#just because I desperately need my alone time and space but haven't had that in weeks

[edenesth]

MOOT GAME: " make up a trope for your moots and their biases. doesn’t need to be romantic. can be crackfic/funny/anything you want ^ㅇ(๑>◡<๑)ㅇ^ "

Dear Soulmate

I'm sorry it took me so long, anon! I didn't know how to approach this and was waiting for a friend to do it first🙈

For my one and only, my pookie, @itstheghostofmypast💖

Choi San — soulmate au (idiots to lovers)

In a world where soulmates exist, most people discover their other halves before reaching twenty-five, you struggle to find yours, even when he had been right in front of you all along. You've witnessed those around you revelling in the bliss of finding their destined partners, all the while blindly awaiting your own.

"I cannot believe this, I'm dying alone!" you cried.

"Pooks, he'll come when the timing's right, I just know it," Eve, your closest friend and platonic soulmate, reassured you, wrapping you in a comforting embrace as you poured out your frustration. Despite being on the cusp of turning 26, your soulmate remained elusive.

"How did you and Hwa find each other again?" you asked, desperate for answers.

Eve sighed, "Whenever one of us gets hurt, a flower tattoo appears on the other in the same spot of their body. You know how clumsy I am, he found me through those blossoms. But each soulmate pair has their own unique connection. Haven't you felt anything special?"

See, in this world with soulmates, each pair discovers their connection in their own way. There's no universal formula, and you despised that fact vehemently. It only added unnecessary complexity to the already challenging quest for love.

Your parents had found each other through their inner voices, where their internal voices are the other's instead of their own. Your sister had found her soulmate through a compass on her body that led her to where her other half is.

And then there was you. Nothing. Nada. Niente. Absolutely nothing at all.

And as your birthday drew near this year, panic set in. You'd soon be a year older than the age when most people found their soulmates. Maybe you didn't have one, maybe he died, maybe he got aborted as a foetus, maybe—

"Woah, woah, just take a deep breath, everything will be okay," your friend reassured, trying her best to help in any way possible, "Hey, didn't you say you've been having a lot of dreams lately? And it's always that same dream?"

You blew a raspberry in frustration, "Yeah, but I doubt my recent dreams have anything to do with my soulmate, assuming I even have one. They're always about that art museum I go to on weekends. I think it's just because I spend so much time there."

She pondered for a moment, "Wait a minute, didn't you mention that San guy you always see there? What if—"

"Oh, hell no," you exclaimed, shuddering at the possibility of that annoyingly gorgeous mountain of a man being your destined lover, "I'd rather be alone forever than end up with someone like him."

It all happened on a day when you sought solace at the museum after a taxing week at school. Exhausted from dealing with incompetent classmates and antagonistic professors, you longed for a moment of peace as you approached your cherished spot in the corner. But to your dismay, you discovered an ignorant man occupying not just one seat, but the entire bench with his belongings. And not just any bench, your bench, the one everyone knew better than to occupy.

So you did the first thing that came to mind, you might have uttered some unkind words out of irritation. Looking back, you acknowledge it was all very unnecessary, considering it was likely his first visit to the museum and he clearly didn't realise it was your spot. However, your pride prevented you from admitting fault.

Consequently, he responded with equal unpleasantness. Even the museum guards had to intervene before things escalated into a fight. Like dealing with children, they persuaded both of you to share the bench since there was clearly more than enough space for two.

You adamantly refused to yield your spot and relocate, asserting your presence since you were here first. Similarly, it seemed his foolish pride prevented him from budging as well; thus, you both found yourselves locked in a silent standoff, exchanging wary glances as you engaged in a weekly silent war.

"Ugh, was hoping I wouldn't have to see your face today," San sneered, earning a glare from you as you settled down beside him. You were running slightly late, having trouble getting up after yet another frustrating dream, one slightly more annoying than usual.

Deliberately nudging his bag aside with irritation, you narrowed your eyes, "You wish, loser. This spot is mine, and it's staying that way."

He smirked in response, "Someone's in a foul mood, but then again, when are you not? Hope it's not because of that dream where your precious bench gets snatched away for good."

"Shut the hell up—"

You stopped short, a sudden realisation hitting you like a ton of bricks. You hadn't shared that dream with anyone, not even Eve. No one should know about it except... No freaking way. He couldn't possibly be the one you've been waiting for all this time. It seemed too absurd to be true. Why, out of all people, would fate pair you with this insufferable, infuriating, irksome yet undeniably attractive, bastard?

"Surprise, genius. It's me, your soulmate."

"I knew," he confessed, his voice carrying frustration and resignation, "I knew from the moment I saw you that you were my other half. That's why I came here in the first place, why I was in this exact spot."

Your breath hitched as his words sank in. All this time, he had known, yet he had still chosen to engage in your petty conflicts.

"But when I met you," he continued, "I was excited, hopeful even. But your attitude, your stubbornness... it's unbearable. As much as I feel the pull towards you, I can't ignore how immensely annoyed I am by your behaviour."

His words landed like a punch to the gut.

"I know that if I had a choice in who my soulmate is," he admitted, his gaze intense, "it would never be you."

After a moment of processing his words, you gritted your teeth in anger, "Well, joke's on you, buddy. I don't want you either. Maybe it would be best for both of us if you stop showing up here from now on."

Days turned into weeks, and true to your request, San ceased his visits to the museum. At first, you felt a strange sense of relief, but soon, that relief morphed into a tumult of conflicting emotions.

You didn't know how to feel. Did you truly mean what you said, or were those words simply born out of anger? Your emotions were a tangled mess. On one hand, you had just turned away your soulmate after yearning for his presence for so long. On the other hand, you couldn't shake the resentment that it had to be him, of all people. Part of you longed to be near him, to reconcile and embrace your destiny. But another part recoiled at the thought, recoiled at the frustration his presence brought.

Unbeknownst to you, San wasn't doing much better. His heart felt hollow, the absence of your presence leaving a gaping void. He tried to carry on with his life as before, but the weight of your rejection hung heavy on his shoulders. But his pride also kept him from reaching out to you.

He suppressed the pull towards you, buried it beneath layers of denial and indifference. But no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, your essence lingered in his dreams, haunting him with visions of what could have been.

Then, one day, fate intervened in a way neither of you could have predicted. You fell ill with food poisoning and ended up in the hospital. In a panic, San saw it in his dream, a vision of you lying pale and weak in a hospital bed. Without hesitation, he raced to your side, his heart pounding with fear. As he stood in the hospital room, watching over you, he realised the depth of his feelings. Despite everything, he couldn't deny the truth any longer. You were his soulmate, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing you.

You furrowed your brows at his unexpected appearance, "What the hell are you doing here? Who invited you?"

His heart sank at your coldness, but before he could form a response, Eve intervened, giving you a playful smack on the shoulder, "Stop it, you! He came all this way, and you're still going to be mean to him?" Turning to San with a warm smile, she continued, "You must be San! I'm Eve, her best friend. It's nice to finally meet you. Oh, and please don't take her words to heart. She likes to pretend as if she hadn't been dying to see you again."

Blushing furiously at her blunt revelation, you shot her a glare, but she simply tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "Behave yourself. I'll be back shortly after settling the bill with Hwa," she said, brushing past San. As she passed him, she gave a polite nod, "Please take care of her for me, won't you?"

"Of course, Eve," he replied, nodding in return.

As soon as your friend left the room, he took a step closer, his tone serious, "Listen, I'm tired of playing games. I came here because I realised I can't bear to lose you again. So, tell me if you feel the same right now. If you still want me gone, I'll leave and never show my face around you ever again."

His words struck a chord, and you couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He couldn't resist the pull any longer, sitting down beside you on the bed and wrapping his arms around you. Relief flooded through him as he felt you relax in his embrace.

"I don't want to lose you again either. I'm sorry I was an idiot," you whispered.

"You should be," he teased, planting a kiss on your hair, "But I'm sorry too. Perhaps I should have told you who I was from the start. Let's just... not say things we don't mean and hurt each other again, okay?"

You nodded, squeezing him tightly, "Okay, Sannie."

All Rights Reserved © edenesth // DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

#lovely asks #my pookie #itstheghostofmypast #ateez fanfiction #choi san #ateez san #soulmate au #choi san x reader #choi san x you

[moon-alight]

Hi I'm a really big fan of &team can write

When you lock bathroom door and cry after an argument

Hello! Of course, I can. (BTW, all my inbox asks are deleted. The only ones I still have is this one and another one that was made like 5 hours ago. I don't know what happened. Please ask me again if you have more things for me to write <3)

Masterlist

&Team reaction to you locking yourself up after an argument.

Warnings: angst, fluff, arguments, some cussing

Word Count: 762

-K

-He understood that you needed space but when he heard the lock on the bathroom, he got worried.

-Didn't want the argument into what it ended up being but lets be honest, you're both stubborn hot-heads. It was bound to happen.

-Feels insanely guilty after he hears soft sobs (even though you tried to hide it)

-Knocks softly on the door and rests his forehead against the wood as his heart breaks inside his chest.

-"I'm so sorry, baby. Please, open up. Please, let me hold you."

-Feels so guilty and just wants this all to end to be honest.

-Fuma

-It wasn't supposed to happen but you were both blind to the others statement so he lifted his voice a little and saw tears appear in your eyes.

-When you locked yourself up, he realized his mistake and closed his eyes as he stood alone in the living room.

-Fights with himself on what to do because on one hand he wants to give you space but at the same time, he wants to hold you close and assure you he loves you.

-Walks towards the door and thinks he's Anna so he knocks and asks you to open the door. When you don't, he sees this as you want to be alone so he leaves.

-Comes back two minutes later because he loves you and knocks again.

-Nicholas

-I also see him as a hot-headed person so beware.

-He just desperately wanted to win the argument that he forgot to listen to your side and messed but by creating a bigger problem than necessary.

-The moment he hears the lock, he calms down internally and stares at the door.

-Tries to open the door anyway but realized you actually locked yourself in.

-Apologizes as if his life depended on it because for the first time that evening he understands your point of view.

-Will be so happy and relieved when you unlock the door.

-EJ

-You had been arguing to the point where neither of you really knew what it was about anymore.

-When he hears a door shut he doesn't think much of it but when you haven't returned after like 10 minutes he panics.

-Goes to the door to hear your soft sobs and panics even more so he tries to open the door but it is locked.

-A sudden fear of you leaving because he went too far washes over him and he feels his heart almost combust from stress.

-Whispers to you from his side of the door about how you two can fix this small problem and how sorry he is.

-Has an existencial crisis but calms down immediately when you let him inside.

-Yuma

-Hothead number #3!

-Absolutely scoffs when you lock yourself inside your bedroom and waits for you to come out but you don't and he frowns.

-He hears your sobs and immediately feels guilty for how harsh he had been during the argument.

-Immediately calls EJ to ask what he's supposed to do because he is clueless.

-EJ scolds him for being an idiot before he gives advice on what to do.

-Yuma knocks softly on the door and apologizes to you for everything before you open the door and he tackles you in a hug.

-Holds you close and kisses your temple while he keeps apologizing.

-Jo

-Sorry but I cannot imagine a scenario where he would make you cry.

-If anything he would be the one locking himself up and sobbing.

-Harua (I'm sorry I forgot him! SO SORRY!)

-The moment he realized the hurtful words he had said in a fit of anger, he looks down in shame.

-When you lock yourself up, he becomes Anna from Frozen and stands in front of the bathroom door while knocking desperately.

