Tumgik
#just fix me because Im tired of being sick
thebirdandhersong · 18 days
Text
Respectfully. I am tired of being helpful :)
35 notes · View notes
mothslimes · 24 days
Text
said it before i say it again. maybe it's less internalized misogyny and more "girls who look and act like this literally bullied me from kindergarten to 12th grade and beyond" so no i would rather not talk to girls who treat female beauty standards as the holy law
#mik talks#if you think criticizing female beauty standards and those who impose them on others = criticizing all women then you might be the sexist#like im so fucking tired of feminism being all about the poor stereotypically beautiful women wearing pink skirts who are soo forced into i#hey what about the girls on the playground who were their perpetual fucking victims in their pursuit of gaining mild power#those who coulkd never even dream of fitting the mold because they werent white or straight or skinny or cis or whatever the fuck#like even the fucking barbie movie is about some beauty standard white blond skinny feminine woman being sad about sexism#this is what many terfs dont understand lul. for some feminity is a cage they dont even fit into#they have no fucking safe area of just performing their societal role#if i see one more 'fixed' 'pick me' comic where they make the author kiss the girl thats based on their bullies i will kill something#yeah blablabla the plastics in mean girls are actually victims yaaalll.... its so sad theyre the real victims......#when will yall accept that stereotypically beautiful (especially white) women still hold power. and are often bullies.#my mom is being harassed at her workspace by her exclusively female colleagues but u tell me again how female spaces are so wholesome#and oh tell me more about the perfect female commune and the matriarchy. god you guys make me sick#oh you felt forced into performing feminity and your friendships seemed a little fake? i was called slurs in 6th grade#they stole my stuff. destroyed my things. hit me. cyberbullied me. but oh you had it so bad#to be clear this is not to say these women hold the same power as men but yeah lets not infantilize girls who CHOSE to put others down#nerdy girls who make fun of popular girls being shallow were never the problem :skull: but you all called them misogynists for being pissed#for being bullied....and wanting to feel some mild sense of superiority in their lower social role
3 notes · View notes
iqmmir · 2 months
Text
Istfg are they for real right now
#.mimiming ❜#seriously? two entire fucking years for this?#man i give up#i just keep trying and trying to fix my friendships and trying to get over my issues#can someone just please fucking meet me halfway????#'youre too good for us' can you please stop being so fucking entitled and stop deciding for me???#if i wanted to stop talking to you i would#im not so fucking noble that ill spend my energy if i dont want to unless i get something out of it#i enjoy talking to you guys i like you all it's unfair that you just decide to stop talking to me because of shit like this#it's frustrating and annoying#'youre too kind' shut the actual fuck up shut the fuck up#if im too kind and nice and good then pay me back#all the effort i put into this for you. pay me back for that#im sick and tired of being the one who's expected to just. bear it all and stick with you regardless#im tired of it#stop trying to paint me as some sort of ultimate great and nice and sweet person and pretending all the bad parts of me dont exist#stop acting like im not asking you to put in some effort yourself#i get you have baggage but it's frustrating being the one fixing everything always#im supposed to be your friend not your mother not your therapist not your teacher#your fucking friend#'im not good enough' stop thinking im some sort of saint who should only hang out with sweet and nice people#i seriously just want you to shut the fuck up and listen to me for oncw#im doing this of my own free will so can YOU PLEASE JUST FOR ONCE SEE THAT I WANT YOU TO PUT SOME EFFORT AND WORRY FOR ME AS WELL#AND BE THERE FOR ME AND NOT FUCKING CUT OFF CONTACT AND EXPECT ME TO FIX EVERYTHING AGAIN#im tired im done if they think theyre not good enough i dont care anymore if they think im not someone they should be friends with then sure#im not putting up with this any more im done
2 notes · View notes
secondplayercanada · 1 year
Text
.
#ooc#vent#my brother and i got into an argument in the immediate family chat about2 hours ago and im still emotionally out of whack from it.#right now I'm struggling to feel anything but extreme dislike and coldness to him. I've felt so disrespected and unappreciated by him for.#well probably years now. a long time. and he blew up at me for no reason and basically said my autism is the problem.#something so intrinsic and unable to be separated from me is the provlem.tje thing that's been making it so harf for me for so long.#I'm sitting at work trying not to cry again as i type this .#i don't know if i will ever fully come back from this. i don't know if i *want* to try and fix things after this.#he seemed to hate me. and i dont even really care anymore. how sad is that. what hurts most is that it feels like confirmation that im#the problem. not him#me. like it always has been because ive spent most of my life undiagnosed and unknowing. suspecting but that's about it.#I'm sick and tired of not being comfortable at home. im sick and tired of being scared he'll hurt me. I'm sick and tired of him keeping#me awake at night. I'm sick and tired of him not even doing bare minimum and reaping all the rewards.#i hate how it feels like mum and dad are protecting him. how nothing ever changes and i keep trying but i can't do anything.#i can't even move out rental vacancy is less than 1% abd rents like $500+ a week.#i dont want to have to leave but i may have too just to keep my sanity and i hate it i hate it i hate it.#i hate him. i wish he would go away. i wish ue would face reak consequences and know how it feels. i wish mt sister woulf stop choosing him#like hes not the problem. i haye feeling like this.#i hate being the problem.
4 notes · View notes
thatdemiboymess · 17 days
Text
Even just half-heartedly looking for work as someone who is legally blind, autistic, with no highschool diploma, GED, or degrees and who can't leave the house is a very specific kind of let-down and disappointment that just really makes a person depressed.
