#just in case.. i dont want to scare anyone ig

[spidercomics]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐄 (𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆).

pairing(s): avatar!jake x f!na'vi!reader.

summary: "all the things you want to do, just relax and i'll take care of you" ─ being the olo'eyktan's oldest daughter, you rarely take time to enjoy yourself. luckily, jake knows how to make you loosen up.

contents: established relationship, talks about missing meals, kissing, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, riding, m/f ejaculation, overstimulation (kinda).

wc: 2.59k

a/n: normally i dont like the uh, "neytiris sister" shit but, here we go ig, tried not to mention her too much, felt kinda guilty 😭😭 bear with me on this one, haven't written since april. i cant believe i wrote fucking alien sex

glossary:

"yom wutsot"; eat (your) meal/food.

"rutxe"; please.

all your life, you'd strived to be perfect. you'd be constantly disappointed in yourself if you didn't exceed expectations in every task and skill you tried to master. you were also scared of failure, one of the main issues as to why you got so much stress and anxiety when stuff didn't work out as planned, or things changed last minute. it was a big problem for you, until jake came along.

jake was carefree, one; because he came from an entirely different planet, he didn't know anyone and didn't have anyone to disappoint or impress, and two; he was just a free spirit. he lived now, he did what he wanted, and he didn't look back. jake had the mindset you'd love to have.

all you ever wanted to hear was that someone was proud of you, not how you could improve, not what you could to better next time — no, you wanted to hear that you did well, make you feel like you've accomplished something, not just gotten better at it.

jake had filled that place, reminding you often how proud he is and sometimes playing extra dumb just to somehow boost your confidence. he's cocky, but he doesn't come close to the amount of skills you have, he'll admit that much.

sitting by the fire, jake didn't listen to the conversation neytiri and tsu'tey tried to involve him in. he was grateful of them trying to make him feel included, but he also felt kinda like a burden; since he restricted them from using their native tongue around him — just so he'd understand. it was nice, but unnecessary in this case when he didn't pay attention to them anyway.

he was eyeing the clusters of families and friends around the fire, but he didn't see you. you weren't there.

jake knew there was an annual feast coming up, and knowing you, it had to be perfect. you were probably working your ass of planning it somewhere, and here he was, enjoying a meal and talking to his friends.

selfish.

you heard someone walking into your tent, jake had a certain scent, and along with the way he always dragged his heavy feet around, you had heard him coming. knowing it was jake, you didn't make a move to acknowledge him.

"y/n?"

the sigh you let out before answering almost made him nervous, "ma jake."

he loved how you said his name.

"i brought you dinner."

"i have already ate." he hated how you didn't even turn around to answer him, too occupied with weaving finishing touches to decorative cloths.

"don't lie," walking up to you, jake lazily set down the bowl on a nearby surface, crouching down and resting his hands on your shoulders, "you need to take a break, you've been sitting here since morning."

"it needs to be perfect jake, the feast is tomorrow and mother keeps telling me how this is a big celebration of me completing the passage."

"everything will look perfect, don't be so harsh on yourself," jake reached over to grab the bowl of food before sitting in front of you, now in your line of sight. you didn't look up tho, not until he handed you the food and it smelled so good your insides started making an embarrassingly loud noise, "yom wutsot."

this made you look up. jake didn't use na'vi more than necessary, but whenever he did, he sure got your attention. you wanted him to speak it more, it would help him learn it better too. you grabbed the bowl, and jake let a small, smug smile grace his face in celebration.

jake let you eat without talking your ear off (as he usually would), and instead letting himself observe the beautiful patterns you've chosen to weave. he didn't understand why you were being so hard on yourself, as if the work wouldn't be appreciated no matter how it looked. maybe not by your parents to a full, but by the people. you were a role model for everyone already, you didn't have to prove yourself anymore.

watching you stand up and moving across the tent to leave the bowl, he had been on his feet not long after — reaching for your empty hands. he engulfed your smaller ones in his own, and using the grip to start swaying with you. you let out a small laugh, before leaning your head in his neck and enjoying the solid warmth he gave you. skin on skin, jake closed his eyes, feeling your hands now laying flat against his upper back, pushing him impossibly closer. one of his hands wrapped around your waist, starting to control your swaying, and the other grabbing the back of your neck, occasionally moving your hair through his fingers.

your breathing fell in rhythm with his own, feeling the slight brush of air against the nape of his neck. your heartbeat had slowed considerably, the complete warmth and comfortable hold of jake calming you down from the stressed out state he found you in. jake's heart, on the other hand, had picked up. your fingers tracing his back sent chills up his spine, in the best way possible, and he would never get enough of how easy you made him melt into a mess.

jake was sure that you could throw a dagger into his chest and his heart would still be whole, beating for you, until his death. you hadn't mated yet, and with the frequent attacks from the rda, jake wanted it over with — to connect before it was too late, wanting to feel your souls connecting like they were meant to, atleast once.

your hands traced around his torso, palms against his chest before straightening yourself, your hands around his shoulders, swaying with him. jake was holding your waist, leaving small kisses on the top of your hair, he leaned his head down to connect his forehead against yours. he felt your tail rubbing his leg slightly, a little shocked when it circled his thigh to pull him closer, forcing your lips to meet in a kiss. jakes hands dropped lower, grabbing your hips in his hold and enjoying the slight purring bouncing around your chest when he rubbed his hands on the seam of your cloth, moving his lips fiercely against your own.

jake would do anything for you to de-stress, and if this is what it took, he wouldn't complain.

one of his hands trailed lower, a simple grip on the back of your thigh. when you playfully swatted his hand with your tail he let out a deep chuckle, seperating your lips with a smirk on his lips.

"lay down for me." it wasn't a question, and you didn't think for a second before detaching yourself from jake, laying down on the rugs and blankets displayed across the tent.

jake watched how you sat up, untying your top piece and tossing it away to the side for later. you leaned down on your forearms, legs bent, feet planted against the ground. jakes ears started immediately twitching, tail swaying excitedly. it was so easy to rile him up.

jake got down on his knees, placing soft kisses along your legs, getting closer and closer to the place you desired him the most. he took his time, if it was for his own pleasure or for the sake of teasing, you didn't know. he nipped at your soft thighs, enjoy the way your mouth dropped open, soft mewls escaping when he left small hickeys on the inside of them, claiming you, even if it was somewhere he wished no one would see them except him.

his hands found themselves untying the second piece covering you, admiring the way your cunt looked so smooth, so wet. so wet, it had him twitching under his own loincloth, he couldn't wait to devour you. it wasn't the first time he'd done this, but he still felt so giddy each time, even if what you were doing was nothing close to innocent. he wanted to be the one undressing you forever, the one to worship your body, the ground you walked on.

jake traced two fingers along your core, experimentally dipping a finger inside and feeling the way you clenched at the intrusion of his finger. he kept pushing it in, coming to a hilt and listening to your small, inaudible mumbles. he pulled it out, toying with your slit as your chest heaved slightly, heartbeat racing significantly.

"ma jake, rutxe," jake pushed a finger in, pulling it out again, and redoing the same motions. his thrusts became steady, and brought you immense pleasure. his thumb traced along your cunt, landing on your clit, rubbing slow circles around it.

it was a sight for sore eyes, your wet cunt, only for him to cherish, twitching and clenching around his fingers, sucking him in for more. you had him absolutely entranced. he would stay in this position forever if he could.

