#jun au | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

papermatisse · 1 year

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False Pretenses || W.JH

♗ pairing: merchant!wen junhui x f!reader

♗ genre: angst, fluff, regency

♗ word count: 19.5k

♗ warnings: none (period piece, historical anecdotes)

♗ synopsis: Wen Junhui was the epitome of perfection. Tall, handsome, intelligent, kind, a gentleman, and the list goes on for miles on end. So it is only expected that this man of everyone's dreams was regrettably taken already, right? Betrothed to another, and so condemned from being pursued by any other? But what's to happen if he himself begins the pursuit with another?

♗ (a/n): lol surprise the reason I rewrote my regency beomgyu fic was bc I was reminded of it whilst writing this one lmao.

funny story: this was supposed to be 8k words lmao. but then I kept writing and here we are jskfjsjf. idk how or why but yeh I wrote. please enjoy!

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The symphony of strings filled the atmosphere with their delicate and transcendent melodies. Candle lit chandeliers dangled above the attendees beneath them, the lot waltzing together as one fluid mass. Plethora of shades and hues meshed together, blurring like a Monet to form this masterpiece of motion. Mirrors lined the walls, only adding to the grandiose image before her with its decadent lights and colors. Gold trimmings adorned the area they resided in, intricate carvings swirling and writhing together like vines as they stretched up to the ceiling above, revealing this scene of the heavens opened to gaze down upon the people basking in all of the splendor and extravagance of the scene.

A sight most would envy her for, a rarity amongst others yet something so incredibly common and recurrent in her life. The music was nice, yet felt tedious after some time. The people dancing, once a spectacle so wondrous to her as a child now a bore to gaze upon. Even the venue they resided in, a tribute to the baroque era and all of its grandeur, was yet another tacky and bothersome factor upon her life.

Perhaps it was because she had been trapped in this room, standing against the wall for the past hour or so, that she was filled with such spite. Or perhaps it was merely because life was beginning to feel repetitive and empty in its whole. Perhaps she was merely tired at the moment and it would all pass after a good night's rest.

Whatever may be the case, she desperately wanted out. Yet she remained rooted where she was, because her father was elsewhere speaking with the other gentleman at the party, her mother was prancing about socializing with every living thing she could find, and her brother was heavens knows where.

Her cold exterior was enough to ward off any prospective partners seeking a dance with her, and her unladylike stance against the wall had frightened any women from mingling with her. All she had to do was wait and she'd soon return to the comfort of her home.

"(y/n), dear!" Her mother's frantic shouts carried above the orchestra's next piece, drawing some onlookers who spared her a moment's glance before continuing with their own endeavors. "(y/n), my lovely (y/n)."

"Mother, what is it?" She huffed out as her mother had finally reached her, already tugging the girl into a standing position.

"There is a fine gentleman speaking to your brother right this moment." She rambled on as her hands darted to and fro, fixing her hair, adjusting her dress, smudging away any imperfections in her makeup. "Tall, young, handsome, and perfect for my beautiful daughter."

"And his name?" (y/n) raised a brow at the daft woman before her, who merely smoothed away the wrinkles in her daughter's irate expression before glancing back in the supposed direction of said man.

"That's for you to find out on your own once you go over and talk to him." Her mother's hands grasped at her shoulders, attempting to tug her away from the safety and comfort of her corner, but before she could make it even a foot away from her spot, (y/n) raised a hand to her mouth. With one exhale, a loud whistle expelled from her, briefly garnering the attention of passersby who glared her way for a second before returning to their party. The attention span of the average noble will never cease to amaze her.

Moments later, as her mother berated her for her indecent act in public, her brother came strolling over.

"You called?"

"Joshua, mother would like to know who your new acquaintance is."

"I just want to know if he's single or not." She sighed, seeing how she wasn't getting anywhere with her children's mannerisms. Joshua chuckled, rolling his eyes at the usual dilemma of his mother playing matchmaker for the two—an occurrence the two siblings were far too accustomed with.

"His name is Wen Junhui. He's a merchant who's just recently settled here in town for the time being. We've been discussing matters of supplies for father's business, and–"

"Oh, a merchant, (y/n), how splendid!" Her mother whispered enthusiastically.

"–he has a betrothed awaiting him back home." Joshua finished, biting back a grin as his mother's shoulders immediately slackened in defeat. (y/n) nodded with a smile, thanking her brother before he left to return to Mr. Wen.

"Don't be too saddened, mother." (y/n) began. "There's plenty of fish in the sea. I'm sure with your resilience, the next one will surely be the right one." She patted her back mockingly, earning a vexed scoff from her mother who grumbled to herself indignantly. (y/n) could only hear some utterances regarding her mother only wanting the best for her daughter, as well as silent curses for birthing problem children.

The tendency of her mother to scour the premises for prospective marriage partners was a habit that (y/n) had unfortunately gotten used to. Perhaps yet another reason to loathe parties, as it merely exists as another breeding ground of men (y/n) could potentially marry. Wen Junhui was yet another victim of mother's unabashed ogling, and yet another man on the ever growing list of disappointments in the marriage spectrum.

And so she was led to believe that the ordeal was done and over with, as were most of these marital occurrences that so frequently disrupted the stability of her life. That was until the day after said ball came to greet her, or more specifically a certain Wen Junhui strolling into her family's parlor in all of his elegant glory.

As described by her mother, he was quite the fair gentleman. Tall with broad shoulders and a slim waist, long legs that seemed to extend for days. His hair was light and blonde, sort of similar to the dusty yellow shade of one of the gowns tucked away in the back of her armoire. His features matched the rest of him, that being unrivaled beauty to any man she's ever seen. And to make matters worse, his manners were impeccable, already having her mother swooning by the first minute of his entry as he introduced himself to her.

"And over here we have the last of the family, my sister (y/n)." Joshua led the man over to where she rested.

"My lady, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." He bowed his head whilst extending his hand towards her, to which she slipped her own gloved one into his as response. He leant down further, pressing his lips against her knuckles momentarily before slowly standing to full height once more.

Though still considered proper etiquette, it was a rarity in their day to greet someone as such. So whilst her mother and father simply continued on with familiarizing themselves with their guest, (y/n) had quickly tucked her hand atop her lap once more, turning her head away in embarrassment at the action. She could feel the warmth of his touch still penetrating through the cloth of her gloves, sending tingles up her arm. Such an old fashioned, traditional practice that she herself was well aware of, yet it was the act of a handsome man performing such a deed that sent this delightful warmth coursing through her veins.

"Mr. Wen, please take a seat anywhere you'd like." (y/n)'s father insisted, gesturing to the many availabilities they had scattered about the room. Her brother seated himself in the chair to her right, and instead of taking the seat beside him, Junhui had planted himself at the other end of the chaise lounge chair that (y/n) was situated on. And like nothing ever happened, the lot continued their discussion, leaving (y/n) to simply deal with her own internal panic.

'He's married, he's married,' she repeated to herself in her head, a mantra which was meant to have quelled some of the nerves alight in her body, yet it had done little of the sort. Junhui's presence alone seemed to completely affect her in such a way that she had little to no knowledge on what else to do.

As if through the blessing of sibling telepathy, Joshua leant closer to (y/n) as Junhui regaled some traveling tale to their parents.

"Is everything alright?" He asked. She nodded, leaning closer to him to continue their silent conversation.

"Yes, though I feel slightly overheated and tired." He nodded, backing away and waiting for the next opportune moment before joining the discussion.

"My apologies for interrupting, but (y/n) isn't feeling too well, may I escort her to her room for the time being?"

"Why, of course," their father insisted. "Send a maid for some water, as well."

"Yes, father."

He helped his sister up, guiding her to the entry of the parlor. Before they could make their exit, however, (y/n) found herself turning to face Junhui once more, his eyes already trained on her as if having never left in the first place.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Wen."

"The pleasure is all mine, my lady."

"I apologize for having to cut our meeting so abruptly."

"No need for apologies. Please feel well soon."

She offered one last smile before allowing Joshua to guide her up to her room, summoning a maid for some water before retreating back downstairs. Through the thin walls of their estate, she could hear the resounding echoes of the company downstairs, more distinctly that of Junhui's voice carrying through the air and into her room. This low timbre, comforting and mesmerizing even through the obscured resonance from where she lay. It had that same warmth from before blooming in her chest, seeping into her body with this tranquil feeling alongside it.

A smile soon made its way unto her face, yet she chose to ignore it for the time being, burying herself further into her pillow to disregard the incessant flutter in her stomach.

"(y/n), are you okay today?" Juliet peered over from where she walked alongside the girl, pouting when she had blinked in confusion, as if having not listened to a word she was saying at all. "You're usually so attentive. I've already said about a dozen things that would have had you cackling in the most unladylike of ways, yet you haven't spared me anything more than a hum of acknowledgement. And even that feels generous to mention since I do not even think you actually are acknowledging me."

"I'm sorry, Juliet." She sighed, stopping in the middle of the trail they walked. Her friend solemnly gazed upon her, taking pity on the person who is usually so attentive and thorough.

"May I ask what has you so distracted on our outing?"

"Well," (y/n) nervously bit her lip, eyes darting about as if making sure no one were around to hear her admit her shame aloud. "There's this boy."

"A boy?" Juliet gasped, rushing towards (y/n) until she was face to face with her, barely any space between the two as she gaped in awe. "A boy has captured your attention? I didn't even think that was possible. You're usually so reserved no matter the person you talk to. Who could be so extraordinary enough to have won over your intrigue?"

"Well, that's the thing, you see." (y/n) brought her hand up, shielding her mouth as she leant into her friend's ear. "The man who I can't stop thinking about is married."

Juliet backed away, eyes blown wide from shock, yet an amused smirk settling in place.

"You have such an interesting set of standards. Why is it that the one thing you have ever desired is something not attainable?" (y/n) rolled her eyes, continuing with their walk and leaving Juliet to follow close behind. "Is it the fact that he truly is something you're not allowed to have? Like an impudent child who sets their eye on the most expensive of toys? Or perhaps it's the satisfaction you'll receive from having snatched away another person's treasure, like a seafaring pirate."

"Please, you're beginning to vex me with your nonsensical deliberation."

"Why, you can't blame me for being curious. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to tease the almighty lady of the Hong household." Juliet finally reached (y/n)'s side, linking her arm with hers as they continued on. "Or the lady of the Hong house currently, should I say?"

"Still harboring that crush on my brother, lady Juliet?" (y/n) rolled her eyes with a grin as her friend let out a childish squeal.

"Oh, you can't hold it against me. Joshua is the most handsome man I've ever seen in my life. And he's so polite and warmhearted and everything a girl can dream of." The girl sighed, tilting her head to rest on (y/n)'s shoulder. "I'll marry him one day, I swear upon it. And we can then be sisters. Isn't that exciting?"

(y/n) hummed in thought, resting her head against Juliet's as she faux considered for a second more.

"Perhaps it could be fun to have a sister such as yourself."

