#jordsie

[scripts4dreamers]

Not Your Hero. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Chapter one, Chapter two, Chapter three, Chapter four, Chapter five

AN: Whaaaaaaat? A chapter of a WIP? From me? Insanity

Characters: Finnick Odair, Coriolanus Snow, Mags Flanagan, James Karakus, Annie Cresta

Pairings: Finnick x reader

Spoiler(s): None

Warning(s): Mentions of blood, death, murder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, psychological manipulation, intimidation 

Prompt/Inspiration: House in Nebraska - Ethel Cain

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While the games are on, no one ever really leaves the viewing room. Finnick knew that, all the mentors did, but for you this was a whole new experience. He watched you pace like a caged animal, stress eat from the neverending flow of food brought in by avoxes, and talk with James in a low voice whenever something happened. He knew for a fact that you didn’t sleep at all. Some of the others did, he did, but you just sat on the couch every night with your knees pulled up under your chin, staring at the screen.

Because of that, you watched Adam Donaldson die in real time on the second night. Finnick had stayed up with you, sitting in a shared and quiet vigil because, if he was honest, he’d seen it coming. Maybe you’d seen it too, because the first tear had slipped down your cheek before the careers had even noticed the smoke from Adam’s small campfire and made the connection. Finnick wished he could say it had been quick and painless, an arrow to the heart, a snapped neck. It wasn’t. It had been a slow day and Finnick knew better than anyone how those kids were trained, first and foremost, to entertain. He tried not to watch Annie, tried not to watch you watching Annie, reminded himself not to tell you that Annie was a good girl, really, that she was just doing as she was told. Compassion would come later, he promised himself, for now you were living one of the worst moments in a mentor’s life. You wouldn’t appreciate a spirited defense of your tribute’s killer.

It took the careers three full hours to finally put Adam Donaldson out of his misery, and you didn’t make a sound the entire time. You didn’t shift or move or eat. You barely blinked. Adam screamed and bled and died, and Finnick watched you bear it, adding another lost life to the list of sins you could never really really be forgiven for. A few mentors tried to stop by and comfort you but you brushed them off or snapped for them to leave you alone, like an animal in a trap. Finnick was the only person who was spared your annoyance so he held your hand and didn’t let go. He didn’t try and tell you that it wasn’t your fault, he knew you wouldn’t have listened. Instead, he just promised that it would be over soon. Just hang on, he whispered again and again, just hold on for a little longer and then it’ll be over. If nothing else, it would be over.

When the dust settled and the remaining body fragments had been collected, Finnick had watched something in you deflate and his heart pinched. He knew that moment, the pain, the guilt, the relief. You’d made it through. You’d gritted your teeth and made it through.

“First one’s the hardest,” Haymitch had slurred, shocking Finnick, who hadn’t thought Haymitch had even noticed what was happening, “Gets easier,” he shrugged, “or so they keep telling me.”

You gave him a look, as though you were weighing up the benefits of biting his head off, but eventually you just nodded, “Thanks, Haymitch.”

“Don’t thank me,” he replied, “I didn’t say it gets bearable.”

Finnick felt a rush of protectiveness sweep over him, but he forced himself to just stay at your side until you assured him that you would be alright, and then he allowed himself a rest. You returned to your pattern. You watched the male tribute from Four get beheaded by a rival a few days later, watched Serena slip away into the darkness, clutching a bleeding shoulder that wouldn’t heal, watched Annie’s psyche start to crack as she isolated herself and cradled the air, imagining it was her partner’s bloody body. And you told it all to Finnick each morning in a dull, monotone voice, the bags under your eyes getting darker and darker with each passing day. He wanted to help. He wished that there was something he could say or do to help you deal with the grief, but he couldn’t. He had to focus, to keep his eye on the end point and, right now, he had other things on his mind.

Annie was AWOL.

Losing Ajack had broken something inside of her. You’d told him the whole story; about how he’d gotten into an argument with the boy from District one, how they’d pushed and shoved at one another until the boy from one had picked up an ax and ended it, hacking at Ajack’s neck while his partner held Annie back. Apparently she’d screamed at the boy to stop, begged him even, and after Ajack’s head had been completely severed, she’d held his body for so long that the hovercraft hadn’t been able to collect it until the early hours of the morning. After that, she’d vanished, disappearing into the bush without any supplies. Whenever the camera found her now, she was muttering to herself, or fiddling with her fingers, or staring out into space like she wasn’t there anymore.

Finnick had never felt more helpless. He’d chewed his nails down to the beds, and used every tool of persuasion in his arsenal to keep sponsors from pulling out. He supplied Annie with food and water, with sleeping gear and climbing supplies. None of it had helped. Now, as he clung to the very edges of his sanity and wracked his brain, he had to admit: he was out of tricks. There was nothing else he could do. The sponsors had pulled out in favor of the pair from district one; Annie had no weapons and, even if she did, she was in no fit state to use them and, worst of all, it had been nearly two days since the last gruesome death. That usually meant one thing; the crowd would be getting antsy and the gamemakers would be planning something awful. He watched Annie’s lifeless body on the screen as she twitched and muttered in her sleep, his heart twisting into painful knots.

“Finnick!” Annie screeched, giggling as she scrambled up the rocks and away from his attacks, “Stop! I don’t want to get wet.”

“Why?” he laughed, pushing up off the ocean floor and letting himself float on his back.

The cool water lapped against his temples, filling his ears and cradling his body in its strong, reliable arms. He loved the water, lived for it. There was nowhere that he felt more at home, or more like himself than when he could taste saltwater on his lips and feel sand on his skin. His stomach churned with anxiety and a mixture of fear and anticipation, but he breathed in deep, filling his lungs with bright sunlight and the smell of warm ocean rocks and let the rocking of the waves soothe him.

Annie was perched on the rocks like a seabird, her long dark hair swirling and tangling in the wind as she watched him swim, a kind of quiet longing in her eyes. Not for Finnick himself of course, but for his comfort, for his ease in the ocean. Annie was terrified of the sea, she always had been. She was a strong swimmer, as all the kids in district four were, but she’d never trusted it, never truly believed that it could carry her and support her weight. She always felt, privately, in the back of her mind, that it was just waiting to drag her under, to a dark watery grave. Finnick opened one eye and gave her, what he hoped was, a confident smile.

“Like what you see, Cresta?” he joked

She scoffed, a delicate blush coloring her cheeks, “You wish.” she paused, worrying at the inside of her cheek, “How are you never nervous? It’s reaping day, and you haven’t even broken a sweat.”

Finnick pushed forward, tipping into a steady tread, and shrugged, “Nothing to be nervous about. We’re fourteen, Annie, it’s not going to be us.”

“It might be,” she argued, “York said that none of the older kids are volunteering this year.”

“Why wouldn’t they be?”

Annie shrugged, “They just aren’t.”

“But they have to.” He insisted, “That’s the rules.”

“We haven’t won in years,” Annie reminded him, “I think they’re just sick of volunteering to die.”

Finnick pressed his lips together, feeling the cold hand of dread creeping into his chest again. No volunteers? That was unheard of. What would happen now? A normal reaping? Could anyone be picked now? Could he be picked? He met Annie’s eye and saw his own terror reflected there in vibrant sea green.

“It won’t be us, Annie,” he assured her, hoping that he sounded more confident than he was, “I promise you, it won’t be us.”

Finnick’s eyes started to sting and he swore softly under his breath, burying his head in his hands and carding his fingers through his hair. It felt like his heart was shattering piece by piece and dragging him down into the depths along with it. Out of the corner of his eye Finnick saw a familiar shadow and, despite everything, some of the tension in his shoulders relaxed. You collapsed onto the couch beside him, reaching out and resting a hand on his back comfortingly. God, he hated how good that felt. He hated how he longed to lean into your touch, to bury his head in the crook of your neck and weep like the broken boy he was. I’m just a kid! He wanted to scream, I can’t do this! I can’t do this anymore!

“I know, Fin,” you whispered, as though you could read his mind, “you’re doing so well.”

A tear slipped down his cheek and he shook his head frantically, “Annie’s screwed. The sponsor’s are gone, she’s barely eating. There’s nothing I can do to save her.”

You were quiet for a moment, “There’s never anything we can do, really. It’s always just a big gamble.”

“I know but-”

“And you aren’t out of sponsors. I spoke to my guys and they’re going to back Annie since-” You pressed your lips together, “since Adam’s gone and Serena-well-she’s not going to be able to hold on much longer.”

Finnick’s head shot up, a mixture of relief and incredulousness filling him so suddenly that he wasn’t even sure he’d heard you right.

“What? Y/N, no-I can’t accept that.”

You shrugged, a hint of a sad smile at the corner of your mouth, “Good thing you don’t have a say then. Take the help, Finnick. If not for you, then for Annie. She needs you on top of your game right now.”

He remembered the way Adam had called for his mother, how you’d flinched as each slow, deliberate cut had chipped away at the person he’d been until there was only a bloody corpse. Annie had been a part of that but, looking at you now, it didn’t seem to matter.

He shook his head again, the momentary relief being swallowed up again by hopelessness, “She can’t win. She can’t even seem to walk in a straight line right now.”