"jake, please, can you just— oh," his tongue replaced his eager thumb, licking a stripe up your slit, collecting your arousal. his thrust had picked up, adding a finger, he watched your back arch up a bit, your eyes closed from the new added pressure against your already slick walls.

jake payed close attention to the soft sighs and mewls you let out, adjusting his fingers to reach even deeper. jake felt his chin covered in your essence, and he wondered if any other man had found themselves lucky enough to be in his position. a man could only dream to find themselves between your thighs like jake is, tasting every piece of you, cherishing your body with more love than his heart could withhold.

his fingers found the spot inside of you that made your hand desperately grasp at his soft hair, the shorter strands getting caught between your fingers, pushing him closer to your heat. he let out a satisfied groan, enjoying the way you pulled on his dark locks, fingers digging into his scalp.

the thrusts of his fingers were calculated and steady. a slowly increasing pace, with a force that made your body shiver, and a hand laying hard on you hip, sure to leave a purple mark in the morning. every prod and drag had a coil tightening in the pit of your stomach, a fire growing inside of you. the soft pleas and sighs, along with the wet squelch from his constant thrusts had his dick twitching. he was so hard, he started considering rubbing himself against the rug for the slightest pleasure.

the overwhelming feeling of your orgasm washed over you. the long-awaited feeling that had you absolutely seeing stars. as cliche as it was. a hand wrapped around your wrist that was in his hair, a soft kiss was placed against your palm and then you felt the man that had spent minutes between your thighs grabbing you, pulling you up and out of your hazy state to sit in his lap.

your mouth dropped open from the overwhelming feeling of his bulge against your bare sex. quickly detaching yourself, sitting up on your knees to calm yourself down before taking it any further. jakes hand rubbed against your head, fingers tracing from the top of your head down to your neck, waiting for your body to relax.

"you good?"

"mhm, felt so good jake, you're so good," jake didn't know if you would even remember this conversation, but it still left him a little flustered. your praise always had that effect on him, his ears falling flat. jake felt your hands reaching behind him to untie the cloth covering him from you, his eyes falling shut when your smaller hand touched the tip of his dick, "so pretty."

your eyes were casted downwards, your words merely a muttering to yourself. regardless of him hearing it or not, it was true, and it left his eyes falling shut from just the smallest pressure on the slit of his tip. leaning against him, you rubbed yourself on his dick, his hands had find solace on your hips, your knees constricting against his own. your head was leaning back, jake's forehead laying on top of your chest, eyes closed in pure pleasure.

his cock bumped against your clit, leaving your mouth open in silent moans, jake striving to keep doing the same movements over and over again. you wondered how something could feel so intimate and wonderful, without even connecting queues. your hands held the sides of his throat, fingers splayed across his jaw. keeping his head bent down between your breasts, a few kisses left on your soft skin.

"can i...?" you looked down at where jake was preparing to line himself up with your slick entrance, an eager nod from you left him pushing inside slowly, a groan leaving him when your tight walls sucked him in more and more, deeper and deeper, "so tight, so good for me... oh fuck— such a good girl, taking me so well."

you barely heard the last part, his voice breaking into small pants when you moved yourself up and down on him, the back of your thighs slamming down on his with every drop of your body.

"don't hold back on me baby, i wanna hear you," with his encouragement, you let yourself be a little louder, still aware of the people around the camp, outside of the tent. jake didn't seem embarrassed at all, rather proud of having you instead, glad to let as many people as possible know that he's the only one who can have you this way. you were his. with or without the bond.

beginning to set an alright pace for yourself, you let yourself relax further into his hold, feeling every shift of him against you — inside you. the way he grabbed your hips, ragged breaths fanning across your bare chest, small kisses being placed across your breasts and nipples, rough from the night air nipping away at your damp bodies.

jakes hand found its way back between your legs, his thumb rubbing slowly against your clit, bringing the pleasure to new heights. your mewls got louder, your tail wagging behind you in sharp twists, ears flat. he knew you were close, he'd seen the sweet sight before him too many times. he glanced up at your pretty face, forehead glistening from the overhead lights, sweaty from the long session of pleasures. jake hadn't even noticed his own orgasm coming, too distracted by the way your eyes closed shut, mouth open in the sweetest form of intimacy. he wanted to hold you in his arms forever.

"ma jake," your hand drifted to grab the back of his head, soft hair back between your fingers, bringing him back to the scene, the image of his dreams playing out in front of him. you were so close, desperately wanting the man who was all around you, in you, to be with you at the finishing line, "come with me jake, please, need you jake," how could he possibly resist you? resist your pleas?

"i got you, let go for me." he held you close, thumb circling your clit with more pressure as you writhed on his lap, body falling limp against him, face tucked into his neck. the way you clenched around him had him coming seconds after yourself. hand petting your hair, words of affection all around you as his other hand traced along your spine.

he couldn't wait to have you like this forever. officially.

© 2023, spidercomics - all rights reserved.

#avatar #avatar: the way of water #atwow #jake sully #jake sully x reader #jake sully smut #jake x reader #avatar smut #avatar the way of water #avatar the way of water smut #jake sully x reader smut #(➹) ─── my work.

[squid-ink-symphony]

*Insert Frye's "what ze fuck?" here*

Not to complain but like i dropped all the way down to Profresh +3 and i can 100% tell you its because of my team mates. Like i do not know what was happening last night. I was constantly getting matched with people in the basic suit with like Splatlandian Youth as their title and the default banner who were managing to get <10 eggs in the basket over the course of 3 waves. LIKE I WAS EXECUTIVE VP 150 LAST ROTATION. I SHOULD NOT BE GETTING MATCHED WITH THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE.

I use the this way signal, i lure bosses, i target high priority things like flyfish and stingers first, i make sure to look at what weapons we have each round to know what i should be prioritizing and i kill what i know my team will struggle with due to their weapons, I FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO GET THE EGGS IN THE BASKET. And yet i have a high score of 105 and im about to go down to profresh +2..... I don't know what's happening.

I can admit when im the problem. Usually i am!! But im playing so well and my team mates are just making the most brain dead choices ive ever seen..... maybe getting over my crippling anxiety and joining a discord or smth is the right move.....

Actually i think id rather die than talk to people. I dont wanna have to interact with others i just want good team mates to magically appear out of thin air :(((

And one last thing im mad about. I dont think ive gotten a special wave other than glowflies or grillers this entire time. Just give me mother ship once. ONCE. Thats all im asking for.....

Anyway if anyone wants to team up ig hit me up.... I may not be a great perfect player cuz of course i make dumb mistakes sometimes or get distracted and i may not be the best with splatlings but i am at least halfway decent and considering the people ive been playing with apparently thats pretty rare >:( Point is we can either friend each other or just make a pool or whatever. Actually u know what yeah ill go ahead and say the code for the pool will be: Symphony

I dont think its case sensitive but id put the capital S anyway. If u wanna message me on here and add me as a switch friend thats fine too of course i just figured if anyone also is scared of starting conversations this would be a way to do it. OH and make sure ur not too low of a rank, i dont mean anything rude by it i just want to make sure i can actually rank up when playing lol. Idk what u need to be if im +3 but i imagine you can find the info online.