#irl#vent#suicidal ideation#i am a money sink and a financial burden and trying to look for ways to fix that turns up nothing!!!#society abandons those who cannot work!!! and i sure do seem to be unemployable!!!#like#i would need a work from home job that doesnt require a highschool diploma ged or a degree that i can do as someone who is legally blind#at the LEAST#even just being a cashier at pet smart requires a fucking highschool diploma!!! and i cant even do that sort of work anymore!!!#i dont have any fancy little talents or areas of expertise either!!! i cant code i suck at source work i cant do graphic design!!!#what am i supposed to do#can someone just like put me down like a sick animal or smth at this point#because i feel like all i amount to at this point is a burdensome and childish good for nothing waste of space#and an additional source of stress and disappointment for everyone who has ever cared about me or had hopes for my future#sincerely feel like everyone who knows me would be better off if i were dead#no one would have to take care of me then - theyd be free of any burden i put on them#hell considering how few people i talk to and how little o do talk to ones i DO talk to they probably wouldnt even notice i were gone#and once they did they probably wouldnt be upset for long at all if they would be upset to begin with#my partner would be free to find a smaller more affordable place to live or could even get a car and live in it as he thought of doing#before if i werent around being a little needy whiny bitch#seriously whats even the fucking point#im so tired of just...fucking everything.#i dont talk about it much but i really do just feel like shit all the fucking time man#and i feel so fucking powerless and like i have no control of my life too#should probably be in therapy still but i just know theyd force me into the psych ward again#not that talk therapy would do shit for me anyways tho#i dunno#im tired and sad and hopeless and i just wanna go to sleep and not wake up again#not that it matters or anything though lololol
1 note · View note
autisticlee · 3 months
Text
what the fuck is conservatives' problem with hormone blockers. I don't get it. they whine and complain and make laws against giving kids hormones because "they're too young to decide and will regret going through the wrong puberty so young." so we said okay, we will just block puberty until they are adults so they have time to decide and aren't taking hormones as kids. AND THESE PIECES OF SHIT HAVE ISSUES WITH THAT TOO. they suddenly decide that (trans)kids must be forced to go through wrong puberty.
there's no middle ground or compromising with them. they simply want all trans people dead, illegal, and nonexistent. and I truly, genuinely do not get it. I don't understand!!!! their arguments never answer that. it's always dumb reasons like "it's bad and I don't agree" I don't agree with your beliefs so I guess that means you need to stop too 🤷
0 notes
godmademewithoutarms · 5 months
Text
Tbh. I think I'm aromantic for real this time
0 notes
risaonda · 1 year
Text
gets home from work starts looking into applying for boring office jobs
#venus ambassador give us a post#im like really actually at my limit i havent been this close to quitting my job on the spot since i quit my job on the spot (2020) LOL#then they changed what i was doing to keep me there. at this point now i dont think there Is anything that could make me stay#if i end up getting in somewhere else. im so sick of Everything going on at my store#amazed this is what pushes me to my limit but i dont think anything theres been quite as soul crushing 2 me as like#the complete overhaul of this process (that they spent a quarter of a million dollars on. paying someone to come up with this idea)#and enforcing it so aggressively even though it makes Literally No God Damn Fucking Sense#designed by someone who has never been a part of nor even so much as Watched a truck be done so has no idea what works and doesn't#the final straw for me is they have a specific order for how im supposed to have the clothing racks arranged#i cant set them up in a way that actually makes any sense because corporate wants it to be a Specific Way#and if we dont do it the Specific Way we get punished for it. im so tired#the actual final straw for me is hearing what the dm has said abt me but LOL thats a whole other issue#but like okay fine as long as im still there yall dont care i dont care. real shame it all comes up now when we have inventory soon#because im Not wasting my time anymore trying to fix anything that so desperately needs it. im done#sorry maybe it's just me but i am not and can not be content doing a horrendous job and being encouraged to do so#while also being made to feel bad that everything is bad and wrong after being encouraged to leave everything bad and wrong. im done!!!!#im doing less than the bare minimum and the higher ups are mad that im not doing even less than that :/
0 notes
afternines · 1 year
Text
.
#i mentioned this on twitter circle but i need to repeat myself here just cause i can#i am forever stuck in the befriending someone > getting obsessed with them > getting sick n tired of the obsession > ghosting them n ruining#our friendship cycle#like tell me why im on twitter friend 184726 and ive gone through the exact same process with each n every one of them#currently ghosting my latest friend and it makes me SO MADDSD cause i spent the last few months having brzakdowns in her dms abt how im#terrified shell get tired of me and well stop being friend and ill end uo alone again#and she kept comforting me saying that wont happen!!! shell stick with me forever!!!!! and here i am doing the ol switcheroo ghosting her#I AM AWARE that im so very in the wrong with this because she didnt do anything wrong its just like a switch in my brain clicked and i cant#even look at her username without getting nauseous n it makes me wanna kms bc i wanna dm her so bad but i physically cannot get myself to#do it#which is so stupid like. just fucking click the dm and type some words goddamn#i alr know im gonna lose her over this caus ethats how i lost everyone else too and it sucks so bad bc the problem is MEEEE yet i cant get#myself to fucking fix it#i genuinely dont know what to do#im so desperate to have good relationships with other people but every time i do i just end up sabotaging myself#and im so fucking self aware about it but i cant do anything about its like. staring at a zoo animal from behind the glass except the zoo#animal is also me and its jusr staring back at me with eyes full of anger because im also the person who got me captive behind the glass in#the first place#if that makes sense#n uhhh this is a conversation for another time but im gonna be forever craving and never getting a genuine romantic n intimate relationship#because of how i keep sabotaging shit#sev mentioned this at some point and i was like :(. like i was genuinely upset for them but just now it hit me in the same situation#like i fully understand sev im sorry it took me so long to realise#jesus fuck man. not having a normal brain really sucks
0 notes
ma1dita · 1 month
Note
its 2am and im delirious im so sorry but
jealous! (and maybe clingy!)luke x apollo!reader when he sees the same couple of campers constantly coming to you for medical attention over small scratches or feigned illnesses just to get your attention..and reader is just so kind to everyone they’d never refuse to treat anybody no matter how minor the injury, but it drives luke a little mad teehee 🤭
🐥 also happy (late) birthday jo!!
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥
luke castellan x gn!apollo!reader
a/n: i will never get tired of bf!luke.
wc: 947
“Be with you in a second, sweet boy!”
Your hands were fiddling with gauze as you brush past Luke sitting on the only empty bed left in the infirmary. And you weren’t even talking to him! Your words were directed to his half-sibling and with all the others waiting for you, it was obvious that you weren’t leaving your shift anytime soon despite his plans for your date night.
