#just live your life to the fullest you could fucking die tomorrow

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

Why are you trying so hard to count calories? Wtf even is a calorie? Do u even know? Can u even comprehend it? Just eat the damn cookie already

#☀️ shitposts #just live your life to the fullest you could fucking die tomorrow

[contentloadingandstuff]

I love the anal headcanons for Inazuma girls😊😊😊 I was hoping you could make one for the Liyue girls

Anal Headcanons - Liyue Girls Edition!

A/N: Hi anon! I'm glad you like them, and I hope you like these as well. Enjoy!

CW: Male!Reader, anal, bondage, femdom, spanking, mentioned pegging.

Picture not mine. I don't remember where I found it.

Cut... nsfw below.

Anal with Yelan? How bold of you to ask. Pussy or ass, it's not your choice to make - not with those tied hands of yours. You're not fucking Yelan - she is fucking you. She goes for whatever floats her boat at the moment, and anal is often on the menu. She's very keen on this type of play, bouncing on you and moaning beautifully like there's no tomorrow. Make sure to keep up, as if you can't please her ass, she'll have to use a dildo instead. But she's very indecisive…So how about she tries that cock on you first? 

Shenhe is quite sexually curious, so it didn't take her long to ask you for anal. It's… different from vaginal, she found. A good kind of different. It hurts a little, sure, but it gives her a whole new range of pleasures to explore. Shenhe likes to have plenty of prep before the thing, so anal with her is going to be announced days before the act. When the date arrives, you'll find her with a plug inside her and plenty of lube at hand, already spreading for you. She hopes you'll like it - because she certainly will! 

Ningguang likes variety in bed. It helps against her main enemy - boredom. She finds anal adds that delicious edge that vaginal just doesn't have. Fucking that hole adds an exciting hint of pain to your play, but her favorite part is the stretching. The feeling of her tight little sphincter being forced apart to fit your massive cock oh so slowly, as well as clenching and feeling just how wonderfully full she is, has no parallels in her books. 

Beidou honestly prefers her cunt. Life on the ship is not easy, and getting the necessary prep before anal is hard and time consuming. She often forgets to buy condoms or lube, so you won't get anal often. But you'll still have a chance to enjoy her this way when you're at Liyue Harbor. When she does it, it's certainly loud and intense - just the way she likes it. One thing though - give her a hand when she's drunk, would you? Her aim is poor when she's had too much to drink… 

Yanfei signed a contract to live her life to the fullest, so of course she’s going to use every hole she has. Well, in theory at least. In practise, it turned out to be more difficult to enjoy anal for her. Even with a lot of prep and lube, the feeling of her sphincter being forced open is not very enjoyable. She’s a little bitter about that, but it’s not the end of the world, right?

Poor baby can barely take two fingers and just sliding your dick inside can make her cum, and you ask for something so intense of Ganyu? She'll agree, of course, but it will end up a misfire. She'll find that your cock is far too big for her little donut, and it hurts quite badly. Don't worry, though! Ganyu is very into the idea of training her butt to please you. Diligent as ever, she'll buy lots of toys and arrange weekly sessions for you to slowly ease her into anal. Give her a month or two and she'll discover just what immense pleasure you can bring her through her tight backside. 

Being a die-hard masochist, Keqing loves having her ass used more than her pussy. It hurts so amazingly! Especially when she's tied up, with nowhere to run from the intense fucking she's subjected to. She likes anal with a side dish of hard spanking and little to no prep beforehand. Actually, she can't tell what she likes more - having her asshole destroyed, or the soreness that comes afterwards, legs trembling and unable to sit down. She's very vocal during anal - a constant barrage of 'It hurts! Please stop!' and 'Don't stop!' flows out of her mouth. Don't worry about her, and pay no attention to everything she's screaming out. This girl knows her limits, and will say the safe word when things get too intense. 

Anal isn't very fun for Yun Jin. She has a hard time making space for you, and the pain in her butthole lingers for a few days, making dancing unpleasant. And even if those weren't problems, she still would prefer her pussy - or even better - her mouth to be used by you. She can't help but think that hole is especially nasty and full of germs. It still feels weird to let you use it despite her deep cleaning it and using a condom. Don't worry, though. She'll make it up to you with her pretty little mouth. 

Hu Tao has one rule for sex - whatever one of you does to the other, they must be okay with it happening to themselves. So if you wanna do anal, you have to be okay with getting her strap inside you at some point. But don't worry - it's her that will suggest it at some point. Hu Tao just enjoys sex, with a special emphasis on anal. Why would she deny herself then? For a girl of her posture, she handles your cock like a good girl. She even gags herself when she can't help but scream from how intense the intrusion inside her is. Fucking her ass is also a good method of taming her raging libido, thanks to how intense it feels. Use it wisely!

Thanks for reading!