#big run #splatoon 3 #negative #rant

[lets-a-go]

U know who I am but dont tell anyone im not ready to show the world my unhinged thought yet 😌😌😌

I wanna request FTM reader that has gone through top surgery successfully (no bottom surgery tho t-dick supremacy) that goes to a gay bar to hook up with some random man.

Then an older man (can be your OC if u like😉😉😉) targets him. This dude likes it rough tho so he doesn't approach and ask reader like a normal person😒😒😔. Instead he secretly scares all the other men who wanna approach reader away (by any means u can think of, but reader needs to be unaware of it).

Then reader gets kinda upset bc he cannot hook up with anyone and gives up and goes home. But when he passes through some alleyway someone drags him inside (a.k.a that weird older man) and 💢💢💢bumdabum💢💢💢 happens. It can be counted as semi-public s3x ig.

The Chances Of Accidentally Catching The Eye Of An Eldritch God Is Slim But Never Zero - A Oneshot

[Heyooooo ofc I can write this also I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE 🫵🏳️‍🌈 and who you are lmao. Anyway, I chose Kronos for this hope you don't mind. Also I've already asked in private if this person is okay with p in v or in this case, t in v so don't come at me 😭. Sorry it's so short I wanted to make it longer but got too excited 💀😭😭😭😭]

Reader is 18+

CWs:Implied Aftercare!!!!^^, Yandere, Obsessive/Protective/Possessive Behaviors, Dirty Talk, Mental Coercion (So Technically DubCon/NonCon), Murder (If Murder Was Erasing Someone From Existence) [NOT the reader], Semi-Public Sex, Though I Guess It's Just Public Sex Because Pocket Dimensions Of The Same Place To Prevent Anyone From Interrupting?, Tentacles, Tentacles In V, Tentacles In Ass, TENTACLES⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️, Cunninglingus, Pet Names (hun, puppy), Age Gap (This Bitch Is 1 Mil Yrs. Old), Pretty Tame compared to my other works 😭😰

Characters:FTM Reader, Kronos

You smile determined. Today is the day. You intake a deep breath before pulling at the door's handle and entering the establishment. You nervously walk up to the counter and take a seat. The bartender gives you a kind smile and walks up to you, "What can I get ya?" He has a smooth Southern accent. You fidget in your seat, "Just a water please…" You barely get out. He flashes his te- were those fangs!? No. You shake your head and when you open your eyes again the bartender is bent over and you have a nice view of his juicy ass. You gasp before blushing and quickly looking away, making eye contact with the floor. What were you thinking? No human could possibly have sharp canines. Maybe he was born with it? You knew a few people with jagged teeth that resembled them after all. Or maybe…no it was too early to be Halloween. You hear footsteps approaching and give a warm smile as he pushes a glass of cold liquid toward you. Wait…you squint your eyes. Were his eyes always blue? They were green, right? He chuckles, snapping you out of your thoughts, "What, like what you see?" He asks flexing his muscles and you decide staring at the cup would be the best course of action and sip on the refreshing drink.

You kick your feet as you open your eyes again. The man is still present as ever, smirking at you. You look away and he laughs yet again, "Awwww you're just too adorable hun…" He leans on the counter, "I could just," A dangerous glint appears in his eyes, "Eat," He moves in closer, "You," Even closer, "Up." You're flushing scarlet so wordlessly you put the drink down and walk to a quiet and secluded corner. You stare down at your hands when you see someone approach you in your peripheral vision. You glance up to see a handsome stranger. You smile, "Hello, do you think cereal is a soup?" This causes your eyebrows to furrow, "What…?" Well, that was an…interesting thing of starting things, "Is cereal a soup?" From there the two of you have a lovely conversation discussing if cereal is or isn't a soup. It's very refreshing. Unfortunately, the man has to suddenly use the bathroom for whatever reason (maybe it has to do with that mysterious beverage the bartender offered) and…wait…who were you thinking about again? You close your eyes concentrating hard but no matter how hard you think you can't seem to recall ever meeting anyone new in the last half an hour. You heave a sigh and decide to walk up to a group of men. Only to stop mildly confused. Wait, what were you doing? You stand there for more than a few moments before the room around you contorts and the people dissipate into thin air. Okay, now you're beginning to freak out. You run for the exit only to slow down as the doors disappear. What were you panicking about? You were safe. There was nothing to worry about.

With a smile, you turn around and see the same bartender from before sitting on the stool, "Hey there puppy wanna come sit on my lap?" You nod with glee and run up to him like you've known him for years. He extends his arms as an invitation for a hug and you don't miss the opportunity to jump in them. He wastes no time smashing his lips into yours, tongue hungrily exploring your mouth. You swear you can feel little tendrils. This freaks…no it doesn't you're fine silly just relax and let him make you feel good. Before you know it you're slung over his shoulders, lower half exposed, "Ready puppy?" He asks even though he already knows the answer- no-, "Yes!" You exclaim eagerly wrapping your legs around his head. He chuckles, wasting no time in plopping you down on the counter for leverage before diving in. You gasp arching your back as those tendril-like appendages are back- exploring places no pathetic human could reach- wait…you have a moment of clarity, why would you think that? You promptly forget what you were pondering as a jolt of pleasure takes you out of your thoughts, glancing down you see Kornos nibbling on your clit as he rams into your g-spot over and over again. You see stars gasping as you grab onto his hair for leverage- STOP- "M-more~...! Please~...!" In this moment of clarity, you try to buck your hips backwards only to have him delve in even deeper. Your mewls spur him on as he goes faster than most humans were capable of. As much as he wanted to fuck you into oblivion he didn't want to damage your fragile human body.

You involuntarily buck your hips into his face which he groans to, delightfully going straight to your core. When you're finally too tired he does the bucking for you. Rocking your hips into your face back and forth faster and faster until you let out a scream of pure ecstasy cumming all over his face. He smirks, groaning in pleasure as he licks up your lovely juices. You just tasted so divine~...However, he only slows down for a moment. He wanted this to be the best night of your life after all. He swirls his tentacles over and over into the same g-spot, repeating the process of rocking your hips back and forth, even long after you had gone dry, shaking and crying from the sheer amount of overstimulation he still carried on. Finally, he releases you from his ravenous mouth, you twitching and squirming to get away from his skillful tongues all the while. Oh, but he wasn't done yet. He doesn't set you down once as his clothes seemingly melt away to reveal part of his true form- multiple tentacles- he smirks as you tiredly make eye contact with him, flinching as the tip kisses the entrance to both your folds and hole. He places a chaste kiss on your forehead and without warning dives in. The pace he sets is brutal and the grip on your waist is enough to leave bruises. You gasp and moan weakly as he abuses both of your holes thoroughly, not once giving you a moment of peace.

