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#just absolute carnage and we’re all here for it
billybob598 · 5 months
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Monster (Alessia Russo x Reader)
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What's up my mammals? anyways, this was requested originally as an air ambulance reader but I decided to switch it up a bit, if that's ok. i was planning on doing the olga fic next but I really wanna do a kcc fic so I might work on both. enough of me, though. like always, any feedback good or bad is welcomed! Happy reading!
Word Count: 2k (I mean...COME ON MOTHERTRUCKERS)
Warnings: Swearing, a bit of violence, emotional crisis
“Ooh, how about this one?” Alessia says from above you while pointing at a picture in the magazine you were holding. 
“Mmm, no I don’t like that one,” you respond, shaking your head. Alessia pouts, begrudgingly flipping the page. The two of you were engaged to be married and were currently picking out tables for your reception. You continue to flip through the magazine pages as you lie between your fiancee’s legs. After a few more minutes of vetoing each other's choices, you both decided to take a break. You get up and start making some coffee while Alessia takes a little longer to get out of bed. Just as you’re pouring the coffee into your mugs, Alessia calls you to the bedroom,
“Y/N! Come here now!” Startled, you hastily head towards your shared room.
“Everything okay, love?” Peeking around the corner you find your girlfriend, white as a ghost, your phone a few inches away from her ear. Rushing over, you carefully remove the phone from her hand and put it beside your ear. “Who is this?” 
“Lieutenant Y/L/N, good to talk to you again,” the unmistakable deep voice says through the speaker. Unknowingly, you stand up straighter. Shoulders back, chest puffing out. 
“Sir,” you say, your voice miles different than the one you were just speaking to Alessia in.
“I’m going to get straight to the point, you’re being deployed. I’ll send you the details and your flight information. I’m not asking, soldier,” his tone left no room for arguing. You sigh, glancing over at Alessia who watched and listened to your conversation intently. 
“Sir, with all due respect, is there no one else that you could take?” You say exasperated.
“Are you saying you don’t want to serve your country, Lieutenant?” 
“No, no, not at all. But, you see I’m getting married in a few months here, sir.”
“Well, in a few months, you’ll be back. As I said, this isn’t a request.” With a sigh you nod and mutter out a “yes sir” before hanging up the phone and turning to look at the Arsenal striker.
“Less?” She doesn’t respond. She’s rooted to the spot. Her mind racing at a million miles an hour. They were going send you and hundreds of other British soldiers in there to fight a military that looked very far from surrendering. No. She couldn’t let you go like that. She was this close to finally being able to call you her wife. There was no chance in hell that she’d let you slip through her fingers like that. She’s broken out of her thoughts by your hand gently grasping hers. 
“Sorry, what?” She asks, meeting your eyes for the first time since receiving the phone call.
“Are you okay, Less?” You speak softly while slowly caressing the back of her hand. 
“Mhm, of course I am. Not like they’re deploying you into a country in absolute carnage or anything,” she mutters, her frustration getting the better of her.
“Baby, come on now. You know I can’t control this and it’s my job. It’s what I signed up for, it’s what you signed up for,” you reason.
“I know it’s what I signed up for, but what I didn’t sign up for is you leaving for duty with only a few months until we’re supposed to get married,” her voice stern. 
“Baby, I can’t say no, I’ll get dishonourably discharged. I’ll be fine Alessia, don’t worry,” you try to reason, getting a bit frustrated. Your girlfriend nods her head sadly. 
“Okay, okay. You’re right, you have to go. But, you have to call at least once a day, deal?”
A grin comes across your face as you pull her into a soft kiss, “Deal.”
A few weeks later, you’re tiredly peeling off your combat dress. Throwing the last few bits of armour onto the ground, you sigh and lie down on the bottom bunk. After a long day of bullets, bombs, and blood all you want to do is get just a few minutes of sleep before you’re put back on patrol duty. Just as your eyes begin to shut, your phone rings. The special ringtone you have set indicates who it is. 
“Hey, love!” Your favourite blonde’s cheery voice exclaims through the speakers.
“Hi Lessi,” you mumble out, tiredly. She frowns. 
“Everything okay, love?” 
You try to muster up a convincing smile, “Yeah, yeah everything’s fine, baby. Just tired is all.” Alessia isn’t convinced by your attempts, however.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” she says softly. 
“It’s okay, baby. How about you tell me about your day,” you sigh, obviously not wanting to talk. The striker nods and begins to talk in great detail about her day. You nod along and throw a question in every once and a while. After almost thirty minutes, you begin to yawn and your eyelids get heavier and heavier by the second. 
“How about you go to sleep now, honey,” Alessia’s soft, sweet voice whispers to you. 
“Mmm, okay. Don’t hang up, though,” you mumble sleepily. 
“Why not?”
“I don’t wanna be alone, please,” Alessia’s heart cracks slightly at how sad and scared you sound. 
“Of course, baby. I’ll be right here, you go to sleep now,” she coos. Within thirty seconds you’re out. Alessia laughs quietly and continues to get ready for training. She puts herself on mute as she goes about her day. While she was eating her breakfast with the team, she was teased relentlessly. It was fine by her though, she was just happy to see your face. And to see that you were finally resting. She knew that you weren’t exactly getting your 7-8 hours of sleep, so seeing you sleeping, if only for a bit, brought her some peace. 
As Alessia and Kyra Cooney-Cross were walking through the halls, on their way to the changeroom, a sudden and loud bang could be heard from your side. Startled, Alessia looks at her phone only to find you wide awake, eyes big. 
The striker unmutes herself, “Y/N, love, is everything okay?”
Your eyes widen even further when you hear her voice, “Err, yeah, everything’s good.” Alessia is not convinced at all.
Even less so when she hears a random voice yell through the night, “We’re under attack!” This springs you into action, you rush to put on your combat dress. Alessia is rooted to the spot. This couldn’t be happening, could it? Grabbing your phone, you sprint out of the barrack and towards the weaponry. Flinging the door open, you and a dozen other soldiers rush to grab rifles or pistols or anything really. 
“Less, I’ve got to go…” you say loudly, over the bullets and shouts.
“Y/N? Are you okay? What’s happ-” Alessia is cut short when you hang up. Tears are already filling her eyes as Kyra pulls her into a tight hug.
“I’m sure she’s gonna be okay,” Kyra says into her ear. 
Adrenaline coursing through your veins, you tuck your phone away.
“Y/L/N! Take a team. Try and see if you can get in behind them,” One of your superior officers tells you. Nodding, you pick seven other people and lead them into the darkness. Everyone was silent as you trekked through the desert. Every once and awhile someone would say something over the radio or there would a random burst of gunfire, making everyone’s head swivel. The tension was palpable. It felt that if anyone so much as breathed a hair too loudly, that you’d be discovered. In the distance you could see the tanks and soldiers going at it. The eight of you continued on, nerves only increasing the closer you got to the enemies camp. After twenty more minutes of walking, your little group was only a few hundred metres out from their first line of defence. Suddenly, there was a round of shots fired. Shit, they’d seen you. Everyone scattered as best they could. That was the downside of warfare in the desert, there was nowhere to hide. 
“This way! Come on, run!” You yell into the blackness, hoping someone had heard you. Loading your rifle, you turned and fired a few shots back, giving enough time for everyone else on your team to take cover behind a sand ridge. When the final person ran past you, you turned and sprinted up the massive hill. You were almost at the top when the guy in front of you hit the ground with a grunt. Blood almost immediately leaking through the back of his shirt. “Come on, come on, man.” You grabbed his arm roughly and dragged him behind you. Reaching the peak of the ridge, you pulled the two of you down the other side.
“Ahh, fuck,” he mutters out. Quickly, you and another soldier cover up his wound. 
“You’re gonna be fine, mate,” you say to him, “Keep applying pressure.” The other soldier nods and ensures that their hands are covering everything. “Alright guys, we have two options. One, we turn back, try to use this ridge as cover and try to make it back to base. Two, some of us stay here and try and snipe them. The others move in and try to take out their tanks. I saw them, they’re not very heavily guarded and I bet we could rush them and take out them out.”
Everyone looks around at each other. A few of them shrug non-chalantly. Finally, Colgate, a Second Liuetenant who had been given his nickname from the odd spelling of his last name, spoke up, “Let’s blow these motherfuckers.” Hearty laughs erupt from everyone.
Two people set up as snipers while the wounded guy also grabs his rifle to try and contribute. The restof you talk over the plan, deciding on two rushing to the left and taking out any guards covering the side and the rest go through the middle. 
“Okay, everyone ready?” You ask to the group. You get nods in response, “Let’s roll out then.” 
Stalking through the night, every footstep sounds painfully loud. The five of you successfully get to the tanks, two taking cover behind some storage container. The other three of you hide behind an abandoned car. Giving the go-ahead signal, everyone surges forward. Pressing down on the trigger of your gun, your arms shake from the recoil. You direct the bullets at the few guards standing around. If you weren’t able to see the bullets coming from beside you, you wouldn’t of known that anyone else was shooting. Everything seemed so distant, you could barely make out the sound of your own gun firing. As each one of the soldiers dropped, you rushed forward. Reaching into the backpack hanging off your back, you took out enough grenades to blow everything within their blast radius to bits. Placing them strategically around the tanks, you made sure everyone was ready to run before lighting the spark. Everyone started to sprint towards the snipers, who were covering you. As you began to run, you paused, looking down at the people you had just killed. A lump forms in your throat. You had killed them. You shot them with real bullets, not those Nerf darts you used against your siblings. They were dead. They were real people. Their families were going to get those letters, the same ones you swore you would never let Alessia get. 
“Jesus Christ, Y/N. Run!” A yell breaks you out of your thoughts. Remembering your current situation, you get going again, barely making it behind the sand ridge in time. The explosion rings through your ears, the sight of the fireball stretching upwards was spectacular. All eight of you let out a sigh of relief. You were safe, no one was going to find you, especially since they were all to preoccupied with checking on their tanks.
You sat down in the sand, putting your head in your hands. Tears slowly fall from your eyes. War had turned you into a monster. You killed without a second thought. You didn’t want to be here. The only place you wanted to be was in your Alessia’s arms. Preparing for your storybook wedding with the love of your life. Instead, here you were, in the middle of an all-out war, killing complete strangers for no apparent reason other than you were told to.
Monster.
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Without “Biden’s support, Israel would long ago have been forced to stop the fighting in Gaza due to a shortage of weapons, while at the same time it would have been forced to deal with United Nations Security Council resolutions (and possibly sanctions) against it.”
[...]
[Israel's] reliance on US weapons is made clear by the fact that the United States has approved and delivered more than 100 separate military sales for Israel—almost one per day—since the war began. Among other weapons, the United States has sent tens of thousands of artillery shells and thousands of unguided “dumb” bombs. It is not known just how many of them have been used in Gaza, but Israelis have not hidden the fact that these weapons are essential to the war effort. “All of our missiles, the ammunition, the precision-guided bombs, all the airplanes and bombs, it’s all from the US,” retired Israeli Maj. General Itzhak Brik said in November. “The minute they turn off the tap, you can’t keep fighting. You have no capability.” 
[...]
“We’re [at] a minimum of 30,000 dead people,” said Levy, the former Israeli peace negotiator. “This level of death and destruction and starvation and displacement. Absolute carnage. And you are still arming them? You are still backing up their narrative? And the best you can come up with is a bit of optimism over an ice cream and expressions of frustration and name-calling? Oh, man. That’s really bad.”
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puppetwoman17 · 6 months
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*PILLAR AU* Edition!
It’s been longer than I’d like, but we’re getting back into the Pillar AU I love so much! If you don’t remember, I’ve talked about it in an earlier post.
Nabu is…reluctant to join the League. At least, that’s the short of it. If he were completely candid, he wanted nothing to do with the Justice League. But if he wanted to go on to complete his work as a Lord of Order, having some sort of alliance would help. Not even including the fact that if they met during battles, the end result would likely be a mess.
That brings him here, walking behind an eager Man of Steel as he is shown around the Watchtower, his new team’s base of operations. It isn’t his Tower of Fate, but a novelty all on its own. He passes by other heroes who give him unsettling smiles. These people confuse him.
After a while of simply looking into different rooms, Superman shows him the main common area. It’s mostly a lounge, he says. Where heroes can simply be. No worrying about the fate of the world. Just talking and being in each other’s company.
Sounds pointless, but okay.
The common area is packed with heroes, all of them surrounding one in the middle. They’re all either whispering, or completely silent, listening to the one in the middle prattle on about some harrowing tale. Everyone’s smiling and they look like they’re hanging onto every word the speaker is saying. Nothing of note.
Well, actually, the voice sounds familiar…
Nabu draws closer, not too close, and spies the hero in the middle, all smiles and—
Lords above.
Billy. That stupid, idiotic, narrow minded boy is sitting in his Champion form in front of practically half the Justice League. He’s smiling in that way that you know he knows he’s in trouble, or, as he’d say, “deep shit”. Though, to any of these stupid heroes, he’s smiling like he always is.
Nabu stares. Cap stares back. Everyone else notices this.
“Hey Cap,” a hero in red, with two lightning bolts on either side of his head, stands in front of the other hero almost protectively. “You know this guy?”
“If he’s giving you trouble…” another hero, this one dressed in green and wearing a green ring. He’s crossing his arms in an attempt to look powerful when in actuality, both the Champion and Lord could snap him like a twig.
Cap smiles and laughs good-naturedly. “No, no, it’s fine. It’s just Fate being Fate.”
“Who is…Fate?” Hawkgirl asks. Her feathers begin to ruffle, like she’s getting ready for battle. While Nabu is very proud of the way he commands a room, he is also extremely riled up by the fact that Billy is joining a team. The Champion. On a team? Absolutely unheard of.
“Doctor?” Superman asks in a worried tone. “Are you—“
“I am. Fine.” He doesn’t look away from Billy, but the silent stare says all he needs to say. That boy is a dead man.
Cap just smiles over his cheeky grin.
The other leaguers are confused. The stand-off didn’t feel threatening. Not like Fate wanted to hurt the Captain. No, he seemed more like a disappointed parent. Maybe even friend. It’s clear they know each other.
The betting pool gets more rigorous after that.
It’s been a couple weeks since Fate joined the JL. The way they operate is odd, but usually voicing his opinions ended up in squabbles he had no time for.
Like now.
He and Superman exchanged words in the common area. Both were convinced their way of handling the recent mission was right. Fate wanted to destroy the source of the carnage while Superman wanted to waste his time helping civilians. If the threat were neutralized, there would be no people in need of help!
But try telling that to Superman.
Everyone else doesn’t know what to do. Neither of them will let anyone else into the fight. Batman thinks it would be best to let both heroes hash this out themselves, but that was twenty minutes ago.
Then Marvel steps up. Leaguers tell him to let it be, but he knows better. Knows that Fate is just trying to keep everything in balance and that he’s never done so with a team. That’s why he was scared when he found out Billy was joining one.
“Nabu.”
Everything stops. Superman quits yelling and gives a confused look to Marvel. The other Leaguers are thrown off by the name.
Fate simply relaxes in his stance.
“Nabu, let’s take a walk, hm?”
“Only if you don’t spoil it with peacekeeping anecdotes.”
“No promises, Doctor.”
Nabu doesn’t say much else, but he does walk away, slower, like he’s waiting for Cap to join. Superman gives Cap a look, but the other merely shrugs and says “Well talk later.”
The exchange between The Captain and the Doctor is seen by many. Some people think they’re lovers. Others, family. Maybe old, old friends. All of them are eager to learn more about their enigmatic teammate who always holds them at an arm’s length.
It’s weird, seeing him be so open and personal with someone. Well, he’s always talked with them about their problems, and helped in so many ways, but that just it. He never truly opens up. Yet, with Fate, it’s so easy. So natural. Like he trusts the man with his life.
Like he trusts him more than he does the entire League.
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Halloween party 🎃👻 (part Colby x y/n)
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AUTHORS NOTE 📝 : so you guys voted for me to write this one I’m here it is. It’s a bit longer than the others I write but I’m still pretty proud of it. Let me know your ideas please. I’m kinda running out of ideas 💡. Anyways I worked hard so please like. 👍
CONTENTS: fluff, party, drinking, creepy guys (they don’t do anything though) smut (but not a lot bc I cut away)
To celebrate Halloween and the end of a successful hellweek. Sam and Colby are a having a Halloween party. Of course I came I use any excuse I have to hang out with my boyfriend Colby. And I absolutely love Halloween. Just because I didn’t have a costume doesn’t mean that I couldn’t dress festive.
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When I get there it’s crazy packed. I see Sam and Colby in the crowd however and meet him.
“y/n I’m glad you came. Happy Halloween” Sam says
“you look really hot” Colby tells me after sam walks away to talk to someone
“you do too” I smirk as we join the party. We mingled and dance for a bit. I kept thinking about how Colby looks so hot in his shirt. They had some sort of alcoholic punch. The party was getting really wild. People we’re making out in the hallway and getting very drunk. I heard a breaking of glass from another corner of the house where a fight broke out. People we pushing each other into the pool. And outside there was a keg stand. There were so many people there it was massive. The punch was really good but I have no idea what was in it. “Colbs can you please get me another drink?”
“sure”
A few minutes after Colby left two men came up to me. Neither were very attractive and one of them was clearly drunk.
“hey baby” one of them said “how you doing?”
“fine” I answered flatly
“come on, come upstairs with us” the other man said slurring his words a bit.
“I have a boyfriend!” I angrily replied
he grabbed my hand “well I don’t see him” I started to pull my hand away but he held on tighter.
“He right here” Colby said in a low angry tone. he was seething.
“woah there pal, we haven’t done anything”
“Colby, let’s go” I say pulling him away to his room where we can talk quietly. He sat on his bed and I sat next to him.
“Are you mad at me? You know I don’t like him. I told him I had a boyfriend.
“No it’s just.” He sighes “I love you y/n and it’s hard for me to see people look at you like your an object”
my heart swelled with love “oh colbs” I wrapped my hands around his neck. And I kissed him. He responded my deepening the kiss and running his fingers through my hair. I grabbed his shirt collar and kissed him roughly. He then started to attack my neck with hickeys. They felt so good. It was amazing. I get on get lap and take off his shirt. I run my fingers down his chest. He eagerly takes my shirt off and rips my bra not able to wait another moment. He then crashes his lips into mine in a very heated kiss.
————-🍋🍋🍋🍋
(listen to this when you read the chapter idk how to get it so it’s not just a preview but listen to it from beginning)
When I wake up my legs are so incredibly sore. I get up and steal some of Colby’s pjs. His flannel pants and t-shirt. I inhale the smell of the t-shirt. It smells like him. It was comforting. He got out of the shower
“Oh your awake. How do you feel?”
“after last night? Incredibly sore. I can barely walk”
He laughed ”should we go assess the damage?
There was absolute carnage. Majority of the poeple made it home safely. But there was still a lot of drunk people passed out in the hallways. There was glitter everywhere, and don’t ask me why I don’t even know. The beer cans and bottles were scattered everywhere.
“all right all right everyone out!” I said as I woke them up from their trance. I had to bust some people out of closets where they had hooked up. As everyone was waking up I went and looked in the mirror.