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x male reader #genshin x male reader #hu tao #hu tao smut #hu tao x reader #hu tao x male reader #yelan smut #yelan #yelan x reader #yelan x male reader #beidou #beidou smut #beidou x reader #beidou x male reader #ningguang #ningguang x reader #ningguang x male reader #ningguang smut #keqing #keqing smut #keqing x reader #keqing x male reader #ganyu smut #ganyu x reader

[mymarifae]

just pulled this card (it breaks my heart btw :( miku ..) which means i got a better look at the corresponding costume and i want to talk about something

two things here stand out to me: the clock and the flowers. the significance of the clock is like, obvious. i mean, insert the usual drivel about the passage of time. it’s important to live every moment to the fullest so you have no regrets when the moment inevitably ends, but just the fact that you know it will come to an end can make enjoying it difficult. everything from a day out with friends to the entirety of your high school years - you know it will end and your life will take on a new shape and that’s fucking scary. the presence of a clock only serves to remind you that time is running out, better squeeze every last bit of happiness out of this before everything changes forever, if you die tomorrow will you be satisfied with the life you have lived? no? ...

as far as the flowers go, i have been looking at flowers for the past several hours, and my conclusion is...... i don’t fucking know. the best i’ve got is they could be balloon flowers, azaleas, or maybe forget-me-nots. balloon flowers are associated with friendship! as well as endless love, loyalty, honesty, and specifically the desire for an old friend to re-enter your life. this last meaning intrigues me, but moving on: azaleas usually symbolize things along the lines of (developing, still fragile) passion and taking care of yourself and your loved ones. they are also associated with new beginnings and feelings of homesickness. the symbolism for forget-me-nots is in the name: don’t forget me. they’re all about remembrance. true love is another meaning, and they can be used to symbolize a connection between two (or more) people that endures the passage of time and every challenge life throws their way.

i’m 71% sure those are just some generic flowers and perhaps trying to pinpoint what they are to pull out some symbolism is a fruitless endeavor, but let’s all just have fun forever, yeah? <3 and even if they aren’t actual flowers put on this costume design with purpose and intent, we can consider the choice of making them blue (beyond just matching miku’s hair). blue is the color of commitment, wisdom, trust, serenity... and it is also the color of struggling to move on from the past, of resisting change, of sadness and grief.

now that we have confirmation that the kids will not be frozen in time forever and will actually be graduating from their current grades come next anniversary, we know we’re in for a pretty big storm. things are going to change, and it’s going to be especially messy for wonderlands x showtime and nightcord at 25:00 and probably MORE MORE JUMP! - just because they’re the groups whose members are not all in the same year. the characters are going to grow up a little more and become a little more in tune with their own unique feelings and dreams. they can’t stay the way they are now forever, and that’s scary, but it’s also fine, isn’t it? behind every ending is a new beginning.

and here miku is, serving as the embodiment for all of that. that being the changes the future will bring, the inevitable endings the kids will have to face together, the struggle to accept that these goodbyes are necessary and that even if hurts, they’re taking the first steps towards something even better and even brighter. i think that’s pretty damn clever, considering her existence is tied to all their feelings.

but, you know. how does she feel about it? how does she feel about watching her friends grow up in a way that she’ll never be able to? how does she feel about... inevitably being left behind?

(hint: look at the card again.)

... lots to think about! something i’ve always wondered about the direction of this game is if new characters and new groups and new SEKAIs will ever be introduced, and now i’m beginning to wonder if colorful palette intends to take an approach similar to what love live has done over the years? we’ll watch these five groups grow up and move on. one or two of them might disband by the time they graduate high school, and others (namely leo/need and vivid BAD SQUAD) will stick together and keep their lives centered around music. i’m not sure what this will mean for their respective SEKAIs, and i will keep my theories to myself for the time being. i’m writing the Future of SEKAI (thank you. i love you. goodbye.) series for a reason. BUT once these five groups graduate, i wonder... are we going to be introduced to entirely new characters with entirely new SEKAIs? and the 20 kids we’ve come to know and love might pop up here and there, as family friends or celebrities that the new characters look up to and will eventually meet by chance or... whatever. like, stepping into roles similar to the one iori plays in leo/need's story. (side note: i bring up iori specifically because totally think she and the rest of STANDOUT had/have their own SEKAI. do you see how the cycle perpetuates itself?) because that is certainly one way to keep your gacha money machine going indefinitely that doesn't stretch your characters thin and keeps things fresh and exciting for your audience.

who really knows, though :)

#project sekai #miku hatsune #colorful stage #prsk #overall i think i am pretty excited about the future of this game :) #the problem with like... say. cookie run. is it doesn't know how to let stories come to an end because if they end no more money :( #but THIS way it's like. the characters aren't stretched to the point of tearing and falling apart. they get an ending #letting your stories END is so so so so important. you have to bid your characters farewell eventually and let them sail off on their own #i think about the ending to the golem and the jinni by helene wecker a lot #the golem and the jinni's stories are far from over. but the last page is where you say goodbye to them and step out of their world #you can't overstay your welcome!! as an audience member OR an author. leave them to their lives... you know?

[onigiri-dorkk]

Chapter 56 moment Levi (+Mikasa) Analysis

The first time you hear these words from Levi, it just goes over your head/he just seems like a hardened soldier who doesn’t stop to think about loss. But then you realize… shit… Levi thinks about every single loss, EVERY SINGLE DAY. He goes into every day assuming the people around him won’t make it or won’t be there the next day.

He just dismisses his traumatic way of viewing his life as “Well, I just think like this because I’m not normal and have seen shit. Moving on now...” But??? Like??? Can we stop to think about that? Like how tragic it is to view his daily life like that. Think about how dark and heavy that nonstop mindset would be for Levi.

