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#just imagining him gripping ur face when he wakes up so he can tell u to kiss him
ihatebnha · 2 years
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im having a brainrot of kissing bakugo on your bed late at night until you are absolutely both tired as hell and you fall asleep with his hand inside your sleep shorts grabbing onto your bare butt cheek and your hand all the way up his shirt resting on one of his tiddies
literally crying at the thought of this happening after long and hard busy days... the ones where you don’t get to see each other til you’re both in bed at night, but still wanna cuddle and catch up w/ each other about some of the little things you may’ve missed. 
so yeah, you get all close in bed and kiss each other to sleep... just breathe in each others air for a bit and then drift off together... 
AND THEN... you wake up all tangled together, too. you’ve sunk a bit more to his side over the night and your hand is now on his belly... but his is STILL right where he left it and he’s got your face nearly right there in his armpit jdkfadsjk. 
And of course, he grumbles every time you move, too, because he’s just so comfortable and doesn’t want you leave or make the bed cold. you can barely reach for your phone w/o a boob going in his face but he barely even notices or cares... just yawns and grips you harder. a little butt squeeze and jiggle, maybe... but then he stares at you w/ those tired, slitted eyes and gives you a little sleepy cheek kiss-nuzzle as if it will make you want to stay. 
honestly tho? it probably does.  
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leftingbadly · 3 months
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Want to start off by saying that it is SO cool if u don’t do this one (as with anything!!), but I started my period and am dying 😭 Been into vampires my entire life and always wondered…what do u do on ur period? Like…I can’t imagine I’d even have the energy to fight back LMAO ANYWAYSSS how do u think Godric would be like if his human gf was on her period? Bet he wasn’t being educated on them even when he WAS human 😭😭 — Anon of Gaul (is that an ok anon tag??)
What He's Like On Your Period
Japan is attacking, return from the war soon nonny. (Anon of Gaul is beautiful, yes.)
Pairing: Godric x reader
He wouldn’t even need to ask what was wrong when he came into the room one day and found you splayed on the couch, hands on your stomach, panting as the pain took over your body
He’d stand there for a moment as he took you in, the sight of you, the sounds of you, the smell of you 
Honestly, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself at first, but then he finds himself again. I love her, he reminds himself I love her, she’s in pain, help her
“My beautiful love, do you ache?”
As his hand comes to your face, gentle fingers lifting to your cheek, to your temple, into your hair as he scratches your head and lays kisses where his lips find your skin. He's so soft for you istg
“Can I make it better for you?”
“Let me make it right, my love. Let me do my job.”
He’d try to make you feel better, obviously 
“I’m sorry, my love,” a soft voice murmured against stomach skin, his cold lips a gentle reprieve to the heat and pain your body was giving off now. You could feel the tender kisses he left there in the wake, but even the most simple, light-hearted kisses he left there caused your entire body to react to him and contract on its own, worsening the pain in your gut. Godric noticed this immediately, of course, you looked down just in time to see his wide blue eyes stare up at you. 
You were too tired to tell him to stop, and too sad at the thought of having him part from you that you didn’t know what to do. A huff of agitation left you, and he chuckled lightly at your performance. 
“May I?” He asked as he aligned his body with yours, strong hands and legs holding him up so that he didn’t crush you. For a moment you were confused, and in the next his lips were on yours. But there was something different about this kiss, soft, yes, but tangy. Something metallic and wet slipped passed, and it wasn’t until your pain began to lessen did you realise he had bitten his tongue before sliding it along yours. 
Despite him not having been human, the dude was alive for 2000 years and saw the evolution of female sanitary products himself, so he knows a thing or two about how to take care of his woman. BUT that didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun too
Your body was still too weak to move back, but it felt like the very nerves of your body were reaching out to him. Godric shifted, his legs straightening as he leaned back to sit on his thighs, strong hands pulling you up into and against him as he lifted your body, then your arms, and wrapped them around his neck himself. He pushes his tongue along yours, slithering over it, coating it and your lips in his blood to relieve you of your pain—and then his own hands gripped tight onto your hips and pushes down, and grinds, and his hand slips between the waistband of your shorts, to lick, to taste, to savour and adore, so that you may relieve him of his. 
"It would be easier, my love, if I gave you blood where it hurts."
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ddejavvu · 1 year
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puppy!eddie is 100% a headbutter for pets. he’ll just knock his head into ur tummy or arm and stay there for it
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not to be nsfw or anything but pup!eddie is a humper. he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. he’ll see you bend over for smthn and as a “joke” grip ur hips and just 🙏🙏 but u brush it off cus boyfriends do that sometimes and it’s like 🙄 boys 🙄. eddies thi, he’s like oh she doesn’t hate it!! :) pretty gf likes it!! :) and then you’ll be in bed reading and he’ll start doing it and ur like, eds?? he just gets into it - press his whole body into u and his tail is just going like mad bro bc gf likes this!! remember! from earlier!!! :] n he’s so bad for it all the time cus he likes how it/you feel n he’s just over here with a dumb smile on his face cus you’ll be petting his ears and his hips just.. start going n ur like 😳😳
but like imagine you’ve just finished like.. yknow doing it and he hasn’t even moved from inside yet cus ur just laying together and he DOES IT THEN?? don’t ask me why idk but he just starts moving his hips and if he ever does finally separate he doesn’t get why ur so flustered AT.ALL. never crossed his mind to actually have a verbal conversation with you bc you’ve never spoken about why he likes pets before so he assumes you get why he likes this and he assumes you like it too. poor boy, his bad habit of assuming are gonna take u out someday
AW YES :( he rams his head into your chest and wriggles it around so he can blink up at you expectantly and when you finally give in and pet him he giggles and curls up in your lap <33
this post is 18+, minors dni under cut.
NOOO HE IS 😭
i think he would be really needy! definitely isn't shy about rubbing up on you, if he wants to be inside you he's gonna let you know - most mornings you wake up to him grinding on you and you can hear the thumpthumpthump of his tail and when you brush his sweaty hair back from his forehead he whimpers and tells you he's really sorry for waking you up, that he just needed you
sensitive dog hybrid eddie!! his ears feel really good when you pet them and he can get worked up really easily - it's probably like foreplay to him if he's in the mood!!
any time he goes to town while you're busy you look down at him like >:( eddie >:( and he's like sorry babe it's a dog hybrid thing 🥱 YOU'RE LIKE MAN GET OFF OF MY LEG.
he definitely does to it to tease you though he loooves hearing you freak out and get all blushy - you'll be dusting off the table or something and he comes over and whams into you you're like WHAT THE F U C K n he's just >:)) he lives by 'boys will be boys' ugh </3 i love him he's repulsive
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local-trashmouth · 3 years
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I want morning cuddles but can't find something fitting to read so I'll just make it myself :) (kinda also general fluff)
Pairing: Bowers gang x reader (seperate)
I should write Losers club soon but I can't help it okay
Warnings: fluff? Man if you simp for these bois u do not need warnings
I'm very sorry that Belch and Vic are a little shorter than Patrick and Henry, I just don't have as many headcanons for them
Henry Bowers
if you two weren't facing eachother before, you are now
I feel like Henry starts with spooning or cuddling you, but slowly drifts away into his own space while asleep
when you two wake up that gap closes again basically
also, congratulations on getting that far with him
you deserve a Medal 🏅
he'll give you lots of forehead kisses & mutter about the future he pictures with you out of Derry
rubs ur cheek with his thumb
if he's awake earlier, he'll watch you sleep
not in a creepy way, more in a adoring way
he just wonders how he got so lucky
he tries to make you breakfast but you wake up every time his form leaves the bed, so you waddle after him
he truly thinks you are the cutest thing ever
feel free to ruffle through his hair, we all know he's a slut for head pats and ruffles
you'll hear a lot more of his laugh, I wouldn't complain honestly
asks you if you dreamed something while making breakfast
I feel like Henry's a tea drinker rather than coffee, so he'll prepare ur favourite tea too
when you are getting ready in the bathroom, he'll just stand behind you & have his arms around ur waist, head on your shoulder
very wholesome boi
but don't you dare tell anyone about this side of him
Patrick Hockstetter
he doesn't sleep
he has trouble with letting you sleep for such a long time
how can he survive 8 hours?
every night??
he knows you need it, but damn he wants you
probably gonna wake you up at fucking 3am with groping or kissing you
when he does sleep tho, I feel like his secret soft spot for you comes out
he'll totally fall asleep first, you cannot say no
you'd be on your phone, and just hear soft snoring
it's not loud, or annoying. Just kinda cute
Patrick looks really peaceful then :)
in the morning, he'd totally admire you just like Henry
he wonders why you stick around, if you even have a reason to really
puts his forehead against urs & closes his eyes again, just enjoying the moment
he totally wraps his entire body around you lol
lots of sleepy kisses
he's gonna hold you hostage for cuddles
has a strong grip on you, there's no escape
finds it adorable when you love to lay your head onto his chest to listen to his heartbeat
always lets you do his hair because boi got no sense of style
he'll be very clingy when sleepy :)
Belch Huggins
best cuddler ever
he'll envelope you, waking you up with kisses and sleepy chuckles
you two talk about anything and everything for some time
you make breakfast together, and get out very early so he can watch the sunrise with you
puts his head onto ur shoulder all the time
he'll just wrap you up in a blanket burrito so you don't get cold and go outside with you, keeping you on his lap
gives u lots of forehead kisses to earn those giggles he loves from you
during the week, he'll get ready with you of course
lets you do his hair so maybe he'll go to school without a hat sometime
on weekends you two end up chilling somewhere in his house with Madonna in the background, wrapped up in blankets while you paint his nails
where's my Belch, I want him
Victor Criss
listen, he'll make you hot chocolate and watch a movie with you.
you end up falling back asleep
when you wake up he's got breakfast in bed ready :)
takes a morning shower with you
goes on a walk afterwards
I can imagine that last night you two had a little bonfire in his backyard and you listened to The Cure while making marshmallows
he starts a pillowfight with you
lots of laughs and cuddles
STARGAZING
you two totally fell asleep for a while after the fire, stargazing
he shows you constellations
plays with ur hair, and if you have longer hair he braids it :)
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evelxtus · 3 years
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Hiii i really love ur page !! And i saw that ur requests were open and I’m wondering if you can do a one where the genshin boys ( can u do albedo diluc and xiao or less u choose) had a nightmare about their s/o leaving them because they were always busy and didn’t give them a lot of attention and waking up and being clingy to their s/o because of that nightmare ? ( u can change it if u want too!!) feel free to ignore if u don’t want to !!
༺SCENARIO.༻ (Fluff.)
They dream about their s/o leaving them and they wake up being clingy.
Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Xiao.
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_Thank you for your idea!! It was so cute!! 💕 I had fun imagining these scenarios, I hope you like them as well. :D_
𑁍┊Albedo:
Albedo woke up after the nightmare with a slight gasp. He closed his eyes again trying to forget what happened, but his mind kept thinking on that.
The boy extended his hand to your side of the bed, to his relief you were still there. He couldn't see your face because you had your back to him.
He sighted as he gently grabbed onto your nightshirt. He slowly got closer to you. You woke up when you felt his movement.
"Albedo" you whispered when you felt his soft grip.
"My apologies. I just had... a nightmare." he pondered before saying that.
You turned around, facing him now. The boy pursed his lips turning them into a straight line, looking at you a little embarrassed.
"Come here." you extended one of your arms, offering a hole close to you. A small smile escaped the boy's lips, he accepted your offer very gratefully. Your heartbeat and calm breathing made the negative feelings -that his nightmare had gave him- dissolve.
"Thank you. Having you with me helps me more than you think."
𑁍┊Diluc:
The red-haired boy suddenly opened his eyes after the nightmare. His breathing was very fast.
"Y/N..." he whispered. The boy was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling, but then he sat up in bed and tilted his head to look at you with a bit of bitterness.
"It was just a nightmare..." he repeated to himself.
His slender fingers caressed your forehead and hair, tickling you slightly and you woke up. "Diluc, is something wrong?"
"Nothing. I just needed... to feel you for a moment." he answered simply as he pulled his hand away from you, at the same time as his gaze.
"Lie down again, honey..." you mumbled sleepy.
The boy sighed, lying down again, still feeling bad about the nightmare. His eyes widened a little when he heard your voice again. "Give me your hand."
He cocked his head, looking at how you had a tired but loving expression on your face. He took your hand as you asked, and you raised his hand to your lips to kiss the back of it.
"Thanks." he muttered almost inaudibly. "... I love you."
𑁍┊Xiao:
With a slight shake, the boy got up after the nightmare. He opened his eyes quickly, feeling a cold feeling inside of him.
Xiao approached you, trying to be as cautious as possible so as not to wake you up. You didn't have to suffer if he's feeling bad, right? It was his problem. Or so he thought.
The boy settled into your arms and closed his eyes to go back to sleep. Your voice made him alert again.
"What's wrong, are you cold?" You asked, stretching your arms a little and then relaxing them again, hugging the boy one more time. The boy responded with a grunt. He seemed annoyed. "Xiao?"
Silence filled your room.
It was just a nightmare, but still it had hurt like it was real. And even though he was upset, he was still looking for your warmth.
"Y/N." there was a slight pause before the next words. He was looking for the right way to say it. "If you ever stop needing me... tell me." You furrowed your eyebrows when you heard what he said.
"Stop needing you? If you are what I want the most every day." You answered calmly, hugging him a little tighter.
"You..." he sighed as he held onto your arms gently. "Thank you for staying by my side... I want you always here... with me, if it's not a problem for you..."
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ncssian · 3 years
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A Favor: Part Twenty-Eight
Nessian Modern AU
Masterlist
a/n: the beginning of the end :,) if u made it this far i think ur cool
***
“Where do you see yourself in five years?” Lana asks.
Nesta closes her eyes, letting the picture swirl and take shape in her mind.
This time last year, she would have imagined nothing. Nothing but a desk in a busy law office, and maybe a nice apartment if she was lucky. That would be it. But now she sees…
“Somewhere with good food and good music,” she muses. “Maybe a sea breeze.” The sun-faded buildings of Portofino fade into the foreground of her imagination. “There are lots of people with me,” she hears the sound of children shrieking and Cassian’s rumbling laughter, “but it’s okay, because I love every one of them.” Her eyes open. “Is that a good answer?”
A near invisible smile tugs at the corners of Lana’s lips. “You tell me, Nesta. Do you like what you see?”
“It’s a little too cinematic if you ask me,” Nesta says nonchalantly, picking up her bag from the ground, “but I suppose all dreams are that way.”
“It’s a good dream,” Lana says. “A worthy dream, and one you deserve to chase.”
Nesta shrugs lightly, not too worried about the burden of the future for once. “Maybe I will.”
“In that case, congratulations on completing your final therapy session,” Lana says, setting her notebook aside. “You’ve made some amazing progress this year.”
Nesta gives her therapist her signature what’s-wrong-with-you look. “I’m going on vacation, not firing you for good. I’ll see you again in two months.”
“Two months can be enough to lose all your progress, if you forget everything you went through to get here.”
Nesta isn’t stupid. She knows that she isn’t suddenly desperate to make babies or be maid of honor at her sisters’ weddings or some bullshit. She knows that the image she just dreamed up, with Cassian and kids and her unburdened heart, is likely more than five years away. If it happens at all, it could be ten, even twenty years of hard work away.
She’s not nearly finished growing yet. “I’ll see you in two months, Lana,” she repeats.
Lana smiles at her fully this time. “Enjoy your summer, Nesta.”
***
The air is different in the Smokies.
