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#joffrey lannister
weirwoodweb · 1 year
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my golden boy
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spectrum-color · 8 months
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So we all know GRRM, like all authors, took a lot of inspo from real life fairy tales, religion, and mythology. There are a ton of parallels but I picked out a few to put in this poll
Propaganda: Before anyone says anything, I know a lot of these are dark spins on the original. I’m not trying to say Littlefinger is a handsome prince or whatever. Also note that some of this is based on either things that haven’t happened yet but are highly likely to happen in Winds/Dream up to and including being confirmed by GRRM.
Arya and Jaqen as Hades and Persephone-the young maiden of spring is found by the lord of the underworld, who gives her an object (in this case a coin) to trick her into being trapped in the world of the dead. When she leaves home, winter comes, but when she returns, so does spring.
Sansa as Rapunzel-a princess locked in a tower by an evil sorceress (or just queen) who is spirited away by a man who wants to marry her. Strong focus on her hair as a symbol of her identity.
The Brotherhood Without Banners as Robin Hood and his Merry Men-a band of outlaws who defend the common people against corrupt authority figures. This one is really self explanatory.
Cersei as the evil queen and Margaery/Sansa/eventually Dany as Snow White-a vain, cruel women terrified of her beauty fading and being replaced by a younger woman who outshines her, so she tries to destroy her perceived rival, ultimately leading to her own downfall. The girls in Snow Whites slot are the popular choices for the identity of the YMBQ and the one Cersei is currently convinced it is.
Jaime and Brienne as Beauty and the Beast-a double subversion. Jaime is handsome and Brienne is ugly, but when they meet she’s brave and kind while he’s selfish and cruel, so it’s the beast who helps the beauty be better.
Lyanna, Rhaegar, and Robert as Helen of Troy, Paris, and Menelaus-a beautiful woman fiercely desired by two powerful men, she either runs off with or is kidnapped by a prince, leading to her (soon to be) husband retaliating by starting a tragic war.
Stannis and Shireen as Agammemon and Iphegenia-a king and commander sacrifices his daughter to the gods to win a war. Bonus if this ends up causing Stannis’ downfall.
Lady Stoneheart as Demeter-a mother wanders the land bringing destruction and misery as she searches for her daughter(s.) When her daughters return to her, spring comes.
Cersei and Jaimes children as the emperor wearing no clothes-the emperor walks around naked insisting that he’s a wearing magic invisible outfit, but everyone is afraid to tell him the truth until finally a child points out that he’s wearing nothing at all. See: everyone pretending not to notice that Cerseis children are the result of incest with her brother, and Ned finally realizing the truth when his 11 year old daughter points out that Joffrey is nothing like Robert.
Bran as the Fisher King-the Fisher King is a character from Arthurian myth. He is the guardian of the magical holy grail, protecting it so it (and power) does not fall into the hands of the unworthy. Notably, he also has a deliberating injury to his legs or groin (depending on the version.) Of course the endgame Bran of the show is a blatant rip-off of Leto II from Children of Dune, but I think the Fisher King sounds more like GRRM would do.
Dany as Moses-a leader who has prophetic visions, who after performing a miracle, frees her people from slavery and leads them on a harsh journey to a new land. Notably regarded as a critically important figure by a monotheistic religion.
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jaeedraszaerysz · 10 months
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YOU CANT EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED ☆ JOFFREY BARATHEON
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Warnings: joffrey obviously, swearing, mentions of murder and war, mentions of incest.
Summary: being joffrey baratheons cupbearer as the last targaryen in Kings landing was bound to be eventful, just not in the way that pleases you. Until...
Notes: reader is FEMALE also to fit in with the context of this fic, joffrey is around 17-18 and the reader is 19 ish making her 6 years younger than viserys and 4 years older than daenerys in season 1
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Being born a targaryen was like a game of Russian roulette. You were either blessed with great kindness and gentleness or cursed with madness and cruelty. In your case, it had been the former thankfully.
