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sin-sidejob · 1 year

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Inside Job — New Years

warnings: NSFW, minors DNI, 18+, mentions of sex, allusions to sex, heavy petting, makeout, mentions of alcohol and food, limited consumption of alcohol and or food, genderless reader, gender-neutral pronouns and pet names, mentions of family.

contents: pretty mild considering my other work but tagged adult for safety. cute kissing and making out with your faves, their new or old holiday traditions, mentions of food and drinks and holiday fun. Happy New Year drama free and fillied with fun. Hope y'all enjoy!

a/n: Happy New Years!! From me and the shadow board to you all!! 💖

Brett Hand

the two of you manage to tuck into the corner of the bar you were celebrating in, Brett wanting to join in on the tradition you had with your friends of celebrating out on the town for New Year's and having fun with the family you've found and enjoying the moments and the hijinks that nearly always tend to ensue.

Brett, for some reason, keeps thinking that your friends don't like him when they've threatened you with either stealing him away should you ever hurt him or break his heart or just outright trading you out for Brett. You can't say you're upset, you'd say the same thing. You love this man.

"Thank you for letting me come along!" He exclaims over the music and the noise, bringing you a refill from the bar of the drink you had, making sure to take your drinks and cover them whenever you stepped away or had to use the restroom, taking a sip to assure you they were safe even though you trusted him with your life and told him so, constantly, "I'm having a lot of fun, your friends are kinda' great."

"Funny, they're saying the same about you honey," you murmur in his ear, taking the opportunity to talk low and drape yourself across him like velvet in the cadence of the atmosphere, "telling me everything I already know about, like how wonderful you are, how charming and sweet you can be. How handsome and smart you are," you carry on, littering kisses on the underside of his jaw, uncaring for anyone who manages to see.

"My Brett."

"Your Brett?" he laughs, hesitant and a little nervous, surprised at how affected he is by that statement on your lips. He feels you nod against him as you drape the hand holding your drink over his shoulder while you press your forehead against his neck. "Mhm, they keep threatin' to replace me with you should I treat you wrong."

"Really?"

You nod in response against him, not noting the awe and surprise in his tone and how taken aback he is, always forgetting how your boy is so easily swayed by himself into thinking he's lesser when in reality, he's everything and more. The countdown begins, and quickly you're joined by your friends all gathering around to yell along with the ball drop and for the new year to begin, meanwhile you can't be bothered and have been unable to look away from Brett since the moment you laid eyes on him this morning in bed.

"Absolutely. Wanna' show off and be my kiss at midnight?" and Brett nods enthusiastically in response, taking the drink from your hand and downing it on one, very frat-like, go and bringing you back close to tell you how much he loves you between the both of you. He kisses you into the New Year and manages to do it for the rest of them, and they always feel just the same. Otherworldly.

JR Scheimpough

you celebrate New Year's at a party the two of you were invited to, dressing to the nine's and going out to dinner beforehand at some restaurant that was probably already booked out for weeks, if not months, and yet getting let in with ease from barely any effort from JR. Show off. After dinner, the two of you take a ride and head up to the party from the invitation, a top-floor party at some politician or CEO's place, a big band in full swing with an open bar. It's a black-tie event and you're glad you planned accordingly because you still both look more expensive than the rest do altogether. The two of you manage to sneak a few messy kisses in the elevator before you arrived on the floor, being able to fix his hair after nearly ruining it just before the doors open. If it's noticeable that he's flushed and his lips are puffy, no one comments on it.

after the usual schmoozing and small talk, the both of you sneak away to a balcony overlooking the D.C. spread, wind merciful and not being as cold as it could be in the night. JR comes back after refilling your drink to find you draped over the balcony and admiring the view before he joins you, commenting something coy in your ear and getting you to giggle before he hands you your drink and you both cheer, something murmured about great company and another year down, another to go as you clink your glasses together and drink in celebration.

After sipping away at the sparkling drink within the crystal flutes, he sets them both aside so he can take you in his arms and hold onto you while swaying to the music playing from indoors, Life Is but a Dream by The Harptones crooning low as you get swept up into JR's strong, steady arms and get spun out then brought back to his chest, your arms sidling around his neck as you play with the short hairs at the nape.

The song slows to something more melodious and lilting, Chopin if you had to guess, and listen to the countdown begin. He keeps you calm and grounded as the cheering picks up in volume, a large hand encompassing your hip locking you in the moment and not letting you get swept up away in the current of it all.

You get to soak up the moment with him, feel strong arms wrap around your waist as he makes you forget everyone else around you both, the countdown from the next room, and the fireworks nearly a city away firing off in the distance. All you can feel is him and his touch, the brush of his nose against your pulse as he hums the notes of songs that play softly against your skin, inhaling your perfumed scent as you sway chest to chest, wholly enveloped with each other rather than anyone else. You start the new year off right, with each other, and it's better than any other year you've had already.

Your gloved hand grasps his chin and lifts his head up to hover near yours, watching his eyes blink open and lid half-shut, peering down at you with a concoction of adoration and lust pooling in dark eyes. Counting down, you murmur the digits in the space between you both, telling him happy new year just before you kiss him and the new year begins, the old one still close by as you let him make you forget about it all.

He’s your New Year's kiss and every resolution you could make.

Alpha Beta Robotus

It's his first New Year beyond being locked up in the basement or left in tube-based solitary confinement. With that in mind and you making sure you take him home with you, not letting anyone have the mere idea of stopping you and your plan for the midnight countdown, you've set yourself on a mission to start the new year with him. And you intend on making it a good one.

"You've got mistletoe?" Alpha Beta stares quizzically up at the plant you've managed to hang high on your ceiling above the doorway to your kitchen between the hallway where you both now stand, "Isn't that a little excessive?"

"Only if you suddenly have lost interest and are letting me know that I've now got to find someone else to supply my kisses up to the New Year." You shoot back, looking up at him with a shit-eating grin he is tempted to kiss off, now that you've mentioned it, standing in your fuzzy socks upon the hardwood waiting for the sitcom-loving robotic bastard to just kiss you already.

While you're contemplating on whether to tug him in by the lapels or by his hair, Alpha Beta leans down and cups your cheek before kissing you tenderly, softly, with all the grace and poise of a noir heartthrob in one of those films you see off the classic movie channel. "No, I don't think I've lost any interest."

