#jungkook fic
kimnjss · 2 days ago
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exactly as planned
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— you’re barreling into his life when he least expects it, stealing all his attention until the nights spent studying are replaced with rolling around the sheets. he’s hopelessly romantic and you’re in it for the fun, but no one told you it would ruin your life.
⥖ masterlist ⥓
⇝ taglist: @agustdef @yoon2k @jaiuneamesolitaiire @amour-quinn @dee-ehn @gldnrecs @hopeworldjimin @preciouschimine @diminieshoe @silentlyimpractical @btsbangtanbois @agustneeds @redluvletmain @tae165 @joontopia @dionysusrage @hellotherehoneybee @certifiedcrazycatlady @morseszn @yoooonie @peachy-tata @lochness-butmakeitsexy @rikisnotforsale @v3nti @namjoonsillegaldimple @hobiismyhopeu​ @ggukkieland @telepathylftv @kxdrawhl @morndas @prdshobi​ @codeinebelle​ @rageyoudamnednerd​ @jiminshibaby​ @lil-sracha​ @arya-di-angelo​ @todorokiskitten​ @ayyyocee​ @salty-for-suga​ @stepheboo​ @bloomtilweache​ @taefect94​ @jooniesbanoonies​ @bluewhale52​ @stcrwhiz​ @sweeneyblue1​ @onlythehobi​ @minesuga​ @butterflylion​ @veronawrites​
A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!
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sparklingchim · a day ago
long way home 11 | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 2.1k
genre: dilf!jungkook, friends to lovers
rating: pg
warnings: mentions of sexual assault (oc doesn't talk about it that explicitly but still read w caution pls if that subject is triggering for u), mentions of wounds/blood
summary: the one where you're absolutely broken and there's only jungkook that you need.
a/n: posting this without proof reading cos im tired 🧍‍♀️
chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 |
masterlist | long way home masterlist
[ 1 year and 5 months ago ]
Clasping your phone with shaky hands you try to press the contacts button with trembling fingers.
Your throat hurts from trying not to make a single sound while tears stream down your cheeks.
You clutch the thick fabric of the hoodie that you had thrown over your body minutes ago, knuckles turning white as your grip grows stronger.
You barely manage to make out Jungkook's name through your blurry vision. You call him, pressing the phone against you ear.
You hope he will pick up your call. He hasn't been exactly doing that the past 2 weeks. The only sign of life you get every now and then are when Sora updates her Instagram with new posts, every single one including Jungkook.
He's hanging around lots with her recently -  which, is kinda understandable since she is his girlfriend, but he never went that far to ignore you for weeks because he spend all of his time with her.
The sound of your phone that resounds in your ear as you're waiting for Jungkook to pick up almost feels like it's mocking you. You nearly give up and put the phone away when there's suddenly silence. And then you hear him.
"Y/n?" Jungkook slurs, sounding like he has just woken up.
"Jungkook." His name is a whisper. You're still too scared to speak. Too afraid that Minjun might wake up if you're too loud.
Upon hearing the little sniffles and your hesitant voice, he says alarmingly, "What's the matter? Where are you?" You hear his bedsheets rustling in the background.
"I'm home," you croak.
"You...?" Jungkook seems confused.
"I need you," you say. Emitting a quivering breath you repeat, "I need you, Jungkook."
Not even a second goes by when Jungkook answers, "I'll be there in ten, okay? Don't worry, baby. Just stay right where you are."
He hangs up and you kinda wish he hadn't hung up. Hearing his warm voice was comforting. And now you're left alone in the silence of the way too bright bathroom. The cold tiles causes goose bumps to cover your legs.
You pull your legs up and hug them with your arms.
Don't worry, you repeat in your head. Once Jungkook will be here, everything's gonna be alright. You just need to sit here in absolute silence.
You try to steady your shaky breathing and it does help for a little while until you think back of a few hours and everything comes crashing down again.
You're a mess.
And you desperately need to be somewhere else than in your small, suffocating bathroom.
Not even 10 minutes later your phone vibrates.
i'm here 3:28 am
Your heart stops beating for a moment when you read Jungkook's message. He's here.
Your first instinct is to scurry out of the apartment and right into Jungkook's arms, but you remind yourself that you still have to be quiet.
Silently you leave the bathroom and slowly walk to the front door. You grab the keys and slip into your shoes. You make sure to close the door very gently behind you.
You walk down the stairs with cautious steps. You don't feel steady on your feet and the constant tears welling in your eyes makes it hard to see.
When you're finally outside of the apartment complex you find Jungkook leaning against his car. You cross your arms as you walk towards him.
Once Jungkook sees your tear stained face and shivering body, he's even more alarmed than he already was.
"What did he do to you?" Jungkook says, rushing to you. He cups your cheeks, searching for an answer in your eyes while thumbing your tears.
You don't know how, but somehow Jungkook knew that this has to do with Minjun.
You shake your head, bottom lip quivering as you try to keep the cries in.
His brows are knitted and there are so many emotions painted on his face. There's anger, worry, resentment, solicitude.
In contrary to him you're hurt, helpless, broken and in need for so much comfort and safety that it makes you push his arms away to be able to hug him.
He's tense. Probably from all the anger raging inside him. He relaxes when he hugs you back, hands rubbing your back in a soothing manner.
You have your cheek pressed against his chest and though you can't force the tears to stop escaping your eyes, you can feel your open wounds slightly healing with every breath you take from Jungkook's homelike scent.
"It hurts so bad," you sniffle.
He bends down to give your head a little peck. "Let's get you away from here, hm?"
You nod against his body, though you remain curled against Jungkook for a little longer.
At Jungkook's place he helps you changing your clothes. You asked for a hoodie of his. He didn't question why, just handed it to you with a pair of leggings  that you've left here a long time ago.
You both didn't say much. And Jungkook didn't try to pepper you with questions.
You're sitting on the edge of his bed when he brushes your hair behind your ear.
"I'll get you some water, yeah?"
He turns to leave, but you catch a hold of his wrist. "No," you pout. "Don't leave me alone." You get on your feet.
Jungkook takes your hand in his. "I won't," he says, after giving you a reassuring squeeze.
With his hand still around yours he takes you to the kitchen where he fills up a glass with water.
You sit down on a chair, waiting for him.
"Here," he says, holding the glass in front of you. "You should get some hydration."
You are indeed thirsty, your throat feels dry from all the crying, but still, your hands don't reach for the water. 
It's impossible to keep your thoughts away from drifting to what had happened tonight. Tears begin to well in your eyes. You avert your gaze down, not able to look into Jungkook's eyes.
He sets the glass on the table, worry taking over his features.
When the first whimper emits from you Jungkook kneels down and places his hands on your thighs.
"I-I've said no so many times," you sob. "But he still kept going." Your cheeks are wet again.
Jungkook's mouth hangs open a little when he realises what you've gone through tonight.
"He touched you?" Jungkook whispers, eyes staring at you intensely.
"I didn't want him to," you explain, burying your face in your hands. "But he didn't stop," you mumble into your palms.
"Fuck," Jungkook curses, jaw clenched. But he shakes his thoughts off. He tugs a chair close to you and pulls you into his arms. Jungkook allows you to let everything out.
It's a long night. He comforts you in the kitchen for you don't know how many minutes. Later he takes you to the living room after you've stated that you don't want to sleep yet.
He puts your favourite drama on, though neither of you watch. You cuddle and talk a little until Jungkook notices that you've fallen asleep on his chest. He brings you to his bedroom and tucks you up in his bed. You wake up during that process.
"I'm sorry," he mumbles when he meets your open eyes.
You don't say anything, just waiting for him to get underneath the duvet as well.
"Come sleep with me," you say, patting the empty side. He seems a little hesitant and you don't know why. "Please," you press. You know that you won't be able to have a peaceful sleep if he won't be next to you.
After looking into your pleading eyes Jungkook lays down next to you. You cuddle him from the side and close your eyes. The gentle brush of his fingers on your waist makes you fall into a deep slumber.
It's still dark outside when you wake up.
You don't know what woke you up but when you take a glimpse at the other side of the bed you notice it's emptiness.
Jungkook's side of the bed isn't even warm anymore. It's cold.
In an instant you get up. You search his whole apartment but there isn't a trace of Jungkook left behind.
It's not even 7 am. Where could he possibly be?
You're in the kitchen when you hear keys opening the front door. You whirl around, rushing to the door.
You're a few steps away when Jungkook enters the apartment. His eyes go big as he sees you standing in the middle of the hallway. He stays still, like he got caught doing something bad.
It's only when you get closer to him you see the wounds on his face.
"Where - where were you?" you ask.
Sheepishly, he scratches the back of his neck. His knuckles are red, some even bleeding.
"Jungkook," you whisper, concern filling your eyes.
"I couldn't - I...I just had to do this."
You shake your head when you realise where he had been.
Sighing, you cup his face with your hands. There's a wound on his bottom lip and a trail of dried blood coming from his nose.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he replies.
"Is he....?"
"I don't think he is fine," Jungkook shrugs. "But he'll get fine soon enough."
You brush you finger over his wound on his bottom lip.
"I should treat your wounds, Gguk."
You see the protest lingering in his eyes because he always tells you that you shouldn't worry too much about my injuries because they'll heal perfectly fine but you never care about what he has to say about this, so there's no exception for this time around either. You drag him to the bathroom where the first aid kid is stored.
"You shouldn't have done this."
You're applying a thin layer of antibiotic ointment on Jungkook's bottom lip after having cleaned all of his injuries with water. He's sitting on the closed toilet lid.
"You're lucky that nothing happened to your piercings," you add, eyeing both of his lip and eyebrow piercing.
Jungkook doesn't even flinch anymore when you smear the ointment over his wound. In the past years of having his injuries treated by you he had become used to the pain.
"You should be glad I didn't drive back to him the second you've told me what he did to you."
You stare at his lips. You shouldn't be loving the words that come out of his mouth to this extent.
"Is he still there?"
"I kicked him out."
"Thank you."
"Baby," he calls you. "Look at me."
You slowly drift your gaze up to his eyes.
You see it in his eyes, he wants to talk about this more. But you shake your head.
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"But you know that you can always talk to me about everything, right?"
"I know," you assure.
You'd die to give his lips a short peck. But you ignore that thought and grab his wrist to start covering his knuckles with the ointment as well. He has pretty hands. The kind that everyone would love to hold all day long.
The silence that falls upon you two isn't uncomfortable. It makes you remember that you wanted to ask Jungkook why he has been ignoring you so much lately.
Looking at the tatted hand that you're applying antibiotic ointment on you try to approach the situation differently.
"I've missed you."
He looks up at you, guilt in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he whispers. "Sora has been...I don't know. She doesn't like when I'm with you. Gets jealous and stuff."
You nod in sympathy. Minjun was like that too.
"I promise I won't be gone anymore. I'm here for you, okay?"
Though you don't want to upset his girlfriend, you still want to be with your best friend, so you ask, "Can we spend the day together tomorrow?"
"Of course."
"Do...do you think we could both call in sick for work?"
Jungkook smiles. "So you want that kind of hangout?"
You smile back at him. "Yeah."
"Good. Because I think I was gonna catch a fever tomorrow anyway."
You giggle.
You don't know how you're able to smile and laugh after how much you've cried today, but you guess that's just what being with Jungkook is like.
He makes it so easy for you to forget about all the bad things. When you're with him you forget about your surroundings and there's just you and him.
But maybe that's just what being in love feels like, you're not sure.
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pbandjk · 2 days ago
Delivery Boy 12
Genre: Unplanned pregnancy, Food delivery boy Jk! Slow burn, Angst, fluff, smut
Pairing: Jungkook x f. Reader
Word Count: 8k
Warnings: non graphic depictions of birth, protected sex
Summary: You’re a business woman who has everything figured out, so what happens when the guy you didn’t see coming makes a permanent stake in your life? Aka the one where you get knocked up by the delivery boy
12/12 series masterlist
Being full term is already a feat on it’s own, but add that with the weather warming up, and you’re practically miserable. You’ve been freezing Jungkook out when you get home, and you almost feel bad about it, seeing him shiver with a sweatshirt on.
Despite the first trimester’s problems, not being able to fit into your shoes, and not being able to squat or get up when you sit down, you’ve enjoyed pregnancy. Just knowing you’re growing your child inside you makes you feel powerful. You’ve never done anything more important than this. You also feel closer to the baby now that they’re active in your stomach. It feels like a constant companion. Absent-mindedly, you find yourself talking to the baby all the time. You never really feel alone being pregnant.
Despite all the wonderful things about it, it’s safe to say you’re more than willing to get this baby out of you. Jungkook has been on edge ever since you hit full term, like he’s expecting you to burst at any moment. Anytime you call him he answers immediately, sounding nervous. He always sighs when he realizes you just called him to tell him to pick up something on his way home.
You were given a list of things at the doctor to help induce labor. Jungkook’s been cooking you spicy food every night, and then trying to get it on with you. If it weren’t for the labor inducing benefits, you’d probably say no. You feel like a beached whale, unable to move anymore, not exactly the sexiest thing in the world.
You’ve been training this new girl to take over for you on maternity leave. She’s just barely in her twenties and a nervous wreck. You try not to get frustrated at her because all she wants is to be good at her first real job, but her calling outside of work hours is really starting to grind on your thin nerves.
You tell yourself stress isn’t good for the baby, and try and do counted breathes that you learned from googling, “how to relieve stress, pregnant”. Poor Jungkook picks up on your stress too and tries his best to help you out. He was already a nervous wreck with the baby being due, but he’s also trying to walk on eggshells around you to avoid stressing you out.
It isn’t your break time, but you’ve made it your break time before you start yelling at your replacement. You need some fresh air, so you head outside. There’s a staircase at the front of the building, and you can’t exactly tell where you step anymore, so all it takes is you missing the step by a few inches, causing you to trip and land on your ass.
Pain radiates through your tailbone and back, causing you to screw your eyes shut and clutch onto your stomach out of instinct.
“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” A panicked voice sounds near you, and you open your eyes to find two random people hovering around you.
“I’m fine.” You attempt to stand up with their help, but let out a squeak of pain when your stomach cramps, hard. You land back on your ass, albeit a little softer this time.
“You want us to call an ambulance?” The woman asks, fear clear in her eyes.
“No-” you aren’t even able to form the end of the word properly because you gasp at another sharp pain.
“I’m calling an ambulance!” The man insists.
It takes a little convincing, but they agree to just let you call your boyfriend to come get you.
You brace yourself, know how Jungkook’s going to respond. “Hi. So, I had a little accident-”
“WHAT?!” all attempt at trying to hide his panic is gone.
“I’m fine. But, I might be going into labor.”
“Fuck. You’re at work?” He doesn’t let you answer before he says, “I’ll be right there.”
“Go get the hospital bag!” you yell into the phone, but you aren’t sure he heard you before he hung up.
Jungkook looks like a mad man when he arrives, and you’d laugh if it wasn’t for the cramping.
“Did you get the hospital bag?” you ask once he helps you into the car.
He looks like he’s going to burst a blood vessel, or into tears. “No!?
You can’t help but laugh, laying a hand on his thigh and squeezing. “Calm down. You’re making me nervous.”
“How are you so calm? You’re the one about to give birth.”
Thankfully, you’re offered a wheelchair upon arrival and wheeled back to the maternity wing without wait.
You’re dressed in a gown and hooked up to some machines while Jungkook calls and texts everybody to let them know what’s happening. He’s had about an hour to settle down, and you think he’s finally handling it better.
“Your water hasn’t broken yet, and you’re only dilated at a two. The fall must have jarred you into early labor.” The doctor announces, taking her gloves off after examining you.
Your contractions are about twenty minutes apart and feel like bad period cramps.
“How long will it take to fully dilate?”
She gives a sympathetic smile. “Could be any number of hours. Everyone’s different. We’ll see how quickly you continue to dilate.”
“Do you want an epidural?”
“Yes, but I want to wait.”
“Okay, don’t hesitate to let me know when.”
“Mom’s leaving the restaurant to come down,” Jungkook says once the doctor leaves. “Do you want me to tell her not to?” You shake your head. You know she wants to be supportive.
“Your dad responded that he’s coming too.” You bite your lip at that. You appreciate the sentiment, but you almost wish to just be left with Jungkook.
You get another hour of peace and quiet alone until his mom and then your dad show up soon after. Jungkook makes small talk with them while you mostly zone out, counting and breathing through the small contractions.
Your dad leaves to go get coffee a little while later. When the door opens, you think it’s him back, but you almost shoot straight up in bed when you see who it is.
“Mom?” You didn’t know she was coming. Jungkook didn’t tell you. Or maybe she didn’t tell Jungkook.
“Hi darling, I started coming as soon as I heard the news.”
Your heart stutters at the thought of your parents being in the same room as each other. They haven’t spoken to each other since the divorce. You hate it, it shouldn’t be about them. This is supposed to be yours and Jungkook’s day.
You throw a glance towards Jungkook and he slyly tells you on his face that he’s just as shocked as you.
Seconds later, your dad walks through the door and you hold your breath. The two freeze when they spot each other. Then, it’s like nothing happened. He says her name curtly and she does the same.
Jungkook’s mom breaks the ice by talking about something you can’t pay much attention to because you’re still stunned. It's odd to you, after all these years to see them together again.
They both engage in conversation, but never with each other.
“Alright.” The doctor comes in, putting on gloves. “Everyone out, I’m going to check her dilatation.”
“I think I’m going to head to the cafeteria,” Jungkook’s mother announces.
“I’ll join you.” Of course your mom says so she won’t be left alone with your dad.
“Don’t you want to go?” you ask Jungkook and he shakes his head.
He’s fucking starving, but you aren’t allowed to have anything to eat, so he isn’t eating either. You told him he could earlier, but he said he’d feel too guilty eating in front of you. They let you have popsicles, so you both pretend to sate your hunger with barely flavored frozen water. You appreciate the solidarity.
“I can’t believe they’re in the same room together,” you finally speak lowly to Jungkook once everyone leaves.
“At least they’re getting along, right? That’s good.”
You hum but can’t help but feel it’s too good to be true.
“Still only 4 centimeters,” the doctor says after examining.
You groan, throwing your head back.
“I’m going to break your water which should help speed things up. Keep in mind, your contractions are going to be more intense. Just let us know when you want that epidural.”
You do your best to smile and nod at her.
“Don’t look when I start to push,” you tell Jungkook once you’re alone.
“Why not?”
“Some women tear all the way down to their assholes, do you really want to see that?”
“I want to see him being born.”
“I don’t think you will. I don’t want to.”
You watch your parents again when they come back in. They get less stiff around each other and even start to make retorts to each other. It makes you feel as though nothing is ever final. These two who swore to never talk to each other again are here doing it. You think they’ve finally managed to put the hard feelings behind them.
When your contractions start getting bad Jungkook’s mom suggests they stay in the waiting room until the baby’s born and your parents follow her lead, leaving you and Jungkook alone.
You ask for an epidural not long after. You thought you might make it all the way through, but five hours of pain is enough for you.
The nerves that had been hiding under the surface all day, covered up by family drama and breathing through contractions have resurfaced all at once. Your whole body starts to shake with anxiety.
You try to hide it, but of course Jungkook notices “Are you cold?”
Even though you’re not, you nod to cover up your nerves.
“Hey. Everything’s going to be fine. Just think, it’s not long until we can meet him.”
You nod, trying to smile for him even though you’re still scared.
“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He squeezes your hand and you squeeze it back. You don’t know what you would do without him.
He keeps you distracted by humming, singing, and rubbing your back all while you’re waiting to get to 10.
When you finally get the news, you’re relieved and terrified at the same. You’re ready to get it over with, but scared to do it.
They guide both of your legs up and ask Jungkook to hold one in place. The doctor instructs you on how to breathe and push. The epidural only worked on half of your body, so one side is numb and the other you can still feel the pain. You have a new found sympathy for people who go all natural.
You sweat and pant, cry and lean your head back when you think you can’t do it anymore. Jungkook is there every time, wiping your face with a cold rag and telling you how good you’re doing.
They constantly wipe around your bottom, and you’re not sure what's even coming out of you at this point, and you don’t ever want to know. Jungkook stays near your head, but you know he can see most everything from where he’s at.
You finally feel like you made progress, only for it to go away when you relax. You don’t remember when you start crying, but Jungkook gets you to breathe through it. The doctor keeps telling you to push, but you’re still trying to ground yourself.
“You’re doing so good, baby,” Jungkook speaks over her and you try and just pay attention to his voice. “You can do this. You’ve got this. Remember to breathe.”
You listen and breathe, for him, the baby, and your poor worn out body. You gather all the strength inside of yourself with a deep breath and push out with all your might.
“That’s it, that’s the pushes we need. Again.”
You don’t think you’re capable of doing it again, but you try and you feel the head actually breach your walls, screaming out at the small pain you feel and the strain you're putting on your body. You go limp after, but it doesn’t matter because the doctor catches the baby that practically shot out of you.
He cries immediately and the nurse sits him on your chest, while you feel like you’re stuck in a dream. Your baby’s here, and you pushed him out. You finally did it. Your arms finally move once reality sinks in, and you stroke his small back, cooing at him to stop crying as the nurse wipes him off, a little harshly in your opinion. “We have a baby,” you say to Jungkook without taking your eyes off your son. “He’s here,” you say, still in disbelief. You and Jungkook created him.
“He’s perfect.” Jungkook says beside you.
“Oh, looks like he peed,” The nurse chuckles, cleaning you both up.
You look at Jungkook to share a laugh with him, but you’re met with a camera over his face.
“We’ve got to push out the placenta, okay?” The doctor says.
You’re done with pushing, but luckily you don’t do much as the doctor mashes on your stomach. It feels like she’s rearranging your organs and you’re mad it's distracting your attention away from your baby.
“Dad, you want to cut the cord?”
Jungkook finally puts the camera down and you notice the tears that have been streaming down his face. He wipes them away, grabbing the scissors, and the doctor reassures him he can’t hurt you or the baby.
“Did I tear?” You ask the doctor even though you know the answer. You felt your vagnia practically rip to shreds at the last push.
The nurse finished cleaning up the baby and slipped him under your gown to lay skin to skin.
“Just a little bit. I’m gonna patch you up though, don’t worry.”
You know you tore more than a little, but you try not to think about the dull pull of the needle on your skin and instead focus on the whining baby on your chest. He’s letting out soft cries and squirming so you coo him again, stroking his back. “It’s okay, mommy’s here,” you tell him, pulling him farther up your chest.
You look back at Jungkook who’s still wiping at his face. You smile at him, then your baby. “Come say hi,” you try to coax him closer.
Jungkook steps closer, with the gentlest touch ever, he runs his hand on the back of the baby’s head that’s already full of dark hair, just like his dad. “Hi, Moon.” He leans down, giving him a kiss on the head. By now he’s settled down, just suckling on nothing. “I’m your dad,” he tells the little boy, like he’s just now realizing it himself.
You chuckle, snuggling him closer to you. They eventually get you cleaned up and a cooling diaper. The exhaustion has finally set in, and your arms grow tired, but you keep them wrapped tightly around the bundle on your chest.
“Here’s your matching bracelets so we can keep you together.” The nurse wraps the laminated paper around yours, Jungkook’s, and Moon’s wrists.
“We’re gonna take him to the nursery and then we’ll be back,” the nurse tells you. She’s waiting for you to hand him over and you reluctantly give him a kiss on the head before she scoops him up. “You can follow me dad.”
Jungkook leans down and gives you a kiss on the forehead before leaving.
Jungkook follows the nurse down the hall who’s pushing his baby in a cart. Moon starts to cry and he wants to stop and comfort him, but the nurse keeps going until she leads him into a room with other crying babies.
The nurse takes him out of his cart, laying him on a scale and Jungkook sees the faces of all his family members and your parents on the other side of the glass. His sister and dad are crying, his mom teasing his dad.
He smiles proudly at them as they all fawn over his baby. He did that. He made that cute baby. The nurse tells him the weight and he holds up his hand and two fingers for his family to know how much Moon weighs. Seven pounds and eleven ounces.
Jungkook takes pictures as the nurse does her thing, sometimes making him bite his tongue when Moon clearly isn’t happy with the tests. It’s almost like a natural instinct to cuss someone out when they’re making your baby cry.
When she finishes up she tells Jungkook to hold Moon up to the window for his family to see. Tears come when he realizes this is the first time he’s actually holding his baby. Moon is so tiny and weightless in his arms, and he’s terrified of making a wrong move. They take all kinds of pictures through the window and he feels like he’s going to burst with all the love and pride he feels for his child.
He eventually brings the baby back to you, knowing you’re missing him. It almost killed him seeing you in pain like that. He didn’t like it. The doctor also wasn’t helping. You’re clearly the type of person that needs gentle encouragement, and the doctor was acting like a coach yelling at a player.
Moon starts crying as soon as he walks back into the room and you hold your arms out for your baby. Jungkook scoops him out as gently as he can, transferring him to you. The nurse insisted that babies are tough, but he’s not about to test that out.
“You wanna try feeding?” The nurse asks you and you nod. She lifts your fresh gown up, helping you adjust the baby. He could have done that. He steps closer to you, as if saying, i’m here if you need me.
You lay him across your chest, nestling the crying baby up to your nipple, but he doesn’t react. You glance up at the nurse, as if embarrassed it’s not working. She smiles at you. “It’s okay, just keep encouraging him.”
He won’t stop crying, in fact his crying gets worse until he’s wailing and his little face turns completely red. You give up on breastfeeding and just holding him close, gently rocking your body.
“We can try later,” the nurse tells you, leaving the room so you’re both finally alone.
“What’s wrong, baby? Why are you crying?” You have tears in your eyes at your baby crying, as if it’s your fault.
You look over at him, and he feels useless as he just stands there, like he has the past twelve hours. “The nurse recommended that you do skin to skin with him too. Do you want to try?”
He immediately nods. He’s read about this in his research on how to be a dad. There’s a lot of stuff out there about motherhood, but what about guides on being a dad? He googled and bought every ebook there is about being a dad and even stuff about motherhood so he could sympathize with you. He constantly asks his dad and Namjoon for advice because he admires their parenting so much.
He takes off his camera first, setting it down on the bedside table before taking his shirt off. He gently takes Moon from you and lowers into the chair next to your bed, cradling him close to his chest.
“You can take his blanket off,” you tell him, gesturing towards the wrap the nurse put him in. He’s got a little hat on now too, covering his head full of hair. As smoothly as possible, he wraps the blanket around them both, holding him skin to skin. Somehow, Moon finally stops crying. He looks up in shock at you to find you’re holding his camera, snapping pictures.
Jungkook holds him for a while, and he almost drifts to sleep with him in his arms. You’re already asleep, your body couldn’t hold out any longer after being in labor for hours. He feels fully at peace now, knowing you and Moon made it out perfectly healthy. There’s nothing else in the world he feels he could wish for, he’s already got it right here in this room.
Everything is going great until Moon starts to suckle again. He doesn’t want to wake you up, but knows you won’t want to miss this opportunity.
Thankfully he doesn’t have to be the bad guy because the nurse comes in again and wakes you up, asking you to feed before the first hour is up. The fact that it’s only been an hour since he was born is crazy. It felt like a whole day to Jungkook.
He trades off the baby and lets you try again, guiding Moon up to your breast. He actually opens his mouth this time, suckling around your nipple. You almost let out happy tears. Jungkook snaps a picture of you both, knowing you’ll want to remember this moment.
“Does it feel like he’s getting anything?” The nurse asks you.
“I think so.” you try to smile at Jungkook, but he can see you grimacing as if it’s painful. “Oh,” you say in shock, looking down at him. “I think it just now came through.” You laugh and the nurse smiles. She shows you the proper technique and gives tips on how to get him to latch. “Keep trying to feed him. He can feed for the next hour or so.” You nod. “Do you want to see family?”
Your head jerks up to Jungkook as if you forgot anyone existed outside of this room. “Oh, I definitely want them to come in,” you tell him. You feel guilty that your first thought is you wouldn’t mind seeing Jungkook mom and sister. You could use their motherly presence right now. But, you’re not going to hurt your parents like that so you tell the nurse you’ll accept visitors in about an hour.
“You don’t have to see anyone, you know.” Jungkook tells you.
“No, I want them to come in.” You want the grandparents to be able to hold their new grand baby and his sister to get to hold her nephew the day they were born. “Don’t you?”
He nods.
You drift to sleep breastfeeding. Moon latches on off and on, but you keep him snuggled to your chest the whole hour. You wake again sometime later, feeling like your nipple is raw. You’re supposed to be switching sides, but you fell asleep.
You go to say something to Jungkook and find him slumped over in his chair, his phone on the ground where it fell out of his limp hand. He’s gonna wake up with a crick in his neck.
You text everyone to come back when Jungkook wakes up. Your mom is the first guest and finds it strange seeing her hold a baby, your baby.
Maybe they can have a better relationship together than you do with her. Moon stares widely at his grandma, as if saying, there’s more people?! He studies her as she tries to get him to smile. “He’s perfect, y/n,” she says softly while fondly gazing at Moon. For some reason it makes you tear up.
Your dad comes in next and your mom hands him over. You watch as your dad holds your newborn child, with such delicacy it was hard for you to believe. It was like you had forgotten that you had been little once, and that he had been your hero. Your dad was always ready to play with you instead of helping your mother around the house, and he was always the one you wanted to rock you to sleep, your mother expressing her betrayal. Your mother always called you a daddy's girl, bringing it up whenever you had a fight with him as a teenager.
You didn’t realize that as a child, it was so hard for you to find any fault in your father. Whatever he did you assumed was what good fathers did, even if it displeased you.
Just because you have a distant relationship with your parents doesn’t mean Moon has to. You’ll bring him to see your dad often and FaceTime your mom. As many mistakes they made as parents, you won’t doubt your parents' love for Moon.
Jungkook’s family comes in at once, Unnie already crying. His mom picks Moon up first and Unnie comes over to you. “How did it go?” She starts rubbing your shoulder and you almost cry at the question. You’ve been so focused on Moon that you’ve pushed down how tough the birth was for you.
She laughs, knowing the pain you’re hiding. “Could you feel it?”
“A little.”
“I forgot what he called them, but I just know it’s a bloodbath down there.”
She laughs then shifts her attention to her brother. “You better take care of her, okay? She just pushed a human out of her.”
Jungkook’s eyes widen, like he’s afraid he hasn’t been doing just that. “I will.”
After his family dotes on Moon for a while they dismiss themselves like your parents to give you some alone time, but Unnie lingers “You want me to stay?” she asks. “I can help out while one of you sleeps.”
The polite thing to do would be decline, but the thought of her leaving so soon makes you panic. It’s nice having someone who’s been in your shoes before. “Just for a little while. You need to go home to your kids.”
The nurse comes back in, but not for the baby this time. “Do you need to pee yet, mama?”
You had a small meal while everyone was visiting and holding the baby, but you didn’t drink enough to have to pee so you shake your head.
“I’ll give you a few more hours until we have to do a catheter.”
Your eyes widen at the word and Unnie most have noticed because she leans down to you. “It’s okay, y/n. A catheter might even be better. Peeing is going to feel like the depths of hell breaching your vagina.”
The nurse laughs. “Why don’t you try first, and if you can’t we’ll try to hydrate you more.”
Not knowing what sounds better, you decide to take your chances with peeing. When you try to sit up for the first time you realize all the aches of your body.
“Jungkook, help her,” Unnie instructs.
Jungkook quickly wraps his arms around you, gently guiding you off the bed. Your legs feel like jelly as you wobble to the bathroom, not caring that your ass is hanging out of the gown, showing off your diaper. This is definitely the roughest you’ve ever felt, and probably looked. If your relationship with Jungkook can survive seeing you like this, you think it’s pretty strong. You tug your diaper down and he helps you lower onto the toilet.
“I’m good now.”
He nods and shuts the door to give you some privacy.
You try, but nothing comes out. You manage to get yourself back up and when you open the door Jungkook fusses at you for not calling him.
The nurse inquires and you shake your head.
You’re fed various liquids to try and encourage your pee, meanwhile Moon feeds off and on.
The nurse encourages a diaper change, and you both hover awkwardly above the cart, neither moving first.
“I’ve never changed a boy diaper,” you confess even though Jungkook knows this.
“I can do it.” You watch him as he’s the first to change Moon’s diaper. You feel a little useless, but you remember how to swaddle him like the nurse taught so you feel better.
Thankfully, all the liquid did get you to pee, even though it made you cry with how much it burned. At dark, Namjoon drops off food for you both and Unnie leaves with him.
You’ve made it pretty much a full day of being parents. Jungkook falls asleep in the reclining chair that you’re sure isn’t very comfortable. Moon sleeps in his cart beside you. You snap a picture of them both sleeping. Your boys.
You’re so fucking glad to leave the hospital. You just want to lay in your own bed and be alone with your baby and baby daddy. Jungkook had to go home and put the carseat in, which took him a while, and you resisted teasing seeing how frustrated he looked.
Jungkook drives almost under the speed limit on the way home, making you bite back your smile at how cautious he’s being. You definitely want him to, but he’s so focused on driving and being careful, it’s actually adorable at the amount of concentration.
You wanted to introduce Moon to his new home, but he snoozes in his carrier, so you’ll have to do it later.
It is a little terrifying. At the hospital you relied on them to guide you and correct you if you did something wrong. Now it’s completely up to you and Jungkook. You’re both responsible for this new life you created. Everything is up to you two now.
Jungkook sits the sleeping baby down in the living room, looking at you. “We’re parents now.”
You’ve been parents for a while, but you laugh, knowing what he means. It simultaneously the most scared, and prepared you’ve ever felt. “We’re parents now.”
For Moon’s first bath, Jungkook sets up the camera. His tiny tub sits in the big one and you make sure you’ve got the right temperature ten times before you finally put him in. He cocks his head curiously at the first splash of water you pour on him, but starts to smile when you do it again. Of course, you and Jungkook freak out over his first smile, and he smiles at how silly his parents are.
Breastfeeding is hard. Your nipples are in pain, chafing, raw, sometimes even bleeding. But, you keep pushing through it, wanting to use your milk for Moon. He loves it, gobbles it up everytime. You and Jungkook joke he gains a pound a day. You don’t get much sleep at night because of it, but you tell yourself all you have to do right now is take care of him, so that’s what you do.
Jungkook tries to help you occasionally by bottle feeding with your stored milk, but a lot of the times Moon cries and your milk lets down regardless, making you have to feed or pump.
You like to lay on the couch and watch tv while Moon lays beside you feeding. This is how Jungkook finds you most afternoons and joins you by cuddling in behind you.
The apartment is always a disaster, and if it wasn’t for Jungkook doing laundry, you wouldn’t have any. Since you’re home all day, you cook in the afternoon. Jungkook said he would, but you tell him you’re still making up for everything he did for you.
You thought your romance might die out after the baby was born, but Jungkook always finds a way to make you feel wanted. He’s good at small touches and still compliments you regardless of what you look like. He makes you feel as though you didn’t just give birth a few weeks ago.
You try to show him the same affection, even offering to give him blowsjobs which he declines. You’re hurt by it, but he insists it’s because you should be resting instead of giving him blowjobs which you roll your eyes at.
You get mad at him for a while and he makes up for it by saying he’d love a blowjob from you when he can reciprocate.
You practically live in Jungkook’s t-shirts, or none at all. Yours are too clingy. You like keeping your bra on at all times because it stops leaking and acts as a holder when you need to pump. You just slip the pump into your bra and you can walk around, hands free.
Jungkook sets his phone background to a picture of you and Moon. He doesn’t think much of it until you lean over his shoulder one day. “You can’t use that picture on your phone!”
“Why not?”
“My boobs are out!”
He didn’t really think about it. You’re practically shirtless all the time, or at least have a boob out. He forgot that is something people cover up. A sheepish smile forms. “Oh, sorry.”
“How many people have you accidentally flashed my boobs to?!”
He grimaces, rubbing his neck. He changes it to a picture of the both of you again, with your boobs covered this time.
The doctor said you only had to wait six weeks to have sex, but it’s taken until twelve to actually feel like you possibly could have sex again.
Your stitches healed up nicely, but you know you don’t look the same, there and everywhere else too.
Unnie is keeping Moon for the night, after practically begging. She insisted you both need a night alone, but you know she just wants to have her nephew to herself. Jungkook is in the shower when she arrives and you’re still gathering Moon’s things.
“I’m sure if you forget something, we’ll have it at our house,” she assures you.
You smother your child in affection before finally letting him in Unnie’s arms.
“You two have fun tonight.” She winks.
It’s not until she leaves that you realize you left the bag of stuff you got at the drugstore unpacked on the counter. One of the items being lube. Ugh, whatever. You know she understands.
“I miss my baby,” is the first thing you sigh when you and Jungkook are alone.
Instead of saying, “it’s only been a few minutes” Junngkook responds, “Me too.”
The mixed drinks were your idea. Truthfully, you’re more nervous than you were the first time you had sex. You’ve missed the intimacy, but the thought of having to face how your body has changed is hard.
You wish you were confident enough to come out in some lingerie and surprise Jungkook, that’s what you think he deserves.
When the night eventually leads to Jungkook carrying you back to the bedroom you make him stop before he takes your shirt off. He’s seen you breastfeed, but at least then you’re able to wear your pants to cover your stomach.
“Let’s turn the lights off.”
He frowns from above you. “Y/n.”
“My body doesn’t look the same.”
“I don’t expect it to. It’s okay, you’re still you, only you carried our child for nine months.” He smooths his hands down your sides, leaning down. He plants a kiss on your nose, “Which only makes you more badass.” You smile at the flattery, but he knows you don’t buy it. “Don’t worry about me not finding you attractive.” He grabs your hand in his, pulling it down to feel hardness through his pants. “You could never be unattractive to me because you’re you.”
You lean up to kiss him and he meets you there. You forget about your insecurities for a little while, and he starts to suckle on your neck. But, when his hands travel to your breasts and you flinch back. They’re sensitive and sore from breastfeeding and the thought of Jungkook treating them like he usually does makes you cringe.
“Let me take care of you first.”
He’s a little resistant, but you manage to push him to sit in front of you. You get him out of his clothes and settle to the side so your boobs aren’t squished on the bed.
You can tell Jungkook’s having a hard time holding back so it seems like he’s not been deprived, and trying to let go and show you how much he likes it. He makes you pull back before he finishes in your mouth.
When you get the condom from the bedside drawer you reach over and turn the lamp off and Jungkook sighs. Your eyes adjust and you can still see each other in the dark, just not clearly. Finally, you take off your pants, but keep on your bra. You can feel that familiar ache in your boobs and you hope the bra will help when inevitably they start moving.
You tear open the condom and Jungkook lets you put it on him, but pulls back after. “I haven’t touched you yet.”
“It’s fine, I bought lube.”
He laughs when you pull the bottle out of the side drawer. “I don’t think it’s meant to be a substitute for shitty partners.”
“I don’t really want to be touched,” you admit softly.
His face contorts in worry. “We don’t have to do this.”
“I want to though.”
“Do you?”
You nod. “I’m just not open to everything right now. I still want to do this.” You reach up to run your hand through his hair and kiss his jaw. “I want you.”
You can sense his body respond to the words and he settles between your legs. You brace yourself for him to push inside, but instead he nestles himself into you. He drags his hips against yours, making his length brush from your entrance all the way up to your clit.
Your arms wrap around him to pull him closer to you. His mouth finds yours again and you both groan into each other as he works himself up and down you. You were already wet from pleasing him, but this is what gets you needy.
“Please,” is all you have to whimper to him.
Gently, he pushes himself into you, making you gasp at the feeling.
“Does it hurt?” he’s quick to ask.
“A little,” you admit, even though it hurts more than a little. He goes super slow, and he knows how you’re feeling based on your nails digging into his back. “Do you want me to stop?”
You shake your head.
“Can I touch you?”
“I’m fine,” you assure with confidence. Then, he doesn’t even get halfway in till you jolt up, wincing. “Ow, ow.”
“What?” his voice is panicked and he immediately pulls out of you.
“My milk, I'm letting down.” You reach into the drawer for your pump. The feeling was building up slowly, but it just hit you out of nowhere.
You slip the pump into your bra and Jungkook wordlessly gets up, leaving the room. The sobs break though all at once. You feel bad because you want you both to have sex, but you’re also mad at him for leaving you just because you can’t have sex.
“Hey,” he tries to soothe you when he comes back, clearly shocked to see you so upset. You immediately sink into the bed with adoration because he went to go wet a rag to clean you up. “Don’t cry.” He wipes your cheeks with his thumbs before leaving kisses in place.
You let him clean you up, and he pulls your pants back on for you.
“We don’t have to have sex just because we don’t have Moon. There will be other opportunities.”
You nod even though you feel like it’s not true.
It’s the next night and Moon sleeps in his crib next to your bed and you have the baby monitor resting on your chest while you and Jungkook lounge on the couch together. Usually one of you falls asleep like this because you’ve stayed up all night with Moon, but you got a good night sleep so you’re both up.
You’re not sure how it gets here, but he ends up on top of you, leaving open mouth kisses along your jaw and your hips jut up towards his for some friction.
He takes your shirt off and you’re about to tell him to stay away from your boobs when he presses light kisses around your breasts, knowing to be careful this time. “Is this okay?”
You nod.
The lamp beside the couch doesn’t help hide your still swollen stomach all it’s stretch marks. You thought a couple months would be enough time for your body to go back to normal, but no. You look like you did when you were a few months pregnant.
He places kisses all along your stomach, stopping in between to say things like, “You’re so strong.” “Your body has done amazing things” and other little compliments about how you look.
It’s oddly tear provoking and you grab his face to pull up to yours to kiss him firmly before you can cry.
His hands snake around your back and fiddle with your bra strap. “Can I take this off?” he mumbles against your lips.
“Just be careful.”
He obeys and looks back down at you with a new hunger in his eyes. His hands are as gentle as his mouth around your breasts. He knows not to touch your nipples still because of how sore they get.
His hands find your pants and you encourage him to pull them off.
“Can I touch you?”
You’re even more insecure now that there’s light for him to see everything up close and personal. But, the only thing holding you back is being scared of how you look, and Jungkook has proven so much already that he’s not judging you.
So, you tell him yes.
You keep glancing at the baby monitor on the coffee table, even though Moon doesn’t move in his sleep. You like the peace of mind.
He starts slow with timid touches, but you encourage him that you can take it. He wants to use his mouth, but you tell him to save it for another time.
After the third finger, you make him pull out so you can have him inside you. This time goes a little smoother. It’s still a little painful, but he goes slow and you’re turned on enough you don’t mind.
It’s slow and not rushed like you imagined the first time would be after not having each other for so long. Neither of you are impatient, you just enjoy each other.
You can always tell when Jungkook is close by his little grunts and the way he picks up his thrusts, and you know he’s about to come when-
A cry comes through the baby monitor. Of course, your first instinct is to run to him as you usually do. But, you turn back to Jungkook. “Keep going.”
“You can finish, he’ll be okay.” Who knows the next time you’ll be able to have sex again and you usually give Moon a few seconds anyway to see if he’ll settle down on his own.
Jungkook leans his head back down to yours, slowly thrusting back into you. You can tell he’s lost all his momentum, so you squeeze around him, and tug him closer with your legs. Your nails rake down his back in the way you know he loves.
He suddenly stops, sitting up. “I can’t do it.” He pulls out of you, already half limp. He redressess and heads towards the bedroom. Moon’s crying slows and Jungkook emerges with his son in his arms, bouncing him.
“You go and clean up. I’ll get him to settle down,” he tells you.
You come back from the bathroom to find Jungkook swaying Moon in his arms, singing him a song. He’s completely fixated on his dad’s voice. You stop in the doorway to admire them before pulling out your phone to record.
You end up having sex again on the couch, no rush or any sort of pressure. Just wanting to be close to each other.
It’s not the last time Moon interrupts you’re private time, but both always find a way to make it up later.
You both tell Moon you love him all the time and there’s been many times you’ve both let it slip that you love each other. It’s easy to do when the “i love you’s” are flying for your son. You both ignore it every time, knowing they were slip ups.
Jungkook comes over to tell Moon goodbye before heading off for work. He leans down, kissing his tiny forehead. “I love you,” he coos, grinning when Moon grins.
He comes over to you, accepting his keys from your hands. He leans down to kiss you on the mouth, “I love you.”
Your mouth opens and closes and before you can form a reaction, he’s out the door.
You reciprocate by surprising him with the three words when you drop off something at this work and leave before he can react just like he did to you.
Eventually, it just comes naturally to say it to each other.
“I don’t think I can go back to work,” you admit to Jungkook one night.
The thought of leaving your baby makes you physically ill. You feel like he was just born and now you’re going to have to not see him all day? Not being able to squish his cheeks, kiss him all over, and not feed him until six?! That sounds fucking miserable and has tears in your eyes just at the thought.
Jungkook’s mom insisted that she would retire from work to keep Moon, but you won’t let her do that. You know running the restaurant is her dream that you aren’t gonna let her give up early. You’ve found a few reputable nannies around, but none of them feel like you can leave your baby with. He’s your baby, and you’re just supposed to leave him with someone you don’t know all day?
“I’ve thought about getting a job I can do at home or take Moon to but, I’m gonna lose all my insurance.”
“You could get a job at the restaurant. Part time. Mom can watch Moon while you work, and she can work on the days you don’t.”
It’s not a terrible idea. Jungkook’s mother is the only person you would trust watching Moon besides his sister. This way you don’t have to give up a job. It sucks you’re going to have to give up your degree level salary, but you can make enough between you two to live a humble life. You may be giving up a few luxuries in life, but you think it’s worth it for family time.
“What am I gonna do there?”
“We’ll find something. They did for me.”
“Let’s talk with them first before we get too gung-ho,” you say, but know as well as he does his parents will make it work.
“Mom’s gonna freak out.”
You both laugh.
You’re gone on a lunch date with Kate so Jungkook decided it would be nice to go on a walk. He put Moon in his stroller and headed for the park.
It’s become normal for him now to expect people walking by to stop and try and talk to both him and Moon. But, he’s never experienced it without you there. The women are like vultures and Moon is their prey.
The first people to stop him are two women that look to be in their thirties. They coo at Moon first and then all attention is on Jungkook. “What’s his name?”
He tells them and they freak out, but he could have said anything. “That’s so cute!”
One of them bats her eyelashes up at him. “I’m sure it’s hard being a single dad.”
Jungkook chokes on his spit. “O-oh. No, I’m not single. I’m with his mother.” He notices the way her eyes flit down to his left hand.
This doesn’t stop the whole way through the park. Women make goo-goo eyes at Moon, then at him. Someone even puts their hands on him which he had to quickly remove.
Even men and old women stop and try and talk to him, like having a kid is an invitation for a chat. He just wanted to walk through the park, not be a spectacle.
Maybe he should get some sort of promise ring so people will stop thinking he’s single.
“How did the park go?” you ask when you get back to the apartment. Of course, you go to scoop your son up first and smother him in kisses.
The way Jungkook answers has you tilting your head at him. “Did something happen?”
“No, just…” he looks off, ruffling the hair behind his neck.
You raise your eyebrow at him and Moon starts blowing bubbles.
“What if we got rings?” He notices the confusion and quickly corrects, “Like, promise rings of some sort? Something less cheesy?”
You wonder where all this is coming from. You haven’t exactly talked about marriage before. “You were thinking about this at the park?”
“Sort of. People just assume I’m single, ya know?”
Oh, you finally get it. Jungkook’s getting hit on.
“Like pre-marriage rings?”
“Or just symbolic rings of sorts since I know you don’t want to get married.”
You furrow your eyebrows. “I never said that.”
His head whips around to you. “When you talked to my grandma about it-”
“Sure, I’ve never had the best idea of marriage. But, the idea of it now seems so… harmless.”
Marriage isn’t what holds people together, and it’s not what tears people apart. It’s simply a label put on whatever relationship you build together. Your parents would have had the same relationship regardless if they were married or not.
“Do you want to get married?” you ask, already expecting an answer.
“You don’t have to get married because of me. I’ve also come to understand that marriage isn’t all I thought it was. If we never got married, I don’t think we’d love each other any less.”
A small smile forms on your lips. “So, we’re gonna get married then?”
He laughs, making Moon automatically grin too.
196 notes · View notes
readyplayerhobi · 2 days ago
Queen of Ice | 07
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; Bodyguard!Jungkook x Princess!Reader
; Genre: Angst
; Warnings: Character death, violence
; Word Count: 2.6k
; Synopsis: Jeon Jungkook is the best water magic user of his generation, so it made sense that he was given the prestigious posting as a royal bodyguard. His position puts him close to you, the Crown Princess of Sejong and the only ice magic user in history. Jungkook is great at protecting you from danger, but not so much at protecting his own heart.
; A/N: So, I’m not used to writing fight scenes and it’s been a while...I hope you enjoy this! A lot happens in a short amount of time so...please reblog if you enjoyed it! Please also leave a comment or send me an ask with your thoughts about the plot and the characters, I can’t wait to read it :D
; Previous - Next
The kingdom was in mourning.
Your father, the man who had ruled over the land and the people within it for over forty years, had finally succumbed to his illnesses. For a man who had often ruled with an iron fist, his end had been remarkably quiet, passing away to his second life silently during his sleep. One moment he was alive, and the next he was gone.
Unsurprisingly, you hadn’t shown an ounce of emotion upon finding out the news. Part of it was because of the fact you’d known he was slowly dying for years now, another part was the antagonism you’d engaged with your father and the final part was simply that you weren’t a hugely emotional person. Not that Jungkook had ever seen, anyway. 
The two of you had butted heads repeatedly over the years, so Jungkook wasn’t surprised at the lack of reaction. He knew it unnerved people around you, though. But when did you not make people feel uncomfortable, even if you didn’t mean it?
Either way, the king’s funeral procession was today and you were expected to lead it. The plan was simple; you would walk somberly behind your father’s coffin as it was carried towards the necropolis where all royalty and those who could afford it were buried for the last few centuries. 
You walked with your head held high, the traditional mourning colours of white and purple adorning your funeral clothing whilst the sun shone down through a clear sky. Jungkook’s only experience with the funerals of royalty was when your mother, the queen, had died. People had sobbed behind the line of guards as they’d watched the coffin roll by, the sound of the carriage horses hooves drowned out by the grief of the people.
Your mother had been beloved by the people whom she’d ruled over, her warmth almost visible alongside her kind smile. She had helped to soothe the ragged edges of the king, calming him into something that almost resembled a normal man. It was the only time Jungkook had ever remembered hearing your father laugh and smile. That had all ended when she’d died.
For Jungkook, he’d already been thinking of all the things that could potentially go wrong. Your coronation would be soon and you’d finally hold the title of queen instead of crown princess. He felt pride for you, but also worry and concern. You were in a vulnerable position, about to take on the rulership of an entire kingdom by yourself.
No family to rely on, no backup in case something was to happen to you. The kingdom was weaker than it had ever been, whilst also being stronger than ever. It was an odd dichotomy but something he was sure you would rectify.
Despite your protests to your father, Jungkook knew that you would eventually take a husband and produce an heir. 
His stomach twisted at the thought of you full with child, the future of the kingdom resting within your womb. A child that had been implanted by a man worthy of you and your time. The two of you hadn’t discussed what had happened in the library, though he had noticed that you liked him to spend time with you inside a room instead of standing guard outside of it.
He would almost consider you friends, though that felt a little presumptuous. 
Jimin's hand flew up suddenly, pulling Jungkook’s attention immediately as he spun to face the direction Jimin was facing. His eyes were already tracking for whatever threat his fellow guard had spotted. There was a brief flare of fire, burning so bright that it was a blue-white instead of the more familiar orange-red and Jungkook realised that it was an arrow, burning up so fast that it became ash before it could even reach the group.
The clatter of the metal arrowhead hitting the floor was muted against the overall noise of the crowd but Jungkook could see the superheated metal as it melted out of shape on the floor. Someone was firing at them, or more importantly, firing at you.
A sudden flare of light brought his attention back and Jungkook searched for wherever the attacker was. Somehow, Jimin had spotted someone and was actively defending you. There’s no time for Jungkook to curse himself for not noticing, but it wouldn’t matter anyway. The whole point of Jimin also being there was to protect you.
"Down!" Jungkook hissed, his hand pressing against your shoulder and pushing with his weight. You've spotted the burst of flame as well and stumble forward from the pressure he applies, hands reaching out to stop yourself from falling too harshly.
Whilst he’s pushing you down, his head swings around to look at Hoseok. The other guard is automatically scanning around for other threats and his arm swings up suddenly, causing a geyser of earth to erupt from the ground and send a man flying through the air. Screams from innocent bystanders begin, some of them showered by falling dirt that Hoseok can’t avoid.
“Jungkook!” You scream, bringing your hands up to cover your head as dirt falls on you as well. Given how he’s practically crouched over you, he would’ve expected to be almost deafened by how loud you’d been. But at the exact moment you scream, another burst of flame roars from Jimin’s hand toward the original attacker, the sound so loud that Jungkook swears his eardrums have just burst.
“Stay down, don’t you dare get up!” He hisses into your ear, leaning so close that his nose is gently brushing against the delicate skin of your temple. Maybe he’ll think about this moment later, maybe he’ll remember how you smell so close. But for now, all he can think about is protecting you.
Pressing a hand on your shoulders, he pushes once more to keep you firmly on the ground before rising and shouting out Hoseok’s name. He looks over immediately, his black hair remaining out of his eyes as they glow a rich brown from his power use. 
Jungkook points down towards you.
“Cocoon, now!” 
A brief nod from Hoseok is his only reply before his hands move in an intricate motion and Jungkook feels the ground beneath him begin to soften. Backpedalling away, he keeps a close eye on you as you begin to sink into the earth. You howl in protest but once you’re far enough below the road, Hoseok causes the ground to arch above you in all directions before sealing. 
It’s something they’d practised many times before and Jungkook feels a moment of pride in his friend for how well he’d done under pressure. The new walls surrounding you are solid, but he spies the strategic holes along the floor that provide you with air to continue breathing. Protection was the goal, not accidentally suffocating you.
“Jungkook! Get over here!” Jimin calls, his voice strained from the effort of using his magic so intensely. It’s only then that Jungkook realises that the attackers have given up using traditional weapons and are instead fighting with their magic. Which would be fine, except Jimin is in an intense fight with another earth user. His sparring with Hoseok over the years has helped him, but fire isn’t strong against earth.
Jimin’s feet have sunk into the ground, his opponent destabilising him and not allowing him to move efficiently. It was a tactic that Jungkook would approve of if it was his guards doing it. He didn’t like it being done to one of his own though and he frowned in annoyance.
Narrowing his eyes, he concentrates on the ground around Jimin’s feet and increases the amount of water. Some people thought that magic users created their element out of nothing, but it was more a case of taking the element out of what was already there. Whilst the ground itself appeared dry, there were tiny molecules of water hidden deep within and it was that Jungkook pulled forth.
Within moments, the ground was muddy and Jimin managed to stagger out, almost falling backwards until a gust of wind from a fellow guard kept him upright. The carriage with the king’s coffin had already disappeared, the horses being encouraged to run towards the necropolis instead of walking calmly as before. Many of the general castle guards had moved to evacuate the civilians whilst some had gone with the carriage. A few had stayed to help Jungkook protect you, though it annoyed him that so many had left.
His attention is once more on the attackers when he feels the air around him change, the fine hairs on his arm rising and causing him to shiver whilst his nose twitches. The scent of the air is different, overwhelmingly sweet and Jungkook knows what that is. He doesn’t even get a chance to call out a warning though, a flash of light so bright that it blinds him momentarily and then it sounds like the world has ended.
Crying out, he falls to the ground with one hand covering his eyes and the other blindly reaching out for…something. He doesn’t know what. It’s only then that he realises he’s not reaching for anything, but that his hand is spasming, his brain unable to make it work properly. The electricity from the lightning strike that’s just hit has managed to hit him too, though he’s thankful that he doesn’t seem to be suffering anything worse than a cramping hand right now.
Laying on the ground, Jungkook groans out loud and notes that he can’t hear himself. Blinking a few times, he brings the sky back into focus and notes how clear the sky is. There are no clouds, so the only answer was an extremely powerful lightning user. Stronger than Jungkook had ever seen. Electricity was a secondary magic, an off-shoot of fire and usually quite weak in comparison.
That didn’t mean it couldn’t be lethal though, the weakness of the magic was directly related to the user and electricity could be deadly with even a small voltage. Someone who could create a lightning bolt as strong as this one on a clear day was far deadlier than he liked.
Rolling over, he manages to stagger to his feet and feels oddly vulnerable. The world sounds muffled, and a hand to his ear brings back blood. It’s then that the pain sets in, causing him to wince.
A sudden touch on his arm has him spinning around, his senses reaching out to all the water he can find nearby to protect himself but it’s only Hoseok. The man he’d been fighting is lying on the floor a few metres away, clearly dead. Hoseok’s face is full of concern for him, but Jungkook’s eyes slide past him to another man who has suddenly appeared, his hands visibly sparking with electricity.
Grinding his teeth, Jungkook simply stares at the man and watches as the sparks disappear. Unlike when he’d done this with your father, Jungkook doesn’t let this man go, instead holding onto every molecule of water in his body like a vice. Instead, he twitches his fingers and the man…explodes. It’s the only way to describe the forceful expulsion of water from his body, but it’s fast and efficient.
Coughing harshly, Jungkook moves towards the cocoon of earth that still holds you, hoping that you’re just as safe as he’d intended. A movement from Hoseok has the earth retracting slightly, letting him see your furious face that quickly transitions into concern at the blood leaking from his ears.
He doesn’t hear you properly when you talk, and Jungkook feels so vulnerable at being unable to hear. Twisting his lips, he places a hand on your shoulder and looks back towards Hoseok, tilting his head in question. His fellow guard gives a nod back, indicating that there are no more attackers. It had been a quick blitz attack, obviously hoping to kill you fast. They just hadn’t anticipated the Jimin would be so quick to spot them.
Soft skin presses to his cheek and he turns back to look at you, noting the worry in your eyes as they scan over him. His hand moves to cup yours, his disorientation making sure that he’s reacting in a way that he would normally be mortified over, before giving you a tense smile. He tells you that he’s okay, though he guesses that he was being a little too loud given how you wince slightly.
Then you look away from him, towards where Jimin had been engaged in his fight. His attacker was dead, half of his body burnt to a crisp whilst another two are in much the same way. Jungkook feels a sense of pride at how well his guards had responded, how they’d succeeded in protecting you.
But then your hand tightens slightly on his cheek, fingers suddenly ice cold and he flinches away from them. Following your gaze, he sees a fourth body lying on the ground. At first, he assumes it’s another attacker, yet another victim of Jimin’s lethal fire but then he realises that they have electricity burns instead. Maybe the electric user had accidentally killed one of his people?
But then he spots the familiar uniform, the hair he’d grown so used to seeing over the years. His head is turned away, giving them the grace of not having to see him in death, but Jungkook knows that it’s Jimin. That his fellow guard, his closest friend, is dead.
Hoseok is knelt next to the body, gently pressing two fingers to his throat before he looks over at Jungkook and yourself with grief on his face. A slight shake of his head tells you both what you already knew; Jimin had given the ultimate gift. He’d sacrificed himself to protect you.
Now Jungkook isn’t shivering from pain or electricity, but from how cold the temperature has dropped. His breath comes out in puffs that you only see on the coldest of days and his fingers almost ache with the temperature. Glancing down, he notes how the ground begins to shimmer as frost spreads across the ground with the speed of fire racing along spilt oil. 
Your fingers are dug into the loosened soil, clawing at the ground uselessly whilst the expression on your face makes his heart tighten. Not in awe or anything romantic, but in fear. Because your lips are almost non-existent from how firmly you’re pressing them together, eyes a cold white with just a tint of blue and your brows furrowed together. There are so many emotions crossing your face, and it takes Jungkook a moment to figure them out.
Hoseok is moving towards you now, his movement obvious in the corner of Jungkook’s eyes but he slips on the icy floor and almost goes flying. It’s then that Jungkook realises that your magic has reached the nearby trees, their branches tall and delicate. Ice drips from them now in deadly icicles, each branch bowing down from the weight of your anger and grief at the loss of Jimin.
For the death of your father, you had shown no emotions. But for the death of Jimin, a simple guard, you mourned and raged as Jungkook had never seen. Not a single tear fell from your eyes though, but as the tree became heavier and heavier with ice, he knew that the ice on the tree was the tears you couldn’t let out.
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ahundredtimesover · a day ago
i can’t get enough of the TLA couple. After I saw your post about jungkook’s pov when y/n was unconscious i couldn’t help but wonder what was jk’s reaction when he found out y/n is pregnant and how did he found out🙈🙈
i hope if your time will let you we will see some snippets from the life of the tla couple because they became one of my favs.
Hi, Viki! This was lovely to write, thank you for the request! 🥰 I hope you enjoy it because these two are just so soft. - This takes place at the end of part 03
Title: The Love After Drabble (03): You're gonna be a mom || Jungkook comes home to a surprise
WC: 3,050
Warning: pregnancy talk, light smut (kissing, breast play)
From: The Love After (werewolf!JK x human!reader)
“Hi, are you busy?”
You lay on your back with your phone on speaker, listening to your sister order what seems to be lunch at 3PM.
“I’m on my first break after 12 hours,” Baram replies, her slurping sound of her drink irritating you, causing you to wince. “And I’ve got 12 more after this.”
“Oh, that’s tough,” you sigh, hoping she gets more time for rest than she’s afforded, but knowing your sister, she thrives off this kind of pressure-packed environment at the town hospital; she excels in it, too. “How’s Hoseok taking it? And the kids?”
“Taking it like a champ, as always.”
You feel her smile over the phone as she talks about her mate, how Hoseok is like a one-man show at the moment, doing everything at home on his own while still showing up for his warrior duties.
“And the kids have been surprisingly behaved. I swear, that treehouse was your best idea yet. We owe Jungkook for building it for us. Thank you,” she continues.
“Well, it showed up in one of the landscaping books he got when he was building our porch. I just thought it might help the kids since you’ve been so busy,” you explain, recalling how you’d brought it up and Jungkook had been excited to build it for his nephews.
“It has,” Baram exclaims. “It’s helping mother, too, in a way. She sits on the porch and just watches them play. I think it keeps her mind off things.”
You hum, knowing that’s how she’s been dealing with your grandfather’s passing - just surrounding herself with people who remind her of him. She visited you just the other day and spent an entire night baking you a variety of pies, something she’s never done before.
“That’s good. At least she knows she’s still got a growing family to turn to now that she’s lost grandfather, too.”
“She knows, she always says so,” Baram says. “Anyway, I’ve got just a bit of time left. Did you need anything?”
“Yes, your help,” you mumble, recalling why you needed your sister in the first place. “I need your expert advice and uh, your support. Or something.”
Her interest is piqued, and you hear her tired voice turn curious. “Okay. Well, the last time you said those same words, you asked me to remove your IUD because you and Jungkook had finally decided you wanted to have children.”
“Yes, that is correct,” you confirm.
“That was a few weeks ago.”
“Also correct,” you hum, thinking back to that time then, when you had Baram’s kids over to babysit and they ran around your garden, their laughter echoing through the woods and you’d caught Jungkook’s tender smile at their sound - at the way they squealed and wandered into your herb and flower patches, at how they plucked out plants and asked him what they were, at how they had so much energy for hours but were the softest pups when they were finally asleep.
You smile at the memory, and how that night, Jungkook asked what you thought about finally having kids, wondered if you both thought you had enough love in you again to create love, and if you were ready after your grandfather’s passing, given the emotional and physical pain that losing him caused you.
But you knew that with the way Jungkook loved you, that you had enough love in you to want to create it with him, that you’re strong enough to handle anything now with him next to you. You knew that with the overwhelming love you had for him, you were ready to give even more of yourself by creating a family together.
You’d called Baram the next day and had her assist you to get off birth control, and Jungkook made love to you that night in a way he never had before, and that’s probably what got you here.
“Okay. So tell me how you’ve been feeling,” Baram bursts through your thoughts, knowing you only ever run to her for medical advice.
“Well, I’ve been feeling quite dizzy and nauseous. My supervisor demanded that I go home right after lunch,” you narrate, and you laugh at Baram’s remark that he probably didn’t want to be the subject of Jungkook’s ire if something bad happened to you under his watch. “And I keep urinating. And I suddenly can’t stand the scent of basil.”
She merely hums in response, and you bite your lip as you wait for her to say something, unsure if you’re nervous because you might be pregnant, or that you may not be. That seems to be the only plausible reason why you’re feeling like this because, like you’re always reminded, werewolves don’t get sick.
“Does your body feel different?”
“Yes, I just told you how I’ve been feeling!” You grunt, getting impatient.
“I know, but I don’t mean that,” she huffs, unable to express what she really means. “Do you feel like something’s going on in your body but you don’t know what it is? Like there’s just something new or different? You’re not a normal human anymore, ___. You can sense the inner workings of your body. I mean, that’s how I knew.”
You're the one who now goes silent, suddenly thinking back to a week ago when you’d woken up feeling disoriented, like your body didn’t feel like yours, as if you were numb but incredibly sensitive at the same time. You recall the moments you’d felt weightless but heavy, and that something was off but you couldn’t determine what it was, and you’d space out as you try hard to feel, to sense if there’s really life that’s growing inside you. Like now.
“Okay, I take that as a yes,” Baram giggles. “Look, I’m thinking you might be pregnant but we won’t be absolutely sure until you take a test. I could come over tomorrow, if you want. Or you could come to me, if you don’t want Jungkook to know yet.”
“You can come over. He’s with Namjoon in the city to meet some other pack leaders and won’t be back until Monday,” you say, suddenly missing your mate after he left early this morning. “I’ll take the test then and uh, see what happens.”
Baram bids you goodbye and leaves you with your thoughts as you mindlessly stroke your belly, the thought of having created a new life with Jungkook making your heart swell with pride.
It’s the first time this ever happened, and you’re glad that Jungkook isn’t even in town, as he would probably hear your gurgling sounds as you vomit your guts out even from a mile away.
You quickly wash up and walk back to the room, yelling to your sister to come in after you’d heard her open the front door.
“Do I look pregnant?” You ask, standing by your bed as you try to read her face, see if she could tell just by looking at you.
“You sound pregnant. Quite the morning sickness, eh?” She smiles, and it’s comforting to think that she knows exactly what you’re feeling, and how to calm you down.
You both get to work, with her handing over the test kit to you and you quickly doing your thing, calling her to the bathroom right after as you both stand by the sink, waiting for the line to appear.
And it does. Two of them.
You feel dazed for a moment, until you feel Baram’s arms wrap around you from behind, but unlike all the times she’s done it before, this feels different.
“You’re gonna be a mom, ___,” she whispers, meeting your glassy eyes in the mirror, with the softest smile you’ve ever seen on her face. “I’m so, so happy for you.”
Your tears fall as you nod, the reality dawning on you that you’ve created something with Jungkook, the manifestation of the love you both nurtured, that you worked hard for, that you let grow and live in you, that you both live out, after thinking you’d never feel that again.
But they’re here, forming inside of you, growing as each day goes by, and you can’t wait for Jungkook to come home so you can share this joy with him.
“How are you going to tell him?” Baram asks.
There are so many ways, you think. You could tell him outright when he gets home, or during a special dinner that you’ll prepare, or before bed as you read a book that he’ll probably ask you to read out loud, or when his hands and lips are all over your body, or after you’ve come down from your highs and he’s looking tenderly at you like he always does.
“I’ve got an idea,” you smile. “I think he’ll really like it.”
Jungkook comes home exhausted.
It takes a lot to tire him. Working and hunting don’t do that, so you could only assume the worst when you’d spotted the fatigue in his eyes and heard the way he dragged his body to the dining chair.
What was meant to be a negotiation escalated into a confrontation, one that turned physical because your allied pack just had to pick a fight with one of the groups they’ve been having issues with, Jungkook narrates, and Namjoon had to pick a side to, ironically, keep the peace.
“And then we encountered a pack of territorial wolves on the way home, and I’d expended much of my energy by then and I’m just so tired,” he exhales. “I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep… couldn’t see you, be with you,” he trails, taking your hand and gently kissing it.
“I just want a warm bath and a good sleep after we clean up,” he continues.
“No, I’ll clean up,” you correct him. “It’s been a tough few days, you need to get some rest. I’ll be fine here, don’t worry.”
He has an apologetic look on his face, and you feel bad that he feels bad for not helping around the house this once. But you convince him that you don’t need his help, and he kisses you deeply before he trudges to the bathroom and gets ready for bed.