For a long moment you just watched the screen together, two victors acting in perfect synchronicity. You watched the pair from district one slice through the underbrush like demigods, looking powerful and determined and painfully self-assured. Smart money was on them, anyone could see that. They had everything on their side; all the training, all the sponsors, all the gear and, most dangerously, that deadly team mentality that would keep them together until it stopped serving them. Finnick knew how powerful that bond could be, it had kept him alive more than once during his games and his every instinct told him it would get this pair through it too. However, as useful as weapons, sponsors, food and allies were, you’d had none of that. You’d been alone from the moment you were reaped. You had no skills, no real buzz, no friends. No one had given you more than half a look in the Capitol, and you’d come out on top anyway. The thought gave Finnick hope. Maybe Annie wasn’t completely screwed. Maybe, with you by his side, Finnick could still find a way to bring her home.

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No one had really believed Annie Cresta had a shot. Not James, not Chaff, not Brutus, not Seeder, not even Mags really. When Ajack had died, every reliable metric in the book had said that district four’s hopes of having a winner on their hands had died with him. But every reliable metric in the book had also had you pegged as an early death, so you said fuck the metrics, and believed in her anyway. The more you felt Finnick give up, the harder you believed. The more other mentors started to gently suggest that you let her go and move on, the more vehemently you insisted that she wasn’t out of the game yet and redoubled your efforts. At some point over the past few days, possibly when she’d gone against her team and given Adam the death he’d long since earned, Annie Cresta had started to mean something to you.

She was every discounted tribute, every long shot who got written off and left to die. She was you, and she was the tributes you’d already failed to save and, maybe, if you could find a way to bring her home, you would be able to live with yourself for letting Adam and Serena die. Serena’s arm was infected now, badly. Experts said she had maybe three days of agony in front of her and there was nothing you could do to save her. But Annie was healthy. Some part of her mind had gotten her to eat and drink, she wasn’t physically injured, and a lifetime of having enough to eat gave her stamina.

She could win, and she would, you told yourself again and again. She had to.

You told Finnick too, and when you did some of his old sparkle would threaten to rear its head and he would almost smile. Almost. It never lasted. He slipped in and out, between resigned, grieving and unimaginably tense. Sometimes, you had the sneaking suspicion that your hand between his shoulder blades was all that was keeping him anchored to this reality. So you kept it there, and you fed him bits of biscuits and sandwiches, got him to drink water, shower and sleep, and you wondered how long he would last, and what would be left of him if Annie didn’t make it out.

Selfishly, unforgivably, a part of you wondered if he was in love with her. You would never ask, of course. It wasn’t your business, it wasn’t the right time, but you couldn’t stop the wondering. Was Annie the one who Finnick lay in bed pining for? Was she the woman he daydreamed about and had planned a future with? Did it bother you if she was? Always, it came back to the same single fact; it didn’t matter. You wanted Finnick to be happy, and you needed Annie to come home. That was that.

Some days you were so close to the edge that it was only the memory of Finnick’s voice in your head that kept you from crumbling.

Just hold on, he’d whispered, you’re so strong, you can do this, it’ll all be over soon. It was like a mantra now, more than a prayer, a promise that this too would pass. There would be time to fall apart, time to grieve, just not yet. First you had to get through, and get Annie through.

You spent your 17th birthday throwing a massive party for potential sponsors. It was the event of the season, the magazines exclaimed, absolutely anyone who was anyone was invited. Finnick and Mags weren’t there, a few noted, but that was to be expected this far into the games. Your prep team hid the signs of exhaustion under layers of makeup and pressed fake finger nails over your chewed ones. Your stylist pulled you into a tight, revealing outfit that, months ago, you would have been too self conscious to wear out, strapped you into some heels and you were ready. The music was loud, the press was there and the party lasted all night. You let the tv crews interview you, you gushed about the Capitol, choking down disgust. You danced with those victors who had come in support of you, and you flirted and teased your way to raising enough money to buy Annie some iodine for her drinking water.

Back at the control center, after you had scrubbed off the remnants of the powders and creams and sickly sweet perfumes and slipped into something more comfortable, Chaff brought you a cake shaped like a lightning bolt. James took responsibility for all the presents the other victors, and your various admirers, had lavished you with. You and Finnick ate pieces of cake together on the couch, sighing with relief as Annie successfully treated her water and took her first long drink in two days. You didn’t think about your last birthday.

After Chaff and James had led everyone in a genuinely enthusiastic bout of “Happy Birthday”, Finnick nudged you with his arm, tearing your attention away from the screens, where the pair from one were hot on the trail of the boy from nine.

“Happy birthday, Y/N/N,” he said softly, his deep green eyes sparkling with something so sweet it made your teeth ache, “I-”

“You don’t have to say anything,” you interrupted feeling, with certainty, that he was going to apologize for not being with you in the sponsor pit, “there’s more important things right now.”

Finnick smiled with a fondness that had you feeling uncomfortably found out, and he strung an arm around you loosely, turning both of your bodies so you were facing each other. It was the first time you’d seen him look fully away from the screens and monitors in days.

“I was going to say that I’m…I’m glad we met,” he explained, “and that I hope, for your next birthday, we can do something a little less morbid.”

You pressed your lips together, feeling oddly touched, and tried not to think about how, for that to happen, both of your tributes next year would have to be dead.

“Thanks, Finn,” you said instead, “I’m glad we met too.”

He took your hand and kissed your knuckles gently, sending a tingle of electricity through your entire body as he pressed a small gift into your palm.

“For later,” he explained, as you examined the parcel.

You nodded in understanding, slipped the parcel into your bag and, again acting with the perfect synchronicity of two people with identical goals, you both turned back to your monitors to watch for signs of trouble.

Two weeks into the games, after everyone had written her off, you knew Annie had won. It happened quickly, a few days of rain, some flooding and a crack. The dam seemed as though it fell in slow motion and, in mere moments, all the perfectly laid plans Cashmere and Gloss had been working on all season fell to ruin. Serena barely stirred as the wave crashed down on her, by all accounts she died in her sleep and you counted it as a mercy.

The gamemakers slowed the wave, so it didn’t flatten the competition entirely but, by nightfall, even those who could swim were starting to struggle. The beautiful arena was now entirely flooded and Annie was swimming. Not paddling around, not hanging on for dear life. Instead, for the first time since Ajack’s death, she was virtually coming to life. She gilded through the water like a sea otter, evading the other tributes with ease and finding safe areas to rest away from the dangerous currents and undertow.

“She’s going to make it,” Finnick said incredulously, “Oh my god, Y/N, she’s going to make it.”

You nodded, “Hell yeah she is.”

A few stragglers held on for a while but, after another two days, Annie Cresta was airlifted out of the drowned arena, the official victor of the 70th Hunger Games. When the final canon sounded you couldn’t contain the sound of relief and excitement that slipped past your lips, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. It was like watching a dream play out in real life. When you looked at the screen you saw yourself, felt the momentary rush of terror followed by pure ecstasy as you realised that the impossible had happened: you had won, you were going home.

She had won. She was coming home.

If you were happy, Finnick was joy personified. He leapt to his feet and cheered, laughing with the unrestrained incredulousness of someone who had been well and truly hopeless for ages. You smiled up at him as he watched the screen hungrily seeing, for a moment, his youth written on his body like a sign. It was easy to forget sometimes that he was only eighteen. It was easy to forget that you yourself were only technically an adult with how old and world weary you already felt. You tore your eyes away from Finnick and let them fall on Mags who was weeping silently, a wrinkled hand pressed to the base of her throat as she smiled. She caught your eye and extended her free hand for you to take. You gave it a squeeze and you hoped she could feel your sincerity, how truly happy for district four you were. A year after you had personally ripped their chances away, they were bringing home a win. It felt almost fair.

“I didn’t think I would see another win,” she explained to you softly, “not in my lifetime. I didn’t think I would get to bring another one home.”

“But you did,” you said, looking back at Finnick, “you did it.”

Mags shook her head, giving your hand another squeeze, “You did it, the both of you. Finnick is a wonderful mentor, but even he couldn’t have gotten any more help to her without your sponsors. I won’t forget that.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I won’t forget that,” she repeated, “and I’ll make sure he never does either.” she finished, gesturing at Finnick with her head.

At that exact moment Finnick seemed to remember your existence and he turned back, sweeping you up into his arms and spinning you around like a carousel.

“We did it!” He laughed, “We did it, Y/N, we did it!”

“We did,” you agreed, laughing fondly as you detangled yourself.

For the briefest moment when you broke the contact Finnick seemed crestfallen, but it was over so quickly, swallowed up by his happiness, that you almost thought you must have imagined it. He pulled Mags into a similar embrace, whispering something to her too low for anyone but Mags to hear before looking back at you.

“You and me, Y/N/N, we fucking did it!”

You heard Adam’s voice in your head, saw him strain at the restraints on his wrists as he was tortured and jeered at. His sister had watched that. Sweet, kind Genna, who laughed a little too loudly and never quite knew when to stop being friendly, had watched her older brother get systematically and clinically taken apart and she would probably never be herself again now. Serena had been just kid, she hadn’t even started high school yet. She died after days of agony, with a raging fever. Her father had wept when she was reaped. They had been yours, and you’d been less than useless to them. Suddenly you were so tired, so drained. How many days had it been since you slept? The fragile pieces of you were cracking under the strain. James caught your eye, the corners of his mouth tense with suppressed grief. You don’t know what you were looking for really. Not comfort, not saving, maybe an acknowledgement? The shared recognition that something had happened, something had been lost here.

“You lot better get ready,” James said to Finnick and Mags, coming to your rescue, the way he was wont to do, “Annie is going to need you both. You don’t want her to be alone when she wakes up.”

