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thelouvrefm · 1 year

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— 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 . . .

♕ ( muse l / 42 / cis woman / she/her/hers ) — did you see JOSEPHINE REYES wandering around the island today? they kind of look like NATALIE PORTMAN from certain angles? i heard around town that the OWNER OF CLEAN SLATE is INNOVATIVE, and SPIRITED, but also RETICENT, and SELF-DESTRUCTIVE. people say that they remind them of A TIMER CLOSE TO HITTING ZERO, DRINKING COGNAC IN A BUBBLE BATH, and THE POUNDING OF RUNNING SHOES AGAINST COLD CONCRETE, and ALL THESE THINGS THAT I’VE DONE by THE KILLERS is definitely their theme song. they seem like a nice enough person, but we all know how hard it is to keep a pristine reputation in a small town. ( lauryn / 22 / cst / she/her/hers )

b a c k g r o u n d —

[ ! ] TRIGGER WARNING : MENTION OF RELIGION, DIVORCE, STEALING, LEGAL TROUBLE, PARENTAL DEATH

001. a doted on only child born in kings haven in 1980. josephine’s childhood was normal and about as far from traumatizing as it gets. her parents were loving and had sufficiently prepared for the arrival of their baby girl. they were well off and had plenty of help from josephine’s grandparents. josephine was given every resource imaginable growing up and all the support her parents could muster up.

002. josephine’s parents were jewish, and she was raised accordingly. while her parents were raised in orthodox judaism, they grew to practice reform judaism. though they seemed committed to raising josephine in judaism at first, their efforts dwindled as time went on until they were the family who just observed the “important” holidays.

003. josephine was a fairly average child, but the influx of resources gave her more opportunities and strengthened her strong attributes. she was probably a little bit smarter than the average kid, nothing near gifted, but her at home studies paired with her school teachings helped build her intellect. from a young age, josephine also exhibited an interest in art. so, of course, her parents would sit down with her and an art teacher every other day to hone her craft. her interest was mostly in watercolor paintings, though she dabbled in varying art and pottery mediums as a way to figure out what amused her.

004. a happy and well adjusted child, josephine had many friends and was involved in a couple after school programs like girl scouts and soccer. she was vibrant and described as a ray of sunshine. and who would expect anything different with a life like hers? only, as she grew older, while nothing around her changed, what was inside of her did.

005. there was an introspection and discipline that came naturally to josephine from her years of gentle parenting. josephine was well aware of her privilege and security as she aged, and there was an ever-growing need inside of her to self destruct. looking at it from an outside perspective was funny, a girl with a perfect life looking for reasons to be sad. but the thought behind it was really quite simple: there was a monotony in her routine that left her with the absence of excitement.

006. josephine made a real effort in fending off that need to self destruct, but life sought to equal the balance. her parents announced their separation when josephine was 12 years old. it came as a shock to the young girl. perhaps there were warning signs, hushed arguments heard from down the hall, the slow disintegration of their religious practices, more silence at the dinner table than usual… but divorce? josephine hardly even understood the concept.

007. those resources that were once available to josephine slowly began to dwindle as the logistics of the separation took up much of her parents’ time. josephine began to recede within her own mind, lacking the usual outside presence that she was accustomed to. as it turns out, her thoughts were very loud. social isolation became somewhat of a new norm for josephine. she would sit at the lunch table with her friends still, but sleepovers and trips for ice cream were no longer existent.

008. anger and fear plagued josephine’s mind. she experienced anger toward her parents, the changes being made in her life, the world in general. she was with her mother most of the time, during the week but no weekends, but it wasn’t the same. her once lively, dedicated mother was now relatively hollow, at least compared to her old disposition. josephine could tell she was trying to pick herself back up, but the struggle was apparent.

009. flash forward to age 15, josephine had mostly adjusted to the changes in her life. was there some subtle lasting damage? probably. but she had much more going for her now than she did at age 12. high school was kind to josephine; she was well liked, popular even. she was starting varsity for soccer in her sophomore year. though her dedication to her schoolwork wasn’t strong, she managed to keep her grades up. it wasn’t that josephine was lacking in intellect, she was simply unmotivated. that peppy demeanor that she kept up around her friends wasn’t always present at home.

010. see, josephine did well when other people were around. her thoughts and anxieties did not scream in her head like they did when she was alone. that same little need to destruct that was growing as a kid had grown quite large now; it was becoming hard to ignore. this led josephine to start stealing things whenever she would go to the store. it was little at first, some chapstick or a twix, until she moved onto big ticket items.

011. she would put things in her cart and “forget” to scan them. it was a destructive habit at first, causing her to feel shame, until it turned into something else. josephine grew to look forward to these trips of hers. she would often try to outdo herself, until she was eventually caught. she had stolen a trashcan; had there not been items stashed inside, perhaps she could’ve claimed that she forgot to scan it. she ended up doing diversion to get the charge wiped from her record.

012. kings haven being such a small town, word certainly got around. josephine was embarrassed as her friends exiled her, though the vast majority of kids couldn’t care less. it might’ve even earned her a little street cred. regardless, josephine had momentarily ruined her life enough to quiet that need of hers. when she felt it building back up, however, she found an appropriate outlet for her feelings: painting. her love of art had been rediscovered. after the divorce, josephine had grown out of painting regularly. it had produced some bad associations for her, but she felt ready to try again.

