[y/n] 2:01am | 02 (knj)
[y/n] 2:01am: he doesn’t fuck me the way you do, let alone touch me the way you do.
⇢ this is part of the ‘drunk texting’ mini series
summary: sweetie, your old feelings for namjoon are starting to show.
warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, more lil bro beomgyu, flashback scene at the beg of chapter + some implied smut in the flashback, alcohol consumption, intoxication, joonie is and will always be in luv w/ oc :(, oc obvi still luvs the guy too and just goes for shit but yeah :/, making out, grinding, thoughts on overdrive per usual, memories memories memories, heavy feelings like fuck, yes A Quiet Place 2 is mentioned bcos i couldnt think of anything else when i wrote this, we kinda get close and cuddly, straddling joonie's thicc thighs and touching up on his buff chest, them drunk texts - what is this series without it, unprotected sex, boobie grabbing/nipple play, tender kisses, soft touches, oral (f. receiving), some soft bites on the neck, very light cock smacking against the puss, very light choking, multiple orgasms, joon cums on boobies
note: hello! thanks for your patience, everyone! i truly adore and appreciate you all for being so sweet and understanding. this part is heavily inspired by that joonie pic in the banner, hehe. since i’ve gotten some q’s about my current schedule as of late -
drunk texting & into it (pjm mini series): every other week, will post earlier if able
cloud nine expected to resume aug 2021 and will pick up on ch7. will have about 12 chapters.
〉F L A S H B A C K
"Joonie." You giggled, stumbling over your feet, alcohol racing through your veins. It's a fucking Tuesday night, and here you were— drunk as shit with your friends, drunk as shit with your man, drunk as shit at the bar— like you didn't have to be up early for a big test tomorrow morning. Did you study? Sure, enough. Were you ready though? Absolutely not. But hey, why would you turn down a good time? You felt like you needed it, giving yourself the excuse of 'just one time, that's it.'
It hasn't been just one time. And quite frankly, it hasn't been the first time that Joon was so good at convincing you, egging you on to have some fun.
"Hm?" Joonie says, wrapping his arms around you from behind, lips planting kisses along the side of your head, before moving down to your ear with a quick, subtle nibble that causes you to giggle.
"Stooop." You whine.
"You called for me, love. What is it? Wanna get out of here?" He turns you around by the waist, teeth biting onto his bottom lip. You were fucking gorgeous, and god, his knees buckled every time he looked at you. He felt lucky, truly lucky to have fallen in love with his bestfriend like this.
"And do what, silly?"
"Wanna get some fries and shakes?"
"But our friends—"
"Fuck 'em. Let's go, baby." He cups your cheeks, thumbs caressing gently before he plants a tender kiss on your nose and lips.
"Where are you two lovebirds headed?" Seokjin throws a crumpled napkin at Joon. He catches it and tosses it back with more force, hitting Seokjin on the forehead.
"Out. 'Tis been fun, folks." Joon throws up a peace sign, the other arm draped around your shoulders.
"They're about to go fuck in the alley nearby, bet." Hoseok says, laughing loudly.
"I mean, if that's what you want, we can do that too."
"Joon." You pinch him, heat rising to your cheeks. He cackles before he starts pulling you with him towards the door, you and him yelling your last goodbyes before leaving.
"Fuck. Come here, pretty lady." His arm drops to your waist, the both of you struggling to walk with how clingy he's being.
"We'll never get to the fries and shakes at this rate." You giggle.
"Maybe that was never the end goal."
"Well, now I really want it." You pouted, squeezing his hand.
"Alright, alright." He winces at the tight grip you put him in. "We'll go, just don't cut off my circulation. I'll need these babies for when I go off to med school." You smiled, giving him one big, sloppy kiss on the lips before the two of you continued to walk down the street and into a popular diner. Joon has the both of you seated at a tiny booth in the corner, ordering two baskets of fries, a milkshake and the shake leftovers in another cup for you to dip your fries into. He knew that's the shit you loved, especially after drunken nights at the bar, and he was always more than willing to provide just to see you happy.
It was always worth seeing you happy.
He giggles when he sees you dancing in your seat, eyes glazed over as you dip your fries into the shake leftovers and eat it with the utmost satisfaction. You give off a soft moan and he's smiling, really smiling. Like fuck, how in the hell did he get so lucky?
After indulging, Namjoon pays for the food before calling an uber to head back to campus. It was getting late, and curfew had already started— meaning all the resident advisors were doing their rounds and making sure students weren't up to no good. No dudes sleeping over rooms and vice versa. No loud ass parties in the dorms. No smoking, no underage drinking [even though the lower-classmen always found ways to ask their seniors for alcohol or sneak their bottles in].