Finnick looked like he wanted to argue, but a brief word from Mags seemed to remind him where he was. He shot you and your mentor an apologetic look, but you could still see the shimmering, bubbling excitement just under the surface, ready to burst forward at any second.

“Thank you,” he said seriously, “both of you. Just-” he breathed, letting out a burst of relieved laughter, “thank you so much.”

You felt James’ hand on your shoulder, a rough but familiar anchor to reality and you gave Finnick a genuine smile. Just a little longer, you heard him whisper in your mind, just keep it together for a little longer.

“Of course,” James said, speaking for you both, “it’s the least we could do.”

That was a lie, but you all knew it, so it couldn’t hurt anyone.

“I’m so happy for you,” you said, “truly.”

Some of Finnick’s franticness seemed to seep out of him into something softer and fonder and you watched, in real time, as he remembered where you were, what you’d lost, what you’d been through.

“Y/N-” he started, moving as though to step toward you.

Your eyes were pricking now, the suppressed panic and rage rearing its head so powerfully that you were almost frightened of yourself. James tightened his grip on your shoulder and, in one fluid motion, moved subtly between you and Finnick, angling his body in such a way as to not be obvious but still clearly making himself a barrier. Finnick recoiled, a flash of hurt crossing his perfectly sculpted face. You wanted to assure him, your instinct was to reach out and promise that you were fine, that he’d done nothing wrong, that of course you wanted to stay and be with him and Mags, but you were just so fragile. James felt like a lifeline, like your protector, swooping in and delivering you from the private hell you’d been living in and, if you were honest, there was nothing you wanted more than to fall apart in private.

Mags tracked the interaction with her eyes, tugging Finnick’s arm gently as he stared James down.

“Come, boy,” she said soothingly, “Annie will be waiting.”

Finnick gave you one last deeply apologetic look, and then nodded, letting Mags pull him away. James didn’t move. He stayed where he was, waiting until every last mentor, even drunk old Haymitch Abernathy, had slipped out of the control center before he stepped forward and crouched down in front of you.

His face was creased with concern, his dark eyes filled with the deep understanding that only someone who had personally put you back together more than once could ever have, and you absolutely shattered. In moments you had collapsed into a fit of broken sobbing, keening like a wounded animal as weeks of pent up anxiety and fear rushed out at once. To his credit, James didn’t try to calm you down, he just let you cry. He’d always been wonderful at knowing what you needed, how to get you through the pain without smothering you or talking down to you. Even before you were a victor. Even when you were just a scared fifteen year old girl who’d been handed a death sentence.

It felt like you stayed there for an eon, working through every last drop of resentment and disappointment in yourself until there was nothing left but a sort of deep, throbbing ache.

“I am happy for them,” you eventually said, voice shaky through your tears, “r-really I a-am.”

“I know,” James assured you kindly, “I know, but you can be happy for them and furious for us at the same time. I know they were when you won last year.”

You nodded, feeling the first slivers of solid ground beneath your feet again as you wiped your face and took deep, steadying breaths.

“Did you cheer and twirl people around too?” you asked, trying for a joking tone and almost succeeding.

“Oh yeah,” he answered, “you bet I did. I was fist pumping the air and shouting like a maniac, I thought Finnick was going to swing on me. I think I threw a chair.”

“What?” you laughed incredulously, “You did not.”

“I’m pretty sure I did,” James insisted, “Y/N/N I was so proud of you. I cried like a baby for days.”

You sniffed and wiped your eyes again, welcoming the change of topic, “You did?”

He nodded, giving you another fond look and giving your shoulder a squeeze, “You were amazing, you did everything right, made good on every opportunity. I did my job, I set things up but you just…” he shook his head, whistling, “you just ran with it. I’ve been doing this for twenty-three years and I’ve never seen anyone come close to the upset you pulled off.”

You felt something that could have been pride, a stubborn urge to take some pleasure in your win, before the sadness won out again and your lip began to tremble.

“Fat lot of good it did them,” you said, “fat lot of good I did them.”

James sighed, “That’s what I’m trying to say here, there’s nothing you could have done. You made it out because you played smart, you fought hard, you kept your wits about you and you clawed your way to the top, not because I did something to get you out.”

“I had sponsors.”

“Not at first,” James admitted, “not enough, not nearly enough. You convinced more people to put their money behind Adam from the start than I’d managed to rustle up for you. At the end of the day the money means jack shit, there’s only so much we can do.”

“I told them to shift their pledge to Annie,” you whispered, Serena’s shaking body flashing behind your eyes like snippets of film, “I could have poured more into Serena. I told them not to, I told them to sign with Finnick and-”

“And Annie won.” he reminded you kindly, “Those rich idiots will blame you for their massive payouts and they’ll trust you implicitly now. How many more kids will you be able to help with their money in the coming years, hmm? The handful of die hard rich people we still had available to us couldn’t have raised the funds to save Serena from that infection, Ash, you know that.”

“I could’ve done something! I could’ve-”

He shook his head, “No, you couldn’t have. Listen, whatever you think you could’ve done, I’ve tried it. I’ve tortured myself with what-ifs for longer than you’ve been alive, they never work. Trust me, you did everything right.”

You tried your hardest to listen, to really take in what James was saying like he was offering you a balm for your aching heart, but the pain just sat there in your chest, stubbornly refusing to dull.

You felt your eyes start to prick again and you longed for home, for your mother’s embrace and the safety of your room.

“Then why does it hurt so much?” You cried, collapsing into James’ chest again as you devolved into a fresh bout of sobs.

James doesn’t have an answer for that, so he just held you close and tried to be as comforting as he possibly could be. James’ feelings for you were….surprising, to him at least. When he’d turned thirty-nine he’d joked to Ivette that the only thing he wanted for his fortieth was to make one return journey to the district with a living person. Just one, he’d laughed with an edge of franticness, he wasn’t asking for the plethora of success stories the mentors from some of the other districts had, he just wanted one.

It had been a joke, mostly, but here you were. When he’d first met you on the train after the reaping, there’d been a sort of ache in the back of his teeth, like the ghosts of the countless hours spent biting down on his jaw were finally coming back to haunt him. You were so young, he remembers thinking, not yet sixteen and already doomed to die. Only…there was something about you, something in your eyes that felt like defiance. It felt like anger, like the will to live. James had looked at you on the train and had seen himself, but even that hadn’t been enough to override his deep dread. He’d lost too many to have any real hope for your survival. At most, he hoped you would die quickly, and without suffering.

He still did his job, of course. He smiled, he made contacts with possible sponsors, liaised with stylists and publicists, he gave you advice on how to play smart, and he mapped out a place along his spine to tattoo your name, alongside the nearly forty others he carried with him, when you died. Unfortunately, as the big day came closer, James had gotten sort of fond of you. You were funny and smart, and you had a sharp tongue that made him laugh incessantly, but that also spoke to how personable you could be. Your interview had been a smash hit. You had an instinctual knack for grabbing an audience’s attention and holding it. For the first time in decades, James had felt something resembling hope, but he crushed it down. He reminded himself that there was only so much he could do, that personability wasn’t enough. He’d settled down and re-resigned himself to watching you die and delivering you home in a box.

The games started and when you made it through the first day, and the second, and the third, that damn spark of hope had come back in full force. It was small, he tried to temper it but when, on the fourth day, you’d managed to literally tear your way out of a net with a combination of your hands and teeth, and had successfully rewired the trap to spring up and capture your original capturer, he’d known that you could win. James had never worked the sponsor circuit that hard. He barely slept, he did anything and everything he could to get you whatever you needed; medicine for your bloody hands, food, some wire and, eventually, a current generator. He’d poured twenty-two years of dashed hopes and dreams into you, broken every carefully cultivated rule he’d ever set for himself about not getting attached and, when Claudius Templesmith announced that you were the winner of the sixty-ninth annual Hunger Games, he had wept like a baby and cheered until his voice was hoarse. Just two months shy of his fortieth birthday, James had gotten to make his return journey with you by his side, broken, battered and scarred, but alive.

Afterwards, James couldn’t quite shake his feelings of responsibility for you. He was still your mentor and you were still his tribute, and now the game he was determined to get you through was just life, the After of it all. He had never been able to bring himself to find a nice man and settle down or to have some kids of his own, but if he had, he imagined he might feel about them the way he felt about you. So this, sitting with you in his arms while you fell to pieces…well, it hurt pretty damn bad.

“Y/N/N,” he said gently, when your body had stopped heaving and your violent sobs had softened and faded, “let’s get you home, yeah?”

You nodded, wiping your eyes with the heel of your palm, and James couldn’t help but see your youth. You were a couple of days past 17, practically a baby in his eyes, and already the kind of tired that most adults don’t get until their mid-forties. You knew too much, you’d seen too many horrors and carried too much grief to ever be carefree, the way a 17 year-old should be and, for the millionth time, James felt the rush of pure, black rage bubble up in his stomach. He would tear the Capitol down for this, he promised himself. Not today. Not now, when Snow could take revenge for anything James did out on you and Ivette, but someday. Someday he would find a spark and he’d do what he did best, what had gotten him in that victor’s chair in the first place; he’d stoke it into a blaze, an inferno that would burn out the infection of the Hunger Games for good.

