#just FULL existential crisis

[homicidal-slvt]

My mom was like "You need to decide on what you wanna do for your birthday!!!"

And then I nearly cried cause I realized I'm gonna turn 20 and she had to calm me down. She's trying to cheer me up about it and I'm just like- fuck.

I'm nearly 20 and have never been on a date, don't know how to drive, have so much trauma and can barely cope with anything. It feels like just yesterday I turned 16??? How??? How am I almost 20??? Where is my life??? Where is the joy??? What happened???

#vee's random thoughts go brr #years especially pass quick when you're too busy blocking stuff out in a desperate attempt to cope #existential crisis coming for me full speed #need to just go to a park and swing for awhile and be a kid again cause fuck

[phoenixcatch7]

Why can't we have a batman is the spirit of Gotham au?

He already is, in meta, in character, in theming. Him and the joker. He is so very built upon what Gotham is made of, and Gotham builds from what he needs in turn, the setting of his story.

What if that is the reason he can take damage that would permanently ruin a physical career and come back? What if that's how he's managed to maintain his no-kill streak to such an extent? What if that's how he manages to maintain such high maintenance and all consuming identities?

For the heart and soul of a city containing all extremes, the richest nobility and the lowest of the poor, the cruellest villains and the most compassionate heroes, orphaned children and ancient lineages, a city rooted in fear and madness and grit-teeth determination and hard won kindness, what better choice could you find than Bruce Wayne?

But what if he wasn't alone in that? What if Gotham has sunk to such a low because its spirit is damaged and corrupted?

For the heart and soul of the cruellest city in the dc universe, the most unrelenting and uncaring, the one that practically laughs at your pain and suffering as you try to make it through another day, what better choice than the Joker?

#Batman v joker is yin yang up down left right it's the oroborus #Like it's possibly one of the most famous arch enemies of modern day lmao #Something something what if there was an actual reason b couldn't kill joker?? Like if joker died it'd kill him too. #Unbalance the incredibly fragile equilibrium b has spent decades fighting for #Like those threatre masks. Love theatre mask symbolism. But the batman is the smiling one and the joker is the frowning one #Its apathy vs compassion. Someone made a really good post about it a while ago but I can't find it ToT #But yeah imagine if b found out about the whole city spirit thing and freaked out it until he found out it was him. #Like full on possessive trawls through research and 'no I'm fine' to everyone watching and lying awake fuming and then it's all fine #Except now he can have an existential crisis because he never realised lmao. Idk maybe the waynes were infertile and he was a surprise baby #Maybe there's no hint he wasn't entirely human until he had the option opened to him. #Like he just thought all his weirdnesses were just from one of the various things he never got official diagnoses for #Which he still is! Some things were just supernatural lol #The kids are laughing at him but they've got the Gotham spirit of the protection which is how they're all (mostly) still alive lmao #Batman #Bruce Wayne #Cryptid batman #Gotham spirit au #Fic idea #Story idea #Batfam #Batfamily #Dc comics #Gotham #Dc city spirits

[dkettchen]

me waking up in a cold sweat at 6:20am: "I should get evening classes to be a hair dresser & training to be a makeup artist to be my own hair/make-up person on photo/video shoots and defy industry's single-gender-dominated-and-not-improving department segregation system like the all-rounder online creator that I am 👀😤"

#I swear I don't have adhd or anything I am just having a professional existential crisis recently x'D #ok but hear me out right like how useful would it be if people could hire someone who's a one-person videographer AND hair/make-up person! #I could like double my asking rate! #you need to do one before you can do the other anyway so why have two people for it #other than that the hair/make-up women don't specialise in photography #and the videographer lads have never touched a cosmetic product let alone knowing how to use it to any level let alone a professional one #AND I'd be able to offer hiring me as either role OR both at once #I'd have more options for jobs to apply to #and I'd have full control over the look I want from my subjects #cause like I do my own hair & make-up for my videos #like I know how to cut my own hair & do my own make-up #but I wanna learn how to do ANYONE'S!!! #and I know you can do hair dressing college evening classes cause I remember that was one of the other evening classes running while I was #doing my electrician's level 2 #and I know there's make-up training places in the city I've seen them before while I was looking up other things #if you do professional hair/make-up you need to take pictures of it for your portfolio anyway #and if you professionally take pictures of people you need to do their hair/make-up anyway to get the look you want #SO WHY NOT BOTH for any reason other than gender roles prohibiting the cishets from learning both skills to the required level!!! #THIS IS MY LEG UP #THIS IS MY QUEER NONBINARY TRANS ADVANTAGE #*evil manic laughter* #edit: and smth smth the thing where women & afab ppl don't do their skills to a professional level #unlike cishet men making everything their job and therefore succeeding professionally even in trad-female dominated skills/industries #hence I should LEARN my matr skills to the level required for professional stuff rather than limit myself to patr skills #that I have a disadvantage with due to cishet male-dominated nature of this industry/tech department #AND it'll give me an opportunity to message my detrans previous hairdresser (as I live too far away from her now) #being like 'u were one of my inspirations for this I also wanna learn how to cut mullets real good hope ur doing well T^T' x'D #AND I could apply to screenskills' trainee finder in another department in a few years regardless of whether or not I get in this year #(I applied to the camera one this year)

