#jiwan | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

curi0us-gh0st · 6 months

Text

My Love Mine All Mine (SolJiwan)

pairings: Yoon Sol x Fem!Reader (girlfriends), Yoon Sol x Fem!Reader x Seo Jiwan.

word count: 2.249

genre: angst, fluffy (?).

summary: You realize that your girlfriend loved someone with all her heart, and it wasn't you.

warnings: Stay with someone to fill the void (?), sadness, abandonment, getting drunk (Yoon Sol & Seo Jiwan), italics are memories, I just think...

a/n: I saw so many of their edits that my god- imagine that 😭😭 As Taylor Swift said, unconditional love is letting the other person be happy, without it being with you.

“Y/N, hello.” The voice sounded sad on the other end of the line. "I know it's late but… Is Sol with you?"

Ever since you met Yoon Sol, you noticed her reserved and polite personality, a simple and sweet smile on her face in rare moments, the way she dressed, the way she acted, perhaps, that's what made you fall in love with her. You asked her out and she accepted, excitedly you took her to her favorite restaurant, spending a few hours talking about things you both liked and your lives, all of this for a few months until you admitted that you were in love with her. She was surprised by the unexpected statement, that smile was on her face, she said she liked you too and that moved you, you kissed her cheek and intertwined her fingers, telling her that you would take her to get home. Starting to talk and go out more often, they ended up starting a relationship, as you thought, she was sweet inside, so cute, you were no different, being an attentive and helpful girlfriend, always spoiling the girl.

After a month and a half, she decided to introduce her friends, all of whom were very funny, she made a point of introducing her best friend, Seo Jiwan, who throughout the meeting was staring at her with a frown on her face, as if she knew her worst sin. But that changed when she was interacting with Sol, smiling and a natural hugger, always making a point of touching your girlfriend, not that you were jealous, of course your friends were like that, clingy with you but not to the extreme like Jiwan was with Sol, but in the end, you didn't decide to call.

You attended other meetings and get-togethers with your girlfriend's friends, always fun and messy, but there was still something stirring you, something was certainly bothering you. Little by little, you convinced Sol to say more about her friendship with Jiwan and you were putting the pieces together, so it didn't make sense, maybe you were paranoid that your girlfriend's best friend was in love with your girlfriend, no, maybe you were too far away.

That thought remained until you received an unexpected call from Jiwan, her voice was tearful and you could hear some sobs in the background, it hurt you.

"Sol? No… I'm still in class." You answered her, your heart starting to race with worry. "Did something happen? I thought Sol was in another meeting with you guys." She remembered what her girlfriend had said after leaving her at college.

"Meeting?" Jiwan inquired and sniffed. "We had an argument and she said she was going to meet you a few hours ago…" her heart sank. Yoon Sol, did your girlfriend lie to you? "I… I just wanted to talk to her again." The girl sobbed on the other side.

"Oh… I can check if she's home, but I can't promise she can get back to you." She cleared her throat to speak.

"It's okay, I just need to know she's okay, please…" You nodded, hanging up the call, gathering your school supplies and leaving class, heading to your shared apartment with Sol.

When you arrived home that night, you found Sol drinking a bottle of soju, with a not pleasant face, she didn't even greet you when she walked through the entrance and didn't even look at you. You tried to talk to her, but left her alone after she complained that she wanted to be alone.

When Sol came into the room staggering and sobbing, just laying down next to her and sleeping, you noticed traces of her. Her eyes were swollen from crying earlier, it wasn't common for her and Jiwan to fight so it had a certain impact on both of them.

You smiled looking at her and noticed the only thing that only you hadn't seen until now. Everything was in its place, the puzzle was coming together, but you needed to find a way to not get deeply hurt by it.

After a few weeks, everything was back to normal, Sol and Jiwan were talking again and were doing well. With that, you thought it was a great idea to ask Sol for a coffee, after not doing it for a long time, it seemed right.

She was sitting across from him, wearing her casual clothes and her purse next to her, drinking an Americano she had ordered. In her eyes, you were uncomfortable, you fidgeted in your chair, looked and looked away from her, one of your legs was shaking, one of your hands was furiously tapping its fingers on the table and the straw of your coffee was bitten.

"Hey honey, are you okay?" Her soft tone, the nickname she used to call you making your heart shatter in your chest, your eyes burning, wanting to run away and cry.

"Huh? Yes, of course." You answered her quickly. "He is sure?" "Of course, of course." "OK…"

"Anyway, why did you call me here? I thought you were finishing up your semester." She said sipping her iced coffee.

"Ah, yes. I am, but I realized it's been a while since we talked, let alone met." She forced a smile as she scratched the back of her neck.

"I understand, we've been very busy. I really understand." She shook her head and you bit your lip, seriously thinking about your next move.

"We should talk." The tone of her voice changed making Sol raise one of his eyebrows. "Okay, about-"

"Do you love me? Do you really love me, Yoon Sol?" You interrupted her, the girl looked at you confused and realized it was serious.

"Y/N, of course…"

"Deep in your heart, do you love me? Do you love me the same way I love you?" She continued.

"Why are you saying that? Of course I love you." Sol looked at you confused.

"Sol… I know." Her voice came out as a whisper, if Sol had been further away she wouldn't have heard it, for sure.

"You know what?"