He’s asleep by the time you enter the bedroom, and he’s snoring when you return after washing up yourself. You gaze at him as you slide into bed, quelling the bit of disappointment you feel at not being able to tell him tonight. He needs his rest, and that’s more important than giving him the news, even if you know that’s important as well.
His arm immediately pulls you closer once he feels you lie down, and you smile at the thought that it’s something he’d do even if he’s in the middle of a dream.
“Missed you,” he mumbles in your ear, his hand sliding up your bare thigh, sneaking underneath your nightgown, and directing your leg to lay on top of his.
“I missed you, too,” you look at him, marveling at his relaxed state with the sliver of the moonlight dancing on his face.
You peck his lips as a goodnight, and with his eyes closed, he leans in to chase your own, deepening the kiss as he feels your softness, something he hated being without.
He goes for another one, and another one, the kiss getting more heated than the last, and it’s not long until you’re both lost in the taste of each other, his hand burying itself in your hair while yours digs through his bare chest, your heartbeats racing once the yearning and desire creep in, overtaking you.
Jungkook lays you on your back and lightly sits himself on your hips, slowly removing your clothes while his eyes don’t move away from you.
“I thought you’re so tired,” you tease, the playful smile on your face telling him you know what he wants, and it’s something that you want, too.
“Yeah, but not for this,” he grunts, lowering himself to you for another kiss. “Never for this.”
You moan at the feel of his hot breath and his tongue on your neck and your chest, your body shivering once he reaches your pert nipples, the sensitivity quickly becoming too much. His one hand kneads your breast while the other travels down your torso, burning you with his touch, and your mouth parts at how good he feels, until you stop feeling him altogether.
You open your eyes, frustrated with him for abruptly stopping like that, but you’re met with furrowed brows and parted lips, and you can’t help but mirror his look.
“Is… is everything okay?” You stammer.
“Is there… is there something you want to tell me?”
His question catches you off guard and you try to recall if there’s anything you need to tell him, aside from the little secret you’re putting off letting him know because you want him to be more awake when you do.
“I do?”
You see Jungkook steady his breath as he sits back up, prompting you to do the same and lean your back against the bed frame. He touches you again - first your cheek, then your breast, causing you to shiver again, then your belly.
And his hand stays there.
“___… You’re… we’re… we’re pregnant,” he whispers.
Your eyes widen in surprise, thinking of how he could’ve known just by touching you.
“You can sense that?” You exclaim.
“Yeah, I can,” he says, taking your hand.
“Well, your breasts have gotten bigger, and you’re way more sensitive tonight than I recall,” he observes, and your pout causes him to teasingly smile, but it softens right after. “And I could sense a heartbeat,” he palms your belly, gently, lovingly, then he looks up to meet your curious eyes. “Actually, I sense two.”
“We’re having two babies?” You shriek.
You’re a mess of emotions as you realize exactly how all this is playing out, even more at the thought that you’re actually carrying two pups right now.
“We are. Wait, why do you look sad?” Jungkook panics, disappointment creeping in at the thought that you might not actually want this.
“Because this isn’t how I planned on telling you. And I only made one,” you pout.
“How did you plan on telling me? And only made one, what?”
You sigh, knowing that he’s not gonna let this go. You went from being excited to tell him, to accepting that it will have to wait tomorrow, to now being a tiny bit disheartened because you really wanted to surprise him. But it’s out in the open now, and there’s really no other better time than this moment.
You reach for a little package from the drawer of your bedside table and place it in front of him, opening the box to reveal a set of yellow baby mittens that you knitted yourself over the weeked.
“I was gonna show these to you tonight, but you were too tired so I planned on doing it tomorrow,” you explain, “but you had to go and spoil my surprise,” you pout again.
Jungkook doesn’t tear his eyes away from the cutest thing he’d ever seen, and he takes the mittens, so tiny against his large hands, the adorable ribbons adding a touch of elegance to it.
You made this, with so much love, he could tell. It’s beautiful and perfect, just like the little ones you’re carrying in your womb.
“Hey, say something,” you nudge him, suddenly becoming nervous.
“I… I can’t. I’m speechless, ___,” he looks at you, his eyes glassy. “I’m sorry I spoiled it but I just, I felt it and I just wanted to make sure it’s real,” he sighs, a tear finally sliding down his face. “I was wondering when it was gonna happen, and I just… I mean, I’ve been waiting and I’m just so happy.”
His lips quiver and you smile at the sight of Jungkook, bare in heart and body and soul just like you are, as you share the joy of knowing you created love in its best form.
“Well, I did get my IUD removed not long ago and then you pretty much sexed me up like you wanted to put a baby inside me that same night and uh, you did; two, actually,” you laugh, and he revels in your sound, knowing there’ll be two more joining you in just a few months.
“Not a normal human,” he playfully shrugs.
You gaze at Jungkook as he continues to stare at the mittens, as if he’s already imagining the tiny hands that will be warmed by them, and this look of his is priceless.
“I love you, Jungkook,” you say, and it’s what makes him turn to look at you. “I love you so much and I just know we’re going to have an unbelievably happy life with our two angels. I just know it.”
He delicately places the mittens back in the box then sets it aside. He takes you in his arms and cradles you, wanting to express in more ways just how much he loves you, and that he knows you’re going to make his place a home for your children, the way you lovingly did for him.
Because you’re home - you’re the heart of it, the foundation of it, the light of it. You let all the scared and lonely parts of him heal, and even if it took a while, once you were both here, you never failed to show him what love is like, what home is like, what giving what’s left of yourself to another is like, and that’s how he knows you love him.
“I love you so much, ___,” he kisses you deeply. “And I believe we were in the middle of something before I spoiled the surprise.”
His smile is sweet but his eyes are full of desire, and you give in like you do every single time.
Because he’s home - he’s the heart of it, the foundation of it, the light of it. He let all the cold and broken parts of you heal, and you’ll spend every moment of your long life together making sure he knows that, that he feels that - that he’s love, and the most beautiful form of it is what he deserves.
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lolabangtan · 6 hours ago
STAY | 07
You might as well say this is the apocalypse: when a storm and a blackout ravage the city, chaos ensues. But it seems like Jungkook has decided to be kinder than usual as you find your way through your pitch-black flat.
An unintended eavesdropping and an unwanted dream change the way he sees you completely.
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index • previous • next
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Word count: 9k
Warnings: strong language, smut, wet dreams.
# EVEN MORE FLUFF, things get a bit awkward between them ngl, huddling for warmth, dom to sub!Jungkooktag, noona kink, restraints, sexual tension, horny and whiny Koo 😭, coming untouched, I honestly can’t he’s so cute.
A/N: I am NEVER writing a dom-to-sub scene again. The way I cringed, istg.
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“Wow, what nice weather.”
Staring at the dark clouds hovering over the entire city, you let out a whistle of feigned amazement. It’s like all the buildings are being swallowed by a giant, pitch-black maw.
“Yeah, it’s been like that the entire day. They said on the news that it’s a summer squall or something like that.” Jungkook stands in front of you while he munches on a toast, eyes fixed on you as you just revel in the ugly beauty of the sky above you. “They recommended not to go outside.”
You dramatically click your tongue. “Really? Bugger, my jogging plans will have to wait until tomorrow.”
Surprisingly, Jungkook laughs at your comment and turns on his heels to head to the kitchen when the microwave beeps and the delicious smell of popcorn invade the living room. Jungkook opens the micro so loudly it makes you flinch, though.
But you wouldn’t mind having some popcorn now that you think of it.
He was watching a movie when you came out of your room, laptop in hand and looking for a better Wi-fi connection. It works better in Jungkook’s, but it’s smaller – especially the closet – so you’d go there to work on your assignments until he moved in. Now you can’t really ask him if you can work in his room, so you’re getting used to staying in the living room instead.
With the air getting chillier by the second, you rub your bare arms as you sit down on the couch. Jungkook resumes the movie he was watching as soon as he comes back, and the two of you sink into the TV noise-filled silence.
“Oh, I remember that actress!” You raise your head, intrigued when he suddenly speaks. “I think she was in a big show last year.”
Your eyes move to the screen – hm, you can’t recognise her. Maybe she isn’t famous at all.
But you’re quick to return to your laptop, thinking hard and typing harder – you still have a long way to go until you’ve more or less settled with your topic. Honestly, Marketing has never really been your strongest suit, and Professor Kim is as relentless as an iron plank when it comes to shabby essays.
“The music sounds familiar, don’t you think?”
You try not to let out a sigh. “Uh, yeah, I think it sounds like the Indiana Jones theme.”
It takes you a couple of seconds of screen-staring to remember that you were working on your very important and soon-to-be-handed assignment before he interrupted you.
You don’t notice the way Jungkook is looking at you, though; like he’s perfectly aware of how much of a bother he’s being, and with this slight hint of melancholy, missing that sweetness he had witnessed and tasted during the tournament.
Things just… went back to normal once the weekend ended. It’s been a whole week since then, and he misses it. It’s clearly nice when you are nice to him, and now you’re just being cold and indifferent. The usual, he knows, but why can’t you be always like that, smiling at him, saying nice things, even – he’ll admit – patting his head with a grin?
So, he’s figured out that, maybe, he just has to be nice to you first.
“I knew he was the bad guy!” Jungkook suddenly lets out, startling you. “Uh, sorry… But it was so obvious, right—? That he was a double agent.”
Truth is, you’re just as freaked out.
Ever since the tournament came to an end and Jimin and Ari got back together, you’ve been having this weird feeling of guilt towards Jungkook, like you’ve been playing with him. God, the way he was so happy to watch anime with you when you showed up in his room—? The cutest thing you’ve ever seen. You’ve noticed him staring way more often, too, so this is straight-up creeping you out. What the hell is going through that head of his right now? Does he want to be friends all of a sudden?
“Yeah,” you say after a sigh, “as clear as water.”
Are you being sarcastic? With a pout, Jungkook shrinks in his spot on the couch, gripping the control tightly.
Suddenly, thunder roars across the city, and soon you can hear the rain tapping with patient aggressiveness against the windows. You don’t hesitate to get up and walk out into the terrace to see that it is indeed starting to rain.
“As if the day couldn’t get any more depressing,” you mutter to yourself.
Since you’re standing already, you decide to go pour yourself a mug of coffee to fully wake up – it’s getting dark already, but honestly, most of it is thanks to the dark sea of clouds hovering over you; otherwise, being this time of the year, there would still be a bit of sunlight left to walk around without having to turn the lights on.
But then the lights flicker. Just a bit at first, and they do it again after a couple of minutes. That, along with the roaring coming from outside, makes you frown.
You stare down at the screen; there’s only the conclusion left, and you still have the rest of the day to finish it off. Besides, it’s not like you can focus properly on your essay with Jungkook’s incessant barrage of comments and questions, so you shut your laptop and decide to concentrate on your coffee.
The credits finally roll down the screen. Your nose is filled with the salty smell of popcorn since Jungkook has left the empty bowl on the coffee table. Now that you think of it, you have no idea what to make for dinner; noodles make the ‘adult’ in you tingle in frustration.
Well, you’ll think about that later. First, you stretch out on the couch and close your eyes, eager to give them a break in the dark.
“Uh, noona?”
You use all your might not growl as you peel your eyes open. “What?”
“That building over there” – Jungkook points at the building in front of yours with the control – “just lost power.”
“What?” you repeat, this time sitting up to see for yourself.
At this time of the day, most people already have the lights on. Or so does every other building around the block, so it’s pretty weird that one decided to turn off the lights at the same time.
Just as you’re wondering what could’ve happened, the lights flicker again, and thunder ravages the sky.
Everything goes dark in a second.
“Oh, really?” you groan, looking up at the ceiling. “Jungkook—! Don’t move.” Okay, let’s calm down and not panic. “I still can see a bit, so I’ll go and look for some candles. Hand me my phone, please.” You hear him fumble around, but Jungkook can’t find it. “Wasn’t it…? Shit, I can’t find it either— do you have yours with you?”
He shakes his head, even though you can’t see it. “I left mine charging in my room.”
“Where, exactly?”
“On my bed?” he tells you with a tilt of his head.
You spin on your heels, ready to head to his room when you bump into his chest. Jungkook has to catch you before you fall down.
“Uh, be careful,” he murmurs. “It can be dangerous to just walk around like that.”
Somehow, you find your way to his room and grab his phone. Okay, now you have to come back to the living room— as soon as you manage to unlock Jungkook’s phone.
“Why won’t it let me turn the flash on from the lock screen like every other phone in the world?” you cry out, hoping he’ll hear you.
Jungkook replies from afar, “The password— it’s a ‘C’ mixed with an ‘L’. I mean, uh, it’s a pattern, you have to draw a pattern— are you still in my room?” You let out a tired ‘yeah, of course’ before you hear some fumbling, and soon he’s made his way to his own room, bumping into you this time. “Sorry… It’s just— like that. Yeah, okay, let’s find your phone.”
For some reason – that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you can’t see shit and you dread the idea of tripping and falling flat on the floor – you let him guide you hand-in-hand down the corridor. As soon as Jungkook shines the flash onto the table, you spot your phone.
“Okay!” Now that the both of you are well equipped, it’s time to look for some candles – your phones’ batteries are precious now, a scarce good you can’t just go around wasting. “I bought scented candles not too long ago – the flat is gonna smell like those overwhelming perfume shops, you know, those that make you dizzy, but it is what it is— Jungkook, uh, are you listening?” He turns to you like a deer caught in headlights when you aim your phone flash at him. “What’s up? Are you okay?”
“Nothing, it’s just— I don’t deal well with the d-dark.”
You stare at him – or at what you think is his face – in silence and absolute disbelief. The Jeon Jungkook is… afraid of the dark? Even though your body asks you to, you can’t even laugh at that, too amazed at this new piece of information.
However, you do let out a tiny sigh. “Okay, we’ll light some candles around the living room and stay here until the power comes back.”
Jungkook’s doe eyes open even wider under the dim light of the flash, no longer aimed at him, and he stifles a smile, nodding to prove that he agrees with you. Then he starts looking for the candles, which he finds in the drawers of your desk after you give him your permission to rummage through them.
He’s not going to comment on the fact that he also found your bunny vibrator hiding in one of them, though. That’s too personal, and even if he knows you won’t get embarrassed— well, he might.
“Why do you have so many of these?” the boy asks, taking a closer look at them, desperately trying to find something to talk about.
You shrug and take one. “I tried to get into some meditation stuff a while ago. It obviously didn’t work” – he lets out a soft chuckle, and you mimic him out of your sense of self-deprecating humour – “but I kept them anyway, you know, since I already paid them.”
“Sounds reasonable.”
As the two of you sink into a pretty weird silence, you decide to stare down at the candle instead, and something lights up in your head – no pun intended.
“Can you start lighting them? I’m going out for a second.” And you’ve stormed off to the entrance door before Jungkook can even stop you. “Don’t worry! I’ll be right back,” you say when he calls out to you, wondering where you’re off to.
But the storm is as furious as ever, so Jungkook follows you out into the hall; the rain is tapping against the windows, making them tremble as the wind whistles before ravaging against the glass. The floor is wet, probably because of all the poor victims who suddenly found themselves at the ruthless mercy of the storm.
“Noona!” he calls out, finding you ringing at door next to yours.
“Hi!” Your neighbour replies after a short while, murmuring something he doesn’t quite get. “Yeah, it’s pretty awful. I was just wondering— we’ve got some spare candles, so I was thinking that maybe you’d like to have some… Oh, is that it? That’s great, anytime! Take care.”
You go back to your door, where Jungkook is waiting with a deep frown and his phone tightly clutched between his fingers.
“What? We don’t need so many candles.”
Instead, he sighs and closes the door behind him, already going down the stairs. “Let me go with you at least.”
Unless the building gets hit by a bolt of lightning, there’s no reason why he should tag along, but you’re not a fan of thunderstorms either and you don’t have the energy right now to fight with him.
“You brought the keys, right?” you ask with an identical sneer.
As an answer, Jungkook holds out the keychain with a triumphant smile as in ‘do you think I’m stupid? Because I am, but not to the point of forgetting to keep my keys in the middle of a thunderstorm’. Or that’s what it looks like to you.
“Watch your step.” Since the lift isn’t working, the two of you have to go down the stairs to the floor beneath. “Hm, we only have eight spare candles” – which are a lot of spare candles, to begin with, he thinks – “and there still are ten flats left to visit. I guess, younger people will be using their phones or something, so I think we should hand them out to them first – the Lees are pretty old, and there’s an old lady living on the third floor too…”
Jungkook watches you ramble as you go down the steps, tripping from time to time until he realises he should be the one leading you. With his foot moving forward, he gently grabs your arm and hops in front of you.
He decides to break the silence. “How come you know all your neighbours?”
“What do you mean? Of course I do,” you reply as if it was as clear as the sky – not the current one, though. “I’ve been living here for three years already—”
Just as you finish off your sentence, your foot makes contact with an annoyingly misplaced puddle on the step, making you slide on it and fall flat against him. Jungkook trips right after your body literally pushes him forward, and the two of you roll down the stairs amidst groans of pain.
“Fuck— shit—!”
However, you fall on top of something relatively warm instead of the wet, cold floor you were expecting to meet.
“Ah, fuck, hurts!” You sit upon what seems to be Jungkook’s lap while he squirms in pain, not even able to feel his throbbing back. “Shit!”
You let out a chuckle. “Potty mouth.”
He shuts up just to look up at you – his phone, lying on the floor, shoves weak beams of light that light up your face only dimly, so he can barely make your features in the dark. But they’re there, and he knows it, he feels it, your eyes, staring down at him with an amused grin. And suddenly, when your hands move to his chest to get his attention, the warmth of your thighs straddling him get boiling hot on his sides.
“Are you okay?” He’s squirming so much it makes you frown. “Does it hurt? Where?” you ask, pressing your fingers against his ribcage this time. “Here?”
“N-no, it doesn’t hurt,” Jungkook blurts out.
“Think you can stand up?”
As he nods slowly, you get off of him and help him get up from the floor. It makes him flinch and whimper, his back throbbing in pain again, but he refuses to have him checked out, flying from your touch as if you were going to make it hurt even more.
His hands twitch. For some reason, his hands twitch, suddenly cold, colder than ever, empty.
Jungkook bends to retrieve his phone. “Hm, let’s look for the candles. I think they rolled down to the landing downstairs.”
“All right, let’s go!” You rush to his side and grab his arm. The muscles flex instantly, startled by the sudden contact, but you tell yourself it’s because your hands are too cold. “Let’s watch our step for real this time, hm?”
It doesn’t take you longer than ten minutes to hand out candles up and down the building and ask your eldest neighbours to knock if they ever need anything. Jungkook just lets you do your thing, eyes glued to your serious but gentle, concerned expression until you say goodbye under the frame of the last door and start your way up back to your flat.
“That was very kind,” he murmurs.
“What do you mean?” Now that the living room is no longer sunk in the pitch-black darkness, it’s pretty easy to find the bathroom and grab a few towels to dry up. “I’m a kind person.”
Well, not to him.
“Yeah, but… not everybody would go out of their way— I mean, yeah, but it was kind, I guess.”
Again, you blush lightly and shrug it off. “Somebody has to.”
Again, the two of you sink into an awkward silence, and you take a look around the room before heading to flake out on the couch as Jungkook follows you quietly and sits next to you. You let out a yawn, suddenly worn out; this last hour feels like an entire day, now you just want to close your eyes and doze off a bit.
“Shit, it got so cold in just a matter of minutes…” You stretch your arm to get a hold of your phone, brushing in the way against Jungkook’s. “Uh? What are you, a human heater?” you groan, grabbing his arm to feel it. “How can you be so warm? I’m literally freezing.”
He just shrugs it off. “Fast metabolism, I guess? I don’t know.”
His skin felt just as warm when you fell on him earlier. You fidget, suddenly taken aback by your own thoughts.
“You’re probably going to tell me to fuck off,” you blurt out, startling him – talking in the dark suddenly feels overwhelming, “but can we, like, snuggle—? To warm up, I mean! I’m literally freezing, and there’s only one blanket.” Silence. Awkward, nerve-wracking silence. “I understand if you don’t want, though. Let’s just pretend I never said that—”
The two of you fumble like idiots on the couch, not having agreed on a position, until you just grab the blanket to throw it over him and squeeze into the gap between his back and the backrest. Your thighs rest against his hips, tense as well.
Then you pull the blanket to cover him like it’s a baby bib. The fabric tickles his nose, it makes him snuffle through his nose, but he doesn’t dare to take out his arms.
Now that things are a bit quieter, you finally get to let out a breath of exhaustion that hits his cheek; what a day. It feels like you’ve been running a marathon for hours now, your body finally melting into Jungkook’s warmth and starting to relax. It seeps into your muscles, into your drained brain, nourishing and feeding it. It’s pretty ironic that the person that enervates you the most is also the only one who manages to calm you down so easily.
Craving a warmer contact, you tangle your arms around his waist. Wow, it’s tiny. You’d noticed before, any time you saw him wearing a swimsuit, but you had never got the chance to feel for yourself how tiny Jungkook’s waist actually is.
His skin prickles under the fabric of his shirt, going unnoticed.
“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable,” you say against the shell of his ear with a voice so low it makes Jungkook shiver.
This is nice. “Sure, I will…”
Again, it doesn’t take long for the two of you to sink into this eery silence that’s driving you crazy. You’re so close to him, can feel the way his chest rises and falls as he breathes, can hear how he clears his throat every once in a while. These last few months you’ve come so close to Jungkook, the line of hatred you had drawn between him and you is so blurry now. It’s like there’s something pulling you towards him while something else pushes you back.
And if you only knew that Jungkook feels just the same way, that he’s just as confused and afraid and freaked out and torn apart, maybe then— maybe then you’d understand what’s wrong with you.
You don’t open your eyes. “Hm?”
“Can I ask—?” Jungkook cuts himself off before going at it again. “What do you hate about me?”
“Uh, what? What do you mean?” you ask, finally opening your eyes for them to meet his dim-lit features.
“I mean, we don’t get along. Why do you think is that?”
“And why should it be because I hate you?” Where the hell is this coming from? You haven’t bickered the entire day, why is he looking for trouble just now? What you’d give to understand that weird little brain of his. “I’m pretty sure you don’t like me either.”
His nape vibrates against you as he speaks, “You— you can be honest with me, you know. I’m just curious.”
“I guess” – you instinctively tighten your arms around his waist, catching him off guard – “you could say that… I hate it when you get petty with me out of the blue. I’d say anything, and boom—! Suddenly it feels as if I disrespected your ancestors. Sometimes, you know— most of the times I’m only joking, or it isn’t that big of a deal—”
“Maybe what I hate about you is that you think you can just shrug anything off as a joke—”
You snort, cutting him off. “We were talking about what I hate about you! You were the one who asked— shit, see? You make no sense.”
Against all odds, he doesn’t answer; his silence gives you the chance you notice that his shoulders are incredibly tense, that his breathing is quicker than usual, that his reactions are more characteristic of a deer caught in the headlights than a young, healthy man.
“Uh, what?” His voice comes out louder than expected as he jumps, startled by yours.
“I think we’re too tired,” you murmur, “how about you try and get some sleep? We should be getting our power back any time soon. I’ll wake you up.”
“It’s okay,” he replies half-heartedly.
“Shut up,” you cut him off again, cradling him against your chest out of the blue, “and go to sleep.”
Before Jungkook can even find the moment to complain about your patronising babying, you have your nails raking through his hair, gently scratching his scalp. It makes him utter a sound of pure delectation that he’s too embarrassed to describe, and soon you’ve got him practically purring and melting between your arms.
Each of your caresses sends shivers down his spine. They expand all across his body, pooling in his nape, in the pit of his stomach, even reaching his fingertips.
Your other hand is clung tightly to his waist. It’s almost as if you found it fascinatingly tiny and needed constant reassurance that you weren’t just imagining things. But your closeness is soothing, in some way, and so sweet – he’ll bother to feel guilty later.
“Can I ask” – he’s already closed his eyes, breathing regularly, when you speak – “how come you’re so afraid of the dark?”
“I’m not afraid.” The reply blurts out of him pretty quickly, though. “It’s just— I just hate not seeing a thing.”
You nod. “Yeah, that makes sense…”
Soon enough, exhaustion takes over the two of you, forcing you to fall asleep on the couch. It’s warm, warmer than before, at least – and you’re so mentally drained that you’re positive you could fall asleep on a frozen rock on top of the Himalayas right now.
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There’s no coldness surrounding him when Jungkook wakes up. Instead, he’s welcomed by warmth seeping into his limbs and stroking his cheek as he struggles to peel his eyes open. The vine that is one of your arms hugs his waist and secures you against his back, breath fanning his face since you’re resting your chin on his shoulder.
It takes him some time to fully wake up. When did he fall asleep? Why are you two lying on the couch now? What is your hand doing on his head? What time is it?
The living room is still dark, dimly lit by the surviving candles, which means the power isn’t back yet. It must be one or two in the morning, judging by the lack of noise coming from the street. It feels as if he’s been sleeping for a century, but it probably was an hour at most.
You, on the contrary, seem to be enjoying your peaceful slumber in the ninth cloud.
At some point, after you fell asleep, one of you probably succumbed to gravity and dragged the other down onto the couch. Now, if it was weird enough to huddle for warmth, this is straight-up a spooning session, and Jungkook doesn’t really know how to feel about it. For the time being, he’s just not going to think at all and enjoy instead the last minutes of peace he’ll see until you wake up to throw his world into chaos.
As far as he remembers, you’ve never looked so peaceful before; eyes not shut, only fluttered closed while your lips are parted to breathe so quietly he can’t even hear it.
Jungkook has to turn away when his neck begins to cramp.
Maybe he should just sleep it off until power comes back. He’s tired, after all, and the silence reigning over the entire place is no longer eery but rather soothing. There are no thoughts in his head, it’s just empty now.
This is nice.
Jungkook reaches out to grab the blanket, kicked away carelessly on the floor, and cover the two of you with it. His back is boiling hot thanks to your body heat, but his chest and arms feel like they’re freezing, so chilly and damp with cold sweat. That crappy blanket isn’t much, but it’s enough to help him stop shivering.
“Jungkook…” you suddenly groan, startling him, “stop moooving…”
“Noona? A-are you awake?”
This time, though, you don’t answer – you just whine a bit more and fail miserably to turn over to face the couch and run away from Jungkook’s ‘noisy existence’. Instead, you just stir against him, unable to move properly, and resolve to take reality just as it is and cling onto his back for a warmer contact.
Then something hard and thin pokes his stomach, and he finally knows where his phone has been all along.
11:24. You did take a good nap. “Noona, don’t you have to hand in an essay tomorrow morning?”
Your eyes snap open, and Jungkook is torn between finding it amusing and fucking terrifying. But you sit up in a jump, practically crushing him to get off the couch before you rush to grab your laptop.
“We haven’t got our power back yet?” you cry out. “Okay, Y/N, don’t panic. I still have twenty per cent of battery left; that means I can use the laptop for another half an hour. If I do the research with my phone and write the last section and the conclusion in less than fifteen minutes, I still have time to edit it, turn on my phone’s Wi-fi and send it to Kim!”
Jungkook stares at you in silence. Are you really that delusional?
“What?” Hmm, it seems you have noticed his arched eyebrow and his judging look. “You think I can’t do it—? Just watch me.”
That smirk on your face, it’s making him feel something in the pit of his stomach, but he decides to ignore it. The view from the window is obviously much more interesting than your antics.
Well, now, does it work? Yes, technically. But it’s also extremely annoying and distracting, having to switch from your phone to your laptop and not really having enough light to see the keyboard. It’s also harder to do the research since the screen is pretty small in comparison.
For the third time, you drop your phone onto the keyboard, catching Jungkook’s attention with your desperation-filled groan.
“Want me to help?”
You frown, not quite sure. “Uh, what do you know about customer segmentation and the development of social media?”
“I—” Jungkook goes silent for a second. “I’m a customer? And I use social media.”
But it’s kind enough from him to offer his help, and you wouldn’t mind an extra hand or two, a necessary evil to finish your essay in the twenty minutes you have left before your laptop shuts down for sure. So, you scoot to the side and give him room to sit next to you.
Jungkook is quick to catch up with the topic of your assignment. His assistance is working, too, helps you stop hyperventilating every five seconds and burst out in flames of rage every six.
Even if it’s not a hard job, you’re too worked up after spending your freshman and sophomore year listening about Kim’s amazing but hard as fuck courses. She’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she is the moment. The rule is clear: pass one of her classes with a good grade and you’ll have the entire department of Marketing kissing your feet.
And God, wouldn’t that be a sight to behold.
“I was thinking, this paragraph would look better if I changed this one for that one, right?” you ask, pointing at the screen. “What do you think?”
Jungkook stares at it. “Hm, yeah, the sentence in the middle could work as part of the conclusion.”
“Right! That’s a great idea.”
You rush to swap the phrases while he sits back and watches you type like a madman, afraid you’ll lose track of your thoughts and forget the exact way it should sound like. What can you say? You’re a perfectionist.
Once you’re done, you proceed to read it out loud from the beginning, waiting for Jungkook’s approval.
Not that he’s the smartest student out there, but he’s got pretty decent grades despite being part of the swimming club – even though it’s one of the busiest sports teams on campus – and being friends with some of the biggest party animals you know. And, you may add, spending most of his free time killing his own brain cells with his late-night gaming sessions.
“Looking good, huh?”
“I’m sure you’ll get a great grade, noona,” Jungkook replies with a sweet smile.
Something fuzzy stirs in your stomach. “Well, I— we tried, and that’s what matters. Thank you for helping me, really, you didn’t have to— what?”
He’s grinning in the dim light. Not in a mean, rude kind of way, but rather, like he finds something about you cute and funny. Do you have something on your face? Did you drool in your sleep and have failed to notice and wipe it?
Maybe it’s the darkness, you think. Maybe it’s the fact that you can only see the shadow of his reactions and hear his voice like it’s a deep echo. For the first time, you can’t really see each other’s faces as you talk. And that is, perhaps, the reason why you don’t feel the need to protect yourself from his non-existent attacks.
“Why did you let me help you?”
You frown. “I could ask you the same. What on earth do you mean?”
“Even if you’re mean and cold to me” – Jungkook raises his palm to beckon you not to cut him off as you let out a sigh of ‘I knew it’ – “you don’t… take advantage of people. Hell, I know you’d rather fall off a cliff than let me save you. So— why?”
He's kinda right about that, and it makes you think. Why did you barely fight off Jungkook’s proposition? You would’ve refused the help of any of your friends. You like to do things on your own.
“I guess,” you finally reply with a quiet voice, “that I never feel like you’re pitying me. I mean, you’re the last person on earth who would. And I hate it; I hate thinking that I’m so useless and miserable that I need help. Because— let me finish” – this time it’s you the one to raise your hand – “I know they do. I know they look at me and think, ‘poor girl, what she used to be, she’s so sad now.’ I’m just a long-heartbroken stupid girl for them.”
Jungkook tries to reassure you that it’s not the case, but then he remembers: he remembers every single time someone stopped him and let out with a pitying sigh how much you were suffering. And how lucky you were to have him with you now. It would be hypocritical of him to tell you that’s not true.
“I think you’re pretty strong – in your own menacing way,” he murmurs. You let out a cackle at his words. “But I also don’t think your friends pity you. You, I don’t know— you pity a stray cat, or one of those cute Instagram grandparents. But not a friend.”
You turn to him, suddenly agitated. “Then why do they keep looking at me like that? Why are they so fucking sad I’m not the happy, social girl I was anymore?”
“I guess they just feel helpless.”
You want to reply, you’re already parting your lips and trying to come up with something to say, but then the living room lights start flickering back to life, and hundreds of windows pop up in a yellowish light across the streets.
“I think now is the time for you to fix this up and say something mean,” you mutter, squatting down in front of Jungkook. “Come on, let’s not ruin our traditions. I feel awkward as fuck.”
Instead, he just giggles, thinking you’re messing around with him.
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Anyone would think there’s a clumsy robber in your house, or rather, a fucking blind, deaf elephant trying to find a needle in the cupboards. But no, you know it’s Jeon Jungkook stumbling his way across the kitchen in a hungry fit in search of all the snacks he can shove down his throat.
You grab your phone and check the time – half-past two in the morning. Why does he act like he doesn’t have school tomorrow?
With a groan, you bury your face into the pillow.
Now there’s no point in going back to sleep, you’re starving too. But you wouldn’t have noticed that if someone hadn’t woken you up, so it’s technically Jungkook’s fault. He might as well gain all the pounds you’re gonna eat as soon as you get out of bed. Shit, what you’d give to eat some spicy noodles right now. They’re floating above your head, images of steamy, delicious food as they poison your mind with hunger.
The microwave’s horrible beep is the last straw, though, before you jump out of bed and burst out into the living room.
“Jungkook!” you shriek. “Are you doing it on purpose or what?”
He turns away from his noodles-dumpling-chips-and-cheese abomination of a dish to face you. “Noona? What do you mean? I’m just making myself something to eat.”
“And it sounded like you had to build the kitchen too. Don’t you know what time is it? I have class tomorrow.”
“I was not being that noisy.”
“Are you sure about that?” you ask him with an arched brow, crossing your arms, and the microwave starts beeping away at the unnecessary neglection. The sound beats up most of the units of patience you have left.
“If I give you some of my food,” he mutters, “will you stop nagging me like you’re my mum?”
You don’t say anything, going instead to grab some of the dumplings. Jungkook whines and moans that you took way too many, but you’ve already moved on to the noodles.
“Stop! Make your own food—!”
He stops wrestling with you in an attempt to keep you away from his noodles, and his eyes travel down to your lips, where a drop of sauce rests. Jungkook’s first instinct is to wipe it with his thumb, but fortunately, his mind works harder and he just pulls away from you, shoving you far away from the pot.
“A-and you have dipping sauce on your mouth.”
“Is this how you treat the woman who took you in and gave you shelter?” you snort. “You’ll have to pay me back for my kindness in some way.” You then wipe your lip and suck your thumb clean, staring at him. “Either with food or— your body. Come on, pretty boy, you don’t think you’ll stay here for free, huh?”
He groans when you jokingly grab his waist. “I already pay you half the rent.”
“Hm, yeah, but that’s not enough,” you murmur with a dramatically vicious tone as your finger run up his cheeks.
She’s only joking, she’s only joking, Jungkook desperately repeats to himself in his mind. Your finger stroking his face is a joke, your body slowly pinning him against the fridge is a joke.
You’re just playfully messing around with him.
If he were a thousand times more confident and you didn’t horny-scared the shit out of him, Jungkook would probably play along and kneel on the floor or something. That’s what friends do, they play with each other— but not in that way, Jeon Jungkook.
“Chill, man, I’m just joking,” you say then, pulling away from him. “Those dumplings were enough. But tone it down, will you? I need to sleep.”
He nods and watches you walk back into your room, body wiggling like jelly as something has knocked the wind out of him.
Jungkook eats quietly in the kitchen, mindlessly scrolling down every single one of this phone’s apps in search of something to entertain his brain with. Something that is not your face or the dipping sauce on your lips, at least. Nor the warm feeling of your body pressing him against the fridge.
Slurping in the already soggy noodles, he lets out a groan and buries his face in his hands.
It’s not like he’s hungry anymore, and the noodles are cold and taste like shit after staring at the wall for minutes instead of eating them, so Jungkook simply gets up, grabs his phone, and goes back to his room.
Maybe I’ll just listen to some music and play with my phone for a while.
What a day. And he’s got class tomorrow, ugh. When will his freshman year be done? It feels like he’s been a first-year student for a decade now.
Actually, these past few months Jungkook has spent as your flatmate and fake boyfriend passed pretty quickly. In comparison, at least. And as infuriating as it was in the beginning, he can say the two of you have adapted to each other decently. There have even been good times by your side.
He decides to just forget about it and opens a random app.
As music blasts through his ears, Jungkook checks the time on the screen of his phone just to see it’s almost four in the morning.
“Shit—” He takes them off and starts getting ready to go to sleep. “God, I’m so tired…”
Jungkook keeps sulking about his idiot idea of staying up just fooling around with the phone when he hears a soft buzzing sound coming from your room. His alarms set of instantly; are you perhaps making noise late in the night? Huh, how the tables turn…
With his ear to the wall, he’s trying to hear clearly what the hell you’re doing – the next time you have the nerve to tell him he’s cooking late at night, he’ll finally have something to fight back with!
Oh. That sounds like— Uugh!
The buzzing, the rhythmic squeaking, those little sounds that pretty much sound like moaning.
Jungkook jerks away from the wall in an instant, face heating up as he realises what you’re actually doing, unable to stop picturing things in his head. No, no, no. Stop. He doesn’t want to know what position are you in, or if you’re thinking about someone, or if you’re using your— okay, maybe he should stop this right now. Yeah, that’s right, he’ll put his headphones on again, play some sad piano music to go to sleep, and he’s not going to hear a thing.
The picture of you riding the vibrator he found earlier pops up in his head. For some reason, it makes his body shiver, and Jungkook has to turn over on the mattress and bury his face in the pillow to get it out.
He’s practically sunk his earbuds into his ears when Jungkook musters the courage – and mental clarity – to go to sleep.
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“F-fuck, Jungkook, right there! Uugh, you— you feel so good!”
He smirks as he thrusts into you, revelling in your sweet moans and whimpers. With your hands tied to the headboard, you feel tight around him, soaking wet, he can practically feel your walls fluttering around his length.
“Gonna come for me, noona?” he growls against your lips in a ruined kiss. “Huh? My cock feels so fucking good, right?”
You whimper again and tighten your legs around his hips. “Jungkook! Don’t stop, Kookie, s-so good—!”
So, so good—
That’s it, good boy, such a good boy, my good boy.
In the blink of an eye, Jungkook feels like he can’t move his hands. The world seems to be upside down, and now you’re the one straddling his lap and peppering teasing pecks all over his neck and down his chest.
He pulls his hands to no avail; both the slight contact and the inability to move make him shiver – what happened? Why did the tables turn? Shit, you look hot—
“You know” – your breath hits his cheek, but he’s not sure which is hotter right now – “the good thing about being a dumb bunny is that you don’t have to fuck anyone, baby.” Jungkook nods with a stifled whimper, staring up at your eyes as your hand travels down his chest. “I’ll take care of everything, and you’ll be a wonderful fuck-toy and let me use you, stay still, tied up like a good boy while I fuck myself with your cock.”
Fucking hell, you look hot. You’re naked on top of him, hands stroking down his chest and brushing past his nipples. Jungkook stares up at your half-lidded eyes before his focus goes down to your chest and the pair of round, soft breasts that seem to instantly hypnotise him. With your tights straddling his lap, everything about you is urging him to touch and kiss you.
“Do you like them?” you ask, cupping your boobs with a playful smile, knowing he can’t touch them. “I love showing them off, and I know you like them too – you aren’t exactly subtle.”
“I-I’m sorry.”
You bend down to sink your teeth in his neck, sucking the skin into your mouth and making him gasp. “Don’t be, it’s kinda cute that you can’t help staring. Guess you’d love to touch them, but you can’t, baby, not yet.”
“Not yet,” Jungkook parrots, almost spellbound.
His eyes are again fixed on your perked nipples, mind full of thoughts and ideas that send shivers down his spine – wrapping his tongue around them, sucking them while you cradle his head, flicking them and making you gasp. God, Jungkook would die just for you to let him suck on your tits.
You groan as he tries to thrust up, his cock sliding into you and bumping into your cervix. It makes you clench around him.
“Love your eyes, Koo; it’s like you’ve got stars in them,” you purr against his lips.
Jungkook tugs at the ropes again, desperate to writhe and stir on the mattress as much as he wants and needs. His eyes prickle with unshed tears, his blood is bubbling hot. Shit, he’d willingly unhinge his jaw to fit one of your tits in his mouth and have you sit on his face.
His tongue wrapped around your clit, feeling it throb as you get closer to your climax and your thighs flutter around his head, pretty moans coming out of your pretty mouth. Shit, he wants to make you cum so fucking bad.
“F-fuck, noona—”
You chuckle against his lips before biting them. “Potty mouth.”
Suddenly his hands are free, the bounds nowhere to be seen, and his palms fly to your hips to help you bounce up and down his cock.
Jungkook yelps at the feeling of your wet walls clenching around him, but you just chuckle and beckon him to sit up. He fits so nicely between your arms now that you’re pressed against each other, bodies moving and writhing and shivering in pleasure. So intimate, it prickles his skin and makes him scrunch his nose when you attack his neck with hunger as the tip of his cock bottoms out again and again.
“O-oh God!” he cries. “Y/N, please, I can’t—!”
It's building up in the pit of his stomach, burning and overwhelmingly sweet. You look down at him between kisses and tell him in a whisper to let go. It’s okay, there’s no need to hold back.
“Look at you chewing your lip.” Jungkook lets go of his lip instantly, worried it’s making him look silly, but you lean into him to take it between your teeth yourself and kiss him deeply. His soft whimpers drown against your tongue. “My pretty bunny,” you whisper as he catches his breath.
Jungkook is overwhelmed, it’s the only way to describe what he’s feeling – overwhelmed by your sweetness, your care, your bedroom eyes fixed on him, your wet warmth wrapping his whole being. Your lips kiss him so tenderly, would it be weird if he started crying? You’re usually relentless with him, but this time— this time it looks like you want to hold him and make him feel good, looks like you actually like him—
“I-I’m close!” he whimpers suddenly, thrusting up into you. “Noona, n-noona, please!”
You kiss him again. “Come on, baby Koo— come for noona, fill me up.”
Jungkook’s hips are starting to falter as he chases his climax, eyes rolling back. With your lips peppering kisses all across his face and jaw, you watch him whimper and sob, probably overwhelmed, and squirm on the mattress until he goes still for a second, and then you feel him emptying himself inside of you with a loud and whiny moan.
You thrust against him relentlessly, helping him ride out his orgasm as – he’s pretty sure – a dribble of spit trickles down the corner of his mouth. “N-noona! Oh God, uggh, noona!”
Noona, noona—
Your hands all over him, your lips all over him, your skin pressed against his as your body pours itself onto him. Jungkook’s temples are boiling hot, a headache creeping in. It’s like a fever, but if only fevers felt this good— is he screaming? He’s pretty sure he is, his throat feels sore and you’re looking down at him with lust and amusement.
“Noona,” Jungkook calls out in a quiet, meek voice.
You whisper something in his ear that he doesn’t quite make out. But it’s sweet, and mellow, and it makes him scrunch his nose when your breath tickles him and giggle when you kiss it. Your lips then travel down to his lips, and you cup his face before leaning down to kiss him.
He pouts. “Noona~!”
Again, your lips find his earlobe, and you give it a nibble that has his body shivering beneath your fingertips before you part them:
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Jungkook wakes up in a jump, feeling as if a truck has run over him. His heart is beating like crazy in his chest, skin prickled with sweat and agitation. What on earth was he dreaming about just now? There’s a vague image in his head, something that resembles you—
“N-no, no, please—” He takes his blanket off him in a second just to see a wet patch on his crotch. “Fucking shit.”
It can’t be. Jungkook is still asleep and this is all actually a nightmare. Some kind of punishment to teach him a lesson on how to be, uh, a better person or something.
Jungkook really did just have a wet dream about you.
A sudden thought crosses his mind and propels him to panickily get out of bed: what if he made any noises? What if you’re awake and you heard him? WHAT IF HE SAID YOUR NAME OUT LOUD? Oh, man.
Okay, calm down, Jungkook. First things first. He gets up and glares at the wet patch with disgust; he has to get changed and toss it into the washing machine as soon as possible. Or burn it to ashes, that would be better for his mental health right now.
Jungkook takes off his dirty pants and underwear in the blink of an eye and crumples the clothes into a ball. Then he sticks out his head into the living room and spots you making breakfast, earphones plugged into your ears and seemingly unaware of the fact that he just woke up. God, why do you have to walk around the house like that? Really, your bare legs and your perky ass are the last things he needs to see right now—
Can you be any hornier and weirder, Jeon Jungkook? Well, of course you can.
Funnily enough, he doesn’t understand now why it took him so long to realise how much into you he actually is. Like, all right, he did get kind of a crush on you when you first met, but he got quickly over it the second Jungkook noticed your shitty personality. Or so he thought, at least.
“Ah, good morning.” Jungkook freezes on the spot when you speak up. “I made coffee, so, uh, well, it’s here if you want some… You sure slept like a brick last night, though.”
“By the way—” Before he can run away, you slide an arm around his neck and point around you. “See? This is how I wanna find the kitchen when I wake up,” you say in a threateningly sweet voice, fingers gripping his shoulder; “exactly how I left it before I went to bed.”
Jungkook squirms out of your embrace. “S-sorry. Uh, I— gotta go.”
You frown and put your earphones back on as he storms into the bathroom with the dirty clothes clutched against his chest; it’s not like you don’t already know how weird he can be sometimes.
Behind the bathroom door, Jungkook is sitting on the toilet, face buried in his hands. Why does his life have to be so damn difficult? Why did he have to have a wet dream with you out of all people?
The images come back to his head so vividly, touch and sounds included—
“Out! I said, out!”
Maybe he doesn’t know that you’ve taken off your earbuds already and are staring at the bathroom door, wondering what the hell is he doing in there howling and weeping. Should you knock to check on him? He looked fine yesterday before you went to sleep. A bit pissed off at your nagging, but fine overall.
Okay. Jungkook takes a seat on the toilet lid and closes his eyes in search of concentration. Why would I ever dream about having, uh, sex with Y/N-noona? She’s pretty hot, yeah, but she’s also the worst person I know. But she was so kind yesterday… Well, anyone could have an outburst of kindness. But she kept scratching my head until I fell asleep because she felt I was tense? Huh, well, it could’ve also been because she wanted me to shut up!
When he thinks of your face, the only thing he gets is a clutching feeling in his chest, like something is gripping his heart. It leaves him breathless and shivering, unsure and wondering what is that hunger that’s digging into his brain.
Yep, Jungkook is definitely into you, at the very least.
Shit, he wants to cry. Why does he like you? Why did he have to lay his eyes on you, out of all the human beings prowling the earth? Why you, why you, why you—
“Hey, are you gonna finish taking a dump any time soon?” Your voice bursts in from the other side of the door and makes him flinch. “I gotta go and get ready for class— Jungkook, are you listening? Huh, hello!”
“Just wait a damn second!”
Jeez, okay, he hears you grunt as you make your way out, striding away from the door.
Jungkook really wants to die right now.
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Don’t hesitate to like, reblog, and leave some feedback if you liked it! It’s always good and encouraging to know what you think <3
“STAY” is copyright ²⁰²² Lola Bangtan, all rights reserved.
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hamsterclaw · 7 hours ago
Jungkook doesn't think of himself as being overly emotional. Why does everyone keep telling him he wears his heart on his sleeve?
Pairing: Jungkook x F!reader
Rating: 18+
Genre: Non-idol AU, smut, angst
Word count: 5.7k
Warnings: Sexually explicit scenes, explicit language, non-graphic murder investigation and morgue scenes.
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Dear reader, this is the third part of a trilogy set in the same AU. The first part, Rage, features Jimin and the second part, Duplicity, features Yoongi. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Jungkook doesn’t think of himself as being overly emotional.
Sure, he gets a little teary watching Christmas ads, reality talent shows, romantic comedies, and most things he watches on TV.
That doesn’t mean he’s emotional. What’s wrong with being emotional anyway?
Having emotions doesn’t stop him from doing his job.
His partner, Park Jimin, sighs. ‘What’s wrong, JK?’
He’s using his exasperated voice. Jungkook hates it.
‘I’m fine,’ Jungkook insists, tetchy. His new eyebrow piercing itches a little. He reaches up and scratches around it.
Jimin glances at him. ‘Your piercing looks good.’
Jungkook nods, pretending like he’s not thrilled at the compliment. Jimin’s got the best style out of everyone he knows. A compliment from him, especially on his appearance, really means something to Jungkook.
Jimin stretches. ‘I think we’d better call it.’
Jungkook’s glad. He really needs to pee, and sitting here, being still, means his thoughts have wandered to Jura, his most recent ex. He’s still cut up over the breakup. He hadn’t seen it coming. She’d said he was ‘too emotional.’
Jimin’s looking at him again. ‘How are you holding up, JK?’ he asks.
Jungkook wants to tell him the truth but he doesn’t want Jimin to think he’s emotional too. ‘Fine,’ Jungkook says.
Jimin starts the engine. ‘Did you know, I went out for dinner with Yoongi the other day. He told me about this woman he used to love. He saved her life, almost got himself killed. Now she’s married to someone else.’
‘What I’m trying to tell you, Jungkook, is that we all get burned. If it can happen to Min Yoongi, it can happen to all of us.’
Jungkook wants to give Jimin a hug, but he holds himself back.
‘Thanks, hyung,’ he says.
Jimin glances at him in the rearview mirror. ‘I can pull over at the drive thru if you can’t hold it.’
Jungkook starts to protest, but the warning alarms from his bladder are too strong.
‘Thanks,’ he says.
Jimin shakes his head. ‘I told you not to finish all that water,’ he says. There’s no heat in his voice, though, and for that Jungkook is glad.
Jungkook unwraps a mint and pops it into his mouth. He takes a few deep breaths, wanting to load his lungs with fresh air before descending into the depths of his least favourite place in the world.
The morgue.
Attending post-mortems is something that was not advertised when he started training to be a cop. He knows not everyone has to attend post-mortems, but his direct superior, Yoongi, is a stickler for detail, and has a firm belief in getting information firsthand.
Sometimes, Jungkook wishes he could send Yoongi to the morgue.
He blinks away his disloyal thoughts, because he’s worried Yoongi might find out about them somehow and punish him for them. Probably with more trips to the morgue.
Jungkook peers through the porthole in the door and pushes in. As usual, the drop in temperature and the sickeningly sweet smell in the air make him shiver.
You look his way. ‘Oh. It’s vomit boy.’
You’re referring to one time when Jungkook had rather unfortunately vomited on the medical examiner. He’d had eggs for breakfast.
Jungkook bristles, but doesn’t have time to say anything before you step forward and touch his arm.
‘I’m just teasing,’ you say, looking up at him. You hand him an FFP3 mask to replace his surgical mask. ‘Keeps the smell out better,’ you tell him.
Jungkook accepts, slipping the mask onto his face.
‘The medical examiner will be here soon,’ you say.
Jungkook watches as you busy yourself with setting up a number of trays with instruments, plugging in a mean looking saw and logging onto a laptop.
It takes a second for Jungkook to realise you’re speaking to him through your mask. ‘I used to feel sick too,’ you tell him. ‘I never eat before a post-mortem.’
‘The docs have it easy. It’s the techs who have to clean up after.’
You look at him, and Jungkook senses you’re smiling under your mask. You have pretty eyes. They crinkle up at the corners. He wonders what the rest of your face is like.
Jungkook’s trying to think of something to say when the medical examiner arrives. She nods at the tech and at Jungkook briskly.
Jungkook spends the rest of the time breathing through his mouth and concentrating on not being sick.
He’s finally out, trying to remember where he parked his car when he hears someone call out. ‘Hey, vomit boy.’
Jungkook looks at you.
You’re leaning against a pillar at the main entrance of the hospital. Your mask is off, and he can see the rest of your face is as pretty as your eyes. Is that a glint of silver in your nose?
Shit. You’re pretty.
Jungkook reminds himself that he’s pretty too.
‘My name’s Jungkook,’ he tells you.
‘Y/N,’ you say. ‘I’d shake your hand but you probably don’t want to touch me right now.’
Jungkook wants to say he’ll happily touch you but his external filter kicks in just in time to tell him how inappropriate that would be.
‘I’ll make sure the doc emails you the report from today,’ you tell him. You push off the pillar. ‘I’d better get back and clean up. I just needed some air.’
‘Thanks,’ Jungkook says, belatedly. You’re already walking off. He stares at you for a moment before he realises you can probably see him reflected in the glass double doors at the main entrance, gaping at you.
He turns away hurriedly, nearly tripping over. He thinks he can hear you laugh, but he doesn’t dare turn back.
Jungkook’s at the gym near his apartment after work. His trainer cancelled at the last minute, so he’s just going through the motions until he’s done enough time to be able to leave with a clear conscience.
He’s lifting weights when a towel floats down in front of him.
A woman dressed in shorts and a crop top laughs and says, ‘sorry!’, bending over in front of him to pick it up.
Jungkook politely averts his eyes.
He’s doing squats when a steel bottle rolls over, hitting his foot. Jungkook picks it up and looks around for the owner.
The same woman jogs over. ‘God, I’m so clumsy,’ she says, smiling at him breathlessly.
‘It’s ok,’ says Jungkook.
Her eyes rove over his thighs.
Jungkook knows what this is about. She probably wants tips, advice. His thighs have been looking good lately. Even Jura had noticed.
‘I’m Lina,’ she says.
‘Jungkook,’ he replies.
‘Can I –‘
Jungkook doesn’t let her finish her sentence. ‘Sure,’ he says. He takes the phone she hands him, typing the number of his personal trainer.
‘See ya later,’ he says, smiling at her politely as he hands her back the phone.
He glances at the clock. Finally. Time to go home.
It’s a serial killer. Jungkook’s case is heating up.
There’s a recognisable MO, a sickening pattern. He’s suited up at another crime scene, ticking off the similarities in his head.
Victim, woman in her twenties, living alone. Tick.
Brunette, attractive. Tick.
Strangulation with her own scarf. Tick.
He looks at the pair of sneakers by the entryway. They look pristine. Not an outdoors runner. Gym goer?
He makes a mental note to check gym memberships.
Jungkook hates murders. He especially hates murders of young, beautiful women. There’s always a shit-ton of media attention, as though murders of non-attractive people are less worthy of coverage.
He hates the way the media vultures pick through social media profiles of victims, publishing photos that paint the victims a certain way.
Attended a pool party in a barely-there bikini two years ago. Bitch deserved to die.
He hates the misogynistic subtext of it.
Jimin taps his shoulder. ‘We’ve got witness interviews to conduct. I think we’ve seen all we need to see. ‘
Jungkook agrees.
Jungkook interviews a couple of relatives of the latest victim with Jimin.
Because of the pattern of escalation, the medical examiner’s been called in to put a rush on the post-mortem, which is why he’s at the morgue at 2am.
Jungkook’s watching as a half-asleep you shuffles down the corridor to unlock the door to the room.
‘Hey vomit boy,’ you say. You give him a sleepy smile. ‘The medical examiner is half an hour out, why don’t you get yourself a coffee?’
‘Do you drink coffee? I’ll grab you a cup,’ Jungkook offers.
You look surprised by his offer. ‘Oh sure, that’s kind of you,’ you say.
When Jungkook gets back, coffees in hand, you’re moving the body onto the steel trolley. You’ve got half of the body on, and are struggling with the rest of it when Jungkook asks, tentatively, ‘need a hand?’
‘Don’t worry,’ you say, waving him away. ‘I know it makes you feel sick.’
‘I don’t mind the beginning. I don’t like the stomach contents bit,’ Jungkook admits. He doffs his coat and helps you with the transfer.
He watches as you go through your usual routine of preparing instruments and logging on.
When you’re done, you take the coffee he passes you.
‘Thanks for your help,’ you say.
Jungkook’s glad his strength is good for something. ‘I work out,’ he says. He'd meant it to be matter of fact, but he sounds a little cocky.
You smile up at him, tolerantly. ‘You look like you do,’ you say.
Jungkook resists the urge to flex.
He’s been good-looking all his life. He knows how to toe the line between cocky and douchey. Doesn’t he?
‘Do you have a lot of piercings?’ you ask. It seems an innocent enough question, and you look up at him like you’re genuinely interested in the answer.
‘Only above the shoulders,’ Jungkook says. He’s been asked this before. He doesn’t want anyone expecting his dick to be pierced when he gets naked with them, and being disappointed that it isn’t.
You nod, finishing off your coffee and tossing the cup in the trash.
Jungkook straightens up as the medical examiner arrives. She nods in greeting, and gets started, without further preamble.
2am has a way of cutting out the bullshit.
Jungkook’s stopped by the supermarket on Saturday morning – he’s resisted shopping because it reminds him of shopping with Jura, but there’s only so long he can subsist on ramen.
He’s deciding between a breakfast cereal that he likes and one that’s actually good for him when he hears a deep voice he’d know anywhere.
He looks up to see Min fucking Yoongi pushing a shopping cart, accompanied by a gorgeous woman and a young child.
Yoongi raises an eyebrow in greeting when he sees him. ‘Hey, Jungkook.’
‘Hey, Yoongi,’ Jungkook returns. He smiles at the woman and the young girl.
‘Which cereal do you want, Mara?’ Yoongi asks.
Mara points to the cereal Jungkook wanted. ‘That one.’
Jungkook picks up a box and passes it to her. ‘I like that one too,’ he says.
‘I like the marshmallows,’ offers Mara.
‘You only have it sometimes, not every day,’ the woman says, like Jungkook would judge her parenting.
Jungkook watches as the woman slides her arm around Yoongi’s waist and he leans into her. The ease they have with each other, the affectionate smile on Yoongi’s face, makes Jungkook feel warm inside.
Then he remembers he’s single and his last serious relationship was a year ago.
Jungkook has to get out of here before he cries over his boss and his beautiful family.
‘I’ve got to go. See you later, Yoongi, Mrs Min,’ he says quickly.
He’s already walking away when the woman says, ‘oh, I’m not Mrs Min.’
Quick as a flash, Yoongi asks, ‘Would you like to be?’
Damn. Min Yoongi is smooth as fuck. Jungkook files this line away for future reference.
You’re getting slammed.
This much Jungkook can tell. There’s been another spate of murders, but staff shortages have put extra strain on the state hospital where you work.
You look exhausted as you clean the steel trolley and bundle up the used instruments to send off for sterilising.
Jungkook’s waiting for a final tox screen result to come through that you’ve promised him will take you minutes to validate and release.
You type something rapidly into the computer as you pass it.
‘Not back yet, vomit boy,’ you announce. ‘Looks like the lab are overrun too. I can call you with the result if you want? As soon as it comes through?’
Jungkook looks up from the report he’s writing as he waits. He’s loath to add any more to your workload.
‘I’ll call you in half an hour,’ he says.
‘Sure,’ you reply, trying to twist the top off the sterile water.
Jungkook takes the bottle off you and turns the cap, easily. He hands it back to you. ‘Here’s my number. You can call me directly if you want.’
You smile at him distractedly. ‘Sure thing, vomit boy. I’ll call you.’
Jungkook puts a hand on your shoulder. ‘Stop calling me that,’ he says. It comes out more whiny than he intended.
Your eyes fly up to his. ‘Sorry.’
‘I’m going to have to call you morgue girl,’ he warns.
You look at him again, and he sees a spark of mischief in your eyes. ‘Whatever floats your boat,’ you say.
Jungkook laughs. He turns to leave, strutting a little because he knows you’re watching.
Jimin’s in front of the whiteboard in their shared office.
Jungkook frowns over the squiggle of lines he’s drawn.
They’re trying to find a link between the four women who’ve been strangled. The problem is, there are almost too many links. They didn’t work together, but they lived within a few miles of each other. Two went to the same launderette, and three have got receipts from the same coffee shop.
Jungkook remembers his thoughts about the gym.
He shuffles through bank statements, recent transactions.
Damn. Three women were members of the same gym, but there’s no evidence of the fourth woman ever visiting that gym.
He leans back, huffing out a breath in disappointment.
Jimin’s watching him. ‘What was your thought, JK?’
‘I was wondering about gym memberships,’ Jungkook says. ‘They all had sneakers, in good condition.’
‘It’s not a bad thought,’ Jimin says. He looks thoughtful. ‘Strangulation fits with someone who’s confident in their own strength.’
Jungkook gets up, pacing around the room. ‘He’s escalating.’
They’re both aware of the time pressure on them. Every minute they spend not solving the case is a minute closer to the next victim.
Jimin says, ‘Let’s check out the gym they went to.’
Jungkook’s phone rings as he’s in the car. He glances at Jimin and puts it on speakerphone.
‘Hey, vomit boy? That tox screen you were chasing is all negative. Sorry it took so long.’
Jimin laughs.
‘You’re on speaker, my partner Jimin’s in the car,’ Jungkook says, quickly.
‘Guess we’ll save the dirty talk for later then. I gotta go,’ you say.
You’ve hung up before he can reply.
Unbelievably, Jimin’s still laughing. If he weren’t strapped in with a seatbelt Jungkook would be worried about him falling out.
‘Vomit boy!’ chortles Jimin, and now Jungkook’s considering pushing him out of the car.
‘I met her at the morgue. Her name’s Y/N,’ Jungkook says.
‘Sounds like you made an impression,’ Jimin says. He’s stopped laughing, but his eyes are still twinkly with mirth.
‘She’s nice to me,’ Jungkook says.
Jimin side-eyes him. ‘She’s got a sexy voice.’
Jungkook tries to ignore the little flare of jealousy he feels. He’s got no doubt Jimin would make a good impression on you. He’s pretty sure Jimin wouldn’t vomit in front of you, for starters.
He presses his lips together, because he doesn’t want Jimin to tease him.
‘What kind of dirty talk?’ wonders Jimin, out loud.
‘Shut up,’ Jungkook says. It’s childish, but effective.
For the rest of their journey, Jimin doesn't say anything, but somehow the way he laughs quietly to himself is even more annoying.
Jungkook and Jimin are sitting in the manager’s office.
Jungkook is a member of this gym too, but he hasn’t been to this branch. The manager leans forward, hands clasped in front of him.
‘We’re investigating a run of murders, we’re here to get more information on a few of your members,’ Jungkook explains.
The manager, Tim, according to the name plate pinned to his light blue polo, looks at Jimin’s badge.
‘Happy to help,’ he says.
As Jimin starts on the questions, Jungkook looks around the room. Pinned to the wall is a loud poster with a purple background. As if that weren’t grating enough, the writing is block capitals, bright pink. Jungkook counts six exclamation marks before the content hits him.
‘You’ve just started a promotion, haven’t you?’ he asks Tim. ‘Pay as you go membership with access to classes?’ Jungkook points at the poster.
‘Do you have a list of people who’ve signed up recently for pay as you go?’ he asks.
Jimin scans the list. He looks up at Jungkook, and Jungkook knows he’s found something.
Fuck. Finally, a breakthrough.
Jungkook, Jimin and Yoongi are at the bar down the road from the precinct.
Yoongi tips his beer to Jungkook.
‘That’s solid investigative work,’ he tells him, and Jungkook nods, proudly.
The four women were frequent attenders of a Bikram yoga class at that particular branch of the gym. One of the yoga instructors had caught Jungkook’s attention, a wiry looking man who’d quickly exited the building when he spotted Jungkook and Jimin.
A search of the man’s flat had uncovered a number of macabre souvenirs, and the details of his next target.
They hadn’t saved four unfortunate women, but he hopes their families are able to get some closure from this.
It’s why he became a cop.
Jungkook’s staring at the bar, thinking about you, when someone who looks very much like the real you approaches him.
‘Hey,’ you say.
Jungkook swallows. You’re not wearing a mask, your hair is loose around your shoulders, and fuck. The loose top you’re wearing dips low enough that he can see the swell of your breasts.
Jungkook forces his eyes back to your face.
You don’t seem to mind.
He realises he hasn’t said anything. ‘Hey,’ he says.
‘Buy me a drink?’ you ask, smiling at him.
Jungkook’s up on his feet. He’ll fight everyone at the bar to get you whatever you want, if he has to.
Yoongi nudges Jimin as Jungkook and you walk away.
‘Kid wears his heart on his sleeve.’
Jimin nods. ‘It’s what I love about him,’ he says.
Yoongi snorts. ‘What a fucking team.’
Jimin laughs. ‘We’re a fucking great team, Yoongi.’
He’s right, and Yoongi knows it.
Jungkook’s three beers in and you’re still next to him. He likes how this is going.
You press into his side. Jungkook stays very still, because he’s just realised that your breasts are against his forearm.
Are you drunk? He fervently hopes not.
‘Shit,’ you say regretfully. ‘I’m on call from midnight. I should go.’
‘I’ll take you home,’ Jungkook volunteers. He knows that although one serial killer is off the streets tonight, there are still plenty of creeps out there.
And you’re so pretty. Jungkook shudders at the idea of anything happening to you. ‘I’ll take you home,’ he says again.
You look at him. ‘Sure, vomit boy. If I get called in I’ll have to leave though and you’ll have to let yourself out in the morning.’
Jungkook hadn’t got as far as assuming he’d spend the night, but there’s no way he’s going to argue with you.
‘Sure,’ he says, hoping he sounds casual.
He looks around for Jimin and Yoongi as he heads to the entrance of the bar, you on his arm.
Jimin gives him an encouraging wave, and Yoongi raises an eyebrow at him.
The night air is cool, refreshing after the warmth of the bar.
‘I live down the road,’ you say.
Jungkook falls into step beside you. You haven’t let go of his arm. Your hair gleams in the muted light from the streetlamps.
Jungkook looks around curiously as you unlock the front door of a nondescript terraced house.
‘This is me,’ you say. ‘Want to come in?’
Jungkook nods. You hang up your coats in the narrow entryway and you click the lights on.
Your house is lovely, cosy and warm. There’s a print of cherry blossoms hanging above the mantel in your living room.
‘Hot chocolate?’ you call from what he assumes is the kitchen. ‘Ramyeon?’
Jungkook thinks he might just fall in love with you right then and there.
He watches as you heat up water for your noodles and stir milk into cocoa for your hot chocolate.
When you produce a tiny pack of marshmallows, Jungkook could kiss you.
You put on a movie while you eat, a classic romcom that Jungkook’s always wanted to watch.
Jungkook keeps sneaking glances at you as you watch the movie, until finally, you say, ‘what are you looking at, vomit boy?’
Jimin’s right. Your voice is sexy.
Jungkook reaches out and thumbs a smudge of hot chocolate off the corner of your mouth.
You’re looking at him, and your lips are slightly pouted. You look like you’re waiting to be kissed.
So he does.
You’re soft, so soft. Jungkook licks into your mouth, tasting the sweetness of hot chocolate, the faint salt of ramyeon, and underneath it, the taste of you.
You’re delicious. Jungkook realises you’re now on your back, pressed against the edge of your couch. He’s practically on top of you.
He shifts a little, not wanting to squash you under his weight, and you murmur and pull him tighter.
‘I want you,’ you say.
Jungkook wants you too.
‘Want to come to bed?’ you ask.
‘Yes,’ Jungkook says. ‘God, yes.’
Jungkook’s under the covers with you. It’s warm, like a cocoon. Your scent is everywhere, he’s delirious with it.
He kisses down your neck, enjoying the way you arch back and clasp him to you.
Your hands are purposeful, running down his bare chest. He thinks you like the look of him, you’d stared as he took off his shirt.
Your thumbs flick over his nipples, and Jungkook lets out an involuntary whine.
You like that. You do it again, and Jungkook nips at your shoulder.
Your hands are steadily heading further south, and Jungkook holds his breath as they finally reach the waistband of his briefs.
Then your hand is palming him over his briefs. You’re teasing him.
‘You can touch me,’ he tells you, just in case you don’t already know.
You laugh, and he loves the sound of it.
‘Can I taste you?’ you ask. The question and your voice as you ask it are so sexy it takes Jungkook a moment to reply.
‘Yes,’ he says.
You push him onto his back. His cock smacks you in the face as you pull his briefs down, but you don’t mind.
He can’t see you clearly under the darkness of the covers but he can feel you.
God, he can feel you.
‘You sound so pretty,’ you say. It’s a little muffled but he can hear you.
How are you talking around his cock?
Jungkook grunts as you suck him in. Your tongue licks firmly up his shaft. You’re wet, you’re warm and Jungkook has no idea how he’s going to survive this.
He cards his fingers through your hair. ‘Come ride me,’ he pleads.
He tugs the covers off so you can sit up.
He helps you pull your top over your head, eyes hungrily drinking in your lacy bra. Your lingerie doesn’t match, but he likes that. He likes the cream lace over your tits and the black mesh over your pussy.
You reach behind you to unhook your bra, and Jungkook stops thinking about your lingerie.
He’s transfixed by the silver barbells glinting in your nipples.
He remembers you asking him about his piercings. Shit! Why hadn’t he returned the question?
You’re watching him, and you look amused. ‘Good?’ you ask.
‘Beautiful,’ Jungkook replies. He pushes himself up and looks up at your face before latching on to your nipple. The metal is cool against his tongue, a stark contrast to the warmth of you.
You moan, and it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever heard.
Your pussy is so wet he can feel you through your underwear, on his abs.
‘Off,’ he says, hooking a finger into your panties. He cups one of your breasts in his hand, tongue flicking at your nipple, and you moan again.
