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the-ghost-bird · 6 months

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Rant over Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer:

Note: I wrote this while drunk months ago and my drunk self accidentally saved this as a draft instead of posting it. Against my better judgement, here's how bad I was obsessing over Annihilation, with the correction of the horrenous whiskey induced spelling mistakes. Spoilers ahead (obviously)

I was thinking back to the book, trying to figure out what about it hit me like a damn train, even after years and multiple rereads.

And i think part of it is just.... idk, there's something about the calmness of the biologist when she realizes she's contaminated from the spore inhalation. There's something about how she accepts it and the changes after it that just speaks to me. It's not a morbid acceptance, it doesn't come across as just her choosing to accept it for the saking of keeping her emotions in control. This acceptance of hers is less morbid and more like a... relief.

She just accepts it, and as she and nature merges, there's this feeling that Area X is not as dangerous to her as it is to everyone else because she's meant to be there. She is this reminder that nature and human are not separate, and we see it from the way she's always been so deeply connected to nature, more than anything else society could provide to her.

Her career choice isn't just an interest to her but an excuse to be connected to nature as much as she can, like a person who chooses to become a surgeon not because they want to help people but because it gives them an excuse to cut them open. I mean for fuck sakes, she kept getting removed from any research projects she would work on because she would just hyperfixate on the environment surrounding her and get lost instead of doing her actual job.

The biologist has always belonged to Area X. She's always felt like an entity that transcended humanity and connected to the lifecycles around her. That's why the husband highlights in his journal that he would've understood her better when he volunteered for the 11th expedition.

So when she inhales those spores, and remains calm, and accepts her changes all so easily, it gives the impression that now that feeling of hers, that feeling that she's meant to be in the remote, in the wild- all of that isn't a feeling anymore, it's physical, it's real, it's irreversible and you can't ignore it or brush it off or undermine it.

She transcends and becomes Area X, and it's what she always wanted, what she was always meant to become, what she's always been.

#ngl drunk me was projecting so hard onto the biologist #yes i soberly know the biologist was an unreliable narrator and the mentioned 'calmness' could have simply not been mentioned in her journa #yknow since the book itself is her journal #but fuck let a bitch be delusional and project a lil bit #annihilation #jeff vandermeer #southern reach #southern reach trilogy #L speaks

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daily-gaston · 5 days

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#c'est son anniversaire aujourd'hui hihi 86 ans #maintenant je me sens trop con de pas avoir percuté qui c'était genre vraiment ils le disent. mais je connaissais pas l'existence du journa #*journal #et j'avais genre 7 ans #gaston lagaffe #spirou et fantasio #daily gaston

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belovedapollo · 4 months

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starting the year with some journaling and setting up my weekly planner + answering some letters 📝 reblog is ok, don’t repost

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noenvyy · 8 months

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Yet another shameless WIP fanart plug for the fics

"All Men are the Same" by the awesome @mostlikelytofangirl and it's corresponding fic "A Good Man is Hard to Find" by yours truly. My last one was an angsty one so I really wanted to give this one a romcom vibe. Ah Nieyao you messy, messy pair. Can't get enough of em! Hope to have the finished piece out soon <3 Links to the fics can be found below.

"A Good Man is Hard to Find"

And the awesome original piece "All Men are the Same"

#meng yao #jin guangyao #mdzs #the untamed #nieyao #nieyao fanart #nie mingjue fanart #nie mingjue #nie mingjue art #meng yao fanart #meng yao art #jin guangyao fanart #jin guangyao art #mdzs fanfic #mdzs fanart #Nieyao my beloved #nonv #NoNV sketch journa'

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strangerskies-wfiles · 19 days

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Saw some bald eagles while kayaking.

#kayaking #eagles #journa #may 2023 #last year #kayak #artifact collecting

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iceespizza · 10 months

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i love journal 3 but it will forever make me mad that the page about bill that has all of the crossed out text is like mid way into the book rather than earlier

#gravity falls #ford pines #bill cipher #journa 3

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binaural-histolog · 4 months

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Don't know how I missed this one.