"I know you're in love with Jiwan."

"Wait. What??"

"You don't have to pretend anymore." Her eyes shone with tears forming. "Friends don't look at each other like that..."

At the beginning of your relationship, Sol often went out to meet Jiwan and her friends, you accepted, you were her girlfriend's friends. But it was when you started going out together that you noticed something unusual, the way Sol took care of Jiwan, you even thought it was jealousy.

You were in front of them, while Jiwan looked at his phone and Sol put a blanket on to cover his legs from the cold. The way they were together when you went to the park, the way Sol smiled as she held Jiwan's hands on the ride. Most of the time, she would leave your dates or disappear, just to comfort you when Jiwan was feeling bad. The feeling when she arrived at her apartment and found her and Jiwan drunk. You told yourself you didn't care, but your heart ached in your chest; Should you leave? Leave the person you love most behind so they can be happy with someone else?

"Y/N, that's not it…"

"I really tried to ignore it. I thought it was just a really strong friendship, that Jiwan didn't like me because he suspected I could hurt you, but…" You sobbed. "It's not. The way you look at each other… It was and is the same way I look at you." Her eyes were full of tears just like hers, holding on to keep from falling. "All good…"

“Y/N, I… I… Please.” She looked at you with bright eyes.

"Don't worry. I don't hate you, in fact, I love you very much. I've loved you with all my being since I first saw you. You need to be with someone you love the same way I love you, you You deserve it, Sol."

Sol looked at you, watching you pack your things and leave, her lips trembled, they opened and closed but nothing came out of her mouth, she tried, she tried to make you not leave, but it was late, maybe, too late.

Sol waited for a text or call from her, saying that you ended up getting it wrong and that you wanted to sleep with her because it was cold, but no. You didn't text, call or even show up in the last few weeks, Sol felt stupid for lying to you, she liked you but couldn't get Jiwan out of her head, she tried to ignore her feelings but it was in vain. She would also be lying if she said that she didn't feel anything while she was with you, because even though you were shy, you were a ray of sunshine.

She remembered their times together; How you loved going to the coffee shop and drinking coffee while talking. When you only had an afternoon to paint. The way you hugged her when it was cold and told her she was warm. Sol remembered the fight she had with Jiwan, as well as her good and bad moments, her heart hurting in her chest, so confused and aimless.

"You never tell me important things about yourself. Do you know that?" The girl's voice was as if she was hurt.

"Like what, huh?" Sol stared at Jiwan, the same feeling of pain took over her heart, turning her stomach.

"You disappeared and then appeared dating Y/N after saying you liked me." She remembered.

"Jiwan."

By the time Sol got her message to meet her the next afternoon on the subway, after two weeks of no contact, she barely slept due to nervousness and when the time came, she basically ran there without thinking twice.

She stopped in the crowd of people trying to get to her destination to find you. A pained smile and her lips, the edges of her eyes threatening to spill tears, hands shaking, but still, as gentle as she knew you.

"Hi Sol." You said before the girl hugged you tightly and started repeating apologies. "Okay, okay." You patted her on the back.

“Y/N, please…” She pulled away to look at you, her eyes filled with tears, suffering written all over her face.

"Sol…" You touched her cheek, wiping the path of tears. "Everything is fine." You smiled and she shook her head.

"No, it's not."

"Hey." She held her face with both hands. "It's okay, you need to calm down." She looked into her eyes. "I know our beginning was messy and meaningless, but I really loved you, in fact, I love you so much, do you understand?" She nodded. "I want you to be happy, I want to see you really happy. I loved all our moments together, how warm and pleasant you are. But…"

"Y/N, no…"

"You're not mine. Your heart is not mine. I understand that, even if it hurts, I understand. You need to be with someone you really love, I already told you about that." You wiped away the tears that slid down her cheeks. "I let you go. I let you be happy." You smiled and kissed her cheek. "I love you Sol. I love you so much and I wish you all the best."

Arms slipping from her face for you to hold her shoulders from behind, making her look forward and see Jiwan standing there with teary eyes. She looked at Jiwan and then tried to look at you, before being pushed to meet her best friend, her true love.

You saw her love hug the love of her life, still crying. You saw Jiwan hold Sol's face and have the courage to kiss her, conveying his feelings, just like you did when you confessed your feelings. You let her go, even though there was still a corner in your heart that still wanted Sol, you left her deep in her heart. You turned and left among those people, feeling tears leave your eyes, a deep feeling in your heart, ignoring everyone around you, lost in the crowd, you didn't even notice Sol's gaze trying to find you.

"Jiwan, can you meet me at the station? I want you to confess to Sol."

The first few days were difficult, you remembered Sol in everything you did, especially those you did together. You stopped going to your coffee shop, you stopped going to the beach, you stopped going to the park, just to heal your heart. Only he still wanted Sol, he wanted to run back to Sol and hug her to tell her he was cold, kiss her to taste her lip gloss, so many things.

"I'm in love with Yoon Sol."

"I hate Sol."

"I love her smile."

"I hate those gums."

"I love her hair."

"I hate your messy hair."

"I love your laid-back style."

"I hate her boring clothes."

"I love how she expresses herself with her art, bringing different feelings."

"I hate her talent."

"And I love the way she takes care of me while we go to the park or the beach together."

"I hate how she takes care of me like she's a baby."