#just go listen to it I promise you wont be dissapointed

[pacifymebby]

hc for peaky blinders - finding out ur pregnant and how they’d react!! <333

Tommy

🌿You're scared to tell him, not because you think he'll be angry, not because you think he'll want you to get rid of it, but because its a big change and Tommys an unpredictable man

🌿Actually Tommy knows you're pregnant before you tell him. He's been having dreams see, and Pol has dreamt of it too. So he knows and frankly hes getting tired of seeing you worried and nervous around him

🌿 So one night he comes home, he sits down at a chair by the kitchen table and he calls through the house for you to come to him.

🌿 Youre hesitant, at first you think something terrible has happened or that you're in trouble. You hover in the doorway biting your cheek nervously.

🌿 He beckons for you to come to him. "Come here angel, sit yourself down with me... We have something to talk about..."

🌿 You do as youre told, sitting in his lap, letting him put an arm around your waist.

🌿 "Look at me angel, we're going to have a conversation now alright," he's so calm, but his voice is serious and you're still nervous, you're sure you're in trouble and then it dawns on you... What if he knows?

🌿 "What are..." you start but he cuts you off, he can hear your voice shaking and he doesn't like listening to you upset like that so he puts hid finger to your lips to hush you and then he rests his palm over your womb.

🌿 "Now it seems to me that you are going to have a baby and that that baby will be my child..." your breath catches in your throat and you feel tears in your eyes. You aren't sure why you're so upset but suddenly you're sobbing and apologising and for a moment Tommy just lets you.

🌿 But then he shushes you, strokes his hand over your hair. "Alright angel, thats enough now... Why are you upset?"

🌿 "You don't want it! Im sorry Tommy I'm so sorry i... Youre angry at me i know, i should have told you but..."

🌿 You think he's going to snap at you, you expect him to lose his temper. He's been angry with you before and this is certainly something you think would piss him off.

🌿 But Tommy just smirks a little, shakes his head and shushes you again.

🌿 "Y/n, where did you get an idea like that?"

🌿 You're stunned, a little bewildered, it's almost offensive but Tommy understands. He's already had children... He's never been a particularly natural father to them... He can see why you'd expect him to be so dissapointed in you...

🌿But things are different now.

🌿 "Said you'd been sent down from heaven to save me," he tells you, "now i know you were"

🌿This time he makes a promise to himself that he'll change, that he'll be worthy of you and your child. That he'll protect you from everything.

Alfie

🐻 Honestly? He's surprised... Thought he was getting a bit old for babies and all that sort of thing

🐻 "Are you sure treacle?" he has his hand to your tummy and he's looking at you with a little frown on his brow, he's trying to hide his happiness in case this isn't real.

🐻 "Alfie I'm weeks late I'm sure i am..." you frown, "and its definitely yours don't you dare ask me that!" you say quickly getting defensive. He finds that funny and laughs at you, pinches your cute little cheek.

🐻 "Well of course its mine ziskeit, naturally its mine..." he smiles then, pulling you into his arms and planting you down in his lap where he can hold you close to him.

🐻 Takes your chin between his thumb and finger and looks down into your eyes. Youre blinking back at him with your doe eyes, waiting on his next move. You still aren't sure how he feels.

🐻 "You know what this means don't you..." he tells you in a low, sweet voice. For a moment youre squirming and nervous. You shake your head and wait for an answer. "Means I'm going to have to take extra special care of my little girl..."

🐻 "What did you have to go and get yourself knocked up by an ugly old brute like me for ey ziskeit?" sometimes he worries he wont be a good father to your child, that hes going to let you down.

🐻 But he could never and you tell him that a thousand times. He's the only man youd ever want to father your children.

🐻 "Hope its a girl... She'll be as pretty and precious as you and I'll spoil her rotten..."

Arthur

🍂 Cries. Can't believe its true because he doesnt believe he deserves that kind of happiness.

🍂 Is convinced hes already a terrible father, worries he wont be able to look after you and the baby

🍂 You end up laughing a little, holding him and calming him down, giggling at how dramatic hes being.

🍂 You put your hands on his cheek, forehead to forehead, your nose brushing his, he puts his hands over yours

🍂 "Arthur Shelby you're going to be a father, you're going to be the best fucking father there ever was..."

🍂 He grins, calms down and sniffles through his tears, makes you a thousand promises to look after you both, to treasure you.

🍂 Kisses your belly every day, is so excited and proud, when the baby starts kicking hes genuinely amazed.

🍂 You give him a whole new hope and purpose, hes completely dedicated to u both.

John

🌼 You're both quite young and he feels a little unprepared, he's especially worried about you because he's heard being pregnants actually not that nice for a woman. Hes heard its painful and it makes you fumny in the head.

🌼 And yeah, hes scared youre going to hate hjm for making you pregnant. He thinks youre going to hate him because giving birth will be painful.

🌼 He goes to polly so many times asking her to tell him exactly whats going to happen but Pol is loyal to you and she isnt about to tell John a womans business.

🌼He dotes on you throughout the pregnancy though and as you get bigger he takes pride in helping you put your socks on in the morning and stuff.

🌼 When the baby is born he wants to be in the room with you, hes so panicked and worried about you he actually threatens Polly says if she doesn't let him in that room he'll...

🌼 Gets himself smacked for that.

🌼 Cries holding the baby for the first time. Polly looks at him with a smug smile "see now that wasnt so bad was it... No need for all that fuss"

🌼 Natural father, playful and a little too boisterous the with weans. Has your heart in your mouth every time hes playing rough with them, throwing them up in the air and catching them.

Bonnie

🍀 Is delighted. Hes been telling you hes going to put a baby in you one day for so long and now he has, he cant stop smiling.

🍀You werent scared to tell him because you knew hed be thrilled. He also kind of instinctively knew. He'd sensed a change in you.

🍀 Actually already has names thought up, you've been talking about having wee babies for so long you've already decided names for boys and girls.

🍀 Always telling you what a wonderful mammy youre going to be. How sweet and precious the baby is going to be.

🍀Hes so happy that actually the thing which worries you the most is that you might lose the baby. Youre terrified to let him down and so the more he talks about what a wonderful mammy youll be the more scared you become that youre going to fail.

🍀 One day you start crying when he says it. You tell him to stop and you get so upset you scare him. He doesn't know what to do or whats wrong, he thought you were happy, he thought you wanted a baby...

🍀When you tell him whats really going on he sighs and pulls you into a hug. "Oh my little dove, you poor thing, you should have told me sooner..."

🍀 Now that he knows how scared you are he's extra gentle with you and really lays on the reassurance. He tells you he's always going to love you no matter what and that he has faith. He also knows you need to be calmer for the babies sake and so he does everything in his power to ease your fears.

🍀Brings you flowers, cooks for you, takes you to see Polly because he knows she'll reassure you.

🍀 Takes extra time hunting trying to find you the right kind of food to keep you strong and healthy.

🍀 Touches your tummy all the time, when you sleep he has his hand resting over yours on the baby bump.

🍀 Sings to your tummy when the baby starts kicking. Sings you and baby little lullabys to send you both off to sleep.

🍀 When you go into labour he's nervous, of course hes nervous, but he has so much faith in you and the baby that hes also just incredibly excited. He can't be present at the birth but he stays close by enough that he can hear you and the women caring for you. He says little prayers for you.

🍀Youre exhausted after the birth and when he takes the baby from you to hold it he tells you to rest on him too. He feels so complete with you both near him. After hearing how you suffered during the birth he continues to dote on his little dove and is extra careful with you.

🍀 Sings you and baby to sleep, is so proud of you both hes glowing with it. Is really touched by the miracle of birth.

Isaiah

🐀Okay you're scared to tell Isaiah. Having a baby will completely ruin his life youre certain of that...

🐀You hide it for as long as possible but theres only so many nights at the Garrison you can sip water and pretend its gin without him realising he can't smell it on your breath.

