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vanfleeter · 11 months

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Six Weeks // JTK

Pairing: Jake x Reader

Warning: Fluff

Author's Note: Full House has been inspiring me lately. Quick little Jake blurb.

Summary: You and Jake begin making plans for your wedding.

Relaxing in the living room with his guitar resting on his lap, Jake strums a random melody that’s been swimming around in his head for the past three days. He’s so focused on his playing that he doesn’t even notice you walking into the room. That is until you’re sitting in front of him on the coffee table. He lifts his eyes to look at you, not once faltering as he continues playing.

You give him a wide smile and he chuckles.

“Okay..” He smiles as he halts his playing and puts his guitar off to the side. “What do you want?”

“Your mom’s asking if we picked a venue and a date yet.” You say.

“No, we haven’t.” He says. “Though we should soon.”

“Yes and I was thinking we could do that now,” You say. “If you don’t mind.”

Jake shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t mind.”

“Great. Do you have any ideas?” You say as you move to sit next to him on the couch.

“Pirates.”

Your shoulders drop. “Pirates?” Jake eagerly nods his head. “Jake, I adore your love for pirates, you know I do. But I do not want pirates at our wedding.”

“Oh come on babe, think about it.” Jake stands from the couch and walks around the room. “It’d be so much fun.”

“So not happening.”

“Okay, so what do you have in mind?”

“I was thinking maybe something simple, small. Oh there's this perfect little white chapel in my hometown that would just be the most beautiful place to have it.”

“Babe, it’s too country for me.”

You feign offense. “No it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. I am not wearing cowboy boots and yelling “yeehaw” when we tie the knot.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “You won’t have to wear cowboy boots and yell “yeehaw”. But I don’t want to struggle down the aisle wearing a dress that cuts off all air to my lungs and looking like I just stepped out of a Johnny Depp movie.”

The front door opens and Josh steps into the house. “Well hello my lovely engaged couple. Have we settled on a place and date yet?”

“Currently figuring that out now.” Jake says. “But she doesn’t like my ideas.”

“Let me guess, pirates?” Josh says, raising an eyebrow.

“He wants to dress as a pirate.” You say as you stand from the couch.

“I don’t think mom would like that either.” Josh says, noting the look on your face.

“Well help us out here.” Jake says.

“Umm no..” Josh says, shaking his head. “I really only came by to pick up those lyric sheets.”

“Oh right, right.” Jake sighs. “I’ll be right back.”

When he leaves the room, you grab hold of Josh’s shirt in the grip of your hands. “Help me please.” You beg.

“Woah there babe,” He says, prying your hands off of his shirt. “Damn, I just ironed this shirt too.”

“You gotta convince Jake to pick the white chapel. Please. It’s super simple and small and intimate.”

“Babe, I don’t like meddling with yours and Jake’s issues. Especially something like this.”

“If you don’t do this, you’re gonna be standing on that altar wearing a pirate costume.”

“Would it be that bad?”

“Oh Josh..”

He laughs and lays his hands on your shoulders. “I’m kidding.. But like I said, I’m not meddling.”

You groan and stomp your foot. “You suck..”

Jake comes back into the living room and hands the lyric sheets to Josh. “I added a few more things, I hope you don’t mind.”

Josh shakes his head. “Not at all.” He says as he reads what Jake added. “In fact I think you made it more intimate.” He says and shoots you a wink.

Jake narrows his eyes at you. “What’d you tell him?”

You shake your head. “Nothing.”

“I have to go.” Josh says. “Have fun!” He quickly slips out of the living room slamming the front door closed behind him.

Jake folds his arms over his chest. “Let’s compromise.” He says.

“Okay, compromise how?”

“I’ll do small and intimate but you have to-”

“I’ll let you dress like Johnny Depp.”

“Hoop earrings?”

“Fine.”

“Okay so we’ve got that settled,” Jake says as he pulls you into his arms. “What about a date?”

“It has to be special.” You say looking up at him.

“What if we made it easy?” He says. “Make it the day we met.”

“That would be perfect.” You say.

“Alright then it’s all done,” He says. “I’ll call the chapel in the morning and get it booked.”

“Jake..”

“Yeah?”

“Tomorrow is Sunday. The preacher won’t be available.”

“Mmmkay, I’ll call on Monday.” He says. He hugs you tightly. “Geez, can you believe that in six weeks we’ll be married?”

You smack your hands to his chest. “Six weeks?!” You exclaim. “Shit, Jake! That means we only have six weeks to find my dress and you need a tux and catering and we can’t forget about the flowers. Oh god, we have to get the save the dates out and the invites and–”

“Babe, babe!” Jake chuckles. “It’s going to be okay. You’re freaking out over things that we can get help with.”

“What if we eloped?” You say. “Quick and simple and-”

“No offense babe, I’d marry you tonight if we could but my mother would kill me if she doesn’t get to see us get married.” He grabs your hands. “Listen, I’m calling the chapel on Monday and after that I’ll rope Josh into helping me find a caterer while you go with Ronnie and my mom to look for a dress.” He still holds your hands and presses a gentle kiss to the top of your knuckles. “We can do this."

O fim

#jake kiszka #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fic #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka fic #greta van fleet fanfic #jake kiszka fluff #fluff

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saintmeghanmarkle · 6 months

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A B C D or even Z list? by u/narcwatchkiwi

A, B, C, D or even Z list? Hi All,I'm genuinely curious about how the A, B, C, D list works. Was MM ever B list? Apparently the B list includes actors like Nicholas Cage, who is very famous. Apparently the D-list includes reality and celebrity game show stars, but apparently MM was rejected from reality TV shows, and celebrity game shows 'Strictly Come Dancing' and also 'Made in Chelsea'. So, she might not have even been D list...I found this definition below.“A-list” actors are exceptionally successful, their (celebrity) extends beyond the silver screen, and their name guarantees a box office hit. Some “A-list” actors include: Will Smith, Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Angelina Jolie, Meryl Streep, and Johnny Depp...“B-list” actors are usually television actors or less successful movie stars. Some “B-list” actors include: Nicholas Cage, Katherine Heigl, David Morse, Samantha Morton, and Pierce Brosnan. “B-list” actors usually never headline a film by themselves; this means the supporting actors are usually fairly notable too.A “C-list” actor is a character actor that’s known by face and not by name. They are usually still good actors, but they receive less (celebrity) than an A or B-list actor.“D-list” actors are the lowest on the celebrity hierarchy; they appear on celebrity game shows and reality television.So I looked up Z-list...Z-list celebrity"Usually an ex-reality show star or marginally talented has-been actor/entertainer who hasn't grasped that their 15 minutes of fame expired at least 26 months ago. Often seen on game shows, Home Shopping Network, Dancing With The Stars, infomercials at 3:00am, VH-1, truTV, even worse reality shows, or Where Are They Now? blurbs on Facebook.They aggressively pursue facetime on TV for interviews or insert themselves into Hollywood galas to which they have not been invited. Occasionally they will create personal drama, no matter how embarrassing, believing that no publicity is bad publicity.- Urban Dictionary.Oh dear!Taxi driver involved in the Harkles 'Near catastrophic car chase' post link: https://ift.tt/8MtPCDh author: narcwatchkiwi submitted: November 01, 2023 at 04:12AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

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of-stars-and-pens · 1 year

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Pairing: Johnny Depp and Reader

Fandom: RPF

Inspiration/Request: Random blurb I found on a list that I’ve since misplaced… And Johnny’s win in court!

