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#jin zixun

It was a normal day up until then. Summer was slowly fading into Autumn but it was still hot. The cicadas were making their final screams of the season and the air was stiff with the last dregs of August. 

 I’d gone to the skate park to let off some steam. I don’t remember what had happened. Something had pissed me off so I’d been out there for a while.

Skateboarding… It helps calm my soul. Something about the rush of air. The feel of the board vibrating beneath my feet. Separate but connected. Something I could control but not entirely. 

Even when I fall I don’t mind. Every scrape and bruise is earned. And through them I learn. 

I wonder… do I only know how to learn through pain? 

I didn’t really get much relaxation this time around though because that Jin bastard was there. Lording it over the place like he owned it. 

Well he sorta did. Or well, his family did. Not on paper or anything but they’d donated a SHITTON of money to the Rec Center that ran the place so they may as well have owned it. 

The skate park is only a small part of the compound. There’s lots of stuff to do there. Some of it you need a membership for but the skate park and a lot of other things are free to the public. 


Captain Constipation didn’t start showing up at the park until after I did. I know that because the others there told me as much. They said he used to come once upon a time but sucked at it so he claimed it was for lowlifes anyway and never came back. 

I don’t know if he was practicing in secret and just came back now that he knows how to board a bit better or if he actually just came to piss me off. 

Not sure. Don’t really care. I just know that the days he’s there I’d rather be anywhere else. 

Well that day he’d decided to pick a fight. Who knows why? Maybe the stars were in the right position. Maybe he sat down too fast and the stick up his ass got shoved even further in. 

I don’t know. 

Well I didn’t see him coming in time so he caught me off guard. He had a few other thugs with him. Roughed me up a bit but I’ve never had a fight I couldn’t win.  Well, okay they won once but that was only because of the knife. 

There was actually a bit of news coverage about that one though so I don’t think he dared bring a knife again. The guy who actually stabbed me is still in jail I think but the guys who held me down still play flunky so I got a bit of revenge that day. Preeetttyyy sure I knocked out a tooth from the big one.

I remember cleaning myself up in the bathroom quick before I left. I guess that’s when they must have fucked with my board. I was on my way home when the wheel gave out. Came clean off the board. I was just cursing my luck, hoping that I at least wasn’t about to fall into the street when instead of kissing pavement I fell into something large and soft. 

Someone caught me. Someone tall and strong. They’d barely even staggered. 

I remember looking up and thinking that I must have rolled into the street after all and finally kicked the bucket because the person holding me could only be an angel. 

Sometimes I still think that. 

What else could Lan Zhan be but an angel? 

Apparently he’d been wandering around town for a while and happened to be there when he saw me fall. Caught me like I weighed nothing at all. 

After a moment of me staring stupidly at his face he cleared his throat and set me back on my feet.

Embarrassing. 

I thanked him and thanked him and thanked him. Insisted he let me treat him to ice cream to pay him back for saving me. The least I could do for my romantic handsome hero. 

He agreed but I kinda thought it was rather reluctantly. I thought he was probably only humoring me but since he said yes I was already in. 

Kinda selfish, but I was happy for the excuse to be able to look at him for longer so I wasn’t gonna back out even if he was just humoring me. 

I was fortunately able to find the wheel that had fallen off my board. Looks like it was just a loose screw and easy to repair. And a lesson not to leave my board unattended… ever.

I took him to this cute little ice cream parlor that I really love. It’s not too expensive but it’s cute and the ice cream is delicious. I was kinda hoping it’d be cute enough to get him to want to see me again but aah wishful thinking am I right? Just one of those idle fantasies that plays in your head. 

I tell him to get whatever he wants! The least I could do for my savior!

Except.


Par for the course.

My wallet was gone. 

Those assholes must have stolen it sometime during the fight. 

Just 

The whole wallet

Actually

The whole damn pocket.

Somehow I hadn’t noticed

(did thank whatever deity there was in the world that it had ripped clean and did NOT end up with me showing my boxers to the world that entire time. 

Lan Zhan paid. 

I’m still so ashamed. What kind of reward is this? I make him indulge me to buy him ice cream that HE then has to pay for?????

He said he didn’t mind. That it was fine. 

I don’t know. 

I felt so bad (still do tbh.) 

And in a moment of absolute idiotic inspiration

I asked him for his number. 

Just blurted it out. 

I wanted to be able to pay him back again. For real. So when I got paid again I could really thank him. And I told him it would be something better than ice cream. Wherever he wanted to go. 

He stared at me. At the time it was pretty intimidating. That stare. It was like standing at the doors to the afterlife waiting to be judged. 