#hypnosis #journa

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avocado-frog · 7 months

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how am i supposed to live laugh love under these conditions

tldr for tags my mom found an old journal of mine and read through it so i accidentally outed myself to her lols

#might be a vent in the tags jsyk #but brooo i had this journal when i was 14-15 and my MOTHER read it today because she Could (tm)#the journal in question was in a box in the storage unit that clearly had my name on it so she chose to open it and read through the journa #right so the journal in question had the name isaac on it and i am not out to her #i guess i fuckin am NOW???#but she hasnt said anything ab that. she def saw it tho. RIGHT on the cover #but no her focus was that i wrote that i. didnt particularly care for her when she lived with her boyfriend which is a WHOLE can of worms #but tdlr on him he kicked my brother and i out bc my brother used his phone past his bedtime. we were 13 and 11 #and he fought with my mom + 11 yr old brother every night for like four years. which sucked a lil tbh #i dont know what she EXPECTED it to say #gonna be real im a little mad #because like girlllllllll you chose to open that box and then open that book and like that's mineeeee you cant just do that shit :(#i dont have to deal with it for two more days. am at my dad's house #i am fixing it with the power of ✨white out✨#WHICH I SHOULDNT HAVE TO DO. IT'S LITERALLY MINE #if i keep thinking about this im going to explode #vent #???#i think #ok update like an hour later. i read a little bit of the journal that she read and uhh SHIT.#girlie i wrote all THAT and you're upset because i wrote that i dont like your boyfriend??? okay

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elarasolaris · 6 months

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[REEL] Grilled Cheese : 12 FREE Thanksgiving Recipe Bundle | TalesOfMyLife Digital Cookbook - Elara Solaris

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m-ir-a-nd-a · 1 year

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A morning for reflecting, and an evening for celebration.

#moodboard #mood board #spilled thoughts #thoughts #warm aesthetic #aesthetic #journal inspo #journa aesthetic #writer #cocktails #drinks #new years eve #new year #neutral tones #not my photo

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weight-loss0fast · 1 year

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Hey, Family! I struggled to lose weight for many years until I found this amazing NEW way to lose weight fast, safe, and easy. Here is some info to help you lose weight fast! Here is a FREE PDF for you GOOD LUCK! You got this! Enjoy the new you!

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comicsiswild · 2 years

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Punisher War Journal: Blitz (2022)

#punisher war journal blitz #punisher war journa #punisher #marvel #marvel comics

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tyrantmade · 1 year

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💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

REDFIELD sent 💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

Whew Boy, Wesker is a very caged off individual. He has a few habits, that take awhile to get used to. But if we are being frank, some never can get used to them. People just assume the worse of him, and don't give him any wiggle room. But that isn't fair, because he was made this way. He was brainwashed, Abused mentally, and verbally, and trained against his will. All of this happened for over the course of 10 years. He was only 9 when he was brought into Oswald, and was finally give his own, '' freedom '' at 19. If you wanna call it freedom anyhow. But here are his Habits that take, time, if you can get used to them anyhow.

BEING IN CONTROL - He has to be in control of EVERYTHING! And I do mean everything, even down to the smallest thing like which side of the bed he sleeps on. Or, where he will go to eat, and what side of the table he sits on. Again, this stems from the torment he endured at the hands of Oswald E. Spencer. Wanting to be in control, gives him the feeling of having things his way. Like he can now control the outcome, if he is denied this, he will become a raging nightmare. And he will become a Monster, raging, abusing, and screaming, name calling, any toxic trait you can think of. Cause it is all he knows, it was all he was shown and taught.

NOT ALLOWING TOUCHING - For awhile, if someone touches him, he will stop you. And treat you as if you have done something horrendous to him. If you want to touch him, you have to be someone he deems imporant to him. And that role is not easy to get for yourself. He hates everyone, hates the world and would rather see many of man kind dead then give them the time of day.

TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF AND WHAT HE BELIEVES IN - This one drives a lot of people crazy, and they like to poke fun at him and make jokes. Treating him like a lunatic. But he does this, because he feels empowered when he does it. He needs to let others know his thoughts and the accomplishments that he has achieved. And more importantly will achieve.

GOD COMPLEX - This one is the biggest of his habits and his mental illness, it stems off how he wants to feel human compact, feel loved and recognized. He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which is the right term for having a God Complex. He will manipulate, gaslight you, make himself seem like the victim. He needs to know he has hurt you, and that you realize that he is Superior to you. Years of Toxic and Negative treatment has created this part of him. Underneath it all, it is why He believes he has the right to be a God. He has reached a place where all the torment is catching up to him, and his murdering Spencer was the start of it all.

There is his soul crushing panic attacks or mental breakdowns he has, but those no one ever sees, because he will never allow anyone to do so. He will never allow anyone to think him weak, or fragile. Even thought, he does want someone to love him, wants someone to be there , when he comes home from work. To love, but he doesn't know how to love. He was never taught what love was, or how to love someone. He was only ever taught to hate, or to destroy. There are more, but I can't think of them all right now.

#| ANSWERED ASKS | ◆ ☰ THE MUSE #| HEADCANON | ◆ ☰ WESKER'S JOURNA;#xselfrighteous

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thesacredtribeboutique · 2 years

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