Warnings:

A/N: Holy shit. I started this fic forever and a day ago, but here we goooo~

“I remember the first time we met.”

“I wish you didn’t,” you teased back. “My hair was a mess.” You turned to look at him, catching him staring for the briefest moment.

Johnny looked away, shaking his head with closed eyes and a smile only Johnny could have. There was a gentle chuckle before his gaze returned to you.

“I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” Johnny said sweetly, reaching over and taking your hand in his.

He looked at the growing number of people in your area and frowned while you laughed, covering your mouth.

The movie itself hadn’t started yet, thankfully, but more and more people were taking their seats for the premiere and the sheer amount of people was starting to feel uncomfortable for both of you. Still. It was a mutual friend’s movie you were here to watch and there would certainly be discussions at the afterparty and maybe the after-after party if the two of you were up for that. You weren’t used to events like this and you lacked the stamina needed to be out partying until the sun rose. Johnny didn’t seem to mind, which felt like a blessing considering you were new to this world.

“You looked like you’d stepped out of a time machine or something. With your pulled back and styled that way, and your dress? I was convinced a fucking goddess was gracing us with her presence. Aphrodite herself had stepped down from Mt. Olympus to mingle with us mortals.”

“That explains why you were looking at me so much. I thought I’d done something to piss you off or something,” you admitted softly.

Johnny chuckled and pulled away, shifting his posture in the chair. “No, Darling. That’s not what was happening–I was trying to figure out how to talk to you.”

You looked at him, watching him closely as you rubbed your belly.

He still held your hand but he was leaning away from you, his elbow propped up on the arm rest, his hand stroking his chin as he looked at the empty screen in front of you. There was something on his mind, and you couldn’t get a good read on him or his thoughts.

You frowned when he looked at you: his eyebrows were raised as he looked at you with interest, as if waiting for you to say something. Adjusting so he was leaning towards you now, his ear aimed at you to hear you better as the room started getting louder. His elbow and hand stayed where they had been despite his chin no longer being there.

You leaned over a little to be closer to him as you spoke, hoping he’d hear you.

“What’s on your mind?” You asked, looking at him concerned. “You look lost in your own little world. Are you okay, or do we need to go somewhere so you can get grounded?”

“I’m fine,” he assured with a smile as he sat up and looked at you. “I was just thinking.”

“About?”

“You. The night we met. How shy you were when Janice introduced us.”

His smile didn’t convince you that that was really what he had been thinking of, but you weren’t going to push it here. You weren’t worrying about it escalating into a fight or anything like that–just the opposite. You didn’t want him to get emotional over something in public. He was a very private person, all things considered, and you respected that.

You smiled, and he took that as an invitation to continue. He leaned closer to you again, and you leaned your head over so your ear was closer to his lips.

“I was wondering what it would take to get you to open up, break that shyness.” He chuckled. “And then she told me about your poster, and–”

“I still haven’t forgiven her for that,” you interrupted, smiling to yourself as he laughed.

His gaze met yours as you turned towards him. Even as his laughter stopped, the joy in his eyes made your chest feel warm in the best way.

You loved this man, and knowing he loved you too was unimaginable. You wouldn’t believe this was even a possibility if it wasn’t for the fact you’d woken up to breakfast in bed. Your favorite too–made by Johnny. This was a dream you had once, but waking up every morning to it being your reality? Incredible.

And he was so painfully kind to you; knowing the pain he’d experienced in the past broke your heart. The two of you had been through so much that all you wanted was to make the other happy. The doting took so many shapes–from him getting a small tattoo to match one you had already gotten to you playing hostess to his guests: making sure that they had full glasses and full bellies. The love the two of you shared was unrivaled, and it warmed those around you. Even his children liked you, something you never expected but were so incredibly thankful for. Days out shopping with Lily-Rose were something you cherished.

There were times he would ask you to pose for his paintings, or ask you to listen to the music he’d been writing.

He made you feel safe. Whenever there was a bump in the night, he would investigate.

You were his muse, and he was your home, and that was all that mattered.

#Johnny Depp x Reader #rpf #a queue like you #i made this for you

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movies-to-add-to-your-tbw · 13 days

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Title: Corpse Bride

Rating: PG

Director: Tim Burton, Mike Johnson

Cast: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Emily Watson, Tracey Ullman, Paul Whitehouse, Joanna Lumley, Albert Finney, Richard E. Grant, Christopher Lee, Michael Gough, Jane Horrocks, Enn Reitel, Deep Roy, Danny Elfman, Stephen Ballantyne, Lisa Kay

Release year: 2005

Genres: fantasy, romance, horror

Blurb: Victor is a young man whisked away to the underworld and wed to a mysterious corpse bride, while his real bride Victoria waits bereft in the land of the living.

#corpse bride #pg #tim burton #mike johnson #johnny depp #helena bonham carter #emily watson #tracey ullman #paul whitehouse #2005 #fantasy #romance #horror

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jadedaceofspades · 1 year

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I posted 6,879 times in 2022

That's 6,871 more posts than 2021!

1,171 posts created (17%)

5,708 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ace-pervert

@knightoflodis

@careful-knives

@jadedaceofspades

@delusion-of-negation

I tagged 328 of my posts in 2022

#justice for johnny depp - 10 posts

#npd safe - 8 posts

#personal - 7 posts

#**snorts** - 6 posts

#youtube - 6 posts

#personal blurb - 6 posts

#donation post - 6 posts

#bdylanhollis - 6 posts

#the chocolate guy - 5 posts

#amaury guichon - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#as someone with personality disorders it's imperative we don't use our pds as crutches because when we are in the wrong we need to admit it

My Top Posts in 2022:

I love both Amaury and Dylan but for two different reasons. Amaury is smooth with putting together the ingredients, quiet, takes his time perfecting his art... And then you have Dylan, who is just pure chaos and loud, but extremely entertaining.

Dylan makes recipes that are edible and Amaury makes food that's pretty to look at, but you can tell they both enjoy it.

242 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake from 1956

You know, emulsified eggs and oil mixed with other cake ingredients to make cake and this apparently is served in the restaurant Portillo’s.

Just an additive so y’all don’t have to put in the tags what mayonnaise consists of and I have to see a million times lol.