This is coming from a man who, just the next day/soon after, indeed loses even more of his squad traumatically AGAIN — the soldiers who were standing literally next to him during this speech, exactly like he says. (His pained face illustrated as Kenny shoots their heads was brutal ;-; Poor Levi…)

Once again… Levi has only ever known loss and suffering and outliving people he grows even REMOTELY close to. And always in tragic ways. He deserves to be stone hearted. And yet he reveals every time that he feels deeply — SO deeply. Isayama always says Levi is the most emotional character and it makes sense.

And we see this even in more dialogue of Dimo to his son — he trusts Levi wholeheartedly and calls Levi a good guy, softhearted, despite being awkward and clumsy.

And then you have Mikasa who reaffirms this. She acknowledges the same thing that Dimo does — that Levi is awkward and maybe imperfect in his own way, BUT he is trustworthy and dependable, and his judgment deserves to be followed without question.

She also uses and mirrors Levi’s usual words of asking others to make a choice. Mikasa could just tell them “Levi is right. We need to follow him.” Instead, she says Levi’s orders are the best option, and asks Connie, Sasha and Jean to MAKE A CHOICE to follow and trust him.

In the end, Levi says he will do anything and everything for even some of humanity to see another day. He doesn’t care if that makes him a bad guy in people’s eyes. Again, his wording is awkward and intense, but all he is saying is that he values protecting others and values the idea of tomorrow — he holds onto hope in his own way.

Now we get into Rivamika. If fast forward Levi were to fall in love with Mikasa or anyone for that matter, I can see this mindset easily playing into that love. He wouldn’t care what he has to do and how that reflects on him if it means he can 1) protect who he loves, and 2) have hope of his loved ones seeing tomorrow. He would go ANY lengths for himself seeing tomorrow; what more someone he loves?

He lives daily thinking the people around him won’t last. He only knows that HE himself will outlive everyone because he’s the strongest. Then there’s Mikasa who rolls in and so happens to be the only person he can rely on not dying because she’s strong as fuck. And he calls upon her all the time. And she’s become his right hand woman.

Like she’s probably the only person he could possibly see living forward. And Mikasa sees him the same way. And now they both have their FULLEST trust in each other to 1) live, and 2) help each other to see tomorrow.

So much that even when everyone was STILL doubting Levi when he ordered them to kill the enemies, Mikasa was the only one who instantly said yes to him.

(In the end, as much confidence as he has in Mikasa, I know his inner demons will always chew at him and convince him that she would tragically die like everyone else in his life.)

Anyway! UGH!!! Levi is just so freaking complex and wonderful and sad and tragic but I’m only realizing how hopeful of a human he secretly is. He says a lot of things but there’s always a layer of care beneath the words.

I’ve been having a lot of fun writing a lot of my ff in his perspective because of things like this. I LOVE LEVI holy shit

#rivamika #Ch 54 #onigirianalyzes

[daddyjackfrost]

i accidentally deleted your request anon😭 but i managed to take a pic before! so, here it is!

prompt 36: “fuck you scared me... don’t you do that ever again!”

prompt 37: “are you afraid to die?”

warnings: angst, talk about death, kinda grim, self indulgent (just a bit! y/n’s thought process) car accident, loss of memory, crying osamu

osamu miya x gn!reader (intended lower case)

in the comfort of the darkness, you sat on your sweater on a hill that overlooked your neighbourhood.

after a long day of school and work, you managed to squeeze some time of solitude for your thoughts.

with your knees pulled to your chest and your chin resting on your crossed arms, you inhaled the sweet scent of freedom.

out here, away from the busy streets and tall buildings, you were free. out here, with only the trees and stars to keep you company, you were content with life.

you heard rustling behind you and shut your eyes, inhaling a long breath before you heard a familiar voice quietly call out to you.

“here,” you whispered.

you didn’t turn, nor did you look up. osamu laid a jacket beside you before sitting down next to you. his arm brushing against yours.

“how’d you know it was me?”

you smiled. it was the same question he asked you every time he received a text from you and met you up on your hill. and every time, you gave him the same answer.

“just a hunch.”

osamu drifted his eyes away from your face to the stars. there wasn’t much of a difference, he thought. the stars were just as captivating as you, you more so. you were just as fascinating as the stars, shining brightly in solitude and the dark.

without making any unnecessary noises, osamu leaned back on his hands, kicking his legs out in front of him.

he needed this break just as much as you did.

in the silence of the night, you and osamu sat together, letting the stress and sorrows of the previous week slip away.

simultaneously, you both leaned back, your heads resting on the soft fresh grass.

you gently shut your eyes, reminiscing in the quiet atmosphere. no one was here to bother you. there were no looming assignments or demeaning parents.

out here, it was just you and the stars.

and osamu.

“are ya afraid to die?”

your eyes flew open, and you turned your head, grass tickling your cheek.

osamu’s dark grey eyes twinkled as he stared into your eyes. you thought about his question. obscure thoughts tangled with apparent ones.

you turned your head, facing the dark sky.

“not really.”

osamu hummed. “why not?”

you lifted your hand, spreading your fingers so each nail connect with a stare.

