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midstofroses · 3 months

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Love Me Like That

❝𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆— 𝑶𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.❞

♡

Pairing: Jeong Yuno-Jaehyun (nct) x (fem!oc) Original Character

» Genre: one-shot, soft-angst, underlying suggestive– reader discretion advised ▪︎ ex to lovers » Disclaimer! This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, events or even other fictional stories is purely coincidental

Sienna stepped into the room, the aroma of pizza lingering in the air. "You're just in time. Did you bring the pizza?" Her friend– Nabi asked, revealing the items she had bought. "Yeah, and got some chicken too," she smiled excitedly.

Their living room was transformed into a haven for a movie marathon, a night to savour their well-deserved chill and create fond memories. Nabi's eyes sparkled with excitement as she accepted the food. "Well, then you should go clean yourself and come back here so we can start our movie night."

"I'll be quick," Sienna chimed.

After a brisk wash, the refreshing feeling enveloped her. A slight relief washed over her, even though her raging hormones from that time of the month still caused her physical discomfort.

While picking up her pyjamas, she noticed a mountain of clean clothes at the edge of her bed. Sighing, she decided to restore order before rejoining her friends. Sienna's frustration grew when the drawer refused to close. It wasn't as if she had bought new clothes for her drawer to betray her.

After several failed attempts, she couldn't contain her anger and punched the drawer in frustration.

"I missed him," she mumbled, catching her breath. The reason for her inconvenience dawned on her – her clothes weren't folded the way they used to be when he was around. How foolish of her.

Leaving her dark room, Sienna went to the kitchen where Kai noticed her friend's slightly bruised hand. "Oh? What happened to your hand?" she asked in confusion.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just need to run water on it," Sienna replied, brushing off the concern.

"Make sure you put ointment and bandage it after cooling it off," Kai advised.

"Yeah, will do," Sienna responded, putting on a brave smile beneath her troubled emotions.

"Oh, by the way, Jaehyun came by this afternoon looking for you," Nabi announced, interrupting the moment. Kai recalled the earlier encounter, suspecting a disagreement.

"Did you guys fight?" Kai asked, and Sienna's expression grew timid. She didn't want to discuss him; it was giving her a headache.

"He brought red velvet cupcakes," Nabi added, trying to lighten the mood. Sienna glanced at the coffee table, spotting the cupcakes – a favourite treat of theirs.

"You mentioned it's your first day of 'red days.' I guess having Jaehyun be part of your monthly flow app is so useful," Nabi giggled, proud of the gesture despite the situation.

"Heh, I guess so," Sienna chirped, trying to keep the conversation light while tending to her hand. "Why does he always have great timing?" she pondered, glancing at her phone with unread messages from Yuno piling up.

As they settled into their movie night, Kai brought up the topic of sharing expenses in a relationship. The conversation flowed, intertwining with the movie's background noise.

"I totally agree with you gals, but if the guy made you feel uncomfortable throughout the date, I'd rather pay my half and be done with it," Sienna commented, sharing her perspective.

Kai expanded on the aftermath, "So he wouldn't have the chance to point stupid things. Such as he paid the whole time, but he would act like a sad boy or an ass since the date didn't end well, right?"

"Exactly! Ugh, that's the feeling I hate," Sienna raged, hugging a pillow. After her emotional outburst, she finally indulged in the red velvet cupcake she had been craving.

As the night deepened, the snow outside intensified, creating a cosy atmosphere in their little bubble of friendship. "But if you think about it like this, he wasted your valuable time." Kai offered a new perspective. “So you at least did not waste your own money”

"But that's not what she came for in the first place," Nabi pointed out, settling the situation. “Besides we all know we can earn more money than to live like that.”

"I'd still rather drown myself than give him the privilege to think he spoiled me with his own money," Sienna expressed her feelings, hormones adding a touch of intensity.

The three friends continued their night, sharing deep conversations and appreciating each other's presence. Unbeknownst to them, Sienna was truly grateful, even amid the challenges she hid behind her facade.

As the last days of spring dwindled, Yuno felt a magnetic pull towards the enchanting nights, eager to grasp the remnants of the season before the relentless heat of summer took over. The crisp wind, a balm for his cluttered mind, whispered promises of clarity.

"This feels nice," he murmured, eyes fixed on the captivating night unfolding in the park by the river. Soft lights adorned the streets, and cherry blossoms, in their final dance, swirled around, accompanied by the gentle melody emanating from his headphones.

On a whim, Yuno invited Johnny for a spontaneous bike ride, half-expecting a decline. Much to his surprise, his best friend agreed, and they found themselves in a nearby park, a place etched with memories of their shared adventures.

Yuno, seeking an escape from the confines of home and work, embraced the freedom of riding through the city. The wind carried untold stories, and the cityscape unfolded its secrets.

"Hey, there's no one in the court," Johnny observed, diverting Jaehyun's attention. "Wanna play?" Jaehyun suggested.

"Yeah, it's been a while. It's going to be fun," Johnny agreed, infusing the atmosphere with infectious enthusiasm. After a few spirited rounds, they decided to take a breather, relishing the camaraderie that defined their friendship.

Perched on a bench around the court, they savoured water and ice cream. Johnny playfully teased, "Jae, not to sound like a jealous second babe, but don't you usually ask Sienna for these?" Laughter bubbled up, but beneath the banter, Jaehyun grappled with emotions threatening to surface.

START OF FLASHBACK.

The dark room lit up with the moonlight and the desk lamp near her, Yuno smiled seeing Sienna was waiting at his place.

He closed their proximity by hugging her. Yuno always takes this kind of opportunity whenever she waits for him to come home after a long day from work. He feels relieved from his stress even with just one hug from his favourite person.

After letting him hug her, Yuno stared at her with curiosity “You’d spend the night here?”

Sienna gulped avoiding his gaze. "You went over my head and paid for my University fees without telling me." Her voice was monotone, standing up from where they were sitting.

"Oh, I guess it's too late for a surprise now." He looks up at her, smiling giddily. But, he recognizes her demeanour changes negatively, making his face drop in worry.

“Let me remind you, I'm not a girl who you could just simply pay for, Yuno.” She scoffs painfully. “If you think your grand gesture was cute, well news flash I’m disappointed.” Sienna attempts to calm her voice down, “You didn’t even bother to have this conversation with me!” But alas her blood boils with her tears slowly falling from her eyesight becoming an ocean of pain.

Yuno stood up straight. “It’s just money, Sienna.” He chortles, brushing his hair out of his face.“I don't want you to be stressed because of money.” Yuno huffs out, confused by her action. “I could always make more money for me– for us.” Yet he strives to get close to her, cupping her face with his hands softly caressing her stained cheeks. “And I can help you with that, can’t you see it? I want to support you so you can reach your goal!” His voice and face emitted torment, he hated how this situation occurred.

Her birthday was coming up, and all he wanted was to do something that alleviated her burden.

She removes his hands from her face aggressively, moving away from him.

“You think my family and I can’t handle our shit?” she sarcastically laughed, trying to stop her sobbing, though it was difficult to execute. Anxiously she bit her bottom lip harder.

He could sense her walls starting to appear once again, his nightmare slowly coming to life.

“Sure I'm struggling, my family is struggling.” The young lady asserts, “But I've experienced far much worse than this bullshit and we’ve survived.'' Sienna picked up a pillow and slammed it on the coach. “Why can’t you believe in me?!” With every word she screams out, the pillow gets slammed on the coach. Relinquishing her anger through the use of this method. She stopped her antics, breathing heavily. Sienna peer dead in the eyes of him. “I just needed more time to accomplish things, not all plans can sail smoothly.” Her voice cracked, eyes were gradually forming to puff.

“Sienna, I know how much you want to study again, despite not having it as your first choice with this course.” His body quivered, tears heavily forming as he scanned her figure.“Whenever I see how you recall your memories with your friends or when you help them study, you always have that spark.” He carries on describing his affection towards Sienna and how he witnessed her in the past years of their relationship. “I just want to bring that spark back.” He’s not the type who would just sit down on purpose. If he indeed has the means to help her out, even just a little he would do it in a heartbeat.

Life is hard and he desires to be a partner where she can lean onto him safely.

Yuno wanted to come closer to her, yet she immediately flinched and it broke his heart into pieces seeing her first instinct was to run away from him.

“Jeong Yuno, You’re not getting the point here.” Sienna sniffles as she shakes her head while gazing down on the floor. “We’re over.” she declares, with his furrowed brows “No.” He sternly demands.

She sneered, “After all of this, I'll do the grand gesture to finally break this relationship off.” With her last remark, her body evacuated from his place.

Yuno followed her out but she was too fast and he was too slow to handle the situation, he got lost finding her.

END OF FLASHBACK.

Jaehyun just bared his soul to Johnny, revealing the painful truth of his recent breakup with Sienna, a wound haunting him for three months. It marked a vulnerable moment for Jaehyun, who, until now, had grappled with the harsh reality and denial.

Unbeknownst to Jaehyun, Johnny already knew the heart-wrenching details. A week earlier, Kai, Johnny's girlfriend, had shared the relationship's demise with him. Though Kai hadn't intended to spill the beans, the weight of the secret pushed Johnny to convince her to share the truth.

The revelation left Johnny stunned. Sienna was dead serious with Kai, She didn’t want to entertain questions about them so only a few people got to know the real state of their relationship. Johnny unwittingly became one of those few.

Now, faced with Jaehyun's raw emotions, Johnny wrestled with the delicate balance between concern for his friend and utmost respect for their privacy. He had upheld his end of the bargain, bearing the weight of their shared secret. As a pillar of support, Johnny stood ready to help Jaehyun navigate the emotional turmoil, recognizing Yuno's need for that gentle push.

"How did you cope up?" Johnny delicately probed, shattering the unspoken barriers.

"After that night, every week I'd visit their house, hoping to find her. Eventually, I had to stop when a big project came my way. But I kept leaving messages, calls, even emails," Jaehyun confessed, his unwavering dedication to Sienna palpable. Two years into working with an architecture company, Sienna had been his anchor.

"Sometimes I'd order stuff to be delivered to their home. But after two months, I received a message from her. One message that I thought was my chance to come back into her life, and then I saw it." Jaehyun sighed deeply, the raw pain reflected in his eyes. "She sent: 'It's about time you stop this, don't tire yourself out."

That broke Yuno once again. It snapped his brain, and I focused on work, endless work, stuck at his place, never having an inch to socialize.

Earlier that morning, Jaehyun had grappled with anxiety before a crucial presentation. He dialled Sienna's number, seeking support, but as he hesitated his thumb hovered, preparing to drop the call. To his surprise, her mom picked up, offering words of encouragement and cheering him on.

"She hasn't told them," Johnny stated bluntly.

"No, and obviously I didn't have the heart to either," Jaehyun admitted, the weight of his emotions palpable. The conversation with Sienna's mom provided a brief respite, helping him get through the day and close a deal with clients.

"You're so down bad for Sienna," Johnny remarked, understanding the depth of his friend's emotions. As Jaehyun struggled to contain his feelings, Johnny encouraged him to let them out.

As if on cue, Jaehyun lets himself slowly reveal the emotions that’s been wanting to gush through his walls.

Well, to be fair, this wasn’t his first time crying. He sure had those little episodes in the craziest random time of the day where Yuno would have a mini breakdown remembering his situation with her.

Believe it or not, there was a particular night when he devestatedly couldn't sleep. He tried everything.

First, Yuno got himself up for a quick jog for him to wear out and took a warm shower, though it only made him feel more alive. So he resumed by drinking some wine as he watched a movie, played soothing music, and even read a book. But, it all went down the drain due to his brain failing to focus.

His last resort was masturbating. With no brainer, of course, he would think of her. Although, the fact that he remembers their moments together, he instead ended up crying that night and which made him fall asleep.

It was not the expected way, but it worked.

"I know I fucked up," Jaehyun confessed, tears flowing freely. "But how exactly? To the point she ended up breaking up with me?" The wounds deepened as he confronted the reality of his mistakes.

Johnny, offering comfort, reassured Jaehyun that Sienna's situation was tough. However, he pointed out that Jaehyun's well-intentioned actions were not executed correctly.

"Always remember this, Yuno. As much as you want to help people, you also have to remember where they're standing from. A good honest deed has a chance to appear as insensitive and patronizing," Johnny advised, hitting the core of the issue.

In the real world, complexities surpassed those of fairy tales and movies. Jaehyun realized he should have communicated with Sienna before assuming he could magically alleviate her problems.

Entering the diner, the music from the speakers greeted her. Setting the vibe already makes her feel at ease with the atmosphere where she’s hanging out tonight. Her gaze stopped wondering as she saw Kyujin and Minghao already sitting. Meanwhile, Seokmin was standing up talking on his phone. He has the right hunch that his friend has work left to discuss.

They greeted her as she put herself comfortably on her seat. She’s with one of her old university buddies. Due to her problem, she couldn’t keep up with her batch graduating on time. Nonetheless, they kept strong connections with each other even if they are now working and she’s back with her University life.

“Seokmin should have left his phone on aeroplane mode,'' Kyujin remarked as she shook her head from side to side. Minghao nodded, however, he pressed the thought “Well to be fair, it might be an emergency with work that he needs to mend.”

“At least he is paid though.” Sienna chimed smiling, Her friends knew for over those two years of her not attending university she was working on her corporate days before and tended to overtime as well. It’s not so different with her university work taking her life after hours, the only thing she was not paid to do overtime may it be her university and unfortunately her corporate days.

“Sorry about that, but no worries it won’t bother our dinner.” he smiled at them, “Give me your phone” Kyujin, as the mom of this group Seokmin simply followed her. “There.” his phone successfully turned out to be in aeroplane mode.

Sienna snorted, Seokmin was astounded by what her friend doing “I said I’m sorry” He pouted “Fine keep it on aeroplane mode. If there’s anything I’ll handle it tomorrow.” he said proudly, “Yeah, handle it on your working hours.'' Minghao, who is also a big advocate of work and life balance, reminded him as he patted his friend's hand.

As the night settles with them, Seokmin opens the topic “Nabi is out right with Jaemin’s family?” On the table while they started to eat their order.

The girl next to her nodded as she ate the cheezy fries ``Yeah and Kai, She has this workshop she needs to attend." She starts to explain her housemate's situation "So basically both of them will not be back until next week.''

With the new information, Kyujin excitedly clapped. “Well then, you have no excuses not to come. It’ll be fun. Besides, Mingyu deserves to have some OG guests.” Kyujin is always amazing at pursuing people and Sienna is always weak for her friend.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to drink this week, take this chance with us. It has free drinks and food anyway.” Comically his brows go up and down. “And you know what free food and drinks taste like.” He ends his last speech of temptation.

“A hit or miss.” She put her tongue out as she deadpans her friend.

Minghao laughed at the banter between Sienna and Seokmin. “We’re aware that you're not reliving the song ‘Stuck with U’ by Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber for letting yourself feel stuffed for a whole month in your apartment. ” He finally joined, even has the gut to make a joke out of her situation pulling a quote-unquote with his hand gestures. However, they were right Sienna when given a chance to stay at her comfort home would make the most out of it.

Although now she's on a dinner date with them; After a month of hibernation, she just now greeted the outside world properly. “It's not my fault that my subjects are eating me up. Besides, earlier I had to attend University onsite so plus points to that and now I’m already with you guys, here eating dinner.” Sienna puckered her lips, still up for this debate despite being conquered by those trio.

Seokmin snorted at Sienna’s last comment “Yeah, right!” letting his hand grab her head and squeeze it as if he was a crane and she’s a toy.

“Sizt no!” Kyujin pouted and shook her head daintily. “How about this since you’re already out of your cocoon, just try to spend some of the days this week outside.” she negotiates with the girl who does not care one bit about Seokmin’s antics as she’s busy munching her ice cream.

“Exactly, just end your week with good vibes, you’re no guard dog.” Minghao with his witty brain could not let her go, when those three come together it’s like Sienna is fighting against the world.

She sighs in front of them, letting her head roll over to her left side finally expressing her being defeated.

As if an accomplished couple made their child have nowhere to go but listen to them, Kyujin and Minghao high-fived each other and held their hands shakingly. It’s their mini-victory move. “If you guys keep being cute, I feel like ants would eat us up.” She joked.

Seokmin looked at the girl next to her cheekily “Oh Sienna, Sienna, Sienna” repeating her name in a sing-song tone, whilst shaking his head playfully. “You just miss someone.”

Minghao covered his mouth, acting surprised. “Offt Seokmin dropping the bomb.” Kyujin teased the fire, showing her actions with her hands dropping.

It’s been 8 months since the breakup.

Sienna squinted her eyes as if throwing daggers at him. “Oh, shut up.” She smacked his left shoulder.

Leaving them chuckling at their antics.

Quickly changing the subject, Sienna sits properly. “Fine, this Saturday I’ll attend Mingyu’s place.” Rolling her eyes dramatically “The booze should be great, or I'm out.”

Despite a busy schedule, Yuno got dragged out for a coffee successfully by his work partner Jungkook before they would drive to meet their client onsite.

Yuno’s eyes glanced at the interior of the cafe, and he stopped when he saw a familiar physique after a long time. It was Sienna focused on her laptop, wearing her signature hoodie with her glasses.

He and Jungkook sat near the cafe counter waiting for their order. The guy simply watched her and couldn't help but still have a longing feeling of adoration.

Of course, she’s not alone, she’s with two people that look like her classmates.

He smiled at his thoughts thinking she also might get dragged outside as well, which she truly needs. Sienna always tends to trap herself in her room, especially on a weekend; little sunlight isn’t enough for her.

Sensing that one of her classmates was about to look around, he avoided his stare at her and exactly with that their little buzzer turned on letting them know that their orders were complete to go.

On the other hand Sienna did mini stretches to her arms as Her eyes slowly looked outside the cafe and saw a familiar back, she steadily recognized when the view of the man got a good side view. “Oh it's Yuno...” she whispered, then it truly sank at her making her eyes widen, almost choking herself while she drank her matcha frappe.

“Omygod— Sienna!” Both of her friends reacted frantic, Giving her all the tissues they have to her.

"You good now? What happened?” Jungwoo queried and looked to where she was staring earlier, but failed to recognize what made their friend go nuts.

Sienna shakes her head “Oh no it’s nothing..” she tries to cover her tracks, could not even think of a proper excuse.

Seungkwan oozes suspicion with the younger girl but lets her know that it’s fine to not be forced to tell.

“I have this event I need to attend.” Jungwoo didn't prolong the weird air, taking the chance to express his dread.

Sienna laughed at the poor puppy. “Isn’t your parents' fundraising event?” Seungkwan recalled their conversation back then. “That's tough. Knowing your parents, they would want it to be perfect.” Sienna bluntly says. “Exactly, it’s going to be a pain in the neck.” Jungwoo rolled his eyes with exaggeration.

She isn’t well into those kinds of grand parties either. It only reminds her back then when she felt she was out of the picture whenever with Yuno.

The only thing she cares about is to support Yuno in whatever journey he has to accomplish, that's why she lets him take her in these events.

Nonetheless, some of the invitees couldn't be bothered hiding their expressions.

It continued until she ended up walking on eggshells while attending these events. She's well aware those people were irrelevant, and Sienna needed to be stronger.

However, with the compilation of Backhanded comments she receives:

"Well in your generation, love matters more."

"Oh darling, you'll have your time."

With those gazes, she could just disappear into thin air as if she were prey.

Little by little it consumed her.

Sienna’s train of thought snapped immediately.

"Earth to Sienna."

Seungkwan patted the girl's shoulder, bringing her back to their conversation.

"Sorry, what?"

Jungwoo pouted more than he could do and continued to ask them. "Are you guys free to be my dates this Saturday?" Hoping that they would agree to be together with his misery just to make something out of it and not worry about socializing much in the event.

"Pass." Seungkwan quickly replied while shaking his head left and right to his friend, "I got other things to assemble from our course organization seminar."

Sienna couldn't help but chuckle at Jungwoo's reaction when he started begging with his actions through his hands. "Sorry, but I have a party to attend as well." Pursing her lips tightly.

Seungkwan grabbed Sienna's left arm, wanting her to mimic the way he waved goodbye towards Jungwoo, "Be strong, Soldier." She played along with the guy next to her and both shared the same smiles with their two cents.

Sienna dressed up a bit, well it’s a party, after all. Her cute black mini dress complimented her heel loafers. She’s not going to lie it’s been a while for her to dress up, and it feels good.

As she stepped into the dimly lit venue, bathed in hues of purple and blue lights, a familiar voice cut through the atmosphere. "Sienna!" Kyujin’s excitement radiated as she embraced her. "Are the other two here already?" she inquired after the warm hug.

"Yup, we can huddle over there, it's much more comfortable."

Navigating their way to the living room, Sienna spotted Minghao and Seokmin, who were already in high spirits, sitting side by side with welcoming smiles.

"For a minute I thought you backed out." Minghao teased, earning a giggle from Kyujin.

Minghao's knack for reading people was, as always, on point. Sienna was hesitating for a moment at the entrance, with her heart pounding with uncertainty. The decision to attend this gathering had been a last-minute contemplation. She knew a few faces in the crowd, but it was the ghost of him that lingered in her thoughts. Earlier that day, an unexpected wave of nostalgia engulfed her, triggering what she reluctantly dubbed a "relapse." She found herself tumbling down a rabbit hole of old photos and videos, relics of a time when they were entwined in each other's lives.

As she stood there, the weight of unanswered questions pressed upon her. Were the people around her aware of the demise of their once-shared world? A shiver of anxiety ran down her spine at the mere thought of being questioned about a love that now existed only in fragments of the past.

Eight months had passed, yet the grip he held on her heart remained unyielding. The invisible threads of their history continued to bind her, leaving Sienna entangled in a web of longing and unresolved emotions.

"Aye, don't be like that," she chuckled, waving her hand dismissively. "I even brought snacks." Seokmin, ever observant, noticed the packaging. "Oh! I guess the lady at that sweet shop was your mom then."

Sienna looked curious to him wanting him to continue. "Your mom was carrying a navy blue handbag right?" Sienna vividly remembers making her head nod.

Seokmin already felt proud with his keen eyes, no wonder the lady was familiar to him.

"I was in front of the store parking lot and got a glimpse of your mom Entering the store." He pointed out the sweet shop's name.

Her mom visited her earlier to personally break the news that her mom's land had already been sold with a very great offer. She expressed how she was so thankful that they waited and did not rush the selling of their property which led them to accumulate a huge deal.

In celebration, her mom remembers her daughter tends to like honey biscuits as the reason why she was at a sweet shop. Little did her mom know that the reason why she liked them was because Jaehyun influenced her since it was his childhood favourite sweets.

That was the trigger for her to this party since she had the feeling she would just dwell on her emotions at home alone. Distraction is highly needed.

After a couple of hours, Jaehyun arrived at the scene of the party. Mingyu greeted the guy and pointed to where Sienna was located.

Earlier, Mingyu had noticed Sienna alone in the corner of his sofa, engaging in a conversation with herself. Even to the untrained eye, it was apparent she had indulged a bit too much in the festivities. Her body tends to flop side to side with her head spinning lightly.

The three musketeers that she was with beginning at the party left earlier, and because of still not wanting her to leave early she stayed besides she put an excuse that some of the people she knew here she wanted to catch up.

Out of concern, he immediately contacted Yuno. Mingyu is one of those people who are not updated with the situation of the two people.

Yuno swiftly appeared in front of the lady, whose now trying her best to stay awake by softly slapping her cheeks and opening her eyes wide. In response, Jaehyun sighed and approached her, wrapping his flannel around her—his way of acknowledging how chilly she could get.

“You’re drunk, let’s go home.”

Sienna, with a pout, insisted, "I'm not drunk, just tipsy... I can still take it." She reached for her cup, but Jaehyun lightly caught her hand. "Sienna, please..." he pleaded. Reluctantly, she let go of the cup, covering her face with her hands. "Ugh, you're so boring; I don't want to go home yet." Despite her wobbly stance, a stark contrast to her claim of sobriety, she stood up.

Giggling, she attempted to stare at Jaehyun. Her brain, clouded by sweet toxins, transformed her surroundings into a hazy spectacle. Jaehyun, seizing the opportunity, gently gripped her figure securely and let her follow his body towards the exit. “You can get whiny when you're drunk.”

She bit her bottom lip, staring at him as her eyebrows furrowed. “N-No, I'm not” she chirped yet Jaehyun could still hear her as how close their bodies were now, he was left only to chuckle at her attitude.

Jaehyun was wearing his beanie and glasses, matching them up with the dim party lights, as to why Sienna has slow recognition due to her alcohol influence. However, her sixth sense just lets her guard down due to familiarity.

Pulling up to the car, Sienna settled herself comfortably in the front passenger seat. Jaehyun reached for the blanket tucked at the back and gently draped it over her figure.

“Can we open the window?” Sienna peered outside, where the street lights cast a soft glow. Jaehyun obliged, clicking the switch to let in the cool night air.

“Better?” He questioned, as he eased the car into motion.

She closed her eyes, letting the refreshing breeze envelop her. After stealing a glance at Jaehyun, she responded with a serene, "Yeah."

Fully aware now that she was in the company of Yuno, Sienna marvelled at how her instincts had effortlessly guided her away from the crowd and toward him.

“Is anybody at your home right now?" Hearing him, Sienna shakes her head slowly, her eyes remaining closed to contain the lingering dizziness.

"Both of them are out of town."

Jaehyun hummed in agreement, his thoughtful expression barely visible in the dimly lit car. "I can't leave you alone at your house. You should rest at my place instead, He declared that if there's an argument needed to be brought up it would be useless.

With Sienna's mind in its current state, his decisiveness didn't bother her. It was a welcome assurance amid the swirl of emotions she grappled with.

They both slowly entered Yuno’s place, easily passing by the lounge area to his private room. Letting the lady sit as he turned on the lamp next to his bed.

He took some cotton pads and makeup remover. It's been a while since he opened this particular side of his nightstand, back then it was her side of the bed anyway.

His hands gingerly swipe the damped cotton throughout her face, she looks entrapped by his aura, The way his eyes twitched and and his bottom lip bitting due to his hyperfocus, it might not be obvious but with her hazy view she could see behind his glasses are eyebags that has been a bit more obvious. With this situation, it brings back memories as if it were only yesterday.

"They're all clean." he huffs proudly as he returns the essentials to its container, "Let me get you some water." Before he could even get up, Sienna stole a kiss from him, jaehyun was caught off guard he flinched and stared at her flushed self his eyes roamed from her sombre eyes gradually to her lips, breathing against each other– the air thick with anticipation.

Leisurely discarding his glasses, he leaned toward her. Eventually, his instincts couldn't resist the magnetic pull of the moment, and he found himself reciprocating the kiss. His dominant hand found the nape of her neck, while the left rested on her waist.

Amidst the fog of sweet alcohol lingering from her system invading his space of mind. the kiss deepened, and their bodies drew dangerously closer within seconds.

With that snap of realization, Yuno stopped the act, dazed by her.

He would do anything for her, he constantly yearned for her even after all that happened. Yet, he refused to take advantage of her vulnerability. As he struggled to formulate the words he needed to convey, he grappled with the elusive thoughts.

He wanted to reassure her, to make her understand. But his brain seemed to be on strike, rendering him helpless.

Cold sweats build up over him, He suddenly feels like a teen boy who's in front of his huge crush.

"Sienna, I—" His words were abruptly cut short as she averted her eyes, rising slowly. As she hastened away, he found himself perplexed by the startling shift, his body instinctively following her.

Realizing the toilet room lights were open, he moved fast behind her. Already hiding how flustered he is.

Efficiently gathering her hair into a ponytail as she faced the toilet— letting out the toxins from her system. he offered a comforting rub on her back. His eyes fell on the drawer beneath the counter, remembering the hair ties she had left behind. He snatched one and secured her hair.

Perhaps, it had always been the right choice not to clean out the stuff she kept in his place.

"Take it easy," he hummed, attempting to access a smaller drawer, anticipating a towel within. All the while, he continued to rub her back, providing solace amid the discomfort.

With the final flush from the toilet, she ceased her ordeal. Jaehyun proactively used the towel to dab at her mouth. "Feeling better?" he asked, focused on the task.

She nodded, touching his hands and prompting him to halt. "I'm sorry," she sighed, closing her eyes and braving the persistent dizziness. His gaze softened, taking in her disheveled appearance, the messy ponytail he had made, her droopy eyes, and her flushed figure.

“Let’s go to bed—” he cleared his throat “Let’s take you to bed, you need to rest up hmm?.”

Her body went near him, and put her head on his chest “Don’t leave….” He looked down, already feeling his shirt getting drenched.

She is already crying.

He patted her head. "I won't," he assured, breathing heavily. "I won't leave you alone… so let’s go to bed." With a controlled but strained voice, he subdued the surging emotions.

Carrying her to bed, he tucked her in gently. Although he yearned to lie beside her, this wasn't the opportune moment. He settled beside the bed on his rug, holding her hand, watching over her. As he hummed softly, he moved strands of hair away from her face, his quiet presence coaxing a serene expression onto her face.

Even in mere proximity, he found solace.

The sunlight tiptoed into the room, gently rousing Sienna from her deep slumber. A momentary panic seized her when her eyes landed on a head resting at the edge of the bed. Quickly regaining composure, she realized Yuno was sleeping on the floor beside her. His head lay on the mattress, while his body occupied the floor.

Her heartbeat slowed, confusion swirling in her mind as she tried to make sense of the situation. Battling a hangover headache, she opened her eyes gently, fixating on the man's face. It had been too long since she allowed herself to bask in the sight of him, and the ache of missing him resurfaced.

Almost by instinct, her hand lightly caressed his bangs, now dyed in a darker shade. Moving to his eyebrows and eyes, the familiarity felt both comforting and oddly unfamiliar after all this time.

