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#just her giving up all her hope of ever returning to her old life and resigning herself to her new life as a princess that she hated
arolesbianism · 7 months
Text
Mark meeting ded is just gonna be him going btw have you heard of the music producer 8ballin' 👉👈? And ae is just gonna sit there like I've been in every wrong place that you can imagine for the past half a decade you tell me
#rat rambles#splat posting#just wait until he figures out hes talking to the guy who was putting out all those sick beats during the lowest point of his life#hes going to be inconsolable#also sorry for the self indulgent mark posting Im just excited for him to get to do things again#despite technically having a lot going on Ive always felt that his limited relationships have made him the weak link of my agents#I love him sm and I love his dynamics with the others sm but he just doesnt have the bond with either of off the hook that I wish he did#but its kinda inevitable because he definitely was way too up his own ass during octo expansion to willingly talk to marina much#and pearl by extention#in fact cuttlefish is who he ended up closest to but hes been busy being off with his favorite children#so Im hoping thisll give me more ideas for him and pearl especially in the modern day when hes much more stable mentally#bestie survived the horrors of being 14 nothing will ever get as bad as that <3#now would probably be a good time to read octo expansion retranslated tbh make sure Im not missing anything super important#itll probably also be good to make sure Im satisfied with the current state of marks octo expansion stuff and rework some stuff maybe#I probably wont touch it too much but I think maybe adding some early on mark marina interactions could be good#basically give him a frame of reference for what talking to her felt like before his old grudge starts to return to him#oh yeah btw for mark his temporary memory loss was from too much exposure to sanitized ink#he did in fact go there to sanitize himself the only reason he wasnt able to was because the fumes from the shower caused his movement to#get kinda fucked up along with his vision so he fumbled about for a bit as his body fought the bits of sanitized ink that got in his system#he thought he was straight up dying so he tried to retreat but ended up running into cuttle and sash and the rest is history#his mental and physical state would worsen a bit more and only after that would his body start to slowly but surely flush the stuff out#it wasnt nearly enough to properly sanitize him or cause any coloration but it was still very much enough to effect him poorly#part of the reason that the trials helped with the memory loss was that all that movement and moving ink through his systems helped a lot#but he still struggled a Lot with it initially due to his struggles with balance and coordination#even post oe he has worsened short term memory and has some nerve damage#so yay chronic pain time#despite this he's still a duelies squelcher main because ofc he is#but in all seriousness he often does have to wear wrist braces and has had times where hes had to take extended breaks from ink sporting#its smth he struggles to accept is a limitation for him especially since the whole reason he initially wanted to get sanitized was to focus#more on his combat skills and prove himself as a soldier of great importance
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jakexneytiri · 1 year
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Hi, I can request a family life with husband! neteyam x reader, after 2 movies, please long if you agree
hii!!
you sure can! this was so cute to write and i’m in love with dad!neteyam. i hope this is what you had in mind, anon!<3
forever & always
⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰ ⊱✿⊰
it’s been ten years since you and your husband first mated. neteyam was madly in love with you, that love only growing stronger over the years. he could never get enough of you, never keep his hands off of you. you have four children to prove it, and you’re pregnant with your fifth.
neteyam arranged an entire ceremony to be held tonight for your anniversary. the clan spent the entire day preparing, harvesting fruits, hanging bioluminescent plants for light, and gathering old twigs and dead plants to be used for the main fire.
in your hut, things were absolute chaos. you were waiting for neteyam to return home, he had “a few more things to set up” for the party. your children couldn’t contain themselves, excitedly running around your shared hut readying themselves for the evening.
your oldest, tsantu, you hardly ever had to worry about. he was very independent, and rarely asked for your assistance. he was all ready for the ceremony, wearing his special arm cuff he crafted, with neteyam’s help.
“mom, do you need help?”
“would you please help your brother with his necklace? that would be a big help.” you place a kiss on the top of his head, as he nods and goes to help his brother.
your second born, se’ayl, was calm and reserved like her older brother. however, she was sassy from time to time, with both you and neteyam. she definitely picked up the habit from aunt kiri, who she adored.
“se’ayl? do you have your feathers on yet?” you ask, glancing over at her.
“ugh, do i have to wear those?” she groans, taking a deep breath in just to sigh it out.
“yes, flower. your father wants everyone to wear them tonight. aunty kiri will be wearing hers, too.” you say in an excited tone, hoping it will cheer her up.
“really? she is??” excitement lights up on her face, as she quickly goes to change into them.
your third, txonuk, was your occasionally rebellious child, sometimes outspoken, making neteyam be the bad guy when he needed to be punished, but you loved him nonetheless.
“let’s see your necklace, txonuk!” you say excited, kneeling down to take a look.
he lifts his chin upwards, so you can get a good look at the newly placed necklace.
“what a very handsome young man you are.” you say, as he giggles.
“mama, i’m not a man, i’m just a boy!” he yells, waving his arms around dramatically.
“oh, forgive me! what a very handsome young boy you are.” he wraps his arms around your leg, giggling into it.
“mama! mama!” nima interrupts, holding her new feathers up to your face. “these pwease!”
nima, your youngest, was one of the main reasons you lost sleep at night. she’s very shy around people she doesn’t know, but very comfortable with her siblings. she finds comfort in you and neteyam, to her, you both are her sun and moon. you often find her in the middle of the night curled up in between you and neteyam, from the “bad dreams” she has. (she has bad dreams almost every night. it’s just an excuse to be closer to you both).
“these ones?” you question, holding them up. “they’re very pretty, little love. do you need help putting them on?”
“noooo! i do it!” she giggles as she runs off to the other side of the hut.
just then, the flap to your hut opened, revealing your beloved husband.
“iiiiiiiit’s dad!” neteyam says, causing all four children to burst into a fit of giggles.
“where are my five wonderful children?” he asks, looking around the hut even though they’ve all ran right to his feet, apart from nima.
txonuk gives a confused look to both se’ayl and tsantu. whispering, he asks “five? but, there’s only…” and he begins counting on his fingers. “there’s only 4 of us!”
tsantu shakes his head, whispering back “he’s talking about the baby in momma’s belly, skxawng.”
“hmmmm, one!” neteyam says, placing a kiss to tsantu’s head.
“and there’s two!” kissing the top of se’ayl’s head.
“dad! dad i’m right here!” txonuk says, pointing to himself.
“oh, there’s three!” neteyam chuckles as he places a kiss to txonuk’s head.
“now, where’s my number four?”
nima runs over, her arm stuck in the air from her necklace being on wrong.
“daddy, i’m stuck!” she pouts, her little eyes filling with tears.
neteyam kneels, fixing her necklace and freeing her arm, kissing the top of her head.
“there’s my #4. no need for tears, babygirl. are those new feathers?”
she giggles, and squeals “yes!” before running away.
glancing over to you now, neteyam stands, arms open wide.
“looking for #5?” you question, moving your swollen belly closer to his grasp.
“ah, my #5.” he kisses your belly gently, before snaking his arms around your waist, lips to your ear as he says
“hi, mama. looking beautiful, as always.”
“hi.” you smile, kissing your mate, which earns a collective “ewwwww!” from your children.
you both laugh, as neteyam covers your face in kisses. forehead, cheeks, chin, neck, ears, anywhere he could reach, he’d kiss.
“daddy, that’s GWOSS!” nima shouts, covering her eyes.
“well, good thing aunty kiri, *kiss* uncle lo’ak, *kiss* and aunty tuk tuk *kiss* are waiting outside for you four, *kiss* because i have a loooot more *kiss* kisses for *kiss* mama!” he says, kissing you again, chuckling against your skin.
they squeal and run out of the hut, to be met with their favorite aunts and uncle. you stand in the doorway of your hut, neteyam’ standing behind you as one arm is wrapped around your waist, the other holding the flap to your hut open.
“sooo, are you guys coming with us now or-“ lo’ak asks, just to be cut off by neteyam.
“no. you go ahead, we’ll be there soon.”
kiri takes se’ayl’s hand, while tuk takes nima’s, as they start to head to the celebration. lo’ak takes tsantu’s in one, and txonuk’s in the other.
lo’ak rolls his eyes, muttering “keep it in your loincloth, would ya.”
although he mumbled, neteyam still heard him.
“have you SEEN my mate? how on pandora would i do that?”
lo’ak groans, walking away, yelling “get a room, you two!”
“we’re trying!!” neteyam yells back before closing the flap to your hut.
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matrixbearer2024 · 2 months
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Hi!!! I love your Get Off My Screen series so much! I was wondering if I could do a request for that?
Basically the idea is that Vox and the reader are just texting at night maybe and he lets something slip about something he misses from his old life on earth and because of that the reader remembers that the person they’ve been talking to for like over a year by now probably used to be alive and just spends the whole night learning everything they can about vox when he was alive (I imagine this would happen whilst vox was asleep and we’re just googling him) and then maybe I feel like we’d also google Alastor as a joke to see what all the fuss is about and then we find out that the person vox is ~~crushing~~ hating on is a serial killer and then just telling everything we learned when he wakes up.
Sorry if that’s really long I just fell like this is 100% what I would do in this situation
Old Times Gone By
Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader
A/N: I'm so glad you guys are requesting scenarios within the series, heck- I'm glad y'all enjoy it this much already hahaha! This is somewhat of an aftermath to the "You Could Do Better(With Me)" which is why it's not as cheery as the other chapters- but it's definitely not straight up angst. Just vulnerability and late night chatting between friends. Haha "friends"- And as always, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and happy reading!
A/N: Again, I kind of deviated from the prompt a little to better fit the narrative but Reader does know about Alastor and who he is because of Vox's ranting. They're aware that her demonic crush has a weird obsession with a cannibalistic radio serial killer deer dude and it's still not the weirdest thing he's done so far HAHAHAHA
If there was one thing Vox had to say he hated about drinking-
It had to be dealing with the hellish hangovers come morning.
Especially when he'd been wasted the night before.
A sharp jab in his side caused him to wake up this time.
He grunted, nearly falling off his chair when he shifted ever so slightly.
Huh-
Wait, why was he in here???
He could feel the migraine start to pound in his head.
Vox wasn't looking forward to today already.
When he tried to stand up, a clink of a bottle made him look down by his feet.
Picking it up to give the darn thing a once over, he scoffed.
He must have been absolutely hammered to have finished this yesterday.
It was a brand he despised the taste of too.
"Vox-? Oh, you're up."
His head whipped around so quickly once he heard your voice.
When had he even connected to your TV?
Not that he complained, he managed to see you sat up on the couch and stretching.
Your hair stuck up in odd positions and you even looked to be half-awake.
Why was that fucking cute???
"I- mhm. I guess I am. Was I... drinking yesterday?"
"I don't really know, I just knew you were drunk out of your mind last night. I can only see your face remember?"
"Ah... right."
Vox couldn't really bring himself to say much this time, not while he was still trying to grab the bits and pieces of his memory on yesterday's events.
Did he really wander into the monitor room just because he missed you?
That was low, even for him.
"Good morning anyhow, not that I think it would be if you're dealing with a hangover."
Vox just chuckled, watching you get up and disappear from the TV's view.
He wasn't in any mood to work at all, especially when he had a shitty headache to deal with too.
Eh, his empire could last a day without him.
He notified his secretary to just cancel all his duties and appointments for today, just ignoring their panic as you returned back into view.
"What are you holding?"
"Coffee."
"I thought you said you hated coffee?"
"Not hate, I just don't prefer it. But I need the caffeine to function today and I'd rather drink this bean juice than those energy drinks."
Vox wouldn't admit it, but talking to you again was already starting to make him feel a little better.
Especially after your noticeable absence.
He'd rather die again that outright say he missed you, his pride wouldn't allow it.
Cracking his joints, he just watched you sleepily stare up at him from where you sat on the couch.
Granted, it was probably because your TV was probably perched higher or on a shelf.
But Vox still thought you were kind of short.
Not that he had the right to say anything-
He was a 7ft tall giant compared to you.
"Again with the bean juice thing, and what's wrong with energy drinks?"
"They taste like straight up chemicals."
Vox just gave you a weird look when you rolled your eyes at him.
Still you just kept talking to him inbetween taking sips of your hot beverage.
"I'm not surprised you enjoy them, but your palate is probably shit."
"Oh you do not wanna go there-"
"What if I do huh? Watcha gonna do about it?"
Vox just grinned, you getting up to move closer to the screen as you challenged him.
The wide mischievous grin on your face mirrored his own and you both quickly devolved into just either bragging about exotic foods you've eaten-
Or straight up going for the jugular about each other.
"You eat McDonald's daily? I can't believe you'd feed yourself garbage Vox-"
"It's not garbage, and don't act like you've never eaten fast food."
"You are what you eat, I guess!"
"Ohoho! You bitch!"
Vox didn't seem to mind the numbing headache he felt when you were back to being your animated rambunctious self.
He wondered if it was because of the caffeine that made you all hyped up but he couldn't really bring himself to give a shit.
Not when he was still pretty tired.
It seems you noticed his retorts weren't making their usual mark though, and you crossed your arms over your chest while leaning towards the TV screen.
Vox just narrowed his eyes at you in confusion, what were you doing?
"You my good sir, need a hot cup of coffee more than I do. And freshen up while you're at it, I need to go take a shower too anyways."
You-
You did not just do what he think you did.
Were you actually mothering him??
Vox just rolled his eyes at your words, not really intending to go until he realized you weren't budging an inch either.
"Didn't you just say you needed to go clean up?"
"Not leaving till you are."
"Stubborn much?"
"Not that different from you, no."
The tech overlord laughed at your insistence, eventually relenting and disconnecting himself from your devices.
He stretched again when he got up from his chair, picking up the empty alcohol bottle near his feet not intending to clutter up or dirty his workspace.
Vox perked up when his phone buzzed though.
The darn thing catching his attention before he forgot it was there.
He checked on it with his free hand, chuckling when he realized it was just a message from you.
"Go and freshen yourself up, get a cup of coffee too while you're at it. I'll be back soon, kisses!"
You almost caused him to break his phone from the grip he had on it.
Kisses???
What the fuck was that supposed to mean?!
Vox seriously stood there staring at his phone for a good ten minutes just buffering and rebooting-
Dude is actually broken the second you do literally anything with vaguely romantic undertones.
Still he stomps all over his own hopes and feelings in fear of misinterpreting your friendliness.
Yeah, both of you were fucking clueless.
You stayed true to your word and did eventually come back after you'd cleaned yourself up.
Vox had just been waiting on your TV again and the screen brightened slightly upon noticing you.
It was a subconscious reaction, don't bring it up or he'll definitely throw a hissy fit.
So that's what you both did the whole day, talking and just catching up.
While Vox did mention you skipped classes for the day, you just shot back that he threw his work to the backburner as well.
Not that he bothered to refute it, instead just moving on with the conversation like normal.
Hours passed and time flew.
Before you knew it, the both of you were talking well into the evening.
"And that's kind of the reason why I think spaghetti is superior to penne."
"Doll, they're straight up just different kinds of pasta."
"The fact there's different kinds of pasta mean that people clearly can't decide on a superior noodle shape."
Yeaaah... your conversations kind of stopped making sense an hour ago.
Not that either of you minded, even laughing about some stupid thing way into the AM.
"So like- he thought he was really some hot shit taking on the leader of the exorcists but he got his ass absolutely handed to him!"
"Bro almost got turned into demonic venison HAHAHAHA!"
Though of course, late night conversations always went deeper than those normally held within the day.
"Say... Vox?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you miss being alive? With, ya know- talking to me and all."
Vox paused slightly, it's been a long time since he reminisced of his living days.
When was the last time he even did?
"Not necessarily, I miss some things but not a whole lot."
"Like what? When did you die???"
"Hm... I don't remember the exact date, but sometime in the fifties?"
Vox recoiled when you just gawked at his screen, why did you react like that?
"Holy shit! You're fucking ancient!"
"Haha... very funny doll, I'm not that old! I died in my thirties."
"Ehhhh? You're not much older than I am then. How??"
"Don't remember, it was a long long time ago."
You made a weird face at him, to which Vox just smiled and chuckled.
It was the same expression you wore when trying to figure things out.
As... weird and cute as it may be.
Then you suddenly yawned, causing the tech overlord to consequently do the same.
Something you poked fun at him for since when did TVs yawn apparently.
Rolling his eyes, Vox took a glance at his internal clock.
It was four in the morning?!
How long had you both been talking????
"Vox? You good?"
Apparently his bewilderment was evident on the screen, so he just switched his attention back to you.
Vox's screen glitched slightly when he was caught off guard by how close you got to the TV.
Almost all up in his face even.
"Y-Yeah, just zZst- fine. Say... Doll, do you know what time it is?"
"Uhhhh- no, not really- why?"
"It's four in the morning."
"And?"
"You need to sleep?"
You rolled your eyes and turned your back to the TV, plopping down on the couch with a pout.
"Hey."
You ignored him.
"Heeeeeey-"
Vox couldn't help but chortle from your antics, you really seemed like a grumpy child right now.
"Look dollface, I don't want the fun to end either but we've still got tomorrow."
"I don't wanna say goodnight. You're just going to disconnect when I do."
"What, you can't expect me to fall asleep hooked up to all your stuff again can you? My chair isn't the most comfortable place to fall asleep."
"Still!"
Vox rubbed his face with a sigh, he felt the inexplicable urge to just pinch your cheeks.
He would if he could but he didn't exactly have hands as a TV.
Why did you have to be so cute?
"How about this? I'll stick around until you pass out. You won't even notice I'm gone come morning."
"Fineeeeeee."
It didn't take too long for you to fall asleep on the couch.
Similarly to yesterday, you were just haphazardly sprawled across the furniture with a thin blanket to cover you.
Despite his words, Vox still stuck around for a while to make sure you were asleep.
You looked so serene while you rested, like you didn't have any worries.
The overlord let out a tired sigh, he'll just stick around for another five minutes.
Just a little longer in this peaceful moment with you.
Vox totally fell asleep in his chair again, he woke up that morning in an awkward position feeling more sore than ever too.
"Oh for fuck's sake-"
"MORNING VOXYYY!!!"
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dutchess-of-fear · 7 months
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My Sweet Siren
Every time I would just listen to old songs I always get some inspiration to write for Sanji I just don't know why!😅 anyway this is set during the Baratie and the reader is a singer there, anyway hope you enjoy! Certain things are changed to make it fitted in the story
Masterlist
Vinsmoke Sanji x Reader
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(Y/N) the most beautiful singer of the Baratie, to Sanji's eyes she's the best thing of the Baratie, it's the only time he enjoys being a waiter cause he could listen to her sing and be mesmerised by her beauty,
Whenever it was closing time he always wanted to talk to her, to be near her but she was always gone before he could talk to her.
You always enjoy singing, you love the attention that you got, but you loved the attention more when Sanji was watching you, butterflies begin to form in your stomach whenever you would see Sanji standing near the stage watching you give a performance of a lifetime,
Zeff sees the way you two would look at each other, and he often just rolled his eyes and scoff, he always thinks that it was completely ridiculous,
It was one of those nights when you were about to preform, as Sanji was arguing with Zeff once again, he stormed out of the kitchen pissed off but his anger quickly fade when he had seen you, looking beautiful as always about to preform,
Will I Always Be Your Sweetheart?
Will I Be The Girl For You?
Will You Promise All Your Love To Me
As I Promise Mine To You?
Sanji smiled as he walked up to a table with new guests that had come to the Baratie, "hello welcome to our shitty restaurant where the only thing is good is our singer, my name is Sanji what can I get you?"
As Sanji taking the new people's orders, you can't help but look over at him, as you sing your heart out, the green hair man took note of you looking over at Sanji and pointed it out at the waiter, "it seems she really likes you waiter?" He glared at him for a moment before glancing over seeing (Y/N) looking directly at Sanji,
Will I Always Be Your Sweetheart?
Starting Now Until The End?
Will You Always Stay Close By My Side,
And On You Can I Depend?
You winked at him, in which he smirk up at you before returning his focus on the guest telling them he will get their food right away, he walked passed you as you felt your cheeks go red when he smiled softly at you, completely entrance by you,
And As Time Goes On And On,
Will We Laugh And Still Have Fun?
Will You Ways Be Sweet As They Are,
And Will I Be Your Only One?
Sanji walked back from the kitchen with the food that is for the guest, they thanked him and he went to a corner near a the stage watching you sing, it has always been like this way, but Sanji really want to talk to you, but with this job takes so much of his time he could never get a chance to,
Will I Always Be Your Sweetheart,
Will We Share All Things In Life?
Will You Always Love Me Faithfully,
Will I Someday Be Your Wife?
Just then completely drunken Pirates started whistling and becoming rowdy, annoying Sanji very much, knowing when they get so rowdy like this, fights will start, (Y/N) knows this and started to feel uncomfortable but continued on singing the final lyrics knowing she must finish her song,
Will I Always Be Your Sweetheart,
Will We Share All Things In Life?
Will You Always Love Me Faithfully,
Will I Someday Be Your Wife?
Please Don't Ever Stop Loving Me,
Let's Be Sweethearts All Through Life!
"I'll be your sweetheart honey if you give me a chance" (Y/N) yelped when one of the pirates start grabbing her dress, Sanji ran up to the pirates kicked him so hard he landed ontop of a dinning table, breaking it completely in half,
"Do not touch the lady" he gritted his teeth looking at the other pirates to see who wants to go first, the man in the straw hat looked in surprise, "he is a good fighter"
Just then another pirate try to charge at Sanji, but he was no match against Sanji and his kicks, as the guy fall across the floor, holding his side in pain, "anyone else wants to face me?" The rest of the drunken pirates scatter away, carrying away the two injured men with them, Sanji looked up to you and got up on the stage, he had his hand around your waist and the other on the cheek softly caressing your cheek, "are you okay?" He whispered softly you replied with a smile and a nodded,
He was slightly relieved you were fine, placing a sweet kiss upon your head, just then Zeff called out as Sanji looked over to see him standing there next to the broken tables, "what's all this boy?" He shouted in anger, Sanji sighted in annoyances and (Y/N) couldn't help but giggled quickly planting a kiss on Sanji's lips, surprising him, "I'll wait for you at the kitchen tonight" and you quickly scurried away, passing the new guest,
"That Waiter sure is a good fighter miss" you looked over at the man in the straw hat smiling towards him, "well that's Sanji, he is the best fighter of the Baratie"
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purple-babygirl · 4 days
Text
in the far corner of the forest III
Pairing: Orc!Bucky Barnes x human!f!reader
Word Count: 6,540
Summary: For the longest time, the kingdom has used Bucky as their number one fighter, forcing him to win their wars for them. The only thing he asked for in return after he was done was that they give him a wife, and they did. They handed him the orphan he picked on a silver platter; it wasn't like anyone would miss her. It would've been perfect if she actually wanted to be there though.
Warnings: hand injury, mentions of blood, wound sutures/stitches, angry behaviour, jealousy, fighting, crying, racism against orcs. I think that's all.
A/N: this is the longest part yet because it might take me a while with part 4 depending on how the very important interview i have on the 17th goes. please send me good wishes on the stars if possible i would really appreciate it. And please enjoy this one and let me know what you thought if you can xx💜💜
~
“I got you something, little human,” Bucky said, his tone softer than it was that same afternoon as he scratched the back of his head.
He was new to courting, and it wasn’t exactly normal that he was courting his already-wife. Still, he was doing everything possible.
Bucky’s life has all been about fighting and wars. He didn’t do love or courtship. He didn’t do coddling or romancing. But there was a first time for everything and he was trying his best.
“Thank you,” she replied without looking up, pretending to be focused on folding laundry.
She was ignoring him.
Bucky had let his voice get loud a couple of hours ago after he had found her lost in the forest again. Only this time her foot was already messed up and she needed the rest, but she wouldn’t listen.
It hurt him how much pain she was willing to go through if it meant she could get away from him, but he wouldn’t let it show.
Instead, he yelled in frustration as he brought her back to their cottage.
She seemed like she wouldn’t quit, and so he wasn’t going to quit either.
Despite her constant rejection, Bucky refused to give up, his determination fueled by a newfound sense of purpose. He was willing to endure anything, face anything, if it meant earning even a glimmer of acceptance, or even affection, from her.
“You didn’t even see what I got you,” Bucky tried again, hoping she would at least look at him.
When she did, he gave a tiny smile and walked to the cottage door, bringing something inside.
“Here.” He dragged in a shiny wooden chair and placed it before his on their small dining table.
“You bought me a chair,” she said, pretending to be uninterested to hide the warmth that just spread throughout her heart.
“I made you a chair,” Bucky corrected, proudly palming the smooth wood, swiping his tongue over his tusks.
Bucky knew gifts were an essential part of courting and he didn’t like how she had to eat on the bed while he ate alone on the dining table because he only owned one chair.
He knew his days as a loner were long gone and it made his heart swell that he had her to share his house and life with now.
So he got to work and decided to make her her own chair out of an old oak tree. Being a lumberjack who had a woodworking shop had its perks after all.
It was going to be a weekend surprise, but he thought now was better timing after the fight they just had.
“You— you made this? From scratch?” She stood up in surprise, laundry forgotten for now.
“Yes.”
“For me?” She asked, not able to hide her emotions at the kind gesture anymore.
“Yeah,” Bucky chuckled, taking a step back so she could examine the chair.
She sat down and a big smile found its way on her lips when she looked up at Bucky. The chair was comfy and new and hers.
No one has ever gotten her anything, let alone made her something so beautiful. It was so special and a flood of emotions washed over her at the idea that someone had actually thought of her enough to make her a chair. That Bucky had made her a chair.
“Thank you,” she whispered, breaking eye contact so that she wouldn’t tear up.
Bucky only nodded in reply, internally celebrating the win with his heart doing backflips. She liked the chair.
She stood up and closed the small distance between her and the orc, getting on her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his cheek, “welcome home.”
She quickly put the clean laundry in its place in the closet and went to the kitchen to start dinner, leaving Bucky with the most idiotic smile on his face as he shifted back and forth on his feet like a teenager.
She was punishing him for yelling at her by not making dinner, but that chair and the effort behind it deserved a good meal.
~
She was cleaning up after dinner later that night when she heard Bucky moving stuff outside. She didn’t pay it much mind; it was his house after all.
“Come outside, little human,” his voice called for her and she tentatively stepped out of the kitchen.
Bucky was standing by the open cottage door, a hopeful smile on his face as he encouragingly nodded for her to come over to him.
She didn’t know what to think, but any chance not to stay cooped up inside the cottage was going to receive a yes from her.
It wasn’t like she was ungrateful. She was certainly thankful she had a roof over her head and warm walls that she could hide inside from the rain and the cold.
But again, her situation wasn’t the most ideal either. If it was up to her, she would have stayed at the orphanage with the rest of the girls because if her fate was drawn for her to be an isolated orc’s wife, she didn’t want to be married.
When she stepped outside, however, marriage and Bucky didn’t seem that bad for a second.
“I thought we could watch the stars now that the sky was clear,” Bucky explained, internally nervous that she might call him ridiculous and refuse to sit with him.
He had waited for a day without rain and laid out a thick blanket on the ground before their cottage, the way lit for her feet by a close by lantern he had put out.
She was enthralled, mouth open and breath stolen. Tears welled up in her eyes, a mixture of joy and disbelief engulfing her.
Bucky has even went as far as bringing out the shawl he had gotten her just in case she felt cold.
It was just like… a date.
Her heart raced and she smiled shyly at the orc, making him smile too as he watched her sit down on the blanket, holding her knees to her as she glanced up at the night sky nervously.
She has never been on a date before in her life, the town’s boys always picking other girls from the orphanage to fool around with, but never her. She was never really anyone’s type.
She slightly shook her head to shut down her insecure thoughts, knowing that none of those player town boys could have ever brought her on a date like this.
“Is the ground too cold?” Bucky asked as he draped her shawl over her shoulders.
She hugged the soft material around her body, smiling gratefully at the orc as she shook her head.
She was too shy to even speak at this point, her mind barely registering the amazingly romantic end to her day that Bucky had brought into existence.
Bucky then laid down on his back, wordlessly urging her to do the same.
She got on her back, eyes mesmerized by the sight of the stars. She has never seen so many before, her view from her room’s window at the orphanage was very limited.
It was different here in the middle of the woods because there were no town lights to take the view away from the sky and it was gorgeous.
“So beautiful,” she whispered with a smile, observing how the stars sparkled above them.
“Yes, the most beautiful,” Bucky whispered back, watching her as she watched the sky.
He wished she could one day look at him the same way she was looking at those stars; the same way he was looking at her.
