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nobodyroboty · 5 months

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a (tentative?) rec list.

Tarot club+

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38837736 - Mysterious world’s got Talent

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48788674 - Behind the scene, It Was All A Movie AU

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34300597 - A space you can’t leave without XX, Arrodes forces the tarot club to share embarrassment moments (Mandarin)

Gehrman & co

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36278455 - Cheers! , Gehrman gets drunk, Gehrman & golden dream co

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49488802 - kjære venn, Alger makes a mistake during a mission, Alger & Gehrman, angst

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34937725 - Unexpected reunion, Danitz, Benson, Melissa

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46399726 - Klein Moretti on the sea, Klein goes on a mini vacation for his own sanity. (Mandarin)

Klein & Melissa

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36459721 - A wish that cannot be granted, Melissa bumps into Merlin

Lofter fics -

https://xiaoxiaoxiaoxiaoxiao490.lofter.com/post/1f5b6d65_2ba811f3a Make a wish once, Melissa bumps into Merlin

Returning home

https://kapuayi.lofter.com/post/1dd476be_1c772dac9 pt1

https://kapuayi.lofter.com/post/1dd476be_1c8c8542f pt2

https://kapuayi.lofter.com/post/1dd476be_1c947e99b pt3

fool & world(s) -

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49481674 - Universal cat distribution system, modern AU

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45438715 - Ancient God and his blessed ones, Fool adopted his other identities

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50510632 - The scientist and the robot, Fool creates a robot, angst

Klein & Klein(s) -

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3192888 - Daily life of cat worms, series

Klein & Tianzun -

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46566379 - Path of least resistance, Klein & Tianzun reach truce

Klein & Azik

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47151802 - Claws and Effect, Klein turns into a cat by accident

https://letefaux.lofter.com/post/1db33eaf_1c91ed9de - Waiting for spring, Azik reads all the letters Klein sent him, and responds with some of his own

Klein/Azik

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27116716 - Our own Ocean, College AU (Mandarin)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26229157 - pale, if Azik chose option 2 (Mandarin)

Klein & Leonard

Lofter fic,

Cat bug battle - Klein turns into 600 marionettes. Leonard, Audrey, Melissa, Benson, unfinished

https://kapuayi.lofter.com/post/1dd476be_1c7310a2c pt 1

https://kapuayi.lofter.com/post/1dd476be_1c736204c pt2

https://kapuayi.lofter.com/post/1dd476be_1c7603122 pt3

Klein/Leonard

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43292967 - If I could do it all over again, Time travel fix it, longer fic, ongoing

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3626857 - series of fics, containing Tingen what-ifs, in modern day AU, spy AU, and Gerhman & Hunter duo (Mandarin)

Misc

https://href.li/?https://archiveofourown.org/works/50666587 - Black haze, LOTM reimagined to have more horror, steampunk, mystery

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44491129 - What non-LOTM readers will never understand, a summary of lotm that gradually drives a nail into your heart

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23961289 - Confessions of a fool, Retelling of lotm, ABO no pairings, world building instead (Mandarin)

https://s12w91.lofter.com/post/1d42c155_1cb679879. - If the mysterious plot were reversed, instead of Zhou Mingrui -> Fool, Fool -> Zhou Mingrui

#lord of the mysteries #Lotm fic recs #If you want more recs for something or other I could probably add more #Just ask #A few of these fit under more than one label

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charlunday · 2 months

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NEW COMMISSION INFO POST! ✨️✨️

Hello all. Seeing as I love you so much, I've decided to update my commission info. I still accept Venmo and Paypal! I just wanted to add new examples and such. So here they are:

$100 will get you something like this:

Ooh, fancy, dynamic, multiple characters, rendered, full background! ✨️

$50 looks like this:

Multiple characters, semi rendered, minimal background! ✨️

Don't worry! If your budget is lower, you can still get something like this, just $20:

More like a doodle, mostly flat color, minimal background!

Thank you SO SO much to everyone that's already supported me. I've had so much fun making art for you guys!