“Doc, what about me? I feel sick too,” he mutters into your neck, big hands pulling at your waist and playing with the smock tied around your frame.
“What’s the matter, my love?” You coo, brushing back his mop of hair and looking into his honey sweet eyes. He grins and it’s a bit boyish and quite sinister, all Luke with a definite trick up his sleeve. 
“My heart hurts…. because I pulled a few strings to have dinner with you at the lake and we’re not there right now,” he sighs, hot breath tickling your earlobe, “And I need you to fix me up too.” Cheeky asshole.
You bite your lip and slowly pull yourself away from his embrace, not without kissing the corner of his mouth before the fluttery feeling is weighed down by the reminder of your responsibilities at the sound of a scream from across the infirmary.
The room was filled with campers of all ages vying for your attention and waiting for your gentle hands to tend to everything from a scraped knee to a rising fever (though if you ask Luke, he’s so sure he saw Bradley from cabin 9 standing over the forge in the armory trying to break a sweat earlier).
It was sickening. Someone ought to tell these campers to get in line. Connor Stoll almost skips–excuse me, limps, (now that you’re watching him again) towards Luke with a shit-eating grin at his moody disposition at the fact that he has to fight for your attention.
“Beat it, loser.”
“Baby! Don’t be mean or I’ll ask you to leave. Get up, Connie needs to get his knee wrapped,” you say with a furrow in your brow. Your eyes dart around the room wondering where the rest of your siblings have gone to help you heal these campers, but unlike you, they’ve already clocked out for the day. It’s a wonder how many kids at Camp Half-Blood get brutalized, maimed, or both on the daily, but it’s all in a day’s work of being a child of Apollo.
“Yeah, move it bighead!”
Luke grumbles, rising to his feet and shoving Connor a bit harder than what’s brotherly, so much so that the preteen falls face first into the cot. (Luke thought it was dumb that the kid was acting like a baby since the idiot scraped his knee jumping off the roof of the dining pavilion because Travis and Chris dared him to.)
“OWWW!” he groans, and before you can react, Bradley’s asking for another cold towel and little Lila from cabin 4 starts crying about her sun poisoning from being out in the strawberry field—your shaking hands and wide eyes let Luke know you’re at your limit so he ushers you behind a curtain for examinations.
“Honestly, you’re overworked babe. Take a break,” he says sternly, but softens as you look up at him with a pout and a whole lot of love. He smooths your hair down and hands you a glass of water.
“Just need to see the rest of the patients for the day and send them on their way. I don’t want anyone to be hurt,” you mumble through sips, leaning against the wall and shutting your eyes. To Luke, it sounded like the quicker you get through this the more time he spends with you— and so he moves so quickly that you barely process what he’s doing until you hear various complaints from campers (who are annoyed that their new nurse isn’t as pretty as you and dons a fierce glare and curls that hang over his forehead like a dark cloud).
Nurse Luke models after what he’s seen you do here countless times, but in a way that’s very much his own. He gives out ambrosia and nectar, cleans up booboos where needed, tells Bradley to fuck off and take a cold shower, tapes Connor’s mouth shut, and awkwardly jokes to a kid from cabin 6 that he probably shouldn’t be the one doing stitches or he’ll get a scar that looks like the one running down his cheek. They agree to wait until later, holding bloody gauze to their chin.
By the time you’ve calmed yourself down, you pull back the curtain to see an eerily quiet infirmary (and you’re not sure if they’ve been threatened into silence) but everyone is bandaged, fed and watered—to the best of Luke’s ability. It brings up a sunny smile on your face that reminds him of the first rays of morning light which is a view he never gets tired of, and you finally throw in the towel when Leo and little Will come in for the evening shift. 
A resounding sigh is heard from the infirmary’s patients as you leave with your boyfriend, to which you don’t think much of as you look at Luke like he’s the answer to all of your problems. He kisses you in the doorway like its a cure, whispering sweet nothings and promises of a nice dinner at the lake even if it’s pitch black outside now.
It also serves to those damn kids as a reminder that he’s the one who gets to fuss over you and though he doesn’t like starting fights, boy, does he love ending them, in his own little way.
534 notes · View notes
Text
I wish I understood what it is I do wrong when interacting with others. I wish I knew why I'm never invited to things. Why no one interacts with me even tho I try interacting with them. Why I'm literally always left on the outskirts of gatherings even when I do my best to be present and involved.
What do I do wrong? Is it something I say? The way I say things? Do I cross lines or not follow some unwritten rules no one's told me? What part of me is so broken that I can't make lasting connections with anyone? Or that no one wants to make them with me?
And I know that it's not that I'm autistic because one of my fellow interns is also autistic. Just in a very different way than I am. Or maybe it's because he's a guy and I'm not? And his autistic behaviors are ok because he's a guy and mine are too weird because I'm a girl?
I don't know. I'm just. Very tired of always feeling like this. I'm so tired of feeling alone even when surrounded by others.
0 notes
imasoftieforbarb · 5 months
Note
Hi! This had been on my mind for some time and im wondering if u can write it? Clay with a fiancee that unlike like most trolls is an introvert? And doesn't go out much. She looks tired, like messy hair and sleepy eyes.
It's because she has 4 older brothers of whom the oldest has a sickness which makes him bedridden, so she takes care of him. The other brothers have gone their seperate ways- only visiting once every 5 months or so. And could you also do brozones reaction to this? Take your time and thank you!
