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#jungkook oneshot
jkeuphoriadreamland · 22 hours ago
Irresistible⤞ pt. 3
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⤞ Pairing: Hybrid Maknae line x reader ft. Hoseok ⤞ Genre: Hybrid!au, Smut, 18+ M, 5.6k words ⤞ Summary: You weren’t supposed to be theirs, and they weren’t supposed to find you so irresistible ⤞ Warnings: possessiveness, sexual tension, mentions of abuse and experimentation, mentions of infertility, mentions of human adoptions/ownership, allusion to human abuse, masturbation, slight somnophilia?, heavy making out, scenting, heavy pining, heats, jealousy, teasing, mentions of suppressants. ⤞ A/N: Thank you once again to my wifey @outromoni​​ for her ridiculous talent. All credit goes to her for the banner. This one is a little longer <3
pt.1 - pt.2 - pt.3
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Taehyung stood in his office staring out the window wondering what in the hell he was going to do about you. Even though Jungkook told him that he would get rid of you, he knew better. Kookie couldn’t give up anything. Once his mind was set on something, it became an obsession.
The issue wasn’t just that he had a human in his home, but the fact that he worked for an agency that received reports on rogue criminal humans. His job was to collect data and then send it to the authorities. If anyone knew he was harboring a human illegally, he’d be fired, or worse. There were huge fines and penalties he could face, and that was the last thing he needed on his record. Taehyung had plans to be promoted and this wouldn’t look good at all.
Because he had access to the databases, he had an idea of where most of these humans hid and attempted to live. The problem was, those areas were never safe, and Tae knew that no matter where you tried to hide, you’d be caught. In some cases things would go well for the human and they’d be returned to their original center by the proper authorities, but sometimes some of those hybrids were corrupt, and bad things happened to humans, especially the females.
Of course Taehyung was against this. In a way, he would protect these humans by finding them before they ended up getting killed in the streets, and he tried his best to keep them from the corrupt authorities, but the paperwork was insane, and sometimes he couldn’t catch it all. Thankfully, he didn’t work alone in this department. There were many hardworking hybrids that wanted to make a difference by seeking out some semblance of peace between the two species, and then there were some who went way above their pay grade.
His colleague, Jung Hoseok was incredible at the job, heck, even better than Tae-- sometimes a little too by the rulebook. He was a beagle hybrid, making him the best at tracking and hunting. If anybody knew what to do with an escaped human, it would be him. Although Tae and Hoseok were colleagues, they weren’t really close friends. Part of Tae hesitated to even come to him, but he really had no other choice.
“Hey, Hoseok. How’s it going?” Knocking at his door, Tae stepped inside before he was even greeted.
“Fine, Tae. Why are you in my office?”
“Oh, nothing really. So how’s the wife?”
Hoseok eyed Taehyung and continued to type, a little annoyed that hybrids only ever came to him when they needed something. “Just spill it, Taehyung. What do you want?”
Tae rolled his eyes and then sat at the chair directly in front of his desk. “Okay, so…let’s say I have this case where...this human I believe it was in a center for adoption and...well...I think...”
“Well, let’s say that maybe…ohhh I don’t know…”
“Oh my god. JUST SAY IT.”
Taehyung chuckled and tried to calm himself a bit. He didn’t want “Mr. Rulebook” to get a whiff of his nerves. Sometimes it sucked being a hybrid. “Well, let’s say a human was stolen from a center and now has nowhere to go. Technically the human isn’t a criminal because they didn’t run away, but they are currently homeless and need a safe place to go to.”
“Send them back to the center,” Hobi spoke with certitude.
“It’s not that simple. The hybrid that took it could be problematic and maybe doesn’t want to return it to the center because it’s being abused. I--”
“Really? Since when do we care about humans? If they were stolen, they should be returned. Who is this hybrid criminal so I can report them to the proper authorities? Ownership of a human illegally is a crime.”
Taehyung froze, realizing that maybe this was a mistake. He could tell Hobi was already set off by the way the pup’s tail wagged behind him. “There’s no one. It was all hypothetical. I just wanted to test your skills. Anyway, I gotta go make some calls.”
“Test my skills? Yeah, sure.” Hobi looked up finally, only because the feline that just left his office was giving off high levels of stress. “Whatever you say, Tae.” He continued to type once again, but his mind was suddenly restless. There was something Taehyung wasn’t telling him and he would find out one way or another what this “hypothetical scenario” was really about.
The second night drew upon the hybrid home quickly and this time Jungkook had made up his mind about letting you sleep on the bed. He’d take the couch or something instead- regardless of your refusal. And so just like clockwork, he showered and then it was your turn. While you were gone, he made himself busy preparing the bed for you and grabbed his own items quickly making his way to the couch. The moment he walked out into the hall, you crashed into him.
Jungkook almost popped a vein in frustration. You were wearing one of his shirts again with legs exposed. The fact that you were this incredibly sexy and you didn’t know it boggled his mind. Not to mention, his hyungs were in the house somewhere and he wouldn’t be very happy if they saw what he was currently seeing.
“Oh, I’m sorry again. I forgot my pants in the room. I keep forgetting stuff. I’m not very used to…”
“___, it’s okay...just...please just go in the room.” He didn’t want to say it, but every second that you stood in front of him he could smell you. He could smell all of you. Perhaps it was a good idea for him to sleep elsewhere. The night before he struggled to close his eyes, your proximity making his heart beat erratically and body overheat to a level that could rival hell.
“Where are you going, Jungkook?”
“I’m just going to the couch. You take the bed.”
He tried to move away and end the conversation there, but you grabbed him by his upper arm and his instinctual reaction was to flex.
“No. I won’t sleep on your bed. It’s your room and… you’ve been nothing but nice to me...and…”
Your mouth was moving, but Jungkook’s hybrid hearing caught the door of Jimin’s room opening instead, so he pushed you back into the room and shut the door hastily. “I’m sorry. It’s just that, I told you to get in the room but you never listen to me. You’re always so stubborn and you drive me up the wall...I…” Jungkook huffed out and ran a hand through his hair, accidentally brushing over his sensitive ears. When he glanced back up, he saw you were wearing a pout, your hands fisting the hem of your shirt tightly.
“Hey, I’m sorry. Please don’t be upset. I’m not yelling ...I’m just really trying. I want you to take the bed, okay? Please take the bed?”
For a moment it seemed like you would agree, but then your eyes grew bright, and out of your mouth came a compromise.
“Okay, I’ll sleep on the bed, but only if you share it with me. That way we both get what we want.”
In a way it most certainly was what Jungkook wanted, but not for the reasons you were suggesting. He could say no and walk out, but he was sure you’d follow, giving Jimin something to gawk at. But if he said yes, you would be quiet and settle down just as he wanted. Your ignorance to the hybrid species really was problematic.
Rubbing his neck in frustration, he hesitantly accepted, “Fine.”
He walked out to let you finish getting dressed while he waited outside. The way he was standing in front of the door looking like a stressed out mess wasn’t missed by Jimin. Passing by him with a giggle, he mocked the younger male with his eyes. “Trouble in paradise?”
“Stopppp, hyung! I’m just waiting for her to get dressed.”
“If you say so. Was she just out here?”
“Yeah, why?”
“No reason.”
Jimin walked off and held his breath until he reached the bathroom. Once inside, he took in a deep breath regretting it instantly. Your scent was even more potent in this room and his own senses were on edge now that your presence was prominent in the home. He didn’t tell anyone about it because he knew Jungkook would be jealous and Tae would be upset, but the truth was, he too was struggling. At first it wasn’t so bad, probably due to Jungkook’s overpowering pheromones covering your scent, but now that the bunny was more calm and focused on you, Jimin couldn’t ignore it.
“Just wait a little longer. She won’t be with us forever.” Jimin whispered to himself. He was always pretty reserved, controlling his heats and taking his medication as he should. There was really no need to worry since he hadn’t been in a relationship in a long while, but now that there was a physical female leaving her scent everywhere, his heat was starting to overpower him. He was going to have to be strong for Jungkook and for himself as well. Turning on the shower, he stripped himself of his clothes and stepped in, hand already on his cock. This was going to be a long wait.
Taehyung showed up to work the next day more exhausted than he’s ever been in his life. As a lion hybrid, he tended to sleep well, never dwelling on too many stressors because he liked handling his problems right then and there, but last night, something was going on with him that he couldn’t explain.
His body heat was at a level he wasn’t used to, and he was upset the suppressants weren’t working. No hybrid would go without taking them until they met a mate that could help with their physical needs, but last night, Tae found himself struggling immensely. He never missed a dose, but there he was in the middle of the night jerking himself to orgasm so that he could finally fall asleep. He could excuse Jungkook’s behavior since he never actually started taking suppressants. The bunny had never shown symptoms of heat before meeting you, so there was nothing to worry about, but Tae had no excuse.
And even in the morning, while he was getting ready to go to work, he felt it start up again. He was glad that when he walked into his office the feeling had already subsided. Finding his desk, he sat and sighed heavily and then noticed a sticky note. Recognizing the handwriting, he realized Hoseok had been in his office. He should have gotten the scent of the other right away, but his head was still fuzzy from the stress his body was under.
“Come and see me.” Tae snickered and rolled up the paper, tossing it into the trash without even looking. It was funny to him that Hoseok would try to figure things out even though he knew nothing about the situation at hand. But Tae wasn’t going to lie. This tiny piece of paper did make him feel a small amount of panic because he knew Hobi, and when the pup got obsessed about something, he saw it through. Deciding to see how committed the dog hybrid really was, Tae decided to pay him a visit.
“So, what’s got your panties in a twist, pup?”
“Don’t call me that. You know how I hate it.”
“That’s exactly why I do it. Stop leaving garbage on my desk. Obviously cats are cleaner, so I can’t keep cleaning up your messes, woofy.”
Hobi growled and Tae smirked victoriously. He got the reaction he wanted and now that he felt his ego inflate, he was able to mask his true fear.
“Why did you want to see me?”
Hoseok didn’t even attempt to hide his disdain as he continued working on his computer as usual. “So, your “scenario” got me thinking the other day. I remember hearing about a break-in at some human center, so I did a little digging.”
Taehyung started counting backwards from ten. There was no way he would give Hobi what he was looking for. “Oh yeah? This is why you asked for me to come here? I have things to do, Hob-ah.”
“There’s more. It seems there was a break in and a human was indeed taken. There is some video footage.”
Taehyung felt his heart stop and his breath quicken. Fuck fuck fuck. Of course Jungkook would be sloppy. How the hell was he going to protect the stupid bunny now?
“Yeah. Problem is. The angles were all off and I wasn’t able to see the perpetrator. I do, however, think it’s a hare breed.”
“What makes you say that?” Tae didn’t mean for the slight crack in his voice to happen, but he pretended like it was just a cough and leaned forward curiously.
“Take a look.” Hobi turned the computer screen, and there, in black and white was the tip of Jungkook’s ear, the very one he’s seen droop or perk up depending on the emotions the little one was feeling.
“Really, Hobi? That’s what has you all worked up? The tip of an ear that could belong to any hybrid species? I really need to get back to work. Please stay outta my office.”
With that, he shut the door and walked off, holding back his anxiety for as long as he could. Things were getting to be a bit too dangerous, and for whatever reason, he was also feeling a bit more territorial than usual. He wishes he could say it was over Jungkook, but most of what he was feeling was for you. You’d only been in the house for two days and already Taehyung wanted to rip the throat of anyone who threatened you. He had a lot to do in order to wipe away the evidence from that video footage and any suspicion Hobi had about a silly hybrid bunny breaking into a human holding center.
The rain continued to pound heavily even as Jimin arrived home. It was almost time for dinner, and he kept glancing out of the window wondering when Tae would arrive. The big cat hated getting wet and it was going to be funny seeing him soaked through. Jungkook was in his room busy working, and you were in there too. Jimin knew something was going down between the two of you, but he didn’t want to pry. Everything had been so tense lately, and he didn’t blame the bunny’s behavior. If it were him sharing a room with you, he’d be stressed out too.
Feeling a little worried, he was about to go check on you both, when the front door opened with a bang.
Snickering, Jimin walked over and helped the cranky tiger remove his wet jacket, taking his umbrella as well. “Because, the rain knows how much you love it.” Handing him a towel, Jimin set the items down so as to not wet the floor. He couldn’t help but giggle at the way Tae’s hair was sticking on end after the tiger dried it.
“Dinner will be ready soon. I’m going to go check on Jungkook.”
“Yeah, okay.” Taehyung grumbled.
Jimin continued towards his destination trying to suppress a laughing fit. His friend really was the grumpiest cat in the world. When he reached Jungkook’s door, he took a deep breath and then released it.
“Dinner is ready.”
He knocked on the wooden surface, but there was no answer. He knocked again, only to hear silence. Starting to feel actual panic, he decided to enter. “I’m coming in, Koo.” Opening the door, he finds the both of you snuggled up together on the bed asleep. The computer Jungkook uses for school sat on the desk and papers were strewn about. It seemed that the young bunny got tired and fell asleep, but he couldn’t explain why you and he were in the bed together.
“Bun bun…” Jimin whispered, but he only got a light groan in response. After a few taps on his shoulder, Jungkook opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was you. Jolting back he realized what had awoken him.
“Hey, you. Dinner is ready. Maybe you should wake your cute little sleeping buddy too?”
“She’s not my--!”
Their ridiculous attempts at whispering did nothing but wake you from your slumber. The first thing you noticed was the sweet look from Jimin, but Jungkook’s confused face had you sitting up quickly and scooting back against the wall. “Sorry...I got tired too and ...the bed looked so comfy…”
“No need to explain, darling. Jungkook is pretty comfy. Aren’t you, bun?”
Jungkook gave Jimin a look that could rival a lion’s, but Jimin simply chuckled and walked off.
“I...I must’ve fallen asleep. I’m sorry to take the bed.”
“No, it’s your bed. I just needed something soft ...I mean...the rain outside and the warm bed...It’s just..”
“Listen, there’s no need to explain. Let’s just go eat? Yeah?”
You agreed easily and both of you went right to the kitchen. The first person you saw was Tae sitting with an angry face. You wondered what he might be thinking. It was obvious he wasn’t happy with you being there, and he hadn’t really said a word to you since you arrived. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but there was something you had to do in order to get into Tae’s good graces, otherwise he might throw you out.
The entire dinner felt tense, and the rain outside didn’t let up. Thunder and lightning resounded throughout the city and the rain battered the trees and windows.
“I wonder if this storm isn’t something more serious?” Jimin finally spoke, breaking the awkward silence.
“Maybe it is. Check the news.” Tae replied.
When Jimin stood to turn on the television, the power went out. Everyone let out a gasp, and out of pure reaction, you turned and buried your head into the crook of Jungkook’s neck. Shivering against him, you couldn’t help but nestle yourself deeper. His arms came around you, and with soft, gentle strokes, he rubbed up and down your arm.
“It’s okay, ____. It’s just temporary darkness. The light will return soon.”
While he attempted to calm you down, Jimin and Taehyung were busying themselves in search of candles and any other source of light they could find. Before they could settle everything, a loud booming thunder shook the entire apartment. The next thing you knew, you were on Jungkook’s lap with tears falling down your cheeks leaving the hybrids completely confused.
“Settle down, pet. It’s only a little storm. We’ll all take care of you. How about some tea, hmm?”
Jimin’s soft fingers rubbed over your knuckles, the sensations bringing a calming feeling over you. Looking up from Jungkook’s shoulder, you nodded and then returned to the safety of your hiding space while Jimin turned to busy himself with his new task.
As Jimin chattered in an attempt to distract you, Tae lit candles, but all Jungkook could focus on was the soft swell of your ass sitting perfectly on his cock. At first it wasn’t such a big deal, but as you continued to fidget and shiver every time the thunder resounded, he couldn’t help his erection from stirring. He tried a few times to adjust you, but you held onto this neck with a vice-like grip and eventually he gave up. He knew you could feel it, but thankfully you didn’t say a thing.
“Looks like the entire block is out. May take until the morning before services are restored. We’ll have to spend the night using candles.” Tae complained. He had somehow managed to make a few calls and spoke with the neighbors while Jungkook was having an actual crisis. Not to mention his other hyung hummed mindlessly while making tea as if he didn’t sense the situation happening on the bunny’s lap.
“____, please. I can’t keep you on my lap like this.” Jungkook whispered so only you could hear.
“No…. nooo…” you resisted, and just the sound of it had Jungkook’s eyes rolling back.
“Okay, fine. Just quit moving, please.”
But you didn’t. Not even when Jimin set the tea down and eyed you cautiously, or when Tae took a few deep breaths and grumbled. At first it was simply your fear that made you stay on Jungkook’s lap, but later a delicious feeling crawled up your spine and into the pleasure center of your brain. You couldn’t help but remain on him knowing you were the reason for his current state.
“Quit it…” Jungkook tried to still you once again, but his long fingers digging into your hips only served to draw a tiny moan from your lips.
“He said stop.” Tae’s voice boomed out of him louder than he intended, but he just couldn’t take the incessant moaning and the smell...god the smell… “Human, this is a dining table, not a bed. If you want to lay on something, I suggest you go to sleep.”
“Tae!” Jimin couldn’t believe the words coming out of the bigger cat’s mouth, but he was also relieved that something was said. If he heard any more sweet sounds coming out of you, he may very well have taken you right on the table.
“Look, the rain isn’t going to stop anytime soon, and this poor human is still afraid. Maybe we can take this to the living room and play some games?”
Tae hummed in agreement and then marched out of the room in a hurry while Jungkook struggled to peel you off. “Hyung, a little help?”
Jimin smiled and approached you with the intention to help, but your scent was too overwhelming and he found himself stepping back.
“Hyung...pleaseee.” Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed and he looked so desperate Jimin almost wanted to laugh, but he knew exactly why he was begging.
“___, come with me. I’ll keep you safe, too. Just let….let him go—there.”
When you finally released Jungkook, the younger man got up with hands crossed over his crotch and he slid away slowly. Jimin had you partially under his arm as he hugged and attempted to calm you, but he couldn’t even look at you.
“I’m sorry for this. I really just… don’t like the sound of thunder. It reminds me of bad times and…”
“There’s no need to apologize. Let’s go to the living room. I’ll get you a nice blanket and then we can forget the storm and play games until we get exhausted.”
With tender back pats, Jimin walked you over, but still kept his distance which was very unlike him. He had always been sweet to you and now suddenly he was acting like you had a disease or something. Still, you leaned into him subconsciously, his calming nature drawing you in. You knew your behavior was stupid, but the loud sounds of the storm only reminded you of a past you wanted to forget. The countless attempts and tests they used to run on you was an ever present nightmare, and for days on end you’d be locked into a scanning device as they attempted to study your DNA in order to make hybrid genetics better. Although they were already far superior, they still lacked success in one area— procreation. It was still possible to become pregnant within their species, but it was incredibly difficult. Female humans possessed eggs, ones that could be fertilized by male hybrids, and once extracted, they could be placed into the female hybrid simulating a pregnancy that could not have been possible without humans. This was how they were able to grow in population. And your time was up when your eggs didn’t succeed in any hybrid pregnancies. When they felt you were no longer needed, they sent you away to a center where your only hope was adoption or death.
As you all settled into the other room, game night successful and bellies full, you felt your eyes grow heavy. The soft surface you were leaning against was fluffy yet sturdy, so you snuggled into it more, letting yourself drift off into dreamland.
A low protest came from Taehyung when you placed your head on his shoulder, and when you molded yourself against him, he snarled. Jimin found it hilarious, but Kookie not so much. Though he knew Tae wasn’t interested, seeing you so close to him had his mood dropping. He hated how possessive he felt about you because he didn’t want to be that way with his family.
“Looks like our little human fell asleep. She’s had a hard day.”
“Stop fawning over her and get this dead weight off of me, Jimin.”
When the cat hybrid leaned forward to do just that, Jungkook jumped to his feet immediately. “Don’t worry about it, hyung. Remember I promised to take care of her.”
Practically running to your side, the eager bunny lifted you with ease and headed straight for his room, a space only you and he shared. The other hybrids sat back and stared, both a little jealous that the young male had you all to himself.
“She’s awfully pretty, isn’t she, Tae?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“That’s very cute, grumpy, but I can smell your attraction to her from here. And before you try to deny it, don’t. It’s kinda impossible to ignore her presence when physically we are drawn to humans as well. They are part of our origin and we cannot help our biology. So don’t come to me with all this ‘humans are disgusting’ business. You want her just as much as I do.”
At first Tae was preparing his rebuttal, but at Jimin’s admission, he found himself at a loss for words.
“Come again?”
“You heard me! Don’t let the bun hear you, though. He’ll have both our heads.”
Tae sat back a little astonished at Jimin’s behavior. It wasn’t like him to be so careless or emotional. “What’s gotten into you, cat? This is a human we’re talking about. Also, don’t think I haven’t noticed all the scenting you’ve been doing lately. This house reeks of you. You’re lucky the poor bun can barely pick up on it. I am a cat, and it’s becoming unbearable.”
“You’re just being a big baby. But to be honest, I don’t know. It’s like I can’t help myself. I know it’s silly, and that I should have better control, but all I want to do is... I almost scented her today, but I kept myself from doing it. There’s just something about her…”
“Hmm, I want to say that you’re being weird, but I can’t. There is something about her for sure.” As he spoke these words he was already rising to his feet, clearing some plates and making his way to the kitchen. He didn’t want to say much, and he knew Jimin already sensed most of what he was hiding. That was the thing about certain hybrids. Some senses were just better than others. Jungkook had his own, mostly for protection from predators, but he wasn’t stupid either. The whole apartment was full of pheromones, heat, and possessiveness—none of which were a good combination.
All of this was already stressful and with the addition of Hobi putting his nose where it didn’t belong, he wasn’t in a very good mood. Deciding he didn’t want to talk anymore, he went to bed after apologizing to Jimin about the dishes, promising to do them in the morning.
Jungkook settled into bed right next to you knowing that since you were asleep you wouldn’t argue your way out of it. Not to mention he was way too tired to set up his own sleep area on the floor. The light pattering of the rain against the glass of his bedroom window made for a relaxing night, and within minutes, he was deep in sleep.
It was several hours later that he began to stir. It wasn’t his own doing, since he was incredibly exhausted, but the feeling of something, more like….someone pressing up against him. He doesn’t remember when or how, but his body was now facing yours and your ass was nestled against his crotch. He would’ve completely missed this if you’d been still, but you weren’t. Once again you were pressing into him in a manner that wasn’t exactly friendly.
“____… hey…” Jungkook tried to see if you were awake, but when he got no reply, he assumed you weren’t. The more he tried to push you away, the harder you pressed against him. He was just about to move off the bed when a tiny whine filled his ears. He leaned in closer, unsure if you were even aware of what was happening. You continued to grind against him and it was becoming impossible for him to focus on anything else.
“Please...please Jungkook…”
Your voice was unexpected…and your words.... Were you really begging for him? Leaning in closer, to his own demise, he realized you were dreaming, but the proximity had done its damage. You smelled like heaven, and your arousal was so thick, he’d be a fool not to act on it. Pressing back into you, he rolled his hips a little, telling himself that it was just for a moment, and that you’d soon be asleep again, but he knew that was a lie. Everything felt amazing, and soon his hand traveled over your hip and to your belly where he tugged you back against his chest firmly. Holding you there, he rolled in tandem with you, your gasps making him think you were enjoying this a little too much for being asleep. And then, in a moment of weakness, he looked at you, noticing the light of the moon reflecting off of your open eyes. You were awake and there was no mistaking it now.
“I...I..didn’t mean…” Jungkook tried to pull away, but you turned to face him and held him still.
“Please, don’t. I...I liked it.”
You moved forward, but he pulled back, his dark and large hybrid eyes the only thing you could see. “It’s okay...really.”
You test him one more time, and this time he stays still, like a good little bun. When your noses are inches away, you adjust your body closer and lean in to kiss him. He was as stiff as a board at first, but when you licked over his lips, he immediately reacted as you wanted, and opened up. The make-out session was slowly increasing in fervor, and soon you were straddling him. Mouths connected, the heat of the moment making you both feel lightheaded, but in a good way. Jungkook’s fingers danced around your waist as soon as he found skin, and shirts came off in a dance only lovers could perform. Your cunt rolled over his already hardened length, and he couldn’t help but to grind up into you in response. Everything about this moment felt right, and he knew that you belonged to him.
“If...if you keep doing that...I—I’m going to…”
“W-whaaat?? What are you going to do?”
The both of you spoke warnings that neither of you cared to acknowledge. The truth was, Jungkook was so close to cumming that if you breathed over his neck one more time he’d cum untouched. So he continued to kiss you, and you did the same. Everything was going perfectly, until a knock stilled you both.
You both waited in the silence of the room hoping it would go away, but once again a small tap against the wooden door forced your bodies to separate.
“I...I need to get that.”
Peeling you off hesitantly, he stood up and adjusted his clothes as best as he could and tucked his raging erection behind the waistband of his pajama pants. With one last glance back at you, he placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly. He already knew who was there, the overpowering presence of the tiger hybrid was hard to miss.
“Hey, Tae. What’s up?”
“Don’t ‘what’s up’ me. Look…” Tae sighed heavily and then looked at Jungkook...really looked at him...noticing the arousal written all over the younger’s face. “ Please be careful. Remember she isn’t going to be with us forever. And also, please stop… I can’t sleep. Her scent is literally filling the apartment and Jimin is about to rip through this door. Understand?”
Shocked and embarrassed, Jungkook nodded and quickly shut the door. His face felt hot and for the first time he realized that this wasn’t only about him. He’d been selfish with you since you arrived and his senses were so clouded he could only think of you, but now he realized his brothers were also hurting. For whatever reason, you had an effect on all of them. If it wasn’t such a stupid idea he’d think that you were actually their…
Turning back to you, he saw the way you laid on the bed with the covers up to your eyes looking just as embarrassed as he was.
“That was Tae...he...he wants us to…”
“Yeah, no, it’s okay. I should really get some sleep.” Getting up from the bed, you walked over to the closet to grab the sleeping bag, but this time Jungkook didn’t stop you. The truth was, if you hadn’t made the initiative he would’ve just crawled back into bed with you wanting more.
The both of you went right to bed without another word, but neither of you truly slept.
PT. 4
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glitterzandfirecuffs · 19 hours ago
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a rainy night // jungkook
"Baby, you need to stop", he panted against your lips.
"What," you asked, voice a bare whisper, hands tugging at his hair, pulling him close.
His grip on you only tightened in response, his knees digging into your sides, as his warm breath made you forget the cold weather outside. The serene sound of rain drops hitting the ground in a slow, steady rhythm flowed through the dimly lit room, as his hands enclosed your nape, lips finding yours once again. He kissed into you, warm and passionate, his soft touches hovering over your skin a little longer, murmuring the love his mouth would otherwise never have the courage to confess.
Seated on the couch beside the window, for someone who were to barge into your apartment right this moment, 'friends' would probably be the last word to pop in their mind if they were asked about you and jungkook.
"you need to stop," he said, voice a baritone of the sexual tension lingering between the two of you.
You pulled back, not wanting to, confusion coating your features.
" What do you mean?"
" you need to stop ", he answered, deep voice rumbling through your skin. "stop playing hard to get, you let me cross the boundary, and don't set the bar high up again when tonight ends. please", his lips conquered yours, again, but a lot desperate this time. You hummed in response before you pulled back. Your eyes locked in his you spoke, " you don't know what you do to me, and you know, that's what scares me the most".
Hands pulling him closer to you, mouth conquering his, an invisible flame now clearly alight between you both, you whispered back into his lips, the soft sound of the rain accompanying yours in a subtle melody, " but i'd drop the bar for you if you asked me to". A hand tracing the length of his hair, you spoke, " because i love you too much to be honest", only tenderness coating your voice.
A small smile grazed his lips and before you knew it huge, tattooed arms were carrying you to your bed.
a/n: a quick drabble. hope you like it!
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oureuphoria · 2 months ago
Not Like You || JJK Oneshot
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⟿ Synopsis: God had favourites. Jungkook figured that out early in his childhood, when every waking moment was spent trying to impress his parents at the expense of you. He ran away at 19 to escape the immeasurable pressure to succeed but he couldn't escape you. Six years and a daughter later, Jungkook met his childhood enemy again, except this time he didn't want to run.
⟿ Genre: fluff & angst & slow-burn so slow you question if there is even a burn.
⟿ Pairing: dilf!jungkook x boxer!jungkook x childhood enemy!reader
⟿ Word count: 28K whoops, I went a little overboard
⟿ Warnings: Mentions of depression and brief mentions of suicidal thoughts, mentions of death (very brief, very minor character) some profanity.
⟿ Note: Oh boy okay so I merged boxer JK with father JK with enemies 2 lovers with friends 2 lovers so it's just a MESS okay bare with me. I'm sorry she's so chonky, also the ending was spontaneous so um sorry <3.
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God had favourites. Jungkook figured that out early in his childhood, when every waking moment was spent trying to impress his parents at the expense of your effortless flaunting. Your parents had known each other from high school, they built their businesses together from the ground up and while the story is outdated and tacky, there was no other way to explain it. Their friendship was admirable, truly one of the strongest you’d ever witnessed. You yearned for a friendship like theirs, everyone did, but you weren’t quite as lucky.
Jungkook, who was older than you by four years, was supposed to be your unconditional best friend. The person you could turn to at any given moment because you both practically grew up together. Sure it was a little too convenient to be true but you hadn’t expected him to hate you. In fact, Jungkook had grown a distaste for everything Y/N. At first, his hatred was irrational and petty. He felt like you were everyone’s new object of attention, people doted on you and your cute pig tails before they ever spared him a glance. And of course, as a 9 year old everything seemed to be dramatised ten-fold but soon enough, you had given him plenty of hate fuel.
Jungkook was a fan of music and sport. Those were pretty much the only subjects he paid attention to at school. He wasn’t the brightest kid but he had passion and humour. You, were his polar opposite. You had no musical talent, not a single athletic bone in your body but academics came easy to you, so did impressing adults. You even skipped two grades and Jungkook couldn’t even escape you. You were the textbook example of everything his parents wanted him to be and he hated you for it.
Jungkook’s parents were loving, kind and well-rounded people. They had a lot of compassion and empathy, they grew up in the lower-middle class and knew how intricate money was and how detrimental it was not to waste it. They also knew that wasted potential, was the worst disease that plagued society. They wanted Jungkook to reach his full potential even if, in their eyes, that meant academic success.
Tutoring wasn’t a necessarily bad thing, initially, Jungkook welcomed the extra help. However, hiring top class tutors for an 11 year old was not a smart decision. Jungkook wasn’t thick-skinned, he didn’t take criticism well, especially not when it was delivered harshly. He cried a lot, struggled even more with the newly established pressure to do well. He broke under the weight of unrealistic expectations just like any delicate glass would and when he put himself back together piece by piece, he was never quite the same.
Forced to grow thick skin, Jungkook had lost his compassion, his soft smile and his innocent eyes. Tainted by the burden of disappointment, Jungkook knew he couldn’t fail to meet expectations if there simply weren’t any. And just like that, a child no different to the countless others who enjoyed class and the safe haven it used to be, had become a nightmare.
Middle school wasn’t the worst. He created trouble but it was petty, small and usually harmless. This was also the time period where you grew to hate him too. Where his disdain towards you had become mutual. You tried to keep the bickering to a minimum. Mainly because you liked to avoid trouble but also because you didn’t want to disappoint your parents. Since, after all Jungkook had done, you were never allowed to reciprocate, you always had to be the bigger person.
It was ironic really, Jungkook was two grades above you and still managed to act half your age. Nonetheless, you tried to treat your negative emotions towards him like papers you could file away and come back to when it really mattered. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work, no one could compartmentalise their feelings and surely not a 12-year-old but you tried anyway because anything was better than fighting with Jungkook.
High school was when it got personal. It wasn’t just petty arguments over coloured markers or throwing paint at each other. Suddenly, the hatred had deepened, seeped into your blood like poison. It consumed you, enough so to make you forget that you had no reason to hate each other in the first place. The fighting became planned and vindictive until eventually, tearing each other down had gone too far. You picked at each other’s insecurities because it was easy to destroy someone you knew well. In a way, behind the toxicity of your indescribable relationship, you had been the only constant in each others lives. You found comfort in that.
One day in your sophomore year, it went too far. You couldn’t recall the exact details if you tried but it had something to do with your parents divorce. Nevertheless, words were said, insults exchanged like daggers dragged through skin and if you could take it all back you would, because the very next day, Jungkook didn’t show up to school. He didn’t show up the following day, or the day after that until you had been informed that he’d run away.
You wondered where the missing person posters were, or his extravagant search party. You wondered why nobody seemed to care.
With a reputation that had been carefully constructed for years before Jungkook’s existence, it seemed unworthy to damage it all for him and as shallow as that sounded, the Jeons had been too hurt by his decision to see the error in their actions. And thus, no report was filed and Jungkook had disappeared from your life into thin air; his name had become forbidden in your house. Like a blemish wiped away from history, Jungkook ceased to exist and you couldn’t handle it, not when you saw him everywhere. They told his school he’d transferred, which was a blatant lie, Jungkook never finished high school but you were forced to play along.
Jungkook stayed with an older friend in Seoul where he refused to reply to any of your messages. With the burden of the heavy guilt on your shoulders, you trudged through junior year on your own, fearing that he was gone forever. Everyday for 2 years, you messaged him. It was initially just ‘please come home’ every morning but eventually, under the impression that he wasn’t receiving the messages, you vented. Sometimes it was about how depleted his house had become, how Jungkook’s older brother was spiralling into a pit of depression or how your classes didn’t feel the same. Sometimes it was about how much you hated him for leaving you to deal with two broken families.
Jungkook was nowhere for a while. No longer holding a monopoly over your mind although never completely gone. College was easier, the memory of him wasn’t there at every turn. You didn’t think much of trying to find him, not when he so clearly didn’t want to be found. You told yourself that he was alive, well and much happier than he ever was with his family. You begged that it was true every second of every day.
It wasn’t until your fourth year of college that you had confirmed your theory. You almost missed it, in a rush to make it to your morning lecture in time but your eyes unconsciously did a double take. And indeed, there he was, not-so-small Jungkook on a billboard with the title, ‘Season’s hottest contender’. A professional boxer. You were frozen in your place with your jaw slack for far too long to be normal but nobody really cared. Everyone far too busy with their own burdens.
This, you were not expecting.
Needless to say, you had gotten to your morning lecture around 15-minutes late. Why? Well, because after viewing that fleeting billboard, you spent 10 minutes googling your long-lost arch nemesis and the other 5 running to class after realising you were late. Your ethics professor didn’t mind, which you did not find the least bit ironic in the moment, and thankfully you didn’t draw too much attention. However, it probably would’ve been best if you didn’t attend at all because you had not retained a single word uttered during that 115 minute lecture.
When you had gotten back to your apartment, you began to spiral. It had been 6 years since you last saw Jungkook, 6 years since you last heard of him and your blood boiled at the fact that he was thriving. Of course you were happy for him but he had put your family and his through misery for evidently no reason. A simple text message would have sufficed.
In a spur of the moment decision, you haphazardly spent $120 on two tickets to his match that weekend, one that would take place around 40 minutes from your apartment. You just hoped that your roommate would agree to go with you because there was no other way for you to get there without spending a fortune of course.
“Please!! I promise all you have to do is come.” You pleaded for the umpteenth time that night. “Y/N, neither of us have ever given a shit about boxing, why would we go now?” You were rather close with your roommate, in fact you’d consider him your closest friend, however, you never really discussed your childhood with anyone, much less the petty feud that drove Jungkook out of his home. So, you told a small white lie to cover up the real reason behind your random spike of interest in the violent sport. “I told you, I won the tickets online and I don’t want to waste them.” “You can always sell them?” Seokjin had a valid point, there was no denying that but you weren’t one to back down easily. Jin knew that all too well. “Come on, it’ll be fun! I’ll treat you to dinner after?” “Panda Express?” You rolled your eyes at his evidently expensive taste, he was going to milk it for what it was worth. Despite being the child of a millionaire, you were trying to be financially independent and Jin was not making that easy. “I was thinking McDonalds but that works too I guess…” And with a final handshake you had sealed the deal. Jin would accompany you on your journey.
There were many details you hadn’t foreseen. Like, for example, the fact that opting for the cheapest tickets put you at a substantial distance from the ring and that Jungkook was practically untouchable. You never knew when boxing had gotten so popular but Jungkook had a large and diverse fanbase which ultimately meant tough security and no way to speak to him, not unless he noticed you first. You were sure that even with 20/20 vision, there was no way Jungkook could see you from that distance, not to mention the fact that he had to dodge and throw punches at his opponent who you had done absolutely no research on.
“Y/N, this sucks, lets bail and go to panda express.” You glared at your roommate beside you. It had been less than 10 minutes and he was already complaining. “Wait, they’re selling hot dogs I take back what I said. Go buy two.” “No! Stadium food is expensive and besides, I’m not even hungry.” “Who said they were for you? You said you’d buy me food, go, get me two hot dogs.” “Alright Jin, it’s the hot dogs or panda express.” “Nope, if you want me to sit through watching two sweaty men battle it out like medieval gladiators for an hour than you owe me two, two meals.” You rolled your eyes, shoving the money in his hand nonetheless.
The match wasn’t starting for another 15 minutes and you decided you’d take a shot in the dark. Jungkook had probably changed his number, but on the off chance he didn’t, you sent a message anyway. One that was ambiguous enough not to alarm anyone who was not in fact Jungkook but still contained enough information to ensure him that you were not a psycho stalker fan.
Hey, it’s me Y/N. I’m at your match tonight and I was wondering if we could talk?
You deleted your old messages to him, mostly because it hurt to recount what it was like back then but also partly because you wanted to move on. However, what you’d never forget was the fact that in your 2 years of messaging him, the messages had never, ever been read. So, when the read receipt had shown up onto the screen, you could feel your heart beat in your chest, the sensation becoming overpowering to the point where it left you nauseous. However, it didn’t take long for your heart to settle once again.
Sorry, wrong number.
You weren’t sure what you were expecting but you still felt the disappointment all the same. “So, I got a snow cone too but I’m not a complete monster so I got watermelon because I know it’s your favourite.” “Blueberry. Blueberry is my favourite, Jin.” You deadpanned in a monotonous tone, you were lying, watermelon was your favourite but Jin deserved the discomfort so you maintained the facade anyway. “Wow, who would’ve thought?”
Eventually, the 15-minutes had breezed through and Jin had obliterated the two hot dogs which thankfully gave you time to consume about 90% of the snow cone. “Here, you can have the rest.” Jin looked at you skeptical before realising you had already almost finished the snow cone. “You left me the flavourless, bottom part! I don’t want it.” “Well, that’s what you get for exploiting my kindness. Besides, I’m getting cold you take the rest.” You stretched out your hand towards him, holding the ice cone in place. “I don’t want it." “Just take it.” You taunted further, however, in an attempt to further dramatise his theatrics, Jin had wailed his arms around while complaining, accidentally hitting the snow cone out of your hands and onto your white top.
He winced silently, looking at you, infinitely colder with a large pink stain on your shirt. “I have no regrets.” He tried to hide his giggle but you took off your jacket, throwing at him while standing up to go to the bathroom. “You’re insufferable.” you muttered angrily but you failed at keeping a straight face, after all the situation was rather comical. However, on your way to the bathroom, you passed by the ring and while you were too invested in surveying the severity of the stain, Jungkook’s eyes had landed right on you.
Jungkook often looked back towards the exit because that was where his coach would stand, however, what was supposed to be a quick glance at his surroundings had completely thrown him off his game. Your face was one he could never forget, no matter how much he wanted to.
“Jungkook! Focus!” The command from his coach and a fist to his face had regained Jungkook’s consciousness and he hit back five times harder. In fact, seeing you had brewed a pot of hatred deep inside him, one that he had hoped to keep idle till the day he died. On your way back from the bathroom, your eyes locked with Jungkook’s and from the fury in his eyes and the ferocity of his expression, you knew he was well aware that you were there and evidently still wanted nothing to do with you.
“You look like you had a nose bleed.” You rolled your eyes at Jin who had almost forgotten about your entire existence in the 3 minutes you were gone. “You didn’t tell me the boxer was so fine. Now I know why you wanted to go.” Jin smirked at his comment, raising his eyebrows at you wickedly. However, instead of your comically irritated face, all Jin saw was uneasiness. “Hey are you okay? I’m sorry about the snow cone I didn’t mean to-” You snorted at his antics, your friendship with Jin was rarely sentimental which was why his heartfelt apology had felt so out of place. “I don’t care about the cone, moron and yes, I agree, he is very fine.” There was not a hint of insincerity in your statement but it did come out awkward, mainly because it was true but a part of you knew very well that you’d have to explain to Jin eventually. Especially if you were really planning on getting Jungkook to forgive you.
You spent the rest of the match seated watching quietly. You had to be honest, it left you uneasy. Every punch Jungkook took made you jump a little, every time he threw a punch you held your breath. To say that the entire experience was just pure discomfort would’ve been a severe understatement. You never wanted to attend one of these ever again.
“That wasn’t half bad, Y/N. Dare I say fun, even?” You elbowed him jokingly on your way out of the stadium. “Sure it was fun for you!! I am sticky and I smell like a watermelon starburst.” “You know what, that doesn’t sound half bad either.” You rolled your eyes at him. “Where did you even park the car Jin?” Jin dropped you off at the entrance promising to meet you once he found a place to park his precious car. “It’s a little far…” “Seriously? There are loads of perfectly good parking spots nearby!” “But, Y/N, Popo (yes, Jin named his car, its a Porsche) doesn’t appreciate being among commoners so I parked him at a restaurant nearby, just give me 5 minutes and I’ll bring him here, okay?” You nodded, still sporting a frown provoked by your best friend’s immature antics.
You leaned your shoulder against a wall on the side of the main building which had seemed like a good idea at the time. You were rather tired, even though you didn’t do much. Unfortunately, you hadn’t thought about why turning your back towards the dark abyss might have been problematic. To be frank, you never did think of potential risks in situations, so, when an arm touched your shoulder you were quick to assume the worst and elbow the person behind you.
“Ow! What the fuck, Y/N?” You winced at the familiar voice, of course this would be your first interaction with Jungkook in 6 years. “Oh shit. You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that!” You tried to defend yourself, tone still laced with guilt. There was a heavy pause that followed, one that allowed the tension to grow thicker. “What do you want?” A silence fell after his question to which you responded with a snicker. “What do I want? You approached me, Jeon.” It was a habit, calling him by his last name, one that seemed to only remind him of exactly why he hated you. “I know you’re only here for me so I’ll ask again, what do you want?” “That’s not very fair. What if I was actually a fan of boxing?” “Name one fighter from the season.” It was quiet, you used the awkward pause to properly focus on his face. He’d really grown into his features, arch nemesis or not, he still made you nervous. “Y-” “Don’t say me.” You sighed, defeated. “I said ‘what if’…” You trailed off into yet another awkward silence.
“I just wanted to see how you were doing,” you mumbled quietly, almost to the point where it was incoherent. It was true, though and you didn’t have any ill intentions. Jungkook didn’t buy it and you didn’t blame him. “Did you tell anyone?” “No, not yet at least. Jungkook your mother she-” “Not a word of this to anyone. It’s none of your business.” Your jaw dropped in astonishment, Jungkook was never nice to you but he had definitely changed. He was cold and harsh, things that you’d never associate with the sweet, Bambi-eyed boy from your childhood. “It’s not like you’re keeping a low profile. You’re on billboards, they’re going to find out.” “Yeah, well it won’t be from you.”
“Hey, Y/N!” You turned your neck around quickly at the sound of Jin’s voice, he was seated in his car waiting for you to join him. “I have to go but I’m telling your parents, they deserve to know that you’re alive.” He had his tongue poking through the inside of his cheek and looked at you with a burning ferocity. He cocked his head as if to tell you to go, and that you did. You began to walk away, his look of disappointment perpetually burned into your brain. The interaction left goosebumps on your skin and a look of discomfort that didn’t go unnoticed by Jin. “Who was that?” You mentally shook off all thoughts of Jungkook before shooting Jin a genuine smile. “Just some guy asking for directions, I am almost sure I led him the wrong way.”
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The next time you saw Jungkook was unplanned, at least on your part. You were at work which was a more glamorous way of saying the campus library. It wasn’t fun but you needed the money and it paid well for a relatively low demand on labour. “Hey sexy.” You glared at the source of the irritating voice, Jensen, a guy from your ethics class who had an unruly goal to sleep with every girl in your cohort. “Jensen, lovely to see you.” You feigned a smile, sarcasm obvious in your tone but you didn’t care. He knew well enough that you weren’t his biggest fan.
You didn’t hate Jensen because of his promiscuous sex life, that was his business and you knew better than to make judgements on people based on something that superficial. No, you hated Jensen because of a group project during your first year where he had, unsurprisingly, done absolutely nothing. He went even further to harass your fellow group mate into doing his part for him.
A lot of people hated Jensen but he was disgustingly rich and therefore powerful. You were lucky you could afford to hate him, a lot of people weren’t allowed that luxury. So, you made it your life goal to ensure that Jensen would never, ever, get his way around you.
“I need a book.” “Thought so, you are at a library after all.” He rolled his eyes at your backhanded insults but didn’t move from his position on the bench. Leaning far too close for your comfort. “Picture books are over there.” You gestured when he hadn’t moved from the bench. “Funny, Y/N.” You gave him a sincere smile in response, his discomfort brought genuine joy to your heart. “Great Expectations, Dickens.” You cocked an eyebrow at him and his audacity. Your job was to scan library cards and shelve books, not help a grown ass man locate a book in a library. “It’s the book I need. Go get it.” You sighed in an attempt to calm the volcano of rage that was dangerously close to erupting. “It’s in the classics section, look for the letter D, you must be familiar with it considering your grades.” And with a swift middle finger to your face, Jensen had made his way to the classics section and away from you.
“He’s just so annoying! Who doesn’t know how to locate a book in a library? It’s not even that big.” Jin let out a hum in response which was a telltale sign that he was not listening whatsoever. You hit the back of his head lightly to which he gave you an offended look. “He’s pretty good looking you know.” You gave Jin a look of sheer disgust. There wasn’t much that could make you find someone truly disgusting but Jensen ticked all the boxes which therefore meant that no matter how conventionally attractive he may be, he was entirely hideous to you, inside and out.
“Anyways, while you were not so graciously ranting about your boring life, I got us both invited to the after party.” Jin’s proposal was met with a look of confusion. “What after party?” Your tone, now accusatory and skeptical had Jin feeling nervous. “Well, while you were trying to ring snow cone flavouring out of your shirt, I met this lovely guy named Namjoon who just so happens to be best friends with the boxer and he invited us both to the after party to celebrate Jungkook’s win.” You felt your heart jump to your throat. Suddenly feeling extremely nauseous. You excused yourself to the bathroom where you washed your face in a weak attempt to regain composure. Just the mention of his name was throwing you off. He had disappeared from your life for almost a third of it and it was difficult to accept that he was back.
Jin was perplexed, ever since the day you had asked him to attend the match with you, he would often catch you looking distracted at random times. You always played it off but he knew something was up, he just didn’t feel like forcing it out of you. “Sorry, I think there was something weird in that burrito.” You shivered at the thought of the food which had been tasty then but a genuine regret later. “It’s fine, anyways, I already RSVPd and these events are super hard to get into so we’re going, okay?” You nodded absentmindedly, as mentioned before, Jin was stubborn and there was no way to dig yourself out of this one unless you were willing to tell him the truth.
When in the comfort of your room, you spent an abnormal amount of time with your finger hovering above her contact awkwardly.
‘Mrs Jeon :D’
You couldn’t bring yourself to ring it and despite your better judgement, you decided not to. Something about Jungkook’s dejected expression told you that he needed his space and you owed him at least that much. However, in the solitude of your room, you were finally able to truly reflect on what had happened and what you were planning to do about it. You never admitted it out loud but you relied on Jungkook and despite the anger he’d put you through daily and his senseless pranks, you grew a soft spot for him, you grew fond of someone who hated you through and through under the premise that it was just a guise.
You’d deny it the moment it comes up but at one point, in fact during your sophomore year, before Jungkook ran away, you harboured stupid, pre-teen feelings for him. Sure they were menial and childish but he was your first real crush, dare you say your first love even. But this feeling which you had apprehensively allowed into your life had left you broken. It hurt that much more when he left. The feelings were forced to subside in his absence, although, in the comfort of your bed, it became harder to confirm whether they had ever subsided at all or just remained dormant in the corner of your heart, waiting for the chance to reignite again.
The next day Jin barged into your room at noon. “Get up loser, we’re going shopping.” You sat up from your starfish position on the bed to look at Jin as he leaned against your doorframe dramatically. “Why? We went shopping last week.” You groaned before flopping backwards onto your comfortable bed again. Jin wasn’t having it and therefore he yanked you out of bed and onto the floor. “I need a new outfit for the party and you do too. If I have to see you wear one of your outdated dresses or that stupid mini-skirt-” “That skirt has been through a lot with me, Jin! It holds sentimental value, not that you’d know anything about that, you sociopath.” You got up nonetheless and Jin knew he’d won the battle. You opened your closet, feeling a little insecure about your entire wardrobe thanks to Jin and decided you deserved some new clothes. Which was an entirely personal revelation, not in any way related to your brutally honest roommate.
You weren’t sure why Jin was so on edge about this party. You knew well enough that Jin liked to shop often but he had been nervously raking through his closet and trying different hair styles the entire week. “So, you like this Namjoon guy don’t you?” you teased with a quirk of your eyebrows. Jin scoffed in response letting out mumbles of astonishment. “You think I’m that easy?” “I think you’re a strong believer of love at first sight.” He shook his head instantly, opting not to say anything else. Ironically, the silence confirmed your suspicions; Jin was never speechless.
“Pinstripes or plain?” Jin was holding two ties up to his neck, alternating between the two. “I don’t think anyone wears ties to a house party, Jin.” He mocked you silently but put down the ties anyway. “How about this shirt?” You held up a white silk blouse that had a rather deep v-neck. “I’ll try it on.” You clapped giddily before continuing to peruse the racks of clothing. “So, what are you thinking of wearing?” You shrugged, a sound response which encapsulated the turmoil you were feeling inside, you had absolutely no idea what to wear. “Nothing? You always have opinions.” That was true, you’ve always liked clothing. Ever since you were a kid you always liked to experiment (which led to some rather horrendous family pictures) and you liked to think you grew into your hobby quite well. “Nope, I’ve got nothing.”
“What about this dress?” You glanced at the floral cocktail dress Jin was holding up, it was pretty but your severe allergy to flowers gave you shivers when you looked at it. “Maybe not…” After about 3 hours of inconspicuous shopping (trying to be financially responsible and all), you decided to head home. You ended up buying a rather simple black body con dress that you thought was appropriate, after all the last thing you needed was to attract attention. Jin went with the elegant silk blouse you picked out (you’re always right) and a pair of slacks. He looked great and if you were whoever the hell it was he was trying to impress, you’d be smitten.
On the night of the party, Jin screamed, “Y/N, you ready?” You scoffed at his shrill voice from your shared living room, where you had been (im)patiently waiting for him for the past 25 minutes. “I have been ready for the better part of an hour. Hurry up!” Jin rolled his eyes at your outburst because frankly, he didn’t care, he had a million other things to worry about like how he was going to keep up a conversation with Namjoon while knowing absolutely nothing about boxing. “Where’s the party anyway?” “Jungkook’s house, it’s huge by the way, I checked some places out in that neighbourhood last year.” You nodded absentmindedly, too occupied trying to calculate just how much being a boxer could possibly make you to pay attention to the fact that Jin was planning on moving out.
“That was the wrong turn, idiot! I said take the second left that was the third, no wonder you failed math.” Jin waved off your complaints, peaking at your phone which told him to make a U-turn. “I’m driving next time.” You were still on your learners but felt as though you could surely navigate better. “So you can drive 40 in a 60 zone and make us even later? No thanks.” You let out a huff of astonishment, maybe you were a little too careful sometimes but at least your driving record was clean. Jin couldn’t say the same. “Okay, where the hell do I park Popo? It’s packed!” You shrugged, unconcerned with Jin and his car. “I don’t know, there’s space down the street.” “Down the street?! Behind the Toyota are you insane?” “Whatever, I’m leaving.” You left the car with a shrug to which Jin groaned in annoyance.
“Name and ID.” Jungkook hired bouncers for his house party, bouncers, this man had to be insane. “Y/N L/N,” you replied with a smile that was not returned in any way whatsoever but you could guess that the man was tired so you tried not to take it to heart. You realised, when you had entered the extravagant house that you probably should’ve waited for Jin. You didn’t know a single person there and half of them looked like they bench pressed semi-trucks for a living. You weren’t sure how long you were standing near the entrance with a panicked gaze but it must’ve been a while because Jin had entered looking pissed. “Y/N, you will not believe how far I had to walk I- oh, there’s Namjoon, bye loser!”
Your mouth opened and closed like a fish for a bit, hand outstretched to in a failed attempt to stop him from abandoning you. “Asshat,” you cursed under your breath.
You spent the rest of the night alone, you grabbed a cup full of orange juice and a drop of alcohol because you wanted to pretend you could handle your alcohol by drinking a ‘mimosa’. You were bored out of your mind but you didn’t want to disturb Jin, by the looks of it, he had been hitting things off with that Namjoon guy he was interested in. You were genuinely happy for him.
Sipping 5 cups of orange juice for the better part of your night was not a good idea. You needed to pee.
Jungkook had made it very clear (not personally, you hadn’t seen him all night) that the second floor of his house was off limits. There were security standing at the entrance of the staircase. However, you never made it near the staircase until you felt an impending need to relieve your bladder which was unfortunately met with 4 occupied bathrooms. When you had reached the base of the stairs leading to the second floor, the security, who had been there for every second previous to your arrival, were busy helping an extremely drunk person to a seat and you had gone up in search of a bathroom.
All the doors were shut but that didn’t discourage you. You knocked and peered inside in desperation, careful because you knew what closed doors at a party meant. Eventually, after going past his study, (why did he even need a study?) his home gym and a bedroom, you found a children’s room. You were a major advocate for respect and privacy when in other people’s homes, however, this was Jungkook. Your extreme curiosity got the better of you. The room was empty, thankfully, that party was no environment for a child, however, it was the only room that was full of life. There were toys overflowing from a chest, a pink blanket on a messy bed (the one with the princess net at the top that every child wanted) and a picture framed on the wall with Jungkook and a little girl.
Your heart plummeted to your feet faster than the speed of light and suddenly, the need to evacuate your bladder was gone. The only urge you could register was the one to scream. Jungkook had a child. A child. Was he married? What else was he hiding? “What the fuck are you doing? second-floor’s off limits get- Y/N?” You turned around to see the man of the hour, both shocked and livid at his discovery. “You have a daughter?” Jungkook didn’t say anything in response, he grabbed your arm tightly and dragged you out of the room. His vice-like grip hurt, but you didn’t hold it against him. This was his kid, you’d be mad too.
“You need to stay the fuck away from me. Understood?” He seethed through gritted teeth but you could feel an anger of your own begin to simmer. “Jungkook, why are you pushing us away? Why are you pushing me away? I never did anything to you!” He scoffed, now letting go of your arm which was visibly red, he’d feel guilty about it later. “I don’t owe you shit, let alone an explanation so-” “You don’t know what it was like when you were gone. The least you could do is explain.” You cut him off and he was surprised at your confidence, you were definitely older.
“You really are clueless, huh?” The tension in the hallway had risen to an all time high but you weren’t budging. You crossed your hands across your chest and leaned against the wall to prove that you weren’t going anywhere. He was really about to unpack 9 years worth of emotional trauma. “Did you ever look at the family pictures, Y/N?” You nodded slowly, unsure what he was insinuating. “You were in the middle of all of them, hell even my family albums were full of you.” You didn’t really know what to say, Jungkook might have been right but you were a child, how could you have known better? “You can’t hold that against me I was like 10!”
“In middle school my parents never attended my football games but they were always at your orchestra recitals.” “I-” You tried to apologise but Jungkook wasn’t done. “In high school, I joined the dance team and won a state title, but that didn’t matter because you won a chess tournament. My entire childhood was spent trying to escape your shadow. Forgive me if I don’t want that kind of life for my kid.” You didn’t reply, there were tears in your eyes but you refused to let them fall. Jungkook always had a sharp tongue, the sarcasm dripped from his every word.
While the shock of the fact that Jungkook was a father began settling in, he took the opportunity to walk away but you were quick to stop him. Same grip on his arm, but much softer. “I’m sorry, Jungkook, I really am. It was never my intention to make you feel that way.” Jungkook heard the break in your voice and the quiet sniffles, he assumed you were crying but turning around could have risked the last of his self-control. “I’m trying to make this right, I promise.” Jungkook slipped out of your grasp and continued on his way, not sparing you a second glance.
The drive back home with Jin was silent.
To say you were shocked would have been a severe understatement and everyone around you noticed. Jin had picked up on your quietness around the apartment, Jensen had noticed your lack of snarky comebacks; even the lady who sells the most delicious cinnamon rolls across the street picked up on your absence. You weren’t necessarily doing a good job at hiding your inability to cope with the news and Jin had found your change in demeanour extremely concerning. He’d complained about it to Namjoon who, while completely aware about the situation, relayed the information onto an uncaring Jungkook. Namjoon felt bad lying to Jin, but it wasn’t his business.
You stayed true to your word and didn’t tell anyone about his, predicament, for lack of a better word. You did a lot of snooping but Jungkook had done an insanely great job of hiding his child from the media, you assumed that was for the best. The picture of her was engraved in your head, you could vividly recall her smile because it was so much like his. You hoped she was happy and that he was well, it wasn’t like he had much familial support.
After two weeks, when your mind was just starting to evict its unwanted resident, a phone call from an unsaved number had startled you. “Hello?” You questioned suspiciously, people rarely ever called you so your hesitance was justified. However, no matter how cautiously you approached the phone call, nothing could’ve prepared you for the question on the other side. “Are you serious about wanting to make things right?”
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“She’s not allergic to anything but she’s not a fan of spicy food. Bedtime’s 7pm, 8pm latest otherwise she won’t sleep all night. Her bath time is usually around 6pm but I’ll hopefully be home by then. Oh and one more thing, if I’m back really late, feel free to take one of the guest rooms. All clear?” You nodded dutifully, after all you were literally taking notes.
Jungkook had called you in a spur of the moment decision to ask you to babysit his daughter. It went against all of his better judgement but his second qualifying match had been pushed forward due to a change in the semi-finals dates and his usual babysitter couldn’t help on such short notice. His closest friend was his manager (Namjoon) and everyone else he trusted had lives of their own to tend to. You seemed like the best viable option (not that there were many options to begin with, Jungkook kept his circle close) so Jungkook called you with a proposal of peace in exchange of a favour. You agreed a little too quickly over the phone with an excited tone that almost made Jungkook smile. Almost.
“You got it.” You added a playful salute for comedic relief but Jungkook didn’t seem impressed. He gave his daughter a long kiss on the cheek and a hug, falling to his knees to properly hold the toddler. For the first time in a long time, that old Jungkook with the Bambi eyes overflowing with compassion had made an appearance, it was fleeting, but it was nice to know that he was still in there. “Bye baby, I’ll be home soon, okay?” She smiled and waved at him, giving him a thumbs up for good measure. You could already tell she was extremely mature for a 4-year-old. “Bye bye, daddy! Be safe.” Hesitantly, Jungkook left his house, still apprehensive about his choice to leave his daughter with you.
But, you had been together longer than you had been apart, and while Jungkook hated you, you technically never did anything wrong (partially the reason why he couldn’t stand you). He wanted to genuinely give you a chance. Jungkook tried to physically shake away his thoughts, after all, this was the least prepared he ever was for a match and it was detrimental to his career. He needed to focus. “Don’t stress, Jeon. You’ve got this in the bag.” Namjoon reassured him at the sight of his visible discomfort. He wanted the best for his daughter and if that meant doing the only thing he was good at, he would do it.
“So, your name’s Kyomi, right? My name is Y/N.” You outstretched a hand to the toddler, she eyed it skeptically which you couldn’t help but find unusually adorable. Eventually, she took your comparatively giant hand in hers, shaking it with all her might. “My name means pure and beautiful, what does yours mean?” You looked at her with a blank gaze, blinking absently. Your name didn’t have a meaning. Were 4 year olds supposed to talk this much? “Oh um, I don’t think my name has a meaning…” You trailed off, weirdly embarrassed over something you had never even thought about. “That’s okay, I can give you one later!” She beamed and you could have sworn that your heart skipped a beat.
“Can we have McDonald’s?” She questioned sheepishly, stumbling over the franchise name. While you definitely wanted to agree with her and invest in some nuggets, you really needed this to go well so you raided Jungkook’s fridge for the leftovers he told you to feed her instead. “Sorry ‘Mi, you’re having kimbap, father’s orders.” She shrugged, seemingly unfazed by the rejection. She seriously had more self-control than most of the adults you knew. You expected no less from Jungkook’s child. “Do you want some?” She questioned, holding out a piece to you. You shook your head declining her offer as politely as possible.
“Are you sure you want to watch Tangled, Spongebob movie’s right there-” She nodded confidently and you sighed in defeat. She was too adorable to disappoint, you could see why Jungkook had given her that name, it suited her well. “Why does the horse chase him?” “Because he stole the crown?” “Why did he steal the crown?” “Because he wanted money.” “So he won’t even wear it? What a waste.” You giggled, however the girl had been entirely serious so you stifled the laugh in hopes of not offending her.
Eventually, it had hit 7pm and while you had hoped Jungkook would’ve been home, he wasn’t. You helped her change into pyjamas and brush her teeth deciding that Jungkook could give her a bath the next day. “Kind and silly,” she whispered as she began drifting to sleep in her bed, you next to her. “Sorry?” you replied unsure what those words were supposed to mean. “That’s what your name means.” You couldn’t contain your smile and while you wanted her to humour your ego longer, she needed sleep and once she was finally deep in slumber, you left her room. You decided to wait downstairs for Jungkook, he had to be home soon and you desperately wanted to go home. You didn’t think you could handle an awkward morning with him.
When Jungkook had finally returned, it had been almost 11pm and he hadn’t expected to see you passed out on the couch, Peppa pig playing on the TV. He laughed at the scene quietly, so as not to wake you but his efforts were futile. You always were a light sleeper. “Oh, you’re home!” You said excitedly, well, as excitedly as someone could be while rubbing the sleepiness away from their eyes. “Yeah, sorry I was late. Interviews ran over schedule.” “I take it you won?” He nodded, making his way to the kitchen for a glass of water. “You want me to take you home?” The question was void of emotion which made it sound like a burden and it probably was, which was totally fine. You checked your phone for the time, it was far too late to catch the bus. “It’s fine, I’ll call a cab.” “Okay, goodnight.” And with that Jungkook made his ascent up the stairs.
You watched him for a bit before standing up, stretching for the laborious task of calling a cab. “Oh and Y/N?” “Hmm?” You turned back around to face him and he gave you a small but genuine smile. “Thank you.” You gave him a smile back that was far wider than his. “Anytime.” And you meant it, you genuinely enjoyed spending time with Kyomi.
Unfortunately, Jungkook had taken your offer at the worst possible time. About a week after your spontaneous babysitting, you had caught a cold. With the seasons changing and the weather getting colder, you knew it was probably inevitable but you still hated it all the same. While you did your best to complete your course work through the burden of sickness, eventually you realised it was a bottomless pit of assignments and you’d much rather fail than conform to the unrealistic goals of college professors. Jin offered to take care of you like any good friend would but you foolishly rejected thinking you could handle yourself. You couldn’t. Even making coffee was a struggle.
Your nap was rudely disrupted by a phone call. You awoke from your slumber sluggishly, patting around your bed for the phone. “Jensen, for the last time I can’t help you if you lost a library book just pay the damn fee!” You angrily exclaimed into the phone, almost positive that the man on the other side was the guy who had called at least 3 times in the last hour. “Uhhh, it’s Jungkook.” The line felt silent as you checked the contact to see a private number and not Jensen. “Well, that’s embarrassing.” He hummed in response.
“So, I need you to watch Kyomi again, please.” “Another match this fast?” “No, I’m meeting someone.” “Oh…” It was in that very moment that you had realised that your feelings for Jungkook never entirely dissipated because you felt the familiar sting of jealousy in your chest, the one you'd learned to grow accustomed to all those years ago. You weren’t even sure if he was meeting that kind of someone, but it affected you all the same. “I’m really sorry but I’m sick.” Jungkook could hear it in your voice before you admitted it and he would’ve been lying if he had said he wasn’t concerned. “You alright?” You nodded, before foolishly realising that he couldn’t see you, rookie mistake. “Yeah I’m fine, it’s just a cold.” “Is anyone home with you?” He asked and you scoffed, followed by a loud coughing fit which definitely didn’t assist you in proving your point. “Jungkook, I’m 20-years-old. I don’t need someone to take care of me.” “I’m coming over.” And before you could even protest, the line was dead and you were in a state of frenzy.
You did your best to clean whatever you could, thankfully, being meticulous about your living area was useful in the off chance of spontaneous visitors. You couldn’t say the same about Jin’s room but that was why doors existed. Just when you had finished folding the designated couch blanket, a knock had startled you. You’d assumed he’d gotten your address the same way he got your number; through Namjoon who often visited for his boyfriend, Jin. You opened the door, uncaring about your sickly appearance. This man had seen you at your worst (pre-puberty) and there was no coming back from that. “You look horrible.” You rolled your eyes at his bluntness but moved away to let him in nonetheless. “Well, hello to you too!” You sarcastically whispered under your breath, but he caught it anyway. Of course he had superhuman hearing. “What was that?” he quirked playfully, raising his eyebrow in response. You didn’t bother to repeat it.
“I brought soup and medicine, wasn’t sure if you had any.” To be completely frank, you weren’t even aware there were medicines for colds. Was the normal procedure not to just let them pass? “Thanks. Where’s Kyomi, is she okay?” Jungkook found your genuine concern for his daughter heart-warming, he had seen a lot of people pretend to care about her to get closer to him and it hurt to say the least. He was still learning how to filter out the insincerity but that was a step in the right direction. “She’s hanging out with Namjoon and your roommate, I crashed their date before coming here.” You nodded understandingly before reaching for the container of soup. Fuck modesty, you were starving.
“You know, Jungkook…this doesn’t taste that bad?” Jungkook gave you an all-knowing look, as if what you had told him was a fact written in stone. “Big improvement from when you set a chicken on fire in the microwave.” Jungkook’s jaw dropped in offence but he was quick to jump to his defence. “Alright, no one told me aluminium was flammable.” “It’s a metal, Jeon. What did you think it would do?” Jungkook flicked your forehead lightly over the counter and for a second, you felt as if you were 8 again, fighting over toy cars for the sake of it. “You should probably keep a distance, Namjoon might kill me if you get sick.” He nodded in agreement and you felt your heartbeat slow at that. If you could keep him at a distance, you’d be fine. That weird philosopher that muttered ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ would have to suck it because you needed to be right.
Falling for Jungkook all over again may be a fall you can’t recover from.
“Your fridge is filled with mineral water and flavoured milk. This can’t be sustainable.” You groaned, from your seat on the kitchen island, you just wanted to enjoy the soup guilt free. “If I wanted a nutritionist, I would’ve asked for one.” Jungkook didn’t reply, merely grabbed a bottle of mineral water and chugged half the thing in one gulp. “So, who were you meeting today?” You knew exactly how you sounded. Jealous, desperate, lonely. But you didn’t care, a huge part of who you were was being far too curious for your own good, you were infamous for that. “A woman.” You didn’t prod further. Getting Jungkook to let you into his home and meet his daughter (even if it was just as a makeshift babysitter) was more than enough for you and pushing your luck wouldn’t be a smart decision.
“What about you?” He questioned warily, tone apprehensive as if he was dipping his toes into icy water. “Hmm?” You were too invested in consuming the last of the soup to find an answer for his question. “You seeing anyone?” The spoon slipped from your hand onto the metal bowl with an uncomfortable clank. “No, I haven’t had the time and all the men I’ve met suck.” That was half true, you tried to date but something always went wrong before things could become official. You didn’t put out in a ‘reasonable’ time frame, you couldn’t allocate enough time to spend with them, you were too young, too inexperienced, too focused on school, not focused enough. There was always fault on your part and it encouraged you to simply give up. You’d have been a fool not to take the signs the universe was hurling at you.
“Even Jensen?” You laughed obnoxiously at the mention of the man you purchased an entire death note for. “Especially Jensen.”
When you were finally in the comfort of your bed again, you couldn’t sleep. Not when Jungkook was seated on a chair next to you with his hand on your head. “You have a bit of a fever.” He spoke softly, noticing the way your eyelids were heavy on your eyes. You made an effort to respond to him. “I’ll be fine. I ate, I took medicine, this is already more than I’ve ever done to treat a cold. My immune system’s probably throwing a party.” Jungkook chuckled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He couldn’t help but worry. It might’ve been because Jungkook was used to being a worried caregiver, or maybe it was because he always felt responsible for you when you were younger. “I’ll stay till your fever goes down and then I’ll get out of your hair, I promise.” You hummed in approval, too tired to do much else and from that point forward things began to deescalate.
Your fever went down and your breathing was smoother, there was nothing more that Jungkook could wait for and yet he did. He stayed in the uncomfortable chair for far longer than he should’ve, as if your sickly pale, sleeping face was the most interesting thing in the cosmos. “I’m sorry.” He muttered under his breath to no-one in particular though unconsciously he knew it was for you. You grew into your features well and maybe it was just the sickness but you seemed so tired, too tired for your age.
Every time Jungkook purchased a new phone, he made sure to use the same sim card so that he could keep his number. He never told you but he read all of your tangents, even when you stopped thinking he received them. Jungkook’s guilt, that had accumulated with every message had been masked by his misplaced anger, began to subside the night after you watched his daughter. Eventually, it all came crashing down onto him like a roof no longer supported by the pillars of his poor judgement. Jungkook shattered his phone during practice a year ago and couldn’t recover the SIM card and the guilt which was now at the forefront of his mind had him feeling responsible for ruining your childhood, even though he deemed you the sole conspirator for the tragedy that was his.
“Jungkook?” Your groggy voice pulled him out of his misery and he was quick to react. “I’m here.” He took your hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze although he realised soon enough that it was not what you were hoping for. "Go home, loser! I can take care of myself.” You swatted him away with no real intention of harming him though in your weak state he doubted you could if you wanted to. Jungkook knew you didn't need him because you didn’t just take care of yourself, you took care of his brother when he was on the grim edge of suicide, you took care of his parents when his absence was too powerful for them to cope with and you took care of your broken home, shuffling between two estates like a care package. Jungkook knew you could take care of yourself, he just wanted to make up for making you take care of his mess too. “Okay, okay, I’m going.” And with that he stood, feeling a small ache in his muscles from being seated for so long.
“Wait!” He was barely outside of your room before you called him again. “If it’s not too much trouble, you should come back with more soup.” Jungkook continued on his way, shaking his head in disappointment but chuckling nonetheless. You sighed when he left, weirdly enough you felt like you were on eggshells with him, as if he was always one mistake away from disappearing again. Disturbing your 15-minutes of solitude, Jin had returned from his date which you had unintentionally crashed, you would never hear the end of it. “You bitch. I had to share my date with a four-year-old because of you. And I’m cute okay but not cute enough to top a child, Y/N. You’re such a fucking cock-blocker, I'm never forgetting this.” And just like that, your piercing headache was back.
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“I don’t get it, Kyomi. You were fine with Y/N last week?” Jungkook felt like tearing his hair out of his scalp, despite his four years of experience, parenting wasn’t getting any easier. There were new hurdles hiding in the corner of every milestone, new triumphs came interlaced with new battles that hid behind the fleeting glory. “I miss Suzy!” Suzy was Kyomi’s old babysitter who Jungkook decided to forego because you offered to babysit his daughter for free and money didn't grown on trees. However, it felt like a mistake when he was on the receiving end of his daughter’s temper tantrum. She was normally level-headed but she was a child after all and it wasn’t her fault Jungkook barely knew what he was doing. “I know, baby, but she was going to have to leave eventually.” It was weird, trying to explain the issues with attachment to a four-year-old when he didn’t quite understand them himself. Jungkook had never been on the side of those left behind, after all he was a master at running away. “I. Want. Suzy!” Kyomi began to scream and stomp her feet they way four-year-olds do when they don't get their way and Jungkook needed to get to training so he caved, even though he knew he shouldn’t have. “Fine, I’ll call Suzy but this is your last day with her, understood?” She nodded with a tear-stained face and Jungkook knew very well he’d have to fix this mess later but he couldn’t afford not to humor her in that moment.
Thankfully, Suzy was free and understanding, despite being a college student, she tried her best to make time for Kyomi and Jungkook truly appreciated it which he thought he conveyed well through her hefty pay check. “I’ll be back before 8. Sorry, again.” Jungkook began to explain the second he opened the door but she was quick to wave him off. “It’s no biggie, I love watching her. She’s such an angel.” Jungkook scoffed at the irony but had no time to explain, hauling his ass out of the building with his gym bag hanging from his shoulder.
Something he’d forgotten to do in the midst of the chaos was call you and let you know that he’d no longer be needing your assistance which left you with quite a shock when a girl, barely older than you, had opened the door to his house. “Sorry I’m late I- Oh…is Jungkook here?” She shook her head, her beautifully styled curtain bangs framed her perfectly symmetrical face elegantly. “He said he’d be back around 8, I’m Suzy, his babysitter, would you like me to let him know you stopped by?” She gave you a warm, genuine smile which you found hard to reciprocate. Jungkook just had to find the most beautiful and seemingly kind babysitter there was to replace you without notice. “No, it’s fine but thanks for letting me know.” You left with whatever fraction of dignity you had left and a promise to have some words with Jungkook.
You did something wrong. You must have. Why else would Jungkook hire someone else when you were willing to watch his adorably sassy daughter for no charge? You kicked a stone on your way out of his driveway which was heavier than it looked. You winced, hopping to relieve the stress on the toe you had unintentionally stubbed. It only soured your mood even more, pushing you to send a strongly worded text message on your way to the bus stop because you had ordered an uber there and could not afford to splurge on one back. Being financially independent was harder when you didn’t have a car.
To: Jungkook
I don’t know why you felt the need to replace me but you could have at least said something instead of making me go all the way to your house only to humiliate myself because you already had someone watching Kyomi. That was a dick move. 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡
Delivered 17:43
You hoped the angry faces didn’t undermine your argument because immediately after sending, you realised they made your message look rather childish. But, there was no time to dwell on your texting mannerisms. You had dark brooding to do in the comfort of your home where you would rant Jin’s ears off.
Jungkook read your message during his water break and felt his levels of frustration reach an all-time high as he tried to inhale an entire litre of water in one gulp. “Jeon, get back here let’s work on your hooks!” His coach was also mad at him, but that he could deal with by following his rigid instructions, which meant putting down his phone without formulating a response to your angry proclamation which, to no surprise, only made you angrier.
Read 19:02
After checking your phone and realising he had read the message without responding you decided it was official. You hated him. After allowing the anger (and jealousy) to fester, you had officially decided you despised Jungkook. Not only did he read your message and not respond but Jin was not home to receive your venting, leaving you alone to handle your emotions alone without a figurative punching bag (or even a literal one, you weren't picky). While you had breezed through academics like a race car driver who’s rent was due, emotional intelligence was not something you could streamline but most of the time you could handle things maturely.
This was not one of those times.
Jungkook had called you around 8:30pm, but you didn’t bother answering. The silent treatment was both a petty and effective way to convey your discontentment. On the other hand, Jungkook was about one push away from a meltdown and really needed you to pick up. “Thanks for helping me get her into bed, Suzy. You’re an angel.” Jungkook may have been exaggerating but he meant every word, there was exhaustion seeping from every crevice in his body. “I don’t mind, I like her. You look really tired, let me make you some tea.” Suzy was a natural caretaker, when someone needed help she offered it and Jungkook was in no position to deny any help.
“She threw a tantrum for you, you know. I’m gonna need you to start sucking at your job a little before she forces me into making you my wife.” Jungkook was joking, he knew that, Suzy knew that and yet she still let her mind dwell, heat rushing to her cheeks at the comment. “Would that be so bad?” Jungkook didn’t answer. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t find him attractive, and if this really was the last time she’d be babysitting Kyomi, then making a move wouldn’t be unprofessional, right? “Here you go.” She set the mug on the coffee table in front of the couch where Jungkook was sitting, or slumping, more accurately. When she walked around to the back of the couch, Jungkook assumed she was getting ready to leave but he hadn't seen her walk towards the door. She stood behind Jungkook's couch, feet moving back and forth as she pondered whether or not she should confess. She decided against it in the very last minute, too afraid of being rejected. "Good luck, Mr Jeon. Thank you for everything." She left with a self-indulgent peck to his cheek and Jungkook had unknowingly upset yet another woman in his life.
“You should call him back.” Jin, being the ever-so wise man he was had been pestering you about the phone call you ignored. “What if he needs you?” You continued to focus on your paper for ethics, it was a bad idea to write about philosophy when angry but you needed it done and the hate fuel was pushing out 30 words per minute. “He has Suzy.” You mumbled under your breath in a spiteful tone, Jin held back the urge to roll his eyes. “You’re jealous of his babysitter? You’re down bad, Y/N. Real bad.” You scoffed in astonishment at his insinuation. “Am not.” “Are to.” “Am not.” “Are to.” “Am not.” “Then call him back.” You walked right into that one. “Fine.” You grabbed your phone with a brute force unparalleled by anything else on this earth. You were livid about being strong-armed into calling him back and even madder that Jin had been absolutely right. You were down bad.
You held the phone to your ear, essay long since forgotten and Jin out of the room in hopes that giving you privacy would calm you down. It did. “Hello, Y/N?” You were quiet on the other line. Every ounce of rage you had accumulated over the evening had evaporated at the sound of his soft, tired voice. You felt bad, even. “Hi.” Your voice was small, breathing even smaller but still audible and Jungkook could almost sense the hostility dissipate with every exhale. “I’m sorry for not calling you it just slipped my mind, honestly. Kyomi threw a tantrum about how she wanted to see her old babysitter again and I just couldn’t handle it. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” God, you felt like such an asshole for immediately assuming the worst. Jungkook was a grown man with genuine problems that you couldn’t even fathom having. You needed to be more considerate.
“I’m sorry too. I reacted immaturely, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt next time.” Jungkook felt the corners of his mouth move into a smile at the sound of a ‘next time’. Weirdly enough, spending time with you didn’t seem like the worst possible thing anymore. “I’m free tomorrow, how about I take you out to lunch to make up for the strenuous journey from your place to mine.” He was mocking you, but with such a kind preposition you couldn’t bring yourself to care. With a radiant smile that you were so glad he couldn’t see, you responded as monotonously as you possibly could. “Yeah, sure I guess.” Macho, real smooth. “Oh! Please bring Kyomi!” And with that shrill request, your tough exterior came crumbling down faster than your brain could process it. “I’m sure she’d love that.”
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Jungkook wasn’t sure if he could call that lunch a date but he was unconsciously treating it like one. He spent far too long picking out an outfit and even longer on his hair. He thought about tying it up but felt it was too intimidating and yet having it down felt too informal. In a true dilemma, he had entirely forgotten about getting his daughter ready too. In a rush, Jungkook haphazardly threw together a cohesive outfit and almost symmetrical pigtails but Kyomi was cute no matter what, she wasn’t the one with the problem. “Bub, do you think daddy looks better with his hair up or down?” Asking for advice from his 4-year-old daughter was about as low as Jungkook was willing to stoop, but if anyone knew him well, it was her. “Down. I can pull on it then!” She giggled, her advice entirely unhelpful in the long run, although the visual of you pulling his hair in an entirely different context had seemed enticing. Focus, Jeon. This is not a date. But it sure as hell felt like one.
And you weren’t doing much better, in fact, one could say that you were doing worse. “Jin, is this dress too much? I think it’s too much? Oh god, you think it's too much too!” A hot mess would be a severe understatement, Jin hadn’t seen you this rattled since your first ever mock trial and those were grim, grim, times. “Y/N, calm down. How about that cute white skirt you have? I think it’ll pair nicely with your pink crop top.” Jin did a good job at guiding you through the first crisis, but hair and makeup was an entirely different battlefield. “Go natural.” “What if I’m ugly natural?” Jin groaned, you weren’t even trying to be modest, this was a genuine concern. “You’re beautiful okay, stop overthinking you’re making us both stressed.” “You’re right, this probably isn’t even a date.” Jin sighed in frustration, he couldn’t win with you. “He asked you out to lunch. It would’ve been the perfect date if you didn’t drag his daughter along. Are you sabotaging this, do you still think you’re undeserving of love?” There was a lot to unpack in that sentence and Jin realised he went too far when you began to spiral. “Bad joke, I’m sorry. Look, you’ve spent time with him before without short-circuiting. You can do it again.” You just needed to remember that.
“I’m so sorry for being late!” You crashed into the booth Jungkook was in, barely missing the corner of the table as you tried to catch your breath. “It’s fine.” His lighthearted chuckle supported his statement but you still felt bad, even if it was just 10 minutes, it was not a very good impression. “Y/N!” Kyomi exclaimed from her seat next to her dad, she was cute and despite her betrayal (choosing Suzy over you </3 ), you couldn’t even hold it against her. “Hey cutie! I love your pigtails.” She giggled as you reached over to play with them. “Daddy did them for me.” Jungkook had a smug smile, shrugging to emphasise his apparent finesse. “I can tell.” Your sarcasm was met with an offended gasp but Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to feign offence when you were laughing so ecstatically. You always had a beautiful smile, he was glad he didn’t ruin that.
It was quiet for a while until Jungkook spoke up. “So, um- how’s Junghyun?” You lowered the menu to look at Jungkook who was deflecting eye contact by keeping his eyes trained on the list of specials. This was the first time he ever brought his family up, you tried to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. “He’s doing well actually, trying to start his own graphic design business. He’s engaged too, I haven’t met her yet though.” Jungkook tried not to let his relief show, but there was a weight on his shoulders ever since you told him Junghyun wasn’t doing well emotionally 4 years ago. He felt 200 pounds lighter. “Has he- Uh, When’s the wedding?” It wasn’t hard to see that Jungkook was struggling, after all not seeing your family for 6 years only to hear about them thriving without you was a hard pill to swallow. He was happy for his older brother, truly, but he kind of wished you had said that he missed him miserably. It was selfish, but he couldn’t help it. “Hasn’t set a date yet but you’re on the guest list, you know?” Your voice was soft, you were testing the waters, afraid to say something wrong. Jungkook’s knuckles were turning white from his iron grip on the menu. Evidently, even Kyomi could sense the tension. “I want ice cream.”
After a substantial amount of convincing and a promise for ice cream in the near future, Kyomi caved into getting an actual lunch instead of dessert. She had settled on a kids meal which consisted of a mini burger, fries and a juice pop. Frankly, you were quite jealous, you wanted a juice pop too. “Schnitzel for the lady. Steak for dad. How’s the meal kiddo?” Your waiter had been quite perky, he was probably your age, maybe younger but had a contagious smile and a likeable personality. Kyomi responded with a cute smile and a thumbs up, she knew not to speak while she was eating. Jungkook should write a parenting book.
“So, how have you been?” You were two bites into your schnitzel when you choked. “Shit, Y/N, chew.” You glared at him while drinking the water he’d thrusted into your hand. “Bad word, daddy!” You watched as Kyomi gave Jungkook’s bicep a playful punch. Your attempt not to laugh was a feeble one. “Should I learn the heimlich before I ask the next question?” “Funny, Jeon. Actually, I’ve been okay. I’m trying to be financially independent so I got a job at the campus library but my parents still pay my rent so its kind of counterproductive.” Jungkook gave you a skeptical look, one that ensued judgement. “Okay before you judge!! Rent is expensive and with a blackhole of a roommate like Jin, groceries literally take up half my pay cheque.” He held his hands up in defeat as he chewed through a mouthful of his medium-rare steak.
“Trust me, I know how expensive living alone can cost.” Jungkook didn’t mean to bring up his past or make you feel guilty for relying on your parents but he had done just that in one mere sentence and the tension thickened to the point of borderline tangibility. “I really am sorry you had to do that, Jungkook. But look at how well you’re doing.” You took his hand into yours and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You’re like carbon, you’re the strongest under pressure.” “You just had to slip a chemistry analogy in didn’t you? Nerd.” You snatched your hand away with an angry huff and Jungkook couldn’t say he didn’t miss your soft grip. “Way to ruin the moment.” You bitterly began to cut at your schnitzel again while Jungkook’s devious laughter filled the silence. It wasn’t until Kyomi innocently joined in that you felt true offence.
After you had finished your satisfying meals (although you did have to force Jungkook to help you finish your fries) Kyomi, who seemed immune to the exhaustion of eating, had demanded to be taken to the nearby park and who were you to deny her? Seated on a nice patch of grass under a tree, you watched as Kyomi played on the playground. Jungkook let you sit on his jacket because you were worried about your skirt getting dirty, perhaps chivalry wasn’t dead? “I regret wearing a skirt. I’m sorry about your jacket.” You were staring up at the sky through the breaks in the tree’s canopy as you spoke, Jungkook had his eyes trained on his daughter.
“Skirt’s cute.” When you turned to look at Jungkook, you weren’t surprised to see a stoic expression but you felt the blush creep up at his compliment anyway. “Thanks, I like your ripped jeans, they scream ‘millennial desperate to relate to the youngsters’” Jungkook’s scoff at your brutal backhanded compliment was loud and aggressive, he even broke concentration on his daughter for a split second to send a fierce glare your way. “Never complimenting you again.” You pouted jokingly, batting your eyelashes at him for comedic effect. “Oh, come on, I said I liked the jeans!” Jungkook’s hand moved to squeeze your face on impulse, by the time he thought to stop it, it was too late. “You’re trouble, Y/N, what happened to the good girl I knew 6 years ago?” The butterflies that had been dormant in your stomach for far too long had suddenly began flying with newly established speed. You stuck your tongue out at him after he let go of your cheeks to distract yourself from your newfound urge to jump him. Was he always that alluring?
“Daddy!” Kyomi had bombarded Jungkook’s lap with a force only a 4-year-old could possess. “Oof- what’s wrong, sweetheart?” She pointed to a small poodle who was walking through the park on a leash next to an old woman. “I want to pet it but I’m too scared to ask.” Jungkook groaned, head lulling backwards tiredly, the poodle was pretty far and he really didn’t want to get up. “I’ll take her?” Kyomi looked at you with hopeful eyes and Jungkook quickly nodded, the dog looked harmless anyway. “Come on, let’s go.” You held your hand out for Kyomi to take but she was far too excited to merely hold your hand, she dragged you forwards quickly, breaking out into a sprint towards the white fluff ball.
Jungkook watched you from a distance, glad he had someone to help when he was too prideful to ask. You had a weird intuition, some kind of radar for when Jungkook needed assistance. Like a spidey-sense, for a lack of better a word. Seeing Kyomi happy, genuinely happy, with you made his heart clench in his chest painfully. He knew whatever you both had was temporary, you’d eventually leave. At the end of the day it was just Kyomi and him. They only had each other and Jungkook couldn’t help but feel like he wasn’t enough. “Daddy, daddy! She was so soft and her name was Miri and she was 4 years old! Just like me!” Jungkook made room in-between his legs for his bubbling daughter, like this he was at eye-level with her and could see the way her dimples grew when she smiled up close. Jungkook never thought he could love someone as much as he loved her but then again there were a lot of things in Jungkook’s life that he never knew were possible. Like reconciling with you, for example, or the spontaneous urge to kiss you in that very moment.