You lunge for your bedside table and come back with a condom between your teeth.
You turn around, legs either side of him as you unroll it onto his length.
Jungkook busies himself licking up into your pussy until you’re done.
Then you’re turning around to face him, lowering yourself onto his cock, and Jungkook groans when he’s fully seated in you.
Christ, what a view.
He cups your ass, helping you ride him, although it doesn’t seem like you need help. Your thighs flex, and you’re so wet he can feel you over his balls, his groin, everywhere.
You’re grinding against his pelvis, and Jungkook loves the feel of it. ‘You feel so good,’ he tells you.
You smirk at him. ‘You do too, vomit boy.’
‘That’s it,’ Jungkook groans, torn between arousal and exasperation. He clasps you to him with one hand, and turns you both over so you’re flat on the bed.
You gasp, clutching him to you, your breasts pressed against his chest.
Jungkook starts plunging into you in earnest, punctuating each word with a thrust, to get his point across.
‘Stop. Calling. Me. Vomit. Boy.’
‘Fuck, I’m cumming,’ you cry, and Jungkook growls as he fucks into you.
You’re crying out, keening, and Jungkook lets it wash over him as he snaps his hips against your pelvis, letting the pleasure build.
‘Fuck, fuck, fuck,’ he says, dropping his head, burying his face in your neck as he cums, hips jerking, spurting into you.
You’re breathless, but you want the last word. ‘That was fucking hot, vomit boy.’
Jungkook laughs into your neck, but he hasn’t got the energy to do anything other than pull you closer.
You curl your arm around him and kiss him on the forehead. Jungkook likes that.
‘Keep doing that,’ he murmurs sleepily, closing his eyes.
You don’t answer, but you keep kissing him, soft little kisses on his face until he falls asleep.
Jungkook wakes and realises you’re not in bed with him.
He peers through the darkness. ‘Y/N?’
‘Ah, sorry,’ you say. Your voice is husky, beautiful. ‘I’ve been called in. I’ve got to go to work.’
‘What time is it?’ Jungkook asks.
‘It’s five am. Go back to sleep. The front door locks itself, you can let yourself out when you wake up.’
Jungkook sits up. ‘How are you going to get to the hospital?’ he asks.
His eyes are adjusting, he can see you’re wearing sneakers, leggings, a crop top, a hoodie unzipped over it.
‘Stop staring at my tits,’ you say. ‘I was going to jog in. It won’t take long.’
‘I’ll go with you,’ Jungkook says. He’s already up, looking around for his clothes.
‘It’s five am,’ you protest.
‘Exactly,’ Jungkook replies.
He runs a hand over his chest, trying to wake up.
You’re not even trying to hide that you’re staring at him.
‘Stop staring at my tits,’ Jungkook says.
Your laughter makes him feel warm. ‘Sorry, baby.’
Baby. Jungkook thinks about this as he pees and gets dressed.
You stop him at the bottom of the stairs.
‘Wait. Let me just –‘
You don’t finish your sentence, instead leaning in to kiss him.
‘You’re a fucking dreamboat, Jungkook.’
Jungkook likes the way this morning is going so far. Baby. Dreamboat. He loves your choice of affectionate nicknames. Even vomit boy doesn’t sound so bad when it’s coming from you.
Jungkook’s walking you to the morgue when he realises there’s already someone there, waiting.
Shit. It’s Kim Sung Ho. He’s another detective and a class A prick. He has some sort of chip on his shoulder about Jimin getting promoted before him even though they started at the same time.
Jungkook doesn’t want him anywhere near you.
He can feel Sung Ho’s eyes on him. ‘I didn’t realise they’d called you in, Jeon.’
‘They didn’t,’ Jungkook says, clipped.
‘Detective Kim,’ you say. ‘I just need to get set up, will you give me twenty minutes?’
Sung Ho is blatantly eyeballing your ass as you walk in to the cold room and switch on the lights.
‘Come on, let’s get a coffee,’ Jungkook says.
‘Americano, black,’ says Sung Ho, not taking his eyes off you.
Jungkook pushes into him, a little harder than necessary. ‘Come on, let’s go,’ he says.
He leads Sung Ho out of the room. He catches your eye as he turns to leave, and you mouth a ‘thank you’ at him.
Jungkook’s pleased he was able to help.
Jungkook’s stopped by the morgue to surprise you. He’s got the day off tomorrow, Yoongi muttered something about Jungkook getting his hair cut before he left today.
Jungkook likes his hair. He doesn’t think it gets in the way of him doing his job. He’s worried about what Yoongi might do, though.
Thoughts of Yoongi flee his mind when he sees your face.
You’re sniffling, eyes swollen from crying.
‘What’s happened?’ asks Jungkook. He eyes the bottle of sake on your desk, the two empty mugs.
‘Nothing,’ you say.
‘Was it that prick Sung Ho?’ Jungkook asks. He’s ready to tear him limb from limb. He’ll get Jimin to give him a hand.
‘No, no, it was no one.’ You wipe at your face with a tissue. ‘It’s just this job. We did a post-mortem on a teenager today. Fuck! People are so shitty.’
Jungkook drops into the seat in front of your desk.
Oh. It’s about the shittiness of the world. He understands that. He’s a cop after all.
‘Yeah,’ he says. He pours out more sake.
‘People die in such terrible ways,’ you say. ‘No one deserves this.’
Jungkook’s quiet. ‘Yeah,’ he agrees.
He watches you swirl your sake around before gulping it down.
‘Come on,’ he says gently. ‘I’ll take you home.’
He curls an arm around you as you walk together through the car park. You lean your head on his shoulder, and he likes that.
Jungkook takes you to his apartment. He’s about to get you a drink when your hand curls on his arm.
‘Jungkook,’ you say.
Jungkook looks down at your pretty face, your pouted lips.
‘Yeah?’ he asks. He’s already leaning down so you can reach his lips. He lets you pull him onto the couch. He spreads his legs so he can pull you into his lap.
You let out soft sounds as he kisses you. You’re already grinding your hips against his, needy, moaning.
Jungkook slips his hand under the lace band of your panties, and you cry out against his mouth.
God, you’re so wet, so wet, pussy tightening around his fingers as he strokes your clit.
Your warm hand closes around his cock, and Jungkook’s undoing his trousers, pushing them down to give you better access.
You’re lining him up against you, movements quick, urgent.
Jungkook gasps as you take him in. Fuck, he’s not going to last. Not with you like this, riding his cock, gasping, whining.
He lifts your top, closes his lips over your nipple, and sucks. Your cries get louder.
‘Like that?’ he asks, bucking his hips up into you, suckling at your tit.
The way you moan his name, his real name, as you cum all over him is all the answer he needs.
Jungkook cums so hard he feels like he’s ascended to a higher plane of existence.
As he comes back down, he realises you’re half asleep, face pressed against his chest.
‘Let’s get you to bed,’ he says.
You crack an eye open. ‘Hold me?’ you ask, sleepy.
Jungkook lays you down in his bed, stroking your hair until your breathing is even and the line that’s been between your brows all day smooths out.
Jungkook steps into his apartment with two coffees and a bunch of daffodils he picked up from the florist next to the coffee shop.
You’re still in bed. He’s watching you sleep. He’s only just realised how stalkerish that is when you stir, and he doesn’t have time to pretend to be doing anything else before you open your eyes.
‘Hey, vomit boy,’ you say. You smile at him.
‘Hey,’ Jungkook says. He lifts the flowers up.
He watches your eyes go from the flowers to the coffees, back to his face.
You sit up and pull him to you. You brush his hair back off his forehead and kiss him.
‘You’re a real soft boy, Jungkook.’
Jungkook’s worried, but you don’t give him time to worry about it for long.
‘How can you be the same man who made me cum my brains out last night?’
You’re running your hand down his chest, over his abs, down the trail of hair leading to his dick, which is already at half-mast anticipating your touch.
‘Come here and fuck my face,’ you say.
Jungkook’s happy to oblige.
Jungkook slips into a seat at the back of the room.
‘Nice of you to join us, Detective Jeon,’ Yoongi drawls.
Jimin throws him a sympathetic look.
After the briefing, Jimin nudges him.
‘How are things going with your girl?’ he asks.
Jungkook can’t stop the smile spreading across his face.
‘She’s great, hyung,’ he says, dreamily.
Jimin smiles at him affectionately. ‘Good. Actually, I can tell it’s going well. You’re easy to read, JK.’
Jungkook’s worried again. Is this a reference to him being too emotional?
As if reading his mind, Jimin shakes his head. ‘You’re fine, Jungkook. There’s nothing wrong with having feelings.’
Yoongi snorts from behind them.
Jungkook waits to hear what he has to say.
Yoongi looks at him steadily. ‘You’re not so needy that you need me to tell you you’re a damn good detective, do you? That your emotional intelligence is an asset, not a hindrance?’
‘No,’ Jungkook says, warmth blooming in his chest.
‘Good. Go get your damn hair cut,’ Yoongi says.
©hamsterclaw 2022
47 notes · View notes
jeonfrvr · an hour ago
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summary: in which one drunken night turns into weeks of silent pining and petty jealousy until you and jungkook finally realise what’s been in front of you both this entire time pairing: jungkook x reader genre: angst, smut, fluff | best friends to lovers, fwb warnings: alcohol consumption, drug use (weed, only once), explicit smut- specifics in the chapters, the main characters are so stupid and oblivious it makes me want to pull my hair out
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i'm not yours and you're not mine- the words you repeat to yourself as you stare at his dreaming face.
he didn't use to stay after you'd finish your planned arrangements, usually leaving as soon as he cleaned you up.
but what you'll soon come to realise is that you're familiar to jungkook. constantly on his mind, wether he likes it or not. so now that he's dropping off coffee for you and sleeping in your bed after sex, you have to remind yourself why every part of this is a bad idea.
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chapter directory.
chapter one - the mistake
it's the first party of the year; you waste the night away, drinking and dancing just like you've always done. except this time, you end up drunkenly hooking up with your best friend.
22 notes · View notes
bangtanficsforyou · an hour ago
Lost- Series Masterlist
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Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Au: Underground boxer! Jungkook, Coach’s daughter! OC
Genre: angst, smut and fluff.
Warnings: mentioned in each chapter.
Rating: 18+
Summary: Jungkook doesn’t know much about you provided for the fact that you’re his coach’s daughter. But soon, he develops a dislike towards you.
Word Count: 1.4K words (so far).
A/N: This is going to be a drabble series!
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Chapter One
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16 notes · View notes
kpopfanfictrash · 25 days ago
A Holiday Snowdown (M)
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Author: @kpopfanfictrash as part of the Happy Ho-lidays collab with @floralseokjin , @suga-kookiemonster , @sugaurora , @underthejoon, @winetae​ and @btssavedmylifeblr​
Pairing: Jungkook / Reader (female)
Genre:  Enemies to Lovers / Ski Resort!AU / Snowboarder!AU
Word Count: 36,333
Rating/Warnings: 18+ for sexual content. Fingering, oral (female receiving), hand job, mutual masturbation, breast play, some face riding, dirty talk, orgasm denial, clit smacking (is there a non plural form of this?), cum shot on chest
Mentions of past death (does not occur during story). Ankle injury (non-graphic). Yoongi is an enthusiastic MC. Bam is adorable. Jungkook has both lip and eyebrow piercing
Summary:  The Inn on the Hill is in trouble. Or that's what your boss, Namjoon, says during the last-minute All Staff holiday meeting he calls. You need money, and you need money fast, or his parents are planning to sell the resort. When no one can think of an easy solution, Namjoon proposes his parents' idea: a weeklong social media blitz with a celebrity guest. The celebrity? None other than Jungkook Jeon himself: two-time Olympic gold medalist, world-class snowboarder and the nation's sweetheart. What's the problem? You happen to have met Jungkook Jeon before, and sincerely hoped you'd never see him again.
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Friday, December 19th 12:49 PM
“You don’t want to do that.”
Fingers freezing above the door handle, the words slowly sink into your muddled mind.
Uncertain, you turn towards the disembodied voice. Bodied voice, you correct yourself. Breath frosting in midair, you squint at whoever has the audacity to keep you from entering your house.
“Who’s there?”
A soft voice laughs, followed by said person stepping into the porch light. Blinking once more, you conclude you must be drunk.
Well, yes. Very drunk, based on the curling nausea and six Moscow mules you had at the bar. The fact that this guy looks like two people is simply further confirmation of the fact.
Lifting a hand, you shield your gaze from the porch light. Odd. You thought the light burnt out the night prior – oh, well. Maybe your friend and roommate, Taehyung decided to fix it.
“Why shouldn’t I go in my own house?” you demand, although it comes out more like, “Why shoul’n I go’n m’house?”
Both the guy’s heads turn towards the door.
“Because that’s not your house. Unless you’re a new roommate of my friend, Yugyeom… which I highly doubt.”
A beat passes before you turn and realize the door’s a sickly teal color. Not the gray-brown of your split-level.
“Oh,” you say dully, unable to think of a response. “Right, then. I’m going to go.”
Swiveling around, you nearly trip over the first step of the porch and fall.
Reacting quickly, the stranger lunges forward to grab your arm. “Whoa,” he says, keeping you upright. “Careful.”
Hazily, you glance up and notice how close he is. His face wavers, nothing more than a blur but for some reason, you think that he’s handsome. Something about his height and his voice scream attractive face. The stranger also happens to smell of peppermint.
You love peppermint.
Still, this is very embarrassing, and he’s still holding you tightly.
“Unhand me,” you say, stepping backwards – somehow, you manage to keep your balance.
The guy’s upper lip quirks.
“Alright, m’lady,” he says, releasing you with a bow.
You nod, attempt to stride past and nearly trip again. “Okay – never mind,” you blurt, grabbing the rail. “Hand me.”
A quick, surprised laugh escapes him. Stepping near, he grips your forearm but keeps himself carefully separate. You would find this endearing if you didn’t feel as though you were about to hurl.
“Ugh,” you moan, turning around. “What was in those mules?”
“Ginger beer. Vodka. Oh, wait – you’re not being literal, are you?”
“No.” Shakily, you exhale. “Gonna barf.”
“Fuck. Okay. Let’s get you off this porch, then,” he says. “Bambam just painted it.”
Many questions arise at this – does this guy know a lot about home improvements in the area? was the ugly door color chosen on purpose? – but all this is overshadowed by the sudden urge to vomit. Keeping your lips pressed together tightly, you concentrate solely on making it down the steps.
“Where do you live?” the guy prompts.
Trying to be subtle, you glance at your companion. Which means – drunk you swings her head sideways in a gigantic arc. The guy is still holding your arm, painstakingly helping you down the front steps.
“18 Ribalt Ave.” As soon as you say this, you freeze. “Unless you’re a murderer. In which case, I live uh – there.”
You point in the general direction of a dumpster and the guy starts to laugh. He has a nice laugh, you think, and the peppermint smell cuts through some of the nausea. Your stomach roils once in protest, then falls completely silent.
“Not a murderer,” he answers. “And you’re in luck – 18 Ribalt Ave is literally two houses down, so you were close.”
Obviously, I was, you say to yourself. I’m super smart.
“I’m sure you are.”
Startled, you glance up. “I… said that out loud?”
The guy’s lips twitch again. “Not if you didn’t want to.”
“Oh, good. Then – no, I didn’t”
The two of you walk a bit more, and upon reaching the sidewalk, you start to turn left. Gently, he steers you in the opposite direction. A couple of steps later, your ankle wobbles and his grip on you tightens. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re realizing this night could have gone in a very bad direction.
When you left for the bar, you didn’t intend to get this drunk. Well, maybe that’s not true. You did text your best friend, Leslie, that you planned on blacking out so hard, you forgot all about the dismal Christmas waiting at home.
“What’s so dismal about it?”
Startled, you realize you’ve spoken out loud again.
Your drunk savior waits for an answer and whatever filter you normally have while sober has completely disappeared. This is a big University, and if the two of you haven’t run into each other before, what are the chances of running into him after?
It’s the type of logic only a drunk person would find convincing.
“Nothing, really,” you hear yourself saying. “I’m just… not looking forward to reentering the pit of despair. That’s what I’ve been calling my house since my dad died. It’ll be my first Christmas without him and just… yeah.” Exhaling roughly, you watch your breath frost in the air. “I know my mom will be sad.”
Your stranger is silent, long enough for you to wonder if you’ve spoken out loud. Maybe your drunkenness has reached an unforeseen level where your inside thoughts are out loud and your outside ones, inside.
“Won’t you be sad, though?”
Startled, you wobble again and his grip on you tightens.
“I guess,” you say after a moment. “But… I don’t know. When my dad was alive, he created a buffer, you know? My mom and I don’t always get along, but he knew just what to say to cut the tension.”
Hearing what you said, you clamp your jaw shut. Sometimes when you drink, your filter disappears, and all the years of repressed emotion comes pouring out.
Snow crunches beneath your feet, so you concentrate on that. Shivering slightly, you wish you’d worn a coat to protect against the air’s frigid bite. The constellations above are blurry, resulting in double and you think they might be more beautiful than reality.
“Did your dad laugh a lot?”
“Yeah.” Still staring upwards, your lips twist. “All the time. If I’d made that pit of despair joke last Christmas, he would’ve quoted Miracle Max, or something.”
“Get back, witch!”
“I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!” you say, automatic. Surprised, you glance over at your blurry savior. “You can quote The Princess Bride?”
His smile widens, distracting you for a moment.
“Of course,” he says. “That must be hard, though. Losing your quote buddy.” After a moment, he lowers his head to groan. “Ah, I’m sorry. That was supposed to be supportive, but it just sounded stupid.”
Oddly enough, you find yourself smiling.
“No – not stupid,” you say quietly. “You’re right. It was – well, is – hard.”
Silence falls, not as awkward as before. You continue walking and all too soon, a familiar house rises from its surroundings. You recognize the discount Frosty the Snowman (for legal reasons, named “Icy”) standing on the front lawn, holding a sign asking for people to remove shoes before entering. The sign was supposed to be cute, but drunk college kids broke the end of Icy’s broom and as a result, he looks kind of threatening.
Excitedly, you point at the door. “That’s my place.”
Your stranger double-checks the number. “Looks like it.”
“Rude,” you mutter, lowering your arm. “I know where I live.”
A pause follows, as though your drunken savior doesn’t want to contradict you. The silence makes your lips twitch.
“I’m just kidding,” you say, slapping him once on the chest. Shit – that’s firm. “I know, I’m kindaaa drunk.”
“Sure. In the same way Rudolph kindaaa saved Christmas.”
Your smile widens. “That was nerdy. Are you nerdy, Christmas ghost?”
He bursts out laughing, and for a moment the world freezes. You’re still drunk, so everything seems kind of blurry – except for his laugh. You think you might remember that laugh on your deathbed. You hope you remember it sober.
“Christmas ghost.” Although he’s no longer laughing, the guy still sounds amused. “Is that what I am?”
“You have a halo,” you say, pointing at his head. The streetlights behind him create the drunken effect. “A drunk halo. Ha-ha.”
“You know that’s an angel, right?” he asks, also smiling.
“Yeah. And… well, you asked me if I was sad.”
Now he’s quiet, and you wonder what your Christmas ghost is thinking. You also wonder what he looks like – maybe if you squint harder, you’ll be suddenly un-drunk and the world will come together.
You squint at him – emphatically – and nothing happens.
“Don’t do that,” he says, noticing your expression. “You’ll pop an eye vessel. Has…” He hesitates. “Has no one asked you if you’re sad yet?”
He sounds genuinely curious, and you suppose you can’t blame him.
Lamely, you shrug. “I don’t think most people know how to talk about it. Not many people our age have lost a parent. I get a lot of ‘I’m sorry.’ A lot of ‘he’s in a better place.’ I don’t know,” you say, your voice cracking a little. “I kind of think being with us was a better place.”
Fuck it, you’re going to cry.
Abruptly, you turn around to stare at your house. Taehyung must’ve fallen asleep with the holiday lights on – no matter how much you scold him, he does it every time you go out. Now though, it helps because you have something to look at while you dry your tears.
“I’m sorry,” you sniffle, then laugh. “Fuck. Now I’m the one apologizing.”
“Don’t apologize,” he says quickly. “I – I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m not good with words, and I don’t want to say the wrong thing. Not like all those other people.”
Turning, you give Christmas ghost a watery smile.
“I doubt whatever you said would be the worst thing,” you say. “My aunt told me to stop crying at the funeral so we could take a photo. I bet your thing was better than that.”
“Holy shit.” He sounds vaguely horrified. “Okay, yeah. My thing wasn’t that bad.”
“Or another time,” you say, this topic of conversation making you oddly chipper, “a professor asked, ‘at what point I’d be done grieving’ so I could take the midterm.”
“I… what the fuck.”
Christmas ghost sounds angry, which makes you smile. You’re imagining a tall, dark-haired Christmas angel swinging his fists in your honor and for a moment, you nearly forget the reason you’re sad. Of course, this makes you remember all over again, and the humor slowly fades.
It was longer than last time, at least.
The two of you stand there another moment, and again, you wish you were sober. Well, no you don’t. The alcohol numbs the pain and, although you try not to make it a habit, sometimes it’s easier to forget. Alcohol helps with the forgetting.
“What were you going to say?” you ask, tilting your head.
He hesitates. “I was going to say… I’ve never lost a parent, so I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through, but anyone who raised a daughter cool enough to quote Miracle Max sounds like an awesome guy. I’m sorry you’re sad. If it wouldn’t be totally creepy of me to offer help, I’d –”
“You already did,” you say softly.
He stops, and the two of you stand facing one another again. Long enough for your lips to tremble, this time from the cold.
“Well,” you say, using your sleeve as a tissue. “I guess I’d better go, Christmas ghost.”
He softly laughs. “Is that what I’m going to be from now on?”
Shrugging, you turn away from his smile – strange, how the whole night is blurred except for that – and begin walking up the sidewalk.
“Yeah!” you call, not turning around. “I think you will be.”
“As you wish!”
You can’t help but laugh at the Princess Bride quote, unlocking your door. Stamping your feet to get warm, you hurry inside and find Taehyung seated in the kitchen, books spread before him. His finals aren’t over until tomorrow, with psychology taking the dreaded Friday afternoon slot.
When he sees you, he exclaims and jumps to his feet. Through chattering teeth, you tell him about your Christmas ghost and Taehyung’s expression brightens (“I’m not drunk, you idiot! Let me see him!”) Giggling, the two of you return to the front porch –
And find the yard empty. Nothing but swirling snow, streetlights, and the drunken yelling of two kids down the street singing, All I Want for Christmas is You.
Your Christmas ghost, whoever he was, has disappeared.
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Friday, December 17th 11:04 AM
Ever since you were little, you’ve always had a nervous tic. In grade school, it was biting your fingernails. Once your mom bought anti-bite polish, you switched to leg-jiggling. Then, after a particularly embarrassing final exam when the TA asked if you had to pee no less than five times, you switched to pen-tapping.
The habit has held ever since.
Tap-tap-tap. Tap-tap-tap. Tap-tap tap tap-tap.
“Y/N.” Namjoon swivels to face you at the head of the table. “Please stop tapping Jingle Bells. I’m going to jingle burst a blood vessel up here.”
Immediately, your pen ceases and you sink in your seat. Across the table, Hoseok – the Inn’s sous chef – gives you a sympathetic look.
“Stop picking on Y/N,” Hoseok scolds, turning to Namjoon. “Just because the ski lodge is about to go belly-up doesn’t mean you need to take it out on us.”
Exhaling roughly, Namjoon rubs at his temples. Honestly, you get it since it’s exactly how you feel. As the general manager for the Inn on the Hill, you’ve been trying and failing all year to increase sales. The fact that Namjoon is here at all is mostly your fault.
The Inn on the Hill is a tiny ski resort nestled in the Rocky Mountains, largely overshadowed by the bigger, fancier commercial resorts up the road. It seems travelers, once they land at the airport, only have the appetite to travel in a one-hour radius. Driving the two hours to reach your lodge means people don’t book despite the Inn’s superior ski slopes and views.
Namjoon’s parents have owned the Inn since he was a child, but they also own several other properties scattered over the globe. Currently, they’re in the Caribbean taking care of a different crisis, so Namjoon is here to lend his expertise. It’s a test of his leadership as much as your own, so you understand why he’s testy. If things don’t turn around soon, everyone here will be out of a job.
Twirling his pen, Jimin clears his throat. “What if,” he says, squinting up at the screen, “we did a children’s Olympics? Races and fake medals and all that fun, family stuff?”
Trying not to smile, you glance at the table.
As the Inn’s children’s coordinator, nearly all Jimin’s ideas involve more kids on the premises. Although you love children – and family ski trips provide most of your income – you don’t love the mess they tend to leave behind.
Neither does Yoongi, based on his expression. Min Yoongi is the hotel’s concierge and if he had things his way, Namjoon would make the resort eighteen and up. That’s not to say Yoongi doesn’t like kids – he loves them – but Yoongi has a very specific vision for the Inn which doesn’t involve sticky lollipops.
“Right,” Namjoon says slowly. “Except we already did a children’s week last winter and it didn’t go so well. Remember the Zhangs?”
Jimin’s smile fades. “Oh. Right.”
Across the table, Seokjin mouths, who are the Zhangs? and you furtively shake your head. Seokjin joined the Inn at the start of the season as your snowboarding instructor, so he wasn’t here for last winter’s debacle.
Nothing gets past Namjoon though and, upon seeing Seokjin’s face, he exhales.
“The Zhangs,” Namjoon clarifies, and Jimin slumps in his seat, “were a very influential family who intended to stay at the Inn but left after only three days because their son got lost for five hours during the winter scavenger hunt.”
Jimin winces. “He should have followed the map!” he complains. “Everything was clearly marked, and parents were supposed to go with their kids, but –”
“It wasn’t your fault, Jimin,” Namjoon says gently, butting in. “The Zhangs messed up, but they gave us a terrible review and made sales plummet for a month. I think we should try and steer clear of kids' events for a bit longer.”
Nodding, Jimin sits back and Namjoon’s gaze travels the table.
“Any other ideas?” he prods. “Anyone else?”
When his gaze lingers on you, you shrug.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” you sigh. “There’s the winter festival in town, but we’re already promoting that in our marketing. We could try another round of feel-good posts on Instagram? It’s hard to do social media though, with Jisoo being fired, and all.”
“Jisoo wasn’t fired,” Namjoon corrects. “She was let go.”
Yoongi lifts a brow. “Isn’t that the same thing?”
“There’s a difference,” Namjoon insists. “One implies they were released with cause. We didn’t want to fire Jisoo, but there’s no room in the budget and Y/N minored in graphic design…”
“Yeah.” You grimace. “With straight C’s.”
“Regardless,” says Namjoon. “We need new ideas, and we need them now.”
The table falls silent, with everyone purposefully avoiding eye contact with Namjoon. The projector behind him flickers and dies, plunging the All-Staff room into darkness. You find this oddly fitting, considering the circumstances.
“I have an idea,” Seokjin offers.
Reaching out, Namjoon flicks on the light. “I swear to God,” he warns. “If you say Boys Gone Wild one more time…”
“Why not?” Seokjin bangs a fist on the table. “It was an incredibly lucrative franchise for years. And now, we have the chance to let women in on the fun!”
Most of the table laughs except Yoongi, who doesn’t seem to be listening. Seokjin has been proposing Boys Gone Wild once a week since his arrival and it’s yet to catch on.
Namjoon looks at the ceiling. “Pass. Alright – if there aren’t any other legitimate ideas, I’m going to have to go with my parents’ proposal.”
This catches your interest, and your pen stills in your hand. Namjoon would typically run prospective projects past you before the All-Staff meeting. The fact that he didn’t doesn’t bode well.
“What’s your parents’ idea?”
Namjoon doesn’t look your way. “It’s a promotion that had good success at their Hawaiian resort. You remember the one – so far off the beaten path, no one wanted to go. Until, of course, Timothée Chalamet vacationed there.”
Jimin’s eyes go wide. “Timothée Chalamet is coming here?”
Immediately, Yoongi closes his laptop. “I’m ready,” he declares. “We just got these new sheets which I swear, feel like you’re floating in the womb.”
“Ew.” Hoseok looks repulsed.
Namjoon blinks, unsure how to respond. “Uh, no. Not Timothée Chalamet – he’s way out of budget. I’m thinking of another celebrity,” he explains. “Someone who you’d expect to see at a ski resort. Someone who’d entice other skiers and snowboarders to visit.”
Taking all this in, you nod. Everything Namjoon says is making sense, which leads you to wonder what he could be hiding. There must be something if he didn’t tell you beforehand. Maybe it’s the cost.
“It’s a good idea,” you say. “Even a lower-level celebrity will be expensive, though. Are your parents willing to chip in that kind of money?”
Namjoon nods, still not meeting your gaze. “Yeah. This lodge has sentimental value for them, so they’re willing to pay. In fact,” he says brightly, “they already have someone in mind.”
“Oh, really?” you ask. “Who?”
In the corner of your eye, Hoseok exchanges a quick look with Yoongi. Jimin has become suspiciously silent, staring out the window and Seokjin, normally disruptive, has nothing to add. Perhaps this should have clued you in, but Namjoon has never given you a reason not to trust him before.
“Um.” Namjoon shuffles his papers. “I don’t want to say.”
Immediately, your eyes narrow. “Why not?”
“Because.” Namjoon sighs, looking up. “It’s Jungkook Jeon.”
Your vision goes momentarily white.
Jungkook Jeon. The name alone is enough to make your fists clench. Jungkook is a professional snowboarder – no, he’s the professional snowboarder. Gold medal champion in the last two winter Olympics and national heartthrob.
He also attended your university and broke your friend’s heart in the process.
It was junior year when Leslie dated Jungkook for three months – barely a blip in the grand scheme of things, but long by college standards. Around Thanksgiving, Leslie mentioned seeing someone new but was coy on details. You found out why after New Year’s when she named the guy as Jungkook, ridiculously talented snowboarder, and future Olympian.
Obviously, Leslie was excited but cagey about people meeting him – including you. Jungkook was private and didn’t like people making a big deal out of who he was. You could understand, so you didn’t press the issue and the first time you two met was mid-January. It was your dorm formal, and without a boyfriend, you decided to take Taehyung as your date. Leslie brought Jungkook and you all went for dinner before.
You were the first one to arrive at the restaurant. Taehyung was running late, working a double shift at the college bookstore before it closed. Leslie came straight from her theater troupe. You, being you, arrived five minutes early. Seated at the table, you jiggled your leg until the bells above the door rang.
Glancing up, you locked eyes with Jungkook.
Your first thought was holy shit, he’s attractive. Obviously, you’d known this – Jungkook both is and was extremely handsome. With dark, messy hair and a sharp jaw, Jungkook could’ve been booking modeling gigs instead of snowboarding.
So, it wasn’t strange that you froze when you saw him – the strange thing was Jungkook also froze.
He stood framed in the doorway, snow whirling behind him. Jungkook stared long enough for the hostess to speak, which was when he jerked to life and shut the door.
You slowly sat at the table, unaware that you’d risen. This was Leslie’s boyfriend, you reminded yourself as Jungkook approached. By the time he reached your table, you’d managed to plaster a smile on your face.
“Hi,” you said brightly, sticking out your hand. “I’m Y/N, Leslie’s friend.”
Jungkook stared, glancing down as something wordless crossed his expression. You continued to hold out your hand, feeling more and more silly. Just as you began to pull away, he came to his senses.
“Jungkook,” he said, grasping your hand in his. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”
You shook, then sat down at the table. The two of you weren’t alone for long, since Leslie arrived quickly thereafter but you couldn’t shake the feeling you’d missing out on something. Maybe food had been stuck in your teeth, and Jungkook was too polite to say. Taehyung called your hair a mess later that night, so maybe that was it.
Either way, you met Jungkook in January and a month later, he broke up with Leslie. It came as something of a shock, since you’d hung out with them several times and they always seemed good together. Jungkook was quiet but funny, and Leslie was the life of the party. When she stormed into your house and declared their relationship over, you were stunned.
And when she said the reason why – well.
Leslie’s exact words were, “I walked in on him fucking someone else, so I guess we’re done.” Leslie was upset, but she put on a brave face and tried to move on. Apparently, Jungkook thought they weren’t exclusive – despite having introduced Leslie as his girlfriend the month prior. Leslie was devastated but started going out with a basketball player the next month, and that was that.
You’d seen behind the mask, though and knew how crushed Leslie was. The two of you bonded over it, promising never to date one another’s exes. Especially not slimeball cheaters like Jungkook.
It’s been a long time since then and you and Leslie are no longer as close, but the sentiment stands. Jungkook is a terrible person and working with him would go against everything you stand for.
A fact Namjoon knows, given you’ve spent each Olympics since cursing the screen each time his name is mentioned. Jungkook Jeon is a dick; this is a well-documented fact. It’s something everyone else at the table knows as well, based on how few are willing to meet your gaze.
“Absolutely not,” you declare.
Namjoon exhales. “Y/N –”
“No,” you blurt, half-standing from the table. “Why can’t we get someone else? There must be some other washed-up snowboarder looking for publicity. Or a skier!” you add. “I hear skiing is coming back in style. Pick someone else, Namjoon. Anyone else.”
Although Namjoon’s expression looks pained, he refuses to budge.
“I can’t, Y/N,” he sighs. “My parents know the Jeons, which is how we’re able to get him at such a low price. And Jungkook is like, ridiculously famous. There’s no way we’d be able to find someone as good for so little money.”
Helpless, you glance around the table. “Come on – is everyone else really okay with this?”
Jimin gives a small shrug. “Maybe it’ll be okay, Y/N,” he says, trying to make the best of the situation. “If Namjoon’s parents approve of Jungkook, maybe he’s not that bad?”
“Oh, he’s that bad,” you respond. “He just hides his Satan horns during the day. They’re nearly invisible beneath his man-bun.”
Hoseok snorts. “Isn’t that all we care about, though? We just need this guy to appear nice long enough to save our asses. It’s only for a weekend, Y/N.”
Namjoon holds up a finger. “A week, actually,” he corrects. “Jungkook arrives tomorrow afternoon and is staying until after Christmas. It’ll be a week-long publicity event.”
Incensed, your head swivels his way. “Tomorrow? That seems awfully soon for a project we’re voting on now.”
Shifting his weight, Namjoon seems embarrassed. “I… may have already told my parents we’d do it.”
“You what?”
Before you can commit bodily harm against your boss, Seokjin cuts in.
“Is this really our only option?” he asks Namjoon.
Glumly, Namjoon nods. “Yeah, it is. That’s why I started this meeting with a brainstorming session. If anyone can think of a better idea” – he looks pointedly at you – “then I’ll call the Jungkook thing off, and we’ll go with that. If not, though…”
He trails off, leaving the implication hanging.
Silently, you seethe because objectively, you know Namjoon is right. You don’t want to be objective, though. You want to be bitter because Namjoon, a boss you’ve always admired, has made an important decision without your input. Worse, he made the decision specifically knowing you’d vote against it.
Surprisingly, Yoongi is the one who speaks next. “We all know Jungkook sucks,” he says, looking at you. “But if I had to choose between going out of business and working with someone I don’t like, I’d pick the latter.”
Yoongi has a point, but you can’t help wanting to make a final stand.
“Is it worth compromising our morals, though?” you challenge. “The Inn on the Hill has always been a family-run, independent ski lodge. A boutique experience, standing apart from the amoral, corporate resorts. Won’t hiring someone like Jungkook go against that?”
Namjoon and Seokjin exchange a look.
“Tell them,” Seokjin says lowly.
Jimin’s eyes narrow. “Tell us what?”
Namjoon adjusts his tie. “Even though it contradicts our philosophy, it might be worth it.” He pauses, a lone muscle in his jaw ticking. “My parents said if revenue doesn’t pick up by the end of the season, they’re planning to sell by this time next year.”
A weight falls over the room, stifling further objection.
Dejected, you reseat yourself at the table. This changes things. Namjoon and Yoongi are right; hiring Jungkook is a better alternative to going out of business, no matter how abhorrent the concept of working with him might be.
“Alright, fine,” you say at last. “I know it’s a moot point for me to say so, but I’m in. Don’t expect me to be nice to him, though.”
You expect Namjoon to crack a smile and so, when he doesn’t, you feel your stomach sink further.
“About that,” Namjoon says. “With Jisoo gone, we’ll need someone to follow Jungkook around for social media.”
He looks meaningfully at you.
“What about Jimin?” you suggest, panic rising. “He’s such a good people person.”
“Jimin has to coordinate all the children’s stuff,” Namjoon points out. “And besides, he’s a terrible photographer.”
“It’s true,” Yoongi says.
“Still,” Jimin huffs, pouting a little.
“What about Yoongi?” you say, growing desperate. “Shouldn’t our concierge be the one to take care of high-profile guests?”
“As much as I’d love to follow a prima donna snowboarder around the lodge,” Yoongi deadpans. “We just let go of Sayed yesterday, so I’m the only one working the front desk.”
Check, and mate. Recognizing defeat, you slump in your seat.
“Shit,” you mutter.
“And before you ask me,” Seokjin pipes in. “Someone has to man the mountain.”
“And cook,” adds Hoseok.
Namjoon continues staring in your direction.
“Alright, fine.” You throw up your hands. “I’ll do it. I’ll baby-sit the big man-baby. But don’t expect me to like it! And don’t expect my feelings about him to change.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” says Namjoon, clearly relieved you’ve agreed.
“And when this is all over and we’re profitable again, I expect a raise.”
“A big one,” he agrees.
Resigned, you shake your head. “I can’t wait for this week to be done.”
“Before that, it has to begin,” Namjoon says helpfully. “So, let’s start planning the week-long itinerary. I’m thinking bright, I’m thinking festive, I’m thinking –”
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“Someone ate Christmas and threw it back up,” you breathe, staring at the main lodge.
Tonja, the Inn’s interior decorator, has truly outdone herself. Holiday décor has been steadily appearing over the past weeks, but last night she put on the finishing touches and today, well – a winter wonderland.
Plush, cozy chairs are pushed around a roaring fireplace, draped with white throws she assured you were imitation fur. Fake snow dusts the mantle, and garland has been draped, hung, or placed across all available surfaces. Everything surrounds a gigantic evergreen which nearly scrapes the ceiling.
It’s what people traveling for the holidays expect, and therefore worth every penny sent to Tonja’s bank account. Lifting your clipboard, you check off review decorations. Satisfied, you resume the Inn’s inspection and immediately slip.
Catching yourself, you glance down in alarm. The snow mats you ordered are nowhere to be found, and your expression shifts into a scowl.
“Where are the snow mats?” you call as you turn.
No one answers, either too busy or being one of the guests. A nearby couple glances up from their snowshoes; you offer them an apologetic smile before hustling away. Yoongi is checking in a large party at the counter.
Realizing he has no time to get mats, you exhale and set your clipboard down on the counter.
Jungkook is scheduled to arrive in fifteen minutes, and you’re supposed to be the one greeting him. Having your guest of honor slip on wet floor and fracture a gold medal-winning ankle sounds like a terrible first impression.
Leaving the lobby, you head for the supply closet. Tugging open its door, you bang your knee on a mop and – swearing – hop around it to locate the mats. Lugging a box down the hall, you place them as neatly as possible before the main entrance.
Stepping away, you take a photo for Namjoon. You’re returning your phone to your pocket when you glance up and realize the tree’s star is crooked.
It wasn’t obvious from where you stood before but from here, the error is clear as day.
Swearing again, you check the front desk and find Yoongi’s still busy. Another look at your watch says you have five minutes to go before Jungkook’s arrival.
You blame your dad for your can-do attitude.
After your birth, your parents kept trying, but a second child just wasn’t in the cards. Your dad made up for it by joking you had the energy of three children, anyways – always ensuring you felt you were enough. Everything was possible, and nothing was ever off the table. After he died, you were the one who took care of your mom and now, at the Inn, you do the same.
Retreating to the supply closet, you grab the stepladder and return to the lobby. Kicking open its frame, you place this before the tree and start to climb. Halfway up the ladder, you begin to regret your decision. While you’re more than capable of fixing an ornament, you’re currently wearing heels. It makes everything more difficult and when your foot slips, you recoil and cling to the rungs.
A moment passes while you slow your racing heartbeat, and then you grip the rungs tighter and continue to climb. On the next step, you make the mistake of looking down.
“Oh, fuck,” you mutter.
You’re not exactly scared of heights, but neither do you enjoy them. Especially not while balancing precariously on ladders while wearing pumps.
There’s nothing to do but continue and so, gritting your teeth, you force yourself to climb. Reaching the top, you exhale and lean over, adjusting the star.
With the hard part complete, you begin your descent.
Two steps down from the top, your foot slips and this time the ladder tilts with you. Gasping, you attempt to rebalance and feel the heel of your shoe break.
Jolted downward, you’re thrown off-balance so quickly, you let go of the ladder. In hindsight, this was a poor decision. For a moment you flail, reaching out and then you’re falling, air rushing past you. Stomach plummeting, you scream and –
“I’ve got you!”
Squeezing your eyes shut, you prepare to hit ground and instead, feel your fall broken by a warm body.
In the movies, the guy catches the girl and easily cradles her against his chest. He’s barely winded, the girl’s hair stays perfect and romantic music ensues.
What actually happens is you hit the guy’s outstretched arms, and the momentum is enough for you both to crumple. You land sprawled across his chest, hard enough to knock the breath from your lungs.
Once you’re able to breathe, you open your eyes. Forcing yourself to move, you wince at the dull pain in your side. For a moment, you think your savior is Namjoon, but no – this guy is slightly shorter, dressed in a dark puffer jacket and face mask.
Stomach sinking, you still. Carefully, you scan his frame and notice the Olympic logo emblazoned on his jacket. Immediately, your eyes snap upwards.
“Jungkook?” you squeak, sincerely hoping you’re wrong.
Propping himself up on one elbow, the guy reaches upward to tug on his face mask. Your heart sinks as Jungkook Jeon is revealed.
He’s cut his hair, you realize.
During the last winter Olympics, headlines were made, and fan blogs devoted to the rumpled man-bun Jungkook was sporting. Now he’s shorn his hair close, styled up top to look ridiculously attractive. He also has an eyebrow piercing. And a lip piercing. Those were certainly never visible during general programming.
Realizing you’re staring, you blink and Jungkook looks on with amusement. This is enough to snap you back to reality.
Glancing down, you realize your legs are still intertwined. Cringing, you extricate yourself and push yourself to your feet. Your right hip aches, and one of your heels has snapped off, but you attempt to greet Jungkook as naturally as possible.
“Hi,” you say, sticking out a hand. “I’m Y/N, general manager of the Inn on the Hill. Welcome to our property, and I’m so sorry about the entrance. Are you okay? Do you need me to get ice, or a medic or anything?”
Jungkook continues to stare at you from the ground.
“I – uh. Y/N. Right. Are you okay?” he asks, incredulous. “You just… fell off that ladder.”
Wincing, you look up and immediately spot the problem. You were in such a rush to fix the tree, you forgot to lock the base of the ladder. No wonder it wobbled when you lost your balance.
“I’m fine,” you say, forcing a smile. “Thanks for catching me. Can I help you up?”
Realizing he’s still on the floor, Jungkook pushes himself to stand and ignores your hand. Dusting off his pants, he quickly scans the lodge. You watch Jungkook take it in, so busy staring at him that at first, you don’t react when something licks your palm.
“Ah!” you yelp, whirling to find yourself face to face with – a dog.
“Whoops – sorry,” Jungkook blurts. “That’s my dog, Bam. Bam – here.”
With a final glance at you, the dog obediently trots to sit at Jungkook’s feet. His tail continues to wag, head cocked to one side with interest. Reaching down, Jungkook scratches behind the dog’s ears and he happily whines.
“It’s okay that he’s here, right?” Jungkook pauses, looking up. “Namjoon’s parents said it would be fine, that you have dogs stay all the time.”
That’s definitely not true, but you keep your smile in place. Possibly Namjoon’s parents confused your resort with another, or maybe they’re trying to make their VIP guest happy.
“Of course,” you say. “We can definitely make accommodations for – Bam, right?”
Bam barks in approval.
You glance down in surprise, and Jungkook laughs.
“Sorry,” he says, reaching to pet Bam again. “I thought it’d be funny to teach him that, and Bam took to it a little too well.”
You’re about to smile when you remember who Jungkook is and clamp your lips shut. This is all part of Jungkook’s act, you remind yourself. Act cute, talk sweetly and then – bam! The hit-by-a-car kind of bam, not the dog version.
The dog version is adorable, with giant paws, floppy ears and a tail which won’t stop wagging.
“Right, well.” Turning, you find the front desk unoccupied. Yoongi must be showing someone to their room. “Why don’t I show you where you’ll be staying this week?”
“That sounds great.”
Jungkook’s gaze lingers a moment, as though expecting you to say more. Not wanting to fall into that trap, you look away.
“Just give me just one second,” you say. “I’ll change my shoes and we can start.”
You keep snow boots in the break room in case you need to leave for whatever reason. After a quick yet dignified (you hope) hobble to the front counter, you replace your heels with boots that are infinitely more comfortable.
Grabbing the keys and returning to Jungkook, you gesture for him to follow. His suitcase sits beside the front door, left in his haste to cross the room to you. There’s an extra-large dog crate placed beside his things and you stare at it, stumped and wondering how you’ll move it.
“I’ve got this,” Jungkook says close behind you.
When you jump, he starts and takes a step backwards.
“Sorry!” He holds up both hands. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Oh – I, uh, you didn’t. I was just wondering how to get the dog crate to your room.”
Jungkook shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll come back for it later. So,” he says, grabbing the handle of his suitcase. “Which way?”
You hesitate but eventually decide this is a better plan than you awkwardly dragging a crate down several halls. Once you get Jungkook settled in, you can have Namjoon or Seokjin bring his things up. Jungkook is supposed to be your VIP guest, after all.
“This way,” you say, forcing your smile. “We’re incredibly grateful to have you here. Thank you for agreeing to do the social media takeover this week.”
“It’s not a problem.”
Keeping your smile in place, you gesture for him to follow. Bam trots along at Jungkook’s heels, tongue out and staring adoringly up at his owner.
Your smile turns semi-genuine, and you stuff both hands in your pockets.
“So,” Jungkook says as you walk. “When you say, ‘social media takeover,’ does that mean you’re planning on posting this week?”
Surprised, you glance sideways and meet Jungkook’s gaze. His brow is furrowed, as though something about this is concerning.
“We were planning to,” you say. “Why? Is something wrong?”
“No, not wrong, exactly.” Jungkook pauses. “It’s just… is there any way you could avoid posting until after I leave? Things can get kind of crazy, once I let people know where I am.”
You hesitate, unsure how to respond.
On the one hand, you understand his concern. Jungkook is famous, and it must be annoying to have groupies following him everywhere. Simply the thought makes your insides twist. On the other hand, you need to make money as quickly as possible.
“I get what you’re saying,” you say at last. “But you don’t need to worry about privacy. We can stagger the posts and make it unclear when they were taken. We also have police on hand in case things get out of control.”
Jungkook hesitates, and then nods. “Okay.”
“It’s just,” you say, feeling the need to explain, “my boss is hoping to increase sales over the holidays. And if we wait until after you leave to post, Christmas will have passed – and with it, the opportunity for last-minute trip presents.”
“Alright,” he exhales. “That makes sense. I guess it’ll be fine.”
He doesn’t sound one hundred percent convinced, but you hope it’s at least enough to keep him from calling Namjoon. The last thing you need is to push things back by a week.
It’s better to monitor social media reactions in real time. If you do everything beforehand and only release shots once Jungkook leaves, there’s a chance people might not react, and you’d be stuck without the chance to redo.
The elevator to the sixth floor – and Jungkook’s suite – is at the end of the hall, so you need to pass nearly every room to reach it. Nearing Namjoon’s office, the door swings open and your boss steps out.
“Jungkook!” Beaming, he sticks out a hand to shake. “So good to meet you at last. My parents are always talking about yours.”
“Likewise,” Jungkook says, shaking Namjoon’s hand.
Stepping off to one side, you stop beside Bam and cross your arms. Behind Jungkook’s back you mouth, traitor, at Namjoon, which he pointedly ignores.
“It’s great to be here,” Jungkook says. Subconsciously, he moves to stand beside you in the hall. “Y/N was just showing me to my room.”
“Was she?” Namjoon’s smile freezes. “Good, good. The mountain suite, right?” he asks, as though you might’ve stuck Jungkook in a broom closet.
“Yes, the mountain suite,” you say sweetly. “Only the best for our VIP guests.”
Clearing his throat, Jungkook looks faintly uncomfortable.
He does a convincing show of feigning humility, you must admit. You remember this about him from college. Jungkook was usually beside you on the couch at parties, observing the people like Leslie, who danced and sang.
This memory is accompanied by a twinge of self-doubt. It’s been a long time since college and you didn’t know Jungkook for long, but you did know him, however briefly. The fact that he hasn’t recognized you only reinforces your negative perception.
It’s only for a week, you remind yourself. You just need to get through this week, and then things can go back to normal.
“Well, we should be off,” you say loudly. “Don’t want to have Jungkook lugging his suitcase all around.”
“Oh,” Namjoon blurts. “Here, Jungkook, let me take that. You shouldn’t be carrying your own bag. I can, or we can –”
“No, no, no.” Jungkook wheels his large suitcase behind his back. “I insist. Thank you, though.”
Namjoon pauses, torn between ingrained hospitality and the need to respect a guest’s wishes. Eventually, the latter wins out and he takes a step backwards.
“Alright.” Namjoon looks at you. “Why don’t you give Jungkook a tour of the lodge, Y/N?” he offers as a compromise. “It’d be good to get him familiar with the Inn.”
You grit your teeth, seconds away from offering an excuse, when –
“That would be nice,” Jungkook says. “If you have time, Y/N, that is.”
“Well, actually –”
“She does,” Namjoon jumps in. “Y/N, I can get someone to cover whatever you have next.”
They both look at you expectantly, and you realize there’s no way to politely decline. Lingering awkwardness fills the air, making even Bam look somewhat distressed. Backed into a corner, you turn to Jungkook.
“Yes,” you say. “I have time.”
His expression softens, and he nods. Again, you remind yourself this is only for a week. You can be friendly for that long – as a professional of hospitality, this is what you train for.
“It’s no trouble at all,” you say, continuing down the hall. “Promise. Let’s get you to your room and we can go from there.”
You don’t look back, but you hear Jungkook follow, with Bam trotting after.
Namjoon gives you a long look before leaving, slipping back in his office to shut the door. Left alone with Jungkook, you guide him to the elevator and – swiping your card – press the up button. The mountain suite is the most luxurious and private on the premises. It takes up the entire sixth floor, only accessible by private elevator at the end of the hall.
You tell Jungkook this as you enter, and Bam backs up to sit happily on Jungkook’s boots. Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice and, hiding a smile, you remind yourself dogs will love anyone. Even charming, duplicitous monsters.
Silence falls and, after a moment, you offer, “How was your flight?”
Jungkook glances at you in surprise.
“Good, I guess.”
You nod and face forward again, feeling silly.
It might be egotistical, but you really thought Jungkook would recognize you. Not recognize-recognize, but recognize in the, hey, you look familiar, kind of way. To meet him after this all time and get nothing leaves the inside of your chest feeling hollow.
Interrupting the world’s tiniest pity party, the doors to the elevator open to reveal the mountain suite.
Without meaning to, you exhale. The mountain suite has that effect on people, including yourself. Entering the room, you face floor-to-ceiling windows which display snow-covered mountains. A balcony lies beyond double doors, complete with a steaming hot tub and a twinkle-light trellis.
The elevator opens into the foyer, through which the main room is visible. You’re relieved to find the fireplace has been lit, its flickering flames casting shadows across the floor. To your right is a long hall which leads to the master bedroom.
Letting out a low whistle, Jungkook comes to a stop. “Wow, this is amazing.”
“I’m glad you think so,” you say, crossing the room to the kitchen.
Opening the fridge, you pull out a carafe and pour a glass of water. After a moment of hesitation, you take out a bowl and fill this as well.
“In case you’re thirsty after your flight,” you explain over your shoulder. “If there’s anything at all you need, please let me know. You can reach the concierge by dialing nine on that phone. Room service is also available 24/7 – I’d ask for our sous chef, Hoseok,” you add. “He’s the best.”
Leaning a hip to the counter, Jungkook watches you place a bowl on the floor.
“Is that for Bam?” he asks.
Confused, you pause. “Oh – yes. I hope that’s alright? Does he not drink tap water, or something?”
Jungkook hides a smile. “He’ll drink anything, don’t worry. He’s not used to being pampered like this. I’ll have high standards to live up to when we go home.”
“Oh,” you say. “Right.”
Leaving Bam to hydrate, you straighten and cross into the main room. “The blinds are on timers,” you explain, showing a panel near the balcony. “But they can also be controlled here, along with heating and lighting.”
Nodding, Jungkook follows and comes to a stop in the middle of the room.
“Cool,” he says, then pauses. “So. Are we ever going to talk about the fact that we know each other?”
Freezing, you glance at him in surprise.
He’s still wearing the puffer jacket, zipped to his chin over plain dark joggers. The beanie is gone, removed between here and the lobby and causing his hair to stick up messily in the back.
“I – what?” you blurt.
Not the most eloquent comeback but all things considered, you find it appropriate. Stricken, you watch as Jungkook walks closer.
“We knew each other in college,” he repeats. “You’re Leslie’s friend – Y/N.”
Coming to a stop, he looks down and you’re forced to tilt your head upward. He might not be as tall as Namjoon, but Jungkook is tall. You forgot that. You forgot a lot of things, apparently, including how easily his presence affects you.
When you remain silent, a flash of uncertainty crosses his features.
“You are that Y/N, right?” Jungkook asks. “I recognized you in the lobby, but then you introduced yourself as though you didn’t know me, so I thought maybe you didn’t remember, or –”
“I remember,” you cut in.
“Oh.” Jungkook pauses. “Okay, good.”
“I remember,” you continue, “but I didn’t think you’d remember me. You were the golden boy on campus, and I was just, well – your girlfriend’s friend.”
Something in his gaze flickers.
“Leslie and I didn’t date for very long,” Jungkook says quietly.
“I know,” you respond, turning away.
Maybe it’s rude to cut him off, but you foresee things going down a bad path if you continue this conversation. So far, things have gone smoothly, and you’d like to keep it that way. Silently, you repeat your inner mantra: last one week and Namjoon will give you a raise. All you need to do is not pick a fight.
Forcing a smile, you turn back around. “Do you need anything else before we start the tour?”
Jungkook stares at you another moment, then shakes his head. “No,” he says, crossing the room to grab his suitcase. Unzipping the side, he pulls out a dog bowl for Bam. “I’m good to go. Should I wear my jacket?”
“I would. We’ll see the rest of the lodge, and then maybe hit the slopes. That’s where you’ll be joining the kids class tomorrow.”
Setting the food bowl beside the water one you’ve presented, Jungkook looks up.
“Kids class?”
You nod, leaning a hip to the counter. “We’ve got a packed schedule for you this week. Tomorrow you have a kids snowboarding class with our instructor, Seokjin and the children’s coordinator, Jimin.”
“Anything else?”
“As a matter of fact,” – you pull out your phone – “I’ll send you the tentative itinerary. We’ve got a bunch of activities planned for photo ops. I’ll be joining most of them since I’m covering social media while we’re in between employees.”
Jungkook looks alarmed. “Photo ops?”
“If it’s the lighting you’re worried about, I wouldn’t,” you mutter, pressing send. “I’m sure you’d look perfect with a single lightbulb and zero makeup.”
A beat passes and, realizing what you’ve said, you glance up. Jungkook is looking, his lips pressed tightly together as though trying not to laugh.
“That’s… not what I was worried about,” he says.
“Oh. Good.” Ducking your head, you slip your phone in your pocket. “The schedule is just your typical, holiday stuff. A snowboarding class with kids, a cookie making contest, a Christmas Eve party. You know, the usual.”
“Sure, the usual.” Jungkook nods. “And while I take these photos, will I get to wear my own clothing, or is it strictly Christmas sweaters from here on out?”
You pause, surveying his body. “Do you want to wear only holiday sweaters?”
“No, not really.”
His voice comes out rougher than expected, and you tear your gaze away. He shouldn’t affect you the way that he does.
“Then I wouldn’t put that idea in my mind,” you say lightly. “We should probably start while it’s still light out.”
Never mind that it’s barely noon and there’s at least four hours of sunlight. The way Jungkook makes you feel is disorienting, as though you could be convinced to forget the past.
“Do you mind if Bam joins?” Jungkook asks. “At least until I can bring his crate upstairs. It’s safer this way.”
You pause, then nod and Bam’s tail thumps in agreement. Smiling openly, you place a second key card on the counter and head for the elevator.
Jungkook gets there first and, when he leans to press the button, you catch a whiff of cologne. Cardamon and peppermint – spicy yet sweet, making your heart beat a bit faster. It reminds you of a night you hold dear; your Christmas ghost from eight years ago.
Junior year was rough even outside of the whole Jungkook and Leslie drama. After your dad died, nearly everything seemed bleak and monotonous. Christmas was the worst of all, with neither you nor your mom knowing how to fill his void. That first year after his passing, your Christmas ghost gave you the courage to face a dismal holiday.
Things are better now between you and your mom. Ever since she began dating Romel, a lot of the pressure has eased and you’ve reached an understanding. You might not agree on a lot of things, but for the most part your mom leaves your decisions alone. The past three Christmases have been spent apart, with your mom and Romel traveling to new destinations every year.
This suits you fine since you enjoy work and holidays are hell in the travel sector. It’s nice to keep busy, but you no longer dread Christmas like you did that first year. You have your Christmas ghost to thank partly for that, since he reminded you there were still kind people left in the world. For a while, you were drowning, and he helped you find a way home. Literally.
You never got the chance to thank him. Several times you thought about going to Yugyeom’s house, knocking on the door, and asking about his friend. Each time, you’d chicken out and so, the years passed, and you never saw him again.
Despite this, you’ve always wondered. You hope your Christmas ghost is doing well, wherever he is.
Unlike you.
You’re faced with the prospect of a multi-hour tour with one of your least favorite people in the world. Plastering your fake smile on, you hold the elevator open as Jungkook and Bam join.
One more week, you remind yourself as the doors shut. Then, you’ll be free, and things can return to normal.
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“It’s too early for this,” you say, clutching your coffee cup like a lifeline.
Taking a large sip from his hot pink thermos, Seokjin nods. “I agree, but I’ve unfortunately dedicated my life to teaching children how to snowboard, and they always wake up at the ass-crack of dawn.”
“Is that the official time? Ass-crack?”
“Yeah. And your official name is smartass.”
You laugh, nearly choking on coffee. “Touché. Cut me some slack. It’s hard not to be sarcastic before 8:00 AM.”
“Yeah, well.” Seokjin takes another sip. “It’s good for beginners to have the soft snow. Ice makes it harder when they go downhill.”
You nod in agreement, willing caffeine to permeate your body faster. A few feet away stands Jimin, enthusiastically gesticulating to a small group of children. They giggle at his instructions, as the two in the back begin a snowball fight.
Watching them, you continue drinking your coffee. After a moment, you lean over to Seokjin.
“Should we stop them?” you ask, gesturing to the demons.
“No.” Seokjin takes another sip. “They’ll sort it out eventually.”
You nod and face forward. This class happens every morning, but today there’ll be a special guest: Jungkook. Jimin is gearing up to make the introduction as he asks the names of each child present. There will be ten in total, one of whom wears an Olympic snowboarding sweatshirt. Curly, black hair pokes out from beneath his bright blue ski cap.
Last year’s winter Olympics had record views, in no small part due to the Fantastic Four: the not-so-creative name for Jungkook Jeon and three of the more attractive snowboarders. Their images were plastered across the nation for months. You couldn’t enter a coffee shop without being accosted by Jungkook’s smiling face – minus the cheek scar, of course. They kept editing it out.
For an unknown reason, this annoyed you.
It made you recall a college night you’d rather forget. The night Leslie dragged you, Taehyung and Jungkook to some raucous frat party. Per usual, she left you after an hour, making friends with new people and taking shots with the soccer team in the kitchen.
You wound up on the basement couch and sometime around midnight, Jungkook collapsed beside you. Mussing his hair, he released a sigh.
Lips twitching, you looked sideways. “Not a fan of these parties?”
Jungkook shook his head. Glancing sideways, you started and realized how close you were. The tops of your thighs nearly touched.
“I’ll need the whole week to recuperate,” he groaned. “We introverts aren’t meant for this much social interaction.”
You lifted a brow. “What makes you think I’m an introvert?”
You thought Jungkook would be stumped or embarrassed at being called out, but an answer was ready on the tip of his tongue.
“You don’t ever start the conversation,” he explained, quiet. “You tend to keep to yourself. And you look kind of tired.”
Unthinking, you laughed. “I look tired?”
“Well, I feel tired,” he said, collapsing back on the sofa and closing his eyes. “And you look how I feel.”
Staring at Jungkook, you wondered how drunk he was. A red solo cup of something lingered by his thigh – swallowing hard, you forced your gaze to move upward. This became a mistake since Jungkook was looking at you and the force of his gaze was magnetic.
“What’s that?” you said, focusing on his cheek.
His brow scrunched. “What’s what?”
Reaching out, your fingertips lightly brushed skin and Jungkook froze.
You remember this clearly. Remember the heat which filled the space between you, and the speed at which you pulled away. It was Leslie’s boyfriend you were semi-hitting on in the basement of a party.
“Uh, I’m going to get another drink,” you blurted, standing up from the couch.
You heard him call out your name as you left, but it was too late. Locking yourself in the lower floor bathroom, you stayed until you managed to regain your composure. Once finished, you left and stuck to Taehyung like glue for the rest of the night.
Jungkook went home with Leslie and a week later, the two of them broke up. Looking back, you should have known then Jungkook had cheater potential. Never mind the fact that you were an equal instigator.
Despite the memory – or maybe because of it – you have a soft spot for Jungkook’s cheek scar. The Olympic posters shouldn’t have erased it; everyone needs blemishes or they’re not real.
Startled, you turn and find Jungkook before you.
Seokjin waves, single-handed and you manage a nod. Jungkook has on the same puffer jacket but now, he’s added bright red sweatpants. His hair’s been squashed beneath a ski hat, and there are snowboarding goggles pushed up on his head.
Catching you looking, he smiles, and you quickly look away.
“Not morning people?” Jungkook jokes.
Seokjin squints at the sun. “We’re sane if that’s what you’re asking. Are you one of those weirdos who gets up at dawn, like Yoongi?”
When Jungkook glances your way, you explain, “Yoongi is our concierge. You’ll meet him later today.”
“Oh, cool. And no.” Jungkook shakes his head. “If possible, I’d sleep until noon, but my schedule usually doesn’t allow it.”
“Good man.”
Reaching out, Seokjin offers Jungkook a fist-bump. The three of you stand together in silence, broken only by the occasional sips of coffee.
A few parents stand to one side, glancing curiously in your direction every now and again. You try to ignore them, hoping they’ll wander off before the class starts. One of the main benefits of having Jimin on site is it frees up the parents to take advantage of the Inn’s amenities.
Speaking of whom, Jimin is finishing up with his introduction.
Glancing your way, he raises his voice. “Before we go and get our skis,” he says. “I want to introduce today’s instructors. First, we have Mr. Seokjin – everyone say, ‘HI, MR. SEOKJIN!’”
Jimin gives a large, exaggerated wave and the kids follow suit. Handing you his coffee, Seokjin starts to jog over.
“Hi, kids!” Coming to a stop, Seokjin places both hands on his hips. “Are you all ready to try a double black diamond?”
“YEAH!” yells the curly-haired kid.
Several other children look stricken and in response, Jimin glares.
“No black diamonds,” he says firmly. “We’re trying to get everyone off the mountain in one piece.”
“We… might break into pieces?” squeaks a young girl with pigtails.
Jimin backtracks. “Of course not,” he says, squatting down to eye level. “Mr. Seokjin is just being silly. And to be extra sure, we’ve brought in a second instructor!” Jimin looks up. “Everybody say, ‘HI, MR. JUNGKOOK!’”
Multiple heads turn, and several jaws drop when they see Jungkook.
“Jungkook Jeon!” the curly-haired boy squeals. “You’re my favorite snowboarder!”
Rushing forward, he wraps both arms around Jungkook’s waist to squeeze. Jungkook grins, hugging back as he lowers himself to eye-level.
“Are you excited to snowboard?” he asks, glancing around the circle.
A wispy girl with braids raises her hand and Jimin points at her.
“Yes,” he says. “Amber.”
Amber glances at Jimin, then Jungkook. “How… are we going to keep up with Mr. Jungkook?”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Jungkook says seriously. “We’ll go super slow and start at the beginning.”
“But I wanna go fast,” complains the boy whose arms are still around Jungkook.
Jungkook looks down in amusement. “Well, first let’s get you onto some skis.”
Reluctantly, he nods and retracts both his arms. You manage to snap several photos, saving them to review when you return to the lodge. Trudging behind the class, you follow Seokjin and Jungkook to the ski shed for rentals.
Hovering outside, you continue taking photos. It feels voyeuristic, watching them through the lens of an observer. Contrary to your employment, you’re not a great skier. You’re not bad, exactly. You can keep up with the others, make it down the hill, but you rarely enjoy it. You find little intriguing about icy wind in your face while seconds away from hurtling off a mountain.
Despite this, you like to watch people ski. It looks so freeing when it’s someone else doing it, and not yourself.
Flipping to your camera roll, you survey what you have so far. There are several good ones of Jimin and Jungkook strapping kids into boots. Another of Jungkook returning a little girl’s mitten. Him grinning widely as the curly-haired boy skis a couple of feet.
Covering the screen, you almost don’t notice when Jungkook appears beside you. Again, you jerk backwards but this time, he takes it in stride.
Lifting a brow, Jungkook tugs off a glove. “How terrible are the photos, Y/N? You can tell me honestly. I can take it.”
“They’re not bad,” you assure him, flipping the phone around. “See?”
He leans forward, and you try to ignore his fresh, peppermint smell. After viewing a couple, Jungkook frowns and looks up.
“We can do better. Seokjin!” Jungkook calls, whirling around. “Let’s line up these skiers to go crush some serious powder.”
“Tubular!” yells Seokjin and all the kids start giggling.
Like ducklings, they follow Jungkook in a row up the slope. Beginner lessons take place on the bunny hill, a man-made slope right before the ski lift. Jungkook is in the lead, with Seokjin in the rear – holding hands tightly with a small girl in a ponytail.
Once the entire class is in place, Seokjin puts on his skis and stands before them. Clasping both hands behind his back, he shuffles up and down.
“Distinguished guests,” he says. “By the end of this class, you’ll be flying down the slopes. Or at the very least, you won’t fall every time you move. Shall we begin?”
“YES!” yell back two or three, while the rest look worried.
Seokjin nods, taking this as acceptance.
He starts by teaching them to balance, and mass chaos ensues. Jungkook assists, still in his boots, adjusting their posture and distribution of weight. Even though his main sport is snowboarding, Jungkook knows what he’s doing on a pair of skis.
Once the kids have the hang of it, Seokjin returns to the front.
“Okay,” he says seriously. “Before we can go down the hill, there’s a few things you need to know. Who can tell me one of them?”
When no one raises a hand, Jungkook drops to his knees. This makes him their height, and all of them giggle when he stretches up his arm.
Snapping a photo, you smile at the screen. The shot is adorable – Jungkook, wide-eyed and sincere while the children are laughing. Your guests will love it.
“You.” Seokjin points at Jungkook. “The ridiculously old child.”
More laughter ensues as Jungkook pouts.
“We need to learn how to stop,” he says in a squeaky voice. “And how to go slowly.”
“Excellent!” says Seokjin. “Ten points to Gryffindor.”
“But I’m in Ravenclaw.”
“Whatever.” Seokjin gestures to Jungkook’s skis. “Get on your skis, and let’s go.”
Over the next half hour, Seokjin teaches the kids how to snowplow. They practice repeatedly, until there’s minimal falling occurring each round. Once Seokjin is satisfied they won’t poke an eye out, he leads them to the edge of the bunny hill.
The first one down the slope is the curly-haired kid in the Olympic jacket, and Jungkook whoops with excitement. You’re glad you wore snow boots because you’re forced to trudge up and down after them, taking photos.
There’s a conveyor belt lift on the bunny hill, but you feel funny riding it without skis. Seokjin has his hands full trying to make sure the kids go forwards, not backwards. Even Jimin has joined in, having returned from an arts and crafts fest in the lodge.