"Baby, shush. It's curfew." You giggled, nibbling onto Joon's cheek as he gave you a piggyback ride on the way back up to your dorm room.
"Whatever, you know the RAs love me."
"Sure, still doesn't wipe out the possibility of getting written up." You cling on tightly, nuzzling your face against his neck.
"Hey Namjoon, Y/N!" One of the resident advisors named Tori called out. She smiles, clutching her clipboard against her tummy. She was one of the nicest, sweetest RAs you knew, probably one who let people slip without getting written up plenty of times.
"Oh, hey Tori!" Namjoon smiles in very Namjoon fashion, while you wave.
"Curfew, you know what that means right?" She winks.
"Yesssss." Joon elongates his response as he continues to slowly walk towards your room. "Promise I'm just gonna drop off this pretty lady and go."
"Okay. I'm trusting you." She nods before walking off to do her rounds at another dorm.
"You got it!" Joon yells back and continues to watch her walk down the path. You hop off his back to unlock your door, turning the knob with Namjoon quickly slipping himself in behind you, making sure to avoid Tori and any use of her authoritative power.
"You liar." You giggle, tossing your keys onto your desk with Namjoon closing the door behind you. Your suite mate was asleep at this point, not that you cared for her much. She was nice and all, probably did the bare minimum to be nice though. She was quiet, kept to herself, complained a lot about the noise you and your friends make, the noises you and Namjoon accidentally make. Shit like that. Which, you understand but at the same time, it's whatever. You were minding your own business. You never complained whenever she slammed the doors, or left the microwave open, or talked loudly on the phone with her bf who was across state. She could learn how to mind her own from time to time.
"It's just a little white lie. Besides, when do you care? I'm always crashing anyway."
"Touché. It's hot when you bring out the bad boy in you." He laughs.
"Ew." He hugs you from behind, fingers tickling at your sides while he tries to lay kisses wherever he can. You squeal, causing him to laugh even louder as he continues to hold on and walk you towards your bed.
"Joonie, stop! I'll fucking bite you, and you know how hard I bite." You whine and pout.
"Scary." He teases as he pushes you against your bed. He stares at you quietly, taking in all of your features, before he's leaning in for kiss. His large hands squeeze your ass while pushing your body against his, hips grinding into you. You let out a soft moan against his lips, hands tangled into his hair with a gentle tug every time he slips his tongue in. "Still upset?" He asks in between, tongue going back into explore your mouth— moving slowly, sensually. Pulling back with a gentle tug on your bottom lip. "Or can we focus on other things, hm?" He hums, the vibrations hitting your lips.
"Other things like what?" It's your turn to tease, smiling and biting onto your bottom lip when Joon makes his way down to your jaw, your neck.
"Let me show you." You squeal a little louder this time when he picks you up and sits you on the edge of your bed, hands quickly tearing off clothes and tossing then onto the floor.
God, everything felt like it was on fire with Namjoon.
The way he touched you, hands giving your flesh a gentle squeeze when he roamed up your sides. The way he kissed you, tongue always fighting with yours for dominance. The way he wasn't afraid to handle you— because he knew you trusted him and he trusted you— fucking you senselessly on the edge of your bed, hand on your hip for stability, while the other gripped at your neck. He fucked you so good, every thrust and roll of his hip caused the bed to go knocking against the wall. You should be keep quieting, both of you should. But you're not, and he's not, and fuck, it feels exhilarating to love and be loved by Kim Namjoon. He doesn't stop, and he doesn't stop even when you're creaming his cock with your cum, trembling in his grip. He doesn't stop until he's given every last bit of him, until he's leaked every last bit into your pussy—
〉E N D F L A S H B A C K
"Hey?" You snap out of your thoughts when Beomgyu waves his hand in front of you. "You've been forking the same pasta shell for the past 2 minutes."
"Sorry." You let out a breath before you take a bite of your pasta.
"Are you okay? You've been out of it since you picked me up."
"I'm not out of it." You argue back, making Bomu chuckle.
"Oookay. Just because you say so doesn't mean I believe it." He takes a sip of his water. "Really, what's going on with you? Did you and August get into a fight?"
"No, not at all." You contemplate on your thoughts for a minute, wondering whether or not you should tell Bomu that you had crossed paths with Namjoon again. Part of you felt like yes, it was important for him to know because just as you loved Namjoon, Beomgyu did too. He was like the comfort, confidante, older brother that he always wanted. However, the other part felt like, no. You couldn't let him get attached to the idea of Namjoon being around again because he wasn't going to be around. He's not, and he shouldn't. You wanted to keep Namjoon at a distance because you knew what he could do to you. Has done to you. Will do to you.