"You're such a coy thing." (y/n) laughed when she felt an elbow nudge into her side, earning a chuckle from the other girl in response.

The trail stretched on for a while more, the girls whispering and giggling in secrecy as they wasted away their day together.

For the past few days, Junhui had been all (y/n) could think about. Like a fresh wound, ever so slowly healing with its immediate pain and such, yet remaining even as the days stretched on; an irreversible scar meant to forever mar her skin. At least until she grows accustomed to the constant, that being the fact that Junhui truly does reside in her mind at all times, and she is to just grow used to this new presence.

She had begun presuming that her thoughts were manifesting themselves into some sort of self deluded hallucination when at one point, she saw a head of light blonde hair some distance away. Perhaps this withdrawal was assuming itself with consequences, such as imagining the man when he is nowhere in sight. Though that idea soon proved false when a head of black hair turned around, waving his hand upon spotting his sister.

"(y/n), oh heavens, it's Joshua." Juliet muttered, standing upright and separating herself from the girl. "Who is that beside him? Have I lost the battle in winning Joshua's affections?"

"No. You haven't." (y/n) responded, eyes not straying from said man as the two made their way towards them.

"How are you so sure?" Juliet asked, waving back to Joshua when she saw (y/n) frozen in place.

"Because Joshua's current company is already a married man."

It took only a second for Juliet to put the pieces together, head turning to stare at (y/n) in shock. Though she quickly schooled her expression once more when the boys had finally met with them.

"Good afternoon, ladies." Joshua began, bowing his head in acknowledgement to them. Juliet already had her hand extended before Joshua could offer his own, earning a chuckle out of him as he briefly held hers in greeting. "What brings you two all the way out here? I thought you said you'd be having a picnic with Juliet. I presume that would entail some sort of feast at her estate."

"We wanted to take a walk beforehand." (y/n) answered him, eyes glancing to Junhui every so often, only to find him staring back at her unabashedly. The attention flustered her greatly, and she found herself nervously opening up her parasol which had been previously dangling by her wrist. She hoped the contraption would at least shield her expression somewhat from the man's gaze, as she found it hard to hide how much he affected her at this point.

"Ah, I see." Joshua nodded in understanding. "We came to discuss some business matters with Juliet's father." (y/n) smiled at this, a subtle gesture of showing familiarity when not using proper titles towards people. Something the other two most likely didn't pick up on, but (y/n) knew her brother well. It was his way of showing his closeness to Juliet's family—his way of showing his closeness to Juliet. "Though we've arrived earlier than intended. I do enjoy being ahead of schedule, but it seems too early to be acceptable for our intended rendezvous, unfortunately."

"Then perhaps would you care to join us for our picnic?" Juliet asked, eyes brimming with anticipation. "For the time being, that is."

"Thank you for the invitation, Lady Juliet. We'd be delighted to accompany you two, if you'll have us."

"We'd be nothing short of honored to have you join us. Wouldn't you agree, (y/n)?" Juliet turned towards her friend, hopeful smile unwavering as she awaited her answer.

Truthfully so, (y/n) herself was conflicted.

On the one hand, there was the budding romance between her closest friend and her own brother. It was a relationship that felt both inevitable and yet so very impossible, purely for how oblivious the two were to one another's very real emotions for the other. Something so attainable, yet seemingly exhaustive in their efforts. A slight push in the right direction couldn't hurt anyone, (y/n) supposed.

Yet there was also the one concerning factor in the midst of all this; that being (y/n)'s own sprouting affections for a married man.

There really was no alternative to this. She could either stamp out her feelings entirely, or she could ignore them. Either way, she mustn't act upon them, as just the image of his doting wife awaiting her lover's return seemed to ground (y/n) into reality, forcing her to stray from those daydreams that seemed to occupy her consciousness on the daily.

Yet it felt so very uncomfortable to pursue that latter option. To simply push aside one's feelings as such felt so inhumane. It was upsetting how a simple infatuation could feel like such a taboo thing. But with everything considered, at this point it truly was.

The wise thing would be to reject the offer. Insist that the picnic be kept between the two friends whilst the boys head over to the business meeting. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, so Juliet and Joshua would fair well. And it would allow her space from Junhui to sort out those pesky emotions that seemed to continuously provoke her. In this case, distance making the heart grow weaker. The juxtaposition made sense in her head for now, at the least.

She looked up at the company before her, taking in the expectant expressions of her brother and her friend. And then she looked to Junhui.

His eyes were so beautiful, just like the rest of him. Round with this innocent glint in them, merely observing her as he would a performance. Yet there was this indescribable quality deep in his gaze, reeling her into their warm depths whether she wanted to or not. Drowning in this dark, unending sea of ember. Perhaps that's what led her to subtly nod her head, locked in this stare down with Junhui, too preoccupied to see the pitifully concealed excitement of the two others.

"Lady Juliet, may I be your escort this afternoon?" Joshua held out his arm, to which Juliet gladly accepted, the two already making their way down the path the girls had just come from.

"My lady," (y/n) blinked away her stupor to see Junhui approaching her, lips tugged into this effortlessly attractive smile. He offered his arm to her, head tilting as his gaze softened. "May I escort you to our eating arrangements?"

"You may," She responded, tucking her free hand into the crook of his arm, her other still nervously gripping the parasol resting over her shoulder.

She hadn't been in close proximity to Junhui before, merely a brief distance away from one another during his prior visit to her abode. She was reminded of his gentle kiss on her hand, as well as the incredible display of power he held over her as she couldn't stop thinking of him since. Considering their former encounter together lasted what felt like no more than five minutes, she felt this current situation was no good for her feeble heart.

"I apologize if my question is rather frank, but Joshua and Juliet… They are courting one another?" (y/n) snorted at this before immediately gasping and covering her mouth, parasol balanced precariously between her arm and her bodice. She looked up at Junhui with a mortified expression, though this only caused him to also burst into laughter, this delightful titter that had his eyes crinkling from how wide his smile stretched. Soon, she herself bubbled into laughter, having to lean on the man beside her for support.

"Heavens, I apologize for that," She spoke between chuckles. "I did not intend to release such a discourteous sound before you."

"No, I quite enjoyed it, my lady. I hope I can hear more of it from you." Her gaze dropped to the path below them, hoping to conceal her perturbed facade from Junhui at his implication of there being more joyous moments like this between the two. Perhaps she was overthinking it. Perhaps he meant nothing more than hoping she continues feeling happy as such.

Though the thought still felt nice to explore. Of simpler times spent beside him, spending days such as this one walking together. He'd whisper sweet nothings in her ear, his breath tickling the thin skin of such an intimate area and spiraling her into another set of giggles for only him to hear. And he'd gladly accept her jovial antics with a heart full of unadulterated love for her and her alone.

What a silly fantasy. One she'd have to stow away for later in her delusional daydreams of the man.

"To answer your question, they have yet to officially court one another." They watched as the duo they spoke of strolled peacefully together, a picturesque romantic scene of two lovers enjoying themselves on such a sunny afternoon. It brought a smile to (y/n)'s face. "Though I presume it won't be long before it truly is official. They are meant to be, you see."

"I do. Indeed I agree with you, my lady." Junhui's voice had lowered, so quiet that only (y/n) could possibly hear him, creating this atmosphere of sorts where only they resided. "And on that note, wouldn't it be nice to perhaps speed up the process some."

"What do you have in mind, Mr. Wen?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Should I not?" Junhui chuckled at this, a deep rumble in his chest that (y/n) could feel on her arm pressed against his torso.

"My lady, I hold nothing but good intentions."

He slowed their pace some. It was barely detectable, though she was acutely aware of his actions at the moment, curious as to what he had in mind. Soon enough, Joshua and Juliet grew more faint in the distance, carrying on their conversation without having noticed the other two members of the party had severely lagged behind.

"As suspected." Junhui noted, turning his gaze back down to (y/n). "Now they can enjoy their picnic on their own."

"You are a schemeful man, Mr. Wen." (y/n) noted, though she couldn't even finish her sentence without a smile on her face.

"So I've been told before. Come, guide me around Lady Juliet's estate for the time being."

(y/n) found herself willingly doing just so, redirecting him off the main path and deeper into the scenery circling the manor. Lavish greenery surrounded them, a viridescent landscape which seemed to stretch on for miles. At some point, she had given up her parasol, closing it so to feel the warmth of the sun once more. Her heels dug into the earth with every step, giving her a clumsy gait as she ambled through the residence, though she didn't mind one bit. Not when Junhui was there, balancing her with a gentle hand along her back and a thunderous laugh to coincide with it.

At some point, she found the garden maze. It was quaint, serving more as a divider than any sort of complex labyrinth. It's common knowledge to her, yet should have been a cautionary sight for Junhui, yet he seemed to dive in just as eagerly as she, as if having put all of his faith into her as their navigator.

"You know, my mother would not approve of you right now." (y/n) spoke, allowing him to trail behind as she navigated through the hedges.

"I find that hard to believe." Junhui hummed in an amused tone. "I hear she's rather smitten with me." His presence suddenly grew nearer until he was only just behind her, mouth lowered to her ear. In a low voice, more breathy than anything, he continued. "Wants me to be her son-in-law."

(y/n) felt warmth surging to her face, scuttling forward quickly as she waved him off of her, earning more arrogant laughs from the man.

"Perhaps you're right. I presume Joshua and you have been talking matters outside of business?"

"A natural occurrence between friends, yes."

"Though I don't say this in regards to your character itself. You are undoubtedly a gentleman suitable for any mother-in-law."

"You flatter me, my lady."

"However," she started, glancing behind her to where Junhui watched her closely, soft gaze trained on her as (y/n) came to a halt. "Have you forgotten one of the cardinal rules of etiquette?"

"And pray tell what that could be?"

"A lady and a man should never be left alone in the same room?"

It was a simple jeer towards him. Both a means of teasing the supposed gentleman arc he carried, though also a way to test the waters. To take a gander into the mechanics behind his thought process. Catch him in a moment of weakness as he tried to explain why a married man was willingly, and in her honest opinion seemingly ambitious, to be left alone with someone like herself.

She had expected perhaps a flush to cross his features, shaky pupils attempting to find an answer somewhere in the depth of the brush they were plunged in, perhaps even a stumble in his cadence as he tried to explain himself and his intentions, yet she received nothing of the sort.

Junhui grinned, biting his lip to conceal the act, though not fully committed to such a deed. He lazily stepped closer until he stood before her once more, perhaps becoming far too comfortable in her personal space, making himself a home in the metaphorical bubble designated for her and her alone.

"Of course, you are correct, as always, my lady." He started, eyes slowly straying from her own to take in the rest of her features at the proximity they stood in. "Yet you seem to have forgotten one minor detail in such a rule." Her head tilted in curiosity, not knowing exactly where he was going with the conversation. He straightened his posture and gestured grandly about the area, as if the answer was somewhere in the air. "A man and woman should never be left alone unless they are in motion. And if I recall, we are indeed in motion as of right now."