When Kyomi had returned to the playground, Jungkook couldn’t help but look at you gratefully, conveying the ‘thank you’ on the tip of his tongue. He was surprised when you moved to lay down, head on his leg which had been stretched out as he leaned back against a tree. When Jungkook hadn’t pushed you away, you took it as a sign to alleviate the awkward tension. “You should trim your nose hairs.” He looked down at you, hand grazing against his nose. “I already do? You know what let me see yours.” In attempt at being playful, Jungkook unconsciously positioned his face far too close to yours and you felt your heart rate soar exponentially as you giggled, trying to hide your nose from his prying eyes. Eventually he stopped to look at you and it felt like time stopped too, but before he could even think about inching closer, you pushed him away. You had to keep him at a distance if you didn’t want to get attached. “My nose hairs have nothing to do with your’s old man.” Jungkook couldn’t fight the smile plastered on his face.
“You’re fucked.” Namjoon stated, holding up pads that Jungkook was punching into for warm-ups. “I’m not, it was probably just the fact that I haven’t gotten laid in a few months.” Jungkook regretted telling Namjoon about the weird feeling in his chest because the wise man had immediately assumed the worst. Love. “Then get laid, I assure you, you’ll still wanna kiss her.” Namjoon was joking, he knew that, but he couldn’t help but feel as if there was some truth to his words. All he needed was a one night stand to rid himself of the intrusive thoughts. But he wasn’t sure if he was ready. Every sexual experience after her had been hard, he had a constant fear in his mind that something would fail and he’d end up like he did 4 years ago; alone, confused and too young to be a father.
“Head in the game, Jeon. Your punches are distracted.” Jungkook didn’t even hear his coach come in which only solidified the man’s concerns. “You okay? You’ve been off lately and if something’s wrong we need to fix it before the semis.” In all honesty, a lot was wrong. Jungkook hated boxing, he liked the adrenalin but the fear that one day he may not come back to his daughter had him panicking every time he put the gloves on. Jungkook hated being alone too, but he grew accustomed to it and somehow the idea of you changing that made him sick to his stomach. Jungkook hated his family. Or at least that was what he told himself when he found himself thinking about his brother or his parents. So yeah, a lot was wrong but all Jungkook could fathom was a bleak ‘I’m fine’ as he stepped down to get ready for his actual training.
“You’re improving, and you have a real shot at winning this, Jungkook, I’d hate to see you throw it all away for whatever bullshit’s bothering you.” Jungkook couldn’t blame his coach for his word choice, the man was 38 and single and with Jungkook being 24, the idea of him having a kid had never slipped his mind. He couldn’t blame him for not considering things he didn’t know about but he sure as hell wanted to. “I don’t want to box anymore.” It was quiet, hushed and apprehensive. The words felt heavy on his tongue and for a second, he thought his coach didn’t hear them. “I know, I’ve known for a while actually, you’re not as happy when you win anymore and look, I get it, it’s scary, it’s hard and it’s demanding but if you win the title, you’ll be set for life. Then you can retire and never lift a finger again.”
Jungkook had put his blood, sweat and tears into giving Kyomi a good life. He bought a large house with more room then he could ever know what to do with, he set up a savings account that put more to her 4-year-old name than most adults he knew and he didn’t cheap out on insurance; property, car, contents, life, health, optical. You name it, he’s probably got it. But the thought of doing something better, having more to give her, was enough for Jungkook to push his doubts behind and accept another match. He would do anything for his daughter, and if that meant risking his life a few more times he could handle it.
“Okay, but after this season’s over I’m out. I mean it.” Jungkook’s coach merely smiled at him, gave him a strong pat on the back and muttered ‘good lad’ under his breath. Weirdly enough, he considered him the father figure he never had. After all, he gave him a job when no one else would and if it wasn’t for him, he’d still be grovelling for work on Namjoon’s couch.
After practice, Jungkook had decided to follow through on Namjoon’s premise, to test whether or not he really had feelings for you or was sexually constipated. It was dumb, and he had taken it way too literally but before he could even begin to stop himself he was messaging you.
You mind staying overnight? Have something I need to do.
Read 21:39
Jungkook wasn’t surprised to see you read the message instantly, you were always near your phone.
No biggie n are you sure it’s something and not someone? ;)
Read 21:40
You sent the message in hopes of getting a specific reply. ‘Nope, I’m just off to do some overnight yoga’ or something else that was equally as lame. You may have seemed uncaring in the message, but there was no way you were going to truly reveal the fact that you were jealous. That would mean you would have to acknowledge your feelings, and that could have been seriously damaging.
Read 21:47
Jungkook’s late reply and the fact that he dodged your question like a predictable bullet had said more than he wanted to. You told yourself you didn’t care, but it was hard to lie to yourself when you were convinced you had no reason to. You tried not to dwell on it and tucked your phone away. Kyomi was excited to hear about a sleepover.
Jungkook felt out of place. The bar was loud and far too busy for a Thursday night but he persevered, sucked it up and took an open seat. His predetermined fears of losing his game were abruptly disproven when a girl had approached him before he could get his first drink. He didn’t really remember her name, doubted she remembered his but the night didn’t go as well as he would’ve planned, despite it’s almost perfect start. When Jungkook had prepared to leave the bar with her, he failed to feel that sense of luck or enthusiasm. Frankly, he didn’t feel much at all and even if it was just a one night stand, he knew she deserved better. Jungkook faked a phone call and told her he had to leave, she seemed a little disappointed, but it was nothing she wouldn’t get over.
Jungkook liked you, as more than just a friend and he needed to deal with those feelings before they’d metastasise in his chest and suffocate his heart.
It was almost midnight and Jungkook didn’t want to return home on the off chance that you were awake and ready to bombard him with questions. Your curiosity was simultaneously the worst and best quality you possessed. He walked around, the city a lot quieter in the middle of a weekday night, it was peaceful despite the harsh lights. He kept going, walking down the relatively empty street with very little direction. Everything was tranquil, for a little while at least.
A drunk middle-aged man had stumbled into Jungkook, grumbling something about how he should watch out. Even though it was in no way his fault, Jungkook didn’t humour him and continued on his way, a mistake evident in the fact that the grumbling didn’t stop there. “Oi! You’re not even gonna apologise, you ass?” The man grabbed Jungkook’s shoulder harshly and forced him to face him, he attempted to throw a punch but Jungkook moved faster. He yanked his arm off his shoulder and pushed him away. “Oh, you think you’re tough, huh?” Jungkook merely sighed in exasperation. In an attempt to diffuse the situation, he tried to walk again but it was not received well. With a newfound sense of anger and feigned sobriety, the man kicked Jungkook, causing him to fall forwards and scrape his cheek on the concrete path.
At his limit, Jungkook chuckled before dusting himself off, he stood up, face to face with the man a few inches shorter than him. “I’m going to give you one last chance to walk away.” Instead of taking Jungkook’s peace offering (and he really should’ve) he tried to throw another punch but this time Jungkook did more than just block. Losing the semblance of self-control he had left, he punched back, hard enough to send the man to the floor. Before he left, he called a cab for the clearly intoxicated man and continued on his way; he was angry, not a monster.
Frustrated and exhausted, he decided to go home. To hell with your questions, he wanted to take a shower and sleep. When he had made it back to his car, he took a moment to collect himself and clean the cut on his face. He really hoped it wouldn’t scar, he couldn’t imagine having to explain the story behind it.
When he had finally made it back to his home, Jungkook wasn’t surprised to see all the lights off. He didn’t expect to see you splayed out on the couch, though. Jungkook’s eyes panned over to the television, you were watching Ppongebob this time, he’d have to thank you for ensuring you were child-friendly at all times in his home later. Jungkook slowly made his way up the stairs so not to wake you and just when he thought he was out of the woods, he dropped his car keys and watched as they tumbled loudly down the glass staircase. There was no way you’d sleep through that.
You woke up panicked and sat up quickly in a haze. A bit like a meerkat but Jungkook could laugh about that later. Your eyes darted around to find the source of the noise and Jungkook could visibly see your shoulders slump in relief when you saw his figure at the top of the stairs. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.” He was apologising sheepishly, hand on his neck as he deflected eye contact. You were more concerned about the cut on his cheek. “What happened to your cheek? Why are you home so early? Wait what time is it?” Jungkook didn’t know which question to tackle first, in fact he had really hoped you’d skip out on the interrogation. “It’s 12:48am, just sleep here, it’s too late to go anywhere. I’m guessing you know where the guest room is?” You nodded in response as you rubbed the sleepiness from your eyes. Jungkook felt guilty for waking you up, especially when you looked up at him with glossy eyes and puffy cheeks.
You definitely knew where the guest room was but there was a reason you never used it. First and foremost, it had a really big window that just so happened to showcase the trees surrounding Jungkook’s property. It was terrifying at night and there was no lamp. You could deal with the dark, but not when there was a scary window and far too much empty space. That’s why you preferred to sleep on the couch but there was no denying that you would not survive overnight on the uncomfortable leather. Just a nap was enough to make your shoulders hurt. Why are expensive couches always so uncomfortable? You took a deep breath and made your way to the guest room. You could do this, you were a grown woman, it was just a room.
It took you approximately 45 minutes of laying so incredibly still you may have petrified yourself for you to realise that you could not, in fact, do this.
The quiet patter of your feet could be heard in the halls, amplified by the empty space. When you finally reached what you assumed to be Jungkook’s room, your hands stopped tentatively on the handle. “Jungkook…” You whispered quietly, peaking your head through the door you had opened slightly so not to wake him abruptly. “I’m awake, what’s up?” You let out a sound of relief. “Thank god, do you mind if I sleep here with you?” Jungkook choked on thin air. You were startled by his coughing fit but moved closer to pat him on the back nonetheless. “What’s wrong with the guest room?” He spoke through huffs as he regained his breath. You prepared yourself for the embarrassment of having to explain your irrational fear of the room. “It’s scary.”
Jungkook tried not to laugh at your turmoil it wasn't hard to notice that you weren't kidding. "Seriously? " he tried in hopes that it would somehow make you realise just how ridiculous you sounded. However, he did not compensate for your previously established stubbornness or the severity of your fears. "Just let me sleep here, I can sleep on the floor if you want?" Jungkook didn't want you to sleep on the floor, but the idea of sleeping next to you terrified him. You felt the same, in fact, this went against your significant rule to stay as far away from him as possible. But, sleep was a necessity you couldn't compromise no mater how many heart palpitations being close to him gave you.
“No, no, it’s fine. I’ll take the guest room.” That option also ran through your head, however, seeing Jungkook’s room and it’s parallel windows you realised it was not much better. “Why do you not have curtains?” The question caught Jungkook off-guard, he was half-sitting, ready to evacuate the bed so you could take over. “I wake up early and my house is surrounded by trees so no peeping neighbours. Never needed them.” He shrugged after his simple explanation and surveyed the way you bit your lip in concentration while staring at the two large windows in his room. “Not a fan of the windows?” You looked back at him and felt guilty. He looked tired and you were the one thing stopping him from rest. You could handle one sleepless night, or maybe you would take your chances with the couch. “You know what, I changed my mind I’m being ridiculous. I’ll sleep in the guest room, okay?” You scrambled out of the room before Jungkook could even protest but there was no way he would be able to rest easy knowing you were uncomfortable at his expense.
So, a good 15-minutes after you had sprinted out of Jungkook’s room like it was lit on fire, he had made his way to the guest room downstairs. “Still can’t sleep?” Jungkook’s house was so dark at night that you could barely even make out his silhouette which made his spontaneous voice all the more terrifying. Jungkook heard a small yelp, a crash and then a muffled groan of pain. He switched on the light only to see you cradling your elbow which had presumably collided with the bedside table. “I’ll be fine, I’m just dramatic.” Jungkook clearly wasn’t buying it and you felt your throat constrict, growing tighter with each step he took towards you. “Scoot over, I like sleeping on the side closest to the door.” Huh? Who would’ve thought Jungkook wanted to be the first dead in a house invasion? “Suit yourself.” You made room for him next to you because the fear of whatever the hell you felt for Jungkook was slightly smaller than your fear of those goddamn trees.
“Should we make a pillow wall?” Jungkook was glad he had switched off the lights so you couldn’t see the amused smile on his face. “I can keep my hands to myself, how about you?” You gulped, almost positive Jungkook could hear how fast your heart was hammering against your ribcage, or maybe he could feel the heat radiating off of you as if you were a piece of molten rock. “I’m good.” You tried to reply but it ended up sounding more like a squeak. Thankfully the words were coherent because all Jungkook did was turn over.
With his back towards you, a weight was lifted off your shoulders but you couldn’t quite sleep yet. You had a habit, a stupid, overgrown habit of cuddling your almost infinite supply of stuffed animals to sleep. It started when you were young, to fill the void that your broken family left you and stuck well into adulthood because you were just as lonely, if not even lonelier. You should really see a therapist. However, what truly troubled you was the possibly precarious fact that at any given moment, your need for something to hug would manifest itself into your subconscious and force you to hug Jungkook despite the inappropriateness of the action. The embarrassment of a situation that hadn’t even occurred yet was already beginning to daunt on you.
So you turned your back to face the windows (which didn’t seem all that scary anymore) in hopes of minimising your risk of unsolicited cuddling. Sleep came easy after you had focused on synchronising your breathing with Jungkook’s out of pure convenience and once you had slipped into unconsciousness, you could slowly feel your anxiety slip away.
When you had woken up the next morning to a body close to yours, you began to feel panic swallow you almost immediately but once you had finally blinked the blurriness away from your vision, you realised you were in the exact same position you had fallen asleep in, except this time a little bit closer to the centre of the bed. One look downwards made you aware of the fact that Jungkook was the one cuddling you and he had somehow pulled you closer to him throughout the night. ‘I can keep my hands to myself.’ He said. What a liar.
You couldn’t say it didn’t feel nice and you selfishly tried to fall back asleep in hopes of making the moment last just a bit longer. When you turned your head to face Jungkook, he had been deep in slumber and it was the most peaceful you had seen him since - well, did you ever really see him at peace? Jungkook must have somehow sensed your gaze because he was blinking the sleep away from his eyes moments later. “Morning.” His morning voice was warmer, less sharp and yet all the more comforting. You were too busy being stressed about being caught admiring his sleeping face to truly appreciate his voice. “Morning.” You replied apprehensively, as if you could somehow postpone your humiliation.
“You were about to fall off the bed so I pulled you away from the edge, guess I feel asleep like that, sorry.” Jungkook was pulling his arm away before you could beg him not to and suddenly, the sound of small feet and ragged sniffles had engulfed the room. “Daddy! Thank god!” Kyomi jumped onto the bed, in-between your bodies, with a brute force, no mercy for Jungkook’s organs which had definitely experienced some internal repositioning. “I thought you were dead. I woke up and you weren’t in your room. You’re always in your room, daddy!” You tried not to laugh at Jungkook’s glazed expression, his perception of reality was just beginning to form.
“Sorry, baby, won’t happen again.” Jungkook’s groggy, deep morning voice may have been the very reason you were having unnecessary intrusive thoughts at 8:49am on a Friday but you wouldn’t dare stop it. Wait, 8:49am?
“Shit, I’m gonna be late to class.” You rushed out of the bed, barely untangling yourself from the mess of limbs between Jungkook’s legs and yours. “That’s a bad word, Y/N!” “Sorry!” You screamed back from the living room as you searched frantically for your bag. Any other class you wouldn’t mind being late to but your torts professor was pure, unadulterated evil. Satan’s incarnate if there ever was one and you did not want to be stuck helping her grade first-year papers on Saturday. “You look like you could use a ride.” There it was again, that sexy, stupid voice that made you want to scream into the void without ever stopping. “Yes please.” Once you had finally found your bag, you were rushing to shove your feet into your sneakers. Thankfully you didn’t wear converse, that could’ve been a disaster.
Jungkook grabbed his wallet, keys and daughter before meeting you at the door. You were much too stressed to wait for him to put on a pair of shoes so you snatched the keys from his hand and ran down his driveway. “Wait, Y/N, you’re not driving!” There were many reasons you shouldn’t have been behind the wheel. One, you were still on your learner's permit. Two, there was a 4-year-old child in the vehicle. Three, you were very likely to end up speeding to get to class and finally, Jungkook’s Mercedes was far too expensive to risk third-party damage, even if he had every kind of insurance. “I know, I’m just turning the engine on so you can floor it the second you get in.”
He did not floor it.
Alternatively, Jungkook was just about the safest driver you had ever seen. His driving style in stark contrast to the tattoos that littered the hand he had on the wheel, stretching all the way up to his shoulder. You couldn’t help but wonder if he had any tattoos underneath his shirt. Snap out of it. “So, when’s your class?” Jungkook looked at you through the rear view mirror and could faintly see the top-half of your head as you combed through your hair and applied makeup. Jungkook could feel the corners of his lip upturn at the way your tongue peeked out the corner of your mouth while you concentrated on your mascara. You just woke up and you still found a way to make his heart stop.
“9:30, but my professors a real b- bad person.” You corrected yourself before Kyomi could in her booster seat next to you. You told Jungkook sitting at the back gave you more room to get ready, really you just wanted to see more of Kyomi before your inevitable death. “You’ll make it on time, don’t worry.” You hoped he was right, the university was a 15-minute drive at it’s fastest and Jungkook, in spite of his gorgeously intimidating looks, was not hurled out of a Fast and Furious movie.
Jungkook was right, you made it to class at 9:20, a little disheveled and in yesterday’s clothes (you really hoped that the sweatshirt you fished out of Jungkook’s trunk per his instruction would cover that up) but otherwise fine, and early. You would live to see another day. However, you could not say that you were able to stay awake for the entire duration of the lecture, thankfully, nobody seemed to notice and when the class was finally over, all you could think about was sleep.
Two days later, you had woken up early in the morning with a heavy groan. You had a shift at the campus library. 7-12. You stretched out the exhaustion in your bones but it did little to help, you were far too young to feel this much back pain. “Hey, I’m going grocery shopping today so make sure to update the list before you leave.” You threw a meagre thumbs up towards Jin in response, but your roommate didn’t care for your disgruntled demeanour. You were always like this before your shifts.
Not even 2 hours into your shift, you saw the devil’s incarnate before your very eyes. “Hey, cutie, whatcha doin’?” You ignored the urge to gag as he threw finger guns your way, Jensen definitely had it out for you. “Working but you already knew that. Why else would you be in a library? You don’t read.” It was true, Jensen rarely ever stepped into this place before you started working there. His commitment to annoying you was admirable even if he lived on campus. “I’m here to see your adorable face.” Jensen pinched your nose playfully and you flinched at the impact, he was so goddamn irritating you were very literally considering homicide.
“Look, I know we haven’t always gotten along, but I really want to try to make amends and you’re not helping.” If this had been anyone else, your harsh resolve may have faltered, you may have felt sympathy even. But Jensen was one stone cold mother fucker, making amends would not benefit him in anyway and was therefore not on his agenda. He wanted something from you. “What do you want? Did you really lose that Dickens book? Because I can’t help y-” “Hang out with me.” Flirtatious comments weren’t outside of his norm, he employed them often for extra annoying affect™ but Jensen never asked you to hang out or hinted that he may have been the slightest bit interested in you, even platonically. “No.” You deadpanned, you genuinely believed that he had some sort of ulterior motive, he must have if he was coming to you for friendship.
“Come on, just one time. One time, and if you don’t realise that I’m not the asshole you think I am I’ll never speak to you ever again, I promise.” The idea of a Jensen-free life was extremely intriguing, after all you were confident that you would still find Jensen an insufferable asshole after whatever kind of hell he’d put you through. He clearly thought he could use some of his outdated boyish charm and win you over. You were more than happy to crush his ego and get rid of him in one night. Two birds with one stone. “Why, you never found me interesting before?” “Wrong, I always found you interesting not my fault you hate my guts. Look, in all honesty I’m sick of sleeping around and partying with people who secretly hate me. I want to spend time with a genuine person for once and even though you despise me with every fibre of your being, you’ve been upfront and sincere with your feelings since day one. I need that.”
What was that? Were you feeling remorse? For Jensen? Really? This wasn’t going to end well.
“Fine, but how do I know you won’t just keep annoying me?” Jensen froze for a moment, almost as if he was in thought, too bad he was not capable of thinking. Suddenly, Jensen surged forward to place his mouth next to your year. He whispered something very despicable that he had done to his father’s car and pulled away. “If you want nothing to do with me and I don’t leave you alone then you can tell my father what I just told you.” Blackmail, bold of him to assume you wouldn’t hold this over his head for the rest of his life, if it was even true of course. In the case that he was lying, you’d just end up in the same position you were in and if he was telling the truth, then you would live a very peaceful life for the semester and a half you had left. It seemed like a worthy bargain. “Deal.” Before you and Jensen could shake on it, your phone rang.
You weren’t technically supposed to answer but the library was dead and the librarian was on her tea break so what was the harm in a quick phone call? “Hello?” You learnt from your mistakes and read the caller ID that time, after realising it was Jungkook who probably wanted you to babysit Kyomi again, you answered quickly. Jensen noticed the smile that immediately overtook your face. “Hey, Y/N.” “What’s up? Need me to watch Kyomi?” Jensen was trying to deduce from the snippets of the conversation, who could make you smile that brightly. On the other side of the phone, Jungkook was bitting his lip, cautiously questioning whether or not he was making the right decision; acting on his emotions had never ended well for him.
“No, I just dropped her off she’s at a playdate with a friend she met at the park a while back. Her mom’s amazing, helped me a lot with parenting tips.” Jungkook overshared and deflected, he did that often when he was nervous but there was no way to stop the word vomit from flowing out. “Oh, that’s so cute!” You were grinning and Jensen was appalled at the sight, he even mocked your tone ‘oh, that’s so cute!!!’ and you flicked his forehead with a scowl, mouthing ‘shut up’ in response.
“I was wondering if you wanted to join me for lunch today, we could watch a movie after too? If you’re not busy.” If Jungkook was nervous, you couldn’t tell. He spoke with a tone so confident you wondered if you had actually hung out like this a million times already. “I would love to, I get off work at 12!” You agreed on impulse, before your brain could catch up with your racing heart. Jensen spared you from the mocking, but he couldn’t deny the way his chest tightened at your beaming acceptance, if only you could respond to his proposals that way. After the words had left your mouth and Jungkook promised to pick you up after your shift, you were left with your thoughts which had to make room for a new revelation. You liked Jungkook, borderline loved him and no amount of physical distance could change that.
Deep in thought, you began to think that perhaps, you weren’t destined for solidarity. Perhaps, you were as deserving of love as everyone else. Perhaps, and this was merely hypothetical, there was hope. You were being dramatic, blowing things out of proportion but how could you not when Jungkook had suggested something that sounded a lot like a date. However, considering how the last almost-but-not-quite-there ‘date’ had gone, this could have very well been just another platonic invitation to do platonic things.
“Y/N, hello? Earth to Y/N?” You broke out of your trance after Jensen had started snapping at you like a puppy. “Oh my god, what do you want?” There it was, annoyed Y/N was back and Jensen felt a sense of accomplishment every time you glared at him “Who was that?” “No one.” Your defensiveness definitely alluded to something. “Is it a boy? Is he cute?” “I already agreed to your stupid scheme, you can go now.” “You like him, don’t you?” You whined at his incessant prodding and Jensen knew he struck gold. Was it upsetting that you were already interested in someone? Yes. That didn’t matter though, especially when Jensen promised you he was looking for nothing more than friendship. He could set his entirely unexpected feelings aside.
When you had gotten back to your apartment, you had 40 minutes before Jungkook would pick you up which was objectively enough time to get ready for a casual lunch. However, that justification would not stop you from stressing over what to wear, nothing on god’s green Earth could. Jin was busy grovelling through all of his achievements to apply for a TA position in hopes of easing the fees from his masters and you weren’t in the mood to deal with his wrath (which was inevitable every time you distracted him).
You settled on a white velvet white sweater and a pair of leggings. You looked comfortable and not quite like you had rolled out of bed on a bad day. You decided to forego any makeup because overdoing it would have been much more embarrassing than underdressing. Before you could decide to completely change everything about yourself for the umpteenth time that day, Jungkook had called your phone, letting you know he was outside your building.
With a final look in the mirror and a cliche ‘you’ve got this, Y/N’, you were on your way.
Jungkook made some sort of creamy pasta, you couldn’t remember the name for the life of you because your mind had been flooded with thoughts of how gorgeous Jungkook had looked. You’d seen him in workout attire, in a suit and yet his homely look was hands down your favourite. You clearly were not doing a good job at hiding that. “You okay? You look like you saw a ghost.” You might as well have because you were just as, if not more, afraid then you would’ve been in the case of a supernatural interaction. At least a ghost was clear with their intentions. You had no idea why Jungkook had invited you over looking like sex on legs and the curiosity was killing you.
“You want something to drink, wine? Or are you still adamant on keeping your liver intact?” You briefly remembered when you had found Jungkook 17 and drunk, you could vaguely recall the lecture you had given him, something about your liver evidently thrown in there. “Water’s fine- wait, do you have apple juice?” Jungkook surveyed the contents of his fridge and reached in only to grab a kids pop top. He looked at you sheepishly, almost disappointed that this was the only thing he had to offer. “I can pour it into a-”
“And prevent me from the joy of the satisfying pop? Hand it over, daddy.” You didn’t mean it that way, you definitely didn’t mean it that way and if it wasn’t obvious from your tone, than the way you had merely focused on opening the seal on the juice rather than panicking like Jungkook was had done the job of conveying your very innocent intentions. That didn’t stop Jungkook’s mind from going there and you had picked up on your mistake when the room had fallen into an awkward silence. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” You offered a genuine apology, cheeks flushed with the realisation of what your actions had insinuated. Jungkook waved you off, stuffing his mouth with pasta to justify his speechlessness.
“This is really good. Did you buy it?” You gave Jungkook a skeptical look that he countered with a pointed glare while taking a swig from his wine. You were being entirely serious, before Jungkook had run away he was an abomination in the kitchen. “How many times do I have to cook for you to realise that I just became a culinary god?” You took the rhetorical question too seriously and Jungkook braced for the snarky comment you were going to inevitably make. “If you can make macarons, then you will officially be a culinary god.” Jungkook wasn’t big on baking, he made cupcakes with Kyomi for her fourth birthday but cupcakes were significantly easier than macarons. He made no comment and lunch continued on peacefully.
“You done?” You looked down at the almost empty plate that you hadn’t touched in a good few minutes and nodded. When Jungkook moved to clear the table, you offered to help but he shut you down so confidently there was no room for protest. You watched his broad shoulders clear the plates and rinse them. He grew up to be such an incredible man, he defied every one of his parents stereotypes triumphantly. He was successful, happy and had a beautiful daughter. All of that without a single ‘A’ in his life. “What are you smiling about?” He joked, hand coming up to flick the bottom of your chin playfully. You snapped out of your trance with a timid smile that pushed Jungkook to wonder if he had done something wrong.
In all honesty, you were trying hard not to focus on the way your heart would expand three times its size every time his eyes met yours. You were trying to ignore the way your hands would get clammy when he was near you and you definitely didn’t want to think about the jealousy that consumed you every time he spoke about a girl that wasn’t you. But you did and the question slipped off of your lips before you could stop it, like an avalanche against the crisp winter wind, you didn’t stand a chance. “Remember when you told me you were meeting someone a while ago…what um- what happened with that?” There was no way to stage the question cooly, no way to protect your pride and quench your curiosity. “Oh! I was meeting a sponsor.”
You stared at him flabbergasted.
“A sponsor? But you- you even asked me if I was seeing anyone!” Jungkook had the audacity to chuckle, chuckle, at your turmoil. You had been thinking about who Jungkook was meant to meet that night for far too long for it to just be a sponsor. “Wanted you to think I had my shit together. I haven’t dated anyone in a while.” You tried not to let your ego inflate at the notion that Jungkook wanted to impress you and hyper-focused on the last sentence which brought you an embarrassing amount of relief. “And Thursday night?” You watched as his gaze hardened at the mention of that horrible night, the cut on his cheek was still healing from the altercation. “Thursday night was a bust. I tried but I just couldn’t. All I could think about was Kyomi.” And you, but Jungkook knew better than to say that part aloud. You took his hand in yours, you were both standing in his kitchen and it was possibly the least romantic place of all but that didn’t stop you from staring at him with the softest, most loving eyes you could possibly muster. “Someone will come, and they’ll love you and Kyomi with their entire heart.” And it could be me, but you didn’t say that aloud either. Before the tension could get thicken, Jungkook diffused. “Movie?” You let go of his hand and nodded.
Choosing a movie was harder than you thought it would be.
“What?! Are you insane? I cannot believe you just said that. I can’t believe I let you into my house!” If a bystander had been listening, they would’ve assumed that you insulted Jungkook’s entire lineage but no, all you did was suggest that ‘Fast & Furious’ had too many sequels. “I’m sorry, okay. I just think 9 movies is pushing it.” “How many Harry Potter movies are there, like 50? You used to be obsessed with that shit.” You tried not to be offended at his choice of words, you took a deep breath before attempting to reason with him. “8 films actually and I’m not obsessed anymore okay… Let’s just watch the avengers or something.” His irritated gaze had softened at the mention of the MCU which was something you could both agree was worth your time. “Which movie is your favourite?” “Infinity war.” “You’re wrong, it’s Age of Ultron.” “That’s subjective.” “Not if you have good taste.” Well, the mere 15 seconds of peace were great while they lasted. You didn’t want to argue anymore so you merely nodded in defeat and Jungkook moved quickly to find the film on Disney plus.
However, for Jungkook’s favourite Avenger’s film, he had paid little attention to the movie. His eyes barely diverted from you for most of the opening of the film, it wasn’t until you faced him to laugh about some comedic foreshadowing that you had noticed his hazed stare. “Hmm, what’s wrong? Do I have something on my face?” He shook his head quickly before retracting back into thought until he eventually decided to voice his concerns.
“Do you remember when I was 14 and you chased me all the way to the beach because I was upset and wouldn’t tell you why? And I told you some assholes were making fun of my name and you told me that only you could make fun of me so you waltzed over to them the next day, a good foot shorter and yelled at them in front of my entire grade.” How could you forget when Jungkook had so vividly explained it. It was an embarrassing memory you tried to suppress but Jungkook had singlehandedly destroyed your efforts. “Yeah?”
“I was mad at you because you made me look weak in front of everyone in my grade but those boys never bothered me ever again and I never said thanks… So, thank you.” You looked at Jungkook who was entirely serious, not a single part of his face wavered under your astonished expression. Your mouth dropped in disbelief. “You’re welcome, I guess? Where’s this coming from?” You tried to pry into Jungkook’s brain and weirdly enough, he was willing to let you which was a peculiar thing he had done that quite a bit that day. “There’s a lot of thanking I have to catch up on, felt right to start from the beginning, no?” Movie long forgotten, you and Jungkook peered into each other’s eyes as if something behind those orbs was the key to existence. As if the answers to every significant philosophical question were woven into the streaks of your eyes.
Jungkook rarely acted on his hedonistic urges, an unexpected kid taught him not to, but he couldn’t help the way his lips gravitated towards yours. He wondered if you felt the same way, if you were thinking of some weird chemical explanation like electromagnetic radiation, whatever the hell that was. On Jungkook’s slightly uncomfortable couch, under a fluffy blanket with Disney princesses on it and watching a movie neither of you had been paying full attention to, you felt the most at peace you had been ever since your parents divorce. It scared you to think that Jungkook could make you that happy, especially when he so plainly not yours.
“Can I kiss you?” Jungkook whispered and you didn’t notice how close you had gotten until you could feel his breath on your skin, your body answered for you as you pushed to close the distance between your lips. If you were magnets, you would definitely be oppositely charged because you never wanted to pull away. Eventually, because oxygen was an innate part of life, you pulled away. You, far too eager, quickly chased his lips and in spite of every temptation that was stacked against him, Jungkook pushed himself away, still close enough so that your noses were touching. “I need to know that we’re on the same page here. I like you, Y/N and I want to give this a shot.” You couldn’t even begin to explain the relief that rushed over you and the excitement that coursed through your veins, interlaced with misplaced adrenaline that made you agree a little too quickly. “We are definitely on the same page.” And this time, when you had moved to kiss him, he didn’t push you away. Instead, your lips found purchase against his and as cliche as it sounds, it felt like home, being in his arms again despite the fact that you failed to get along in the ancient beginning. You depended on Jungkook for a long time once upon a time and you were elated to have him by your side again.
Before things could escalate - although with Jungkook’s heavy distrust in protection you doubted they ever would - Jungkook’s phone rang. The default Apple ring tone resonated in his apartment and you let him answer begrudgingly, already missing his lips against yours which were definitely swollen from all the biting. Jungkook was a good kisser, that was a fact written in stone. “Hello, everything okay?” His fingers moved to answer the call quickly, it was Jen, the woman who’s daughter Kyomi was hanging out with. “Everything’s fine, Jeon.” She chuckled into the phone at his worried tone, he was always worried when it came to his daughter even more so than her but she never blamed him. He was running a two-person ship alone. “The girls are both pretty tired, you mind picking her up before they start a fight over legos?” Jungkook laughed and you perked up at the mellifluous sound, trying to figure out who Jungkook was on the phone with that was more important than you. >:c
“I’ll be there soon, thank you so much for having her over. I’ll have to invite Sam over sometime too.” A few empty promises about future playdates later and Jungkook was finally off the phone. “Are you going to pick Kyomi up?” You asked, having deducted that much from the snippets of the conversation you had heard, Jungkook made a sound of agreement in response, stretching in front of the couch. “Can I come?” Your question painted a smile on his face, one he couldn’t put away even when he leaned down to give you a peck. “Of course, want me to drop you off?” You shook your head quickly, response far too quick which Jungkook couldn’t help but find endearing. Your cheeks flushed as you tried to find an explanation that didn’t make you sound like an absolute perv. “We um, haven’t finished the movie…” You pointed to the screen that was undoubtedly still playing the movie you had stopped paying attention to. Jungkook quirked an eyebrow at your obvious lie but made no move to debunk it, he just grabbed his wallet and keys off of the counter and cocked his head towards the door, gesturing for you to get up.
Kyomi knocked out in her booster seat, much too exhausted from the fun she had at her friend’s house. Your head was pretty much permanently turned to the backseat to coo at her. Jungkook kept trying to stop you, afraid you’d wake her up and he’d end up with a grumpy Kyomi. “Calm down, I’m just looking at her. She’s so cute.” Jungkook pinched your side when the car had stopped at a red light. “You’ll have all the time in the world to stare at her when she’s awake, okay? Once she wakes up it’s impossible to get her to sleep again.” You listened to Jungkook’s pleading and returned your focus to the road, his hand slipped from where he had playfully pinched you to rest on your thigh. In an attempt to hide the blush on your cheeks, you complained that the car felt suffocating and opened the window. Jungkook didn’t question it, at least not out loud.
Once Kyomi was safe in her room, sleeping away in the comfort of her bed that was probably worth more than your kidney, Jungkook returned to find you on the couch playing a cat game on your phone. It was really simple, but it seemed to occupy all of your attention enough for you to miss Jungkook entirely until his head was next to yours. You smiled when his lips pecked your cheek, his hand coming up to turn your head to face him. You kissed him distractedly, eyes still pinned to your game. With an annoyed groan Jungkook snatched the phone from your hand, discarding it behind him onto the couch. You whined into the kiss but paid full attention to him nonetheless, when he pulled away you were frowning.
“I was about to unlock a new cat, you know?” And it was a genuine issue, those cats were hard to unlock! Jungkook feigned sympathy which only seemed to piss you off even more so Jungkook pulled away, raising his hands in defence as he mumbled an apology. Wanting to get up, you moved to raid his kitchen for a snack. And yes, you understood that the man was a boxer who needed to stay fit but was it necessary to be so painstakingly healthy? His pantry was filled with wholegrain cereals, oats, nature valley bars and what you assumed was some sort of protein shake container. Even Kyomi’s snacks were healthy; raisins, popcorn, corn chips. No wonder he judged your food supply so harshly, this man was a living health commercial. You returned to the couch empty handed, hungry and annoyed. Were you exaggerating about the cat game thing? Sure, but the hunger had certainly played a part in your annoyance.
“You hungry? You didn’t finish your pasta.” God, he sounded like a dad more and more every time he spoke. “I’m okay.” You lied and drew your knees up to your chest to support your brooding face. You were being a little dramatic but you both knew well enough that it was all in jest, at least for the most part, that cat really did matter to you. “Mmm, I don’t believe you. I can make you something?” You shook your head and moved to grab the remote to his TV so you could finish the damn movie that he fought so hard to watch but doesn’t even care about, but, Jungkook wasn’t convinced. The way you snatched the remote told him you were far from fine even though you were not trying to send any subliminal messaging. He left the couch but you paid little attention to where he went, you probably should’ve because then you could’ve prepared your poker face for when he had returned with a plate of your favourite fruit. Consequently, you felt your frown begin to alleviate, and were your eyes softening? Over watermelon? You’re so whipped it’s disgusting. You stared at the plate of cut up watermelon like it was a marriage proposal. He remembered. Or maybe it was just a lucky guess.
“Ah ha! I knew this would work.” Jungkook had a proud smile on his face, mirroring your small one as he handed you a fork. You barely mumbled out a ‘thank you’ before you raided the plate, careful not to drop anything because you did not want to be perceived as a slob and you’d had enough of watermelon stains (thank you, Jin) for a lifetime. Jungkook sat back and paid attention to the movie he initially suggested, but he still had no interest in the film, not when you were next to him with red lips and focused eyes.
Jungkook had a lot to ask you and he had a lot of issues he needed to sort through but those were difficult things to navigate and Jungkook was sick of difficulty. He was lucky you were so understanding about the radio silence from your family and his but he knew that he’d eventually have to speak to them again, it was inevitable and that alarmed him. To think that at any given moment, 6 years worth of baggage could tear you both apart. “You should get seedless watermelons.” Jungkook turned away from his TV to give you a quizzical look. “They make those?” You almost choked on the last piece with a laugh. “Genetic modification, they can make anything. You know there’s apples with red flesh? They’re red inside and out, Jungkook, it’s so cool!” You could almost sense the ‘nerd’ sitting on his tongue but he didn’t say it, he merely smiled at you in disbelief. “You know what, Y/N, entirely red apples are cool!” Jungkook wasn’t trying to be sarcastic but he couldn’t skilfully feign interest in whatever the hell you were talking about. “Don’t patronise me.”
When you got up to put the plate away and wash your hands, Jungkook had come up behind you and wrapped his hands around your waist. You heard him coming, he wasn’t necessarily the quietest person ever but you could deal with a little noise if it always came in such a cute package. “Jungkook you’ve watched like 2% of your favourite movie. I’m starting to think you’re a liar.” Before you could continue your mischievous criticism, Jungkook’s lips began making their way down your neck, starting at the crevice between your ear and neck, all the way down to your clavicle. You were going to protest, push him away and declare that you were moving too fast but his lips were addictive, like morphine if the opioid made you feel like you were on cloud nine.
However, your cloud was temporary because the second the soft patter of small feet resonated off of the kitchen counter Jungkook had flinched away from you like a hand on a burning stove.
“Daddy?” Kyomi, still rubbing her eyes and far too young to understand the tension she had created had gestured grabby hands at her father who quickly moved to pick her up. “Hey cupcake, you still tired?” She shook her head despite the way her eyelids heavily rested on her eyes or the way her head kept nuzzling into his neck. He knew better than let her sleep any longer though, she’d keep him up all night. Speaking of things that kept him up at night, where did you go? The kitchen was now void of any presence other than him and his daughter and he couldn’t see you on the couch.
“Y/N?” He yelled out, a little concerned but more perplexed at the way you disappeared into thin air. “I’m in the hallway!” Jungkook, daughter still perched on his hip, made his way to his hallway only to see you shoving your feet into your shoes. “You’re leaving already?” Jungkook had a feeling, a burning intuition that you were upset about the way he reacted when his daughter had run in but you had to understand that introducing a girlfriend to a child was difficult. Wait, were you even his girlfriend? Did he manage to screw that up too? “I realised I have homework due in like an hour and I haven’t even started. I’ll take the bus it’s coming soon, anyway. Thank you for dinner and the watermelon! Bye bye, Kyomi.” You waved exaggeratedly to the little girl who matched your energy despite her tired state, you gave her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.
Jungkook believed you, your smile was genuine and you were mature enough to understand why he couldn’t exactly tell his daughter about you yet. Besides, it had been the very first time you had both perceived each other in a setting other than platonic friends. He wasn’t wrong, you were telling the truth but that didn’t change the fact that his actions left a bitter taste on your tongue.
“Daddy, I wanted to play with Y/N…” Kyomi was pouting, upset at the fact that you had to go right when she woke up and all Jungkook could muster was a sigh and a quiet, “me too.” And he was genuine, he wanted to spend more time with you but his daughter and increasingly tight schedule made that difficult. “Well, you’re stuck with daddy so I’m gonna count to twenty and if you’re not hiding, the tickle monster’s gonna get you!” Jungkook set his daughter down with intentions of distracting her (and himself) from your unexpected flight and she immediately began running away, loud giggles bursting through her cheery lips.
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“Are you sure it wasn’t a homie kiss?” You looked at Jin from your side of the coach with a glare so ferocious it might have very well killed the man. “I hope you don’t kiss your homies with tongue, Jin.” Despite your venomous tone, Jin appeared unfazed, smirking at your comment and hollering as loudly as one could in an apartment complex with neighbours who sent noise complaints about heavy breathers. “Damn! I can’t believe your first real boyfriend is a dilf.” You furrowed your eyebrows at his comment. “What do you mean ‘first real boyfriend’, what about Jimin?” “Lasted 2 weeks and you barely even kissed so it doesn’t count.” “Mark? We dated for 2 months!” “You barely even talked to each other and he was seeing another girl, so it doesn’t count.” Ouch. But okay. “What about Zen?” “The kid you told me you ‘married’ in elementary? Really?” You were out of options and Jin was right, Jungkook would be the first man you actually had genuine intentions of staying with for longer than a few months and that horrified you because if you were being honest, you knew that firsts were always destined for failure.
“I’m doomed.” You said the words with a heavy weight, as if you were speaking your damnation into existence. Jin flicked your forehead harshly, no mercy for the poor skin. “Ouch. Screw you, first you give me an existential crisis and then a bruise?” He was about to flick your forehead again but you were quick to defend. Before a petty flicking battle could ensue, Jin spoke again. “You’re such a baby, you won’t get a bruise. And you are not doomed, this is going to work out just fine, I can feel it in my left kneecap.” Jin often said weird things and you had gotten quite used to his absurd comments. Taking his claim at face value, you replied with a sincere concern, “the same one you dislocated last Summer? I’m definitely doomed.”
And you were indeed doomed but not in the way you had initially assumed you would be. It had been well over a month since your spontaneous movie date at Jungkook’s house and yet you still felt like his dirty little secret. He asked to be his girlfriend a little after your first date and he still hadn’t mentioned you to any of his friends nor did he let you meet them, even Namjoon had to find out about his best friend’s relationship from Jin. And his daughter? Jungkook wouldn’t even hold your hand when she was within a 100 foot radius and you while you tried to be understanding, anyone would have felt horrible in your position. You felt like you were unworthy, as if you didn’t fit Jungkook’s pre-conceptualised image of a perfect family. As if he didn’t see a future with you.
He treated you as if you were something he was ashamed of and with your complicated past, the insecurities that had begun to erode away persevered, becoming stronger than ever. But you couldn’t bring yourself to talk him about them; you were afraid you’d push too hard, be too dramatic and end up hurting him in the process. Jungkook was kind and extremely empathetic but that didn’t stop the haunting thoughts of your self-worth or the prying eyes of unknown on-lookers (who knew well enough that he was way out of your league) from making you feel like he wouldn’t understand.
Every second you spent with him felt beatific, blissful, because he made you feel like the most important person in the world, right up until you weren’t anymore and he’d push you away you like you were nothing more than his daughter's babysitter, or on good days, a friend. It was frustrating because he was so insanely addicting, more than any narcotic and yet you couldn’t have him when you wanted to. He made you happy and yet in moments when you were upset, you couldn’t reach out to him, at least not with the expectation of a timely response. Your dates with him (which were few and far between) felt like they were on a constant timer. Eventually, whether it was Kyomi or his job, something impenetrable intruded your only alone time together.
And while these feelings continued to slowly fester inside of you, rearing their ugly heads as they occasionally made you unconsciously bitter, they reached an all time high when you were watching Kyomi at your apartment one eventful Friday night. Jungkook was having a party the weekend before his semi-finals on Wednesday, a party he didn’t invite you to. But you didn’t take it to heart, or at least you thought you didn’t.
It was almost 1 am when Jungkook returned and Kyomi was fast asleep in your room. Sleep didn’t come to you as effortlessly as you wanted it to, not when your mind was hyper-fixated on the party Jungkook was at. He told you earlier this day that he didn’t want to throw another party but it was a tradition for the contenders and breaking that tradition would be ‘sacrilegious’. You didn’t feel like interfering with a realm you were very unfamiliar with and so you took Kyomi with open arms. But his discontentment with the nature of the party didn’t change the fact that no one knew you existed and there were going to be girls much prettier than you who would probably be interested in your objectively handsome boyfriend. No one ever told you that a major con of dating a a man that sexy would be the constant feeling of insecurity.
It was selfish and something you needed to work on alone so you never thought to bring it up to Jungkook; your jealousy was something you would have to learn to handle. But before you could imagine yet another scenario that would crush your weak, feeble heart, keys rattled at your door. You knew it was most likely Jungkook since Jin had assured you he was probably going to spend the night at his boyfriend’s. You gave Jungkook your spare key so he wouldn’t accidentally wake Kyomi up with the knocking, or you on the off chance that you actually got a semblance of sleep.
“Oh, you’re awake?” Jungkook looked tired, and it was evident in the ways his eyes were drooping. He could have been asleep if he had simply trusted you, a person he had known for almost his entire life, to take care of his daughter for just one night but he couldn’t bring himself to sleep if he wasn’t near Kyomi. You understood because it was reasonable to want to be near your child at all times but that day, those ugly heads were rearing, amplifying your frustration about every little thing that peeved you that night exponentially.
Withholding his trust was another thing you told yourself you’d have to understand but it didn’t make it any easier for your overactive mind to wrap your head around. Why couldn’t he trust you? “Couldn’t sleep.” you said curtly, and Jungkook picked up on your annoyed tone but made no move to address it. That was a problem he could deal with later when his head didn’t weigh 100 pounds. You were on the floor, back against the couch as you messed around with your chess board, playing different openings. Jensen had come over earlier in the day and you played a few games. Believe it or not, you were kind-of friends now.
“I see you’re still into chess.” Jungkook tried to spark conversation and you nodded absentmindedly in response before remembering something that would probably cheer the both of you up. You sat up quickly and turned to him with an excited smile. “I taught Kyomi a bit, she already knows the Sicilian! I’m sure she’ll forget it tomorrow, though.” You joked but Jungkook didn’t laugh; he didn’t even smile. In fact, it seemed as if he was scowling? “You taught my 4-year-old daughter chess?” Jungkook made it sound like it was a crime, as if you had singlehandedly ruined her childhood by teaching her how a few wooden pieces moved across a 8x8 board. “Calm down, It’s no biggie, I started learning when I was 3.” “How did this even happen? She told you she was bored and you thought to bring out the most boring game in existence?” You weren’t sure where his hostility was coming from but you were beginning to grow even more annoyed. A hostility of your own forming.
“It was out already when you dropped her off, without notice by the way, and she was curious. What’s the issue? You may think it’s boring but I like chess a-” “Kyomi isn’t fucking like you!” Jungkook cut you off with a stern yell, not loud enough to cause a scene in your apartment building but loud enough to risk Kyomi waking up. You both hadn’t thought of that in the heat of the moment. All you could think about was how his words cut right through you; a familiar sting you hadn’t felt in six years began to develop in your chest. Before you could even begin to respond, Jungkook kept going and sunk his proverbial dagger deeper into your heart. “And I don’t want her to be.” The room feel silent, no more were the clattering pieces of wood against the chess board or the chime of Jungkook’s chain bracelets as he moved his hands around. You finally realised what a deafening silence felt like because despite the tranquility, your heart had never been so loud in your ears. Drumming like the bass in a loud parade except there was no joy or laughter, just migraines and heartache.
You didn’t even know you were crying until Kyomi had emerged from your room, startled by the noise and your solemn face. “Daddy?” She shuffled closer to her father’s figure and his eyes widened when he realised she was awake, he really hoped she hadn’t heard what he said. “Daddy, why is Y/N sad?” Jungkook knew the answer quite well; because I’m an asshole who says all the wrong things when he doesn’t even mean them, but he bit his tongue as the familiar beginnings of a profusion of guilt began to accumulate in his chest. He thought he was over his issues with the past, evidently not.
“She’s just tired sweetheart, let’s go home, hmm?” Jungkook held his hand out for his daughter to take but she stayed frozen near him. Her large eyes that Jungkook was convinced held the galaxy were fixated on you who had been trying to wipe the perpetual waterfall of tears that wouldn’t stop escaping your bloodshot eyes. Like a splintering water dam, Jungkook’s words had been the final push needed to collapse the walls you spent your entire life building. Essentially, he’d opened the floodgates to your insecurities.
Were you really that horrible to the point where Jungkook couldn’t stomach the idea of his daughter liking the same things as you? How on earth were you supposed to move past this, stay together for as long as your life would allow if he couldn’t even handle the idea of his daughter being anything like you. Children were impressionable.
“Kyomi, we need to go, now.” Kyomi was intuitive enough to know that Jungkook only ever called on her by her real name when he was mad or upset. She knew from his stern tone that she should have listened and in spite of that, she ran over to you and offered a hug. Kyomi was well aware her dad would never hurt her and that assurance was enough to conquer her fears of being berated so that she could blatantly disobey him. The sight threw him for a loop. For four years of his life Jungkook and Kyomi had been loyal to each other, had each others backs whenever times were tough because they were all they had and yet there she was, showing you that same loyalty because you needed it and it was all his fault. He told himself that hiding you from his daughter would stop her from getting attached in a way that meant more to her than just a babysitter. Clearly he was too late.
Jungkook stood there as if he had anchors attaching his feet to your tiled floors. The sight of you holding his daughter in your arms as you choked on your tears brought a different kind of hurt into his life despite the fact that Jungkook was well versed with pain. From the punches he received or the degrading looks from the people who were meant to love him unconditionally or even the painful fear of staring a newborn baby alone and afraid; Jungkook knew pain like the back of his hand and yet he’d never felt it quite like this. “Kyomi, we really need to go. Dad’s tired.” You pulled her out of your hold and ushered her to her father, assuring the worried girl that you were fine, only emotional because you watched a sad movie. She believed you, mostly because she saw the way you balled your eyes out when you, Jungkook and her had watched ‘Hachi’. Kyomi thought you were one of the strongest people she knew and would therefore be okay. So, she left with her father feeling a little less worried than she was before.
Kyomi was wrong. You were definitely not strong and you were far from okay.
The next morning your eyes were swollen and your mouth was dry from the incessant crying that had to have drained you of at least half of your water content. You didn’t sleep, not even for a second and even though the headache pounding against your head was begging for relief you couldn’t bring yourself to eat so you could take any medicine. Jeon Jungkook was a mean man and while you knew that lie was not even remotely true, you repeated it in your head to make yourself feel better. Blaming him meant that you wouldn’t have to think about where you went wrong even though you knew that you should’ve talked to him about how you felt, maybe then you would be in his arms and not your messy, cold bed.
Jungkook had been punching the boxing bag in his home gym since 3am and the sun had fully settled into the room by the time he finally stopped. He hoped the exertion would make the agony in his chest alleviate but it only made things worse. No matter how many punches he threw or how much his legs ached he still thought of you. The image of your beautiful, tear-stricken face and the sounds of your broken sniffles were all he could think about every time he blinked. Jungkook was willing to let his eyes dry out if it would guarantee him peace.
Kyomi slept in that day, tired from her late endeavour where she had to comfort two adults. Despite Jungkook’s assurance, she did not believe he was fine. And he definitely wasn’t, so, when she insisted on sleeping on his bed with him he couldn’t bring himself to disagree. Jungkook realised well into the night that he couldn’t sleep so he spent the time training for what was undoubtedly going to be the second-most important match of his career. The first being the finals that were already set for the following Friday, he felt the weight of the unparalleled pressure that rested on his exhausted shoulders. This was Jungkook’s first national match and if Jungkook he were to win the next two rounds he would be the next national heavyweight champion. He would finally be able to spend every second with the daughter he loved more than anything else in his life.
Jungkook thought about messaging you, it crossed his mind more often than not but he didn't know what to say and spent an abnormal amount of time rewriting the same message over and over. "I miss you, I'm sorry." And despite Kyomi's urge to complain about her boring new babysitters or how much she missed you, she was well aware that her father needed peace so she kept her tiny mouth shut. She was right to do so, with the semi-finals steadily approaching Jungkook needed all the help he could get. Jungkook didn't like the idea of relying on his four-year-old daughter for emotional support so Jungkook pretended he was fine whenever she was around. Every other minute Jungkook coped by doing what he always did in times of doubt; continued training until his lungs gave out.
The day of the semi-finals had you seated at the edge of your bed with your phone tightly clasped in your hands. You waited, anxiously, for Jin's message that Jungkook was okay because even if he hurt you, you couldn't handle the thought of anything happening to him. Your leg vibrated with nervousness but the only vibration you truly paid attention to was your the one from your phone. With every notification that wasn't Jin, you could feel the worry laced with well-intended frustration seep into your bloodstream faster, making it difficult to breathe at a reasonable pace.
It was safe to say that you did not take Jungkook's criticism very well. You spent two days crying whenever you felt the slightest urge to, a day of working through misplaced anger, cursing men, chess, watermelon and everything that reminded you of the brown-eyed brunette which brought you to Wednesday, when all you could feel was the remnants of loss. You missed Kyomi and Jungkook and ironically, distance did make the heart grow fonder.
Philosophy: 1, Y/N: 0.
You were violently ripped out of your trance when your phone had vibrated in your hand's tight grip.
"He won and he's okay. Poor guy couldn't even get a good punch in."
You didn't fight the proud smile on your face or the sigh of relief that escaped from your lips. In the comfort of your room, you were your worst critic and you could argue the unethical-ness of watching people fight for sport any other time but that day you were solely glad that Jungkook was safe. When your phone vibrated a second time within 10 minutes of Jin’s message, you were expecting more updates from your roommate but you were pleasantly (that’s debatable) surprised to see Jungkook's contact light up your phone instead. While you were flattered that he immediately thought of you after winning the biggest match of his career, the message was a bleak "can we talk?" And you couldn’t say you were shocked, Jungkook was never a good texter but you agreed anyway. You knew ‘can we talk’ usually preceded a horrible break-up but it wasn’t like there was much room for the situation to get worse.
The night following Jungkook’s extremely anticipated win, he was wiping his clammy hands on the material of his jeans while waiting for you on his couch. Jungkook thought about what he was going to say over and over, perfecting everything to a tee with a figurative list burned into the side of his brain. He even looked at the small cardboard box of macarons he’d spent hours baking for you earlier that day. He was determined to win you back and if that meant being vulnerable (something he very much hated) then so be it. Jungkook would lay himself bare for your judgement. Before Jungkook could recite his apology one last time, his train of thought had been disrupted the second he heard the doorbell ring. When he opened the door, his eyes landed on your form, depleted and void of any joy, he had to swallow the lump that formed in his throat.
“Hey, come in.” He moved out of the way to make room for you and while you normally jumped into his arms straight away, you stuck to the far end of the hall, as far away from Jungkook as physically possible while you slipped off your shoes. Converse. He was glad to know you weren’t planning on making a quick escape. “Do you- uh, do you want anything to drink?” You shook your head, standing awkwardly in the open area between his kitchen and living room. Jungkook moved first, sitting down and patting the space next to him, gesturing for you to take a seat. He couldn’t say it didn’t hurt when you sat on the single chair to the right of his couch instead.
As Jungkook raked through his brain in hopes of finding the list he had so confidently confided in just a few minutes ago, you decided to speak first. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep my boundaries with your daughter.” Your voice was soft as always but it wavered, unsure, afraid and all he could do was hope that you weren’t afraid of him. “You don’t have to apologise for teaching her a game, Y/N.” Jungkook didn’t mean to come off condescending but he winced at the sentence the second it left his mouth. You looked a little taken aback and Jungkook wanted the ground to simply swallow him whole. God, he was notoriously bad at apologies. “Right…” Following your feeble attempt at filling the silent void was yet another silence that was not only awkward but uncomfortable. You were waiting for an apology, an explanation, an excuse, anything, you weren’t picky. You just wanted your boyfriend back.
“You know, when I first met Kyomi I had no idea she existed until I was in the hospital. Her mother was a one night stand I had at Namjoon’s friends party when I was 19. Isn’t that funny?” Jungkook laughed despondently at the mention of his bleak past. It hurt you to see him so pained so you tried to stop him. "You don't have to do this." "I do." Following his dour statement, you retracted, deciding to listen to what he wanted to tell you. “I didn’t even know she was pregnant but apparently she had some complications during the late stages of her pregnancy and the doctors told her she’d die if she went through with it. She had to deal with that alone, the fear of a situation that dire while I fucked around on Namjoon’s playstation. I was pathetic and she still put me down as her father.” Tears were beginning to well up in Jungkook’s eyes that grew increasingly glassy every time he blinked. You weren’t sure why Jungkook was telling you about Kyomi’s mother when he had been so adamant not to speak about her but you were glad he was opening up to you, even if it clearly hurt him to reopen the wounds of his past that only barely began to heal. “She went through with it anyway and I thought she was an idiot for it. God, she was only 22, who the fuck gives up their life for a baby they haven’t even met at 22?” Jungkook wiped a tear off of his face the second it fell and some of your own were beginning to sting your sensitive eyes which had grown rather sick of crying that week. But you couldn’t help it, not when Jungkook was so visibly upset about something that incredibly difficult, not when all you could think about was how hard it would be to recover.
“I got a call from the hospital a few hours after she was born; they told me I had a daughter over the phone and hung up, just like that. I brought an entire person into this world and found out about it the same way I order pizza. I felt sick and I didn’t know what to do so I ran to Namjoon all the way from my tiny ass apartment and he booked a flight with me, went to Japan with nothing more than a duffle bag he messily packed in the midst of the chaos. He stuck with me through the most difficult time of my life even when all I'd done for him is screw things up.” Jungkook was smiling with pride through the blur of his tears at the mention of the man he admired with every inch of his body. Namjoon truly was a saint and you were completely crying by the time he had confirmed that; trying to stay as quite as possible as Jungkook revealed out the darkest parts of himself to you. You could never tell he’d been through so much, how he kept such an agonising memory hidden from the world was beyond you.
“I didn’t know her well, barely knew her name but she sacrificed herself to bring Kyomi in the world. She trusted me, a stranger who was piss drunk at some college party to take care of the child she laid her life down for. I wanted- no, I want to make her proud. To let her know that what she did was worth it. She saw potential in me when no one else did, she gave me my miracle. Kyomi is the only reason I turned my life around and a lot of people tell me that I saved her, that I was so courageous for taking her into my care and not leaving her to the system, but she saved me. She’s the reason I am where I am today.” He paused for a second, and moved forward, reaching out to take your hand in his and coaxing you to sit next to him. It wasn't leering, you couldn't sense any ill intent if you'd looked for it so you complied, far too sympathetic to keep up your angry facade. When you were seated next to him, knees barely touching, he took both your hands in his, engulfing them to not only convey his emotions but to calm down his shivering hands. He looked at you with those same round Bambi-eyes that you remembered so well, the ones you thought he'd lost.
“Kyomi is exactly like you, Y/N. She’s smart, kind and picks up my slack whenever I screw up. She’s sassy when she wants to be and she always critiques every little thing in movies just like you used to do. I don’t know how, but I projected the parts of you that I loved the most onto her. I was afraid of being a horrible father, of doing what my parents did to me and putting too much pressure on her to succeed. I mistakingly associated you with that lifestyle. But, Y/N,” He moved his hands up to wipe away your tears and you continued to shy away from his haunted gaze, you were never good with eye contact and he knew that more than anyone else. Nonetheless, he held your chin softly and moved your face directly in front of his. “Look at me, baby. Your success had nothing to do with your parents, or mine or anyone else but you. You are not a product of the things I hated about my childhood and it was my mistake for thinking that for even a split second. I love you and I would love for you to stay in my life and Kyomi’s.”
That was the very first time either of you had said that you loved one another and even though you felt it for quite a while, you were always too afraid to speak it into existence. Even in that moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop sniffling enough to tell him you loved him and Kyomi with every nanometre of your heart. Jungkook forced your head onto his shoulder, nestling your face into the crook of his neck where your sobs began to settle. Thankfully, Namjoon had volunteered to take Kyomi out for ice cream while he settled the mess he'd made. He wouldn’t know how to explain making you cry again to her. “I love you too and Kyomi, so much.” Jungkook could barely decipher your words which were almost incoherent, muffled by his shoulder and your subsiding tears. “I know and I’m so sorry. I promise I'll do better.” You believed him.
You weren’t sure how long you spent in that position but by the time you pulled away you were sure you looked like a mess. Jungkook’s shirt was damp but his face was dry, you couldn’t say the same about yours with your eyes that had swollen up the slightest bit. You exerted them a lot that week, they definitely deserved a break. “You soaked through my shirt.” “I think that's the least you deserve.” You joked with a smile and he chuckled, glad that the joy he had sucked out of you began to trickle back in again. You yawned and stretched your limbs which had been contorted into a weird position while you were crying your heart out earlier. Suddenly, a deep sense of exhaustion had consumed you and all you could think about was sleep.
You didn’t need to tell Jungkook that you were tired, he saw right through you all the time, which would definitely end up being problematic. “Are you seriously falling asleep on me, Y/N?” You could tell he wasn’t serious, but you definitely were; your eyes were far too tired to stay open. “Just let me sleep here for a bit.” Jungkook laughed at your negotiating but he genuinely couldn’t let you sleep over that night, even though he really wanted you to. “I’m sorry babe, but I have to fly out tomorrow morning for the last match.” You groaned through his explanation while he weaselled his hands around your waist to bring you up right against his chest and out of your sleepy state. You caved, sitting up on your own to put distance between you and looking at him with a worried gaze. “You better be careful, okay? I mean it Jungkook, even if you have to forfeit mid round and look like the biggest pussy in the world, you better do it.” Jungkook would have snickered at your demands if you weren’t completely serious which, you were. “Yes ma’am.” Jungkook playfully saluted in response reminding you of the very day you met Kyomi. He was definitely lying, there was no way he would risk being the laughing stock of the season but he'd say anything to satiate your pleading expression. “Before you go, you should take this.” Jungkook handed you the box of macarons from his coffee table and you took it apprehensively, unsure of what was inside. You didn't want to seem cheap. “What is this?” Jungkook didn’t clear up much after your question, just said “proof that I’m a culinary god” and sent you on your way. Or more accurately, he dropped you off at your home.
That night, when you had returned to your apartment with a heart that was just beginning to heal, the poor muscle had received yet another blow. When you opened the door to enter the place that had been your safe haven for the past four years, Seokjin had been waiting for you in the living room. “Why are you just sitting there in silence, aren’t you bored?” Before you could hurtle another joke at the man, you noticed the papers on your coffee table and your smile fell instantaneously. Jin looked vacant, as if he had no idea how to feel. Read the room, Y/N.
“Jin, what is that?” Your mind tired not to jump straight to the worst case scenario but there wasn’t much else the papers could mean. Still, a part of you hoped he’d jump up and say ‘get punked!’ with the promise of never pulling a horrible prank like that ever again. He didn't, and you knew he never would. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. Your parents they-” He didn’t even need to finish, not that he could bring himself to. You collapsed onto the floor on the other side of the table, hands struggling to grab at the papers as your world had not only caved in on you but flipped in on itself and shaken you mercilessly. The universe had a weird way of working, trading one heartbreak for another. And to top it all off you had to find out about your parents' simultaneous deaths through death certificates mailed with express post.
Whatever deity there was in the heavens that controlled your life must have been playing a sick, sick, game. The worst part of it all (outside of your parents dying, of course) was that you couldn’t even call Jungkook, the man you grew up with, for comfort. Not when his final match was right around the corner and the topic of your family made him retract into his shell like a terrified hermit crab. Jin didn’t know what to say, you were clearly upset but he knew very little about your family, you never really mentioned them outside of what they did for a living. There was more that he needed to tell you but he didn’t know how.
“Also, the letter was sent by uh- by Jeon Jungyun… Y/N, does Jungkook have a brother?”
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Tag list: @ggukkieland @barbikatherine @yzkyzkuniverse @kookxin @namjeonii @euphoriagguks @/anon r :,) @simpforbangtan
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borathae · 2 months ago
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“Jungkook was sent by the Ravens of the Black Forest to kill the Queen of the Night Queendom. He hadn’t expected to find love when he climbed the high walls of the Queen’s castle and pressed a sharp blade against her throat.” 
Pairing: Bandit!Jungkook x Queen!Reader
Genre: Fantasy, e2l!AU, Smut, Romance
Warnings: LOTS of plot & worldbuilding omgmg, an assassination attempt, gags, ropes as bondages, switch!Jungkook, domish!Reader, knife play, blood play if you squint, choking, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, rough (angry) sex, crying kink ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ˡᵉᵗ'ˢ ᵇᵉ ʰᵒⁿᵉˢᵗ ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵐᵉ, mutual striptease, food play in the form of feeding (bruh it’s hot), they share a bath all nakedy 👀, Kook is such an angry boy in the beginning, lmao this whole story is sending me down a spiral tbfh
Wordcount: 19.9k
a/n: This is without doubt one of my fave stories I have written so far. I love the world I created so much. I hope you guys enjoy reading it just as much as I did writing it! 💜 also I know it’s long, but please give it a chance, it’s really good :(
~ Go to Index ~
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A cold blade against your throat wakes you. Your reaction is instant. You were prepared, waiting impatiently for the day to come. 
Your murderer is beneath you in an instance. His own blade is pressed right under his eye, your fingers have a tight grasp on his throat. 
He wiggles and growls, dark eyes glued to your face.
"Uh-hu", you warn, pressing the blade tighter to his skin. 
He grunts and eyes his shiny demise. 
"Fuck", he presses out, forsaking his fight against you. 
You tilt his head up, nails bruising his skin.
"Now tell me. Who could be so reckless to attack me in my bedchambers?"
"You have to kill me before I talk", he spits. 
You study him. Strong body with muscles that strain against his dark clothes. Pretty face with a chiseled jaw and soft cheeks, there is dirt and sweat on his skin. He is panting heavily, chapped lips parted. His nails are dirty and broken. That means he climbed up your walls. Logical. Your castle's wolves would have found him otherwise. Clever. Means he knew the grounds and your customs. 
"You climbed. Impressive. That would have been a high fall had you slipped. Fatal even." 
He growls and sits up, getting himself pressed down again. 
"It would have been worth it", he spits.
He is angry and filled with hate. It is directed at you. Interesting. People don’t normally look at you with such hatred. Which can only mean one thing.
"Ah!" he gasps, back arching in pain. 
You slashed through his shirt, cutting his skin in the process. He wiggles, finally showing you his strength. But you pin him down by his throat easily, ripping the shirt open with one hand. 
"I knew it." 
He snarls angrily, swallowing heavily because breathing is becoming terribly difficult. 
"You are one of them", you say, studying the raven tattoo on his right pec, "The Ravens of the Black Forest." 
He growls and fights harder. You figured him out. 
"Will you stop fighting against me?" you hiss, finally putting real pressure on his throat.
His eyes widen, fingers clasping your wrist. 
"Tell me your name." 
"Never", he chokes out. 
You squeeze harder, making his eyelids flutter. 
"You'd rather die than tell me your name? Your conviction is remarkable."
His body twitches, his lips opening and closing in search of air. You laugh. 
"Remarkable really. Such devotion could be useful. Also…" 
You drag the knife over his cheek softly.
" would be a waste to kill such a pretty face." 
You release his throat. He coughs and wheezes. 
"There, there you'll live. It will bruise but you will live", you soothe him, patting his chest.
He calms down slowly, staring at you with widened eyes. 
"Why would you spare me?" 
"Because I am not the monster you think me to be." 
He tries to sit up. 
"Stay", you order, pressing the blade right against his throat. 
He falls down on the mattress, licking over his lips nervously. 
"That's better", you smile, "now, I’ll give you one last chance to tell me your name before I call in my warriors and tell them to throw you into a cell to rot." 
"Call them", he hisses. 
You lower your eyes in anger. 
"Valkeria! Auralia!" you call them, "your silence won’t save you stranger", you tell him. 
"My Queen you called upon us", Valkeria asks, grasping her sword. 
"A confused bird has found its way into my bedchamber. Take him back to his cage." 
"Yes my Queen." 
The stranger leaves with an impressive struggle. Your warriors have much to do. 
"You won’t get through with this! You hear me? They will come looking for me!" he screams. 
"Gag him too, he is oh so noisy and I am trying to sleep." 
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The torches flicker, casting deep shadows on the stone walls. His steps echo, giving off the impression that at least three people were being dragged over the floor. He gave up fighting one night ago when all it brought him was a cut across his stomach. It stopped bleeding this morning, but still burned. 
"Walk, will you?" the Queen's warrior tells him, tugging at his aching arm. 
"If I was the Queen, I would have fed him to Woltron three nights ago", the second warrior, who was dragging him, says. 
"Don't let Her hear you." 
"I don't care. She is too merciful with his people." 
He could feel her iron nails dig into his arm at the mention of his people. She hated him and wanted him dead. Just like he hated them and wanted them dead. 
"Valkeria please lower your voice." 
"Don't forbid my words. You know how it ended last time. Ymir is still dead and he is still on the run." 
At that he felt his ears twitch in attention. Is he, they are talking about, who he thinks he is? But that wouldn’t make sense, he never returned home. They must be talking about someone else.
"The Queen thinks this one is different." 
"Well, then she is delusional." 
He found it peculiar that they were fighting. His teacher always told him that the witches of the Night Queendom, which called themselves rulers, always stuck together. He was taught like that. Cut off one head and three new ones will take its place. That is why the witches of the Night Queendom were so successful in banishing his kind, because they always stuck together. 
"We will see of her delusions very soon." 
A lock gets turned and he gets pushed up the same stairs he had been dragged down three nights ago when he failed his mission to kill the Queen. 
"Come now little bird, don’t give up now", she warns and pushes him roughly. 
He was close to giving up. He was taught that people like him were not supposed to give up no matter how hard life was. But he felt close to giving up, passing out to be more precise. Three nights and four days is a long time with no nourishment or sleep if one had to run for five days and climb walls before that. His body was losing its will to produce strength. 
And so he stumbled, cushioning his fall with his hands and knees. It ached so terribly. 
"Get up!" 
He gets pulled to his feet roughly. He could feel the sharp pain of the warrior's nails on his skin. 
"Aren’t you people supposed to be strong? Where is that strength now?" 
"Valkeria! Stop your cruelty, can’t you see that his body is weakened?" 
He gets pulled down a familiar hallway. He stumbles with his eyes barely staying open and his head pounding. He knows that hallway. He was led through it when he was caught. They are bringing him back to the Queen's bedchambers.  
She stops him with a harsh tug on his hair. It made him stumble and groan in pain. 
He could hear three knocks somewhere far away and a voice call out even further away. Then he gets pushed again, falling to his knees. 
"Oh my! Valkeria you mustn’t push him that hard." 
"I am sorry my Queen, I underestimated my strength." 
He feels a warm hand place itself on his arm and rub circles up and down his skin. 
It was the Queen's hand, he knows that it was. It gave him enough strength to lift up his head and send her a deathly glare.  
You are smiling at him. 
"Good evening stranger. I apologize for my warriors, they can be quite rough at times. Auralia please help him up and help him take his place." 
She follows in an instance. Just moments later he is secured on a chair, arms and legs tied. He grunts and wiggles, but to no avail. He knits his brows and grinds his teeth. This is it. He is going to die like a weak bitch, tied up and starved. Oh if his fellow brothers would see him right now, they would laugh at him. 
He can hear them talk behind him, the Queen and Her warriors.
"Leave us." 
"But my Queen-" 
"Leave us."
"What will you do with him?" 
"It mustn’t concern you Valkeria." 
"You know how it ended last time, Ymir is dead." 
"Valkeria, don’t speak to Her like this." 
"No, don’t defend me Auralia. Valkeria’s worries are justified….Valkeria." 
"Yes my Queen?" 
"This one is different. And if he isn’t, Woltron will be happy to feast upon him." 
He shivered at that, tugging at the ropes in hopes of getting free. Woltron. That name fell twice this night. It must be one of the wolves he heard growling behind the castle walls. As tall as trees and with a fur as dark as the night and as sturdy as the strongest armour. They scare him. 
"I understand my Queen." 
"Leave now, I can handle him from here." 
"Yes my Queen." 
He can hear a door open and close then steps as the Queen rounds him. 
"It is just you and me now." 
He grunts and challenges you with a harsh tug on the ropes. It makes his stomach ache again. 
"Don't fight it. They are laced with magic, they only loosen when I tell them to." 
"You witch", he growls and spits at your feet, "your curses can’t hurt me." 
You stare at your feet and the spot on which his saliva is glistening in the lights. 
"You have terrible manners for someone, whose life I saved”, you observe with disappointment lacing your voice.
He looks away and clenches his jaw in anger. You call it saving, he calls it keeping him captive. 
"Now, let me see if my warriors were too cruel to you." 
You lower yourself to inspect his body. His muscles were tense, his skin dirty and his shirt was clinging to his torso in torn stripes. 
"They cut you open", you observe, stroking your finger underneath the deep cut. 
He tenses and tries to flee from your touch, pressing his toes into the ground with all he got. 
"Don't touch me witch", he presses out through gritted teeth. 
"I must if I want to clean you." 
You rise to get a bowl of warm, clean water and a soft rag. The water smells like eucalyptus, making his eyes water. You soak the rag and wring it out.
"Stay still now or else it will hurt more than it must." 
He tries to fight it, tries to flee but he knows it is fruitless, soon the rag is touching his wound. He hisses and writhes under the burning sensation.
"What is that? What are you doing to me?" 
"I am cleaning you. I don’t want you to get infected." 
You clean the rag of his blood and place it on his stomach a second time. His muscles ripple in answer, fleeing the sensation. It must burn a lot, you pity him, it must be really uncomfortable.
"No, don’t touch me." 
"I know it burns. I apologize but I must clean it." 
One last time you drag the clean rag over his stomach. 
"Don't touch me", he growls and writhes.
"Will you stay still?" you hiss, straightening up to be face to face with him, "I won’t hurt you, I merely want you to feel better." 
He grunts, breathing heavily. 
"I don't need your help." 
"Yes, yes you do because right now you are tied to my chair in my chambers after starving for four days while outside an army of my strongest warriors just burns to bury their swords in your chest. So yes, you do need my help right now." 
He understands. He knows that he was outnumbered, weakened and defenceless and that your mercy was the only thing still keeping him alive. He was clever enough to realise that fighting you right now would only end in his death. He was trained for this, trained to survive when his chances were miniscule and fight when his chances were overflowing. He knew that right now the best thing to do was be complacent. 
He scoffs and stops wiggling, challenging you with a cock of his eyebrows.
"That's better", you smile victoriously and begin cleaning the cut on his chest. 
It wasn’t as deep as the one on his stomach and he had almost forgotten about it, hadn’t you dragged your rag over it. 
He hisses and tenses up. 
"It burns doesn’t it?" 
He stays quiet. 
"I know, but worry not. You will feel better once it begins working." 
"What?” he stares at the rag with widened eyes, “what have you done witch?" 
"I'm no witch", you halt your movements, "and I haven’t done anything”, you begin cleaning him again, “I merely added healing oils to the water to soothe your pain.”
“Healing oils?” he asks, craning his neck to stare at his exposed torso.
“Yes, my healers prepared them for me. They are quite helpful I must say. I use them whenever something aches”, you explain and send him a reassuring smile.
You must be lying. These aren’t healing oils. They must be infused with magic. Must be made to kill him, poison him slowly until it looks like he died of a weak body. This is all just a trick. He grunts, begins writhing again until his wrists and ankles hurt from the ropes digging into his skin.
“Will you stay still?” you hiss, grabbing him by his cheeks and squishing them, “I am almost done.”
“Leave me alone. Leave”, he grunts in exhaustion, “leave me alone.”
You sigh, dropping the rag back into the dirty water. You stand up and pet his hair, making him flinch back and growl with every touch.
“They sent a feisty one this time. I must say, your friend was easier to handle.”
“My friend?”
“Yes, your friend. He came to us a fortnight ago, climbed the walls just like you did and failed to kill me”, you pause to study his features.
He doesn’t look at you, grinding his teeth with a clenched jaw.
“He was far more loquacious than you. Said his name was Seokjin and that his brothers wouldn’t stop trying until I am finally dead.”
You could watch how he tenses up at the mention of his friend’s name. So your assumptions were right, the Ravens of the Black Forest are finally making their moves again. They were a group of men, hiding out in the deepest corners of the Black Forest. They despised you for being a woman and for being the one in control. You did understand them, men on this earth were treated poorly by many of your fellow women, but their hatred still offended you. You made sure that men in your lands were treated fairly and as equals, not as lesser beings made to be a woman's ragdoll. But these men, these angry, misunderstood men wanted you dead nonetheless. It had been years until their last attacks before they started again last month.
“Why is Rafkan attacking us again?” you ask, spreading healing creams on his wounds, “tell me stranger, what is his motivation?”
He scoffs and turns his head away. He only reacts when you reach the cut on his stomach, sucking in air through his teeth at the cold sensation. You soothe him with a quiet “hush it’s good for you” and a soft pat to his stomach. It makes him tense up to the point that his muscles shake.   
“Is it gold that he wants?” you begin, placing the bowl of ointment on your table, “perhaps food? Or medicine?” you ask, eyes flitting up to meet his’.
His expression stays stone cold. He doesn’t want to talk. You begin placing clean bandages on his cuts, making him tense up. It is peculiar how he is still fighting your kindness when you are so gentle with him. You place the bandages on his cuts with uttermost care and smooth over them as cautiously as you could and he was still fighting you, hissing in anger and sending you dark looks.
“Clearly he wants something”, you say, finishing the last touches.  
“He doesn’t, he just wants you witches dead.”
“How you talk disappoints me. I am no witch, I already told you so.”
He scoffs, “sure.”
You furrow your brows and take a deep breath. This one is a lot more stubborn than his friend was. You can see it in his eyes, it won’t be an easy task to gain his trust.
“You know, your friend was the same as you. Stubborn and filled with anger. Until he realised that he had nothing to fear here.”
“I’m not scared of you”, he spits.
“Of course you aren’t, but wouldn’t it be much easier for both of us if you started to talk?”
He laughs dryly, shaking his head.
“I see, you don’t think that way. Fine, then I must convince you otherwise.”
His head snaps up at your words, eyes filled with fear even though he clearly doesn’t want you to know that he was scared. He knew it. He knew that you would sooner or later retort to torturing him. Just like Rafkan told him, the witches of the Night Queendom were evil, sadistic monsters. He watches you as you slither through the room like the poisonous snake you are. He is sure that underneath that ebony dress your scales are hiding and that behind those red painted lips your poisonous fangs were waiting to be used. He watches you as you disappear behind a folding screen, using the opportunity of solitude to tug at the ropes again. He grunts, grinding his teeth. No matter how much he fights, how much strength he uses or how angrily he wiggles, the ropes stay closed like iron fingers on his body.
“Fuck”, he presses out quietly, dropping his head. The bandages look weird on his body, almost forbidden. He hates to admit it, but whatever you did to him is working. Ever since your warrior cut him open, he felt this everlasting ache on his stomach. It is finally gone. He doesn’t feel anything other than the prickling sensation of whatever ointment you put on him and that sensation wasn’t painful, it was as a matter of fact pleasant and he hated it. He hated it because he never wanted to connect good sensations with your kind.
“So, now let’s see”, your voice makes him raise his head again.
You are back, strutting to him with a tray in your hands. His heart is racing unbearably fast in his chest. This is it. He only heard nightmare stories of your people’s cruelty and now he will experience it on his own body. You set the tray down on the table beside him and pull a chair close to him to sit down on it. He eyes the tray, wondering to himself why the tools looked like cutlery.
You reach for an iron jug, pouring translucent liquid into a mug. You guide the mug to his lips, touching them with the cold edge.
He shakes his head, pressing his lips closed as good as possible.
“You must be thirsty, drink.”
He turns away.
“It will do you good.”
He shakes his head no and eyes the drink with panic in his eyes.
“Here, look”, you say and take a big sip, “it is water from our fountains. It is clean and tastes fresh, you have nothing to fear.”
“Don’t be stubborn, you need water to live.”
“I don’t need your water, witch.”
“You must stop calling me a witch when I am merely trying to help you.”
“Help me? It would help me far more if you just slid my throat instead of poisoning me slowly.”
You sit back on your chair, tilting your head to the side in confusion.
“Poison you?” you laugh loudly.
It angers him to hear you laughing at his words. He tugs at the ropes and growls, hoping that the surge of anger gives him enough strength to break through. It doesn’t.
“I am not intending to poison you stranger, so come don’t be stubborn and accept the water”, you say, placing the mug against his lips again.
He breathes quickly, it smells like nothing. Only the iron mug gives off a faint scent. You tilt the mug, making the water touch his lips. He presses his eyes shut at the cold sensation, waiting for the unbearable burn of the poison. It doesn’t come, as a matter of fact, nothing happens other than that his skin feels wet all of a sudden.
He locks eyes with you and finally parts his lips. The liquid feels cold on his tongue, coating his terribly dry mouth. He swallows, grunting when his throat finally stops aching in thirst. You were right. It tastes clean and fresh and so, so cold. He hates how good it felt and how hungrily he began drinking it.
“There we go. That’s better. You must have been really thirsty. I apologize that I kept you waiting for so long, but I needed to weaken you a little before I could talk to you.”
The water runs down his chin and trips down on his chest. You wipe it off with your hand.
“Don’t worry, you won’t return to your cell again. Unless of course, you decide to misbehave.”
He breaks away from the mug and swallows the last bit of the water.
“Just throw me in there again, I won’t talk”, his voice comes out easier now that his throat wasn’t so dry anymore.
“Oh trust me, I know that you won’t talk tonight. That is why I brought this”, you say and open an iron cloche.
He had expected to be met with torture devices, but instead freshly cooked food was looking back at him. Meat and potatoes, garnished with a red sauce. His stomach rumbles on instinct, so loudly that you could hear it as well.
“I can hear that you are hungry. So eat as much as you desire.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You think it is poisoned, don’t you?”
His silence is answer enough for you.
You sigh and cut off a piece of meat and potato so you could eat them in front of his eyes. You chew and swallow.
“See? It is not poisoned.”
He eyes it, swallowing down the saliva in his mouth.
“I’m not hungry.”
You cut off a piece and guide it to his lips.
He locks eyes with you, opens his mouth and lets you place the food inside.
“There you go, that’s-“, your voice cuts off as he spits it back out again right at your face. You gasp and touch the spot it had touched.
“I don’t need your food witch”, he spits.
“I am trying to help you. How dare you spit at me”, you hiss.
“Be glad I am bound to this chair because if I wasn’t, I’d do things far worse to you.”
You place the fork down and sigh.
“You disappoint me stranger, I thought you would know better than this. Valkeria! Auralia!”
The door opens.
“What are you doing? Where are you taking me?”
“Take him back to his cell. He hasn’t learned his lesson yet.”
“I’ll kill you. You hear me?” he growls, fighting against your warriors' grasps.
“And gag him again, he is oh so noisy”, you order, locking eyes with him. Your warriors are stuffing a rag into his mouth, doing with little concern for his wellbeing. He grunts and whimpers, fighting against the feeling but losing miserably.
“I told you not to misbehave, this is all on you”, you tell him coldly, “now take him away, I don’t want to see him anymore.”
His screams are muffled and unintelligible, but you know that he is screaming curses at you.
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He had been sleeping before. It wasn’t really sleeping if he was being honest, the rag in his mouth and the ropes around his hands prevented him from feeling comfortable. Not that he found any kind of comfort in the cold, wet prison cell her warriors threw him in after he spat at her face last night. Or was it two nights ago? Perhaps even three nights? He doesn’t quite know as the only source of light was the measly torch outside his cell. But he knew that it was time for him to leave his cell again. It was being opened and two warriors stepped through the threshold.
“Wake up birdie”, one of them tells him and kicks his side.
He groans and writhes away, trying to sit up but failing miserably.
“Stop that Valkeria.”
“Why? She just told us to bring him to Her, she never spoke of treating him gently.”
“Yes, but kicking him awake won’t do you any good.”
"Yes it will, it's fun", she says and kicks him again. 
He could feel the pain in his entire body. It leaves a dull thumping sensation behind. 
"Stop that!" 
The other, and nicer, warrior squats down before him and places her hands on his shoulders so she could help him sit up. He does so with a groan, everything inside of him ached.
“I apologize for my friend’s behaviour. She doesn’t know what she is doing. The Queen sent for you again, you will leave your cell tonight”, she spoke with a calm and gentle voice.
She helps him to his feet and supports him by his arm.
“Come now, walk.”
He stumbles and tries to walk. He regrets not taking any of the Queen's food. He thought that he couldn’t feel any worse, but he does. He feels close to death. The colours around him looked washed out and pale, the world seemed blurry and distorted and his legs felt like two pieces of iron. He stumbles up the steps, the warrior pulls him back up easily.
“See? That is what you get when you refuse Her food”, she says with disappointment lacing her voice.
She was right in a way. He should have at least eaten the potato, then he wouldn’t be in so much pain. Perhaps then he would also have enough strength to push her down the stairs and run for his life. Perhaps if he ate that potato he would have already been able to flee.
He stumbles again, being held up by the warrior’s strong grasp.
“It’s not far anymore, hold on for a little longer.”
“Why are you so nice to him Auralia? He doesn’t deserve our kindness”, the first, and sadistic, warriors spits and a second later he feels his hair get twisted painfully.
He groans and stumbles, hitting his shins and toes way too many times as she pulls him up the stairs by his hair.
“Valkeria stop that!”
She stops tugging at his hair but only because they have reached the Queens chambers and she needs to knock. He is crying by now. Not actually, physically crying because he feels sad but out of his eyes tears are spilling from the discomfort of his hair being tugged. And then she tugs at his hair again, making him stumble into the Queens chambers.
He would have fallen on his face if you hadn’t caught his body before that, now he is lying in your arms, face buried in your chest.
“Valkeria! If I see you abuse him one more time, you will be the one being fed to Woltron”, you spit angrily.
“It is not my fault he is too stupid to walk”, Valkeria answers, shrugging her shoulders.
You click your tongue, “leave for the night and tell Yeri to take your place instead.”
“My Queen?”
“You need to take control of your emotions Valkeria.”
“Yes my Queen. I understand my Queen”, she mumbles and bows her head.
The door closes then and he feels his body being straightened up.
“Good evening stranger”, you greet him with an apologetic smile, “I apologize for Valkeria’s behaviour, you must know she has good reasons to hate your people.”
He furrows his brows in confusion.
“Your friend, Seokjin, he killed one of my warriors before he fled back to you. Ymir was her name and she was Valkeria’s wife.”
He lowers his eyes in shame. 
“But for now let’s take off this gag shall we?”
He gasps for air the moment the rag is out of his mouth, licking over his lips repeatedly. The soaked rag lands on the floor with a low thump.
“I felt awful having to gag you for days, but you spat at my face, it was only the right thing to do.”
He scoffs, wiping his mouth with his tied hands. The corners of his mouth ache terribly, they also feel hot when he licks over them, he must have inflamed them from the rag constantly rubbing against them.
“Don’t worry, they are only a little reddened. It’s nothing a few days of rest can’t fix”, you assure him, “but now, come follow me. I need to clean you.”