Nesta rolls the truck windows down so she can inhale it, relish it. Wind whips her hair every which way as they drive down the winding freeway cutting through the lush mountains, and something about the look on her face makes Cassian chuckle and press down on the accelerator.
Nesta watches the red needle on the speedometer cross ninety, then one hundred. She can barely feel the June heat with how fast they’re going.
In the end, it was Feyre and Elain that reached out and invited her to the Tennessee summer home. Cassian had made it obvious that he wouldn’t push her to go if she didn’t want to, and at first she really didn’t want to. But Feyre had looked so hopeful when she asked Nesta to come with them, and even Elain had revealed a glimmer of eagerness that Nesta would say yes.
So against all odds, she agreed to go.
Exchanging one mountain home for another isn’t much of a getaway, but Nesta can’t help but be excited. Even with the unhappy memories of her childhood, she loves these hills more than any other.
The pure exhilaration of being back in Tennessee overcomes her at some point during the drive, knocking her out in the passenger seat where she sits. In her drowsy state, she distantly hears the windows being rolled up, before feeling Cassian’s hand guide her head to rest against the glass. The rest of the drive is warm and sunny, enough to lull her into a deep sleep.
The next thing Nesta’s aware of is the crunch of gravel and the feeling of the truck tires slowing to a stop. Fingers brush against her heated cheek, and then Cassian is murmuring at her to wake up.
Blinking her eyes open, Nesta twists around to see their destination.
For a moment, she thinks she’s still dreaming.
“Welcome to Holly House,” Cassian says with a grin. The house in question is quaint and sprawling at the same time, the way most upper class Southerners like their houses. The whole thing gleams with a fresh coat of white paint under the afternoon sun, complemented by a sky blue wraparound porch. Colonial style windows and proud columns decorating the facade of the building makes it look like the setting of a fairy tale.
Beyond it, Nesta can see cherry blossoms. Pink, fluttering cherry blossoms that fly off their branches and swirl through the air, some of them disappearing into the thick woods behind the house. Woods that Nesta has walked countless times before.
“The rest of the guys won’t get here until tomorrow afternoon,” Cassian is saying to her, “so we have the whole place to our—”
Nesta isn’t listening anymore. She unbuckles her seatbelt and shoves open the truck door, hobbling outside on unsteady feet to make sure she isn’t hallucinating things. But no, this is…
“Cherrywood,” she breathes, eyes wide in disbelief.
Cassian gets out of the truck, coming up beside Nesta to slip his hand into her shorts pocket. “What’s wrong? You okay?”
“This is Rhysand’s summer home?” Nesta points at the house. “This place?”
Cassian looks around at the building grounds in confusion. “Has been for the last two decades, yeah.”
It’s been eleven years since she last stepped foot on these grounds.
With wonderment in her voice, she utters to Cassian, “I’ve been here before.”
At his puzzled look, she explains, “I lived just on the other side of those woods.” She points to the trees. “There’s an old cracked road that hasn’t been maintained since it was first paved, and you can follow it straight to the poor side of town. Whenever I wanted to get away, I would come down that road and trek through the woods, and I’d end up here. I stopped coming because…” she trails off.
Because she got caught that one time.
Cassian seems to realize it at the same moment as her. His hand slips out of her pocket. “You…”
Nesta remembers a tall boy with shocked eyes and shaggy hair, and she shakes her head slowly in forceful denial. It can’t be true. It’s too much of a coincidence.
But he points at her, then her feet. “You—with the size six Converse,” he sputters. “It was you.”
Before Nesta can confirm or deny it, he grabs her by the wrist and starts tugging her along, up the porch stairs and inside the house.
Even with Rhysand and Feyre’s renovations, it looks undeniably the same as all those years ago. The living room is to her right and the farmhouse style kitchen and dining area is to the left, though she speeds by it all as Cassian pulls her farther inside the house, to the closet beneath the curving stairs.
He lets go of her hand to search the small closet, muttering, “I know they were here somewhere.” But the closet looks like it was stripped empty for renovations, with only bolts in the walls indicating that shoe racks used to hang there.
Cassian turns and heads for the stairs, and Nesta blindly follows him. She also wants to go upstairs, wants to see if the bay window looking out onto the garden has stayed the same.
Like he read her mind, he leads her straight to the room she used to spend hours reading in. It’s smaller than all the other bedrooms in the house, but it’s always been her favorite because of the view.
As Cassian keeps looking for whatever it is he’s looking for, upturning boxes and checking beneath furniture, Nesta drifts toward the bay window. She looks from the cherry blossom trees outside, to the full-sized bed, to Cassian, and a weight drops even heavier in her gut. She has to reach out and grip the edge of the dresser for support.
Finally, Cassian pops out of the closet victorious. In his hand are a pair of ragged shoes that Nesta hasn’t worn in a long, long time.
He comes over and drops them with a thud at her feet.
“Whose room is this?” she asks with a rough voice, still staring down at the shoes.
“Mine,” he answers simply.
“Oh.” She met him before. She met him before.
When Nesta dares to look up and meet Cassian’s eyes, what she finds there nearly robs her of breath: wonder, astonishment, and unwavering fealty. He breaks into sudden wholehearted laughter, which dazes her even more.
“What’s so funny?” she demands.
Cassian gets out between laughs, “What was it Rhysand said about Feyre? When they found out they were close to crossing paths when they were younger?”
Nesta’s earth-tilting shock slowly slips away, replaced by a stern look. “Don’t say it.”
He pretends to remember. “I think it was fate.” A wicked smirk pulls at his lips at Nesta’s resigned sigh. “But I have another word for it, too.”
“Don’t say that, either.” She pleadingly holds up her hands, only for Cassian to snatch one out of the air and intertwine his fingers with hers.
“Soulmate,” he says quietly, now less amused.
Nesta swallows thickly, not having any words for him. All she knows is that he is never going to let her live this down.
“Imagine if we’d gone to the same high school,” Cassian says to her later that afternoon as they lounge in his old room. “Fuck, I could’ve saved myself so much time with all those random girls.” They’ve been swapping childhood stories for the past hour, as if they might find more instances in their history of a red string tying them together.
Nesta doesn’t need coincidences or fateful run-ins to know that a string has always been wrapped around her ring finger, pulling her to Colorado and to that cabin. But for Cassian’s sake, she’ll gladly amuse him. “I would have been a freshman while you were a senior,” she says matter-of-factly. “It never could have happened.”
He hums in thought, head propped up in his hand, elbow propped up against the bay window seat. “Maybe if you were older. You would have been the smart, quiet girl, and I’d have been the player jock, and as soon as we locked eyes in math class, I’d be head over heels in love with you.”
Nesta cackles from where she sits in the window seat above him. “Now you’re just writing fanfiction.”
Cassian grins up at her but doesn’t send a rebuttal her way. The conversation falls into a lull, until Nesta has to reach out and ask, “What are you thinking?”
His smile turns a little sad. “That I wish we weren’t doing this right before I leave for another country.”
Right. That’s what’s been hanging over them the entire trip to Tennessee: that as soon as they get back to Colorado, Cassian is going to be on a plane to Milan.
Getting Keith O’Connell to quit—how exactly Cassian went about accomplishing it, he still won’t tell Nesta—left Rhysand at square one with his search for a team leader for his overseas venture.
When Cassian brought up the idea of taking the job to Nesta, he sounded like he hoped she would shoot him down, talk him out of it. He both wanted to go and was reluctant to leave, like his very soul was glued to his home and he didn’t want to unstick himself.
So Nesta, being his home, had to do the unsticking for him. She nearly accepted the year-long Milan position herself for Cassian’s sake, and it took weeks of coaxing and convincing to put him at ease about the whole thing.
“But we promised to go together for the first time,” he kept saying.
“We’ll still go together one day, and it’ll still be our first time there with each other,” she reassured him.
Eventually, he relented to her and Rhysand’s pressures with a single condition. “I’ll do six months. Not a year.”
Only Nesta knows deep down how much Cassian needs this opportunity. Though Cassian must know it a little bit too, because he wouldn’t have taken the job if he didn’t.
Nesta might have needed him in order to come out of her shell, but now he needs to get away from her in order to find his own shell. Something he can call his own, unburdened by his loyalties to the people he loves. So he can find who he wants to be for himself, without always being attached to her hip.
Rising to her feet, Nesta raises her arms in the air in a full body stretch. Her back and legs ache with being curled up in that window seat for so long without movement.
Dropping her arms, she holds out a hand to Cassian still sitting on the floor. “Come on,” she urges him. “Let’s go outside. I haven’t seen a Smoky sunset in years.”
“But it’s not evening yet,” he argues while taking her hand.
Outside, they explore the garden that leads into the woods while waiting for the sun to slink down the sky. Cherry blossoms ride the summer breeze wherever it takes them, resulting in Cassian sniffling and scratching at his neck as they walk hand in hand.
“Rhysand wanted to take these trees down and replace them with a flower garden for Elain,” he tells Nesta as they walk. His sinuses sound clogged, but he’s refused to go back inside until he’s explained every inch of the land to Nesta. “I convinced him not to because it would ruin the view from my bedroom window. Didn’t I make the right choice?” He throws a grin in her direction.
Nesta’s swallow is tight at that grin. “The view from your room was always my favorite part about the entire place. So yes, you did good.”
His eyes widen at that tidbit of information, and she can almost see him tucking it away as more Soulmate Evidence.
They stroll through the woods for a while, and Nesta points out the path she would take to get to Cherrywood—she still insists on calling it Cherrywood, even when Cassian argues that the house’s original name has been around since the sixties.
“Show me the rest of the way?” Cassian asks her, face lit up in boyish hope. “Show me where you ran away to that day I found you.”
Nesta almost expects the memory of the rundown apartment complex she grew up in to feel like being shoved into sludge: dirty, cold, and slimy. Instead, she finds she has no problem with looking back at her old home, no matter how many ugly memories she holds from there.
However, the dappled sunlight streaming in through the trees overhead has turned from yellow to dark gold, and she shakes her head in apology to Cassian. “Another day,” she promises him. “It’s almost sunset.”
They walk back to the house, rounding it until they reach the front. At the bottom of the hill that the house is perched on stands a pier that leads all the way out to the lake. Green mountains frame the lake from both sides, creating the perfect cradle for the sun to sink into.
They go all the way out to the edge of the pier, as if they’re trying to get as close to the sunset as physically possible. Dragonflies lazily swoop by as the lake is gradually painted in a hundred different colors.
Once there’s more darkness than light in the sky, Cassian nudges Nesta with one of the arms he has around her. “Look.” He points.
Along the shoreline of the lake, little dots of light have lit up to welcome the evening, their blinking glow so small that Nesta almost doesn’t catch it. Fireflies.
Nesta watches the insects flit in and out of the long grasses of the lake shore, getting tangled in the weeds and wildflowers. In that moment, she remembers something Cassian once confessed to her not long after his birthday.
I want to see more beautiful places with you.
Nesta ticks this beautiful place off the long list in her head—the first place out of many that she plans to see with Cassian.
More beautiful than the scene before her is the man in her arms. The man who was kind enough to understand a woman who barely understood herself, and to be her friend when she had none. The man who is extending his kindness right now by not having made any breaking-and-entering jokes about Nesta so far, though she’s sure he’ll pull them out eventually.
Discovering that she once found Cassian, just to let him slip by running away from him, only to find him again over a decade later—it comforts the tiny part of her that’s loath to say goodbye to him in two weeks.
Like Cassian is thinking the same thing, he murmurs into the dark, “I can’t wait to come back to you.”
Nesta huffs in amusement. “You haven’t even left yet.”
“I know.” After a moment, he adds in a low voice that not even the fireflies can hear, “Thank you for convincing me to go.”
She reaches up to squeeze his bicep. “Always.” And then she adds what she really wants him to hear: “Don’t come back until you find what you’re looking for.”
“I better find it quick then,” he jokes. Still, he nods in promise against the side of her head.
The only sound after that is the chirp of cicadas and the occasional lap of water meeting the pier beams. Nesta and Cassian stay outside in the June heat long after the sky turns ink blue.
***
a/n: next chapter is just some ic bullshit so take all ur bittersweet sentimentality here and go
tagging: @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @arinbelle @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea @teagoddess99 @mystic-bibliophile
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Note
Headcannon of a poly relationship w fem Y/N, Mikasa, and Annie? Like the relationship dynamics and what a normal day would look like? If u include a NSFW dynamics I wouldn’t mind👀
BUT IF YOU DON’T HAVE TIME I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND 💗💗💗 love ur posts and have a nice day😇💞
Sure thing anon! Also, thank you, and have a nice day as well!
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Mikasa Ackerman x Reader x Annie Leonhart: HCs
AU: Canon
Warnings: None
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(SFW)
Surprisingly, being in a relationship with these two can get quite hectic sometimes, despite the fact that they're both pretty calm people by themselves
They are fiercely protective over you sometimes. Even if you are just as good of a soldier as you are, they will be defending you left and right
They usually stick by your side during missions, making sure that the three of you are near each other at all times, that way you have each others' back
But they don't just defend you against titans, no, they will defend you against anyone
They show their protectiveness differently, though
Annie is generally more relaxed about it than Mikasa is, and on top of that, Annie is very physical when it comes down to it, but Mikasa is more verbal about it
For instance, if a training partner is being too rough on purpose, it wouldn't be a surprise for Annie to quietly ask to speak with them after practice, only to show up to breakfast with a black eye the next morning
Or, if, heaven forbid, someone else start coming on to you, Mikasa will pull them aside for a stern talking to, telling them to back off. And, since it's Mikasa, they always listen
Even Instructor Shadis isn't safe. If they feel he's being a little too hard on you during training, one or both of them will talk to him, using their wits to convince him that you're in no fit to keep training for the day, and then joining you in bed once he excuses you
After a while, people start to learn that it's best to stay on good terms with you, unless they want to make enemies with two of the strongest soldiers in the 104th
Though, they are great listeners when it comes down to it. If you think they're being a bit too overbearing, they'll back off
They both love you and respect you a lot, and would hate to do anything against your wishes
They're both very aloof people, but around you (in private, that is) they're both really soft
Mikasa's love language is quality time, so you can expect her to be near you at most times, reminding you of her presence every now and then just to remind you that she's here for you. She doesn't need to say or do much, she just wants to be close to you, physically and emotionally
Meanwhile, Annie's love language is, surprisingly, physical touch. She'll constantly be having her shoulder up against yours, or her hand gripping yours, or, if you're really lucky, she'll show one of her rare moments of vulnerability, embracing you tightly and clinging onto you until she's satisfied
The three of you, while caring deeply about your friends, value the moments where you all get to be completely alone, not having to worry about the gazes of others on you
Cuddle piles (subsequently leading to long, comfortable naps) are quite common
Mikasa, being the nurturing type she is, will gently pull you and Annie closer into her sides, tucking yours or Annie's head onto her chest or into the crook of her arm, keeping you warm and close to her
It's at these moments, too, that Annie isn't afraid to seem vulnerable or meek, curling into Mikasa's side and draping an arm or a leg over the ravenette's body
Or, sometimes, if either Mikasa or Annie isn't present, the other one will pull you to rest against their chest, letting you fall asleep against them while they wait patiently for the other one to show up
Sometimes, though, when they do show up, they'll take a short moment to fawn over your sleeping form, discussing how cute you look when you sleep, and how lucky they are to be in a relationship with both you and the other
As I've mentioned a little earlier, Mikasa is the nurturing one of you three
If you or Annie get hurt, she's at their side at an instant, treating their wounds with such a gentle touch, as if her lover was made of glass, and would break at any touch just a tad too harsh
Sometimes, Annie gets insecure about your relationship, feeling like she isn't great at opening up and showing emotions/vulnerability, and that the two of you seem so much more content when she isn't around
Which leads you and Mikasa to share a quick glance before you rush over to comfort her, hugging her gently and whispering just how much she means to you both
And that was the first time either of you—or anyone for that matter—had seen Annie cry.
