, go on in, remember you only have a few minutes.” 
“Oh, well I-” Jungkook couldn’t finish his sentence, and was shoved through an open door. 
The room was tiny, with an old, faded blue velvet couch pushed against one wall. There was an old coffee table in the middle of the room, and the floor was littered with half empty bottles of beer, red plastic cups, cigarette butts, and guitar picks. The air was thick with the smell of liquor and tobacco smoke, Motley Crue’s Live Wire was blasting from the speakers on the opposite side of the room. 
Jungkook stood awkwardly in front of the door that closed behind him, his shoulders tensed up around his ears, and was suddenly super self conscious about his outfit choice: tight, faded jeans, with the knees blown out, a leopard print shirt, and a destroyed denim jacket over it. His heart pounded in his chest, feeling the strap of the guitar on his shoulder slowly sliding, his new eyebrow piercing starting to itch as blood rushed to his face. He wondered if he shouldn’t have gotten it done yesterday, maybe it was too soon. Everyone was going to see that it was still a little bit swollen, and would judge him and think he’s trying too hard. 
He gulped, looking around. He knew all of your names. He’d been a fan for almost a year now, and had followed you guys around to three cities on your tour. 
Jin, the bassist, stood in front of a dirty mirror on the wall, adjusting his tie, practicing a wink, bobbing his head to the beat of the song banging through the speakers. 
Yoongi, the guitarist, was seated quietly on the sofa with a pair of headphones on, tuning the guitar on his lap. Beside him was Jimin, the drummer, who was leaned back languidly, his arms thrown over the back of the couch, a cigarette hanging loosely between his lips. 
And you. 
“Seokjin, please I am begging you do not do your fucking flying kiss shit tonight, I am BEGGING you.” 
Jungkook felt his heart skip hearing your voice.
“Fuck you, the ladies love it,” Jin spat back, eyes glued to his reflection. 
“Yoongi, please make him stop,” you groaned, plopping down on the sofa between him and Jimin, your hands pressing the edge of your plaid skirt against the velvet fabric. 
“Not getting involved,” Yoongi shook his head, lighting a cigarette. 
You rolled your eyes, and caught Jungkook in the periphery. He gulped, Motley Crue slammed into Black Sabbath’s Children of the Grave over the speakers.
“You came!” 
Jungkook thought his heart must’ve stopped when you jumped to your feet, and ran over to him, throwing your arms around his neck. 
“I’m so glad you made it!” he felt your lips on his cheek, soft and warm. 
“Yeah..uh..thank you guys for inviting me, again,” he replied nervously, raising an unsure hand and waving at the guys around the room. 
Yoongi gave him a small nod. 
“Hey man, glad you’re here,” Jimin walked up, catching his hand in a shake, which caused Jungkook’s heart to skip again. 
Jin didn’t acknowledge him. But Jungkook saw you rolled your eyes at this.
“Don’t worry, Narcissus over there will soon get what’s coming to him.” 
Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh at this. 
The door swung open and Namjoon poked his head through.
“Let’s go guys, it’s time.” 
“FUCK YEAH, I’m so fucking ready,” Jin spat, picking up his bass guitar that was leaned against the wall. 
Yoongi quietly swung the strap of his instrument over his shoulder and gave Jungkook another nod as he ducked past him. 
“Enjoy the show man, we’ll see you after,” Jimin gave a light tap on the side of his arm before walking out.
“Come on,” you smiled, taking him by the hand and leading him out into the hallway. 
“Alright, here’s where we leave you. Make sure to get yourself a spot at the very front so you can get a good view of us,” you smiled up at him, planting another peck on his cheek. “Oh, and one more thing,” you turned at the black curtains by the edge of the stage before walking out. “Be sure to listen closely, we expect you to be able to jump right in once we get you in the studio with us next week.” 
You winked and walked out to deafening screams and Jungkook stood, stunned, feeling like he’d had the wind knocked out of him for five whole minutes. 
“That was so fucking sick!” 
Jungkook bunched his shoulders together, nervously following you through the crowded entryway of the mansion the band was renting while working on the new album. 
He took the drink you handed him and you clinked your plastic cup against his, “Wasn’t it so fucking sick tonight?” you yelled into his ear over the heavy bass of the song slamming through the speakers. 
“Yeah, you guys were amazing!” he yelled back, glancing around nervously. “Do you guys always throw a party like this after a show?” 
You laughed. “We used to, but then we stopped cus shit would get super out of hand once we got more big. But I guess people got so used to us doing this that they just kept showing up even if we didn’t plan on having a party!” you took a long sip of your drink. 
He nodded quietly. 
“Hey!” you placed your hand on the side of his arm, giving him a little squeeze. “Try to have some fun tonight! You look all timid and tense, you shouldn’t! You’re gonna be the new lead guitarist for Bulletproof! You’re gonna fucking kill it!” 
Jungkook smiled at this, letting out a quiet sigh, feeling some pressure relieve, while more pressure built up. 
“Alright, I gotta go say hi to some people, go! Have fun!” 
He waved as you receded through the crowds of people. 
He watched you guys quietly throughout the evening. Jin, seated on a large leather sofa in the living room, surrounded by girls on either side, all tugging and pulling at his hair, at his tie, a great wide grin spread across his face, a cigarette between his teeth. 
At Yoongi, who sat quietly at the breakfast nook in the kitchen, a scotch on ice in a highball glass in his hand, conversing with one of Bulletproof’s producers. 
At you, bouncing from crowd to crowd. You’d just started a conversation with one group when someone would emerge out of nowhere and pull you into another. You smiled big, greeting everybody and hugging everybody, tossing your head back in laughter, posing for endless photos. 
Jungkook knew. As much as he wanted some alone time with you. As much as he wanted to be seated in a quiet room with you, so he could show you his music, so he could listen to you sing the melodies he’d written, just for you...he couldn’t. Because of everyone else. Everybody loved you. Everybody wanted a piece of you. 
Jungkook had taken a seat in the drawing room, on a sofa across from where Jimin sat, a cute blonde girl in his lap, with her arms clasped tightly around his neck, who kept whispering things into his ear. Jimin listened, smiling. Jungkook watched them for a while and couldn’t tell for the life of him if Jimin was being genuine to this girl, or if he just found her amusing. He decided it was probably the latter. 
The evening drew on, and Jungkook had just politely refused the group of guys and girls that crowded the coffee table in front of him, one of them chopping rails with a credit card on the back of a magazine. Nirvana’s Come As You Are was cranking through the speakers and Jungkook was about to get up to get another drink when he saw you turning the corner into the room, finding Jimin on the sofa. You looked somewhat different, your face looked a little sunken in, makeup a bit smudged around your eyes. You must be tired, he thought. 
He watched with wide eyes as the cute blonde girl threw her arms up at your entrance and you leaned down and planted a long kiss on her lips. His eyes darted to Jimin, whose expression didn’t change a bit. 
“y/n, you were so fucking amazing tonight!” the girl shrieked when you pulled away. 
“Thank you, Mira, sweetie,” you gave her nose a little boop. You turned to Jimin, and ran a hand through his hair. 
“You heading up already?” he asked, taking your hand and giving it a squeeze. 
You nodded, “I’m beat. Have a good night you guys.” 
You turned to leave, and Jungkook watched your arm linger for a moment behind you, Jimin’s hand reluctantly letting yours go. He thought this was his chance. 
Quietly, he followed behind you as you made your way back through the kitchen, giving Yoongi a back hug and a kiss on the cheek, bidding him goodnight. Through the living room, where you found Jin, two girls on his lap, one was trying to get her tongue as far down his throat as possible, the other was busy leaving hickies on his neck. You’d only scoffed, and turned to head upstairs. 
Jungkook had pulled his notebook from his guitar bag by the door, and clutched it tightly to his chest as he followed silently behind you up three flights of stairs. He was ducked behind a wall, and saw you disappear into a room at the end of a long hallway. Hole’s Celebrity Skin began playing, muted through the thick marble walls from downstairs. His hand gripped around the spine of his notebook and he approached the opened door to your darkened room nervously, and was about to knock when he saw you flip on the bathroom light and leaned forward, your hands on the marble counter, your head hanging. 
He moved through the open door, a question about your welfare catching in his throat when he saw you pull out a tin of altoids from the little pocket on the back of your skirt. 
Jungkook’s brows furrowed, focusing in on the little metal box in your hands, and his eyes grew wide at the realization that it did not hold breath mints. 
He watched you dump its contents onto the marble vanity; little blue, yellow, and white pills. He watched you pick out the little yellow colored ones, tossing one into your mouth and swallowing it with a glob of spit. You crowded a few others together on the countertop, and using the bottom of a glass that held a toothbrush, crushed and ground them into a powder. 
He stood, frozen, watching as you bent down, one finger holding on nostril shut and, one snort, two snorts. You stood, rubbing at your nose, sniffling. Jungkook felt his fist clench at his side, his other hand gripped so tightly around his notebook he was leaving a dent in the binding. He could see your reflection in the mirror, your pupils blown out so wide your eyes looked like black holes in their sockets. 
“y/n?”
Jungkook heard Jimin’s voice calling from outside in the hall. Panicked, not wanting to be caught here, he knew he shouldn’t be here, he saw the closet door at the adjacent wall, slightly ajar and ducked into it. 
“y/n?” Through the crack in the door, he saw Jimin enter the room. 
He heard the door shut behind Jimin, the latch of the lock clicking. He walked into the bathroom, and Jungkook shuffled quietly to one end of the closet, peering through the crack between the door and the wall. 
He watched Jimin move up behind you, his arms reaching down and wrapping around your waist, resting his head in the crook of your neck. Jungkook found himself holding his breath again in an attempt to quell his heart that was pounding in his chest. 
“You sang beautifully tonight,” he heard Jimin whisper into your skin. You’d slid a cigarette between your teeth, lighting it and taking a drag. 
“Really?” 
“Really.”
The little crack was enough for Jungkook to see you turn to face Jimin, lace your arms up around his neck and lean up into him. Your lips met his, and Jimin greeted you eagerly, his fingers gripped tightly into your waist, lifting you and setting you down on the counter with ease. 
Your kisses were hurried, hungry, and Jimin indulged you, giving himself to you, letting you be consumed with him. 
“Do you still want me tonight?” Jimin asked through gasped breaths. 
You pulled him close, your lips on his neck. “I always want you,” you whispered. 
Jungkook felt a huge lump forming in his throat, his mouth dry, his eyes stinging from staring. He wanted to swallow, but feared making any sound and being discovered. He’d hoped Jimin would close the bathroom door behind him so he could sneak back out, but it was clear now there was no easy way out. He watched through the crack in the door as Jimin pulled your tank top over your head, his hand reaching behind you and unclasping your bra with ease. He watched Jimin pull you close, his mouth covering yours, and he reached out, pushing the pills on the countertop away. 
“Fuck me in the shower,” he heard you whisper in Jimin’s ear. Jimin tugged roughly at your hips, pulling you into the shower, one hand unzipping your skirt and pulling it down, the other reaching for the silver knob on the wall. Water poured down over your bodies and hurried hands tugged and pulled at the rest of the clothes that the two of you still had on. 
Steam rose and Jungkook watched Jimin pin you against the marble tiles, turning your head to face him to kiss you, to catch your moans on his tongue. Jimin ground his hips into you from behind, one arm wrapped tightly around your waist, the other across your chest, holding you flush against him. Jungkook swallowed thickly, his breath hitching when he saw Jimin’s hand travel up and close around your throat and you let your head back against his shoulder. The rhythm of your moans was becoming uneven, and Jimin’s hand closed tighter but quickly moved over your opened mouth to cover a scream, and both your bodies fell languid against the tiles. 
Jimin held you up, squeezing soap onto your body and his, letting the hot water wash over both of you, his hands gently brushing across your skin. He’d turned the water off, bringing you out of the shower and dried your body and hair with a towel before carrying you back into the room. He’d picked you up, and laid you gently onto the bed and you fell back limply. He pulled the covers over your body, taking a seat by your side and pressed soft kisses on your forehead. 
“Are you ok?” he asked in a whisper. You nodded, and he smiled. “Sleep well, love.” 
Jungkook was holding his breath, his entire body tensed and still and beginning to cramp. He watched Jimin sit like that beside you for a few quiet moments, watching as you drifted off to sleep. 
“You can come out now.” 
Jungkook’s heart jumped, his legs frozen beneath him. Shit.
He saw Jimin stand, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from the nightstand, lighting one. He turned and moved towards the closet. Jungkook stepped backward on instinct, but tripped on something below his feet, falling, and taking down a pile of clothes with him, their hangers clattering around him, one of his boots kicking the closet door open in the process. 
“Ow..” he swiped at the top of his head where a shoebox landed a second ago. He looked up to find Jimin standing over him, naked, a stream of smoke streaming from the corners of his mouth. 
Jimin sighed, and reached behind Jungkook, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and slid his legs into them. He then held a hand out, which Jungkook took, and helped him to stand. Without a word, he moved over to the little table beside the bedroom’s balcony door and took a seat at one of the chairs. Jungkook stood, dumbfounded, embarrassed, ashamed, scared, his cheeks growing hot. 
“Sit.” Jimin beckoned at the chair beside him. 
Unable to do anything else, Jungkook made his way over, taking a seat in the empty chair. A few moments of uncomfortable silence passed, the only sound was the quiet thumping of music from downstairs, and the light crackling of the end of Jimin’s cigarette burning to ash when he took a drag. 
“H-How did you know I was in there?” Jungkook finally asked. 
“I saw you follow her up here,” smoke poured out from Jimin’s nostrils as he responded. “I didn’t see you anywhere in the hall, I figured you must’ve hid in here when I came in.” 
Jungkook pondered this response for a moment, his brows furrowing at a realization. Did he..do this on purpose? Knowing I was here? Knowing I’d be watching?
He was about to ask when Jimin stood, and made his way into the bathroom. Jungkook watched as he stood in front of the vanity, sighing as he looked down at the pills and the smeared little pile of powder. He reached a hand out, swiping everything into his palm and walked over to the toilet. He tilted his hand, dumping everything into the water, and flushed it all away. 
“I know you’ve been watching her all night,” he continued, moving back and taking a seat beside Jungkook again. “Did you see who gave her the pills?” 
An image of you from earlier flashed through Jungkook’s mind: your darkened gaze, the smeared mascara under your eyes. 
“No, I didn’t..” he answered quietly. “Um..I hope it’s okay for me to ask...so, you and y/n..you’re together?” He never knew, and in fact, no one knew. There was never anything on the news, nothing in the gossip blogs, no paparazzi photos. This must be a well-guarded secret. He wondered if the rest of the band knew. 
Jimin smiled. 
“It’s just-,” Jungkook shook his head a little, embarrassed that he asked the question. You didn’t have to be together to sleep together, he thought to himself. “Sorry, it’s just..you two seem really close..I mean, compared to the other guys.”
Jimin took a long drag. “y/n and I have known each other since we were teenagers,” he said softly. “When we turned 18, we moved in together into this shitty little apartment in the city. It was so small, and there were cockroaches in the kitchen, and we had this one tiny window. She was on her way, she had gotten into a really prestigious music school, she was probably going to be in famous plays and musicals. I was selfish, I guess, and crazy possessive. I told her I loved her, that I needed her with me. I told her that because she loved to sing, that I would write songs for her to sing. I told her to only sing songs that I wrote for her,” he laughed, almost bitterly. Jungkook swallowed, his fingers gripped tightly around the notebook in his lap. 
“And she just smiled. She just fucking smiled and told me ‘okay.’ She crushed my heart at that moment. She took my heart, and crushed it, and to this day holds it in the palm of her hand. She could kill me in cold blood and I wouldn’t bat an eye. I’d do anything for her. I love her more than anything in this world.” He took another long drag. “She saved me. I was a complete fucking delinquent in school, I had nothing going for me. Except one day in middle school when she came up to me in the stairwell during lunch and pulled the headphones off my ears and told me, ‘I like Nirvana too.’ When she sang to me for the first time, I thought that’s what angels sound like. She belongs onstage. Everyone loves her. She gave me a future.” 
Jungkook looked down at the worn cover of the notebook in his lap. I told her to only sing songs that I wrote for her.
“She really likes you, man.” 
Jungkook’s eyes shot back up at Jimin, his cheeks flushing. 