"Okay." He says, still keeping his eyes on you even as he eats. Your brother really cared about you, even though sometimes he may not act like it, or he may not show it. Right now, he's worried. He knows you're one to handle your own, one to pick yourself up and try again. He knows you have the ability to move on from things quick. Today though, it doesn't seem like that, and he's not sure what could be occupying your mind so heavily. He won't push, although he knows staring at you will make you uneasy and give in.
It's his trick.
"What?" You ask with a look on your face.
"Nothing, nothing at all."
"Oh, come on. I know what you're doing, Bomu." You roll your eyes.
"So, spill then."
"Fine, I'll just keep staring." And he does. You hate it, you absolutely hate it because it works every single fucking time.
"God, fuck." You groan before shaking your head. "I saw Namjoon the other night. Quite frankly, he's the reason why I slept in and was almost late to work."
"W-what? Really?" Beomgyu smiles big and wide while laughing out loud. "No way, I thought he moved?"
"He did for med school then got matched at the children's hospital. That's where he's at right now."
"Wait, how do you know that though?"
"Like through the phone?"
"You're nosy, aren't you?"
"I just wanna know, I haven't seen him or talked to him in a really long time and it kinda makes me happy that he's back around." This is what you were talking about. That connection, that attachment that Beomgyu feels to Namjoon. You'd hate to shut it down again. You'd hate to see him upset again.
"Well no, listen. We just caught up and that was it." He nods silently before speaking up again.
"How is he?"
"A doctor on the rise who is happy with his girlfriend, pretty much." You say, even though you can't entirely say it's the truth based off of your meeting the other night. You didn't want to jump to conclusions, hell, the both of you were a little intoxicated and it's easy to say you both got caught up in the moment.
"Oh. Well, that's good." Beomgyu nods. "You think you two can ever be friends?"
"I'm not so sure."
"I mean, why not? It's been awhile. Plus, you just said you guys caught up and it was fine." Beomgyu cocks up an eyebrow. "Unless.. you still—"
"No, Beoms." You sigh, taking one last forkful before setting your napkin aside. "You're right, it's fine. Really. We both have different things going on and we're both happy with how things are. That's all in the past."
"Okay then. It'd be cool if you two can be friends. Tell him I said hi next time."
"If there's a next time."
"Right." Beomgyu chuckles a bit before tossing aside his napkin and taking a sip of water. "I think you two have some unfinished business, to tell you honestly."
"Never say never, sis. You don't know things work. We all don't. Why do you think the universe suddenly sent Namjoon back your way?"
"Okay, time to pack it up kid. I need to go scout one of the new potential office locations in the next hour and a half in the next town over." He smirks.
"Hmmmkay." He responds in a sing-song manner. The both of you tidy your table as much as possible before leaving to drop Beomgyu off at home. The ride is quiet, nothing but the music softly playing, along with your brother softly humming and singing along in the passenger seat. Your thoughts are suddenly running at 100mph again, thinking about the things Bomu had mentioned.
You were happy, you were happy, you were happy.
You said it over and over again like you're own mantra, in a way where you trying to convince yourself that you were sure of it. You had August, he was good to you— always so good to you. You were sure Lexie was the same to Namjoon and vice versa. The universe only sent Namjoon your way so you could move on from the past and be friends. Yes, that was exactly it.
"Hey." You say, hitting the brakes as you stop in front of the house. Your brother looks over in his seat, eyes wide and curious.
"Don't give mom and dad a hard time, okay?" He rolls his eyes and sighs before opening your car door.
"Yeah, I'll try not to. Just because you said so."
"Have fun doing work stuff or whatever." You chuckle.
"Yeah, yeah. Text me, only if absolutely necessary." He gives you a toothless smile before waving you off and doing a light jog over to the front door. You wait until he walks in and shuts the door before driving off to the next town over. It can be about a 45 minute drive, almost an hour depending on traffic and how stubborn it wants to be. Luckily, it's not too bad for the time of day. You can enjoy your drive while taking in the scenic route on the way over, windows slightly down, breeze circulating through your car and running through your hair.
You see the ocean, waves crashing along the sand, and the first thing you think of is Namjoon again. You hadn't heard from him since that night, he hadn't bothered texting— whether it be because of how things turned out that night, because he was busy or because he just didn't wanna bother you, period. I mean for fuck's sake, you both had your own lives going. Why the hell were you thinking of him? Better question is, why the hell were you wondering how he was doing? Why were you wondering if he was thinking of you, just like you were thinking of him?
You reach your destination within the hour, giving yourself enough time to freshen up in the car after the drive. You were going to spend a night in a hotel nearby, provided by the company, since you had one more potential office site to look at. Too bad you couldn't get it all done in one day because you wanted nothing more than to just be in the comfort of your own apartment.