On your twentieth trudge up the slope, Jungkook snowplows to a stop mere inches away. You sputter, jumping backwards to avoid being drenched by his snow.
“Sorry!” Jungkook gasps, shoving his goggles upward.
“It’s fine,” you sigh, shaking water from your coat. “Don’t worry about it.”
Jungkook nods and moves closer.
“Are you going to ski?” he asks.
“I – no, I wasn’t planning on it.” Glancing at him, you frown. “I need to take pictures, remember?”
Jungkook holds out a hand. “I can take a few photos for you.”
“But… you’re the one we’re photographing,” you say. “We specifically need photos of you.”
“And you’ll get them.” Jungkook grins. “I can do selfies – ‘A Jungkook Takeover,’ or something. Come on, it’ll be fun! And you can put on a pair of skis yourself. I feel bad with you all the way over here, watching.”
When you still don’t move, a knowing glint enters his gaze.
“Or is there something else going on here?” Jungkook muses. “Y/N.”
“What?” you say, looking anywhere but at him.
“Can you… not ski?”
“I can ski,” you huff, still avoiding his gaze. “It’s just been a while, that’s all.”
“Well, lucky for you, there’s an Olympic snowboarder here to teach you.”
“Snowboarder,” you say, turning fully to face him. “Not skier.”
His grin widens. “So, you’ll do it?”
“Fine,” you groan, handing over your phone. “Although I truly don’t understand what you’re getting out of this.”
Jungkook merely shrugs, and you turn around.
“Be right back,” you call. “Need to grab boots and skis from the shed.”
Somewhat irked at your willingness to go along with his pleading, you stomp towards the shed and emerge minutes later with fresh boots and skis.
Shuffling towards the bunny hill, you stare down at the snow. Funny how earlier, you called this barely a hill. Now, the ten-degree angle feels more like forty. Swallowing hard, you remind yourself this is fine. Kids have been skiing up and down this all morning; there’s no way Seokjin would allow it if there was a risk.
“Are you alright?”
Turning a little, you find Jungkook beside you. Your phone is still in his hand, although it’s pointed away from you both. His expression is full of concern and, not wanting to unpack this too much, you turn away.
“I had a bad fall,” you say softly. “When I first got here. I haven’t skied much since.”
“Ah.” Jungkook considers, then looks down the slope. “When I first started to train for the Olympics –”
“How is this going to help.”
“Getting there.” His upper lip quirks. “When I first started training, I was terrified of competition. Snowboarding seemed different when there was an audience. I hated the pressure of having people watching.”
Uncertain, you glance at him from the corner of your eye.
“What did you do?”
Jungkook exhales. “My teacher said to use the energy. He said nervousness is another form of excitement, and I needed to learn how to embrace it. So, Y/N – use it.”
“That’s it?” You stare. “Embrace my nerves?”
“Yep.” Pushing himself off one ski, Jungkook moves behind you. “The other thing he said,” he says, voice close to your ear, “was sometimes, you just need a good push to start.”
You barely have time to register his words when his hands find your waist. He pushes you forward and then, the entire world rushes past.
Rushing is a bit of an overstatement, but you yelp anyways. On reflex, your knees bend and lock in the skiing position.
“JUNGKOOK!” you yell. “YOU’RE DEAD!”
The children are squealing as Jungkook skis alongside you. He’s got the camera on, you realize, pointed backwards to give a silly grin. Tearing your gaze away from him, you force yourself to concentrate on Seokjin at the bottom.
Legs trembling, you remember Seokjin’s instructions and squeeze your thighs together. Snowplowing to a stop, you stand there shaking a moment before you turn.
You’re winding up to yell at Jungkook – when one of the children runs up and gives you a high-five.
“You did it, Ms. Y/N!” she exclaims.
You pause when she says this because she’s right – you did do it. You made it all the way down the – admittedly, bunny – hill and only felt a moderate amount of terror. Mostly, you were pissed at Jungkook but there was a small amount of freedom at the end.
Jungkook has reached the bottom by now and is skiing towards you. He’s still holding the phone in one hand, and you realize he’s live streaming when he comes to a stop.
“And now,” Jungkook says, turning the camera around, “an interview with the eldest member of the class. Y/N, did you find your training to be satisfactory?”
“Well,” you say, glaring at the man behind the camera, “there were a few things I found lacking.”
Jungkook mock-gasps. “Are you calling Mr. Seokjin a bad teacher?”
“No!” you huff. “That was supposed to be a slight at your teaching ability.”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”
Shuffling closer, you try to grab the camera. “You should probably cross ski instructor off your list of potential post-Olympic careers.”
“And social media manager,” he jokes, keeping out of arm’s reach as he turns the phone in his hand. Jungkook makes a silly face. “I have no idea if I’m even in frame.”
“Give me that,” you say, reaching out for the phone.
The front of your ski catches on his and for a moment, you flail. Jungkook lunges forward to steady you, but this only serves to entangle you further. In what seems like comedic slow-motion you fall, maneuvering just in time to avoid Jungkook’s ski. Unfortunately, the last-minute twist means you land on his chest.
Both legs sprawled to one side, you find yourself in the same position for the second time in as many days. Unwittingly, your gaze lands on Jungkook and you find him staring back. One of his hands has curled around your waist, as though he sought to take the brunt of the fall.
For a moment, neither of you moves and the world itself seems to still.
Then, someone purposefully clears their throat off to the side.
You remember who you are. Who he is. What you’re doing – and that Jungkook was live streaming when you fell. Slowly, you turn and find the phone face-up in the snow, still pointed at you, capturing you both in frame.
As gracefully as possible, you shove yourself backwards. Standing in skis is difficult but you manage with Jimin’s assistance. Seokjin helps Jungkook to his feet, and you see him hastily cutting the live stream from the corner of your eye.
Once you’re up and – relatively – dry, Seokjin clears his throat.
“That was an excellent example of what not to do,” he says to the class. “Make sure you always stay a ski’s length away from other skiers on the slopes. It was a great transition into the final portion of class, though – how to fall!”
Giggles ensue, with more than one child pretending to fall towards their neighbor. Seokjin walks them through the basics, explaining how to fall backwards, avoiding using the hands as much as possible.
“Twisted ankles and broken wrists!” Seokjin yells, skiing between participants. “Two of the most common injuries on skis! Good – good job, Manny!”
“Mr. Seokjin,” says Manny, looking slightly green as he hauls himself up. “What if we do get hurt on the mountain? What then?”
Seokjin squats down beside him.
“Don’t you worry about that,” he says seriously. “You’re not going to get hurt. And even if you do, we’ll be there to help. See that super cool snowmobile by the ski shed?”
Glancing to where Seokjin points, Manny nods.
“If you can’t ski down, one of us will come get you on that,” Seokjin tells him. “And we even have a ranger station, halfway up the mountain with all kinds of medical supplies. Just in case.”
“Okay,” Manny exhales.
Seokjin nods and stands, pointing at Jungkook to demonstrate a fall – which he does, with great flair. The kids all squeal in excitement, and the rest of the class passes without incident. Jungkook returns your phone the next time your paths cross, seeming like he wants to say more, but you pretend Jimin is in dire need of assistance and ski off.
Parents gather at the end and Jungkook dutifully poses for photos with multiple families. You’re surprised by this, since Jungkook’s agent said he didn’t want to be disturbed. This made you picture a grumpy, spoiled athlete but Jungkook has proven exactly the opposite.
You take advantage of his occupation to head for the shed, changing into your snow boots before Jungkook can stop you.
Back in the lodge, you collapse on the sofa before a roaring fire. With a mug of Hoseok’s wicked hot chocolate, you reluctantly sort through the photos you took.
The shots at the beginning are kind of awkward, with the kids standing stiffly and looking at Jungkook with rapture. As time goes on, they relax, and you find yourself holding some winning shots.
Entering the Inn’s Instagram account, you pause when a text from Namjoon appears on your screen. After a heavy exhale, you click on his name. Namjoon is probably telling you off about the live stream from earlier. You can’t imagine seeing famed snowboarder Jungkook fall in front of however many people went over well.
When you open Namjoon’s text, it’s not what you expected.
He’s sent you a still from the live stream. It must have been taken right before you fell, since Jungkook is grinning and holding the camera at arm’s length. You’re jumping, trying to get the phone back and – startled, you blink – you’re smiling ear to ear.
That’s unexpected. You didn’t think you were happy, but you also fail to see why this would warrant a message from Namjoon. Before you can think on this further, your phone dings again and you see Namjoon’s texts.
Namjoon: nice job, Y/N! That live stream is already circulating on Jungkook’s fan sites. The Inn’s Instagram followers are climbing [9:14 AM]
Namjoon: whatever you’re doing, keep it up! Jungkook’s fans are loving the Inn and it’s ‘mystery woman’ [9:17 AM]
Mystery woman?
Dizzy, you return to Instagram and search for a Jungkook fan account. To your dismay, the live stream has indeed been reposted, and people are already commenting beneath.
There are a couple of posts about how cute the kids are, how cool Jungkook’s run was – but mostly, people want to know who you are.
Snowbunny73: did you see the way Jungkook went up behind her?? I WISH!
EasilyEliza: omgomgomg he looks SMITTEN
GregsEgg: are you looking for a sugar daddy? Looking for short, female companion who wants to travel and likes expensive bags
Anya901: miss you, baby – when are you coming home?
JeminaCrickett: I’ve been saying I want Jungkook to squish me for YEARS and this girl went out and did it TT teach us your ways!!
There are more, but you feel slightly nauseous and hastily put your phone down. In no version of your social media plan did you envision yourself being part of it. For a moment, you stare into the fire and then, remembering you have hot chocolate, bring this to your lips.
The chocolatey warmth makes things better and, by the time you reach the middle, you’ve convinced yourself this is fine. Nothing about the plan has inherently changed.
So, Jungkook’s fans are intrigued by your chemistry. They’re intrigued because of Jungkook, not you and that’s all you need to get his fans through the door. If you need to post a couple photos with a flirty edge, that’s also fine. You can cast Jungkook in a romantic light without developing feelings for him yourself – can’t you?
Swallowing, you finish the rest of the mug. The fact that you’re skeptical has you worried. If today has proven anything it’s that Jungkook’s as charming and handsome as he was eight years ago. Likely nothing else has changed from eight years ago, either.
And yet, the thought gives you pause.
It was eight years ago Jungkook cheated on Leslie. They hadn’t been dating long and he was basically a child. Possibly you’re being too harsh by continuing to hold a grudge. Especially considering you haven’t spoken to Leslie in over a year.
Shaking your head, you stand from the couch. It’s too much to contemplate after one interaction, so you leave the quandary to address at a later date. Right now, you need a hot shower, a change of clothes and your laptop so you can plan out the rest of this week’s posts.
So that, to quote Namjoon, you can keep on doing whatever it is you’ve been doing.
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The rest of the day passes in a blur. Down several staff members, you’re expected to fill in wherever you’re needed and so, by the time dusk rolls around, you’ve helped Jimin wrangle children, assisted Tonja in decorating a tree and wound up in the kitchen.
Mashing potatoes in a gigantic bowl, you pause to wipe sweat from your brow. Hoseok’s holiday playlist transitions to the next song and your stomach lets out a loud gurgle.
Pausing his cooking, Hoseok stares over the burner. “Y/N,” he says, appalled. “When was the last time you ate?”
“Uh.” Resuming your mashing, you look away. “I don’t know? I think I had some toast around lunch.”
Hoseok presses pause on the music. Groans from the rest of the kitchen staff arise from this decision.
Ignoring them, Hoseok stares. “Think?” he says. “And toast? Here, Y/N, take this” – removing the masher from your hand, he replaces this with a bowl – “and go eat in the break room before you collapse. Please.”
You’re about to protest when you accidentally inhale. Hoseok’s French onion soup wafts towards your nostrils and your remaining shred of willpower crumbles.
“Ugh,” you say, resigned. “Fine. This smells absolutely amazing, Hobi.”
Snapping a towel, Hoseok shoos you away. “Obviously. Now, leave before I call Yoongi to come get you. Your mashing was terrible, anyways.”
Sticking out your tongue, you grab the soup bowl and leave, as requested. Hoseok’s right – you’re a terrible cook and possibly caused more harm than help.
Pushing open the side door, you enter the break room and come to a stop. The staff room is one of your favorite places at the Inn, outside of the mountain suite. Most of the best views have been turned into guest rooms, but this space has been the exception. When Namjoon’s parents wanted to replace this with a suite years ago, Namjoon put his foot down.
Situated at the back of the lodge, the entire right wall is made entirely of glass. Through it the ski slopes are visible, red lights from the lift blinking against darkened snow.
Pulling out a chair, you seat yourself at a table. Inhaling the warm scent of onion and bread, you lower your spoon and take a first sip. No surprise, it’s heavenly. It’s a wonder Hoseok hasn’t been snapped up by a rival lodge yet. Or possibly he’s had offers, but respects Namjoon too much to leave.
The head chef of the Inn is a friend of Namjoon’s parents, but between the members of the staff, he’s wildly unpopular. The guy stops in a few times a week to approve the menus and taste-test some food, then leaves. Hoseok is the one running the show, and it’s better that way.
By the time your spoon scrapes the bottom of the bowl, you’re stuffed. Leaning back, you exhale and stare out the window. The Inn feels peaceful in a way you don’t often find during the holiday season. Ever since your dad’s death, you’ve treated the time as an odd sort of limbo.
The holidays are full of mixed emotions. On the one hand, you love them but on the other hand, they remind you of your dad. He was the Christmas champion in your household, decorating the day after Thanksgiving to a playlist he made before Halloween.
There were so many traditions you celebrated. A hot chocolate bar the day your finals ended. Terrible caroling at the nursing home your mom worked at. Getting pizza Christmas Eve because of the one year your dad burnt the turkey and you had to order out.
Closing your eyes, you remind yourself it’s okay to feel conflicted. It’s okay to want to celebrate but to be sad he can’t be a part of it. When you open your eyes again, the lights on the ski slope blur and you realize they’re full of tears.
Wiping them away, you almost don’t notice your phone buzz on the table. Scrambling, you see your mom’s name a second before pressing answer.
“Y/N!” she declares, her face filling the screen. “How are you?”
Shifting in your seat, you hope your mom can’t tell you’ve been crying.
“Good,” you say, forcing a smile. “How are you and Romel? What’re you doing?”
“Oh, we’re going well!”
Twisting the phone, your mom shows Romel on the balcony of their hotel, a cocktail in hand. Spotting you, he waves enthusiastically. You can’t help but smile as you wave back, and the camera returns to your mom.
It took a while to get used to the idea of your mom being with someone who wasn’t your dad. She started dating Romel two years after your dad died, which led to yet another tense Christmas between the two of you.
After many years and therapy, you’ve come to understand the good Romel does for your mom. She was so snappish after your father’s death, and now she’s less so. More relaxed. Romel was the reason your mom started reaching out to you more, picking fewer fights about stupid things.
It took longer than you’d like to admit but, once you came around, you never looked back. Nowadays, Romel is as much a part of your life as is your mom. Still, he isn’t your dad and Christmas was always a special time between the two of you.
“What have you guys been up to?” you ask.
“Oh, this and that.” Your mom hums. “We’re taking a scuba diving lesson tomorrow, can you imagine? Romel is nervous about being so far underwater, but if those horrible Berkshires can do it, so can we!”
Hiding your smile, you nod in agreement.
The Berkshires are your least likable neighbors on your block. They’re the type who would call the police if your party was too loud, or Christmas lights too bright. Your father always combatted this by pointing the baby Jesus in your manger stubbornly in their direction.
“I’m sure it will be fine, mom,” you assure her.
“Oh, I’m sure it will be. I just got off the phone with your aunt and she’s on her way to her in-laws for the holidays. Are you taking time off this year, Y/N?”
Making a non-committal noise, you toy with your soup spoon.
“Maybe,” you say with a shrug. “The Inn is kind of slammed right now. I think I’ll be working over Christmas.”
“Hm.” Her brows knit together. “You know, Romel and I could always cut our trip short. We could come home, get a tree and you could stay with us. Or – we could come to the Inn!” she suggests. “We’d love to see you in action.”
“Mom – no, no,” you hasten. “I’ll be working, so I won't be able to spend time with you. Plus, you and Romel like traveling over the holidays. I’d feel bad forcing you to stay home.”
Your mom pauses. “Okay, well. Let us know if you change your mind, alright? We’re happy to come.”
“We are!” Romel yells in the background. “I’ve never skied, but if your mom can convince me to dive in the Mariana trench, I’m sure she can get me down a mountain!”
“It’s not the Mariana trench,” your mom laughs. “That’s in the Pacific. This is much less –”
Their conversation continues, and you find your gaze drifting towards the window. Lights sparkle against the dark snow, and you feel the slightest twinge of regret.
You know your mom means well and would change her plans if you asked. Selfishly, you enjoy working during the holidays. Your therapist once said you’re holding onto the past by not allowing new memories to replace the old, but it’s one piece of their advice you’ve yet to take.
Realizing your mom is saying your name, you blink and return to the present.
“Sorry, what?”
Your mom gives a rueful smile. “I was saying your dad would’ve loved visiting your Inn around Christmas. I’ve been following the Instagram account and your photos seem to get better every year.”
“Yeah,” you say quietly. “He would have loved it.”
Something tentative passes over your mom’s expression.
“Y/N,” she says, but before she can continue, the door bursts open behind you.
Light floods in from the hall and you twist around in your seat. Jungkook freezes on the threshold, and after a moment, you turn back.
“Mom, I have to go,” you say lowly. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Merry Christmas!”
She hesitates, as though wanting to continue, but nods.
“Merry Christmas,” she says. “Love you.”
“Love you,” you say, and hang up the phone.
Setting this on the table, you take a moment to composure yourself, then turn around. Jungkook continues to stand framed in the doorway, looking slightly awkward.
“Oh.” He glances into the hall. “I’m sorry for interrupting. I can leave if you want to finish your phone call. I didn’t mean –”
“No, it’s fine,” you say, pushing your chair back to stand. “Were you looking for something?”
Jungkook hesitates, glancing over your features. You wonder if he notices your red-rimmed eyes and hastily look down.
“Yoongi told me the view is best from this room,” he says, only to frown. “Are… are you okay, Y/N?”
You pause, considering.
“I don’t know,” you say at last. “How can you tell?”
Jungkook’s lips twitch as he steps fully in, letting the door shut behind him.
In the dim light, with him dressed in what looks like flannel pajamas, you aren’t sure how to act. Talking to your mom always leaves you feeling raw, as though her words grind away an outer layer.
“I’m probably not the best person to ask,” Jungkook admits. “I spend so long smiling for other people, it’s hard to know what’s real anymore.”
His words deflate you, a swift punch to your lungs. Hiding a wince, Jungkook comes to a stop several feet away.
“Sorry,” he says. “Too honest, huh?”
“Just honest enough. That… was my mom.”
“Ah.” Jungkook pauses. “Are you close?”
You look at him. Really look at him and try to see past who he was to you in college.
Jungkook is bigger than before. Broad showers, narrow waist and muscular thighs which strain his red pajama bottoms. He looks like a man, not a boy and you wonder if that’s so. Swallowing, you look up and find Jungkook focused on you.
“I – yeah,” you say. “And no. It’s complicated.”
His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I get that. I’ve been away from my parents for so long that at this point, it's just kind of… strange when I see them.”
“At least you have both of them.”
The moment the words leave your lips, you wish you could reach out and stuff them back in. You thought you were done being the jealous, angry child but something about being with Jungkook brings back the past.
He doesn’t seem to take any offense though, simply considers the statement.
“I – I’m sorry,” you stammer. “That’s not what I meant, I…”
“No, it’s fine,” Jungkook says. “You’re right. I do have them, and I’m lucky for it.”
“Yeah. But also, not everyone has good relationships with their parents. You shouldn’t have to appreciate them just for existing.”
Jungkook lifts a shoulder, then lets it fall. “And sometimes things are in-between. My parents are good people, but they’re closer to my brother because he was home. A lot of my growing up happened on my own. My parents are proud of what I’ve accomplished but in a lot of ways, they don’t understand me. Hard for anyone to understand, I guess.”
You stare at him a moment, unsure what to say.
It doesn’t seem you need to say anything, since Jungkook waits a moment, then looks out the window. Examining the mountains, he exhales and a similar peace to what you felt before passes over his features.
“You like being busy during the holidays,” he says.
It’s not really a question, but you answer anyway.
“I do.”
“I get that.” He nods. “I’m the same. Being at home just makes me feel more like an outsider.”
“Why are you telling me this?” you blurt, unable to hold it in any longer. “I mean, just… we don’t know each other well.”
Jungkook turns to look at you. “No, I guess not.” He pauses. “I’ve just spent a lot of holidays alone and thought… well, I don’t know. Thought you might want company.”
You stare at him another moment, something warm unfurling within your chest.
Jungkook doesn’t look away, and you wonder again how he can be the same person. According to Leslie, this is the guy who cheated on her. Not just cheated but let her walk in on him having sex with another person and simply brushed it off.
Strangely, the story is starting to feel like an outlier here. Based on everything you’ve learned about Jungkook so far, he doesn’t seem like the type of person who would hurt someone so carelessly. You wonder if maybe – possibly – you misjudged him.
“Yeah, okay,” you say finally. Turning around, you head for the couch by the windows. “Hoseok banned me from the kitchen, anyways. It’d be nice to have some company – quiet company,” you correct, glancing over your shoulder. “I’m not one of those people who talk to relax.”
Lips twitching, Jungkook nods and follows your lead.
True to your warning, he remains quiet while seating himself on the other end of the couch. Nearly three feet apart, he stares at the mountains in silence. You do the same, although every now and again, your gaze darts to Jungkook.
This is just for tonight, you tell yourself. A night of truce before returning to normal.
The next time you turn, Jungkook catches you looking and offers a smile. It transforms him, lighting up his features and you remember his comment from earlier. I spend so long smiling for other people, it’s hard to know what’s real anymore.
Oddly enough, you find yourself hoping he’s being real with you.
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“Twenty-five new bookings.” Namjoon looks up, impressed. “And it’s all thanks to Y/N’s genius live stream.”
Applause follows from Jimin and Hoseok, and you slump in your seat.
“But it wasn’t my idea,” you protest. “Jungkook decided to live stream when he took my phone. It was all him.”
“Still.” Namjoon opens his laptop. “Your Instagram posts have gotten more traction than anything else we’ve posted this year. Granted, half the comments are about how hot Jungkook is – but there are a lot of people saying how pretty the resort is, as well!”
Yoongi nods. “I’ve been fielding a lot of phone inquiries. People want to know if we’re full for New Year’s.”
“See?” Namjoon jabs a finger in your direction. “I was right. This is working!”
“For now,” you agree.
“That’s all we need.” Leaning back in his seat, Namjoon exhales. “We’ve got five more days of Jungkook, so let’s make the most of it. Any thoughts?”
After a pause, Jimin raises his hand.
“We’re making ornaments with the kids this week,” he says. “It seemed like Jungkook’s fans liked seeing him with children.”
“Good.” Namjoon types this up on his laptop. “I’ve got that down. What else?”
“Tree decorating,” says Yoongi. “Jungkook could decorate a tree in the lobby, or something.”
Behind Yoongi, the door to the conference room opens.
“Or cut down a tree,” Jimin offers. “People love that lumberjack stuff.”
“Yes, yes – great. What else?”
“I’m down for tree chopping,” Jungkook says as he enters. “It also might be fun to do a holiday movie marathon. We could set things up in the lobby and Hoseok could make more of that amazing hot chocolate.”
“Great idea,” says Namjoon, frantically typing. “And thanks for joining us, Jungkook. You can take the seat beside Jimin.”
Jungkook nods. Before sitting, he exchanges a complicated high five with Jimin which leaves you speechless. They must have been spending time together to make up something so intricate – opening your laptop, you pull up a chat with Namjoon.
Y/N: was it necessary to invite him?
Y/N: we don’t typically invite guests to staff meetings
“We invite guests to staff meetings when said guest has increased our bookings by fifty percent,” Namjoon says, answering your question out loud.
Glaring, you sit back and try to appear as innocent as possible. Namjoon is looking at you though, which makes it fairly obvious whose question he answered.
“Sorry,” you say, apologizing to Jungkook. “Typically, these meetings are staff only. I just wanted to be clear what we can discuss.”
“Totally understand,” Jungkook says, hiding his smile.
Internally, you curse Namjoon for constantly putting you through hell. Once you get through this week and collect your raise, you’re planning on never speaking to him again.
Hoseok clears his throat. “We could do a cookie-baking championship,” he suggests. “Shows like the Great British Bake-Off are huge. I’m sure Jungkook’s fans would love to see him baking.”
“That’s a great idea,” says Seokjin.
Even Yoongi nods at this. Hoseok beams and sits back, and you drum your pen on the table. You’re searching for a flaw but find nothing, much to your disappointment. It’s a great idea that’ll lend itself well to a dozen social media sites.
Already, you’re planning Instagram stories, before and after cookie photos and a Twitter poll for followers to vote on the winner. Before you can articulate any of this though, Yoongi lowers his phone.
“Who should participate in the cookie contest?” he asks, not looking your way.
You realize the suspiciousness of this the moment Namjoon avoids eye contact.
“Staff should join,” Namjoon says. “And some of the guests. Let’s post flyers in the lobby to gauge interest.”
“On it,” says Yoongi, taking note.
“Which staff,” you grind out.
Namjoon glances at you. “So, here’s the thing.”
“My fans like Y/N,” says Jungkook, surprising everyone. “So, Y/N should join.”
“I – what?” you say, taken aback.
It’s one thing to hear Namjoon say it. He’s in this to make money, increase follower count and gain bookings. It’s another entirely to hear Jungkook say it out loud, as the person for whom this could inevitably crash and burn.
Turning to face him, you meet his gaze. Jungkook sits slouched in his seat, legs spread in a way that makes your blood boil.
His brow sketches upwards. “You were on the live stream,” he explains, as though you haven’t seen. “A lot of my fans thought the fall was funny, and –”
“They find your dynamic interesting,” interrupts Namjoon.
Jungkook glances at Namjoon, and something unspoken passes between them. You find yourself wondering what Jungkook’s fans have said, but everything fades when Yoongi interjects.
“They thought Jungkook and Seokjin were funny, as well,” he says. “So, we should probably include Seokjin as a baker.”
“Done and done.” Namjoon nods.
“Whoa, hang on,” you sputter. “I didn’t agree.”
“Are you not a good baker?” Jungkook asks innocently. “Is that the problem?”
“There’s no problem.”
“No?” A teasing smile crosses his lips. “So, you’re in?”
Meeting his gaze, heat simmers, and you find yourself daydreaming about how satisfying it’d be to wipe the smirk from his face. The moment you think this, your gaze drops to his lips and now you’re thinking how soft they look.
“Fine,” you say tightly. “I’m in. Anything for the Inn, right?”
“Right,” Jungkook says, voice low.
He still doesn’t blink, and another moment passes before Seokjin clears his throat.
“I’m in, too,” he says loudly. “In case anyone was wondering.”
Looking away, you find yourself grateful for the interruption. There’s a current buzzing under your skin, as though you’ve stood outside in a storm.
“We weren’t,” Namjoon says pleasantly. “But thank you, Seokjin. Moving on.”
He continues with the list for the week, filling up Jungkook’s schedule. You do your best to focus, but it’s hard with Jungkook sitting across from you.
Whichever way you turn, you meet Jungkook’s gaze, and your stomach flip-flops. Jungkook must be continually watching since you seem to make eye contact with him without fail.
This is Jungkook, you remind yourself. He crushed your best friend in college, and he’ll crush you too, no matter how much you hope that he’s changed.
Something about this rings hollow, and you can’t help but call into question Leslie’s account of the story. It’s something you’ve been considering since late last night.
While you and Leslie were good friends in college, you’ve barely spoken in the years since. After graduation, you drifted apart. You moved to a new city, became known within the tourism industry and Leslie was struggling to find a new job. Things were strained until finally, Leslie stopped responding to your calls altogether.
You kept trying, even flying out to her city, but it soon became clear your friendship was best left in the past. Leslie ended up a kind of crappy friend in the end – a source of vindication for Taehyung, who hadn’t liked her from the start.
Still, it’s hard to shake the memory of Leslie after they broke up. She was genuinely hurt when things ended with her and Jungkook, no matter what happened to your friendship after. This is what you cling to, fortifying yourself against the effects of Jungkook’s gaze.
Unless – your instincts are right, and something about Leslie’s retelling was off. Sneaking another glance, you find Jungkook looking back and rather than turn, you meet his gaze head-on. Jungkook’s lips lift in a smile and now, it’s your heart that flip-flops.
Forcing yourself to look down, you realize you might be already in trouble.
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“Alright, so here’s the vision.” Yoongi opens his eyes. “There are eight contestants, all of whom are competing for the same prize: holiday cookie glory.”
You and Jungkook exchange a quick glance at your table.
Yoongi, for better or worse, has really gotten into his role as master of ceremonies. Much of the past hour has been spent listening to directions you consider unnecessary. Never before have you heard the word fondant said so often, nor with such enthusiasm.
You and Jungkook are at the same table, much to your dismay. Each contestant has been given a holiday apron to wear over their clothes. Yours says Santa’s Helper, while Jungkook has a cup of eggnog and says, I Put the Rum in Rum-Pa-Pum-Pum.
The rest of the aprons are normal – one designed to look like Santa’s coat, another like an elf, and then there’s Seokjin’s. An outline of Santa and the phrase I Do it For the Ho’s. Jimin put duct tape over the word Ho’s and wrote Cookies before approving for broadcast. Apparently, the competition is supposed to be family friendly.
Aside from you, Hoseok, Seokjin and Jungkook, four other chefs have been selected from the guests. Yoongi decided these on a first come, first serve basis. Currently, everyone has taken their place at long tables in the lobby. Other guests stop to watch the proceedings, some taking photos of Jungkook at your table.
Midway through Yoongi’s lecture on toppings, Jungkook leans over.
“Is he being serious,” he mutters, keeping his mouth as still as possible.
Your upper lip twitches. “Super serious, I think.”
Hearing your name said aloud, you snap to attention and realize Yoongi is glaring at you from the front.
Yoongi places both hands on his hips. All he needs is a cooking spoon to emulate your mother, scolding you for eating too many after-school snacks.
“Are you even listening?” he asks.
“Uh, yes. For sure. I’m listening.”
“Right. How long do you have to decorate your cookies, then?” Yoongi asks, testing your knowledge.
Swallowing, you start to panic a little – until you see Jungkook holding up a single finger.
“One minute,” you blurt.
Yoongi stares. “One hour, Y/N. Pay attention.”
Another guest raises their hand and Yoongi moves on. Keeping still, you wait until Yoongi answers before turning to Jungkook. He’s already laughing, both sides shaking as he tries to stop.
“It’s not funny!” you insist, although you smile.
“One minute?” Wiping his eyes, Jungkook straightens. “You wouldn’t even have time to roll the fondant.”
You groan. “If I never hear the word fondant again, it’d be too soon.”
He laughs again, throwing his head easily back. You didn’t think your joke was that funny, but Jungkook seems to find it hilarious. When he lowers his gaze, his eyes are bright.
“I take it you don’t watch a lot of holiday baking shows?” he teases.
“Nope. I’ve never made icing from scratch, let alone tried to decorate with it.”
Jungkook lifts a brow. “Revealing your weakness to the enemy?”
“Are you supposed to be my enemy?” you ask. “Forgive me for assuming the Olympic snowboarder doesn’t have much free time to bake.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I made cookies every Christmas Eve with my grandma until she passed away. I’m a pro.”
Sobering slightly, you watch as Jungkook reties the strings of his apron. He doesn’t look upset, but you recognize the dimness in his gaze, the way his lips tighten when he speaks in past tense.
“I’m sorry,” you say quietly.
He glances at you. “It was two years ago. Don’t worry about it.”
“Still.” You shrug. “It’s hard. My dad died eight years ago and it’s still difficult during the holiday season. Part of the reason I’m working, I guess.”
Jungkook hesitates, as though he wants to say more, but before he can start, Yoongi clears his throat.
“Five minutes!” he yells, stepping onto a chair. “Jimin” – he points a spoon, and Jimin waves – “will be streaming on Instagram during the competition. He’ll walk around, show viewers the cookie progress and post a Twitter poll at the end to decide the winner. Sounds good?”
“Yes,” the group choruses.
Yoongi nods, and steps down. Namjoon wanders over and the two begin speaking in hushed tones, with Namjoon gesturing at his phone. Shifting your weight to your heels, you scan the materials before you. Without something to do, you begin to reorganize.
Turning, you find Jungkook watching with an unreadable expression.
“Yes?” you ask, sliding a pastry cutter across the table.
“Are we… ever going to talk about college?”
Your fingers freeze halfway to the dye.
“I… what about college?” you stammer.
Jungkook tilts his head, as though to read your mind.
“I tried to talk to you – after,” he says, glossing over the word. “I saw you once in the library, and called out your name, but I don’t think you saw me. You were packing up your things…?”
He trails off, his words a silent question and you busy yourself with the sprinkles, your heart pounding erratically. You remember the night he’s talking about. It was the week before midterms, and you were holed up in your usual spot in the library. Jungkook entered with his usual entourage, and you remember being overcome by how casual he appeared.
He sat at a nearby table, and you attempted to ignore him but eventually had to move. When you began packing your things, Jungkook glanced up and saw you – and waved. You remember him calling your name, but you were too furious to respond.
Rather than confront him, you left.
Now though, you find yourself wondering.
It was strange for Jungkook to behave so normally in the library. He acted as though he hadn’t done anything, and wasn’t that a little confusing? If things occurred with Leslie the way she said they did, Jungkook would have acted differently.
At the time, you chalked it up to men being men, but maybe there’s more to the story. Before you can ask though, Yoongi hurries forward.
“Places, everyone – places!” he calls. “Is everyone ready? Baking materials ready to go?”
You nod and face forward, feeling oddly unsettled. Fingers hovering above your materials, you wonder why Jungkook would bring up that night. So many questions with little time for answers as Jimin scurries in place and points the phone’s camera at Yoongi.
With minimal theatrics, Yoongi kicks off the contest and explains its rules. Jimin follows Yoongi as he strolls down the aisles, stopping beside your table.
“And here we have the Inn’s general manager – Y/N!” Yoongi waits for you to wave. “And internationally renowned snowboarder, Jungkook Jeon!”
Jungkook also waves, ducking his head with a smile.
You used to think his bashfulness was for show, but the more time you spend with him, the more convinced you become that Jungkook is the real deal. His dichotomy is ridiculously attractive. With his eyebrow ring, lip ring and a full sleeve of tattoos, he could easily be intimidating – and yet, he wears holiday aprons, sleeps in red flannel pajamas, and has a goofball puppy.
Jimin and Yoongi continue to the next table, with Yoongi announcing the Bergman’s behind you. Glancing at Jungkook, you find him measuring ingredients.
Feeling you watching, he lifts a brow. “You ready, Y/N?”
“Born ready,” you say. “You know what they say around Christmas.”
“Never get involved in a land war in Asia?”
You laugh, surprised by The Princess Bride quote. “No. I was going to say you better not cry when you lose, but yours is better.”
Jungkook’s lips twitch but he doesn’t respond, and Yoongi yells, “GO!”
The cookie baking begins, its rules shouted by Yoongi while he walks around. An hour and a half for baking, an hour for decorating and ten minutes for plating.
Jimin wanders the room as well, catching shots of you sifting dry ingredients, cracking eggs, and getting flour everywhere. By the time you finish combining the wet and dry bowls, the words Santa’s Helper look more like Satan’s Helper on your apron.
You weren’t lying – you truly are terrible. Instead of adding the dry ingredients slowly, you dump them in at once and – poof – send flour flying. Your recipe requires an egg yolk, and you’re fairly sure some of the shell gets mixed in.
True to his word, Jungkook also told the truth. He really is good, and you watch open-mouthed while he mixes batter, rolls fondant, and gathers ingredients in the time it takes you to preheat your oven.
You had a vague, naïve hope you might win at the start but now, you’re simply hoping you don’t come in last. Returning from the bathroom, you scope out the competition and find – no surprise – Hoseok is kicking ass. He’s made some sort of chestnut praline cookie which looks both delicious and complicated. Seokjin has gone in the opposite direction with basic sugar cookies and icing that’s little more than reddish soup.
He seems to think he’s doing great though, based on the supportive words he croons at his batter. Returning to your table, you hesitate, then pick up powdered sugar.
“So,” Jungkook says casually. “Is there prize money attached to the competition?”
“Apart from your appearance fee?” you tease.
Glancing over, you immediately regret your decision. Jungkook has rolled up the sleeves of his sweatshirt while he works, and his forearm tendons are prominently visible. You stare at him, mesmerized before you regain composure.
“My appearance fee was for staying here,” he says with a grin. “A couple of Instagram posts. I don’t remember staff meetings being included.”
“What can I say? Namjoon likes to get his money’s worth.”
Jungkook laughs. “That’s for sure.”
“It was nice of you to agree to the discounted rate, though,” you add, voice lowered. “I don’t know that we could have afforded your actual retainer.”
He’s quiet for a moment, filling a pastry bag with colored icing. Tying off an end, he tests this on a napkin and appears satisfied by the result.
“Yeah, well.” Jungkook pauses. “Let’s just say, this came at a good time. I’ve been looking to lay low for a while.”
“What for? Crowd of admirers getting you down?”
Jungkook is silent, and after a moment, you glance sideways. Dropping your spoon back in the bowl, you find yourself stricken by the look on his face.
“I didn’t mean to –”
“No, it’s okay,” he says, looking up. “It’s just, you know – fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I know it’s a cliché, but it’s true.”
Nodding once, you pick up your spoon. “It does seem stressful. Always having to present a certain image to the public.”
“Yeah, it can be stressful.”
He says nothing more, and the two of you fall into a comfortable silence. Preparing your cookies for the oven, you lift the sheet and feel a hand on your wrist.
Surprised, you look sideways and find Jungkook before you. He hovers, gaze dropping minutely towards your lips. A streak of flour rests below his jaw, and you fight the sudden urge to wipe this away.
“I – yes?” you ask, breathless.
His gaze snaps upward.
“Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you know… that I’m happy I’m here.”
The words are innocuous, but the tone Jungkook uses is anything but. Staring back at him, you find yourself struggling to think of a response.
Before you can decide, Jimin pops up between you.
“What do we have here?” Gleeful, he films the withdrawal of Jungkook’s hand. “Y/N, how are your cookies coming along?”
Swiftly, you place the sheet on the counter.
“Terrible,” you say. “I’m awful at baking.”
“Better than Seokjin,” Jimin comments, zooming in on your tray. “Actually – I don’t know. It’s kind of a toss-up. Are these cookies supposed to be a specific shape?”
“They’re stars,” you say with a glare.
“Right, sure. And Jungkook.” Jimin turns the camera on him. “What were you doing before you decided to feel up our general manager?”
Jungkook’s cheeks turn bright red, and you would scold Jimin but are too preoccupied by how cute Jungkook looks. Unable to look you in the eye, he gestures towards his pristine tray of shortbread.
“I’m making alfajores,” Jungkook explains. “Once these are in the oven, I’ll work on the dulce de leche sauce and then, I’m adding some holiday touches.”
You and Jimin stare, open-mouthed.
Recovering fast, Jimin twists the phone around to show his expression. “You heard it here first, folks,” he announces. “Our sous chef, Hoseok, has some competition.”
Before Jungkook can protest, Jimin is already moving to the next table. He films the Ahn’s while you and Jungkook take your trays to the oven.
Time passes and by the time you’re plating, you’re well-aware your cookies are at the end of the spectrum. Not as bad as the Ramirez’, who burnt the bottom of their cookies, but nearly as bad as Seokjin’s utterly flat sugar cookies. (“Butter was too soft,” Jungkook mutters).
Once the cookies are plated, Yoongi makes a big deal of tasting while Jimin films. Hoseok has to hold you back when Yoongi tastes yours, makes a face and nearly spits it back on the tray. You complain he’s biasing the viewers, but Yoongi insists he’s telling the honest truth. You find out later he’s right when you taste your own batch.
The Twitter poll has only been up an hour when Jungkook is declared the winner. Hoseok is a clear second, although Jungkook’s fans all admit in the comments that Hoseok’s were better. You manage enough votes to refrain from last place, but not nearly enough to keep the teasing at bay.
Jungkook posts a selfie to the Inn’s story, proclaiming his win and you fight a smile when he returns your phone.
“You didn’t have to do that,” you tell him.
He shrugs. “I’m happy to help.”
You nod, but Jungkook continues to linger. He doesn’t seem to want to leave, and you feel your heart quickening the way it did earlier.
Namjoon appears by your side.
“Y/N, we have a problem,” he says grimly.
Startled, you turn and find Namjoon holding his phone. The print on his email is too small to read and so, taking this from him, you zoom in. After reading the first sentence, your eyes widen.
“Shit,” you mutter.
Jungkook glances between you. “What’s wrong?”
Seeming to realize Jungkook is there, Namjoon winces. “Nothing, nothing. Just a small issue with the Christmas Eve party.”
You nearly laugh at the understatement.
Based on the email, the chef catering Christmas Eve has come down with the flu and can no longer attend. As a gesture of goodwill, Namjoon gave the kitchen staff the night off and hired a catering company to run the Christmas Eve party.
Without a caterer, you’ll need to see if some of your employees can make it. Already you know this won’t work – most of the serving staff have plans with their families, and more than a few are planning to go out of town.
Rubbing your temples, you exhale. “Can we find someone else?”
“Who?” Jungkook asks.
“Our caterer for Christmas Eve pulled out,” you explain. “We need to find someone new, ASAP.”
“I have a few thoughts.” Namjoon pulls up another list on his phone. “I’ve made some calls, and most places are booked, but there’s a new restaurant in town that might be free. Only problem is, I’ve never eaten there, so I have no idea if the food is good, or–”
“We could try the place out,” Jungkook suggests.
Namjoon pauses. “You could… what?”
“We could do a test dinner.” Jungkook glances at you. “Y/N and I could eat at the restaurant, see what the food is like and report back.”
You stand there, open-mouthed, unable to believe what you heard. Jungkook said we – and doubled down by adding Y/N and I. That would mean you and Jungkook going alone.
For dinner.
“Well.” Namjoon shifts his weight to his heels. “That would be helpful. Are you sure you don’t mind?” he asks Jungkook. “You’re here on vacation. Some of the staff can go instead.”
You know Namjoon is walking a careful line between dismissing a guest’s suggestion, and not wanting to give work to your celebrity.
“I want to go,” Jungkook says seriously.
“Well.” Namjoon looks at you. “As long as it’s okay with Y/N.”
He’s giving you a way out and what you should do is take it. If you had any sense at all, you would not go to dinner with Jungkook.
“Yes,” you blurt. “I’ll go.”
Both of them stare at you, as though they expected you to decline. Unsure what to do next, you wait another moment, then nod.
“Well, alright,” you say briskly. “I’m going to bed. See you later.”
Before either can respond, you hurry away, untying the strings of your apron.
Once you reach your room, you slam the door and stand there for a moment, leaning your head to the wood. Once your breathing is under control, you open your eyes. Staring at the ski slopes, you force yourself to think calmly.
The night has been full of uncertainty – why would Jungkook bring up that night in the library? Why are you questioning Leslie? – and there’s only one person who can cut through the nonsense. Stepping into your room, you pull out your phone and dial a number.
Taehyung answers on the third ring.
“HELLO?” he yells, FaceTiming you from what’s clearly a bar.
Waving a hand, you smile at your best friend.
Taehyung calls, “WAIT A MINUTE,” and begins to maneuver outside.
You wait patiently while he does this, watching him open a door for his breath to immediately frost.
“Y/N!” Beaming, Taehyung pulls the screen closer until it’s only his eye. “What’s up?”
“Taehyung,” you say with a sigh. “I need help.”
Returning to a normal view, his brows lift. “You’re saying you need help? Oh man, this must be good. What happened? Avalanche?”
“Nothing like that,” you say, then pause. “Jungkook is here.”
Taehyung freezes, and for a moment you think the call has dropped. Then – a sharp bark of laughter, his camera jerking upward as Taehyung disappears from frame. The sound of him laughing drifts towards you and when Taehyung reappears, you glare.
“Jungkook, as in Jungkook?” he says gleefully. “As in, college Jungkook? Snowboarder Jungkook? Star of a thousand unfulfilled sexual fantasies Jungkook?”
“That’s the one. Minus the last bit.”
“Interesting.” Taehyung props his chin on his fist in mid-air. “So, what’s the dilemma?”
“The dilemma… is I think I agreed to go on a date with him.”
“With Jungkook.”
Taehyung laughs again. “Wow, okay. And again – what’s the problem?”
Your eyes widen. “The problem,” you hiss, voice dropping, “is Jungkook cheated on Leslie back in college! Or did you forget?”
You expect Taehyung to wince, recoil or curse Jungkook out and are surprised when he barely reacts. Slowly, he nods and looks away.
“And?” Taehyung asks.
Your jaw drops. “And – what? Jungkook cheated on Leslie! It crushed her! I know you never really liked Leslie, but even you have to agree cheaters suck.”
Taehyung considers, chewing his lower lip. “Okay, so. Don’t take this the wrong way –”
“When has something good ever followed that?”
“– but Leslie is a shady bitch.”
For a moment, you’re stunned.
“Taehyung…” You stare. “What are you talking about?”
He shrugs and rubs his temple. “I’m talking about how Leslie was with you versus how she was with other people. She was jealous, two-faced, and always talked about people behind their backs. Do you want to know the real reason you stopped being friends after college?”
You hesitate a moment before nodding.
“It’s because she was jealous,” Taehyung says bluntly. “Leslie liked to surround herself with hurt people because it made her feel better about herself. The second you started to do well, she cut you off.”
“That’s not true,” you blurt.
“Isn’t it?” He cocks his head. “The only reason I tolerated Leslie was because she made you happy, and things were pretty rough after your dad died. She was never a good friend though, Y/N. You deserved better.”
“I – are you drunk, Tae?”
“No.” He considers. “Well, yes. But that’s partly why I’m being honest.”
Shaking your head, you swallow. “So… you hated Leslie the entire time we were at college?”
“I didn’t hate her. But yeah, I didn’t trust her. Leslie was fun, but she only cared about herself.”
“Even if that’s true,” you say. “Even if Leslie was a terrible friend and only cared about herself – that doesn’t change the situation with Jungkook.”
“Doesn’t it?”
You give him a look. “Why would it?”
Taehyung shrugs. “I mean, I trust your judgment way more than I trust Leslie’s. I don’t believe you’d agree to go on a date with Jungkook if you thought he was truly terrible.”
When you stay silent, he lifts both brows.
“Well?” Taehyung asks. “Do you think Jungkook is a terrible person?”
“No,” you admit. “I don’t.”
“Well, then, there you go. Why don’t you just ask Jungkook what happened? Maybe it was all a big misunderstanding.”
“A misunderstanding where his dick slipped into the wrong person?”
Taehyung snorts. “Look, if he actually cheated on Leslie – yeah, that’s fucked. You should be wary. But if not…”
“If not?”
“I don’t know.” He pauses. “I feel like there’s more to the story.”
“Taehyung, you’re drunk,” you say with a laugh. “Any advice you give should be served with lime and salt.”
“What’s the worst that can happen?” he counters. “You go on this date, Jungkook confirms he cheated, and you get a free meal. Win.”
“Well, it’s not a date, per se.”
Taehyung pauses. “What do you mean?”
You explain about the canceled caterer and Jungkook’s proposal to test a restaurant in town. When you get to the part of becoming roped in, a familiar light enters Taehyung’s eyes.
“I see,” he says, drawling the word. “So, Jungkook has volunteered himself for a mission to save the lodge?”
“Kind of.”
“And, while you’re also going on said mission, he didn’t actually say the word date?”
“Well, no, but –”
 “Y/N.” Taehyung grins broadly. “Go get that superstar dick you want so badly.”
“Taehyung!” you sputter, nearly dropping your phone.
He’s cackling now, dancing around in the snow outside the bar. When Taehyung finally recovers enough to respond, both his nose and cheeks are red.
“Y/N,” he says seriously. “You clearly like this guy. I say, trust your instincts and go on the not-date. Then, let me know how good he is in bed.”
“Taehyung. I am not –”
“Yeah?” Taehyung yells offscreen. “Yeah, yeah – hang on! I’m dealing with a crisis!”
When he returns to the phone, you shake your head.
“Go inside,” you tell him. “Believe it or not, this was semi-helpful. Go have fun with your friends, okay?”
Taehyung grins. “Will do! Alright, cool – I’m going to go finish my drink. Text me tomorrow and let me know how it goes. And let me know when I can come visit this Inn!”
“Okay, will do.” You nod. “Bye!”
Yelling goodnight, Taehyung hangs up and you return to your home screen. Without your best friend’s yelling, the room feels strangely empty.
Turning around, you stare out the window and survey the slopes. Right now, Jungkook is probably returning to his room to feed Bam. Crossing the room to your bed, you open Instagram and scroll to the Inn’s page. Jimin has already uploaded several videos to your Story of the cookie competition.
Opening the first, you find a shot of Yoongi eating your cookie and nearly spitting it out. You look pissed, Hoseok’s arms around your waist to hold you back but it’s Jungkook, at your side, who catches your gaze.
He looks at you, eyes bright and it’s hard to believe someone with that expression could be capable of what Leslie said.
Taehyung is wrong, you realize. The worst that could happen isn’t a terrible date and a free meal. The worst thing that could happen is you fall for Jungkook, only for him to prove you right and break your heart.
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The next day dawns, bright and cold on the slopes.
Seokjin is up early with his beginner class, Hoseok bakes cookies for the Christmas Eve party and Namjoon is welcoming a visiting ambassador and her family. There are no events scheduled for Jungkook until the late afternoon, which means you find yourself pulled in several different directions.
After lunch, you head for Jungkook’s suite and run into him and Bam in the hall. Today’s photoshoot is of them in the snow. You’re saving shots of Jungkook snowboarding until the last day, when a sports photographer is visiting and has agreed to snap photos in exchange for a discounted rate.
Exiting the lodge, you squint at the brightness and pull out your sunglasses. Taking control of the shoot, you position Jungkook at the ski lift with the slopes in the background. Bam is enthusiastic about the photos, barking excitedly each time you toss snow in the frame. Once you have enough options for today’s Instagram post, the three of you head back inside for Hoseok’s hot chocolate.
Jungkook holds open the door, allowing you to enter and you can barely meet his gaze. You can’t stop remembering the cookie contest; the way he said your name, his vascular forearms, and the casual way he insisted on going to the restaurant together.
“So, I was thinking,” Jungkook says, interrupting your thought.
Glancing upward, you find him looking almost nervous. The main door to the lodge falls shut behind you, and you begin to unbutton the top of your coat.
“Thinking about what?” you ask.
“We should ride to the restaurant together tonight. I have a driver who can pick us up if you want. We could leave around… seven?”
“Seven sounds good,” you agree. “I can drive us though, Jungkook. I have a car.”
“I know. I just thought you might be more comfortable if you didn’t have to drive.”
Butterflies alight in your stomach, and you wonder what, exactly, he thinks might distract you.
“Just how drunk should I plan on getting?” you tease.
Jungkook’s cheeks flush. “You don’t have to drink,” he counters. “I just thought, with the snow and all –”
“I’m kidding, Jungkook,” you laugh. “A driver would be nice. Let’s meet in the lobby at seven?”
“Perfect.” His head bobs.
“I’m sorry about my outfit in advance,” you add, aware that you’re rambling. “I know this isn’t a date or anything, but I feel like I should dress nicely and all I have here is a single sweaterdress. So, I’m sorry.”
A wordless emotion passes over his features, although it’s gone so fast, you think you’ve imagined it. Did Jungkook think this was a date? If so, that wasn’t clear from your conversation with Namjoon.
Before you can press this issue, Jungkook takes a step closer. Glancing down, he pauses, and you breathe in his scent of cardamom and peppermint.
“I’m sure you’ll look beautiful,” he murmurs.
Before you can think of an appropriate response, Jungkook turns away.
“I’ll see you tonight,” he calls, heading down the hall.
You stare after him until, with a shake of your head, you realize you haven’t responded. If this is any indication of how tonight will go, you might be in trouble.
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You are in trouble, you realize, when Jungkook knocks on your door.
“Coming!” you yell, tossing your lipstick in your clutch.
Part of being general manager means you stay in one of the suites during peak season. It’s easier than driving back and forth into town; during the summer months, you rent an apartment but during ski season, it makes sense to live on site.
Hurrying through the front room, you yank open the door to reveal – Jungkook, looking immaculate. Words fail you momentarily, and you stare.
He’s dressed in a dark turtleneck covered by a blueish gray peacoat. His hair has been styled, pushed back from his face in a devastating manner. You’re so busy staring, you only realize belatedly he’s doing the same to you.
Eyes wide, Jungkook takes in your outfit.
“Wow,” he exhales. “I – you look amazing.”
On instinct, you glance down and check what you’re wearing. Your only formal dress has been saved for Christmas Eve, so tonight you chose a sweater and pants. Admittedly, the pants are kind of tight and the sweater is low-cut, but you didn’t have Jungkook in mind when you selected them. Definitely not.
To avoid seeming as though you planned this for him, you step into the hall and pull the door shut.
“Thanks,” you say, turning around. “Um, should we go? You know, to taste the menu. At the restaurant.”
Jungkook’s lips twitch. He nods, holding out a hand to gesture you first. You nod, walking past and attempting to conceal your rapid heartbeat. The elevator to the lobby is silent on the way down, and you glance sideways at Jungkook.
“Where’s Bam?” you ask.
Jungkook looks at you and again, you’re taken aback by how handsome he is. Taehyung’s words run through your mind, unbidden. You clearly like this guy. It’s incredibly annoying how Taehyung is always right.
“He’s with Jimin,” Jungkook answers. “Bam had a love at first sight moment.”
You laugh, facing forward. “A lot of people tend to have that moment with Jimin.”
It could be nothing, but you swear Jungkook stiffens slightly at your comment. Before either of you can continue, the elevator dings and you enter the lobby.
His car waits at the curbs, idling with the driver in its front seat. The moment you exit the Inn, your breath frosts, and you shiver. Luckily, the backseat is heated, and you let out a sigh as your butt hits the leather.
Following quickly, Jungkook shuts the door and gives his driver the address. Settling in, Jungkook gazes out the window as the car pulls away. The drive is a fantastic view, you must admit.
Hammond is the town closest to the Inn, a tiny place with only a few thousand locals. They go crazy around Christmastime, with what seems like a tree for each permanent resident. The Inn is situated above Hammond in the mountains, but its lights are visible as you wind down the road.
“I’m sorry if I forced you into coming tonight.”
Surprised, you glance sideways and find Jungkook looking back.
“I – well, you didn’t force me. I could’ve said no.”
He gives a half-smile. “I guess. I only wanted to help, but I got the impression Namjoon wouldn’t trust a stranger to judge a restaurant’s cooking.”
“You’re right about that,” you admit.
“We don’t have to sit together if it makes you uncomfortable. I can sit at a different table, or –”
“Jungkook,” you interrupt. “I’m glad we’re going together. Okay?”
Visibly relaxing, he sinks in his seat. “Oh. Okay.”
Hiding a smile, you look out the window and watch the town grow gradually closer. The drive to Hammond is one of your favorite parts of the Christmas season. It’s almost a shame you need to live at the Inn every December. Lights are wrapped around each available surface, covering trees, poles and crisscrossing the road overhead.
Jungkook marvels at this, and you nearly smile. Catching yourself just in time, you shift in your seat to look out the window.
Ten minutes later, you’re pulling in front of a snow-dusted awning. Rosa’s says the placard hung above the restaurant. The place looks idyllic, set with the mountains in the background.
You’re so focused on this that you fail to look where you’re going when you step from the car.
“Ah!” you yelp, sinking ankle-deep into snow.
“Are you okay?” Jungkook rushes around.
Shaking your foot free, you wince. “Yeah,” you sigh, stepping onto the sidewalk. “Apart from a complete lack of coordination.”
“You hide it so well, though,” Jungkook says, offering an elbow.
Accepting this, you allow him to lead you inside. Jungkook’s expression is deadpan, until he sees you looking and grins.
Realizing he was joking, you laugh. It slips out before you can stop it and Jungkook’s smile brightens to an unnatural degree. It rivals even the Christmas lights as you enter Rosa’s.
Stopping at the hostess stand, Jungkook gives his last name, and you wait to be seated. You asked Namjoon if he wanted this to be an official tasting, or just a blind test of the food and he preferred the latter. So now, you and Jungkook are led to a quiet corner table with a view of the mountains.
Jungkook seats himself across the table, pulling out the menu to frown at its contents. He’s a concentrated reader, you realize – full of furrowed brow and slightly moving lips. You’re too busy watching Jungkook instead of your own menu, so when he looks up and asks what you’re drinking, you have no idea.
“Uh,” you say, glancing down and saying the first thing you see. “I’ll have an old fashioned.”
His brows arch. “You like whiskey?”
“Sure,” you say, laying your menu flat. No chance of backing out now. “Don’t you?”
“Nope.” Casually, Jungkook follows suit. “Way too strong. I like sweeter drinks. I think I’ll get a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.”
“… in the winter?”
Unconcerned, he shrugs.
Something inside you twists. You like this about him. You don’t want to and yet, you like the fact that Jungkook orders the drinks he wants when he wants and doesn’t care what people say.
The waiter stops at your table and, after giving your order, silence falls between you. You glance out the window and in the corner of the room, a pianist starts playing Have Yourself a Merry Christmas.
“Do you eat in town often?”
When you glance back, you find Jungkook looking at you.
“No, not really,” you say. “Hoseok’s cooking pretty much tops everyone else.”
“True.” Jungkook pauses, then adds, “But where do you go when you go out?”
“You know, with friends. Or on dates.”
“Dates?” you say, blinking.
His brow furrows slightly. “Do you not date, then?”
“I…” Fiddling with the edge of your napkin, you try not to think about the handsome man seated across the table and how this isn’t a date. “There aren’t a lot of options at the Inn.”
“I mean, there’s a bunch of guys there. Seokjin, Jimin, Hoseok…”
“Not really interested.”
“I’m straight,” you say, and he nods. “What about you?” you ask, changing the subject. “I’m sure people must be throwing themselves at your feet.”
The arrival of your drinks interrupts the conversation, and you patiently wait while the waiter retreats. Picking up his glass, Jungkook swirls it once before taking a sip.
“I guess,” he says. “It’s hard to date seriously with all of my traveling.”
“I feel like some people wouldn’t mind.”
Jungkook pauses, then looks at you quizzically. Before he can follow up, the waiter stops by to take your dinner order. Once he disappears, you lean forward.
“Can I be honest?”
Jungkook pauses. “Go ahead.”
“You’re not what I expected,” you say.
He seems vaguely amused. “What were you expecting?”
“Well. I… didn’t have the greatest impression of you back in college.”
Jungkook goes still, and your courage slowly drains.
Taehyung wanted you to ask Jungkook what happened with Leslie, but facing him now, you find yourself at a loss. If you fuck things up, there are still several more days left to go on his contract. It would be stupid to ruin this just to give yourself peace of mind.
That’s what you tell yourself the reason is, anyways. Not that you’re a coward and asking him for the truth and it being unfavorable would potentially break you.
Jungkook lowers his glass. “What was your impression of me back in college?”
“I thought…” After a moment of hesitation, you go with the easy answer. “You went from girl to girl. You always had a crowd of people around you.”
“You thought I was a player.”
It’s close enough to the truth that you nod.
Jungkook’s expression is oddly intent. “And what do you think now?”
“Now…” You force yourself to hold his gaze. “I think my impression of you may have been wrong.”
Something in his eyes lightens. In the corner of the room, the pianist begins to play O Tannenbaum.
Changing the subject, Jungkook asks about Christmases spent with your mom. You explain about Romel and before that, your mom and dad together. Speaking about your dad is hard, but Jungkook is patient and before long, you find the words pouring out.
He responds in kind, explaining he has a younger brother but they’re not super close. All the years spent touring and training took their toll. Jungkook plans to train for the next Winter Olympics and then, he thinks he might be done.
“It takes up a lot of time,” he explains as your dinner arrives. “I’d love to be able to just relax and figure out who I am off the slopes.”
“I can’t even imagine the type of pressure you’re under,” you say, taking a bite of your pasta. So far, the food has been excellent – Namjoon will be happy to have a crisis averted. “Having so many people watch you. Knowing a single run counts for everything.”
Jungkook nods. “Yeah. It never gets easier, either. Some of the novelty wears off, but the pressure just changes – never decreases.”
“And after your last run,” you blurt without thinking. “The one during last year’s Winter Olympics. How can you even top that? I remember the announcer said it was the cleanest, most difficult pass they’d ever seen and – what?” you say, noticing his expression.
“Nothing.” Jungkook’s lips twitch. “I didn’t realize you were a fan.”
Immediately, your cheeks heat. “I’m not. I just watched the Olympics, that’s all.”
“Hm. Who won men’s curling, then?”
“Well, that’s not fair,” you say. “No one watches that.”
“More should.” Jungkook grins. “That’s not the point, though. The point is you watched my run and thought I was good.”
“I know you’re just fishing for compliments,” you say, “but you deserve to hear how awesome you are. I mean, I’m sure you hear it all the time. I haven’t told you that yet, though.”
“No,” he says softly. “You haven’t.”
There’s weight to his words beyond the usual meaning. For a moment you stare, pasta forgotten on your fork.
“For what it’s worth,” Jungkook continues, “I couldn’t do your job, either.”
“Oh, really? You’re literally doing my job right now.”
He shakes his head. “I’m just posing for photos with my dog in the snow. I’m glad I can help, but I could never do what you do for the Inn. I see the way people look at you, the way they gravitate to you for advice. What you do is important, so don’t say that it’s not.”
His words steal your breath away and oh, now you’re in danger. Before, you thought you could go to dinner and keep things professional but there’s nothing professional about the sudden urge to climb over the table, straddle Jungkook’s thighs and kiss his damn mouth to keep him from saying such wonderful things.
“I don’t know,” you say when you’re able to speak. “You’re impressing an entire nation, Jungkook.”
His gaze ignites at your words. “I don’t really care about the nation right now.”
Your body’s response is immediate and visceral. Thighs pressed together, your fingers tighten on the napkin – not tapping, for once. Right now, your attention is focused solely on Jungkook.
Dinner slips past, with conversation and wine flowing. By the time you return to the Inn, you’ve texted Namjoon several smiley faces and fifteen thumbs-ups about the restaurant. He tells you to go tf to sleep and turns off his phone, which you show to Jungkook and results in a near-minute of laughter.
You realize you’re tipsy after you pay – Namjoon gave you his credit card – and step outside. Snow is falling, light flakes falling from a grayish sky. Turning around in a circle, you stick out your tongue to catch two or three.
Jungkook watches in amusement from a few feet away.
“Brr,” you say, moving closer. “Aren’t you cold?”
“A little,” he admits. “My driver should be here soon. I texted him when we paid.”
“Okay, cool.”
You continue to shiver though and after a moment, Jungkook steps closer and unzips his coat.
“Here,” he says. “The lining is down, so it’ll be warmer than your peacoat.”
A moment of hesitation follows, then you slowly step forward to slide your arms around his waist. A million thoughts are running through your mind – this is Jungkook – but all of them quiet at the scent of peppermint and cardamom.
“I like your cologne,” you mumble, turning your face into his sweater.
Jungkook chuckles, shaking your frame.
“Thanks,” he murmurs, and you hear where the words start inside his chest.
You listen to Jungkook’s heartbeat, loud and clear. Its thumps are uneven, as if Jungkook might be as nervous as you are. Forcing yourself to exhale, you tilt your chin up to his.
Jungkook stares back and, after a moment, closes his arms around you.
It’s been a long time since you allowed yourself to care during this time of the year. Longer since someone made you want to try. For so long, you’ve kept yourself hidden because if the feelings can’t reach you, they can’t hurt you.
In the snow with his arms wrapped around you, you find yourself wondering if maybe, this was a form of hurting itself.
Headlights swing onto the street and, recognizing the car, you take a reluctant step back. Jungkook opens the door, letting you in and following suit.
The way to the Inn is quiet, a different sort of tension in the space between you. Subtly, you move your hand closer on the leather seat.
Jungkook shifts, barely noticeable and ends up slightly closer. The heat from his hand is a tangible weight against your pinky finger. Something curls in your gut as you stare straight ahead.
Outside of Hammond, there’s barely any lights except the car’s headlights. In the corner of one eye, Jungkook’s profile is barely visible against the dark of the night. On the seat between you, his hand shifts even closer.
You still when his thumb lightly brushes your finger. Without speaking, Jungkook takes your hand and gently flips it over. Lightly, his index finger drags down the center of your palm.
Inhaling slightly, your fingers curl around his. You see Jungkook smirk, and he does it again. And again – until you can no longer stand it, twisting sideways to face him.
His eyes are nearly black with hunger, mirroring your own. Your lips have parted on instinct, and his gaze drops to them as though drawn.
The car beneath you has slowed and far in the distance, you see lights from the Inn. Your stomach plummets at this because it’s too soon. You want to stay here forever, in this half-space with him. With a large amount of effort, Jungkook looks over your shoulder and the car comes to a stop.
“We should go in,” he says, little more than a rasp.
“Mm. We should.
You don’t move though, and neither does he.
“Y/N… we should go in,” he exhales, sounding pained. “You only just started giving me the time of day. I’d hate to ruin things by moving too fast.”
He’s right. You know Jungkook is right and somehow this makes you want him even more. When he reaches across you to open the door, you grasp his jacket.
Jungkook stills, turning his head.
You hesitate, then kiss him before you lose the nerve. Just once, to see what it feels like – but as you start to pull away, Jungkook’s hand comes up and cups the back of your head. He pulls you closer, kissing you deeply as you lose your breath.
Before you can fully dissolve, Jungkook lets go and moves himself backwards. His breathing is heavy, staring at you as though he thinks he might fall.
“Well.” Jungkook exhales. “That was –”
“Goodnight,” you squeak, and push open the door.
He blinks. “Y/N…”
“Nope,” you say, whirling around. “I need to go. Now. Before I change my mind and ruin what you said you wanted.”
Jungkook’s jaw works, and you know what he’s thinking. He’s thinking you could both head inside right now, rip off each other’s clothes and destroy everything he said about going slow. If you did that though, there’s no telling which of you would still be here when you wake up tomorrow.
“Fine,” he says. “Yes. Go inside.” Groaning, Jungkook flops back on the seat to press both fists to his eyes. “I need a fucking cold shower.”
You laugh in surprise, spinning around to enter the Inn. Snow is starting to fall as you push open the door and you feel your heart soar.
For the first time in ages, the holidays feel magical. When you glance behind you, Jungkook is grinning, and you wave at him once before disappearing.
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The sun shines brightly when you wake the next morning. Jungkook and Seokjin head out for an early run on the slopes – a snowstorm is coming according to the local weatherman, so you’ll need to have guests inside before dinner.
Passing behind the front desk, you take off your snow boots and slip into heels. Most of the patio furniture has been secured, except for the ones being currently used by the guests. Yoongi is busy checking in a large group, so you hurry to the counter and put on a bright smile.
“How can I help you?” you ask the next person in line.
An older man in a bright-orange parka steps around his suitcase.
“Hi, there!” he says with a smile. “My wife and I are checking in. Last name is Henderson.”
His wife, staying behind with the bags, offers a wave. You smile, then busy yourself at the computer. Once their paperwork and deposit have been received, you reach below the desk to hand them their key.
“These are yours,” you instruct. “You’ll be in room twenty-nine, which is upstairs and down the hall to your left. Elevators are ahead. Do you need any help with your bags?”
“Oh, no – no,” the man says, turning towards his wife. “Still enough gumption in me yet. Have a nice day!”
They exit the lobby, and once they’ve disappeared, you check the screen to see how many more people have yet to come in. As much as you hate to admit, Jungkook’s presence has increased your sales tenfold. Currently, you’re sold out through February and things don’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon.
Okay, maybe you don’t hate to admit it. Jungkook has proven himself to be exactly the opposite of who you thought he was. His kiss continues to linger in your mind – his uneven breathing, the way his chest rose and fell. How he had to physically pull away, rather than move things any further than would be smart.
When you do let him in, it might ruin you.
Letting Jungkook in would change everything and strangely enough, you think you might want that. You’ve been stuck in the same place for so long now, too terrified of being hurt to take any chances and maybe that was okay five years ago, but now –
“Excuse me?”