If you're interested in commissioning me, shoot me a message! I'm super approachable, I promise. I'll tag all the fandoms I'm willing to draw for, and I will also draw OCs! In fact, I'd love to!

Now... go under the cut if you're interested in spice...

I WILL DRAW SMUT! In fact, I would quite like to. I've just yet to find an excuse. Please give me that excuse!

I won't post a particularly smutty example, so I don't get nuked by tumblr, but something like this would run you $50-$100 (depending on complexity:

Thanks for reading, and good luck out there.

#i should really start an art tag #the hunger games #six of crows #grishaverse #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #everlark #snowbaird #percabeth #helnik #kanej #wesper #ill do other fandoms too!#just ask #anyway i love you guys #commission post

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theasexual-jackson · 1 month

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I'm genderfluid. Which means sometimes I'll be a boy. In other times, I'll be a girl. And some other times, I will be neither, or both! My gender will always be changing and I'll not be a single something forever. But, do you know what I'll always be?

#someone please reblog this asking “what”#Just do it I promise #just ask #trans #transgender #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer #nonbinary #genderfluid #genderfluidity #genderfluid pride #genderfluid positivity #genderfluid jokes

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kedicatt-cotl · 11 months

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Small thought I had about Leshy, mayhaps the reason behind him being the only Bishop (in game) who didn't target Lambs cult in anyway. Is because while he is the Bishop of Chaos, he is actually very kind to mortals (during his time as a god)

Heket causes Famine, Kallamar causes Plague, Shamura causes Infighting, while Leshy? Leshy doesn't go for Lambs' followers. Given him being the representative of Chaos, you'd think he'd do something terrible to the cult in some way but no. He just focuses on the Lamb whenever they enter Darkwood. In fact, he is the only one we actively see command his followers in person (Amdusias)

Just wanted to share this thought with someone, love the AU and the characters!

I like to imagine that, indirectly, Leshy does cause chaos.

When Lamb dies in his expedition to Darkwood and is returned to his cult of 5 followers who are hungry and ready to get up and leave tomorrow because their beds broke down a week ago and Lamb didn't have the resources to get them fixed, isn't this the true chaos?

And Leshy doesn't even have to do anything for that to happen. That is, in fact, the true power.

Jokes aside, I'm not too sure how kind Leshy is to mortals canonically... I think I heard something implying he used to eat people or something (unless I just completely made that one up, that could have happened too), but then again regardless if that is true or not, it's not like we know much enough about the other bishops to judge which of them really was the kindest.

And also, TY!! :D

#not baabaa kids #it could be if you squint #but it's not really implied to be that #cult of the lamb #cotl #cult of the lamb art #cotl art #cotl lamb #just ask

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vivitheanimaxen · 4 months

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there's another ranchers/zits/giggs au story concept in my head i've been playing with, so let's-- just call this a demo.

Feel free to send asks or just give general feedback, not only will it help me to flesh out the au more, it'll also give me more ideas on where to go. I've seen similar aus out there, but nothing quite like this one-- or having all the same concepts as this one. If people like it, I might turn it into an actual longfic. but i tend to run out of steam on my longfics (mostly due to a lack of interaction tbh. if no one else is excited about my au, then it's not worth pursuing, right? but that's my problem and something I have to work through myself, not something for anyone else to fix)

Anyway.

This is a thing.

The moment Jimmy laid eyes on Tango, he knew something was-- off-- about him.

They'd met him in a tavern, in the small town that lay below the abandoned Deepfrost Citadel. Jimmy's adventuring troupe had been commissioned with finding an artifact in the Citadel, and bringing it back to its rightful owner. The bounty offered would be enough to pay off the troupe's debts and much much more. When they'd asked around for any sort of maps, or a guide, the tavern keeper had pointed them over to Tango.

"He's the only one to have ever made it out of that cursed place alive." The dwarf had told them, pointing to where their future guide was sitting in the corner, "If you want a guide, he's the only one who can."

Jimmy's sense for danger had shivered up his spine and stolen his breath the moment he looked over. But-- no one in his troupe paid any attention to him anyway.