Oh well, the hotel works too. You'll just have to figure out what to do and how to occupy the rest of your time here. Get your mind off of things, take a breather perhaps. Whatever the hell that looks like on this part of town.
5 mins before your appointment, you set to head over to the entrance to meet the group— the facilities manager at the current headquarters, some contractors, the realtor, etc etc. It's a fucking party, really. The appointment gets started on time, the entire group navigating through both floors, inspecting each inch by inch. You take as many notes as you can, take as many pictures as you can [phone storage almost suffocating just for these pictures alone], ask as many questions that you think August would ask if he was here.
Oh, you wish he was here. That way, you didn't have to feel so conflicted for whatever reason. You could distract yourself, silence the noise in your head.
After the tour, you say your goodbyes and sit in the car, whipping out your phone to give your man a call. He is the first person you think of when you get a moment because he is your business partner as well, your ride or die, partner in crime. But without the business appointments and the business calls, would he really be the first person you'd think of?
"Hey honey." You smile softly hearing his voice on the other line, fingers fiddling with the bottom of your skirt.
"Hey babe, how'd the meeting go?" He sighs before chuckling a bit.
"Ah, ran pretty long, but what can you do? I think it was good overall though. I think we have this in the bag."
"Oh, that's good to hear. Proud of you." You can feel him smiling through the phone and it brings warmth. Comfort. Safety.
"Thanks baby. How was the first tour?"
"You know, I think you'd really like this spot." He chuckles.
"It's in a convenient area, it's spacey, has that modern touch you're looking for."
"Sounds like a breath of fresh air."
"Yeah, pretty much." You giggle.
"Well, you still do have one more place to visit so we'll see if that's really the winner."
"True, true." You smile. "I miss you." You did, you really did. August had these moments where his scheduled was too packed, too tiring for him to do a lot with your relationship. But you understood, you always understood. You just saw him yesterday, and the day before, making love and doing the shit you two always did before having to part ways for busy schedules.
This was the routine. You were safe in it.
"I miss you, too." He pauses. "I really miss you, too." He repeats.
"Wish you were able to come."
"Same here, baby. These meetings lately have been disrespectfully getting in the way of our time, haven't they?" You laugh.
"I'm sorry, honey. I promise we'll get some time post business review and audit season. I'll make sure to take you on all the dates and pamper my special lady. That sound good with you?" You blush.
"Sounds good with me." He lets out a small laugh.
"Good, baby. Well— I have to go, okay? I'm gonna hop on this call in a sec. I'll text and check in on you later."
"Okay, have fun with that, my love. Kick ass."
"Will do. I love you."
"I love you too." And with that, the call ends. The call ends and you suddenly feel alone, almost? It hits that you're in the next town over, craving company. Craving something, anything.
You find yourself navigating the downtown area of town, the hotel only a couple of stop signs down the street. You had gotten there, checked your car in to valet, checked yourself in and made yourself at home for the night— setting your weekender bag aside while laying out your toiletries and your pajamas on the bed. You were getting ready to slip into them and comfortably order room service before something inside you clicked.
Why the fuck not go outside and explore? You rarely [ever] catch yourself on this side of town, you could use the new scenery.
And so here you were, roaming the streets. The night isn't too cold. Perfect, actually. You pass a few shops, window shop and take a peek inside some of the boutiques you pass by. You come across a small art gallery the further you walk down the street. You find yourself paying and walking in out of curiosity, eyes immediately darting to the painting on your right.
Namjoon would love this. He'd have a fucking ball.
It seems like they're holding some kind of special event that you're unaware of, servers walking around with finger foods or champagne on their trays. You welcome yourself to a glass or two [or three, it's fucking free why not], the alcohol immediately settling since lunch had been hours ago at this point.
You're craving, again. Craving for company. Something, anything.
"Shit." You say to yourself as you down the last glass and hand it off to the server.
"Are you okay, miss?"
"Perfect, thanks." You give him a small smile before pulling out your phone. Yeah, company would be nice. It would be nice to be here with someone who can have fun and appreciate this.
And just like that, you drop your location. Too bad it wasn't August you thought about first. Clearly.
You tuck your phone away as you continue to navigate through the small art gallery, suddenly feeling shy about the text you sent. You hadn't talked to him the past days, and Namjoon must think you were pathetic with the way you came at him in that message. Sounding so needy, like he was the only person you could contact.
Yikes, Y/N. Bad move.
Bad move, but we're here. We're taking it head on no matter how nervous you get, no matter how much you start to regret sending that text. You wanted this, after all.