You tug at his arms. He is too weak to fight back, stumbling after you.
“Where are we going?” he asks weakly, eyeing the chair he had been tied to before.
“The bathing room. You stink.”
You lead him past a wall of thick curtains into a small, windowless room. Dozens of candles were lit and in the middle of the room an iron tub was standing, filled with warm water. It smelled of lavender and chamomile in the room.
You stand him next to the tub and reach for a pair of sharp scissors. He eyes them.
“Stay away”, he warns.
“Stay calm, I won’t hurt you.”
You move closer, he stumbles back until the back of his knees hit the tub. It makes him hiss at the sudden warm sensation on his skin.
“What, what are you doing?”
“I am undressing you.”
“No, don’t touch my clothes.”
“I prepared new clothes for you. Worry not, they are still black”, you tell him and cut open the right sleeve of his blouse. Next the left sleeve, it rips easily. He wiggles with his upper body in an attempt to fight you off.
“Stay still”, you pull at the ropes, “I don’t want to cut you on accident.”
He stays still but only because the scissors were terribly close to his crotch. He raises his head and looks up at the ceiling. Rafkan was right, the witches of the Night Queendom were sadistic monsters and now the leader of them all was stealing him of the only thing still keeping him connected to his brothers. He wonders if next she tries to give him a new name or worse burn off his tattoo. That’s what those witches do, they steal your identity until you have forgotten who you were, that is what Rafkan told him. And that is why Seokjin has never returned to him and his brothers. He knows that you were lying. Seokjin probably never left the castle’s walls, perhaps he became dinner for the wolves or Valkeria killed him when you weren’t looking or maybe he was living among them, thinking that he was someone else. Seokjin would never willingly stay away from his brothers, something must have happened to him.
You cut off the last thread keeping his pants together and pull the destroyed fabric from his legs. You stand up again and watch his face. He stares at you with angry precision, jaw tensed and eyes burning in hatred. His tied hands are covering him, muscles flexed in the desire to bash your head in.
"Let’s get you in the water, shall we?”
He lets you help him step in the bathtub, but only because you kept his hands still tied. It is warm on his skin, he had already forgotten how warmth feels like or how baths felt like for that matter. It must have been years since his last bath. Rafkan doesn’t really let them take baths because baths were reserved for witches, so he said.
“There we go”, you say, supporting him as he sits down.
The water reaches him to his chest just a little under where his tattoo ends. The smell of lavender and chamomile is even stronger in the bathtub, making him dizzy.
“Now lean back and relax, I will get your soaps.”
He stares at you angrily, leaning back against the bathtub. He may seem like he is relaxing, but he isn’t, every fibre in his body is tensed. He watches you as you turn your back to him and begin sorting through something on the little table next to the tub. He wonders if he could strangle you, he would only need to act quickly enough. Jump to his feet and out of the bath and use the ropes around his wrists to strangle you instead. Or perhaps if he is even quicker he could steal the scissors from the table and carve a new hole into your ribcage. He sits up and pushes himself up.
“There we go”, you turn around, making him fall back against the tub, “I have everything I need. You must know our soap makers create masterpieces, you will feel so clean afterwards.”
You place the bar of soap on the edge of the tub and fill an iron bowl with water. Then you go behind him, making him crane his neck.
“Keep looking forward”, you tell him, turning his head back.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Hush, you will thank me.”
“No don’t-“, a gasp interrupts him as you pour water over his head. He grunts with his eyes closed, mouth opening and closing repeatedly and shoulders heaving up and down. You pour more water over his head, making him hold his breath. A third time and then you finally place the bowl on the floor and reach for the soap. He sends you a deathly glare over his shoulder. You merely give him an apologetic smile and turn his head to the front again. He grunts, frowning.
“If my body wasn’t so weak I would kill you”, he growls, “I would drown you in this bathtub right here and now.”
“Yes?” you say and begin rubbing the soap into his scalp.
“Yes. Or maybe I would bash your head in with the corner of the tub and watch your rotten brains spill out.”
“That sounds gruesome”, you say, running your nails over his scalp gently. You watch goosebumps form on his shoulders and neck.
“And then I, I would dig your rotten heart out of your chest with the scissors.”
“Really?” you pay special attention to the nape of his neck, massaging the soap into his hair thoroughly.
“And, and then I would strangle you and, and…and…” he drifts off, body relaxing just slightly.
“That sounds like a thorough plan. So why not do it?” you ask, running your fingers over the crown of his head repeatedly.
“Because you tied my hands”, he answers you.
“I thought the Ravens were taught to fight with their hands tied so that they would never be handicapped in a fight.”
You brush his hair out of his face, making sure to caress his forehead with relaxing touches. The movements make his head tilt back just enough that you could watch his eyelids flutter. You keep watching them, massaging the front of his head in circular motions.
“That is a lie”, he presses out, forcing his lips closed so they wouldn’t part in relaxation.
“It is? I apologize then, it seems I was misinformed.”
You tilt his head back to the front and get the bowl.
“Close your eyes, I need to wash the soap out.”
He hates that he closes his eyes and that he waits for the water with held breath and he hates it even more that he feels disappointed that you have already finished washing his hair. If his brothers would see him right now they would beat him with sticks until he wasn’t moving anymore. He is betraying them, with every second he sits in this tub and allows you to wash him he is betraying them.
“There we go”, you place the bowl down, “the worst is gone, now I will make sure it is thoroughly cleaned.”
He tenses up when he feels your fingers in his hair again, rubbing soothing circles on his scalp. He hates that he doesn’t hate it. Your fingers draw circles on his scalp, tugging on his hair softly with every movement. He sighs and closes his eyes. Somewhere far away he remembers the sensation. He can’t place the location or person to said sensation, but he knows that sometime in his life he had experienced it before. He squeezes his eyes shut further to stop the brickling of tears. Why does he like this so much?
“Now tell me something else. I heard the Ravens are all orphans and that Rafkan was the one who saved you. Is that also a lie?”
He growls and turns, pushing himself out of the tub. The mention of his leader clearly angered him. You push him back down, “stay I’m not finished with you.”
“I hate you”, he spits, writhing away, “don’t touch me witch.”
Now he realises what had happened, why he enjoyed this moment so much. It was black magic again. You bewitched him and made him believe that he enjoyed your touches. It was all a scheme to get him to talk and spill the secrets of his people.
“I am no witch”, you hiss and press him down harshly, “now stay and let me wash you.”
He wiggles, making the water splash over the edge of the tub.
“Keep still.”
He fights more, almost making you fall into the water with him.
He gasps and stops fighting. You just slapped his cheek with the back of your hand. It wasn’t hard or painful, just a mere nudge, but it surprised him nonetheless.
“See? Now I slapped you on accident. That is what you get from wiggling so much.”
He looks over his shoulder to send you a deathly glare. You smile and connect your fingers with his hair.
“I apologize for slapping you, I hope it didn’t hurt.”
He scoffs.
“I take this as a no”, you say and massage his scalp so well that he can’t help but shiver on instinct, “I merely want to help you stranger.”
He turns to the front and clenches his jaw. It angers him how weak his body feels. Just those short moments of struggle drained him to the point that his eyes feel droopy. He couldn’t fight you any more, even if he tried. He just has to sit here and allow you to wash his hair.
“Tell me stranger, do you have a name? I don’t like calling you stranger.”
He stays silent. You massage the spot behind his ears, watching how he straightens up at the sensation and tilts his head back. You keep touching him there. His lips part without him even noticing that they do.
“Or perhaps you have no name”, you wonder.
He doesn’t answer you. Your fingers run through his hair again, making his shoulder raise and sink in a deep breath.
“Worry not, I can give you one.”
He tenses up.
“How about Ragnahr? Or perhaps a longer name. Something strong and mysterious. Something like-“
“Jungkook. My name is Jungkook.”
“That is a good name. It fits you.”
Jungkook closes his eyes and squeezes his own hands in anger. He wasn’t angry at you, he was angry at himself for revealing his name to you so easily. All it took was for you to threaten him with a wrong name and he already broke. Rafkan would be so disappointed in him. He should have just let you give him a wrong name. It is not like he is planning on staying here for long. Once he has eaten and rested and has regained his strength he will finally fulfill his task of killing you. He should have stayed unknown, should have taken on a wrong name and lived under an alias until his destiny was fulfilled.
You twist his hair softly, gathering it up at the top of his head to really rub the soap into his scalp. He can hear your movements and feel them all the way down to his toes. It makes them curl and his eyelids flutter. He allows them to fall closed because deep down he knew he couldn’t fight this exhaustion for long anymore. 
He begins thinking again. There must have been something stopping him from living under an alias. Something inside of him that told his tongue to speak the truth because living in a lie would have been torture too big. Perhaps it was that everlasting emptiness in his heart, which was present ever since he was five and ripped away from his parent’s dead arms by a masked stranger. Perhaps it was this hollow unknowing he always had to carry around with him that told him that losing even more of his identity would end in his ruin.
“My name is ___, you can call me this instead of always calling me a witch”, you say, running your fingers along his temples. You could feel that he carried a lot of pain in that area, it was written all over his features and was present in the way he tensed at your touch.
“Why would I call you this when you are nothing but a witch?” he hisses, but the slight shake in his voice made him sound a lot less angry.
“Because you think wrongly of me. I am no witch, I am a simple woman with no magical abilities.”
“Lies. You and your people are witches.”
“Is that what Rafkan told you?”
He closes his mouth and stays silent.
“Of course he did”, you sigh, “Rafkan doesn’t know everything about this world.”
“Yes he does and he told me that you would say such things. That you would use sweet words and soft touches to bewitch me until I am your slave.”
“My slave?” you laugh loudly and for some reason it makes him feel really stupid.
“Don’t laugh”, he spits angrily.
“I must apologize, but that is perhaps the most amusing thing I have ever heard.”
He scoffs, clenching his jaw.
“I don’t keep slaves in my castle. Everyone who is by my side, who works for me or does things for me, does them out of their own free will.”
“I don’t believe you”, he hisses, “I know your true nature. I know about your scales and your poisonous fangs and about the human sacrifices.”
“Human sacrifices?” you laugh, “scales and fangs?” you laugh even more.
“Stop laughing!” he screams in anger.
He just told you that he knows your darkest secrets and you are laughing at him. You are mocking him. It angers him so much that he feels like crying. You are not supposed to laugh, you are supposed to beg him not to tell anyone.
You round him then, carrying amusement in your eyes.
“Tell me Jungkook. Where did Rafkan tell you that I am covered in scales?”
He stays silent but looks at your torso.
“My torso? Oh that’s a clever place. He probably told you that because of them you need to make sure to stab me with all your strength so the knife would pierce them didn’t he?”
He turns his head away and grinds his teeth. You are still mocking him, taking him for a fool. This must be your way of hiding the truth. Make him out to be the idiot while your secrets stay safe. He clenches his jaw, feeling all the tension you massaged away return to his head.
He hears something then, as if fabric had hit the ground. He turns his head, instantly looking away again. You have bared yourself to him. Rafkan told him not to look at your naked body because the scales would hypnotise him. He holds his breath, squeezes his eyes shut and hopes that this would be enough to keep him safe.
“Don’t turn away. Look at me.”
“You can’t trick me witch.”
“I am not tricking you. Look at me.”
“No, I know what this will do to me. I’m no fool.”
“Yes you are. A fool who believes the ramblings of an even bigger fool”, you step closer, “look at me Jungkook.”
“Look. At. Me.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then you will prove to me that you are nothing but a foolish child.”
He isn’t foolish, let alone a child. It angers him that you would even dare to put such words into your mouth. He peels his eyes open, looking at the ground. He can see your legs from the corners of his eyes. They seem normal to him. He takes a deep breath. He needs to be brave now, Rafkan will be so proud of him if he survives.
He turns and holds his breath.
“What?” he gasps, feeling his world crumble.
He blinks in confusion, letting his eyes run over your body almost obsessively exact. There are no scales, not even one. You turn a few times to show him everything. Still nothing, only human skin.
“Rafkan lied to you”, you close the distance between you and him and step into the bath.
He tenses up, tries to get away from you. He ends up housing you between his legs, panting at the feeling of your skin against his.
“Just as he lied to you about my fangs”, you say and open your mouth.
He looks at every tooth, feeling like his head might explode. Rafkan told him of big, sharp fangs. He told him that just a touch could kill and that therefore he shouldn’t force your mouth open after he killed you to check for them. There were no fangs in your mouth, not even one.
“No, no he wouldn’t lie.”
“Yes he would. He is a madman, who is obsessed with the idea of making me fall. I am sure that he told you that my people hunt your people for fun, that we find some sick pleasure in hurting men.”
You came closer in the time you spoke, making him press himself against the bathtub.
“Stay away from me.”
You reach for something on the table and Jungkook flinches away as you pull your hand back.
“I don’t want to hurt you”, you say, forcing him to look at you with two fingers under his chin. There is a clean rag in your fingers, “I want to help you.”
You soak the rag, guiding it to his face. He moves back, panting heavily in anger, or maybe it was fear.
“What are you doing?”
“Cleaning you. Your face looks terrible with all the dirt covering it”, you say, dragging the fabric over his chin.
He grunts, watching your hand as it dances up his face to clean his left cheek. His eye closes on instinct as you drag the rag over his skin underneath it. You clean his nose next, up and down the bridge of it until his eyes feel terribly heavy again. This must be your magic again, he feels so tired all of a sudden. You clean his right cheek, doing so a lot more tender because he has a little cut on his cheekbone. It burns just the slightest bit, but not enough to wake him up. Your face blurs in his vision, the colours fade out again as his eyes close more and more.
You wash out the cloth.
“We are almost done, worry not”, you say quietly and support his wobbling head with your hand at the back of it.
“What have you done to me?” he forces out, eyes falling closed.
“Nothing, although I must confess I chose the best sleeping oils for our bath. Their smell is supposed to help you fall asleep.”
“Stop messing with my mind, witch.”
“I’m not and I am no witch.”
You clean his forehead, watching the creases disappear from it. It only lasts a second. He inhales loudly and forces his eyes open again. The warmth of the water, the scent of the flowers, your tender touch and soft body against his’ almost got him. He can’t give up now, not when he had already come so far. Who knows what you would do to him, would he fall asleep. Perhaps you would drown him in this bath, hang his naked body for everyone to see above your castle walls. He can’t allow that to happen.
“Don’t fight it. I know you haven’t rested in days”, you whisper, caressing his cheek with your hand.
He shakes you off and widens his eyes.
“I’m not tired.”
“Yes you are, even now when you are surrounded by warm water, your body is shivering. I can feel it.”
He knows that you were right. He had been shivering uncontrollably ever since you joined him in the bath. He is glad that you think it was because of exhaustion, because in truth he was terribly scared of you. He was scared that this was all just a trick. That Rafkan was right and you were nothing but a snake. Perhaps he failed to mention that you could hide your true nature and you knew that. Perhaps you are using his ignorance to your advantage.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Believe me?” you ask, cleaning his torso with the rag.
“Your scales and fangs, you are hiding them.”
You chuckle, “and you fear that if you close your eyes I would use them on you?”
“I know you are planning something, witch.”
“Yes, I am. I want you to rest tonight.”
Jungkook furrows his brows and watches you. You are cleaning his stomach, using less pressure when your fingers are touching his cut. You are so gentle with him, it is confusing him so much. Why are you gentle and careful with him? Why is your skin not covered in scales? Why does your mouth not carry fangs? And why do you want him to rest as if his wellbeing was of importance to you?
You smile and pat his shoulder, “why not?”
He blinks and shifts his gaze to the water. This all confuses him so terribly much.
“Now, let’s finally wash out that soap and get you to bed”, you say, rising from the bath to leave it and round him. You pour water over his head, making him gasp and grunt at the sensation. You do it a second time and he is holding his breath this time around.
“There we go, now wait here and I will get the towel.”
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He is awake in an instance from the nightmare plaguing his mind. It was the same he always has. A masked man rips him out of the arms of his dead parents. He gasps and sits up, but something holds him back, tugs him down by his wrists until his back collides with the headboard. He groans in pain and surprise, looking around the room only to come face to face with you resting on your knees beside him.
"Good morning", you say, stroking your palm over his stomach, "I just finished treating your cuts, they are healing splendidly." 
"Where am I?" he asks, voice heavy in sleep.
"My bed of course." 
"No. No. What have you done to me?" 
"Nothing, you were just too exhausted to walk to your chambers and so I allowed you to sleep with me." 
He looks down at his body. Black, linen pants were covering his lower body. 
"Yes I put them on. I must say, your legs are quite heavy when you sleep." 
He tries to rub his legs together to see if he was still a man. 
"Don’t worry, I didn’t cut it off and use it as a necklace", you joke. 
He blinks at you with widened eyes. 
"I see you don’t find humor in it", you observe, "worry not, although Rafkan told you about our love for stealing men of their pride, we don’t actually do that, especially because they can bring us a lot of joy as well." 
"What?" he gasps and shakes his head, "no. Stay away." 
"Worry not, I merely intend to take care of your wounds and to feed you of course. 
"Feed me?" 
"Yes, your hands are tied."
He tries to raise them but finds himself unable to do as two ropes keep them on the mattress securely.
“Let me go”, he growls.
“I fear that this is not possible”, you give him an apologetic smile, “you carry too much hatred in your eyes still, I don’t want to risk it.”
“Risk it? What? Do I scare you?” he spits, grinning victoriously.
You study his face. He keeps up the eye contact. You sigh, eyes filling with pity as you let them run over his features. It confuses him again, maybe makes him even feel nervous. He clears his throat, feeling his gaze falter.
“You don’t scare me. I pity you.”
“Pity?” he scoffs and laughs, “if you feel so terrible for what you do to me then free me.”
“You misunderstand me. I don’t feel bad for what I do to you. I feel bad for what he did to you.”
Rafkan was right, the witches are confusing creatures, speaking in riddles and madness. He doesn’t understand a thing you are saying.
“How old were you when they came for you?”
“I, I don’t know what you are saying.”
“You called out for your parents as you slept. More than once.”
He turns his head away, looks to the side. This is not good, now you know his darkest secret and can use it against him.
“I figure you must have been nothing but a child. You must have been. This would have given him enough time to twist his way into your mind.”
He doesn’t understand. It angers him so much to feel so stupid and ignorant in your presence.
“What are you talking about?” and so he screams at you, tugging at the ropes with all he got.
You don’t flinch back, you simply sigh in sadness and reach out to cup his cheek.
He flinches away, skin burning where you are touching him.
“Rafkan doesn’t speak everything out loud, Jungkook”, you whisper.
“I, I don’t understand”, he chokes out, feeling close to tears in desperation. You are confusing him so much.
“You can’t, but give it some time. You will understand one day.”
“Tell me.”
“Not today”, you give him a smile, “for now, you need to eat, gain back your strength and nourish your body.”
You turn to your side then and reach for a grape, which had been resting on a plate on the mattress.
"I picked out the sweetest kind", you say, guiding it to his lips.
He eyes the grape, breathing heavily.
“Open up.”
He shakes his head.
“I didn’t poison it.”
“Stay, stay away from me.”
“Fine”, you give up and eat the grape yourself, “perhaps you want some cheese instead?”
You offer him a piece of finely cut cheese on a slice of bread, it is rolled up so it looks like a flower.
“You haven’t eaten in a week, don’t be foolish. You need the food.”
“I don’t need your food. I need answers.”
“They will come eventually.”
“I want them now.”
You furrow your brows, eyes darkening. It makes him swallow. You scoot closer, sitting down on his lap. He squeezes his eyes shut, head hitting the edge of the headrest as he moves away. He went too far and now he will finally feel the cruelty of the witches, Rafkan always spoke of. But it doesn’t come, instead you cup his cheek and make him look at you.
“Eat”, you whisper, touching his lips with the bread.
It smells so good that it makes his mouth water. Oh heavens, he is so hungry. He swallows and gawks at the bread.
“Eat, it will do you good”, you tell him.
He shakes his head.
“You can trust me.”
For the briefest of moments he looked into your eyes, meeting nothing but the purest honesty in them. Can he really trust you? Is this really just food? You encourage him with a nod of your head and a soft smile, caressing his cheekbone softly.
You brush your thumb over his lips, making them prickle at the sensation.
“Eat”, you breathe, putting soft pressure on his lips.
He exhales shakily and lets you open his mouth, gasping quietly when you replace your thumb with the bread. You press his jaw closed the moment the food rests on his tongue. He knows you are only doing so, so that he can’t spit it out again.
“Now chew”, you order him, keeping a tight grip on him.
He chews, keeping his eyes locked on your face. You stare at his lips, watching him chew with a sort of pride in your eyes. He swallows, feeling the bread against his lips in an instance.
He bites off a piece and chews with the help of you. He hates how helpless you made him, not because it embarrasses him, no for a weird reason it doesn’t embarrass him, but because he gave in so easily once again. First his name and now he lets you feed him. His brothers would be so disappointed in him. Is that how Seokjin felt too? Did you do the same things to him as you do right now?
He opens his mouth and lets you stuff it with bread and later force his jaw closed. He hadn’t even intended on spitting on you this morning. He was feeling too hungry for that and as much as he hates to admit it, he knows that he needs the food. If he had refused it again and you threw him into his cell for yet another three days, he feared that the hunger might have killed him.
“Again. Last bite.”
Your fingers aren’t as tight on his jaw as they were before. Perhaps you already trust him a little more.
He swallows, your fingers fall from his face.
“Perfect. Now”, you reach to the plate, “you must try a grape.”
“Because they taste lovely to cheese”, you explain, guiding it to his lips.
“Oh heavens, will you eat? How are you intending to gain back your strength if you keep refusing the food I prepared for you?”
He lowers his eyes and licks over his lips. You were right. He sighs, opens his mouth and takes in the grape. You had wanted to reach for his jaw again but he moved away faster, looking at you with dark eyes. It makes you smile.
“See? It wasn’t that hard.”
You reach for another piece of bread and some grapes.
“Here, have more. You must try it together, it will change the way you look at food.”
You were right. Again. It tasted really good. He liked it, it made his tongue prickle and his chest feel warm. Rafkan doesn’t really allow them to eat good food, just things to keep the body strong. Good food is reserved for witches who gain pleasure out of it, so he always said. Jungkook kind of liked the good food a lot more than the one Rafkan gave him.
“And? Do you enjoy it?” you ask.
He swallows and clenches his jaw.
“What are you doing to me?” he hisses. There must have been something in this food. Maybe not poison, but something magical. Something that forces him to find this moment so not at all horrible.
You laugh softly and tilt your head to the side, eyes filling with warmth.
“Nothing”, you say, “I’m just feeding you.”
“Did you enchant it?”
You eye the food between your fingers.
“Do you enjoy it that much?”
He looks to the side, hoping that you can’t see the blush on his cheeks.
“You do”, you caress his shoulder and scoot up his lap, “that is wonderful to hear. Here, take more until you feel like your hunger has vanished.”
Jungkook eats a lot this morning and he hates that he enjoys every second of it.
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He was in his chambers, staring at the walls as he always did this past week, when a knock made his head turn.
“What?” he asks coldly, watching the door open and three people enter his room.
Two witches and a man. It surprises him. He saw men on her castle grounds, but this is the first time he is meeting one up close.
“Good morning Sire, I hope you rested well.”
Jungkook scoffs and turns back to the wall.
“I’m not a Sire.”
“Well, Our Majesty told me to treat you with the highest respect, so I am going to address you as Sire today…Sire.”
Jungkook sneaks a glance at him and the masses of fabrics the two witches were carrying.
“What are you doing here anyway?” he asks.
“Dressmaking?” he asks, cocking his right eyebrow up.
“You see Sire, my name is Bartholomew and I am a dressmaker.”
“Tailor, Sire. I am a tailor.”
“Ah I understand….and why are you in my room?”
“To measure you of course.”
“Measure me?”
“You are a man of many questions Sire”, he mumbles and fixes the buttons on his coat, “you see, Our Majesty let me know that she had to destroy your clothes to…well, bathe you properly. And I am here to remake them in your image.”
He snorts and chuckles.
“She wants to dress me? What? I’m her puppet now?”
The tailor clears his throat and looks at his two assistants. It seems that his words had flustered him greatly.
“No…of course not Sire. She merely wanted to give you a part of your identity back.”
Jungkook faltered. What tricks is she playing now? If she really wanted to give him a part of his identity back she would have let him run two weeks ago, not lock him up in a windowless room and only take him outside for walks where his wrists were tied together. There were of course all those countless warm baths she shared with him and the many dinners he had to take with her. She allowed him to eat on his own most nights. She currently doesn’t allow him to eat on his own however, Jungkook has himself to blame for that as he had tried to stab her eyes with a butter knife last night.
That is why her generosity confuses him greatly, no it doesn’t confuse him, it leaves him suspicious. He almost blinded her last night and now she wants to give him presents?
“Why would she want that?”
“Because she felt gracious this morning.”
“I don’t understand. I almost blinded her last night.”
The tailor nods.
“She told me that you would say that Sire and I can tell you that she is more forgiving than you think she is.”
Jungkook grinds his teeth. He thought that a man would understand him better, but it seems that his mind had been poisoned by the witches as well. The tailor claps into his hands then.
“Now! Let us get started. I have a lot of work to do.”
His two assistants place the heaps of fabric on his bed and pull Jungkook to his feet.
“Don’t touch me, let go of me”, he growls, fighting against them.
They show no struggle, leading him to the tailor with ease.
Jungkook grunts and wobbles on the steps they put him on, staring down at the man with dark eyes.
“I swear to god if you even as much as dare to touch me I will rip your head off”, he warns.
“Very threatening indeed”, the tailor mumbles mindlessly, squatting down to begin measuring Jungkook’s legs.
He watches him work, considering for a moment if he should kick him in the face and use the moment of chaos to escape. The tailor's two assistants begin circling him before he can, holding up different kinds of fabrics against his face.
“Don’t touch me”, he hisses, moving his head away.
“They won’t touch you, Sire. They merely want to figure out your perfect colours.”
“My perfect colours? I’m not a witch, I don’t need colours”, he spits.
“Everybody needs a little colour in their life, Sire. Especially in a land where the nights are so long”, the tailor mumbles, “now spread your legs.”
The tailor forces them open.
“I said no”, he spits, closing them again.
“Sire”, the tailor forces them apart again, “stay still. I can’t measure them otherwise.”
Jungkook clenches his jaw, watching the tailor wrap the measuring tape around his thigh. He feels fabric against his cheek and as he turns his head one of the assistants is holding up a rosé coloured fabric. She looks into his eyes, squinting her own as she studies him.
“That colour looks nice with your eyes, Sire”, she lets him know, handing the fabric over to her colleague, “put this on the pile to take.”
“No. I don’t want colour. I want black”, Jungkook spits, lowering his eyes in anger.
She clicks her tongue in distaste, “but Sire this-“
“I want black or else I will use this stupid fabric to hang you from the ceiling.”
Something pinches him on his inner thigh.
“Ah”, he gasps, looking down at the tailor, “did you just poke me with a needle?”
The tailor ignores him. He did poke him with a needle, doing so as a punishment for the way Jungkook talked to his assistants, but he won’t let him know that.
“Strong thighs. You were running a lot weren’t you?” he says instead.
“I could outrun all of you if that is what you are asking.”
“I am positive that you could, Sire.”
The tailor straightens up and wraps the measuring tape around Jungkook’s hips. He tenses at the touch.
“Stay away.”
“Do you want it to pinch your manhood Sire or do you want it to be comfortable?”
Jungkook closes his mouth and stops fighting.
“As I thought, now let me measure you.”
He allows him with a clenched jaw, watching the tailor’s assistants instead. They are discussing the different pieces of black fabric, comparing them to each other as if there was any difference between them. They were all the same to him.
“You seem to be in good shape, Sire. Our Majesty can count herself lucky.”
“Excuse me?” Jungkook's voice pitched in surprise about the bluntness of the tailor.
“Keep your arms stretched out, Sire”, he says, putting Jungkook’s arms in the desired position.
He allowed him, too shocked had made him his words.
“What did you mean by that?” he stresses.
“Are you not her lover, Sire? The castle watched you enter her chambers each night and leave it hours later with your cheeks tainted red.”
“That’s – “, Jungkook falls silent for he is far too shocked to come up with an answer.
He would never. Never. Never. To even think about it...let alone do. Never. Just, never.
“-not mine to ask. You must forgive me Sire, I shouldn’t have asked.”
Jungkook scoffs and looks away, meeting the assistants’ curious gazes. They are studying him, looking at him as if he allowed them to do so.
“What?” he spits, making them flinch and giggle, “stop laughing.”
“Now, now. Don’t be too harsh on them, Sire. Everyone in the castle is excited about the news. You must know, Our Majesty usually doesn’t keep male guests, so we are all excited that she chose such a handsome, strong man to be by her side.”
“I’m not by her side”, he squeaks, “I’m her prisoner.”
They all giggle.
“I see Sire, her prisoner.”
“Why did you say this so weirdly?”
The tailor grins boyishly and winks at him.
“That is – no, just no. How dare you even think of that. This is outrageous, I – no.”
 The assistants giggle again.
“Stop laughing!”
They don’t listen, whispering and giggling to each other as they begin comparing fabrics again. The tailor moves on to measure Jungkook’s chest.
“I’m her prisoner, I mean it. She is keeping me against my will”, he stresses, whispering the words to the tailor, “shouldn’t you be on my side?”
“And why should I?”
“Because you and I are the same. We should stick together.”
“You and I are not the same Sire, believe me.”
“Can’t you see that they have cursed you?”
“Cursed me?” the tailor laughs, “this is utter nonsense.”
“It isn’t and you know that it isn’t. What did they do to you? Did they torture you?”
“No Sire, I am a simple dressmaker, nothing more.”
“Help me, please.”
“Help you? With what?”
“Why do you want to escape Sire? Is Our Majesty not treating you well?”
“No, she is a monster.”
“A monster?” the tailor asks and chuckles, “how ridiculous.”
“I am serious. They are all witches here. All of them and you are nothing but their puppet.”
At that the tailor stops working.
“Now I must forget my manners for a second. Stop calling them witches, they aren’t witches. They have names and feelings and they care a fuck more about you than Rafkan ever did.”
“Excuse me?” Jungkook gasps. Where did that man’s manners go?
The tailor hooks his fingers in Jungkook’s shirt collar and rips it open. Jungkook had no time to react, left gawking at the tailor with widened eyes. His tattoo is on complete display for the tailor and his assistants, they stare at it with pitiful eyes.
“The Ravens of the Black Forest sent you.”
Jungkook covers his tattoo quickly, fumbling with his shirt in hopes of repairing it.
“And if they did? You know going against me will end in your deaths.”
“I know, Jungkook.”
“How, how do you know my name?”
The tailor unbuttons his coat and pulls it open, revealing a black raven tattoo on his chest.
“I was one of you once. A Raven, filled with hatred for the women you call witches and with my mind poisoned in lies. You probably don’t remember me, you were with the Ravens for a little over five months when Rafkan sent me away to kill the Queen’s mother.”
Jungkook jumps from the steps, grabbing the tailor by his throat.
“You traitor. I’ll bash your head in”, he spits, pushing him against a wall.
The assistants wanted to help, but the tailor stops them with a raise of his hand. Jungkook can feel their scared eyes on the back of his head.
“I’m not your enemy Jungkook.”
“Yes you are. You betrayed our people.”
“Our people are here. The blacksmith? Left the Ravens five years ago. The warrior whose left eye always twitches? Left the Ravens after Rafkan hurt said eye in a fit of rage. The three philosophers you always see talking in the gardens? Ravens, who saw that life wasn’t about killing but learning. We weren’t killed by the Queen, we were saved.”
“Liar”, Jungkook growls, pressing him closer to the wall, "she kills people, I know she does."
“I’m not lying”, the tailor insists.
“She cursed you.”
“She didn’t.”
The tailor breaks Jungkook’s fingers away from his throat, lowering them. Jungkook lets him, feeling too weak to fight back. He was dizzy in confusion. This all didn’t make sense to him. 
“I was a little older than you are now when I left the Ravens”, the tailor begins, closing his coat as he speaks, “I climbed the walls and wanted to slit her throat. Just like Rafkan told me to do. I got captured and at first I was going mad at the idea of killing everyone in this castle. That is until I realised that I had never lived in such comfort before than I did here.”
“We are not meant to live in comfort. That is reserved for witches.”
“How naïve can you be, child?” the tailor spits, “we are not destined to live in the cold, wet darkness of the Black Forest and under the hand of a madman. We deserve a warm, comfortable home.”
“No”, he shakes his head, “no we do not.”
“Yes we do”, the tailor steps closer, taking Jungkook’s face between his hands, “tell me Jungkook have you ever slept as well in the Black Forest as you do here? Have you dined that well? Did you smell that good? Or even felt that safe?”
Jungkook falters, “n-no, but – “
“But what? Do you really think you are destined to die from the Black Forest’s toxic fumes or under the sharp teeth of one of the many monsters living in it?”
“That’s, that is why we train.”
“But we don’t have to. You don’t have to. Here, you don’t have to live each day thinking it is your last.”
“No”, Jungkook shakes him off, “no, I don’t believe you. She cursed you, I’m sure she did.”
“Then tell me Jungkook. Do you feel cursed ever since you came here or do you still feel like yourself?”
“Like….like…” Jungkook swallows, pushing his hair back nervously, “I don’t know. Don’t ask me that, I don’t know.”
“I think you do.”
Jungkook shakes his head.
“Tell me Jungkook.”
“I can’t, I don’t know.”
“You do. Tell me!”
“Tell. Me.”
“I feel like myself and I feel a lot damn better than I did in the past!”
The tailor smiles, features softening.
“You see? It wasn’t that hard to admit.”
“Yes it was”, Jungkook chokes out and sinks down on the bed, burying his face in his hands.
All those Ravens Rafkan told him about, all those Ravens he said were killed painfully, actually found a new life here? They aren’t dead. They are alive, protected and taken care of. And...and he could have this too? No more cold, sleepless nights? No more endless days of hunger when hunting was bad? No more aching limbs and burning lungs? He could have this too. He could have a comfortable home. 
“I’m scared Bartholomew.”
“Scared of what?”
“What Rafkan will think of me once he finds out.”
Bartholomew sits down next to Jungkook and pats his back.
“Well, luckily for you. Rafkan can’t reach you here”, he says softly.
Jungkook exhales shakily and raises his head. He can’t reach him here. He can’t hurt him here. Jungkook exhales shakily. He can’t hurt him here.
Jungkook turns, staring at the fabrics behind him.
“Can I…look at them?” he asks quietly.
Bartholomew exchanges a proud look with his assistants, squeezing Jungkook’s shoulder brotherly.
“Of course you can Sire, look at all of them and pick out the ones you like the most. I will do the rest.”
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You are holding a banquet for guests from far away countries. The princess of the Sand Queendom and her husband came with their closest friends. The powerful Sorceresses of the Ruby Hills came, bearing gifts of gemstones and healing oils. Even then Huntresses of the Snow Wall with their black horses and long braided hair came to celebrate with the people of the Night Queendom. He was your guest, the man by your side in fine silks but with chains around his ankles hidden underneath the tablecloth. He hated the evening at first, but then you fed him delicious food and ran your fingers through his hair and he didn’t quite hate the evening as much anymore. He just hated that he didn’t hate your tenderness and worse that he craved it whenever you paid attention to someone else. He especially hated himself when he felt jealousy in his stomach as he watched you dance with another man, laughing at his jokes and holding his hand.
He stands up from his chair, feeling Valkeria’s iron grip on his shoulder in an instance.
“Stay birdie”, she hisses.
He looks up at her with dark eyes.
“I want to dance with her.”
“You want to dance?” she laughs tauntingly, “and make a fool of yourself?”
She shakes her head and looks at Yeri and Auralia with amusement in her eyes. She slaps the back of his head so hard that he hears ringing in his ears for a few minutes.
“Just stay seated and spare yourself of the embarrassment. Idiot.”
Jungkook clenches his jaw and eyes the knife on the table. Maybe he could reach for it and use it to poke Valkeria into her stupid mouth. He hates her so much. He has been the Queen’s guest since two months and she is still hurting him whenever the Queen wasn’t looking. He can’t stand her. She is cruel and exactly how he imagines actual witches to be like.
“That was exciting”, you return before he could hurt Valkeria, plopping down on your chair beside him. Your skin is glistening in a sheer layer of sweat and you are slightly out of breath. Jungkook lets his eyes linger on your neck for a moment, your jewellery was slightly out of place. He wants to fix it, but doesn’t dare with Valkeria’s fingers still tightly around his shoulder. Jungkook looks away, searching for the man who made you laugh. He is dancing with another woman already, making her smile as well. Jungkook looks away, turning a cold shoulder to you. He is angry at you for leaving him with Valkeria and for giving attention to this weird-looking man. Yes, Jungkook thought that the man looked really weird with his blonde hair and blue dress. He looked far better than that fool.
You study him and the hand on his shoulder.
“Valkeria let go of him”, you say.
“Yes my Queen”, she says and steps back in an instance.
You turn on the chair to face him, placing your hand on his lower arm.
“What is the matter Jungkook?”
“Nothing”, he presses out.
“Do you want more food? More wine?”
He shakes his head.
“Perhaps you want to dance?”
He gnaws on his lower lip in contemplation. He does want to dance. Valkeria laughs behind him, voice carrying judgment. Or perhaps he doesn’t want to dance. He shakes his head and turns away even more.
“Speak to me.”
“I want your warriors to stop hurting me”, he hisses and turns to face you, “I’ve done what you wanted me to do. I stayed with you, behaved, was your little puppet whenever you wanted to bath or feed me. I don’t deserve to be hurt by someone like Valkeria whenever you aren’t looking.”
You look over his shoulder at Valkeria. She seems shocked that Jungkook dares to out her in such a way.
“Is that true?” you ask both Jungkook and Valkeria.
“Yes.” “He is lying.”
You look at Jungkook. He lowers his eyes, knitting his brows in anger.
“It seems that your stories aren’t matching.”
“He is lying my Queen. He just wants special treatment. I would never hurt your prisoners.”
“He is not my prisoner. He is my guest.”
“He is still lying.”
“I’m not lying!” he complains loudly.
Valkeria draws her sword halfway, “say that again birdie and I-“
“Worry not Valkeria”, you interrupt her, “I already know who to believe”, you look back at Jungkook, “come now Jungkook, let us leave.”
“What?” he gasps.
You pull him to his feet and away from your warriors.
“But I am telling the truth”, he insists loudly, fighting against you.
“I know”, you assure him, “but I don’t want to stay here when my own people want to hurt my guest.”
“Where, where are we going?” he stutters, stumbling after you.
“Far away from the festivities.”
Jungkook looks over his shoulder. Your warriors are looking at you and him, Valkeria carries hatred in her eyes. He smiles at her victoriously, making the anger in her eyes worsen. Then he turns to the front again, running with you.
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His love for running soon turns sour however, when he stumbles over his chains yet again, hurting his ankles in the process. You support him so he wouldn’t fall, but the pain still lingers.
“Stop running”, he hisses, ripping his hands free, “I can’t run anymore.”
You whip around, reaching for his wrists again.
“Why? We are almost there.”
“At least take off my chains.”
You look down at his feet then back into his eyes.
“Are you in pain?”
“Yes I am. They hurt me. Why are you still chaining me up?”
“Very well then, you are my guest after all. I apologize, it was long overdue, wasn’t it?” you say and he can hear a faint click from the ground. Freedom, he can feel it. His ankles don’t ache anymore.
“How is that possible?” he gasps, stumbling away from the chains, which were on his body a second ago.
“I told you they are infused with magic. They only open when I want them to and I wanted them to open.”
He takes another step back, “I’m free?” he whispers, gawking at you.
You smile and nod, stretching out your arm and offering him your hand.
“Come now, let me show you everything.”
He looks between your hand and the opened gate. You freed him. He scans his surroundings. Three guards on the walls, but none at the gate. Five banquet guests and ten horses. No wolves, none. A sturdy stick to his right and a thick metal pole to his left. He could do it, fulfill his destiny and kill you. Nobody would notice and if they did, he could flee easily. He has always been the fastest runner of them all. He looks back at you, your smile and gentle eyes and your welcoming stance. But destiny has waited for so long already, he is sure that she can wait another night. He takes a deep breath and steps closer, placing his hand into yours.
“Let’s run, just one last time.”
And then you run. You run past gawking banquet guests and worried guards, you run down stairs and climb over rocks, you run up hills and stumble through forests, you run until tears have collected in both your eyes and Jungkook tastes the night air in his throat. And then you stop, underneath a white oak tree with its bark weeping darkness, you stop.
You turn and look at him with glimmering eyes. It makes him nervous and so he looks to the side, scanning his surroundings again. The forest was tense, but carried the smell of life. Not like the Black Forest with its deathly stench. He looked at the white oak again.
“What is this place?” he asks.
“This is the tree of our ancestors Jungkook. Mine and yours”, you explain, pulling at his hands to guide him to the tree.
“The tree of our ancestors?”
“Yes. They danced beneath it, sang songs to it and nourished it until it was strong and tall”, you say and place his hand on the bark.
“Do you feel that?” you ask him.
“A heartbeat”, he whispers.
“Yes”, you squeeze his hand.
“Where is it coming from?”
“It belongs to the tree.”
“The tree?”
“Yes, the tree.”
Jungkook counts the heartbeats, having to swallow. He can feel them so clearly.
“Is…is it human?”
“No”, you laugh softly, “it is neither human nor creature. Jungkook, it is everything. Every stone you see, every grass that grows, every stream which trickles and every tree that reaches for the sun. Even the air that surrounds us and the rain on your skin.”
The heartbeat against his fingers is steady, like that of a calm, sleeping body. It overwhelms him. He feels life surge through his veins and at the same time feels his body drain. He blinks, feeling his eyes burn in tears.
“I, I don’t understand. It is a tree. How, how can it be everything?”
“Must you really know the answer or isn’t it already enough to know that everything we stand on, feel, smell, see and taste is connected?” you say, taking both his hands to turn him to you.
Even now when his hands are resting in your palms, he can feel the heartbeat on his fingertips. It lingers on his skin and burns itself into his memories. He feels changed, as if he touched life itself.  
“But how?” he breathes, “how is it possible that everything is connected?”
“Its roots of course”, you say and smile, “they reach from the Snowy Mountains in the north to the Singing River on the south border and from the Nourishing Fields in the east all the way into the deepest corners of the Black Forest in the west. It gives everything life, nourishes it, protects it from harm and talks to it.”
“Talk? The tree talks?”
You chuckle, “not like you and I would. No, it speaks in a language not many of us still know for knowing it takes a lot of time.”
He inhales shakily.
“What…what does the land talk about?” he asks quietly.
“Many things. History mostly and songs”, you look at him, “you can hear those most of the times. If you listen closely.”
“How can I listen?”
You step closer, making his heart skip a beat as you brush your lips against his ear.
“Close your eyes and listen”, you whisper.
He shivers, eyes falling closed on instinct. He doesn’t hear it at first and it makes him think that you were simply taking him for a fool. He had already wanted to open his eyes again when suddenly a gust of wind made the leaves above his head rustle. They sound like hundreds of voice whispering songs and poems. The call of an owl joins them soon and in the far distance crickets chirp the harmony. Then the cracking of a branch and the trampling of hooves as a herd of deer hurries through the safety of the high shrubs, like drums they control the tempo of the song.
He opens his eyes, allowing a single tear to roll down his cheek.
“You could hear it, couldn’t you?”
He nods his head, knitting his brows and biting down on his lower lip.
“I know how you feel. It made me cry the first time too”, you say, cupping his cheek.
He lowers his head into your touch and squeezes his eyes shut, sobbing quietly.
“I never noticed it”, he presses out.
“Noticed what?”
“The songs.”
“I see”, you drift off.
He sobs and sniffles. He feels so embarrassed for crying, not because he is crying but because he has no idea why he is crying in the first place. This tree, this place, the songs and your warming touch, it moved something inside of him. He realised how dark he lived his life. He lived out his days with his heart filled with hatred, anger and resentment when he could have closed his eyes and felt the connection everywhere. Why did he waste so much of his life resenting something, someone, when he could have spent it loving the rest?
“Do you want to see everything?” you ask him.
He opens his eyes, allowing you to brush his tears away.
“Yes”, he whispers, making you smile.
You step forward and call into the night. Jungkook is mesmerised, your song blends with the songs of the lands and gives them strength. You end the call with a sigh.
“What was that?” he asks.
“I called my friends.”
“Your friends?”
Then he can hear it. The shuffling of feet, the cracking of branches, rustling of leaves and low growling. He draws closer to you, reaching for his blade on instinct. He doesn’t have it on him, of course he doesn’t, but the instinct was still there. He stares into the darkness with held breath, stumbling back when out of it a pack of wolves step. As tall as trees and with their fur as black as the night.
“No”, he gasps, “no what, what is this?”
“Not what”, you look at him, “but who.”
They circle you and him, growling deeply with their fangs bared. You step closer, reaching your hand out. The tallest of them all with its eyes burning in a deep green, rests its nose against your palm.
“This is Woltron”, you say and Jungkook feels his blood freeze.
“You lied to me”, he gasps.
“Lied to you?” you laugh, “you must tell me what you mean for I am utterly confused.”
“You will feed me to him.”
You laugh, “oh dear Jungkook, no. I want you to meet him. Come, step closer.”
He shakes his head.
“No”, he takes a step back, colliding with the nose of another wolf. It growls, watching him with fiery eyes, “no, stay away!” he exclaims, fleeing in an instance. He grasps your arm, hiding behind you.
“You mustn’t be scared”, you chuckle, “they won’t eat you. Well, unless you fail their test that is.”
“Their test?”
You pull him closer until he was face to face with Woltron. Its emerald eyes were drawing him in to the point that he felt dizzy.
“You see Jungkook, they aren’t just wolves. They are gods, old gods who wandered the earth way before humans graced it. They share their memories with the tree of our ancestors, they listen to its voice and answer it in songs.”
Woltron steps so close that Jungkook could feel its hot breath on his skin.
“W-what is it doing to me?”
“He is looking into your heart to see if you carry good in it. If you do, he will allow you to live”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then he will eat you.”
“What?” Jungkook turns away and closes his eyes, “no. No, I can’t. I will be eaten alive.”
You cup his cheek and brush your thumbs over his cheekbones. It makes him open his eyes.
“Trust me”, you whisper.
He shakes his head.
“But I-I am not good. I don’t want to die.”
You smile and caress his lips.
“Trust me Jungkook.”
He exhales shakily. Your touch must be magic, he feels so reassured that he allows you to turn his head back to Woltron’s piercing gaze. You hold his hand as the wolf was gazing into his heart, caressing his knuckles and studying his fearful face. You know that he will pass. You have seen it in his eyes the moment he pressed the blade against your throat. You saw the good in him and as Woltron bows His head at Jungkook you know that He saw it too.
“What is happening?” Jungkook asks, squeezing your hand.
“He is giving you his blessing.”
“I…” he throws his hand over his mouth, “…I passed?”
“But…I’m not good.”
“Yes, you are.”
Jungkook looks at you with tears in his eyes.
“You believed I was?”
“I didn’t believe it, I knew it.”
He blinks, “why? I-I’m a Raven, I’m trained to kill people like you, I pressed a blade against your throat.”
“Even if you are all those things you say that you are, your eyes are filled with good.”
“My eyes?”
“Yes, your eyes.”
You reach out, making him close his eyes in instinct. You touch his lashes softly, caressing his lids afterwards. It makes him sigh.
“Those beautiful, beautiful eyes”, you breathe and step closer, “those aren’t the eyes of a killer.”
He opens his eyes, feeling himself shiver with every single one of your touches. You smile.
“Come now, I will show you everything.”
“How?” his voice felt raspy as he spoke and so he clears it with a shy cough.
“Woltron will take us.”
The wolf rests before you and him and Jungkook watches you as you climb on its back.
“Climb on him.”
Jungkook is hesitant at first. He fears that this was all a trick of the wolf, that once he is close he will open its mouth and eat him whole. Jungkook is so sure that he wasn’t good. The wolf must be playing tricks on him.
The wolf, which nose he had bumped before, pushes him all of a sudden. Jungkook stumbles, falling against Woltron’s warm body.
“It was an accident, please don’t eat me”, he gasps, fearing for his life.
The wolf merely grumbles and waits for him patiently. You giggle, petting his hair.
“You must stop being frightened. They have already accepted you as their friend.”
Jungkook looks up. He finds it mesmerising how you sit on top of Woltron, tall and confident. He thinks that this place fits you. You smile then.
“Come join me”, you encourage him, pulling at his arm.
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Jungkook feels as if he was living in a dream. The wolf carried you and him, took the both of you through the thickness of the forest until a high mountain cut off his way and he had to climb it. He only stopped once you had reached the top. He stayed back with his pack, resting on the snow with his eyes closed. It was cold on the mountain and Jungkook felt himself shiver ever so often. His breath was visible in the air, like a little cloud it lingered in the air for as long as he exhaled.
“It is cold.”
“Are you cold?”
“A little”, he answers.
“Here”, you say and take off your shawl, “it will keep you warm.”
“But you will freeze.”
You laugh, wrapping it around his neck a few times.
“I drank enough wine to keep me warm, worry not I am a heated drunk.”
He knits his brows, deep creases appearing on his forehead.
“What is the matter? Do you not like the shawl?”
He shakes his head, “I mean yes! Yes I do, I am just so confused.”
“Confused? About what?”
“Why you offer me tenderness and why you believed me instead of Valkeria and why you haven’t slid my throat yet.”
“I must say, it makes me sad that you still think that I want to kill you”, you say and Jungkook felt himself lower his eyes in shame.
“But I know why you would think like that”, you assure him, “it is difficult to shake off old habits.”
You tug at his shawl softly to bring him closer.
“You can trust me Jungkook. I don’t want to kill you.”
Jungkook inhales, catching a sweet scent. It was coming from the shawl. It was your scent. He knows that it was your scent because this is exactly how a room began to smell whenever you entered it. It made him dizzy right now.
“Come now, I am already so excited to show you everything”, you say and take Jungkook’s hand, leading him to the edge of the plateau.
“This is our home”, you tell him, extending your arm to point at everything.
Jungkook could see everything. The Singing River in the south, the Nourishing Fields in the east, even his home, the Black Forest he could see. The land lacked colour now that the night was touching it, only the blue light of the moon gave everything colour. But it looked beautiful nonetheless.
“Is this everything?”
“Yes, this is everything.”
“This is really everything?”
“Yes”, you say and chuckle fondly, “well at least everything your eyes can see. There are countries way beyond our vision, but what you see before you is our home.”
He feels so close to tears again. He always thought his world to be so small. It reached from the east border of the Black Forest to the west border and ended by the juncture where it met the Singing River. The Nourishing Fields were nothing but a legend to him and the snowy mountains were nothing but grey phantoms in the distance. He never would have dared to even dream of one day standing on said phantoms and looking at everything.
“It is so big”, he whispers.
“Yes, it really is”, you squeeze his hand, “tell me Jungkook, where have you been already?”
He points at the Black Forest and then your castle, lowering his arm afterwards.
“I see. Mhm”, you pause to contemplate, “worry not, you still have enough time to see the rest. You must see the Singing River in summer, oh its waters are wonderful to swim in. And the Nourishing Fields, oh Jungkook you would love the colours they carry in autumn.”
“Have you been?”
“Yes, many times.”
“With Seokjin too?”
“No, he wasn’t special enough.”
“I’m special”, he whispers more to himself than to you.  
He smiles and closes his eyes to listen for the songs. The Singing River in the distance. The wind down below as it swirls through the trees. The call of an ibex and the answering call of its mate. And behind him the old gods talk to each through their wolf form. Perhaps it is the fresh air on this mountain or the thought that Seokjin wasn’t special but he is, but he thinks that the songs sound even better up here.
He opens his eyes, realising that you had been watching him. He can see the stars reflected in your eyes. You smile softly and draw closer.
“Do you understand now?”
He felt himself smile and pull you closer by your hand.
“I think, I finally do.”
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You don’t wake up at first, only when you feel coldness against your throat. It is dark in your room, but the moon gives it enough light to reveal Jungkook’s features to your eyes. He is sitting on your lap, hovering over you with one hand tightly wrapped around your wrists. He had placed them above your head, moving them turns out to be impossible.
"Jungkook?" you ask, mind foggy in sleep. That changes when the coldness against your throat moves. You widen your eyes, trying to gawk at whatever it was that bothered you. 
"What is that? What are you doing?" you ask him calmly, eyeing the sharp knife he is grasping. 
"What have you done to me?" he asks, voice shaking in emotion. 
"Nothing. What are you doing to me?" 
He presses the knife closer, squeezes your wrists. 
"I am asking the questions tonight." 
"I understand. Ask them."
"I came to kill you. What have you done to me to make me forget my destiny?”
“I showed you your real one.”
He falters and breathes shakily. He shakes his head, finding his composure again.
“I hate you. I am supposed to hate you”, he spits, pressing the knife closer, “why did you take this from me?”
“I didn’t, you just let it go.”
“Stop”, he chokes out and whimpers.
“Why are you crying?”
“I am crying because my head is foggy and it is your fault. You cursed me, witch.”
You raise your head, making the blade glide into your skin.
“Then kill me.”
He draws closer. His tears trip down on your face. He is shaking, squeezing your wrists and pressing the knife closer. He can watch one single droplet of blood taint the clean metal. He looks back into your eyes, meeting nothing but sad understanding in them. Even now when he was cutting your skin and was holding your life in his hands, you weren’t angry at him. Jungkook sobs, tilting your head up with his knife. You let him, lips curling into a reassuring smile.
“I hate you”, he chokes out.
"No you don’t", you whisper.
He whimpers, knife gliding from his fingers as he kisses you deeply. You melt into him, allowing him to taste your sigh. He squeezes his eyes shut and sobs, kissing you deeper until he is sure that nothing could separate the two of you. 
He came to kill you. He was so sure that tonight he would finally fulfill the task Rafkan gave him. He decided that he would. Two hours ago when you left his chambers for the night and left him with his thoughts. Two hours ago when he tossed and turned in his bed and thought about what had happened earlier that night. When you showed him everything and held his hand whilst doing so. He thought about it, repeated it in his head over and over again until it drove him mad. He was not supposed to like you, he was supposed to hate you. And so he decided that tonight he would finally kill you and rid himself of his greatest burden. 
It seems that his plan wasn’t working. Jungkook whimpers and presses you closer with his hand on your back. You arch for him, pulse racing in your wrists. And Jungkook whimpers again, feeling dizzy. He wants to hate that he failed again, but he can’t. No matter how hard he tries, all he finds in his heart is the overwhelming urge to keep kissing you. 
His hand runs up your body to cup your face. He practically pulls you on his mouth, forcing you to sit up as chasing him would be impossible otherwise. You chase him happily, arms hooking behind his neck and lips parting for his tongue. 
He tastes of sweets and temptation. You taste of honey and perdition.
Jungkook breaks the kiss, breath intermingling with yours. 
"I can’t stop." 
"Good, don’t." 
"Why are you doing this to me?" 
"I'm not doing anything, this is all you." 
He exhales shakily, drawing closer. You sit up more, making him flee as your teeth bite his lower lip. He gasps and shivers, thighs squeezing together on your lap. As much as he is fleeing he is also chasing the feeling.
You break the kiss, tugging on lip until he groans. You release it with a purr, dark eyes flitting up to meet Jungkook’s. He towers over you in this position, eyes widened and fingers grasping your shoulders. You like the heaviness of his body on your lap and the warmth of his skin.
"You bit me”, he gasps, licking off the faint taste of iron.
"I did”, you say and smirk, eyes glued to his swollen lips.
He licks over his lip again, tasting nothing but the sweet lingering of your kiss. He looks at your neck then and the little cut he left behind. It is almost an instinct in him to lean down and kiss it. He couldn't stop it from happening, just as you can’t stop your head from tilting back. Jungkook feels your moan against his lips as he sucks on your skin softly. He believes that such sounds must be your way of cursing him as they leave him aching between his legs. He never felt such aching before. It must be magical. It simply must. He breaks away, stares at his crotch. It has…grown?
"What is happening? What are you doing?" he asks. 
You open your eyes and study his features. He is confusing you. He speaks of things happening while you did nothing but accept the tenderness he offered you. Then your eyes fall to his middle and you understand. He is straining against his pants with such intensity you fear he might rip through the fabric.
“You’ve hardened”, you smile and touch it, watching how he shakes at the feeling. 
“What – oh – what are you d-doing?” he stutters, wiggling back and forth on your lap as he hadn’t quite decided yet if he wanted to flee or accept it.
"I'm making you feel good", you say, rubbing his length continuously. 
He gasps, eyes threatening to close and fingers falling to your wrists to stop you.
"Don't stop it Jungkook, allow it to happen."
"But, but it''s….it's not what I came here for." 
"We both know this is a lie", you say, rubbing circles on his leaking tip. The fabric has dampened, leaving an imprint on your fingers. 
Jungkook moans, widening his eyes in shock afterwards. He wasn’t intending to make such crude sounds. He was trained differently, trained that his manhood wasn’t made to give him good sensations but was a tool to keep his bladder from breaking. Good sensations would let the demons of the witches in, so Rafkan said. But he can’t help it. He just…has to make a sound again.
He whimpers, head tangling to the front and lips pressing against your cheek as he begins panting.
"There you go. You sound so sweet", you encourage him, squeezing his length as you rub your palm up and down. 
His fingers loosen from your wrists, thighs squeezing around your legs. He doesn’t want those sensations to stop. He likes that feeling. So he hopes that Rafkan was wrong about the demons too, he was wrong about a lot of things already after all.
"Do you want to give in, Jungkook?" 
"That delights me", you abandon his length to hold his shoulders instead, "I want to give in too." 
You flip the both of you over, sitting down on his lap. He hasn’t even recovered from the change of position yet and you have already grasped the knife and rested its tip against his chin. Confusion ignites in his eyes, growing when you drag the cold metal up his jawline and over his lips. He doesn’t dare to breathe, body tense in fear that if he moved, you would cut him. 
“You stole it from Valkeria, didn’t you?” you ask, dragging it down the other side of his jaw and neck.
“Yes”, he presses out, eyeing the silver blade.
You laugh, “she will hit you once she finds out.”
“You won’t allow her.”
You smile, dancing the knife down his throat just gently enough that it makes him shiver.
“No, I won’t allow her”, you assure him and then he could feel his shirt tear as you drag the blade through the fabric.
He gasps and shudders, back arching off the mattress. So that is why you grasped it, you wanted him bared to you as if he was yours to marvel at. You rip his shirt from his body, running your hands down his torso. Jungkook can feel your warm, soft palms and the cold, hard handle of the knife. It is such an opposite of sensations that he feels breathless.  
You cut his pants as well, bearing him to the coldness of the blade. You place it on the inside of his right leg, dragging it up his skin. Goosebumps rise on the rosy path you leave, his legs part for you. He rolls his hip up once you have reached his inner thigh, fingers grasping the sheets. With a curious fire burning in your eyes, you rest the blade against his swelling member. He shivers at the contact, twisting the sheets.
“Tell me Jungkook. Do you trust me?” you ask, turning the knife so the sharp side of the blade was pressed against his skin.
His chest heaves up and down in a deep breath, you can watch how it stretches his dark tattoo and makes his muscles ripple.
“Do you trust me Jungkook?”
Your eyes meet. Yours sparkled in mischief as you dragged the blade up the entire length of him. It felt cold on his skin, especially on his tip. He gasps and tenses his legs for bucking up his hips would have ended in pain.
“So you don’t think that I will wear your pride as a necklace?” you continue, running the blade down to the base again. You outlined his veins as you went, watching them change under the touch before they popped back into their original shape. It was mesmerising to watch. You press the blade against the base of his length.
“Mhm?” you stress.
He eyes your fingers, swallowing nervously.
“No”, he chokes out, eyes meeting yours in a silent question if his trust was misplaced.
You smile, “that’s good.”
You abandon his length and drag the knife up his abdomen instead, watching how his muscles reacted with every grace. You stop when the blade rests against his tattoo, making eye contact with him. You begin tracing it, making his nipple harden and painting goosebumps all over his skin.
“Who would have thought that the caged bird would be mine one day”, you say, watching how he swallows heavily.
“Like your slave?”
You chuckle deeply, putting pressure on his skin just enough to pierce it. He groans and arches into you, neck flexing as he throws his head back. The raven on his chest is crying one single tear of ruby for you. You wipe it away with your finger, tainting his skin a deep, deep red.
Jungkook looks at you again, brows knitted in pleasure.
“Do you want to be my slave Jungkook?”
He looks away and blushes.
You laugh fondly and twist the knife in your fingers so the handle would be facing him. He looks at it in confusion.
“It’s yours again.”
Jungkook accepts it and sits up, wrapping his fingers around your throat gently. He is so close, dark eyes challenging you dangerously. He starts from the bottom, cutting open the cords of your gown. It cracks with every new cord cut, making you shiver each time. He tilts your head up and squeezes softly. Your eyelids flutter, your head becoming dizzy.
One cord left. He cuts it slowly, eyes lowering darkly. The knife falls from his fingers and lands on the floor with a shrill sound. It is forgotten in an instance as Jungkook hooks his fingers in your ruined gown and rips it from your body.
You were only gone from his lap for a second and then you are already connected with him, sinking down on his length until you have swallowed him whole.
“Fuck”, he presses out, digging his nails into your shoulders.
You agree with a deep moan, twisting his hair at the nape of his neck. Then you begin moving, watching his eyes roll to the back of his head.
“This is witchcraft”, he chokes out.
“Why? Because nothing worldly could feel that good?” you ask him, voice quivering in pleasure.
He throws his head back and presses you closer by your shoulders.
“Yes”, he moans, allowing his mouth to fall open.
“Well, then I am glad that I am the one to bewitch you”, you say, pushing at his chest until he collides with the mattress.
You wrap your fingers around his throat and squeeze softly. His chest rumbles in a growl, fingers slipping down your body until they are grasping your dancing hips, bruising your skin in the process.
His raven hair is spread out on your pillow, his neck was tense and his eyes squeezed shut. Your own threatened to close each time his length graced your favourite spot, if his blissed-out face wasn’t so mesmerising to look at, you would have already closed them. But it was mesmerising to look at and nothing gave you more joy than seeing a man get lost in the feeling of your warmth. Especially if that man was Jungkook, the stranger who months ago pressed a blade to your throat and the lover who right now feels like magic in your body. 
“What are you doing to me? Oh ___, what are you doing to me?” he pants, voice pitched in pleasure.
“Making you mine”, you rasp, writing your name with your hips.
“Yours”, he moans, back arching and heels digging into the mattress.
He bucks his hips up, forcing your torso closer to his’. You moan loudly, squeezing his throat as a reward. He whimpers and swallows heavily, eyes rolling to the back of his skull even now that he has them closed.
“Do you like being mine Jungkook?” you challenge.
“Yes”, he chokes out, basking in the feeling of your nectar coating his every inch.
“Tell me, is my witchcraft still a curse?”
He shakes his head vigorously, “no, no, no it’s not.”
You smile victoriously and straighten up again, forcing his legs back down with two strong hands. You arch your body, finding support on his thighs and throwing your head back.
Jungkook lifts his head for only a second and then the view of his length disappearing inside of you repeatedly becomes too much to bear. He moans loudly, head falling back into the pillows and hands tugging on your hips in desperation. Feeling your warmth is one thing, but watching the movements to the sensations is utterly and truly messing him up. If that is the dangerous witchcraft Rafkan told him to stay away from then Rafkan is a fool. Why would a sane man stay away from such feelings?
Your right hand leaves his muscular thigh, grasping his wrist instead.
“Be useful”, you order him, guiding his hand to your middle.
He is watching you again, shaking with his head dizzy. He groans, lungs wheezing for air, when you make him touch your warmth. It is so soft against his fingertip. You guide his thumb, making him roll circles on your clit.
“Touch me like this”, you tell him, abandoning his wrist to hold his thigh again.
You became tighter ever since he started touching you. Jungkook feels his toes curl at the sensation. He doesn’t want it to end, he wants to experience it until his heart gives up on him and his brain becomes mush. And because he doesn’t want it to end and you told him to touch you at this spot, he continues doing what you told him to do, keeping his eyes glued to your face.
You are glowing in ecstasy, lips parted and eyes closed. Your nails hurt him, he is aware of every nerve you hit as he can feel it tingle all the way to the tip of his length. He abandons your face then, looking at your breasts. He saw them many times already whenever you bathed with him, but he likes them a lot more tonight. They move in a very mesmerising way as you bounce on him. He wants to touch them. 
Your hips falter, your walls squeeze him. A dark smirk curls your lips. 
"You are learning", you say, shivering each time Jungkook squeezes your breast with his big hand and rolls circles on your pleasure spot with his other.
“Oh Jungkook”, you arch and quiver, “, oh Jungkook, oh sweet Jungkook.”
He is lost for breath. He can bewitch you too? He thought only witches could curse other people, not him. He was just a normal man. But then. You were nothing but a normal woman too, you told him many times before. This wasn’t witchcraft, this was simple, but breathtaking, worldly magic. 
You moan loudly, falling to the front. He could feel the impact your hand did as you slammed it on the mattress beside his head. Your other hand wraps around his throat again, making him look into your fiery eyes. 
"You are doing so good that I feel close to breaking", you growl with your voice deeper than usual. 
Jungkook swallows, head dizzy from your fingers cutting off his blood flow. Your hips speed up, forcing a guttural moan out of him. 
"I see you are close too." 
"Close to, to what?" 
You slow down your movements, drawing circles as you connect your lips with the shell of his ear. He mewls with every movement, melting beneath you.
"Complete bliss", you rasp, squeezing down on him. 
He whimpers, eyes opening widely to stare at you in shock. The smile you give him is sending electricity down to his toes. 
"You didn’t know you could do this, did you?" 
He shakes his head vigorously, mouth falling open. You stop him with a tight squeeze, forcing a deep growl out of him. Then you speed up again, watching him go cross-eyed in pleasure. He stopped touching you, grasping your hips to push you off of him. This wasn’t worldly anymore. He was burning up, it is the demons, they are coming for him with hellfire and breathlessness. You choke him harder, squeezing your walls around him.
"I can’t, I can’t, I can’t", he sobs, writhing on the mattress uncontrollably. 
"Yes you can, allow it to happen", you growl.  
"No, I can’t." 
"Let go Jungkook", you order him and release his throat. 
He yelps up, breaking beneath you with such intensity he almost throws you off of him. You pin him down by his wrists, riding him through his shakes. Tears are soaking his cheeks, his mouth is agape so far you fear it might get stuck, he can’t even make a sound. His high has stolen his voice.
His shakes soon turn into painful writhes, his legs wiggling all over the mattress in a desperate attempt to flee. You want to stop, claim your high on his tongue instead, but he doesn’t let you. 
"Don't stop!" he screams despite writhing as if he wanted it to be over. 
"You are dangerous Jungkook. For me and for yourself", you growl, squeezing his wrists as you slam your hips down on him again. 
His body is bouncing off the mattress, making the headboard of your bed hit your wall repeatedly. You wouldn’t even mind if it decided to give up and break underneath you. Not when Jungkook is running through your every vein as if he was a drug meant to make you see colours which don’t exist. 
"Touch me again", you order him. 
His hand searches for your middle in an instance, fingers connecting with your pleasure spot messily. He rubs circles, doing so sloppily and quickly. It is a surprise with every second roll, making your toes curl. 
"That's it", you moan, "keep going." 
He wheezes for air, swallowing audibly afterwards. Is he looking at you or is he seeing the light? You can’t quite make it out through all the tears in his eyes.
“Are you doing fine?” you ask him.
He nods his head, blinking to make the tears roll down his cheeks again.
“Is this the best thing you have ever felt?” you ask, clenching in desperation.
He nods his head more vigorously, moaning your name brokenly.
“Keep touching me”, you stress with your voice pitched, “you are going to break me.”
“Break you”, he repeats, meeting your movements.
You squeak, almost falling into him if you hadn’t caught yourself before that. He watches you shake and hears you whimper.
“Break you”, he says, voice deeper than before.
He speeds his hips up and puts precision into his touches. Your eyes squeeze shut, mouth falling open. He is going to break you. He has enough power over you that he can break you. He is doing that to you. Oh, it makes him feel so good.
“Give it to me”, he growls impatiently, “now, give it to me now.”
“Jungkook”, you yelp up and give him what he needed. Your high, your bliss, your nirvana. And Jungkook accepts it with his own body tensing in his heaven, painting your spasming walls with his seed a second time.
You collapse on top of him. His skin is hot and sweaty, so is yours. You want to speak but find no energy in your body, so you sigh and twist his hair lovingly.
He runs his fingers up and down your spine, keeping his eyes closed. You haven’t let him escape yet, he can feel every pulse of your afterglow on his length. They come with no pattern to them, surprising him each time with a warm tingle in his stomach.
“Rafkan killed my parents”, he breaks the silence.
You sigh and hug him, “I see you truly understand now.”
“I won’t return to the Ravens”, he whispers.
“Mhm”, you smile against his neck, “this makes me happy.”
“Can I stay with you instead?”
“Of course you can.”
And as you raised your head and gazed into his eyes, Jungkook finally understood that no matter how many times he would travel back in time and live his life differently, he would always find his way to you, for being with you is his real destiny.
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@submissive-bangtan @tipsydipsydo @bts-fan-obsessed @anonymous2505 @jikooksgirl19 @lilmeowmeowyoongles @fan-ati--c​ @trusfatedk00kie​ @cravingforhotchocolate​ @seagulljk​ @kthblackgf​​ @greezenini​​ @pb-n-juju​​  @flxrcnt​​ @issysor​ @callmejimmeo​​
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bangtangalicious · a month ago
For touch me wherever pairing, something with somnophilia? Jk's parents finally agree for a sleepover at yn's and jk uses this opportunity to the fullest.
wanna touch you (m) | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x reader
genre: pwp, smut, oneshot | loss-of-innocence!au naive!reader x naive!jungkook childhood-friends-to-lovers!au
summary: jungkook is horny but you wont wake up!
wordcount: 2.2k
tw: somnophilia. smut. NEEDY!jungkook. read that again. masturbation. feverish stuttering raging hormones. VERY horny!koo, did i mention he is needy. breast play. cockwarming. body worship kinda. innocence. unhealthy attachment. obsessive thoughts. unprotected sex, penetrative sex, crying. begging? sweating. jungkook pov. this is filth. unrealistic. assume 18+ but very sheltered
a/n: thank you lovely anon for the req <3 this is just a drabble from the touch me wherever au but can be read by a standalone. i hope you enjoy ;) unedited
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Cuddled up in the slick warmth of the summer night, Jungkook lay with his arms tight around you, fingers curling over the back of your shoulders as though you were his only hold on reality.
Well you were—as far as he was concerned. He always felt the safest around you. He couldn't handle himself when he couldn't sense you near. Hear your beautiful voice, see your lovely smile or most of all, feel your comforting warmth.
A heat wave had taken your town by storm. It was extremely hot, even with the static clicking of the fan above. That wasn’t about to stop him from being close to you. Jungkook always loved to cuddle with you. Frustratingly enough, he hadn't been able to find as many opportunities to do so anymore. Sleepovers together had become increasingly infrequent, much to the irritating interference of both of your strict families.
He didn't understand what the big deal was. Back in the day, the two of you practically lived together—growing up in your heavily protected bubble. Either he would end up at your house, or you in his, sharing the same bed, the same shower—there was nothing you didn't share.
Until one day it all stopped. No longer could he wake up with his face pressed against your neck. No longer could he watch as you let soap drizzle down your pretty body. Jungkook had to adamantly plead & beg his parents to allow him to spend the night with you. After months of harsh rejections, finally they agreed. 
Having you in his arms again was bliss. He had been craving you for so long. You were the culprit of his sleepless nights. The criminal robbing his sanity as he clutched the plush toy he stole from your room many years ago against his heart, crying into his pillows. Cock straining in his shorts.
Jungkook knew you like the back of his hand, the things you liked, the movies you watched, the thoughts in your head - he knew it all. The sound of your voice was music to his ears. After school you would always go to his house and tell him all about your day. Spilling each and every detail, babbling away as he would trace shapes into your thighs. Blinking up, listening intently, mouth nibbling on your tits.
Being away from you was by far the most painful experience he ever had to endure. You were dizzying relief. You were the weight of his world. Everywhere, every thought he had surrounded you—he wanted you. 
Oh he wanted you bad.
He couldn't even understand himself at times. Moments when he would see you at school, chatting to your other friends. He knew you weren’t doing anything wrong, but still he’d want to throw a fit. Or when you would tell him you didn't feel like coming over after school. That you were too tired. It would absolutely destroy him.
None of that mattered in moments like this. This made it all okay. Jungkook sighed, nuzzling the top of your head, breathing in your intoxicating scent. He attempted to doze off. 
But he couldn't. Something stirred within him, prompting him to buck his lips slightly, sealing himself onto you. Your brows furrowed, likely due to the heat radiating between you. Jungkook pinched your cheek, admiring your restful state. Lips parted, slight drool at the edge of your lips, eyes shut tight.
Jungkook knew he should let you sleep. You were exhausted after staying up night after night, studying to appease your parents. He would stay up alongside you, massaging you while you worked. Giving you kisses all over your neck and shoulders when he would get bored, until finally you would lose focus too. 
Then he’d pull you into his lap and slurp your tongue into his mouth. Bouncing you up and down, blouse popped open, fingers trailing your hot skin while you pleaded for more.
In between his legs, he began to see a bulge. Groaning, he pressed himself into the mattress, trying to suppress the growing heat within him.
"Y-Y/n" He mumbled, nudging you again. You hummed slightly, but to no avail. Jungkook felt like screaming. His head throbbed, all he wanted to do was yank off all your clothes and kiss you everywhere, rub his cock all over your supple, soft skin.
Trembling, he slid his hand down his boxers. His length hot in his hand as he pulled at it slowly, biting back the cries of pleasure. Looking at you, still fast asleep while his tongue grazed over his lips. 
"P-please Y/n..." He squirmed closer to you, his fist brushing against your core as he carefully continued to stroke himself. He allowed his face to near yours, lips barely touching as whines slipped through. "I need you. Please. I...wanna touch you"
His strokes quickened, mind stuck on the way your nightgown had ridden up your legs, scrunched at your stomach. How he could see your heaving breasts through the useless hold of the soft silky fabric. Your underwear, bright in color, fully on display. Jungkook smiled softly. You were so cute.
Sweat trickled down the side of his face. "Y/n" He urged in a final attempt "Y/n h-help me please. It hurts. It hurts so bad Y/n pleaseee" He cried, voice raising enough to cause you to stir.
His breath hitched, you weren't budging. Irritation seized him. He needed to touch you. Couldn’t you just wake up for him? You would always give him what he wanted, especially if it helped him with the pain. So why couldn't he have you? He wanted you now. Now.
Fuck it! Jungkook thought. The pressure possessing his every vein was too much to bear. He could combust any minute if he didn't take you. You were right there—right there next to him. How was he supposed to resist? 
Getting up, Jungkook carefully hovered over you, thighs caging your unsuspecting frame as he slid down his boxers, tugging relentlessly at his cock. Bottom lip jutted out as he whimpered.
"Y-you're so pretty. Want you n-now. Please Y/n. I can't take it!! I can't I can't I can't!" He exhaled, tears budding in his eyes. Lowering himself, he thrusts against you slowly. Bare cock pushing against the fabric of your panties, nestling as far as it could go as Jungkook groaned. "Wake up-p" He whined, shaking you slightly.
You simply wouldn't. Jungkook hissed. Were you doing this on purpose? How could you stay asleep, ignore him when he needed you so bad? His body was shivering, desperate for the comforting heat that he could only get buried deep into your cunt.
"Fuckkkk" He sobbed, pushing his hips forward slightly, lips forming a circle as a rush of pleasure struck him. His fingers hesitantly stroked against the edge of your face before his tongue swiped against your lips. The plump flesh, tantalizing. An addicting flavor that only left him wanting more.
His high pitched moans muffled as he reached down to peel away your panties. Taking his heavy cock back into his palm, he traced it along your folds, allowing the tip to press against your clit, exchanging heated warmth, soaring pleasure. Jungkook grinned as your body twitched. He sighed in relief. You wanted this.
Shamelessly, he slotted himself into your dry cunt. You were immensely tight. He pushed in slightly, wincing at your hold. 
"C-can you p-please open for me?" He whispered, pecking your cheek. "Y/n come on please" His hips pushed in a bit further. "OH fuck" Jungkook hiccuped, gripping your hips tightly.
"Little more please..." He urged you. Your pussy swallowed him tightly, walls clamping around him. You felt incredible to him. It would blow his mind every time. He loved whenever he could touch you like this. 
"C-come on. Y/n. More. Just a little bit more please come on let me in" Without meaning to, he yanked your thighs down, pulling you the rest of the way onto his cock. The sudden thrust caused him to scream, instantly muffling his face into your neck. Nails digging into your ass he bucked his hips unconsciously, shooting his cum into you as you groaned in your sleep.
"NO" He sobbed, thrusting rapidly—not wanting it to be over so soon. He leaked and leaked, filling you up as he pumped into you, chasing a fleeting high. "Not yet. Not yetttt. Please not yet, I need more Y/n"
Tears rolled down his face as he laid on top of you, holding you tight as he cried. "I love you. I love you I love you so so so much" He pecked your neck with every word, not wanting to move. Relishing the wetness of being inside you.
"Koo..." You hummed, tongue licking your lips and you frowned slightly "So hot in here"
Jungkook scented your neck, tasting your sweet pearly sweat. "M’sorry. One more okay. One more and I'll stop"
He knew you couldn't really hear him. "S'really hot in here..."
Giggling slightly he nodded "Mhm. It is hot isn't it?" He could feel his cock hardening again as his tongue trailed down your chest. Pulling down your straps, he pushed your breasts up, fitting one into your mouth while the other smushed against his cheek.
His teeth grazed the perky nub, sucking lightly at them "Taste so good Y/n" He mumbled, mouth full of you. Gnawing lightly, his other hand flicked at the free breast, thumbing in soft circles. 
"MmmmMMMM" Widening his mouth, he licked his lips, allowing them to swallow more of you in, tongue running rampant, suckling you for all you were worth. Cock still perfectly warm inside of you, he could feel it twitch as your wet walls pulsed around him.
Switching to the other breast, he huffed before diving in. Watching the way your face contorted, gasping slightly as he continued on. He began to roll his hips, allowing his cock to drag out lightly before pushing right back in.
"Kooooo" You were covered in a mix of his and your sweat. Hands combing through his hair, pushing his face into you. "Please"
"Yeah?" Jungkook perked up at your barely coherent words. His heart was hammering in his chest in excitement. "Yeah? You like it? Do you Y/n? Do you like when I do this?" He rolled his hips again, watching you eagerly. Speeding up, the ease of his thrusts aided by your sticky arousal.
"I r-really like this Y/n. I really like how you feel." Jungkook whispered. "Will you let me do this to you whenever I want to? You will right? You love me right? You won't let me hurt." He couldn't even comprehend his own words at this point, dizzy with the sound of you squelching pussy. "D-do you hear that Y/n? Fuck. Fuck. You're so g-good"
He knew he was reaching his edge, but he wanted to savor you longer. Instinct had him speeding up, fucking you senselessly fast as his tears trickled onto your face.
"So good. F-feel so fucking good. Oh god. OH god. W-wanna give it to you. W-wanna give you everything please" His eyes clenched shut, his voice booming. Planting his lips onto yours, he screamed into your mouth, flooding you with cum.
He fell limply, rolling over as he dumped his load, stroking your back while holding you steady on his cock. Breathing shakily, he pulled out, watching as streams of white trickled down both your legs. Chuckling, he wiped his sweat, reaching for the blanket to wipe you off too. Taking the opportunity to admire your peaceful state.
"You're so pretty" His eyes were wide, trembling still, glossy with tears. He sniffled as he kissed you again "S-so pretty my Y/n. P-please don't leave me. Don't ever leave me" He began to sob, and finally your eyes shot open. Brows furrowed as you felt strangely sore and sticky. Seeing Jungkook next to you unraveling in tears. “Please. Don’t ever go”
"What's wrong?" You exclaimed, tilting his face to yours. He shook his head, avoiding your eyes.
"Nothing I just..." He choked, as you brushed his tears away with your thumb "I miss this. I miss you."
You giggled "Jungkookie. How can you miss me when I'm right here?" Pulling him into a hug, you held him tight while his eyes fluttered shut.
Your heart ached. You hated it when Jungkook was sad or in any sort of pain. Thinking deeply, you slid your hand down, finding his bare cock. Rolling your palm over him, you knew he would feel better if you touched him there. Just how he liked.
Hopefully he won't mind you doing it while he’s asleep.
masterlist | touch me wherever
a/n: god what even was this. lmao. wow. hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think! 
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moonchild1 · 3 months ago
jeon jungkook fic rec list (Ⅰ)
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hi guys here's a list of all my favourite jungkook fics I hope you enjoy them, please show your love and support to these amazing writers and their blogs 🖤🖤 just so you know majority of the fics contain smut so no minors allowed please, happy reading everyone ♡
a- angst s- smut f- fluff
learn to love by @knjoodles f a (teacher jk single parent au)
thinning thread by @flowerwrites06 s a (marriage au)
other half by @whatifyoulivelikethat f s (roommates to friends with benefits au)
forever doesn't exist by @jeonstheticcc Angst (break up au)
anima meaology by @arckook f a (soulmate au) ft. Taehyung
have a nice day by @lookingforluna s (doctor au established relationship au)
how many drinks? by @xpeachesncream f s a (best friends au college au)
come here I'm your paradise by @borathae f s (honeymoon au)
killing me softly with his touch by @borathae f
different paths by @taehyungiejiminie95 f a (dad au)
in the frosty air by @gukyi f a (roommate au)
the art of the rom-com by @gukyi f a (enemies to lovers au college au)
Aim for the heart by @writemywaytoyourheart f a (hitman jk)
matching hearts by @arcticguk f a (exes au)
boys tears by @arcticguk f a (fuck boy au college au frenemies to lovers frat boy au)
pretty savage by @jimidol s (CEO JK CEO Tae assistant oc) ft. Taehyung
re: untitled by @to-star-lake a (ceo jk arranged marriage au)
soft skin by @namjoonchronicles f (date night domestic au)
new rules by @tayegi s a (fratboy jk)
now to forever by @aiimaginesbts f a (exes au)
Wherever there is you by @jeonstudios f a (marriage au)
glimpse by @sushivrs a (exes au idol au)
worth the wait by @sketchguk f s a (strangers to lovers au college au)
backstage quickies by @btsqualityy s (idol au)
you've got mail by @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong f a (exes to lovers au)
just friends by @kinktae s a (best friends au)
May 31 by @jeonjeonggukenergy f s (roommate au)
photographs by @honeyedhoseok f a
night apple is poison apple by @helvonasche f s a (childhood best friend au)
leave your name by @craztextae s (90's throwback au)
the wedding date by @jjungkookislife f s a (fake dating au)
come again and again by @jjungkookislife s (established relationship au)
waste it on me by @sunshinejunghoseokie f a (enemies to lovers au rock band au)
Lucky one by @sparklingchim s (established relationship au)
Laundry love by @hisunshiine s (neighbour au)
awkwardly in love by @strawberrynamjoon f (friends to lovers au)
amateur dance by @eternally-writing f s (boyfriend au)
Can't be without you by @ahundredtimesover f s a (best friends au underground fighter jk)
caught in a web by @gukptune f s (spiderman au)
tangled thoughts by @mimikookie a (spiderman au exes to lovers au)
And if I did? by @mimikookie f s (spiderman au established relationship au)
To have known you by @mimikookie f (spiderman au established relationship au)
Patch me up by @adoringjjk f a (spiderman au reporter reader)
catch me by @taetortotss (spiderman au)
Arachne-boy by @kinktae (spiderman au friends to lovers au)
Tangled web by @ughseoks f a (spiderman au soulmate au)
call me jungkook by @ughseoks f a (spiderman au)
all webbed up by @ughseoks s (spiderman au boyfriend au)
I love so I let go by @yukheii (spiderman au friends to lovers au)
webslinger by @lemon-boy-stan a (spiderman au boyfriend au)
↬remember I mentioned that spidey jungkook phase I went through :) ... honestly I'm still going through it so if you know of any marvel au's with the members or jungkook spiderman au's please share them I would love to read it ♡
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breakiebunny · a month ago
Espresso Shots and Boob Talks| JJK
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One Shot 
Summary: your sweet boyfriend doesn't care about your boob size and he's ready to prove it to you that your lame whining will not stop him from fucking you dumb.
genre: Angst, smut, fluff,college student Jungkook and Oc.
warnings: boob insecurities, titty lover jk,light bondage, breast worship, sucking, biting, hickeys, fingering, Soft Dom jk, oc is a cry baby,smut, Boob kink, size kink, daddy kink, light dumbification, cowgirl, pet names.
words: 6.9K
A.N : ALL BOOBIE LOVE IN DIS HOUSE!!! based on this request.
The first time you met Jungkook, it wasn’t an ideal way to meet for the first time really. You just spent the past two hours listening to your philosophy professor after pulling an all nighter for your mid terms and you felt like fighting God or die trying, ready to rip your hair out and start crying at the slight inconvenience that will dare to cross your path. You check your phone to see how much time is left for the next class, so that you can eat lunch and maybe take a nap if you are lucky, two hours, well it is something. You huff and just as you were going to put your phone back in your pocket, something hard and heavy bumped into your side sending the phone flying away from your hand, it was a tall and big boy who didn’t even bother stopping and kept running.
“Hey!” you were drained of every last drop of energy, voice shaky as tears roll down your eyes. Your phone was cracked and your arm was stinging from the impact. The boy stopped, looked back for a second, you could see the inner conflict in his eyes as you cry; really needed a reason to let it all out and that asshole provided the perfect reason. He adjusts his bag on his shoulder and runs away, leaving you with an empty tank of the will to live and a cracked phone.
“FUCK YOU!” you scream like a mad woman and pick your phone, eight shots of espresso it is.
“You`ll die at this point” Jimin, your friend who works in the campus coffee shop tells you, a little worried.
“Honestly, I don’t care anymore Jimin, I don’t know what I`ll do about mid terms and some asshole broke my phone today, so death? not scared of her.” You grab your deathly espresso concoction.
“Chill a little, I`m worried for you, I`m coming tonight with take out and I`ll make you eat in front of me.” Jimin pushes two brownies towards you. “On me, eat up you look dead.” He grins and you roll your eyes.
“Thank you Jiminie” you smile at his concern and take the brownies and head out, there was a small lawn in front of the coffee shop and you always study there before your immediate classes. You sit on the bench and open your laptop, taking a sip of your “Coffee” that was more of a death juice, you almost throw up but it`s not about the taste right now, you need to get through today`s classes and this is your only friend right now. You eat the brownie and get your work done in silence typing away on the keyboard, completing your due essay, you sigh in contentment and lean back in the bench, bringing the straw to your mouth.
“Ah, even this feels like a cocktail right now” you hum, eyes still closed.
“I`m sure you can die from this much espresso” you hear a deep but hesitant voice and your eyes shoot open.
“You!” you point at him like he was not standing in front of you, the same boy who bumped into you.
“Hey?” he runs his hand nervously on his backpack strap.
“Don’t hey me, I can`t even see the time on my phone because of the cracks, and you ran off without even saying sorry like a normal human being.” You cross your arms on your chest.
“About that” he scratches the back of his neck. “I`m really sorry, I really am, but I had a presentation in like ten minutes and if I had stopped to say sorry and I would’ve failed my class.” The boy switches his eyes from your face and to the ground.
“You cried, I saw you, I`m sorry” he says again, his cheeks pink. “I`ll pay for your phone repair, you don’t have to worry about that and I`ll buy a milkshake, you could use some after what you`ve just been drinking.” He adds quickly, gesturing to the empty coffee cup.