Your eyes bug out as drool escapes from your lips, your mind going fuzzy as you involuntarily try to get away from the overstimulation. This only serves to annoy Kornos who in turn slams into you at an alarming rate. You didn't get it. He was being nice to you before but if you wanted to act bratty and ungrateful he supposed he'd just have to punish you. He goes faster than humanly possible as your moans turn into silent screams of pleasure. You attempting to pull away causes him to fully break out into his true form tentacles suckling and licking your entire body. Overstimulation would be an understatement for what you're feeling right now. But it'd be a loooonnngggg time before Kornos was satisfied. Fortunately for you, he could control whenever he came but unfortunately for you, he liked the way your cute face contorted in pure ecstasy (and a little pain) as he pounded into you- his stamina unwavering and unlike any of humankind you've encountered before-. This process continues for what feels like days and probably is. You have long since lost your voice and the ability to cum- now dry in both your throat but your pussy and ass are still very much still wet due to the constant application of tentacle dick lubricant. You've also run out of tears instead opting to look at the ceiling in defeat. You couldn't even form a single cohesive thought as both your holes were plowed. Then it happened. The "man" grunts as he somehow speeds up even more. You can't even scream. Without warning all his tentacles cum all over you exuding a mysterious ink-like substance.

His hips pump slowly before fully coming to a halt as you twitch. He pulls out, leaving you feeling empty and icky, "I think I'm gonna keep ya puppy~..." He practically purs as he cradles you to his chest. Those are the last words you hear before everything fades to black. Oh well…that could be a problem for tomorrow you.

[naleestakdrinkingteatilldeath]

TL;DR just nightly rambling

So... i've been trying to write this for the past 6 or 7 months...

Do anyone else have this... feeling of been unconfortable to share almost anything personal in a post? in any platform? I just...

I'm capable of reposting, it's... easier (for the lack of a better word), but just if i filter it, for example, i post different things in ig, in twitter and in tumblr, it's like when you put your family persona, your work persona, the friends one, and so on.

Yes, it is correlated to the fact that my family follows me on some of them, or that i only open some apps in their presence.

But even outside of that! i'm more... real, personal, here in tumblr than in my twitter where i'm followed only by 2 really close friends, but here...

Look, nobody that knows me irl follows my tumblr, i know, i checked, but even then i'm pretty scared? anxious? of posting. i've been trying to corrrect that, i've been making posts on twitter (never posted before, only rt) of certain opinions or interests i have, that many people know about, so they are kinda... safe?... But at the end of the day i'm looking at my phone at 3-5 am feeling anxious and frustrated about it, and wanna delete it, but i know that not sharing is bad and is nothing really personal and...

I've been feeling pretty bad lately, i idk where the nerve of writing this come from, but a few hours ago i felt that i had to do this and is like i dont want to but at the same time is like is i stop rn i'll never get there and have been writing and rewriting this once twice thrice and so on and i just dont know now how to stop this part cuz i feel like if i even correct it it's gonna be worse... but i barely remenber english grammatic in the moment i write cuz is my second language, but fuck, it'll be REALLY imposible to get this on spanish, cuz i'm unable to think of myself seriouly in my own language in my own head.

i mean feelings? in my mother lenguage? immposible.... imm? im? whatever if i stop now i won't get there.

So... i left this without posting about 2 or so hours ago... i needed something warm and went for some tea... and got distracted. i don't think correcting the above would do justice to the fact that i was finally CAPABLE of putting it down, but i have to add to it.

I never got to the point, it's just that it feels WRONG to share personal things to me, even in a platform where i'm not popular, no body knows me really, and i engage in another language

It's a little more... complicated that what i put down, but i lack the words to explain it clearly

Since already decided to share, should i ask people for opinion? or just let it there? it's weird to just post, even more without expecting some kind of... answer? idk, never done this before

i feel like i should know what to do in this case, i'm an adult.

#how should i tag this #ramblings #nightly thoughts #kinda #maybe just tag what i know i am? #by statistics someone should understand this if i tag like that #adhd #autistic #ace spec #asexual #biromantic #anxious #depression

[unstablemotions]

it's so hard not being able to share your suspected plurality with anyone in your life. only your therapist, who thinks that it's the case. my parents dont want to hear about this stuff and think i focus too much on it. im scared to tell my siblings. im scared to tell my friends. my best internet friend has literally said "dont let internet people make you believe you have did". bro my therapist says that im plural idk man... ngl this aint sof here rn, im masking but ig i can be open here. well im scared as shit lol im so embarrassed about "my existence" idk maybe im a delusion maybe im a part/alter/whatever name is the right one for us. but i feel like im real and sof has said that it makes sense to treat us as a system to heal and function better idk like a team. also so we dont feel so scared about whatever is happening. what does it really matter how ""real"" i am? that's just a construct idk lol i just wanna vibe man

vent because idk where to be able to express myself

#personal #my posts

[glitch-in-the-code]

yeah the matpat's theories thing is so true as well! its like when im talking to another person about my version of the fnaf storyline and they say:

mmm but didnt matpat say thats not canon OR oh but thats not actually the fnaf timeline you know that right?

my reply usually is: fuck you i do what i want /lh

the gregbot and evan is gregory theories are what gets me the most abt SB, but dont get me wrong i love the feral child energy brought to the table by gregory

with the VR thing, i'm guessing that means you're treating it like I do, like its just a really popular fangame/AU - its what i do for SB and VR basically the storyline after pizza sim... no hate to anyone who likes it tho! its just that i personally don't think it fits in my interpretation of the storyline!

-music anon (who usually talks abt music ig)

I fucking hate the ‘*insert here* is a robot!* theories so hard, it’s also part of the reason I hate the books! Not everyone is a robot!! And I hate the ‘Vanessa is Elizabeth and Gregory is CC’ theories THEY’RE SEPARATE PEOPLE!!! (I do like thinking about Michael being a ghost in SB, I think that’s fun) I would fight Matpat if the opportunity presented itself to me

I basically ignore the fact that VR retconned the previous games (excluding Pizza sim) as just…games, it feels really lazy to me? But the only time I really think about VR is when I’m thinking about Vanessa (which isn’t often as my brain is hyperfixated on Michael/The Afton family)

I love my interpretation of the timeline/story but I’m usually to scared to present it in case people are like ‘this doesn’t follow what Matpat said / this doesn’t follow canon’

Because yes it does!! Elizabeth is dead before fnaf 4!!! She isn’t there! She’s dead!!! (She’s also the middle child but I’m more ‘lenient’ about that because they don’t have canon ages)

My timeline goes: Charlie gets murdered in ‘79 then Elizabeth disappears in ‘81 followed by the bite of ‘83 and the MCI of ‘85 then the bite of ‘87

I like that it follows a two year gap for every tragedy, it sets a pattern for the company 

#sorry I get heated about fn af 4 and people who think Lizzie was alive #sorry if you’re one of those people #but she’s dead #I also have a hard time putting SL anywhere #music anon

[blessedshortcake]

Delete later

I dont know if its the holidays coming up that has me stressing again or just everything piling up in general but its that time of my existence again when i genuinely consider serious harm to get some kind of significant help or care thats more than "just stop worrying"

I cant take school. Im too burnt out and i dont have time to recharge even tho i only have school twice a week. I have no help from my family because asking them for help will either get me forced to live with an unstable household with my sister or in an unstable household with my mother. In both cases shamed and reprihended but in different ways ig so its a pick your poison moment. I cant win