She slapped a hand over her mouth as laughter ensued afterwards, her eyes falling shut at the sheer audacity of the man before her. Never before had she met a man with such gall. A man who strayed so far from the stereotypical gentleman trope yet at the same time clung to such an image. Most men around her showed some form of fear or arrogance, yet Junhui showed none of the above.

His arrogance wasn't rude or disrespectful, but more humorous and casual. The only fear he seemed to display in front of her was in regards to herself, the wary glint in his eye that seemed to mistakenly shine through his facade as she left prematurely upon their first meeting.

He was quick witted and audacious, yet unbearably considerate to those around him. And these were only mere observations upon first impressions within their ten minutes of alone time thus far.

"Ah, there's that lovely sound I've been yearning to hear for a second time." His hand rose to her face, brushing back a hair that had fallen from its place as her giggles had diluted some. "My lady, you should be more liberal with such glee. It looks absolutely splendid on you. I'd love to see it more often."

"I'll only show it when you've earned it." She remarked, turning around and continuing down the maze so as to hide the smile that still etched itself in her expression.

At the end of the brief maze, the hedges lowered in stature until they were merely shrubs, allowing them to look past what they once obscured from their sight. A garden with white stone paths, flowers littering the grounds in unorganized patterns. The speckles of color surrounded the marble decorations populating the scenery. A statue of a lady, the vines of the plants licking at her podium as they accepted her as one of their own. Fountains with cherubs pouring out of a pitcher, a seemingly endless supply of water that trickled down into the base of the structure, filling the air with the hypnotic murmurs of water. Dragonflies and butterflies flitted to and fro, flying past the two spectators as they pursued their next floral conquest.

And past the grandeur of the seemly garden was a river. It was narrow and shallow, allowing a person to safely wade in its waters without even getting their hair wet. (y/n) and Juliet would spend far too much time playing there when they were younger to the point that (y/n) could still remember the sensation of the cool stream numbing her skin, the feeling of the smooth rocks beneath her feet, even the exact spot where a root had plunged out of the ground and tripped Juliet, causing her to plunge her entire body into the water.

This entire place brought back fond memories, warming her heart and reminding her of simpler times. It was a place that was near sacred to her and her friend. So why did she so willingly bring Junhui here? He was practically a stranger, not a person deserving of such a nostalgic haven to her, yet she slid her hand back into the crook of his arm so easily and allowed him to guide her through the area.

It was quiet between them, this peaceful tranquility that soothed away the tensions in her heart. As if momentarily in this instance, in this little pocket of heaven away from the eyes of the world, everything was okay. That warm feeling in her chest, the way her heart beat so apparently, the undeniable comfort that came with being so close to Junhui. None of it was shameful.

She didn't flinch as his free hand rested on top of her own holding him, thumb softly brushing over her gloved fingers. Her head rested against his side, lips tugging up at the corners of her mouth as she embraced whatever fleeting contentment she could derive before the moment would eventually be revoked from her. Before she'd have to settle back into reality and accept that Junhui is not someone she should be doing any of this with.

She shouldn't be falling victim to her own fantasies, succumbing to the temptations conjured by her own psyche, betrayed by her own being as she fell for a man she was not allowed to pursue. A cruel and unfair jest on the universe's part, and one she'll forever hold a grudge against. Offering such a perfect man to her like a carrot on a stick which she'll never capture, only existing to desperately chase after.

And just like that, the day seemed to pass by as if in mere seconds, this warm orange glow settling in the sky as the sun dipped beyond the horizon. The once crystal blue river was now like molten honey as the day waned, and the only indicator she had was Junhui finally speaking.

"It seems it's gotten rather late, my lady." Surveying her surroundings, (y/n) nodded, shocked by how obvious the change had been and she hadn't been made aware at all. "Allow me to escort you home."

She held no form of protest, allowing Junhui to retrace their route and head to the carriage he and Joshua had arrived in.

"Would it not be rude to abandon Joshua here?" (y/n) asked, climbing into the body of the coach with the assistance of Junhui's hand in hers.

"We're merely granting him a viable excuse to spend even more of his time with Juliet. I'm failing to see the issue here."

Junhui was such pleasant company, silly in his mannerisms yet able to hold intelligent conversation for long periods of time. (y/n) was completely enamored by his intellect, a side she knew had to have existed with his merchant background, yet something she had failed to truly anticipate the extent of such information as he began discussing his business matters with her.

"You are well versed in this subject, my lady." He noted with a curious tilt of his head and a fond smile.

"Should I not be?" (y/n) riposted, a coy grin slipping past her facade as Junhui hummed in amusement.

"On the contrary, I find it to be refreshing." (y/n) met Junhui's genuine gaze, his intimidatingly honest eyes seemingly concentrated on (y/n) and (y/n) alone. "Many ladies are condemned from learning such proceedings. It's nice to share such discussions with someone outside of these matters; gain a perspective with no bias."

"I see." She tore her stare from him, instead opting to admire the passing surroundings as they neared her family's estate. The world was slowly growing darker, though there was just enough orange in the sky to make out minor details and simple silhouettes of the trees and buildings which they encountered. "Well as you've said, women are often condemned from learning such things. My parents have never outright forbade me from pursuing such knowledge, but I am keenly aware of the connotations of our day and age. However, I feel the library is just vague enough of a gray area that I can escape the gender restraints subjected unto us."

"So you've your library to thank for such intel?"

"Indeed. A grand library with shelves stretching to the ceiling, completely stocked with every variety of book. And what else is a lady to do in her spare time than to waste away her life reading everything she can get her hands on." Junhui smiled at this, teeth on display and his eyes crinkling as he listened to her speak.

"I'd ought to visit such a place one day." He inquired, voice lowering in volume as if sharing a secret with her. A secret of a married man insinuating a second rendezvous with a young lady he should not be affiliated with. (y/n) cleared her throat, fiddling with the embroidery of her gown as she attempted to bypass his lax mannerisms in speech.

"You must. I'm sure Joshua would be delighted to give you a tour of our home upon your next visit." The words felt as awkward as they sounded, her subtleties flying out the window as the day waned. She dare not look at Junhui for fear of his expression revealing his truth. Of yet another factor to add onto her already ever growing list of reasons to question her reality and everything she had grown to know. Though even with her futile attempts at avoiding his honest expression, she failed to take into account his equally honest intonation he used in every word he spoke.

"I'm sure he would, ever the gentleman he is." Junhui began, voice undeterred by her initial evasion. "Though I'd like someone with proven familiarity to show me about the library, wouldn't you agree? Someone who has shown their validity in this realm to me?"

Finally she met his gaze once more, flustered by how direct he has always been. And he hadn't an ounce of shame from his words, that same smile stretched across his face as if he hadn't a care in the world. As if asking his business associate's sister for a personal tour of their home was a matter that came so often and so common that there was no need for courtesies to be regarded.

But this was not what the world was like.

A man and a lady should always bear some decency in their actions. Unless they are courting one another, they should not be left in the same vicinity alone. A married man should not pursue a lady outside his matrimony in such a way that it can be mistaken for adultery. The two of them have delved into dangerous waters. They've foregone the initial area of concern and have instead been thriving in this forbidden area that they should have never passed in either of their states. And strangely enough, (y/n) felt to be the most victimized in the situation.

The misogynistic tendencies of news outlets to paint the mistress as the villain who broke a perfectly stable marriage, yet here she is thrust into the role of potential mistress with no means of escape. Every fiber of her being cried to run away, leave everything behind, abandon Junhui where he stood because he was no different from a devil tempting her in malicious ways and luring her into a sinful rapture.

Yet this idiotic part of her yearned for him. Desperately sought out his attention in any form he'd grant her. She could still feel the warmth of his body against hers when they had walked in the garden. She could hear his laugh playing repeatedly in her head, his voice serenading her as she thought about everything he's ever said to her. He was so kind and witty and funny. Everything a girl could dream of. And she soon understood the mistress in all of those articles, because she truly was on the brink of becoming one herself.

The carriage stopping was like a godsend, an answer to her prayers as she all but scrambled out, hopping down at a mind boggling speed that had Junhui leaping out of his seat to rescue her had she fallen. But instead, she merely brushed off her dress and turned back to Junhui, staring in awe at her after her sudden burst of movement.

"Thank you for today, Mr. Wen. I truly enjoyed our little walk and I appreciate what you've done in regards to my brother and my best friend's prospective marriage. I'd love to hear about how it's gone once my brother comes home, but you really must return to the estate, as I'm sure your business meeting is soon to start. Thank you again." Her words came out rushed and jumbled, sentences threading together with barely a moment's breath spared. Before Junhui could even respond, she was rushing into her home and up the stairs before anyone could question her and see how absolutely perturbed she had become in the past hour or so because of Mr. Wen Junhui.

When she had said she'd love to hear how the matters regarding the soon-to-be couple had gone once Joshua returns, she had intended it to be a sign to Junhui that rather than he tell her himself, her brother instead tells her, thereby cutting off any necessity for the two to ever speak again.

Yet Junhui in his spectacular ways of skirting around the issues of formalities and such had taken it upon himself to skew her words to his benefit.

His first letter had come quite literally the next day when her brother had gotten back, Joshua himself handing it to her before going off to do whatever he does in the day. It was a simple envelope, her name written in swirled ink at the front to show who its intended reader was meant to be. A red wax seal concealed its contents; a simple design of a cat pressed into the seal. From the looks of it alone, it seemed to be devoid of any nefarious purposes. Love letters tend to be doused in perfumes, blue seals with rose and heart imprints. Yet this one seems to lack any sense of personal touch, aside from the cat seal, which (y/n) could only assume was a mere preference on Junhui's part.

My lady,

I hope this letter gets to you swiftly. As swiftly as it takes Joshua to arrive home, as you had made clear to me.

As intended, the two seem to be smitten with one another. Joshua had almost forgotten his entire purpose for arriving at the manor had I not returned after our carriage ride. They seem closer than they originally were, and I believe we've achieved our goal! Though I expect nothing less from such a savvy and clever lady such as yourself. You truly must show me those business books of yours so I may learn from them as you've done.

Jun

Upon reading the first part of the letter, (y/n) couldn't help but to roll her eyes at Junhui's sarcasm, though slowly but surely, she ended the letter with a smile that she couldn't contain. And she made sure to note her distaste for such a letter in her reply, biting back her giggles as she wrote about how discourteous Junhui was and how he lacked in any sort of manners.

With a circular red wax seal, she handed the envelope to Joshua, asking him to deliver it to Junhui whenever he was able to. And what started out as a simple letter with a response became a full fledged exchange of letters on the daily, and perhaps the highlight of (y/n)'s day whenever Joshua would return home.

Junhui was as funny in writing as he was in person, chiding her for using a golden seal once as if he were a lady she was exchanging letters with. Though he forgave her once she changed from their usual formal red seal to a green one—an indicator of friendly relations between the two correspondents.

