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nerdy-talks · 5 months

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Warning : This post is going to be a very personal rage dump/rant.

There are heavy topics involved, including cancer and death. Also explicit language.

Out of consideration and respect to those of you who would prefer not to read it (since I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to), I will continue under the cut

Also pictures of my dogs, to break up the doom and gloom ^^"

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I absolutely despise, loathe, hate toxic people.

Especially when those toxic people are the “wolf in sheep’s clothing” type.

Especially when those people don’t have the fucking balls to confront others directly and just choose to slink about behind the scenes like scummy little vermin.

So… my uncle Joe passed away a few days ago.

It was expected. He had been battling pancreatic cancer, which ended up spreading into his liver and lungs.

With that being said, even though he will be dearly missed, at least he no longer has to suffer.

I was close with my uncle.

In fact, it’s no exaggeration to say that I was much closer to him than I was with my own father (my Dad was a permanent presence in my life up until the day he died, but we had an extremely tumultuous, dysfunctional, volatile, abusive relationship.)

We visited my uncle Joe regularly ever since I was a baby, all the way up until somewhat recently. He spent countless hours at our place throughout the years. He was super close with my parents, doing tons of outdoorsy activities with them. I spent a good amount of my childhood with his family. When his wife passed away, my parents helped him and supported him. He helped us move twice. My Mom took his kids places when she was just dating my Dad. When my Dad passed away, my uncle Joe was there for me without me even having to ask.

Literally everything was good between us, and always has been.

It’s also thanks to my uncle Joe that we gained a new furry member of our family last year, who we named Dandy 💙 my uncle’s dog had puppies, he asked how many we wanted, so we took one lol

(I’ll include a few poor quality pictures because… well, I should probably break up this message with a little “positivity”, right?)

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This was Dandy when he was still just a baby, 4 weeks and 3 days old.

Look at the cute little potato 🥹

We visited my uncle Joe every week to see him grow and develop, anxiously waiting until he was old enough to bring home.

And this was the day he finally joined our family ~

Look at how tiny he was compared to my one Black Lab (sorry for the terrible quality picture. Our carpets are old, but I swear they don't look that dingy ^^")

And here's Dandy today, one year and five months later ~

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Anyway! Back to my rage-fueled rant :

My uncle Joe met someone about a year and a half ago, and she moved in with him pretty quickly.

Which certainly wasn't a bad thing. We were genuinely happy for him.

She seemed very nice, sweet, accepting, kind, receptive, and welcoming.

But for whatever reason, the dynamic changed the moment my uncle fell ill and the control landed in her hands.

Since my uncle Joe was sick, we all mutually decided that it would be best if communication was between my Mom/me and her (we would text her to check in to see how he was doing, as well as find out if/when it was a good time for us to visit)

This is where some inconsistencies started to appear.

For example :

She would tell us not to visit because my uncle was too sick (which was totally understandable!), but then would tell us a few days later how he was doing great and had fishing trips planned all week.

I 100% believed her at the time.

After all, everyone has both good and bad days.

But then when we would visit, my uncle Joe told us how he couldn’t fish anymore because the chemo was causing neuropathy in his hands, and he couldn’t hold his fishing pole or cast/reel the line in.

Though we just assumed he discovered those issues after she told us about those supposed fishing trips.

But the true eye-opener happened during our one visit. My uncle Joe welcomed us into his home, we talked, found out some updates about his health (which was declining), etc. He was open/transparent with us about everything.

When my uncle went to the bathroom during that visit, his girlfriend made the comment “I probably should have told you guys not to come here, since he’s in a lot of pain today.”

Knowing my uncle, I didn’t budge from my seat. I knew that if he wasn’t up for company, he wouldn't hesitate to tell us to leave.

And I’m glad we didn’t leave… because literally 10 minutes later, her granddaughter came waltzing in to visit her.