According to the maesters and other occupants of Kings landing you had been the most peaceful of the three targaryen babies to have been born of aerys II, the mad king. You had never cried or wailed or screamed, only smiled and attempted to befriend any lord, lady, knight or servant who came to cross your path.
But when the rebellion came and your father was dethroned and executed by jaime lannister your life had been flipped. Your brother rhaegar was dead along with all of his children, your other brother viserys and your mother, pregnant with another targaryen had fled, leaving you.
You didn't know why. You were still only a child of 3. No one else seemed to know either. So, Robert baratheon, the new king of the seven Kingdoms, decided to keep you. You were to be raised in Kings landing by a nurse and tywin lannister, having worked on your father's council before his death, made sure that you were educated properly.
By the time you had turned ten years of age, it was almost that your taragryen lineage had been forgotten, except for the obvious snowy hair and violet eyes. But no one that actually mattered seemed to pay attention to it any more.
You had grown close to cersei lannister in your teenage years, despite her being almost twenty years older than yourself. She was nice to you and as you grew, so did her eldest son, Prince joffrey. And then her others, princess myrcella and Prince tommen.
You were a bright girl, smart and kind. You had even been known to summon a smile from the Knight commonly referred to as the hound, sandor clegane. However, you had very little friends and were often seen wandering around or sitting by the flowers in the gardens, staring out into the sea or the city below.
By the time you had turned ten and seven you were truly a sight to behold, having inherited the targaryen beauty of your ancestors. But, as the small council came to realise that marrying off the only targaryen in westeros to a rich or powerful lord may not have been the most amazing idea, the king decided to appoint you as joffreys cupbearer.
You were good for the job, you listened attentively, you were smart and quick. And most importantly there wasn't anything distinct about you that joffrey could complain of and have you removed for.
So that's what became of you. You became his cupbearer and followed him around the red keep, accompanied him on his hunts or his short journeys and poured his wine, brought him his food, or anything else he asked for. Of course you were not immune to his cruelty, the opposite actually. He often mocked your unnatural eyes and Strangely perfect competition, he called you a witch, trying to enchant the castle and accused you of whoring about with the knights although you had never been with anyone.
He overworked you and reprimanded you but you were always there to listen, happy to be given a chance. He noticed this and it aggravated him. To see someone who was supposed to be miserable so joyous at the idea of bringing the king his meals and wine and suffering his abuse day and night for the rest of his or her life.
It confused him, how he had his ways so easily with you but not through fear, anger or blackmail, but through pure loyalty and gratitude that your life had been spared and you had been given a chance and something other than death or imprisonment.
He wasn't stupid. He heard the Lords and ladies whisper as you walled behind him. He heard the knights mock as you passed by. Eventually it grew to anger him slightly whenever your name was put down or insulted.
Only he was allowed to do that. And that in mind, joffrey became rather possessive of you in a way.
You listened to him rant. Listened to his drone on about his parents or the peasants or his siblings. About the food and the weather and the sheets. About everything.
And that is how you ended up here, stood in his chambers, listening to him speak of the lady sansa stark and his new betrothal to her. And listening to him rave about how he was still expected to marry the traitors daughter. And you knew ned stark was no such a man, and you were sure he did to, but you listened all the same.
He paced quickly around the room, hands behind his back, until he was called for a meeting of the small council. He was quite busy as of late, what with stannis baratheons army, renly baratheons army aswell now. And the north's new rebellion, robb stark, son of the late ned, proclaiming himself king in the North and marching closer by the day.
Joffrey was the king now, and he was much more cruel as of late, and you thought about it on your way back to your chambers that night. They had been decent enough to give you a separate room in the servants quarters, what with your family name and the risks of you forming alliances that had become more prominently discussed in the recent months you had noticed.
You had heard that viserys was marrying off your sister to the dothraki khal in exchange for an army but the conversation was dropped a while ago.
You had changed into your nightgown and were now stood, brushing your hair gently and staring out of your window to the crashing waves below. They calmed you, but that calm was interrupted by a harsh collection of violent knocks at your door.