Head snapping upward, you realize a guest is standing before you.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you say, straightening. “How can I help?”
Exhaling deeply, the woman rolls her eyes.
Minutely, your smile tightens. High maintenance. Years spent in the service industry have taught you the signs. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not always the people wearing designer labels who suck. It’s those who have a certain air, a certain look, a certain my time is worth more than your time attitude.
“I’m here to check in,” she says – slowly, as though you might be hard of hearing.
Nodding once, you pull up the reservation list. “Last name?”
“Really?” She stares.
Fingers pausing on the keyboard, you look up again. The woman has that over-tanned, over-coiffed look that’s popular on the west coast, but you honestly have no idea who she is.
Yoongi’s disappeared, otherwise you’d call him over. Something about his demeanor makes even the most narcissistic starlets drop their attitude.
“I’m sorry,” you apologize, not knowing what for. “I need a last name and ID to complete the check-in process. Hotel policy.”
The woman rolls her eyes, fishing around in her Birkin bag for her wallet. Pulling out a Nevada driver’s license, she plunks this down on the counter along with her black card.
Smiling politely, you pick them up. Anya Ajanovic. That’s her name, and it rings zero bells. As quickly as possible, you run her name through the system. The faster you get her into a room, the faster she’s out of your presence.
“I see you’re staying at the Inn for four nights, Ms. Ajanovic,” you say pleasantly. “Is that correct?”
“Yes,” she says, glancing around the room. “Four nights.”
Nodding, you reach below the desk for a key. The lake suite is available, and you get the feeling Anya won’t tolerate less than the best. Well – second-best, since your best suite is currently taken by Jungkook.
Glancing up, you’re forced to concede Anya is pretty. With lustrous blonde hair and bright hazel eyes, she looks like Skiing Barbie made by Mattel. She continues to scan the lobby while waiting, as though looking for something.
“Your room is ready,” you say pleasantly. “Is there anything else you need during your stay?”
“No” – craning her neck, Anya twists around – “no, I don’t think so.”
“Alright.” You pause, sliding her key over the counter. “It’s just… you seem to be looking for something.”
“Oh.” She glances at you and for the first time, looks almost bashful. “I’m searching for my boyfriend, actually. I wanted to surprise him for the holidays. I was supposed to have work, but I managed to get off and here I am! Embarrassing, right?” A small laugh follows. “I always swore never to chase a man and here I am, chasing him. It’s downright Hallmark.”
A leaden weight thumps in your stomach and without quite knowing why, you swallow.
“Your boyfriend… is staying at the Inn?”
Nodding once more, Anya scans the lobby. “Mhm,” she says, sounding distracted. “Jungkook Jeon. Do you know him?”
A loud ringing fills your ears.
She continues to speak, but everything Anya says seems to come from underwater. Your fingers tighten on the desk, gripping to the point of property damage.
No. Not possible.
Not possible for this woman – this terrible woman – to be dating Jungkook, because that would mean… Leslie was right.
Heat replaces ice in your veins, searing you from the inside out. Leslie didn’t lie to you back in college. Jungkook really did cheat on her, and now you’re stuck in the same web.
You’re an idiot. A complete idiot because you watched this happen before and thought yourself impervious. You thought Jungkook had changed when he’s been the same guy all along.
Tugging your turtleneck from your collar, you glance around again for Yoongi. He’s still checking people in, which leaves you stranded with Anya.
“Oh,” you say, strangled. “Jungkook Jeon, the snowboarder – right?”
Her eyes widen. “Yes! Oh, right. I always forget that people know him. I don’t really follow sports, you know?”
“Mhm,” you say tightly.
You shouldn’t care. You really shouldn’t care who Jungkook decides to date, but you do. The fact that he chose Anya over you hurts worse than if he’d simply not been interested.
Nodding, she doesn’t seem to be listening to your responses. “Anyways,” Anya says. “I’m going to head to my room and freshen up. Want to look my best when he sees me. What’s the room, again?”
“The lake suite,” you say, giving her directions.
Flagging down a valet, you ask them to assist Anya with baggage. Spending another second in her presence would be more than you can bear. Once she’s disappeared, you sag against the front counter.
Jungkook lied.
He said it was hard to date because of travel when meanwhile, he’s been in a relationship with this wannabe Kardashian. Worse, he kissed you last night. He made you feel special while he was dating someone else. That bright, rosy feeling Jungkook gave you has died, shriveled against the cold light of reality.
The facts are so appalling that for a moment – only for a moment – you wonder if they’re true. Maybe Anya is mistaken but as soon as you think this, you dismiss it. The facts are the facts – anything else would be denial.
Clutching the counter, you force yourself to breathe. In and out, over and over until –
Yoongi’s voice cuts through the haze.
Slowly, you look sideways and find him standing beside you. When he sees your expression, Yoongi does a double take.
“What’s wrong? Was it that woman you checked in?” His gaze narrows. “I heard her driver complaining after dropping her off. Apparently, he was taking too long. Around switchbacks!” Disgusted, Yoongi shakes his head. “If she wants to fly off the mountainside, that’s her prerogative, but don’t take the staff with you – you know?”
Although you attempt to smile, your lips don’t appear to be in working order.
Yoongi hesitates. “You should get some water,” he says, steering you towards the break room. “Go and sit down. I have the front desk covered.”
“Thanks,” you whisper, turning away.
You make it all of five steps before realizing facing other people is the last thing you want. Taking an abrupt left, you bypass the break room and cut through the lobby. It’s well past your lunch break, and you plan on spending the entirety of it holed up in your room, eating Christmas cookies and having a good cry.
After which you will pull yourself together. This is nothing. Jungkook means nothing.
Except – your feet move faster – you know this isn’t true. You basically admitted to yourself you were falling for him, and likely have been since he arrived at the Inn.
Turning the corner too fast, you nearly run smack into Jimin.
“Whoa – hey, Y/N!” Grinning, he side-steps you. “Where’s the fire?”
“I – nowhere.” You force a laugh. “Just in a hurry to eat, I guess.”
Pausing, Jimin surveys you a beat too long.
Heart seizing, you find yourself full of the terrifying possibility that Jimin knows. He knows you’ve fallen for a man you professed to hate and now, his real girlfriend has come to pull the rug out from under you.
Suddenly, the lodge seems too small to contain your feelings. You don’t want to stay in and wallow – you want to go out and do something, release some of this pent-up frustration coursing through your veins.
“Well, if you’re not too busy after lunch,” Jimin says slowly. “Jungkook was looking for you. He and Seokjin are done snowboarding, so he’s back at the lodge.”
“Oh,” you say tightly. “How nice for him.”
Jimin pauses. “Y/N. Is everything –”
“Got to run,” you say, rushing past before he can say anything more. “See you later, Jimin! Thanks for letting me know about Jungkook.”
Biting your tongue, you refrain from adding a quippy remark about Anya.
Instead, you head for your room. If Jungkook has left the slopes, then that’s exactly where you want to be. Changing into your snow gear, you grab a parka and are gone before you can talk yourself out of it.
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Just one run, you tell yourself while standing in line for the ski lift. There are fewer people on the slopes already, preparing for the snowstorm that’s coming this evening. Already, dark clouds gather on the horizon – far enough away for you not to be worried.
The last place anyone would think to look for you is the mountain and right now, you’re in desperate need of alone time. Jungkook is employed by the Inn for another two days, and you can’t afford to alienate him before then. This poses a problem, since you’re certain the moment you see Jungkook, you’ll have a difficult time staying civil.
Exhaling, you lower your ski goggles and step onto the lift. Settling onto the icy cold seat, you close the bar and try to relax. Easier said than done, although the lodge is beautiful in the waning light. Heat lamps have been positioned around the patio, and lights from the Christmas tree are visible through the bay windows.
Tomorrow is the Christmas Eve party, and you’re praying a good night’s sleep will help you navigate. The holiday movie marathon is tonight with Jungkook, but you’re hoping you can convince Namjoon to hold it without you.
At the top of the ski lift, you open the seat bar and ski to one side. Squinting through your goggles, you glance at the trails. Snow drifts have already piled up around the signs, making them hard to read. You’ll need to let Seokjin know this once you reach the bottom – it could be a safety hazard not to clearly mark the trails.
Pushing off, you select the trail with the easier drop. Last time you came up here, you nearly went down the black diamond trail by mistake. Hovering at the trail’s edge, you adjust your goggles and stare at the slope.
You can do this. Take the nervous energy and use it.
Pushing yourself from the edge, you tip down the hill. Tucking both arms into your sides, you squint through the wind as you rush away. The path turns, veering right and as you round the next corner, your stomach plummets.
This slope is steep.
Much steeper than expected. Frantic, you glance over your shoulder and see the trail marker you must have missed in the snow. A double black diamond.
Heart leaping into your throat, you face forward. You can do this, you determine. All you need to do is stay calm, keep your feet steady and snowplow. Angling your skis closer, your speed gradually slows – until your entire body pitches forward. Immediately jerking backwards, you grit your teeth.
You will make it to the end. Once you’re back at the lodge, you’ll have a big laugh with Seokjin about this in front of the roaring fire – after he scolds you for being an idiot, of course.
Wind rushes past, and after another few moments, you begin to relax. The trail is almost peaceful when it’s so empty. Giant, fluorescent lights brighten the trail from above. Whizzing over the snow, a flutter of butterflies erupt in your stomach but this time, they don’t seem as scary.
Breaking into a grin, you bend your knees and zip around the next corner –
And come face to face with a deer.
You yelp, swerving sharply to avoid a collision. Startled, the deer leaps from your path and you breathe, facing forward – only to gasp.
Pine trees rise from the snow, and you barely manage to avoid the first one. The second is easier but as you swerve around the third, you feel your ankle twist.
Pain lances upward and you swear. Feeling yourself falling, you recall Seokjin’s lesson and throw your weight backwards. You land hard on your ass, the breath knocked from your lungs.
For a moment, there’s silence.
When you push up your goggles, dark sky is visible through the branches above. Shakily, you lift yourself to a seated position. Your ankle throbs and when you reach for your foot, a hiss escapes at the pain. Unclipping both boots from the skis, you toss them aside and attempt to stand.
“Fuck,” you blurt, collapsing back in the snow.
Placing weight  on your ankle is nearly impossible. Glancing around your surroundings, you realize the slope is at least fifteen yards away. Far in the distance, you can make out the shouts of other skiers.
Leaning forward, you call, “HELP! SOMEONE – HELP! I’M IN THE FOREST.”
Although you wait, no one shouts back.
Flakes start to drift from the sky, and you look up in alarm. That can’t be good. Twisting around, you continue to yell until the distant sound of skiers has disappeared. Panicked, you realize you aren’t getting down without walking.
Steeling yourself, you scoot closer to a tree and grasp a bough overhead. Keeping weight off your ankle, you pull yourself upward. Teeth gritted, you slowly take a step and feel your knee buckle.
“Fuck,” you breathe, tears pricking your eyes.
The snow has begun to fall faster, and you’re stricken by the realization you might not make it down. Lowering yourself to the ground, you begin to crawl towards the trail. Slowly, you move, cursing yourself for not bringing your cell phone. There’s no service on the mountain, but at least you could change your outgoing message.
By the time you reach the run, your breathing is heavy. Pausing at the base of a light post, you try not to give in to the panic clawing your chest.
A storm is coming, and you’re stranded alone on a mountain with a twisted ankle. It was stupid of you to come up here. Stupid to mix up the trails. Stupid to give Jungkook a chance.
This one, at least stings less than the rest, so you slowly exhale and force yourself to think. Shelter. You need to find shelter if you can’t make it back to the lodge. The wind howls again, and you open your eyes, determined to keep going.
Before you can move though, someone shouts your name.
Frozen, you squint through the whirling snow. Nothing but the gray-dark of the mountain stares back. Snow obscures your vision, leaving nothing but pine trees and –
A brief flash of red.
Squinting harder, you watch a shape emerge from the storm. Zigzagging down the mountain, headlights appear and disappear amidst piles of snow. Staring in shock, you wonder if you’ve begun to hallucinate. You’ve heard of this happening in the desert when travelers imagine water where there’s none to be found.
Just as you think this, a red snowmobile comes into view.
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Its headlights cut through the snow, ice and slush spraying as it comes to a stop. Heart leaping, you try not to move when you recognize the Inn’s logo. Most likely it’s Seokjin out for a final sweep before he shuts down the lift.
Cutting off its engine, the driver pushes up his goggles. Swinging a leg over, he dismounts and snow crunches beneath his feet.
Recognizing the voice, you go utterly still. The lights of the snowmobile illuminate Jungkook rushing towards you, dropping to his knees.
“Y/N,” he breathes, scanning your body. Spotting your hands clutching your ankle, he frowns. “What’s wrong? Did you hurt yourself?”
“Yes,” you say – then you remember.
Jungkook has a girlfriend. He lied about it to your face.
Immediately, you stiffen. “I mean, yes but don’t worry about me. I’m sure I can make it down the mountain. I just need to rest, and –”
“And what?” Jungkook’s expression sharpens. “Roll yourself down the mountain? Die of hypothermia before you reach the bottom?”
Scowling, you attempt to hold the high ground.
“I’m not dying of hypothermia,” you say. “It’s not that cold.”
“It’s about to be,” Jungkook counters. “I – why are we even arguing about this?” Lifting a walkie-talkie, he presses a button on the side. “Seokjin? This is Jungkook. Over.”
There’s a crackle on the other end, and Seokjin comes through.
“Did you find Y/N?” He sounds frantic. “Where is she?”
“East side of the mountain. Gully run.” Clicking off the speaker, Jungkook says, “What were you doing, trying this run by yourself? This is a double black diamond, Y/N.”
Your scowl deepens. “I know. The sign was buried in snow, so I didn’t realize. Seokjin, I’m fine,” you say, reaching for the walkie-talkie. “I just twisted my ankle a little.”
“A little?” Jungkook demands. “Can you even stand?”
Seokjin’s voice crackles through the speakers. “You hurt your ankle?”
“Yes,” you say, then pause. “And no, I can’t put weight on it.”
“Y/N.” Seokjin groans.
Jungkook takes back the walkie-talkie. “It’s alright,” he says. “I’ll get her back. What’s the quickest way down the mountain?”
“How high up are you?”
“Pretty high.” Jungkook glances around. “I wasn’t far down the run when I saw broken branches.”
Looking over his shoulder, your stomach churns when you realize you need Jungkook’s help. You’re not so prideful you’d risk your health by denying his assistance, but damn, do you wish Jungkook were anyone else.
On the other end of the walkie-talkie, Seokjin swears and Jungkook’s gaze darts in your direction, lips tight.
“What’s the fastest way down?” he repeats.
Seokjin’s voice muffles, then is cut off. After a moment of waiting, Jungkook sits back on his heels. Tearing off one glove with his teeth, he unzips a bag at his waist.
“What are you doing?”
Jungkook looks up. “Searching for gauze. At the very least, I can wrap your ankle.”
“But it’s freezing outside. That’s not –”
“Jungkook – you there?”
Snatching the walkie-talkie from the snow, Jungkook presses the button. “Yeah, I’m here. What’s up?”
“The fastest way down is the gully run, but there’s a line of weak snow halfway down the mountain. It was okay this morning, but with the storm…”
Jungkook exhales. “Could trigger an avalanche.”
Eyes wide, you glance at his snowmobile. Something that heavy would be a definite risk to drive if conditions are right for shifting snow.
“Is there another way down?” Jungkook asks.
He keeps his voice level, and you can tell he’s trying not to scare you. It’s something you appreciate but that’s utterly useless given how long you’ve worked here.
“No,” Seokjin says. “Not unless you go back up and down the other side, but that’s where the storm’s hitting right now. High winds.”
“So, what are you saying?”
“What I’m saying –”
“The ranger station,” you say, looking up. Seokjin mentioned it the other day in his class, and you completely forgot. “It’s not too far from here. We could stay overnight, or at least until the wind dies down and we can go the other way.”
“That could work,” Seokjin says slowly.
“What else were you going to suggest?” Jungkook asks.
Jaw tight, you look away. Of course, Jungkook doesn’t agree with your plan. He probably doesn’t want to spend the night on the mountain, kept away from his girlfriend, Anya.
“Nothing useful,” Seokjin says. “Y/N’s idea is better. You should go to the ranger station and wait out the storm. Radar says it should pass in twenty-four hours. Do you have food?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “But Y/N is hurt. Is there any way to airlift her out?”
“Even if we could fly in these winds, there’s no space to land on that side of the mountain. You’re better off staying until tomorrow.”
Nodding grimly, Jungkook zips his pack up and stands.
“Where’s the cabin?” he asks you.
“I can lead us there,” you say, trying – and failing – to stand.
Moving quickly, Jungkook’s arm wraps around your waist to haul you upright. Your weight hits his chest and you look up on instinct. Snowflakes crust his lashes, and his cheeks are pink from the cold. It hurts to look for too long, so you glance swiftly away.
“Y/N, are you good?” Seokjin asks, the line crackling.
“Yeah,” you say. “The cabin isn’t far from where I went off the trail. I think.”
“Okay, cool. Let us know once you get there.”
“Will do,” says Jungkook. “And Seokjin – can someone check in on Bam? He’s in his crate, but–”
“Done. Don’t worry about a thing.”
“Thanks.” Jungkook exhales and presses off.
Shoving the walkie-talkie into his pocket, Jungkook adjusts his arm on your waist and takes one of your hands.
“Is this okay?” he asks, helping you to take a step.
“It’s fine,” you say tightly.
Once you reach the snowmobile, Jungkook leans you against it. “Stay here,” he says. “I’ll grab your skis and be back.”
You nod, waiting while Jungkook disappears. Wind blasts down the alley, and you fight back a shiver. Your parka feels like nothing, and you wonder how much the temperature has dropped.
Emerging from the forest, Jungkook arrives just in time to witness a violent shiver. He pauses, lips tightening before strapping your skis to the back. Helping you onto the seat, Jungkook is careful not to jar your ankle as he joins.
Revving the engine, Jungkook lowers his goggles.
“Ready?” he calls over his shoulder.
You give him a thumbs up, pointing at the trail in question. Wrapping both arms around him, you slowly lean forward and press your face to his back. It’s a question of necessity, not romance you think as Jungkook takes off.
Zipping his way down the mountain, Jungkook twists when you tap him on the shoulder. Pointing at the break in the trees which lead to the cabin, he veers in this direction. A couple of minutes later, you come to a clearing.
Cabin is a nice word for the one-room outpost halfway up the mountain. When this land was part of the national park, the cabin belonged to its rangers. Now, it’s mostly used for medical supplies and staff breaks during shifts on the ski lift.
Stopping beneath the cabin’s eaves, Jungkook cuts the engine. Helping you from the seat, he assists you for three painstaking steps before exhaling, bending abruptly to sweep your legs out from under you.
You gasp, your hands flying on instinct around Jungkook’s neck. Pushing open the door, Jungkook fumbles along the wall to flick on the light switch, and it takes several seconds for the generator to kick in.
The bare ceiling bulb flickers before casting the room in a greenish-gray glow. The cabin’s furnishings are sparse – a bed for naps, a small kitchenette and a moth-bitten couch which has seen better days. Boxes have been shoved beneath the window, piled haphazardly to block out the light.
Lowering you onto the bed, Jungkook retreats and toes off his boots at the door. His parka, goggles, and hat are next, and he glances around the space with a swift efficiency.
Spotting the kitchenette, Jungkook crosses the room to drop his bag on the counter. Unzipping it, he pulls out a roll of gauze, a cold pack, and antiseptic.
“Is it only your ankle that’s hurt?” Jungkook asks as he turns. “Any scrapes or cuts that need to be disinfected?”
“Just the ankle.”
Hearing your shortness, his jaw tightens. Quickly, Jungkook closes the space between you to kneel by your side. Since being deposited on the mattress, you’ve tried to undo your boot laces, but your fingers are stiff.
“Here.” Jungkook brushes you aside. Undoing the laces himself, he eases off your shoes and sets them on the ground.
Once your shoes have been removed, the difference between your ankles is obvious. Even you wince, seeing the visible swelling.
Sitting back on his heels, Jungkook shoves a hand through his hair. “Do you need help with your jacket?” he asks, looking up and you realize you haven’t changed.
“No,” you say, hastily unzipping. “I can do it.”
His brow furrows at your tone but Jungkook remains silent. Once your coat is removed, he stands and drapes this over his own. Returning to the bed, Jungkook kneels by your side.
By this point, your ankle is throbbing. Collapsing onto the pillows, you extend your legs with a barely restrained groan.
Jungkook’s gaze flickers. “Can I take off your socks?”
After a moment, you nod and prop yourself up on your elbow.
He works slowly, peeling off the socks which have been dampened by snow. Placing these aside, he stands and returns with the gauze and cold pack. Shivering, you recoil from the frigid air on your skin.
“Do you want an insulation blanket?” Jungkook asks quietly.
“I’m okay.”
He nods, then looks up. “Can I examine you?”
“I – what?”
Lifting a brow, Jungkook slips a hand beneath your left foot. “Is this the ankle that hurts? Can I examine it?”
His fingers are cold, and you shiver again. “Oh. Yeah,” you manage to say.
Slight regret colors his gaze. “Sorry.”
Removing his hand, Jungkook cups them around his mouth to blow – slow and even. You stare, and when he returns his hand to your foot, his fingers are warm. Lifting your ankle, Jungkook shifts to better see it in the light.
Faint, purplish bruises are already visible but at least nothing protrudes. You remember enough from first aid to know this to be a good sign. Jungkook’s fingers are sure but careful on your ankle, moving over the joint.
“Does this hurt?” he murmurs, applying the gentlest pressure.
“I – a little,” you admit.
He pauses, then meets your gaze. “Let’s test if you can put weight on it – alright?”
You nod, allowing him to help you from the bed. Jungkook’s arm encircles your waist and again, you’re consumed by the warm smell of peppermint. You’re reminded of a distant memory but can’t quite recall. There’s a blurry night and Christmas songs, but the moment you think this, the memory is gone.
“Okay,” Jungkook says. “Put your injured foot on the floor and slowly add weight. Just a little at a time.”
Biting your lip, you do as instructed. The second weight is added to your injured ankle, you sharply inhale.
“Okay, enough,” Jungkook says gruffly, pulling you to his side.
Turning again, lowers you to the bed. Exhaling in frustration, you stare while Jungkook kneels before you. He resumes the examination of your ankle, turning it this way and that while he gently probes.
“Well?” you ask, fighting the quaver in your voice. “What’s the prognosis?”
Jungkook looks up. “A doctor will have to examine you, but… honestly?” Slowly, he lowers your foot. “Could be either. The fact that you can’t put weight on it seems to suggest a fracture. There’s pretty obvious swelling and bruising as well.”
“So… it’s a fracture.”
“Could be. Or a really bad sprain.”
“… since when are you a trained medic?”
“I’m not,” Jungkook says. “But I’m first aid certified. Comes in handy in the mountains. Okay.” Rocking back on his heels, he scans the cabin. “I’m going to wrap your ankle, Y/N. If it is a sprain, you’ll need ice, compression and elevation.”
“Ah, good old RICE.”
Jungkook’s lips quirk as he stands, returning to your side with the contents of his bag. Settling onto the mattress, he begins wrapping your ankle. The cabin heat has finally kicked in, and you’re starting to feel a bit warm in your sweater.
Fastening the gauze with small metal clips, Jungkook sits back. Breaking the cold compress across his knee, he hands this to you. Accepting it, you reach to drape this over your ankle. Barely have you drawn in a breath before –
“What were you thinking,” Jungkook says, his voice low and flat. “Going out in this storm. Going on a black diamond run.”
Your jaw clenches. “I had enough time,” you retort, although you can’t meet his gaze. “If I hadn’t fallen –”
“But you did fall. You fell, you got hurt and were almost stranded in the middle of a blizzard.”
“I’ve done this run before.”
“When?” he demands. “Because I seem to recall you saying that you didn’t ski much. That you had a bad fall and have been scared ever since. And why,” Jungkook continues, reaching for you, “have you barely even looked at me since I found you?”
Fighting back tears, you wish you could hide but know everything you’re feeling is written plainly on your face.
“What do you care?” you demand, the words coming out sharply.
“What do I – Y/N.” Gently, his fingers slip beneath your chin. “I just spent an hour in the snow searching for you. I kissed you last night! Do you seriously think I... don’t care?”
He sounds so confused and earnest, it hurts even more.
“If that’s true, then you shouldn’t care,” you insist, and he turns your head to meet his gaze head-on. “Seeing as I met your girlfriend back at the lodge. She checked in a few hours ago.”
Jungkook goes perfectly still.
A cornered animal look enters his eyes, which only serves to stoke your anger. Jungkook thought you wouldn’t find out; it’s the only explanation for his reaction. He thought you wouldn’t find out, thought he could leave after a week and take your heart with him.
“I can’t believe I fell for it again,” you breathe, the words pouring out. "I thought you were a nice guy again, and you turned out to be the type who –”
“When.” His hand falls from your chin. “When did Anya check in?”
Jungkook looks vaguely sick and in response, your brow furrows.
“I…” Scanning his expression, you hesitate. “Right before I went skiing.”
Slowly, his eyes close. “What exactly did she tell you?”
“She said… she was coming to surprise you for the holidays. That she had to work, but she managed to get free. And… she’s staying in the suite below yours.”
When Jungkook opens his eyes, they look glassy.
“That’s not my girlfriend,” he says grimly. “That’s a woman who’s been stalking me for months, convinced she’s my soulmate. I have a restraining order against her. It’s part of the reason I wanted to disappear, to get away from the drama.”
Dimly, Jungkook’s words from the cookie-baking contest come back to you. Let’s just say, this came at a good time. I’ve been looking to lay low for a while. It was her. Anya is the person Jungkook wanted to get away from.
Stomach twisting, you realize you may have made a horrible mistake.
“A… restraining order?” you say faintly.
Jungkook nods. “That’s why I didn’t want you posting to social media. When you explained why it was necessary, I wanted to help you and the Inn and figured the restraining order would keep Anya away, but… I guess not.”
“Why didn’t you tell us about her? Flag her name, so she couldn’t make a reservation?”
Even as you say this, you’re well-aware your software isn’t fancy enough for that. You’d need to manually review the guest list every night.
“Namjoon knows,” Jungkook says. “He’s been checking the guest list every night to make sure no one slips by. I’m sure once he sees Anya checked in, he’ll call the police and she’ll be gone by morning.”
Still staring at him, you allow this to sink in. You remember Jungkook talking about the perils of fame, but you thought he meant it’s hard to get Chipotle in person, not the physical danger which comes from a stalker.
Frankly, Jungkook being a playboy seemed far more likely.
“I’m… sorry,” you say at last. “I assumed the worst, and you don’t deserve that.”
Jungkook nods, then pauses. “You said something else.”
Dread enters your stomach, and you feel your fingers begin tapping the blanket beneath you.
“You said... that you fell for my act again. That you thought I was a nice guy again. What… when did I do something like this before?”
“That’s… well.” Shrinking in on yourself, you can’t meet his gaze. “I was thinking of back in college.”
“Right. But what did I do to you back in college to make you think I’m not a nice guy?”
Jungkook sounds genuinely bewildered, which chafes at your memory. “You cheated on Leslie,” you say finally, meeting his gaze. “She told me everything.”
His eyes widen.
“She told you… everything,” he repeats.
“Well, she said that you cheated,” you explain, fully aware you’re babbling again. “Back in college, around Valentine’s Day? She said she walked in on you with another girl, and that you told Leslie you hadn’t thought you were serious…”
The look on his face makes you trail off into silence. Jungkook’s hands grip the blanket, nearly white with anger.
“Leslie said that I cheated on her?” 
His jaw tenses. “And you never thought to ask me?”
“I – I didn’t know you!” you protest. “Leslie is – well, was – my best friend! Of course, I believed her. Are you… are you saying you didn’t cheat?”
Ignoring most of this outburst, Jungkook latches onto one word. “Was?” he says carefully. “Leslie was your best friend? Is she still?”
“Well, no.”
His brows flick upward. “And why’s that?”
“I don’t have to explain myself,” you huff. “We drifted apart after college. It’s none of your business.”
“It’s kind of my business, given she’s the one spreading lies about me.”
“And what lie was that, exactly?”
“That I cheated,” he says stonily. “And that she broke up with me. If I remember correctly, it was the other way around.”
This steals the breath from your lungs. Staring at Jungkook, you feel your chest rise and fall.
“I don’t…” Uncertain, you shake your head. “You were the one who broke up with her?”
He nods.
“But… why?”
“Why did she lie, or why did I break up with her?”
You want to know both, but Jungkook can only answer one of those questions.
“Why did you break up with her,” you say at last.
Something in his face softens. “Why,” Jungkook murmurs. After a moment, he stands from the bed. “A lot of reasons, I guess. Leslie never wanted to hang out with me alone. She only wanted to be seen in public. Also” – He holds up two fingers – “she told my best friend that if we weren’t dating, she’d ‘definitely fuck him.’ And then, there’s the other reason,” he says, adding a third finger. Coming to a stop, Jungkook meets your gaze. “I almost kissed her best friend at a party and thought I should end it before things went any further.”
Frozen, you stare at Jungkook from the bed. Lowering his hand to his side, Jungkook crosses the room to sit on the edge of your mattress.
“Which friend,” you whisper.
He gives you a rueful look. “I wanted to tell you I liked you. I tried to that night in the library, but then you ran away, and I figured… well. I figured it wasn’t meant to be. But when I got to the Inn and saw the manager was you, it just, I don’t know. It felt like fate.” Jungkook winces. “That’s dumb. I’m sorry. I’m not good with words, and I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”
Again, you get the oddest sense of déjà vu. Titling your head, you try and remember where you’ve heard that before.
Before you can recall, your mind snags on something else. “After you broke up,” you say slowly. “Leslie and I promised never to date each other’s exes. Did she…?”
Something unreadable crosses Jungkook’s expression.
“I told her I had feelings for someone else. I didn’t say who, but I wonder…”
Trailing off, he leaves the words unsaid. You don’t want to believe him. You don’t want to believe Leslie would do something so cruel, but Taehyung’s words play again though your mind. Leslie was jealous of you and now, you no longer feel hurt – but furious.
“I didn’t know,” you say tightly. “I didn’t… she didn’t…”
Scooting closer, Jungkook covers your hand with his.
“Hey,” he says softly. “If I had been in your shoes, I would’ve believed my friend, too.”
“I guess. It's just… I can’t believe she did that.”
Jungkook makes a low, humming noise.
“It’s a lot to take in.” Helpless, you glance at him. “Leslie lied. I spent so long hating you for apparently no reason. And you… you liked me back then?”
“More than liked.” He gives a small smile. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you from the first time we met.”
“What, at that restaurant?”
A flash of guilt crosses his expression. “Well. Before that, actually.”
Now, you’re the one looking at him strangely. “We met before then? I feel like I would remember that.”
“You would,” he says slowly. “If you hadn’t been drunk off your ass.”
Drunk off your ass? The only time you were so drunk you couldn’t remember was –
No way.
Eyes wide, you stare as the pad of Jungkook’s thumb gently strokes your palm. “It… was you,” you whisper, the dots connecting. “You’re my Christmas ghost.”
Softly, he laughs. “I forgot you called me that. Well, that’s not true. I remembered. But I didn’t think you remembered.”
“That’s… you’re not… why didn’t you say something?”
“I tried!” Jungkook insists. “When I got to the restaurant the night of the formal and realized who you were, I was going to say something, but then you stood up and introduced yourself. It was clear you didn’t remember me, and I didn’t want to embarrass you, so I figured I’d bring it up later… and, well.” He shrugs. “It just never happened.”
Suddenly, it all clicks into place.
The peppermint smell when your Christmas Ghost walked you home. His insistence on not being good with words, but somehow managing to make you feel better. Quiet, but kind and – without meaning to, tears sting the backs of your eyelids.
“You were nice to me,” you whisper. “When I was rambling about my dad.”
Jungkook’s expression softens. “I’m glad that’s what you remember. I thought I kind of fucked up – I’ve never been very good with words.”
“No,” you blurt. “Never. You… your words meant a lot to me. I’m sorry I was too drunk to remember who you were.”
He smiles. “I figured. I had just started dating Leslie, but I spent most of my holiday break talking about the super-cute drunk girl I met the last night of finals. I figured it wasn’t meant to be, so imagine my surprise when I show up to dinner and Leslie’s best friend is – you.”
Jungkook inches closer. “You.”
His gaze drops to your lips, and the air between you feels suddenly thick. Head swimming, you force yourself to concentrate on why it wouldn’t be a good idea to make out with him right now. Your ankle is throbbing, you’re trapped in a blizzard, Jungkook technically works for the Inn –
“Can I kiss you?” he asks, sounding so utterly hopeful, all your reservations crumble.
“Yes,” you whisper.
Jungkook leans in, one hand rising to cup the back of your neck. His thumb drifts across sensitive skin and, almost without meaning to, your eyes slowly shut.
He leans in and your lips touch, soft and fleeting. His touch is gentle and when Jungkook pulls back, your eyes open.
“Oh,” you say, gaze catching on his.
Abruptly, Jungkook pushes himself backwards and stands.
You blink, suddenly cold without his presence. “What’s wrong?”
Shaking his head, Jungkook scans the cabinets and pulls open the first one. Not finding what he’s looking for, he opens another and lets out a noise of triumph. Removing four citronella candles, he places these on the counter.
Your jaw drops. “Are you serious? You were looking for… candles?”
Jungkook fishes a lighter from his bag. “Yeah,” he says, flicking it on. “What did you think I was looking for?”
“I don’t know, first aid supplies?”
He makes a dismissive sound, and you grin, scooting back on the bed. Once the candles are lit, Jungkook shuts off the hanging light and turns around.
The candlelight bathes the room in a flickering glow. Crossing the room to sit on the bed, the mattress squeaks beneath Jungkook’s weight.
For a moment, he pauses. “I’m nervous,” he admits.
“You’re nervous?” you say. “You’re, well… you. And look at me.”
“I am.”
Jungkook’s voice is low, his face warm in candlelight and you fight back a shiver. Emboldened, he reaches out to pull you closer. A hair’s breadth away from your lips, Jungkook pauses.
“I have to say,” you tease. “I never imagined you as the hesitant type.”
Something in his gaze darkens.
“Are you saying you imagined me otherwise?” he asks, soft and low.
“What, exactly, did you imagine?”
Your breath hitches when his thumb strokes your jaw.
“I imagined you kissing me,” you whisper.
Indulging you in your fantasy, Jungkook presses a slow kiss to your brow.
“What else?”
“I –” You pause, overwhelmed by the possibilities.
He chuckles at this response.
“Truthfully.” Jungkook shifts to better see you. “You’re right. I… don’t do this a lot. I’m not really a one-night stand kind of guy.”
“No. I’ve only been with three other women.”
You stare. “But… you and Leslie…”
“We never had sex.”
“But… you two were dating for like, three months.”
Jungkook lifts a brow. “And? I like to go slow.”
Pointedly, you stare at his hands on your waist.
He exhales a laugh. “Was eight years not long enough? And can we please,” he groans, “not talk about other people right now?”
“You don’t want that?” you tease. “You want all of my attention?”
“Yes.” Gripping your waist, he pulls you closer until you’re nearly in his lap. “Please.”
His last word is said with your lips nearly touching. Jungkook is careful not to jar your ankle, but the way his hands are holding you feels barely restrained. Fingers curling into his hair, you tilt your head upward and open your mouth with his.
Jungkook groans, the sound catching in his throat. One of his hands splays over your neck, his thumb stroking upwards in slow, even strokes. Shifting even closer, your hand bunches in his sweater as you kiss him back. A whimper leaves your lips, stolen and swallowed as fast as it comes.
Hand slipping beneath your sweater, Jungkook spans your waist before pulling back.
“Fuck,” he says, hoarse. “Want to see you.”
Leaning back, you replace his hands with your own. Removing your sweater, you hesitate a moment before dropping to the ground. Left in only your bra and sweatpants, you can’t help but feel woefully inadequate.
Except for the way Jungkook stares, as though he might consume you whole.
“You, next,” you tell him, suddenly shy.
Glancing up, Jungkook’s gaze catches before he nods and sits back. His lip ring is gone, you realize, but the eyebrow piercing remains. Removing his shirt, Jungkook reveals a trim torso – and an entire sleeve of tattoos.
Absently, you reach out to trace over a flower – a tiger lily on his forearm. Stomach clenching, you wish you could put weight on your ankle. If you could, you’d push him back and trace each line of ink with your tongue.
Seeming to understand what you’re thinking, Jungkook’s gaze darkens. Kneeling before you on the bed, his abdominals are visible and your gaze snags on these next.
“Holy fuck,” you whisper. “Why are you built like that?”
Jungkook ducks his head, and – slipping both hands to his face – you return his lips to yours. Kissing you back, he eagerly presses you down to the sheets. Right hand cupping your waist, he slowly skims up until his thumb brushes your breast.
You groan, arching upwards and he does it again. Lowering his head, Jungkook’s lips find a nipple and close over the fabric. He tugs, biting down and soothing the ache with a lick. Reaching beneath you, Jungkook undoes your bra, removing its straps to drop on the floor.
Left bare from the waist up, his gaze darkens as he beholds you.
“You are unreal,” Jungkook murmurs, dropping again.
A soft breath escapes when he bends to lick over a nipple. Both harden, resulting in a dull, aching throb between your drenched thighs. Cupping a breast, Jungkook flicks with his tongue before closing his mouth over to suck. You groan, arching your back as he moves to the next.
When both your breasts feel heavy, Jungkook sits back on his heels and spreads his thighs. Dragging both hands through his hair, he looks at your ankle.
“I don’t…” Jungkook’s breathing is heavy. “I don’t want to hurt you, Y/N.”
He’s right. You know that he’s right, but you hate it because you want him so badly, you might burst. The evidence of Jungkook’s arousal is obvious, straining his sweatpants in a way that makes your mouth water.
Catching where you look, Jungkook groans. “I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he cautions. “But… maybe we can do other things?”
Your gaze lifts. Lowering yourself back on your elbows, you spread your legs and let your chest rise and fall.
“What kind of things?”
Jungkook’s gaze darkens and he shifts, placing a palm beside you on the bed. Slipping a hand down your body, a few strands of his hair fall forward.
“Can I remove your pants?” Jungkook asks, and you nod. “What about your panties?” He smirks. “Can I take them off and see how wet this pussy is for me?”
Oh, fuck.
Your mouth goes dry, and you lick your lips as you nod. Lifting a brow, Jungkook tugs your pants down to remove them from your body. He’s careful not to jar while he works, and when he returns to your panties, he pauses.
Lowering himself to one forearm, Jungkook drags a single digit down the center of the fabric. You inhale sharply, legs spreading at the sensation. It must be obvious how wet you are, how much Jungkook has turned you on with only his words.
He looks up. “So ready for me, sweetheart.” Jungkook presses his thumb over your clit through the cotton. “Fucking soaked and we’ve barely started.”
“Eight years,” you remind him. “Eight years of sexual tension between us.”
“Spread this leg.” Jungkook taps your good ankle. “Good girl. Now, this one” – gently, he lifts the knee over his shoulder – “should stay elevated.”
Gasping a laugh, you drop back on the bed. “I don’t think that’s what doctors mean when they say to – ooh.”
Lazily, he drags a finger up and down your clothed sex. It feels indecent, your legs spread before him while he tugs your panties aside. For a moment he simply looks, taking in the sight of your soaking pussy displayed.
“Such a tight, little cunt,” he exhales, and looks up. “Even if it were on the table, you wouldn’t be able to handle my dick tonight.”
“I can take it,” you pant.
Chuckling, he drops a kiss to your inner thigh. “I bet you can,” Jungkook murmurs. Casually, his fingers stroke your waiting sex. “I bet you like taking a big dick, mm?”
“Yes,” you breathe. “Yes, please.”
His index finger teases your pussy, dipping in slowly but never all the way. Lowering himself to one forearm, Jungkook inhales.
The first lick of his tongue makes your entire body clench. Knees spreading wider, you urge him on in a silent demand. Jungkook continues to stroke with his fingers, playing with your pussy while he sucks on your clit.
“Oh, god,” you pant.
Jungkook keeps going. With slow, measured licks, he urges your clit into something throbbing and needy. Fingers teasing your pussy, he waits until you’re keening before he pushes one inside.
“Oh!” you gasp, head thrown back at the intrusion.
It’s been a while since you slept with someone, and your entire body feels tight. Jungkook goes slowly, his fingers easing you open until you begin to feel wanton. Leg thrown over his shoulder, your thighs tremble in earnest when he sucks on your pussy. Gripping his hair, you tug Jungkook upward and his lips curl into a smile.
Gripping your panties, he tugs these down your legs to toss aside. Dropping back down, he settles before your dripping cunt.
“Use me,” he pants, guiding your hands to his hair. “Want you to fuck my mouth, Y/N.”
You hesitate a little but the moment he licks, you give him what he wants. Legs spreading eagerly, you guide Jungkook’s mouth against your needy sex. Jungkook groans in approval, hips grinding into the mattress with each flick of his tongue.
“Oh – my god,” you groan.
Freeing one hand, Jungkook slips two fingers into your waiting pussy. A cry escapes you, eagerly spreading your legs to roll your hips.
“Yes,” you say, trapped between the bed and his mouth while Jungkook fills you with his fingers.
A deep, steady pressure builds inside you. Right before breaking, Jungkook sits back and pulls out his fingers. A whine of protest escapes you, until he slides them on either side of your throbbing clit.
Pushing himself up your torso, he kisses you slow on the mouth.
When you taste yourself on his tongue, you bite down on his lip. Jungkook uses this opportunity to slip a finger inside your waiting pussy. You gasp at the fullness and Jungkook grinds the heel of his palm against your swollen clit.
“Jungkook,” you gasp, clasping his upper back.
He chuckles, his breath teasing your throat, then your nipples as he lowers himself down your body. Jungkook’s tongue soon replaces his hand, easing you back to the brink of orgasm. Right before you break apart, he lifts his head.
“Jungkook,” you groan.
“Yes?” His smile flashes from between your thighs.
You lift your hips. “Make me come.”
“Is that what you want?” Spreading your sex, Jungkook laps up your juices. “You want me to make this pussy come?”
“Yes,” you moan.
One of his arms curls around your leg, keeping you firm on his shoulder. This action causes his bicep to flex, which you find momentarily distracting – until he plunges two fingers inside, curling them forward in a come-hither motion.
“Oh my god,” you gasp, back arching.
“So fucking sweet,” he breathes. “Could fucking eat your pussy for days. Make you come apart and keep on going.”
“Why don’t you,” you taunt.
Stilling his fingers, Jungkook looks up.
“Because,” he says sweetly. “I think you like being told no.” Withdrawing his fingers, Jungkook traces around your pussy. “I think you like being denied until your legs shake. Want you to soak these sheets, but you have to deserve it.”
“How – how do I deserve it,” you pant because he’s right. You love being edged, love to be teased, love having your orgasm drawn out until your vision turns black.
Jungkook’s gaze moves to your chest, where your breasts rise and fall with each breath you take. Knowing your nipples are hard, you lift a palm to thumb over the peak.
“That’s it, baby,” Jungkook says, not looking away. “Tug those nipples down for me like a good girl.”
You obey, spreading your legs as you palm your breasts. When you tug on the nipples, Jungkook lowers his head to suck on your clit. You gasp, nearly coming undone–
And his tongue lowers from clit to your cunt, fucking you roughly as his fingers pull out. You whimper, orgasm slipping away as your hands find his hair. Legs open, you ride his tongue while he pushes inside you. Your body trembles, about to come again when Jungkook pulls back.
He sharply smacks your clit, and you gasp. Without further preamble, Jungkook lifts himself up your body to thrust two fingers inside you.
“A-ah,” you moan, your thigh shoved towards your chest as Jungkook leans forward.
“There you go, baby,” he says, snapping his wrist below. “Take all of that. You like having my fingers inside you?”
“Such a tight, little pussy,” he goads. “No way you could fit all of my dick.”
“I can!”
Honestly though, his fingers stuff you so well, you’re not entirely sure. Having his cock inside you might ruin you in the best sort of way.
“We’ll try another day,” he says. “After I’ve made you come a few times and gotten this pussy nice and wet.”
You moan, unable to respond when he adds a third finger. Jungkook stretches you so nicely, fucking you so hard, your breasts bounce on your chest.
“That’s it,” he breathes, glancing down at his fingers disappearing inside you.
The wet sounds of him fucking you leave your entire body trembling. Each thrust makes you whimper, hitting your g-spot with extraordinary precision. You’re squirming beneath him, gripping the panes of his back, unsure you’ll survive when you finally come.
“Oh my god – Jungkook,” you gasp, burying your face in his shoulder.
He doesn’t relent, fucking you open as your orgasm breaks. Coming apart on his fingers, you gasp his name as your vision darkens. Your pleasure never slows, the waves gradually decreasing until you open your eyes.
Slowly, Jungkook slips from your body and collapses beside you.
“Holy shit,” you breathe.
He’s smiling, his hair messy and lips wet. “Was it good?”
“Good?” Reaching out, you tug on his waistband. “Come here.”
Not objecting, Jungkook moves closer and lowers your leg to the sheets. Lips finding yours, he kisses you gently and you nearly melt. With his right leg pressed to yours, you’re able to feel the massive bulge at the front of his sweatpants.
When you start to reach down, Jungkook halts your wrist.
“You don’t have to do anything for me,” he says.
“I want to,” you insist, lowering your hand again.
Cupping his bulge, you suck in a breath at how large he is. Fascinated, you stroke slowly upwards until you feel the whole shaft.
Jungkook goes still, his chest rising and falling with perceptible effort. “Y/N…” he says tightly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Looking up, you meet his gaze. “You won’t.”
He hesitates another moment, then nods.
Tugging down on the waistband, you free Jungkook’s cock. His length nestles between his thighs, semi-hard just from eating you out. Staring at him for a moment, you imagine what it’d be like to have Jungkook inside you.
“I don’t think you’ll fit,” you murmur.
Hissing through teeth, Jungkook pushes down both his pants and underwear to drop to the floor. “If you’re trying to test my self-control, it’s working.”
Your core clenches, and you shift against him. As though your last orgasm never happened, you find yourself feeling wholly unsatisfied. You want Jungkook inside you, filling you up and making you whole.
He’s right, though. Once you start, it’d be hard to stop, and you might hurt yourself further.
“What if we do something else,” you suggest.
Jungkook tilts his head. “I’m listening.”
Lifting a hand, you spit into your palm. Jungkook watches in awe as you reach between you to wrap your hand around his cock. He groans, shifting backwards as he responds to your touch. Brushing over the tip, you slide your hand down to squeeze the base.
Through lidded eyes, Jungkook watches you stroke his length. Reaching down, you slip a hand between your thighs, and he freezes, jaw taut at the sight of your pussy parted by your fingers.
“Holy fuck,” he chokes out.
Emboldened, you push a finger inside you. Moving slowly, you begin sliding your finger in and out, your other hand increasing its speed on his cock.
Staring at your hand moving between your legs, Jungkook reaches down to cup his balls. They look heavy and full, and he plays with them casually while your hand fucks his cock.
One by one, you dip each finger inside you to get them wet. Once finished, you reach out and replace this hand on his length. Jungkook pants, head tilted back while you jerk him off. Chest rising and falling, his abs are held tight while your palm glides up and down his shaft.
Thrusting his hips, he chases the feeling as you tighten your fingers.
“Y/N,” Jungkook rasps. His hips continue to move up and down. “I’m not going to make it much longer.”
“No.” With a hiss, he releases his balls. “I’ve been wanting this for a while, and I’m not going to last long the first time. Where do you want me to cum, baby?”
You’d like to have his cum on your pussy, but that’d be a greater risk. The thought of his cum on your chest though, is nearly equally appealing.
Nipples hardening, you spread your pussy wide and add a second finger. Jungkook moans, the veins in his neck standing out while he fights not to come in your palm.
“Here,” you breathe, cupping a tit. “Come on my chest.”
Jaw clenched, he nods and replaces your hand on his cock. “Lean back, baby,” he urges, kneeling over your chest. “Push those tits together for me.”
You do as he asks, thumbing over your nipples while your hips roll in mid-air. Seeing this, Jungkook groans and rubs himself harder. You watch, lips parted at the sight of his vascular hand wrapped around his cock.
Letting go of a breast, you reach between your legs to rub over your clit.
“That’s it, Y/N,” he pants, rolling his hips. “Make that little pussy come again. I want to hear it. Want to watch you come apart at the same time.”
You moan in agreement, arching your back as you tug on a nipple. Your body breaks, sending you over the edge in your second orgasm. His name crosses your lips as Jungkook stiffens and comes. Thick streams of cum shoot from his cock, painting your chest to cover your tits.
You inhale at the possessive glint in his eye, the way Jungkook milks his cock for all that he’s worth. A few, final dribbles land on your stomach as slowly, you withdraw your hand.
Sitting back, Jungkook surveys his handiwork. “It seems a shame to wipe it off,” he muses. “Maybe we should leave it.”
“Or maybe you can clean me up, and we can go again later.”
Grin widening, Jungkook retreats to search the room for a wipe. You stare at his ass as he walks, watching the two, perfect halves shift above his thighs. It’s unfair for a man to have such a great ass, you think sadly. On the bright side, you get to look at it all you want.
Once Jungkook returns, he cleans you and reaches for his sweatpants on the floor. You make a soft noise of protest, and Jungkook gives you a look, tying them around his waist.
“What?” you ask innocently. “You have a great ass.”
“My trainer will be happy to hear it.”
Unable to stop smiling, you settle back on the bed and Jungkook helps you into your clothes. Once you’re both, he sits on the bed and pulls you between his legs. Resting your head on his chest, you listen to his heart and wonder if you’ve ever been this peaceful before.
Turning your head, you find Jungkook looking at you.
You smile. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He smiles back.
The two of you grin at each other like fools until a sudden blast of wind shakes the cabin. Startled, you glance up and remember the circumstances. The blizzard. Your ankle.
Sobering slightly, your smile disappears.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, looking up.
Jungkook furrows his brow. “What just happened between us is the absolute last thing to apologize for. Especially since I’d like to do it again. Soon. Maybe tonight.”
Pleasure curls at his confession but you push this aside. This is important, and you want to make sure Jungkook understands.
“No, I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you,” you say. “Both in college and now. I assumed something that wasn’t true and… well, look where it led us.”
“Yeah.” His grip on you tightens. “Look where it led us. Y/N…” Jungkook pauses. “Do I wish things had been different and we’d gotten together earlier? Sure. But that’s not what happened. You believed your friend, and I didn’t try very hard to convince you otherwise. We both made mistakes.”
“I guess…”
“Listen.” Fingers slipping beneath your chin, Jungkook looks at you in earnest. “The past is the past. All we can control is what happens now. I’d like to date you, but that can’t happen if we don’t move on.”
Sleepily, you smile.
Jungkook blinks at your response. “What?”
“Nothing.” The final knot in your stomach begins to untangle. “You want to date me?”
His cheeks flush crimson. “I, uh – I thought that was obvious.”
“Good,” you say, reaching up for a kiss. “I’d like to date you, too.”
Jungkook obliges, kissing you gently as the wind howls outside. When he finally pulls away, you can’t help but smile. Settling into his chest, you nearly nod off when Jungkook stirs.
“Let me know if you’re hungry,” he yawns. “I have energy bars in my pack.”
“Or cold. Let me know if you’re cold.”
“Why?” you ask, fighting a smile. “Are you going to give me your shirt?”
“And if I’m bored?”
He chuckles, hand slipping a bit lower. “I can think of ways to entertain us.”
A shiver travels your spine, but you shake your head. “I’m pretty happy right now, thanks,” you murmur, and he nods.
You must doze off at some point since you’re woken around midnight when Jungkook pulls out a blanket to cover you both. Using him as a pillow, you fall asleep again and the next time you wake, light enters from outside.
The storm is finally over.
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Saturday, December 24th 9:17 PM
“A little to the left, don’t you think?”
Taehyung laughs by your side. “Y/N.” He takes a sip of champagne. “I’ve watched you adjust that star five times since I got here. This is a party. Act like it.”
“Sorry – sorry, you’re right,” you laugh.
The annual Christmas Eve party is in full swing at the Inn. The lobby has been decorated within an inch of its life, thanks to Tonja returning for the holiday season. Due to last year’s PR stunt, the Inn has been booked solid for nearly twelve months.
What started as guests coming because of Jungkook turned into travel agents recommending you as a niche getaway. Namjoon’s parents were stunned by the turnaround, saying this surpassed even their Hawaii resort. Jungkook was ridiculously pleased by this, referring to himself for three weeks as the man who outsold Timothée Chalamet.
This week has been the busiest yet, with people coming from all over to celebrate the holidays. You’ve worked non-stop, per usual but this Christmas has been different because this year, you aren’t celebrating alone.
Taehyung arrived two days ago and is staying through New Year’s. Your mom and Romel will come after Christmas and leave sometime in January. And Jungkook has been here since the start of December.
Usually, he’s either training or competing during the winter but Jungkook worked out a deal to train at a nearby facility during the week and the rest of the time, he’s been here. Helping you out – and cleaning up after Bam when he gets himself in trouble.
As though called into being, the crowd parts to reveal Jungkook near the fireplace. When he spots you, he waves, winding his way through the revelers to stand at your side.
Slipping an arm around your waist, he pulls you close.
“You look beautiful.” Jungkook brushes a kiss to your temple
“You said that earlier,” you scold, although you can’t help but smile. “When I left our room.”
“I know, but I meant it.”
“Who said you’re not great with words,” you murmur, turning to kiss him fully.
The kiss turns slightly heated as, pointedly, Taehyung clears his throat. Hastily, you disengage and find your best friend grinning at you like a proud father.
“Who would have thought,” he says, lifting his glass of champagne. “Nine years later, you’d be dating your Christmas ghost. Did Y/N tell you I tried to find you afterward?” he asks Jungkook. “Walked up and down the street calling your name.”
“No. Christmas ghost.”
Jungkook snorts, taking a sip from a peppermint martini. “No, but you’ve told me that story. Several times.”
Ducking your head, you try to hide your laughter.
“And I’ll tell it again!” Taehyung declares, quoting Brooklyn 99 to lift his glass. “But seriously, Y/N. Everything comes full circle.”
Jungkook squeezes your waist, and you smile.
Another new development has been Jungkook and Taehyung’s friendship. You introduced them about a month into dating – surprisingly, they never hung out much in college – and the two instantly hit it off.
“And Leslie” – grimacing, Taehyung finishes his glass – “is exactly where she belongs. Which is not here.”
Jungkook stiffens and now, it’s your turn to squeeze his waist.
A few months into your relationship, you got your answer about Leslie. Shortly after New Year’s Eve, you reached out but every text you sent went unanswered. It was a chance encounter between Taehyung and an old friend from college which revealed the full story.
As it turned out, Leslie saw the near kiss between you and Jungkook at the party. When Jungkook ended their relationship, Leslie was bitter and took it upon herself to ensure you never dated. Apparently, Leslie bragged about this while drunk to her theater troupe.
Finding this out was like a blow to the stomach. There was a part of you which understood. The almost-kiss wasn’t your proudest moment, either – but the way Leslie reacted was undeniably petty. For a while you were angry, but you eventually realized you’re better off without her. You have other friends now, new people in your life who support your happiness.
Glancing at Jungkook, you smile, and his eyes crinkle.
“Let’s not ruin the evening by talking about her,” you suggest. “Current friends only.”
“Sounds good.” Waving a hand, Taehyung flags down a passing waiter. “Three glasses of champagne, please.”
The waiter nods and takes off. All the staff are present, scattered about the party. Yoongi is playing Christmas songs on the piano – he’s a concierge of many talents – while Namjoon speaks to his parents before the giant tree.
Tonja and Hoseok are laughing about something in the corner. Hoseok was promoted to head chef over the summer, and his restaurant has also become a big tourist draw. Jimin and Seokjin are around here somewhere, probably fending off their daily admirers.
When the waiter returns with champagne, Taehyung leaves to say hello to Namjoon. Left alone once more, you turn to face Jungkook.
He squints at the tree. “Is that star crooked?”
Your eyes widen in panic.
Glancing sideways, Jungkook winks and you realize he’s joking.
“Jungkook!” you cry.
“I’m sorry – I’m sorry!” he laughs, as you swat his sweater. “Taehyung texted me five minutes ago and asked me to say it.”
“Not fair!” you complain. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“There are no sides,” he teases, wrapping both arms around you. “Besides, there was twenty dollars attached to the request, which I plan to spend on you. Better?”
“Better,” you agree, resting your chin on his chest.
“How’s your ankle?”
Hiding a smile, you roll your eyes. “I hurt my ankle almost a year ago. When am I going to live that down?”
“Never.” Jungkook grins. “Although I wouldn’t mind another trip to the cabin this year.”
His words make you shiver.
Your ankle last year turned out to be a bad sprain, but it took several weeks to fully heal. During this time, Jungkook insisted you refrain from anything strenuous. Once you were cleared, the two of you actually slept together and – well. The weeks which followed were a blur. Several times, you stopped at the cabin midway through skiing for a quick release.
Resting your chin on his chest, you allow your eyes to shut. Your heart feels so frighteningly full. This feeling used to be terrifying, since you were convinced it meant another shoe was about to drop. Lately though, you’ve been allowing yourself to enjoy. To savor the moment, rather than worrying about when it might disappear.
Gently, Jungkook’s lips brush your hair. “Have I said how incredibly proud I am?” he says, surveying the party.
You follow his gaze around the room. “A few times.”
“Good. Nearly enough, then.”
You smile and turn your face up to his. “Merry Christmas,” you tell him, hoping he can hear everything between the lines.
Jungkook’s eyes shine in response. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”
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Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you have a happy holidays if you celebrate, and a happy new year!
© kpopfanfictrash, 2021. Do not copy or repost without permission. There is no tag list for this story, please do not ask to be added.
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rendaze · a month ago
one morning stand (m)
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+ featuring . . . dom nerd!jungkook x gn!reader
+ summary . . . in which you and jungkook have one night stands with roommates and happen to be sneaking out at the same time.
+ genre . . . smut, fluff
+ wordcount . . . 7.9k
+ warnings . . . don't be fooled by the first half being fluff lmao; rough sex, a lot of dirty talk (jk will not shut up), heavy degradation (use of ‘slut’, 'whore', etc.), consensual slut-shaming (reader is into it), exhibitionism, cumplay, cum swallowing, unprotected sex, breeding kink, reader gets tied up at one point
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Most mornings arrived like a lover’s gentle touch, beguiling the horizon’s rays to surface with a golden grace; yours, however, often arrived with an acute headache, nausea, and the race to gather your clothes and dip before your one-night stand roused from snore-filled slumber. Though short was the list of things worse than hangovers, the dreaded walk of shame was often far more perilous with its intricacies and social hazards.
Between tossed beer cans and workout gear was a Chewbacca-themed alarm clock ticking away the minutes until it would wake its owner with a recorded growl. You, still in disbelief you had slept with a man with Star Wars paraphernalia, quickened your pace.
Some would call you tactless, but you were simply realistic. What else could come out of meaningless breakfast offers and forced conversations if not minutes wasted on both ends?
By the time you had wiped your face clean and thrown the prior night’s clothes over your head, the sun had arced through the sky with an obstination better suited for the winter months. For it was not the light that had awoken you, but the quiet rumble of steps falling down staircases as those who lived in the party house began their morning clean-up.
This, you’d argue, was the worst part of falling asleep after a hook-up: avoiding the ‘walk of shame’.
And it appeared as if you weren’t the only one facing this conundrum.
You opened the door to see a figure lurked near the hallway’s end, fluffy hair peeking at the crowded living room. The young man stuck close to the wall as if he were one with it, desperate to remain hidden. His coffee-colored eyes scanned the scene as if envisioning a multitude of escape routes and calculating their likelihood of success. His frown said that he wasn’t too pleased with the conclusion.
The sigh was a familiar one – one that had been directed towards you one too many times.
His shoulders jumped as if he were the hare to your fox, fight or flight senses kicking in at your abrupt arrival.
Jeon Jungkook. Captain of the debate team, frequent charity donor, homework answer sharer, your seatmate, and the last person you’d ever expect to encounter on a Sunday morning.
His neck, besmeared with an array of violent hickeys, whipped towards your standing figure. He shushed you with a finger to his pink lips – an image you’d seen whenever you would bother him with useless remarks in the middle of a lecture.
You crept beside him, crouched to copy his pose. Though you nodded, your mind meandered yonder. The Jeon Jungkook you knew from History and the Jeon Jungkook who wore beer-stained Hawaiian polos appeared as two separate entities. One you were familiar with, the other you were unsure of.
He fixed his hands through his hair and buttoned his shirt higher, clearing his throat with a demure smile better suited for school hallways than sticky trash-covered floors. “Hey, you,” his voice cracked, causing the ‘you’ to sound like two words smashed together.
“What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean?” His brows raised as if the answer hadn’t been right in front you – which it had been, in the form of violet blotches and scratch marks across his sun-blessed skin.
“Did you trip down the stairs and pass out?” You half-joked. It was arduous to imagine how the teacher’s pet who did algebra for fun could find himself in the same spot you were in. ‘It’s relaxing!’ He’d argue, before timing himself on his Samsung’s stopwatch and beginning another worksheet while waiting for the professor. You were more inclined to believe the scratch marks had come from some cat Jungkook had pet-sat than someone he had fucked a room across yours.
His doe eyes grew, as if both offended and bewildered. “Do you seriously not-” The approaching sound of steps slashed his sentence short.
They must’ve been done cleaning the living room – which meant they were heading straight towards you.
Jungkook had always been quick to raise his hand during lectures. It was as if he was in constant competition with himself, as no one else bothered. And his answers were always right.
You weren’t sure if this one was; not when he nearly dislocated your shoulder dragging you up to a stand, and especially not when he shoved the pair of you into the nearest room.
With the precision of a bomb defuser, he closed the oak door as silently as his sweaty palms could.
“Jungkook, what-”
He pressed the rough pad of his fingertip to your lips.
Imprisoned within the cage of your ribs, a nestled heart thud.
This was the closest you’d ever been to him.
In the dim room, light fragments leaked from the doorframe’s gaps and highlighted his face in soft shades. You thought about sunlight: how it travelled at a nearly instantaneous speed, how distant it journeyed if only to linger on him, and how, in its earliest hours, it turned Jungkook’s brown eyes into honey.
This close, you felt more than heard the pace of his breathing; the warm air caressed your forehead as he leant past you to make sure the door was shut.
The silence allowed you to observe the room you had been pulled into, though you found it to be less of a room than you’d given it credit for. While the floor and lower shelves were crammed with an assortment of shoeboxes and house slippers, the upper half was littered with winter coats and gear. In the limited space, you could hardly exhale without your chest touching his.
It was a closet. Jungkook, in his panic, had trapped you both in a closet.
Beyond the door was the loud banter and cacophony of people as they cleaned up the prior night’s apocalyptic aftermath. Crushed plastic cups. Mops against floors. Changed bed sheets.
The two of you waited. A minute passed. Then, another. And another. They continued to clean the area outside where you hid, each too-close step causing him to flinch.
Whether it be his proximity or your ennui, you could no longer take it.
“Okay, you might have a problem with being seen but I don’t.” Your movement stirred a response from his then rigid frame. He had to maintain his golden boy reputation, after all. You, contrarily, had no notoriety of which you were caged by. The general population didn’t care about you the way they did Jungkook. The simple miracle of him attending a party would already be made a spectacle by Monday.
He reached for your wrist as you clutched the doorknob. His pout (which was horrendously endearing) compelled you to pause. “Please.” He kept your gaze, as if it were an insurmountable fact that one didn’t go against his wishes when faced with such a guise. You loathed how he was right.
“Fine, at least entertain me,” you whispered. Already, he looked as if he regretted not letting you go. “I’ve never seen you at a party before. Didn’t think you were the type to hook-up.”
You’d expected him to flush at your confrontational assumption, rather than the raised brow and head tilt you were met with. “And why’s that?”
“Because you’re so… you.” At his look did you shrug, rattled mind settling for the first adjective it thought of. “You’re cute.”
“What? It’s a compliment.” You pat his head.
“What am I? A dog?” He huffed, blown air inflating his cheeks. He swatted your hands away and crossed his arms. You didn’t think it was a good time to point out how, in that moment, he very much looked like the kicked puppy he tried not to be. “You know, I’m not as innocent as you think I am.”
“Evidently not,” you said. “Or you wouldn’t be here, stuck in a closet with me, sneaking out after a one night stand.”
“Who said anything about a one night stand?”
Your brow raised. “You have a partner?”
The dark did little to conceal the crimson burn of his cheeks and ears. “No, but I’m just saying. I hypothetically could have one. You don’t know me.”
“We’ve been seatmates for five months, Jungkook.”
“And not once have we actually talked.”
“Unless I’ve been talking to your secret twin, I don’t know what to tell you.”
“You complaining about our prof everytime she gives out an assignment isn’t a conversation.”
“Only because you’re a teacher’s pet.” You huffed. While he might not have appreciated your circadian quips, you didn’t think it was the worst seatmate bonding time. “Which brings me to my next question: why’d you go last night?”
“I can’t go to parties like a regular college student just because I’m me?”
You sent him a pointed look because, yes, you didn’t think he went to parties like a regular college student. While you might not have known what he got up to during his free time (seeing as he didn’t have social media), you were certain that none of it involved vomiting in his grandmother's antique vase after declining a three-way with his dealer and her boyfriend – something that has totally never happened to you.
“What?” he whined.
“Who’s the lucky person that managed to drag the golden boy away from his studies?” If you were sure of anything, it was this: infatuation led people to the most unexpected of places. For what other reason would you stay entrapped in a closet with a man in a Hawaiian polo?
His hair, as wavy as a stygian sea, bounced as he shook his head.
“If you don’t tell me, I might accidentally start speaking too loudly,” you teased, voice rising in volume.
Panicked, he placed his palm over your lips. “Keep your voice to a whisper.” He sighed, relenting. “I… I came last night because I wanted to see you.”
You blinked.
“To see me?”
His bunny teeth gnawed his lip. “I’ve always thought you were kinda cool.” His hands rose to cover his overheated ears. “C’mon, you definitely know I like you. I always act like such an idiot around you.”
You didn’t know. How could you have possibly known when he never spared you a second glance?
Reading your disbelief, he continued. “You don’t remember the notepad incident?”
The cogs in your brain turned until a memory snapped to the surface; one of him leaving his desk unattended during lecture, and you ruffling through his post-it notes out of boredom (because for reasons unknown to you, he had dozens in numerous colors). What you weren’t expecting to find were short letters—if they could even be called that—written in the backs of them. They talked about infatuation and the art of unrequited passion, thoughts you’d never associated Jungkook to having. So engrossed in their messages, you hadn’t realized when he had come back. “Who’s this about?” you had asked him as he swiped his stationary back from you, face flushed.
“You said it was poetry.”
He groaned. “What about all the times I let you copy off my homework?”
“I thought you were just being nice!”
Jungkook pouted, his foot softly stomping in frustration at your idiocy. “I’m not that nice.”
“Then why didn’t you approach me?” You hadn’t seen him the entire night.
He took a step back. “You were… busy.”
“Oh.” Your stomach dropped. “Jungkook, I-”
“No, no,” he panicked. “You don’t have to explain yourself, you don’t owe me anything. Seriously.”
“But I still feel bad.”
“Well, don’t, it’s not like I didn’t… yeah.”
“Well, the past is the past.” You forced him to meet your eyes with a tug of his chin. “We can always make up for lost time.”
His adam’s apple bobbed. “What?”
Your hands trailed his arms, surprised at the hard muscle. He shivered as you blew on his ear. “I’ve always thought you were cute, too.”
“Wait, really?”
“Yes, really,” you giggled. “You don’t think I have good taste?”
“If you did, I would’ve fucked you last night.”
You liked this bolder Jungkook. The one who met your gaze rather than shied from it.
“Well, if you had approached me, maybe you would have.” Your hands trailed his chest. “But we can always do it now.”
“What? Now? There are people outside.” His words supposed one thing but the hands resting on your hips said another.
“Should’ve thought of that before you dragged me in here.”
He curled inwards. “Sorry about that, by the way. I panicked.”
“Yeah, I could tell.” You pressed against his chest. The rise of his heartbeat drummed against your skin. “But if you hadn’t then I wouldn’t have been able to do this.”
The back of your hand grazed his crotch.