His eyes twitched slightly, signalling his impending awakening. As her brain flashed fragments of memories from the previous night, embarrassment coursed through her.

Jaehyun's eyes fluttered open, meeting hers. Sensing her staring fixed on his lips, he gently grabbed her hand, preventing her from retracting her actions. "You're awake," she timidly said, attempting to downplay the significance of her actions.

She didn't get an immediate response, but now it was Yuno's turn to observe her. Despite having done the same the night before, this morning ritual fed his yearning for the simple moments they used to share.

"Do-Don't just stare at me like that," she uttered, biting her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. After a comfortable silence, she replied, "Don't bother, it's not like it's a big thing," avoiding his piercing stare, her cheeks flushing with warmth.

He shook his head slowly. "I have a lot to say sorry for."

Puzzled, her mind hinted at their last fight, the night they broke up. "I understand. It's not my decision to make."

"I should have talked with you before acting out my will with this, especially when it’s strongly sensitive for you… “ His voice became small but he needs to take accountability.

“I was selfish. I figured since I have the privilege to save up, all I could think was part of my savings was all about you."

"I should have known better."

Sienna always loved how pure this guy can get. She recognized the sincerity of his intentions. “I was too defensive and insecure to begin with every time I could see how people view us. I love how they take pride in you for what you do, but when I’m in the picture with you I could feel they always have this impression in our relationship that I’m not enough for you."

"I felt embarrassed, my inferiority complex burst." her eyes welled with emotion.

"You know I struggled to ask for help, and I always tried to conquer that, but when our last fight happened, it got me overwhelmed. It was an extreme gesture, and it felt like you were forcing me to be someone I'm not prepared to be." With his sincerity, she felt attacked and unsafe at that time. She was clouded by her negative thoughts and forgot she had him all this time – he was there to pick her up when she was feeling blue.

Yuno softened his gaze at her, “I’m sorry. I was so blinded and didn’t reassure you enough about our relationship, that it got to your thoughts. I don’t care about them, and I know it will be tough for you to immediately not care. So I’ll do my best to be there for you– reminding you to think of me and only me when you doubt, and I will never get tired of making you feel secure.”

She nodded and continued, "I’m fully aware that I have a lot on my plate, especially back then, working to support my family and myself." Her voice cracked as she struggled to compose herself. "And it's just so embarrassing how I know you so well. You’ve always wanted to help me— you’ve always been there, whether I’m struggling financially or whatever situation I'm facing. I just couldn’t take the bullet of reality that I needed to accept. “

Her eyes continued to sting. With every word she spilt, tears flowed down her cheeks.

He was the sunshine she couldn't handle.

"But I broke it. I promised you a slow and steady relationship."

Sienna looked at him stunned, he remembers.

“See you’re a guy who has a light that shouldn't be tainted.” she blurted out, sniffing.

Jaehyun shook his head slowly. Vividly his dimples, and a reassured smile carved his lips. “Sienna when I’m with you. I’m only a normal guy, a guy who loves you deeply, who wants to be with you.” He caressed her cheeks, gingerly wiping away the tears that streamed from her eyes.

Heart fluttering, realising once again that's she is truly in love with this person.

"I'll do better to make myself be deserving of you; I'll work hard.” She firmly stated, Her innocent orbs now filled with passion. “You did receive the money earlier, right?” After meeting her mom, Sienna transferred the money he paid for her university fees.

"You're more than enough, and I will always support you." Jaehyun held her hand tightly, bringing it close to his mouth. “And then, for the meantime, I’ll keep the money in my savings. That will be for us in the future.” He planted a soft kiss on her hand as if sealing a promise of his commitment.

“Besides, all I ever want is for you to spend your time with me – grow old together.” He whispered, his eyes reflecting a future filled with shared unwavering love. With those words, he painted a canvas of a lifetime. Sienna's heart swelled with a mix of emotions, and as they embraced, they both knew that their love story was not just a chapter but a timeless journey of growing old together.

I hope you guys enjoyed it!꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

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lavender-z-love · 1 year

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Knock On

Jaehyun X Black.FemReader

☁️ Genre: Fluff, Confession, Idol Lovers

✨️ Warnings: Nothing I don't think, Let me know

☁️ A/n: This was supposed to be posed on December 15th but today is the 16th of January- Anyway I wanted to make something sweet so please enjoy

✨️ Wordcount: About 900

"Wow! The moon is so pretty Tonight!"

Your jaw drops in amazement. The natural satellite, gleaming unusually brighter than usual. Such elegance and charming without it doing much. Jaehyun had brought you to the roof top of the SM's Parking-Lot building. Your fellow Idol friend, asking to spend time with you after a collab. Your friendship growing day by day, it was safe to say Jaehyun was more than ever a big supporter of yours.

He watched you lean against the cement wall/ledge, to get a better look. Your elbows placed on the small wall, you held your chin in the palm of your hands. The stars reflected in your beautiful doe eyes. Jaehyun had to face it, looked like you were more invested in the night sky than him. Jaehyun didn't complain about it though, still you looked absolutely breathtaking. The way the wind blows, as the moonlight glistens upon you. Your dress danced in the delicate wind, shining, giving an illusion you were an angel.

Your jet black hair..its satiny coils which stopped mid-black also had been carressed by the wind. Jaehyun hopped down from the hood of the car he'd been observing you from. As if it wasn't hard enough already to not constantly think about you..or bashful at the sight of you. Tonight he could feel it in his heart; there was no hope for sleep, you lived rent-free inside it. Now standing next to you, it honestly made him timid.

"How are you enjoying the view?"

You sighed in delight,"Oh it's wonderful!" Jaehyun wished you'd look at him like that. You turned to him, revealing a sincere smile. He knew it was genuine and that made him very happy. Your bronzed skin, smooth and airbrushed in the celestial body's light. "Oh! Jae-Sunbae! I hope you dont mind, but I brought you some wine as a gift!"

"Of course. Though, you didn't have to Y/n. Also, please! No need to be so formal with me."

"What? No! I don't mind! Besides, why not?". You playfully winked,"As a matter in fact, celebration is in order!" Jaehyun laughed, receiving his glass. His lips part as the wine glass slips between them. Infact this time, you too become flustered and not because of the wine. Your eyes quickly move back to the sky. Jaehyun hummed as a response,"Its really good!"

"No cheers first?",you laughed.

Jaehyun smiled wryly, and stopped drinking quickly. "Right, Sorry"..He said scratching the back of his neck.

"No, No- I was just teasing Sunbae",you said reassuring him. The both of you walk and take rest against Jaehyun's car, taking seat on top of the hood. Enjoying a nice evening ambience. Jaehyun eventually taking notice that you were shivering. In a swift motion, he takes his jacket off, draping it on your shoulders. You pulled the jacket together, amused,"Sunbae I appreciate the gesture, but aren'tyou cold?"

Jeahyun, scoots a bit closer. Helping you zip up the jacket. "No I'm fine. Though, this is nothing, Im capable of much more than you think, Y/n". He smiled, keeping his eyes on you. "Much more you say? Like what?",you asked as you adjusting the jacket. You were cute, asking him little questions.

"Oh well—cooking, cleaning, I'm a huge romantic.." Suprised to hear him playfully respond back. You were speechless, gazing back at him with a light pink hue. "Seems like, there was competition between me and the moon, for your attention."

"Competition?"

"Mhm..Looks like Ive finally won too."

Hiding behind your hair, embarrassed by the things he's saying. Jaehyun's no idiot, the two of you have been working on a collaboration for a while if anything, he's come to have an idea of what your habits are. One of them being when you're shy, you use your hair to hide. His hand carefully reaching over to brush your locks out of your face and behing your ear.

"You're right Y/n, The moon is absolutely beautiful tonight", Jaehyun Sung. Realizing that, the phrase that Jaehyun just said had another meaning. "Sunbae!", You yelp gently pushing his shoulder. "You shouldn't say things like that!" You covered you mouth, shocked by his sudden confession. "Y-You've clearly had enough to drink", You declared soon attempt to take his glass away from him. Though when you placed your hand on the wine glass, Jaehyun stopped you. Placing his slender fingers on yours. There it was that Princely smile he'd given you many times before, but for some reason..this time was different.

Finding your reaction quite enjoyable, he soon spoke up,"Im serious Y/n..I'm not speaking to you as your 'Sunbae'..but as Yuno." Your eyes widened, shocked.. "But..Im-" you were swiftly cut off,"I don't mind one bit."

You averted your gaze, looking down at your fiddling fingers..You liked him, you did- "God you're embarrassing.."

Jaehyun blessed you with that cute angelic laugh. He was now standing in front of you. One hand on your left and the other on your right. He leans in a little,"So? What do you say?"

Why, why was he like this. Speaking of which...the atmosphere so beautiful when he asked you, almost like the universe had this planned for you. The moon illuminates his skin giving him such a glow. There was no pressure into anything you didn't want. You were just taking in this masterpiece in front of you.

Your answer was with certainly, you attempted to hide your bashfulness. "Yes, I-I'd love to."

A cheeky grin, from ear to ear. "Tell me if this is too bold of a move, I'll stop If you're uncomfortable.." He leans in, holding his hand up to your left cheek. Soft strokes with his thumb on your skin. His lips now, embedded on your right cheek. You were definitely flushed though because of the night sky, it went unnoticeable.

Jaehyun pulls away, slightly tugging at your hands. He placing them around his neck, and he went back to his previous position. Leaning forward with his hands on either side of you.

"So.."

"So?"

"What's our first deed as a couple?"

You look to the sky thinking,"Err..Um– promise me."

He raises his pinkie to you,"Of?" His action catches you off guard. 'He's so cute!' You thought to yourself. "Keep me happy...Treat me right." You raise your pinky, linking it to his.

"I, Jung Jaehyun, Promise to keep you happy...I'll keep you elated, I'll make you more than happy. I will treat you right, Y/n."

"Sunbae–"

Your pinkies fall,"My turn, ditch the 'Sunbae' Jaehyun, Yuno, or a pet name will do."

He lifts his his opposite pinkie,"Um..Sunb–"

He stops you, waving his pinkie,"uh uh uh..Promise me." With your eyes semi-closed you glare at him. 'Hmm...I guess.' Now linking your pinkie with his again. "Okay then deal."

"Deal", your fingers fall. His eyes glow with endearment. He was willing and ready to make you happy. "What do you say we pick this up from tomorrow? Maybe with a date?"

You nod shyly,"Yes..I like the sound of that."

Written on December 15th 2022

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neoyunoia · 1 month

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#kpop #seulgi #jaehyun #2nd gen kpop #girlgroup #music #spotify #kang seulgi #jung jaehyun #xiaoting #jeong jaehyun #yuno #shen xiaoting #kpop moodboard #cozy aesthetic #aesthetic moodboard #food #cute #Spotify

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gingrrfrog · 2 years

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Shortly after their wedding, Jaehyun had to come to the idea that he was to become a father before he could ever learn to become a good man. With doubts clouding his mind and fear ever present, all he could think about every night was her.

jaehyun x jihyun (oc) -- wc: 8.4k

warnings: angst?

February 12th

Six Years Ago

“Jeong Jaehyun, come to bed,” Jihyun’s stern voice came from the walkie-talkie next to him. He smiled and took it in his hands.

“Give me ten minutes, baby.”

“Ten minutes or I’ll roll to you. I’m starting the timer.”

He snorted and went back to his work, his chin supported by the palm of his hand. A business proposal was due the first week of May, sometime near Jihyun’s due date. He made sure everything went according to plan knowing that he would be occupied for the entire month of April to make sure Jihyun was comfortable and ready to give birth.

Sometime last week, however, the couple rushed to the hospital due to bleeding and painful cramps in her waist. The panic led to tests, and the tests found that Jihyun’s placenta covered at least a fourth of her cervix, blocking the entrance completely. To prevent it from moving any further or risking detachment, she was put on bedrest until the end of her term.

Luckily, there hadn’t been any bleeding since then, but Jihyun was bored out of her mind, only being allowed to move around the span of their room and their bathroom. No work, no strenuous exercise, and absolutely no sex. Jaehyun hadn’t minded, but Jihyun nearly tore out her hair—how else was she going to cure her libido?

“The timer ended,” Jihyun said over radio. “I’m giving you ten seconds before I take a snow sled down there.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, “I’m coming.”

Before leaving his office, he grabbed his laptop from his bag and dragged himself up the stairs where he found Jihyun sitting in an armchair in the corner of the room, her feet propped up on the ottoman with sliced mango in her hand, chewing rather obnoxiously.

“Can we trade spots?” He asked, laughing at Jihyun’s narrowed eyes. “What?”

“This is my pregnant chair. You can sit on the bed or on the floor.”

“It didn’t hurt to ask,” he mumbled, more to himself than to her. He sat on the bed anyway and opened his computer up, waiting for the archaic device to boot up before logging in. He had more than enough money to buy another but shuffling everything into a new computer would be more hassle than none and continued to use the computer until its end.

“When I said come to bed, I meant so we could go to sleep,” Jihyun pouted, slipping inside their bed. “Not for you to bring your work upstairs.”

“What’s the point of you making me sit on the bed if you were going to get into bed anyway?” He ignored her.

Jihyun whined and deepened her pout, turning so that her back faced him and the comforter was pulled over her chin. “Fine, ignore me.”

Before he placed his laptop on the nightstand, he smiled, his hand finding hers under the sheets, “I can’t go to bed, I’m not tired. If you want to sleep, that’s fine, I’ll stay here with you while you sleep.”

Jihyun peeked behind her, “I want to cuddle.”

“We can do that too.” He added, kissing her forehead.

He laid there silently and ran his fingers through her hair while she took steady breaths. Jihyun’s breathing always varied on her dreams. Usually, her breathing would be small breaths and occasional sighs while she slept, but he knew once she hiccuped that she wasn’t asleep and it wasn’t until he felt her wet eyelashes on his arm that he knew.

“What’s wrong?”

Jihyun shook her head and pressed her face into his chest. Jaehyun patted her head.

“I’m just a little sad,” she sniffed, wiping her eyes quickly. “I don’t really know why, but I want to cry right now.”

“It’s alright to cry, baby. You can cry, Jihyun.”

“I think I’m tired,” she laughed, using his shirt to wipe her tears, “It’s been a long week and I’m glad it’s over. Now all I have to do is live the same week, over and over again, until May.”

“Which is…fine,” Jihyun croaked and cried in his chest again, her hands clasped and grabbing handfuls of his shirt. “I-it’s okay, I’m just crying to—”

Jihyun choked out another sob and wrapped her arms around his waist. Jaehyun frowned and held her close, rubbing his hand in between her shoulder blades and listened to her weep until her loud sobs were reduced to small sniffles and shaky breathing. Once relieved, he pulled away to hold her face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe tears away from the dark circles under her eyes, kissing her nose.

“I’m sorry it’s hard,” Jaehyun said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

It was an unbearable load to carry, he imagined. They haven’t been married for yet a year and Jaehyun was beginning to think the whirlwind of their life impacted Jihyun not only mentally, but physically. Of course he loved her, of course he adored her, but marriage was difficult in the sense that he now had to find time to pay attention to his wife on top of his business that threatened to crumble at any second.

On top of work, and on top of marriage, a new life had been thrown at them before they were even sure they wanted to be parents and Jaehyun would never, ever force Jihyun to do something she didn’t want to do. So, he accepted this rapid new stage of his life and accepted the terms that he was to become a father before he could ever learn to be a good husband.

What if he turned out to be his father? What if the baby didn’t like him? What if it decides to follow his footsteps and become a menace to society? What if—?

“Oh,” Jihyun pulled away and wiped her eyes again, “she’s moving again. She’s probably telling me to shut up.”

“She is?” He asked, placing his hand on her tummy. Jaehyun took a deep breath. She, she, she, Hyerim, Hyerim, Hyerim. Jeong Hyerim, that’s my daughter, yes, that’s right. My daughter…?

Not it, he reminded himself. She. Hyerim. “Is it weird, for you? I mean, obviously, it’s weird, to have something grow and to know you’re going to push it out of your vagina. But is it weird to think that you’re going to be a,” Jaehyun swallowed, “y’know—”

Jihyun watched him with careful eyes, “What? A mom?”

He nodded, “Yeah. Is that weird?”

“It’s no weirder than accepting you’re going to be a dad,” Jihyun mentioned. “Which, I have the sneaking suspicion you haven’t accepted yet.”

“I don’t think I’m a dad. My wife so happens to be pregnant, and I’m just…here. Watching her suffer because I wanted to cum inside her.”

He flinched at the pinch to his arm.

“Talk to her.”

“To whom?”

“To the baby,” Jihyun said with a scoff. He was relieved that she stopped crying.

“Why would I talk to her? It’s not like she can hear me.”

“She has ears, Jaehyun. She can hear you. All she does is kick when you scold me.”

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes. He lowered his head to the swell of her stomach and stared at it, making fierce eye contact with her belly button before glancing up at Jihyun, “What do I say?”

“Whatever you want. It’ll make it feel more real, probably. Maybe then you can consider it a baby and not just a tumor in my stomach.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes next, “I don’t consider the baby a tumor. Maybe more like…a parasite—ow!”

“Speak.” She ordered.

He snorted. He leaned in and pressed his ear against her and heard nothing. If she was moving, she probably wasn’t anymore.

“Hello?” He said. Jaehyun looked up at Jihyun for reassurance and pulled away when she rolled her eyes. “What? I’m doing what you said?”

“It’s not like she’ll answer you back, Dumbass. Just, talk to her, comfortably.”

“It’s a little hard when you’re judging me and pressuring me.” He grumbled.

Jihyun sighed and shifted her weight so that she laid on the other side, her back facing him again but this time curled against her pregnancy pillow, “I’m going to sleep, try it then. Or tomorrow, or the day after that. You know where I’ll be.”

Jaehyun tried to compensate for his awkward-ness by kissing up her spine and stopping at the nape of her neck. “Sorry, it’s weird.”

She smiled at him sleepily and held his cheek behind her, craning her neck to kiss him. “I know. It’s fine, I was kidding, mostly.”

“I love you,” he said against her lips.

“Me too,” Jihyun yawned and pulled the comforter back over her shoulder. “Hyerim does too. She told me.”

Jaehyun froze.

The baby will love him too. What a strange thought to have. Strange enough for him to dream about, to visualize a baby that looked just like him, with long raven hair and dressed in a stiff, black dress.

Her shoes matched her dressed and shined from the surrounding light, her arms crossed and staring off in the distance. When Jaehyun approached her, she snatched her arm away from him and scoot farther away. Jaehyun’s eyebrows knit together before he found himself in a funeral home, Jihyun’s picture standing next to a beautifully ornate urn, covered in wreaths of flowers.

“It’s all your fault!” She screamed, “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”

What was he thinking?! He’s barely a man he could never be a father! Only four years ago he was coked out of his mind, drinking to forget the pain of being left alone and now, he’s supposed to function like a normal, functioning adult? Was he supposed to wake up one morning and just be a perfect husband? The perfect father—?!

“Jaehyun!”

His eyes flashed open to see Jihyun hovering over him, her palm running over his sweat ridden face, “Honey, you’re drenched.”

“Sorry,” he croaked, noticing the tips of his hair wet. “I didn’t know I would sweat this much or else I would’ve turned off the electric blanket.”

“You run hot anyway,” Jihyun chided, “don’t leave it on overnight. You’re going to kill us both with an electrical short.”

He smiled and pushed back his sweaty hair, “I’m going to shower. Is there anything that you want for breakfast?”

Jihyun shook her head and fell back in the blankets, her eyes closing, “Nope. Ah, actually, I would like a few more onions in my omelet this time. Can you like, really burn them though? Not caramelized I want them burnt.”

“Sure, do you want cheese this time?”

Jihyun shuddered, her mind flashing back to the heartburn she had the night before, “No, no cheese, please.”

Jaehyun yawned without saying another word, getting up to shower and prepare for his day. Much of his day used to revolve around going to the office, coming back, and then spending some of his evening inside his home office until the end of the night. Up until the scare, Jihyun had been fine with the schedule, and often sat in the same room with him while he worked, reading new information on recipes and food blogs that people have posted.

Now, however, the mere idea of leaving Jihyun alone was enough to make his skin crawl and his hands to sweat. What if she needed him while he was gone? What if something else went wrong? Although Jihyun told him she was fine, they both knew deep down that she needed him, if not physically, then emotionally, just to let her know that she wasn’t alone.

Granted, Jihyun’s parents were frequent visits, keeping her company if there was a meeting he had to attend, but otherwise, Jaehyun stayed home for as long as he could.

After cooking onions until they were a charred brown, Jaehyun shoved the aromatic vegetable on top of an omelet, making sure to stuff with as many other vegetables as well as a prenatal powder that she skipped on because of its taste. Jaehyun snuck it in several times, and he’s found that if she eats her prenatal vitamin, she tends to be less nauseous and less likely to have dizzy spells—she didn’t know any better, what with the mushrooms and the burnt onion, she would never find out.

Back upstairs, Jaehyun sat on her side of the bed and placed her plate on the nightstand, shaking her shoulder gently and watching her blink rapidly and focus on the person in front of her. She groaned out loud, an arm thrown over her eyes.

“I was having the best dream.”

“Which one would that be?”

“The one where you bend me over and fuck me until I cry,” she whined, “if it weren’t for my shitty cervix, I could be having the pounding of a lifetime.”

“Give it a few more months,” he said, kissing her ear. “I’m saving it all for you.”

Jihyun shuddered, “It’ll be a few months after I give birth until I can have sex again.”

“I waited four years. What’s a few months?” Jaehyun added, a wry smile on his lips before he kissed her quickly. “Eat your breakfast, baby. I have a video call to attend, so I should be out of commission for a few hours. Will you be alright?”

“Just horny,” she sighed. “Are you going to finish before lunch?”

“I should. If not, I’ll bring my computer with me to the kitchen and I’ll bring you something to eat.”

“Will you eat with me?”

“Of course, I will.”

Jihyun smiled faintly and puckered her lips for a kiss, one that Jaehyun gave her quickly. “Have a good day. I’ll be here when you’re done.”

“If you need anything let me know.”

Jihyun yawned and nodded, allowing her husband to wrap the blankets around her again. It really was a cold day, the sky gray with heavy clouds that threatened snow. He set the heated blanket to its lowest setting and listened to Jihyun’s soft hum before her breathing steadied into its usual choppy rhythm.

He suddenly wished he didn’t need to attend the video call, especially seeing Jihyun asleep so soundly. But, there was work to be done. When the clock struck ten thirty, Jaehyun found himself in his chair in his office, finding Johnny on the screen, Sicheng on the screen, as well as a few of his executive under him. Taeil was there too, the New York skyline shimmering in the distance as he was surely the only one left in his office that late at night.

“Right,” Jaehyun tried his best to stifle a yawn behind his fist, “Let’s get this started then. I’m pulling up the proposal that marketing sent me yesterday, can you walk me through what you have? I think I understand, but I need clarification.”

“Of course, Mr. Jeong. To start the amusement park, we started with demographic…”

And so started his day. He listened diligently to each proposal idea and took notes on the margins. He asked for clarifications and asked for data before asking the financial team what it would take to complete these plans. If those were in check, he asked Johnny what the legal team could do about patents. Once patents were cleared and promised, Taeil was in charge keeping the New York team up to date and how they could help from halfway across the world all while Sicheng nearly broke his hand taking notes himself.

Soon enough, two hours later, the meeting was finished as the executives logged off and Johnny, Sicheng and Taeil remained. They quickly talked about the business and the next steps before they logged off next, opting to keep their illicit business ideas short and curt on online calling and in depth whenever they were in person.

By that point, Jaehyun’s stomach was growling, and he found himself in the kitchen, munching on an apple and a cheese stick before going upstairs to find Jihyun asleep still.

Her breathing slowed down some, snoring delicately into Jaehyun’s pillow that she had tightly grasped. He placed a hand on her belly before kissing her forehead, his hand rubbing in slow circles before he pressed a kiss to her belly button.

He froze again. That was new.

Before Jaehyun could dwell any longer, he shook her shoulder and kissed her softly, brushing stray hair from her forehead before she asked groggily what was wrong.

“It’s lunch time, baby. Are you hungry?”

Jihyun shook her head, “My stomach hurts and I’m tired.”

Jaehyun grimaced, “Okay. Do you want me to let you sleep more?”

A nod this time.

“Can I nap with you?”

Jihyun nodded again and scoot over, allowing Jaehyun to shuffle into bed with her. He really was exhausted, and it took him no time to fall asleep under the warmth of the heated blanket.

This time, there were no dreams about a dead wife, or his daughter cursing him for being alive. They were beautifully mundane, dreaming of times where they would have dinner without the worry of a placenta breaking or some other outlandish worry. They were free to walk around town, hand in hand, and sleep in whatever position they wanted. It was so beautiful that it pained Jaehyun to wake up to his timer that he set earlier, waking up before he had to go back to work.

Surely, Jihyun had slept long enough, and he moved to shake her awake.

She groaned in protest, shaking her head. “I don’t want lunch, Jaehyun.”

“You should eat, though, Jihyun.” He tried, sitting up and moving the blanket off her.

Jihyun argued with him and shook her head, shivering violently, “It’s freezing.”

“You’re probably low on your iron again,” he said next, grabbing her hand and being surprised at how warm her hands were.

Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed together as his hands traveled up her arm to her elbow, to her neck, before finally stopping at her forehead. The heat was evenly distributed throughout her body, and Jaehyun was beginning to think the heated blanket had nothing to do with it. “Why do you have a fever, Jihyun?”

“I don’t know.” She mumbled, cuddling closer to his warmth. “I just don’t feel good.”

“What else do you feel?” Jaehyun stood up from bed and loomed over her, his hands against her cheeks to make sure that he wasn’t making up the heat that radiated from her head. He quickly turned off the heated blanket in case it caused her harm. “Jihyun?”

“Hm?”

“What else do you feel, baby?”

A sharp breath ripped through Jaehyun’s lips upon removing the blanket. Under her, the sheets were stained a deep maroon, creating a circle around her hips and seeping through her pajama bottoms. He swallowed harshly, holding his breath while helping Jihyun to sit up.

“’M just tired,” she whispered, “…gonna go back to sleep.”

“We’re going to the hospital, alright? Is that alright?”

Jihyun nodded her head limply.

“You have to stand, Jihyun, baby, you have to help me.” He pleaded, “Can you stand, Gigi?”

Jihyun shook her head.

A slur of swears and curses fell from his lips before he lifted her onto her feet, but even after he managed to do so, her knees buckled under her, failing to support her own weight and falling into his arms. He lifted her into his arms as quickly as he could, forgetting the baby bag that they packed in their closet and running towards the garage.

The snow that was threatened earlier left a small dusting on the ground, not enough to cause traffic, but enough to make Jaehyun that much more nervous while buckling Jihyun up. His own blood ran cold when he felt the temperature of her hands quickly drop from warm to lukewarm, until they were just as cold as the ice outside. Jaehyun knew this sign well, as all he could do was kiss her fingers and breathe forgotten prayers into her hands.

“Stay with me, Gigi,” he begged, squeezing her arm next. “Okay? We’re going to the hospital now, alright? The doctor is going to take it out of you, and you’ll be better, he’ll make it better, okay, baby? All you have to do is stay awake, Jihyun, that’s all you have to do, my love.”

His breathing stuttered when she did not respond. He held her cool palm to his lips in hopes to warm them up.

He called his in-laws on the way to the hospital, his voice breaking in panic before he entered the hospital, where nurses quickly wheeled Jihyun into an elevator to the labor and delivery. He answered every question as swiftly as he could before he entered the room with Jihyun and their doctor.

“She’s losing blood,” the doctor said to the nurse. “She needs an IV, quickly.”

The nurse nodded and left the room, all while Jaehyun twisted his wedding ring around his finger, trailing closely behind the doctor as he walked around the room. “What’s happened? What’s going on?”

Jaehyun studied the ultrasound in front of him, and while he didn’t understand the black and white blobs, he could hear the baby’s heart, from quick gentle thumps like he heard before to rapid, unsteady quips.

“The baby’s placenta has detached from Jihyun’s cervix completely, which has led to a hemorrhage in one of her blood vessels. If we don’t perform a c-section now, we run the risk of losing the baby.”

“W-what about her? What about Jihyun?” He stammered, his heart beating wildly out of his chest. “She’ll be fine? Right?”

“We’ll be going into surgery to fix the hemorrhage, of course. As soon as I have more information, you’ll be the first to know.”

The doctor held out his hand and placed a small ring in the middle of Jaehyun’s palm. Her wedding ring. Any attempt to hold back his tears failed at this point.

“I’ll let you know as soon as we’re done,” the doctor soothed.

“If…” Jaehyun’s breath came out in a short gasp as his vision slowly became blurred. “If…it comes down to one, save her. Please, save my wife.”

His doctor gave him a somber look before nodding.

Jaehyun staggered backwards and fell in a stiff, plastic chair, his hands catching his head while he wept into her ring.

The snow swirled in violent circles, piling higher and higher up on the ground. It was quiet, from what he determined. Seoul was never quiet, but the foot of snow seemed to deter people from leaving the comfort of their homes. He didn’t hear a single horn or honk, and no one entered the hospital at this hour. His in-laws called him an hour ago, mentioning that they were stuck in traffic and would be for another hour, unless the snow stopped.

The sky, however, had no interest in gifting reprieve, taunting Jaehyun.

The hospital was just as silent. The fluorescent lights that trailed the ceiling flickered every so often to remind him of where he was. It would be another two hours until the café and the coffee shop would open at 4 AM, leaving Jaehyun victim to his own thoughts.