"That's sweet and all, but I'm afraid you'll just have to remind me, thoroughly." you murmur, eyes darting between his and then back down to his mouth, returning to glance up into glacier eyes just before he tugs you closer with a strong arm around your waist as he presses his lips to yours once more. He's picked up humming as he kisses you, another trait he's mirrored and adopted over time, and it feels better knowing that Alpha Beta's kissed you so many times he can't help but mirror it back to you.

By the time the countdown nears, he's got you spread and sidled on his lap, thighs encasing his as his fingers slide beneath the waistband of your pants and over your underwear, teasing you in strokes that match the tempo of the countdown and leave you keening against him impatiently. He tuts and chides at the show you're putting on and just as the countdown ends and the new year begins, you tug him into a kiss by his hair and he groans low, jaw clicking mechanically as his eyes glow a fraction before shutting.

Alpha Beta's hand finally begins to play with you properly and by the time you breach for air, you're dazed and beaming, already looking fucked out as you keep him close by his half-undone tie and grin.

"Happy New Year, AB, now fuck me until I forget it."

Gigi Thompson

She doesn't get a lot of solid downtime to spend with friends or family, so when she gets to enjoy herself and hang out with her loved ones, she goes all out. Gigi spent the holidays at home with you but convinced you to join along with her trip down to Georgia to see her family for New Year's, claiming that you're family to her the same as they are.

After a flight that took no time at all, spending it eating snacks and watching comedy specials, you manage to get to her parent's house in no time. The visit isn't as daunting as it could be, you having made the basic introductions and impressions at her family reunion last summer, already knowing her parents well enough to help out with cooking or setting up rather than just being left to stand around as a guest. You get the family treatment and damn if it doesn't make you a little teary-eyed.

"And you didn't think that they liked you," Gigi comments after prep is all set up and done, the two of you out on the back porch drinking tea and enjoying weather that's at least slightly warmer than D.C. "I can't help it, I'm always going to try and make a good impression, no matter how long I'll know them for."

Gigi laughs and gives you a pitying pat on the knee which you playfully swat away before she sips at her iced tea. "Can't be that bad, and besides, it's New Year's Day that's the eventful time. Eve just means drinking and talkin' shit before the rest pile on in tomorrow. That's when the real shit starts."

"Noted," you murmur into your glass before seeing the soft light of the house behind you both reflect on her face and how the night air makes her just glow. Her parents mention the countdown starting from inside but leave you both to your own devices. You take her hand in yours and squeeze gently, her matching it and then counting down between grasps of each other's palms as the countdown gets closer and closer to midnight.

Setting your drinks aside, you brush her hair back behind her ear and cup her cheek, careful not to muss her makeup if you can help it. "Love you, Gigi," you murmur, enjoying how her eyes don't hide the emotion in them, seeing her reciprocate in look before words. "Love you too, baby," she shoots back, lips in a blushy grin. You hear the final numbers said aloud and hear her parents celebrate from inside, maybe even a bottle popping, but you only focus on the woman before you as you pull her close and kiss her over and over again, starting a New Year tradition you'd like to continue to the rest of y'all's days. You do.

Reagan Ridley

With everything going on in her life, the last thing she needed was some unnecessary party that she'd have to get all dressed up for, fake some smiles, and give some unwilling hugs, all the while wanting to be curled up at home with you. And that's what she proposes and does. You have a lazy day, not even bothering to change out of pajamas until necessary, and even then you both change into clean sweats and old sweatshirts or tees. It's much needed, a lazy holiday, especially just being able to talk about everything and nothing while being sprawled across the couch or your bed and enjoying one another.

She's got movies selected and queued for the whole day, a mix of your collected favorites and some new ones the two of you had been meaning to watch but hadn't had the time to until today. Snack breaks come regularly, absolutely enjoying yourself while gorging down chips and popcorn and your favorite snacks while you've got Reagan's legs in your lap and toss bits of candy or popcorn into her mouth.

Her New Year's were always filled with family drama or facades, but this year, for the first time in a long time, she gets to enjoy it fully and not fake her smiles into something unreal. No, you earn and deserve every single crooked one thrown your way from her and you cherish each one received more than the last. There are naps and intermissions and moments where neither of you say a word for the entirety of the movie, only knowing each other are awake from slight movements or each other's hands grazing across each other's body. Other times the two of you are laughing so hard you're crying, over literally nothing at all and struggling for breath. The type of wheezing, hysteric, can-barely-hold-it-together laughter. It's a good sight on her.

The two of you are nearing the end of another movie when Reagan glances at the clock and sees that midnight is approaching fast. She scrambles up and into her kitchen, yelling from the other room that there's no need to pause the movie - which you do anyways - and hear her shuffle about and pull something from the fridge and pop a cork. She pours glasses and brings in two flutes of something bubbly and bright, either champagne or sparkling cider, and whatever graces your tongue has you grinning at her in your tattered sweater and fuzzy pants with the snoopy print.

Taking in the moment, you pull up onto the screen the ball drop and curl up against one another, infectious grins on both of your faces as you watch the countdown and share the experience. It's memorable and you'll never let go of the feeling you have when you're right beside her, hand in hers. It's electric.

Reagan kisses at your knuckle from your conjoined hands as her eyes are glued to the screen, counting along with the hosts for the ball drop meanwhile you're too enamored with her to look anywhere else, knowing you are exactly where you want to be now and want to be next New Years, and hopefully many more after that. She turns and spots your soft smile and blushes before the two of you knock your foreheads together, counting down the final 3, 2, 1, and kiss, languid and lazy and soft before breaching. You clink your glasses together, cozy back up against one another on the couch, and return to your movie. Pressing your lips to her temple, you wish her a happy new year, and as Reagan returns the favor against your collarbone, she wishes you the same.

Andre Lee

"I've never had a New Year's like this before!" You exclaim over the music, moving along with him beside you and letting him twirl you around and bring you back only to crash into him, stabilizing and getting lost in the high of the moment, and other things, as you stare at him beneath bright, glowing lights than drench Andre in rainbow hues.

"Well here's your first of many!" he shoots back, grin infectious as he giggles and squeezes at your side, stepping to the side to bring you closer to the music and standing behind you so you get the better view and he can look over your shoulder and head. "Enjoying yourself?" he says over the EDM that's blasting on the giant speakers up front, nearly as large as bikes if not cars. You nod enthusiastically, bopping along to the beat.

You take Andre's hands in yours, beaded bracelets and kandi clattering on each other's arms and wrists as you move along to the beat and feel yourself warm up even in the cold of December-turning-January, the heat of bodies warming the air up just enough to be perfect for the moment.