Jimin smiled again. “The first night in that cramped little apartment we sat on our mattress on the floor and looked out the window. There was no view, it looked directly at this cracked brick wall of the building next door. That night I told her that I would make it so that one day she could sing on a stage in front of thousands of people, we’d live in a huge mansion, and have crazy parties all the time, and she would be happy.” He leaned forward, smudging out his cigarette on a crystal tray on the table. “We’re playing arenas now. We’re here in this mansion. People line up and beg to party with us. And she’s up here by herself downing percocets.” 
Jungkook felt the corners of his lips drop. 
“You like her too, don’t you?” He was caught off guard by Jimin’s question. “Don’t you?” 
He moved his head in the smallest nod. 
“Then help me. I got her sold out arenas, I got her all this glitz and glamour. And I told her she would be happy and I will not be made a fucking liar.” 
Jungkook glanced at the toilet in the bathroom, then back at the vanity. At the residuals of the smeared powder on the countertop. He turned and looked at you, your breaths soft in sleep. He thought of your laugh and your smile, how nice and sweet you’d been to him ever since the first time he nervously approached you after a concert, asking if he could play a song for you. How you listened so intently, told him you loved his lyrics and gave him genuine feedback on his composition. 
I love her more than anything in this world. 
I told her to only sing songs I wrote for her. 
I got her sold out arenas. 
I got her all this glitz and glamour. 
Jungkook felt his jaw clench. I this, I that, that’s a lot of fucking I’s for someone that claims he only lives for her, he thought to himself. 
And she’s up here by herself downing percocets. 
He gritted his teeth. He wondered if Jimin knew the meaning of the word love. He wondered if Jimin knew you at all. 
pt. 2
110 notes · View notes
axigailxo · 1 year
Text
Pretty Like You | PJM (1)
part one: mini-skirts and big problems
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— in which park jimin desires nothing more than to be pretty like you.
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series summary. where jimin is jealous of the beauty that is you, writes about it, and falls apart when you accidentally read it.
pairing. feminine!jimin x reader
rating. M | 18+ |
genre. enemies to lovers, feminine!jimin, self hatred au, slight identity crisis, self love journey, eventual smut, sub!jimin, angst, fluff, heartfelt
w.c. 4.2k
warnings. heavy descriptions of self hate and self abuse later into the story, please be advised
ch summary. an introduction into the crumbling life of park jimin and his cat, daisy.
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**this is part 1 of my new series pretty like you, not a stand-alone
series masterlist | next->
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It’s horrendous.
Implausible, even.
No human being should’ve looked that good on a Monday. But of course, like always, you did. You always do.
Jimin has drawn the conclusion that there’s no way you’re naturally that stunning and you go the extra mile to get ready every morning. And he thinks it’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous that you’d get up an extra hour or two earlier just to show up to a class that only lasts a little over an hour where you’re just sat behind a desk the whole time.
But then again, Jimin appreciates your attire. So much so that he was able to memorize it from this morning’s lecture.
A dainty black miniskirt with a cami and cardigan that Jimin may or may not have a replica of, and the sheerest shade of pantyhose to really capture that sex appeal you love. Jimin has noticed, by now, that you try to add at least one sexy article to every single outfit you wear. Jimin notices, and Jimin hates it.
He hates that you can dress sexily without the fear of being judged, whereas for Jimin, it’s not so easy.
Tossing another cropped tee into the mountain of clothes piling on the floor, Jimin’s huff is quick to turn into something of a strangled cry as he collapses to the ground, back against the side of his bed.
As if on cue, a furry figure of a cat peaks into the doorframe, walking in proudly like it owns the place. At this rate, it does considering it’s always there to ease Jimin during these troubling times.
Daisy takes care of Jimin, and on occasion, it’s the other way around.
Daisy, Jimin’s calico cat, nudges her soft head against his arm that’s lazily slumped down, encouraging him to pet her. When he does, her purrs rev up like an engine and the small gesture is enough to steal a slight twitch of a smile from the man.
However, it doesn’t stop the oncoming sob.
Tears fresh and emotion at its highest, Jimin stays sat on the ground wearing nothing but the repulsive baggy sweatpants that he forced himself to wear only because it’s better to pretend he likes dressing that way than wearing what he actually likes and getting judged.
Jimin, believe it or not, is a coward. His words. He hates that he can’t just put the damn skirt on. He hates how he can’t bring himself to leave his apartment in that cute cropped tee that he bought ages ago and still has never worn.
He hates how he’s such a pussy when it comes to this.
But it’s not just skepticism. Jimin knows there’s not a lot of nice people out there, especially not at his college campus. Don’t get Jimin started on all the homophobic and pitiful words that frat boys have thrown at him so far in the span of his first year. And that was when he was wearing his clothes that he believed were seven sizes too big and awfully plain.
His “boy” clothes.
Jimin knows that in today’s society, you’re labeled. Weather you want to be or not, every passing stranger is going to label you as what they see. And with said frat boys, the ones with a single brain cell, if they ever saw Jimin wearing the clothes that he has piled in front of him— he’d fit their accusations.
Jimin was raised by only his mother, who was raised by only her mother and a sister. Jimin has had absolutely no male figure in his life so it’s not bizarre that his demeanor is more feminine than most men.
But people at school aren’t so smart, or nice. Therefore, Jimin isn’t just a boy who was raised by a woman, to them— he was just gay. Jimin hates how his demeanor is what chooses his sexuality. Because, contrary to those frat boys’ belief, Jimin is straight.
He may not know a lot about himself at the ripe age of 21, but he knows for sure that he’s not into men. Being a teen and liking things that the world tells you is for girls definitely made Jimin question his own sexuality time to time, but after a couple nights out at a gay bar and a two extremely awkward hookups, Jimin knew men weren’t up his alley. Especially not when the thought of women is what gets him off every single time.
He just wants to wear a damn skirt and have a girlfriend, is that really so much to ask for?
Daisy was able to sneak her way onto Jimin’s lap, already half asleep despite Jimin’s occasional jolts when he sniffles for air.
“Thank you Daisy,” he whispers, his fading cry turning into a soft giggle when the feline looks up at him, eyes glinting with a look that Jimin knows by now.
“Or are you just being nice to me because you’re hungry?”
Daisy continues to nudge her head against his chest, confirming his accusation and enticing Jimin’s first real giggle.
“Okay,” Jimin says in an exhale, more in an attempt to get ahold of himself. “Fine, let’s get you some food.”
The cat happily jumps off Jimin’s lap at the invitation, hurriedly exiting the bedroom and scurrying off to the kitchen before Jimin can even make it off the ground. When he does, he nearly trips on the mound of hopeless clothes, eyeing it over before trailing his vision to the standing mirror.
His eyes scan over his chest, down to his waist, and to his hips. He loves his shape, loves the way women’s clothing looks on him. It’s too bad no one will be able to appreciate it the way he does, though. It’s too bad he can’t show it off like he so badly wishes to.
Like how you do.
You get to dress in fitted clothing and show off your shape without an intense fear of getting judged or labeled. Jimin despises how blind you are to that advantage. He despises how badly he wishes he could be you for even a day.
Because for Jimin, he has to hide. Whereas for you, you’re allowed to be beautiful whenever you want.
Even on Mondays.
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“What do you think, Daisy? Be honest.”
Peeling his eyes away from his reflection, he twists to show Daisy, who’s freshly awake from a nap, his outfit that he’s in love with.
A grumpy meow is all he gets before her eyes slowly shut again and Jimin scoffs in offense.
“Whatever, you just don’t have taste.”
Turning to face himself again, he bites back a smile as he snaps yet another mirror pic of himself, halting midway as he adjusts himself to sit on his knees. And it’s when the miniskirt rises up his thigh that he gets an idea.
Thigh highs.
A subtle gasp of excitement escapes the boy as he recklessly tosses his phone onto the bed— completely missing which makes him flinch in startle in response to the thud that followed. Navigating to his dresser, he ignores Daisy who clearly did not appreciate the sudden noise, and begins to dig in his scandalous drawer for the thigh high socks.
And yes, Jimin has something he calls his scandalous drawer. It’s for moments like these where he wants to add sex appeal to his outfit.
Kind of like how you do.
“There you are,” he murmurs under his breath as he takes hold of the long white fabrics. He doesn’t wait until he’s back in front of the mirror to put them on, sitting on the edge of his bed and hurriedly slipping the thigh high socks on.
Jimin just knows he looks good. He can feel it. He feels sexy, and he hasn’t even looked in the mirror yet. A miniskirt paired with thigh high socks and an open cardigan— no shirt.
And fuck does he feel good in it.
Not able to wait any longer he tiptoes to the mirror until he’s met with the figure he wishes the world could see.
Jimin loves his appearance, a lot. It’s just that the version he loves is only seen on rare occasions like this where he spontaneously decides to try his risky outfits on. No one else can or will see this version, and for that, Jimin’s self love is private. Almost invisible given how little he lets himself see it.
“Good call on the thigh highs,” he mumbles to himself, staring a little longer until he starts to notice all the imperfections. When he does, he’s quick to step away, landing himself back first onto his unmade bed that Daisy was way too content in.
“Move it, there’s room for both of us,” he tells her as she mopes over to the opposite side.
One hand behind his head, other on his stomach— toying with the ruffled hem of the skirt, Jimin stares at the ceiling as his nightly dose of thoughts kick in. And tonight, all he can really think about is how badly he wishes someone could see him. And if he’s lucky enough, earn a compliment or two. Maybe, if his luck was good, he’d be called pretty if someone saw him dressed like this.
But his luck has never been good.
It was his poor luck that made him be born into a rude and strict society. And he hates that. But what can he do? He’s just a person in this big world. He doesn’t believe his voice is loud enough for change. And even if it were, he’d still be too much of a coward to try.
It’s all one big tangled problem that he’s trapped in.
He’s only a freshman in college and he feels like the world is ending.
But does yours? Jimin wonders. For a long moment or two he ponders if you sometimes feel that way too. Of course it wouldn’t be for the same reason as him, but could there be something that weighs you down?
And if so, how the fuck do you mask it so easily with that bright smile of yours?
Maybe because you’re perfect, Jimin thinks.
So perfect that Jimin is laying on his bed wearing an outfit almost identical to the one you wore today all only because he thought it looked great on you. He wanted to feel great too.
He wanted to feel the way you probably do in such fragile clothing. Leaving absolutely nothing to imagination because that’s how brave you are. Jimin envies that. He wants that.
Bravery, of course— not you.
He wants to be brave enough to show some skin and go the whole day feeling good. Feeling confident and relieved. But that day won’t come, unfortunately. All he has is the privacy of his apartment to feel brave in these clothes.
But even when Jimin is hard on himself, that doesn’t stop him from wanting to just feel good sometimes.
And there’s no better way than this.
Somehow in the mix of his thought spiral his small fingers managed to drag his skirt up the length of his thigh, cold air traveling straight to his exposed tip.
He knew he wasn’t wearing underwear. He did that on purpose. Again, he wanted to feel good.
He wanted to feel sexy.
His fingers slide their way across his left thigh, getting higher and higher until his breathing is hitched and his bottom lip is raw.
But then he stops himself.
Quickly adjusting the skirt, he sits up with a sharp breath.
What was that?
It’s one thing to touch himself, he always does— everyone does. But he will not do such a thing with you fresh in mind. You already have some power over him. He won’t give you this as well. And It doesn’t matter if you know about it or not because he always will.
He already hates that he envies you so much, he will not envy you like this too.
You’re just an annoying, perfect, confident girl who has no idea how lucky she is. Jimin doesn’t envy that part. He just envies your fashion sense. That’s it.
All he needs is some sleep.
Hopefully when he wakes up, not only will his hard on be gone but so will you. Not a single thought of you will be in his mind from this point forward, Jimin declares to himself.
Let’s just hope you don’t find your way into his dreams.
Like always.
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“Nice jacket.”
“You’re not funny.”
A subtle laugh escapes the man, playfully nudging Jimin which causes him to almost fall off the bench.
“Taehyung!” Jimin whines as he regains his balance on the tiny seat, crashing his hips into his friend’s on a mission to knock him down too.
He fails, earning another mischievous laugh from the man.
“Sorry. Now what were you saying you had to tell me?”
Sat in a corner table with Jimin’s one and only friend in their favorite campus cafe, Jimin sets his bag on the table and turns to face him.
“Hello to you too,” he scolds.
A boxy smile is given and before he can greet the fed up boy back he’s already talking.
“Last night,” Jimin begins, brows furrowed in half embarrassment half concentration. “Something weird happened.”
“Did Daisy catch you jerki—“
“Tae!” Jimin cuts him off in a whisper-shout, hoping no bystanders hear his unfiltered words.
“Joking. What happened last night?”
Jimin sighs as he tries to find his thoughts again. He had it all organized in his mind but his friend’s reckless banter has made it all the more scrambled and confusing.
To put it simply, Jimin doesn’t know how to tell his best friend that he thinks his crush made him hard last night.
Ah, yes. Kim Taehyung. His and Jimin’s friendship goes all the way back to freshman year of high school, also known as Jimin’s worse year ever. Endless bullying and his identity crisis at its peak, Jimin was so done with everyone and everything. That’s until one of the most popular boys in school took him under his wing.
Taehyung has been Jimin’s shield for almost five years now, defending him from every derogatory slur and glare from arrogant frat boys. And being a frat boy himself, Taehyung had most, if not all of those arrogant asshole’s respect. And with that being the case, they’d never disrespect Jimin in front of Taehyung.
And it’s nice having at least one friend to help him out, Jimin thinks.
The only underside is that his one friend has no clue about his secret and God only knows if he’d still accept Jimin if he did. And that he’s in the fraternity for fucks sake.
Also that he has a massive crush on you.
That may or may not be another reason Jimin doesn’t like you so much. You have the whole school wrapped around your finger, and unfortunately for Jimin, that includes his best friend.
“Hello? Earth to Jimin,” Taehyung tries to get the older boy’s attention.
Blinking himself back to space, he shakes his head as he discards where he was going with the conversation.
“I forgot.”
“Bullshit.”
“I did,” Jimin rolls his eye, snatching Taehyung’s coffee and taking an obnoxiously big sip to shift the attention away from what he originally had to say.
Taehyung doesn’t believe him, but he respects Jimin enough to not pry.
“Whatever. Just know you can tell me anything.”
“Yeah yeah,” Jimin shakes off.
And he knows that. Taehyung may be friends with all of those terrible guys who’ve made Jimin’s life hell, but he’s still good to him. Believe it or not Jimin has had many other issues that weren’t about his secret, and with each one Taehyung was the one who provided him a shoulder to cry on.
They’re close enough to joke about all the things Jimin gets bullied for. Like his jacket for example, it’s the same one he wears probably three days out of the week. It’s big and ugly but Jimin thinks it’s boyish so he wears it. Anything to hide. The frat boys still give him shit for it, though. But Taehyung loves it, and he thinks the hate it gets is so ridiculous that he himself teases Jimin about it occasionally. And Jimin finds it funny when it’s Taehyung who teases him, because he knows it’s coming from a place of close friendship. Unlike those other frat boys.
But despite how close they are, he knows he can’t talk about his secret, or you with Taehyung. That’s the one part of him he’d like to keep tucked away for as long as he can endure.
“Alright, well I’m gonna get going. I told Johnny I’d meet him at the dorms so we can get a session in before class.”
“Smoking is bad for you,” says Jimin as he rolls his eyes.
“So is sulking, lift your head up Minnie,” Taehyung massages at Jimin’s shoulder for a second or two before he gets up and grabs his stuff.
“I’m not sulking.”
“You’re always sulking,” The younger man teases as Jimin swats his hand off of his shoulder. “We’ll talk later?”
Jimin hums in what Taehyung assumes is agreement, ruffling his hair before making his way over to the door of the cafe. A grumpy Jimin is left behind fixing his hair, gathering his stuff too so he can head to class early.
Nothing beats the stares he gets as many students still, to this day, wonder how on Earth Taehyung is friends with him. It’s fucked up, really, but Jimin is used to it.
He’s used to favoritism in the school, and Jimin groans as he realizes he’ll be seeing more of it for the next hour or so that he’ll be seeing you in class.
But he can’t seem to figure out if he’s more excited to see you than he is annoyed.
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Jimin is furious.
Nothing new, except that this feeling of anger isn’t rooted from jealousy or insecurity— It’s because you rejected his kindness.
Jimin, like many, were eyeing your outfit. It’s dainty and may even be the prettiest shade of baby blue Jimin has ever seen. So when he forced himself to smile your way when you caught him staring, he did not expect an eye roll from you. But nonetheless, it happened, and Jimin hates you a little bit more now.
