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I think it’s just about time to quit the meth. Things are starting to change and it’s time for me to stop fucking around and serious up about my life and my future.

I may have found my soulmate. It’s still very, VERY early so it’s hard to say. As of right now he doesn’t know about it, I don’t know if I should be honest about it or if I should just sweep it under the carpet and pretend it didn’t happen once I’m clean. I wouldn’t like lying to him, but I’m scared he’ll leave me if he finds out.

(I also want to make it clear that I’m not quitting because I’m scared of what he’ll think of me, I want to quit because of what I think about myself. I don’t want to end up in a bad way because I had no self control. So far, I’ve done whatever I want whenever I want to do it. This, as I’ve come to find out, isn’t the way the world works. Drugs have skewed my perception since high school, and having been graduated since 2017, there’s without a doubt some permanent damage that’s been done. I’m already going to die earlier because I smoke cigarettes, i really shouldn’t be trying to shave any more years off my life. Because right now, I’m so in love that I can’t imagine life without him. I’ve blown things up to be more in my head than they actually are, but I’ve never been one to date around for the hell of it. When I want someone, I want them for the long run. Now that I might have found what I’m looking for, my worst fear is losing it because of something I could have prevented.)

I’m not going away just yet, and there will probably still be a few more videos before I call it quits completely, but I really needed an outlet to vent this out. I’m scared and excited all at once. I’ve said this about every relationship I’ve had (which isn’t many) but he’s different. I feel the universe is trying to tell me this guy may be the real deal. Here’s to hoping it lasts! Tweakers, will you roll one last bowl with me when the time comes?

Like I said I’ll be around for a little longer, but just in case things aren’t going smoothly and I have to delete the blog on a dime, I just wanted to thank everyone for their support with the blog. This is by far the most successful account I’ve started, and I’m rly proud of it. Thanks, tweaker fsmily. You guys took me in when I had nothing but sleepless nights alone with the shadow people. I wish you all the best and ideally, I’ll be starting a new blog when all is said and done. I’ll put the link in a post once I start it, and leave it for a few weeks before closing the account.

If anyone has any tips on quitting Tina, please share, it’ll be greatly appreciated because this is going to be one of the biggest and hardest obstacles I have to overcome so far. I’m terrified and feel alone in this fight, so even kind words are appreciated.

Thanks again guys, I’ll miss you when I’m gone.

xx

Sincerely,

Jibby Michel

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