“because it’s inevitable.”

osamu raised his eyebrow. shifting to his side to face you completely. “care to expand?”

“i’m not afraid to die because the second you’re welcomed into this world, you’re introduced to the concept of death. you know you’re going to die. so you live while you can.”

osamu’s eyes were set on you. you always sounded so old—mature—when you talked like this. like you knew things he couldn’t understand.

fate he couldn’t fathom.

“i’m not afraid to die because i’ve been preparing for it my whole life.”

you turned your head to meet osamu’s curious eyes.

“that’s a bit depressing,” osamu laughs.

you grin at him, your lips pulling into a breathtaking smile. “it is.”

after a few silent moments, you whispered,

“memento mori.”

“what?”

you pretended to squish the stars in between your thumb and index finger like grapes.

“it’s a latin phrase that originated from ancient rome.”

“what does it mean?”

osamu loved your knowledge of random things. he knew an abundance of phrases from different origins because of you.

“remember that you will die.”

“god, y/n,” osamu sighed. “you’re so grim.”

you smiled. “what? it keeps me grounded.” osamu let out a light chuckle.

“no matter what i do, how much money i make, who i marry, i’m not going to live forever. i won’t go down in history unless i do something monumental. i’ll live, i’ll aim for a good life, and then, inevitably, i’ll die. it helps remind me that stress and sadness does eventually come to and end.”

you licked your lips. “are you afraid to die?”

osamu shrugged. “yeah. i am.”

you shifted your weight to your side so you were completely facing him. with your arm bent under your head, you rested your head on your elbow.

“how come?”

osamu shifted his eyes to the ground before meeting yours again.

“i guess i’m afraid of not living my life to the fullest. i wanna be happy. do things that’ll make me smile. i wanna die knowing i lived the best i could.”

you gently smiled at him. “what’s stopping you?”

silence.

osamu stared at you like he didn’t know how to comprehend your question.

what was stopping him?

he was young, talented, and persistent.

a heavy realization fell upon osamu. there was nothing stopping him. he was stopping him.

the only person who stood between his happiness, was himself.

with a goofy smile, osamu turned to face the stars.

“nothing. nothing at all.”

you smiled at him, happy he understood. you gently pushed yourself up, letting out a small yawn. you stretched your arms, sighing when you heard your shoulders quietly crack.

“time to go home.”

osamu let out a whine. “do we have too?”

you stood up, brushing your jeans with your hands. you grabbed your sweater, slipping it on.

“yes, ‘samu.” you narrowed your eyes at his frown. “we have school tomorrow.”

osamu rolled his eyes, but got up anyways. he grabbed his jacket, throwing it over his shoulder.

“let’s go home then.”

you both walked down the hill and into the street, bickering and laughing.

your heart felt so full. this is what you were afraid of losing. this laughter and feeling of content. you weren’t afraid of dying, you were afraid of loosing the feeling of your heart being full forever.

so when you pushed osamu out of the way, and a car came blazing towards you, you didn’t have a moment to think about what was going to happen.

only that you really liked laughing and would miss it.

before the pain took over, you remembered hearing osamu’s loud and panicked voice yell your name. the last thing you saw were his tear-filled grey eyes.

***

the smell of antiseptic, stainless steel, and blood filled your senses and your eyes flew open.

as quickly as you opened your eyes, you squeezed them shut. the bright lights of the hospital room too strong for your weak eyes.

the machines around you buzzed and you groaned. pain had enveloped you completely and you licked your dry lips.

your head was pounding and your memory was hazy. you pulled yourself up, wincing in pain when the iv in your arm moved with you.

you gently opened your eyes, blinking to get used to the bright white light.

your eyes swept across the large hospital room and your frowned.

how did i get here?

your eyes fell on a mop of grey hair and you blinked a few times to clear your vision. your eyes took in the male sitting by your bed, his eyes closed and his lips pulled into a frown.

you tried putting a name to the far familiar face, but you came up empty, and at that thought, you started spluttering, trying to form words.

at the sound of your hoarse breath, the grey-haired man’s eyes flew open and locked on you.

your eyes were locked on the rheumy and heavy-lidded eyes, the taste of familiarity on your tongue but unidentifiable.

“y/n...”

the voice you had heard in your dreams whispered a name you knew was yours.

you licked your cracks lips. “water.”

immediately, the trance the man was in has broken and he sprang up, grabbing a water bottle and handing it to you. you hesitatingly grabbed it, staring at the lid before gently twisting it.

the man stared at you, his eyes burning holes into you. you kept your gaze on your bed, afraid of the pain you felt when you looked at him.

he quickly left the room, yelling an unfamiliar name loudly.

you drank half of the water bottle before twisting the cap back on. you leaned back, wincing. you gingerly brought your hand to your forehead, gasping at the feeling of bandage.

a tall, thin and pale man with light brown hair and round glasses walked into the room. he wore a long white coat and was holding a clipboard. the same man with grey hair and a women of much shorter height with tear-stained cheeks walked in behind him.

the man, whom you assumed was a doctor, walked up to you, keeping a distance. he smiled at you before motioning to the chair beside you.

you nodded, unable to use your words.