You try to calm your nerves walking through the rest of the gallery, knowing full well how long the drive could take from wherever the hell he's coming— you're pretty sure it's the same distance or moreso similar. But to your surprise, Namjoon sends a text 35 mins post conversation saying he had arrived.
He directs you to come outside, making your throat feel dry and itchy. You feel like the walls could close in on you any moment now, airways tightening and getting hard for you to breathe.
What in the actual fuck?
Nope, no. This was a mistake. A big, clear fucking mistake—
But he stands there, leaning against the pole as he smiles so sweetly and so happily when he sees you. It does something to you, and all of a sudden, it doesn't feel like a mistake. It feels like he should be here, even though realistically speaking, he shouldn't.
"Hey." He smiles at you. "Enjoy your drunk walk around the gallery?"
"Yes." You giggle, heat rising to your cheeks. "What's in the bag?"
"Brought you my mom's banana bread. I know you loved it more than anything." Your drunk ass glows. Not only did you absolutely adore Joonie's mom, but you fucking loved her banana bread. She always used a dash of sour cream to add a little tang and make the bread soft, always added loads of chocolate chips that melted every time you heated it up.
It was the closest thing to heaven.
"Aw, thanks Joonie." You take the bag from him as he walks by your side, hands dug deep into his kangaroo pockets. He smiles toothlessly, dimples piercing his cheeks deeply.
"What are you doing on this side of town?"
"I have to scope out some new office locations for work." He nods. "I saw one today, need to see another one tomorrow before I head back."
"Did you like the office space you saw today?"
"Yeah, I think so. I think August will like it."
"Hm." He hums. "Why isn't he here with you?"
"He had other meetings and calls to attend."
"Busy guy, huh?"
"Comes with being a young co-CEO." You lick your lips. "Lexie was okay with you coming here?" He shrugged.
"I don't normally have to ask for permission." He chuckles. "I just told her I was gonna go hang out with an old friend. She's dead tired from her shift anyway." An old friend, he says.
"I see. You both seem very busy, too."
"Yeah, it gets hard to find time sometimes. But she's supportive nonetheless—or, we're supportive of each other, nonetheless." He corrects himself, but he continues to watch his steps against the ground, not really making eye contact until he breaks the silence again. "What else did you have planned for your night? Did you wanna grab dinner or something?"
"Honestly, I kinda wanted to get comfy in my hotel, watch a movie and order a bunch of room service. It's on the company." He smiles when he feels your elbow nudge him.
"Then let's watch a movie and order room service. Where's your hotel?"
"A couple of stop signs down that way." You turn and point.
"Come, I'll drive us. My car is just up that way." You nod, following behind him as he crosses the street and heads up the hill.
You feel a little weird getting into his car, lots of old memories start to quickly flood your headspace. You strap yourself in, clutching your bag close to you as you sit awkwardly and keep your gaze outside the passenger window. The car smells like Joon— he always smelled so, so good. His car isn't too messy, maybe a few half full water bottles in the cupholders and some papers in the backseat. You also catch a pair of extra shoes on the floor in the back, which look like Lexie's.
Sigh. Fucking great.
You find yourself comparing again, imagining, wishing you had taken the route you had originally planned for yourself in the beginning. You had gotten here because of August's help, while Lexie did the damn thing on her own. Why wouldn't Namjoon fall for her? That's some shit. I mean, yeah. He did fall in love with Lexie for that reason and many others, but can he truly say it's comparable to what you two had? Never. And he's only being honest. He respects Lexie, he thinks she's been a blessing, an angel.
But god, she wasn't you.
"Yeah, sorry. Just a little tired, but it's no big deal."
"Hey, I really am happy you texted me, you know? I didn't think we'd be talking again after that night. Or, I didn't think you'd want to, so I didn't wanna be a bother." He's rambling a bit, which he does when he's nervous, or when he's saying his thoughts out loud before he's even had time to process them.
"No, you're not a bother."
"Okay, that's a relief." He chuckles a bit before he's asking for confirmation about the hotel he's pulling up to. You nod to signal it's the right one, and he pulls up into a free spot before shutting off the car and giving off a deep exhale. He hops out and runs over to your side, pulling the door open and stepping aside to let you out. You give him a tiny, toothless smile before leading the way up to your room.
Getting in, you step out of your shoes and sit them aside before setting your bag onto the small table in the corner of the room. Namjoon is awkwardly standing near the wall, unsure of what to do with himself. He doesn't want to overstep. Truth be told, he is nervous after how things went down the other night. Not that he expected anything from you, he shouldn't. The both of you shouldn't. But from the history and chemistry you two shared, he didn't think you'd distance yourself so much. There's obviously a lot more to why you're keeping your distance, but Namjoon really wishes it wasn't like that anymore. Not after these years have passed, zero communication and all.