"That's good! Need another hit?" you shake your head no, thanking him anyway and he taps at your waist, signaling that he's going to unzip the bag at your hip, pulling out his THC pen that you decorated the other day with paint and little sticker-diamonds, making it look like Lisa Frank threw up on it.

Andre takes a hit, offers it once more to be sure you don't want any, they zips it back into your side bag before pecking the corner of your mouth affectionately, blowing the smoke away from you after holding it in for a moment. "Told you the bag was a good idea, can never hold anything in these tiny pockets." you murmur against his mouth, tasting faint flavor from the vape alongside the unwavering smell of weed, giggling against his lips.

Before he can respond, the DJ queues the countdown, and Andre jumps up and down excitedly beside you, eyes bright and glossy. "Oh I never asked," and before you can question, he kneels before you on the floor, taking your hand, and you know he's joking around but the sight still sends your heart into a frenzy, "sugar, do me the honor of being my midnight kiss?"

You laugh, pointedly mentioning that the countdown is going on as you both speak and he shakes his head, refusing to get up until you give him a formal answer. "Yes, Andre, I'll be your midnight kiss. Always." With a happy shout, he hops up to his feet and falters a moment before cupping both sides of your face between his palms and kissing you with enthusiasm, tracing the seam of your lips with his tongue as confetti rains down and the music plays, starting your New Year off just right.

Glenn Dolphman

He usually would spend New Year's eve with his daughter but she's with her mother this year. You decide to cheer him up and spend the holiday with him, appearing on his doorstep thirty minutes after ending a phone call with him after getting his update, bringing groceries from your home to his to make him food and make some new traditions you hope to share with him beyond just this year.

Glenn keeps telling you that you don't have to go to all the trouble for just him, and you continue to shrug it off in efforts to cook and care for him, shutting him up with doting, affectionate kisses in the meantime. You eventually give up and have him just sit at the kitchen counter watching as you move about, letting him help occasionally and tie the bow on the end of the apron, ignoring the warmth in your cheeks as you flush at his comment of how you look so cute in it.

"Goddamnit, just," you sigh, palms braced on the counter before you look up from the granite to him as he grins, pleased with himself, "just sit back and stop being sweet, you're killing me here." Trying to turn around, you go back to a mixing bowl of cookies and aim to reach some measuring spoons for the baking powder before you get swept up and placed atop the counter and closed in, Glenn's blunt nose knocking against yours.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" you chide, a hand on your thigh laying stagnant while the other immediately reaches for him, sprawled across his broad, solid shoulder as you feel his arms cage you in, safe and warm and secure with him surrounding you. "Testing my luck in the hopes of practicing my kiss for midnight."

You hum, brow raised as you peer up at him, looking from beneath lashes that blink doe-like. "Oh? Just like that?" Glenn nods and your hand smooths back to the hairs at the nape of his neck, tugging teasingly and pushing your own luck in the same way he is, knowing that mixing bowl's gonna' be abandoned until way later in the day, if not until late this evening.

"Alright, sarge, go on ahead, make me feel real lucky," you murmur, cupping his jaw and snaking your fingers in his hair to tug him close just so he can pull you against him and kiss you breathless, nipping at your lip tenderly in the way you taught him as not to break it, letting your legs attempt to lock around his waist. They can't even touch let alone cross at the ankle. It's safe to say those cookies don't get made until way past the countdown, and Glenn's counting off times you gush around him rather than seconds until the New Year. He likes celebrating this way far better.

Myc Celium

he doesn’t really give a shit about the New Year, mainly uses it as an excuse to get fucked up and party, but lets you have your fun, staying around at home and allowing you to press kisses across his orb and under cap gills until he’s flushed and the hues start flickering as you make him forget about the New Year while getting fresh with you.

You dress up a little and manage to get a party hat onto Myc, not without some expletives thrown your way tethered together with demeaning pet names, flagella still around your waist as you lean up on tip-toes to secure it around his cap and make sure it's not tight. He helps you stand and lifts you in order to get you higher, all the while he's calling you and your entire bloodline waste of space bastards

The two of you go about the day pretty normally, cooped up at home since there's no work party this year nor any enticing ones thrown by friends or family. The two of you just lounge about or get small tasks done around the house, display parallel play, and just do other things apart from one another while being nearby. Conversations flow occasionally and other times you can hear him on call with Andre while playing a game as you reorganize something or finally settle down to stitch those patches onto your jacket.

By the time it nears eleven, the two of you settle down for a movie, curl up with one another, greasy takeout or fast food, and watch a movie, something kitschy but classic like When Harry Met Sally. Myc constantly chimes in about how the dynamic is pretty similar to you, but he thinks he's Harry with the charm and wit when he's high maintenance enough to be Sally. You humor him and litter sticky, glitter-gloss kisses to his orb or the underside of his cap across downy-soft gills.

You had set a reminder for when it would near five minutes away from midnight just so you could give Myc a classic new year's kiss with the countdown. Timing the movie out perfectly, in a scene of fated clandestine brilliance, the final scene comes on the moment you start counting down until midnight in your head, voicing along the lines that are too sweet to ignore from Billy Crystal.

"- when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

"Aren't you a sap?" Myc comments just as you grasp at the edge of his cap and cup the underside of his orb tenderly, leaning him down to meet you halfway as you countdown and finally reach one, murmuring happy new year against him as your lips brush his surface.

"Happy New Year, Myc." you breathe, leaning back flushed a minute later after he got handsy, feeling him nudge against you and crowd you against the corner of the couch cushions. "Happy New Year, sweets."

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cognitosclowns · 2 years

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This might be a big ask but what characters do you think are dom/sub and top/bottom? If thats too long, just Brett, JR, Glenn. Thank you!

ANON YOU KNOW I LOVE LONG ASKS SMDNSDMSN

NSFW BELOW!!

okie im gonna need,, a system,, okie okie okie,,

Brett Hand

vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom

vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top

YEA BABEY <33 NOBODY IS SURPRISED HERE, HES SUPER SUBBY

mostly bc he struggles with being,, Confident and Dominant and In Charge smdnsmd.

It just doesn’t suit him!! Not a fan!!

If he does try to dom, he’s definitely very Soft Dom territory - all cooing and praise, super affectionate and doting!! Maybe some light pinning of your wrists if he’s feeling particularly,, confident.

and even then by the time he’s cumming he’s probably gonna default back to being super submissive.

it’s just so nice not having to think. He can just be soft and safe in your arms, and know that you who can enjoy yourselves without him being put together.