“What can I say, its been a rough week.” You shrug. “And don’t worry about the phone, I can still use it, don’t worry, I was just pissed because you didn’t acknowledge what you did, now you did and I understand presentations are important so no worries” you smile a little, putting your laptop in your bag.
“Please, I feel so bad, let me at least buy you a coffee?” the boy looks embarrassed, his eyes were so big, eyelashes so long all the girls must be jealous of him.
“There`s no need but hey free coffee, we don’t turn away. I always come to this coffee shop and if we run into each other again, you can buy me a coffee okay? don’t think too much about it, it`s fine, it happens.” You wave your hand hoping he would understand that a cracked phone although it broke your heart with it was not something you were worried about these days and you didn’t plan on making the poor guy suffer because of it, he seemed like a cool dude.
“Deal” he grins and you are blinded by the brightness of his smile, eyes scrunched along with his nose. A cutie, you find yourself blushing at the revelation.
“I`m Jungkook, by the way.” He steps forward with his hand extended as if he is sure now you would not attack him.
“Y/N” you smile shaking his hand, a huge but soft grasp.
And that`s how you met Jeon Jungkook, after numerous all nighters, this boy managed to brighten up your entire day, replaced your straight espresso shots with a strawberry milkshake, fed you and very quickly he became a part of your day, your life and now you have been dating him for three months. It was your first real relationship, well at least in college because you thought having a relationship in college would have a toll on your studies but you were so wrong, Jungkook only made your life easier, he was the sweetest most caring person ever, hell he even helped you study, took his time to understand a topic just so that he can teach you and in return.
“I get to kiss you whenever I want, that`s all I need, deal?” he puckers his lips, apparently his way of sealing a deal was with a kiss now and you hope this special seal is just for you.
“Easy, I love it when you kiss me” your lips meet his puckered ones and he hums, pulling you into him. That`s all he ever wanted attention, kisses and food. It had been three months and Jungkook never initiated something more than a kiss, you were trying not to be insecure, telling yourself that maybe he`s busy, tired from his football practice or studies but even when you two were alone on weekends when he had just woken from a good nap, the guy avoided pussy like a ten year old avoids calls on their mother`s phone when they are playing games on it or maybe it`s just you, you don’t consider yourself ugly, no you were pretty okay you think? There wasn’t a line of guys dying to get you but you`ve had your fair share and Jungkook, that boy was every girl`s wet dream even your friends jokingly said how you managed to bag him as your boyfriend and honestly now that you see him daily, how you got such a dream of a boyfriend was beyond you but noticing his lack of interest in doing anything physical with you was making you insecure about yourself and honestly this relationship, if he found you attractive, he would take any opportunity to jump your bones, right? But he didn’t, he just keeps kissing your nose, lips, eyes and even ears. “Cutie” he would coo every time you whine, rubbing your ears because of the tingly feeling of his feathery lips.
It was a Saturday night, you two were lying down in your dorm, your room mate was out for the night so there went that excuse. Jungkook was lying back against the wall legs stretched out, your head placed on his lap as you two watched some random shit movie.
“Hah, he`s just trying to get in her pants” you mumble against his thigh as the bad boy in the movie starts being extra nice to the main character, Jungkook doesn’t answer.
“Are you asleep?” you turn your head to see him focused on the movie.
“No baby but you look really sleepy” he breaks a smile when he looks at you.
“Your thighs are comfy, might hire you as my life size-alive pillow” you snuggle closer to him and he laughs, his hand landing on the curve of your ass and suddenly you are not sleepy at all, all your senses are heightened and his heavy hand almost on your ass was making you dizzy and when he started rubbing your hip over the thin material of your shorts, you felt the wetness pool between your legs, you wanted him and that was as clear as the day. You could tell he wasn’t doing it intentionally because he was super immersed in the stupid movie, other hand playing with your hair, fine if he is not going to make a move, I will. You think. You move fully turning on his lap, his hand falls from your hip and you already regret your move, it felt so good there but you wanted more, that`s for sure. You sneak your hand to his nape pulling him down to your level taking his lips with yours, his hand stills in your hair, thumb caressing your cheek as you push him further into you by his nape to deepen the kiss, you whimper when his tongue licks into your mouth, he breaks the kiss at the sound, eyes blown out and dark, lips shiny and you wonder if you look half as good as him right now or just crazy, your chest heaves up and down with each breath, you hope he takes the hint and fucks your brains out till the sunrise or at least till you cry, you`re not picky, but he doesn’t do anything just looks at you and your lips. You take the initiative of getting fucked in your own hands again and lean towards him on your knees, lips landing on his soft now warm cheek.
“Baby, you know most guys would take the hint by now.” You chuckle, honestly amused by his obliviousness.
“What?” he breaths heavily and you smirk thank God you had some effect on this stone of a man.
“That your girlfriend wants you to fuck her senseless.” You purr, kissing along his jaw and he snaps, a hand comes to your jaw forcing your lips to his lips as he sucks on them like his life depended on it. He breaks away with a loud pop echoing in the room, the soft murmur of the movie was the only noise besides your heavy breathing. You grin, finally you will get what you wanted for two months and just as you raise your leg to straddle his lap, he stops you squirming away a little and you feel stupid, embarrassed, your heart in your throat. You clear your throat as if to push it back to its rightful place. Jungkook grabs his phone from your side table.
“I…I need to get back, Jin…he um he wanted my car.” He stumbles on his feet quickly as if wanting to get away from you and you thank the room is not that bright cause you definitely will cry if he looks at you with his big doe eyes because you have never been so embarrassed in your entire life, this was straight up rejection his phone didn’t even buzz and he told you earlier he would spend the night.
“Uh y-yeah, sure, this movie is bad anyways and I`m gonna sleep” you ramble, not looking directly at him, instead focus behind him.
“Y-yeah, see you later, good night” he mumbles, looking a little sad and you want to punch him, you should look like a kicked puppy not him.
“Good night.” You squeak, about to get up to see him out the door.
“No, no its fine, you should rest, I`ll just go.” He rushes you with a wave of his hand, the other busy putting on his shoe. Wow, another jab to your heart.
“Okay” you whisper, not trusting your voice at this point. He was already tired of you and tonight proves it. He leaves with a quick bye and get some sleep but sleep is the last thing you get that night.
Jungkook avoided you after that night for three days, texting you here and there telling you he`s busy with practice and assignments and that added more fuel to the fire of insecurity his behavior towards you ignited, but here you were with him at a party you had no plans on going to but Jin had personally invited you last week and reminded you the day before, so you had to go cause Jin is not the one who lets people forget things easily and you were on his good side and planned on keeping it that way. Jungkook had his arm draped over your shoulder, pulling you into his side on the couch as you two laughed at something Jin said.
“Hey Jungkook, if bro code doesn’t apply on hook ups for you, can I tap that?” Jin gestures behind you, still laughing. You turn around, your eyes landing on the most beautiful woman you`ve ever seen in your life, she was tall, skinny and just perfect, if you had one gay bone in your body you were sure you would want to tap that too honestly. Her skin was smooth, lips plump, eyes big and bright, make up done like a pro a natural look that didn’t hide her gorgeous features, she had plump breasts, small waist and thick ass, just perfect body proportions overall. Jungkook hooked up with this goddess? A wave of jealousy more like insecurity flashes through your eyes.
“Go crazy hyung” Jungkook replies not even bothering to look back, you were still looking at her, she notices Jungkook, her eyes swimming to yours, she smirks and cat walks upstairs, her hips swaying with each step, you gulp, feeling sick all of a sudden, oh so that`s why he doesn’t touch me, he`s not used to someone like me, look at her. Your mind makes up these thoughts that make your throat constrict.
“Baby doll, are you okay?” Jungkook`s honey voice says close to your ear and you flinch, any other day you would swoon and kiss him silly at the pet name he just gave you but right now you were struggling to hold in your tears and breath at the same time. You were never a multi tasker.
“Y-yeah, I`m fine.” You don’t look him in the eyes and he frowns. You looked so cute when you laughed it made his heart smile whenever you laughed like there`s no one around, a snort leaving you each time it gets uncontrollable.
“Excuse me, I need to use the washroom.” You tell Jungkook.
“Okay baby, tell me if you need anything” He kisses your cheek, hand squeezing your shoulder. You get up quickly; adjusting your dress you run upstairs, a little crying in the bathroom is always a good idea to feel better. Just when you were about to open the door you hear someone.
“Oh my God, Lia did you see Jeon Jungkook?” you peep through the tiny slit, the same hot goddess from downstairs was fixing the lipstick on her plump lips.
“Yeah, don’t care” Lia scoffs as he she packs on the lip gloss on her lips, smacking them together.
“Yeah, I mean that girl next to him, really dude, her ?” the other girl laughs. “He said no to you only to date that flat chested teenager” your heart sinks to your stomach, you never thought about it that way, you never thought that the size of your boobs would matter in your life, you liked Jungkook because he was just Jungkook, so kind, authentic and funny and you thought Jungkook liked you because of you but it seems like you were wrong, you felt dumb and unwanted and the center of the joke all of a sudden, it means everyone who ever saw you with him thought the same. What is this hot hunk of a man doing with someone like her boohoo?
“I heard the guy had like a boob fetish or something, all his exes and hook ups have like jumbo jugs going on” the girl laughs and Lia joins in too.
“It’s true, he was obsessed with my boobs, I was scared at one point, not gonna lie but it was kinda hot though.” Lia says all dreamy and you`re sure she`s having flashbacks.
You feel tears blinding your eyes; air knocked out of your lungs like someone just kicked you in the gut. You felt betrayed and led on, why did he not say anything? Does he really think you are a teenager who cannot handle a quick “Hey I don’t think this is working, we should break up”.
“Hey , don’t say that I`m sure she`s in college” Lia`s sweet voice breaks you out of your internal monologue, you blink a few times, hot tears running down your cheeks now, you were always an emotional mess and that was one of the many reasons you tried to stay away from serious relationships but you could’ve bet your life Jungkook felt so different, being with him felt so easy like you are taking a nap on the comfiest couch, he felt like home but of course you were wrong, the guy probably knows your emotional tendencies by now and is too nice to break up with you. The thought that Jungkook was just being nice to you to avoid drama stabbed your heart so deep that you were feeling the pain physically, your chest feeling tight.
“But hey, those boobs are ironed” Lia adds, bouncing her big ones in her slender hands. You stumble back, wiping your tears unable to hear more. You take out your phone from the small sling bag you had for tonight.
“Hey, not feeling well, going home, don’t worry.” You send the text to Jungkook.
You go to your room, slipping off your dress not bothering to wear anything or take your make up off. You cry your eyes out, voice muffled against the pillow. Jungkook kept calling you and texting you through the night but you didn’t pick up or answered his texts. What would you say? You were embarrassed and you felt like an idiot for throwing yourself on him every chance you got, he was probably traumatized and disgusted. If he was nice enough to not say anything and break up, you were not so nice; you decide to end things when you see him next.
Jungkook barges inside your dorm room, you flinch still cuddled in bed.
“Mina, did you need anything else? You know where my stuff is” you croak, getting up, your eyes puffy and red, hair all tangled up, dressed in just a hoodie, you sniffle when your eyes land on Jungkook instead of Mina.
“Y/N, what happened?” he runs over to you eying three cups of God knows how many straight espresso shots and various beer bottles. You drank all that in one night and a morning, he couldn’t believe it, he also couldn’t understand why you look so distraught that the tears are still sticking to your pretty eyelashes. You fall back on the bed, turning away from him not wanting him to see you weep the fresh round of tears that were ready to spill out of your eyes.
“Just not good” you try to sound stable but fail miserably.
“Are you on your period baby? Want me to rub your tummy or anything else?” Jungkook sounds so worried and soft it makes your heart clench but when his hand lands on your back you can`t help but snap.
“I`m fine, leave me alone God!” you move further on the bed so that his hand is no longer touching you.
“Y/N, did something happen at the party? You can tell me you know that right” Jungkook says softly, hoping he would coax you out of your cocoon with his silky voice. You don’t answer.
“It`s nothing Jungkook, just me being annoying again, so you can leave I know you`re busy” you tell him, voice nothing like his, yours was bitter and angry, angry at yourself for being someone he didn't want.
“Hey sweetie, you`re not annoying and I`m never busy for my girl, not when something is eating at her beautiful heart.” He places a soft kiss to your temple.
“Come on, tell me, I will listen” he rubs your shoulder and you let him, hungry for his touch.
“Why are you with me Jungkook?” you say before sitting up facing him on the bed.
“What do you mean? Because I like you so so much, I love spending time with you and oh yeah I`m literally obsessed with you.” Jungkook rolls his eyes like you just asked him the stupidest question in the world.
“No you are not, you are just nice enough to not break my heart because you know that I`m obsessed with you.” Your voice shakes, tears flowing down your cheeks like a stream.
“Baby, what happened? You`re still not telling me and stop crying it`s breaking my heart” he holds both of your hands, pushing the hair back from your face.
“Jungkook, you don’t wanna have sex with me and I know why” you surprise yourself with your forwardness but maybe it`s the mixture of espresso and beer talking in your tummy.
“And what did you find out? What`s the reason?” Jungkook scoffs, rubbing your knuckles with his soft warm fingers.
“B-because I have small boobs.” You blurt out and Jungkook laughs, a squeaky high pitched laugh that makes him fall back on the bed with its intensity and you replay what you had said in your head, it sounded so serious to you so what happened to him? Maybe he was gonna say “haha dumb bitch, you just found out?”
“Baby I`m sorry but I think you should slow down with these random poisonous concoctions.” He says between his fits of laughter.
“I`m serious Jungkook, don’t laugh, I heard Lia and her friend at the party and how you are obsessed with big boobs so I`m not stupid okay? you don’t wanna sleep with me because I have small boobs.” You try not to cry.
“That`s been on your cute little mind.” Jungkook coos bringing his hand to your face to brush your tears away but you bat his hand away.
“Y/N, your boobs, big or small do not concern me. All I need is you.” Jungkook brings his hand to your face again; you let him brush your tears away.
“Yeah, if it doesn’t concern you then why do you always reject me when I try to make a move on you?” you snap, eyes red and glassy. Jungkook doesn’t respond.
“See, you don’t know, you wanna be all wise and pious and say my small tits do not bother you but they do” you get up from the bed.
“So Jungkook, if you don’t have the guts to say this, I will! Let`s break up.” you look straight in his eyes and Jungkook eyes widen, his complexion drained of any color, his bottom lip quivers.
“No” he whispers, his voice not coming out strong like it was twenty seconds ago.
“Y/N, I swear its nothing like that, I don’t care about all of this, not when it comes to you.” Jungkook stumbles down from your bed, caging you in his strong arms.
“Then explain, why do you always push me away?” you look up at him, determined to get your answers.
“Because I wanna treat you special, I don’t do serious relationships, you know that and I didn’t want you to think I just want to get in your pants” he looks down at his feet.
“And honestly, I was testing myself as well, I was afraid that what if sleeping with you is what I really want and not you, I can`t look at you all heartbroken, it kills me to see you cry.” Jungkook sniffles, it was your heart`s turn to break at his tiny sniffles, doe eyes glassy.
“Jungkook…” you whisper, caressing his cheek, he leans into your touch.
“But I like being with you, I just wanna be with you even if we don’t have sex, I know it made you feel unwanted and I`m sorry I just wanted to be the best for you, you deserve it.” He looks like he`s trying not let out a sob and you pull him down hugging him tightly.
“I`m sorry baby, I`m so stupid, I listened to everyone but you, I should’ve talked to you before throwing a tantrum.” You really feel stupid now, this soft dream of a boy wants to treat you like a lady and all you wanted from him was to fuck you like a slut, so shallow.
“Yes you are, the dumbest girl I know.” He whispers, a smirk visible on his handsome face.
“Hey! A girl gets insecure okay, have you seen yourself and my boobs ARE not the biggest.” You hit his chest, a giggle erupting from your throat.
“You are right once again, your boobs are not big.” He says, his hands on your forearms, eyes deep into yours. You pout.
“They are perfect.” He runs his nose along your cheek, kissing both of your eyes.
“These pretty eyes are so red, stupid girl worn them out for no reason.” He purrs against your lips, yours part in anticipation. He goes straight in with the tongue, growling when you do the same, teeth clashing as you two try to swallow each other whole, your hands scrunched in the front of his tee shirt, his tangles in your already messed up hair, pulling you closer if that was even possible. The air running short.
“Mmh” he chases your lips when you break away, panting like you`ve been running on a hot day.
“Espresso shots will not kill me, this will.” You tease and he smirks, hands still in your hair he pulls you close, taking your bottom lip between his teeth, you whine as he sucks on it.
“Really? Too bad cause I was gonna fuck your brains out, just like you asked the other day.” He whispers biting on your chin.
“I`m fine! Perfectly fine and fit for it.” You jump away from him doing a jumping jack, he stifles a laugh.
“I`m not so sure Y/N, it`ll be a lot intense then kissing.” He teases, pinching the bridge of his nose pretending to think this through.
“Is that a promise?” you hug his waist, resting your chin on his chest grinning up at him.
“A fact” he kisses the tip of your nose and you feel you face heat up at his confidence, you know your panties are ruined already, only from kissing him.
“Let me fact check then.” You manage to say that while looking into his dark orbs, pupils blown out, lips red and swollen.
Jungkook pushes you back a little, his hands going for the hem of your hoodie, lifting it up revealing the smooth skin of your stomach, eyes locked on yours, you stand your ground even though you can feel your heart beating in your ears. You sigh when he throws the hoodie somewhere in the room, his eyes taking in your body only clad in a pink cotton bra and black cotton panties, you mentally face palm yourself, you couldn’t even wear a matching set, wow.
“So beautiful” Jungkook sighs dreamily, eyes locked on your body, he extends his hand towards you, looking at you for your permission and you nod a little too fast making him chuckle. His hand looks too big on your breast as he squeezes and kneads them in his hands. You forget how to breathe. He goes behind you, undoing the hooks of your bra, pushing it down your arms. The cold air hits your nipples and they get hard.
“Perfect for my hands.” You whine when he cups your breasts in his hand from behind, head resting on your shoulder, pressing kisses here and there. you look down at his hands and almost moan, his tattooed hands covered your boobs completely, occasionally squeezing them, rolling his hands on them. The sight erotic.
“J-jungkook more.” You whine, his teasing was killing you.
“Oh you will get more princess, so much more” he picks the bra from the ground and you were so lost in the moment wondering what else he has planned for you that you don’t notice him tying your hands behind your back with your bra. The bind tight enough to keep your hands behind you.
“What is this about now?” you ask, voice whiny.
“Dumb girl, do you trust me?” he pecks your lips.
“Not dumb” it comes out as a whine when he envelops your nipple in his mouth, sucking it slowly, squeezing the other in his hand. Your hands behind your back quiver, his hair looking soft you wanna tangle your fingers through them and push him further into your breasts but you can`t.
“Are you okay with it sweet baby?” Jungkook whispers against the soft flesh of your boobs.
“Yes, anything you want, I…I`m okay.” you breath, ready to cry if he doesn’t fuck you in the next thirty seconds.
Jungkook smiles his bunny smile as he stands up leading you to the bed, pushing you back when you sit on it, hands tied to your back, a little uncomfortable but like you said anything for him. This position pushed your breasts further up for him to devour like a full course meal, served in front of him, ready for him to dig in. You lift your neck up to see what he was doing and to say straining your neck for the sight in front of you was worth it was an understatement.
He already got rid of his white tee shirt, revealing his smooth skin and eight pack abs, your mouth waters so much that you gulp back the saliva. You wanna lick his body; he doesn’t even have to do anything. You moan out loud when you see him pull his boxers down, his semi hard Cock springing free, tip flushed already, a vein running around the underside of it, you drool literally and your hands are behind so you wipe your face on the side of the bed, Jungkook smirks when he looks at you.
“Enjoying the show Pretty baby?” He says looking at you like you`re the reason sun rises every morning.
“Me pretty? Have you seen yourself?” you say in a trance and he giggles, a sound so sweet you want kiss him silly. You watch him straddle your hips, lowering his head into your neck, kissing, nipping, licking at the warm skin, his lips were so soft they couldn’t hurt you even if they tried but when he bit on your collarbone you moan, enjoying the sting a little too much. He kisses down to your boobs, sucking and biting them.
“Ahhh Jungkook yes” your head lolls back in pleasure, the hot suction of his mouth feeling heavenly.
“Pretty tits on the prettiest girl” he coos and you melt. “nghfhh!!” he bites on the nipple, the sensitive bud sending shocks of pleasure into your entire body when provoked. He bites down on it harder making you scream, his free hand reaching down for your underwear, pushing it to the side, he runs his slender finger along your folds and hums against your nipple when he feels how wet you are.
“So wet, for me baby?” he asks pecking your lips, you chase his lips but he goes back to your boobs again, you should’ve never said anything about your boobs, this man is determined to prove to you that your boobs are perfect.
“Y-yes who else…stupid.” You manage to say and he bites down on your nipple again.
“Fuck” you cry.
“A dumb girl calling me stupid, what has the world come to.” He rubs your clit with two of his fingers.
“I`m not…dumb, I have straight…A`s.” you don’t back down from firing back, your arms stinging under your weight now.
“Yes you are, dumb, dumb, dumb.” He bites on the fleshy part of your breast with each “Dumb” leaving multiple marks there, his fingers sinking into your hole.
“Ohhh, ahh” your back arches, pushing your breasts into his mouth more, he catches the other nipple in his mouth sucking and biting on it too, while his fingers pump in your pussy. You spread your legs for him more and he goes knuckles deep, groaning when he feels your pussy sucking his fingers in.
“Oh my God, fuck!” you cry, tears streaming down your cheeks for a whole different reason now, the stinging torturous pleasure he was putting your boobs through was too much matched with his fingers inside you, hooking and scissoring inside your hole making you scream every time.
“No more please” you chest heaves, covered in his bite marks and hickeys.
“Want you please, please” you cry, eyes blinking at him, hoping he would give in. He does.
“Okay baby, but first you gotta come on my fingers, can you be my good girl and do that for me?” he coos against your cheek as he pumps his fingers in you faster making you mewl.
“Y-yes d-daddy” you find yourself saying, breath hitching, what if he finds it weird?
“Oh fuck, say it again, please precious.” He moans against your lips, sucking them against his, swallowing your tiny sounds.
“Daddy please, wanna come, wanna be y-your g-good girl, please.” You mewl against his lips and his thumb starts rubbing your clit.
“Do it gorgeous, do it for me, be a good girl and come on daddy`s fingers.” He kisses along your shoulders and sobs leave you lips as you inch towards your orgasm. The band in your stomach suddenly snaps and you lean down to kiss Jungkook`s eyebrow hard, the angle only allowed his eyebrow to be in your reach. He sits up and you whine.
“No more please.” You look down at your breasts, littered with bites and bruises, you loved them but you wanted him inside before you cry. Crying for dick? This motherfucker will never let you forget that.
“Okay beautiful, just gonna untie your hands now” he makes you sit up, untangling the bra tied around your hands, the soft cotton material wasn’t hard on the skin of your wrists but he still spends his time smooching your wrists, an act so sweet you want to eat him whole. He rubs your arms soothingly, the ache in them disappearing.
“Was it too much?” he asks, hands still rubbing up and down on your arms.
“No, I`m good, loved it so much.” You offer him a smile and he grins.
“So, is this gonna turn all soft after you almost ate my boobs, look at them they look like they were attacked by a wild bear.” You show him your boobs and he pouts.
“I was being nice to you, you meanie” his bottom lip is jutted out, eyes round, making your heart jump at the cuteness.
“And they`ll look like this every time you`ll try to degrade them.” He squeezes your left boob and you jump.
“These are mine sir, hands to yourself please” you hide your boobs with both of your hands.
“Ours.” He says as he lays down on the bed, adjusting his head on the pillows. You look at him confused.
“Come on, get on top” he says as he pumps his cock, your bones vibrating with excitement of what`s to come as you straddle him, trembling hands holding his cock and he hisses when you pump him slowly, using his pre cum as a lube, it gets harder and longer with each pump and you can`t wait any longer, pushing the tip inside you. “I`m on a pill.” You announce even though he didn’t ask, he forgot, to be honest, so deep in the thoughts of having you wrapped around him.
“Fuck” you moan, throwing your head back.
“Perfect girl, you`re doing so good.” Jungkook breathes, his hands massaging your hips. The praise going straight to your core and you want to hear more of it, pushing more of him inside you.
"so fucking tight ah fuck!" He growls.
“OH GOD! So big.” You wail.
“So tiny.” Jungkook muses pushing your black panties to the side, looking down at your pussy fluttering against his big cock, struggling to take him in. You pull yourself off of him and sit down quickly, skin slapping against his, thick girthy cock filling you to the brim. It was not the smartest idea but it was so worth it.
“Oh fuck, oh yes!” Jungkook praises when your mouth opens in a silent scream.
“S-so full” you muse, hands pressed against his chest.
“Yeah? You like it baby?” his hands reach for your boobs, kneading them in his hands, you put your hands on top of his squeezing a little.
“I love it, so so much” you don’t even know what you`re saying, you felt drunk, drunk on your boyfriend`s scent, his pretty face and his big cock inside you, splitting you open, your puffy pussy lips wrapped around him tightly. You move your hips a little after your pussy adjusts to the breach, moving up and down on his dick, hands still holding his on your boobs.
“AH! Hmmmm” you mewl on top of him, head thrown back, Jungkook looks at you like you`re a piece of art so precious, so divine, he wanted to capture this moment, the moment when you look so vulnerable so heavenly he could cry. Your hands go back on his chest, supporting yourself on them as you bounce on his cock, creating a rhythm that has your pussy quivering with pleasure.
“You wanted this beautiful?” Jungkook asks as he thrusts up into you making you shriek as you nod.
“Words” one hand is on your boob, the other holding your hip as he thrusts up into you again, harder.
“Y-yes yes, wanted this for so long” you wail, tears rolling your cheeks, the pleasure so overwhelming you don’t know what else to do.
“Dumb girl, w-wanted to break up with me because I don’t fuck her?” he matches your thrusts with his from the bottom making you bounce on his cock, your hands on his chest keeping you on him after each impact.
“T-thought y-ou didn’t like me.” You whimper, his thrusts wild as his bites were.
“That`s w-why your A`s don’t matter pretty girl, dumb pretty girl.” His voice shakes a little as he thrusts into you like you`re his sex doll and he controls your movements, the buttons being your boobs and your hips.
"I follow you around like a lost p-uppy and y-ou think I don't l-ike you? Dumb slut" he groans.q
“Daddy, fuck!” you cry, not having much of choice now.
“I will f-fuck you twenty times a d-day if that`s what you want daddy`s pretty little slut, do you think your tiny pussy can take it?” you are full on crying now, mewling and sobbing as he thrusts into you.
“I will! Fuck I will, anything d-daddy gives me, I`ll…ahh…take it” you`re almost lifeless at this point.
“Are you close baby girl? I can feel you clenching around my cock oh fuck, do it again.” Jungkook moans, his head thrown back, his thick delicious neck on display, veins prodding in the creamy skin, you lean forward to kiss along his throat, sucking on his pulse, teeth nipping at the skin creating a mark, it looked so normal compared to the ones he left on you but you will get back on him someday that`s for sure, he moans and you clench around him at the guttural sound.
“Oh, hahh!” he moans as you move your hips again meeting his wild thrusts in half.
“Jungkook baby, I`m gonna come.” You take his lips with yours, the kiss rather sweet than the animalistic strokes.
“C-come for me honey” he whispers against your lips. You are so turned on by his whines and cries that you don’t even need clitoral stimulation for your second orgasm, eyes rolling back when your orgasm crashes down on you, your legs shaking, trying to close but you are straddling Jungkook`s lap, his tiny waist working perfectly as an obstacle as he thrusts up into you, his own release knocking on the door, you kiss along his shoulders, sucking a few marks around his collarbones as he shoots up his hot arousal in you making you whimper at the new feeling.
“Wow” he sighs, you wince when you push yourself off of him, bed sheets already ruined so you don’t mind when his arousal mixed with yours drip down your thighs.
“It was perfect.” You whisper, eyes closed, a smile on your features.
“Sleep, I`ll clean you up.” You feel Jungkook kissing your forehead.
“I have a quiz tomorrow, might need eight espresso shots in the morning, I`m beat and it`s all your fault, don’t come at me.” You mumble, cheek pressed against the pillow.
1K notes · View notes
balenciaguks · 2 months ago
ROCKSTAR 101 | jjk (m)
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➵ pairing: jjk x f!reader
➵ word count: 8.2k
➵ theme: pwp, established relationship, smut , just pure unadulterated filth
➵ rating: 18+ explicit for mature audiences only
➵ summary: In the words of Christina Aguilera, “there’s nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm” and Jungkook is certainly coated in it.
➵ warnings : JUNGKOOK HAS A FULL SLEEVE - think sowoozoo jungkook in the black sleeve ripped fit • mentions of koo shredding on an electric guitar - im hornee for it • hard dom!jungkook • sub!reader • bratty reader with bratty behaviour • koo is a lil mean bcs he gives no attention • jords’ awful attempt at brat taming • very slight switch jungkook if u squint real hard like put ur reading glasses on and squint • use of derogatory terms - for example slut • jungkook in a pair of bunny ears sksks • sex in the form of - pussy slapping • mouth stuffing • choking • panty sniffing • unprotected sex but oc is on the pill (wrap it b4 u tap it) • oral (m receiving) • face fucking • size kink • belly bulging • bdsm themes - for example use of PINK HEART SHAPED HANDCUFFS  and mention of oc having a safe word • spanking with a leather belt • doggy style • saliva - the return of jords’ spitting kink so expect a few of that • messy sex • messy kissing • missionary bcs koo has pretty eyes n im a sucker for all the eye contact • non-penetrative grinding • failed attempt at edging • multiple orgasms bcs jungkook has staMINA • throatpie (hehe) followed by cum dribbling and multiple creampies
➵ aksglfjah this is the longest one i have ever written n im so happy with how it came out. a big thank you to my baby @kithtaehyung​ for betaing this for me at the last minute. sowoozoo koo really fucked me over , ive been residing there with that tattooed demon since
➵ song rec : rockstar101
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Jungkook was currently sitting on the floor of the lavish hotel suite, one of his many custom-made guitars in hand; a Fender Stratocaster Electric Guitar, to be precise, as he practiced some advanced shredding on the electric instrument.
The guitar had been a gift from you, bright baby blue on the body and black all the way down the neck. The impressive instrument was decorated with black peony flowers with your initials intricately placed inside the bed of flowers in Jungkook’s own handwriting, “because you will always be with me, even when you aren’t,” as he told you when he revealed it to you.
It was hard to not stare at him in moments like this. The way the guitar sits firmly gripped in his lap allows his biceps to protrude right in front of your eyes. His freshly cut hair hangs lazily over one side over his face whilst the other is sitting neatly gelled to the side, showing off his freshly pierced eyebrow piercing. But his hands working up and down over the fretboard are what really grab your attention. His fingers decorated in expensive silver and black rings and an abundance of bracelets adorn his wrists creating a soft tinkling sound as he continues pressing down and strumming away.
Looking up, Jungkook catches your eyes for the briefest of moments before offering you a smug smirk. He’s stupidly hot, and what’s worse is he knows it.
Accentuated by soft candlelight, your complexion illuminates ethereally like a halo around the most beautiful angel Jungkook had ever laid eyes on.
But angels are forbidden to be in love with the Devil.
Leaving your place on the couch, you crawl your way on all fours over to Jungkook and sit yourself on both knees behind him. Trying to get his attention, you place your arm around his neck and rest your hands underneath the hem of his shirt on his chest, giving wet kisses along his shoulders and up his neck.
“___, what are you doing?” Jungkook murmurs under his breath, not in the least bit interested. “Can’t you see that I’m a little busy?”
“Mm, but Koo - I want you,” you whine, your nails digging slightly into his flesh.
“Not now baby, I’m busy,” he answers you. Jungkook doesn’t bear you any attention when he responds to you either, fingers too busy plucking at the strings in front of him.
You sigh in defeat, another attempt at taking his attention failed. “You’re always so busy,” you mutter under your breath as you get up to relocate yourself back onto the bed, hoping Jungkook didn’t catch on to what you said.
Little did you realise, he heard every word but chose to ignore it for the meantime.
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Another ten minutes of sulking and huffing passes by with you still scrolling aimlessly on your phone before you see Jungkook leaning forward to set his beloved guitar in its stand. 
Jungkook gets up from his place on the floor before making his way over towards you, dark eyes drinking you in. His hands come down to the leather of his belt, unclasping the metal and pulling the material through each of the loops and discarding it to the floor at the end of the bed. 
Jungkook stands at full height and looks down at you, humming quietly in an attempt to get your attention. 
You look up, missing his gaze entirely to stare at the new piercing nestled into one of his eyebrows. The silver from the newly placed barbell glimmering in the gentle glow of the fairy lights hung around the wall.
He takes a hold of the top of his acid denim skinny jeans and pops the button open, a small sigh at the small release before slowly pulling the zipper down. With no satisfaction of your attention, Jungkook bends down to reach your eye level and places both hands over the back of the headboard resting behind your back, trapping you in between.
“My eyes are down here, angel,” Jungkook laughs with amusement, as he reaches for your cheeks with his tattooed hand, squishing them between his forefinger and thumb, allowing your mouth to part. Dressed in tight jeans and a fitted tee, he looks good but it’s the leather jacket that ties the outfit together is what made him look insatiable.
He raises one arm behind his head and removes the ripped band t-shirt in one swift motion. Jungkook knows what he’s doing. Knows how to rile you up and turn you on. It’s always the simple things that do it.
In the words of Christina Aguilera, “there's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm” and Jungkook was certainly coated in it.
With the lack of a shirt, you are able to clearly see the expanse of his upper body. You can clearly tell he has been working out at the gym a lot more often than usual as the deep lines of his abs running down his lower body are prominent in the soft light before dipping into the waistband of his boxers. Little hairs trail down his tummy deliciously. Jungkook intentionally tightens his abdominal muscles, sending you a reminder of just how fucking hot your boyfriend is. Like you need one.
But your favourite part of him? His arms. The way they are covered sporadically in tattoos, from flowers to grungy lyrics curving around his wrists and forearms, every piece of art decorating his tanned skin holding special meanings to him. Eventually all coming together as one at his elbow before the clear saran wrap was tightly hanging off his body.
Earlier, Jungkook had been out all day before the show telling you white lies about finishing touches to the new album before it’s due to be released in the next month or so, only to return to the hotel suite with saran wrap covering the entirety of the muscles. New ink etched onto his skin.
You haven’t left his side since he walked through the door. Eager eyes to find out what designs lingered under the protective layer. To touch and admire the pretty drawings littering his now full arm. Jungkook already had an ego, but this just heightened it tenfold.
Jungkook leans towards your ear, licking and sucking at the skin of your earlobe. “Gonna go for a shower, angel,” he whispers, the devilish smirk still playing on his lips as he lifts himself up and walks away from you.
You watch as he disappears out of the room, eyes trained on his defined shoulders, the muscles flexing as he runs a hand through his fluffy black hair.
Getting up from the bed, you pick up Jungkook’s discarded shirt from the floor. With some time to spare before he finishes his shower, you dig around for your black fluffy bunny ear headband, placing it on your head to move your hair from your face before undressing yourself for the night. You slip on your boyfriend’s shirt over your own frame, giggling lightly at the way it drowns you. The lingering scent of Jungkook’s cologne and fabric softener is a welcomed feeling of comfort as it pierces through your senses.
You turn to look at yourself in the mirror, smirking at the stark contrast of the cute set of ears on your head that stands out against the Metallica shirt. Twisting your body, you manage to view a peak of black lace showing at the swell of your ass. If Jungkook wants to play, you can too.
In the midst of your daydream, Jungkook appears behind you, his large warm hands wrapping around your waist, startling you briefly with his presence. You stare at him through the mirror, taking in how breathtakingly beautiful he is. 
Jungkook presses a kiss to your cheek, smiling as he lingers for a moment. You sigh and lean back into his touch, lacing your fingers with his that rested on your stomach. “You look so cute with those ears on, bunny,” he comments, nuzzling his nose into your neck, breathing in the fruity perfume that is left on your skin from the day.
You make eye contact with Jungkook through the mirror as you admire how he towers over you with his arms still wrapped around your frame like he was protecting you from the world. You smile at just how happy you are. How did you end up so lucky as to bag a man like Jungkook?
Then it came to you. Remembering how not even twenty minutes ago, your idiot boyfriend rejected your affection for attention. You remove yourself from his embrace and roll your eyes as you bend down to pick up the basket of skin care products, conveniently pressing your ass against Jungkook’s cock before you strut back over to your side of the hotel bed.
Jungkook groans in frustration at your actions before witnessing you sit on the bed with your back facing him, feigning ignorance to your ministrations. “Baby?” Jungkook tries.
“Yes, Jungkook?” you turn your head to look at him for the briefest minute, the look on his face one of disbelief; how you could just tease him like that and act as if nothing had happened.
“Don’t ‘yes, Jungkook’ me, what was that for?” Jungkook is annoyed by your behaviour.
“What was what for?” you ask demurely, keeping up the act.
“___, don’t start.”
At this, you had to turn your head to conceal the smile fighting its way to your lips. You look at him through the small compact mirror in your hands, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just busy doing my night routine,” you childishly rebuttal, putting the emphasis on the word busy knowing Jungkook will figure out exactly where this attitude is coming from. 
Following your game, Jungkook nods his head and climbs onto the bed behind you “Stop acting like a brat, baby,” he breathes into your neck before planting three small kitten licks at the junction between your neck and shoulder.
“I don’t think I’m being a brat, I’m just busy,” you hum. 
You feel the bed dip as Jungkook sits, giving himself enough space to manspread out in front of you. He looks dangerously good in his outfit. Your favourite pair of his loose black tracksuit pants that cuffed at the ankles hanging low on his hips evidently showing a lack of underwear underneath judging by the prominent outline of his cock. 
Jungkook hasn’t bothered to put another shirt on, allowing your eyes to graciously eat up his frame in front of you. Wet droplets are running down from his still wet hair and onto the taut muscles of his chest and stomach.
Jungkook takes hold of your ankles and places them over his thighs, running his hand up and down creating a trail of goose bumps building a home on your legs.
“You look really cute like this, you know.” Jungkook smiles at you whilst pointing at the bunny ear headband on the crown of your head, trying to change the conversation. 
An idea in your head has your mind racing. You settle yourself in your boyfriend's lap, legs either side of his tiny waist, careful to sit directly above his cock, not giving in to him by giving him what he’s been looking for. You stifle a small laugh at your egotistical boyfriend before taking the headband off your head and placing it on his own. “There,” you giggle.
You lean back ever so slightly, taking in the full look of Jungkook. His shoulders are broad and define the deep crevices of his clavicles wonderfully. The saran wrap is now long forgotten from his arm, giving you your first full look at the new full sleeve showing off scattered drawings, shaded shapes, words and numerals on his skin all etched and linked together so beautifully. His artist had truly outdone themselves this time around. Even with a pair of fluffy animal ears on his head, nothing will make him look ridiculous.
You rubbed his arm and pouted, “Koo.”
You nuzzle your head into the side of his neck, biting softly into his skin, his arms on your hips tightening, signifying you had hit his sweet spot. You continue to suckle on his honey skin, littering it with pieces of your own ruby stained art. “Are you in the mood yet?” You whisper into his neck, grinding your panty covered pussy over his hardening length.
Jungkook’s eyes flutter shut, basking in the feeling of your tongue and teeth nipping and grazing at his throat. He’ll give you this one time - just to test how far you’ll go with this.
“You’ll regret this.”
You ignore him, your pace quickening up.
Jungkook sighs heavily. “___, I’m warning you.”
“Don’t want to stop."
You reach your hand down to move the fabric of your underwear to the side, the feel of Jungkook's hard heavy cock stiffening through the fabric of his sweats giving you the smallest amount of friction to your bare clit. Rutting yourself against him faster but it just isn’t enough to fully get you there.
In your state of euphoric concentration, you move your fingers over your clit and rub small circles over your sensitive nerves. Your breathy moans filled the dimly lit bedroom. “Oh fuck, fuck, oh my god, shit you look so good, Kook.”
Staring down at where you were pressing yourself on your boyfriend, you begin working your fingers on your clit, bringing the other down and inserting two fingers deep inside of you.
Jungkook’s jaw is firmly locked in place, the anger radiating off him at your blatant disobedience and bratty behaviour.
Sliding in and out, back and forth, you continue to pleasure yourself on top of your boyfriend, the sight of him laying there with your pair of stupid rabbit ear headband on his head, blending in with his newly short black hair a true fucking sight for sore eyes.
Spreading your legs further as you pumped your fingers in and out, you locked eyes with him as you whined, “I’m gonna cum, Jungko-”
Jungkook has had enough, snapping in a fit of blinding horny rage. Jungkook grips at your sides and rolls you over, planting you firmly on the bed, grabbing your wrists and pulling you up the bed, ruining your moment of bliss.
He removes himself off the bed and goes over to his packed case across the room. Sensing you moving, he turns back. "Fucking stay," he growls.
You stay put as instructed. The first one you followed all night. Eyeing Jungkook from the side, you see him raking through the clutter for something.
Jungkook turns round and makes his way back over to the bed and climbs back over you, his turn to straddle you. "Arms up, princess."
You lift your arms up over your head, deciding best to do as he asks. Jungkook, not pleased with where you place your arms, drags them up and through the bars of the headboard, allowing you to grip onto the cool metal. A contrast to your searing hot skin.
Jungkook reaches behind him and pulls out what he was going through all the effort to find.
Bright pink heart shaped handcuffs. 
You giggled loudly with amusement only resulting in pissing Jungkook off more.
“Looks like I’m going to have to teach you a lesson. Remind you how to fucking behave, hm? Put you in your place,” Jungkook snarls as he wraps the metal around each wrist and locks you to the bed. He gives a rough tug at your restrained wrists, a loud yelp tearing from your throat. Finishing with his task, he leans back to admire his work. You’re purring, a vocal acknowledgment to how much you love being restrained.
Jungkook stared down at you directly. “Safe word?”
“Red,” you answered confidently.
“Do you remember your signals?”
“Green for good, amber for slow down, red for stop,” you respond, this being second nature to you now.
“Two taps for warning, three taps for I need a minute, four taps for stop.”
He removes himself from straddling your waist and kneels at the bottom of the comforter. 
“Good girl. Now, where do we start with you,” he questions, more to himself more than anyone else. He gives a light slap to your pussy, looking for any reaction he can gather from you.
You yelp in sensitivity, your clit still hyper sensitive after being torn from the brink of your orgasm.
“Huh, well would you look at that; still noisy it seems. Let’s fix that,” Jungkook states. Not a moment later, Jungkook is tearing the lace material from your ass, the sound resonating throughout the room, before he lets the sodden panties dangle by his pointer finger, watching it swing slowly back and forth in his grasp. You watch on in shock at the action, not daring making a sound.
“Fuck, you’re wet without me even touching you,” he moans as he begins to fist your underwear tight in his grasp and brings it up to his nose, giving them a long sniff. Your heady arousal painting the material. On one hand, Jungkook can’t get enough of your scent, yet on the other, he’s irritated by how wet you get just from pissing him off. He glances down, watching you spread your legs further for him, seeing your sweet juices coat the expansion of your glistening thighs.
 “Fucking stupid slut only wants to be fucked, huh? Well, if you’re not going to listen to simple instructions and keep quiet when told, we may as well find some other use for your pretty little mouth, isn’t that right? Open.”
Doing as you’re told, you open your mouth as wide as you can, allowing Jungkook to stuff your mouth full with the ripped lace material. The taste of your heady arousal prominent on the cloth.
Leaning close to your ear, Jungkook’s hot breath fans over your skin as he whispers, “What makes you think you even deserve my cock tonight, sweetheart?” Jungkook questioned, giving each of your tits a harsh slap making you whimper out in pleasure.
Your skin feels hot at his touch as he leans down and takes a nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue and sucking on the hardened bud as he kneads the other in his veiny hands causing you to harshly buck your hips and grind into him. Satisfied, he swaps, and gives the other tit the same treatment.
“Mghgmhg,” you moan through your full mouth as his teeth graze over your nipple. Jungkook pulls away from your tits to sit back on his knees and gaze at your glistening pussy.
As Jungkook cups your warm cunt in his palm, feeling the heat radiate from your core, you gasp at the contrast between the warmth of the pads of his appendages and the coolness of the multitude of rings that decorate his long fingers as he diligently swipes two fingers from your hole to your clit and gathers as much as your slick before bringing it up to your lips.
Jungkook removes the panties from your mouth, sodden with a mixture of arousal and spit. “Clean them, filthy girl.” You do as he tells you and open your mouth, your tongue darting out and wiggling back and forth in anticipation for his fingers. He slides both fingers in and pushes them down your throat. Your lips wrap around his digits as your tongue licks and sucks the salty essence from his fingers. You gag around his fingers as he keeps them lodged in your throat.
Moans spill through your lips as you continue to suck your slick from him. Hastily removing himself from your mouth, Jungkook plunges them back into you, starting up at a rapid pace, curling deep inside you with every thrust of his digits in your sodden pussy. The squelching sounds are borderline obscene and pornographic but motivate him to continue.
“You wanna come on my hand? Come on then, I want you to fucking come,” he grits out as his eyes only darken with molten lust, stretching you further with a third finger and adding his thumb to rub circles on your sensitive clit. 
Your mouth falls open in a silent scream as your walls clench around him signalling your near release as you pull at your restraints, the pink cuffs clinking against the metal as the grooves of the cuffs bite at the skin of your wrists.
Jungkook watches you as he increases the pace of his fingers in your tight, wet pussy, spitting on your face and smearing it with his other hand across your face. 
His words echo in your head as you try to conjure up a response but with the brutal pace of his fingers inside you relentlessly fucking you closer to your own orgasm, your eyes roll back to the back of the head as you begin to see stars and not a single coherent thought comes to mind.
“Fuck yes, come on then __, going to make you come so hard.”
Your restrained hands thrash around before they find the cool metal bars and grip on for dear life as your body finally finds release and trembles at the force of your orgasm.
“Look at you, fuck you’re so hot, keep going,” Jungkook moans. He doesn’t relent and keeps up the aggressive force of his digits in and out of your pussy, forcing the cum of your climax to coat his hands right down to his wrists.
“J-Ju-kook I-,'' you whimper as your eyes fill with tears.
“You wanted to act like a big girl, so act like a big girl and come again.”
Your pussy is clenching repetitively over your boyfriend’s fingers as your clit pulses with overstimulation. You squeeze your eyes shut as you feel another oncoming orgasm.
“Shit, shit Jungkook, please,” you scream as this one hits you harder than the last. Your head turns to its side into the pillow as Jungkook removes his fingers in time to watch your climax dribble out of you with force, coating your thighs and the bedsheets below you.
“Holy shit, __,” Jungkook gasps, “That was fucking hot.” He pushes his fingers into your mouth again as he slightly instructs you to suck again. 
“Oh baby, you gonna do that with my cock? You wanna suck my cock like that?” Jungkook can’t take his eyes off you. Arousal seeping from your cunt as you stare up at his dark eyes, the silver piercing catching the light.
You nod your head, chest heaving as you breathe through your nose to take in as much air into your burning lungs but pliant as always as you wait for his next move.
Satisfied with your sucking, he pulls his digits out your mouth and holds them up above your face. His fingers are coated in your saliva as it begins to drip down to your face. Again, Jungkook brings his hand down and drags his wet fingers across your face, coating your cheeks. He squeezes your cheeks together, protruding your pout. “Mm, is that mouth ready to get filled with my cum, pretty girl?”
You nod.
Jungkook removes himself from your body after your confirmation and lightly pushes your face to the side. Standing at the foot of the bed at full height, he watches over you and the way your chest rises and falls with each breath you take, clearly affected by his actions. The sound of your heart shaped restraints rattling against the bedposts filling the room as he begins pulling his pants off and kicking them away, leaving him in his tight black boxers.
The orange of the soft lighting of the bedroom warms his skin in the most beautiful hue of golden brown - the kind of glow you would be lucky to witness at the break of dawn. Mesmerising and easily drawing you in.
Jungkook bites his lip when he takes the sight of you bound to your shared bed and legs spread open. Your sticky wetness coating your thighs like a second skin; an open invitation to your boyfriend. He brings his palm down and cups his hard cock over his boxers, palming himself roughly. The outline of his cock grows harder by every passing moment.
Jungkook releases a heavy moan from deep within his chest. His eyes flutter shut and head rolls back as his thumb rolls over the dark wet patch over the sensitive head of his confined cock. “Look at me,” he orders.
Jungkook gives you a lazy smirk as he makes his way over to the side of the bed. He leans down over you and gathers an abundance of pillows and carefully places them behind your head, allowing your neck to sit slightly raised as your wrists are still bound.
Satisfied with his work, the bed dips as Jungkook hovers above you. Leaning down, he captures your jaw in his palm and kisses you hard. He’s not gentle in his kisses, his tongue quickly swiping across your lower lip for entry. You moan at the contact, a quick gasp leaving your lips giving Jungkook enough time to slide his tongue in hungirly. The tip of your tongue traces along the surface of his, and you moan at the taste of him - peppermint and an after taste from the bourbon he indulged in earlier in the night.
The kiss is messy, a battle between tongues and teeth as you both strive to take control of the kiss. Jungkook pulls away slightly, tugging your lower lip in between his teeth and pulls gently. Another moan passing through your lips.
Once he pulls away completely, he manoeuvres himself back onto his knees, giving you the opportunity to take him in entirely. His hair starting to dampen, chest muscles and hard abs glowing with perspiration. He moves his boxers low enough for you to take in the view of his ab muscles as he flexes in front of you but not low enough for you to see anything else.
Jungkook sees the pout on your face and knows exactly why it’s there. He gives off a devilish laugh as he removes his boxers entirely this time and kicks them to the side of the room. His cock slaps against his stomach, standing proudly against his tummy falling just short under his belly button.
His cock was beautiful to say the least. Veins running up and down the underside, the prettiest pink shade contrasting with the angry red at his tip. Precum glossing over the head in all its glory.
He drags his cock over your cheeks back and forth, mixing it with the dry saliva he left there moments ago, making sure to run it over your pouty lips and coating them in his salty precum.
He shoves his cock on your mouth without any warning just allowing the tip to sit on your flushed parted lips.
“Kiss it.”
You lean forward and pepper little kisses along the tip, tasting the salty precum on your lips watching it harden impossibly more. You pay extra attention to the underside of his shaft, knowing how much of a sensitive spot that is for him as you glance up into his dark eyes and give a bratty smirk.
His cum has a bitterness to it, but the longer your mouth is wrapped around his cock, the more the bitter dissolves into a sweetness that takes over your senses.
Satisfied with your compliant behaviour, Jungkook moves closer to you and slips the tip inside your mouth. "Show me — show me how much you enjoy sucking cock," Jungkook grunts and gathers your hair into a makeshift ponytail in his hands, careful to keep the rabbit ears on and tugs you forward giving you permission to suck.
Taking his head into your mouth again, you slowly suck the tip, licking up the precum that drips out his slit. You moan loudly, signalling your appreciation to Jungkook for feeding you more of his cock. 
With no warning, Jungkook slides his cock further down your throat until your nose is firmly pressed against his pubic bone. His balls touch your chin as your saliva coats his cock thickly before Jungkook stills, momentarily stopping the airflow to your lungs.
“You’re my good little bunny, right?” he questions as he forces your head down. You look into his eyes and nod for him. “Bunnies like you do as they’re fucking told, huh?”
Your eyes allow the tears to fall as you gag loudly. The loss of oxygen makes you lightheaded in the best possible way. Jungkook withdraws himself from your mouth, a thick string of spit and precum connecting you both together, allowing you a quick breath into your burning lungs before quickly shoving himself back down the column of your throat. 
“Fuck, you look even prettier with my cock stuffed in your mouth.”
Lips slick and swollen, you moan around his thick cock; the vibrations you create make the hair on his skin rise as he nears his orgasm.
“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” Jungkook grits as he takes a fist of your hair and pushes your head back and forth forcefully of his cock. It’s Jungkook this time who moans as he repeatedly shoves himself deep inside your throat until you can’t take any more of his length. You want to be able to touch him, to feel his skin under your fingertips, to feel the hair on his skin rise, to tug his hair. 
“Fuck, oh fuck, shit,” Jungkook stills your head and relentlessly thrusts himself in and out of your tight throat like his own personal cocksleeve a few more times before finally hitting his release.
His balls tighten up, and a deep, throaty moan leaves his mouth as he stills deep in your throat. Hot, sticky ropes spurt down your throat without warning. There is a never ending stream of cum as your mouth starts to become full of both his cock and cum. 
Jungkook's hair sticks to his sweaty forehead as he looks down at your fucked out face as he pulls his length out of your mouth slowly, careful not to release the messy white substance from your mouth.
He leans back down on the bed, his arms propping up his weight. “Let me see,” he smirks.
You open your mouth at his request, a puddle of thick hot cum and saliva sitting in your mouth.
“Tongue out, baby.”
Your tongue dips out of your mouth as requested, feeling the messy mixture drip down to your chin and neck, decorating the skin in a glistening messy concoction.
“Such a filthy girl, fuck, I’m going to get hard again just looking at you like this,” Jungkook laughs. “Colour?”
You swallow the remaining mixture in your mouth. “Green,” you smile. Voice hoarse with the rough fucking your throat just received.
Jungkook looks at your bound state; your forehead is glossly with sweat and your skin flush red. Your cheeks are wet from your tears as a mixture of cum and saliva coats your chin and chest. Messy. Just the way you both like it.
“Wanna kiss, though,” you whine out.
Heat washes over you as Jungkook lowers his head and nudges his nose against yours before kissing you passionately, switching between biting and sucking on your lower lip as his hips roll slowly against your core, only separating when the need for air burns in both of your lungs. You gasp as you realise he’s still semi-hard as he grinds his bare cock over your clothed pussy.
Removing himself from you, he grabs the unlock key from the night stand and proceeds to unlock the set of cuffs, kissing each wrists with his soft pillowy lips, a juxtaposition to his rough ministrations just moments ago. 
A smile tugged your cheeks at his tender touches, a light blush dusting your cheeks following. It was one of the ways you would silently let Jungkook know you were fine, and to continue with his dominant persona.
“What do you want to do to me, right now,” you chirp up, feeling bold enough to meddle with him again.
“Wanna ruin you. You’re mine and only mine,” he recites as he silences your moans with the sloppy crash of his lips against yours, dipping his head down to kiss you in a messy, passionate kiss filled with love, lust and utter adoration for you. Jungkook growls as he tastes the remnants of himself on your tongue.
Breaking the kiss, Jungkook manoeuvres his hands underneath your thighs and pulls you down to him on the bed. He slides in between your open legs and wraps your legs around his waist. “Open your mouth like the pretty slut you are,” he smiles.
You follow his instructions and part your lips, whining when he gathers his saliva and spits in your mouth, the string of saliva hanging between the two of you as he chases it down and crashes his lips back against yours, forcing his tongue in immediately. It is fucking hot when he kisses this way. The lewd sound is filthy, a fresh stream of slick running down your folds.
Jungkook pins both your wrists above your head with one hand and leans his lower half against your cunt. You whine in protest as Jungkook teases you with his movements as he sets a languid pace of rubbing his cock against your swollen clit. “You fucking love this… So fucking wet I could slide in with no resistance. Is that what you want?” Jungkook hisses as he starts to pick up the pace.
Your breath is caught in your throat as you writhe and tremble under Jungkook, the fluid motion of his thrusts over your clit beginning to be too much. Your hands grip the pillows as your back arches at the searing hot pleasure taking over and burning into your skin. All your concentration is on Jungkook’s cock as you start to feel light headed as he brings you towards your orgasm.
“Oh god, I’m going to fucking cum,” you grit, the fire in your abdomen becoming too much.
“Hold it,” Jungkook growls, rutting harder over your pussy.
“J-jungk-kook, I-I can’t,” you cry, a fresh batch of tears finding home on your lash line.
“I. Said. Hold. It.”
Screaming, your body rejects his command as your gut tightens, the pressure in your abdomen becoming too much as you climax for the third time.
Jungkook leans back from you in silence and stares you down with fury at your disobedience.
“I told you not to come yet. Look at this filthy mess,” he barks as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“I-I’m s-sorry. J-jungkook, I’m so sorry.”
Jungkook lets out a snarl from deep within his chest, “You know what happens to disobedient sluts? They get punished.”
Your head falls to the side in shame away from Jungkook’s piercing stare as you nod in agreement. Jungkook stands at full height at the end of the bed and grasps both your ankles and tugs your body towards him and swiftly turns you over, instructing you to get on all fours, turning his own back to pick up his discarded belt from earlier.
You know the rules already. Face down, ass up. 
A hand brushes over your ass as his fingernails occasionally sink into your plush skin and pulls at your cheeks, "Wanna hear you, alright?" You moan in agreement at his words. 
Spreading your thighs apart, Jungkook's hand slips in between your thighs from behind and gently carcasses your folds, playing with your clit teasingly, captivated by the way your pussy clenches over nothing just by the small brushes of the pads of his rough fingertips. "I love you," he whispers.
The belt makes its first contact with your skin and you let your eyes flutter closed and a broken moan leaves your lips.
You heard Jungkook suck in a breath through his teeth and chuckle a little as he lets the belt crack against your ass, watching ruby red welts appear on your skin, Jungkook admires you all the more. “You know…” he starts, as he unfolds the expensive leather from his hands, taking a break and lets his hands dip back into your pussy. You groan at the slippery mess in your cunt, "You have the prettiest…" He stops again to bend down and lick a broad strip over your delicate pussy, spitting into your folds once more and watches as runs in between your folds and mixes with your juices. "...Prettiest pussy. So fucking beautiful," Jungkook goes back to teasing your clit and listening to you moan and whimper, a silent ask for more.
Jungkgood chuckles lowly at your wants, deciding not to indulge you. "Ah ah, pretty girl," he smiles, letting the belt meet your ass a few more times.
"Such a good girl for me," he snorts in amusement at how well you take your punishments. 
Your breathing is erratic as he delivers the last spank to your ass, turning your head to look at your boyfriend behind you. His honey skin glistening with sweat from above you in the soft light.
His hands are back on your meaty flesh as he tentatively soothes the red welts and leans his face down to press soft kisses into the soft flesh. "You always get so wet when I spank you. It's meant to be a punishment but I think you enjoy it too much, hm," Jungkook asks rhetorically, "I think you act like a pushy brat on purpose," you can hear the smile in his statement before he gathers a glob of saliva in his mouth and spits onto your cunt. 
"Please, w-want you," you mewl, "Fill me up." 
Jungkook growls at your words, at how you always get what you want yet still want more, how you're just so insatiable from him. Only him. He grabs the base of his shaft and covers himself in your slick, coating his cock before he begins sinking into your entrance in one fluid motion. 
"How come I fuck you all the fucking time yet every time you're always this fucking tight, bunny," Jungkook groans, voice laced in lust and arousal. Your mouth hangs open at the tight squeeze of his girthy cock inside your velvet walls, drooling into the sheets as you ball up the duvet beneath you in your fists.
"You're always so big, Koo," the nickname slips out nonchalantly as your eyes roll back in the pleasure of it all. You will never get enough of his cock as the tip presses against your cervix as he bottoms out completely. 
You give an experimental clench around his cock and hear him mewl from behind you. Jungkook pulls out from behind you until just his tip is nestled into you before sinking back into you going as deep as he possibly can. You let out a small shriek at the motion as he pulls himself back out of your quivering hole and pushes back in, in another fluid motion. 
“Oh fuck, you always take my cock so well, your tight little pussy was made to be ravished by my fat cock, isn't that right? I love getting my dick wet by such a pretty pussy,” Jungkook moans, hands finding your waist and grips tight enough to leave colourful speckled bruises on your hips before stopping his movements altogether, keeping the tip snug inside as he uses his hold on your waist to pull you down on his cock instead, fucking yourself onto him. Tears gather in your eyes and threaten to spill over the edge at the pleasured powerful movements of your hips on his cock. 
"I-I'm gonna come," you shriek, allowing the tears to fall onto your sodden cheeks. 
"Yeah? Go on then, if you want to be a slut so bad, come all over my thick cock," Jungkook snarls as he pulls you faster and harder onto him, the sounds of skin slapping filling the room increasing as he piledrives you to completion. 
Your pussy flutters in pleasure of it all as you clench over and over onto his cock, feeling your orgasm wash over you, pulling you into a euphoric state of bliss. Perspiration gathers on the skin of your neck and forehead at the force of your climax.
However, above you Jungkook doesnt relent in his actions as he plants both his hands in your hair at the nape of your neck, gathering the strands in two tight makeshift ponytails and pulls you flushed against his chest and continues to fuck you through your orgasm.
"J-jungkook, 'm s-sensitive." 
"Do you want to use your safe word?" 
You let your head fall back against his shoulder, "No,” Turning your head towards Jungkook, you seal your confirmation with a heated and messy wet kiss. 
Grunting from behind you, you hear Jungkook gather more spit in his mouth and let the liquid dribble down into your mouth. "Swallow."
And so you did with no argument.
“Fuck - fuck,” Jungkook groans out as he impales his cock as deep as he can into you, his balls tightening as he watches your meaty ass ripple with every thrust he gives you. "Come, gonna cum," he stutters. The feeling of you cinched around his cock bringing him closer to the edge.
Jungkook grunts as he gives a few more ruts of his hips, feeling your pussy full with the warmth of his seed filling you up from inside. Jungkook doesn't stop fucking himself into you, milking himself with your pussy as you mewl in pleasure at his cum being thrusted into you.
Jungkook pulls out of you and flips you onto your back. You look down between you and see that his cock is still hard. How much stamina did this man have?
Jungkook looks like sin above you with his fucked out expression painted across his face as he fists his cock in one hand, making sure to curl his thumb around his sensitive tip. "One more yeah, you can give me one more?"
Hovering over you, he paws at the head band that is centimetres from falling off your head, fixing it back into place. Jungkook leans his face close to yours and presses a sweet kiss to your lips. Bringing your hand to the nape of his neck, you tug at the roots, deepening the kiss Jungkook pulls back and catches his breath. He brushes his thumb over your lip, dragging it and letting it go with a snap. You pull him back down and push your tongue into his mouth, kissing feverishly, hard and passionately. "One more," you whisper into the kiss. 
Jungkook releases a deep groan as he sinks his cock back in with ease, moaning when his thrusts speed up into a ruthless pace. The squelching of your cum, his spit and skin slapping mixed with your harmonious moans fill the room.
"Jungkook, you feel so good, keep going," you purr. Jungkook without missing a beat, fucks you harder and faster. You wrap your hands over his back and dig your nails into his sweat drenched creamy skin. Your moans grow in volume and intensity, letting Jungkook know just how good he makes you feel.
Jungkook takes one of your legs and places it over his shoulder, the change in angle allowing him to fuck deeper into you. Looking down at your tummy, Jungkook can see the outline of his thick cock lodged inside of you. “Such a good girl,” he praises. Hand pressing down on the bulge. “You’re mine. No one else can fuck you this good You're mine. Just remember that,” he mewls, emphasising his words with forceful thrusts.
Screaming, "I'm yours, I'm yours Kook - fuck, I love you." Your eyes let more tears go at the sheer force of your boyfriend's shaft obliterating your pussy.
Jungkook brings his hand down to your throat and curls his dings around your oesophagus, squeezing lightly on the sides. 
A dry sob leaves your mouth and your eyes rolling to the back of your head, "J-Jungkook, fuck, fuck, fuck."
His hand wraps tighter around your throat, not enough to hurt but just enough to constrict the oxygen into your lungs. Feeling the coolness of his rings dig into the searing skin of your neck was a welcomed feeling. His actions matched by his powerful ruts into your cunt mixed with the sounds of sweat soaked skin slapping against each other filling the room was bringing you closer to your third climax of the night. Your pussy involuntarily contracts around his cock. "Jungkook, g-gonna, gonna c-cum."
He gives a few vigorous thrusts before he focuses his attention on rubbing figures of eight on your clit, knowing that will help to get you there faster, desperate to get off himself. "Look at your tiny fucking cunt taking my cock. Still so tight, I don't get it," he grunts out with no mercy, "Doesn't matter how often I fuck you, you're. Still. So. Tight." 
Jungkook moves your leg off his shoulder and wraps them both around his waist. He grips your hips tightly, pulls you toward him and jackhammers you onto his cock, every stroke brings you towards the precipice of euphoric bliss. The feeling of his pulsating cock plunging into your seeping core has your hips bucking wildly. His teeth find your neck and he bites you hard enough to make you yelp.
Without warning, your third orgasm washes over you causing your body to still, in a state of bliss. There isn't a single coherent word that manages to fall from your lips, only the sounds of screams, cries and garbled incoherent sounds. Your walls constrict around Jungkook's shaft as he grunts on top of you. 
"Fuck yes, that's it, look at you. So fucking beautiful," he swears and fucks into you harder, "Gonna make me cum too, baby." Jungkook impales himself a few more times, the sight of him pumping in you like this is too much. He is fucking you as if you were just a doll to use for his own pleasure yet all you can do is take his cock in this position. He bites his bottom lip as he fucks you, some of his hair falling in front of his face. He looks delicious.
Jungkook releases an animalistic snarl from deep within his chest as he buries his thick, throbbing hard cock into you as he comes — warm ropes and ropes spurt from his pulsing cock, filling you up, and that sends you over the edge once again.
You come just as violently as the last, clamping down on Jungkook's cock, milking him through his release as he groans at the feeling. You can feel yourself squirt a tiny bit as he keeps pressing into you. 
Feeling his balls emptying and filling up your pussy with his warm load puts a smile on your face. You rock against him, both of you pant and groan together as you bask in your orgasmic state together.
Laughing, Jungkook dips his head into your shoulder and presses delicate kisses up your neck, on your cheek and lastly to your lip. He looks down at your tummy and giggles at the way it bloats, filled with cum.
Jungkook pulls out of you, the feeling of his cum dribbling out your spent cunt is warm and sticky. He pulls your bunny ears off your head and pulls you down to him by the waist and drops down next to you, pressing your head to his chest. Together, the two of you lay there trying to catch your breath not realising how warm and sweaty you were from all the fucking.
"Are you — are you okay?" Jungkook giggles as he kisses the top of your head. 
You have to try to get your mind and body working again to reply. The feeling of being fucked so hard has your entire body shut down. All that leaves your mouth is strange noises. They could have been words but probably not.
Pulling the comforter over both your bare bodies, you wrap your arm around Jungkook, pulling him closer. He smiles brightly, relief evident on his face as you listen to his heart beat slow to its regular rate. "You're too good to me, Koo." 
Jungkook intertwines your fingers with his own to bring them up to his lips and kiss your hand, "No, you're too good to me.. bunny," he winks.
1K notes · View notes
chateautae · 2 months ago
the lines between us | jjk. (m)
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banner credit to my lovely @viefleur isabella <3
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➵ summary : you’re detective partners who hate each other’s guts and everyone knows it. what they don’t know however, is that there’s so much more between the lines, and he knows damn well how to rearrange your guts too.
➵ pairing : detective!jungkook x detective!reader
➵ genre : detective!au, partner!jungkook, e2l!au, fwb!au, slight fantasy!au, one-shot, smut, angst
➵ rating : 18+
➵ word count : 10k
➵ warnings : swearing, angst!!, arguing, tension, mentions of guns, injury & crime, explicit sexual content, heavy petting, slight brat!reader, slight brat-tamer!jk,  fingering, nipple play, oral (f. receiving), clit biting, hate sex, choking, size kink, dirty talk, degradation, humiliation, restraint (w/ jungkook’s hands), denied orgasm, hitting it from the back, a spank, pain kink, missionary, creampie, cum play, overstimulation, f. masturbation, cum tasting, finger sucking
↳ in submission for the july games:
❂ “To The Lighthouse”          ⁂ hosted by: professor bee @inkedtae through @bangtansorciere
⤐  au type: salty shores // enemies to lovers ⤐  themes: slow burn, fantasy ⤐  kinks: clit biting, spanking, pain kink, size kink, dirty talk, overstimulation, degradation, humiliation, masturbation, cum play <3
➵ a/n : first of all massive thank you to bee @inkedtae !! thank you for offering your lovely help by having a read and making me feel 20892x more confident 😭 thank you to @viefleur my beautiful isabella for making this perfect banner for me!! i appreciate her hard work so much and thank you to my lovely @opaljm @taegularities and @hantaev​ for beta-ing!! not to forget @ppersonna​ lindy for helping me figure out my whackass tenses 💀 as always feedback means the world to me <3
➵ playlist : set me on fire by estelle
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“You’re the most infuriating person I know on this fucking planet.” 
Jungkook merely scoffed, a nonchalant roll to his uninterested eyes with his feet kicked up on his mahogany coffee table. He toyed with the stick of his lollipop he was licking at, savouring its flavour rather than paying attention to you. 
You snapped him an audacious, angry look, disbelieving of his current behaviour. “Are you even listening to me?” 
“I’ve been listening to you for the past half an hour, baby girl.” Jungkook chided, shooting the falsest smile he could muster on Earth. 
You exhaled curtly. “Don’t call me baby girl, you know I hate it.” 
“And that’s exactly why I say it.” 
You let out a frustrated grunt, grinding your teeth together as your annoyance boiled over. “Jungkook, I’m going to ask you one more time.” You paced over to where he was seated all lax, watching his once distracted eyes now look up at you. 
“Why the fuck didn’t you shoot when I told you to? We’ve been sitting here at your place for seven hours trying to find out where this fucker went, all because you didn’t have the balls to shoot!” 
Jungkook merely stared at you, and proceeded to deliberately suck on his lollipop, a dry laugh escaping him. “Baby girl, you know more than anyone else that I’ve definitely got balls.”
You took a deep, calming breath, subduing yourself from throttling him this instant. You definitely did know Jungkook had balls, especially considering he has been balls deep inside you, but that wasn’t the point right now. “Can you for once give me a goddamn real answer?” 
“I just did.” 
“Why the fuck didn’t you shoot?!” You nearly screeched out of nowhere. “Answer me right now, what kind of sick game are you playing?” 
“I’m not playing a game, it doesn’t matter why I didn’t shoot.” He avoided your eyes.
You scrunch your face into preposterous confusion. “What the fuck? Yes it does, your inability to shoot nearly cost us this case, you jackass.” 
“I don’t need to share with you why I didn’t shoot, sweetheart. Just take a shot of something and fucking relax.” Jungkook sniped back in an attempt to simmer you down, but you were fed up with his evasiveness.
“Did you want to let him go? Did you fucking sympathize with him or something?” You questioned him rebukingly. “What the fuck is wrong with you? What kind of sick justice are you upholding if you-” 
Jungkook then abruptly rose from his couch, lollipop ripped from his mouth before standing in front of you, his sweet breath close enough to tickle your cheek. You could practically taste the cherry flavour on his lips, Jungkook’s mean eyes staring you down before he grits. “I didn’t shoot because of you.” 
You creased your brows, stunned as all hell. “What? Why would you-”
“The angle I had wasn’t even half-decent. If I wanted a non-lethal shot, I would’ve had to shoot you too.” The information had you malfunctioning, absorbing it but not even registering the meaning. 
“And?” You challenged him, crossing your arms. “It’s not like I haven’t been shot at before.” 
Jungkook narrowed his steely eyes at you with a baffled glare, a dry exhale escaping him. “You just love being stubborn and pissing me off, don’t you?” 
“That’s exactly why I do it.” You mocked his words from earlier with a saccharine grin.
Jungkook inhaled to relax, shutting his eyes before he spoke patronizingly. “Don’t act too brave, baby girl. You know I’ve been in this line of duty longer than you and I don’t appreciate shooting my comrades to capture a damn suspect.” 
“Oh, so it seems I’ve been upgraded from partner to comrade?” You bit back. “And here I was thinking I was just a rump in the sheets to you, how fucking sweet of you, Jeon.” 
Jungkook scowled at you, brows hardened into an angry line with his lips thinly pursed. “And aren’t I just some Tuesday dick appointment to you? Are you saying you would’ve fucking shot me to capture the suspect if you were in my position?” 
“We had spent days looking for him and finally got a lead, I would’ve shot without hesitation.” You argued passionately.
“You can always find a suspect again, but you can’t fucking replace the damage of a gun wound!” 
“Yes you can, we have available units to treat me if necessary!” 
Jungkook let out one final, exhausted breath and paced away from you, chucking his long-abandoned lollipop in the trash as he ran his roughened up hands through his jet black, disheveled hair. His sleeves were rolled and unfairly showcased his delectable masterpiece of tattoos sprawled up one arm, tie sexily loosened and his jacket tossed against his couch, leaving him worn out in ways that dangerously beckoned you to hook a leg over his thick thighs. He appeared quite ravishing, a fact you wouldn’t deny, but your anger towards him clouded your mind. 
Jungkook knew this was an important case with an immensely powerful suspect; people’s families—sanities relied on you two figuring out who this psychopath utilizing such savage blood magic was, and seizing him for good. 
Your bureau was alarmingly behind, as would any organization of humans that overlook magic users, dealing with any fantastical, grim crimes that plagued this hellhole of a city. 
Humans were funnily the minority around here, it was a sparse rarity to be someone with magicless blood, to be ordinary. What did it entail for the poor humans residing here? Powerlessness, lawlessness, food. It allowed magic users to prey on humans till their hearts’ content; easy targets that bent and twisted to the magic they possessed with no means of escape or fighting back. 
That was years ago, however, because humans finally elected to utilize the one thing they harboured that was their very own, special magic.
Controlling people through governance.  
Humans decided to give themselves power, to begin policing, hounding, hunting down magic users that dabbled in any life of crime and claiming jurisdiction over them as some sort of science experiment gone wrong. From gambling to serial killers, shoplifting to homicide, your garbage dump of a city that housed the smallest human-to-magic-user ratio ever collected any and all disgraced, washed-up users. It called for pitiful little humans like yourself to be in the frontlines of it all, to be protected through means of knowing how to combat them.
So it boggled you, truly left you scandalized as to why Jungkook just didn’t shoot. Even if it meant shooting you, your wound could’ve been treated and the treacherous suspect captured, but he seemed to not be in his right of mind, and it made no logical sense to you. 
You and Jungkook hated each other, period. 
That’s how it always was and always will be, he doesn’t care about you. It had been that way ever since he was a reputable, well-respected special agent everyone adored, and you were a new agent trainee assigned to Jungkook like some tenuous Bambi. It was assumed you couldn’t walk on your own two legs in this cruel world as a woman; when in reality you were the sharpest shooter out of your academy.  
You pissed him off the second he’d met you; he despised your smart ass attitude and you hated his suffocating superiority complex. But despite that, and many other rocky mountains and high hurdles, Jungkook trained you better than you’d like to admit, and sooner rather than later your rank had skyrocketed to special agent, leaving him promoted to a senior special agent. 
And you were happy for the arrogant asshole, you really were. After all, Jungkook was your mentor, albeit insufferable and haughty, but you’d fought with him in the field; and you were proud of him. Proud to see him reach new heights and climb the ranks through honest, hard work.
That was, until you blasphemously learned you were to be partnered with him. 
That’s when your entire, placid world imploded, and you knew you wouldn’t live a single day in peace stuck with such an obnoxious, full-of-it prick you’d finally believed you were free from. 
“You should be grateful, do you know how many eager newbies are goddamn itching to be partnered with me?” 
“Shut up, you asshole. I’d rather choke on a cactus than be bossed around by you like some personal lackey.” 
“Your loss, sweetheart. But don’t be crying to me when you do end up giving in.”
Yes, Jungkook was hot and everyone knew it, he was the agency’s most eligible bachelor, caught women like they were damn Pokémon and he was Ash Ketchum, not to mention the X-rated rumours about his filthy, demonic skills in bed had him crowned the finest, and hottest man everyone either loved or envied.
Yes, he had sexy tattoos, yes, he was ripped and could probably manhandle you like his personal ragdoll, and yes, he knew how to pleasure a woman better than any midnight session with a vibrator, but you hated Jungkook, alright? And you’d never give in to him.
Even if one long, tequila-ridden night not only led to you both wearing your hearts on your sleeves, but also him wearing you on his cock. Merlot turned into insatiable nights where he touched your shuddering body like no other man ever did, even tireless days of working without a single lead would leave his only stress reliever being your lips wrapped around his cock, that’s all Jungkook and you were. 
Partners, allies. You had his back and he had yours, you scratched his and he scratched yours; but none of this unfortunately negated the sheer indignation that tainted your relationship. 
He was stuck up, ridiculously cocky, drove you up a wall faster than you could shoot a bullet and you were stubborn, disobedient, too caught up in work for your own good. You were oil and water, a mix of kerosene and an open flame, a disaster waiting to happen anytime you were both left unsupervised. But what made you two even stick together in the first place? Why your deputy chief of staff even recommended your partnership?
Your synergy, your sheer success rate together. When your minds melded as a pair it was a seemingly effortless work of art, your teamwork a formidable force to be reckoned with and rarely ever brought to the ground. Even if you both disagreed and argued on various occasions, you and Jungkook naturally understood each other without words, moved like the adjoining gears inside a clock, the instinctive push and pull of a lunar tide.
You presume it’s what happens when partners spend so much time together. 
But right now, there was nothing synergetic about this. Jungkook was evading you, and you have no clue why. It shouldn’t have mattered if you’d get shot as well, so long as this case could’ve been closed and solved. 
“You drive me fucking insane.” Jungkook murmured under his breath, his broad, muscular back to you.
“Excuse me?”
“I said,” Jungkook swiveled around, facing you with his hands perched on his hips and jaw fiercely locked. “You drive me fucking insane.”
“I didn’t know stating facts could get you so riled up, Jeon.”
“Facts?” Jungkook scoffed darkly. “So what, you wanted me to shoot you? Is that what you wanted? For me not give a fuck about you?”
“Since when did you start giving a fuck about me?”
“Since the day I fucking met you, Y/N!” Jungkook shouted. “I would never, and will never put my partner and previous student in danger for a simple case, when will you understand that?”
“I won’t understand because this is our job, Jungkook. We have a duty as detectives to fight for justice and I will do anything to remain loyal to that oath. Don’t you fucking get it?!”
Jungkook looked away from you then, a disbelieving shake to his head. His cold eyes fell to the patterned rug on his floor, taking a deep, composed breath. He exhaled, tapping his foot uselessly before pacing towards your shrunken figure, like a man with a purpose. He captured your jaw delicately in his inked, veiny hand, the other falling against your neck. Your heart beat ardently as he guided you to peer up at him, and you do, finding eyes that implored you and revealed his uncharacteristic vulnerability.
“Would you have shot if it was me?”
You’re immediately flooded with an abundance of feelings, bewitched when Jungkook’s icy cologne flooded your nostrils, and suddenly it was hard, too hard to breathe. Feeling his strong, wide body so close, the heat of his presence so near made your chest flutter with something fiery, and your insides roared insatiably. His rough, masculine hand against your soft cheek left a rush of memories sweeping through you, too overwhelming to ignore.
All those nights these same hands touched your core that visibly ached for him, wrapped around your throat like a necklace that screamed you were his, fingertips bruising your blazing skin from how tightly he’d hold you, because he needed you that badly.
Your body ignited, intaking a shaky breath. “Yes.”
“Don’t lie to me,” Jungkook said softly, lightly drawing his thumb over your cheek. “Look me in the eye, and tell me the truth.”
Maybe this was what made Jungkook so easy to give in to, what made falling into his perfect abyss so effortless. Because even if you two fought, never saw eye-to-eye, he was gentle, kind, a tender soul. “Would you have shot me, Y/N?”
His eyes, they’re what drew you in first. His expression was always hardened into a scowl; a stone-faced, genius, fearless detective that got the job done better than anyone else, but it was his eyes that revealed to you there was so much more underneath his rock hard, seemingly impenetrable shell.
And every time you’d lay naked in his sheets, let him press his sinful lips all over your sensitive skin. Ran your dainty hands over his inked, meticulously-carved muscles, his gorgeous, bare body moving over yours as you let him sheath his delicious length inside your needy figure, you chipped away at that shell. 
Each intimate and purely lust-filled encounter that morphed into moments of peaceful solitude. Every kiss behind closed doors, the quaint mornings he’d sometimes stay and make you your favourite coffee in your favourite mug, held you close when certain men eyed you for too long, it was a chance to see this Jungkook. A Jungkook you could maybe, maybe have a soft spot for in the depths of your hesitant heart.
You swallowed, wetting your lips as you let them fall open.
Jungkook’s expression lightened, softening as he merely held you, really looked at you. And you could say your heart skips a beat, but whose wouldn’t when Jeon Jungkook touches you like this? Stands this close and goddamn looked at you like that?
“But I still think you should’ve shot,” you repeated earnestly and Jungkook tongued his cheek with a disbelieving exhale, hands quickly abandoning you as he laughed.  “You can’t stop being stubborn for one fucking second, can’t you?” 
“I mean it, Jungkook.” You stressed, not even searching for an argument anymore, but for him to simply understand you. “You can’t hesitate in the line of duty, and if you’re having difficulty doing so then you’re costing people their lives.” 
“Don’t you dare lecture me about being in the line of duty, you have no clue what I’ve seen.” He sneered back at you. 
“And you have no clue what you just cost us,” you implored pressingly. “It shouldn’t have mattered if I got shot.”
“Yes it did, we can always find a suspect later.” 
“And you could’ve easily gotten another partner, I’m replaceable!” 
“No you aren’t!” 
“Yes I am!” 
“I don’t want another partner!” 
“It doesn’t—!” 
Suddenly Jungkook was directly before you and grabbed your face, crashing his lips against yours and engulfing you in an intoxicating, heated kiss. You hesitated for a mere second before you tasted the cherry on his lips, finding relief in the press of his mouth, a home in the way he holds you. 
Your hands hooked onto his wrists, allowing your mouth to open and catch his in yours, craving the taste of him, the saccharine sweetness yet sinful passion of his ethereal lips. 
Maybe that’s what made Jungkook so addicting, tempting. He was a sin in disguise, the perfect combination of heavenly tenderness but moved with the lust and fire of a demon, a hell’s flame that burned you intensely enough you ached to feel the same heat over and over again. 
Your veins rushed with adrenaline, breathing in his kiss as he swiped his tongue along your bottom lip, requesting the permission he knows he has, but always felt the need to courteously ask. You opened up and his tongue invaded you, a plentiful, delicious feeling that no other could replicate. He licked your mouth exploratively, traversing into the wet, slippery confines of your mouth as you sucked on his tongue, offering up your hungry mouth to catch the most you possibly can of him.  
Jungkook suddenly became rougher with his kiss, the sheer power of it having lazily stalked you both back against his oak dinner table, your ass meeting the very edge as a little noise escaped you. Jungkook swallowed it and dragged his hot hands down your body, feeling over your perky chest and sensitive sides until he hooked onto the back of your thighs, tugging at them. 
You understood his motive and leapt up onto the table behind you, settling your ass over the surface as he gripped your legs wide open. He slotted himself in between and utterly ravaged your mouth, his grasp tight on your thighs as his delectable crotch pressed up against your gushing core and elicited your incessant, winded moans. 
He began trailing hot kisses down your jaw, craning your neck for him to mouth at you as though he was starving, your fingers weaved through his black locks you occasionally tugged at. You lightly leaned back as Jungkook met the base of your neck, groaning as he supplied you with pleasure like no other. 
“Fuck,” Jungkook swore, his breaths hard and deep. “You drive me insane.” His insatiable lips returned for more, wrapping his mouth around your neck to suckle at viciously. 
“I fucking hate you.” You sighed out, biting your lip with a heady moan the further he travelled down, and by the time he’s reached the collar of your shirt, he tore it right open without a hitch, abandoning any care for your stupid blouse. 
“I fucking hate you, too.” He groaned huskily. 
You moaned out deliriously hearing his heated voice, your hatred for each other somehow revving you both on, eliciting a passionate fire that burned brighter than the sun. Your bra-clad breasts are bared to him in a plum, lacey piece. Jungkook’s lips met the flesh of your tits as he toyed with the rim of your bra, rough hand curling around your waist he held like fine china, but gripped hard enough to churn your delicate insides.
“Jungkook..” You sighed, throwing your head back as his lips dangerously neared a nipple after exposing a tit, hand swept up in his luscious locks. “Want you.. so badly.” 
Jungkook breathed a scoff against your skin, smirking smugly when you shuddered at the feeling. 
“Always this worked up over my mouth, huh?” You mentally eye rolled at his jab, but physically your body pressed further into his, desperate for something searing, something more. You locked him in by the back of your shins, pulling him snug to you as a signal to get it on. Jungkook confidently took your push and unclasped the hook of your bra, quickly sliding off the pesky straps and tossing the garment elsewhere. 
You moaned lewdly when Jungkook wrapped his lips around your exposed nipple, sucking tantalizingly until they hardened into pert peaks, eliciting your fucked out groans as you bunched his hair in your fist. “Fuck.. Jungkook.”  
“You need me that badly, baby girl?” 
You nodded without shame, the press of his tongue against such a sensitive nub causing you to repeatedly arch into him, enjoying the electrifying pleasure he coursed through you. The heavy, hard feeling of his cock against your leg also did you in, waking the lust-filled beast inside you. “Jungkook, please.” 
Jungkook’s name on your pretty lips sounded like music to his ears, the submissive pleading, the intoxicating need you had for him something he’ll never get past. “I’m coming, sweetheart. I’m not done with you yet.” 
Jungkook slathered his tongue over your other nipple before resurfacing to you, holding your naked waist as your shirt pooled around your elbows. You grabbed at him immediately when he kissed you, making out shamelessly as your greedy hands traversed his neck and muscular chest, tugging on his shirt to hear his deep, throaty sounds. 
Jungkook moaned into your mouth, a delightful ecstasy you swallowed with pleasure and made your pussy gush with arousal. Your hands became restless, feeling up all his brawny muscles you knew he hid underneath his useless tops. 
Jungkook is built as fuck and everyone knows it, that strong, bulky back of his at the forefront of your wild fantasies; yearning to scratch it all up but it’s his unique proportions that always stunned you. His beautiful S-line figure, that tiny waist but broad, expansive chest you wanted to dig your nails into. 
You bee-lined for his buttons, messily undoing them as you ripped his shirt open, Jungkook assisting you by peeling back the item from his thick shoulders rapidly and disregarding it as quickly as he did manners. 
Jungkook’s hand fell down your sides before he hooked his fingers onto the waistband of your pants and panties, lips unable to disconnect. You helped him by shimmying immediately and he aggressively tugged them past your ass, mouths still desirous and flaming
He discarded your clothing and his greedy hands slid over your bare thighs, whimpering when you felt his masculine, rough skin against such a sensitive area. He dipped teasingly towards your inner thighs and gently pushed them open, twitching immediately at the air that kisses your bare, wet pussy. You sense him smirk against your lips, breaking away for much needed oxygen, his fingertips gripped onto your supple flesh. 
You’re left with a flimsy shirt on and nothing else, bared to Jungkook in all your nakedness. He breathed hotly as he scanned over your body, eyes a blown out, dilated mess that made your heart hammer in your chest, exposed chest rising and falling in a rhythm that entranced Jungkook far more than you ever knew.
“Shit, you’re so fucking hot.” You smiled proudly, rising from your leaned back position and wrapping your arms around his beautiful neck, meeting him for another brazen make out. He left you winded, delirious as his arms naturally cradled your waist, and you whispered against his glistening lips; those plump, shiny little petals that always left your soul aflame.
“Fuck me, Jungkook.” Jungkook released a puff of air against you, as though his own arousal raked his insides as you requested but he was abstaining for now. You were nose to nose, mouth to mouth as he enclosed you safely in his arms, soaking in this heavenly feeling, the feeling of you. “Wanna feel you inside me, baby.”