See the full post

267 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

Scotcharoos from 1965, bdylanhollis

See the full post

289 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

638 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Leftover Bread Pancakes from 1947

2,102 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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imaginesbyjay · 5 years

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Romantic Getaway with Johnny Depp

Pairing: Johnny Depp x reader

Requested: yes

Summary: You and your boyfriend Johnny Depp decided to get away from the paparazzi in a beach cabin.

Word count: 471

---

He was the one that came up with the idea after you told him you wanted to spend some time alone without paparazzi following you.

You both decided that going to a resort near the beach for the weekend would be the best idea.

You’d have one little cabin for just the two of you.

He would pay the biggest part of the vacation because, let’s be honest, you could not afford it.

You would get there by airplane on Friday night.

Both of you would be so tired you would fall asleep during the flight on top of each other.

When the plane landed, a flight attendant had to wake you up as it was really late and you were really comfortable.

Sadly, she had to ask to take a picture with him and you couldn’t wait to get to the resort already.

Luckily, no one in the airport seemed to notice him and the suitcases arrived pretty soon so you left as fast as you could really wanting the peace from the lonely cabin on the beach.

A car from the resort came to the airport to pick you up.

Soon later you finally got to the resort.

Taking in the view and the warmth from the soft wind, Johnny wrapped his hands around your waist, both of you looking into the ocean.

The cabin was as beautiful.

It was far away from the others. You could barely see the people on the beach.

Once inside you went straight to bed from how tired you were.

The next morning you woke up in your boyfriend's arms, the sunlight coming through the soft curtains.

After several minutes of just looking to his features, he woke up.

“What are you looking at?”

Staying in bed for more minutes.

Finally getting up to remove the curtains that were blocking the view.

The golden light coming through making the water look even more transparent.

Neck kisses while watching the ocean.

Followed by a morning shower ;)

Spending most of the day swimming together, relaxing in the warm weather or walking hand by hand by the water.

At eating times asking the resort to bring the food to the cabin so you didn’t have to deal with the fans from the restaurant.

Enjoying all the alone time.

Not missing the fans or the paparazzi at all.

Hands always touching each other.

Lots of kissing and make-out sessions.

Still being careful that someone might be watching you just by habit.

Him reassuring you that no one is there and that there is nothing to worry about.

Every day ending in sex.

Not wanting to leave and coming back at least once a month to keep both of you sane.

Every time is even better than the previous one.

Coming back home to the same routine and can't wait for the next romantic getaway.

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boop-le-snoot · 2 years

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⚡ Welcome to Bun's Cockstop! This is a place where I thirst over cute dirty old men! Most of my works can also be found on AO3 (here). This is my taglist!

⚡ My name is Bun/Bunny. I am a slavic/baltic afab agender queer gremlin and I go by any pronouns, however most of my writing caters to people who use she/her pronouns and possess afab body parts. I do take requests for nb/male reader stories & I have no problems with using neopronouns as well.

⚡ I do not write RPF (real person fiction). That said, any kind of drama mongering, moral policing and other purity culture bullshit is not welcome on my blog. At best, I will block you; if you annoy me enough, I just might be inclined to prove your opinion wrong (with citations).

⚡ I am pro-ship, pro-dark!fic, I think sex work is work, I don't support communism (and Russia! seriously, GTFO), I believe Johnny Depp and I support the death penalty for crimes against children. If you find yourself wanting to argue w/me about these topics, don't waste our time and block me.

⚡ I communicate in English and Russian and understand several more assorted languages. Don't be shy and say hello 😌 This is my Spotify, and this is what I look like! <3

⚡ My blog is meant for an adult audience. It will contain topics such as sex and various kinks, drugs, trauma, queer stuff and lots of rock-'n'-roll. All the things I post are tagged accordingly, therefore it is your responsibility to block the tags/blacklist the content you do not wish to see. You choose the content you consume & I am not here to babysit.

⚡ this is a post of marvel author recommendations, tony-stephen-bruce heavy

🌻 DONATE DIRECTLY TO UKRAINIAN PEOPLE IN NEED! EVEN $8 CAN HELP! Click this link - it's a charity set up by the Ukrainias themselves & it offers direct donations with maximum transparency.

⚡ masterlist below spoiler ⚡ stories marked with an asterisk* contain adult content ⚡

⚡ multichapter fics ⚡

party favours | tony stark x bruce banner x stephen strange x reader ot4) | explicit | ~120k words | completed

practical alchemy | witch!reader x established!ironstrange | explicit | in progress (hiatus until spring)

⚡one-shots⚡

helmut zemo | marmalade taffy* |

sam wilson | bad touch* | violent delights* (content warning) |

loki | if life gives you melons* | bondage* (nb reader, they/them) | snow day* (male reader) |

natasha romanoff | hot wheels* |

wanda maximoff | caught |

bucky barnes | bother figure (daughter!reader) |

thor | idunn's apples | hired man* (dubcon) | beloved, bejeweled |

otto octavius / doc ock | horny headcanons* | i want to kill you like they do in the movies - part 1 - part 2* - part 3* (fin) |

steve rogers | it drives me wild* |

⚡ blurb series ⚡

daddy!ironstrange - daddy lessons* | part one | part two |

#marvel fanfiction #marvel masterlist #mcu masterlist #mcu fanfiction #tony stark x reader #stephen strange x reader #otto octavius x reader #bruce banner x reader #sam wilson x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #helmut zemo x reader #loki x reader #thor x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bun writes

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fandom-puff · 2 years

Note

Dear Reader -> send me a prompt and I will write a baby blurb

Cym as your comfort movies and/or shows 💗

Omg <3

You as How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Jim Carey version obv 👹 idk if u need an explanation for that x

@pinkandblueblurbs as Benidorm cos it just radiates chaotic energy x

@thebadgerclan as Willy Wonka (Johnny Depp version) bc ur sweet and creative just like Willy wonka x

@retromafia as Blue Planet (the David Attenborough documentary about the oceans and the seas) because I get rlly chill vibes and Blue planet makes me calm

@theshelbyclan as The Death of Stalin bc the dry but hilarious humour in it remind me of your Shelby sis fics <3

@peakyswritings as Matilda because it’s one of my favourite films but I haven’t seen it in a while, but whenever I do see it I smile :)

#8k: unsub

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yup-thats-me · 2 years

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Surprise puppies - Johnny Depp x reader

Johnny Depp and the prompt “Shh… everything is going to be okay, I promise.” request by @too-oldtobeafangirl

pairing: Johnny Depp x reader

warning/this post contains: puppies, golden retrievers, vet hospitals, a bit crying, forehead kisses, the word dog-bang(?), fluff

summary: your dog, Daisy, is unexpectedly pregnant.

a/n:my brain basically stopped working. Hope this is okay also no angst 🙂

masterlist

PLEASE IF ANY OF THE THINGS MENTIONED ABOVE TRIGGERS YOU DO NOT PROCEED

"Daisy? girl where are you?" You called your pet

Johnny was in the bedroom on his phone when the door burst opened to reveal you gasping for air. "What's working, love?" He immediately walked to you.