Tumblr media
Clay x Introvert Fiancé Reader
He knew your family situation was sorta like his
He just didn’t know the extent of it
The way you guys met was through Viva
She introduced him to you cause you were pretty low key and he was too tired for upbeat-ness
When he asked you to be his fiancé you sat him down (after you said yes with the biggest smile ever) and explained the full story behind your family
The reason you leave Putt Putt Village every month? To look after your older brother who’s seriously ill
Your other brothers? You have no idea where they are
He comforts you through it all- he gets special permission from Viva to leave with you to look after your brother together
No way in hell is he gonna let you go through that alone
On your journey to where your oldest brother lives, he explains his family situation
And you both talk about it- a heart to heart
You definitely both start crying
I like to hc Clay as someone who likes to read to his S/O
So he reads to you to help you calm down and sleep
He meets your older brother who is absolutely ecstatic to meet ‘the famous Clay who’s got my little sister swooning’
You glare at him playfully from behind Clay
Clay enjoys spending time with your brother, who tells him that he’s happy you’ve got someone to lean on now
Clay sees how hard you work to make sure your brother has everything and is comfortable
Clay also meets the nanny (who apparently has a crush on your brother)
When you leave, your brother demands that he gets to come to the wedding and tells Clay to take extra good care of you
When he meets his brothers again, he introduces you but makes sure they don’t encroach on your personal space
Explains that you’re an introvert
They all go “aaaaaaaah gotcha” then start bombardons you with questions from a safe distance
They didn’t get the hint
You don’t go with them- Clay insists you stay in the village, he doesn’t want you in danger
You have a heartfelt hug and kiss before you run off to delay viva from finding out
“You gotta promise me you’ll be safe”
He presses a final kiss to your lips before softly resting his forehead on yours
“I promise”
It takes everything in Bruce to not cry
You do join in the journey with viva- you wanna make sure he’s alright
You end up being the one to free him from the shoulder pads and you have a quick hug through the diamond before they leave to trip Velvet
You stay with Viva and Poppy whilst the brothers cry for Floyd
Clay introduces you to Floyd as soon as possible
You end up getting along pretty well-
Then one day, when Brozone, Poppy and King Peppy are visiting Putt Putt Village to pick up Viva but also see the full extent of it
Your three other brothers show up
By this point your wedding is approaching and you’re stressing out a little bit
But you’ve also told Clay, and the others about your relationship with your other brothers
And even Poppy can see that the bond can’t be fixed
So when they show up?
They’re met with an angry Clay refusing to let them see you knowing how much it hurts when they turn up just to leave
Disappointed Bruce and Floyd who just look on with deadpan expressions, shaking their heads
JD runs to get you- letting you know that you have a choice and you don’t have to see them
You end up seeing them, holding Clays hand for comfort as you do the bare minimum of introducing them to everyone
Asking your brothers what they want now, only rolling your eyes when they tell you they need various things from you
You kick them out of the village, telling them the only way they can come to your wedding is if your older brother lets them come
They all pale cause there’s no way that’s happening
Clay holds you whilst you have a little cry
100/10 husband material
Let me know if I should do a PT2 the wedding!
367 notes · View notes
joekeeryswife · 5 days
Text
Outbreak Day - J.M
a/n: hello angels! reader is 26 and pregnant and Joel is 36. there is a little twist 😵 best way to describe this imagine is that it’s sad, long and has a shitty ending lmfao. okay anyways, enjoy reading 🫶 please send me in some fluffy requests and some dad! joel requests too!!
big trigger warning this imagine is very gory and descriptive!
Tumblr media
“Sarah honey, is that you?” you turned to look at the front door and saw your step daughter Sarah coming home from school. “hey mum” she said as she set her backpack down on the floor. “how was school?” you walked toward her and gave her a small hug and a kiss on her forehead.
“was good. got dads watch fixed but everyone acting weird, cops everywhere, shops closing early. i don’t know just weird” she said making your heart pound a little, you didn’t know why but hearing her say that scared you but you tried not to dwell on it too much. “yeah well it’s probably just people being stupid. we shouldn’t worry too much okay?” she nodded but then groaned making you frown.
“dad told the Adlers i’d go over there to help them make cookies” she sighed, it wasn’t that she didn’t like the Adlers it was just she wanted to spend time with you and her dad as it was his birthday. “look, go there for thirty minutes then say i need you home, i don’t mind you blaming me.” she smiled and thanked you.
“i was going to make your dad a cake but we don’t have the ingredients and i was too tired to go food shopping so he should be brining one home, he’s going to be home earlier today as well” her eyes lit up as you spoke “is it a chocolate cake?” she asked watching you nod. “i didn’t tell him it was because you have been craving one i told him it was because i was” Joel hated chocolate cake but for his girls he’d do anything to please them.
“thank you mum, you’re the best. i owe you one” she said as she turned to go out the front door again to the Adlers house. “no worries honey, if Mrs Adler bakes chocolate chip cookies please bring me one, the baby is craving them like mad” you said as you rubbed your growing stomach. she nodded and said her goodbyes before leaving to spend the worst 30 minutes of her life with the Adlers.
-♡-
“hey baby girl. how was school?” Joel asked as he finally got home, four hours later than expected. “you’re late” she said, completely ignoring his question as her eyes shifted from the TV to him. you had both been waiting for him on the sofa watching Harry Potter and you had fallen asleep not even halfway through the movie. being pregnant had made you extremely tired so it wasn’t a shock to Sarah when she saw you put a blanket over yourself and curl up into a ball on the sofa within the first 10 minutes of the movie playing.
“i know, im sorry. work has been crazy, guys calling in sick, it was just me, uncle Tommy and Dave in today. i meant to phone mum but my phone died” he said as he made his way over to the two of you. his heart melted when he saw you sleeping next to Sarah, you’d never looked cuter. “its fine, we had fun without you anyways” he lifted up your feet so he could sit between you both, careful to not wake you up in the process.
“did you at least get the cake?” she said shyly as Joel got comfortable on the sofa. “oh shit” he put his head in his hands “im sorry honey i completely forgot” she nodded, understanding that he obviously came straight home as soon as he finished work. “mum is probably gonna kill you. she wanted cookies earlier from the Adlers but they were making raisin instead of chocolate chip so i didn’t even bother asking if i could bring one home for her” Sarah said and Joel wrapped his arm around her shoulders, his other resting on your legs.
