#joke poetry

[larks-birdhouse]

some blackout poetry from a homophobic christian post <3 the last one is what was left if i turned on all the layers at once

please do not try to find or harass this person. they are likely just uneducated and do not deserve to be dogpiled

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top to bottom, left to right

transcript 1: “Please pay for transgender top surgery. We are poor”

transcript 2: “transgender gay blasphemers slay pop off”

transcript 3: “transgender gays are cool We are all swag”

transcript 4: “transgender”

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(tagging @fixing-bad-posts because their blog inspired this! thank you for your work <3)

#lark’s posts #tw religious mention #blackout poetry #joke poetry #transgender #transgender pride #religious trauma #fixing bad posts

[mymymywhatwegothere]

The human

She sat at the same spot every day.She looked as fascinating as she couldLong, black, soft hair, I’d say.She always wore a sweater with a hood.I never would talk to her cause of who I amShe looked better; an exciting soul.I grew up a lowly type; I am a sham.I took my chance and went on a stroll.She sat on her phone, writing a book.I chirped like a frog.She surveyed her area with a fearful look.To…

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#but not anything specific #joke poetry #unrelated #vampires #writing

[burningvelvet]

a twitter thread that actually killed me

#percy shelley #percy bysshe shelley #mary shelley #lord byron #memes #funny #twitter #screenshots #jokes #lit memes #english lit memes #literature #english literature #dark academia #poetry #romanticism #history #writing #dramatic #goth #shelleys #geneva 1816 #the geneva squad #geneva squad

[gayboss-too-close-to-the-sun]

I see you driving towards me,

I turn off my brights.

You see me driving towards you,

You do not turn off your brights.

I’m a better person than you.

#joke poetry #inspirational #driving #headlights are feckin annoying #inspired by a true story

[dogshitonline]

Dryer Lint

written february 28th, 2023 based off of a text convo with two of my friends in which I sent them a kitten that looked like his fur was made of wet dryer lint and said that i scooped him up and threw him in the trash but. it was okay bc he liked it and would crawl back into the lint trap and say again again!! until i scooped him and threw him away again💀

#DSOpoetry #freeform poetry #poetry #poem #my poem #my writing #original poetry #originalpoem #original writing #creative writing #joke poem #joke poetry #cats

[in-the-toilet3]

I hate cursive. Why

would you do letters dirty

like that like, the fuck

#haik #haiku #poetry #poem #comedy #comedy poetry #comedy haiku #joke poetry #joke poem

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

#spilled ink #writeblr #slam poetry #i started this as a joke and ended up taking after #the poem about all the women in the world meeting in the bathroom #i can't find it to link it directly i've been googling for like 15 minutes if someone can remember #turns out frantically googling the only lines like ''women meeting in the bathroom'' #''secret womens meeting you always believed happened" is not useful for . to search??? help :( #also the reason this says harmless so many times is bc like #this is 100% about like #yeah man when ppl are mean about ppl enjoying things like. fuckin lady gaga #like this is so obviously about ppl who steal ur joy for no reason (i WILL steal ur joy if ur a bigot btw) #also yes it's bc someone was like ''liking the mcelroys in 2023 is cringe'' #and im like. dude what the fuck literally just let people like things it's LITERALLY not that deep. #like i dont like centipedes theyre one of like the 2 bugs im squicked out by ... but like. #if u really like centipedes. im like so happy for you. i hope you can put socks on ur centipedes #so they can speedclean ur floors. that would be fun and cool!!! #i love u i hope all of you have a weird passion i love you i hope that passion fills your life like soap bubbles

[downn-in-flames]

oh, the tortured poets department? did you mean

#the man was truly tortured he just wanted someone to listen to his epic poetry :( #this joke has probably already been done but it’s been in my head for like 2 days now #shadow and bone #grishaverse #tolya yul bataar #six of crows #taylor swift #ttpd

[thestuffedalligator]

Not to be dramatic, but if we were mutuals and you ever popped up in my notifications with a silly tag even once I've thought about you every day, even if we never spoke, and want to let you know that I wish nothing but the best for you forever.