“aw fuck” I whispered as I looked at the massive amount of hickeys Colby had given me. But I still don’t regret it. Once everyone was Finally out we and Colby wiggled up to each other to watch a movie. It was a scary movie to celebrate Halloween. But I didn’t feel scared at all. Not with Colby’s arms around me. With him I feel safe and protected. He kisses me warm and tender. It’s sweet and I don’t want this moment to end. And for a very long time it doesn’t. For the rest of the day we sit together watching movies. Content in each other’s company.
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aloneinthehellfire · 1 year
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Chapter 20: The Inevitable
Season One | Season Two | Season Three | Season Four
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Raining Hellfire 4: Part Two
Word Count: 5735 words of absolute carnage and despair
Warnings: swearing, (mentions of) death, visions, blood, vivid descriptions of gore (?), i'll be honest i was crying too much to take note so tell me if i missed any
[A/N: This one... this changes everything *sobs uncontrollably*.]
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The Inevitable
Everything was dark around you.
The forest was thick, stretched out to make the walk excruciatingly long. But in this time of life and death, it suddenly felt too short.
Your steps matched Robin’s, both of you cautiously avoiding vines. Nancy and Steve walked close behind, breaking into small conversation. Whilst you had started this journey all together, Robin’s anxiety had rushed her steps and you didn’t want her to be alone. Steve seemed to be reluctant about you leaving his side, but the reassuring smile you had sent him must have calmed his nerves and soon enough you could just make out your friends’ silhouettes in the distance.
“Hamburger.” Robin suddenly speaks into the heavy silence and you frown.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“And fries.” She adds, a lovesick smile on her face as you step over a vine.
“Are you having a stroke?”
Robin laughs, shaking her head. “I was just planning my first meal after we get out here.”
“I love the way your brain works.” You sigh and she smirks at you.
“Keep talking like that and you’ll really have to take me to dinner.” She jokes, bumping your shoulder. There’s a strange look flashing on her face before she clears her throat and acts nonchalant. “Speaking of dates… you and Steve, huh?”
You almost trip over the surfaced root of a tree, steadying yourself with a cough.
“Excuse me?”
“Please.” She rolls her eyes, halting to a stop and cocking her head. “You really think I wouldn’t notice when my best friends start getting all lovey-dovey on eachother?”
“Gross.” You comment plainly, heart rate rising, and continuing on through the forest, “And you’re wrong.”
“Ha!” Robin laughs abruptly, shaking her beret-donned head. “You guys think you’ve been so secret with your whispers and hidden touches. I’m clumsy, not blind. You probably talked about it at the RV when I disappeared.”
Your silence tells her all she needs to know and, as her eyes widen, it dawns on you. Once her face breaks into a wide smile, you know you’ve messed up.
“Oh, my, go-” You cut off her squeal with your hand.
“I love you very much but we don’t need any unwanted visitors right now.” You warn and she quickly nods, waiting for you to slowly remove your hand. “Okay?”
“Oh my god.” She whispers with a grin and you couldn’t resist the smile that spread across your face, Robin mockingly shoving your shoulder. “I knew I didn’t prematurely attack you with glitter. You have to tell me everything.”
You send her a look, carefully shifting your glance to the floor to avoid any trips. “Are you sure we should be talking about this right now?”
“It’s the perfect time.” She sighs as you offer her a hand over a bigger vine. “Like, I know we have to be prepared and all but if I think too much about it I’m just gonna curl up and panic so, please, distract me with your adorable boyfriend. If, I can call him that?”
“We…” You start, frowning, “Well, not exactly.”
“Not exactly?”
“We didn’t really discuss it in detail.” You admit, shrugging. Robin simply nods, a worried look on her face as she saw the treeline coming to an end in the distance. “Uh… but we were talking about it, kind of. We decided to talk about it all when we’re back home. Finally gonna give it a shot. No more distractions.”
Her eyes light up, thankful for the clarity, and she grins. “About time.”
“I know, right?” You chuckle, but you still couldn’t help the dreaded feeling in the pit of your stomach, “Hey, Robs?”
“Hm?”
“I know we agreed on talking about anything other than our impending doom, but…” You take a breath and Robin raises an eyebrow, “Do you really think it’s not gonna work out for us this time?”
Robin ponders this for a moment, coming to a stop just before the forest ended, glancing back at where Nancy and Steve almost caught up. “I think… we need to be prepared for anything. Why?”
You open your mouth just as Steve and Nancy step towards you, taking deep breaths in preparation. Any and every conversation was pulled to a halt now. You had a mission.
You didn’t get the chance to explain how ever since you arrived at the trailer park, you’ve felt yourself weaken. You couldn’t tell her how you had a bad feeling everything would go wrong.
You didn’t say how you didn’t think you’d make it out of this alive.
“I’ll be honest…” Robin speaks as you all step away from the trees, staring at the house swarmed by bats, “I totally thought we were going the wrong way.”
You observe the scene, mostly for your own anxiety, and see the faintest hue of an orange light illuminating from the park across the road. It would be a pretty sight if it weren’t for the chittering sounds of hell around you attacking the weakest cranial nerves.
“There.” You point, everyone turning their heads.
“Erica.” Steve confirms, giving you a nod as you all quickly run over to the spot, careful not to draw attention to yourselves.
Once you reach the slide, Steve turns to check everyone is with him, doing a double take when he sees Robin smiling up at him. You tighten your lips.
“What?” He whispers at her and she gives him a shit-eating grin.
“Nothing.” She responds, moving away with a laugh. Steve sends you a questioning look and you simply shake your head.
“We’re here.” Nancy calls out to the glow of Erica’s presence, the light flashing off for a moment to signal understanding.
“Now we wait.” Steve nods and you hold your breath.
Because you were all waiting for Vecna to take the bait, and possess your little sister’s mind.
“She deserves better”
Your head snaps to the figure stood behind you, heartbeat quickening at the sight.
“I thought sisters were meant to protect eachother.” Billy snarls, blood staining his mouth and chin, dripping onto his shirt with each spit of word.
You try to ignore him, turning back around and focusing on the house, your friends oblivious as they stood just in front, eyes on the light from the playhouse.
“Seven years later, and you’re still abandoning her.”
His words were hot against your ear, Billy leaning in and causing a tear drop to fall from your eye. It sent fear-stricken shivers down your spine, paralysing you in the moment.
“And now she’s mine”
You turn your head with wide eyes to see Vecna’s sinister smile vanish into thin air, the cold around you hitting your skin with malicious intent.
...she’s in… phase three…
Erica’s voice snapped you into focus and you shiver the terror you felt. Max had done her part, and it left an aching feeling where your heart should be. Vecna was taunting you with her life and, if you failed, her death.
“She’s in. Move on to Phase Three.” Robin spoke into the radio, sending you a sympathetic smile.
“Copy that. Initiating Phase Three.” Dustin responds and you shake away your nerves.
Eddie and Dustin would be fine. They just need to draw the bats away, and barricade themselves in. As easy as that.
“How do you think they’re gonna distract them?” Robin asks and Nancy shrugs, both girls turning to you.
“Uh… knowing Eddie?” You furrow your brows, eyes drifting to the guitar pick dangling from your chain. “Probably something-”
Suddenly, an echo of electric guitar beats through the air, loud enough to pierce the ear drums of those closest if they weren’t used to the sound, and a smile creeps onto your lips.
“… Metal.” You conclude and Steve frowns, shaking his head. You send a knowing glance, “It’s Master of Puppets. Metallica.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Steve nods, forehead still creased, “I knew that.”
“Liar.” Nancy smirks, attention drifting away as something catches her eye, “Look, it’s working.”
You all look to the Creel House and, sure enough, the bats start flying towards the noise, screeches haunting the breeze as they left the house unguarded.
“Okay, let’s go.” Steve starts moving towards the entrance, each of you following close behind.
The pounding in your head seems to become louder the closer you come to the house, every part of you screaming to run. The headphones that lay around your neck didn’t provide much comfort.
“Maybe you should wait outside.”
Nancy’s voice caused you stop and turn with a frown, glancing at Steve and Robin still making their way up the path.
“Why?”
“We… we need a lookout.” She shrugs, but her words weren’t convincing.
“Okay, what’s going on?” You ask and she freezes. “You’ve been acting weird about me coming down here with you guys this whole time.”
“I’m worried about Vecna getting into your head. Sorry for being a good friend.” Nancy retorts, moving past you, but you grab her arm.
“No, that’s not it.” You shake your head, stepping closer to her. “I know that’s not it because I know you. And you’re not convincing me. I’m coming with you.”
“No, just stay!” She starts to yell and you raise your eyebrows.
“It’s not your choice.” You sigh, heading up the path to the house.
“You can’t!” She begs and you turn around, exasperated. There was a fear in her eye you hadn’t seen since the Demogorgon attack, the way she had looked at you when you finally came to.
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“Because? I’m gonna need more than a because to stop me from-”
“Because you die!”
Nancy tear-laced eyes stared back at your frozen body, the icy feeling of shock prickling at your blood.
“What?” You eventually whisper out, the quiet tone of your voice sounding foreign to your ears.
“Vecna… he showed me.” Her voice is quiet and trembling, twitches of her head as she tries to shake off the memory. “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to believe it, but… if you do this… it’s gonna come true.”
You glance back at the red sky above, taking a deep breath. Every flicker of thunder was fitting with the storm in your mind. You were torn, battling the idea of life and death. Something had to give eventually, you supposed.
She takes your silence as an opportunity to continue. “When we go in there, you and Vecna-”
“Stop.” You interrupt with closed eyes and she frowns. “I don’t wanna know.”
Her face falls. “But-”
“But nothing.” You shrug, lowering your head and stepping closer, placing your hands on her shoulders. “I’m doing this, Nance. Even if I… even if it resorts to that. I don’t need to know how it happens, and there’s a big chance it won’t. But I’m going to do whatever it takes to protect everyone. And there is seriously nothing you could warn me about that is going to stop me from going in there and killing Vecna. Live and succeed... or die trying.”
She wipes away her tears, glancing at where Steve and Robin waited with confused frowns.
“I don’t want to lose you.” She shivered from her own words and you take her hand in yours.
“I need to do this.” You slowly nod, sadness threatening your eyes. “Please, Nance. You have to let me do this.”
She doesn’t reply. Instead, she tightens her grip on your hand and allows you to walk her towards Steve and Robin, head hung low. Even with Nancy’s warning, you weren’t changing your mind. This was as much your fight as it was hers, even more so. For four years you’ve had him in your head, ruining your life. It was time to return the favour.
“We ready?” Steve asks, looking to each of you. Nancy doesn’t speak, dropping your hand to adjust her bag, and Steve’s gaze flickers between you both, sensing some kind of discomfort.
“No.” Robin replies with a shrug and you shake your head.
“Just like knocking on hell’s door.” You comment once Steve pushes the entrance open, a loud creak sending chills down your spine.
Nancy’s words replay in your mind.
You die. You die. You die.
But Vecna hadn’t managed to kill you for four years. What could possibly make this night any different?
Everyone’s eyebrows raised as you looked down at the tangle of vines covering every surface. A maze of nightmares. Steve sends you a look before taking a deep breath, navigating his way through while desperately trying to maintain his balance.
“Shit.”
You move forward when Robin suddenly grabs your hand. Turning back, you notice she’s done the same with Nancy and you squeeze her hand.
“It’s okay.” Nancy comforts, nodding, “You got this.”
“Just one step at a time, right?” You add and Robin takes a deep breath. “Just follow me, okay?”
You let go of her hand and start leading her through the vines, her following suit and only stepping in your invisible footprints.
Steve led you all up the stairs, everyone’s eyes plastered to the ground. One wrong shift of your feet, and it would all be over. You join Steve at the top, glancing behind you to see Robin slowly but surely making her way up the staircase.
In front of you, the blare of red light shone onto a wall, letting you know Vecna was quite literally just around the corner.
“You ready for this?” Steve whispers. When you glance up at him, you notice the scared frown on his face, the tightening of his lips, and you gently squeeze his hand with a nod.
“We stick to the plan.” You whisper back and he lets out a long sigh, looking down at you and meeting your eyes. “Then you can take me out on that date that most definitely won’t be at Skull Rock.”
“There go my weekend plans.” He sighs and you playfully shove his shoulder. When you reluctantly let go of his hand, your fingertips yearn for that warmth again, that safety.
He smiles at your small laugh just as you hear the pants of Robin behind you.
She grabs onto your shoulders to steady herself, breathing quickly and you pat the top of her hands in comfort.
Once Nancy joins you, you swiftly take the flashlight from her hand as she slips the shotgun from her back, preparing herself. Beside you, Steve arms himself with an axe while Robin puts away her light, readying her bag full of chemicals.
“Let’s do this.” Nancy nods, voice steady and you all share looks.
It was now or never.
But, as you look back to the beating crimson glow, your heart stops. Because, in that moment, Lillian stares back at you with a bloodthirsty glare.
“You didn’t think it would be this easy, did you?”
Vecna’s voice blared in your mind, striking a chill down your spine. He was watching you, this entire time. He knew you were coming.
The others step forward and you snap back into reality, reaching out to them.
“Wait-” You start before the ground suddenly shakes so violently, you all crash into eachother.
Everyone holds on for support, desperately attempting to avoid the vines touching their feet from the shivering house. You make sure to grab Robin’s arm, holding her up as Steve does the same. Nancy balances by herself, holding her breath. The rumbling causes the house to crack, dust falling from the ceiling and decorating your hair with the particles.
Soon, to your relief, the ground stills and you all pant, looking to eachother. Nancy’s eyes find yours, questioning.
“Vecna knows.” You breathe out and her blue eyes widen.
“Are you sure?” She asks, Steve frowning.
“I think me coming here was a big mistake.” You admit with a small sob.
“No, it’s okay.” Robin places a hand on your shoulder, “He may know we’re here, but he’s still vulnerable.”
She nods at you until you agree.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re…”
Your voice drifts just as goosebumps lace your skin, quickening your breath. You search the room for what could have caused it, the Mind Flayer obviously alerting you to danger.
“What?” Steve whispers at you as your eyes dart around the space, “What is it?”
“Something’s-” You start before you see it. It’s a slippery movement, barely noticeable.
And you notice it too late.
“Robin!”
You try and pull her away, but the vine has already wrapped around her ankle, pulling her back and throwing her against the wall.
Stumbling back, you watch as the vines continuously wrap around her body, pinning her back, tightening her chest.
“Y/n!” She screams, but you can’t move.
“You should have stayed away”
Vecna taunts just before a loud screech is seared into your brain, making you groan and drop to your knees in pain.
As Nancy attacks the vines wrapping around Robin’s limbs, Steve crouches beside you, searching your face.
“Y/n?!” He panics and you shake your head, hands trembling.
“Robin!” You plead and he tightens the grip on his axe, standing up with reluctance and running over to help.
Nancy and Steve both try and try to break your friend free while your head swarms with stabs of indescribable hurt. You push through it, standing up just as a tingling sensation rests upon your fingertips.
Reaching out your arm, you manage to burst a vine and Steve turns with wide eyes. He didn’t want you to use your power, but you had no choice.
In his moment of distraction, a vine shoots out and wraps around his arm, pulling him back against the wall behind you.
“Steve!” You yell just as one wraps around his throat, pulling him higher up the surface and Nancy turns to look in horror.
It leaves you and Nancy struggling to focus, unsure of how to help your friends, their choked gasps rushing the beating of your hearts.
Her eyes eventually find yours in silent fear before she’s thrown to the ground and you cry out as she joins the others. You focus on the vine attacking her as she struggles against it, another screech from the creature as it bursts.
But another comes after another and you realise you can’t save them.
“No!” You let out a choked sob as your friends are being strangled to death.
You focus your mind, hands outstretched until you can almost hear the familiar whir of dust filling the air around you. Black veins began to taint your skin. Just a second longer, and you would have set them free.
But Vecna had other plans.
“Y/N!” Nancy cries and you freeze, looking down to see dozens of vines below your feet suddenly crawl up your legs.
You give them all one last look, tears lacing your eyes, just as the vines tug you down to the floor.
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You can hear their muffled screams as you’re dragged across the ground and towards the beating heart of the Creel House, the restraints throwing you against walls and corners as it pulled you through the building.
Bruises surely lined your body as you’re thrown away, rolling across the ground as you cough, panting for breath.
There’s a moment of fear that numbs your body when you raise your head.
Vecna stares down at you, detaching himself from what you could only assume was his source of power, stepping towards you. You frown. That wasn’t meant to happen.
“I finally figured out how to beat you” He says, the dark voice making you scramble back.
He viciously throws his arm out and suspends you in the air, the force hard enough to almost crush your bones, and you cry out in pain.
“You think I don’t see what you’re doing?”
The grip becomes tighter, and you can’t breathe.
“You think I don’t see everything?”
Suddenly, your head is thrown back, burning images in your mind.
“You thought your friends could stop me?”
Nancy, Steve, and Robin, pinned against the walls, crying for air.
Lucas, Jason pointing a gun straight at him.
Max, struggling to escape.
Eddie, prey to the dozens of bats circling him.
“I can feel them dying”
Tears stream down your cheeks. The pain, the fear. It all burned.
“And I know you can, too”
You open your eyes to his tilted head, his milky white eyes glaring into yours.
“After all this time” He begins, stepping closer while you gasp for air, “You underestimate me”
no
He smiles at you as you hear it, the echo of your sister’s whimpers. He had Max at this very moment.
You shake your head. This wasn’t possible. He was meant to-
“Be vulnerable?” He finishes your thought, lowering you to meet his eyes and leaning close, “The only person you made vulnerable… was you”
Your eyes widen and he smirks menacingly at you.
Putting Max in danger, making Eddie and Dustin face the bats, coming here with Steve, Robin and Nancy. All of it was chipping away at your insecurities, the anxiety forming their own undeniable tear of weakness.
You were unknowingly breaking down your shields without even knowing it. That’s why Vecna never tried to stop you. He was the one leading you into a false sense of security.
With the jut of his chin, the headphones around your neck snapped in half, smashing into a pile with your Walkman on the floor.
Closing your eyes, you try to will the Mind Flayer back to you. If you could just summon it, and break free from Vecna, you could save your friends and carry out the original plan. It wouldn’t take much, just a slither of black dust to push you away-
“What are you doing?”
You reluctantly open your eyes to see Lillian smiling at you. Your feet were firmly planted on the floor now, stood in a black void with your dead best friend.
“Not again.” You whimper, searching the darkness for any kind of light.
“What’s wrong?” Lillian asks, her voice just as sweet and innocent as the girl you used to remember. But she wasn’t real.
“What’s wrong?”
Your eyes widen in horror as blood begins to run down her face, half of her skull caving in. She reaches a hand out to you, her limbs shaking and her voice warped with a strangled sound.
“Y/n. What’s wrong?”
You try and run from the vision, selecting a direction and letting your feet take you as far as you can. Echoing vibrations of your footsteps cloud your ears and you glance behind you to see that she’s gone.
Slowing to a stop, you take a deep breath. You’d broken out of Vecna’s trances before. You could do it again.
“Leaving again?”
The voice came from behind you, prompting you to spin around and squint into the darkness, unable to make out the silhouette in the distance. You didn’t need to.