My uncle came out of the bathroom, sat on the sofa doubled over in pain as he was talking to me and my Mom (at this time, we asked him directly if we should leave, since we knew he was dealing with a lot and we didn't want to overstay our welcome. He told us not to leave, that we could stay because he felt like shit regardless).

But as he was sitting there, clearly in pain, his girlfriend and her granddaughter asked him to get up and carve a watermelon for them instead of doing it themselves.

What sense does that make?

'I should have told you guys to stay away, but I’m gonna make him strain himself and carve a watermelon for us even though he’s already suffering and struggling enough'

…. Okay. Fuck you too.

We obviously didn’t say anything. We just visited for a little while longer, then left with a friendly/cordial “goodbye, nice to see you again” to her and her granddaughter, told my uncle that we would be thinking about him and see him again, and wished them a good day.

Two and a half months passed before we heard from them again.

Why? Because she refused to answer our numerous calls and texts.

She deliberately ignored us, which actively prevented us from having an opportunity to see my uncle.

And she knew damn well that we wouldn’t just show up at my uncle’s house unannounced because we didn’t want to disturb him if he wasn’t feeling up for company.

We only got in contact with him again after he directly called our phone and left a message saying “hey, just checking in. I hope you’re both doing okay, since I haven’t heard from either of you in a while. Stop by when you can”.

So we went to his house.

When we explained the situation to my uncle Joe/passive aggressively confronted his girlfriend, her excuse was “oh, sorry. The reception here is bad so my phone was probably just acting up.”

For two and a half months?

Even though she was literally using her phone in front of us, which appeared to be working perfectly fine?

Even though she’s always on her phone every time we see her?

Even though she could have reached out to us, yet chose not to? Not even once in two and a half months??

I call bullshit.

My Mom even told her that she was on the verge of sending a text that said “okay, cunt.” since we thought she was ignoring us after not responding to our multiple texts/calls.

We all laughed it off as a joke, Joe's girlfriend even said “hahaha, I probably would have laughed if I got a text like that!” … but it most certainly was not a joke.

(My Mom is extremely outspoken and normally doesn’t hold back, especially when it counts. She’s the type of person you either love or hate, but she’s definitely one of a kind and the perfect example of a strong, independent woman who gives zero fucks lol)

Anyway, that visit went well. We behaved like usual, talked to both my uncle and his girlfriend normally, caught up on stuff, etc.

After that interaction, his girlfriend miraculously responded to every single call and text (bad reception, huh? Funny how she had zero service issues after we called her out in front of my uncle)

But basically every time we talked with her, she would say “it’s not a good time to come by, he’s really sick.”

And we would always respond with things like “we totally understand”, “thank you so much for letting us know”, “we wish there was something we could do to help”, “we’re here for you if you ever need anything or anyone to talk to since we know this also isn’t easy for you”, “we’ll check in next weekend”, “please take care of yourself”, “we’ll be thinking about you”, etc.

Then finally, my uncle Joe told us to stop up again two weeks ago. So we did.

He was extremely sick and remained in bed, but we said hello and he told us that we are more than welcome there and we could just visit with his girlfriend. So we did. The visit remained cordial and friendly.

The next day, my uncle called and apologized for not getting up when we were there.

We immediately told him that he has absolutely no reason to be sorry, that we completely and wholeheartedly understand, that we would understand even if he told us to leave the moment we arrived, and that we were keeping him in our thoughts.

The week after that, his girlfriend said he was too sick for company (which again, we obviously understood and thanked her for letting us know, wished them the best, etc).

We didn’t visit my uncle Joe after that. He passed away before we had another opportunity to see him.

Now, here’s where my anger starts to come into play :

His girlfriend didn’t let us know when he passed away.

We found out from my other uncle, Mike, two days later. (My Dad had 3 brothers. His eldest brother is my uncle Joe who just passed away. His youngest brother is my uncle Mike who let us know what happened.)

So my Mom called her and offered her condolences, asked how she was doing, told her that we’re here for her, and asked about the arrangements. My Mom also told her that Mike was the one who let us know about Joe.