He knew that Jihyun was under anesthesia, he had once been put under it himself, but he couldn’t stop the racing thoughts that made him wonder if she was asking where he was, somewhere deep inside her head. He knew he wasn’t allowed in the sterile environment, and it was probably for the best, his imagination was already causing him this much grief, he couldn’t imagine being there.

“Mr. Jeong!”

Jaehyun jumped out of his skin and spun around. A spindly nurse ran towards him, still dressed in her scrubs that were pristinely clean. He took his head away from the surgery entrance to face the nurse calling out for him, blinking rapidly to rid the burning sensation that came with not blinking for a few hours.

“Good morning!” She said, out of breath. She really was quite young, and couldn’t have been a nurse for that long listening to her cheery voice. Who on Earth would be this energetic at this hour? “I’m here to update you!”

“Is everything alright?” He pressed, although his shoulders relaxed at her tone. Surely, she wouldn’t bring grave news with a tone like hers. Maybe that’s why she did it.

The nurse’s smile only brightened that much more, annoying Jaehyun slightly, “Come! There’s someone who you must meet!”

He should’ve been more specific. He really wanted to know if Jihyun was alright, and how far along the surgery was going but he had been blindsided by such a bright personality that Jaehyun had no choice but to follow the nurse through the hospital and around the labyrinth of different hallways and staircases. He thought he heard her say something about the elevator being broken through her own huffs and puffs, until they finally made it to their destination.

“Your wife seemed keen on giving you your Valentine’s Day gift.” She expressed after taking a deep breath, her hands on her knees as she desperately tried to catch her breath. “I hope you don’t mind that she’s dressed for the occasion.”

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow. Did everyone on this unit speak in tongues?

He didn’t know what to expect when she opened that door, certainly not a room decorated in paper hearts and pink blankets. His feet grew roots in the floor, trapping him at the doorway while the nurse toddled towards the clear crib. It was almost as if she was in a display case, wires and machines attached to her small body that helped her lungs push air out and pull air in and counted her heartbeats. They were steady beeps now, instead of the muffled quick thumps he heard earlier.

Jaehyun didn’t quite know what to do with his hands and watched the nurse timidly from his post.

“Oh, don’t be shy now! She’s the same as she’s always been, just outside!” The nurse prodded, shoving Jaehyun a little too forcefully into the room. He stumbled in front of the case and found her there, breathing steadily.

Baby Jeong

February 14th –2:03 AM

2.1kg—34cm

She was tiny. Smaller even in his arms as he held her awkwardly, juggling the weight in his arms, watching the nurse for confirmation that he was doing it right. When she didn’t say anything, he sat on the nearest armchair, stunned and frozen at the weight on his chest. He didn’t want to move, what if she woke up?

His efforts would be in vain as the bundle choked out a whine, her tiny hand reaching for his Adam’s apple. Jaehyun studied her fingertips and her palm, making sure to carry her the same way he would with glass. She cooed and nuzzled deeper into his shirt, her hand falling to rest on his heart.

“You should speak to her.” The nurse said quietly, a gentle smile on her face.

“Will she respond?”

“Maybe,” The nurse mentioned, slamming a fist on top of Valentine’s Day decorations that fell off the wall. “That’s the best part.

Jaehyun took a deep breath and placed his hand on her back, pulling her away from his chest to hold her in front of him to study his face. He smiled to himself, to see that her frown was an exact copy of Jihyun’s, her nose even scrunched the same way.

“Hyerim,” he said under his breath. He quickly apologized when she twitched in her sleep. He had startled her. “Jeong Hyerim, can you hear me? Do you know who I am?”

Hyerim pushed out a whine and cried at her father’s tone, making her father backtrack with a gentler one. His finger traced over her cheeks as he sputtered apology after apology until her cries were reduced to small whimpers until there were none, at all. He watched her in awe, how her lips pressed together to show the divots in her cheeks that she stole from her, not long before she opened her eyes for a moment. It was Jihyun’s scowl, without a doubt.

Jaehyun laughed, failing to realize the tears that fell over his cheeks, landing on Hyerim’s onesie. “You’re upset, I know. No one is letting you sleep. You’re just like Mama, in that way.”

Jaehyun’s finger grazed the tiny tube that ran into her nose and frowned, glancing up at the nurse, “What’s this for?”

“That’s where we feed her—it’s temporary, until she gets her eating reflexes. It’ll be a lot easier when your wife is awake, and she’ll be able to feed her properly. Get her into it, y’know?”

Jaehyun bit his lip and looked at the bundle in his arms, “She’s alright then? Jihyunie?”

The nurse nodded, “She was stable when I left, but I don’t know much of what happened. Her doctor will know better than I will. I’m pediatrics, and I’m only in charge of…what’s her name again? Hyerim?

“Yes,” Jaehyun nodded confidently. “That’s her name. Jeong. Hye. Rim.”

The nurse held out her hands and Jaehyun watched them before he realized she was asking for her back. He swallowed before reluctantly handing her his daughter, his arms cold and empty. “The anesthesia won’t wear off for another two hours. You should get some rest, we’ll handle it from here.”

Jaehyun watched the nurse place Hyerim back in her crib, where she whined and cried at what he assumed was the lack of warmth. He felt himself jolt towards her before he could think about it, the nurse watching him curiously.

“I’m not tired…do you think I could stay here longer? With her?”

The nurse smiled and nodded, “Of course. I’ll leave you two alone, if you need anything, or when you’re ready, let me know.”

Jaehyun thanked her for being patient with him and waited for the door to close behind her before he placed his attention back on the small swaddle of human being in front of him. He led his hand to the sparse sprinkling of hair on top of her head, rubbing his thumb over her forehead as he studied each of her features intricately.

“You wanted me to stay, didn’t you?” Jaehyun asked softly, watching Hyerim nuzzle into the back of his hand. “I’m here, we’ll find Mommy soon enough, but I’ll stay here until then.”

His finger traced patterns on her small hand to drown out his doubts and his words from earlier, his pleas and begs to save his wife, to disregard Hyerim no matter the cost. How could he stand here and fawn over this new life, when only four hours ago, he resented her every being. He cried again, frustrated at the pattern of tears and holding her hand.

“I’m sorry,” He choked, dragging his palm over his eyes, “I didn’t know what I meant when I said it. It was never against you, it was always…”

About him. His own selfish needs to make sure he was never alone, that Jihyun was always with her. Jaehyun’s breath quivered while more tears betrayed him, her own eyes burrowing into his while he mulled over the thoughts in his head. How could he resent her, someone so innocent, so…pure?

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he confessed through tears. “I think I’m lucky enough that you don’t know what’s going on either, so we have to figure this out together—you have to help me. I’ve never done this before, so it’s going to fucking suck, but we’ll figure it out, together. You, me, and Mommy. I think we’ll come to an agreement.”

Hyerim sighed and moved her neck to the side, her breathing slowing as she let go of his finger. She was asleep.

“I’ll be back,” he sniffled. “I’m going to bring Mama, she was more excited to see you than I was.”

His heart filled up with warmth upon Hyerim showing her dimples again, as if to remind him of who she received them from. Jaehyun instinctively pressed his lips to her forehead, “I don’t mind now though. You’re not horrible to be around.”

“Get some rest, you had a long night,” he said while pressing the nurse button. “I’ll be back in a few hours. You’re stuck with me, it seems.”

Just as Jaehyun was leaving, another nurse found him that he recognized from earlier, still dressed her scrubs the same as Hyerim’s nurse. She informed him that Jihyun was alright, in a stable condition, and was fast asleep in her room—but if Jaehyun were being honest, he stopped listening after he heard that she was alright.

They took the only working elevator to where she was kept, a private room with a suite to make sure their stay was comfortable. It helped to know that she would be comfortable here until she was healthy enough to walk on her own, and even more of a relief for his in-laws, to know that they would be able to sleep in the spare bed.

He slid the door open and found Jihyun’s doctor explaining something to someone he couldn’t see from the entry way until Jaehyun turned the corner to see Jihoon sitting on the foot of Jihyun’s bed, his arm crossed and listening intently to everything her doctor said.

It was full of medical jargon, making it harder for Jaehyun to keep up. It wasn’t until the doctor turned to leave that he saw the new father, his eyes lighting up in surprise. “Oh, hello!”

“Hello,” Jaehyun bowed formally, “thank you, for taking care of Jihyunie. Is she alright?”

“I was just telling your brother-in-law all that we did. I figured you were busy downstairs,” he smiled knowingly.

“She’ll live is all you have to know,” Jihoon added, patting Jihyun’s leg with a disgruntled look on his face. “Leave it to Jihyunie to make everything dramatic. Mom and Dad called me, they’re out of traffic now, they’ll be here soon.”

“I had no idea that you were Jihoon’s brother-in-law,” the doctor, who Jaehyun found his name was Seokhyung, said.

“It’s a…recent development.”

“Real recent. Like seven months ago, recent.” Jihoon patted Seokhyung on the back, “You can do the math.”

Jaehyun flushed.

“Everything is fine then?” Jaehyun repeated, “What can I do? Is there anything I can do?”

“Be patient with her. She’ll be tired more often, of course, but the c-section cut is something painful to recover from. Be attentive to what she needs and what she won’t tell you, is all I can say.”

“Not quite the birthday present you expected, was it?” Jihoon teased.

“Not at all, but the best gifts are the ones you never expect.”

Jaehyun put his attention to his wife who was splayed out in front of him. He tucked sweaty strands of hair behind her ear and smoothed the part in hair before kissing her softly, his knuckles running against her cheekbones.

“The anesthesia won’t wear off for a while, Jaehyun,” Jihoon said behind him. “You should get some sleep.”

“I’m not tired.” He successfully stifled a yawn after this.

“You’re going to want to get all the sleep you can get,” Seokhyung warned on his way out. “You won’t always have nurses taking care of your children so you can sleep.”

“You obviously don’t know the Jeongs,” Jihoon grinned, patting Seokhyung on the back and leading him out the door. “Get some sleep, kid. Seriously.”

The last came out more as a command rather than a suggestion. Jaehyun sat on a stiff chair and laid his head on the bed, watching Jihyun take a deep breath. With a glance to her hand, he quickly slipped her wedding ring off her pinky and placed it on her finger—it took some working into, but it soon slipped on as easily and comfortably as it always did as he kissed it twice before closing his eyes.

Slowly but surely, as the sun rose and shined in their room, Jaehyun slept just as soundly. He dreamt of a small bundle of pink in his arms and dimpled cheeks, of machines in the background beeping but soft sounds of breathing and coos.

It was a strange thing, to hold your heart in your arms.

Jaehyun never knew he was capable of such love, of adoration, of awe. Hyerim was evidence of that, both Jihyun and Jaehyun’s heart poured into something so small, so precious. He found himself dreaming of who she would grow up to be, what her favorite song would be, her favorite food, her movie. He’d cook her every dish, dance to every song, and project the movie on the biggest screen just to see her dimpled smile over, and over again.

Small pink digits emerged from a blanket, and he could hardly believe they were fingers. They met with Jaehyun’s pinky, wrapping around the tip while he wished they weren’t separated by wires.

“Hyerim,” he called out. It felt foreign—both the name and the idea that this would be the name he would call out for the rest of his life. “Jeong Hyerim, it’s time to wake up.”

Hyerim sneezed and Jaehyun was quick to cover her up in her blanket, “Are you cold, Sweet Pea? It is cold, look—it’s snowing.”

Jaehyun would carefully maneuver so that she faced the window. Hyerim had yet to open her eyes, so he described the scene to her. “Snow…snow is like water that turns soft when it’s cold. It’s white and it sticks to the floor. You can play with it, you can throw it at people, but you must be careful, or else you’ll get sick.”

Jaehyun touched the wire that ran from behind her ear to inside her nose, “Mommy and I love the snow, we’ll show you how to play in it, when you’re older. First, you have to start eating, and when you get chubbier, we can take you home. Can you do that?”

Hyerim stuck out her tongue and scrunched her nose, searching for said source of food. He laughed, “Exactly, just like that.”

“Jaehyun,” she called out. Soft bells, is what Jaehyun would describe her voice as. Spring birds chirping and wind blowing a gentle breeze, “Jaehyun? Wake up.”

He quickly started awake, his eyes flashed open at the sensation of fingers carding through his hair and the light blinding him. She was there when his blurry vision cleared to show her sitting up in her bed, a tired, soft smile on her lips.

“You’re awake,” he beamed, his head nuzzling into her shoulder. He kissed her neck and jawline, while her arms wrapped around her neck.

“I missed you,” she wept in his shirt. “I was scared.”

“I know, baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—" He cried next. Jaehyun peppered her face in kisses and apologies, holding her close. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there and I’m sorry I didn’t bring you here faster, I—"

“Don’t, please don’t be,” she pulled away to hold his face close to her own, using her thumbs to wipe tears from his under eyes. Something danced on her lips as she used her tongue to wet her bottom lip repeatedly, shutting them before opening them, staring at Jaehyun with apprehension.

“You can tell me,” She whispered, her bottom lip quivered. “The baby…our baby, Hyerim…is she—? Is she—?”

Jaehyun shook her head, “She’s downstairs. She’s perfect, Jihyun.”

“Oh God,” a sob ripped through her chest, one full of relief and fear and the uncertainty if she did well at all, despite the expense of her body. “I was so scared, I didn’t hear her cry, I didn’t hear anything at all, all I could think about was if I did well, or if there was more, I could’ve done—”

“You did everything perfectly, she’s just impatient, Jihyun, that’s all,” he soothed with a kiss to her forehead. “She’s beautiful, she looks just like you, she frowns just like you, oh, she’s so perfectly perfect.”

Jihyun’s sobs grew louder and harder, her hands gripping his green flannel until her knuckles were white under her skin. Jaehyun kissed and soothed when he could, knowing that she wouldn’t feel real comfort until Hyerim was there with them, in their arms.

A meal was brought to them after Jihyun calmed down some, still sniveling quietly until she slurped hearty broth into her mouth. She was quiet afterwards, her eyes puffy and red while her husband rubbed reassuringly circles on her back.

“You should eat,” she rasped, opening his portion and scooting it towards the end of the table.

“I will after you do.”

Jihyun shook her head, “It’ll be cold by then. Please eat, Jaehyun.”

His stomach growled in response; he didn’t have a chance. He grimaced and sat opposite of her, calmly slurping on his portion, and always slipping peas onto her plate the same as he always did. Jihyun stopped his chopsticks with her own, a smug look on her face that Jaehyun recieved with confusion.

“You can’t be a picky eater anymore. You’ll have to be an example.”

Jaehyun snorted and dropped the load of peas on her plate, “We could have ten children and not one of them could convince me to eat them.”

A knock distracted them from their meal until Jaehyun recognized the nurse in front of him. He straightened up in surprise and greeted her much to Jihyun’s confusion. She wasn’t as cheery and bright as she was several hours ago, but the smile had the same amount of warmth as she greeted the new parents in front of her.

“Good morning,” Jaehyun watched her stifle a yawn as he wondered how long she had been here for? Surely her shift was ending. “I’ve come to take you to see Hyerimie before I’m off! I didn’t know I was coming during a meal though—I’ll be back in a little.”

“No, we can go now,” Jihyun nodded. Jaehyun would’ve argued had it not been for most of her plates being empty. She quickly tidied up the stand she was eating on and stretched her legs, both sore and stiff from laying down. Her husband was the first to hop off the bed to extend his hands to help her slide off the bed and into the wheelchair, frowning at Jihyun’s pained hiss.

She kissed his knuckle, “I’m okay. I’m just sore.”

Another nurse came in to unplug Jihyun from the machines she was hooked up to. They protested in a wave of beeping and high-pitched automated wails, but the nurse effectively silenced them with a few quick presses of a few buttons.

“The elevator is working now, thankfully!” The NICU nurse cheered, pressed the down arrow while Jaehyun pushed Jihyun inside the open doors. “I can’t imagine what we’d do if they weren’t. One of us would have had to carry your daughter up here somehow.”

Jaehyun smiled to himself, they have a daughter.

“Is she alright?” Jihyun asked carefully.

She nodded, “All ten fingers and toes, no extra bits or bobs. The pediatrician doesn’t think there’s any underlying health issues for now, so we’ll have to wait. Other than that, she’s healthy, waiting for you.”

Jihyun breathed a breath of relief, her hand resting on top of the one her husband placed on her shoulder.

The NICU was much more colorful than their own hallway. Safari animals were painted on the walls, brave lions leading them to other small friends that were in the same, clear, plastic bins that Hyerim was laid in. Other parents watched Jaehyun and Jihyun pass with a polite smile and a nod of their head, almost in solidarity. The parents that didn’t greet them were the ones staring blankly outside a window, parents, he assumed, that didn’t have the same luck they did.

He swallowed harshly and stopped at a door. The Valentine’s Day decorations the nurse put up prior were on the ground, a loud cry that started both Jihyun and Jaehyun as she tried to place them back.

“Aw, I wanted it to look pretty!” She cried, slamming her fist over the paper hearts before remembering her real task. She quickly cleared her throat, “Sorry—I forget there are more important things.”

Jaehyun took his attention off the frantic nurse to watch his wife gaze upon the incubator inside, rolling her chair through the door and stopping at the crib. Her hand rested on clear bin, peering inside until the nurse returned from washing her hands. She reached inside and scooped Hyerim expertly in her arms, but no matter how professional, Hyerim still whined and complained at being moved.

“Oh, I know, I know, I won’t leave you alone,” she chided, “but there are people here to see you.”

Jihyun’s eyes were glued on the small human that was now in Jaehyun’s hands, her own reaching for his shirt after a small gasp escaped her lips. With the nurse’s help, she was placed on Jihyun’s chest, and the soft whimpers that came from Hyerim slowed until there were none, sighing dramatically and resting her hand on her mother’s heart. A sigh of relief.

“I’m sure she was wondering where you were when she couldn’t hear your heart anymore,” the nurse commented. “She had trouble sleeping at first, I think she was looking for you.”

“For…me?” Jihyun croaked, tears spilling over her cheeks, “she wanted me?”

The nurse gave Jihyun a gentle smile before Jaehyun caressed her cheek, kissing the crown of her head. Jihyun quickly wiped the tears from her cheek before glancing at the professional, “Can I kiss her?” She asked carefully, afraid of the answer.

“She’s been waiting for one this whole time.”

Jihyun smiled and gently pressed her lips against Hyerim’s scalp, watching Hyerim twitch in her sleep. After the first kiss came two more, one to her head and to her fingers, causing the infant to spread her lips in a small smile.

“She has--!” Jihyun looked at her husband with a smile that matched his, his nod eager.

“I know. They’re mine. I gave those to her.”

“But she definitely looks more like you, Jihyun-nim,” the nurse reassured, causing Jihyun to laugh.

“Thank you so much for taking care of her when I couldn’t.” Jihyun thanked her graciously, and held the nurse’s hand to squeeze it gently, “May I know your name?”

The nurse beamed and pointed at her nametag. Jaehyun was the first to see, breaking out into a laugh before Jihyun followed.

“There’s this saying,” the nurse smiled, “that the first patient you meet with your name is the patient you get close to. I’ve only been a nurse for a year, but little Hyerim is like my sister now. I can’t wait to see how she’ll grow.”

“I hope you’ll be around to see her.”

“I am a pediatric nurse,” Nurse Hyerim reassured with a wink. “I’ll be here for the next nineteen years of her life—unless they start cracking down on overzealous decorating, I should be safe.”

The nurse glanced at her watch again, “Well, seeing as I’ll be here for a while, I ought to get going while I can. Congratulations again, I’ll see you both tomorrow!”

The couple thanked her endlessly again until she slid the door closed. Once alone, Jaehyun sat next to Jihyun and watched her interact with the infant on her chest, her fingers tracing patterns on her head and on her tiny back. The look in her eye was distant and far, her husband trying her best to bring her back with a caress to her forehead, Jihyun looking back with a small smile.

“What’s wrong?”

Jihyun bit back tears and shook her head, choosing to focus on the baby instead of speaking her mind. Jaehyun waited anyway. The strain on her body was one thing, he couldn’t imagine the strain in her head. Silent tears fell down her cheeks as Jaehyun brushed them away with a finger.

“She’s so small,” she mouthed, barely loud enough for Jaehyun to hear. She held Hyerim’s head close to her chest and matched her breathing.

“You’re not exactly the tallest,” he teased, a small smile appearing on his lips at Jihyun’s scoff—laughing heartily at the snot that flew out of her nostril.

“Asshole,” she sniffed, wiping her snot on his sleeve.

“You did great, Gigi.” Jaehyun watched her bottom lip get sucked on by her top teeth, anything to stop it from quivering. “You did so well, my love. We’ll be out of here in no time. The nurses told me that Hyerim can’t stop eating, there’s nothing wrong with her, there’s nothing you did that changed it. I told you, she’s just impatient, that’s all.”

Jihyun nodded her head and welcomed another kiss to her temple, glancing up at Jaehyun with glassy brown eyes. He took a deep breath and caressed her cheek, “She’s your daughter, after all. My patient genes didn’t stand a chance.”

Jaehyun finally smiled when Jihyun let out a full laugh, a toothy grin left behind before she tilted her head upwards, her husband taking it as a sign to kiss her fully and passionately, his hands threaded in her hair.

“Are you ready?” She asked.

“Not in the fucking slightest. Are you?”

“Fuck no,” Jihyun glanced at the bundle and watched Hyerim breathe in and out slowly. “Will you tell me if I’m being a bad mom? Tell me when I’m being too mean or if I’m being too strict.”

He nodded, “Only if you’ll do the same for me.”

Jihyun smiled, “I already see that stupid look in your eye. The same one my dad gives me all the time.”

Jaehyun raised his eyebrows, “Are you calling your dad stupid?”

He feigned hurt at the weak punch she threw to his shoulder, rolling her eyes. The punch jolted Hyerim the wrong way, the infant whining at being disturbed again before Jihyun calmed her cries with gentle pats to her back.

“Stop being an idiot when I’m holding our baby,” Jihyun snipped. “Did I scare you, Hyerim? I’m sorry Daddy is being annoying already. He won’t leave us alone.”

Jaehyun pulled her in for another kiss, one that Jihyun returned with narrowed eyes, “I love you.”

The confession made Jihyun’s hard expression crack, a smirk coming next before kissing him again. “I know. I love you more.”

“And you, Sweet Pea,” Jihyun reassured, afraid that Hyerim would get jealous of the affection being thrown around.

Another knock came before a nurse poked her head in, remorseful, “Jihyun-nim? I believe your parents are here.”

“They can come in,” she said with a nod, glancing at her husband one more time. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“No, but Hyerim and I talked about it. I think we can make something work.”

#just a lil sum until you all wait for chapter 14 🤠#im BACK baby #jaehyun #these nights au #nct scenarios #jaehyun scenario #jung jaehyun #nct mafia #nct mafia au #noir fanfic #i guess #since it's like... compliant with the actual story line this time #nct fluff #nct angst #jeong jaehyun mafia #jeong jaehyun smut #jeong jaehyun #jeong yuno

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jae-canikeepyou · 2 years

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puhleasseeeee why you gotta be so fineeee 😩🤭

#jung jaehyun #nct 127 #jeong yuno #jung yoonoh #jaehyun nct #jeong jaehyun #jaehyuno ♡

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lovesung127 · 2 years

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no wonder cha minho kept getting dumped, the only person he ever cared about was ma joo ah and that was the only girl he'd ever talk about. no wonder his gfs were fed up

#jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #jeong jaehyun #dear.m #jeong yuno #nct 127 #ma joo ah #cha minho

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jaerontaemo · 5 months

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231125 — Jaehyun Instagram story update

#nct 127 #nct #jaehyun #jeong yuno #jeong jaehyun #jung yuno #jung jaehyun #nct jung yoonoh #jung yoonoh #yoonoh #nct yoonoh

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babydollmato · 2 years

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#jaehyun #my forever only #jeong jaehyun #nct 127 #nct #my edit #kpop black and white #b&w kpop #bw kpop #jung jaehyun #jeong yuno #nct 127 2 baddies #nct edit

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justkpopfansofficial · 2 years

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QER | Jaehyun ' Forever Only' MV

youtube

#kpop #kpop reactions #nct #nct u #nct 127 #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jung yuno #forever only #jkf #Youtube

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peanutpinet · 3 months

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haii! I saw that you request is open. i want to request with mafia!jaehyun x wife!reader. Jaehyun and your brother (johnny) are known have died, killed by their rivals. unknowingly you're having a child years later, and when the other group saw, they wanted to kill both of you.

suprisingly, you were saved by nct and you mad at them being shadows and hide themselves from you for years especially jaehyun and johnny. so, (especially) jaehyun and the others regaining your trust back and want to be a dad in your child live, you're slowly trust him and others again (maybe there's an incident or something that jaehyun almost being killed cause he saved you and/or child(?)). thank you

Back For You - Mafia! Jaehyun x Wife! Fem Reader (ft Older Brother Johnny)

HAPPY 2024 EVERYONE!! I HOPE THAT EVERYONE HAD A GREAT JANUARY (jokes on me for saying happy new year but posting this at the end of January) I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING MIA BUT I was away for a 2-week holiday which took a lot out of me. Don't worry, I've tried to write a bit and while this isn't my best writing since I'm still trying things, I hope that the anon who requested this and those who are reading will still enjoy it!! Manifesting a better year for everyone!!

A/N: hi anon, thank you for requesting, it means a lot that you like my writing :(( coincidentally, I have been reading a few nct fics about the reader having the neos’ child but the neo never knew that they had a child. I do want to point out that this specific mafia story won’t be included in the mini mafia universe that I’ve made as the timeline doesn’t really match but I will make another Jaehyun mafia fic in the same mafia universe that I’ve created!

Also, to the anon who requested the Johnny & TY mafia, Jisung mafia, thank you guys for being patient but I am going through my requests (actually shocked I have several of requests because I didn't think my writing would be enjoyable without a smut sometimes). Also, also! TY's girl is making an appearance in the next two mafia fics and her name is Kim Eunji because I used this name for my translated version of TY's first mafia fic over on my Wattpad. Okay, onto the story!

Warnings: suggestive, angst, mentions of pregnancy and child birth, gunshots, blood, lil fluff

It took 5 years of trying to heal yourself from your loss. 5 years to finally be able to accept that it was now just you and your son, Yuno together. 5 years since your husband and brother, Jaehyun and Johnny respectively were reported to have died in a car accident. But those 5 years of acceptance and peace were soon ripped in a matter of seconds.

You were just picking up your son from daycare who was one of the last kids there because you had to finish your shift but when you had just arrived, you saw several black SUVs that came from around the corner.

At first you didn’t think much about it because you have never been associated with anything illegal nor have you done anything wrong in your life.

But right when you picked up your son and headed out, there were several men who came out of the SUVs and stopped in front of you and your son.

Instinctively, you held your son tighter to you as one of the men came towards you, mentioning a name that you have not heard in the past 5 years of your life.

“Are you Jung (Y/N), wife of Jung Jaehyun and younger sister of Johnny Suh?” one of the men questioned which made you wrap your arms around your son, your motherly instinct moved him behind you

“And who are you to ask?” you hissed but the man just chuckled until you noticed the other men surrounding you and your son

“We’d just like to ask you several questions about your husband and older brother. So if you would come with us and have a little chat…” the man mentioned, looking at your son. “We wouldn’t want the kid to see something that he wouldn’t want to see, now would we?”

“Mommy…” your son called out to you but you wouldn’t let him come out from behind you

“I don’t know how you know my name, my deceased brother and husband’s name but as far as I know, none of us have any association with people like you. And plus, like I’ve mentioned, my brother and husband are both dead. If there were any debts that they may have, their lawyer would’ve said something to me years ago” you tried your best to sound brave but in reality you feared what may happen to you and your son; especially when some of the men came closer

“You should come while we’re being civil” the man scoffed as he commanded the other men to take out some of their weapons as you shielded your son from the scene he might witness

But somehow, as if your husband has been protecting you even before your marriage, there were other men who came and took down all the men that were surrounding you before they could even do anything to you or your son.

Amongst the men who helped you, there was one with white/silver hair and black tint underneath. He walked past everyone and stood in front of you, his eyes was big but his eyebrows made him have a more strict look.

What he did next was what you didn’t expect. The man kneeled to your son’s level and even called him by his name. “Hey, you must be scared, aren’t you? I’m Taeyong. You can call me uncle Tae. I know your father very well. You have his dimples and eyes but have your mom’s smile. You’re a brave boy like your dad”

“You know Jaehyun?” You asked as Taeyong looked at you, his eyes turned soft and even looked like he was sorry when he stood back up to face you

“I think he and Johnny should be the one to tell you everything. I have no right to get in between family business” Taeyong mentioned while you stood in shock

“W-what do you mean that he and Johnny…” you stuttered but Taeyong continued before you got to finish your sentence. “They’re alive. Both of them. We found them 5 years ago, barely breathing and they were both in a coma for almost a whole year but enough of that, how about I…”

“How do I know that you’re not using them to get to me or something? For all I know you could be working with those people from before or something” you questioned, making Taeyong sigh until you heard the very voices that you thought you would never hear ever again

“(Y/N)!!!” You heard Jaehyun shout and turning around, you saw Jaehyun, your husband and Johnny, your older brother; both of whom you thought were dead were now in front of you

“H-hey, hey” Jaehyun came and held you in his arms, pulling you to his chest as you sobbed whereas Johnny came to hug his nephew

“Sssh, I’m here. I’m so sorry. I’m alive. We’re alive” Jaehyun tried to calm you down but you broke down even more and hit his chest, pushing him away as your tears covered your vision

“How could you! Both of you!!” You screamed at both men who lied to you for the past 5 years. Both men whom you cherished close to you and mourned hard when you heard about their car crash and no bodies were found 5 years ago

“I cried for both of you. I mourned you both. I had to go through pregnancy and birth on my own. I did everything alone for the past 5 years. Y-you both don’t get to just waltz back in as if nothing happened” you cried, even falling to the ground as your son rush to your side, hugging you

“Sweetheart. Little flower” both Jaehyun and Johnny said at the same time, both coming closer but your son stood in front of you

“H-hey lil peach…” Jaehyun uttered, about to kneel down to your son’s height but just like Jaehyun, your son was overly protective of you ever since he was just 2 years old

“Go away” your son shouted as you tried to calm him but he kept on going. “Don’t make my mom cry”

“Lil peach, I’m not gonna…” Jaehyun tried to reach out to his own son but he was rejected. “No!!”

