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#jughead jones


Jughead: You’re okay right? You’re not hurt?!

Betty: No, no, I’m fine! I’m totally fine! No, no, I’m fine.

Jughead: Really? Because you’re repeating words, you’re hella pale, and you look like you’re about to topple over.

Betty: Yes. I think you might wanna catch me…

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Archie: Ronnie, Betty and Jughead are in the other room, right?

Veronica: Yeah?

Archie: And you said every room is soundproof?

Veronica:… Yeah? Why?

Archie: But are the walls supposed to move like that?

Veronica: Oh my god!

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Betty Cooper and Jughead Jones were the royal couple. They were high school sweethearts, who were undoubtedly intelligent masterminds, so much so that they got an early pass for college during their 4th year.

At age 19, they had already succeeded in everything, and eventually decided to settle down for a while in a large home sorrounded by a massive land of Betty’s favorite flowers and plants - it was Jughead’s surprise. But just because they love each other doesn’t mean they can’t have their secrets. The two of them actually had jobs of their own that the other didn’t know about.

Betty chose to be a private investigator who always keeps her identity with a black wig on, accompanied by a grey masquerade mask while working for the FBI in catching New York’s most heinous criminals, her passion for mystery and justice driving her head on. On the other hand, Jughead Jones busied himself in stealing from other thieves, also with a hidden face - but no one knew his intentions were for the best.

When the agency heard about this so called ‘Serpent of the Night’, they send in Betty to kill him by giving her monstrous false files related to the man, making her more determined to finish the job.

But what if one night, their covers are removed, guns are pointed and hard decisions are made?

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Jughead: *Grumbling after a serpent meeting*

Betty: Aw, you are so sweet and cute and precious.


Betty: :3 So cute.

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Betty: *Is eating chocolate covered strawberries*

Jughead: *Swoops down and kisses her*

Betty: *Eats another*

Jughead: *Kisses her again, almost turning it into a make out*

Betty: *Pushes him away slightly* You want one?

Jughead: No. It’s better this way. *Pulls her in for another kiss*

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Betty: *Gets a card from Jughead*

Card: Will you be my valentine?

Betty: Aw *Flips it around*

Card: That was a rhetorical question. You don’t have a choice - we’re married!! I have the ring to prove it!

Betty: … aW!!

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Jughead: Betts…

Betty: Jug, I’m trying to sleep.

Jughead: Betts…

Betty: *Is still sleeping* Whaaat?

Jughead: Do fish feel wet all the time?

Betty: Go to sleep!


~ 3 Seconds Later ~

Betty: *Jolts awake* Oh my god, do they?!

Jughead: I know!!

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Thinking about how the Riverdale version of Jughead was once pulled into a battle between parallel universe versions of himself and an army of time police by the original Archie Comics Jughead from the 40s and then had his memory of these events erased. Every time you’re watching that little emo dude do his thing, just know that that canonically happened to him.

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