She made the comment “there’s going to be a small ceremony, but only for immediate family.”

Which didn’t make sense to me or my Mom. We were both very close with my uncle Joe, we are family. So that comment seemed a bit… off?

But we dismissed it and instead talked to my uncle Mike.

We asked him to please keep us updated, since we wanted to pay our respects to my uncle Joe and our family.

Well… I don’t know what the Hell that lady said to my cousin (Joe’s son), but he told my uncle Mike not to tell us anything else.

That snake in the grass obviously ran back and told my cousin that we found out about Joe’s passing from Mike.

But uhh... We deserved to know.

Now, we literally just found out this morning that the ceremony was held yesterday. We weren't invited (the day/time wasn't publicly announced).

We were excluded. We were denied the opportunity to say our final goodbye.

I blame his girlfriend. Completely and entirely.

I especially find it super interesting that she didn’t attend the ceremony either… almost like she was afraid that we might possibly show up and confront her (which we would never do, purely out of respect for my uncle Joe)

When my uncle Mike told us, he apologized. But we told him that we don’t blame him, since we certainly didn’t want to put him in the middle of it.

It just pisses me the fuck off.

Bad enough she actively prevented us from seeing my uncle Joe, even on his “good” days. But then to keep us away from the ceremony too?

And she HAD to have fed my cousin a bunch of lies and bullshit to cause him to tell my uncle Mike not to inform us of anything. (Luckily for us, my uncle Mike loves to talk so he didn’t mind spilling the tea. He just felt guilty for not doing so sooner. But I understand why he waited, and I hold zero animosity towards him)

It’s especially confusing and upsetting since we always remained on good terms with all of my cousins.

We saw my cousins regularly, got along well with them, joked around with them.

Literally nothing that we did or didn’t do would warrant such a reaction from them.

If there was any fault on our end, I certainly wouldn’t be angry about this situation or waste my time typing this up. (I'm not the type of person who plays the victim, I admit when I'm wrong and own up to my faults/wrongdoings. That just isn't the case here.)

So it’s seriously a mystery to me… which is why I blame my uncle Joe’s girlfriend.

Absolutely nothing changed in the decades of knowing my uncle and his kids. Literally the only recent change was her coming into the picture.

(I also want blame my cousin, since he’s older than me and has a mind of his own… but I also know that he’s grieving the loss of his father, so I feel like that bitch took advantage of the situation to say whatever she wanted about us while my cousin is vulnerable and not thinking clearly/properly).

Regardless of the finer details…. I am absolutely livid.

It’s like a giant “fuck you” to us, like we aren’t good enough, like our feelings don’t matter.

And that pisses me off beyond belief.

I’m debating whether or not I should confront her.

On one hand, I probably should just let it go and move on.

But on the other hand… I want to play dumb, call her, and be like “How are you doing? Do you know when the ceremony is?“ just to see what she says.

And then tell her to go fuck herself.

Is that immature of me? Sure.

But I’m angry. Annoyed. Irritated. Fuming. My rage is boiling, my wrath is building. And I feel like exploding.

Needless to say… my Mom was right. That lady is a cunt. A toxic, festering, diabolical, oozing, gaping, pungent cunt.

If you’ve read up to this point, I genuinely apologize for dumping all of this off here.

I just needed to vent a bit.

I also owe everyone who has tagged me a HUGE thank you. You have all given me a much needed distraction from everything, plus I genuinely love being tagged.