“You made my mom cry! I don’t want mommy to cry anymore!” Your son shouted but you quickly hugged him, calming him down. “Hey, hey. Jeong Yuno, what did mommy teach you?” you mentioned your son’s name, making Jaehyun tear up a bit because you named your son after his name

“Don’t shout at anyone. Don’t shout to your elders, okay? Especially your dad and uncle” you stroke your son’s head who looks at you with the same worried eyes as Jaehyun’s

“I don’t want you to cry anymore mommy. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t mommy sad. I want mommy happy” your son mentioned, making both Jaehyun and Johnny’s hearts clench

“Mommy’s not sad. Don’t worry, mommy’s okay” you cooed your son, hugging him close to you as you lift him up

“(Y/n)…” Jaehyun uttered, trying to reach for both you and your son

“Don’t…I, I can’t deal with this. I want to go home” you mentioned, your voice was clearly tired

“It’s not safe for you to go back home” Jaehyun mentioned. “Then where am I supposed to go Jaehyun?!” You argued back, Jaehyun clenching his fists

“We’ll take you back somewhere safe. Somewhere no one can find nor touch either of you. Somewhere I should’ve brought you to a long time ago” Jaehyun mentioned, directing to you one of the cars

“Little flower…” Johnny breathed but you walked past him, carrying your son tightly and protectively in your arms

“Know that I’m only going with you guys for my son’s safety and not because I’ve forgiven either of you just yet” you uttered, going into the car as Taeyong closed it before it went off

“Get some rest. Both of you. You can talk to her tomorrow” Taeyong mentioned, heading to his own car

“Hyung!” Jaehyun called out to Taeyong

“I told you that you both that you should’ve gone back to her back then. I kept my side of the promise and took care of her when you both went on that mission. But you broke your side of the promise to go back to her” Taeyong stated, looking at his two members

“I understand during the first year because you both were brutally injured from the accident but afterwards?” Taeyong reminded. “I don’t mean to butt into your family business but if either of you forgot, your wife and sister was pregnant and about to give birth when you guys were already awake from your coma. Regardless of your reasoning, both of you should’ve gone back to her. Losing two of your loved ones during pregnancy and birth is not easy and the fact that she went through all of that alone makes me respect her so much”

“I suggest you both discuss on your own. I can only do so much by ensuring her safety. You both already lost the past 5 years with her. Don’t lose her as well” Taeyong advised

Throughout the ride back to NCT’s penthouse, both Jaehyun and Johnny discussed how they were going to try and approach you. Johnny saying that he wants to approach you first because he is your only related family member left and he wants to make sure that you know he will always take care of you somehow.

But Jaehyun wanted the three of you to just sit down and talk so none of you misunderstood one another. Both Jaehyun and Johnny kept debating until they reached the room that Taeyong provided for you and your son.

Softly, Jaehyun knocked on the door, worried that he might accidentally wake you and your son but luckily you were still awake and answered the door.

Upon opening the door and seeing Jaehyun and Johnny, your first instinct was to shut it close but knowing both your husband and brother, you might as well talk it out with them and get it over with.

“What do you guys want?” you questioned, your voice coming out strong and rough, your eyes and nose were still red from all the crying

“Can we talk? The three of us. We owe you a full explanation about what happened and everything” Johnny mentioned, hoping that you’d give him and Jaehyun a chance to explain for themselves

“Not in here. I just put Yuno to sleep. He wouldn’t sleep until I fall asleep” you replied and hearing your reply, Jaehyun wanted to hug you and let you know that he never meant to leave you alone but he restrained himself until you finally accepted his apology and allowed him to be back in both you and your son’s life

“Let’s go next door then, it’s my room” Johnny suggested and you nodded in agreement

You came to find out that your room was situated between Johnny and Jaehyun’s room with Johnny being right next door and Jaehyun across your room.

Inside Johnny’s penthouse, you were welcomed with the modern but minimalistic interior with several additions of rare collectables which you knew your brother had been very fond of since young. You took in his entire place until you saw several framed pictures of him, Jaehyun, some of their other friends and even with you framed in the center amongst the other pictures.

“Do you still like your tea with 90% milk and sugar?” Johnny asked, already at the pantry, brewing up your favourite tea for you

“Yea, I can’t have too much caffeine during the night anyways” you replied, accepting the tea from your brother

“So, you guys going to explain yourselves on leaving me for the past 5 years?” you questioned, looking down at your husband and brother who sat across you

To say you were speechless was definitely an understatement because as much as you tried to understand their point of views, you became angrier than before. Ever since your brother was in high school, he had already been in the mafia and as for your husband, Jaehyun officially became apart of it when he almost graduated high school.

Not only were they able to keep this secret life from you for the past 10+ years, but the fact they also hide themselves for the past 5 years all because they were scared to face you when they were still injured just didn’t make sense to you.

“What the fuck do you mean that you were scared to face me?!” you shouted, standing up from the sofa, angry at both your brother and husband

“Flower, we wanted to back to you, I swear. We were just caught up with other things…” Johnny tried to reason. “We were both badly injured and barely able to process anything…”

“But you got back up. You could’ve come to me. Your friends could’ve said something. I want to understand you but I can’t. Do you know how hard it was when I found out I was pregnant but before I could tell either of you, I saw your car crash on the news. I almost lost my baby. I almost lost my son that day too if it weren’t for your mom coming over to visit me early in the morning” you rambled on, making both Johnny and Jaehyun even more guilty

“Does your mom even know, Jaehyun?” you asked but received no answer from him

“I’m leaving” you let out which made both Johnny and Jaehyun immediately stood up, blocking your way

“I mean I’m leaving this room and going back to see my son. I can’t be in the same room with either of you right now” I pointed out, about to head to the door but a hand grabbed my wrist and from the touch, I knew that it was Jaehyun

“(y/n)…dimple…” Jaehyun let out that nickname he used to call me those years ago

The nickname that he gave me because he would always mention how he consider me as his dimple because his dimple is a part of him and he would always consider me as a part of him. I believed it, until he disappeared and reappeared back.

“Don’t call me that, Jeong” I hissed back, tears were threatening to spill again

“I swear I wanted to come back to you. Both me and Johnny. Me especially. I know what we did was horrible towards you and I’m not asking you to forgive and accept us back immediately but I just hope…” Jaehyun sighed. “I hope that you would at least let me into Yuno’s life. Let me be the father and husband I should’ve been all those years that I was gone”

Immediately, you ripped your arm away from Jaehyun and looked at him with anger and frustration. “You both got badly injured during and needed a year to fully recover fine. Your friends/members not coming to tell me anything about you because it’s classified, fined. But not telling your own mother and letting her, me and our son to believe that you were dead is beyond me. I don’t need words, Jeong. Neither does Yuno. All we wanted was for you to be there but you weren’t. You’re basically 5 years too late”

“I know” Jaehyun let out a shaky breath. “I, we, didn’t mean to lie to you and not come back sooner. We wanted to tell you but we were just waiting for the right time because we wanted to protect you long enough until we weren’t heavily involved anymore”

“Protect? Protecting me from those who were against you or protecting yourself from what might happen if you had told me before you disappeared?” you sighed

“You know what hurts more? Not when I lost both of you and almost lost Yuno that day. But the fact that I can’t hate either of you. I want to hate you both but I can’t. Because I know what it feels like growing up without a parent figure. I tried so hard to be that parent figure for Yuno but I could never replace his dad” you said, making Jaehyun more hopeful

“Don’t think that I’ve forgiven either one of you just yet. But I’m not as cruel as you to not see Yuno or try to be the father and uncle he should’ve had since he was born” you opened the door, ready to go back to your son. “I’m saying that you both can try your best to come back to our lives, but I can’t guarantee that either one of us would accept you. You might be the father Jaehyun but I was the one that took care of him the past 5 years and from what you’ve seen, our son doesn’t even consider you his dad even when I’ve told him and showed him pictures of you. Good night, Jaehyun, Johnny”

You left both men to the quiet and chill room with the loud noise of their own thoughts and guilt.

Despite leaving both Jaehyun and Johnny on a bad note, the two accepted your anger and instead, hearing you let out your own emotion fueled them to try their best to do whatever it took to get both you and Yuno’s apology.

The next morning, right when you were about to leave and bring Yuno to daycare, both Jaehyun and Johnny were right in front of your door as you came out with your son.

“Geezus, can you guys not this early in the morning?!” you sighed as your son gripped your hand tighter

“Sorry. We didn’t want to disturb your morning so we waited out here. But we got some breakfast sandwiches for both of you and caramel latte for you” Jaehyun mentioned, handing you the bag which you accepted

“Thanks. If there isn’t anything else, I really need to go and take Yuno to daycare and I also need to go to work” you mentioned, about to walk past both men but they stopped you before you could take another step

“What is it this time?” you asked, raising your eyebrow

“Sorry lil sis, I don’t think you should be going to work anymore” Johnny said, making you scoff. “You might be my older brother but you don’t have the rights to tell me what I can or cannot do”

“Johnny’s right (y/n). Those men the other day know who you are. It would only take time before other people would find you or Yuno and neither me nor Johnny wants that to happen again” Jaehyun replied, looking at you with those damn worried eyes

“If I don’t work then how am I supposed to afford a living?” you argued, challenging both Johnny and Jaehyun

“We’re both here now. We’ll fund everything. Especially me. I’m going to fun for both you and Yuno. I want to be the father that Yuno deserves to have. You can push me or Johnny away as much as you want but we will still try to squeeze ourselves back into both of your lives” Jaehyun mentioned and hearing his tone, you know how stubborn Jaehyun is going to be

Sighing, you agreed to not go to work and let your boss know that you have to quit so suddenly because of a family issue.

“Fine. I won’t go to work. But I’m not going to let my…”

“Our son” Jaehyun mentioned, making you roll your eyes. “Our son not go to school” you finished your sentence while Jaehyun kneeled down to Yuno’s height

“Of course not. I’ll take him to school and wait until his school ends” Jaehyun mentioned, smiling at Yuno, his dimples showing

But when Jaehyun took his hand out, trying to convince Yuno to come with him, Yuno shook his head. “No. I want to go with mommy”

“Lil peach…your mommy and uncle need to have a chat and I want to get to know you more” Jaehyun tried to convince him but Yuno stood his ground, gripping onto your leg

“Hey, hey lil bud” you mumbled, kneeling to your son’s height, holding his small hands in yours. “What did mommy tell you before?”

“Give daddy a chance” both you and Yuno said at the same time, making Jaehyun want to tear up knowing that despite what he did, you still taught your son to give him a chance

“That’s right lil bud. What happened to mommy shouldn’t be the reason for you to not give your daddy a chance. Also, it’s a good way to know if he’s actually making an effort. Plus, mommy needs to talk to uncle Johnny, okay? When you come back, mommy is going to make your favourite food, braised beef with toppokki” you mentioned, Jaehyun almost choked on his saliva hearing his son’s favourite food being the same as his

“Okay mommy” Yuno mumbled, looking over at Jaehyun who still offered his hand and slowly grabbed it

“I promise that I’ll keep him safe” Jaehyun mentioned, standing back up, softly holding his son’s hand

“On scratch on his body or any drop of blood, I will end you, Jeong” you threatened, kissing your son’s cheek as he kissed yours before letting Jaehyun take your son to daycare

Jaehyun’s POV

On the way down to my car, Yuno didn’t say a word and even when we were in the elevator, out of (y/n) and Johnny’s sight, Yuno let go of my hand which confused me.

“Lil peach…” I let out but Yuno’s reply shocked me. “Yuno. That’s my name. Not lil peach. Only mommy gets to call me other names”

“Okay, Yuno. Can you tell me why you let go of my hand?” I asked as the elevator opened to the car park and I directed him to my car

“Because even though mommy says you’re my daddy, you’re not” Yuno mentioned, getting into the car without my help

After closing the door to Yuno’s side, I went into mine and saw that he already put his seatbelt on his own. “Damn, this kid is too smart for a 5-year-old,” I thought to myself as I drove off

“Why would you say that I’m not your daddy?” I asked

“Because you hurt mommy. You made mommy cry” Yuno mentioned. “You might be my daddy but if you hurt mommy, you’re not my daddy. Wait until I grow up and I will be the only guy that mommy needs”

“You should know that without me, you wouldn’t exist. You can try all you want but I will win your mom back and then let’s see who the guy will come out on top” I scoffed, disbelieved at my own son’s words to me

“You can try but you’re no one to mommy. You’re not related by blood unlike me. You don’t know mommy like I do. You don’t know how hard mommy tries to be strong to take care of me. You don’t know that mommy likes to talk about you. You don’t know that mommy talks nice things about you but to me, you still hurt mommy. Especially when you came back” Yuno mentioned, making me grip the steering wheel harder

“H-Has your mommy been seeing someone else? Another guy?” I asked, being selfish and hoping that (y/n) hadn’t seen anyone else

“No. Though lots of guys have been trying to talk to her but when I ask mommy, she always mentions you” Yuno admitted, making me sigh with relief

“I won’t leave you both again. Especially your mom. I love her so much that I want to come back and take care of her. And you” I mentioned, parking by the daycare, looking at Yuno

“Why are you looking at me?” Yuno asked

“Because I need your help” I mentioned

Your apartment - Your POV

After Jaehyun left with Yuno, Johnny wanted to immediately talk but I told him that I wanted to grab several things from my previous apartment. Johnny agreed and he drove us to my old apartment.

“What actually happened since you found out that we were involved in an accident?” Johnny asked, his voice sounded nervous as we walked into my apartment

“Lots of things happened, John. I almost lost Yuno. I had to sell our old house to have enough money to live for a year or so since both of your accounts sacred and I only had the joint account with Jaehyun but even that, somehow, the account was frozen so after Yuno turned 1, I had to look for a job since I didn’t want to burden Jaehyun’s parents who were both already at old age” I explained, recalling one of the most traumatic moments in my life

“I’m sorry sis. We both are, really” Johnny let out

“I was lucky Jaehyun’s parents were still around. We were all sad at what happened to both of you. Did Jaehyun ever go back to his parents?” I asked but Johnny shook his head

“He was scared. We both were. When Taeyong and the others couldn’t find us, they froze our accounts, everything linked to us. Of course not your or his parents’ personal accounts. That’s how your joint account was frozen” Johnny explained

“What could have possibly scared the two of you more than me and Jaehyun’s parents getting angry at both of you?” I questioned, about to blow a fuse at my confusing brother for his reasoning but Johnny sushed me

“What is it now, John…”I let out but we both hear unfamiliar voices

“I thought you said that you saw that clueless bitch and somehow alived brother walking past here just now” an unknown man stated, making you worry and looked at Johnny who looked pissed

“(y/n), go into your room” Johnny looked at me, his hand was by his waist and I could see him holding a gun. “Now”

I didn’t need to be told twice and rushed to my room, locking it and as I was about to get under my bed, I heard a loud gunshot followed by several grunts. Not wanting to listen to all the noise outside, I decided to call the only other person that could manage to calm me down.

“Hello? (Y/N)” Jaehyun’s voice was a bit taken aback that I called him

“Jae…” I let out

“Where are you? Where’s Johnny? What happened?” Jaehyun asked, his voice was worried

“I’m at my old apartment. Johnny…” I was about to reply but heard another gunshot. “Johnny’s outside, there are some people that I don’t know of”

“Dimple…I’m sorry that you have to go through this two days in a row but one things for sure, we won’t let you be alone anymore. Talk to me dimple, tell me how you’re feeling” Jaehyun replied

“How are you so calm? What if something happens to Johnny and…I can’t lose either one of you again” you replied back

“It’s part of our job, dimple and you’re not going to lose either one of us again. What happened 5 years ago is a one time only. It won’t happen again. Me and Johnny will make sure of it” Jaehyun ensured me

“How’s Yuno? Did he cause any problems for you?” I asked, trying to get my mind off what was happening outside

“No problems at all. He just told me some things, that’s all. You really taught him well, didn’t you. He even stood up against his own father for his mom” Jaehyun joked

“That’s because he didn’t know you like I did” I replied

“And how did you know me, hmm?” Jaehyun teased, making me roll my eyes

Luckily, before I have to reply him, I heard Johnny called out to me. “(y/n)? Are you alright in there?”

“Johnny’s calling. I’ll um talk to you later then Jae. Don’t forget about Yuno” I told him but heard giggling. “Don’t worry about him. Go, Johnny’s going to get worried”

Turning off the call, I opened the door and saw Johnny who looked a bit tired but relieved. Immediately, I hugged him as he hugged back. “I’m okay, don’t worry about me. You’re okay, right?”

“I’m okay. W-what happened out there?” I asked but Johnny shook his head

“Nothing you should worry about. Come on. I’ll help you grab the things you need and we can head back” Johnny mentioned

It didn’t take long to take almost all the things because apparently, Johnny had called some of his friends to come and help us bring some of mine and Yuno’s things back to the penthouse.

Arriving back at the penthouse, Johnny and his friends helped me unpack some of my things and during the tidying up, we heard a ring to the door and Johnny opened it to let Jaehyun and Yuno in. Yuno immediately went up to me and I hugged him.

“Did you have a good day today?” I asked as Yuno nodded and took something out of his backpack, which was a drawing

“My teacher told us to draw something that makes us happy and I draw you being happy even if it’s with daddy and uncle” Yuno mentioned and I looked at the drawing he did

It was a simple kids drawing but knowing our history, it meant a lot that Yuno somehow is slowly accepting both Jaehyun and Johnny in his life even though they have been absent in both our lives for the past 5 years.

Sometime during the rest of the day, you and Jaehyun decided to cook together and after dinner, the two of you were doing the dishes together; reminiscing the times you both were in college and cooking in the small tiny dorms whilst Johnny and Yuno were getting to know each other.

“How did you manage to get Yuno to talk to you and actually like you?” you asked, waiting for the water to boil as Jaehyun was leaning on the counter after washing some of the dishes

“I wouldn’t say that he has completely accepted me but we managed to talk. He’s very smart for a 5-year-old” Jaehyun mentioned

“I know. I worry about him. I don’t want him to mature quickly just because of the situation. I want him to have a normal childhood where he’s loved and can have fun for as long as he can” you mentioned, looking over at Yuno who was actually having fun with Johnny

“(Y/N)” Jaehyun called out to me, making me look at him as he grabbed my hands in his; an act that he always did whenever he wanted to talk about something serious

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for both of you the past 5 years. I’m sorry I was a coward for not going back to both of you sooner and I’m sorry that I can’t turn back time to change all that because I know I would do anything to go back and be with the both of you. Especially you. I should’ve been there to take care of you. I should’ve been there to protect you. I should’ve been there to feel the pain you’ve felt because it was nothing compared to mine” Jaehyun mentioned, kissing the top of your hands, another habit that he likes to do to calm your nerves

“Jae…” you breathed out but Jaehyun didn’t let you continue. “Would you allow me and Johnny back? I know that it’s going to take a lot more to make up for the times we’ve lost but I’m willing to do anything for the both of you and…”

Kiss This time, you were the one that didn’t let Jaehyun continue and landed a soft kiss on his cheek, whilst caressing his jawline with one of your hands.

“You know that I hate all the bullshit talk. You might as well show me how sorry you are” you challenged Jaehyun who felt a sense of relief wash over him

But before you and Jaehyun could continue anything, both Johnny and Yuno came up to both of you. “Umm, sorry to disturb but I’m gonna take the lil guy back to my place” Johnny mentioned and Jaehyun was internally screaming thank you because he finally got to have some alone time with you after 5 years

“Do you need anything or any snacks bub?” you asked your son who just shook his head

“I’m okay, mommy. I wanna play some games with uncle Johnny!” Yuno exclaimed, making you giggle

“Alright. But don’t stay up too late. Go grab your pyjamas and backpack. Johnny, I trust you won’t be irresponsible. He has school tomorrow” you mentioned, looking up at your brother who just shrugged whilst your son rushed to his room

“I won’t. But I’m not so sure about you both so that’s why I’m offering to take care of the lil guy while you both sort things out together” Johnny snickered making you smack his arm while your son comes back, already wearing his backpack

“Bye mommy!!” your son greeted you as you went down to his height and he kissed you on your cheeks

“You behave alright. Don’t trouble uncle Johnny” you reminded as he smiled

“I promise don’t worry” your son replied and he went towards Jaehyun who also kneeled to his height. “Don’t make mommy cry!”

“I won’t lil peach. If she cries it’s because of a movie or something else” Jaehyun mentioned, making you smack his head. “You see. Your mom will kill me before I hurt her anyways”

Shaking his head, your son went over back to you and hugged you before going to grab Johnny’s hands, the two bidding both of you and Jaehyun goodbye.

“I should really get you and him to have more father and son outings before he really rebels against you” you mumbled while Jaehyun went behind you, snaking his arms around your waist, letting his head rest on the crook of your neck, giving it light kisses

“It’s alright. You’ve taught him well enough. He’s looking out for his mom anyways” Jaehyun murmured, sucking on your skin, making you moan as you let your head fall back

“I’ll teach him more though. If you’ll let me. I know that you’re worried but I’m more worried if something were to happen to both of you and I wasn’t around” Jaehyun sighed but you turned around, your hands wrapped around his neck

“I trust you Jae. You maybe a dick for leaving us for 5 years but you promise to make up for it. Then do it. Make up for your lost time with us. Treat us how you’re supposed to treat us those psat 5 years” you challenged him again

Without warning, Jaehyun lifted you up, forcing your legs to wrapped around his waist as he turned you around, making your back hit the wall as he captured your lips to his; one of his hand cupped your jaw, deepening the kiss between you.

When the two of you pull away and looked at each other, the two of you giggle just like when you were in college, sneaking around to make out with each other.

“Shall we continue it here or do you want the bed?” Jaehyun asked but you kissed him instead

“Anywhere Jeong. Just proof to me that you’re not leaving us again. I can’t deal with another loss” you cried but Jaehyun quickly shushed you

“You won’t. I’m promise. I came back for both of you and I’m staying for both of you. I’m sorry, dimple. I’ve missed you too. I’ve missed you so fucking much” Jaehyun kissed your temple, each of your eyes, the tip of your nose and then your lips

Each kiss makes you bring him closer to you as you cried on his chest while he cradles your body. “It’s okay. Let it out” Jaehyun knows that he can make up for all the intimate and sexual needs later and what’s important is to make sure is to tend your needs. Whatever you want or need, Jaehyun will do it.

When you finally relaxed in Jaehyun’s arms, you looked at him again with glossy eyes but to Jaehyun, you’re just as adorable as he remembers. Smiling and flashing his dimples, Jaehyun leaned down to give a softer kiss to your lips but you were the one that craved more.

“Someone’s eager. Bed?” Jaehyun asked but all you could do was nod

Immediately, Jaehyun carried you bridal style just as he did the night of your wedding when Jaehyun carried you to your bedroom.

Because of your motherly sense, you woke up earlier than you would have liked and went to the kitchen, slowly removing Jaehyun’s big arms. When you got to kitchen to make breakfast and check your phone, Johnny already texted you that he already took your son to kindergarten and told you to just rest.

Johnny: I took the kid to kindergarten already. We got some breakfast sandwich along the way and I’m gonna wait for him. You have fun with Jae ;)

You smile as you read the text, not realising that Jaehyun was eyeing you from the corner until you turned to see him leaning towards the wall with only his sweatpants, his chest was still bare from last night’s activities.

“Geezus. Can’t you at least knock. You’re going to make me have a heart attack” you exclaimed, making Jaehyun chuckle as he went next to you, kissing the side of your temple before backhugging you as you attempt to make breakfast

“I wouldn’t dream of it” Jaehyun murmured

The two of you just enjoyed each other’s company whilst making breakfast together until Jaehyun asked you a question that he wanted to ask. “Dimple” Jaehyun called out, making you look at him

“Why didn’t you get mad at me? Why didn’t you make me suffer more and longer? I deserved it you know. 5 years is a long time and not to mention for 9 months you were pregnant and had to raise Yuno on your own with my parents for the next few years. You could’ve made me beg for the next 5 years but you didn’t, why?” Jaehyun asked, making you blink a few times before going to stand in front of him, cupping his jaw in your small hands

“I’m disappointed. Not angry. There’s a difference. I’m still disappointed in you and Johnny but I know that there’s no point in staying angry for too long. Yes, I still don’t fully understand the world you guys are in but I know that it’s not easy at all and you both tried your best to take care of me and Yuno however you can. Let me ask you back. When Yuno turned 3 and I received an email from the bank that our joint account was not frozen anymore, it was you, wasn’t it? When I was struggling to pay the bills and suddenly the landlord said it was all cleared for the next year, it was you, right? When Yuno was sick and there was medicine in the mail, it was from you, wsn’t it?” you asked, and Jaehyun held your hand, rubbing it

“I was a coward. I helped you but I didn’t have the strength to face you. You should hate me” Jaehyun mentioned

“But I don’t because I know that when it comes to family, you would never forget us no matter what. I’m still hurt and need reassurance but I want us to be a family again. Only if you promise to be better” you replied and Jaehyun immediately kisses you

Pulling away for a moment, Jaehyun caresses your face and lets his forehead rest on yours as both your noses touch each other. “I fucking love you, you know that? I promise I’ll be better for you and Yuno. I’m officially back for both of you”

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anashins · 2 years

Text

His Love in Her Force

Pairing: undercover detective!Jaehyun x ballerina!reader

Genre: fake marriage au, hate to love, action, drama, fluff, romance, small town au, slow burn, smut, suspense

Word Count: 28k (it's worth it if you like slow burn, promise)

Summary: Fleeing from a ruthless stalker, you are forced to participate in a witness protection program at the other side of the world, pretending to be the wife of a taciturn undercover detective from now on. Despite all differences, you slowly start to settle with your new life as a married couple - until your newfound happiness is stripped away from you all over again.

A/N: Loosely inspired by a friend's friend case that went viral where I live. Jaehyun goes by several names here (Jay Jung, Jung Jaehyun and Jeong Yuno).

Imagine leaving everything behind.

Your home, your friends, your family.

Life as you knew it, vanished overnight, and you had to start anew at the other side of the world.

People easily let such a wish slip when their ordinary life got too exhausting. But what many truly meant was that they wanted to take a break from their daily routine and relax a few weeks under the tropical sun.

They could always come back to the security and comfort of their stable home, and that was why only the minority was serious and courageous enough to actually go through with the plans of starting anew somewhere far away.

And then, there were people like you. The ones who didn’t have a choice.

“Mrs. Jung, please put up your table, we’re starting to descend,” the stewardess told you.

Mrs. Jung. That was your new name now.

You had no relation to this surname that you had gotten assigned to only sixteen hours ago through a fake ID and passport at the airport. It sounded so foreign and disturbing to your ears.

This “Mrs. Jung” wasn’t you, yet you had to slip into her role and pretend to have been someone else’s wife for a significant part of your life already. It was a role you didn’t deem yourself to be suitable for at all.

You were a young, single woman who lived her childhood dream of being a ballet dancer. After having attended different dance academies around Asia and Europe, you had settled with your first engagement, the Korea National Ballet, back in Seoul for the meantime where your family was residing.

A week ago, you had gotten the confirmation letter that you were accepted into the Dutch National Ballet after having studied there the year prior.

Your life was finally everything you had been working so hard towards since you were little.

And then, your future had gotten stripped away from you. Just like that.

“Mrs. Jung?” The stewardess passed by again. “The table.”

“Oh sorry,” you quickly apologized and put it up to properly lock it.

You then proceeded to stare out of the window, the plane having brought you to a continent you had never set foot on ever before. Narrow streets, tiny houses and small forests passed by you in a blur of earthly colors as the plane slowly angled downwards to start its final descent.

You hated your new life already.

_____

“My duty here is finished,” the officer, who had been accompanying you all the way to the US, told you. “I’ll be taking the next flight back. But no worries, a driver is already waiting for you and will escort you to your new home. You must be relieved, you’re almost there now, Miss.”

“Relieved, detective?” you mocked and crossed your arms in front of your chest. “I’ll be exchanging the life of a successful ballerina for the one of a housewife, stuck in the nowhere on the other side of the world, because you couldn’t do your job right. What in the hell should I be relieved about, tell me?”

“Listen, Miss.” He lowered his voice as though there were other people besides you in this domestic charter flight. “Detective Jeong is one of our best people for this job here, I heard. So when it’s about life or death, there is no other place you’d rather be at the moment. He surely wants to be elsewhere as well, so that makes you two people that have to arrange themselves with this situation.”

“Jeong?” You raised a brow. “Isn’t his name Jung also?”

“Your fake name applies to the both of you of course. It’s a fine, but grave detail to his real one, also for easier spelling. Don’t ever use it in front of anyone though.”

You barely listened to him. “I don’t care. I don’t care about any of this.”

“I’m sorry this happened to you, really.” He sounded almost empathetic. Almost.

“Don’t be, I know that deep inside, you aren’t. You think you did a good job, detective. If you wouldn’t have sat on your asses all day long and laid out all my collected evidences properly instead, I wouldn’t even be here on this stupid plane, in this stupid country!”

“I already told you there is nothing that we can do anymore, Miss. Stalking cases, where the suspect hasn’t done any harm yet, are always hard to handle since not everything can be considered solid evidence. That’s the thing with social media.” He was tired of leading this conversation, but you weren’t, because you knew you were right. “Besides… The judge hasn’t even passed the sentence yet.”