-"Y/N?" He would call out to you and knock a couple more times. When you refuse to open the door, he turns his back against it and slides down until he sits on the ground.

-Tortures himself by listening to your sobs and soft cries from inside.

-Is ready to pick all the stars out of the nightsky to give them to you because he just desperately wants to apologize.

-Taki

-Absolutely the one to blame himself and scold himself for hurting you to the point of you locking yourself up.

-Will leave you alone for a while and wait for you to open the door before apologizing continuesly for being stubborn.

-Won't leave you alone afterwards and has his arms around you the whole time.

-Continues to apologize every few minutes just to make sure if you're still mad or not.

-Kisses your temple and cheek like twenty times. I love him.

-Maki

-Has a hard time understanding why you'd lock yourself up because he genuinly thought the argument was just brief.

-Realizes he might've raised his voice unknowingly and now feels bad about the whole argument. (I swear he wouldn't raise his voice on purpose)

-Knows when you need space and leaves you alone for a while before knocking on your door and talking to you softly.

-Apologizes for the whole fight and asks if he can at least hold you.

-When you open the door, he is so gentle and sweet with you. <3

#&team drabbles #&team #&team scenarios #&team imagines #&team fluff #&team headcanons #&team nicholas #&team k #&team ej #&team fuma #&team yuma #&team jo #&team taki #&team harua #&team maki

[mostlymarvelsstuff]

Please, please write a hurt/comfort of bringing Natasha back after the events of endgame. Reader had gotten blipped, came back, was completely broken, but they manage to bring Nat back and it’s just a tearful happy reunion. Please alleviate the pain tomorrow 😭 The pain now is too much to handle

Back to You

Warnings: hurt/comfort, slight angst(happy end)

Authors note: thank you for this idea, I hope I did it justice 💖

Word count: 1799 Nat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist

   You lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a void expression on your face. Part of you still hadn’t come to terms with what you were told yesterday. I mean, how the hell had you been gone for five years? All you did was blink. And Natasha, she….she couldn’t be gone. She just couldn’t be. You had been right next to her. And Nat, she's the god damned Black Widow, she can’t just die. That's…that's impossible. Or, it should be. But here you are now, without her by your side. All because a stupid stone needed a sacrifice, and of course Clint couldn’t beat her in a fight. How ironic, you think. This is the only time you've ever wished for her to lose a fight. But of course, it's the most important one she's won. 

   “Y/n?” Clint's voice calls out, cutting through your thoughts, but you don’t spare him a glance, you can’t. “Look, I know you're angry with me, and believe me, I’m angry too, but dinner is ready and you need to eat. You haven't had a proper meal, and Nat wouldn’t want that.”

   “Well, Nats not here, is she?”

   His face twists in agony, not that you see it though, your eyes are still glued to the ceiling, “No, she isn’t. But that doesn’t mean you can just give up”

  “Why not? She was my world, Clint. My whole damn world, and now she's not here and I’m just expected to carry on?” you angrily ask as tears once again cloud your vision

   “I know she was, and of course you're allowed to grieve and process all that we- that you lost. But, you can’t just sit here and rot away, not when she always wanted so much for you. And not when Yelena is out there somewhere desperately trying to get in touch with a sister who will never respond. She needs closure.” 

   “And I don’t?!” you shout, finally looking at him, “You think knowing what she died for, knowing I missed out on five years with her, and knowing that I’ll never be able to see her face again, hear her laugh, be the cause of her smile, or get to fucking say goodbye and I love her gives me closure?!”

   “I’m sorry”

   “No, you don’t get to be sorry, Clint! You don’t get to, because she deemed you important enough to die for, and your fucking family is all here, waiting for you at home! Mines gone! At the bottom of some damned magical cliff in space!” you shout, gaining the attention of some of the other heroes

   “Y/n” Sam says, brushing past Clint in your doorway to offer you support

   “He doesn’t get to be sorry, Sam! He's here, and she's not!”

   “I know sweetheart, I know” he soothes, grabbing ahold of your shoulders 

   “He won’t even go home to the family he so desperately wanted back! Instead he just mopes around here feeling guilty while he continuously talks to me and tries to give me care that I don't want or need!”

   Deep down, you knew it was unfair to be saying these things about Clint, and to him. After all, he had lost Nat too and had even had to witness it. And he was only trying to care for you because he knew how much you mattered to his best friend and that she would want you looked out for. But right now, you can't think that rationally. Because all you see when you look at him, is her. They were a matching set, so when you see him alone, all you feel is anger at the unfairness of it all. Which unfortunately, has you lashing out at the already guilt ridden archer

   “Y/n, he's just trying to do what he can” Sam interjects, trying to calm your misplaced rage, but Clint lifts his hands up

   “It’s fine Sam. She has every right to be angry, and she's right. I should go home. She doesn’t need me as a constant reminder looming over her.” the defeated man admits before sulking off to his room, likely to begin packing 

   You stand there a moment next to Sam, letting him rub your shoulder to offer what little comfort he can. He doesn’t say anything, partially because what could he possibly say that could take this pain from you, and partially because he knows that you regret how you just treated Clint

   “She admired you, you know” you say, breaking the silence

  “Who? Me?”

   You can’t help but smile at his state of surprise, “Yes, you. Right from the start you showed your bravery and you were always her ally. Even during the accords when everyone didn’t see eye to eye, everyone was still her family”

   “She was mine too. I regret not telling her how much I looked up to her, not just Steve.”

   “She knew” you admit, smiling at him sadly, “She never felt deserving of it, but she knew”

   Before the two of you can reminisce any further, there's a knock on your doorframe, and the super soldiers body comes into view “Hey guys”

   “Hey Bucky” you reply, giving him a halfhearted smile. The poor guy looks almost as bad off as you

   “Steves just about ready to leave if you guys want to, you know, say goodbye”

   You both nod and your stomach tightens in knots. How unfair that you were given a chance to say goodbye to a teammate but not the woman you loved. Fate really was cruel. Before you knew it, you were out at the time travel pad with Bruce, Steve, Sam and Bucky. Bruce gives you a look of sorrow, and you hate it. You hate that he knows exactly how you're feeling because at one point he cared about her too even if she didn’t return the feelings

   “You know, I tried” he says, “When I had the gauntlet, the stones, I really tried to bring her back”

   You nod in appreciation as your eyes fill with tears, and you try your best to blink them away, not wanting to once again break down in front of them. Eventually after some rather short but sweet words between Steve Bucky and Sam, he picks up the briefcase with the stones and heads for the pad. Bruce gives him specific instructions for returning them as Steve gets in the center of the pad next to Mojlnir and activates his quantum suit.

   “How long is this gonna take?” Sam asks, glancing over to Bruce

   “For him, as long as he needs. For us, five seconds” The machine powers up, the hammer, “Ready Cap? Okay, we’ll meet you back here, alright?”

   “You bet”

   “Three….Two…One” he counts down and the four of you watch Steve disappear into the past, “Returning in, five…four…three…two…one”

   Nothing happens and Bruce frantically checks over the equipment. You nervously shift on your feet as Sam looks over at the scientist, “Where is he?”

   Bruce can only shake his head, “I don’t know. He should be here”

   “Well get him back!” 

   “I’m trying!” 

   “Get him the hell back!” Sam shouts even louder this time, losing what little calm he had

   “Hey, I said I’m trying!” he replies, pressing a few buttons

   But as they argue, Bucky notices an old man on a bench nearby, and in his heart of hearts, he knows it's Steve, “Hey Sam!”

   Both men walk in that direction, leaving both you and the big green guy alone at the pad. You think you realize what's happening, and you're about to tell Bruce not to bother with the machine, that there's no one to bring back, when suddenly it proves you wrong by humming to life

   Someone appears in the middle of it then, and they stumble forward. You can tell by the size of the figure that it's definitely not Steve, which you knew, but the helmet of the quantum suit stops you from being able to tell who it actually is. Whoever it is then reaches up to take off the helmet, and when long red tresses fall out, you can practically feel your heart stop. The woman looks up then, to see where she was, and is met with your distraught tear stained face. A face she's longed to see, hold and kiss for five years now.

   “Y/n?” she asks, barley above a whisper as her own tears fall down her cheeks

   Your bottom lip trembles, “Natty?”

   “Oh, moya lyubov'(my love)” she exclaims, rushing over to envelope you in her arms. You don't even care that they’re almost crushing you, “I missed you so much. I never thought I’d see you again”

   You sob against her, clutching onto her suit with all your strength, “You never thought you’d see me?! Tasha, I never thought I’d see you! I came back after what only felt like five seconds and the whole world was different and you…you were gone”

   “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t let Clint-  ”

   “Why? God, Nat, I don’t want the man dead either, but if there was ever a time for you to be selfish, that would have been it!” you exclaim, slightly frustrated with her, “I mean did you even think of me? Of Yelena? What we’d do without you? How your absence would kill us?”

   “Of course I did detka(baby), but someone had to go”

   You sigh, “And why must that someone always be you? Why can’t you see that you are just as important as anyone else, that you matter to someone too?”

   “I just….the things I've done…”

    “Don’t matter anymore, Natasha! You wiped your ledger clean years ago, either in the Battle of New York or the Battle of Sokovia. You have nothing to atone for, and your family needs you, I need you. So please, I am begging you, never ever do something like that again.” you plead, cupping her face, “Because, while I’m sure five years without me was terrible, I can’t do forever without you. I can’t. Please don’t ask me to” 

   She surges forward, unable to stop herself from kissing the lips she's longed for, for so long. You happily indulge her in this, kissing back with a ferocity that conveyed all your emotions, from love to anger and sorrow. Eventually she pulls away from your lips, but keeps you close

   “You're right, I could stand to be a bit more selfish at times. I’m sorry I put you through that, Y/n. It won’t happen again, I promise. And I'm here now, ok? I’m right here”

   You nod, and hug her again, silently thanking all the gods in existence that somehow, someway, the woman you loved had been able to find her way back to you.

Taglist:@wandaromamoff69 @mmmmokdok @nataliasknife @natashasilverfox @when-wolves-howl @danveration @naomi-m3ndez @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @readings-stuff @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @xchaiix @iaminluvwithnat @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories @imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastormm  @zoomdeathknight @rayeofmoonlight @aeroae @sashawalker2

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x reader #fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel

[the-sinister-story-teller]

Can i request some more angel dust x !male reader? Perhaps during the later part of the final battle in episode 8, readed is severely injured but still alive, angel isn't present as he and reader got separated during the chaos, angel only finds him AFTER adam and the rest are defeated and angel runs to get aid (i was thinking lucifer, i bet he can heal somebody), then later when reader is in bed resting/sort-of-coma angel comes into his room to tell him how much he loves him? And reader hears all of that so after he gets better they have a party at the hotel to celebrate, and later that night reader confesses to angel that he heard him? Yeah that would be cathartic

A/n: OMGGG YESSS! I haven't really gotten a request like that yet and I'm SO excited to do it!! It's gonna be so cute oml🥺

Angel Dust x M!Reader ~ I've Got You Now

Topic: request above ^^^^^

Mentions: Male reader, angst, violence, fluff, switching between using 'Y/n' and 'your/you're'

Angel let out a sigh, hugging Fat Nuggets close before straightening up, looking around. Charlie went to his aid in a worry.

"Angel...? You ok? There aren't any angels-" She said, reaching to him, before he cut her off.