So I will absolutely start posting/replying to those a little later (I've already started on them and have them saved in my drafts, I just want to finish them all and post everything at once lol)

#I might delete this later #I find comfort in the idea that Satan would be proud of my wrath/anger right now lol #all joking aside....#I have so much to say to her yet she's not worth the time or energy #I'm over the two-faced high school bullshit #maybe she likes drama but I don't #just another reason for me to hate people #it might be sad to say but....#... Tumblr is the only place where I can count on interacting with genuinely nice people #I just feel bad for being so damn dismissive/absent lately #I promise I'll make it up to you all #and thank you for being so patient with me 💙#nerdy talks #nerdy vents #nerdy rages #?#I am angry #personal #rest in peace uncle joe 💙

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sickgraymeat · 11 months

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let's watch the heck out of this pumpkin patch

#adventure time #princess bubblegum #bonnibel bubblegum #marceline the vampire queen #marceline abadeer #neddy bubblegum #bubbline #uncle gumbald #aunt lolly #cousin chicle #mine #so bad and quality sorry #how many times have i hyperfocused on smth abt bonnie insomnia late at night #self fulfilling prophecy lol #sleepypost #hypervigilance #I like the idea that marcy doesn’t strictly need to sleep but it’s a nice reset and she enjoys it and it helps break up the infinity lol #so she does anywya which is baffling to Bonnie lol #like I feel like she does get sleepy but just Resting would have the same effect #but like unless she’s playing music she can’t really Rest bc she’s y’know chaotic adhd having vampire who could be doing silly shit instead #so being unconscious helps lol #and sometimes playing music means getting frustrated when she messes up and also sometimes getting too deep w lyrics and needing a break

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alsoyooraiyah · 5 months

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but what if dola landed in his care at a way younger age

#i think she’d be happier actually #been thinking about this lately >.> no idea how she’d end up in his care instead of like #someone in mond / taken in by crepus trying to do his late besties a solid #but like. maybe it somehow happens and wrio probs gets a bunch of old wounds reopened in the process and all #and then like just the struggle of #uncle wrio getting a kid who grew up living as a noble and not really knowing what to do #its fun to think about!

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xmcu-fietro · 2 years

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please be Peter Maximoff please be Peter Maximoff please be Peter Maximoff—

#*sigh* here we go again fellas #I feel like every few months there’s something like this where the fandom gets excited only to be let down but I guess we’ll see *shrugs*#I just don’t want to wait two more years 🙃 but that’s better than no Peter #also late 2024 means he’s not in coven of chaos DANGIT #peter maximoff #quicksilver #xmen #ralph wandavision #ralph bohner #fietro #uncle p

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wildflowercryptid · 8 months

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⚠️ spoilers for year 5 fireworks festival cutscene below! ⚠️

the year 5 firework festival focusing on takakura being considered apart of your family is kicking my ass, especially since i got the anniversary event the day before. the way this game handles the farmer's family is so freaking sweet and impactful, i love it so much... 😭💕

#was takakura this involved w/ your family in the original game?#bc if not adding that in was such a good decision i love uncle takakura more than anything #i feel like there's some slight hesitance from takakura when it comes to the role he plays in your family #bc he's clearly a surrogate father figure to the farmer / grandfather to your kid but he probably wouldn't feel right about ->#being considered your dad or your kid's grandfather purely out of respect and his clear love for the farmer's late father #he wouldn't want to overstep ya know? (he isn't obviously he's just stepping up)#i've already talked about this a few times in tags but yea i just get really emotional thinking about takakura #i'm gonna have to add the post-event dialogue w/ a reblog it wouldn't let me post all of them #then. it's nap time #story of seasons #bokujou monogatari #a wonderful life #sos awl #gustafa (awl)#takakura (awl)#chara : bea lantos-beckenbauer #oc : tris beckenbauer #🕹 : gamer time #mj.txt #awl spoilers

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thedawningofthehour · 8 months

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Okay. I am all fed, Angel is placated for the time being, and I have my noise-cancelling headphones on to drown out the sound of the 24/7 news cycle my mother keeps on constantly. I'm sitting down to write out Tigerclaw's Tragic Backstory. Not all of it, because there is stuff I'm going to have him reveal in the story and stuff I want him to be mysterious about, but whatever we'll get to that. Uh, all the warnings.