In an instant, they were barely a breath away from your face, and you were staring at the reflection of yourself in someone else’s glasses, kind eyes and freckles staring back.
“Barb.” You breathlessly sob, stepping back. She tilts her head at you, curls shaking with the movement.
“You always leave.” Barb sighs, gaze drifting down to her hands. You follow her action, watching as her hand slowly slices open, blood pouring from the wound.
The night she died, cutting her hand from a stupid dare and unknowingly luring a Demogorgon to the pool. She would have been okay if you didn’t leave her.
A tear slips down your cheek before you look back up at her. But Barb was frozen, covered in water, her ginger hair clung to her features. Then, she let out a stomach-churning scream.
Stumbling back, you looked away just as the skin started to peel from her body.
Your back hit something warm, and you yelp, someone spinning you around to face them and holding your arms. Your heart wrenched.
“Why didn’t you save me?” Billy’s face streamed with tears, looking down at you with such sorrow.
There was no use arguing, or begging for forgiveness. It’s not real, Y/n.
You weren’t letting Vecna get to you.
Billy’s grip on your arms tighten and he starts to walk you backwards, slamming you against an invisible wall and you cry out.
“Why didn’t you save me?!” He shouts, before a vine suddenly shoots out and pierces his chest.
You scream as he is pulled into the darkness, your body dropping down. Vecna gave you little time to acknowledge anything that was happening.
“Should have called, kid.”
Shaking your head, you refuse to turn around. Instead, you scramble to your feet and start running again. You didn’t get far.
A fiery blast knocks you off your feet and you cough against the smoke, rolling onto your side to see Jack emerge from the dark. He smiles down at you, but it isn’t the same warm gaze you were accustomed to.
He reaches his hand down, and you scramble away.
“Why didn’t you just call?” Jack’s voice becomes rougher, your efforts of escape useless when he matches your pace, towering over you.
He was in the mall that night because of you. Because you didn’t call. In the chaos, you hadn’t even thought about Jack, about how worried he must have been when you missed dinner. He came to the mall to make sure you were okay, and then he took a bullet to the chest.
His blood drips down onto you as his shirt spreads a crimson colour across his torso.
“So much for family.” Jack growls just as his body goes up in flames, scorching the skin and your arms cross in front of your head, squeezing your eyes shut.
Then came the deafening silence.
Pushing yourself to your feet, you await Vecna’s return, for the darkness to become a red hue of floating debris. It never did.
Instead, you feel a tremor beneath your feet. It was small at first, barely noticeable. And then it grew, causing you to attempt to balance, knowing that you had nothing around you to keep you upright.
Suddenly, it stopped, and you were left confused. Another step, and a crunch echoed below you. You look down, your shoe covered in dirt.
Wind began to whistle past your ears, goosebumps lining your skin. In the distance, a statue of an angel. Your breath hitches.
You were at the graveyard.
It was the same spot you had been with your sister, Billy’s headstone by your feet. But it wasn’t alone.
The stone was covered in dust and moss, prompting you to crouch beside it and start tearing it away. One half read ‘Mayfield’, and your stomach churned. You figured Vecna would bring Max into this; he knew exactly what you feared. To lose her, would be to lose everything.
In anger, you rip the rest of the moss, throwing it behind you and tilting your head up to the sky, tears threatening your eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time tonight.
A flash of red lightning burned into the sky and you flinched, steadying yourself on the dirt. Vecna was trying everything to break into your mind, to have you submit. His mistake was showing you the very thing you were fighting so hard to avoid. It just reminded you why you would never let him win.
“Come on, asshole.” You mutter, standing up and searching the graveyard. You raise your voice. “You hear me?! Come out and face me!”
Another strike of lightning reflects against the stone you had uncovered and you let out a bitter laugh.
“You think that’s gonna scare me?!” You yell, fists clenching. “You think that is gonna make me weak? That it’s gonna…”
It wasn’t Max’s grave.
The engraved writing didn’t match her name.
You stand above it, staring down at the stone with a frown.
‘Y/n Mayfield’.
You die. That was what Nancy had said before you set foot into the house, before you were dragged away from your friends. You die. That was what Vecna was taunting you with, promising your end.
Something shifted, to see your own grave beneath your feet. You notice the bare presentation of it, every other headstone covered with flowers and pictures. Yours was practically collecting dust. Because death had rendered you alone.
Vecna finally found your weakness.
A hand shoots up from the dirt, grabbing at your foot and you scream, struggling against its grip. Another hand, and it’s crawling from the grave.
One final tug, and you’re free, falling back as the graveyard crumbles around you, falling, falling, falling…
A gasp from your lips and you first thing you feel is your damp upper lip. The next, is the weight on your bones. You look down to see Vecna’s milky eyes staring up at you with interest, your feet barely brushing the floor.
“You…” You try to speak and, after a second, he loosens his grip and you take in a deep breath, still unable to move, “You can’t get into my mind. I won’t let you.”
“It was never the barriers of your mind I needed to break” He growls and you watch in horror as he raises his left hand.
But, rather than hover over your head, he brings one claw down and you cry as it digs into your cheek, drawing blood.
“Ever since you came back here, I haven’t been able to get this close” Vecna drags the claw down to your jawline as you cry, the burning sensation followed by the trickle of blood down your neck.
The very first vision you had by the lake, the first time you saw Vecna…
Red and raw skin stretched out into vines that wrapped around their body, one abnormally long arm reaching out, claws barely touching your face when they suddenly pull away. You don’t know why, but you can feel it. It was like there was still some kind of barrier between you both.
You had overlooked it, thinking nothing of the possibility that he could never physically kill you.
And now, as he stares deep into your eyes, poisoning your soul, you realise that this is what he wanted all along.
You die. Nancy’s words were echoing in your mind. She was right.
“El will find a way to kill you.” You spat and he seems surprised before anger takes over, lowering his head and glaring up at you.
“You won’t be here to find out”
A frown appears on your face just before a choked gasp leaves your lips.
Tick, tick, tick, tick…
His blood-curdling smile haunts your mind as something trickles from your mouth.
You’re too focused on the flickering image of a grandfather clock, cracking glass echoing behind your eyes, to know what Vecna had done.
Looking down, a tear slipping down your cheek, you see his claws had been plunged into your stomach and struck up to puncture your lungs.
Tick, tick, tick, tick...
When you finally drop to the floor, you struggle to breathe, only ever choking up blood as Vecna stares down at you. The look of victory.
For some reason, he stumbles back, almost doubling over as the vines reach out and pull him back to the centre of the attic. But you don’t have any time to wonder what was happening, to know about the battle currently happening in his mind.
Tick, tick, tick, tick...
The pool of red beneath you grew bigger and bigger. Tears streamed from your eyes as your vision was darkening.
After all you’ve done, all you tried to do, you were going to die.
Alone.
Tick, tick, tick, tick...
They lied. Whoever claimed that in your final moments your life would flash before your eyes, they were wrong. Instead, you were met with the paralysing fear of reality, desperately grasping at memories of the people you would leave behind.
Life didn’t flash before your eyes. Regret did.
Steve wasn’t here to save you. You wouldn’t be celebrating with him when it was all over. You will never experience the day he had planned for you, to undoubtedly make you believe you would end up at Skull Rock and remove the blindfold on your eyes to a picnic by the lake. You’ll never know the feeling of being loved unconditionally by a boy that had known the real you since day one.
Nancy and Robin weren’t here to hold your hand. You wouldn’t be sharing secrets, or hyping Robin up as she approached Vickie. You and Nancy will never get to spend the lost years of your friendship together, and you won’t ever be Robin’s safety net again. You’ll never spare Nancy the pain of having to tell Jonathan that you were no longer with them, that you’ll never see him again.
Eddie wasn’t here to flash you a grin when you woke up, claiming how ‘metal’ you had been. You will never get to join his campaigns, or help him study so he can finally graduate. You and Eddie will never be the friends you were destined to be.
Dustin wasn’t here to find help, to yell at you for ever almost leaving him like that. El wouldn’t get to come to you for advice, and you will never see Lucas at a basketball game. You won’t provide Mike and Will with a place to stay when their families felt too suffocating. You’ll never help any of them get their licenses after one too many life-threatening experiences in a test-drive. You won’t see the Party become adults.
Max wasn’t here to beg you to fight. You won’t travel the world together, or mock eachother’s love lives, or even complain when she stole your clothes that ‘looked cooler on her anyway’. You’ll never be a family again.
No. You won’t experience any of that.
They would find you like this, broken and beaten. The very last image of a girl that couldn’t save herself from the inevitable.
Tick, tick, tick, tick...
The final breath left your lips before you even realised it was your last, just as you felt the vibration of footsteps echo across the floor until they became so faint you couldn’t feel anything at all.
You were just… fading away. A countdown in the back of your mind letting you know that in this moment, your time was finally up.
.......tick.......
.............tick.............
...................tick...................
.........................tick.........................
Then nothing.
Chapter 21: The Final Chime ->
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[A/N: um. i just- well, you see... *cries at her own writing*]
taglist: @gnnnne / @beepisbeep / @paintballkid711 / @eddiesbirdie / @livasaurasrex / @darktimelegends / @jackierose902109 / @mvrylee / @chervbs / @eternallyvenus / @nervouscatsuit / @f1nn-wolfhard / @hereiamhereigo / @ladybug0095 / @fangirling-4-ever / @astrolockley / @mothmanatemycat / @sheisjoeschateau / @champagnejoker / @umidktbh / @fallinginlovewithqueue / @ilovetaylorswift132006 / @live-the-fangirl-life / @sadbitchfangirl / @cherrymedicine13 / @engenelxver / @sagaonpandora /
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wispsofwhimsy · 5 months
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okay. okay. okay. I am going to be brave and talk about my own fic on my own blog, the thing I made for the purpose of talking about my own fic.
So here is the basic rundown of the background of my fic-verse so that any lore posts I want to make about it will have context. I’m going to refer to this AU as the time!verse because it’s thematically fitting and also just… in the title of the fic so it makes the most sense. All that said:
In this verse, the movie runs identically up until the scene where Neteyam dies, because Neteyam does not die. The shot missed him, we’re all good, hooray. The rest of the movies’ events proceed very close to what happened before. The only major change besides Neteyam not dying is that Jake and Quaritch don’t have their big fight, so Spider doesn’t ever save Quaritch from drowning. The scene with Neytiri and the knife and Kiri being captured still happens, because angst.
There was a short period of time after the end of the movie where everything was as fantastic as it could be. A few days, and then Spider remembers there’s a tracker in his mask. He freaks out and destroys it and then tells Tonowari and Jake but he knows the damage was already done. They know it as well, and just end up having to say well, fingers crossed I guess. A couple more days pass, the tracker is destroyed, and nothing happens and everyone starts to calm down about it and think maybe the RDA assumed Spider was dead and wasn’t watching his tracker or who knows what.
After somewhere around a total of two weeks after the end of the movie, the Metkayina decide to go on a mass raid on an RDA ship that was spotted in the region. Almost everyone goes. Only the non-combatants, kids, and Na’vi too old to fight stay behind. And Spider, because he’s human.
The RDA ship is a trap. As soon as the Metkayina are fully occupied with the assault, there’s a revenge attack on the village. Spider calls Jake on the radio for backup and comes up with a plan to hide all the most vulnerable in the water with the Tulkun and have the teenagers and elders with at least some warrior training stand defense until the warriors get back.
Kiri tries to stand on the beach and talk the attackers down, mostly to distract and buy time because the Metkayina are returning as fast as they possibly can. A mech driver kills her quite brutally, and Spider gets to the beach only just in time to watch it happen and do nothing more.
Only a couple minutes later the Metkayina return in full force. There were only a handful of attackers, mech-drivers and recoms, so the returning Na’vi are easily able to take them out, but there’s already been casualties and carnage. Spider is distraught over Kiri’s dead body, and who gets to him first but Neytiri.
Neytiri is absolutely gutted and has a very clear target to take out her grief on. She accuses Spider of it being his fault, both for having the tracker in his mask and not destroying it sooner so the recoms knew where to find them, and for not saving Kiri, and Spider is already blaming himself, so that makes it much much worse. Neytiri drives him away from Kiri’s body just as other Sullys are showing up, and Spider runs inland.
In the mindset of having his best friend murdered in front of him and believing it all to directly be his fault, Spider runs into Quaritch in the forest. At first he’s beyond enraged at him, but Quaritch pretends to have no clue what’s happening, why Spider is upset, and claims he was sent to track down a rogue party that has left the ship. Spider spills the beans about what happened and Quaritch tells him to come with him, that they’d get the deserters punished. Spider agrees.
(The truth of the matter is that they were deserters, but Quaritch was one of them. He convinced a group, most thinking they were acting legitly with only the remaining recoms knowing it was without orders, to leave the ship that was salvaging the wreckage of the fight and go stage an attack on Awa’atlu because he figured that the Na’vi wouldn’t be able to resist the nearby target. His goal was to scare Jake and the Metkayina, get Spider back, and maybe get in somebody’s good graces after his major failure by hauling back some ‘traitors’ with the help of the other recoms. He didn’t expect them to take all their warriors and leave the village pretty much defenseless, he didn’t think Jake was stupid enough to do that, but Jake didn’t think the RDA would go so far as to attack defenseless innocents because of how bad it would make the RDA look, not to mention they weren’t far and could get back quickly if there was trouble, and the Na’vi wouldn’t even think of attacking a camp of the defenseless so they didn’t think to leave anyone behind either. The mistake of not leaving any defenders behind is never made again, but too late for Kiri.)
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mask131 · 1 year
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Roman gods are not Greek gods: Mars
MARS
To start this series, I think the best deity to exemplify the difference between Greek and Roman gods is Mars, the Roman equivalent of Ares.
Everybody knows Ares. The cruel and bloodthirsty god of war, a deity who enjoys bloodbaths and massacres, the twin brother of strife and discord, the father of terror and panic, an embodiment of brutality and violence existing to oppose the most rational, civilized, intelligent and honorable form of war practiced by Athena, deity of strategy, peace and wisdom.
And yet, when you look at Mars, over in Rome… While he is indeed a god of war, like Ares, he has absolutely none of the “dark” or “ugly” sides of Ares. He isn’t a brute, he isn’t mindless, he isn’t a god of carnage feared by all. He isn’t a god of destruction. In fact, he is the sole embodiment of the “good war”. All of Athena’s symbolism as the “goddess of the right way to wage war” can be found in Mars, and all of Ares’ symbolism as the “god of the wrong way to wage war” is thrown out of the window, nowhere to be seen. The reason why is in my general introduction: the Romans were soldiers at heart. Roman culture was a military culture. Waging war and sending legions to conquer their neighbors was how Rome asserted itself as a great power, how the city-state grew into an empire, how the Romans built themselves as people. The army was the main way to maintain order and control in the various provinces of the Empire ; being a soldier was one of the most common careers of a Roman, and the military hierarchy was just a common way of climbing the social ladder ; a part of the nobility of Rome was of military origins. War was a big, big thing for Ancient Rome – and as a result they did not had any “negative” view of war (unlike the Greeks who constantly lived in the fear of both barbarian invasions and civil war among themselves). For them, a god of war would be the god that helped their culture affirm itself, that helped their empire grow, that was present in their everyday life, that maintained order in their lands and that helped structure their very society. And this is why Mars is a “good” god of war, unlike Ares.
To illustrate this, the cult of Mars was heavily centered around shields – showing that he embodied a war and a military supposed to protect as much as it should attack. He was a god that generals prayed to before going on any military campaign, offerings were given to him before any battle, and if the Romans were victorious it was him they thanked. In fact, Mars was often depicted in the company of personifications of victory, such as Victoria or Vitula. Yes, he was also escorted by deities that inflicted terror on his enemies, similar to the Greek Phobos and Deimos (here Pavor and Pallor), but he also counted among his companion allegories such as Honor or Virtus – the very concept of honor and courage, for Mars was a god of bravery and the keeper of the moral code of warriors. His war was one of virtue and discipline, not of chaos and wickedness.
But this is all just one of the two main aspects of Mars – the other being… flowers. Yep. A flower god. Now we’re really not in Kansas anymore – you imagine Ares as a god of flowers? As I said in my general introduction, the Romans were primarily “farmer-soldiers”, with a very… rustic and agricultural pantheon before the massive Hellenization. And Mars is the “perfect” Roman god because he literally has both sides: a god of war and a god of plants. In his “primitive”, more Latin incarnation, Mars started out as a protector of vegetation and a deity making sure that nature flourished – his festivals were during the third month of the year, the month of March (named after him) and coincided with the opening of the tree-buds and the apparition of the first flowers, making him a god of spring.
While he lost most of his agricultural functions to Ceres and Liber Pater as Rome became a much more military nation, he still kept several traits of his primal characterization – for example his old epithet “Gradivus”, originally tied to “grandiri” (to grow, to become tall) was reinterpreted as tied to “gradi, gradus” (to march, to step) and from a god helping plants grow he became the god of the marching soldiers, aka infantrymen – it was on Mars Gradivus that generals and soldiers swore an oath to be valorous in battle. There is also how soldier’s prayers for Mars to protect their weapons and blade from “rust” originated as prayers by farmers to have their wheat protected from another type of “rust”, a special type of wheat fungus. The fact he was celebrated in spring became more than just a celebration of him “waking up” nature and giving back life to strength and plants – he was also perceived as “waking up” bravery and courage in men’s hearts. Because, with the end of winter, battles and military operations could start again (they were usually “paused” during the winter). And thus “war and prosperity” became seen by the Romans as just two sides of the same coin, and spring as the season of both flowers and soldiers. Mars was perceived as the god of “virility”, and for the Romans virility was as much a social virtue AND the very concept of life force – virility was the way a soldier or general had to be, but it was also virility that helped crops grow and that helped create plants.
A last interesting way the two sides of Mars were united is through his spear. Mars’ iconic weapon was his spear (the two items of his military cult were the shield and the spear) – and often said spear was depicted as wrapped in laurel garlands. While originally a symbol reflecting his role as a vegetation god, the idea of garlands of leaves and flowers became associated with victory in battle and peace after war – which is why for example a crown of laurel became a symbol of a champion, winner or conquerer in Rome.
  Other important facts about Mars:  
# Mars had a very important role in Roman history, and was thus seen as one of the “ancestor” gods of the Roman civilization. He was said to have been the father of Romulus and Remus, the brothers who actually built the city of Rome ; and he helped the second legendary king of Rome, Numa Pompilius, by offering him a magical shield that was tied to Rome’s fate and would help protect the city as long as it stayed undamaged. This important role led to him being actually called “father” in religion: Mars Pater, Father Mars (which is a name also present in earlier incarnation of the god as “Marspiter” or “Maspiter”).
# In fact, Mars was one of the most prominent and important Roman gods, with temples present everywhere. It is said that he was one of the gods of the “archaic triad” (the triad of main gods of early Roman religion), alongside Jupiter (imagine: Mars was equal to Jupiter!) and a purely Roman deity known as “Quirinus”. What is slightly confusing however is that while sometimes Quirinus and Mars are treated as separate, other times they are treated as one of the same: “Mars Quirinus” was one of the aspects of Mars, as the god of the “quirites” (citizens of Rome), the protector of Rome’s civilians, as well as the keeper of treaties and oaths ensuring peace as a whole.  