Jaw clenched and eyes piercing lasers into the big clock on the far wall of the lecture hall, Jimin counts down the seconds until he’s able to free himself from this torturous environment. Until he frees himself from you.
When the clock does hit the desired time, he’s the only student to stand up— earning him several stares which only makes him angrier, and with little to no more patience left he’s walking out the doors on a mission to channel this frustration.
Past the corridor and straight to the art room— also known as the room that’s almost always empty because why is there an art class in a writing school in the first place— Jimin slams his bag down on the first desk he sees and sits himself down.
Why couldn’t you prove him wrong?
Why couldn’t you just have smiled back?
You just had to roll your eyes when Jimin didn’t even like you in the first place. If he had it his way he would’ve snapped profanities the moment your eyes met. But he’s not a monster. He’s polite.
So polite that he smiled your way and now regrets it miserably.
Jimin can’t stand you now.
Grabbing a random notebook from his bag, he does what any angry writing major would do and begins to jot down all the many reasons he hates you, all in the form of scattered thoughts.
Conceited.
Privileged.
Spoiled.
All words that are used quite frequently in his paragraph of scribbled rage.
Beautiful.
Unique.
Mesmerizing.
All words that he hates to admit but must include because they’re the reason he hates you like he does.
Jimin goes on and on for a while writing nothing but blunt absurdities that are simple and cuts straight to the point, majority of them being repetitive I hate you’s. It’s not until he finds himself at the peak of frustration that it all boils down to an ache within him.
Jimin thinks about why you anger him so much. He thinks about that outfit he could’ve worn today if only he wasn’t so scared. Then, Jimin writes down every raw, painful feeling he has.
Why do you have to be so beautiful? Why can’t I be like you? I often wonder if you think about my predicament. I wonder if it ever crosses your mind that I’m even one percent envious of you. When I think about that, it hurts even more.
I wish you knew I was hurting because of you.
You don’t know me well. I hardly know you. But what I’m certain of is that you’re the most beautifully ignorant person I’ve ever come across and I do hope one day you’ll realize how blind you are.
You’re blind to your reality of easiness. It’s not easy for me. I can’t wear that shade that you do. Can’t wear a shirt so low cut like that either. Because for me, I’m expected to dress like someone I’m not.
This isn’t me.
And I think I may hate you most because I see the real me in you. That courageous being who doesn’t even think twice about breaking the rules of my gender; that’s the real me. Although I hate both versions of me because neither of them have helped me out of this suffocating barrier.
I want to be me.
I wish you weren’t you.
I want to be you.
A slam of a period is what concludes the built up momentum, pencil flying across the desk as he slouches back in his chair with an exhale. He skims over the words that are quite dark since he was applying significant pressure. He vaguely reads some words until he’s not in the mood to think about any of it anymore and closes the journal shut.
And although he didn’t reread that essay of his, the last sentence still can’t seem to leave his mind.
Even if it’s just for a moment, he wants to be you.
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Racing down the long hall of the unnecessarily large school, his strides echo off the walls as his heartbeat is ten steps ahead of him.
He should’ve never written that journal, he thinks.
He should’ve never left it in class either.
The passing of two more doors is all it took until he was standing out of breath in the threshold of what he hoped would be an empty classroom, the journal that he was going to grab and go no longer being in the spot he had left it.
His heartbeat almost fails him, legs buckling as his thoughts falter.
He knows it’s you. He knows your figure. He also knows that you’re standing there, reading his journal full of absurd remarks about how he wishes he were you.
Jimin wants to die. He wants it all to just dissipate. But before the boy can erase what he just walked in on, you turn around.
Journal open in your hand, your eyebrows are furrowed and Jimin doesn’t know if he can withstand that look of genuine concern on your face.
He also doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad look.
“I’m not gay,” he helplessly throws his panicked words up.
Slightly less confident, having used up all his energy on those three words, he manages to follow up, “…if that’s what you’re thinking.”
And the giggle that escapes you despite what you just read, the cruel things he wrote about you even though you did absolutely nothing but be beautiful, Jimin notes how badly he’s fucked up.
“It’s not,” you respond, slowly closing the journal, eyes following.
It’s while you’re still looking down that you decide to ask your first question.
“Listen, Jimin,” you bring your eyes up, tone a little too concerned for his liking. “Do you want to talk?”
Talk.
“Those things you wrote, it’s just—“ you stop yourself. “I know you didn’t mean for anyone to read it but from what I saw I think you need someone to help you learn to be kinder to yourself.”
Jimin opens his mouth to talk only to close it when he realizes he doesn’t know how to respond.
“I know it’s none of my business and I’m sorry for reading, but I don’t want you to feel like that. Let me help you.”
Jimin feels like a villain in a movie. He feels like the worst possible character there could ever be. He feels like a bad person. Because there he was all this time, writing about how much he hates you for being you, and here you are now, asking him to accept your help seconds after you just read everything.
The world does not deserve someone like you, he thinks. He does not deserve someone like you.
But as much as he feels unworthy, he’s never been more excited at the opportunity to get to know you. To have you there beside him on this new journey of self love.
“Okay,” he accepts, voice quiet and still embarrassed.
“Okay,” you repeat, smile big and hope at its highest.
Okay.
~~~
a/n: part one of a new seriesss les mf goooo (i missed writing so much omg, hope y’all like this one im vry excited abt it 🥹) ALSO part 2 isn’t as confusing lmao, it’s always difficult to clearly start out a series :/ pero i promise it’ll make more sense along the road :)
🏷️: @exactlygreatcoffee @sweetieguk @ctrlsht @blessrious @someusername133 @dreamer-pjm @zadkielr @dearsullix @lailaaxd @osakis-gf @jnghs @seltansworld @bxnqtxnie @moon-kid39
taglist = open, let me know if you’d like to be added <3
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seokjins-luigi · 1 year
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i hate everything about you | pt. 1 | pjm
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・pairing: ex!jimin x ex!f!reader
・genre: exes to lovers | a lot of angst | a slightly little bit of a love triangle
18+
・word count: 6.7k
・summary: accidentally, you bump into your ex who, mind you, previously cheated on you. so you're 99% sure the only feeling you have left for him is sheer hate. but the 1% leaves you questioning.
・banner: by the amazing @kookdiaries
・A/N: firstly, i want to wish our baby mochi the happiest of birthdays! i really wanted to have something to post on his birthday, since i couldn't do it for any of our other boys this year ):
i also want to say that i'm really happy/surprised with the huge amount of attention the teaser for this fic got! i felt so inspired, thank you all for taking your time to share it and to talk to me about it too !! <3
i hope you enjoy this first part and i promise i won't take too long to put out part 2! here's a playlist for y'all to play as you read it, if you want to hehe also shoutout to the anon who asked for the black haired jimin header back lol this one's for you
as always, thank you to my fave person @primadonnasdream. without her, i would never be able to write any of my stories.
feedback is always appreciated, sweeties 💜
・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn
・taglist: @imluckybitches @bbtsficrecs @minijagiya @jackinthethroat @arckyive @chimchimmarie @bex-92br @rkvi @hoseok666 @joonsytip @callmejimmeo @koreanaestheticc
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There are about eighteen thousand bars in Seoul. You know this because you’ve just googled it. Out of curiosity? Not really. Just because you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that out of all the bars in Seoul, all the eighteen thousand bars in Seoul, Jungkook had to pick the one where your ex is currently working. 
Not to blame it on Jungkook, poor guy. There was no way in hell he could know this and you’re sure that if you told him, he’d be crushed, since, according to him, he’s been trying to muster up the courage to ask you out for months. To be fair, you didn’t even know Jimin had left his partner, Seokjin, and his own bar to start working behind the counter again. Not that it's any of your business, anyway. He can go to hell for all you care, especially after dumping your ass three days before your four year anniversary for some random girl he met on that stupid fucking bar of his.
That fucking stupid bar he clearly didn’t even own anymore. Joke’s on him.
It broke your heart in a way you’re not sure it’s ever going to heal. He meant the world to you, all that butterfly bullshit and everything. When he left you, it felt like your world was falling to pieces. You shared a life, even shared a home. A small apartment near his stupid fucking bar, you were so happy when you two finally moved in together. 
Building intimacy takes time, compromising to someone else’s well being and happiness costs more than only your time. Learning how to share your space, your insecurities, your feelings, your everyday life. That shit takes time. Giving yourself to a person takes more than that. It takes courage. 
You gave all of that and much more to Park Jimin. But you regret doing so with every fiber of your being. Learning to live your life again without having him in it was one of the hardest things you’ve had to do so far.
You had your share of revenge after fucking his best friend, Taehyung, and making sure to tell him about it when you went to your apartment to get his stuff back. If you felt like shit, you had to try to make him feel at least one percent of the heartbreak you had been feeling. After that, you heard that he and Taehyung got into a physical fight and had cut ties. 
It was definitely not a very peaceful break up experience, both of you were extremely proud people and could not stand losing. It took you a great amount of therapy sessions in order to stop dreaming and thinking about him 24/7. 
Do you still believe in love after that? You’re not sure, probably not, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun. Jungkook was a very sweet and flirty distraction in the middle of your heartbreak. Not to mention the guy is hot as fuck, but right now, you swear you could just punch him in the face. 
Because out of all the bars in Seoul, here you are. At the one your fucking nasty ex boyfriend works in. 
As soon as you walked in, you felt something was off with this one. It felt like the universe itself was trying to spare you from this experience. Of course, you didn’t listen to your intuition, especially because Jungkook told you a friend of his has been talking wonders about the drinks from this specific bar. 
Once you looked over at the bar, you saw him. For a split second, you froze. He looked as gorgeous as ever, dark locks obscuring his eyes from where you could see. You didn't allow yourself to feel any type of way with the sight of him, you were over him, you definitely didn't want to go back to the pit where you recently came out of, thank you very much. He was too busy with whatever he was doing at the moment to notice you, fortunately. You just rushed over to Jungkook, locking your arms out of nervousness, leaving him quite giddy about it. 
Did you ask him to leave and look for another place to spend the night? No. 
Should you have done so? Maybe.
But you wouldn't deny yourself the satisfaction of showing Jungkook off to him in the place Jimin works. It didn't matter that only looking at him made you miss him more than words can ever say, you know that he’d feel pissed out of his mind. You’d deal with your feelings some other time.
“Looks nice, huh?” Jungkook asks you with a sweet smile hanging on his pierced lips, bringing you back to planet Earth.
You nod faintly, showing him a warm smile. 
“There's a balcony back there, do you see it?” He asks again, holding your hand now. You weren’t even able to react to Jungkook’s gestures properly, you were too lost in your thoughts about Jimin. “It’s got a very nice view of the city, if anything, we can take some nice photos here. You look hot, by the way”.
“Oh- I- Thanks, Jungkook. You too, by the way”, you tried smirking. “A-Are we getting a table or what?”
You usually don’t get thrown off by his compliments. You love when it happens, of course, but you’re usually good at flirting, you see he gets slightly puzzled as to why would you react like that all of a sudden.  
“Are you okay, Y/n?” He asks you, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb, a little concern can be sensed in his voice tone. 
“Of course! Why do you ask?” You reply, tilting your head a bit, trying to sound convincingly confused. 
You would not simply ruin your date by mentioning your ex boyfriend is the bartender he’s been listening compliments about.  
“Nevermind… Why don’t you go ahead and grab us a spot on the balcony? I’ll do the honors and order our drinks. Any preferences?”
“Surprise me”, you challenge him, squeezing his hand before letting go of it, still trying to hold the confident demeanor he’s used to. 
You head over to the balcony, not really looking over at the bar, trying your best to forget about the fact that Jimin was here and could notice you’re here too at any moment. The most annoying thing about this situation is that you’re feeling too nervous about seeing him. Much more than you should be.
So what Jimin is here? You’re over him, remember? Get your shit together. You’re here with Jungkook, enjoy your date.
You try distracting yourself by scrolling on your social media, not really paying attention to anything in particular, just trying to keep your mind away from Jimin. You can’t really understand why you feel almost shaky, maybe that’s how your body reacts to someone you hate. 
You only had the courage to look into his direction again when you felt Jungkook was coming back to your table, with a warm expression adorning his beautiful features, holding two drinks in his hands. It would have been the beginning of a nice date, if you couldn’t see Jimin’s eyes shooting daggers in your direction from above Jungkook’s shoulder. 
Yes, he’s seen you already. Of course he’s seen you. 
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Naturally, since you noticed Jimin’s eyes on you, you were simply not able to relax. Jungkook was acting like his normal charming self, completely unaware of what was going on inside your head. You simply nodded whenever it felt like he was waiting for a reply from you.
“Why are you nodding? Did you hear what I said?” He asks you, with an embarrassed half smile, making you feel slightly guilty for not giving him the attention he deserves.
Damn you, Park Jimin.
“Sorry, Kook, I zoned out for a second. What was the question again?”
“I said the restrooms here are amazing and that you should see it”, he repeats himself, pointing to the drink in front of you, he continues. “I need to use the toilet again, by the way, do you want another mimosa?”
“Oh, sure. Thanks”, you reply with a gentle smile, the nicest one you could flash at him.
You honestly liked him. He was a very good person, from what you could tell. Unfortunately, you completely lost the focus on this date, maybe it was your fight or flight instincts taking over your thoughts, but the only thing you could think about was Jimin’s burning gaze on you and how badly you wanted to escape.
You were pretty sure you got over him, he’s your past. That’s a fact. He is past, there’s no other way. The idea that he can look at you like you’re doing something wrong by moving on with your life makes you feel livid, that’s all there is to it. 
He’s always had the talent to make everything be about him, but this time around it genuinely pisses you off. This whole situation was actually just a coincidence, he’s the one needing to get over himself.
“So, who’s the idol wannabe?” A voice startles you.
A voice you know all too well.
Following the sound of this voice with your eyes, you contemplate the one and only Park Jimin, the man who cheated on you. The once love of your life. You refuse to allow his presence to affect you in any type of way, though.
“Idol wannabe?” You snort, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “Oh, you mean my date? Wow, Mini, you sound so frustrated when you put it like that… Cause, you know, you’re an ex idol wannabe too”.
“Very funny, babe. Who’s the guy?” He jerks his head in the direction Jungkook went, with an authoritative expression on his face.
Like he had any right to be asking you questions about your life. 
“What’s that, Mini? A public jealousy display?” You figured the best way to deal with him was by not giving him what he wants.
“Isn't that what you wanted bringing him to the place I work?”
“I can’t believe- Why do you think I care about how you feel or don’t feel, Park Jimin-ssi?” You blurt out, trying to keep your composure as much as possible. The last thing you want is to make a scene. “It’s funny that you think I’d give myself the trouble to make you feel jealous. I didn't even know you left The Wave”.
“And you expect me to believe that?” He cocks his brows, eyes not leaving your face. “You're a character, Y/l/n Y/n-ssi”.
“As I’ve stated before, Park Jimin-ssi, I do not care about anything that’s related to you anymore. I’m sorry if my presence here feels like an insult or whatever, but, you know… You should have moved on with your life by now too”, as you spit these words at him, you see his eyes flickering with an indignation he would not be allowed to lash out the way you know he wants to, because, after all, this is where he works. “So, if you excuse me, my date can come back at any second and I have no interest in letting him know you’re my ex”.
He grimaced, not uttering another word. That is so unlike him, it’s funny... and kind of weird. He has quite the explosive demeanor and you know you were kind of harsh to him right now. You almost feel guilty, but then you remember how humiliating it was finding out about his infidelity.
What he made you go through was way worse. 
Placing a Daiquiri glass in front of you on the table, he smirks, but you see his smile does not really meet his eyes, covered by a darker cloak you couldn’t actually explain where it came from. 
“Alright, Y/n-ssi. Here’s your drink”, bowing to you, as he takes his leave. “You’re looking as gorgeous as ever. Good luck with your idol boy”. 
“Jimin-ssi, that’s not really what we ordered”, you raise your voice tone slightly, just so you made sure he could hear you.
“Oh, I know, babe. But we both know you’re not really much of a mimosa woman”, he answers, the irony lying underneath every single one of the words that came out of his mouth, turning to you again. “I know you very well, unlike your date, apparently. Don’t worry, this one’s a little more expensive, so, it’s on me”.
He blinks at you, turning on his heels again, this time around not taking another glance in your direction again, leaving you with an almost bittersweet taste in your mouth, that only goes away when you see Jungkook’s smile getting near you again. 