But neither of you make any huge notice of it, instead just pulling her closer, wiping her tears away with your hands
A daily routine between the three of you always starts very early in the morning, due to Annie's habit to always get some running in before training starts
And, within about a week of dating her, Mikasa joined her
You were... less enthusiastic about waking up early just to exercise, so often, you would just stay in bed
And, ever since you made it clear that you prefer the extra hour of sleep over a run in the early morning hues of dawn, they started to speed their run up, taking it from a light jog to a running pace, just so they can get back to the barracks to spend an extra thirty minutes in bed with you before the official wake-up time
During breakfast time, you'll usually sit with Eren and Armin, just so Mikasa can spend some time with her friends (which is surprisingly scarce between her relationship and her training/duty as a soldier), though sometimes you'll let Annie sit with Reiner and Bertholdt. She never really says much at all to the two, but you know she likes to be in their presence sometimes, so you and Mikasa never pestered her about it
Unfortunately, the three of you are seldom ever partnered with each other, but more often than not, you'll be able to pester Shadis into letting you three train together
In that case, you usually forgo the actual instructions in favor of Annie teaching you and Mikasa her martials arts technique
After a long day of training, the three of you will often go straight to bed, too exhausted to do anything else, but sometimes, you'll sneak out after dark to spend a little quality time together
Usually, you do something simple and relaxing, just enough to truly unwind you from the days activities
Sometimes you'll go for a walk, other times you'll climb up onto the roof to stargaze, or sometimes you'll even just huddle up under a tree for a while
But no matter what it is, there's always a conversation
Since moments alone like this are few and far between, the three of you take the time to talk about anything and everything
The future, the present, or even the dark past they both seemed to share
You'll discuss plans for the future, about where you'll go and what you'll do if you ever retire from the military
And, seldom does it happen, but Mikasa might even bring up the idea of starting a family of your own someday
Though, with death looming so threateningly over you three at all times, it's best not to humor the idea
Still, you appreciate all moments together like this, because they truly love you and love each other more than words can express
(NSFW)
In the bedroom, things can get really heated between the three of you, considering both Annie and Mikasa are very passionate lovers
It's not something they can devote time to everyday, so when you do get down to it, you'll probably be at it for a while
As for how things get started, it's surprisingly a bit of exhibitionism
Just because they're lovers doesn't mean they still have a playful rivalry between the two of them
So, if one of them is in the mood, they'll try to isolate you and start eating you out or fingering you, just waiting until the other one inevitably walks in and joins you
Which often leads to little contests about who can please you more/give you more orgasms
Which is all well and good for you, until they get a little too into it, leaving you helplessly overstimulated without them even realizing it, with Annie's fingers in your cunt and Mikasa rubbing at your clit
But, most of the time, sex involves all three of you equally
Annie tends to be a service top most of the time, perfectly content with eating you or Mikasa out for hours, even if she doesn't actually get to come that night
Mikasa does top sometimes, but tends to be a little bit more submissive
Especially when it's just her and Annie, Annie will almost always top
But either way, they both have one shared desire—having you be in the middle of them
Since they are both very giving women, they love to please you and have you be the center of attention during sex
One of the most common positions, for example, has you situated on your back, while Mikasa rides your face and Annie hikes a leg over her shoulder and scissors you
That one almost always leaves a mess, but they get too caught up in the moment to care
Speaking of mess, Annie is a shameless lover of cum. There, I said it
Mikasa on her own is already a squirter, but if you are too, she just loses it
She loves when you come hard and squirt everywhere. She will 100% lick it off of you
In a modern AU, I imagine both of them being really fond of toys
Annie's strap game would be IMMACULATE
She would always have just the right pace as she sits you down in her lap, forcing you up and down on the silicone cock as it splits you open mercilessly
Meanwhile, Mikasa is a huge fan of vibrators, both on her and you
She loves when the two of you sit really close together, just enough so that she can stick a vibrator between you two so it stimulates both of your clits at once
I also have a feeling that they would make you wear those vibrating panties, then go out in public and take shifts with the remote
But they don't want to actually get caught doing it, so after about 30 minutes of torturous on and off vibrations, they just take you into an empty restroom just to finish you off quickly
I also have a feeling that Annie would kinda get off to watching you and Mikasa go at it without her
Like, she'd stand over you two and tell you exactly what to do to each other, and shamelessly start fingering herself as she watches
But, after quite a few rounds, you three would be way too tired to continue, eventually just collapsing right where you were
Mikasa would 100% be the queen of aftercare
Like, as soon as you and Annie are done, she'll be up to grab anything either of you need
Something to drink? A light snack? Something to clean up with? She has whatever you need
"Are you thirsty? Hang on baby, I'll go to the kitchen. Need anything else while I'm there?"
And she's so gentle with it, too
She does get a little embarrassed, though, having to take the dainty little napkin and wiping it over your cunt and the inside of your thighs to clean up all the mess you made
But, once she's satisfied with how you two are feeling, she'll lay down right next to you, pulling you or Annie into her chest, clinging onto them protectively
Which leads to the other one inevitably shuffling over to Mikasa's side as well, not wanting to miss out on the post-sex cuddles
What can you say? She's a great cuddler
And then, finally, you enjoy the gentle moment between you and your lovers, your eyes slowly closely as sleep overtakes you
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I might have just written more NSFW than I did SFW... and if so, I don't know whether to be more disappointed or impressed by myself.
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yourmcu · 3 years
Text
Mesmerized (iii)
Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Request:
@lostaurorax​ said:
hii!! i love ur writing i was wondering if u could write a natasha x reader fic were reader is part of the guardians of the galaxy and they come to the compound and natasha is just starstruck but reader plays kinda hard to get and then just a bunch of fluff !
Word count: 2,138
A/n: notes at the end
Warnings: crash, mentions of explosion, swearing, space mission, soft!nat, quill’s a jerk
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
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Your departure from Earth made its one-year mark.
Natasha hasn’t felt like herself since you left. She’s known you for a few months but it felt like ages, it felt like she knew everything about you from the amount of time you spent together.
It’s not like you had a choice. The guardians needed you and of course you’re gonna be there for them too. They saved your ass countless of time and, well, they’re your family.
“Shit!”
Natasha frowns, leaning forward a bit from her sitting position. “What’s wrong?”
You fail to respond back. You curse once more in realization that you had no more ammo left in your guns, using your fire conjuring abilities is risky in this situation too, given on what type of creatures you're fighting.
Rocket is still determined to fight but you know he’s not gonna make it alive so you pick him up and sprint to your ship.
“I had it under control!” The raccoon yells.
“You’re kidding, right? The others already left!” You boom, fiddling with the buttons and levers of the ship to try and start it. The rattling of the monsters behind getting you frazzled. “Fucking-”
“Out of the way before you burn the controls, I got it.”
You go to the back part of the ship to reload all your weapons. You sigh in relief when Rocket managed to start the ship.
The mission went horribly wrong. People died and you were outnumbered. You almost set Groot on fire because of how overwhelmed you were, the fact that Quill was expressing how pissed he was at you didn’t help. Usually the team had every mission handled and sorted. You weren’t used to losing.
And you forgot Natasha is still connected to the call.
She just listens further. It's more silent than earlier so she figured you got away from whatever happened, but she's ready to try and help whatever it takes even though she's a thousand miles away.
“Quill’s not responding,” you frown, frantically searching the back of the ship for the backup weapons. “He must’ve turned his comms off. Can you contact the other ship there?”
“No, offline,” Rocket mumbles, more focused on getting the ship moving. “But geez, you and him have to sort things out.”
“I’m sorry-”
“Save it, we’re still being followed!” Rocket swerves in attempt to knock off the creatures - who're still actively chasing the spaceship. They could fly, and there are a lot. You couldn’t imagine anything like it.
You try your best to fight them off through the spacious hatch on top, but of course you have no match for all of them. You wish Thor was here. As far as you knew he's sorting Asgard things out with Valkyrie.
Every minute just gets worse. The flight gets unstable the more those creatures are catching up, you're surprised they're so determined to destroy both of you.
“Can you go any faster?!”
“I can’t, can I?!” Rocket's driving and pressing multiple buttons for the jump at the same  time.
“Y/N,” Natasha calls out, hoping you could still hear her. “I can tell the team if you need any help-”
On your end, she just got more blasters and guns going off, orders flying between you and the raccoon.
“We need to shake them off, this ship’s not gonna handle them,” You say exasperated. “I’m gonna cause a distraction, got it? You need to get us out of here - anywhere - I don’t care how many jumps it takes!”
Rocket, as rare as it is, displays concern in his face, but he sighs and grips on the levers. “Ready when you are.”
You suck in a breath, letting out a huge burst of what seems like fire and just - heat, aiming at the creatures closest to the ship. It gets nearly all of them. The raccoon mutters a quick countdown, watching you fall unconscious from the hatch in the corner of his eye. He pushes the lever forward slowly, jumping to the one place he knows the both of you could get help.
Earth.
-
As soon as you let yourself go, Natasha loses the connection. The intensity of you using your powers like that might’ve affected it.
“God,” she mutters, pacing around her table, “Friday, you still have contact on that ship?”
“Yes, Ms. Romanoff,” the A.I responds, and for a moment, a huge explosion sounded somewhere in the forest near the compound. “...and they just landed. Would you like me to send you the exact coordinates?”
Of course Natasha doesn’t waste time to go out and find you. Thankfully Steve is around and was shaken by the sudden explosion too. It’s snowing, the forest covered with thick snow so it wouldn’t be hard to find wherever the ship crashed.
“She’ll be alright, Nat. We’ll find her.” Steve reassures.
Natasha’s breath hitches at the sight of the aircraft completely destroyed, pieces everywhere, she wasted no time to find you under all the rubble.
The unconscious raccoon isn’t hard to find, but you had it worse considering you were already out before the crash.
“Steve,” she states, walking over scraps and metal to get to you. You're sickly pale, giving Natasha the feeling that she's too late but she did feel a slight pulse. There’s blood on the side of your forehead but other than that,
“She’s freezing,” and it isn’t from the snow alone, she thought. You're colder than that. Natasha has an arm around your back and behind your knees, getting ready to carry you. “Steve, we-”
“I’ll call Bruce to get them sorted out. Try and find their stuff that’s not destroyed.” His tone is firm. He doesn’t wait for a response, gently grabbing you from her and strides back to the compound.
Natasha sighs. Almost everything she sees is unrecognizable except for a few complicated looking guns that definitely looks like Rocket’s and your bag you took on one of your dates. Biting the inside of her cheek, she opens it, sighing in relief when everything inside looked in order.
She finds a wallet-sized picture of both of you at a fair's photo booth. You always held onto it and kept it in your pocket most of the time that's why it looks worn out, probably from you holding it so much. This makes Natasha's heart ache, deciding to keep it for the meantime, carrying all your stuff that's left to the compound.
- You wake with a start. You're facing the clean white ceiling of the Avengers' med bay and you tilt your head to the side to see Natasha sleeping on a stool beside your bed with her head lulling forward and her arms are crossed. As much as you feel relieved to see her, you're confused on how you got here, how she found you. You lift your arm to gently pat the redhead awake. She sighs and goes to rub her neck. "You're cold." You smile softly, cringing at the rasp of your voice. "Didn't want you to be sore from the way you were sleeping." "I'm glad you're awake." "How long was I out?" Natasha gets up to get you a glass of water while you sit up the bed. "Twelve hours. You definitely needed the rest, everything sounded really crazy up there," she says. "Rocket's somewhere around, he left his bed the moment he got up." She hands you the glass and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. Feeling how cold you still are since they found you in the forest, she grabs a remote to crank the heater up a bit. You purse your lips and cross your legs, looking at her. "How'd you find us?" "Let's just say we heard the impact of the crash from here," Natasha eyes the bandages on the side of your head for a moment. "It was really lucky your ship crashed nearby, but you know I wouldn't hesitate to get on the jet just to find you. And when I did, I... I thought you were-"
Your hand immediately goes to cup her cheek, the contrast of warm and cold making Natasha relax in your touch. "I'm here now. You saved me." She returns your smile and holds onto your hand on her cheek. "I missed you." "I missed you too." "You know, I did specifically set those coordinates," Rocket says as he enters the room with Tony. "Technically I saved us." Your smile only widens and Natasha chuckles, turning to Tony to see what he has to say about your condition. "You really wore yourself out there fireball, is she still freezing cold?" He asks this to Natasha specifically and she nods. You furrow your eyebrows and turn to your fists, clenching them, only noticing now that you are freezing. "I'm gonna run a simple test and if all goes as expected, Bruce is gonna give you a shot." "Have you already got a conclusion on what happened to me?" You question. Tony pulls out something from his pocket. "Sure have. Now set this on fire." He tosses you a solid crumpled paper. Holding it between three fingers you expect it to turn into ash in your palm, but it stayed the way it is. You're looking at it now to help focus on setting it on fire but it still stayed as normal paper. Natasha grips you on the arm. "I think that's enough." "You went all out with your powers. I did see you let out an overwhelming amount when we were trying to outrun those creatures before you passed out." Rocket states. "Naturally it'll come back, but the shot should help you with your... body temperature and hopefully the speed of recovery." Tony adds. You groan, back landing on the pillow behind you. Not only does losing your powers suck but you aren't a big fan of needles either, but you'll deal with them if you really have to. Natasha's hand slowly crawls up to intertwine with yours, although her attention was still on Tony. "She's gonna have to stay here at least until she recovers, right?" She also looks at Rocket if he has any objections but he merely nods his head. "'Course, they're welcome here for as long as they want." Tony claps his hands together and dismisses himself, Rocket following behind. "In the meantime I'll be figuring out a way to build a new ship." The raccoon says before closing the door behind him. Natasha makes her way to sit beside you and you automatically scooch to make space and rest your head against her shoulder, taking a breath. "You alright?" You shrug. "I guess I do feel pretty useless without those powers. I mean, Quill without a doubt would never let me go on missions anymore. I'd just be a burden to everyone." She lets go of your hand to put around you. "Everything doesn't revolve around your powers, Y/N. You're not useless. I bet you could take that Quill guy down in a fist fight." You let out a chuckle, shaking your head. "What's that guy like anyway?" The sudden question makes your head perk up. "Oh, you know, Quill, he's a nice guy-" Natasha let out a noise, cutting you off. "Didn't sound like it while I was connected in the call." "He can be a mouthful to me sometimes," you admit quietly. "Not to everyone though, I do generally think he's a nice guy. I have no idea what I did that made him so pissed at me." You look up at her and she's staring at the wall, seeming like she's deep in thought. "He doesn't hurt you, does he?" "God, no. He's not like that," you say. "If he did want to of course I wouldn't just take it." Natasha smiles, "that's my girl." You hung your head low so she couldn't see the way you flushed at the phrase, biting your lip to hold in a smile. “I’m glad you have my back, though.”
“I always do. Always will.”
"So, when can I leave this room?"