“But they’re close, and we all know what the sentence will be, otherwise I wouldn’t be here! And it’s only because my father pays such a huge amount of money that you’re willing to get me into this program and away from him.” Your heart was full of hostility, and you let him feel every single bit of it. “Otherwise I would possibly be dead by tomorrow.”

“Again, I’m sorry this happened to you, Miss.”

“Screw your half-assed apologies! I’ve lost my trust in the police a long time ago!” you yelled at him. “You’d rather want a woman dead than get a stalker behind bars!”

And, once again, replied with, “I’m sorry, Miss.”

You didn’t want to hear any more of this, so you remained quiet for the rest of the landing approach and just bid an annoyed farewell to the detective when you disembarked the aircraft. By the exit, after you had picked up your luggage, you were welcomed by the announced driver.

“Hello, Mrs. Jung. I will accompany you to your new home,” he greeted you. “Welcome to Connecticut. Follow me please. Here, let me help you with your luggage.”

You tagged along with a distance of two steps until you got out of the airport and into his car. The ride distanced you from the airport and thus from the next city as well. While you were hoping to cross another town soon, no such thing happened.

“How far is it?” were the words you finally brought out after half an hour of driving. “It’s been quite a while and all I’m still seeing is… green.”

“Oh, it’s still an hour, Mrs. Jung.”

“An hour?” you squealed and sat straight up from the backseat. “Where are we driving to? Maine? This was Connecticut already, how far into the province are we going?”

“Where your persecutor won’t find you that easily, Mrs. Jung.”

You swore to god, if he called you “Mrs. Jung” again, in every sentence… But it was the first time someone used the word “persecutor”, and it kind of caught you off guard to have someone not talk down on your case.

You leaned back in your seat and closed your eyes to relax after such a long flight that also included a layover. It worked out a bit too well in the end though, sleep eventually engulfing you with the mundane sound of the car rolling over the road in the background.

You only woke up much later when the car had already come to a halt. At the outside, when you groggily opened your eyes, you saw two figures talking to each other in front of your side window. One of them was the driver who had brought you here, the other though, you could only make out the outlines of as he stood with his back turned to you, but it was definitely a much taller man.

“Couldn’t you have gotten someone else?” the unfamiliar man spoke.

“Since when do detectives in your position get to choose the person they will protect?” the driver asked back.

“It’s just… that she’s…” He faltered.

“A young dancer at the peak of her career?”

“Don’t go there.”

At that moment, he turned around to you and your eyes met. You didn’t know who was more shocked to see the other. So that was him, your “husband”. How dare he speak about you like that! As though you were happy over this situation!

Your eyes were wide open now and you aggressively unbuckled your seatbelt. Opening the door, you stepped outside, getting greeted by the driver right away.

“You’re awake, Mrs. Jung! May I introduce you to your husband Jaehyun? Around here, for better pronunciation, he’s known as Jay.”

The unfamiliar man, obviously going by the name of Jaehyun/Jay, said nothing to you, not even during the entire time your eye contact didn’t break. You felt him clearly examining you from head to toe though, but not in the way a guy checked out someone he was interested in.

No, he was eyeing you from head to toe like he was inspecting a piece of leftover meal that he was unsure of whether to still eat after finding it in the very back of his fridge seven days after preparing. He was full of disgust, and his off-putting behavior was masking how ridiculously good he looked at the same time.

In the end, he decided against the meal and shifted back to the driver. “She’s looking even gaudier than in the pictures.”

“Excuse me?!” You clenched your fists. “What do you mean?!”

But he ignored you. “She’s looking like a Christmas tree, drawing attention to her wherever she goes. So flamboyant.”

“This is called fashion! People in Seoul wear such outfits!” you retorted, upset that he was still treating you like you weren’t there and simultaneously insulting you.

The driver just patted his shoulder. “I’ll get going.”

When he had driven away, you were left alone with Jaehyun or Jay - if that was even his real name, but you supposed it wasn’t, a fake name like yours and your both’s surname most likely as well.

You stood there kind of awkwardly in the small driveway of the house you needed to call your new home from now on. Judging from the outside, admittedly, it looked like a cozy country style bungalow, spacious enough for two people and with no other houses in the immediate radius.

You would have liked it very much for a short vacation if you wouldn’t have to share it with a stranger who apparently didn’t have the hots for you anyway.

“Let’s go inside,” he barked with suppressed anger, and you wondered why he was already behaving so hostile towards you.

But at least, the feeling was mutual since he was a policeman as well. Starting from the day they had laughed at you when you called 911 shortly after the physical stalking had started, you had vowed to hate every single one of them.

When you stepped through the entry door, heaving the luggage up the stairs yourself, because Jaehyun was not gentleman enough to help you, you were positively surprised.

The interior was bright and modernly furnished. There was a huge kitchen, open to the living room that looked equally comfortable and cozy with a soft couch. Additionally, there was an entire wall filled with books only at the opposite of the window facade by the entrance.

“The bathroom is over there.” Jaehyun stood next to you and pointed with his finger to one of the two doors behind the kitchen. “And that is the bedroom. No worries, it’s all yours, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“You better do so,” you murmured and went straight to the bedroom, dragging your luggage behind you.

“You’re not allowed to go outside all alone. Either I accompany you or you ask for my permission and tell me exactly where you go and for how long.”

He spoke like a robot who had memorized an instruction, and who knew, perhaps he was even one. This already felt like jail. Whether you were here or at home, leaving either wouldn’t be safe for you. It didn’t make any difference except that you hated it here. And him.

Jaehyun cleared his throat. “I’ll prepare dinner.”

“I’m not hungry.”

You shut the door behind you and looked around in the room before you let yourself fall onto the huge bed and stared at the ceiling. Minutes later, you found yourself crying so hard like you had never cried before in your life.

Your entire body shook, and you sobbed so loudly, you feared that Jaehyun might hear it. But you actually didn’t care. You would gladly let him know that he wasn’t the only one feeling miserable in this situation you two were in, even though you voiced it differently.

Missing your parents, grandparents, friends and everyone else dear to you, you now realized that you were all alone. You hadn’t been allowed to keep your phone in case you’d be tracked down and thus weren’t allowed to get in touch with anyone from your former life either in case someone accidentally revealed your whereabouts.

Another part of you mourned the end of your career that you had been working so hard towards and that hadn’t even really started yet. This same part hated your father for putting you into this program, but loved him at the same time to go through these lengths to ensure your protection.

But the biggest part of you hated the man who had laid his eyes on you a year ago and vowed to never leave your side again in the most controversial ways.

The man who had ruined your life.

This was what he had wanted for you - cornered, shut off, frightened. When admiration turned into hatred, there was no space for happiness anymore. You had never felt more agonized. And lonely.

And with this feeling, after your sheets were all wet from too much crying, you slept in long after night had fallen.

____

The ringing doorbell woke you up, and judging by the misty light that flowed into the bedroom from the outside, it must not be past nine in the morning. You must have slept for over fourteen hours.

Opening your eyes in a slow manner, it took you a few moments to adjust to your surroundings. At first, you were happy to have woken up in your home again - until you realized it quite wasn’t and reality dawned on you, a dreadful feeling instantly weighing down on your heart that nearly caused you to bawl right there and then again.

You grabbed a pillow and put it over your face to drown out the noise that was coming from the door. If anything, it was Jaehyun’s responsibility to open it as he was closer to the source, and you weren’t even sure whether you were allowed to let strangers in.

But the string of constant noise just wouldn’t subside, and jet lag was hitting you hard.

“Goddammit!” you yelled in annoyance, jumped out of the bed and stormed into the living room.

But there was no sign of Jaehyun, the couch neatly made, so no one was even able to suspect that someone had slept on it the night before. You tiptoed to the window close by the entrance door to get a look at the person standing outside.

It was an old, asian woman with gray hair.

The moment she spotted you by the window, she quickly hurried over and excitedly signed you to open the door. In her hands, she presented a bag, dangling it in front of your vision. You neither had the time nor the patience to put up with her right now, but since she had spotted you already, there was no chance that you could still avoid her.

“Yes?”

You opened the door, not paying attention to your disheveled hair and the clothes from the day before. Whatever she wanted, you hoped that she would finish fast.

“My, my!” she called out in delight. “You must be Mrs. Jung, having arrived yesterday, right?”

You nodded, still not having adjusted to that name. At least you were fluent in English. “Yes, that’s me. May I help you?”

“I brought you a set of dumplings as a welcome gift. Here, take them. According to the villagers, they taste the best in my restaurant, Mrs. Jung. I’m sure they only say it because I’m running the only restaurant here, though.” She winked and then laughed as you took the package into your hands, slowly waking from your petrification. “Far away from your home country, I thought you needed something familiar, and food always manages to lift the mood, am I right? I must know, because when I immigrated here from Vietnam, I also felt lonely.”

This old woman’s surprising genuine gesture seemed so sweet to you though, you had to gulp big time to hold back your tears that were still present from before. Amidst a sea of turmoil, she radiated so much warmth and grandmotherly love, it made your chest tighten and soothed your pain at the same time, and you regretted your malign thoughts from earlier.

“Thank you so much,” you said wholeheartedly, softly.

“Grandmother Anh!” The two of you simultaneously spotted Jaehyun hurrying in your direction while crossing the front yard. “What are you doing here so early in the morning?”

“I wanted to drop by and bring you a set of dumplings as I remembered your wife must have arrived by now,” she explained and pointed at the bag in your hands. “Freshly made.”

“Thank you so much, grandmother Anh!” He wasn’t paying attention to you. “It wasn’t necessary for you to come all the way up there though!”

She waved aside. “A short trip up to here hasn’t hurt anyone yet, right?”

“You want to come inside for a cup of tea?” you offered her as you deemed it suitable for a situation like this despite not knowing whether you actually had tea. It earned you an angry gaze from Jaehyun though, and you wondered what you had done wrong.

“No worries, dear, I have work to go after now, and I’m sure you want to have some time to adjust yourself to your new living situation. Thank you for the invitation though. And don’t forget to step by my restaurant!”

When she was gone, you retreated to the inside, but as soon as the door closed behind you, Jaehyun threw a fit.

“What the hell were you thinking?” he yelled at you. “Oh, I know! You weren’t even thinking! Opening the door for someone you don’t know, even though you’re currently in a security program, are you nuts?!”

“Of course I’ve looked through the window before!” you shot back at him angrily. Stranger or husband, nobody was allowed to talk to you this way, and in contrast to the day prior, you had enough energy now to give him hell back. “If it was a suspicious looking man, I wouldn’t have let him in, but this was a nice grandma! My stalker is still in detention until the court decision, so he won’t come here so easily, and I doubt he has accomplices in the middle of the american nowhere when he’s just a simple korean man!”

“Listen up here, I’m trying to teach you a point,” Jaehyun pressed through gritted teeth, urging you to move backwards until your feet hit the baseboard and your back rested against the wall. “You know why you’re not allowed to use the phone or the internet? You log yourself into your social media account, congratulations, you just disclosed your location and he’ll appear here once he’s free. You call a friend while being connected to a local radio mast, congratulations, you’re now in danger again, because he’s hired a technician to track your steps. The same goes for people. One tells the other who they’ve seen here, words spread, someone knows someone who knows someone who knows him. Or one of them takes a picture, it lands on the internet, and things on the internet stay on the internet. It will then only be a matter of time until he comes across it. How do you know what he’s capable of? Because he’s ‘a simple korean man’? You’re smarter than this!” For the time he paused and inhaled deeply. “I’m here to prevent all this from happening, to prevent him from finding you, so you have to follow me. Since you’re not known by anyone yet, I have to run a background check, and we still have time to study our story so that they’re going to match. Until then, you’re gonna stay quiet and inside.”

“I didn’t ask you to be my protector!” you defended yourself, his closeness flustering you still. “No one from the police has ever helped me anyway, so stop acting like you care about my wellbeing!”

“Care about your wellbeing?” He revealed his pearl white teeth when he scoffed. “I don’t care about your wellbeing. It’s just that I want to get out of here as fast as possible and you’re just something that holds me back if I don’t take care of it. So you play by my rules or you go back now.”

“You-!” You swallowed the rest of the sentence.

With a slip to the side, you escaped from his fearful presence and crossed the living room in a hurry to lock yourself inside the bedroom again.

Only hours later, when hunger got the better of you, you dared to come out. The dumplings laid on the dining table where you had dropped them off earlier, and you couldn’t ignore the gurgling sounds your stomach was making anymore.

Jaehyun was sitting on the couch, typing something into his laptop and minding his own business without looking up to you. You were grateful for his ignorance as neither of you wanted to back off from your argument earlier, so you took half of the dumplings and retreated back into the bedroom from where you didn’t come out for the rest of the day.

At night, you cried yourself to sleep again.

____

“Let’s go grocery shopping.”

You were very much surprised when Jaehyun offered to take you on a short trip to the supermarket two days later. Yesterday, you had only been living off leftover dumplings and hadn’t felt any appetite, even until now. This was your very first interaction since the argument.

“I don’t want to,” you blocked it off.

“It’s weird and actually more suspicious when everyone now knows that you’ve already arrived, but don’t show yourself. We have to blend in, that’s how it works here in the countryside. And I have already done a background check on everyone, they’re clean. Besides…” He hesitated. “You should start eating properly.”

You didn’t care about his reasoning as you didn’t want to go out at all. Staying inside, hiding and being left alone sounded like the proper activity according to your mood, but Jaehyun wouldn’t budge, so you had no other choice than to finally dress up and accompany him against your will.

You hadn’t seen anything from the village except for your own house so far, so you got a bit excited when you finally stepped out onto the streets. The sun was shining brightly that morning, and it was kind of comfortably warm already for early spring.

When you did a 360 degree turn, you silently noted that the village was located on the slope of a hill, your house placed on the highest point and the other houses stretching a few hundred meters apart from each other along the main street and scattering into narrower ones.

The view and the location were splendid, you had to give credit for that. You weren’t the kind of person to seek this kind of tranquility as you were more a fan of a buzzing city, but somehow, you didn’t find it so bad here.

The houses were all so small and looked so cozy, embedded and blending in with nature, and the village overall was surrounded by trees and the greens of the connected grasslands that reached to the very top of the mountains.

“If we should come off as a couple, you have to stay by my side.”

You hadn’t noticed how Jaehyun had gone ahead already and quickly fell into his step. You were kind of grossed out by the idea that he would suddenly want to take your hand or do something else that young couples usually openly showed to prove their affection towards each other, so you kept your arms close to your body. But luckily, he didn’t seem to be fond of such a thing right now as well.

As you were walking down the street leading to the village center, Jaehyun told you, “I’ll be starting my work tomorrow. I’m a police officer here, so I’ll be gone for the majority of the day.”

“You work?”

“In contrast to you, I have to.”

“I see,” you noticed curtly. It wasn’t like you minded. No, you rejoiced even!

“But don’t get the wrong idea,” he reminded you as though he was reading your thoughts. “It doesn’t mean you can do what you want and go wherever you want.”

You rolled your eyes. “I understood the first time already.”

“Very well. We’re here,” he then declared when you stood in front of a store, not bigger than a 7/11.

“That’s it? That’s the grocery store?”

“Yeah. What did you expect anyway?”

Yeah, what exactly did you expect to discover in this small village? You sighed. “Let’s go inside.”

A high-pitched voice directly greeted you from the inside. “Mr. Jung! Is this your lovely wife? I can’t believe I finally get to see her! Welcome, Mrs. Jung!” A middle-aged man approached you from the counter, took both of your hands and shook them excitedly. “I’m Mr. Jones. Please help yourselves. You’ll find here everything that you need. My store might be small, but it’s rich in its ingredients.”

You felt Jaehyun’s stares in your back when you carefully greeted him back with a, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Jones” before you went back to his side like the obedient wife you were supposed to play.

Jaehyun was wandering through the small aisles and put one grocery after another into his shopping basket. From afar, he truly looked like a caring husband. But you knew better.

“What do we want to cook for dinner?” he asked nonchalantly, almost kindly.

For the first time, his voice wasn’t filled with anger or tension that you would also find in your own tone whenever you opened your mouth to speak to each other. In front of the people, you had to conceal your negative feelings towards each other.

“Hmm…” You looked through the shelves, Jaehyun tagging along. “I’m kind of craving fried rice.”

“I’d rather have steak.” He put the meat in the basket.

Of course he’d get what he wanted. But you didn’t want to back down either and bought the ingredients for your own cravings.

“Mrs. Jung, please make sure to step by again,” Mr. Jones told you when he packed your groceries. “We always have fresh fruits, you’ll love them!”

You nodded, totally not in the mood for smalltalk with strangers.

Back at home, you waited until Jaehyun had finished preparing his steak before you cooked your own dish. You ate in silence, him on the couch, you in the bedroom, both of you then cleaning after yourselves in silence, too.

And that slowly became your arranged routine. Silent and separate, yet still together physically.

____

You had spent the past days inside the house mostly, reading, watching TV and staring at the ceiling. At home, you barely had time for these trivial things as you were always practicing, even during your free time. But your free time now was endless, and simple leisure activities prevented you from falling back into this deep, black hole that engulfed you every night, luring out your tears.

You didn’t want to go out, you didn’t want to talk, you barely wanted to eat.

When you felt like this at home, you would just start dancing, but now, you didn’t even have that. Your life was dull after you had been ripped off your passion and your entire future. You didn’t know whether, if you’d ever return, you could catch up again.

At this point, you were asking yourself whether this life was actually worth living. But if you were to give up now, it only meant your stalker had succeeded. This was what he wanted, and you wouldn’t give him this.

As you were lying on the couch that evening again, staring into space, you heard Jaehyun coming home and immediately shot up to go back into your room. You wanted to spend as little time around him as possible.

But he didn’t let you go far. “Mr. Jones saw you in the driveway this morning as he drove by.”

“...And?”

“You know for sure that this isn’t allowed,” Jaehyun hissed sharply. “I prohibited it.”

“But why?” you genuinely wanted to know. “I was only catching some fresh air, nothing to fret about.”

He didn’t show any compassion. “If you want some fresh air, open a window, but, under no circumstances, are you allowed to leave the house when I’m not there. Think about what would have happened if it was someone else driving by, not Mr. Jones!”

“You’re totally nuts!” you yelled now. “And paranoid! That man doesn’t even know I’m here, so technically, I can roam around freely if I want to!”

“This is why I didn’t want you,” Jaehyun growled, his voice full of contempt. “The moment I saw you in the car, I knew what kind of person you would be. And I was proven right. You’re so reckless and neglecting in regard to your own life. On top of that, you’re so audacious as well, and I actually despise people like you. You didn’t even need this program, you’re only here because your father wanted to protect his little princess!”

You froze, and Jaehyun turned stiff in the same breath, your eye contact not breaking despite the interruption. Almost simultaneously, it became clear to you both what he had just said, and the extent of his hurtful words.

Jaehyun opened his lips, his eyes wide in shock. “I-”

The ringing doorbell broke through the distressing silence between the both of you and Jaehyun crossed the living room to hurry to the entrance door.

“Hello Mr. Jung!”

“Grandmother Anh, what a surprise!” he greeted her, still a bit overwhelmed, but trying to downplay the situation. “What brings you here?”

“I was wondering whether you and your wife already have plans for dinner and whether you are interested in joining me and a few other villagers at my restaurant this evening?” she asked politely, trying to get a glimpse of the inside.

“My wife is doing fine, only still adjusting. There is just so much work to still go after inside the house, so we barely have time at the moment. I’m afraid we have to decline.”

“That’s unfortunate,” the old woman commented. “But I still hope that you can make time this evening and join the dinner. We would be really pleased!”

“I’m going to ask her, alright?”

“Actually I wanted to ask her pers-…”

“Grandmother Anh?” you popped up behind Jaehyun and interjected. “I would happily join the dinner along with my husband! Thank you so much for the invitation!”

“Oh dear, I’m so glad! Then I’ll be going to prepare something nice for you two then, alright? See you later!”

When she was gone, you didn’t resume the topic from earlier, but instead said, “She probably heard it. She probably heard everything and was anxious about what was going on in here. Perhaps, she even thought we were physically fighting, so I had to show myself to let her see that everything is okay.”

“You could have just politely declined,” Jaehyun interposed.

“That’s not the point,” you explained calmly, walking around in the living room and pulling the curtains together. “The whole point of us being here is that we will pretend to be a happy couple, not drawing any suspicion on us. Doing grocery shopping every few days together just doesn’t do it. Didn’t you yourself say that words spread fast here?”

He didn’t want to concede it, but Jaehyun’s following words were his own gesture of acknowledging your believability. “So, what do you suggest we should do?”

Perhaps, he also realized at that moment, that he was missing something that you had been contributing from the very beginning: the ability to not only think rationally, but also compassionately.

And that sometimes, your reckless acts originated from this character trait of yours, being a person who relied mostly on emotions and urges. He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again.

“We’re going to show everyone how happy we are as a couple. That it was a usual lovers’ quarrel, that we don’t physically fight, and that you don’t keep me locked up or whatever. And since you’ll be there too, it’s safe. Satisfied?”

You weren’t fond of all that, of the thought of going out, meeting people and pretending you were living the happy life of a married couple. But you had no choice.

You didn’t admit this openly, but this was your only way to survive this hellhole and eventually return to your old life one day.

____

You were more anxious than excited to finally step out of the house again. When you stood in front of the restaurant later that evening, you barely brought yourself to crack a smile. How were you supposed to pretend to be happy when all you wanted was to cry?

“Stop.” Jaehyun held you back when you already wanted to enter through the front door. “Didn’t you forget something?”

You cursed inwardly, having hoped that he had forgotten about it. Why had you even mentioned such a thing as holding hands to prove the nature of your relationship? You would rather not, but you also saw that it was necessary to come off as a true couple and not two strangers who had just met. Even though the latter was true.

So you placed your hand in Jaehyun’s for the first time. It felt surprisingly warm and tender, and so different from the attitude he always showed you. How could someone so grouchy and cold have such tender and warm hands?

Jaehyun’s fingers enclosed around yours, and the unexpected feeling he caused you to experience currently didn’t have anything to do with the fear of getting touched by him. By far not. Not even something close to it.

You were so flustered that you barely noticed how he led you into the restaurant, right towards a large table on which a handful of people were already seated, and all their heads turned to you.

“Oh my, it’s the Jungs!”

You directly spotted grandmother Anh who approached you from behind the counter, taking your hands into hers and out of Jaehyun’s grip.

“Welcome! Dear, let me introduce you to the other villagers,” she addressed you. “Mr. Jones already told me that you two met, but these are…”

She proceeded to list four names that you forgot right after again, and you then took one of the two left free seats at the table along with Jaehyun while the old woman was bringing in one dish after another.

“Please help yourselves!” grandmother Anh then announced after she had sat down well. “Dig in!”

The entire table was filled with different dishes from the region, but also asian food. You felt your mouth watering after having lived off your humble cooking skills ever since your arrival.

“You see, this is a special restaurant,” grandmother Anh explained to you. “I’m not specialized on Asian or Western food. Basically, I can cook anything by order.”

“That’s true,” a middle aged woman next to you answered, Mr. Jones’ wife. “Mrs. Anh started off with an Asian restaurant, but since she’s running the only food place here, the requests started to pile up.”

You swallowed the last bite of delicious fried rice - your go to comfort food - before you responded, “No matter Asian or Western, your food is very delicious, grandmother Anh.”

“I’m so happy you like it, dear!” She smiled from ear to ear. “Hurry, eat up before all the others do!”

You nodded, and for the first time since you had gotten here, you didn’t only feel hunger, but also appetite as you reached for fried chicken, more fried rice, baked potatoes and steamed vegetables all at once.

When you were training - which was usually all the time - you hadn’t had the pleasure to eat such delightful food as you had to follow a very strict diet to remain your figure. Just a few grams more would have gotten you kicked out of every academy. Of course you stole a secret bite of fast food and sweet treats here and there, but tonight was the first time you could actually eat without compunction.

“... And you left everything behind for your husband, even your job?” Mrs. Jones casually dropped when the dinner slowed down and everyone was finishing off. “That’s so courageous!”

Before you had come here, you had studied both of the roles that had been assigned to you very thoroughly. Jaehyun was the cop who had found a new job here, and you, his wife, had followed from Korea to settle with him in rural Connecticut. That was the part of the script that bothered you the most as this was something you would never ever consider doing in the first place. Giving up your dreams for a man - they wished!

“The things women do for the love of their life, hm?” you only brought yourself to say reluctantly, dripping with hidden sarcasm.

“My husband also made us both move from Vietnam to here,” grandmother Anh clinked herself into your conversation. “He was always dreaming so big, dreaming about living the American dream. I wasn’t fond of the idea, but I was even less fond of living a life without him. So I followed him.”

“Where is your husband now?” it blurted out of you, and you regretted it right at that moment already when her face fell. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s alright, dear,” she brushed it off in understanding about your unawareness. “It’s been five years without him, and I still miss him dearly. With my experience, I can put myself in your shoes very well. You feel lonely and depressed very often, hm? A new country, new people, an entirely new environment, and a husband who’s not home for the majority of the day. It’s hard to adjust.”

Those feelings had nothing to do with Jaehyun, but with yourself only, so you confirmed them with a nod.

“How about you join our female poker round every wednesday?” Mrs. Jones then proposed. “It’s grandmother Anh, the girl sitting over there named Rosie, and me.”

When the girl heard her name, she briefly raised her head and smiled at you.

“Poker?” you asked carefully. “I’ve never played poker before.”

“You’ll learn it in no time!” Rosie encouraged you. “I’m pretty sure we aren’t playing it accurately either, but we’re having lots of fun and drinking lots of wine. You’ll love it!”

Poker with two elderly women and a girl around your age that you had barely interacted with before didn’t sound like your usual pastime activity back there in Korea. But at least there would be alcoholic drinks, and it would help you avoid this dark hole for a little while, you assumed.

“I’m afraid my wife might not be able to join,” Jaehyun then cut you off at the moment you wanted to excitedly accept their invitation. The three women looked at him in the same confused manner as you. “She’s really busy with work around the house and chores.”

“I’m sure I’ll be done by wednesday, that’s how fast but thorough I always work,” you affirmed to the women, avoiding Jaehyun. “So I’ll join you for sure.”

Jaehyun opened his mouth again, but it perhaps dawned on him that when he objected now, he’d look more like a husband mistreating his wife. The fact that he was known as a police officer didn’t affect the situation positively.

“Okay,” he then gave in. “I’ll let you ladies have fun.”

“Oh it’s going to be so fun!” Rosie exclaimed and clapped her hands together.

You were really looking forward to something now as well, for the first time since you had gotten here.

____

“Go, yell at me,” you provoked Jaehyun when you walked through the front door of your house after the dinner.

But he didn’t. Instead, he hung up his jacket, totally muted, put his phone on the kitchen counter and walked straight into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Whatever, if he didn’t want to talk about it, then you didn’t need to talk about it either.

With dragging steps, you then moved over to the kitchen yourself to get something to drink before your eyes fell onto Jaehyun’s phone.

Your front teeth sank into your bottom lip as you stretched out your hand in the direction of the device. You knew it was wrong, you knew what consequences it would all bring, yet you couldn’t hold back. The temptation was too strong.

Your fingers glided swiftly over Jaehyun’s display as you typed the name of your stalker into the search bar. And the first article that popped up was the one reporting about his release.

Dated today. You knew it. You just knew it.

You cursed under your breath as you read through the comments that were almost all defaming him and the acquittal following everything he had done to you. When it had gotten public that a popular ballerina had been stalked, the media was quick to cover the story. Before, no one had cared about it.

The majority of people having your back in the comment section were only a drop in the bucket. But it still was soothing somehow.

When you went back to the search results, you found an article about you retiring from the Korea National Ballet. It wasn’t a big one, but had still gotten covered by a local newspaper after your absence from the performances had been noticed, and they were quick to link your decision with your stalker not getting a sentence because the state of evidence was too insufficient.

Your fingers trembled, because now, as soon as he picked up these news, he would start searching for you and carry out his threat that he had sent to your home through a letter a week before you had started your new life here,

I will come for you.

“You know for sure that this isn’t allowed,” Jaehyun scolded strictly next to you, and you flinched, nearly letting the phone drop before he snatched it out of your hands. “Didn’t I already tell you that with today’s technology, every time you go online, you leave traces? You want that? Having him here?”

“I didn’t log into any social media or anything,” you defended yourself. “I just… looked him up, and hundreds of other people pulled up that website also, so.”

“Even that is not-”

“He’s free,” you interrupted him, your breathing only coming in hitches as you realized what it meant for you. “As of today, he’s free again, and he’ll come for me. Like he wrote in that letter.”

You shut your eyes, ready to get yelled at, but Jaehyun didn’t say a word again. With the phone in his hand, he went into the bedroom - your room - and you followed him. You didn’t know what this meant. Had you gone too far tonight?

“What are you doing?”

He jerked something out of the closet, and at second glance, you recognized the thing in his hands as your suitcase which he then threw at your feet.

“Go pack. You’re going home.”

You blinked in confusion. “What?”

“If you don’t give a damn about your life, you don’t deserve to stay here. So you should go home.”

He was so cold and indifferent about it, it made you shudder. And that stare of his. You hadn’t seen it before. This was serious.

When you had first come here, you would have rejoiced and would have willingly accepted a flight ticket back. But with this knowledge, the thought about setting a foot on Korea’s grounds with your stalker on the loose raised your hackles. Then, this entire nightmare would start all over.

Hesitantly, you brought yourself to admit that this was where you were the safest now. On the other side of the world, by the side of a detective.

“Please…” you started.