You let your mentor pull you up and walk you back to your apartments, now empty of tributes, and you clung to him like a child, wondering why you could so easily let yourself be held by him, but not by your own parents. Some small part of you wondered if this is how it started, if all those lonely victors you’d met, who had no one but each other, had once had family and friends who they couldn’t bear to be around anymore because they reminded them too much of a version of themselves that was long dead. It felt different, you noticed, as you and James sat down for dinner at an empty table. Not bad, just different, knowing that, on every floor but one, someone like you, with more scars than they deserved, was sitting down to dinner in an equally vacant apartment. Everyone had failed except Mags and Finnick. It should have felt depressing and morbid, and it was, but it was also a kind of solidarity. You weren’t suffering alone. The Capitol had done this to all of you, together and, in a way, that meant none of you were alone. Maybe this was your new home, maybe this was what you got now.

You waited until you were alone in your room to open Finnick’s present. It was small, about the size of a plum, wrapped in soft blue paper and twine. It looked too rustic for the Capitol, you noted with a sudden rush of warmth, as though he’d brought it from home just for you. Slowly, being careful not to tear the wrapping paper, you peeled it open, revealing a beautiful spiral shell, cleaned and polished, and woven bracelet. It was a combination of brown leather, blue chord and flat pearls braided together carefully, with practice and skill. Finnick and Mags both wore similar bracelets, you’d seen them weaving them aimlessly whenever they got stressed, but this was different. This one had been made for you. It wasn’t flashy, or polished, but it fit your wrist perfectly and you knew that, if it was your choice, you’d wear it forever. Slowly, you pushed yourself up and made your way over to the phone, dialing the extension for the floor below you.

“Y/N,” Finnick said, without hesitation, on the third ring, “I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I was so tactless, I-”

“What would you have done if I was James?” You interrupted, smiling despite yourself, “I could have been James, you know?”

Finnick paused and then laughed, his voice tinged with barely suppressed exhaustion, “But you’re not James, are you? You’re my-” he corrected himself, “you’re Y/N/N. Mags made me promise to give you some space, but I knew you’d call.”

You hummed in agreement, worrying at the inside of your cheek as the silence stretched, warm and comfortable, “How is she?” you eventually asked.

“Annie?” Finnick asked, “she’s…she’s alive. That’s all that matters.” he continued with a deep sigh, “Her mind is fragile right now, I’m not sure she understands what’s happened exactly, but…yeah.”

“It’s early days, Finn,” you replied instinctively, “you remember what it was like at the start. I’m sure you were a little fragile too. She’s been out of the arena for less than 5 hours, give her time.”

“I knew where I was,Y/N,” he countered ruefully, “I knew it was over, I knew I’d won.”

You sighed, “Give her time,” you repeated, “she’ll come back to you when she’s ready.”

“The doctors say she had a psychotic break,” Finnick said, his voice small and vulnerable, “they say she might not ever…that she might always be…”

“She’s alive,” you interrupted, reminding him of his earlier words, “you’ve got the rest of your lives to figure out how to move forward from this, and yeah maybe she’ll always be a little fragile. That’s alright, we’ll take care of her when she needs us to.”

“We will?” Finnick asked hopefully.

“Of course we will,” you insisted, “you, me, Mags, Chaff, James, even Haymitch. We’re all here for you, and for her.”

“I’m sure Haymitch has some thoughts about that,” Finnick replied, jokingly.

You smiled, “Yeah well, he’ll have to take it up with me if he does.”

“Terrifying,” Finnick said, and you could hear the smile in his voice. Again, you sat in silence, just enjoying the sound of one another’s breathing, before Finnick continued, “ Did you open your present?”

You looked down at the bracelet, “Of course I did. Thank you, by the way, it’s beautiful.”

“Pretty bracelet for a pretty girl, what can I say? Just made sense,” Finnick joked, slipping into his old seductive persona, which pulled a breathless laugh from your chest. You could imagine the catlike grin on his face as he lounged against the wall, all faux grace and elegance, the picture of destructive beauty. “But really, you like it?” he asked in his regular voice.

“I love it,” you promised.

There was a pause on the line, and then Finnick let out a shaky breath. You could feel the exhaustion in your own body catching up to you again, the weeks of staying awake using expensive Capitol medication finally coming for their due.

“I-uh-I need some sleep,” you explained, “I’ll see you soon, Finn.”

“See you soon, kid,” he replied, “and thank you again for-”

“Stop thanking me,” you insisted, fondly, “and don’t call me kid.”

You hung up before you had a chance to change your mind and, as you lay down in your bed and drifted off to sleep, the ghosts of the veldt crept in, joined by two new faces; a tall, lanky boy with a sister who laughed too loud, and a young girl, clutching an infected shoulder, writhing with fever.

—

Finnick stared at the phone for a long time after you hung up, trying to parse his emotions in a way that made sense. His heart was a complete wreck, torn between grief and joy and hope and, fuck it, why hide it, love. Annie was alive, but broken. You were safe, but exhausted. He had his family, but he had secrets, and he’d never be able to stop towing the line without risking losing it all again.

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispered into the empty air, covering his mouth with his hand.

Beetee had assured him that he’d blocked the audio bugs in the apartments, but old habits die hard, and Finnick wasn’t taking any chances. Not with this. Not with you. He ached for the feeling of your hand between his shoulder blades, the comforting weight that had kept him grounded for weeks and that he’d grown to rely on without even noticing it. You had a strange way of worming your way into him like that, like a drug. One hit and he was hooked for months, chasing more time, chasing more closeness.

“Finnick, dinner’s ready!” Mags called from the dining room, “The doctor sent us updated reports on Annie.”

“Coming!” He responded, casting one last look at the telephone as he left, adjusting the band of woven leather, chord and pearls on his wrist.

#jordsie #jordsie writes #The Hunger Games #thg #thg imagine #hunger games #hunger games imagine #the hunger games imagine #finnick odair #finnick x reader #finnick odair x reader #finnick imagine #finnick odair imagine #finnick x you #finnick odair x you #reader insert

[batllethinker]

Daan was in london for the arsenal v west ham game, everyone came back

#her and jordsy #the arsenal submissions

[theletterhart]

FicRec

“cuddle buddy” by @bukojuiice (katsuki bakugo x reader - boku no hero academia) (37 chapters) - (y/n)is a soft, kind-hearted, quirky, and meme queen university student who lives alone in a cute little apartment complex. she mistakens bakugo katsuki for her old neighbors; an old woman and her granddaughter whom she absolutely adores. she leaves a giant teddy bear every day before the sun rises for the little girl to see. not knowing that they had moved out suddenly, katsuki who had just moved in had never seen such a huge fluffy abomination all his life that it nearly gives him a heart attack. chaos ensues and you try your absolute best to make it up to the explosive cutie that is your next door neighbor.

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“bouncing baby” by @theamberwriter (shouta aizawa x reader - boku no hero academia) (4 chapters) - shouta aizawa and his wife used to live a peaceful life. but once their one-year-old daughter, kohaku, starts getting her quirk, and his wife becomes a school nurse, nothing is peaceful anymore.

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“the deeds of right and wrong” by @shelby-love (anthony bridgerton x reader - bridgerton) (3 chapters) - in the season of 1813, anthony realizes that he can’t stand the thought of reader being married to someone that’s not him.

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“lavender’s grey” by @tabloidteen (kit x reader - cinderella) (5 chapters)

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“hey brother” by @specialagentlokitty (aaron hotchner x winchester!reader - criminal minds/supernatural) (6 chapters)

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“tea & scones” by @jordsie (theseus scamander x reader - fantastic beasts) (2 chapters) - theseus scamander ducks into a bookstore and finds more than he bargained for.

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“silent devotee” by @swellwriting (draco malfoy x hufflepuff!reader - harry potter) (14 chapters)

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“tattoos & sweatshirts” by @rosegoldquintis (ron weasley x reader - harry potter)

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“amends” by @abovethyfold (ricky bowen x reader - high school musical: the musical: the series) (9 chapters) - that’s asking a lot of the theatre gods. then again, it does include a lot of drama, so maybe it might just work out.

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“it wasn't real” by @justauthoring (richie tozier x reader - it) (11 chapters) - you’re part of the infamous loser’s club, and often asked, what are you afraid of? you reply, nothing, but what your friends don’t know is that your biggest fear is them.

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“heartless” by @futurewriter2000 (sirius black x reader - marauders) (21 chapters) - what happens when you get along with your twin brother but not with his best friend? and what happens when you stop trying to compete with his best friend for your own brother’s attention? but you and sirius grew up side by side because of your brother, willingly or not and now you have to spend a whole summer because one by another.

“penny for your thoughts” by @writingfortoomanyfandoms (sirius black x reader - marauders) (5 chapters) - y/n y/l/n has lived in the potter household since she was eight years old. even amongst the potters, whom she knew loved her, she has never felt truly accepted, never felt like anything other than a burden. until she went to hogwarts. for the first time she had friends who weren’t forced to act as such, she had a family who loved her by choice. there, she met sirius, the first and only person to ever truly understand what she was going through, to listen to her and not judge.

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“enhanced” by @weirdochick56 (bucky barnes x reader - marvel) (6 chapters) - y/n loved mysteries. more than she loved life itself. see, y/n had always been an anomaly. weird. a cast-out. an outsider who’d become invisible to everyone around her entire life. nothing could change the fact she was an alien with weird surges of power not even she understood. or so she thought.

“heal me” by @rogue-barnes-16 (bucky barnes x nurse!reader - marvel) (10 chapters) - she was a nurse. he was a soldier. they fell in love at first sight. it was beautiful, true love. but something isn't beautiful because it lasts.