He also rather obviously insisted she begin referring to him as Jun, as indecent as it were. From his first letter merely ending with the name, 'Jun' slowly grew more and more apparent, from growing in size to becoming bolder compared to the other words to even taking up the entire bottom portion of the page once.

And (y/n) couldn't help but continue the exchange, as wrong as she knew it was. She reasoned it under two friends merely talking to one another, opting to forget the circumstances between them and instead revel in whatever form of Junhui her conscience would allow her to accept.

And for the most part, as stated, it truly was friendly relations. He'd ask what she'd done that day, discuss things he'd seen since his prior letter, even send doodles and newspaper clippings to her. The times he'd seemingly grow more coquettish were times she'd chastise him almost immediately, before then continuing on with where they left off. And it seemed she'd have to do the same thing now, as Junhui supposedly never learned from her admonishments.

"(y/n), dinner is being served." The family's maid announced from beyond the door.

"I'm on my way." Even though she responded, she could sense the woman still lingering in her spot.

"The madam also insists you make yourself presentable."

"For what purpose? Not like we have a guest over." Silence. (y/n) raised her brow, pushing back from her writing desk to finally open the door. The maid still stood there, offering an apologetic smile. "Who is here?"

"Supposedly a prospective marriage partner your mother has been eyeing for you."

(y/n) nodded at this, thanking and dismissing the woman before closing the door. Back in the sanctity of her room, she groaned aloud, begrudgingly making her way to her armoire.

Although (y/n) has been distracted with her internal battle revolving around Wen Junhui, her mother has seemingly long forgotten the disappointment of the failed courtship and has once more prowled for yet another eligible bachelor she could lure home in hopes of having her daughter wed. It was a common occurrence, though nevertheless uncomfortable every time she had to endure it.

Her eyes landed upon that same dusty yellow dress that Junhui's hair had reminded her of when they first met. It brought a smile to her face, at first gentle in nostalgia and remembrance, though then shifted into a sly smirk, opting to remove the gown from its hanger as her own personal gag. To wear a dress that reminds her of another whilst she rejects whoever resides downstairs.

Perhaps through spite alone, her energy came bounding forth when she made her way downstairs, excited to send home yet another man, until she entered the parlor and came face to face with none other than that same head of yellow that inspired her current look.

Junhui turned his head up to her, his grin stretching from ear to ear once she had come into view.

"My lady," he had stood up from his place, reaching for her gloved hand to place yet another kiss onto her knuckles. "You look as lovely as you did the day we met. Your beauty seems to be unwavering."

"Mr. Wen," (y/n) bowed her head, ignoring the rapid warmth seizing at her heart from where Junhui still held her hand in his. "It's a pleasure to meet you again."

"Mr. Wen? Have we not moved on from such formalities at this point in time?" Her eyes widened at his statement, glancing around in hopes that her mother wasn't around to hear of such nonsense. Though luckily it seemed the only other person in the room at this moment was Joshua, who laughed at his sister's reaction.

"Junhui, stop tormenting (y/n), you know how she is when it comes to holding proper etiquette."

This seemed to silence the imp of a man, though it hadn't stopped the mischievous glint in his eye as he continued to stare at her. Or more specifically, her dress, attempting to absorb as much as he could without blatantly gawking at her. Though still, it was enough to have her dismissing herself from the two boys, scurrying away to the kitchen where her mother was currently discussing meal plans with the chef.

"Mother," (y/n) muttered, shuffling to a closer proximity to her parent to keep her voice low, lest there be stray ears listening about.

"Oh, my dear, you look absolutely lovely." Her mother gushed, nodding to the chef one last time in confirmation before closing the distance between her and her daughter.

"I look this way because you urged me to dress as such."

"Yes, Mr. Wen is just in the other room. Go greet him, I'm sure he'd feel flattered to have such a pretty hostess."

"Mother, might I remind you that Mr. Wen is indeed a married man. Not only is he a married man, but you as well are a married woman. I suggest you cease with your blasted fawning before you manage to upset someone." Her mother sighed, eyes shifting up to the ceiling in consideration at the words spoken.

"I understand where you're coming from. However, he has not directly told me such. So I'd like to continue this potential courtship between you two until he says otherwise." (y/n) clenched her jaw. Not in anger at her mother's words, though rather also considering what she had just said.

It's true that Joshua is a reliable source, as he is their very own son and brother, but Junhui doesn't know Joshua told them. Her mother's reasons, though highly improbable and immature as they are, made some sense in the grand scheme of things, and (y/n) had nothing more to say but to nod at her mother and scamper out of the kitchen.

Luckily, the boys remained as they were in the parlor, laughing freely at whatever was being exchanged between the two. Junhui's voice always carried itself throughout the house, drifting in the air easily and reaching (y/n) where she stood. She wanted to go back in. She had grown more accustomed to Junhui through their letters, though meeting him again in person felt like an entirely different circumstance she wasn't fully prepared for.

Her mother's words remained in her head, the arrogance reminding her of the sole reason her and Junhui first exchanged letters. How the two parties both seemed to ignore implications in words and actions and instead pursued their own endeavors through sheer intended miscommunication. It was funny in a way, though still terribly irritating, especially when she sat at the table and realized how swimmingly the lot got along together.

Banter flowed easily, her mother and Junhui bonding well as they ate. Father was much more reserved, though still seemed rather taken with their guest. Joshua equally so, though as his friend, it was a given that he'd be invested in whatever Jun had to say.

And to (y/n), it felt like the obvious was just lingering in the air, dangling precariously above them all like the sword of Damocles. All it took was a mere mention of marriage for that thread to snap, to have the sword barreling down into mother's dreams of having Jun join the family through marital relations with (y/n). Yet no one dare mention it.

A topic her mother was so seemingly obsessed with was never uttered. Joshua and father likewise danced around the subject, avoiding it as if it were the plague. And funnily enough, (y/n) found herself doing the same. The words felt forbidden, like poison on the tip of her tongue. And when spoken, this entire fantasy concocted by her family would dissolve away before her eyes. For the time being, it felt alright to accept the delusions set up by them all.

Dinner soon came to an end, and by the time they had all finished eating, the sun had long set, the entire outside world blanketed in darkness with only the obscured half moon to offer some reprieve. Her parents deemed it right to invite Junhui to stay for the night, not wanting to cast out their guest on such a dark and dreary night. And as if it were a sign from the gods themselves, some time after Junhui had accepted their invitation, the heavens began releasing this dreadful onslaught of rain, heavy enough to have the roads flooded within minutes of it starting. As such, (y/n) herself couldn't even find any fault in their suggestion, thoughts of Junhui getting hurt and abandoned out in the rain keeping her from even jokingly casting him aside.

The thoughts remained long after she had retired for the night. Images of what could have happened had Junhui rejected their offer of staying for the night. Some righteous part of her brain insisted she'd take the role of some fictitious hero and brave the storm to save him herself. Another part of her brain attempted to rationalize that former statement, saying she'd have done the same had it been Juliet or Joshua out there. Yet that reasoning did nothing to quell the fact that had very well made itself known at this point—that Junhui had nestled himself comfortably in her heart right beside those who she held nearest and dearest.

Junhui was as dangerous a man as one could be. It was concerning how quickly (y/n) had grown so familiar with him in such a short span of time. It was unnerving how happy his letters made her and how she cherished every scrap of paper he sends her. She dotes upon his script as one would a lover, noting every detail of his writing and filing it away under Junhui. She brushes her fingers over his letters to the point that they seem already worn by the time she's done reading, as if she could feel that burning touch of his through the parchment he'd slave over, if his careful and intricate penmanship were any sign of the attention he puts into every message he sends her.

Eventually, it had grown rather late, to the point that she didn't even have to count the chimes of the grandfather clock, as a singular ding sounded through the house. It was futile to even attempt to continue pretending to sleep when all she could think of was everything Junhui. Whether it was one in the afternoon while she busied herself with books and household chores, or one in the morning when she was once more on her own with no other companion than that of the moon, Junhui seemed to remain a resolute entity in her thoughts. Even as she wandered outside her chambers, Junhui was still at the forefront of her mind, and she found that her feet had naturally taken her to the library.

It was indeed a grand archive of books and documents, and she must have read most of them by this point. With a candlestick in one hand, she held its light up to the shelves, browsing through the selections of novels at her disposal, all the while still with Junhui plaguing her thoughts, especially when she reached the business section, nestled in the corner right beside one of the windows of the room. It was a cozy area that offered seating on its large pane, and the angular bay window brought in the perfect amount of sunlight to read for the entire day. She was just about to sit at her usual reading area when she suddenly heard the door click open.

As quickly as she had fled the carriage beforehand, she leapt into the darkness away from the window, blowing out her candle and praying for the shadows to obscure her enough to stay hidden.

As if a cruel and sinister ploy on her part, the tall mahogany doors pushed open, unveiling the blonde newcomer as he padded into the library. His hair was tousled some, though still retaining the general shape of his usual styling. Gone was his coat and vest, instead displaying his flowy white undershirt, neckline untied and parted, revealing a rather generous portion of his collarbones to her eyes.

He looked near ethereal. The candle in his hand flickered with life, casting its warm honey glow across the planes of his face. And in the contrasting cerulean ambience of the moonlight seeping in through the window, Junhui stood there as the outlier. The eccentric oddity he has always been. And it seemed as if he were near beckoning her to emerge from her place of hiding, calling to her like a beacon to a mindless moth.

She couldn't tear her eyes from him, helplessly standing there in this futile battle with herself. He had caught her at her weakest point, after having been assaulted by thoughts of him and nothing else for what has felt like days on end, as well as with her weakened resolve at such a late hour. It was a miracle in itself that she still stood firmly where she resided and hadn't fallen victim to her own inhibitions, so desperately wanting to fall into his arms and let him embrace her. To hide away from the rest of the world, push aside those worries that had hung over her for so long, as if Junhui's hold would erase it all, protect her from the outlash she so feared.

He stood there like an angel, his mere presence enough to weaken her to the point that she shook from her restraint, though beneath this facade, he was more like a snake in her garden of Eden, tempting her into pursuing her personal transgressions.

His back was to her as he browsed the selection of books, fingers skimming the spines as he perused about. (y/n) was tentative with her steps as she mirrored him, ensuring she remained out of his sights. The closer he came to the window, the further she got. She had nearly reached the door when her foot pressed upon a weakened floorboard, the squeak which came from it near deafening in the otherwise silent room. She grimaced as Junhui had also come to a halt, too afraid to turn around and verify for herself.

"Is anyone there?" His voice was low and stoic, unflinchingly rigid, and whether it be from lack of use over the past few hours of nightfall or true hostility, she remained as is, too wary to find out for herself.

Perhaps if she stood as still as she possibly could, he'd dismiss it as the house settling and she'd be able to slip away without him ever noticing. Yet unfortunately, she underestimated Junhui and his perceptive abilities, as he had immediately rerouted to head in her direction. She had no hope from the very start.

