#jug speaks

[jug-coining]

Do you do requests for gender flags?

I haven't had the energy to coin anything as of late, but once I do I'll be taking requests, yes.

#jug answers #jug speaks

[bornetoblood]

SMUG JUG CALLOUT POST

i'm cancelling the jug for being too smug

here it is hiding from the allegations

THE SMUG CANNOT CONTINUE. END THIS MADNESS. IT MUST FACE JUGSTICE.

#smug jug callout #sorry for discorse on main guys its just impornat #smug jug #the rat speaks

[stevie-petey]

I love Jonathan but I need more of Dustin being protective of bug and being a dick to Jonathan. I feel like the kids would divide into their own ships. Like a few kids ship jug the rest ship stug. It's funny to think about them debating the older kids love lives like it's some kind of a show and not real life.

Dustin would be a stug shipper just because he's holding a grudge against Jonathan. He doesn't want to think about his sister in a relationship but he'll be damned if Jon thinks he's got a shot.

Lucas remains undecided ( but leaning towards stug) while max is a fellow stug shipper ( because Steve is cooler than Jonathan)

Mike is a jancy shipper just for his sister and els a jancy shipper because Mike is.

Will is a jug shipper, he doesn't really have a connection with Nancy like he does bug. Nothing against Nancy it's just he grew up with bug and loves her like a sister. He wishes jug could've worked out but won't force it

i agree with everything except the mike part. we havent seen much of it yet, but mike is the biggest bug lover out of the entire group (its why they clash so much) and he will always 1000% be on team bug. mans honestly thinks both jon n steve arent good enough for her (no man is) and he will always go “you should dump him” whenever bug complains about steve

and will 1000000% wishes it had been jon n bug :( like u said, he loves nancy, but bug is his favorite person in the entire world and he wishes they wouldve worked out

and the kids all def have a conversation about this in the future with lucas going “looking back, there were signs” and dustin hating the ENTIRE conversation lmao

#ask #anon #m speaks #ch insight #and yes lucas: team stug (loved jug tho) #max: team stug because steve high fived her once #el: stug but she wishes bug was her sister #dustin: stug because steve drives him places #mike: bug because shes a strong independent woman #will: mourns jug

[daughterofsarenrae]

Literally dont have any juice in the house. How am i supposed to live in these conditions.

#man i could put away an entire jug of appy juice rn #but i dont FUCKING have any #weeping and wailing and cursing the cruel world for this injustice #bel speaks

[dennisboobs]

look at his breakfast spread

#iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #dennis reynolds #ada speaks #im going to throw up thinking about him cutting up all that fruit and squeezing an entire glass jug of orange juice #shout out to the one tiny bit of bacon he's holding but never eats #he fucking cut the tops off the strawberries. #i am unwell #it's on a tray. with a placemat. and a napkin. which he set the cutlery nicely on top of.

[queer-cosette]

the jam's the jug

#the jam's the jug #coco speaks

[itsyourstarboy]

I'll see fics that mention Sam using a kettle to make tea, and I never have the heart to point out that most southern folk don't even know what a kettle is

#i didnt know until i was like 12 #and i cant speak for all southern peeps but my family doesnt make tea like... water in a mug with a tea bag #we boil pots of water and then use it to make a jug of tea #and the tea is always sweet and cold #hot tea is weird to me #redacted audio #redacted sam #redacted sam collins #🐏💎 #just southern things ✨

[jug-coining]

for idol anima - did you mean idle animations? or am I missing something ^^'

Yes, -idolanima is related idol animations. -idolanima[tion]. Hope this answers your question.

#jug answers #jug speaks

[badolmen]

Sometimes grocery shopping is a painful chore where I have to exist in public and sometimes it puts my soul at ease to stare at hundreds of mass produced plastic bottles.

My grandpa sold the patent for $120 dollars - I think Monsanto bought it, like they bought most of everything in town then. They were much more interested in chemicals and oil and plastics than agriculture then.

My grandpa invented the machine to mass produce plastic milk jugs - and to my knowledge the base design hasn’t changed much, except for accommodating greater efficiency and different shapes.