"Dasiy-she, she-she's passed out!" You exclaimed breathlessly. "We need to get her to the vet."

Without wasting a minute, he took his car keys and went downstairs with you to where the dog laid unconscious. He picked her up, while you locked the house door and opened the car for him to set Daisy on the backseat.

He got in as well and you too your seat beside you dog in the backseat. He began driving to the vet hospital.

Daisy was your dog. Johnny had gifted you her on your second anniversary. Now, she was a bit older than nine years. Meaning, you both been together for ten years and Daisy was there with you since the last nine years. Naturally, she was your child at this point. If anything happened to her, you'd rather not think about what you'd do.

As soon as you reached the hospital, Johnny and you rushed to the emergency wing. "Help! She's passed out", Johnny called for a nurse. As you were walking, your eyes had began to water already.

A nurse came and he took Daisy from Johnny's arms and took you to the main building. You reached a room with a only a bed in it. A doctor came in soon enough.

"What happened?" She asked checking Daisy's eyes with a torch.

"We don't know. I was searching for her when i found her out in the living room," you answered.

Your hands were shaking out of anxiety. Johnny took a notice of it and put his hand on your waist pulling you in his chest, and placed a kiss on your forehead.

After taking her heart rate, the doctor faced you two. "Did you know she was pregnant?"

Your eyes blew wide at the revelation. Daisy didn't showed even a single sign that she was pregnant. "No...we didn't," Johnny answered for you.

Teb doctor breathed in deeply. " We have to perform a c-section. She's in labour now," she turned to the nurse again. "Hurry up! Bring her to the operation theatre!"

With that, the nurse picked Daisy from the bed and went for the OT. You both were instructed to wait in the lobby.

You were worried for her. All the negative thoughts filled your mind, making you cry. Johnny sat you on a chair and held you close to him.

He cared for Daisy too, but he had to make sure you were alright. He knew how emotional you can be. He hugged you sideways as sat on the chair beside you.

Johnny rocked you back and forth to calm you.

“Shh… everything is going to be okay, I promise.”

You kept on continued to sob on his chest, wetting his shirt in the process bit neither of you cared at the moment.

"Will she be okay?" You asked, your voice hoarse.

He smiled at you lightly. "Of course she will. She's atlast, our girl."

–

It had now been forty minutes since they toon Daisy. You've calmed down from before, now just chatting with Johnny when the same nurse frn earlier arrived. "She had given birth," he smiled.

You jumped up from your seat in joy, making Johnny chuckle loudly. "You can meet her if you want," the nurse said.

"Of course we will see her."

The nurse guided you to the OT where your Daisy lay awake with her litter. Getting closer to her bed, you were overjoyed to see your Daisy had birthed to twelve healthy puppies.

You sighed sitting on the bed beside her as she licked your hand, your finger gliding through her golden fur.

"It's good to see puppies but who banged you Daisy?" You asked the dog.

The entire room erupted in laughter hearing your words. You laugh alongside them. "Who's the dad, Daisy?" You asked again this time in amore serious toen making the dog look down in guilty.

"Maybe the Simon's?" Johnny suggested, peting his dog. "Ah. You naughty girl. Where you did it? His or your background?" You giggled.

After Johnny did all the formalities, Daisy was discharged home. You grabbed a larger dog bed on the way and some milk. You reached home, and while Johnny set the bed, you made milk for the puppies.

You watched as the puppies tried to open their eyes, and Daisy lick them clean. Sitting beside Johnny on the floor before the dog bed, you gave out a content sigh.

"God I love dogs." Johnny nodded his head in agreement.

#johnny depp x reader #johnny depp imagine #johnny depp fluff #johnny depp #johnny depp blurb

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burning-the-write-oil · 3 years

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Untitled Blurb

Summary: Yet another bedroom scene where I’m obsessing over tattoos and smoking. (this is literal thirst)

Pairings: Johnny Depp/F!Reader

Words: 925

Rating: PG-13/Mature

Warnings: suggestive content, some nudity, smoking

A/N: I don’t have anything to explain this besides saying it’s just me being thirsty. This is one of the few times I’ve just written non-stop when an idea pops into my mind, so I’m not as confident about this one lol. I’m also going to tag @depplyimagines since their fics have definitely inspired me. I hope you enjoy though, if you do read! Feel free to also check out my other fics and please like, reblog, or comment!

Masterlist

Afterglow (noun) af·ter·glow | \ ˈaf-tər-ˌglō: a pleasant effect or feeling that lingers after something is done, experienced, or achieved.

This was often the only word that came to mind after our nights together. That word and his name. Afterglow was better than any other high from a drug and if it always involved the intoxicating scent of his cologne and sweat, the numbness felt in my thighs, and raw throat, I’d take it over any drug someone offered me.

I reached over the side of the bed nearest to me, grabbing a pillow that had fallen to the floor and placing it behind my bed. I laid on my back, pulling the sheets and blankets to cover my bare chest. The sweat that covered my chest and back was starting to evaporate and left me with chills.

I glanced over to see him now propping his back against the white cushioned headboard, tucking strands of his dark hair behind his ears. He reached over to the nightstand on his side of the bed, grabbing the cigarette pack and opening it to find the licorice paper inside. I watched him carefully roll the paper around the substance before sealing it and bringing it to his lips. My eyes dragged down his chest as I heard the flick of the lighter and saw the cloud of smoke from the corner of my eye. I barely realized my hand reaching out to trace my fingers lightly over the ink near his collarbone.

“They haven’t gone anywhere.” His voice teased as he saw me eyeing the ink and I quickly pulled my hand away to look up at him.

He smirked down at me, slowly exhaling a puff of smoke from his lips. Watching someone smoke had no business being that hot, even though I despised the fact that he did it.

“I can’t admire you?” I grinned back, turning over onto my stomach and propping my chin up with a hand to meet his eyes.

“Much better you just letting me admire you.”

I rolled my eyes at his comment. The lights on the sides of the headboard providing a soft glow around him that made his tan complexion even more stunning than it already was. My eyes then caught the red streaks that ran down his chest and the crescent marks near his shoulders. He followed my gaze before bringing his free hand towards me and brushing his thumb and index finger along my chin and jaw. My eyes were completely focused on his, lips barely parted.

“Dangerous one, you are.”

I leaned into his touch, fully at will to anything he would’ve asked me to do at that moment.

“I didn’t hurt you?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart.” He assured, bringing the cigarette to his lips again, leaning his head back against the headboard.

I shifted to lay my head on top of the blankets covering his lower half, now eyeing the tattoos that adorned his arms and the rest of his torso.