“Not yet, baby girl.” He breathed. “Wanna touch you.” 
Your chest flutters when Jungkook suddenly pinned you down on the table, the slam of your back against the cold wood eliciting an agreeable moan from you. He hovered above, shirtless and golden in all his ethereal beauty, the elegant carving of his muscles, each and every curve and groove sculpted meticulously by God himself. Jungkook was stunning, beautiful, an angel wrapped up in sin and your eyes couldn’t help but devour him while. 
Jungkook ensnared a wrist of yours against the table, his other hand inching up to your throat before lightly choking you, watching you lose some of your air and shut your eyes in pleasure, his own enjoying the eroticism of the image. He smirked before colliding his lips with yours once again, kissing you hungrily. 
He hummed and moaned into the kiss before his hand around your neck traveled down your writhing body. He glided his fingertips over your sensitive, heated skin, touching all that he could as he passed over your stomach and met your pelvis, fingers eventually dipping into your puffy, pulsing pussy lips. 
You gasped, gripping your hand into a fist and Jungkook noticed, slotting his fingers with yours to soothe you. He watched your reactions below intently, enjoying every second of your usually independent, bull-headed self turning into a whimpering, moaning mess underneath him. 
“Baby girl likes my fingers, doesn’t she?” 
You nod while chewing your lip, attempting to silence your submissive noises but he slipped two scheming digits through your pulsating pussy folds, cunt shivering under his magical spell. 
“Like that my fingers can do things your small ones never can, huh? Think about them touching you?” He whispered against your lips and you nodded again, letting out a whimpering moan as Jungkook massaged your little mound, finding the pearl and slow speed that drove you insane. You sighed lewdly, gripping his fingers like a vice as your other grasped his wrist in between your legs, working you like a fiddle as you fidgeted and whimpered. 
“Such a dirty girl, loves screaming at me in the office, but screams my name when she wants to come?” You moaned erotically at his words, digging your nails into his wrist when he teased your shuddering entrance. “Jungkook..”
“If only everyone knew,” Jungkook’s eyes were a crimson red of desire, lips inches from yours as he watched your fucked out reactions to simply petting your little cunt, the cunt he so desperately would love to shove his hard cock inside right now. “How much of a dirty girl you really are, a whore for my cock.” 
You sighed when Jungkook slid two of his thick digits inside your wet hole with ease, fingering you like it were a game he mastered ages ago. “But I know.. only I get to know, huh, detective?” 
The formal addressment made your body shiver, hand gripping his shoulder as you beckoned him closer and gently rutted your hips into his hand needily. “Jungkook.. Jungkook, please.” 
“What do you want, Y/N?” Jungkook purred against your mouth temptingly, his hot, sweet breath and sinfully working his fingers into your aching pussy spelling your doom. “What do you want from me?” 
You keened when you felt Jungkook’s fingers pump you faster, the thick shape of his digits inside you providing the perfect, delicious drag as he lightly scissored you open. “You, Jungkook.” You breathed, chest rising and falling under his scandalous touch. “I want you.” 
“You have me right here, baby girl.” Jungkook cooed, twisting his fingers inside your slicked, fluttering walls as you moaned lewdly, feeling your body ignite with unsatisfied hunger. “What do you need?” 
“Your cock, Jungkook.” You squeezed his hand when he suddenly curled his fingers inside, stroking the roof of your cunt with practiced ease. “Want you inside me—oh God.”
Jungkook smirked, in love with the way you begged for him, needing him and his cock more than anything. Jungkook pecked your pouty lips as his voice dropped an octave, delectable fingers pleasuring your fluttering cunt as he hummed indulgently at your pathetic whimpering. “Mmm, let me taste you first, baby girl.” 
His lips hovered mere centimeters before yours, your whole being screaming to just kiss him, but Jungkook grinned evilly as he slowly drew his coated digits out of you. He breathed purposefully against your skin, body shivering once his lips skimmed down the column of your throat. Your body arched off the dinner table, Jungkook releasing a puff of hot air between the valley of your breasts, lips grazing over your midriff as you lose your fickle sanity, his lips pecking sweetly at your stomach.
He kissed you just underneath your navel, toes curling as you clutched his hand against a fabric dinner mat. “Jungkook.. fuck.”
He continued to lay tantalizing pecks until he’d arrived at your pelvis, your legs restless knowing where his lips planned to go. You became a little fussy, impatient as you craved his mouth on your weeping pussy and you wriggled around, eager for him.
“Jungkook, please.”
“Patience, Y/N.” Jungkook cooed. “Such a needy little cockslut.”
You whined again and your legs incessantly fidgeted, Jungkook hooking his hands around your thighs and prying you wide open for him with a hard lockdown. You moaned when he smoothed a hand over your body, laying you down against the table and reclining you. You felt his plushy lips inch towards your core, Jungkook shooting his eyes up to view your fucked out expression before cracking a smirk, pressing his lips against your clit.
You gasped immediately, back lurching as you felt him wrap his mouth around where you’re most sensitive, tongue coming out to play over your leaking pussy. “Jungkook… fuck.”
He flattened his tongue next and licked up your cunt, gathering your essence on his tongue he tasted pleasurably. “Shit, Y/N, always taste so fucking sweet.”
You muffled your moan as you chewed your bottom lip, but lost your mind when the tip of his tongue pressed against your pulsing clit. You let out a broken moan, hands slithering into his hair as you massaged at the roots of his locks. “Oh fuck me, Jungkook.”
“Only time I can get you to listen is when I’m licking your cunt, huh?” Your hand came down to smack his bicep and he laughed, fingertips gripping you harder as he held your squirmy legs open. “Stay still, baby girl. Need to taste you.”
He slithered his tongue through you again with a moan, swiping through your quivering folds and you crumbled, felt your joints lose their cohesion over your beating cunt. You mewled shamelessly, letting his masterful tongue lick at you like he always does, kneading the flesh of your thighs as he ate you out contently.
“God, how could I shoot you when I wouldn’t get to taste this pretty pussy?” Your stomach brimmed with butterflies, walls pulsating as he made out with your cunt, sucking and licking wherever, whenever he desired. “Can’t wait to fuck this cunt open.”
His words shot adrenaline through you, tugging on his hair as you rode up on Jungkook’s gorgeous face, and he happily let you unabashedly grind while losing your now hysterical mind. “Jungkook, fuck, fuck—!”
“Mmm, dirty girl’s gonna come? Come all over my face?” He chided you, and you realized you’re in fact near your release, your pussy walls aching, your clit begging for attention. “Wanna cover me with your cum?” 
“Jungkook, I—“
And that’s when he glided a hard hand over your pelvis, fingers splayed over your fiery skin as his thumb dipped down to begin toying with your clit, squealing when you felt his delicious ministrations.
You threw your head back against his table, legs desperately itching to close but Jungkook kept you open, whimpering when he wrapped his entire hungry mouth over your cunt and suckled you like a lollipop. “Jungkook, oh fuck, Jungkook.”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Don’t stop, oh fucking hell don’t stop.” Jungkook smirked, allowing himself to lose control and go to town on your ravaged pussy. He kissed and licked without mercy, wet smacking noises escaping from between your legs as he worked like a man gone wild.
“Fuck, you’re dripping, Y/N.” Jungkook breathed harshly, peering down to his face shoved between you and a fucked out moan escaped you. You gripped his hair again and he lets out a delicious groan, the vibration sending a ripple through your shuddering body.
“Oh God, Jungkook. Hate you so much but your fucking tongue—!” Jungkook flapped the murderous wet muscle all over your pathetic little cunt with a smile, making you clench so hard your orgasm tickled the bottom of your stomach incessantly. He rubbed your inner thigh as comfort before his fingertips grazed your groin, jolting when you felt the contact. His same fingers teased your entrance before he slicked them up, sliding them right inside your pulsing pussy and you let out a lewd, erotic moan.
“Mmm, wonder who taught you how to be so dirty, sweetheart.” Jungkook goaded you amusedly, and he worked his magic on you then, your walls pulsating so badly you felt a familiar coil tightening your guts, riding up against his face until Jungkook began applying harder pressure on your clit. Your eyes rolled back, this deadly combination of both his hands and sinful mouth licking and touching your pussy spelling your pathetic end.
You began whining, writhing around as you called for him. “Jungkook.. wanna come, please.” You get out, feeling Jungkook’s heavenly ministrations on your cunt and you morphed into complete jelly, insides buzzing with your orgasm.
“Jungkook, baby, please.” You implored, and suddenly you felt his teeth lightly squeeze around your clit, yelping after immediately feeling the bite.
“Jungkook, what the fuck!”
“Didn’t I say patience, sweetheart?” He shot you a smug grin, challenging you with his eyes alone. “Need to take my sweet ass time with a bratty junior like you.” 
Your insides rippled with a rush of arousal, orgasm bubbling in your gut. “Jungkook, I can feel it.. wanna come around your cock.. I need to.” 
“I fucking love hearing you beg, you know that?” He smiled condescendingly at you before returning to soddening up your pussy, licking and sucking it as though you were his favourite meal. You whined again, his tongue so fucking good that you were rutting your hips against his perfect mouth. “Jungkook.” 
“God, always runs fucking circles around me but the second I lick your cunt, you’re a whiney mess?” You knew his words were meant to humiliate you, but they instead ignited your insatiable flame, wanting him to fuck up your insides, to ruin you like you needed.
“And you’re the same asshole.. that never listens to me... but loves hearing me moan?” 
Jungkook laughed dryly, releasing your cunt with a lewd pop before he tugged you up to him, naked chest tumbling into his roughly as your innocent eyes questioned him. “Jungkook, what the fuck—” 
But he shut you up when his lips pressed smack dab against yours, hands firm over his chest as you curled them up in desperation, his arms caging you against his warm, strong body. You tasted remnants of yourself on him, moaning when you caught a sloppy lick and Jungkook’s keen hands canvassed down to your plump ass, feeling you up before he hooked them underneath the flesh of your thighs. 
He lifted you off the dinner table, tugging your exposed body close to him as he allowed your feet to hit the ground, making out with you as though you’re his only fresh water, and you licked into his mouth like he’s a mirage in the Sahara.
You scratched at his sturdy chest in frustration however, biting his lower lip as you ripped away from him. “Asshole, don’t deny my orgasm-” 
And in a split second, you were spun around and shoved onto his dining table, breasts falling against the cold surface. You gasped, opening your mouth to question Jungkook but suddenly felt a harsh smack against your ass, biting your lip to contain the ripple of the indulgent sting. 
“How many times do I have to tell you to speak with respect to your superior?” 
“You don’t deserve my respect when you don’t let me-” You squealed when you felt another harder spank, Jungkook’s hand cradling your shoulder as the other soothed your ass cheek, and you whimpered in delight. 
“God, such a stubborn, bratty little whore.” You moaned at his hand dipping in between your folds, rubbing your pulsing entrance from behind and you twitched underneath him. 
“And what an obnoxious, cocky ass bastard--” Another rough slap to your ass had you deliciously reeling, the pain stinging so good you needed to clamp down on your bottom lip. Jungkook knew you loved this, telltale by the heady groan that escaped your pretty lips, abandoning your ass to work his belt. 
He unfastened the annoying contraption and slipped his pants off, baring to your backside his elongated cock that sprung out, hard and flushed red as his tip glistened. Your hands remained fidgety against the table, sensing Jungkook’s aura and knowing you’re the delectable, five-course meal he’d been waiting for all this time.
Your pussy continued to pulse for something, to finally be filled up and wrecked the way you desired until you were granted all your needy wishes. The bulbous tip of Jungkook’s heady cock suddenly pressed against your center, your body twitching violently at the fleshy touch and Jungkook chuckled condescendingly. “Tuesday’s dick appointment’s here.” 
“It’s Thursday, Jungkook, fuck you—nngh.” 
You whimpered when he suddenly pushed against your hole and breached you, the tip of his meaty cock enjoying the slick of your walls. “You were saying?” He snarked as he eyed up your arousing figure from behind, biting his lip. “Pretty ass up for me, baby girl.” 
You complied, adjusting yourself with your ass up and offering it to him, propped on your elbows as your breasts dangled against the table, supplying your nipples with deadly friction. 
Jungkook kissed your back before you could even utter anything, his hand curled around his shaft as he slowly pushed into you, feeling your smaller form grind back for more and he groaned pleasurably. “Fuck.. you’re so needy right now, my cockslut.” 
Jungkook flitted down and watched the massive size of himself and your tiny pussy, his dick throbbing once he felt the tight squeeze of your walls around him, fitting inside you like a glove. “Jesus Christ, Y/N, such a tight little cunt, fuck.” 
He pressed further into your soaked walls, the invasion of him utterly divine, the sheer girth of him splitting you open in the most delectable of ways.  “Jungkook.. oh God, deeper baby, please.” 
He plastered on a smug grin, hands now curled around your hips as he sheathed his hardened dick inside you. “What did I say about when you beg me, baby girl?” 
“Jungkook..” You groaned, your breaths mangled and hard managing him inside you, nails scratching the surface of his table. 
He gripped your hips harder, leaning down over your already sweaty body and near growling into your ear. “What did I say?” 
“Detective Jeon..” You moaned, knowing Jungkook had a hot fixation with you calling him by his formal addressment. Maybe it was because he had two years on you and yet, you disregarded any and all kinds of respect with him, addressing him however you chose. You knew it always pissed Jungkook off, and you never allowed yourself to fold in a regular setting. 
But this wasn’t a regular setting, with Jungkook having you pinned down and ass up for him, balls deep inside you. Jungkook’s dick was godly, a large, perfect size that smashed all the spongy and erogenous spots inside you, and like hell were you not going to fold to whatever he wanted. 
“Detective, please..” You begged, glassy eyes peeking behind you at his onyx ones. “Want you deep, please. Detective Jeon-” 
And you gasped sharply, ass high in the air when Jungkook suddenly drove himself into your cunt so deep, his tip nuzzled against the opening of your cervix, your crying pussy welcoming him with open arms. You whimpered lewdly when he simply remained there, savouring the way your warm walls fluttered so incessantly around him, and you could feel every inch of his throbbing, fat cock. 
“Jungkook, shit, Jungkook.” 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jungkook repeatedly cursed, relishing in the tiny confines of your small pussy he couldn’t fathom fit his large member inside. That’s what he loved the most, the way your smaller form always knew how to handle any challenges that were thrown your way. Whether it was a formidable foe, a life-threatening case or his massive cock, you were always up for a challenge, and it always ignited his veins with a lusty, desirous flame.
But right now, he watched you breathe shallowly and your hands grip the sides of his table in an attempt to relax, Jungkook’s lips that hang open pressing kisses to your spine with a sweet coo. “You got this, baby girl, breathe.” 
You nodded as your weak reply, allowing your body some ease and your pussy opening up to him, the feeling more than just liberating but riveting, glorious. The sheer size of him in this position, his wide girth that always challenged you but pushed your limits in ways that left you thrilled, only made you crave him so much more. 
“Jungkook, ah—Jungkook. So fucking big, oh my God.” 
“Shh, I got you, sweetheart.” Jungkook fit his free hand around your waist, supporting your body as he pulled himself out, feeling your walls trap and hug him inside, only to sheath his cock back in with a soft thrust. You moaned lewdly, Jungkook pressing his pelvis against your pretty hips as he kept himself deep inside, and it’s as though your world exploded into colours you could feel. 
Jungkook always does this, always did this. He knew where to hit and how, pleasured a woman as though it was his fucking birthright, and God did you yearn for him more than any other desire in the world. “Jungkook.. fuck!” 
“Love feeling me inside you, don’t you, baby girl?” Jungkook goaded, supporting your waist upwards as he drew out of your tight cunt, and stuffed himself right back inside with a gentle pump. Your hands clasped his table like a vice, body wriggling around but he held you hard, groaning pure filth behind you. “You love my cock, huh? Like being filled up like my needy little subordinate?” 
“Yes, detective.. oh fuck.” You voiced weakly, breaths becoming heavier once Jungkook pulled out and began a slow, head-spinning pace with his sizeable cock. He pushed his hips against yours to thrust inside deliciously, penetrating you in ways that leftyour walls clinging to his cock like a lifeline, Jungkook groaned out at the feeling when paired with your pretty moans. 
“Fucking hell, Y/N. Such a tiny little pussy, so tight,” he grunted, thrusting into you with mean precision as his hips kissed yours, feeling your body squeeze his thick length and he groaned out in pleasure “Fuuuuck.” 
He drove himself harder this time, fucking you deeply as he shoved his fat cock inside you, watching you moan lewdly underneath him as your legs squirmed, face buried onto his table.  “Jungkook, fuck—” 
“Shit, pussy so good,” he groaned as he swiveled his dick inside you, melting into a puddle of mush as he scraped the roof of your cunt, stimulating your engorged g-spot. You whimpered pathetically, rocking back on him for more and Jungkook moaned as he grasped your hips in place, voice husky when he scolds. 
“Did I say you could move?—ah fuck.”  Jungkook cursed under his breath when you fucked yourself back on him, needy and whiney and desperate for him. “Jungkook, keep going, oh my God.”
“Look at you, ass up face down for me on my fucking dining table.” Jungkook’s chest swelled with pride, suddenly drawing out and ramming into you with purpose, fucking you with hard thrusts that turned your insides into a weeping mess. 
“Who knew the same girl who never listens to me would let me take her from behind, huh?” He was clearly enjoying himself, feeling blood rush through his veins as he continuously stuffed you with his throbbing member, feeling the tantalizing shape of him fuck you so good; your clit was swelling into a pulsing bud. 
“Such a dirty girl in my hands.. but walks around—fuck—shit-talking me at the office, huh?” Jungkook grunted ferally, breathing harsher as he fucked himself inside you with deep and rough penetrations, skin working up a sweat as he relished in your needy moans. “If only they knew you moan like this for me.”
“Fuck you,” You spat back at Jungkook. “You walk around all high and—shit—mighty but the second your dick’s inside my mouth—ah!” You muffled your moan when Jungkook plunged into your pussy hard, stuffing himself to the very brim as he dared swivel his cock around again, letting you feel every inch of him. 
“You wanna talk to me with attitude again? How many times do I have to remind you I’m older than you?” Jungkook scolded as he supplied you with another deep thrust, seeing your nails dig into the wood of his table and moan pathetically but it only revved his hot engine, enjoying this picture perfect image of you from the back. 
“I don’t give a fuck, Jeon. Respect is—fucking hell!” You cried pornographically when Jungkook grabbed at your thighs and angled his strong thrust a little higher, stroking your g-spot like a sacred place. 
“Your legs, Y/N,” he grunted as he fucked into you, hair damp and sweaty. “Wrap them around me.” Your mind went blank when Jungkook instructed you so breathlessly, gut twisting when he hoisted your hips up and your legs grappled around his waist, wearing you like a belt. 
He continued battering your pussy from behind just like that, giving it to you fast and hard as you gripped the table for dear life and Jungkook railed you relentlessly, fucking you with precision and vigor so blissfully that your eyes rolled back. 
“Gonna fuck that attitude out of you,” he breathed harshly. “My needy little cockslut.” 
You scoffed with a light moan. “Maybe if you could fuck me right I’d be your cockslut, asshole.” You shot back at him knowing it would piss him off, and you could practically feel the energy in Jungkook shift as he hit your pussy with one last, cosmic thrust that had your body falling limp against his table, truly feeling him in your guts. “Jungkook..” 
“I don’t fuck you right?” Suddenly you were transferred from your breasts pressing into the wood onto your back, Jungkook’s cock slipping out of you in a swift pull. Your round eyes met his with panic. “Jungkook, what are you—?” 
He collected you in his strong arms, handling you like a useless doll when he threw your naked body over his shoulder. “Jungkook, what the fuck!” 
He didn’t respond, knowing you’d truly cut his last thread and he practically marched over to his bedroom, dangling you over his shoulder as you held onto him for dear life. “Jungkook, put me down—” 
Your sentence was battered with a sharp yelp when Jungkook tossed you down onto his mattress, the bed springing you back as you propped onto your elbows to question him. “Jungkook, fucking talk to me—” 
Jungkook swiftly engulfed you in an intoxicating kiss as his knee dipped into the sheets, leaning over your humming body that indulged in his lips and pressing you into his bed, hands entangling with yours either side of you as he kissed you deeply. 
His hardened and wet cock grazed your groin and you squirmed underneath him, fighting his hands to touch him, but he only locked you down harder, shifting his head to the side to capture more of your mouth he considered a utopia. 
He groaned into your mouth when you arched your body into his, feeling your hot skin contact his and suddenly the warm feeling of you and your pussy became something he’d missed dearly. He drew away with the release of a lewd pop, meeting his heated, flushed face as you breathed tremulously, eyes begging him for what you wanted most, and Jungkook didn’t need to say a word. 
His hands squeezed yours tightly, biting your bottom lip as your hips bucked upwards for him, chest rising and falling in anticipation and Jungkook had  never seen a sight more beautiful. He pressed his lips to your swollen ones again, gently kissing you when he inserted himself inside your fluttering heat once again. 
He entered you missionary style, moaning into his delicious mouth as he neglected preparation and used the oozing slick of your pussy walls to ease himself in. He began preliminary, experimental soft strokes that eventually eroded into fucking you fast and hard all over again. 
Your hands moved to loop around Jungkook’s sweaty neck as he shoved his tongue down your throat, but intake a gasp of air once he immediately denied you. Jungkook swiftly abandoned your hands to grab your legs and prop them up onto his shoulders, spreading you indefinitely open for him. 
You disconnected from him for a heady moan as the back of your shins settled over his strong shoulders, Jungkook leaned forward as he fucked you to tighten up your pussy and your vision clouded with twinkling stars. 
“Jungkook, oh fuck—Jungkook.” He pinned down both your wrists with his single, rough hand as his other inked one dared curl around your throat, repeatedly shoving his cock into you deeply. His hand squeezed the sides of your neck, losing air as your fucked out eyes looked into Jungkook’s blown out ones, feeling his cock fill you up to your stomach.
“You wanna be fucked like this, baby girl?” Jungkook breathed against your lips, maintaining eye contact that melted your insides. “Like you’re my girl?” Jungkook’s voice was soft and mellow, his lips hanging open as he snapped his hips into yours with deep thrusts, whimpering noises escaping your body that contorted for him. 
He was balls balls deep inside you now, your legs by your head as he moved inside you and stared into your very soul, watching your every reaction with his undivided attention. Your nails dug into the back of your hands, tears pooling your lashline feeling him so, so fucking deep. Jungkook’s tattooed hand choked you again, beckoning your meager voice. “Talk to me, sweetheart.” 
“I do, Jungkook. Wan—wanna be fucked like this—nngh.” You body jerked up into his when he supplied you with a hard enough fuck that felt like heaven. “Jungkook.. Jungkook.” 
“Is this how you wanna be fucked? Like you’re all mine?” You nodded incessantly, feeling his abdomen brush against your buzzing mound as you desperately ached to come, your walls pulsing so badly Jungkook could feel the constant fluttering. 
“You like this, sweetheart? It feels good like this?” You nodded again, your moans constantly ringing in Jungkook’s ears as he fucked you like he meant it, fucked your little pussy with purpose as he aimed to see you unravel underneath him, hit that g-spot hidden inside you until you convulsed around him. 
“Faster, Jungkook. Fuck me faster.” Jungkook heeded your request, increasing his speed as he fucked you into his mattress, cock filling you up to the brim each delectable time and nothing could’ve felt more right, so cosmically satisfying. 
“Oh God, Jungkook, fuck me-” You were cut off by your own moan when Jungkook stuffed himself inside you undeniably deep and upwards, feeling his dick throb inside you as your walls spasmed incessantly, grunting out himself at the divine feeling. 
“Oh fuck.” He cursed under his hot breath, peeking down at the way your tiny pussy engulfed his massive member. 
“Jungkook, please.” You strained at his hands but he only gripped you harder, hand around your throat supplying another light squeeze. “I’m gonna come, baby, please.” 
Jungkook’s eyes met yours, watching the way they implored him and scratched your own skin for more, only building the foundations of his soft spot for you. He leant his forehead down against yours, lips brushing against lips as he breathed over your mouth. “Then come for me, Y/N. Cream my cock like my fucking dirty girl.” 
And Jungkook’s hips picked up to an unforgivable pace, your legs stretched back on his shoulders to the max as he fucked into your tight cunt, relished in the warm wetness of your sex as he thrusted with vigor. 
You were a writhing mess underneath him, raking for that orgasm that so powerfully irked to release, grinding your hips up against his abdomen as you rubbed your buzzing, sloppy clit all over him. Jungkook immediately got the memo, angling higher as he hit that spongy g-spot and all you could see were hot flames behind your watery eyes. 
You practically screamed his name, losing your goddamn mind as he penetrated you hard, fucked you so good your entire system flooded over and your gates burst open astronomically. You came all over Jungkook’s cock, letting out a high-pitched, loud moan as you released your high, Jungkook slowing down his movements as he softly fucked you through your orgasm. 
He gently rocked himself inside, letting your walls trap him in any way they wanted and ride his cock like it was all yours, body falling into a state of relaxation. Jungkook still throbbed inside you though, knowing cum must be aching his balls and you broke out of his iron grip to grab at his torso, beckoning him to move again. 
“Fuck me again, Jungkook.” You breathed, face heated and flushed with post-orgasm bliss. “Fuck me like your cockslut, come inside me, detective.” Something snapped inside Jungkook, the shift in his eyes telling of that when he wasted no time and began rutting into your battered pussy all over again. 
You purposefully clenched the cum out of his cock as you tugged at his hips, squeezing him so tightly, so incessantly to subside your oversensitivity and Jungkook lost all forms of control. His thrusts became rushed and frantic, uncontainable as he used your body for his pleasure and finally released with an animalistic grunt, spilling his hot, abundant seed inside you. 
His face found your neck as he supported his balance on his forearms, ensuring he didn’t crush you underneath. Your legs faltered from his shoulders and ached the second they hit the mattress, hugging him to you as he composed himself. 
Jungkook relaxed from his high, breaths stabilizing as he peered at your fucked out, sweaty features before he spotted the mess between your legs. He slowly pulled himself out of you, drenched dick popping out of your cunt as you groaned the second you felt vacant, pussy clenching around a figment of your imagination. 
Cum spilled out of your battered sex and Jungkook watched with fascination, his eyes a playful obsidian as he wet his lips. Your tired ones fell to him admiring, soon feeling Jungkook’s sweep over your inner thigh before he swiped the excess cum back into your sopping cunt. You shivered with a light moan when you felt his deft hands touching your most intimate parts, biting your lip to contain yourself. 
Jungkook’s eyes snapped up to you, something about the flushed, sweaty sheen of your face captivating to him. He tongued his cheek, looking from your messy cunt up to you. 
“Fuck my cum into you.” 
Your eyes widened, shocked by his command. “Jungkook—” 
“Use your fingers, fuck my cum into your little cunt. I wanna see.” 
You swallowed, something about the order so tantalizingly hot you were left chewing on your lip, slight humiliation tainting your warm cheeks. 
And Jungkook seemed to notice, placing his hands either side of you on the bed as he crawled over your figure, hovering above. You immediately inhaled feeling him so close, body instinctively raising up to feel his against yours, and Jungkook connected your lips for a slow kiss. 
He worked his mouth against you tenderly, tongue dipping into your mouth tastefully before he disconnected, eyes watching you with an indistinguishable gleam, maybe even a small smile. He carefully slid his hand down to find yours, gently clasping on. 
Your eyes remained locked with each other, the energy palpable as Jungkook trailed your hands down your vibrating body, feeling his every hot breath against your soft lips. 
“We’ll do it together,” He said, pressing a chaste kiss to you. “I got you.” 
Your chest did that weird dancing thing it often did around him lately, fluttering with butterflies as your toes curled. You felt your entangled hands reach your pelvis together, breathing deeply to sustain your sanity once your connected hands slipped into your sodden folds, and he made you cup your sex in an instant touch. 
You gasped, the oversensitivity but the sheer feeling of him doing this too good to deny, too good to stay quiet about. Jungkook guided your hand to your entrance and gently grabbed your pointer and middle fingers together. He lined you up with your battered opening, chest rising and falling as you awaited the invasion, your eyes only on his. 
“Detective Jeon..” you breathed weakly, free hand slipping over his inked arm, softly admiring the captivating art and his Adonis-like muscles. 
“Shh,” Jungkook whispered against your lips. “Be my good girl, Y/N.” 
And he pushed your fingers inside your hole, the shape of your digits immediately impaling you and you whimpered underneath him, nails digging into his bicep. “Jungkook...” 
“C’mon, sweetheart.” He cooed. “Fuck yourself for me.” His words made you shudder, nibbling your lip as you slowly drew your fingers out and pushed them back in, setting a steady pace for yourself as you reeled with oversensitivity. You could feel Jungkook’s cum inside you, a white, hot mess of a creampie you knew he adored, so it was almost a little odd Jungkook instead relished in watching your reactions tonight.
His eyes had softened, though they still held the subtle insatiability of a beast, knowing with Jungkook’s stamina he was difficult to satiate. He seemed caught up in you however, even dipping down to connect your lips together as you moaned and whimpered into his mouth, diligently finger-fucking his cum into yourself as he swallowed up your pretty sounds. 
He disconnected, peeking down at you working yourself so hard it was as though his dick beckoned to be inside you again. “Shit, this is so hot.. you’re so hot, Y/N.” 
His lip hung open as he breathed unevenly, watching his cum spill out of your pussy as you continued steadily fucking yourself. “Doing so well, sweetheart. You’re such a good girl for me.” 
You mewled when you stuffed your own fingers deeply inside your heat, casting your arm over your mouth to muffle the loud, lewd noise. Jungkook’s eyes found you, licking his bottom lip at the lethal image. “You’ll never listen to me out on the field, but you listen to me in the sheets, huh?” 
You giggled under your arm, and you earned the chance to see Jungkook’s pretty bunny smile too. You were busy admiring the curve of his cute lips before you accidentally moved your legs open, groaning at the acute pain that stung your abused groins. Jungkook noticed and wrapped a hand around your wrist, drawing your fingers out of your cunt as he kissed the back of your hand. 
“That’s good enough, baby girl.” Jungkook then brought your wet digits before your lips, playfully poking your petals with your fingers as you stifled a laugh. “Suck them for me, detective.” 
You chuckled at his emphasis, opening your mouth to suckle on the mix of your releases and moan headily at the taste of Jungkook, his salty seed throwing a party over your taste buds. You sucked your fingers clean and released them with a lewd pop, Jungkook cracking an amused smirk at the sight before he let go of your hands, plopping down on the mattress next to you.
He folded his hands underneath his head as the action bulged his biceps, needing to refrain from groaning at the sight as you laid next to him naked. Your head naturally fell against his chest as he let it, a dainty hand splayed across his abs as you let your post-orgasm bliss carry you.
“I still think you should’ve shot.” 
Jungkook broke out into a snicker as you giggled against him, feeling the treasurable vibration of his pretty laugh. His laughter died down a bit, exclaiming playfully with a complaint,. “Aish, fuck you.” 
And then, Jungkook swept you up in his big arms, nimble fingers finding your naked sides and tickling you foolishly. 
“Jungkook, stop! You know how fucking much I hate tickling!” 
“And that’s exactly why I do it!” 
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You hummed to yourself peacefully as you listened to the bacon sizzle in the pan, wiggling around with your messy bun and enjoying the breeze the open window wisped up your bare legs. You’d hope Jungkook’s ridiculously large button-up on you would’ve kept you warm, his furnace of a damn body your usual heat source when you stayed the night. But right now, it just passed mid-thigh, and you still felt the drafts crawl up your skin. 
Jungkook rubbed an eye lazily as he stalked into his main area, the fresh scent of eggs in the morning having rumbled his stomach awake. His bleary sight fell to you mindlessly cooking in his kitchen, an indolent smirk inching onto his lips as he approached you, only dressed in his boxer shorts and a grey t-shirt. 
He cocked a brow spotting your smaller form in his shirt from last night, seating himself with an amused contort to his lips as his chin fell into his hand. “What’re you doing in my kitchen, dirty girl?” 
You whipped around to find Jungkook in his sexily mussed bed head, muscles and tattoos on full display in his t-shirt. You attempted scoffing off the arousal that shot through you at the combination of his sexy grin and husky morning voice. “Making breakfast. Though call me a dirty girl again and you get none.” 
“You seemed to love hearing it last night.” 
You gave him a deadpan expression as he chuckled, not missing the way his eyes discreetly scanned your bare legs before returning to your face. You let it boost your ego, setting the bacon aside to sway your hips a bit as you propped open the fridge door, nabbing some milk. You reached up on your tip-toes for a glass and poured Jungkook one, swiftly sliding it over to him. 
“Here, asshole. Just the way you like.” And Jungkook cracked a small laugh, curling his hand around the glass as he appreciated the familiar look of his favourite one.
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taglist : @hantaev @opaljm @ladyartemesia (tagged you for fun vi 😌) @kookingtae @veronawrites @dntaewithluv @justinetingball @fan-ati--c @dinoyoongi @favbtsficsrecs @complexmolecule @pootaetoo @viefleur @blvckbarnes @mrcleanheichou @jikookiekosmos @defnotjolie @sugaslittlekookies @kianam @wearenot7withu @creamcheesesodapop @love2luvya-blog @aphrodyteeth @tokkiggukie @bunnybearrj @ppeachyttae @chogiching @jjkreange @joonscupid @codeinebelle @02010802 @cherryjiminiee @thelilbutifulthings @haniitings @aomi-nabi @roro-in-utopia (so sorry for the people tumblr won’t tag!!)
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taegularities · 6 days ago
begin | jjk (m)
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Summary: “Being a human isn’t that bad when he gets to be one with you by his side.”
Before everything shatters like a mirage of an impossible dream, you teach Jungkook how to live a fulfilling life far from Heaven. His numb heart starts to gradually light up again; you make him begin believing in love and hope when not even starting afresh could. But then... everything shatters.
pairing: Jungkook x reader
genre: s2f2l, fallen angel / fantasy!au; fluff, angst, smut
warnings: major and minor character death (but the fic has a happy ending nw !!), themes of death / rebirth / illness, bad childhood / foster parents, not exactly biblically correct - i took some liberty with these themes (no insults or anything offending tho), jk is mean at first but softens up and becomes the sweetest guy ever, swearing, unrequited love for like... 5 seconds; explicit sexual content: outdoor foreplay, handjob, oral (f. receiving), groping, fingering, soft dom!jk, lots of kissing, unprotected sex (reader is on pill just for him, be careful guys), praise kink, marking, some manhandling, dirty talk, jk’s goddamn muscles and moans gawd
word count: 26.6k
a/n: first of all, look at this banner by @ddaechwita​, I’M SO IN LOVE, TYSM !!!!! T_T this fic was written for the wings collab hosted by @missgeniality​ who also beta’d this fic and listened to me ramble about it for months, along with @jimilter​, my talented lil goofball !! thank you for making fallen angel jk (and the summary smh) so much better <3 PLUS, ash and @ressjeon​​, i love you babies for lending me your beautiful names for some of the scenes *cries* !!
uploaded to AO3, too (for those who prefer pdfs or mobile readings!)
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Angels fall with a dull thump and the flash of a light.
A human ear registers the sound as a small whimper, a soft wind blowing and howling in a somewhat strange way for only moments before normality returns. But differently from mere mortals, Heaven and Hell shake at the disturbance, the rare happening indicating the failure of another superior creature.
Jungkook doesn’t remember the thump and the fall, but he remembers the brightness vividly - a striking and blinding light before he entered the life he’s gotten used to now. The punishment he’s wandered into would certainly be less frightening if he knew how he’d gotten to suffer through it and how he can fight it.
But his memory doesn’t reach as far back as he’d like to, leaving him with no other option but to live through the motions and waves of life until a secret is revealed to him one day. At least that’s what he hopes for - to find the answers to his being and to his way back. To find a reason for his misery and misplaced existence.
The thing is just that waiting seems everlasting. Like Heaven and Hell have given up on him and found something else to study and explore. He wouldn’t be mad if that assumption rang true - after all, he’s just a measly man, a failed angel of the universe who no one could be bothered with if more important business and struggles exist.
And even for him, thoughts of wings and images of the fall fade into the background as he approaches day after day, being the human he was punished to be; paying rent, studying, working out - everything that he’s supposed to do.
Jungkook is a college student when he first talks to you.
An overall permanently silent guy. One to sit in the last row, arms crossed in front of his chest and his head tilted, prolonged. You sometimes wonder if he’s even listening; and if he’s not, you wonder how he passes every single class with top grades without fail. You who struggle to keep your focus on the dull, monotone voice of your teacher for too long.
Something about Jungkook has always seemed too mysterious, too enchanting to you. Like he’s an otherworldly existence that wanders the Earth just to make the most skeptics believe in magic. And as you sit right next to him in class today, the spell pulls you in harder, your eyes trying their best to look at the pencil between your fingers instead of at his sharp profile.
It’s just close to the end of the lesson that you clear your throat - much to your surprise, without gaining any sort of attention from his side. Your digits fiddle with your pencil half nervous, half excited, your bubbly personality hidden behind the smile you practiced before talking to him.
But when your writing utensil rolls over to his space, your gaze widens and your teeth grit, an apology almost toppling out of you before he blinks once and looks at you carefully. And you’re devastatingly mesmerised.
His eyes are almost black, dark and starry, matching his raven hair and his somewhat ominous, somewhat bored stare. He takes in the surprise on your face, the curve of your lips, the raise of your eyebrows and the dark red chenille pullover that looks way too warm for late September.
The moment you sigh, he asks flatly, “Are you okay?”
You feign innocence and confusion, trying your best to not let it show that you’ve been thinking about him the whole time you’ve been sitting here - the whole time since college started. Your years-long crush has become too annoying to ignore. And in that sense, you’re glad when you hear his soft voice start the conversation first.
“Hm? Oh. Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just bored,” you tell him quietly, smirking slightly before you watch him avert his gaze again. His arms unfold as he brings his hands to the table and intertwines his fingers, focusing - or pretending to - on the content presented by your professor.
Your motivation sinks as you watch his attention and interest fade, and you chew on the inside of your cheeks for a moment before you lean in closer to him and add, “Don’t you think so, too?”
He doesn’t look at you properly as he shrugs his shoulders, leaning back and saying, “It could be worse, I suppose.”
Come on, Jungkook. You’re not boring, so stop acting like it.
He’s cold - has always, undoubtedly seemed like it, too. But you know that this can’t be all - behind his neutral face and lips forming a line, there must be more, something you can crack.
You hardly notice that you’ve been looking at him for too long - the pretty, defined features framed by pitch black hair, the melanin, sun-soaked skin and the pout of his plush mouth. And when he notices, his head moves to the side again, meeting your ogling and making you flinch as he inquires, “Can I help you somehow?”
Okay - now or never. He might declare you to be the craziest presence at campus after what you’ve planned, but it might be worth it to shoot your shot.
You’re about to reflexively shake your head before you bring your finger into the air, telling him, “Actually. Yeah. I’ve been stressed these days. Been moving.”
Jungkook doesn’t know what to do with the sudden information; it’s a TMI he finds hard to respond to. His lone self searches his brain for an appropriate, social answer, nodding slowly before he says, “Oh. Congratulations.”
At least he’s polite - that might be a good start. If he just wasn’t so obviously and painfully uninterested. But still, you gather courage, wetting your lips before you ask, “Hey, Jungkook. What have you been up to these days?”
And when he thinks for a moment, shrugging again and declaring that he hasn’t been doing much other than studying, reading and working out, you continue, “Cool. Would you like to help me paint my walls and set up my rooms?”
His face turns into the biggest, personified question mark you’ve ever seen, eyebrows pulling together as he tells you quietly, “That’s… not what I meant when I asked if you needed help-”
“I know, but! I really do need some help and I don’t uh- have a lot of non-busy friends? And my family is in my hometown, and I just really cannot do this alone and-”
“Y/N. That’s your name, isn’t it?” You nod, swallowing the knot in your throat. “We barely know each other.”
“So then let’s get to know each other now!” You’re enthusiastic and stubborn, he has to admit. A bit shameless, but at least that’s better than the whispers he notices and hears when he passes theatre or engineering students outside of the building.
“And why me?” he wants to know, eyes settling on your fingers playing with your pencil before they come back to yours.
You think for a moment, blinking as you attempt to find an excuse that doesn’t start with, “Well, I kinda, sorta, somehow have a teeny tiny crush on you, just of the size of a teeny tin-”
“You seem nice,” you answer instead, your smile sweet and your words genuine, “and I’d like to find out your study secrets to top you in class.”
Your grin widens, your eyes glowing as you wait for him to react. And he does - a small, subtle smirk gracing his features that you swear you’ve probably never seen before. You’ve always been kind to everyone - maybe you’re not in the biggest friends group, but you should be. As the first one to tell him he seems nice, you really should be.
His answer comes reluctantly, his soft voice whispering words you never imagined you’d hear. Despite asking the question, you’re utterly surprised by his response, a sigh escaping through his lips before he says, “Alright. Give me your number and address.”
And it’s enough for you.
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When the bell of your new apartment rings, you’re standing in the middle of the living room. You’ve already ordered and placed the food on one of the chairs that stands under the window, and the colour for the walls is ready to bring your room to life.
You didn’t know what else to do as you waited, and now that he’s here, your heart picks up on pace a little, your feet nervously carrying you to the entrance. Glancing through the peephole once, you take a deep breath, straightening your old shirt with your flat hand before you open with a radiant smile.
Jungkook gives you the slightest, ingenuine smirk when he sees you, nodding slightly as you let him in and babble, “Thank you so much again. I know you could use your time better, I guess, and that’s why I’m really grateful that you agreed to do this - oh, this way.” You laugh a little, watching him close the door again that he opened before you add, “That’s the bathroom.”
The flat is small but sufficient, and in that sense, you’re surprised when Jungkook peeks into the empty bathroom and storage room before you set foot in the living room. You take his coat when he strips it off his body, placing it on the kitchen counter a few feet away. The base of the kitchen is the only thing that already awaited you when you agreed to move in, saving you a great amount of money as well as time.
“I bought some pizza,” you tell him as you watch him roll up the sleeves of his red and black checked shirt, nodding with your words, “I didn’t know if you’re vegetarian or not, so I ordered one veggie pizza and one with chicken and extra corn and… Jungkook?”
He looks up from the pale yellow paint and into your face, his expression neutral and silent. You wonder if he ever lets himself feel, lets his emotion loose and showcased in his eyes. Because right now, you see nothing; a somewhat indecipherable gloom that makes you question if you’ve gone too far with your selfish request to help you out.
“Yeah?” he responds, raising his eyebrows. He almost looks cute like that - just a little curious, a little puzzled.
“Am I talking too much?”
The question catches Jungkook off guard. He reckoned you’d be speaking about random and various topics obliviously, never quite noticing how your conversation partner absorbed the information or your bright mood. But now that you’re pouting at him, obviously self-conscious but so endlessly innocent, he can’t help but feel the urge to tell you to keep talking.
Without breaking his front, however, he shakes his head, telling you softly, “It’s fine. You’re not. Thank you for the pizza, Y/N.”
And incredibly, this is all you need to brighten up again, your back straightening and head lifting. You inhale a fresh breath of air mixed with the strong, pungent odour of the paint. Step closer to him. Tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before you clap your hands once and finally get to work.
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The first layer of paint drenches your room in the smell that not even the pizza can overshadow, but as you sit cross-legged in front of the man you can’t tear your eyes off of, you can’t care less.
He’s started smiling at you. Has begun asking you questions and acknowledging your lame jokes. His natural self that hides behind the stone-cold facade has somewhat seeped through the cracks and given way to someone who responds to your warmth with his own. You wonder what occurrence in life has made him this quiet and reserved.
But you’re happy that he’s letting the veil fall with you at least a tiny bit.
“When did you start living on your own?” you ask as you take a bite of your pizza, fingers picking up the piece of chicken that falls back into the box. “How do you like it?”
Jungkook swallows his bite, licking his lips as he squints his eyes in thought before answering, “I moved out when I turned nineteen. Life’s been easier since then.”
“How so?”
There’s no issue with some of your questions that try to dig deeper than he’s fond of. They are still harmless - but somehow, he still finds it hard to answer. “I uh- just… the same old story. I didn’t get along with my foster parents very well and my personality irked them. Didn’t suit their lifestyle, I guess.”
“Oh? What lifestyle?” you ask, eyes fixed on the edges of your pizza piece, not noticing that he’s pressing his lips into a thin, somewhat unamused line. He can’t be mean to you when you’re just trying to converse - but what he certainly can do is try to shift the topic subtly.
“You know,” he begins, a hand gesturing around your room, “dark walls, pretty emo, disliked loud noises and exaggerated moods.”
“You sound like my grandpa,” you mumble; but he hears and laughs and you smile just slightly to not show the pride the voice of his happiness brings in you. “What’s your favourite colour?”
Glad that you’ve bitten the bait and directed your questions to standard small talk again, he sighs satisfied, telling you without a second thought, “A deep, pretty purple. The kind that looks beautiful on velvet or cashmere clothes. Purple ties and purple dresses.”
You wonder if he’d like you in a deep purple dress. Your mind immediately whirs with the idea to surprise him someday, but then you push the thought away in fear he might notice your eagerness and feelings as soon as you let them flow openly.
“Purple used to be my favourite colour when I was in elementary school. But then I…” You want to say something, give more background information - until you realise that you can’t. As soon as the words slide from your lips, you grow silent, watching a question form in his eyes as you understand that he’s registered your hesitation.
But you don’t let the topic advance, focusing on the conversation at hand as you continue with brighter eyes, “I just became more childish the more I grew up. No emo phase, just flowers and sunshine.”
You flash a grin, and Jungkook watches your nose scrunch in delight, small crinkles around your eyes so genuine that he can’t help but admit that he likes the way you smile. He likes when you giggle about your own jokes and praise your own personality, proud of the enthusiasm that blooms inside you without ever withering.
But somehow, you manage to crush it within a second in which he starts to admire you, the former discomfort returning the moment you speak again. “Hm, what else… siblings, did you have siblings in the foster home you grew up in?”
Every time Jungkook thinks back to his life, he sees darkness and melancholy. Sometimes, he wished he didn’t know about his real existence, the one he harbours deep inside him without any sort of purpose. There were moments and seconds when Jungkook doubted what flashed in his dreams now and then.
The whispers of Heaven, the picture of wings, the thump he fell with - sometimes, he thought he was living in a nightmare, in some sick illusion that his brain conjured when he felt particularly down. What if he was just crazy, imagining all the things, imagining the feathers that sprouted from his back when he looked into the mirror?
“No,” he lies - that is, until he realises that it’s not exactly a lie. The people there never felt like family anyway. “I didn’t.”
His patience runs thin, the smile fading and stare focusing on the tattoo on his fingers. He wants to somehow hint at the way he’s feeling, tell you that he needs you to shut up or himself to leave. And when you interrupt his thoughts again, he feels his blood boil uncomfortably, threatening to spill out of his vessel of endurance.
“Have you ever heard stories about your parents?”
“Listen,” he says a little louder, making you flinch at your seat on the floor. He didn’t even necessarily yell, but in the hollow room in which even a whisper echoes from the walls, his tone seems intimidating - and when you look up, his glance is even scarier.
“Stop fucking asking these things.” His mood shifts in an instant, his eyes filled with something that makes you sick to the stomach. Your hand holding the pizza halts mid-air as you watch him sigh and stand, looking down at you with furrowed, angry eyebrows.
“I-” you start, ready to apologise, your heart thumping and brain finally understanding how invading his privacy at your first get-together wasn’t the ideal way to go.
“No,” he interrupts, fear shooting hot through you and warming your cheeks in the most uncomfortable way, “I didn’t come here to get interviewed. I keep my life for myself for a reason, not for you to dig until I snap. Okay?”
You merely nod as you freeze at your spot, an inner voice urging you to ask him to stay, but your tongue and vocal cords fail you miserably. Despise comes over you when you find yourself weak in front of the half-finished pizzas, your usual courage faltering as you watch him step away and hear the sound of the door falling shut.
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The bitter truth is that Jungkook never knew his parents. As a fallen angel, he isn’t sure if he has proper parents at all; after all, his body fell to the ground pre-made - there was no scream in a hospital or a happy family that taught him how to live.
Does God above count? Is that what he was supposed to tell you? Or should he have whipped up a lie convincing enough to keep you satisfied, to make you move on from his background and onto his present existence?
No matter what reaction he deems appropriate now, none of it seems to matter, the seed done and planted and your sweet self probably hating his guts. He doesn’t feel the satisfaction he usually does when he finds himself in solitude again, away from voices and people who try to befriend him and look past his bitter personality.
This time around, it feels strange, even uncomfortable to know that he might be on your bad side now - you, who couldn’t anyhow know what his emotions and thoughts consisted of. You were trying to converse; attempting hard to let him know that you were interested in him as a person. 
But now… his secure stand of remoteness is staggering.
After ringing the bell next to your name at the building, Jungkook doesn’t expect for you to open, much less for your apartment door to stand slightly ajar. He knows that you’re aware of the fact that he promised to come by today at this time again when you were still smiling and joking about food and colours. But he didn’t anticipate that you’d still wait for him, let him in so blindly.
As he steps in, the alluring scent of probably greasy food reaches his nose, but before he can concentrate on it any further, he notices something that wasn’t there the last time - he’s sure.
The whiteboard hangs right over the low shoe cabinet, most of it still clean from ink and shiny white. He smiles when he sees the message scribbled onto it in neat handwriting, the g’s curled and the horizontal line of your t’s endless.
I bought burgers today x
Pulling off the coat from his shoulders, he places it on the shelf that seems brand new as well - seems like you’re absolutely capable of building a whole piece of furniture by yourself, too. He calls your name quietly, but you don’t answer, the small and narrow hallway devoid of your presence.
Jungkook ponders if you’ve opened and ran away, leaving him to wonder if you’ve given up on seeing him again. But when he pushes down the handle of the closed door to your living room, he meets your form kneeling on the floor, working on building a chair all alone with a focused crease between your eyebrows.
“Did you hear the bell, open and rush back to your chair?” he asks softly, kindly, careful to not appear like the bad, evil person between you again.
You look up with a shimmer in your eyes, your brows relaxing as you get to your feet to walk to the kitchen sink and fill him a glass of water. Maybe it’s just your manners - or maybe it’s the nervousness that makes you avoid his stare and his form.
He’s so close to you physically, but so far away in your mind. And no matter how alone you find yourself with him in your small, humble apartment, it will never feel as though you’re getting closer to his heart.
“I just wanted to finish it before you came. Here,” you state, handing him the glass of water that he sips slowly. “I didn’t think you’d come at all.”
You bury one of your hands in the back pocket of your jeans, shifting from one leg to the other as he tilts his head in slight confusion. “I didn’t think you’d want me here,” he says, trying to find your eyes that keep staring to the floor. “But I wanted to talk to you.”
“Yeah, I… suppose I need to talk to you, too.”
“Oh?” Jungkook voices, looking at the timid way you nod but still avoid his gaze. Any other time, you would’ve died for even a hint of his attention; but right now, his eyes seem to pierce through you, and you want him to look away. “Y/N.”
“Yeah.” You’re stubborn, or simply scared, as the spot on your wooden floor attracts you immensely - but when he steps closer, placing a finger under your chin to lift your head, you think your heart stops beating for a minute. And your heart - the poor thing already struggles daily.
You gulp as you look into his face, the neutral expression gone and replaced by something warm and understanding. And as you feel your mind and heart race, he pleads, “Look at me at least, though, can you?”
With a small nod, he lets you go, ready to turn around and take a seat in the middle of the room before you begin to gabble in the good old you-fashion. “I’m so sorry, Jungkook.” He halts as you wrap your palm around his arm, his eyes shooting to your hold before they go wide, distracted from your words.
“I’m not usually like this, I promise. I try to be thoughtful and careful, and it was absolutely not okay that I made you uncomfortable like I did. I should’ve…” And the rest fades into nothing, his arm twisting out of your grip as his hand grabs your wrist gently and looks at the somewhat deep cut on your forefinger.
You see it for the first time when he does, apparently never noticing the injury until now. But you don’t care; don’t really feel any pain, speaking on as he pulls you into the kitchen and to the first aid kit that you showed him last time.
“It’s just…” you continue, holding your hand under the water when he tells you to and hissing slightly at the burn you feel, “your private life is none of my concern. I shouldn’t have pondered and ris-”
“Y/N,” Jungkook then suddenly warns, holding out a stretched hand to shut you up before he opens the kit, “stop talking for a moment, okay?”
And so you do. You pull the zipper over your mouth; watch him disinfect your tiny, harmless wound; let him wrap the finger in a bandage within a minute. Something about his concern over such a small thing warms your chest and floods affection through you, your health apparently important enough to stop any talk and conversation about reconciliation.
For a while, you wait for him to speak. Nervous and curious to know what he might be thinking as he keeps looking at the little bandage. Just like you, he stays silent, standing in front of you as you press the small of your back against the kitchen counter. And after a while, he finally breaks the quietude, covering your hand with his as he declares, “It’s okay.”
You want to tell him that it’s really not; that you want to make it up to him. But before you can say anything triggering, you choose to wait just a little longer, seeing him move away from facing you and take the same position against the counter that you are in, next to you .
“I never knew them,” he tells you quietly, gripping the edge of the countertop. You lift your head to look at him, your healthy finger running over the bandage as you admire his profile in the comforting daylight. “My parents, I mean. I don’t know who they are… or where they are. I don’t even…”
He laughs a little, an ingenuine, pained chuckle that hurts you in a way it really shouldn’t. “I don’t even know where I belong. This world doesn’t seem like home, you know? It’s why I don’t like talking about all of this.”
“This world…” you repeat. A heavy weight settles behind your ribs, an ache so intense you almost forget you’re not supposed to be sad; that you can’t allow yourself to be sad. “I feel the same way sometimes. The streets, the buildings… everything under the sun and even this flat. It all feels unfamiliar.”
Jungkook knows your detachment from the world must be different than his - but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easier for you. He nods along with your words, only answering when you’re done and chewing on your lips, “Yeah. But all of these things, they’re nothing you could’ve known. So I’m sorry I snapped like this, because… a sensitive topic doesn’t mean you deserve any anger.”
“I suppose you’re right,” you tell him with a small giggle, patting his shoulders jokingly, “lucky for you, I forgive pretty easily.”
Jungkook shakes his head with his trademark smirk, some of his hair strands falling into his eyes before he looks at you again and says with a nudge of your shoulder, “Lucky for you, I apologised at all. I’m pretty bad at that and usually just wait till it stops mattering.”
“Well, then it’s good you did it right away and didn’t stay silent for too long,” you tell him, lifting your finger between your faces as you add, “it’s like ripping off a bandage.”
He smacks his lips and pushes himself off the counter, hearing your footsteps behind him as he crouches in front of the chair to finish the last few steps. You’re just a person - but admittedly, a cute one. Someone he doesn’t want to get rid of just yet, an optimistic girl he wants to talk to about more and in-depth.
“My living room furniture and new mattress are coming today!” you tell him as you move to collect the trash lying around on the floor, already excited to see your apartment bloom. “Until then, we can go buy some plants and set them up if you’d like. I need something to share my carbon dioxide with.”
And again, you don’t fail to make him laugh at your stupid joke, his body feeling just a little lighter as he agrees while yours trembles and aches further; invisibly, silently.
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The white flowers in the garden are new to Jungkook. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen them before, the feeling of the petals between his fingers unfamiliar and somewhat daunting. If someone told him that they contain a type of poison blind to a human being’s eye, he would take them by their word.
But somehow, he still knows he’s somewhere he belongs - home. The cozy feeling and genuine smile on his face indicate that much. He’s close to walking away - in a direction he knows, to a goal he doesn’t know. He only takes one single step forward before a soothing voice breaks him out of his freeze, his gaze wandering over his shoulders carefully.
And when he sees her, his breath hitches for a second too long. She’s wearing a knee-length summer dress, her hair short and flowing in the pleasant afternoon wind as she calls his name again.
“They said it will take a few minutes still,” she tells him, coming closer with relaxed steps until she’s in a proximity near enough to place her small palm on his shoulder, “they’re grilling some more meat. What are you doing?”
Looking at her shoots a searing pain through his chest - his stomach drops and eyes water as he takes in her appearance from top to bottom. Then, he places his hand over hers while the other settles on her cheek, his voice so small as he says, “I know you.”
She laughs a bit, tilting her head in the way he knows he loves. Something tells him he adores it; can’t live without it. “Of course you do, you idiot,” she jokes with a breathtaking smile, the weakness in her expressions apparent but her beauty never fading. “Stop fooling around and let’s go.”
He wants to call out for her before a fog wraps around his mind, voices becoming distant and his consciousness pulling him out of the memory before she vanishes and his eyes open with a gasp tumbling out of his mouth.
Jungkook wakes up in his bed, bare torso covered in sweat and hair sticking to his forehead as he hastily looks around. The room is empty; the moonlight glowing outside his window. There is no garden - no girl to inflict pain on him or bring back nostalgia.
He’s alone, and all that flashes before his eyes to his own surprise is something, someone else… you.
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Stay there and don’t come in.
As he takes off his shoes, his lips move silently to the words written on the whiteboard before he halts his movements, mid-action. His foot slips into his boots again as he leans back against the wall, a faint shuffling in the living room catching his attention.
And then, you step out in a coffee coloured coat, holding something in your hands that you explain right the moment he recognises, “Do you want to go out and fly kites with me?”
It’s hard to say no anyway when you smile at him like that, happy about life and small things like on any other day as you step closer to him and hand him one of the thin-clothed objects. You know he won’t reject your offer; after all the conversations you’ve shared with him, you’ve figured out how to approach him to make him at least somewhat soft for you.
He likes you - enjoys spending time with you and being your friend; you’ve understood this much. And without giving it much of a thought, he proves it in the next moment when you take his hand in yours and feel his palm squeeze yours, grip it tighter.
“There’s no rain today,” you tell him as he laughs about your struggles to hold the kites in your hand. With a shake of his, he takes one of them from you, claiming it as his to play with. “There’s a small park near the church, so we can fly them there.”
“Where is this coming from so suddenly?” Jungkook asks, still holding your hand as you reach the park within a few minutes. The wind blows coldly for a moment and makes you shiver; he notices, but stays just as silent as you do. Sometimes, he wonders why you never admit your discomfort to him; instead you keep smiling and doing whatever your heart’s set on at the moment.
The park is still empty, but you know that in a bit, school will be over and children will flood the place with their giggles and daily life stories. Jungkook keeps asking you questions in his calmest voice, obviously trying to not let his coolness fall as you fiddle with the line and prepare everything that still needs preparation anyhow.
“Okay, stand with your back against the wind,” you order and hand him his bird kite. He follows your instructions without question and you signal him to step back from the hurdle that stands in front of you in the form of a tree.
“Don’t we need to run for it to fly properly?” Jungkook questions, staring back and forth from the line bar in his hands and to what your fingers are doing with your own. He mimics your actions as he holds the kite in his left hand carefully, and then launches it the moment you do.
“No,” you answer, focused on your blue and black butterfly that lifts itself to the sky slowly, “the wind is strong enough. Just need to hope it doesn’t start raining or storming.”
You look at him and his helpless state in amusement, closing the distance between you as you nod toward his bar. “Let it loose carefully. Let it roll until you think the kite is high enough, but keep some pressure on the line. Like this.”
Your hand loosens around your bar as you squint at the sky, watching the giant butterfly float freely and beautifully above you. As soon as Jungkook figures out the simple task, he executes it as well; and once he feels the tug of his bird, a surprising and overwhelming sense of euphoria strikes his insides within a miniscule, fleeting moment.
Similarly to him, the sudden flash of nostalgia you feel leaves a bittersweet taste on your tongue that both hurts and satisfies you deeply. Maybe you feel so happy because of the magical way the kite rises and dances in the wind; maybe it’s because you feel connected to the sky somehow; or maybe, it’s because it reminds you of flying a kite, learning how to ride a bike, dipping into deeper water for the first time.
And maybe, these reasons are all responsible for the slight ache inside you as well.
“This is amazing,” Jungkook confesses. You’re not looking at him, but you know he’s grinning, flashing his bunny teeth that, combined with the little mole, gives him an almost childlike look.
You smile with him, happier than ever to be the one bringing some sort of joy into his life. For a few minutes, you bask in the peace that floats in the atmosphere with the tiny particles of dust, some chuckles here, little words there breaking the pleasant silence. Then, you zero in on the kite and imagine yourself as a tiny, little fairy sitting on top of it, levitating and letting the freeing breeze tickle your scalp.
“Sometimes I wish I could fly like this,” you tell him. You’re absolutely positive he hasn’t heard through the howling of the fresh wind, but when you see his smile fall a little from the side of your eyes, you look at him softly. “Don’t you?”
His hands keep moving and hold the string tight, but his gaze soon unfocuses from his own kite to stare at you instead. He remembers early years when he’d thought that his wings would grow with his age and turn out to be powerful and functioning; a ten year old wouldn’t reckon without any proof that they’d stay broken and dark. Serving as nothing more but hollow decoration.
Since he’s learned that his angelness is nothing but a galactic joke, he’s stopped thinking about floating under and above clouds; he’s stopped dreaming about touching the sun and catching the moon and the stars. Until now, that is.
Because he knows you’re someone who craves the sky with your head high above, crossing the stratosphere by miles while you’re painfully even more human than he is. The shimmer in your eyes tells him that you know, but that you can’t help but dream nevertheless.
“I think…” he says, lost in your squinting eyes as the wind brings a burning sensation to them. He tilts his head and watches you mimic his actions with a gentle, affectionate smile. “I think I’ve realised that staying on the ground might just sometimes be better.”
The joy in your pupils and the upward twitching of your lips throws him off guard way too often. It’s a subtle feeling residing deep within his chest; something strange that he can’t define just yet, but an ache strong enough to push away to his best abilities.
He doesn’t want you to look at him like this.
Differently from him, you want him to keep staring at you like this; a cautious look that tells you his attention for the task at hand is faltering just as much as yours. If anyone saw what you’re seeing - the sparkle in his dark eyes, his mouth slightly apart and the wind blowing his raven hair into his face - they would understand why.
“You…” you begin, fondness filling your heart - but then, you feel a tug at your heartstrings before you feel it at the string of your kite, your head shooting into the air in warning. You see branches of the maple tree in front of you take your kite captive, caging it in a way that makes you realise that you have to be careful to not tear the thin material into several pieces.
You bite your lip as you try to free it from the tree’s relentless grip, Jungkook’s body nearing yours to watch your miserable, failing attempt to execute your carefully thought out plan. And right when you think you’re about to somehow, inexplicably succeed, the wind carries the sound of fabric ripping to your ears and elicits a groan out of you in frustration.
“Of course that would happen to me,” you say, tugging some more at the line, more carelessly now until the kite escapes the maple tree’s red clutches and falls to the ground in sad, slow motions. You laugh lightly, walking over to the dead object before you kneel and add, “Never thought I’d end up being a kite murderer.”
You place a palm against the wood of the tree as you hold your balance, hearing Jungkook’s footsteps break the crunchy leaves until he joins you on the ground. To your surprise, he takes the destroyed object from your hands, falling on his butt and leaning against the tree before he states, “How did you manage to ruin a kite?”
You pout at him, hissing when you fall next to him and onto the long material of your coat. “Hey, I’ve been flying kites for years and this…” You eye the tear in the nylon, furrowing your eyebrows. “...happened for the first time ever. That’s just sad.”
Jungkook’s inspecting the kite as if his glare can make it whole again. But you’re endeared by anything he does as you look at him through rose-tinted, imagined glasses. Even now, you watch his skilled, veiny hands fiddle with the damage, trying to repair it God knows how as you shake your head.
“I’m an idiot. Imagine destroying something that other people use for years without problems,” you say, pulling your legs to your torso and placing your cheek on your knees. You smile at him the moment he smirks teasingly, but the smile soon morphs into a chuckle when he demolishes the kite even further.
“Don’t worry about it. If you hadn’t, then I definitely would’ve broken my kite somehow,” he declares, playfully nudging your shoulder with his. You see the way he gulps - see his Adam’s apple move as he does so before he adds timidly, “I’ve never done this before.”
You gasp at his words, suddenly remembering the initial struggle he went through only minutes ago. Now, things begin to make sense. With a shocked voice and expanding eyes, you say, “Kite flying? In your twenty-four years, you haven’t done it once?”
Jungkook shakes his head, a type of melancholy coming over his features that has your smile already falling before he begins to explain, “I spent falls and winters at home, because my foster parents would tell me I’d get sick if I played outside too much.”
He  shrugs his shoulders, looking at you for another second before his face sinks to examine the kite further. “Then they’d proceed to warn me to take care of myself while they ran some errands. But in reality, they’d be out there, enjoying the world with their actual kids. And I’d only hear about it later.”
The silence that follows his words is a little louder than it should be; not necessarily awkward, but dimming the brightness of the afternoon nevertheless. You hate that full adults can scar a child enough for him to remember an emotion or happening his remaining life. You genuinely doubt that someone like Jungkook deserves the treatment he went through or the sorrow he still seems to feel.
“And now?” you ask, your left hand settling on his in empathy and stilling his movements.
“And now…”
“Do you think flying your first kite with me made up for it?”
He looks down at you, your eyelashes brushing your cheeks as you let your eyelids flutter shut and your nose scrunching slightly as you take in the scent of the season. You tremble again in the shadow of the tree, the sky always so grey and the sun hiding its soothing warmth. Jungkook’s body shifts closer almost unconsciously, his hand twitching to reach out for yours but refraining for some unknown reason.
Something in him wants to spoil and pamper you despite being the one to pour out his heart to you. He wants to engulf you in his warmth and let you know that it’s okay to sometimes admit that the world isn’t treating you well. Even if it’s about something as simple as the cold that the October day entails.
You never stop smiling - and he wants you to know that it’s alright to let your heart fall sometimes.
He bites the inside of his cheek with a weird, giddy feeling before he nods and says, “I think it does. And… maybe it’s better to experience some things late than never, right?” You nod along, taking a deep breath to fill your lungs with the fresh and crisp oxygen in the park. “Instead of dwelling on what could have been or what someone said or did when life was still… unkind.”
That’s when you drag his fingers away from the kite and stop his attempt to repair something that’s already broken, intertwining them with yours again and soaking in his warmth. “You can stop now,” you let him know, leaning in closer into him, “it’s okay. I got to fly it for a moment at least.”
Jungkook swallows the knot in his throat; blends out the sound of children running around and concentrates on his beating, alive, kind of mortal heart instead. Being a human isn’t that bad when he gets to be one with you by his side.
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Jungkook grows fond of your little messages fast.
Sometimes, you tell him to wait in the hallway, having already planned a small outing that would only be delayed if you allowed him to step into your living room for even a second. You love his presence in your rooms, talking to him in peace and alone as you take in his mesmerising beauty and breathe in every word he utters.
Just a few days ago, you’d drawn muffins on the whiteboard, and it didn’t take long for him to understand and drool over the fact that you’d, for the first time, tried the abilities of your oven. Just yesterday, you’d written a stupid pun with the word casserole on it, a joke he was sure had made you laugh while putting it onto the board.
Somehow, he’s found himself visiting you just for your company. Your apartment is done and ready, your furniture fitting your pretty aesthetics and the work long over. But you’ve become actual friends - something so much more than you’d initially planned, expected or hoped for.
You love that he suggests coming over without you asking much; in return, you spoil him with lunch or dinner - occasionally baked goods that he devours eagerly, much to your pleasure. As you study together or go out for a refreshing walk, time passes faster than you want it to, everything in you wishing for the hands on the clock to stop while enjoying his friendship nonetheless.
For some reason, you never step foot into his place. You don’t ask why and you don’t care much either. All you know is that as long as he’s ready to give you even a second of his day, you won’t push your luck or unnecessarily question the things in his life anymore. Because all you see is his figure anyway. His movements, his gestures, his smile that never shows itself as prominently in class or with anyone else as it does with you.
And when you feel yourself falling harder for him, your body starts burning up so intensely that you begin to suffocate.
When Jungkook enters your apartment today with the same featherlight feeling coursing through him as usual, he doesn’t expect his lips to fall this soon. Because as he stares at the whiteboard in the habit he’s developed, his eyebrows pull together, mouth moving as he reads the words written on it.
I need to tell you something.
Ridding his feet off his shoes, he finds you at the same spot at which you always wait for him after opening the door: your legs pulled and crossed, an arm draped over your couch and eyes staring out the window and at the grey clouds.
“Hey,” he greets, placing the Thai food in the bag he bought for you both on the table before he adds, “are you okay?”
“I am. Hi,” you assure, shifting to stretch your legs as you fiddle with the straps hanging from your pajama pants. “Are you, too?”
“Yeah. All good.”
The awkwardness hanging in the air is inexplicably strange, even without you telling him what he needs to know. You gulp as you try to think of what to say, merely watching him take a seat in front of you and fold his fingers as he finally asks, “What’s wrong? What do you need to tell me?”
It’s a delicate thing, love. Makes you vulnerable and delirious, the world so pink but then so dark; so satisfying but so terrifying; a dichotomy just waiting to infiltrate innocent minds until they’re left questioning. But you don’t want to question anymore - you want certainty, knowledge. Want his affection, need his reciprocation or rejection.
And with a final push and draw of a deep breath, you bury your nails into your palm, not backing away anymore before you admit, “I’m in love with you, Jungkook.”
You’re prepared to see his eyes go wide. For his demeanor to change, for his stance to shift. He does all that and you can’t say you’re surprised. But what you didn’t want, what you still try to deal with now despite only moments passing, is silence. And he gives you an abundance of it.
His stare drops to the floor, mouth apart and his lower lip jutting out as he processes your confession and the authenticity you laced your words with. Your heart pounds against your ribcage violently, threatening to explode as you try to find your breath and ask daringly, “Are yo- do you feel the same for me?”
He closes his eyes for a moment, bringing his fingers up to rub his eyelids before he opens them again and looks at you. His sight is blurred from his ministration, and he doesn’t see your chest heave, his gaze answering your question clearly before he ultimately mutters, “No.” And your heart shatters eventually. “I don’t.”
Love decides to go the dark and terrifying route - the dichotomy becomes a single, obvious revelation as you look into his eyes. You think you see guilt in them. Maybe even pain. But you know that, for him, all of this will stop mattering very soon while you’ll be left in shambles; a lovesick fool looking for something more in someone who seemed distant from the beginning.
“Okay,” you say, your voice breaking slightly, “I just wanted you to know.”
He nods as if to say thank you; in reality, the wish to rewind time and stop you from confessing anyhow lingers strongly inside him. Both of you don’t know how to get out of this situation and how to proceed - but as your curiosity wins over, you clear your throat, despite everything still inquiring, “Can I just… ask why not?”
Jungkook hoped you wouldn’t ask. Because now that you did, he’s forced to look into his heart again, figuring out why his words seem so ingenuine; so much like he’s trying to save himself. And yet, he sighs, pressing his lips together before releasing them and stating, “I don’t know. I can’t control that.”
“What can I do for you to… I don’t know. Feel the same?” you ask, your question so innocent and wrapped in a gentle tone, but the pressure it puts on him still drowning him enough to grow impatient by just a bit too much.
“I can’t do love.”
“You… you can’t?”
“I can’t,” he repeats, shaking his head with a clenched jaw. “It’s just something I don’t know how to do. I don’t know how it feels, it just-”
“But,” you interrupt, the urge to beg growing and the pathetic feelings returning, “isn’t it possible to give me a chance? Just to prove to you someh-”
“No,” he interjects, cutting your words as he notices your waterline dampen, “I’m not in love with you. And I can’t love you.” He silently tells himself to shut up. This feels wrong. “I’m sorry and I know you don’t want to hear it. But I won’t lie to you, and I just can’t fall in love with you… Y/N. Okay?”
But how true is his statement in reality?
You think it will hurt worse later. Right now, his words are just echoing through your mind, hardly registering what he’s said but crystal clear at the same time. It’s okay, you think. At least for now, the pain is bearable; what you’re scared of is later - the moment he’ll be gone and out of your reach.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers again, brushing his inked hand through his soft, black hair. He bites into his lower lip, his little mole so sweet that it seems to mock you. And then, he stands, throws you one last apologetic look, visibly taking a deep breath and clenching his hands into fists until his knuckles turn white.
You don’t know how affected he truly is, but contrary to your beliefs from a second ago, at least something about this situation doesn’t leave him heartless or numb. And yet, he breaks eye contact with you soon, walking out of the room as you focus on the food he’s brought; the food you’re sure you’ll probably barely touch.
When you hear the door fall into its lock, you bury your face in your hands, heartbroken, alone and in love.
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Since walking away, all Jungkook’s thoughts ever circle around is your face. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the expression you wore when he left you sitting at the window or a feeling he’s still trying to push away vehemently. It’s you, you, always just you.
And bearing in mind that your voice hasn’t left his memories since your last conversation, Jungkook is sure right now that he’s dreaming again.
The body he’s holding in his, swaying gently in circles, isn’t one he’s familiar with anymore. It seems distant now, like she’s someone he used to know. Her cheeks lay on his shoulder softly, arms wrapped around his neck as he takes a glance at her eyes. They reflect the fire in the chimney until Jungkook turns further in the circle, careful not to step onto her feet.
He thinks he knows the song that’s playing in the background - one of her favourite albums from the decade. For some reason, he knows she acquired it just the day before, a vinyl she showed him in excitement and anticipation.
“Ari,” he whispers softly, something in his mind clicking as he remembers her name. She looks up at him, his hands trailing from her hips to her waist and causing a brief shiver that covers her skin in goosebumps.
She’s so beautiful in the golden glow of the fire; how does he not know her properly anymore? How did he let someone like her go from his life and his memory?
One of her hands grazes the nape of his neck until it’s cradling his cheek, a raise of her eyebrows asking silently what’s on his mind tonight. For her, things are happening in real time, a date with the man who’s in love with her unconditionally - but for him, she’s a painful memory he knows nothing about but the name.
But he feels that she’s more than that. The searing ache in his chest and the way his heart pounds indicate this much, the twitching of his fingers and the urge to hold her closer to his warmth oh-so-telling.
“I feel like I’ve been looking for you,” he tells her in a hushed tone, tears blurring his sight but not enough to miss her breathtaking smile. “Are you going to stay?”
Ari pulls him closer to her lips, brushing her nose against his before she tells him with sadness in her gaze, heart falling, “No. I’m not.”
And then, she kisses him; a soft, chaste touch, barely feeling the plush pillows of his lips, but the hand squeezing her hips all the more instead. In a moment, the kiss fades again, and when he opens his eyes to look at her, her face has changed. The expression is the same, but the features are not - enthusiastic, loving eyes stare back at him, and he can’t help but fall just a little.
He brushes your hair back tenderly, looks in the depths of your pupils before his palm holds your face the way yours holds his. There’s nothing you have to say to him; you just stare, tilting your head and wiping his tears as he says, “Y/N…” He shakes his head slowly, gulping before he adds, “Why can’t I stop thinking of you?” 
“Maybe…” you start, his dream self of you so much calmer than in real life while his body runs dry on liquid, “maybe I’m here, so you can tell me something that you can’t when I’m… actually with you.”
“How do I do that? It fucking scares me, Y/N.” His voice is desperate and devastated, and something about your presence here tells him that all of this is a bad omen. It shouldn’t happen or signal a horrifying occurrence ahead, even if it’s just something his mind has fabricated to toy with him.
“Just let yourself feel. Just for once.”
Jungkook wants to tell you that he doesn’t know how - after the darkness he’s gotten used to, feelings and emotions have become a far-away phenomenon. He doesn’t know how to feel or how to give in, the answer so infinitely distant until he opens his eyes.
Because when he wakes up in his dark room yet again, panting and crying, everything becomes more vivid and sharp, the answer taking your shape and form until…
Feelings become the easiest thing he’s ever given in to.
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Saturdays are calm and serene where you live. The church near your place stands directly next to a park, the area in front of it empty except for the benches forming a half circle. With the playground in the park, one would think that the area should be crowded and filled with screaming children; but for some reason, you’ve never seen many people walking around except for Sunday prayer.
Leaned back, you uncross your legs as you bury your hands in the pockets of your jacket, watching the doves in front of you fight for the last of bread crumbs laying on the concrete floor. Around them, small drops of rain start to fall, the sky yet again darkening sooner than it should.
Autumn shows its colours as the clouds grow gloomy and grey, and the faint chirping of birds along with the leaves falling steadily gives you the Halloween feeling that every October brings. You look forward to it every year - somewhat of a sucker for everything spooky and fun as much as for flowers and poetry in spring.
But this time, your mood drops with the temperature, and you wonder if your ache will come to an eventual end today when he arrives. In all honesty, you would understand if he doesn’t. The message to meet you here was sent by you in a haze and tears, your trembling fingers dropping the phone the moment the message became impossible to take back.
You still curse yourself for ruining the high you thought you’d never come down from when he was still here and spending time with you. Something in you knew you’d build a thick and deep crack in your relationship once you admitted your true feelings to him, but somehow, keeping them in felt more unbearable.
As you wait for his hoped arrival, your eyes wander from the birds to the clouds, drops falling on your face so gently that you barely notice them. And when you look at the doves again, you see one of them limping, hopping away from the rest of its fellow species as it gives up on the hunt for some food.
Your eyebrows furrow in empathy, the injury of the little animal saddening you before you get on your feet and try to step closer. You know there’s a chance it might not enjoy your company much - but you want to inspect the wound, distract yourself somehow from your own scars that haven’t healed but worsened in the last days.
But you can’t do anything for the dove anyway; not even kneel before it to take a look - not when the world suddenly starts spinning and your body sways dangerously. Your sight becomes blurred for only a moment before darkness swallows you whole.
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Jungkook’s mind goes through every possible scenario when the ringing of the church bells grows louder, indicating the full evening hour that you told him to meet at. He can’t remember the last time he felt this obnoxiously nervous; and when he sees the benches empty, his mind fills with a dozen different emotions - because on one hand, he isn’t ready to face you just yet.
But then again, he needs to.
It’s only when he steps closer that the confusion gives way to a clear, haunting fear, the still body on the ground half curled into itself, cheeks pressing against the cement. He didn’t expect to meet your form like this; this is a lot worse than what he imagined on his way here.
His legs sprint faster to you than his thoughts can take form, kneeling in front of your face and lifting your head to his lap. Two fingers wander to your pulse, and when the steady but slow beat registers in his mind, a voice begins to scream at him to call the ambulance before he starts to lose his sanity entirely.
Shivering on his knees, rain drops fall on his phone screen as he dials the number with trembling fingers, explaining the situation with panic in his voice while he tries to shake you awake. The woman on the other end promises to hurry, but he still nearly yells that you need help, repeating the sentence until the phone falls from his hand to the ground.
“What the fuck happened? Y/N?” he begs, shaking you, holding you, his volume growing louder but to no avail. “Say something. Wake up. Y/N...”
He doesn’t know when tears and rain start to fall on your face at once, doesn’t know what is what - just as less as he notices the sirens of the ambulance blare in the background. He doesn’t realise that he’s reached the hospital until the smell of medicine and sickness fills his nose. His body walks up and down the hallway almost numbly, the door to your room never opening - that is, until it does.
Jungkook registers the words of the doctor uttered to him just faintly; he can barely hear over the ringing and beeping in his ears. The urge to fast forward becomes unbearable as the professional in front of him explains that he wouldn’t usually let anyone but family near the patient.
But he sees the genuine worry in Jungkook’s eyes, along with the unfiltered, raw affection. Some more words and apologies fall out of his mouth, and Jungkook only listens, shifting from one leg to another as he waits for the verdict, for an explanation.
Consternation, worry and fright turn to absolute horror when the doctor finally decides to tell him what’s wrong with you, and Jungkook nearly falls to his knees when he hears the menacing words. He was hoping for you to be dehydrated - or undernourished.
But not this.
Her lungs are failing.
She must have told you, but this terminal illness won’t make her last long.
You called on time. She’ll wake up soon… but I’m so sorry.
Not this.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jungkook blurts, looking past the uniformed man and at the door, trying desperately to turn the wood into glass to see your face again.
“She’s sick,” the man repeats, placing a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder that the latter tries hard not to shake off again. He’s just doing his job - trying to save you. “Do you want to go inside? She’s unconscious right now, thou-”
“I want to,” Jungkook interrupts, his head bursting and stomach turning; pain piercing his heart like an arrow and twisting the organ thoroughly. “Please…”
The doctor nods slowly, taking a deep breath as he looks at Jungkook’s red eyes once more before he lets him pass and almost rip the door open.
Jungkook’s body trembles when he steps foot in the dark room, only illuminated by the bright light the doctors have switched on for you over your head. He sees your nails first. They’re painted a deep lilac, one of your soft hands resting by your side and the other on your stomach. Your eyes are closed and your chest falling and rising steadily, your mouth covered with an oxygen mask.
He’s never seen you this quiet - and it scares him. Something in him thinks that you’ll wake up in a minute, look at him with wide eyes and babble about a cat or dog or bunny you patted today. But you do none of it; instead, you just take shallow breaths, the hospital wear too ugly, unworthy and colourless for your bright personality.
Jungkook pulls the chair from the small table by the window to your bed, taking a seat quietly while the knot in his throat grows larger. He takes your hand from your side into his, squeezing lightly as he listens to the beeping of the machines and the sound of your breathing that the mask enhances.
Somehow, he hopes his thoughts flow through his hands into yours in an invisible current, slowly but surely reaching your brain and telling you what he really feels. That everything he said to you was a lie - one that he didn’t tell you but himself all along.
But you don’t budge. Not when he starts sobbing. Not when he leans forward and places his head next to yours. Not even when his tears transfer onto your skin. And the agony merely grows further.
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You only wake up hours later, the sky starting to indicate dawn in reds and yellows and the body next to you snoring quietly. You wonder how he managed to stay here without the doctors kicking him out - and then you wonder how long he’s already been sitting on this chair, watching you until sleep washed over him eventually.
When your limbs twitch, his eyes flutter open in an instant, the loosened grip around your hand tightening again. You can see clearly how dry his face and how red his waterline appear, and you want to kiss his sorrows away that you must have caused in one way or another.
“Hey,” you whisper into the silent room before you try to sit straight.
His hands push you down gently again, a concerned voice warning, “What are you doing? Don’t move… stay put.”
You chuckle a little, getting rid of the annoying oxygen mask while his eyes open wide - but before he can scold you further, you assure, “It’s okay. I can take it off now. This is not my first time here…”
Your words hurt in a way that Jungkook didn’t expect a few weeks ago when your pen had rolled over to his side of the table. When you still sat next to him healthy and smiling, randomly blurting that you needed help with an apartment he had no attachment to yet. Why the universe and Heaven signalled him about his feelings just now is baffling to him; almost like a superior power is trying to keep him away from love and joy… from you.
“Why did you never tell me?” he asks with a shaky voice that tells you immediately that Jungkook houses care for you that he couldn’t admit a few days ago. Back when he left you in loneliness and with a breaking heart that feels too weak now to shatter further.
Maybe you didn’t tell him, because you didn’t want him to be with you out of pity - and maybe you were just avoiding death and sorrow as you ignored your state of terminal illness that had a destination that you would reach one day undoubtedly.
Yes, perhaps it’s all these mainstream reasons and the usual blah-blah that you see on TV; but in reality, you know there’s something else, too, something way less significant but a reason for the secrecy nevertheless.
“I just wanted to fall in love with you more,” you admit, reading the unspoken words and questions in his eyes as you continue, “just anything to feel alive. I asked for your company when the pain was bearable… almost not there. And I… being the idiot that I am… just wanted to be selfish and feel true love once before I go.”
There’s no cure for you. Nothing to save you from the inevitable end that awaits you at the end of the daunting and dark tunnel; no amount of tears and fear can make your lungs run properly again. With the hole in your chest, you tell him, “And I didn’t want to scare you off either. I thought you’d leave easily. I just didn’t expect that you’d ever reciprocate whatever I’ve become attached to when it comes to you.”
He listens attentively; but he doesn’t need to say a word anyway as tears begin spilling again - just that you don’t know that they’re a recurring sensation. For you, the picture of him crying is a brand new one, something you couldn’t have imagined in your wildest dream. You thought he got emotional, sitting here, watching you die slowly - but you didn’t expect tears.
“Jungkook,” you say affectionately, attempting to calm him to your best abilities. But somehow, his name in your voice only breaks his peace more, gut-wrenching sobs filling the disinfection-scented room to your utter surprise. “Hey.” You lift his chin, meet his tired and pained eyes, pulling him closer. “Don’t worry. I can still bother you for a few months.”
He shakes his head as if to rid his mind of all thoughts, his body shaking and face twisting as he says, “Don’t say that.” His hand comes forward to settle under your ear, his warm thumb grazing your cheek. “I just… need you to stay silent for a moment. To just pretend that’s not true?”
As you nod, your heartbeat accelerates and your breath hitches, something you notice almost as palpable as the struggles your disease brings. You let him look at you in the most crushing way someone has ever stared at you; let him caress the skin of your face as his eyes shoot from one spot to another.
Then, he confesses, “I’m fucking arrogant. And a pessimistic idiot. I don’t deserve your forgiveness and your understanding, and you certainly don’t deserve to feel like shit because of a moron like me.” He pauses, sniffles, takes a deep breath before he adds, “But most of all, I’m blind.”
Despite your romantic approach in life and your head being in the clouds constantly, you’ve never experienced true love before. 
The giddy feeling in your chest and constant shifting of your thoughts have never infiltrated your body until you grew fond of Jungkook and his presence. And now it seems so inescapable that you wonder if this strange hurricane of emotions will ever calm down; probably not if he keeps coming closer like he is now.
But when he closes his eyes and tilts his head in slow motion, you dispel every thought relating to the doom that your relationship will be in, and revel in the feeling of his soft lips instead. Time stands still just like your heart when he begins to move his mouth against yours, your tears mingling and your breaths melding as you relish his taste and affection.
The kiss stops almost the moment it begins, your head still spinning when he pulls back carefully. He places a cautious peck on your nose, intertwining his fingers with your trembling ones. The palm on your cheek wanders to your hair, brushing it back and stroking your tresses as he says, “I’m so sorry.”
Remorse and apologies don’t seem enough to make up for the pain he caused you; but you give in anyway. While doubts emerge somewhere in the back of your mind, you hope profoundly for Jungkook to shred them with time, words, touches and reassurances. You’re too blind and in love to brush away his affection anyway.
He keeps his inked fingers in your hair, memorising each patch of your face while he admits, “What idiot would not fall for you?” Your eyes lower when his palm comes down to cover your cheek, and then he leans forward again, his nose brushing against yours as he carries on, “I might be one, too. But not that big of an idiot.”
With another shaky sigh, he apologises again, your following smile so striking that even blinking and looking away starts to feel like an impossible task to him.
Your voice turns to honey and your expression lightens up, and as you pull him closer to your lips again, you whisper, “Lucky for you, I forgive pretty easily.”
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It’s getting late and the world’s growing dark outside. He’s still with you when your eyes start to droop and your body relaxes in his touch as you watch the credits of the thriller roll in.
Jungkook’s presence has started feeling different; like he’s protecting you from an invisible force that he has no power over whatsoever. After the kiss you shared on the hospital bed, inhibitions faded away and gave way to clear feelings he’d kept at bay so well. Surrendering seems simpler now, like there’s nowhere else he has to be; like there’s nothing else he’s supposed to do but be here with you.
“Are you tired?” he asks as your head drops further to his chest; but it shoots up again as you hear his voice vibrate against your cheek, your head missing his chin just by inches.
You brush your hair back from your face, fingers rubbing over your eyes before you nod and say, “A little.”
“How do you feel, pretty girl?” His digits settle under your chin and his thumb grazes your dry lower lip softly, a smile plastering his TV-lit face that causes your breath to hitch every single time you stare into his glimmering eyes.