$120. That was enough for rent then - maybe a few meals for his 5 kids and wife. $120. And I see the fruits of his labor still today, as millions of people do when they see plastic coke bottles and milk jugs.

Coca Cola sent him the first plastic bottle they produced using his machine’s design. It sits on the mantle above our fireplace, gathering dust we can’t clean - it never came with a cap, or someone lost it along the way.

When I moved away from home I started paying more attention to the bottles when grocery shopping. I wasn’t able to see that shamrock green pain-in-the-ass-when-dusting bottle everyday, so I looked forward to perusing its modern cousins every weekend.

I didn’t really know my grandpa. I remember him - a skinny santa with a snowy beard and a head of wild white hair that would make Einstein jealous. I remember him playing a game where he tickled his grandchildren, a threatening “bumblebee, bumblebee” before a “buzz!” followed by the joyful shrieks of toddlers. My younger brother - firstborn of my grandma’s lastborn son - inherited the physical record of the patent and it’s sale.

I don’t remember him a faceless, half drunk Irish American selling a patent to the company with its claws in every blue collar house in town during the 50s. I don’t remember him accurately determining the voltage of open outlets by sticking his finger in them and electrocuting himself. I don’t remember him young and brilliant and penniless and begging my grandma’s Lithuanian father for her hand. No one but my family remembers him like that.

But I, and millions or billions of people every day, see the work of his machine inside of tailgate coolers and Walmart refrigerators. Sure, they’re a scourge upon the earth - the face of modern pollution - but they’re also an integral facet of a society still dependent on plastic and enamored by mass production of single use bottles. Billions of dollars forked out every year to make as many bottles as financially beneficial.

Grumpa Joe wouldn’t care - he would grunt, shrug, and tune the radio to the classical station to lay down for a nap. At least from what I’ve been told.

#ra speaks #personal #writing #prose #kind of. I needed to brain dump. #it drives me insane if I think abt it for too long. #and also makes me want to kick Monsanto’s ass even harder #anyways if you’re buying milk in a jug this weekend say thank you grumpa joe

[degenderates]

remembering when me and ethel cain were the only 2 “fans” listed for jug face (2013) on letterboxd

#now it's just her lol. i switched my 4th slot out for starcrossed (2005) #josiah speaks #jug face

[apollos-boyfriend]

THAT WAS ONE TIME

#icarus speaks #this and the time i made mcytblr think purpled wrote chug jug will follow me to my grave i fear.

[dozenssporks]

A video from Meryl’s personal files

*Meryl is standing in front of a door looking up into the camera with a strangely bright, fixed smile*

meryl: Milly and I just met a big deadline and for once we get a couple days off! Life is good, right? We decided to have a little girl time, me and Milly. And Zazie. But that’s only because someone left a window open.

*meryl shrugs and makes an ‘I dunno’ face*

meryl: I argued they’re not qualified for girl time and they argued that they’re not not qualified for girl time. I gave up and made them a cocktail. Plus, they complimented my shoes which earns them points.

*moves the camera to show a shot of the designer heels she’s wearing*

meryl: they’re prada. Nice right? All this is to say that today has all the ingredients for a very nice day. A real change of pace. So the thing is . . .

*she closes her eyes for a moment and takes a deep, slow breath*

meryl: when you have a man classified as a natural disaster staying in your home you want to keep him outside of it as much as possible. So what do you do? Well, you need a few odds and ends so you send him for a little shopping trip. Nothing big. Milk, some laundry detergent, that sort of thing. You even write him a detailed list so there’s absolutely no confusion. And off he goes in his little red coat to present some money, take ownership of products, and return home in triumph. What could possibly go wrong?

*the smile drops and meryl takes a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose and take a few more deep breaths before continuing*

meryl: I mean, you certainly don’t expect to find him dying on your doorstep.

*meryl opens the door behind her and steps outside. Vash is laying in a tangle on the sidewalk in what appears to be a remarkably large pool of blood. It also appears that he had attempted to write something with the blood but only got as far as ‘it was’*

vash: meryl, meryl, I think they got an artery, avenge me meryl

meryl: yeah yeah. Don’t flail around I’m gonna step over you and if my shoes get dirty you’re a dead man.

vash: aren’t those the shoes that go with the little gray purse? Looking good.

