#jungkok bayby

[jkbabiey]

𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 ⤇ 𝙹𝙹𝙺

Words: 2.9K 

Pairing: Jungkook x doctor!reader 

Genre: angst; fluff; established relationship au ; minor character death :((( 

Synopsis: “He would never make you feel any less for having a human side, a weak side. Instead, he would embrace it with everything he had. Always.” 

Song Rec: End of a day - Jonghyun ; Breathe - Lee Hi ; That's Okay - D.O. ; Not Alone - NCT 127 ; Try Again - Jaehyun, d.ear ; Inner Child - V ; Through the night - IU ; Be Your Enemy - Taemin, Wendy

The heavy rain fell like never before. The streets were completely drenched and, unfortunately for your completely timid and, currently, partially stoic nature, completely crammed. Your shift in the hospital had just ended. You were exhausted and, on days like this, you couldn’t find your job as a cardiothoracic surgeon more bitter. You loved your job, after the many hardships you’d had to endure to get to the position you are in today and so much effort you had to put into it, you couldn’t have any doubts about your love towards medicine and surgery. And you didn’t. 

But the truth is that doing what you do every single day - fighting death itself - wasn’t easy. It takes a colossal number of rocky roads to fully accept and understand that some lives are just too frail for you to save, and, sometimes death is just too stubborn and strong-willed to let you win.

You hadn’t travelled all those paths yet.

Today, you had lost 2 of your patients. Patients you had been following and helping for the last 2 years of your medical career. They held a soft spot in your heart, and they both had had surgical procedures today, with you as their surgeon, as always. But during their surgeries, there were several amounts of complications and your patients weren’t strong enough to handle all the fights they had yet to battle. Unfortunately.

You were still a 29-year-old girl. You were still a dewy-eyed silly over-emotional and easily-attached little girl. To lose 2 of your favourite patients in one day was still way too much for you. But, among your group of friends, you were the hardcore one and you hadn’t cried. Your weak and human side was the last thing you wanted to show to your colleagues. The competitiveness that ruled the medical industry wouldn’t allow you. You had worked hard to build up the reputation you held today among everyone in the hospital. The hardcore emotionless goddess of surgery.

And even though you were, indeed, a hardcore surgery goddess, you were far from emotionless. You cried watching sad movies and were one of the few doctors that actually spent some time of their day to get to know their patients. You were pretty sure, you were going to cry as soon as you got to your black G-class Mercedes Benz, closed all your windows and called your boyfriend. You were sure you would call him as soon as your ass landed on the driver’s seat, and you were sure you would start to cry as soon as you heard his soft boyish voice. Because, amongst all of the soft spots in your heart, he owned the softest of them all. And to talk to him was exactly what you needed.

So, when you got to your car and hopped into it, you looked for his name on your contact list on your phone, for the slightest seconds, because he was right on top of it, from how often you contacted him.

‘Dickhead <3’

Calling…

Call declined.

And that’s when you remembered the small petty argument you two had had the previous night.

The night before

You were still seating in the dinner table, a pout on your lips while you tried to count how many plates you’d have to wash. Your boyfriend had already abandoned you to play with his friend, Taehyung, leaving you and the uncountable plates you had to handwash because Jungkook had decided to ruin your dishwasher. You had had a long day and you really weren’t seeing any way you could handwash so many plates all by yourself. So you decided your boyfriend would be your best and most viable solution. So you stood up from the kitchen’s table stool and walked towards the living room’s sofa in tiny weary steps.

“Guk, can you please help me do the dishes tonight?” you asked after sitting next to him, using the cutest voice you could remember and the most adorable face expression you thought he would fall for.

“Nope, today’s your day,” he answered shortly, not tearing his eyes from the videogame one single moment.

“Babe, please, I had a long day.”

“Yeah, me too. Go do the dishes.”

“I helped you do the dishes last week and you never returned the favour,” you pouted.

“Are you seriously going to keep bothering me? I have one moment to relax by myself, and you have to come here and ruin it!”

Your eyes widened, not expecting him to snap at you so quickly, and for something so small.

“I had a hard day, and I haven’t had a moment for myself as well. Can’t you just help me this once?”