In his eyes, there was a mix of determination and yearning, reflecting his unwavering commitment to win her heart despite her initial reluctance. Bucky’s gaze lingered on her, drinking in every detail as if he couldn’t believe she was really here, right next to him.
She turned her eyes to him, her shy smile widening, “thank you for this, Bucky.”
Gods, the way she said his name was something else.
“You’re welcome, sweet thing.” Bucky smiled back, turning his eyes back to the sky as to not make her uncomfortable under his stare.
As they silently continued stargazing, she felt her heart become lighter. She felt so serene, so content, and she had suddenly forgiven Bucky for raising his voice at her just hours ago, wanting nothing but for this peacefulness to last for as long as possible.
Was it imaginable for marriage to be this good? Could her life finally be turning around?
She couldn’t help but want to see Bucky in a different light in this very moment.
She knew that he was harsh sometimes, but she also knew that she wasn’t making it easy for him either.
Maybe she didn’t choose him and didn’t choose this marriage, but Bucky was trying with real effort and she wasn’t blind to it.
Bucky cared for her when she was sick. He provided for her. He brought her gifts, filled up her half of the closet for her with anything and everything she could need. And he, most importantly, apologized when he was in the wrong, which wasn’t something common for the human males of this kingdom. He also respected her boundaries and hadn’t tried touching her after their first night together.
Could this all be preparation for the purpose of bedding?
No, it couldn’t be. Bucky didn’t need to do this to get her in his bed. He had already had her there and he had willingly let her go. He could have his way with her anytime if he really wanted to.
She wanted to believe that this moment was real so bad. She wanted to believe that Bucky was trying to win her heart.
So she did.
And if Bucky was trying, she was going to start trying too.
She knew just the thing to do actually.
She was going to make Bucky strawberry jam tomorrow to show him how grateful she was.
She might have not much to offer, but she knew she made the most delicious fruit jams and marmalades. It was her specialty at the orphanage. All the other girls always managed to ruin the jams, adding too much or too little sugar, applying too much heat or not enough, eventually producing something inedible. But not her. No, that was one thing she knew with her whole heart that she was good at.
She might’ve not been the prettiest of the girls, but she deserved a good life and she was now determined to build one. With Bucky.
She wasn’t in love with him, she knew that, but she didn’t need love to have a good marriage. Respect and effort were going to be enough.
This marriage could be her chance at building a life worth living.
“Could you bring home some strawberries tomorrow?”
~
“Oh my gods, this is amazing!” Bucky exclaimed, sliding another spoonful of strawberry jam in his mouth.
“I’m happy you like it,” she replied proudly, a smile plastered on her timid features as she brought a basket of sliced bread to the table.
It felt so good to have someone other than the orphanage girls taste her hand’s making. Receiving Bucky’s praise felt so much different than all the compliments she’s ever received before.
It felt… way better.
“It’s really good, little human.” Bucky was too busy adding jam on the piece of bread in his hand, groaning as he slipped it into his mouth and chewed, “how much of this did you make?”
She laughed, “well, I wanted to start with a small pot because I didn’t know if you liked jam and I didn’t wanna throw out any of it, but we have enough if you finish this and want more!”
“None of this is getting thrown out, little human,” Bucky told her seriously, “I asked because I wanted to take some to Sarah. She has a sweet tooth and she would love this.”
A frown quickly replaced her smile at the mention of another female’s name. She suddenly felt like wanting to take the bowl of jam away from the orc. Hell, she felt like she wanted to get back the jam he had already ate and swallowed.
“Who’s Sarah?” She asked, trying to act nonchalant as she greased her bread with some jam.
“She’s Sam’s sister,” Bucky answered innocently, oblivious to the way she hummed with her jaw clenched.
“And who’s Sam?”
“Oh, right, you don’t know Sam. He’s my best friend; and my partner in the shop. Great guy,” Bucky told her, more interested in the jam than her reaction.
At least Sam was a male.
So just to be clear, Bucky wanted to take the jam she made to his best friend’s sister so she could have a taste and satisfy her sweet tooth? Yeah, she didn’t like that very much.
“Is she, like, married?” She wondered, trying hard not to show her anger.
“Who?” Bucky asked, chewing the bite in his mouth, the foreign question finally gaining his attention.
“Sweet tooth Sarah,” she answered with a somewhat bitter tone that Bucky has never heard before, her thumb swiping under his plump lips before she could stop herself as she harshly wiped away jam from the orc’s face.
The realization as to why her mood had suddenly turned sour made Bucky smile as he hurriedly swallowed his food, “little human,”
She looked up at him with a silent glare.
Despite her efforts to appear unaffected, there was a vulnerability in her eyes, a hint of insecurity betraying her true feelings
“Are you… jealous?”
Bucky’s amused smile made her even angrier as she watched his lips literally twitching.
Jealous? Pfft, of course not! Why would she be jealous!
“No!” She replied aloud defensively, “it was just a question.” She stood up, collecting the plates from the table without asking if Bucky was done eating.
“Hey, that’s mine!” Bucky laughed, holding onto the small bowl of jam.
“Try to save some for your Sarah,” she snapped, snatching her hand from the orc’s as she let him have the bowl.
Bucky raised an eyebrow at her surprising reaction, his widening smile still glued to his face.
She frustratingly sped to the kitchen, violently twisting the water tab open as she rolled her sleeves up and started washing the things in the sink.
She had went through all this trouble and used all of these bowls that she now had to wash just for him to want to take her jam to another female to eat.
Who did he think he was?
It was her fault for trying to do something nice in the first place.
He didn’t even answer her question, and that Sarah was probably unmarried. She was probably an orc too. Yeah, it made sense that Bucky would be attracted to someone similar to him. Those two ‘friends’ were probably part of his clan.
The clan he never introduced her to.
How naive was she to think this marriage could actually work?
Bucky was outside still smiling to himself like a fool as he finished the rest of her sweet jam.
She was jealous. She was jealous over him.
He didn’t want to upset her though, so he didn’t say anything, letting her calm down first.
He took the empty bowl to her, setting it in the sink as she avoided looking at him.
She heard him chuckle as he left the kitchen and it made her punch the sponge in her hand inside the bowl, pounding it angrily as she ‘washed’ it clean.
When she was done cleaning the kitchen and brushing her teeth, she stomped out to the bed, getting in and covering herself from head to toe as she gave Bucky her back.
Bucky walked to the lanterns and dimmed their lights before joining her in bed.
He laid on his back, innocently waiting for his good night’s kiss.
A minute passed. 2 minutes. 5 minutes. The kiss didn’t come.
“Hey,” Bucky whispered as not to startle her in the dark, “we had a deal. Where’s my kiss?” He put a hopeful hand on her shoulder, trying to twist her to face him.
“Have Sarah give you your kiss,” she replied with a deadpan tone, masking her fury as she pushed her pillow over her head, shrugging Bucky’s touch off her body.
Bucky stared at the back turned to him with an open mouth as he took his hand away and laid back, disappointment replacing his surprise and filling him up.
It was the first time since she had started feeling well again that she has refused to give him any of his kisses. Yet, respectful of her feelings, Bucky let her.
Maybe making her jealous wasn’t all that fun after all. But he didn’t even mean to make her jealous, he was just talking!
Bucky sighed, turning on his side as well as he fell asleep staring at the hidden back of her head.
~
The next morning as she put his breakfast on the table, she didn’t sit or eat with him, preferring to scrub the kitchen sink while Bucky ate even though she had just washed it the night before.
She didn’t give him his good morning kiss either; didn’t even speak to him.
She was still mad at him. This was serious for her, he realized.
Bucky might have found it fun last night, but today as she deliberately ignored his existence, he wanted nothing but to make her understand that what was in her head was nothing like the truth.
“Here, I packed jam for your sweet tooth Sarah,” she said harshly as she set a small jar of strawberry jam on the table before him.
“She’s not my—”
“Hope she likes it,” she cut him off, disappearing into the kitchen again.
Bucky sighed aloud, running a hand over his face as he stood up. Grabbing the jam, he took one look at the kitchen entrance before leaving the house for work with a clenched jaw.
She peeked outside when she heard the door shut to see the table empty. Bucky had taken the jar to Sarah.
Oh, that was it.
She could take being given to an orc against her will. She could take never having been chosen or given the chance to choose. She could take not being loved.
But she couldn’t and wouldn’t take being cheated on.
Was that why Bucky had decided to relieve her off her wifely duties in bed? Because he had another female? Was it because he had someone else to keep him warm and wet where he needed to be?
She couldn’t even think about the idea without feeling herself gag.
Why would he ruin her life by bringing her here when he already had that Sarah?!
How could she be so dumb, trying to meet him in the middle like that? Starting a peaceful life with this orc was never going to work!
She tried to pick the lock on the door like she usually would, but the new lock Bucky had put in wouldn’t budge.
She groaned in frustration before hauling herself up and out of the cottage window, running off to gods know where, hoping that luck would be her friend for once and maybe lead her somewhere out of these woods for good this time.
This marriage ends today.
~
Back at the shop, Bucky was as exasperated as they come as he used his chisel to shape the rough piece of wood in his hand.
After everything he was doing, how could she think that he had someone else? What was he doing wrong? What was missing?
Bucky had only ever wanted her. He thought he was the luckiest orc just because he got to fall asleep next to her every night.
How could he make her see that?
As his mind ran with thoughts and before Bucky could stop it, the chisel slipped and sharply cut the inside of his palm.
“Gods, fuck!” He shouted in pain as blood started flowing from the fresh wound.
Bucky tried to get the chisel from the floor so that no one would step on it, but his hand hurt more when he tried to squeeze his fist around the item. He grabbed it with his metal hand instead, rushing to the supply closet to find a clean towel to wrap around his cut.
He couldn’t continue working like that; couldn’t do anything with his hand.
Sam insisted on sending for his sister after seeing the amount of blood staining the cloth around Bucky’s hand.
Sarah tried to be efficient while messily stitching the wound as best as she could, wrapping it up carefully with gauze before advising Bucky to take a few days off work until his hand was healed. She was no doctor but she did her best for her friend.
Bucky thanked both siblings, giving Sarah the jam jar before leaving to go back home as his friends insisted.
He thought that his day couldn’t get any worse, but then he opened the cottage door to find the place empty and he could all but forget about his injury as he slammed his fist against the wall, crying out in anger. If his wound had started bleeding again, Bucky didn’t care.
~
“What the hell did you think you were doing out there again?!”
Bucky was enraged. He had found her wandering around the forest, as lost and as stubborn as ever.
“Getting as far away from you as possible.” She crossed her arms, her stare upset and unbending.
“And going where exactly!” He shouted, the idea of her spending the night inside a cold cave clawing at his back.
“Anywhere but here!” She yelled back, her face so hot she could feel sweat forming on her hairline in the middle of winter.
“It’s going to snow soon! Do you wanna get sick again?” Bucky held her by the arm, not too roughly as he didn’t really want to cause any real damage.
Neither of them noticed his blood staining her clothes.
She was too infuriated to notice Bucky’s hand wrapped in gauze. She saw nothing but red.
“I don’t care. I just don’t wanna be with you!” She retorted, snatching her arm out of his hold and pushing at his chest.
Though he didn’t move, her touch too weak to do anything to his colossal body, Bucky was hurt.
“Are you doing all of this just because of a little jealousy? Gods, human females are just—” Bucky shook his head in frustration.
“Jealousy? Hah! You think I’m jealous?” She faked a laugh, “this is not even a real marriage! What’s there for me to be jealous over?!” She continued raising her voice, the mention of her jealousy provoking her further.
Her words hurt Bucky more, the real gash now slashed across his heart.
Not even a real marriage.
Despite everything he was doing and trying, she still didn’t consider their marriage a real marriage.
“Well, do you wanna make it real, little human?” Bucky growled lowly, bringing her closer to his heaving chest by her arm, painting the sleeve of her dress in more of his blood.
Her heart thrummed in her ears at the proximity, her breath trembling as she imagined what the orc could do to her if he only wanted to.
“Let go of me,” she whispered as tears clouded her vision, hoping he wouldn’t be able to hear how scared she was in her voice.
Bucky complied, hating how nervous she got in the span of a second.
She ran to the kitchen at once, a hand on her chest as she felt her heart trying to escape her ribcage.
What an audacious orc! He was already with someone else and he dared threaten her with taking her to bed?! Damn, she was so stupid to think they could make something good out of this marriage. So stupid.
Bucky took a seat on the bed, face in his metal hand as he tried to gather his thoughts.
He had almost lost her for the millionth time today.
Was it going to be like this forever? What could he do to make it stop? How could he show her that this life with her was all he ever wanted? That he never wanted anybody else?
“You’re not gonna eat with me?” He asked when he saw her slam one bowl of rice on the table.
“I’m not hungry,” she replied curtly, her eyes on the ground and her jaw tense as she waited for him to get off the bed.
Bucky moved away understandably, taking a seat on the dining table instead as she climbed in bed, burying herself under the covers and hiding away from him.
Bucky knew she wasn’t asleep and he needed to talk to her; or at least see her face.
How was he supposed to have an appetite to eat if she wasn’t on the table with him, her beautiful eyes facing him and her shy smile greeting him every time he would moan over the taste of her delicious food?
“Hey.”
She felt the bed dip next to her as it took on Bucky’s body, his warm hand on her shoulder just like last night.
“Let your sweet tooth Sarah give you a kiss,” she spoke before he could say anything.
“This is not about the kiss. And She’s not my Sarah,” Bucky told her, turning her on her back so she could see his sincere face and hopefully believe him, “she’s not my anything. She’s just a good friend.”
She snorted, not buying it as she turned back to face the wall.
Bucky brought her back to him again, “she’s not married. She’s a widow, who is loyal to the memory of her husband, with two kids that are her whole world.” Bucky answered her earlier question, not wanting to hide anything from her.
“That’s none of my business.” She pretended to be uninterested, giving him the cold shoulder for the third time as she turned away, covering her head with the blanket.
Deep inside, she knew she was relieved to know that Sarah wasn’t interested though.
“It is your business,” Bucky sighed, taking the blanket away from her hands, making her look at him again, “it is your business when you think I’m involved with her.”
“You can do whatever you want.” She shrugged, acting indifferent, making Bucky more frustrated.
He released a loud exhale, “you’re what I want, little human.”
She remained silent, not expecting the orc’s patience or this admittance.
He had told her he wanted her before, but that was on their ‘wedding night’ when he had forced her to get completely naked for him.
This one was different. It sounded different and felt different.
“You don’t have to say all these things. We both know how this marriage came to be a thing.” She tried her best to hold her tears in.
“How did it come to be a thing?” Bucky wanted to see inside her head.
“How?” She sat up, her voice loud yet wobbly with emotions, “they gave you an orphaned girl you didn’t get to see or pick beforehand to make up for making you go to war for them, that’s how!” She felt bad for him, but even more for herself.
So she had read the contracts.
“Who told you I didn’t get to see or pick you?” Bucky swallowed.
“What do you mean?!”
“I’ve seen you before, little human. More than once. And I asked for you to be my wife instead of the noble man’s daughter I was originally offered.” Bucky came clean about the truth behind their arranged marriage.
“You what?!” She became even angrier.
He did this? She was here now because of him?!
“I willingly picked you, little human.”
“Why! Why me! Did you ever stop to think that I might not want this? Or you?!” She practically screamed in anger.
Who was he to decide her future for her? Why didn’t he just take the nobleman’s daughter!
“I did. But you were the only human female who has ever caught my attention. I couldn’t take my eyes off you every time I won a glimpse.” Bucky confessed, his light grey skin gaining a tint at the cheeks as he bared his heart to her, “I knew I couldn’t continue if I didn’t have you, little human.”
Won a glimpse
Couldn’t continue if I didn’t have you
No one has ever used such words to describe an act so normal as looking at her. No one had ever wanted or needed her. Why was her heartbeat speeding up? What was that orc doing to her?
“The minute you entered my cottage, you became my one and only. I don’t want anyone but you.” He promised, squeezing her smaller hand in his, “I will live and die loyal to you, little human.”
She knew he was telling the truth because she had heard the stories. Loyalty was very important to orcs and their mates were for life.
She just stared at Bucky, words stolen from her throat by the way he was looking at her.
No one has ever looked at her like that. Like she was the most beautiful thing they could see. Like she was the only girl in the world. Like she was the only one with any sort of control over this orc’s mind and heart.
“When I suggested gifting Sarah some jam, I was only thinking of doing something nice for a friend.”
She listened with a frown, a little angry again at the mention of the other female’s name.
“If it wasn’t for Sam and Sarah and the boys, I wouldn’t have survived a lot of things. They are my only friends and the only ones I can share nice things with.”
“The only ones?” She pouted, turning her face to the dining table in discontent.
“That’s not what I meant! I just— I’m not used to saying such things, but—” Bucky took a deep breath, squeezing her smaller hand closer, “I was so proud of you being my wife and knowing how to make such delicious things that I wanted the important ones in my life to share it with me…”
Bucky didn’t have to know, but those words were everything to her because when she thought about it, no one has ever been proud to know or have her. No one has ever been proud of her for anything.
But Bucky was, and he wanted to show her off.
When she looked back at the orc, he was staring at the blanket covering her thighs, doubtful to meet her gaze.
Bucky looked… nervous, if you will.
She smiled, eyes tearing up despite herself as she waited for him to look back at her.
When he did, Bucky was instantly smiling back at the sight of her grin. That smile was the whole world for him; it sent him up on cloud nine.
“Have dinner with me?” He asked, his metal thumb wiping away a stray tear from the corner of her eye.
She nodded, her smile bigger as she got up and walked to the kitchen to make herself a plate, her heart going a hundred miles per minute as she couldn’t make her smile leave her face.
She wanted to be angrier over the fact that he got to choose and she didn’t, but then again, if she was being honest with herself, she probably could have never dreamt up a husband as good as Bucky was to her if she tried.
She believed that everything happened for a reason and she was too dreamy not to imagine that this whole marriage had to happen exactly the way it did just for her to meet this orc, and maybe, against all odds, have her happy ending with him.
Taking the lid off of the rice pot, she finally saw it: her palm covered in fresh blood.
“Oh gods!” She quickly washed her hand under the water, seeing and feeling no injuries, the realization that it must be Bucky’s blood sent a pang to her chest.
“Bucky?” Tears blurred her vision as she found the orc in the bathroom, trying and failing to remove the wrapping around his right palm with his left one.
She had been forced into this marriage, a union she never agreed to, but as she watched him struggle to tend to his wound, something inside her softened.
How did she not notice that he had come home with a covered up hand?
“Are you okay?!” Bucky asked, troubled to see her crying even when he was the one bleeding above his bathroom sink.
Her heart clenched at the sight; at the care in his cerulean eyes, “what happened to you?”
She sped up to get the first-aid box from him, getting out everything she was going to need as she looked at his bloody palm.
“It’s nothing, sweet thing,” Bucky told her softly, hating the look of anxiety on her precious face even if it was for him; even if it was making him feel all sorts of things, “just a scratch, really. Nothing I can’t handle”.
She tenderly finished unwrapping his hand, gasping as she saw the bleeding gash across it, “this doesn’t look like nothing!” She cried, more tears streaming down her face, “how did you get this?”
“I just hurt myself while working…” Bucky’s metal hand hesitantly pat her shoulder.
“Bucky.” She looked up at him, not believing that that was the only reason because the wound seemed to be loosely stitched and it was obvious that something had happened to make the wound bleed after it had been stitched.
“And I might have punched the wall when I came home and didn’t find you,” Bucky mumbled lowly, not wanting to make her feel bad.
It was just a silly scrape compared to what he had to endure back when he was still fighting wars, really.
“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed into the back of her hand, feeling terrible for all the things she has been putting him through ever since she came here.
“Hey, I’m okay.” Bucky’s metal hand cupped her cheek, his smooth thumb sliding across to wipe her tears.
“No, you’re not.” She shook her head in deep regret, not believing that he was still the one reassuring her in such a state.
“I am, I swear on our marriage.” Bucky wiped under her eyes patiently, caring about nothing but her heart carrying no burdens.
She was speechless because did Bucky just use their marriage to swear? Was it really that important to him that he would swear on it?
She didn’t care that this was an arranged marriage in possibly the most twisted of ways, a woman knew love when she encountered it and that orc’s eyes were showing nothing but pure love.
In the middle of her heart’s longing for a person to care about her, she couldn’t bring herself to step on Bucky’s. Trying to calm her down when he was the one injured and dripping blood? Yeah, that was an orc worth trying, caring and staying for.
“I’m— I’m gonna need to redo the stitches, is that okay?” She sniffled, relaxing herself as she wordlessly promised those concerned blue eyes to give them and this marriage her all.
“Yes.” Bucky smiled when he saw her wipe her tears away and the smile she gave him back made his heart soar.
“It might hurt a little, but just for a short bit, okay?”
Bucky nodded, not believing how delicately she was handling his huge hand with her smaller ones.
He was glad she never had to witness him back then or the actually deadly injuries he had had inflicted on him during wars. He wouldn’t have been able to take that look of fear in her eyes after every fight.
“Who did those sloppy stitches anyway?” She wondered in dissatisfaction with the work and Bucky swallowed hard.
She looked at him knowingly when he remained silent, “it was sweet tooth Sarah, wasn’t it?” She asked with half a smile as she started cautiously taking out the old stitches with the tweezers.
“Yes.” Bucky nodded sheepishly, “but Sam only called for her help because they don’t offer me help in the kingdom’s infirmaries.”
“What?!” Her head snapped up angrily.
They don’t offer him service at the infirmaries?! After all that he had done for this kingdom?
“I’m no longer a soldier of their own so…” Bucky shrugged with a sad smile.
Her expression went from angry to devastated to angry again in less than a second, “this is gonna sting a little.” She warned as she disposed of the old sutures in the bin.
“Don’t be upset, little human.”
She looked up, not knowing what to say or how to apologize to the orc about the terrible treatment of this kingdom’s people, but his smile told her that everything was going to be all right. She couldn’t help but smile back.
Her eyes swayed between his palm and his face as she started disinfecting the wound with the piece of sterilized cotton in her hand.
Bucky hissed and winced, making her stop at once.
“I’m sorry! I’m so so—”
“Ha, fooled ya! It’s not that bad,” Bucky laughed, amused at her reaction, instantly earning himself a slap on his shoulder with the back of her hand.
“Hey, you can’t do that to the injured!” Bucky whined playfully.
“Can’t I?” She teased, biting her smile back.
He smiled wider because she could.
Oh, she could do anything to him and he would take it with a smile and thank her for it.
For a heartbeat, the world around Bucky seemed to blur as he focused solely on her, engraving every detail of her smile into his memory. It was a sight he never wanted to forget, a ray of light in the darkness that had clouded his years for so long.
Everything was going to be okay, Bucky thought as he brought her to his chest with his metal arm, praying to the gods she wouldn’t pull away.
“I’m— I’m almost done,” she muttered coyly, trying to make him let her go so she could finish tending to his injury.
But then she felt it: her husband’s tusks were pressing gently on her scalp as Bucky kissed her hair.
Her breath caught in her throat, a mixture of surprise and tenderness washing over her as she felt herself wanting to stay longer inside his embrace.
“Thank you, little human,” he whispered lovingly.
As she tilted her head slightly to meet Bucky’s captivating eyes, she found herself lost in the depths of their oceans, catching a vulnerability she hadn't noticed before.
She looked deeper and she realized that beneath his rugged exterior lied a heart capable of great tenderness, a heart that might just beat for her and her alone.
She beamed again as she softly replied, “you’re welcome, Bucky.”
Yeah, they were going to be okay.
~
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babsisbakery · 6 months
Text
Drowning to swimming
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Since she left you, you don’t feel much when you are alone except for sadness. With friends it’s a different story, you are your old self again, no pretending, they are just the balsam to your soul. When you return home tho, doing absolutely nothing, nothing can stop your brain from activating your deepest and most depressing emotions. Thinking what you lost. That you haven’t been loved as you deserve. So, your tears fall. Letting them all out. It’s a literal waterfall, your dam broke and its drowning you. Your own despair is crushing you. Self-destruction from inside. When you stop crying and wipe your tears away you become numb. Until your brain starts to work. Reminiscing of the one who left you. She is the reason why you are now just a shallow version of your old self. All of this starts the cycle yet again. Cry. Numbness. Thinking. Repeat. After a while you manage to stop. Distracting yourself with re-watching matches, sadly you can’t bear to watch hers anymore, training and watching dumb series you know won’t bring you further or mental relief.
You would have done anything for her. Sadly, it seems like she didn’t appreciate and value that enough. Misunderstanding lead to an argument which you didn’t understand. But you can’t change that. At the end she saw you as the villain in the story. Her friends probably played into this but who are you to judge. They didn’t know you. They only assumed. You hoped they just wanted the best in their friend whom you loved but misjudged your character. You couldn’t see her as a villain though. She was your moon, the light to guide you through darkness. You still wished her the best, you still wanted her in your life, just as friends but more than getting nothing of her. The pain she caused seemed to decrease but every time you thought you were over her you still imagined yourself in her presence, in her life.
Your teammates tried to get you out of your self-installed prison but they can’t. They aren’t her. Only she could. Giving you the much-needed closure. No hurtful words exchanged moreover finally words from one former lover to another.
Now most days your thoughts were free from the ex. And you let yourself feel again. Trying to build a door into the high walls around your heart. So, it wasn’t too complicated for others to get to know you. You’ve never opened up fully to her, but it was the most you’ve ever had, in feat of hurting her by speaking of your own emotions. Because you once did it and making her cry was never something you wanted to repeat. Her puffy eyes, which filled your heart with sorrow. You once believed Alessia to be your person, your other half. The one that got away. But it all changed. When you met the girl of your dreams, Alessia didn’t stand a chance in your thoughts anymore.
She was more mature. She was the support system you needed after being everybody else’s. Leah Williamson is not the girl but the woman of your dreams. Not girlfriend material but a wifey. The person who wouldn’t back away, she stood by you. Your true saviour. You’ve found your personal hero. She is the one who treats you as if you’re her princesa, her world. She brought light back into your darkness. Without her you wouldn’t have two beautiful little twin girls running around in your shared home. Now you’d do anything to protect your precious little family, your three girls. That’s how you went from drowning to being able to swim again.
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scribblesofagoonerr · 2 months
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For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you | Inner Demons
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⟫ Alphabet Challenge, F - For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you
Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader
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Hello, I'm back with part 6. Sorry it's been a bit of a wait, life gets in the way and makes it hard to write, but here's the next part. I honestly don't know how many chapters this will have because I'm really enjoying writing it, so hey ho, I might even just make this one small fic series of many ideas' I currently have in my head :)
I don't know if this chapter does make much sense at all and non of it's been proof read again, so it could be a bit all over the place but please let me know what you think!
Thank you for all the ongoing support so far, it's overwhelming to see how much that you all love this, and it gives me motivation to continue to write!
My asks are open for anyone to drop me an any ideas' on this fic or anything else that people would like to see be written, however, I am only comfortable writing anything platonic though :)
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You're progressing well to get better and you're slowly returning to usual happy, self chaotic self.
TW: angst and mentions of SH, MH, suicide and death.
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"So, what's the food in this place like then?" Kyra broke the silence in the room, where all the girls were all crowded in as they came to visit you in the pysch ward of the hospital during the visiting hours.
It had been 46 hours since you had been detained, 46 hours since you all but shouted at Leah that you hated her.
You really did regret it.
You didn't actually mean that though, and you had been feeling terrible about it ever since the words escaped your mouth.
"Seriously, Kyra?" Steph stares at the younger Australian in disbelief.
"What? I'm just trying to make conversation here" Kyra replies, shrugging her shoulders.
Caitlin can't help but snort. "And you decide to start with asking what the foods' like?" she teases the twenty-one-year-old.
"Yeah, cos' I've heard that hopsital food is disgusting and all" Kyra remarks to the older girl, sticking her tongue out at her.
"Very mature" Steph rolls her eyes at the two of them.
"So, what is the food like then?" Vic asks, peeking interest to know the answer.
"Terrible, I think that even Leahs' cooking might be better than what they're serving on the menu here" You can't help but grin cheekily.
"Ouch it must be bad then" Beth joins in with the joke.
"You'd better not let her hear you say outloud or I think she'd been offended" Viv tells you as she can't help but smile slightly, just happy to see you slowly returning to your old self.
"So, she didn't come with you guys then?" You ask as you pull at the sleeves of the hoodie you currently had on.
You don't miss the look that all the girls share with one another. You weren't an idiot to know something was going on.
"Just tell me what's going on" You stare at them all, trying to get an answer out of them.
"She's outside in the waiting room with Lia" Jen admits, exhaling a sigh.