"After Bruce gives you the shot, then we can do whatever we want." She tilts your head up to move your hair out of your face. You look at her with an amused expression, "where do you plan on taking me this time?” Natasha smirks at the question. She loves spending all her time with you and the sight of you enjoying yourself makes it better. "There’s a new bookstore open, thought you might like it. Also an amusement park. It’s a few hours away but I can always drive. Oh, Tony’s cabin. I’m sure he’d love you to meet his newborn Morgan.”
“Sounds like you have a list,” you muse.
Natasha hums, pulling you closer. “I do.”
-
final one!! no one’s really looking forward to this but I enjoyed writing it anyway :)
btw wrote this way before thor: love and thunder so i have no idea what him and the guardians are up to but i wish them the best
[shameless plug] check out this natasha ambience i made some people thought it was cool
318 notes · View notes
i8jisoo · 4 years
Text
𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 
han x reader | part five of dad!skz
↬ genre; fluff
↬ warnings; pregnancy & child-birth
↬ notes; jisung lil qt jajajaja i cant i love him
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u guys had been engaged for a few months n u two found out early on when u missed ur period
han was actually the one who figured it out n he dropped so many hints that u were pregnant 
he ends up flat out telling u that ur pregnant
“okay, you’re pregnant. it’s obvious!! how can you not tell!!”
sure enough the test confirmed what jisung was thinking the whole time
he’s very attentive nd hes so attached to u
u assure him ur okay to go to the bathroom alone
or go out for work
or cook dinner by yourself
he thinks anything is not safe for you to do
i feel like han is the really worried caring person, constantly thinking of the worst things that could happen n hes so buried by the worrying
his day probably goes - wake up, eat breakfast with u, practice, come back for lunch, go back and finish up practice, cuddle with u, (sometimes make dinner), eat dinner, do whatever chores need to still be finished, (write lyrics when he can), get ready for bed with u, wait until u fall asleep, talk to the baby for about half an hour, then finally he will sleep (if he isn’t up working extra)
hes worn out :(
everybody is rly worried about him n he just tells them hes fine
han rants to u about the boys talking to him asking him about it and u cant really do much except sit there in silence and nod
one day its all just too much for him
he just bursts into tears
“am i doing this right?” 🥺
u assure him he’s doing everything well but he needs to slow down
“baby, you need to take some time for yourself. you don’t need to worry about me, i’m fine. you are not, you need to relax okay?”
“can we just lay down?” “of course we can.” :(
from now on he decides to just come back for dinner like he used to, instead just staying home on bad days for u
he likes to lay his head in ur lap n watch a movie or read a book or just sleep
he will do anything for u, whether it be making u disgusting combos of food or dealing with ur crying over sad movies
mmm he loooovveesss skinship now that u r pregnant
backhugs always
just imagine him with his hands encased around the lower part of ur bump, his head and hair brushing against ur neck and chin with his chin pressed against ur shoulder
he’ll talk to u sweet af
he mentions to u a lot how he wants to marry u already
u guys just delayed the wedding for awhile since u would be uncomfortable in a dress and heels + u would be busy with ur baby after
he sits around a lot doing things just to be around u but to be relaxed while doing so
lots of kisses on ur bump because its even better than ur cheeks and lips or forehead or hand
he does the whooollee nursery by himself
he likes to lay on the soft carpet in there
he’ll sometimes write lyrics in there
maybe make music n shit
he likes it when u sit in the chair thats there for when u wanna sit and feed or just sit there n rock so u can put them to sleep
unlike everyone else yall figure out the gender before the birth
a rly cute cake that’s got blue n pink marbled fondant to cover it
its hot as hell n jisung is just clinging to u while making rounds with u around the backyard
its super cute trust me
u guys have the iconic game where u guess the circumference of ur bump 😌
guess who guesses right !!
nobody other than yang jeongin king of measuring 😍
its time for u guys to cut the cake n u two are actually nervous for this part
u guys have like forty people at ur house just watching u and waiting for the cake to be cut
u cut into it n theres the blue cake that was underneath the frosting n fondant
“we’re having a boy!”
group huggg
u guys are actually great at hiding the pregnancy and were going to release pictures from the duration of it after ur baby was born
hes hoo vv ee rr in gg the last few weeks
u have this cute sized bump, it’s just absolutely adorable
its cute tho u have this lil waddle n he’ll help u with everything u need 🥺
his clothes are all u need
now u two also had to get induced like changbin and his now wife
hes just singin n hummin while he holds ur hands n lets u rest against him
he’ll get in his final words to his little boy before he’s here
jisung is so sure ur gonna break his hands while hes ur #1 fan in the delivery room but then he hears the cries and ur grip loosens around his hands
ur baby boy is just laying on ur chest before jisung is like
“he’s so cute.”
and ur just sniffling and jisung is like aww thats cute
then u look at him so sadly
“but i hurt ur hands” :(
he looks at u like 0_0 & just laughs
he gives his red hands a good look, they DO hurt but he doesnt rly care cause its already going away
“yea well i bet pushing this squishy baby out hurt more!!”
u nod and laugh, knowing hes right
the room is silent while u cuddle with ur brand new baby boy
“u think he’s gonna be a rap star just like me?”
“han, shut up.”
big pout :(
“fine, but i’m sure he’s gonna be a free style genius just like me.”
tons of pics and he’s blowing up everyones phones with pictures of ur little boy in his cot
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+ bonus , jisung’s favorite part about your pregnancy was how you had grown so kind
he swore u were almost like candy rotting a tooth as u spoke to him
sure u had those days where u were irritated and upset
but u could be talked down in an instant with jisungs’ touch or voice, it somehow always worked to soothe u
he remembered this one time u were upset for whatever reason, but hey u were the pregnant one!!
u pouted and had ur brows furrowed nearly half the hour u were sitting on the sofa while jisung was working with papers spread on the coffee table
he let u come and sit next to him, soon letting u lay ur head down in his lap
his hand would brush against your bump, immediately seeing your face soften and a smile on your lips
there was the y/n he remembered waking up this morning
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©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.
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tooweirdforyou · 3 years
Note
hi!! it’s me again the Luffy lover hehe i thought of something really cute/funny. lets say luffy’s s/o is usually the calm/mature one in the relationship, imagine if the roles reveresed once luffy’s s/o is drunk for the first time with the strawhats at like a bar & luffy is the one that has to be the mature one and make sure she doesn’t do something out of control it would be so cute and funny!! do you think you could do something like that? if so, thank u! i love ur writing
Luffy + His Fem! S/O - Role Reversal
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a/n : ah, this was actually pretty cute, thank you for requesting again! :)) hope you enjoy!
note : I literally could not think of another title. I didn’t want it too long but I couldn’t come up with any creative.
Summary : Luffy, who is goofy and immature, ends up having to look after his female significant other one drunken night.
-
“Lufffyyy!”
Dragging out his name with a slur, Luffy smiles softly at the sight of you sprawled against the bar counter, next to him and Zoro, the latter drinking to his hearts content.
Nami was gambling away in the corner with Franky and Robin watching, Sanji somewhere surrounded by the women in the bar, Usopp was on the verge of passing out, Chopper was outside relaxing and Brook was playing his violin and singing.
The whole bar was a chaotic, loud and crazy mess but it was all fun regardless.
Honestly, Luffy didn’t think you were such a light weight, but he found it pretty funny when you were drunk.
First of all, you tried to out-drink Zoro, which resulted in your drunken state in the first place, and Zoro laughing his ass off at you for trying.
Second of all, you kept embarrassing yourself in front of the bar by singing along with Brook and screaming the lyrics to your hearts content.
And third of all, you were quite the emotional drunk.
“Luuufffyyyy!”
Hearing you call his name once again snapped him from his thoughts and watched as you sniffle and rubbed your nose.
You then latched yourself onto him and clung onto his arms tightly. “Luffy, this place doesn’t have cookies!” You wailed out, completely uncharacteristic of you.
You lost all strength in your limbs and was now just flailing and all your weight was onto Luffy.
Luffy blinks at you and your cry before a laugh erupted from his lips. “Shishishi!~ You’re so drunk, [Name]!” He was entertained from just watching you.
“Captainnn! Can you get me some cookiesss?”
You drag out in a pleading tone, looking to Luffy with the best pleading expression you could muster, quivering lips from your cries.
Luffy chuckles softly at you and wipes your tears away, exhaling a bit as he shook his head at you. “There’s no cookies, [Name].”
-
Now, Luffy wasn’t really one to get drunk, and this bar didn’t have any meat for him to eat either so he was kind of just hanging around.
But now that you, the one who was always looking after him and the crew during their adventures and troubles, was drunk as hell and couldn’t even stand up straight, Luffy couldn’t help but be amused and find this all too entertaining.
Of course, since he was the only one nearby that wasn’t drunk, it was also his duty as captain to look after you this time.
And boy, you were quite the handful.
-
“But Luffyy, I want cookies!”
You childishly pout, hugging his arm tighter and nuzzled your face against his skin.
“Get me cookies now! I order you to!” You demanded, pulling back from Luffy and gave a small glare to Luffy.
“Oi, I’m the captain!” Luffy then sighs, almost in disbelief at how different you were drunk and just grins to himself a bit. He found it extremely adorable and cute of you.
“Come on, let’s get you back to the ship, okay?”
Luffy suggests, getting up from his stool on the counter and dusted off his clothes, before holding out a hand for you.
“No!”
Luffy stared blankly at you turning away with a huff, planting yourself straight onto the counter with your back facing him.
Luffy then smiles to himself and stretches his arms, wrapping them around your torso and pulls you towards him with ease, a small shriek escaping your lips.
“Oi, Zoro! Watch the others, you hear me? I’m heading back to the ship!” Luffy calls as he began making his way out of the tavern, Zoro nodding. “Roger.”
“Oi! let me go!” Tears began to stream down your eyes at Luffy’s grip, you squirming around.
“LUUFFFYYY! HELP ME, IM BEING KIDNAPPED!”
“Oi, [Name]! It’s me, Luffy! Im carrying you!” Luffy quickly remarks, walking through the quiet street, watching as you suddenly became quiet in his hold.
“...oh..” suddenly feeling weak, you snuggle closer into Luffy since he was carrying you bridal style in his arms.
Luffy carefully moves one of his hands and wipes your tears away and stares down at you closely.
“Hey... Luffy?”
“Yeah, [Name]?” Luffy questions as he glances from you to the pathway, the moonlight as his guide of vision.
“... did I ever tell you how much I fucking love you?.. you’re so lovable... caring about others and.. being there for your nakama... and positively thinking about everything..” Slurring your words a bit, you continue to drag on your explanation for your love of him.
Luffy could feel his heartbeat picking up a hit, his cheeks unknowingly pink as he grins warmly to himself and chuckles.
“I love you more, [Name]!” He hums cheerily, which made a sleepy smile form across your lips. “Yay..! You love meeee....!”
Feeling content and satisfied with how peaceful you were feeling, you sniff the air randomly before leaning closer into Luffy.
“...you smell like meat.”
You blurted unexpectedly, Luffy unable to contain his laughter from your comment.
“Shishishi! And You smell like alcohol.” He grins at you, seeing the small curl of your lips as you close your eyes.
You could sense your vision darkening as you eventually closed your eyes and your consciousness fading away.
A slow exhale escaped your lips.
“..Thank you, Luffy..”
Seeing you slowly relaxing and the steady and slow breathing from your lips being heard, Luffy’s expression softens as he sighs gently towards you.
He tightens his grip and pulls you closer into his chest, making path to the coast to arrive at the ship.
“Of course, [Name].”
-
“Ugh.. my head..”
The throbbing headache seemed to worsen as you slowly sat up, feeling weight and a pair of arms wrapped around you.
Rubbing your eyes, you glance down to see your familiar rubber lover laying on top of your legs and hugging your waist, fast asleep.
You glance beside you to see the time but instead found a glass of water and a shot glass of medicine to ease headaches, along with a note.
Gladly taking the shot glass and water, you gulped both down with ease before exhaling out in satisfaction.
Then turning to the note, you pick up the card and read it aloud.
“To [Name]. You’re funny when you’re drunk. It’s cute! - Luffy. Ps. You’re a bit of a pain to take care of tho”
Glancing from the note to Luffy asleep on the bed, you only smile slightly and shake your head.
“I wasn’t even that drunk..”
Sure, you couldn’t remember a thing, other than partying with the crew and then suddenly waking up in bed on the ship, but you knew you weren’t THAT drunk.
Turning your attention to the sleeping Luffy on you, you smile to yourself and pat his head.
“Thanks for taking care of me, Luffy.”
As if he heard you, Luffy’s snoring seemed to have quieted a little bit and a small smile began forming on the boy’s lips.
-
a/n : ahhh, I hope you liked this! :))) 🤍 I wanted to get at least one post out so I apologize if this seems rushed!
I apologize if it’s not what you expected either, I had different ideas for this but I couldn’t really come up with as specific one 😅
It sucks I only have free time / motivation late at night and I’m exhausted too ;-;
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bitchiha · 4 years
Note
IS IT HIDAN THIRST HOURS BECAUSE I AM DOWN BABY 🥵🥵🥵that college au got me thinking... not that i condone cheating or anything... cheaters can fkn CHOKE!!! But just imagine ur shikamaru’s girl and hidan is his roommate at a college dorm(not by choice) they hate each other to fkn death so the second hidan lays eyes on u his goal is to fuck u senseless, and he succeeds eventually, ur getting fucked by hidan while ur boyfriend is sleeping in the room across 🥵🥵🥵 sorry for being a horny shit ugh
A/N: I think I upped the horny by making him fuck you in the same room. Hidans still a douchebag in this though. Also yah cheaters can choke 100%
Warnings: cheating, manipulation
That piece of shit has a girlfriend? And a pretty one too?
The second Hidan laid eyes on you he knew that he was going to have his way with you. I mean come on, you were that losers boyfriend, you probably didn’t even know what a good time was for fucks sake. It was almost a crime to leave you untouched.
It took him a while to actually get a chance, though. Hidan gave you a lot of one sided compliments and little flirty comments, this ended up in him bickering with Shikamaru 24/7 even if Hidan ever so much as looked at you the wrong way.
So when Hidan opened the door and found you standing there shivering in a little skirt and a flimsy jacket (that was definitely unfit for the snowy weather outside), he couldn’t help but let you in. He couldn’t let you freeze now could he?
“Gosh, y/n. You’re fucking freezing... Ya want some help with warming you up?”
You stared up at him cluelessly before nodding your head, brushing over the fact that he ignored your inquiry as to if Shikamaru was there. You were freezing, just what did he have in mind?..
Bending you over Shikamaru’s desk and fucking senseless you was definitely not what you had expected. But there you were, tiny little skirt flipped up, jacket strewn across the floor and Hidans hands slamming your hips back onto his dick at a pace you’d never felt before.
“Warming up now sweetheart?”
You should have stopped this. Gosh you really should have stopped it, but Shikamaru had just been so... distant lately. You two hadn’t done anything together in weeks. Everytime you’d come to his dorm or call his phone he would make some shitty excuse as to why he can’t hang out. But you weren’t stupid. You seen him walking around with that blonde exchange student... Temari was it? She was so pretty and everything you weren’t, was he?.. Was he seeing her behind your back—
Hidans voice interrupted your thoughts. “Good thing he’s such a fucking heavy sleeper. Probably doesn’t even feel it when you’re all needy beside him, does he? Or is it that he’s too much of a lazy shithead to help you when you’re bucking into him after having another one of your dirty little dreams?” Hidans dick was much bigger than Shikamaru’s, so when he rammed himself particularly hard into that sweet spot, bending over you to mutter that into your ear, you had to clamp your hand over your mouth.