You knew you were being bratty and childish and, probably, a pain in his ass. You knew he probably had also had a very tiring day, after all, he’s Jeon Jungkook, Korea’s golden boy. But you were just so tired, and at least the presence of your boyfriend in the kitchen as you two did the dishes, would surely, make the task a lot more enjoyable.

“Is it so hard to do the fucking dishes? Are you that dim-witted?”

You knew he didn’t mean to call you dumb. If someone asked him, on any other day, about what made him fall for you, he would probably answer something about how intelligent you were, but this time you got affected by his comment. Probably because, that same day, your superior had said you weren’t good enough to be a surgeon due to you being late to his presentation – “A good surgeon is never late, maybe you should reconsider your options.”, those were his words.

“Fuck you Jungkook,” you finally said, turning your back on him, deciding to do the dishes by yourself.

“No, fuck you!” he shouted, throwing the controller to the couch after pausing his game.

He stood up, following you to the kitchen in quick heavy steps. He was looking for a fight. You weren’t in the mood to argue right now, so as soon as you got to the kitchen, you decided to forcefully close the door on his face.

He didn’t barge in as you expected - he could be quite explosive. When you finished cleaning the kitchen and went to your shared bedroom, he was already in bed, laying down only in his underwear and playing something on his phone. You took your clothes off - needless to say, he didn’t spare you a glance. Even the next morning, when you two woke up at 6 AM to go to work, you two never said a word and he didn’t kiss you goodbye like he always did.

Two could play that game.

But, truth is, you couldn’t play that game. 

You loved him too much. But he had just declined your call and you didn’t know how to deal with that. So you drove home as fast as you could, still not a single tear on your cheeks, and when you finally barged into your shared apartment, you saw Jungkook laying on the couch and watching a movie. He, once again, didn’t spare you a glace, and his face was completely disinterested in your sudden presence.

“Stop being a dick!” you yelled at him, your voice cracking, from how long you had been holding back your tears. His eyes were quickly directed to you, and his eyebrows furrowed when he noticed the shiny look in your eyes, sitting up on the couch, and staying there, unsure of what was happening. Until tears started running freely along your soft blushed cheeks and you took both your hands to wipe them away. That’s when he stood up, and rushed to you, standing in front of you and softly holding your wrists, so he could pull them away from your face.

“What happened?” he asked softly and your sobs only seemed to intensify. He picked you up, holding you tightly in his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist and your face hidden in the crook of his neck. Then he sat with you back in the couch and waited for you to calm down, not saying anything. Just rubbing your back and playing with the roots of your hair.

Then you finally calmed down and decided to pull your face away from his neck, to look him in the eye, for the first time in the whole day.

“What happened baby?” he repeated softly, nudging your still wet nose with his own and you looked down, playing with you fingers.

“My life sucks.”

“Why?”

“My week has been a nightmare so far and now you’re a dick and I really wanted to talk to you just now but you declined my call and I really can’t stand you,” you stated, your voice cracking numerous times, and Jungkook chuckled looking at how helpless you looked and you really wanted to slap him, but then he pecked your lips and grabbed the back of your head, bringing it back to his chest and laying down in the sofa, with you on top of him.

“C’mon, tell what got you all worked up…” he muttered playfully, lovingly looking down at you.

And that’s when tears started pouring out of your eyes once again. At some point, you were already uncontrollably sobbing in his chest, your fists grabbing his shirt and Jungkook’s grip on you tighter than before. The look on his face wasn’t playful anymore, and the furrowed brows and worried eyes were back, his full attention on you.

"I-i had the worst day Jungkook," you let out in a tremulous waver. Jungkook encouraged you to keep going, even though no else but him - that had met you for about 9 years now and knew you better than anyone else ever could - would understand a single word that came out of your mouth. "When I started working as a surgeon there were these 2 charts that were handed to me. An old grumpy man named Charles and a 16-year-old girl, Jessica, the typical teenager who thinks she knows it all. They had pretty severe heart diseases and even though Charles didn't even like me at first and Jessica called me an 'ugly bitch' the first day I met her, I took care of them. They went through a lot and they were so strong. I gave so much of myself to make them stay, you know? I worked so hard to keep them safe," you cried and even though Jungkook already knew what this was about, he prefered to let you let it all out, just humming from time to time. "They've been with me since day 1, they've watched me become a better surgeon and a better person overall. They were closer to me than my own friends” You stopped talking for a few minutes, while Jungkook kissed the crown of your head and your breathing calmed down 

"Jessica  was turning 18 next week. She was a total romantic. I used to talk to her about us." Jungkook smiled. "Most of the times me and you argued, she was the one to tell me what to do. I talked about you to Charles once. He didn’t really like you that much. But I think it was more of a protective instinct than anything else." you paused and Jungkook kissed your forehead, in a way of support. You closed your eyes and sighed. 