He sits in front of you again and you honestly don’t understand how you allowed Jimin to get under your skin for even a split second. Jungkook was everything you could ask for a guy to be: stunning, into you and not your complicated ex.
“A daiquiri?” He asks you in a gentle tone, knitting his brows together. “Sorry, I guess the bartender didn't understand what I said”.
“No. It’s fine, I’ve started drinking this one already”, you state.
It’s kind of cute that he paid attention to you to a degree in which he noticed the drink you were having. He’s a sweetheart, but Jimin was right, at the end of the day. You’re not much of a mimosa girl. 
“Don't worry, he’s the one who made the mistake… I’m sure he’ll bring you a new one”, Jungkook turns in what you know is Jimin's direction, with his right arm raised, gesturing for him to come over to your table. Then, he turns back to you, with a sweet smile hanging from his pierced lips. “He’s coming”.
Jungkook calling him over was something you simply didn't expect to happen, you didn't have time to react, to think about something to say or for a reason to stop him. You figured you couldn’t have a very strong reaction here, since for all that matters to your date, this guy is just the bartender, not your ex-boyfriend from a relationship that ended really badly. 
Naturally, it doesn’t take Jimin more than ten seconds to get to you, and knowing Jimin, he would stop anything he was doing so he could come over and be petty, if possible. 
“Can I help you?” You hear his voice, but refuse to turn your head in his direction.
You know he’s looking at you, though.
“We have actually ordered a mimosa, but, maybe there was some confusion, and we ended up getting a daiquiri instead. I was wondering if there’s something we can do about it”, Jungkook had both sides of his mouth turned up in a likeable smile, as he gazed in Jimin’s direction. 
You know Jungkook’s niceness would only piss Jimin off even more. 
“Oh, yes, the daiquiri. There’s no mistake, actually”, Jimin mimics the smile Jungkook flashed at him, but you know his isn't a heartfelt one. “I think it suits her better than a mimosa. Anything else?”
“I’m sorry?” Your date’s brows snapped together and the niceness in his smile dissolved into disbelief. “How did you come to a conclusion about the type of drink she prefers?”
“Oh, believe me, I know it”, Jimin snapped back, in a controlled tone. 
Jungkook’s eyes darted in your direction, kind of looking for some sort of endorsement to what he was saying to Jimin, obviously baffled by the boldness of this guy. He, obviously, didn’t find the same kind of expression on your features. It didn’t take him too long to understand that something was off, in a split second, you saw the realization dawning in his face.
You felt cold to your bones, concentrating on using every single bit of what was left from your self control in order not to run away from this bar and leave both of them bickering over the goddamned daiquiri.
“Well, she seems pleased with your choice of drink”, Jungkook tried, clearing his throat. “Thank you for your service, I guess. Keep up with the good work”.
Jimin bows to Jungkook and then to you. 
The atmosphere Jimin leaves behind is so heavy you can almost touch it, you feel the air weighing all around you and Jungkook, who was focused on playing with the napkins on the right side of your table. You open your mouth, but the words just refuse to leave your lips.
You don't even know how to start. What could you possibly say in a situation like that? Most importantly, would you be able to actually explain anything without bursting into tears in front of Jungkook? Not only did you run into your ex for the first time in almost a year, but also he had to come over and make a scene in front of the guy you were seeing.
It was only your second date with Jungkook, after going out for a very nice dinner, in which the two of you couldn’t stop smiling and laughing at each other’s jokes. If only you two had gone two any other of the eighteen thousand bars in this city, you would have never seen Jimin and you’d also not be feeling this terrible uneasiness in your chest.
“So”, Jungkook breaks the silence, but you see he’s still looking at his hands as if those damn napkins were the most amusing thing in the world. “You apparently know each other”. 
“We do. But honestly, I don’t really want to get onto this, Jungkook. Sorry”, you confess, not really knowing if you’re angry or simply dejected by this encounter.
Jungkook could have also just not mentioned the fact that it was clear you and Jimin have some kind of history. Why do men have to be so clueless all the time? Honestly, it feels like a curse liking men sometimes. The whole situation was so off putting, you truly just wanted to go home, it didn’t matter Jungkook was hot and the nicest guy ever, Jimin was able to kill the mood for you completely.
You see Jungkook is fighting some sort of  internal battle and you feel extremely bad for being the reason behind it.. He had been the sweetest person you had a date with in a very long time. You obviously were not ready to try dating again, Jimin was still all over you, and unfortunately, not only figuratively speaking.
"I'm so sorry for dragging you into this mess", you finally break the silence, making Jungkook look at you again. "I honestly don't feel so good right now…"
"Yeah, I imagined. All I can do is wholeheartedly tell you that it's alright if you wanna go home or something. I don't really know what happened between the two of you, but I can tell something definitely happened", he sympatized and you could tell he was being genuine, not really knowing why, you just saw it in his eyes.
You feel like going home, for sure. Just laying in bed for a couple of hours and crying your eyes out would be the only medicine for this. Maybe, tomorrow after work, you’d need the “best friend plus romantic sad movies combo”, but you’d be alright. Unfortunately, seeing Jimin after this time apart was not as easy as you thought. You just knew that the lump in your throat wouldn't just disappear after installing itself there once again.
Looking deep into Jungkook's eyes, searching for some sort of judgment or resentment, which you do not find, you muster up the strength to be fully honest. If nothing, he deserved it.
"I do want to go, Jungkook", you confess, taking his hand, that rested upon the table, into yours and squeezing it lightly. "I'm really sorry for being a louzy date tonight. I promise I'll try to make it up to you".
"Hey, don't worry…" He says softly. Jungkook squeezes your hand back, but lets go of it and pulls it back, leaving yours hanging on the table by itself. "I have kind of waited a long time to ask you out, but I can wait some more. Date number one was amazing, but we can’t always win. I just want us to have a good time together. I'll let you make it up to me, it's fine".
“I’m really sorry…”
“It’s fine”, he shakes his head, a soft smile hanging loosely on his pierced lips, sounding convincing enough to you. He is genuinely a good person. “But for out next date, you’re the one who should be asking me out. Deal?”
He extends his tattooed hand to you, still beaming at you. 
“Fair enough”, you shake his hand back, feeling a little better for his reassurance. “Deal”.
You must be the most stupid person to ever walk this earth and you know it. Losing your chance with a guy like Jungkook is one of the most ridiculous things you've ever put yourself through. But what can you objectively do? You just ran into your ex and it was awful. You just wanted to cry curled up onto your pillows until you forgot, once again, what the sound of Jimin's voice felt like against your ears. You were in no mood for small talk and flirtation anymore. It was better ending the night like this, than being a statue around him, right? And if he said you could make it up to him later, you could really try to. 
You know that if you weren't feeling this blue, you'd be embarassed as fuck. Maybe, tomorrow, you will. 
Jungkook insists on paying for your drinks, saying that you could pay on the next time. Good to know that he's really counting on a next time and he didn't say it just to be polite before. Fortunately, he doesn't really offer to take you home and you call yourself a car. All you wanted was to be alone with your thoughts for a while.
This whole situation wouldn't be this awful if you didn't feel Jimin's eyes on you the whole fucking time. You knew he was watching the whole scene unravel in front of his eyes with an indescribable delight. 
Indeed, he won this time. But you could only hope that this was the only battle he'd win from now on. You needed to find your way back to yourself. 
And you will, it’ll just take you a little bit of time again.
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The light breeze gently touches your skin, as you feel the warmness of the rising sun delicately kissing your hair. The star emerges from behind the hills, as you stand in front of them, tall and strong, deeply rooted to the depths of the earth.
Suddenly, you hear a very loud noise, sounding like a distant bell. Looking around you, you’re not able to find the source of it. It’s not possible that it’s coming from one of the trees, is it?
You hear it again, this time, longer and more annoyingly depriving you from enjoying this beautiful day out in the meadows.
But then, you realize this is a dream. And as soon as the realization hits you, you wake up. You hate being an occasional lucid dreamer, who wakes up as soon as you notice you’re in a dream. It has prevented you from fulfilling many of your fantasies with your celebrity crushes because you always feel like the scenarios are too good to be true.
Then you hear the unblessed noise that woke you up one more time, noticing it’s been the sound of your doorbell this whole time. Finally finding your phone, after your hands grop on your bedside table looking for it, you see it’s 3:27 in the morning. Why the hell would anyone ring your doorbell in such an ungodly hour? 
Well, a burglar wouldn’t ring the doorbell, right? You reason, trying not to freak the fuck out. 
The doorbell rings one more time, then you hear what seems to be a muffled attempt at verbal communication. Should you go to the door? Should you call the cops? You have no idea. 
It could be one of your neighbors looking for help. What if it was an emergency?
“Mrs. Hong? Is that you?” You blurted, voice a bit shaky from the anticipation. 
You hear another muffled response, not really understanding anything this person is saying, but you know it definitely isn’t Mrs. Hong. 
Fuck, Y/n, are you stupid? Whoever this is, now they know you’re inside!
You feel your whole body starting to tremble, heartbeat racing as the worst images possible flash through your mind. You want to go back to your bedroom, call the cops and hide under your bed until someone comes to save you from whoever is this weirdo at your doorstep. The sound of your parents’ voice saying you were crazy for moving out of their house to live by yourself echo through your brain and you can feel the tears start brewing in the corners of your eyes when you’re able to distinguish a word from the muffled bumbling from outside your door.
You are positive you heard the person finishing their sentence with a “babe”. Instantly, you feel a warm wave of relaxation invading your body, in contrast with the uneasy feeling you had a minute ago. You know exactly who it is on the other side of your door. Looking at the peephole, you find the exact person you expected to see leaning against your door frame. Park Jimin. A very, very drunk Park Jimin, from what you can see.
Your hand goes straight to the door handle, opening the door with a blunt movement. When he realizes what’s happening, his eyes land on yours and you see them turning into the shapes of small crescent moons, as a smile rests on his plumpy lips. 
“You almost gave me a fucking heart attack, Jimin-ssi! What the fuck are you doing here?” you bark, watching the smile disappear from his face. 
“Sorry, I swear I didn’t mean to scare you! I just want to talk to you and if I’m here, it’s your fault! I could have just called, but you fucking blocked me everywhere”, he pants in a high pitched voice, one he uses when he’s allowing his irritating to take control over him. 
“It’s almost four in the morning… You’re clearly drunk… I really don’t want to do this, Jimin”, you state, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Please, get the fuck out of here before you disturb my neighbors too”.  
Slamming the door on his face, you turn on your heels towards your bedroom, but before you’re able to walk four steps in its direction, Jimin’s voice can be heard from the inside again. Only this time, he didn’t have his face buried on your door and he was shouting in front of your house.
“Y/n-ssi! I just want to talk to you, pleaseee”, and the there was a knock on your door. “Y/n-ssi! Let me in, Y/n-ssi!”
You feel your blood boiling like magma in your veins, knowing you gave him the perfect weapon to use against you when you mentioned your neighbors. He knows you wouldn’t want these people to talk about you, to talk about the guy who was making a fuss by yelling your name for the whole street to hear in front of your house. You know him and you know that he knows how he plays his games, even when he’s drunk. In a blunt movement, you open the door and grab Jimin by his coat, this time, dragging him inside. 
For a second, the two of you just stare at each other. Due to the closeness, you’re able to sense the scent of his cologne, the musky one you gave him on the last Valentine’s day the two of you have spent as a couple. You hate him even more for not getting rid of what’s left of you in him. 
“You wanted to talk, didn’t you? So, talk!” You hiss, crossing your arms in front of your chest, feeling the need to break the silence before you did something you’d end up regretting.
He blinks, clearly still mesmerized by the fact that his lousy strategy to get you to do what he wanted worked. 
“I saw you left not even five minutes later from that… Well, awkward moment”, he wiggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly as he speaks. “You got yourself a nice suitor, huh?”
“The moment was awkward all thanks to you!” You fumed, unconsciously raising your pointer finger in his direction. “You asshole!”
“Why am I the asshole here? I just told him the truth!” He stated emphatically, with a flicker in his eyes you were just not able to identify precisely.
You were able to smell the alcohol in his breath, due to the closeness, and you felt even more disgusted to be in his presence.
“After cheating on me, you think you have the right to come back and interfere in my love life?” You whisper, angrily. It feels like the temperature in your house is rising, but you know it’s just your anger making you feel hot on the inside. “What did I do to you, Jimin-ssi? Why do you feel like destroying my life every chance you get? Just leave me alone!” 
You see your words have an effect on him and whatever he was about to say, you feel like your words have just stopped him from going on. He sighs loudly and when you were about to kick him out of your house, he starts again.
“Who… Who is he, babe?” He looked down as the question finally left his lips. 
You almost missed him, his arms around you, his voice whispering soft words in your ears. You almost allow his vulnerable demeanor to get to you.
Almost, but you know better.
Sighing, just like he did seconds ago, you voiced.
“Why do you even care, Jimin? You have nothing to do with my life anymore, you know?” You run your hands through your hair, nervously, looking away from him for a second. “As I’ve told you earlier today, you should’ve moved on by now, after all, you were the one who chatead. Own up to your mistakes, dear, you’re a grown ass man. And stop calling me babe!”
He looks at you, wide eyed after you snap at him. The fact that after all these months without seeing him, you were finally able to say everything you wanted to say to his face brought you some sort of relief. 
“When I saw you today, after all the time we’ve been apart, I realized that's the problem… I have nothing to do with your life anymore. I miss you, Y/n”.
It's so hard to hear him saying those things. Mostly, because, deep down you know you miss him too. It hurts so bad to know that you can never have him back, despite loving him. You'd never be able to truly let go of what he did to you. Acknowledging it was the hardest part, it felt like the lump in your throat just got bigger. 
“You can't change that unless you have a time machine”, you said under your breath, more to yourself than to him.
“I can't believe he took this away from me too… Fuck…", he snorts, rubbing his face harshly with both of his hands.”
“What are you trying to say? Who is he?", you ask him impatiently. You would not have him just throwing crazy and riddled information at you at this point. "Are you talking about Taehyung?
“No. It's not about Taehyung. Nevermind", his eyelids drop as he mumbles.
“Really? Is that how shit’s gonna go down? You come to my house to pester me in the middle of the night like you had the right to still be in my life after what you did? And you talk in riddles, like, if there's something I still need to know, now's the only time!” You stop, trying to find the right words to try to get to him as much as he did to you. He didn't move, his eyes were still closed as you spoke. As he made no move, you felt like you could continue. “You know what’s funny, though? I guess if things had worked out with miss thing, you wouldn’t be here right now. So, thank you for showing me you’re just a lonely piece of shit. It's good to know you're in pain too”. 
“You still have no idea, do you?” He snorts, mouth agape as he eyed you.
“Oh well, I don't know if I do. Please, enlighten me, Jimin-ssi. Did the illuminati make you cheat on me or something?"” Scorn spewing out of your words.
He looks at you once more, his eyes burning with longing. It just made your blood boil even more inside of your veins.
“I’m sorry, Y/n. I can’t even say how all of that broke my heart in, like, one million pieces”, he whimpered lowly, his head down as the words left his lips, not really entertaining your mockery.
You snort. 
“How all of that broke your heart? Have you considered that if you had not cheated, we’d still be together? Have you thought about how all of that broke my heart?” You poke him angrily on his chest, feeling the unwelcome misery settling once more in your chest once you heard Jimin’s words. “It was all your fault, Jimin! If we’re not together right now, it's your fault! You broke my heart!”
You vomit all those words at him, holding back the years with every single bit of strength left in you. His eyes travel up to meet yours as you spoke, Jimin’s features are clouded by something you can’t quite name. Is it regret? It must be, it’s the only thing that makes sense. Maybe he’s genuinely sad about it too, but it honestly doesn’t matter. Or maybe there was really something he was trying to tell. 
Whatever it is, hee deserves to deal with it on his own. You don’t have to allow him to drag you back to the hole of pain you were able to come out of, very recently, by the way.
“You’re right, Y/n-ssi. It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have come here, I don’t know what I was thinking.” He sighs, running his hands through his dark locks that fell to the sides, looking partially messed, in a very attractive way. “Again, I’m sorry. For everything. Maybe, someday-”.
“Yeah, sure. It doesn’t matter anymore”, you cut him short. You just can’t do this anymore, you can’t listen to him whining. Not without bursting into tears and you definitely didn't want to cry in front of him. 
On the other hand, the attraction you feel for him, right now, standing before your front door, his features barely lit by the only source of light coming from your bedroom behind you. You hate him for still looking great, for still messing with you, for still being the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. You hate yourself too for feeling like that about him, after all this time.