[todayisafridaynight]

tbh if ryuji knew there were two (2) whole more dragons in this franchise i dont think he’d have ever died just from the sheer will of needing to kick the shit out of them too

#snap chats #no one even knows what happens to the Y0 lieutenants in the epilogue i dont think like. tf are they #and i mean. how olds tendo about the same age as ryuji and kiryu yeah he and ryuji could throw down at least oncd #if majima can fight ryuji at 12 then fuck it these fists are rated E for everyone #greatest crime rgg fandom has ever committed is never doing a ‘hes squidward/youre squidward/im squidward’ joke #id do it but im going through an existential crisis and its going to get worse later #happy mothers day btw. to those who celebrate. #moment of silence for the dead-mom gang or wishes-their-mom-was-dead gang #every bitch in this franchise falls under that category thats so fucked up Dead Mom Gang not Wishes Their Mom Was Dead #but yeah Main Point Right like. like there’s shibusawa/kiryu/ryuji/tendo #we can be funny and include ichi and jo as two halves of a dragon to make one full dragon. just to make ryuji mad

[hauntingblue]

I have connected two dots... yamato kaido and momo (and kinda shirahoshi with her top) have clouds above their shoulders... and luffy in gear fourth has them also.... I can see the signs

#momo must be so emotionally confused omg poor child. this guy says he is my father and treats me like his son and also this samurai who has #been acting like my father just died. and now i turned 28 and a dragon and i need to save this island or my shougnate will die. jesus #FUCKING ROB RUCCI!!! I SURE HOPE NOT ONE STRAY ATTACK REACHES THE ROOM FULL OF CP0 AGENTS!!! #now the government is going to invade wano AND TAKE ROBIN!!!!! ROB LUCCI DIEEEE!!!!! AND YOU WILL FAIL AGAIN!!! #now how tf did the heart pirates get there... who can fly on there or did they just tag along on momos tail #the dinosaur head snake???? hello?? qjdhakshsk and it worked.... sanji... 'thats what a brachiosaurus is!' well i do not think so.... #wtf sanji.... so much of that wiggly dance he does with the heart eyes has brought him here... #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1053 #poor killer man.... why doesnt he cut off the arm kid doesnt have... that should do it right??? #jesus.... goodbye kid and law.... hawkins just hitting his head to a wall.... CUT OFF HIS ARM!!! oh no..... another self sacrificing mate.. #YEAAHHH THE ARM!!!!! is he gonna take it and give it to kid akdjsksj OH HE TOOK THE STRAW DOLL!!! killer your brain is so huge.. #the death card looking JUST like killer.... that was such a slay... they had this one thought out for a while..... #THE MUSIC!!! GOODBYE HAWKINS!!! KILLER OUTSERVED!!!! whats with the cutting of arms this arc.... kid now its your turn to slay (big mom) #episode 1054 #sanji having an existential crisis and queen just: WELCOME TO THIS MOMSTER WORLD #having issues with his body transforming doesnt help with the transfem allegations #APOO IS STILL ALIVE???? CUT OFF HIS HEAD!!!! #i was gonna say KINEMON!!! BUT I KNOW ITS THAT FUCKING KANJURO!!!!!! nami drawing the moon on his asscheek akdjsksj #KIKU AND KINEMON ARE ALIVE??? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS THIS IS A TRAP!!! DON'T GIVE ME HOPE!!! #NOOOOOO THE CP0 IS IN ACTION TOO NOOOOOOOOO #they are breathing.... omg.... kiku..... ORICHI DIEEEE!!!!! i knew this couldn't end like this for her... i have been completely bamboozled #kinemon appearing like the first time... just legs.... amazing #how does big mom ikoku inside the castle are we insane... yamato can you like bite off kanjuros head off or smth... finish him off PLEASE #why do they have steel beams in kaido's castle. everything else is wood and stone. who designed this. #bepo being in law's mid episode animation akdjaksns.... thats really his beffo (bff) bepo #big mom being crushed by some beams doesn't sound right... kid should turn into magneto and start bloodbending... or repel her into the sea #episode 1055 #episode 1056

[itspileofgoodthings]

it’s the way Ryan Gosling plays Ken’s feelings for Barbie for me. because the feelings are unreal and fake in the way of a doll but they’re also intensely real in the way of his actual personality/who he actually is.