The teasing motion awoke in him something you had yet to see. His eyes darkened as he took a step closer to you, hands spread against the door behind you. He trapped you between his arms, his breath cascading across your skin. So slowly did he lean in that your wrist’s pulse began to tick like clockwork, as if it too were counting the seconds until he closed the gap.
When he did, you were knocked breathless.
His kiss was rough, not at all like the way he pressed against you. It was soft and passionate. Strange yet comfortable. Everything and nothing like you’d expected from this Jungkook.
Your hands ran through his hair, tangled in its softness. He tasted like mouthwash and smelled like baby power. He was the definition of intoxication, and you were content to be engulfed in his waters.
Pushing his hair from his eyes, he used his other hand to drag you closer to the center of his storm, the music of lips against lips a resounding orchestra. His giggles as you touched his neck were just as melodious as he wrapped his arms around your waist as if the closet were a ballroom and you were its guests.
There was no need for violas or harps, not when he pressed against you in harmonic promises. Soft groans fell from his lips faster than wisps of smoke dissipating after a lit candle had been extinguished. More than the fear of getting caught, you thought of the pressure of his hand on your back and his nose touching yours. You’d lost count of the times you had stepped on Jungkook's feet in the dark but his smile never dulled. He was the sun to whom you’d risk lighting yourself ablaze for even just a moment of his warmth.
In the eye of the storm, you were but a bird, flailing about until you could take off with outstretched wings and storm-swept feathers. You had taken care of a bird just like that in your adolescence, young and injured. You nursed it to health until its wings could carry its weight across the ether canvas. The next day, you’d seen a pack of hunting dogs and feathers across the field. You never took care of another wounded bird again.
You wondered if that were you, rising only to fall. It’d been years, yet the memory lingered. Would he only stay for as long as you were risen or would he be the genesis of your undoing?
Jungkook was infamous for all the wrong things yet loved for all the right ones. He was smart, diligent, outgoing – but he was also awkward, arrogant, and obsessive, only caring about his grades even if it meant putting his peers down and eating alone at breaks. He did internships and extracurriculars all day and studied until the break of dawn, but with every second that his rare attention was spent on you, your delusions that he was telling the truth about liking you grew bigger and bigger.
You were aware of all of this and still you fell into the depths of his being so completely that to let go of him would be to drown and never resurface. You didn’t believe that it was his intention to be so beguiling, but it didn’t stop him from entrapping you in the net that you had crafted yourself.
He liked you. Three words, he had said. Three beautiful words. When he looked at you like you were the answer to every question he had been asking the universe all his life, how were you supposed to want to let go? He said it once more against your lips. Then twice. Then thrice, until you no longer cared if you’d wake up the next day and find that only feathers remained. And so, you said those three words back, even if it would be the cause of your ruin.
You had no want for his reaction to your scarce genuinity. So when he inched away to confirm that he hadn’t misheard you, you pressed against him harder. “Did you-”
“Shut up,” you were quick to reply.
His tongue slipped between your lips. He sucked on the muscle as his once shy hands roamed behind you, squeezing your ass. Motivated by your soft groans, he ground his crotch against your front.
“I want you to fuck me,” you panted into his open mouth.
For a second, he stilled, as if shocked by the bluntness in which your words pierced him.
“You want that?” he tested the waters, resuming your kiss.
But you were impatient. “Please, Jungkook.”
“You really want our first time to be in a closet where anyone could hear us?”
“Yes,” you said. You wanted it. Needed it. “You could fuck me anywhere, I just need your cock in me now.”
“Fuck, that’s so hot,” he groaned, unable to stop the jerking of his hips against you.
You smirked against his lips. “Really? Never thought my innocent little seatmate would be into this sort of thing.”
His eyes narrowed. “You really want me to prove it to you, huh?”
You played along. “I really don’t know what you mean.”
“You want me to treat you like the slut you are?” he teased. You shook, putty under his words. “You’re really sure?”
The dark rings in his eyes softened as he waited for your consent. His hands caressed the outside of your arms with a gentleness so sudden it gave you whiplash. Not that you needed his forbearance.
“Please, Jungkook, I want it.”
The heat between you returned at your panted answer. “You like being called what you are, huh?” The tone of his whisper made his voice that much more provocative.
“If I’m a slut, then what are you?” You eyed the marks on his neck with a grin.
He laughed as he dragged against your clothed core. His lips hovered over your own, smirking as you chased it when he pulled away. “You talk too much.” He tapped two fingers against your bottom lip. “Real sluts know what to do when I do this, don’t they?”
He pressed you harder against the door with his hips as you began to suck on his fingers. You had half a mind to tease him as he had teased you, but you had never been a patient person. Your tongue slobbered all over his digits as spit fell down your chin and onto your chest. You sucked and sucked; it rolled in your mouth the way you wanted to do to the cock rubbed against you. You humped him like a bitch in heat as his fingers reached as deep as they could in your mouth, trying to locate the spot that would make you gag.
He smirked at the sound when he found it. “Can’t even take my fingers? How is my cock ever going to fuck your warm throat?” His unoccupied hand applied pressure around your neck. You gasped at the new feeling and the delicious lightheadedness that came with it.
“Filthy slut, fucking some guy you barely know when you know I like you?” He grabbed you by the chin, forcing you to keep eye contact with him. “Had to watch you act like a dumb whore just for some cock when you could’ve had mine so easily, baby. I had to fuck some random chick because of how hard your little outfit made me.” He grabbed your hand and placed it over his clothed crotch. “You feel how hard I am? This is all for you.” He sighed. “Whoring yourself out for some other guy and not even offering me your services? I’m disappointed in you.”
The prior night had been a drunken blur, and you could barely recall how you grinded against the stranger you’d spent the evening with. Apparently, he had seen it all; how that other man had almost fucked you in the middle of the dance floor, lips pressed against your neck, fingers pinching your nipples through your top.
Jungkook grabbed your face. He squished your cheeks together until your mouth opened. His tongue swirled in his mouth to collect his spit. “Say ‘ah’,” he cooed, before dripping his saliva down your throat. He used his thumb to push back the bits of it that leaked from the corner of your lips. “Swallow.”
Your body burned as you swallowed both your pride and his fluids. He pried open your mouth after he watched your throat bob to ensure you had swallowed every last drop. “Messy slut,” he degraded.
His lips collided with yours once more. A nasty, wet kiss, that left your toes curling and lower stomach fluttering. He sucked on the skin all around your face, dragging his tongue back and forth as if claiming ownership over you in the messiest way possible. He suctioned his way to your collarbone, only stopping to help you out of your top.
“You’re so fucking hot,” he groaned. “I’ve jerked off to you so many times – even when I was fucking someone else last night, I thought of you. Do you know how difficult it was not to moan your name? I can’t believe I finally get to taste you.”
“But I wanna taste you first.” You pushed him away to unbutton his shirt.
His defined abs were a surprise in itself, but they weren’t what caused you to gasp.
“Okay, I know now that you’re not my innocent little classmate, but I didn’t expect this.”
‘This’ being the two metal rods pierced through his nipples.
He snorted at your genuine reaction. “Yeah, yeah, geek in the streets, freak in the sheets,” he said. “Now, suck.”
You didn’t need his command to lower your head and place his pierced nipple between your lips. You lapped at the left peak, the cool metal resting on your tongue.
He only bothered to unbutton and lift his pants low enough to free his cock. It bounced against his stomach, rockhard and covered with pre-cum.
Jungkook was huge. And he knew it.
“You’re…” There were millions of words in the dictionary, yet none could describe how wanton he left you feeling. His hands gripped the base and tapped it against his stomach. A droplet of cum leaked down the side, and it took all your mental strength not to drop to your knees right then. “Can I please suck your cock?”
He pet your head. “You’re only an obedient puppy when you want something, hm? Bet you say that to all the other guys you whore yourself out to.”
He pushed on you until you fell to your knees. You kept your gaze on how he licked his lips and looked down on you, though it was difficult when his large cock swang near you like a meal to the starved. He slapped his dick around your cheeks and forehead, his pre-cum rubbing across your closed eyelids to your chin. He avoided your lips.
You thought yourself akin to Tantalus, a man cursed by Zeus to stand in a pool of water beneath a fruit tree with low branches; when he’d go to drink, the water would recede, and when he went to eat, the branch moved out of reach.
“How badly do you want my cock in your dumb whore mouth?”
“More than anything.” Your hands tightened around his thighs. He still wore all his clothes, and the image was as teasing as the cock he continued to slap you with. “Only need you.”
“Oh, I know that, baby,” he said. “The question is whether you’re a good enough whore to deserve it.”
“Please let this whore suck your large cock,” you begged, taking a page from his book and staring up at him with puppy-dog eyes, mewling against his leg. “I’m just a dumb bimbo willing to do anything for cock.”
He, finally, tapped his length against your lips. You waited for his command before you licked the head, scared he’d retreat if you didn’t obey him.
“Open,” he said. A word you’d never been happier to hear.
Prepared now for his length, you held in your need to gag as you slid him down. His brow raised, impressed. “You must’ve taken a lot of cock down this throat, you’re too good at this.”
Deeper and deeper, he went. You winked when your lips met the base of it.
“You’re too fucking good, bet you have a line of guys dreaming about your pretty lips wrapped around them.” His hand pushed and pulled you harder, treating you as nothing more than a toy thats only purpose was to suck cock. “Do you know how my friends talk about you? They think you’re so pretty, baby. I can’t even blame them for talking about how much they wanna fuck you. Turn you into their cockslut. They’re so jealous that I get to see your cute face everyday. Of course, it’s not only your face that I look at.”
With the way your arousal increased with his every thrust, it was as if your mouth was connected to your hole.
The room filled with his heavy breathing. He bit his fist to keep quiet, conscious of the noise that continued to permeate the hallway a door away. You whined when he threw his head back, no longer able to watch how his skin pinked and his pupils widened at your ministrations.
Jungkook was ethereal, using your face as a glorified hole for his pleasure.
“Doesn’t take much to turn you into a cockslut, does it?” He pulled you to your feet, ignoring your complaints of wanting him back in your mouth. “You’re so easy that it’s almost boring.”
Every word out of his mouth made your core clench.
He turned you to face the wall and pulled your bottoms off to have access to your hole. You jumped when he lightly spanked your center.
When he noticed the ceiling hook directly above you, he grinned. “Lift your arms, slut.”
Your back to him, you couldn’t see how he grabbed one of your clothes and used it to tie your wrists to the hook. He adjusted it until he deemed you comfortable enough.
He pinched your ass, spreading your cheeks to reveal your winking hole. “Such a slutty fucking hole, all for me, isn’t that right?”
“Yes,” you said. “All for you, only you.”
“You probably don’t even need to be prepped, huh? Sluts are always ready.”
Still, he sat down on his calves and began to trace you with the rough pads of his fingers. His other hand held onto your hips as you began to buck around, the touch so teasing that it left you desperate for more.
You were no stranger to sex and the pleasure that came with it, yet Jungkook’s touch felt so different from all the others you’ve been with. Even your own hands, hands that knew your body better than anyone else, paled in comparison to his teasing movements. He would give you just enough of what you needed before retreating, leaving your body in a constant tug and pull of ecstasy and wanting.
And then his lips. Plush and soft. He kissed around you before diving in, his tongue making a home for itself in you. The muscle wiggled around to touch your tight walls.
“I knew it,” he groaned, losing himself in you. “You taste so fucking good.”
Wads of his spit were shoved into you with his fingers. He would gather his saliva and finger it as deep as he could, repeating the process until you were overflowing. It wasn’t even that he was prepping you, you realized, he just loved turning you into a messy slut covered in him.
He spat onto your ass once more, massaging it into your skin.
“I’d ask if you were ready for my cock, but I know you are,” he said, pressing his chest onto your back and rubbing his length down your crack.
“I need it.” You rubbed your ass against his crotch, enticing him to fuck you full.
So, he did.
“It slid right in,” he moaned. “Do I have to thank whoever fucked you last night for loosening you up for me?”
You wanted to watch him, but the knots above you were too tight to turn. All you could do was hang pliant, nothing but a body to be used for Jungkook. After all his teasing, he didn’t wait for you to adjust to his ginormous length before bottoming out. His pace was rapid as he jackhammered into you.
Your mouth hung open, brain emptied in pleasure.
“I’m gonna need you to be quiet, baby,” he whispered in your ear. “Wanna be a good slut for me and keep that whore mouth shut, hm?”
You’d been left drunk by his words alone, the consonants and vowels swirled in your mind until all you could think of was the shaft that dragged against your insides. Back and forth. Back and forth.
“Nothing but a dumb little fuckhole for me to breed, isn’t that right?”
It became more difficult with every thrust to hold back your moans without hands to bite on.
“You like that?” He delivered a harsh thrust into you. “Want to be nothing but a cumdump? Gonna make you take all my cum, have it dripping down your thighs as you walk home, forced to think of me fucking you every step of the way there.”
“Fuck,” you hiss. “Feels so good.”
“Did I say you could speak?”
You whined when his cock slipped out, fearful that he might leave you unfinished. Instead, he rustled through your fallen clothes on the floor. When he stood, you had a suspicion of what came next.
He shoved the wad of lace into your parted lips.
“Snap your fingers twice if you want out, okay?”
He slid his cock back into you, moving at a slower pace this time. He would pull out until only his head remained, before violently shoving back in until his balls pounded onto your ass.
“I think I like you better like this,” he smirked as he tugged your chin to face him. He angled your face side-to-side, as one would inspect goods in a market. After a moment, he nodded in approval. You could imagine what he saw: a slut with snot dripping from their nose, tears raining from their eyes, and new marks littering their neck replacing the ones before it. “You know what I’d do if you were mine?” He sniffed your neck, hot breath tickling your skin.
Your head shook.
“I’d fuck your pretty ass until it’s dripping with my cum. Would plug you up and have you walk around and attend class, feeling all of my seed in your belly with every little movement you make. You wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything without my help, hm, baby? I’d turn you into a dumb little bimbo who needs me for even the littlest tasks.” Your eyes rolled at the purr of his tone as he whispered every single thing he’d do to you against the lobe of your ear. “Good sluts take whatever I give them.”
“I need that so bad,” your voice came out muffled from beneath the fabric. You wanted to tug your wrists from where he’d tied them above you and feel his skin beneath your palms.
He caressed your nape with a condescending laugh. “I know you do. I’d train you to be the perfect cumdump. My cumdump. Would have you wearing the shortest clothes and bend you over every surface so that everyone passing by could see your messy hole. And you’d love it, wouldn’t you? Would love everyone watching you, knowing that I’m the only one allowed to touch you… until I ask my friends to play with you, of course. I’m not that selfish.” You tightened around him. “Oh, you’d love to be passed around and gang-banged. You’d be so filled up with cum that your stomach would bloat.”
Clearly, he had an exhibitionist streak (among a plethora of other kinks). Something you should’ve guessed by how quickly his pants tented when you suggested fucking in a closet. Evidently, you had the same streak, if your clenched slit had anything to say for it.
“You’re so fucking tight. I never wanna leave this hole.”
You were thankful he had stuffed your ruined panties in your mouth lest he heard your mindless babbles as you neared your climax.
His hips began to thrust even faster than you would’ve thought possible. Your heart spiked as each motion made noise loud enough for the outside to hear – but you could no longer care, lost in the sensations of his hard cock belitting you into nothing more than a hole to fuck.
“You take my cock so easily. Didn’t even need much prep. You’re just a common whore, aren’t you?”
You feverishly nodded.
He reached around you to remove the wad of cotton from your mouth. “Where do you want my cum?” he groaned, the words rushing from his lips as he chased his climax.
“In me,” you cried into your shoulder, barely conscious enough to not want to get caught. “I need you to fill me with your seed.”
“Fuck,” he moaned. “You’re so hot, you know that? Could fuck you for the rest of my life.”
In and out. In and out. His hips moved so swiftly that you could no longer think, sufficiently dick-drunk. He no longer cared about pacing, simply using you as a doll to get off.
“I want you to cum with me,” he said. His dominant demeanor faded as he desperately clung onto every inch of your skin, hand roaming your sides as he chased his end. His fingers began tugging at your nipples roughly, urging you to reach the finale with him. His words were breathlessly rushed as if they fell from his lips without thought: “Need you to cum, need to feel you cum around me. Shit. You look so pretty fucked out. Such a good slut for me. You’re doing so good, baby.”
Your orgasm crashed against you like a tidal wave, unexpected and violent. Your body thrashed against your binds, hips jerking back and forth as pleasure overtook you - possessed you, almost. Your hole pulsed against his cock, tightening around the length as fluids overflowed.
He jerked into you once more, his cum painting your insides. Soft expletives fell from his lips between praises as he gently rocked his hips into you to ensure his cum wouldn’t spill.
The sensation of his cock slipping out of you felt like heaven and sin.
You hadn’t orgasmed so destructively in… you couldn’t remember having ever experienced anything that came close to that. You weren’t certain if it was because of the risk of getting caught or because Jungkook was that good. Perhaps, it was a mix of both.
You shook at the binds above you, tired from your orgasm.
He wasn’t quite finished, however.
You waited, confused, until you felt his tongue lap your hole, sucking his cum out of you. Sensitive, your feet kicked at him to stop, but he was relentless in his mission to fill his mouth with his own seed.
Your stomach curled at the mischievous glint in his eyes as he stood. He pried your mouth open with his fingers before depositing all of his saliva-mixed cum onto your tongue. “Don’t swallow yet, baby.”
He leaned on your body with a softness that matched his gaze, his hand resting on your hip, his chest on your back. His fingers played with the fluids in your mouth, swirling it with your spit until it combined into a mess that ran down your chin (which he licked up and spat back in). Content, he finally commanded you to swallow.
The thick concoction ran down your throat slowly, becoming a part of you. You groaned at the heady sensation alongside Jungkook’s pliant kisses around your nape.
He gently untied your wrists from the hook, rubbing the skin from any soreness. When he was done, he rocked your tired body back-and-forth to soothe you. You crumpled onto his figure as if your bones had disintegrated to dust.
“We… We really just did that.” Jungkook had finally come back to himself, doe eyes widened as if he had broken from a spell. “Are you alright?”
You laughed breathlessly. “Yeah, you?”
He nodded, scratching at his nape.
The next few minutes consisted of an awkward dance, the pair of you picking up your clothes, constantly stumbling against each other in the process. Each time, Jungkook would avert his gaze to the ceiling or the floor – whatever he could do to give you privacy in the confined quarters of a storage closet. The silence was so thick that to distort it with words felt unnatural. He only spoke to tell you that the hallway was quiet, no longer occupied by the residents of the house, and that you were both free to leave unnoticed.
Even the goodbye was stilted, as if you had been possessed by beings other than yourselves during the incident and were now left to deal with the consequences.
Under the morning light outside, Jungkook flushed as red as a polluted sunset. He gingerly waved from where he stood, making sure that you got into your Uber safely (only after nagging the driver to escort you with utmost caution). Your lips parted, but the words wouldn’t surface. Instead, you settled for a wave back.
A smile cracked on his lips as he watched your car hug the corner of the street and disappear from view.
The next time you saw Jungkook was during a lecture. His glasses were back on his face, sweater vest tucked into his trousers. He looked nothing like the man who had fucked you dumb the weekend before, back to being the epitome of what you’d expect every nerd who took college too seriously to look like.
You took your usual seat beside him, unsure if bringing it up casually would make him uncomfortable. Already, his cheeks and ears were red, and you could almost feel the heat radiating off of them.
You exchanged shy greetings before returning to your individual tasks: him, pretending to rewrite notes (when really he was doodling on the corners of his notebook), and you, pretending to send a text (when really you were swiping your homescreen back and forth).
He shot you furtive glances when he thought you weren’t looking. His fingers drummed against the table and his knee shook as if he was working up the courage to say anything. Gone was the boy who had had all the words ready in the palm of his hand that morning.
“Hey,” you smiled. “Did you start on the final project already?”
His head whipped towards you, wide eyes and parted lips telling you he hadn’t expected you to make the first move, perhaps content to fester in the ruined classmate relationship after your somewhat strained goodbye post-rendezvous. How does one act after confessing your feelings and subsequently fucking in a closet? You knew how to react to hook-ups, and you knew how to react to confessions, but both? At the same time? Your head spun.
“I- That-” He struggled to gather his words as each consonant slipped through his fingers like fine sand. He, a past valedictorian, had been left dumb. “I did,” he croaked out. “You?”
“Of course, you did.” You laughed, the sound more metallic than you’d intended. “I’m gonna start next week.”
“Cool,” Jungkook replied.
The silence thickened the air between you like smog. The minute stretched on for forever, the pair of you waiting for the other to break the silence first in an unannounced game of chicken.
“I just-” “I don’t-”
Your voices overlapped each other, causing you to exchange awkward grins.
Jungkook cleared his throat. “Can I start?”
You told him to go ahead.
“I just wanted you to know that I meant what I said about liking you.” He rubbed his nape. “I didn’t mean for what happened to happen, but I don’t regret it.”
His gaze burned into your own as if he were searching for any clues as to what you felt. It was terrifying, the sincerity in which it pierced you. But you had no want to run from it. Not anymore.
“I don’t regret it, either,” you said. “Plus, that might’ve been one of the hottest hook-ups I’ve ever had.”
He blushed. “And about the ‘me liking you’ part?”
You dragged your chair closer to his. “After the way you treated me, how could I not?”
It took him a moment to compose himself, back ramrod straight as goosebumps ran down his arms at the turn he hadn’t expected the conversation to take. He anxiously glanced at the row behind where you two sat, teeth biting into his bottom lip in a way you found infatuating. You were thankful to every god out there that he had been caught in traffic that first day and forced to sit in the back row beside you. Jungkook, who had been nothing more than a cute, grade-conscious stranger at the time.
The minute it took for him to steel his nerves was worth it, you found out.
Just in time, the professor walked through the door and began taking attendance. You were so focused on waiting that you jumped when Jungkook’s hand began trailing up and down your thigh.
Your eyes widened.
“Did you really like it?” he whispered.
“Like what?”
“The way I treated you.”
There were thousands of ways you could’ve affirmed his statement, but you settled for a nod.
His hand moved up your inner thigh, nearing your crotch. The upward jerk of your hips caused a satisfied smirk to settle on his lips. “If you want to continue being my good pet, then don’t make a sound.”
So enthralled were you in his touch that you hadn’t realized that your professor had called you. Twice.
“Present,” you yelled, embarrassed by the startled shakiness in your tone.
“Good pet,” he praised, rubbing harder through your clothes. “You want more?”
Jungkook licked his fingers with a nymph gaze. With his free hand, he unbuttoned your pants.
Paranoid, you glanced around the lecture hall.
“Don’t kid yourself,” his low tone caused goosebumps to run across your arms. “I know a common whore like you wants to be stared at while being used.”
His hand dipped into your underwear, moving directly to your hole. He rubbed the area around it before inserting a finger into you, deliciously wiggling it around. His spit allowed it to smoothly enter you with a soft ‘squish’.
In front, the lesson had begun. Not that you could pay attention. Your focus zeroed in on the intoxicating slowness in which Jungkook made a toy out of you, hand moving back and forth.
“Can someone please read the first section on page 130?”
You froze as your professor began glancing up and down the rows in search of a prospect, disappointed at the disinterested gazes of her students. This would be the time that, like clockwork, Jungkook’s arm would raise. And yet it stayed, connected to you below the table.
A historical moment: Jungkook not volunteering.
Instead, he did something entirely different.
You gasped when he grabbed your arm and made you raise your hand.
“Great,” the professor acknowledged you, gesturing you to begin.
You quickly flipped through the pages, hands shaking when you realized that Jungkook wouldn’t stop. If anything he began to finger you faster, hitting the area that caused spots to cloud your vision.
Your voice shook as you read out the passage. Scattered letters chased each other on the page; your eyes raced to keep up with them. Had the words always been so small?
Jungkook had fingered you dumb enough to forget how to read.
“Though scholars believed that–” He pushed his fingers directly against your most sensitive spot. “–That, um, though they believed that–”
You accidentally made eye contact with a few of your classmates, their impatience with your slow pace making it hard for you to wring the words into sentences. Your voice came out breathy yet stilted, guttural stops after every few words.
When you finished the section, you leaned against the back of your chair in relief as the class resumed. Jungkook, however, was a stranger to giving you breaks, simply speeding his ministrations.
The feeling in the pit of your stomach heightened the faster he went. Your eyes bounced around the nearby rows to check if anyone noticed the slight creaking sound that came from this new speed, but were reassured to find that everyone was busy analyzing a chart on the projector.
When you turned to face him, you were pleased to find that half of his notes were in scribbles. You’d be quite offended if your tightness around his fingers weren’t at least a bit of a distraction to the star pupil. You had half a mind to joke about fucking one of your classmates to borrow their notes to lend to him just so that he’d jealousy-fuck you the moment class dismissed. You were just about to when you felt it – that tell-tale tightening.
“Jungkook,” you whispered, your legs beginning to shake. “I’m coming.”
His lips brushed against the lobe of your ear. “Cum for me then, slut.”
You breathed so heavily from holding back your moans that you became lightheaded, lost in the euphoria of your danger-filled release. The world was but a blur as you crumpled into your seat exhausted. You hadn’t even realized how Jungkook’s fingers slipped out of you, nor how he buttoned you up and kissed your forehead.
Above, the bell ringing signalled the end of the class, alongside the routine sounds of chairs scraping against hardwood floors and stationary being stuffed into totes and backpacks.
The two of you were left alone in the classroom, eyes finding one another in the solitude.
You grinned, still in a daze. “There isn’t a CCTV in here, right?”
He moved you onto the desk, hands gripping your hips. “Even if there was, would you care?”
And the answer was ‘no’, you didn’t. As long as you were wrapped in your seatmate’s warmth and greeted with his shy yet teasing smiles, you wouldn’t have cared where he touched you. What could’ve been a one morning stand began a series of trysts both public and private, and you both wouldn’t have had it any other way.
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thank u for reading!! <3 if u liked it let me know ! : ✉
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© rendaze 2021. all rights reserved. copying, reposting, translating, and modifying in any platform or by any means is NOT permitted.
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kimnjss · a day ago
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great boyfriend
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— you’re barreling into his life when he least expects it, stealing all his attention until the nights spent studying are replaced with rolling around the sheets. he’s hopelessly romantic and you’re in it for the fun, but no one told you it would ruin your life.
⥖ masterlist ⥓
⇝ taglist: @agustdef @yoon2k @jaiuneamesolitaiire @amour-quinn @dee-ehn @gldnrecs @hopeworldjimin @preciouschimine @diminieshoe @silentlyimpractical @btsbangtanbois​ @agustneeds @redluvletmain @tae165 @joontopia @dionysusrage​ @hellotherehoneybee​ @certifiedcrazycatlady​ @morseszn​ @yoooonie​ @peachy-tata​ @lochness-butmakeitsexy​ @rikisnotforsale​ @v3nti​ @namjoonsillegaldimple​ @hobiismyhopeu​ @ggukkieland​ @telepathylftv​ @kxdrawhl​ @morndas​ @prdshobi​ @codeinebelle​ @rageyoudamnednerd​ @jiminshibaby​ @lil-sracha​ @arya-di-angelo​ @todorokiskitten​ @ayyyocee​ @salty-for-suga​ @stepheboo​ @bloomtilweache​ @taefect94​ @jooniesbanoonies​ @bluewhale52​ @stcrwhiz​ @sweeneyblue1​ @onlythehobi​ @minesuga​ @butterflylion​ @veronawrites​
A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!
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breakiebunny · a month ago
Willow| JJK
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Summary: You were always there for Jungkook, no matter the intensity of the trouble he was in, you were always there for him.
genre: college student! Jungkook x reader!, best friends to lovers.
Warnings/tags: Angst, fluff, smut, fingering, oral, mentions of unprotected sex, panic attacks, insecurities, accidental pregnancy/child, dirty talk, pet names.
Words: 23.7K
A.N: Hello, it is finally here, i hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think with your comments and asks, knowing what you guys think mean the world to me, really you have no idea how that lifts up my spirits when I don`t feel motivated, anyways, please enjoy lovelies <33333
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You look around the coffee shop where Jungkook was supposed to meet you twenty minutes ago, you didn’t plan on meeting him there, it was just understood between the two of you even a ritual if you had to give it a word, both of you came to this shop to grab coffee before your classes and usually you were the one getting late not him, never him, never even when you were kids, Jungkook was always the impatient one, his impatient nature forced him to do things early, meeting you somewhere to hangout was nothing different, he was always before time and you were glad because you never had to wait instead, you always got scolded for not being on time even if you are five minutes late. You lean back in the seat, chewing on your bottom lip as you look outside the window. No sign of him. You look down at you phone, his chat still open, a thread of your messages sent to him can be seen but still nothing from him, he wasn’t even at home when you left in the morning. You huff. Is he okay? Your best friend instinct kicks in.
He never takes care of himself, he`s careless like that, plays with a band in the college and they have gigs even on week days sometimes, he`s always sleep deprived on those days, if it was up to him he would run on caffeine and sour patch kids for the rest of his life, meal prep or real food was not really his thing because deep down Jungkook knew you would never let him starve, he can be careless all he wants but you will never let him go a day without a good nap and homemade food. You can never. He knew that and he was thankful for you in more in than one ways, he cried tears of joy the day he got accepted in the same university as you but of course he will never tell anyone that, separation anxiety from you would really fuck him up. It was not planned consciously that the two of you had to be in the same college but you two had sent applications to all the colleges together so when you decided where you wanted to go, Jungkook hoped he would get accepted in that one too and he did thankfully and to be honest you were thankful that he chose that same college as well. Your mother was very happy to hear the news, after your father left you and her one day out of nowhere to start a new life with his second wife, your mother was broken, devastated, weak but at the same time she raised you like a father and mother both, the Jeon family and their dumb son were a breath of fresh air in your boring and broken life, they accepted you and your mother like a family member and you could tell after so long your mother didn’t feel lonely anymore, she had a friend in Mrs. Jeon, a brother in Mr. Jeon and a son in Jungkook. The parents were over the moon that the two of you will be together to help each other out away from home and nothing really changed except for the location and that now you two slept under the same roof daily and not just for sleepovers. It was really fun and a dream come true really to be able to live with your best friend.
You get up, taking his coffee with you and leave, your class starts in ten minutes, hopefully you`ll find him on your way to class, but no there was no sign of him anywhere. You try calling him but he doesn’t pick up. Oh well maybe he had a show last night, he must be tired. You shove the phone back in your pocket and head to class. Your mind still on your dumb best friend and his reckless lifestyle. Why is he like this? You huff once again, not knowing how to fix that asshole so that he acts something like a normal human being.
After your classes for the day, you decide to catch up on some lessons in the library but before that you decide to check your phone once again, give Jungkook a little piece of your mind.
“Jungkook, your mids are close, you better be shaking sick in the bed to miss a whole day of classes or else I`m going to break your nose, take care, I love you and eat something” you text him with a small smile. You knew he has more than one reasons to be in bed right now, more than you would like to admit and if he is not home yet that means he`s over some girl`s place, still in dreamland, his phone on silent. Were you jealous of all these other girls? Yes and no. you were actually jealous of Jungkook, jealous of how he can keep his feelings at border so much that his booty calls are almost “Proffessional”, jealous of how he can just brush off all this intimate connection between him and the other person like its something casual, of course you have gone through that stage where you thought “Oh damn, my best friend is hot” in the heat and high of puberty you two have kissed a few times, gentle pecks here and there and that you think about and get a good deep chuckle. Those pecks were a terrible practice for the real deal. You giggle at the memory when you first had your first real kiss with a boy named Jaebeom and when he tried to deepen the kiss you pushed him and ran, thinking that`s not what me and Jungkook practiced for, nope this one is different, this one is not right. Thankfully you have not embarrassed yourself by confessing your one true love to Jungkook in the heat of the moment at thirteen years old or else that idiot would`ve made your life a living hell, even now in college, you were glad that wave of loving your best friend came by itself and went by itself too. You would like to think that it passed and what you feel right now about him is just you being the bestest best friend, of course it is, come on? You`re not thirteen anymore and neither is he, you two are best friends but he`s the total opposite of you, he`s serious about nothing, mostly nothing.
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Your feet and back are killing you when you arrive outside the house you and Jungkook shared, it was a cozy, small and homely house, you loved it and so did Jungkook. Your fingers press into your nape to ease some tension there, hours of bending it on the study table was showing its effects now, you hope Jungkook was home and hopefully he ordered something and not cooked something himself because that will only make your blood pressure shoot up, he`s a messy cook and then he pouts and whines his way into talking you into helping him clean the kitchen, you help him of course, who would? If you didn’t. You walked into a silent home, hmm that was unusual, maybe Jungkook isn’t home. Did he get scared of your little threat via text earlier? You chuckle, placing your keys on the table; your bag falls down your shoulder when you hear a distant clank of pots in the kitchen. Oh no! is he cooking something? You rush to the kitchen to stop him, tell him to order something; even pineapple pizza would be fine rather than having to clean up the kitchen. You walk into the kitchen to see Jungkook by the counter, mixing what looked like some powder milk into a glass, maybe it was his protein shake or something, the portion was very little but what do you know?
“Hey.” You say, a little relieved that your friend has not decided to cook anything.
“Hey…y/n…you`re home early.” He looks like he`s seen a ghost, maybe you looked like one right now after your exhausting day.
“Yeah, I took a day off from work, I was so fucking tired.” You exhale loudly walking towards him lazily. “What are you doing?” you ask him, grabbing yourself some water.
“I…” His voice cracks, when you turn towards him.
“Jungkook, are you okay? You don’t look too good.” You notice the way his complexion is drained of all color, his long brownish black hair flop on his eyes in multiple little curls making him look so cute it had to be illegal because he wasn’t even trying; his pouty pink lips were dry as he licked them out of habit.
“Jungkook? What happened? You`re scaring me.” You walk around the isle to get closer to him he squirms a little, adjusting his posture like he was hiding something behind his back.
“Jungkook, what are you…” you move towards him, trying to look past him. “What did you spill this time? Show me dumb bitch, I will kill…” you were furious, trying to move him to the side, after one significant push, you manage to push him to the side, but you wish you hadn’t. You inhale an audible breath in, your palm pressed to your mouth.
“Y/n…please…let me…” Jungkook holds out his trembling hands to hold your forearms, his eyes switching from yours to the ground.
“Jungkook, what is this? Oh my god!” your words are mumbled against your palm as you look down at a peacefully sleeping baby.
“Y/n…I`m sorry…I…” Jungkook finally breaks down, now you understand why he looked so disheveled.
“Jungkook, hey…ssh, calm down, whose baby is this? Don’t tell me you stole a baby kook.” you hold him closer to you, he leans into your touch just like he always did. You were his safe place, where he knew, he will not be judged, where he knew, he would get help and solutions to his problems.
“Y/n.” he looks at you, tears and fear swimming in his big eyes, the thin red veins creating a web in the whites of his eyes as he sniffles, bottom lip trembling. This was serious.
“She is mine.” Jungkook breathes out and you forget how to breathe as you stare at him wide eyed not knowing what to do. A soft cry of the baby laying down in the cot makes you break away your fixed stare on the boy in front of you, your eyes focus on his pale face, tears sticking to his colorless cheeks making a trail down to his chin, he hiccups, he`s been crying, maybe for hours. You bend down to pick up the small human being from the cot, you took babysitting jobs before college but never for a baby this small, she was literally a baby, not even a year old. You think.
“Hey, hey…shhh…shhh, you`re okay…sshh.” You cradle her on your shoulder, her small face finds warmth in the crook of your neck as you rub her back, that seems to calm to her down a bit as she whimpers softly against your shoulder, she was not crying anymore but you could feel that she was uncomfortable.
“Why the fuck did you bring her in the kitchen Jungkook? It`s freezing in here.” You hiss walking out of the kitchen, the baby cradled in your arm carefully, she makes a sound as she gets comfortable in your hold, Jungkook gulps, following you. you knew you both didn’t have a blanket her size, so you go to your room and take out your soft woolen lilac colored cardigan.
“Spread it on the bed.” You motion with your head when you see Jungkook lingering by your door. He moves quickly on his feet, his eyes are still frantic as he is wondering why you`re not shaking up a storm right now, but how could you? not when you had the most angelic looking baby girl in your arms, not when her dumb father was planning on freezing her to death. Your room was warmer, you put her small body on the cardigan, wrapping both sides of it around her carefully so that she`s covered well, she tries to kick the fabric off with a happy cry making you give her a smile, her round doe eyes looking back at you, they looked awfully familiar.
“Does she have a feeder? I think she`s gonna be upset without it.” You pick her up from the bed.
“No, nothing came with her.” Jungkook says like he`s explaining that his favorite toy didn’t come with some spare parts.
“It`s 1pm Jungkook, don’t tell me you didn’t feed her? When did she come here?” you hold the baby close to your chest, she snuggles in the warmth making your heart clench.
“I got her from the hospital at around 9 in the morning, the nurse fed her and changed her diaper, she told me.” He says looking down at his feet; his voice didn’t hold that energy it usually held.
“Jeon Jungkook, you can`t even go an hour without pigging out on something and you kept this poor baby hungry for hours?” your voice was low enough for the anger you were feeling right now, no wonder this poor child was fussy.
“Babies this small need to be fed like every hour or something,” you say walking towards the door.
“Come on, we`re going to get her some things.” You tell him.
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You two come back with lots of bags, all of them held by Jungkook as you held the baby, she was changed and fed at the baby store, the owner was a very nice middle aged woman who took you and Jungkook as a clueless young couple and you played along with it, not really seeing the point in explaining something you didn’t even understand yourself, you were shook to the core by the news, Jungkook? A father? How? When? Why? You had all kinds of questions for him but right now you couldn’t lash out on him, you had this infant in your arms, it was not her fault that her parents are some irresponsible horny teenagers, this little angel deserved nothing of your anger and you were planning on keeping it that way. You will talk to Jungkook, maybe when she`ll be asleep. The lady in the store had hooked you on the right formula for a baby her age; she said that her experience says she looks five to six months old, you took her word for it because by the time you got to the store the baby in your arms was shaking up the entire block with her cries and screams earning you few judgmental glares and stares. Jungkook behind you closely without a word, he was mostly silent, doing what you told him to do.
She looked peaceful after she got her diaper changed and got fed, sleeping against your chest, your arm was cramped but you didn’t dare move it, getting out of the car carefully. When did you get to this point? You didn’t even thought of something like this when you woke up this morning. Jungkook, you little…The baby whimpers.
“Sshh, sshh” you loll her a little close to you and she calms down again. Jungkook opens the door for you and you go straight for your room, placing her on your bed, putting two pillows on either side of her just to be careful, the new baby pink blanket with small teddy bears on it was handed to you by Jungkook, he hesitated, he looked sad, nothing like Jungkook and it broke your heart, you take it from his hand and put it on the sleeping fairy. This was not what she deserved, she should not be greeted with a sad and scared father, she should make him happy, happy for her to be in his life. Your heart broke at the thought when you looked down at her and back to Jungkook, your anger dissolving quickly, it was done and you or Jungkook couldn’t do anything about it.
“Y/n..” Jungkook says.
“Shh.” You cut him off and walk towards the door; he takes the hint when you hold the door for him, shutting it slowly as you two walk towards the living room. You plop down on the couch, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
“You were about to give her formula for two year olds and that too in a glass.” You can`t help but chuckle at Jungkook`s idiot tendencies, rubbing your eyes with the heels of your hands.
“I just grabbed whatever in hurry from the hospital pharmacy; I didn’t know they make…it for different ages.” Now it makes sense, why the pharmacy guy was looking at him a little weird.
“So…what is all of this kook? Can you help me understand?” you say leaning back on the couch, you were not angry like you were earlier, you were genuinely curious about how he got himself into this situation, it was not surprising that he attracted trouble once again, the kind of trouble was a little alarming this time though, this was some serious stuff. A child? This Jungkook who was smashed on this couch after emptying his guts on the side walk last weekend is now a father on a Wednesday afternoon?
“Do you remember Hanee?” He says timidly, still afraid that you will get angry, you did all the time when he got in trouble but you also helped him, helped him get out of those problems like no one did. You were a mystery to him, you always have been. He has done so many things for you to break this friendship with him, but you didn’t and he was thankful for it because honestly he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you weren’t there. He can take on a fight against a dragon if you said he could do it, he`s dependent on you, too much for a person who doesn’t like to be attached to anyone or anything but it was you, you were an exception.
“The waitress from that bar your band played at?” of course you remember Hanee, tall, brunette, dimples, bright eyes, just gorgeous. Of course you remember her, how could you not? Her screams and moans are still etched into your mind when one day Jungkook decided to bring her back to the house, he never really brought his hook ups home out of respect or maybe he didn’t wanted the morning to be awkward, always spent the night at the girl`s place if he had to and you thanked God for this because that night was, well, really loud. You and your poor neighbors didn’t get a lick of sleep. Jungkook didn’t knew you were home, you said you would spend the night at Soojung`s place but something came up and you had to come back home. Jungkook froze in his place when he saw you coming out of your room the next morning. You acted as if nothing happened, balancing out the awkwardness by snatching his breakfast from him making him shake his head as he slid his coffee cup towards you as well.
“Yeah” he sighs. “She called me last night and told me I had a daughter, I didn’t believe her at first, I thought maybe she`s just joking but then she sent me the DNA reports y/n, she is…mine.” Jungkook flinches as he says that, it was scary, you knew it was. He was in college right now, he lived his life on the edge, you knew the thought of being tied down was eating him up, the thought of everyone knowing that he is now a father was eating him up. He was scared, you knew that.
“I couldn’t sleep the entire night and when I was about to come tell you about it, I got a call from the hospital that my daughter is there for a routine check up and that her mother said to call you to pick her up.” His voice shakes, you knew he was trying to keep it together, you move near him, pressing your hand into his shoulder, rubbing it lightly. “Y/n I didn’t know what to do, I…I didn’t know, I just brought her home…I`m sorry.” He was frantic now, his hands gesturing vaguely to nothing really as his eyes overflow with tears, bottom lip trembling as he spoke breaking your heart at the sight. You didn’t like this Jungkook, not at all.
“Jungkook, hey…it`s okay.” You make him face you, running your thumbs on his cheeks to wipe off the tears.
“It`s okay, I understand, you don’t need to be sorry okay.” You smooth his hair with a small smile, he sniffles, lips turned into a frown as he focuses on your words, trying not cry again.
“When they called me, I just…I just couldn’t leave her there…she had no one and she was sick.” He whispers, his voice was groggy and scratchy from all the crying, he looked so tired.
“I know, I know.” You hug him tight, he lets out a relieved sigh, squeezing you in his arms a little too tight, like you were keeping him from falling, maybe you were.
“I got scared, y/n I`m so scared, I don’t…I don’t know what to do.” He clings onto you as he sobs into the crook of your neck.
“I know, it`s too much kookie, but hey, look at me.” You make him look at you. “We will figure this out together okay, you fucked up, I`m gonna be honest with you but hey you always fuck up and we find a way through it all, right?” you let out a soft chuckle, wiping his tears with the sleeve of your sweater. His lips twitch a little as he nods.
“Go and get some sleep, you look dead.” You pinch his swollen red nose. “Did you eat anything?” you ask him softly and he shakes his head. “Not hungry.” He whispers.
“Okay.” You say. “Just take a nap for me okay? You cannot think straight without sleep.” You usher him off the couch and he gets up, a little hesitant, he lingers a little farther from the couch.
“Go.” You say sternly and watch him turn away from you and go inside his room. You fall back into the couch, you told Jungkook that you two will figure out all of this together but honestly you were scared shitless too, how can you tell him to handle being a single father at his age? How can you do anything for that matter? His parents? What about them? They will cause a scene for sure.
You get up and go back to your room, the mild and pleasant fragrance of baby powder was already in the air of your room, it calmed your senses for some reason as you tip toe towards the bed to see her sleeping peacefully in the same position you left her in, she`s too small to change sides I guess. You think with a shrug, slowly replacing one pillow on her side with yourself.
“You`re really pretty aren’t you?” you whisper, your face inches away from her. She looked like a doll, chubby little hands curled into fists, pink lips in a pout, her eyelashes were the prettiest, the cute little button nose was calling for a boop. “We must give you a pretty name too huh angel?” you can`t help but feel soft for the small bundle of pure happiness in your bed right now.
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You wake to the soft whimper of the little lady sharing your bed, as if she was being polite and considerate enough to not scream and wail and give you a heart attack.
“I`m up, I`m awake with you, here look.” You croak sitting up quickly, her round eyes stare back at you, her eyes were so pretty, they were identical to Jungkook`s, the realization made your heart grow with fondness, she looked a lot like him, even without a DNA test you would’ve believed she was Jungkook`s child. You pick her up in hopes of calming her down but she was still uncomfortable.
“Hungry?” you coo, she blinks up at you, still wriggling in your hold. “Let me check your diaper hm bambi?” you smile at her; your heart was warm even when you were awake at ass o clock in the morning. You walk out of the room with her snuggled close to your chest, her diaper was not dirty yet but she was being fussy again so you immediately start making her bottle once you enter the kitchen.
“I know, I know, being hungry is not fun right? I know.” You coo, lolling her as you shake her bottle. You surprise yourself with how well you`re multitasking right now but she`s so small so it`s easy for you to handle her with one arm.
“Almost done, 18, 19, 20…there you go.” You push the rubber nipple past her small mouth, she latches onto it like a starved little puppy, letting out a satisfied hum as the liquid pours down her throat, her small hand coming to mindlessly play your hand holding the bottle up.
“Good? Look at you, you were so hungry.” You giggle at the way she`s desperately trying to suck on the nipple, whimpering when she works her little lungs a little too much. You check the time on the kitchen clock. 5 Am. You can manage two more hours of sleep before your first class.
“Are you dozing off again ma`am?” you whisper with a smile watching her eyelashes flutter, thankful that she just wanted her bottle and didn’t chose violence overall. You walk back to your room, she doesn’t wake up, her tummy is full lulling her to deep slumber again. You decide to jump under the covers yourself wanting to hold onto the precious strands of sleep you can get before mids and now with a baby in the mix, you had a feeling you will not get any anyways. Sleep was ready to knock you out the moment your head touched the pillow.
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You wake up again to your bed getting dipped a little, you open your eyes slowly, a frown on your forehead by the sunlight coming in your room, Jungkook was hovering over the baby to pick her up, that was completely unnecessary but hey he didn’t do it once before he became a father well…yesterday.
“Hey.” You rub your eyes.
“Hey, sorry to wake you up, she was up so I thought I`ll take her out of your room so you could…” He looks a lot better than last night, his long hair were wavy after the shower, wet strands moving as he sat back on the bed, his hand on his daughter`s small foot, his daughter? That sounded so weird and strange but it was the ultimate truth of his life, your life. Your best friend/sometimes crush was now a parent. Life really takes unexpected turns, you never understand that until one of its turns hit you in the face out of a sudden.
“No, no it`s fine, I have to get up for class.” You get up gathering your hair behind your back.
“Oh you`re up too bambi.” Why were you in such a great mood was beyond you, maybe it was the beaming face of the happy baby with big doe eyes blinking back at you, she was starting to recognize you. she breathes a loud happy sigh, her toothless smile making your heart jump as she kicks around.
“Oh you like your nickname little bambi?” you kneel to smother your face in her little stomach making her giggle, her small hands grabbing onto your hair giving it quite a yank.
“Ow, ow” you laugh trying to pry her little iron grip on your strands. “You`re one strong little lady.” You rub your roots, clearly feeling the yank on your sensitive scalp. Jungkook was watching the scene before his eyes silently, you didn’t like how quiet he was, it was not him.
“Jungkook, are you okay?” you turn your attention to him, he jumps, you flinch.
“Y-yeah.” He stutters and your heart shatters with it. This boy was not Jungkook.
“Kook, I know this is hard, I really do trust me, and I`m telling you this is not ideal for you right now when you are still in college.” You hold his hand, it was cold as ice, you feel his breath hitch at your words as he looks at you with glassy eyes.
“But” you rub his knuckles with your warm thumb. “It happened okay? And we`ll go through this together, I`m with you in this, I will never leave you alone kook, just please I don’t want you to shut yourself up and walk on eggshells around me or anyone.” You move forward to hug his arm, resting your head on the round of his shoulder, you feel his breath shudder as if he was trying not to cry.
“I`m scared y/n. what will mom and dad say? What will the world say?” you hear him sniffle through whispers.
“I don’t know honestly Jungkook, I don’t, I wish I did and I wish to make it easier for you but I can`t, I`m sorry, you have to be strong and I promise I will never leave your side through it all.” You sit back to look at him, his nose was red again; you wipe his cheeks with your fingers.
“Stop crying, even your baby doesn’t cry this much idiot.” You press your lips together to stop yourself from giggling so near to his face.
“Thank you, I honestly thought you would kill me before I even have to worry about others.” He laughs, the sound going straight to your heart making it grow. “now that you haven’t, I don’t know what to do about the rest of the world.” He smiles, the small dimple pops in his cheek making him look exactly like the infant lying on your bed, pure and innocent.
“You`re such a drama queen, I would never kill you, you know that.” You flick his forehead and he winces rubbing the abused area. “I would just break your arm, but hey I didn’t.” you raise both of your hands in defense when he freezes comically at your words.
“Because have you seen this pretty little bambi? How can I ever be mad that you brought her home hmm?” you pick her up, your baby voice making Jungkook laugh loudly, this time the baby turns her head towards the musical sound, obviously hearing it for the first time and you can tell she likes it because she smiles and cackles at her father.
“Bambi?” Jungkook asks rather amused at your nickname for her.
“Yes bambi, look at her eyes kook, she looks just like bambi awwww!” you coo when she switches her big eyes from her father to you when you speak, the sound of your voice more familiar to her senses.
“Jeon Bambi? Does have a kick to it right?” he says ruffling his semi wet hair a little. You smack him on the back of his head.
“Ah, what?” he cries out, bambi giggles.
“I swear to God I`m gonna kill you if you name your daughter bambi Jungkook, she`s MY bambi, but she has to have a name, a real name you imbecile.” You frown.
“I know, I was just joking.” Jungkook scratches the back of his neck. He wasn’t joking and you knew it. You roll your eyes.
“Can`t believe this thing is your dad now angel.” You pout looking down at bambi. “But don’t worry you`ll have me with you, I`ll keep you safe.” You hop off the bed with her, your grin not faltering. Jungkook lets out a soundless chuckle, you looked so happy, it was not a new thing for him really, you were always a happy and positive person but today you were glowing, Jungkook would be lying if he said that he never saw you in any other light than just being his best friend because he has, you two were each other`s first kiss, it sounds cliché well it does to Jungkook but he thinks that you cannot forget your first kiss no matter how hard you try no matter how bad it was, you just can`t get that moment out of your head and it was the same for Jungkook, he had kissed another girl on the playground in that same week but he couldn’t even remember her name and the innocent little pecks that you two considered “Practice” were something he cannot forget, not even now when his track record of making out and sleeping around has just gone through the roof, whatever he does, whenever he feels lonely at the most crowded and nicest places, he thinks of you, he thinks of how you treat him, he thinks whether he deserves someone like you in his life or not?, is he selfish to always want to tie you down with him? You never really went out except sometimes with your girlfriends from class, was it because of him? Was he too much to handle? In his own ego and need to be independent, he often takes initiative to be responsible, to be enough for himself, handle himself like you handle him with so much ease and grace, he even wants to take care of you show you that you`re nothing special and he can do what you do just fine but that`s a dark part of him, a part of him that envied you, that wanted to be you, you were the ideal human being for him ever since childhood and what irritated that dark part of him the most was how easy you pulled all of this perfection off, just like right now, he watches you place a soft kiss on his daughter`s head like she was yours, she was not and you met her yesterday but you accepted her like your own, you didn’t sit down losing all hope, you didn’t scream and shout at him like he would do in this situation and then regret it later, you came up with solutions, you calmed him down, you made him feel safe even when he fucked up and bad. How do you do that? He hates that he can never find out, he couldn’t in all these years and he knew he couldn’t in the rest of his life. He was also feeling a little tug of jealousy watching you with this little intruder, will you give all your attention to her now? Does he have to “grow up” now? Will you always be with “your bambi” now? You two looked perfect together, pure, innocent and just beautiful, where does he stand in all of this? Self doubts cloud his mind just like they always did.
“Oh look, my first class got cancelled, so I can stay here with bambi while you go and take your classes for the day okay?” you look up from your phone, bambi still tucked close into your arms, here you were pulling him back in the little circle you made, a circle that is safe, a circle that is home, care and love and you never forgot to pull him in this little home. The space was wide enough for him and his daughter that even her mother abandoned. It was big and airy because your heart was big and airy and just beautiful.
“Jungkook?” your soft voice says and he jumps out of his thoughts. “You don’t have to worry one bit alright? You can trust me with her, I`ll keep her safe.” You tease with a smirk on your soft, slightly sleep swollen features. Of course you would, he wasn’t even thinking of not trusting you with his child. In just one day, you were more of a guardian to her than he was; he was practically starving her until you came.
“Yeah, okay.” He says slowly shifting his eyes from your face.
“Yeah, go study hard kook, don’t worry about a thing, I have it all planned and ready to go!” you lean forward to place a feathery kiss on the apple of his cheek, the skin flutters after your lips leave it. It wasn’t something unusual, cheek kisses, head kisses even forehead kisses were a normal occurrence throughout your life but something about this whole situation was not normal, he doesn’t know if its just him but he can`t help but feel different about…everything even…you. maybe he was going mad, but he thinks he can think a little weird right now, nothing that happened to him in the last 24 hours was normal.
“Okay” he ends up smiling fondly at you. his daughter was just like him, already looking at you like you were the guiding star in her little and limited world.
“Great! Go get ready.” You push his shoulder to usher him out of the room.
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Bambi has a name now, Haru, meaning “day” more like a day in the spring and that`s what she was, fresh and welcoming as spring, beautiful like a bright sunny day that keeps you warm and light even if you are feeling down, but she was still your bambi, she responded more to bambi and was very fond of you in general, seeking the motherly warmth and love in your embrace and little pats on her back. She was a calm baby by nature, really patient for babies her age, an angel, Jungkook was still getting used to all of this of course, he`s still awkward in holding her, feeding her, changing her diaper and all that but he was trying you could tell. He holds her at arm`s length like she is something lethal which never fails to make you laugh, just like right now, he was sitting on the couch in the living room holding Haru on his lap, she was away from the warmth and home of his torso, angel baby almost perched on his knees.
“Jungkook, I swear to God if you don’t hold her like a normal human being I will smack you across the face and step on your foot.” You glare at him, he was annoying.
“I am!” He almost whines, just like he always did when he was being defensive.
“No you`re not, you`re holding her like she is gonna bite you, look at her she`s so uncomfortable.” Your eyes soften when you look at the little girl who`s gotten a little chubbier and rounder making her look like a dumpling, the rolls in her bread thighs made it completely impossible for you to stop yourself from biting her. She has her small index finger in her mouth, round eyes fixed on the confused and awkward looking man holding her as she sucks on her finger to ease her own nerves. She was fond of him, you can tell by the way her eyes light up when he`s around or when he`s holding her even if it`s like this.
“I`m trying.” He whispers, looking down at the beautiful girl in a plaid black and red overall. He was, he really was but nothing prepares you for sudden parenthood, not even planned parenthood prepares you for this, the idea of a small human baby that relies on you for everything was terrifying to him, he couldn’t even take care of himself, he thanks the gods for your existence or else he would’ve gone mad.
“Just” you sit next to him, placing your hands on his warm ones holding Haru, “show a little love kook, that`s all she wants.” You say softly, you knew it was hard for him, you often felt bad for snapping at him when he forgets to change her diaper, feed her or play with her.
“A little closer, snuggle with this snuggle bunny.” You coo looking down at bambi who starts giggling watching you after like thirty minutes, finally some interaction instead of an awkward fool holding her like she was a hot potato. Jungkook is still frozen by your side.
“Come on kook, you love cuddles so much!” you jump on the couch, moving behind him to sit on the back rest of the couch, his body automatically making place for you to get comfortable. Your knees almost get tucked in under his arms, touching his ribs as if to hold him in place so that he doesn’t escape away from the little tutorial on cuddling you`re about to give him.
“And once you cuddle little Haru, you will never want any cuddles from anyone even me.” You lower your upper body on his shoulders, your hands bringing his along with the baby closer to his torso. Your chin rested on his shoulder.
“That`s not even possible.” He says in a hum, face turning towards yours on his shoulder, warm breath hitting your face, this was way too close, way too intimate but you stand your ground, keeping your heart tightly inside your chest when it wants to fly out, what if he can hear it trying to drum its way out of your chest against his back? Your eyes flicker to his doe ones, they were brown and soft and honeyed. This is bad; you gulp and see him lick his lips, his cheeks looking soft and pink from this close, the little dent he got in a fight with his brother looked like an art statement of an artist but also offensive on his overall smooth skin. You clear your throat.
“Yeah yeah, we`ll see.” You try to loosen the coil tightening in your stomach, lifting your chin up to create some distance. The scent of his shampoo filling your senses for a bit. His head follows your movements almost in confusion of the moment, his heart was beating in his ears, his throat was constricted for some reason. It was you, just you, you who scolded him; you who pinches the inside of his arm because it hurts the most. Just you but he wasn’t just him.
“For now, can you please just hold her with a little more care? She`s terrified.” You brush your hair back with a soft chuckle, a try to suppress your own nerves. You bring yourself back to hold his arms bringing Haru closer to him, he flinches when she touches his torso, her small head resting on his arm.
“Relax” you whisper near his ear and feel him soften up a bit; you rub the back of his hand holding the baby. “Like this, see? This is perfect.” You tell him with a smile, he looks down at his daughter, the corners of his mouth twitching.
“This feels…nice.” He turns towards you, eyes glassy.
“Yeah? Told you, you just need to show her love, it`ll feel nice.” You pinch his nose, he scrunches it, you lose it.
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Jungkook was about to leave the class when Mr. Lee stopped him.
“Mr. Jeon, can you please see me in my office after lunch?” Mr. Lee looks up from his laptop.
“Of course Sir.” Jungkook says, a little scared, what did he want? He didn’t even score bad in his subject, you were always on his tail to make him study while Haru was either with you or at the day care.
He didn’t feel like eating anything today but you came in like a gush of wind during the gap in your class and handed him your half eaten sub and a brownie you made last night. He ate it all just because you told him to.
His steps towards Mr. Lee`s office are slow, his nerves heightening with each passing moment. He could not afford trouble, not right now, his parents didn’t even know about Haru and if he gets in trouble in his studies, his Dad will flip out on him and it`ll not be pretty considering he`s never really happy with what Jungkook does. He knocks on the door, each knock hitting his heart.
“Come in.” comes the voice of Mr. Lee. Jungkook walks in slowly, adjusting the strap of his backpack on his shoulder.
“Mr. Jeon, please take a seat.” Mr. Lee points at the seat in front of his desk. Jungkook sits.
“I`m sorry, I should’ve told you that it was nothing related to your studies that I wanted to discuss, my apologies if I caused any distress.” Mr. Lee chuckles, probably noticing Jungkook out of his skin. This calms down Jungkook down visibly.
“Oh no Sir, it`s completely fine.” He straightens up, clearing his throat. Mr. Lee nods understandingly.
“Mr. Jeon, I want to discuss something with you that is not about your studies or anything academic in fact. Please know that I want nothing but the best for you as your teacher, please don’t misunderstand my intentions.” Mr. Lee rests his elbows on the table. Jungkook quirks an eyebrow, confused as to what he has to say other than academics.
“I…understand Mr. Lee.” Jungkook shifts in his seat.
“Jungkook, I know that you have a daughter.” Mr. Lee lets out a breath. Jungkook looks at him thinking simply, So? What about it?
“I do...” Jungkook lingers, not really sure of where this was going.
“You`re young Mr. Jeon, full of dreams, aspirations and a child might tie you down with them.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, Jungkook frowns, completely missing the point of his teacher telling him all of this, yes he has missed few of his classes in the beginning of the semester because he had to go with you to the doctor for Haru`s monthly checkup. Whatever it was, Jungkook thought it was completely unnecessary, inappropriate even for him to tell him something like that.
“Mr. Lee, I don’t really understand what you mean.” Jungkook leans forward a little as if closing the distance between the two of them will make him understand what he was saying.
“I will say it again, please don’t misunderstand, you have a lot of potential, if not in studies, in your hobby, music, I`ve heard nothing but good things about your skills and having a child at this age will only limit your horizons, you will have to give up a lot of things for the sake of your child.” Mr. Lee said with an exhale, Jungkook couldn’t understand why that man was going in circles. He just gives him a questioning look, encouraging Mr. Lee to go on.
“Mr. Jeon…” Mr. Lee reaches out in the file in front of him, takes out a brochure, a purple and yellow shiny paper and slides it towards Jungkook.
“This is…an adoption brochure, I really hope you give this a chance and if this is not what you want to do, my brother…” he straightens up, his eyes waver when he looks at Jungkook, “My brother and his wife are also looking to adopt a child, they are good people Mr. Jeon, who really want to be parents, if you…”
“Mr. Lee, I don’t want to discuss this any further, this is my personal matter and I`m not looking for giving up my daughter for adoption, it never crossed my mind and it never will.” Jungkook gets up with a quick movement, the chair behind him lifting off of the ground, how can someone think he will give away his child?
“Jungkook, please don’t react like this, this is a normal thing that a lot of young parents do when they can`t handle a child on their own, a young child needs a stable home, two parents and a lot of financial support that a young and jobless father like yourself cannot afford to provide.” Mr. Lee walks over to Jungkook.
Jungkook feels his throat dry up, was he not good enough of a father for his own daughter? Was he not enough for anyone in his life? What is he? Is he nothing but a disappointment to everyone around him?
“Please think about it, I`m not forcing you or anything, it`s your choice at the end of the day Mr. Jeon.” Mr. Lee picks up the brochure and shoves it in the side pocket of Jungkook`s bag. Jungkook was so lost in his thoughts to stop him, was Mr. Lee right? Should he think about this? He never felt this way, he never really had to sacrifice anything because…you were there for both him and Haru, you never really made him feel that his life is over after Haru, he hasn’t really given up on anything because you are here with him on each step of this unexpected journey.
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Jungkook comes back home, his shoulders slumped, the conversation he had with Mr. Lee was draining, he didn’t like one bit of it, how dare someone from the outside tell him what to do with his child? His life? But he was sure Mr. Lee didn’t know about you. The true angel in his life, the one who has kept him in one piece. A small smile makes its way to his tired face when he hears you humming a Disney song in your room, Haru sitting on the pile of your clothes, fascinated by the colors as you fold them neatly, a video plays in the background on your phone.
“Oh, you`re home.” Your kind voice brings his attention to you; his eyes focus on your beaming face.
“Yeah, the last class got cancelled, good thing I will have some time before my gig tonight.” He rubs the back of his neck, walking forward to pick up Haru, he was so much better at this now, so much more comfortable.
“Yeah, that`s great, me and bambi also just came home like fifteen minutes ago.” You smile at the father-daughter duo.
“How was your day?” Jungkook asks, Mr. Lee made him realize one thing and that is that he never really takes care of you like you do. His heart weakens at this thought. You didn’t have to do anything you do for the two of them but you do without complaining or wanting anything in return.
“Just great, everything I submitted as my thesis entry?” you roll your eyes, Jungkook frown with a nod. “60% of it got rejected, gotta start over.” You whine, shoving some clothes in a bag.
“Oh no, that`s terrible.” Jungkook pouts; he knows how hard you worked on your research.
“I know!” you pout back, Jungkook`s heart lurches in his chest, you were the cutest, the baby blue sweater you were wearing made you looked so soft.
“But our Haru…” you clap. Our Haru? Jungkook blinks, was he reading too much between the lines. “…made lots of new friends at the new day care, I was worried all day that she might be crying her eyes out but no, she was fine, so happy, so happy that she didn’t want to leave.” You giggle, walking over to Jungkook who was holding Haru, who was busy playing with her father`s blue strands, the color entertaining to her.
“Right little nuggy.” You coo trying to bite her bare chubby arms, she squeals, it was your love language and the toddler lets you have your way with her with her happy squeals and sometimes a fist full of your hair to protest against your playful nips on her soft, doughy skin.
“That`s honestly a relief, grumpy Haru is not fun Haru.” Jungkook kisses her round cheeks making you coo at the sight, these two were adorable.
“Come on, let`s get changed and then eat.” You lean in to take Haru from his grasp but she squeals happily and hides her face in Jungkook`s neck, hiding away from you, her little hand waving “bye-bye” to you, she learned that from you, and now whenever you leave her at the daycare, she goes “bye-bye” with her little hand.
“I see how it is hm, you see daddy and all of a sudden bye bye y/n?” you try to tickle her, she squirms with a loud cry of joy, Jungkook giggles too.
“It`s okay bambi, you spend time with dada okay?” you hold Jungkook`s shoulders to bring him down a bit so you can press a smooch on the back of Haru`s head. “We all like him here, he`s nice.” You tease, turning to Jungkook.
“Just like? I`m the material for looooveee.” He sing songs and you laugh.
“Of course you are.” You shake your head. Of course he was.
You are on your way to the kitchen to heat the leftover pizza from last night for Jungkook and yourself, Haru is gonna have some mashed bananas. You see Jungkook`s bag on the ground, rolling your eyes you go to pick it up.
“This guy, who would believe he`s a father…” you shake your head and pick it up from the ground, a shiny, eye catching purple paper falls to the ground. You pick it up, your straighten the crumpled paper to see what it was, whether it was something important or just trash as Jungkook usually carries in his bag. Your heart jumps to your throat, hands feeling cold against the glossy paper in your hands. Adoption brochure in Jungkook`s bag? Is he thinking about putting Haru up for adoption? He can`t right? He didn’t even talk about it. Do you even have a say in this? She is his daughter after all.
“Y/n, Haru just went down, I`m sorry I know you said she had to eat something but I think she was tired…” you hear Jungkook behind you.
“What is this?” you turn towards him slowly, the hot tear that lands on your cheek lets you know that you had been crying. Jungkook looks at you a little confused and then his eyes land on the paper, the dreaded purple brochure, his throat constricts when he sees your tear filled eyes.
“It`s not what it looks like, I…” Jungkook strides towards you, his hand outstretched as if you were threatening to jump off a cliff, but he knew what it looked like, he knew what it meant for you to give Haru a somewhat normal family, a father, he knew how much even the sight of this paper tore you apart.
“Jungkook, please no, please, not her, she doesn’t deserve this, she deserves you, please…” you were crying now, the hand that was holding the paper shaking like a leaf in autumn.
“y/n…listen.” Jungkook chokes on the air he breathes, he knows he has triggered you, why didn’t he just throw the damn paper when he was coming home?
“Please…no…please, my bambi, she`s your daughter, please don’t leave her, I beg you…kook please.” Your vision is blinded by the tears that keep on forming in your eyes, your legs give up and you fall to your knees.
“Y/n!” Jungkook leaps in front of you on the ground. You are shaking at this point, was bambi not good enough for Jungkook like you weren’t enough for you father?
“I`ll take her huh? How about that? G-give her to me hm? Just d-don’t let h-her go like this Jungkook NO!” you shake his shoulders as if trying to bring him out of a trance.
“Okay, okay, ssh calm down precious.” He nods trying to calm you down. “Breathe please.” He can`t bear to look at your tear stained face.
“Jungkook why? Why all of a sudden? What happened? She`s such a calm soul, she never bothers us, she doesn’t…bother me, why?” Your eyes are frantic as you cry.
“It`s nothing, I swear, I will never give her away, y/n shh… calm down shh.” Jungkook`s bottom lip trembles as he holds you close, his warm hand covering your ice cold one, trying to pry away the brochure you caged tightly in your hand.
“Don’t give her away…” you hiccup. “She loves you, she likes her room please.” You hold his shoulders to support your falling frame, your limbs were weak, your breathing was irregular.
“Never! Listen to me! y/n!” he shakes your shoulders making you look up at him.
“I will never give her away, how can I? she`s not even mine to decide things for her, she`s yours, your bambi, remember silly girl?” he smiles a little at you.
“I`m just a biological parent y/n, you! you are the one who is always there for her, no one can take her away from you…from us.” He brushes your hair away, patting your head a little to smooth them on your head.
“Then this? What about this?” you sniffle, looking around for the brochure.
“This is bullshit, it`s nothing, trust me…do you trust me?” he wipes your tears with his sleeve. You nod.
“Good, that`s all I need.” He whispers, pulling you in for a hug, you pull him closer instantly, wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face in his neck, releasing a relieved sigh into him.