Besides, the negotiations had gone well, Tango seemed amical enough, and no one else seemed to have a problem with him. It was only Jimmy, and his overzealous avian anxiety. They would pay Tango half his fee up front, and half when they got back to the village safely.

It took them half a week to get up to the Citadel, and that was with the help and knowledge of Tango as their guide. Jimmy kept him at arms' length, not quite knowing why but deciding to trust his gut on this one. Tango was dangerous, in a way that he couldn't figure out. He'd brought it up to the others in his troupe, but none of them believed him. They all loved Tango. He was clever, quick to laugh and even quicker to crack a joke, and ever so useful.

By the time they made it to the door of the Citadel, Tango had become an invaluable member of the troupe.

Tango disappeared that first night, spent barricaded in an outlying tower and hoping not to freeze to death. Jimmy had been on watch, and between one glance and the next, Tango hadn't been in his bedroll anymore.

But-- he'd been right back in the morning, acting like Jimmy didn't know what he was talking about.

It was the little things that kept setting Jimmy on edge. Tango knew a little too much about the Citadel, he'd found the 'hidden' door to the crypts too easily, had pushed the troupe to descend into the depths faster than was safe, not letting them scout it with a familiar like they normally would. He could pick the locks almost like he had a silent knock spell in his fingers, and somehow knew his way through the maze of icy caverns like the back of his hand.

And every night, after everyone was asleep, he disappeared. Jimmy was the only one who noticed. No one else believed him either, did they just-- not notice the empty bedroll when they were on watch?

When they finally believed him, it wasn't until Tango disappeared for good. One morning, he just-- didn't come back.

Then the monsters started appearing.

One thing lead to another as they pressed deeper and deeper into the dungeon under the Citadel, icy crypts full of wraiths and furry beasts morphing into wet caverns covered in mushrooms and a pirate ship complete with it's undead crew; leading down into black mines that had supposedly been blocked off by cave ins over a hundred years ago-- and before they knew it they'd lost a member of the troupe-- their healer-- and then they were tripping tail over teakettle into a maze so dark and cold that even those in the troupe with darkvision couldn't see.

It spat them out into a chamber not unlike the throne room found mirrored high above in the Deepfrost Citadel. It was full of gold and magic and things that would make any adventurer drool at the prospect of having them to keep.

Jimmy hadn't felt 'safe'-- not since he'd first met Tango in that tavern all those weeks ago-- but the sense of someone watching them stayed his hand.

The rest of the troupe had gotten busy, plundering everything in reach and searching for the artifact they'd been sent to collect.

But not Jimmy.

When asked why he wasn't stuffing his pockets with gold, he waved off the troupe with the excuse of keeping watch. After all, there were the monsters to contend with still--

Tango's giggle seemed to come from everywhere at once.

"Oh, you really should have listened to poor, sweet Jimmy when you had the chance~"

And suddenly Tango was there, on the throne in the center of the room, but instead of the blond, brown-eyed and rough-hewn guide they'd come to know and trust, it was a creature made of frost and shadows.

Jimmy's heart dropped out his stomach.

"Dragon--!"

Oh, they were dead.

Scratch that. Apparently everyone but Jimmy was dead.

Not like that was much better.

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vernalseason · 2 years

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Here's why I'm so goddamn feral about The Bear.

I ran an ice cream store for about five years. No, it wasn’t fine dining, it wasn’t even a restaurant, but it was still food service. We were in a vacation town, and our place was the only ice cream store in the area, and the ice cream was GOOD. Customers used to ask me all the time if I got sick of eating it and I’d say no, and I meant it. It was reasonably fancy as ice cream goes, with some pretty out-there flavors, but mostly it was just GOOD. Super flavorful, dense but not chewy the way that some ice creams get where it feels like it’s stretching unnaturally when you pull your spoon away…

Point is, it was an ice cream shop in a tourist town, and in the summer we got killed during service every single night. Nonstop lines from 7 til 12 or 1 in the morning, no breaks. We got after-dinner crowds, after-show crowds, hordes of camp kids a busload at a time, and it might not have been fine dining but we worked HARD. We had 8, 9, 10 people on peak days all scooping, cleaning, making milkshakes (which is The Worst, in case you were curious), restocking by running down rickety definitely-not-to-code stairs to our tiny walk-in and hauling ice cream up 4 boxes at a time—because goddamn it, time was valuable and running up and down the stairs sucked and no one was going to go down multiple times when you could just grab 4 at a time and grit your teeth and shove them onto the counter upstairs feeling like you’d just benched your own body weight.