“What am I supposed to say?” Jaehyun asked, overly annoyed, not breaking eye contact. “You defied my orders. Again. You think I didn’t know about this? I knew before you did, before the media did. It’s because of your reaction that I wasn’t supposed to say a word. Now look at what it has done to you! Will you ever get a good night’s sleep again?”

“I’m sorry!” You had never said that to him before, so this was a huge step for you. But you meant it. “I couldn’t resist. I had to know.”

“Of course you had to. You always have to meddle. Did something positive ever result from your meddlings? Perhaps, your meddlings have even brought this upon you!”

You stared at each other and Jaehyun’s face fell when it dawned on him what he had just said. Once again.

“You’re not better than any of them,” you hissed. “Yet, I’m not going anywhere.”

You picked up your suitcase and threw it back into the closet. When you turned around, Jaehyun had left your room already, so you quickly closed the door in case he would return and hid in the safety of your familiar four walls until the next morning.

____

When wednesday finally came around, you were still feeling some sort of anticipation that Jaehyun’s hurtful words hadn’t been able to entirely tear down. You had only interacted with him when it was truly necessary since the day he wanted to kick you out, otherwise avoiding him at all costs. At least, he hadn’t prohibited you from going today.

“Remember to only share the most necessary things about us,” Jaehyun repeated again as you walked along the streets to grandmother Anh’s restaurant. “And not more. Don’t invent anything, just dodge the topic. If someone wants to take a picture, prohibit it. But luckily, people here aren’t so obsessed with social media.”

“It’s so easy for an emotional klutz like you to say such things,” you grumbled. “But it’s something entirely different when people put pressure on you, especially when you’re in such a small group.”

“Whatever,” he shrugged it off. “Just dodge everything you can dodge.”

You rolled your eyes. You hadn’t wanted him to come with you, but one of his conditions was to still accompany you everywhere once you stepped outside of the house, so you had no choice but to walk with him all the way there.

“I’ll pick you up at ten, okay?” Jaehyun confirmed, and you nodded. “If something happens-”

“What should happen? We’re in the middle of nowhere and I’m just playing poker with the three less suspicious people on earth. Give it a rest already.”

“If something happens,” he continued unbothered, “or you start to feel uneasy… even if you only want me to pick you up no matter the reason, even if you’re only a few minutes away…” He reached his hand into his pocket. “Take this, just in case.”

He held up a black flip phone in front of you. One which you had only seen in action way back then in primary school, and which you deemed antique by now, because you were only able to send text messages and make calls with it. That kind of phone.

You took it into your hand and opened it up. The black and white display only showed one number when you pulled up the contacts list. You proceeded from the assumption that it was Jaehyun’s.

“It’s curbed, so you can only call me. Shortcut is one. The card has fifteen bucks on it, but I doubt you’ll spend it all unless we talk to each other for six hours straight. So don’t even think about calling someone you know from back home.”

Perhaps, a tiny part of him did care in the end. At least more than any policeman back there in Korea throughout the span of a year.

“Okay.” He cleared his throat. “See you later then. At ten.”

What you had wanted was an apology. But this was nearly just as good and his very own way of saying sorry, you saw that now.

Jaehyun turned his back to you and slowly walked back while you stored the phone away in your purse and entered the restaurant through the front door.

Not much later, you found yourself laughing among the other three women, having forgotten about your miserable situation for the evening as you hadn’t had so much fun in a long time already.

Poker had faded into the background and you were getting to know about the other women more than playing cards. And while you were talking, you emptied one bottle of wine after another.

“So tell me,” Rosie urged, “how did you and Jay meet? It’s so rare having such a young couple deciding to live with us so secludedly!”

“We’ve met when we were both still in university,” you revealed, having studied this part of your new identities very carefully so that your stories would match. Yet, you couldn’t help but to spice it up a bit. “Through mutual friends. We couldn’t actually stand each other at first. I hated his guts, and he hated mine. But we slowly warmed up, and the rest is history.”

“At first, I couldn’t quite read him as well,” Rosie admitted. “So I found his character very off-putting. But Jay is actually really warm-hearted and caring.”

No way she was talking about Jaehyun. You suppressed a laugh.

“That’s true!” Mrs. Jones nodded. “When he came into the hardware store earlier today, I was there too, talking to Mr. Alden. And he was searching every shelf high and low for an MP3 player. You know, one of these old things that you can only listen to music with which no one uses anymore. Mr. Alden didn’t have one of these of course, so he ordered it for him. He looked very stressed about it, but in a desperate and not angry way. More like a gift he needed promptly.”

An MP3 player? What would he need it for? In your world, your husband wasn’t capable of showing or even bearing feelings at all. Why was it then, that these people had a whole other picture of him?

“One time, at my father’s pharmacy,” Rosie added, “he asked what my father could recommend if someone suffered from a stomach ache. Apparently, his wife, so you, was in pain one night, and he wanted to be prepared for the next time this could occur. So, I would say you truly have a dedicated husband.”

You frowned. You had indeed suffered from a stomach ache one night, searching through the shelves and ending up making tea instead as you hadn’t found any medicine. That you had found it the next day, you had blamed it on your absent-mindedness.

“Mr. Jung surely has a warm heart despite his stoic demeanor. Otherwise he also wouldn’t have helped me when I had fallen on my back. That happened only last week. He carried me all the way to the doctor’s,” grandmother Anh continued.

There had truly been a day when Jaehyun had only come home much later than usual, and he was commonly very strict in keeping his routines. You hadn’t asked him about it though and had shrugged it off again. That was how indifferent you always were at home. Perhaps, you then realized, you should start doing exactly that: communicate.

You couldn’t continue living with a person you openly despised and didn’t care about. Jaehyun had said a few awful things to you, but the phone in your purse and what people were telling about him were proof enough to you that he was, indeed, different from the cops you had encountered until now.

Most likely, he wasn’t so awful and you had only failed to see. Jaehyun had given you a few second chances. Now, it was your turn to give him one.

“Why the long face?” Rosie pulled you out of your thoughts. “Let’s celebrate the start of your new life here! Grandmother Anh, I’m going to open another bottle, alright? The night is still young, cheers!”

You heard it pop for the second time.

____

You woke up the next morning with a headache. You didn’t know how you had gotten home or when, but the last time you had gotten so drunk, it was in the academy in the Netherlands. These village people’s alcohol tolerance was really on a whole other level!

A glimpse at your phone told you that it was midday already, and you suddenly were sitting up straight in your bed. But since you had no business anywhere anyway, you fell back against the mattress.

You then slowly drifted off to sleep again when the doorbell interrupted your nap. That was the downside of living in such a small village. People just came over whenever they wanted.

“Have you just woken up?” Rosie asked you.

A bit embarrassed, you scratched your head. “Maybe…”

“It’s been a tough way home, hm?” she laughed. “Jay also didn’t quite know what to do with you.”

“To do… with me?” you repeated with widened eyes.

“Oh my!” Rosie covered her opened mouth with her hand and giggled. “You can’t remember a thing?”

You shook your head. “Nothing.”

“You were so drunk after our fourth bottle of wine, you slept in right there and then. Jay had to carry you in a piggy back out of the restaurant and all the way home up here, and you didn’t even bat an eye.” She chuckled again. “And then, you only cried, ‘I wanna go home, I wanna go home!’ while he constantly replied, ‘You’re gonna be home soon’. And you said again, ‘But not this home!’”

“Holy!” you gasped. “I really can’t remember!”

Everyone knew about the drunken truth, and Jaehyun had also certainly known that you didn’t mean this home when you had said you wanted to return. If the alcohol had gone to your head much more, you would have probably revealed your true identity by accident! You suddenly felt so defeated. You had put yourself in danger. Again.

“Make sure to reward him properly for all the convenience with a nice meal or otherwise, okay?” Rosie winked and handed a paper bag over to you. “And start out by giving him these painkillers for his back pain. My father doesn’t recommend using it on a daily basis. Perhaps, change your mattress to a less soft one as they probably stem from that.”

“But our mattress is not soft,” you commented naively and accepted the painkillers when it suddenly crossed your mind that he didn’t even sleep on the bed. “It’s probably only because he naps on the couch so often,” you briefly corrected yourself. “I’ll have an eye on it.”

After Rosie said goodbye to you, you closed the entry door behind you and directly went into the bedroom to prepare something before Jaehyun came home.

When he eventually walked through the front door a bit later that day, he didn’t say a thing about the night before, but calmly took off his jacket and went to sit on the couch without greeting you.

Communicate. Your start. “Can you come to the bedroom real quick, please?”

Without a complaint, he arose again and followed you. When you opened the door, you presented a room to him with your clothes and other stuff all gone, the bedding freshly exchanged.

“This is your room from now on.”

Jaehyun blinked in irritation, and it was not the first time that you witnessed him turning so startled. You continued to take him aback. “I don’t understand…”

“I’m sorry,” you apologized to him quietly and bowed. “For having caused such havoc last night, being a burden to you again. When Rosie told me what happened because I can’t remember a thing, I realized that I put us both in danger again, now with my habit of drunkenly telling the truth. It wasn’t my indication to do so, and I will look after my alcohol consumption much better from now on. As I will do with everything else, of course. I will be obedient and follow the rules.”

He slowly turned around to you, his expression not quite distinctive enough for you to read. “Okay.”

“And because of your back pain, Rosie dropped by earlier with the painkillers. But I know it’s all because of me too. So, here, have the bedroom. It’ll be much better if you sleep on the bed as the mattress is not as soft. I’ll take the couch, I’ll be fine.”

You both stood there, quiet for a while. Until Jaehyun broke the silence himself. “There is a mattress.”

“What?”

“Here.” He crouched down, put his hands in the compartment under the bed and pulled out a small mattress that had been kept there apparently. “It’s too small for me, but for you, it should be fine. Let me carry it to the living room for you, okay?”

You smiled and nodded. “Thank you. And thank you for the stomach medicine as well.”

He opened his mouth to return something, but seemed to get too flustered and closed his lips again. It was familiar to you.

“I’m sorry too.” You turned keen-eared. What had he just said? Jaehyun’s ear tips turned red as he looked to the side. “I- I didn’t mean it. You’re not… you know.”

He didn’t elaborate what he referred to. But he didn’t need to. You knew what he had exactly apologized for, and accepted it. All the things, little and big. About you being a princess, about you always meddling. And about you having brought this upon yourself.

Your husband wasn’t a man of many words, but he had silently accepted your apology too by starting to sleep in the bedroom that night and leaving the new mattress to you.

You hadn’t been much of a great wife either, and you silently promised to him to be a better one from now on.

____

You were alone the next night, Jaehyun working overtime as one of his colleagues had spontaneously wanted to change shifts, so he had to take up on two in a row.

That was why, even by 1am, you still weren’t able to sleep. In your pajamas already though, you wandered up and down the living room, your thoughts swimming. You had kept the lights turned off as you went back to your mattress every now and then when you felt ready to finally fall asleep, only to fail once again.

You had gotten so used to having Jaehyun sleep in the room next to you that now that he was gone, you couldn’t fall asleep at all as you felt so defenseless. You were not paranoid about your stalker having gotten here, but with Jaehyun around, you had been able to fall asleep with more ease.

All by yourself though, you felt at your own fear’s mercy.

THUD

You froze on the spot. What in the hell was that?

You were currently facing the window, but the noise came from the other side of the closed door where the bedroom was located. Believing that your hearing might have fooled you, you held in your breath and listened closely.

Thud.

Again. This time, not that loudly, but it was clearly the same noise as before. You almost didn’t dare to make a move. It was in the middle of spring, the weather was warm and the moon was shining brightly. This was not the background noise of a thunderstorm.

Thud.

No, you hadn’t been fooled by your own hearing. There was definitely something going on in the bedroom that should not be going on, and Jaehyun was not here tonight! Restraining your breathing volume, you tiptoed to the kitchen area, hoping the parquet under your feet wouldn’t audibly give in.

THUD.

Louder. Your heart was racing, but you told yourself over and over again that you couldn’t afford losing your nerves now. Perhaps, it was an animal trying to get in, perhaps the wind pressing a branch against the glass, but perhaps also someone trying to break in.

It couldn’t be him.

… right?

He was still in Seoul, you had obediently followed Jaehyun’s rules, you had left no traces. There was no possibility that he could be here.

… right?

The faults you had made hadn’t been that grave. You were now obediently following the rules.

… right?

As your gaze fell upon the kitchen counter, you reached for the phone Jaehyun had given to you and dialed the shortcut. The phone was shaking in your trembling fingers as the display lightened up and you saw it trying to connect to Jaehyun.

But he didn’t pick up. You tried again and again. But he didn’t pick up even after the fifth attempt. You nearly wanted to cry. What was a police officer husband good for when he wouldn’t even come to rescue you?

Whatever, you didn’t need him anyway. You were a strong, independent woman, you would take matters in your own hand. Literally. So you grabbed the pan that was lying on the stove and headed for the bedroom door.

At this moment, you didn’t know what was louder. Your own heartbeat, your own breathing or the thudding that came from the bedroom. Perhaps, all at once, and the only thing that kept you going right now was the thought that you just didn’t want to die here, all alone, on the other side of the world, without having seen your friends and family again.

BAM.

“Hey!”

You flinched the second you stretched out your hand to press down the door handle as the lights suddenly turned on, and a sharp scream escaped your lips as you were sure your life was flashing before your eyes. The pan fell onto your feet, missing your toes by a hairbreadth, as a pair of strong arms wrapped around you from behind.

Then, you realized that you were crying as you twisted and turned, trying to escape. “Let me go! Let me go!”

“It’s me!” a familiar voice then came through to you. “It’s Jaehyun! It’s me!”

His voice, his scent. This all suddenly embraced you as it dawned on you that indeed, it was him. You had just not known what it was like to be held by him which had startled you so much as you had never had any physical contact before.

In his arms, your chest was still heaving up and down heavily, but he held you closely and tightly, with no intention to let you go now as tears continued to stream down your face.

“It’s okay,” you then heard Jaehyun whisper, his voice close to your ear. “I’m here now.”

He only let you go after you had stopped trembling and crying out loudly, and only reluctantly with a deep sigh from your part. You didn’t know where that had exactly come from though.

As you then turned around to him, you clenched your fists and hammered against his chest. “You idiot! Where have you been?!” you yelled at him. “I’ve called you five times, but you didn’t pick up! What do you have a cell phone for!”

Jaehyun didn’t hinder you from letting out your anger. Only when your strength was slowly subsiding as exhaustion settled, he enclosed your fingers and explained to you calmly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear it ring as I was in the car with my colleagues, and when I got out, I was already here and saw that you have called five times.”

“I- I… I heard,” you stuttered, but you didn’t quite know how to explain your situation. What if he would think you had only imagined it and didn’t take you seriously?

But Jaehyun did exactly that without you having to explain yourself. “My colleagues are currently searching the property high and low. I came here the moment I left the car.”

“I heard a thudding noise coming from the bedroom. As though… I don’t know. Someone was trying to get in. Through the window… I don’t know, there was definitely something!”

“Okay, let me check.”

You were hiding behind Jaehyun as he slowly pushed the door open and got in position. Then, he switched the lights on and you saw, as you peeked from behind him, exactly nothing. With slow steps, Jaehyun crossed the room and positioned himself in front of the closet. As he drew the door open, as expected again, you only found clothes inside of it.

“All clear inside here,” he then confirmed and approached the window to open it, calling outside, “What’s up out there?”

“All clear out here!” you heard someone yell in the distance.

“All clear in here as well!”

“You want us to stay put?”

Hesitantly, Jaehyun turned around to you, and then back to the window. “It’s okay, for tonight, I got this. Thank you.”

“Alright.”

Your teeth sank into your bottom lip as you stood by the door and felt embarrassment crawling up your cheeks. “I’m sorry. I was so sure…”

“Don’t ever apologize for such things,” Jaehyun cut you off, and you faced him with insecure eyes. “You were scared, and your feelings are valid. Nothing else matters.”

The majority of people would have brushed it off. But Jaehyun had taken you seriously the moment he saw you all alone, so scared.

Only later that night, when you were ready for bed again, it sank into you that this was probably what the other women had talked about when the topic revolved around Jaehyun last week. Finally, even for only a short moment, he had shown you this part of him as well.

“Where is my mattress?” you then asked when you came out of the bathroom.

“In the bedroom,” Jaehyun deadpanned. “Come.”

You raised a brow, but willingly followed him to the bedroom where you found your mattress lying next to the bed.

“Tonight, you can stay here. Just…” You heard him gulp. “... just… in case you feel unsafe and scared again.”

He made it sound like you had requested for it, which you surely hadn’t, and you both knew. It was Jaehyun’s manner of offering you some kind of security and solace, just because he wanted to, not because you had asked for it.

“Thank you.”

“And next time when I have the day off, I’m going to show you how to shoot with a gun.”

“... what?”

For the first time since you had come here, you didn’t cry yourself to sleep. You didn’t know whether it was because of the shock that was still lingering or because of someone else sleeping right next to you, even though not on the same bed.

“Jaehyun?”

“... Hm?”

You had your back turned to the side of the bed and were facing the wall from your small mattress, eyes wide open while listening to Jaehyun fiddling with the blanket just two feet away from you.

If you had faced him at this moment, you didn’t know if you would still have said what you were about to say.

“I take it back. You’re better than all of them combined.”

He knew what you meant, and despite his missing audible answer, you were sure he had gratefully acknowledged it.

When Jaehyun’s breathing rhythm became quieter and more regular, you could finally relax as well, a foreign nervousness falling off your shoulders and letting you drift off to sleep shortly after.

You felt so safe like never in your life before.

____

“What exactly happened with that man, if I may ask?”

You were standing in the backyard, Jaehyun getting the gun prepared while you watched him.

“I thought you had all the background info about me before I got here already?”

“Not the details. I only know about a guy who’s stalked a popular ballerina in Seoul. She dragged him to court, but the judge decided that the evidence was too insufficient and that he’d most likely get free. Since the ballerina claimed he had threatened her again, she was put in this program voluntarily.”

“I didn’t claim that he threatened me,” you disagreed. “He sent a letter. With a death threat. To my home. But the judge said it cannot be proven that it’s from him.”

“I only told you what I heard.”

Yet, he had still taken your fears from the night before seriously. You wondered whether, if Jaehyun had been responsible for your case back there in Seoul, you would still be here now.

“It started with a simple bouquet of roses after every performance shortly after I joined the Korea National Ballet a year ago,” you started. “I just returned from the Netherlands and it was my first engagement as a professional ballerina. At first, I found it flattering to already have such a dedicated fan. He’s a man in his early thirties, neat, groomed and very polite. Until he made his intentions clear and I rejected his advances. That’s when he stopped being polite.”

“That’s where it usually starts,” Jaehyun noted.

You nodded. “Admiration turned into obsession with bouquets that got even bigger and more pompous. With letters that claimed his unconditional love for me. With presents that I’m too embarrassed to talk about. Then, obsession turned into harassment. With phone calls from different numbers over one hundred times a day. With a date’s car tires all slashed. With fake online profiles of mine where manipulated nudes popped up. Back then, I still thought I could handle this all by myself. I’m a grown up woman. I’m responsible for myself.”

“When did it change?” Jaehyun questioned. “When did you report everything to the police?”

“When I started getting texts like ‘Better pull the curtains together when you sleep’ right after I went to bed and ‘Home sweet home’ with a picture of me entering my apartment building. I never disclosed my home address to anyone.”

Jaehyun was lost for words.

“And what did the police do? Nothing. Because they had too little conception of such things, they told me. The guy never signed his gifts, never showed up physically again as well. Presents, calls and letters aren’t a crime. And they didn’t take the phone calls as well as texts seriously enough to track the source as they claimed they wouldn't be able to do it.”

“I’m sorry.” Jaehyun released the gun’s safety catch, and you heard it in his voice that, in comparison to the detective from the plane, he was sincere about it. “There are detectives who care and detectives who don’t care. After all, we’re all normal people. But they were clearly people who didn't care enough.”

“I’m not alone with this situation. There was a case where the stalker waited under the girl’s bed. Another one waited in her roommate’s closet. Another one waited for her right on the streets. And they all ended up dead. I don’t want to join them. I’m only lucky to be here, because my father had the money to. These other girls weren't so lucky. But I want to be lucky and strong for all the girls who couldn’t be and can’t be in the future.”

“What do you mean?”

“I will come back home,” you responded determinedly. “I will come back home and get him imprisoned. This time, forever.”

“I haven’t encountered a woman like you until now,” Jaehyun concluded after some beats of silence passed by in which his gaze didn’t divert from yours.

You furrowed. “Like me?”

He nodded and held up the gun. “So fearless.”

You took it as a compliment and smiled. You hadn’t heard such kind words out of his mouth until now. But then again, this was the first proper conversation you two shared since you lived together.

“Here.” Jaehyun showed you how to properly hold the weapon. “Make sure this finger is here and this one here. Right now, it’s not locked anymore. If you pull the trigger…”

“... it will shoot.”

“Yes. Here, let me lock it again and then try releasing the safety catch yourself.”

You took the gun from his hand after he was done and placed it in your own palms. Positioning your fingers where Jaehyun had shown you, you weren’t able to get it right on the first attempt.

“Your index finger must be here.” Jaehyun touched it and moved it around. “And your thumb… right. Here. But a bit lower for a better grip.” He gently motioned this finger down as well.

Where you had loathed his touches before, you still minded them. But oddly, not in the same, negative way. No, better say in a way that made you wish he would have his fingers placed on yours for a little bit longer and one that made you crave for more than these little touches.

“You wanna know how to aim at your target?”

Excitedly, you nodded and heard Jaehyun chuckle. For the first time, very genuinely. It was like last night had broken the ice between you two that should have melted weeks ago already.

“Hello? Someone home? It’s me, Rosie!”

“Quick.” Jaehyun took the gun from your hands and hid it behind his back.

“We’re outside!” you called out and saw Rosie turning around the corner a moment later.

“Hey you two! What a beautiful sunday, right? I hope next week, the weather will be just as beautiful, because then… drum roll please… we’re going to hold our annual spring festival!” She lifted up her hand and presented a few colorful flyers to you. “Please come, okay? There will be boots, an animal competition and a stage for karaoke!”

Immediately, you were hooked. “Of course!” But then, it crossed your mind that you were only allowed to go outside with Jaehyun’s confirmation and instantly fell back into silence, unsure whether to face him.

“You two have fun together. I have volunteered to patrol that day, so I’ll be kind of there anyway.”

Jaehyun had indeed given you indirect permission!

“Oh, it’s going to be so cool, trust me!” Rosie clapped her hands. “Okay, I’m going to inform the next house! I’m telling you, the people coming into the village center less than you are the Schmidts! See you next week at the latest, alright? And you, we’ll be seeing each other tomorrow at poker, okay?”

You hadn’t known that you were invited again, that you had gotten welcomed with open arms and accepted into this community. But it made you very happy, and you nodded.

“Of course. See you tomorrow.”

Later that day, Jaehyun placed a small object on the table that you hadn’t seen in quite a while. Since primary school, to be exact.

“This is for you.”

“What’s this?” you asked, even though the answer was quite clear.

You were sleeping in the living room again, but somehow, since the night you had spent by Jaehyun’s side, you felt a bit more lonely than before. You weren’t crying yourself to sleep at all anymore, yet the feeling of loneliness still lingered.

And it was not the kind of loneliness that made you long to hear a family member’s voice, it was more than that. This, you were sure of.

“An MP3 player,” Jaehyun announced and crinkled up his nose. “I figured, if you were to spend your time here with no connection to the outside world aside from the TV, you might as well spend it with your passion.” He placed a pair of earphones next to the device. “You can use it to listen to music only or to dance. Just as you please.”

You looked at Jaehyun, and saw it clearly now. With the person who had made you feel so unwelcome the day you had landed in this unfamiliar country, he had nothing in common anymore.

This was not only a side of him, this was him.

The man Mrs. Jones had talked about who had searched the shelves high and low for exactly this device. The man Rosie saw buying stomach medicine and the one who had helped grandmother Anh when she had fallen.

This man had finally shown himself to you too in all his aspects.

You didn’t know what had made Jaehyun accept you for who you were to him, but somewhere along the way, he had settled with this arrangement.

And you were getting adjusted to your new life as well, you realized as your features softened.

“Thank you.”

____

When the day of the festival finally came around, you stood with Rosie in front of grandmother Anh’s booth and tasted her dumplings together.

“My dear girls, you need to try these too! I experimented with another filling, so please give me feedback.”

The old woman shifted another plate in your direction, but you and Rosie waved aside in unison.

“Granny, we’re so stuffed already!” Rosie said. “And you don’t even want us to pay! Leave these for your actual paying guests.”

“Alright, alright! But I’ll make them for our next poker night! And then, you’ll tell me how they taste!”

“Okay!” you agreed. “We’re going to Mrs. Jones’ booth now, grandmother Anh. See you later!”

Linked with Rosie’s arm, you made your way through different booths, passing by people from neighboring villages as well as the stage, until you reached Mrs. Jones at the other side of the festival ground.

“Hello my favorite girls!” she greeted you cheerily. “Look what I have! A cotton candy machine! You can each have one for free!”

“Are you sure you can operate this?” Rosie skeptically raised a brow. “When people serve these, they look so professional, but you haven’t ever used one before, or am I wrong?”

“That’s not true!” the woman whined playfully. “Don’t be so rude, Rosalind Richards, or I’ll have a talk with your father!”

“Guess I’m not one of her favorite girls anymore!” Rosie whispered to you, and you chuckled while Mrs. Jones prepared the cotton candy for each of you.

In the end, the outcome wasn’t even that bad, she only needed to practice a bit more. With the cotton candies in each of your hands, you and Rosie walked over to watch the animal competition.

People had brought their dogs and walked with them up the stage where they demonstrated different tricks. You and your friend were standing there for the entire time, eating your cotton candy and watching the dogs show off what they had practiced for. When the competition was over, you rode a few rounds on the small ferris wheel and visited the other booths, only finishing your tour when the sun was already setting.

Your last stop was a shooting gallery where you met Jaehyun overlooking the situation. He had been here since the morning, so you assumed he was off duty now as he wasn’t in his uniform anymore, standing at the sidelines, joking with another colleague.

You had never seen him effortlessly interacting with other people in daily situations before, and for the first time, you perceived him as the normal man that he was outside of your fake marriage. Casually standing there, talking, laughing. A normal man whose dark hair was blowing in the wind, his sleeves rolled up, his arms folded in front of his chest.

A perfectly normal man who was also very attractive.

As his head slowly moved to the side, your gazes met, and you gulped, somehow embarrassed that you had gotten caught, although it was only natural to look at your partner.

Jaehyun was a man you could have easily felt attracted to if you had met under normal circumstances, not as your fake husband and your taciturn protector.

You had only failed to see clearly until this day.

“Oh look, it’s your husband Jay!” Rosie then finally noticed as well. “Let’s go over to them!”

A smile spread across Jaehyun’s face and he lifted his hand to wave at you. When you approached his group though, he got called over to the booth and took a rifle in his hand. Apparently, he had lined up to shoot.

“Oh let’s watch him!” Rosie urged.

“Jay is our best shooter,” one of his colleagues said proudly. “Look closely.”

He was leaning over the booth’s counter, his rolled up sleeves revealing his muscular arms and veiny hands. His entire body was tensed up, every single nerve concentrated on bringing down the targets. The air was almost static due to the tension as even other people stopped to watch.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Before you could even process what had happened, Jaehyun had shot down all three targets at the first go, and the spectators were rejoicing.

“Wow!” Rosie exclaimed. “What was that? I couldn’t even follow the happenings!”

Indeed! You watched Jaehyun giving back the rifle and having presented the prizes in the back of the booth which offered everything, from giant plushies, different toys to knick-knacks. Knowing Jaehyun, he would probably take a pass on that, so you were quite surprised when he chose something from the knick-knacks.

You couldn’t see what it exactly was, but as he shifted around to you, Jaehyun approached you with a keychain dangling between his fingers. It was a yellow elephant that wore a red tie. It looked hella ridiculous and childish - but not to you.

Stretching out his hand, Jaehyun held it out to you, and you were stunned, not exactly knowing where to turn your attention to: the gift or Jaehyun who looked at you with a gaze you had never seen on him before.

As you didn’t move, you felt Rosie’s elbow poking into your back, pulling you back to reality. No, you shouldn’t behave like a dumbfounded twelve-year-old, this was officially your husband after all!

So you raised your hand and took the keychain between your fingers. It was a plush knick-knack that probably wasn’t valuable at all. But Jaehyun had chosen this one among everything he had been offered to give it to you. And you would treasure it dearly.

You smiled. “Thank you.”

“It’s late. Let’s go home?”

You nodded and said goodbye to Rosie before you followed Jaehyun across the festival ground. You had trouble keeping up with his steps among all these people, so Jaehyun did what every other good husband would do: he reached for your hand and kept it in his until you had left the premises.

That was only for the show in front of all these people, you kept telling yourself the entire time. You had to prove to them that you were a happily married couple, and such couples did things like these.

The keychain, which you had attached to your purse, dangled with each step you took as you raised your voice, “Jaehyun…”

“Hm?”

“Why are you here?” you wanted to know. “You know my story, but what about yours? Is this your department?”

You spent every day alongside this man, yet knew nothing about the true him. At first, you hadn’t cared either. But the more time you spent by his side, the more it irked you that he was still such an enigma.

You thought he’d stonewall, but he gave you a clear answer, “I’m the NYPD, as a matter of fact.”

“Oh, I see. New York, hm.” You nodded. “And… why are you here?”

The way his fingers cramped up around yours made you freeze despite having to keep up with his pace while walking. You had hit a sensitive nerve, you immediately became aware of that.

“I’m sor-”

“You really want to know?” he asked back.

“Yeah.” You shrugged.

