#joke resume

[qcomicsy]

FAM!!! JUST BECAUSE DICK WANTED THE MAN WHO KILLED HIS PARENTS DEAD DOESN'T NOT MEAN HE WAS A VIOLENT ROBIN!!!!

HAVING ANGER ISSUES DOESN'T MAKE YOU VIOLENT BY DEFAULT

FAM WE WERE JOKING– FAM–

#y'all took the joke and ran with it my god please let's all take a breath #I've seen some answers in my robin joke about violence and people would legit saying dick was way violent than him and I ad to “HOLDON” #FAM PLEASE GOD DO NOT TAKE DICK ROBIN AND RUN WITH THIS NARRATIVE #*holding a megaphone on dicks robin tags* pEOPLE ARE COMPLEX AND HAVE MULTIPLE EMONTIONS AND FACADES OF THEIR CHARACTER RESUMING #SOMEONE IN A CONSTANT CASE OF HAPPINESS OR CONSTANT CASE OF ANGERS IS EQUALLY DEMAGED I'M BEGGING YOU PUT THAT VIOLENT DICK ROBIN DOWN

[donutcats]

I’ll always be a fan of steve always knowing he’s into guys but never acting on it because he lives in small town indiana, and eddie is just a little bit put out that he wasn’t steve’s bisexual awakening.

#steddie #eddie jokes that he wishes he couldve added 'turned steve harrington gay' to his resume #steve’s thankful that he still likes girls because he can get by in life easier #robin knows ofc because he told her once when he was drunk #and he apologized for not telling her in the bathroom of starcourt #but see the thing is he didnt want to take away from Her moment! #she finds it very endearing and thanks him for his thoughtfulness #he absolutely gives her a kiss on the cheek

[sigery]

Still haven't watched the show; only Alastor ship I support is him and Lucifer. And that's merely a status thing so Alastor can say he slept with the king. No attraction on Alastor part, he just thought it sounded like a fun idea (and has cemented his opinion to never do it again)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel alastor x lucifer #alastor x lucifer #this is somewhat a joke #haven't watched the show but I saw their initial argument and the thought is funny #Alastor is still aroace- this was for the lolz #he has a impressive resume but adding that he slept with the king of hell would be great

[ice-mint]

Prince Jacaerys and Court fool Aegon.

Idk why he is dressed like that either, but he is having the time of his life. Jace is deeply concerned (his jokes aren’t even that good)

#aegon ii targaryen #jacaerys targaryen #jacegon #jacaerys x aegon #hotd #hotd fanart #house of the dragon #house of the dragon fanart #mushroom was on vacation or something #He just arrived like that to court and everyone was too akward to say anything #That is Aegon's dream job #crack jokes do silly dances and roast the king #he's slipping his resume to Rhaenyra as we speak so he gets hired when she is queen #hotd au

[jtl-fics]

I'm not sure if you're still doing wip wednesday, but if you are math nerd 🥺 I'm in love with all the Andrew and Neil angst of Andrew pining and wanting

Neil laughs at Andrew's question.

"He was never a big fan of being too hot but no... not Arizona." Neil says with a smile that is more fond than sad. "I've given you quite a few questions on credit Andrew. I'll consider us even if you answer the next one honestly." he says, "But after that I don't want to play this game for a bit." he crosses his arms and leans heavily on them as he looks out over the campus.

"Ask." Andrew says.

"Are you happy?" he asks.

#Math Nerd AU #AFTG #AFTG AU #Andreil #Consider me Cinderella's pumpkin #you all got until midnight tonight to ask via EST #So you got about 6.5 hours left #Is that right? #It's 5:30 here #I am not Neil #I am very very very bad at math #Embarrassingly so #I put it as a weakness on my resume and everything #My current boss laughed at the joke but I was serious #Now when it comes up I remind him that I WARNED him

[clown-femme]

Also if tumblr wants to do the badges thing I think they should do it for like actual accomplishments or very weird garbage things no one would think of. Being here for 10 years without a significant hiatus. Made a post without using the letter e (bc tumblr doesn't have an e and if this sites current brand identity loves one thing it's being cheeky and self referential). A badge called "rawdogging it" for people who don't us xkit. Reblogged 20 posts in 5 minutes and it looks like a can of spam or smth.

Cause as it stands "made over 100 posts" (especially when it counts reblogs in that) or "saw over 601 posts" is like. Meaningless. It's not an accomplishment and it seems to very much be trying to cater to new users when an overwhelming majority of the user base seems to have been here for over five years if not more.

#tumblr literally please hire me for marketing i have actual legit marketing experience on my resume like not as a joke #i can save you.

[xueyidweams]

so! i have a writing idea but im not sure if it would please everyone.. its like a catperson reader and by catperson i dont mean just tails and ears i mean like izutsumi and maybe w a fully cat-human like head. they have escaped the IPC and been in the run in the penacony dreamscape for a while. aventurine comes across them and the reader begs him to not turn them in (he wasn’t going to anyways) and i wanna go from there . if it would tickle y’all’s fancy ofc

#hsr aventurine #aventurine x reader #also im sorry if i get a lil bit inactive my uni semester has resumed #and it takes up like no joke 10 hours of my day #and its exhausting but i Love this man so ill do my best!