At the start of the summer, Memorial Day weekend, we were at our absolute peak. Following a truly herculean hiring effort aided by the promise of unlimited free ice cream, we had a crew of 20-odd overcaffeinated teenagers and twentysomethings who were working a truly awe-inspiring pace to kill the line. My favorite moments were, variously:

Being so busy I had to run two registers simultaneously, waiting for Square to process a transaction on one (chip card readers were murderously slow in the early days) while taking cash on the other;

Absolutely shattering every store record on a Saturday night with a skeleton crew and getting approval to order 12AM pizza on the company card, and taking a long, long hour to eat before we finally had to get around to scrubbing the calcified ice cream off the floors;

Gearing up to call for a restock on spoons, napkins, and other such necessities only to find that my assistant manager was behind me with a milk crate of those very things;

And so on.

There was about a month and a half of beautiful, well-staffed, smooth-running time before things frayed at the edges. Suddenly the factory couldn't get enough ingredients, since the company was chronically broke (turns out wholesale ice cream is a bad idea, folks; retail is where it's at), or the store walk-in broke down and we had to resort to chest freezers for storage for a month, or, most commonly, we started losing staff. I was always after the owner of the company to hire more year-round full-time staff, but there was always something more urgent for him to spend money on, like rent. So inevitably our staff would start leaving for college, and we'd be left with about half to a third of the staff we really needed to run. Which is when things started getting bad.

There are only so many doubles you can work before you start losing your grip on reality. I recall one day in August when I was somehow, improbably, the only person available to fill an entire day of shifts, and worked from 9AM pre-open to 11PM at night. The only thing that I remember is that the tips were phenomenal. But by Labor Day weekend we were down to our last seasonal staff and the entire core crew had worked at least two doubles that week and we limped into the off season with about two remaining brain cells between us.

Anyway. This post was supposed to be about The Bear.

I've never seen a show—or at least, never seen a FICTIONAL show—that so deeply understands what it means to be in food service. I watched the first episode in absolute awe of how they captured the intensity—just GOING until you get a moment to yourself in the bathroom, in the walk-in, in the office. And when you slow down, you think about how tired you are. How burnt out. How much all you really want is just to sit, maybe eat a slice of pizza, and stare into space for an hour. But then you go back out, and you get back to work.

I've also never seen a show that so accurately captures what it looks like and feels like to be a manager. Carmy losing his temper, giving in to that righteous anger in 'Review'—how DARE you not cover your station, how DARE you leave me with this mess that you created—I've been there. I'm not proud of it. I didn't punch a ticket printer, or scream in anyone's face, but I lost my cool, and that sticks with me. You don't get to take it back. You apologize (even if you were right), you patch things up, but no one ever really forgets.

But the show also does justice to one of the great joys of the service industry: getting to see people improve. One of my favorite subplots is Tina going from sabotaging Sydney to respecting her, trusting her, defending her. But mostly, it's my favorite because we see her get BETTER. She goes from just holding down her station to being a pro, from throwing things together to being careful, and thoughtful, and focused. And that moment when Tina says 'thank you, chef', and means it, really MEANS it, that's the kind of thing that gets me all teary. Because it's so much more than just 'thank you', but you'd have spend a hell of a lot longer to get it all out.