He can be all rambly and incoherent bc. he knows he’s safe!! He can be vulnerable with you he can be himself!! <333 twue wuv babey!!

I hold strong to the idea that he’s a vers bc not only would he be the Prettiest, Sweetest Bottom known to mankind but. I can just see him adoring getting his lights fucked out?

LIKE RAILING SOMEONE IS ONE THING, BUT BEING RAILED?? Whole different sensation. Completely different flavor of Brain Shutting Off, Nothing To Worry About to enjoy!! <33

Gigi Thompson

vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom

vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top

<3333 ANDRE SAID HE WAS ‘A LITTLE SCARED’ DURING SEX W/ HER. PLUS HER WHOLE ‘I LIKE POWER’ ON HER RIGHTSWIPE PROFILE. SHES A DOM COME ON <333

I was gonna say,, VV Dom but tbh?? I can see her letting herself unwinding a bit and letting smb else take care of her. She likes to treat herself <3

esp when she’s stressed and tired and just. everyone is pissing her off and she wants to be anyone else in the world but Gigi Thompson??

YEAH <333 those are especially the times where she just wants smb to fuck her brains out while she lays face-down in bed. Pure bliss nothing like it <3

But overall,, she’s gonna favor being dominant. she knows what she likes and she knows how to get it <3 and she knows how to make you feel perfect all the while!!

Vers, she loves both to death <3 all depends on her mood, not uncommon to,, switch halfway through and back again <3333

SHE HAS SUCH PRETTY STRAPS. SORRY YOU’RE GETTING A PARAG ABOUT THIS I THINK ABOUT IT SO OFTEN.

she gets them custom made to match her lingerie - clear and all these different glitters inside so it shines against the glow of her bedlamp <3333 the harnesses are covered in this super smooth silk <3 aaaa <33

She’s gonna have hold of your jaw, to make you’re you’re keeping eyecontact <3 whether shes giving or recieving - you’ll be able to feel the dig of her nails the whole time (stiletto, ofc)

Reagan Ridley

vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom

vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top

ARE WE SURPRISED NO BUT STILL VERY FUN <333

she much prefers to be in a,, dominant role vs submissive - gives her more room to maneuver + she’s usually the one initiating, so she can orient herself!!

She’s very specific about what she does and doesn’t like, so it just makes things easier for her!!

that isn’t to say she’ll never enjoy some submissive stuff - every once in a blue moon it’s really nice to just,,, lay back and let someone do the work.

usually with oral she’ll get more submissive, bc it feels ‘safer’?? She doesn’t have to worry about really unexpected touches or sensations. It’s super straightforward so she can,, just let her brain shut off <3333

But also. Oral is super imprecise so it isn’t usually her go-to

THAT BEING SAID SHE PREFERS BOTTOMING OVERALL

Mostly bc she doesn’t have the stamina to top. Pegging is fun but she doesn’t have the core strength to keep that up for long

MSNDMSNDMD IF YOU WANT SOME OF THAT,,, JUST RIDE HER. PLEASE. HER HEART WILL GIVE OUT IF SHE TRIES TO TOP.

Glenn Dolphman

vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom

vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top

again we aren’t surprised but ALSO,,,, THERES A LOTTA FUN HERE <333

HES A TOP AND HES GONNA TOSS YOU LIKE A HACKYSACK WHICH IS,, SUCH A DELICIOUS COMBO <333

he manhandles like nobody else. It’s like a goddamn tilt-a-whirl with how often he’s gonna be flipping you over, moving your legs, pinning you, etc. You’re gonna feel like a rodeo clown. <333 IF YOU LIKE IT ROUGH THEN HE’S ABSOLUTELY YOUR MAN

AND THE TEETH <333 look at that absolute maw,, he has such a thing for leaving marks!! If you ask he will,, gladly put those chompers to use.

JUST <333 he always gets this amazing Grimace where he bares his teeth when he’s close and. his teeth get so shimmery

he. does have a bad back though and several other injuries from several things (deployment, surgery, misc injuries he ignored and they’ve just,, got worse) so,,,, riding him will probably be the best for this knees!!

DON’T TELL HIM YOU WANT TO RIDE HIM TO MAKE SURE HE ISN’T IN PAIN THO, HE’LL GET SO HUFFY. He’s too prideful and stubborn for his own good.

Andre Lee

vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom

vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top

TRUE NEUTRAL BABEY <33 SMDNSMD

with,, the SLIGHTEST lean towards sub - just because he’s a lot more used to it!!

When he goes to orgies he loves to just,, bend himself over the nearest couch and wait. Tried and true method, never fails smmnmdsnds.

MSNDSMD HE’S ALSO VV EXPERIMENTAL!! He’ll try (almost) anything once - he lives by the idea of Don’t Knock It Till You Try It.

(granted he’s tried almost everything. but. shush.)

GOD BUT HE’S SO ENERGETIC AND FUN DURING SEX IM NEVER LETTING GO OF THIS <33

he’s just got this Vibe about him of pure excitement and shameless enjoyment.

like whyyyy should sex be so serious,, this isn’t a funeral,, please he wants both of you to be happy and giggly and feeling good!!

So whether he’s dom or sub, he’s gonna be keeping that vibe!!

Sex with Andre just has this. super Light feeling. Like afterwards you feel all floaty bc you’ve basically spent the last 3 hours,, laughing and cumming. 10/10 he’s the perfect man.

like some ppl are shy about sex, worried what ppl will think of their sounds, etc, NOPE NOT ANDRE LEE BABY

He has no problem telling you exactly how good you’re making him feel. In as much detail as his brain will allow him, the most dazed smile plastered on his face <333

Myc

vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom

vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top

YEAH NO BEING SUBMISSIVE IS VERY HARD FOR HIM. He likes having a lot of control - being submissive takes,, some vulnerability so it’s. not ideal.

Having so many tentacles <33 just,, come on, being a top fits so naturally!!!

I have thought very hard about the logistics of how he would bottom and what I’ve come up with is either,

Sounding

_______

So do with that what you will MSNDMSND

OVERALL THO??? JUST,, THE MOST FILTHY DIRTY TALK. He’s absolutely shameless. Andre’s rambling turned up to 11. He’ll comment on your thoughts, his thoughts, any little details to get you even more fucked-out and eager <33

Idk why I imagine him being pretty rough?? Like wrapping his tentacles super tight around your hands, wrists, thighs, etc. Tight like a tourniquet, as he holds you up against the nearest surface <333

LIKE TEASE AND DENIAL IS ABSOLUTELY HIS JAM. So many tentacles <3 so many fun sensations to play with.