“y/n, i’m doctor kim.” he waited before you met his eyes. “do you know where you are?”

you stared at him. he waited patiently until you gently nodded. “the hospital.”

doctor kim smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“that’s right. can you tell me your full name?”

you stared at him, your eyebrows furrowed. you tried remembering, but your head began to hurt profoundly. it was like there was a wall that separated you from your memories.

“it’s okay,” doctor kim whispered. “you must feel disoriented.”

you didn’t nod, just fought the wall. you knew that you had a last name. it was right there, but unaccessible.

after a few painfully silent moments later, you let out a heavy sigh.

“l/n. y/n l/n.”

doctor kim smiled and the women in the corner of the room let out a sob, her hand coming to cover her mouth.

you stared at the women, a wave of familiarity hit you and you frowned. you knew her. so why couldn’t you remember?

“y/n,” you turned your head to face the calm eyes of the doctor. “you were in an accident.”

your frown deepened. “i don’t... remember.”

doctor kim nodded, his eyes glancing at the clipboard before he smiled a faux smile at you.

“you hit your head really hard. it’ll take you a few days to regain all your memories. you remember your name, that’s great process. over the week, your memories should all come back to you.”

you nodded. an accident? why didn’t you remember? and why was the man with grey hair staring at you like that?

doctor kim checked the machines before making his way to the door. he smiled at you and then looked at the women.

“ms. l/n, can you come with me to fill out a few pages?���

your breath hitched. your eyes were locked on familiar ones and you quietly whispered, “mom?”

your mother painfully smiled at you before running out the door behind the doctor. you watched her go with a frowned.

you turned your head to the man who stood in the corner. his posture was rigid and you were sure he hadn’t blinked since he walked in the room. his gaze unwavering.

you shifted your eyes from his, his gaze too intense.

“can i... can i sit?”

you nodded. his voice was intensely familiar. it was the voice you heard in your dreams. the one you had grew attached too.

osamu sat on the chair with hesitation. he was feeling so many things at once. you had been in a week long coma, and osamu hadn’t had a moment of rest since he sat with you in the ambulance.

osamu let out a heavy sigh, bringing his hands to cover his face. you watched him from the corner of your vision. he felt so familiar, so why couldn’t you recall his name?

osamu began to cry, his shoulders shaking.

you turned your head to face him, your lips set into a permanent frown. for some reason unknown to you, your heart hurt at the sight of his tears.

“fuck, y/n,” osamu lifted his head. his eyes brimmed with red. “you scared me.”

you stared at him, unsure of what to do. you didn’t know why you had scared him. but his shoulders shook and his lips trembled, so you stayed quiet.

“don’t you— don’t you do that ever again!”

you just silently watched as the grey-haired man cried and yelled at you. “don’t you ever push me away! don’t you ever try and save me again!”

the room was heavy with silence. the grey haired man sobbed into his hands and the machines buzzed in your head.

you don’t know what compelled you to say this, but you did anyways. it felt right. like the man crying in front of you deserved to hear these words.

“i won’t. i’m sorry.”

at the sound of your voice, his crying grew quieter and after a few moments, he wiped his tears, his bloodshot eyes staring at you.

“promise me.”

you saw the whirlpool of emotions in his grey eyes and although you couldn’t decipher them, you promised anyways.

when he smiled, his cheeks using muscles it hadn’t in a week, you suddenly felt guilty.

you had promised to a stranger.

a stranger who seemed to know you better than you knew yourself.

a stranger who seemed to think you knew him.

i didn’t know what kind of angst you wanted anon, so i kinda went with the flow! also, i was too lazy to add capitals. so. i think it adds to the theme. sure.

also yes. doctor kim from dr. romantic. sue me.

taglist: @h-grangerstudies @elektrosonix @snoozless @ackerpotato @asterroidd @rinrinniesstuff @bokuatsubro @literaleftist @howcanyoubreathewithnozaire @addicedtoeverythinganime @felixsamour @megumeee @aghashiii @fail-big @kailleis-sunshine

requests are closed.

hana’s author note.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu angst #miya osamu #hq osamu #osamu scenarios #osamu x reader #osamu angst #osamu x y/n #hq x you #hq angst #haikyuu imagines #hq #hq imagines #hq prompts #hana.writes!

[actuallybibis]

Visiting Hours - George Weasley

This is my first one shot, I’ve decided to do this because for some reason this new Ed Sheeran song reminded me of them. The lyrics will be slightly different. Please let me know what you think.

Words: 1328

I wish that heaven

Had visiting hours

A sign can be seen in front of a big gate, in a big white arc. Heaven visiting hours, it’s what it says. Walking alone through the gate is a tall, red headed wizard, that came every time that he could, just to talk to his brother.

“Hey Gred.”

So I could just show up

And bring the news

That he's getting older

And I wish that you'd met him

The two would spend hours talking about everything, but for some reason it’s been months since last visit.

“It feels like forever since I last saw you, what happened?” Fred asked.

“I’ve been distracted.” George said, waving his brother of. “But I have some exiting news.” He announced with the biggest smile in his face, since the war four years ago, it was rare to see George this happy.

“What is it mate, don’t leave me hanging.” Fred said almost jumping with curiosity.

“Angie and I had a baby!” George cried.

“Oh my Merlin Gred, this is amazing.” The older twin screamed. “I am an uncle, I am an uncle.” He singed, dancing around. “I can’t believe it.”