“i’ll get you guys a cake tomorrow, i promise it just completely slipped my mind” she shook her head, indicating that it was fine and she understood he was stressed. Joel felt you stir and you woke up, your hair all over the place and your bones cracking as you stretched from a very good nap. “hi baby” Joel said softly as you looked at him.
he unwrapped his arms from Sarah’s shoulders for a moment so he could give you a hug and a kiss. “i miss you so much” you said as you sat up so you could rest on him instead of the arm of the sofa. “i missed you too. how are you? how’s the baby?” you nodded, still half asleep.
“fine, kicking like crazy” you were only six months pregnant and your unborn daughter was already giving you a hard time. you rested your head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around both you and Sarah, pulling you both into him. “did you bring home the cake?” you asked making him sigh “no, i’m sorry baby, i forgot” you shrugged, eyes closing again as you tried to fight sleep but it was no use.
“i love mum so much but she could have slept through world war 2 and not have been disturbed at all” she said making Joel laugh quietly, trying not to wake you up. to be fair, carrying this baby had knackered you out and he understood that you needed sleep but sometimes you would be halfway through a conversation with him when he got home from work and you’d be falling asleep whilst you were taking. “to be fair, you aren’t wrong there” he ran a hand through your hair gently as he admired you, you were stunning and he loved you so much.
“anyway, let’s try spend some time together tonight, let’s put on a good film, this is shit” Joel said making Sarah scoff and look at him “that is a lie. Harry Potter is the best” he shook his head. “take it back or you work get your present” she said making him gasp. “you wouldn’t dare do that” he said to her, making her give him the ‘try me’ face which made him quickly change his comment and apologise to her.
she grabbed the box off of the coffee table and handed it to him. he unwrapped his arm from her yet again to try open it with one hand without waking you up. he opened the box and saw his now fixed watched that had been broken for three months. “aww baby that’s so sweet, thank you” he kissed her forehead and tried to put the watch on but failed miserably making Sarah help him put it on. “okay now we can watch your stupid old film dad but don’t expect me to stay awake” she said as they both got comfortable again “i wouldn’t dream of it” he smiled at her.
-♡-
green and blue flashing light woke Sarah up from her sleep. she looked around the room confused, she had somehow ended up in her bedroom and didn’t hear any noise in the house. she sat up as she heard helicopters fly over the house and car alarms go off. she quickly got up calling out for Joel as she walked around the house but she only found you in bed asleep, no sign of Joel.
she felt awful waking you up but she had no other choice. she crept to the side of your bed and shook you awake. “mum, can you wake up please?” you jumped awake when you felt her hand on your shoulder. “what’s the matter sweetheart?” you asked but your question was answered when another helicopter flew over the house. “what the hell?” you said sitting up quickly.
you grabbed your phone which was on the bedside table but there was no service. “what’s happening?” Sarah asked as you quickly got dressed out of your pyjamas. you were going to go outside and you didn’t want your neighbours, if they were awake, to see you in your pyjamas so you put on a tracksuit before walking downstairs. “i don’t know baby”
you turned on the tv and heard the broadcast ‘stay home, do not let anyone into your house. we will post more instructions soon’ you frowned, what the fuck was happening? you checked your phone again, this time trying to phone anyone, your mum, your dad, your brother, Joel and nothing. no calls were going through.
the two of you jumped at the sound of Mercy, the Adlers dog barking at your front door. Sarah quickly put on her shoes and went outside to retrieve the dog and you quickly followed, slipping on your trainers. “Sarah i don’t think we should go outside yet. we should wait for your dad” but she ignored you. she walked outside, bringing Mercy with her to take him back home making you follow after her as quick as you could.
“Sarah please come back inside” you said but the curious girl went inside the Adlers house after she heard a glass breaking. “no Sarah don’t go in there” you sighed, you loved that girl but she did not listen. Sarah was quiet walking into that house, making sure to not make any sudden movements as she did. the noise was coming from the kitchen and she quickly made her way there and almost screamed at the sight infront of her.
you were right behind her, you felt sick to your stomach as you saw Mrs Adlers mum chewing on her daughter’s neck with some sort of fungus growing out of her mouth. your eyes widened and your heart dropped, what the fuck was going on? the once disabled old woman looked up at the two of you and quickly stood up screeching and running after you when you told Sarah to run.
you weren’t as quick as you used to be but you were luckily quick enough the run away from this infected woman, she had fallen over the crinkled carpet giving you enough time to escape. “Sarah we need to get back in the house right now” you shouted as you grabbed her hand and tried to pull her into the house but as you did Joel’s truck pulled up.
“get in the truck right now” Joel shouted at you both, he sounded scared and he was never ever scared. this made you feel even more sick than before. he had a wrench in his hand and he quickly pulled the two of you behind him when the screeching sound approached you again. you all looked at the front door to see the elderly woman fall over the steps of her front porch.
Tommy got out of the car with a huge rifle in his hand making your eyes fill with tears, you were absolutely terrified but you didn’t want to show Sarah that you were scared, if she saw that she would feel even more frightened then she already was. you grabbed ahold of her hand and tried to pull her into the truck but she wouldn’t budge. it was like she was frozen in fear.
the old woman’s head shot up, her eyes were black and she started crawling towards you then she stood up and ran towards Joel and Tommy. “what are we doing Joel” without a second thought Joel cracked the wrench on her head making her fall to the floor. you and Sarah both gasped at what he had just done. Joel was never a violent person and this had shocked you.
he dropped the wrench and they both turned to look at you and Sarah. both of your faces were filled with fear and Joel quickly pulled Sarah into him “you killed her” she said, voice filled with fear “i know baby i’m sorry” he kissed her forehead and looked at you. you couldn’t believe what you just saw. you were confused and scared. “we gotta go” Tommy said making you all quickly get in the car.
you were sat in the back with Sarah who hugged you closely “it’s alright honey, it’ll all be over soon i promise” you whispered and you rubbed your hand up and down her arm, trying to comfort her but also trying to comfort yourself. you could feel the baby kicking vigorously “are you okay y/n? you aren’t hurt are you?” Joel asked as he looked back at the two of you. you just shook your head.
you didn’t know why but all this fear made you wish you were back to being a little kid, wishing that your mum was there to comfort you when you were scared yet now you were the adult comforting your child and you didn’t know if you would ever even see your mum again.