# Ovid actually gave Mars a birth legend that was the one of Hephaistos in the Hesiodic tradition: Juno/Hera, jealous of seeing Jupiter/Zeus giving birth to a child on his own (Minerva/Athena), decided in retaliation to also give birth to a child on her own. But unlike Hesiod’s Theogony where Hera worked on her own and the result was an imperfect, deformed baby ; in Ovid’s tales, Juno asked for the help of the goddess Flora, who offered her a magical flower that impregnated the goddess and led to the birth of Mars. (This legend furthers highlights the “vegetation” aspect of Mars).
# While March became the “third month” of the Roman calendar, with the month of January (named after the god Janus) marking the new year ; originally March was the first month of the early Roman calendar, and on the first day of this month (so the first day of the year) was celebrated the Matronalia, a festival of mother and married women centered around Juno. It was also thought to be the day Juno gave birth to Mars. Thus, the birth of Mars, god of vegetation, from the mother-goddess, by a magical flower, was the original opening of the Roman year – a year which, as you can see, in the agricultural lifestyle of early Romans was entirely centered around nature, beginning with the rebirth of vegetation and ending with the “death” of plants in winter.
# While Ares’ sacred animals reflected his nastier side (the destructive boar blinded by rage, the corpse-eating vulture), Mars’ sacred animals were the woodpecker, the bear and the wolf. The latter was very important – a she-wolf nursed Romulus and Remus, Rome’s founders, as babes, and thus the wolf became the symbol of the “nurse and nurturer” of Rome, it became the animal of the defense of Rome, and the very representation of Rome itself.  
# Ares had a female divine companion, which was a purely Roman goddess and the main “warrior goddess” instead of Athena/Minerva – it was Bellona, goddess of war, sometimes said to be the sister, daughter or wife of Mars. But while she was the main war goddess of the Roman pantheon, she was not the equivalent of Athena at all – in fact, in a true ironic twist, Bellona was said to be a more brutal and savage deity than Mars, asking for mutilation and blood in her sacrifices, and being escorted by the Roman version of Eris (Discordia) and by the Furies (Roman Erynies). So overall, Bellona was more of a “true” equivalent of Ares, while Mars is more of an equivalent of Athena… Mars also had another consort-goddess which was sometimes equated with Bellona: Nerio, the personification of “valor” – and just like Mars, she had a dual nature as both embodying a social virtue, a form of “majestic power” (valor as we understand it today), and a manifestation of the vital force and life-power.
# As you can deduce from above – the whole thing of Mars and Venus being in love actually did not exist until the Hellenization of the Roman religion. It was then that the love story of Ares and Aphrodite was brought over, and forced upon the Roman gods, even though Mars and Venus had nothing to do together prior to that. However, while the Romans quickly adopted the Mars and Venus love, they kind of ditched a very important aspect of the Greek story: the adultery. It was present in the first manifestations of the Greek tale in Rome, but the Romans did not like to speak of such vile or unpleasant things like adultery (unlike rape for example, which Romans ADORED), and so it did not stick. This tale fascinated the poets, the artists, the philosophers, precisely because they adored the beauty and idea of Love and War being united as a couple, and so they refuse to have it be presented in a negative light like the Greek did. Ares and Aphrodite’s relationship wasn’t a love story, but an infidelity story almost turning into a grotesque farce – it was the Romans who romanticized and embellished Mars and Venus’ relationship into a beautiful love story, to the point that the two deities were implied or considered to be married to each other, and were seen as the ideal model for married couples. It helped that both were consider the “parent gods” of Rome, Mars as the “father” through Romulus/Remus, Venus as the “mother” through Aeneas. An interesting thing concerning the Mars-Venus relationship: in Roman depictions of the relationship, Venus is always presented in a dominating or leading position, while Mars is often shown in a submissive, relaxed, rested way, often disrobed, disarmed, if not outright nude or sleeping. As I said, the Mars-Venus relationship was heavily perceived through poetic and philosophical lenses, and as a result these depictions wanted to insist on how Love actually brings calm, peace and rest in War, allowing War to leave its weapons and abandon itself to pleasures and quietness.
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rocknrollsalad · 3 months
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🥦 A steddimas fake dating prompted drabble
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✌️ based off this post - rather than explain why she isn't dating steve and tell her parents she's a lesbian, robin says steve is dating a guy. they rope eddie into the ruse and have a family dinner with the buckleys.
🧑‍🤝‍🧑 content/trigger warnings: period typical homophobia (implied but the opposite is what happens)
🍽️ word count: 2,405
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“You guys can NOT mess this up for me!” Robin hissed, trying to keep her voice quiet as she backed the pair up against Steve’s car. 
Steve already had his hands raised in resignation. The white flag waving without a single need. Eddie, on the other hand, didn’t give up so quickly. No matter how many terrified lesbians waved their fingers in his face. This night was going to be an absolute trainwreck and Eddie was here to see the carnage. Even if it meant sacrificing himself in the process. 
“Tell me again how you two arrived at this plan,” Eddie said, purposely pouring gasoline on the fire. 
“Munson!” Robin’s finger flew to his face, centimeters from his nose. Steve pressed his lips together to not laugh. “I don’t want to hear the word ‘plan’ out of your mouth again. Not ‘scheme’ or ‘idea’ or ‘proposition’!” 
Eddie’s eyebrow quirked and he looked at Steve, mouthing “proposition” with a grin. Turning back to Robin he asked, “What about stratagem?” 
“NO!” she said, throwing her hands up and walking in a little circle. Muttering to herself “I don’t know why I asked these two. Hiring the actual Three Stooges would have been smarter. Is it too late to get Martin and Lewis? It’d be less of a mess.” 
“And probably gayer,” Eddie said. 
“Stop winding her up, man,” Steve asked, leaning closer to Eddie. 
“This is such a stupid plan. Somehow, with your combined brain power, you thought rather than coming out that it was easier to say Steve was gay? I mean, shout out to you for throwing your friend under a potential bus like that but wow.” 
“We’ve been over this, she didn’t throw me under the bus,” Steve hissed, trying to keep that from Robin. 
“No, she did. She took the risk that if her parents had any problem, you’d bear the brunt of it and she’d get off scot-free. Despite one of you actually having an interest in the same sex.” 
“Both of us,” Steve corrected. 
That was a shocking turn. One that hadn’t come up yet in all their round and round on the subject. Eddie blinked a few times and took that in. Good to know. “Alright, so the Hawkins branch of the Future Gays of America finally has enough members to hold meetings.” 
“This is serious,” Robin whined. 
“No it isn’t!” Eddie laughed. “It’s the opposite. The literal definition of a farce. If you wanted someone who was going to take this seriously, you should have said Byers was his boyfriend.”
“As if he’d agree to this,” Steve said in a way that made Eddie wonder if Jonathan’s name didn’t come up first. 
“Okay, look, how about you just not be you for one night? A nice normal night with my parents and I won’t complain about your bullshit for, like, a week,” Robin pleaded. She looked so desperate it was painful to watch. 
“A month,” Eddie countered. 
“Yeah, okay, or I won’t. I’ll get worse, actually.” 
Again, Steve stifled a laugh. 
Robin got mean when she was tense. Eddie didn’t need to learn that or whatever "worse" was. “Fine, I’ll take the week.” 
“Have you guys gone over your story?” Robin asked, pacing in front of them. 
“Yeah, a million times! Eddie’s had a crush on me since we were freshmen and this whole end-of-the-world thing brought us closer.” 
“Not my idea, mind you,” Eddie grumbled, hating how close to real life that was. Except for the actual dating part, of course. 
“Didn’t ask,” Robin sneered. 
Steve jabbed Eddie in the ribs, “We’re already here, we might as well do this.” 
“Awww but sugar plum, I just wanted to set the story straight on how I became the luckiest man in Hawkins, Indiana,” Eddie cooed. 
“We gotta cancel,” Robin said, deflating. 
Steve physically put himself in front of Eddie, arm outstretched, and ready to take a bullet for his fake boyfriend. Leaving Eddie equal parts offended and turned on. Maybe this came with all the perks of a date. 
“He’s just getting it out of his system now, Robin. Seriously. He’ll behave when we’re inside. Right?” 
“I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t going to nail the performance,” Eddie said. 
“Fine, let's get this over with,” she huffed, heading toward her house. 
“The chivalry,” Eddie whispered, doing his best overwhelmed damsel. Even fanning himself as he walked alongside his date. 
“Take it easy on Robin, please. It’s a stupid mess we’re in but we’d do the same for you.” 
Again, the chivalry was really working on Eddie. Something he didn't want to look too closely at. Yet not as much as knowing Steve was telling the truth. He could have asked either of them to pretend to be his date or help bury a body, they aren’t asking questions. They’re showing up with shovels. 
Steve was also right in that Eddie wasn’t going to be a pain in the ass inside, he’d long learned the art of charming parents. It wasn’t easy to get a club together when the leader was rumored to be a satanic cult leader so Eddie knew how to be anything but. 
Even after coming out of that insanity alive, even after seeing what demons are out there, and learning to be who he was but harder, Eddie was willing to hide that to help a friend. Robin wore pastels for him. Okay, it was more likely for Max but Eddie wasn’t going to split hairs. Not now, at least. 
Before Eddie could make any last snide comments, a woman he could only assume was Mrs. Buckley was in the doorway Robin had left open. 
“I just want to let you know how honored I am that you both feel safe enough to come here and be true selves. The hiding must be exhausting but know you’re always welcome here, any time,” She spoke softly, hands clasped at her waist until her speech finished and she pulled Steve in with one arm, Eddie with the other, and hugged them both while whispering thank yous. 
When they were released, Eddie took a side step closer to Steve in hopes some of that chivalry was still there and he could fend off any other weirdly validating hugs. Of all the things they were prepared for, Robin’s parents weren’t on the list. 
A heads up that they were walking into Woodstock would have been nice. If they wanted Eddie to behave, they shouldn't leave out major information. Eddie glared at Robin, trying his best to communicate that but she was busy settling the table and fussing with the flowers in the center. Or maybe they were weeds, Eddie wasn’t sure, they certainly weren’t answers to any of his questions. 
Steve didn’t step in front of Eddie to protect him but did swoop in with manners far more practiced than Eddie’s. Shaking Mr. Buckley’s hand and talking about how pleased he was to be invited for dinner. He introduced Eddie with enough pride and award-winning smiles that Eddie blushed and couldn’t find anything more to say than “thanks”. For what? It was anyone’s guess. 
Despite looking like he knew where the Grateful Dead was at this exact moment, Mr. Buckley sounded like a TV dad. With a clap of his hands, he said “I hope you boys like broccoli!” 
Eddie turned to Steve, almost asking for confirmation of his feelings about broccoli. As they followed the Buckleys into the dinner room, Steve rubbed a hand between Eddie’s shoulder blades. Leaning close he whispered. “You’ve gone too far the other way, do you need help walking? I’m not sure you can anymore.” 
“You didn’t wanna tell me they were hippies?” 
Steve swallowed a laugh. “Whoops.” 
“Fucking whoops,” Eddie whispered way too loudly. 
Robin glared at them and Eddie understood the Medusa myth a little more. Steve, as always, was unbothered. He was some corporate schmoozing machine, everyone loved him. It was disgusting and Eddie couldn’t wait to watch a whole night of it!
“He just realized we forgot to bring something, y’know, to thank you for the meal,” Steve supplied and Eddie and Robin visibly relaxed. 
“Steve, it’s fine. You know you don’t have to do that. You’re family here and, Lord knows, Robin didn’t bring anything,” Mrs. Buckley answered. 
“Well, then we’ll have to help with dishes,” Steve offered. It worked perfectly, Mrs. Buckley was over the moon while making dismissive sounds. Something between camp and swooning, Steve really had an effect on people. Though not just middle-aged women. Eddie was in love. He also wanted to barf. Not to mention figure out what would get him out of dish duty.
Steve's improvisational skills mixed with survival in a way that had Eddie wanting to get him into a campaign. To see what he could really do. The club would never go for it but that never stopped Eddie before.
They were immediately ushered into the dining room, which felt odd. Eddie hadn’t been to a lot of family dinners but he’d imagined a lot more sitting around and talking first. It was hours before his “dinner time” and he didn’t know people ate this early. 
On display in the center of the table was a large casserole dish, with some sort of goop in it. If Eddie had to guess it was something to do with cheese but he couldn’t get a good glimpse because the top was loaded with little broccoli florets. Each stuck in, lined up like crops, making it difficult to see the rest of the dish. 
When Eddie was asked if he liked broccoli, he hadn’t been expecting this. A side dish alongside a nice piece of chicken, maybe? An edible forest was unlike anything he’d been served before. Fear rose but there were baskets of bread, so Eddie wouldn’t go hungry. He did wonder if there was a dog around to pass a few trees too. 
“This has always been Robin’s favorite,” Mrs. Buckley explained, motioning to the forest resting in Pyrex. 
"But clear the room afterward," Mr. Buckley laughed, waving his hand in front of his nose.
Robin was bright red and hiding behind her hands. Eddie couldn’t help but wonder if Wayne would embarrass him like this if the tables were turned. The mental “yes” came quickly and with a flood of stories he could tell to have Eddie hiding behind his hands. It was all followed by a note to never invite these guys over to dinner. 
Attention focusing back on the Buckley’s, Eddie found himself watching as Steve pulled a chair out for him to sit. A simple gesture but something no one else had earned. His heart fluttered in a way he definitely needed to be ignored. This was all for show. It was for Robin’s parents so she could come out when she was ready. This was for Robin. 
This was for Robin. 
“I didn’t know we were going to be treated to Robin’s favorite dish,” Steve said with too much pride. The comment was dangerous and pushing a limit Eddie was told to steer clear of. A push only a best friend could get away with. However, Robin kicked him hard enough under the table that Eddie felt it, so he was glad it was Steve and not him. 
“Oh we’ve been making The Enchanted Broccoli Forest for her since she could have solid foods,” Mrs. Buckley supplied. 
Eddie couldn’t help but think, at this point, that telling her parents she liked to kiss girls was likely far less mortifying. She set this up and was doing nothing but losing. Meanwhile, Eddie, who had zero stakes in it, was winning. Twenty-one every hand here. 
As Mrs. Buckley served each of them a heaping scoop of…forest, Mr. Buckley asked the question they all knew was coming. “So how’d you two meet?” 
“One of his friends was having a pick-on-the-nerds sort of day, you know, and I was the winning nerd,” Eddie started talking, not sure where this was going. “I thought the arrival of more jocks meant I was losing my lunch money for sure but nope. Steve was all ‘you leave him alone’ and everything.” 
Steve and Robin wore matching looks, each trying to tape Eddie’s mouth shut with their mind. Then bury him in the basement. Eddie couldn’t blame them, either. He did his best to look apologetic and thankfully the story was eaten up better than the casserole. 
“So it was love at first sight from there?” 
“Daaa-ad!” Robin groaned. 
Ever the professional, Steve took over. “No, in fact, it took us three years to do anything about it. Which is kind of depressing but you can’t be too careful.” 
“That and our job kind of exploded in that time,” Robin finally joined the conversation like a willing participant. 
“True,” Steve said with a knowing nod. “It’s weird how much that got in the way of things.” 
“Y’know, I used to live on a commune and no one there got all that hung up on gender,” Mr. Buckley said, looking at his wife with a lifetime of stories known only to them. 
While the words upon arrival had been very affirming, that did more for Eddie and a soft smile sprouted. His shoulders relaxed and he felt like he’d got the first full breath into his lungs in hours. This had him more nervous than he’d let on. Not that it mattered now, the comfort was there. 
Steve rubbed a gentle hand on Eddie’s thigh, just enough to get his attention. Maybe earning their supper a little too well, Eddie nodded. He was okay. Robin’s parents had moved on to share the story of how they met, something Eddie was certain he should be listening to. How could he though? He’d had a half hour of the Steve Harrington experience and his future was permanently damaged. 
No wonder the girls at school were falling over themselves to be with Steve. Eddie was ready to fight these two old hippies just for being good hosts because it was cutting into this fake date. One where Steve paused things to make sure Eddie was okay and comforted him when things got weird. It was so over the top that it worked and was the most cared about Eddie had felt in a long while. 
As much as Eddie liked bickering with the guy and purposefully picking fights, he didn’t mind a bit of kindness it seemed. He also wanted to return it but had no idea how so it fluctuated between just doing what Steve had done minutes before and overthrowing a country for the man. 
Eddie had harbored a crush since Steve’s freshman year but tonight he fell for the man. Good thing their breakup had already been plotted. There was an end date to this show. Of all the dumb choices Eddie had made in his life, agreeing to this might be in the top ten. Working its way to the top five. But hey, he got a shit ton of broccoli out of the deal. 
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Alright, Cuyahoga “mending finally went to a full length show and will never stop talking about it” post show breakdown. Also my eye didnt attempt to blind me. And the weird voice thing I heard at bourbon and beyond was a weird festival amp thing that was not present here.
First: Cuyahoga is a stunning venue. Absolutely great. I don’t know how I lucked into face value seating so close and central to the stage but I did.
Second: katie pruitt has a new song that talks about wanting to be Superman and I cried as she was performing it for the first time, so good luck to us all when that’s released. Also, Out of the Blue was freaking incredible live. Her voice rocks.
And now for the meat and potatoes:
Starting with Stay Gentle is a war crime. Plain and simple. I think I’ve experienced every emotion possible listening to this song, so I did not cry at this point, but the swell of the strings when she sings “be amazed by the sky”. Also, the linked arm thing is cute.
Over the Rainbow: her voice. Overall what a mood set.
Broken Horses: hahahaha wtf. It absolutely rips. Also, went on a side quest to the rock and roll hall of fame and they have where she wrote the lyrics, and you can actually see where she gets more intense as her writing goes along.
Things I Regret: fun song and good little sneaky vocal warm up for Brandi. Also slaps. Very fun song.
You and Me on the Rock: boy she loves an amphitheater of her fans. Chauntee, Kyleen, and Monique have very tight harmonies now! And so fun seeing all the lesbians dance together.
The Story: RIPS. Absolute carnage. It takes a special talent and focus to sing a single song thousands of times and make it still sound special. But then at the end, this wild thing happened where the applause went on for two minutes? Just one of those magical live performance moments, but Brandi genuinely seemed touched and overwhelmed by it (for reasons we will get to later).
The Eye: see this is where they got me. I have never once in my entire life cried to this song. But tonight? Wtf. The harmonies are so good, and the lyrics are so pretty and so yeah, I cried. Tim and Phil are the goats. If they don’t get memorialized together when they make the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, I’ll riot.
After that cute moment I got emotionally assassinated: that’s right. It turns out cath and the kids are at home and one of the anniversaries was yesterday so Brandi has been in an extra “I’ve been touring all summer and now everyone’s at home without me funk.” And she referred to herself as a human casino thursday. So what does that mean?
It’s time for The Mother. Fuck my life. I cried. I thought about my mom, I thought about future kids. I thought about the gay parents in the audience. I can’t believe she did it. I think she’s performed it one other time this summer at a not solo show or special event. Was sure I was gonna live vicariously forever. But here we are in this new world where I’ve seen the mother performed live.