I havent been to class in months. Im terrified. Im failing i dont have enough grades and none of my classmates know me so i cant ask anyone for help. Im terrified if i drop out the gov will make me pay back the child support ive been Literally living off of since i live by myself and wont be hired anywhere because i didnt graduate yet and here you wont be hired without that for like 95% of job spaces. Youre either a student working or have your diploma or you dont exist at all

I gave up hobbies that cost money ive been doing my best to eat whatevers home so i dont spend extra money ordering in but i just dont have the energy to do this anymore. I want a job. I want a job so bad i want to be done with school i cant do school we literally have ptsd from school and no support from anyone around like family or teachers. I cant apply for therapy again because theres a 6 month waitlist and by then its fucking summer (probably) and even then it takes at least a year to start getting any diagnosis and i never managed to hold down a therapist for long enough. They dont take you seriously here in their eyes we were always just lazy or a little sad or haha teenage anxiety

We cant enter a school building without bordering an anxiety attack even if its just for like an art show or any non education related reasons. We cant learn due to alter to alter amnesia (OSDD i almost never talk about it on here but yea hi system here this is Hell) because in classes we either dissociate too bad due to the panic it causes us to just Be behind a desk taking notes with people to actually remember what we wrote if we did write anything and then if you learn anything at home theres a 10% chance youre gonna be the guy at front to take the test because, again, fear.

What the hell am i meant to do when i feel like the best option here is to either blind myself so i get to be excused since id have to restart my life pretty much or try and pretend i was hit by a car on accident because i cant sign into a ward here. I cant call a crisis hotline like "yea i wanna die it sucks ass here" because my family will again either force me to live with someone mentioned above or kick me out and then what. I cant do this im not gonna do anything harsh that could end me like thats not what im saying here im just frustrated and scared and sad about how hopeless this all feels like

#tw vent #tw family #tw school #whatever i dont even know #just ignore this i needed to put it Somewhere because i csnt talk to friends i actually talk to a lot about it #i feel like im complaining and being a bitch because thats what everyone around me says. family and teachers. just suck it up #lifes gonna be hard #and it is. osdd has me on fucking survival difficulty good god #but sometimes i just wish i could get a job. everyone says they hate work but i dont even care #i need to get away from these people i need to be able to wake up in the morning and being able to breathe and not #immediately seize up with fear that oh no x amount of days until class even tho ill fucking skip it #because i dress up or even leave the house but i cant i cant do it i panic i break down and spend 40 minutes sobbing on a park bench #while people walk by with their kids or groceries avoiding looking at me #i dont even need a hug anymore man #and i dont. just ignore it really no obligatory itll be okay or whatever #if you really must know just read and then scroll #ill delete this tomorrow when i wake up anyway or when i get embarrassed in a few hours #im just so tired of being scared

[sprocketsdancetime]

decided to make a monstrosity the other day ✨

my original idea was just 'put more arms on' & by golly, i did it. i also added a tail for him while cutting his pieces. we have a whole BUNCH of fabric quarters in celestial prints, obvious choice. his back is in plaid, much like my choice to visibly stitch a lot of him, because it feels less pretentious.. he's a monster doll for fun

all his bits (besides the tail & face for some reason *shrug*) are different prints one side to the other. he's made largely of pancakes.

so when all his parts got put together i realized firstly his neck was weak & secondly he looked,,,,, plain. so i got out that left over pointe shoe ribbon (it's been a decade since i danced) & gave the dude a ruff. it took misplacing my white thread to understand i needed to hot glue this- thank god for a good thing.

shit was hard but i'm super proud of myself.

personal notes: his face piece needed to be wider & all arms & legs thicker with a bigger seam allowance for clipping/notching. his mouth button is too far down. i need better scissors. gotta take more breaks.

#tumblr deleted my original draft :) i'm screaming w my mouth closed :)) #doll making #sewing #diy toys #art doll #ooak doll #ooak stuffed animal #demon doll #clowns #just in case.. i dont want to scare anyone ig? #my art #personal

[kr1slvr]

yandere ray general headcanons

ray is an obsessive and clingy yandere

constantly thinking about you all day and night

he’s very dependent on his darling, so he always wants them to be somewhere near him 

he really just wants to indulge himself in your affections, but too scared because he thinks you’ll hate him if he does

i think he’d be more sensitive and vulnerable as a yandere bc he NEEDS and CRAVES for you even more than his normal self

if you were to reciprocate his feelings he would quite literally be the happiest man in the world

he’s extremely insecure and just overall very self-conscious, so having the person he loves actually liking him back means the world to him

he’s delusional but at the same time kind of not?

like he doesn’t really know that it’s wrong that he feels this way, but he feels guilty about just liking his darling in the first place

even just liking them like, normally and not as a yandere he feels guilty, cause he thinks the world of them, while he thinks he’s just some dude not worthy of being loved

but at the same time, he can be a bit possessive

like, he hates himself and doesn’t think he’s worthy of his darling’s love, but that doesn’t mean he’ll let anyone else have them, or even get close to them

he’s a hacker so he’d probably check all your social media and stuff like that (technically he can just access them normally, but if you have like a private account or something like that, he’d definitely hack into it)

wouldn’t go through everything on your phone, but he’d go through the messages probably (which in my case would probably not end all too well  💀)

i don’t think he’d really punish his darling, cuz he REALLY doesn’t want to hurt them or for them to be scared of him / hate him

so i think really the worst thing he’d do as a punishment is take away your phone or take away your access to the messenger ig

he’s really just one big, unstable, and adorable- mess that just craves your love and affection :)

overall on the yandere scale, i’d give him a 6/10

not dangerous to you, but can be very intimidating to other people

i really want requests for mystic messenger :’) it doesnt have to yandere, but i’d prefer if it were

i will NOT write anything even remotely nsfw, so please dont request that :)

#yandere #yandere unknown #yandere saeran #yandere ray #ray x reader #saeran x reader #yandere mystic messenger #yandere saeran x reader #yandere ray x reader #yandere mystic messenger x reader #mystic messenger x reader #mystic messenger

[aroaceconfessions]

Ive recently just came to the conclusion that i am aroace. Ive alway felt like a black sheep compared to my peers bc i could never understand the “butterflies” in their stomach. Ive never dated, liked, or kissed anyone. My “crushes” have never stemmed past aesthetic attraction.

It was hard coming to terms about it. I would cry and plead to know what was “wrong” with me. Ig you really should be careful what you wish for, because i got my answer.

It all hit me in a wave. I started putting all the pieces together, how it all connected with how ive been feeling mentally for yours. Learning this put me in the worst mindset ive ever been in.

Its crazy, its rare to hear talk about this community, but its almost nonexistent when it comes to the people who are aroace and disliked being this way.

It was like i was grieving this life i was never going to have, grieving this life that would never make me happy anyway. I never understood how i could feel SO sad about giving up this fantasy future, but not actually WANTING it.

The idea of finding my one true love and having a happily ever after was beautiful, but the reality made me sick.

The media is so saturated with reaching “the American dream” that society cant fathom someone not wanting that. As my mom says “my happiness doesn’t lie in the hands of someone, it lies somewhere else.”

To them its there norm, to me its something i dont want.