"I know THAT but where th' hell is y/n!? H-He isn't anywhere! FUCK!!" He hisses. The angels had been slaughtered, and so was Adam (via nifty), and despite the hotel being nothing but rubble, everything turned out relatively ok...except for...Y/n that is. Angel and Charlie both scoured the debris, huffing and puffing. Mainly Angel however as he was terrified something bad had happened. The two had gotten separated and Angel at first thought Y/n could handle himself but now, he was paranoid that something happened. "Sh-Shit I can't find 'im!! Charlie anything!?" He called out the the princess, as she lifted yet another piece of rubble.

"No Angel!" She called back as Angel was on the brink of tears, on the near edge of a panic attack. That was until he saw something in the corner of his eye. Turning that direction, he gasped.

"Y/N!!!" He shouted, running to Y/n's body, tearing up from joy, going to his side, realizing you were unconscious. Panicked, he set you down gently. "Don't worry, I'll be back ok..? Just...Just stay with me." He spoke, before running off to Charlie. "Where the FUCK is Lucifer!?" He snapped and Charlie stammered before noticing her father, simply pointing before Angel ran off to him, desperately explaining the situation to him, rambling and stammering constantly along the way. Lucifer understood and rushed to Y/n's unconscious body, and taking him into care.

"Until the hotel is rebuilt I'll keep him at my living space...Don't worry, I'll keep care of him." Lucifer assured and Angel HATED the idea of him not being able to check up on you, but reluctantly agreed. It took a bit, but the moment the hotel was rebuilt, Y/n was moved into his new room, now healing there. Angel sat by your bed with nuggets, sighing softly. A knocking erupted from the door, and he lifted his head to look at it.

"Come in.." Angel muttered, seeing Charlie and Lucifer walk in. Lucifer went to Angel, patting his head.

"You don't need to worry for him Angel. He's healed, just unconscious at the moment. He'll wake up soon, I know he will." Lucifer assured and Angel sighed, fixing the sheets that were held around your body.

"I know it's just...I hate seein' him hurt.." Angel murmured and Charlie hummed.

"We get it Angel...But hey! He'll wake up in no time! Ok? Just have some hope.." She muttered, taking Angel's hands as he sighed with a light smile.

"Thanks princess...It...Means a lot.." Angel said. The three conversed a bit, before Lucifer and Charlie exited, leaving the two of you alone. Truth was, you weren't unconscious anymore. Actually, you had just stirred awake from it all. Though, you wanted to stay at rest, because the lights hurt your eyes.

Angel sighed, sitting back down, brushing hair out your face. "I...I need to get this off my chest...I know you're unconscious, but I can't continue keeping this a secret...I love you Y/n. I love you a lot...Flaws n all. I should've told you sooner...In case you don't...make it.." Angel muttered, his voice cracking from the tears he held back. "I just wanted you to know that I love you so fucking much...I don't know if you feel the same, I don't know if you will tell me when you wake up, but...Even if you can't here me, I still want to tell you that I adore you.." He confessed. Your heart was racing. You weren't expecting this. He...confessed his love to you!! God you were thrilled to have known that.

About a day later, not even, you stumbled out your room, going to the lobby. Everyone was sitting down, either drinking coffee or eating, that was until you spoke.

"So...what's for breakfast guys?" You asked with a lighthearted chuckle. You could hear your name from every person in the room, except for one. "Angie? Ya missed me?" You joked, as Angel welled up with tears, rushing to you and hugging you, before lightly punching you.

"Don't scare me like that again ya fuckin' asshole!! I thought you DIED!!" He scolded with a laugh wiping his tears softly, hugging you again.

"Nah. You'd beat my ass if I died." You sarcastically joked, hugging him back.

"We have to celebrate this!!" Charlie exclaimed as Vaggie smiled from her girlfriends enthusiasm. So, as per the princesses request, a celebratory party was indeed thrown. Husk handled everybody's drinks, actually enjoying his job like this. Alastor, Charlie, and Lucifer were all handling food. You, Angel, and Nifty set up decorations. Once everything was done, it was lively in the hotel, despite the lack of recipients residing there. But that was just fine by you. You laughed with Charlie, before venturing off to find Angel.

"Aaaangie! I got cha' a pastry! Alastor made it. I'm honestly shocked he could bake." You joked, going onto the balcony with Angel, handing him the baked good.

"Thanks tootz." Angel hummed with a laugh, leaning on the railing while eating, as you reciprocating his actions.

"Hey Angel...You ever consider dating?" You asked. You weren't curious. You were starting a way to also confess to him like he did to you.

"Huh? I mean...I guess. A couple times, why?" Angel perked, blushing a bit. You simply shrugged.

"I guess I just need help, that's all."

"With?" He raised a brow, looking at you. He was losing hope, that maybe you liked someone else.

"With confessing to my crush. He's super fucking pretty, and out my league." You said with a soft chuckle, blushing. Angel felt a bit hurt, overthinking this all.

"Ok well...Tell me 'bout him! Knowing a person you love makes it easier to confess ya'know!" He laughed.

"Alright well...He lives here, uh...again, he's so fucking pretty; not even pretty, GORGEOUS. Great taste in clothing, he's the best pet dad ever, and let's see..." you thought. Angel sat there, bright red. Nobody else fit those things besides him...He was really curious on what the next thing would be.

"...oh, and I think he confessed to me the other night." You said softly, coy. Angel went wide eyed.

"Wh-Wha?" He nervously chuckled, tapping the railing sheepishly. You turned to him, holding on of his hands in yours.

"Angie...I heard you...and-" Angel was quick to cut you off.

"Oh shit I'm so sorry if I sounded creepy I didn't know you were awake and I just wanted to tell you but-" he stammered, before you laughed, shushing him.

"Dude, relax...I was going to say, that I feel the same...I love you to, Anthony." You muttered and he teared up before pulling you into a tight hug. You returned it, as you both shared a quick, loving kiss.

"I thought you were gonna reject me!" Angel laughed, as you snickered, resting your head right above his chest, gazing up at him.

"I could never...I'd never forgive myself if I did!" You joked back as the two of you shared a sweet chuckle, before Angel sighed.

"I'm so fucking glad I went to hell and got you...It makes everything so much more worth it.." He muttered, "I love ya Y/n.."

"I love you too, Angel."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: I hope you enjoy!!

#angel dust fluff #hazbin angel dust #angel dust oneshot #angel dust x reader #x reader #male reader

[jadedresearcher]

Thoughts on Liminal Horror

So this has been kicking around in my head a while, and I woke up with some actual coherent thoughts on it that I'm trying to capture before I lose them.

There was a tumblr post I saw before that I have long since lost about how liminal horror should NOT have a monster and isn't just "oh you're alone somewhere". And I couldn't agree more! But I haven't been able to articulate exactly why. Liminal, as a word on it's own, means transitional. Liminal spaces are real things that are places where you are on the WAY to somewhere. Liminal doesn't mean infinite spooky mazes, is my first point.

A liminal space could be hallways on the way to an office. Maybe you're trying to get some government bullshit completed. Maybe you're on the way to a doctor you're not entirely familiar with. A liminal space could be the terminals in an airport, as you try to make it to your flight in time. Or a highway you're driving on while looking for a particular exit. Or a carpark as you look for where you had parked among seemingly identical cars. You've been in liminal spaces so so many times. The point is that the spaces themselves aren't what you're really paying attention to. You're thinking of what you'll do when you get there, or going over the things you'll need to keep track of when you arrive. The directions you have to get there, maybe.

So in your MEMORY, and especially your dreams, these spaces take on a peculiar quality. They're SLIPPERY. It's hard to remember any details of them, because you weren't really focused on them. It's just a miasma of "i was in a hallway" or "i was on a road". Maybe a few weird details jump out on you, but it only serves to blend together the rest of the journey. So, when we elevate liminal spaces to HORROR, the first thing we do is lean into that. Impossible spaces because your memory genuinely does not care what any part of them is like save the ending.

Impossible spaces because we tap into that part of you deep down that is unsettled if you try to remember them, and wonders if maybe they really HAD been so weird when you were in them, and you just didn't notice.

This is getting longer than I thought, so may as well put in a cut!

So. I've explained WHAT liminal spatial horror is as well I was going to be able to, I think, but I haven't really articulated why a MONSTER feels like it kneecaps the entire premise.

Have you ever been lost in a liminal space? Keeping in mind that "liminal space" is a thing we all encounter constantly and not shorthand for creepy pastas. Have you ever wandered unfamiliar areas that normally you wouldn't even be paying attention to, increasingly desperate that you won't get to your destination in time? Are you going to miss your flight? What if you can't get your government bullshit taken care of in time? Or your doctor's appointment will skip you and you already waited so long to get it. Did you already miss your exit?

That fear is what I'm focused on here.

It's hard to make you feel that fear in an artificial way.

Even if we give a character in a game all sorts of motives to reach a destination by a certain time, you only feel annoyed at the time pressure, not really *scared*. And although the person lost in a liminal space rarely can just give up and leave, YOU, the player of a game, can.

So liminal spatial horror tends to distill it down to a single fear: where is the exit.

Of course, simply "wanting to leave" is rarely pressure enough to *rush*. And I can see why adding a monster is a quick trick to add that 'going so fast you can't navigate' vibe to the experience.

What I'm saying here is that the time spent is the POINT. That you can slowly build up to that desperate pressure to rush.

You can emphasize that desperation a more subtle way, a way my favorite instances of liminal spatial horror do: bodily needs. You are in a space clearly created by humans, and yet without a single human need met. There are no water fountains. There are no bathrooms. There are no vending machines. Nowhere to comfortably rest. If any of these things do exist they are empty or corrupt in some way.

The temperature, in my favorite experiences, is noted to be wildly incorrect. It's freezing cold. It's burning hot. It's not even remotely the temperature you'd expect an office building full of humans to be.

At first, this leans into this desire to reach a destination, ANY destination. Maybe you can't find the way OUT but maybe you can find out "The Truth"? Maybe if you keep going and going and going you can figure out why this place is LIKE this.

If a human made this space it had to be intentionally to torture people. How fucked up do you have to be to sink this many resources into doing something like this? How long did it take to make? Why did no one notice?

If a non-human intelligence made this space maybe you can find out WHY? Maybe... maybe they were trying their best but didn't realize how uncanny valley and dangerous it would be to a person? If no intelligence was behind it at all, maybe you can find out HOW? Maybe it's a reflection of our collective unconscious, or the planet mimicking the increasing amount of man-made works on itself? But as you continue on and on, as a real living human being in an impossible liminal space horror situation, you realize it doesn't matter how or why or when or any of the questions you dangled in front of yourself like a will-o-wisp driving you ever further in.

Because you realize you're going to die in here. Maybe it'll be the thirst. Humans can only go a few days without water. Maybe hunger will be what finally gets you. Its hard to tell how long you've been in here when any clocks you find in the hallways are all frozen to the same time and the sun hangs over the infinite highway like an immovable, swollen eye. But the hunger is ever present.

There's always exposure. Cold, hot, never anything between. How can you be freezing to death in an office hallway?

That isn't right. That isn't how it should be. Starving and freezing and dying of thirst is something that happens to people OUTSIDE civilization. It would make sense if you were lost in the woods but you can SEE sign after sign of civilization and other people for gods' sake!

How could this be happening? Why isn't anyone coming to help you?

And then we draw back, to you-who-is-consuming-this-fictional scenario. Because the point of horror is to get the person in the chair riled up, not just the character within the fictional premise.

Are you thinking about how often people starve and freeze and die of thirst in our own civilizations? Inches from the trappings of safety? With no help coming?