"Oh" Your smile falters at the disappointing news.
"She wanted to come in with us Y/N but it was hard for her" Beth explains on behlf of the blonde, who you miss terribley. "I'm sure when she's ready, she'll come and see you" she adds, trying to keep the hope alive.
You really had messed up with what you said, you doubt that she would want to visit you, nor would she want you to come back to the flat where you lived with her.
"Oh uh, well then that's okay I guess, I mean I don't blame her for not coming cos' what I said was horrible and stuff" You make up an excuse as you find sudden interest with the floor beneath you.
"It's not your fault for being angry, Y/N" Katie pats you on the shoulder.
"How're you feeling now?" Alessia asks, concerned as a way to try and change the subject.
"Is this your way of subtly asking me if I'm going to try and attempt to kill myself again?" You glance around at all of the girls' faces in the room.
"Y/N" Kim shoots you a disapproving look.
"The answers no by the way" You mumble quietly.
"Y/N" Kim repeats again, a bit louder.
"What? You know I like to make dark humour jokes in this type of situation. It's just a coping mechanism" You tell your captain as you hold your hands up in mock-surrender, who continues to look at you with a certain look that makes you back down straightaway. "Alright, okay, I'll tone it down with the death jokes" You mumble, slouching further down in your seat.
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"How's she been doing?" Leah stands in the reception area of the hospital and fumbles with her hands, as she speaks to one of the doctors.
"Y/N has making good progress. I think another day or so and she'll be ready to come home" The doctor explains with a kind smile.
"That's great news" Lia says, smiling as she glances at the blonde for her reaction.
Leahs' eyes widen in surprise and smiles slightly. "Yeah, that's good to hear. I'm proud of her making so much progress in such a short space of time" she tells the doctor.
"It is, Y/N/N has really thrown herself into trying to get better, the therapy sessions seem to be going well too" The doctor tells them honestly. "Are you going to go and see her? I'm sure that she'd love to see you" she adds.
The blondes feels apprehensive, her eyes dart over in the direction of where the doors led to the psych ward, where you would be with the rest of the girls that had all visited.
Leah had wanted to as well, she just couldn't find the courage to actually take the steps and dipped out at the last minute.
"I hate you, Leah" The words that you shouted at her, played in her head on a constant loop.
"Uh, I don't know about that. I'm not sure if she's going to want to see me" Leah confesses, shoving her hands in her pockets.
"Le, you don't know that" Lia squeezes the blondes' shoulder gently as she tries to reassure her.
"I know that she hates me, Wally. You heard what she said before" Leah replies quietly, shaking her head as she takes another glance towards the doors.
"You know that she didn't mean that, Le. You know she is just a kid with a lot of feelings sometimes" Lia tells the blonde, smiling at her.
Leah looks a bit more apprehensive as she shakes her head. "There was so much hatred in her voice when she said, it felt like she did mean it" she disagrees with her.
"She was angry the other day though, Le and you even said that yourself" Lia reminds the younger girl.
Leah hums as she bites her bottom lip "But what if she doesn't want to see me? I know she's going to be angry with me for leaving her here in this place" she admits to the older girl.
"She's been asking for you every day since she has been here" The doctor pipes in, gently smiling at the two girls.
"Really?" Leah asks, blinking in slight surprise.
"Yes, Y/N has told me about the visits from all of the girls but the only person she mentioned that she actually wants to see is you, Leah" The doctor tells the blonde.
"See?" Lia smiles at Leah and sqeeuzes her shoulder. "I told you that I don't think Y/N could ever hate you or be angry, you know that, Le" she insists.
"I know" Leah bites her bottom lip anxiously, taking another glance at the door ahead. "I just can't help but feel horrible for making the decision and I'm weary incase she resents me for it" she admits, quietly.
The doctor frowns at them both. "I know it must have been hard to be the one to make that call but it was for the right one to give her the best possible chance to get better" They explain.
"You shouldn't be blaming yourself for this, Le. It's what was needed" Lia repeats the doctors words, so to speak.
"Yeah, yeah I know" Leah admits, pulling at the sleeves of her hoodie that she had on.
"You're nervous to see her?" The doctor asks, making the brief observation.
Leah can't help but snort slightly. "That obvious?" she jokes.
"I've been in this job for a while now, it's easy enough to pick up on things like this" The doctor chuckles amusedly. "Regardless of what may have been said, I have a feeling that Y/N will be happy enough to see you" They add in.
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"SNAP" You scream loudly as you slam your hand down on the deck of cards that are on the table. "HA! I win!" You cheer in glee.
Kyra let's out a irritated huff while she glares at you. "Why are you so vicious with this game?" she asks.
"I want to win" You smirk and stick your tongue out at her, pulling the deck of cards towards you.
"Kyra, you're literally losing a child" Vic chips in, watching the game amusedly.
"Said child is a menace" Kyra mumbles as she pouts.
"Sucks to be a loser" You can't help but quip as you reshuffle the deck of cards in your hand.
"Room for a couple more visitors?" Leah pokes her head round the door and braces herself for your initial reaction to seeing her.
"LE!" You dart up from your seat and run to the blonde, abandoning the game of cards completely.
All feelings of anger had been swept aside as you were just happy to see her in the room. You thought you'd blown it when you told her that you hated her.
"Hi bubs" Leah instantly embraces you in her arms and kisses the top of your hair. "I've missed you, Y/N/N. I'm so sorry I haven't been to visit you" she apologises.
"S' okay, you're here now" You mumble, burying her head in her chest as you refuse to let go off her.
"Oi I'm here too, you know" Lia jokes playfully, knowing that you would want that moment with just the blonde.
"Yeah, yeah. Hi Wally" You grin cheekily at the older girl before you turn back towards the older blonde girl. "I'm sorry for what I said cos' I didn't mean what I said about hating you, I was angry and upset and I really don't hate you I promise!" You tell her honestly.
"It's okay bubs, I know you were upset and didn't mean it" Leah smiles as she squeezes you a bit more tighter than before, being careful in case she caught any of your bandages on your arms.
Moving to sit down on the now vacant chair, Leah plonks you down on her lap as she keeps her arms wrapped around you tightly since it was apparent you weren't going to let go any time soon but she was okay with how clingy you was after she hadn't seen you in a few days.
"Whats' been going on here then?" Lia looks towards the game that was previously being played.
"We were playing cards, but Kyras' being proper salty because she's loosing now" You grin, sticking your tongue out at the Australian girl.
"How do you even loose at that game?" Steph wonders.
"I didn't know you could even loose at snap" Beth chuckles, amusedly.
"Apparently so" Jen jokes, joining in with the two of them.
Leah can't help but laugh amusedly as she runs her fingers through your hair. "The doctor said that you're making good progress" she tells you.
"Mhm" You mumble, resting your head on her shoulder.
"That's good news!" Vic overhears the conversation as she smiles at you.
"Yeah, that means you'll be able to come home soon enough" Alessia pipes in.
Katie can't help but scoff. "She should've never been here in the first place" she sneers in the direction where Leah is sat.
"Katie" Kim glares at the Irish girl.
"What? It's true!" Katie exclaims in outrage, not backing down from glaring at the blonde. "You and I both know it, we all do! She should've never been here, she should have been at home with people that care about her" she insists.
"It's what was best for her" Leah fires back just as quick.
"Was it?" Katie scowls at her.
"Can you guys please not talk about me like I'm not in the room?" You huff and glance between the two older girls.
"Sorry kid" Katie apologises.
"Sorry bubs" Leah apologises.
"Hey, Y/N/N, it'll be good that you're getting out of hospital soon enough now" Kyra slyly grins at you, looking forward to the pair of you being able to cause mischief in no time.
"Yeah, partners in crime reunited again" You grin at the Aussie girl.
"No, no! Absolutely not!" Steph protests, shaking her head. "It took me at least a week to get the ketchup of the ceiling after the last stunt that you two idiots pulled" She adds.
"I don't know what you're talking about" You try to act innocent as you slyly smirk at Kyra.
"Oh, really? So the baking soda just happened to find it's way inside the ketchup bottle, did it?" Steph narrows her eyes' in the direction of the two of you.
"Maybe" Kyra can't help the shit eating grin on her face.
"I know that look, the pair of you are definitely going to be up to no good" Viv shakes her head.
Jen chuckles in amusement. "You two willl definitely be under a careful watch now incase the next prank gets out of hand" She notes.
"Sure, cos' I'm not going to already be watched like a hawk now anyways, right?" You remark sarcastically, peering up at the older blonde.
"What do you think?" Leah replies back, raising one of her eyebrows.
"You can relax, Le. I'm not going to attempt to kill myself again any time soon" You joke, not realising that now probably isn't the best time to make any type of comment like that.
"Y/N" Kim and Leah both scold you at the same time.
You huff when you realise the pair of them are already ganging up on you and remember that being the baby of the team definitely sucks sometimes.
"What? I'm just saying, I'm not gonna, well unless Leah attempts to try and cook dinner again then it's an easy way out-- Ow! What the fuck?" You continue to make jokes about the situation at hand, jolting in shock when you feel a light pinch on your thigh from said blonde you are sat on.
"Language" Leah states sternly, giving you one of her famous glares.
"That was mean of you to do that! Too soon to make jokes about it then?" You pout and rub your thigh to try and relieve some of the pain. "Yep got it" You add, smiling innocently at the blonde.
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"So, I thought you weren't going to come in because it was hard for you?" Katie scoffs at the blonde, deciding to bring the subject up now that you were out of the room, having gone to grab a drink with Jen, Steph and Beth.
"Katie" Viv glances at Katie and exhales a sigh.
"It has been hard Katie" Leah admits, biting her bottom lip.
Katie scoffs again. "Oh? I'm sorry, I'm sure it must have been so hard for you, Leah" she deadpans.
"You don't know how hard it has been, Katie!" Leah shouts loud around the room, attracting a few looks in her direction.
"Wonderful" Steph speaks up first, exhaling a sigh.
"Not again" Beth mumbles, shaking her head.
"They're fighting again, aren't they?" You huff as you walk back towards the room with Jen as you can hear the raised voices from the two girls, who weren't seeing eye to eye now
"I think so" Jen agrees.
"Fantastic" You mumble, slowly walking back into the room.
"Oh? And how do you think it's been for Y/N/N? You made the decision to keep her in here!" Katie continues to argue with the blonde, not afraid to be open about her feelings. "You haven't even visited her once while she's been here" she adds.
The Irish girl really hadn't been happy with the whole decision that had been made but there was nothing that she could do herself to stop it from happening.
It had left a tense atmosphere between the two girls and they'd shared a few cross words ever since.
"It wasn't my choice Katie!" Leah insists, continuing to argue with the fiesty Irish girl.
Katie couldn't help but scoff and roll her eyes. "Sure, but you could have said something to stop it!" she fires back at the blonde, not willing to back down from the argument just yet.
"Girls lets' not do this here" Kim looks between the two of them as she notices you walk back into the room with the older girls.
"Katie, come on, just leave it" Caitlin takes a hold of the girls' hand to try and calm her down.
However, neither of the girls were willing to back down just yet.
They were both just as stubborn as one another sometimes.
"The doctors thought it was best since Y/N/N--" Leahs' words were cut off by you, walking in right at that moment.
"Tried to kill myself, I tried to end my life, and it would have worked if Leah hadn't ran in and stopped me, so everyone thinks keeping me locked up in here it will help to keep me safe"
The room is suddenly so silent that you could hear a pin drop.
Whoops?
"Hey, at least the therapy is somehow helping to help me express my feelings now. Yay" You deadpan, plonking yourself back down on Leahs' lap as you rip open the packet of Haribo Tangfastics you had brought from the hospital shop. "So, does anyone want a sweet?" You offer, like you hadn't just said what you did.
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valeskafics · 8 months
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"Bella Notte" - Tom Bennett x Reader
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Alternate Title: "Uptown Girl"
a/n: not a request or anything, just am currently OBSESSED with the song "uptown girl" and wanted to write up a little something for tom, also kinda a lady and the tramp au 🤭💕
Summary: Tom thinks that what a posh uptown girl like you needs is a downtown man like him.
TW: profanity, innuendo, afab reader, she/her pronouns, classism, spit kink, spanking, fingering, oral f receiving, oral m receiving, face fucking, p in v sex, overstim, pussy slapping, breeding kink, unprotected sex, daddy kink, choking, light face slapping, dom tom, slight sub drop, tiddy succin, degradation
Word Count: 6,230 words
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the World On Fire characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are never required but are immensely appreciated ❤️
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When Tom Bennett walks down the London street from a long day at work, hands in his pockets and a slight spring in his step, he very nearly passes you by. You’re dressed to the nines, in a pretty red coat, hair perfectly coiffed, lips painted red, as you give him a polite smile and walk on by. You’re a posh one, by the looks of it, probably living in Knightsbridge or Mayfair. Old money. You’d never look twice at a guy like him, and yet, you gave him that sweet little smile as you passed. What harm can it do to try and chat you up? Tom turns back around and calls out to you.
“Er, excuse me?”
You stop in your tracks, turning back to face him, “Yes?”
“You wouldn’t happen to have the time, would you? My watch is broken.”
“Oh, sure, just a moment,” you say, checking your watch, “It’s half six.”
Tom gives you a bright grin, one that has your heart beating a little faster in your chest, “Thanks, love. By the way, you wouldn’t happen to know where the nearest fish and chip shop is? I’m new around these parts and not sure what the best places to eat are.”
He’s now pulled not one but two cheesy lines on you. And he’s surprised by how well it’s going, considering you walk a bit closer to him, pointing in the general direction of the shop you’re sending him off to, telling him that it’s just down the street and that it’s the best place for fish and chips in all of Covent Garden. He’s been here long enough to know that, but you don’t know that he knows…
“You’re new in town, yeah?” you ask, “That’s a Manchester accent if I’ve ever heard one.”
“Well spotted. Moved here after the war to get a job,” Tom gives you a cheeky little wink, “I’m Tom by the way. Tom Bennett.”
You give him your name in return, extending your hand for him to shake, which he takes with no hesitation. Your hand is soft and smooth, and he can’t help but let his grip linger, not that you seem to be in any hurry to let go either. You bite your lip at the feeling of his rough, calloused palm against yours. It’s oddly comforting.
“Say,” he pauses, giving you an easy smile, “Why don’t you and I have that fish and chips together? My treat. It’s the least I can do for your help.”
He knows it’ll set him back a bit, but this is an investment into his future, as far as he’s concerned. But he watches as your smile dims ever so slightly and you look over your shoulder.
“I already have plans for the evening,” you say apologetically, “But thank you for the offer.”
He should’ve been prepared for this. You’re a proper London posh bird and he’s just a sailor. Well, former sailor. He decides to lay it on thicker with the flirting, hoping to get past that veneer of politeness.
“Oh, plans, hm? I was unaware that the most beautiful woman in London had plans with anyone but me.”
You can’t help the giggle you let out before shaking your head, “Maybe another time?”
Your sweet little laugh is the most beautiful thing Tom Bennett thinks he’s heard in his young life as he responds, “Perfect. In fact, I’ll tell you what, why don’t I come round to your flat on Tuesday, round seven, and we can head over together?”
“Minor setback, Tom Bennett. You don’t know where I live,” you point out, amused.
“I don’t need to know where your flat’s at,” he shrugs, a confident smile on his face, “I’ll just come down the road on Tuesday and yell for you out on the pavement. I know all the birds in London have eyes on me, so I shouldn’t have a problem finding you.”
You burst into laughter at his words, covering your mouth, finally calming down enough to reply, “Well there’s an idea!”
Tom feels quite accomplished after making you laugh, hands in his pockets as he gazes at you, a twinkle in his eye, “Tell me that I’ll actually see you Tuesday and your laugh doesn’t mean this is all some cruel joke.”
“You will,” you smile at him before laughing again, “We can meet at the fish and chips shop so you don’t need to yell for me on the pavement.”
“Why thank you, Pidge,” he sees the way you fluster slightly at the nickname, “I’ll see you Tuesday then. I’ll be the handsome man with the dashing good looks and the winning smile.”
The two of you part ways, each of you glancing over your shoulder every so often to look at the other.
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Tom shows up at work the next day, feeling quite excited about how his week is going so far. He’s landed himself a date with a young lady who is, no doubt, one of London’s most eligible young women. You seem so sweet and innocent, almost naive. A pretty little bird for him to corrupt. His day goes by in a blur, thoughts of you never far from his mind. Then, he’s given his last job of the day. Some flat in Chelsea with a boiler issue, after which he can head home. He rolls his eyes, thinking it’s probably some poor helpless Daddy’s girl who doesn’t want to crack a nail doing any “dirty work”.
Imagine his surprise when it’s you who answers the door. You both just look at each other for a moment, a bit shocked. Tom is pleasantly surprised that his memory of your beauty from last night isn’t exaggerated.
“Well, hey there, Pidge,” he winks, leaning against your doorframe, “Fancy seeing you here, and looking even more gorgeous than before,” he eyes your pretty blue dress that hugs your figure perfectly with admiration, “What brings you to a place like this?”
“This is my flat,” you laugh softly, “I’m guessing that you’re the repairman?”
No. No way. He knew you were posh, but this? This is insane.
“I am indeed the repairman, but how can this possibly be your flat, Pidge?” Tom looks around incredulously.
You dodge the question, stepping aside to let him in, “So there is absolutely no hot water,” you tell him, “It’s been like this all day.”
Tom follows after you, taking a moment to admire the way your hips sway as you walk before piping up, “Absolutely unforgivable. How can a woman of your esteem live without her hot water, eh? Poor little Pidge unable to take her warm bath, simply inconceivable,” he’s succeeded in making you laugh, he thinks, as you giggle, “I assure you, you will have your hot water by the hour’s end or my name isn’t Tom Bennett!”
You shake your head at him, almost affectionately, before asking, “Can I get you a glass of water or anything while you work?
He raises an eyebrow, grinning at you, “Well, aren’t you an angel? A glass of water would be perfect, thanks,” he begins fiddling with your boiler as you move to pour him a glass, “I must say, though, this flat of yours is very impressive. I take it your family’s done well for themselves?”
“Daddy owns an art gallery in SoHo,” you explain, handing him the water, looking away, slightly flustered as your fingers brush.
Tom takes a sip, smirking to himself. Oh, now he knows exactly how to play this. Sweet little daddy’s girl who’s never worked a day in her life.
“Well, that explains all the art in the flat,” he hums, “Daddy buy all that for you?”
You look at him, mildly incensed, before replying, “I’m not just some daddy’s girl. I have a job, you know.”
He’s got you right where he wants you. On the defensive about being a daddy’s girl. He just needs to push a little harder.
“Oh really?” Tom teases, “What sort of work does a pretty little miss like you do, Pidge?”
“I’m an art curator,” you say, sitting down on your couch, “Have a degree and everything.”
Your response catches him slightly off guard. This is turning out to be a bit harder than anticipated. You even have a proper degree! How in the hell does he turn this around?
“Well, that’s all very good and proper, Pidge, but let’s talk about what’s real. That is, the fact that your father owns this flat and gave you that nice job at his gallery. Am I right?”
Your lips part in surprise, “You’re a bit rude, you know that?”
Oh, he’s definitely getting under your skin, he muses, before shrugging, “Rude? I’m just stating the facts. It’s nothing personal, truly. I just want you to admit that you’re a daddy’s girl at heart. It’s okay, Pidge, there’s no shame in it.”
“You don’t know anything about me!” you protest indignantly.
God, you look adorable when you’re riled up, Tom thinks to himself before speaking again, a devilish grin on his lips, “Oh, really? I think I know a great deal about you. It’s obvious that daddy’s little angel is a bit of a brat. Spoiled little princess.”
You give him a sharp look before turning the tables on him, “Do you mind hurrying it up? I have a date I need to take a bath and get ready for.”
His jaw drops, “Wait, wait, wait… A date? With another man? Pidge, what are you talking about? After you said we’d go out Tuesday” Tom clicks his tongue, “Have you no shame?”
“That was before I knew you were a nasty little prat,” you retort, picking up your copy of Jean Paul Sartre’s No Exit, or rather Huis clos since you’re reading the French version.
Tom looks at you, mildly impressed at how you’ve managed to gain the upper hand, “There’s the daddy’s girl coming back out again. Is it my rudeness that’s put you off, Pidge, or my lowly status as a repairman?”
“I don’t care about your status or your job,” you snap, not looking away from your book, “I care that you act like a mean little boy who tugs on the girl he fancies’ hair!”
He chuckles, “You’re so cute when you’re angry. You’re just a daddy’s girl. And you know that he’d hate me simply because of my low status in life. You’re exactly the same, Pidge, you just couldn’t stand to be with a common repairman when you know your daddy wouldn’t approve.”
“I don’t care what my father thinks! I despise the boys he and Mum try to fix me up with,” you glower at him, “I thought you’d be different, but you’re just as awful as every posh boy I’ve ever known! Just as rude and chauvinistic!”
Tom stalks over to you, leaning down over you on the sofa, so close that your breath intermingles with his, your heart pounding in your chest as he murmurs, “Is that right, Pidge? You don’t care what your daddy thinks? Well then, why don’t you throw away that ridiculous book and spend the night with this rude, chauvinistic working class boy who wants nothing more than to show you the night of your life?” he winks, “Trust me, daddy’s little darling will love every second of it.”
You glare up at him, “I most certainly will not! And my book isn’t ridiculous!”
He scoffs, grabbing the book from you and giving it a cursory look, “Ahhh, a book on philosophy, is it? And it’s all in French. So you think you’re some upper class intellectual, is that it? Do you even speak French, Pidge?”
“Va te faire foutre!” you scowl, standing up so that the two of you are chest to chest.
Tom spent enough time around the French to know exactly what it is you’re telling him.
“Oooh, telling me to go fuck myself? You’re already learning to get a little spicy for me, Pidge, what a filthy little mouth,” he teases.
“Is the boiler fixed or not?”
He gives you a cocky little smile, “Course it’s fixed. Only took me a minute to do it. A lady like you needs her hot water, innit? You know,” his eyes move along your curves, taking in every inch of you, “For your baths. Keeping that delicate posh skin nice and soft.”
“Oh, don’t act like you know anything about me, you arrogant, slimy, son of a-”
You cut yourself off, much to Tom’s chagrin. A posh girl with a filthy mouth. A dream come true, truly.
“Come on, Pidge, don’t hold back,” he goads, “Say it with your chest! I love that filthy little mouth, and I think you like my mouth too, yeah?”
“The only thing I’d like about your mouth is if it was shut, you absolute arse!”
“And what if I don’t shut my mouth, huh?” he arches a brow, leaning in, “What if I want to keep talking to you?” Tom whispers in your ear, his breath tickling your skin, “Or maybe you’d like it if I used my mouth for other purposes.”
“Ha,” you scoff, pulling away from him, your mind reeling at his implication, “In your dreams!”
Tom holds back a laugh before speaking again, “Oh really? And you know what I think, Pidge? I think you like me. You like me and my filthy yet charming mouth, how cocky and arrogant I am. You like what I bring to the table and I think you know that if a pretty posh princess like you spent just one night with me, I’d rock your world.”
“Your confidence in yourself is wildly misplaced,” you snark, crossing your arms, “Now, I have to get ready for my date. Do I pay you or the company for the repair?”
He looks at the way your crossed arms only seem to enhance his view of your cleavage, giving you a cheeky wink, “Oh, your date? With some rich man’s spoiled son? No doubt your parents forced you to go on this ‘date’ to please them, when in fact you’d rather be spending the night with me. So come on, Pidge, just admit a date with me is what you really want.”
“You’re the most arrogant and conceited man I’ve ever met,” you hiss as he approaches you.
“Pidge, I’ve seen the type of posh boys your type hangs out with,” he lets out a derisive little laugh before adding, “And I’m the only man you’ve ever met.”
Well, he isn’t entirely wrong, but you aren’t about to let him know that as you snap back, “And you’re just as bad as any of them!”
“At least I’m honest with you,” Tom replies, arms crossed, showing off the muscles of his forearms which you refuse to look at lest you get distracted, “Not like those boys who keep trying and failing to woo you. They couldn’t handle a woman like you. They’d buckle in a heartbeat. You need a man who can challenge you, keep you on your toes. A man like me.”
You open your door, wondering why you didn’t do this sooner, and gesture for him to leave, “Thank you for the repair job, have a nice day, and do not come back!”
“You know what, Pidge? I think I was wrong,” he says as he stands beside you, a cheesy grin on his face that you just want to slap (or kiss) off, “I don’t think I just want one night with you. No, I’m gonna stick around for the rest of my life. I’ll be your husband, your rock!”
“Get out!”
You grab him by the sleeve and start pushing him out the door, but Tom digs his feet in and resists, enjoying this little back and forth far too much to leave now, “You want to push me out the door? Well I’m going to resist in every way I can, you little seductress!”
“Seductress?! Are you insane?!”
“Seductress,” Tom repeats, looking over his shoulder at you as you continue trying to shove him out the door, “It’s the perfect description for you and your sexy little posh ways-”
You finally manage to get him out the door and slam it shut behind him, muttering out, “Jesus!”
You can still hear his voice from the other side of the door, muffled now, but enough to have you pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance as he speaks, “Oh, so you’re religious then? Well that’s even better! You can start by worshiping my superior mind and body, and as for Jesus? Well, if he’s watching, I’m sure he approves!”
“You’re insane! Go away!”
Tom is having far too much fun to leave now and he’s too invested in this, “I’m sorry, Pidge, but no! I’m never going to let you go, my sexy little posh princess!”
You shake your head incredulously at the sheer and utter gall of this man, “I’m taking a bath and getting ready for my date, and you’d best be gone by the time he gets here!”
Why are you still talking to him? You shouldn’t be engaging at this point! And yet, here you are. Oddly drawn to him. Is it really that odd though? You’re sick of all the uptown boys you’ve dated, all the posh pricks your parents have tried to pair you off with - disingenuous, condescending. Showering you with gifts and yet no real emotion behind any of it. Tom, on the other hand, makes you feel something. Alive.
“And you know what, Pidge? I’m going to be in bed, waiting for you. Yes, that’s right, and I’ll treat my little princess the way she needs to be treated. No need for the boiler, Daddy will warm you up the old-fashioned way! Don’t keep your daddy waiting, darling!”
“Oh, you’re vile!”
You ignore him and get into the bath, hearing him say something or the other about you needing someone who gets their hands dirty. You let the hot water soak your body, sighing contentedly, trying to ignore the intrusive thoughts of what it would be like if Tom was in here with you. His large palms on your thighs, ghosting closer and closer to your-
Before you can even realize what you’re doing, you’re touching yourself to the thought of one Tom Bennett.
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Tom waits outside, leaning against your front door, when your date walks up, a wrapped gift in hand. He’s just as prissy and snobby as Tom thought he would be, looking like he’s never done an honest day’s work in his entire life. The other boy looks at Tom oddly before ringing the doorbell, fixing his hair and waiting for you to answer. The two of them seem to be sizing each other up when you open your door. You give your date a polite smile and greet him while Tom eyes you up and down in the slinky black number you’ve chosen to wear, accentuating your hips and chest. You accept the present from your date with a grimace only visible to Tom on your face.
“Bye, Tom,” you say coolly, taking your date’s arm.
What was his name again? Oh, Bradley. You think.
“Goodbye?!” Tom calls out as you begin to walk, “C’mon, Pidge, you won’t just cast me aside like that, right? Don’t throw away our love!”
You feel your face heat up at his words and try to ignore him, that is until your date speaks up, “Just ignore the pikey kid.”
You turn to your date after seeing the slightly injured look on Tom’s face, eyes narrowed as you speak, “You know, Bradley, I don’t think I feel like going out with someone who finds it amusing to belittle people for working hard for their money,” you shove his gift back into his hand with an annoyed glare, ignoring his protest that his name is actually Benji.
Benji/Bradley/Whatever stomps away and you turn to Tom, a sheepish expression on your face.
“I’m so sorry for what he said.”
Tom looks at you, an uncharacteristically genuine smile playing on his lips, “It’s alright, Pidge. I appreciate you sticking up for the working man. Bet he’s just an arrogant little brat who thinks he’s entitled to anything he wants in life?”
You nod, “He seems to think he’s above people who work hard for their money and I don’t care to associate with people who think that way.”
“That’s because you’re a good girl, Pidge,” Tom says, resting a hand on your cheek, grinning when you don’t pull away, “You aren’t one of those posh birds who looks down on others. You respect the value of a hardworking man, a man like me. And I must say,” he winks, “You look gorgeous in that dress of yours, but it would look even better on the floor of your bedroom.”