“I did something a good detective should have never done.”

And with this sentence, he wasn’t about to tell you more. He didn’t need to express this, you were able to read the atmosphere. But that only kept your thoughts spinning. What was something so terrible that a detective could do that got him transferred to another area of responsibility?

You didn’t believe that Jaehyun was a bad person.

He was cold at times, but an entirely cold person wouldn’t have let you sleep on the bed while they were enduring back problems. He was grumpy at times, but an entirely grumpy person wouldn’t have warmed up to the point of letting a smile slip every now and then. He pretended not to care at times, but a person who entirely didn’t care wouldn’t make sure that the people around them would be well and healthy.

He was crude at times, but an entirely crude person wouldn’t have held your hand until you were home.

____

“What are you doing?” Jaehyun asked you when he came home from work that day and found you sitting at the edge of the bathtub with the bathroom’s door wide open.

“Dyeing my hair.”

“Pink? Red?” he asked.

“Magenta. It was quite an adventure until I had the base, but I think I’m there now,” you explained while you stirred the color in the small bowl in your palm. A huge amount had already been put on your head.

“Isn’t it too…” He stopped.

“Too flamboyant?” You intentionally used the word he had described you with the first time you had met. “Probably. But, just in case someone will ever make a connection between me and the ballerina from Seoul, they will dismiss the thought immediately since my English is almost flawless and my hair doesn’t match the color.”

Jaehyun seemed to ponder about it, but then confirmed your way of thinking. “I think you’re right.”

“Besides…” You smiled mildly. “Ever since I was little, I was never allowed to alter my appearance. A ballerina has to look perfect where perfect means we all have to look the same. Same hair, same makeup, same figure. It’s kind of nice to try something new after all this time.”

“Okay.” Jaehyun held up a plastic bag. “Grandmother Anh gave me these dumplings when I dropped by her restaurant today. I’ll prepare them for dinner, okay?”

“Alright!”

“Hurry up, they’ll be done in a few.”

“Got it.”

You quickly finished dyeing your hair and wrapped it all up with a shower cap before you went to the dinner table where Jaehyun had not only prepared the dumplings, but also different side dishes such as rice and vegetables.

You hadn’t known that he was such a good cook, but thinking back, Jaehyun had always prepared more extravagant dishes in comparison to you who just threw rice and vegetables together. In fact, you had never quite learned how to cook.

This was the first time that you and Jaehyun ate dinner together and the first time that he had cooked for you, too.

“You look ridiculous,” he commented while he scooped rice on each of your plates. But was this a chuckle that had accompanied his voice?

“It’s not quite done yet. Wait until it’s washed out and dried. I’ll be the only pink-haired ballerina walking on this earth!”

You threw your hands in the air, almost tipping over a bowl, but you didn’t mind. Somehow, this was a very good feeling - to finally make your own decisions for your own body, your own appearance. It was only a minor change, but to you, it felt like you could conquer the world.

“Enjoy the meal!” you announced and then dug in.

By the first bite you could tell that Jaehyun was not only a good cook, but an exceptionally good cook. This, you also told him, which turned him all flustered. He then asked about your day to which you answered that you had thought of finally picking up dancing again after much struggle.

“Why did you struggle?”

You lowered your head. “Because the last time I danced, it only brought me misery.”

You were at your last bite, but suddenly didn’t feel like finishing anymore. Before, you had felt something like easiness, even happiness almost for quite a constant while. Now, your thoughts got thrown back to your stalker who was roaming around in freedom.

“If it’s your passion, you shouldn’t lose sight of it. Because you don’t know whether you will still be able to enjoy it whenever you want in your future.”

You didn’t know what he meant with that, but he wasn’t keen on explaining either as he gathered your plates and brought them over to the sink the moment after.

It was the first evening in a long while that you peacefully enjoyed without a burdened heart. You wouldn’t mind this becoming your routine.

Later that evening, when you had washed out the dye and dried your hair, you hid in the backyard of your house where no one could see you with earplugs in and the MP3 player attached to your body, picking up some ballet moves again.

Sheltered from the whole outside world, you tried to let the fact sink in that you were safe here and that no one would come to make your life miserable after a performance. Here, you could actually be at peace again.

And then, you danced until it turned dark.

When you returned to the inside, Jaehyun had accidentally fallen asleep on the couch with a book on his chest. On tip-toes, you sneaked up to him and wanted to take the book out of his hand to put a blanket over him when something suddenly urged you to halt.

The first two buttons of his white shirt were open, and right there, between the first and second one, you spotted a scar.

Of course. A detective always went hand-in-hand with danger. He was your husband, you saw him every day, yet this was the first time that you noticed this visible mark on his chest. How many more dangers had he encountered so far? How many more bullets had he caught during his young career? You knew nothing about it.

You stretched out your hand, determined to touch the spot, but snapped out of your trance-like state just before you laid your fingers on him. In your head, you scolded yourself. What in the hell were you thinking, behaving like such a creep?

You tried to calm yourself down when suddenly, Jaehyun’s hand snatched forward and wrapped around your wrist before you could even blink. You got bent forward over the backrest with his other arm then enclosed around your neck, his eyes full with surprise as he brought your face close to his.

“You’re so beautiful.” Barely a whisper from him.

You stared at each other for a moment in near disbelief, and you didn’t know where the ground and where the ceiling was anymore as everything around you seemed to rotate. Your whole body felt so hot as though you were suffering from a fever, but your heart beating out of its usual rhythm told you that the reason for your body reacting this way was nowhere near something rational things could explain.

A part of you wanted to break free, another part wanted to look into his soft eyes just a bit longer.

“It’s you!” With a sigh of relief, Jaehyun let go of you and fell back down on the couch. “I wasn’t able to recognize you at first because of your new hair! I thought it was a thief or something!”

“Ha.” You couldn’t even explain the sounds coming out of your mouth anymore, and thus decided to remain quiet about it. “I’ll go take a shower.”

“Okay. I’ll go to bed then. Good night.”

When the door fell close behind you, you leaned against the bathroom’s tiles, trying to calm yourself down once again. But even when you placed your palms on your cheeks a few minutes later, you were still hot all over.

Staring at your face in the mirror over the sink, you gritted your teeth, having tried to fight against this feeling for so long. But looking at your reflection, you came to the realization that this was the expression of someone who had lost this fight a long time ago.

You had never wanted this to happen, because you wanted a way out of this fake marriage someday.

Now, it seemed like the exit door was blocked by your own feelings.

____

“Can I tell you something?” Rosie asked you the next time you gathered to play poker. “Because you’re my friend now, I want to be honest with you.”

Mrs. Jones was currently giving out the cards, and while you collected them, you nodded. “Go ahead. Is it my hair? You’ve been staring at it forever. I like it though.”

“I love the color, but it obviously looks like you did it yourself. Why didn’t you call me? I could have helped!”

“I’m sorry, it was an urge, I’m very impulsive. So, what is it then?”

“To be honest, in the beginning, you and Jay didn’t quite radiate the happiness of newlyweds to me. You were so distant and cold towards each other,” Rosie laid out her first impression. “I thought it was because of the cultural difference. I know from grandmother Anh that in Asia, public display of affection is not very common and you both immigrated from there. But it was like…” She halted. “Like you were strangers. Not familiar with each other at all. As though you had just met.”

You didn’t know how to properly react to this revelation, and Rosie wanted to apologize right away before grandmother Anh stepped in to support her, “I second that. You tried so hard to conceal it and pretended to be a happy couple, but my old eyes can see beyond that. When he bought the music player for you though… I knew that something had entirely changed between you two.”

Between you two?

You had only assumed that for you things had changed since the day of the festival. When he had looked a little too good that day. When he had smiled a little too genuine. When he had held your hand a little too long.

But never for him either.

“Everything has changed,” grandmother Anh continued. “You look so in love, just like when my late husband was courting me back then.”

You pressed your lips together to a fine line and you tried so hard not to blush, but to no avail as you looked into everyone’s eyes and encountered a smug grin from each side.

No, you were wrong. The day of the festival was the day you had assumed first, admitting it to yourself the day you had picked up ballet again. But something had changed for you before all that. Slowly, continuously. And it was still in process.

“See?” Rosie teased. “This is how Jay looked as well when I told him exactly the same!”

“Quit joking,” you replied briefly, but your voice only came out as a whisper while the hotness wandered further to the very tips of your ears. “You’re giving out cards now or what?”

“Let me tell you something!” Mrs. Jones now meddled too, not wanting to be left out. “After so many years of marriage, I haven’t seen my husband getting so stressed about buying a gift for me, not even on my birthday!”

But you hadn’t even talked to each other regularly back then when Jaehyun was looking for the MP3 player for you.

It just didn’t make sense to you.

Or were you just in denial because it couldn’t actually be possible? After everything that had happened between you two, Jaehyun had grown fond of you from the very beginning already, even before you?

“Oh dear, why are you making such a face?” Grandmother Anh sounded worried as your hands still laid on the table, not touching the cards you had been given while everyone else had already picked up theirs. “Are you not feeling well?”

You were certainly not feeling well. Your stomach had turned upside down, and you suddenly felt like you couldn’t breathe, on the verge of a collapse. While it had become so obvious to everyone around you, you had been left in the dark this entire time.

“I need to get fresh air.”

You arose, pushing the chair under you away with your legs and hurried to the entrance door before you thought you were going to run out of air entirely now. But even the outside didn’t make a difference, and you were supporting your arms against the wall while breathing in and out heavily.

After a while, you heard the entrance door open and close again, and judging by the shoes that you could see from your position, Rosie had followed you to the outside.

“I called Jaehyun to pick you up.”

“What?!” Your eyes widened and you felt your stomach turn. In your hot ears, you heard it ringing while simultaneously, your loud heartbeats tried to steal the show. “I’m all fine!”

“Yeah,” she chuckled. “But I thought you’d rather want to be with your husband today than with us, and this is a good excuse to leave the round. Just pretend to be a little dizzy.”

“Rosie!” you called her out while the next moment, you heard fast footsteps approaching in your direction. “I’m not coming to your birthday barbecue anymore next week!”

“I know you’re lying.” She winked.

“Are you okay?!” Jaehyun came to a halt in front of you, totally out of breath and beads of sweat visible on his forehead. He only needed a brief moment to take a breather before he faced you, his features drawn with apprehension, his eyes mirroring pure concern.

The next moment, his palms were on your cheeks, and he gasped, feeling your heat burning against his skin.

“You’re all glowing and hot!” Jaehyun stated in shock. “Do you have a fever?”

“I-I’m… I’m all fine!” you tried to brush it off, but his hands cupping your face possibly made it only worse as you felt like melting from within.

“Jay, you need to take her home, okay?” Rosie persuaded him. “The gathering is over. Have a good night!”

With these words, she turned around and closed the door behind her, leaving you alone with Jaehyun. Despite having been alone with him so often already, with all this new knowledge, everything was different now.

You were jittery and all nervous around him, having problems looking into his eyes, and he noticed of course - but for all the wrong reasons.

“Come, we’re going home! You’re sleeping in the bed tonight, no questions asked. I’ll get a few more blankets so you’ll have it all warm in case you’re catching a fever. Tomorrow, you’ll be doing fine again, no worry. It’s probably the change in weather since it’s been unusually hot these past days for spring.”

You hadn’t ever seen him so talkative and openly expressing worry, and it somehow took you by surprise. Goosebumps raised all over your arm as Jaehyun’s hand slid down your side and his fingers intertwined with yours.

There were no other people aside from you out here at this hour, there was no need to pretend being a couple - yet, he held your hand as you walked all the way up to your house in silence.

It didn’t feel real to you.

But the night sky was your witness.

____

A few days later, long after nighttime had fallen, you were lying on your mattress, still wide awake like the nights before.

You hadn’t noticed until now, but your life wasn’t so dull anymore. You weren’t on the verge of depression anymore in contrast to the first month in your new home. You had made new friends, had picked up your passion for ballet again, trained during daytime, and spent the evenings with Jaehyun, cooking, eating and then watching a movie or taking a stroll on the hill behind your house together.

It was an entire different life from the one you had lived back at home in Seoul, but nothing you enjoyed less. No, which you enjoyed even more, if you said so yourself.

A warm feeling embraced you every time the clock approached the hour your husband would return home, and even though you saw each other every day, it was like seeing him for the first time, your heart almost jumping out of your chest whenever he walked through the door, greeting you with a smile.

You were able to clearly name that feeling now that made you so excited, you were barely able to sleep at night while Jaehyun was lying in the room next to you, sleeping peacefully.

Or… could he not either?

There were noises coming from the bedroom. You sat straight up on your mattress, feeling a rush of hotness wash over you with your heart beating out of its usual rhythm. Flipping the blanket over, your naked feet touched the wooden floor, but you didn’t bother slipping into your shoes.

You tiptoed to the bedroom to make sure that your ears hadn’t misled you, but you swore you could hear him walking up and down in there as well. With a trembling hand, you placed your fingers on the handle, but before you could even think about how in the hell you could explain what you were doing in front of Jaehyun’s bedroom in the middle of the night, only dressed in your light pajamas, the door suddenly opened from the other side.

Jaehyun was just as shocked to see you as you were shocked to see him. You wanted to stutter something about sleepwalking, but as you made eye contact, you realized that he wasn’t expecting an explanation from you.

He wasn’t expecting anything as he closed the last remaining gap between you two, his hands cupping your face again, this time to pull you against his chest.

And as his lips met yours, you now were assured that he had lied awake every night like you as well.

____

With hasty movements, Jaehyun unbuttoned your pajama top all while not letting his lips slip from yours, his fingers rather fumbling, but knowing exactly and precisely what they were doing and the carelessness most likely stemming from pent-up anticipation, because he was finally getting what he had wanted all along:

You.

You felt him smiling into the next kiss that came rather sloppy in his hurry as your shirt glided from your shoulders, the palpable traces along your skin getting replaced by Jaehyun’s fingers that drew down the same path in a feathery-light manner.

He was holding himself back until it almost hurt, you felt it as his fingers’ grips were first tight, then froze and softened lastly. But you didn’t want him to hold back. You had both been holding back for way too long already.

Both of your hands slung around Jaehyun’s neck as you deepened the kiss until it almost became hard for you to breathe, that was how wildly and hungrily you were craving for each other. With a little jump, you also hooked your legs around his waist, feeling him supporting you instinctively from the bottom with a strong grip.

You moved from the door frame to the bed where Jaehyun seated himself down and placed you on his lap, but you had no intention of moving away as your fingers vanished under his shirt and pulled it over his head in one swift motion.

But Jaehyun’s lips didn’t find their way back to your mouth. Instead, they traveled down the side of your neck, eliciting a moan from you in the process, and stopped by the raising of your breasts. You threw your head back, your nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders, leaving red marks as he took your nipple between his lips.

Sucking sounds mixed with the audible rhythm of your heavy breathing, thwarted by suppressed squeals whenever he bit into it, pulling it between his teeth and teasing you until you couldn’t take it anymore. So Jaehyun then wrapped his arms around you and flipped you both around.

“You have no idea for how long I’ve been holding back,” he told you with an expression on his face that you had never encountered before as he was hovering over you.

Lust, desire, and so much… passion.

Yes, you for sure had had no idea. But you luckily did now.

Strands of your red hair had gotten disheveled, partially disturbing your view, and he brushed them off, smiling. For a short while, you shared a moment of loving understanding, and your heart thumbed so fast against your chest, you were scared he was going to hear it.

There was a distinct feeling growing inside of you that didn’t want to admit. That you couldn’t confess, not even to yourself. Because you knew, this was only temporary.

“Then show me,” you challenged him.

“Very well.”

His grin widened, revealing his teeth even in the semi-darkness when his mouth came back down on yours, his hands roaming across almost every single inch of your body as though he wanted to keep a map of your body in his mind. As though he shared the exact same thought with you:

That this was not permanent, struggling with holding himself back to prolong the experience and going through with the act as fast as possible because he had been looking forward to it for so long already.

Jaehyun’s lips left yours, passing by your neck and tracing down to your stomach where he placed butterfly kisses around your navel, and you shuddered from the soft touches that you had been missing out on for a very long time already.

Your hands disappeared in the thickness of his hair as his lips further approached your nether regions, and you gave him credit for still being so patient when release was so close as it made you almost go crazy in contrast.

Tender warmth covered your core, the fabric of your pajama bottoms being the only barrier between the two of you, and you craved for nothing more than to feel his tongue inside you right now, feel how it dipped into your wetness, his mouth doing the same as he had done to your breasts before.

But Jaehyun’s patience had reached its limit. There was nothing left of it anymore.

After several moments of internal conflict, Jaehyun decided to not withhold anymore and to go for it instead. At the end, he had the entire night, and he would make use of every single second he had left.

The mattress gave in under you when he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your pajama bottoms after he had removed his own boxers, the feeling of his weight then carefully pressing back down on you, now the both of you entirely naked. It felt so surreal to you as you locked your gazes, and you needed a moment to process this situation, to let the fact sink in that this was indeed real.

Then, as though he had just done the same, Jaehyun eased between your thighs and started to enter you. The night was still so long, but it felt like he didn’t want to lose any time, and neither did you. You hadn’t noticed how wet you had gotten throughout the foreplay which had made his entrance so easy, almost imperceptible.

Your pupils rolled to the ceiling as he adjusted and you finally felt him inside you fully. You couldn’t quite remember the last man you had been intimate with, even though it had happened only shortly before moving here, but somehow, Jaehyun had clouded your memories of every other man in your life who wasn’t him at this point.

As a matter of fact, on the contrary, you now knew that you had never desired another man this much. Every fiber of your body was longing for him so badly that despite him being right here, it ached so much not to have him even closer. And that wasn’t even physically possible.

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asked suddenly, having noticed your conflicted expression and coming to a halt.

You shook your head. No, nothing was wrong. Everything was perfect, it was almost unbelievable.

“I-... I…” You were so overwhelmed by your feelings, the words nearly slipped carelessly out of your mouth. Luckily, for you though, you were able to swallow all of them. Instead, you said, “I’m just so happy.”

The corners of Jaehyun’s lips tilted up, and he took this moment of sweetness to tenderly peck your lips and confess, “Me too. I’m happy too.”

Soft moans fell from your lips as he started moving inside of you again. His motions were deliberate and powerful, and you enjoyed every single thrust of his. Jaehyun was so excited, but put you first still, and you appreciated that.

There were times, his thrusts seemed insatiable as he rammed into you nearly in a trance, seeking for his release, but despite you enjoying these rough phases very much as well, he always calmed down and feeded you with slow, sensual pushes that put you on the verge of being delighted and desperately wanting more.

His lips were wet and warm against your lips when his hips got a rest on top of yours, and you were quick to hook your ankles around his waist when he picked up his pace for the nth time, but this time being the last that would finally bring the long awaited release, you both knew at that moment.

Jaehyun’s chest glistened with a paper thin layer of sweat, and your eyes wandered along his neck to his face where you watched him in awe changing his features to a more tensed one, working towards your orgasms. Your fingers slithered up his arms that were propped up to the left and right of yours, and you held tightly onto him, breaking your eye contact to not let his hard work go to waste and concentrate on yourself.

You bit into his arm as you came, and he let out a groan, whether it was because of your bite or because of him reaching his own heights as he released into the sheets next to you, you didn’t know. But at that moment, as you slipped out of this world for a few seconds, you wished that you could have this for the rest of your life.

Especially for - no, because of - what followed after.

Your grumpy and always stoic husband rolled onto the space next to you to take a rest, a smile spreading across his face that just wouldn’t vanish anymore as he turned his head aside and looked at you. And you genuinely felt the same.

Instinctively, you moved over to him, and he stretched out his arms to pull you onto his chest where you laid yourself down. You didn’t say anything for a long time until you felt him pressing his lips on your forehead.

Now, you truly felt like you had arrived at home.

There, it was so warm, and so comfortable that you wanted to stay forever.

____

Rosie’s birthday barbecue took place the next day where the festival had been held weeks prior. If anything, you knew by now that her father, the pharmacist and major apparently, technically built this village. Aside from the pharmacy, he owned several other stores here.

Unfortunately, you had come all by yourself.

Jaehyun had left early in the morning already, rudely awakened by a call from his supervisor, so you weren’t able to fully concentrate on celebrating Rosie’s big day right now as you wished, but for reasons that couldn’t wipe that grin from your face.

Your thoughts revolved around Jaehyun as well as around what had happened the night before - several times in different positions as though he had feared he was running out of time to do all this to you.

This morning, you had woken up with your limbs entangled and strands of your hair in his face, but he hadn’t complained. Instead, after getting the call, he had pulled you closer to him, lying in bed with you a few minutes more and even kissing you goodbye when he had walked out of the door.

You flushed when you recalled the memories.

“My, my! What’s that?” Rosie called you out as she took the seat next to you. “What’re you blushing for? Long night with your husband?”

“Rosie!” you called out indignantly, totally shocked, but she only laughed.

“Come on, nobody heard! Lucky you!”

You shook your head and shifted a small box in your friend’s direction. “Open it.”

“What are you doing?” Rosie feigned upset. “I told you to not get me anything!”

“Well, the gift shopping area in this village is very limited, but I didn’t want to come empty-handed.”

You could tell Rosie was very excited as her fingers fiddled with the ribbon that held the gift wrap together. As she untied it, a small, flat box was revealed.

“It’s not much, but where I come from, these are very trendy now, and I’m more of a personal gift giver than buying something random. My husband had to order them from the internet, but the rest was made by me. I hope you like it.”

Rosie stilled her motions. “Did you just say ‘my husband’?”

Did you? You gasped nearly inaudibly. You had never referred to him like this before, and truth to be told, you hadn’t even intended to do so now. It had just slipped somehow.

Your friend giggled. “Your husband always refers to you as ‘my wife’, and I found it odd that you hadn’t until now. Perhaps, it took you longer to get used to it, right?”

“...Right.” You kneaded your fingers in uncertainty.

“Are you kidding?!” Rosie then squealed as she opened her gift fully and pulled out a pearl bracelet. “It’s so cute!”

It was made of freshwater pearls in different colors that you had beaded yourself with all the colors Rosie liked the best. You had never seen her wearing jewelry, so she apparently didn’t want to bother taking them on and off.

“It’s an elastic band, so you don’t have to close and open it every morning. You can wear it all the time or take it off and put it on easily.”

Rosie pulled it over her hand and held her wrist against the sunlight. “Such pretty colors! Thank you so much! I will cherish this all my life! It’s a token of our friendship!”

She cuddled you a little bit too tight for your liking, but you didn’t mind. You hadn’t seen such an openly pure reaction to your gifts ever when you had given presents to your friends or family all along. And they had been more expensive and impressive than what you had given to Rosie.

Here, life was much easier. People seemed to be content and satisfied with the little things life had to offer, that was why they had chosen to stay in the countryside. You admired this mindset as people in the big city always thrived to achieve more and to be better than everyone else.

You wanted to be more like Rosie and the villagers.

“Okay, let’s eat now! The meat is ready!”

You really wanted to enjoy the barbecue, and more often than not, you earnestly did. But watching Mr. and Mrs. Jones' banter-like but loving interactions, along with many other married and dating couples, made you long for something which you had never expected to be missing.

“What is it, dear?” Grandmother Anh then asked you as most of the people were slowly finishing their meals and moved on to play with the children or to talk with each other. “You look so somber.”

You, among only a handful of other guests who were still eating, had remained in their seats. Next to you, there was an extra plate with food that hadn’t been touched yet.

“Grandmother Anh…” You turned to her, your eyes expressing exactly what was going on inside of you. “Is it possible to miss someone so much, your heart hurts even though you had only been together in the morning?”

Because that was how you were feeling now. You wanted to be around Jaehyun all day, all night, not missing out on his presence even a single moment. Where you had loathed his existence before, it was all you could think about now and how you’d probably die of a heartache if he was ever gone.

You had never experienced something close to this.

“Oh dear…” Grandmother Anh squeezed your arm and smiled compassionately. “I miss my husband starting from the moment I open my eyes in the morning. And I even felt like that when he was still with me. We weren’t separated for a single day, and I know that even now, he’s with me.”

Because they loved each other wholeheartedly. You couldn’t say the same about what Jaehyun felt for you.

“But why are you so upset right now, dear?” she asked you. “He’s here now.”

“... what?”

You looked up and spotted Jaehyun walking down the street in your direction. You suppressed the urge to blink a few times in case this wasn’t real. But grandmother Anh had just said so, and he would be standing right in front of you not too long from now.

Suddenly, you were all nervous and excited like a child on the first day of school. Jumping out of your chair, hitting the table’s edge in the process and flushing to your cheeks, you didn’t quite know what to do at first. You wanted to run towards him and jump into the safety of his arms like this morning, but were too shy to do so.

What if he rejected you?

What if last night and this morning were an exception?

What if he had returned to being the reserved and taciturn Jaehyun from the beginning?

These were thoughts that were running through your head when you were standing there awkwardly to welcome him.

“I…” you then started when he stopped right in front of you, his mien not quite expressive enough for you to read. “I saved you some meat and potato salad.”

You didn’t know what you were saying, you were only trying to downplay this awkwardness that had weighed down the lighthearted atmosphere of the party as Jaehyun also clearly didn’t know how to behave after your intimate encounters.

“Are there n-”

But your words got stuck in your throat as Jaehyun stretched out his arms and cupped your glowing cheeks with his palms. It was almost magical how instantly, you were able to calm down. Then, he pulled you towards him, covering your lips with his as though he had been waiting all day only to do that.

As he kissed you there, in front of everyone, chastely, but also deeply, you knew that this wasn’t an act. This was not staged for the villagers to believe that you were a truly married couple.

This was honest. His feelings were real.

“God, I’ve wanted to do that all day,” he admitted, tucking a strand of your hair that had gotten loose behind your hair. “I thought time would never pass.”

And you were on the same page.

You were still on the same page when the front door of your house closed behind you later that evening and Jaehyun shoved you against the door, devouring all of you with an open mouth and his tongue, his fingers locked with yours in a tight grip, pinned against the wall above your head.

You were still on the same page when he bent you over the kitchen counter, not even showing the slightest patience by undressing you clothing for clothing as he just dragged your pants down and pushed into you from behind with a long-suppressed groan that made you scream in excitement.

You were still on the same page when you laid your palms flat on the surface in the illusion of getting support, moving along his length to meet his thrusts whenever he pulled out to just slam back into you full-force, because you couldn’t take being apart from him for even a second.

You were still on the same page when you were shaking from past-orgasm spasm, his cum dripping down your hips as he had released on your back, and he carried you on his hands to the bedroom with the words,

“I’m not done yet.”

It was raw.

And it was real.

____

For the fifth morning in a row, you woke up next to Jaehyun. And every time, it still felt so surreal to you that you wanted to give yourself a pinch to make sure this was real. But whenever you turned to his side, his arms tightly wrapped around you, and looked into his eyes that were so sincere and clear, you didn’t mind if this was a dream after all if only you wouldn’t wake up from it.

But today, his expression was clouded, and you could tell something was bothering him gravely that he couldn’t let go of.

“What is it?” you asked him, barely awake yet, but irritated that he wasn’t cuddling with you as usual. “Did something happen?”

It was odd. The fact that you could live with a person for so long and still know nothing about them. That was what Jaehyun told you the next moment.

“What do you mean?”

“That you don’t know my biggest secret yet. And that it might make you hate me.”

You feared that your whole world would teeter under your feet the further he spoke about what he had to confess to you. At this point, you loved him so much, you didn’t know what could possibly make you hate him. After all, he was a detective, and one of the good ones.

The last thing he would have done was kill an innocent person.

… right?

Jaehyun’s struggles were almost palpable for you as he inhaled and exhaled deeply, the muscles on his chest straining and never seeming to relax anymore as he withdrew into a deep hole of silence.

Minutes passed without him crawling out of it, and you sat up yourself, leaning against the headboard while Jaehyun was leaning forward, not facing each other. You wanted to hug him from the back to give him comfort, but also sensed that this would only restrain him from crossing over the final line he was so close to reaching.

And he really wanted to pass it.

“I could never hate you,” you told him. “I l-...” You gulped. “You’re a good person. What would ever make me hate you?”

“Not even knowing that I ruined someone’s life?”

There it was. The elephant in the room that rendered you totally motionless and emotionless. Ruining someone’s life was a wide term and could come in many shapes and forms, each that had a different impact on the victim, and the culprit.

You desperately wanted to know Jaehyun’s dimension, and you knew he desperately, finally wanted to tell you.

“Explain to me. Has it got something to do with the scar on your chest?”

“Yes. As a detective, my job is to protect the victims. But I failed to do so once when I purposely hurt them.”

“How so?”

Jaehyun bent further forward, and you perceived how he lifted his hands to ruffle his hair in aggravation before he continued, “Last week, at Rosie’s birthday party when I got called to my supervisor, I told you it was about my case.”

You nodded. You hadn’t pushed the topic, because if Jaehyun had wanted to talk, he would have come forward. And now, it was apparently the time.

“This case has brought me here to this witness protection program. I’m clearing my name and serving my sentence, because I hurt a victim. The trial is long finished since the victim decided not to press charges, but hurting a hostage is not seen as a peccadillo among the police nonetheless. After I got suspended for a few months, I got sent here to prove myself again while working in another unit and eventually return to the NYPD.”

You had a hard time processing what Jaehyun tried to get into your head. Inwardly, you were repeating every single syllable until they settled.

“I ruined a life. That hostage, a woman… I shot at her,” he pressed bitterly through gritted teeth. “There, you have it. The reason to hate me.”

Your brow arched. “I don’t quite understand. Why did you shoot at a hostage?”

Being nosy was one of your characteristics, but the best part of it was that you never judged a situation before you got all the details, and you hadn’t collected enough details to waive Jaehyun’s action as something bad yet.