(bean wait to read this until you're clocked in)

Ah shit, where do I even start? So our Tigerclaw was born somewhere between 1810 to 1830 in a rural mountain community in China. I know 2012 Tiger Claw was Japanese, but I do believe I explained why I decided to change that when he was introduced. (in short-tigers aren't native to Japan, and while it made sense in the lore of the show it bothered me immensely as a stylistic choice) I've researched and cobbled together information kind of sporadically over the chapters and I keep terrible notes, but I think this is generally where I've been assuming he grew up:

I know this area is technically in Sichuan when Tigerclaw said he's from Chongqing and I'd like to clarify-the last Yokai holdout in China was in Chongqing. He went there before the last of them emigrated to the Hidden City. And I may be misunderstanding this-forgive me this is an area of history and geography I didn't know much about going in and I'm still learning-but it looks like Chongqing and Sichuan were combined at the time? Chongqing wasn't its own province until 1997. Also they were still under the Qing dynasty and China didn't really exist as we know it today. I'm not sure what labels Tigerclaw would have used at the time, and I'm also keeping in mind that he was young and from a community that had a pretty small worldview. They fished and farmed, considering the region they probably primarily raised livestock. So Cass's assumption that they were uneducated in not far off. (if someone knows more about this specific region feel free to chime in, but that's what I've gathered so far) He probably didn't grow up hearing the names of his province or kingdom, just 'our village' and 'name of river we fish from' and 'name of town we go with Dad to trade stuff in.'

I don't have anything concrete for his backstory preceding his kidnapping. Kind of just an average upbringing for someone in that region. His community wasn't thriving or rich, but they got along decent enough. He probably lived in a multi-generational home, with his father's parents and potentially great-grandparents and aunts and uncles. He has at least one sister, who I described as being younger than him, (though I've been thinking about flipping that because I kind of like the idea of Alopex being a protective older sister) but considering the time period and culture they likely had many siblings and cousins. I generally consider them to have been older siblings, if not the eldest. Their abduction wasn't the big event that Donnie's was. Tigerclaw and Alopex went exploring outside town one day, as they probably did a lot, and their family just never found any trace of them again.

So Songpo. Again, I had absolutely no intention of Taishi Songpo ever being like...fleshed out. He was literally just a name thrown in to make the world seem a little deeper. His name is even a fucking joke-Taishi was a civilian title during the Zhou dynasty, and the title for a Mongolian lord at the lowest rung of the latter. So...a baron. I don't even fucking remember what Songpo was supposed to mean, when I look it up now all I get is adverts for brands titled SongPo.

But anyway. This bitch. Was also an alchemist with delusions of grandeur, but unlike Draxum he actually wanted to use his creations to rule. I have no idea what his end goal was-rule over the Yokai population in that specific region? Take over the humans as well and crown himself emperor of China? He probably didn't quite think 'world domination'-but it was a much bigger world back then.

A meme to break things up.

So this guy kidnapped like. A lot of kids. Mostly from various rural communities around the countryside. His methodology was a bit different from Draxum's-he'd keep and work with the kids for a few years before mutating them, partly because the mutation process is extremely dangerous to young (especially pre-pubescent) people as it's hard to predict how the whole 'growing' thing is going to go, but also to learn their talents and tailor each mutation to take advantage their natural strengths. Tigerclaw wasn't a tiger by chance-Songpo specifically chose to make him one because he thought that would best suit his skillset.

But apart from the whole 'raise children to be my loyal warriors' thing, Songpo was very far from Draxum. He was extremely cruel, and used a combination of physical abuse and non-hypnotic brainwashing to bind his servants to him. By the time one of his kids was mutated, they were terrified and in awe of him.