You feel your entire body heat up at the thought of what he’s implying, but quickly sass, “I’m not that easy, Tom Bennett. Take me on a date first.”
Tom nods; he’s going to prove that he’s a good man who values you,, “I would be honored to take you on a proper date, my little posh princess. Just tell me where you want to go. Your choice.”
You think for a moment before stating, “Somewhere downtown. I’m sick of the uptown noise.”
Tom takes you by the hand and leads you out of your apartment building, toward a backstreet shortcut that you’ve never taken before. He tells you he knows of a little hole in the wall restaurant downtown, an Italian place, that he thinks you’ll absolutely adore. You let him lead the way. Tom gazes at you as you take in the downtown atmosphere, a bright smile on your face. You seem absolutely fascinated. You might be a little rich girl from the upper echelons of society, but he knows that there’s something deep down that wants to come out. You need something grittier.
The two of you enter the restaurant and Tom leads you to a table near the back. He greets the waitstaff and the owner by name, Tony of Tony’s Italian Restaurant. He pulls out your chair for you, taking your coat and setting it aside, admiring the way you look in the dim candlelight, your eyes sparkling.
“You nervous?” he teases, taking a seat beside you rather than sitting opposite you, something you can’t help but be charmed by as he rests his arm on the back of your chair, “Just think, you could be out with Bradley right now, in some fancy restaurant in SoHo, but you’re with me. Here. I bet you feel quite naughty right now.”
“I’m still a nice girl,” you stick your tongue out at him playfully, earning a raucous laugh from the man beside you.
Tom snickers, “Sure you are, Pidge. You know, once this date is over, I’m going to take you home and spoil you. Not with money or gifts or fancy pearls, but with my time and my love, yeah?”
“I’d like that,” you say softly as he takes your hand in his, bringing it to his lips to kiss, making you smile.
Tony walks up to your table, an older man with a grin on his face, “Okay, Tommy boy, tell me, what’s your pleasure? And introduce Papa Tony to your friend, huh?” Tom grins back at him, introducing you, “Ciao, bella. She seems like a sweet kid, Tommy, settle down with this one, huh?”
Tom blushes, much to your surprise as he mumbles, “That’s the plan.”
He’s surprisingly adorable, you find as he adores the two of you a large plate of spaghetti and meatballs to share, stating that they’re the best he’s had in his entire life. Tony serves them up within a few minutes, stating his favorite customer and his lady friend get priority. The food smells delicious. The two of you eagerly tuck in, and you nearly let out a moan at how good it tastes. It’s flavorful and warm and rich. The two of you start off with the meatballs, perfectly tender, splitting them pretty evenly until there’s only one left. Tom rolls it toward you with his fork, a cute little smile on his face. You look away shyly, tucking your hair behind your ear. Tom gazes at you with something akin to awe, picking the meatball up on his fork and bringing it to your lips, feeding you. He watches as you part your lips and accept it. He can tell that you adore the way he’s looking after you, the way your soft, small hand fits in his rougher, larger one. Tony comes by, an accordion in hand while his sous chef, Joe, carries a mandolin, playing a melody for the two of you as you eat.
“Oh this is the night, it’s a beautiful night, and we call it bella notte. Look at the skies, they have stars in their eyes on this lovely bella notte.”
As the two of you continue twirling the spaghetti on your forks, listening to Tony sing and eating absent-mindedly, you don’t notice that the same pasta string is on both of your forks, your lips drawing closer and closer until they touch. You pull back immediately, your eyes wide with embarrassment. Tom, instead, leans in ever so slightly, resting a hand on your cheek. You lean in as well and soon, the two of you share a soft, sweet kiss, right in the middle of the restaurant.
When the time comes to pay the bill, you try to grab it, but Tom insists, “Not proper behavior, my little girl. I’m afraid I must settle the bill. I’m going to take care of you.”
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The two of you go on a long walk after dinner, hand in hand as you go. You’re surprised at how easily conversation comes with Tom, how he asks you about your favorite artists, how he tells you about his parents, both of whom are gone now, and his sister, Lois, back in Manchester, his time in the navy… You come across a patch of wet cement and Tom gives you a mischievous little grin, pulling you toward it. The two of you crouch down on the ground, pressing your handprints there, side by side, Tom’s front pressed up against your back as you do.
“They look perfect together,” Tom whispers, kissing your temple.
You shiver slightly and nod, “They do.”
Tom helps you to your feet, immediately pulling you into another kiss. You gasp softly as he nips at your lower lip, his arms wrapping around you as he holds you close. You feel like you’re in one of those movies you’d see with your mother at the cinema, your foot popping up as you kiss him back, arms wrapped around his neck, only to hear a whistle, a police officer telling the two of you to move along.
You and Tom giggle, walking away hand in hand as he leads you to his flat, Tom speaking up sheepishly as you enter, “It’s not much, but it’s mine.”
You look around at the apartment, smiling softly, admiring it, “I love it. It’s real and cozy and warm. It’s perfect.”
He leads you to his bed, gently laying you down and crawling over you, his lips finding your neck. You moan softly, feeling his hands move to your thighs, squeezing your flesh, kneading it in his hands. You wrap your arms around his neck, holding him close, his lips trailing along your jaw before finding your own lips once more, his tongue dancing against yours. His fingers move up to tease you over the fabric of your underwear and you let out a mewl of his name. Tom smirks at you, shaking his head playfully as he pulls back.
“No, not Tom, sweetheart.”
You’re quiet for a moment before murmuring, “Daddy?”
His grin says it all, “Naughty little thing you are.”
You watch with interest as he slides your dress down your body, revealing your underwear and brassiere, both white in color, looking gorgeous against your skin. Tom licks his lips as he presses a kiss to your bare stomach, his eyes hungry as he stares at you.
“Maybe you should punish me then, Daddy,” you say playfully, yelping when he puts you over his knee in one fluid motion.
“My little princess,” he cos before removing your underwear, revealing the bare skin of your ass to him.
And it shouldn’t thrill you as much as it does when he brings the flimsy garment to his nose, inhaling your scent deeply before shoving them in his pocket. You feel him land three hard spanks on your ass in quick succession, letting out a soft moan at the feeling. The sting is oddly pleasurable and Tom just loves the way your flesh jiggles when he spanks you. His fingers trail over your wet pussy, teasing you ever so slightly.
“You’re wet just from me spanking you, sweetheart?” he taunts, landing one hard smack between your legs, right against your pearl, earning a loud moan from you, “Yeah, that’s right. Such a dirty little slut just for Daddy.”
He lands another slap against your pussy, loving the little whine you let out before spanking your ass again, once, twice, three times, loving the way you squirm against him. He lifts you up by your hair, bringing his lips to your neck as he continues spanking your ass, nibbling at your skin gently, then biting down harder, making sure to leave his mark, quickly lavishing the injured skin with attention from his tongue.
“Do you wanna do something for your daddy, Pidge?” he murmurs in your ear, “Wanna let Daddy fuck that pretty little mouth?”
You’ve never done anything like this before but the idea is too enticing to pass up. You move to sit on your knees on the floor while he sits at the foot of the bed, ridding himself of his shirt, then his trousers and underwear. He’s long and girthy, evidence of his arousal already leaking at the tip of his cock. You lean forward to give a kitten lick to the tip, gazing up at him through your lashes as you do. Tom groans, leaning back on his elbows as you take him into your mouth, your hands moving to cup and massage his balls as you do. Tom bucks his hips up against your mouth, holding you in place by your hair as he fucks your mouth as promised. You know your throat will hurt in the morning from this but you can’t bring yourself to care, the lewd moans he lets out being more than compensatory for whatever discomfort you’ll feel tomorrow. Tom keeps going, spilling himself in your mouth, his spend coating your tongue. You pull off of him with an obscene wet popping noise and swallow, opening your mouth when he demands that you show you did.
You gasp when Tom spits directly onto your tongue, smirking at you and demanding you swallow that as well. You close your lips and do as he says, showing him again that you’ve obeyed him.
“Get on the bed on all fours, Princess,” he growls in your ear, “I want to taste you now.”
You do as he says, climbing onto his bed, getting on your hands and knees, your ass in the air. You gasp as you feel him spit on your cunt, moaning softly as his tongue laps at your folds. You can barely even think straight, bracing yourself on your elbows as he fucks you with the rough muscle, moving in and out of you, hands grasping at your ass. Tom makes the most obscene slurping noises, moaning as he tastes you, moving one of his hands to circle your sensitive bud as he fucks you with his tongue. You feel it dragging along your walls, teasing you as he moves at a rapid pace, in tandem with his finger until you reach your peak, coming all over his tongue with a near sob of his name. Tom isn’t done, however, and simply flips you onto your back, making quick work of your brassiere, tossing it aside, before his lips find your pearl, suckling at it as he pumps two fingers in and out of you, loving how wet and warm you feel, squeezing around him. It’s almost too much and you squirm away subconsciously, but you’re reprimanded with a sharp smack between your legs as he continues mouthing at your clit and fucking you with his fingers, now adding a third, bringing you to your peak once more, even more intense than before. You panic for a moment at the feeling of wetness between your thighs, but Tom grins up at you like, devil.
“That ever happened before? You squirted for Daddy, you filthy little minx.”
“Daddy,” you say softly, catching your breath, “Be gentle at first, yeah? I’ve never done this before…”
Tom nods, pressing a kiss to your temple as he works his cock to full hardness again, tugging at it, “I will, Princess. Daddy will take care of you. But don’t you worry. You’ll be begging for me to go rougher in no time.”
You laugh breathlessly, “I have no doubt about that.”
Tom eases himself inside you, inch by glorious inch. You grasp at the sheets, gritting your teeth, the sting slowly fading after he bottoms out inside of you. He peppers kisses all over your face, his lips moving to your chest, mouthing at it, grinning up at you as his tongue laves attention on one of your nipples, rolling it between his lips, feeling it pebble under his touch before giving the other the same treatment. His distraction works, and when you feel him shift slightly, you let out a sharp, pleasure-filled gasp. And Tom knows you’re ready. He begins rolling his hips against yours, his cock filling you up perfectly with every thrust as he moves against you. He keeps eye contact with you, holding your wrists above your head, his thumb grazing over your pulse point, his lips capturing yours in a searing kiss, one that will be forever burned into your memory. He continues bucking his hips against yours, glancing down and smirking at the way the outline of his cock is visible against your stomach with every movement he makes. He moves one of his hands from yours and presses down on the bulge slightly, admiring the way you squeal out a “Daddy” before rolling your hips against his. Tom moves his hand down to rub at your pearl, letting out a low groan as you squeeze around his cock, reaching your peak again.
He pulls out, flipping you onto your stomach, and begins fucking you from behind, the head of his cock bullying against you as he pounds into you over and over, the feeling being almost too much to handle. You moan as he grabs you by the hair so that your back is flush against his chest, kissing your neck as he ruts into you like some sort of feral beast, the tip of his cock brushing against your sweet spot with every movement.
“Who’s making you feel this good, Princess?” he hisses in your ear, moving his hand up to your throat, squeezing ever so slightly when you don’t respond, the feeling driving you wild, “Answer me, sweetheart or I’ll stop right now.”
“You are, Daddy,” you let out a choked gasp, babbling, pleading for him to go harder, faster, anything.
Tom quickens the movement of his hips, his balls feeling tight as they slap against your ass as he fucks you, knowing he’s about to reach his own end, “Going to cum inside that pretty little pussy. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You want me to breed you like a good little girl.”
“Yes,” you whimper, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, “I’m so close, Daddy…”
Tom’s thrusts slow ever so slightly at how tight your walla squeeze him, and he murmurs, “Come for me, sweetheart. Come for Daddy.”
You reach your climax, squeezing him impossibly tight, triggering his own end, feeling him spill himself deep inside you. You both fall onto the bed in a tired heap, Tom’s body weight against yours giving you a sense of comfort. He moves away after a few moments to grab a towel to clean you off, handing you a glass of water with a gentle smile.
“You okay?”
You feel tears prick at your eyes, not really understanding your emotions at the moment, “I… That was amazing, but I don’t know why I’m crying… I’m sorry, Tom…”
He shushes you, pulling you into his arms, “It was your first time and it was intense, Pidge. Don’t worry, love. I’m here. I’ll take care of you.”
“Thank you,” you murmur, gazing up at him, allowing yourself to nuzzle up against him as he pulls the sheets over the two of you, “For everything.”
“Thank you for giving me a chance,” he says, kissing your temple, gently running a hand through your hair, “My uptown girl.”
Tom wonders if it’s too soon to say he loves you.
Perhaps he’ll save that for tomorrow.
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766 notes · View notes
wholoveseggs · 7 days
Note
Huhu, me again :) As I am re-reading your stories while stuck at home with the flu, I was thinking of another possible story: Reader is Rebecca's friend and a high-end prostitute. She has seen and experienced some rough things and is not trusting around men at all. Elijah is in love with her, but she will only accept him as a client (just sex for money, no kissing, no tenderness). He does everything in his power to change her mind.
Thanks, ❤️. Hope you have a lovely weekend!
Safe
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18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
In a world where trust is hard to come by, you've learned to keep your guard up, especially around men. But when Elijah enters your life, he's determined to break through your defenses, venturing into a realm of passion, pain, and the search for something real.
♡♡ Thanks for the request @originals23 I always adore your requests! Hope you are feeling better ♡♡
8.2k words - Warnings: smut, oral sex, white knight Elijah, lots of fluff and affection, Rebekah being badass...
PLEASE NOTE: this has descriptions of sexual assault, trauma & violence... don't read if these things trigger you ♡♡♡
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Elijah considered himself a man of experience. He had seen and done everything in his many centuries. He was no stranger to the ways of the world, to the ways of power, to the ways of pleasure.
He watched society evolve and change in many ways, but some things always stayed the same, even after one thousand years.
Elijah knew what he was to women, the way they would fawn over him, the way they would throw themselves at him. It had never bothered him, he used this privilege to disarm potential threats, to protect those he loves.
Never in his long years had he considered paying for sex, he was not the kind of man that needed to pay for a woman's affections. He was a gentleman, he treated women with respect, courted them, loved them.
But then, there was you.
He would meet you in hotels, only the most luxurious, expensive, exclusive ones, where no questions were asked, and privacy was guaranteed.
You were always punctual and dressed to the nines, always with the most stunning outfits, the finest dresses, the highest heels. Your hair was always perfectly styled, your makeup expertly done. 
You were far more put together than he could ever be. It made him want to believe that it was all just for him, but he knew better than that. You looked expensive because you were expensive.
The first time was a complete whim, a moment of weakness. He met you through his sister, at an event she was hosting. He tried to get you in his bed the old fashioned way, with his charm, and it almost worked. He was not used to rejection. But, he got the impression that it was not personal, for you it was just business.
So, he took a chance and hired you for the night. You were not expecting it, he could tell, but you quickly hid it behind a mask of professionalism.
The sex was... Immaculate. He would be a fool to say anything else. In his many centuries of living, he had experienced his fair share of pleasures. He was an excellent lover, he knew it, he prided himself in being one, but you were the first woman he had been with, where he felt like the student.
He would never forget the image of you on your knees before him, with your red lips wrapped around his cock, the sight would stay burned into his retinas for eternity.
You were the perfect companion, always the right thing to say, the right thing to do. You would only give, and never take, leaving him wanting more.
After your first meeting, he became a regular, every Friday at 8pm at the Roosevelt Hotel.
It had become his routine, you would arrive dressed in something different each time, more breathtaking than the last. And each Friday, you would repeat the same motions; meet him at the bar, have a drink, make small talk, before inevitably returning to his hotel room.
You never looked him in the eyes when you rode him, head thrown back in ecstasy, legs trembling and breasts bouncing, the very vision of sin.
You were all fire and passion, never letting your heart get involved, as was your work's rule. Always just fucking, no kissing, no affection, never sharing anything that had the smallest ounce of intimacy.
There was only once where he would have thought he saw an ounce of vulnerability in your eyes.
On that particular Friday, Elijah had arranged for the room to have flowers and champagne and a wonderful spread for dinner. When you arrived, he greeted you the same way he always did, taking you in his arms, feeling the weight of you pressed against him. When he released you from the embrace, he turned to lead you to the couch, but found your cheeks tinged with pink and tears running down your face.
That was new.
You composed yourself almost immediately, a smile returning to your beautiful face. The moment passed. You apologized, saying the roses were so lovely, you felt a bit sentimental for a moment.
He wanted to call it out, but he was not a fool; you were crying because you were moved. He wondered if anyone had treated you with sincerity before. But he held his tongue, only responding that he was glad you liked them.
You drew him in like a moth to a flame. Your beauty, your intelligence, your wit, it all appealed to him, but there was something else, something he couldn't put his finger on.
He wasn't sure what it was, why you affected him so. Perhaps it was the mystery, the fact that he could never really get close to you, not like he wanted.
You were the perfect escort, always attentive, always beautiful, always ready to please. But you were also distant, aloof. You didn't want any affection from him, or to speak of romance, of love.
Your emotional unavailability felt like a mirror, reflecting his own loneliness, his own fear of intimacy.
He wondered how somebody so young, with so little years behind them, could harbor such pain behind their eyes.
Perhaps that is what drew him to you, the possibility that you could understand him, the darkness that lived inside him, the burden of immortality, the isolation that came with it.
He wanted to know you, not just the performance you put on for him, but what lies underneath the façade.
But you didn't allow him to. You kept him at arm's length, never letting him get too close.
He tried to be respectful, he tried not to push you, but he found himself wanting more, wanting things he shouldn't.
You were a good girl, you gave him what he paid for, nothing more. But he wanted more, he wanted you. He wanted to take you out on a date, to spoil you, to make you feel loved, to show you the world.
But he knew that would never happen. You were a professional, and he was just another client. Still, he couldn't help but wonder, couldn't help but hope.
He would keep coming back, and maybe one day, you would let him in. Maybe one day, he would finally get to show you the truth of his feelings.
Maybe one day, you would fall in love with him, too.
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You were on another date with a new client, you always met them in public first, making sure they were who they claimed to be before you headed to the hotel.
You were always cautious, using protection, staying safe, trusting your instincts.
You tried your best not to judge your clients, you didn't know why they sought you out instead of dating. For some, it was simply convenience, for others, it was something more sinister. You worked hard to keep the latter far away from you.
This client was a bit shy, he wouldn't meet your gaze or answer any of your questions. It was like pulling teeth. But he didn't have that "off" vibe. Maybe he was just uncomfortable around women and that's why he sought you out.
He seemed to loosen up after a few drinks, his smile becoming more confident, his laugh deepening. His hands would occasionally drift toward your thigh as he leaned in close to talk.
"I rented the penthouse for tonight, it comes with a hot tub," he said awkwardly.
"Oh, that's nice," you tried to sound interested, taking a fake sip of your drink. You never drank or consumed anything while working. You had a fear of being drugged, you prioritized staying alert when with new clients.
"Would you care to see it?" his tone was low and raspy, and his gaze darkened with arousal.
"Of course," you smirked, taking his hand as he led you out of the bar.
Your phone buzzed, it was a text from Rebekah; she always made sure to check in when you were meeting new clients. You smiled, knowing she was looking out for you. The two of you had an emergency plan, if you ever felt unsafe, all you had to do was text her the word 'trouble' and she would come running, and wouldn't hesitate to defend you.
This was another reason you loved being friends with Rebekah, despite the vampire thing, her overprotectiveness of the people she cared for, she was so fierce. It felt good to have someone watch your back in a business such as this. That hasn't always been the case for you.
You texted her your hotel and room number as usual, trying not to let your mind wander to her brother. It was unprofessional to be thinking about him while you were with another client, but you couldn't help it.
It had been nearly three months since you began your arrangement with Elijah, and yet he was always the one that occupied your thoughts, plaguing your dreams, controlling your waking thoughts, your fantasies.
Never had a client affected you in such a way. Sure, you had attractive and charming men seeking your company, ones that smelled nice and tipped well. But Elijah was something else entirely. He made you feel things you didn't want to feel, you had rules, boundaries, reasons to keep a safe distance. Yet with every encounter, you were drawn deeper and deeper.
You pushed the image of him out of your mind, focusing on your present client. In the elevator, his hands were all over you, pawing at you like a horny teen. Clearly, he was very excited about what was going to happen when you got to the penthouse.
"Baby, slow down, we've got all night," you reminded him, hoping he would calm down.
He ignored you and leaned in to kiss you, he was new, so you politely pushed on his chest and let him know what your rules were.
"Hold on baby, there are rules, remember?" you said, pushing his hands away.
He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I thought that was just a scam, you know, a way to drive up the price," he said, his hand going to his pocket, pulling out his wallet. "How much extra are we talking?"
You could see his wallet was thick with cash and you felt sick, but you played it cool. "Those are my boundaries, honey. No kissing, protection mandatory, no touching unless I say so. That's just how I do business," you said, flashing him a bright smile.
He looked disappointed, but he didn't push. "Fine," he said, putting his wallet away.
You reached the top floor and he led you to the penthouse suite, opening the door and stepping aside. "After you," he said, his voice filled with barely contained desire.
The suite was luxurious, but not the best you've seen. There was a hot tub in the corner and a huge king sized bed. The bathroom was stocked with expensive toiletries and there was a large TV.
"Take your clothes off," he demanded, taking a seat on the bed.
He was far more assertive now that you were alone with him, more controlling. This wasn't too bad, you could work with that. He was older, his hair was a dirty blonde, starting to recede, he was kind of handsome if you squinted.
You began to strip, revealing your black lace lingerie. Your red dress fell to the floor in a puddle of fabric and you heard him growl with excitement.
He eyed you hungrily, licking his lips. "How many hours did I pay for again?" he asked, his voice dripping with lust.
"Five, and I've already started the clock," you said, giving him a coy smile.
"Good," he said, pulling out his wallet and tossing it on the bed. "Come here."
You walked over, stopping in front of him. He reached up, grabbing your breast roughly. "You have great tits," he said, squeezing.
You smiled at him, pretending to enjoy it. You knew he was paying for this, for the fantasy. You pride yourself on your performance, making sure your clients are happy, but you could already tell this was going to be a long couple of hours.
He seemed impatient, rough and demanding. Not exactly your favorite, but this was part of the job. Besides, you had been through worse.
"Are you ready for me?" he asked, his fingers digging into your flesh.
"Yes, sir," you replied, playing the part.
He grabbed your face roughly, making you look into his eyes, then everything became strange, fuzzy, distorted.
Your body felt numb, like you were floating, the room was spinning, and you had the strange sensation of being both in your body and outside it.
You were riding him, you didn't remember how you got there, or when he took his clothes off, but there he was, his cock filling you.
He was groaning and moaning beneath you, his hands gripping your hips tightly. Your neck hurt, your breasts hurt, your thighs hurt, you looked down to see deep bite marks all over you, blood running down your skin.
You blinked, and suddenly you were on your back, the bedspread covered in blood, your blood. You looked up at the man above you, his mouth twisted into a cruel smirk, his eyes completely black.
"What's wrong, sweetheart? Not enjoying yourself?" he sneered, his hand going to your throat. He squeezed, cutting off your air supply.
You gasped, struggling to breathe. Your lungs burned, your eyes filled with tears.
"What did you do to me?" You said, your voice sounding like it was coming from far away. He couldn't have drugged you, you didn't consume anything with him, you were always so careful.
He bit into your neck, his fangs sinking into your skin, holding you down with incredible strength. Cold fear ran through your veins, he was like Rebekah, like Elijah, he was a vampire.
You struggled, trying to fight him off, but you couldn't move, his strength was overwhelming. You felt him drinking your blood, his teeth tearing through your skin.
He pulled back, rolling off of you, lying beside you. "Don't worry, sweetheart, it'll only hurt for a minute," he said, his voice full of malicious glee. "Go wash up for round two," he demanded.
You sat up, trying to gather yourself. You needed to get out of there, and fast. You were bleeding heavily, and the world was still spinning.
He got off the bed and headed to the kitchenette, the sounds of glasses clinking and liquid pouring into a glass filled the air. He must've been getting a drink.
You were lightheaded from the blood loss, your legs shaky. You searched for your purse on the floor, the room looked different, distorted, and you couldn't find the damn thing anywhere. You were losing precious seconds looking for it, your adrenaline keeping the panic at bay.
You caught sight of it, it was beside the night table. You snatched it up and grabbed your phone, typing out the word 'trouble' to send it to Rebekah, hoping the word was enough for her to get the message.
You felt his hands on you again, a hard tug against your hair.
"Back on the bed like a good little whore," he hissed, throwing you on the bed. "I wasn't done with you."
He flipped you onto your stomach, hiking one leg up and exposing you to him. The edges of your vision grew dark, and you could hear your heartbeat growing slower, weaker. You tried to scream, but no sound came out.
You were going to die. He was going to kill you, and no one would know. Rebekah wouldn't come. You would be gone, and no one would ever find you.
Then, as your vision faded to black, all you could think of was how this was the end, how you didn't want to die this way. You had fought so hard to escape this fate, to be someone; something better than this, and yet, here you were, being raped and killed by a monster.
In the darkness you heard a bang, the cracking of wood. Someone was yelling, there was a struggle.
Then, a hand on your face, warm, soft. You heard a familiar voice, a voice that made your heart skip a beat.
"Elijah," you whispered, barely audible.
"I'm here, I'm here," he said, his voice full of panic.
You felt him press his wrist to your lips, his own blood filling your mouth. "Drink," he said softly, and you obeyed.
His blood sent a wave of heat through your body, the pain receding. You drank deeply, the world growing clearer.
You opened your eyes, his worried face above yours. He immediately pulled off his suit jacket and wrapped it around your naked form, scooping you up and cradling you in his arms.
You clung to him, feeling the last vestiges of the monster's compulsion fade. You could see Rebekah standing over the man, whose spine was in her hand, her eyes dark with rage.
You were suddenly aware of the gravity of the situation, and tears began to stream down your face. You sobbed, the trauma, the horror of what had almost happened hitting you full force. You thought you had escaped this life, that it was all in your past, but it was there, fresh and ugly, rearing its head like a hydra, reminding you it would always be a part of you.
Elijah held you tightly, whispering soothing words as Rebekah inspected the body. He was solid, strong, his arms encircling you, holding you together.
"Who is he? One of Marcel's?" Elijah asked, his voice low and angry.
"He better not be," she said, taking a picture of the vampire's face and sending it to someone.
She stood up, wiping her hands on her pants, the blood from the dead vampire staining the fabric. "I'll take care of it," she said, her voice hard and cold. "Get her home," she said, gesturing to you.
Elijah nodded, carrying you out of the room. You clung to him, trying not to fall apart, not to let the pain overwhelm you. He helped you get dressed, you felt like you were outside of your body, watching the events unfold from somewhere above, somewhere safe.
It was the same place you went before. When you were younger, when you were forced into this life, it was a coping mechanism, a way to protect yourself from the horror of it all. It was a way to survive, and it was serving you now, letting you function as your body went through the motions.
You found yourself in Elijah's car, his smell surrounding you. You buried your face in his suit jacket, inhaling his scent, letting it ground you.
He was quiet, his face grim, his jaw clenched. He drove quickly, his hands gripping the steering wheel. You expected a lecture about your lifestyle, perhaps a few well-meaning but patronizing comments about how you should change, should find a new line of work.
But he said nothing. He didn't judge, didn't make you feel small, or dirty. He simply drove, his presence a balm on your battered soul.
You arrived at your building, standing at your doorway, trying to find your keys. Your hands were shaking, and he gently took them from you, unlocking the door.
You stepped inside, feeling a sense of relief. You were safe now, he had saved you, and you were home. You turned to see him still waiting in the doorway, his eyes full of concern.
"You don't have to invite me in," he said softly. "I'll wait out here until I know you're safe."
Your heart melted a little, his kindness catching you off guard. He was a gentleman, and his chivalry touched something deep inside you.
You could feel yourself being pulled toward him, and it took all of your resolve to pull back, to remind yourself of the lines, the rules, and boundaries.
"It's okay, you can come in," you said.
He nodded, stepping into the apartment, closing the door behind him. He stood there awkwardly, it was breaking all the rules, being at your home, and he was unsure of the boundaries.
He could see you, the real you, in every facet of your home. From the paintings to the books, the carefully curated pieces of your life. It felt so personal, to be standing in this space, and he could see the pain and vulnerability, the fight in you. The beautiful complexity. It was so... human, to see your life displayed so honestly, no veneer, no illusion, no façade.
"I'm going to take a shower, make yourself at home," you said, gesturing towards the living room.
He nodded, moving towards the couch, taking a seat.