Acoustic mood? Sounds great. Now we’re gonna do Right on Time two ways (for real this time). ITCH was as great as on Thursday. But immediately followed by my first time hearing Right on Time (ITSD) which holy shit. Absolute banger. And vocally insane (featuring her demon laugh when she knows she’s just done something vocally wild).
Time to rip into My Song/they were too small of a band for U2 to nail them at the time for plagiarism but lol. She sings and performs this song in a way that makes her almost visibly time travel to being a sixteen year old busking her heart out.
Solidly into the rock part of the show? Wrong. It’s Mama Werewolf time. The concert version of it is perfect. It’s a perfect song and they sing it perfectly. Did not cry because I was emotionally exhausted at this point and could not dwell on the cyclic trauma of it all, but GD her and the twin harmonies.
So now foot’s off the pedal and we’re on cruise control right? Wrong. Because this is the moment I think the people surrounding me realized I am not a casual fan At All, the way I physically reacted to them playing the intro to Again Today. Another bucket list song checked off. Her voice. It’s just another “this song could end the whole concert and it’d be a great concert but this is Brandi carlile band so this is what our discography is like.” Fuck them, this song slaps, still mad it’s not a standalone track that I can loop.
Banger city now because it’s time for Raise Hell which absolutely blew the roof off the place. It was so loud and raucous at this point. Side note: but is insane that Raise Hell is so good and that the discography is so deep that it’s a special occasion now??? Anyway, no one has sat this whole show. I had been told we were a concert sitting people, but it seems like that era is over. People are bouncing, yelling, riled up… So naturally what song is next?
Remember this?
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Party of One. LMAO. This concert was sequenced by an insane person. But whatever, I got redemption to see it twice. And it was awesome. The applause for the string quartet went on forever. I cried. Standard stuff.
Mainstream Kid! With Katie Pruitt! That is a girl that spent a lot of time singing along to that track in her car during college. But it RIPPED. That voice combo is crazy. And Tim got to do his best ever guitar solo. Brandi so clearly invests emotionally into these artists that repeatedly open for her, I just have a lot of BoB thoughts.
Sinners, Saints, and Fools aka “we do not deserve Sista Strings but Chauntee and Monique have decided we get to enjoy their gifts for this moment in time”. Fun fact is that they apparently saw a symphony concert at the venue as children! Other fun fact: Geraldo Rivera was at this performance. Kinda wanted to say “Hey this whole thing is about grifters like you.” Anyway, it slaps.
The Joke: nothing groundbreaking to report. I cried. Her voice is stupid. People should stop trying to cover it. Forever thankful that this song finally got BCB the recognition they’ve deserved the whole time.
Hold Out Your Hand: it’s so fast and so fun. It’s also another moment that amplifies the band a part of what makes them so special. They are just people. There’s no tight corporate control, no musical director/concert choreographer dictating every movement. It’s just a bunch of talented adults playing music together, and occasionally being a bit goofy.
Live and Let Die/We Are The Champions: Adam Lambert and Brandi Carlile could pull off this tandem. End of list. All you should need to convince anyone of how great Brandi is right now is to say “She has the stage presence and vocal ability to kill this cover as an encore at all her shows”. It absolutely works live.
Anyway, this was my favorite concert I’ve ever experienced. Hope my ramblings made you laugh a little. They’re mostly for me here so I remember as much of tonight as I possibly can. Love to y’all. Good night.
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whatwouldvalerydo · 1 year
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Why I started...
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This small piece of nonsense for some, word for others has been a long time coming. And it all dials back to why did I join Tumblr? Why this fandom? Why am I still here?
All three are very valid questions. So let’s answer shall we.
Why did I join? 
Well...*grandma style and insert grandma voice* back in 2018 when I first opened this blog it was for an entirely different fandom, specifically Yu Yu Hakusho, but ultimately it was for the same reason I am here today. To write.
I remember the old days like it happened yesterday. 
I remember falling in love with @luckystarchild and her absolute perfect thousands not hundred word chapters I could never live up to but always wanted to. I remember wanting to have the same passion as @tv-writes-ff and always falling short but loving her work. I remember the emotions and delight from reading @cynfoladventures and the support I got from @urushibara-may and the utter joy from getting to meet her in person. @1nerdygurl please, go and read and you will be in awe. @o-dragon05 and her amazing story and love for the fandom? Yes please. Want dark and haunting and also another yes please, check out @agrinsosardonic​, you will not be disappointed. 
Absolute pillars in the fandom.
And guess what? Some took months, years to get back or they didn’t. And it still stuck to my brain what they wrote and what they did. And it was...I can’t find the proper words...amazing...and people stuck to it and believe it in and in them.
Why this fandom?
I started fanfiction out of love for anime.
I did move on with my last work for YYH title What does the fox say.
From there I moved on towards another old love. Not for the support for JKR, no. For the love of magic. For enchantment. For writing even more. For reminding me of older but better times when even in the real world magic seemed to work, even for a skeptic, black souled, dark coffee lover like me.
And I created shorts, entire stories like Late Night Enchantments, Late night curses, Carnage Circus and many more.
Why am I still here?
Good fucking question.
Not for a lot, let’s be honest.
But at the moment I have a few reasons, some have names, some don’t.
1. Talia Crane - who taught me resilience beyond belief and to go on despite all odds
2. Leila Mya Hellebore - for the love of family (the fandom) for going on despite everything
3. Jin Watanabe -  for the love of knowledge i might never use and despite that still love and for the sass
4. Gareth Farr - for trying when the world is tearing you apart, for unexpected love
5. Angela King - for the small spark of light in me and offering a bit of trust hoping something good will come out of it
6. Victoria Summer - for the perfect girls that are forced to be like that because of society but find a way around it
7. Scarlett Tempest -  for the i don’t give a fuck portion and don’t take any shit but also strong underneath all that
8. Jonathan Dante King - for trying new things and for courage
9. For me. Just for me.
Enjoy it people. Fandoms aren’t forever unless we make it good.
You aren’t above and beyond, we’re in it together. 
We all do good and bad, but in the end we’re here.
Try it out for what it is, not what your personal grievances are.
Be kind.
Just try.
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17-goingunder · 1 year
Text
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Three
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Masterlist
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Aurora
"What's gan on?" Tom asked as met the clueless looks of his friends gathered around my living room.
"What d'ya mean what's gan on?" his girlfriend snorted as she sent him a bemused look.
"Well, why have Rory asked us 'round hers? Usually, if we want a drink, we'll go down the Low Lights!" Tom exclaimed.
"Tom's got a point actually," Jess agreed as she turned to me with curious eyes. "Why are we here, Rora?"
"My money weren't on Tom figuring it oot, that's for sure," I snorted, mostly to myself but my gaze met Sam's for a split second, sharing an amused look.
"So, yer did bring us here for a reason?" Heidi frowned, studying me closely as she tried to work out the reason.
"Aye, I was wondering why yer'd invited the boys," Harlow commented, earning a chorus of whines from the boys in question.
"Yeah, I did," I giggled quietly. "Er, there's sommat I wanted to tell yous."
"Oh, god," Dean groaned. "You're not pregnant, are yer?"
"Pregnant?" Joe cackled. "She'd have to sleep with someone first."
"I'm not pregnant, thanks," I scowled, batting Joe over the head with the palm of my hand.
"Ow!" he whined as he rubbed his scalp and stared at me, shocked that I had actually hit him.
"Yer deserved that'n," Harlow laughed.
"You're not dying, are you?" the other Tom asked nonchalantly.
"No!" I groaned loudly.
"Don't tell me you're moving back to London!" Heidi gasped in alarm.
It was like a chain reaction, the hoard of people in the room rebounding off each other, causing absolute carnage.
"No!" Jess protested. "Nee chance!"
"Yer can't go back! We'll never bloody see ya!" Drew pouted.
"Calm down, I'm not moving back to London!" I huffed, rolling my eyes at their dramatics and holding my palm against my forehead. "Would yous all just shut the fuck up and let me tell yous?"
"Reet," Heidi flushed, burying her head in her boyfriend's shoulder in embarrassment.
"Yous have made this harder than it needed to be," I grumbled, running a hand through my hair in frustration.
"Well, ceemon then," Joe snorted. "Yer wanted to tell us sommat."
"Actually..." Sam piped up from the adjacent sofa but Tom was quick to interject.
"Urgh, Sam, now's not the time. I'm sure yer can tell us whatever it is yer need to tell us after Rory's made her announcement," Tom told him, giving his friend the tiniest of acknowledgements before turning his attention back to me. "Go on, Rora."
I couldn't help the laughter that fell from my lips, eyes glimmering with amusement as they met Sam's, whose own were full of shock. "Well, that's yer told, babe," I snickered.
"I'm sorry," Drew coughed. "Babe?"
Sam's shocked expression contorted into that of bemusement at his friend's expense as he stood and crossed the room to meet me. "Mhmm," he nodded, taking hold of my hand in his before turning to the multiple pairs of expectant eyes studying us. "Er, we wanted to tell yous that..."
I felt Sam's gaze on me, filled with adoration and a hint of begging. "We're back together again," I smiled, letting my head loll against his thick bicep.
"Nee way!" Heidi squealed as she bounced excitedly in her seat, startling Jay beside her.
"Finally!" Jess huffed.
"What?" Joe exclaimed loudly, mouth hung in shock, an expression mirrored by both Toms and Dean. Drew just looked bewildered, unable to comprehend the information that had just been revealed to him.
In fact, the only person who didn't seem totally shocked by the announcement was Harlow.
"Yer don't look very surprised, Harls," I laughed softly.
"Oh, please," she snorted, tipping her head back in amusement. "I figured it oot weeks ago now."
"What? How?!" Sam gaped.
"It wasn't hard," she smirked. "I had my suspicions since the day we went out for brunch, not that I knew the extent of it at that point but I knew sommat was up, yer were too happy," she shrugged. "Conveniently getting lost trying to find the toilet before Reading and Leeds? Especially when Owain came around looking for you, Sam. Both times. Sam's jumper at yours? Don't think I didn't notice all the love bites yer had just after Seventeen came oot either."
"Excuse me?" Tom choked.
"Oh, shut up, Tom. She's a big girl now," Jess scowled, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend's overprotective nature.
"Nope!" he protested whilst glaring at my boyfriend. "Watch your back, Fender."
"Already public enemy number one and it hasn't been five minutes since we all found oot," Joe cackled, slapping Sam's back in amusement. "Well done, mate."
"Piss off," my boyfriend scowled.
"So... how long has this been gan on?" Heidi inquired curiously, gaze flitting between the two of us.
My eyes flickered up at Sam. "Officially? Er, like two months but it's been a thing since the end of August," I admitted.
"That long?" Jess gaped. "And yer didn't tell us?"
"We wanted to take things slow," Sam shrugged as he met my gaze.
"The marks on Rory's neck tell me otherwise," Harlow snorted quietly but the whole room heard.
"Harlow," Tom groaned in disgust but the girl in question only smirked in reply.
"I can't believe ya knew and didn't tell me!" Dean huffed at his fiancé, finally seeming to have caught up on the whole conversation.
"Where have you been for the past five minutes?" Drew chuckled.
"It wasn't my business to tell yer," Harlow admitted with a noncommittal shrug.
"I'm your fiancé!" he protested.
Harlow rolled her eyes. "Oh, cry me a river," she muttered to herself.
"Well, anyway... I'm glad yous are back together," Jess announced, changing the direction of the conversation. "Watching the two of yous as miserable as yer were was getting painful."
"Cheers, Jess," Sam snorted.
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"Are yer on your way yet?" I asked.
"Just waiting for mam and then we're gan leave," Sam told me. I could hear the nerves in his voice even over the phone. Sam and I were finally telling our parents that we were together again and it was my boyfriend that was left racked with anxiety.
"What's gan on in that head of yours?" I inquired softly, eyes flickering towards the kitchen door that had been pulled closed. Behind it was my dad, who was preparing the food for our dinner.
"I'm just nervous about your dad's reaction," he swallowed thickly. I could picture him now, likely biting his nails down until he couldn't anymore before moving onto the delicate skin surrounding them.
"Why?" I laughed lightly.
"Er, because I'm the reason his only child moved three hundred miles away," he deadpanned.
A fond smile tugged at my lips. "Sam, ya've seen my dad since then," I snorted.
"Not as your boyfriend," he stressed.
"You're gan be fine, babe," I assured him. "My dad loves yer and y'kna it."
"Mmm," he hummed but he didn't sound too convinced. I could hear the faint sound of Sam's mam calling his name in the background and knew it was time for him to leave. "I've got to go. I'll see yer in a bit, alreet?"
"Okay, love," I smiled softly. "Stop stressing yourself oot, okay?"
"I'll try," he gulped, muttering a short goodbye before he ended the phone call.
"Rory!" my dad called from the kitchen.
"Coming!" I yelled back as I shoved my phone into my back pocket and rejoined him. "What's up?"
"Will yer set the table please?" he asked as he stirred the contents of the pan in front of him.
"Aye," I nodded in agreement, digging out enough cutlery for us all and beginning to lay it out on the table. "Smells lush, dad."
"Cheers, pet," he thanked me, pressing a short kiss to the crown of my head as he manoeuvred around me to place a plate filled with a cut-up baguette in the centre of the table. "So, are yer gan tell me about this lad of yours?"
"Nope," I chirped with a cheeky smile.
"Rory, you won't even tell me his name!" he sighed in exasperation. "Do I at least know him?"
"Yes," I told him as I rolled my eyes.
"Don't tell me it's that Josh lad," he pleaded.
"Stop with the 20 questions, dad, they'll be here any minute," I laughed. "But no, it's not."
"Oh, thank God." He breathed, shoulders dropping in relief. "I still don't see why yer ended things with Finley. He was a proper canny lad like."
"We've had this conversation, dad. Me and Finley just weren't reet for each other," I groaned, just as the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" I exclaimed, barely giving my dad a chance to relax before I was sprinting to the front door.
I swung the door open, grinning at the reactions of the three people standing before me. Sam stood there, a smug look on his face with a bunch of roses and sunflowers in hand hands, his mam and step-dad stood to the right of him with a mixture of shock and joy. "Alreet, darlin'?"
"Hi," I beamed, letting Sam step forward and press a soft kiss against my lips.
"I think we broke mam and Ronnie," Sam laughed as he handed me the bouquet of flowers. "Your favourites."
"They're beautiful," I smiled, the familiar feeling of butterflies fluttering around in my stomach as Shirley shook herself from her stupor.
"Am I hallucinating?" she asked, blinking her eyes exaggeratedly as though I was anything but a figment of her imagination.
"Not hallucinating," I snorted, pulling the older woman into a tight hug.
"Rory? What's taking so long?" my dad called from behind me as Shirley and I parted, freezing when he noticed who was at the door. "Samuel."
"Mr Nightingale," Sam gulped, offering him a short nod. My dad stared him down for a few moments, an icy look in his eye before his face broke out into a grin.
"I thought we grew out of Mr Nightingale when you were still a bairn," he teased, causing Sam to break out into a nervous laugh. "Come in yous, it's bloody freezing oot here."
"See, I told yer," I whispered to Sam as he grasped my hand tightly, our parents deep in conversation a few steps in front of us.
"Told us? Rory, I nearly pissed myself," he admitted under his breath. A quiet giggle fell from my lips as we followed the adults into the kitchen. I placed the bouquet in my hand in a spare vase and filled it with water before turning back to my boyfriend.
"You're being overdramatic," I laughed.
"I'll be honest, I really weren't expecting this," my dad admitted as the four of us took our seats at the table whilst he began plating up the food. "Like at all."
"Neither were we," Shirley agreed. "I was shocked when wor Sam told us he had a girlfriend, I thought after the last one he was gan give up."
"Cheers, mam," Sam snorted, resting his hand on my knee.
"I'm serious!" she exclaimed. "We all know why yer got rid of what's her face and yous were both so adamant yer weren't getting back together."
"We do?" I asked lightly, sending Sam a look of confusion from the corner of my eye.
"Yer didn't tell her?" Shirley scolded her son.
"It's not sommat that tends to come up in conversation very often as a matter-of-fact, mam," he spoke sarcastically.
"Less of the lip, kidda," she warned. "I brought yer into this world, I can just as easily take yer back oot of it."
I covered my mouth to hide the snickers that fell from my lips but it was in vain, Sam scowling at me in the corner of my eye. "So, why did you and what's her face break up?" I questioned.
"She got jealous and wanted me to pick between yous," he shrugged nonchalantly. "I told her there was no competition, that I would pick yer every time."
My bottom lip quivered slightly at his admission, my stomach erupting in a fireworks display. "Really?"
"Course," he smiled lightly whilst squeezing my knee. "I'd pick yer over pretty much everyone on this planet, Scarl."
My eyes began watering as I removed his hand from my knee and entwined our fingers.
"Reet, that's enough of your soppiness, I'd rather keep my appetite," my dad announced as he started to place each of our plates down on the table.
"Shut up, dad," I huffed.
"Thanks, Jame," Shirley beamed. "It looks lush."
"You're welcome," he smiled, finally sitting down between me and Shirley. Sam wasted no time digging into his food, scoffing mouthfuls like an animal and earning a look of disgust from his mother.
"Samuel, would yer stop acting like a pig for once in your life like?" Shirley groaned.
"Nowt's changed then," my dad snorted. "Still the same kid ya were when you were sixteen."
"Most definitely," I agreed with a fond smile.
"I'm glad the two of yous have made up. Properly like," he commented, sending Sam a reassuring nod.
The corners of Sam's lips tugged upwards in a shy smile as he stared at me lovingly. "Aye, me too, Jame," he mumbled. "Me too."
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nelumbo-lutea · 1 year
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Some au ideas about Rung
I’ve been thinking on it a lot lately but I don’t want to spoil anything should I go through with it. But I really like the idea of Rung being a an unassuming dude one minute and turning into something monstrous in appearance the next, I’ve seen the tag “ monster!rung” here and there, and I don’t know who originated it, or if its just a concept anyone can do an interpretation of , but I’d like to do something with it.
Think of all the potential lore and story for it.
Monstrously adaptive: Keeping his idw personality in mind for much of this, he could just be a kind guy with a monstrous third appearance. That’s right, he can be a triple changer (kinda.) in that his monstrous form kinda counts.
He could be one of the ancient Cybertronians or a “recent” one with an ancient’s build. And his more bulky alt and normal alt could be an indication of how either:
1.) the harshness and dangers of early Cybertron and its inhabitants way of survival.
2.) Cybertronians , much like humans , domesticated themselves with time.
In this , Rung would be very compact and seem small but could be rather heavy. Ooor have some weird ass biology to where he can shift his overall mass somewhere else with ease. (No one has to get radiation poisoning or whatever the cannon is for this.)
Bring a bit of prime continuity in that they did this because of predicons ooor they technically are predicons existing in modern day. Like how Cassowaries are decedents of dinosaurs. The insecticons can also be one of the ancients and their decendents too. Since many still have that aspect to them. All the newer transformers born after that era don’t have scary ass adaptations or appearances, usually. (For them at least.) But much like how ancient traits appear occasionally in humans , it occurs with them as well.