“Yeah, me neither.” George said. “I just wish that you could meet him, his name is Fred Weasley the second.” He told his brother, letting a tear slip from his eye.

Fred pulled him into his arms squeezing him tight.

The things that he'll learn from me

I got them all from you

“Now all you have to do is let go.” George explained to baby Fred, letting a dungbomb fall from the top of the stair from the burrow. “Me and your uncle loved to do that kind of stuff, and I know you’ll love it to.” He said looking at his son, kissing his head.

“GEORGE WEASLEY” A shout could be heard from the kitchen. “YOU BETTER NOT BE DOING WHAT I THINK YOUR DOING”

The baby in his arms couldn’t be more clueless about his surroundings.

I'd just stay a while

And we'll put all the world to rights

“You know” George started. “Ginny and Harry just had a baby too.” He told his brother.

“I can’t believe he knocked up our little sister.” Fred said, “I hope you and the guys gave him a proper scare when they told the family.”

“Believe me when I say, he will be terrified to even bring up the topic.” George answered laughing.

The little ones will grow

And I'll still drink your favorite wine

“He is so big Fred, he reminds me of you.” George said.

“Of course he reminds you of me, we’re identical!” Fred exclaimed “Honestly Gred, sometimes I think I got all the intelligence.” He said shaking his head.

George laughed, but inside he knew what he meant, and it was much deeper than the looks.

“Hey do you remember that wine that you brought home that day, when we had just closed the shop? It was the end of our first week, you bought to celebrate it.” He asked.

“Yeah, I remember, it became my favorite one, and I even remember that when I bought it, I was just joking around about being posh.” Fred said thinking back to that specific day.

“I still drink it ‘till this day.”

And soon they're going to close

But I'll see you another day

So much has changed

Since you've been away

“Hey Forge, I have to go, I think it’s closing time.” George said. ”I’ll come back tomorrow, same time. I still have so much to tell you.”

“No George…” Fred started but he was already gone.

Well, I wish that heaven

Had visiting hours

So I could just swing by

And ask your advice

What would you do in my situation?

I haven't a clue how I'd even raise them

What would you do?

'Cause you always do what's right

“I was just wondering, I think the shop needs some new products” He started. “But I can’t think of anything good enough. So, do you have any ideas?” George asked.

“Not really, but do you remember that thing muggles have that send an electric wave when shaking hands?” Fred asked. “I think you could come up with something to make this thing even funnier, I think dad would love it.”

“That’s actually a good idea, thanks Fred.” George said getting up to leave. “Looks like I have work to do, see you tomorrow.”

“Wait, don’t…” And again, George was out of reach.

Can we just talk a while

Until my worries disappear?

I'd tell you that I'm scared

Of turning out a failure

He'd say: Remember that the answer

Is in the love that we create

So much has changed

Since you've been away

“I don’t think I can do it Fred.” George said, almost crying.

“Of course you can, you did once, you can do it twice.” Fred responded. “Angie loves you, I love you, your son loves you and your daughter will to.” He said. “Remember that the answer is in the love that we create, or in our case, the chaos.” He laughed.

“You’re right, Angie is waiting for me, see you soon.”  George said rushing out.

“Hey wait… FUCK!”

I wish that heaven

Had visiting hours

And I would ask them

If I could take you home

Again, in front of the gates, was the red headed man, but this time he wasn’t walking, he was standing and looking up.

“PLEASE, PLEASE, LET ME TAKE HIM HOME” He screamed. “He doesn’t deserve to be here, I need him with me, he deserves to be living, he deserves to have a family like me, please, just please let me take him home.” He pleaded for someone, tears streaming down his face, he fell to his knees.          

But I know what they'd say

That it's for the best

“You don’t know what’s best, he was only 21, how can I deserve this life I have, and he doesn’t?” He cried.

So I would live life the way you taught me

And make it on my own

“George, c’mon, get up.” Fred said.

“Why can’t you be down there with me, I miss you so much.” George cried. “Every time I look in the mirror I see you, and it hurts so much.”

“No brother, every time you look in the mirror you see yourself, you need to stop thinking about why I died, things happen for a reason, I’ve accepted my death, you have too as well. It’s been years, I need you to stop coming here.” Fred told his twin.

And I will close the door

And I will open up my heart

And everyone I love

Will know exactly who you are

“I don’t think I can” He cried.

“Of course you can, live your life to the fullest, enjoy it.” Fred demanded. “I just have one request.” He said. “Don’t let anyone forget about me, and tell my nephews and nieces about me too, or else I’ll just have to pull your feet at night.” He joked.

'Cause this is not goodbye

It is just till we meet again

So much has changed

Since you've been away

“And remember, this is not goodbye, it’s just see you soon, you are not immortal my friend. When your time comes, I will be right here waiting for you.” He continued. “I just hope it will be many years from now.”

“Believe me I will never let anyone forget you, I love you so much.” George promised.

“Promise me that the next time I see you will be the day you die, preferably really old, like the Triwizard Cup day.” Fred pleaded.

“I promise.” George said. “I love you, see you soon.” He told his brother, passing trough the gates and the same sign that was there from the beginning.

Heaven: visiting hours. Opening hours: from the time that you sleep, till the time you wake up. 