You disappeared into the bathroom, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
He was angry, furious. Marcel better have answers as to why some random vampire was in the quarter attacking people, because if he didn't, there would be hell to pay.
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his rage. He could hear the water running, and he tried not to think about you, what you just went through, what could have happened.
It all happened so fast, one moment he's in the compound, the next he's following Rebekah into a hotel room, watching her rip the spine from that vile beast.
Seeing you there, pale and lifeless, made him snap. He felt something shift inside him, his mind clouded by anger. In the years he lived, Elijah prided himself on being a rational man. He didn't lose control often, or ever, really, but at that moment, seeing you there, he was lost.
Rebekah killed him too quickly, he deserved a more painful death. He would have drawn it out, tortured him slowly, watching the light go out in his eyes. He hated vampires like that. Abusing humans in that way, playing with one's food was so very undignified.
He was so lost in thought, he didn't notice you walking out of the bathroom, wearing a large t-shirt that went past your knees.
You felt a bit more like yourself, the shower having washed away some of the pain and horror. You still felt shaken, and a little dazed, but you were starting to come back to yourself.
"I'm sorry, I think your jacket is ruined," you said, sitting down next to him.
He smiled sadly, glancing at the bloodied garment in his hands. "It's just a suit jacket. I can get another one," he replied.
A silence fell over you, a little uncomfortable, full of the emotions the night had stirred up. You felt raw, vulnerable. Like he could see right through you. Like everything was different, had changed, somehow. You weren't sure why. Maybe it was because he saved you.
You watched as he seemed to have a mental war with himself, his mind far away. You wondered what was going on in that ancient mind of his, what demons he was wrestling with, or what judgments he was passing.
Finally he looked at you, his expression soft, understanding. "I'm sorry about what happened. To you," he said gently.
The sincerity of his words took you by surprise, and tears sprang into your eyes. You blinked them back, not wanting to fall apart.
"It's my own fault, I'm used to this sort of thing," you replied, waving it off. "I knew better."
"You are used to this," he said, his tone careful. "You shouldn't be used to this," he explained.
Your eyes snapped to him, searching for the meaning behind his words.
"No one should ever have to endure that. No one," he said firmly.
He didn't say you should leave the business, act like some sort of savior, telling you what you should and shouldn't do. He didn't take it upon himself to make a proclamation about your lifestyle. Instead he met the facts with pure empathy and honesty.
It felt... genuine. It was a first. And somehow, coming from him, it meant something more. His kindness was a floodgate that allowed emotions, memories and old pain to come rushing forward.
"I ran away from home when I was just fourteen, my mom's boyfriend was... He would beat me, touch me," you said, tears stinging your eyes.
You hadn't talked about this in a long time, you had spent years trying to forget it ever happened, burying it under layers of denial, and in that moment, it all came flooding back.
"I met a woman on the street that offered me shelter for a night, and it snowballed into her making me turn tricks to repay her," you explained, looking anywhere but at his face.
It felt good to talk about it, to get the weight off of your chest. You had kept it all bottled up for so long, and the night had triggered those old memories, so it seemed right to finally share your story. His presence was warm, safe, comforting, and something told you, you could be vulnerable with him, and not be judged for it.
"When the women offered to take me in, it seemed like a blessing. Like she was saving me, offering to feed and clothe me," you sighed, shaking your head, lost in the memories of your youth.
"But she wasn't saving me, she was buying me. Buying my misery, my pain. My innocence, my body, my trust. And then, one day, I was beaten bloody, the guy she sold me to for the night refused to give her a cent and she put her cigarette out on my neck." You looked down at your lap, remembering the smell of your flesh burning, the pain radiating through your skin.
"I wasn't useful to her any longer, so she dumped me like a bag of trash." You spat the words out, trying to stay objective. Distant. You felt his eyes on you.
"And what did you do?" He asked, his voice so low and gentle. So inviting.
"I slept in a dumpster, stole clothes off of someone's line, begged on the corner, just to get by, to eat. A lady took pity on me and gave me enough money for a bus ticket," you continued, wiping a single tear away.
"The first bus I saw took me to New Orleans, and I've been here ever since," you concluded, a cold sense of finality settling over you. You didn't realize how heavy the memory had weighed on you, it had sat in the back of your mind, never giving you a moment of peace, haunting you.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to unload on you like that," you said, wiping the tears from your cheeks.
"Never apologize for what's happened to you, or how you've reacted to it," he replied. "I know this won't be much help, but you're a survivor. And you did what you had to, and still managed to end up here."
The simplicity of the statement hit you deeply. He understood. He understood what you went through, where you were coming from. He reached out and wiped away another one of your tears. You leaned into his touch, craving the comfort of his warmth.
You didn't understand how, or why, but somehow he had made it into your fortress, your walled off heart. A place no man had reached, touched or explored. Yet there he was. His thumb still swiped gently across your cheek, his dark eyes staring into your own.
He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his warmth. He was firm and solid, his shoulder the perfect spot to nestle in. This gesture, the simple embrace was overwhelming and your emotions spilling over. You cried, really cried, for the first time in many years. Not just tears streaming from your eyes, or silent drops, you sobbed. Your body racking with each painful outburst, a river of tears flowing over his crisp dress shirt. He held you the entire time, rubbing his hand in small circles across your back, whispering words of comfort, and strength.
Somehow, the mere knowledge of him understanding you, listening to you, opened the dam, releasing all of the pain you had repressed and carried around like an overloaded suitcase.
You cried until you exhausted yourself, and he picked you up, effortlessly and set you in his lap, your arms around his neck, your body folded into his. You rested your head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, soothing, grounding. You could stay like that forever, cocooned in his strength, feeling truly safe for the first time.
You let your eyes droop, knowing that nothing could hurt you while he was there, and you succumbed to sleep, his hand combing gently through your hair, humming a soft melody murmured in a long forgotten tongue.
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You woke up with a start, the morning sun streaming in through the window. You were alone, Elijah's suit jacket draped over you.
You frowned, wondering if perhaps it all had been a dream. If the monster, if the comfort of a stranger had never happened, just a horrible, awful, vivid nightmare. You glanced down and saw the dry bloodstains covering the jacket and realized it hadn't been.
Elijah wasn't a stranger. Not anymore. Something had changed between you, in a matter of hours. He saw all of your exposed, bloody, emotional, broken places, and you showed him a tiny piece of your soul, told him of your past.
You could smell his cologne, his smell lingering in the air, a faint scent left on the jacket. You took a deep breath and slipped the garment back on, smiling sadly.
You were a sucker for a nice suit.
The other smell in the air was coffee and you followed the scent into the kitchen. Rebekah was there, sitting at the table, two cups in front of her.
"Hope you like it strong," she said as you entered, gesturing to a cup of coffee in front of her.
You grabbed it, taking a sip, appreciating the kick of flavor.
"Sleep well?" she asked, glancing at you over the cup of her own.
"Honestly? It's the best night sleep I've had in ages," you admitted, taking a seat, pulling his jacket a little tighter, it felt comforting to have it on, like a security blanket.
She laughed, studying you carefully, her eyes settling on the jacket.
You wondered if she knew, if she was able to tell you had developed a very powerful crush on her brother.
Rebekah didn't know that Elijah was one of your clients, and it felt like a big secret to keep. She never judged you for your job, but she certainly judged those who sought your services.
You felt guilty for not telling her, but it was all so complicated. Your feelings for him were evolving, and you weren't quite sure what they were, or what they meant. She was your only friend and you wanted to confide in her, but you didn't know how.
"Beks, I... I have to tell you something," you said, feeling a bit nervous.
"What is it?" She asked, her eyes narrowing.
"Eli- Elijah has been my client since you introduced me to him," you blurted out.
She sat there, shocked, not saying anything for a moment.
"Elijah. Like my brother... Elijah? The one who was with us last night, and spent the night here? That Elijah?" She said, the look of shock on her face almost comical.
"Yes, that Elijah," you said, a blush creeping across your cheeks.
"My noble brother, who is too honorable and dignified to wear the same tie twice... Has been paying you for sex?" she said slowly, seeming to process the information, before a smirk formed on her lips. "What a delicious twist. I always thought Klaus was the manwhore brother," she added with a cackle.
You blinked, your jaw hanging open, before laughing. The tension easing, knowing she didn't hate you.
You took a deep drink of your coffee, relaxing, laughing. "I'll have you know Elijah is a great client. He's an excellent tipper, not an unkind word to say, and no requests are too kinky or strange," you said with a smile.
Rebekah raised her mug towards you in a cheers motion, clearly amused, but her expression fell a bit when she took you in a little more. "You like him," she stated, her blue eyes studying your face.
"He's my client," you answered defensively.
"Yes, I am aware of the rules you play by, but you like him." She repeated her observation, this time more sure of herself.
"Yeah," you sighed. "Maybe it's wrong to, you know, develop feelings for a client. But something's different, I don't know how to explain it," you finished.
"Well, this explains why he insisted on coming with me to save you last night. And why he's gone all avenging angel this morning. I've never seen him so protective over someone who isn't family," she said, grinning from ear to ear.
Avenging angel? It must have shown on your face because Rebekah launched into the tale of her brother's crusade this morning.
Apparently, he decided to eliminate everyone who associated with your attacker. Including the vampire who sired him and several others. He was methodical, brutal and utterly relentless in his vengeance. Tying them up and letting them burn in the rising sun.
"That's..." You couldn't find the words. It was insane, and it was for you. He was doing this because of you, and it made your heart swell with emotion.
"You're important to him," Rebekah said, her voice soft. "He doesn't do murder sprees for just anyone."
You sat there, processing the information, your mind a whirlwind. You weren't sure what to think, or how to feel, the fluttering in your stomach now a hurricane.
You had never been important to anyone, not like this. Men had always seen you as an object, a means to an end, but never someone who cared about your safety and well-being.
You loved him, even though it broke all your rules, all the careful walls you had built around yourself. He somehow managed to slip past your defenses, stealing his way into your heart and planting seeds for a future.
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It had been a few weeks since the attack, and you were finally starting to feel normal again. You went back to work, seeing your regular clients. 
Rebekah had personally vetted and compelled every single one, and you felt safe and protected. None of them could possibly harm you, not with her looking over you.
The only thing that hadn't returned to normal was your regular once-a-week meetings with Elijah. He never called, or showed up, and it ate away at you.
Were you different to him now? After he learned about your past? Maybe he saw you as damaged goods, no longer a fantasy he could indulge in.
You weren't going to reach out, not after what had happened. He had been so kind and compassionate, but you weren't certain if it had really been genuine, or the situation making him act that way.
It hurt. As much as you tried to push it aside, and pretend it wasn't important to you, it was. Not just the money, but his presence, his kind eyes, the gentle way he cared for you. You missed him, and it broke your heart.
You needed something familiar, something safe. You had worn his jacket to bed every night since the attack, it was comforting, it made you feel safe. But not having him, being uncertain of what was going on, it was frustrating, and painful.
So, when you opened the door and saw him standing there, you were surprised. He had a bag of groceries in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other, an apologetic look on his face.
"Hi," he said, a shy smile on his face. "I'm sorry, for being away for so long."
You opened the door wider, gesturing for him to come inside. He walked past you, a nervous energy radiating off of him.
"It's okay, I figured you found another girl to play with," you replied off-handedly, a small part of you hoping to get a reaction.
He placed the bag on the table and spun around. "I assure you, no other woman holds a candle to your charms."
You laughed, liking his response, so typically him.
"I bought some groceries, and some wine," he said, gesturing to the bag and the bouquet. "Is there anything you would like me to make you for dinner?"
You smiled at him, his thoughtfulness making you blush. "Anything would be fine," you said, watching as he moved around your small kitchen. "You didn't have to do all this," you added, still a little taken aback by his gesture.
"I want to," he said, his brown eyes meeting yours. "I have some things I'd like to say, and I think a nice dinner might help."
You nodded, a nervous energy filling the room. He poured some wine, handing you a glass. You hesitated for a moment, fear creeping in, a million thoughts of how this could go wrong flooding your mind.
He noticed the hesitation and gently took your hand, giving it a kiss.
"If you don't want to drink, that is okay," he whispered, his voice full of understanding.
"No, it's okay," you said, smiling shyly.
You sat at the island, watching him as he worked. He was so at ease, so confident. He chopped and stirred, and the aroma of delicious food filled the air.  You never experienced this sort of thing growing up, the peaceful domesticity. It was strange, sitting there with Elijah, it felt so foreign, yet so normal. So perfect. He moved about the kitchen with a practiced ease, humming softly.
You sipped the wine, the sweet taste filling your mouth. You couldn't remember the last time you had drunk a whole glass, let alone several.
After a while, he put the food on the plates, and handed one to you. It smelled delicious, and looked even better. You took a bite, the flavors exploding in your mouth.
"Wow, this is incredible," you exclaimed, taking another bite.
He chuckled, sitting down next to you on the counter, it was so casual, so relaxed, almost intimate.
"How did you learn how to cook?" You asked, curious.
"I've lived for a thousand years, I think it would be pretty embarrassing if I didn't know how to make a proper meal," he replied, his voice laced with amusement.
"I always forget just how old you are," you said, smirking.
"Does it bother you?" He asked, his voice hesitant.
"No," you said, smiling reassuringly.
You finished eating, the two of you chatting about mundane things, no talk of work or pasts, just simple conversation. It was refreshing, being able to just be, no pressure or expectations.
After you were done, he took your plate and started washing the dishes. You couldn't help but laugh, and he turned around, a look of confusion on his face.
"What's so funny?" He asked, drying his hands.
"You just... cooking, cleaning," you said, trying to compose yourself. "I've never seen anything like it,"
"Is that a bad thing?" He asked, his voice tinged with concern.
"No," you said, grinning, "it's actually really nice,"
"Good," he said, chuckling, then he splashed some soap bubbles at you.
You gasped and glared at him, wiping the suds off your top.
"Oh, you did not just do that," you said, a wicked smile on your lips.
You grabbed the sponge and squirted him, laughing as the soap hit his face. He shook his head, a playful glint in his eyes.
"That's how you want to play it, hmm?" He asked, a mischievous smirk on his lips.
He grabbed the faucet and turned it on, spraying you with water. You squealed and tried to dodge, but he was too fast, your feet slipping on the now wet kitchen floor. You went sliding, and Elijah caught you in his arms, laughing.
Your heart was racing, and you were sure he could hear it, beating furiously in your chest. His warm arms were wrapped around you, and your face was inches from his. He was so close, so solid, so real. The world around you disappeared, all that mattered was him. You wanted to give in, to let yourself feel, but fear crept in.
The past flashed through your mind, the memories, the pain, the shame. You pulled away, your heart aching.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, your eyes full of tears.
He took a step back, his face full of understanding.
"It's okay," he said softly, his hand reaching out and stroking your cheek.
"What did you want to talk to me about? Why are you really here?" You asked, afraid of the answer.
"I..." He paused, his eyes searching yours. "I am no longer in need of your services,"
Your heart sank, your body suddenly feeling cold. It was the answer you were expecting, but it still hurt. After what he saw in that penthouse, after all of his concern and comfort, he was done with you. Your fears were coming true.
You nodded, forcing a weak smile.
"I just..." he trailed off, his eyes still searching yours, his hand still on your cheek. "I love you, and I've been using you," he said, his eyes full of sadness. "That's why I stopped coming, it was... too much. It felt like I was taking advantage of you."
You stared at him, shock washing over you. It felt like the world had stopped moving. Love? A word you never thought would apply to you, yet here was a man, looking at you with such tenderness, such compassion, such pure undiluted love. It wasn't something you could process, love wasn't a feeling you felt worthy of, it wasn't something you believed you deserved. 
"Elijah..." You whispered, your voice barely audible. "You don't love me, you love the escort, the persona,"
"No, I love you, all of you," he said, his eyes locked on yours. "The good, the bad, the messy, all of it. That's why I can't use you anymore, because I want to love you, not just fuck you,"
You stood there, your emotions warring within you. Part of you was overjoyed, the other part was terrified.
You had never been loved before, and the thought of it was both exhilarating and terrifying. But you couldn't deny the pull between the two of you, the chemistry that was always there.
And it wasn't just physical, there was something deeper, something more. Something that was worth taking a chance on.
You reached out, your hand touching his face. You could feel his breath on your skin, his warmth radiating through you. Your heart was beating so fast, your hands trembling, but you pulled him closer, your lips ghosting across his.
He inhaled sharply, his eyes searching yours, his hand gently touching your face. You closed your eyes, his scent filling your nose. You didn't care that he was your client, that you swore this would never happen, or any of the reasons you always believed it would be better to stay distant.
He was the first one to move, kissing you softly, you could feel the love, the passion, the desire. His hands tangled in your hair, the kiss growing deeper, more intense.
You clung to him, your body pressed against his, the world around you fading away. It was perfect, the moment you had been waiting for. The first time you felt like someone actually wanted you, and it was better than anything you had ever imagined.
His hand slid down your body, his fingers brushing against your skin. You could feel the heat rising within you, the need for him growing stronger. He picked you up, his lips never leaving yours, and carried you into the bedroom.
He laid you on the bed, his body hovering over you. He kissed you again, his tongue exploring your mouth, his hands caressing your skin.
You moaned, your body arching into him. You wanted him, all of him. You tugged at his shirt, pulling it off. He helped you, then pulled your top over your head.
He trailed kisses down your neck, to your chest, his tongue flicking over your nipples. You let out a soft moan, your hands tangled in his hair.
He continued his exploration, his lips trailing lower, down your stomach, and stopped at the waistband of your skirt. He hooked his thumbs under it, and slowly pulled it down, his mouth kissing your hips.
He kneeled between your legs, kissing the soft skin of your thighs, waiting for your permission to break the rules.
This wasn't work, or something you were forced to do. This was something new, something special.
You spread your legs further, your arousal glistening in the dim light. He moved up your body, kissing your neck as he peeled off his remaining clothes. You reached up, tracing his jaw, and then cupping his face. He looked up at you, his eyes full of love, lust, and worry.
You nodded your head, giving him the permission he needed. His hands gripped your panties, slowly sliding them down. Your heart pounded in your chest, anticipation building.
He kissed your clit, his tongue exploring the sensitive spot. You let out a soft moan, your body shaking.
He took his time, wanting to taste you, wanting to give you pleasure. You deserved to feel good, to forget the pain, if even just for a moment.
He kept teasing you, his tongue circling your clit, then dancing around it. You were aching for him, the tension inside you building.
You gripped the sheets, your body writhing beneath him. You felt the pressure release, a wave of pleasure washing over you.
You floated on a cloud of bliss, your body tingling with aftershocks. He kissed his way back up to you, his lips finding yours.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
You smiled, cupping his face, pulling him close and kissing him. You had heard that from countless men over the years, but this was the first time you believed it, believed him.
You felt the length of him rubbing against your thigh. You reached down, stroking him, letting him know how much you wanted him.
He was so close, the scent of him filling your senses. He pressed himself against you, his erection teasing you, the ache between your thighs growing.
He wanted to make love to you, to show you what it meant to be with someone who cared about you, who loved you.
He slowly parted your legs, his gaze locked on yours, waiting for the final bit of permission.
You couldn't form the words, so instead you nodded, a shy smile on your lips. He understood, and slowly pushed into you.
You closed your eyes, the feeling of him filling you, stretching you, overwhelming you. It had been so long since anyone touched you like this, and he was doing it so perfectly.
But sudden fear coursed through you, everything replaying in your mind. All the men who had used you, forced you, made you perform. The vampire who dragged you back into your trauma, took away your control.
Elijah could see the distance in your eyes, the disconnect, and he pulled away, slightly, a concerned look on his face.
"It's okay," he said, his voice soft, "we can stop if you want to,"
You blinked, the memory fading, the realization setting in. Elijah wasn't like those men, he was different, caring, gentle. He made you feel safe in a way that no one else ever had.
You smiled at him, your heart swelling with love and affection. You reached up and cupped his face, gently pulling him towards you, your lips meeting his.
You poured your heart into the kiss, your emotions overwhelming you. He rolled the both of you on your sides, his arms wrapping around you. You clung to him, his name a whisper on your lips.
You felt a tingling building, but this wasn't pleasure, it was something else. A sense of euphoria washed over you, and for a brief moment, your whole being was at peace. You felt safe, loved, treasured. Your heart was whole, the pain and darkness gone, replaced by pure happiness and bliss.
You broke the kiss, your eyes wide as you looked at him, your heart pounding. You had never felt anything like it, never thought it was possible. You had experienced great pleasure, had orgasms that left you breathless, but this was something different, something deeper, something beyond description.
You blinked, reality settling in, your thoughts a tangled mess. You had broken your rules, given yourself to him completely, allowed him to touch the most broken and vulnerable part of you.
Your heart.
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laserbeamsky · 3 months
Text
I woke up this morning really inspired for the first time in years and this is the result <3
It’s over much too soon. It lasted about half an hour, sweaty foreheads pressed together, breath mingling, and he didn’t think that was too bad, all things considered. You were still laying on top of him, chest pressed to his, your cheek cupped in the palm of his hand.
He was always breaking things. He remembered the day that Wayne hung all the mugs up on the wall, out of reach, the day Eddie had dropped one and slashed a deep gash into the palm of his hand trying to pick up the pieces. He’d been terrified, blindly fumbling at the shards of ceramic with tears blurring his vision. He’d had to get stitches, and now the old silvery scar was pressed against your cheek. He’d never really believed in anything, but for the first time in his life, he found himself praying, the tips of his fingers pushing into your damp hairline. Please don’t let me break her.
He could feel your heart thudding against his own, slowing back down to normality, becoming steady again. Your hooded eyes met his, and you smiled softly, kiss swollen lips pulling up at the corners, your cheek pressing further into his palm.
“Hey” you almost whispered, as if speaking at a normal volume might break some kind of trance. Your breath smelled sweet, of movie theatre popcorn and blue raspberry slush puppies. He’d leaned in to kiss you while your mouth was still ice cold, and didn’t stop until there was no trace of blue left on your lips.
“Hey” he replied, his heart swelling, the smile on his face so wide he thought it might split open. The corners of his eyes crinkled with the force of it. You leaned in to kiss him again, teeth grazing against his chapped bottom lip, and when you pulled away, you lay your head on the pillow. Your face was an inch away, and he could feel each breath you took fanning softly over his face. But that inch… that damn inch. It was enough for the tiniest sliver of doubt to weasel its way in and settle between his ribs.
Everybody Eddie brought home left with a piece of him. It was his nature to give, to lay it all out on the table, and he was usually pretty good at letting things go. He didn’t expect phone calls, or declarations of undying affection, and when people walked out of the door with a tiny piece of him clutched in their palm, he didn’t ever expect them to return it. But you. You were about to take the biggest piece yet.
“You can go. If you need to. If you’re uh… busy.” His smile wasn’t as wide, plastered onto his face like a mask.
“Do you want me to go?” Usually he’d say sure, no worries, you should probably leave anyway. But the look on your face, the unguarded sincerity with which you looked into his eyes, made his heart skip a beat. It was like someone was in his stomach swinging a bat around, and they’d just hit a home run to lodge right in his throat. He swallowed around the hard lump.
“No.” He thought he sounded like a child. He hoped his eyes weren’t welling up.
“Then i’ll stay.” You pushed a stray curl behind his ear with delicate fingertips, the gesture so fond and so unfamiliar that if eddie wasn’t on the verge of tears before, he definitely was now. As you pressed your lips to his one more time, the lump in his throat turned to honey, seeping into his blood, warming his skin, setting the hairs on his arms standing on end. As you pulled away, forehead pressed to his once again, he cupped your face once more, thumb tracing along your bottom lip.
Careful. Don’t break her. He swallowed, eyes scrunching closed, his lips catching the corner of your mouth one more time.
I love you. Don’t ever leave me. “You hungry?” he said instead.
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wannaeatramyeon · 5 months
Text
Jake Kim x Reader: Mother in Law
Requested. G/N. Meeting Minseon for the first time.
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"You want to bring someone over for dinner?" Curiosity colours Minseon’s question.
Jake imagines his mom on the other end of the phone. Hand stilling, cigarette halfway to her lips. One eyebrow quirked at the unusual request.
She asks for the name of the guest and Jake tells her.
"And is this Y/N a particular someone?"
"They're... someone to me," Jake doesn't hide his grin, "I'm serious about them and I want to introduce them to you."
About time, Minseon thinks. Rumours of her son's dating life has reached her ears months ago
"Very well. See you Saturday."
.
.
Minseon's eyes flicker down to your's and Jake's joined hands and back up again, giving you both a polite, cordial smile.
Suddenly, you feel like the contact is inappropriate. Too intimate. Jake must agree, because between the two of you, you don't know whose palm is sweatier.
You untangle your fingers, and bow. Ninety degrees, parallel to the ground. Showing Minseon the respect her station and status deserves.
Returning upright, you take the bouquet from Jake and hold it out to his mom. Jake had said it was unnecessary, but how could he expect you to meet her for the first time empty handed?
You clear your throat, "Thank you for having me over. It's lovely to meet you, Mom!" and immediately wish you never said anything at all.
Mom?!
You take one look at her shocked expression and feel your cheeks bloom. Jake tries to mask his chuckle as a cough and receives a sharp elbow in the side.
"Ow!"
Minseon blinks in surprise at your familiarity. Hmm, she knew her son can be lively, so it's only fitting that he found someone similar.
"Mom is fine," she says, "Thank you. These flowers are beautiful." She smiles, and you're taken aback by how much Jake resembles her.
.
.
You sit through a reasonably comfortable dinner.
Minseon now knows all about your family history.
Where your parents grew up, what they do, what you want to do, your grade point average. How you do fine with Math but struggle with grammar and tenses. The dog you had as a child, the fish you had as a young teen, the scar on your hand from your grandparent's cat.
Something about her, despite first impressions, welcomes you. Makes it feel like you're never talking too much, taking up too much time.
Then when you apologise for rambling, she tells you not to be ridiculous.
But the conversation shifts.
Minseon asks if you know about the Kim family history, what Gapryong Kim does, did. What Jake Kim actually does. You say yes but she gives you a rather grizzly and brutal history lesson anyway.
When she excuses herself, you release a breath you didn't know you were holding.
"Mom is..." Jake scratches the back of his head, face contrite and apologetic. "Just making sure you know what you're getting yourself into. Sorry. That was intense."
"Is she always like this?"
"Sort of." Jake picks up his chopsticks and picks at the leftover beef ribs. Munching thoughtfully, he adds, "I thought she might be better with company. I've never actually brought anyone over before."
.
.
"Your dad had some... undesirable traits in a partner." Years old wounds flare up after dinner. Over coffee and delicate pieces of cut fruit. Bitterness and anger flashes across Minseon's face before she regains her composure and takes a careful sip.
"If Jake ever gives you any trouble, you let me know."
"Mom..."
Jake rolls his eyes; is about to say that he is nothing like his dad, at least not in that regard.
But then he sees her place her hand over yours, giving you a reassuring squeeze. The same protective, maternal look in her eyes that he is so familiar with, and he can't bring himself to say anything to ruin this sweet moment.
Just give him time, and he'll show his mom, and you, how different from his dad he is.
Jake rests his hand on your knee. Big and warm. Holding hopeful futures and kept promises.
351 notes · View notes
dev1lm4n · 8 months
Text
sinful reunion
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masterlist | ko-fi (help me survive college :/)
pairing: engaged!joel miller x f!reader
summary: frustrated with how things were, you left joel and jackson for a whole year. today, you decide to give him a little visit and figure out that he's indeed engaged! joel trapped you in his bathroom to make you feel better
word count: 5k
warnings: explicit (18+), extreme dubcon, mean joel miller, fingering, infidelity, again.. joel miller is a mean, mean man.
note: do COMMENT and REBLOG if you enjoyed this :) i'm so exhausted from college i'm literally gonna pass out after i post this
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Spring flew swiftly by, and summer came; and if the quaint city had been beautiful at first, it was now in the full glow and luxuriance of its richness. The great trees, which you remembered looking shrunken and bare when you left, had now burst into strong life and health. Branches doubled in length and girth, mantle of bright green draped over deep browns. Masses of white flowers brought memories of the late winter. A bubbling cloud of hot steam evaporated off your exposed forearm. The rolled sleeves settling right above your elbow was damp with sweat, same thing goes for below your arms and between your thighs. You sighed. The folded porno magazine you’ve been using as a shield above your forehead didn’t help much after all.
If it’s not for that old, obscene, grouch of a man, you wouldn’t have returned in the height of summer.
Things hadn’t changed much.