You had set aside the brush and quickly gone to answer. Noticing it was joffrey which was unusual as he always sent someone for you, never venturing anywhere near the servants end of the castle.
"Whatever is the matter, your grac-"
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you, burying his head into your neck. He held you in an embrace and you were stunned for a moment, eyes wide and staring at sandor clegane who stood across the hall and shrugged and you.
You had slowly and anxiously returned the hug, moving your hand gently up and down his back as he slowly began to cry. It was almost silent hut you could feel him shaking.
"Your grace, do you-" you let out a breath. "Do you want to come in and sit for a moment?"
He nodded into your shoulder and you guided him into your room, ignoring the silent laughs from the hound as you closed the door, sitting joffrey down on your bed, he rested himself against the headboard, on the side closest to the window.
You had quickly grabbed him a cup of water and offered it to him, he took it and you stood infront of him cautiously.
"Are you alright, your grace?" You asked quietly.
He stopped his slow crying for a moment and looked up at you, his eyes meeting yours.
"I'm a terrible king. I don't know what to do about all the stupid Lords and ladies constantly wanting my attention. I don't know what to do about uncle renly or uncle stannis, about robb stark or my mother or anything."
Your face softened with sympathy for the boy king slightly as you replied.
"You are no such thing, your grace. War is a strange and chaotic thing, no one ever really, truly knows what to do. You're handling it well I'm sure of it, your grace."
He looked down into his lap and them out if the window and into the dark sky.
"Do you really think so?"
"I do, your grace."
He paused and and studied your face, your beautiful eyes and hair, your skin and lips, your figure and everything else about you.
"Why are you nice to me? I am nothing but cruel to you and yet you are happy to serve me. You listen and you don't tire of me. Why?"
"Because, your grace," you spoke softly. "I cannoted ever repay the generosity your family had shown me and I do not find it a chore to listen to you. I do not have any friends, I do not have people to speak to for no one ever wants the risk of speaking to the mad Kings Daughter. But you, your grace, you speak to me, about everything. About your problems, about your feelings. You don't see me as the targaryen girl, you see me as your cupbearer. Nothing more, nothing less, your grace."
You say nervously on the end of your bed, gazing at him. He gestured for you to sit closer and so you shuffled up the bed until you too were leaned against the headboard.
"Your grace, it is improper for someone such as yourself to be laying in such a room, are you sure I cannot escort you back to your chambers, get you some food or some wine?"
He didn't not reply, he just yet again stared out of the window.
"I think of you as much more than that you know." He mumbled.
"I'm sorry, your grace?" You asked, confounded by the statement.
"I think of you as much more than just my cupbearer. Much more."
"Your grace, i am afraid I do not understand quite what you are implyi-"
He lent forward slightly as cupped your check with his hand, his beautiful brown eyes staring into your own vivid, violet ones. He tinged his head slightly and kissed you.
His lips were soft and warm, his kiss gentle. Not at all like you had expected. He pulled away slowly, still keeping eye contact.
"Your grace, i-"
"Joffrey."
"I, I'm sorry i-" he placed a finger over your lips, shushing you softly.
"Just joffrey."
And he kissed you again, this time much more passionately, your lips moving in sync with each other and your heartbeats rising, bodies getting closer and closer.
And that is how you stayed until the morning when cersei found you both, but she never said a word, to either of you, instead choosing to leave quietly.
As she walked back down the corridor, she was joined by tyrion lannister and she looked down at him.
"Well that certainly was not expected to happen any time soon." He stated.
"Well, dear brother, you can't expect the unexpected, can you?
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xkrishnax · 2 years
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weirwooddreams · 2 months
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King Joffrey I Baratheon, Princess Myrcella Baratheon and King Tommen I Baratheon.
Requested by anonymous!
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allovesthings · 9 months
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Rhaegar and Catelyn did not start theirs respective war. We know who is responsible for the war of the five kings AND for the rebellion and it's not them.