🐀One day youre sitting at his lap in the Garrisson and he surprises you, takes your drink right from your hand and knocks it back himself. As he suspected, its water. He doesnt say anything in front of your friends he just plays it off as if he were teasing you, he kisses your cheek and says he'll buy you another.

🐀You half expect him to buy you real gin but instead he comes back with water, measured out in a gin glass just the same as youd been drinking before.

🐀You spend all night nervously anticipating what he'll do when you leave.

🐀He walks you to your front door as usual, everything seems fine... Hes as happy as normal, holds your hand, lets you wear his peaky cap as always, wraps you up in his jacket to keep you warm and, to show everyone you belong to him...

🐀Then you get to your front door and youre hesitant to kiss him goodnight, youre waiting for him to confront you about your drink and the longer he leaves it the more nervous you get

🐀"Well don't i get my kiss goodnight?" he asks you with a smirk. You realise you cant speak and you stutter a little bit but go to kiss him anyway.

🐀The moment your lips meet you realise it was a trap... He pushes you through your front door and closes it behind the two of you,still with his lips on you... You panic, scared that your father will be up and will hear you but the lights are off in the kitchen and the house is quiet...

🐀"What are you doing?" you hiss at Isaiah as he kisses your lips again, his hands trailing down your body to rest on your hips, "You're going to wake my father!"

🐀"Well actually mouse my darlin girl i was hoping to catch him... Think ive got somet to ask him see..."

🐀"What are you talking about?" youre confused, nervous giggle at your man and his stupid antics.

🐀"well..." he slips his hand over your tummy and rests it atop your womb, looks deeply into your eyes, his forehead rests against yours and the look he shares with you is so intense you feel yourself shiver. When he speaks hes so soft and serious it surprises you, its the most honest and devoted youve ever seen him look... "Guess I'm going to have to marry you now..."

🐀In short hes actually pleased as punch to be having your baby, he was looking for an excuse to marry you anyway and although hes not sure how to be a father, hes the kind of confident where he kind of just knows he'll be good at it.

Michael

☘️ You're not sure whether to be scared of telling Michael or not. You think he'll do the decent thing and be a man about it but you're really not sure...

☘️ You try to hide it from him but you struggle, youre a nervous mother and your hand instinctively rests over your womb at all times. Youre practically begging him to notice and take matters into his own hands...

☘️ But Michael is oblivious to that kind of thing, Polly tells you as much when she finally snatches you by the wrist and takes you somewhere private to interrogate you.

☘️ "My stupid son will never notice this by himself... If its his you have to tell him and by god if it isn't..." youre shocked she'd ever think such a thing but really shes only trying to test you. Trying to see if you really are the girl for her son... When she sees the hprrified look in your eyes, when she sees the frown which knits your brow and notices your hand raise slightly from your side... As if you were about to slap her... Polly Gray...

☘️ Her mouth breaks into a smile, a beaming one. "By god child this is going to change that boy, this is going to see him right... Tell him now and tell him quick..."

☘️ You hesitate, you still arent convinced but Pol says if you dont tell him she will. She tells you not to worry, tells you her sons going to marry you, make an honest woman of you... That he'll look after you... And then you almost cry...

☘️ You've never cried in front of polly before and you dont want to now but a tear falls and when she asks whats wrong you cant lie to her.

☘️ "i just... I dont want him to do all that just because he thinks he has to, i dont want him to marry me out of a sense of fucking duty..."

☘️ "Whats this about marriage?"

☘️ Neither of you had seen Michael come in, he'd trodden quietly, eaves dropping on your conversation. Now hes looking at you both with a frown on his face, hes confused, still hasnt caught on even though youre stood with his mother, in tears, one hand resting on your stomach, talking about marriage...

☘️Theres a moment of silence, Polly is waiting for him to work it out but he doesnt... "Well isnt anyone going to fucking answer me or what?"

☘️ Polly wsshhts him and storms past him, pushing him into the room as she leaves and slams the door muttering something about him being fucking stupid.

☘️ "Y/N love..." he seems concerned, almost tentative to approach, but also a little irrate too, he doesnt like not knowing whats going on and hes worried about you, "whats going on love whats happen?"

☘️ You burst into tears practically falling into the chair beside you. Youre so upset now you cant speak and Michael rushes to your side in a flash. Hes down on his knees looking up at you, clutching your hands in his trying to work out whats wrong.

☘️ You manage to sniffle out the word "pregnant" and even then its not enough.

☘️ "What? Who is?" he asked and only then does it dawn on him... Its you, youre pregnant. "Is it... Is it mine?" he asks you making you cry even harder so that you gasp for breath between the words "of course its fucking yours michael!"

☘️ "Well then whatre you fucking crying for y/n? I thought somet fucking terrible had happened!"

☘️ He's on one knee there and then wanting to marry you, making all kinds of promises. He wants to be there for you, wants to be a good man.

☘️ He tries harder to make less stupid decisions, tries to put you and the baby first. Wants to have a family, wants to get you out of the city, wants the child to grow up somewhere like the house he did, somewhere safe, out in the country, but bigger and prettier. Promises you the whole world.

☘️ Always putting his foot in it whilst youre pregnant, cant get his head around these fucking hormones. You get angry at him for nothing, you cry so much. Sometimes you tell him to fuck off and then when he does you burst into tears asking why hes leaving you? You question whether he loves you, whether hes only married you out of a sense of duty. He finds it exhausting trying to reassure you all the bloody time. Hes so relieved when you go into labour... Naively he thinks that'll be the end of his worries...

#peaky blinders headcanon #tommy shelby x reader #arthur shelby x reader #john shelby x reader #bonnie gold x reader #Isaiah jesus x reader

[draculagerard]

Oh my god Neptune is such a tbah Dean song

#moose blabber #sleepingatlastnatural #tbah #'if I time it right the thunder breaks when I open my mouth' #THEY LITERALLY CONFESSED IN THE RAIN #just go listen to it I promise you wont be dissapointed

[zuffer-weird-girl]

*me remembering that I promised a scenario of a drunk Chisaki* oH FUC-!

One or three bottles of sake

You were simply messing around in your phone, snickering at seing other people do shit on the internet before you heard a knock... which is weird since you were in the living room... not the bedroom.

"Excuse me? (Y/n)-sama?" The man asked hushed while you giggled at his exaggerate manners.

"Tengai I told you already about the formalities!" You smiled and put your phone down to look at the man "Just call me by my name, really is okay!"

"I apologize for this." The huffed a smile while scratching the back of his neck before returning to a serious expression "Pardon about bothering you in such a hour at the night... but could you accompany me please?"

You nodded and followed the calm man through the halls.

"Something wrong?" Tengai sigjed loudly before scracthing the back of his head again.

"Sadly. You see, the eight precepts, Chrono and Mimic were reunited on a room and that thug Rappa just brought along with Deidoro some alcohol drinks... To celebrate or just drink the night off or something similiar."

You snickered a bit, gulping down immediately after Tengai arched his eyebrow at you before returning to his explanation.

"Anyway. I refused since I'm not much a fan of alcohol in general. But the rest was the opposite... Master Overhaul got them on the act and went to stop that nonsense before Rappa just made one mistake..."

You started to grow worried before Tengai opened one door to reveal a bunch of drunk mens while you saw your boyfriend.... chugging and hitting the cup on teh cofee table as Chrono and Mimic shouted 'TAKE THAT' at a screaming Rappa.

You blinked once before looking at Tengai with wide eyes while pointing in disbelief at the scene in front of you.

"Yes... Rappa spoke something about master 'being a wimp on drinks or something, how would you be dissapointed at seing that your man didn't take one drink and that what type of yakusa boss he was if he didn't even could drink a cup of saque."

You returned your look at Chisaki who had the same stoic face as usual but the difference it was that his golden eyes were puffy and his uncovered cheeks were slightly pink.

"H-How much..?" You asked, giggling about at the way Chisaki miserably tried to slap Chrono's hand away form his back.

"When I left it was already gone one bottle... now?" He looked at the pile of empty bottles "I am afraid to know."