Oh no, oh no! He knew about that? When you and Shika fell asleep on his bed after a study session, you woke up with a little problem. You had a dirty dream and you’re face was so flushed, your plush lips parted as you wiped the little dribble of drool from you mouth. Hidan sneakily watched you from his own bed, pretending to be passed out at the time, he watched you try and wake your boyfriend up. To try and get some help. But he wasn’t budging... so you took care of it on your own.
Hidan remembered that day so fucking clearly. It took all of his restraint not to take you out of Shikamarus bed and help you out himself. What kind of brain dead fuck gives up the opportunity to fuck a sweet chick like you? He may have been an engineering major, but Shikamaru was the stupidest fuck he’d ever met. Oh Hidan remembered the noises you made, all whimpers and desperate little moans, you sounded so fucking neglected. Just like the muffled sounds you were making right now.
“He doesn’t make you feel like this - ngh, does he?” He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, “Gosh, babe, you fit so well on my dick. If I was your boyfriend I would fuck you every fucking night. You wouldn’t ever have to take care of yourself.” Your only response was the clenching of your cunt around him.
Part of him wanted Shikamaru to wake up, wake up and find his girlfriend loosing her mind on his roommates cock. That guy was such a dip shit. He deserved to see this. But Hidan had thought about this kind of thing before when he was jacking off in the showers. He wanted to fuck you for a while in secret, behind Shikamaru’s back. Everytime the useless fuck neglected you, or cancelled a date with you, Hidan would have you to himself. Following you back to your dorm room to console you, telling you about what a bastard your boyfriend was and how well you were taking Hidans cock in your mouth—
“Hidan, Hidan, Hidan, I-I think I’m going to-“ you cut your sentence off by clamping a hand over your mouth again in attempt to stop a loud moan from leaving it.
He grinned, is this heaven? Your gonna cum all over his cock right infront of your boyfriend! Man, Shikamaru must have really fucked you up to have you so desperate and so ready to cum for someone else.
Still leaning over your body he moved one hand off your hip to rub your clit, while the other slapped your hand off your mouth and gripped your chin, forcing you to look at your sleeping boyfriend. The desk was positioned right at the foot of Shikas bed, so with every thrust Hidan made, Shikamarus bed jerked slightly. His pace was beginning to become more rapid now and you thought for sure your boyfriend was going to wake up.
But as you let out a loud moan of Hidans name and came all over his dick, Shikamaru didn’t stir once. Then, as Hidan chased his own high, cumming right into your cunt (he knew you were on the pill after hearing you tell your boyfriend), Shikamaru just snored loudly. Fucking idiot.
After finally coming down from your much needed high, you felt stunned. Still sprawled across Shikamaru’s desk, your cute little pink bra peeking out through your unbuttoned blouse, Hidan bent down to slide your panties back over your pussy. Didn’t want his cum dripping out now did we?
“You won’t say a thing, won’t you? I promise I won’t.” You processed Hidans words as best as you could before nodding gratefully.
“I-I won’t say anything.”
It took a few minutes before you actually moved off the desk. Your legs felt so sore and wobbly and your head still stuffed so full of cotton that Hidan had the mercy to pick you up and lay you down on his own bed.
He couldn’t wait to see Shikamaru’s face when he saw his girl sleeping in Hidans bed. Or when he finds out she’s crazy about his cock.
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vanchlo · 3 years
Text
The Partner / Chapter Twelve, "The Resolute"
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Word Count: 8.4k /  Story Masterlist /  Read The Assistant /  Read on Wattpad / Song: Hold Me While You Wait by Lewis Capaldi (click to listen) / Warning: Sensitive and upsetting topics, such as death, grief, and miscarriage
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"I never know when I will miss you. I can't ever predict just what will grip my heart with the reminder that you are gone. It could be anything. Anytime. Anywhere. You are everywhere and nowhere all at once. When the days are bright, I am blinded by your presence and even when the world is dark I still manage to find you. In laughter, I hear the echo of losing you. Your presence is overflowing in the tears that fall. Now that your body is gone, everything holds your being. I miss you in the cold depths of winter and I long for you in the thick summer breeze. You are my first rising thought in the morning and my last notion as I sink into the heaviness of the night. I thought we ran out of moments together, but every moment seems to belong to you. How can you be everywhere when you are nowhere to be seen? I used to worry about facing the world because I didn't know what would trigger my heartache. I used to be afraid of every feeling, every memory, every moment because I didn't know which ones held you. Now I know you are everywhere and I think that I know why. You're everywhere because you're somewhere inside of who I am. I am the bearer of your life and your memory. I am the keeper of your existence. Even though you're gone, I never really have to search for you. I never know where I'll find you but you are always there. I never know when I will miss you and it happens all the time"
- Rachel Whalen
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I had lost count of how many times I had fallen back asleep since he had left for another day of work, the second time in the last few days. I’d be telling a lie if I said that I didn’t miss him, because like he’d confessed when he thought I was sleeping, I missed him all of the time too. The difference was that I felt it now when he was gone. I wasn’t sure why I’d bitten his head off that night about going back to work. I did but couldn’t think about it after the way he broke down in front of me and I just stood there. I didn’t do a thing. Instead, I shook my head and pushed him away. God, how could I do that to him? I thought he’d moved on . . . That’s how it went. I’d wake up to an empty, cold bed and the guilt would come in crashing waves. The hot tears would follow and eventually, I’d fall back into another fitful sleep. Nightmares were almost always guaranteed, but for the first time in our relationship, I comforted myself back to sleep. Somehow, they didn’t wake him like before, but last night when he woke with a gasp that melted into tears, I think I knew because he was busy with his own.
At first, I thought I’d been imagining it, or maybe that was just my coping mechanism by now. Denial and pretending. No, it really was and it went around like a circle. Denying the denial. But when the knocking on the door turned into the dinging of the doorbell, I knew that it was real. It didn’t stop after a few times, like the mailman would. No, this person was persistent, and I definitely was not. I couldn’t even find the strength to move to look at the alarm clock to see the time. By then, it had stopped. He’d only been gone an hour now and I missed him deeply, finding it hard to not pick up the phone to ask him to come home. I did but in my own way, and not one he’d understand, despite how he knew every page of my book.
I hope work is going well
Only a few minutes passed before a reply came in with a silent vibration.
thanks it is, just meetings again and an interview
Sounds boring. I know how you hate both. New hire?
possibly. i forgot to tell u gwen left. i hope ur getting some rest
No, you hadn’t but that’s ok. I think I only talked to her like 5 times. I’m trying.
ya she was good, just kept 2 herself. want me 2 pick up anything for lunch? anything soundin good? Starbucks? pizza? u can have whatever u want
You can pick
At that, I heard my phone lock before placing it face down onto the bedside table, not able to continue a conversation about food any longer. Another wave of irrational tears came at missing him and wanting normalcy back, but the fitful sleep didn’t follow. I wasn’t sure if I was regretful or not when I peeled back the covers, shocked by the sudden cold.
The chilling silence filling the house hit me in the face when I stepped out into the hallway. It had been choking at times, mostly at night when things were at their worst. During the day, like now, it was never this quiet. Something on the tv was always playing, and I soon found myself in front of it, watching the end of a Marvel movie Harry and I once watched.
Its sequel was nearing the halfway point by the time the doorbell rang again. It was on its fourth time now and the person still hadn’t stopped. The surprise on their face was just as strong as that of mine when I found myself at the door, in front of Harry’s grandmother.
“Hi, Becky,” she said softly, a warm cadence to her words like always. I may have been biased towards grandmas, but Harry’s checked all of the points and more. I couldn’t help the squeeze of my heart at the mere sight of her, a melancholy smile spreading on her lips.
“Claire. Um, hi. Harry isn’t here right now, he had to go into work this morning,” I rush, unsure of why I’m telling her this, except for I know why. I hadn’t spoken to another human being that wasn’t Harry or my doctor since . . since it had happened. Sure, texts to Skye, my dad, and Robbie. It was the only way to placate them from telling them I didn’t want to see them. Can I blame them, though?
“Oh, that’s okay. I was uh, hoping I could come in,” she suggests. I stand there, taken aback by her request. I had come to love this woman like she was my own grandmother, and yet here I am, not opening the door for her. “Maybe we could wait for him together with some brookies.”
Dropping my eyes, I watch as she lifts a saran wrapped plate of chocolatey looking cookies. I didn’t need to look any longer to know what they were. Her famous brownie cookies that Harry had compared any cookie or brownie of mine to over the years, and I eventually had found out why.
“You know I can’t turn those down,” I mumble, feeling the first hints of a smile. She grins for me instead, following me into the house that somehow feels even emptier when we step inside. Awkwardly, I closed the door behind her, pulling my hands back into the oversized King’s College crewneck of Harry’s I’d stolen long ago. “Can I . . Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? Water? Tea?” I stumble, watching as she takes a seat at the island, setting down one of those cloth bags beside her.
“Coffee would be fine, honey,” she says, and always with a smile. I welcome the distraction, feeling as if I’d forgotten how to talk to another person. No, I know that I have. I hadn’t even been able to carry on a conversation with Harry, nonetheless his grandmother.
At times, I still felt uncomfortable around his parents, especially his dad. If there was one of them that I felt the easiest around, it was Claire. I’m reminded of the bouquet of black eyed susans probably now wilting on the table when she notes the array of flowers taking up space over there. I nod at her words while closing the lid of the instant coffee machine, placing a tall mug underneath the spout. The compassionate words scribbled in her cursive with its accompanying card come back to me, and suddenly, the steaming coffee grows blurry before my eyes. Sometimes, I wondered if she had a feeling about things like me, because as the first tear fell, she speaks an apology.
“I’m sorry for coming unannounced. I had let Harry know I was in town and would stop by today, but he must have forgotten to mention it to you,” she begins in a low volume, a Harry-like molasses shining in her voice. I mumble an ‘it’s okay’ while watching the coffee continue to fill the mug. It’s almost done, but then what will I do to distract myself? “Harry had said your fridge was quite full, but I couldn’t help but make a few of your favorites to bring you both. Times like these, cooking feels like the last thing you want to do.”
“A lot of things do,” I find myself saying, surprising her I’m sure and especially myself. I hadn’t even been able to find it in myself to put that feeling into words and say them to Harry. It was a blessing and a curse how we could read each other so well, but I know I’d closed myself off from him a long time ago. On accident and then, on purpose.
Ripples form across the surface of the liquid as the last few drops plummet into the dark abyss. I wait, staring at the steam rising from the mug, unsure as to why. A silence had embedded itself into these walls so long ago I couldn’t remember, and it sat between us now too. I still didn’t know how to broach it, and there was no nudging the switch that would let me talk about her. I truly didn’t know how to, not even to her father. Sometimes, I wanted to forget her so I’d stop hurting, but that felt like an impossibility and then a crime. Gulping, I wipe at my cheeks and thread my fingers through the ceramic handle.
“Those are a beautiful assortment of flowers,” she comments again when I set the drink down in front of her. A forced ‘thank you’ leaves my lips when I turn around and walk towards the fridge. “You and Harry are so loved, and so was your baby.”
I’d opened this fridge how many times over the years, and now as the handle sits in my palm, I can’t find it in myself to do it. The forgotten coupons, lists, photographs, drawings from Harper and Ollie, and magnets grew hazy before my eyes. The hum of the coffee machine cooling down wasn’t enough to mask the whimper that escaped my lips, no matter how desperately I tried to shove it down. After breathing in and out a few times, it still didn’t help, but I was able to open the door and grab what I’d needed.
Keeping my head down, I set the coffee creamer in front of her, not spending a second more facing her with the damage on my cheeks. As the spoon clinks against the sides of her mug, I distract myself by finding room in the fridge for the filled tupperware containers she’d taken from the bag. Scribbled labels adorn the top of each one, but I look past them as I stack them on a shelf. From the corner of my eye, I saw her stand from her seat to look at the flowers, thumbing at the typed messages. It’s not until the last one is snug against a container of yogurt and strawberries that somebody says something.
“They always say the same things, don’t they?” she murmurs with an out of place scoff, sounding like a hum from her lips. The tears had dried up as I thought about how to fit a container of beef stroganoff amongst tater tot casserole, but when I turned around, her face still falls. “It was the same with Steven too. They all say that they understand, but there’s no way that they can. They hadn’t lost their spouse, or . . their baby.” This roots me to the spot and we spend the next few moments looking at each other as her Soft Rose lipsticked lips fall.
“I didn’t want to come, Becky, because I know that when I lost my loves, I wanted to be alone. But that was where my demons lied in wait, and I don’t want you to go through the same thing I did when I lost my baby,” she continues. I couldn’t tell if it was the light or the way my eyes deceive me with a returning wetness, but a similar glint appears in hers. It holds my attention for a mere moment until my heart starts to pound against my ribs. “Steven and I were a little younger than you and Harry when we lost our baby at four months.”
There could be no saving my throat nor my eyes as I gulp against the dryness, feeling all of the wetness detour down my face. Her words ricochet inside of me, bouncing off walls. For the first time in too long, they sink in and make me feel something. I resist at first, not wanting to let my chest shake or my heart race, but there’s no stopping it. Staring back at her, she quietly sits back down and takes a sip from her coffee. Looking back to me, a corner of her mouth twitches as a gleaming droplet beads at her chin.
“What has it been now? Fifty five years and I still miss them . . my little baby,” the blood pounds in my ears as I stare at her in what, amazement? Horror? Complete and utter surprise? Probably, all of them.
“Gran, I-I never knew,” a voice says from behind me. Turning, another wave of shock courses through me at the sight of Harry with his hand on the door to the garage.
“I never told anybody, except for my immediate family when it had happened . . The thing was, the taboo around miscarriages and infertility hasn’t changed a whole lot since then. It disappoints me really . . Back then, you didn’t talk about it. Now, sometimes you talk about it, but it’s just the same. It’s near to impossible to speak about. Friends and family want to say something, but they don’t know how to without hurting you. So, instead of mentioning the loved one you lost, people don’t when they think of them, and they’re forgotten. That’s always been my worst fear, and I don’t want either of you to go through that- I cried when your mother told me what had happened, Harry. My heart breaks for the both of you, knowing that you’re going through the same nightmare that my Steven and I did.”
A puff leaves his lips and I can almost hear him gulp as sound evades us. Words haven’t been a friend to my lips in what feels like months, and right now isn’t an exception.
“I’m so sorry, Gran.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Harry. I’m so sorry that you lost your baby . . I heard it was a girl, your daughter,” her words are ginger and slow. Somehow, another piece joins the puzzle, but it still leaves me staring at the floor as tidal waves crash inside of me. “It was a long time ago, but I still miss them and wonder who they’d be. I’m sorry to say that never goes away, and that the whole b-s of ‘time heals all wounds’ isn’t entirely true. You just build up scar tissue to it, but some days are worse than others. I miss Steven terribly some days, like the day you announced your engagement, and your pregnancy. When your mother told me over the phone three weeks ago, I wished he could’ve been there too, for you to talk to about fathers losing a child. Men are still pressured to not show emotions but it was just as hard on him to lose our baby, and sometimes fathers are forgotten.”
A mess of emotions roils inside of me, flipping my stomach upside down. My heart too, arguably. The last sound that I make out is a sniffle of his before I’m bringing my hands to my eyes, and sobbing against them. It felt like I stood there for minutes before escaping down the hall, when it was only a few seconds in reality.