"They had surgeries today. I mean, I'm not dumb, I knew by their vitals that they weren't going to last as long as I wanted them to, but I just wasn't prepared," you voice started cracking and wavering once again and the tear stains that had already dried out were once again freshly wet. "Surgery was too much for them, I shouldn't have done it," you cried out. " I am so sorry, this was all my fau-"

"It wasn't... It wasn't your fault. You're a surgeon, it's your job and unfortunately, this is a part that comes with it. It's not your fault. You're an amazing surgeon, they knew it and they trusted you with their lives for 2 years. You never let them down, but no one lasts forever and they were no exception. As you said, they all had severe diseases and even though you're a great surgeon, which was proven with how you kept them here for 2 whole years, you can't always conceive miracles. It was not your fault.”

You two kept quiet after that, you knew he was right. Of course, he was, he was Jungkook. You weren't crying anymore and a great part of that was due to Jungkook's back rubs and constant forehead kisses.

“You know, Jessica never had her first kiss” you whispered. “I used to tell her kissing was disgusting anyways, so she wouldn’t feel left behind by other girls her age” you giggled softly and Jungkook stroked your curly hair, smiling. 

“Charles was pretty rude at first, we disliked each other for about 2 weeks and then he told me I reminded him of his daughter because she was also the feisty type. They didn’t get along very well. Haven’t talked to each other for two whole years and today I had to call her after the surgery and tell her that her amazing dad had just died on the table. What hurts the most is that she was so unbothered, I was probably way more devastated than her. He was almost like a father to me.”

"They sound amazing," he commented after you stopped talking.

"They were amazing," you muttered and smiled, sighing softly a bit after and looking up to your boyfriend, who was still massaging your back, his hand was underneath your shirt, directly placed on your skin. He knew his touch always calmed you down, even in the toughest of situations. He would always be the one to get to soothe your nerves. You had met him 9 years ago, but every single moment with him still felt like the first. He was the only one who got to see this side of you. He knew how it was behind the scenes. Behind the perfect and intelligent facade laid some painful experiences and he had lived every single one of them with you. He had experienced the sleepless nights before an exam. He had woken up in the middle of the night to find you seated on the living room’s couch with a cup of hot chocolate in your hands and tear-stained cheeks, all this coming from the constant doubt you would never be able to get rid of and that still haunted you today. ‘Am I good enough for this?’ And he would always stay up, reassuring you that ‘Yes, you’re good enough’ and he would repeat that as many times as you needed him to. Because he knew you were good enough. God, you were so much more than enough.

Jungkook loved you beyond question. You meant the world to him. And looking down at you, he couldn’t help but think about the topic that hadn’t left his mind for the whole week. And that had been the cause for the snappy temper you had been obligated to deal with these past days. He had been pestering his members with this same topic too, and they were already sick of telling him to ‘go for it’. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

What if it’s too soon? How could it be too soon? He had met you 9 years ago and started dating you 3 years after that. Of course it wasn’t too soon.

What if you didn’t want to be committed to him in that way? Jungkook knew you had quite a problem with commitment, you were terrified of getting committed to something for a lifetime. But... damn... You loved him. He could see it behind your eyes whenever you looked at him. Or in the way you’d lay awake in the middle of the night staring at his face, illuminated by the moon’s shine, and thinking he was asleep. Or in the way you were so comfortable with him, to the point of laying on top of him, eating chocolate cookies, wearing white cotton panties and a t-shirt of his that looked way too large on you, probably because you measured only 5′1′’. You both knew that he was your safe space and you were his. 

You would never break down like this in public, in front of your colleagues or your superiors. You couldn’t. But with him, you knew you could and you would anytime you needed to. Because with him you knew you were safe. There would never be any judging. He would never make you feel any less for having a human side, a weak side. Instead, he would embrace it with everything he had.

Always. 

“Will you marry me?”

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