Are you thinking of how many desperate people navigate government mazes of plaster and brick and paper and online forms, driven forward by the hope of government aid or food stamps or HELP. How many people hunker down in a freezing subway or under a bridge on the highway or other public space knowing that no one SEES them because they're all transitioning from one space to another?

You probably aren't. Not directly. But we all know we're closer to freezing to death under a bridge or denied life-saving medical care in an office than we are to being a billionaire, right?

And there's something about that, deep in our gut, that resonates. That thread of reality in the safely fictional that keeps us coming back. Unable to articulate WHY but also thinking that liminal horror is somehow SCARIER than mere monsters. We all know that deadly predators are unlikely to get us. Adding a monster lets us move our too-real-fear to a safe target. And it's valid to want to do that! To decide spatial horror is too much, to want to thin it out like adding ranch dressing to a too-spicy chicken wing.

But that's why I think that the monsters are an artificial add on. And not a part of spatial horror.

#spatial horror #jr note #rambles #liminal spaces #if you add a monster to the backrooms i sleep #but you can if you want #its why i prefer the interpretation that the minotaur was not real in house of leaves #which is a valid interpretation the book itself brings up

[kicksnscribs]

"Ah, you want me to talk about the Twins huh?"

"Not much to say about em, really. Used to run the subway system in Iacon way back before all the slag hit the fan. Damn good at it too.

Nicest lads you'd ever met and practically inseparable! Where one went the other was close by, almost as if they were joined at the hip. Rough upbringin's will do that to ya or so I've heard

Couldn't believe it when i saw the white one on the side of the 'Cons, even less so when i realized he was by himself. We captured him one day as a POW one time. Took a lot of us to pull it off but we managed eventually. That's when I heard the story of what happened to his...I guess brother is what you humans would call them if you absolutely needed a word to describe him. Figured the 'Cons promised him a way to get him back somehow if he joined up with them and he took the offer in a desperate attempt to find him.

Though I doubt they ever did give him anything to really go by. Recruiters will say just about anything in order to get bots to join their cause. Especially when it comes to getting their servos on big, strong fellas like the Twins.

He eventually escaped us somehow; found a way to cut through his bonds and was lost to the night before any of us could even blink. Heh, and I thought his brother was the more crafty of the two.

What d'ya mean 'creepy' smile? Rude lil' thing aren't ya?

He's always been smiling like that. Well...not exactly like that but... you know that mech never had a frown on his face that I'd ever seen. Though I will admit there's something...different about that smile now. Not at all like what I seen back in Iacon. Something sinister...

Not the only one to notice it either. Ol' Rung reckons that being separated from his brother for so long did things to him. Spark twins can't be without one another for very long without it messing with their coding n whatnot, you know?

Though, Ratch knows more about the kid's situation than anybody here on this ship. Says that he apparently had done some things in order to get his brother back. Supernatural things. Things smart mechs should know to leave well enough alone.

Wherever that mech went to get his brother, he didn't come back alone....

Such a shame, he was always a sweet kid. Had a bit of a mobility issue but only when he was excited about something I think? Which was a good thing for all I care. You need to have joy in the things you love 'n he had that in spades.

Did not really understand the concept of personal space though 'n it sometimes got 'im in loads of trouble *laughs*

The black one? Whats there to say about 'im, honestly?

Incredibly polite mech, always there to lend a helping servo or two when needed, a little older than his brother i think? He would always mess with him about that little fact.

Very gentle in situations where his brother would be very harsh, but not like in a mean spirited way, more like an excitable way if that makes any sense? You would never think that what with the constant sour look etched on his face at all times *laughs*

Never liked to talk much. Though not for a lack of ability but more of a 'can't control his volume' situation. He can hit Siren levels of loud when excited enough about something or other and feels bad about it when he does. I don't mind it though, means he's found something to be happy about and that's a good thing in my book if that's worth anything.

Really hurt to hear that he went missing millennia ago. His brother looked absolutely destroyed when I saw him in that camp. I'm glad to see he made it back.

Primus the years haven't been good to him, though. Wherever he went it did numbers on his frame.

He creaks when he walks now, and his gaze has that look of a mech who has seen far more than he should have. He still has that gentle nature about him, though. Which is good, because I think he is going to need it if he ever hopes to succeed at getting those demons running through his brothers brain module out.

I got faith in them though, they're as strong as they are inseparable. They'll get through this like they did every other thing they faced,

together.

[Pulled from the personal Datatracks of Ironhide, Chief of Autobot Security]

#hey ho i got bored again and came up with this while drawing lol #i am not a writer but that will not stop me from writing about my blorbos dammit! #long read #readmore #maccadams #submas #submas angst #i guess it can be called that? #i will draw something better for this but i had to get it out before my brain hated it #also i fucking love ironhide and for some odd reason when i was drawing all i could think about was him talking about the Twins #to some random curious human who suddenly saw two 35 foot train mechs appear on the base #i may do more with this idk #kicks' scribblings

[pan-magi]

On one hand, I hate that I'm making a vent post on this fandom blog. On the other hand, I am really annoyed and in a bad mood for unrelated reasons so I'm going to do it anyway.

I want to murder and destroy all the porn bots clogging the magi tags. It's infuriating.

"Because you follow #magi

*porn bot post*"

No, no, no. GO TO HELL.

Magi is already a small fandom. A lot of religious and spiritual blogs also use it. Even if they don't tags things with magi exclusively, I get a lot of Madoka Magica blogs recommended to me because of the series' full name (Puella Magi Madoka Magica). Nothing against them, of course, love existential magical girls. Point being I can bet none of us give a fucking shit. Leave our small tag alone!

I could just not visit the your tags page but the "because you follow x" posts pop up on home and following regardless. And I like checking in on random tags sometimes. It helps to not miss posts from people who simply have Magi as their anime of the week or whatever.

I do hate just to make this a vent post, so I'll add some anecdotal Magi stuff that I've already been thinking to make a shit post about. Unfortunately, I have not had anymore fandom related dreams. *

I will blab about the screenshot I chose for this though. I lowkey adore that scene. Morgiana just casually kidnapping her friend, so they can talk it out. (For reference, it's when she meets Alibaba in the Fog Troupe hideout and then just picks him up and leaves).

The funny thing is, they're not really friends at this point? Out of the trio and their relationships so far, Alibaba and Morgiana haven't had much time together. Morg is grateful that Alibaba freed her, yet I'll say they both are better friends with Aladdin right now.

Morgiana does bring this up. Her reasoning for taking Alibaba is so that he can talk to Aladdin and they can sort out their shit. She could see that the kid from Alibaba giving him the cold shoulder and is like "no." It's heartwarming. It's not something I'll recommend, sometimes people need space from each other and kidnapping is bad, still though- I love it lmao.

Best trio, ngl.

*I have since had a sorta Magi related dream since first writing this about a week ago. In it I met Ohtaka, except I've only ever looked at a few pictures of her before and know for a fact that how she looked in the dream isn't how she is irl. Maybe that's why it took me forever to recognize her. The first half was us basically meeting and talking about trivial stuff, not Magi or Orient because of not recognizing her, and the second half was me realizing my missed opportunity of fangirling and trying to find her again when she was not busy to get one of my volumes of Magi signed. Not in a desperate way but more of "ahhh, I'm so dumb and missed my chance. Bummer." I was way more melancholic about it compared to if I ever had the opportunity in real life. As if I knew it was a dream and not get too worked up about it.

My dreams are a lot more convoluted and trippy but that is the gist of the Magi related portion of the dream. The rest is irrelevant for this. Don't remember too much of it anyway.

That's all I have. This turned out long and I may trim it up. I feel better after typing it. That is what matters.

Fuck porn bots and may this small fandom prosper without them.

#magi #magi labyrinth of magic #magi: the labyrinth of magic #honestly why i do tag a few different versions of the name #magi is such a grab bag tag lol #stupid bots #i want to burn all of them down *gets flamethrower* #vent post #long post #includes photo edit #strong language #the screenshot i chose is especially relevant for me bc i hc morgiana as ace

[earlgreytea68]

If I may present some more lyrics related thoughts: The line "Last night I dreamt I still knew you" probably haunts me more than any other on SMFS, and I can't help but wonder if Pete had the hiatus in mind when writing them. He and Patrick went from being basically inseparable, to Patrick not knowing his kid, and performing his own music with so much more confidence than the boy who hid his face under a hat onstage all those years ago. Pete must have felt like a ghost in his own life without his musical other half by his side, but now here they are together on the other side, and they're stronger than ever!

okay, okay, so to me Flu Game is SUCH a hiatus-y song that i wonder sometimes if it's not a song with old lyrics stuck in it, or if Pete sent old lyrics to Patrick, Idk, did it finally seem like time to write through the hiatus in this particular way? But the lyrics seem more depressed than the rest of the album. Even given things like "I used to be a real go-getter," there's a brutality to "Oh, God, kinda please would you kill me now?" (I know Genius says this is "kindly please" but I stand firm that I think it's "kinda please.")

Anyway, everything about this song feels like it could come from the hiatus, because it's all about someone you knew so desperately well, someone you carved out space for in the world, just you and him against the world, and now you're so distant that you're just a face in the crowd he's up there performing to, and there you are, left with all this love and no one to give it to, trying to pretend you're getting through each day when it's exhausting, and what are you dreaming about? That you still knew each other (all of my wildest dreams ended up with you and me). That's your wildest dream (I will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me).

I can't be who you need me to be is so very what Pete Wentz thought at the beginning of the hiatus, and all he's doing is working flat-out to keep everything going and it's totally not appreciated and he can't even figure out anymore what's real or fake and he worked so hard to carve out that space and you're just going to leave it.

And he knows none of this really matters and nobody will care and it's all pointless but he can't seem to stop wanting to catch all of your ears, he can't stop seeking that attention, none of it is healthy or good but he's stuck in it, what else is he going to, he's got all this love and an empty space next to him.

There are also a lot of themes in these lyrics that strike me as being more common in his pre-hiatus stuff: The idea of faking how hard everything is so that you make it look easy shows up in Alpha Dog (we must make it hard to look so easy doing something so hard) and I'm pretty sure it shows up somewhere else, too, but I'm blanking on it now. The idea of Pete writing as Fall Out Boy the band and its unhealthy relationship with its fans also feels more pre-hiatus than post- (that's in Hum Hallelujah and Our Lawyers...). I might just be forgetting the post-hiatus occurrences of these themes, but they feel older to me. I have long wondered if this song is an old-lyric song. In interviews about the album, it seems clear that Patrick likes this song a lot and that Pete is less enthusiastic about it and considers it one of those "Patrick-y" songs that comes out of his head and his head alone. Which to me also slots into "he pulled these lyrics from God knows where." But, again, I could also see it that maybe Pete found them and finally thought it was time to share them. Who knows?

I haven't even talked yet about my absolute favorite lyric in this song: "Late at night in my room, lie awake and think of you and all your little dooms." First of all, this is another one of Patrick's odd-rhythm specialties, and I love it so much because it highlights so nicely my favorite part of the line: you and all your little dooms. Ugh, I just love that. Genius tells me it's probably a reference to orgasms and I just think that Pete Wentz never talks about sex as much or as straightforwardly as Genius thinks he does lololol. Which isn't to say he doesn't talk about sex, just that this lyric is about so much more than orgasms. It's so brilliantly evocative of that kind of relationship where a million little things seem to condemn it and drag it down. And given how hiatus-y the song feels to me, I think of the way Pete must have felt as it was all falling apart, that talking to Patrick was just an endless series of "little dooms" that Patrick kept flinging at him. What a perfect, beautiful little turn of phrase for the way things can succumb to the quicksand of problems.