“But maybe you just haven’t found the right one.” Even IF by some means i find someone (just cause i dont know what the future lies) it shouldn’t negate my feelings NOW.

I found this book called “loveless” by alice oseman, and i related to it alot more than I thought; it made me feel like iw ant the only one.

I came out to my family and they were sooo supportive and accepting of me. It was shocking because i wasn’t accepting of myself yet. But once i did that, i felt like i was slowly purging myself. After i came out to them, it made me the happiest id ever been.

But i still have a small case of FOMO. Like how could i be SO sad about giving up this fantasy future that i truly didnt want?

I felt pathetic for feeling this way, i felt guilty and selfish KNOWING there are hundreds of people out there that are truly happy BEING this way. I wanted that too; just a taste of it.

Being aroace in a world where people are afraid of what they don’t understand, is a different type of lonely. A type of loneliness that you cant truly understand unless you are too.

I had it all figured out, down to the T. But now, i didnt know what my life would be like now. And it kind of scares me. Unfortunately i don’t know anyone else like me who can understand this feeling. I know that in due time, i will be happy with who i am. But right now, im not so sure..

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #coming out #Loveless #Alice Oseman

[miekasa]

hellooo ms mie so i was just curious to know how you chose your course for college. bc im currently in my final years of high school and im still in a dilemma on whether i want to do something which i love (which in this case is music) or do something that could give me a sustainable life with a stable financial income since its quite obvious that its not really guaranteed that u can get a well paying job when working in the music field unless you're some really renowned figure in the industry 🤒 but at the same time im also scared because i dont want my passion for music to be taken away? bc u know how the things u love can gradually turn dull over time when you're playing by the book and constantly following rules.. and its not much reassurance but a lot of famous artists nowadays have grown so much despite not studying music but then again ig its different for everyone right ? hm but then again music schools are just so expensive and i wouldnt wanna burden my parents by making them pay that much money for me to study something where a proper paying job isnt warranted yk 🙁

hhh sorry this turned into a rant 😭 its just that every time i tell myself that its gonna be okay even if i dont study music i suddenly see people on the internet who do study in music schools and it just looks so fun yk?

Hellooo my dear!! My response/advice got kinda long lol so I'll put it under the cut, but as for me, I kind of always had a general picture of what I wanted to do? Even tho I've graduated, I'm still hovering on just the right course, but I know I have time to figure it out. All decisions about and in college seem so final and stressful and it sucks, esp since you're in some of the most difficult and important (developmental) times of your life; but there's a strange kind of comfort in that too--know that college isn't final and you don't have to peak in college, so you don't have make the "perfect" choice right now, and you can always change your mind <33

Firstly, as I was saying, regardless of what you choose to do in college, you can always end up choosing another path later in life, or even right after if you feel like it's not the right fit for you! If you choose music in college and for whatever reason find that it doesn't live up to what you envisioned, then you can totally find a new route; and vice versa--if you choose something more traditionally financially stable and it just reinforces that music is the path for you, then you can 100% go into music after uni. Even tho it's chalked up to be a scary and important decision, you're, essentially 18 or 19 when you sign up for your initial major; no teenager can possibly predict what they'll want to do forever with certainty, so don't stress if you pick something and wanna switch it up later!

From the depressing capitalist perspective, I totally understanding wanting to pick something stable over something uncertain and it's such an unfair choice for anyone to have to make. However, it's plausible to do both! You can pick a major you're still interested in that you think might work better financially in the long run and for your parents' situation, and still do music as a hobby, or even a minor at some schools. Your passion doesn't have to be your career; and hobbies and personal ventures are just as valuable, as are people who do art/music full-time!

Whichever choice you make, remember that even tho it feels final for right now, it doesn't have to determine your whole life; and I wish you the best on your college journey!!!! <333

#anonymous #college is. is it important yes im not denying that BUT! it doesnt have to be THEE most important thing #i know lawyers that quit and do art full time now; i know ppl who went to julliard and are now on track for med school #truly life can take u anywhere ppol take advantage of how easily stressed and susceptible teenagers are to planning out their lives #and sell them these ideals of life and stress that its gotta start in college but you never really run out of time to do.... anything #its definitely not an easy mindset to learn--i had to go to college to realize how much things were gonna change for me #and even tho i dont think i had the My Dream College Experience im still glad i went #bc if it taught me anything its that im gonna burn down a few buildings with my two hands lmfao #shoutout to uni for making me jaded to corporate america and willing to slash the neck of any person selling me the american dream <333333

[the-bjd-community-confess]

DOA Bullshit and Bias Hubbywrangler is always in the comments foaming at the mouth whenever someone says less than positive things about DOA. Your autocratic bullshit only works on DOA; you cant control what people say online and you certainly cant ban them for having an opinion, but since you enjoy being an asshole to those who are scared of joining DOA, have felt unwelcome there or discriminated against, why not say something that really matters? The other moderators dont comment on things here, but a mod did on IG and had her ass handed back to her, why not give it a go here? Fantyfofo and MANY others got banned with no warning because they cast doll mannequins to make wigs, something that was not in the rules before banning them - no warning and not allowing them to fix their "mistake". This is unfair, specially because theres just a big red banned on their username and most assume its scamming; you know the damage that this does. when people question this, you just brush their frustration off. Youve sometimes said that these people are lying and the ban was actually not what this person is saying. Well, why not put in the reason why someone is banned? Youve already placed an obnoxious BANNED title under their name, its only fair for everyone to know why they were banned, so no one would accuse you like they have in the past for power tripping. You know the average user would see the banned title and avoid purchasing or dealing with said person - even if the ban was because they made another account, made a mannequin head or ffs, disagreed with a mod offsite. Before you say no, I know for a FACT that Aimeeeee banned a person because they had a disagreement with her on LJ, if you need names, its Hi3ru. I also know of the bullshit secret section of DOA that got hacked and leaked over a decade ago with Sal3m and JaM3 being particularly the shittiest of them all. Dont give me this non-biased bullshit when you obviously dont know how to be anything but biased. This may not be the case these days, but the secret section was there, anyone who has been in the hobby for a long time would remember it or has seen it. There is zero recast tolerance on DOA, yet Mannie admitted that she posted her recast and got suspended for it, when others did the same mistake but got banned permanently, please make it make sense. How is she not banned permanently? How is she still active in the forums when not only did she post her recast, but she admitted to it on her tumblr, and had made tutorials on how to purchase one safely? When being fair, the rules should apply to everyone; that does not mean your friends get to be exempt from it. Speaking of, how do you expect to be the "authority" on everything BJD, when even mention or linking of recasts get you banned or suspended? Do you think a newbie, or someone who has english as their second language will first assume its a fake? When a person wants a discussion - note discussion, not statement - on recasts to educate themselves to make an informed decision, is met with a suspension; how likely do you think they will get a recast out of spite for being "shunned" from the community? No sense in spending too much, "artistic integrity" when the artists and the "head" of the community is hostile towards you. This is such a missed opportunity for DOA to make something great, actually make a difference and encourage being pro-artist instead of bullying a person who is questioning it (no, those who made informed decisions on purchasing recasts can fuck off). I had my recent feedback deleted off my page because the moderators suspect the feedback is from offsite and is against the rules. Did you know, that when you get banned, there is no reply or appeal? You have to send an email which never gets replied to. The other thing; there would be an archive of dolls being sold. Clothes and accessories? Once its sold, its gone. The feedback I got was from those sales AND DOA suspended me because they suspected it was offsite sales. Putting that on the side; why limit feedback on DOA to only sales done on