“reckless” by @anaboo-thewriter (street racer!bucky barnes x cop!reader – marvel – the fast and the furious au) (12 chapters) - the fast and the furious au. you’re an undercover cop with a mission to infiltrate a team of street racers responsible for the theft of millions of dollars’ worth in electronics. however, you didn’t think you would fall for the leader of the team and your target, bucky barnes. now you must make the decision, will you turn bucky and his team to become an fbi agent you’ve always wanted to be, or throw caution to the wind and continue to fall for a criminal?

“white wolf” by @captain-ariel-barnes (mob!bucky barnes x reader - marvel)

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“fever dream” by @unicornofdanger (peter parker x reader - marvel) (4 chapters) - leaving her past behind her, y/n finally has the life she’s been waiting for, working for the avengers and being around people that love her. but that all comes crashing down when her past comes back to haunt her and she’s forced to deal with it. but she doesn’t believe that those closest to her will stay by her side, even her boyfriend, peter, when her secrets come out.

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“anything” by @o-b-x (jj maybank x reader - outer banks) (5 chapters) - in which you fall for your childhood best friend.

“could it be” by @outerbankswriting (jj maybank x reader - outer banks) (12 chapters) - she has a crush on jj, but he has always seen her as another one of the “dudes”, or at least that’s what she thinks so she just doesn’t even try anymore, until things start to shift between the two of them.

“threat of joy” by @futuretaxcheat (jj maybank x reader - outer banks) (3 chapters) - jj and y/n could barely tolerate each other. the pogues were all aware of jj’s childish behavior when the boy was around y/n, but never bothered to call him out. that is, until the girl has finally had enough of it, and the blond finds himself questioning his own feelings.

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“upside down” by @inyourwildestdreamslove (sweet pea x reader - riverdale) (16 chapters) - you don’t know much about sweet pea, except for what you hear in the hallways around school. you pass him on your way to and from classes and you’ve perhaps brushed his arm a hand full of times. you don’t know him and he doesn’t know you. that is until you save his baby sister from the ghoulies all while simultaneously getting involved in a world you want nothing to do with and events you would rather stay out of. too bad the ghoulies have other ideas…

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“his property” by @negans-lucille-tblr (dean winchester x reader - supernatural) (30 chapters) - when y/n starts a relationship with dom dean winchester, she moves into winchester manor with him and his younger brother, sam. but sam doesn’t agree with their lifestyle, and it isn’t long before he grows an unhealthy obsession with wanting to treat y/n like more than property. she deserves more, so much more. she is perfect. she is everything he wants and he is going to get her.

“her property” by @negans-lucille-tblr (dean winchester x reader - supernatural) (part of “his property”) (10 chapters) - things finally seem to be going well. family life is good and john and lily are getting married. but their wedding brings ghosts from the past back home and y/n is left to deal with the consequences. sam seems to have changed for the better but is it enough to finally forgive him? or will she let her need for revenge consume her?

“yours” by @negans-lucille-tblr (dean winchester x reader - supernatural) (sequel to “his property”) (10 chapters) - it’s been 9 months since dean admitted his feelings and became yours. things are going well, but the past has secrets and secrets have consequences.

“royal duties” by @becs-bunker (prince!dean winchester x knight!reader - supernatural) (9 chapters) - you’re a knight to the royal family and the personal guard of prince dean. your friendship with the royal is surprisingly good, until you discover a secret that could threaten the entire kingdom.

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“smoke and fire” by @writingsbychlo (thomas x reader - the maze runner - firefighter au) (17 episodes) - thomas is the lieutenant of the squad team at firehouse ‘21, and has a stick up his arse so high it’s a surprise he can still walk. or, that’s what you believe, at least. you’re a paramedic, with an attitude problem and the inability to settle down, so there must be something wrong with you. or, that’s what thomas believes, at least. maybe there’s something you both need to get over.

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“his flower crown” by @iwriteisthatenough (klaus mikaelson x reader - the originals)

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“liar” by @brianprobablywill (ben hardy x reader - fake dating au) (15 chapters) - ben knew he could rely on his best friend for anything. anything in the world. but this… he knew he was pushing it

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“i need you” by @writingfortoomanyfandoms (calum hood x reader) - the relationship through the years

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“according to plan” by @corpsesbaby (corpse husband x reader - fake dating au) (6 chapters) - when corpse is finally fed up with a streamer named avalanche who will not stop flirting with him, he asks for your help to get rid of her. what’s starts as a simple fake dating set-up to try and shake her off, proves to be a lot more difficult as you ensnare yourselves more in the lie that starts to act more like a truth. where do you draw the line? how much can you take before you fall? find it out in according to plan.

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“common courtesy” by @madmadmilk (harrison osterfield x reader) (4 chapters)

“love and light in hell” by @skymoonandstardust (harrison osterfield x reader)

“the tea shop girl” by @lamptracker (harrison osterfield x barista!reader) (21 chapters) - harrison osterfield falls for the cute american girl that runs the tea shop just down the street. this is their story.

“the art of pretending” by @h-osterfield (harrison osterfield x reader – university au) (17 chapters) - being more of a part-time student at the university of the arts london for film and television and part-time hype man for his best friend tom holland, there usually isn’t a day where harrison doesn’t show up late and hungover to class. as a role model student you try your best to stay out of trouble - especially if the boy trouble involves harrison osterfield and tom holland. what happens when both worlds collide nonetheless?

“bite me” by @beautifullydisconnected (vampire!harrison osterfield x vampire!reader) (3 chapters)

“mal en point” by @tominhoodies (king of hell!harrison osterfield x angel!reader) (15 chapters) - heaven fucking sucks.

“tidal wave” by @hazofmyheart (lifeguard!harrison osterfield x lifeguard!reader - fake dating au) (5 chapters) - the dreamy new lifeguard on your crew is really good at his job and even better at catching people’s eye with his undeniable charm and shimmering baby blues. his most notable rescue, though, is swooping in when your dodgy pool manager asks you out only to claim you as his girlfriend. the fake dating ruse is anything but easy to keep up with cutthroat glares from fellow coworkers and pool patrons alike. so why does it seem impossible to break it off?

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“the perfect dates” by @eurynome827 (sebastian stan x reader) (7 chapters)

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“perdify” by @peeterparkr (tom holland x reader) (21 chapters) - tom and you have been sworn enemies since you were young. however you happened to be best friends with the twins. when one of your friends challenged you to break tom’s heart, you immediately accepted to get back at him for all the times he’s hurt you. old feelings might come back, while both of you try to go past your pride and your lies.

“perennial” by @peeterparkr (tom holland x reader) (sequel to “perdify”) (18 chapters) - after the war, tom let the flowers die of thirst, harry decided to water dry flowers and timmy never stopped taking care of his. but flowers speak for us, flowers have meanings. and like flowers, maybe you’ll keep on blooming, it’ll be up to you if you decide to wither. and it’ll be up to you what flower you end up choosing.

“sweetener” by @keepingupwiththeparkers (tom holland x reader) (25 chapters) - okay, so maybe lecture hall proximity and roast calibre weren’t the only reasons for your frequent visits to this particular coffee shop. maybe there was a certain brown eyed brunette who worked there, and maybe he always gave you two stamps on your loyalty card instead of one, and maybe you liked watching his back muscles shift under his stupidly tight t-shirt while he pumped sweet vanilla syrup into your cup. maybe.

“adventure of a lifetime” by @hollandsosterfield (tom holland x reader – tarzan au) - when tom’s parents’s boat ran aground on an island during a storm, his parents thought their baby was dead. they were able to leave the island, but little tom was trapped on the island until a gorile mother saved his life and took him under her wing. he grew up with gorillas, learned their lifestyle, it was like second nature until he met you. when you wants to leave the island to visit another one, tom have to choose between his adoptive animal family and this civilized world he dreams of discovering and the girl he’s falling for.

“remember when” by @h-osterfield (neighbor!tom holland x reader) (16 chapters) - tom holland used to be your friend. he was your first crush, your first kiss and your first heartbreak when everything started to fall apart. three years later, the two of you still live next to each other. what happens when he sees you coming home with puffy eyes and tears rolling down your cheeks? will he continue to act like he hates you or will he try to fix his mistakes?

“blow a kiss, fire a gun” by @hollandroos (mob!tom holland x reader) (20 chapters) - tom holland, leader of a notorious mob and someone with absolutely no time for love and relationships. he's cold, arrogant and yeah, has a lot on his plate.so what happens when he gets shoved into a deal that includes getting married to a girl he's only ever seen in photos? a girl that has no idea about the deal until the day of the signing at that and most importantly- a girl that likes to press his buttons and isn't intimidated by the gun on his hip.

“run to me” by @hollandroos (mob!tom holland x reader) (sequel to “blow a kiss, fire a gun”) (20 chapters) - you and tom are still dealing with the events from five years ago. however, some wounds are still fresher then others. tom is still running the mob, living as dangerously as ever with very large regrets and you’re living a more settled life- though, that may be an understatement.