“I love your tattoos,” I mumbled as I brought his left arm closer to get a better look at them. Even though I’d seen all the ink on his body before and asked him to tell me about a number of them, I still loved hearing him talk about them.

“Yeah?” Another cloud of smoke fell from his lips as he spoke, looking down at me.

“Beautiful.” I barely spoke, brushing my lips over the words and art that were in my reach.

He then moved his hand to gently cup the side of my face and I could feel the rough skin of his fingers on my face as his thumb stroked back and forth.

“So where are you headed next, Mr. world traveler?” I asked with a small smile, shutting my eyes at his touch. I’d called him that on occasion as he had to obviously travel frequently for his job.

“Going to try and stow away in my suitcase?” He laughed, eyeing me playfully.

“I don’t think that would work out well for either of us.” I giggled, turning my head to kiss the palm of his hand.

“You may have a point there.” He hummed in agreement, nodding his head teasingly as if seriously considering your point.

I couldn’t help but grin up at him. He knew I was sad about him having to leave tonight, so he did whatever he could to make me smile. Glancing over at the clock beside the bed, I pushed the sheets away from my chest, moving to now straddle his thighs. He raised a brow with a growing smirk, taking one more drag of the tobacco before putting it out in the ashtray on the nightstand.

“We’ve still got half an hour left…” My voice tapered off, shrugging innocently as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“I guess we do.” He locked eyes with mine, leaning forward ever so slightly and gently running his hands down the sides of my bare torso. “Something you want?”

“You.” I breathed, dropping my head to the crook of his neck, gently pressing kisses along the skin.

He slowly moved his hands up to grasp my bare breasts, index fingers and thumbs brushing over my nipples. They were still sore from his attention to them earlier and I shivered.

“Sure you can handle it?” He teased, lowering his voice ever so slightly as he brushed a few strands of my hair over my shoulder.

I resisted the urge of rolling my eyes as I answered him, “God yes.”

#my writing #johnny depp #johnny depp fanfic #johnny depp x reader #fanfiction #fluff #resubmission since the other wasn't showing up

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adhdortraumaorboth · 3 years

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FANFICTION

LOST

short fics

stories

blurbs

imagines

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short fics

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stories

imagines

Marvel Cinematic Universe

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#the arcana #marvel cinematic universe #until dawn #harry potter #the witcher #five nights at freddy's #johnny depp characters #original story #black history #hawaiian history #mental health #small business #workers #food #twilight #the outsiders

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7soulstars · 3 years

Note

*kneeling dramatically in front of your throne* greetings my queen Hri! i hope you're doing well and taking good care of yourself 💕 i just read your johnny depp hcs and it's perfect .. i have sufferd from eating disorders for years and i know you got everything right, angel.. thank you so much for being so kind and supportive to all of us😻✨

as you know i've been thristing over legolas lately 🙊 so i thought of requesting something cute with him, if you don't mind writing it ofcourse, maybe he and y/n got lost in the woods and y/n is freaking out cause it's like her biggest fear actually happening but legolas so chill and is secretly happy cause it means he gets to spend more time with her, you can take it from here or develop it however you like 💕✨ thank you again love 😻

You sopil me soo much! Ugh I love it ! I’m glad you liked the hc I was really scared that I may have hurt someone or may have triggered them ! I hope your all better now and I know how much strength it takes to take a disorder down,,,,, Also I live for this Legolas fic req because we all know how much of a cheeky little shit he is! So lets go!!

Taur-o Thilivern Lie

Characters: Legolas x Reader

Warnings: Arachnophobia?, mention of blood,Sugar Rush Inducing Fluff that makes our local elf dad want to puke

Summary: Legolas and Y/N get lost in the woods one is praying for time to go faster, the other to go slow....

.............

Taur-o Thilivern Lie ; Elvish for The Woods of White Lies

“Legolas.....”

“Y/N.....”

“We are lost aren’t we ?”

“.........Yes........”

The duo stood there in silence,only the cawing of a raven echoing in the background as the elven prince watched the woman turn stiff as a board. Not even a second later Y/N started walking in circles before stopping infront of the prince and looked him straight in the eye. “D-Don’t worry Legolas I’ll get us out of here”, she said puffing her chest as the her voice betrayed her actions.

Legolas did not say much he just nodded and walked behind Y/N who was stopping every two minutes of their walk. Well at least not until they reached a very dark and damp part of the forest.

“Oh must be where the huge spider lives”,Legolas unconciously let the words slip his mouth.

“SPIDERS !?”

“Yes-”, his words were cut off as Y/N bolted across the trees screaming with no heed to the direction she was going in.

“Y/N !”, Legolas yelled as he ran behind her a layer of raw worry painting across himself “Y/N stop you are going to hurt yourself !”, he yelled as that’s exactly what happened.

The ground beneath Y/N’s feet sloped and she toppled rolling down a small heap. The ellon ran towards her as he reached out for her arm but ended up getting pulled into a hug.

Y/N’s face was buried into his chest as he froze. Her shoulders were shaking and his tunic felt wetter by every second. If this was a different scenario then Legolas would have died blushing but currently he was too concerned.

“Y/N ? Y/N are you crying? Valar did I do something ! I’m-”

“You idiot !”, she cried bringing herself to face him. Her face covered with tears and snot which everyone else would have taught was disgusting but not to Legolas. "I thought we're going to die! I like you so much I don' wanna die so soon! I'm scared of spiders", she wailed incoherenty, bringing her head back into his chest unaware of the words that left her mouth in the panic.

Legolas wouldn't lie, he was enjoying the feeling of the girl in buried into his chest way and her words too much, as he wrapped his arms around her as he lightly scolding her, " That is why you must stick close to me Y/N! This forest is full of dangers and you are not well aware of that yet ! "

It was true. Y/N had never been to the forest. It had been new to her and now she is clinging into the the tunic of the Prince of Elves. "I'm sorry..... ", she whined, her voice muffling into his chest. Her head still buried into his chest, the prince decided to say, " Oh Valar! A spider! " to which the girl let out a ear piercing screech as she tried running out of his arms, her eyes still closed. "LEGOLAS!!"

He let out a loud laugh as he grabbed her waist and kept her in position, from running away. Her back was now rested on his chest, her head under his chin as he coaxed her to open her eyes. "Hey shh shhh, I was joking okay, open your eyes! Look! ...", and she did did as he said.

There lay a beautiful clearing in front of them, blue and orange flowers littered everywhere as the now setting sun shone upon them giving them a beautiful hue. Y/N's tears had dried replaced by the smile on her face as she sighed happily at the scene playing in front of her. "It's so beautiful..... ". Legolas looked at her, he had forgotten about the flowers "Cin are limb more" (You are much more)he mumbled. His words not reaching her ears.