People are still as hopeful as ever. Their eyes shone with a renewed brightness, as if a full stomach and a roof over their head was simply enough to keep them satiated. They still bake apple pies, shovel their walkways, go to work (even if it's not to the infamous Wall Street), return home and share a familiar tequila with a friend or fiend. People are still people. And the pretend normalcy drove you insane. It’s confining and overall suffocating. 
Being safe ailed you. You couldn’t be that lady in old commercials. Plaid apron over her chest, sandwiches on the table, husband and kid smiling at her happily. You couldn’t kiss your husband goodbye or craft lunch boxes for your kid. You couldn’t live if it wasn’t on the edge of death.
You tried. For Joel, you swore you’d try.
It’s been a full year since you fled. Maxine, your dear horse being the only witness to your escape. That and the night guard you threatened with a shotgun, an unloaded one you’d argue, but it’d still have you in big trouble if it was reported. With a few old friends or two, you managed to slip back in discreetly. You disguised yourself as a patrol unit. Practical jeans, some stitches torn apart from prolonged use, and a khaki button up. Boots that’s dipped in dust and dirt tight around your calves, a bold contrast to the neat wooden boards underneath. Your eyes landed on the welcome mat in front of his door. A shrilling memory invaded your head‒ how you picked it out for him, all smiles and giggles at the corny line printed atop.
You stepped on the mat, mocking it by grinding your dirty heel atop.
Then you knocked. Precisely three times.
Maybe you shouldn’t have come. It was shameless of you to return. Cruel, even.. disgusting for you to abandon someone who’s clearly dependent on you. 
He lived for you. Every morning he made sure to wake you up with a gentle kiss on your lips, or your clit if he’s being kind. Every night he’d always tell you how much you meant to him, never an I love you, but always in the lines of dangerous situations and how he’d save you from it. You made a promise to stay. A promise to accept a ring around your pretty fingers when the time comes; doesn’t have to be shiny, you said, anything will do. But then you left. While he was out, keeping the city safe from any potential threats, you buckled up and tugged on your horse’s reins. Maybe you shouldn’t have come. Maybe you should just-
You jolted, even stumbled backwards when the large door swung open in one grand movement.
In panic, your eyes oscillated. His eyes were the same shade of brown you remembered him by, though this time it was much rounder, as if he’s truly surprised. Then it came to meet his hooked nose, the one you’d poke everytime you’re laid side by side post-coitus,. And his cracked lips, oh how you remembered kissing them better. 
Joel Miller hadn’t changed one bit. It freaked you out, how he looked the same as he did when he practically proposed to you or when you promised to still love him even when he’s no longer young and strong. Your breath quickened. Your heart froze, cold sweat dribbled down your temple even when the air’s hot and balmy. You clutched onto the rolled magazine. The salacious pages of nude girls in cowboy hats creased at the strength of your bare hands. Is he going to say something? Anything? You’d rather have him furious than silent.
“Who is it, honey?”
The air thinned.
“The turkey’s cooked, but it’s kinda burnt.” The voice giggled. “Oh, who is this?”
You counted to ten to ground yourself.
One.. Two..
“Just.. just an old friend,” he muttered.
There was a girl. A pretty one at that, standing on her tippy toes as she attempted to look past Joel’s broad frame to observe you. Her tanned skin glowed like a newly polished silverware under the summer sun. A cascade of glossy, ebony hair framed her round face, falling in gentle waves which closely resembled swaying palm trees in coastal beaches. You noticed that it was adorned with delicate, ornate hairpins as well. One of flowers and the other of a classic shape. Was it from him? He used to do that for you, picking up small items to gift like a bird in need of mating. The thin gold strap around your neck was from him, a gift from when the two of you were still operating high-risk jobs around Boston. A proof that you’re mine, he spoke that time.
Joel made the conscious decision to move to the side. Now you could see her more. How she’s cladded in a loose shirt with short sleeves rolled to her shoulders, how her shorts fit perfectly around her smooth thighs, how her supple breasts spilled out of the neckline. In any way you’d think of it, she was the better option. A masterpiece in the Louvre museum, a best-selling New York Times book. She’d be a model if the world wasn’t infested with flesh-eating nuisance. Your head lowered (you’re staring too much!), opting to scrutinize the details of your boots’ mud yellow strings. 
This was a bad decision. You shouldn’t have come. If only you weren’t curious of whether he’d get on his knees and beg for you to stay. If only you weren’t curious of whether he’d embrace you back in his large arms. If he’d fuck you ‘til your little brain stop working.
“Well then, what are you waiting for?” The feminine voice spoke up. “Invite your friend in, Joel.”
“No- haha, no it’s alright,” you panicked.
“No,” she reached for your hand. The free one, not the one with the porn magazine. “Com’on. I cooked a big dinner tonight! The more, the merrier.”
“I really shouldn’t,” you tried to convince her.
Her soft, greasy hands ‒ probably from stuffing the turkey she’s claimed to make ‒ led you through the entrance despite your many reasons. You found it a little funny that you still memorized the layout of Joel’s house like the back of your hand, like an old corny song you couldn’t quite get out of your head. The dining room was to the left, you remembered. It was just as you left it. An old, dull rectangular table sat in the middle. It used to be only filled with bread and fruits you pick up from the market. Sometimes you’re diligent enough to create a sweet jam, but there was never a fresh meal on the table. There’s no time for that. He would often times heat up a can of Chef Boyardee when you’re sick, or when he’s ruined your little hole so much that you’re pretty much bedridden, but that’s about it/
“Your name is?” you questioned, eyes still roaming around the room.
“Summer and yours?”
You mentioned your name half-mindedly as you sat down on one of the creaky chairs. You opted for the one on the left, your favorite one as it always gave you a five-star view of the lovely trees beyond. The room was much cleaner, curtains drawn and ceilings dusted. You’d even bet money that ‘Summer’ had also dusted all the compartments of the chandelier, wiped each and every window panel, and vacuumed the rotten patterned carpet underneath. The rounds of your pupils settled back on the sight unfolding ahead of you; how the Joel Miller, the same person who needed an entire year or two to be comfortable in expressing his feelings to you, led his new lover by the waist. He then proceeded to pull her chair back to aid her, a gentle smile on his face at all times.
He changed.
He looked exactly the same, but there was just.. something off about him. Was he a doppelganger by chance? Joel Miller is never warm. He’s naturally a tough lover. Reluctant, even mean at times, but right now he’s acting like the picture-perfect husband. A righteous man, which you knew he ain’t.
“So where’d y’all know each other from?” 
Her lovely, cheery voice pulled you out of your dazed state. You raised your head slightly to flash a small smile her way. The chair creaked once more at Joel’s weight as he settled on your right, heavy frame and all extremely obvious from the corner of your eyes. A man, his lover, and his sort-of-ex having dinner in the late afternoon of a warm summer day‒ how ironic! You couldn’t even look at him, because sparing him a glance meant that you had to look at those manipulative eyes of his. Those browns that could impose a certain feeling deep in your chest, whether hatred, fear, or something close to love.
“Work,” he spoke up, “used to deliver packets.”
Half the truth. Packets? Sure, but not ordinary ones.
“Mhm. We arrived at Jackson together.”
As lovers, you’d like to add.
“Long time friends then?” Summer beamed a sweet smile your way. 
Guilt pooled in your stomach almost instantly.
“Yup.”
“Oh well, me and Joel met last Winter. He’s fond of the horses and I work at the stables so things worked out,” she mentioned dreamily, “the winter festival’s our first date.”
An eerie tension stood between you and him. It was thick, as thick as blood and as nasty as pus on a wound left unattended. 
He stood up after a moment or two to help slice open the thick turkey and only then did you dare to look at him. To ogle at his large forearms that’s tightly gift-wrapped in a thin breathable shirt, to dig deep into where his veins start and where it ends, to finally relish in the sight of his thick, bushy hair. It’s been awhile. A long time actually since you get to properly look at a man. You continued to watch as he sliced a chunk and placed it right on top of your empty plate, the knife he’s holding reflecting his tight-lipped smile your way. The winter festival’s supposed to be your thing. The two of you’s thing, where you’d gift each other a surprise and smoke a blunt or two and maybe fuck, but you left.
“That’s nice,” you replied, albeit a little dry.
“He’s a nice man,” Summer chimed in. “Kind, caring, a true Southern gentleman that is.”
You could argue on that.
“Is he now?”
“True thing that is. Swear on my life,” she continued. “Must be nice having him as a friend.”
“Well, don’t toot my horn too much, darlin’.”
There it was. That masculine drawl. That voice that’d have you begging on your knees if he asked you to. You’d commit the greatest crime‒ no, you’ve commit notable crimes just to have him stay right by your side. Just to have him acknowledge what you’re capable of, so he’d take you under his wings in the depth of Boston’s trenches, because protection from him meant a good life. Maybe that’s all you’ll ever be to him, a little bird to protect. And maybe that’s all he’ll ever be to you, a protector in times of need.
“It’s a little warm here in Jackson,” you chuckled. “A cold beer might help a lot.”
“Oh sorry, honey, we don’t drink alcohol ‘round here.” She sounded apologetic, but you swore her almond eyes were judging you for a second.
“You don’t?”
“Nope,” Summer leaned her head to the side. “Been going to church these days. Pastor said it’s better to pray than indulge in past addictions. Ain’t that right, Joel?”
“That’s right, honey,”
Joel Miller is a church-goer now? For the first time in forever, you had the courage to look him in the eye. He was looking right back at you when you looked, though he had one of those expressions you couldn’t quite decipher. His tired eyes were hooded, enough that the top and bottom curve of his dark pupils are nowhere to be seen, along with a much obvious glint of mischief. It was either morbid curiosity, rooted hatred, or desires of past addictions as Summer puts it. The strands on your brow bone twitched ever so slightly, as if in pure disbelief that a man like him would kneel for a God. It’s not that sinners couldn’t repent. It’s him that you knew could never change. You took a bite out of the supple meat, never leaving his eyes as you do so. Maybe.. just maybe he’d crack under pressure.
“You go to church too?” Summer questioned, mouth full of boiled asparagus.
“No, not really.” You chuckled awkwardly. “There’s not a lot of churches out in the wild.”
“Ah, that’s right,” she hummed. “Why don’t you go to church with us this Sunday? A lot of fun y'know.”
You plastered on a smile, before briefly scooping some of the stringy meat up your mouth.
“I’ll consider it.”
Joel was the first one to snip the ungodly attraction‒ his eyes torn away to meet Summer’s much brighter gaze. Your gut tightened, gag reflex emphasized even more at the sight. Joel Miller was yours, that’s all you could remember despite the extent you took to avoid him, and having him give his precious attention to someone other than you brought a sense of disdain. He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn't land his eyes on anyone other than you, weren’t you the best thing he ever had? It took awhile to school your expression to a level of believable nonchalance. You found the vintage canvas hung atop of the fireplace a great help in distracting yourself. It’s easy to get lost in every stroke, every clash of colors, instead of the green man squeezing himself between your heart chambers.
“Oh, when did you-” you paused mid sentence.
A ring. 
“Ah.”
Your vision blurred, splotches of red and blue tearing at the edges.
“Engaged, huh?”
A solitary engagement ring encircled her long finger, miraculously preserved by time’s embrace. A relic at times like these. You watched as it glimmered under the orange hues, jaw propped up on your palm to stop it from gaping. A small, radiant stone set in tarnished silver‒ the object mocked you silently, a red flag in front of an agitated bull, it’s purposefully making you reel into the depth of your hatred. Where the you one year ago rested in peace, where the you you’ve been trying to erase off the planet’s surface hibernated, and everything’s starting to resurface all at once. The need. The desperation. The desire to be wanted by something.. someone you couldn’t acquire entirely. You laughed. A dry one at that. Might even sound condescending if it were a tad bit shorter.
He fucking proposed to her. 
Of course he did.
Of course he had to change his ways after you.
You don’t deserve being treated right. She does.
“Oh, you noticed,” she giggled, the noise shrill in your ears. “Just last month actually. We were having dinner and I-”
“Sorry, I..”
You were suffocating, chest inflated twice the size.
“Feel a little sick. Gonna go to..” you held your hand over your lips, genuinely feeling like emptying your entire stomach. “To the bathroom.”
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You stared at your own reflection, pitiful, glazed with a layer of disappointment and grief. The vision you had for this visit slowly crumbled. Every unfulfilled dream, every missed opportunity, and every question left unanswered converged into a heartache‒ dull yet throbbing, coursing through every inch of your skin and crawling much deeper. The laughter and conversations you had with him seemed so.. distant, as if they were mere echoes of what once existed a million lightyears ago. You held yourself, worn down fingers clinging on your forearms, nails digging down onto the warm skin underneath. What were you expecting? For him to mourn your exit for the rest of his life? Perhaps. Joel Miller was great at making you feel like shit, but today takes the cake.
Leaving was the only thing on your mind and so you gripped the rusty door handle. A quick exit, you knew you were good at that. Though instead of a brightly lighted hallway, your chest collided with a tough chest wrapped in a flannel shirt. A sandalwood, musky flannel shirt you might add and all those plans you had in mind dwindled down like a damp paper airplane. Plan A, B, and C were quickly crossed out on the chalkboard. Frozen, your lips trembled in fear. You stumbled backwards. Boots thudding against the old tiles, you’re afraid. Chest inflated with fear, you’re terrified!
“Move, Joel.”
Silence.
“Fucking move. Get out of my way.”
You threw quick, meaningless punches on the broad of his chest. It did nothing but made him get bolder with his actions. He took a step back, which you’re grateful for, but not when you realize that it was to lean back against the bathroom’s door. You’ve come a long way from how meek and helpless you were in the QZ, managing to survive the scary outside world for a whole year and keeping all your limbs attached, but you knew that you’d never manage to budge his weight. He was heavy. Used to be a massive ball of muscles, though now slightly worn down by his age. Joel threw you a look. A dirty, demeaning one that’s always been reserved for you. Only you.
“Fuckin' hell are you deaf?”
You bubbled up.
“Fuck you and your little play house. Going to church? Should repent the many souls you took yourself,” you seethed. “You’re just a big asshole on legs y’know that? Now fuck off. It’s a fucking mistake coming to see you.”
You stormed his way. Big mistake. He took you by the shoulder. Rough fingers dug deep into where your bone sits, his knee quick to slot itself between your legs. He was quick to switch the dynamic, to be the offensive one instead as he had you pinned on the wall. The frail wooden bathroom door creaked at the contact, its hinges banging against one another. You looked like one of those dead butterfly displays, spread out forcefully to show your entire potential. Was he going to murder you? Was he going to bang your head against the mirror and leave you there to bleed? He looked like it. With those blown out pupils, you're not even sure if he’s going to keep you alive or dead. If he's going to finally end your misery at last.
“You’re gonna kill me?” You tried to shove his chest back, but it’s no use. “Gonna choke me to death?”
“No!” The grip he had on your shoulder never once loosened, even at your viscous accusations. “You really think I’d kill you?”
“I don’t know.” Your eyebrows sunken in sorrow.
“You don’t know?””
“You’re not the man I once knew, Joel.”
“I’m-”
“I don’t know you anymore! You’re not the same.” Your feet tried to tackle his legs, a move he taught, but he stayed unbudged. “You’re kind, attentive.. you’re there, Joel. You’re present in time. You’re never present with me.”
“That’s not true.”
“Oh fuck off, Joel. You’re not gonna gaslight me.”
That had him briefly loosening the grip around your shoulders. You were quickly met with his cold finger tips, grazing the soft skin of your cheeks, only to settle on your cracked, bloody bottom lip. In a haze, you’re unprepared for the hand slithering its way onto your throat. It squeezed tight enough to impede your airway for a brief second or two, only to loosened when your eyes grew teary. You gasped for air immediately.
“You left!”
“You proposed to her!”
His expression toughened. The Joel Miller you knew was back. The cruel one with tendencies to abandon, to be hollow of true meaningful feelings, and he was inching closer. His soft scruff brushed against the tip of your ears. Warm puffs of air made you turn your head to the side, avoiding his serpent-like hold. He's quick to guide you by your jaw when you start straying off.
“Didn’t know if you’re alive or dead.”
“Oh I bet you’d be enthralled if I were dead,” you chuckled humorlessly. “You hated me, Joel.”
“I was worried,” he continued, ignoring your comments entirely. 
He placed a gentle kiss on your temple, slow and steady as if you’d vanish into dust once more if he was too rough, and proceeded to smother sloppy kisses down your cheek and onto your neck. It glided like warm butter or sunscreen on a beach day. Joel never forgot the way in which you enjoyed getting those sweet spots below your jaw sucked, a mark to show his claim over you, to show his ownership even if you had to drape a shawl over it every time you had to shop for groceries or go on patrols. You weren’t as pretty and prim today though. You were untamed, always attempting to pull yourself away from him, to avoid his rough fingers and needle-like beard.
“Went on a search team every day for a whole month,” he hummed. “What if my sweetheart’s bleeding out in the midst of winter? Low visibility and endless snowstorms. What if you’re shot dead or worse, turned into one of those creatures?”
“But you’re a smart little minx, ain’t ya?” he huffed, his fingers gentle as it slowly popped the buttons to your shirt. His musky scent infiltrated your head. You’re drunk on him. “Threw a tantrum so big you disappeared on me.”
“No, Joel, we- we can’t,” you forced those words out, even when your soft breasts were spilled out of your chest. Those sensitive peaks were already stiff, you’d lie and say it’s simply because of the cold, but there’s no such thing. “Can’t- you’re en- engaged..”
He toyed with your nipples, squeezing and tugging on the right one before giving the same attention to the left. His eyes were dark, pupils dilated as he swirled around the sensitive skin with his coarse fingers. Your breath hitched and your chest spasmed. Every inch of morality left your headspace at the twinge of pleasure, your knees grew weak and he had to prop you up against his strong shoulders to aid you.
“You’re cheatin- oh fuck..”
“I am, huh?” he chuckled lowly. “You don’t want this then? Want me to leave?”
“No! No, please please,” you begged as his fingers carefully began to undo the stiff belt around your waist. He tugged on your zippers, tortuously, slowly unraveling the pretty skin he’s been missing so goddamn much. “I need you..”
“Needy minx,” he insulted teasingly. “Shameless, aren’t ya? Didn’t ya just say ya hate me?”
You whimpered. This shouldn’t be happening. This wasn’t in any of the plans you’ve concocted, it was just pure desire. He felt sinfully good. So warm and firm against your body, so strong and dependable. His shoulder proved to be the perfect place to bury your head into, muffling out the noises you’re prone to make when he shoved his entire palm down your panties. Joel Miller didn’t tolerate the misdemeanor. The hand he had around your neck tightened ever so slightly, before he abruptly pushed you back onto the wooden door. The hard material thudded against your back, resulting in a soft, breathless whine for more. He might be a mean, mean man for afflicting such things, but you’re even more insane for tolerating it.
“Ah, look at you,” he hummed, fingers tapping slow beats onto the hood of your clitoris. “No one fucked you good enough out there.”
You shook your head no. Annoyed, Joel slid his index and middle finger down onto your slit. He cumulated the slickness gathered around your pathetic little hole, before he slid it back up to tease. Up and down. Up and down. Then a full circle. The motion left you breathless, thighs bucking up against his hand, but he’d give you a light slap on the thigh if that happens.
“Oh.. you haven’t fucked anyone else out there?” he cocked his head arrogantly. “Dunno if I can believe a pretty girl like you. After all..”
He had the audacity to slip his finger in. A whole knuckle down your entrance, which is much more than you anticipated. Almost instantly, a sticky clear substance started dribbling out, gushing all around the foreign object infiltrating your cunt. It’s been so long, far too long that you kept yourself untouched. You could basically be categorized as a virgin again at this point. It wasn’t a deliberate decision, it’s just that no one turned you on this much. No one could shove their fingers inside you without getting their head blown off. No one but him.
“You’re not the girl I once knew.”
He turned your little insults right back at you. A single tear dribbled down your warm cheeks, hot and invasive, your fragile heart torn into two and stomped on the ground. Joel retaliated by pressing his lips right onto yours. Starting out soft and smooth, gentle and reverent, as if it was his way of apologizing and professing his undying love for you, but then it grew rougher and unrecognizable. A clash of teeth, a vicious fight for dominance. You had to put up a little fight, show him the kind of girl you’ve turned into, but when he eased a second finger down the tight rings of your cunt, it’s all over. You squirmed, desperately grinding down against his rough palm.
“Fuck me!”
“What was that?”
“Fuck me, Jo-”
A knock.
Your eyes blew wide open. The soft fluorescent lights flickered above, casting an eerie shadow that danced across Joel’s expression. You let out a soft whimper, eyes pressed into a crescent shape as you felt the need to cry out of fear and guilt, a sobering shot that made you realize how wrong this was. How disgusting this is. Immoral. Even when he was still three knuckles deep inside your pussy, even when you knew you couldn’t push him away. Your knuckles grew white as it clung onto the fabric of his flannel. He didn’t pay any mind to the interruption, instead, he continued to thrust his dripping fingers in, reaching around to find that squishy spot of yours. The one that’d send stars onto your vision.
“Are you okay in there? I didn’t know why you got sick..”
The muffled voice strengthened the guess you had in your head. It’s Summer, the girl with the engagement band around her fingers, the girl who’s supposed to have his two fingers deep inside her cunt. Your heart raced like a wild stallion, thunderous beats resonating in your ears. A small moan barged its way out your lips when he pressed on your clit once more with his thumb, he quickly guided your jaw back to face him with his free hand. Joel’s expression hardened, brows furrowed and lips pressed into a tight-line, then his mouth contorted into shapes. A wordless order to stay quiet and respond accordingly. You nodded, bottom lip slotted between your teeths.
“Was it the turkey I cooked? Oh god.. it’s my first time cookin’ in. I didn’t know that it’d be terrible. I’m so sorry, do you need some help in there? I can-”
“No.. oh! No.. no.. I’m fi- aaagh- fine.”
Your eyes darted around the small space, looking for any means to escape, but the solitary window was far too small to be of any use. Panic had seized you, but Joel’s fingers brought you back where he needed you to be. On the edge of an orgasm that you knew was going to melt your brain and make you go dumb.
“Really? You don’t sound too good.. I could maybe cook you up a remedy.. Oh, or we can go to the infirmary together? Just I don’t-”
“No.. ooh. Summer, I’m- shit- Summer, I’m fine.”
“Oh.. okay then. I’ll be waiting outside. Um, do you maybe know where Joel is? Kinda wanna see if he has some meds for you.”
Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you tried to navigate your way to release. The thumb he had on your clitoris started rubbing faster, tighter circles, leaving you on the very edge of a dangerous cliff.
“Dunno- oh fuck.”
He’s in there with you for fucks sake. Her fiancé’s here fingerfucking you!
“Gonna cum,” you muttered out a little too loud.
“What was that?”
“Gonna.. mmph.. Gonna come out so- sooghn.”
Your knees buckled, for once he allowed it, and you buried your face onto the crook of his neck. His fingers continued to thrust in the perfect rhythm, fucking back in the arousal that’s slowly dripping down. You weren’t shy in grinding back down onto his palm, neither were you shy when you came all over his fingers, the remnants left in an embarrassing pool down your trousers. His thumb tickled your clitoris, making sure the sensitive nub deserved all the pleasure it could get as he watched you crumble. Everything was just how you remembered it. Sinful, warm, and helpless.
“Okay.. I’ll go look for Joel in the backyard shed!”
526 notes · View notes
chrollohearttags · 16 days
Note
Requests open? You don't know what you unleashed
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It's that time of the month and I've been craving reiner like a mf (side note is it just me or do you crave human touch sm but at the same time the idea of any male rats Ik irl touching me, repulses me)
Anywhooooo if you don't mind the idea of reiner being such a simp for you, showing you sm love and affection stretch marks and all after a rare (inwardly not so rare) day of feeling like shit 🥹
Or reiner throwing you around and slapping you in the face with his dick, I'm easy
(Side side note: I also been having this viral thought of Reiner having a girl And he cheats on her with you constantly, sometimes practically in front of her face, telling you how your better and he will leave her and she can't satisfy him like you can, if you don't like that kind of stuff ignore 🤠)
frennn, omg why are we just alike?! 😭 ovaries be jiggling like a mf, begging to be scrambled but I wouldn’t dream of letting those creatures near me. but ask and you shall receive! 🫶🏾 I literally love allllll of these so much, I have no idea which one to choose. I can’t stop thinking about, him more so than usual slsksks 😫😭 so ykw, we bout to combine all three LMAO! (mainly bc I love the idea of Reiner being a scumbag)
themes + such: infidelity, slight angst, rei is an asshole (not to you! 😭)body worship, pussy eating, reader has stretch marks/slight dysmorphia, body shaming, soft to rough sex, full nelson, daddy’s used, he picks reader up
WHEN SHE’S NOT AROUND
“Rei…wait, we can’t do this..”
“And why not? Who’s going to stop us?”
“No one and that’s the problem..”
the constant back and forth between two lovers, ensued among the fray of dishevelment and lust..lust that had driven you both to the point of no return. Truth be told, you had no good reason to be together. Nothing good would come of this in the long run and yet, here you were…lying in the bed of another woman, with her man’s hands roaming your body. His lips latched onto your nipples and his fingers plunged deep into your aching center. Riding them to bliss as you cried out his name; echoing the walls of her home..it was a disgrace and yet, you couldn’t pull away. You couldn’t let him go..and he felt the same.
“Please..don’t try to pretend like you actually give a shit about her..” His voice seemingly mocking you..it certainly wasn’t his normal demeanor but the one thing you had come to accept about Reiner is that he was not perfect. Not by a long shot…he was certainly not some perfect gentleman that checked all of the boxes. He was handsome, successful, alluring, one hell of a lover but he wasn’t yours!..not even close. That much signified by the silver band on his right ring finger. Married to the girl you despised more than anything. You’d never hated anyone in your entire life but that snooty little blonde bitch was a shoe in for the first spot. Make no mistake, you weren’t afraid of her; more so she was intimidated by you and the thought of fucking her husband unbeknownst gave you a thrill like none other. But your conscious was heavy with thoughts of karma..how things would play out for you guys in the long run..what if he decided that one day he no longer wanted you and by some weird circumstance, decides to make it work with his wife? You’d be out and no one could feel an ounce of pity. You were the adulterer, the harlot, the side chick, mistress..but you were the only one he wanted.
“..because I don’t. Matter of fact, I hope she walks in here right now. I wanna see her face while I’m fucking you..” the deep tone in his voice rattling off into a laugh. Suddenly, he’d tug those thick digits out and shove them between your lips. Allowing you to pacify and taste yourself…watching you become so salacious for him never grew old and it wasn’t something he was ready to let go of. Not now and not ever!..meanwhile, he’d kneel to the floor, caressing your thick thighs in an attempt to quell you. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look today? Hmm?…I feel like you should know that..” that deep southern drawl feeding you those sweet nothings, curling your toes at the sound. He could stay here forever, with you and no one else. Staring into the warmth of those beautiful brown eyes...the truth was, you hadn’t been feeling your best. You worked in the same building as his girl and as one of the lead makeup artists, for the brand that she and many other modeled for, it was difficult seeing women that looked nothing like you garner all of the attention and praise. Not to mention, hearing their snide remarks on the slick about your body type..about how you and others were not a fit for the pieces; literally and figuratively. You were used to it..working in the upper echelon came with discrimination on at least five different levels. But you let it roll off of your back. However, you were having a rather off day. Honestly, the last thing you wanted to do was to be weighed down with the tension of knowing you were sleeping with someone else’s man. That was until you were gifted an anonymous bouquet of flowers..you had no question who the sender was and when he sent you a text message asking to see you, you were glad to accept. Now here you were being spoiled in more ways than one. “You know I love you too, right? You’re my everything..” “Yes, Rei..I love you too..”
