notebooks + journals that I’m currently using 💫

𝑺𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒂𝒚,23𝒓𝒅 𝒐𝒄𝒕• happy 3years to mono! my most beloved album, I can't believe it's been 3 years as I joined this fandom on the same time so it's safe to say I grew with it. I think it's the first thing to have my attention this long, I still pretty much listen to these tracks on regular basis and I cannot describe the amount of comfort this has given me.

🎧: 𝑴𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅_𝒓𝒎

words from cimmerian shade by sufjan stevens !

i am now selling digital download prints of this and my other recent works over on my etsy! link is here:

link to etsy prints

instagram

Discover and identity the various opposing parts within your own psyche; all the conflicts, contradictions, disagreements, polarities...and then moderate a respectful and empathetic dialogue between them. Write that very dialogue down and see if you can learn something actually important about yourself and through that very knowledge become more of a complete, integrated, individualized and harmonious human being.

Figure out which side is most rational, most empirical, most logical, most moral, most soulful, most beautiful, most original, etc.

October Week 1 | Halloween theme

Crystals are the superior paperweight, that and my bujo is getting too thick for clips. I was kind of in a rut for a fews weeks and am only getting out of it now, but it’s okay to take a break from what you’re working towards for a while! Rome wasn’t built in a day.

got sirred with my tits out at the grocery store tonight, lads

On the Topic of Change

I just learned today that I am pregnant.

My husband and I got married on July 30, and I took my last birth control pill on August 4 because we knew we wanted to start our family quickly. Less than 3 months later, here we are. I am so nervous that I could puke.

For the past year or so, I've been really digesting the quote, "if you wait until you're ready, you'll be waiting forever." I don't remember where I first read/heard that, but it stuck with me.

Yesterday (10/20), I woke up with a very bad sore throat and headache, so I called out of work. Within 30 minutes (while my wonderful husband was making me pancakes with Reese's pieces), I suddenly became more nauseous than I have been in as long as I can remember. It passed within 5 minutes or so, but all day I was extremely fatigued.

This morning, I woke up feeling like someone ran my head over with a bus. I was incredibly congested and it felt like I had a migraine. No nausea, but after yesterday, I decided I should probably take a test.

I used a pregnancy test strip from the brand Pregmate, but the second line was so unbelievably faint that I truly thought I was making it up. My husband said that he saw it too, though, so I decided to take a digital test after I got to work (I couldn't take off 2 days in a row with no PTO available).

I brought a digital test with me to work, but I didn't read the directions, so I did it wrong and the test was invalid. I had to wait until my lunch break to make a quick trip to Walgreens to purchase a new one. I got back to work, peed on the stick, and 3 minutes later: "PREGNANT."

How am I supposed to keep this to myself for up to 10 weeks? By my calculations, I'm about 2 weeks pregnant right now. I am so terrified that the unthinkable is going to happen that I can barely control my trembling. My new biggest fear is that I will get so attached to the idea of this life growing inside of me, and I will lose it before it ever has the opportunity to breathe air. Is that morbid, or is that normal?

What does pregnancy and birth look like during a pandemic? Am I going to remain this panicky and anxious the whole time? Am I going to feel this lousy the whole time? Will I get my energy back? Am I going to feel this not-hungry for long? Will my pets be good with the baby? Is it going to be a boy or a girl? What will they look like? How will I feel? Will I have PPD? How does maternity leave work? How much of the doctors bills will our insurance cover? How will we pay our bills when I am unable to work? What do we do for childcare once I have to go back to work? Will I be able to give my pets the attention they deserve while also being a human mom?

"If you wait until you're ready, you'll be waiting forever."

I just have to keep reminding myself:

We are in a good place. I am in a good place. We can do this.

I can do this.

Messy notes ft. my post-it version of the Lascaux Cave pit scene painting.

23|10|2021

48/100 days of productivity

Today I:

Read as the first thing in the morning (currently reading The Midnight Library by Matt Haig, yes I finally convinced myself of picking it up)

Continued reading and highlighing the notes I wrote down for my prehistiry class

Continued working on the November spreads on my bullet journal (I am really in love with how they are turning out, and it's been really therapeuthic to work on a creative task as such)

Continued listening to the audiobook of the Necronomicon by H.P. Lovecraft.

Started to read and annotate Costituzione by M. Fioravanti (it's a book I have to study for a class on political institutions, I couldn't be less thrilled, but I have to do it so here I am)

Autumn studying challenge // 23rd October - Walk in the woods or read a book in front of the fire?

How am I supposed to pick between two of my favourite things in the world? Letteraly all I do and talk about is walking in the woods and sitting around reading books. I cannot pick one.

🎵: My Way by PVRIS

Incantation

Miss you

© Shannon

a little reminder from me 🌼

“i don’t like writing about my day, but i want to keep a journal”:

quotes and copywork. when reading, if you find something you enjoy, just copy it into the notebook. you can copy a whole chapter if you wish, highlighting what caught your attention the most.

definitions. look up on a dictionary and copy it. you could write your own dictionary as well, making up definitions for words.

lists. a classic, write movies to watch, books to read, the playlist of the month or just the groceries you have to buy.

maps. when going somewhere, you could draw the route you took or just a map of the place itself. just look up the place on google maps and copy it. you can draw a little map of all the places you have lived or the schools you have attended as well.

photos

take “notes” as you watch movies / documentaries. write down phrases that caught your attention or doodle.

illustrations and clippings. if you see an image or piece of art that you liked, put it in your journal. if it’s from a book or from a magazine I would recommend scanning it, tho’. it will serve as a record of what kind of art you enjoy through the years.

newspaper clippings from the day.

tickets and pamphlets. from movies, museums, transportation.

postcards

records. you could record for a month what the temperature was when you woke up and when you went to sleep. if you do that for a year, it gives you a better notion of the passing of seasons. you could record rainfall and other seasonal changes as well. you could choose something (an animal, a plant, an item or object) and write down every time you see it.

rubbings of leaves, coins, landmarks.

count. there’s a scene in the movie Coraline (2009) where Coraline’s dad tells her to go count the windows. you could do the same type of counting game if you are bored and write down.

mindmaps/sketchnotes + timelines of books, movies, music albums.

collages

pressed leafs and flowers

your collections. if you collect anything you could write down an inventory or maybe try to draw the items.

recipes. write down recipes and give it a score every time you try it. you could do the same for drinks you try out.

stickers

comic strips. you can find a bunch of it online, glue your favorites in your notebook.

reassurance

take each day as it comes

instagram

courtney love prays to oregon - clementine von radics

— Joan Didion, “On Keeping A Notebook” (1966), Slouching Towards Bethlehem

reviewsium Sunday evening updates: watching gilmore girls, journaling, writing and placing my bookmail for September. I do miss reading and writing reviews.

Resting before another busy week ahead; what about you?

Pansy, night landscapes.