#george weasley #george #fred weasley #fred #weasley #Visiting Hours #visiting #hours #ed sheeran #ed #sheeran #oneshot #harry potter #george x angelina #angelina johnson #molly weasley #arthur weasley #ron weasley #ginny weasley #fred weasley ii #fanfic #fanfiction #angst #fluff #hogwarts

[lonelyasawhisper]

The Miracle (1989)

If all God’s people could be free

To live in perfect harmony

It’s a miracle

We’re having a miracle on earth

Mother nature does it all for us

Don’t Try So Hard (1991)

“If you fail, you mustn’t grumble

Thank your lucky stars

Just savour every mouthful

And treasure every moment”

A Winter’s Tale (1991)

There’s a kind of magic in the air (Dreaming)

What a truly magnificent view (Dreaming)

A breathtaking view

(With the dreams of the world)

(In the palms of your hand)

In his final years on Earth, Freddie was perpetually in pain and living with the knowledge that he was going to die. But this magnificent man still managed to see such beauty in the world and find the optimism to go on loving and living life to the fullest.

People always say the lessons Freddie taught us are to be unapologetically ourselves, to believe in ourselves despite what anyone else says, and yes, I agree. But so many people have neglected that one of Freddie’s strongest, most admirable qualities was his optimism, his ability to see the best in people and the world, his love of life even when he was literally dying.

He really stared death in the face and said: “Yes, my days are numbered. But fuck you, you can’t stop me from being happy and loving my life and looking forward to tomorrow.”

#how did he do it #i aspire to be as brave and positive as freddie #i am feeling many things right now #freddie mercury #freddie #ramblings

[fuckedupneurodivergent]

IF YOU’RE ABOUT TO BINGE,READ THIS.

It’s never worth it.

Imagine how much weight you’ve lost in the last few days. If you binge now that was all for nothing because you’ll gain it all back.

Do it for cute clothes, shopping sprees, being happy

Because food will never satisfy you.

If you binge now, the urges will keep coming back. If you binge now, it will not be the last time. It’ll keep going on and on. Break the cycle.

That full feeling is so much worse than feeling dizzy with hunger.

Because control is power.

Collarbones, thigh gap, flat stomach.

Think of all the times you’ve binged, how it felt sitting up in the middle of the night. Don’t put yourself through that again.

You can reach your GWs. It just takes a bit of control.

Do it for that belly button piercing to look hot as fuck.

Imagine feeling comfortable in a bikini. You’ll never be comfortable in a bikini if you binge.

Get thin to be able to fit into those old jeans.

Just because you messed up yesterday, doesn’t mean you can’t do great today.

Reach those GWs. You fucking deserve it after all this shit you’ve been through.

In a week’s time you could be so much lighter.

Do it so he can pick you up and say you’re light.

Do it so people will worry again.

Do it so your fucking period leaves you the hell alone again.

Do it so you’re not afraid of going shopping and seeing mirrors.

Do it so you can get your makeup done professionally and you’ll look perfect.

Self control is so important, not just for weight loss. Practice now.

For the before and after pictures.

You’re gonna be the skinniest bitch you’ve ever seen. I promise. If you don’t binge.

To wear white skinny jeans with a black sweater.

To wear PINK workout clothes and just lounge around the house.

To wear a sports bra and oversized trackies when working out.

To wear triangl bikinis and feel like a model.

So you won’t be called ‘heavy’ when picked up

To proudly tell people your clothing size

To have thighs that look small in anything

So you won’t have to compare yourself to others in the changing room

To look good in short shorts

To have people ask you for diet tips

To have people say you look like a model.

So that you’ll begin to envy a model’s clothes, not her body

To look sexy without trying

To be able to change in front of friends

Being able to sit on his lap and be picked up

Having small thighs when sitting

Look good with messy hair, just woken up.

Looking in the mirror and seeing bones, not fat

The feel of your ribs and hip bones sticking out

Being cold all the time because you’re so thin and loving it

Always looking good in heels

Size 0 skinny jeans

Looking small in baggy shirts with jeans

Having visible collarbones

Having a thigh gap

Sitting in the middle of the car because you’re the smallest

To enjoy concerts and get drunk and party and just live life

Not having to worry about what people say behind your back because it doesn’t matter, nothing does because you’re thin

To become someone else’s thinspo

Binging is not fucking worth it, EVER, and it’s painful and it’s so fucking pointless. Why do you keep doing it?

So that you can try on clothes without wanting to stay in the fitting room, curl up into a ball, and die.

So that every and any photograph taken of you from any angle will look good.

So that you won’t be the fattest girl out of all your friends.

So that boys will think of you as girlfriend potential, not that funny girl who’s kind of chubby.

So that all your old expensive clothes fit again

So that you’re cheek bones will be fucking amazing again

Because skinny girls can get away with, making any face, wearing any outfit, or having any hairstyle

So that you don’t look like a messy slob with no self control

So that you’re friends respect you

So that you’re arm flab doesn’t spread out when you rest your arms on your side

So that people whisper about how skinny you’ve gotten behind your back

So that you when you sit, no matter what you’re wearing your stomach remains one flat perfect board

So that you never have to worry about your disgusting love handles oozing over the edges of your too-tight pants

So that you can rush out of the house in jeans and a t-shirt and look like a model

So that you don’t look like a fat little kid anymore.