Currently, his lips were latching onto your clit, hands firmly planted on your thighs and clawing into them. He needed to taste you..consume your scent and flavor until he was full. That’s the way it was with Reiner..he was a selfish man. Downright gluttonous and he’d have his cake and devour it too! “Good…because I don’t want you to take it personal when I fuck you like a whore tonight.” Smirking up at you and causing you to chew at your lip with a wide smile. Just then, he’d toss your leg across his shoulder and begin the rapid ascent into feasting on your cunt. It wasn’t long before those juices were trickling down his chin and you were trembling. You could’ve jumped from your own flesh at any minute. The way his tongue lapped at your bud, delicately navigated your folds..prodded your entrance..no one treated you better. Hence why his wife would simply have to share. “Oh fuck!…yes, Rei..right there..”
he knew that you were exactly where he wanted you..and there was no way he was letting you go until he got what he desired….suddenly, he’d pull away with his mouth only to quickly substitute your pleasure with his fingers whilst he spoke to you. Feeding you every positive affirmation he could think of…complimenting your beautiful smile down to your legs; rubbing them gently. He didn’t just admire you, he practically worshipped you. Leaving kisses on those stretch marks displayed across your pudgy tummy. He loved all of it and thought that you should do the same. He was adamant in letting you know there was nothing for you to be ashamed of. “You’re so fucking sexy. Trust me..she’s not even half the woman you are. Never could be, baby. The next time she says something, just think about the fact that you have the one thing she doesn’t..” he’d declare, proceeding to spit onto your folds and continue licking. Not once did he break eye contact because he wanted to see all of the expressions that came across your face..he was right. She’d brag and boast about her husband who loved her so much to anyone who’d listen. That was at least in the public eye..however, behind the closed doors of a dressing room, crying into the arms of her best friend, she’d confess that he hadn’t touched her in months. That he seemed distant and cold and she was worried about an affair. Your kind nature couldn’t bear harboring such a secret but the side of you that wanted revenge for watching that bully’s abuse to other girls; bragging about her appearance, wealth and everything else she could flaunt as an adolescent, up into adult hood…you were enjoying this. You wanted the bitch to suffer and quite frankly, see her man getting fucked by the very type of woman she swore she was superior to!
“Lay back f’r me, sweetheart and put those fucking legs up..”
By this point, Reiner’s entire demeanor had seemed to shift. He was still very much hungry for that delicious nectar but he was done with the sweet, charming, innocent demeanor. Quite frankly, it couldn’t come soon enough. You needed him to take what was his! To be dominant, aggressive and pound every single ounce of tension from your body. You were sopping wet with a linear trail of slick, seeping down your slit and he had just the plan to add to the mess. Quickly standing to his feet, he’d take the place of your palms and squeeze the supple flesh of your thighs..he’d already previously undressed so when he came up, that erect cock did along with it as well. He was aching for you..so much so, the only way he’d be able to gain relief was to bury himself inside of you. That’s when you’d feel him lob a trail of spit onto your folds before rubbing that tip against you…you couldn’t handle another moment of being teased so luckily…
“You’re about to get all of this dick, I hope you know that..”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing…take this pussy. Fuck me..”
..he didn’t make you wait long! A moment later, you’d feel that tip split open your folds and enter your warmth. It felt damn near divine being inside of you. He practically trembled; cursing aloud when he was met with the sensation of your walls constricting around him. This was all he wanted, all he needed and he’d be content as long as he could have you. “This pussy’s so fucking tight…goddamn, she never feels this good.” Chuckling to himself because he couldn’t believe just how starkly different his experience was with you and his wife. Oftentimes, he found himself bored or not even remotely aroused. She’d complain that it was too much or that she couldn’t fit it all the way. She didn’t like to do any of the nasty things you preferred and when it came to giving him oral sex, she downright refused. Just recently, he stopped trying altogether and always claimed he was too exhausted for sex. Meanwhile, he was buried balls deep inside of you every chance he got!
“Mmmmph, take it, baby. Keep fucking me, just like that..”
Whimpering as you rubbed your clit..stroking that bud slowly..your gaze was fixated on his, a smile on both of your faces as he nestled every inch into you. His strokes were consistent, deep and a little fast. He couldn’t be vexed to take it slow tonight. He needed to give it to you the way you deserved. “Who’s pussy is this, baby? Huh? Tell me..” questioning as he grasped for your ankles, placing gentle kisses along your instep and growling into your skin. He wasn’t letting up for anything. Not until he was damn well satisfied..
“Y-yours, daddy. Oh my gosh..”
crying out with a frail whimper as his pace sped up. Chewing at your bottom lip, you’d push at his abs to feign him off but that only did more to fuel his desire to wreck you. Instead, you found yourself hoisted up mid air and cradled in his huge arms. Being propelled up and down on his cock as he slammed you down onto it. Reiner was a brick house of a man, courtesy of all the years he spent playing football. With the bank account to match. By all accounts, he lived the dream life that so many sought after…millions in his account, large, picturesque home and a model wife but the one thing that alluded him…the one person he desired most was right here.
“Fuck….it should’ve been you, baby. It was always supposed to be you. You’re the one that should be wearing that ring, my last name..you should have her life.”
his words becoming far more enunciated, filled with much more passion and aggression..he craved you so badly he could feel it every fiber of his soul. He’d do anything to keep you around..no matter the cost. Clawing into his back, (y/n) cried out his name and let him know that you mirrored his sentiments and that regardless of titles, rings or legalities, he belonged to you! The only one who’d truly ever love him..
“I’m not going anywhere, I promise..”
151 notes · View notes
ice-within · 9 months
Text
« As long as you come home at the end of the day »
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➻ synopsis: Geto has been struggling with his mental health, being a curse eater is slowly breaking him as is his loss of hope in the sorcerers society. The only comfort he can find is in the arms of his roommate
➻ word count: 2000 words
➻ tags: Geto X Reader(gender neutral), hurt/comfort, fluff, sleeping together, dorm
➻ warnings: safe for minors, mentions of mental distress, eating disorders and self harm
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A house is like a heart: it has rooms and hallways.
And a house can rot and fall apart, just like hearts can break and shatter.
You could breathe the decay and the despair everytime you stepped into your academy room.
It took weeks to convince old Yaga to let you and Suguru share dorms, for you just couldn’t bare the idea of him locked away with his thoughts. He wasn’t the same since the last mission, everyone could tell.
The Suguru Geto that agreed on protecting that girl for the noble Tengen wasn’t the same that came back. It seemed like he kept seeing her dying before his eyes over and over on loop.
You could hear him scream at night, when he got woken by the recurring nightmare that was haunting him: he kept hearing the gunshot, the smile freezing on that girl face before going blank.
Her body falling like a rag at his feet. He couldn’t save her, he was there with his hand stretched to grab hers and yet he saw the young life and all the future hopes leaving her eyes when the lights went out. He came back to the academy dragging shadows and curses like chains around his ankles.
For a moment he believed that he lost Gojo as well, but Satoru always rose back up, and that seemed to be what broke him.
Gojo was invincible, you could slash his body and he would still rise stronger than before, that young girl didn’t even have a chance, she couldn’t even fight for her life.
She didn’t even notice her life ending, while Gojo Satoru wasted his privilege with his pride.
There was nothing to be proud of, Geto thought, it was easy for Gojo to chant his own glorious gests when he wasn’t there when an innocent, lonely and defenceless girl’s brain matter got splattered on his uniform.
Gojo wasn’t there.
Geto was, and when they came back, there was a spark in his hazel eyes that it wasn’t there before.
A spark of resentment.
The door slammed and you thanked all the gods that would listen to your prayers for that sound of cracking wood, for each crack meant that Suguru came back home. One day more, that was all you begged for, just one day more everyday, one crack more on the door.
‘Just come back home to me’.
-Suguru?-
He didn’t reply, his feet were dragging on the floor.
Your eyelids were as heavy as ever and dark circles were forming under your eyes for all the nights you spent awake waiting for him to return from a daily mission or just for staying at his side during those nightmares.
Screams, sweat and chills, you wished there was a way for all of it to stop, but the best you could do was being there, being his safe haven at the end of the day, when Suguru embraced your waist you knew that your physical contact was the only anchor he had to remain sane.
You heard the shower opening, warm steam coming out of the bathroom so you decided to step out of bed, your guts just knew that that night something was different. Suguru’s black wide trousers and his jacket were abandoned on the floor, his shoes upside down.
That night must have gone worse than before.
-Suguru...-
The scene displayed before your eyes was heart-wrenching.
Suguru Geto, one of the strongest sorcerers ever existed, was kneeling on the floor, his arms up on the wall while scorching hot water rained on him. His skin was reddening, burning.
You could count his ribs and see his spine, he had lost so much weight in the last weeks it started worrying the headmaster.
He was trying to let himself die, Geto was starving himself and burning his skin hoping at some point his body would give up, and so it would all come to an end.
You rushed towards him, closing the shower, crying his name –Suguru!- As you lift him from his underarms, it doesn’t matter how tall he is compared to you he lost all his towering appeal.
There is nothing more heart-breaking than seeing a god lose faith in himself.
When someone infinite and might like Suguru Geto collapsed, you swore you felt the Earth stopping its rotation.
He grabbed your arms, his long delicate fingers wrapping them whole, he held on to you as you kneeled in front of him, you just couldn’t care less about getting your night clothes wet. He didn’t make a sound, his beautiful eyes were wide open who knows where. Who knows what they saw, you wished you could see through his eyes, so that he could share his sorrows and didn’t have to carry all the weight of his world on his shoulders. You wished you could take all that pain through Geto’s touch.
-I’m here, you are safe. Suguru, you are safe-
Your forehead touched his and some raven strings of hair fell on his face, only for you to tuck back behind his ear
–You are safe- You kept repeating –Nothing can hurt you now, it’s all over. I’m so proud of you, you have been amazing, Suguru-
What world were you living in, if it allowed Geto’s beauty to fade? Roses died in winter but with the new Sun they would open their buds again, you weren’t sure whether your Geto’s beauty would reflorish.
Your mind travelled to Satoru’s room, was he also in the shower? Was he perhaps singing himself songs while savouring another victory? Was he already in dream land safe from nightmares? Did he even notice Suguru’s breaking next to him? No, Gojo could never know what it felt like, what it tasted like. Gojo could never know what it felt like living with curses flowing in your system, mixing with your stomach juices, their aftertaste forever printed in your saliva. Breathing the taste of curses as you woke in the morning.
No, the perfect son of the Gojo clan, the Six Eyes child only knew light, darkness was left for those lesser of him.
-Tell me what can I do, please. Just say something, I beg you- Suguru’s brown eyes blinked for the first time
–Stay- His voice hoarse, venom eating his throat.
-I’m here, Suguru. I am not going anywhere. We can stay here all night long if you need it, but I’m not letting you burn yourself-
Geto coughed –I feel them on my skin, I want to burn them, they are on me walking all over me like roaches- His pupils stretched like needles.
You caressed his back, his soft skin, flawless and pale. You traced galaxies with his beauty spots and his scars
–I promise you there is nothing on you, I would never let them touch you, your skin is untouched. You will catch a cold if you stay wet for too long, here, let me help you- Slowly you stood up, following the pace of Geto’s long legs.
He hunched and almost crushed you with his weight when let out a loud cry, one of those cries that hurt your chest.
Geto screamed with his head on your shoulder, the power of his cry made your skin shiver, like vibrations on water. As Geto finally lets go of all his pain, you took the chance of damping his silky black hair with a soft towel.
It smelled of clean, of talcum, warm from the washing machine just for his return.
-It’s so soft, isn’t it?- You comforted him, caressing his head, making sure no spot of his huge body remained wet.
For a moment, you believed you sensed him nod.
-I got your favourite pajamas too, do you want to try laying down?- This time you clearly felt his forhead nod on your shoulder.
You held Geto’s hands walking him back to the bedroom, like a child afraid of monsters under his bed. Only that Geto had monsters in his insides.
-Lift your arms- He didn’t reply, just obeyed as he let you dress him for the night. Once he would have filled that white t-shirt, but as you passed his arms through it, you realized that it’s now bigger of at least three sizes. Geto was disappearing in his clothes.
-If there is anything, literally anything, that you feel comfortable eating, I would fly to the other side of the world to grab it for you, okay?-
Suguru sat on the bed, let himself fall on the back. -You don’t have to do all of this, it’s only a burden- Said Suguru, ashamed to look at your face.
-Look, if it was a burden, I would have stopped long ago-
-Why are you even doing all of this? You are barely sleeping-
-Why do you think I’m doing it?- He knew the answer, because that’s the same answer he would give.
-I am having very dark thoughts, you know?-
-And you know that you can share all of them with me, I won’t run away-
-I’m afraid that if I told you, or Satoru, bad things would happen- You cuddled up, crossing your legs with his and hugging his side
–I don’t know Satoru as good as you do, he is an arrogant prick but I don’t believe he is stupid, he just needs his six eyes opened sometimes. I am sure he would understand. I would understand. There is absolutely nothing in the world that you could say that would make me run away from you, Suguru Geto-
He smiled and kissed your nose –Never ever?-
You rubbed your nose against his, straight and perfect –Never ever. I love you, Suguru. In good and bad times-
-Now that sounds like a wedding vow- Geto smirked.
-Well at least it brightened you up!-
-I’m sorry I’m putting this on you, I promise it will stop-
Your fingers were playing with his hair –I don’t need any apologise, as long as you come home to me at the end of the day, in whatever shape you do, I will be welcoming you with open arms, warm towels and soft blankets-
Geto nudged his head on your chest, his favourite sleep position, his arms as always around your waist –Don't you ever think that there could be a way to stop all of this? The curses, everything-
You kissed his head, didn’t reply.
-I wonder if it will be ever enough, what we do? If what we are doing isn’t actually useless and we are just wasting time and powers? Sorcerers are dying but spirits and curses keep growing in number. I don’t think I like this world, my love-
-I don’t like this world either. I don’t like a world that swallows his strongest sons. I don’t like a world that forces you to eat its curses. Of course I think of a way to put all of this to an end. I think about it everytime you leave, not knowing if you will return to me, and everytime I see you crying and scratching your throat at night. If I could end this for you, I would have done it long ago-
Geto raised his head, on his face there is a surprised expression –If I found a way, it would make the sorcerers society collapse, we would lose this-
-Remember these words: I love you, Suguru Geto, and I would follow you to the end of the world, I would sacrifice this wretched world if I was sure that I could stay like this, with you in my arms. I love you, even the darkness you carry. You are not alone, you are never alone. Come back to me, Suguru Geto. Your smiles, your wittiness. I miss all of this, if this world stole you from me I would come and find you in the pits of hell. Come back to me, Suguru-
By the time you finished talking, Geto’s breathe was heavier and regular, on your chest. He was breathing on you, almost giving you life through his own cursed oxygen. His forehead was relaxed so you kissed it one last time. -I love you, Geto-
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professional-yapper · 2 months
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Aonung x Albino reader? 🙏🙏
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Burn
Aonung x Albino! Reader
Warnings: sunburn ig?, awkward Aonung (he can't flirt to save his life this is true James Cameron told me himself), teasing as flirting, the tribe they're from is giving cult x
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"This is stupid, Vipka," you huffed, ducking under a branch as you followed your twin brother's ghostly figure closer and closer to the edge of the dark forest that your tribe inhabited.
"Don't be a wuss!" he called back, flashing you a sharp grin. "We might find something cool!"
You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, or we'll find something dangerous, get ourselves killed, and end up in the Nothing. Eywa's word is that we stay here, in the Dark, where it's safe."
Vipka rolled his eyes right back, bounding towards you, grabbing your arms and giving you a little shake. "That's what the elders say. If Eywa wanted us to stay here, she wouldn't have made me so curious about what's out there."
You gritted your teeth, but couldn't find a proper response to that beyond a muttered, "That's blasphemous." And you relented, following your stupid, reckless brother towards the edge of the forest.
Not that you were sure there even was an edge. After all, no one besides the elders actually knew. You and Vipka were only heading in the direction that the elders went in when they left the village for reasons you and Vipka weren't allowed to know.
It really could just be the forest, going on forever and ever, and you would keep going until you went crazy.
A silent prayer formed on your lips, to Eywa, who had cared for your people even after they had been foolish enough to burn their Spirit Tree down. All that was left of the centuries-old catastrophe was a charred old stump held in reverence.
Once, your uncle had whispered a story to you of tribes far away, where the sun shone brightly and their Spirit Trees grew strong, and they could even connect with their dead through the Trees themselves. It seemed fantastical to you, who had grown up knowing upon death your people would go into the Nothing and never be heard from again. Eywa's punishment for her disobedient children.
But after all... You wondered if it could be true. If you and Vipka walked far enough, would you find a tribe with no Nothing, with a Spirit Tree that grew and flourished and kept their ancestors safe?
You didn't know whether to hope so or not. Would you even be able to return home once the elders discovered yours and Vipka's disobedience? Perhaps Eywa would punish the tribe again. Maybe your family personally.
Once again you called for Vipka, but he ignored you and his pale, slender form disappeared into the trees, running now, fuelled by the adrenaline of doing something so forbidden.
Not that this was forbidden, just wandering through the Dark. But it wasn't really the Dark, anymore. The dark green of the foliage had bled away into a lighter hue, punctuated with bursts of colours. Flowers and plants and fruits that you shied away from, eyes wary as you picked your way through this new world.
You shielded your eyes against the strange light filtering through the trees, golden and hot against your skin, which was already taking on a queer pink tint that you recognised vaguely.
The elders were often this shade when they returned to the tribe. Vipka had overheard them calling it... the Burn?
You couldn't be sure, but you covered your flushed arms with your hands and kept going.
A squeal suddenly pierced the warm silence, and you froze, ears dipping and tail waving with brisk worry. "Vipka?" you called, taking a few stilted steps towards the source of the sound.
Another squeal, but definitely not Vipka. An animal of some kind. And voices. Loud, cheerful, calling to one another as they got closer, evidently following the squealing thing.
Hunters, maybe.
Not from your tribe, for sure.
You began backing up, preparing to turn and run like hell all the way back home. Vipka could keep going for all you cared, could be caught and eaten alive by the tribes beyond the Dark.
A large animal burst out of the undergrowth and you shrieked in fright, leaping back and colliding with something or someone, falling down in a jumble of arms and legs.
The animal veered away at your cry, thundering in a different direction.
"Damn!" the thing that had fallen down with you swore, shoving you off unceremoniously. "You scared it away, skxwang!"
"Fuck you!" you spluttered furiously, climbing to your feet and rubbing your lower back. You were angry. Fucking furious.
But then the strange Na'vi stood up, and you considered that it might not be a good idea to square up with him.
He was built like a tree. Broad and muscular and a weird shade of blue. Twice your size, at least. Could absolutely crush you into dust.
You didn't want to stick around and find out.
But before you could run, he grabbed your arm, pulling you back, staring at you hard with his weird pale eyes, dark curls plastered to his brow, entire body covered in sweat. "What are you?" he asked.
You shoved him in the chest, but he barely shifted, which was a solid blow to your ego. You were one of the stronger members of the tribe, and it scared you to think Na'vi of his size and strength were roaming wild out here.
Why would the elders ever come out here?
"You're one of those white Na'vi, right? From the deep forest on the other side of Awa'atlu?" he prompted, ears flattening as you kept quiet.
You stiffened. "How do you know that?"
"Your people- what do you mean, how do I know that? Your people come and talk with my dad all the time. You should probably cover up, by the way. You guys burn real easy," he added, tone almost friendly as he released your arm, seemingly realising it wasn't helping.
He knew? He knew of your people. He knew of the Dark. He knew the elders.
"But you're, like, my age," he continued, tilting his head. "I thought your people were all old and wrinkly. That's why you're white, yeah?"
You frowned. "Only the elders ever leave the Dark," you said slowly, wondering just how much you should tell this boy.
He chuckled, a surprisingly reassuring sound, even though he was holding a spear with the other hand. "What's the Dark? Is that what you call the place you're from?"
You nodded.
"So you guys don't see the sun much, huh?" he said carefully, glancing up at the blazing white spot in the sky above.
A swift shake of the head, and you didn't bother to follow his eyes. You could feel the sun well enough as is. Your skin felt flushed, hot, and it stung when you touched it.
Though the pink was a nice colour, you had to ask. "Is it poisonous?" you asked, trying to keep the distress out of your voice, running your fingers down your arm.
Another warm chuckle, and now he was looking at you with interest, which made your heart beat a little quicker. "No, you're just burning. Sunburn, you know? Cause you don't see the sun much-"
"Ever," you interjected briefly, stealing a glance above, at the great blue mass above you that went on forever, careful to keep your eyes away from the sun, though spots still danced in your eyes when you looked back at him.
He blew out a breath, curls jumping off his forehead briefly. "Okay. So you're from a freaky tribe where you've never seen the sun and live in the dark all the time, in the forest where the leaves are so thick the sun can't get through... What are you doing here? Did you run away?"
"Kind of?" you said, wondering what he was doing as he turned and scooped up a knife off the floor, then turned and started walking. Should you follow him?
"Are you coming?" he called back, gesturing for you to follow. When you caught up, he gestured for you to keep talking.
"I was following my brother Vipka. Leaving the Dark was his idea. He wanted to know where our elders go," you continued, tongue growing looser the more time you spent with this strange boy. Which might've been a bad thing. "Eywa cursed him with curiosity."
The boy nodded slowly, absorbing this. "And where's your brother now?"
"He ran ahead and I lost him," you shrugged. "But he'll turn up, either at your village or back home, if he gives up."
"I'm Aonung," the boy said briskly.
You told him your name, and he repeated it back to you carefully, grinning like it was an inside joke between you two.
"I'll take you home with me, then," Aonung shrugged. "My mother will know what to do. I- we can look after you till your elders return to my village." The tips of his ears flushed and you smiled, pleased with the sight, though you didn't know why.
"Sounds good," you hummed.
"Are all girls in your tribe as pretty as you?" he asked abruptly, looking straight forward as if scared to see your expression.
You blinked, then smiled again, wider, flushing, though you thought he probably wouldn't be able to tell since you were so 'sunburnt'. "Dunno," you chuckled. "I'll bring you home with me one day and you can see for yourself."
"I don't think they are," he said, glancing down at you and smiling, lips curling downwards.
"You haven't even seen them yet!"
"No, but I trust my gut," he said, slapping his abs with a proud look
"Oh, yeah? Was it your gut that made you run into me, too?"
"That- that was fate. Mother Eywa intended it."
"Or maybe Eywa cursed you with clumsiness. A deadly combination with how short-sighted you apparently are," you teased.
He gave you a little push, laughing. "Shut up! Why were you just standing there, is my question!"
You pushed him back, not bothering to put any effort into it, as the results remained the same and he didn't break his stride. "I've never been this far from home! I was taking in the scenery!"
"Taking in the scenery," he scoffed. "Take in this scenery." He got close to your face, which was probably meant to be intimidating but only made your ears drop bashfully, tail curling against your calf, suddenly shy as his nose almost bumped into yours.
He lingered for a moment, then seemed to realise his theatrics had gone wrong and backed up. "I mean- sorry, that came out wrong."
"No, it's okay, I like that scenery just fine too," you grinned, and he rolled his eyes in embarrassment.
"What?" you taunted, following him as he kept walking, more than happy to tease the hell out of him. "I thought you wanted me to take in the scenery!"
"Shut up."
"Make me."
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I'm patenting this tribe actually, this freaky albino tribe, because I want to write lore for it. Let me know if anyone wants to read said lore. Enjoy anon! I had fun with the world-building!
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netherfeildren · 10 months
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Someone's Wife in the Boat of Someone's Husband .4
Series Masterlist : Moodboard
(Joel Miller x F!Reader)
Content Warnings: Mutual masturbation; Come eating; Angst; Vague mention of abortion; Discussions of child neglect; Discussions of unwanted pregnancy
Rating: Explicit 18+
A/N: Some of this is so… phew… idk what came over me or how i come up with some of this shit. sorry (but not really). Joel’s a little nasty in this beware
Art is by Denis Sarazhin.
Word Count: 7.7K
Read on AO3
.4
A single person is missing for you, and the whole world is empty.
Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking
To think that despite his momentary acquiescence to your need for space, he was not, afterwards, made into a raving, snarling beast prowling its cage after having tasted you, would be fallacy – because that was what he was calling it in his mind, for now. Not yet ready to accept it within himself as a full blown rejection, so yes, for now, space, time.
He returns home with Sarah after the lakehouse – Eva gone off with her girlfriends on an extension of the weekend, wanting to draw out the farewell to summer just a little longer – to their routine of lunches and snacks and daycare and evenings playing mermaids and dinosaurs in the little pool in the backyard that he’d gotten for her at HEB. He tries to be good, to remain calm, controlled, but it’s just short of impossible. He feels as though he still has the taste of you on the surface of his tongue, the sounds of your moans ringing in his ears at all hours of the day, in bed at night, hard and aching and alone, wanting you. This turns out to be a different type of hell to the one he’s usually used to, that of monotony and loneliness and resentment. No, this is burning and painful, a type of fire that whips through his arteries and chars his bones and leaves him dizzy and disoriented.
He’s never experienced something like this before. Not in his entire life. 
It is not easy, per se, but productive, to lose himself in his work, and the start of Sarah’s school year. She’s in a 3K program for the fall, her first time going to a real school, and the work and preparation and pure fucking anxiety induced at the thought of his baby going to such a big school is overwhelming. No small feat to accomplish all on his own. 
But at night, after he’s worked himself into the ground all day, and read Sarah her bedtime story, at least three times, sometimes up to seven, but never passing ten, that was their very strict rule, and tucked her in and checked the closet and under the bed and behind the door for monsters, when he’s finally found himself alone and quiet and with a spare, but infinitely painful moment to think of you, he lets you in, in full force.
He pulls his shirt up over the back of his head, tossing it into the hamper as he passes his closet into his restroom, undoes his belt and jeans, pulling his contraband from the pocket, to push them off as he reaches to turn on the shower. 
As he lets the water heat up, he pauses to look at himself in the mirror. Tall, long frame, still pleasing to a woman, he’d imagine. Well, he hopes so. He’s still strong, his shoulders broad, his chest built from the long hours of hauling and climbing and exhaustive physical labor. There are a few grays threaded through the dark curls at his temples. Sprouting, just in the last year, to remind him that he’s getting older. One of his buddies had told him that eventually everything went gray, everything. That weirded the fuck out of him, to be honest.  He hates the thought of you seeing that, thinking of him as old. You’re so much younger than him. So pretty. Too pretty. His middle has gone slightly softer since hitting forty, but only slightly. There’s no helping that. And the small creases at the corners of his eyes… shit, he’s getting old. But his cock is still long and thick, and he’ll give that to you as much as you’ll let him. If you ever let him. All the time if he can. All he has to do is find a way to see you again, to convince you to let him see you again.
He feels a small bitter ribbon of self consciousness curl through his stomach as he takes himself in. He doesn’t want you to think of him as some old man. Some old, sleazy man who’d seen you and been so fucking desperate for you, he hadn’t cared that he was married, that you’re too young for him, that he has a family, and responsibilities and a life, like some pathetic fucking pervert. You’re just so lovely, so soft and pretty and you smell so good, always. And he’s been so alone for so fucking long. He is lonely. And you, you’d looked at him, you’d seen him, you’d wanted him back just as fiercely as he’d wanted you, even if just for a moment. How was he ever supposed to be strong enough to resist that? And further than your wanting, you’re good and kind and smart and so fucking funny and adorable. Joel could be strong when he needed to be, but he could also be weak, and he thinks that you, perhaps, have the power to make him weaker than anything else. 
What do you do when you meet a woman, have a child, get married, and then find the person who you could very well fall, probably, very deeply in love with?
Because yes, even now, he is emotionally aware enough to recognize that. More than anything, he can recognize that he has, as of yet, never been in love, but that you present the great, great possibility for that. And yes, it’s too soon, and maybe nonsensical or crazy or what have you, but Joel has always been a man that’s known himself well. When he knows, he knows, and when he chooses, he chooses, and he is very close to knowing and choosing you. 
He looks down at your panties laying on the bathroom counter – the ones he’d stolen. After you’d slipped them off, too wet from your come, from him making you come – they’re his now. 
He runs his thumb and forefinger along the silk lace at the edge. They’re a pretty, soft blue. He loves the color blue now. It will, forevermore, be his favorite color after this. The cut in the back is high, he knows the soft flesh of your ass was left mostly uncovered by them, he remembers he felt it when you rode his thigh. He wishes he could have seen it. He hopes he’ll have another chance to see it. 
If he thinks about it hard enough, he can imagine that the middle gusset is still damp from you. He brings them to his face, presses them to his nose and inhales deeply. The scent: still faintly musky, but also, slightly sweet. He sticks his tongue out to taste the fabric, and a violent shiver passes through him. He has to clutch at the countertop to hold himself upright. His cock is fully erect and leaking now. 
He has to taste you. He has to get the chance to. He’ll die if he doesn’t. He’s sure of it.