The endearing term elicits a small giggle out of you as you grip his white, plain shirt tightly; but then you sigh, energy drained and vanishing as you admit, “Not so great, I think.”
You’ve barely uttered the last word before he frees himself from your embrace and lifts his body lightly, assuring you that, “I’ll be back in a second. Gonna get the oxygen tank-”
“No,” you interrupt, pulling him down again and pressing him against the back of the couch, “don’t, it’s… not that. Not my lungs.”
When he swallows the lump in his throat, you hear it clearly, the credits music stilling and the  screen going back to the menu before the scary yet pleasant piano tones start playing again. You look past him to think what you want him to know and what you want to ask in return; but your mind blanks with the fear that the questions flood you with.
You know he sees the hesitation in the way you nibble at your lips and bore your nails into the fabric of his shirt further, and when your eyes refuse to blink for one moment too long, he orders softly, “Look at me, Y/N.”
And when you do, your heart sinks further, falling into the pit of your stomach with the myriad of thoughts and emotions filling your mind and chest. You love the fondness in his stare - but you hate the harrowing grief and worry that accompanies it. Despite feeling safe in his arms and wanting to run back to him whenever you see him walk away, you feel selfish.
Almost as though you’re doing something preventable, if only you had the strength to abandon your reckless acts.
The guilt drags you down heavily, sitting on your shoulder like a weight impossible to lift as you say, “I’m sick, Jungkook.”
Breathing becomes hard for a moment when he registers your words and lets them sink in yet again. Every string of his heart that you pull at when you remind him of the truth aches, despite his constant attempts to ignore the inescapable reality. Instead, he chooses to spend all his time with you; chooses to read every single wish from your lips before you can utter it.
“I know.” His voice is quiet and controlled but close to reaching its limit of calmness as you shift on your seat. When your expression darkens, he understands immediately what you’re about to say; the one thing he sees written in your eyes more often than he’d like… something that has clearly been pulling your mind into depths since he kissed you for the first time.
“I don’t want you to feel like you need to stay bec-”
And with an answer already prepared, he interrupts, “It’s not that.” Jungkook’s hands cradle your face, pull it closer to his, lips ghosting over yours and eyes staring into the surprise of yours. “I promise it’s not.”
“I’m just-” you start, covering his fingers under your ears with yours, “so scared you might run away when I start to feel better again.”
Your worries and statements are destructive in the most crucial way when he thinks of the realistic conclusion your doctors gave you - because according to them, you won’t get better again.
Jungkook doesn’t say it out loud. But he does imagine how days and moments would play out if you were okay; running around, worriless about the capacity of your lungs to store air and their ability to function without struggles. He imagines you flying more kites, jumping from cliffs and into the water, accompanying him to places you both have never been - because he wants to show you.
Everything the world has to offer - he wants to take you to each restaurant in town, dive into deep blue oceans, let you pat grinning dolphins, because you never stop talking about them and the fondness you hold for them. He wants to take your pain. Take it all away.
Jungkook wants to… and for him, it’s proof enough to stay, no matter the good or bad days. Longs to show you that he means his affection, that he’s not lying and that he needs you with him, by his side, in his embrace, in his proximity, right here.
“I’m not going to run away. Not from you,” he assures, leaning his forehead against yours before he gives you a gentle, breathless kiss as tears start escaping that your cheek catches for him. The realisation that leaving your side might ruin him dawns on him with his blood boiling; and yet, you spill another question.
“Don’t you think it’d be better for you in the long run to seek happiness somewhere else than… in the weak body that I am?”
If he was you, he’d probably think and say the same things - but still, he can’t let the conversation advance in your favour, because none of it will come close to what he truly wants. He doesn’t-
“I don’t want happiness if it’s without you.” He’d rather drown with you if it means he can fall for you deeper, cherish your whole being for as long as your lungs and heart allow. “Let me stay… okay?”
He kisses you again, the movements of his lips a little more impatient and fervent than before as his fingers tangle in your hair. The gentle force of his kiss pushes your body back until you fall onto the cushion with a sharp gasp that he swallows in the same moment it escapes.
His torso ghosts over yours with a brushing touch and his hot tongue finds yours as he matches the small, sweet moan leaving your throat. Engrossed in what you make him feel, he forgets time and space, ignores that he has an early class the next morning that you won’t attend, because you already finished it last semester. He doesn’t want to think of your absence though; wants to wrap your legs around his waist instead.
Jungkook’s delicate lips always know what to do against yours - he’s a tender kisser, gathering all his emotions and manifesting them in the form of his movements that you never get enough of. Jungkook’s a focused kisser, everything around him fading until you’re the only shape he sees, your breathing and voice enrapturing him.
And most prominently, Jungkook’s an attentive and careful kisser - one to leave your lips to let you breathe; one who’ll shift his attention elsewhere instead when he feels your breathing stagnate. He knows you’d tell him too late; when your lungs are burning and your body begging for a break. So in your stead, he learns to understand your limits, lips trailing to your neck instead and planting soft, loving pecks on your flaming skin.
Damned be eternal life. Damned be Heaven and angels and wings and sinning and falling. Nothing up there could dare to compare to the celestial and seraphic glow you exude, and no angelic existence will ever seem as real and palpable as you. You who deserve to be the creature floating above clouds instead of him - instead of anyone.
How are you more angel than him despite being so earthly and ephemeral?
Million reasons to give you up can be ignored through the aid of blinding love, and he’s ready to fight them all - illness or not.
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The more time passes, the more Jungkook realises that his mysterious dreams are linked to you and are anything but coincidental. Not even dreams, as he’s finally understood, but memories - that is what the flashing scenes are. Real occurrences, not illusions. And little by little, the pictures and faces become clearer when he feels his mind slip into a long passed memory again.
He starts to remember names and gardens; sees the roses that seem healthier, more vibrant and nourished and beautiful than any he’s ever seen. Tonight, he doesn’t turn around to meet the familiar face of the stranger he calls Ari - instead, he hears the melodious tone of someone he thinks he used to call a friend; a best friend even.
“They have flowers where you’re going, too,” she tells him, sitting down at the edge of the fancy marble fountain in the small, fairytale-like garden. “The roses you’re looking at are actually inspired by those down there. But you know… enhanced so that they bloom at all times and all…”
She stops talking when she realises that Jungkook is lost in his own world, touching the thorns subtly to make sure all of this is real - even if it’s not his physical body that’s standing here in this moment. But now as it happens again, he remembers the day; even knows that he said the exact same thing the last time as he will now.
“Alyanna,” he starts, whispering but his voice still louder than the chirping of the artificial birds, “why could they not let her soul ascend?”
The girl crosses one leg over the other as her head falls to the ground - there’s no doubt that his absence will affect her in a way that won’t be reciprocated, but what more can she do but give him soft reassurances that life will restore itself again?
With a deep sigh, she opens her mouth again, finally meeting his eyes when he turns around before she says, “Meddling in human business lets a soul wander on. Not ascend to Heaven or descend to Hell. They told you, Jungkook.”
He wants to let the sobs escape, but for some strange reason, his body feels empty and his chest numb. As though his own soul is slipping away and falling already, taking more and more of his emotions and warmth. Even the cool, fresh air feels more humid than his freezing skin.
“How much time is still left?”
Alyanna takes a deep breath as she lets the words of the council repeat in her mind again, a stabbing pain accompanying the memory as she answers with affliction in her voice, “Five hours.”
By now, Jungkook’s body moves on its own accord, much like the words that he mutters in the quiet of the bright day. Until now, his dream selves seemed confused, looking around, asking questions; but in this instant, everything appears to follow a natural flow that he has no control over but to experience and endure like a bird watching from above.
“What if I don’t find her again?” he asks, closing his eyes before he lets himself fall on the grass, sitting cross-legged, with his fingers intertwined and arms leaning on his thighs. The council told him that true love and revelations awaited him when his soul felt ready for it. His mind would get wiped clean except for the fact that he fell for some reason or the other.
“All of this is… planned in a way that you will.” Her lovely, little words are supposed to be encouraging. But when a heart shatters, encouragement always seems partly effective, pain growing gradually and overshadowing everything else. “But it will hurt.”
It will hurt.
They told him the same thing. Afterlife would pain, is what they warned him of. It would test and break him and leave him with struggles he will find impossible to solve. He faintly remembers that they told him to endure whatever human life might throw at him - he doesn’t know for sure, can’t really say anything with certainty when all he could think of was Ari’s name over and over again.
Now, the word has become a silent mantra in the back of his mind that keeps repeating like a prayer. And suddenly, five hours seem too long - he wants to forget the pain and he wants her back; he wants to hear all the crazy things she said and her fingers wrapped around his palm. But she’s gone.
Why is she gone?
Despite any memory, he still cannot decipher how he got here in the first place; but the strong, sick feeling in his chest tells him he might find out soon. For now, he stares into his best friend’s brown eyes, her dark hair fluttering in the wind as he asks, “It’s not going to be Ari, right?”
How is he supposed to break any ban and curse by finding true love, if his true love has left him alone in the blank and vast universe? The stars, moon, planets and solar systems stretch so much wider now that they’re devoid of her, and he doesn’t know how he’ll manage to restore his faith in affection again when none of the faces is going to be her.
“No… and yes,” Alyanna answers, standing to come closer and pat the man who towers over her on his lean, trembling shoulder. He closes his eyes, inhales a deep breath and listens. “It’ll make sense once you get there, Jungkook.”
And then, the light of the sky disappears and darkness restricts his vision again. When Jungkook opens his eyes this time, he does so with the same numbness his past self closed them with - tonight, he doesn’t cry or sweat or panic with the moonlight drenching his room in a silver glow.
Tonight, he realises that despite the fact that his mind never allowed him to love, he’s fought it with success - falling deeper into you than the angel in Heaven would’ve ever expected.
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When the pain becomes bearable in the way it behaved before you’d broken down, you decide to use the days to try something entirely new with Jungkook. Your college cancels classes for a whole week when December approaches; your town has always been enthusiastic about the tumult that people find themselves in when the festive season comes closer.
And now more than ever, you’re happy for the strange tradition of closing schools and the welcomed distraction, your mind way too busy and occupied anyway to sit down and scribble notes in a boring lecture.
You tell Jungkook you want to rent a cabin in the woods - not necessarily to go for an exhausting hike or to collect edible mushrooms to cook soup in the evening. But more to merely walk to a clearing with his hand in yours before finding a spot to watch the stars twinkle, engulfed in his warmth. Somewhere where they glint as brightly as his eyes and don’t fade because of the thousands of city lights.
With the smile you shoot at him when you lay your plan on the table, Jungkook finds himself giving in immediately, the light around you growing brighter once more before you fall into his arms with your usual enthusiasm. The little things you love that bring so much joy to you are what let your grin be plastered on your face, shielding you from sadness despite everything you’re going through.
The day you stand in front of the wooden, small cottage, rented with the help of a college friend you know, you step in with a fascinated expression, your fingers clutching the boysenberry georgette dress under your jacket; a dress that looks a little too thin for winter. You wear wrong clothes a lot - but you never seem to care.
You lift the dress as you look around the small living room and the kitchen, Jungkook hot on your trail and happy you decided to at least wear warm stockings under your outfit. You’re lost in your own world of stars and forests - and all he can think of is your health and well-being, eyes repeatedly darting to his hands to make sure the oxygen tank and inhaler are still there.
In reality, the cabin is a mainstream, dusty and dark little collage of wood, every room combined not larger than the living room and kitchen in your apartment. But for some reason, you’re entirely captivated by the tiny thing; the humble getaway that you’ve waited for, just to spend the night with Jungkook you’ve been craving for days now.
You can barely believe you admired and crushed on him from a safe distance a little more than two months ago - only to stand here with him now, his form nearing yours from behind and his arms wrapping around your waist affectionately.
You’re standing in front of the modest bed, staring at the window and the bird that’s sitting on the frame of it. A picture of you both laying on the cool mattress flashes into your mind; then, an image of the chimney fire drenching your faces in a golden hue sets your heart ablaze; and at last, you pretend that his touches now will lead to more later, everything inside you ready to give yourself to him in any way he wants you to.
“It’s so pretty,” you tell him, throwing your head back when he lifts the jacket off your shoulders and kisses your neck gently. He blows against your skin softly before he leaves a trail of pecks along your shoulder and jaw, pushing you forward in slow motions until your knees hit the bed in front of you.
“You’re so pretty,” he counters before he turns you around in his grip. He proceeds to cover your neck in open-mouthed kisses as you both fall onto the mattress, the surprise of the hardness under you soon fading when he starts making out with you feverishly. Lifting his head only once, he whispers an affectionate ”Prettiest,” before you lose yourselves in each other again.
And in that position you remain, cuddling up under the thick, provided blankets until dusk breaks in. It’s only when your stomachs grumble that you find your way to the kitchen with giggles so unbridled that they make you forget every single worry that your daily life consists of.
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You’ve barely swallowed the last bite of your dinner, fingers unwrapping the cherry-flavoured candy you brought when Jungkook pulls you up by the wrist and hands you your jacket. He’s carrying the thickest blankets from your bedroom; one to lay on and one to wrap yourself in.
“Let’s go,” he exclaims with a clap of his hand. As you wrap yourself in your jacket and put on your boots, Jungkook distinguishes the fire in the chimney; and when he returns, you greet him with the biggest grin he’s ever seen plastered on your face. Which means a lot, because you basically don’t know how to not smile.
Right next to your cabin, there’s a small, narrow pathway that you detected the moment you arrived here. A wooden signpost nailed into the ground indicates in bold letters that the path leads to and ends on a clearing; just the place you’ve been looking forward to with what you’ve had in mind for ages.
Usually, as your friend told you, the clearing serves as an open area to grill or rest, mostly hikers finding their way there after wandering for hours. But tonight, you let the two warm blankets fall in the middle of the place, the grass thankfully dry due to the lack of rain in the previous days.
“You need to tell me when you start feeling cold, okay? I really cannot have you catch a cold when you…” Jungkook starts, but then he averts his gaze and focuses on pulling the top blanket over your chins instead.
“I know,” you assure, knowing exactly that your lungs might not handle a fever or cold. Initially, Jungkook tried hard to let you forget this glorious idea you had; but when it comes to your wishes and stubbornness, even his demeanor changes in an instant. “Don’t worry. I’ll let you know.”
You settle on the ground fast, realising soon that despite the slight coldness that seeps through the blankets, the weather seems warmer than it’s supposed to be during this season. You don’t shiver yet, revelling in the touch of him as you nestle in his embrace.
The sky glows like fairy lights, barely any clouds in sight as the thin, toenail-moon smiles down at you. Brisky wind tickles your cheeks, still comfortable enough to not let you feel the winter much; but still, Jungkook laughs, the low tone of his voice accelerating your heartbeat by a palpable bit.
“You’re crazy,” he says, the arm around your waist starting to feel slightly numb until you turn to your side. You stare up at him, his eyes meeting yours and replacing the sight over your bodies - it’s nearly as if you never looked away at all.
You become lost in him for a single moment before you giggle, smacking your lips as you respond, “Yeaaaaah. News to you?”
“Not sure if I’d survive if it was.” You open your mouth in playful shock, slapping his chest before you fall onto your back again.
The calmness and delight you feel seems incomparable to anything you’ve ever experienced before - and the heartbeat you register under your palm that still rests on his chest tells you that he perceives the moment the same way as you do. And then you think… a heartbeat… right under your palm - his heartbeat.
“I… never thought I’d ever experience this,” you say quietly, tapping your forefinger against his jacket slowly as one of the stars varies between dulling and glowing.
“Watching the stars?”
“No.” You shake your head, sighing in content. You’re so incredibly satisfied with the universe right now - no word could do justice to the perfection around you. “Watching them with you.” A small silence follows - you don’t know what he’s thinking but you like to imagine that his lips are twitching in gratification. “I’d been crushing on you for almost two years.”
He laughs softly, his body vibrating under the hand that keeps rubbing his torso up and down. Amused, he claims, “No way. Why? We never even spoke.”
“So what? You seemed interesting to me since you made that one painting of that boy.”
Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow in confusion as he scans his brain for what you’re talking about. And when he understands eventually, he questions, “It was a course I took for some extra credits. You remember?”
A month ago, you would’ve felt heat creep upon your face, temporary shyness rendering you speechless - but now, you want him to know everything you need him to know. “I remember, because that’s where I saw you for the first time.”
You still recall the painting as if you saw it just yesterday. The boy had this gloomy, menacing expression on his obviously young features, and yet, the linen held various, beautiful colours; yellow… red… blue, green and purple. You were stunned in more than one way - because somehow, it looked like Jungkook had painted his inner life onto the canvas and no one had realised but you.
Shifting impossibly closer, you let your warmed hand wander under his jacket and shift until it brushes over his defined abs lightly. He reacts almost instantly, his hand squeezing your waist and his lips kissing your temple and hair gently as he teases, “So. You had a crush on me but… never talked to me, huh?”
Your fingers trace the lines of his muscles up and down, and you feel his body squirm just slightly before you admit, “You looked too intimidating. Was scared you’d ignore me and walk away.”
“Ah.” The vocal comes out as a whisper; you smirk proudly. “So you waited until you needed someone to paint your walls.”
His free hand trails your arm, shoulder and jaw until it lands on your cheek for only a moment. Then, it continues its journey to your neck and further down until it stops right over the spot where your clavicles hide underneath your clothes. He hesitates. 
“Yeah.” You leave his skin to unzip your jacket a bit, leading his hand to your tits cautiously before you hear him breathe in sharply. “Bought an apartment just for this reason.”
He chuckles right before he hisses, allowing you to lead his hand and let his fingers trace your body further until they reach down your purple dress and the hem of your stockings. His voice is a gentle and loving murmur, intoxicated and distracted when he asks, “Is that what you want?”
“I want to know what you painted your project with.” He smirks at you as he recognises your wit, both of your breathing stagnating when he teases you by pulling at your stockings lightly.
Then, he answers, “Acrylic colours.” His touch roams under the fabric, all the way down to your bareness. “Used a black marker for the contour.” Finger pads ghost over your clit, and he hisses yet again when your hand finds its way back to his body, palming his twitching cock over his clothes. “Some felt-tip… pens, too. Y/N…”
His lips graze your cheeks softly, and you lose half your mind when he repeats into your ear longingly, “Is that what you want?”
He, too, is a tempter - a force of Heaven seeking sins that manifest in the shape and form of you. With the way you look up at him, he can’t help but venture into the world of darkness and tempting dreams, even if his presence is one of a once powerful angel.
A quiet moan escapes you when he rubs your clit with his somewhat cold middle finger lightly; and before you lose your sanity, you manage, “I want you. Want you all the time.” There’s no other way you can summon right now to indicate the yearning you’ve felt towards him for so long - but he must’ve understood.
Because in the next moment, you feel his nails dig into your waist the same second he lets half of his digit slide into you; it’s the most he can do in this position. You know - but it still drives you crazy.
“Want you, too. So bad,” he admits, moaning with you when you rub him over his jeans in return.
He leans down to kiss your lips in a dizzying fever, tongues soon dancing and his mouth devouring your mewls as you lift your hips and squirm in his grip. His finger moves in and out of you for a timespan way too short; and suddenly, he lets go, pushing your hand away gently before he stands and pulls you with him.
“Time to go,” he says, folding the blankets before your fingers intertwine and he leads you back to the cabin in a clear hurry. Halfway through, however, his patience seems to run thin, and he presses you against the nearest tree, drawing a gasp out of you before he kisses your lips and neck heatedly.
The bulge feels prominent against your stomach; but before you can act on it, he breaks apart from you for one last time before reaching the cabin and your awaiting bedroom, jackets falling to the floor haphazardly. He lights the chimney anew and washes his hands before he joins the same space as you, his face golden from the melanin and the fire.
Your heart thumps excruciatingly hard when his knees hit the mattress and he starts crawling closer, his dark and seductive eyes trying to decipher what you’re thinking about.
You fall back gently as he hovers above you, his voice whispering a small, “Hi, lovely girl”, before he kisses you for the umpteenth time today. You let your palms roam his body, the firm muscles of his shoulder and back putting your head in a frenzy before you slide your hands under his jeans and underwear. 
Nails dig into his ass and pull him closer to you; and as the room warms up slowly, he begins to push up your dress till half your torso is bare for him to ghost his lips over. The tickle of his breath and circling of the tip of his tongue bring new revelations to you - never have you ever thought before that a sweet, slight touch like this could affect you in the way it does right in this moment.
He stretches his arm towards you, his hand palming your tit and massaging it delicately, the soft flesh of your mounds setting several wires in his head loose. Before you can think twice, he gives in to his delirious madness. Lifts your hips and rids you of the annoying stockings and panties in one swift slide, pride settling in his chest at the glistening of your pussy.
As his lips work their way down your body and halt in front of your sex, you finally shiver; not because of the cold that the winter brings, but because of his hot breaths that blow against your wetness torturously. He brings a finger to your longing hole, the other arm pinning your thigh against the mattress as he whispers, “Pretty. Dripping. So needy already, aren’t you?”
The words are supposed to be lewd - but with the fond way he utters them, they sound gentle and sweet, your insides exploding further and your hand burying in his hair. You’re distracted by the attempt of coming up with a fitting answer, but when he dips his tongue between your folds without a warning, you mutter hushed, involuntary curses instead.
He drags his wet muscle along your slit and stops at your clit, rounding the tip of his tongue around the bundle of nerves mind-numbingly while your grip around his hair tightens. Tantalizingly, he repeats the action when he moves his face down to your entrance again, drawing circles around it and licking up your juices in between wet, echoing kisses.
“Should’ve started this… long ago,” you breathe as he makes out with your cunt, his nose nuzzling your aching bud as the coil in your stomach tightens. “Yes, yes, keep doing just that. Just like that, please, Kook-”
You sound like a dream he doesn’t want to end; you look like temptation personified - so gorgeous, so sinful. Jungkook groans into your pussy as his hair grazes your skin, slick dripping down his lips and jaw before he pulls at your folds, gulps and asks, “Do you want to come on my tongue, fingers or cock?”
Everything. You want all of him all over you, want to keep feeling him until your body is exhausted and limp, begging to pass out and let it rest. But if you have to choose right now, you will not hesitate to voice what you’ve been longing for all these days and weeks.
“Your… cock… please,” you beg, and as you watch him lift his body in slow motion and smile down at you, you’re certain your mind will shut down if he keeps looking at you like that.
The missed orgasm makes your pussy ache for more, your hands pulling off your bra that remains the last provoking piece of clothing covering your skin before you fondle with your tits under his gaze. He licks his lower lip before capturing it between his teeth, fingers undoing his jeans and pulling off his shirt hastily. Leaving his whole body bare until he kneels over you with his cock standing proud and greedy.
Jungkook is always careful and thoughtful when it comes to you - when he feels you hinging on your last breath, he removes himself from you, much to your misery. Or when he thinks your body aches too hard to sit through a full-length movie, he carries you to your bed, telling you that you never need to endure anything for him.
He takes care of you in a way you never could, neglecting your health one too many times just to live through the adventure you call life. And in that sense, you’ve never even gotten the chance to see him naked as you are now, his scolding always revolving around resting first before you can take it a step further.
Now, not even he dares to hold himself back - you’re too pretty and your lungs are friendly enough today to grant you what you both desire so profoundly. And while you’re thankful for his constant care, you want to curse at him for hiding himself from you for so long. 
Because the sight of him is an artwork too good to miss. The tip of his member is an angry red, yearning to fill your walls to the brim and his waist slim, giving his body a well-built, insanely attractive figure that you want to kiss and drag your tongue over without a spot left untouched.
The delicious flexing of his muscles and the clench of his jaw make your hands curl into a tight fist. Your nails dig into your palm as you try to cope with what you’re looking at. He stares back at you in the same way that your eyes are looking up at him, and with a grin on his face, he asks, “What is it?”
You close your parted lips as you notice yourself ogling at him like an idiot, and then you shake your head, smiling as you answer, “Just still can’t believe this is real, is all.”
And then he leans down, draws a wet line along your jaw with his skilled tongue. “If I fucked you right now,” he starts, his fingers holding up your face and his nose brushing your neck. “Deep and slow, so you can feel every inch of me…” Goosebumps cover your skin and he notices; adores it, your body reacting only to him. “Would you believe me then?”
If he held you like this and teased your body sensually the whole night, you wouldn’t complain. You would drop to your knees, say thank you, and ask to suck him dry, if he just says so once. Your arousal pools between your thighs as he breathes, hums and moves against your neck, clavicles and shoulders, setting your whole being on fire.
“Hm? Talk, baby,” he whispers lovingly, pressing his thumb into your cheek slightly before he lets your face go and brings his fingers to your clit again.
With a shuddering moan, you throw your head back, the grazing touch alone so effective that you need to force your mouth to speak. And with every ounce of energy you gather, you let him know, “Legs already open wide for you… help me believe, Jungkook…”
“My pleasure.” You don’t even hear the dull thump that his and your clothes cause when his arms get them out of your way and they fall to the floor - but you surely do not miss it when he lets out a laugh before whispering under his breath, “You’re so pretty, I could just… look at you forever.”
Your heart soars and tingles at his praise, the tone of his voice so genuine and saccharine that your need to catch your breath comes back in a rush, albeit for only a small second. You reach down between your bodies slowly, almost as if waiting for permission. And when he watches you closely, eager to have your touch on him, you wrap your fingers around his thick, hard length without ever losing eye contact.
A drag of your hand along his shaft makes his breath hitch, and when you feel his balls tighten, he grabs your wrist and pushes your arm away. His body cages you in your entirety, wrapping you both in the warm blanket and lifting his torso by just an inch to not crush you underneath him.
“You’re going to be the end of me, Y/N,” he says, his gaze fixed on your parted lips as he leads his cock to your soaked pussy carefully. You let out a small hiss through your teeth when he rubs his tip between your folds for a little too long, always letting you think he will slide in but never actually proceeding.
One of his muscular arms wraps around your body, making you arch your back from the bed when he finally does give you the satisfaction you seek so profoundly. Your walls engulf his cock hotly when he sheathes himself inside you slowly, closing his eyes and taking in the feeling of you as he bottoms out.
“End of me,” he repeats, and you respond with a breathy moan, your lungs aching slightly but not enough to stop just yet. He places little kisses along your cheekbone as he pulls out up to the head of his cock and pushes in again, asking, “Are you okay?”
You nod yes frantically as your arms snake around him and your fingers find the hair on the nape of his neck. You keen when he starts moving, his fucked out, deep sounds leaving you to drown - chained up in the depths of the ocean.
Your consciousness only returns once and for a second when your fingers skim long and healed scars on each of his shoulder blades. You’ve noticed them a few times; before when you messed around, but after the last bad experience you had with prying on his private life, you never questioned the wounds when a heated make-out session ended and you calmed down again.
And even now, you push it away for the time being. There’s no other option anyway when he grabs your wrists and pins them against the pillow over your head, burying his face in your neck before his tongue lashes out and lips suckle at your sensitive flesh.
Jungkook likes that - toying with your sanity as he leaves small imprints of his teeth on your neck; and you’re never one to complain either. Especially not now when the pleasure of his cock dragging in and out deeply and slowly as he promised fits his love for marking so damn well.
He looks up at you when his movements become harsher and bolder by the second. His hips snap against yours as you feel him penetrate every sensitive spot of your cunt. You wrap your legs around him tighter, a long and erotic sound filling the air as you feel small beads of sweat form on your forehead.
“Tell me if you need a pause,” he whispers, kissing your temple, your nose, your lips, “or anything, anything at all, ever.” You brush his hair back and place your hand on his cheek, his ministrations continuing so smoothly, wet and covered in your slick as you stare at him with sparkling eyes.
The glint in your gaze hurts him. It’s utterly innocent despite anything he’s doing to you right now; despite any sound that’s toppling off your tongue at right this moment. So pure and demure; soft, loving, unconditionally giving. 
God, loving you hurts - and God, he wants to keep doing it forever.
And so he does. Tells you about the longing he feels for you; fucks you gently, pace varying, bodies touching and slowly burning up - turning to ashes. You feel the affection when you come and he follows, hips stuttering until they still. And he kisses your face all over, sweet little pecks from one cheek to the other, on your chin, mouth, under your ears and on your forehead.
He studies your expression, sees a whole poem written in them that always revolves around your yearning for him; never more, never less. He always knew the words and the endearment you felt for him were there; but now that he’s admitted to himself that he doesn’t feel any less, the meaning has changed and twisted entirely.
“Your eyes,” he mumbles in a calm but feeble voice, his soft lips brushing yours faintly. He’s still a seeker, though one who isn’t looking for answers in the sky and stars anymore but in what lies beneath them. In his arms and in his heart. “You’re perfect.”
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You don’t know whether thirty minutes or hours have passed when your hands rake over the beautiful expanse of his skin as he lies next to you on his stomach, arm draped over your chest.
His breathing is calm, and if his lips didn’t press occasional, loving pecks onto your shoulder, you’d think he’s fallen asleep. But differing from his relaxed demeanor, your mind whirs, questions floating around anew when your fingertips reach the long lines of scar tissues marring his perfect skin. 
“What are these scars?" you ask him, not certain if he’s ready to lay his secrets open to you - but you try anyway. "What happened, Jungkook?"
Somehow, they feel old and new at the same time - like he ripped them open and let them heal and close, over and over again. You interrupt his steady breathing, his arm twitching before it loosens around you while you fixate your eyes on the ceiling. He shifts a little on the bed, shaking his head slightly when he answers, “It’s nothing.”
You know he’s lying - and you tell him. It’s a conversation Jungkook expected and dreaded; with the way you halt for a moment every single time when you reach the spot, he knew you’d bring it up one day or another.
But despite remnants of fear still lingering in his heart, your vigilant, quiet voice puts him at ease. With everything you’ve experienced and endured together, Jungkook feels pieces and chunks inside him melt; like there’s a part of him that you’re understanding enough to accept. Somehow, he reckons that not telling you might backfire worse than handing you the truth.
He sits up, pulling you with him before he begins kissing the knuckles of your hand gently. With fear in his eyes, he looks at you with a dropping expression, his infinitely sad voice breaking your heart as he warns, “You might run away.”
But the moment the words leave his lips, you shake your head, palming his warm face tenderly, and promise, “I could never run away from you. I love you… and I know you know.”
He smiles at you but it never truly reaches his eyes; and then, he gathers his courage, taking a deep breath before he starts, “There are… things in this world that are realer than you might expect.” And then, you see a shadow grow behind him - it makes you widen your eyes, but strangely, doesn’t make you fear him anyhow.
“Things that are so much bigger than mortality,” he continues, something sprouting that you’ve never seen but seem to recognise. “And you might not fathom them just yet, Y/N.”
They are broken. Dark, torn wings, small but still somehow as pretty as the face that’s falling deeper into your palm. He holds onto your wrist, lets you take in his appearance - so fragile and increasingly expecting for you to desert him as you meet him with silence. And then, he tells you, “Angels exist, Y/N. Heaven, Hell, all of that - it’s there. Like… a whole other world that exists so far away from here. Guardian angels, archangels… And I became a fallen one a long time ago.”
The subtle surprise in your face comes expected - but the smile that you flash at him does not. You take a deep, relieved breath - almost as if you were expecting something worse; something that would have made you leave. Instead, you lift his face, looking into his pained eyes that hold so many aching memories and unspoken questions before you ask, “These scars. Do you have them in Heaven, too?”
Or are they just signs of failure and misery, indicating and reminding him that his wings are burned and ripped?
Jungkook scoffs, his gaze fixed firmly on yours to avoid the sight of the dying feathers that build his wings… somehow. Shaking his head slightly, he tells you, “No. At least I… think I didn’t have them there. I guess they’re supposed to be a souvenir… showcasing my miserable existence as a creature of the light.”
“There’s not one ounce of misery I see in you. And I don’t know about your mistake up there,” you tell him, kissing the apple of his cheek gently before admitting, “but it still makes sense. You being an angel. That’s why you always appeared like one.”
He blinks at you. Barely believes that your reaction is real and genuine - that you see him and still take him the way he is; for who and what he is. And when emotions start boiling hotter inside him than ever, he reads the love written in your gaze clearly.
“I wish there were bigger words to tell you than just... I love you.”
No matter what his reluctant brain used to try to force onto him, he understands now that the understated four-letter-word is exactly what you awaken in him; further and further, harder and harder; the more you talk, the stronger you love and the longer you breathe.
Anything that still tries to tell him otherwise defeats the sense of logic heavily.
You see it in his expression without him needing to utter a single word; the dark pupils shake and melt, his head tilted and lips parted, sighing while his fingers settle at the nape of your neck. And when you lean forward, kissing him, holding onto his bicep tightly, everything around him starts spinning and his body floating.
But then, the world keeps spinning. A little too much. Weirdly hard.
When he moves away and his touch vanishes suddenly, you think he’s trying to catch his breath - the nerve-wrecking confession along with the observation of your reaction must be a lot. That’s what you think; only, that’s not exactly what’s happening.
Because then, his face sinks, his eyebrows furrow and hands press against his temples as he manages to mumble, “What the fuck is…”
Alarms sound loudly in your mind, your body reacting reflexively when you grab his shoulders and try to make him look at you. You shake him lightly but desperately without any success. You call out his name, watch him curl into himself and into your lap before-
“Don’t call anyone,” he pants, voice so deafening that your heartbeat accelerates in fear. Nothing he told you before scared you as much as his sudden breakdown does, and you don’t know what to do, how to help, how to stop whatever pain he is suffering all of a sudden. And again, he begs, “Don’t do anything… I’m sorry, I-”
He doesn’t know what to tell you, and certainly doesn’t understand what he’s apologising for. All he gathers is that some sort of revelation has drowned his consciousness enough to overwhelm him in the cruelly excruciating way of shutting down his body and mind. Something’s happening to him that not even he could foresee; but the sickening feeling in his guts tells him that he will find out soon enough.
Jungkook hears his name in your voice dozens of times more, every syllable you utter becoming more faint as moments pass by - until everything stills.
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It feels like the final dream.
Like things are about to unveil and bring full closure. Pictures of a distant yesterday rush by in a flash, and Jungkook can nearly decipher one for what it is until the wind ebbs down and he starts seeing faces and hearing voices somewhere near him.
Suddenly, he finds himself in an unlit room that he begins to remember every detail of. It’s silent apart from the broken sobs, two voices mixing that he soon recognises as his own and… Ari’s. It’s the last night he talked to her; the very last time he saw her.
“Please hold on...” his past self begs, unaware of his own presence that is watching him while his heart threatens to explode. Jungkook steps closer to where he and Ari sit in the middle of her bed, her tears drenching his shirt and body rocking back and forth in the pain that her incurable illness inflicts on her.
“Just a bit more,” he hears his voice continue, but Ari shakes her head, lifting it as she meets the pained expressions of her lover.
Jungkook still knows how her courage and ability to endure had dropped oceans deep near the end. And when he realises the scenes that follow this memory, he wishes he could wake up somehow - fall back into your arms the way he did minutes ago. Instead, everything continues, and everything stings with a creeping intensity when she exclaims through her tears, “Can you make it end?” Her breathing is erratic, heavy. “Stop all this… please, please.”
“No!” he yells, her flinching calming his voice as he rubs her back soothingly and repeats, “Fuck, why are you aski-”
“Because I can’t do it anymore,” Ari interrupts, her eyes glassy, mind spinning, “I can’t wait... for death anymore, Jung-”
His name morphs into another gut-wrenching sob as her lungs burn up and her body stings, the pain heavy in her head, limbs and heart. More pleas explode from her chest, and she tries to concentrate on her breathing and to power through the torture - but when she can’t, she curls up into herself, digging her nails into Jungkook’s arm painfully.
Her eyes meet his again with agony written all over her features and touches, and when the sight becomes too much and his chest implodes, he gives in at last. He didn’t expect for love to hurt in a devastating way like this; never thought he’d become the luckiest man with her by his side before stepping into a waterfall of misfortune.
His dream self watches like a prisoner trapped in his own mind, tears running down his face and onto the floor as he sees himself place his palm on her forehead and draw a deep inhale. A faint glow under his hand lights up the space between them, and as moments pass, her breathing becomes steady, her sobs quieter. With a gulp and tired eyes that droop slowly, she tells him with melancholy gripping her fragile heart, “I love you, Kook.”
“Fuck,” he cries, his body shuddering as he feels her limbs grow weaker around him. He doesn’t care about curses spoken by his angel self; doesn’t think about what fellow beings of his species might think. Everything he cares about is being stripped of him anyway. “I love you, Ari… fuck, why-”
And in the next moment, she’s gone.
As her organs still completely and her muscles begin to freeze, he holds her tightly against his chest, continuing the constant rocking that her body did before. His arms around her leave her in a relentless grip, and before the dreaming and remembering Jungkook can reach out to his grieving, younger version, the scene changes.
This time, the room and faces don’t manifest in front of his eyes; instead, he sees a blinding light, merely silhouettes of murky figures visible in the shadows that he’s sure belong to members of the council. They’re whispering something, their words resembling hisses that sound different than any language he’s ever heard.
And yet, he understands everything.
“The highest archangels of the council conclude that your punishment will be to live a mortal life. That is, until you find the resolution to your pain - the key is to let life run its course this time and suffer through agony until you learn your lesson and rejoin Heaven again.”
The woman’s voice is silvery and soft, so pleasant that one might almost not reckon that she’s banning him to a damned and cursed life for years and decades. Again, he hears the tone of his own numbness; the same he used when he met Alyanna in the garden right after exactly this trial was over.
“I begged you to help her,” he tells them, somewhere hidden in the light, invisible, “I begged you and you did nothing. Aren’t we supposed to be good and guard human lives and-”
“Jungkook,” a different presence of a man cuts in, his voice deep and words punctuated, “no matter how much good we’re ordered to do, meddling with a human life isn’t allowed. That includes curing and death, too. You need to find a balance between helping someone and letting the stream of life flow. I’m sorry.”
“Where is she?”
Jungkook’s present form sinks to his knees, eyes falling shut from the light that blinds him and burns itself into his eyelids. He now knows where Ari went - knows what happened and why she never ascended the way she should’ve.
“Not here,” the woman explains, “she’ll be reincarnated to help you find your path. We’re making this easy for you. You ought to do nothing more but find love and eternal peace. Trust me when I say that it could’ve been worse…”
“I don’t care.” The numbness seems to give way to something else - something more grim, his sombre voice so careless, so brave now. Jungkook thinks this is where his doubts towards love began first. “Do whatever you want to me. I don’t care anymore.” A faint echo follows his words, a cold wind playing with Jungkook’s hair before he opens his eyes again.
And with that, the memory ends. The world and his sight turn dark, but he doesn’t wake up just yet, his human brain too weak, too overwhelmed with the amount of information that flooded his mind with a painful intensity.
The answer never seemed as clear as it does now. And as he realises that he’s experiencing the preplanned agony they doomed upon him decades ago in the form of you, his mind begins rummaging through various ways of letting your soul go yet again.
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When the morning light surpasses the skin of Jungkook’s eyelids and pulls him out of unconsciousness, his gaze meets your swollen face first.
You're not crying, but you certainly did before; your eyes are rimmed red and your hair disheveled. You brush your fingers through his hair carefully as his eyes adjust to his surroundings and realise that he’s still where he was before. Somehow, you must’ve managed to extend your stay by a day without calling the ambulance or anyone for help.
“Jungkook,” your shaky voice calls, and he opens his mouth to answer. No tone escapes, his throat dry. “Say something, Kook.”
“Y/N…” he croaks, and when the word comes out as hoarsely as he expected, he silences again. You nod in understanding, new, silent tears spilling before you sniffle.
“God, that scared me… so fucking much,” you admit, shifting closer on the bed and letting his arms engulf you in his warmth, “I was so-” You hiccup. “-close to dialing 911. You weren’t moving. Or waking up…”
But he was breathing - the only argument that let you stay strong and avoid acting against his wishes. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat feels different now than from when you placed your head against his chest, waiting for him to open his eyes as you prayed that he was okay wherever his mind had journeyed.
“I was gone the whole night?” he asks, blinking as he stares at a spot in the corner of the room.
You shake your head, intertwining your fingers with his when you reveal, “The whole night. Then the whole day… and then another night. I was…”
Sick with worry. Devastated and killing time by brewing tea or cooking soup, sustaining your body because you had to. You tilt your head in concern, asking him cautiously, “What happened?”
You’re not stupid - you know that anything that happened to him wasn’t just a case of falling unconscious without any proper reason. And with the filter he abandoned right before the final dream began, he looks at you in desperation, gripping you in his hold desperately before he starts from the beginning and retells everything he saw in detail.
Hearing Ari’s name and her story ignites something ugly in you; something that’s too out of place right now. But stronger than that, you feel empathy and sadness, everything enhancing when he ends his life story with a small, scared, “Maybe you should let me go… walk away.”
“Why would I let you go? You said yourself that you never could… what makes you think I can?” you inquire, squeezing his hand in yours and remembering a similar conversation not long ago. “I told you I’m not running away. Not from you.”
“I hurt you.”
“Life hurts me. Not you,” you tell him, dismissing his comment before you query, “Do you want to leave?”
His reluctance falters and lets uncertainty and defeat seep through instead, his head shaking no but his words indicating otherwise. “I don’t. But maybe I should walk away before we do something stupid.”
Something stupid… like giving in. Letting pain advance. Growing fond of each other enough to let the end of you both shatter you. You’re being entirely stupid - lovesick fools ready to face ultimate and inevitable torment.
You let his hand go and take his face in your palms, pressing into the soft cheeks before you say, “If you don’t want to, you shouldn’t have to. And…” You lean in to press a devoted, transient kiss against his slightly quivering lips.
As your thumb traces his cheekbone, you back away with a soft smile, asking quietly, “That didn’t feel stupid, did it? Doesn’t it make you believe it’s just…” You blink, observing the light drench him in angelic hues. “...right?”
Every fiber in his body hurts - and the whole, wide world seems stupid. But not you; not his dream, his fairy tale, his past and his present, and the reason for his existence on this measly Earth. For however long, he will love you - without any doubt, unconditionally.
Life seemed to end once. But with you, it’s starting again with a small, silent murmur; his inhibitions fall with a duller thud than his body did after his mortal rebirth. In the small room and the comfort of your presence, he tilts his head, telling you in a hushed whisper, “You make me begin… to believe.”
In you; in love; maybe even in hope.
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When days pass and change, so do you.
Your shifting in the bed wakes him before your whine does. Fingers curled, your sounds pick up on volume, eyebrows furrowing as you open your mouth to take steady breaths desperately.
That’s the exact reason why Jungkook never leaves you alone anymore, despite your reassurances that you’ll be fine and thriving. The more time flies, the more he can see your health decline, the dark rings under your eyes the biggest indicator for sleepless nights and worsening pain.
It’s the middle of the night when his eyes shoot open and he grabs the inhaler where it lays on the bedside table, pushing it into your mouth while cradling the back of your head gently. You look bad. So much worse than when he met you, your fingers trembling and head dropping.
“It’s okay,” he whispers, an arm draped over your shoulder as you take deep, saving breaths. “Do you want me to call the ambulance?”
You shake your head violently - you’re so sick of the constant doctor’s appointments; so sick of them reminding you over and over again that you’re dying. It’s nothing new to you. But the fact that it affects Jungkook just as worse, his expression always falling and conversations stopping after accompanying you, leaves you in a constant state of bitterness.
He’s trying his best - he honestly is. Rent has lost meaning to him as he spends the majority of his time with you, at your apartment. He only ever runs back to his place to bring new clothes, and even that at neck-breaking speed.
“Did you take your meds, baby?” he asks, his free hand smoothing your hair as he watches you nod idly. “It’s fine. I’m here. Okay?”
Again, you nod, focusing on letting air in your lungs until enough time has passed and they have filled with the needed oxygen, though still burning and aching in your chest. With a tired heart and mind, you lean into him, his fingers pulling the blanket over both of you some more when he hears you scoff.
Irritated and without your usual enthusiasm, you say, “I can’t even kiss you anymore without nearly fainting.”
He looks down at you with worry, torment and affection, his face coming closer before he gives you a soft, fleeting kiss. “You can. It worked, see?”
You flash a half-smile, so utterly drained, yet so scared of falling asleep again. And when your body starts yearning for any kind of distraction, you say, “Can I ask you something?”
“Did you ever… get to be intimate with Ari much?”
The question catches him off guard in a way that makes his body flinch; her name in your sweet voice sounds wrong, unfamiliar. In some way, he realises that you’re talking about yourself - but of course, you will never identify with your past self or see her as a distant part of yourself, no matter how hard you try.
With a confused crease between his eyebrows, he asks, “Why are you thinking of this right now?”
“I’ve just… wanted to know for a while.” But that’s not it entirely. In truth, you want to feel any other kind of pain that doesn’t indicate the end. You want to dwell in human emotions, no matter how good or bad they are - you want to know what normal people deal with in their daily lives.
And on the other hand, you need to confirm or reject your thoughts that keep whispering in the back of your mind that you might never reach the level she was at. He had more time with her - knew her better, loved her longer.
“I can make you feel good instead,” Jungkook mutters, kissing your hair, “tell you about something else.”
But you refuse. Wish to feel anything resembling jealousy or possessiveness before you can’t feel anything anymore. You shake your head, tell him you would like to hear it if he’s ready to tell you. “I understand if you say no.”
Jungkook falls silent for a moment, nibbling at his lips as he thinks back to days reluctantly that feel like they belong to a different life - and in some way, they definitely do. “Yeah,” he begins, his voice soothing and careful, “she and I were intimate.”
“Like we are? Like we were.”
“You loved… love her a lot, right?” you ask. Jungkook’s insides turn a little as he hears the pain in your voice. He knows loving you is hard - but he can imagine that reciprocating the same feeling for him must be horribly tough as well.
He places his chin on your head, and you feel him nod slowly. You sense the sting in your chest the same moment he does, so prominent and so different from what your illness tortures you with daily.
In some way, you feel like he’ll never feel the same type of love for you that he felt for her. Because she was never a toxic ex, never parted from him in a hostile way; she was the girl of his dreams - his intended always and forever.
With a brief pause, Jungkook continues, “We were engaged.” A little something crushes inside your heart when he whispers the words, and you bite your lower lip tightly. “We knew well it would never work out. But I wanted her like that before she died. I thought I might experience at least some of this side of life with her. But I didn’t.”
When he looks at you, he sees your fallen face - sees the ache that his words cause inside you. The fog of jealousy that clouds your eyes is clear as day; your chest deflates and your grip around him loosens a little - he wants nothing more but to make you feel better, no matter how.
With a gentle touch, he brushes your hair away and tucks it behind your ear before wiping the light sweat from your forehead that your earlier distress caused.
“Y/N,” he whispers, kissing the tip of your nose before he backs away and adds, “you’re my past and my present. Things were intense with her, but you’re still you. I don’t love you any less.”
Your gaze turns glassy and sugary sweet, and when you whisper your next words timidly, he can’t help but laugh lightly, “Promise?”
“I promise you… I can assure you that you’re enough, Y/N.” His head falls against your shoulder, lips moving to your neck and placing a soft, tickling peck on your skin. “Gonna love you until time stops.”
You sigh in content before you hug him closer again, fingers burying in his hair as you giggle, “Jealousy is… nasty.”
The chuckling that vibrates against your neck echoes in your head like a song, his mouth kissing your bleeding heart some more before he asks, “How do you feel?”
You think about your answer for a moment, digging deep and figuring out the vast mass of emotions whirling inside you. And then, you smile gently, eyelids falling close slowly as you tell him, “Alive.”
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Hearing you say that you feel alive becomes the most important part of the day for Jungkook until it stops. You feel alive until you don’t.
You leave his world with him standing and breathing three months later. The universe doesn’t crash with a thump, but a silent whimper. The warning signs were always there; worse in the last weeks, preparing him to let go slowly and not allow pain to befall him in a sudden motion.
And yet, his heart stings inherently, nearly as if someone’s turning a knife over and over again - letting him experience your last moment over and over again. You don’t get to tell him you love him for one last time; can’t give him a goodbye kiss and let him know that it’s okay, that everything is okay and that things will fall into place again - with or without you.
The picture of him coming back from buying tulips repeats in his mind until he’s spiraling; he still remembers the flowers falling before he sprinted to your room, non-responsive to his calls and questions. He wants to stop thinking about your stilled breathing and the trip to the hospital - the one that did nothing but crushed his heart further, making clear that you were gone and not coming back.
That’s how a human body works. People live and die, leaving loved ones in sorrow and falling; falling harder than with the light that Jungkook still remembers. There’s nothing that the most skilled doctor or magician can do about the motions of life - and with that knowledge in mind, Jungkook knows you’re gone, inevitably out of his reach.
How long does it take for a mortal heart to forget and continue? To let moments pass, wake up in peace, smile at things again without them looking dull, grey, faded?
Days ends and nights start for Jungkook in a blur as he feels the universe expand and Earth spin without you. He attends your funeral in a haze that fogs his brain. Barely remembering the whole morning and afternoon, Jungkook returns to his apartment, drenching his suit in tears before he falls asleep again.
That’s the routine he gets used to way too soon. Even his closet ends up empty when it stops inhabiting clothes... shirts and sweaters that aren’t filled with the liquid that makes his body run dry and dehydrated. And with the paralysis Jungkook feels, every tableware and piece of clothing starts piling up and gathering dust.
It’s a miserable life - he knows. But there’s no point in caring, if he can’t share his accomplishments with you.
Your parents recognise him the day he lays flowers on your grave one March morning, arriving just minutes later as he waters the muddy earth over your coffin with his sobs along with the rain. Your mother places a hand on his shoulders, watching his eyes look back in sorrow and surprise, his waterline red and swollen.
He remembers their faces from the funeral; still sees the pictures flash in front of him of them collapsing in front of your tombstone and asking every power above why you disappeared this fast. And even Jungkook wants to know, because you-
“It will be okay,” your father tells him, his own eyes watering and lips quivering as he stares at your name and words written beneath it. “We’ll see her one day again. And life will go on.”
Jungkook wants to know, because…
“She told us about you. You’re as handsome as she said, no exaggeration here.” Your parents smile at him in the same tender way you always used to: with a twinkle in your pupils and a tilt of your head.
Jungkook wants to know why you disappeared this fast, because you promised.
“Y/N, she…” he starts, wiping his cheeks and clearing his throat, “she promised she wouldn’t run away from me. It’s a bit unfair.”
A bit is an understatement if he’s ever uttered one. A bit can’t ever come close to the disappointment he feels towards life and hope. He feels dizzy again when he walks away and turns only once to see your father’s arm draped around his wife’s shoulders, her head leaning against his chest the way yours would against Jungkook’s when you watched movies or sang songs together.
The last months were hard - a constant reminder that you were getting worse and your apartment becoming emptier. Your heart became colder and weaker the way the season did; you seemed to fade with the sun and the light. Even though Jungkook tried to give you every single thing you had desired, nothing seems enough now as he steps into your flat with idle moves.
The little glass ornament of the butterfly he gifted you on New Year’s Eve still sits on top of the shoe shelf and under the whiteboard. He told you it reminded him of you - so free and beautiful and easy on the eye and soul.
Soon, someone else will be the owner of your apartment; soon, the laughs and giggles and tears you both shared will be replaced by new wall colours and new decoration. The furniture, shelves and kitchen you acquired will stay as a kind of memory, but everything else will vanish in a moment’s notice.
Jungkook wraps his fingers around the butterfly, remembering how even this place was something you went for to do one last, big thing for yourself before you left. He smiles endearingly, brings the glass close to his face and says, “You’re crazy, Y/N.”
With a shake of his head, he buries the ornament in the pocket of his jacket, the love he houses for you exploding and imploding when he feels your weight in his coat. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you be crazy a little longer.” He smacks his lips, chuckling a little before he adds, “Lucky for me, you forgive pretty easily.”
Sighing, he grabs the purple marker - you seemingly bought the colour because he loves it so much - and scribbles a small sentence into the middle of the by now filled board.
I wish there were bigger words to tell you than ‘I love you’.
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It doesn’t take long after your funeral till Jungkook feels a push and pull in his sleep. First, surprise washes over him - you’re gone and the story is over, his memory regained and no dream left that he can still live through.
But when his eyes shoot open and they meet a blinding light, he protects his view with his arm, distant voices coming closer until a bright hallway forms in front of his body. Fluorescence fills the room, and he starts to remember the place steadily, his legs moving on their own accord, carrying him to the room where the noise is coming from.
He places a hand over his beating heart, his palm meeting a soft, silky fabric that certainly wasn’t there when he went to bed with his torso bare. In some sense, he can imagine what’s about to happen, and he wonders what will happen to his plants, his books, his whole existence in the human world where no one might miss him anyway.
His hand, still covered in various tattoos and shimmering in the white glow, pushes the handle of the heavy door down cautiously. He steps into a large room with loud and excited voices bustling, the chaos silencing only when he reaches the middle and stands still, looking around with wide eyes.
Jungkook knows that they are here for him; sees in the way the infamous council eyes him that he’s here for something way bigger than a random visit. On instinct, he walks to the chair placed right in front of the council’s long table, reminding him of the Last Supper that’s awaiting a verdict for the traitor.
Someone in the back of the room coughs - seemingly, most of the noise reaching him in the hallway came from a conversing audience who’s smiling at him like hyenas. He doesn’t know that they’ve been waiting for this moment for days; while Jungkook deems himself a waste of space, various new angels have been anticipating his return eagerly.
Jungkook, the once diligent angel who captured everyone’s minds and hearts in a flash; that one angel who betrayed Heaven by giving in to that one rule that towered every sin in importance. Not even intimacy and temptation that he felt himself lose a war against are regarded as highly inappropriate as meddling with human beings’ lives.
“I’m here,” he whispers - but the echo still carries his voice throughout the room and rings clearly in the ears of everyone present. “I’m back.”
“Jungkook,” the voice of the same woman greets, the one who’d talked him through his punishment in another life, right at this spot. Her name is Ash - he remembers her since he dreamed of her, back when you were still by his side. “You were an angel of the third section, right?”
Right. There were sections. Assigned to fulfill various tasks, ranging from guarding a mortal to keeping the balance between good and bad. He used to be Ari’s guardian before he lost his reputation and privileges in Heaven; in fact, his assignment was the sole reason he found himself in the situation at all.
Now, he’s grateful for acting the way he did - without it, he’d never have met you, never properly learned how to live and let live, die and let die.
“I was,” he confirms, ready to hear a rambling of a whole list that they must have undoubtedly prepared. At least the papers laying in front of their folded hands indicate this much, Ash’s eyes darting up and down from his face to the documents and back.
“What happened down there, Jungkook?”
He gulps, curses and arguments shooting into his head that he wants to blurt. But instead, he calms his soul and takes a deep breath, aware of the fact that she knows exactly what happened, but has to follow the schedule of this trial anyway.
“I… lived. And studied. I grew up in a foster home,” he begins, rattling down the basic happenings of his life in a monotone voice until he arrives at the moment when everything began shattering. “I met her. She-”
“She?” the man next to Ash - Namjoon? - questions. Jungkook’s heart feels too numb to let the unnecessary inquiry annoy him. He just wants to answer - just wants to leave this place.
“She… Y/N, she- I met her and helped her set up her place.” Jungkook’s head drops, eyes blinking and recounting events from half a year ago. “We became friends. And then I fell- I fell in love with her. She was sick.”
He tries hard to keep his words factual instead of spiraling into private emotions. But the thought of you, your voice, your smile and your touches sets his insides ablaze and his chest and throat constrict.
With a damp gaze, he looks up to Namjoon, his stern expression professional and void of empathy. Then, he continues. “She was sick and she died. I couldn’t help her. She saw my wings, too, you know? I had broken, dark wings. No one has them down there. It’s a big deal to differ and to… to be something else than human. She saw the wings and still loved me and then died and I couldn’t help, so tell me, what did I have them for?”
Your memories incinerate him from within; there’s no point of return anymore.
Tears start spilling yet again as the stupefaction gets replaced by the same searing ache he felt when you left, and his voice grows louder as he asks, “What are they here for? She just vanished like that, and she was so young. She didn’t deserve it, right? But even her parents will move on and I can’t - why?”
His sobs fill the room, resounding gut-wrenchingly, the audience now dead silent and listening to his outburst of feelings. If he could, if he wasn’t glued to the chair, he’d sink to his knees and beg to go back down, to experience one single day with you again. To just see you, kiss you one last time. 
Words die in his throat and he lets himself fall; fall into the abyss further and further until he feels empty and dry. You made him feel like he was enough; like he was something and more, like he deserved the endless love and fondness he received from you. Not even Heaven and wings and being here can bring back what you filled his vulnerable heart with.
And right now, he can’t take the loneliness that engulfs him in this room full of people anymore.
“I’m sorry, I just…” he manages through distorted speech, missing the smiles that Ash and her troup flash at him until he hears her call his name again.
“It does seem like you learned how life works,” she tells him, inhaling and exhaling deeply before his head shoots open and he furrows his eyebrows in irritation. “Do you remember what we told you back then?”
His uneven breathing calms when he hears her speak, the smile somehow hinting at something good and easing his mind in an instant. Maybe that’s a power angels hold; he doesn’t know anymore. He wonders if he had this power over you.
“Your punishment happened, because you played with life and death. Because you did something that disrupted not only our order, but brought chaos to Ari’s family and her surroundings as well.” Ash rises from her seat, rounding the table slowly until she stands right in front of him. “You might not realise this without any inside info, but a non-natural death will always result in a disturbance in balance. It was a genuine, well-meant mistake, but we had to take actions that were just as genuine and well-meant… Jungkook.”
He stares at her, the truth dawning on him and starting to make sense; and maybe, he would’ve understood already, if his mind wasn’t drowning in the agony and grief that has accompanied him for weeks now.
“And now that you’ve let Ari go and let her family follow a natural route of grieving and healing, you’ve been pulled back - just as promised.”
Jungkook doesn’t care much about anything she said that followed the first third of the sentence, too focused on the annoyance that brews in him eventually. “Her name was Y/N. Not Ari.”
“It still is. Y/N,” she tells him with a gentle smile, placing her hand with ringed fingers on his shoulder. “That’s still her name.” Her eyes dart to something behind him, her hair flying into her face by a wind that can’t possibly be caused by an actual breeze; not inside this windowless room. “And welcome back.”
His scars pain just a little before he sees something large and white sprout from his back; and with a glance to his right, he watches his torn wings turn into what they were before. Glowing, feathery, huge extensions of himself that bring back his status as a creature of the light after what feels like thousands and millions of years.
They feel lighter than a needle despite their sheer volume and size; and although his attention couldn’t shift further away from everything Ash is explaining about the next steps, something inside him sighs in relief. He doesn’t understand the sudden calmness falling over him, until he starts registering fragments of her speech.
“Step into your duties… third level angel… help out newly turned ones as well.”
He might have been created by mighty hands and never known anything but a life as a seemingly superior species before he fell… but human beings go through a different cycle of birth and death. They either ascend or descend; either live eternally blessed by the light or trapped in fire.
And you…
“Where is she?” his frightened voice suddenly interrupts, reckoning that every important information that he had to regain has been uttered anyway.
Time rewinds and history repeats as he finds himself mumbling the same words as before the thump when Heaven and Hell shook. And with a small sigh, Ash finally drops the formal talk and the forwarding of knowledge that Jungkook possesses anyway, stating instead, “She… settled in your home for the time you weren’t here. Now that you are, we’ll allow her to move away. Or you might tell her yourse-”
“No,” he cuts in again, his wings slowly waning, “I don’t want her to leave. Let me just- go see her… please.”
With an elegant movement and one hand over the other, Ash steps away and nods her head towards the door, finally giving him permission to leave the hall that he holds onto eagerly.
In the matter of bare seconds, he pulls the door open and rushes to the seemingly eternally distant entrance of the building. The stairs don’t stop and the light burns in his eyes too intensely; and in that sense, relief drowns him in waves when he lands outside under the warm, comforting sun.
The rays of the star soothe his cold, shivering skin pleasantly as his feet begin to run, and for a moment, he thinks back to the rain and snow that fell from the skies for months with no end down in your town. But now, the sun is shining. He wonders; thinks that maybe it’s you.
Alive in some way or another. In his proximity, closer than he thinks. Has he really grown used to days without you so much that he didn't consider an answer to an unasked question that laid right in front of his eyes?
With a push of his feet, his body lifts from the ground and shoots into the sky, the flight coming to him so naturally as though he's been floating forever. The clouds look artificial and different here than they did the last twenty-four years, but the genuine hope inside him makes up for any sadness that he feels at the lack of authentic nature surrounding him.
This world… Heaven… it's built to mimic the perfection that Earth's nature showcases in an improved and enhanced way - but he's ready to spend the rest of eternity here if it means to wake up to your beaming smile every day.
Jungkook's tears dry fast in the wind as he keeps whispering to himself that you're here and okay, that you'll soon fall into his arms and start healing by finally forgetting all the pain.
And soon, he arrives at what he remembers as his home - a humble, little house standing where buildings stop and the forest begins. Right where he began and right where he will begin again. 
Chirping birds and the fountain water flowing peacefully disrupt his train of thoughts for only a moment before he lands on his feet swiftly, softly. His garden seems unchanged as the same roses still bloom, showing their thorns prouder than ever. Even his house looks the same, standing tall and strong without a single crack or trace of weathering.
The sole, sweet alteration that builds a new addition to his place and to his future life is the form hunching over the fetching stare of the flowers. At the sound of his steps, he sees a head shoot up and the back straighten, the loving gaze and raised eyebrows meant for him taking his breath away excruciatingly.
You look healthier and more graceful than ever, thriving with or without company and empty of even a mere hint of physical torture. Up above the clouds, Jungkook looks different than from what you’re used to seeing, an ethereal and faint glitter surrounding his body as he approaches you slowly and utters your name quietly.
The tremble in his voice awakens a bittersweet feeling that no word can come close to; you want to call it adulation; want to call it fondness; want to call it nostalgia. His brightness makes you blink once, twice - you’re not sure if it’s him or his white, soft wings that blind you more.
“Jungkook,” you mouth, your heart skipping one or two beats as you move forward in small steps; you knew he’d arrive soon, and yet you can’t help but feel surprised in some strange way. Your cheek grows wet before you know it, and within the blink of an eye, you fall into him, your fingers digging in his arm and eyes staring into his, resembling your warmth and devotion.
He’s short of breath when he cradles your face and lets his pupils dart from your eyes to your nose and then to the soft curve of your quivering lips. Gradually, almost in slow motion, he locks his mouth with yours, swallowing your sobs and savouring your taste. It feels so new, feels so familiar… you have a hold on him that he has an eternity to figure out now.
He might be in Heaven - but it’s you who make the place a paradise.
And standing in the middle of it, you let him kiss you tenderly, nearly as if he’s never done it before. And when he backs away, your eyes tell him that you’ve waited for him; that you’ve craved him. With a deep, exhilarated and yet relieved inhale, he finds his voice again, small and scared, fearing that he might wake up to an empty bed again as he says, “I love you... I love you.”
“Stay with me,” you plead, every confession packed into these three words before Jungkook realises that this is it. This is the heavenly phrase he searched for all this time, something that towers over any affectionate and whispered I love you.
As he hears the birds sing a song, flowers refusing to wither and the sun smiling down at you, Jungkook wallows in the beauty of the scene and the serenity of the moment. But with you, he realises that it’s not the place or sun or the butterflies or nature whispering sweet promises to him, but you who quenches his thirst.
You are the oasis in this blooming dream.
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AND WE’RE DONE !! it was such a ride and i loved writing this one so much !! if you enjoyed it, please don’t forget to do the following: like, reblog and/or send me an ask <3
as always, i love talking to you guys about the characters, story or anything at all !!!
878 notes · View notes
ahundredtimesover · 2 months ago
This is How We Break | JJK
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Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader 
Genre/Tags: exes au; angst, fluff, smut (18+)
Warnings: foul language, alcohol consumption, motorcycle driving under the influence, motorycle accident, break-up and post-break up pain, sexual content (unprotected sex but be safe please!), JK has a tattoo sleeve and eyebrow piercing (18+)
Word count: 20.6k
Summary: There are things you prepared for coming back home and that includes seeing your ex-boyfriend, but helping him design his apartment isn’t one of them. From meetings over coffee and lunches with your friends, you both learn more about the time in-between, and what you find out leave you heartbroken, wondering if there’s enough of you left to try to get back what you’d lost.
“You know what they say about past lovers remaining friends? It’s either they never loved each other to begin with, or they still do. And we all know how much they loved each other, don’t we?”
A/N: Another exes AU? Where someone leaves then comes back?? 🤔 YUP!! I wasn’t supposed to write this so soon but things are hard and I needed an outlet.
AND I would love to thank the very talented @taemaknae​ for this header. Nicole, I’m obsessed with the details. Thank you for capturing the most emotional parts of this story in this <3
~~// These italics refer to flashbacks // ~~
Listen to: Two Ghosts and Falling by Harry Styles
The thrumming of your heart drowns out the music and your friends’ laughter from the backseat, as if taunting you to only focus on its beating. But not even Jimin and Areum’s narration of their botched dine in the dark experience and Yoongi’s snickers and soft hums can calm you down.
“Hey.” Your best friend next to you pulls your ear to get your attention. “You okay?”
You open your eyes but focus on the street outside. “Yeah, just nervous to see everyone.”
“Don’t be. Everyone misses you,” Yoongi comforts.
“Everyone?” You raise an eyebrow. 
“Well, almost everyone,” he laughs. 
“Gee, way to ease my nerves, Yoon,” you slightly punch his arm.
“I’m kidding” he says, as he pulls the brake to park. “But hey, you had weeks to prepare. You know you’re gonna see him. He doesn’t.”
The thought shouldn’t terrify you as much as it does. But Yoongi’s right. While you arrived just yesterday, your trip back home was a month in the making and in that timeframe, you resigned from your job in Australia, accepted a job offer in Seoul, got a place of your own… and went over the different scenarios that could play out tonight. 
Surprising your good friend Da-eun during her engagement party is one thing, but knowing you’ll see your ex-boyfriend there is another. It’s something you can’t avoid, given that she’s set to marry Namjoon, said ex’s best friend, so better to get over this as soon as possible.
It seems easier said than done, though, as you don’t really know what to expect. 
It’s been three years since you packed your bags and left the only home you’d ever known and you haven’t heard from or of him since. It helps when you’ve got friends who know you well enough to not talk about him with you. And while the breakup wasn’t bad, it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. That was seven years of your life, and that’s long enough to have you lose parts of yourself you’d never get back.
You shrug off the thoughts, knowing it wouldn't be a good idea to dive into your feelings right now, minutes before you see him. 
Areum opens the door for you and entangles her arm with yours as you walk the block to your friend’s place. “We’ve got your back, okay?” She affirms. “Tell us when it gets too much and we’ll leave.”
“I’ve had a month’s worth of pep talk from you guys and myself. I’ll be fine, you don’t have to worry about me.”
“Still an option,” Jimin chimes in. “Jungkook was the love of your life at one point, ___. I don’t think any amount of pep talk can really prepare you for seeing him again.”
This time, you hate that Jimin’s right. 
Areum rings the doorbell and shortly after, Da-eun’s sing-song voice greets you, followed by a shriek and inaudible words as you’re enveloped in a hug. 
“Holy shit. ___, is that you?” A familiar deep voice calls out, prompting you to look up at the tall figure standing before you.
“Hi, Joon. It’s me,” you giggle, as your friend pulls away. “Congratulations by the way.”
“I— wow,” the man says, slack jawed. “We didn’t know you’d actually be here. I mean, we sent the invitation as an FYI and—“
“Are you telling me I’m not wanted here?” You playfully cock an eyebrow. 
“No, of course not. We miss you a lot,” Namjoon flashes his comforting dimpled smile. “It’s just… you left so abruptly and we just… didn’t think you’d come back.”
There’s a pang in your chest at his words that you disregard. “Well, I’m here. For good. For now at least,” you smile back. “I hope you have space for one more.”
“Of course, please come in.”
Da-eun drags you inside, excitedly chatting you up and scheduling lunch with you the next day. Your eyes scan the apartment while you listen, greeting and hugging the several people you recall from your college days. 
You do a double take as you settle on a familiar set of doe-eyes, but they’re not hiding behind long dark locks like they used to. 
He has a glass in hand, laughing with a guy in a beret, and even from where you are, you already know what he sounds like.
Surely, no pep talk can prepare you for this. He’s in black jeans and a printed ivory polo, sleeves rolled up to this elbow to reveal his right tattooed arm. He’s got multiple jewelry on both ears and even on his eyebrow, which are easily seen because of his short hair that’s parted in the side. 
You smile at the thought, as he’d long ago ranted about wanting tattoos and piercings but that having them wouldn’t sit well with his parents, given their aspirations for him to become a lawyer, which he was on the way to achieving. You wonder if they’d stopped nagging him about it.
He looks more refined and mature now, if you’re being honest. More than anything, he looks happy. 
You smile at this until he meets your gaze, choking on the drink that’s halfway down his throat. His eyes squint to try to get a better look at you, a habit of his that you always adored. You giggle at this and make your way towards him, your friends urging you with their looks.
You walk around the other people in the living room and by the time you’re near him, his friend has wandered away.  
“___?” His questioning voice greets you.
Looking at him up close causes your heart to skip a beat. He’s even more handsome than you remember, with his cute nose he used to boop yours with, his sharp jawline that got your attention when you met at a college event, and his expressive eyes that always revealed his emotions without him even saying them. 
He has a certain glow that you’re unsure you’ve ever seen on him, and he looks absolutely beautiful.
“Hi, Jungkook. It’s been a while,” you give him a warm smile. “It’s so nice to see you again.”
“Three years is a while?” He giggles, his eyes crinkling, his small laugh a sound that used to make you melt, a stark contrast to his strength and now, to his tattooed and pierced look. 
“You know me and my sense of time,” you return.
“I do, actually.” He mirrors your smile. “But it’s nice to see you, too.”
You groan at the faint knock on your door, curious as to its unsure sound but irked at its timing. It had been another sleepless night. Waking up at 5AM, you decided to just do the chores that you’re in charge of this weekend, since your roommates Jimin and Areum are off to another out-of-town date and Yoongi is in his hometown to watch a concert.
You finished half an hour ago and had fallen asleep with the TV on - a usual Sunday occurrence whether you clean or not. Work is tiring enough as it is and your once energetic and wandering self has slowly lost its inspiration to do your weekend market explorations and ice cream runs by the river. 
Your mind has stepped on the brake of making plans, of trying out new things, of joining your friends on weeknights or even weekends for some karaoke or drinks at a rooftop bar. 
The 7-day week is just not enough, even more so a 2-day weekend. Saturdays are usually spent with Jungkook, and Sunday is the only time you have for yourself, which you usually spend sleeping or chowing down your favorite ice cream or watching your house flipping shows. 
It’s why you’re confused when you see your boyfriend standing by your door, with an expression on his face that you can’t quite read. You used to be good at that, figuring him out, but it seems that you haven’t been good at it for a while.
“Kook? What are you doing here?” 
Jungkook knows you don’t mean it in a bad way, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. He remembers a time when you’d excitedly ask him when the next time you’d see him would be. He realizes now that you haven’t done that in a long while. There used to be elation when he’d tell you that he could spare some time aside from your usual Saturday house dates. He realizes, too, that he hasn’t heard that squeal nor seen the eye-reaching smile you used to greet him with for some time.
Perhaps it’s another sign he was hoping he wouldn’t get. 
You were supposed to see each other yesterday but you had a work event and he didn’t mind, as he had a paper to work on, too. 
“Alright, I’ll see you next week,” you’d said. Not even Sunday, which would’ve been today. 
He thought about that a lot; too much, in fact, that he didn’t finish his paper. He didn’t actually get much done for the rest of the week, failing his graded recitation and barely passing a pop quiz. 
There was a time when you’d make time out to visit him in his dorm near the university if he was too busy to see you on a weekend. It didn’t matter if it was too far from your place, or if you were too tired. You’d go regardless because you wanted to see him.
He realized yesterday that he doesn’t remember the last time you’d visited him there. 
You hadn’t seen each other in three weeks - work and law school have done that to both of you. That last time you were together was just like any - he came over to your place, like he had whenever you agreed to meet up. He brought lunch, you had sex, then tried to watch a movie you both passively decided on, had sex again, slept, then you ordered dinner. The same thing that happened the week before that. Then the week before that. And before that.
It wasn’t the stagnancy that bothered him; it was your passiveness. Your dates used to consist of cafe hopping and shopping and hitting the gym - a little something for each of your interests - but somewhere along the way, you’d both resigned to staying at your place. Sex and food. They’d become the only things you now shared. 
But it was still time with you, and he always enjoyed it wherever you spent it, no matter how little, and regardless of what you did. But he can’t really say the same for you.
It’s not that you don’t have time for each other anymore - that never seemed to be an issue. “We don’t find time for each other, Kook,” you used to say. “We make time.” Now you barely do. 
You used to send texts that you miss him already after he’d just left your apartment. You used to send him new date spots you’d found online or a new restaurant you wanted to try or a new movie that’s out. You used to be excited for study and work dates. 
You used to make itineraries for trips you’ll both take one day.
You used to remind him about how simple you want his proposal to be.
You used to urge him to visualize your wedding theme and laugh about the entrance songs you’d have.
You used to go over baby names and the kinds of bedtime stories you’d tell them.
That day when you didn’t bring him to the door for a goodbye kiss is when it hit him - he doesn’t remember the last times. The proper date. The thoughtful gift. The calendared trips. 
The planned future. The one you used to be so sure about. The one you made him believe in. The one you’re supposed to share together. 
His mind has been paying more attention to things since then and it sent him into a spiral. You’ve never felt so far away from him. And he’d never felt more alone. 
Seven years with you and it’s the first time he’d ever felt this. Your sweet notes, your little gifts, your cute surprises, your loving looks, your soft caresses. Your emotion-filled ‘I love you’s.’ He used to hang on to them. But how can you hang onto something that’s been slowly withering away?
He doesn’t remember the last time he looked at you and felt loved. 
What hurts him more is that deep down, he knows exactly why. 
“Kook,” You repeat impatiently. “Is there something you need?”
You stand by your door with your arms crossed, as if it hadn’t been three weeks since the last time you’d seen each other. 
“Can we, uhm. Can we talk?” He asks nervously, unable to meet your eyes. 
You slowly drop your arms and turn your gaze away. “Yeah. I think we need to.”
Jungkook follows you to the living room where you pull aside the blanket on the couch and sit some feet away from him, your hands clasping together and throat drying. 
You let the silence envelop you both, something that’s been a companion of yours for the past year or so. The tension is much thicker now and as you glance at him, with his elbows on his knees and head buried in his hands, you know that the day you’d once dreaded has come. 
You feel your tears fall down as he releases a long breath, his sniffles following shortly after. From your peripheral vision, you can see his sweater paws cover his eyes.
He knows it. So do you. 
That’s why you both sit there, with the distance between you feeling even more suffocating, and you let your joint cries fill the space with the heartbreak that’s something you’re both slowly starting to accept.
“I thought it was normal,” he starts. “I actually thought it was good; that we’d gotten so used to each other, to the comfort, to everyday life, whether we were together or not. I didn’t realize it was us already falling apart. And I don’t really know when it started.”
But you knew. It started when the intimate moments lost their intimacy, when the ‘good mornings’ and ‘good nights’ lost their meaning somewhere along the way. It’s when the ‘how was your days’ were just out of habit, both of you being too preoccupied to read between the lines. It’s when the conversations only revolved around him complaining about his professors and you about work. It’s when the silence lost its comfort, when everything else became noise. When missing him became too tiring, until you stopped missing him altogether. 
Truth be told, Jungkook knew it, too. It started when sex had become his form of stress relief, when the giggles and pillowtalk died down until he’d forgotten how they sounded like. When the weekend dates had slowly become a chore. It’s when he’d stopped asking if anything was wrong whenever you sounded upset or unreceptive, when he wouldn’t call back if you didn’t answer the first time. When he’d seen the admiration in your eyes turn to sadness, then resignation, then pity. It’s when you stopped trying, and so did he.
But neither one of you has the heart to voice these out, unwilling to accept them with finality - that somewhere down the road, you’d stopped fighting for each other. 
He turns to you, waiting until you turn to him, too. “I tried to make sense of it in my head because you always held me together, you know? I’d look at you and no matter how down or stressed or confused I was, you were always the answer.”
“And now?” You finally find your voice.
“Now?” He croaks. “I can’t look at you without feeling like I’m a failure. Because you look at me like one. And I can’t blame you.”
The tears waterfall down your face as you try to hold yourself together. You see him stop himself from reaching out to you, as he tucks his clenched fists under his arms. 
“Kook, you know I don’t mean that.”
“I’d rather that you do because that’s easier to accept than knowing that the love just died. That we just fell out of it. I’m losing you because I disappointed you, because I failed you, not because we stopped loving each other.”
“Why is that easier?” You question. 
“Because I can blame myself. And I would rather that I carry that blame than you.”
“Is that how you want this to end? Me blaming you?”
“What would you blame yourself for?”
“We don’t have to blame anyone. It doesn’t have to be someone’s fault,” you argue. “I don’t want you to carry this with you.”
“But I will, because I know this is on me,” he says with a heavy sigh. “At least, that’s where I trace it to. I’m the one who failed law school more than once, but I keep trying because I don’t know what else to do, because I can’t break my parents’ hearts and so I end up breaking yours. You talk about your 10-year plan with me and I can’t even think past tomorrow.”
Jungkook wipes the tears that he can no longer control. “That’s not fair to you, to keep on waiting for me to get my shit together. Because I know you’re tired, you’ve been waiting so long. That’s why you stopped trying.”
“And that’s not fair to you, too.” You fill the silence with your words.
“I don’t know how not to love you, but I also know I’m not doing it right anymore. I’m not what you need anymore, ___.” 
It hit him like a truck that day, looking at you as he went out the door, searching for the light of your smile and finding that the sparkle in your eyes was no longer there. He doesn’t know how to bring those back. 
“I haven’t been good to you, Kook. You’re not the only one disappointing the person you love,” you admit. “But I’ve given so much of myself and my time for you and I don’t know how much longer I can do that. I keep thinking of future ‘us’ because how we are now isn’t making either one of us happy anymore.” 
It was an epiphany on your end as you cried to Areum one day, thinking of the immense love you have for someone you’d spent the last seven years with, but how that has plateaued and you’re finding that it’s not enough for it to see you through another year anymore. Seven years is too long a time to not be moving forward.
Move in together, get engaged, get married, have children. It’s a future you’d held onto until you could no longer imagine how that would look like, with all the time that's passed. The excitement of all the things you’d do together died down, and you’d found it hard to look forward to anything. 
“I can’t have you keep waiting for me and I can’t keep disappointing you, ___.”
There’s a quiet and mutual acceptance of how things are. It’s ironic how in the moment when all the emotions and issues are expressed, it’s the time you both agree. 
That’s what happens sometimes. People don’t just grow apart, they stop growing in love, too.
He moves closer to your crying form and takes your hand in his. He kisses it, slowly, as if to savor your touch one last time. He doesn’t want to do more, afraid he’ll want to take everything back, so he settles for this. His goodbye.
You bask in this, too, the feel of his lips on your skin, an effort to soothe your hearts that are aching. There’s pain, but there’s trust that it was not intended, that it was not meant to hurt. It only does because it was real. The love is there, it’s just not what you both need. 
You look at him with a smile, the warmest one you’ve given him in a while. Amidst a flow of tears, you mouth your ‘I love you’s,’ and you keep in your heart the hope that if you don’t find each other again in this lifetime, you will in the next. Maybe then it’ll be enough, and you could spend the rest of your lives together. You hope. And that’s  your goodbye.
Jungkook stands up and heads out. He looks at you one last time. There’s still no light in your smile nor a sparkle in your eyes. If he’s lucky, maybe he’ll see them again one day. 
The door clicks and your world shatters. Quietly, but surely. Just like how it ended. No fight, no raised voices, no gasping for air, no pleading to fix it. 
It’s part of life, you think - you hurt as much as you love, and the way you feel right now only tells you one thing - you love him with everything you have. 
The days turn into weeks. 
You go through everyday as usual, but with weekends spent at your parents’ and some weeknights with Areum, Jimin, and Yoongi at a cafe or a park. 
Your friends have gotten used to your silence, though. They hold your hand when it starts to shake, sleep next to you when you’re unable, remind you of basic things when you forget, finish your sentence because you lose your train of thought.
This is how you break. Slowly. It’s not sobbing while you eat ice cream. It’s quietly crying - while you take a shower, while you make your coffee, while you lie in bed at night. It’s not the pounding in your head nor the excruciating pain in your chest. It’s feeling like there’s nothing inside you - just hollow and numb. How are you supposed to feel when half of you is gone? 
But that part of you that’s left thrives. It continues to live and hope and seek that excitement, seek that joy somewhere, anywhere. 
It’s two months later during breakfast when you tell them.
“I’m pushing through with the design course in Melbourne,” you say in between sips of your coffee. 
Areum can’t help the smile on her face. “The one you deferred last year?”
You nod. 
It was an impulsive application, as you were on a high from your visit to your sister. Jungkook couldn’t join you because of school so you’d gone on your own and fell in love with the city. You joked about moving there, but deep down it was a desire you suppressed because your life had always been here. The love of your life was here. There’s nothing keeping you from leaving now.
“I think it’ll be good,” Jimin says. “You talk about it all the time. I always felt like you just needed a reason to leave. Now you do.”
It’s another month later when it finally happens. 
“I’ll miss you but I hope you find it,” Yoongi whispers as you give him the final hug.
“Find what?”
“Yourself? Your joy? Your inspiration? Whatever it was that you lost here. I hope you find it.”
“What about love, Yoon?” You ask, genuinely curious.
“That’ll follow, ___.” He smiles, and it’s that push you need to enter the airport gates, off the place where you hope you’ll find all those things, too.
The days turn into weeks. 
Jungkook goes through a dizzying roller coaster of emotions. Some mornings he wakes up energized - he goes through his readings with ease, aces his recitation, and analyzes the assigned cases well. 
Some nights he can’t sleep, tossing and turning in his bed, trying to erase the image of you from his mind. The pain is constant, demanding itself to be felt, reminding him of what he lost, of what he didn’t fight for. 
Losing you had been effortless, but why is it becoming more difficult convincing himself that he did what he had to? 
It’s in the third month when he realizes he’s been at the bottom far longer than usual, feeling like a shell of the man he once was, losing focus, finding himself lost and uninspired. 
“I just feel like I need to see her,” Jungkook tells Namjoon and Jin, his college roommates and best friends, over bottles of beer. “I just… I need to hear her tell me that I’m okay, that I’ll get through this.”
“Why do you need to hear it from her? We tell you this everyday, Jungkook.” Jin eyes Namjoon, as the pair tries to get a feel of who should be the comforter or the reality checker this time. 
“I’m lost and confused and I miss her. Maybe when I look at her this time, I’ll know the answer.”
“What if you see her and still feel like a failure?” Jin asks.
Jungkook stares into his empty glass. “Isn't that still an answer?”
It’s shortly after when he decides to go to your place, his heart beating out of his chest. He left parts of himself with you here and he’s desperate to find even the smallest pieces to feel even a semblance of the man he was when he was with you.
Curious eyes greet him as the door opens, something that Jungkook returns. Da-eun is a good friend of yours but had always lived with her wealthy parents; he’d rarely seen her here.
“Can I see her?” He asks.
“She’s… she’s not here, Jungkook.”
“I can wait then,” he sighs. “I just… I just need to see her.”
“I mean, she’s not here anymore,” Da-eun responds, the sadness in her voice permeating through his veins. “She left a week ago.”
“Where… where did she go?”
“Australia, to her sister.” Yoongi appears in the hallway, a sullen look on his face. “She’s there to study and work, thinking that a change of scenery would be good.”
The hole in Jungkook’s heart comes out of nowhere, and he feels it getting bigger by the second. Suddenly he can’t breathe. 
“She loved it there,” Jungkook stammers. “I missed that trip with her. She used to say she couldn’t wait for us to go together.” He sighs. “I’m glad she made the move.”
Yoongi and Da-eun watch him try to hold himself up, seeking support by the door as he furiously wipes the tears from his eyes. 
“She left a few things,” Yoongi says. “You’re free to take them if you want.”
“That’s not necessary,” Jungkook replies, head down as he wills his cries to stop. “I’ll go ahead. Thanks, guys.”
“Take care of yourself,” are the last words he hears as he walks away.
They fall on deaf ears, as two weeks later, Jungkook hears the loud banging on his door and the jingling of keys. 
He’s ready for the lecture, for his friends to pull him from underneath the covers and slap some sense into him. But they don’t happen. 
Instead he hears the clanking of broken glass, of his bookshelf being propped back up on the wall, of his books being stacked on top of each other. And then it’s his dishes being washed, then the washing machine turning on, then some more sweeping, and more things being arranged. 
“There’s a place to go if you want to destroy things,” Namjoon says. “Don’t do that to your home.”
“This isn’t home,” Jungkook sighs.
“We’ll take you there,” Jin says, sitting on the edge of the bed and removing the pillows and blankets over his friend. “Your parents asked us to fix your papers, file your LOA then drive you back to Busan.” 
Jungkook sits up, puffy eyes and dark crescent moons painted underneath. His collarbones and ribs are protruding without effort. “I didn’t get my answer. She left even before I could.”
“Maybe you’ll find it somewhere else.” Namjoon kneels next to him. “Whatever it is, it’s not here.” There’s a crack in his voice that Jungkook’s never heard before. “Do it for yourself, Kook. Do it for her.” 
Jungkook looks at his best friends, fear and worry painted on their faces. There was you, then his parents, then his friends. He’s run out of people to disappoint. He can’t do any worse than this.
“I don’t know what to do,” he sobs, burying his face in his hands. “Please, take me home.”
This is how he breaks. Like he was floating aimlessly until he crashed to the ground, the shell of what he once was shattering at the impact, with pieces of himself scattering all over. It was a false sense of comfort, thinking that he’d be okay with losing you, knowing that this was his choice, his call. That he could live with the blame like he’d said, but he was wrong. The pain cuts through like a knife, and he’s afraid he’d let it stay there.
Life is funny sometimes, Jungkook thinks. 
He has a favorite black jacket that he left at your apartment all those years ago; it was in the box that Yoongi offered for him to take the day that Jungkook went looking for you only to learn you’d already left. He said no then, but later changed his mind. It was something you’d bought him and a piece of your relationship he wanted to keep, so weeks after that day, he went back to your place with Namjoon. It was that day when his best friend met Da-eun.
Three years later, Jungkook reunites with you at the engagement party of your friends, who’d met because of a jacket that he just had to retrieve. One that is currently hanging inside the coat closet of this very apartment. 
He can’t help but laugh at the thought. 
“What is it?” You giggle, knowing his tendency to zone out then laugh at something he remembers.
“I was just thinking we can claim that those two lovebirds are getting married because of us,” Jungkook motions towards your friends, hands wrapped around each other’s waists, entertaining the guests.
“We can,” you chuckle, thinking back to Da-eun shyly telling you over your weekly video call with your best friends some years ago about her liking Namjoon. “That should be part of your wedding speech for him.”
“Oh it will be. That way I can claim that I did something for him for once in our lives.”
“Hmm,” you sip on your champagne. “I can’t wait to hear that speech.”
Jungkook’s ears perk up. “Glad to know you’ll still be here by then.”
“I’m back for good, Jungkook,” you peer at him. “I’ll definitely be here, for their wedding, their baby shower, their kid’s 5th birthday. I’ll be here for everything.”
“Melbourne wasn’t all you thought it would be?” He smiles with a cocked eyebrow, wishing you wouldn’t take it the wrong way. And you don’t.
“Oh, it was everything I thought it would be,” you smile. “But I’d taken what I needed from there, found whatever it was I was looking for.”