“dad-” Sarah said but Joel quickly cut her off “i don’t know” he said like he knew what she was going to ask him. “they’re saying it’s a virus, some kind of parasite” Tommy added making Joel look at him. “does it come from terrorists?” she asked making Joel repeat himself “we don’t know”
“are we sick?” she asked and this time you answered “no, none of us are sick” Joel nodded “of course not” he sounded mad but you didn’t know what at. “why were they blowing things up?” her eyes were filled with tears as she asked all these questions.
“no idea, there’s no phone, no radio” her eyes darted between Tommy and Joel “how do you know?” she asked, voice laced with concern “what?” Joel looked back at the two of you, cuddled up together with you trying to act your calmest but he knew you, you were freaking out.
“how do you know we aren’t sick?” she was practically crying now. “they’re saying it’s mostly people in the city, that’s why they have the highway blocked off” Tommy said but he was quickly silenced when he drove past a burning house of one of his friends.
“the Adlers would take nana to the city, so that’s why they were sick?” Joel nodded “your right, that’s probably why” his thick texan accent was filled with concern but he tried his best to stay calm. “we are going to be fine, trust me” Tommy said but he sounded unsure of what he had just said.
he drive around the corner and quickly slowed down when he saw a small family. “what are you doing?” Joel asked and Tommy just shook his head “they have a kid Joel” Joel quickly cut him off. “so do we, are you forgetting that my wife is pregnant?”
“Joel Tommy is right, they have a kid we should help them” he turned back to you “no, we don’t know them. keep driving Tommy” he’d never spoken this was before and this was definitely not the Joel you knew. you just prayed that whatever this is would go away and you could go back to your normal lives.
-♡-
you were driving through the town, planes flying low, catastrophe everywhere and you were just scared. “right keep going down this way” Joel said as Tommy drove down a side road leading to a whole group of people who were fighting and running away from the danger. “keep driving Tommy” Joel said even though there were people everywhere.
“are you kidding? Joel i can’t just drive through a whole group of people” Joel cut him off shouting “just keep going damn it” cars were crashing into each other, the sounds of people screaming made your eyes fill with tears. the next thing you knew the cinema doors cracked open with a lot more people coming out of it, all of them crying.
“shit” Tommy said as he quickly stoped the car “go go, fuck Tommy go get out of here” Joel said as he looked behind him out of the truck and slammed his hand on the dashboard “i’m going, i’m going” Tommy started reversing back, careful to not hit anyone in the process.
Sarah looked out the back window and so did you, seeing the huge airplane falling rapidly toward the floor. “Tommy, you need get out of here” you shouted as the plane darted toward you. “fuck Tommy go now” Joel shouted but it was too late, the huge plane crashed on the ground exploding into a million pieces.
the huge flame almost blinded you, you felt sickened at the thought of all those people on the plane that didn’t even stand a chance. “oh shit” you heard Sarah say as a huge chunk of the plane crashed into you car and then your whole world went black.
-♡-
“y/n” you felt someone’s hand on your shoulder as you awoke from the darkness “y/n honey we need to get you out, can you get out slowly for me angel?” Joel’s soft voice filled your mind as you sat up, a sharp shooting pain went right through your stomach making you groan. “my stomach is killing me” you said as you put a hand on your belly. you looked out the window and saw Sarah sitting on the floor and Joel crouching next to where you were sitting.
“don’t panic, it’s probably nothing okay?” Joel’s heart dropped when he heard you say that, a pain in your stomach was never a good sign especially when you are pregnant. “can you get out sweetheart? or do you need help?” you just nodded and started making your way out of the car.
once you had gotten out of the car you stood next to Sarah and saw Tommy was on the opposite side “we gotta get off of the street” he said as you stood up right, you right hand still back on your stomach hoping to feel any sign of movement. “Sarah can’t walk, i’ll have to carry her. do you think you can walk?” you nodded again. “shit” you heard Tommy shout as a police car crashed into Tommys now ruined truck.
the car set alight and you were lucky you even made it out of the car that quick before it crashed otherwise you would have been dead and you wouldn’t have wanted your family to see that. “Tommy” Joel shouted as he tried to see Tommys face through the flames. “i’m okay, head to the river and i’ll meet you there” with a simple nod Joel picked up Sarah and pushed you behind him.
“stay close okay?” he gave you a quick kiss before you both started making your way through the side roads trying to find a way to the river. the two of you stopped once you saw a group of bodies with people eating them. “what the fuck” you whispered as you saw this horrific sight in front of you. one of the people shot up, looking at you twitching weirdly.
“go” Joel pushed you in front of him and you both started running through a random cafe. the man chased you, snarling and screeching as he followed. you could hear the man tripping over different things but you didn’t dare look behind you. you could hear Joel comforting Sarah who was now crying as you finally made it outside but you didn’t stop running until a gunshot filled the silent field.
you and Joel both stopped, turning to look back and the now dead body in front of you. “don’t move” you heard someone say next to you as a bright light shone on the three of you. “my daughters hurt her ankle and my wife is pregnant” the man lowered his gun and started talking to his radio “i’ve got three civilians by the river, one of them injured, one pregnant”
you couldn’t make out what the other person was saying but your thoughts were cut short when Sarah spoke up “what about uncle Tommy?” she questioned Joel just shook his head “i’m gonna get you both safe first then i’ll go back for him okay?” she just nodded and you all looked back at the masked man. “yes sir….. yes sir”
he raised his gun “we are not sick” Joel said as the man approached the three of you. “sir, i said we are not sick” with that the masked man shot a round of bullets and Joel heard you and Sarah scream. you all rolled down a small ditch and Joel quickly turned to look at the man who was now approaching him with his gun raised. “i’m sorry” he said but before he could shoot Joel another shot was fired, killing him instantly.
he looked up to see Tommy with his gun raised, he had never been so happy to see his brother in his whole life. “are you okay?” Tommy asked Joel who was just grazed by a bullet and Joel just nodded but Tommys eyes shifted to you who was covered in blood and gasping for air. “oh god” he said making Joel turn around to look at you.
all you could do was feel a throbbing pain in you stomach. Joel quickly got up and ran to you and Tommy made sure Sarah was okay and turned her away from you. he knew Joel wouldn’t want her seeing you like this and it was bad enough he had to see you like this. “no no it’s okay” he could see the blood soaking through your jumper, the once grey colour was now a soaked dark red and it was growing by the second.