Idk, I just love Flu Game.

And it is perhaps important to note that it leads into "Baby Annihilation," Pete's return to the poetry of the pre-hiatus time, but this time polished up to be JUST POETRY, no song it's being tacked to the end of, this standalone moment of Pete Wentz (with Patrick backing orchestration, the truest representation of their partnership we've really ever had, tbh), with it's closing musing of "what is there between us if not a little annihilation?" AND THEN we get "Kintsugi Kid," a song EXPLICITLY about that period of Pete's life where he was self-destructive but titled for how he came out so much better in the end, AND THEN the Patrick Stump special of "What a Time to Be Alive," the song Pete has very fondly called "pure Patrick," and it just seems so fitting to me that at the end, Patrick comes roaring back into this hiatus-y stretch, and we come back into the present.

#peterick #fall out boy #fob

[marslovesdaisies]

Look what you made me do || P.SH

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Minors do not interact.

WC: 3.1 k

Pairing: Mafia!Seonghwa x Mafia!OC

Warnings: Death, murder, violence, gaslighting, manipulation, mafia themes, weapons, angst, gore, eventual smut.

A/N: No thoughts, only Park Seonghwa wearing black.

Chapter 4

"Aren't the others going to follow? "

I looked at Seonghwa with a raised brow, my voice slightly more spooked than I would have wanted. I didn't want to admit it but being alone with him unsettled me. I knew exactly what he was doing. Hell, I had done that to people myself countless times. Isolation from comfort zone and putting unease in the subjects' bones. I sure wasn't liking it when I was the subject though. Not one bit.

The man who had brought me here had left immediately, none of the others following in. It was pitiful how desperately I wanted Jaemin or Wooyoung to be here with me. I would take even Kim Hongjoong over Seonghwa here. He had been silent this whole time, reclined on a chair, his eyes closed. He looked ethereal, and one would say also serene, but I knew better. All of the faux playfulness he had shown before was gone, replaced by tension and murderous intent. That was what I was most scared of, the anger and malice that rolled off of him in potent waves.

The chamber itself was simpler than I had expected. It probably was some backup office. No extravagance hung from the ceilings, and the chairs looked pretty normal. The curtains had been drawn and the space wasn't very brightly lit, but I could guess that it was almost early morning.

I walked towards where he already was, picking a comfortable chair similar to his and sat down.

"Tell me, princess. How good is your memory?" His voice startled me and I sneaked a glance at him. He had opened his eyes, but he wasn't looking at me. Far from it. His attention was on some decanter next to his chair, but his face looked like he was lost in some memory that only he could remember. I could tell he didn't mean the question with regard to what had happened with Lee Jong In. He ran a long finger over the rim, strokes tender. Then he brought his eyes towards me. His eyes had an odd glimmer, face unreadable.

I didn't answer his question. In fact, I wasn't planning on answering any of his questions. I simply continued looking at him with a blank expression. I had walked into enough traps for today and wasn't planning on adding to the number. If he was annoyed, it didn't show. He let out a long sigh and straightened in the chair.

"Here is the deal, Lin. I don't have any time to spare for your futile attempts of trying to act innocent or stubborn. You clearly haven't realized the gravity of the situation you are in, and it's showing. I am not going to keep entertaining your brattiness forever. " He stared deep into my eyes, devoid of warmth. "I don't make idle threats, and I don't make futile threats. You're going to be a good fucking girl and say yes sir, no sir, I understand, sir to all of my questions if you want to escape with your fragile illusion of an intact life, well- intact."

I glared at him again, not liking the threat. But he was right. I hadn't managed to grasp just how fucked this situation was for me yet. I needed to know, and right now only he could help me out of this mess. I needed him to be as amicable as possible, because I knew the rumours about him were true. He actually was dangerous, even if I was no pushover.

I sighed. "What do you want to know?" "You already know my question." "Why?" My tone was honest. "It doesn't concern you. He shouldn't concern you. I can promise you that your organisation is not a part of it. He-"

"Are you innocent?"

His question caught me off guard, my rambling coming to a stop. "What?" "I asked if you were innocent in all this." I pursed my lips. "If you are, then I don't see why you are so hellbent on keeping your mouth shut. Unless you are protecting someone. Is that so?"

I kept silent yet again. It was answer enough. No, I wasn't. Far from it, and he already knew it.

"Thought so. Now, I don't like doing this but I am going to ask again. Tell me what your deal with Lee Jong In is."

"He was someone I didn't like." "And his son?" "An accident." Something changed on his face. If I wasn't wrong, there was a flash of disappointment. I couldn't explain why but I didn't want him to be disappointed with me. "You killed him by accident?" "I didn't kill him." I sighed. His son's face started resurfacing in my mind, and I gulped it down before I could throw up. I looked away. "I saw him, but I didn't kill him." He made a sound of affirmation. "Then why did you call him an accident?" "Because I saw him that day as one. It wasn't my intention to." "Where did you see him?" His questions refused to stop, and I knew he was trying to catch holes in my answers. "I'm not very sure. It was years ago."

"You know what I think, Iseul?"

He reached into his pocket. "That you are lying."

He threw a few pieces of paper on my lap. I looked at them without wanting to and went pale from inside. Not because I had been caught, but because I hated being reminded of that day. Pictures of my father's men 'escorting' Lee's son into our hotel with a time stamp, taken by a camera. Pictures of Jihun discussing something with the security. Men carrying small boxes inside, others with a couple of briefcases. A certain picture caught my eye. One of me entering inside, a lot later than others. He dropped a last one, of me exiting with the twins, my expression looking haunted. Pictures of the young boy coming out were noticeably absent. These weren't from the cameras around the building, these were taken by someone. Which meant I had been followed. Years ago. And I had no clue.

"Not quite accidental, now don't you think?" "I still didn't kill him." "But he died under your watch. You might not have pulled the trigger, but you loaded the gun." "That is not what happened." "Then tell me what did." "I can't." A hand suddenly grabbed my face, forcing me to look upwards. His face came into view, and I tried to look away again. "I don't care what you can't do, Lin. If you think holding off till daddy interferes will get you out of here, you're sourly mistaken." Anger seethed from his expression, but I couldn't bring myself to care. He had made a huge mistake with the pictures. He really shouldn't have shown them to me.

"You listen carefully to me, Seonghwa. You can threaten my life all you like. I. Am. Not. Saying. A. Thing." We stared at each other for a few more moments. He didn't look disturbed at the fact that I had taken his name so casually. "We'll see about that." He dropped my face and I battled the urge to massage my jaw. His grip hadn't been gentle, not in the least. He walked to the chair, taking his suit jacket off and draping it over the backrest. Meanwhile I couldn't help but keep staring at the photos resting over my jeans, trying to rake my brain to remember if I'd ever felt like I was being followed. Or photographed, as evidence suggested, but I came up empty. I couldn't help but keep wondering what plan did he have to deal with my family. I had been taken against my will, but they couldn't take me as a captive. That would mean war. They couldn't risk that, and our families weren't enemies. Kim Hongjoong shared stable relations with my father and uncle. There had to be something I was missing here, which could answer the reason behind my situation.

I escaped from my trance to see that Seonghwa was staring at me intently. Or more likely, gouging my reaction to the photos. I decided to be the one asking questions, just to answer a few of mine. "How did you manage to pass our security at our own property to get these?"

"I had someone follow you." Huh. I couldn't help but blurt, "Me?"

"Who else? Did you really believe that I wasn't aware of your men following my every move? I'm merely returning the gesture."

"I hadn't realised that The Park Seonghwa kept an eye on someone as low and unimportant as me." "Don't play dumb, Lin. Don't think I am unaware of who you are. Your dear uncle may pretend to have all the trust in the world over Hongjoong's friendship, but Lin Baek Ho is a suspicious old man. I let it happen out of respect for his experience and giving him the benefit of the doubt. I could and would pull out a list of offences you've committed that warrants your detaining without having a single brow raised at me." He took a seat on the same chair, leg folded above the other. "Hongjoong is limited by the woes of his position. I am not. If you think that I don't know you have your fuckbuddy tailing my every move in the city even now, you aren't as smart as I had given you credit for." So he knew about Daesung. He wasn't my lover, but the fact that Seonghwa thought so made alarm bells go off in my head more urgently than before. I shrugged. "I call it enquiring." "You can call it whatever you want. Do not for a moment expect me to believe you're not a part of your family's infernal dealings." I stayed silent for a moment, trying to process just how much he already knew. He knew more than I had thought possible. Fuck.

"I....left that world behind. I was never fully a part of it anyway. I only look after the commercial investments. "

Seonghwa stared at me for a full minute. And then he laughed. Laughed. A full blown genuine laughter that shook his body. The sound bounced off the walls and went straight to my bones. "Iseul love, you don't escape this world. The door burns itself to ash the second your body crosses the threshold." My cheeks heated at being called love. Fuck me, I liked how my name rolled off his tongue. But if this casual conversation was going to keep him off the actual question, I was willing to play along. "Come on princess, tell me what I want to know and I'll let you walk out of the building alive." His implication was subtle. "Is that a threat, Park Seonghwa?" "It's a promise." "You say you know who I am. So, Mr. Park, are you confident enough to walk out of this unscathed if it comes to blows against me?" He stayed silent, expression one of contemplation. I knew what he was seeing on mine, a mocking question. "You're dragging this conversation." He said. "I'm having this conversation." I countered. He didn't miss a beat. "I want to have Jong In's conversation." "There is no conversation to be had." "A Lin ordered a hit on him and four hundred people saw you talking to him in Perles D'argent. You executed the hit on him, Lin Iseul. Everybody in our world knows that. Then his son was found dead. Don't pretend this isn't something personal. You might have distanced yourself from the news and acted like it didn't happen but an important link in our world was wiped that week and he took crucial information with him."

I looked at Seonghwa then, properly looked at him. His breathing had deepened, breaths becoming longer. His eyes were focused, not missing a single action from my side. The shirt fitted his form well, clinging to his sides with some sweat. He was leaning ahead on his elbows. A vein popped out near his temple, inviting me to press my lips-fuck. He was just as droolworthy as he had been back then. But he had given away one thing, his unbridled curiosity. I could see an opening in his technique. "Was Lee perhaps, working for you?" Seonghwa blinked. "So what if he was?" Let me guess, Lee took something from him. Knowing the rumours about Seonghwa, he did not take such transgressions lightly. Nobody did, but he was harsher than a lot of them. "He has something you want. Or even better, he has something of yours." Interesting. "Who would've thought, the infallible Park Seonghwa had a loose end running around the city showing off his wealth. What a time to be alive, don't you agree?" His expression didn't change. Clearly, he wasn't as amused as I was.