Neither of them knew how much time passed by as the two sat on the grassy patch unaware of their seating position until Y/N snapped out of the trance standing up abruptly, her face flustered. "W-we should try finding our way back! It's getting darker." Legolas didn't notice his face twist. He looked like a kicked puppy whose owner wouldn't give him pats well , at least until there was a rustle from the bushes nearby. He got up in one swift motion pulling Y/N behind him and his bow and arrow in his hand, waiting for whatever was in the bushes to come out.

Rustle!

"Prince Legolas and Lady Y/N?"

"Haldir!?", the two looked at the march warden in disbelief.

"Haldir!" Y/N ran towards him and held his hand. "Thank god you're here we got lost!"

"Lost ?", the marchwarden questioned his eyebrow lifting as he glanced at the prince behind the lady who had patted his index finger on his own lip.

The horses galloped back to the palace Legolas sported an idiotic smile on his face and a very tired and asleep Y/N leaned on his chest as they rode along with Haldir.

"Since when does the prince who spent almost every day of his childhood in those woods get lost? ", Haldir asked playfully.

"Hollen or-" (shut up) mumbled the other. Still unable to wipe the grin off his face "I got confused.... ", he reasoned.

"Whatever you say..... ", Haldir chucked. " Well, it isn't called Taur-o Thilivern Lie for nothing ", he countinued.

"Indeed... ", Legit said in a good mood, for now he was sure he really wanted you...

--The End--

Me: *gets ready to be hit with Tomatoes*

Hey guys! I'm finally done with this blurb! It was for my babies @gorgeourrific-nerd and all of you! It's not my best work and Ik it's short but I really hope you like it! I worked hard for it! Please do keep sending in requests! It may take a while but I'll definitely do it! Feedback would be appreciated! I hope you like, comment and reblog my fics if you like them to support me! Please do not plagiarize my work I really work hard for it🥺.I love you guys!🥰🥰

~Love Hri

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dont-call-me-baby-posts · 2 years

Note

still not over the fact that anders just gave his father the fucking "goody bag"

HAHAHAHA my boy folded so easy. Very Gemini of him tbh. They didn’t even have to force it out of him either like they barely got two words in and he’s like ugh fine guys, take it 🙄 HSHSJS

ANWYAY here’s a blurb about the moments immediately after he gave his dad the goods. MAJOR TW. Also sorry if Anders isn’t very likable in this moment buuuut you have to understand he was not in a good way. Only to be cracking jokes about it a few hours later with Harry 🙃

///

Anders could hear his parents arguing through the walls, the bathroom backing up to his room through the wall just across from his bed. He buried his head under a pillow, but he could still hear it. Their words bounced off of each other and shattered on the tile flooring, his mother becoming more and more fucking hysterical as the seconds passed around him.

“He’s going to kill himself, Mike. What do you not understand about that?”

“I understand, honey. What else do you expect me to do, huh? We can’t just lock him up in his room forever.”

“We send him back to rehab is what we do! We can’t just let him get away with something like this.”

“We can’t send him to rehab if he isn’t on anything.”

“You honestly believe he’s been sober this entire time? Don’t be naive, Mike. You know how he is… he’s always been good at hiding things from us.”

“I do believe him. What more can we do?”

“What more can we do?” The scoff his mother let out in the pause between her words was sharp enough it reached Anders all the way across the room, piercing through his blankets he’d cocooned himself inside. “That’s nice, Mike. We’ll just let him do what he wants. But then it’ll be your fault when our son dies in our house.”

Anders shuttered through every silent second that ticked by. He was crying now, hard, but he knew when he got home that he was going to. He really had ruined everything- his career, his friendships, his parents marriage. What was next? Finally his dad spoke again.

“What even is this stuff, anyway?” He asked. Anders could hear the familiar jingle of pills inside an unmarked bottle, making his joints tense up all over.

“I don’t know.”

“I just wonder what it does. Is it fun for him? Does it make him feel good?”

It did, but not in the way his dad was probably thinking. He wasn’t addicted to fucking ecstasy or anything. Anders hated his dad for a second, imagining the way he must think of him. He imagined himself in the place of Johnny Depp, the lead character in his fathers version of “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.”

Anders heard his mother saunter down the hall into his parents bedroom that they rarely shared anymore. The door slammed behind her, followed by the sound of the toilet flushing. It continued like that for a long time as Anders counted along. 14 flushes.

Anders wanted to disappear. He wished for a second he would’ve just gotten rid of the drugs himself, or would’ve at least taken some of them before coming clean so he wouldn’t have had to feel so bad about everything. He wanted to talk to Y/N, or maybe Harry, but he didn’t want to worry them.

Suddenly the bedroom door opened slowly, the soft patter of his dads fingertips on the wood in his version of a knock. Anders flipped over quickly so he wouldn’t have to look him in his face.

“Are you alright, son?”

“Better than ever.”

It got quiet. There was a tension in the room that felt the way the spaces between fathers and their children always felt- slightly chilly and even more heavy. His dad sat on the mattress, making Anders strain against the bend of the bed to stay in his placed tucked against the wall.

“I just wanted to say-“

“Please don’t.” Anders whispered. “Whatever this is, it’s not necessary, okay? Whatever father son bullshit you’re about to lay on me, you can save it.”

“Don’t speak to me like that, Anderson.” His dad barked, though his tone did little to cover the emotion in his voice. “You’re going to listen to me, do you understand? Fix your tone.”

The silence weighed a thousand pounds, but Anders knew better than to talk back. It was like he was 16 again, getting in trouble after school for picking a fight with some asshole kid in the hallway.

(In fairness, Anders never really picked the fights as much as they picked him, his parents just acted like he did. There was one time in particular, a day Anders remembers vividly even now, where some kid named Johnathan had slapped some girl on the ass during passing period, and obviously Anders fucking decked him. Anders felt pretty good about it at the time, telling the principal that maybe he should care a little bit more about children being s*xually a*saulted in his hallways than him knocking some kid out. He felt a little less good about it when he got grounded for two weeks that night. He was banished to his bedroom, this same bedroom, because apparently even when Anders did the right thing it was still wrong. His parents had always treated him like a criminal, practically since he was born.)

“I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you for telling us the truth. I know that isn’t easy.”

“Why, because I’m a liar?”

“No-“ His dad sighed heavily. “Because it’s hard to be honest about… stuff like this. I won’t act like I don’t know that. I’ll leave you alone, but I just wanted to say thank you for trusting us. I know I don’t know what you’re going through-“

“Yeah, no fucking shit, dad.” Anders sniffled, sitting up straight. “You have no fucking clue. Do you know what it’s like to be here with her right now? She’s making this fucking impossible for me. This is, like, the last fucking place on earth I should be right now if I’m supposed to stay sober. Do you realize that? She’s making my life a fucking nightmare, twenty-four fucking seven.”

“Your mom loves you so much.”

“She fucking hates me. She always has. You think I don’t hear the way she talks about me? She can’t stand to be around me, and you know what? I can’t fucking stand her, either!”