I wasn’t certain if they knew what I did. That I could hear them from the bedroom down the hall, the place I’d come to retreat to instead of Harry’s arms. I felt him coming towards me just moments ago, but I couldn’t do it. I think I’d almost forgotten what his touch felt like. If they thought I could hear them, they probably had mistaken me for being asleep or for not listening. I think they tried to keep their voices down, but despite Harry being a closet musician, there wasn’t much for treatment to these walls. He’d joked before about having sex one night his mom stayed here but I pushed him away, chalking it up to thin walls.
Now, the memory wasn’t that funny to me as I heard their conversation. I almost felt guilty, as if I was cheating by hearing them, but this was the only way I could take part in a conversation I know I should be part of. I didn’t think that I could even speak if I had wanted to, because of the hiccuped sobs that filled my chest, making it hard to speak. I know that I made the right decision when my head rests against the door upon hearing about what they say next, about me.
“I can hardly get her to have a conversation with me, Gran. Let alone about . . about the baby.”
“Oh, Harry. You just have to give her time.”
“I know and I have, but it’s becoming all the harder to feel as time passes. She’s getting worse and I’m barely staying put together. It scares me so much, because I don’t want to lose her too. If I did, I’d lose everything I have to live for.”
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At last, the sound of my choked sobs drowned out that of their voices. By the time my lungs calmed down and my heart hardened once more, it was quiet. I missed his voice despite how it had almost betrayed me to another, and made me hurt. My rumbling stomach ultimately won the race and it was what led me down the hall, and without knowing, back to her. I blamed it on the appetizing smell wafting from the kitchen.
I’d already seen her and had decided to keep going, but upon passing the island where she sat again, I heard her intake of breath. Harry wasn’t anywhere to be seen, despite the wiped clean plate in the sink with the large fork and an empty can. He was the only one who used them and who drank the sparkling waters that I thought tasted like bug spray.
“I’m so sorry, Becky. The last thing I wanted was to upset you, honey.”
“You don’t have to apologize. Frankly, I’m rather tired of people saying those two words, but thank you,” I return, a steadiness arriving in my voice that I didn’t know I’d missed. “Can I-?”
“Of course, it’s all yours,” she insists with a smile. Nodding, I pick up the serving spoon and a plate, feeling my stomach grow happy at the sight and smell of her famous homemade lasagna. “There’s garlic bread in the oven and salad in the fridge. I’m just going to use the little girl’s room.”
I almost smile, realizing that I’ve missed her and just maybe, I feel okay enough to talk about it. I’d found a seat at the island beside her empty cup of coffee, already digging into the lasagna. An almost embarrassing moan left my lips at the taste of the layers of cheese, pasta, and bolognese sauce.
“Leave it to Claire to find the way to your heart,” somebody comments. Turning, I find Harry walking towards me with a tilt to his lips. He unrolls the hem of a Queen Bohemian Rhapsody shirt, looking more like himself now that he’s out of a suit. Sometimes, I still catch myself thinking that it was always the opposite, seeing how I’d know him to always be in suits for so long.
To my surprise, I don’t flinch or pull back when his hand arrives on my shoulder as I wipe my mouth with a napkin.
“You don’t know how happy it makes me to see you eating, and enjoying it . . I’m surprised you haven’t broken into that plate of brookies yet,” he comments. Something happy buds on my lips when his lips sponge a kiss to my temple.
“So am I,” I reply, cutting myself another bite of the food. To my happiness, his arm comes around my shoulder and stays there. I welcome it and feel a warmth grow in my gut upon finding the courage to meet his eyes. They hold something that I learn to be mischief when he plucks one of the cookies off the plate. “Hey, save some for me.”
“Don’t worry, they’re all yours. Well, except a few for me. Maybe we could split them down the middle. Half for me and half for you,” he suggests with a cocky shrug to his broad shoulders. It surprises us both when my lips spill a few second giggle. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed that sound.”
“I’ve missed you,” it’s but a squeak and still, I know he hears it by the sad curl of his lips. “I’m going to try.”
“Thank you, my lovebug. That’s all I can ask for,” he smiles, stealing a quick peck from my lips. It catches me off guard and I find myself staring at him while he manages to take a bite that’s half of the cookie. He winks at me and I turn away, shoveling a large bite of cheesy pasta past my lips.
Another bite had donned my fork by the time Claire found her seat beside us. I’d made a dent in my garlic bread by now as Harry worked on his second cookie.
Swallowing, I loaded my fork with a scrap of melted cheese and bolognese sauce. “Claire. How . . How did you do it? Be okay again after losing your baby? It . . It feels impossible,” the words seem to come from nowhere at first.
After a few moments, I know where they stem from, and just how much importance they hold. It looks back at me in Harry’s eyes when I peer up at him, smiling back when he thumbs away a tear below my eye. As her response hits our ears, I reach my arm out and across his back, holding tightly onto his side. I didn’t let go once as we cried together with his grandma about our lost babies, and neither did he.
I went to bed with a hope in my heart, thinking that tomorrow would be different. Alas, I woke up to an empty bed and it wasn’t. I wasn’t surprised but sure, I was let down. I knew that somebody else would be much more disappointed than I was, if that were possible.
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It wasn’t long after my waking realization that there was a knock on the door anda creak, “Hey, buggie. I’m making french toast. How many pieces do you want?” The rest of the night had been uneventful, for once. His grandma stayed for another hour or two as we ate cookies and I finally talked about it. Her. Now, lying with my back to Harry, I didn’t know how to do that again. To talk. “Wakey wakey, it’s nearly noon.”
His voice was closer now as his hands settled on my shoulders from behind. The feeling of his thumbs kneading the tissue made me want to let him drive away the intrusive thoughts. To let him win, but I didn’t know how. Yesterday had seemed like a fluke, as I looked back on it. Even if he was her father, how could I explain to him the hollowness that had filled me when I remembered that my child had died inside of me? No, that wasn’t something he could understand, nor could he hear how much I wished he had been there that morning. That the fact he wasn’t there had changed everything. I couldn’t tell him that and I never wanted to, but I’d gotten close. At the times his nagging and hovering drove me up the wall, my tongue itched to deal the worst blows just to get him off my back. I knew it was wrong, so much of it was but I didn’t know how to stop. All I knew how to do was to drown myself in my regret afterwards. Sometimes, I was mad that we couldn’t keep alcohol around, but at others, I was glad for it.
His molasses voice murmurs my name once more, another time that I ignore, until I can’t. “No thanks.”
“I can bring it in here for you. There’s bacon and strawberries too. Orange juice, as well.”
Shaking my head, I bury my face deeper into the pillow, finding that it has his smell. At one time, he had been my safety blanket, but now it was his smell that could calm me down. I wanted to feel guilty about it but I didn’t have the energy to feel guilt because of anything else as it was all focused on one thing.
“I’ll have a little bit,” I surrender, listening to his hopeful response before leaving. For once, he let me eat alone in the bedroom. But he still inspected my plate, and I could tell that he was biting back a remark as he read the paper at the island.
“Can we talk?”
“What about?” I replied, bending over to place my dishes in the dishwasher. Standing back up, I fail at readying myself for his next onslaught of questions. The ones that I can’t answer.
“You know . . About Phoebe,” he answers. I hear it, the way he has to shove the words past his lips in order to get them out. I only know because I’ve done it a thousand times, and often with him. You do it when it’s too hard to say, but you know that it has to be done regardless.
“What’s there to talk about?”
“Becks,” he sighs, annoyance clear in his voice. “I thought you said that you were going to try. Last night went so well and you did great, I-.”
“I just can’t do it today. Okay, Harry?” I retort tearfully, catching the sagging of his features when I lock eyes with him. Sighing, I forget the cookie I’d picked up, placing the saran wrap back over it.
“So what, we need to schedule a fricken time to talk about it?”
I’d begun my retreat, but I wasn’t far enough yet. No, if I was in earshot of Harry, it wasn’t over yet. It had always been that way, ever since the beginning.
“Harry, please,” my words start, decorated with tears that drag my words underwater.
“We got pregnant and we . . we had a miscarriage, Becks. It’s nearly been a month now, but what comes next? When do we get back to normal?”
I hadn’t even been facing him and the words felt like a slap in the face. The look on mine must have felt similar to him, because when I turn around to look at him through blurry eyes, he melts into a puddle of regret.
“I didn’t mean it that way, Becks. Not-.”
“Not what way, Harry? That we should just forget about it and move on with our lives? God, you’re sounding like the doctor the other day who said that we can start trying again whenever we want. But I don’t want to try again yet, Harry, because I’m too scared that we’d lose another one- I mean, what if I can’t have kids? And- I don’t want to forget her or replace her,” but he didn’t hear the last part and I hadn’t decided if I’d wanted him to.
“You don’t know that, Becks, and that’s not what I meant at all. I promise,” he interrupts. The legs of his oversized sweatpants sag down to his ankles when he stands. “I didn’t say we had to get pregnant again right away. I’m fucking scared too. I just mean that I want us to get better. Collectively and on our own. I hate seeing you so upset all of the time, and just want you to be happy. We’re supposed to get married sometime this year and I still don’t know when that’s going to happen. The house is going to be ready in a few months, and I wanted to bring you there one day to look at the progress.”
I had begun to shake my head long before he’d stopped talking. It brought an edge to his words and an annoyance that I didn’t like, despite inciting it. A loud puff passes his lips and he returns to the chair, raking a hand through his hair. That either meant annoyance or boredom, or both. Like I tend to do, I take it personally and figure he’s both annoyed and bored of me, not that it was anything new lately.
“I can’t do that, Harry. I-I can’t,” fumbling with my words, my hand gets caught in my hair as I avoid his eyes. It doesn’t stop him from retorting an inquisitive ‘why not?’ “How am I supposed to go and see the house we’re building that has five extra bedrooms, Harry? How do you expect me to look at the rooms we planned out for o-our kids, and one for . . for Phoebe’s nursery when she’s not coming anymore?”
“Becks,” the nickname leaves his lips like that one breath that’s knocked out of you when you fall. The wrinkles that are rarely there above his eyes return as his eyebrows fall deeply. “I didn’t . . I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry.”
“And so am I, but . . I just can’t do that right now, o-or talk about her. I’m sorry,” I say with haste to my words and in my actions. The sad sound from his lips follows me to the couch where I perch, pretending to watch the tv. He doesn’t join me and after a while of pretending, my eyes start to droop.
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The image of Shrek and Fiona making animal balloons falls away until a sound wakes me. Time had passed because now Fiona stands in front of Lord Farquad and Shrek is nowhere to be seen.
“I’m going to run an errand. Is there um, anything you need, bug?” he murmurs, the jangling of keys adorning his words.
“No thanks.”
“Okay, I won’t be long- Becks?” he speaks up, clearing his throat at last. I call back a question and wait as he idles. “I really am sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean anything insensitively or to upset you. I’d never want to do that.”
“I know, Harry. It’s okay,” are the last words that pass between us before he bids me a goodbye. I welcome the lack of silence but curl into the couch more, pulling the blanket around me as the movie continues.
My head throbbed when I stood up, but it had been happening a lot lately. I knew it was because I hadn’t been eating much, and as I think about that, my feet lead me to the fridge.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt full after eating, and still wanting a cookie afterwards. Like I do now. Licking the crumbs from my fingers after the last bite, the wooden floor is cold against my bare feet. For a reason I don’t know, I soon am staring up the staircase, and in that direction. It pulls at me to climb the stairs, but something deep down throbs in denial.
Instead, my attention is stolen when my ringtone blares from the couch. I lose my phone half of the time these days and so calls went unanswered. Assuming it was Harry with a grocery question, I picked it up without looking at who it was.
“Hi, Boops.”
“Dad,” I almost sigh, but I was unsure as to why. Was it the bombardment of talking to my dad on the phone for the first time in almost a month? Most likely. Or was it the homesickness that grew in my gut at the sound of his voice. “Daddy.”
“Hi, honey. I was hoping you’d answer. I’ve missed your voice.”
Sinking onto the couch, my bottom lip quivers as I try to breathe in slowly, but my heart won’t listen. It hasn’t for a while now.
“I’ve missed yours, Daddy.”
“Oh, baby girl,” he says in an exhale. Already, I know that he hears what my voice is dipped in, but I don’t hide it. It was too late for that. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
“I’m getting really sick of that word, but thanks, Dad.”
His classical chuckle begins its opening but it falters there, and so did any chance at mine. Silence had rarely been uncomfortable with my Dad. That was only when I’d gotten into trouble or when I was trying to tell him about something that had happened with my Mom, which usually went hand in hand. Over the years, I could hardly count the times silence had grown awkward between us, until it did now.
“What are you doing?” he decides to say, lifting my eyes to the tv screen where it appears Fiona and Farquaad will get their Happily Ever After. I knew without needing to think what would happen next. They wouldn’t, because it never really happens that way. No, it’s not that easy or immediate.
“Watching Shrek on the couch.”
“Is Harry there?” he murmurs a question.
“No, he went to do something not long ago. I don’t know what,” I answer, wrapping the tassels of the blanket around my finger until it hurts. “I think he’s mad at me. I can’t tell anymore, it seems like he always is.”
“I’m sure that’s not true, honey.”
Shaking my head for nobody to see, I taste blood when pressing my lips together to hold back the whimpering. Sniffling, I breathe in raggedly before speaking, “I think it is . . I can’t blame him, because I’ve been so horrible to him, Dad. H-He was supposed to be a Daddy and I’ve forgotten that he’s g-going through all of this too. I’ve been in my own little world being sad a-about the baby, and I forgot about him, Dad. I’m supposed to marry him soon, and I don’t even wear my ring anymore, and I can’t go upstairs, and-,” he doesn’t cut me off. I leave that honor for myself as I watch the color drain from my finger when I unwrap the tassel. I’d slowly come to hate the color red, even refusing to eat strawberries at first. It’d become the color I’d hated most after . . after that morning.
“I’m sure that he understands, Ree, or he’s at least trying to. I’ve spoken to him a few times now, and he’s not mad at you. He’s just frustrated and overwhelmed. Harry hates to see you unhappy, it’s always been that way with you too, and vice versa. He wants to fix everything, but I told him that’s not always possible. You can’t fix another person . . . and neither can you, Boops. You’re doing your best and so is he, and after a while-.”
“But I’m not, Dad. I’m hardly trying, only when I feel like it. I . . I don’t know how to do any of this and I don’t want to. I don’t want her to be gone. I was supposed to be a Mom. Her Mom,” I weep, pressing the handful of blanket against my eyes, catching my tears.
“I wish I could make it all better for you too, honey. Ever since you were little, I wanted to kiss the owies better and tell off the kids who were mean to you, but . . . you have to do it yourself and when you can, Becky. You can’t rush this. Grief, it doesn’t have a timetable or a road map- and, honey, you are a Mom. You’re Phoebe’s Mom. Nothing will ever change that,” somehow, I cry harder at his last words, melting into the couch.
“Thank you, Daddy,” I cry into the phone, wishing it was his shoulder, instead. It’s a few moments filled with the sound of my tears and his own sniffles, before I speak again. “But how do I . . how do I let Harry back in? I pushed him away without meaning to and now we’re so far apart, Dad.”
“I think that you need to remember that he’s grieving the loss of a child too. Your child together, Ree, and that he’s feeling the exact same feelings that you are. He’s devastated at not getting to be a father to Phoebe, to meet her, watch her grow up into a person, and do all of the things that you’re grieving the loss of too. You’re a team, honey, and you need to give each other some grace too. There aren’t any rules to this and maybe I shouldn’t talk because I’m divorced, but the first reason you’re there with each other is because you love each other. You have to remember that too, honey. Hey, I’m sorry, I think I’m burning my dinner in the oven. Can I call you back later, sweetie?”
