#john mulaney trying to get anxiety meds

[glittertomb]

Very personal but important question(s?) regarding chronic health issues and disability

So I’ve had fibromyalgia and Gastroparesis for about a decade now, and I try my best to self-manage these issues (in addition to the expensive meds they give me that don’t really provide relief), but it becomes severely difficult for me to work a full schedule, particularly when my job drains me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I spend my days off in complete recovery mode, absolutely bed-ridden, afraid to do anything social or physical, because I risk going into a total Fibro meltdown. Which is a nightmare, but I’ll spare you the details.

I’ve been considering applying for partial disability because I think working 3 or 4 days instead of 5 or 6 would be much better for most humans, honestly, but particular for someone like me who deals with chronic nausea, discomfort, and pain on the daily. I’ve been putting it off for ages though because I know that disability can be very difficult to get and a horrible process and I can’t work myself up to it or afford a disability lawyer to help me. I tried being a little more aggressive this past summer and collected “documentation” on my fibromyalgia in the hope of preparing to submit it, and literally all of my documentation says “fibromyalgia?” because apparently none of my doctors believe me after years of testing and thousands of dollars of office visits trying to get this diagnosis. To be honest, using fibromyalgia as my reasoning for disability needs was a dead end anyway because lots of doctors still don’t believe it exists, so I doubt the government would find that a good reason either. And I really doubt they would take the Gastroparesis seriously either, even though both of these conditions are dehabilitating at times.

So one of my friends recommended I go through the avenue of my mental health issues. At different points of my life I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bipolar, ocd, adhd, etc, and who knows what the real answer is, but she’s a mess. I’ve been realizing over the past couple years that I’m very likely autistic, and that would actually explain a lot of these things, but the past 6 months have been crazy, and even though I’ve been working a bunch, I’m poorer than ever because of the rising cost of everything, so I cannot afford to get a formal diagnosis yet. But I know that I told my most recent psychiatrist all these horror stories about my anxiety, so I decided to get done documentation for her too, and guess what? Generalized depression and mild anxiety. Girl, huh? (Tw: blood and dermatillomania coming up) I showed her evidence of scars on my hands from picking my hands every night til I bleed everywhere, I described how I get overwhelmed and cry at work several times a week and often fight back panic attacks at work and in my private life, I told her than I struggled to fall asleep and stay asleep and only got collectively about a few hours every night, I told her that I literally could not socialize without using alcohol as a crutch but I can no longer do that because of my digestive issues so I self-isolate, I told her that I struggle to maintain eye contact and panic when people give me eye contact… so many stories like these. Mild anxiety smdh

So that comes to my first question cause I guess I decided while writing this that I have a couple:

1) How do you, as a female-presenting person, get a diagnosis for severe anxiety? How wild do my stories have to be without accidentally committing myself?! I have an ex, amab, who basically pulled a john Mulaney and was like, “I get nervous on planes sometimes” and he legit got a prescription for Xanax or one of those other big ones, and another who is on a dose of gabapentin 5x the strength of mine because he gets social anxiety sometimes, so this is especially frustrating that I can’t even get a dang proper diagnosis on anything after ten+ years of therapy, doctors, tests, everything.

2) What is the process like for getting an autism diagnosis and are there cheaper routes you can go that would still be credible? I’ve exhausted my expenses from years of jobs not paying my worth combined with money poured down the drain trying to get any sort of help with my kaleidoscope of issues, and at this point I’m too broke and demotivated and burnt out to figure out a way forward.

3. Has anyone been able to get partial or full disability who would be willing to hold my hand through the steps and keep me motivated? I know it’s a huge ask but I honestly get so anxious even thinking about the process that I completely shut down. At the very least, maybe you could explain what worked for you or how you would approach it better next time? I just moved far away from my support group so I’m feeling alone and even a word of caution or encouragement would help.

I know I’m not really as connected to this community as I used to be, but I’m hoping someone will get to the end of this and even a kind word or a smidge of sympathy/empathy would be nice. And please do reach out if you have fibro because I don’t meet many and it would be nice to have friends who can relate. Thank you for listening! 💜💜💜

[islitstillcool]

What is the point?: Let’s start 2021 with an existential crisis.

Story time.

I teach a liberal studies class that I didn’t even take when I went to this same school. (I tested out with AP credits.)

So on the first day of class this semester, I asked my students why they were taking this class. I made it clear that “because I have to” is a completely acceptable answer. They did not disappoint in that category. In all fairness, that’s how a lot of my liberal studies and elective classes were picked as well.

Then it was my turn, and I had a far more articulate, thought out answer because I had the unfair advantage of knowing that the question would be posed ahead of time.

I teach post-secondary literature because storytelling is built into the human brain. It’s a universal activity. And in standard college prep K-12 we get taught all of this mainstream, pre-formulated literary theory. Now, that is absolutely necessary - to prepare you for the next step of then doing your own analysis.

We have to analyze stories all day long because of the aforementioned built-in story mode we have, whether the story is a movie plot, where your boyfriend says he was last weekend, or whether there are space lasers aimed at California. If you can’t process that information, you’re screwed.

Now, if we turn to my inner self, you will find not a confident woman of letters, but rather a terrified millenial who remembers when Tom sold MySpace for $580 million and still can’t believe that people give her money, actual US currency, to guide people in an activity that is overall beneficial but does not 1:1 correlate with a skill you’d find on an Indeed.com listing.