“clear” by @peeterparkr (surfer!tom holland x reader – fake dating au) (20 chapters) - y/n is in town for summer, she wants the sea to wash away the pains of the past, however when a certain surfer comes into her life, the remaining salt might not decant, but maybe some sweet surprises might come to shore

“dog days” by @waitimcomingtoo (single dad!tom holland x vet!reader) (2 chapters) - tessa is sick and you comfort toms son

“heart like yours” by @mcuspidey-archive (boxer!tom holland x artist!osterfield!reader) - an underground fighter, caught up in his own world of darkness and his best friend’s sister, an artist who radiates color. she’s the light he’s always needed but doesn’t want to admit it and maybe she shouldn’t love him. because a heart of gold deserves better than one drenched in poison.

“not like us” by @blissfulparker (frat!tom holland x reader) (2 chapters) - you over hear some things tom said to harrison and it turns out your relationship has been something tom doesn’t want the rest of the world to see.

“clear” by @peeterparkr (surfer!tom holland x reader – fake dating au) (20 chapters) - y/n is in town for summer, she wants the sea to wash away the pains of the past, however when a certain surfer comes into her life, the remaining salt might not decant, but maybe some sweet surprises might come to shore

“night of our lives” by @ijustreallylovezebras (ringmaster!tom holland x animal trainer!reader – circus au) (3 chapters) - she’s an animal trainer, he’s the ringmaster, he doesn’t understand her

“the grand spectacle” by @hollandroos (ringmaster!tom holland x trapeze artist!reader – circus au) (8 chapters) - you’re a runaway and tom offers to take you under his wing as long as he can teach you trapeze and make you an act in his circus. he doesn’t question why exactly you ran away, that is until he notices a few strange habits you possess.

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"meet me on the football field" by @dysfunctionalcrab (character!dreamwastaken x reader - dream smp - high school au) (10 chapters) - you were always the invisible one at school. the one who would sit alone at lunch time and go unnoticed, until you were partnered with dream, your schools football captain, for a chemistry project. suddenly everything changes for you. for once, you’re the one everybody has their eye on.

#fic rec #bukojuiice #theamberwriter #shelby-love #tabloidteen #specialagentlokitty #jordsie #swellwriting #rosegoldquintis #abovethyfold #justauthoring #futurewriter2000 #writingfortoomanyfandoms #weirdochick56 #rogue-barnes-16 #anaboo-thewriter #captain-ariel-barnes #unicornofdanger #o-b-x #outerbankswriting #futuretaxcheat #inyourwildestdreamslove #negans-lucille-tblr #becs-bunker #writingsbychlo #iwriteisthatenough #brianprobablywill #corpsesbaby #madmadmilk #skymoonandstardust

[rostovs-lover]

Hey hey! Can I request a Bash x reader imagine where the reader is Mary’s younger sister and she doesn’t know Bash has been in love with her since they were children?

Like Children

Sebastian De Poitiers | major spoilers, brief mention of character death | female reader | fluff, pining, kinda slow burn for a short fic | wc.927

goodness its been a while since I’ve watched Reign, I’m so sorry if Sebastian is out of character. I also hope this isn’t as choppy rushed as I thought it was. I hope you enjoy! (Note: I’m on mobile so I can’t put the cut in, when I get computer access I will add it)

The French court had seemed unimaginable, something (Yn) had only heard about from her sister’s letters and a few brief visits when they were younger. That was until she was there, after Aylee’s murder when Mary sent for her younger sister. Now that she was stuck in a stuffy room, it was almost underwhelming. (Yn) got along with everyone, she always had, and it was nice to finally see the girls she had spent so much of her young life with. It was lonely though, lonelier than she had expected, and she had a newfound sympathy for the way Mary laminated in her letters. 

There was a knock, “Lady (Yn)?” 

She turned around, letting the curtains she had pushed back to stare out the window flutter around her. Sebastian was standing in the doorway and (Yn) almost didn’t recognize him, “Sebastian,” It was his eyes, that’s why she knew who he was. 

“I,” He cleared his throat, “I heard you’d returned to court,” 

She stepped away from the window towards him, “Yes, I arrived earlier today. It’s just as a remembered it yet so different,” 

“Well Lady (Yn), would you like for me to show you around?” Sebastian offered his arm to loop with hers.

(Yn) grinned, Sebastian realized it was the same way she always had, and accepted his arm, “What a polite offer, who would I be to decline?” 

**

Horse hooves clopping against gravel was the only sound in the quiet woods but Sebastian hardly realized. His mind was elsewhere, on Lady (Yn) Stuart and the soft way she spoke to him while they walked the gardens. He hadn’t thought much of Mary’s younger sister, not until the afternoon when he saw her again for the first time in years. Perhaps, he realized, he had chosen not to think of her, pushed her out of his mind. They had been close when they were younger and Mary had come to court with her ladies and (Yn). He could recall a certain feeling for the girl but he had simply brushed it off as a childhood infatuation. They were older now though and he still felt so strongly towards her, Sebastian couldn’t pinpoint the feeling though. Was he in love?

**

Wandering the castle in the dead of night may not have been the smartest of ideas but it was entertaining and (Yn) hadn’t been caught yet. The thought of seeing any respectable person at this hour while only wearing a nightgown crossed her mind, what an impression to make. 

The soft thump of boots against the stairs made her heart start to race and she tried to find a corner to duck around. She rushed around a wall towards a set of big double door and skidded to a stop, leaning on the wall to catch her breath. 

“Lady (Yn)?” The voice was familiar, much softer than usual seeing as it was so late, but familiar none the less, “What are you doing?” 

(Yn) peeked around the corner catching a glimpse at the approaching figures dark hair, “Goodness Sebastian, you scared me!” 

“Well milady, seeing a gown-clad figure rush through the dark hall of the castle isn’t the most welcome sight either. Why are you up?” 

(Yn) felt her face begin to flush, “Well I couldn’t sleep and why stay cooped up in my chambers when there’s so much of this castle that I haven’t seen in ages. I didn’t expect to see anyone,” 

Sebastian smiled, “Well I suppose a bit of an adventure never hurt anyone,” 

**

The soft candlelight flickered against the walls of the tunnel and a grin grew on Sebastian’s face. 

“I cannot believe I’m doing this,” He whispered, “Wandering through these passages at this hour. I don’t think I’ve done this since I was a child,” 

“Me either,” (Yn) picked at a thread on her nightgown, “I remember being terrified of these when we were first at court. I didn’t know where they would lead and I thought that I might get lost and never find my way out. One night Mary convinced me to come to follow her down one, we walked for so long. I got a bit frightened, I was worried we’d never see the light of day again but Mary being Mary, she found a way out.” A comfortable silence filled the small space as the pair wandered a bit further. 

Sebastian swallowed and steadied himself, “Lady (Yn)?” 

“Yes?”

“I think I love you,” 

(Yn) stared at him for a moment, “You… love me?” 

“I believe I do. It’s not anything new either, I’ve felt something for you since we were young but I brushed it off, told myself it was simply being a child and that it would go away but it didn’t. It never did, I’ve loved you since we were children (Yn) but I’ve only just realized it. I think when I saw you for the first time this morning it dawned upon me that these feelings were not-” He shook his head, “- Are not just a silly liking. I love you (Yn),” 

“Oh, Sebastian,” She stroked his cheek, “I believe I just might love you too,”

“Well then,” He started with a grin, “that’s quite a coincidence I’d say,” And he kissed her. 

(Yn) patted his cheek as she pulled back, “I believe we should get back before its sunrise and people start to worry about our whereabouts,” 

Sebastian chuckled, “It would be rather unfortunate to go missing on your second day at court,” He laced his fingers with hers, “Now best not get lost in these tunnels,”

#Sebastian De Poitiers #bash #reign #Sebastian De Poitiers x reader #Sebastian De Poitiers imagine #bash x reader #bash imagine #requested #jordsie #runes writing

[teenwolf-theoriginals]

Hi!!!

I wish that I could hate you, my baby We went from 2 a.m. calls to zero communication, yeah I've been thinkin' bout you Put on a brave face You broke me first

Send me a ‘hi’ and I will put my playlist on shuffle, write down the first line of five songs and give it to you as a poem.

#jordsie #ask #ask game

[captainpettie]

Gryffindor // Capricorn // ENTP // Wampus for @jordsie​

“ The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience. ” - Eleanor Roosevelt

#jordsie #hope you like it! #my edit #aesthetic #gryffindor #gryffindor aesthetic #capricorn #capricorn aesthetic #entp #entp aesthetic #wampus #wampus aesthetic

[hp-moods]

Hey! You're back, that's so wonderful! I loved the moodboards you did ages ago for me (Fleur x Bill) thank you so much! When you get the chance can you maybe do a Gryffindor/Wampus one? If you haven't already that is

I know you sent this ages ago, so I’m so sorry that it’s taken me such a long time to get to it. But I’m working on this now and I’ll have it posted later this week! Thank you for your patience and I hope you’ll like this one too!

#request #jordsie

[just-french-me-up]

Girl, the song Believer by Imagine Dragon gives me such Enjoltaire vibes, I'm dying!!

I think someone already pointed out the connection to me before but!!

I always get very vivid visuals when I listen to music I like, and the vibes I get for this is:

Grantaire at a nightclub. It’s not particularly a good night. Everything is in slow motion. From the corner of his eye, he can see Courfeyrac and Combeferre dancing together, so close it’s almost indecent. A couple of heartbeats away, Jehan is leaning against Montparnasse, their back against his chest. The two of them move like one, Parnasse’s hand resting in Jehan’s stomach.

And then there’s Enjolras.

His hair takes on the colours of the stroposcopic lights. Shadows constantly shift places on his features, drawing a thousand faces, each one more painfully sublime than the last. Grantaire’s heart pounds louder than the beat hammering in his ears.