Jr Scheimpough

vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom

vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top

THE MOST SUBBY BOTTOM TO EVER BOTTOM. we already knew this but COME ONNNN <33333

He may rival Brett in that regard smdnsdm I’m unsure.

he will top,, sometimes,, but that submissiveness never goes away <33 he’ll be begging and apologizing the whole time.

NO IM NEVER GIVING UP ON THE,, ‘JR apology kink’ train. It lives in the walls of my brain. I don’t even know if there’s a specific word for it but this man has such a thing for Apologizing and Begging Forgiveness. Half of his work is groveling. He throws himself on his knees at the slightest provocation. I am a JR Apology Kink Truther.

ALSO DEGREDATION SMDNSDM

<333 HE WANTS TO FEEL LIKE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH BABY BE MEAN BE CRUEL <333333

I would go Full Bottom but,, I feel like he does likes topping, he just lacks the energy most of the time.

He’s always so stressed and exhausted from working around whatever the last disaster was, that most of the time he just wants to get his brains turned to jelly. and not have to do anything. Greedy bastard <3

Alpha-Beta

vv sub - sub - switch - dom - vv dom

vv bottom - bottom - vers - top - vv top

YANNOW,, I was gonna go vv dom but. I feel like you could get this man submissive

His preference for being dom + top is mostly due to

This bitch loves being in a role with power,, having ‘control’ over smth or someone,,,,, it fulfills the same biological niche that Ruling Over The World would occupy MSNDMSND

Oh No Vulnerability Is Terrifying (tm)

If you know what buttons to push, this man will be as pliable as tinfoil for you <3

Praise and/or Overstimulation are the fastest avenues, but there’s plenty of room for experimentation with him!! He’s,, almost always up for a challenge, and he loves seeing how far he can be pushed.

MWA OK I THINK THATS ALL OF EM <333 this was very fun, please lmk if you had something else in mind!!!

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jrandreal · 11 months

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Intro & Masterlist

Hey, I'm Diego! Welcome to my Inside Job Blog! I'm autistic and this show has captivated me in a time of struggle. I draw, write, theorize, and generally discuss the show. For writing, I mostly do x reader headcanons.

> Asks open! {Writing requests, art requests, comments, questions, & anything else. I love having a flooded inbox.}

Likes & follows from cocasoula.

Twitter - Instagram - YouTube

Theory Masterlist:

Ridley Diploma

Dietrich Kluge

Robe-O-Reagan

Writing Masterlist:

The gang (Everyone):

The gang realizing they have a crush on you

Rand:

Autistic reader immune to his abrasiveness

My art tag

My theory tag

My writing tag

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insidereagan · 2 years

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brett hand x reader - injuries

sorry if this isn’t the best, and has typos i just had a panic attack and am writing this to calm down lol

brett walked through the door, his eyes looking that of a sad puppys, and limping a lot. you could tell he was upset, so you beckoned him to come over to you.

“brett, honey, c’mere,” you whispered softly, picking up a blanket for him, as brett slowly walked to the couch, and snuggled up to you. “baby, are you alright? did something happen?” you asked, and brett rested his head on your shoulder, and nodded, before rolling up his trouser to reveal a large cut on his knee, before he started bawling. “oh, love, shhh, it’s okay. you’re safe now. let’s get you all cleaned up, yea? then we can order takeout and watch tv if you want, or we can just snuggle,” you told him, going off the couch to get the first aid kit. when you came back, he was still crying, but seemed to calm down when you took out a plaster and put it on his knee, and kissed his face gently, and he kissed you back.

“there we are, dear. i’m so proud of you, what would you like to do now?” “c-can we watch the growing years and eat pizza? then maybe cuddle? w-we don’t have t-,” brett began but before he could finish, you were papering by his face with kisses, and telling him of course you could, and that you loved him.

#Inside job #inside job andre #reagan ridley #inside job #andre lee #gigi thompson #glenn dolphman #autistic reagan ridley #inside job brett #inside job reagan #magic myc #brett hand #inside job netflix #jr scheimpough #brett hand x reader #reader x brett hand #Inside job imagine

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sleeplessdreamer14 · 1 year

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JR: alright, I get it. You’re all without fathers-

Y/N: I’m not. F**kin’ love my dad.

#just a lil thingy I’m planning on drawing later #inside job x reader #inside job #y/n #inside job jr #jr scheimpough #incorrect quotes #inside job incorrect quotes #source: unknown

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berrycheesecak3 · 1 month

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I was rewatching part 1 and 2 of Inside Job recently and could hardly find x reader fanfics with multiple chapters ANYWHERE?? then an idea for a fanfic popped in my head: a Rand Ridley x reader fic of them being at Harvard set in the late 70s. There would be a whole enemies to lovers, and academic rivals to lovers trope with LOTS OF ANGST

Jr and a lot of other characters that we’ve seen will be included

I was also thinking that it’d also cover the events of the show as well , and maybe I’ll make up my own plot after it since it ends on a cliff hanger???

lmk if there’s anyone out there who would read this because I’d love to write something like this !!!

#inside job #rand ridley #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #Rand Ridley x reader #x reader #reagen ridley #jr scheimpough #inside job fandom #inside job netflix #inside job fanfic #inside job x reader

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ibelieveinthejrsupremecy · 1 year

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J.R, staring upwards: So, Y/n broke up with me… haha…

Rand: Why are you looking up?

J.R: I need to cry, but my foundation was 48 dollars!

#insidejob #incorrect quotes #inside job rand #inside job jr #gay #jrand #old men in love #rand ridley #jr scheimpough #jr x male reader #rand ridely x male reader #male reader #gn reader #y/n #samEEL'S post

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jollyclamshepherdbandit · 1 year

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Would you all forgive me if I just

Pulled something like this?

#my art #art #wyatt art #netflix #inside job #inside job jr #inside job jr scheimpough #jr scheimpough #baby giiiirl #simp #inside job headcanon #inside job x reader #inside job netflix

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cognitozclownz · 2 years

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Anonymous asked:

Any sleeping headcanons for everyone? maybe including reader? thank you so much!!!

---

AWE THIS IS SOFT <333

SFW

tw : drugs and drug use

Andre

Yknow when you gotta pull an all nighter, and then youre like 'no im gonna stay awake all day and get to sleep at 8 and then my sleep schedule is gonna reset itself' and you end up falling asleep at like,, 2?

and then when you wake up it feels like you were just dug out of your grave

yeah thats All of Andre's Sleep.