“The kidnapper was holding her hostage with a gun pointed at her head.”

It was difficult for Jaehyun to speak about this situation, you could tell from the way he expressed himself, with hitches and deep breathers in between, but you gave him all the time he needed.

You lifted your hand and touched his back in a reassuring gesture, scared he would shy away, but still wanted to try. Instead of retreating, you felt his muscles relaxing under your palm, and you exhaled in relief, letting him know you were there for emotional support, no matter what was to come.

And what was about to come was really hard to digest.

“Instead of shooting at the kidnapper, I shot at the hostage’s leg. Of course I didn’t want to hurt her on purpose, but at this moment, it was the best thing that I could do. I could see it in his eyes. He really wanted to pull the trigger, that was how ruthless and brutal he was. As soon as I would shoot at him, he would shoot at her. So I had to do the last thing a policeman is supposed to do, and aimed at the hostage instead.”

Your forehead was in creases. You couldn’t grasp the entire situation as it sounded just so absurd to you. As a ballerina in the spotlight, you had never gotten in touch with this dark side of the world.

But Jaehyun was a good person. So good, that he omitted the entire story from you.

“You shot at the hostage, because an injured hostage is useless to the culprit,” it suddenly became clear to you. “You’re not a bad person, Jaehyun. That’s very courageous. And honorable as you did everything to save the hostage.”

His shoulders shook, and you were irritated whether he was laughing or crying. Until you noticed that his shaking was actually trembling, and that he was uttering indistinct sounds. Only moments later, you realized that he was, indeed, silently crying.

You just weren’t sure whether these were tears of guilt or tears of relief for finally coming clear with you.

“The scar… it’s from a bullet, right? Did he shoot directly at you after that? Is that how you got it?”

“Even if, at the moment I pulled the trigger, he let go of the culprit and shot at me, I didn’t save her life.”

You felt a tight knot in your stomach. “Jaehyun… that woman… is she still alive?”

It didn’t sound like she didn’t survive the entire incident, but you wanted to hear it from him. Almost instinctively, he nodded with much hesitation, and relief washed over you.

“But at what cost?” he broke through your thoughts. “That woman… one of her legs was rendered useless. I hit der at such an unfortunate spot-”

“But she still has her life,” you interfered. “And you risked your own life for her. You were ready to die for a victim. But she’s still alive, and you as well. That’s all that matters.”

“All that matters? Here’s the thing you’ll hate me for…” He sucked in a rush of air. “She was a professional ballerina. Just like you.”

You didn’t know what to say. Perhaps, it was best to not say anything at all now.

For a ballerina to lose the ability to use even one of her legs was the most unfortunate thing that could happen. All your life, you were trained to rely on your legs. They were your pillars that carried your passion, your career. You were dependent on your legs. You hadn’t learned how to use anything else to get through life.

You leaned forward and replaced the palm of your hand on his back with both of your arms. Gentle, you snuggled up against him and held him in your arms, resting your head in the crook of his neck and closing your eyes, listening to his silent cries.

“Jaehyun. Still. You didn’t ruin a life.”

Everything happening in the past weeks suddenly made so much sense to you. Why Jaehyun had been behaving so hostile upon seeing you for the first time, why he hadn’t wanted you to think so lowly about your safety, why he had wanted you to pick up your passion again, why he had bought you the MP3 player…

“You saved hers.”

Reluctantly, he placed his arms over yours. You really felt his insecurity, but your support was unwavering, and you let him know.

“And you saved yours as well. No lives were lost. You’re a good detective.”

At that moment, you assumed that you were the first person he actually opened up to. And the first person who actually truly understood his deepest feelings.

“Thank you.”

Jaehyun turned to you and kissed you. It tasted of tears and despair.

And a bit of wishful thinking.

____

“I’m still in therapy because of it,” Jaehyun spoke the day after when he was ready to pick up the topic again. “Well, when I’m in New York, I mean.”

It was constantly warm outside nowadays, you two sitting on the slope of the hill behind your house, and you couldn’t wait to finally embrace summer fully in this part of the world where you had never experienced this season before.

Your hair was glowing in the bright sunlight. Jaehyun liked to compare it to a pink rose when you woke up in the mornings and he ran his fingers through the strands.

“That’s good,” you coaxed him, showing full support ever since his confession. “I think it’s always good to speak with a professional about traumatic experiences. They will never go away at some point, but we all have to learn to live with them.”

You stood by your opinion that Jaehyun had had no other choice and actually had made the right decision in this situation. You respected him for that, and you had learned that the hostage, who had attended the trial of course, thought so as well as she had voiced during the process.

It was only the inner demons Jaehyun was fighting now, and you would help him get every single one of them caged.

“It’s odd.”

“What is?”

You stretched yourself, enjoying the warmth. “The fact that I know about your most traumatic experience, but not even where you were born.”

“I was born in Seoul, as a matter of fact,” he clarified instantly.

“The city where I live?” you called out in surprise.

Jaehyun nodded. “I lived there with my mom until I graduated from high school. Then I went to New York because my dad has been working there, and pursued a career as a policeman.”

You pulled grass between your fingers, the mild breeze playing with the tips of your hair strands. “Why did you want to join the police?”

“I’m good at solving cases. And I really want to help people, but didn’t have the patience to go to med school.” Jaehyun looked up, smiling softly against the wind. “Why did you take up ballet classes?”

Yeah… why? You shrugged. “It was something I was passionate about ever since I was a little child.” Your reasoning was not as extensive and detailed as his, but for you, it had always been enough.

And for Jaehyun as well. He turned his head against the sky and basked in the sun. “That’s great. Anything else you want to know?”

“Fair enough, since you knew every fact about me before I even set foot in this country. Do you have siblings?” you jumped at the chance.

“No.”

“Favorite food?”

“Nothing specific. I like anything.”

“A country you’d like to visit one day?”

“Japan.”

“A country you have visited and is your favorite?”

He smiles. “I’ve only been to South Korea and here, so… Here.”

“Can you imagine going back there though?” you then asked. “To Seoul, I mean.”

“Absolutely not.”

You didn’t know why his answer hurt you. Disappointment seeped deep into your heart at the realization that your real home and his real home were separated by an entire ocean if you were ever to go back.

“Do you miss your home?” Jaehyun then returned.

Did you still?

You weren’t so sure about that anymore. You missed your family and your friends, as a matter of fact, and not a day passed in which you didn’t think about them. But not as much and as hurtful as in the beginning where tears had kept you up all night. Your sadness had stepped back, making space for a feeling that was much greater.

But you didn’t want to tell him that.

“Yeah, I do.”

Jaehyun shifted his head back to you. “I can imagine that.”

He kissed you then, right at your favorite spot in the entire village, his fingers entangled in your rosy hair. You felt so happy, yet so regretful as you hadn’t had any memory of a moment where you had been at such a high in your life back there in Seoul.

There, you had everything. The spotlight, your family and your friends. But despite everything, right here and now was where your heart was going to burst because you didn’t know how much bliss it could still grasp.

There were so many more questions you wanted to still ask him.

How his life back there in New York was. How he imagined life when this was all over. Whether he had someone he held dear back home.

But you swallowed all of them down. You were scared of the answers.

You didn’t need to know every little detail about a person’s life to fall in love with them. All it took was to know how they treated others, how they treated you and their outlook on life, nothing more.

Not even their real name.

The rest would fall into place.

Deep down, you had accepted your new life with every aspect it offered itself to you, and whenever you thought about the village and its people, a certain warmth enclosed your heart that nearly made you teary-eyed.

You didn’t want to leave anymore. That was now clear to you.

____

Call it intuition. Gut feeling. A woman’s instinct.

Whatever it was called that you were experiencing that day, it would be right. Your whole world crashed when Jaehyun walked through the door after work that day.

“You have to leave,” were his first words as soon as he spotted you. “Now.”

“... what?”

With widened eyes, you watched the sweat drops on his forehead slowly rolling along his temples. Had he run all the way here? And why did he seem so anxious as though he was trying to uphold a friend? You had never seen him like this.

“Go pack your things. You have five minutes.”

“Jaehyun…” You stood up from the couch. “I don’t understand, only last wee-”

“It’s all settled,” he interjected calmly but curtly. “The day I got called to my supervisor, you remember? They told me I was free to return to the NYPD. My job here is done as they finally found someone else for you. I can go back home, to my old life.”

“That means…?” You halted. You wanted to cover your ears. You didn’t want to hear.

But Jaehyun broke the hard truth down for you. “You’ll be moved to another city, get assigned another fake husband, exactly. The driver will be here in a few.”

You were flabbergasted at how factual his way of delivering the news to you was. “You only stayed with me to deal with your bad conscience, right? Because I’m a ballerina as well, and for protecting me, you would pay your debt? Now that the time is over, you want to get rid of me?”

Of course you hoped he would deny everything you had just accused him of. But he didn’t. This was like a nightmare.

“This program works like that,” Jaehyun explained to you like you were some twelve year old, with much repulsion written all over his face. “You move from one city to another, from one husband to another. You brought this upon yourself.”

Here was the deal with anger. You didn’t feel how it got implanted into you. You couldn’t feel it grow and feed on your pain. Suddenly, it was there, and you didn’t have any control over it until, from one moment to another, it made itself aware verbally and physically.

You wanted to scream, grab for the nearest vase nearby and throw it against the wall, yelling at him how much of an asshole he could be, leading you on this entire time. But sometimes, people were stronger than anger.

And so were you.

He had never led you on. You had always been aware of the rules. He didn’t owe you anything.

“Is that all?” you only brought out dryly, the vowels stuck in your throat.

You didn’t want to cry, you didn’t owe him a single tear in return, not a single word anymore, because you had known all along that this was about to come eventually.

This… all this wasn’t real. This wasn’t your life. And the next one wouldn’t be your real life either.

You didn’t know what your next fake home and fake husband would be like. You didn’t know for how long they’d stay this time. All you knew was that you didn’t want them. You didn’t want anyone else other than Jaehyun.

“That’s all.”

But he didn’t want you anymore.

You just wondered how he could stand there, as stoic and taciturn and as cold as when you had first met.

What had happened to the Jaehyun that woke up next to you every morning, playing with your hair, snuggling up against you and kissing the nape of your neck? The Jaehyun that showed you a different side every night, making you feel so special and loved? The Jaehyun that had let you into his deepest secrets?

Perhaps, he was just so good at his job. No wonder they wanted him back in the NYPD.

Your fingers grabbed just whatever piece of clothing they could find, regardless of whether you had picked up everything that belonged to you or not.

When you rolled your suitcase to the door a few minutes later, you had digested the first waves of shock and were only barely able to hold back your tears. You had expected that the end would come in little steps, with signs that would indicate the last days were approaching, giving you time to adjust, prepare and linger around.

Now, it was like ripping off a band aid.

As you turned away from him, who had not moved since, tears were burning behind your eyes, but you didn’t want to lose your dignity in front of him. You wanted to defy him again, show him that you were just as strong as him and that it all didn’t bother you. That you had only played the role of a wife so perfectly, you had not only fooled the ones around you, but him as well - just as he had done with you.

But in contrast to Jaehyun, for you, it had meant everything to the point you had wished that this was your real life.

This, you couldn’t lie to yourself about. And it was the thing that hurt the most.

When the car pulled up the next moment, you expected Jaehyun to still say something to you, but he just stood there, with an expressionless face, watching you getting into the vehicle. Your eye contact didn’t break, even though you wished so. You just couldn’t tear your gaze away from him as you still hoped that he would raise his voice and beg you to stay.

And you would have.

But he didn’t.

When the car reverted, he just stood there. When you drove along the main street, he just stood there. Even when you were almost out of his sight, he just stood there.

“You’re going to Phoenix this time, Miss!” the driver, the same as from your first day, told you, looking through the rear mirror. “I’m sure you’ll like it there!”

No, you wouldn’t.

This was the most miserable day of your life, and still in the car, you broke down in tears.

You would have given everything to sit down with Rosie, grandmother Anh and Mrs. Jones just once again, playing cards and drinking wine. You would have given everything to go shopping with Rosie and hear her lighthearted laughter again. You would have given everything to eat grandmother Anh’s dumplings and get her advice again.

You would have given everything to just spend another day in the village, appreciating what you had had and saying goodbye to everyone.

But even this, he had pried out of your hands, rendering you so defenseless and vulnerable.

You hated him.

And whenever your gaze fell upon the key chain of the yellow elephant wearing a red tie on your purse, you cried even harder, wanting to rip it off and throw it out of the window.

But no matter how much you wanted to hate him and talk yourself into it, you couldn’t bring yourself to truly feel so.

You didn’t care about your old life anymore. You didn’t care whether you could never go back. You didn’t care about your career, about your future.

You were willing to give all of this up forever just to spend another day in the life that had been such an illusion, but had made you the happiest so far.

“Uhm… Miss…”

____

Klick.

The sound of the safety catch of a gun getting released.

“You’re late,” Jaehyun announced into the semi-darkness as he took the weapon back into his hand. “She’s not here anymore. She just left.”

“I know,” a voice he had never heard before, answered back. “I actually came for you.”

“Oh. Be my guest then.” Jaehyun chuckled with sarcasm. “I wasn’t sure when exactly you’d arrive since my people couldn’t find the flight you boarded, but this is what I call perfect timing as I just left the door open. So, how did you find us exactly?”

He shrugged. “You know… it cost me a fortune and a few private detectives, but I was always watching her, even during detention. I always knew where she was. That I’m only coming now is because I thought that eventually, when she sees that I’m free and behaving, she’d come back.” His voice cracked. “But she didn’t.”

Jaehyun remembered the night you had claimed to have heard someone roaming around in the bedroom or garden. So there had been truly someone among you, a private detective most likely. He hated himself at that moment for not having been able to protect you better.

“You know what happened to the former guy she dated?”

The stalker stepped into the light that flooded into the room from the window, and as Jaehyun looked into his face, he encountered a man who he, and probably every other person, would deem harmless at first glance. He looked like a normal office worker, not intimidating or even dangerous at all with his slicked back hair and wide glasses.

“They packed their things and went away as soon as they met me,” he illustrated, almost boastful with much pride in his voice. “One of them didn’t want to back off, so I had to slash his tires. That was when he got the message.”

“Lucky you that I’m not one of these guys. I’m not scared of you.” Jaehyun grinned. “I’m her husband, and I’m going to protect her at all costs.”

“She doesn’t belong to you!” he then yelled, throwing around his arms. “She belongs to me! … But… she’s always running away from me… She never comes back to me. Why would someone do that when you’re destined to be together?”

Despite the semi-darkness, Jaehyun saw the insanity coming forward in his eyes that gradually slowly took power of his entire body. He wasn’t familiar with stalking cases personally himself, but had read quite a few things prior to your arrival.

Clearly, this guy followed the delusional disbelief of your both’s romantic destiny despite you having made it clear several times that no such thing existed at your side. Yet, his obsession with you had made him want to continue being a part of your life and change your mind at all costs until it turned unhealthy and dangerous for you, watching you and following each of your steps. Admiration had quickly turned into the sadistic urge to torment you, because if he couldn’t have you, nobody could.

And now, you didn’t even deserve to live if it wasn’t with him.

“I’m not going to run away like the other guys,” Jaehyun spoke calmly. “I’m here to set an end to this, because she deserves to live freely and happily. And I want to give this to her.”

“No!” he screamed, sweat dripping down his temples, and only now, Jaehyun saw the blade glistening against the dim light. “She can only be happy with me! With me only, not with someone else or even alone!”

Jaehyun lifted up his arms and aimed the gun at him. He flinched. “She’s happy with me. How does that sound, asshole?”

Suddenly, he laughed. “If you shoot at me, you’re going to jail, and you’re not going to have her either.”

“I don’t care,” Jaehyun spoke calmly and the guy raised his brows. “I don’t care if I might go to jail because of this, because no one else before cared enough. I don’t care if I have to give my life for hers, because my life is not worth living if she’s dead. I don’t care if I have her or not. I just want her to be far away from you and live her life to the fullest, because she deserves it. Because this is what love is.”

“Oh, you fool.” He laughed again, this time like a maniac. “She has you in her force. That’s what she usually does.”

“Maybe.” Jaehyun’s finger enclosed the trigger. “But that’s what love also is. Forceful.”

The stalker raised his hand, the huge knife between his fingers fully visible now as he prepared himself to dash forward, but the second he moved, your voice echoed through the house.

“Stop!”

You stepped into the living room, totally out of breath, but lucky to have convinced the driver to turn around before it was too late after he had empathized very much with you during your breakdown in the car and told you the entire truth.

“It’s okay,” you breathed, having reached the premises only seconds ago. “I see it clearly now. I can’t be with you, Jaehyun. I can’t run away from my feelings either.” You smiled mildly and stepped closer to the stalker. “I see where I belong to.”

Jaehyun couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “What-!”

“I know we didn’t have a great start,” you said, your gaze not wavering from the guy who had made your life on earth a living hell, yet you tried to conceal that you were trembling all over and sweating in fear as this was the only way to save Jaehyun. “While you only wanted to protect me, I always tried to defy you. I felt caged, imprisoned and really unhappy. It was only later that I realized that you did all that because you cared. About my safety… about me.”

Jaehyun saw that you were directing these words to your tormentor, but he also saw that they were not lies. They were only directed at the wrong person.

“Yes, yes!” the guy blurted. “That’s totally it!”

“Will you now please put away the knife? I will willingly come with you.” Then, you finally spun around to Jaehyun. “Please put the gun away as well.”

“But-!”

“Please!”

Hesitantly, he did as he had been told, so did the persecutor. He knew where you had come from as the guy wouldn’t have done the same, but still didn’t find the thought to be so weaponless appealing.

After the stalker had placed the knife on the kitchen counter, he turned around to you with a bright smile on his face, but it got wiped out very quickly - with your knuckles rolling nearly in slow motion over his cheek and continuing along the bridge of his nose. He lost balance and was thrown against a chair, folding like a piece of paper as he collapsed against the furniture.

Your fist had met his face full-force, and you stilled the seconds after, having totally caught him off guard - and yourself as well.

“The knife!” Jaehyun then screamed, reaching for his gun once again.

But as your fingers moved to reach for the weapon, your hand got slapped away and the blade vanished in front of your eyes and back into the possession of the stalker. Only this time, the knife was not the only thing he claimed to have taken control over.

The sharp blade slightly buried itself into the side of your neck as he had rendered you motionless by having you in a choke with his other arm wrapped around your middle. All your twisting and turning didn’t benefit you in any way as he was much taller and stronger, and you could only watch all the color drain from Jaehyun’s eyes as he looked back at you in horror.

“What wishful thinking, I’m such a fool,” the stalker whispered into your ear, blood streaming down your side, and the pain slowly overshadowed the shock you had initially felt. “If you can’t have someone yourself, all you can do is kill the person.”

You heard it click as Jaehyun was now pointing his gun at you. “Not before I kill you first.”

And then, there was pain.

____

When you were in the hospital, you dreamed of Jaehyun.

He was holding your hand at night, not leaving your side. It was tender and warm, just like the first time he had held your hand when you had joined the dinner with the other villagers. You could even hear what he was saying to you. Many words you had been longing to hear for so long.

Too bad that these were only fever dreams.

Because instead, when you woke up three days later, there was Rosie.

… Rosie!?

But you weren’t able to bring these words out as your throat was dry, so the syllables only came out as rasping sounds. She was quick to serve you a glass of water before you were finally able to ask,

“...Rosie? What happened?”

“Jesus!” she let out in wonder. “You can’t remember a thing?”

You shook your head. “Do you?” And then cocked your brow. “... what do you know exactly?”

“Jay told me everything. About you. About the program.” Your eyes widened and you prepared yourself to sit up, but Rosie gently pushed you back against the pillow. Only then you noticed that you couldn’t have made it further anyway. Your entire middle hurt. “It’s okay, lay still. Nobody can harm you anymore. He’s dead.”

“... dead?” You barely believed your own ears.

Rosie nodded. “Jay’s bullet hit you, but it was only a graze, barely visible, but enough to take the stalker by surprise so that he suddenly let go of you. But… he was on top of you the next moment… with the knife.” She struggled to find the right words. “When I arrived after the reinforcement you called before… there was so much blood, and Jay was holding you in his arms… he was screaming… wailing. He thought he’d lost you, and so did I.”

You got stabbed?!

That would explain the immense pain that turned more distinct with each bypassing second, and you were so close to calling a nurse to pump some more morphine into you.

“W… what happened to… him?” you asked, though a part of you already knew the answer.

“Jay shot at him. He died on the spot.”

You didn’t blame yourself for feeling so much relief at this moment. For the past year, this man had robbed you of all your happiness and freedom. Now, it was all over. You were safe and free. You had every right to be happy.

But you weren’t.

“Where is…” Suddenly, you stilled as a dangerous thought crossed our mind. “Is he-”

“He’s fine.” The corner of Rosie’s lips tilted up. “Even now, you’re only thinking about him. He’s outside. Should I call him in?”

“Yes, please. And Rosie?” You reached for her hand, squeezing it. “Thank you for coming. It means a lot.”

She squeezed your fingers back. “Even though this life of yours wasn’t real… I know our friendship is.”

She was so right.

When Rosie left, Jaehyun didn’t come in right away. You waited for at least five more minutes until the handle moved downwards and the face you had been longing to see all along finally appeared in your room.

“How are you doing?” he asked, and it made you shudder how distant he sounded as opposed to the look in his eyes.

They were telling a whole other story, and you wondered what was holding him back from running over to you and finally taking you into his arms.

“Fine.”

The pain in your stomach really did feel fine when the pain in your heart was a much graver one.

“Don’t lie to me. You got stabbed right through. It’s not like it’s nothing.” He lowered his head. “And it’s my fault. Again.”

You saw where he was coming from after everything that he had been through. Your mind was still working only slowly as it hadn’t been able to make the connection right away, but now, it was all clear.

“It’s thanks to you that I’m still alive. I’m very grateful.”

Eventually, the pain in your stomach would pass, leaving only a scar. You couldn’t imagine what the stalker would have done to you if Jaehyun wouldn’t have been there. You counted yourself very lucky to still be alive.

“Thank you, honestly.”

He acknowledged your feelings with a nod, though you weren’t entirely convinced that he thought the same about you. And as he didn’t move away from the door further in your direction, you finally grasped that he just wasn’t there by your side yet. Not only physically, but also emotionally.

At some point, everything happening in the past months had been real for him too. But now that he could have it all, he was getting cold feet. You didn’t know why, but you knew that it wasn’t your fault, and it certainly wasn’t in your power to lay out all the reasons as to why he shouldn’t feel this way.

He just wasn’t ready.

“You’re going back to the NYPD, right?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow already, as a matter of fact. I have things to take care of.” He scratched his head in nervousness. “You’ll be okay?”

Oddly, you could affirm his assumption.

You’d return to Seoul and to the Korea National Ballet. If you’d had a talk with the academy, you were positive that you could also still join the Dutch National Ballet as originally planned. You had your old life back, and it would all fall into place.

Your future, everything you had worked so hard for, laid in front of you again.

And without Jaehyun.

Again.

“I’ll be okay.” Despite these insights, you smiled through your pain. “Really.”

“Okay.” Jaehyun’s smile was equally painful.

Perhaps, he had wished for another outcome as well. But whatever was holding him back was more powerful than everything he’d ever felt for you, and you wished that you could share his pain again, telling him that he didn’t need to go through this all alone.

But you knew, this time, he wouldn’t let you.

Rosie was there for you after he had long left, comforting you throughout the entire night. She was also there when you got discharged two weeks later, bidding you farewell at the airport and showering you with so much love a friend could possibly feel for another.

“We’re going to meet again,” you promised her.

“I’ll come visit you,” she promised you too.

And with that, you returned to your old life.

____

The curtain call was your favorite part of each performance. Then, all the burden and pressure fell from your shoulders and you could finally breathe again, showering in the spotlight and relishing the applause.

Today was the first time that you stood on the stage of the Korea National Ballet again after the events in the States and thus, your first curtain call after such a long time.

Your hair had returned to its natural color, and despite the fact that you hadn’t changed at all from the outside, you knew that on the inside, you were an entirely different person. Nothing would be like before ever again.

“Good performance,” your instructor remarked and moved on to tell the same to the others as well.

You hadn’t danced an important position, only moving in the background as your instructor had been sure that you had let things slide in the months you were away. Before, you would have gotten angry, practicing day and night to lose the remaining weight and catch up with the others. Yes, you surely had let things slide, but to you, nothing of this was important anymore.

The Dutch National Ballet hadn’t wanted you back, and you couldn’t hold it against them. You were glad to have been able to pick up some kind of engagement again. Until you were back at the top, a lot of time would pass.

You just weren’t so sure anymore if you wanted to climb up that high again.

You took off your tight shoes in the dressing room and rubbed your wounded feet, your thoughts drifting off. You had seen him again. In the audience, sitting in the first row and watching you. Usually, you didn’t let your eyes wander through the people, but this time, your role had given you enough time to do so.

Not your stalker, but Jaehyun.

He had sat there, in a black tuxedo, and had watched you with the same gaze that he would share only with you during your time together.

You knew immediately that this wasn’t real. He wasn’t here. He couldn’t be here.

Because lately, you saw and felt him very often. Next to you on the bed when you were waking up, walking close to you as you strolled through the streets, and in the mirror whenever you lifted your head after washing your face.

This was what it was like when you couldn’t let go of a person you had once loved so much.

“There is someone waiting for you in the lobby,” another dancer told you in passing.

“Who is it?”

“Said his name was Yuno.” She shrugged. “Wears a black tuxedo and waits by the stairs.”

“Okay.”

You didn’t know a person named Yuno, so you didn’t hurry changing your clothes and took your sweet time, until a sudden thought crossed your mind. This was how it had started out with your stalker as well!

But it couldn’t be. He wasn’t alive anymore, and here, nobody would give you the same attention as you were only a background dancer. You sucked in a rush of air, halted, and then continued your way.

You’d be fine.

Just as you had promised Jaehyun.

“Mister…” you called out when you came around the corner. You didn’t know his surname, so you faltered, only able to watch him from behind as he stood with his back to you.

“Jeong. Mister Jeong.”

“... Mister...”

Your voice was stable, in contrast to your inner feelings as a storm broke free deep within you. You hadn’t seen him in so long, and you wanted to cry, scream and slap him all at once.

“I saw your performance.” He smiled. “You’re marvelous. I wanted to bring you a bouquet of flowers, but thought it would be a bit too tactless…”

“You’re late,” you interrupted him.

“I know,” he agreed. “There were a few things I had to take care of.”

“Things that took you three months?” You folded your arms across your chest. “I thought… I thought you moved on.”

“Is that what you think of me?” He looked hurt. “Have you moved on?”

Not a single bit. Every night, you lived through every moment you had spent together in the States. As much as you had wanted to, you hadn’t been able to move on.

Almost unnoticeably, you shook your head.

“You want to know what I did during this time?” He stepped closer to you as the lobby was emptying, and you didn’t retreat. “I visited the ballerina. She’s doing well. She’s a counselor now, helping people who are as handicapped as her. She said it’s fulfilling and that she’s very happy, and she thanked me again for saving her life. Hearing it from her personally takes a huge burden off my heart.”

Despite your controversial feelings, you smiled. “That’s good to hear. I’m happy for you.”

“And I finished my therapy sessions,” he continued. “For a long time, I thought I was the person bringing harm to people. I’m a detective, why am I only bringing harm to people I desperately want to protect? It just didn’t get into my head. My therapist said that not everyone is made for this life and I should focus on finding a partner who is as equally courageous and fearless as me. Who shares my views on life, who doesn’t back down and looks danger right into the eye. Only then, when I have a partner who can take care of themselves, I don’t have to fear for two lives, but only for one. For mine, because my partner will be fine by themselves.”

Then, he smiled too as you recalled, “I slapped the hell out of that asshole.”

“Yeah, you did. You also defied all my orders. You always know how to take care of yourself. You don’t run away when it’s getting dangerous. And you didn’t hesitate even for a single second when you found out that I lied that day. You came back right away to help me. If there is a woman suitable for me, then it’s you.”

You chewed on the inner flesh of your mouth to keep the growing smile from showing. You still didn’t know what exactly this all meant, but you were eager to hear it from him soon.

“But I didn’t come here to tell you this only.”

You tilted your head. “What did you come here for then?”

“I came to pick up my wife,” was his answer that nearly made your heart jump out of your chest.

You stared at him, lost for words and mouth agape.

“I’m sorry that it took me so long. I wanted to get everything cleared and settled. I wanted to be emotionally ready for a new path in my life, with you by my side. I… I mean… If you hate New York and want to stay in Seoul instead,” he hemmed and hawed, “I would be happy to cross the ocean again as long as you’ll be waiting for me at the other side. But if you want to come back to the US, I’ll be fine with that as well. In Seoul, New York or Connecticut… I can call any place my home as long as you’re with me. This time, as my real wife.”

You felt tears gathering in the brims of your eyes. “As… as your wife?”

“As my wife.” He nodded. “You want me to repeat that again?”

“Yes, please.” You blinked, your shoulders starting to tremble.

“Perhaps, you rather want to read it,” he dismissed softly and reached into the inner pocket of his tuxedo to pull out a sheet that he carefully unfolded and handed over to you.

You read attentively.

MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE APPLICATION

Jeong Yuno

and

….

There it was. His real name. Your real name.

This was real.

You looked up to him, the tears now streaming down your face, and you desperately tried to dry them with the back of your hand.

“If we get all your papers together, we can apply tomorrow and be officially married by next week.”

You could barely see through the blurry curtain of tears.

“This time, for real?”

you asked as Yuno, as his real name was, took your hands into his, and it felt just like the first time when you had walked along the streets of the little countryside village.

“This time, for real,” he promised.

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