Suddenly Mimic snickered and while looking at you both extending his arms.

"Look at who decided to fucking join us! tEnGAI BiTcH GEt YoUR AsS DoWN AnD GeT DrUnK As WeLL!"

"I'll pass..." Tengai growled before glaring at Rappa for shouting that he was being a wimp.

"FinE ParTy BooMEr! (Y/N)! Go SiT YoUR AsS doWn thEn By OvErHaUL's SiDE anD FuCkInG DrInk!"

At the mention of your name the eyes of your lover widen just a bit before he drubkly looked up at his front... you were at his side...

"(Y/n)..? Wh..where the fuck is her?" He muttered while Deidoro left out a drunk laugh as he falled into his back at the ground.

"THE BOSS IS REALLY FUCKING DRUNK!"

"Tell the time then fucker." Setsuno snickered before juggling his cup.

"SHUt up midget!" Deidoro lifted up and pointed at a clock in the wall and screamed at it "THE BOSS IS REALLY FUCKING DRUNK!"

Hoyo spitted om his drink by his laughter while Chrono stood, a bit trembling, on his feet and cane to you.

"We fucked up.. sorry." He half smirked before almost dropping before you helped him out.

"For crying out loud how many drinks did you all had?!" You whispered shouted while Chrono showed one finger while muttering a 'bottle'.

And... everyone wasn't much different... excluding Chisaki who somehow was still searching for you and surprisingly didn't found it.

"Mimic you fucking liar, my angel isn't here." He growled before grunting when he just bumped his forehead on the table.

"Am FuCKInG NoT! THe ChiCk Is RighT TheRe!" Mimic pointed angrily at you while you could only deadpan.

"Alright." You started, accidentaly letting Kurono fall.. he at least made a thumbs up to tell you he was alright when you yelped "Everyone. Out. Night time for all of you."

You were so grateful that you had the respect of those man, or else it would probably take AGES for them to listened to you...

You stopped Nemoto though, being one of the last to leave, and pointed at Chisaki... lost look as he stared at his front.

"How many did he had Nemoto?"

"About (hic) three bottles. Rappa challenged him so..(hic) you knwo how master is."

You sigjjed and thanked the man, slowly going into his side to bring a hand to touch his shoulder before he slapped it away.

"Don't touch me filth... only one person can do that and is not fucking you so out." He mumbled, still not looking at you as he tried to get up... tried.

"Uh? Who?"

"Not your fucking business but is my (Y/n)." He growled before hiccupping "The sweetest and the most beautiful thing on this sick world and my angel is the fucking bes-" he tripped on his own foot and dropped to his knees with a hiss.

You blushed at his words... normally drunk people werent on their right mind but they never spoke lies... especially your Chisaki. You knew how he was reserved but those sweet words he almost never let out.

"I am all that?" He looked up to send you a glare before widening his eyes at sieng your blushing and smiling figurine.

"Angel..." he smiled a bit, surprisingly standing up and accepting your help "Since when you're here?"

"Not too long. Why?"

"I was going to kill some filth shit in this room.. but is all gone because you're here.." he sluttered before dropping his head on teh crook of your neck "My angel is the best..." he cooed before nuzzling his face into your neck.

Oh god what was happening?! Was this what too much of alcohol did to your boyfriend?!

He grunted a bit before mumbling in your skin.

"You're not hugging me back (Y/n).. did I do something?" You went to look at him befor eyou noice he was POUTING.

CHISAKI KAI. OVERHAUL. LEADER OF THE YAKUSA. IS POUTING. AND IT WAS ADORABLE.

"No no!" You immediate answered, waving your hands a bit "I-Is just tha-"

He grabbed your hand weekly and kissed your palm before nuzzling his face on it.

Dear lord what was happening with him?!

"My angel..." he cooed in your hand before hugging you again "I missed you..." he said a bit more sleepy while your heart was almost combusting at this overwhelming event.

"U-uh.. K-Kai how about some water then we can go to bed?"

He nodded in your neck, grunting in disaproval at losing his warmth and just blindly following you through the house... at least he had his hand on yours.

Pops was just getting to his room before he spotted you two.

"Good night you two." He smiled at your gretting but frowned at sieng his successor "Chisaki my boy, are you alright? You look a bit.. flustered?"

Chisaaki let out a chuckle before wrapping his arms around your waist and rubbing his cheek on yours, you with wide eyes and face burning form embarrassment.

"Nothing. Just my (Y/n) giving me her warmth... my angel is so warm..." he buries his nose, missing the wide eyes of his father figurine and his lover looking at him in shock "I just love it since I'm always so cold and is also soft..." he sighed in bliss at finding some comfortable position and just remained like that.

You gagged before looking at Pops, same wide eyes as you had on that moment while looking back at you.

He pointed a finger to your boyfriend and you sighed in defeat.

"Saque. 3 bottles." The elder arched a eyebrow before returning to see Chisaki nuzzling even more his nose on your neck and burring right in your ear.

"Well. What alcohol does with a man.." he smirked a bit at seing his adopted son attempting to growl at seing that your attention wasn't on him "Think you can take care of my boy for the night (Y/n)?"

"I'll try my best." You giggled, replying the good night Pops gave to you and smilling like a dork when Chisaki said something with the word 'father' on it.

"Alright my devil. Let's get you to bed." He grunted before tightening his hold on you.

"I'm not a infant (Y/n)..." he muttered but complied anyway while following you to his room.

He took the seat down with a yawn and hic up before he smirked dreamily when you helped him on taking off his shirt.

"Naughty little angel we have..."

"Ahaha.. no mister. You're way too drunk." You laughes and mockingly pointed at finger at his nose.

Although you yelped a bit at the nibble he manage to do in your finger.

"Kai!" He smirked devilish back at the call of his name before you giggled and rolled your eyes, going to the bathroom for wash your face before you felt a tug in you clothing.

"Wh.. where are you going?" You went to answer but the way his voice sounded so.. broken and fearful made you worry "Don't.. don't leave me alone angel.. please?"

"I was only going to wash my face to go to bed Kai..." you stopped in your tracks to carress his face with your thumbs "How could I leave you for real anyway?"

"You should." He hiccuped, eyes darkening a bit "Because I'm fucked up."

"No you're not!"

"I am.. like.. you-you're just the pool of sweetest and brightness" he pointed at you with his pam before plopping down "Then we have this demon here, the total opposite of you... but I am selfish.." he muttered the last part before burring in your stomach.

"I want you with me... only with me..." he juzzled in hour tummy before looking up at you. "Promise..."

"Promise what my devil?"

"Promise that you wont leave me in the dirty like some people did already.."

You made a hurt face before carresing his looks, giggling at the vibrations that the pleased sounds he made were making shivers crawl down your spine.

He suddenly groaned, burrowing his face even more on you while you poked him and ask what happened.

"Fuck that piece of shit Rappa now tommorow I'm going to have a headache... fuuuucck i wanna kill him.."

You giggle, hoping that tommorow his hangover wasn't going to be that painful...

#overhaul x reader #overhaul scenario #fanfic overhaul #overhaul #chisaki kai imagine scenario #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki #chisaki kai #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha characters #bnha villains #bnha #my writing #zuffer writings

[rainy-knight]

Now Who's Darkness.

Characters: Ven / Vanitas / Aqua / Terra

Rated: E

Ventus popped one eye open, looking around the room just in case. He listened, quiet consuming the halls of their castle.

Perfect.

Sliding out of bed Ventus easily hit the floor without a sound, his bare feet hiting the cold surface. He quickly slid to the door, creaking it open just in case there was any wanderers. Taking a glance he smiled, coast was clear.

Dodge rolling out the door he scanned his surroundings, then made haste to the stairs. Ventus couldn't risk a squeaky step giving out his location so he sat on the railing, sliding down. The time of being a keyblade weilder had honed him for this, hoping off he flipped in the air landing once more without sound.

Ven gave himself a pat on the back.