“I`m sorry, I didn’t even listen to you.” you rub his shoulders.
“Hah, wouldn’t be the first time right?” he laughs earning pinch on his nape.
“Ow!” he yelps, shaking a little into the hug, shaking you with him.
“Jungkook?” you say softly, rubbing circles on his shoulder.
“Hm?” he hums, you feel the vibrations in your entire being.
“Just never give up on her please.” You sigh.
“I won`t, I promise.” He says, squeezing you a little tighter.
This kind of panic attacks were a common occurring in your childhood and Jungkook was there through all of them, the fear of someone leaving you, someone close to you just saying they want nothing to do with you one day, this fear, this sense of loss always rode your life, the only person who understood you through all of this, the one who knew what you were feeling, the one you could tell what you felt was Jungkook, it was him from day one, just like today, his steady heartbeat, sunshine smile and warm hands held you together. You know he thinks you`re something special and he tries to be like you but he doesn’t how much you would want to be like him, what you would give to be like him, free, happy, brave…Jeon Jungkook was perfect and you were not but you hope he doesn’t realize that, you hope he keeps on thinking you are perfect just for the sake of keeping him with you because who wants something broken in their life?
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It was a cozy Saturday night, nothing special was planned, Jungkook was also home, you two bought a new crib for Haru last week and it still wasn’t put together, still in a box in the corner of your living room, the little girl was getting big now, almost a year old at this point, she needed something spacious now.
“Bambi is down, snoring away in dreamland.” You plop on the couch next to Jungkook who is typing away on his laptop, he`s looking for a job these days, a stable job, this is his last semester and his grades are good enough to land him a good corporate internship.
“Hm, good.” You can tell he`s distracted and you don’t want to bother him further so you take your phone out and scroll through things like you usually did when there was nothing to do. After some time, you hear a sigh from your right.
“You good?” you ask softly. He nods, letting his body fall in your shoulder. “Just bored.” He sighs, you adjust your arm to snake it across his shoulders, he shifts closer, pulling you in with his arm around your stomach. Your hand automatically move to play with the strands of his hair.
“Your hair got longer.” You say as you twirl the curls on your fingers.
“Hm, didn’t have time to cut them plus Jimin said I should keep them, they give me the rockstar vibes you know.” He mumbles right above your chest and you chuckle, he feels the vibration against his ear.
“Single rockstar dad ready to take over hearts, drop panties and create chaos!” you announce dramatically. Jungkook giggles against your shoulder. “That`s your merch tagline, I`ll be happy to accept my commission.” You roll his earlobe between your thumb and index finger, he hums in content and you feel a smile pressed into you.
“Okay, you`ll get your commission, don’t worry.” He says diving further into your neck. He was clingier than usual today. You shake your head at the way his knee was pressing into your thigh or the way he was pressing you closer to him by his arm around you, the arm you have around his shoulders freezes but you try not to make it awkward and pat the side of his head.
“Are you going to sleep?” you rest your head on his, fingertips scratching his scalp.
“I will if you keep doing that” his words are slurred already as he sits up shaking his head.
“Come on, let`s put together that crib we bought.” He claps.
“Jungkook, I can do that myself, don’t worry, sleep if you want.” You tame his crazy hair.
“Oh I know you can do anything by yourself wonder woman, but please allow me to help you for once.” He smirks at you and you huff, of course he knows you cannot do it by yourself, if he wasn’t that apt in the brain department, you definitely needed his strength to move the huge box into Haru`s room, thankfully she was taking a nap in your room right now or else you would have to postpone this to tomorrow.
“Okay, let`s go, be ready for a lot of nagging though.” You point a finger at him and he raises his hands in surrender.
After he helped you with taking the huge box to Haru`s room, Jungkook went to the kitchen to pop open a bottle of wine, jogging back to the room. He clinks the two cups making your head turn towards the door.
“Really? Us two? Drinking wine? While trying to do something productive?” you put your hands on your waist.
“Let`s live on the edge y/n.” Jungkook wiggles his eyebrows and you shake your head. “Alright”
After three more cups of wine and hundred crib tutorial videos, you two still couldn’t figure it out, it wasn’t that hard you knew that but the little buzz from the wine was making you careless, a little giddy too. Your face felt hot.
“You really thought this was a good idea, didn’t you?” you chuckle lazily, resting your back against the box, your eyes focused on how the wine swirls inside your cup.
“I mean yeah…we both really don’t have time to go out and get shitfaced so I thought we should get lit tonight.” Jungkook sits next to you, the fluffy purple rug was soft and warm under your feet.
“You better hope bambi doesn’t wake up idiot, I already have a headache.” You rub your temples with the tip of your fingers.
“I`m so ashamed of myself, I used to feel nothing even I drink plain gasoline and now look at me, getting lit on cheap wine? Couldn’t be more dad than this.” He frowns, downing the rest of the wine. You laugh. “A dilf, if you will.”
“Dilf, y/n? are you trying to tell me something? Because you know you just have to ask.” He shoves your shoulder with his, you stumble a little.
“Yup yup, you`re a dad now, a single, sex deprived sleazy dad who hits on the babysitter.” You push him back to his place.
“Hey! I`m not.” He pouts. “You called me a dilf first.” He pinches your side making you yelp.
“That`s what a young, hot dad is known as these days grandpa.” You narrow your eyes at him.
“See? You`re calling me young and hot, what am I suppose to do?” he points at you accusingly.
“Keep it together lover boy, I think I might just let you go out tomorrow, let you live a little because goddamn you are losing your marbles.” You laugh, looking into his wide eyes.
“Meanieeeee.” He whines.
“No seriously kookie, you should not just abandon your previous life, Haru has me, don’t worry, you can really go out and have your fun, it`ll be good for you, you`ve been working so hard lately.” You take his cup from his hand placing it next to yours.
“So do you.” he mumbles.
“Uh yeah but my life has been like this since…forever, the most I miss out on is some shopping sprees with Dahyun and Mina and I don’t mind that at all. I`m never bored thanks to my little bambi.” You grin, head resting back on the box. You were really happy in life right now. Jungkook hums in response, he was familiar with you and what you liked and it was as you said... being a homebody.
“Oh” you jump when you remember something. “You had a Friday night gig yesterday right? How did it go? I`m so sorry I didn’t ask earlier.” You slap your forehead.
“It was good, they paid well too.” Jungkook plays with a stray string on the fluffy carpet.
“Wonderful.” You hum.
“Yeah, thank God I caught Jimin and the waitress making out under the bar before the manager did or else we`d be banned from every bar on that lane.” Jungkook chuckles deeply.
“Ah typical Jimin, wonder what that feels like.” You chuckle back half heartedly.
“You`ve never been kissed?” you feel him turn his head towards you, his voice just above a whisper.
“I was envious of how brave he is dummy.” You turn your face towards him. “and you were my first kiss.” Your heart breaks a little at the thought of him not remembering this information. Was it not that important for him? Was it that easy to forget that it was around Halloween and you two were in his mother`s closet to look for a long coat for you when it happened, the determination to learn how to kiss fueled that moment between you two as you two sat down on your knees by the cupboard, hands fidgeting in your laps, face flushed at the thought of doing something soooo scandalous. You cannot to this day forget how his lips looked in a small pout when he was going in for the kiss, eyes squeezed shut as his trembling cold hands held yours tightly almost crushing your fingers.
“In mom`s closet, yeah I remember.” He smiles as if reading your mind. You blink at him, he remembers? Of course he does, Jungkook remembers how you smelled that day, how your hair was all chalked and dried up because of the colored chalks you let him use on you, various colors on your head, to him they made you look like a fairy, a rainbow fairy. He remembers how soft your hands were, both your knees touching his, the small inhale of breath when your lips connected with his, he remembers it all. The kiss itself was probably the worst kiss in the history of kisses but the person he shared it with was special, so so special he can`t even put it into words.
“Yeah, I specifically remember how you almost jumped into my lap when you heard coco bang her paw against the door.” You shake your head with a laugh, remembering how Jungkook jumped out of his skin, he thought his mother caught you two red handed.
“I did not!” he huffs a loud breath.
“Hm sure sure, whatever you say.” You try not to laugh.
“And I remember how you ran away from Jaebeom after he tried to kiss you. what was it again? Ohhh…” he cackles, turning his body towards you completely.
“Don’t you dare…” you warn him.
“Jungkook Jungkook!!” he imitates your voice. “Jaebeom tried to put his tongue in my mouth, I ran away!” he goes on in a shrill girly voice that is supposed to be yours.
“I didn’t know asshole and don’t try and act all cool now, do you remember what you said in return?” you slap his chest.
“Y/n oh no, let`s go home, I have a mouth wash that kills 99.99% germs.” You deepen your voice and widen your shoulders dramatically.
“Is this supposed to be me?” he frowns but is clearly amused.
“Yes who else, you troll.” You deflate.
“God, we both were such idiots.” He rubs his eyes with his fingers, letting out a sigh.
“You still are.” You mumble.
“My kissing game is ace now honey.” Jungkook grins and you don’t have to look at him to know he`s sporting that cocky smirk.
“Good to know, keep it up, I`m sending you out tomorrow remember.” You brush your hair back.
“What about you?” he asks all of a sudden. Your eyes open as you frown at him in confusion.
“what about me?” you parrot back.
“Do you still not like tongues in your mouth?” he looks straight, not even sparing you a glance.
“Umm…no…tongues are good…tongues are fine…now” You ramble, your head spinning at the question alone.
“good, nice nice.” He nods equally nervous of the whole conversation. Why the fuck did he ask that? You nod back, straightening up a bit.
“So do you like…talk to…boys?” he asks a little hesitant, round eyes taking one look at your flushed face and then going back to busy himself in playing with the rug. What was he implying? You found it too cute how he wanted to ask if you were having sex or not.
“Um not…really.” You thank god your hair covered the side of your face from him.
“I see.” He hums. “but do you um like…uhh…” he clears his throat. “…do it yourself.” You whisper and you inhale air too quickly than you should have making you cough. Wow this escalated quickly.
“Jungkook!” you gasp.
“What? I`m just asking as your best friend, I care about you plus I know a very good toy site, you can order…” Jungkook shrugs his shoulders.
“Jungkook” you laugh lazily. What was he even saying? “Thank you for your concern, I really appreciate it.” You can`t believe what just happened. He doesn’t speak after this and so do you.
“So you use hands or toys, showerhead?” he asks and you whine.
“Stop thinking about it!” you groan.
“I`m just curious.” He whispers, why is your best friend curious about what you get up to? What is this? Was there something in the wine?
“Showerhead.” You find yourself whispering. “Fingers are too small.” You don’t know how you gather the courage to look at him, but the way he looks at you makes you want to hide inside the box behind you. his eyes are hooded and dark, coral lips parted as he gulps after your words.
“Yeah?” he hums taking your hand in his; you feel a literal spark igniting in your spine. “They are pretty small, I bet they`ll feel great on me.” He says more to himself than to you as he examines your significantly smaller hand in his huge one, your fingers twitch in his grasp. Your heart threatens to overheat by beating twenty beats at a time, your throat feels dry.
“You want me to have fun doll?” Jungkook makes you face him, brushing your hair away from your face. You nod.
“I want the same for you.” he husks near your face. “Why don’t we help each other out a little huh?” his thumb caresses your jaw.
“Are you drunk?” his thumb runs over your bottom lip. You shake your head a little. How can you be drunk after all of this? Jungkook pushed his digit inside your mouth; the hot feeling of your mouth makes him suck in a sharp breath. You looked so good right now, so innocent, clueless as you look at him with your pretty eyes. He retrieves his thumb from your mouth with a pop. You were disappointed to say the least. You are struck with lightening when you feel his fingers play with the waist band of your sweatpants, you look down and then up at him.
“This okay?” he husks, his forehead is pressed against your temple, he smells so good, the breath that fans over your face smells like wine. What do you say to this? Yes you want this; yes you want him, but what about the effects of this whole thing on your years long friendship? You can`t just brush it off like nothing happened in the morning. Jungkook said it was fun, just fun but that was not what it was for you and you knew it would hurt. He stretches the band a little and lets it go to slap back on your stomach lightly, bringing you back to him as you blurt a yes.
In a flash, he`s yanking down the sweatpants down your legs, leaving you in nothing but a flimsy black underwear and a tee shirt. His hands feel so soft, so comforting and warm on your shaking legs as he rubs them up and down.
“Good girl.” He spreads your legs; something stirs in your stomach at the term of endearment. You let him do what he wants to you and soon he`s pushing you back into the rug with a hand on your stomach, he settles himself between your legs, your legs on either side of him as he lowers himself towards you.
“Is it too late to make up for that shitty kiss?” he says so close to your lips that you can practically taste his breath making your breath hitch in the back of your throat, this time was definitely different than the last time you had him this close to you, he was far more confident, determined and zeroed in on you that it made you shudder. His hand brushes against your cheek.
“Baby, use your words please, I need to hear you.” his thumb is feathery on the apple of your cheek, his eyes focused on you, big and sparkly.
“No” you muster up the courage to whisper, “It`s not too late.” You hold his cheeks with both your hands, he wastes no time in connecting his lips with yours, a mutual sigh is shared between you two at the contact. Your eyelashes flutter at the overwhelming feeling of his soft lips moving against yours, you don’t know about you but he was definitely not lying about his kissing game being strong now, one of his hand is besides your head, the other is holding your leg up from the underside of your knee bending it to have more access to you and honestly that`s the only way you feel you are staying on the ground because otherwise the way he is licking into your mouth is enough to set your feet off the ground into the air, his tongue is hot in your mouth as it tangles with yours. You moan into his mouth when bites down on your tongue, the move was sensual, dirty and it almost drove you crazy, he moans back, a whiny, desperate sound as if to reciprocate yours, the hand close to your head tangles in your hair fisting them as if you will disappear under him. You were running out of breath and he was getting wilder with each second. You break the kiss, a coward move, who needs air? You wished you hadn’t seen that sight, his eyes almost closed, lips cherried and a thin string of saliva connecting your lips with his glossy ones was enough to turn you into a madwoman, this was too much, this kiss was a thousand times better than your first one but it was ten thousand times more deadly. He takes one look at your (most probably crazy) state, the way your hair is a mess creating non perfect halo around you, the way your lips are swollen and blood red right now, he hasn’t seen this before, the way your chest heaves up and down as you breathe, the way your eyes are set on fire, your soft hand on his cheek, an audible sigh is released into the air when your fingers caress the hair on his nape. He jumps up, leaving you on the ground, suddenly you feel cold, naked and insecure under his gaze. Did you do something wrong? Did he realize you two shouldn’t be doing this? Yes, yes he did, of course he did, you should’ve just said no when you had the chance to save yourself this embarrassment. You get up, supporting your weight on your hands as you look at him with wide eyes. Jungkook moves to settle himself behind you, his back against the box, yours against him when he pulls you against him with a swift movement, the jolt knocking the air out of you, the air you were exhaling felt solid and the one you were inhaling was nonexistent at this point. His slender fingers lift up your shirt revealing the lace of your black panties to his eyes.
“These have to go.” His fingers skim over your mound making you sigh, your head thrown back against his shoulder when he presses his palm over it harder, your breathing stutters.
“Please…Jungkook…” your eyes threaten to roll back into your head when he starts rubbing his middle finger over your clit, his fingers hook into your panties, you lift up your ass from the carpet to help him take it off.
“Sweetheart, can you help me take them off?” he mumbles against the skin of your cheek, you nod eagerly, hunching forward to yank the flimsy material off your legs,  huge hand lands on your breast bringing you back into him, kneading the flesh over the soft shirt, your head falls forward, hair falling like a waterfall, legs twitching, one hand is rubbing torturously slow circles on your pussy, one hand pushing you back into him by your breast.
“You`re dripping already beautiful, I can understand, it`s been too long, it`s okay I won`t make your life a living hell over this, I promise.” He lets out a deep husky laugh against your ear before biting down on it hard.
“S-shut up.” You sigh; your hands are clutching his thighs.
“Uh-huh precious baby, it`s time for you to shut up and enjoy for once.” He lifts up your shirt to reveal the smooth expanse of your stomach, holding the hem to your mouth tapping your lips softly once which makes you clutch the cloth between your teeth.
“Can you relax for me and enjoy your time hmm?” his fingers yank the loose shirt down your shoulder pressing open mouth kisses on the skin, sucking on your shoulder. You nod. “Yes.”
“Good girl, I always knew you could listen.” Large hands hook under your knees to hook your legs over his in a way that when he spreads his legs your legs open wider. Your back slides a little lower against his chest, your legs adjust just above his knees giving him and the cold air the perfect access to your pussy. You shudder when he runs his fingers over your folds, spreading them with two fingers, dipping the middle one into your seeping hole.
“Huhh-ahhh” you whine at the weird stretch, your eyes almost closed as you look up at him, head pressed into his chest.
“I know, I know baby, it`ll be real good soon.” He says through clenched teeth, already lost in the way how you struggle with just one finger.
“Kook…hmm” you bottom lip trembles, teeth clenching harder on the hem of your shirt in your mouth when he starts pumping his finger inside you bringing it back to slick your clit, rubbing circles around it as if he wants to avoid it just right now.
“Relax, huh baby.” Your sodden lips flutter against his finger when you feel his free hand on your naval, rubbing soothing circles into your skin easing you further into him stopping your squirming.
“Gonna add the second one now okay?” he bends his legs, bending your body in half when your legs go up with his.
“Ohhh, unnghhh!” you rasp when he puts his ring finger inside your hole with his middle one.
“How does it feel princess?” Jungkook presses the sweetest little kisses on the side of your neck to distract you from the even weirder stretch now.
“G-good so…ahh…good.” Your moans are muffled against the cloth in your mouth when he speeds up, the heel of his palm adding the perfect friction on your clit.
“Good? It shouldn’t just be good pretty baby, it should be great, the greatest only for you.” Jungkook almost whines when you back into his dick, he quickly adjusts your legs on his thighs.
“J-jungkook.” You`re intoxicated, the wine was nothing compared to this. Your head falls forward again when his fingers get knuckles deep into you. A hand snakes around your neck, his thumb pressing deliciously into your pulse as he makes you look up, the shirt falls from your mouth and rests just below your chest.
“Eyes on your pretty little pussy while I fuck it, got it?” he kisses your side burn, your fingers claw the fabric of his sweatpants, legs threatening to close but the way they are hooked on his don’t let you have much of a choice other than to keep them wide open like they already are.
“Look how good it looks with my fingers stuffed in it.” He licks your cheek and you whine looking down at your pussy dripping down his knuckles, the wet squelch making you clench around his fingers more.
“See? How good fingers can feel when they are long?” he moans against your nape, his eyes on your center and then on your stomach and how the muscles in it are tense.
“Can you feel how deep I am gorgeous?” he hooks his fingers inside you making you scream, the hand around your neck stops you from toppling forward.
“unnhhhh” you cry out lazily “yes so deep.” You slur, the pleasure was so overwhelming that you want to rip your hair out, instead you settle on squeezing your boob, the other hand clawing on Jungkook`s thigh as he brings you closer and closer to your destination.
“A pussy like this deserves so much more than this…oh fuck!” Jungkook groans when you reach out your hand behind you to tangle your fingers in his hair, yanking at the blue locks.
“It deserves to be fucked daily, licked 24/7, so wet, so tight.” He moans along with you, his hair falling into his eyes, lip caught between his teeth as he finger fucks you like his life depends on it, thumb rubbing frantically on your clit, the hand on your neck loosens its grip to turn your head by your jaw, hungry mouth finds you lips in an urgent kiss making you squeal in the kiss when he traces his tongue on your lips, biting down on the bottom lip he connects your forehead with his, fingers not stopping scissoring into you.
“I…I`m…” you breathe into his mouth.
“Go on.” He pecks your lips sweetly, big eyes focused on how your face contorts with pleasure, how you bite your lip and how your eyes flutter as you come with a scream of his name, falling limp against him, your legs dangle dead from his legs as you try to calm your heart, breathing his calming scent in as he brushes your hair away from your face with his feathery touch.
“Want to…suck your dick.” You babble, still drunk on your orgasm.
“It was all about you pretty, you don’t need to do a thing.” He kisses the crown of your head melting you further into him. You stay against his chest when he unhooks your legs from his, rubbing them soothingly and straightens your shirt. Just on cue, you hear Haru`s soft cries, you stir against him.
“Relax, I`ll take care of her.” Jungkook whispers as he makes you sit by yourself, quickly jumping to his feet.
“Let`s take care of the big baby first, come on.” He easily lifts you off the ground, scooping you in his arms. Your hands immediately hold him for support.
“It`s okay though, I would`ve came around when alive again.” You mumble into his neck and he chuckles.
“Nope and we`re going to your room anyways, so hold on tight or else I might drop your ass.” He gives you a little fright when he wiggles you to the ground a little, you shriek circling your arms around his neck quickly.
“Don’t you dare asshole, now hurry up bambi`s crying.” You cling to him tightly.
“Yes ma`am.” He laughs.
You were glad that the next morning you didn’t have work or a thesis meeting with your instructor, you just wanted to stay home even if you didn’t sleep in, Jungkook on the other hand had to take a class and then he had an interview.
“Good morning.” Jungkook`s lips stretch into a smile when he watches you stand all quiet by the kitchen door.
“Morning” you mumble, your face was probably getting red with each second, last night, hm well, last night was unlike any other night with Jungkook, you were…shy about it, scared of it, what if he regrets it, what if things change, the other part of you was scolding you for thinking all that it was making you remember how into it was Jungkook, his little noises, the pleasure he felt when he pleasured you was creating whirlpools in your stomach, your legs hooked on his, his hand all over your body, choking you at one point….
“Y/n?” the close proximity of Jungkook`s voice shakes you physically out of your daydream.
“Yes.” You blurt out. He sighs towering over you.
“I know how pessimist this little brain is.” He pokes your forehead gently making you roll your eyes, he knew you. “So whatever negative thought you are cooking up in there, needs to be kicked out.” He ruffles your hair. You nod slowly.
“I made you breakfast, eat and relax, I`ll check on bambi.” He pinches your cheek with the sweetest smile on his gorgeous face, the one that makes his nose scrunch and eyes squint.
“Okay” your heart flutters at the gesture.
Jungkook was okay, everything was okay it always was, you`re just the biggest idiot to ever grace this planet, why did you make it awkward? It was alright, he just told you, you could’ve known this yourself. You mentally scold yourself as you shove the fruit Jungkook cut for you in your mouth, the pancakes looked delicious and….a perfect round this time. You giggle at how many distorted ones he would’ve eaten to give you these perfect round ones.
“Wanna see y/n hm? I know you do.” You hear Jungkook`s voice coming closer to the kitchen as he strolls in with Haru in his arms. Haru immediately screeches when she spots you on the stool.
“Good Morning bambi!” you sing song in a baby voice that you use with her most of the time. She jumps in her father`s arms at that, reaching out for you.
“Hey, I just changed your diaper, don’t be too excited to see her at least.” Jungkook pouts, nudging his nose against Haru`s cheek. You laugh. Haru on the other hand was not very appreciative of the delay in meeting you so she whines loudly, grabbing a handful of Jungkook`s hair, giving it a yank.
“Ah, owowowow!!” Jungkook yelps in pain as Haru yanks his hair, squealing and giggling at his reactions. You jump off the table to help him, unable to contain your laugh.
“Bambi, leave dada`s hair please baby.” You say in between your fits of laughter.
“Booboo” Haru`s eyes shine when she looks at you. booboo is something she calls you, it was silly you liked it.
“Please bambi, yes come to booboo.” You reach out for her and she immediately releases Jungkook`s hair, jumping over to you.
“That was a tight grip little lady.” Jungkook winces massaging his scalp, Haru obviously doesn’t care nor understands and clings to your neck, resting her head on your shoulder after her active morning.
“Good job” you whisper loud enough for Jungkook to hear, kissing Haru`s shoulder. Jungkook huffs, a cute frown on his lips and forehead.
“I have to go but don’t think I`ll forget this, ever!” Jungkook shoves your shoulder a little, the pout still intact on his lips. You stick your tongue out at him.
“Bye bambi, have a good day.” He kisses the back of her head, she acknowledges him with a happy babble. You were too busy looking at them that you didn’t saw the sweet kiss coming until it was placed on your lips making your breath hitch, eyes wide open when he pulls back.
“Never let your guard down.” He winks with a lopsided grin, you are too gone to answer,your lips were tingling with the feeling of his lips. “You have the greatest day and think about me okay?” His thumb brushes your chin, you nod in a trance making him laugh.
If you said that the days after the two of you fooled around were the best days of your life, it wouldn’t be wrong at all. Jungkook was different, he was looking at you different,now like a predator looks at its prey and now every time Haru takes a nap you know what your engagements would be, it`s either quickies before he has to go to work or in between your breaks from your research, questioning this arrangement was the last thing on your mind when you bury your heels in Jungkook`s spine as he licks your pussy, plump cherry lips wrapped around your clit sucking with a passion, the only thing you can think during that is how you can give him more access to your pussy or sync your grinds against his face with the way his tongue glides up and down between your slit, the way he teases your clit by circling his hot muscle around it without touching has you crying into your palm to which you receive breathy chuckle against your needy pussy even the puff of his breath enough to push you over the edge, he yanks your hand that is pressed tightly on your mouth and intertwines his fingers placing the laced hands on your stomach, you lift your head to look at him, big mistake! You realize the moment you see him spit a glob of his spit on your clit, you wince with a pathetic whimper and watch him dive back in your pussy, his piercing eyes on you, you thought you were strong enough to maintain that eye contact but you were wrong, your head falls back into the couch with a shameless moan.
“Come on pretty girl, this time you`re gonna make yourself come by just getting your clit sucked, I will only stuff you with my cock today, no fingers.” He says into your sodden lips before enveloping your engorged clit into his hot mouth again. You grind yourself against his mouth.
“Yes, yes just like that, make yourself come all over my mouth doll.” His words are slurred against your pussy and before you know it you are unraveling against his mouth with an animalistic moan, tears streaming down your face making you sniffle. Jungkook doesn’t wastes his time in manhandling you until you are sitting on his lap, back facing him, a whimper leaves your mouth when he slaps your ass and then soothing the disturbed skin with the flat of his palm. Your body is lifeless from the shocks of your first orgasm, pussy still tingling from his loving assault on it.
“Lift your arms up baby.” He kisses your cheek from behind and you lazily oblige, he yanks the shirt over your head, the bra follows soon after.
“You too, wanna feel you.” you cry when he rolls your nipples between his fingers.
“Okay.” He presses kisses along your shoulder before peeling his hoodie off of him, the warm, soft skin felt heavenly against your back. Jungkook holds you with one hand and loosens his sweatpants with the other enough to spring his cock free.
“Can`t wait to be inside you.” he throws his head, pumping himself to get ready for you, you shudder every time the tip touches your ass cheek.
“But we did it this morning before your work” You whisper.
“I know, couldn’t even think s-straight the whole day, was hard the whole day.” The hand on your breast squeezes the flesh in his hands making you whine. “So soft oh god!”
“Yeah you like knowing that you make me hard during work, I know you do.” He chuckles, positioning himself at the entrance of your dripping quivering pussy, your knees dig into the couch on either side of his knees, spreading your legs farther to accommodate him. Your breath hitches audibly when he pushes himself in you, one hand digging into your hip now, the other on your breast kneading and squeezing the soft flesh in his tattooed hand.
“Ohhh…” you arch your back, head thrown back enough to land on his shoulder as he keeps you in place.
“I love this oh fuck I love this pussy.” He moans biting down on your shoulder. “so fucking good, tight, warm…oh fucking great.” He ruts his hips into you, hand snaking around your belly to keep you on him without slipping off, the other switching to the other boob. You cry out in pleasure leaning back on his shoulder, back arched, hands pressed on his thighs; he makes you bounce on his cock with each thrust.
“Jungkook…oh fuck yes!” you clench your teeth.
“How does it…feel mhmm…fuck!” he shakes his head like a crazed bull, you were so tight around him, the hand on your boob moves up to snake around your neck to pull you closer, the back of your head touching his shoulder, the angel arching your back more, making the strokes deeper hitting the spot each time.
“Good…so fucking good!” you manage to choke out in between sobs and hisses.
“Oh God you`re dripping…you`re so messy…you like being messy doll?” he says ramming his cock into your dripping hole, your juices leaking around it. You nod with a chocked moan. “y-yes….ahhuhhhggg!!!” you sob, under his mercy.
“I can feel you…getting tighter, are you gonna come for me already?” he hums against the back of your shoulder, his speed not wavering as he makes you take his cock, the hand around your waist dips lower to rub your clit roughly. Your whole body twitches at that in attempts to get away from the delicious assault, your core was extra sensitive.
“Take it!” he hisses, the hold around your neck tightens a bit. “Take it like a good girl, I know you can.” He coos against your ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth, fingers flicking your sensitive button like there`s no tomorrow.
“Uhhhhhhnnn!!” you whine, hands clutching his thighs.
“Let go…” he presses his forehead against your shoulder, hips snapping up into you. after a couple more thrusts and frantic rubs on your clit, you come with a wail, he holds you against him to chase his high, a cry leaves your mouth each time he rams into you until he`s relieves himself. Jungkook leans back into the couch taking you with him, rubbing your stomach soothingly as your breathing calms down, he presses soft little kisses along your shoulder and neck.
“Too much?” he husks, voice still deep and husky from his orgasm.
“Loved it.” You shake your head against his shoulder.
“Come on, I`ll run us a bath.” His fingers tap lightly against your stomach. That moment, that moment was heaven for you.
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It is a Sunday morning, a lazy one, the one where you just lay on the couch and watch TV, Jungkook was in the shower, Haru was sitting next to you on the couch, playing with her smurfs plushies. You smile looking at her, her hair were getting longer, she was getting bigger and more and more aware of her surroundings, still the same angel as before though. Her pout looked identical to Jungkook`s when she concentrated on toys, trying to play, making whatever scenarios her little brain is able to make. The door bell dings making you turn your head towards the door instinctively.
“I`m going to open the door okay bambi, be good.” You pick her up and place her on the carpet next to the couch so that she doesn’t fall when you`ll be gone. You walk over to the door opening it without a care but the sight in front of you kicks you in the stomach, your legs shake immediately.
“Surprise!” three voices say in unison, you forget to breathe.
“See I told you she would be super surprised to see us all of a sudden.” Your mother leaps forward with a huge smile on her face as she squishes you into a hug.
“Mom…” your voice shakes a bit when you choke out.
“It`s so great to see you after almost a year.” Mrs. Jeon comes forward and takes her turn in squeezing you.
“Hey kiddo!” Mr. Jeon pats your head.
“What a…pleasant surprise.” You manage to croak, in any other circumstances this is the ultimate surprise, of course you were happy to see your family but what about Haru who`s playing in the living room, Jungkook, Jungkook? He doesn’t even know. His parents don’t know any of this. What is going to happen? Your nerves kick in.
“The house looks like a place humans would live in.” Mr. Jeon chuckles looking around.
“It`s all because of y/n of course, if it was just Jungkook living here…” Mrs. Jeon jokes.
“No actually, Jungkook is a clean freak now, he can`t stand anything dusty.” You nervously laugh, not forgetting to defend Jungkook even in this situation.
“Wow, that`s a surprise, a pleasant one of course.” Mr. Jeon raises his bushy eyebrows.
“You two completely forgot your old parents so we decided to come ourselves to see you, we`ve missing you two troublemakers.” Your mother side hugs you, you were slightly taller than her.
“I`m so happy to see you.” you kiss her forehead. Haru`s babbles are heard the more you all near the living room. Mrs. Jeon gasps when her eyes land on the little girl playing with the toys. She strides towards her with a big smile, lifting her off the ground into her arms.
“Oh my my, look at this beautiful girl.” She coos, Haru on the other hand is petrified of this complete stranger holding her, she looks over at you with her button eyes, her bottom lip trembles before she starts bawling.
“Oh no no no, booboo is here, sshh.” You run towards her, taking her from Mrs. Jeon`s arms.
“Are you taking babysitting jobs y/n?” your mother smiles at the little girl who has wrapped her tiny arms around your neck, her face tucked into your neck as you rub her back to calm her down. You just look at the three of them, how do you tell them? Is this even your place to tell them?
“She seems so fond of you.” Mrs. Jeon smiles at you.
“y/n, whose child is this?” Mr. Jeon says something for the first time he enters the living room, his eyes are sharp on you, out of instinct you hold Haru a little closer.
“Mom, Dad, mom!” Jungkook`s voice rings in your ears and you feel as if you are able to breathe again. You feel his presence near you as he leaps to hug his two moms, he has always called your mom- mom, earning few coos and “oh you got skinny” typical mom talk from them, you couldn’t bring yourself to say something and pull his leg like you always did in these situations because you were scared to death right now. He hugs his dad too, earning a few hard taps on his back that`ll surely rearrange the position of one`s lungs. That was Mr. Jeon`s way of greeting his son.
“We were just talking to the little princess here.” His mother coos again. “Do you even help y/n around the house; look at her taking babysitting jobs and all that”
“This is not a babysitting job.” Jungkook says simply and your heart skips a beat, you didn’t expect him to be this forward but Jungkook knew that there was no point in dragging this any longer, he was tired of living in constant fear of how he would break this news to his parents. In this moment he really said “Fuck it” and just hoped for the best. You look at the moms, their smiles fading a little bit at that, Mr. Jeon was now also looking at Jungkook.
”She`s mine.” He says and your neck snaps towards him, he looked determined, unafraid and stern when he uttered those words, you were proud of him for that and you would’ve expressed it too if your legs weren’t shaking right now.
“What do you mean she`s yours?” Mrs. Jeon`s mellow voice says a little shocked more like confused  then she gasps looking between the two of you.
“You…y/n, is she….” She tries to connect the dots which were not even there.
“No, Mrs. Jeon, she…Haru is Jungkook`s daughter.” You interrupt her before she gets any more ideas.
“Who is the mother?” she asks, looking at Jungkook.
“She left her in the hospital when she was just a few months old.” Jungkook says, his voice doesn’t waver.
“Oh dear God Jungkook.” Mrs. Jeon practically falls on the couch, clutching her head in her hands as she sobs softly.
“Y/n, and you didn’t tell us too?” your mom sits next to Mrs. Jeon, rubbing her back.
“Mom…I…she`s his child, we should just acce…” you start rocking Haru gently against your shoulder.
“Never! She`s no one to us, how can we accept just anyone into our family?” Mr. Jeon barges in the conversation.
“You accepted me…my mother into your family.” You tear up and watch Mr. Jeon freeze at your words.
“I was a stranger Mr. Jeon, but she…she is your blood, please don’t do this to her.” You go near him, Haru clinging to your neck.
“Please…choose love, this little angel... just needs your love, that`s it.” You put your hand on his shoulder, hoping that he would understand what you were trying to say instead he flinches back and storms outside the house, slamming the door on his way out. Haru flinches, softly cries against your shoulder at the loud sound.
“Ssshh bambi, I`m here.” You rub the back of her head. You turn to see Mrs. Jeon and your mom behind you.
“Jungkook what have you done?” Mrs. Jeon tears up again punching his chest lightly.
“I`m sorry mom, but it is the truth, the biggest truth of my life, I am a father now and nothing can change this fact.” He sniffles, finally breaking down in front of his mother; she engulfs him in a hug, Jungkook sobs in her neck, he just couldn’t be weak in front of his father because he thinks that`s what he thinks of him anyways, Haru hears Jungkook`s sobs and starts crying too.
“Jungkook…” you say softly and he breaks away from his mother, taking Haru from your arms.
“Dada” she puts her small hands on his tear stricken cheeks and he sniffles.
“It`s okay…dada is okay.” He says holding her close to him and that seems to do the trick, calming the little girl.
“She looks a lot like you.” His mother states the obvious, a small smile creeping up on her face as she watches her son and his daughter in front of her.
“Yeah, y/n says so too.” Jungkook smiles through the tears. His mother tucks herself under his arm smiling with her eyes closed, she looked content, he shifts Haru on one arm and opens one arm for your mother, she gladly takes the other side smiling through the tears.
“I hope she`s not entirely like you.” your mom jokes pinching his cheek.
“Mooommm!” he whines softly before laughing a little, you watch them with a soft smile.
“Thank you y/n…thank you for being there for my crazy son through all of this.” Mrs. Jeon turns her attention towards you.
“You don’t need to thank me Mrs. Jeon, I love Haru more than anything in my life, she makes me happy, she`s for me in a way.” You try to widen your arms enough to engulf all three of them in a hug, Haru definitely enjoying the attention. They all giggle at your attempt to hug them all, your face pressed into Haru`s back.
“Jungkook can you please put Haru down for a nap? She gets grumpy in five minutes I`m warning you.” you chuckle.
“Of course.” He smiles.
“And I will try and talk to Mr. Jeon.” You press your lips together, gesturing towards the door.
“Y/n you don’t have to, he`s never gonna accept something related to me and I can live with that now.” Jungkook looks bitter when he says those words but you know deep down he wants his father around, he wants him to be happy and accepting of his daughter.
“I need to try, our bambi needs her grandfather hmm?” you smile, rubbing his bicep, he nods.
The cold air was not too hard on your face when you got out of the house, Mr. Jeon should be around here somewhere, you hope he is because where would he go? He is not from around here. You walk down the street to see Mr. Jeon holding onto a pole, his back turned towards you.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” you ask softly.
“Always but not if you`re here as Jungkook`s lawyer.” He says, his back still turned towards you.
“Who would want to be his lawyer? I`ll definitely loose, he`s hopeless.” You joke and Mr. Jeon lets out a hearty chuckle. If you weren’t so traumatized by the word “Dad” you would definitely call him dad, Mr. Jeon restored your faith in men, in fathers, he showed you that you were good enough for a family, a home. He loved you unconditionally as a father and you were beyond thankful for it. Your heart ached when you saw a flash of fear and disappointment in his eyes earlier before he stormed out of the house.
“He`s so young y/n and maybe that wouldn’t even be the problem if it was someone else but it`s Jungkook, the same Jungkook that still needs you to function properly in his daily life, how would he raise a child?” He says after a pause, turning towards you, his eyes were soft when he talked to you, you were the daughter he never had.
“I know and I agree, he still sometimes wears different socks to office.” You smile at him and he shakes his head. “But he really loves Haru Mr. Jeon, I know how he deals with her, maybe he wants to get babied by all of us but he is the perfect father to Haru, he didn’t back away from her Mr. Jeon, he accepted her with all his heart and he chooses her every day.” You feel your eyes tingle with tears, you knew one thing and that was Jungkook`s love for his child.
“Y/n…” Mr. Jeon starts, his eyes also glossy.
“Please this is not the person I know, you are an example for how to accept people in your life and I was not even blood, she is your own family Mr. Jeon, you are her family please don’t do this to her, she doesn’t even understand all of this.” You hold both of his hands in yours. “Please.” You whisper. Mr. Jeon sighs.
“Okay.” He says slowly and your face lights up.
“Really?” you beam and he nods with a smile.
“Only because you have faith in my idiot of a son.” He smiles down at you.
“Thank you thank you thank you!” you hug him immediately and he lets out another hearty dad chuckle.
The rest of the day went by so quickly because of how happy everyone was, Haru loved her grandmothers, she played with them like the polite sweet little girl she is, even Mr. Jeon and Jungkook were on their best behaviors, talking about each other`s works and Jungkook even discussed getting a new car with his dad, asking for his opinion on which car to get. The house felt empty and dead when they all left, Haru was so tired and whiny by the end of the evening that you had to put her to bed early and now you were helping Jungkook with the dishes, he was washing them and you were drying them.
“Careful with that glass container, it`s your mom`s.” you remind him for the third time.
“Stop it or you will seriously jinx it and I`ll end up breaking it.” He whines carefully picking up the container from the soapy water to wash it properly.
“Then be ready for what`s gonna come your way.” You shrug your shoulder, focusing on drying up the dishes he washed already.
“Thank you for today, my heart is full with nothing but warmth and satisfaction knowing that my family knows about my family, and it`s all thanks to you.” he says looking at you with his soft lazy gaze.
“I don’t even know why we were so scared, it`s our family hello? We know these people and how accepting and loving they are.” You laugh at the whole situation, well now you can as it was all settled.
“Mom and mom yeah I can agree but dad only came back because you talked to him, just accept my gratitude you little shit.” Jungkook groans making you laugh.
“Okay okay, no problem, anytime, hm? Happy?” you roll your eyes. He dives in with the speed of lightening taking your lips with his in a deep kiss, the more he licks into your mouth the more your afraid the plate in your hand will fall, he retreats with a loud pop that echoes in the kitchen.
“Very” he bites down on his bottom lip looking down at you. both of you going back to doing what you were doing like nothing happened.
“You should go sleep, aren’t you gonna wake up early in the morning?” he says after few moments.
“No actually, all my work can be done from home now.” You put the dish down and look at him.
“My thesis advisor recommended to complete the rest of my research from other universities around the world, it`ll really diversify my study.” You say, watching Jungkook listen with great concentration.
“That`s great, are you planning on taking up the offer?” he asks, his attention on you.
“I don’t know kook, I`ve…I`ve never been away from home, from you and now Haru…I don’t know what I feel about this.” You sigh, a small frown on your forehead.
“Hey, you don’t need to worry about anything, this is a great opportunity for you and I think you should experience something out of the box for a change y/n, I say go for it!” he dries his hands with a napkin. You nod, he was right and it was just four months, six at most.
“Haru and I will be right here waiting for you to come back.” He smiles down at you, squeezing your shoulders into a hug.
“You`re right, I`m just a big baby.” You laugh against his chest.
“Yeah, a cry baby.” His voice was suggestive and you knew what he was hinting at, your suspicions solidify when he slaps your ass bucking you into him.
“Stop, leave me alone!” you whine, your arms squeezing tight around him making him chuckle. “Okay” he hums, still holding you close.
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Everything seemed to be going really well, a little too well for you and Jungkook, he had a job now and didn’t even had to completely say goodbye to his hobby, singing made him happy and you were glad he still got to do that sometimes on the weekend with his friends, sometimes watching him juggle work, hobbies, you and Haru made you laugh internally. Was he the same Jungkook? The same crying and whining little kid who you met because he had scraped his knee on the sidewalk. He was a changed man now and you were glad for him, happy to have witness this growth.
You were walking back from the little café just few blocks away from your house where you met up with Namjoon, a fellow student who was also advised to take his research internationally, it was nice knowing someone who was in the same boat as you, had the same work field as you, thought almost like you and he was nice too, discussions with him always led to a point which helped you in your work, he was a gem of a friend you made after Jungkook. Jungkook? Was he your friend anymore? Friends don’t fuck each other`s brains out every chance they get, do they? friends don’t randomly just join friends in shower, hold them close and then crowd them against the wall to fuck them senseless, friends don’t kiss at random unnecessary moments, they just don’t, that`s not friendship. What worried you the most was Jungkook`s lack of interest in acknowledging this situation, maybe he was thinking about it just like you are and you didn’t even talk to him so you can`t really blame him for anything but one thing was for sure, today you are going to tell him how you felt, you are going to let him know that what you were doing with him and most importantly feeling for him was anything but friendly, you liked him, you loved him and you needed to tell him that now! Your heart was fluttering in your chest excitedly as you adjust your scarf around your neck. That idiot is gonna be so shocked. You laugh at the thought, skipping your way home, the sun was setting making you think it was the most beautiful sight you had ever seen or was it just the thought of loving Jungkook and now you had the guts to tell him?
“I`m home!” you sing song happily.
“Kook today I`ll make anything you want for dinner, no take outs…” the big smile on your face drops in an instant when you walk into the living room, the sight in front of your eyes made your blood boil but at the same made you knees shake with nerves. Jungkook looks up at you, his eyes soft and worried when he took in how you stopped in your tracks, the hand around your half loosened scarf also stopped in place. Your eyes are glued to the woman sitting on your couch…Hanee, in all her tall and gorgeous glory as she stared back at you with her sharp, seductive eyes. On the same couch, you and your family sit.
“Y/n…” Jungkook says carefully, he knows you enough to tell when you are about to lose it.
“Where`s Haru?” you ask him, snapping your hard eyes from her to his face.
“She`s in her room…y/n list…” you don’t let him finish his sentence and storm to Haru`s room. There`s absolutely no way you are gonna let Hanee ruin what you have right now, she`s not gonna take Haru from you, she can`t, she left her alone in a hospital, how can she come back? You had long forgotten about Jungkook and you feelings for him at that point, you were worried about Haru and how her mother can take her away from you and Jungkook. Will Jungkook let that happen? Does he still have feelings for her? The thought makes you slide down next to Haru`s crib, watching her sleep peacefully as you sob weakly. She is his mother after all, what are you? nothing, the bitter, the dark part of you shouts in your ear. Hanee is the mother of Jungkook`s child, if he still feels for her, who are you to blame him, who are you to claim him as yours? No one! The voice shouts again as you sob silently looking at Haru`s sleeping figure, sleep takes over your exhausted senses and body soon.
You feel yourself get lifted off of the ground in a strong embrace, Jungkook`s familiar scent clouding your senses as he carries you close to his chest probably taking you to your room.
“Let me down.” You say still sleepy and broken. He doesn’t say anything and keeps on walking, the door opens and he sets you down on the bed, flicking the lights on, you realize it was his room. You chuckle, it may look crazy to him but you were so tired of everything, tired of having to repress your feelings for him, the feelings you thought were just your teenage dream nothing else, you were tired of always being not enough.
“You might wanna start looking for a double bed now that your baby mama is back in town.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, the tone of your voice makes Jungkook wince. You were hurt and he could see that in your body language.
“Y/n don’t do this.” Jungkook says softly looking at your defeated figure.
“What am I doing? It`s a good advice if you ask me.” You scoff, you thought you were numb but the pang in your chest told you otherwise.
“She said she was sorry and she missed her baby and…me.” Jungkook looks away from you as he spoke, his voice shook.
“Of course she did now that you are out of the woods with everything, now that you have a job, now that you are “mature” now that your daughter is all healthy and not fighting pneumonia at a hospital nursery, of course she misses you two.” You feel the tears falling down your cheeks, how can he be so okay with all of this?
“I didn’t invite her in or believed what she said, trust me, I can`t do that.” Jungkook kneels in front of you, his hand on your knees.
“Please, don’t cry y/n please, you know it breaks me to see you like, I get scared watching you like this, please.” He presses his face into your stomach, you feel him sniffle against it, your hands remain at your sides, clutching the bed sheets between your fingers.
“Why are you crying idiot?” your bottom lip trembles as your heart shatters at the sight in front of you, your fingers reach for his head, massaging his scalp as he cries into your stomach, holding your closer by your lower back.
“I don’t want to make you upset…it’s the last thing I want.” His words are muffled against your belly.
“Ssshh…it`s not your fault, non of this is, let`s sleep.” You make him look up at you as you wipe his tears, he nods.
That night, you feel his calm breathing on the crook of your neck as he holds you close but you stay wide awake.
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The days that you thought your life was just perfect, it couldn’t get any better? seemed like a dream now, Hanee is over at your house most of the times now or Jungkook is over at her place with Haru. You and Jungkook barely talk anymore, he goes to work before you get up in the morning and comes homes late at night when you are asleep. You are not asleep all the time, you hear him shuffle outside your door, contemplating to come inside and then going back as you toss and turn. Were you the villain in this story? Not wanting a mother and her child to reunite? Were you the bad guy here?
Haru was grumpier than ever today, she came back with Jungkook late at night, way past her bedtime.
“Oh oh, what happened bug? I know you`re not having fun right now, here, here.” You try to hold her against your shoulder, patting her back to lull her to sleep and this always helps but she keeps on kicking, she was grumpy and whiny because her sleeping schedule was completely messed up thanks to her “Mom”. Jungkook walks in from his room, you motion him with your hand to not making a noise, Haru whimpers softly against your shoulder as you pat her back, humming a soft tune. She calms down after a while and you take her to her room, her sleeping music and lights always helped putting her to sleep. You smile down at her sleeping figure, she was finally at peace today. You close the door slowly behind her. You needed to talk to Jungkook because his and his apparent girlfriend`s activities are taking a toll at Haru`s health and mood.
“Jungkook we need to talk” you say as soon as you enter the kitchen, he looks up from his phone to look at you.
“Okay” he smiles.
“Kook you can leave Haru with me when you go to Hanee`s.” you say straight up, the time for being subtle was long gone at this point.
“But I go there to let them both spend time together.” He says frowning a little. You scoff, okay like you are supposed to believe this.
“Okay but can you like tell her to meet her at a reasonable hour, bambi caught a cold and she`s so hard to put to sleep these days because you two keep messing with her sleeping schedule.” You sound annoyed.
“You think I`m not a good father, she caught a cold because of me?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow taking a step closer to you.
“I didn’t say any of that Jungkook.” You were not intimidated by him, not one bit as you look into his eyes.
“You were implying it y/n” he chuckles bitterly almost mockingly.
“You don’t have a right to interpret what I`m implying.” Your eyes are hard. When did the two of you go from being all laughs and giggles to this? You missed him but he was getting more further from you each passing day.
“All I am saying is that I have no business with what you do or where you go” a complete lie, your heart shattered even at the thought of Hanee and Jungkook and what they might be doing together when he was not home. “Just keep Haru out of this, she is too young for this, she needs a peaceful sleep every night to grow properly, leave her with me I can take care of her for you.” you say and turn on your heels without waiting for his reply because you were sure you`ll cry and that`s the last thing you want right now.
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You and Namjoon were practically kicked out of the café for staying there till midnight. You both giggle gathering your stuff and get out of the café, the clouds were grumbling indicating the arrival of the winter rain.
“Whew, the owner almost kicked our asses out.” Namjoon giggles as he rubs his hands and then shoving them into his pockets.
“Really that was close.” You giggle. “But we got a lot of work done today, just three weeks before the big step.” You were excited to explore the horizons, but at the same you were scared, your heart a little uneasy.
“Yup, me too, I`m too excited my bags are all packed.” He walks with you.
“Oh my god really? That`s actually great, you wouldn’t have to panic in the last minute like me Namjoon, I didn’t even pack a sock yet.” You whine.
“It`s okay, start from tomorrow, slowly and gradually I think you would pack everything before your flight.” He giggles.
“I hope so” you giggle with him. He stops a cab.
“Hey want a ride?” Namjoon asks as he opens the door.
“Um no, my house is just a block away.” You smile at the gesture.
“You sure?” he gives you a look.
“Yes Joon I`ll be fine and I like this weather, great for a walk.” You push him towards the car.
“Okay, have a great night.” He gives you his cute dimpled smile which makes you smile automatically.
“You too Joon.” You wave at him as he gets in the car.
The walk to the house was short and pleasant, the weather was gloomy and dark, a perfect winter evening.
“I should make some hot chocolate when I get home, I hope I have some marshmallows left.” You think to yourself, Jungkook loves hot chocolate and he doesn’t like it when there aren’t enough marshmallows in his cup, by enough you mean half the cup just filled with marshmallows, the multicolored ones. What if he`s not home? Your throat constricts at the thought but his car in the driveway makes your heart jump with happiness, you try to be quiet, maybe he`s asleep, you will wake him up and surprise him for a movie and hot chocolate, it`s Saturday anyways. You creep through the front door slowly, excited to finally spend some time with your best friend and maybe by the end of the movie, you`ll tell him how you feel about him; just get this weight off of your chest once and for all. You tip toe towards the living room, a big smile on your face but it drops when you hear Hanee`s voice coming from the living room.
“…your roommate doesn’t like me.” You hear the fragment of the conversation.
“She`s not a roommate, she`s my best friend.” You hear Jungkook huff.
“So what? Why is she trying to be more than that? Why is she trying to be Haru`s mother?” her shrill voice doesn’t pierce your ears as much as her words do.
“She`s just looking out for her, she raised her, what are you even talking about?” Jungkook sounds annoyed.
“Raised her? A lot of baby sitters raise children when the mothers are not around, that doesn’t make them family.” She huffs a bitter a laugh and your heart drops at her words, eyes stinging from how much you were widening them.
“Hanee…” Jungkook raises his voice a little.
“What? It is true, she is just a free of cost baby sitter Jungkook, good for you actually because she lives with you and she is your friend, saved you a lot of money.” You hear her say and then feel the tears stream down your cheeks, you waited for Jungkook`s reply in this moment, you needed it, you wanted it in this moment but it never came. He didn’t say anything to her. All you hear are wet, sloppy kissing sounds. Your heart had forgotten how to beat the moment you listened to her venomous voice, how can something that looks so beautiful to the eyes be so vile and disgusting from the inside? You wipe your tears quickly and try to make your presence known to them, clearing your throat you enter the living room. Hanee is straddling Jungkook`s lap as she licks into his mouth, her hands in his hair and her dress riding up her thighs. She jumps off of him mainly because Jungkook shoves her down the couch when he watches you stand in the living room door, his eyes are wide looking at you, lips red, buttons undone on his shirt. Your heart can`t take it, your eyes can`t take it. You head to kitchen without saying a word. You will drink that hot chocolate you don’t care just like he doesn’t care for you. your lips tremble as you mix the hot liquid in your cup, heartbeat could be heard in your ears as the veins in your temples vibrate because of how angry, frustrated and hurt you were. Hanee`s words would`ve had no meaning if only Jungkook had told her to shut the fuck up but he…didn’t? was that all you were? Is this your worth? Is Hanee your true friend who made you realize this?  
“Y/n…” you hear Jungkook coming in the kitchen.
“Hey” you give him small smile, not crying anymore. “Where`s Haru?” you ask him like nothing happened, nothing happened really except for the fact that Hanee gave you the biggest reality check of your entire little life. A reality check that has been cutting through your heart like a blunt knife ever since you got it. You take a long swig of the hot liquid, it burnt your tongue but the fire inside you was far more intense than this harmless liquid.
“y/n…” Jungkook sounds desperate now, he knows you, he knows this looking all okay and dying inside trick of yours.
“I should go check on her.” You say walking towards the door past him but he stops you, holding the wrist that wasn’t holding the cup.
“What? Sorry I didn’t make you any…” you show him your cup.
“y/n what are you doing?” his voice is small as he tries to read your completely straight face.
“What I am supposed to do Jeon Jungkook, as your “Free of cost babysitter” remember? You have to, come on! it wasn’t that long ago.” You chuckle, yanking your wrist from his hand. Your body was getting cold by each passing second, the hurt consuming you.
“You are not a babysitter y/n please don’t do this to me.” His voice shakes as he reaches for you again and you take a step back from him.
“I am Jungkook!” you scream, tears welling up in your eyes as the grip on the cup in your hand tightens. “I fucking am, I thought I was not, I thought I was your best friend, your only bestest friend, the one and the only y/n” you laugh bitterly, tears now falling on your cheeks. “But no! I got to know today that I was the idiot here, because when she called me all of that you didn’t say anything” you look at him, the hurt in your teary eyes makes Jungkook choke on his breath as he stumbles back from your words, softly crying now. “not a word, when she called me just a babysitter who you didn’t pay, no wait! You did actually pay me by fucking me here and there, we totally forgot about that.” Your words were nothing but pure green poison on your tongue you spat on him. He winces at that, crying audible now.
“And I took that payment like the foolish bitch I am, I should’ve asked for money, it could’ve helped me in life you know but damn” you wipe your tears, taking yet another swig of the hot chocolate, watching Jungkook cry through the rim.
“I`m sorry y/n, please, I know I fucked up and I have no excuses just please forgive me, please forgive me like you always do.” He strides towards you, holding your forearms as he cries uncontrollably.
“There`s nothing to forgive Jungkook, you two just showed me my worth and I`m glad you did, better late than never.” You whimper.
“But just know that I`ve always seen bambi as my own child, not even yours, my own.” You crack a smile at the thought of her. The first time you held her when she cried, how she slept so peacefully in your bed next to you for the first couple of nights because she was sick.
“No I know please don’t explain anything to me please y/n, I know who you are, no no.” he holds you to his chest as he whines and cries into your hair, his hands are trembling.
“I feel like I have to Jungkook, you questioned the most precious and pure relationship I have and it broke me, it really did. You questioned my love for Haru? It hurts.” You sniffle against his chest, your hands dangle by your sides, not willing to hold him for the first time in your life.
“Please tell me how can I fix this…” he was desperate once again, his words sped up.
“I don’t think you can.” You whisper pushing him away from you.
“I just hope you don’t treat Haru like you have been treating her for the past month, she doesn’t deserve you two as her parents.” Your eyes are hard once again and your words trigger something in Jungkook.
“I`m her father, I know how to treat her.” He says wiping his tears. The dark part of him telling him that you mocked him once again intentionally or unintentionally, he doesn’t care. Why doesn’t his daughter deserves someone like him? Why did you say that?
“Yeah?” you say with a straight face. “How about you tell that to her sinus infection, the fever she runs every night and how less she sleeps because of you and that bitch who takes her out in the cold? Jungkook how about you tell this all to the doctor who asks me everytime when I visit him about you? how about you tell this to your daughter who wants nothing but her father to be with her in the mornings and put her to bed every night like he used to?” you scream on his face, the veins in your neck popping out of the delicate skin.
“She is your responsibility as a father, she didn’t ask to be born just because you liked getting it on raw Jungkook, she`s a human being who needs a father and a family, the quality of life she deserves.” Your voice was getting dryer with how much force you were putting into it.
“And what do you know about family and father and quality of life huh y/n?” you freeze in your spot, the moment these words leave his mouth. The world around you stops and you find it harder to breathe with each second as you look at his hard face, was this Jungkook? No no he can`t be can he? He would never hit you where you bled the most. On cue, the thunder rumbles, making you stumble back physically, your legs are about to give up at any point. Jungkook knew what those words did to you, he saw you die because of this topic on numerous occasions in his life but the damned dark part of his soul didn’t want to stop there.
“What do you know about a family? A father? How can you lecture me about something you`ve never experienced yourself?” he hisses and watches you hold onto the counter, your chest heaving up and down, not a single tear coming out of your eyes though.
“How can you say any of this when you lived off of my family and me to fix your daddy issues your whole life y/n?” he chuckles bitterly, the way you were struggling to breathe in front of him was completely ignored by him. His dark side won finally, all his insecurities that crept up because of you, won this time, he killed you, he killed you with his bare hands tonight. You peel yourself off of the counter to get to your room, practically crawling towards the drawer as you search frantically for the inhaler, your breathing turning animalistic at this point. You suck it in your mouth, pumping it with shaking hands, the constricting air finally easy to breathe. You sit there for a moment before getting up, Jungkook was already in the kitchen when you looked for your phone like a maniac, your hair in tangles, cheeks tear stained and blotched, hands trembling, legs jelly.
“Y/n, I`m sorry, please I don’t know what came over me, pleaseplease listen to me.” Jungkook tries to stop you with his whole body as you look around for your phone with trembling hands and crazed eyes.
“LET ME GO!” you scream, scraping your throat with the intensity of your voice.
“No please no, here slap me, hit me y/n please but please forgive me, I didn’t mean any of that please noooo.” He cries as he takes your arms and uses your hands to slap his face.
“Let.me.go” you grit each words through your teeth, your head was spinning with anger and hurt. You shake him off of you with so much force that he stumbles back, his state disheveled, his eyes were blood red, button up shirt undone from his endeavors with Hanee, hair a mess.
“Y/n…” he reaches for you again. You take the hot chocolate cup from the counter and slam it on the ground with your full force, the china flying into hundred little pieces at the impact.
“Don’t you…fucking come near me.” You hiss through your teeth as you shake your head. It was raining cats and dogs outside at this point.
“Please…I`m sorry please don’t do this, I…sorry y/n!” he drops to his knees few steps away from you, joining his hands together to ask for forgiveness, you were numb at this point but one thing was for sure you can`t forgive what he said. He knew you better than anyone and he knew what this all meant for you, what he meant for you, what Mr. and Mrs. Jeon meant for you and he still said all of that. He still mocked your father leaving you.
“You m-made the only thing that was a safe place for me so unsafe and scary that now… I am s-scared to even look at you.” you cry a heart wrenching cry at this, you felt homeless all of a sudden. Jungkook took your home, your family from you.
“Please…please…I`m so sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say as he cried still on his knees in front of you. you wipe your tears with the sleeve of your sweater and storm outside of the kitchen. Jungkook scrambles to his feet with wide eyes, following you, watching you head for the main door.
“y/n, y/n, no please no.” he shakes his head with wide eyes following you.
“DON`T MOVE! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!” you scream and watch him flinch at your voice. “Don’t even think about following me or I swear I`ll forget that we were friends once.” You grit your teeth, yanking the door open, stepping outside in the pouring rain, the cold rain immediately trickles down your back as you walk with full speed, shivers running all over your body.
“Y/N! Y/N!” you hear Jungkook`s strained voice running behind you.
“I`m serious Jungkook, don’t make me do something we`ll both regret in this moment, leave me alone.” You say without even turning around and walk straight ahead. Jungkook watches you walk away from him, his heart was dead in that moment. He ruined the only good thing in his life.
You walk for what it felt like hours in the rain and stopped once you realize the rain had stopped. You thought this rain would wash away the hurt this night wrote in your fate but it didn’t, your heart was breaking constantly, the ache was making it hard to breathe the cold air. You hug yourself shivering from the cold. Jungkook said all of this to you? you still couldn’t believe it? You didn’t want to believe it. You take a cab back to the house, the driver eyeing you from the rear view mirror, clearly concerned for your state. You on the other hand were thinking of getting out of the house, you can`t stay with him, not after this.
The house was quiet, Jungkook wasn’t home you could tell, his bedroom door was opened, maybe he went to search for you, he will never find that y/n he was friends with once, he killed her tonight. You hurry to your room and change into dry clothes, shoving everything that seemed important into your bags and zipping them. Your heart almost stopped when you heard Haru`s sleepy whimpers, you rush to her room.
“Hey bambi, hi angel.” You coo, picking her up from her crib.
“I`m sorry for everything today, I know I screamed a lot today, I know.” You lay her against your shoulder, patting her back, that always seems to do the trick.
“I love you so so much bambi, so so much you don’t even understand.” You lips tremble as you rock her gently in your arms.
“I will always pray for you my angel, it is really sad that we have to part because of some people in our lives but my love please know that booboo loves you so much, my angel, my precious little sweet girl.” You see her already asleep, she always found comfort in your voice and embrace. You gently put her in the crib.
“I`ll miss you sweet angel, I hope life treats you better than it did me.” Your voice shakes as you kiss her forehead one last time.
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Jungkook comes back to the house; your wet shoes were on the carpet. He sighs a relieved breath, you were home, you were finally home. He barges into your room to ask you for another chance, put his head on your lap until you give him another chance but you weren’t there. He looks around to see most of your stuff gone, he looks around the house with a frantic look in his eyes. You weren’t here, you finally had enough of him. He drops to his knees, drained of emotions at this point, looking into the space in front of him with his teary red eyes. He wished he could’ve turned back time if not to his childhood when life was simple and you were the happiest but to few days back when he was the happiest, when he had you in his embrace, when he had his family.
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tag list:  @fan-ati--c​,@mageprincess7​,@yoonabeo,@Oazulcielo,@sabrinareadsbts​,@carzjeon,@nervousbeardgardener,@crazyforbangtan
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venusiangguk · 5 months ago
the art of doubting | jjk (m)
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>>pairing: jungkook x reader / dilf!jk x grocery store clerk!oc
>>genre: friends with benefits, smut, a lil bit of fluff, angst
>>word count: 17k -.-
>>warnings: dom jk, sub oc, age gap, dilf jk stuff: asking for permission, saying thank you, sexual tension, gross domestic flirting 🙄, push up kisses, orgasms, oc getting overwhelmed bc jock is too gewd <3, oral (m), rimming !!, mirror sex, one (1) spank, jreampie <3, tummy bulging (kinda? he presses on her tum to feel it?), praise, dirty talk, encouragement, showering together, kisses 😚, ex wife has arrived, mentions of divorce, a lil bit of sad talk about nari :(, nari is two now!!, misunderstandings, arguments, jk lowkey got some issues he needs to work thru lol, he thinks in extremes, oc is in love </3, a very drastic 180 occurs
>>notes: ex wife arrives and literally makes everything explode lmao
this is part of my dilf jk series that can be found on my masterlist
>>summary: seeds of doubt are planted and unfortunately they grow faster than love. things with jk fall apart.
Soft grunting groans filter through the air as you slowly make your way down the stairs to the lower floor. Not really a basement, more of an indoor workout cave.
Jeongguk’s shirtless on the bench, pulling weighted arms down on the machine, the muscles in his back rippling and straining with every pull down. He sees you in the mirror as soon as you walk in, his eyes lighting up and a small winded laugh puffs from his chest.
“Hey— hang on… almost— done…”
You shift on your feet a little, watching him through the reflection. The sight you see is a little too obscene to just be a work out, you feel like. He’s not sweaty yet, probably just started, but his face is a little red from the excretion, and his lats are on display as he does the repetitive workout over and over with clenched teeth and breathy grunts until his body gives out. He catches his breath for a moment, shakes his arms out.
“You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked,” you say, tiptoeing over to him and stepping over the plastic baby weight on the mat. “Also why do you do so many at once… looks miserable.”
Jeongguk laughs softly, looks up at you with his doe-eyes when you’re close enough to rest a hand on his shoulder. He’s warm to the touch.
“I usually don’t but I’m the only one here, and I knew it was you coming. Also my phone is charging upstairs so if you texted when you got here like normally, I would not have known.” he explains. “I tend to focus more on longer sets with lighter weights, than shorter sets with heavier weights because it helps keep muscles lean… I’m not trying to bulk up right now.”
You tell him that that makes sense even though you really have no clue. Just know that whatever he does to stay fit works. “Nari at her mom’s?” you ask.
He nods, standing up to go over to the pull up bar on the side of the machine. Wiping his hands on the tiny workout shorts he’s wearing, he jumps a little, and then wiggles his fingers on the bar to get a good grip. “All yours till Friday,” he says, cutely.
Rolling your eyes playfully, you correct him. “Till tomorrow afternoon. I have work… might get a raise soon.”
You wander around a little as Jeongguk goes on about how you should already be getting paid more considering you have a college degree, but you tune him out, knowing he’s trying to be on your side and make you feel better. A marketing degree won't get you far in a grocery aisle, and you both know that, but it’s sweet of him to try.
Instead, you opt to take in your surroundings. You’ve been all around his house of course, but you’ve not spent much time in the workout dungeon.
It’s fully equipped, and fully mirrored, with the flooring being that of wrestling mats to cushion dropped weights or baby stumbles.
On one side of the room there’s an elliptical, a treadmill, a rowing machine, a bench press, basically one of everything that you would normally see in a gym. But on the other side, blocked off by a baby safety gate, is a mini little workout zone filled with mini weights, those foam blocks that you normally find in a child’s gymnastics zone, and a little dance bar along the mirrored wall.
You smile, thinking about Nari holding onto the bar and doing that funny little squatting move of hers. “Are you going to put her in dance?”
He looks at you through the mirror, no longer doing pull ups, but just watching it seems. Seated on one of the benches with a water bottle in his hand, resting between his spread legs. “Ballet I think,” he says, “Me and her mom were talking about it. She thinks it’ll be good for Nari’s coordination…” He gives you a humorously exasperated look, “I just think she’ll look cute in a tutu. Though I suppose coordination would be helpful… she’s a bit clumsy.”
“She is only 2,” you point out, walking over to his side of the room again. “Was the party fun?”
It was on Saturday, just a few days ago. Jeongguk said it was fairy themed much like most of the baby’s things. You saw the pictures that he sent you, Nari adorned in a pair of tiny pink wings, her cake in the shape of a mushroom. The kids all got tiny bottles of ‘pixie dust’ to play with, shimmery bubbles floating through the air.
There was a woman in one of the pictures, blowing a bubble into Nari’s delighted face, her own smile matching that of the baby. She obviously wasn’t the focus of the photo, and you doubt that Jeongguk even realized when he sent it. But you already knew who the woman was anyway. The pictures around Jeongguk’s house were enough to tell you, even if he never explicitly stated it. And you know it makes sense and that it’s normal for her to be there, with Jeongguk at their daughter's birthday, but something settled into the pit of your belly when you looked at that picture. You haven’t been able to shake it yet.
Jeongguk’s voice brings you back. “Yeah it was fun, you got the pictures right?” He seems excited. You laugh a little, reminding that yes, you did see. You responded to them after all. He grins sheepishly as he goes to another machine, “Don’t be sassy, or I’ll eat the piece of cake we saved you.”
His sentence warms your heart. The fact that he was thinking about you, keeping you in mind. Reminds you of the bittersweet message you received from him on Saturday while he was at the party.