013. soccer was switched for art clubs and local art competitions. josephine found new friends within the art community, feeling as though they were a much better fit for her. now, when she was alone, all she had to do to quiet her brain was throw herself into a project. it was easy for josephine to get lost in things, a good book or a new project. she wouldn’t be part of this world anymore, she was apart of something much greater, something beautiful.

014. after high school, josephine went off to college to acquire a bachelor’s degree in business administration. art seemed far more tempting, but her father’s pressure to yield financial success was etched into her brain. and soon enough, josephine was married! it was a whirlwind romance for her, the fairy tale of her dreams. diego had truly charmed her, and josephine was ready to take on the world with him. they settled down, got a house, and focused on building a life together.

015. following graduation, josephine took a job in market research. it was unfulfilling in many ways, but she convinced herself that it would get better eventually. with diego’s support and her escape via art, it was manageable. her twenties were fairly standard; she matured and had time for self exploration. the prime of her life was lived well; she had friends, family, love, beauty, and enough money to scrape by. it wasn’t until her thirties that things began to fall apart.

016. things with diego had changed; there was an unspoken disconnect. they were meant to be open with each other, but it seemed neither one of them wanted to admit that something was different. josephine had always felt as though maybe she loved diego more than he had loved her, but it seemed like things had began deteriorating more and more. she could see his dissatisfaction growing with his life, but she had no words to help or talk it through. eventually, they were more like roommates than spouses.

017. with this, josephine felt as though she was going crazy. there was a desperation in her to fix things, but she felt as though she would be overreacting or pushing him away further if she were to bring it up. so, she stayed quiet and suffered internally. she tried to be a positive presence around him and hoped that was enough, until eventually their time together became less frequent. josephine was spending more time alone; without much distraction outside of work, she was led her to pursue other things in her career. this led to her buying an empty gallery space.

018. clean slate, a rather fitting name for her new business. the building was advertised as a space to be rented out for exhibits or events, funded in part by her parents. it was something to do, something to fill in the spaces of silence when she and diego ran out of things to talk about. somewhere to sit in the emptiness when it was lacking an exhibit. there was a small building connected to the space that housed a permanent rotation of local art and photography, offering prints at a price. it was a way for josephine to shine some light on local artists; it brightened her days enough to make them bearable. clean slate didn’t pull in the big bucks, but it was sufficient enough, and it was hers.

019. unfortunately, that wasn’t built to last. not long after she turned 40, her father died of a heart attack. it was an unexpected and devastating blow that turned her world upside down for quite some time. it seemed like no one around her knew how to console her, what to say. it killed much of her spirit and motivation in ways that she hasn’t yet recovered.

020. flash forward to now… josephine is going through somewhat of a midlife crisis, if you couldn’t tell from the convertible parked outside of her house that she just traded her old car in for. often times, diego doesn’t even sleep in their home. she has silently wondered where he goes all the time, but she wouldn’t dare to ask. there is perhaps a small part of her that doesn’t want to seem like the nagging wife, even if there is some growing resent that’s getting harder to ignore. josephine doesn’t want to admit that perhaps their marriage is over. that would mean admitting that she had wasted nearly half of her life, that she was going down the same path as her parents. no, she couldn’t do that… but that little need to self destruct is growing again, and she’s not quite sure how to stop it.

[ ! ] TLDR : was super loved and well cared for as a kid until her parents got divorced. has this need to self destruct that is ever-present, though art helps. got in trouble for stealing in her adolescence, ended up getting a bachelor’s degree in business administration. eventually opened up clean slate (an exhibition space) and is now in a failing marriage

p e r s o n a l i t y —

001. josephine presents herself in a certain way to the outside world. while she is generally polite and sometimes soft spoken in public, she is incredibly spirited and has a raging fire inside of her. josephine sometimes needs some help breaking out of her shell, but when she does, she is a sight to behold. she is fun, wild, compassionate. this was mostly how she presented herself in her 20s, but as time went on, she began to feel buried and that nature of hers is now harder to access.

002. her creativity and vivid imagination benefit her art in a variety of ways. josephine isn’t exactly known for being entirely rooted in reality; she is a bit out of touch and a bit out of it in general. she seeks more than this life could offer her, which is why she tries to escape through her art. there is a feeling that she possess that grows with time and encourages her to self destruct. when she listens to that feeling and takes action, it seems to quiet for a while. josephine is typically a patient person; the only time this isn’t the case is when she’s already very frustrated.

003. it could be the multiple cups of coffee she consumes on the daily, but josephine is a pretty jittery person. she can appear on edge to people who don’t know her very well. josephine is generally very career oriented, especially when there’s a lack in her relationships, or in her life in general. her communication could certainly use some work, but josephine’s sympathetic and compassionate nature has made it so that building relationships with people aren’t too difficult for her. josephine has a hard time verbalizing her thoughts and emotions, so she is more likely to hide them.

about. statistics. headcanons. connections.

#khintro #jintro.

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