The rebellion was going to happen anyway regardless of Rhaegar making the decision to take Lyanna (whether or not he really took her, she chose to go with him or he rescued her). The Starks and Baratheons may not have been the leaders of said rebellion but a rebellion was going to happen. The rebellion started because they had a mad king on the throne who refused to uphold the social contract between him and the noble houses, executed two nobles unlawfully and then asked for the head of Ned and Robert who, at the time, did nothing wrong. A mad king who was influenced by bad advisors who wanted power for themselves.
Was the Lyanna choice, the reason as to why Brandon went to King's Landing in the first place ? Yes absolutely but Aerys would have crossed that line sooner or later with another noble who offended him. Also we don't know if Rhaegar and Lyanna tried to send a message to Brandon before he got to King's Landing and he never got it.
The war of the five kings was also going to happen anyway regardless of Catelyn making the decision to take Tyrion. Littlefinger and Lysa used the tension between the Starks and the Lannisters to start it (tensions started by Tywin's extreme violence) and then a young "mad King" probably influenced by Littlefinger executed a noble unlawfully again (therefore breaking the social contract between the monarchy and the noble house) and demanded the rest of his family to come down to King's Landing to bend the knee (let's be real, Joffrey would have killed Robb and Cat if they did).
Did Cat taking Tyrion accelerate said tensions ? Yes absolutely but the war was also inevitable because Littlefinger was pushing it AND because Joffrey was a sadistic king who also would have crossed said line regardless.
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tinfairies · 1 year
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can I get headcanons for joffrey baratheon and what it would be like to be his lover?
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Joffrey is fiercely protective of his lover. If anyone looks at them with anything but adoration (but not too much adoration) he'll have them hurt.
He's also jealous to a fault. His lover will have very few friends and only select members of their family can communicate with them.
As isolated as he makes his lover, he will give them anything they could ever want.
If they even mention liking something, it's in their chambers the next day.
Clothing, jewelry, books, they name it, they have it.
Joffrey always has them by his side when he makes public appearances. The whole kingdom will love their queen/king, he makes sure of it.
If they mention any dislike for someone, that person either comes up missing or is plagued by misfortune.
He's cruel, and will sometimes pick a random lord out at a party. He asks him if he thinks his beloved is beautiful, a double edged question.
If he say yes, he is imprisoned. If he says no, he gets his tongue cut out.
Joffrey also likes to bring them animal pelts from the ones he's killed.
He is very clingy, moreso in private.
Loves to just cuddle in bed with them, wrapped around them with his head on their chest.
He's constantly coming to the them throughout the day to bury his head in their neck and exist in their space.
Joffrey requires a lot of attention, and will pout and throw fits when he doesn't get it.
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silverflameataraxia · 10 days
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Jon could have told him. He knew, they all knew, yet no man of them would say the words. The Others are only a story, a tale to make children shiver. If they ever lived at all, they are gone eight thousand years. Even the thought made him feel foolish; he was a man grown now, a black brother of the Night's Watch, not the boy who'd once sat at Old Nan's feet with Bran and Robb and Arya.
- Jon VII, AGoT
Rickon probably wasn't old enough to hear Old Nan's stories, but where was Sansa? Did she find Old Nan's stories to be too foolish and beneath her to join in with the rest of her siblings? Did the stories not fit with the songs in her head that she'd based reality on?
"They were as close as brothers, once." Jon wondered if Joffrey would keep his father as the King's Hand. It did not seem likely. That might mean Lord Eddard would return to Winterfell, and his sisters as well. He might even be allowed to visit them, with Lord Mormont's permission.  It would be good to see Arya's grin again and to talk with his father. I will ask him about my mother, he resolved. I am a man now, it is past time he told me. Even if she was a whore, I don't care. I want to know.
- Jon VII, AGoT
It's interesting that Jon thinks about sisters in the plural, but only names Arya by name 🤣 I don't doubt that Jon cares a little bit about Sansa - because he's a decent person - but Arya's the one he would go to war for, kill for, and die for.
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Game of Thrones Muscial Character Alignment Chart🎙🎶
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What do you think of this ranking?