Tigerclaw was his favorite, but that was more of a curse than a gift. He was subject to stricter training and punished far more harshly than the others, and Songpo kept him close. He was constantly tested and interrogated for signs of weakness or disloyalty, and beaten when he fell short. After a while Songpo's paranoia grew to the point where Tigerclaw was rarely allowed out of his sight, forced to sleep in his master's bed with him, and was barely allowed to talk to anyone besides Songpo-not the other mutants or kids, not even his sister. There was probably a sexual abuse element there, but we won't get into that part. Songpo saw Tigerclaw as the pinnacle of his work and his exclusive possession. And in turn, Songpo was Tigerclaw's entire life.

I got the brainworms for this from the kind of plot hole that is 2012 Tiger Claw trying to resurrect Shredder in season 5. A lot of people have floated that question-because, yeah, it doesn't make sense. Tigerclaw is a mercenary. His loyalty to Shredder is dependent on his paycheck not bouncing. No disgrace in that, that was the agreement between them. He doesn't seem to particularly like his job-he hates Karai and dislikes the other henchmen-aside from Bradford, who he tolerates. He didn't even like the Shredder. He disagreed with him over practically everything and showed that he was willing to go against him, such as when Shredder prioritized killing Splinter over stopping the literal end of the world.

Like bro this was not a good look for you.

And I'm not excusing that plot point here. That was a dumb storyline. This might be a controversial opinion here but I think 2012 had shit writing and was riddled with inconsistencies. I still love it, I love it for its characterizations and its plotlines, but how they executed it all was...not great.

But I kind of dug where my brain went trying to craft a narrative that might explain that. Someone who was trained to follow, to obey, to maybe question orders for the sake of learning and improving but will follow them regardless. Someone who was molded into a slave, had every bit of the human he was ripped out of him, and when his master was dead and he was free he could no longer remember how to be a person, much less his own. He's been conditioned to be obedient, merciless, and to throw himself on a spike to serve his owner. And he is far too proud to admit that.

So he sells himself as a mercenary, unconsciously searching for someone worth his loyalty and obedience. Because that's what's comfortable for him. He doesn't feel truly at peace unless he's serving.

That takes us to Draxum. I won't get into exactly why he chose to join up with Draxum in the first place, but at the beginning he thought Draxum was just another Songpo and figured Galois must be his own Tigerclaw. Maybe lacking a few of the more horrific details, but a master and his masterpiece all the same.

And make no mistake, Tigerclaw is not weeping for his lost childhood. He enjoys his longevity, his abilities, and he's fine having traded his humanity for that. But he's also aware that that's him talking. He recognizes that Songpo was insane, that what he was doing was despicable and that no kid should have to go through what he did. It turned out okay for him. That didn't make it okay.

When he meets Cass and Gale, he expects them to be child soldiers. Broken, obedient things that Draxum plans on enforcing his will with. But that's not what he finds. They're kids. Maybe kids with too much on their shoulders, but kids with a father who tries to keep their loads light. Kids who do dumb shit for the lulz and tease the people they're supposed to be subservient to.

And Draxum himself, while he's weird and dramatic and possessive over his son in his own way, still cares for them in a way Songpo never cared about anyone. He pushes them to eat well and get enough sleep not for any effect it has on the work the do for him, but because he cares that they're healthy. He's mindful of their mental health and constantly builds them up because he honestly thinks the world of them. He encourages independence and personal growth because he wants his kids to develop into well-rounded adults, and it legitimately pains him that he can't allow them their freedom.

In Galois and to an extent Cass, Tigerclaw sees the person he could have been, the person he should have been allowed to be. He sees all the children he watched suffer at the hands of Taishi Songpo, the children he watched die, and thinks of how wrong it all was. And maybe Draxum isn't right, but he's right in all the ways Songpo was wrong. Galois is his father's masterwork, his right hand and most valuable asset-and he is his son before any of that. He is a teenager. A child. And so is Cass.

So yeah. Tigerclaw isn't mourning his own loss. But if anyone tries to hurt those kids, tries to force them to do any of the things he was forced to do, does anything to prevent them from having the happy lives they fully and completely deserve-Tigerclaw will carve out their lungs with his bare hands.