The boy had almost made it, victory was in his grasp. Swerving through halls he finally reached his location.

Ventus eyes were hit with the most beautiful sight before him. The giant tree in the middle was littered with colorful lights, a beacon of hope. And with that beacon of hope came salvation in the form of giant wrapped boxes.

It was enough to make him cry.

Tip toeing to the green boxes he was right on the munny. He spotted the tags, all having his name, some from Aqua and Terra. One was even from Santa. He could guess what Aqua and Terra got him but Santa was a wild card.

His hands were inches away from the box, oh so ready to unwrap all of its secrets.

???: "My my. Is little Venty opening his presents before he's suppose to?"

Ventus spun in a flash, eyes going wide from the intruder, out of everyone he could have imagined, Vanitas was last on his list.

He wasnt even ON the list.

Vanitas: "I thought only bad kids did such a thing. The only gift you deserve is coal!"

Ventus immediately summoned his keyblade, crouching into a fighting pose.

Ven: " Vanitas! I thought Sora, Aqua and I defeated you! We watched you fade!"

Vanitas: "Oh I did, I faded. But was freed from the chains of the one who separated us. I wasnt spilling lies Ventus. I AM your shadow! And no matter how much your light shines, you can never extinguish your own darkness!"

Ven: "So what, are we to forever clash!?"

Vanitas: "I yearn to be whole, but in order to do so, I must win." Vanitas summoned his keyblade, pointing it to Ventus. "But I know if we clash blades, I'll lose. I always lose."

Ventus: "What, you giving up already? Cause you know I'll win every battle!"

Much to the confusion of Ventus, Vanitas raised his keyblade to the ceiling.

Vanitas: "Yes, I'll lose every battle we have together. But I have learned another way, I'll expose your darkness and force you to surrender. The best part is I wont even have to fight you!!" Vanitas bashed his blade three times on the ceiling, his laugh sounding like grinding rocks together.

Ventus eyes widened, fear erupting his body when he heard shuffling from above.

Aqua: "Ven!? Is that you down there? Oh you promised you wouldn't peak."

The blood quickly drained from Ventus face as heavier footsteps joined the softer ones, signaling Terra was on the move. In seconds he would be caught with nowhere to run.

mousetrap.

Vanitas: "Happy Holidays brother! Hahaha!!" Before fading back into the portal he chucked a piece of coal at Ven, laughing all the way.

Ven picked up the Coal with dread in his eyes. He feared what this meant for the future. He flinched when he heard someone clear their throat. Glancing over to the exit he saw a dissapointed Aqua and a annoyed Terra.

Ven: "Uh...I can explain?"

* * *

Ventus alarm clock blared waking the boy from his slumber, his dream already half forgotton. The sun was barley over the mountians, the warm light reaching through the window basking the room in a soft glow. It didn't help that the blankets wrapped around him had settle for a cozy warmth, luring him back to dreamland.

His hand slapped the clock. Five more minutes couldn't hurt.

Vanitas: "What's this? My brother actually rebelling, ignoring to do his morning chores? And I'm suppose to be the heartless one."

Ventus flung out of his bed in panick, half from Vanitas suddenly spawning in his room and the other for being called out on ignoring his chores. In a sleepy haze he summoned his keyblade. Unfortunately he summoned it forward instead of backwards, the blade smacking the boy in the face. He tumbled out of bed like a sack of potatoes, tangling himself in the covers.

Vanitas laughter echoed through the room, leaving through the inky portal.

Ventus: "What a jerk."

The alarm went off once more.

* * *

Ventus scrubbed his body while the hot water rained down on him. At least he could find some sense of peace in the shower. Popping the shampoo bottle open he proceeded to ring his fingers through his hair with the scented gel. Not looking, he reached for a toothbrush, splashing some cinnamon flavored toothpaste onto the brush. He began brushing his teeth.

Vanitas head popped above the shower, his facemask had already fogged over

Vanitas: "Using masters toothbrush? Not even I would stoop so low! How pervers"

A high pitched scream tore through the castle.

* * *

Ventus looked both ways, the coast was clear. Quickly opening the fridge his eyes scanned for his target. Chicken? Leftovers? Veggies? Nope, so far no luck. But there it was! In the back!

Reaching for his prey his fingers gripped his target. Pulling it back he quickly popped open the bag.

Shredded cheese.

Not thinking twice and giving into the desire, Ventus grabbed a fistfull of the golden goodness and stuffed his cheeks. His taste buds were on cloud nine. Letting out a delighted moan he dug in for more.

Vanitas: "Say cheese!"

Ventus face whipped to the voice, only to be blinded by light.

Vanitas: "And sent!" He sent the photo to Terra and Aqua and the rest of chat. "At this rate you'll be begging for this to end. You'll surrender soon enough. Have fun brother bahahaha!" Before leaving through his portal Vanitas threw the phone on the counter. The phone already buzzing with incoming texts.

Ventus sat there, mouth full of cheese in the cold dark kitchen. Once more he had been exposed and bested. Once more his flaws were shown to the world. Vanitas once again had won.

But no more!

This was the last straw! This game Vanitas was playing had gone on for too long! It was time to fight fire with fire. Ideas on exposing Vanitas were already flooding in. Oh he was going to get it.

If he was looking for a dirty fight of shaming then gosh darn it he was going to get one!

Right after he finished stuffing his face of course.

#kh3 spoilers #kh3 #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kingdom hearts #ventus #ven #vanitas #Aqua #terra

[femikpop]

BTS RUN | 29 |

Tittle: BTS RUN | 29 | Words: 1.5K Pairing: Sou/Everyone; 8th Member of BTS Summary: BTS RUN ep. 29 with Sou.

‘This is our dorm. I’m wondering why we are here.’, Hoseok said, beginning the new episode of RUN BTS.

‘Again?’, Namjoon asked.

‘Yeah we’ve shot here three times already.’, Taehyung answered and everybody nodded.

‘Today we’re here to keep our promise a Billboard Hot 100 hit.’, director said.

‘Styling each other.’, Jungkook reminded everybody. Man started to explain all the rules and how will today’s episode go. Everyone was listening carefuly, trying not to miss any detail, that may help them with the game.

‘I wanted to do whole pink outfit, but then I remembered, that I threw away my pink pants.’, Jin said dissapointed. ‘And now I can’t do that.’

‘I hope, that I won’t be in pair with Jin.’, Jungkook said immediately afterwards.

‘I will create look with my favurite pajamas.’, Yoongi announced.

‘Pajamas are cool.’, Jin added and Sou nodded.

‘To be honest I would be happy if I will get pajamas set as the outfit.’, Sou said and Jin agreed with her.

‘If I’m honest, I’m scared the most about Sou.’, Jungkook said, pointing at her.

‘Yeah, she’s the only girl in the group.’, Seokjin said. ‘And she’s so tiny.’, he added in high pitched voice and came closer to pinch her cheeks. Sou immediately slapped his hands, which made everybody laugh.

‘I don’t think there are even one piece of clothing in Sou’s closet, that will fit me.’, Namjoon exclaimed.

‘And, like you said she’s a girl, so dresses and heels and normal things for her.’, Jimin said and Hoseok, that was sitting at the very end, started to whine to himself.

‘She doesn’t wear skirts and heels a lot, so we’re fine.’, Jungkook said, waving at her.

‘But it doesn’t mean, that I don’t have them in my closet.’, Sou went right back with raised eyebrow. Everybody reacted at her comment and poor Jungkook hid face in his hands.

‘I think we should agree, that you won’t give us either skirts or heels.’, Namjoon proposed a deal for her.

‘Let’s try something else.’, she said back to Namjoon, who’s eyes went big in surprise. ‘I will exclude either dresses and skirts or heels.’, Sou said her deal and boys started to thinking about it very hard.

‘But does the term ‘heels’ include boots with heels too?’, Taehyung asked.

‘Everything, that has even the smallest heel I will throw out immediately. So it means, that it will leave you with some trainers or flats.’, she explained to the rest. There was silence for a minute and then boys went together to discuss the deal from Sou.