Explanation of the Catelyn placing: Either Catelyn would sing a long song about her problems, and continue as if none of it had happened OR Jaime and her would duet DUEL the hell out of each other 🤜🤛⚔️😂
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dragons-and-handcuffs · 6 months
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Would Joffrey make The Mountain "ravish" his (Joffrey's) twin sister in front of him in the throne room? Or in his chambers late at night? Perhaps, knowing Joffrey and Gregor, the action is even more sadistic than the prostitutes spanking each other (in the show when Tyrion sends prostitutes to Joffrey as gifts to him). What do you think? Would it be that way? Joffrey possibly punishes his sister for being too nice towards Gregor and his delusional mind thinks she's seducing the guard
Joffrey thinks his sister loved that kind of attention, otherwise why would she be so nice to the guards? He call her to the throne room. The guards immediately hold her and drag her in front of Joffrey. He tells her a princese should be punished for seeking attention and seducing the royal guard. He orders the guards to take off her dress and make her stand naked in the throne room. He then orders Gregor to spank her till he believes she has learned her lesson. Gregor is not kind or gentle at all. She screamed and beg as Gregor's big hands spanked her. She could feel her skin turning red. Joffrey believes Gregor did a good job and as a result offered his sister to him for the night, thinking this will definitely teach her a lesson. Gregor forced his big cock inside the princess right there in the throne room as Joffrey watched. His sister cried and beg which annoyed Joffrey. Can't she see that this is for her own good? Gregor started to roughly fuck her like an animal, slapping and pulling her tits, spanking her already sore ass. He love how tight she is and his cock hit the wall of her inside everytime. Joffrey saying humiliating things to her and ordered her to keep her eyes open. Gregor cum inside of her and then fucked her again standing. Joffrey was so disappointed on his sister when she cum as well. Maybe she has not learned her lesson? After she was ruined and used Joffrey ordered for a crop stick and hit her tits, cunt, and ass as a punishment for cumming. But Joffrey is not a monster like everyone believes him to be. He kissed his sister and told her this is a for her benefits. He went easy on her but some more punishment are still pending. He won't allow her to walk to her room after that and so told Gregor to carry her. The rest of the punishment will be give the next day
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knightsickness · 6 months
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what a nice looking prince i hope he doesn’t engage in a plot or scheme
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pixiecactus · 3 months
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some starks and their "first loves"
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wylldebee · 3 months
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Ye Olde Magick AU Headcanons
Ye Olde Magick AU: X and X
As always thank @books-n-guns for helping making this AU!
— The Starks and Mormonts of old used to wrestle. Wolf vs Bear! Once the Karstarks were made they also joined in. It was made a tournament back then, but as the magic in their veins waned and the Starks stopped getting their claws they stopped. — The Arryns have this Rite of Passage where they jump off the highest tower of the Eyrie, plummet down as low to the ground as they can, and then swoop upwards. The closer to the ground you are before you do, the most bragging rights you get. Aemma Targaryen still holds the record. Robert used to have such pride in that before the war. — Aemma used to have the most beautiful scaled and feather wings and also back muscles like damn. Absolutely beautiful. Viserys had guards hold down her wings before she was cut into. When the feathers fell off, she would gift them to her friends and family. Her husband Viserys, her daughter Rhaenyra, her good-brother Daemon, and Rhaenys each had one of her feathers with them when they died. — When Jon accidentally sneezed fire and melted a ice zombie instantly, Ygritte knew this was the gods way of telling her this is her future baby daddy. Fangs? Fire? If the kids inherited her hair and archery skills they would be unstoppable. (and yes this is a Ygritte lives!AU