So strange.. Now there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to feel those eyes on me again. It doesn’t matter the reason or the expression. If he looks at me it means he knows I exist. It means I occupy at least some part of his mind. 

He sees me. So I exist.

I know how crazy that sounds. I do. And it’s not like I don’t exist if he’s NOT looking at me it’s just…

I don’t know how to explain it. 

The world feels more real when I know he sees it too. I don’t know. 

I don’t know.

Anyway. He agreed after a while. I still can’t believe it. But he agreed. 

And…. well I know he told me his name, but I already told you how I was with names. I’d forgotten. 

Though this time I think it was because of all that had already happened that day. Or maybe because I couldn’t dare believe someone so beautiful would be staying in my life. 

I don’t know.

But that’s why he’s in my phone as “Ice Cream Hottie”. Because I couldn’t remember his name. 

I’m terrible. 

I called him anyway when I got paid. I was determined to hold up my end of the deal. 

He sounded as surprised to have gotten a call from me as I had been that he’d actually answered!

And beyond that he agreed to meet me for dinner!

After that we started texting. Slow at first but then more regularly.

And then he told me about his cafe and invited me to come see. (heard MianMian say his name which let me save some face.) ((Though after I called him Lan Wangji he told me I could call him Lan Zhan. I didn’t really know it at the time but that was really important. He doesn’t let a lot of people call him that. ))

The rest is history. 

I don’t know when I fell for him. It could have been instantly. 

I know it took me a long time to recognize it for what it was. 

I know what it is now. 

I won’t forget. Not his name. Not a single thing he says to me. I’ll hold each word. Each action. Each moment he looks at me. I’ll carve them into my heart for safekeeping. For comfort in the cold quiet that I can’t stand. He’ll keep me company even when he’s not there. 

Even if I never share a similar space in his heart. 

It’s okay.

Even if he never loves me like I love him. 

It’s okay. 

I already have more than I ever could have dared to ask for just for being allowed near him. Just knowing he considers me a friend. 

It’s okay. 

8 notes · See All

Somebody please tell me how to escape this time loop. I watched the show 3 times in 2 months, and I want to watch it again….

I just finished the third time yesterday. The untamed is holding me captive. This never happened to me before 😭😭😭😍

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50% of the show characters are Jin Ling’s uncles;

Jiang Cheng - his Mom’s brother.

Wei Wuxian - his Mom’s adopted brother.

Lan Wangji - his Mom’s adopted brother’s husband.

Lan Xichen - his Mom’s adopted brother’s husband’s brother 😂 (and sworn brother with his father’s half brother).

Jin Guangyao - his father’s half brother.

Mo Xuanyo - his father’s half brother.

Qin Su - his father’s half sister (and his uncle’s wife, but let’s not go there 😁)

Jin Zixun - his father’s cousin.

Nie Mingjue - his father’s half brother’s sworn brother (but he’s everybody’s da-ge).

..

In addition to many more uncles, that Jin Guangshan had, that we never knew of.

79 notes · See All

The first time I watched the show, I couldn’t memorize most names (I have a terrible memory for names and faces sometimes too). So, I could only remember them through colors, only the main characters stuck in my head. And I couldn’t recognize Su She or Jin Zixun at all. 😂😂😂

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Gao Wei is feeling like a total player. He’s got two bitches. In all honesty he doesn’t know how sex works with one woman, never mind two, but he’s hoping these hookers will know. At the exact same moment, in another universe far away, Jin Zixun also has a pair of hookers. His uncle Guangshan promises they’re of the best quality. Very discrete. The moment the poor women see the holes scattered across his body, they scream and run from the room. Jin Zixun sighs. He’ll take that bloody Chengmei’s advice and go for a blind prostitute (or two) next time.

In part 71, Yu Mingye gets love advice

In part 73, the Shadow Swordmaster has guests for tea

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Gao Wei is having a bad day. In fact, he’s dead. Killed by that fan-wielding Feng Xun no less. At that exact same moment, in another universe far away, Jin Zixun is also having a bad day. A terrible day really, as he’s also dead and has been killed by fierce corpse Wen Ning. Meanwhile, somewhere in the Cloud Recesses, four year old Lan Jingyi suddenly feels awesome.

In part 66, Madam Feng bites back

In part 68, Jun Linyuan helps out

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Kill him. No one will care. Seriously. Some people might even cheer. At that exact same moment, in another universe far away, the Jins are having another fancy banquet. Jin Zixun starts to choke on a piece of beef. Everyone* pretends not to notice.

*Jiang Yanli’s conscience eventually gets the better of her and she gives him the Heimlich manoeuvre.

In part 47, Dr Yan doesn’t know where the fuck he’s going

In part 49, Yu Mingye and Jun Linyuan have an…unusual friendship

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