‘It’s a tought decision and we’re a little torn apart.’, Namjoon said and they nodded.

‘But I think we should exclude dresses and skirts, because there’s no way she’ll find heels in her closet, that will be our size.’, Jungkook said and picked Sou’d foot up, putting his foot near. ‘Look, her feet are almost half my size.’

‘Genius.’, Hoseok said and high fived him.

‘Welcome to my little closet.’, Sou said, opening the door of her wardrobes. She had four in total, but this one was specific. ‘I’m actually really excited for this challenge. Boys are thinking, that all my clothes wiil be too small for them. Well they are really wrong.’, she added and took out big box from the back of her closet. ‘Few months ago, before we went to America, I ordered fe packages of new clothing. But we had to fly a little bit earlier, that we supposed to, so I couldn’t even try these. When we came back two months later, I realised, that they’re too big for me and I couldn’t give them back to the shop.’, she explained, picking out piece by piece from the box.

Sou was really thinking hard about what would be the perfect example of her style. She picked out denim shorts, grey crop top, classic leather jacket, that was always with her and pink button up shirt, that she usually would wear it around her waist.

‘God, I would almost forget about one more thing.’, Sou exclaimed and went back to her closed, picking up one more box. ‘Few days ago, director informed me about this challenge, so that I could prepare. And of course I had to order one more thing, that represents my style perfectly.’, she explained and showed black block heeled boots to the camera. They weren’t high, but they weren’t flat for sure. ‘They picked dresses instead of heels, so I’m not breaking the deal.’

‘Who’s clothes you don’t wanna get?’, camera man asked, making Sou turn back to him. She put her lips to one side of her face and looked up for a second, thinking of an answer.

‘Namjoon.’, she said after a while. Man motioned for her to extend her answer and she took a deep breath. ‘He’s really tall and his clothes will look big on me, especially because he really likes to wear baggy outfits. It’ll drown inside them.’, she added laughing. 

All eight members were now in a big while room with their chosen clothers behind them. 

‘Let’s look at them!.’, Hoseok said, pointing behind him.

‘I just wanna say, that I don’t want to pick Sou.’, Jungkook said, picking up shoes and shorts.

‘We said no heels!’, Seokjin exclaimed.

‘Correction: I gave you and option to chose between dresses and heels. You chose dresses and akirts and can you see any of them? No. So I didn’t do anything wrong. You should’ve been wiser when you were choosing.’, Sou said, rolling her eyes.

‘It’s all your fault.’ Taehyung screamed, pointing at Jungkook.

‘Okay, stop being dramatic and let’s start to pick out the pairs.’, Sou said emotionless and nodded at the crew members. 

They started to explain them the rules of how will the be choosing pairs. The rules were simple: one person trows a rose and whoever was closer to the rose was wearing throwing person clothes. But it couldn’t be normal with all the boys. It soon went all messy and dramatic with all teams. However the real highlight was, that Hoseok had to wear Jin’s clothes and Yoongi Sou’s. Sou on the other side had to wear outfit, that she didn’t want the most - Namjoon’s. Reactions were priceless, especially Yoongi’s who realised what he has to put on in a minute.

They all went to the changing rooms to put on their outifts and went right back to the white room with black capes on. And so the fashion show started. Sou went first. She stood on the podium and with emotionless face she threw the came away, making everybody around gasp in shock. 

‘#FasionableSou. Let’s get it trending.’, Jungkook said through the laugh and Sou just glared at him with pure hate in her eyes, which made him stop immediately.

‘You look like you have muscles. I guess going to the gym with Jungkook was a good decision.’, Jimin said and touched her arms. 

‘Can I go home now?’, she asked with a pout and they all laughed.

‘No, because our Suga is next!’, Taehyung screamed.

Yoongi stood on the podium, where Sou was few seconds before. He threw the cape away and everyone gasped in shock. Nobody even dared to say a thing. They were just standing with opened mouths and looking at him. But then Sou ended the silence, with laugh.

‘I’m sorry.’, she said, trying to stay calm, but them she looked down on his shoes and couldn’t do it anymore.

‘I’m glad this is funny for you.’, Yoongi said, pointing at her.

It’s already known, that Jin will joke about it probably for the rest of his life. But at least it was very funny, especially for Sou. Next members were going up on the podium and showing their outfits. Stupid comments were flying all around the room, everybody laughed a lot and had so much fun, even in terrible clothes.

The last part of the episode was showing off their outfits on a runaway. They all standed in line, getting ready. Sou was of course first, like most of the times. 

‘It’s my time to finally shine as a model.’, she said and when music started to play, she walked to the runaway and stopped for a moment to pose. She put her hands in the pocket of the sweater and pouted a little, making boys laugh. Sou started to walk till the end of the carpet and stopped again doing the same pose. Then she turned around, crouching at the same time. She turned her head back to the camera she send it a quick kiss, making boys scream again. After that she stood up and started walking back, moving her but as if she was twerking from time to time. But them when she crossed half way of the runaway, she turned all stoic and emotionless as if nothing had happened.

masterlist

#bts #bts imagine #bts au #bts scenario #bts reaction #8th member of bts #female!bts #kim namjoon #namjoon #kim seokjin #seokjin #yoongi #min yoongi #suga #hoseok #jung hoseok #jimin #park jimin #kim taehyung #taehyung #jeon jungkook #jungkook

[iamtuzu]

Being friends with enneagram types (as a four)

This is my personal expierience being friends with each enneagram type (it obviously is very subjective and wont apply to every person and relationship but lets share expieriences!)

Note: I’m 4w5, infj

Type 1: Looking up to them! Comitted, never dissapoint, promises always come true. Very supportive but honest when they disagree. Such valuable friends. Sometimes though, can’t feel them fully, sometimes they talk abstractly, idealisticly , not including their feelings and it draws an emotional boundary between us. Ideas we share about the world can be a bridge tho :)

Type 2: Angels!! Heavensent kind flowers, always knowing JUST what to say, delicate, remember details, are able to be charming, almost sugary sweet (which for me is perfectly fine). Will always try to make u feel like they care/understand but need to give others a chance to care for them too, can unnecessarily give a mesage of refusal when dont wanna cause problems. Its okay though, friends juat wanna be friends, let them in, ur not alone!

Type 3: Charming stars, will drag you all the way up to the shining night sky where they belong. If theyre not already ur best friend they at least are easily ur “favourite friend” :). Extremely fun, show you the bright side of life, show you how many possibilities the world offers, welcome support warmly and motivate you just as effectively when you need it. Invite them to ur party and u can be sure itll be a success just bc of theyre appearance!

Type 4: Well! Ive never been close with any four, what a shame :) anybody wants to complete the description?

Type 5: Ohhh, if i was to stay on a deserted island, id choose them to keep me company. Best conversations i ever held were with 5s! Starry night, hot fruit flavoured tea, two dreamy heads, whisper-talking with no end... the topic makes no difference. I just fall for the details they make me notice, how deep we can dig into any topic really. They really listen. Cause they always know how to correct me :) happens that i cant feel them being comitted, not texting first, rarely inviting me over - but then, when i show affection, they welcome it and respond, so its okay!

Type 6: Didnt have a good expierience, so its going to be a bit one sided. Theyre hard to understand. Thinking too quick, too superficially, basing decisions ns on ideas instead of expierience, doubting others, blaming, acting offended. After argues they feel guilty and say sorry to feel better. Shaky ground.

Type 7: Never been friends with a 7 :)

Type 8: The most vibrant and interesting people i know. From a distance they always seem mysterious, even verbally underlining that they are hard to get to know. They warn you not to get close, you cant imagine how dangerous it can get. But i already know theres nothing to be scared of :). Theyre confident, directly stating how they feel, what they want, what they expect from you. Very honest, make you feel like you need to keep distance, but the truth is they need time and PROOF youre trust worthy. Cause once they start caring its forever. Very hurt when feeling betrayed. Wont avoid argues which i love, but when it becomes too intanse and they start caring more about “winning” than finding solutions i cant stand it. Lovely, but you need to learn how they work.