DOA? IG and FB allow feedback from everywhere; as long as you have experience with that buyer and that seller, that should be the only thing that matters. Having the problem transaction thread for members only is also a decision I wont understand. Yes bad feedback can be linked to the feedback page, but how am I supposed to see and judge the feedback if there is no access to the bad feedback linked, because problem transactions are members only? People are fed up with the rules and tip toeing on DOA. Conversations have become so inane and stupid that I feel my IQ drop every time I read the debate section. The forums used to be enjoyable with actual meaningful conversations and now people only go to DOA to read the problem transaction threads, or BJD news. The discussions is nothing but people talking about their purchases, their missed purchases or purchases they hope to make. There is no conversation and you have no one to blame but yourselves because of the free use of bans, suspensions and this shitty punishment point system you threaten people with. You honestly need to get over yourselves because others see you as intimidating. Some mods are better than others, but generally speaking, you guys are power tripping assholes who are way to proud to get with the times and realize that the current way of running the forum is outdated. This is why many see DOA as an archive; talk too loud and the librarian shuts you up; only old threads have any value. Why do you think people have moved to discord, facebook and instagram? You know what would be nice? Allowing name changes. People will pay for it if you provide it, and you can always link the past usernames on their profiles like ebay. Let people change their names. Not alot will pay for extra doll profiles, and extra DOA PM space, but they will pay for name changes. If anyone else has anything to say, please sound off in the comments. H0bbitwrangler has defended DOA a lot, and they are an active mod that comments and lurks here; let them know what you think because they are trying to make DOA seem like the only ones having an issue are those who were banned "fairly".

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDCounterfeits #DoA

[harvvdent]

Fuck venting on Twitter I'm coming back to my roots warning this is very long and is about like me hating myself shitty friends etc etc

Been thinking a lot about hmm friendships romantic relationships boundaries etc and about all the times people have said no one will love me or called me ugly and all of those people being bad people seems unlikely like I don't really get why they would not be telling the truth over something like that so it must be true ... especially when the only common denominator is me then I guess it has to be true and the problem is me 😕 people always say "they're just mean because they're jealous!" Which is so untrue like I promise you my friend who has gotten literal marriage proposals and gets told by everyone that shes pretty had nothing to be jealous of saying this does absolutely nothing except telling me you dont understand the situation like I know I'm not conventionally attractive and very few people are but ig that must mean everyone has to remind me over and over again that my hair eyebrows lips nose jaw body looks so wrong and unappealing idk how I'm supposed to live when no one even wants to look at me like I dont think I'm insecure about my looks it's just the objective truth because otherwise why would people go out of their way to remind me that there are things about me they cant bear looking at

And I know its nearly impossible to talk about wanted to be in a romantic relationship without someone being like what about self love/platonic love ♥️♥️♥️ well I wont lie I also want both of these like self love has not really been a think never have health platonic relationships as I just said friends would remind me I'm ugly and I know they meant this specific guy would never love me but it's just... being 16 in that period of your life where everyone haz crushes and wants to believe they have a chance and hearing time and time again that the person you like would never ever get with "someone like you" ... it's very hard to believe anyone else might when its presented like. There is something about you that makes it so that he will never love you (in my case it was being ugly fat and mixed cause "he'd never get with a fraud he'd rather be with a real white girl") and it's like okay how can I not apply this to literally everyone ever now ... and like I have never received male attention from like boys my age so I guess everyone must be thinking that ... I know I talk about this every day since it happened but my friend calling me ugly then getting mad when she noticed my face change was honestly ... i wouldn't say traumatizing but I'll never forget when she got mad and went "dont you DARE get upset" and i had to revert back to smiling because i was scared she was gonna get mad despite her calling me a whore and ugly and I had to apologize and I definitely feel like this among other things that happened in hs have made me feel like I can never have boundaries because I'm so scared of other people's reactions because even people who are supposed to be my friends can just get aggressive and ig it's scary ...

Also I guess before hs feeling like nobody would love me was just like. A thought I had but in hs it became a reality being told over and over that any of the people I even found slightly attractive would never like me, getting rejected and straight up physically hurt by someone I like lol it's just not making me feel like I'm ever gonna get a shot at love and it definitely stems from what my friends would repeat to me like both that I'm a fraud because if anyone ever liked me and they found out I'm mixed they'll be disgusted that I'm not a real white girl (I'm white passing ish btw if this wasnt clear I forgot to mention) and other shit that I'm not white enough to be cute etc etc like I already felt terrible about my appearance because I was already made to feel like my weight made me undesirable to so many people and maybe it was a reality check from them to make me realize that yeah people are also going to care about my race like maybe I was just too silly to realize that this was something people were gonna take into account ... but that's if anyone ever goes as far as trying to talk to me which. Has not happened and might as well never happen

The only two friends I have irl are like lol just go talk to people you find cute!! And idk if it's something people do normally due to the fact that well. I wasn't socialized much or well for that matter but I could literally never do that because I would be way too scared of anyone finding out I'm attracted to them because imo it would just disgust them? Like I could never just go up to someone like heyy because we're at that age where people are flirting and all that and they would assume I'm hitting on them and to me I guess that would repulse them to have someone like me showing interest in them ... nowadays I dont even look at people I find attractive anymore I just glance at them and I'm like ah what's the point? When they're either a bigot or someone I can be friends with who's inevitably gonna be grossed out that I find them cute?

And honestly people don't find anything about me worth a second glance either like I know I look terrible so it's whatever

I know I'm young blah blah "a lot of people your age have never been in couple and that's okay!!" But that's not what I'm saying like I'm fine being idk 25 years old and having never been in couple but it's just ... everything and everyone reminding me that it's meaningless for me to ever pursue someone romantically and fuck it even trying to make friends ... I dont even know why my hs friends ever were friends with me ig I took care of them listened to them ... I would sit with one of them every day for sometimes 3 hours where she would tell me her problems her life plans i would take pictures of her after school and I dont think she ever asked me how I was doing ... maybe I'm just alive to take care of other people and ignore my feelings like I try so hard not to feel because no one really cares about it so what

#mathilde talks #please interact if read ♥️ like or reply

[normal-thoughts-official]

i'm not trans but i want to write trans magnus, what are ig the dos and don'ts? (only if you dont mind <3)

i don't mind! happy to reply to those. altho i'll be real, there's a lot of stuff, so it's a bit hard, which is why i'd say that my first tip is to have a sensitivity reader (even better if it's multiple). i even offer to do that, more trans magnus content is what i want! so i'd tell you to consider that

i'm going to make a list, but i ask you that first of all, you try to understand the reasons why i'm saying what i'm saying (i'm trying to outline them as clearly as possible) instead of just taking it as a checklist of what you're supposed to write or not. the most important thing is that you understand why certain things are/can be harmful, and approach them accordingly. there is rarely ever going to be a rule like "EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU DO THIS THAT'S TRANSPHOBIC". it depends a lot on the story and how you do it