"Your family took something from him, something that doesn't belong to you. It is in your personal best interests if you hand it over. I will not hesitate to bury you six feet under, Iseul. Pretty or not. War or not." I took something from Lee Jong In alright, but this was not it. And he thought my family was involved. "Have you considered asking my family for it?" "I am asking you." "Ask my uncle." "He didn't take it, you did." "Are you sure?" "I have enough reason to believe so." "I'll say this again, Seonghwa. I am not my family. I have no reason to take anything from anyone. You said it yourself, I am the most normal person with Lin blood. I am just a member of the board in our real estate holdings." "Don't give me that crap, Iseul. Anybody who believes you aren't heavily involved in your family's not so clean businesses is blind." "So almost everyone from our world is blind?" "You can fool them all, you can't fool me. Hell, you have more sway and power than that greedy piece of shit Renjun. You sanction almost every port deal of your family. He slowed down. "Deny it, I dare you." Show your face, I dare you. San had said that to me two years ago. I shook my head. "I have no idea what you think you know." Seonghwa was about to counter, but there was noise at the door. Both of us glanced at it, and Kim Hongjoong walked in towards us. He took a moment to absorb the scene, a look at the photos on my lap, Seonghwa sitting on the opposite chair, and the expression of calm fury on our faces.

"Seonghwa, can you come out for a moment?" Hongjoong's voice was tight, something I hadn't expected. Park, however didn't even move from his seat. "I'm busy, as you can see." "With our lovely guest, I already know. It's an order, soldier." Seonghwa visibly straightened, clearly not liking having rank being pulled on him. They were almost equal in power, everyone knew that. If not confirmation enough of his distaste, his expression soured even more. He got up with a last look leveled at me, before heading outside with his leader. The door closed firmly, effectively locking me inside with nothing to do whatsoever.

I took the opportunity to get a better overview of the situation. From the looks of it, Seonghwa was acting on his own. The fact that he was insistent on hearing the story from me either meant he wanted to verify something, or he genuinely hadn't been able to get his hands on some information. I was almost sure it was the former. I had no reason to protect what had happened between me and the Lees. But I couldn't let them discover about Mirah, the two incidents were too close. I had made a promise to my friend and I intended to keep it, however twisted my methods were. I closed my eyes. I hadn't slept in more than twenty four hours and I was starting to feel the fatigue. Seonghwa did not know about Mirah. It was obvious. He wouldn't have been so complacent with me otherwise. Atleast I had that going on for me.

The door budged and footsteps walked in. A very displeased Seonghwa, unreadable Hongjoong and a calm Yeosang followed . Kang gave me a weird expression, but it was fleeting and he quickly looked away. My heart sank. I knew what that expression meant. He had gone through my phone. I kept looking at him, hoping there was some way I could sign him not to say anything. It would be futile though, and the sinking feeling in my stomach deepened.

"This has to be addressed in front of everyone," Hongjoong was saying to Seonghwa in a low voice. They clearly weren't done discussing things, or to be specific Hongjoong wasn't. Seonghwa's expression was clear indication that he did not want to be a part of it. "Let me deal with it." Hongjoong didn't like the response. "You didn't tell me who she was Seonghwa, are you out of your mind? You know who she is. You can't make those allegations without proving them." He got nothing from Seonghwa in response. I clearly was not expected to be a part of said conversation, and all I could do was intently listen. "Don't act rash, Park. A lot can be at sake here if she wishes." "I said leave it to me, Joong. I don't want anyone involved. It is between me and her." "Is this your ego or you talking?" "I have it under control." "I am calling everyone. This is not your call to make." "No you're not. She's mine." My spine jerked at that. Hongjoong gave me a glance, before looking back at his second in command. Heat threatened to rush to my cheeks and I fought to keep it down. I was sure they knew who I was, and Hongjoong hadn't liked what Seonghwa had done. That made two of us. "Fifteen minutes, Seonghwa. You can have fifteen minutes with her before I involve the others." His underboss clearly did not like the decision, but he pressed his lips shut. Hongjoong left without looking at Yeosang, who was waiting to talk to Seonghwa. Well, this was the end of it. Yeosang whispered into Seonghwa's ear, showing something in his hand. My phone. The frown in his eyebrows increases with each passing second, his face actually losing some color. He looks...horrified.

Seonghwa looks at me, eyes widening to emulate soccers.

"Iseul, you have a child?"

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

A/N: It's late late! I know. But it's here I guess.

#ateez fanfic #mafia ateez #choi san #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jung wooyoung #kang yeosang #song mingi #choi jongho #jeong yunho #mafia seonghwa smut #ateez smut #look what you made me do

[lokisprettygirl]

Dead to me (Loki x Female reader) (Heavy angst)

Summary : Loki is gone. You are living by his memories, and for the moments when you get to feel him around you.

Warning: Angst, Death, Major character death, Grieving

Note : Had a dream last night and had to write it down

He never had a chance, the car swirled off the road and it all happened so fast you didn't have time to even blink. He was gone, far away from you and it was your fault. It was all your fault that you distracted him, if it wasn't for you wincing because you got a stupid cramp he wouldn't have looked your way, he wouldn't have lost his focus, he wouldn't have missed the truck coming straight towards you both. You'd still have him in your life.

But he is gone now and you'll never be able to hold him, touch him or kiss him. You will never get to wake up with him, or sleep in his arms, you'd never hear him laugh or giggle or dance your worries out in the living room. He was gone. Your husband was dead. You don't even remember how you got out of that horrible accident, you didn't understand why you were still here when he wasn't with you, you don't even remember the funeral, the grief was too much to bear, it was as if you didn't even attend it.

You wandered around the house you two shared aimlessly, your day consisted of just wanting to get a glimpse of him and sometimes you did. Was it a ghost? You didn't know but he comforted you with his presence, you often heard him crying at night too, you would recognise his cries anywhere. That didn't scare you , it only made you want to jump into his arms and comfort him.

But he was gone, far away from you and had no hope of returning this time. Was his soul restless? Did he not make it to heaven? The thought broke you because you wanted him to be at peace finally. He deserved to be there and you wanted to join him whenever death would come for you as well. That was the only thing keeping you here in this house, a promise of a lifetime that he made to you, you knew you'd see him someday in heaven. Get your Happy forever.

You woke up every morning only to stay stayed cooped up in your house, the walls held all of his memories, it had pictures of your time with him and also the imprints of the nights he made love while he held you against it. That life was everything you have ever craved for then why did fate take him away so cruelly? Why were you alone again? Why wasn't he listening to you anymore?.

Sometimes you looked at him sitting on your bed, he'd hold the frame that had your wedding picture and just cry. He'd just cry and cry, the sound managed to break you. It was impossible to escape him in that house, he was everywhere but then you could never touch him. Everytime you tried he'd look around as if he didn't even want to touch you, did he blame you as well? And then he left. You didn't feel him around you anymore and the thought killed you. You can't lose him completely.

"Lokii I'm here baby, please give me a sign that you can hear me" you mumbled to yourself as you sat down on the couch in your bedroom, holding the soft toy that he gave you. Tears didn't stop coming but of course you didn't hear from him, you only heard him at nights or whenever he wanted you to hear him. Life felt as if you were just barely keeping yourself afloat. You didn't even remember the last time you ate, you were skipping meals and you knew how he abhorred it but you couldn't do it.

You didn't remember when you woke up or at what time you went to sleep, you haven't talked to anyone since Loki died and you didn't know if they were giving you your space or they just didn't care about your existence anymore. You needed friends but they never came to see you and you never wanted to leave the house because you were afraid you'd miss him showing up like he does at the most random of times.

You heard the door opening and saw Thor entering, you looked at him and smiled but he ignored it.

"I know you are upset with me, it was my fault but–" you mumbled desperately but he walked past you, he didn't even look at you, he didn't want to look at the person that killed his brother. You didn't blame him but it still hurt, you and Thor used to be the best of friends, it was only because of him you built the courage to ask Loki out because like Thor said his brother was a fool when it comes to matters of the heart. Your best friend didn't even want to look at you anymore.

You followed him to the bedroom as he packed his brother's belongings in a bag and stormed out.

"Thor Thor, please talk to me I'm sorry I really am sorry" you cried as you collapsed on your knees, Thor looked behind and his eyes were teary, he looked as if he wanted to say something but then he quickly stormed out again.

Weeks passed and on the night of your fifth anniversary you somehow managed to get yourself dressed up, you didn't feel Loki around you anymore but you knew today he'll come to you. He had to, you both had so many plans for this anniversary, you both were ready to make a family, bring a baby. That wasn't possible now but you still wanted to have him around you.

At night you could finally smell his cologne in the living room, so you stepped out of the bedroom. He was sitting on the couch, holding the wedding band and crying again.

"Lokii" your eyes welled up as he broke down.

"I'm sorry I didn't save you darling, I'm sorry I failed you like this, I'm sorry I'm the reason you are gone, I miss you, come back to me I love you. I can't go on and live this life without you my sweetheart" he weeped and sobbed so you stood in front of him.

He looked around as if he was in shock, as if he could finally feel you, that's when you realised that it wasn't him who died that night. It was you and everything made sense.

It finally made sense.

#loki #loki x female reader #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader angst #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader oneshot #loki oneshot #loki x reader drabble

[safetycar-restart]

We must discuss James holding a stuffed elephant in the promo for the newest Callum episode. Poly!Little!ScreamingMeals?

Absolute chaos of having three littles running around and needing Mommy/Daddy

oh my god screaming meals!! We haven't talked about those lads in so long!! Guys we HAVE to bring back poly!screaming meals. We must, those men need to be pegged. Anyway lets discuss poly!screaming meals and little space :))

So I actually think that James wouldn't be a little? Instead you and him are the two caregivers and clem and James are the two littles and it's perfect. (I'd say all three of them are subs, while clem and Marcus are littles and you and James are their caregivers, so James is a sub and a caregiver).

I think James knew about clem and Marcus being littles long before the relationship started? He had been Marcus's caregiver for years, and then when he met clem he easily became clem's caregiver as well.

It's complicated for a little while when the relationship first forms, because clem and Marcus feel like they have to hide the fact that they're littles from you. Which is so so hard because you're already their dom so it feel so natural to regress around you?

James, of course, encourages them to tell you because he's 100% certain that you will love and accept that side of them (and also because he desperately wants to care for them with you?).

Eventually it's Marcus that tells you first, when you are visiting him alone in America. He hadnt seen Marcus in weeks, meaning he hadnt had a caregiver in weeks and as much as he loved the day you dommed him the night before, he desperately needs to regress.

You're shocked when you find out, but only because you can't believe you didnt know about this. You hug Marcus tight and promise him that you're more than okay with that and that you'd be honoured to care for him. He's dropped before you can even finish talking because he needs it so bad, leaving you to frantically call James over and over until he answers and gives you a rundown of how to help Marcus.

Clem tells you soon after, pretty much the moment he found out you had accepted and cared for Marcus, he told you. You accept him too of course, and when you tell James that you can't wait for the two of you to care for them together James is so happy he could cry.

And yes, Marcus and clem together are pure chaos but it's just so good anyway? James is the 'fun' caregiver, he plays games with them and plans activities and takes them on outings. You're more of the 'calm' caregiver? You tell them stories and offer them cuddles and put them down for naps. You and James make the perfect time together and it's so good.