Type 9: Make you feel accepted and loved. Create space for you to be yourself. Rarely jugde, want to understand, will follow you even when youre jumping into the fire. What makes trouble is that i lose emotional contact with them when they dont share their bad experiences, dont want to criticize and wont face problems. When i explode with emotions, they do everything to hide them, which makes it impossible to comunicate and solve problems.

Anybody wanna add something from their own expierience?

#enneagram #enneagram type 1 #enneagram type 2 #enneagram 3 #enneagram 8 #enneagram 1 #enneagram 4 #enneagram 2 #enneagram 6 #enneagram 7 #enneagram 9 #type 1 #type 2 #type 3 #type 4 #type 5 #type 6 #type 7 #type 8 #type 9 #enneagram types #enneagram type 3 #enneagram type 4 #enneagram type 6 #enneagram type 7 #enneagram type 8 #enneagram type 9 #enneagram memes

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Yaaay!! Thank you Soraya's inbox, sorry i blamed you on eating the last ask😂😘. You did great. Nono, he wasnt a torero, he looked like a prince. (Which is not better bcs i dont like any of those  figures but... whatever). Ooh, talking about suits, did you see the ranking hsfashionarchive did of the suits he wore this tour? Bcn was winning, pink suit was second and Mdd was third!! (1)

[I hope this works 😜🙏🏻, bc this was TOO long, jajajaa.]

Ohhh. Your mom is the best. So supportive! Petition to give her that award. She is clearly the winner. (1D clinex? capitalism in its pure state 😂. Did they really made those? Glad i didnt find it on time bcs i would have definitely brought them as a joke to my sister or something). You are already playing Niall’s songs to her? Did she like them? Does she have anything similar to “pikachu get away” she had for SOTT?. (2)

JAJAJAJJA. Netflix always does that to me too. Dont know why. I started watching Black mirror backwards bcs of that. Did you understand anything of chapter 7 os ST? (Did you finish the show??). Yep. The 8th season is the last one, and i dont know hoe to feel about it. Dissapointed by the shows? As in with the ending?? Or how? (3)

You sound like a devoted cat lady, yes. Ooow, i have little cousins too, though they are reaching the age of “too cool to be seen with you, old girl” Of course they make me laugh. Honey is a menace and i appreciate it. JAJAJAJAJAJAJA. He ate the chorizo?? Honeeey!! 😂😂😂 that made me laugh at loud int the train and now my neighbour is looking at me weirdly. I see, you’ll never get bored with him. (4)

When i was younger and + close minded, i didnt like tattos. Considere also that the ones I had saw in real life were the tribal ones, so there’s tgat. But then i grew up and started liking them (you can partially blame larry for that). Nobody in my family (cousins and so) has one, and thats kind of a encouragement, I’d love to piss them, but my dad has threaten me to disinherit me (we dont heven have that, lol) and i dont have any tatto on mind, so i wont do it… maybe in the future, yes. (5)

I MISS LOUIS TOO! I hope he is fine. Resting and so. Im sure that creating the album that will destroy us all takes a lot of effort. (Seriously, where is heeeee?). Heeey!! I wont get bored. Or mad! I have such a great time talking to you. If i dont talk more its bcs of the character limit and bcs im always worried about pressuring or imposing. Dont be dumb. If i dont answer its bcs im busy with finals and so. Nothing more. Promise. (6)

THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING. i know i know. It makes sense and its a smart move, but… i cant stand raeggeton/latino, its not for me. Sad. I havent lost hope though. Maybe ill change my mind later Yeah, i have the same problem with my friends, they only listen to trap and raeggeton and i die everytime. We mostly agree to put something neutral like pop or the radio. (Disney songs never get old😂). (7)

Ay. I just saw that i wrote “heven” instead of “even” and now i want to delete myself. I was walking while writing the asks and i didnt proofread it. I feel so dumb. Anyway, sorry for sending so many asks (today i made a record xd) and, as always, good night!!————————————————————————-Hi!!!! Yes! I saw the ranking. But it isn’t exactly a ranking. It’s more to like chose wants your favorite suit. I did it and guess what? My first choice in the Madrid one, jajajaa. Second the kilt. And third the jumpsuit. Very accurate.

Oh, you’re telling me! My family bought me a bunch of 1D merch (unofficial all): the clinex, a hair brush, a bracelet, 2 books!, one perfume (this I love it, it smells so good), a make up box… I can’t even remember everything. Ah! A birthday card too!! Where they talk when you open it. I always use to wish happy birthday to people (the audio) 🤣🤣🤣🤣. I had to tell them to please stop wasting money on those things. I don’t even know where I have it. And if a can ask, I’d rather they give me the money so I can go to their concerts,jajajaja.EDIT: I can’t believe I forgot the poster!! I have it beside my head right now,jajaja, and I only realized it was there when I looked at the boys to ask for inspiration,😅😅)

Oh, my mom loves Niall’s album too. But I don’t think she “knows” any of the lyrics,jajaja. Though, she knows the hmmmm in This Town. But that’s all. She and my sister, both separately were like: “oh! who’s him??” When they heard Fire Away. And I was like: “ehhhhh, it’s Niall’s album, so guess who’s it?? What, you like it? See, Harry’s not the only one who can sing…” jajajajja. It’s because of comments like this, that they think I don’t like Harry. And I get so offended when they hint at it! Like, of course I like Harry. But I like all of them too!! God!! I love Niall’s album so much (I’m hearing it right now, bc I couldn’t remember what song was the one they liked it so much, and now I can’t stop 😅). Harry’s and Niall’s albums have been lining in my car since they were released. I had Harry’s playing in a loop till I got Niall’s one and I interchanged them. Then Harry’s came back a month or so before his concert. And now it’s time for Niall’s again. (You can’t imagine how hard it’s being writing this with honey laying on my arm!! Jajaja, I can’t barely move my fingers😅).

AND WHAT DID YOU DO WHEN YOU REALIZED YOU WERE WATCHING BLACK MIRROS BACKWARDS??? I’ve watched canter 1 and 2 of ST afterwards, but I hadn’t gotten to watch the whole thing yet. I can’t stand to be looking at a screen for 50minutes without doing anything. And don’t get me wrong, lol, I can be on tumblr for hours, jajaja, but a have to move my hand, and I can go from a blog to another… y'know, jajajajaja. And when I watched chapter 7 of ST i was like, okay… now they have to investigate what happened… or a guessed they would be doing flashbacks… jajajajajaja. Then I realized my mistake and thought I was stupid, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣“I see you from a different point of view🎶🎶” ( sorry, that’s me singing,jajajaja, Seeing Blind. I LOVE that song)And shows have disappointed me in the sense that they turn out to have an awful ending (seriously, I know you do it for the audience, but end a show how it deserves it, don’t turn it into shit just for a handful of money); or bc they just end it bc they don’t have enough audience. It’s always a matter of audience,jajaja.if they have a lot, they want to explode it. And if they don’t have enough they finish it ASAP. 😒

Honey is a menace, yeh, I couldn’t love him more,jajajaja. He can’t see me petting Liam, he gets jealous and comes to me and headbutt my hand so I pet him too. And Liam is so patient with him. They’re totally like liam and Louis, jajja. Hey! did I tell you the story about when I got Liam? no!! Well, someone gave my dad 4 kitties (they were sooooo small). So, guess their names (it was post March 25, 2015…) yes!! They were named (by me) Louis, Niall, Harry and Liam, jajajajajja. But Harry died a couple of days later, because he was really really young. He couldn’t survive without his mom ☹️. And the other three, my dad took them to a place we have were he has a little garden (?) with vegetables and chickens and proper farm-y, jejeje. I wasn’t too (any) into cats back then, so… Then he brought home one of them, to have our home free of mice. AND IT WAS LIAM!! And I adopted him. I took care of him. We started loving each other. And he became useless with mice, jajaja. He’s totally domesticated now 😝. And that’s his story. The rest? Louis became a big alpha male at their new home. But s car ran him over last summer, and he died 😔. And Niall is a female, jajajajaa. And I hate her. Because she hasn’t been able to keep her kitties alive once!! (She’s pregame again, and we’re praying this time she knows who to be a mom🙏🏻) Ah!! And Honey had siblings the other day!! The guy who gave it to my dad is my brother’s friend and he show him a pic. There are two white cats!! I WANT THEM!!! But they don’t let me have anymore cats! Jajajajaja.