She saw her silhouette slowly come to life as his candle grew nearer and nearer, until she was now facing a perfect outline of herself in an orange aura, and beside hers was Junhui's own shadow.

"My lady!" All initial signs of malice in his voice dissipated, replaced by that same saccharine timbre he has always used with her. It was enough to coax her into finally facing him, eyes trailing up to meet his unabashedly joyous smile upon seeing her. Who else would be as elated to see her if not Junhui, whose eyes darted to every feature of her face, cheeks warming and smile widening under the heat of the candle illuminating his expression. "My lady, what are you doing out here? It's far too late for you to be reading, and much too cold!" His free hand patted his chest, as if forgetting he came out of his room without his coat to offer her. His immediate regretful countenance brought a smile to (y/n)'s face, the tension in her body melting away the longer she gazed up at the boy in front of her.

"I'll be alright, though I thank thee for your concern nevertheless."

His expression was so unbearably tender. His soft eyes filled with mirth, dark like cocoa and ever so inviting. She was grounded in her spot, helpless under his gaze. It was as if she were staring directly into the universe held within those deep, brown orbs that seemed unwaveringly fond of no one else but her—as if she was his universe.

And it was frightening. How easily she found herself falling into this world made of only themselves. As if nothing else existed or mattered, as long as they were by one another's side. It was frightening how right it all felt.

It had taken every ounce of her being to tear her eyes from his, head turned to the door she was so close to slipping out of.

"I really must be on my way." She attempted to step away from him, but she froze. His hand wrapped around her own, gently tugging her back to him. His skin was warm against her own, and that heat seemed to slowly trail up her arm, keeping her rooted in her spot, effortlessly allowing him to reel her back to him.

"My lady, please forgive me for my indecent manners, but… Perhaps you may keep me some company?" Junhui's expression faltered some, eyes wavering as they flicked from her to the ground beneath them. "For a few minutes is all. I still have yet to see this business section we've been discussing."

How had he been reduced to such a vulnerable state in mere moments? His usual bravado, that could oftentimes be mistaken for arrogance and the like, seemingly vanished without a trace, instead leaving behind this boy who trembled under her touch, eyes glazed over with this pleading look that was near impossible to deny.

With a minute nod so subtle that it could have been missed if one had blinked, Junhui burst into that same smile that (y/n) found herself more enraptured by day after day. She shuffled ahead of him, softly towing him along behind her as his hand remained in hers, appearing to have no intention of slackening his grip any time soon.

She led him to the window sill, where adjacent to them stood the bookshelf of business and political books she had delved into the previous summer. Some were older classics with yellowed and torn pages while others were the latest edition of recently published novels. She took a seat at the window, knowing that with such a large collection, Junhui would be bound to browse the selection for some time.

Yet instead of the shelves before them, Junhui's attention remained on (y/n), sitting beside her immediately as to not disconnect their hands. At this, (y/n) looked to him, bewildered by his eagerness to remain attached to her.

A fool. There was no better word to describe the way he looked. Mouth agape in wonderment, breathing slowed and steady as if in a trance. Eyes hooded over and glassy, looking as if he were in desperate need of shut eye, yet refusing to close them for not even a second.

In any other circumstance, (y/n) would've corrected his posture and snapped him back into reality, but instead she remained as is, equally captivated by him and his close proximity. Her eyes traced along his features, greedily absorbing any and every detail she could before the moment passed. His candle sat behind him, the light long forgotten as his broad back blocked the glow from her eyes.

They sat there together, under the watchful gaze of the moonlight above them, completely and utterly and unashamedly taken by the other.

"My lady," Junhui whispered, volume dropped until he spoke in nothing more than a breath. He paused, allowing the words to stir in his mind before slipping out. "I truly do hope you aren't entirely irate upon my abrupt request. Especially since I had already questioned you as to why you were out of your chambers at such a late hour."

"You are forgiven." (y/n) responded with a smile, gaze descending to their conjoined hands resting together. It felt so right. It felt as if she were born for this very moment with how destined it seemed for them to be together. How her heart mended together in mere moments, and she hadn't even realized how fractured it had become on its own before meeting Junhui. Yet even with the stars aligning above them, nothing could prove this to be moral.

Not Junhui looking upon her as if she were his sun and his moon, with such earnest fondness pooling in his eyes the longer he's with her. Not the way his hands ceaselessly quake no matter how much restraint he believes he holds, holding her so desperately as if she'd disappear if he lets go, yet also hesitant, afraid of harming her in any way possible. Not the way her entire body seems to be betraying her code of ethics; heart pounding forlornly for him, arms itching to hold him and never let go, stomach fluttering with butterflies and flower blossoms as if spring had come early.

Because in the back of her mind, like an ink stain drenched into the rug, forever there no matter how many items you stack upon it to conceal it—Junhui has a beloved back at home, waiting patiently for his inevitable return.

"Perhaps now that you've found the books, you won't be needing me any longer." She laughed softly at her remark, hoping it would conceal the pain in her voice. The agony that she is the one that has to do what's right. She's the only one attempting to correct these wrongs that have transpired over Junhui's stay.

"Perhaps it's not the books I want." She stiffened at Junhui's words. No implications. No nuances. No underlying meanings at all. "Perhaps it's you that I want. Perhaps it's always been you." His thumb ran back and forth across her knuckles as he spoke, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from the sight, afraid of what honesty his expression held now. "Perhaps there will never be a time when I no longer need you."

Her mind was near throttling her, an internal frenzy taking place, demanding she run far away immediately. As far from him as she can. No good could come out of this. She'd be shunned as a mistress, her family would fall into disgrace because of her impulsive actions, Juliet would even be ridiculed by high society for even being associated with the likes of her. And instead of getting up and fleeing, instead of pushing back against Junhui and refusing his advances, she sat there.

She sat there, eyes glassy with unbridled emotion, lips trembling from the impending tears coming her way. Junhui had raised her hands up closer to his view, fingers interlocking almost naturally. The sight brought a smile to his face.

"I love the way your hands fit in mine. Don't you agree?" Silence on her part. Not that she could even speak if she wanted to with this lump in her throat from the cries she's holding back with all her might. Yet this didn't deter Junhui in the slightest as he continued on. "Ever since the first day we met, I've dreamt of this. Feeling your hands without any obstructions." He brought their intertwined hands to his face, pressing the back of hers to his cheek endearingly. "To feel your touch without those infernal gloves." He slowly dragged her hand down from the side of his face to his lips, shutting his eyes as he gently pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "To feel your skin against my lips." She wanted to yank her hand away, his touch so warm it practically burned into her nerves, yet it was near addicting. She was slowly becoming more and more obsessed with his touch, in any way she could get it.

He littered soft, mindless kisses all over her hand, having released his hold on her to cradle his face against her palm, lips pressing into the center in the most tender manner possible. The moment was tranquil and calm, everything she had ever dreamt of experiencing, and it was undeniable at this point how absolutely enamored she had become with Jun.

A harsh creak sounded through the library, startling the two who bounded up to their feet in moments. (y/n), who had wanted to run away like prey from a predator, was prevented from doing just so as Junhui grabbed her, spinning the two around and bringing her to his chest. His back faced the door, alert as ever as his arms kept (y/n) safely tucked away against him. And after some seconds passed and nothing came of the noise, they slowly relaxed, tension slipping away as they begrudgingly departed.

"Our house is rather old, it settles at times." (y/n) stated, eyes trained on Junhui's torso.

"Ah, makes sense. I just grew nervous. I didn't want you to be seen in your nightgown."

"Everyone in this house has seen me in my nightgown. I'm sure the only worry we had was you seeing me in my nightgown." She had chuckled at this, momentarily lowering her defenses and gazing up at Junhui. It had shocked her some to see that dazed look in his eyes still remaining. That warm, loving smile still etched into his face as he brushed back stray strands of hair from her face, his touch lingering with every stroke. And she savored every last bit of it she could, memorizing the way the pads of his fingers skimmed across her face, leaving behind undeniable heat in its wake like matches against a surface.

But eventually, it all had to end.

Junhui walked (y/n) back to her room, bidding her goodnight with a kiss to her hand and a charming smile alongside it. She closed her door, standing there for a moment more, still feeling his presence on the other side. That comfort that seemed to radiate off of Jun in waves, granting her one last reprieve of the night, because as soon as he had finally walked away, her reality quickly came back, settling upon her shoulders heavily. This burden that seemed to endlessly torment her wherever she resided.

Her chest grew tight, squeezing into her as if this insurmountable pressure was against her. Those tears she held back finally broke free, the first few drops cascading down her face before a broken sob finally caught up. And in this mind-numbing, monotonous like frenzy, she began moving about her room.

She grasped the letter that was meant to be delivered to him and tore it apart. The dress which reminded her of his golden locks was shoved under her bed, hopefully never to be seen again. The parasol from the day they walked in the garden together was tossed deep into her armoire, in hopes of it never resurfacing and bringing with it memories of him.

Though she finally collapsed in on herself as she reached her drawer of his letters, weak and numb whilst leaning against her desk for support. The beautiful words he'd write to her, the tedious flourishments in his calligraphy in a feeble attempt to impress her, his humor that translated into his writing so effortlessly.

Such minuscule sheets of paper felt like the world to her, clutching them to her chest like a remedy to her maladies.

Like the only piece of Junhui she could allow herself to keep.

The next day, she stayed in her room, long after Junhui had left. Under the guise of an illness, she was able to hide away for a few days more. Though when the doctor cleared her of any disease she could possibly have, she left the confines of her room, opting to remain within the borders of the estate.

Junhui would come occasionally, and she'd sneak off into her room before he spotted her, or she'd be at Juliet's when his visits were confirmed beforehand.

Joshua would hand her his letters. Everyday. Everyday without fail, Junhui wrote to her, neither discouraged nor put off by her lack of response. And as if routine at this point, she'd toss the unopened letter into her Junhui drawer.

It pained her to be so cruel to him. He's been nothing but caring and affectionate towards herself. Selflessly putting her before anyone else, proving she remains in his thoughts even if he's busy, pouring his heart out to her without any form of regret or denial in him. As much as she knew she loved him, she knew he loved her. But what else is she to do? Force him to divorce a lady to be with her? Commit blatant adultery in front of their friends and family as if nothing were askew? How would she feel if she were in that woman's shoes? Allowing her husband to go about traveling as a merchant, with only hopes and prayers that he'd return to her at the end of each visit.

To fall in love with Junhui truly was a divine privilege, an inevitability yet one that felt utterly sublime to delve into. He was as endearing as he was handsome, a dangerous combination to any weak-hearted imbecile out there. And to be loved back was just as much a delight as was loving him.

(y/n) couldn't ruin Mrs. Wen's marriage for her own selfish endeavors.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and in her case, this proved far too correct for (y/n)'s liking as she accepted her fate.