#it’s the way he looks at her sometimes when she isn’t looking at him #and it’s just full of intense longing and vulnerability #so it’s that combination that I love SO much #which is over-the-top cartoonish-ness that’s full of PERSONALITY and excess and conviction #and then this core of -well I already said it but INTENSE vulnerability #it’s Michael Scott in love with Holly. It’s Schmidt in love with Cece #and the way Ryan plays it is even more so because he’s a doll and of course in a real way his love for her is not a real thing #BUT IN AN EVEN REALER WAY—— #To paraphrase Michael Scott (!!!!!) #it’s the realest thing anyone in Barbieland has ever known (to paraphrase Taylor)! #like he’s the only one trying to do anything real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #and so for me my Barbie takes are all secondhand #because the story they’re telling has some narrative cracks and weaknesses in it #but also I kind of don’t care because they’re not focusing on the story that is the most interesting to me personally #which is this hilarious icon of a cartoon man who is—somewhere in the depths of his little plastic Ken heart—really in love #and I know it seems like I’m just repeating and twisting what the movie DOES say. that he’s in love but it’s fake and he has to get over it #to be his own person #but that’s only the one layer for me!!!!!! #and it’s a true one. I actually love his existential crisis and the moment where he’s forced to be his own person (doll) #and that’s the best thing Barbie could do for him in that moment #but it only addresses part of the situation —the part of his feelings that are fake. it doesn’t actually see or do anything #with the real love that’s also somehow by the magic of personality there #And it pretends it isn’t. BUT IT IS ALSKKSKSJEJJE #like I’m SORRY but he is just an absolute magnet for her and he’s so deeply responsive to her presence underneath all of the exaggeration #it’s in his eyes it’s in his voice!!!!! like. Sorry I know love when I see it akskksksksksjsj #and yeah that love is very decidedly not in her character and at this stage that made sense for it not to be #because of her journey to humanity etc. but I wanted them to do something with that real love in Ken and they don’t even see it #which is OKAY because tbh I’m mostly just delighted that it’s THERE #but yeah. That’s the most interesting part of the movie to me #how could it not be

[the-knife-consumer]

One thing I really like is the idea that springbonnie hates William just as much as William has (probably) grown to hate it.

#i say probably because book william is off his fucking rocker. obviously the game one is too but the book one is actually so #uncomfortable to read. dont like him. but anyway say probably because book creep enjoyed being a rotting corpse in a rabbit suit #but game william. lol get tortured stupid. #my ver of the animatronics have?? weird pseudo free will??? like they know they are not real animals and that theyre only #here to entertain kids. but they ARENT aware that there are multiples of them #or at least they shouldnt be. see glamfred endo existential crisis. #and when on stage they arent really 'awake' just going on script and not thinking at all. #and even though they can think whatever they want they cant do anything against programming. or they shouldnt be able to at least #that is for the older ones. glamrocks have full complexity of human brains pretty much. #but anyway. something something your prison hates you just as much as you hate it. you are trapped with it and its equally trapped with you #it cant do much because youre taking up too much space inside of it. but it knows your there. and every chance it gets #it will do anything in its power to hurt you and get its body back. idk william parasite on his creation moment #it is not human like you. it doesnt process things like you. hate will not fade into acceptance it will always want you OUT

[bananastarion]

Me to myself, after seething over a random stranger on the internet not liking Astarion: Ok I need to calm tf down, he's literally not real, everyone is entitled to their opinions, you're almost 30 years old, you've never given a fuck about what anyone thinks about fictional shit before WTF ARE YOU BECOMING WHAT IS THIS EVEN

#i am becoming a full blown simp and white knight for astarion and its giving me an existential crisis #therapists pls explain #the only other time i get really pissed when people have a Bad and Wrong opinion that shouldnt matter is when they hate cats #if you hate cats or astarion just dont even talk to me ill end up being mean to you

[worldwright]

An interesting thing I noticed at Geek Girl Con is the sheer difference in the number of people who recognized 98 Vash as compared to Sakura Con.

My working theory is that the demographic for GGC trends quite a bit older than for SC, and so I happened across a lot more people who were in the first wave of Trigun fandom decades ago.

This is honestly one of my favorite parts of this fandom -- just that it's Been Around, technically for longer than I've been alive. I see trimax art from 2013 reblogged and it just gives me warm fuzzies. This community survives. I'm so happy to be a part of it.