Transformer’s ancients ‘gods’ were monsters: We’re talking full on watermelon between the thighs level carnage. He’d just be one of the nice ones. I’m tossing in some Mythos and continuities here as I want some semblance of creation myth and it’s proposed correlation with spark carrying organisms (not in the “impregnated by transformers” way but that they were simply born with a spark and no one knows why.-Thank you James Roberts for the inspiration. And Truama. XD) Yeah, your benevolent gods, whom most are genuinely so, are horrifying to look at and come up with wild ass creation ideas. Best part is they think all of them are beautiful.
Including humans.
Brings the term “a face only a mother could love” to a whole new level. Specially when the mother is subjective in looks too- but back on point. There could be a whole subclass of cybertronians based on each deities version of monstrous.
You know the Lunarians from idw1’s lost light? The ones that all look like Rung? What if they are the subspecies thats been hiding in plain site this whole time and they hid their monstrous parts with absolute ease. They could be ancient predicons or just look like em. Who knows.
Are these descendent of the gods with rows of jagged teeth cannibalistic? Vegetarian? Violent or nonviolent?
Do they like sweets-?
Because it REMINDS THEM OF THE SWEET TASTE OF SPILT ENERGON FROM THEIR VICTIM’S VEINS???
or are they just candy addicts like some folks be.
get a piece of robot candy and go, “Psspsspss.” To one and see what happens.
Me? I wouldn’t fuck around and find out. They are all individuals after all. And just because a few of your gods are nice, doesn’t mean you are.
But I of focus would be Rung. And his connection with all of this. The old guy that isn’t an old guy. He’s just as lustrous and spry as the day he came to be. Which absolutely should not be the case if you know his history.
Maybe they all have a regeneration factor but Rung’s is one of the more refined? Which should imply that these guys are harder to kill than most cybertronians. All this gives them a really mixed reputation that they would rather not speak on. Especially Rung.
Rung is a one of a kind monster: He could be a direct link or avatar of a deity whom is somewhat monstrous themselves, making run a highly adaptive one of a kind dude.There is no telling how old he is or where he came from. Only he knows completely and only a few others have seen the other side of him. He can be either a monitor or a catalyst .
Either way, Rung is someone’s paralysis demon: This goes without saying and can probably fit with both previous scenarios. Someone fucked around and saw Rung being a little too casual and found out.
But when they try to tell the others, they don’t believe them. But Rung knows they know.
They pass by him day after day. He looks to them with a soft smile an glossed over glasses as he gives him a knowing nod and a gentle wave. Almost becoming. A passive dare.
Said person transferred to a different division next day.
Overall: I’d keep the whole “He’s unassuming and looks non threatening.” Thing but I’m ditching the “chronic air of forgettable.” about him from his idw iteration.
I like the concept of him running a candy store in the autobot hq as a hobby shop and that’s how he meets a lot of people. Social guy, likes to analyze people for no apparent reason. Can read you like a book. Knows what you did last summer. But totally not judge mental , it’s surprising. He’s very good with kids. Vice-captain dad, or at least a really cool uncle.
“Your honor, the suspect , Rung, is absolutely innocent of this grisly crime. No , I don’t care if the teeth and dna are a match. And no, he did not in fact bribe me with candy.”
(May add to this later.)
Also , im open to learning the history of the tag, color me intrigued.
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furiousgoldfish · 1 year
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System update #5 (tw self hatred, dealing with a demon alter, distressing stuff, triggered state)
I was telling a story about the origin of my demon alter the last time; and about how devastated I was to find out. It was a bad call getting so upset, because the demon alter figured I was sad and upset because of them, and backed off, and now they're keeping a lot of distance away from me. The worst is that they're actually right, every time I try to lure them to come talk to me, I inevitably get crushed by the weight of the trauma on them, and I can't stay collected, I start crying, they get upset and feel guilty and back off. I don't think I can do it. And the demon doesn't want to do anything that upsets me, so they're staying away for my sake.
I had a completely unrelated event that triggered a lot of trauma, and thankfully my protective alter got involved and made sure I make out of it okay. I'm grateful for it because I would not have made it out on my own, I was trapped in a flashback for weeks, I couldn't do whatever needed to be done until the alter physically forced me. But even afterwards, I was doubting myself, and kept overthinking everything that happened, drawing more and more bizarre conclusions, until I triggeed myself so far back, I went back into a state where I believed I was a demon. I didn't even know that could happen. It was almost unbearable, the thoughts and the shame and the self hatred. I believed in those moments not only that I deserved every bit of the abuse I got, but also that I should be sent back until it kills me. I sat on the floor crying for a while, then I realized I needed to snap out of it, I haven't thought that way about myself for years now, I knew I wasn't a demon. I needed to find my way back to reality.
I tried using logic and listing all of the things I've done that aren't even closely demonic, and it did absolutely nothing, I was numb to any fact or reason, I believed based on how I was treated, that I had to be a demonic creature, toxic and poisonous just by existing. Then I asked the protective alter to try and bring me down from it, and they've told me all of the things that would usually calm me down and it didn't work, I was numb even to the care of my alter. So my protective alter said: 'Maybe you should go hang out with demon since you're both on the same page now'. And I thought, good idea. What's better for a demon, than another demon.
So I went to the demon child, and I said 'Hey, I'm a demon too.'
'You're not a demon', said the demon.
'Well, they told me I was.' I shrugged.
'They shouldn't have told you that.' the demon said.
It's impossible to argue with a child, but it was weird, to see the demon convince me of the same thing I was trying to convince them into. I couldn't do it back to them though, because it would hurt them. So I just talked more, demon to demon.
'What are we going to do now, that we're both demons?' I asked.
'Oh it's okay,' the demon said. 'We get to enjoy all of the murder now.'
That made me laugh.
'But won't everyone be really angry at us?' I asked.
'Yeah, that's the bad part of it. But there's also the carnage.'
I couldn't be upset after that. This child and me, to live up to our demonic nature, we were gonna commit some carnage, yeah. That snapped me right out of it. It was magical thinking, but the kid seemed so serious, so sure that this is what's going on, that on some level, we must be committing some violent crimes so that's why we're demons. We're just sitting here and seriously discussing our violent nature that doesn't exist.
The kid actively needed to make stuff up to offer as proof of demonism, while I felt like just how everyone reacted to me existing and having feelings, was a proof enough. The child was more rational than I was, in that situation. And the truth is, I've still not recovered, I'm still filled with doubt and trying to find my way out of it, because it's hard. If everyone reacts at you like you're a demon, you can't just decide that you're not, and the facts and logic don't help, because other people's reactions feel stronger than the arguments you can bring up yourself. Maybe if I got mad that people reacted in such ways, projecting their own nature on me, then accusing me of it.
I wonder if anyone thought up of a good process to come down from such horrible, spiraling thoughts about oneself. Because factual and logical arguments don't work, you can't approach it from a normal state, you can't just go from zero to eleven to convince someone they're not as evil and monstrous as they believe themselves to be. You have to go up by just one, so they would accept it, and wouldn't dismiss it. If someone believes to be a demon, you can't list to them all of the good things they've done that prove they're a good person. You have to start from the belief that this is in fact, a demon. So you tell them, okay, they're a demon, they're probably enjoying the carnage, but they've also tried to convince someone they're not a demon, so maybe there's a little bit of good in them. Maybe they're a demon with 1 positive trait. That's more believable to a demon, than 'no you're not a demon'. Just going slowly.
Maybe one day they'll use their demon powers to do something good. Maybe you can point it out to them, and tell them that demons could be good, demons could still be loved. Maybe it's supposed to look like a redemption arc. Maybe that's why people love redemption arcs, because they need one, because it helps them come down from self hatred. Maybe it's a road from demon to hero, and after they believe they've changed and fixed themselves, and that they've deserved to be loved now, despite being a demon, maybe the idea that they were never a demon would not feel so foreign and unacceptable anymore. Maybe it would be easier to handle.
I know it wouldn't stop the emotional blow of 'you believing you were a demon was just a cover for the abusers to be able to torture you when you were a child' but I guess first there has to be something to help them take the blow, some support or belief in their own worth. I think I'll try approaching the demon as a second demon from now on, I can be, like a demon friend, or a demon mentor. We can commit some fictional crimes in my head to bond over and then we can be friends.
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twilightknight17 · 4 months
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Today on P5T, I was right, Jade was right, the boss continues to be absolutely the worst, and we’ve learned some new stuff!
All the freed citizens refer to her as “Lady Yuki”, so Ann questions whether or not she’s married. This offends the hats. XD
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But yes! She used to be married to Yoshiki! So that means she is, in fact, Toshiro’s mother! I was correct. And once Yuki takes the captives to safety, Toshiro explains what happened to his mother. He had a rough childhood.
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But he came up with a plan to spend some more time with her! He would sneak her out of the hospital, and they would go to the amusement park together. His mother went along with this plan, and they had a great day. At least until they left.
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His mother passed away soon after, and his father put the blame for his mother’s death on him. To the point of trying to poison his memories of his mother. Like an absolute fucker.
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But… there are so many Thieves who don’t have moms. Futaba, Haru, Makoto, Yusuke… So Futaba and Yusuke are able to talk him down and reassure him that they’re sure his mother didn’t hate him.
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With that settled, they charge onwards through the castle to confront Yoshiki himself. He’s horrible, he sets up a whole thing where you have to keep fighting your way across the room towards him to deal more damage, and most of his attacks can knock you back. Which is great when you have to be crossing raised platforms.
The TVs are cool. Very nice P4 vibes.
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After we get down to the last hit, the game does that thing where it’s like “oh noooo, we’re going to be overrun if we don’t do somethingggg” while I’m just over here like, “No? I’m fine? I just need to do one more fight?” But it paves the way for a dramatic moment where Yuki and all the citizens return to bust in and overwhelm Yoshiki so we can get the last hit in.
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He doesn’t go down, though. He stays up and keeps talking. All the TVs are showing the revolution happening outside, where the city is burning and the citizens are fighting to the last. The Thieves are finally hit with the realization that when they do things, there can be negative consequences regardless of their good intentions. We’re not going to go into this too much because this is P5 and we do not dig into the grey morality of the Phantom Thieves, but in this specific instance, I’m going to say it’s fine to not dig, because instead we get Yoshiki taking the opposite extreme.
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Says the man working his citizens to death running the power grid so he can keep his fucking surveillance cameras running. Like, fucking hell. Dude. At least this carnage is because of the citizens fighting for their future, and not because you’re torturing them.
Then he starts laying into Toshiro like an absolute monster. I wonder how much older Toshiro is than Akira Konoe. They could have been ‘murdering our abusive fathers’ buddies as children.
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And as one last parting shot, he barfs up a massive laser and tries to blast Toshiro. But Yuki shoves Toshiro out of the way and takes the hit, and once again, there is blood pooling on the floor. Yoshiki is a dick about it, of course.
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Immediately afterwards, he dissolves. So like, were you hanging on through sheer force of will just to blast him? But before she dies, Yuki assures him that she has never resented him. She was glad she got to spend that time with him, because she loved him. It was really, really cute, actually.
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...Knight, huh? Damn it Atlus. XDDDDD
The country is now free, the hatpeople are happy, the Thieves are mobbed with thanks again, and Erina is still having a mild existential crisis. Because if that was Toshiro’s mom, what is she?
But we’re heading for the next door, and crossing our fingers that it either takes us back to Erina’s world, or home.
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…………..oh god. It’s a school.
Erina feels like the atmosphere is suffocating, but many of the Thieves don’t notice any difference. Toshiro doesn’t recognize the place, but they’re used to that, so they decide to go inside and see what’s going on. Inside the school, they return to their street clothes, and the halls are deserted, but they find a weird door.
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Obviously we gotta go through the weird door, and on the other side, we find Hell! Hell is made of lava and speakers.
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So the gimmick for this place is that there are speaker enemies on the battlefield, and they announce “rules” that you can’t break while you’re in their range, otherwise you’ll incur a penalty (which is being knocked out of cover so the other enemies can wallop you). After we manage to get out of the hellpocket, we meet this Kingdom’s hatpeople, who are all in school uniforms. They’ve formed the Rebel Club to fight the tyrant who has taken over the school, which is some kind of… fire-themed guy.
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I’ve got a couple theories here. The tyrant might be a delinquent, a bully, that sort of thing. Might be some uncaring school administrator. Might be Toshiro himself, off the rails because of his father’s expectations. He was probably student council president. You know he was.
So we’ve gotta go get four keys to unlock the door to the final boss, where the exit to the school probably is. Because all the hatstudents are trapped here too. Each of the keys is in one of those hellpockets, so it’s off to the courtyard to get the first one. After a tough battle, we find…
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...oh. So it’s like a Jail core. Not an actual key, but a significant object to the person. Time for a flashback! And wow, I was right, he was student council president! He got beaten up trying to protect another kid! And he… uh… oh…
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I’m not gonna lie, this feels very ‘unrealized childhood crush’ to me. Erina realizes that this is probably why she’s been feeling so weird in the school. And everyone realizes that they really need more info, and getting the keys will probably clear up more of Toshiro’s memories.
Apparently Eri is just like Erina, though. Strong sense of justice, strong urge to jump in and help regardless of danger, all that good stuff. I was going to say that there’s nothing in canon that says we can’t take Erina back to our world at the end of this, but apparently there is a real equivalent to Erina out there. And she’d probably be a better fiancee than Marie by leaps and bounds.
So that’s the third Kingdom! We will see who the boss ends up being.
Other notes:
There doesn't seem to be a human person here so far.
I love Ann’s surprised sprite.
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I love that Toshiro has just reached the point of rolling with all this.
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We MIGHT have gotten a vague Maruki allusion.
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I got my Danger Noodle! I love Yurlunger. XD
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nikkeisimmer · 1 year
Text
Let Me Tell You A Story:
“The First Hint of Snow and Everything Goes to Shit”
Tuesday’s commute home was a literal nightmare. 5 1/2 hrs of pure misery.
Not only were Lower Mainlanders blissfully unaware of the white mass of cold frozen stuff that was going to cascade onto their unsuspecting heads, the functionally brain-dead amongst us undertook it to make the experience of commuting absolutely horrific.
My personal horror story started with a blissful jaunt down Canoe Pass Way not suspecting the scenes from Carmageddon to ensue as we drive unawares of the carnage closer to home. My first inkling that something was wrong was an eighteen-wheeler involved in a one vehicle jack-knife blocking one lane about 3/4s of the way Eastward on Highway 17. But that was easy to go around. Then not five minutes driving later I see redlights all the way down the 17 to Nordel Way where I was supposed to exit. So our progress slowed to an imperceptible crawl. At this point it has only been 35minutes since we left Tsawwassen Mills Mall - little did I know we were going to be in for five hours of trying to get home. About half an hour later essentially only having moved about 6 feet down highway 17. I said to my wife, the first of many times that night, “Do people here even know how to drive in snow?” My wife just rolled her eyes and sighed. This was going to be a long night of cussing, emitting blue expletives, wishing not so goodwill upon all mankind and wishing some cataclysmic event would befall humanity causing the roads to miraculously clear and offer us a route home unimpeded by who I called many times that night the functionally braindead who got their driver’s license out of a Crackerjack box. Needless to say, wishing ill upon humanity did not work.
At the 1 hr and 45 minute mark after making about a mile progress down Highway 17, as the driver I made the conscious (reluctantly conscious mind you, I would have much preferred to have been home, in my bed unconscious at this point) decision to remove ourselves from that morass of confused and impatient drivers, the one behind me, seeming to want to stick his/her nose up the rear of my Nissan Versa Note in an attempt to either satisfy his/her urgings to make me go a bit faster or to breed his/her Toyota 4Runner to my back fender. No is no. How much faster can I move when the average traffic flow speed is 0km/hr. We’re at a freaking standstill. Cool your jets. You ain’t goin’ anywhere. Our alternate route was to try to get onto Scott Road. So we continued to head down Highway 17 until we saw the Old Yale Road intersection. That was not a wise move. We exited Hwy17 to enter a divergent intersection that crossed King George Highway which led us to Scott Road and into a traffic jam that kept us occupied for the next two and a half hours gratefully thanking any deity in earshot that we had snow-tires on, that we could exercise our options of escaping or consider sitting in this traffic jam on Scott Road for the next six hours until it cleared. We finally opted to escape the traffic jam within about six km from our home since we were getting nowhere fast and we were rapidly starting to reach the halfway point of whatever gas we had put in to get home that night. We exited the teeming lump of irritated humanity and exhaust fumes and made what we thought was our escape.
No, we were back on Hwy 17, headed eastward towards Langley. This time I notified my wife, “Hon, I think we should just go to Langley and hit Fraser Hwy and see if the road is clear THAT way.” Of course my brain at that point had forgotten the name of said highway and my brain had devolved to the point of gesticulating in the direction of where I considered the rough direction of home and mumbling incoherently about the diagonal highway that goes all the way to Whalley? Yeah, my brain was close to tofu by this point. There’s a longish bridge along Hwy 17 and of course thanking my lucky stars we had snows because my vehicle had a bit of a fish-tail as my right back wheel hit a patch of ice. There was so much snow one couldn’t tell if it was just compacted snow turned into ice or whether it was Black ice. We emerged from Hwy 17 at 172nd street. And like my Chinese Astrological sign (the Dog), I went exploring to try and find Fraser Hwy - all the natural landmarks are in the dark, I don’t know this area and naturally I’m lost. Keep in mind that this is now 11:30PM, we’d left Tsawwassen Mills at 7:00PM, we left the gas station at 56th in Tsawwassen with 149km of gas remaining in the tank. We were now at 88km remaining and we still weren’t home. My beloved and I are now getting more than irritated. My median age had reverted to toddler and I’n now getting downright cranky. Like a toddler, all I wanted to do was go home, eat and sleep. Of course our bladders both were acting up and I wanted nothing more than to; a thought I’d been verbalizing multiple times that night already, “I just want to get the hell home”. Thankfully we managed to find 100th Avenue in the dark and utilize the Esso Station as an impromptu bathroom - luckily for us, they have public washroom facilities.
I exit the gas station, turn right onto 100th Avenue and not more than a mile down the road I run into nature’s latest Eff U, there’s a traffic jam up 100th. So since my back end was clear, I reverse gauging the lights behind me, then do an illegal U-turn; no choice these were extenuating circumstances and head back towards the intersection and go south that I knew would exit us at Fraser Highway. Now no longer incoherent or directionally challenged, I knew where I was and where I was going I headed right on Fraser Highway. We hit 96 and Fraser, turning left. We saw accumulations of snow as we hit King George and 96 as they hadn’t been through with the ploughs yet. My beloved wife’s spirits rose considerably as we hit Scott and 96. We were now within stones throw of our home.
And thankfully it was clear sailing from there. I uttered one final “Thank goodness I’m glad I’m home” as I turned the key in the lock of my home. We’d made it despite seeing all manner of incompetence on the road and having a few episodes of near-homicidal rage at the stupidity exhibited by some drivers.
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My advice to people: Get some snow tires on.