#i feel like i'm forgetting something but this is already 2k words #it's late and i promised bean #tigerclaw #good ol' uncle stripes #doth ramblings #it's a tag now i just decided

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puzzlekinq · 26 days

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cant sleep because im seething with anger

#been laying here for like 40 minutes fantasizing about finally snapping and telling my mom everything i really think and feel #if i ever came out to her she would end up cutting me off like she did to my aunts and uncles and cousins #basically im alone and my parents and siblings are the only family i can be in contact with right now and its isolating #off topic but yeah #i miss having a big family and people besides my parents that i could rely on. people i felt like i could actually breathe around #idk. whatever #why do i feel responsible for her actions all the time. its been my job to keep her stable and listen to her vent for years #but i never say anything about my own feelings. because she would make me feel stupid and ridicule me. lol #all she does is make me feel like shit most of the time. shes always in a bad mood and shes always whining and always pessimistic #and yeah i get along with her for the most part but lately her attitude has been weighing on me a lot. i cant criticize or disagree with her #because she'll just get mad. shes always been an angry person. thats why i hardly spoke to her from ages 10-15 #maybe i jsut wanted to give her another chance. maybe i felt sympathy for her. shes had it rough her whole life #but when shes still bitter no matter how many times i comfort her and let her vent and cry to me and when she chooses her husband over me #every single time he fucks up (which is like. constantly) and always takes his side when they inevitably make up after a huge fight #it feels like i'll never be able to make her happy. it feels like i should stop trying. if she wants to be full of hatred #and have a shitty husband then fine. i cant fix her like and i cant hold the weight of her mistakes #*life

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borom1r · 1 month

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I'll be honest, I don't know much abt lotr, but!!! for the text game you're putting together, what has been your favourite date and/or route you've written so far? + as an addition, if you'd like, what are things you admire/love abt any character of your choosing? (I hope you're doing okay bestie, I'm sorry you're having a rough night 💖)

haugh thank you dude i am. feeling more grounded now (and my hand stopped hurting so i Didn't actually burn it, yayyy) but gods that was bad for a hot minute

ummmm my favorite thing ive written is probs tied between Éomer's 2B date (go to a celebratory bonfire w/ him) because there's a lot of silliness, it's just very lighthearted + cute!! or Faramir's first date?? it's actually hard to pick a specific date bc Faramir is just very fun to write. I adore him so much lol — his first date's a little library meetcute and you get to give him a kiss on the nose and listen to him be So autistic about Really Old Texts (it's what he deserves)

uuuuuuuuuuu well u know as a Boromir Guy. a certified Boromir Enjoyer. Enjoyer of Boromir. there's just. oagh theres so much. I was rewatching th Osgiliath scene again for reasons (quotin it for sth i think) and the way he behaves with Faramir vs how he behaves with Denethor is so. im DERANGED i need to sit down w/ Sean Bean and talk abt Boromir for fucking hours. the way he prepares himself to have to speak w/ his father, the disbelieving shake of his head at Denethor's "I know his uses and they are few" line about Faramir. the "one more moment of peace can he not give us that" line. "the victory is Faramir's as well" and he's grinning, his nod of encouragement, motioning Faramir over because he's RIGHT and Faramir's achievements deserve to be recognized and they're fighting fucking FORCES OF MORDOR so how could he possibly blame his brother for Osgiliath falling? they reclaimed it and they're alive and that's cause for celebration! im so.