"I'm just gonna get comfy so feel free to chill for a sec. Or check out the room service menu. Order whatever you want."
"Whatever I want, huh?" You laugh.
"Don't get crazy."
"What about you?"
"Hm, surprise me. You know I'm not that picky." He nods, watching as you shut the door to your bathroom. You try to pull yourself together, keep yourself cool, calm and collected. You quickly wash up, throwing on your plaid pjays and an oversized longsleeve. You can hear Namjoon faintly ordering some food on the other side of the door, causing you to giggle to yourself. It sounded like he put in a pretty big order, and you can't help but think about how cute he is navigating through the menu and giving the staff member an earful just for one order.
[august] 8:02pm: so tired, but the day is finally over. hope you're enjoying yourself there, my baby. text or call me later if you're not too tired, okay? i love you.
You read the message and send a quick 'Okay, I love you too' to your man before heading out of the bathroom.
"In 30 minutes or so? Cool, yeah that'd be nice. Awesome, thanks!" He says as you step out and sit on the end of the bed, criss-crossed apple-sauce. He turns and smiles, welcoming himself to the open spot next to you. "Got some food. It'll be here in the next 30 mins or so."
"Excited to see what you ordered, sounded like you had quite the list."
"You said whatever I want." You laugh.
"And to also not get crazy."
"I didn't." He flips the channel. "What do you wanna watch?" His eyes widen when he sees A Quiet Place 2 is about to play on the TV, causing him to toss the remote aside and get comfortable in his spot next to you. "Oh shit, I've been wanting to watch this."
"I guess we're watching this then." You chuckle.
"Well no, we don't have to if you don't want to."
"It's fine, it's been on my list, too." And so the movie starts, Joon is suddenly quiet as his eyes are focused on the screen. The only light in the room is the corner lamp, with the shades drawn shut. The both of you start to get really invested in the movie, trying to pick up on little details and follow along. Truthfully, you feared watching a scary movie with him around. It only meant you'd be vulnerable, you'd be scared and you'd have nothing to cling onto besides your pillows and a Kim Namjoon. Especially this movie, where it's nothing but sudden jump scares.
Maybe his ass planned it all along, Joonie had a mischievous side anyway.
The first thing that comes from the order is a fine bottle of wine, which Namjoon happily takes from the staff member and pops it open. He pours you a glass before pouring himself one. One turns to two, two turns to three, three turns into the whole bottle being finished.
And now you're pretty drunk watching this goddamn movie. Again.
Silence turns into laughter, small talk turns into jokes and sarcasm. It's a fun time, really. It's almost like you and Joon never parted ways. 30 mins comes by quick, or maybe it's earlier, later— you don't really fucking know anymore. Your vision is bouncing off of the walls, things are a little shakier than usual and your body is much more closer to Namjoon's than a couple of minutes ago. Next thing you know, your knee is resting against his leg and your shoulder is almost resting on his, all while the both of you are comfortably digging into your food.
"Y-you got fries and a shake?" You look at him, picking up a fry and nibbling on the dipped end.
"It's your favorite."
"You didn't have to."
"It was our thing, of course I did." He says, eyes glazed over as he focuses back on the tv.
"Yeah." He gently pinches your cheek. You continue to eat and focus on the movie, but at this point, there are so many burning questions you want to ask him. It could be the liquid courage surging through your veins, but part of you also didn't want to miss out on the chance of having this conversation with him.
Him, the man who you loved so, so deeply. Madly, intensely.
"You ever wonder what life would be like if.."
"If, what?" He cocks his head to look at you.
"You know, if—"
"If you had just given me a chance to make shit better? Of course. Thought I made that pretty clear last time."
"Yeah but also, what if everything had been perfect from the get-go? You and me. You going off to med school. Me becoming a veterinarian. Life falling into place like we had always wanted." He shrugs.
"Then it would have been boring, wouldn't it? If things were so pristine and perfect." Silence. He's right. Who the fuck are you even kidding at this point? Did you really need to remind yourself that you stepped away first? "Honestly wouldn't mind it though, if we were doing it side by side. Things are never boring with you."
"Is it boring now?"
"Are you happy with Lexie?"
"Of course I am, Y/N. It's just—I didn't expect to see you again and now I feel like I've been thrown for a loop. I don't understand it."
"Are you happy with August?" He fires back, but he says in a way where he knows you'll hide from him, stray away from the truth. Just like you tried to do the other night. He caught on and he caught on well.
"Hm." He hums. He doesn't believe it one bit, not with that tone.
"We're just in this routine, you know? It's comfortable, I guess. Safe."