Wish you could have come
It took some effort, and you’ve done your best to not think about the fact that you could have, if he had asked you to. Saturday was your day off.
“What flavor is it?”
“Funfetti, obviously.” Jeongguk rolls his eyes, grunts quietly as he does another rep.
“Obviously,” you mime, with a small chuckle.
Conversation flows smoothly, just like always, everything seamless between you both. While most people wouldn’t probably get annoyed at someone hovering, Jeongguk seems happy to be near you, glad for the company. You sit beside him as he gets to the ground for some push ups.
He gets about three in before you’re laying flat on your back, boredom making a thought pop into your head.
“Do them over me.”
Jeongguk falters mid-way up, glancing at you with a suspicious look. “Why?”
“I wanna help,” you reason.
“Not sure being on top of you will be helpful,” he murmurs, but appeases you nonetheless, side walking on his hands and the balls of his feet until he’s over you.
You both give each other closed lip smiles as you try not to laugh. Jeongguk lowers himself, and you sneakily place a sweet kiss on his cheek.
“I knew you didn’t want to be helpful,” he says, his voice laced with faux annoyance. He does another one and receives another kiss. “You want to be distracting.”
“I’m not being distracting, I’m providing incentive.”
“I can’t even go all the way down, your tits are in the way.”
“You are so ungrateful.”
He smiles with his eyes as he goes down again, his nose brushing yours as he nuzzles into your cheek briefly. “And how are you providing incentive?”
You hum at the feel of his warm breath on your ear. “The longer you hold your plank, the longer you get to kiss me.”
“Who says I wanna kiss you?” he teases, voice soft as a feather as he does another push up.
“You always want to kiss me,” you tell him, just as quiet, tension radiating off of you as you readjust yourself, your legs opening so that the next time he drops down, he’s not just over you, but between your thighs as well. “And you haven’t yet…” you remind him as you drag your acrylics over his bare back, smiling at the way he shudders and at the way his arms buckle.
He grins, looking at you like you’re unbelievable, yet everything he wants right now. “Between you and Nari, I can never get anything done.”
You hum, “I just think you need to reevaluate your priorities, maybe.”
“And what do you think my priorities should be, __?” he whispers, eyes searching your face, lingering on your lips, a fond look coloring his features.
“Well, right now,” you start, looping your arms around his neck, “I think you should really focus on that plank, and on that kiss you’re dying to give me.”
Your teeth click before your lips lock because of how much you both are smiling.
But once lips lock, it doesn’t take much for Jeongguk to collapse onto you. Doesn’t even try to hold the plank, instead just melding his body to yours, the inside of your legs clamping around his waist. He goes from having his hands flat on the mat to bracing himself on his forearms, his knees hitting the mat between your legs. You use some of your weight to bring him closer, the slowly swelling front of his work out shorts pressing into the crotch of your leggings.
You work your hips, rolling them slowly up into him, in time with the slow, molten kisses he licks into your mouth.
Jeongguk’s always easy for you, but today he seems to be fighting himself, playfully fighting how bad he wants you. It’s the principle of the thing. To prove a point. The point being that you’re distracting, his weakness. His hips rolling into yours, only to pull back. He lips pressing hard against yours, only to pull back. Just for him to do it over again, just for him to give in like you both know he wants to and will. It's after a particularly hard rut against you that he peels his lips from yours, panting softly, how worked up he is so apparent in the way he can’t stop his hips.
“You’re going to kill me,” he whispers, his nose brushing against your cheek before he sinks his teeth into the apple of it like he just can’t help it, can’t get enough of you.
Your manicured hands cup his cheeks, as you nod and guide him back into a wet kiss. “Want you in my mouth,” you moan against his lips.
Jeongguk pulls back with a light blush on his cheeks. “Are you sure? I was just working out–”
A kiss cuts him off as you slowly start to sit up, him going with you. “Barely broke a sweat, and I don’t care,” you tell him, hands gripping at the elastic of his waistband, “just want you.”
Jeongguk laughs softly, grabs your eager hands, maneuvering to his feet and pulling you with him. It’s then that he strips you of your shirt, your bra. His hands come to cup your bare tits, rolling them in his palms as he brings his lips back to you, all while he toes off his shoes, as well as his socks with a little difficulty and stumbling, but not without sweet laughter filtering in through the kisses.
He makes his way down as he pushes your pants down, his lips latching to a nipple, making you mewl under the light flicks and the soft sucks, hands coming to his hair to keep your balance as you rid yourself from the stretchy material. His hair gets pulled when you’re free, and he’s biting his lip at the tugging when he blinks his eyes open to look at you again.
“Sit on the bench,” you tell him, hand slipping from his locks, and down to his flushed chest. You press lightly, backing him up to the benchpress machine that’s not too far behind him.
The bench is propped up, a reclined sitting position under the secured bar above, resembling more of a chair than the typical flat board of most bench presses.
He gingerly sits down, keeps his eyes on you the whole time, watching as you lower yourself to your knees, settling between his open ones. His cock is hard and pink, up and laying flat on his lower tummy. It pulses when you place your hand on his thighs, long nails running down.
You both smile a little because its funny in a stupid way, but your pussy pulses too, getting slick between you legs at the way Jeongguk responds to you. How eager he is for you, how the mere feel of your hands on his thighs is enough to make him throb in anticipation of what else is going to come, of how good you’re going to make him feel.
“Wanna make you feel good,” you say quietly. Your gaze flicking between his face and the flushed, shiny head of his cock in your hand.
He bites his lip when you slowly start to work your hand on him, his foreskin sliding over the wet tip of his cock, and when you rub the pad of your thumb on the under part of the head, you watch as his head tilts back, his eyes slipping shut, and his mouth exhaling a soft sigh. You squeeze your thighs together at the sight. Jeongguk is so responsive, pliant as he settles into the bench, hot and heavy in your hand.
“Put your mouth on it,” Jeongguk requests, eyes lazily shut.
When you oblige, Jeongguk sucks in a sharp breath, his back arching a little off of the bench behind him, his hips pulling back like the feel of your lips suckling on him is too much, too good.
You pull off with a little pop, holding his cock close smiling against his length. “Why are you trying to get away from me?”
Jeongguk gives you a crooked grin, looking down his nose at you with hazy eyes. “Keep going,” he says softly.
Humming against his length you begin to place heavy, wet kisses down his cock all the way to his balls. The kind where your tongue licks him before your lips suction softly. Then you lick all the way back up with the flat of your tongue, your lips wrapping around him, your head bobbing a few shallow times. Jeongguk keeps breathing those sweet, soft moans. So relaxed and relishing in the way you suck him off. He’s not pulling away anymore, instead trying to keep from bucking into your mouth, you can tell by the way his lower belly tenses.
When you go down a little farther, sucking his balls into your mouth, you moan at the way he whines, at the way his legs subconsciously open wider as you alternate between lapping at him, and teasing him with light circles from the tip of your tongue. He breathes praise, telling you how good it feels. It makes you want to make him feel even better.
His legs spreading wide for you gives you the idea to trail a little farther down, stray off the path of your usual blowjobs. You start with your fingers, something he’s used to and loves. Massaging that spot behind his balls with deliberate little pets, you moan softly when he pulls his legs back just slightly, barely lifting his feet off the ground so you can touch him better.
His brows are pinched, and his mouth is open in a silent moan, his expression one of pleasure and arousal as he brings his hand down to his cock. He slowly tugs at himself, watching as you bring your mouth back to his balls. He’s nodding, eager and encouraging, his hand speeding up.
“You’re–,” he moans, his head rolling back along with his eyes, “My baby.”
Laughing a little you pull back, focusing on just massaging him. He seems extra responsive today, his praise and sentences jumbled and hardly coherent.
“Keep licking,” he moans.
You hum, going to appease him but right before you suck his balls into your mouth you pause. He notices, brings his eyes to you with a questioning, needy gaze, his hand still working over his cock.
You place a chaste kiss to his balls and then one a little lower. Jeongguk jolts, and questions you with a gaze, but he doesn't stop you.
In all honesty, you don't know what you’re doing, have no clue why you even want to, but the desire to make Jeongguk feel good and curiosity spurs you on. He likes your fingers, maybe he’ll like your mouth there too.
Your eyes hold a question in them as you gently, wordlessly push his legs back some more, more of him on display than you’ve ever seen before. Jeongguk grows a little red, but his hand hasn’t stopped, and he just pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, watching you as you kiss on the backs of his thighs.
He’s tense, like he’s just waiting for you to do it. With your breath hot on his taint, you look at him once more, and he gives the slightest nod, permission to continue. His eyes are heavy and he licks over his red bitten lips, and when you press another one of your chaste kisses against him, his brows furrow and his mouth parts and he cranes forward, like he wants it so bad, is so eager that he can't contain it.
The first lick over him makes him gasp, and he breathes the most salacious, “Yeah–” as his legs get pulled back even more.
You smile at him with your tongue out, giving tentative licks to that spot he loves. Your hands are on his cheeks and you pull back some, looking at him with a grin.
Jeongguk groans, a laugh coloring it as his head falls back to the bench kind of like he’s a little bashful about being so worked up. His free hand pushes through his hair before rubbing over his face, eyes finally meeting yours again. “You’re so hot down there,” he tells you.
You purr, pressing your thumbs into his cheeks opening him up a little more. A quick wet lick is placed over his hole and he breathes out a harsh sigh, craning his neck so he can look at you, his tummy tensed.
“Is this what you want?” you murmur against him, getting a little more confident, the tip of your tongue flicking over the cinched muscle.
“Yeah, fuck…” he whispers.
The hand he has on his cock squeezes at the base for a second before he makes a ring with his thumb and index finger focusing on the tip of his cock with quick little strokes. The hand he doesn’t have busy pulls his thigh back a bit more.
As your tongue works over him, he chants over and over again, tells you how hot you look, how good your mouth feels, how wants you to keep going. It’s when you point your tongue a little, just barely pressing into his rim that his hand goes to the back of your head.
He holds your face to his ass, pushes you into him as he melts into the chair, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths that lilt up at the end.
“Good girl,” Jeongguk moans, his eyes blinking open hazily as he looks down at you again.
Your eyes smiles at him as you continue to work your tongue, little wet noises willing the air as you eat him out. When he removes his hand, you lick from his hole to his balls, repeating the action a few times, making Jeongguk almost tremble.
“Your dirty girl?” you ask him quietly in response to the praise he just gave you, giving him tiny little kitten licks over his hole.
He gives you a lustdrunk smile, licking over his lips. “Yeah, all mine.”
“What do you want?” you kiss into his taint, eyes big as you look up at him.
“Just a little more,” he whispers, his thumb spreading the precum leaking from his tip.
You get a hold of the hand on his pulled back thighs, guide it back to the back of your head once again. “Take it then,” you tell him, “take more from me.”
Jeongguk lets out a shaky breath, biting his lip as he pushes your mouth back to his hole. “Look so hot licking my ass,” he breathes, barely audible over the wet licks you’re giving him. He kinda shakes your head, his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched as he sucks a breath through his teeth. “Oh my god–”
When you point your tongue and press past the little resistance, Jeongguk’s mouth drops open and his brows arch upwards, and his eyes roll a little before he squeezes them shut, pushing and pulling on your head just barely, making your tongue fuck him.
It's kind of abrupt when he pulls you back by the hair, his legs coming down again. It’s abrupt when he kisses you. Deep, his tongue licking into your mouth like he doesn't care that you were just licking into him, making him pant, making his cock leak. It’s abrupt when he breaks the kiss. He’s still close, breathing you in, giving you one last soft little peck before he leans back again, his demeanor expectant.
Both of his hands are on your head, and he’s guiding you down, taking what he wants from you just like you told him to. His cock is so hard, flushed and angry looking as it stands, just waiting for your mouth.
It's a swift and quick motion when he pushes your head down, the tip hitting the back of your throat almost immediately. He whines softly, and rocks his hips up while pulling you down onto him, glucking noises filling the air as he fills your mouth.
His length and girth are a lot to take, your eyes prickling with tears as he holds your head down, but when you hear him whisper, so desperately, “Love when you choke on my cock,” it’s so worth it.
He sounds so unabashedly fucked out, like your mouth is the best thing he’s ever felt, like it's the only thing he ever wants to feel for the rest of his life. He’s being a little rougher with you, a little more crude with his words like he’s losing himself in you, losing his control. It makes you moan around him, wanton and needy.
His hips start to fuck up into you mouth again, his hands holding your head in place, keeping you from pulling away. He knows you wouldn’t have, always so well behaved, almost obedient in the way that you please him. But, even so, he just likes having his hands on you, likes feeling the way you struggle to take him.
“That’s a good girl…” he groans, soft and focused, his hips snapping up again. “You’re such a good girl…”
He holds you down once more, shakes your head by the hair so that his tip rubs against your throat, and then he’s pulling you up, kissing you filthily again, not even giving you time to properly catch your breath.
“Get against the mirror,” he says against your lips.
The heat from your hands makes the glass under your hands fog up, and the heat from Jeongguk behind you makes you flush, the heaviness of his cock rutting against the swell of your ass as he wastes no time getting into position.
At the first feel of his tip rubbing between your folds, grazing over your clit, you gasp and your arms buckle. Your legs spread naturally, but Jeongguk makes a tutting noise, and rests one palm on the outside of your hips, the other between your shoulder blades applying light pressure.
“Keep them together, but bend a little– yeah, perfect,” he breathes.
He takes a step back, looks at your ass pushed out for him, your puffy pussy peeking out from between your legs with your clit tucked inside. You’re drippy, shiny and smooth, your slick leaking out, making it sound lewd and wet when he pushes inside.
Your head hangs at the first thrust, Jeongguk pushing in slow but with a steady motion, and you exhale a soft puff.
He keeps his hips against your ass, his cock sheathed by your pussy. His hands grabbing and squeezing, roaming over your body while he waits just a bit for you to get used to him inside of you. Then he’s pulling out, just the tip of his cock still tucked inside, before he fucks into you hard and fast. It knocks the breath out of you, makes your hands on the mirror slip a little.
“F-fuck,” you whisper, your head still hanging, eyes squeezed shut as he fills you up.
Jeongguk’s eyes go from watching his cock slide into you, to the mirror. He moans, the contrast of his tattooed arm on your bare back as he rocks his hips into you is so pretty, just like the way that your shoulder blades push out, how your tiny waist feathers out to the swell of your hips. The fatty part of your hips ripples and pillows against him everytime he thrusts, dull slaps echoing with the whiny moans he punches out of you with his cock.
“Look baby,” he tells you.
It takes a little bit of effort, but when you lift your head, you’re met with a disheveled, messy version of yourself. There’s tears in your eyes, the feel of Jeongguk’s fat cock pushing and pulling in and out of you is overwhelmingly good, his girth rubbing against the sensitive walls of your cunt. Your makeup is messy, your under eyes dark with smudged mascara, the coverage around your mouth and on your nose completely gone, your lips kissed swollen and red.
Eyes moving to Jeongguk behind you through the mirror, you see the way he’s watching you watch him. Watching as your expression changes, how your eyes flutter when he hits that spot inside of you that makes your knees lock, makes your breath stutter and your brows furrow in pleasure.
“There,” you breathe, “God, you make me feel so good, baby.” Your hands slip down the mirror again, the force of his thrusts and the pleasure that’s curling in your belly already making it hard to hold yourself up. You squeeze your eyes shut to keep the tears from spilling over.
Jeongguk picks up the pace of his hips, his hands gripping yours, his thumbs digging into the little dimples at the bottom of your back, a perfect match, like they were placed there just for him. It’s almost like your body was meant for him, crafted with him in mind, fitting together so flawlessly that it’s hard for him to remember there were people before you, people that made him feel good before you did. Because when he’s inside of you, when he’s with you, it’s like that’s all there is. Just an endless loop of you and him, you and him, no beginning or end, no past or future, like the world is only as big as the room you’re in.
“Faster– getting close...”
Your voice echoes in his ears, and he realizes that his thrusts slowed while he got lost in thought. He clears his throat, gets back to work, back to fucking you like he means it, it’s the last time he ever will.
“You always cum so fast when I fuck you like this,” Jeongguk muses, biting his lip when he sees the way your tits jiggle in the mirror.
He expects you to be snarky, make a comment about how he’s smug, too cocky, but instead you nod your head, hands forming fists against the mirror. It’s airy and sexy when you say, “Yeah, you fuck me the best, love your cock… wanna cum for you…”
And it reminds him of the first time he fucked you. How you said more or less the same thing.
“Yeah, wanna fuck you all the time. Love your fat cock…”
That was 6 months ago. It’s not that long but it is at the same time. It feels like only a few seconds and a lifetime in the same breath. Jeongguk feels something stir in his belly, something mix with the steady build up.
“Yeah?” he asks, his voice soft and dreamy– almost fond, juxtaposing the way he’s fucking you. “What do you say?”
You wait a few moments for your body to get there, your head falling again like it's getting hard to support yourself. You’re chanting softly; pornographic ‘yeah’s’ and lewd mewls spilling from your lips nonstop.
“Fuck…” you start, “can I… can I cum?”
It sounds like it's hard for you to form words, so it's a little mean of Jeongguk to spring something new on you. But he can’t help himself.
“Who are you asking?”
A confused sound that turns to a moan at the tailend colors the air.
“Who am I, baby? What should you call me when I’m fucking you like this?” Jeongguk asks, patient and gentle.
You say the first thing that pops into your head.
A sharp slap echoes in the room, and you’re sure there’s a red palm print on your ass. You cry out, whiny as Jeongguk leans over you, his voice in your ear.
“You know better than that,” he says, a little out of breath, but still stern. “Try again. Be polite.”
At this point you’re so close that you’re crying softly, your knees turning inward as you squeeze your legs together as if that will keep your orgasm at bay until he says you can cum. You try to listen to his words, connect the dots and finally it comes to you.
“Sir–” you gasp, “Sir, can I cum?”
Jeongguk groans a little, feels his cock jerk inside of you, the title making that hot feeling burn within him.
“Yes,” he moans, “Look at yourself while you do, want you to see how pretty you look when you cum just from my cock.”
Hardly able to keep yourself up at all, even with the help of the mirror, you tell him in a whiny voice that you can’t, that it’s too hard.
You hear him coo before your world spins a little bit, Jeongguk wrapping an arm around your tummy, pulling you to his chest. His body is burning behind you, and his breath is hot in your ear as he pants, his hips punching into you from behind. The arm that he doesn't have wrapped around your torso comes up, forearm resting between your tits, fingers getting a hold of your jaw making you look straight ahead.
The sight looking back at you is indecent. So filthy that you and Jeongguk both falter, a soft moan echoing in unison.
“Look at you,” Jeongguk purrs.
“Please,” you cry, simply because you don't know what else to say, overtaken with pleasure.
“I already said you could cum, baby,” he reminds you.
And it's like it's all too much and not enough at the same time. Like the push and pull of his cock into your cunt is too good yet exactly what you need, like his hands on you are overstimulating but without them you wouldn’t feel that safety, that feeling of being adored and taken care of. Like his voice in your ear encouraging you is too nice but if he stopped talking to you you wouldn’t know wouldn’t know what to do, that it’s okay.
“Jeongguk,” you cry. Like actually cry. No longer able to hold in the tiny, overwhelmed sobs.
He presses into the side of your head, kisses you as well as he can when he’s jackhammering his hips into your cunt. He shushes you, and his hold on your jaw softens, his other hand petting over your front soothingly. “I know, baby, I know,” he coos.
And it just makes you cry harder. “I can’t– It’s– it’s too much–”
“Yes you can,” he whispers hotly, his eyes on you in the mirror. “You can do it, be good, cum for me…”
He uses the hand he has on your front to press you back into him, closer if that were even possible, but with the slight pressure on your lower belly he feels something.
The moan that falls from his lips is so shameless and lewd. It’s not loud, but more of a soft, wondrous keen.
His cock thrusting into you can be felt with the light push into your belly, and it unlocks something in him. He grabs one of your hands that’s clutching at his forearm and brings it down, his own hand on top of yours pushing so you can feel his cock inside of you too.
“Feel that?” he asks, nipping at your ear lightly, “So hard for you, so deep that you can feel me through your belly... Let go for me, baby, wanna feel you cum on my cock while I can feel myself inside you from the outside.”
Maybe it’s feeling him from the outside, or maybe it's the way he always manages to keep that soft, gentle way with you no matter what. Even if he gets worked up, losing himself a bit– he never leaves you, never becomes too harsh or rough. He’s always the perfect mix of both, and that’s what makes the pleasure that’s been ebbing in you wash over your body.
You tremble in his arms and soft, desperate whimpers get exhaled as you cum. No warning, but Jeongguk knows, feels the way you contract around him as he slows his hips a little, giving you longer, unhurried thrusts. He lets you bathe in it, the dreamy, dizzying high that makes you delirious as you thank him with teary words.
“That’s my girl, so good for me all the time… knew you could do it,” he says, his hips gradually starting to pick up again, his thrusts sloppy.
Vision is a little blurry when you blink your eyes, but the sight of Jeongguk wrapped around you, his face in your neck biting and moaning into your skin–
“Please cum inside of me,” you beg.
“Yeah, gonna–” he tells you, his teeth sinking into that spot between your shoulder and neck. You gasp when he sucks, knowing that there will be a mark, and you bring your hand up to his hair, keeping him close.
Jeongguk switches from those harsh sucks and bites to sweet kisses up your neck to your jaw. His fingers on your face urge you to look over your shoulder, and the distance between your lips and his is too small, too tempting for him to not take it.
He kisses you, desperate just like his thrusts are becoming until he's right at the crest.
“Gonna cum,” he pants against your lips, his hand on your tummy still pushing to feel himself.
You nod, still looking at him behind you, placing soft kisses on his lips at first and then wherever you can reach until he succumbs to the pleasure, his eyes closing and his head lulling back a little before he’s pressing into your sweaty hair, like he wants to hide yet stay close to you. He cums with a gasp, cock buried deep, throbbing with every shot of white that paints you from the inside.
As soon as he catches his breath, he kisses you.
He kisses you again and again and again.
There’s something so intimate… so vulnerable about letting someone wash you.
When there’s no ulterior motives laced with sex or lust. Just gentle touches, pure in the way they take their time with lathering up even the simple, boring parts of your body. Paying special mind to your hands, your calves. Behind your ears, your shoulders.
Jeongguk’s touching you like you’re sunshine.
Like he’s savoring the warmth of your body under his fingertips even though it's too hot in the shower.
He’s touching you like you’re the perfect day, one so perfect that he’s scared it will pass by before he can enjoy it.
He’s touching you with so much care and attention and it feels so good that it’s blissful. It feels so– it feels like when you’re a little kid and you return to the comfort of your home after a long day, to the familiarness of your bed, to everything that makes you feel safe.
It feels like your favorite memory. The one you keep adding onto because the details have gotten fuzzy, but you clutch onto it because it's too precious to let go of.
It feels like a–
It feels like–
Jeongguk takes his time with you.
It feels so good that it’s almost overwhelming in a way that you’ve never experienced before. It feels so good that tears sting behind your eyelids, so different from the tears you shed earlier.
He delicately untangles your hair, gets out all the knots he put in it. He cups your face, gently rubbing the pads of his thumbs under your eyes, getting the makeup off as best he can. He’s careful when he’s suds up your body, mindful of the light blossoms that he planted into your skin. The violet on your neck pulses under the care, a bloom that’s pretty, a bloom that aches, a bloom that feels good.
He’s adoring, he’s soft, he’s bliss.
When his lips kiss your cheek, it's almost platonic, simply because it lacks desire. It sounds bad, embarrassing maybe, that he’s not desiring your naked body in front of him, but it’s not– it’s something new and it's so incredibly wholesome. His kisses are so sweet, so pure, so innocent and just an expression of caring rather than wanting that it makes you want him in a way that scares you.
After the final rinse, you kiss his cheek. Hope and yearn that he can feel half of what he made you feel. You hope he knows what you mean when you say quietly, “Thank you.”
“Wear this one, you look good in white.”
Jeongguk has a fluffy grey towel tied around his hips, lingering water droplets disappearing when they trek far enough down his torso. And you’re scrunching your hair in a matching towel, warm from the heated towel rack. The atmosphere in his bedroom is warm too, soft and comfortable, sweet like a cup of hot tea.
He’s got one of his white shirts scrunched in his hands, ready to dress you. Quiet laughter putters from your lips as you reach your hands up and into the arm holes as he pulls the neck hole over your head. When you pop out Jeongguk is close enough for you to kiss him, so you do.
“We’ve kissed so much today,” he says thoughtfully, turning and digging in his drawers. Instead of taking care of himself, he finds a pair of your lounge shorts that you left here.
“I know, how gross,” you say with playful disgust in your tone, as you take that and step into the shorts. Panties are unnecessary apparently, since he doesn’t hand you one of the stray pairs you know are in his dresser.
He hums walking into the bathroom. “It’s nice, I like kissing you.”
You roll your eyes following him. Hopping onto the counter you watch as he does his skincare. “We already had sex, no need to butter me up, sir.”
The corners of his mouth turn up just barely as he tries not to smile, hardly glancing at you as he dabs his moisturizer in.
“I like it when you’re around,” he says simply.
Heat rushes to your face, and your heart beats loud in your ears and something feels so different.  
So of course you just change the subject.
“I’m so glad we ordered food before the shower.” You place a hand on your belly, “I’m so hungry.”
“Hopefully you clicked the right stuff, since you were, you know, a little distracted… seeing as we were kissing… so much… because I like to kiss you...”
“Do you want a kiss right now? Is that why you’re being annoying?”
He makes an offended expression before immediately going back to his normal face, tinted with faux nonchalance. He shrugs his tattooed shoulder, tapping the cream in. “I wouldn’t object to a kiss or two…”
And so he gets a kiss or two or three, soft, giddy little pecks.
He pulls away, and just looks at you for a few seconds, doe-eyes dancing across your features before falling and lingering on the lovebite he left that’s peeking out. The neck of his shirt is too big, hanging loose. His hand comes up and he fingers at the material like he’s thinking of straightening the shirt out for you.
He doesn’t, instead bringing the hand to your jaw, making you tilt your head, looking up at him.
“You’re so pretty,” he says, his thumb gliding on the apple of your cheek.
Your eyes fall shut, content. A lazy smile laces your words when you say, “Thanks.”
Cute kissy noises ring in your ears until they don’t, the doorbell taking their place.
You pull away so fast that Jeongguk is almost insulted. Jumping from the counter you squeal about the food, tapping his toweled butt on the way out of the bathroom, telling him to hurry up and get dressed as you rummage through your purse for your wallet.
“Wait I’ll pay,” he says, finally dropping his towel and snagging a pair of briefs.
“It’s okay!” you call over your shoulder, speed walking to his front door.
The walk from Jeongguk’s bedroom isn’t too long, but your thoughts are fast, running a mile a minute. The thought of how good today has been, how easy it is to be with him. How whenever you’re with him you find that your cheeks hurt when you go home, laughter constant, and smiles ever present. You think about how warm his home is, how warm he is, how being with him is a comfort that you’ve come to crave.
The smile that is on your face is unconscious, the remnants of the soft emotions swirling in your chest, feeling like you’ve finally pinpointed what's so different about today.
When you open the door, that lingering smile falls and that hazy feeling evaporates.
In front of you is not a delivery guy.
It’s the woman from the pictures. The framed one in the hallway, the one on top of Nari’s dresser, the one in the photo albums Jeongguk let you browse through when you wanted to see his daughter as a newborn. It’s the same woman that was in the picture he sent you.
And your heart drops when you take her in. You knew she was pretty, but the pictures don’t even scratch the surface. Even when her features are pulled in perturbed confusion, she’s beautiful. She’s put together, long dark hair styled and sleek, make up done minimally but elegantly, her parted lips a sheer coral. Her straight, dark brows are furrowed causing a slight wrinkle between them. It looks out of place, an imperfection that doesn’t belong.
Her sharp eyes scan you, both of you just kind of standing there in the doorway, taking the other in. They go from your wet hair, to your face, down to where Jeongguk’s shirt hangs loosely off your shoulder. Her gaze hardens as she lingers there for just a moment, before directing dark eyes back at you.
It feels like it’s been hours, that you both have been there, but in reality it's not even a minute. She looks like she’s going to say something, but the impatient baby in the woman’s arms makes herself known.
At the high pitched squeal that Nari lets out, you snap out of it, plastering a smile on your face. The little one is smiling, clearly excited to see you, her doe-eyes curling and getting mini puffs under them. When she leans away from her mom, arms reaching out towards you, it’s instinct when you go to take her from her mom.
“Hi! Sorry Gguk’s in–” You falter, arms raised halfway, when Nari gets pulled out of reach.
The woman doesn’t go as far as taking a step away from you, but she turns at the waist kind of putting herself and some distance between you and her baby. As you let your hands fall in timid, jerky movements, you look between the two in front of you, and Nari’s doing the same, a cute confused expression on her face like she doesn’t know why she wasn’t allowed to play with you.
And it’s not like you blame Nari’s mom. It’s very apparent that she has no clue who you are. If anything you think it’s good that her mom is protective enough to not just hand Nari over to someone she doesn’t know. It makes sense, but it stings.
“Ba?” Nari babbles, to her mom.
The woman’s cold gaze breaks at the sound of her daughter's voice, and morphs into one of quiet love as she directs her eyes to the baby, giving her a soft smile. She bounces Nari a little on her hip, and Nari giggles. When they are looking at each other, their profile resemblance is striking. Of course Nari’s features are still baby soft, but it's obvious that they have the same nose. Small, slightly upturned. The same lips too; plump with the upper lip almost rounded.
“Who is this, Riri?” she asks her baby playfully, her eyes finding you again at the tailend of her sentence.
She’s smiling, but her eyes are stony, guarded, as she looks at you expectantly.
“I’m __– I’m a uh… a friend of Jeongguk’s?”
Her eyes narrow for a fraction of a second when you say ‘friend’ and the coolness she’s emitting is enough for you to call for Jeongguk for your shoulder, needing the comfort of him. The woman in front of you is intimidating in a way you don’t think you could ever achieve. It’s something about the way she carries herself, so collected and aloof, like she’s mastered the art of keeping it together.
And you’re not scared of her, not really. But what are you supposed to do in this situation other than call for Jeongguk?
At the thought of him, you hear his voice come from behind you and when you turn, you see him walking out of his room, bottom half clothed in dark joggers, his top half bare as he clumsily pulls a shirt over his head.
“Do you need cash for the ti–” When his wet head of hair pops out of the neck hole, and he sees not one girl in front of him, but three, his voice cuts out, and he slows as he takes in the scene before him. You see how his chest expands as he takes a deep breath, like he’s preparing himself before quickening his pace.
Nari starts to kick in her mom’s hold when she sees her dad approaching, excited little gasps puffing out of her.
“Hi, little flower,” Jeongguk coos, smiling wide as he brings his hand up, tickling Nari’s neck, making the baby squirm and curl in on herself as she bubbles out a giggle. “Dasom,” he says as a greeting to his ex-wife, as takes his place next to you, his hand settling on your lower back for just a moment, like he’s letting you know he’s there.
Dasom lets the corners of her lips turn up slightly as she says, “Jeongguk.”
“What are you doing here?” he asks. You can tell he’s trying to keep his voice neutral.
“Something came up at work. I have to go to the headquarters a few cities over for a few days,” Nari grabs at the dainty necklace she’s wearing, and Dasom gently untangles her little fingers, offering her her wrist instead. A heavier, more sturdy piece of jewelry keeps Nari busy. “I texted you hours ago letting you know I was on my way.”
“I was busy. I didn’t have my phone on me,” he explains.
Dasom looks between you both. The freshly washed hair on both your heads, the mark on your neck. The too-big, white shirt you have on that’s clearly not yours. “I can see that,” she replies coolly.
And suddenly you feel so out of place, so uncomfortable. Standing between two people who used to share the home you’re surrounded by. Two people who share the sweet baby girl that’s content babbling to herself. Two people who were married, who were in love, who have so much history together. You know it’s mildly absurd, because they’re divorced, but you feel like you’re intruding, like you’re doing something wrong.
You’re just about to excuse yourself when Jeongguk sighs, runs a frustrated hand through his hair, reaching out and taking Nari from her mom. “__, can you take Nari and wait for me in the playroom?”
“Daaa,” she peeps happily in her dad’s big arms, as he hands her off to you.
“Kook–” Dasom says, uneasiness lacing her tone.
“She’s fine Dasom, she’s been with __ many times,” Jeongguk says with a finality to his tone.
Dasom says her goodbyes to Nari, a tense silence falling over the house as you walk away with the baby. It’s not till Dasom thinks you’re far enough away that she speaks up.
“Who is that, Jeongguk?”
Jeongguk shuts his eyes roughly when he hears a hint of confused hurt in her voice. He can tell she’s trying to mask it, but he’s known her for a long time. Remembers clearly what it sounds like, memories of all the painful talks preceding the divorce edging on his conscience.
“She’s a friend,” he sighs.
“How old are your friends these days?” Dasom questions, confusion turning to judgement– obvious in her tone and her stance, her arms crossing over her torso.
Jeongguk hangs his head and scrubs his hands over his face. “How was Nari?” he asks, trying to change the subject.
His ex has different plans. “How old is she?”
He looks up at her sharp tone, a surprised color to his features. He looks over his shoulder towards the playroom before he turns back to her, a soft incredulous scoff leaving his lips. “She’s old enough, and I’m not doing this with you. So if you don’t have any updates–” His hand is on the door in the process of inching it closed when Dasom interrupts him.
“You know,” she starts, “I never thought I’d have to worry about this with you. Thought you’d be able to keep your personal and parenting lives separate.”
And she knows exactly which buttons of his to push; of course she does. She was married to him for years, knew him better than anyone else at one point in time. She knows that insinuating that he is a lacking parent, that he doesn’t always put their daughter first, will irk him enough to pull a reaction out of him.
It’s purposefully done– vindictiveness an ugly side of his ex that doesn’t come out of her often, only when she’s hurt and wants to hurt back. Or at least it didn’t happen often. It’s been over a year, and people change.
“Are you sure you want to debate which of us has trouble separating and balancing things when you’re the one dropping our daughter off in the middle of your week with her, to go to work?” he asks, his tone icy. He knows her well too. Knows it’s the same insinuations that hurt him, that cut her as well.
Anger colors Dasom’s features as she takes a step closer to Jeongguk, her head tilted a little as she looks up at him. “I do it for her. To provide for her. You know that,” she spits, “And I keep my lovers away from her while I’m at it.”
Jeongguk laughs, like he can’t believe he’s having this conversation. “I’m sure you do, Dasom,” he pauses, debating on whether to add what he’s thinking. “And for the record, I don’t have ‘lovers’. I’m only seeing one person.”
“And are you planning on committing to her? Making it long term?”
Caught off guard doesn’t even really begin to cover the whiplash-like feeling that Jeongguk experiences when he hears the question.
He hesitates, flounders a little. He cares about you, likes you so, so much. And he’s not stupid– he knows that he feels something for you that’s vastly different from what he’s felt for the others before you but– you’re young. So young, with your whole life ahead of you. Meanwhile, he has his life already booked for the next 16 years, at least. He’s never really let himself think about things long term, because it just doesn’t seem realistic. Asking you to commit to not only him, but a two year old as well? It seems selfish to ask that of you, like an unintentional trap that steals your freedom. He can’t ask for that. He won’t.
Dasom looks disillusioned, like she really did expect better from Jeongguk. “I didn’t think so. You’re not even dating her... She’s your ‘friend’?” she asks.
Jeongguk just looks at her with pursed lips and pinched brows.
“And when you’re not ‘friends’ anymore, Kook?” she asks again, “Are you just going to bring another ‘friend’into Nari’s life for her to get attached to just for them to leave again? And what about when she’s older? Do you want her thinking that’s what women do? Come and go?”
Dasom’s words are exaggerated and extreme– she doesn't know the circumstances between you and him, doesn’t know that it was Nari that introduced you to one another, so waiting to introduce you and his daughter wasn’t an option. And it’s not like Jeongguk is ever going to have a legion of women filtering through his home.
But the point is made all the same.
“No, of course I don’t want that,” he says defeated, as he tilts his head back for a moment, letting his eyes shut.
“Yeah, me either,” she says. Her voice lacks the judgment it held at the beginning of the conversion, being replaced by blasé melancholy. “So I hope she gets it out of your system. Please drop Nari off next Friday, just like always.”
Turning on her heel, Dasom makes to leave before she stops abruptly. She takes a deep breath with her head tilted back, before she’s looking down, like she’s tired. Like the fight with Jeongguk took a lot of her. She pulls a folder from her bag, turning back around and presenting it to Jeongguk.
“For Ri’s speech…” she says softly, “I took her to another speech pathologist yesterday. This one said try doing signs during meals. ‘All done’. ‘More’...” Dasom does the signs haphazardly waving her hands about. “Doctor said it...” She takes a deep breath, and laughs halfheartedly, and Jeongguk can see how she’s tearing up. “Well, like all the other doctor’s we’ve taken her to, they said it may help.”
Her eyes are glassy when she looks at him, and Jeongguk’s heart aches because he knows exactly how she feels.
The anxiety and constant worry you feel over your child’s well-being is one of the hardest things to navigate because you have to keep it together and not let yourself get defeated. You have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes there’s things that, as a parent, you can’t fix, and that sometimes you can do everything right and still have things go wrong– things that may never be able to go right.
He knows that there is an unexplainable guilt, that there’s always that little voice in the back of your head that tells you that maybe if you had done this, then that wouldn’t have happened. It’s a horribly helpless feeling, wanting nothing more than to make things better for your child, and not being able to.
“She’s fine you know,” he says softly, “she’s just taking her time.”
Dasom tries to nod, but she breaks. Her hands come up to cover her quivering chin and quiet her soft cries. She buries her face in her palms as her shoulders tremble.
“Hey, hey,” Jeongguk whispers, reaching out and pulling her to his chest. Her hands are still covering her face, so his arms circle around her as a whole and he rests his chin on her head and lets her cry, his own eyes stinging.
It’s only a minute or two that Dasom weeps against his chest. She’s then pulling away with a deep breath, blowing it out in that soothing way trying to calm herself, trying to regulate her breathing. She laughs, airy like she’s embarrassed, as she taps under her eyes, trying to save her makeup as best she can.
“Ah… sorry about that,” she says, “Haven’t cried in a while so that was bound to happen sometime soon.”
Jeongguk laughs quietly before he muses, “She can say juice now.”
Dasom rolls her eyes playfully. “Yeah… Joofs.”
They both laugh together, for a moment, a few moments, until it tapers off naturally. Leaving soft wistful smiles on their faces.
“Drive safe, Som-ie.”
“Yeah… Joofs.”
The laughter that echoes from Jeongguk’s foyer feels like a punch in the gut after everything that you’ve heard. All the things you felt earlier seem stupid and childish in hindsight.  
And yeah, you don’t blame Jeongguk for staying quiet when Dasom asked if he wanted to commit to you because that’s not something you guys have even touched on, but when he stayed silent as she went on about you just being his ‘friend’? Alluding to you just being a lay for him, just something he needs to ‘get out of his system’? Something disposable and unimportant?
You had at least expected him to defend you.
To tell her that while you may not be his girlfriend, you are important to him. More than a quick lay, more than just a young girl he needs to fuck out of his system. Because you know that’s exactly what she thinks you are. And what she thinks doesn't matter, not really, but if that’s what Jeongguk thinks?
Part of you knows that there’s no way that Jeongguk thinks that. That if he did, this thing between you both would have fizzled out by now or at least been harder to deal with. But that’s never been the case. It’s always been good with him, easy.
If he thought that way, he wouldn’t have been so worried in the beginning and would have instead jumped at the chance to get into your pants. You weren’t exactly subtle back then– there were plenty of opportunities for him to come onto you. But it literally took you throwing yourself at him for him to give in.
So like you know. You know, you know, you know in your heart that it’s not true, that he doesn’t think that little of you.
But his silence was enough to plant a seed of doubt, enough to break a little bit of trust. More than enough to hurt you.
You look down at Nari, and she reaches her hands up wanting to be held. A soft, pitiful laugh falls from your lips and you bend to pick her up.
“Sorry, wasn’t playing with you was I?”
Nari looks at you, studies you with those big eyes of hers. She pats at your cheek, a little roughly, but you can tell she’s trying to be gentle. Her little hand goes from patting to petting, almost like she’s trying to soothe you, like she can tell you’re upset.
“Buu?” she asks.
In reality you have no idea what she’s saying. But it feels like she’s asking if you’re okay, and just like if an adult were to ask you that when you’re close to losing it, close to breaking– it makes you cry.
Not the embarrassing type of cry, but just a tiny cry in front of the sweetest, tiny human. Your eyes just tear up, and your chin trembles a little bit as you try to muster up a small smile, but when you blink a couple tears spill over.
Nari gasps. “Nuuu!” she tells you, before she’s wrapping her tiny bread arms around your neck, clutching onto you like she’s trying to squeeze out all of the sad.
It makes you let out a watery laugh, and you squeeze back, enough so that she croaks a little like a frog. When you pull back she’s giggling in that pure baby way that probably has healing powers or something.
“You are so smart,” you tell her, sniffing a little, trying to get yourself together. You’re not sure if Dasom left yet, or how much longer it will be before Jeongguk comes back, and you don’t want him to know you were crying, or eavesdropping.
She tilts her head at you, then leans in with her lips pulled between her teeth making them pop out when they are against your cheek, a tiny ‘maa’ sounding with her smooch.
“That’s a new type of kiss,” you tell her.
“Sol-mi, Yoongi and Jimin’s daughter, taught her at the party.”
Whipping around at the sound of his voice, you turn and see Jeongguk leaning against the doorway with two glasses of wine in his hands and a sippy cup tucked into his arm. He gives you a soft smile, and you smile back because that’s the only thing you know how to do when you’re with him. Instinctive.
“Hi,” you say.
“Hi,” he says back.
“DAAADAAA!” Nari screeches.
You pull back, wincing for your ear drum, as you let Nari down with an endeared laugh. She toddles over to her dad, tugging on his joggers.
“Hi my babygirl,” he says. Then laughs when she tugs particularly hard, “Hey– you’re gonna pull Daddy’s pants down, quit it.”
“Joofs,” she says, grabby hands reaching for the sippy cup she spotted.
“I see how it is,” he says, handing you your glass and then grabbing the juice, “Didn’t even miss me?”
He manages to sit down without his hands and without squishing his daughter, and you follow suit, watching the daddy-daughter moment unfold, quietly sipping on your wine. Trying your best to push everything else out of your mind, trying to get that almost... safe, warm feeling back. The one that you always get when you’re with Jeongguk. It’s been missing since he came into the room.
“Give Daddy a kiss and then you can have your juice,” he angles his cheek to her and then adds on, “Also say please.” like it’s an afterthought.
You shake your head, smiling, and Jeongguk flicks his eyes to you, mirroring your expression.
“Peeb,” she spouts before she gives him a very quick, rather half-assed kiss. She doesn’t even do the ‘maa’. Her hands open out in front of her, expectant and ready for her drink.
Jeongguk tuts at her, but hands the juice over. “You’re rotten, missy.”
Nari says nothing, just waddles so she's standing in front of him with her back to his face. She plops herself right in his lap, his criss-crossed legs making a perfect Nari-shaped seat. Sipping away with her drink in one hand, her other comes down to Jeongguk’s tattooed arm that he wrapped around her belly. Tracing them with her pudgy little fingers, she tries her best to look down while simultaneously keeping her drink in the proper position.
It’s quiet for a bit, just Nari’s soft drinking noises. You take the moment to get up and grab something from your stuff in Jeongguk’s room, before returning. As you’re walking past Jeongguk back to your spot across from him, you feel his hand tug at the one you have dangling by your side.
You look at him, a small questioning noise sounding.
He pulls, making you bend at the waist getting closer to his level, and when he tilts his head back to look up at you, his eyes flicker to your lips and then he licks his and then he’s craning his neck and then he’s kissing you softly.
It’s fleeting but it's sweet. It makes the warm feeling settle in your heart again, just for a moment before it hides away, somewhere within you. Your eyes dart to Nari. Kisses usually being reserved for alone time.
He shakes his head. “It’s alright… Sorry that happened while you were here… Me and Dasom usually communicate better than that.”
You take a seat next to him and Nari, careful of his wine glass. “It’s okay…”
Gazes meet for a few seconds looking over the other like you’re both trying to figure something out. Things different from the ‘different’ you felt earlier. This different feels like something is off; the first one felt like a dream. Maybe it was.
“Okay,” he replies lightly, but he sounds unsure, like he doesn't know if it actually is ‘okay’. His eyes drop to the small bag that you brought into the room. “Whatcha got?”
You tell him you got Nari something for her birthday, nothing big but just something that reminded you of her. You ask him if it’s okay to give it to her.
He says of course, why wouldn’t it be?
For some reason the tiny exchange hurts.
Lacking an answer, you pinch at the little fat roll on Nari’s thigh, her tiny jean shorts putting all the chub on display. She looks up at you, and you raise the bag and shake it a little. Her smile grows as she realizes it's for her. Jeongguk is abandoned, your lap now occupied.
“She has no loyalty at all,” Jeongguk says.
“She’s just making as many allies as she can, and I think that is very smart of her,” you defend, watching as Nari plucks tissue paper after tissue paper out of the bag (with only one small hand, the other still holding her juice), until she’s squealing. Your face lights up at her enthusiasm, and hers lights up at the toy, and you don’t see it, but Jeongguk’s lights up at you both.
You’ve been good with her since that day you found her at your work, and Jeongguk notices when you go out of your way to ask about her, to be kind to her, patient with her... to take care of her. Never once have you treated her like she was a burden, or an inconvenience.
He sees the way that Nari is with you, too.
Sees how happy she gets when you walk in his front door, how she always shares her things with you in that sweet way that babies do when they like someone. She even asks about you when you don't come around for a few days. A babbled version of your name peeping from her little lips.
It’s no secret that his baby has grown attached to you, come to love you. Dasom’s words ring in his ears. The thing she said about Nari getting used to someone he brings into her life, just for them to not be permanent.  
A medium sized, pink, stuffed Narwhal is pulled from the bag by the horn, and Nari swings it to the side to show her dad, just for a moment, before she’s squeezing it to her chest. She’s cooing, kinda nuzzling into it.
“Ba buuu,” she says softly, eyes still on the gift like it's something wondrous, rather than just a small plush. Jeongguk grows soft and your heart squeezes in your chest. The warmth comes back, flickers before going out again.
“What is it?” Jeongguk asks around a sip of his wine.
“A narwhal. You know, Nar-i, Nar-whal.”
His mouth twitches, fighting a smile, but he just nods. Until he can’t hold his laughter in anymore, making you laugh too by consequence. Easy.
The little crows feet at the corners of his eyes make an appearance and he scrunches his nose at you as he quiets. His hair is still just a little bit damp. “It’s cute,” he amends. “You didn’t have to get her anything, but thank you for thinking about her.”
The smile on his lips is tiny, but you can tell it’s genuine. Without laughter lightning up his face, you realize how tired he looks, warn out.
“Are you okay?” you say, arms raising so Nari is able to get up, making her way to her other toys, the narwhal tucked into her side. She grabs a babydoll, holds it to the narwhal and makes them move around like she’s introducing her toys.
Jeongguk sighs, and leans back on his hands. “Just wasn’t expecting that, is all… I get stressed when things don’t go as planned.”
“That’s why you broke out the wine in the middle of the day?” you ask with a teasing tone.
He rolls his eyes playfully. “One glass won’t hurt…”
The doorbell cuts off your reply. The food’s here.
The headboard behind Jeongguk’s back is hard, just like he is under you.
But his touches are soft, just like his kisses.
You’re straddling him, your hips just barely rocking over him as you lick into his mouth. Mewl against his lips. Hands in his hair, not pulling, but just twining your fingers in his locks, keeping him close.
It’s slow, unhurried and gentle. When he brings his palms to your chest over his shirt, he feels how your nipples pebble through the material as he squeezes, rolls them in his hands. So responsive to his touch, you pull away for just a moment to breathe out a pleased sigh before giving him a few cute pecks. Pushing into your lips, he deepens the kisses, his tongue teasing the seam of your lips until you open up for him.
He feels young again, like he’s making out with his crush, heavy petting because they are too scared to go all the way, but too into each other to not give in just a little. He hasn’t felt this way in so long. You gasp into his mouth when he pinches your nipple between his fingertips. His cock pulses, but his heart clenches.
It’s like reality is finally catching up to him. Reminding him that you and him were never supposed to get in so deep, were never supposed to get so entangled in each other’s lives. Fun and casual. That’s what it’s supposed to be. But it’s so much more than that now. At least for him it is.
His heart clenches because he’s not young anymore, but you still are.
The baby monitor that goes off with hiccuping cries just confirms his feelings.
“Sorry,” he says against your lips, his hands moving to your hips, squeezing before he helps maneuver you off of him.
“Bring her back in here,” you suggest.
Jeongguk pauses, twisting to crack his back. “You sure?”
You hum, “Yeah, wanna hang out with you both.”
And again his heart pulls, but he nods with a soft smile and a quick kiss before he’s hurrying out of the room.
Hands scrub over your face as you wait for him, your head knocking against the headboard. You purposefully focus on playing a game on your phone while you wait, refusing to let your thoughts loop incessantly around your brain.
It's a little while when Jeongguk walks back in with Nari on his hip. The sight makes you coo.
Nari’s looking around like she’s still a little out of it, her tiny round body in a light pink nightie covered in little bunnies sleeping on clouds and moons. Instead of her hair being in her trademark little ponies, it’s down, falling in messy little wisps around her face. The narwhal is clutched in her tiny hand by the horn and when she sees you, she blinks a few times before she smiles around the paci in her mouth.
“Hi sweet girl,” you say, when Jeongguk places her on the bed.
She tries to walk over to you, but the bed is soft and she’s very much still tired so she stumbles, hits the mattress with a small oof and an airy little giggle. Crawling the rest of the way she sits herself next to you, puts her plush in her lap.
“Think someone had a bad dream,” Jeongguk says around a yawn, taking his spot on the bed. “Also sorry it took a second, had to change her pull up.”
You hum, your hand coming up to pet at her hair, dark, silky, and baby scented.
“Wanna watch something, boba?” Jeongguk asks, laying himself on his side, one hand propped under his head, the other on the remote.
Nari nods, hunkers down in the fluffy pillow behind her. She looks at you and pats the sheets, as if telling you to lay down like her and her Daddy. Of course you listen.
It’s calm and quiet, just the children’s show playing in the background that you all are watching. You and Jeongguk half heartedly, Nari with round eyes. She lets out little laughs every now and then, her blinks slow and heavy. Jeongguk’s got a hand resting on Nari’s tummy and her little hand holds onto his thumb.
The scene is domestic.
“She doesn’t have nightmares often, does she?” you ask quietly.
Jeongguk glances at you, shakes his head. “Not here at least.”
“Has she always been a co sleeper?”
Jeongguk shakes his head again. “Not till after the divorce,” he says. “And I wouldn’t say she still co sleeps… most nights she sleeps on well on her own. I just don’t tell her no if she wants to come into my room.”
At the mention of the divorce your brain begins to whirl.
It’s not something he brings up often, and it’s never really bothered you. But after today, after you saw and heard how he and his ex interacted… It makes you curious. They seem to get along decently well, and they both clearly love Nari.
You sound a bit timid when you ask, “Why did you guys split up?”
Jeongguk’s quiet, doesn’t acknowledge that he heard you even though you know that he did. You worry that you’ve said something wrong, and you’re about to apologize but he speaks up.
“I’ll tell you… just getting my thoughts in order.”
Jeongguk stares down at the teeny, tiny baby in the bassinet. The light pink of the skirt at the bottom matches the accents on the walls of her nursery.
Her big eyes are watching the fairy mobile, big felt flowers dangling above her, the softest baby coos leaving her mouth every once in a while. She was already up when he got home from work.
When he puts his hand inside the baby bed and extends one of his fingers petting at her small hand, the baby jumps a little like she didn’t know he was there, but recognition is instant and she smiles up at him, her tiny fingers clutching around his.
“Hi miss Nari,” he says quietly, “How long have you been up, hmm? Bout time for some milk isn’t it?”
She blows a bubble up at him.
His heart swells as he picks her up, a big hand supporting her head as he pulls her to his chest. A detour to the changing table precedes his walk to the living room, where his wife is sat cross legged on the floor, papers and her laptop scattered in front of her on the coffee table. The video baby monitor is propped up as well.
“Hi honey,” Jeongguk says.
Dasom looks over her shoulder, sees the two of them and smiles. “Hey, how was work? And how’s our baby?” She types something on her laptop.
“Baby is good and work was work. Remember how I said we are thinking of setting up another branch?” Jeongguk asks, swaying a little with his cheek resting on Nari’s head. She smells like baby and Dasom hums in acknowledgement. “My brother finally got me a list of locations, so just a lot of assigning scouts to scope them out and budgeting for the cost of their travel.”
“That’s great, babe,” Dasom says.
Jeongguk watches her for a few more moments, as she flips through the papers like she’s looking for something. He walks around, so that he can sit in the loveseat off to the side, adjusts Nari so that she’s cradled in the bend of his arm. “What are you doing?” he asks.
“Just reviewing everything that’s happened at the office over the last few months…” She flicks her eyes to him.
Jeongguk frowns. “You still have two and a half weeks before you have to go back, don’t you?”
“Yeah, wanna be prepared though.”
Nari starts to wiggle in his arms, fussy. “Did you ever see if you could get a few more weeks since you guys were in the hospital for so long? That’s hardly a leave, if you ask me.”
She laughs lightly. “That’s true. But I don’t think it’s necessary? She’s doing really well, and I think that that Montessori nursery will be good for her.”
Tension fills Jeongguk’s body. “I thought we talked about letting Yeoreum watch her when you go back to work.”
“Well yes. We talked about it– but we didn’t commit to–”
“We didn’t commit to Montessori either–”
“What benefits is Nari getting if we do that?” Dasom says, finally giving Jeongguk her full attention. “No offense to Jin’s wife, but it’s not like she’s certified to care for newborns.”
“She’s a mother, Som. A very good one, she knows how to care for a baby. And Nari would be the only baby she’s taking care of so it’s one on one attention and it’s someone we know and trust so–”
“Montessori has curriculum, and it teaches children to be independent–”
“She’s a baby! She doesn’t need to be independent. She needs to be–”
Nari’s fussiness has escalated, her tiny cries filling the living room. Jeongguk starts rocking her, shushing her with soft coos. He tries the pacifier attached to her onesie, but she just pushes it out, crying louder.
“She’s hungry,” Jeongguk says, getting to his feet so he can hand her to her mom.
“I pre-pumped when she was napping earlier. There’s a bottle with 6.5 ounces in the fridge.”
Picking his battles and barely suppressing a frustrated sigh, he walks to the kitchen and places the bottle in the warmer. Nari’s cries continue to sound as he waits, bouncing her a little, rubbing her back.
Back in the loveseat, he tries to give Nari her dinner but she’s grumpy, turning her head or pushing the nipple out of her mouth, growing angrier by the minute, her tiny body turning red from how hard she’s crying.
“She’s not taking the bottle, I think she–”
“Is it warm enough?”
“Yes, I think she wants you.”
Nari’s mom looks over the top of her laptop and nods. “I’m just about done–”
“Dasom, please,” Jeongguk says, “She’s hungry and she wants her mom.”
Almost like a fog clears, Dasom’s face falls before she’s nodding hastily. “Yeah, yeah… I’m sorry I– bring her to me.”
As soon as Nari’s in her mom’s arms she quiets some, and once Dasom holds her close and starts to feed her it’s serene again. Nari’s little hand opens and closes rhythmically, until her mom gives her her finger, like Jeongguk did early. Ever since she came home from the hospital, she’s liked to hold hands.
“I’m sorry,” Dasom whispers again, without looking at Jeongguk. He can hear the guilt in her voice.
He tells her it's okay and that he’s going to shower.
Later when Nari’s down for the night and he and his wife are laying in bed, Dasom apologizes again. Tells Jeongguk that she was just stressed with preparing for work and juggling the baby.
“Som-ie, that reminds me, I was thinking…”
She turns to look at him from his side of the bed, smiling. “Not too hard, hopefully.”
“Ha-ha,” he says, unamused. He continues nervously, like he’s walking on eggshells. “But I was thinking– what if you took off for the first year or so?”
The shift in atmosphere is instant. Dasom goes stiff in her spot next to him, and she says silent.
“I only say it because we would be fine, you know?” He tries to explain, “My job brings in more than enough for us to be okay, and if you just stayed home with her, you could teach her the way that you want and I would get the peace of mind knowing that she’s safe with someone I love and trust. We would solve the daycare dilemma…”
Still, his wife says nothing, her brows furrowed.
“And you wouldn’t be so stressed…” Jeongguk continues, “you wouldn’t have to worry about work on top of being a mom… You would never miss any of her firsts and–”
“When we talked about having a baby, I told you I didn’t want to be one of those moms.”
Dasom’s voice is upset, her tone hard.
“I know, I know,” Jeongguk says softly, “But it wouldn’t be for forever. Just until she’s older… I read that companies will give extended leaves sometimes, kind of like a sabbatical.”
She laughs in disbelief, “How long have you been thinking about this? I’m not taking an extended leave, or a sabbatical, or a hiatus or whatever it is you’ve been researching, Jeongguk. I worked so hard to get to where I am,” she closes her eyes like she’s trying to stay calm, “You can’t ask me to throw that away.”
“That’s not what I’m asking–”
“But it is!” she exclaims, “Even being gone for 3 months has already put me back. My position isn’t one that can stay open for extended periods of time. And that means if I take off for even just a year– it’ll be given to someone else. Someone else will come into what I built and either reap the benefits or ruin it.”
Jeongguk stays quiet, looking at the pattern of the duvet over his lap.
It’s softer when Dasom speaks up again. “If that’s the kind of mother you want me to be– the kind that has no substance, or passions, or goals outside of being a mom– then… you may as well get the papers.”
Jeongguk’s head snaps up, his expression shocked and confused. “Divorce? Why is that the first thing your mind goes to?”
Dasom runs her hands through her hair, pressing the heels of her palms against her temples. “I’m not gonna bend on this, Kook.”
And it was almost like when the idea of divorce was spoken into existence, it was something that hung over them, like a curse that took only 7 months to come true.
“Dasom is a good mom,” Jeongguk says slowly, “We just parent very differently.”
You stay quiet, waiting for him to continue, adjusting yourself so that you’re looking at him.
“That’s the root of it, really. We couldn’t agree on anything when it came to Nari. And obviously we talked about things before she was born, and had a loose idea of how we wanted to raise her…” He stops for a moment to think.
“It’s just so different when they are born, like you think you know what it means to be a parent but you really don’t. Not until it’s already happened and they are in your arms and you’re searching for a daycare and coming across horror stories about the workers abusing the kids. Or thinking about how it wouldn’t be the end of the world if she doesn’t talk but also knowing how much harder her life will be if she doesn’t.”
You can feel a heaviness cloud the room. Jeongguk is so good at keeping this part of himself tucked away, good at putting on a brave face that when you look at him and see him looking down at his baby with worried, furrowed brows, your heart aches.
“And it led to a lot of really bad fights and it just got to a point where one day I decided I wouldn’t raise a baby in a home that was tumultuous.”
“What did you guys argue about?” you ask softly.
Jeongguk gives you a sad smile. “More like what didn’t we argue about. Daycare… But I’ll admit I agreed to it before she was born and then changed my mind... Her speech, how to deal with tantrums, where she slept, what she ate. I think Dasom’s too tough, she thinks I’m too soft…” he taps his fingers on Nari’s belly, “She thinks I’m part of the reason why she doesn’t talk. That because I dote on her, Nari thinks that she doesn’t need to use words so she just doesn’t.”
Your brows furrow. “Babies hit milestones at different rates, my cousin didn’t talk at all until he was three… Taking care of her isn’t hindering her development.”
“Thank you,” he says, quietly. “I think she’s starting to understand that too, as we keep getting outside opinions…”
He falls silent and you can tell he’s sad, his hand coming up to push Nari’s hair off of her forehead, the baby now sleeping, her round tummy expanding as she takes deep breaths. You feel bad, having brought the tense atmosphere on with your questions.
“Nari’s so smart, Gguk,” you say, kind of hasty, eager to make him feel better. “Like earlier I was upset, and she just knew… she’s so emotionally intelligent and has such a pure heart–”
“You were upset earlier?” Jeongguk asks, his gaze questioning as he looks at you.
Your mouth opens and closes like you’re trying to find the right words, but none will come out.
“Why were you upset?” he asks again, genuine worry on his face.
And just like a few hours ago, when you felt like Nari was asking you if you were okay; when Jeongguk asks you why you were upset, tears begin to well in your eyes.
At the sight of tearing up, Jeongguk sits up gingerly trying to not wake Nari, but also be attentive at the same time. “Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me…”
You sit up too, looking at Jeongguk for a moment before looking down at your hands in your lap. A tear lands on your skin when you blink, and you take a deep breath before you say, “I… I heard you earlier…”
His face pulls into one of confusion. “Me and Dasom?”
Your head tilts back, and you sound exasperated when you say, “Who else?”
Jeongguk thinks for a moment, goes over what he and his ex talked about, remembers her being a bit touchy about your age, and then he thinks he gets it. His features soften as he says, “Don’t listen to her… seeing you just caught her off guard, she–”
You give a hopeless watery laugh, turning to look at him with sad eyes. “It’s not what she said, it’s what you didn’t say.”
And once again confusion takes over his features, his mind trying to comprehend how and why something he never even said could hurt you to the point of you sniffling in his bed, your eyes begging him to get it. He feels bad when he says, “I don’t understand?”
It was never in the plan for you to be the girl that’s crying about why a man did or didn’t do something– that’s never been who you are. You’ve never really cared enough to get upset, you’ve always been independent, just cutting your losses and moving on.
But with Jeongguk, cutting your losses feels a lot like cutting out part of your heart, and you don’t think you’ll make it if you do that. One can live with half their lungs, only one of their kidneys… but no one ever lasts long when part of their heart goes missing. Jeongguk has become vital to you.
“Jeongguk,” you whisper, “What are we doing?”
Maybe it’s unfair of you to ask him something like that, when you both agreed to something carefree, no strings attached. But you think that falling in love with someone is a lot like how Jeongguk described being a parent: You think you know what it means, but you really don’t. Not until it’s already happened.
Because that’s what felt different prior to opening that door and letting doubt in with the breeze. Everything felt warmer, easier, safer, better because it was laced with the realization that you love Jeongguk.
His face has fallen when you look at him, waiting for his reply. The corners of his lips are down turned, and his brows are turned up. He begins to shake his head softly, his mouth parting a few times before he’s raising his shoulders in a hopeless way.
“I– I don’t know anymore,” he whispers back.
That’s the answer you expected, but it still makes you exhale pain, like his words knock the wind out of you. It’s shaky when you catch your breath, but you nod.
“I think I should leave for tonight,” you tell him, starting to push his comforter to the side.
Jeongguk feels his heart start to race, and he reaches out for you, his hand landing on your shoulder. “What? Right now? It’s the middle of the night– don’t– it’s–”
“If you don’t want me to leave,” you interrupt him, “then we need to talk.”
His mouth snaps shut and he rolls his lips between his teeth like he’s thinking. He glances at the baby sleeping between you, and gives you a quick nod. “Yeah, okay… Just not here, I don’t want her waking up again… let me get the monitor from her room. I’ll meet you in the living room.”
Nodding wordlessly, you slip out of the room.
You’re pacing lightly, in nothing but his shirt that hits high on your thigh and a pair of panties, when Jeongguk comes out. He’s still shirtless, but he pulled on some joggers before leaving the room. One hand is pushing his hair back like he’s stressed, and the other is holding the baby monitor. He places it on the counter, and turns to you. A sad smile is offered, and you give him one back because it’s instinct.
It seems like neither of you know where to begin, both just breathing heavy in the artificial light. You take a deep breath.
“I wanted you to defend me,” you admit.
Jeongguk stays quiet, but his brows pinch.
“Or maybe like… defend us…” Embarrassment creeps into your bones.
“Defend us over what?” he asks. He doesn’t sound like he’s being dense, but like he actually doesn’t know.
Sighing, you say, “The way she talked about me, Gguk… She said I was something you needed to ‘get out of your system’... just a friend you fuck that’s disposable and unimportant and–”
“You know that’s not true,” he interjects.
“Yeah I do. Why didn’t you tell her that?” You can feel the first licks of anger in your chest, your voice coming out harsher than you intend. “Why did you let her talk about me like I’m just some stupid kid that doesn’t know what she wants? Like you don’t know what you want?”
Jeongguk thinks about it, realizes the answer is quite simple.
“Because I don’t know what I want, and I don’t think that you know what you want either.”
You look taken aback, and anger colors your features. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that this turned into something it was never supposed to and now we don’t know how to navigate it or what we want from each other anymore,” Jeongguk explains, trying to keep the sadness out of his voice.
It’s true and it’s not at the same time. Because Jeongguk knows what he wants, at least to some extent, but he knows he can’t have it. Meaning that if he can’t have what he wants, he doesn’t know what he wants instead of that. And he supposes he can’t speak for you, but he doesn’t correct himself, instead says, “We’re in too deep, __… I care about you.”
It doesn’t sound like much, but you know what he means… know that it’s a confession of some sort.
Tentative hope bubbles in your chest at his words, and you take a few steps closer to him. “That’s not a bad thing, I care too. We both care so we can–” you pause, and look up at him. “We can just take the next step or something, right?”
Jeongguk smiles softly, and his hands come up to cup your face and it’s warm again, and it’s safe when you’re in his palms and when he’s kissing you. Your hands come up to just hold at his wrists, eyes shutting, and it’s sweet again and–
“It’s not that simple, baby…”
–and it’s over.
“There’s something that Dasom said that’s true.”
And you know it’s childish but you shake your head in his hands and tears begin to brim. She ruined everything. She planted that seed of doubt in both your heads, and she’s the reason why Jeongguk doesn’t feel safe anymore and why his hands aren’t warm and why everything is falling apart. You squeeze your eyes shut and scrunch your brows together, a few tears spilling over. “I don’t want to talk about her,” you whisper.
He smiles, a sad curve to his lips. “I know, you don’t... But we both need to hear it… We don’t agree on a lot when it comes to Nari, but she was right when she said that thing about people coming into Nari’s life and then leaving after she gets attached. That’s not fair to Nari and it was selfish of me to let it happen.”
“How do you know I’m just going to leave?” you ask.
“Because I’m not going to let you stay,” Jeongguk whispers, his thumb wiping away the tears that have already started to flow.
Words don’t even come to you, because of how badly it hurts. And you’re doing your best to keep it as together as you can because you aren’t pathetic. You’re not going to beg him to let you stay but you want to understand why. Your voice cracks when you ask him.
“You’re too young, __. And I’m not saying that’s why I don’t think you know what you want… But I don’t think you know what being with me long term means, and what you would be missing out on… I’m not going to trap you, it’ll just lead to you resenting me,” he says gently. His hands have left your face, and he walks around a little like he’s trying to gather his thoughts. “And there’s just so much that I have to balance. I don’t know if I have room or the time–”
It feels like a slap in the face. How did everything change so quickly from this morning?
“There was room in your bed for me,” you interrupt him, bitter pain lacing your words. “You had time to fuck me.”
He winces. “You know I didn’t mean it like that,” he tells you gently, “I just meant… I think I need to think about things, reevaluate my priorities–”
It sounds a lot like what you said earlier, when you were under him, taunting him with kisses.
You hum, “I just think you need to reevaluate your priorities, maybe.”
“And what do you think my priorities should be, __?” he whispers, eyes searching your face, lingering on your lips, a fond look coloring his features.
“Well, right now,” you start, looping your arms around his neck, “I think you should really focus on that plank, and on that kiss you’re dying to give me.”
And god, you wish you could go back. Wish you could rewind and just replay everything up until the doorbell rang. But you can’t because the reality of the situation is that this was always going to end.
Jeongguk has his mind made up. The fear of you leaving him and Nari and the fear of you resenting him if you stayed are inevitable feelings that he would have realized eventually. He has priorities and if he doesn’t change the way he thinks, it won’t ever work because–
“Because I’m not one of them…” you realize quietly. He cares, but not enough.
Jeongguk’s composure breaks and it’s written all over his face, how much it hurts him to hurt you, even if it’s not intentional. “I’m sorry,” he says, and it sounds desperate like he’s yearning for you to know that he means it. “But it’s a