I guess if I was going to trace my rabid and, so far undiminished love of the show to a single thing, it would be the fact that it makes me feel seen. I haven't done that much reading on the people who made the show, but enough of them clearly lived this life or got close enough to it that they understand what it does to people, and what it requires of them. I loved working in food service, and sometimes I even miss it. I loved getting to make people's days, to give kids their first-ever ice cream, to feel like people were leaving in a better mood than they came in. And I met my partners through this life, all three of them, which is as exactly as wild and improbable as it sounds. But every time I look back on it fondly, I make myself remember that it was miserable too. The late nights, the early mornings, the days off cut short by delivering emergency stock or jumping in to cover a shift or just ending back up at the shop out of habit. The crushed toes and ragged wrist tendons and hoarse throats, the constant phone calls or checking sales to try and anticipate if we needed more staff. The sensation that after service, the rest of the world was dim in comparison.

I sank so much time and energy into that life, and I think the last thing I love about The Bear, the other thing that makes me tear up a little bit, is that for them it turns out alright in the end. They work through the problems, they make things run smooth, and they get the chance to build the place they dreamed about. That was always what I wanted, what I was working toward—the chance to make things better. And even in fiction, it makes me happy to see that come true.

#the bear #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto #sydney adamu #jeremy allen white #ayo edebiri #retail #service #service industry #in service #my work #writing #I should talk more about this part of my life actually #and if you want to know more #just ask

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sweeetestcurse · 4 months

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Can't believe I have to say this, but if you want to use gifs I've made for things (like the header of your blog, or for your fic, or something of the sort), ask. Literally, just ask. I'm cool with it if you ask and give me credit.

Gifs take time and effort, don't take mine for granted.

#this just keeps happening and i'm tired #gifs don't just spontaneously form from the ether #i've spent literal hours and sometimes days not only recording the footage for the gifs but then making them #just ask

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what-a-strange-moth · 8 months

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wilhelmsbee · 3 months

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Okay honestly? I'll just take you up on that offer because I'm obsessed with your edits in general, but if you ever feel like talking some more about that Wilhelm edit you did to the song Ribs by Lorde??? Would love that because that edit lives rent-free in my head! (no pressure though, I just like the idea of like... director's commentary or something for edits haha)

I HOPE EVERYONE IS READY FOR ME TO BE INSANELY DEEP ABOUT THIS EDIT OH MY GOD

preface: i talk ab why i chose each scene for the lyrics, then colouring/font, idk if this is the directors commentary you wanted but like this is how I think about all my edits

We're reeling through the midnight streets- initially, I actually wanted to start it on the this dream isn't feeling sweet line but it just didn't fit in instagrams 1-minute time frame ANYWAY This scene has always been the most painful to me. Wilhelm realises at this moment that he's truly, undeniably alone in his life. Everyone he trusts (or is supposed to trust) has left him, and he has nobody left to go to. He's alone, going through his own personal hell, finding out his only family cares more about public perception than him as a person. It's like the beginning of the worst spiral we see from Wilhelm. Its quite a literal scene-to-lyric moment, but also the we're part feels (to me) like him-as-well-as his public self. Crown Prince Wilhelm and Wille are such separate parts, and its all he has left.

And I've never felt more alone- The THERAPY SCENE! Specifically this is the I think it's better not knowing how it could feel scene, because that truly is the most heartbreaking viewpoint I've ever seen from a character. It was better not being in love because I couldn't miss it. He might be getting closer to the other boys in the secret society, as well as Felice, but he's not really breaking past the surface level with anyone. Not even Felice knows the depths of his pain, he keeps it all to himself. The loneliness crushes him, he wishes he didn't know how love felt. As far as he's concerned, he's never loving someone else again (true) and he's never going to be able to love Simon again (false). In this moment there's this feeling of emptiness. He has nothing he actually cares about, and he wishes that he never cared in the first place.

It feels so scary, getting old- He wasn't supposed to fill this role, giving a speech as the Crown Prince of Sweden about his brother's passing. Wilhelm's character (obviously) fundamentally switches after Erik's death. He used to be a lot sillier, more reckless and more willing to fight back against his parents. But now he's got every single eye on him, watching him. Put into an adult role at the age of sixteen, forced to carry the burden of spare his whole childhood, then suddenly forced to be the sole heir. Even if he had planned to maybe one day be the heir (which he didn't, judging by the he should be here instead of me comment) it wasn't supposed to happen until he was older and wiser. He stops acting like a kid because he can't be a kid anymore. The cuts between the frog/getting the frog/breaking the globe aimed to emphasise this. He's lost all connection to his brother, he's in a place he didn't expect to be until he was extremely old (if ever), and he's lost control of his own life.