Jungkook doesn’t prod, unsure if he’s ready to find out what you mean, which really could be anything. But seeing you now after so long, looking even more beautiful than he remembers, he doesn’t want to break this little bubble you’ve both created in the past 5 minutes since you walked over to greet him. 
“If that’s the case, I’m really happy for you ____."
“Thank you, that means a lot, Jungkook.” 
You mirror his smile, one that he missed so much. It’s what he stopped seeing on you during that last year of your relationship, and this is what he hoped then, that you’d have this look on you once more. 
He sips on his glass, his lifted arm revealing a bit of the tattoos decorated there.
“And you?” You gesture to the black ink. “Your parents finally convinced that tattoos can actually be covered and you wouldn’t go to court and meet clients in short sleeves?”
“Well, they’re still not crazy about the idea, but as a guy who runs his own video production company, I don’t need to hide it, do I?” He smirks.
Your lips part and your eyes widen in amusement. “You did it? I mean, you’ve only talked about it in passing but… wait, what about law school?”
“It wasn’t for me. I mean, I think failing classes multiple times should’ve been the giveaway,” he scratches the back of his neck. “But yeah, my parents kinda figured that out, too.”
The silence is palpable but it’s not tense nor awkward. You’re just looking at him, trying to wrap your head around what he’d just said. 
“Taehyung is actually running it with me,” he motions to the guy in a beret whom he was talking to earlier.
The said man pipes in. “There you go, about time you mention me.” He turns to you with a sweet smile and puts his hand out. “I’m Taehyung.”
“Hi,” you return. “I’m ___.”
“Oh,” Taehyung says with a slightly embarrassed look. He recovers with another smile, shaking his head. “You. I mean—“ he winces at Jungkook’s glare. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“So, business partners, you say?” 
“Yeah. We were actually schoolmates in elementary and met up again as a pair of lost, 20-somethings living off our parents’ hard-earned money,” Taehyung says nonchalantly. “One day we just said, screw it, let’s set up our own business. Thanks to my charms, we got things rolling.”
“Yes, it was all totally because of his charms,” Jungkook playfully rolls his eyes.
“He’s a pretty good video guy, too,” Taehyung adds, causing laughter from all three of you.
“That sounds amazing, really. I mean, I didn’t know you went back to Busan,” you tell Jungkook.
“I needed a change of scenery, I guess. But we saw an opportunity here. We’ve filmed music videos for some of the artists that Namjoon wrote songs for so we had a pretty good start.”
His smile is shy but it’s genuine, and even then, he holds himself with so much pride. Jungkook always enjoyed being behind the camera, offering his services to friends back in college for any school project that needed filming done. 
You always thought it was a viable career option for him but his parents never thought so, adamant that becoming a lawyer was the direction for him. You knew it was their frustration and had wanted Jungkook to live out their dream, and he just followed because it was the only path he’d known. 
And now, you can tell how fulfilled he is, as both men share stories of the videos they filmed and the clients they’ve catered to. They also film for advertisements and a few events. It’s just been over a year but it seems like they’re a pretty on-demand duo.
“What about you? I don’t think I’ve seen you around yet,” Taehyung states with a slightly innocent smile on his face.
You don’t know how much he knows but you indulge him anyway. “I just got back from Australia yesterday, actually. I was away for three years.”
“Hmm,” Taehyung cocks an eyebrow. “Any reason why you came back?”
“A dream job offer,” you smile. “I get to work on design and write about it.”
“Oh you’re a designer? Maybe you could—“ Taehyung gets cut off by a glass on his mouth that isn’t by his own doing.
“Finish your drink, Tae, so you can sober up quickly and drive home safely,” Jungkook says. “Can you grab me a beer when you get your water? Thank you!” He says, pushing his friend away.
“And you’re not sobering up?” You giggle.
“Joon asked me to sleep over,” Jungkook smiles as he finishes his drink. “But yeah, maybe I should slow down a bit so I could make sure that Jin doesn’t further embarrass himself in front of that girl he likes.” He motions to his other best friend, who’s clearly drunk trying to do a handstand.
“Oh my god, he hasn’t changed one bit,” you chuckle. 
Jungkook joins you in laughter until he excuses himself to help Jin out. You settle with your friends with their smug faces, asking how the little reunion went.
“Better than I expected. I mean, I didn’t embarrass myself and he doesn’t seem to hate me,” you say. “And he’s been doing so well and I think he’s really happy.”
“You still read him so well, huh?” Areum nudges you.
“When we broke up and for a time before that, he barely looked me in the eyes. In those 20 minutes we were talking, that’s all he did.”
“I’m just saying, I learned proper client engagement from Tae and he always badgered me about looking the person you’re talking to in the eyes. I was just applying what I learned,” Jungkook raises his arms up in surrender.
“Yeah, but she’s not your client and that seemed more,” Jin states matter-of-factly as he pops a fry in his mouth. 
It’s the next week and Namjoon and Da-eun had invited you all for lunch to go over some wedding details.
“You were just imagining things,” Jungkook laughs. 
He may lie to his friends but he won’t lie to himself - seeing you was something he wasn’t expecting, as basing it on your social media account, you seemed to be really enjoying Melbourne. He’d only heard from his friends that you were invited to the engagement party but didn’t hold out hope you’d actually come. It's also one thing to show up but another to actually be staying here for good.
You looked so beautiful that night, in your black and white polka-dotted dress and red heels. You had a glow about you and he just needed to know if the light in your smile was back and if the sparkle in your eyes had returned.
They have, and he wanted to savor them until the next time he could see them again.
The teasing continues until the familiar sounds of your friends’ voices echo in the walls of the restaurant. There you are, too, that glow radiating off of you. While you laugh with a man with platinum-colored hair, who pulls the chair for you to sit on. Right in front of Jungkook.
“Hi,” you smile, like you didn’t just cause a tiny crack in his heart. 
“This is Hoseok, by the way.” You motion to the man next to you. “Met him in Melbourne and he’s home to visit family.”
You briefly meet Jungkook’s gaze before he turns away. Maybe last week had just been out of excitement, you think.
Hoseok quickly engages with the group, especially with Da-eun whom he’d bonded with the few times she visited you. Things feel so natural, with Jin as the resident entertainer asking Hoseok questions to ease the tension, until he says, “so you and ___ are just friends?”
You and Hoseok look at each other before you giggle. 
“Yes, I have a partner back home,” Hoseok confirms. 
Jungkook doesn’t miss the smirk that your friend gives him, and he releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding. 
He’d only hoped for that light and that sparkle to return to your face and for that moment when he thought it was because of another man, that nook in his heart and his mind that cradled that thought of you holding out for him, shriveled a bit. 
Jungkook may have handled himself well that first night he saw you unexpectedly, but with you back home for good, carrying with you the life and memories you created without him, it makes him wonder if he’ll be able to make it through, seeing how you’re both now bonded by the love that your friends are now sharing.
Lunch goes by smoothly, with conversations flowing, inside jokes being shared, and plans being made as you count down the months to the wedding, with the engaged pair insisting that they want to spend as much time with their friends as possible.
The discussion ends up being about Jungkook and Taehyung’s company, how they started, and how they’re slowly establishing a market.
“We’re actually going to be featured in a magazine,” Taehyung announces. “Well, Jungkook is. They’re touting him as someone to watch out for because of his video creating brilliance. It’s good marketing.”
“I thought you’re the charmer?” You tease.
“Yeah, with the oldies. They’re whipped for me,” Taehyung smirks. “But this guy,” he points to Jungkook, “he’s the real crowd pleaser. One look at him then the clients want to contract us right away. I mean, why wouldn’t they? Look at him!” 
Jungkook playfully slaps Taehyung’s hand off his face, as his friend pinches his cheeks and chin.
You internally blush because there’s no denying that Jungkook had gotten more handsome the past years, and while you were initially not sold on it when you were together, you’ve got to admit that the tattoos and piercings add to his attractiveness. 
“So, how’s the magazine feature coming along,” you query.
“It’s three months away, actually. I had to request to move the date because we're swamped with projects and I wanted to focus on those,” Jungkook explains.
“He’s semi-lying because actually,” Taehyung now slaps his friend’s hand away from him, “he just moved out of our shared place and into his own apartment because I don’t know, he’s grown up now or someth— ouch!”
“The photoshoot is supposed to be done there as like a ‘get-to-know the creator’ type of thing and well,” Namjoon continues, far from Jungkook who can’t touch him. “It’s not photoshoot worthy, let’s just say.”
“Why not?” You ask.
“It’s so bare and uninspiring,” Jin pipes in. “Who would believe someone creates there?”
“It’s because I do the creating in my office,” Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“And that’s why we convinced you to get your own place so you’d actually not live in the office anymore and have an actual home,” Jin rolls his eyes back. “Seriously, ___. His office is basically his living studio with a mattress and a makeshift kitchenette. It’s not working.”
“Thanks, I appreciate the support,” Jungkook says sarcastically.
“But that is great marketing, letting readers into your home. Adds to the image of the company,” you smile.
“Yeah, it just needs to actually look like a home,” Taehyung says.
“I’m working on it,” Jungkook grunts. “I have some furniture already and I don’t wanna spend a lot on interior designers who'll just design it the way they want then I’ll have to live with it all for a small magazine feature.”
“You literally can tell them what you want, Jungkook. They consult you, you know,” Areum pipes in.
“Yeah but I don’t like talking.” Jungkook sinks in his seat, feeling exposed in front of you this way.
“Well, if it’s about just designing a space, ___ can do that for you,” Hoseok states this time. “That’s literally how we met. My fashion studio needed some beautification and that’s what she did!”
“Totally. We used the best friend card when she advised us on how to design our apartment,” Jimin says.
“You can use the ex-boyfriend card,” Yoongi snickers. 
You’re the one scowling now.
Everyone erupts in laughter and he flashes you his gummy smile in apology even if he knows he’s gonna get scolded by you later.
“There’s no need,” Jungkook shyly smiles. “I can manage.”
Maybe it’s because of how soft he looks right now, or how proud you are of him for putting himself out there when he’d always been so shy to do so. Maybe it’s wanting to help him out, knowing that it’ll be good for the company.
Or maybe it’s yearning to peek into his world, explore what you left behind, be selfish in wanting to see if there are still parts of you remaining. 
“I’ll do it,” you exclaim, prompting him to turn to you with wide eyes. “I can’t really call myself an interior designer but I work in design and I’ll help in whatever way I can.”
Jungkook’s words get stuck in his throat, as his mind wanders to the time he’ll be spending with you if he agrees, especially if it will be just the two of you. 
But he’s nodding as you tell him that you’re offering your services but he doesn’t have to respond right away, given that you also have a schedule that he’ll have to work around. 
It’s a week later when a few of your friends are at your apartment, sort of a welcome thing that Areum and Da-eun convinced you to have since you’ve been away for so long, that Jungkook finds you in your tiny balcony, looking out at the city.
“Hey, is it okay if I join you?” A familiar voice asks. You’d been out here to get some air and alone time, after you’d helped Hoseok puke his guts out and tucked him in your bed for the night. 
“Sure.” You make space next to you and motion for Jungkook to take his place by your side. 
“How are you liking it back home?” He asks.
“It’s been great,” you smile. “I got my family over this week since I’ve spruced up the place. I’ve been seeing some friends, too, and I really have missed everyone.”
“Your place looks really good, ___. I’d be stupid not to accept your offer of working on mine.”
He’s biting his lips and not meeting your gaze, and you giggle at how nervous he looks. He used to ask for your help over the littlest things before because he wanted to spend time with you even if it was just you editing his paper while you were sandwiched between his legs. Now he looks so shy considering it and it feels bittersweet.
“Yes, you’d be,” you laugh. “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime quality service I’m offering here. Plus I’m letting you use the ex-boyfriend card so just pay for my coffee and we’re good.”
“___, I can’t not pay you.”
“I won’t accept it if you insist,” you smile.
“Fine. Can I add lunch to that payment?”
There’s sincerity in his eyes, a quiet confidence that appeared out of nowhere. 
Jungkook thought about this for a week, what spending time with you would mean. He’s not usually an overthinker, but he couldn’t help it with you. He’s missed you, thought about you a lot while you were away, and he’d only hoped for your return. Now you’re back and he’s drawn to you again, like how he was over a decade ago when you’d first met. There’s no hidden agenda, just pure desire to catch up. 
“Lunch would be wonderful,” you try to not sound too excited. 
You’d thought about this for a week, too. You tried not to think of him when you were away, afraid that any moment of weakness would convince you to go back. But after seeing him, you’d just been longing to know how he’d been, how life has been like. It’s genuine, the care you have for him. You’re seeing in his eyes that it’s the same for him, too.
“I hope this isn’t weird, though,” he laughs. “I mean, we, uh…” He scratches the back of his head.
“We agreed on the breakup, Jungkook. It was heartbreaking but I hope you know I wasn’t angry or anything,” you clarify. “I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye but—“
“You had to,” he stammers. “I… Well, you always talked about Australia and you took the chance to move there when you did. I just hope I got to tell you how proud I was of you. And happy. I'm really happy for you.”
He holds your gaze and you can’t help the warmth you’re feeling at his words. 
“I’m really proud and happy for you, too, Jungkook. You’re doing what you love to do, and I can only imagine the hard work it took for you to get here,” you say, wanting to hold his hand in comfort but stopping yourself.
“Thank you, that means a lot.”
“So don’t make this weird and I won’t,” you tease. “We can look at your place next week, then we can meet again and I can show you my plans.”
“Sounds good, ___. Coffee before my place, then.”
You’ve missed the warmth and energy of a cafe in Seoul, and you try not to think too much about how searching for a new one to try used to be one of your favorite dates with Jungkook. 
Your eyes are wandering, appreciating the minimal design yet cozy feel of the cafe when the door opens and Jungkook comes in, clad in ripped jeans and a plain white shirt, greets the barista, and searches the place. He breaks into a smile as he sees you and you stand to greet him in reflex, realizing what that implies.
You stand in front of each other awkwardly, until you both burst into laughter.
“Oh, what the hell? We’re having coffee. Come here,” he opens his arms out and you approach him and hug him back, smiling into his white musk scent. 
“What does having coffee have anything to do with giving you a hug?” You giggle.
“Nothing, actually, I don’t know why I said that.”
You return his smile and proceed to order, with Jungkook recommending their best-sellers, all of which happen to be your favorites. It’s not lost on you that he knows this, too, but there’s comfort in knowing he hasn’t forgotten.
The food and drinks are decided on, with a slice of pie on the house because apparently, Jungkook’s team covered the launch of the cafe when it reopened after rebranding, hence why he's a regular here. 
“You sure it’s that and not because the server has a crush on you?” You cock an eyebrow, having noticed the flirty smile on the server’s face right as Jungkook entered.
“Hmm, maybe it is, but she’s written her number on the coffee cup multiple times and I never called; she probably got the message,” he shrugs.
“Oh wow, what a heartbreaker,” you tease. “Is that part of your image now, huh?” 
“Tae says it adds to the charm,” he states. “I guess it works though since she still gives me free food every time.”
You both laugh and the conversation takes off. He shows photos of his apartment and shares what he envisioned when he chose it, which isn’t much. He just needed space big enough to work in and do his exercise since he doesn’t want to spend on a gym membership. 
You make notes as you go and it’s not long after when you leave the cafe and walk the two blocks to his apartment.
“So, this is the place,” Jungkook says, as he stands in the middle of his semi-empty living room, boasting the “super comfy” leather couch he got for a cheap price online. 
It’s a nice loft that he got for a steal, he shares, with good storage space for his exercise equipment that he uses in the common area. The lone upstairs bedroom has a spacious corner, where he wishes to set up his working space. He likes the floor-to-ceiling windows that make up for the lack of outside space, which is fine since there’s a park not far away.
You watch him talk about what else he needs, which is definitely a lot, and he laughs at himself for some of the silly purchases he’s made because the low price attracted him, that last bit not surprising to you. 
In this space that is his own - far from the university dorm he didn’t like you visiting him in because of how tiny and unkept it was - where he can rest and create, he looks so free and so much more like himself. Even in your seven years together, it wasn’t a normal occasion seeing him look this proud and this happy. 
“I don’t want to limit your creativity so buy whatever you want, don’t mind my budget,” he breaks you out of your thoughts.
“Am I hearing this right?” You fake gasp. “Jeon Jungkook not minding the budget?”
He playfully rolls his eyes. “I obviously have terrible judgment when it comes to purchasing items but I trust you that you’ll make this place feel like home without breaking the bank,” he laughs.
There’s a glimmer in his eyes that you match and you want nothing more than for this place to be something he loves and be even more proud of. 
“This was a good purchase and I promise you it’ll look better once we’ve spruced it up. I want you to be really happy here, you deserve it,” you say softly.
“I know I will be,” he returns. 
He breaks the comfortable silence by offering to tour you around and taking photos of the areas you ask. He takes you upstairs and begs for you to find him a nice bed so he could replace the mattress he took from his apartment with Taehyung. You assure him of this and ask more questions about how he wants his bedroom to look and what kind of storage he needs.
“Not much,” he says. “I’ve just got a few personal things in here and most of them I’d rather keep in the boxes.” 
He doesn’t meet your gaze this time and there’s that thought in your head about which parts of you remain and that maybe, he feels it’s better to keep those in the boxes. Out of sight, out of mind, you think, and you can’t blame him. You left him in boxes, too, afraid of what you’d find if you dared open them. 
It’s cliche, but that box which held seven years of your life was kept in the far corner of your closet until you left them with your friends when you moved. It contained many things, like the hedgehog stuffed toy he bought when you said it was cute but couldn’t afford getting a pet, or the dandelion glass lamp he got you as a birthday gift because you insist that’s how fairies are made, or the multiple music boxes he’d find online and surprised you with because you said it was your comfort item. When you returned, they gave them back to you and there again, in the far corner of your closet, is where it lies. 
“I think I got everything I need here, Jungkook,” you finally say. “I got the photos and noted your wishlist and I’ll come up with a mood board to guide us.”
“I’ll wait for your call, then. Next time, let’s have lunch.”
With your respective busy schedules, you and Jungkook can only really meet on Sundays for a few hours of shopping, and that always includes lunch. After that first tour, you presented to him your plans, from the color palette to the affordable items you found online. You saved on labor costs by assigning his best friends on paint duty and your friends on furniture assembly responsibilities. 
Taehyung convinced Jungkook to have you work on the other rooms that won’t be featured in the photoshoot but still need some love, like his closet and bathroom. They all needed lighting, storage organizers, and design pieces so that they wouldn't look out of place.
You were happy to work on those and only cost you one Wednesday evening before the rest of the items like the pillows, rugs, and paintings arrived. 
It’s on that last Friday night, the day before the photoshoot, that you show up at Jungkook’s, ready for the final touches, as the linens and other decorative pieces were delivered as well. All your friends are set to arrive some time later, and you want to surprise them with the new look, as they haven’t seen the place since they helped out a few weeks ago. 
“I got you a little something, too.” You hand him the box with a bow on top and he cutely scrunches his eyebrows at the unexpected gift.  
“You’re the one doing this for free and now give me a gift, too?” He whines but proceeds to open it, his eyes widening in joy at the single-serve coffee maker that he was eyeing at one of the stores you went to. “You didn’t have to get me this.”
“My boss got a voucher and I sweetly asked her for it. I saved 40%,” you wink. 
That appeases him and he gets out the other things inside. You bite your lip as he looks at the scented candles you got him.
“You used to like the bamboo scent I had in my bathroom and just thought that you would… you know, want them here, too,” you say shyly, worried of what he might think.
His smile softens at the gesture because he does love this scent and had been looking for the ones you had but the brand name always escaped him. More than anything, it warms him that of all the gifts you could give, it was this, one that reminded you of your time together.
“I love it,” he says, smelling it. “Just like how I remember.”
You smile and turn away, then decide to work on his bedroom before your friends arrive while he cleans up in the living room and prepares it for dinner. 
You pull the crate that holds some of the pieces you’ll set up in the built-in shelf - a vintage camera, framed photos of his friends and family, basketball player figurines, and some decorative items. 
Clearly, this shelf isn’t made for not-so-tall people like you, as you try to grab on the sides and other things you can hold onto to keep your balance. As you try to place a frame on the top shelf, you mistakenly grab on a box that falls over before you could catch it, causing all its content to spill on the floor right next to you.
Movie tickets, birthday cards, little notes of good luck on your exam and I miss you, comic strip doodles, photo booth picture strips, and trinkets bring a surge of memories - all seven years of love and laughter and pain in a box. But this one doesn’t live in the far corner of his closet; it’s living on a shelf by his bed, where all his favorite things have found their home.
Jungkook quickly runs up the stairs at the sound of something falling, loudly asking if you’re okay, only to find you knelt down on the floor with a longing smile on your face.
“I was looking for this! I sure thought I lost it but it’s been with you all this time?” You giggle, picking up a photo strip that you both took during a college fair. “And oh my god, this was the cheesiest and cringiest thing I ever wrote to you,” you scowl at a love letter. “I told you to burn this!” 
You uncover more things and laugh at the ones you see, the memories vivid with each item you pick up.
Jungkook looks down at you, glassy eyes at the exposure of what he’d been keeping all this time - your memory, all kept in a box within his reach, because he never wanted to let go of it, hoping that one day, when you come back into his life, he can show you that though you said goodbye, it never meant it was the end. Not for him, at least.
He kneels down next to you and laughs along at the notebook of pick-up lines you made for him, and the collection of post-its that you left all over his dorm that one time you surprised him for his birthday, and the Halloween couple photos, and the mixtapes you made for him because they were “more organic than Spotify playlists.”
“Wow, I was such a hopeless romantic,” you laugh. 
“I mean, you were dating me. Can’t blame you,” he returns.
“God, you’re still a closeted cocky little shit,” you pinch his arm, causing him to squeal and your laughter blends with his, and it’s a sound you haven’t heard in a very long time, and you’d forgotten how much you missed it.
“Those were the best seven years of my life, you know?” Jungkook starts after the giggling has died down and you both scan the other items on the floor. “I’ll never trade them for anything. You were the best part of me and I wish I’d been better so that we didn’t have to let each other go.”
The silence is close to giving Jungkook a heart attack until you look at him with glassy eyes.
“You were the best part of me, too, Jungkook. I hope you know that, and however we ended, I’m just glad I get to meet you like this again,” you smile. “You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re happy. What these few weeks have shown me is that that's all I ever wanted.”
He wants to say more, that he was happy with you and that he could be happy again with you but the words get caught in his throat. He’s holding onto this, at the image of you holding pieces of your relationship in your hands, clutching them as if you don’t want to let go. 
But you do, eventually, as the doorbell rings, signalling the arrival of your friends.
“I’ll clean this up and leave it on the floor because I can’t reach it,” you grin.
He laughs. “I’ll get the door.”
And right as he leaves, the tears you were holding finally fall.
The photoshoot goes by smoothly, with Taehyung sending you photos throughout the day and giving you a play-by-play of the whole thing. Your eyes almost pop out of their sockets as you zoom in, seeing Jungkook wear a familiar black jacket, the one you’d gotten him. You knew he went back to your apartment years ago to retrieve it, as your friends narrated, given that it’s how Da-eun and Namjoon met. 
“Nice jacket,” you’d texted Jungkook after the shoot.
“They asked me to wear something nice and I always thought I looked good in this,” he replied. 
“You do. And not to inflate your ego but watch your clients increase once these photos are out.”
He laughed then, as your text conversation went on, which had become a regular occurrence, but you also weren’t wrong. The photoshoot and interview were indeed free marketing, as they were posted on social media and widely shared online. 
It gave their company exposure, and you as well. With your name credited for the design, as Jungkook insisted, you received a few inquiries about your services, which you happily took on the side. 
That only meant that both you and Jungkook became too busy to meet up again, although there was no agreement whatsoever about it. One of you would miss your friends’ regular get-togethers, and it’s two months after your last meeting when you see each other again at a fast food joint for breakfast, en route to a lake house in Gangwon. 
Work and wedding planning had been stressing Namjoon out, and he’d insisted on having everyone take the quick hour drive to a place he’d discovered, perfect for relaxing with the lake and mountains as background. It quickly became an anticipated event, as it’s the first time that both Namjoon’s and Da-eun’s friends would go together on a trip. Even Taehyung and Hoseok, who’d extended his stay, were invited. 
“I’ve almost forgotten how hectic city life is back here,” you mumble over your afternoon beer as you all settle in the outdoor area, waiting for the noodles and grilled pork that some of the guys are preparing for lunch. “My sister and I would go sailing or drive to the peninsula every weekend in Melbourne.”
“Wow, that’s the life,” Da-eun says as she leans on Namjoon. “I was always jealous of your trips whenever we video called and you showed us where you were. Must’ve been really liberating, considering how stressful work was back here.”
You recall how years ago, working at an advertising agency sucked the life out of you. You were always craving for a trip out of town and everyone in your life then was always too busy to indulge you, especially Jungkook. The times that you did get Jimin, Areum, and Yoongi to go on a trip with you, your then-boyfriend rarely made it. 
“It was, and I enjoyed it very much,” you reply. It came with a price, though, as every trip you took just made you think of Jungkook, even if you tried hard not to. 
There was always scenery you wanted him to marvel at with you, a meal you wanted to share with him, and an activity you wanted both of you to do together. They were thoughts you kept in a nook in your heart, storing them there at the risk of you breaking at how much you missed him, wishing he was still part of your life. But as you’d convinced yourself, and as was proven, there was a reason you both had to say goodbye.
“I’m pretty sure this won’t compare to there,” Jungkook pipes in, and much as you’d like to disagree that it would be a battle, looking at him being snug in his maroon hoodie, gazing at you then back at the mountains, you don’t want to argue. This is comfort you’ve missed dearly.
The day passes by slowly and quickly at the same time. You spend much of the afternoon fishing with Yoongi and Jin and riding the boat with Jungkook and Hoseok. The evening caps off with some karaoke in the living room, with most of your friends passing out from the alcohol and tiredness, leaving you and Jungkook to clean up the mess because as Yoongi exclaimed, he’d been so tired driving and cooking the whole day.
You and Jungkook wake your friends up and help them to their beds, then eventually pass out in your respective rooms.
The next day, you find out that the engaged pair actually had ulterior motives to the trip, as they reveal wanting your friend group to prepare a dance number during the wedding to entertain the guests. 
Everyone whined before being serious about it, with Taehyung taking charge of the production number and Hoseok giving ideas on the choreography, as he promises to be back here in time for the wedding. You join in on the fun, until the part where there’s a couple dance, leaving you and Jungkook as a pair because apparently, Yoongi and Jin have been bonding over fishing and have become inseparable themselves. 
It’s a little awkward at first, since the move that Namjoon and Da-eun are insisting on involves holding hands and twirling your partner.
“Oh, what the hell? It’s just a dance,” Jungkook states, taking your hand and spinning you around.
“Shit, I’m sorry. Was that too much?” He worriedly asks, as you lose your balance and fall into his chest because you hadn’t expected the move. 
You’re holding onto his sweatshirt as you giggle, and you look up at him with glassy eyes because you couldn’t stop laughing at Yoongi and Jin bickering because they couldn’t decide on who would spin and who would take the lead.
Jungkook laughs with you but turns you to him. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Kook. No harm done,” you smile, and both your eyes widen at the unexpected use of his nickname.
Suddenly, the laughing has stopped and all you can hear are cicadas and the rustling of the wind, only to realize that all your friends have their eyes set on you - your hands clutching on Jungkook while he holds your arms to keep you steady. 
Your cheeks warm at the feel of him holding you up, heart thumping at something that used to be so familiar, and you mask it with a smile and an invitation for a round of drinks. 
Your friends seem to have a plan in place as suddenly, the ones assigned to prepare dinner disappear to “get some rest,” prompting Yoongi and Jin to have you and Jungkook be on duty tonight. 
You go with the flow, knowing that you’re sober enough after chowing down some sweets, and wouldn’t be doing anything crazy with your ex-boyfriend as you try to feed your annoying friends.
“You can just prepare the rice inside, ___,” Jungkook instructs, as he heats the griller for the pork belly. “I can work on this.”
You quickly cook the rice good enough for 10 people and immediately return outside to where Jungkook is seasoning the meat.
“Here, I’ll help,” you say, as you grab a pair of tongs.
“What are you doing? You’re shit at grilling meat,” Jungkook exclaims.
“Excuse me?!” You scowl, placing your hands on your waist. “I’ll have you know I’m good with the barby.”
There’s silence before you and Jungkook burst in laughter, with him doubling over.
“Did you just use your Australian accent on me?” 
You warm in embarrassment. “It’s a usual line my sister says to her boyfriend and I tease her with it because she really does suck at it. It just came out.”
“God, that was hilarious,” he says, wiping his eyes from laughter. 
It’s not because of how you sounded but more of how unexpected and foreign it was; add to that, your stance made it look like you were genuinely offended.
“Hey, I really am,” you insist. “You could at least let me try.”
Your pout is too cute for Jungkook to reject you, so he steps aside and hands you the plate of raw meat. “Go ahead, mate.”
It’s your turn to laugh at his attempt at an accent, and you’re too preoccupied that you end up standing too close to the griller and with all the fat of the meat, the oil starts to pop, causing you to scream in fear.
“Oh my god, I’m dying!” You squeal, covering your face with your arm.
You feel Jungkook pull you away and grab the tong and plate from you, taking his position in front of you to make sure that the meat doesn't get burned. 
“Still good with the barby?” He teases.
“Shut up, I wasn’t prepared.” You pinch his arm as you peek from behind him. “You distracted me.”
“Excuse me, I didn’t do anything!” He laughs, prompting both of you to bicker as he continues to cook the meat and you find a rhythm where you cut into pieces the ones he’s done with. 
Not far away, all your friends are gathered in the dining area, sipping on their beers and watching the scene unfold, the smiles on their faces revealing what they’re feeling.
“You know what they say about past lovers remaining friends?” Yoongi asks.
“What?” is the collective response. 
“It’s either they never loved each other to begin with, or they still do. And we all know how much they loved each other, don’t we?”
“Shit,” Namjoon groans, massaging his head furiously. “My hangover is terrible.”
“Good thing you’re not driving,” Jin laughs from next to him, sipping on iced coffee. “And thank god that Da-eun isn’t some backward thinker who gives a shit that her fiance can’t drive to save a life.”
“Shut up, she thinks it’s cute.”
Jin and Jungkook laugh at his antics but gush at the silly smile painted on Namjoon’s face. For a songwriter, he’s not very expressive when it comes to love, but Da-eun had opened that part of him that revels in the emotion, in the experience of loving someone with their whole heart, something that he hates being thankful to Jungkook for. 
“Last night was pretty crazy,” Jin recalls, as he and Jimin lost a game and as punishment, had to jump in the freezing cold lake. 
“Yeah, for you,” Jungkook laughs. “Why must you open your mouth and make a bet out of everything? You always end up doing the consequence.”
“I like living my life on the edge, okay?” Jin retorts. “But I’d like to correct myself. Last night was crazy for us, because our boy Namjoon here was so drunk that he screamed about he couldn’t wait to fuck Da-eun senseless on their wedding night.”
The memory causes laughter among the men, except for Namjoon who buries his head in embarrassment. “Fuck, don’t remind me.”
“I should include that in my speech for you,” Jin teases, earning him a punch on the arm from his friend.
“But like you said, it was only crazy for us. Someone here had a bit of a romantic night, didn’t he?” Namjoon and Jin share smug looks as they turn to Jungkook. “How did you and ___ go from bickering over cooking meat to stargazing while we were all getting drunk?”
Jungkook rolls his eyes but smiles at the memory. Dinner was a long affair and quickly turned to drinking games, which you both joined in at the start. But you stopped early, assigning yourself as this afternoon’s driver, and didn’t want to have a hangover for it. 
Jungkook insisted that he didn’t want you to be the only responsible sober one so he retired from drinking early as well. Your friends had gotten drunk to the point of losing their filter when it came to teasing you both, so you separated from them and stayed at the dock by the lake, watching the stars instead. You knew they’d tease even more, but at least you and Jungkook weren’t around to hear them. 
“You guys were too loud, and plus, the sky was so pretty last night. You don’t see that in Seoul that much.”
“You guys were out there long. What did you guys talk about?” Jin inquires.
“Many things. I mean, it’s the first time that we didn’t have design stuff to discuss so we just talked about random stuff, like her design course, how my parents took the whole career change, and how life has been recently,” Jungkook smiles, thinking back to how natural it had been with you. 
He was enthralled with all your stories, his heart warming at all the things you got to do while you were away, the trips you made, the cuisines you got into, the weird stuff you’d seen and fun things you’d experienced. 
You seemed so happy with his stories, too, like when he put out his first video, his first client, the first time he got recommended, and all the projects he has in store. 
“We talked a bit about the breakup, too, how we both found it difficult to explain what happened to people who asked.”
“Was it awkward?” Namjoon wonders.
“Not really, I mean, we both agreed it was tricky. Like, how do you explain breaking up with someone you still loved? There was no fight, no breaking point, no ‘last straw.’ But deep down, we both knew it just had to happen,” Jungkook sighs. “If there’s anything I learned, it’s that sometimes the decision makes sense, even if the reasons don’t.”
“She seems really happy now,” Jin states. “Like, she really loved her time out there, and even here. We’ve talked a bit about her job and she still gets stressed but she seems to enjoy it, or at least, she’s not as bothered by the stress, I think. She’s not being consumed with work like she used to; even I noticed that from before.”
“Yeah, she said that, too. She found herself out there and it’s true, you know? You lose yourselves in the people you love,” Jungkook adds. “You guys know it wasn’t easy for us in the beginning, and I think that just took a toll on her at some point but held back because we loved each other. I think the breakup just led to her realizing what was out there, what she lost when she was with me.”
“Are you okay with that idea? That she lost herself as she loved you?” Namjoon asks.
“I guess. I found myself loving her because I didn’t know who I was when we got together; she did. Breaking up was a risk; it was either we’d realize it was a mistake or know we made the right call.”    
“Do you regret it?” Jin asks this time.
“Does it matter?” Jungkook sighs. “I think… we were at the point where we’d hurt each other regardless if we stayed together or broke up. It was just about whether we wanted to see the other break and then blame each other for it, or go through the pain on our own and spare the other of the blame.”
The three men settle with the silence as they contemplate on the words.
“Maybe you lasted long enough for it to hurt, but not enough for it to ruin you,” Namjoon says. “If you could stay friends after everything, talk about the breakup while maintaining that respect, and share the memories, I mean, that’s a pretty special kind of love, isn’t it?”
“We loved each other hard. I told you guys then that I knew it was coming, that she felt it wasn’t going anywhere, that it wasn’t working anymore. But she couldn’t do it, so I did it instead so she didn’t have to.” Jungkook lays back on the hammock he’s in as he thinks about that moment of the end. 
“There’s that thing I read somewhere, you gotta love someone in a way that they should feel free. She didn’t feel that way anymore; at some point, neither did I. And we had to let each other go, so that if we had a chance again, we could love each other right the next time.”
“Then why don’t you?”
Jungkook thinks about the sound of your laughter, the sparkle in your eyes, and the way your smile comforts him in ways he can’t describe. He thinks about how even now, you push him to be better, to believe in himself and what he’s capable of; how after all these years, your faith in him is still what makes him have faith in the world. You’re every bit the same woman he fell in love with a decade ago, yet you’re different, too. And there’s nothing about you he’ll change.
“I do,” he admits, the words coming out naturally, a declaration that he wasn’t ready to verbalize until this moment. “I just… don’t know about her.”
“Then why don’t you find out?” Jin wonders, as if it’s a question he can easily ask you. 
You’ve been responsive, open, welcoming when it comes to the friendship you both share, years after your relationship ended. But it may also mean that’s all you want this time around.
“I’m savoring it for now, being with her like this,” he says, as he briefly meets your gaze while you talk with your friends, prompting you to smile at him. “Her voice was the first thing I missed when she left; I’d like to hear it more in case I lose it again. And I’ll just keep doing what I have the past three years.”
“Which is?”
“Loving her from afar.”
It’s on a Sunday afternoon when Jungkook texts you that he’ll drop by your apartment to return the staging items you lent Taehyung after their company was once again featured in a magazine. You’d said that Saturday night would be okay but Jungkook drank with the guys and ended up sleeping over at Jin’s.
He stands by your door with a paper bag in hand, happy that he gets to have a reason to see you again. 
Things have been going well since the trip to the lake. He’s afraid to be deliberate in his intentions with you, so he, with the help of his friends, takes advantage when the opportunity presents itself. 
Like sitting next to you during the lunches that Namjoon and Da-eun invite you to, joining you on clean up duty during drinking sessions at Jin’s, agreeing with Taehyung to contact you to consult on some design aspects of their projects so you could meet up for coffee or at their office.
You two talk as friends do - you update each other about work, your families, something new you discovered, and you can talk about your past without bitterness or anger. There’s fondness in the memories, pride in what you’ve both accomplished, and faith that everything turned out as they should. 
Jungkook settles for this, as the fear of losing you again is greater than whatever desire he has to be anything more with you. 
He waits a while after he rings the doorbell, curious about the chattering and buzzing sound on the other side. It doesn’t sound like Jimin and Areum laughing or you and Yoongi bickering, and he’s trying to analyze who could be around when the door creaks open and he’s greeted by a familiar smile, one that’s always given him comfort - after yours, of course.
“Are my eyes betraying me?” The woman gasps. “Jungkook, my darling, is that really you?”
“Grandma!” Jungkook all but jumps at her. 
He lets himself be enveloped in her hug, as he whispers, “it’s me, and I’ve missed you so much, too.”
“Grandma!” You scold. “I told you I’d get the door.” 
You look up and your scowl turns into a look of shock. “Jungkook, hi. Uhm, I didn’t know you were coming,” you stammer.
“I thought it would be okay to drop by in the afternoon,” he bites his lips. “I… Well, I texted and I was really just gonna return these.” He hands the paper bag to you but your grandmother takes it then takes his hand.
“Come on inside, darling. We’re preparing dinner.” She pulls him inside your apartment and announces to the rest of your family. “Guess who’s here!”
The noise dies down as everyone turns to Jungkook. You could hear a pin drop as your parents and your younger sister, all wide-eyed and open-mouthed, look at you then at him, then they all break into smiles. They all hug him, leaving you shaking your head and giggling, as you watch Jungkook’s panicked look turn into one of longing and comfort.
Your family loved him. Though they’d voiced out some concerns at one point, given how they’d been a little impatient with how your relationship was progressing, they always knew how much he loved you. 
The rest of your family resume their responsibilities, with your father stepping out to grab a few things from the supermarket not far away. You’re hesitant to return to the kitchen to leave Jungkook with your grandmother but she gives you a reprimanding look.
“Go help your mother, sweetie. I’ll catch up with Jungkook. I’ve missed him so much and it’s been three very long years.”
You scrunch your eyebrows at her but also know that she’ll just nag you in the kitchen if she’s not entertained so you give in. “Fine but please, behave.”
Jungkook laughs and you excuse yourself, as you watch them settle on the couch and engage in conversation. 
It was all going so well. 
Jungkook always adored your grandmother because she’s amusingly blunt. He’d found himself in the middle of one of your arguments with her and he’d long figured out it happens because you’re so alike - you got your warmth from your mother but your passion and feistiness was definitely from your grandmother. 
He shares how life has been like, convincing his parents that law school just isn’t for him, and proudly talks about the company and how much you’ve helped, saying that you two have been catching up ever since you got back. 
“Oh, darling. You’re just as sweet as I remember,” she says, as Jungkook sits back down on the couch after he helped your mother reach for some things on your cupboard. You shared a quick laugh after that and your grandmother didn’t miss the way Jungkook’s smile softened at your look.
“When you two broke up, I kept thinking that it was temporary, that you’d both come around and realize it was a mistake,” she says. “But she left then I heard from her friends that you went back to be with your parents, too, and I was devastated. I mean, anyone would be a fool to not see how much you loved each other, and as her grandmother, that’s always meant so much, you know?” She smiles. “You looked at her the way her father looks at her mother. It was wonderful to witness.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t make her happy,” Jungkook croaks. It’s something that no longer makes him cry but hearing it from your own family hits different. “She’s talked a lot about her time in Melbourne and it really seemed like she found her happiness there.”
“Oh, she did,” your grandmother happily sighs. “She always had a reason to call home, just to tell us what she and her sister had done or gone to. And there was Sam, you know? He was such a blessing to her.”
Jungkook freezes and feels the life drain out of him. It seemed like an unwritten rule - do not talk about your exes with your exes; it was why Jungkook never did because, well, those he dated after you were more like flings than they were relationships. But hearing about someone making you happy when he couldn’t, about that man being a blessing to you when Jungkook stopped being one - it’s causing him a kind of pain he’d tried hard to no longer feel.
“I’m glad he was,” is all Jungkook manages to say. 
“Things don’t always turn out the way we want them to,” she continues. “But I truly believe that while people and dreams and needs change, great love doesn’t.” She looks at Jungkook with tender eyes. “Sometimes it takes temporarily losing it to remind us that we can’t, in fact, live without it.”
The heaviness he’s feeling lightens somehow, as he tries to think of this as your grandmother telepathically telling him something more. The moment is disrupted when your father returns and you announce that dinner is ready. 
Jungkook’s just about to excuse himself when your mother turns to him. “Stay. Have dinner with us.”
He doesn’t know what to make of it because who invites their daughter’s ex-boyfriend to dinner? But he thinks of how much he’s missed them, too, and that looking back, they’d become his family and he didn’t get to say goodbye.
“That would be nice,” he says, turning to you, who’s got a hopeful smile on your face. 
The dinner isn’t awkward, as he slightly worried it would be. There's much interest with his company, and he appreciates them not mentioning the breakup or your exes. They ask about his family, too. You laugh along at the conversation and Jungkook basks in this for a moment. 
He wonders if you laughed the same way with Sam, if he’s why the light in your smile and the sparkle in your eyes are back. He scoffs at himself at the feeling of jealousy, even if he doesn’t know much about the man and what you shared. 
Jungkook turns to you. 
You’re his great love and he knows what it’s like to lose you. Letting you go was the biggest risk, and he could only hope that since then, no one has taken that place of his in your life, too.
The restaurant is buzzing at this peak lunch hour as you settle in between Yoongi and Areum, catching Jungkook’s gaze in the process and you smile. You’d found out after he left your home after dinner with your family that your grandmother had told him about Sam, and you’d scolded her for doing so.
“Why hide it? You said you’re friends,” she shrugged. “Not unless there’s a reason you don’t want Jungkook to know that you loved a man after him. And why that even matters.”
You shook your head in disbelief then, thinking that talking about the man who came after your ex just felt weird. Jungkook never asked and it wasn’t information you offered. Sam was wonderful, would’ve given you the world if you let him, and maybe that’s why it hurt. 
Jungkook returns your smile and it’s a genuine one. You don’t want to assume that finding out about your ex had affected Jungkook but you missed his texts this whole week. You mentally scold yourself for even thinking this. Things are going well with him, and that was all you hoped after he walked out your door and out of your life. 
“Jungkook?” A high-pitched voice breaks into your thoughts. 
You look up to see a gorgeous-looking woman approach your table to where Jungkook is. Clad in a dress fit for a runway, she’s got a lovely face and aura about her that intimidates you quite a bit, even if she looks younger than you.
“Se-won, hey!” Jungkook stands up and the woman immediately wraps her arms around him, kissing him on the cheek then wiping the lipstick stain with her thumb. He looks rather shocked, as he turns to Namjoon and Jin with wide eyes and a worried smile.
They chat a bit, as the rest of your friends settle with awkward exchanges as you steal glances at the pair. From her body language, it’s easy to tell there’s history there.
“Yeah, I’m just having lunch with my friends. Joon’s getting married in a few weeks,” Jungkook says.
“Oh my goodness, that’s amazing!” Se-won shrieks. “I was always secretly jealous of you two. Congratulations!” 
“Thank you,” Namjoon smiles. “Back home for vacation?”
“Yes, a quick one. I just did a stopover before my fashion show in Tokyo,” she giggles. “I didn’t expect to run into you guys here, although honestly, I’ve been hoping I would.”
She smiles sweetly at Jungkook and suddenly you’ve lost your appetite. It wouldn’t be a surprise if Jungkook dated after the breakup since it’s something you did, too. You just didn’t think it would affect you this much.
“Well, it’s nice to see familiar faces,” she looks at everyone, and you try to not think much of the seeming familiarity between her and your own friends. “Well, most of them.”
“She’s a friend who returned home a few months ago,” Jungkook interjects. 
“Oh? From where?”
“Australia,” you smile.
“Ugh, I miss it there! Melbourne is lovely but Sydney just felt more like me, you know?” She laughs. “But it’s still too chill and laid-back for me. And Seoul just sucks the life out of you but we all have reasons to come and go, right?” 
“We do,” you smile. 
As sudden as it was, leaving was one thing you never regretted. This place held too many memories and you felt like suffocating as each day passed. “But Seoul isn’t so bad.”
“I guess, if you spend time away from it,” she shrugs. “I always asked Kookie to leave with me, you know? Even just to go on a cruise in the Caribbean or to spend a week in Italy because I think he’d like that but he insisted on staying, never wanting to leave.”
You swallow the lump in your throat as you look up at her. “You seem to know each other well.”
“Well, it’s a pretty sweet story, actually.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. 
Jungkook’s “we don’t have to talk about it” gets drowned out by Se-won’s insistence and she excitedly gets on about their history.
“Really interesting how we met. So it was about two years ago and I was home for a break and this guy was riding his motorcycle out in the evening after - stupidly, I must say - having something to drink and I don’t know, maybe he was going too fast or it was too slippery or maybe he was a little tipsy—“
You focus on her voice while your eyes flit to your surroundings - all of your friends either have their heads down or their hands to their temples, trying to interrupt Se-won while Jungkook has his eyes closed and jaws clenched, probably not wanting to recall an incredibly irresponsible act.
“But anyway, he sideswipes a car that was in the middle of the road and ends up crashing on the ground after his motorcycle flips multiple times and oh my god,” she gasps, “the blood and everything.”
“You, uhm…” you say, after what feels like forever. Your heart is thrumming in your chest and just the image of Jungkook hurt and wounded is making you want to throw up. 
“You were at the hospital, too?” You ask, trying to make sense of where she fits into this.
“Oh, no. I was driving the car he sideswiped,” she says matter-of-factly, like it’s such a natural and casual thing to say about an accident.
“I stopped them from filing charges because he just looked, I don’t know, so helpless and miserable and so, so hot I mean, long hair, piercings, just this mysterious look on him and I just wanted to get to know him more, and I did. There was so much sweetness and kindness hiding behind all that sadness. I think he’d just come from a breakup?” She goes on, giggling and dragging her fingers on Jungkook’s arm. “But anyway, we hit it off and it was a whirlwind romance until I had to go back to Milan and he wanted to stay.”
“That’s quite the story,” you manage to say. “How long was he in the hospital for?” 
“A week or so, right Kookie? He had broken ribs and a broken whatever and it could’ve been so much worse but he survived. It’s how I met all his friends!” She says excitedly. “I stayed with him in his room everyday and they all came to visit. So it’s so nice to hear that Namjoon and Da-eun are engaged! How about you, Jimin and Areum? Any plans yet? It’s been so long!”
The chatter continues but you’ve completely zoned out. Your heart slows its pace until you’re unsure if it’s even still beating anymore. The accident, the injuries, your friends keeping this from you — everything feels surreal. 
It’s Se-won’s high-pitched goodbye that brings you out of the haze and you see her give Jungkook a goodbye kiss and you want nothing more than to sink into your couch and cry yourself to sleep. It’s a heavy feeling, knowing all this, how hurt and scared he was, how much worse it could’ve been, and how he’d carried the experience with him this whole time.
You clear your throat and avoid the looks of your friends. 
“I think I ate something bad,” you croak. “I’m not feeling too well, I’ll go ahead okay?”
You don’t bother to wait for a response and you hurriedly head to the door, wanting so badly to disappear as Jungkook runs after you and calls your name.
But you don’t turn back. You let the sound of his voice remind you that he’s still here, he’s alive, and that’s enough comfort. But for now, all you want to do is cry.
You turn your phone off after you send a reply to Areum’s dozens of messages. 
“Just give me some time. I’ll call when I’m ready,” is what you send, as you sink into your couch and bury your face on the pillow as you cry for the nth time today. 
You made yourself tea, took a long shower, tried to sleep…. But you almost dropped the cup, got burned by the hot water, and kept imagining a hurt Jungkook lying bloodied on the pavement, and you’d given up and just let yourself cry.
You let the noise from the TV drown out your thoughts, slowly calming you down as the tears have now dried up, when you hear a loud banging on your door. You close your eyes to drown that out.
“___, open the door, please,” Jungkook calls out, desperate voice just hoping you’d let him in. “Please. I need to know you’re okay.”
He repeats those words until you admit to yourself that he’s who you need right now, so you drag yourself to the door and open it to see him leaning on your doorframe, eyes glassy and chest heaving from all the effort of trying to get you to open up.
There’s a moment of silence as you look at his form - healthy, clean, alive. And he’s here with you, breathing the same air, living the life he’s always wanted. 
Then you break, your sobs spilling out and reverberating through the hallway, your throat hurting as it strains from your cries. Strong arms envelope you, as you bury yourself on his chest, your hands clutching on his sweatshirt, words unable to form.
You’ve missed him terribly, and you’ve never felt more comfort in the past years as you do right now, in his arms, as he whispers repeatedly in your ear. “It’s okay. I’m here, ____. I’m here.”
You both stand by your door as he constantly shifts you in his hold, tightening his hold then loosening it only to let you breathe, but he holds you as if to carry the pain and sadness with you. 
He feels your knees slightly buckle so he takes your face in his hands. “Let’s get you to the couch.”
Jungkook walks you there and sees your tear-stained pillow and blanket. He tells you to sit as he grabs you a glass of water to drink, watching you as the tears continue to fall down your cheek, his own cries aching to be heard as well.
You deny his offer of getting you dinner and he convinces you to get some rest, seeing your heaving body, tired from feeling all the emotions and dealing with them by yourself.
“You need to sleep,” he kneels in front of you, removing the damp strands of hair from your forehead and caressing the tears off your face. 
“I’ve been trying but I can’t.” Your voice cracks. “Don’t leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere, okay?” He says, kissing your hand softly like he did those years ago when you’d said your goodbyes but this time, it’s like a promise he’s making that whatever happens, he’s going to stay.
You lie down on the couch and leave him some space, prompting him to lay beside you with his left arm serving as your pillow, and his right your extra layer of warmth. You immediately sink into his hold, the fresh scent and comfort of his sweatshirt making you feel lighter by the second, as if he’s slowly taking from you whatever it is you’ve been keeping to yourself this whole time. 
Jungkook lets you cry some more as he pulls you closer, as close as he can have you, and he kisses your forehead, lingering, to remind you that he’s here, breathing next to you. 
“What happened out there, Kook?” 
“I just wanted to see you,” he says after some time. “I felt so lost when you left; I didn’t get to tell you everything I wanted to say. I wasn’t doing well at school so when my parents found out what happened, they had the guys bring me back home.”
He combs his fingers through your hair and caresses your arm as he tells you more - how his parents hoped they’d realized sooner that his heart just wasn’t in law, that he tried too hard for them and that he’d broken his own heart in the process. He shared how they helped him move on, let him stay busy by working at their friends’ hotel and tinkering on some motorcycle, reminded him everyday that he’ll figure things out soon, that they love him regardless, whatever he chose to pursue.
But that some days were still hard - not being there for Jin after he lost his grandfather, Jungkook having his sister spend time in their home after a 36-hour duty at the hospital to make sure her baby brother is alright, watching his mother smile through the other ladies make comments about her ambitionless son who just didn’t know what he was doing in life, knowing his father’s dreams of having a lawyer in the family not see the light of day. 
Then there was missing you, wishing he could just feel your touch, boop his nose then kiss it like he always liked, have you tell him that he’s good and worth something, no matter what he does.
He’d gone out for a drink during one particularly hard night. A bottle of beer and two shots, something that barely makes a dent in his system; it’s all he had. But he’d been sleepy, it had just rained, and the streetlight on the road was broken. 
And there was a stalled car in the middle of the road that he didn’t see.
He lost control and managed to avoid the tree up ahead, causing his motorcycle to slide then flip over, taking him with it. You’re so lucky, the doctor told him. We could’ve lost you, his sister cried. Broken ribs, burns and gashes on his arms, a concussion, a broken neck… It was a scary sight, but it looked worse than it really was. 
Se-won’s family is influential in Busan and she begged her parents not to file a case, as she hadn’t been hurt. Jungkook was ready for the consequences, knowing that it had been his fault, and he could’ve really hurt her. But Se-won insisted, letting him take his time to recover; helped him with the emotional part of healing, too. 
She was a stranger turned lover. She wasn’t someone he’d disappointed yet and he knew he never would, so he let himself bask in the infatuation, in the care, in the temporary bliss. Anything to remind himself of what he’d lost - himself. 
“Your friends drove down with Joon and Jin. I made them promise me not to tell you,” he croaks, feeling you cry again. “I didn’t want to give you a reason to come back because you’d been doing so well out there. I wanted you to be happy and you were.” He kisses your forehead. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, please,” you say, hugging him tighter. “I don’t want to think about that anymore. I’m just happy to know you’re safe.”
“I am,” he assures you. “That was probably the biggest mess up I ever did and it was enough to force me to really get my shit together, you know? Tae used to be that annoying kid at school and I’m glad he didn’t change.” Jungkook laughs, recalling how his friend would visit Jungkook at the hotel where he worked and pitch to him different business ideas. “We just needed a push and an investor who took a chance at us then things slowly fell into place.”
“I’m sure the guys are on your ass even more now, huh?”
“They let me sleep over even if I’d had just one bottle of beer,” he sighs. “But I’m glad they look out for me as much as they do. I don’t think I would’ve gotten through all of that without them.”
“I’m so sorry,” you desperately whisper in his ear. There’s so much to be sorry for but you know Jungkook wouldn’t wanna hear it.
“I don’t wanna hear it. That was all me, stupid and immature and selfish me.”
Your sniffles and hiccups fill the silence in the room as you trace his tattooed arm, feeling for the first time the rough parts of it that hid behind the blank ink.
“I didn’t want to be reminded of that night,” Jungkook says. “They’d healed but they were the most visible marks and I had to cover them up.”
Your fingers trace his chest, wondering if the marks there had healed, too, but you settle with listening to his beating heart and uttering the words you’ve been meaning to tell him, as he envelopes you in his warmth. 
“I’ve missed you so much, Kook. It was hard, too, when I was away, but I’m so happy you’re here.”
He affectionately boops your nose. I don’t want to be anywhere but here, he doesn’t say, but you return his smile and it’s all he needs to get him through another day.
The moment of seeing an important person in your life get married is truly special. That’s what you think as you watch Da-eun laugh one second then cry while Namjoon reads out his vows to her, assuring her a life and a partnership where she’s loved, respected, and incredibly happy. It’s amusing to see him be that emotional and open, hiding his face with every promise he makes and every ooh and ahh from the audience that’s gathered for this special event. 
They look beautiful and are clearly anticipating the life they’ll be sharing together, and you can’t help the skip of your heartbeat at the thought of how they’d met, taking to what Jungkook said that you can claim yourselves as the cause of their love story.
This wedding was months in the making and you’d spent it with the friends you’ve missed, including Jungkook who’d just constantly reminded and shown you why you’d spent seven years - and more - loving him. 
He’s familiar yet new at the same time. You realize that there’s layers of him that you’ve never seen before, like his sense of responsibility and maturity. He’s more open and expressive, and you find yourself being surprised at how natural he now is with words, how easily he captures people’s attention, and how much charm and confidence he exudes. But he’s still funny, goes with the flow, a little cocky, and incredibly caring and thoughtful, his best parts that got you to fall in love with him in the first place. 
He looks even more stunning tonight, in his beige three-piece suit and slick hair exposing his forehead. Jin said that Namjoon treated them to a facial yesterday so they could share in his wedding glow, and it’s definitely showing in Jungkook’s face, and you can’t help but admire even more the piercing on his eyebrow and how that oddly makes him look even more sophisticated.
The party is in full swing, as dinner had been served and you’d all just done your group dance number, which surprisingly enough, turned out better than you expected. You’d all spent some time practicing, making yourself get used to being so close to Jungkook again, with him gently holding your hand and carefully twirling you. He’d held you on your waist tonight when you almost lost your balance, given the heels you’re wearing and the two flutes of champagne you’d had.
“I got you,” he’d smiled, and you basked in the comfort that had always given you.
You haven’t talked much about it with your friends, as they always just wait for you to bring it up but you never know how to. While you’re not one to live with regrets, you can’t help but think sometimes that maybe you didn’t fight for your relationship enough, that you just got impatient, that you just expected and wanted too much, and that contrary to what he says, the fallout was because of you. 
But you also know that things needed fixing, and that thing was you. It’s hard to explain but you found something while you were away, as parts of yourself slowly came back the more you focused on you - your thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants that weren’t attached to another person. You needed to remember what that was like, so you could be your best self again for the next person willing to love whatever version of yourself you could give.
You know in your heart now that you want that to be Jungkook. But you’re incredibly scared of losing him as a friend this time, and you don’t know if you or he is willing to take that chance.
There’s some down time to socialize before the final part of the program, which is really just the speeches and toast to signal the start of the party. You’re with Yoongi and Hoseok at the table while Jimin and Areum are around, catching up with some old friends. 
Jungkook, on the other hand, is on his third washroom trip in the last 15 minutes, as the nerves of giving his speech kick in. He never enjoyed speaking in front of an audience, but Jin assured that they’ll give it as a pair, so Jungkook can just make them laugh and close it out if he wanted. 
A group of people are by the hallway, blocking his path to the washroom, but he notices Jimin and Areum and some familiar faces, too, like Hyunjin - a friend of yours from college whom Jungkook had seen in some of your social media photos, as she spent some time in Melbourne, too. 
Jungkook overhears her asking Jimin and Areum about when they plan to get married, prompting the two to say that they’re planning to go to the courthouse soon, but that the big celebration will have to wait until next year. 
“At least you’re sure and that’s one more wedding to go to after this,” Hyunjin says. “I mean, imagine if ___ just went ahead and married Sam when he asked her to, then all three of you would’ve been married by next year.”
Jungkook wants so badly to just have misheard what was said, but Areum asks how Hyunjin knew, as it wasn’t news that you openly shared, to which Hyunjin replied that, “Sam came to me after the breakup, after she said no to the proposal, and begged me to find a way to return the ring because he wanted her to keep it.”
“You’re the one who snuck it in their apartment?” Jimin asks. “We all believed he’d just left it there when he moved out of their place.”
Jungkook feels dizzy, as he learns more of your relationship with Sam. You lived together. You built a life together. You could be spending the rest of it with each other.
Hyunjin shrugs. “He didn’t get to, so he asked if i could, said something about wanting her to always remember that someone out there wants a forever with her. But he didn’t mean it in a bad way. You know Sam, he’s such a sweet person. Does she still have it?”
Areum nods. “In a box somewhere; it’s the only thing she kept from him.”
“Well, then I’d like to think she kept it to remind her of that. But he’s still holding out hope, you know? That she’ll change her mind and realize that he really could give her the life she’s always wanted,” Hyunjin continues. “I mean, they were together for a year and he knew right away he wanted to marry her. That’s some serious stuff, to love with so much certainty.”
Jungkook feels his heart drop and he quietly walks away, afraid he’d get any of your friend’s attention. Jin meets him in the hallway, tells him that they’ll be on in five minutes, and proceeds to shout to Jimin and Areum to come back inside.
“Hey, you okay?” Jin asks.
“I can’t lose her, Jin. I can’t not fight for her this time.”
Jungkook is met with a shocked look. “Where is this coming from, Kook?”
He shakes his head, not wanting to repeat what he’d heard. “She needs to know that I love her. She needs to know that I never stopped.”
You’re on your seat, anticipating the speech of the two men after your friends had done theirs. You’re trying to get Jungkook’s attention to wish him luck but he’s not meeting your gaze, his eyes focused elsewhere, and you think he’s just trying to calm his nerves.
Jin starts, the history and jokes about the friendship of the three making everyone laugh, but he wraps his part by saying that of all the things that this clumsy best friend had broken in his lifetime, the one thing he’d never broken and he’s sure that Namjoon never will is his promise to love Da-eun with all his heart.
Jungkook is given the mic and he takes a deep breath before he starts, then proceeds to say how he takes credit for his stupidity for why Namjoon and Da-eun met in the first place. He talks about just how whipped his best friend is, how he ends up being a blubbering mess when it comes to her, and how as Jungkook reflected on their love story, he got to reflect on his own. 
“You see, it hit Namjoon hard when I was in a bad place,” Jungkook says. “He took the train to Busan every weekend to see me, taking time away from being with Da-eun. But she let him, because she’s kind that way.” Jungkook smiles at her.
“The day she was gonna introduce him to his parents, to ask them to accept him, to give him a chance and ask for their blessing, was the day I got into an accident and she, uh,” Jungkook clears his throat, “she had no hesitation to let him leave because Joon needed to be a friend and she knew how important it was for him to be there for me.”
Jungkook bites his quivering lip and still refuses to look at you. 
“That… isn’t part of the script,” Yoongi hums. 
“How do you know?” You ask.
“Those two practiced their speeches with me.”
You turn back to the front where suddenly, Jungkook holds your gaze. 
“It sounds simple but Da-eun made that decision, no questions asked, to let Joon go because it was important for him and I always think about that, how Da-eun knew that she’d lose her family’s blessing and their support but it didn’t matter. Sometimes we make the hard decision because we need to, because we need to be something for someone, for ourselves, even at the cost of something else important.”
Jungkook looks around before he turns to you again.
“Her family’s not here. Who knows how different things would’ve been if Joon didn’t come to me, if he went to meet her family instead? But they both made that call and they dealt with the consequences, together. And I’ll always admire them for that strength and most of all, for their faith in each other and in their love that it would withstand anything. Because that’s what love is supposed to do, right? It forces you to make the hard decisions and you make them because you love the person you’re making them for. Even if it hurts, even if it causes you to lose something, even if it makes you doubt sometimes. And it’s that kind of great love that doesn’t go away, and I would be stupid to let it go the second time around.”
The tears fall from your eyes before you could stop them. You quickly wipe them away and sigh in relief to discover that you’re not the only one crying. 
“That was beautiful,” Hoseok says from next to you. “It almost felt like he knows how it feels to make hard decisions for the one you love. And I think so do you,” he smiles, an effort on his part to comfort you.
“I, uhm, I have to go,” you say, trembling, as you stand from your seat and quickly glance at Jungkook, who’s being pulled by his friends and the photographer, his colleague, for a photoshoot.
“Hey, don’t go through this alone again,” Yoongi calls from behind you.
“I’ll be okay, Yoon. Just tell Da-eun I needed to go. She’ll understand why.”
** You miss your floor twice and try to open the wrong hotel room thrice, mind hazy at what just happened. All you could think about was how Jungkook looked as he spoke to you, because that’s what he did. 
Love forces you to make the hard decisions and you make them because you love the person you’re making them for. He cracked at those words, and while you established years ago that you had to let each other go because of that love, it’s different hearing it now, especially as he says that he won’t let it go the second time around. 
You don’t even know why you left. You’d been filled with so much emotion at the sight of him uttering those words that you knew you’d lose it if you stayed. It’s why you’re here now, staring at your mascara-smudged face, at yet another crying session you’re doing by yourself.
You undress to get ready for a shower, deciding now that you’ll spend the rest of the night with a bottle of wine, and your friends can stay in your room once the party has finished.
There’s a knock on your door and you put on a robe, ready to scold your best friend who’d been trying to call you the entire walk to your room.
“Yoongi, I told you I’m fi—.” 
Your throat dries at the sight of a panting Jungkook, with his hair damp from running.
“Jungkook, what are you—”
“Why did you say no to Sam? Why did you reject his proposal?”
Your eyes widen at the question, but how he knew no longer matters. 
“And why do you still have the ring? Do you… do you still want him?”
You shake your head no.
“Then why keep it?” He croaks, and you see the nervousness in his eyes.
You turn away. “To remind myself that someone wanted a life with me, that he was sure he wanted to grow old with me. It’s silly but—”
“Then why did you say no? Why aren’t you back with him?”
“It wasn’t what I wanted,” you meet Jungkook’s eyes. “Because every time I thought of growing old, I couldn’t help but think of doing that with you. Even if it ended, even if we said goodbye.” You whimper. “I tried but I couldn’t imagine loving anyone else but you, Kook.”
“Is that still something you want? To be with me? To love me? To grow old with me?” 
“Yes,” you whisper, lips trembling at the thought of having that hope again.
Jungkook walks towards you and you stay still, letting the door shut, closing your eyes as you savor his soft touch on your skin.
He cups your face in his hands. “I want a life with you, ___. I always did. I just didn’t know what that looked like. I know we had our reasons but I should’ve fought for you and I didn’t know what I could promise you, or how else to make you happy because I wasn’t happy myself; I wasn’t happy with myself.”
You let the words linger, listening to his fears and worries then.
“Are you happy now?” You look at his glassy eyes that mirror yours.
“Yes. Even more with you. Are you?”
You nod vigorously, as he chases your tears with his thumbs. 
You bask in the feel of his lips on your forehead, your breath hitching as he moves further south. You wrap your arms around his waist as he kisses your nose, then your salty cheeks, then finally, your lips.
He’s warm and soft, and you feel the gentleness of the act, savoring this just as you are, and you sigh into the kiss, as if saying, finally, you’re here. Again. And I'm not letting you go.
It turns deep soon enough as you try to taste more of each other, tongues dancing, hands exploring, bodies moving together, as one. You lean on the desk as he untangles your robe, his eyes boring into yours. He slowly undresses you, his breath hitching at the sight of you bare, like he’d seen so many times before, and that’s haunted him since you left.
He takes his time kissing all parts of you that he’s missed - your neck, your shoulders, your breasts, then down to your torso, your hips, your hands in between, your thighs, and finally, your cunt, the evidence of your effect on him reminding him that not much has changed. He kisses softly and he licks, eliciting sounds that he’d only dreamed of hearing again. 
He settles at your center, but you take his cheeks in your hands, motioning for him to look at you.
“I want to focus on us, Kook. Please, let me feel you.”
He stands up and he lets you help in undressing him. First the coat, then the vest, then the bowtie. It’s slow and teasing, but you whine and he picks up the pace, unbuttoning his polo while you work on his trousers, feeling the dent underneath as you unzip him. You take his hardened length in your hand and he moans at the feel, taking his forehead into yours and sneaking another kiss. 
You giggle as he pulls you by the waist and walks you backward to the bed where he lays you down, gently, and there are no words needed to know how you both want this to happen tonight. 
You kiss as he pins your arms above your head, as he eases himself inside you, as you both moan at the pleasure, as he thrusts into you - steadily, with purpose, carrying with it all the words he didn’t say, and all the words that he will, because he has a lifetime to do that.
You focus on each other and it’s a long buildup to reach the peak but it’s how you want it - feeling each other, remembering each other, savoring each other. He comes and he works on your clit, making you come not long after and he turns you to the side to face him, wiping your tears and booping your nose repeatedly until it ends up with another kiss.
And it’s that familiarity, that emotion and sincerity that you missed. It’s that certainty - that there are no other lips you want to kiss, no other name you want to moan in between tangled limbs and damp sheets, no other eyes you want to stare into before and after the high, no other hands you want mapping your body, and no other body you want to mark yourself into.
“I love you, in case you didn’t know,” he smiles.
“I love you, in case you didn’t know,” you giggle.
You stay there, listening to each other breathe. You trace the black ink on his arm that runs up to his shoulder, finding unsuspecting things tucked in the crevices of the elaborate artwork. There’s a dandelion, a turtle, a kite, a paper airplane. 
“Something reminds me of you and I get it tattooed,” he whispers. “The rest of it was meant to hide my pain but these, these are the best parts of me, ____. I never wanted to forget.”
You bury yourself in his hold, pulling him closer and closer, and you fall asleep like this, knowing that this is how you want the rest of your life to be.
It’s the next morning in the middle of your warm shower, with his arms around your waist that he turns you around.
“I was thinking,” he starts, rinsing the shampoo off your head.
“I know it’s a years-long delay but… what do you think about moving in together?”
Once his question registers, you pull him for a long and deep kiss, pinning him against the wall as you travel down his neck.
“I’m guessing that’s a yes?” He chuckles.
“A million ones,” you smile.
  - Permanent taglist: @sherlynxx
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ilikemesometaetaes · a month ago
Kisses of Graphite (M)
Jeon Jungkook Oneshot
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•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes​
•••> Summary: He drew you to life. It’s as simple as that.
•••> Pairing(s): Jungkook/Reader
•••> Word Count: 14.38k [Unedited]
•••> Rating: 18+
•••> Tags: smut | angst | Artist!Jungkook | Drawing!Reader | Angst | SadBoi!Jungkook | s2l | 
•••> Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, noona kink (although reader is younger. I promise, it’ll make sense), masturbation (Kook), exhibitionism?, sense of helplessness, Jungkook feels empty and numb, mention/fictitious use of Wicca by Hobi, cursing, instant love, tortured love, oral (f and m receiving), mention of cheating, depression, angst, fluff?
Tagging @missgeniality @jimilter and @ressjeon for personal reasons.
Copyright © 2021 ilikemesometaetaes. All Rights Reserved.
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You opened your eyes for the first time in his room. Well, for better words, you simply came to be in his room. You didn’t need to raise your eyelids or blink away unwanted blurriness. Your vision suddenly just… was.
You fixed your permanent stare on his face, watching as he stuck his tongue into his cheek and quirked an eyebrow. At your first experience in the world, you tried to mirror his expression by quirking your own eyebrow, only to discover that you had no other features to manipulate. 
You were eyes. Just eyes.
He didn’t take long on your eyes at first, simply doodling them onto the paper to establish your presence on the parchment. A little shading for your irises and a few delicate strokes around the rims to give you eyelashes that you would never bat were the product of a short ten minutes. He paid special attention to your pupils though, adding extra reflections of light from an unknown source on top of them. If you could squint to keep the light out of your eyes, you would.
He stopped at your eyes after the first session when he concluded it by sitting back in is chair. You couldn’t hear him. Couldn’t understand him. Didn’t know who he was. To be honest, you didn’t care. All you knew was that you loved him from the first time you… opened your eyes.
You couldn’t tell what color his eyes were. They were almost black to your colorblind perception. This led you to the assumption that they were brown- beautiful brown eyes.
His eyebrows were sharp and expressive, furrowed in on their center of emotional attention. He had a small mole below his lip, one on his nose, and a few scattered on his cheeks, dotting his skin with beauty marks that you instantly adored. His hair was long and black, covering his eyes after he took it out of the small ponytail he wore when you first saw him. He pushed the strands out of his face and was just barely able to manage nudging them into the crevice behind his ears. All in all, he was beauty and he was perfection. You didn't need to see any other human to know that he was perfect.
He came back to you the day after he established your eyes with headphones in his ears, a determined look twisting his lips into a soft scowl of focus, and you felt the first licks of excitement vibrating your pupils- except, they didn’t actually move. In fact, you couldn’t move at all.
Your eyebrows were quick to form, a mere six minutes to shape, and he drew your right one with a permanent quirk that gave you the suggestive look of the expectation you felt in anticipation of what he would form next.
The scent of him was, for lack of a better word, perfect. You’d never smelled anything before, but when he curved his pencil around the tip of your nose and formed a distinct, left nostril, you could smell him. You figured that he smelled like rain and mineral- petrichor, a word you just so happened to know. How did you know this word?
You expected the man to stop there after remembering his brief burst of energy to create you the day prior, but to your surprise, he continued. A slight stroke there and a curve of his pencil there and suddenly, you had a chin and cheeks. With each stroke that placed more detail into your skin, you developed qualities like a human and developed experiences.
You didn’t particularly like children too much. You scrunched up your nose when you got frustrated or upset. You picked at your nails when you got nervous. Although you knew that you had never actually done these actions before, each time he placed his pencil down with emotion in his artistry, you slowly came to life.
He touched you with his hand for the first time, brushing his thumb over the freshly drawn line of your jaw. You imagined fluttering your eyelashes at his soft touch yet you were promptly reminded that you couldn’t fucking move.
The shading produced by his thumb dragging across the paper gave you direction after dictating where the lighting finally came from. Obviously, you faced away from it and cocked your head a little to avoid getting the light directly in your eyes. He made you into a head facing slightly to the right, but for him, you were looking left. Towards his door.
He formed your ears next, odd little shapes and all, before erasing them and scratching them in again. Once he formed the crevices inside them, you could hear him.
The soft whir of his space heater. The creaking of his chair as he shifted in it. The soft inhales and exhales of air into his lungs as he quietly hummed along with the tune playing in his ears. Was that Justin Bieber?
Wait. Who is Justin Bieber?
You lay on the paper, confused for the life of you by how you seemed to spontaneously know things that you had never experienced in your short lifespan of a single day. For this to make sense, you needed an explanation, however, you couldn’t speak.
You had no mouth.
He avoided your mouth as he continued with the rest of you, stroking your hair onto your head and wrinkling slight crinkles next to your eyes. You heard his humming stop as he completed your face without drawing in your mouth. Why did he avoid your mouth?
You were almost completed by the third day, assumed from the way he would spend more time adding details to your features. A small scar, centered on the edge of where your bottom lip would be. A bit of smudged eyeliner on your left eye. A cross earring dangling from your right earlobe. You loved how much attention he paid to developing you.
But you hated that he still had yet to draw your mouth.
You wanted to speak to him. You wanted to tell him how much you appreciated and loved him. Your stock-still image begged to cradle his cheek- despite your lack of hands- to tell him that you were there for him. You wanted him to know that you found it adorable when he noodled around on his guitar and that you loved his passion for Justin Bieber songs- a passion that extended to the looping of My World 2.0, Purpose, and Justice for nine hours straight one day.
In the week or so following your creation, you’d learned a few things about the one who drew you on top of the things you learned about yourself.
He liked listening to grunge music when he wasn’t listening to Justin Bieber, a vast genre switch that took you off guard at first. He also preferred to listen to the grunge music over his speakers as he read page after page of a novel in his bed rather than use the headphones he usually went with when he worked on you.
He preferred to keep his hair tucked under a headband or hat when he was lounging. You noticed his annoyance with the long locks that strayed onto his forehead when he sat in his bed and wrote or doodled in another journal. Briefly, you wondered if any of his other drawings were sentient like you. Somehow, you knew you weren’t supposed to be. A drawing possessing thoughts was extremely out of the ordinary.
Sometimes, he studied hard at his desk. You watched him thumb through thousands of words of information and scribble down notes in his notebook before he left for classes. You mourned the times he left like a dog, impatiently anticipating his return. In retrospect, it was quite pathetic.
Sometimes, he’d bring someone over. You studied the ones he allowed in his private space with curious eyes. They would look at you briefly and compliment your creator on his skill and you imagined that you’d bristle with pride under the compliments. Through his guests, you learned that your creator’s name was Kook. Thanks to Yoongi, it only took you four days to hear your artist’s name.
“What do you have here, Kook?”
With a featherlight touch, the white-haired man’s index finger traced the edges of your page. You felt the paper shift just slightly on the rings of your journal as he nudged it. Anytime the man looked at your eyes, all you could see were the dark orbs that stared back. When he looked away, you saw the entirety of the room and your creator, Kook, rummaging around in his bag.
“Just a doodle.” Your creator’s voice was particularly deep and you grew to appreciate him even more because of it. His voice was golden and warm. It nearly matched the lowness of the man he conversed with.
“Well, she’s beautiful.”
Kook seemed to stare straight into your eyes as he removed his attention from the task at hand.
“Yeah,” He mumbled. “She is.”
Your paper heart phantomly swelled at the praise, happy to be something your creator was proud of.
The other man backed away from you and continued to move back until he sat on the bed. When Kook looked away from you and you were forced to look at the other again, you imagined sighing in disappointment.
“Does she have a name? And why haven’t you given her lips?” The man cocked his head at you. You were eager to hear the answer, thankful for his unconscious help.
“Not yet. I’m not ready for that yet.”
Your creator was silent for a moment as he stared at you again. The frown on his face made you worried.
“Yoongi, do you ever feel like you’ve made a mistake but it’s too late to try and undo it?”
Were you a mistake? Did he believe he messed up somehow? Even with the new stress, you keenly awaited the rest of the conversation.
Yoongi sighed and sat back in the bed after placing a pillow against the wall.
“All the time.” He replied. After a beat, he spoke again. “Is that what this is about? It’s her?”
Kook looked to the floor and clasped his hands together in thought. You watched Yoongi sit up to place a hand on your creator’s shoulder with a look of mild concern.
“Yeah,” Kook muttered. There was finality in his voice. “It’s her.”
You didn’t mind that you didn’t have a name. Frankly, you were happy to be recognized as Kook’s product of artful expertise. All that mattered was that something was bothering him and you couldn’t help.
You didn’t know what the two men had talked about that day, but it seemed to trigger something in Kook that scared you.
A woman came to his room the next night. You could smell the alcohol on him as he stumbled through his door behind her and began ushering her towards his bed. She laughed and giggled, obviously inebriated by the way she swayed whilst trying her best to remove her dress.
Kook did not laugh with her, though. Instead, his face was expressionless. He didn’t waste time shedding his clothes and moved her to lay on his bed. You watched him kiss her and take hungry handfuls of her ass while she struggled to take off her underwear.
“Don’t bother.” He told her. “This’ll be quick.”
The woman paused for a moment under his touch but didn’t have time to say anything when he slid her panties to the side and slipped a finger into her. She arched her back instantly and you stared at the two of them jealously.
Kook didn’t take any of his clothes off. He simply undid the button and zipper of his pants and pulled them down to let his erection spring free.
You felt ashamed for watching them, but what were you to do? You couldn’t close your eyes or shield them with a hand. You were left motionless as you unwillingly watched Kook thrust himself into the woman on his bed.
Although Kook was drunk, his movements seemed to be fast and rough. The woman had signaled her orgasm several times before Kook managed to slow down and take a breath. You could tell that she was uncomfortably sensitive by the fortieth minute of their bodies tangling with each other.
“I need a break.” The woman gasped. “Can you give me like ten minutes? I was expecting you to have cum by now.”
“Yeah,” Kook breathed with furrowed eyebrows, seemingly dumfounded. “I was too.”
He pulled away from her and sat at the edge of his bed while the woman collected herself and went to the bathroom to freshen up. All Kook did while he waited was stare at you.
You imagined you’d be nervous under his gaze, trying to avoid his dark eyes after just having seen the entire display of him fucking another woman, but he seemed to keep his eyes unwaveringly on yours. You briefly wondered what he was thinking about as his dick lay pulsing beneath his unzipped pants.
The door to the bathroom opened and the woman came out, her hair fixed and her body seemingly put together a little bit more. She was ready to crawl back into bed when he stopped her.
“I think that’s enough.” He said monotonously. “It’d probably be best if you left.”
She scoffed and stared at him incredulously. “Really? But you haven’t cum yet.”
He sighed, standing up to lead her to the door. “Yeah, I know. I think I have some things to sort out.”
“Well, alright then.” She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and started exiting his room. “Good luck.”
He was at least respectful enough to walk her out of his apartment.
When he returned, he didn’t get undressed. Rather than clean himself up and turn in for the night, he sat on the edge of his bed and resumed his stare into your eyes. For a moment, it seemed as if he would speak to you.
The room was awfully silent. He stopped turning on his space heater days ago because of how much warmer it was getting outside. There was no precipitation to patter against his window and fill the empty silence with background. It was so quiet that you could actually hear him breathing from across the room.
“What the fuck am I doing?” He mumbled to himself. Then, he slid a hand up his leg.
Your eyes were hungry as you watched his fingers trace over the material and your imagination ran wild at the things you wished to do for him. You loved him, unconditionally, and wanted to do anything to make sure he knew that- felt that.
He removed his shirt like he did any other day, revealing the tattooed and toned chest that you saw whenever he changed shirts. His hair got mussed when he pulled the t-shirt over his head.
Then, he sat back on an elbow and placed his hand on his stomach all the while maintaining his trance on your eyes. Lightly, he trailed his inked fingers lower and slid them over the ridges of his abdominal muscles before snaking them into his undone pants.
Kook grabbed himself at his base and maneuvered his dick to escape the confines of his clothing again, but what shocked you even more was when his eyes didn’t break away from you as he began to stroke himself.
If you could move, you’d do all that he did and more, wishing to worship his body both in ardor and thanks. You were grateful for the opportunity he gave you to think for yourself and you were thankful for the care he put into creating you- even if you didn’t have a mouth. In addition to your hopeless devotion to the man, you were irrevocably in love with him.
“Oh, noona.” He groaned, closing his eyes and twisting his wrist a certain way. With a swipe of his thumb, he smeared the precum that drooled from his tip over the head. In a situation like this, you figured your mouth would go dry and you’d need to lick your lips to wet them again. Was this what it felt like to be burning with thirst?
You wanted to encourage him on. Ask him if he liked it. Ask him if he wanted more and tell him how well he was doing. He was your love and he was perfection as he flexed his bicep to slide up and down his length.
Kook pursed his lips and then bit into the bottom one as you wished to do, and it is then that you realized he had drawn you to have these wants and desires.
He came with a growled curse, orgasm rippling through his body as several spurts of his cum landed on his chest. You eyed the fluid curiously, wondering what it would taste like if you licked it off his skin to show him your appreciation.
Kook stood from the bed carefully and padded over to the bathroom. Shortly after, you heard the shower turn on. You were left listening to him as you processed what had just happened.
Did he know you were watching him? You tried to wrap your head around the sentiment several times but came to no solid conclusion. There were two possibilities; either he knew you were watching and jerked himself off to show you that he knew, or, he had just touched himself to the thought of a picture.
When Kook reemerged, fresh and clean with hair still dripping a little onto his shoulders, you noticed something wrong about him. His posture was slumped and his head hung lowly with his chin almost touching his chest. There was no energy in him anymore. Was he tired?
He laid himself into his bed and pulled the covers over his body, only to whimper softly to the quietude of his room. You were shocked to find that he began to cry.
Without the lights on, you couldn’t see much. You could see his figure, a lump in his blanket, and you could see his arm folded over the black material as it curled into the pillow he held to his chest. All you knew was that he whimpered and sniffled for about twenty minutes before he became silent and his breathing evened out.
He cried himself to sleep.
The days following were filled with gloom. Kook didn’t even come near you. He avoided your eyes like the plague- the plague?- and kept to the other side of the room.
For about a week, Kook didn’t even look at you. He even had the nerve to put another sheet of paper over you to prevent you from seeing him. It didn’t prevent you from hearing him, though.
He cried most nights and stressfully mumbled to himself on others. With white over your eyes, you’d grown to judge his actions by the sounds he made.
Then, one day, something changed. Again.
You heard his apartment door swing open and shut with a thump, much different from the quiet and slow manner he usually did, and rushed into his room. He took the paper off of your face with a start, heaving with breath as if he had just run the entire way home from wherever he was.
“There you are, baby.”
You could cry at the way he breathed the sentence, caressing the pet name into your ears like a sailor reuniting with his other half after months at sea, and studied the new him like it was the first time you had ever seen him.
His hair was shorter than the last time you saw him those few days ago and a piercing sat perched on his right brow, reddening the skin to prove that it was as fresh as a few hours old.
Kook pulled up the chair to sit in front of you with a look of determination crinkling his brows. You watched with fascination as the piercing shifted in his flesh a little.
“I’m going to finish you now. Hobi told me that it would actually work.”
For a moment, you wondered what he was talking about and who Hobi was. Whoever the man was, he seemed to incite the inspiration back into Kook’s fingers as he picked up his pencil and got to work on you once more.
With each passing second, you were overjoyed to find that he was finally drawing your lips. Kook held his pencil with such care that you thought he feared it would break. It lightly rested on his middle finger and between his index finger and thumb while he began his first few lines of your top lip. Again, with each stroke, you developed new experiences.
You liked to sit in your car to watch thunderstorms. You despised dubstep music. You loved strawberry shortcake rolls and sushi.
By the time he moved to shape your bottom lip, you were headed to the pits of desire.
You liked to bite and suck on his lip. You preferred to leave hickeys rather than receive them. You loved it when he buried his face into your folds and when he took you over the desk.
The qualities you developed were all his own and they became every facet of your being by the time he got to shading in your lips. You couldn’t look away from him even if you tried.
The tattoos on Kook’s hands were right in your face. With every new trait that you gained to your personality, you came to wonder more and more what it would feel like to kiss the top of each knuckle and glide your fingers up the expanse of inked art in his skin.
You finally felt complete when you gained sensation in your lips. With a small smirk, Kook sketched in a chain around your neck adorned with a small ‘J.’ You didn’t know what it meant, however, you were thankful for the extra amount of bling nonetheless.
Then, he opened a drawer and picked out a pack of colored pencils. You were ecstatic to find that he was going to give you color.
He used a dark color first, taking it to the paper as he did with his original pencil in his fingertips. You couldn’t tell what color it was as you only saw in black and white but as soon as he placed the first stroke down, though, you saw his eyes.
Beautiful, brown eyes. Wide with focus and warm with emotion of artistry. You felt as if you were seeing him for the first time and you were in love with him then, yet again.
Kook pulled his tongue between his teeth as he continued coloring you and you watched in wonder as his room suddenly came to life with color.
His bed was truly black, black blankets and black pillows making for a mood-setter that the room surrounded. His walls were a dark blue, almost black, and it brought out the light color of the shelves and objects placed on top of them.
His speaker that played the grunge music was silver. His guitar was a dark caramel. His book bag was, as you expected, black. The man seemed to love everything dark and black and you adored it.
Of course, with his taste in color, he colored in the jacket that you wore as black too. It was a simple hoodie that sat unzipped across your chest. It contrasted starkly to the white tank top that he left over your breasts.
Kook sat back with finality again and looked at you like you were the world. You imagined you’d blush even more than the light shading of pink he put on your cheeks.
Lowly, he spoke to you.
“Okay, love. I’m going to try this now.”
He picked up your journal for the first time and held you in his hands. You could see the hesitation in his eyes for whatever he was about to do. He blinked robotically and sat up straight, an instinct to “reset” his mind to make it open.
“Hi, Y/N. I’m Jungkook.” He winced.
He gave you a name.
Your name was yours. It was meant to be yours. As you took in the fact that he had finally given you a name, you realized that it was your name all along. You were always Y/N. You were her from the first time you saw him. In the countless hours and days that you lived on his paper in his room, you were always meant to be his Y/N.
His name was Jungkook. You’d gone weeks believing that he was Kook, but the revelation of his full name made you understand that it was just a nickname. Your creator was Jungkook and you loved him. You had loved him since the day you were made.
When nothing more happened and he continued to stare at you, he huffed with frustration and repeated his sentence again.
“Hi, Y/N. I’m Jungkook.” You weren’t sure why he had said it again. To be honest, you weren’t sure why he was speaking to you at all. You were just a drawing to him.
A few seconds passed before he was muttering under his breath. “That motherfucker lied to me.”
He stood from his chair angrily and you couldn’t help but feel like you had failed him somehow. What was he trying to do? You felt helpless.
Jungkook picked up his phone and scrolled for a moment with exasperation clear in the way he scrunched up his nose. After tapping a few times, he held the phone to his ear.
You heard the line ring lowly. After four rings, the person on the other end picked up. The greeting of the other person was hardly audible.
“You’re a fucking liar, Hoseok.” There was venom in Jungkook’s voice. You had never experienced anger from him before and the new emotion did not belong on him. You hated this ‘Hoseok’ person for making him angry.
After a few beats of the indistinct rambling from the person on the other end, Jungkook replied again.
“Nothing happened. Nothing at all.”
Silence followed before he continued.
“I did exactly what you told me to do. I did it twice.”
Faintly, you heard the words, ‘Are you sure?’
