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#journalpost
naiadic · 9 months
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Sometimes I settle into my bed at night and look up at the ceiling and i just...smile...like..this is life. I'm living. Im resting. I had a day full of Life and god damn it tomorrow is another one and right now the window is open and it smells like summer and the dryer is running and my legs are freshly shaved and I'm Alive I'm Alive I'm Alive I'm Alive I'm Alive
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aserendipityseason · 1 year
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13/12/2022
the dry mouth i’m getting from this diet is bothering me more than the feeling hungry part. it’s such a strange texture in my mouth. i know it’s a typical reaction but damn is it the most unusual sensation. maybe it’s something that needs to happen so it reminds me of the process. you know, that process of feeling hungry all the time, all the sugar cravings, the carb cravings, then feeling tired, tired to your bones, but you can’t sleep because you get restless because your body thinks you’re still hungry, but you’re not hungry, you know you’re not because noone needs to eat a whole garlic bread on their own, or a packet of timtams, or down a cake... 
it’s the process of training your body to crave things that are good for it, it’s the process of understand what discipline is, and remembering that there’s a difference between treating yourself and emotional eating, but the process always ends in your stomach getting smaller and suddenly you’re not so hungry, suddenly you’re not so tired, suddenly you start feeling in control and suddenly your hormones level out and you’re able to sleep regularly and better
but you just have to get through those first few weeks, it’s a process of getting your shit together; figuring out all the hard stuff happens at the start, all the work of changing your mindset and habits, is hard because you’re changing everything you’ve known and that all happens at the start and i think maybe that’s why the start is always the hardest part
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meadnbookpiles · 2 years
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11th of the Phoenix, 1335 AE
There was nothing there.
Nothing of substance to be garnered from Eul’s evasive pleasantries, nothing to be learned by anything else at present, and most certainly - nothing on the balcony, despite Jia seeming so sure that something would be. We’re back to grasping at straws, and quite frankly, this feels like we have less to go off on that what we’ve left Tyria with.
The pieces... they don’t mesh together at all, why would the old man not want our support? Aunt Kef did illustrate that he was... reclusive, at best, and that his reply to her offer was a mere polite acknowledgement - and yet, should one truly reject a source of aid so readily offered? Especially when the lives of his Household and family members are quite apparently on the line?
It’s unsettling to consider, infuriating, really, as if something is right there, impossibly dodging out of the corner of your eye, a small mental nudge away from a fully fledged conclusion. 
I suppose we may depart to Shing Jea next? Jia’s badgering did manage to secure a vouch that we’ll be permitted to research the family Estates. There was supposed to be an Uptown apartment in Kaineng, as well as a Vacation Home by the Jade Sea... how wonderfully bizarre penning these names here, as destinations I may soon visit.
It’s a pity Drae was as tied down with his work as ever, getting through impossible stubbornness was ever his gift... we might have surfaced from our encounter with different results then, not defeated - victorious! 
Well, maybe.
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sednominituo · 2 years
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mannnnn i love churches with steeples. driving back from my brother’s graduation spotting them from the highway like yeah!! hi!! glory to God in the highest!! can’t stop but peace be with y’all!! idk i just think they’re neat :)
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kamil-a · 1 month
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also sometimes when you feel bad you need to ask yourself if its a theory of mind problem and then when you realize that yes person A wont realize the marble is in the blue box because they went out of the room when it was put there just because YOU saw it you can go ohhhhhh okay okay phew okay. the actions thoughts and beliefs of myself and others around me do not fuction as grouped layers in the art program of life
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modern-alebrije · 8 months
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when i worked at the campus galleries in college we had to lock up the gallery if we needed to use the restroom bc it was only one attendant per gallery.
one day it'd been unusually busy and i hadn't had a chance to use the restroom so when there was finally no visitors i immediately took the opportunity to Go. as i was locking the gallery doors these two ladies walked up and asked if we were open. i said that we were but that i was just stepping out real quick to use the restroom, and that i'd be back in less than five minutes. one of them protested and asked why i couldn't just let them in, i told her that i couldn't leave visitors unattended in the gallery, and reassured her that i wouldn't be long. she huffed and puffed and i went to go do my thing. the restrooms were literally just outside of the gallery and i just had to pee so i was back after not even three minutes. i unlocked the doors, thanked them for waiting and let them in.