She'd often find herself seated against her door, head leant against the wooden frame to hear Junhui's muted voice talking to her brother. She'd allow herself at times to be more vulnerable in front of Juliet, a rarity that neither of the girls expected from the likes of someone such as (y/n), yet nevertheless went along with it to allow her an outlet to freely yearn over Junhui. And at night, long after everyone had fallen asleep, (y/n) would lay beside her desk, thumbing through those letters, rereading his words, tracing his cursive, more often than not falling asleep with one cradled to her chest.

She longed for him, more than she ever had before. Her feelings hadn't waned in the slightest as she had initially believed them to do. They remained as is, with her heart tugging forward in hopes of searching for Jun and reuniting with him. Though she feared ever meeting him again. Feared what would come of her if she truly did have him once more in her grasp. She had exhausted all of her restraint in the library that day.

Twas better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. She hoped this proved as true as the former statement. She hoped that upon Junhui's departure, she'd willingly let him go. Accept the heartache as growth, a cornerstone in her life to revisit when she was older and wiser. To perhaps laugh it off and tell it at teatime with the other ladies in town. About how smitten (y/n) had become for a married man. They'd all laugh about it, and so will (y/n). Ignore the pain that will linger in her heart for years to come and just laugh.

But how long will it take? How long does a broken heart take to recover? How many more nights of crying herself to sleep will it take for her to finally grow numb? For the wounds to cease its bleeding and begin healing? Is it more like a scar, forever residing there as a faded memory of what had once happened, or will it forever be chronic, something that will sting arbitrarily when she sees the color yellow or reads a business book?

Will Junhui think of her 10 years from now? Or will he continue on with life as is? Will he even remember the girl he had absolutely ruined with just his smile alone?

Will she be okay in the end?

Another ornate ballroom. Another orchestra entertaining the masses. Another night where (y/n) stands at the side, warding off anyone who dare approach with her usual cold stare.

She hadn't wanted to come. Her mother dragged her out, insisting she needed socialization after being in the house for so long. And just like every other party they attended, her mother disappeared to mingle, her father off to drink with the other men, and her brother gone to who knows where. Juliet was nowhere to be seen either, perhaps not even attending this banquet.

And so here she stood.

Alone.

Tired.

Dejected.

She felt an elbow suddenly nudge her arm, snapping her out of her daze.

"How can I help you, Joshua?" She asked, turning back to face the crowd after confirming the presence of her brother.

"I've come to ask you the same thing. You look absolutely miserable."

"Thank you. It is the new look I'm trying to achieve. I hear it's rather popular among the ladies of high society—"

"Will you cease with your sarcasm and be serious?" Joshua hissed, sliding into her vision to get her attention. "(y/n), do you not see how terribly worried we all are?" She didn't respond, averting her gaze so as to not feel swayed by the sincerity in his voice. "There's someone that wants to meet you. I'll go get him now."

"Oh, for the last time, Joshua, I am not interested in Soonyoung!" (y/n) huffed, the first emotion she's displayed in the night: complete and utter irritation. "He is a fine gentleman, but I feel nothing for him!"

"(y/n), that's not—"

"I am going to take a much needed breath of fresh air. Please give Soonyoung my best wishes. And with that, good day to you, Joshua. I will see you at home."

Upon finishing her speech, (y/n) stormed off, weaving through the throngs of party goers to slip out the back.

The outside was a stark contrast to whatever hell she had emerged from. The wind was cool with a gentle breeze flowing, picking up stray leaves and petals in its wake. The white stone staircase she found herself on descended into a grand garden, uniform and pristine as opposed to the more natural one she frequents at Juliet's manor. Vines were kept at bay, the grasses evened and trimmed. There wasn't a flower out of place nor a statue out of line.

It felt as miserable as she was.

Though brimming with flowers and the like, it felt lifeless. Every aspect of the garden felt staged, as if a mere facade for others instead of a reflection of its owner. She loathed it, grimacing at every gaudy decor she stumbled upon, at the statues that hadn't a sign of wear upon them, at the flowers that feared growing out of their beds lest the gardener trim those that cross the threshold.

It was perfect. The ideal garden. Not a flaw in sight. And yet she hated every aspect of it.

She collapsed onto the marble bench at the center of the garden. It resided beneath the grand fountain, the focal point of this horrid attraction. But it was the furthest resting point from the party, and it allowed her to finally drop her act of indifference.

Tears began slipping past her waterline, an occurrence which has become second nature to her. She didn't bother to wipe them away, as a fresh coat will only come to replace whatever she erases.

It had been a week since Junhui had departed. The life of a merchant was arduous, ever changing and mobile. And just as he's done for every town before them and every town after, he wrapped up his business and went on his way. The pain was constant, as if he had left town with her heart personally. She remembers sitting in her room, hearing his final goodbyes to Joshua before he left for good. While she knew it was for the better, she truly did feel regretful not saying goodbye to him. She lives with this fact, that she wasted her final chance of seeing Junhui by crying alone in her room. And yet even with the clear avoidance on her part, Junhui still never failed to think of her, as Joshua slipped Junhui's final letter to her.

One with a deep lapis blue wax seal.

Like the others, she tucked it away. Perhaps another day when she's gathered enough strength, she'll open them and read his final words to her. But she couldn't bear it in the state she was in now. She couldn't bear the reminder that she lost perhaps her one true love.

(y/n) could hear footfall nearing her. Her eyes rolled in annoyance, knowing Joshua had sent Soonyoung over anyway. Though I guess it made sense. To the others, Junhui was just another failed suitor, and it was time to move on to the next one.

Soonyoung was indeed kind and handsome, but he was incomparable to Junhui in her mind, as cruel as it may sound. Though the least she could do was amuse the boy one last time before dismissing him like the others.

She felt a coat suddenly drape across her shoulders as a presence descended unto the empty seat beside her, and she felt her heart plummet upon the realization.

"My lady, you shouldn't be out here on such a cold night."

"Junhui." (y/n) shot up onto her feet, backing away instantly as she clutched onto the coat resting along her back.

And there stood Wen Junhui in all of his glory. He looked like an angel having descended from the heavens. This image in white from head to toe with golden accents from the jewelry dangling along his body, his blonde hair gently parted at the center and framing his handsome face so immaculately. He looked as if he had just walked off his marble pedestal, standing before her like one of the many statues in this garden.

It had felt like an eternity since the last time she'd seen him, and the sight had ignited this burning sensation in her eyes. Her breaths came out in puffs of white, the condensed air obscuring her vision as it hid Junhui behind its wall of vapor. Perhaps that's why she couldn't truly take in his face until he had moved, standing in front of her with that same adoring, lovestruck gaze of his.

Her breathing was labored, heavy as if having run about the garden, and it only seemed to grow harsher once Junhui had offered her his hand.

"May I have this dance, my lady?" His voice was so soft, nothing more than a whisper into the night, but it held such unadulterated emotion. This lovingly yearning tone in his words as if on the brink of pleading. And at this point, every function of her body had shut down. That incessant turmoil in her that had resided since Junhui first entered her life suddenly silenced, this peace in her mind that she had seemed to forget was even achievable. With such a clear head, it made way for her body's natural intuition to kick in, and she found herself sliding her hand in his own, drawing nearer to him just as the orchestra's distant playing began a new song.

It was faint, drowned out by the murmur of the fountain before them, yet it was that soft tinkle of a tune that waded in the air around them that created such an alluring, tranquil atmosphere. Junhui twirled her about the area, the tap of their shoes against the stone pavement in unison as they melted into each other's embraces. Junhui's tentative touches that had traveled along her lower back, as if wanting to run his hands over as much as her as he could in their position, had given up their initial courtesy and instead dragged her against him, hands gripping her like his life depended on it. And his unwaveringly adoring stare had her entirely mesmerized by him. That sweet grin of his on display for her, eyes darting to and fro along her face, cheeks rounded from his delight at being reunited once more.

It was a perfect reunion. One she had never imagined she'd ever receive, yet felt like her wildest dream nevertheless.

"How are you, my lady?" He finally spoke, his voice just as honeyed as the rest of his presence. His brows curved in absolute intrigue, as if she were the most interesting thing he'd ever come across. He practically dragged her closer to him in anticipation, if that were even possible.

"I've been well." Her voice had cracked at the beginning of her sentence, prompting her to clear her throat as unnoticeably as she could muster to hide whatever feelings he had begun stirring in her. "And you, Mr. Wen?"

His hold on her had stiffened momentarily, but he proceeded nevertheless.

"I'm… not so well."

"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's quite alright, my lady. It's just been a rather curious past few days. You see, I met this woman." She spared him a hopeful glance, and his eyes hadn't strayed from hers for even a moment. "A fine woman. Intelligent. Thoughtful. Humorous. Fun to banter with." His gaze flickered down to her lips as his own twitched upwards at the corner. "This gorgeous smile that knocks the wind out of you, if you're ever given the privilege of seeing it." She couldn't help but to let out a helpless chortle at this, smiling widely at his words as tears began flooding her eyes. Junhui's dancing slowed some, his hand along her waist trailing up to lay along her face, thumb swiping away the moisture collecting at her waterline. "And I had fallen so terribly in love with her."

Her heart throbbed at his confession, and her head felt light as she stared into his wholly genuine gaze. It was frightening how terribly honest he was at almost all times of the day, yet it seemed even more daunting now with not a person in sight nor any motive aside from his own true feelings for her.

"However," he continued, eyes lowering away from her face as his eyebrows knitted together in thought, "I feared I may have lost her forever." His hand had retreated back to her waist, bringing her to him once more, as if a comforting action in the midst of his momentary distress. "Perhaps it had been due to my indecency one night where my feelings had gotten the better of me." He hesitatingly met her eyes once more, breath stuttering and pupils shaky. "Perhaps I've made her uncomfortable with my presence. Perhaps there's no redeeming myself. Nevertheless, I've wanted to apologize to her. Apologize if I've ever forced her into a situation she found to be miserable, or have made her discomfited in her own home. I'd like to apologize, and hope she finds it in her heart to forgive someone like myself?"

"I…"

It was strange. His words something she had to process for another minute to herself as she sorted through these weird circumstances. He had returned to her to apologize for the night in the library. A night she cherished as her final moment with Junhui, as well as the closest she'll ever come to living out her fantasy of being by his side.

It was both something he should apologize for, for giving her such a wondrous moment that she'll never truly be allowed to claim, as if giving her a taste of her favorite dessert before revoking it from her forever. Though it was also something he shouldn't feel obligated to apologize for. Because he truly did give her this wondrous night she'll never forget. Something she can look back upon fondly and remember better times. It felt almost unfair to apologize for giving her such happiness.

Yet in the grand scheme of things, he still hasn't apologized for the largest issue between the two. So with a resolute mind, (y/n) straightened her back, tilting her chin up assuredly as she pressed on.

"Do what you wish. Do whatever you believe feels right." This brought a smile to Junhui once more, his mouth opening as he was about to spew out his many sincere apologies to her, yet she continued on before he could. "However, I feel inclined to remind you to take into consideration not only you and this person, but perhaps someone else you've seemed to fail to consider." His mouth had shut immediately, brows furrowing as she spoke, as if completely and utterly lost, and this only served to irk (y/n) who held back an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "Perhaps someone awaiting you back at home."