Hey, we might have in common the reason why we started liking tats, jajajjajaa. And, well, to piss off the family is as good a reason as any other,jajajaja. And why are dads like that?? When my sister and I got our lips pierced he went to pick up at the train station and as soon as he saw us he turned around and walked to the car without saying a word,jajajajja. I HAD TOLMY PARENTS WE WOULD BE DOING IT!! I asked my mom:hey mom, if a get a 10 in maths, can I get a piercing?? And she say okay. So I got a 10 (I might cheated or not on this, bc I already knew I had a 10, but wel…), and I got a piercing.my sister only got it, bc I was 16, she had to go with me as an adult, and giving she was already there, she got one too,jajajaja. (My granny almost kill us 😅)

Oh, louis has a BIG responsibility on his hands. He will be killing a lot of people when he puts out his album. He has to chose the proper songs to do it. It will be considered a massive destruction weapon, so he better be careful. But god, for real, when will Louis and Liam release their albums. At this pace, Harry and Niall will be releasing their second one before LiLo has finished their respective tours. And when they finish, Narry will have release their second one, and will be promoting them. So Lilo will start working in their seconds one. And… and… AND ONE DIRECTION WON’T COME BACK EVER BECAUSE THEY CAN FIX A DATE WHERE ALL OF THE BOYS HAVE NOTHING TO DO, AND WHAT WILL I DO??? 😭😭😭😭😭 (sorry, I panicked a bit there,oops).

Uggggg, I can’t stand raeggeton either. I can’t stand the music, argggg. Or the culture of it (the how it treats women, and glorifies sex). I can’t I can’t.and you can’t go out without hearing it. My friends and I went on road trip once. And it was my friend’s car. And she only listens to raeggeton. And after 10, 15, 40? minutes I had to ask her “will this song ever end???” And she told me it was already a different one. And I swear I almost jump out of the car,jajajajaja. We were crossing a bridge, and I wanted to jump out of the car!!!!! I couldn’t listen to that any more!!!!!  Ejkbvwirbfeuirnfrvoieefvnv The she caved and we switched to movie’s soundtracks,jajajaja.

Ha! Don’t worry about sending a lot of ask, I learn something, you’ll see,jajajajaa.Also, I forgot to ask early. Is your sister a 1d fan too, then? She goes to concerts and knows the song… how lucky! you have someone to talk about all the gossip!! (And they know what you’re talking about…) or is she a “casual” fan, and doesn’t get into fandom drama? She just likes the music and doesn’t care about their lives?are you both into drama?? God, I don’t discuss drama very much online, but if had someone face to face to talk about it… I would be the happiest person in the world,jajajajaa (what an exaggeration 🙊).

I think this is all. I LOVE ORPUR CONVERSATIONS!! Jajajaja( I hope I did it correctly and all this is under read more, jajaja)Byeeeeee!!!! 😚😚😚😚

#anon #iuubefvkjnevjknefv #it's the first time I put read more #I learnt how to do it yesterday (I had too google it #lol)

[ace2light]

felt so down..

i wanted to talk to people so badly. by people, i meant those whom i am close with. super close with, esp him. i do have ppl whom are extremely close to me. but i dont dare to approach them due to as follows: 

poon: he is with his friends, he wont have the time to entertain me also, well, there were times i couldnt control myself and texted him, i got a single word ‘ok’, i know where i stand, i backed off. i switched off my phone literally. idw to have more disappointment in my alrdy bad and sad mood. rather than unknowingly text him and anticipate he would at least ask how i am. i rather not meet with such a disappointment. well if he knows that i am really trying my best to cope with my feelings and thoughts, he would auto read this without me telling him. cos if i dont spam him, i go to insta, if i dont go to insta, i come to tumblr. these are the ways i penned down how i feel and what i think when there is no one to talk to me, no one whom i can chat with. 

steph: in gasglow, i dont want her to be burden with my issues. she will know when she returns when we catch up anws. 

chanel and jiawen: we are drifting apart. they are the ppl i joke ard with but no longer the ones whom i find to rant about. as i always hang out with poon, i dw them to feel i treat bf more than i treat my bff. i dont want them ti feel they are spare tyre. 

sheena and sam: i scared i make them feel overwhelm with my issues. plus sheena is no coping well alrdy, idw to add to her problems. 

mum: she no longer is my close listening ears. i nvr tell her many things, in fact, i nvr say much about myself anymore, except rant about dad to her. other than that, nth. idw her to worry about me, esp my studies. i didnt tell her i wasnt coping well in school lately also. she’s too busy dealing with my dad anws. 

dylan: he is a gd friend, but then i am not comfy telling him too many things. 

xx: i lose the position to rant to him. before i got into a relationship, he was always there when i was feeling down. be it normal classes whereby i am feeling sad or stress, he will buy me oreo (altho he say his house got unlimited supplies, so many times, he think i believe meh). he can chat with me for the entire night when i was feeling so lost about some issues in the past. he takes care of me like a little sis. often he is the one who can notice i am sad and try ways to make me happy. i always treated him as my bro. he is like my younger/older bro. because of many reasons, i distant myself from him. i dont want poon to be jelly about xx and me, neither do i want to make xx feel sad, so the best way is to distant from him. 

it has been long since i felt like cutting myself. thankfully that feeling happens when i was on a cab, i have no access to pen knife. if not idk what would happen to myself. honestly, i just wanna just rot in bed tmr, i dont feel like meeting anyone, but cos i promise alrdy, i have to appear.. 

it is getting worst, i overthink. i overthink in my sleep also. idw to. idk how to tell my brain to gimme a break. i really wanna break free from overthinking. i even woke up from a worst case scenario about poon me and my parents. i was awaken by this dream today, it scares me but i didnt share with him. 

what i feel now. towards poon. yes, i am his gf. apart from saying ‘i love u’, he technically did nth thru out the entire day i was down. i understand that he is with his friend. but i am feeling too low to even be considerate about it. at least, talk to me abit? make me feel a bit btr instead of just ‘i love u’? i know u love me and you mean it, but in times of this, too much of such phrases makes me feel i am not impt. i am just a person whom you have to say ‘i love u’ to a few times a day. for so long, i havent felt so lonely on terms of texting. i am a heavy texter to ppl whom i am comfortable in. he is one of them. i always felt a bit sad that when i am awake, he is asleep, why cant fate let him have a normal sleeping time? i really wish he was at least awake to text me when i am on my way to school or in school.. yes, he blame me that i didnt call him up or wake him up, but certain things, it doesnt comes from me, it takes his effort, not just mine. i mean if a person is asleep, what for wake him up for a casual chat esp when the reason is i am bored? this is so unreasonable. 