“Yeah, Dad. Of course. Um, thank you. That really helped me,” I reply, swiping at my tears with the dry side of the blanket.
“I’m glad to hear it. I love you, Boops.”
“I love you too, Daddy,” and he’s gone. All I hear is the silence of the dead call and Shrek’s voice on the tv as he yells at Lord Farquaad. It’s what fills my ears and distracts my mind when I lay my head on the pillow, resting my hand on my belly without thinking. But unlike every other time I’d found myself doing it since . . since I was actually holding my baby, I let it stay there, wildly wishing she could be here watching Shrek with me.
I heard him come in when the credits of the movie are switching to the opening of its sequel. It was arguably the best, in my opinion, but it was something Harry and I had always disagreed upon. The memory sparks an invitation for him on my tongue, but upon raising my head, I watch him disappear down the hallway.
My ears aren’t sure what to focus on, the sound of his parting footsteps, the racing of my heart, or guitar strings soon being plucked from down the hall. It wasn’t much of a choice, because my feet were already leading me towards his study. A place where he had been spending a lot of time recently. I find myself gravitating towards the sound and wanting to hear more, but I stop outside the door nervously. My heart pulls me forward, despite the way it gallops, making me feel sick to my stomach. Standing there, I wonder why this is something I’m nervous about, but nothing is the same anymore. I hadn’t felt this way for what had it been now, years? There hadn’t been a time since the beginning that I was nervous to talk to Harry, and yet, here I stood doing just that.
His playing stopped and I perked up, making out the scribbling of pen on paper. Was he writing a song, I wondered quietly and wished I could ask. I didn’t know how to, and that was something I’d thought too many times lately. How to get out of bed. To eat a whole plate of food. Talk to my family and friends. I hardly even knew how to talk to Harry anymore. That’s what was holding me back, wasn’t it? Sure, if you wanted to sum it up.
“I know you’re standing outside the door . . Did you need something?” Harry murmurs, an edge to his voice. It was one that had appeared out of the blue and refused to leave. I only knew because I’d felt my voice change like that too.
There’s the creaking of the floor before I press the ajar door open enough for me to fit through. I find him sitting back down on his office chair, but he faces away from me, a guitar propped on his lap.
“How’d you know?” I ask softly, still awkwardly standing in the doorway. His eyes flit to mine and I’m unsure of why I look away, except that I can’t face him. No, not when mine are still wet and I’m sure they aren't going to dry up anytime soon. Not after what I’m about to say.
“You forget how long I’ve known you,” he mumbles, peering down at the moleskin journal he scribbles in. “Four years, give or take. You learn their cues and the sounds they make when you come to know somebody for that long. That’s how I heard you at the door, it was your footsteps.”
“Oh,” I respond flatly, feeling dumb. His tone doesn’t imply it and nor do his words, but the embarrassment has run rampant already.
Watching him write and escape to his own little world had always been one of my favorite things to observe. Even his handwriting was something that brought me . . comfort. I blamed it on the familiarity, but as it pours from his pen, it makes my heart slow down a few ticks.
“My Dad called and we talked for a little bit.”
Harry hums a reply, crossing something out on the piece of paper. Scratching his head, he sighs whilst staring at the writing. I can’t make it out from here, but once again, the silence finds its old spot. Remembering his initial question when he heard me at the door, I worry that I’m bothering him. Gulping past the nervousness and doubt, I pedal forward.
“Was that yours?” I ask warily, noting his head rising so he can meet my eyes for a split second. They hold a question in them, perhaps dozens. “The song. It . . It was really pretty.”
“Yeah . . It’s just something I’ve been playing around with,” his answer comes out in a pillowy tone. It has changed ever since . . since I’d run away from him, and I hear it now as he speaks his reply.
“I really . . really like it,” I comment, looking towards the ceiling when his grandfather’s Gibson acoustic grows hazy in my eyes.
“Thank . . you. Hey, what is it? Did your dad say something that upset you?” it had been so long since I’d heard that steely edge absent from his voice. I don’t know why I mourned it, because it was my fault it had ever arrived in the first place. Wasn’t it? “Becks.”
“Yeah, he said a lot of things th-that made sense, actually,” I confess, dropping my head to stare at my fingers that I wring. I’m unable to ignore the feeling of my lips trembling against each other, despite busying myself with adjusting my rings. They stop when I arrive at the one that speaks volumes, and how deeply I’d ignored it.
Braving the storm, I finally look at him. His greens are patient and soft, something neither of our eyes have been for the other for awhile now. Without breaking eye contact, he settles his guitar onto its stand and discards the pad of paper.
“Harry, c-can I have a hug?” slowly, the overdue question comes.
“Of course,” he responds, a corner of his mouth quirking up. Already, he’s holding his arms out towards me. “You’ve never needed to ask, buggie.”
“Thank you,” I murmur, feeling the air whoosh out of me when my body touches his. Somehow, my chest shakes harder with a new sob. It only worsens when his hands come under my thighs, lifting me up to sit on his lap.
“It’s been so long since we’ve hugged,” I know he doesn’t mean to, but it feels like a chasm through my chest when he says that. The guilt that had arrived at my dad’s words increases by tenfold.
“I’m sorry,” it’s but a whisper against his neck, my favorite place for hide and seek. But it was always him seeking me, it had been for months now, and I hadn’t let him win. Not once.
“What?”
“I’m so sorry for everything, Harry,” I repeat, pulling back to find his greens swarmed by tears. Swiping my thumb under them, I catch the way that they leak with sadness. “For how horribly I’ve treated you this last month, and how . . how I forgot that you- you lost our baby too.”
“Oh, honey. You don’t have to-,” he begins, adamant in his apology. One that I won’t accept.
“No, but I do have to apologize,” I sob, surprised at the way I’m shocked by the rough feeling of his cheeks. It had been so long since I’d touched him like this, despite watching him grow his beard out. “My dad, he . . he put it into perspective for me. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before, I hate myself for that, for-.”
“Hey, don’t hate yourself for anything. This last month has been a Hell we never thought we’d have to endure. Something we shouldn’t have to deal with, and one that isn’t our fault,” he insists, thumbing at the place where a dimple would usually fall in my left cheek. I’d forgotten it was there, just like I’d done the same to him.
“But all you’ve been doing is trying to take care of me, and I made that so hard for you,” comes my cry against his palm, feeling the way he holds me together from breaking for the thousandth time. No, that would imply I’d have been put back together, but that wasn’t something I’d done. “You tried to make me eat and I fought you on it until you stopped talking about it. I argued with you and ignored you when you were just trying to keep the world going, but you never stopped, even though I did. You didn’t stop living and loving me when I stopped.”
“Becks, it’s okay,” he repeats, the words sliding into my ears as my hand wanders to his neck. A hoodie with cartoons from our childhoods dons his upper half, tattoos peeking out from the color. I found the charm of his necklace instantaneously, something I could do in the dark.
“But it’s not, Harry. It’s not okay how I treated you. I forgot you and that you’ve been mourning the loss of your child too. Our b-baby,” I whimper, sniffling when I inhale uneasily. My fingers shake before me until he takes hold of my hand, surrounding it with his own before pressing it to his lips. “I’m so sorry.”
“I forgive you, Becks. I always will,” Harry says, tucking his chin over my head when I melt against him. “I meant it that first night after we came home and you disappeared on me . . We lost our baby, our child, and I can’t . . I can’t lose you too, Rebecca. I have, time and time again, and I can’t do it again. I’ve hardly stayed pieced together lately being so far away from each other like we have . . God, the only thing that kept me going was just thinking, ‘one more day’ for so many days.”
Hiccuping, my hands brace themselves against his taut back, feeling his own drift along my spine. Shaking my head against the crook of his neck, I struggle to breathe, let alone speak, “I’m so sorry, Harry. I can’t believe how awful I was to you. We’re supposed to get married soon, and I can’t even live up to that in sickness and health part of the vows.”
He continued to murmur assurances that everything was okay, and for the first time in a long while, I found myself believing him. Crying against his neck, I heard his own shed tears onto mine as my hands rubbed circles into his shoulders.
“I’m sorry I got mad at you that day for going to work, even though you asked me and I said it was okay . . And-.”
“Shhh, it’s okay. You don’t have to do that, Becks,” he assures me, pressing a kiss to my head. Again, I believe him, and it feels easier to breathe. Just in the slightest.
“I was such a bitch to you.”
Something sparks inside of my chest at the sound I hear next, one that had been lost along the way. His laugh. His song.
“I’ve been known to be quite the dick on one or two occasions, as well,” I savor the glint that appears in his eyes upon pulling away. It had been one of the first times I was able to lift my head since before all of this had happened, because it had been better just to hide. No, not now.
The quirk to his lips is a full on tilt now, and through them, I’m reminded of what drew me to this man in the first place. It was those eyes and that smile that made me melt upon impact. Well, then there’s the sunshine they share, and how I taste it when his lips meet mine for really the first time in what, a month. Emotion pulls at me from somewhere underneath at the thought, but he makes me forget rather quickly. He’s always been good at that.
His peppermint chapstick sticks to my lips after he’s pulled away several seconds later, trying to catch his breath. The cobwebs have been dusted away in more ways than one, and it feels weird at first, wrong almost, but I laugh. It catches him by surprise too and his eyes focus on me, and only grow brighter.
“I’ve missed kissing you, and laughing with you,” Harry grins, pressing one more to my lips before brushing his nose against mine.
“So have I. I’m s-.”
“I swear, if you say that word one more time,” he tuts, shaking his head with his bottom lip caught between his teeth.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to figure out something,” he says, sighing for the dramatic effect. I giggle along with him a moment later, remembering the flecks of gold hidden in his eyes. I remember a lot, too much almost, and the gold is gone as my eyes flood once more. “I know it’s hard, Becks. Something has never been this difficult for me . . for you either. But we have to talk, and I’ve been aching for ages now to talk to you . . I don’t want to ignore it, because they shouldn’t be forgotten. Our daughter. We need to talk about them, about her,” I’m nodding before he can finish, feeling his warm lips against my forehead as I focus on my breaths. “In and out, bug. In and out. We can do this. We’ll start slow.”
I haven’t stopped nodding, but once my lungs start to work again, I pull away and find his eyes once more. It comes to me and I can’t hold it back in anymore, knowing I need to say it first. To tell him.
“Okay, let’s talk about o-our daughter,” I begin, cringing at the sound of my voice breaking already. He nods, cupping my face in his palm, the sweetest of looks on his face.
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doubledeaky · 5 years
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im back to sending you a million requests because those last two were SO FUCKING GOOD (from @deakyfordays) ok so can i get a gwil fic where hes like 'oh u can draw, let me see ur stuff' and basically u draw some like ~nude~ things that are classy but also gets him horny af and hes like oh shit let's fuck???
sorry this took me like a week, but ok I’m an artist and this made me super happy, thank you for supplying me with that good stuff @deakyfordays
okay so you and Gwil are supposed to be hanging out at your apartment, a Friday night tradition between you two, but Gwil knocked out half way through the movie you were both watching and instead of waking him up from a nap you knew he needed you decided to retire to the comfy chair by the window and work on a few of your incomplete sketches
Gwil was aware of your knack for art but wasn’t exactly informed to the extent at which you drew. Most of your pieces were anatomy studies and the occasional full blown piece, a nude model/figure at its center. The human body happened to be your muse and there was no shame in that. Gwil had never seen your art, and you had no intentions of showing him said art. 
You were idly working on a self portrait, a very nude self portrait, when Gwil began to stir and grumble from your couch. You grinned, but continued to drag your red drafting pencil across the sketchbook in your hands. You were so entranced in the motion of your hand that you didn’t notice Gwil get up and settle himself behind you until he spoke. 
“That’s really good.” He mumbled, his voice thick and raspy with sleep. 
“Shit!” You squealed, your entire body jumping a few inches from the comfy day chair. You instinctively shut your sketchbook and tossed it to the side, your cheeks burning in embarrassment. Gwil raised a questioning brow and reached for your sketchbook.
“Can I see?” He said, reaching his long arm over you to grab at it but was stopped when you snatched it out of his grasp. 
“Um, no.” You mumbled, his face fell and guilt wretched in your gut. “Sorry, I don’t really show people my stuff.” He seemed dumbfounded and his light laugh surprised you. 
“C’mon, Y/N. I wanna see. I promise I’ll be nice.” He pleaded, widening his bright blue eyes to seal the deal. You playfully rolled your eyes, the grip on your sketchbook tightening before you relaxed your muscles. 
“Fine, but I get to flip the pages.” You warned, pointing a stern finger in his direction. He held his hands up in defeat before joining you on the couch, planting himself just centimeters away from your side. Your breath hitched momentarily before you cleared your throat and hesitantly opened the leather-bound book. 
“This is an anatomy study I did a few months ago.” You explained, tracing your finger over the sloped lines of the drawn figure. His eyes were concentrated, scanning precisely over each line and area of shading. They also held another emotion, seemingly one of admiration and it made your heart flutter. 
You turned the page, the drawing a portrait of your good friend. His eyes widened, “Wow, this one is incredible.” He mumbled, thumbing the end of the page to draw it closer, careful not to bend or tear the image. Your grin widened and the pace of your already frantic heart quickened. 
“Thank you.” You smiled, absentmindedly flipping the page to an image you weren’t intending to show him, the nude portrait of yourself that you had been working on just minutes before. 
“Oh, shit.” You mumbled, flipping over a few pages and hoping he hadn’t noticed. But, he did.
“Woah, woah, wait. What was that one?” He asked, trying to flip back to the drawing. He looked at you with raised brows and your face somehow grew exponentially warmer. 
“It was nothing. It was the one I was working on earlier. “ You explained, trying to keep your voice calm and level. He smirked, gripping the end of the sketchbook in his hand. Your throat grew dry and you struggled to swallow the growing lump there. 
“Can I see?” He crooned, obnoxiously batting his long lashes as he did. You pursed your lips and considered the idea for a moment. The drawing was essentially one of your nudes and you’d be showing this nude to your best friend. You concluded there would be no harm in it, as long as you didn’t tell him who the figure was. You reluctantly flipped back to the designated page and held it out to him. He took the book in his hands and studied the figure with squinted eyes. Your stomach churned and the pressure in your chest tightened as he continued to scan the drawing. 
“Who is this?” He suddenly said and you tensed, your heart stopping in your chest. The figure was unfinished and had no face yet, so only you truly knew who it was. You twiddled your thumbs and tried to not fumble over your next sentence.
“Um, no one in particular.” You mumbled, not meeting his eyes. 
“Oh, please. The detail is incredible. You’re telling me this is all from memory?” He questioned, arching his brow and sending a sly smirk your way. You shifted uncomfortably, picking at the sleeves of your sweater and still not meeting his gaze.
“Um, yeah.”
“Y/N..” 
“Fine, fine. If you must know. It’s a self portrait.” 
“A…self portrait? This is you?” He seemed stunned, and his tone made it hard to determine if he surprised or disgusted.
“Yeah, it is. Is there a problem?” You asked, tone growing defensive and hands just seconds from snatching the sketchbook from his hands and vowing to never draw around the man again. 
“No, no. There’s no problem. It’s just…”
“What?” You were growing impossibly nervous, your gut clenching uncomfortably. 
“It’s really beautiful. I’m… almost speechless.” He laughed, his speech airy and hushed. Your eyes widened slightly and for a fleeting moment, you saw him shift slightly in his seat. 
“R-really?” You mentally chastised yourself for making a complete fool of yourself if front of the man you had a huge crush on. The man who was essentially studying a nude photo of yourself in front of you. 
