Last night was long and bittersweet. One of our goats had triplets. Unfortunately, one was not born alive and a second baby is super tiny (under a pound). While I spent the night awake, doing hourly feedings and running a little baby goat nicu, I was thinking how bazaar and illogical life can be. Of the three babes, the deceased one was significantly larger and by all appearances healthier than this little fella and yet here he is, fighting the good fight. It made me think of the many, many, many times I've looked around, felt inadequate, and thought probably every one else was more qualified than myself. Yet, here I am and it's me, not you. You can say the same, and ought to. Against whatever odds, or logic you think you understand, you are here and that is worth the effort because there are other souls who did not get the privilege.
Daily journaling is therapeutic. It is proven to be one of the tools used by psychologists and therapists across the globe. Each person has a unique style and way of journalling based upon his/her need in the current scenario in life. A student may need a more structured way of journaling while a writer or an artist may have a completely different approach. An individual going through specific…
CW: testosterone therapy, periods, physical changes from HRT
Earlier this year, I'd reached a point where I was wondering if I'd already seen all of the benefits and changes from testosterone therapy that I could possibly receive. It really seemed like everything had come to a halt as far as changes from HRT go.
Worse, what started as random spotting and painful cramping (which I originally blamed on really high stress) eventually became full blown periods, and this went on for months. At one point, it really felt like I wasn't even on T anymore. I blamed myself, because I would occasionally be late or forget to apply my testosterone cream. I thought that the bleeding, the inconsistent T levels, and the lack of progress was my own fault.
And then, I had to switch compounding pharmacies. And every single one of my problems disappeared within two weeks of starting the first tube of cream from the new pharmacy.
Nothing else has changed. Not my dose, nor where I apply it. I still forget and apply a few hours late sometimes, other times I miss a day entirely.
But the periods and cramping haven't returned. And I'm beginning to see small changes here and there again. I have to trim my ear and nose hairs now; I have more chest hair than ever before. It's time to face the fact that testosterone has made me a bear lmao.
Point being, looking back I really think that the quality of the testosterone cream I was getting from that first compounding pharmacy was kind of suspect. Looking at reviews online from other people really confirmed my suspicion; many people claimed that the quality of the prescriptions they received was wildly inconsistent from month to month. Not to mention, more recent reviews seem to suggest that their business is going under entirely, and from my own experiences attempting (and failing) to get my prescriptions filled with them in a timely manner, I'm not surprised.
I don't often see a lot of posts from trans folks on testosterone who use compounded cream, so I want to put this out there for others to see. If you're struggling to maintain consistent T levels, don't rule out the quality of your prescription as a possible cause. Make sure that the compounding pharmacy you're getting your T from is reputable and has good reviews.
Journal prompts for making you think deeper about love
Reflect on your earliest memories of feeling love. How have these experiences shaped your understanding of love?
Describe the different ways you express love to yourself. How do you prioritize self-love and self-care in your life?
Think about the people you love the most. What is it about them that makes you feel such deep affection?
Write about a time when you felt truly loved and appreciated by someone else. What made that experience special?
Consider the love languages (words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch). Which love languages resonate most with you, and how do you express them?
Reflect on any past experiences of heartbreak or betrayal. How have these experiences impacted your ability to trust and love again?
Write about the qualities you admire in others that make you love them. How do these qualities reflect your own values and beliefs?
Explore the concept of unconditional love. Do you believe it's possible? If so, how do you practice it in your relationships?
Write a letter to someone you love deeply, expressing your gratitude and appreciation for their presence in your life.
Consider the role of forgiveness in love. Reflect on a time when you forgave someone or were forgiven. How did it affect your relationship?
Reflect on any cultural or societal influences on your understanding of love. How do these influences align or conflict with your personal beliefs?
Write about a moment when you felt vulnerable in expressing your love. What did you learn from that experience?
Explore the connection between love and empathy. How does empathy enhance your ability to love and connect with others?
Write about a time when you had to make sacrifices for someone you love. How did those sacrifices impact your relationship?
Reflect on the ways in which you show love to those who may not reciprocate it. How do you navigate unrequited love?
Consider the role of patience in love. How do you practice patience in your relationships, especially during challenging times?
Write about the importance of boundaries in love. How do you establish and communicate your boundaries in relationships?
Explore the concept of selflessness in love. How do you balance giving to others with taking care of yourself?
Reflect on any patterns or habits in your approach to love that you'd like to change or improve.
Write about the influence of past traumas on your ability to love and be loved. How have you worked through these challenges?
Consider the difference between romantic love and platonic love. How do you navigate and honor both types of relationships in your life?
Reflect on the impact of social media and technology on modern expressions of love. How do you maintain authenticity and intimacy in a digital age?
Write about a time when you experienced love in unexpected or unconventional ways. What did that experience teach you?
Explore the connection between self-awareness and love. How does knowing yourself deeply enhance your ability to love others?
Reflect on any fears or insecurities that may be barriers to experiencing love fully. How do you work through these challenges?
Write about a moment when you felt deeply connected to someone without needing to use words. What did that connection feel like?
Consider the concept of love as a journey rather than a destination. How do you embrace the process of growth and evolution in your relationships?
Reflect on the role of gratitude in love. How do you cultivate gratitude for the people you love and the experiences you share?
Write about your dreams and aspirations for love in the future. How do you envision your ideal relationships?
Imagine yourself as a beacon of love and kindness. How can you spread love to yourself and others in your daily life?