BUT! and this is the part that always comes back to me:
on their way out, the woman who'd gotten upset came up to me and apologized for how she'd behaved earlier. she explained that she'd been at the dentist earlier and couldn't eat until later so she was hungry and her mouth was uncomfortable, and she said that even so that was not an excuse for how she talked to me earlier especially because i hadn't done anything wrong, really. and in all my years working with The Public i had never had a Customer apologize to me for being shitty, and admitting out loud that her shitty day didn't justify being shitty to me.
and i think that's what being a good person is about. it's not about never hurting others or being unreasonable, and it's not always doing The Right Thing, because i think being a shitty person is just part of being A Person. instead, it's about having enough consciousness, or perspective, to know when you're lashing out for unrelated reasons and being able to say, out loud, "sorry about that, that had nothing to do with you"
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luuckywarlockk · 3 months
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I have an extreme hatred of my dreams.
I try very hard to keep my thoughts in order. It's important that the volatile and unhealthy ones are quickly dealt with so that I avoid allowing them to cascade into worse patterns. While I am mostly getting very good at keeping my emotions in line, dreams throw a wrench into that problem by continually choosing the pepper by brain with bullshit I have already handled, bringing up people and events that incite those unhealthy and volatile. They never seem to give me happy images, only horror and reminders of things that used to be happy but long since soured. It makes my dreams feel less like an unconscious expression of my mind and more like a malicious attack.
The worst part is I can't tell how insane what I just wrote is honestly.
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unleashedsonic · 2 months
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taking a nap but here. to start my journalposting tag
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wizardyke · 3 months
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temu is literally the temptation from the devil
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amymethvenart · 1 year
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May as well make it official.  It's over @deviantart Here is my last journal for the site.  https://www.deviantart.com/mad--munchkin/journal/No-Longer-Using-Deviant-Art-938205121
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skunkes · 1 year
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wondering if i shld make a sideblog for my journaling + journaling posts...? i keep wanting to archive stuff here (like, on tumblr in general bc i like blogging and tagging and posting) for cheye purposes but i dont wanna bother anyone
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naiadic · 9 months
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i smell like mint chocolate (the scent they use in lip balm and lotions) and everything is good
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aserendipityseason · 1 year
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no buy (low buy) 2023
january edit
👉🏻 refrain from buying new clothing i have a lot of clothes, too many maybe and most i don’t even wear so i want to do a complete revamp of my wordrobe and sell a few of my clothing pieces and invest in pieces i will actually wear and that will last decades (i’m going to try buy second-hand)
👉🏻 no new perfumes unless i have finished a perfume from my ‘finish list’; flowerbomb, valentina, mon guerlain, and le parfume i love perfume and i don’t want to give up something that brings me so much joy and so this is the compromise and i also want to sell a few fragrances that i am not completely in-love with because i have close to 100... and i know i don’t need that many because i don’t use that many
👉🏻 skincare and beauty product categories are to be finished before repurchasing; if i’ve finished a cleanser and i still have a bottle somewhere, then that has to be used and finished before repurchasing anything, this applies to makeup too
👉🏻 no throwing away products just to buy something new! if i’d rather trash something than finish it, then i don’t really need that in my life (for example, if a shade of blush doesn’t suit me and i get rid of it then i can’t buy a new blush until then end of the month; this stops impulse buying and promotes try-before-you-buy and in turn more overall mindfulness to consuming products also will spark creativity)
👉🏻 focus on refining and perfect my routines i want to focus more on sticking to what i know and i want to be all quality not quantity (do i really need a ten-step skincare routine? or a bunch of hair serums? big no to both)
👉🏻 cannot buy anything on credit, on loans, no favours, no borrowing, no payment plans, no golden handshakes; if i can’t buy it out right on my own with my own money then it is not meant to be
👉🏻 take-out no buying food unless we’re actually leaving the house to go eat out; i still want to go on date nights with my boyfriend and not say no to dinner with friends
👉🏻 cash only this just makes keeping to a budget easier and will hopefully help me be more mindful and frugal  
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anesidorahere · 23 days
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Today was the first time it sank in that I can stop trying so hard on a few things, because when I stop forcing them as hard and "fall back" to my "natural" state... what comes naturally is what I wanted in the first place
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sednominituo · 2 years
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*through gritted teeth, at increasing volume and with increasing desperation* the joy of the Lord is my strength,
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beatsboy · 11 months
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looking up the reviews for an episode of a show you really like to find out if it was actually bad or if you’re just depressed
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