#poly!screaming meals #little!driver/rider #little!marcus #little!clement #cn #ma #gn!reader

[disaster-vampire]

pls talk about the shelf

i was desperately hoping someone would ask me to rant abt it akehdjshd i'm kissing you sweetly on the forehead anon

okay so if anyone sees this out of context: i have a shelf in my bookcase dedicated to hannibal. yes it's kind of like a weird little shrine but leave me alone.

be warned this is going get LONG.

so, it has the obvious: the hannibal books, the tv show box set, the tv show's cookbook, my fancy copies of the divine comedy (they're hardcover with gorgeous sleeves that have art printed on them to match each book), and i also have the iliad and the odissey in there in a single big book that i bought on a whim when out once and then after buying it i found out it also had the original greek alongside the italian translation and i lost my mind. i've never felt such pure joy and i can't even read greek. yet.

as for decorations, as of right now there's a piece of driftwood that is kinda shaped like an L so it stands up on its own and it also kinda resembles an antler.

there's this fuckin box, i don't even remember how i got it, but it's made of bones. it's shaped kinda like a stereotypical treasure chest but it's literally made of bones. the inside is lined with red velvet.

i'm not sure what else to decorate with? i've put in a seashell but it can't even be seen because the shelf has glass doors but the shell is covered by the frame (might move everything to another shelf where the frame is not in the way tbh just so i can decorate with tiny things at the front).

i just moved this whole thing from my other bookcase (i just got this new one today because i have too many books and in my first bookcase the shelves are literally bending with the weight of the books piled up on them) and when it was there i also had a teacup in there along with a lighbox that says "bone saw time! 🖤" but this new shelf feels very elegant and there's also not enough space for the lightbox. i also had a bust of dionysus there but i'm going to move it to my dionysus altar.

i've got an old scalpel somewhere too and i'll try to find a visible spot to put it. i also have 3 tiny japanese plates that were all given to me as gifts and some souvenirs from japan from a friend too but idk if i wanna put japanese stuff in there. like it's fitting but at the same time idk if it's disrespectful or not.

if i had money and more space i'd make this whole thing bigger and get like. a little frame with fly fishing lures like the ones will made in the show and maybe something like some ethically sourced taxidermy. a snake skeleton and a mongoose skull would be really cool. maybe i could print out a little something with lures instead of buying real ones and like. a fake death's head hawkmoth taxidermy. i'd need some of those shadowbox frames and i'd make it so the pictures stand out a bit from the back so it looks like they have shadows. bc like i'm fairly certain real death's head hawkmoths cannot be ethically sourced at this point in time because ever since silence of the lambs came out people have started going insane over them.

i think my grandpa has this framed thing somewhere with sailing knots made with actual ropes in it rather than just pictures. haven't seen it in ages so i'm not sure anymore if it was my grandpa's or someone else's. probably my grandpa since he was in the marines when military service was mandatory in italy but idk maybe i saw it somewhere else. i could print out a small picture with various illustrations of sailing knots.

i also have these cards that my aunt gave me at one point that have prints of a lot of famous paintings with descriptions in the back and i THINK one was the primavera. it was either that or the birth of venus i'll have to check but either way there's at least one botticelli in there. i don't like botticelli much tho so 🤷

i plan at some point to also get physical copies of all the movies but idk when that'll be since i've found a different box set for the tv show with gorgeous covers that i plan to buy as well. also of the ones i currently own i think one of the dvds stopped working bc it got scratched while inside my pc because i was pausing and rewinding/forwarding too much. we'll see i guess.

now for the rest of the books. i have a medical book in there called the abc of the human body. i think the title is kind of hilarious for a hannibal shelf. i just found out today while moving books back and forth from one bookshelf to the other that i actually have two copies of this book and one of them was owned by a doctor that died i think like 15 to 20 years ago. i have a few other medical books that said doctor also owned on the shelf above. he also owned the scalpel i mentioned before.

there's the book skulls by simon winchester, which is a collection of pictures of skulls from one of the biggest skull collections in the world, along with a few inserts on biology if i remember correctly? i originally bought it for art references and i LOVE the cover so i made sure it was facing forward in the shelf.

there's the resurrectionist, which is a sci-fi/fantasy book kind of in a frankenstein-esque vein where the main character is this made up doctor who manages to make some mythological creatures through surgery & digging up dead bodies and i won't spoil it any further. the second half of the book is a whole bunch of medical/biology style illustrations of said creatures, their skeletons, their muscles, how certain parts of their bodies would function (for example i believe it goes into explaining the lungs for both mermaids and harpies). i don't think it quite fits thematically with hannibal but i think it's got The Vibe so i put it in there.

there's a book on saint lucy, who is the patron saint of sight. i have it because i was born with my skull being asymmetrical and the doctors immediately told my family it would likely cause problems with my eyes, and so instead of, you know, starting to take me to eye doctors from a young age, they swore me to saint lucy and left it at that. i'm likely going to go blind on my left eye at some point in my life btw lmao thanks st lucy <3 i do like her though. i like her iconography a lot, she's always portrayed as holding a plate with her eyes on it.

there's damien by hermann hesse, which is one of my all time favourite books. it's written in first person and it starts with emil sinclair's childhood, explaining that he sees the world in a very black and white way, and does so very literally because he speaks of the world of light and the world of darkness, which are kind of meant as good and evil. but then something happens to him that starts blurring the clear line he thought was between the two, which sends him into a moral panic until he meets max demian, who starts to make him see that there's more to both sides. the story as he grows up follows his "corruption" into someone who is neither good nor evil. it has a lot of implied homoeroticism, as it was written i think either in the 20s or the late 1800s so it couldn't be explicit but it is very much there and is expressed mostly through demian's mother. there's also a weird cult thing going on and the ending is a bit ??? and honestly i need to read it again because for such a short book SO much happens that i'm having a hard time summarising it accurately.

the only other books i remember being there rn (it's 1am i'm not turning the lights on again) are dracula, because cannibal/vampire count with a big castle, the butchering art, and les fleurs du mal, plus two other books written in french that i haven’t read yet because my french isn't the best, whose titles i don't remember rn, and one in italian that i've found at a used books stall once but i believe it's from a local author and i've never seen it in a bookstore nor online so there's definitely no english translation of it. i still haven't read this one either and i don't even remember what it's about, it might be a poetry book? not quite sure. but yeah these few ones i haven’t read are there like. on trial. if i read them and find them fitting they'll stay otherwise they go to another shelf. i also haven’t read les fleurs du mal nor the butchering art yet, so the same applies to them. i think that's all of them? i plan to put my art history books and regular history books on the shelf above as well next to the medical books to kind of carry the theme over lol.

i would like to maybe someday get some of the books that we've glimpsed from the bookshelves on the show but this is it for now!

anyway. tysm for asking me about it dear anon. you said but a few words yet they meant the world to me <3

#vamp rants #vamp's bookshelf

[yournotsolocalcryptid]

Room For Two

part 4/?

PREVIOUS (i guess we belong to each other) | NEXT (One)

tags: @transeliot @mentallyunstablebish @sarah0687 @@cjand10 @warmommy if you would like to be added or removed from my writing tag just lemme know :)

summary: you and billy arrive at your home and you tell him he'll be sleeping in your bed... alone

pairing(s): Billy/Four x gender neutral!reader

Word Count: 932

Warnings/Authors notes: emotions, repressed feelings, angst, fluff, there's only one you guys and there will remain one bed for the rest of the series so... mention of hospitals and injury, crying, negative and complex emotions. poor writing skills, poor proofreading and editing, an american writing a brit. I know its been super long since the last part but here ya go

When you and Billy arrive at your doorstep after leaving the hospital (for the second time), you start to panic again, just as you’d done the night before. Billy coming home with you and staying at your place for days or weeks on end wasn’t anything new so why was your stomach twisting like that? You were wondering if Billy was nervous at all when you felt his hand on your wrist, a soft request for your attention. You turned to face him and for a moment you both just looked at each other, you both had so much to say and just were not sure how to say it or where to start. You waited for Billy to say what he had obviously wanted to but instead, he just pulled you into a tight hug, the kind of hug only he could give you. The kind of hug you’d missed desperately since he’d gone. 

   “I’ve missed you, love” he said, his lips brushing your skin as he spoke. Then, after what felt like an eternity and yet, not quite long enough, he let go, stepped around you and continued to your door.

   You shook off the feelings stirring inside you as you spun around to follow him. You unlocked the door and stepped inside, Billy at your heels. You flipped on the light, slipped off your shoes and locked the door behind you. You turn around to find Billy wandering around the small area you call home, re-familiarizing himself with the space he’d once known so well. 

   “you can have the bed. Amy said you’d have to be somewhere comfortable and you shouldn’t get up or move more than necessary for another few days at least and you'd have to continue to take it easy for the next couple of weeks because of your stitches” 

   “Why do I get the bed?” 

   Your brow creased in confusion “I just told you, You need to- 

   “No, why do I get the bed to myself? Why aren’t we getting the bed?” 

   Your mouth dropped open as words failed you. 

   “It’s not like we haven't shared a bed before” at this point he was no longer looking around the room but directly at you, his expression one of determined curiosity, as though he was daring you. Daring you to do what you didn't know. To confess why you didn't just share the bed to begin with? To join him? To hold your ground and sleep on the couch?

   “I’ll take the couch. I like the couch” 

Knowing arguing wouldn't help, all he said was “there's room for two if you no longer fancy the sofa”

   Later that evening as you lay on the sofa, wide awake and becoming more and more uncomfortable as the hours drug on you couldn't help but think of Billy in your bed. Warm beautiful Billy in your warm, comfortable bed. His words bouncing around in your brain. You turned over in one last-ditch attempt to stay where you were. 

“There’s room for two if you no longer fancy the sofa” 

you gave in with a huff and you hauled yourself off your makeshift bed and made your way over to the ajar door of your bedroom. You paused in the doorframe, questioning your judgment. The soft moonlight from the window illuminated Billy's face as he slept. He looked so peaceful and the scene was so familiar. You nudged the door slightly further open as you entered, then you lifted the covers and slid in next to the blond. He wrapped himself around you the instant you were comfortable and mumbled in your ear,   “I knew you’d cave eventually. Knew you couldn't resist”

   The next morning you awoke with billy half on top of you. He was sleeping soundly, his breath still deep and steady. You carefully moved just enough so you could roll to face him, but remain within his reach. He shifted a little but remained asleep. You’d missed this and everything about him but things had changed. 

   When billy left you were broken and since he came back all you can think about is how he lied and how he was able to abandon you and your heart broke again. Your eyes welled with tears and you slipped the rest of the way out from under him and headed to the bathroom, shutting both the bathroom and bedroom doors quietly behind you. 

  The room was only lit by the dim cold early morning light but you didn't care, turning on the lights hadn't even crossed your mind. You leaned on the sink, head hung low and willed yourself not to cry but you knew it was a battle you wouldn't win. Your breath was ragged as the first tear fell with more quick to follow. You turned away from your reflection, your back hitting the door softly and you slid to the ground. Tears streamed down your face and you sat, quietly sobbing as the sun rose higher in the sky. When the tears finally slowed and your breathing calmed, the small room was bathed in sunshine, starkly contrasting your mood.    After a while of just zoning out, your mind and heart numb to it all, you wiped your face of the stray half-dried tears still clinging to your face and stood. With a deep breath, you left the bathroom, unsure of how much time had passed. You took a few steps toward your small kitchen, thinking of breakfast then you stopped cold. A man you’d never seen before was sitting on your couch looking at you expectantly. 

#JSYUTK #kallan writes #ben hardy #billy/four x reader #billy/four #hurt/comfort #fic #ongoing series #6 underground #6 underground fanfiction #gender neutral!reader #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy fic #part four #room for two #writing #fan fic #just someone you used to know #6 underground movie #benjamin #fluff #angst #one bed #injury #multi part fic

[syoish]

TEN SECONDS - EREN/READER

I haven't posted about it on here because I'm SHY ABOUT THIS SHIT but I started posting the Attack on Titan Eren/Reader fic that I've been working on for the last few months.