(sidenote: of course there are things that ARE always transphobic, like using men in dresses as the butt of a joke. but that's not the case for most things, and I hope this kind of very obviously transphobic trope is already understood to not be a good thing doiajdsoija)

other than that, i think the first things that come to mind are the following (i'll try to have more do's than don't's cuz i feel like giving you a path to follow is more helpful than paths NOT to):

DO research about transphobic tropes in media and make sure you understand why they are harmful. that's a great way to avoid the most glaringly obvious Bad Takes™

DO try to understand your character's identity as much as you can. are they a trans man/woman? are they nonbinary? if they are nonbinary, what do they identify with? you don't have to have a fully fleshed out identity, but at least know whether they lean more towards neutral, fluid, multiple gendered, outside of the gender binary, etc. if you want a culturally specific gender, KNOW WHICH ONE. have details. and do your research on that. i don't recommend doing that if you don't know exactly what you're talking about

DO try to incorporate the character being trans into your understanding of their backstory. did they have help from their community? what was that like? how did that influence other parts of their story? when did they realize and when did they come out? being trans is going to have an impact on a person's story, so the more you know about that, the more you can build a character that feels real, not a cis person with "trans" slapped on their forehead

however, DON'T have their entire backstory and life be about them being trans. that's not how it works with anyone. you want to understand how being trans intersects with their life, not reduce everything about them to being trans. your goal here should be to incorporate the aspects that are related to that person being trans and the ones that are not into one thing that feels cohesive, because that how it works

DO wait until it's pertinent to mention the fact that your character is trans. it's kind of *sigh* when the fic starts like "Magnus Bane (who is trans) was buying groceries". that feels like what i just mentioned in the last don't: everything revolves around him being trans. you don't want that. if it only comes up halfway through the fic, then it only comes up halfway through the fic. i actually think that's kinda rad because it really normalizes a character being trans, but it all depends on what the rest of the story is like

DO approach their transness like any other element in the story. if it's a light-hearted story, you don't have to approach their transness from an angsty perspective. that doesn't even necessarily mean u can't approach transphobia as a topic, but it's just weird when the whole fic is happy and upbeat and then suddenly there's an on-screen transphobic microaggression and the person is very sad, and then back to upbeat. if you really want to broach this topic on your light-hearted fic, you can do it in ways such as "*flops down on the couch* god, i'm exhausted. some asshat tried to pick up a fight with me today" you know? again, i'm not saying "don't talk about X or Y subject", you just don't want the tone to be completely different from the rest of your story. it feels not only like his transness is out of place (which alienates the reader) but also like just... bad writing, i guess you don't have to take that as an absolute rule, just... as with anything else you're writing, make sure that it fits the story you're telling. if it's gonna have a different tone when u mention something, know why and how you want to do it

DON'T feel obligated to approach every aspect of their identity/backstory/everything they face as a trans person. it's good that you, the author, know it, so you can even know what is or isn't important to mention. but you don't have to give the reader a whole exposé on his transness. approach what's relevant

DO include them making jokes, puns about being trans, having other trans friends, etc. it just feels more real and we do all that all the time. it's just unrealistic for a trans person to hear the word "transparent" and not crack a joke (with people they feel safe with, of course)

when you do mention them being trans, please DON'T treat it like a big deal. when the whole narrative stops so you can mention that a character is trans, it just feels like their transness is a spectacle for a cis reader. similarly, if the reader can tell that their reaction is supposed to be like "*gasp!*" it just feels like trans people aren't supposed to be seen as normal. i'm talking specifically about how the narrative treats it here, not necessarily what happens in the story. you could have a scene where the character comes out, for example, and then of course this is going to be a big deal for them. but there's that, and then there is "magnus bane put on his binder. that's right, hE IS TRANS!". a trope i wouldn't call harmful but that i particularly hate and turns me immediatelly off any story, particularly, is the thing where the character is like "I put on my binder, getting ready for school. I am trans, and anyone who has a problem with it can fight me". no one thinks about how they are trans every time they do anything that's related to their transition. that'd be exhausting. you don't brush your teeth and are like "that's right. MY TEETH NEED CLEANING! i want to avoid caries, because i am human and that might happen"

DO try to think of every element of how they express their transness in relation to that character. you don't have to outline the reasons in the story (that'd be exhausting) but don't just go "well, magnus is trans, therefore he wears a binder and a packer, wants surgery, and [list of Transmasculine Traits™]". WOULD magnus want a binder? WOULD he want a packer? remember that those things are all choices, not a checklist that determine whether or not you're trans. each trans person is an individual, and thus each trans person's relationship with their transness and how they express it is different. so treat your character as such

DON'T make him being trans something that is only used for sad things!!!!!! again, i'm not saying "you can't approach transphobia", but if him being trans only comes up when it's to bring Bad Things His Way, it just feels like being trans = bad for you. know what i mean? try to mention it in neutral or positive ways more than you do in negative ways. a few things that i think are positive: you get to choose your own name, you get to rethink every bit of how you want to express yourself instead of just following a script, you get a lot of friends who Get It, you have the jokes about all the guys named Skylar, the flag is cute, transitioning feels so good! every new thing is a discovery. coming out as trans and transitioning is very liberating, it feels like you are so much more real. sex feels a lot less like a scripted ordeal when you have a completely different relationship with your body, i feel like trans ppl naturally communicate a lot more about sex and explore a lot more of different ways to touch their bodies even when they don't necessarily have genital dysphoria. the puns and jokes are also a nice bonus. the slang is so fucking funny. you learn a lot about your body and hormones and the such just from having friends who hormonize and looked up every detail. as for neutral things, just being like "magnus put on his binder" is a neutral thing. it's just a part of his life! when you only remember that a character is trans because they are going through violence, it just makes people scared of being trans

and i guess those are the most important pointers? just, don't make trans identity a whump thing and remember that not every trans person is the same, build that character just like you do any other. if anyone wants to add more stuff, feel free to! i have a tendency to forget to mention or explain certain things (like "don't make trans ppl the butt of a joke") because to me they are obvious and i forget that they aren't obvious outside of trans circles. i have very few cis friends (that's something that makes a difference too) so ya know. diajsda

another tip i think can be helpful is, if you're uncertain whether or not something sounds natural, try to imagine that instead of talking about a trans character, you're talking about a person who wants to be a mechanic. when you're building a character who wants to be a mechanic, that can be part of a super angsty backstory about how they lost their parents in a car crash due to a car malfuction... or not. it can have relevance to a certain point of the story, or not. it can fit naturally into this part, or it can feel like you just really want the reader to know that the person wants to be a mechanic. it can be integral to the plot, or it can be just another thing about that character. you know? that sounds kinda lame, but i think it's a good way to try to think about what you're writing without all the pre-conceptions and pressure not to Fuck Up Your Representation. idk, something to try out and consider whether or not works for you

if you have any questions, let me know! and ask other trans ppl about their perspectives too, i'm just one person. if you want a sensitivity reader, i'd really be super happy to help :) just DM me, or whatever you feel more comfortable with

#ask #anonymous #societal issues #idk how to tag this lol #sh #trans magnus bane #long post