HE HAS SUCH A BAD SCHEDULE AND,, HE CONSTANTLY WAKES UP IN THE NIGHT??? He has such awful insomnia

Melatonin no longer works on him bc of,, how much he uses constantly so most nights he just puts on a buncha music + tv + maybe a fan or two to just... basically force his brain to stop thinking??

usually passes out around 4-5 am, wakes up at 7, accidentally falls asleep during lunch, wakes up feeling like Death, goes home an hr early.

OH THOSE NIGHTS WHERE HE SLEEPS WELL??? He feels like an entirely new man. He could fight the sun and win.

AND DEAR READER <333 BOY OH BOY DOES HE SLEEP WELL IN YOUR ARMS

like seriously if you just,, hook an arm around him while you're laying down?? Maybe cradling his neck a bit?? He's out like a light <3

he usually curls up Super Tight?? Like almost fetal position facing you?? <333 His legs will slowly flop out during the night to pull you closer.

MSNDMSD WHEN HE WAKES UP HE STRETCHES AROUND LIKE HES BEING EXORCISED AND THEN,,, COLLAPSES BACK INTO BED.

Gigi

AS ONE OF THE ONLY RESPONSIBLE ADULTS AT COGNITO, she does to bed at a reasonable time and has a strict routine <3

She seriously looks forward to her nighttime routine <333 with how hectic Everything Is All The Time, its nice to have something that doesn't change!!

removing makeup, brushing teeth, a nice bath if she's had a particularly bad day (if not, she still usually soaks her feet bc,,,, heels hurt lmao), getting into her robe.

MNSDMSD she is unable to be contacted from the hours of 9pm to 6am. the world could be ending and you won't be able to reach her unless you come knocking at her door smdnsd. ITS SOMEBODY ELSES PROBLEM, SHES OFF THE CLOCK. LET HER REST.

So Many Pillows, a massive duvet and probably a weighted blanket. smothered <333 she usually tosses and turns a lot so it helps her to not fall off the bed. Besides its like a hug from every direction <33 how delightful

LAY ON HER. i cannot emphasize this enough, positively flop on top of her. she has you close AND there's that lovely Compressed feeling <333

it also means she can wrap her arms around you n <333 keep you still when you try to get up in the morning.

she DOES have a few pets and they WILL scamper around your bed <333 that’s usually her alarm lmao so expect a cat attacking your toes at 5 am.

Reagan

msdnsd she really is like a cat when it comes to sleeping. Wherever she can fit herself.

she RARELY if ever sleeps in her bed??

SHES,,, VERY BUSY.

And also,, usually she doesn’t want to deal with Rand at the end of the day so it can be nice to make up some excuse and just stay at Cognito.

oh she loves sleeping in her lab <333 the sounds of machinery is like a heartbeat. She absolutely has like,, a sleeping nook somewhere in there??

Like,, nestled behind a wall panel there’s this <33 small, cushion-y crevice that she can hide away in <3

BUT IF SHE’S SLEEPIN WITH YOU??

She doesn’t like to be restrained!! If she’s sleepin with her back turned to you/one specific side of the bed it’s not bc she’s upset, she just can’t stand being too close to smb when she sleeps dmsnds

depending on the night though, she might want an arm to hold onto!! Just kinda,, curled up against your side, head on your arm, both of her own wrapped around it??? <333 yea

Brett

CUDDLIEST MAN ALIVEEE.

He just <33 physical touch makes him so happy.

THIS ALSO MEANS THAT

he has a shit ton of pillows and blankets

HE HOLDS A PILLOW TO SLEEP.

He genuinely cannot sleep without clinging to a pillow. It calms him down so much - maybe its bc he’s super touch starved, or the fact that he’s cozied up to smth so warm and soft but <333 it knocks him out so fast

AHA <333 IF YOU TWO ARE SLEEPIN TOGETHER, HE’S ABSOLUTELY GONNA HOLD YOU LIKE HIS PILLOW. Just,, a mess of limbs, basically cradling you in his arms?? Kinda like an extended fetal position??

EAR AGAINST YOUR CHEST <333 your heartbeat is like a lullaby for him.

<33333 it makes him feel safe knowing you’re there AND you’re all warm n cozy so <333 its even better.

Glenn

sleepin on his back makes his tail hurt </3 he used to sleep on his back, but now it just compresses his tail into a whole new world of pain </3

This means he usually sleeps on his side or stomach!!!

if he’s on his stomach you can,, absolutely collapse onto his back like a Lizard on a Hot Stone lmao. You’ll get some Southern Grumbling (tm) and maybe some laughs <3

IF HES NOT TOO TIRED,, HE MIGHT SPIN ROUND N SNATCH YOU UP IN HIS ARMS <333 some lil,, ‘the nerve, pouncin’ on an old man like me <3′ before rolling the two of you onto your sides <3333

<33333 his hands fiddle so much. Just,, gently rubbing your back?? He could be half asleep and his hand is still gonna be just <33 quietly soothin you <3

ABSOLUTELY SNORES <33 MSNDSMD IM SO SORRY ITS LIKE SMB BATTERING ON A BARN DOOR </3

OKAY SO SLEEP IS INTERESTING FOR HIM

I personally hc that,, he Does need to sleep - it gives his internal systems time to do proper diagnostics, reboot things as needed, etc. Theoretically he could probably go without sleep for months, but there'd be some Pretty Bad Side Effects smdnsd.

HE WOULDN'T DO THAT UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY BC HE LOVES SLEEP <3

oh how he savors being unconscious for 6-12 hours.

it's definitely smth that grew on him?? Like when he was in his tube,, sleep was just a way to pass the time. virtually nothing happened at night and there was no reason to watch empty halls for 6 hrs when he could just,, Skip It.

IN A PROPER BED THOUGH??? WITH YOU?

That’s 6-12 hours of cuddling being in vague closeness to you <333 now he DOUBLE loves sleeping.

He could probably sleep through a house fire smdnsd. He says he doesn’t get tired but <333 listen he might make you late for work a few times bc,, he’s all cozy and you’re warm >:( he is not letting go smdnsds

he would be unconscious at all times if that was an option

GODDDD NAPS ARE THE BEST HE DIDN'T APPRECIATE NAPS ENOUGH WHEN HE WAS A KID.

Like <33 the amount of time you’ll find him w/ his head rolled back, laptop in his lap w/ some Work Shit on it, just,,, completely passed out??? It’s a twice-weekly affair.