“Yes, I’m sure, you dick.” Jungkook laughed incredulously. “I can’t believe I actually fell for it.”
Without letting the other person respond, Jungkook hung up and tossed his phone on the bed. Then, he stalked over to you with a look on his face that would’ve sent shivers down your spine if you could produce physical movement.
In one swift movement, your creator picked your journal up and snapped it closed, encasing you in the blackness that was the cover. You couldn’t see anything anymore. You could only hear.
You felt him carry you a few steps before you were ultimately squished tightly into something. You tried with everything you could to shift around and move due to the uncomfortable circumstance but, to no avail, you still couldn’t fucking move.
You figured he would have another bout of not being able to look at you for a few days, so you patiently waited for the day when he would finally open you back up again. You knew that he loved you because of the feeling he put in to creating you, so there was no way he could stay away for long.
You waited for days, used to the sentiment of waiting for him to overcome his emotions, yet it only seemed to get worse.
You lived out your days within your closed sketchbook and assumed he put you on the bookshelf where he placed all of his old textbooks that he never used anymore. You were used to the tightness by the time the first month in your tight space passed. You didn’t mind. He would come back to take you out soon.
Except, he didn’t.
A month turned into two months and two months turned into six. You heard him continue his every day life without you for so long that you got used to his schedule.
He’d wake up early in the morning, go for a run, shower and eat breakfast, go to school- or work, you didn’t know- and then come back to change and lounge in his apartment. Sometimes, he brought someone over to try and satisfy the imminent need for sexual pleasure as a human, however, they would never stay the night and he left each encounter sounding even more empty than the last.
On many nights, he cried into his pillow. His sobs would tear you to pieces as they were muffled for no one even remotely close to hear. You wanted to hold him close to your chest and run your fingers through his hair and whisper that he had you and that he wasn’t alone. Your entire existence came to be because of him and you felt the guilt begin to creep in from the notion that you maybe you took away everything he had left.
What truly scared you, though, was when he stopped crying after about a year of you not seeing him.
Jungkook went silent. You no longer heard him listening to Justin Bieber. He didn’t play grunge music over his speakers anymore. He stopped humming meaningless tunes to himself when you figured he was studying. It seemed that he had finally found content with the emptiness he was undoubtedly suffering and that was what terrified you the most. Helplessly, you sat on his bookshelf and listened to him lose himself to the throes of time.
Before you knew it, two years of not being able to see nor comfort him passed and you were beginning to feel the dull edges of life without Jungkook, taking away what kept you into being.
Two years and eight months of listening to Jungkook live his life as he tried to find a spark of happiness later, you resorted to only hearing parts of his life. It wasn’t that you had control over when you listened and didn’t listen- truthfully, you would’ve stopped listening to him ages ago if you could- but it was that your conscious went dark for certain periods of time. You had no way to gauge how long you were out because you could only hear your creator doing the same things over and over again when you came back.
Then, he was moving. How long had it been since you had been created? Three years, perhaps? Five? You would have had a better chance at knowing had you not been fading in and out of existence.
You came back to men coming into his apartment to gather things and leave with them. You heard Jungkook take his bed apart and tell the men that they could take it to the truck. He sighed as he grabbed pencils and belongings to shove into what you figured to be boxes.
The bookshelf you sat on was the last place he needed to clear out.
“Are we taking all of these to the truck? You’ll probably need another box for that.”
You were suddenly hyperaware that Jungkook may have been looking at your journal as the men referenced your resting place. You anxiously awaited his response.
“Nah. I think I’m going to donate them. I have no need for college textbooks anymore. Can’t even sell them ‘cause most of them are out of date.” You heard the frown in his voice. “I will be needing a box though.”
“Gotcha.” One of the men said.
You were forgotten. It was undeniable by that point that Jungkook was ready to toss you away. Any hope you had of finally seeing him again was lost with his words. You outlived your time with him by using hope to drive you forward. Now that you had no hope, the same as your creator, you let it go.
With a final thought of content with the emptiness, just as Jungkook had achieved years prior, you faded into nothingness.
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A warm exhale brushed against your skin. Not your skin- your paper. You were being yanked out of the darkness incredibly fast and your vision was filled with bright light.
“This is her?” Someone asked.
“In the graphite.” Another replied.
“Dude, you’re not funny.”
His laugh was familiar. “I’d like to think I am.”
You stared at a ceiling and, for the first time, you were having difficulty processing the things around you. Was this a store?
Two men stood above you, one looking down at you the right way and one just within sight, upside down.
“She’s gorgeous.” The one with blonde hair said.
The one that was upside down smiled, his eyebrow piercing shifting in his flesh, yet his smile didn’t reach his eyes. You were slow to remember how you knew him.
“She was my dream girl, once upon a time.” He sighed.
“Don’t give me that ‘once upon a time’ bullshit. It’s only been a few years, hasn’t it?”
“A little over five since you gave the journal to me.”
“Poor thing.” The blonde one said. “She’s been stuck in there that whole time, Kook?”
Kook. The name triggered something within you and you struggled to remember just what the name meant to you.
“I…” Kook trailed off. “… I guess she has…”
The blonde leaned down to inspect you closer than he did before. “What’s her name?”
“I called her Y/N.” The name sparked a distant memory, reminding you of a past you had long forgotten over the course of your time in the shading.
“Y/N,” The blonde repeated. “What a perfect name for her.”
Kook rotated you so that he was facing you, the blonde becoming upside down in the process.
“She was perfect, Hobi. I was very proud of her.” Kook muttered as he stared down at you. His brown eyes were so familiar yet you couldn’t place where you knew them from.
Within your bounds of paper, something simmered; you felt the hum of things unknown stirring your insides with his compliment.
“How old were you when you made her?” Hobi tilted his head at you. “She looks like she’s a bit older than you were when I gave it to you.”
Jungkook sighed, closing his eyes with a wince. “At the time, I pictured her as my noona. No more than three years my senior at most.”
The blonde chuckled. “Oh? Is this a noona kink I hear?”
“Fuck off. I was nineteen and young. You can’t blame me for being into older women back then.”
“Well, it looks like it worked against you, Kook.” Hobi replied. “She’s younger than you now.”
Instead of responding, Jungkook settled on rolling his eyes at the other man.
After a few moments of staring at you, the blonde man spoke again. “You know the words, right?”
“Remind me.”
“Hi, Y/N. I’m ‘state your name.’”
Kook sighed and looked at you while Hobi held your journal in place.
“Hi, Y/N. I’m Jungkook.”
Suddenly, you remembered everything.
The sorrow. The pain. The longing. The loneliness. You felt it all at once whilst you remembered the years you had experienced Jungkook’s emotions firsthand. As you struggled against the confines of your paper prison, you were terribly reminded that, yet again, you still couldn’t fucking move after all this time.
“She’s got some life in her.” Hobi remarked. Your efforts ceased in shock- he knew that you were conscious?
Jungkook looked up at him in annoyance. “What?”
“She’s practically vibrating the page. I couldn’t feel her before, but now? It’s fucking crazy.” Hobi touched a thumb to your forehead soothingly and spoke up as if he was addressing you. “Don’t you worry, love. We’ll get you out.”
You paused for a moment and processed what the blonde had just said. They’ll… get you out?
“She’s been sleeping for so long that she’s particularly weak. I can’t imagine how awful it was for her.” Hobi said. He left your vision for a moment and you were left staring into the hopeful brown eyes of your creator. Emotion swam within them as the both of you waited for what was to come.
Suddenly, the room went dark. The only light that you saw was from a candle in the far corner of the room. It shed shadows on Jungkook’s face that brought out the best of his features.
“Why’d you turn off the lights?”
Hobi returned to you and framed your journal with his hands again. “She’s a drawn person and all that is her resides in the shading you gave her. She needs shade to manifest.”
“Bro, I’m not gonna lie,” Jungkook backed away slightly with hesitation evident in his eyes. “This sounds like some witchcraft shit.”
“Not that there’s anything wrong with witchcraft,” Hobi chided. “It’s not. It’s Wicca.”
“Wicca?” Jungkook questioned and cocked his pierced brow again.
“I’ll tell you about it later. Let’s get this poor girl out of here first. I need you to fix her up if you have anything to fix.”
Hobi handed a pencil to your artist, smiling softly as he took it from his grasp.
“I swear to god, Hobi,” Jungkook grabbed onto his outstretched arm. “If you’re just fucking with me, I will actually cut you off. Like, forever.”
“Why would I lie to you about something like this? I know how important this is to you.”
“I know, I know…” He replied. He sighed heavily and let his head hang down for a moment. “I’ve just been through enough of the bullshit, you know?”
“I know, bro. I know. I’d never do that to you. We’re brothers for a reason, aren’t we?” Hobi placed his hand on the other’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.
The two men remained silent for a moment. The blonde stared at the brunette with care and worry in his eyes while the brunette closed his own eyes and took another breath in an attempt to relax himself.
You waited patiently for your creator, knowing how heavily he suffered from his emotions. You didn’t know why he had been so sad for the past few years, but you wanted to be able to help him through them so that he didn’t cry himself to sleep ever again. You hated that you couldn’t help him before, but if you even had the slightest chance to relieve him of his worries, you’d lay down everything you had.
“Let’s do this.”
Jungkook paused. “What am I doing that’s different from last time? Surely, just repeating it won’t change anything.”
“Well,” Hobi dropped his hand. “This time, I need you to cry.”
The room was silenced at the weight of Hobi’s words. It seemed that Jungkook was just as shocked as you.
“You need me to… cry?”
“For what?”
Hobi sighed and shook his head. “Because your emotions are what give her power.”
“Dude,” Jungkook said almost immediately. “She shouldn’t even have power. Why is it that she gets power from my emotions? Why wouldn’t she have power from someone else’s emotions? And-“ Jungkook stopped looking at Hobi to look at you. “Why does she get power from emotions?”
“Stop asking questions and cry, you fucking bonehead.”
Your creator spluttered in disbelief, widening his eyes. “Well, I don’t know how to cry just like that. I can’t cry on command like you can, you asshole.”
“I’m not telling you to cry on command, Jungkook. I need emotion from you.” Hobi turned to look at you with concerned eyes. “Crying on command won’t release any emotion because it’s fake. I need something real from you, so, unless you can give me pure happiness or something else as pure as how much a sad boy you are, Y/N won’t be going anywhere.”
You processed what the two were saying, trying to understand how Jungkook actually gave you power by being sad. Even as you struggled to wrap your head around the concept, you somehow knew that you were the most perceptive when Jungkook was emotional.
“Let’s start at the root of why you’re sad.”
Jungkook turned to look at Hobi again. Even in the paper and anxiously awaiting your emergence from it, you looked to the brunette curiously. You’d always wondered why he was sad. If he was about to reveal it now, you were all ears.
“Well…” Jungkook lost volume and hesitated, looking at the blonde again.
“Don’t tell me-” Hobi grabbed the man by his shoulders and rotated him to face you. Jungkook widened his eyes. “-Tell her.”
The artist sucked in a breath as he connected his eyes with yours. You were ready.
“Lena.” He seemed to struggle with his words. “She let me down.”
“How’d she let you down?”
“She cheated.”
You imagined that you’d frown at the information. Who, in their right mind, would cheat on such a wonderful and precious man as him? The anger you felt towards Lena only increased the more you thought about it.
“How long were you guys together?” Hobi asked, although, by the tone in his voice, he seemed to already know the answer.
Jungkook’s breathing seemed to waver before he spoke. “Five years.”
Briefly, in the short moment he looked away from you, you saw the reflection of the candle on a building tear in his eye.
The blonde lowered his head slightly and narrowed his gaze on the artist. “How long had she been cheating on you for?”
You were shocked to your core. After all this time, the pain was still very real for Jungkook. You saw the familiar crease in his chin as he held himself back from revealing everything.
“So, tell me,” Hobi said. “It’s been five years, right? Why haven’t you moved on?”
“I did!” Jungkook defended, lip trembling. “It just became impossibly difficult to make a connection like that again.”
Hobi fell silent for a moment and spread his lips into a thin line. You knew how Hobi felt, knowing this information yet being unable to do anything about it, and thanked whoever watched over Jungkook that the blonde was in his life.
“Look, I know how you feel,” Hobi said. “but-”
Jungkook cut him off.
“Do you? Do you know how it feels to get your heart ripped out and then never returned? Fuck, man,” The man ran his fingers through his hair. “I feel like I haven’t been able to feel at home or comfortable in my own skin in ages. I hate who I’ve become and who I’m becoming. I hate that I can’t feel and I hate that I’m numb all the time. I thought it’d be better than feeling all of that pain. But,”
Jungkook sniffled and exhaled heavily, voice cracking. “I was dead wrong. This is so much worse. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore.”
Finally, a tear slipped from Jungkook’s eye. It streamed down his cheek slowly, mournfully, and drew a glistening line down his skin. You tried, with everything you had, to reach a hand out of your paper prison to wipe it from his face but it only became frustrating when you couldn’t. You couldn’t care for him or love him the way you wanted to and you loathed your existence for being such a helpless drag.
As if in a hurry, Hobi ushered him closer to you. You didn’t know if it was good that Jungkook finally cried with emotion or if it was terribly awful to see the product of his relentless pain. Instead of worrying about it, you waited for the blonde’s next move.
He raised his hand to your creator’s face and swiped a finger under a fresh teardrop, letting it hang from his fingertip. Then, he put his finger right over your chest and let the tear drop to the paper.
For the first time, you felt a sensation other than the touch of a finger to your paper skin; you felt wetness. You felt actual, tangible pain. Agony. Heartache. Loss.
And love. Real, heartwarming, ethereal love.
Your chest caved and your bones shuddered- your bones shuddered- and you felt the undeniable sensation of gut-wrenching warmth in your body.
Then, you blinked. And then, you blinked again.
Jungkook’s body continued to tremble as he turned away from you. You physically furrowed your eyebrows at the action despite your shock from your spontaneous ability to actually fucking move.
Hobi watched you intently with a growing smile on his face. You were thankful for his attention, scared of what was happening to you and in need of someone to anchor to. Your chest continued to cave and it was becoming increasingly harder to see past the brightening light in your eyes.
Your vision went white all at once, but not before you faintly heard Hobi mutter a low ‘Oh shit.’
Everything ceased. You couldn’t hear anything. Couldn’t see anything. Any sensation you felt before was suddenly gone to the overbearing luminescence of the whiteness. The terror in your blood set in at the possibility that maybe this is what death was like.
Then, your fingers tingled. And your toes. And your knees creaked. And your heart started beating.
And then your back was slamming into something. Hard.
Air failed to come to you as you tried to take your first breath. You didn’t realize your eyes were closed until you opened them in your struggle to the darkness of the room.
You were on the floor, that much was certain by the way Hobi and Jungkook looked down at you with wide, surprised eyes. You groaned lowly in pain and Jungkook staggered back.
“Impossible.” He whispered.
Instead of continuing the silence, Hobi spoke up. “Hello there, Y/N. Nice of you to join us.”
You coughed as you tried to speak for the first time, unused to actually using your vocal cords. “Hobi?”
“I knew you were in there.” The blonde smiled and kneeled down to help you stand. Although it was a foreign sensation, you managed to stand on two feet. “Very nice to meet you, love. My actual name is Hoseok.”
“Nice to meet you.” Your throat was dry as you returned the sentiment.
After a beat spent leaning into Hoseok’s arms and looking at the table you had just broken, you turned your eyes to Jungkook, unsure of how to go about the fact that you could actually move, and found him frozen with his back to the wall.
“J-” You stuttered with the disbelief of the fact that you were finally made of flesh weighing down your tongue. “-Jungkook?”
Although your memories were fake, implanted by his emotional intentions, the feelings associated with him were real. You never actually went out on coffee dates with him, but he had imagined them when he drew you. You never actually spent days cuddled with him on his bed while you binged The Mandalorian, but it was what he had always wanted to do when he drew a small section of your hair. You never kissed him nor touched him, but when he made you, he gave those imaginary creations to you so that you could live your life within his imagination.
Your feelings for him were real and so were his for you. You knew it to be true.
Instead of addressing your presence, the brunette turned to face Hoseok. “Is this real? Like, is this happening right now?”
“It’s as real as it gets, Kook.”
Ever so slowly, your creator pushed himself off of the wall and approached you. A look of bewilderment controlled his features, but even then, there was a hint of hope in his eyes.
“Noo- Y/N,” He tripped over his words. You could just barely suppress your smile at the slip up. “You’re… real.”
You could only whisper in confirmation. “I’m real, Kook.”
Your statement seemed to be the only thing he needed to rush forward and encase you in his embrace. Just as you thought, it surrounded you with the smell of rain and mineral. Another note in his aroma sent your mind reeling, though, and you couldn’t place it. You had never smelled anything like it before, containing the slightest amount of salt and a certain sweetness, but you couldn’t tell what it was.
Without waiting another moment, you raised your arms and wrapped one around his waist, squeezing gently as his body trembled, and raised the other to the back of his head to cradle it in your grasp. His hair felt like silk beneath your fingers and his arms felt like the epitome of home. Jungkook sighed against your neck and dug his nose into your shoulder, taking a long inhale.
For the first time, you truly felt the heat of his body and the love in his heart. You glowed with energy, feeling your being become alight with the vigorous need to protect him and never let him go.
“Would you guys like for me to give you a ride home?” Hoseok asked after a moment. You had honestly forgotten that he was still in the room.
Jungkook froze in his hold. The action made it a little obvious that he had forgotten the other man’s presence too. Despite his inherent surprise, your creator was the first one to answer.
“No, it’s okay. It’s not far. We can walk.” Jungkook pulled away to speak to his friend, yet his eyes never left you. There was something strange in his stare that you weren’t expecting. Although his emotions were usually easy to read, the one you noticed didn’t make any sense.
Unease. The slight wrinkle above his eyebrow and the clench of his jaw was evidence enough of the doubt he felt.
“Then get out of my shop.” Hoseok walked over to turn the lights back on. “I was supposed to be closed twenty minutes ago.”
Jungkook tugged on your hand before you could comment any further.
With a rushed ‘thank you!’ and a small, knowing smile from Hoseok in response, you were exiting the glass doors into the humid heat of the summer night’s air.
You only walked for about ten seconds before you couldn’t take the silence. You had been silent for too long.
“Jungkook, I love you.”
The man’s hand tightened around your fingers and you reveled in the sensation despite it being a little painful. You could feel it. That was all that mattered.
“I- Y/N-“ He grit his teeth and pulled you closer to his side. “You aren’t even supposed to actually exist. We need to figure things out first.”
You were quick to meet his hesitation with honest reassurance. “We can, but we don’t need to figure out the fact that I love you. I do love you. So much.”
Jungkook stopped walking and turned to face you. “Y/N, you don’t know me. You can’t love me.”
“Everything that I am- everything that I have become- is you, Jungkook.” You said confidently. “I exist because of you. I was made by your hand and, with all of the things you’ve given me to make me- well, me- I know you like the back of my own hand.”
For a moment, Jungkook twisted his lips in thought.
“When’s my birthday?”
You scoffed in disbelief. “Easy. September first.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What’s my favorite color?”
“It’s black.” You laughed. “Your old room did not hide that fact in the slightest.”
“You remember my old room?”
You sighed. “It’s the only room of yours I remember. I never saw where you moved to.”
Your creator paused for a moment, shocked. “You know that I moved?”
The sigh of disappointment that escaped your lips was impossible to catch. “I was there the entire time, Kook.”
Jungkook took a step back, baffled, before he stepped forward and took both of your hands into his own. “You were there when I-“ Tears collected in his eyes. There was guilt tainting the purity of his voice. “When I-“
“When you closed me up? Yes, Jungkook. I was there.”
“Oh god,” He whimpered audibly and hung his head under the weight of the revelation. “I’m so sorry.” Your heart couldn’t take the sight.
Instead of sulking further, you tugged him until he got the message that you wanted to continue walking. He stumbled for the first two steps until he was trailing behind you with a lack of energy.
“Where is your place?” You asked, striding down the street confidently. It felt amazing to finally be alive with the one you loved in your grasp.
“Turn left.” He wavered. You followed the direction instantly, pivoting to walk down another street.
Jungkook’s tearful directions brought you to the front of an apartment building after fifteen minutes. Despite his low mutterings of culpability, you didn’t worry. You had already forgiven him when he came back to you. It didn’t matter that it had taken a few years. All that mattered was that he could see you now, just as you had seen him then.
Your artist’s mood suddenly shifted when you entered the building and eyes of people around the lobby shifted to look at you. His arm was strong as he yanked you close to him and wrapped an arm around your waist. It seemed almost like an act of possessiveness. You didn’t mind it in the slightest as he held you to his side until you were entering the elevator.
You still had a small problem though.
“Jungkook,” You whispered as you looked up at him. “I love you.”
“You can’t love me. It’s impossible. I’m not…” He trailed off and winced, looking away to the increasing floor numbers. “… loveable.”
“After all this time, you don’t believe me?” You raised your hand to cradle his cheek, lightly nudging his face to make him look at you again. “Jungkook, I’ve loved you from the moment you first drew my left pupil. I’ve never stopped caring for you and wishing the best for you. You did nothing wrong.”
The elevator dinged as he stared at you, speechless yet again. It almost seemed as if he was contemplating something. “It’s… insane that you were conscious then. I can’t even imagine how much you saw.”
Then, something clicked in him. “Wait. Just how much have you seen?”
The elevator doors opened to his floor and you rushed out with a sheepish laugh to avoid that conversation.
“Y/N,” Jungkook followed you closely. “What have you seen?”
When he pulled you to a stop in front of a door and backed you against it by grabbing your shoulders to face him, your heart kickstarted into a race of emotion. You still couldn’t believe that you could feel him touching you.
Looking in his eyes would never get old, yet it seemed that in this certain situation, it was hard to maintain the eye contact. Jungkook was too close for you to even think clearly.
“E-everything.” You stuttered, dumbfounded by the sensation.
“Everything?” Jungkook reached behind you to open the door with a narrowed gaze. You slightly fell back when the door gave way into his apartment. “What is everything?”
You backed up under his questions and turned to find an apartment much nicer than the room he used to stay in all those years ago.
“When I say ‘everything,’ Jungkook,” You hesitated, looking around the main area and taking your shoes off. It was your effort to avoid looking at him at all. “I mean everything.”
“So you saw when I…” He trailed off. “And those times I…”
You hummed in confirmation, proceeding deeper into his apartment as he referred to all of the times he touched himself the way he liked and the instances he managed to bring a woman home. When you found his bedroom, you turned back to him and raised your eyebrows in a question for permission to enter.
“Oh, uh- sure. Just-“ He mumbled. “Don’t mind the mess.”
“What mess?” You asked, turning around as you stepped through the open door. “Oh.”
The room was completely covered in scattered paper. Upon further inspection, you realized that the papers had small sketches of parts of- you.
“I tried recreating you.” Jungkook explained to satisfy your curiosity. “I just couldn’t get it right. Every time I got close to drawing your mouth, I fucked it up somehow.”
You gingerly picked up one of the sketches and held it closer to your face to get a better look at it.
“I looked like this?” It was truly a wonder to see what you had come from. His skill hadn’t declined at all. You still recognized the smudge of eyeliner. You were suddenly aware of the cross earring dangling from your earlobe and the ‘J’ necklace that wrapped around your neck when you saw them drawn on the paper.
“No. You were much more…” Jungkook trailed off as if he regretted letting the words come out of his mouth. “… beautiful.”
With the statement, you turned to look at him and found him staring down at a paper in his hand. He had a look of frustration tainting his handsome face.
Without wasting any more time, you grabbed his paper from him and placed both yours and his on the nearby desk. The tension was building and you were beginning to lose yourself to it as the pulse in your chest and between your legs strengthened.
“You were always my artist, Jungkook. You have been since the day you made me. You are the most skilled artist I know.”
“Am I not… the only artist you know?”
“Be quiet and listen to me, Jungkook.” You grabbed him by the hand and sat him on his bed, only to place your hands on your hips. He stared up at you, wide-eyed and shocked by your action, but you proceeded forward confidently.
“You drew me and you brought me to life. All of those emotions… you felt all of them and you gave them to me. I felt every single one. I watched you hurt and I watched you cry. I watched you get broken time and time again only to shut off after. I hated that I couldn’t help you.” You took a step forward to grab his face in both of your hands. “But I’m here now, by whatever grace of god, and I’m here to stay. There is no way in hell I would even think about leaving your side after going through what we’ve been through together.”
You took a breath after your rant and huffed to finalize your statement. “So, I love you. Wholeheartedly and completely. I’m in love with you.”
His brown eyes were open wide for a few seconds and you studied them in search of any sort of response. What you weren’t expecting was for his eyebrows to turn up and his eyes to fill with tears. You also didn’t expect to feel a warmth in your chest that radiated so much heat that you had to look down and clutch at your chest in bewilderment.
When you looked back up at him, the tears in his eyes were spilling over, but there was a smile on his lips- albeit, it was a small smile, but it was a smile. Your creator was crying tears of unbridled joy.
“I’ve loved the idea of you since I was a kid.” He sniffled and you thumbed away a tear that threatened to cross down his face again. “Someone who would stick by me and understand the things I went through. Someone who wouldn’t leave me just because of the things that haunt me everyday. I-“ He hiccuped. “I just wanted someone to love me for me. And I love you. I’ve loved you since the day I starting sketching you in fifth grade.”
You felt wetness prickling at your eyes and, suddenly, you were also crying. What a sensation. You smiled and leaned in to press your foreheads and noses together. In true peace with him, you closed your eyes and let your tears fall.
The two of you were together. After five years of the impossible love that- quite literally- crossed dimensions, you could love each other for what you were.
“Y/N,” Jungkook whispered. His breath fanned against your chin. “Can I kiss you now?”
“Please.” You whimpered under the wave of passion that flooded your body and bubbled up in your chest.
You sprang forward as he opened his arms to snatch you into his chest and you kissed him with a smile, true happiness within your soul completely wiping away any prior sadness. His lips smashed into yours with such vigor that it borderline hurt, yet you only felt his tears against your cheeks and the ardor in his kiss.
The two of you fell back onto his bed and your body began to tremble in excitement. Five long years of unexperienced memories of loving him and being with him had taken a toll on your patience. For five years, you loved him from afar and gotten to know him through your own eyes despite the memories he had already given you. After five terribly long years, you finally had him.
Jungkook’s hands gripped at your hips, squeezing harshly as you laid against him and pressed your body onto his. He whimpered when you bit into his bottom lip like you loved to do. He had drawn you to love doing it because he loved it too.
Your bodies moved in sync with each other, perfectly attuned to each other’s needs. Everything about you was him and everything about him was you. He groaned lowly as you sucked his lip between both of yours and swiped your tongue across it.
Your hand was sliding down his body, just as he liked, until it stopped at his waist and squeezed. When you pulled away, his eyes were pleading. You knew what he wanted.
Your fingers fumbled with his button and zipper to the jeans he wore while you leaned your lips into his ear. “I love you, Kookie.”
“Noona.” He whined and then froze, realizing the name he had just called you.
“So Hobi was right.” You teased and smiled smugly. “You do have a noona kink.”
“N-no.” He shivered as you splayed your hand under his shirt, slightly digging your nails into his skin. “Okay, maybe.”
“Even though you’re older than me, you can call me that. Okay?” You let your hand gradually descend further down until it was teasing his happy trail. Playfully, you pinched some of the hairs between your fingers.
“Okay.” The man replied all-too quickly.
His boxers were useless against your snaking fingers. You quickly slipped below them and grabbed ahold of his hardening cock, slowly stroking his flesh to hardness. “Tell me you love me, Kookie.”
In response to your touch and your words, he arched his back to roll his hips into rhythm with your languid strokes.
“I love you, noona.” He whispered.
With a grin, you placed a kiss onto the shell of his ear, took your hand out of his pants, and slid down his legs until you were on your knees on the floor. He sat up on his elbows to look down at you.
“Then, let me love you.” You breathed.
He nodded quickly.
You trailed your hands up his legs and placed your hands on both of his thighs like you had watched him do before, squeezing the supple and muscular flesh. You wanted to do it too. To please him. To love him the way he deserved.
You moved your hands up until you hooked your fingers under both waistbands of his jeans and boxers before tugging. He helped you by raising his hips to allow you the room to slide his pants down his legs.
With a sharp intake of breath, his dick unfolded from the confines his pants kept them in and laid with a light thump onto his stomach. While he kicked his pants the rest of the way off his ankles, you returned your hands to his thighs and reveled in the way his skin felt below touch.
“N-noona.” He stuttered, huffing for breath and shaking some of his hair from his eyes. “Please love me.”
“I love you, Kookie.” It was endearing to see him turn into putty for you and you had no problem repeating the words as many times as he wanted you to. You looked up into his eyes again while you leaned into his left thigh. “So much.”
Your lips connected to his inner thigh like they were meant to be there and only when you inched closer did you feel his hand cradling the back of your head. He didn’t pull you any closer but you felt the caress of his needy fingers.
His dick jerked while you inched closer to it and your mouth started to water at the sight of the engorged flesh sitting prettily as it waited for your attention. With a short glance to his face, you got a hint for how excited he was; it didn’t help in containing your own excitement to see how wide his beautiful eyes were nor how his lips were slightly agape as his breaths came faster.
You got to his dick in a matter of a few seconds that were the result of your impatience, letting your bottom lip lightly drag up the shaft until you reached the ridge of his tip. Truly, it was a sight to behold.
With a tentative swipe, you licked across the top and drew up the small bit of pre-cum that managed to escape from him. Just as you expected, it was salty, yet it sat perfectly on your tastebuds while you hummed in delight of his most heady taste. This was the source of the scent you had smelled when you first hugged him.
“Oh.” He breathed. “Can you do that again?”
You smiled and nodded, letting your tongue flick across him again whilst placing your arms on top of his thighs and your hands to the sides of his waist. He loved it when you did that.
Before you knew it, you were wrapping your lips around his tip to swirl your tongue while your forehead and nose pressed into the skin of his stomach. He tasted perfect and you couldn’t get enough of him. You wanted to suck in everything he had to offer while his thighs trembled below you.
“Oh god.” You felt him shift when you grabbed him by the base and propped it up to help with slightly nudging him into your mouth. Then, you closed your lips around him and sucked.
Jungkook collapsed to the bed while you worked your tongue on the underside of his dick, right in the spot he loved to touch so much. You had no need to deepthroat. He was sensitive enough where you laved against him.
When you got the chance to look up at him again, you smiled at the sight of him tightly holding a pillow to his face and his abs twitching uncontrollably below his t-shirt. With a slight stroke of your hand to match the suctioning of your mouth, he muffled a moan into the pillow.
You pulled him out of your mouth and swayed your tongue back and forth across his length as you went down, noting the veins and ridges in your path, until your retraced them when you went from base to tip again. It was too much to resist sucking him back between your lips to reattach your tongue to his sensitive spot. He let out another garbled moan whilst he squeezed the pillow tighter against his face.
Suddenly, he was pulling the pillow off of him and throwing it to the side in order to sit up and push you off of him. For a brief second, you fought against the action to greedily take more of him, but he wasn’t having it. You were surprised to find that he was about to cum.
“Please let me love you, noona.” He breathed, leaning down to lift you into his lap. For a moment, you struggled in his grip, but it wasn’t long before you were straddling his waist as he wrapped his arms around yours and pulled you to him. His dick lightly pressed to the area between your clothed thighs.
“Love me.” You whispered against his lips.
He shoved a hand down the front of your pants and kissed you again. With his finger slipping between your pussy lips and onto the top of your clit, you tried to close your legs in reaction but only succeeded in squeezing his waist a little tighter.
Jungkook dipped a finger straight into your cunt but the angle made it difficult for him to go very far. Instead, he settled on twisting your bodies until you laid at the top of his bed. He sat on his heels for a moment as he scrambled to remove your pants from your legs and strip you of the barrier that kept you from him.
You reached down and took off your jacket and tank top to reveal all of your naked body to him, needing to show off what he made possible to make him proud. You wanted him to be proud of himself like he was proud of you.
“Oh, you’re so beautiful.” He moaned. “So perfect.”
“I’m yours, Kookie. Don’t you forget that.”
“Never.” He said before he dove down between your legs.
You put your legs on his shoulders as his mouth pressed into your pussy, licking his way straight into your cunt to collect all that gathered there in the past few minutes. Then, he pressed two fingers into you to take his tongue’s place while it got to work on your clit. You grabbed for his free hand, threading your fingers together, and placed your other hand in his long hair to grab a fistful of it while you cried out to the ceiling.
He parted from your clit to raise his head and look at you. Love filled his eyes like never before and he leaned down to affectionately lick on your clit again so that he could watch your reaction. His tongue was hot and oh, so wet, as it abused your bundle of nerves. A dreamy expression overtook him when you moaned with your eyebrows furrowed.
“Oh, Kookie. So good.” You heaved a breath as he pumped his fingers harder, massaging against your velvet walls in different spots with each thrust. “So perfect.”
He stretched you out well, scissoring his fingers to slightly open you so that he could ready you for his dick, but you didn’t need to be prepped. You were made for him.
“Love me, Jungkook. Inside and out.”
“I love you.” He said automatically, slipping his fingers out of you and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Then, he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. “Let me grab a condom.”
You waited as he leaned over you to reach into his nightstand. His torso slightly spread your legs wider and you leaned up to press a kiss to his tattooed shoulder while he struggled to grab ahold of one.
Jungkook came back to his original position with the foil between his fingers, already in the hurried process of tearing it open. Carefully, he slid it on and then stroked himself a few times to fit it snugly against him. Before you knew it, he was pulling you to him and positioning himself against your slit.
“You’re mine.” He muttered, almost as if it was meant for only him to hear. “Only mine.”
With a cant of his hips, he split your walls to bury himself into you. As you anticipated, he fit inside you perfectly, filling you to undeniable flawlessness. The lube on the condom made the slide of him inside you much more smooth and effortless. Warmth encased your body when he brought your legs onto his forearms and leaned down, folding you in the process.
“I’m yours.”
He thrusted to more firmly plant himself inside you and you whimpered loudly at the sensual love from the movement. Your pussy parted for him in such a way you would have never imagined.
For a bit, Jungkook just rutted in you so that he could lean down and kiss your lips. He breathed heavily, exhaling his delicious breath onto your lips while you locked your arms around his neck and attempted to pull him deeper than he already was.
He pulled out suddenly and grunted.
“Fuck this.” Jungkook reached down and yanked off the condom, tossing it to the floor. You giggled at his carelessness “I need to feel you, baby.”
When he entered you again, it was different. Although he remained loving, there was a fierceness in his movement that was not present before. Jungkook grabbed onto your hip and dug his other arm below your back so that he could grab onto the nape of your neck, cradling you.
“Noona,” He whispered, leaning down with a small push of his hips into you. You gasped your response.
“Let me-” He hissed when you involuntarily clenched more tightly around him. “Please let me go harder.”
Your brain may as well have reset as he begged and you completely lost your mind at how good he sounded when he pleaded. You clenched again.
“Harder,” Was all you managed in the anticipation. “Go harder, baby.”
Jungkook smashed his lips onto yours as he became ferocious with his hips. An unrelenting rhythm pounding straight into your body drove you further into the darkness of his sheets and you cried out in the bliss of utter passion.
And oh, how you loved him.
Jeon Jungkook was your only love as he set a pace so harsh that you thought of nothing but the need to have him inside of you- always- and it was undoubtedly the most perfect sensation you could have felt in any lifetime. He gnashed his teeth together as he focused on where he speared into you repeatedly, grabbing onto the back of your neck as a means to keep you still so that he could he could have every facet of your attention and ounce of control.
“Perfect pussy.” He whispered through clenched teeth. “Feels so perfect. All messy.”
You grunted as he pressed into you so hard that his skin touched your clit. The stretch was glorious. Each greedy slurp of your bodies parting drove you further towards the brink of an orgasm. With abandon, you angled your hips so that you could revel in the sensation of him completely destroying your insides. The pressure was building incredibly fast.
Your teeth chattered from his filthy movement as you spoke despite you not being the slightest bit cold. “You’re i-in my g-guts.”
“Yeah, I am.” Jungkook agreed with a smirk, laughing breathlessly and slowing. “You’re too small for this dick.”
“No, I’m not!” You immediately protested, grinding your hips to try and egg him back on to his momentum. “I want it.”
“You want it?” He asked, shoving himself in you again. “You want my dick, noona?”
You hummed, nodded eagerly, and shifted with anticipation when he took your legs over his arms again.
“It’s all yours, baby. All yours. Was meant to be yours.” You definitely liked that.
Your creator picked up his rhythm, grunting with effort as he used his hips to pin yours into the mattress. It was only a matter of time before you were approaching your orgasm again with your toes curling.
“Kook,” You gasped a breath. “I’m going to-”
You didn’t have enough focus to finish your sentence because he had jammed his thumb into your clit during your declaration. With his touch, your body was racked with spasms and your arms tightened around his neck to bring his face into your neck and shoulder.
Jungkook hummed against your skin. “Oh fuck, noona. Gonna lock me in? Gonna keep me here when I cum in your pussy?”
Your moan of agreement was all you could manage. You were about to cum and nothing could bring you out of it. His words were sending you towards your climax even faster than before.
Jungkook could only kiss you once more before you hit bliss with a certain pass of his thumb over your nub. You moaned into his mouth while you dug your nails into his back and he sucked in a breath, obviously feeling the pain, yet it seemed to drive him even harder into you when you mindlessly dragged them down his skin.
You couldn’t keep your eyes open to watch his frame dominate yours. In waves, your body seized and squeezed around his unrelenting force until he, himself, was releasing deep into your depths to empty himself of his engorgement. He elicited a low growl and pressed his teeth into your neck lightly.
A few seconds passed, the two of you panting for air as you came down from your highs.
“Kookie,” You cooed, heaving for breath and smiling, completely out of it with the dreamy afterglow ridding you of common sense. “Oh, Kookie. I love you.”
He grinned with warm, sparkling eyes. It was then that you noticed his eyes were shiny because he had oncoming tears in them.
“And I love you, Y/N. More than anything, I do.”
You unwrapped your arms from his neck and let him pull away so that he could remove himself from your body and let you put your legs down. When you looked down to watch the action, you noted the thick glob of cum that quickly surfaced from within your cunt.
“Let’s go get cleaned up.” He laughed, eyes twinkling with tease as he looked down at the sight.
“Mhm.” You agreed.
Jungkook stood from the bed and held his hand out for you to take, which you gladly accepted, and then you both walked over to the bathroom hand-in-hand. Another warm spurt of his cum made the insides of your thighs sticky as you stepped through the door and shut it behind you.
He kept his hand clasped onto yours as he slid the door to the shower open and turned on the water. When he shut it again to keep any water from escaping, he turned to face you, only to pull you to him and push you until he trapped you between the counter of the sink and his naked body. With a sigh of contentment, he wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his face into the junction of your neck and shoulder.
“You’re here.” Jungkook mumbled there.
You giggled in response while you wrapped your arms around his neck and placed a hand to the back of his head. “I’m here, Kook.”
“And I’m awake.”
You couldn’t help but laugh again. “Yes, you’re awake.”
He squeezed his arms a little tighter around you, pulling you into his naked skin more firmly. “I can’t believe you’re actually real.”
Steam began to fill the ceiling of the bathroom as the two of you exchanged more simple comments about your existence. It was your queue to take the conversation into the shower.
“That time I touched myself,” Jungkook backed into the stream and pulled you with him. His head blocked the water from getting in your face too much and, with you looking up at him, you watched the water drench his hair and run down his temples. “You saw?”
“I did.” You closed your eyes and pressed the tip of your nose against his.
“That’s crazy. It honestly felt like you were watching me then.”
You smiled, letting your lips just barely skim over his. “I was.”
For a little, you let the water stream around the two of you, breathing in his scent as he breathed in yours. You massaged your fingers into his back muscles and kneaded the tissue to relieve him of the built up tension from what you presumed to be years of stress and unease. He sighed and let his forehead rest against yours.
Your naked breasts pressed upon his chest lightly, nipples rubbing against his skin, and he seemed to take the contact as an invitation to raise a hand to cup underneath it. Your ‘J’ necklace moved slightly to the side with the action.
“I love your titties. Such perfect titties.” Jungkook backed away slightly to usher you around, placing your back against his chest with his hands returning to bosom. He placed his chin on your shoulder to watch the breast in his hand move with his ministrations and you let him play with it as much as he pleased since you loved his attention.
It wasn’t long before he was leaning down to place a tongued kiss onto your skin.
“I love your lips.” You whispered, craning your head back into him as he trailed inward to kittenishly lick your jaw. “And your tongue.”
He deftly worked his hand down your skin to cup against your pussy and place two fingers against the outer lips. You could feel him slightly massaging them around to smear his spunk that managed to leak out.
The water ran down his arm and onto your pussy as he played and you had half the mind to slightly part your legs to give him room to clean himself from inside you.
“Then can I put my lips and tongue here again?”
You answered him much too fast, breathlessly. There was no shame in needing him- badly. “Yes.”
Jungkook was slow with his movements, delicately turning you so that you understood his intentions when you watched him crouching down. Even as he kneeled before you, made you hook a leg over his shoulder, and pressed you to the wall with a tight grip on your thigh, his presence exhumed that of a god with his dark hair dripping and his black tattoos contrasting starkly to the white of the shower.
His tongue was slow in rubbing against you, a subtle and soft contact, and it drove your hands into his hair so that you could push it out of his face while he tended to your clit like an animal tending to a wound. It was gentle and it was loving. You sighed softly.
Reveling in the deliberate pleasure of his mouth, you closed your eyes and let your head fall back against the wall while your other leg trembled under the weight of balancing on one foot. Still, you kept yourself up to receive his passion.
A certain insistent flick of his tongue right into the center of your clit had you unexpectedly jolting forward and your body curling in on itself. When you looked at him with wide eyes, Jungkook’s gaze was lidded and lazy.
Your body was already sensitive from his previous battering into you, but with his tongue on and in you again, you were hurtling towards your orgasm so fast that you could barely comprehend his other hand kneading the tense flesh of your ass.
“Fu-uck.” You ground out. He closed his eyes at the sound.
Jungkook didn’t use his fingers, knowing that your insides were much too used and tender to receive any more of his attention for the time being, yet he seemed to mobilize his tongue ardently in order to continue your reception of bliss. It was his graciousness that brought you to another climax.
Your body was still jolting as he stood and encased you against the wall, pressing his thigh between yours so that you could ride out the rest of your orgasm with the contact of his skin, and he wrapped his arms around your waist to lift you into his arms when you finally came down. In the heat of the shower, you wrapped your legs around his waist and tightened them like a vice so that your bodies could come together again.
He dragged his dick along your folds, rutting so that your outer lips parted to hug him in his movements, and he came again with a low curse and a few jets of his cum shot straight onto your clit and stomach. Your legs trembled with the stimulation against your bundle of nerves.
“I could never get enough of you.” He whispered, kissing your lips and then trailing his kisses to your jaw. He kept his hips moving so that he could use his cum to ease the slide of his cock against your folds. “It would be impossible to have enough.”
“Jungkook,” You whispered. “All of me is yours.”
Even as he softened and dropped you to the floor, he kept his face pressed into your neck.
“Where do we go from here?” He asked lowly. You could practically feel his concern. “You aren’t registered as a citizen; you don’t have anything to your name; you literally appeared out of a drawing.”
You smiled and raised your hands to the back of his head again, a habit that you found comforted the both of you, and then threaded your fingers into his hair.
“We’ll figure it out, baby.” You sighed. “What I do know is that I have you and that’s all I need.”
“You need me?” He asked, lifting his head to look at you with surprise and admiration.
“More than anything.” You breathed, smiling softly.
He mirrored your smile with a beautiful one of his own. “I think I can work with that.”
You reached around him, grabbing his bottle of Head & Shoulders, and squirted some onto your hand. Obediently, he leaned his head forward for you to rub it in as he had done yet never done hundreds of times before.
Because, despite the lack of you actually being together in his reality, the two of you shared a love that was real and warm and true ever since he began drawing you with the simple tool of a graphite pencil.
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~Dedicated to all of those sweet anons who constantly fill my heart with love and joy. Thank you all for being such kind humans <3~
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sugasbabiie · 2 months ago
Slip’N Slide || JJK
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Summary: All you wanted was to relax and enjoy your out of town summer vacation with family and friends. Add Jeon Jungkook to the equation, and your trip becomes a nightmare. It's been three weeks since your break up and you've done a great job avoiding him this whole trip. But when your ex makes you an offer you cannot deny, you realize that maybe it's been hell living without him.
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↪ Pairing: Ex-Boyfriend!Jeon Jungkook x Female Reader
↪ Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Exes to Lovers, VacationAU, PWP/oneshot
↪ Rating: R
↪ Word Count: 3.3k
↪ Warnings: unprotected sex, face riding, orgasm denial, bdsm themes, oral sex(f. receiving), spanking, light choking & breath play, biting/scratching/marking, rough/angry sex, exhibitionism/outdoor sex, creampie, clothed sex, dirty talk, tiny bit of degradation to be safe, they almost get caught, soft Dom!JK/Sub!reader, water sex?, make up sex, the floaty scene is totally possible, trust me, overstimulation, both of them are clowns, JK is whipped and proud, I think that’s about it.
↪ A/N: I’ve had a rough week, and this fic took me entirely too long to write. Anyway, thanks @jamaisjoons​ for helping me come up with this title. I had a lot of fun with it lol. Another special thanks to @eatjeanjin​ for beta’ing this and improving my trash lol. She also helped with the summary. I hope you all enjoy this little pwp that I have no excuse for. 
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“You’ve got to be fucking with me.”
 All you wanted was a morning swim on your last day at the beach house that you and your friends rented. Is that too much to ask for?
 You have managed to avoid your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook, this entire trip. Now, on the last day, he just so happens to be lying by the pool when you decide to come out for a dip. Why must you have the worst of luck?
 You and Jungkook had an argument about three weeks ago; he pissed you off so much that you left your shared apartment and went to stay with your sister. He called, repeatedly, for about a week and a half, but that’s it. It’s as if he doesn’t even care that you are upset, and that—makes you even angrier with him. Does he not care about your relationship anymore?
 Since the argument, the two of you haven’t spoken or have been alone with each other…until now.
 There are really only two options for you to choose from at this moment: you could go back inside and wait for everyone else to wake up  around noon, or you could just go to the beach. But to do that, you’d have to bypass Jungkook—who is resting comfortably on a lounger in nothing but some shorts, a pair of shades, and an opened button-down. His well-defined abs are on display for the world to see, and the way his honey skin is glistening due to the beaming sun, all you want to do is go over there and–
 “Yeah, I need to get out of here.” You whisper to yourself.
 You decide to take your chances and sneak past your ex, who also appears to be asleep. You couldn’t think of any reason for his cocky ass to just lie there while you’re staring at him. He’d definitely say something if he catches you.
 Quietly, you make your way across the pool area, tiptoeing as you approach the row of chairs where Jungkook is relaxing. The other chairs are too close together for you to slip by, and if you move them, they’ll make a bunch of noise. Unfortunately for you, there is only one way out.
 Using the small amount of adrenaline coursing through your body, you attempt to make quick steps towards the gates that lead to the sandy beach. You’re only a few feet away. This should be easy, right?
 “Hey.” Jungkook grabs your wrist just as you’re passing by. Fuck, he wasn’t asleep. Your head turns to his direction, face twisted in a scowl that he ignores. “Come sit on my face.”
 You roll your eyes.
 “Jungkook, why in the hell would I do that?” You ask, shaking your head in disbelief. He can’t be serious right now. He hasn’t spoken to you in weeks and now he wants to eat you out.
 “Because I’m bored…” he whines childishly, a tiny pout on his lips. “And because you look good…”
 Jungkook brings your hand to his nose and nuzzles against your skin. “And you smell good.” He sneaks an open-mouthed kiss on the back of your hand. “And of course, you taste good too…fucking delicious.”
 Your ex-boyfriend continues to leave a trail of kisses up to your forearm. For a moment, you forget about everything that’s happened and surrender to the feeling of having his lips on you again. But then his teeth graze your flesh, and it snaps you out of your trance.
 “Can you stop?” You groan, pretending like you weren’t enjoying it.
 He scoffs, taking off his glasses and tossing them on the chair beside him. “You don’t want me to stop, and I’m barely touching you. You could walk away right now if you want. But we both know that you aren’t going anywhere, so be a good girl and sit on my face like I told you to.”
 “Fuck Y/N, I’m not asking you to stop being mad at me. All I said was come and let me eat you out. You’re going to let a little petty disagreement stop you from getting off? After I’m done, you can take your pretty little ass to wherever the hell you were going to and not say another word to me.”
 Your mouth opens to argue, but the words get caught in your throat when his tongue darts out to lick his lip. Suddenly, you’re getting all hot and bothered by the presence of the man in front of you instead of being annoyed. Fuck, why is he like this?
 “Fine, but that’s all we’re doing.” You huff, hiking up your tiny sarong so it doesn’t rip. You climb on the lounger, straddling over Jungkook with your knees planted on each side of his head, your pussy hovering over his face. 
 “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You just worry about keeping still while I’m eating you out because you are a squirmer, babe.” He mumbles before kissing your inner thigh.
 Jungkook’s lips leave a trail of wet hot kisses up to the hem of your bikini, making your breath hitch. He then takes the fabric between his teeth and pulls it aside, using his pinky finger to keep it in place while he focuses on your center. “Beautiful.” He whispers, his breath fanning against your sensitive clit.
 “Jungkook!” you gasp, and he simply shushes you.
 “Patience, baby.” He warns, spreading your folds to ogle at how soaked you are for him. “Wet already? I haven’t even touched you yet.”
 A wave of embarrassment washes over you, and you can feel the heat creeping up your neck and face. Jungkook’s favorite thing to do is tease you, so he’s probably having a blast watching you in this state. “Let’s see if she misses me just as much as you do.”
 “I don’t…AHH!” Jungkook flattens his tongue and drags it slowly between your folds,  moaning when your juices hit his taste buds.
 Your hand immediately covers your own mouth in an attempt to hide the cry that you allowed to slip past your lips. He swirls it around your clit a few times before taking the bud into his mouth, sucking gently until you can’t control yourself anymore.
 You haven’t had an orgasm in weeks; you’ve been too busy with work and preparing for this trip. When you get in bed at night, you pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow. It doesn’t take much to get you going, and Jungkook knows exactly what to do to get you where you need to be.
 He switches from sucking to licking swiftly at the bundle of nerves, not stopping for a second to give himself a break. Your hips instinctively make small circles around the wet muscle, matching his pace while your fingers pinch and roll your nipples over your swim top.
 Jungkook pulls a string of your bottoms to grant him a little more access to your heat. He’s now able to hook both his arms under you and bring you closer to his face, his iron grip locking you in place so he can deliver his final ministrations.
 He sucks on your clit again, harder than the last time, and the sensation is electrifying.
 “Jungkook…” you moan, your fingers slowly combing through his purple locks. Your ex-boyfriend hums around your bud, satisfied that you’re finally touching him and giving in to the pleasure he’s giving you.
 The vibrations combined with the tiny nibbles to the sensitive area have your orgasm creeping up with no warning. You grip his hair, and your nails graze his scalp as you struggle to gain control, but Jungkook isn’t having any of that. His strong arms still your movements and force you to accept every single thing he gives you until you’re falling apart above him.
 “Shit, I’m coming!” you hiss, trying to pry away from him, but he doesn’t let go. “Baby…” you whine due to the sensitivity.
 He releases your clit with a wet pop after you’ve slapped his arm a million times. You sigh and slump over on all four, allowing Jungkook to slide from underneath you, and he does. Once you’ve steadied your breathing, you become aware of what has happened and how much more you actually want.
 Though you’re pissed with him, you miss your boyfriend and how good he makes you feel. But are you willing to put your pride aside and give in entirely? Maybe he will pity you and not make you beg for it.
 “Something wrong?” He asks with amusement in his voice.
 You can feel him staring at you, and all you want to do is hate him enough to walk away, but you can’t. You somehow find the courage to stand and face him, but that proves to be a big mistake. He looks so fucking handsome standing there with that stupid smirk spread across his face.
 “You know what, never mind. I won’t be a dick.” He says, stepping closer and snaking an arm around your waist. He leans in and kisses your cheek, then makes his way to your ear, the small action making your head spin. “But if you want my cock again, you’ll have to prove it because you walked out on me, remember?”
 His mouth travels down your neck, then back up again, pulling you further into his grasp. You grip his large biceps, trying to keep your balance as Jungkook sweeps you away with nothing but his lips and words. “Is that what you want to do? Hm?”
 He comes up to meet your eyes, and you can only nod. You can only think about one thing right now and that is to have Jungkook inside of you again. When his eyebrow perks up, revealing this silver piercing that you love probably a little more than you should, you know he wants a verbal response.
 “Yeah, Jungkook. I miss you.” You confess trying to pull him in for a kiss, but he denies you.
 “Come prove it.” He taunts, guiding you towards the pool.
 Jungkook leads you to where the stairs of the pool begin and shrugs off his shirt. His tattooed muscular body comes into view, making him hotter than the late morning heat. You watch as he climbs on one of the extra-large pink flamingo floats effortlessly, looking at you expectantly when he’s situated and laying on his back.
 You scoff. “No fucking way.”
 “You want some dick, no?” he counters, resting his head on the hump of its tail. “Better get your ass over here before I change my mind.”
 Jungkook rolls his eyes, trying to act annoyed, but you can see the smile threatening to reveal itself.
 “Come to the third step and slide under the railing. It won’t move if you climb onto the middle. Just take your time. No one can see us over here.”
 You have no idea why you let Jungkook talk you into all types of crazy shit. But here you are, praying you don’t humiliate yourself while trying to climb on this pool float so you can ride your boyfriend’s cock. Jungkook does a good job keeping it steady as you carefully maneuver towards the center.
 Once you’ve straddled Jungkook’s lap, you finish removing your bottoms, only leaving you in your sarong in case you have to ‘play it cool.’
 “Good girl,” he praises. He hastily lowers the waistband of his shorts, freeing his stiff length and slaps you ass with it. You wiggle your hips playfully to give him a sneak peek of what's to come. “Someone’s eager. Why don’t you take a seat on it, hm?”
 He doesn’t have to ask you twice. You grip his thighs and lift your butt so he can align the tip with your entrance, sinking down on it as soon as the head has pushed through your opening. “Easy baby, just take your time.”
 You follow his instructions, slowly situating yourself on his length and sighing when you finally have his dick inside of you. It takes you a few seconds to get comfortable and adjust, but once you do, you immediately spring into action.
 Your excitement soon turns into fear when the float almost topples over, and your mistake earns you a smack to the ass. “Jungkook, we’re going to fall!” you hiss.
 He slaps your ass again for your outburst, and the sting makes you moan in response. “Oh, you like that, huh? You just got so tight. You better not fall because if you do, I’ll bend you over and fuck you until you’re drooling all over yourself, then pull out right before you come. Don’t try me today, Y/N. You’ve fucked up, now ride my dick and make me feel better.”
 Your mouth falls open, and you thank the heavens nothing came out because you know he’s serious. He’s done it before and left you hot and bothered for days. You don’t want that, so you swallow your pride and attempt to find the best position.
 If you use his legs to steady yourself and keep yourself upright, the float doesn’t rock as much. When you’re confident with your posture, you get back to work, and you know the man beneath you is enjoying the view. He pushes your outerwear up and taps your ass just to watch it jiggle.
 “Your cunt is so greedy today, baby.” Jungkook compliments, scooping water from the pool and splashing it all over you and making it harder for you to fold your position. You’re struggling to stay in control, but you don’t complain, especially when you hear Jungkook’s little whines and moans coming from behind you. You both are close. “Arch your back a little bit more for me, sweetheart. I wanna see how well this pretty pussy takes my cock.”
 Jungkook’s voice is so shaky. He’s barely able to get his words out. Your thighs burn from the strain of balancing yourself on the float, but you keep going until---
 “Yeah, Y/N must have gone to the beach because I can’t find her anywhere.”
 Your sister’s voice coming from the balcony makes you freeze, but Jungkook is quick to take action. “Take a deep breath.”
 He wraps an arm around your waist and smoothly rolls off the inflatable flamingo, completely submerging you both in water with his dick still buried deep inside of you. Thankfully, you inhaled in time because your boyfriend is coming up with another one of his plans.
 Jungkook moves under the raft and drags you to the stairs, sitting you on his lap and bringing your heads to the surface. You both take a few seconds to catch your breath as he’s scanning the balcony for your sister. “She’s gone back inside, but we need to hurry this up.” He says, standing you up and instructing you to sit in his previous spot on the stairs.
 “Maybe we should just go inside, Jungkook.” You suggest.
 “Woman, my dick would be blowing a big fat load all over your sexy little body right now if I weren’t holding it. Do you really think my brain could handle seeing you walk out of this pool dripping wet in a mesh sarong? Not a chance. Hold on to the railing. I need to come.” He states, making your mouth fall open for the umpteenth time this morning.
 He lifts your lower body out of the water, spreads your thighs apart, then slides right in, resuming the same pace you set before you were interrupted. You hold on to the metal bar for your dear life, but when Jungkook leans down and starts leaving marks on your neck, you abandon it and hold onto him like a koala.
 “You feel so good, baby. So wet and tight for me, like always.” He praises, making your body shudder. He has to hold you close, so you don’t bounce out of the pool due to his powerful thrusts. “I cannot believe you took this pussy away from me. What were you thinking, Y/N?” he mumbles against your neck while his hand squeezes your throat.
 “I’m sorry…FUCK!” you sob, clawing at his back when he goes deeper. “I wasn’t thinking. I just left.”
 Jungkook releases the pressure but keeps his hand positioned in the same area. “I’m sorry too, baby. I was a dick, and you were right to be upset. But don’t leave like that again; I was so worried.” He grunts, his movements faltering as his orgasm approaches.
 Your eyes roll back as he uses his last ounce of strength to reach between you and find your clit, flicking the bud until you’re crying out his name. Jungkook presses his lips against yours to muffle your sounds while he continues to help you through your orgasm. He gives you all he has before he has to succumb to his own pleasure and fill you up with his hot seed.
 You moan into his mouth, happy to finally reunite with the warm sticky feeling between your thighs. Jungkook smiles against your lips, swiftly moving you up to the edge of the pool before anything drips into the pool.
 He slips out of you and stuffs his softened length back in his shorts before reaching for the pink float and grabbing your bottoms. He helps you get them on again, tying the sides for you while you comb through his wet hair.
 “Do you even remember why you were mad at me?” he asks softly.
 Well, damn. Straight to the point.
 “Not really.” You shake your head, earning a chuckle from Jungkook. “I remember you telling me to fuck off, though.”
 It’s Jungkook’s turn to shake his head at you now.
 “Y/N, I wasn’t even talking to you. I was on the phone, and Yoongi was calling me ‘pussy whipped,’ which I probably am, and I don’t care but still… I would never say that to you. I was just pretending like I said it to be petty.” He admits and continues his explanation“…just didn’t expect you to walk out on me. I love you so much, and I have definitely learned my lesson.” 
 “I love you too, Jungkook.  And it wasn’t right to just leave without a word either; that was a bitch move.” You murmur, standing up to go take a shower.
 Jungkook follows, grabbing your hand to get your attention before you go any further. “So, does this mean that you forgive me?”
 You smile, allowing him to snake an arm around you, pulling you close.
 “Yeah, of course. Do you?” you inquire.
 “Yes! Now can you please pack your shit so I can bring your pretty ass home!? I miss you! I just want to cuddle and watch movies and–”
 “Get some action every morning before work again because it’s the only thing that can get you through the day?” You interrupt.
 That adorable bunny smile makes an appearance as if he’s the most innocent being on this planet, and you smack his bare chest playfully.
 “Oww…” he whines dramatically, and you roll your eyes, making him pout. “I just really want you home again. It isn’t the same without you there.”
 “Oh, I know it isn’t,” you agree, a smirk forming on your lips. “I wasn’t the one begging for the other to sit on their face.” You remind him as you’re walking away.
 Jungkook stands there in awe, watching your ass as you head towards the house. You don’t even look back when you call out to him before you slip inside  through the glass door.
 “You better be in that shower by the time I’m done bathing, Jungkook! Or I’ll make sure everyone hears how whipped you really are!”
 You hear him yelling ‘yes, ma’am’ just as the door closes, and you nod approvingly.
 “Let’s see how much mouth he has when he’s doing all the work.” 
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jkeuphoriadreamland · 14 days ago
Irresistible⤞ pt. 2
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⤞ Pairing: Hybrid Maknae line x reader ⤞ Genre: Hybrid!au, Smut, 18+ M, 3.4k words ⤞ Summary: You weren’t supposed to be theirs, and they weren’t supposed to find you so irresistible. ⤞ Warnings: 18+M, possessiveness, sexual tension, allusions to sex slavery/abuse, mentions of heat, mentions of blood, mentions of human adoptions/ownership, mentions of abuse, masturbation, mentions of running away, future smut ⤞ A/N: Thank you once again to my wifey @outromoni​ for her ridiculous talent. All credit goes to her for the banner.
pt. 1 - pt.2 
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As soon as the door was locked, and his breathing calmed, Jungkook turned back toward you. You sat on the bed, towel partially covering you, yet you looked like you weren’t fazed by that fact. It was like being naked was something you were used to, and Jungkook recalled the many times he had accidentally stared a little too long at you while you were in the enclosure-- when your legs were open slightly, and your breasts clearly visible underneath the paper thin material they made you wear. He knew they did it so that those interested in adopting you could see you were healthy and untainted, but for him… it did something else entirely.
“Are you okay?” He only managed to whisper this, too afraid that if he spoke any louder his voice would crack. Even away from his brothers, being locked in this room wasn’t making things better. As he stepped closer, he felt the heat of his body increase, the proximity between you filling his nose with your scent to a point where he was losing his mind. Was Taehyung correct? Was he truly in heat? That would be the only rational explanation for everything he had done. He wasn’t usually so irresponsible, but it was like he couldn’t control his impulse this time.
He waited for your reply, but you remained silent. “I’m sorry I got upset. I won’t hurt you. You know this, right? Remember? I was the one that saved you?”
Jungkook wasn’t sure why he was even talking to you. It’s not like you would respond. Even though he managed to communicate his plan to help you escape, you had only ever reacted by doing, not speaking. And in the car, while Jungkook drove like a paranoid criminal constantly looking in his rearview mirror, you never even made a sound. He was still amazed that you even left with him. You were very skittish the entire time, and Jungkook tried his best to come off non-threatening. His only guess was that you wanted to get out so badly you were willing to go along with it.
It had all been done hastily and barely thought out. Taking keys from one of the guards while they were distracted was probably his best trick ever. They didn’t seem very smart to begin with. And hiding in the bathroom until the center doors were closed to the public was not the best idea, yet he stood there waiting anyway, already set on his mission. There was probably some silent alarm that got set off the minute they opened the doors, but the speed with which they got into his car and out of the area was pretty incredible. And now here you were, in his bed…
Not wanting to push you, Jungkook simply turned to his dresser and pulled out one of his larger t-shirts, placing it on the bed near you. He didn’t trust himself to get any closer.
“Put this on. I’m sure you’re hungry. I’ll go get you some food. And whatever you do, please don’t leave this room.”
It was clear to Jungkook that you were afraid of him. You were probably afraid of all of them. Leaving the room, Jungkook locked the door from the outside and slid his key deep in his pocket. He didn’t know whether you would try to escape, but he couldn’t take the chance. It was his fault you were out of the safety of your previous shelter. He would need to take responsibility for you, but right now he had to face his hyungs.
When he arrived at the kitchen, Jimin and Taehyung were already sitting eating, their serious faces causing Jungkook to swallow hard. Now that you were far away from him, his original nervous nature returned and he felt small and anxious.
“I—I did— what I mean to say is…”
“Sit down, Kookie.” Tae’s voice wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t soft either. Jungkook was in trouble. Without another word, he did as he was told. With his head bowed and hands in his lap, he waited for the lecture he knew he would get— but it never came. Jimin got up and served the antsy hybrid a plate, setting it in front of him with a smile, but the room’s silence made Jungkook fidget uncontrollably. He began to eat, but his leg continued to shake until Jimin placed a hand on it.
“You’re going to drill a whole in our floor if you continue with this nervous tick, Koo.”
Just the sound of Jimin’s voice brought a river of tears to Jungkook’s eyes and he quickly turned to hug Jimin, his body shaking from the cries that wracked his body. It was the first time he’d ever hurt his hyung and he was beside himself about it. The smell of blood was still in the air and all he could do was spill his tears onto Jimin’s shoulder.
“I’mmmm so SORRY, Minnie! I didn’t m-mmmean to hurt you. I would nnnever hurt you!”
Jimin’s eyes began to water and he looked at Tae who was sitting staring at the both of them with eyebrows furrowed and arms crossed. Jimin chuckled lightly and then began rubbing Jungkook’s back.
“I know you didn’t mean it, bun, but something is going on. You’d better learn how to control yourself or Tae here will pounce on you like the ferocious little lion he is.”
“I’m not little.”
“Whatever you say, Tae Tae.”
After about ten minutes Jungkook started to calm and Tae’s exterior began to soften. It was certainly new to see their young and cute bunny hybrid acting like a mean monster, but they knew all too well the effects of having a heat. When Jungkook gathered himself, Tae began speaking. They talked for a little while and managed to remind Jungkook about what he needed to do and what to expect. The older brothers didn’t really know why this particular human had set him off, but they also didn’t want to manifest their suspicions.
“Well, now that everything is settled, why don’t you go get ____ and we can get her some fo--”
“No! I thank you. I’ll bring her food. I think she is a little nervous still and needs some time. I’ll take care of everything, hyungs. I swear. This is my fault. I promise to sort everything out. You won’t even notice she’s here. I’ll figure out a way to get her to a safe place. She won’t be here for long. I promise.”
“Of course you will, bun.”
Jimin winked and Jungkook’s mood lightened. He immediately got up and began preparing everything you would need to eat with. The guys sat back watching, amused yet intrigued. Jungkook had always been independent, but it was cute to see him caring for someone else. As soon as he left the room, Tae released a heavy sigh.
“I don’t know, Jimin. It’s obvious this human has him wrapped around her finger and it’s only been one day. I don’t want to admit anything, but…”
“You think she’s his mate?”
“What? I’m just saying what you won’t. Also, I don’t know if you can feel it but… when I fell on top of her I…”
Taehyung whipped his head so fast it made his eyes lose focus for a second. “What?”
“Well, I don’t know. It’s like she has this pull. If Jungkook hadn’t walked in…”
Now that the words hung heavy in the air, Taehyung felt his pants get a little tighter. “That’s ridiculous, Jimin. She’s a human and it’s unnatural. We can’t all feel a desire for her. It’s not right. It’s just…”
“We? Did you just say we?”
Taehyung bit his lip and then turned away. He wasn’t going to admit anything and he certainly wasn’t going to confer with Jimin’s speculation. “Stop this! I’m going to bed.”
With that, the conversation came to an end, but Jimin most certainly was not going to let it slide. He watched as his friend stomped off, a tiny huff escaping the tiger, sealing his suspicions and confirming his own feelings. “What a mess you’ve gotten us into, Bun.”
Jungkook returned to the room, food, snacks and utensils in hand. You weren’t sure how he managed to even unlock the door to get in, but the determined look on his face was adorable.
“Here you go.”
Jungkook set everything on his dresser, once again making sure not to get too close, but his attempts were in vain. As soon as he entered the room his senses went haywire. Tae must’ve been crazy to suggest keeping you in his own room, but what was Jungkook to do now? If he let you out, he’d be upset knowing you were around the others, but if he kept you in, he’d go mad. This really was such a lose-lose situation.
“Thank you.”
At first Jungkook thought he hallucinated your words, but when he saw you stand to reach for the items and smile, he was sure he hadn’t. “You’re welcome.”
He watched you grab the plate and begin shoving the food in your mouth as if this was the first time you’ve ever had a proper meal. He enjoyed the moaning sounds you made in response to the flavors hitting your tastes buds, and the mess you were making all over your face had him smiling. There was this duality about you, and Jungkook was absolutely smitten. When you finished the food, you began licking the plate desperately, the lewd sounds escaping you causing Jungkook to cross his legs unconsciously.
“Okay, I think we’re done here. Let me have the plate, ___.”
You hesitantly release it and Jungkook barely holds back a chuckle. “I don’t know if you know this but… you can’t eat the plate. It’s made out of glass and--”
“I know what it’s made out of.”
Your sharp retort silences Jungkook. Now that you had spoken a complete sentence, his curiosity took hold and he had to hear more.
“Yes. How silly of me. Did you like the food?”
“I did. Why am I here?”
Finally, after this entire time, you spoke. Instead of it making Jungkook happy, he felt judged. Didn’t you already know his intentions?
“Because, I saw you in the center… I watched you for a long time and…”
“...And now you want to fuck me, right? You stole me because you couldn’t control your “hybrid instincts” and now you get to own your own personal sex slave.”
“Wha-... no! That’s not it at all. I wanted to help you because I saw how unhappy you were. No one should be locked up… human or otherwise.”
“Oh. Well, I wasn’t the only one. There are tons of humans.”
“I know there are, but I can’t rescue all of them. Why would you think that’s what I want to do with you? Can’t you see I’m just trying to help you?”
The tension in the room was unsettling. You weren’t sure if he was telling the truth, but the compassionate way he spoke had you reconsidering. It wasn’t unusual for humans to be stolen and trafficked, but for some reason, this bunny seemed genuine. At a loss for words, you turned away and started building a nest to sleep on the floor.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m making my bed.”
“You don’t have to sleep on the floor anymore. You can take my bed for now. I’ll sleep in my sleeping bag.”
You tilted your head at his offer unsure if he was playing games. You were about to refuse, but he was already up and adjusting the bedsheets for you. He moved about quickly leaving no room for you to speak and then he pulled the sleeping bag out of his closet and began setting it on the floor. Perhaps this was some sort of game, one that would get you in trouble for letting your owner sleep on the floor instead of sacrificing yourself as all humans were trained to do.
Not wanting to chance it, you tried to settle into the sleeping bag instead. Jungkook, who was currently looking for a change of clothes, heard the rustling and immediately rushed towards you.
“What are you doing? I already told you you’re sleeping on the bed.”
“I know what you said, master, but I would prefer to sleep here.”
“Ma-- what did you just call me? I am no one’s master! Are you even listening to me?”
He continued talking, but you pretended not to hear, already tucked in and zipped up before he could finish. You knew you’d upset him and you prayed he wouldn’t drag you out of the bag by your hair. You did deserve to be punished after all. But when the lights turned off, and the soft sounds of him settling on his bed filled your ears, you released a tiny sigh of relief and closed your eyes. Even though you were on the floor, the comfort of the cloth cocoon lulled you to sleep in minutes.
The morning came all too quickly, the sounds of whispered voices outside of the room waking you. Rising, you cleaned up the sleeping bag and headed to the door. Opening it, you found Taehyung and Jungkook. They looked a little stressed as if they’d been having an argument, but when they saw your face, they quickly adjusted their expressions.
“Good morning, ____. Jimin made us breakfast. Why don’t you go find him? Jungkook and I will be there shortly.”
You nodded and walked off, curious about their conversation. You didn’t bother to look back since you were probably already in trouble for the previous night’s behavior.
As soon as you were out of their line of sight, the conversation continued. "Hyung, she wanted to sleep on the floor. It was the craziest thing I’ve seen. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I can’t just abandon her. She is obviously used to being abused and that’s just not something I can live with. You do understand, don’t you, hyung?”
Jungkook’s pupils turned into saucers and his cute ears twitched as he waited for a reply. Taehyung was used to this manipulation, and he was usually stronger, but for some reason he wasn’t this morning. The thick hair on his neck stood on end and his tiger ears swiveled away from the younger hybrid’s griping.
“Look. We’ll wait and see for now, but don’t get too used to her. She will be leaving.”
“Yes, hyung.”
With a final stern look and pointed finger in Jungkook’s direction, Tae turned towards the kitchen with the bunny not far behind. When they arrived they saw Jimin hovering over you, smiling and filling your plate with all the delicious food he made.
“Thank you so much, Jimin. This looks so delicious.”
Jungkook clenched his fists. Your praises for his hyung didn’t sit well. After all he had done for you, the most you spoke to him were words of spite, yet here you were loving Jimin. He all but pushed his hyungs out of the way so he could sit right next to you, feeling a little triumphant when they backed off.
Tae and Jimin gave each other a look and stifled their own comments as they settled down to eat.
The morning went by quickly, the older brothers heading off to work leaving Jungkook to complete his online studies. He found it was easier to learn this way since he was constantly distracted by his surroundings. His current problem, however, was the huge distraction in his bedroom. Curious about what you might be up to, he stepped away from his laptop and knocked on his door several times waiting for you to answer him, but nothing came.
Jungkook opened the door after several minutes, and when he stepped in, he found your head hovering just above the window as you were already making your escape using the sheets from his bed.
“____!” Jungkook ran to the window and caught your arm before you could lower yourself further. Where the hell did you even think you were going when they lived in a city building seven floors up? He pulled you hard, his hybrid strength greater than yours, and you yelped when you crashed against his chest.
“Are you trying to get yourself killed? It’s dangerous out there! I can’t believe you would do something like this…”
His brute strength made you recall events of your past you never wanted to experience again, so you reacted in the only way you knew how.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re what?”
“I said, I’m sorry.”
You leaned in and brushed your lips against his with a sigh as your apology slipped past your lips. “I’m so so soooo sorry. Please forgive me.” Pressing in tight, you rubbed your chest against his own, breathing him in and using all the sexual energy you had in order to calm his anger. You remembered what it was like to get beaten for disobedience, and using your body to calm a hybrid was almost always successful.
Noticing your boldness was working, you leaned in completely and kissed him. The soft moan he let out made it clear he wanted you, so you attempted a little more. When you tried to slip in your tongue, Jungkook pulled back and gasped.
“Wha-- what are you...why are you kissing me?”
“Because you want me to.”
“I...what?” Jungkook felt ashamed, quickly pulling away and standing. What kind of life had you led to think that seducing someone was even an option? “I don’t want you to do any of that. I simply wanted to help you. Why are you making this so hard?”
Shutting the window, Jungkook walked out of the room defeated. If you wanted to leave, who was he to stop you? He was no better than the countless hybrids that bought and sold humans like cattle, using them for god knows what. No, he wouldn’t do that, no matter what he was feeling physically. And feeling he was. His body was ten times hotter than it had been before he entered the room and his erection was starting to get painful. Since you arrived there was nothing to settle it. He tried to ignore it for as long as he could, but it was almost impossible. And now that you kissed him the air felt heavy and breathing was difficult. His balls ached and he felt like he could pass out at any moment.
Needing some relief, he ran to the bathroom and tugged his pants to his thighs. If the door was locked, he didn’t care. It was wrong, he knew it was wrong, but all he could think of was releasing the pent up frustration that’s been plaguing him for days. Grabbing a hold of himself, he whimpered quietly and began to stroke himself. He turned on the faucet as high as it would go in order to conceal the noises he was making and continued jerking his hard length. He struggled to find relief, the thought of you being so close yet unattainable making his pain even worse.
His body was drenched, the film of sweat so dense it began rolling off his skin like tiny drops of rain. “Fuck.” he complained, his tip swollen and senstive beyond belief. And then, when he thought he would die, your tiny voice called him through the bathroom door and he came immediately at the sound.
“Jungkook? Are you okay? I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Was he okay? That was a joke. At the moment he was cumming the hardest he ever had, and it took everything within him not to cry out your name. His seed spilled over into the sink and his legs trembled, but he rode the high, pulling at his cock until the last bit of his soul left him. He heard you knock again forcing him to clear his throat and attempt a response. “Yah..I..mmkay..”
After that he heard nothing, and now relieved, he collapsed over the counter heaving and exhausted. He knew this was the last thing he should’ve done after you almost escaped, but he hadn’t expected you to assault him with the weight of your body. Finally calm, he cleaned the area, throwing some water over his face as well. “I don’t know what I’m going to do… I can’t let her go…”
His hyung had made it very clear that you couldn’t stay, but there was no way in hell Jungkook would let anyone else have you. He needed a plan.  
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593 notes · View notes
opaljm · a month ago
new fic announcement!
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➺ pairing: genie!jungkook x female reader
➺ genres/tropes: fluff ; angst ; smut ; fantasy au ; magic au ; strangers to lovers
➺ warning/content tags: explicit sexual content
➺ word count: 23k for part one before edits
➺ summary: Jungkook has been stuck in a lamp for the last 2000 years before he is woken from his slumber by a beautiful woman who somehow activates his lamp while making a wish that ends up letting him out. After eons of having to bend over backwards to make the desires of evil individuals from power hungry dictators to spoiled princesses come into fruition, he’s updated his contract to be more choosy over who the lamp allows to be his master. It comes to his great surprise that this woman was able to make the lamp work and that she only yearns to be loved and no longer be lonely. But all of the wishes he grants now have time constraints, another caveat he added to the contract, and he wonders what life would be like if he had never made that stupid rule. Because, as the week progresses, he finds himself falling deeper and deeper into her spell, pondering what it would be like if he never had to stop playing the role of her man.
➺ release date: part one dropping on SEPTEMBER 30, 2021 @ 6:00 PST (potentially earlier based on how fast i can edit)
(banner by @kimtaehyunq​)
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bangtangalicious · 3 months ago
touch me wherever | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x reader
summary: jungkook needs to touch you and he just can’t hold back anymore
genre: pwp smut oneshot | loss-of-innocence!au, innocent!jungkook x innocent!reader, childhoodfriends!au 
wordcount: 2.8k
warnings: explicit smut, dry humping, unhealthy attachment, cumming in his pants, EXTREMELY horny feverishly whiny needy clingy jungkook, nudity, breast play, groping, subtle body worship, inexperience, a lot of begging, some crying, stuttering, coersion/dubcon-ish technically yeah, unrealistic scenario lol, mention of wet dreams, obsessive behavior, praise, assume characters are 18+ but just have no fucking clue what sex is, this is a fucking fever dream idk, cursing, dom!kook, naive clueless reader 
a/n: thank you so much for 1000 notes on fuck me forever! to express my gratitude, this is my gift to you, another needy greedy jungkook smut :) i hope you enjoy <3
Boundaries? That’s something you and Jungkook never needed, practically growing up side by side. Both your families were incredibly close, but equally sheltered. They kept the two of you trapped together in a conservative suburban bubble where the world consisted only of what was right in front of your eyes. No questions asked. 
As a child, Jungkook had always been addicted to the touch of your skin. He craved the soft warmth you had to offer, clinging to you like velcro, throwing frustrated tantrums whenever the two of you got separated. 
His face would get red with rage, fat tears forming in his eyes as his parents dragged him away from your bed once night would fall. He couldn’t sleep without you. Your touch was his safety blanket. He was only able to grow out of it when you leant him your teddy, finding peace in the way it smelled like you. 
Growing up, you had quickly understood that Jungkook was a very affectionate person, suffocating you with hugs and tickles whenever you would hang out. You had become used to him feeling you as he pleased, not ever minding the way his nimble fingers would trace across your legs, sliding under your uniform skirt at times. It tickled—you would laugh.
After Jungkook had hit puberty, his clinginess magnified tenfold. 
You plagued his dreams constantly, and without realizing it he would rut shamelessly against his pillow, crying out for you softly as heaping spurts of cum would fill his underwear.
He’d wake up, breathless with only you, you, you pounding through his head. His mind was dizzy with the feeling of your skin, he just wanted to touch you. He needed you near, to feel you pressed against him so that he could just—
He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand what was happening to his body in the morning when his thighs would be sticky and sheets stained. Sometimes he would day dream about you in school, only to wake up to the sound of your teasing voice, looking into your eyes as he leaked everywhere under the table. 
Jungkook found it horribly embarrassing. 
Until one day his older friend Seokjin told him what he was experiencing. They were called wet dreams, and allegedly they were normal. There was nothing wrong with it, but somehow Jungkook felt exposed. Guilty. Dirty.
He didn’t want it to happen, he couldn’t understand why but he ached for you so bad that it hurt. Kneeling down under a cold shower he would beg himself to get a grip, trying his best to act normal. His restraint paid off. 
Most of the time.
Currently the two of you were cuddled up in his basement, where you used to play pretend as young children. He’d be the doctor and give you checkups, healing your injuries with the delicate graze of his lips. 
It was hopelessly warm, to which you suggested shedding a few layers in order to feel more comfortable on the thick velvet cushions that were almost damp with sweat. Your head nestled in his lap, body in nothing but a bra and a pair of tight shorts that had found their way up your thighs, leaving little to the imagination.
You were talking, he could see your lips move at the edge of his vision but he couldn’t hear you over his steady focus on your cute polkadot bra—so snug and soft that Jungkook wanted to drool. He had noticed that your body had blossomed over time, flesh spilling over the tops of the flimsy fabric. The delicate curves that called out to him. Something rooted deep within him was yearning to get his hands on you.
“Jungkook! Are you okay?” You felt something poking the back of your head, prompting you to squirm in his lap as you attempted to catch his attention.
“Um” Jungkook stammered, unable to find words. He didn’t remember what you were doing there anymore. He barely remembered who he was. All he could understand was that his body was telling him something. Telling him to feel you, more of you, all of you. “S..sorry yeah. I’m good”
“God it is disgusting down here. I’m gonna take this off, one second” He found himself blinking in a daze as you sat up and unclasped your bra, his hips bucking up as it fell with a snap to the floor. Your arms covered your chest to shield you from the sudden exposure, giggling as you turned back towards him.
“Holy shit” Jungkook choked, clenching his fists so tight they were becoming white. “W..what are you doing?” You slid your bottoms off, bending slightly so Jungkook could see your cute cotton panties tucked between your legs.
“It’s so hot, besides it’s just you” Jungkook’s eyes trailed up your legs as you stepped out of the garment, his mouth dry. You took notice of his frazzled state, “Jungkook, are you sure you’re feeling okay?”
His eyes moved down to his own shorts, noticing a bulge in between his legs. He scoot up to you, looking everywhere except your eyes, the painful clench between his thighs almost too overwhelming, his heart felt like it could burst. His desire suffocated him. You were a burning fever, spreading from his head all the way through his chest. 
Jungkook cleared his throat, “What? Yeah uh,” You raised your eyebrows at him, but he avoided your gaze. He gulped, swallowing down the heat rising to his cheeks. “I’m just in a little pain you see this?”
Jungkook warily placed your hand over the tent in his shorts. You nodded, lip tucked between your nibbling teeth as you observed with great interest.
His eyes widened as your hand palmed around his cock, fingers trailing across the outline of the prominent bulge. Jungkook felt his breath get knocked out of him as he stumbled towards you. “Wait don’t!”
“What’s wrong?” You let go of him. “I’m so sorry, did that hurt?” He shook his head, only to realize he was now face to face with your perky breasts.
“Looks so soft” He murmured, blinking at you “C..can I...” He opened his palms wide “Looks so squishy, I wanna squish them”
You beat him to it, and he watched with blasted eyes as you caressed your breast mindlessly, flesh peeking through the cracks of your fingers as you gave a nonchalant shrug. “I mean I guess”
Jungkook grabbed at your tits, gripping them and giving them a harsh squeeze, underestimating the force of his strength. You winced as he continued to juggle the flesh in his hands, before pinching your nipples harshly to which you yelped “Ow”
He paused, a worried look on his face as his hands stilled. “That hurt Jungkook” You pouted.
Jungkook inhaled sharply, refocusing his gaze on your sensitive nubs as he gently padded his thumb over the bruised area. The immediate twitch of your body did not go unnoticed by him, and neither did the way you clenched your jaw, almost as though you were holding your breath. A glow arriving on your cheeks as his careful ministrations persisted.
“Does that feel better? M’sorry” Jungkook instinctively wrapped his tongue around your erect nipple, watching you carefully to see how you would react. He noticed you gasp at his actions, a glint in your eye that seemed to stroke the raging ego within him.
Did you feel it too? Were you aching as bad as he was?
“That feels...weird Kook.” The taught tip of his tongue flicked at your eager nub as his lips sloppily engulfed the tender flesh. He sucked harshly, loving the sweet taste of your skin. You found yourself being pushed onto your back, the hopelessly warm couch acting as a landing pad for the soft thunk of your head.
“It hurts” Jungkook panted, licking his lips as a string of saliva kept him attached to your heaving breast “ my pants. When you touch me there, it stopped hurting so much, you know?”
Jungkook licked his lips. He stared at your hardened nipples that were on display. What would happen if I just—
His body jerked forward, shoving his face into your chest, palms squeezing them against his cheeks. He let out a muffled groan, inhaling sharply to the point where his eyes rolled back, intoxicated by your scent. “Y/n, oh Y/n fuck it hurts so bad mmfh—” He cried into you, shaking his head. The soft ends of his dark hair tickling against your sensitive skin.
You looked down at him in shock, tugging his head back “What are you doing?? Jungkook?”
“Ugh, Y/n, just let me” Jungkook whined, his grip on your breasts tightening “No please. A little longer—it helps...I need this” He exhaled, his hot breath sending goosebumps across your skin.
He slowly released you, noticing his nails had left imprints on the sides of your breasts. He looked at you apologetically, caressing the scars with his fingers. You barely realized the delicate whimper that left your lips, but it had Jungkook’s body going rigid, arousal coursing through his veins like a shot.
“You good. It’s so hard for me to be around you I can’t...breathe” He traced his nose up to your shoulder, making you giggle at the ticklish brush of his skin. He arrived at your neck, inhaling deeply as he hovered over you, heat radiating from his body. His hips flinched, signaling him to find some sort of friction.
“Jungkook maybe we should get you to a doctor”
“No!” He pinned your shoulders back, a frightening growl appearing in his voice “Please only you can make it better I swear” You squirmed “It’s your fault anyway” He barked, “You made this happen to me”
You gaped at him, “What? What did I do?” Part of him wanted to tell you. He wanted you to know how much pain you caused him. Every day he’d wake up to you, fall asleep to you. You distracted him, you were taking over his entire mind. All you had to do was let him touch you and it would all feel better, but you were selfish, as if possessing him with your amazing body on his mind wasn’t enough torture.
It was your fault! You did this to him. How could you deny him of help? If you asked him to do anything for you, you knew he would, without hesitation. Did you not feel it too? Why couldn’t you just understand? Weren’t you were supposed to be his friend?
Reluctantly, Jungkook slid off of your body, creating distance between the two of you where he buried his face in his palms.
You could hear his soft cries, and your heart wrenched. You hated it when he cried, it was the most awful feeling in the world. You would do just about anything to make him feel better. To take away all his pain.
You stood up, approaching him carefully as you placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at you, eyes glossy with tears, like a puppy. His pout was adorable, but the hurt in his eyes had you feeling guilty.
“Don’t cry Kookie...can I give you a hug?” You knew Jungkook loved your hugs. He had cried in your arms before, and you in his. You felt safe in his embrace, it was a comfort you never wanted to lose.
He nodded furiously, and let his hands fall to his side as you straddled his lap, holding him close to you, chest pressed against his as you stroked his back. Jungkook’s long fingers gripped your hips. He groaned as you adjusted your weight, sitting right where he needed you most. Even you couldn’t help the hot feeling that seized your body.
“You’re just so pretty Y/n...I can’t stop thinking about you” Jungkook’s hand slid up your back, holding you close to him. His face in your neck where you could feel him sniffling. “I need you so bad” He whimpered. “I just wanna be close to you, you know? Don’t you like being close to me?”
You were about to respond, before he harshly thrust up. His forearms kept you locked down tight on him as he pistoned his hips ruthlessly. You tried to move, tried to think but you couldn’t.
“Oh god oh god oh god” Jungkook yelped, his voice loud in your ears “It hurts so bad Y/n please oh gggod, I need you” His hands moved to the sides of you waist, holding you firm as he began to bounce you up and down, drawing his hips up to meet you as he grinded you down on him, the friction unbearably harsh, burning through