— The real reason why Benjen wasn't in the war was because he would have been a menace. A lethal menace. You think Ned was just beginning to grey in book? If Benjen was in the war Ned would have been instantly grey, this poor man would just be running after his little brother as he kills knight after knight the entire war like Benjen no you can't just try and take on an entire unit on your own ROBERT STOP ENCOURAGING HIM! (Books-n-guns, if you're reading this I totally owe this to you about your Benjen comment XD) — Catelyn has a shiny rock collection. This woman has been in rivers since she was girl and has found the best rocks. She's given Ned some. He cherishes them dearly, and he always has one of them on his person. Uses the flatter ones as a worry stone. He had one of them on his person when he was executed. (no this isn't a Ned Stark lives!AU sorry the plot/lore demands it) — All the Stark-Tully kiddos collect rocks. The shinest of shiny rocks. Best of the best. Robb and Arya give some to Theon and Jon respectively. Sansa gives her very first best shiny rock to Margaery who never leaves without it. — In return Margaery gives Sansa a piece of her tree to take with her if she has to travel. A flower or a leaf or even a piece of its bark. It's warm to Sansa's hand and she swears she can feel Margaery through it. — Arya bit Joffrey when he was being an ass with Mycah. Nobody could deny it with blood on Arya's lips/fangs. So Nymeria stays and Lady was spared. Afterwards, Ned managed to get the wolves out of King's Landing just in time. Sansa has wolf dreams of running with Nymeria, hunting and surviving. — Margaery nearly weeps when she learns about the Starks of old. She loves her Sansa - but are you seriously telling her, her girl could've had pointed ears and wolf eyes and claws? She could have had a Westeros version of a werewolf as a girlfriend?! Fuck it she's joining the Old Gods maybe if she's a good follower they'll have pity on this poor lesbian and give Sansa those features. Please she is begging with her heart and her entire pussy please. — A month after giving birth to her daughter, Aemma strapped Rhaenyra and her little dragon securely to her chest, and took flight. Just like her good-mother did to a baby Daemon on her dragon years ago. People said Rhaenyra was giggling when Aemma landed. "She has her entire life to ride on a dragon, Viserys." The queen was overheard saying to her husband. "Let her first years be flying with me." — As books-n-guns said, the Lannisters were more pack oriented than the Starks. Come Tywin and his Tywin-ness and boy have the Lannisters been screwed-up badly by him. — The Tullys and the Greyjoys absolutely hate each other I'm not kidding. You think Balon has beef with Ned over his defeat over little rebellion? Nah, that only added to the existing beef of Ned being married to fucking Tully. A fucking river nymph. This hate is spread out to the Riverlanders and the people of Iron Isles. — No I'm serious they fucking hate each other. The amount of fist fights and duals and deaths between a Riverlander and someone from the Iron Isles is so damn frequent people just automatically clear the area and wait for one or both to die, and carry on their business. It's another Thursday in Westeros, nothing spectacular to see here.
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forestcat222 · 2 months
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So I've seen AU concepts where Rhaegar becomes king and stays married to Elua, or gets married to Lyanna, or gets married to Cersei, or (my favorite) him marrying all of them
Now I hate Rhaegar. I despise that man, and the idea of him marrying all these women who are too good for him doesn't exactly please me buuuut.....
Think of the kids, imagine you keep all the Canon kids (Aegon, Rhaenys, Jon, Joffrey, Myrcella, tommen) that means they're all siblings.
Joffrey has three older siblings fighting with him constantly. Tommen has two sweet older brothers and two sweet big sisters who will protect him. Jon and Joffrey are both the middle children. Myrcella has an awesome big sister who she can spend time with. Aegon is the oldest brother and gets to tease all his little brothers. Joffrey teases Jon about being shorter than him.
The sibling interaction potential give me life!!!
I think I might need to write an AU for this. I love the idea of this giant absurd dysfunctional family!
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ginger-danica-snapps · 8 months
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Queen's (or incumbent Queens) of Westeros with their firstborn's. In order of posting,
1. Rhaella and Rhaegar
2. Cersei and Joffrey
3. Alicent and Aegon
4. Aemma and Rhaenyra
5. Elia and Rhaenys
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nervoustreellama · 1 year
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Watching game of thrones
Love how on like the first day with the hound Arya tries to fucking smash his head open with a rock and the hound is encouraging her violent tendencies because it’s only been 24 hours and he already loves his adopted murder child
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