Anders didn’t really mean it, but in this moment he did. His chest shook with heavy breaths he tried to keep even. He really did feel bad for raising his voice at his dad, who had in one way or another always been the one to take his side when it came to his mother. Even if he folded without much of a fight, his dad did always at least try to defend him.

“She makes sure I know every single fucking day how much better off she’d be without me. You both would be. And you expect me not to take it personally? Why would anybody want to live like this?”

“She doesn’t think that, and neither do I. Your mom… She’s struggling, okay? But she’s doing her best. We all are.”

“Well I must take after her, then, because her best isn’t very fucking good. I don’t want to fucking be here anymore. I don’t want to be anywhere anymore, I’m fucking tired of all of this. I’m done.”

“Don’t talk like that. You don’t mean it.”

“You think I don’t? What part of the last four months tells you I’m joking, huh? What, was it not obvious enough that I fucking mean every word of it?”

“Just because of the incident doesn’t mean-“

“Don’t fucking call it that!” Anders screamed. At this point his mother could hear every word, even down the hallway. “I tried to k*** m*****, dad! Say it with your chest, big man. You and mom haven’t said it once since I’ve been here, so go ahead and say it.”

His dad had that hard expression on his face the way he always did. “I’m sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to say that I’m proud.”

“You should’ve said that a long time ago, bro. I don’t give a shit if you’re proud of me now. You could’ve been proud when I got a record deal, or when I passed fucking algebra. You don’t get to be proud now.”

His father stood to leave, not bothering to offer a response. Anders didn’t want him to leave just yet, not because he wanted his company but because he had a lot to say. “I can’t fucking wait to leave here. You guys can live your perfect little life without me and mom can tell everybody what a “good kid” I am. You won’t even have to see me.” Anders paused to laugh. “But just wait until my face is all over the cover of every magazine in sixth months because I finally fucking did it. Mom won’t be able to lie to everyone then, will she? It’ll be fucking front page news what a shit parent she is! Maybe then she’ll actually give a fuck! You can’t convince me the only reason she’s so concerned about me dying isn’t solely because it’ll make her look bad.”

His dad frowned and shook his head, opening up the door. He sighed again. “We love you very much, Anderson. I just wanted you to know.”

“You fucking hate me and you know it.” Anders laughed. “Get the fuck out.”

And he did. Anders was left alone, again, weeping helplessly into his pillowcase. He didn’t mean any of it, really. But maybe he did. Either way, he’d said it and he couldn’t unsay it. He wanted to talk to Y/N but she had her own shit going on with Harry so he didn’t bother. He just tucked himself deeper into the space where the bed met the wall abs tried to force himself to sleep.

#but can we talk about his parents reaction versus Harry #like just the fact that Harry is probably the first person ever to actually not make Anders feel like shit about #like 🥺#blacking out and breaking hearts #bobh #Anders

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movies-to-add-to-your-tbw · 1 month

Text

Title: Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Rating: R

Director: Tim Burton

Cast: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jamie Campbell Bower, Laura Michelle Kelly, Jayne Wisener, Ed Sanders, Gracie May Weldon, Ava May, Jody Halse, Aron Paramor, Lee Whitlock, Nick Haverson

Release year: 2007

Genres: drama, horror

Blurb: Benjamin Barker (a.k.a. Sweeney Todd) sets up a barber shop down in London, which is the basis for a sinister partnership with his fellow tenant, Mrs. Lovett, and her bakery.

#sweeney todd the demon barber of fleet street #r #tim burton #johnny depp #helena bonham carter #alan rickman #timothy spall #sacha baron cohen #2007 #drama #horror

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vdoesbookrecs · 5 years

Text

Mini analysis - A Long Way Down

Blurb: ‘Can I explain why I wanted to jump off the top of a tower block?’

For disgraced TV presenter Martin Sharp the answer’s pretty simple: he has, in his own words, ‘pissed his life away’. And on New Year’s Eve he’s going to end it all ... but not, as it happens, alone. Because first single-mum Maureen, then eighteen-year-old Jess and lastly American rock-god JJ turn up and crash martin’s private party. They’ve stolen his idea- but brought their own reasons.

Yet it’s hard to jump when you’ve got an audience queuing impatiently behind you. A few heated words and some slices of pizza later and these four strangers are suddenly allies. But is their unlikely friendship a good enough reason to carry on living?

‘Extremely funny ...and wise’ -Sunday Times

‘A page-turning plot and rich, funny characters with several big laughs on every page...Hornby’s best yet.” -Library Review

‘Hornby pins down the age in which we live with precision and comic brilliance’ -Guardian

‘Hugely enjoyable’ -Irish Times

‘Masterful ...some of the finest writing, and some of the most outstanding characters I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading’ -Johnny Depp

‘Impossible to put down... enthralling’ -Ruth Rendell, Guardian

‘Hilarious yet heartbreaking’ -In Style

‘Generous and wise. Right rom the opening pages, a smile played continually across my face’ -GQ

‘Darkly comic’ -San Francisco Chronicle

‘Brilliant, smart and funny... a cello suite about how to go on living. It’s hard to imagine a novel more darkly and sublimely devoted to life’ -Boston Globe

‘Hornby’s portrayal of four characters who accidentally meet on top of a tower block, all ready to jump to their death on New Year’s Eve, manages to be sensitive and emphatic, but damn funny as well. My new Hornby favourite’ -Adam Philips, Observer

I’ve always been suspicious of books that have more reviews than blurb printed on the cover, and this confirms all my darkest fears and theories.

Structure and Intention: There are no chapters, instead the book is divided into three parts of about equal length. These three parts are further divided into sections where each of the four characters narrates a part. These individual narrations are between a half and about five pages long, change frequently, and are indicated by the name of the character set over the text in all capitals. The events of the book roughly follow Aristotele’s model for the ideal drama:

(note: I wanted to link the source and the website this is from apparently doesn’t exist anymore, sorry) At the very beginning we’ve got our exposition - four characters who all want to commit suicide meet. We are informed about the place (Topper’s House, London), the time (around midnight), the characters (Maureen, Martin, Jess, JJ) and get first information about them (mostly their motivations for trying to throw themselves off a building). Then we’ve got our falling action - at the end of the first part, a pact is formed: The characters agree to meet again on Valentine’s Day, and not kill themselves until then. Then we’ve got our climax (the witnessed suicide on Valentine’s) at the very end of the second part, after quite a bit of rising action (the newspaper fiasco, the interview on Martin’s show, the vacation...). Then one could argue that Maureen and Jess’ visit to Martin’s ex-wife can be seen as an element of retardation. I personally don’t, because that whole thing can be seen as leading up to The Intervention, leading us directly to our conclusion (which is a happy one and thus, if this was a play, would make the book a comedy, which I find very fitting.) What’s interesting about the structure is also that part I and II both end with a turning point: In part I we’ve got the Valentine’s Day Pact delaying the suicide, in part II they witness a suicide and subsequently realize that they aren’t capable of killing themselves. The author’s intention becomes clear in the last part of the book: the characters all slowly get better. The last sentence sums this up perfectly: JJ says about the London Eye that “It didn’t look as though it was moving, but it must have been, I suppose”, which can also be applied to the characters dire situations throughout the whole book: It doesn’t look like it’s getting better, but it is.