We can talk it so good, we can make it so divine, we can talk it good how we wish it would be all the time- I wanted to frame Simon in this as a sort of healthy distraction for Wilhelm. He was the only person in his life who actually looked out for him and cared. They're happy and they're smiling, all the clips are intimate even if there's someone else there. It highlights how they care. It's good, it's divine. It's what kept him happy after the hardest thing in his life (so far). In this edit, he desperately wants it back because he knows how much it helped. It was the only bright thing he had. The cutting to Wilhelm alone in s2 after how we wish it would be all the time just aims to really enforce that he wished it was still like that, wishing for someone who truly cared and loved him. It's all yearning, pining, wishing things were better. Every single clip is a clip in which Wilhelm has been pining over Simon. There's an ache he expresses that was just so, so important to this edit.

This dream isn't feeling sweet- Lots of clips of Wilhelm trying to process things. He's been forced to change his entire life, after all being a prince is a privilege, not a punishment. The 'dream' of being royal crushes him, despite the fact he can't ever voice it. Walking down the halls of his castle, sitting in his private boarding school therapy session with an actual therapist, being driven home in a private car from the party where he was filmed fighting. These luxuries juxtaposed with his actual circumstances hurt. He can't complain because he's got it best in the country, but it isn't a system designed for him, it doesn't want to help him, it wants to make him conform. It isn't fair, but he can't say that.

We're reeling through the midnight streets- He's forcing himself to try and fit the mould while also being himself, and all it causes is pain. He's actively fighting against the institution he was raised in simply by existing. The panic attack from being perceived holding Simon's hand. Deleting his contact after his mother told him 'no more mistakes.' Trying to play nice at the dinner table even though his whole life was crumbling around him and the institution was failing everyone even though nobody believed him. The panic attack/anxiety vomit from Simon going public, against Wilhelm's institution, knowing that he might not be able to protect him. He's got no control in any of these scenes, its a desperate fight against himself. He's a publicity risk to his own family if he is true to himself, and he's a risk to himself if he isn't.

And I've never felt more alone- Desperately trying to comfort himself when nobody else can (or wants to) comfort him. After the fight at the party all his family cared about was the PR response. When August said that Simon would take the fall for the drugs, all he cared about was getting Alexander back. During the uniform tailoring, all Jan-Olof cared about was tradition and making Simon as background as he could. When Wilhelm gave up meditating to soothe his anxiety, he was upset at his inability to calm down, despite the fact he's never been given an opportunity to be calm. Nobody really knows about his mental health struggles, he just has to fight through them and desperately try to self-soothe. Nobody else will comfort him after all.

It feels so scary getting old- Each of these scenes show Wilhelm being viewed as his role instead of being viewed as a person. He clearly struggles with being viewed as just the Crown Prince of Sweden, especially since that was never supposed to be his role, so of course it hurts when he's viewed as just a pawn in the Royal Family. Especially from people he loves. Yes, it was undeniably hard when he first became the Crown Prince, and it absolutely would've crushed him to know that when he had a panic attack he couldn't be alone. But these scenes are interlaced with him being viewed as a political pawn by Simon and his mother. People he loves, people he trusts. He's just a public statement to his mother, and he's just a human representation of the Crown to Simon (in these scenes not in general ofc). He's never going to be able to be his own person again, because he's got a country to run when he grows up and a public image to form between now and then.

This dream isn't feeling sweet- The lyrics are now getting more compounding, it's louder and it's closer. He's fighting to be heard, he's being ripped off of his desk, he's forcing down a panic attack because he needs to be happy for Simon. His emotions aren't allowed, he can't feel anything negative so he won't feel anything at all. Nothing in his life feels good anymore, so he's fighting the losing battle to just try to break even. Nobody would dream of this, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. He can't even voice that, though.