“you’re okay, move your hand honey” Joel said once you’d moved your hand, putting pressure on the wound. you cried in pain as you still gasped for air. “i know i know im so sorry sweetheart i am” he said and he pressed harder on the wound to stop it from bleeding out more. you managed to speak through your pain as you grabbed onto Joel’s arm “go” he shook his head.
“go Joel, take” you took a few more deep breaths as you tried to calm yourself down “take Sarah and go” he just shook his head again. “no, i’m not leaving you like this. i can get help and you’re gonna survive this” he said, his eyes filling with tears as he saw your tired but pained expression.
“you know how much i love you, i don’t” you closed your eyes as you breathed deeply again “i don’t want you seeing me like this” you stuttered out. you felt a tear roll down your cheek as you realised what was about to happen to you. “meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me” you could hear Sarah sobbing next to Tommy and you hated that she was even watching you, laying there covered in blood.
“i’m sorry” he said as he sat down next to you, he took the pressure off of your wound and you were grateful he had given up, there was no way you were going to be able to survive this and you didn’t want to prolong it. you just shook your head at his comment. “don’t-”
you felt pain all over your body but you felt tired, so tired that you wanted to sleep desperately. “i love you, i love Sarah. just take her and run okay?” he had tears now rolling down his cheeks, his bloody hand now stroking your cheek softly. “im not leaving you here on your own” you just smiled at him. you knew he wouldn’t leave but you wanted to save him from the trauma of seeing you go.
“i know” you looked at him and he kissed you, one last for however long he has left on this earth. “i love you so much” you heard him say and with that your eyes closed. he sobbed quietly, you were gone and nothing was ever going to bring you back.
you were carrying his unborn child and he wished he could go back in time and taken the bullet instead of you. you were this ethereal soul who didn’t deserve to die this way and he hated it. he hated it so much. he tried his best to calm himself down as he took your wedding ring off of your finger and put it in his pocket hoping to keep it safe. it wasn’t like someone was going to steal it but he took it off so he could have something with him that was yours.
he kissed your forehead and carefully placed your body back on the floor and turned toward Sarah and Tommy, he had tear stains on his cheeks but his expression was neutral. “let’s go” he said, he was emotionless “dad, we can’t just leave her-” he cut Sarah off “i said let’s go” with that the three of them left and never looked back.
119 notes · View notes
pandorasfavorite · 1 year
Text
Just a girl
Tumblr media
Summary: the sully boys protect you because you are the eldest daughter and the most sought out.
Notes: it's a fem reader because I based this on the song Just a Girl by Gwen Stefani.
youtube
They would do anything to keep their family's women safe and comfortable. Jake raised the boys to protect their family, specifically their eldest sister. Jake by himself was enough protection for a while but eventually, the boys grew into wanting to protect their family too. When you turned 17 the overprotectiveness was suffocating in a way, not a single Metikyan man approached you. Not because they didn't find you beautiful or capable of being a mate, it was just your family, and no 'girl' was worth a broken nose. When they did approach you Neteyam, Lo'ak, or Jake was looming over you intimidating the boys.
Your Pov:
I'm so tired. So tired of Neteyam. I'm tired of Lo'ak. I'm sick and tired of Dad encouraging them. I have completed my rite of passage here with the people of the reef. I am deemed an adult, and my brothers need to move on and stop worrying. Several men in my life have sought me out, yet they are always scared away. Im just a girl. I'm just a little girl to my father and YOUNGER BROTHERS. It's going to stop eventually I will make it stop. They will stop treating me like a little clueless girl. I won't be dragged away from a potential mate any longer so when he meets me I will fix this. I asked Aonung to help me out, yet he only agreed to anger Lo'ak which will happen. I see him walk across the sand straight toward me with his cheeky grin. Lo'ak and Neteyam are following behind him confused as to why Aonung insisted they walked with him.
I break out into a run grinning about to start the plan, I crash straight into Aonungs chest wrapping my arms around his torso. He picks me up and spins me around laughing a little before kissing the top of my head. Aonung puts me back down in front of him while asking the biggest question: "Are they mad?". I put each hand on one side of his face and lean in closer than friendly and reply: "They're pissed". He smiles brighter than I've ever seen but gets pulled back by the shoulder by one of the boys. Neteyam was absolutely baffled he knew people found interest in his sister but to touch her was something he wasn't prepared for. So I'm guessing he called Dad. Aonung shrugs off what seems to be Lo'ak not shifting away from my gaze until I ask him to. I lean up towards Aonung and whisper for him to leave so he doesn't have to see the situation. He looks at me worriedly wanting more affirmation but I just nod. He walks away ignoring Lo'aks pestering for the first time ever.
Dad strides up to me with Neteyam and Lo'ak standing by his side. "What did I tell you, girl? Shit like that is too dangerous", Dad said for the millionth time. I scoff disrespecting my father, "Don't you think I know exactly where I stand?" I say glancing at each of them. Dad scrunched his face a little taken aback, "We don't think you do y/n". Neteyam chimes in always trying to be the peacemaker, "We just want you to be safe". I huff out a quick exhale and my volume builds up with my words, "This world is forcing me to hold your hand". "You aren't holding our hand don't say that", Lo'ak says not wanting to come to his senses just yet. "I'm just a girl right?! Little old me! Well, guys don't let me out of your sight!", I yell at them harsher than I ever have. It feels good to finally be in charge of myself.