“Yeah, I mean. Wow, it’s incredible. Beautiful and talented.” He mumbled, handing you the book and immediately placing a throw pillow in his lap when you grabbed it from him. You were stunned, did he just compliment you or the drawing? 
“Well, thank you. It means a lot.” You stuttered, giving him an appreciative grin. He nodded, watching your form intently as you put away your sketchbook and rejoined him on the couch. 
“Bet it’s even more beautiful in person.” He mumbled, probably intending for the words to go unheard but you caught them, every word. He noticed this, the way your body froze as you reached for the remote indicative of that. His heart dropped and he had to restrain himself from running through your window. 
“Sorry, that was..”
“Do you mean that?” 
His blue eyes widened, your reaction completely unexpected. You looked up at him expectantly and the way you eyed him sent he to his lower stomach. A sudden confidence bloomed in his chest and he shifted to face you fully.
“Every word.” He whispered, bringing a hand up to cup your heated face. Your breath hitched and despite yourself, you leaned into his touch. 
“You are art.” He was so close, you felt the words fan over your lips and your eyes fluttered shut in anticipation. He softly pressed his lips to your and a relived sigh escaped your nostrils. You immediately melted into his touch, bringing your hands up to card through his soft brown hair. He whimpered against your lips, his own hands now gripping your hips tightly. He pulled away, his breaths coming out in heavy pants. 
“I’ve wanted you for so long. I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long. Wanted to see that beautiful body.” He breathed, pulling your body closer, nearly into his open lap. 
“Nothing’s stopping you.” You breathed out, taking it upon yourself to climb into his lap and lace your arms behind his head. He gives you a somewhat shy but appreciative grin, and reattaches his lips to yours. He tastes exactly how you’d imagined he would. Sweet, minty from that gum he always chews, and a flavor that’s unidentifiable but him nevertheless. 
His hands are leaving a fire in their wake. Everywhere he touches set ablaze and you whimper into the heated kiss. His fingers dip below the hem of your sweater and you wordlessly pull it over your head. Gwil’s blue eyes darken and his hand immediately begin working the clasp of your bra, eyes never leaving yours. 
You let him take it off, you’d let him do anything at this point. He eyes you hungrily, bringing his lips to mouth at your chest softly, the touch pulling soft whimpers and moans from your lips.
“Even better than the drawing.” He says, words muffled against your skin and you laugh lightly. His lips then surround your left nipple, nipping at it gently and you have to bite down on your lip to cage desperate moans. The pressure in your lower tummy is unbearable now and your body involuntarily brushes against his clothes lap. His actions falters and he lets out a heavy, pained sigh. 
“Fuck, do that again.” He commands before continuing his assault on the delicate skin of your chest and breasts. You anchor your hands on his shoulders for leverage and begin to softly grind your hips against his lap, his cock hardening underneath you. Your head falls into his shoulder, the friction he’s providing satisfying the ache you’ve suffered with since the day you’d met him. He can hear your soft whimpers and moans right next to his ear and he shifts his hips uncomfortably with each sound, his jeans now unbearably tight. He sits back for a second and removes his shirt, and you gaze at him appreciatively for a moment before he brings his lips to yours. 
“Can I take these off, love?” He breathes, his prying fingers referring to your shorts. You nod wordlessly, and lift your hips to make the job easier for him. He removes both your shorts and underwear in one motion and you nearly faint when your pussy makes direct contact with his Jean clad lap. His hand settles on your hips and he gestured for you to continue your motions, his grip guiding you against him. You breathing is heavy, coming out in pants, whimpers, and the occasional moan of his name. He’s loving every moment, watching your shaking form behind hooded eyes. The way you draw your lip between your teeth occasionally, how your eyes close every time he presses your body harder against him. 
“Fuck, Gwil.” You whine, feeling the tightness in your belly grow. You stop suddenly and bring your hand to his zipper, desperately fumbling with it. He laughs and removes his jeans without issue, giving you a soft peck before drawing you closer, breasts flush against his strong chest. 
“You look so pretty like this.” He whispers, brushing fallen hair from your face. You smile, bringing your lips to his in a searing kiss. You toy with the waistband of his boxers, silently begging him to remove them. He complies, sliding them off of his long lower half slowly. Now, nothing seperates you and him and it’s almost overwhelming. 
“Do you have a condom?” You whimper, his lips working at the skin on your neck. He nods, leaning over to fish one out of his wallet and immediately returning to you. You grab it from him, quickly removing it and sliding it over his length. 
“Eager, aren’t we?” He teases and you narrow your eyes, playfully sticking your tongue out as you settle above him. He grips the base of his cock and run the head through your folds, both of you breathing out heavy moans at the sensation. He catches your gaze and you smile lazily, pressing your lips to his as he slips in. You moan against his mouth as he buries himself to the hilt within you, groaning loudly as he bottoms out. 
“Fuck, you’re tight.” He groans, his head lolling back onto the arm of the couch. You're too overwhelmed to speak, only lucid enough to grip his strong shoulders and moan. 
“Can I move, love?” He asks after a moment and you nod, eyes still shut tight.
He thrusts up into you and you fall limp into his chest as he settles on a steady pace, the head of his cock brushing against that certain spot and bringing you close to your edge faster than you had anticipated.
“Feels so good, Gwil.” You gasp, clinging onto him, his own hands gripping your hips and ass tightly. 
“You feel so amazing, sweetheart. So tight for me.” He groans, his thrusts picking up speed. You cry out, burying your head into his neck, the stubble scratching your cheek. 
“Im close, Gwil.” You whimper, walls clenching around him almost involuntarily. His grip on your hips tightens.
“Yeah, gonna cum? Cum for me, angel.” He growls, thrusting up into you with an almost brutal strength. Your orgasm suddenly rips through you, the sensation sending shockwaves throughout your entire body. Your walls clench around him violently and the way his thrusts falter indicate he’s right behind.
Fuck, sweetheart. Gonna make me cum.” He groans before stilling inside of your and releasing into the condom with a broken moan. Your mouth falls open but no sound escapes, and your body falls limply into his strong chest, the aftershocks of your orgasm still rocking you. Gwil holds you, his hands running softly up and down your back, his lips pressing soft kisses onto your temple. 
“Did so well for me, sweetheart.” He praises, smoothing down your hair, pressing kisses to your sweaty forehead. Your eyes are hooded and lazy but you manage to give him a sweet smile. 
“There’s my girl.” He coos, giving you a smilier smile. He then gingerly lifts your hips and pulls out, quickly tying off and discarding the condom after. He returns to you, pulling you against his chest, his hands resting comfortably against the small of your back. 
“My girl.” He whispers into your hair. You hear him, but it's distant, sleep washing over you quickly. He watches as you drift off peacefully, smiling widely because he knows he’s got the most beautiful work of art in the known world. 
this isn't great and it didn't really proofread it, but Im happy I finished it. now back to homework -macy:) 
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soft-baby-dobrik · 5 years
Text
unresolved // david dobrik
a/n: wow i needed some angst asap so here we go. MY FEELS BOUTTA HURT!
REQUEST: hello love! i literally was up until 2am last night reading ur fics! all amazing :) I was wondering if you’d do an imagine with David Dobrik where the two of you are dating and during the lie detector test someone asks him if he still loves liza ?? u can pick if he lies or not! but basically the answer is yes and ur really hurt?? thank u!!
summary: david takes the lie detector test and some unresolved feelings arise. **requested
masterlist
requests are open
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Falling for David was easy. There was no thought to it. No control over it. What you felt for David consumed you and when his feelings matched yours, it was the most surreal feeling. After a couple months of being together, you two were at a peak of happiness. Or that’s how you felt at least. 
Today was the day of the lie detector test. For you, there were no nerves. What could they ask you if you were even asked? Nothing that wouldn’t have been known. Your body was laid out on the couch comfortably as the equipment was being set up. David was off somewhere unknown and you curled on the couch, letting your eyes rest. Before you knew it, it was time for the actual fun. As everyone filed in, you sat up. David flopped down next to you, laying his head on your shoulder. Instinctively, your fingers ran through his hair, scratching his scalp gently.
“You’re the best,” he murmured, closing his eyes as you continued. Smiling, you pressed a kiss to his forehead. The man ran through the procedure and everyone was rotated through. There were a lot of laughs and noises made in response to answers. You laughed along to them. Then, it was your turn. Awkwardly, you pushed off the couch and came to sit in the seat. Once you were strapped in, you took a deep breath. A nod was given to signal Jason to begin.
“Is your name y/n?” Jason asked.
“Yes,” you giggled. After a couple moments the man said correct.
“How old are you?” Jason asked.
“Your/age,” you responded. Again, the man said you were telling the truth.
“How long have you and David been dating?” Jason questioned, making you laugh quietly
“A little over two months,” you responded, not sure of the exact time frame. Again, you told the truth.
“Did you ever have a crush on any of the other Vlog Squad members?” he asked, looking down at you. A small flush came over your cheeks. When you first became friends with the group, you and Todd were very close. He was who you gravitated towards. It was the tiniest crush because, he is beyond attractive. Nothing ever happened, and you never really wanted it to.
“Crush as in like silly middle school feelings?” you wanted clarification of the wording before you admitted one way or the other. Jason thought about it before nodding.
“Yes,” you blushed, feeling your heart rate increase.
“True,” the man said casually. A chorus of “ooo’s” broke out and your eyes came to look at David. His jaw had tensed a little bit. He looked irritated.
“Who?” Jason asked. Even though that was not how the lie detector worked, you answered without hesitation.
“I had a crush on Todd for like a week when I first started hanging out in the group, but I didn’t ever want anything with him,” you replied honestly. By the calm in your voice, and flush of your body, it was known you were telling the truth. Todd laughed loudly, throwing his head back as David gave a slight glare towards him.
“I can’t tell you that’s true based off the test itself, but her persona would suggest she’s being honest,” he said, with a small smile. You looked back at David with a small smile and he puckered his lips in a kiss manner. Smiling, you looked back to Jason.
“Would you let me have a threesome with you and David?” Jason asked,  playful grin at his lips.
“No!” you screamed, laughing loudly.
“True,” he said, causing Jason to be offended, in a joking way.
“Harsh!” Jason screamed, making everyone laugh.
“Jason, the fact Trisha is into you is a blessing, don’t get your hopes up,” David spoke, smiling over to you. 
“Okay, last question,” Jason chuckled. Your attention turned towards Jason once again.
“Are you in love with David?” Jason asked, causing you to stop breathing. Yes, you had completely fallen for him, but “love” was not in the vocabulary of your relationship yet. While you had known him for months before you two began to talk and then date, it was still slightly early in the relationship and it could scare him if he was not ready.
“Um-I, well,” you fumbled through your words, trying to find a response. “Kind of,” you whispered, meekly. A various amount of “AW’s” ripped through the room as you sat there.
“She’s telling the truth,” broke the silence. Sighing, your eyes fell on your hands in your lap. No part of you wanted to look at David, so as you got out of the equipment, you stood up just to have David’s body collide with yours.
“I love you,” he whispered. Cameras were rolling and you tried to hide the blush creeping up on your skin. Gulping, you looked up to see him with a wide grin on his face. Without a second thought, you pulled him towards you and let your lips press against one another, gently. His hand wrapped around your waist as you both smiled into the kiss. Once you pulled away, David was called into the hot seat. A couple of questions were asked before Jason’s face changed. He looked at David nervously before he asked:
“Do you still love Liza?” 
The words slammed you in the gut. Your mouth parted as you looked at David. His normal laughing self was tense.
“No,” David said, hard and strong. His eyes were narrowed and his jaw tightened. The silence in the air made every second feel like hours.
“Lie,” the man gulped, awkwardly. The feeling of bliss felt moments before was quickly gone as you felt like you were going to throw up. David’s eyes looked at you. After ten seconds shock wore off and your body was off the couch and running towards the bathroom. Once you were in there, you locked the door. Your legs gave out immediately as you slid to the floor. Your heart was gutted out and all you could feel was the pit in your stomach making you want to vomit. Every part of your body felt completely numb. Sitting there, by yourself, tears rolled down your cheeks. Everything outside the door was loud as people screamed, but you didn’t care enough to listen. How could he say he loved you and still love her? Easy, Liza was his first love and he would always love her. You were just his rebound. Did he love you? Probably not. All of that and more circled your mind as you left the water run form your eyes.
“y/n!” David screamed, banging on the door. “Open up, please.” You let silence respond for you. No words could come to you as you curled into a ball. “y/n, please,” he begged.
“Leave me alone,” you said, just loud enough for him to hear. 
“No, I won’t leave you alone!” he yelled. “Open the fucking door! You don’t understand!” Your body was limp and you could not move. That would take too much energy that you could not exert.  “y/n, Liza was my first love. I will always have a part of me that loves her, but that love does not come close to what I feel for you. y/n, you are mine. You are the girl I want to be with. I want you to spend the night in my bed and to go on pointless car rides with and to wake up to. I want you. You are the girl that has brought me happiness from my darkest place. Liza is someone from my past who I still care about, but that care and love is in a friend way. I care about you and love you in a different way. Now open the fucking door, please.” With a little bit of energy, you unlocked the door. The click gave David entrance. He opened the door quickly and locked eyes with your body on the floor.
“You don’t love me,” you mumbled. Tears continued to flow down your cheeks quickly. His fists clenched roughly as he looked down at you.
“Don’t tell me how I feel about you, dammit,” he seethed. Before you could say something else, he had collected your body from the floor and had you trapped between the counter top and his hips.
“But you still love her,” you whispered, feeling your legs becoming weak again. David’s fingers gripped the counter top so harshly his knuckles became white.
“If I loved her, I wouldn’t be here with you right now. I wouldn’t be holding back all the anger I’m feeling because you don’t believe me. I fucking love you, y/n,” his fingers ran through his hair harshly.
“David,” you whimpered.
“No,” he said sternly. “I am in love with you. Do not tell me how I feel about you or someone else. I am in love with you and only you.” His words were softer near the end of him talking as his eyes watered. “Fuck, y/n, why can’t you believe me?” he sighed. His hands went from gripping the counter to wrapped around your waist. Emotionally driven, his head rested on your shoulder. “I just want you, please, y/n,” he whispered, letting a couple of tears fall from his eyes. Every part of your fell into his warm embrace. Hot tears rolled down your face as you tried to hold back the sniffles. You loved him. He knew that.
“I love you,” you murmured, just loud enough for him to hear. The second those words left your lips, David’s head pulled away to look at you.
“I am so in love with you,” he groaned, letting his hand hold your waist as the other snaked up to caress your cheek. 
“Don’t leave me for her,” you whimpered, trying to stop the crying, to stop the hurt, to stop the idea of him leaving you for her. His jaw tightened as he tried to take a deep breathe.
“y/n, I’m not going to leave you, fuck,” he breathed out. His eyes opened and poured into yours before responding, “You make me the happiest I have ever been. I will never leave you,” he said, leaning down to give the most gentle kiss to your lips. His thumb rubbed your cheek trying to soothe your worry. He pulled away just enough for you to hear, “I am completely in love with you.” Everything about him was gentle now. With a deep breathe, you fell into his arms. 
“I love you,” you whispered, making a small smile form on his face.
“You made me happy at my worst, y/n. You are an angel in my eyes,” he said, holding you close. “I love you.” A small smile came over you as he pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Even if you don’t believe me now, I’ll prove it to you baby,” he whispered, wrapping you tightly in his arms.
a/n: idk if this is exactly what you want????? but like it happened so i hope you like it???
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