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punkscowardschampions · 3 months
Text
Tancy Pt.3
Teddy: [when you’ve clearly bit your tongue about all this and his ow sort of noise is giving hers from before but way more indecent ‘look what you made me do’ sticking it out not only so she can see it’s all puffy and ridiculous but also to let all his spit fall and hit her wherever it is going to depending where her face and head are positioned at the time with no fucks given to the carnage that’ll cause]
Nancy: [pouting up at him so big, letting his spit fall all over your face and hair before you’re quickly kissing his tongue better, at first doing the quick pecks you would do, pinching his tongue as far out of his mouth as you can, holding it in place before your pecks turn into more extra kisses before you are washing your tongue over his, finally letting go with your fingers so you can suck it into your mouth as hard as you can, still maintaining pouty eye contact like is that better?]
Teddy: [we all know damn well he’s giving her heart eyes the entire time but they are never bigger than when he bites her tongue the first chance he gets, in retaliation as if it was only all her fault he did his and nothing to do with him, unable to not start moving again when he has because of whatever reaction he gets in response] 
Nancy: [when the little cry you do is as needy as the way you bounce yourself, purposefully lowering yourself directly onto his knee so it hits harder, can pretend you’re moving away from him because he bit you but you can see in the EYE CONTACT being maintained that we’re obsessed with it]
Teddy: [we love to see it all, not to mention hear that, hold onto her so she doesn’t fall off this knee while you’re both wilding out with it because really gotta do the most as soon as she’s there and that idea is in both their heads, catch him also fully spitting into her mouth as hard as he can from the distance there is, as if he’s really launched his head back and entered a spitting contest with the force of it he’s trying to give, without actually moving anywhere but closer]
Nancy: [when you throw your own head back to MOAN that dramatically about this, the way the spit is literally going to be gargling in your mouth before you’re letting it run out, smearing it over your face in a similar fashion to how you licked his, all the while absolutely dying over how this new position feels ‘this is a new game’ as something you eventually get out, disjointed from the erratic breathing and noises you’re holding back just about]
Teddy: [living for the entire spectacle, obvs, holding her face so dramatically when it’s all spitty and gross because you absolutely have to, stroking her throat with as much !! like she needs help to swallow or get the words out or breathe when really again you just wanna spread this around further, holding it too when you’re sure she’s finished her sentence, to feel what she isn’t saying and the noises she’s trying to keep in ‘I’d hate for you to want to stop playing’ like gotta keep these games new and fresh and you both interested, which is true in fairness]
Nancy: [nodding as a way to further how he’s holding your throat, with how hard you’re writhing, it’s going to be the only way he’s holding you and you’re about that and the precariousness of it all, obviously ‘I don’t’ because not what we were saying even when we had every intention of walking out the door and not ending up here again]
Teddy: [thank god it’s not easy to accidentally kill someone by choking them to death because he’s only holding her throat harder about this as if she said she gotta leave rn immediately because can’t help but be THRILLED that she doesn’t want to and hence we’re losing control a little bit, I say as if y’all weren’t already out of control haha, but he’s all about keeping her right here and exactly this feral]
Nancy: [wouldn’t complain even if we could and that’s being made so obvious with the heart eyes we’re giving you, even if our face is an absolute red mess, we care not, putting our hand over his in the way we did earlier like remember this]
Teddy: [as much as I’d love for you to deal with some actual consequences for once in your life hun killing this gal is not how, just live your best lives, nobody is dying today, not literally anyway, put her other hand on your crotch for that reminder as well though cos it’s fine if you die in that sense]
Nancy: [there’s plenty opportunities for both of you to get into perilous situations because of your unhinged behaviour but we won’t choose right now lol, not when we have to do the most to once again be touching you so indecently whilst not actually undressing you sufficiently so you’re being killed by that as well]
Teddy: [not with a murder, you’re both welcome, we’ve actually been so kind to y’all tonight that we should probably think of a way to cockblock that isn’t someone coming in which we’ve already done, maybe her boyfriend could ring her as she’s forgotten about him?]
Nancy: [that’s a good idea and you did tell him you’d be coming to see him so he’ll be chasing that up with all that machismo and his friends backing him up, joy of joys lol, and he really would have to blow your phone up because you’d happily ignore him otherwise and we all know it but when he won’t stop calling, his next step is to likely come back so you have to answer and stop]
Teddy: [^^ it tracks because I’m sure you’ve both ignored your phones plenty at plenty of other points during tonight and would try to ignore hers again for as long as you could but clearly it’s getting to a level where you can’t despite how distracted you are and therefore you’ve realised it must be him and there is a real possibility he might appear, oh how frustrated and fuming they’ll be but I had to do it to them, can’t have this going too far lads, hooking up is a no until the future I’m soz, Teddy will be trying to drag her under this bed by her ankles for that nod to earlier like no no let’s just hide and carry on but you cannot I’m afraid and her prioritising this shit bf will encourage him to make the gf his actual gf which likewise needs to happen so]
Nancy: [oh the awkwardness of this being the death throes of this relationship for you and this is all for nothing but alas, you’re not after getting caught and absolutely not by this man who would have every reason to tell everyone, the way you have to run and totally dip from this party right now, such fun]
Teddy: [we get it girl, everyone calling you a nonce would not be fun, by which I mean jemily, Teddy absolutely refuses to get it and will be livid haha, bet she regrets being so covered in spit now, huh? I hope for your sake it’s raining on this June night in London so you don’t have to deal with your bf being like um wtf]
Nancy: [me hoping that whatever pub they’re in is far enough you can warrant getting a car there because then you’ll have time to somewhat fix the state of yourself here but truly who knows]
Teddy: [tbf she could get a car there even if it was round the corner cos she is that bitch, this bf is not to know how long it has taken her and why, she’s been partying and was hard to get hold of, idk what state you’re expecting babe]
Nancy: [mhmm, not saying you’re stupid but you’re clearly not that observant, any jealousy and accusations about why she might have taken so long will have come from you being egged on by your friends]
Teddy: [there’s a lot of boys who aren’t that observant or that smart so you aren’t alone hun, me like, Teddy are you gonna go home/take this girl home in a sulk or stay here until the bitter end because both are valid moods]
Nancy: [both valid, me just debating when I should have her come at him awkwardly to say sorry without saying it because what a place to leave things]
Teddy: [let us say you stay here til the bitter end to be different from your diva storm out last time, it’s absolutely NOT that you’re hoping to wait it out until she comes home and see her, NOPE, it goes without saying that if by some miracle his gf is still here with her fiends and has not left he will be fucking her on Nancy’s bedroom floor because she is a blatant stand in now and forever]
Nancy: [me like lol where do you think he’s been queen, god bless, know he’s not your boyfriend like that yet but still, just reappearing so suddenly and all over you, am going to have to make you go to your boyfriends to avoid y’all seeing each other again, just to be mean, this party not ending until the flatmate finally shows, whoever she may be]
Teddy: [at least we can give you the benefit of the doubt of saying you were more out of it than tancy were when he left and used to these kinds of messy parties where people just vanish and reappear with a wild story or not at all cos very real, even if you’re also not that smart or observant too, as long as you’re hot so he can say he’s with you for your looks and rich so you aren’t beneath him it’s fine, when you wait AND wait for Nancy to reappear and she doesn’t and you know what that means for where she is so you’re like okay gotta gf up this girl now, fantastic]
Nancy: [can’t wait for you to catch wind of that, girl, along with your flatmate being pissy with you for throwing and then leaving a party unattended, just in the best mood lmao, I will come at him, giving flimsy excuse next morning vibes]
Teddy: [go for it girl, can’t believe we’re over 30 pages again]
Nancy: Do you happen to know what happened to [something your friend owns/in her room, giving it’s horrifically broken vibes]?
Teddy: It doesn’t ring a bell as something I’ve ever seen, even in 1 piece
Nancy: I did try to say no one would be invested as she is… my hunt for the culprit continues then
Teddy: Try [someone we’re shading as having bad taste/being invested cos they fancy her flatmate/something to that effect] 
Nancy: Thanks, worth a shot
Teddy: No problem, darling
Nancy: Hope you have a less shit day at work
Teddy: Naturally, I’m not going
Nancy: Too hungover
Teddy: Please, I’m not old enough for hangovers, it’s the rest of your crowd losing their touch, moi EXCLUDED
Nancy: They make a great excuse nonetheless
Teddy: My father doesn’t need them, unlike you, I know when & how to mute a contact
Nancy: If your head is hurting that bad, I’ll leave you to your [whatever headache cure we’re touting that is probably hair of the dog esque]
Teddy: It isn’t, but apparently it makes a fantastic excuse nonetheless
Nancy: You’re welcome for the hot tip
Teddy: Thanks, you’re welcome to blame & bill me for the damage
Nancy: Don’t be silly, why would I do that
Teddy: Why wouldn’t you? It shuts her up & ends your search for whoever did her the real interior design favour, I only wish I had
Nancy: And you’re sure you didn’t?
Teddy: Absolutely
Nancy: Then it’s not your problem to fix
Nancy: don’t worry
Teddy: [send her the amount this thing costs because you’ve looked it up clearly]
Teddy: It’s fixed
Nancy: I don’t get why you would do that
Teddy: Clearly, but you’re far from alone when SO much of what you do is a giant mystery to me
Nancy: What have I done?
Teddy: I was speaking in generalities
Nancy: Too big a word for me, unfortunately
Teddy: That is unfortunate
Nancy: Tell me about it
Teddy: [tell her some goss from the party that isn’t about you or anything you care about, but it’s maintaining the facade of how you would usually talk]
Nancy: Everything always happens when I leave
Teddy: Perhaps take that as a sign
Nancy: If by sign you mean an insult, I have
Teddy: I meant an indication, but that’s probably too big of a word for you as well
Nancy: Indication of what, that I’m boring?
Teddy: It’s hardly my place to say
Nancy: [send him the money back like no it isn’t]
Teddy: [send it straight back]
Nancy: Oh my God
Nancy: I am not buying her a new [whatever this is, we do not care girl lol]
Teddy: Don’t then
Nancy: Don’t you waste your money
Teddy: If you’re going to do an impression of my sister, fully commit
Nancy: I doubt either of us has the time for that roleplay
Teddy: Find time to go shopping, for all I care
Nancy: I won’t bother telling you what I buy as you care so little 
Teddy: As you wish
Nancy: You’re being strange, not the good kind
Teddy: You’re busy, allegedly 
Nancy: Only with this mindless errand, as I assumed you would be too but my mistake
Teddy: Of all the mistakes to own up to
Nancy: What was I meant to do?
Teddy: What’s the point in asking me now?
Nancy: Don’t act like I could at the time
Teddy: You didn’t at the time, don’t act like you want my input any more in the cold light of day
Nancy: I had to go or he was going to come back, there wasn’t a discussion to be had, I thought that was obvious
Teddy: Go, not stay
Teddy: I thought breakups are famously quick instead of something you pull an all-nighter for
Nancy: He had a lot to say
Nancy: hence the phonecalls that meant you’d be gone whenever I got back
Teddy: Except I wasn’t, Nance
Nancy: You weren’t
Teddy: No discussion to be had here either
Nancy: Come on, I didn’t know you would stay
Teddy: I shouldn’t have
Nancy: You were having a good time without me, it’s not like you wasted your evening
Teddy: I never waste an evening
Nancy: So no need for regret
Teddy: Of course not
Nancy: Stop being moody with me when you know I’ve had a terrible evening then, it’s rude
Teddy: It’s your own fault
Nancy: That doesn’t mean you can’t feel sorry for me, that’s what friends are for
Nancy: who was nice to you when you had a shitty day
Teddy: I didn’t do anything wrong, it was easier for you to play nice
Nancy: It’s never easy for me to play nice
Teddy: Liar
Nancy: Ask anyone
Teddy: I have plenty of examples springing to mind without resorting to a Q&A
Nancy: That wasn’t playing nice
Teddy: Yes it was
Nancy: It’s not my fault if I’m not very good at playfighting
Teddy: You will choose boyfriends who waste their stamina throwing rugby balls around & having long showers together, how do you expect to get any better?
Nancy: I suppose that makes it a hate crime if I tell everyone that’s why we broke up, when he seals the deal
Teddy: You can tell them it’s because my dead grandmother could accidentally land a more painful punch the next time I make her turn in her grave?
Nancy: 😅 a somewhat traumatising visual but I like it
Teddy: [a rugby result whereby her bf’s team lost pathetically] isn’t surprising with him [in whatever position he plays], you could score in your [most ridiculous shoes she owns] before he or any of his friends are troubling anyone with their efforts
Nancy: I was going to ask you which one you fancied to be checking the scores but perhaps it’s someone on [the other team]?
Teddy: It was, but he’s less impressive off the pitch
Nancy: how relatable…
Nancy: I’m switching genres, I’m over rugby players
Teddy: Good for you
Nancy: Thank you
Nancy: as long as I get a new boyfriend before him, I win the breakup regardless
Teddy: Unlucky for you he already has [however many players are on a rugby team] boyfriends 💔
Nancy: Ha ha
Teddy: It’s very funny they’re seemingly unaware of what’s staring them in the face, I agree
Nancy: Not everyone is gay, sorry to say
Nancy: anyway, stop talking about him, you’ll depress me
Teddy: Retail therapy awaits you, remember?
Nancy: That was nice of you, even if you were buying my silence
Teddy: I’m under no illusion you’re capable of silence
Nancy: 😲😤😶
Teddy: Charades? But Christmas is months away
Nancy: 😈📝
Teddy: I do hope so
Teddy: Krampus obviously knows how to have a good time
Nancy: I lack the emojis for that conversation
Teddy: A tragedy
Nancy: You should bring it up with the next tech bro you meet
Teddy: Bold of you to assume I ever get a word in
Nancy: Ooh la la
Teddy: I meant because the only thing those bores do is talk your ear off about their ‘achievements’ & ‘goals’ 🥱
Nancy: Sadly I am all too aware, not who to go for until you’re ready to settle down and be disgustingly rich
Teddy: I am disgustingly rich, thank you
Nancy: You can always be more disgusting, duh
Teddy: Without needing to settle down or for anyone 
Nancy: Not even for half in the divorce?
Teddy: My brother can have the pleasure
Nancy: A kid each
Teddy: & G’s set for widow, there’s just happily married or eternally single remaining on the board
Nancy: You’ve made the right choice then, put like that
Teddy: I’d be a fool to attempt the former
Nancy: Tell me about it
Teddy: When they’re back from holiday, I’m sure I’ll have lots to tell you
Nancy: You must win Chlo back so she confides in you
Nancy: your brother is too smart for that
Teddy: I’m almost bored at the thought of how simple that’ll prove
Nancy: That is the effect she has, yes
Teddy: I have 0 clue how you were friends with her for years
Nancy: She’s easy to manipulate, and she makes pretty poor decisions without any need for my control, which could be amusing
Teddy: Still, other amusements must have been thin on the ground
Nancy: Everyone was more amusing than they are now, I suppose
Teddy: OR you were more easily entertained
Nancy: you’re going to make a case for my standards being higher now, are you?
Teddy: You’re right, I can’t
Teddy: how awkward
Nancy: I’ve never claimed otherwise, I’m bored most of the time, you know that
Teddy: Life is & we’re supposed to be content with that according to my family
Nancy: They would say that, awkward is right
Teddy: Which is why they’re muted
Nancy: that’s the only reason, is it
Teddy: What other reasons would there be?
Nancy: Not for me to say
Teddy: Okay, shh
Nancy: Don’t you want to talk about it?
Teddy: Talk about what?
Nancy: Your own dubious taste
Teddy: My taste is fantastic
Nancy: Okay
Teddy: Kindly go back to 😲😤😶
Teddy: maybe you’ll make more sense
Nancy: 💩👅🤡
Teddy: Ha ha
Nancy: 😷🤒
Teddy: Really? Because you sound jealous
Nancy: Of what?
Teddy: Exactly, stop being ridiculous
Nancy: I’m not!
Nancy: I have no idea what you’re talking about
Teddy: Okay
Nancy: Prick
Teddy: You started it
Nancy: And what
Teddy: & here are the consequences you’re always SO eager for
Nancy: Shut up, it’s not that serious
Teddy: A second ago you didn’t have the slightest idea what I was talking about
Nancy: Whatever, if you don’t want to be friends, we don’t have to be
Teddy: Suits me perfectly
Nancy: So glad I took time out of my day for you yesterday
Teddy: The first & last occasion you’ll be required to
Nancy: Doesn’t make it any less of a waste of my time but thanks
Teddy: Mine either, at least we’re even
Nancy: I really didn’t expect this from you
Teddy: Surprise! 
Nancy: Predictably dull
Teddy: Effort is for people I deem worthy of it, you know that
Nancy: Yes, how cute, as I said, you really are the first person to get a partner and feel the need to prove how loyal they are by cutting me out
Teddy: I waited the entire night for you, that’s how loyal I was
Teddy: watching the door like an idiot, thinking you’d care to come back
Nancy: I couldn’t!
Nancy: and if I had you would have been too busy anyway so what good would it have done me
Teddy: You cut me out first, how dare you try & turn it around
Nancy: You’ll never know now, you made your choice
Teddy: You made yours & he’ll be sick of you before my half term’s over, I’m being wildly generous giving days plural
Nancy: I had a boyfriend the entire time, he’s never been relevant
Teddy: He’s relevant when you choose him
Nancy: Actually, you’ve made my choice for me, I was way off
Nancy: you’re not mature enough to handle this, obviously, my bad
Teddy: You made a fool of me, I’m not doormat enough
Teddy: wrong brother, darling
Nancy: You’re a spoiled brat, is what you are
Nancy: why would you expect to be prioritised, for what?
Teddy: Look how soon your friend speech falls flat
Nancy: You don’t want to be, then we’re not
Teddy: I don’t want to be treated like that
Teddy: For what? Who?
Nancy: You saw me treat other people like that
Nancy: and I you
Teddy: No, you’re ashamed of me like I’m an immigrant pool cleaner or something
Nancy: You haven’t had your 16th yet, you have to understand that
Teddy: It’s [however long away it is, cos not far is what we’ve said so we can do it in this era sometime soon]
Nancy: I mean, legality is sorted but apart from that
Nancy: you know what people would call me
Teddy: I’ve fixed that too, no one is going to call you a thing now & you don’t need to see me before it’s legally appropriate to do so, or indeed, ever again, if you prefer
Nancy: You’ve made your feelings clear
Teddy: As have you
Nancy: You can’t handle being a secret, just so you don’t lead anyone else on by mistake in future, you should know
Teddy: I know myself & I’m not changing for you
Teddy: which is just as well, because I can’t magically become older
Nancy: I never asked you to
Teddy: You didn’t ask anything, you fucking walked out
Nancy: To save you getting punched in the other eye
Nancy: sorry that makes me an awful person, for giving a shit 
Teddy: That one wouldn’t hurt either, he’s awful at it, I told you
Nancy: It was going to be rather more of a group affair, his friends having spent all that time talking about what a prick you are
Nancy: why are you surprised it took me damn near all night to talk him off that idea, because it wasn’t all that secret, that’s why, it was too obvious
Teddy: I’d go to hospital at worst, it would be a longer holiday
Nancy: You can take all the holiday you want, don’t give me that
Teddy: Don’t give me a damsel in distress label, I’d be fine
Nancy: What kind of person would I be to let you get beat up
Teddy: You went there because you need everyone to think that you’re still with him, that you want to be, you didn’t do it for me specifically 
Nancy: It certainly wouldn’t hurt me avoiding the accusations
Nancy: you can read the messages if you want, I’m not lying
Teddy: If I was in the mood to read I’d be revising
Nancy: and I’m not lying, obviously they wanted to beat you up
Teddy: I remember
Nancy: You were purposefully insufferable
Teddy: At least it was my intention, they manage without trying
Nancy: I’m yet to be included in that ‘they’?