“Is… This guy. Is he nice to you?” He breaks the silence, his voice as soft as feather touch against your ears.
“He’s just a guy, Jimin. But just stop… Stop asking”, you mutter. “Please, just go”.
He nods, still gazing at you with his magnetic dark eyes.
“I hope you know this”, he points to himself and to you, as he jerks his head in your direction. “Us. Me being here. It means I still have very strong feelings for you. Very strong feelings I can’t control, I guess”.
“I don’t wanna know, Jimin-ssi. Really”.
“I’m sorry, but by the way you still look at me… I’m sure there's still something there. Maybe you’ve done a nice job locking it away, but I know it’s still there”.
“I don’t-”, you stop yourself, and turn to him with a louder tone. “Just fucking go!”
The control you had over yourself so far was gone, you just want him out of your sight. Hopefully, out of your mind too.
When it finally seemed like he was ready to leave, he turned to you once more, gazing intensely into your eyes. Before you had the chance to tell him the get the fuck out for the last time, he had his arms around your waist and his lips found yours; hungrily. 
His kiss was exactly the way you remembered. Intense. Passionate. Breathtaking. Right. It just felt like home. His tongue pursues yours in a fervent twirl and your tongue corresponds in the same intensity. His hand travels upwards, resting on the nape of your neck, spreading a pleasurable warm sensation where it touched. 
He pins you up against the wall, his lips not leaving yours for a split second. He pressed his body against yours and you wrapped your arms around his neck, enclosing any space that could be left between your body and his. He felt so warm against you and the way his touch felt against your skin made it impossible for your brain to think about anything other than the right now and how much you longed for him.
“I’ve missed this”, he said softly, his plumpy lips against yours. “So much”.
He presses his lips against yours once more, but now you realize you can taste the soju on his tongue. Then, you come to your senses.
You’re missing your drunk ex-boyfriend in the middle of the night. This is the man who cheated on you. The man who made a fool out of you and didn’t give a fuck about your feelings. You swore you wouldn't allow him to touch ever again. Here you are, breaking your own promise. Worse part is, maybe he won’t even remember anything that was said or done when we wakes up tomorrow.
In an instinctive impulse, you push him as hard as you can, trying to create as much distance as possible from Jimin. You don't face him long enough to know what happens to him, besides the confused look on his face after forcing him away from you.
“Jimin-ssi… Just get the fuck out of my house”, you start babbling, but trying to control the wobbliness in your voice. 
You hate yourself for being so weak, all it took him was a kiss and you almost dropped all the defenses you’d worked so hard to build up.
“Y/n, just hear me out, please… I wanna tell you everything”, he cried out, his somewhat wobbly voice coming from behind you.
“Jimin, please!” You murmur, imploring. “Just leave me alone.
And there was silence. It felt like time had stopped, you just focused on not allowing the weight on your chest to take over you. You don’t know how long it takes, but you hear your front door being slammed, then all you could do was allow yourself the tears you were holding back to roll down your cheeks in an attempt to release this pain from your chest.
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part 2
610 notes · View notes
darkjimxn · 6 months
Text
Chapter 2: Busted [M]
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Summary: “A manwhore and a junkie… it’s a match made in heaven.”
Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader
Genre: High School au, angst
Word Count: 8.9k
Warnings: 18+, substance use disorder/drug addiction, PTSD, child abuse, sexual content (not explicit), additional warnings might be added as story progresses
A/N: Sorry for taking forever to update, a lack of motivation and school are to blame :( On another note, thanks for that anon's kind words, comments like that really help to keep me motivated!
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Jimin lurched upright as the sound of the door shuddering violently reverated around the room, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. For a fleeting moment, he was back in his childhood bedroom, watching his door be slammed against repeatedly while his father let out a string of threats from behind the wooden structure. 
But instead of his father bursting into the room, it was Taehyung, who looked exhausted and distressed. 
“Party’s over, get out,” he announced, pausing when he noticed who was sitting up on the bed, “oh, it’s just you.”
Taehyung looked into the hallway for a moment, shouting at someone to hurry up, before poking his head back into the room, “are you staying over? My parents won’t mind, you already know they love you more than me.”
Jimin chuckled, trying to mask his erratic heartbeat, “they won’t mind me, but what about her?”
Their gazes both dropped on you, who was still sleeping peacefully beside Jimin under the soft covers of the bed. He found it funny how Taehyung’s incessant banging hadn’t even caused you to stir in your spot. 
“Yeah no, definitely not. She needs to go.”
Jimin nodded, expecting as much, “I guess I can stay over tonight, just let me wake her up.”
“Great!” Taehyung declared, clapping his hands together, “but when you’re done that, sleep in the second bedroom, not this one. My parents would kill me if they thought I made you sleep in some random guest room.”
“Because I have parents!” He raised his voice suddenly so everyone rushing in the hallways could hear him, “I’m not one of those frat boys whose parents go on week-long business trips! Mine will be back in a few hours from a date, so everyone get out of my house!”
After watching Taehyung scurry back into the halls, Jimin turned towards your sleeping form. 
You were completely passed out as you laid on the mattress with the comforter covering half your face and a pillow fixed snuggly between your arms. The part of your face that Jimin could see was puffy from the few hours of sleep the two of you had managed. 
“Y/N?” He tried, repeating your name a few times. 
But the most you did was shift in your position, and even that had been at his last repeat of your name. With a sigh, Jimin shuffled closer to you, letting his hand rest on your bare arm tentatively while he called your name once again. 
It was only when he shook your arm when you finally shifted, “hm?”
“The party’s over, you have to go kitten,” Jimin answered. He felt you slipping back to sleep, causing him to catch your arm and pull you into a sitting position. 
The change in posture had you blinking lazily as Jimin’s figure appeared before you, top exposed and sitting up in the bed the two of you had apparently spent the night in. His orange hair was sticking out in multiple directions while his eyes were slightly squinted due to his sleepy form. 
The party’s over…
Party? Yes, party… there had been a party and then you and Jimin had sex and then the two of you had fallen asleep. 
Reluctantly, you turned to take in the rest of the room, which was still dark aside from the bedside table lamps and a sliver of moonlight which had escaped through the window. If the moon was still out, then that meant the two of you must have only slept for a few hours. 
“Hey,” Jimin spoke up after a couple of seconds, noticing your groggy form, “you good?”
You blinked a couple of times cluelessly, wishing instead to just burrow back into the sheets and sleep for days. Your body felt like an anchor: heavy and unwilling to move until a sturdy metal chain was ready to drag you out of the bed. 
“Did you come here alone?” He asked when you didn’t answer, assessing your state carefully. Your nod came after a few moments too long as your mind struggled to process his question. 
That made Jimin’s eyebrows furrow, “okay, I’ll take you home. It’s still pretty late in the night and I don’t think you can drive in this state.”
With that said, he pushed himself out of bed, the blanket falling to the floor to reveal his toned back as he began throwing on his clothes. It wasn’t until he was pulling his shirt over his head when you forced yourself to stumble to your feet and do the same. 
-
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The cool air felt fresh against your skin as the two of you walked along the road quietly side by side. It had taken Jimin forever to get your address and car keys in order to drive you home, but once he had parked your car in front of your house, he only needed one look at the abnormally long distance between the separate driveway and the front door to decide that your exhausted form wouldn’t last two steps without him. 
Your house wasn’t like most, slotted between a row of other houses to form a crowded and organised community. Rather it was located far away from any neighbourhoods, and instead nestled between large acres of grassy land. Jimin would’ve guessed it was farmland, but in the dark he found it hard to make out any crops or barns with animals, so he couldn’t say for sure. 
That led to the two of you walking along a dirt-packed footpath, with Jimin keeping a firm hand on your arm to make sure you wouldn’t fall from exhaustion. It still irked him as to how you could still be so tired even now. Sure, you weren’t exactly running on a full night’s sleep, but the few hours you had managed should have been enough to ensure you weren’t a walking zombie. 
“Was it the sex?” He finally asked, “How can you be this tired?”
Even in your exhausted state you still managed to shoot him a withering glare. 
“If you had just let me take the Adderall earlier, I wouldn’t be like this.”
Jimin’s expression fell quickly, a sinking feeling in his stomach, “why? You don’t need it.”
“How would you know? I have a prescription,” you lied smoothly, “do you not believe in mental health, Park Jimin?”
You tried to remember what Adderall was actually used for to really sell your lie, but your mind was much too hazy to manage that level of thinking.
An amused scoff escaped Jimin’s lips, “really? What do you take it for?”
You almost groaned out loud as you went back to racking your brain. BPD? ASPD? IBD? Ugh, why did so many disorders exist in the first place?
“It doesn’t matter,” you finally huffed, giving up on the ability of your thoughts, “I don’t owe you my medical history anywa-”
Before you could finish your sentence, a pebble caught between the edge of your shoe and the dirt-packed ground, causing you to stumble. With how sluggish you felt, your face would have gotten some serious reshaping if it wasn’t for Jimin’s hand that kept you steady,
“The bottle didn’t have a prescription label with your name on it,” Jimin said, pulling you up, “you don’t have to lie to me.”
That made you groan, “if you’re going to tell me about the dangers of drugs and how I’m going to die alone I don’t want to hear it. I have no energy to deal with that right now.”
But to your surprise he didn’t say anything, even after the two of you had arrived at your front door. Instead, Jimin turned towards you, an unreadable expression evident on his face. Or maybe you were just too tired to make out the meaning of his facial features.
For a brief moment, his lips parted, hinting at an unspoken thought he might have wanted to express. But after a moment of silence, he ultimately closed his mouth, choosing instead to look away.
“Sleep tight, kitten,” he said finally, turning around and making his way back to the car without another glance, “I’ll see you on Monday.”
You watched him drive off, much too tired to think any more of the recent events. 
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The next morning the shrill sound of your alarm was quick to spring to life, causing you to groan irritably. You slammed a pillow over your ear in a desperate attempt to block out the deafening noise, hoping that it would at least be enough to get you a few more seconds of sleep, but the soft barrier couldn’t do much to dampen the piercing screech. Frustrated, you threw the pillow off of you, letting it’s useless form fall to the floor. 
With the pillow gone, the first thing that hit you was the sunlight. It travelled into the room through your window, setting fire to your surroundings as if someone had accidentally brought the sun in here. It was too bright. Everything was too bright and too loud and too hot. 
Wishing for some semblance of peace, you finally turned towards your bedside table to pick up your phone and shut off the annoyingly loud alarm. It felt a little better, but it wasn’t enough. The sunlight was still so bright it hurt your eyes, while your body still felt heavy. And you were hungry too. So hungry you felt like you could eat a whole cow if you were given the chance. 
“God Adderall crash is such a pain,” you whined as you turned towards your bedside table and began rummaging through the drawers. You pushed past safety pins, hair ties, hairbrushes, some old papers…
Your eyebrows furrowed as you continued searching, but ultimately failed to produce a small white bottle that was your salvation at the moment. You just got a new bottle from Yoongi, where could it be?
You forced yourself to recount yesterday's events, ignoring your rumbling stomach and sore arms. The bottle had been in your pocket as you were leaving school, so it couldn’t still be there. Then you attended Taehyung’s party where you drank some beer and failed to find some drugs, so instead you had sex with Jimin-
You flopped back into your bed as the realisation came crashing down on you. Jimin. Park Jimin had taken your bottle and thrown it away. Your last tiny bottle of Adderall was now in a trash can in Taehyung’s house. 
Your body suddenly felt ten times heavier at the thought. The last time you were out of Adderall, you had to go through a week of fatigue, headaches, and an intense desire to eat everything in sight. You could not go through that again.
With newfound determination, you stumbled out of your room and down the stairs to enter the kitchen. Your goal had been to search the cabinets for some Adderall you might have stashed in the past for later, but the sight of the fridge had derailed that goal. You couldn’t help but grab yesterday’s leftover noodles and shovel them into your mouth as you simultaneously began searching the cabinets. You had to have at least one stash hidden somewhere in the house. 
Though the more you rummaged through the cabinets, the more frustrated you were becoming. They were filled with nothing but decade old spices and some granola bars you couldn’t help but eat alongside your noodles. 
Ultimately you huffed in frustration as you shut the last cabinet and collapsed onto the floor of the kitchen, still no Adderall in hand. Yoongi couldn’t contact you until the police were off his back and you didn’t have any other dealer you could go to. It had already taken you so long to find someone as trustworthy as him. What were you going to do?
Could you get your bottle back from Taehyung’s house? There’s no way that rich kid with a bunch of maids wouldn’t have already replaced all the trash cans in his house, and there’s no way you’d find your small white bottle in all that trash after a party. 
You munched on one of the granola bars as you tried to figure out some other solution to your problem, but with your mind going through withdrawal, it was pretty much useless. There was no hope.
As you sat tiredly on the kitchen floor, biting at your granola bar and finishing up the noodles, your gaze suddenly caught onto a flash of white near your fridge. Confused, you scooted closer to it.
Your eyes widened in excitement as you noticed a small white bottle wedged between the bottom of the fridge and the counter. You knew it. You knew there had to have been one bottle left.
But as you grabbed at the small container, it became apparent even to your unfocused mind that the bottle of Adderall was completely empty. Not even one pill for you to at least get through the day. 
Tired, still hungry, and mind foggier than ever, you just wanted to burrow back into your bed and sleep for the rest of the week. And you were about to do just that until the sound of the kitchen door slamming shut behind you caused you to flinch. 
“Y/N?”
The mind that was struggling to form even one thought suddenly froze altogether at the familiar voice. Eyes wide and bottle in hand, you slowly turned to find your father standing near the kitchen’s doorway. There was a white plastic shopping bag hanging from his hand as he first scanned your form on the kitchen floor, the granola bar wrappers on the dining table…
And then the empty bottle of Adderall in your hand.
Crap.
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When Jimin thought of therapy, the first thing that usually came to mind was a minimalist living room with two neutral-coloured sofas, a matching coffee table, and an intrusive woman that was hell bent on finding out ‘how he feels.’
The sofas and coffee table were definitely no stereotype, confirmed by the beige couch he was sitting on now and the glass coffee table standing right before him. 
The intrusive woman, on the other hand, remained yet to be seen. 
Jimin’s gaze jumped around the room anxiously as his arms leaned against his knees, taking in the tall bookshelf that he assumed was filled with self help books, an abstract painting filled with strokes of blue, black, and white, and a window displaying the vast view of the city’s many buildings. 
He had been so preoccupied with scanning the window that the sudden sound of the door opening made him flinch. His head snapped towards the door behind him, revealing a woman in her late twenties walking into the room. She was dressed professionally, with a simple white blouse tucked into black dress pants, while her straight brown hair flowed freely beneath her shoulders. 
“Hello Jimin,” she greeted with a smile when she noticed his seated form, “you’re early. That’s good.”
Jimin greeted her back politely as he watched her take a seat on the identical sofa in front of him. Her sudden entrance had only increased the anxiety he felt towards the fact that he couldn’t see the door. If someone else were to walk through it quietly enough, he wouldn’t even know. Anyone could just sneak up on him just like that…
“I’m sorry,” he finally spoke up, unable to contain his anxiety much more, “could we- um, switch seats?”
Instead of confusion, there was only understanding apparent on the woman’s face, “of course.”
He thanked her as they changed seats. With both the window and the door in his sights he felt a little less anxious. 
Once everything had been settled, the woman gave him a warm smile, “my name is Lauren, and I will be your therapist for the duration of your sessions.”
“How long is this going to take?” Jimin couldn’t help but ask. He didn’t want to be rude, he knew Lauren was only doing her job, but for some reason her presence made him anxious. He felt like she could see through him and reveal every part of himself he’d much rather stay hidden. 
“This, as well as your future sessions, will be around fifty to sixty minutes long. During this time, we will be focusing on your feelings in reaction to the traumatic event, but we won’t be focusing on that too much today since I’ll be doing most of the talking.”
Lauren held up a binder that was sitting on her lap,“I’ll have your treatment manual in my lap and will be referring to it throughout our sessions to ensure I deliver the psychotherapy as it was prescribed. Please don’t hesitate to ask questions as the session unfolds.”
Jimin simply nodded, eyeing the beige pendulum wall clock that had barely moved since she had walked into the room. Seeing as only a minute or two had gone by, he knew this was going to be the longest hour of his life. 
Oblivious to his apprehension, Lauren began to give him an overview of what would normally go on in their sessions before she explained the outline of their current session. It wasn’t until she had moved onto a different topic when Jimin’s straying attention was caught once again. 