The men don't dare to move another inch, I never yell they are most likely in shock. That won't stop me, not today. "Guess I'm some kind of freak. 'Cause they all sit and stare with their eyes. I'm just a girl", they all tense when I call myself a freak. They have always done that hearing me talk bad about myself, and they visibly are uncomfortable with the fact that people stare at me. "You are not just a girl to us. You are family we are meant to protect you from this world", Dad doesn't get it all. "I've had it up to here Dad. There are many reasons for me to run and hide, I know that. I've experienced them but you will not treat me like a little girl any longer", Dad sighs heavily looking at his two sons for help that they cant provide. "Baby girl look--", I cut him off quickly almost talking to myself "I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl in the world". I hear him start talking again and I shake my head No vigorously, "That's all that you'll let me be! ". Dad's ears pin back similar to Neteyam and Lo'aks.
768 notes · View notes
sootzz96 · 10 months
Note
reader being anxious and dissociative a good bit and wilbur just watching them trying to figure out what to do and noticing how they tap their fingers and count or keep the volume of the TV or any electronic at the same level- or noticing how they don't sleep much or well or maybe too much-
and then maybe wil having to go on tour in a week and not wanting to leave them like this but not knowing what to do
(despite what I say, wil isn't perfect-- sadly he cannot read your mind (I want him to))
Tumblr media
"then all of a sudden, you're sick to your stomach."
Hiii! Sorry your ask took a little longer than I wanted it to be. I got busy the past couple of days, but now it's here. I hope you enjoy it.
title from i miss you, im sorry by gracie abrams
warnings: mentions of anxiety, mentions of dissociation, wilbur doesn't know what he doing but he trys to help, mentions of fidgeting, mentions lack of sleep and sleeping too much (me too)
wc: 630
(didn't proofread btw)
Tumblr media
 “Hey love, you alright?” He said, looking at his lover who was methodically fidgeting with the remote. Seeing the person he loved often having these little quirks to calm their nerves wasn't bizarre. You do most things like twiddle your thumbs, turn up the TV to a specific volume, and the way you would count when it is just too much for you to handle. Although he picked up on these things, he never realized how to fix it. 
  You finally perk your head up, getting out of this trance, the word you would use to explain such dissociation. “Yes Wil, I’m alright.” You said to the man looking over at you with such worry. You knew he was worried, and you were sure he knew what was wrong. 
  “Okay, just making sure.” He said before turning to the TV, seeing the volume rise to the number you always chose when you were anxious. It was your favourite number, there wasn’t any way he could’ve missed it. “How about we head to bed, darling? Would that be alright with you?” He asked you so sweetly. He knew that if it was too late you’d start dissociating due to the tiredness slowly taking over your body. 
  “Sure.” Tiredness slightly showed in your voice when you spoke to him. No seconds were wasted before Wilbur wrapped his arms around you, carefully picking you up. Soon he made it to your shared bedroom and laid you down, not long after he joined you in bed. Each of you said your goodnights and I love yous before slowly drifting off to sleep. 
   Wilbur got up fairly early, he knew he needed to be at the studio. He kissed you on your forehead before leaving. He hoped you would text him when you woke up. He spent almost all day at the studio, not once receiving a text from you. This worried him a bit, so he decided to go home as soon as he finished. He walked into your shared flat and made his way to your bedroom. He saw you there on the bed, still sleeping so peacefully. He didn’t want to disrupt, but he knew he had to.
   “Hey honey, you need to get up. It’s almost 2 pm.” He said, lightly shaking your sleeping figure. You hummed slightly, still quite tired. He never realized why you slept so late until he realized why you didn’t sleep at all.
  It was a week before he had to go on tour. You dreaded this time because you knew he would be gone for at least a month, sometimes even more. This time made your anxiety worse, you would dissociate even more than before. This meant sleeping less than usual. Wilbur soon noticed how little you were sleeping and how all the fidgeting got a bit worse. He didn’t wanna leave anymore. He knew if he told you, you would think it was about you and it was your fault. 
  Even though he wanted to cancel the tour, he knew he couldn’t. His fans would be upset, and you would’ve been upset. He knew you saw how excited he was for this tour. He tried the whole week to try and break you of these “habits.” He failed to realize it would take more than just a few days. 
  He insisted you went with him to the airport to see him before he left. He would hope that it would just calm your nerves for a bit. After lots of goodbyes and I love yous, he boarded his plane. He was terrified for how you would be. He made sure to check on you every chance he got, even if that meant staying up at ungodly times of the night to talk to you.
Tumblr media
taglist: @luvlyella @biggestevermorestan
242 notes · View notes
svetavatigris · 4 months
Text
This blog is not a discourse blog whatsoever but fuck it, i wanna say something
Im just so tired of some people assuming there's no fucking wonder in life.
Like i get it bro, you think no aliens exist, there are no multiverses, the universe dies once, all that jazz and i get why.
But I get sick and tired of people assuming that there's nothing left for humankind to explore or to mend, we all die and rot and yadda yadda. Where's the innate joy of life then?
As a biologist everything for me is wonderful even if I don't understand it, the latter case might be better because experiencing childlike wonder at a phenomenon you can't explain feels wonderful, it's better than sex in some cases.
Assuming we are all alone here is just anthropocentric and egoistic. Even whales and dolphins, elephants, primates, hell even canines have a culture we will never understand and it's what makes life fun. Like catching numbers station signals for the thrill, it's all encoded but you feel something in your heart, that a spy is not the only one hearing this.
And assuming humans are alone because of how rare it is it's also anthropocentric as hell. There are multiple planets in the habitable zones of their own stars that, if not tidally locked, probably have lifeforms on it. We're also NOT THE ONLY galaxy in the universe, there's an infinity of them, and lifeforms that might be itching to see someone as intelligent as them.
Speaking about the universe being infinite, there's a whole debate on that one. There might be an infinity of multiverses, or the cycle of the universe exists, but rest assured it is an infinity.
We humans, as a species, we help each other. Because of the internet we can finally share our cultures and speak up about important values in the world. It's also worth reminding you we evolved because of helping each other. We help, we laugh, we live every day, we fight back against to see the sun rise again, and we explore this vast world and the oceans. We can fix our mistakes, and mend.
Assuming everything i just typed is bogus and the only joy is egoistical consuming and being sad about how we are a horrible species makes you ignorant on a scale you don't realise.
Anyways, all i wanted to say, mic drop.
91 notes · View notes