It's kinda a coming of age fic about asexuality, overcoming past trauma, and going through the motions of getting better. Writing it was a really personal experience and I'm extremely proud of it.

Chapter 6/16 was posted this morning.

It's prewritten and I post a new chapter every day

PREVIEW BELOW THE CUT:

It starts at the end.

With the soft thud of your last moving box meeting the worn carpet floor in your new bedroom.

You can hear your new roommate down the hall in the kitchen, shuffling things around to make space for you in one of the cupboards.

Not that you have much, anyway. It’d been too much of a scramble when you were packing so all you’d really managed to shove into your beat-up minivan were the essentials. You try not to think about the things you forgot, but it’s impossible not to. Especially as your eyes move around the pathetic collection of mismatched boxes surrounding you.

The TV.

Your bookshelf.

The printer.

It’s all stupid things. Material things that you shouldn’t be upset you had to leave behind, but you can’t help the empty feeling that you get when you think about them. You tried to remember what your mom had told you on the phone two nights ago. Your mom. Because she was the only one you could turn to even though you’re supposed to be an adult that can handle yourself just fine.

'Don’t worry about the physical things.' Her muffled voice had come through your phone as you pressed it tightly against your ear, holding your hand to your mouth to hold back a choked sob. 'We can figure all of that out after. Just think about if you actually want to be there or not.'

You hadn’t. 

Not for a long time.

But leaving someone who’d been tied to your life for almost seven years wasn’t easy.

Even though it happened less than 24 hours ago, everything was still such a blur. You feel yourself forgetting bits and pieces of it and you’re scared. Scared for what forgetting means. Scared that if you forget too much… you’ll go back.

You force yourself to remember everything you can. Force yourself not to forget.

'You’re not that brave, stop pretending you are! This is an act that you’ll snap out of!'

'I can’t live without you!! You can’t leave me alone like this!'

'I’m sorry, I’ll stop. I’m sorry, I’ll stop just please don’t leave you can’t leave!!'

'NO ONE IS GOING IN OR OUT OF THIS DOOR!'

You swallow a lump in your throat as your hand reflexively moves to your bruised wrist. The clear purple imprints against it. Your fingers brush softly across the bruises. You push down against them, out of a sadistic desire to feel something. The dull pain slowly makes its way up your arm as your ears ring. You press harder. Harder.

Harder.

And then you drop your hands and tug your sleeve down to cover the marks.

Your roommate moves into the doorway. “The cupboard next to the fridge is empty.” She tells you.

“Thanks.” You reply.

“No problem.”

Then there’s silence.

Even though you go to the same university, you hadn’t met Mikasa Ackerman until a few hours ago when you were downstairs with your shitty old van packed with all your belongings.

You’d found her roommate wanted ad the night before and thankfully, even though you were desperate for anything, what she was looking for seemed to fit:

Student. Female. Quiet. Clean. No parties.

Basically, you in a nutshell. Thank god.

Perhaps sensing the awkwardness of the silence, Mikasa pushed away from the door frame. “I’ll be in my room if you need anything. You can move stuff around in the living room.”

You nodded and she left. 

Turning back to the room, you take a deep breath before opening your first box. 

Your hands tremble as they meet the cardboard. You feel your face become warm as your vision blurs.

You close your eyes and take a breath.

There are so many emotions running through you and you can’t put a name to a single one. Normally, there’s a voice saying something, yelling something, demanding something; but even that voice is silenced.

You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to dig your nails into your head so you can rip the feelings right out.

You feel so empty. You feel so full. You feel desperate and lost and confused and so fucking broken.

You’ve never felt more broken.

Useless useless pathetic useless selfish useless idiot selfish pathetic bitch.

Ah. The voice is there.

“Ten seconds.” You softly mumble to yourself. It feels a little silly to be saying it out loud, but it cuts the voice off before she can say more. “All you have to do is survive for ten seconds.”

1…

2…

3…

4…

5…

6..

7…

8…

9…

10.

Your eyes remain firmly closed, and the voice remains silent. You made it ten seconds. If you can make it ten seconds, you can make it ten seconds again, right?

So, you start to count:

1…

           2…

                      3…

       4…

                                       5…

#my post #my writing #attack on titan #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger #eren yaeger x reader

[timeoverload]

I had to leave work around 10:30 this morning. I tried so hard to keep moving but I couldn't do it. I can't stand for very long and it's hard to keep my balance. Last night my sock was blood stained when I took my shoes off even though I don't have any visible wounds so I'm not sure where that's coming from. It happened again today even though I wasn't on my feet as long. My leg won't stop vibrating. I felt so guilty leaving. The pressure on my bladder is worse today and I had to keep rushing to the bathroom. Sorry for sharing that information but it's really uncomfortable. I know I don't have a UTI because I took a test when I got home.

I am going to the spine specialist in the morning and I'm going to try to get in for an injection on Friday. I don't know how the hell I'm going to pay for it. They won't schedule me any more appointments if any of my bills go to collections so I need to get on top of it right away. I don't want to get my injection alone!!! I want someone there to take care of me!! :'( I hope I don't get a spinal headache this time.

I knew something bad was going to happen. I'm so tired of going through this alone. My dad is the only person that has actually been there to help me. I wish I didn't have to ask him to help me all the time. He already has so many other things to worry about. I haven't been able to drive anywhere for weeks due to the snow either. I have a lot of errands to run but I don't expect him to drive me everywhere.

I'm also feeling pissed off at the world because I have to go through all of this without anything to relieve my pain or stop my muscle spasms. I am so uncomfortable!! I wish I lived in Colorado or something... I want to run away sometimes but I know I couldn't do it financially. It's not fair!!! I don't really drink anymore either and it's been over a month since I had a beer. I can't remember the last time I got drunk.

I feel like I will be trapped in this prison (my bedroom) forever. I feel like a feral animal locked in a cage. My mess keeps growing and maybe if I'm lucky it will eventually just suffocate me while I'm sleeping. How the fuck am I supposed to clean when I'm like this?? I have to keep ordering more clothes and I have probably spent thousands of dollars over the past year. I lost track. I don't want to keep doing that and I could have used that money to pay off a lot of my debt. I don't have a choice because I'm not going to wear dirty clothes. I haven't felt good enough to put the new mattress pad on my bed that I bought like 6 months ago and I couldn't get the old one off so I just ripped it in half so I have a space to sit. I don't have sheets on my bed and I just have to lay on blankets. There is so much stuff on my bed that I can't use the other side. How am I supposed to do anything?? I am pathetic. I don't think anyone realizes how bad it is or takes me seriously. I wish someone would put me out of my misery sometimes. I am not going to hurt myself but existing is pretty terrible right now.

I don't think I would be so nasty and angry if I wasn't in so much pain constantly. I don't think people understand that. I'm generally the sweetest person and I try to be kind to everyone but I know I haven't acted that way lately. I feel like I have been very mean and I'm getting worse so I'm sorry for that. No one knows what it's like until it happens to them. Literally anyone can become disabled at any time so don't take anything for granted.

I remember years ago I had a co-worker who had been working in sterile processing for 15 years and she was such a bitch to me all the time and was hard to be around. I was afraid of her. I understand now why she was like that... she was in a lot of pain too. I definitely have a lot more empathy for her now. I hope she is doing better now wherever she is. I've also taken care of a lot of sick people and I know that pain can bring out the worst in someone. People tend to lash out more often when they are desperate for relief because they get ignored otherwise.

My head is killing me because I am dehydrated since I keep having to go to the bathroom almost every hour. It's making me dizzy. I'm glad I don't have to go to work tomorrow because I would probably cry. I managed to take a shower when I got home but it didn't really help me feel better. I think I am going to sleep the rest of the day. I had breakfast but I don't feel like eating anything else today and I don't care about food now. I hate eating. I don't want to be awake anymore because it's depressing and I have no desire to do anything. I'm sorry for being such a downer but this is just how my life is and I don't think it's going to change any time soon.

Hopefully everyone else is having a much better day than I am... thank you for listening to me vent. 💖💖💖

#personal

[dallonwrites]

from the oc asks: 🍑🌽🥃🌿 and 🍀!! (any oc you want but i wanna know about beau a little)

Well luckily my brain is just a rotation of Beau like a microwave so! I'm about to infodump

🍑 [PEACH] How do they show their kindness? How kind are they truly?

Beau has always been a kind character to me but in Lover Boy he struggles a lot with the "ugly" emotions that come with grief + emotional regulation in general (lol that grief + autism combo) so sometimes he THINKS he's become more jaded/meanspirited and I mean tbh...he has in some ways! It's hard not to when you go through a lot of sudden trauma! But I don't think that means he isn't "truly" kind. I like when characters have "contradictions" like that and what their awareness of it is (I also think with characterisation in fiction it's like...I'm not trying to write a "good" person I'm just trying to write a person. So even though I think Beau has a lot of kindness I try not to treat that as more "valuable" or than the not so kind parts of him, or as a redeeming factor.)

In terms of how he shows kindness, with his friends/loved ones he's absolutely a quality time guy he just loves spending time with people!! But also it's because he's terrified of being alone and he's having to confront that LOL

🌽 [CORN] How good are they at hiding and finding their way?

Okay this isn't very interesting for Lover Boy because like he just lives where he grew up LOL but in Winter's Slaughter (need to re-intro but basically: apocalypse AU set in a fucked up haunted forest) YESS he knows that forest like the back of his hand. He knows her rhythm. Which is a trait a lot of the main characters have but Beau has spent the most intentional time alone in the forest + he's also sooo good at being sneaky. Like he's SO quiet (autism swag) nobody suspects he's hiding around nearby.....the amount of people he has probably accidentally ambushed

🥃 [MATE] What does your OC look for in a friend? What do they find is a turn-off?

I think Beau finds it really easy to make friends because he comes off very extroverted (most of the time/in the right space) but he struggles to maintain deep and long term ones. Patience is probably the trait he looks for the most, because a lot of people haven't been patient with him

Also, you have to be nice to kids and be willing to hang out with his little brother. Like fair play if you don't like kids but Beau's brother is like his best friend and he wants close friends who would be happy to hang out with both of them (in Lover Boy he is 7 and Beau is 23! It's cute!)

🌿 [HERB] Is your OC religious? What do they believe in?

Oooh recently I've been trying to unpack + figure out Beau's relationship with religion in his upbringing and if he was raised religiously at all and I haven't decided for sure beyond being in a place that's culturally Christian. (Basically the basis of RR is a criticism of Christianity and I'd like that to extend to Beau even if he didn't have the same fundamentalist upbringing that Felix and Dorothy had). But as an adult there's two parts:

Absolutely has a growing resentment towards Christianity for a lot of reasons but specifically the way certain Christian communities weaponised AIDS as a punishment from God. Generally he would be an atheist anyway but seeing things like that just reinforces that for him

Desperately wants to believe in an afterlife because of all the people he knows, and knows of, who are dead. Not directly in conflict with above because you don't need Christianity to believe in an afterlife ofc but it's just something he finds very hard to conceptualise/visualise. He would def want to learn more about different belief systems re the afterlife so he can form something for himself outside the bounds of a Christian Heaven VS Hell

Ultimately though if you asked him what he believes in he would just say "ghosts" LOL and he is impatiently waiting for concrete proof that ghosts are real. Never met a man who wants to be legitimately haunted as much as he does

🍀 [FOUR LEAF CLOVER] Would your OC spend hours looking for a four leaf clover?

Absolutely + he would give it to his little brother

emoji themed OC interview

#thank you!! #lover boy #ask games