“According to your CAPS score, you met diagnostic criteria for PTSD, which is a mental health condition that often develops after experiencing a distressing event. PTSD is characterised by three clusters of symptoms: re-experiencing, avoidance and numbing, and hyperarousal. Could you give me some examples of symptoms you experience that would fall under any of these clusters?
There was a moment of silence as Jimin shifted uncomfortably, “I get frequent nightmares- that would fall under re-experiencing. And last night, for a moment, I thought I was back in my childhood room and my dad was banging against the door. Sort of like a mini flashback.”
Lauren nodded, encouraging him to continue.
“For avoidance and numbing… I try to avoid thinking or talking about what happened altogether. I also kind of feel detached from others, but I couldn’t really explain that in detail even if you asked me to.”
“As for hyperarousal symptoms…” Jimin paused, “Taehyung always tells me I keep my guard up a lot. I’ve also noticed that small things tend to startle me as well.”
Lauren nodded, “re-experiencing symptoms, like your nightmares, are related to hyperarousal symptoms, like your hypervigilance. Both of these symptoms usually elicit a desire to either avoid, become numb, or both. Ironically, trying to avoid or numb your feelings ends up maintaining, or even increasing, your PTSD symptoms. Which is why the more you avoid or numb, the worse your condition gets. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, I guess,” he responded, eyeing the clock once again as her words flew over his head..
“Everyone has existing beliefs that encompass how they see themselves, others and the world. When these beliefs are challenged by things like traumatic events, people respond in different ways. Some might change their perception of the event to make sense of it and essentially blend it into their existing beliefs. This is a process called ‘assimilation.’ Another reaction can involve a process called ‘overaccommodation,’ which involves an individual drastically changing their entire belief system to make the traumatic event fit. Trauma usually affects various areas of beliefs, including safety, trust, power or control, esteem, and intimacy.”
“Another important thing to note is that if someone already had negative beliefs about these aspects before the traumatic event, the event could further reinforce those negative beliefs. Make sense?”
Jimin simply nodded, not entirely understanding much of what she was saying; he just wanted the session to be over with faster. It felt like his brain was going to explode with all the new information that was being thrown at him and his distaste only grew when she asked him to describe his upbringing. 
Even though he knew talking was all therapy was about, he really didn’t want to talk about his crappy past. He’s done a great job of pretending it didn’t exist up until now. 
“My dad did drugs all throughout my life,” Jimin forced himself to say, reminding himself that he had to at least give this thing a try if he wanted to get better, “ they were really hard ones too. They would make him have these hallucinations where he was convinced my mom was cheating on him, or that she and I were planning his downfall or something.”
“Because of that he used to beat my mom a lot, so badly she’d end up in the hospital sometimes. He tried to beat me too, to ‘teach me a lesson,’ but my mom would always protect me by diverting his attention onto her. She did that for the first seven years of my life before she decided that she’d had enough of being my human shield and ran away. My dad’s drug use got ten times worse after that, and with no one to stop him, he began beating me instead.”
Jimin’s gaze dropped to his fidgety hands, “I wonder if my mom left because she had gotten sick of raising me as well. I guess I was a little hyper for my age, maybe if I had been a more quiet and obedient kid she would’ve taken me with her when she left.”
He noticed Lauren write something down in her binder, but decided not to voice his curiosity. When she finished, she looked up at him with sympathy evident in her eyes. 
“I’m sorry you had to go through that Jimin, you didn’t deserve what your father did to you all those years.”
Jimin merely shrugged, though his gaze wouldn’t meet hers. 
“Many people experience traumatic events in their lives, but not everyone develops chronic PTSD symptoms. This is because of a concept commonly known as ‘stuck points.’ Stuck points refer to certain ways of thinking about trauma and about oneself, others, and the world that act as barriers to healing and moving forward. These patterns of thought basically keep a person ‘stuck’ in their distress and contribute to the persistence of PTSD symptoms. This is why the main goal of these therapy sessions will be to figure out what prevented your recovery.”
“But in order to achieve this goal, we’ll have to explore your trauma. Could you provide a five minute account of the traumatic event you experienced?”
That made Jimin scoff, “I got beat up several times a month for years. How am I supposed to pick one?”
“Which of those events do you think about the most? Which event do you dislike thinking about the most? Remember it doesn’t need to be detailed, just a brief overview of what happened.”
Jimin’s dread intensified as his restlessness only increased. But the session was close to ending soon. The faster he got this over with, the faster he could leave. 
“I get the most nightmares about the night my dad died,” he recounted emotionlessly, the pace of his words quickening, “I was in my bedroom with my girlfriend when my dad suddenly started banging against the door. I let him in, but realised he was hallucinating some insane story which made him hurt my girlfriend. I ended up taking a bat to his head which eventually killed him.”
“You did a great job sharing that with me,” she praised, “how do you feel after sharing that memory?”
“Like I want to leave,” he said honestly. 
Instead of taking offence, Lauren simply nodded in understanding. 
“‘Natural’ emotions are feelings that are proportionate reactions to experiences that have occurred. For example, if we’re placed in a dangerous situation, it’s natural to feel fear. The diminishing course of these emotions means that allowing ourselves to feel these natural emotions will eventually cause them to naturally dissipate. ‘Manufactured’ emotions, on the other hand, are emotions that we contribute in making through the frequency of certain thoughts. For example, if a person tells himself he’s ugly again and again, he will likely feel more and more anger towards himself. This is why another goal of therapy will be to figure out how you have been manufacturing emotions that are unhelpful to you.”
“So to summarise, the three major goals of therapy will be to, one, remember and accept what happened by not avoiding those memories and associated feelings. Two, to allow yourself to feel your natural emotions so that the memory can be put away without such strong feelings still attached. And, three, to balance beliefs that had been disrupted or reinforced so that you can stop manufacturing unhelpful emotions.”
The mention of ‘feeling his emotions’ made Jimin want to crawl out of his own skin. 
Lauren then put up a strong case for how important it would be for Jimin to do the out-of-session practice she’d be assigning him at the end of every session, emphasising that not doing those assignments would mean that Jimin would only be spending 1-2 out of 168 hours a week on his recovery, and that doing the assignments would help him reduce his inclination towards avoidance. His nods felt automatic as his gaze stayed fixed to the wall clock, urging its hands to move faster. Recounting his past had left him jittery and all he wanted to do now was lock himself in his room, away from the world and especially away from the therapy that he was disliking more and more every minute. 
But seemingly satisfied with his response, Lauren handed him a worksheet anyway, “your first assignment will be to write an Impact Statement about the meaning of the event you recounted today. This is not a trauma account. Rather, it’s simply designed to get behind the meaning of the event in your life and how it impacted your belief systems.”
He took a look at the worksheet, seeing that it only reiterated what Lauren had said to write in more detail, before hesitantly taking it from her outstretched hand. The two of them then exchanged a few pleasantries as he rushed through the doorway. 
Jimin couldn’t seem to run out of that place fast enough. 
-
-
-
Your muscles stayed frozen as your father continued to stand in the doorway of the kitchen, glare directed towards the white bottle in your hand. You couldn’t believe you had completely forgotten that he was coming home today, your mind too occupied with finding a solution to your current Adderall predicament, and now here he was catching you in the kitchen with an empty bottle of Adderall in your hand. 
You were so screwed.
Your father finally walked deeper into the kitchen before snatching the bottle from your fingers and inspecting it thoroughly.
“Is this what I think it is?”
“Listen dad, I completely forgot you were coming home tod-”
“We had a deal, Y/N,” he interrupted, crossing his arms, “what do you have to say for yourself?”
You pursed your lips, unable to put up any defence. He seemed to study your form in silence as you pushed yourself off the floor and opted to lean against the dining table instead, still much too tired to even stand on your own. Whatever he saw must have been pathetic enough for him to simply sigh instead of scold your ears off. 
“Forget it,” he huffed before turning around and making his way towards the porch. 
“Come on, I brought some food.”
-
-
“God, you know I hate the smell of weed dad,” you whined, waving a hand under your nose like it would do anything to dampen the putrid smell. 
The two of you sat on the porch overlooking the vast acres of land that surrounded your house comfortably, making use of the white plastic table and chairs that were at least a decade old. Usually you would appreciate the beauty of the view, with its luscious green grass, bright blue sky, and fresh airy breeze that were completely absent in the city. 
Today though you were miserable with withdrawal, so the green grass and blue sky were much too bright for your eyes, and the fresh air was obscured by the smoke coming out of the fat blunt between your father’s fingers. 
“I already told you the smell goes away after a few minutes,” your dad responded, “here, take some. It’ll help you feel less crappy during your Adderall Crash.”
Normally you would decline. You weren’t a fan of smoking, even if it was weed, since it always made you cough your lungs out. But with your current Adderall withdrawal and the prospect of having to feel this way for the next week looming over your head, you uncharacteristically accepted your father’s blunt before taking a long drag of the thing. 
Just like always, you had to cough it out for a moment.
“Ah, I feel like I’ve failed you as a father for not teaching you how to smoke properly.”
“Most fathers wouldn’t let their kids near this stuff in the first place,” you deadpanned. 
Your father was much too high at that point to take any offence to that and instead laughed. 
“So,” you began, wanting to change the subject, “how was work?”
He took a moment to answer, “work’s work. I drive a giant truck here and then I drive a giant truck there. Drove a little farther away than usual yesterday. The view was incredible, like something straight out of Narnia”
You nodded, beginning to feel your mind and body relax from the drag you had taken earlier. You watched your father open the white plastic bag and bring out some takeout, announcing that he had gotten it on his way back home. He handed you a burger and fries as he brought out one for himself.
“So, care to explain to me why I found you on the floor of the kitchen with an empty bottle of Adderall in your hand?” Your father asked, taking a bite out of his burger. 
You threw a few fries into your mouth, chewing on the crunchy exterior while the inner softness melted on your tongue. Maybe weed wasn’t your thing, but even you had to admit that eating when high on the stuff was just another experience in itself. It had the power to turn even the worst fast food into the most delicious, five-star food known to man. 
“I’m out of Addy,” you finally admitted.
“Addy?”
“Adderall.”
“Right,” your father said, “I can’t keep up with the slang you kids keep inventing nowadays. But anyways, I figured that much. I meant to ask why?”
“I’m sorry dad, I know I promised that I’d get some for your friend since he’s been asking for it, but my dealer had to go in hiding because the police had been tipped off about him and now I don’t have any for myself much less your friend.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” your dad shrugged, not as annoyed by it as earlier. You weren’t sure whether it was because he’d gotten over it or because he was high. 
It was probably the latter.
“You wouldn’t happen to know anyone that could get some for me would you?” You asked hopefully, though the weed was making you feel a lot less concerned about it at the moment. 
Unfortunately your dad just shook his head, “my plug doesn’t really deal the small stuff like Adderall. I can give you some Ritalin though? I have a prescription for it for my job. I heard it’s basically the same thing.”
“I’ve heard the same,” you thought for a moment. Honestly you were desperate for anything at this point, “I’ll take it then. Thanks.”
“No problem, sweetheart.”
The two of you sat in silence for a moment, your relaxed minds taking in the scenery before you. Unlike earlier, you were starting to enjoy the sight of the fields, with its soft green grass and glorious sky. The soft breeze felt fresh against your skin as you continued to bite into your delicious burger. 
“By the way, what happened to your car? Did you take it to the mechanic or something?” Your dad asked absentmindedly, “I didn’t see it in the driveway.”
“What? Are you sure?” You asked as your eyebrows furrowed. Your car should’ve been parked in the driveway since the party last ni-
You suddenly stumbled to your feet, grabbing onto the railing when you felt a wave of dizziness hit your head. You hadn’t driven your car back home last night, Jimin did. But he had left your house driving a car too. That meant…
A gasp slipped from your lips as you rounded a corner, scanning the empty driveway now standing before you. Aside from your dad’s enormous truck, your black compact Toyota was nowhere in sight. 
“He stole my car,” you realised incredulously. 
That bastard stole your car.
-
-
-
“Jeez Y/N calm down, you’re shaking the whole table,” Namjoon whispered, eyeing the teacher as she continued to lecture the class.
You were seated in your last period classroom, practically counting down the seconds as you waited for the bell to finally dismiss the absolute nightmare of a day you were having. When you had asked your dad for some Ritalin, you had expected him to hand you Ritalin. Whatever he had actually given you had to be far from it though, because there was no way anyone would subject themselves to what you were going through. 
Since the morning you’ve felt like a ticking time bomb, too much energy packed into a single human being. You couldn’t stop moving, which was evident in your persistently shaking leg and constantly fidgeting fingers. Technically you did manage to focus in class, but it had taken a lot more energy than you usually needed to compared to when you were on Adderall. 
At this point, you were just waiting for the awful effects to wear off, but you didn’t know whether your father had given you the extended-release form or the immediate-release form. You hoped it was the latter because you could not endure this for another 7 hours. 
“Are you okay, Y/N?” Namjoon asked, laying a hand on your finger. You hadn’t even realised you had started tapping against your desk anxiously. 
“God, I’m so jittery right now,” you admitted, willing time to go faster, “I shouldn’t have taken that Ritalin.”
Namjoon’s gaze narrowed as he let out a frustrated breath, “of course it’s the drugs. Why should I even bother thinking otherwise at this point?”
Choosing to ignore the comment, you tried to calm your shaky hands to no avail. As if you weren’t anxious enough, now Namjoon’s frustrated, and slightly worried, gaze drilled into the side of your head. 
Thankfully, the sound of the bell reverberated around the classroom a few minutes later, signifying the end of the period. The second the teacher dismissed you all with a wave of her hand, you were out the door, ignoring Namjoon’s inquiries about where you were going. You may have been the most energetic you’ve ever been in the past few years, but you still hadn’t forgotten that there was something important you needed to do. 
So you pushed past the hundreds of students beginning to crowd the hallway, searching through a sea of maroon and dark grey uniforms for a certain orange-haired menace. You’d seen him in your second period, taking advantage of his seat that was directly behind you by annoying you to no extent throughout the class. Then the coward had left class 5 minutes early so that he didn’t have to face your wrath after the bell rang. 
Your only option now was to search for him after school, which you did in the cafeteria, gymnasium, and a bunch of classrooms, but he was nowhere in sight. You were even debating checking out the principal's office in case the idiot had gotten himself detention. 
Fortunately you didn’t need to make a fool of yourself in front of any school faculty when you turned into a relatively deserted hallway and noticed a flash of orange. 
You found Jimin standing with his back towards a row of lockers, speaking casually with a frustrated-looking Taehyung. He looked really angry, though you weren’t close enough to hear what they were talking about. Despite his friend’s evident irritation, Jimin seemed completely nonchalant. The first few buttons of his uniform had been undone, revealing a sliver of his toned collarbone while his tie hung loosely from his neck. 
But you pushed Jimin’s good looks and Taehyung’s frustration aside, opting instead to march up to the man you’ve been searching for. 
When you were close enough, his gaze finally noticed your form, eyebrows raising for a moment before a smirk overtook his features. 
“Well, look what we have here. What’s wrong, ki-”
But you had no desire to entertain the jerk for any longer than you needed to. Instead, you grabbed his collar, surprising Taehyung who hadn’t even realised you were there, and dragged him through the hallway before entering the school’s only gender neutral bathroom. The door slammed shut behind you as you focused your glare onto him. 
Jimin merely chuckled.
“If you wanted round two so badly, you only had to ask, kitten.”
Maybe it was the Ritalin that was fueling your irritation, because the sound of that nickname had you a lot more annoyed than usual. 
“My car.”
Jimin leaned against the bathroom wall, crossing his arms as he scanned your form. 
“Come again?”
“You stole my car,” you spat, trying to contain your annoyance. You felt like you had so much energy, mixed with anger that was a dangerous combination.
“Your car,” he said finally, a hint of amusement in his voice, “I have it, yes.”
His nonchalance wasn’t helping either. 
“Just because you drove me home that night, doesn’t mean you have permission to steal my car. You think you get to have something like that just for being a decent human being? I could’ve called a cab if I wanted to you know-”
You paused when you noticed his smile widen, clearly amused by your anger. This jerk…
“I can call the police for this, Park Jimin. Just because you gave me a good time once doesn’t mean I’ll feel guilty for having you arrested for taking my car. Have fun in jail you as-”
“I didn’t take your car because I wanted it,” Jimin interrupted, pushing himself off the wall before making his way towards you. It was only then when you realised that he wasn’t wearing his blazer, only the standard white button up that struggled to hide his toned body. 