He,, rarely gets to sleep in a bed - even once you two are living together, you’ll usually find him face-down at his desk bc,, he got caught up in Some New Problem. You’ll have more than a few late nights trying to wrangle his stubborn ass away from his office and into a bed >:(

he’s broken a few pairs of glasses from forgetting to take them off before falling asleep and proceding

<333 he probably won’t ask for it, but <3333 hold him. He loves spooning w/ you. eventually he’ll,, slowly spin around in the night until his face is buried in your chest smndsmd.

ITS NOT LIKE ITS EASY TO CUDDLE HIM THO BC HE’S COLD AS BALLS-

corpselike. he runs FRIGID. He’ll try to cuddle up to you during the night and it feels like the Hand Of Death itself is wrapping around your waist smdnsnmd.

Myc

MASSIVE BED. Enough to fit,, several people. ITS ALSO A WATERBED, bc he gives me the vibes of a man who would own a waterbed.

his tendrils twitch so much when he sleeps - same way some ppl kick in their sleep? </3 you are being kicked by several tentacles

HE PRETENDS TO BE A HARDASS BUT <333 GOD HE REALLY LOVES AFFECTION.

Like come on, he’s 4000 years old - he rarely gets attached to people. He savors what few soft moments life gives him with you.

<3 sleeping is probably his favorite

OH YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY SWARMED. If you like being squeezed he will have no problem wrappin you up in his tentacles - they kinda,,, pulse a bit?? Almost like a heartbeat, but different for each tentacle.

He mights squeeze a bit too hard in his sleep <333

LOTS OF COMMENTS, BC,, IT’S MYC.

‘Can’t get enough’a me, huh ;)’ if you snuggle closer to him, half-awake, etc. <333

#myc #magic myc #magic myc x reader #myc x reader #sfw #glenn dolphman #glenn dolphman x reader #gigi thompson #gigi thompson x reader #jr scheimpough #jr scheimpough x reader #brett hand #brett hand x reader #alpha-beta #robotus alpha-beta x reader #robotus alpha-beta #alpha-beta x reader #reagan ridley #reagan ridley x reader #andre lee #andre lee x reader #UHHH I THINK THATS EVERYBODY??#THIS WAS SUPER CUTE <333 EEEE #bonus : jr needs a mouthguard and doesn't wear it bc it makes his mouth taste weird #HE GRINDS HIS TEETH IN HIS SLEEP </3 BC HES ALWAYS SO STRESSED #SO LIKE... HE NEEDS HI SMOUTHGUARD BUT DOESN'T FFFFUCKING WEAR IT #*kisses them all gently* my darlings #god the idea of AB being a heavy sleeper hit me over the head <33 and hasn't left since #you could roll this man off the bed and he wouldn't notice. 'genius ai' mhm sure catch him when he's asleep and he's a paperweight smdnsmd #LIKE GOD <333 tired ab just barely blinking awake and immediately huffing n??? cuddling closer bc NO. fuck he doesn't wanna wake up.

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sin-sidejob · 1 year

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Inside Job Text Prefs

texts to send them abandoning their work and stripping their clothes off while running to you:

JR scheimpough

— “My lunch meeting just got canceled. Also, I’m not wearing any panties.”

Andre Lee

— “want to fuck while testing your new strain?”

Brett Hand

— “I want a baby.”

Glenn Dolphman

— “anyway we can get clearance to fuck in the tank? I heard the seat’s comfy.”

Reagan Ridley

— “Filled the coffee pot. Btw, want to break in your new office, CEO?”

Gigi Thompson

— “saw you earlier while grabbing coffee. You look tired. My face is free to rest on.”

Alpha Beta Robotus

— “I’ve got a new idea for a dick modification. Also, you look good today.”

Myc Celium

— “want to see how many flagella you can put in me? I feel like breaking our record.”

Ron Staedtler

— “it’ll count as repentance if you kneel between my thighs.”

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cognitosclowns · 2 years

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the gang with like. a S/O with an almost overwhelming amount of pets, that's always covered in fur?? like, not JUST cats and dogs, but anything you can imagine... some are probably illegal???? they have snakes and spiders, mice, fish, a whole ass racoon they found in the dumpster?? managed to get a turtle and sea creatures too. you walk into their house n it's just.. a zoo.

AWEEEEE <3333

SFW THIS IS SO CUTE!! Wrote as X Reader just bc it's easier for my poor little pea brain

Gigi

STARTING WITH HER BC. I HC HER ALSO BEING A COLLECTOR OF ANIMALS. AND I LOVE HER DEARLY.

we see that her right swipe profile she's sitting on a tiger and I just. I'm obsessed with the idea that she has a shit ton of pets that she loves so dearly <33

PLEASE you and her probably ended up becoming friends from swapping animal care tips + design ideas,, and it just,, grew from there. mwa mwa mwa.

MSNDS DW ABOUT OWNING ILLEGAL PETS SO DOES SHE. She 10000% has a crocodile. they're so big and dangerous and absolutely gorgeous.

SHE LOVES PUPPIES SHE LOVES PUPPIES IF YOU HAVE PUPPIES SHES GONNA CRY.

You know how Rafe was like 'oooo you have no tells so mysterious you're hiding so much' NO that goes out the window when she sees a pubby. She is screaming in lowercase and making Scrunchy Hands at it

Usually she's super particular about stuff touching her outfits (they're expensive and she hate having to replace stuff) but. when she sees an animal. no she doesn't care anymore smdnsmd

AAA <3333 you and her strolling through her private aviary,,,, her gifting you a bird to take home <33 probably one of her favorite doves, for the symbolism <333

Reagan

she is. very concerned about the logistics of this,, how do you find the time to take care of them all she could never MSDNSMD

She definitely prefers more,, independent animals? Lizards, cats.

That isn't to say she'll be mean or anything to more affectionate animals, she just isn't as fond of super energetic dogs getting all up-close.

(she does think they're super cute running around <3 from a distance smdnsmd she'll absolutely curl up on the couch and watch your doggies play)

Her face scrunches up when she sees your turtles. hm. unpleasant memories.

<3 when she's stumped on smth, she talks to your fish. The lights are all super dim and soothing, and it's nice to talk to smth that doesn't talk back!!

they're also super nice for when she can't sleep - just going into the basement, sitting on that cozy couch, sprinkling in a bit of food. Cozying up to watch them swim around until she can drift off,,, <333

MAYBE,, even you sitting next to her,, rubbing her hand until she's off <33

not a fan of dogs - Rand sicced one on him when they were younger. 0/10, you might be able to warm him up to the puppies but,, he still gets pretty jumpy around full-grown dogs

Definitely prefers cuddling up with one of your kitties <33333

OH you know this prissy little rich boy is gonna buy you your own zoo. like a PROPER zoo that's solely yours that you can,, visit whenever <3333

yeah it's a little extra but shh gifts are his love language MSNDSMD.

