#just got sad seeing people say that Reki is overreacting when I felt that this is actually quite a normal reaction | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

azure-sekai · 3 years

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Just watched Sk8 episode 7, and I am v hurt for my boy Reki but someone please get that boy some therapy!!

Reki is still just a high schooler so it's only natural that his emotional state might fluctuate the way it has been this past episode! He literally was just trying to have a good ole time with his friend and got randomly trashed on by other skaters calling him a "lowlife that only hangs around [Snow]." Plus, I think he really did try his best to hold it together. He told himself that he wasn't the type to mope around and actively tried to gauge the different between him and Langa before suffering from a breakdown. I don't think his anger stems from being "talentless" but from being left behind cause all the other skaters that he hangs around are high level. Shadow is well known on S, Miya is on his way to being on the National Team, Joe and Cherry and renowned, and now Langa is also up there with them while he is just "the tag along."

Also, I don't know about you but I think he might have some PTSD when it comes to ADAM. This GROWN MAN PURPOSELY skated the way he did to break Reki which ended with Reki having to get sent to the hospital. ALSO, Reki was genuinely scared of ADAM and worried for Langa that he had a dream Langa died. Even during Langa and Reki's argument Reki says, "Do you know just how much I..." and its open to interpretation but I think he was either gonna finish with "I worry for you" to allude back to the dream or "I fear him" to talk about the legit trauma ADAM gave him.

Tbh that argument was bound to end like that from the get-go, not just because Reki lost control of his emotions, but because Langa brought up ADAM in sentence 1 despite Reki saying he really hates talking about him in an earlier conversation. Reki did try to walk away from the conversation, which may have given him some time to process and adjust, however, I respect and love Langa and think it was the right decision to tell Reki first but there may have been a better time to tell him rather than in the rain when he is trying to walk away after being incredibly worked up and disheartened.

TLDR; Reki and Langa are both babies, but Reki needs help and Langa was really not helping during that argument.

#sk8 #reki kyan #langa hasegawa #sorry this is such a long post I really wasn't expecting to pop off this hard LOL #just got sad seeing people say that Reki is overreacting when I felt that this is actually quite a normal reaction #I also have this theory that its gonna be Miya that pulls him outta this slump cause Miya got ostracized for being better and so he knows h #how it feels and might help Reki understand that Langa might feel that same way #but who knows!! only gotta wait 1 more day to find out LOL

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reki-of-the-valley · 3 years

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Thinking of Renga angst. Like only angst. No happy ending. No redemption. Just hurt.

I'm gonna write down my ideas to get it out of my system but I want to preface this with I love Langa. I genuinely believe that he is a good kid with a kind heart and that he is not twisted or horrible or manipulative. My spiralling ideas for angst don't represent how I think of him so if someone dares come to me with some fucking Langa hate, I won't hesitate to snap.

TL;DR I don't believe in anything I'm going to write here, I will never elaborate on it, but I'm going through something rn and I have to let it out somehow

Now I'm putting this under a cut because it will hurt and I don't want to trigger anyone

(unintentionally) emotionally abusive Langa. Langa who takes out his emotions on those he cares about. Langa who goes distant as soon as something doesn't go his way. Langa who snaps easily

But Langa who won't hesitate to say he's in love. Langa who does genuinely love Reki. Langa who, despite all his problems, wants to be the best he can for Reki. Langa who is trying but also causing so much harm

Emotionally dependant Reki. Reki who just wants someone to love him. Reki who just wants someone to be interested in him, in what he does. Reki who just wants someone who will listen to him

Reki who will jump head first into any relationship because "someone actually loves me"

Reki with self esteem issues. Reki with his inferiority complex. Reki who knows that he isn't all that strong, that he clings onto what he can, onto people who show the minimum amount of interest. Reki who thinks he's the problem.

So when Langa tells him that he loves him, Reki jumps on the opportunity. Because Langa is his best friend. Because he loves Langa. And Langa loves him. Someone finally loves him.