“I took your car,” he continued, stride ending right in front of you, “because I wanted you.”
That made you scoff.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
You hated the way his proximity made it so much easier for your gaze to travel down his neck and linger at his collarbone. It was bringing back memories from the party, so much so that you could practically feel his plush lips on your skin as you stared at him now. The ghost of his hand rubbing circles into your waist also did not go unnoticed by you. 
“It means that I wanted to see you again,” he reiterated, his own gaze dropping to your lips, as if he were having the same thoughts. 
You watched his hand disappear into his pocket and return with your car keys before placing them in your hand.
“Your car’s in the parking lot,” he said in a low voice, still focused on your lips, “you can go to it right now.”
But you felt stuck under his gaze, unable to rip your own away from the movement of his plump lips as he spoke. You remembered the feeling of them on your lips, how good it felt when they had brushed against the bottom lip roughly.
Seeing that you weren’t moving, Jimin let his arms trap you against the door, bringing his face closer to yours as he whispered, “or you could stay here with me. Would you like that, kitten? To stay here with me and see what happens?”
At this point, he was so close you could feel the heat from his body on yours. The images from that night were fueling your lust. There was no doubt that that night had been amazing, and now here Jimin was giving you a chance at feeling that all over again. 
Hesitantly, your fingers hovered just above his shoulders before you let them slowly travel down to his chest. You watched his muscles tense under your touch, an oddly vulnerable reaction from a guy like him.
You shouldn’t…
You really shouldn’t…
But why? Because Jimin is a prick that you can barely stand? Because the thought of giving him exactly what he wants makes you want to put yourself in timeout? He stole your car for god’s sake. He annoyed you during class.
But he’s so hot. 
How could you be expected to ignore the sharp lines of his jaw? The muscled expanse of his strong shoulders and chest? The deep resonance of his voice? You can’t. Not when all of it is standing right in front of you, shooting you with a gaze that could light you on fire. 
It’s not like you’re agreeing to date, you thought. Sex is just sex, and you’re sure Jimin has it with a bunch of other girls all the time. It would barely mean anything to him. It would definitely mean nothing to you. 
You felt your hand continue to travel up his skin until it stopped at his neck, waiting for you to make another move. You probably should’ve pushed him away. Told him you weren’t that easy. 
But instead your fingers wrapped around his already loosened tie and slowly pulled him closer until his nose was barely an inch away from yours. The words that left your mouth next had a hint of a whisper in them. 
“You’re a jerk, Park Jimin.”
That was the closest to a ‘yes’ he was going to get from you. You had to keep some semblance of dignity. The man stole your car after all. 
The bathroom reverberated slightly at the sound of a click as Jimin locked the door behind you before you pulled him closer, allowing him to finally catch your lips with his. 
Your stomach burst at the feeling of his plump lips gliding against yours in a heated frenzy, one hand holding your cheek steady as the force of his kiss pushed you against the bathroom door. It was clear that the Jimin before you today was eager and impatient, unlike the Jimin that had taken his time that night at the party.
Right now, you couldn’t help but like it.
The hand holding your jaw pulled your face closer to his, deepening the kiss, while his other hand travelled down, brushing delicately against your neck, before grabbing at your waist. In that moment, Jimin’s tongue slipped into your mouth, exploring the space with a hunger that only rattled the butterflies flying wildly in your stomach. You felt him trace the inner lining of your lips, caressing your tongue- the action causing you to yelp unexpectedly in his mouth. As surprising as it was, you wanted him to do it again. 
Jimin pressed you against the door once again, the rough surface hard against your back, but this time all you could do was pull him into you more, encouraging him to continue dragging his tongue across your mouth. You basked in the heat of his chest so close to yours, the feeling of his hand on your waist, the sensation of his tongue on yours. You couldn’t seem to get enough. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it. Every passing second had you regretting your decision less and less, no matter how annoyed you still were at him. 
Distantly, you felt his middle finger rubbing circles into your waist. 
Jimin broke the kiss for a moment, filling the bathroom with heavy pants as the two of you were allowed to catch your breaths. Your fingers hovered over the buttons of his dress shirt, desperate to start opening them for the view you knew wouldn’t disappoint. 
Jimin, clearly noticing your impatience, let a breathy laugh escape his lips, “relax, kitten. I’ll have you moaning my name like a broken record soon enough.”
That had you scowling, which of course only seemed to amuse Jimin even more. You huffed, knowing your next words would come out weakly before they even left your lips. 
“We’ll see about that.”
-
-
-
“You were such a jerk for that.”
You faced the bathroom’s mirror as you finished adjusting your uniform so that it at least partly resembled itself before you had walked into the bathroom. Jimin had, unfortunately, succeeded in his earlier promise and more, which had you too embarrassed to turn around and face said man who you knew was just a few steps behind you. He'd practically taken every ounce of dignity you had left, and you had given it to him on a silver platter.
If only dignity felt as good as him. 
As if Jimin had heard your thoughts, he replied, “I made it worth your while, didn’t I?”
You could see him in the corner of the mirror, a sly smile plastered over his face as he peered at you through the mirror the same way you were watching him. It didn’t occur to you until now just how good his face would look with a soap dispenser thrown at it. 
To your surprise, he didn’t leave right after he had fixed up his uniform. Instead, he walked over to you before slightly pressing into you, the heat from his chest spreading to your clothed back as he leaned his arms on the sink. You could feel his breath on your neck as his lips brushed against your ear. 
“But let’s make one thing clear, kitten,” he breathed as the words caught your attention, his focus intense even though he was still holding your gaze through the mirror.
“The next time you want to go a round, you’ll have to ask for it. No ambiguous sex bathrooms or calling me a jerk to imply you want some. Just you. Asking me. Using your big girl words.”
“Only in your dreams will I want this again, Park Jimin,” you shot back so quickly you didn’t even have time to wonder what the hell ‘sex bathroom’ was supposed to mean. The fact that he thought there was going to be a next time was laughable. 
You simply got caught up in him and his looks this time. That’s all. This was not going to be a regular thing. You’d never let that happen. 
But Jimin gave you a knowing look, throwing your earlier words back at you, “we’ll see.”
You watched him reach in front of you, grabbing a few paper towels from the dispenser, before drying the hands he had just washed with them and then throwing them in the trash. Once that was done he finally stepped away from you, walking towards the door of the bathroom. 
He glanced at your state momentarily before opening it, “until next time.”
And, just like that, he was gone.
“Jerk,” you muttered, the word starting to gain a familiar spot on your tongue. 
After fixing yourself in the mirror one last time you walked out of the bathroom as well. To your surprise, Namjoon immediately ran up to you not a moment later. 
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he panted, readjusting the strap of his backpack on his shoulder. But then his gaze shifted to behind you, seemingly noticing where you had come from, “why’d you use that bathroom? The only time people use it is for sex, you know that right?”
You turned to look back at the bathroom’s door, only now realising what ‘sex bathroom’ probably meant. Did Jimin think you had brought him in there on purpose? As some kind of ambiguous way of saying you wanted sex?
Oblivious to your thoughts, Namjoon ignored your silence, “whatever. Anyways I came here to tell you that you’re coming home with me today.”
That had you snapping back towards him, “what? No, I just want to go home and sleep off this Ritalin.”
Namjoon was shaking his head before you had even finished the sentence.
“Nope, you’re coming home with me and we’re finishing this math assignment together. Come on.”
“Wha-” He grabbed your arm before you could whine anymore and began dragging you behind him.
“Namjoon!”
-
-
-
“Where have you been?” Taehyung asked frustratedly as he watched his best friend make his way towards him. He had no clue where you had dragged him off, and honestly? He was too mad to care.
Jimin, on the other hand, seemed perfectly untroubled, ignoring Taehyung’s furrowed eyebrows and crossed arms to instead open up his locker. The question floated aimlessly in the deserted hallway for a moment before he huffed loudly.
“Don’t you have anything to say?”
Taehyung’s eyes widened as Jimin brought a textbook out of his locker, closed it, and then began walking towards the school’s exit. 
“Dude?!” He huffed incredulously, trailing Jimin from behind, “I’m talking to you!”
“And I’m ignoring you,” Jimin deadpanned. Taehyung felt himself take several steadying breaths to calm himself down, trying for a less aggressive approach.
“We were having a conversation before.”
“No, you were being tenacious. And I was trying to ignore you.”
“You’re not fine, Jimin!” Taehyung suddenly exploded, secretly thankful that the hallway was deserted, “you think I can’t see it? You think I’ve been blind these past few months?”
That had Jimin turning around, eyebrows furrowed, “what are you talking about?”
“Don’t act oblivious,” Taehyung spoke sharply, “you haven’t been sleeping properly. You’ve been pushing me away. You haven’t been okay for months- wait, no. Who am I kidding, you haven’t been okay for the past 3 years. But it’s never been this bad, Jimin. It’s been getting wor-”
“Okay,” Jimin interrupted, holding up a hand, “where is this coming from? I’ve been sleeping fi-”
“I heard you that night. At the party.”
“Wha-”
“When you came back from dropping Y/N off,” Taehyung admitted, eyes softening, “I could hear the nightmares, all of them. It’s never been this bad, Jimin.”
Jimin froze, eyes wide for a moment before he forced out a hesitant laugh, “you sure it was a nightmare? Because nightmares aren’t the only kinds of dreams that can have someone panting li-”
“Stop it,” Taehyung snapped, his voice nearing anger now, “stop using that mask on me. You can be carefree and flirty with anyone else, but we’re best friends. I know you better than that. Don’t insult me.”
Jimin let out a frustrated breath, very much tired of this conversation, “then what do you want, Taehyung?”
“What do I want? I want you to open up to me. Things have been getting worse, and yet the worse they get the more you shut me out. Just talk to me, man. Get some stuff off your chest. You can trust me. You know I’m not one to spill secrets to others.”
“I’m fine, Taehyung.”
“No, you’re not.”
Jimin ran a hand through his hair frustratedly. Taehyung has always cared about him so much, too much, for so many years. He gave Jimin a place to stay every time his dad kicked him out of the house. He never judged him for the bruises and scars littering his skin. He’s always made himself available for Jimin whenever he needed to vent about how crappy his life truly was. 
And he’s continued to help Jimin, even after his father died-
No.
After Jimin murdered him. 
Taehyung, of course, knows what went down that night. Maybe not every exact detail, because Jimin had just barely managed to tell him the watered down version of the story before he was a shaking heap of laboured breaths on the floor. But Jimin knew. He knew the look Taehyung had given him after hearing the story. 
Taehyung had judged Jimin. 
Taehyung had seen Jimin for who he really was that day. 
A murderer. A cold-hearted killer that had murdered his own father like it was nothing.
And yet, still, he’s been determined to stay by Jimin’s side. He’s always cared for him despite what his true thoughts of Jimin were. Taehyung’s heart was too big. And Jimin knew he was too undeserving of it. 
“As if the therapy wasn’t enough,” he mumbled, pushing the thoughts out of his mind. It was harder to push the mixed emotions starting to strain his chest.
Taehyung rolled his eyes, “as if you’re actually going to that.”
But Jimin’s silence had Taehyung’s eyes widening suddenly.
“Wait… You actually went?”
Hiding his hands in his pocket, Jimin nodded, feeling kind of vulnerable admitting that out loud. But he might as well let Taehyung know he was taking it seriously considering his parents were the only reason he could even afford to think about therapy. 
To his surprise, a wide grin suddenly replaced Taehyung’s prior frown. He rested a hand on Jimin’s shoulder, “that’s great, dude! I’m really proud of you, seriously. I’m sure it’ll really help.”
Jimin couldn’t meet his eyes.
He hoped Taehyung was right. 
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clumsy-jiminie · 1 month
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ɪɴᴇᴠɪᴛᴀʙʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ | ᴘᴊᴍ | ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ
❝ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴡᴀʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴅɪᴄᴋ ❞
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↣ summary :: Kiara Smith had dreamed of true love for as long as she could remember. from being obsessed with the Disney princesses who found affection in the strangest situations to dressing up as a bride from kindergarten to fourth grade. it was the only thing she ever truly desired, so much so that a pleasant smile and kind eyes could have her smitten in seconds. right when she thought she found the one, a chance encounter with Park Jimin—the city’s famously perfect fuck boy with a smile so warm and a heart of ice—has her feeling quite the opposite. he knocks her off her axis and derails her life as she knows it, yet the universe seems to have another plan for the two.
↣ rating :: 18+
↣ genre :: fluff, angst, smut, e2l, slow burn
↣ pairing :: business owner!jimin x fem!artist!oc ft. taehyung
↣ word count :: 4k
↣ chapter warnings :: mature language, implied marking
↣ notes :: shit is about to get JUICY. from here on out will be the banter I mentioned before and I am SO excited. thank you for reading! 💕
↣ next :: previous :: series m.list ↢
ᴄʀᴏꜱꜱ ᴘᴏꜱᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ
if you have any questions, comments, or concerns PLEASE don't hesitate to message me or send me an ask! my inbox is always open. 💖
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"maybe we could've been friends if I met you in another life."
- ꜱᴋɪɴ, ꜱᴀʙʀɪɴᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴘᴇɴᴛᴇʀ -
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Kiara's shoulders slightly raised and dropped as she heaved heavily. She stared at the canvas ahead of her, tilting her head to the side as she reached down to grab another water balloon from the trays beside her. The concrete walls that surrounded her were stained with different colors. Despite the tarp on the ground, paint still made its mark on the grey slab. Shelves lined the walls adorned with various shades and hues of paint cans. The room was a mess, and she was a mess, but it was art. Every splash, every drop, every spill had a story along with it. This place was her safe haven, allowing all her ideas and feelings to flow without restriction. That's all her art was: a display of her feelings poured onto a blank canvas.
She bounced the somewhat heavy water balloon in her hand as she examined her canvas. Blues and teals spread over the once-white base with rough brushstrokes and thrown paint. She swung her arm back, throwing the paint balloon at the canvas. It exploded on impact, staining the middle of the two colors with a lovely blush pink. She smiled to herself as she wiped her hands off on her denim overalls, adding any leftover paint to the collection of stains. She left the piece to dry before adding her signature touch of gold or silver accents. As she walked out of the garage-converted studio, her phone buzzed sporadically in her pocket. She approached her kitchen, quickly washing her hands before pulling the device out of her back pocket. She answered the call without looking at the caller ID, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder.
"Hello?" She said as she dried off her hands. 
"I have the best news!" She instantly recognized the voice as Aimee's as the girl squealed in her ear.
Kiara's brows squished together as her nose wrinkled at the sudden pitch that invaded her eardrum. "Yeah?" She questioned as she opened the fridge door. "And what would that be?" She glanced over at the various food items before grabbing a yogurt. She tried to pull the foil lid off with her fingers before using her teeth.
"Someone just brought out your new collection!"
The tub of yogurt fell from her hands, landing on the floor and tarnishing her kitchen tile with white. "What?! It hasn't even been a month since it's been out!"
"I know!" Aimee sounded excited for her. "We finalized the payment today! All six pieces, and at full price, if I may add." 
It took a moment for the reality to sink in before it hit her like a brick wall. She began to squeal, causing the woman on the other line to do the same, as Kiara bounced on the balls of her feet. 
"So, you know what this means," Aimee said after the girls calmed down.
“What time is the reservation?" Kiara asked as she cleaned up the spilled yogurt. Whenever someone brought out a collection of hers, she would have dinner with them to show her gratitude. It was a risk every time, but Aimee ensured she protected Kiara with an NDA and a few security guards. Keeping her identity a secret was sometimes challenging; it was a bit pricey but worth it.
"Seven. Remember to dress to impress!"
"When do I not?" Kiara chuckled before hanging up the phone.
It didn't take long for her to get ready. An hour passed, and she had showered and styled her waist-length hair into a high ponytail. She sat at her vanity in her bedroom, applying makeup as she heard the front door open. It wasn't long before the shape of Taehyung walked past her to put his bags down. He returned to her reflection, standing behind her before kissing her head.
"You look gorgeous as ever," he said as he pulled the suit jacket off his body. "You going out with the girls tonight?"
She shook her head before spraying her face with setting spray. "Client dinner!" She grinned as she fanned her face with her hand. "Someone brought out my latest collection." She stood up, turning to face him with a proud smile on her glossed lips.