He brings the soft lace down to his aching erection. He doesn’t care if he’s disgusting. He doesn’t care about anything. All he wants is to feel you. To temper this fire churning in his blood. He can’t remember the last time his body felt like this, the last time he wanted something this fucking badly he felt like he’d die if he didn’t have it. Maybe never – he doesn’t think he’s ever felt like this. He wraps your panties around his hard length and starts to jack himself off. Strong, tight strokes from base to tip with the tiny, blue silk sliding along his fevered skin. The sound of your orgasm, the look in your eyes as you humped his thigh, ground your little clit on him and soaked his denim. He should’ve touched you more when he had the chance. He wants to fuck you so badly, wants to sink into the tight, wet clutch of your cunt and fuck you full of his come. Mark you. Brand himself into your skin so that you’re never without him. He wants you to smell like him. He wants to feel the wet gush he felt on his jeans on his cock and dripping down his balls, and Jesus fucking Christ, he comes at that. Long, thick ropes of white spend, spitting from his swollen tip at the thought of your pussy coming around him, a desperate whimper escaping in the quiet loneliness of his restroom.  
-
He thinks of you constantly, what seems like every moment of the day, in the weeks that follow. As much as he tries to keep a straight head on, he can’t. He craves you, dreams of you, fucks his hand to the memory of you coming for him, spilling his seed over and over again in the shower at the remembered look in your eyes and the sounds you made for him. He can’t help himself. 
Outside of that, everything else in his life is bleak and slow and… and he doesn’t know what else to call it, except for sad and wanting. Lonely. To have touched something so alive, so beautiful and sweet and perfect, and then be forced to return to the barren landscape that is his life in everything outside of his daughter, it’s jarringly difficult to do. He wants to be strong, to do what you asked of him, but it had been so long since he’d really wanted something for himself. Couldn’t remember what the last thing had been, really, and so to now have something to desire, something to want and think of, it makes him weak and fills his head with all kinds of excuses to see you, to call you – he’d forced Tommy to steal your number for him out of Gerri’s phone – to go to your work and wait for you to come out, just so he can catch a single glimpse of you.
He restrains himself from that, though. He forces himself to focus his mind on other things, Sarah and school and playdates, and he works himself like a dog, taking on more contracts than he ever has before. He doesn’t give himself any time to rest, any time to think, and in the few moments that he does, when he stares at your number on the screen of his phone, imagining what it is he’d say to you if he called, if you answered, what the sound of your voice would be like saying hello to him, saying his name, or in the moments when he fucks himself raw and spent and sad, those are the moments when he feels weakest, when he feels most alone, when he’s almost overwhelmed with wanting. 
-
He only lasts a measly three weeks after the lake house before he’s outside of the elementary school, one late Wednesday afternoon during the second week of the new school year. The sky is dark and angry, on the verge of a downpour, and he’s been waiting, agitated and anxious, for about half an hour, before you finally come out the double doors. 
The lightest sprinkling of rain is starting up, and he jumps out of his truck’s cab, jacket in hand, to approach you. He says your name softly as he comes up on your side while you’re distracted, digging in your purse for something.
You jump slightly at the sound of his voice and turn your wide, worried eyes on him, “Joel–” your voice, soft and breathy, so sweet, “Is everything okay? What are you doing here? Is Sarah okay?”
He holds his hands up in what he hopes is an appeasing, non-threatening gesture, he doesn’t want you nervous. Fucking Christ, asking for Sarah with that look of worry in your eyes, “Everything’s fine, sweetheart,” how in the fuck is he supposed to not be obsessed with you? “I was just – I was just hoping we could talk, is all.”
You look around at the sparsely filled parking lot, as if searching for witnesses, or perhaps, an escape, but then you turn back to him and pause to take him in. He watches the sweep of your eyes down his body, and then back up, stopping to search for something in his eyes. Whatever you find there must give you the answer you need because you nod your head once, “Alright, we can talk,” you say softly.
“My truck? Can we drive for a bit? I’ll bring you back.” You nod again, and he drapes his jacket over your shoulders to protect you from the drizzle as he leads you to his truck. “S’bout to come down hard,” he murmurs as he opens the passenger door for you, taking your wrist in his hold to help you up into the truck. He can’t help himself, he reaches for your seatbelt and buckles you in himself – is filled with an obscenely embarrassing fizz of pleasure at the gesture of it. 
You’re looking at him with the most concerned little frown marring the soft spot between your delicate brows, “Are you okay?” your voice slow and unsure, and then more of him being unable to help himself, to keep his hands to himself, because he reaches up and gently brushes his thumb over the little frowning wrinkle, nods his head once. 
“I’m okay, baby.”
He drives for a bit, takes you to a spot up in the hills he likes to come to sometimes when he needs to think. Somewhere the two of you can be alone and quiet, just for a moment. He parks the truck by a copse of trees, a view of Austin on the other side of the two of you. The rain has turned into a violent downpour by now. He shuts off the engine and looks out at the view of the city. 
-
“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t bother you – you asked me to stay away, but –” He lets his head fall back against the headrest and sighs, and the sound of it is so weary, pained in a way that’s so very, very sad. It makes you hurt for him. You reach across the center console to grip his bicep, you can’t help yourself. You could see from the first look at his face that something was wrong. You know he wouldn’t have come to look for you if he didn’t need you now. 
“You’re not bothering me. I know I shouldn’t, but I wanted to see you too.” You only confess this because of the look in his eyes. The glassy, burdened look of them. You wish that you could climb into his lap and wrap your arms around his neck, press your warmth into him. The rain hits the windshield like bullets, the sound deafening. The world outside of his truck’s cabin seems distorted, as if this liminal space the two of you sit in now, has been carved out of the rest of the real world, and the two of you exist here now, only, together. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’,” he wraps his hand over yours on his arm, drags his thumb over the smooth little hills of your knuckles. His gaze out the window is so far away, lost, something almost childlike in its desolation. You watch the strong ripple of his neck as he swallows, clears his throat. “Nothing – just wanted to see you. ‘Dunno… Felt so tired today.” He closes his eyes for a moment, “Couldn’t stop myself. Wanted to just give myself this one thing.” He lets his head roll against the seat to look at you, gives you the gentle curve of his crooked smile. So beautiful and so sad, and you can tell that something is endlessly wrong. You feel afraid, for one moment, that he’s going to start crying, the sadness in his eyes is so overwhelming. You don’t think you’ll be able to stand the sight of his tears, you think they might break you. “Just wanted to look at you, to sit here with you, just for a little bit.”
“Alright.” You’re quiet for a beat, watching him watch the rain. Part of you wants to give him space, give him quiet, but you need to know what’s wrong. You can’t bear the look in his eyes right now. “Did something happen?”
He’s silent, as if gathering his thoughts or his strength around him, and then: “Eva had a pregnancy scare this week.” A jagged shiver slices through you.
“What?” You croak, you try to pull your hand back, but he clamps down on your bones, holds you to him. “But I thought–”
He shakes his head, “Not mine.”
“Joel… what? Are– are you–” You blink furiously, at a loss. What do you say to the man who you’re kind of having an affair with when he tells you his wife, who is also seemingly having an affair, might be pregnant with another man’s child? This is all so, so fucked up. So ugly. You swallow, turn to look out at the rain. You don’t want to cry, but you can’t seem to help the tears from pooling. A bombardment of recurring images from your childhood slingshotting through your mind; your mother, leaving, angry, cold, quiet. Always pushing you away. The sound of her crying through her bedroom door, your child’s ear, pressed to the cool grain, trying to get as close to her as possible even though she doesn’t want you. Always shutting you out. Your father, dead to the world on the sofa in the living room, drowning in his liquor and yearning and hurt. The sight of a tall, handsome stranger, coming up the front walk to ring the doorbell, to take your mother away with him. The way he’d crouched down from his great height to ask you what your name was because she hadn’t even bothered to tell the man she was having an affair with, the man she was leaving you for, what your name was. 
What is it about being unlovable, you wonder, and why is it that some are cursed with it so cruelly, while others are not?
“Hey,” Joel tugs on your wrist, pulls you closer to him. “I told you, we’re not like that, we’ve never been. I don’t want you thinkin’ somethin’ else, that I haven’t been honest.” He drags the pad of his thumb over your cheekbone, tips your head back to catch your eyes. You let them flutter shut and swallow, open them again. If you talk you’ll cry, but he needs words from you now. You swallow again, shake your head. 
“It’s– it’s not that. I believe you. And even if it was otherwise, I have no right–”
“Stop. Don’t say that. You know that isn’t true. You have the right to honesty after what I’ve told you, after what we’ve done.” You try to pull back, but he brings his palm to wrap around the back of your neck and grip you by the scruff. “Stop,” he grits, “Don’t pull away from me.” 
You bring your palms up to his chest, clutch at the collar of his shirt. “I’m not. I’m not, I’m sorry. It’s just–” you huff a sharp, bitter laugh, “Sometimes it’s like you’re just telling me the story of my childhood, over and over again. Like you’re living it again for me. This all sounds very pathetically familiar.” A tear finally falls, you can’t help it. A weeper in a long line of weepers, always. 
“Sweetheart…” he brushes the track of your tear away with his thumb.
You shake your head. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Is she?”
“She’s fine. Took her to the doctor this morning.”
“God, Joel– I don’t – I don’t know how you do this.” Another tear. You think of your father, how weak, how broken he was after her. He could have never shouldered the things Joel does. You feel very sad, very sorry, for the both of them, as different as they are. You feel sorry for the whole miserable lot of you, really.
“She needed my help, she was scared–” his thumb sweeps a slow, hypnotizing path up and down the back of your neck. The rough callus on his thumb catches at your sensitive skin and makes you feel hot and sweaty and overwhelmed for the feel of it on every other tender place on your body. “Terrified, really. Of being trapped like that again.”
“Trapped?”
“Sarah was never her plan. Neither of us were. She never wanted any of this.”
“You told me the marriage wasn’t conventional… but I didn’t – I didn’t think Sarah was included in that…” Your stories are too similar, the similarities too painfully familiar.
“We met at a bar, it was–” he looks away, and you watch a hot flush flood his cheeks. He’s embarrassed to tell you this. “It was a one night thing. Her birth control failed, and then – it was just – well, ending the pregnancy was never an option for her, and I told her from the get go that I’d do whatever she wanted, support her in anything she chose. She chose to go on with it. So I asked her to marry me, it made sense, it was– it was the convenient thing. At least, at the time – in my mind, it seemed so. But we – we were strangers, there was no connection. And then… I don’t know. It wasn’t, eventually – it wasn’t the right thing, at all, for any of us. She never wanted to be a mother. She told me once, after, that she’d chosen wrong, she’d made the wrong decision. And I always tried to be supportive, but by that time, well – we had Sarah by that time, and I– I loved her more than anything I’d ever loved in my whole life. Didn’t even know it was possible to love anything that much – and it made me so fucking angry with her – to–  to hear her say something like that, that she should’ve gotten rid of her. It was – I don’t know – a very complicated and painful thing –  for the both of us to grapple with, I guess. But I–” he pauses, takes a deep breath. His eyes shift madly, looking out the window as if the rain will bring with it an explanation or an escape for whatever it is that’s churning inside his mind as he tells you this. “There was never really anything to be angry with, I don’t think. No real reason or focus for my anger. I realized it’s impossible to fault a person for not being what they were never meant to be. She never wanted this. And I hadn’t planned for it, it just happened. And the decisions we made were made, and then things just ended up as they did. Sometimes – I don’t,” he frowns, shaking his head, “I don’t know how to say it, but–” He turns to you now, a wild, pleading look in his eyes, “But how can I say that we made a mistake, without saying that Sarah was a mistake? Because if I’ve ever done a single thing absolutely perfect, in my whole entire life, it’s that little girl. She’s perfect. You know what I mean?”
You nod, swallowing back your tears, “Yes.”
He frowns at you, his eyes filled with infinite tenderness, “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”
“I’m not,” you lie, turning to press the back of your hand to your hot eyes. “I’m sorry. It’s just – it reminds me of myself, of my own mother. She – she was the same, I think. Never meant to be a mother. But not bad. It’s just what it was. And hearing you, hearing this, it makes me so sad for you, for all of you. I’m sorry.” He leans forward, wraps his hand around your jaw to press his brow to your wet cheek and just holds there. The two of you breathe each other in, match the cadence of your breaths to the other. You snake your arms around his broad shoulders to press yourself closer to him. It scares you, this feeling of necessity he forces out of you, like you need him, even this soon, for strength, for comfort, for happiness. You’ve never felt like this before, and it’s coming on so quickly, overwhelming you. You feel like you need him, and if you don’t have him you’ll never be happy for the rest of your life, you’ll never be able to forget him, to let him go. He shifts to nuzzle against your cheek and then your jaw, and then the hot press of his lips to the tender spot behind your ear. A violent tremble moves through you at the feel of his soft mouth against your skin, and you dig your nails harshly into his shoulders. 
“I just– lemme just–” he mumbles against your skin, and then that hand wrapped around your jaw is turning your head and forcing your mouth open so that he’s kissing you, licking into your mouth and everything goes tight and painful and white hot inside of you. “Jesus–” he says against your mouth. He forces your head back to deepen the angle, his other hand coming up to fist painfully in your hair, and you whimper into him. His answering groan is deep and rumbling and so, so wanting. Your heart feels like it’s flipping and squeezing and pinching inside your ribcage. You can hear how much he wants you, this, in the cadence of the sounds he makes. The kiss is wet, sloppy, full of teeth and all the desperation and yearning of these past few weeks. The days and days of not seeing him, of remembering your encounter in that dark room at the lake house, the way he’d made you come against his thigh, the sound of his own orgasm, the inhibition, the flush in his cheeks as he spilled in his jeans for you. The desperate, pathetic nights of your cunt stuffed full of your fingers, so wet and aching and still not enough even though you’d made yourself orgasm multiple times at just the memory of him. You claw at his hair and neck and back, you want to draw blood, imprint yourself on him in some way, the same way he’s imprinted himself on you. He brings the hand in your hair down to your waist to press you closer to him. The center console digs painfully into your ribs and you want to climb over it and settle in his lap, but you know you shouldn’t, that if you end up over there you’ll let him fuck you, and that you’ll never come back from that. Not ever. He drags his hand up to your breast, grips the heavy weight in his large palm and squeezes, and it hurts and it feels so, so fucking good that you rip yourself away from his mouth, push at his broad chest to force him away from you. The both of you stare at each other, wide eyed and panting great, heaving gasps. His hair is sticking up at all angles, messy from your pillaging fingers, his eyes glassy and his cheeks flushed almost feverish. 
Oh, you want him so badly. This will be your undoing. 
“We– we can’t– I didn’t come here with you for– for that,” you gasp, pressing your fingers to your wet mouth.
“I know– I know– shit, we–” He passes a palm over his mouth, and you feel another tear slide down your burning cheek. You’re surprised you don’t see steam rise at the contact. “Fuck – fuck, baby, please. Please, don’t cry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I got carried away– ”
“I’m not crying– I’m not.” Maybe if you say it enough times it’ll be true. You turn to wipe it away on the hill of your shoulder, try to hide your face.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you
“I wanted you to. I want it so badly,” you cry, squeezing your eyes shut tight. You feel inconsolable. 
“I know– I know.”
You want him so badly, so badly, so badly, you want him to keep touching you forever. “It hurts, Joel. It hurts–”
“Jesus, what hurts? Tell me.” He leans forward, gripping your knee painfully tight, and you press yourself into the door at your back, “Fuck– is that sweet, little cunt aching for me? Tell me, baby.”
You nod
“Fuck, what if– what if we just – just watch each other? What if you pet your cunt for me, and let me watch? Just– just to make the ache go away? Would that be okay?”
You shake your head, unsure, but your hand is clutching his over your knee now, digging your nails into the top of his palm and letting him slowly push your knee open further. 
His voice is so coaxing. Oh, he shouldn’t use that tone of voice against you, you’re powerless to it. “You can, it’s okay. It’s just to make the ache go away, it’s okay,” and you have no choice but to capitulate, no desire to not give in.
His palm on your knee slides up your thigh, pushing your skirt to bunch at your hips, and he hooks one finger into the side of your panties to pull them down as you lift your hips, allowing him to divest you of them. So easy, you’re so fucking easy, and you don’t even care. All you can focus on right now is the throbbing ache between your legs. 
His eyes don’t leave yours as he says, “Spread your legs… that’s it.” 
“Don’t– don’t look–” you stutter as you bring your shaking fingers to your core, and he’s leaning back to undo his belt and drag his zipper down. You can’t look either, you can’t, if you do, you’ll lose, you know it. You see the peripheral movement of him reaching into his clothes to pull the heft of his cock out, the shift of his upper body as he lifts his hips to readjust his pants to free himself. Your cunt is slick and throbbing, painfully swollen. 
You watch the movement of his shoulder as he starts to jack himself, “Just your clit first, baby. Soft, little circles, yeah… how does that feel?”
“Good– good, yes.” You’re panting, mouth hanging open. There is fire in his gaze, all for you, only for you. 
“Yeah? You need more?”
“Please, Joel–” You don’t know what you’re begging for, but you don’t think it’s for your touch alone. 
“Give yourself one finger, sweetheart. Just one – tell me how wet it is? Are you soaked for me?”
You press one finger inside, and yes, yes, your’re fucking soaked for him, you say. He groans at that, the rhythm of his shoulder gets faster. “I have to look, baby. Please, please, I have to see how wet it is.” The tops of his cheeks are flushed red, but as you watch the downward shift of his eyes to your spread sex, the place where you’re impaling yourself with a single finger, his eyes flare, the flush seems to ricochet even higher, hotter. You pull your finger out to cup yourself, hide yourself, burning with shyness and lust, but fuck, the look in his eyes, it’s bright hot, devouring. No one has ever looked at you like that. Never. 
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he moans, “Put ‘em back in. Fuck yourself, make yourself come. I have to see it.” So fucking gorgeous, you hear him mutter under his breath, and you finally give yourself permission to look down as you stuff two fingers back into your desperate pussy. Fuck your rules, you have to see him.
He’s huge.
Thick and long, the size of his cock is not made smaller by the massive breadth of his fist holding it in a vice-like grip, jacking it, tight and fast. The head is flushed a deep, angry red, the slit at the top weeping a pearly stream of precum that makes your mouth water and the muscles in your pelvis tighten – you want to taste him, you want him to fuck your mouth until you’re forced to swallow his load. There’s a thick vein running up the entire length of the underside of the shaft that you’re sure you’d feel his pulse in if you set your tongue against it. He’s pulled his heavy balls out over the edge of his jeans too, and he cups them and squeezes. 
“Spread yourself wider for me – yeah like that… Lemme see you stretch that cunt.”Oh, he’s so dirty. 
You’re sucking in quick, shallow gulps of air, on the verge of hyperventilating as you watch his massive palm beat at his cock, almost dizzy with lust, your blood rushing in your head, your pussy sopping wet, tight as a knot. This isn’t enough, you want to stop, you want to go further, you want him to touch you, to climb into his lap, to take that heavy, thick weight inside of you and feel him stretch you to the point of pain. “Don’t look– you shouldn’t look–” you don’t know why you say it, maybe because you feel you have to, but it’s nonsensical when your eyes are glued to him. 
“I have to look, baby. Please, don’t ask me that. I have to see it – fuck, you’re so gorgeous, look at you. Prettiest fucking cunt I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“Stop,” you moan, arching your back further to crook your fingers inside of yourself, hitching your knees higher to pet at the spongy, tender spot inside you that you’d like him to own. “St– stop– I’m–  m’not your baby– don’t– don’t– oh fuck, I’m gonna come–” your eyes roll to the back of your head at the sound of his choked growl, his eyes glued to your stretched sex, the sounds of your wetness and his slick palm echoing in the truck cabin. 
“You are, you are – even if you won’t let me touch you, won’t let me have you – you fucking belong to me now. Already, even like this – look at you, about to come for me with just my eyes on you.” His hips start to lift into his fist, his hand almost a blur for how fast he’s fucking himself, teeth gritted, tendons in his strong neck popping starkly under the surface of his flushed, sweaty skin. 
“Fuck– fuck, it’s so pretty.”
“Stop– please, Joel, I need–”
“Wanna taste it and fuck it and fill it with my come–”
“Oh my fucking God–” you’re going to come, now, now, it’s right there. You tell him.
“One more finger – lemme see you stretch yourself… yeah like that… my good fucking girl,” grunted as you stuff a third finger inside and start to spasm, mewling high and desperate for him, grinding your clit against the mound of your palm. You want his cock to stretch you like this, and you tell him. The sound he makes at your desperate plea, as if it’s been ripped out of him, painful, desperate, savage. You watch the wide head flush an almost deeper shade, verging on purple now, and he squeezes the base cruelly, his sack fisted tight in his other hand, and he starts to come, a thick white stream of milky spend that makes your mouth water, sliding over his fist and spurting onto his exposed belly. “Oh God, Joel, I want it.” You can’t stop the words, the sight of his orgasm forces them out of you. 
“I know, baby, I know. I want to give it to you,” he says through clenched teeth. 
You both stay frozen like that for a moment as you come down, panting and staring at each other wide eyed and flushed and trembling. That was, perhaps, no, it was without a doubt, the most intense thing you’ve ever experienced with a man, and you’d barely even touched each other. Pain and pleasure coalesce to leave you shaking and sweating, your skin hypersensitive. You’re scared you’re going to start crying again and scare him, give him the wrong idea – that you’d not liked this, that you’d not wanted this. When the truth is that nothing could ever compare to how much you wanted, needed it. How much you’ll want this forever now. You want to take him inside of you. The sheer force of your desire almost has a flavor, a shape to it. The strength of it, so potent, it is almost made sentient – a living thing. 
You pull your wet fingers out, and he snaps forward suddenly, to snatch your hand towards himself and brings the slick digits into his mouth, his tongue laving hot and wet between the spaces, sucking on them. All the while his eyes are zeroed in on the space between your legs, on the place that is still clenching and stretched, so ready and eager for him to fill. You gasp at his ferocity, at the feral look in his eyes because you can see, you can see that almost sentient desire you’re filled with, reflected in his own eyes. 
“Joel–” you whisper as he presses one final kiss to the wet tips of your fingers, his eyes fluttering shut as he holds there for one moment. 
“I know–” he whispers back, and when his eyes come back to yours, there is such a depth of understanding in them. You realize in this moment, in this shared look, that the two of you are the same in an essential way. It isn’t just your desire that connects the two of you now, it’s so much more. A loneliness, a sentimentality, perhaps, a keen sense of familiarity. That vein of shyness, of being closed off, that fear of opening up, of being hurt, of being left. He’s the same, you can see it, feel it. 
You’d never thought you had a very good sense of self identity – your perception of yourself skewed in the image of your mother, of who she was, of her shadow, of the things she’d done, but in this moment, looking into the reflection of Joel’s eyes, you feel you see yourself very clearly, almost securely, for the first time. It is recognition the two of you are sharing now, for some reason, in some way, you recognize him. And you find it ironic, that now, in this moment of all times, when you’re doing the very thing that you’d always been so afraid of, of turning into the thing that you’d always feared because of your mother, it is ironic that you are finally able to cast away her shadow, her image, and see only yourself, so clearly, so wholly, because of him.
And yet, despite the sudden, blinding clarity, oh, it was all so dark, so dark, that it be this man, this unavailable, married, unreachable man, that would make you feel so wholly seen, so understood, so connected. 
Your wrist is left wet and sticky where he’s gripped you with his spend covered fingers, but you’re careful not to wipe it away. You want to be left with the tightness of his dried come over your skin. 
“Don’t say that we shouldn’t have done that,” he tells you.
“I wasn’t going to.”
“Good.”
“I was going to say that I wish we could do it again – that I wish we could do more.”
“Shit–” he whispers, passes his dry palm over his mouth and then up into his hair, to tug at the messy curls. You move to right your clothes, and he follows your lead, tucking himself back into his jeans. “Me too.”
You let your head rest back against the window as the two of you stare at each other in silence for a moment. It’s comforting, filled with companionship, understanding, the intimacy of the moment the two of you just shared. Your cheeks feel hot and you can’t help but smile at him, just a little, a small laugh escaping, and then he’s returning it, smiling and laughing softly too, until the both of you are wracked with the most ridiculous, schoolyard giggles, like two blushing teenagers. It’s a wonderful moment for the purity of it, the two of you together, laughing. Later, you’re sure it will make you very sad and desperate to relive it, but now, oh, now, it really does feel so wonderful. You wish the two of you could live here forever, together in this moment, in the warm, intimate space of his truck’s cabin.
You talk for hours after that, about nothing and everything. His work and yours, your art, his love of building things, of taking care of things, music and movies and books and Sarah. Always, Sarah. 
“She has an obsession with bats right now, weird kid, and there’s a sanctuary up town. We spent a few hours there on Saturday, she loved it. Scampering around in this Snow White princess dress she’s refused to take off for the past three weeks. Won’t part with the damn thing, not even to let me wash it.”
He loves her so much, and it makes your heart pinch and your eyes go hot and weepy. He is, you think, an exceptionally good father, an exceptionally good man. 
Eventually, however, it gets late enough that the two of you realize you need to get home. He drives you back to the school in the most comfortable of silences, your hand intertwined reassuringly in his strong embrace. It feels worryingly natural, right. 
“Will you let me see you again?” he asks when he pulls up next to your lonely car in the school parking lot. 
“I don’t– I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Joel. This will only go further from here if we continue. And I don’t– I can’t be your–” you frown, shaking your head, disgusted at yourself for even having to say the words, “I can’t be your mistress,” you tell him bluntly.
“I would never, never ask that of you.”
“So, then what is it supposed to be? You’re going to leave your wife? That– that isn’t what I want. I don’t want to be the thing that breaks your marriage up, your family, that leaves Sarah in a broken home. I cannot be that.” It would be your worst nightmare come to life. 
He says your name in the most serious tone you think he can muster, as if he can imbue the understanding of his words into your stubborn skull with the resonance of it, “There is no marriage to break up. She’s leaving soon, I know it, I can tell. She’s done. She’s leaving Sarah, and I don’t think she’s coming back this time. I don’t think I can let her just – just come in and out of our daughter’s life like that. Something needs to stop or change. I have to do something to make this better for my girl.”
“I understand that, and I can’t– I can’t tell you how sorry I am to hear that for Sarah. For you. Really, I understand more than I can tell you – but still, when it comes to you and I, or you and her – I can’t … I can’t get into that like this. I– I, I don’t–” you pant, “I don’t know. I’m sorry. But I can’t do that, this. Not now.”
“Baby–”
“No, Joel. You don’t understand – I watched my mother cheat on my father my entire childhood, until she up and left us one day, left him. I watched him love her for years, unreturned, suffer for her, and then I watched him kill himself slowly, drink himself to death until I buried him.”
“That isn’t what Eva and I are–”
“I cannot have an affair with you. I know – I know that’s basically what we’re already fucking doing – I know I’m a hypocrite–”
“You’re not–”
“But I can’t also be the reason you leave your marriage. It would kill me – do you understand?” your voice cracks, you’re shocked you’re not crying right now. “Please, Joel.”
He looks at you for a moment, you’re afraid you can see anger in his eyes, but then they go soft, understanding, and he says, “Yeah… yeah, sweetheart. I understand.” Your eyes flutter shut, and you let out a shaky breath, relieved, but at the same time, filled with a sick twist of disappointment. What would you do if he pressed you, if he forced you? You know part of you would like it. “Can I at least call you? Only sometimes, please. Just to talk – to hear your voice.”
You start to shake your head, but when you open your eyes and take in the pleading look in his gaze, you can’t say no. “Alright, yes… yes, you can call me. That’s okay.”
“Can I kiss you? Just once more?” You lean over the console and press your lips to his, sudden and rough, as an answer, your teeth clicking together harshly. Of course, you want to kiss him again, of course. 
One long, tight moment, you clutch his wrists to keep them from pulling you in closer, and then you’re pulling back, scrambling out of the truck and forcing yourself away from him. You need to get away before you lose all strength of will and just let him do whatever he wants to you. You hear him get out, as well, and follow you around to your driver’s side door, waiting behind you as you dig for your car keys in your bag. You open the door, and then turn back to him, you can’t help yourself, and he lifts a hand to drag his thumb across your cheekbone, along the edge of your jaw. His eyes look so sad, like he’s afraid this’ll be the last time the two of you ever see each other again. The tears are back and angrily demanding release, but you try and take deep breaths through your nose to keep them at bay while your entire frame shakes and shivers at the restraint. He nods once and leans forward to press a long kiss above your brow, and then he turns and walks back to his truck, gets inside. He waits until you’ve gotten in your own car and are driving away, great heaving sobs wracking your body, overwhelming you, before you see him finally turn his truck on and start to drive back home, back to his wife and child.
Chapter .5
Netherfeildren's Masterlist
End Notes: This was kind of a heavy one, if there’s anything you’d like to chat about (or yell at me for all the angsty bullshit) pls come do so :)
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