Characters:

1) Martin (age: probably mid-forties)

Family situation: Was married to Cindy, with whom he has two daughters (Polly and Maise), currently together with Penny Chambers, his old co-host. Martin is a serial adulterer who’s marriage ended because he was caught having sex with a fifteen-year old girl who was under the influence of cocain. His type is described as blond, young, and big-breasted.

Character traits: Martin is educated and a member of the upper bourgeoise (rich enough to afford a BMW and a very nice flat in London, not rich enough to lose his job and still uphold his standard of living without any problems). He is pessimistic, but at the same time has a very media-friendly personality (egoistic, likes to be the center of positive attention, charismatic, vain, self-assured). Though he is very shallow and lazy, he has a strong sense of obligation.

Situation: Had sex with a fifteen-year-old and went to prison for an unspecified amount of time (my best guess is about two to three months - he’ s still recognized on the street, he mentions recent articles about himself, his girlfriend was still waiting for him when he got out, so it couldn’t have been that long). As a consequence to his...sexual escapades....he lost his job as a breakfast TV presenter (his show was called Rise and Shine With Penny and Martin). He also has an alcohol problem.

Secret wish: To not have to be held accountable for his wrongdoings

Seeks: Redemption

2) Maureen (age: 51)

Family situation: Is a single mom (her fiancé broke off the engagement before she even knew she was pregnant, and she never had or even wanted another romantic or sexual encounter). She is the sole caretaker of her son Matty (19), who is wheelchair-bound and so severely (mentally?) disabled that he cannot communicate with anyone and basically just...vegitates.

Character traits: Maureen is deeply religious, but often doubts the teachings of the catholic church. As a consequence of her faith she has a strong sense of guilt and duty, and sees her son as the punishment for all of her sins (but mainly for the premaritial sex). She is very timid and has low self-esteem and cries very easily. Some passages allude to her being diagnosed with depression.

Situation: Maureen has absolutely no friends and isolated from all aspects of social life (except for Sunday church) due to her family situation.

Secret wish: To be free from Matty.

Seeks: Human contact

3) Jess Crichton (age: 18)

Family situation: Is the daughter of the Junior Minister of Education; her older sister, Jennifer, disappeared shortly after obtaining her driver’s license and is presumed dead. The car she was driving was found at a popular suicide spot and her body was never found. Jess’ relationship with her parents is very tense, as she blames herself for Jen’s disappearance and, consequently, for her parents’ misery.

Character traits: Jess has a hard facade and often acts unpredictable or crazy. Underneath that facade she is a vulnerable and grieving young girl who feels deeply guilty because she is convinced she is the reason her sister left the family and clings to any and all human contact. She is deathly afraid of people leaving her. She is very insecure and often ‘reinvents’ herself in order to please those around her. Despite this she is not afraid to speak her mind, often in vulgar terms. She describes herself as ‘fucked up’ and self harms.

Situation: Jess is convinced her sister isn’t dead and is living a happy life somewhere without her. She is very detached from her parents, though she secretly longs for a happy family life. She is starved for affection and clings to it wherever she can find it, which leads to her stalking Chas, the boy who took her virginity. She in convinced that they had a deep and meaningful relationship that he destroyed, despite only ever going on two dates and Chas not even defining their relationship as boyfriend-girlfriend type.

Secret wish: For her parents to swoop in and magically fix everything that’s been going wrong since Jen disappeared.

Seeks: Reassurance

4) John Julius a.k.a. JJ (age: mid twenties to early thirties maybe? it’s pretty unclear)

Family situation: JJ’s family situation is unknown; the only meaningful relationships mentioned in his past are his ex girlfriend, Lizzie, for whom he immigrated to England from the US, and Ed, his former bandmate and childhood friend, who quit the band and is living in the US.

Character traits: JJ is an introspective, melancholic and philosophical artistic personality. He is very philosophical despite being a relatively uneducated high school dropout and enjoys intellectual stimulation, particularly in the form of books. He loves four things: music, books, his bandmates, and his ex, three of which have left him.

Situation: JJ is an illegal immigrant. His band broke up despite obvious success and his girlfriend, who was the reason he came to the UK in the first place, broke up with him.

Secret wish: To be famous with his band

Seeks: Self-expression

Language: All four characters use typical language in their monologues. Martin typically uses words from the fields MEDIA. LAW and PROFANITY and very long and elaborate adjectives and adverbs. He uses rather long sentences with multiple subclauses and often employs rhetorical questions. His educated, engaging and cynical tone stands in contrast to his frequent use of profanity. Overall Martin’s tone is rather sophisticated, sometimes lofty, but not implausible as spoken English. Maureen typically uses words from the fields RELIGION and OUTDATED SLANG. Striking is her complete lack of profanity. She uses rather simple syntax, lots of insertions, often ends her sentences with ‘isn’t it’ and there are often periods instead of question marks at the end of her questions. This leads to her seeming slow (as in slow-moving), old-fashioned, uptight and prudish. Overall her style is rather standard but seems stiff in comparison to the others. Jess typically uses words from the fields PROFANITY and SLANG. She uses lots of ellipses, rhetorical questions, and relatively short sentences. Her language sees fast-paced, intense, and often jumpy. Her style is somewhere between colloquial, which she is a bit too structured for, and standard, which she is a bit too jumpy for. JJ typically uses words from the fields LITERATURE, BAND/MUSIC, and PROFANITY. He uses very long sentences with elaborate subclauses which often feature rhetorical questions, and questions and literal speech or his thoughts as insertions. His language is philosophical, thoughtful and ‘deep’, the style is standard to colloquial.

Personal Opinion: It’s shit don’t read it.

Ok but in all honesty this book is shallow, doesn’t accurately portray depression or being suicidal, features a character whos only regret about sleeping with a minor who was unable to give consent due to being drugged out of her mind, and also, fifteen, (this is what they call rape fellas!) is that he didn’t get away with it (also this is never addressed? there is no outside perspective given on this? no one ever says anything about this in their parts, everyone seems ok with Martin being a convicted and guilty sex offender? what the f), and, in all honesty, the writing is...rather mediocre. Like, it isn’t bad per se, but in my opinion it’s on no way deserving the praise it gets.

Note: I...have so much more stuff I could say about this book. If you want a series of very detailed diagrams depicting character relationships or something like that, let me know because I’ve got it all.

#nick hornby #a long way down #bookblr #book #books #reading #analysis #mini analysis #the shame shelf

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