Yes, you are becoming a more complete human being with your gen ed requirements. Yes, you will be a far less insufferable employee and coworker. Good luck spinning that in your interview. I might have to turn you over to the Comm people for that one.

And what am I even doing? Modeling and giving opportunities for practice. Employing Socratic questioning. Exposing students to new things.

Hold on. I’m actually talking myself down. Cool.

I’m about to tell on myself a little bit. That Baurlein article? The angsty one bemoaning the loss of the idealistic, probably-never-all-that-real, mentor-mentee relationship? I feel that. I have a lot of difficulty with interpersonal relationships (unexpectedly deep moment), but man if I didn’t wish for more direct guidance in how to become what I wanted to be.

I was a little bit ready to throw hands with Drezner at the beginning of his rebuttal.

But he’s right. I know he’s right. The demographics have shifted, and we live in a very different social and economic landscape. It feels like the BA is the new high school diploma in a lot of ways.

Tiny digression: I found a job listing for a secretary position that required a BA and said something like “top 20 university preferred.” I died laughing and saved it. I’ll post it if I find it.

In our current world, post-secondary education is utilitarian, not a leisure activity. I remember reading The Help and being floored that girls would walk away from a university education to just get pregnant and organize toilet donations.

I just found out that my late grandmother went to college. If that woman ever had a job, I was never told. Meanwhile, in the year of our Lord 2021, I’m hyperventilating at the prospect of not immediately finding a job in my field. (CPCC, call me!)

My father is suggesting I learn computer coding. My mother keeps asking if it’s too late for med school. ($300 and four hours of my life “wasted” on the MCAT.) A lot of people theorize that my generation was the last one that went to college out of any sort of optimism. It’s bleak! I understand why I’ve got these kids reading Jane Austen purely out of obligation.

John Mulaney is not helping, by the way. (4:25 is your relevant clip. It stings.)

And after they read it, presuming they don’t lie to me and just Spark Note it, are we having a deep, meaningful conversation about the language and themes? Sure, if you consider an intimate gathering to be your thirty closest friends. Especially if only like three of those friends are chatty, and they’re all trying to talk to you instead of each other. In that context, the British mentor system described by Barre is a dream [and a source of anxiety (interpersonal difficulties, remember?)].

Every one of those anxious party guests has their own way of learning as well. Will I ever learn a Rubix cube by watching someone solve it or by reading an explanation? Absolutely not. I can make that unequivocal statement right now. I have to hold it, and I have to do it myself. But I still need a teacher. I just need the teacher to give me the steps and then step back and let me make a mess of the cube for a bit, step in if I’m going way too far in the wrong direction. The teacher is still necessary, though.

Maybe we need to go back to the one student, one teacher model. Like the Sith. That would really drive up tuition prices, though....

#education #pedagogy #teacher #crisis #english #john mulaney #lotr #rant #rubix cube #long #philosophy

[gaytransimagines]

ohhh mods u should share some of ur favorite dr ship headcanons!!

Mod Taka was an idiot and forgot to take his meds to day so he’s real glad you asked this!

for Mod Taka

I like the idea of sakuraoi and ishimondo double dates, and hanging out with each other in all sorts of combinations, since you got big muscle (Sakura & Mondo spotting each other at the gym), big loud (Hina & Taka, I really love the idea of them being good friends & them both being trans and very gay), big ADHD (Hina & Mondo, they’re supposed to be studying while their s.o.’s are studying but they get so far off topic that they wind up doing 8 other things that needed to be done anyway), and big serious (Sakura & Taka, who are supposed to be studying and wind up getting fired up about something else altogether no matter who calm Sakura usually is, Taka just does that).

This is general and maybe just canon but I also really like Hina treating Sakura as super dainty and like the absolute princess that she is. I also like Ibuki doing that with Mikan because Mikan deserves someone who just utterly adores her and treats her good.

I made a post like this on my main blog but my headcanon for fuyupeko is that Fuyuhiko is about Peko the same way John Mulaney is about his wife, i.e. “My wife is a bitch, and I like her so much!”

Ishimondo’s my main ship but most of my headcanons about them are like, about Taka being way more forward than Mondo is? And I think I tend to write him that way a lot. Up there is “Mondo is the little spoon” and “Taka is sure they are dating but Mondo is so slow on the uptake that he still thinks he has to court Taka so they’re on different wavelengths for like eight months.”

for Mod Komaeda

For sakuraoi, them trying to wake each other up with breakfast or other cute things, but because they both wake up so early it’s hard to actually accomplish that, so they wind up being like “hey can you pretend to be asleep for a little longer, I wanted to treat you”.

For Komaeda/Gundham, that Komaeda really gets along with all of Gundham’s pets and loves them, and is like “I love you so much, but I’m honestly I’m here for the Devas” (to which Gundham is obviously like “Wise choice!”). 

Kyouko spends time learning to code on her own so that she can understand what Chihiro is talking about next time without having to interrupt her, and that Chihiro’s one (1) anxiety override is “assist and defend girlfriend”.

For naekusaba that the two took SO LONG like MONTHS to talk to each other because they were both too bi and would just kind of internally scream for a bit after seeing the other smile.

Mod Mondo is on the road back home at the moment, so he’ll reblog this with his additions when he gets back. All he has for right now is that Mondo actually likes to have his hair played with and styled by Taka.

#mod taka #not requests #i'll probably go and update one of our pages since we've had movement on the blog recently! #[redacted] asks #answers.txt