"Things are never boring with you." You repeat, tilting your head and looking up at him. To be fair, it really could be the wine speaking, or else you don't think you'd get this deep into the conversation. He was right though, this was right. Namjoon was never boring, never one to settle in safety. Never sticking to his comfort zone. He was life, a breath of fresh air— refreshing, exhilarating. Always had you on your toes and yeah, you do miss it from time to time. Maybe you miss him, maybe you miss what you used to be. But fuck it, you're here now, there's no going back. Joonie doesn't do anything besides nod, his eyes still focused on the screen. You give off a small chuckle before taking a napkin to the corner of his mouth, wiping away at the excess steak sauce still lingering. You lean over a bit to make sure you've gotten it all, Namjoon's nose only inches away from yours. "You had a little.. yeah." You say softly, eye contact falling when you bring your gaze down to his lips. Those pink, soft, plump lips.
"Mhm." He follows your actions, the movie long forgotten at this point. You feel him slowly edging closer, his breath grazing the surface of your lips.
And then you just fucking go for it. All of a fucking sudden. You lay a kiss on him, surprising yourself after the moment happens. He's caught off guard when he watches you pull back and softly gasp.
"Shit— I'm so sorry Joonie, I—"
"Stop." He says close to a whisper while he brushes the hair of your face and cups your cheek. "You really have to stop apologizing."
"I don't know what took over me." The cliché fucking excuse— way to go, Y/N. You're 0 for 2-3-whatever it is, tonight.
"Did you mean it, though?" You stay silent. You did, you really did. You always will mean it. "That's all that matters, right?" He takes your silence as a 'yes,' leaning forward to press another kiss against your lips. You take him in, all of him, even as you bring yourself closer, getting ready to straddle him. The kiss intensifies quick, but it isn't until Namjoon lets out a soft groan against your lips that you're pulling away quick.
No, no, no.
"Fuck, Joon. No. We shouldn't, okay?" You look down while your hands are pressed against his muscular chest. He sighs, tongue poking at this cheek before he nods.
"Y-yeah, right. I'm sorry Y/N, I just—" He sighs. "Got carried away with the moment, I guess." He says it like it's so easy to brush it under the rug. How? Both of your significant others were at home and you both were here, kissing up on each other? Well, fuck. Just, how? How would you tell August, how would he react?
Your thoughts are on overdrive, fixating on the fact that you hurt August with your selfish ways. How was it so easy for Namjoon to act like nothing, to act like it was no big deal? Is that how him and Lexie solve things?
"It's okay. We should finish up, I am getting kinda sleepy." You tell a white lie. You tell a white lie because at this point, you feel queasy. But you can't understand if you feel anxious and queasy because you want more, or because you're processing how bad you just fucked up.
It's a fucking shame the previous thought is still lingering. You want more, or you need more. That's the feeling.
"Yeah, I should, uh, probably get home anyways."
You quietly clean up your area, calling for room service to come and pick up your empty trays. Namjoon helps before throwing his hat back on and slinging his bag over his shoulder. It's barely hitting midnight, and you doubt Namjoon is going to go home after this. Most likely going to call up Hoseok or Seokjin to see what they're up to and vent about his feelings. They were close like that, they knew everything.
Once everything has been cleaned up, Namjoon walks towards your door, still not saying a word to you. He doesn't even look at you, doesn't really try to come near you. You grab onto his wrist gently, nibbling onto your bottom lip as you watch him slowly turn to face you.
"Hey, thank you for hanging out with me. I really do appreciate it."
"Anything for you." He says softly without a smile breaking through. You feel like you want to cry, upset that you've let yourself complicate things. You didn't want to lose Namjoon again. But all you kept doing was pushing him away, constantly.
It shouldn't be this way. You can still support Namjoon from a distance, love him from a distance. This wasn't going to work.
"Are you going to go home?"
"Honestly, no. I'll probably see what Seokjin or Hoseok is up to. I don't feel like going home right now."
"What'd I say about apologizing?" He lets out a small chuckle before turning the door knob. "Text me if you need me." You nod, watching him walk out.
Text me if you need me?
More like text me when you get your shit together and stop playing. You can't help but let a few tears fall down because it's starting to remind you of how crazy, how intense, how deep you and Namjoon's relationship had gotten. The love, the fighting, the yelling, the cuddling— all the good and the bad, the ugly. The picture perfect moments. You crack open one or two of the tiny bottles of Bacardi, chugging it down straight before you head to bed and sulk.
It's a repetition of the other night, where time suddenly hits 2am and you're still not asleep. You're still sitting up against the headboard, tv softly playing in the background. You aren't sure what's on or what's playing, can't really make sense of reality at the moment. Thoughts are circling around Namjoon and everything about him. The way he used to touch you, love you, the way he'd fuck you, the way he'd handle you.