He returned the same smile, his large hand finding her waist to pull her in. "I'm so proud of you." He kissed the top of her forehead carefully to make sure not to ruin her makeup. "My baby is such a hard worker and so pretty." He leaned in to kiss her neck, causing her to giggle. "Mm, and she always smells so good. What time is dinner?"
"Seven."
He glanced at the watch on his wrist before smirking at her. "You have time for a little quickie." She squealed as he leaned into her neck again.
"No, I don't!" She giggled as she escaped his grasp. "Plus, nothing is ever a quickie with you." She grabbed her purse off of the bed before walking to her closet.
"Are you saying I last too long?!"
"I'm not saying it's a bad thing!" She laughed as she slipped on her heels. "Just not good when you must be somewhere in 30 minutes."
He sighed dramatically, plopping himself on the bed as he took one last look at her. "What time will you be back?"
"Like ten, probably. Maybe earlier?" His lips formed a pout as she rolled her eyes, a smile present on her lips. "You know you'll be up, don't act like that." She leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "And when I come back, you can take as long as you want."
He looked up at her with his brown eyes glazed over with lust. "Yeah?" She nodded, goosebumps raising on her skin as his fingertips grazed her leg. He briefly bit down on his lower lip, eyes peering over her frame. She could always make a simple black dress look like a Met Gala gown. The material hugged her frame in a way that only provoked the imagination. "Let me get a little taste, at least." Before she knew it, Taehyung had already pulled her into his lap.
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Kiara stepped out of her car and walked up to the restaurant. She cursed softly to herself, already feeling the tender spot of her neck stiffen and form a bruise. Taehyung had to be so convincing, making her nearly 20 minutes late. She pulled her faux fur coat closer, hoping to shield herself from the brutal wind. Dress to impress resulted in a tight black dress that stopped around her mid-calf with a sweetheart neckline. It was barely suitable for the winter, but usually, these dinners took place in warmer weather. She could remember how nervous she was for the first one. An older man with eyes so kind it calmed her within minutes. He was genuine and thoughtful as he purchased her collection for over the initial selling price. He told her to know her worth and never sell herself short; she took his words to heart. That one dinner sparked the custom into what it is today. As she entered the restaurant, chatting and soft music drowned out her heels clicking against the polished wooden floor.
She stopped to check in her coat before approaching the maître d', who stood with a broad smile behind a podium. His brunette curls contrasted with his sea-green eyes. Sun-kissed freckles littered his tanned skin, making the man's face appear more childlike. "It's always a pleasure to see you, Luna."
"As well as you, Eric." She smiled warmly, resisting the urge to pinch his cheeks. Despite being years younger, the man was taller than her, forcing her gaze to travel upwards to look at him constantly. "Is my guest already here?"
Eric nodded. "He arrived at least 15 minutes before the usual time." He said in almost a question as he ushered Kiara to follow after him. Her brows furrowed as she walked, wondering why that was.
They walked past tables with dining couples and families. The establishment had a nature theme, with flowers and vines intertwined with the wooden beams on the ceiling. A small bouquet of carnations sat at each table with twinkle lights intertwined between the stems and buds. She felt confident walking through here. The owner was a close friend of her father’s, and he was gracious enough to let her hold her occasional meetings here without asking many questions.
"Can you tell me what he looked like?" She asked as curiosity filled her. First, it was a he. Second, he brought multiple pieces at full price. And third, he was early? She just wanted to know if it was the older gentleman from her past dropping by to say hello. She wouldn't put it past him.
”Isn't that unfair now, Luna?" She could picture the smirk on the younger's lips, causing her to roll her eyes.
"Who's side are you on, Eric?!" She huffed as he laughed.
"I think you'd like him," he said before slowing to a stop in front of a black door. He turned to face Kiara, pushing the door open to let her slip through. She stared at him momentarily, hoping he would cave just a little and give up at least a hair color. But he didn't. Instead, he just waited patiently with a smile for her to pass.
"Screw you," she pouted as she walked past him.
He chuckled softly. "Enjoy your meal!" He let the door close, abruptly silencing the sounds from the other side. Quietness filled the air, making it heavy as her eyes connected with her guest for the night. Her eyes widened, and he mirrored the expression. Their contact broke as his eyes darted around briefly. His lips moved slightly, mouthing as if he was trying to find words that left his mind too quickly. Kiara walked over to the lone table, lowering herself into the seat across from no other than Park Jimin.
His brows furrowed as his eyes shamelessly scanned over her once again. Kiara gulped softly, her palms growing sweaty as her mind went wild. She's never had dinner with someone she previously met. All the people who knew were either family, friends, or under contract. But now there was him, the first person to figure out both sides of her. And though she was protected, she had yet to determine if he could buy his way out of the NDA or hire some expert lawyer to find the smallest of loopholes to run with. Did he plan this? Did she slip up somewhere when they first met? Or did Taehyung slip? Could he have caught on from—
"Well," he exclaimed, putting her rackety thoughts to a halt, "there goes my hope of flirting with my idol all night." His plump lips tugged into a slight smirk. He didn't miss a beat, oozing the same confidence from their first encounter.
Kiara raised an eyebrow slightly, her eyes falling over his appearance. He was dressed in a blue dress shirt with the first few buttons opened and a black suit jacket with a single silver chain to match the earrings that adorned his ears. The man knew he was attractive, and that was her problem. He was still remarkably handsome even after he was rude. She scoffed as she opened the menu, trying to keep up appearances like him. "For some reason, I don't believe you."
"What?" He gasped dramatically, causing a little smile to tug at her lips. "Me? Flirt with my friend's girlfriend? You think that lowly of me?"
”Yeah," she answered quickly. Her eyes met with Jimin's, matching his playful energy with ease. "If I recall, you kept checking me out even after discovering I was dating Taehyung."
He opened his mouth to say something before closing it soon after. He leaned back into his chair with a smirk on his lips. "OK, you got me there. You're just so beautiful; it's hard not to stare."
Kiara felt her cheeks flush with heat as she rolled her eyes. Her head shook from side to side as she looked at the menu again. "See, couldn't even last five minutes."
"Is calling it like I see it really flirting?" He asked as he tilted his head to the side.
"Yes, if you intend to get in bed with the person."
”Who said I wanted to do that?" She looked up at him again, seeing that smirk etched on his face as he bit his lower lip. He sat up, leaning his arms and chest onto the table. "Maybe I just like complimenting people. Maybe I like complimenting you." Her eyes widen before darting back to the words on the menu. She shouldn't be blushing this much, especially since she was in a relationship. But there was something about him. There was something about how his lips formed words, his tone dripped with sweet sultriness, and his eyes never left hers, taking every moment to drink her in. Even the way he smiled. He was too attractive for his own good. And she shouldn't be feeling this way. She shouldn't be this flustered.
"Oh yeah, I figured. What was it again? You hold a beauty one could only dream of containing." Jimin's eyes went wide as she let out a fit of giggles.
"Give me a break! It was a good line!"
"If I were a love-sick fool, maybe, just maybe, you would've had me," she laughed.
Jimin shook his head despite the smile on his lips. "You mean to tell me if Taehyung had you that line, you would've reacted the same?"
"Yes."
They stared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Stone cold," Jimin said as he leaned back into his seat.
Kiara felt the nerves wash away as she continued to talk to Jimin. Surprisingly, he was a very entertaining person to talk to. He didn't question her about her work or what inspires her, but about herself. It was a change of pace. Most clients would praise her like a goddess and ask the same three questions: Who's your inspiration? How long does it take you to paint? Do you take commissions? It felt like Jimin wanted to know her for her and not for the work she does. It was nice. The conversation only slowed when they started to eat, switching the subject to the food quality.
"So," Jimin started once the waiter had collected their plates. He picked up his glass, putting it to his lips to take a sip of red wine. "Why do you hide?"
Kiara's brows furrowed. "Why do I hide?" She picked up her own glass of water as he nodded. "I don't hide, necessarily. I just don't think I need to show my face for people to understand my art. Plus, I enjoy still having a normal life."
His brows knitted together as his head tilted to the side. "A normal life?" He put his glass down. "I hate to say it, but it sounds like you're a coward, Kiara."
"What?" She asked sharply.
"Think about it; you're hiding your face and missing out on all the beautiful opportunities to have a 'normal life'. It sounds like you're scared of the fame."
"I'm not scared of the fame," she quickly objected. She could feel her heart beating in her face like she just ran a 5k. It was solid and brisk, spreading up to where she felt the pulse throbbing in her cheeks. "I just don't want people to take advantage of me."
"They'll take advantage of you whether or not your name is known. So what is it?" His eyes then narrowed as he straightened his back. His shoulders appeared broader than before. "Why do you hide?"
Kiara stared at the man for a second, eyes searching for an answer in his. She's been Luna for so long now. She couldn't even remember why she hid her name and face. Was it anxiety? Was it the fear of rejection? Was it the fear of being judged? It could've been all of the above at this point.
"It's OK to admit that you're scared."
His words were all but comforting. "I'm not! I just…." She trailed off, eyes leaving him and resting on the tablecloth before her.
"You had me sign an NDA before I could even step foot in this restaurant. There's this special section specifically made for you to have these types of dinners. There's even security at the door to get in!" He spat out before she even got the moment to gather her thoughts. She felt under attack, though it was just a simple question. Even his points were valid. She never prepared herself for a question like this.
"Sir," she started to reel back in the conversation, but his eyelids lowered at her. "I have these dinners to discuss my work, not to be disrespected."
"But Luna is your work. I'm asking you questions to understand why you actively chose to stay hidden. You have the opportunity to come out every day, and you ignore it every day. If it's not because you're a coward, it's because you're selfish."
"Excuse me?!" She fumed, her eyes narrowing at the man.
He didn't flinch at her glare. Instead, he chose to shift his position by leaning closer toward her. "Choosing to stay hidden robs you of the chance to do any public charity event. You have to let people see you or at least hear your voice. Right now, Luna is only a thought. No one even knows if she's human. People have the right to see who they're supporting, and you shouldn't have to make them spend over ten thousand to meet you." 
The more he spoke, the more infuriated Kiara got. Being interrogated or called out wasn't the reason she had these dinners. This conversation was barely a discussion but a lecture from a 20-something-year-old nepo baby who thinks he can speak about how she chooses to live and spend her money. Her lips pressed into a taut line, keeping herself quiet when all she wanted to do was curse him out.
"And it's not like you could slap on some wig and be Hannah Montana. People aren't that dumb." As he continued, her eye twitched a little. "So which is it?" Jimin watched as Kiara nodded her head a few times. She grabbed the napkin off her lap and placed it on the table.
"And to think that maybe you were just having a bad day earlier." She chuckled softly as his brows furrowed. "Turns out that you're just an asshole regardless."
"Excuse—"
Kiara swiftly threw water in his face, drenching him and his hair as she stood up. He scoffed loudly, hanging his head down to keep any more water from going into his eyes. "Does that answer your question?" He looked up at her and locked eyes one last time, exchanging the same look of hate before she stormed off to the door. "Fucking dick," she mumbled to herself as her heels quickly led her through the restaurant. She dug her hand into her purse, feeling around until she grabbed her cell phone. She clicked on Taehyung's contact before putting it to her ear while getting her coat. It declined on the first ring, adding fuel to her fire before she tried again. Then it went straight to voicemail.
She groaned, putting her coat on and heading outside. She scrolled through her contact list as she reached her car, finally settling on calling her best friend.
"Hey!" He picked up on the second ring, sounding cheery as ever. She could hear the sizzle of a hot pan in the background. "You finished dinner already? It's kinda—"
"That guy was an absolute dick!" Kiara yelled, cutting the man off as she got in her car. "You know, I thought he was nice at first. We seemed to really get along, but then he had to open his dumbass mouth, and ugh!"
"Woah, slow down. What happened?"
Kiara began to drive home, trying to monitor her speed, but it was nearly impossible. "So I met one of Taehyung's friends at my last art show. He seemed nice until he made a slick comment about Tae. I thought maybe he was having a bad day, and me rejecting him was the icing on the cake. Turns out he was the one to buy my collection. We had dinner, and then he called me cowardly and selfish!"
The man began to choke on the food he was eating. "What?! You're the least selfish person I know! What would even make him think that?"
"Because I use a pen name and hide my face."
"WHAT?!" He practically yelled, prompting some annoyed muffling from his roommate. "How the fuck do the two even correlate?!"
"I don't know, JK! He was going on about how I can't donate because I don't show my face like people don't anonymously donate all the time! Like they can't write my name on whatever I donate! But of course, Mr. Nepo Baby is obsessed with pictures and showing everyone his good deeds."
"Wait, he's a nepo baby?" Jeongguk asked as he shoveled some more food into his mouth. "So that means he's loaded, right? Is he looking for an assistant?"
"Stay focused!" Kiara warned.
"Right, right," he said with stuffed cheeks. After he swallowed, he continued. "I wouldn't take what he says to heart, Ki. He's obviously a prick who doesn't know you or care to know you."
She sighed deeply, "OK…, yeah…." She wanted to change the subject but couldn't stop thinking about how he looked at her. It seemed like she was having dinner with a completely different person at the end of the night. She's never had someone look at her with so much disdain. It was jarring.
"You want me to beat him up for you?" Jeongguk asked unexpectedly.
Kiara laughed as she pulled into her driveway. "No! Why must you always resort to violence?"
"Some people just need to get beat up. These hands stay ready." Kiara laughed again, shaking her head as if he could see her. "You still coming tomorrow?"
"Of course!" She grinned. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"I'm glad you said that. I wouldn't want to have to beat you up." She could hear the smirk playing on his lips.
Kiara rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Just because someone is taking boxing lessons doesn't mean they're hot shit."
"You couldn't even beat me up on my bad day."
"You know what?" As she gathered her purse and phone, Kiara scoffed, exiting the car. "Remember you said that. I got something for that ass." 
They laughed as she walked to her front door, bidding Jeongguk goodnight before stepping inside. The house was dark and quiet, signaling that Taehyung had fallen asleep. As she walked into the bedroom, her assumption was correct. She swiftly got undressed before slipping on one of Taehyung's t-shirts. After completing her night routine in the bathroom, she crawled into bed. She fell into the familiar spot on her boyfriend's chest before he sleepily wrapped his arm around her. But she was far from tired. All that consumed her mind were the events of tonight.
Why couldn't she answer him? Could she be one of the two things he called her? Or what if she was both? All these years, she thought she was being genuine. She thought slapping her signature on a check would be sufficient. Was there more to it? A coward. Selfish. Neither of those was supposed to be Luna's intention. She was supposed to be a safe sanctuary, unaffected by criticism. She was supposed to be someone that people understood. Someone who gets it. A friend. And people didn't even know she was a person. All she wanted to do was make art and have people experience her feelings, knowing someone out there felt the same. She never thought she would get this big; she only ever dreamed of it. And now that she was there, maybe she bit off more than she could chew.
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7deadlysinsfics · 2 years
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hi do you have any series recommendations? preferably about jimin
omg yes! i’ve just finished this series a few days ago and i’m still thinking about it. it’s called bona fides by @reliablemitten it’s seriously so good 👌🏽
here are some more amazing jimin series. they also have other series for other members.
beside you by @kimnjss - smau series
into it by @xpeachesncream - mini series
mission: park jimin by @still-with-koo - ongoing series
raise the barre & no strings by @kpopfanfictrash - completed series
anyone can add more to the list if you wish!
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elya7sstuff · 3 days
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✦͙͙͙*͙𝕮𝖆𝖊𝖑𝖚𝖒 | 𝖕𝖏𝖒 𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘⁎∗❥⃝**͙
❖ ── ✦ ──『𝙲𝚊𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚖 {𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚗} = 𝚂𝚔𝚢』── ✦ ── ❖
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↬𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢 | 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙, 𝙹𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑
↬𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 | 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙹𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚡 𝚏!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 (𝚏𝚝. 𝚔𝚒𝚖 𝚜𝚎𝚘𝚔𝚓𝚒𝚗 𝚡 𝚏!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛, 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚓𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚡 𝚏! 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)
↬𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 | 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜, idiots to lovers, 𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚜𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚋𝚞𝚛𝚗, 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎 𝚊𝚞, indecisive reader, mentions of (and/or) cheating, mentions and/or use of substances (alcohol/drugs)
↬𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 | 🔞 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝!
↬𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 | 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸'𝚖 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛 𝚜𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎 my constant post-editing or 𝚊𝚗𝚢 grammatical errors since english is not my mother tongue, 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚝𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎, the 𝚘𝚌𝚜 and the edits so please do not plagiarize or repost any of it and last but not least enjoy the ride :)
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