*vash gives a feeble thumbs up*

meryl: don’t try and butter me up, mister. But thank you.

*the camera swoops around a little as meryl steps over vash and crouches down on the pavement, placing a half-full cocktail glass next to herself*

meryl: sooo, vash, what was it I asked you to do?

vash, faintly: go shopping?

meryl: and did you buy everything on the list?

vash: no . . .

meryl: what did you buy, mr. stampede?

vash: . . . two jugs of ketchup from the bulk section. they were on sale.

meryl, with brittle sweetness: and what happened after that, hm?

vash: haha, your sidewalk failed to meet safety standards?

meryl, dropping her smile and replacing it with a look of barely contained rage: you tripped on a beer can. A beer can you left out here last night. A beer can I told you to throw out last night before somebody tripped on it and hurt themselves. That beer can.

vash: yeah, that beer can.

meryl: which resulted in this ketchup carnage on the sidewalk, on the doorstep, the outside of the door, the windows--

vash, sadly: and me

meryl: we aren’t talking about you right now

vash, muttering: coulda fooled me

meryl, looking up as if at an invisible audience: look, look at this disaster man. Being around him inspires me to be a better person

*leaning forward to get her face as close to vash’s as possible without coming in contract with the ketchup, her voice lowering to a deadly growl*

meryl: but he also inspires me to take that stupid tie that always appears when he’s drunk, wrap it around his neck, and slowly strangle him to death with it

*whimpering from vash*

meryl, downing the rest of her cocktail: so what have we learned?

vash: that that color really suits your nails?

meryl: thanks, milly gave me a manicure. I’ll have to take them off before work but I’ll enjoy what I can when I can.

vash: it’s really the little things that make life so good.

meryl: unfortunately it’s the big things that waste my money and wreck havoc in my home. What happens now, mr. walking disaster, is that you’re going to take the hose, clean the sidewalk, clean yourself, and you are not allowed inside until you are tomato free and dry

vash: can I at least get a towel or something?

meryl, standing up and stepping over vash again: I’ll see how I feel after another drink. Another three drinks. And a facial.

vash: when you already have such lovely skin?

meryl: just get up off the ground and pretend like you’re a person and not an unfortunate incident!

*the camera swoops and shakes as meryl marches back inside and slams the door behind her. The video ends*

#trigun #trigun stampede #trigun modern au #trigun on the run au #a dozen sporks speaks #it's killing meryl that the ketchup is preventing her from grabbing him by the collar and shaking until his neck snaps #later: vash huddled on the doorstep shivering watching the street lights come on #his coat is hanging on a bush. still dripping #meryl finally brings him towels and let him come inside to dry #milly gives him a facial #zazie is hanging over the windowsill passed out #the next day they have homemade fries to have with the ketchup from the jug that survived #milly peeled vash chopped and meryl fried because vash wouldn't stop ducking with the oil spit at him #all in all it was a good time until the police dropped by #to inquire about a strange man seen hanging around outside the night before #and vash is gone in a cloud of dust

[inutaffy]

"it sounds insane but i remember his eyes. so i'm going house to house to--"

"stare into men's eyes🤨?" hands down the funniest fucking thing that has ever been said in riverdale.

#yeah archie looking into men's eyes??? #oh i didn't even tell you guys he pushed jughead against the wall backstage before the play and they were smiling like what #what is going on #one day you aren't in speaking terms the next day you're having a homo moment #it wasn't super gay. but it was just nice bc jug was holding the camera and was caught a bit off guard

[milf-harrington]

decided i wanted to make a jumbo hot milo and put it in my water bottle and only remembered after i'd boiled the kettle that my water bottle is currently full of water so im going to see if i can skull the whole thing

#in the time it took me to write this post i got 1/4 down and i already feel ill so i might just pour it back into the jug #that's not gross is it? my mum pours her wine back into the bottle all the time #im just gonna have to be quick and make sure to finish the jug before anyone else does #captain speaks