God, it was doing things to you. Made you feel a certain way, made you feel excited like it had been something you were missing this entire time. Pussy clenching around nothing at the thought of Namjoon kissing on you, thick cock in between your thighs. And although it shouldn't be this way, although this wasn't going to work— tonight, just for tonight, you want to let it work. You want to make it work.
And Namjoon almost chokes on the drink he's been slowly sipping on when he sees your response, while Hoseok and other mutual friends sitting next to him at a bar nearby. This is probably what you meant earlier when he asked if you were happy with August. This is what he had been waiting for. This is what he wanted to hear.
"So, what now?"
"I don't know." Joon picks up his phone to text you back, Hoseok's eyes on the text you had sent him.
"You two can't be serious right? You're both in relationships, this could get messy."
"It's not going to, Hobi." That's all Hoseok needs to hear. He remembers how torn the fuck up Namjoon was when you two had called it quits [or when you had called it quits]. How long it took him to step into another relationship. How he can tell he was never over you, never really tried to get over you. Never was going to get over you.
"It could just be the moment, it's been so long, maybe this will pass. You can't just give up everything with Lexie—"
"I never said I was."
"You think I don't know you, Namjoon? You're not gonna let her go easily, not this time around."
"I gotta go." Namjoon tucks his phone into his pocket before heading out.
"Don't do anything stupid." Namjoon waves him off before turning the corner to head to his car. He doesn't even waste time, doesn't even waste his breath. He's back at your door in the next 15 minutes, knocking like his life depended on it. Once you open the door, he's cupping your cheeks, kissing you roughly, tongues aggressively fighting for dominance, teeth clicking.
Tonight, you want to let this work.
You're laying back on the bed while he crawls on top, clothes being ripped off and tossed across the room. He's squeezing your breasts before popping in a nipple, one by one. You let out a loud moan when you feel his tongue circle your hardened bud before pulling back with a loud pop. It's almost like he's on borrowed time with the way he kisses your body quickly, but tenderly. The way he laps at your clit, licking and sucking at the right pressure. You jut your hips upward into his mouth, not even the slightest bit embarrassed at how quick he makes you cum with his tongue work.
"Fuck!" You yell as your body trembles, but Namjoon is making his way back to your jaw, your neck, nipping at the surface while one hand is wrapped around his cock— fat tip smacking against your wet pussy and sending jolts through your body.
"God, fuck. Always thought you were perfectly made for me." He moans deeply in your ear as he slips himself inside, slowly pulling his cock back before hammering into you. His large hands are placed against your thighs, keeping them wide open for him as he fucks into you.
Tonight, you want to make it work.
He's thrusting so fucking hard and deep that you find yourself nearing your edge so quick, the heat of the moment only intensifying after every push and pull. The sounds in the room are nothing short of pornographic— the squelching of your pussy, skin against skin, names being called out. You tug on his hair when you feel yourself tipping over the edge, his hand now placed around your neck for stability while his thrusts become sloppier.
He feels you, he really feels you.
"I'm— gonna— gonna fucking cum again, Namjoon, please." You beg and you whine, whine and beg. Shortly after, Namjoon feels your walls clenching all around him and as much as he wants to cum inside you, he knows he shouldn't. He quickly pulls out, stroking himself until he empties every last bit on your breasts, watching as your face continues to contort in pleasure.
"You're so good, love. You're always so good." He whispers in your ear, sweetly kissing your neck, your forehead and your lips. He stays there for a minute before he helps clean you up, saving a bit on his fingers for you to lick clean.
You don't even put your clothes back on, he doesn't even put his clothes back on. You find your legs intertwining with his as he holds you close. He kisses you repeatedly, kisses you like he never left, like you never walked away. And you stay there, letting him take you in, letting yourself escape from the good reality you live in because this, this was better. This was what you wanted.
Tonight, you want to believe it still works.
tags [OPEN]: @preciouschimine @miinoongi @thebeebi @bluesharksandfish @asweeetdisposition @ggukkieland @unicornbabylover @hannah2291 @koyakoyaa @hearteuforjoonie @ahgasearmyfan @jimidol @jarka112 @jikookiekosmos @codeinebelle @shesoldbutcute @awhnamjoon @eektaetae @sunflwrxclouds @safi4x @kaepjjangiya @dianaxnyc @ppeachyttae @ivechangedforyou @vantxx95 @maknaechu @namjooningelsewhere @bunnybearrj @babycoffeefire @jj134340 @tanbae @itegamibachi (couldn’t tag!)
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