#trigun #trigun stampede #trigun 98 #trigun maximum #i am so full of love yall im so. full of love 🥺🥺 #half the reason i took so long in the expo hall was that 75% of the vendors recognized the coat and chatted about how happy they were to see #trigun coming back it was So. 🥺🥺🥺 #also it's just such an incredible feeling for older people to be so enthusiastic about the same thing s #*as you and it's just like. omg. omg ily so much #ok it's time for Tea and Show That Gives Me An Existential Crisis #geek girl con 2023

[technicalthinker]

being bi in theory should be the best of all worlds but in practice when it comes to dating it's like. I'm too straight to be gay and too gay to be straight. you feel me

#JUST BISEXUAL THINGS #i'm bi tag #amanda rambles #talked to a girl for a while now but afraid i'm faking or forcing feelings/interest #we're not actually a thing but we're talking a bunch #and i cant meet her until in 2 months when she moves back so i cant check the vibe in person. #more difficult IMAGINING the relationship #meanwhile i meet some cute normal dude and im like #i can imagine it easier ive dated a dude im more socially attuned to how that'd feel #but also god youre too straight and normal and we could have a lot of fun together but im not sure i could be fully me #im not even that stressed about dating anymore i have my hands full with dog and job and other existential crisis #(ive deleted the dating apps lmao) #BUT GOD IT HITS ME SOMETIMES #(obv feel free to rb if youre in the same boat as i am this is not a personal deep sad thought this is an EVENT) #(anyone can join if you feel conflicted enough)

[pearlcaddy]

I’m at that stage of homesickness where I came across one of those kitschy LA tourist shirts at TK Maxx and almost burst into tears.

#normally I roll my eyes at them because they don’t make any sense for sale in scotland #but alas—this is my current emotional state #a decade ago I would have given anything to leave la #and now after many years in the uk under the hostile environment away from my found family i’m crying over the most nonsense shirt #I hate it here #I just want to go home #I just want to hang out with people who understand me #I just want to have the legal right to live where I am and not have to think about fucking visas #i’m so tired #god it’s very embarrassing that a shirt is making me this emotional—this shirt is deeply hideous #ugly shirt: *exists* me: *full-blown existential crisis* #pearlcaddy.txt

[katya-goncharov]

maybe i SHOULD just try to get a different job that would be better suited to me

#only i'd feel bad after such a short time because they provided me with a uniform and everything and it's clear that they're short-staffed #at the moment and everyone WAS really nice. it was just that i somehow don't quite jel with the people. and also i don't know if i can #handle being around people for so long at a time. and having to be constantly working and using my initiative to try to find what needs #doing and generally activating the part of my brain that doesn't come naturally to me #and yeah i had another offer for a summer job that i could say yes to. but i think that would burn me out even more bc it's just as much of #being around people only SIX days a week full-time #i just don't know if i'm cut out for being employed in general. but as an adult you sort of have to be because you need money and also just #to do SOMETHING with your life. and i don't want to just become another depressing statistic about the amount of autistic people who don't #work. ugh anyway ignore me i'm just having an existential crisis i guess. maybe i'll feel better tomorrow #emma vents #they should invent jobs that are specifically neurodivergent friendly but i don't think such a thing exists

[cappurrccino]

like... who even am I, as a person? will I ever figure it out?

#//juri speaks #dont mind me just having a bit of an existential crisis at work #i feel like ive been having a non-stop midlife crisis since i was 20 #im like an NPC that was given full autonomy but no additional programming #i dont know what to DO

[nightmareforsale]

TW d**th and existential crisis kinda

I have just watched a video about a show called "The midnight gospel" and its made me think a lot. growing up I didn't understand that life was short and I had a period in my life where I constantly had panic attacks about death and it made me really scared. I wouldn't know how to carry myself and it made me feel so small. but watching that video and rethinking on my life has made me feel less scared. I know deep down that I'm afraid of death. everyone is to some point but man I think I get it. being into fossils and other things that's have lived and died has shown me that ill truly never be forgotten at least in the way that is the existents of human beings. my name will be said one last time and that's the scariest thing I know that. but I know we as a people, as a species will leave a mark on this world for a long time and I'm ok with being forgotten. I know who I am and what my purpose is and that's ok. is my purpose something that will bring in lots of money and ill be able to survive off of it. no, never but do I know that what I do makes the people around me feel seen and make people know that they are loved, yes. my purpose in life is to be there for people and to make them aware that yes we die but living is the most beautiful thing a person can do. just existing is a wonderful thing and that we need to live in the moment and be at peace with ourselves. death is something that the human mind can not understand because it can not understand not existing. that's ok we will all in the end come to terms with it in our own time.