Will he ever hold them like that? Will he ever feel the warmth of Enjolras against him? What would it take to walk the few steps separating them and ask him for a dance? Everything. It would take everything he has, and Grantaire isn’t sure he’s ready to gamble what he has left.

Grantaire needs some fresh air.

#answered #enjolras #grantaire #enjoltaire #combeferre #courfeyrac #courferre #jehan #montparnasse #jehanparnasse #jordsie

[vexedbuckbeak-blog]

I was tagged by one of my fave ladies herself, @jordsie to make a moodboard, and thought, what would be better than to make one for all the badass ladies out there!

To some of my favourite ladies on here: @goblackhatwithme @narcissxblack @ri-ddikulus @fjrebolt @hagridsrubeus @vixenevans @deerjily @theweasleysredhair @herbologic @jordsie @whizardwheezes @malfoysslytherinprincess @fayrizo @desperasian @princesse-de-ravenclaw @delos-mio @pansyparquinson and @prcfessorlupin, and to every single other badass lady out there...

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY AND MAY YOU ALL REMAIN AS BEAUTIFUL AND BADASS AS YOU ALREADY ARE!

#personal aesthetic #happy international womens day! #international womens day #goblackhatwithme #narcissxblack #ri-ddikulus #fjrebolt #hagridsrubeus #vixenevans #deerjily #theweasleysredhair #herbologic #jordsie #whizardwheezes #malfoysslytherinprincess #fayrizo #desperasian #pansyparquinson #prcfessorlupin

[scripts4dreamers]

Oh, my stars!

AN: First writing piece in a long while! I’m going back to my roots and simping over characters from the Wizarding World. So here’s a little piece about Regulus being in love with you in a potions class.  Characters: Regulus Black Pairings: Regulus x reader Warning(s): none

Y/N Y/L/N was…loud. Or maybe she wasn’t. Maybe she spoke at an entirely normal volume and Regulus was just completely unused to sitting next to someone with such a never ending stream of things to say and comment on. It wasn’t totally awful. They’d been forced together to work on a project a few months ago and, from the moment you’d sat down, you had seemed intent on acting as though you and Regulus had been friends for years. At first he’d been mortified by your chattering, and the almost comically bright smile you’d always greeted him with but, as the days went on, Regulus had the shocking realization that you were being entirely sincere. You weren’t being friendly in order to trick him, or smiling to throw him off his game, you were just kind of…like that.

It had taken time, a lot of time, for Regulus to start actually talking back. Longer for him to start smiling, but it had happened. At the end of the first month, he’d been forced to admit to himself that potions had become the best part of his day, and not because he loved Slughorn and chopping mugwort leaves. There was something exciting about having a friend that was just his, especially one who seemed perfectly content to accept his good days with his bad ones, and never pushed him to be more bubbly or open than he was ready for. Which is not to say that Regulus wasn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop and for you to move on to less prickly targets, but he’d bask in your attention for as long as he had it. And bask he did.

“Oi, Reg? Are you even listening to me?” You whispered, nudging his side with your elbow.

“Hmm?” He asked, softly, checking to see if Slughorn had picked up on your nattering.

You giggled, rolling your eyes with a fondness he wasn’t entirely sure he’d earned, and leaned in conspiratorially, “I asked if you were going out to Hogsmeade this weekend. Coraline Fawley has been bugging me about getting you to ask her out for weeks.”

You looked beautiful, as always, with your hair up out of your face and your usual glint of mischief dancing at the corner of your mouth. He spent a lot of time looking at your mouth recently. More time than he’d hoped, but less than he’d like. They were just so fascinating. Wait, what were you saying?

Regulus scrunched up his nose, “Fawley? Tell her I’d sooner go out with the giant squid.”

“Or,” you suggested, “you could tell her that yourself and not use me like an owl, for a change.”

Now it was Regulus’ turn to roll his eyes and he turned back to face the chalkboard, “It’s not like I ask you to meddle, Y/N, you just do it. If you want out, no one’s asking you to stick around.”

He heard you sigh and felt a momentary twinge of regret. Considering how little validation he gave you, you’d been wonderful about not holding his moodiness against him, but Regulus knew your patience wasn’t limitless. And, if he was honest with himself, Regulus was dreading the day he finally pushed you just that little bit too far.

“Alright, Black,” you agreed, albeit a little less enthusiastically, “whatever you say.”

You lapsed into a silence that stretched on longer than usual, seemingly dedicating 100% of your attention to the potion Slughorn had assigned, even though Regulus knew you had next to no interest in potions. As the minutes dragged on without a hint of your signature banter, Regulus couldn’t help but start to worry. This had been happening more and more lately. Little mean things would slip out and, rather than bouncing off your back like normal, they seemed to hang in the air like helium balloons, filling Regulus’ stomach with sand and a gnawing shame.

Maybe it was best, he reasoned, maybe this was the start of the pulling away process. It had to happen eventually, right? He might as well enjoy the silence and let you move on to your greener pastures filled with baby unicorns and endless Hogsmeade weekends with your gaggle of adoring sycophants. It was for the best, really.

“Are you going?” He heard himself ask, with a hint of pleading.

You looked up at him, your features schooled into polite neutrality, which he hated, “That’s why I asked you. I’m not sure yet. I was going to decide based on what your plans were.”

As soon as you answered, Regulus felt the knot in his chest loosen and a quiet sigh of relief slipped from his throat. It took him a second to process your answer but, when he did, his heart skipped a beat.

“You wanted to go…with me?” He asked, unsure.

In the dim light of the potions room, Reg couldn’t be sure, but he swore he saw color rise into your cheeks before you looked away, back into your cauldron.

“No. Well, yes, but not like-” you started, “Caroline wanted me to ask you anyway, but I figured that if you were going anyway we could meet up somewhere.”

Regulus fought the surge of giddiness that flooded his system out of nowhere, and smiled gently, “And if I wasn’t going?”

You shrugged with one shoulder, eyes focussed intently on the contents of your potion.

“I thought we could study. Or fly, or something.”

“Together?’

You sighed, definitely blushing now, and rolled your eyes to the ceiling, “Obviously, together, Black. Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked what you were doing. Nevermind it’s a stupid idea I’ll just-” you muttered, your voice fading into a disgruntled whisper he couldn’t pick up.

Regulus was trying hard not to let the swell of conflicting emotions in his chest register on his face. Were you asking him out? Was that what was happening here? Did he want that?

Okay, that was a ridiculous question, he’d been all yours from the very first moment, of course that’s what he wanted. But only secretly. Only in the deepest parts of himself that he kept buried and hidden away from anything that threatened to come in and empty him out. What he wanted and what he could bear to have had never been the same thing. Being with you, oh Merlin, really being with you, was so far out of his realm of reality that it made him dizzy just to consider it. It was just a fantasy. Just a fantasy.

But it could be real, couldn’t it? That’s what you were offering. Alright, you weren’t declaring your love or anything, but it was a start. A whole day together, just the two of you….what a concept.

Your cauldron was starting to smoke and, by Regulus’ calculations, you were three clockwise stirs over the upper limit. He glanced at the clock. There wasn’t long left and if you submitted what you had now, he knew there was no way Slughorn would give you a decent grade. He weighed up his options for a second, not wanting to seem pushy or patronizing, but was jarred into action as you lifted your pipet of bulbadox juice to add a second drop.

“No no no no, wait.” He leaned forward, his side pressed to yours as he gripped your hand to stop the movement.

You froze, staring up at him with giant eyes as he gently lowered your hand with the pipet, making sure nothing dripped into the potion.

“You’ve over stirred,” he explained gently, “if you add more juice it’s either going to curdle or explode.”

“Really? Shit, thanks for the save, Reg,” you answered with a breathless, slightly tense giggle, “reckon I can salvage it?”

“Of course, just add two flitterby wings and some crushed dragon horn and you should be good to go,” he explained, feeling his heart pound in his chest.

“Alright…” There was a long silence where neither of you moved before you nudged him with your knee and said, as gently as possible, “I’m going to need my hand back to make those changes, Reg.”

Ah.

He was still holding your hand. With his other arm practically wrapped around you. Using the back of your stool as support. Fuck. He pulled his hand back so fast the thought he might fall over, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Sorry.” he muttered, turning back to his own potion with his ears burning.

“It’s alright,” you responded, and he could hear the smile in your voice, “your hands are very…soft. Softer than I thought they’d be.”

His heart did that funny little stutter again and he shot back, teasingly “Spend a lot of time thinking about my hands then, Y/L/N?”

He quickly glanced your way, so you could see the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile and know he was joking, just in time to catch you shooting him another fond eye roll.

“Not as much time as Caroline Fawley has, I can promise you that,” you joked back.

“Jealous much?”

“Desperately, I’ve been eyeing up Caroline for months.”

Regulus threw his head back and let out a bark of laughter so loud that everyone in class, including Slughorn tore their eyes away from whatever they were doing and gave him a warning look. Regulus mouthed sorry to Professor Slughorn and turned back to his work, stifling his laughter as best he could. One quick glance your way told him you were doing the same, though the hand over your mouth and your silently shaking shoulders told him you were losing the fight.

“Look what you made me do,” he teased, “and after I helped you too…sad.”

“Aww, poor little Reggie,” you teased back, “how about this, to make it up to you, I’ll retract my offer to hang out this weekend, since I’m clearly such a nuisance to you, and go to Hogsmeade with Ollie Macmillan instead.”