Teddy: I’ll gladly keep you two as a ‘we’ if that’s what you want, forgetting I’m aware you have any personality of your own
Nancy: As you kindly pointed out, any attempts at having that cover for myself were pretty futile
Teddy: We don’t both need one, as long as one of us has
Nancy: You think
Nancy: because I doubt anyone expects you to be loyal to [this gal], respectfully
Teddy: Perhaps I deserve that, but nevertheless, mean
Nancy: You’re sweet
Teddy: I can make myself appear loyal to her, to the point of having no doubters whatsoever
Nancy: Perhaps you can
Teddy: & you can get a new boyfriend
Nancy: Of course
Teddy: I overreacted, a little
Nancy: I am sorry that you waited, I don’t like to think of it
Teddy: I thought you were… I don’t even like to finish that sentence
Nancy: Don’t then, let’s not talk about it any more
Teddy: It isn’t being a secret, it’s the word no
Nancy: I understand, I wouldn’t call myself fond either, who is, when they want a yes
Teddy: I felt stupid & too vulnerable
Nancy: I swear I didn’t mean for you to
Teddy: But you’re capable of doing it, how disgusting is that?
Nancy: I see your point
Nancy: you’re hardly incapable, I feel like shit
Teddy: Do you?
Nancy: Yes, you were SO mean
Teddy: I had to be
Nancy: You did a pretty good job
Teddy: Thanks, alas my CV won’t reflect my true talents 
Nancy: Best start revising, right
Teddy: A revision of this conversation
Nancy: I would consider it a better use of your time but you did want me to be your sister earlier so
Teddy: YOU were determined to be
Nancy: I was meant to be nicer than her
Teddy: You have your moments, which is more than she has
Nancy: Still
Nancy: could do better
Teddy: Still, I’ll carry on waiting
Nancy: I wish I’d stayed
Teddy: But you couldn’t
Nancy: No, it would’ve ended bad for all of us
Teddy: I do understand
Teddy: however stubbornly I may have pretended otherwise
Nancy: I like how stubborn you are
Nancy: more when it’s working in my favour but can’t pick and choose
Teddy: You can, I’ll behave accordingly
Nancy: that is a nice thought
Teddy: I’ll be good
Nancy: Please tell me you’re alone and not with her like I feared
Teddy: I was for a while, but I promise she’s gone
Nancy: Whether I should trust that is up for debate but I still want to talk to you
Teddy: [send her a pic of you which doesn’t really prove you’re alone properly but you just want to anyway, getting the bruise in which is all her handiwork and not her bf’s]
Nancy: 🥺 your poor, poor face
Teddy: I know
Nancy: I really didn’t show any consideration whilst we were together, I get why that sounded false in hindsight
Teddy: I have no complaints in hindsight regarding what I was shown
Nancy: [send him a picture of the lovebite on your thigh]
Teddy: 🥺 I neglected the other side
Nancy: Playing favourites
Teddy: Your [whichever side it is, left or right] is especially incredible, true
Teddy: I’m as fond of the [other] though, having considered it
Nancy: It really happened, I would be fond of an unlimited amount of reminders of that fact, however they were presented to me
Teddy: I may keep last night’s outfit on until such a time, personally 
Nancy: You do look insanely handsome
Teddy: I wish I had a wardrobe consisting of pieces you’d decided on
Nancy: Fuck
Nancy: Let me spend the money you sent me on you?
Teddy: [send her some more, just cos]
Teddy: & that
Nancy: I know what I’m going to get you
Teddy: Let me guess, no spoilers?
Nancy: My lips are sealed
Teddy: Open them
Nancy: [a shameless selfie, wherever the hell you are now, doing as much]
Teddy: I’ve missed you so much
Nancy: I miss you more
Nancy: don’t ever say you don’t want to be my friend again
Teddy: I won’t, I really need a friend like you
Nancy: Better friend than enemy, I promise
Teddy: Perhaps I’ll ignore the saying & keep you closer anyway
Nancy: People don’t know what they’re talking about
Nancy: but I know how I feel when I’m close to you
Teddy: It’s undeniable
Nancy: I can’t deny myself any more than I can deny you
Teddy: Can’t & won’t
Nancy: I’ll behave too, exactly as you wish
Teddy: Then I’m happy now
Nancy: Show me
Teddy: [do, I hope you’re at home because being indecent regardless clearly with no fucks given, so a clothed pic of how turned on he is, as a reminder of when she was touching him before we cockblocked]
Nancy: 😁😁😁
Teddy: Show me
Nancy: [send him your deranged heart eyes]
Teddy: & smile
Nancy: [again, nothing to see here]
Teddy: [send her your hottest hot lol]
Nancy: Are you being nice or are you being mean, it could be both
Teddy: It’s both because you want both
Nancy: Badly
Nancy: it’s obscene
Teddy: I’ll send extra money to clean up [the shop or shops we’re guessing she’s headed to for this shopping spree]’s floors
Nancy: I am upset you aren’t here to pin me to it first
Nancy: very, actually
Teddy: You’d lose focus & I’d have nothing to wear
Teddy: literally, when this outfit is totally ruined by you taking out your upset on it
Nancy: but you like it, you like the reminder it left you, the ability to remember me whilst you’re still wearing it
Teddy: Which is why I asked for more, clothes, reminders, memories, everything 
Nancy: Best stop distracting me then, boy, so I can get them all for you
Nancy: without getting kicked out of [the shops we plan to go to, to show you how many you got right with your guess]
Teddy: You said you want to talk to me
Nancy: And I do
Nancy: but is your mind so truly one-track, I wonder…
Teddy: Spending the night with your soon-to be ex blessed solely with a single shared brain cell is no reason to doubt me
Nancy: I’m certainly not going to miss his conversation, thankfully I don’t have to pretend that
Teddy: How exhausting
Nancy: You have no idea, darling
Nancy: no girl could ever be as dull, you’re so fortunate
Teddy: Boys don’t have to be, it’s your terrible taste
Nancy: I wish that were true
Teddy: It is
Nancy: Maybe gays are a tad more interesting, again, all your luck
Teddy: We can’t be friends if you’re going to mope the entire time
Nancy: I’m not
Nancy: my heartbreak is fresh, you have to allow me at least a fortnight of drinking about it, if you’re any kind of friend
Teddy: I refuse to allow you to be heartbroken over him
Nancy: then how are you going to cheer me up, bestie?
Teddy: A fortnight’s worth of drinking in 1 night, if you insist
Nancy: I really do
Teddy: [name her fave bar or club as a suggestion because of course you just know that nbd]?
Nancy: When are you sending a car?
Teddy: When you’ve finished shopping, have you?
Nancy: No, I’m having too much fun
Nancy: and I had to come from [wherever this boyfriend lives for uni because you purely want to tell him so he shades it even though there’s nothing wrong with it, giving rich boy pretending to not be for the uni experience as they are want to do]
Teddy: I’ve changed my mind, I don’t wish to be seen with you if anyone has seen you in [wherever that place is, when it’s clearly not the slum he’s pretending it is haha]
Nancy: Rude!
Nancy: you know that no one YOU know has ever stepped foot in [this location]
Teddy: You wouldn’t have agreed had I suggested [somewhere his friends always go and thus we are shading as being beneath her], I do possess more than a singular brain cell
Nancy: I can’t believe you’re passing on an opportunity to ask me what it’s like getting back to my roots
Teddy: I’d adore the opportunity to be able to say I can’t believe you’re slumming it in [this location] for someone like that, but I wholeheartedly can & do
Nancy: Why?
Teddy: Your famously low standards
Nancy: Ha
Teddy: Who’s next?
Nancy: I haven’t decided yet, I don’t rush these things
Teddy: What about [the biggest pisstake of the most unsuitable person he can think of]?
Nancy: If you’re rethinking your own decision, there’s still time
Teddy: I’m not
Nancy: then I’m not taking suggestions from you
Teddy: But [some other pisstakey suggestion] is OBSESSED with you
Nancy: You’re obsessed with me, shut up
Teddy: You’re sulking again, you brought her up, don’t if it’s going to make you 💔
Nancy: I’m shopping, not sulking
Teddy: Multitasking, well done
Nancy: [stop replying, in a totally non-sulky manner lol]
Teddy: Oh come on
Nancy: Do you need something?
Teddy: You loathe time alone, why put yourself through it?
Nancy: You’re not my only option for company
Teddy: I’m the best option
Teddy: or you wouldn’t be this jealous about the company I’m keeping
Nancy: Don’t confuse pity with jealousy
Teddy: I haven’t
Nancy: Okay, babe
Teddy: I understand, Theo was easily confused, but naming aside, that’s where the similarities end
Nancy: You aren’t special
Teddy: You aren’t convincing anyone, least of all me
Nancy: Your delusion your problem
Teddy: A fantastic slogan for the people of [the place her bf lives that we’ll never stop shading]
Nancy: It’s fine, whilst you’ve been going on and on, I’ve had time to think who I want next
Teddy: Who’s it to be?
Nancy: I’d rather see if you guess
Teddy: [do some silly guesses while you think about it seriously]?
Nancy: 🙄🥱🤢
Teddy: My thoughts exactly when you confirm it’s [a correct guess, because why not, they think alike, I can believe he’s capable of it]
Nancy: [me here like well it’s your brother so would you actually guess that because she has no chance lmao hence we’re not telling you]
Nancy: What’s wrong with [his guess, who clearly is who it will end up actually being]?
Teddy: [me CACKLING, because imagine, you’ve been there and tried that girl, your brother cockblocked you then hun and your sister is now so good luck, but love that he’s clearly picked whatever dude it is going to be and is thus giving her an actual true tea list of everything he thinks is wrong with this man, don’t mind us being salty as per usual]
Nancy: but he [and list everything you think is right which is undoubtedly shallow and materialistic, duh]
Teddy: He & most of Chelsea
Nancy: So it doesn’t matter
Teddy: Your future boyfriend, your future headache
Teddy: none of it matters to me
Nancy: You’re all the same to me
Teddy: As you’re desperate to point out
Nancy: I wouldn’t want you to get ideas
Teddy: Because you can’t say no to my ideas
Nancy: It was always my idea, so what are you talking about?
Teddy: You haven’t had a good idea of your own since [something so long ago and not a big thing, a little thing, because I’ve always gotta give away how long he’s been interested and how observant he is of everything she does, even while shading her]
Nancy: UM excuse me, whose parties were they
Nancy: you are so welcome for your little meet-cute
Teddy: You’re hardly [someone who throws Elton John style amazing parties but for this era]
Nancy: I don’t live with my parents, that one-ups you by default, child
Teddy: Yours don’t want you under their roof, it isn’t the flex you think it is
Nancy: Neither is your weird mother so don’t be rude
Nancy: I wouldn’t dream of living at home
Teddy: I’m legally obligated, as you said
Teddy: but I wouldn’t rush to live alone if the effect it has upon me is similar to the one it’s had on you
Nancy: I already said that too, momma’s boy
Teddy: You’d like her
Nancy: I don’t like you anymore
Teddy: Why?
Nancy: You’re being mean
Teddy: You were crueller first, you always are
Nancy: I didn’t say anything
Teddy: Precisely, you’ve been ignoring me, thinking about [this man she’s going to date next]
Nancy: You started that
Teddy: No I didn’t
Nancy: Her socks look ridiculous
Teddy: Well, I’m yet to dress her, it isn’t my fault
Nancy: Ugh
Teddy: Take it up with [whichever designer made those socks], frankly
Nancy: Why would I? The worse everyone else looks the better I do
Teddy: Ditto, not that I need the help
Nancy: Good, you’re not getting any
Teddy: Have you forgotten you’re shopping for me as we speak?
Nancy: No shit, this is getting regifted
Teddy: Nancy
Nancy: Don’t
Teddy: Don’t be like this
Nancy: Fine, maybe I’ll keep it but I have no reason to come see you now
Teddy: Yes you do
Nancy: You should take your girlfriend
Teddy: Fine, if that’s what you want
Nancy: I’m not telling you what to do
Teddy: What I should
Nancy: Why don’t you want to?
Teddy: I’ve already seen her
Nancy: Right
Teddy: Meet me
Nancy: That’s not a good enough reason for me
Teddy: You know what my reasons are
Nancy: I’m not interested in being second choice
Teddy: You aren’t
Nancy: Just start being nice
Teddy: That goes both ways, Nance
Nancy: I was being nice, too nice, if anything
Teddy: So was I
Nancy: I need more [some kind of happy drug, you know the vibes]
Teddy: [send her some more money how you do]
Nancy: I’m avoiding [the dealers that were at your party that you obviously owe money lol]
Nancy: Who else do you know?
Teddy: [tell her because I’m sure you have some different peeps you know cos of your age diff]
Nancy: 😘
Teddy: [when I just know he’s gonna go and see those dealers and pay off her debts without even saying anything, oh sir]
Teddy: You’re welcome, darling
Nancy: [you lowkey don’t deserve it but it’s also very sweet in y’alls way, I’m sure you’ll find out when these men get in contact or you do again]
Teddy: [his appearance is a dead giveaway in his Draco hair era and also who else would, so yeah, I have no doubt you’ll find out at some point]
Nancy: I’ll be nice
Teddy: Once the [drugs] kick in
Nancy: Testing me immediately, I see…
Teddy: I’m just playing
Nancy: I like playing with you
Teddy: That is nice to hear
Nancy: It better be, I’ll be ever so bored if you swear off being the entertainment ever again
Teddy: Me too
Nancy: Don’t get boring
Teddy: That’s your most hurtful comment by far
Nancy: I’m asking you not to, not claiming you have yet
Teddy: I couldn’t possibly, the implication I might is outrageous
Nancy: No one would be more devastated than me
Teddy: I would & I promise not to do it to either of us
Nancy: No, I’d be more, trust me
Teddy: The last thing I want is to truly devastate you
Nancy: Is it?
Nancy: that’s very nice of you, Teddy
Teddy: Of course
Nancy: But what’s the first thing you want?
Teddy: Oh now that would be telling, wouldn’t it?
Nancy: Yes
Teddy: I’m shocked you need to be told
Nancy: Perhaps I just want it
Teddy: Perhaps I’d like you to guess
Nancy: Oh that’s too easy to be fun
Teddy: Humour me, you adore games
Nancy: Very well 
Nancy: You want your gifts, of course
Teddy: & are you going to give them to me?
Nancy: Ask for them nicely and I’ll consider it 
Teddy: Please
Nancy: Please? Try again, try harder
Teddy: Pretty please? 
Nancy: Better
Teddy: So? Will I be rewarded?
Nancy: I said better, not right 
Teddy: 🥺💔
Nancy: I’ll give you another try, best of three is customary 
Teddy: I don’t know how to beg, I’m afraid
Nancy: Spoilsport
Teddy: Quite, but I was just never trained for it
Nancy: Talking about your wealth doesn’t inspire gifting, sugar baby 101 there
Teddy: Paying for them yourself, as I have, makes it redundant anyway, I would think
Nancy: Eugh, see, I don’t want to give you anything now
Nancy: talk of money is so cheap, it’s not the point at all
Teddy: It was you who mentioned money in the first place
Nancy: You, with your acting as if you’re above begging
Nancy: you just haven’t met the right person yet
Teddy: I simply meant that my father wouldn’t be able to stomach me rolling on mine for anyone else, it isn’t a wealth issue
Nancy: I’m sure he does
Teddy: He’s a crawling contradiction, naturally
Teddy: but I don’t do it for him & I genuinely wouldn’t have the slightest clue how
Nancy: Well, there’s no fun in being confined to either role constantly, is there
Nancy: it doesn’t matter, you can have this stuff anyway
Teddy: Keep it, I’ve spoiled yours
Nancy: It’s not that serious
Teddy: Then don’t make such a big deal of it & do as you’re told instead
Nancy: This is all men’s stuff, what will I do with it
Teddy: Buy your new boyfriend, the deal must be sweetened somehow
Nancy: Excuse me
Teddy: You know, like a dowry
Nancy: Are you attempting humour again?
Teddy: It’s a solution as well as being amusing
Nancy: Fuck you
Teddy: You’re so very sensitive today, it’s almost as though you don’t want to think of me when you’re with him
Nancy: Of course I don’t
Nancy: do you think he’s going to want to wear anything you would
Teddy: Why not?
Nancy: Your taste is eclectic, as I’m still being nice
Teddy: My taste is still fantastic, despite how often you keep trying to insist otherwise
Nancy: [this dude] is more manly
Teddy: You’ll hurt my feelings in a minute
Nancy: It’s just factual, your style is more androgynous 
Teddy: His masculinity is that fragile, you mean
Nancy: There’s no need to be offended
Teddy: I’m not, the fact is, I can dress how I want, fuck how & whoever I like, that’s what being a real man is
Teddy: he wishes
Nancy: Okay
Nancy: [his socials] because I don’t know why you’re giving me this rousing speech right now
Teddy: Because your niceness doesn’t last, you’re hoping to upset me again
Nancy: I’m really not but who’s fault would it be if I were
Teddy: Your own
Nancy: It’s yours
Teddy: No it isn’t
Nancy: I don’t need to buy anyone
Teddy: It was a joke
Nancy: Whatever it was, you don’t want them anymore, you’re not getting them, end of conversation
Teddy: You’re impossible
Nancy: You don’t even know what you want
Teddy: A lie, I knew perfectly well, I no longer want it, that’s all
Nancy: That’s what I just said
Teddy: I’m aware of that, I just read it
Nancy: Then don’t call me impossible for it if you’re going to repeat it back to me
Teddy: You are & talking to you also is
Nancy: Then why are you still here?
Teddy: Fantastic point, I’ll be off
Nancy: You’re a prick, you just flipped for no reason
Teddy: No reason you can fathom, obviously
Nancy: Why do you enjoy wasting my time
Teddy: I don’t
Nancy: That’s how it’s starting to feel
Teddy: Don’t worry, I’m going, this afternoon is yours to waste yourself
Nancy: Great, thanks so much
Teddy: [do actually piss off boy, however long that lasts lol]
Nancy: [that went well lads lol]
Teddy: [always a rollercoaster with y’all, never know what we’re gonna get]
Nancy: [me thinking how you’re going to start trying to finesse James when he’s back and DYING, thank god he’d never tell Teddy]
Teddy: [lord, we simply must do a convo between them so we can cackle ourselves to death because of his lack of interest]
Nancy: [it’s so embarrassing but we must because she just would]
Teddy: [do you wanna do that next for funsies? Or is there anyone else we should do first?]
Nancy: [I think we can probably go to that next, y’all will be home soon enough]
Teddy: [post this then boo, as much as I could keep on doing these fools forever we’re almost at another 30 here]
Nancy: [we can always then go back to y’all, whenever you end up talking, it’s whatever we want]
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