But it doesn't get better. They don't argue any less than before. Langa doesn't stop breaking his promises. Langa still isn't careful. If anything, he's even more reckless. Langa is always more reckless. He promises to be careful, but he isn't. Reki worries, terrified for Langa. Langa who loves him. Langa who says "I love you" every day to him before pressing kisses to his face

And every time Reki says something, Langa is snapping. He's not being reckless, Reki is just overreacting. Reki with his paranoia of everyone getting hurt when he's the only one ever getting hurt. Reki who is the one who's always wrapped up in bandages

Someone tries telling Reki that it isn't right, that Langa shouldn't be snapping like that at him, that Langa shouldn't be shaking him off as soon as Reki tries to make things better, but Reki doesn't listen. Because Langa loves him. And people in love don't hurt each other. Because Langa always comes back, saying sorry, pressing kisses to his face, saying "I love you"

Reki can deal with Langa's moods. "Langa's just going through stuff, y'know? Don't worry about me." Reki forcing a smile whenever someone asks what's wrong. Reki forcing himself to be happy around others when all he wants to do is cry. But he can't be sad. He can't be hurt. Langa loves him. Isn't that what he wanted all along? Someone who would love him, love him despite his problems? Love him wholly, fully, truly? Langa loves him. Langa loves all of him.

And it gets out of hand. Langa is more distant, more snappy. All those little things, every time Reki makes a mistake, Langa is looking down on him. But he isn't, is he? It's all in Reki's head. It has to be. Because Langa loves him. Langa loves him. Langa, who is amazing at everything he does, he can't be putting Reki down. It's all in Reki's head. And if Langa does say something, if he does tell him to quit trying, that he won't achieve anything, that he won't ever get it, if Langa pushes Reki to tears, then he's always there, he's there saying sorry, pressing kisses all over Reki's face, "I love you." It's always I love you.

It takes awhile for Reki to truly see how bad things have gotten. It takes tears almost daily, hidden in his bedroom, refusing to talk to his mother, refusing to look at his sisters, unable to look at anyone who cares about him without having this wave of tears threaten to pour out

He can deal with Langa's moods, except he can't. People in love don't hurt each other, except they do. Love doesn't magically make things better. Love doesn't make the pain go away

Reki almost doesn't do it. Reki almost can't do it. He can't leave Langa, but he knows he has to. He loves Langa, he really does, and he wants to believe that Langa loves him. Because despite it all, Langa is nice to him. He just... Has his moments. He has these moments where he isn't nice. Moments where he is so mean, so hurtful, so terribly awful that Reki just wants to cry. But he can't cry because then he'd be showing Langa that he is weak

It's messy, the breakup. It's a horrible mess. Langa is pleading, promising to be good, to be better, that he loves Reki. He always loves Reki. And Reki almost gives in. He almost gives in to the kisses pressed to his face. He almost gives in to another promise he knows will be broken. But he doesn't. He doesn't give in. If he can be strong just once in his life, it has to be now. It has to be saying goodbye.

And he manages it. He manages to leave. Not without an overflow of tears, but he manages to leave. To leave his only chance at love. Because no one but Langa has ever loved him.

Reki moves. With university, he manages to get out, far from every street corner that hurts so bad. He manages to get out of his hometown so filled with pain

But the hurt is still there. He can't commit to any kind of relationship anymore. That pretty girl that's clearly flirting with him, a pretty girl he would have loved to meet a year ago, a pretty girl that was showing interest in him, a pretty girl he could have shared everything with, he brushes her off. That boy who's slinging his arm around his shoulder, talking to him about their common interests, Reki walks away from him. He walks away from everyone. He doesn't talk to him mom much anymore. He barely texts Koyomi. His other friends from high school or from S are basically strangers to him now. There's still Langa, Langa with a little snowflake and a heart next to his name, but Reki knows he isn't supposed to talk to him. He knows that he'll only spiral and break down if he does. He wants, because the last thing Langa sent him was an I love you, but he doesn't do anything. He just stares at the message as he cries

Little by little, Reki isolates himself from everyone. He sees pieces of Langa in everyone he meets, painful shards of how their friendship first started with each greeting. He can't do it. He can't get attached anymore. He can't love anyone else. He can't hurt anymore.

Langa, Langa who loved him, genuinely loved him, he fucked Reki up so bad that he's just the shell of who he used to be. Reki knows that Langa did love him, but both their problems got in the way of what could have been happiness. Langa with his isolation out of fear of being left by someone he loves, Langa with his need to always go faster, father, bigger, Langa with his broken promises. And Reki with his paranoia of people getting hurt, Reki with his inferiority complex borderline martyr complex, Reki who never felt good enough to be loved but felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. In different circumstances, maybe they could have been happy. But they couldn't because neither one was ready to address their problems.

And that haunting knowledge that maybe they could have been happy, it keeps Reki up. Because that's all he wants: happiness.

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