"Pardon me?"

Those were his final words before the orchestra had ceased its playing and (y/n) stepped away from him.

"I thank you for this final dance, Mr. Wen. I pray you'll find your way home safely." She curtsied to him as he remained frozen in place, expression contorted into this forced stoicism, yet still riddled with absolute confusion. "I'll be off then. Do not feel pressured to escort me as you always do. I highly suggest roaming about the garden! It's lovely tonight."

And so she once more and for the final time fled from him, hiking up her dress once she was out of view from him to quicken her steps before her tears could fall. She had marched up the stairs at a surprisingly fast rate, garnering shocked looks from those around her who murmured at her indecency, yet she couldn't care less. No one approached her irascible self as she stormed her way through the party, finally spotting her mother towards the back of the room, conversing with her acquaintances.

"Mother, I'd like to return home now." The woman was about to laugh off her words, which was something she frequently heard from (y/n) at these sorts of events, that is until she had finally faced her daughter and saw the despair written across her face. The way her eyes glossed over with a sheen of tears, her lip quivering as she forced it into as straight a line as possible, and just overall barely composing herself whilst in this public setting. Her maternal instincts had finally settled in as she dismissed herself from the other ladies, wrapping an arm around her daughter whilst leading her through the party.

She had passed by Joshua and Juliet, the two looking to her filled with concern, though neither approaching, merely looking to her with this sense of disquietude in their eyes.

Her father had almost immediately summoned their coachmen the moment he'd seen his daughter in such distress, instructing the man to return (y/n) to the manor right away.

It was such a quick ordeal that she supposed Junhui was perhaps still standing there stunned in that garden. And the whole way home, she reminded herself this was for the better.

Though she had laughed at some point upon the idea of just tossing it all away and becoming a mistress to Junhui, it wasn't until she was there being offered that very role that she realized she couldn't find it in herself to be so selfish. It was something she was not in the slightest bit prepared for, in both the case of becoming this person who'd ruin the lives of everyone around her, but also in just the mere act of being granted such a tempting opportunity.

It was unfair that everything had to have resulted in such a way. That she couldn't have just loved Junhui the way she desired. That she couldn't accept his affections for her which had felt so genuine and wholesome. That so many obstacles stood in their way, and it was near impossible for them to have ever gotten their own happy ending.

She thought this as she stumbled out of the carriage and into the manor, lazily dragging her feet along the wooden floorboards as she drowned in her self pity. Yet her body had strayed from its designated route to her room, instead detouring until she found herself standing in the middle of the library. The library where Junhui had showered her in such caring love which haunted her for weeks. A love she'd never experience again.

This was the way life was. A bittersweet exchange. Happiness is a rarity, some being blessed to obtain it so frequently and others merely hoping to stumble upon it as they make their way through such a journey. Life can hold its own humor, able to devastate a person with the slightest of inconveniences or unforeseen circumstances. And (y/n) was merely a victim to life's trials.

It would eventually all pass away. Her torments would soon drift away with the wind as she persevered through it all. It was temporary, she insisted. It was something everyone went through. The loss of a first love. The first person to awaken something in her heart. To brighten her world and show her the vibrancy in everything. The warmth of his hands would forever haunt her own, the love in his eyes something forever ingrained in her memory. And with his absence, he'd take away with him a part of her. Something that will never be there again. Something only he can ever bring about in her.

She mourned the loss of her first love, and she mourned the loss of that part of herself that would forever lie dormant. But this was a chapter in her book she'd have to close. And though it may take some time to do so, it'd eventually happen.

Leaving the library felt more like leaving the book open on its final page, but it was a small step she needed to take. Allow her to stew over Junhui some more, bid him goodbye from her heart, and let bygones be bygones. Because while Junhui couldn't be her last love, he was her first. A position no one else could ever take from him. And while it hurt her, she nevertheless would accept it as such.

The next day came, and she found herself absentmindedly getting dressed. Her head was still hazy from slumber, eyes shutting on their own as she tugged on articles of clothing one after the other. It was early, the morning condensation still clinging to her window as the sun streamed through the droplets, casting warped shadows across her floor as she moved about. The birds sang to her scampering, as if reminding her that a new day was here and it would be a good one.

And it was a relieving omen as she finally exited her room, gloves in hand while she descended the stairs rapidly. She was going to visit Juliet and spend time with her dearest friend, and the sooner the better. Her gloves and bonnet could wait until she was in the carriage to be put on.

"Lady (y/n)." The maid called to her just as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes?" (y/n) asked, turning around to face the woman.

"You have a guest."

A guest? This early in the morning? As the sun was still stirring awake?

Her curiosity only grew as the maid halted her in her steps.

"Not in the parlor."

"If not in the parlor, then where would this guest have requested we meet?" (y/n) laughed it off at first, taking the time to start tugging on her gloves before she suddenly paused at the next words spoken.

"He requested you meet in the library."

She stopped, glove still dangling at the tips of her fingers as her laughter was replaced by a shocked expression. Junhui? Again?

There was a small part of her that was becoming irate at his constant reappearances every time she had prepared herself for nursing her heartbreak, though a greater portion of her that had already begun rushing to the library, heart leaping at the prospect of seeing him again.

When she had arrived at the doors, she had hesitated, breath stuttering as realization soon set in. What else could he have to say to her? She's already dismissed him as is. If she had to outright reject him directly to his face, she wouldn't be able to live with herself. Perhaps he was just here for a final goodbye—hopefully he was just here for a final goodbye.

The doors had felt heavier than they ever had as she pushed them open, sliding into the room through the generous gap offered before shutting them behind herself. She hoped for a moment to herself as she faced the closing doorway, but she had forgotten who she was dealing with for a second.

"My lady!" His excited voice sounded out from across the room, and the juxtaposition from the solemnity she had expected was quite jarring, enough to shake her from her stupor as she turned to him incredulously. And there he was, practically bounding to her with wide strides and a manic smile on his face. The sight was terrifying, prompting her to press her back to the flat surface behind her as Junhui finally stopped a foot before her.

"Mr. Wen." She responded, and this time, he didn't even flinch at the usage of his last name, merely extending his hand towards her one gloved hand. She tentatively slipped her own into his, and so began the journey back to that damned window sill, Junhui beginning to ramble the entirety of the way back.

"Good morning, my lady. I hope this wasn't too early a wake up call for you. I haven't been waiting long, if you were worried for that. I just wanted to speak with you once more." He had stopped speaking as he sat them both down, his eyes as eager as a retriever of sorts whilst waiting for her response. (y/n) had to have looked petrified, but this didn't deter him in the slightest.

"Good morning to you, too, Mr. Wen…" Her voice came out as tense as her body was, eyes darting about the room as if hoping for some sort of answers to come to her soon. Answers as to why Wen Junhui sat there so enthusiastically before her as if she hadn't already declined his feelings as subtly as she could. "I was actually already awake. You see, I plan to visit Juliet today. So I was already dressed and ready."

She hoped he'd get the message. That she already had plans and that this meeting should go as quickly as humanly possible, but yet again, he chose to pick his own story.

"Oh, how delightful!" He let out a breathy laugh, eyes still trailing across her face before finally some resolution settled in his features. "I wouldn't want to disturb your set plans, so I thank you for taking out some time from your day for me."

The guilt bit at her heart at his word choice, at how grateful he was for her having just sat down for him, but nevertheless she nodded and allowed him to continue on.

"I actually came here to continue our discussion from last night. I felt it hadn't ended the way I wanted it to."

(y/n) scoffed at this, almost amused at how arrogant his words were.

"Well, I'm sorry the conversation did not fit your standards of social expectations, but I feel it ended as well as it could regarding the circumstances." He lit up almost at the end of her sentence, smile coming back into place as she sat up.

"No, that's the thing. The circumstances you speak of are gravely misinterpreted."

"What ever could you mean?" She tilted her head at this, still failing to grasp what route Junhui could possibly be taking their meeting.

"Well, I'm afraid I haven't been entirely honest. That's not to say I've lied directly to you, but perhaps the lies I've spouted to others have finally come back to bite me." He pursed his lips into a thin line, eyes wandering up in thought, as if deliberating once more on these supposed lies he's gotten himself tangled in. With a shake of his head, he returned his attention to her. "Please, allow me to explain. I know I don't deserve a moment, but please spare me a moment to try and salvage what has transpired?"

She took a deep breath, shutting her eyes before nodding at his request. He scooted closer to her, back with that enthused smile on his face as he held her hand in his, thumb softly stroking the skin beneath the glove's seam.

"So as you know, I'm rather handsome."

She snorted at this, hand slapping against her mouth as he chuckled at her reaction.

"That's how you've decided to start this conversation?"

"Yes, now allow me to continue." (y/n) nodded, granting him permission to continue speaking, though this time more lighthearted as a smile fell upon her lips.

"Go on, Adonis."

"Anyways, I am burdened by my good looks, you see? Though it is something I must live with." She bit her lip, attempting to contain the laugh wanting to burst from her, but nodding again, indicating she was paying attention. "And so when I go to places, I'm often courted by many a fair lady. I'm sure your first impression of me was something along the lines of a potential marriage partner, was it not?"

"I'm afraid so." She answered, keeping her voice as steady as she could manage. "My mother was quite smitten when she first laid her eyes upon you."

Junhui laughed, thumb slipping further into her gloves until it rested at the base of her palm.

"As most are. I am something of a mother-in-law wrangler."

This time, she couldn't help but laugh aloud, leaning on Junhui for support as he also laughed, shoulders bouncing with glee where her head rested. When things had finally settled some, he continued with his plight.

"It was around the time I had first became a merchant that I realized this. I'd go to a different town, come to know the people, get a handful of marriage requests, and I'd have to reject each and every one." He pouted, slouching against the window behind him. "I don't like hurting people. I don't like breaking hearts. But it was something that became so frequent with my job." He glanced over at her to make sure she was still listening, and when he saw he had her undivided attention, he proceeded. "So I came up with a diversion of sorts. To already be betrothed before anyone asks me. So as to not outright reject anyone anymore, but also to easily ward off future marriage prospects."

(y/n) hummed at this, realizing it truly did work that first night at the ball. Her mother had looked so defeated and downtrodden as she came to terms with Junhui already being off the market, and hadn't pressured (y/n) to talk to him at all.

But once she finally processed his words, she felt her heart skip a beat. Her eyes widened and her hand clenched around his own, jaw falling slack at the information told to her.

He's not married.

Junhui's lips twitched up into a smile when he noticed her realization at his confession.

"My lady, I am very much so single and available."

That was all she needed before she had all but launched herself at him, laughter filling the air as she tossed her arms around him. Junhui easily caught her, pulling her into a warm, tight embrace as they reveled in one another's presence.