#midnight gospel #important #tw death #tw heavy topic #nighty babbles #sorry for the long ass post i just wow my brain is so full of worms because of this fucking show and it makes me feel seen #tw existential crisis

[deus-ex-mona]

little brothers and their will to #slay, man </3

#while yes yes this post technically does apply to the simp bros i wanna cry about my own bro in the tags so you have been warned~? #so to start off my monthly existential crisis rant i just wanna say that… i’m so so soo envious of my bro. like to a really unhealthy extent #he’s tall enough to reach the top shelves. i can barely touch them if i jump. he has so many friends and even a gf. i have 0 irl friends. #he is able to sit in one spot and focus on his studies. i can’t even sit down for a full half hour to *eat* without getting up to take a nap #he’s learning how to drive. i can’t. he was admitted into university. i wasn’t. he’s able to find what he likes and stick to it. i can’t. #like mannn. he thrived in the course he chose in tertiary education while i lost my passion for it in the middle of my first year. #he’s good at picking up everything he tries (puzzle cubes; bball; you name it he’s good at it) while i’m just. bad at everything i try lol #he’s very good at his studies (aside from languages) and sports. i’m not good at anything at all. #he gets told that he has a great sense of humour. i’m just. boring and annoying. lolllll #he’s super sociable and he has good relations with pretty much every single family member (sans me). i’m not in contsct with most of the fam #heck he was pretty much the favourite from the moment he was born. his baby pics still get brought up from time to time bc of how cute he is #(granted it’s bc he looks like a bby m*ch*l*n man (like the tire company mascot) and he’s super cute in them but still) #and he’s also a guy and content with being a guy which is just… not fair y’knowwww~~~ asian family boy biases and all (cries) #our father pretty much cast me aside once my bro was old enough to hang with him. and even before then the bias was as clear as day. >:((((( #i make the dude mad? i get screamed at and whaccced. bro gets the dude mad? he gets a lesson on how to throw punches instead!!! like wow!!!! #he’s the only one who got to escape any direct physical harm from the guy and yet!!!! he was the 1st one to be singled out for trauma focus #idk if it’s bc of his age back then or whattttt but i can’t believe i had to friggin’ ask my therapist back then for a trauma assessment :( #2015 was a different time… my bro managed to succeed in school while i was rejected from the drama club for being too depressed :(((( #but i’m sure my bro has his own share of struggles… and i’m glad that he has a few groups of friends to chill with. really. #but i just can’t help feeling extremely envious of him. i could never tell him any of this though we hardly talk at home lol #and he pretends not to know me when i approach him in public lmfaoooo. i don’t blame him though; i’d do the same if i were to approach me #so yeah. if you read this i’m sorry for being cringefail and bad at everything~~ am i still allowed to pollute your dash~? <3 #and also. idk if i’ll be able to continue sischange over this week bc i’ll be handling 2 workstations by meself :( and idk how tired i’ll be #but we’ll see ok~? sorry for having zero time management skills am i still qualified to be a legit adult~? #sunday’s 🧂saltfest🧂

[real-life-cloud]

:(

#the sky speaks #vent time!! #tw suicidal ideation #i wish i could just hate my mother it would be so much easier #but shes trying so hard and in so much pain #but shes so TIRING to be around !!!! #she got in a wreck this evening. she was drinking and driving around to all of people who don't talk to her anymore #shes getting a dui i guess? #and this is just one thing in a looooong list of shit shes pulled #ive heard her scream and sob so much today. but now shes also saying she wants to die. over n over #full on existential crisis. she feels no purpose and is so lonely #she left this morning to go shopping tyen just never came home. my dad asked me to call her and she answered and just said #i can't. im sorry. and hung up on me. then she turned off her phone and we didnt know where she was for a half hour #and i was so fucjing worried that shed killed herswlf or somthing i couldnr even remember rhe last thing i said to her? #i hugged her for so long when we finally got home #but im just so tired of loving her #shes still down there crying but i cqnt listen tk her anymore. my head is pounding. i wanna sob. i never wanna cry again. #i kinda wanna die too but i feel like i cant tell anyone really. moms such a mess how could i possibly put these feelings onto dad or thomas #and not mom. god. shes thw reason i feel like that. evwry time. im so tired of her falling apart that id rather not be here. #if i had just sucked up being on my period and went shopping with her today this wouldn't have happened. but that shoyldnr be how it is!!!!! #im allowed ro stay home!!! i shouldnr have to babysit her!! but ive felt like i was HER mother aince i was 17 #im just so tired