just ytd issue. btn poon and me. when i started to put in more trust in him, he shakes it again. i trusted him to come meet me with monster also, in fact, i anticipated that, that was the encouragement i told myself, the only reason that keep me awake. the thought of my bf visiting me and delivering a drink i needed so badly that day. end up, he did come (make me feel i am his priority but i was guilty). before that, i was comtrolling my temper not to rage at him. honestly, what does he mean. well if i was in his shoes, it is very simple. come to the gf then meet his friends afterwards. cos he promise the gf to come alrdy, but didnt promise the gf to wait for her after her test. what was promise first should be carried out, what is so hard about it? for me, personally, whoever i made a promise with first, i go with the promise first. unless that person is fking impt to me, which is him, whenever he wants to meet last minute, i have to push some of my plans away just to meet him. i really hope he knows it is hard for me to lie all the time, i dont have so much lies in me to hide from my parents all the time. and in order to make a lie, i have plan ahead, if it is so last minute, i cant think of a perfect reason to lie. but he doesnt get it? he seems to take it for granted that i can meet him any time sometimes, that is what i feel. sometimes, i have to get back home early cos i cnt go home too late. one is my fears of going home alone late at night, second is i cant see shit at night, three my mum is worried for me too. one more thing, shouldnt he pull me into the conversation instead of asking me to try on my own? isnt it easier for him to pull me into a conversation with his friends rather than i awkwardly ask them weird qns? i just hate it when he force me to talk, and if i dont, he would get upset, like srsly, i didnt talk for a reason okay. 

well i do appreciate his efforts, waking up before i go and caring for me. but if he’s gonna ignore me or forget about me when he is with his friends, i rather he dont show me i am his priority. cos it is fking hard to deal with when he isnt there to reply me all the time, reply as in a continuous conversation not a single word of trying to brush me off, yes, it might be a form of acknowledgement of it to me. but then, if i rant to him, do i really need an acknowledgement? hmm, i doubt so. i hate spamming him my feelings my thoughts cos he reads but dont reply me one by one, i hate that. if i tell you my feelings and thoughts fking reply, rants, at least tell me sth instead of a word ‘i reply later cos i chatting or gaming with my friends’ is still btr than a word, but ofc, make sure he replies afterwards lah, if not the words has no meaning. 

it is so hard to not text a person whom you text all the time a day. it is not i didnt wanna text, i am so fking tired and disappoointed at the nonchalant, okay not even nonchalant reply, just a word answer seems like i am disturbing him and brushing me off. i tried to text him, but if i am gonna get a word, what for i continue, sometimes it is not i didnt wanna spam. it’s just i know he wont reply to every single thing, so i am avoiding that disappointment. it takes two hands to clap, he want me to do this, then prove to me, it is worth it. like spamming, you want me to spam, then reply everything lah, i know i say b4 he need not necessarily reply everything but who doesnt want to be replied, if not send for what? 

he always wanted me to text him ‘i want him now’, why would i text a person asleep that? does he knows how much courage it takes for me to ask for things i want?  for almost 10 years, i havent been living for myself, i live for others, i nvr really requested a lot of things. idk how and i fear rejections, imagine mustering tons of courage then got rejected. hell no am i gonna make myself suffer that. best eg, first time i asked him to bring me sth that is extremely out of his way for me, he came but didnt fulfil the things i want. seeing him makes me not angry but the sadness doesnt disappear. 

i am like this now cos i want him to talk to me, even if it is for 2 mins, show that he tries to understand how i feel now. but nah, nope, i had enough of dissapointment today. i aint gonna on my phone until tmr. if he is late for tmr, i am so gonna ignore him for a day. 

as much as i wanna blame him for having fun and forgot about me. but i cnt. 

enough of him.

what cause me so sad and down. it is like i am awake but i aint doing my work. i dont have the energy to do so. i am so tired of everything. 

academic failure. is extremely strong when i failed my CT. 

stress. i m dealing with so many in schools but no one exactly knows what i am going thru. 

home: i have to smile to maintain i am okay feels. one not to let my parents worry and not to anger them. 

friends: i dgaf about them alrdy. i dont have the mood to deal with them. 

him: i am just idk, extremely sad and dissapointed about it, how he acts/ treats me these 2 days, esp today. 

wtv happens next, tonight, i wont gurantee. whether i harm myself or not. i cant be sure. controlling it is so hard. death to me aint scary, what i am scared of is the sadness ppl felt if i harm myself. 

dont blame me to disappear. if he shown more effort, i wouldn't have disappeared due to sadness and disappointment. actually, would he even know i disappear? 

or maybe, i havent been okay, cos i felt neglected by him... apart from my parents, only one more person can me feel so dead when i am alrdy unhappy, which worsen my sadness. 

IF HE HAPPENS TO FIND TILL HERE, I SALUTE HIM COS I DONT EXPECT HIM AT ALL. which implies he knows how to find me when i dissapear. 

[georgielou-50913]

It’s tuesday, just gone 12.30.... so i guess its now wednesday.

Why am i here again, why am i feeling this again. it really never goes away.

Doesnt matter how many times luke promises it will get better, it never does. i always find myself here, sitting here, listening to sad music. 

just recently, the past couple of days, ive been missing rosie. god so much. my best friend, ive brought her up a couple of times to luke, he doesnt really talk about it. i dont wanna pester him with it. but it would be nice to talk, sometimes.

ive been looking at old pictures... it hurts more. looking at her old instagram. im pretty sure shes blocked me on facebook now, or shes deactivated it for good. my messages dont go through on messenger, maybe she broke her phone? maybe she changed facebooks, maybe she DID block me. that hurts even more to think about. 

why am i only just feeling this. after so many months. almost 5 months. and im only just feeling this heartbreak. i should have felt like this long ago. maybe i was mad.  i shouldnt of been mad... its too late now.. nothing i can do.

i should be happy. i have an amazing boyfriend, who does everything he can for me, and he gets the anger and built up shit i throw at him. i dont mean to, im just so lost.  ......so so so so lost, so many thoughts going through my head right now. its so late, i should be asleep. but i dont feel tired. Trying to stop myself from walking out of this house and going for a walk. that would be dangerous right now. its very dark, and lonely outside... and luke would be mad.

getting through the week is hard. monday to friday. same old crap each week. waiting to be saved by him again. the week gets progressively harder. each day, nights especially. ive fucked up my sleeping pattern again by sleeping away the whole of monday to make it pass quicker. sleeping is easy. i dont have to deal with it. luke didnt stay long though. 

ive gained so much weight, which i believe is due to how bad my depression is, i drank more sugar and ate to pass the time. now im so much bigger than ive ever been. its fixable. but theres no motivation.  you cant do anthing without the correct motivation.  my birthday is in a couple of weeks, on the 31st.

am i looking forward to it? i cant say no, a whole day at the zoo with luke,,, ofcourse thats exciting, but i dont want it to fly past because we have a whole week together too. i just cannot wait to be around him the whole week. 

loneliness plays a huge part in my depression, i wold always be called up to go hang out with rosie, even if that meant sitting there on our phones in complete silence. company. with the person i gave all my love to at that point in time. then luke came along, i didnt expect us to drift so much. so much changed. ......ive just reached out to hannah, my old best friend. ive asked if she wants to meet. so i will see where this goes. it may end up with her ignoring me. but we will see i suppose. i dont really care either way, i wish rosie would get in contact, but she wont. 

where do i go from here. my job wont give me any work... i know for a fact i wont get any payment this month from work. im dreading it. i know i will be homeless. and then what. luke keeps saying dont worry, but how can i not. think about it. 

I survived once. i went through a stillborn, i handled it. i went into a deep depression, i slept for 2 weeks straight. then something clicked, and i said no. this is not me, this is not who i am. i am better than this. i didnt get this far to give up now. i woke up that 3rd week, told myself i can do it, depression has been my enemy my whole life. what would she be thinking, what would grandad be thinking.. they would be so dissapointed, im being so weak. i had just lost a baby. and on the 3rd week i got up, brushed it off. dressed up, went to town with my friends and smiled, like a big fuck you to the piece of shit who put me there, for the last time. it took me a couple of days, and i went and got a job.  i pulled myself right up and changed my life. i lost weight again, i was happy. after the worst possible thing in my life happened. i still got up. 

whats different now?  why am i not getting up.  whats  changed....

i cant even answer that. i dont know. 

it like ive lost a section of myself. like im not able to stand anymore.

in my head i picture everything i want to do. i want to just put my middle finger up to my current boss and tell them where to go. then go and find a new job as quickly as possible, start the job. start drawing again, go join the gym, lose weight. meet new people. build a stronger relationship with luke. move out. be happy. 

in the end, all i want is to be happy.