Tears pricked at her eyes, and her arms were beginning to feel sore from how tightly she held him, but she couldn't have been happier. She hugged him just as she always imagined she would. As greedily as she had always dreamt of being. She inhaled his scent as if breathing the open air for the first time in a millennia. She hadn't realized how restrained she truly did feel until her shackles had dissipated into nothing. How liberating it was to love as freely as she so desired.

(y/n) was the first to pull away, though not by far as she sat herself atop his lap, gently carding her fingers through his hair whilst taking in his features once more. Taking in the face that, presumably, now belonged to her very own soon to be betrothed. He smiled, this cat like, sated grin with his eyes shutting under her soft touch. And she was wholly endeared by such an expression, finding herself unconsciously leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the corner of his lips.

His eyes had fluttered open upon this, though he held no surprise in them. Merely curious wonder as he watched her with his wide, observant eyes. And (y/n) watched back, just as calm as ever.

Within the next moment, Junhui had reciprocated her action, tilting his head so to press his lips against her own.

A gentle, ever so loving kiss. One which held the weeks of yearning from the two of them, yet also the passion that blazed between them. This adoration that once sparked could not be tamed in any way. And it was almost humorous to think otherwise. That a love of their caliber could have been foregone had it not been for Junhui's clarification.

Her hands cupped his face, thumbs softly brushing against his cheeks bones as his hands reached up to her wrists, holding her closer to him as he spoke every silent utterance of his love for her through his kiss, hoping that whatever superfluous words he could have possibly ever managed to profess to her in some helpless way of describing what he feels for her would be able to be conveyed in this manner; felt rather than heard.

Once more, (y/n) was the first to separate, pulling away from his warmth after some few moments later. His eyes remained shut, though his lips had absentmindedly trailed after her own, dazed from such an ordeal that she couldn't help but giggle at his antics, snapping him free from his stupor.

Serene. That was how it felt. Being wrapped in Junhui's arms, feeling the warmth of his soft lips still lingering on her own, falling deep into his sweet, dark gaze, the honey-like embers in the chocolate of his eyes enough to have her drowning in that tender stare of his. And he seemed so tranquil from beneath her, as if having no worries in the world. As long as she was there, perhaps he'd never feel another ounce of anxiety ever again.

"I love you." He spoke first, timbre smooth and delicate as he spoke such fond words. His eyes seemed glassy with emotion, prompting (y/n) to kiss him once more.

They were words she had craved to hear him utter. Something she had dreamt of happening for days to come, and something which had felt even sweeter in person. And soon, all of the turmoil she'd gone through over the past few days seemed redundant. The efforts to hide Junhui from her memories futile as she now embraced him in hopes of him never leaving again. In hopes of forever reveling in this feeling for however long she could.

"I love you, too."

"The weather is divine today, don't you agree?" Junhui spoke as he led the two through Juliet's garden once more. The vines were overgrown, the flowers plentiful and random, and the attempts at achieving perfection had been missed greatly. But it couldn't have been a more beautiful sight, especially whilst beside her love, Junhui.

Things had fallen into place rather seamlessly, as if the flow of things had been momentarily obstructed, though now was able to move about freely with no hassles. Junhui had cleared away any and all misunderstandings rather quickly once (y/n) had accepted his intentions.

Supposedly it had actually been Juliet's father whom Junhui had begun the rumor with, as he has done in every town he ventured to: planting the seed and allowing it to grow and spread to others. It was he who told Joshua, who then told (y/n). Junhui hadn't expected news to travel as quickly as it had, as silly as it sounded. But nevertheless, all was clarified, and soon everyone knew (y/n) was Junhui's betrothed.

His prior betrothed had been promptly retired, though not before having caused a momentary raucous between the two lovers.

"How long have you been doing this betrothed charade?" (y/n) had asked one night as they sat alongside each other in her library. Junhui paused from his reading, humming in thought before answering her question.

"Five years."

"Five years?" (y/n) was taken aback, jaw dropping as she drew away from him to take in all of his person. "You've been dragging this poor girl as a false betrothed for half a decade?"

"No, no," Junhui placed his book down in a panic, pivoting to face (y/n) as he sensed a new misunderstanding to arise. "I've been dragging a poor girl's corpse as a false betrothed for half a decade."

His words, as they usually tended to do, caused even more of a misunderstanding between the two, but he had swiftly explained himself, having used an unmarked grave by his hometown as a name for his betrothed, so that if anyone had dared investigate his motives, they'd come across the grave of a widow's wife, and perhaps feel an ounce of guilt for having dug into Junhui's life.

Yes, he was quite the imbecile, though it was endearing to her, especially as he scrambled over his words moments after the two had confessed their love to one another in the library that day.

She was still seated in his lap as he had begun rambling nonsense.

"(y/n), I truly am madly in love with you. My affections are entirely genuine. Everything we've experienced, every encounter we've shared, has truly been moments with which I shall cherish with my entire being. Aside from this one fib of sorts, I have not hidden anything from the likes of you, nor shall I ever. You shall always be my top priority. I'll take care of you, I'll drop everything at your beck and call. I–"

"Jun." His name sounded so lovely coming from her, as if she spoke such vibrant life into that singular syllable, and it was enough to silence Junhui who stared up at her in awe at how in love he truly was with her. "My dear, you're rambling these promises to me, yet you haven't even verified whether I've accepted them or not." He could hear the tease in her voice, feel the way her heart beat for him from her pulse where his thumb rested over her wrist. But he always enjoyed a good game, especially if no matter the outcome, he'd win. And so he gathered her hands into his own, eyes sparkling with mirth as he gazed up at her.

"My love, though this may not be the most wondrous of locales we could have chosen, nor is it the inimitable romantic moment with which I had dreamt of asking you, but I can only hope you'll forgive my inopportune choice in time and consider me nevertheless. Consider whether you'll accept my affections as they are; truly and wholly genuine in every sense of the word. Though I may lack in etiquette at times, say strange things, conjure deranged ploys that no man on earth has considered nor executed, I still find myself yearning to be by your side, if you'll have me, as your betrothed?"

And how could she say no to such an eloquent proposal? Especially from someone as undoubtedly dashing and humorous as Junhui.

He filled her days with laughter, happiness practically radiating off (y/n) whenever they were together, and he showered her in all the love he could possibly offer a person.

With the security of their now stable relationship, she had also found the strength to open those letters she had stowed away, and it was as painful an experience as she thought it would be.

The first few letters had been vaguely casual, attempting to keep the air of normalcy that had been established in their frequent letter exchanges, but had soon been abandoned upon his realization that she was no longer responding. Desperation sprawled across pages as he tried so dearly to reach out to her. Hundreds of apologies, questions as to where she'd gone, pleads of her returning to him. And that final letter on the day he left—that letter sealed with its deep blue wax—was his attempt at confessing to her before leaving, never to see her again.

"Though strenuous, it is possible for me to hide my affections for you, as I have done through the entirety of our encounters, yet hiding the tenderness I feel for you is not as viable an option for me. I cannot hide the way I naturally care for you, my fondness which reveals itself whenever I am near you. I hide my love for you, yet it seems to seep out no matter how desperately I hold it back. I only wish I could've held on a little longer, perhaps not have frightened you off. I regret my actions dearly. I am left praying for a second chance, as I fear a life without you near."

Life has been terribly cruel to them. Not only had she gone through such hardships, dealing with a love she believed to be impossible to attain, but he had gone through a love he believed to be complex and unrequited.

Yet again, life is funny that way. Life has its humorous moments that seem terribly unfair and tragic, but in the end, it all works out. Perhaps not as smoothly as one would have intended it to, but she couldn't necessarily complain. After all, here she was standing side by side with her beloved Junhui as he regaled her with stories of his latest travels.

"My love, I really must take you on one of my trips with me. What do you say? Perhaps the next one? It's only some few hours from here, I believe." He looked at her hopefully, eyes shining with hope and adoration, the latter being a rather permanent fixture in his gaze whenever she resided in his sights. He was so sappy, yet so endearing. Continuing to send letters to her no matter where he was, surprising her with gifts and displays of his affections, already searching for a manor of their own in town for once they were wed.

He was right. It was impossible to hide his tenderness for her, long before they had even gotten together. He cherished (y/n), treating her as he would his most precious, coveted object. And she splendored in the love he rained down upon her, her only complaint being that she herself seemed to falter in this little game of love of theirs as she attempted to keep up with him. She was sure he'd grow tired of the many knitwear and cross stitch she'd gift him, but he hadn't shown even the smallest signs of growing weary of them, adorning his gloves in the winter and his embroidered handkerchief at meetings.

But the greatest gift they could have ever given each other was merely themselves. In an overgrown, messy garden on a windy day with the sun beaming above them, she couldn't have asked for a better moment.

"I'll go wherever you go, my dear." (y/n) responded, resting her head along his arm and shutting her eyes peacefully. Junhui hummed in delight at this, bringing her hand up to his mouth and pressing a kiss to her wrist, right along her vein where it pulsed against his lip.

"We could even bring Joshua and Juliet along as a double date of sorts. I'm sure they'd enjoy the scenery of the shoreline."

She chuckled in delight at the reminder of her brother and her friend, the two courting one another soon after (y/n) and Junhui had themselves. Apparently they had gotten much closer when they were attempting to get them together, perhaps a much more complicated ordeal than it had been for Junhui and (y/n) to play matchmaker with them, as Junhui was believed to have been married at the time. Though it seemed to work nevertheless.

Joshua had managed to lure Junhui back and into (y/n)'s direction. He was even the one that had cornered him about his intentions with his sister whilst being married—and so enlightened Junhui of the situation at hand, as he then confronted (y/n) the very next day in the library, delighted to realize the misunderstanding occurring.

"I believe they'd like that very much." (y/n) agreed, turning her head to look up at Junhui once more. His golden hair was much longer, pulled back with a ribbon she had tied on him herself in their carriage. He was as handsome as ever, perhaps a beauty that would never fade, with soft, charming features that seemed timeless to her. Her face would heat up whenever his dark, warm eyes landed on her, and her skin would practically burn whenever he'd press his lips onto hers, reminding her of that ageless, apodictic love he held for her; a flame in the depths of his heart that seemed to never extinguish.

"I'd love to show you the ocean." He confessed, seating her alongside him on a bench under a flower archway. That gentle smile of his melted onto his face, a sigh of relief expelling from his nose as he took in his lovely (y/n) again and again. "It's indescribable. It stretches far beyond the eye can see. The waters are cool and the winds are refreshing under the sun." He brushed back a lock of hair from her face, fingers resting at the junction of her jaw where her ears resided. "I'd love to experience everything the world has to offer with you. If you'll allow me."

"That sounds wonderful to me."

Her poor heart couldn't possibly take such tenderness, such warm devotion on a daily basis. This incessant thudding in her chest whenever Junhui held her in his arms, he could quite possibly kill her one of these days from how fatal he was to her fragile heart. But she'd die happy. Knowing Junhui had become her first love, her last love, and her forever love.

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