We're reeling through the midnight streets- Now he's reminiscing about when things were easier, but they weren't, really. Yes, the placard was there the night he first kissed Simon, but that was also the beginning of the horrific realisation he wasn't built for the world he is forced to live in. His mother says 'no more mistakes' and he already knows it means he has to leave Simon. When that doesn't work and it all falls out, he's left to try and clean his own image up by nailing the closet shut with every fibre of his being. His life wasn't better, he's grasping for anything to show him life will be okay again. Everything has crumbled and now he's got nothing, so he yearns for when he had something, even if it was just something to lose.

And I've never felt more alone- He is constantly left. Something that isn't brought up enough is how often he's just abandoned. He has no one to talk to, he's forced to work through his struggles alone because his existence is political and any sign of weakness being public could reflect badly on his family. He becomes the embodiment of the Prince he could never be. Walking to the lake and reminiscing about when he would be happy there. Being left alone by his brother, who didn't even reply to him asking to say hi to his mother and father, who he then never sees in person again. Then wearing his brother's jacket. He's alone, and all he does is pine for a time when he wasn't. All he wants to do is go back and do it all again, and he can't. But he also can't move forward, he doesn't want to, he doesn't know how.

It feels so scary- Only two scenes so I'll discuss 'em one by one: -At Erik's funeral, there's a more literal fear of getting old. I don't want to repeat myself more than I already have but obviously, that forced Wilhelm to grow up and be more mature, and act like a Crown Prince instead of just the Prince. More attention, less room for error. He's terrified of fucking it up, and there's nobody who can help him. -The breakup scene is more metaphorical. He has to grow up and figure out what he wants to do with his life, while also having to grow to understand what he actually has the ability to do with his life. He's not ready to do this because he wants things to be good and happy but it was ripped away from him. He can't just pretend everything is alright anymore, but the amount of maturing he needs to do seems impossible at this moment, especially knowing he was in love with a boy when he wasn't allowed to be. He tries to be both a Prince and Wilhelm and all it did was betray his boyfriend's trust.

getting old- Wilhelm shutting his computer and pressing his hands to his eyes. It's exhausting. He's exhausted. Constantly working to try and be who he's supposed to be as well as being himself and trying to navigate his emotions in a vulnerable state is just too much. He can't carry it all, so he just gives up for a moment. It all goes quiet, but not in a good way. When you're that overwhelmed, the lack of anything just leaves more room to spiral.

FONT CHOICES

Intro: literally my handwriting. I wanted this to feel personal and almost like a desperate written plea to go back to when it was good, and what's more personal than my own handwriting am I right!!!

First chorus loop: Magazine font, it's in pieces and it doesn't match. There's a sporadic chaos, like he's beginning to feel it but it isn't there yet. The text isn't fully opaque, it's in front of him. We're seeing it before he does in this context. Trying to reflect how the media knows things before he does, like his brothers death, the tape leaking, all that good stuff.

Second chorus loop: Big, Bold, Unavoidable! I rotobrushed Wilhelm in every scene so that the text could be intertwined with him. He can't escape the reality of his situation, he is getting crushed by these feelings. The song gets louder and more claustrophobic, the text is in the scenes with him. It haunts him, it's everywhere. When he closes the laptop and it all goes silent, its not relaxing, it just makes you anxious in a different way.

COLOURING

I actually chose the blues from the intro scene, mainly in the night sky bit of the frame. Also! All the happy Wilmon scenes have a higher saturation, though you can't tell because of how I did the colouring. It just results in them being a little bit brighter, because things were good then and I believe it should feel good then, too.

#ellieoughposting #ellieeditrambles #new tag for if anyone else asks me ab any of my edits #cannot stress enough ill write one of these for any edit you want #just ask #anyway #edit analysis #wilmon edit #no beta we die like erik #wilhelm x ribs #also idk how else to mention this but this edit was a vent edit #like yes i think this hard about vent edits i have autism i cant not think

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