Regulus gasped, recoiling in mock horror, “You wouldn’t!”

“Try me,” you responded, leaning in, “Unless, of course, you would rather I didn’t, for some reason.”

Suddenly it occurred to Regulus that you weren’t joking, which was new. You were giving him a choice. If he wanted, you’d go out with Macmillan and, knowing you, you'd never bring up the possibility of being anything more than friends again. You were certain like that. You never pushed. It was one of the reasons he’d started falling for you in the first place.

Regulus opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again when he realized that he didn’t actually have an answer. His heart was screaming at him to say that of course he didn’t want you to go out with that oaf, Macmillan, he wanted you to go out with him. He wanted you to talk to him and laugh with him and let him stare at your mouth until he had every twist and curve and movement memorized. Of course that’s what he wanted.

But, he was Regulus Black. He didn’t get things like this, things like you, that were good and pure and normal. He didn’t get to go on dates and banter with friends and plan a future with the only person who made him feel like a living person anymore. Did he? If he leant in and kissed you, wouldn’t he just be dooming you to heartbreak? Wasn’t he just dragging you down into his shadowy world?

There was a look in your eye that made him shiver, like you were looking right through him, into the confusion, and that it made you sad. You pressed your lips together and, with a second of hesitation, reached out to touch his hand, softly. So, so softly. You only ever touched him softly, like you knew. Like you’d always known that he was fragile, that he needed tenderness like a plant needs sunlight. How had you known? How did you always know?

“Regulus,” you said, barely louder than a whisper, but with an undercurrent of fierce sincerity, “I can’t change the way you think about yourself, I know that that’s up to you, but I want you to know, whatever it is you’re thinking, you’re wrong. This, us,” you squeezed his hand, grounding him, “even just the chance of it. It’s worth it. Or at least it is to me. That won’t change, but you need to meet me halfway here. It can’t just be me putting myself out on a ledge and hoping that someday you’ll trust me enough to come out to, we need to do it together.”

He shook his head reflexively, “You don’t know what you’re saying. You don’t know.”

“I know you,” you countered, “that’s all I need to know. That and whatever you decide to tell me.”

The bell rang and Regulus felt a bolt of panic at the thought of you packing up and heading off. Something told him that, if he let you leave without an answer, without some indication of where his head was, he’d lose you forever.

He squeezed your hand tight, locking your fingers together and said, “Don’t go out with Macmillan.”

It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough. He was going to lose you.

“Don’t go out with Macmillan,” he repeated, “spend the day with me. I don’t give a fuck about Hogsmeade, but I’ll go if you’ll go with me. Honestly, Y/N, I’ll do anything as long as you’ll do it with me.”

You pressed your lips together again, but this time Regulus could see the smile twinkling in your eyes as they watered, and he could feel the way your muscles relaxed, like you’d been bracing for an impact that never came. You were nervous. Oh my stars, you had been worried that he would reject you! The notion was so foolish that, for a moment, Regulus forgot to be scared.

“I would love that,” you answered, “really, Reg. I would love that.”

I love you, he thought to himself. But not yet. It was too soon, he knew that, but maybe one day. Maybe when he’d figured out how to tell you about that secret part of himself he’d kept buried for so long, maybe then he’d say it. Maybe, if he was lucky, you’d even say it back.

Now, wouldn’t that be something?

#jordsie #jordsie writes #harry potter #harry potter imagine #Marauders #marauders era #marauders imagine #wizarding world imagine #regulus black #regulus fluff #regulus headcanon #regulus x reader #regulus fanfiction #regulus black x reader #regulus x you #regulus black x you #regulus black imagine #y/n #regulus black x y/n #regulus

[maarwritesarchive]

Hey! I adore your writing. Could you maybe do a long William x reader imagine from Skam where they're best friends and he gets jealous when she hooks up with Chris?

Hi! I’m really glad you like it!Yes, of course. Thank you very much for requesting

#jordsie #request

[javerticade]

Hey! Can you do a moodboard for Bahorel x Jehan? Or HC for them?

I know I said moodboards, but I have so many thoughts about this ship that can’t be expressed through pictures, so here’s some Jehan/Bahorel headcanons!

• They met at a slam poetry night. Bahorel liked the intensity of Jehan’s words despite their soft voice. Jehan liked how Bahorel recited heartfelt poetry about his dog and how it contrasted with his gruff exterior.

• They love to go on outings together. Hiking, thrift shopping, and visiting animal shelters are some of their favorite things to do. They both decided to lay off on the animal shelter for a while, because every time they go, they come back with another pet, and their apartment really isn’t that big.

• Sometimes they just like to chill at home, watching GBBO or playing board games. A lot of the time, they enjoy each other’s company in silence with Bahorel trying out new recipes and Jehan writing or drawing.

• Speaking of recipes, Bahorel is an expert baker. He always makes Jehan beautifully decorated cakes with flowers and vines trailing all over them.

• One time someone repeatedly kept misgendering Jehan. Bahorel stood up and was ready to take the guy out, but Jehan waved him off and punched the guy in the face. That was the moment Bahorel realized he was in love.

• They share clothes all the time. Or more like Jehan combines Bahorel’s workout tees with their own leggings and Bahorel likes to wear Jehan’s scarves.

• As mentioned before, they have a lot of pets. 5 fish, 2 cats, 2 dogs, and a hamster to be exact. All of them are named after characters from John Hughes movies.

#les miserables #jehan x bahorel #headcanon #text #mine #asks #jordsie

[vivalamusaine]

I'm sorry for the random message but Paris by The Chainsmokers is about Enjoltaire and anyone who disagrees can fight me because oh my gosh my poor Les Mis infested heart.

Hey friend, no need to fight, I can totally see this!

Listening to the lyrics I can see a very angsty at first but then hopeful modern AU:

We were staying in ParisTo get away from your parentsYou look so proudStanding there with a frown and a cigarette

Just out of high school teenage Grantaire and Enjolras find themselves both out of home and emotionally lost. Enjolras, kicked out for standing up and coming out to his staunchly conservative parents. Grantaire, having run away from home for a desperate plea of attention from his neglectful parents, only to find them relieved to have him gone.

Both having nowhere else to go, they decide to find a place and weather through the storm together.

It’s rough at first, and tricky. Their high school fights evolving into more adult and painful arguments as they learn to live with each other. Neither of them have been taught how to take care of themselves. It’s rough and they’re constantly blaming each other.

If I could take this in a shot right nowI don’t think that we could work this out

But eventually they find a balance, and it comes with a night where they learn how to communicate with each other.

Enjolras finds Grantaire drunk and crying on their kitchen floor. He’s heartbroken to find him hurting himself. He takes him to his bed, and Grantaire tells him “My father was right, I am good for nothing. You’re going to do such great things and I’m nothing, and I keep fucking up. You should just kick me out right now.”

This sets a fire in Enjolras and he passionately tells him at great lengths how wrong that is, how strong he is, how much he believes in him. Finally, Enjolras tells him that if Grantaire is nothing than so is Enjolras, because they’re two sides of the same coin. He ends his speech by saying that giving up and accepting that he’s worthless (which he’s not) is letting his parents win, and together they were both going to prove their parents wrong by being someone and something.  

If we go down then we go down togetherWe’ll get away with everythingLet’s show them we are better

After a long time of just lying their and crying together, Grantaire has sobered up enough to start actually talking to Enjolras. They stay up until 4am relating to each others stories and bonding over their shared crappy experiences.

When the sun rises, the new day brings them hope, friendship, and a closeness they’ve never had with anybody else before. They feel like together they can burn their old world down and rebuild anew from the ashes. 

If we go down then we go down togetherThey’ll say you could do anythingThey’ll say that I was clever

This is the day Enjolras decides to start Les Amis. This is the day that Grantaire falls for Enjolras, hard. And although Grantaire doesn’t know it yet, Enjolras has fallen for him too.

#lmao can you believe i was trying to keep this thing short #enjoltaire #enjolras #grantaire #exr #shitty parents #modern au #angst #cw alcohol #cw self harm reference #sorta #not really but interpretation could be #prompt #ficlet #music prompt #jordsie

[j-brielmalfoy]

Theseus Scamander

《Moodboard》

@jordsie It's inspired by your story, before Theseus becomes an auror ♥️

#theseus scamander #aesthetic #harry potter #gryffindor #love #friendship #friends #theseus x reader #learning to love #@jordsie #moodboard

[inktaire]

Hey! Sorry to kinda barge in, but I just finished the Raven King and none of my friends have read it and I need to scream. (Also I'm really sorry about your mom, if you ever need a buddy to scream with, I've got time)

i am a SHAM bc i love the raven cycle but i’ve never finished it?? i got through 1/3 of the raven king and then college started back up and i got too busy to read it. so i haven’t finished the last book

BUT i will scream about the entire rest of the series with you!!?? just not the ending haha

also my mother i stg im so d o n e

#jordsie #i meant to send this privately and hit publish out of habit #oops

[just-french-me-up]

I'm sure you already know this but OH MY GOSH TALE AS OLD AS TIME FROM BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IS SO ENJOLTAIRE.

I WAS TOLD YEAH BUT JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT HAVE THE FRENCH VERSION:

(omg I managed to find the real old French version idk why the remade it afterwards omg) (the translation is a bit shit but that’s the price to pay I guess)

#answered #enjoltaire #jordsie