Boromir son of Denethor seeing the best in people. when he could so easily and so understandably be completely fucking pessimistic. He is ON THE FRONTLINES he would have every excuse to be a bitter jaded asshole having grown up with the sole purpose of being a soldier. he lives only to serve!!! and he lives watching the people he is supposed to safeguard suffering and dying, watching the darkness of Mordor spread with little hope of vanquishing it, only keeping it at bay for a time. it has been long since he had any hope!!!!!! and yet the victory is Faramir's too! his baby brother who he is so proud of, who he sees the absolute best in, who he longs for Denethor to see the good in too because Faramir is trying his absolute fucking best and Boromir sees that!! Boromir, who sees Merry and Pippin's determination and takes the time to coach them in swordplay when others would have made them stay behind. they're only hobbits, after all. what could they do? (quite a lot, naturally, but it was Boromir at first who empowered them to be more than just tagalongs. who thought they should be more prepared and took the time and energy to make sure they were.)

there is frailty in men but there is goodness too. the world is cruel and awful and he is surrounded by violence and death. and even a wizard like Gandalf can die. but there is goodness in men. goodness in the world!! Minas Tirith is on the brink of disaster but it is beautiful and he longs to return. even diminished, she is beautiful!! and he wants to share that. he wants to share Faramir's victories. he knows firsthand how horrifically cruel the world can be but he sees the best in the people around him and he wants others to see it too. ARGH!!!!!!!!

ALSO. ive talked abt it in another post floating around somewhere but while i do love book!Faramir i think he is. kind of a nightmare person. in that he has some Deepset Prejudices that he Needs To Unpack. smacking the shit out of him with a cardboard tube.

and while i thnk there are valid criticisms to make abt movie!Faramir i do actually GENUINELY adore that he is tempted by the ring. because on one side of it, his temptation mirrors Boromir's in that it is done out of love (desire for his father's love and approval vs Boromir's love for his people) and that he overcomes it. because that is Boromir's Baby Brother and isnt the goal of it all for the younger generations to surpass the older? isn't the hope that Faramir would learn from Boromir's failures and be better? not repeat them? and he doesn't. he is flawed and he is tempted by much the same thing and yet he does not fall!! and that's not to say there's any Legitimate moral failing on either of their parts because its the fucking One Ring, but i think its just. very poignant. I genuinely prefer it way more than the book where hes all "I would NEVER take the ring!!!"

but he also has his whole "boromir died well, achieving some good, and was even more beautiful in death than in life" thing and that gets into the spirituality of middle earth and the layers of Weirdness there which im not abt to unpack on this ask. not a fan of it in the slightest. shaking Boromir's hand for being rebellious against god tho i would be too if i was living in that whole fucking sitch. if the only thing my brother could say was "idfk if he fucked up or not but he was more beautiful in death than ever so ik he died a holy death, which is preferrable" my ghost would start throwing bricks.

also, having movie!Faramir fall prey to the ring when book!Faramir is like this. paragon of grace and goodness and holiness who Cannot be tempted. idk i think especially with Aragorn grappling with his humanity and frailty as a man, having Faramir Also be tempted is sooooo. like. augh!!! it is not a failure to be tempted. you can still be Good and Gracious and Lordly and a Paragon Of Men. he is Still Faramir even though he fell prey to the call of the ring. he resisted. he let Frodo go, putting his own life at risk in the process, because he is still a Good Man even though he is flawed. even though he almost didn't. movie!Faramir my beloved!!!!!!!

LASTLY ik ive talked abt this a couple times but it is fucking DERANGED to me that Éomer is only twenty-eight in TA 3019. HE SHOULD'VE BEEN IN THE TAVEEEEEERRRNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#kept doing dishes after and it hurttttttt so the whole time i was like 'shit i hope i didnt Actually burn it'#still kinda tender but Not Burnt #im insane abt Éomer he lost his parents he lost his cousin/adoptive brother he lost his uncle/adoptive father. he gets EXILED and is forced #to leave his sister with a man he knows only has ill intent for her. who has been corrupting his uncle's mind.#AND HES ONLY FUCKING TWENTY EIGHT????????????????#Éowyn shouldve been at the club too dgmw like she is not exempt from this im just a faggot and Éomer is hot so uh. yknow #like faramir was in his mid 30s and boromir was in his early 40s. theodred was the same age as boromir #and aragorn's in his LATE EIGHTIES.#Éomer King. the fucking BABY of the group

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