[marclef]

my dear brothers in christ I WARNED YOU!!!

#I GAVE YOU ALL OF THE WARNINGS!!! IF YOU DID NOT HEED THEM THAT IS NOT ON ME #IF YOU EVER SEE ME POST ANYTHING WITH LIKE WARNING SIRENS EVERYWHERE AGAIN JUST TRUST ME!!! IT'S NOT A JOKE!!!! #MY NEXT POST I'M WORKING ON IS NOT GONNA BE CURSED THOUGH!!! WE WILL RESUME NORMAL PIZZA-POSTING SHORTLY.

[love4hobi]

420 days until jhope comes home!

JOTD (jhope of the day):

#had to resume just for this #yes i am a 12 yr old boy and i will never get too old for a weed joke

[corpsecoochie]

Okay besties- my birthday is in a month and a half, and I’m looking for a sugar daddy (or mommy 😌) so that I can get my grimey little claws on an albo! So if you know any lonely billionaires (I know of 4 who were recently widowed 😏), send them my way 👏🏻😤

#this is mostly a joke but also I wouldn’t say no to a nice older lady #it’ll hit right in the mommy issues #I even included my face which is all I need as a sugar baby resume right #right #monstera albo #variegated #house plant #personal #me #selfie #my face #no but it is actually a joke I already plan to get myself one lol

[todayisafridaynight]

still obsessed with how whenever you look up nakai you just get adachi front and center instead of arakawa or like. anyone he's actually played

#snap chats #im never mad about seeing adachi tho.... hello old man... #this isnt even to talk about the gorgeous cover picture they use for him. why the fuck is he on a horse looking like shakespeare #anyways i just got done watching a nakai movie- 'Hit Me Anyone One More Time'- i started a month back but forgot to resume #i was actually gonna post a cap from the movie since nakai was in a cute frilly apron and i was bouta make an arakawa joke #BUT let's just wait for me to draw it lbr LMAO #movie was cute if you were wondering... nakai plays as japan's prime minister Keisuke Kuroda who used to be a major dickwad #but after getting hit in the head with a rock he has a real Phineas Gage moment and does a whole 180 #it was lowkey real cute cause like. kuroda's just Confused 70% of the time but he's also really earnest and trying to be good #and he loves his wife. a lot. i mean his wife hated him for most of the movie but its ok they're cute at the end #this movies cute. weird to say about a movie about a politician but its true #since im weening off my tsutsumi binge im legally allowed to say its funny how they both played men named keisuke #it's really not common that i see names repeated- like in american films its common to run into 'bills' and 'toms' and that sort of thing #but its rare that i see a name pop up more than once in jp media. i mean unless it's sega and 'makoto' then jesus fucking christ ENOUGH #THATS ENOUGH MAKOTOS #anyway im going to bed. bye

[brookheimer]

oh man it’s a good thing i’m starting my internship after succession ended because now i have an hbo press pass and i would’ve had to use every ounce of my self-control not to use it for evil and get fired

#i’m joking. i would have been a good little journalist and kept my good little mouth shut #but. it is funny #hooray for behind the scenes content of the idol 😐 #and no not gonna say where i’m working cuz i don’t want to doxx myself #also it’s kind of an ass setup it’s unpaid but like 25 hours a week #so i’m trying to find a side job that can actually make me money bc i cannot afford not to #😬😬😬 #it’s a foot in the door tho. that is what matters #(clenching my teeth repeating that like a mantra trying to convince myself) #LMAO #when it looks great on your resume but not for your wallet!!! #😬 😬 😬 #editorial assistant slay :/ #that is a joke. no slayage occurring

[ankhisms]

resume: formerly the mayor of bikini bottom

#its so funny that this isnt even a joke. this is on my acting resume

[shameboree]

made a joke about being neurotypical because i did homework but now simply Thinking about the CONCEPT of rewriting my cover letter is sending me nosediving into an 1800s fit of hysteria so turns out i did not in fact solve mental illness

#REALLY HAD MYSELF FOR A MINUTE THERE #im not joking im fuckin TACHYCARDIC w absolute goddamn DESPAIR. im gonna PUKE #been writin this resume for an hour im fucking DYING squirtle!!!!!!!!! #kels talks

[frutavel]

What you signed up for: warcraft trolls and warcraft in general

What you're getting: Animal people who won't stop clawing at the walls in my brain to be let out

#Partly joking but I've been drawing my animal people in between working on [REDACTED] and college work #and also working on lore and worldbuilding for my lil furry headworld and thinking about stories and ideas #and it is very soothing but also makes me feel kinda guilty however it is what it is ✌️ #blabbles #warcraft content should resume after [REDACTED] and/or the troll heritage questline drops if it's good <3

[youngharleezyxo]

maybe he should’ve taken some more lessons before they started filming today….😂

#jack harlow #jackman thomas harlow #it’s all love #just jokes #i can’t wait to see him act tho #baby can add actor to his resume #i’m so proud 🥲