#tumblr feels like it's really and truly crumbling and i want to say that i love you #i love you people who made art or audio readings of anything i've written #i love you people who called anything i wrote poetry #i love you people who sent me random posts because they thought it matched my vibe #i love you mutuals who popped in with a dumb joke at my very lame posts #i love you i love you i love you. you deserve everything

[simmyfrobby]

I will not be great / but I'm grateful to get through / the feeling came late / I'm still glad I met you

#´´i dont like to use lyrics for poetry edits´´ #jokes on me. i cried about this song today. #patrice bergeron #hockey poetry posts #boston bruins #brad marchand #david pastrňák #feel like pure shit just want her back x

[kittybricks]

why does cillian murphy look like when you find a photo of your mother in her 20s and wish desperately that you could meet a version of her before children. like when you begin to wonder if she would have even liked the person you are now when she was your age. if you could’ve been friends or if you’d pass one another on campus without so much as a second glance, completely unaware of your inextricable ties, about the ways your faces look nearly indistinguishable when you smile. maybe one day you meet in a terrible bar, two groups of friends converging for a moment. you stand back-to-back to compare heights, each drunkenly insisting that you are the taller one, only to find that the curvature of your spines follow an eerily similar path, that your hips settle to one side. maybe she asks: “who gave that to you?” regarding your back. “it’s maternal”, you want to say, but instead you just stand there, looking at her with your father’s eyes- your father who she has not yet met. she looks at you as if you are strange, and suddenly the room is on fire with shame. suddenly you do not want to know if she would hate you, had you no attachment at all. suddenly you are small again, crawling into arms who are not ready to cradle you, and you are just two college girls, embracing, homesick. sorry what was I talking about

#cillian murphy #girlhood #poetry #web weaving #joke #mom could you wash my back this once #etc etc

[haleyincarnate]

From “I NEVER WANTED TO BELIEVE IN GHOSTS”, “Dead Dad Jokes” by Ollie Schminkey

#Ollie schminkey #dead dad jokes #button poetry #poetry #hmh #writing #quote #grief #haunting #ghosts #anger #question #excerpt #quotes

[finelythreadedsky]

guys let’s not. let’s please not do “the romans are for boys, the greeks are for girls”

#so girls like myths and poetry and boys like armies and emperors? that’s the joke? #I’m just tired #every other week there’s a new ‘the gender binary but a meme’ and I’m just tired of it #you are not immune from reifying gender roles #mine

[stoat-party]

#this is a joke of course. law students don’t read anything but casebooks. #to be fair nick is mostly into famous poetry so i wouldn’t have to dig too deep for him #but arcade’s into reaaaally old stuff. #when i give him smart guy references it gets very clumsy #nick valentine #arcade gannon #deacon fo4 #deacon fallout 4 #fo4 #fallout #fallout 4 #fallout new vegas #new vegas #fallout: new vegas #fnv

[katakaluptastrophy]

Is Harrow just very angry occasionally in chapter 10 of HTN...or is there something a bit more...permeability of the soul going on?

Magnus is a "moron". Ortus should be whipped for publicly reciting poetry. When Ortus laments that heroes are passé, "She did not murder him. It was a very near thing."

When Abigail asks about the number of signatures in her spirit energy, her reaction is very specific:

It took long years of self-discipline not to kill the woman then and there; or at least make the attempt. Against any other ghost-caller, their wards so exquisite and so fatally slow, Harrowhark had no doubt that a single decisive strike would do the job. Abigail Pent introduced doubt. It was that doubt that made her turn and flee—a tactical retreat, as she kept telling herself.

Has Harrow spent a lot of time contemplating combat techniques against spirit magicians? What is it about Abigail Pent - historian and ghost caller - in particular that throws her off?

Perhaps this is all very characteristically Ninth and very Harrow:

“If I believe they pose a threat, or that they intend us direct harm—frankly, on any minor excuse—I will invoke Tomb retribution. I’ll kill Pent where she stands if I need to, and you will swear that there was no sin of unjustified House war, no matter the circumstances.”

But it is just after this that Harrow opens the Lyctoral note given to her by Abigail to read her first of Wake's diary entries, where Wake is furious at the idea of being considered weak or being shown pity, and threatens Mercymorn and Augustine.

Harrow is haunted by Wake. And Wake is angry.

#the locked tomb #tlt #harrowhark nonagesimus #abigail pent #magnus quinn #ortus nigenad #commander wake #tug spoilers #Wake is so done with zombies and their stupid poetry and their stupid history and their stupid jokes

[thatsbelievable]

#Conversations I Have Had With Edgar Allan Poe #Edgar Allan Poe #author #authors #writer #writers #books #poetry #poems #literature #jokes #humor #Oh Edgar