He'll constantly offer to get you new stuff for them, even as you insist 'everything still works perfectly, there's no need to replace it'

HES STUBBORN THO SO YOU'LL GET AT LEAST,, A FEW THINGS GET SWAPPED BEHIND YOUR BACK. It's ok everything works way better now

OH if you have a fish pond that's gonna be his jam. Sitting out there, tossing in feed... feeling them suck on his fingers all stupidly,, <3333

aaa <33 you joining him out there, quietly talking about your days <3 his work clothes a little undone, looking all peaceful and happy <333 gbrbrbrbrbr menfolk SORRY SORRY NEXT PERSON

Brett

Watching Brett interact with a dog is like. reintroducing a rescue animal to its pack MSNDSM

LIKE HE GETS ON THE GROUND AND SCRAMBLES AROUND ON HIS HANDS AN KNEES WITH THEM AND EVERYTHING. HES SO CUTE AND INTO IT. HE LOVES PLAYING WITH ANIMALS.

He isn't afraid of bugs!! or spiders or rats!! He finds all animals so cute. He used to talk to the spiders in his room when he was younger :')

PLEASE <333 he gasps whenever he sees your pets. he will become best friends with all of them before the day is up. You've been betrayed they love him so much now.

problem they all go BATSHIT WHEN HE APPEARS.

HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE IN EYELINE THEY KNOW HIS SMELL YOU CAN HEAR EM ZOOMING FROM DOWN THE HALL.

THE HOUSE SOUNDS LIKE A ZOO SERIOUSLY EVERY BEASTIE STARTS SHRIEKING.

HE GETS ABSOLUTELY TACKLED whenever he visits. He's learned to jump outta the way bc otherwise he's gonna get absolutely Stampeded lmao.

GOD the cuddle piles. He will literally just lay on the floor and the animals will flop on top of him. He dissolves into giggles, but that doesn't deter them. Truly the most disney princess ever.

Andre

OH YOU KNOW HE'S RUNNING AROUND LIKE A KID IN A CANDY SHOP

He loves animals he double loves FUNKY animals. Lizards Reptiles Bugs Snakes Weird Fish

HE WAS TOTALLY A DINOSAUR KID. Watches the og Jurassic Park obsessively, that was totally his jam - loves your birdies and lizards <3333

he 1000% will swap cool fact with you >:) he got his bachelors in biology babey!! He's a smart guy and nothing's more fun than talking Science with his baby <3

sigh. yes he makes a Pussy joke when you introduce him to your cats. yes he has that shit-eating grin on his face. yes you love him MSNDMSD

Expect to find him. just. sitting in front of the gecko enclosure staring head on at them.

'we're communicating'

'you aren't communicating shit'

'we're communicating'

MSNDMSND he's chaos and will absolutely help you with chores. He might even collect Samples (nothing harmful, ofc) from em to make New Funky Shit (tm) in his labs - it's great to have fresh options available!!

Myc

He's learned not to question your shenanigans at this point MSNDSMD when he sees you smuggling Test Animals out in tote bags he just grabs a basket and starts grabbing gerbils. Partner in crime babey

ohhhh dogs don't like myc dogs do not like myc nononono

cats too. most mammals seem to have an Aversion to him. They won't outright attack, but they get super pissy. Something about his scent.

it's fine tho bc he isn't a fan of em either - fur, yknow? Doesn't mix well with gooey tentacles

it's the DEAD opposite for your fish - they follow him around and crowd the corners of the tank trying to reach him when he comes over. He absolutely messes with them a little, moving from side-to-side of the tank and watching them scramble around.

yes he'll read your pets minds if you pester him enough. They don't think in the same Format as humans - it's more Vibes Based than actual coherent thoughts.

FUCK BUGS FUCK BUGS FUCK BUGS ABSOLUTELY FUCK BUGS

he's gonna scale you like a fucking tree if he sees a spider. he doesn't even care if it's locked up, keep that shit away from him

He's definitely more of a,, lizard-fish-amphibian type of guy!! No fur to stick to his tendrils, low-maintenance, doesn't mistake his tentacles for chewtoys

Glenn

he misses petting dogs

HE LOVES SEEIN EM THOUGH

esp bc he had,, a bunch of different dogs growing up to help with the farm <333 he's got such a southern boy softspot for em

AAA <333 if you mention loving fish. expect his face to go pink

he knows you didnt mean it like that he knows you didnt mean it like that but it doesn't matter it's in his head now and it's never getting out. Doesn't even matter if you're dating his brain is latching onto that so hard

FUCK BUGS PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

you'd think smb who was literally in the army wouldn't be afraid of bugs but NOPE HE WILL JUMP OUTTA HIS SKIN IF HE SEES YOUR TARANTULAS

on a similar note. please keep cats away from him they will eat him. like EAT him they will hunt this man for sport i stg MSNDMSD

AAA <333 IF YOU HAVE LIKE,, FARM ANIMALS??? like cows sheep chickens piggies?? HOGS??

the fucking nostalgia knocks him OUT he has been in the city too long. please let him help you with chores, he's missed it so much

Alpha-Beta

hush don't think about the how

He's. actually kinda impressed? quietly tho he has appearances to keep up. You'll see those clever little eyes dancing around the tanks, the

PLEASE you know he'd pretend to be all High and Mighty 'oh animals only love you for your food' but the SECOND you turn your back this silly bastard is gonna be cooing over one of the kitties that are rubbing against his leg.

He's gonna,, a bit hesitant to pet them at first because Oh Fuck It Is So Fragile And I Am So Strong, but after you shove a puppy into his arms. He Is Fine He Is Content.

literally just sit this man with a small animal he will be absolutely entraptured it's delightful

OH I can absolutely see him giving you some extra care tips. Babey he's got the whole internet in his brain he's,, absolutely got some Super Niche Info to improve your pets quality of life.

He's so,, warm and his body hums a bit,,, like the purr of a cat,, it draws them to him.

the first two he's calm, then 5, then 7, then the whole bundle is curled up against him and he looks absolutely Distressed smmdsdnms

AAA <333 this was so cute and soft <33 lmk if you had smth else in mind, and feel free to add more ideas!!

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