So that you make your parents proud instead of being their fat-ass daughter without any self control

So that you’re boyfriend will be proud to show your photo, or you off to his friends

So that you can wake up in the morning without trying on a million and a half outfits and looking fat in each one

So that your self control, your amazing discipline shines through for everyone to see.

So that there is a space between your legs.

So that the shorter the shorts, the better.

So that you’ll be referred to as the pretty one

So that you’re hip bones will hurt people when you hug them

So that your shoulder blades are literally blades

So that your ribs are always showing, not just when you stretch

So that nobody even remembers that girl you used to be

So that you’re delicate and graceful

So that when people do see you eat they will not be thinking, “put down the fork fat ass”

So that when you try on your friends clothes they’re too big

So that being however weird crazy or out there you are is acceptable because you’ll look good doing it

So that if god forbid someone finds out that you’re starving yourself they don’t say “really? But you don’t look anorexic”

Because who wants a fat daughter, best friend, or girlfriend

So that everything is finally perfect

Remember how unhealthy you feel after a binge

To be the carefree girl who lives life to the fullest

To wake up tomorrow and weigh less

To be tiny and delicate

So people say you look like you’re about to break

Because what’s the point of eating when you don’t need to?

To be the skinny friend

So when you sit down your thighs don’t spread out to the size of an ocean

So you can be more confident

To not have to worry about calories

To love yourself

(I don’t remember who wrote this, sorry for not giving credits)

#skinny #donteat #starve #skinnier #thinner #thin #confidence #loveyourself #calories #anorexia #calorie #anoressia #fame #autostima #confident #weighless #weightloss #thighs #binge #purge #bulimia #fuck #ohshit

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

I love these summer time prompts! 37.Driving late at night with the music up and with no particular destination. Screams Finn to me, but lets combine it with 26. Accidentally letting slip a dirty fantasy from the other list.

If you’ve watched the movie, see if you can catch my easter egg 😉 Also, I made this GIF just for this fic!

* * * * *

For the third time that night, your eyes caught Finn’s.

The first look was through the smokey haze of an early evening bonfire, the piled-high wood that had been chopped still a little wet from an earlier rain.

The second look was after you both reached for the same cup at the keg. Finn insisted you take the cup, and with a sweet smile, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and watched as you got your beer. You thanked him again and he nodded, and without turning back, you knew he was watching you walk away.

While the first looks could have been brushed off as nothing more than an exchange of intrigue, the third look had purpose behind it. Again with his hands in his pockets, Finn was watching as you laughed at one of Benny’s stories; instead of turning away when you caught him, he grinned as his eyes slid over you, head to toe—and back again.

 You slipped away from the conversation and approached the sexy, sort-of stranger.

 “Hey,” you said, your lips still turned up in a smile.  

 “Wanna go for a drive? Only had a beer earlier so I’m not shitfaced or anything.”

 “Sure,” you answered narrowing your eyes as you thought about exactly what you could be getting yourself into, but the smile never left your lips.  

 Tossing the last dregs of your beer in the trash, you looked up at the sky as you followed Finn to his car. Your body was caught in that delicious in-between of being buzzed but not quite, so your mind was hyper-attuned to everything around you—the warmth of the mid-summer night, the stars dotting the black sky as the moon outshone them all, and the cicadas thrumming in the trees and on the ground, singing for their mates.

 “Your chariot awaits,” Finn smirked as he held open the door.

 “Why thank you, kind sir,” you giggled as you slid down into his passenger seat, the leather cool under your exposed thighs. You looked around, surprised by how clean his car was because Finn always seemed like a bit of a scatterbrain. You had at least expected a few errant fast-food wrappers or maybe some extra clothes, but it was spotless.

 As soon as Finn settled into the driver’s seat, the car filled with the smell of him—detergent and the earthy-pine scent of his cologne.

 “Your car is clean and you smell nice,” you stated the obvious, pulling a toothy grin from Finn as he turned the key in the ignition.

 “You sure you didn’t have more to drink?”

 “It’s the—GAH!” you yelled, clutching your heart as the bass from the last song Finn was listening to vibrated through your skin and into your bones.

 Laughing, Finn reached out and turned the music down.

 “Sorry!”

 Laughing too, you waved it off, Finn sneaking one more glance at your surprised, cheerful face before pulling out of the driveway and taking a left onto the highway.

 “Windows or AC?” he asked over the lowered volume on the stereo.

 “Give me a sec,” you replied as you fished through your bag for a hair-tie.

 After assembling a messy bun, you reached over and rolled your window all the way. Finn followed suit and then turned the volume up again.

 “Love this song,” he said, glancing over at you with a smile.

 “Rap it then!”

 Finn bobbed his head a couple of times to pick up on the beat then he started enthusiastically rapping:

Two AM, summer night, I don't care Hand on the wheel Driving drunk I'm doing my thang Rolling in the midwest side now Living my life, getting our dreams People told me slow my roll I'm screaming out fuck that I'm a do just what I want Looking ahead no turning back If I fall if I die Know I lived it to the fullest

 You were laughing and when you joined in on the second verse Finn looked at you with amused surprise. You rapped together, giggling at the lyrics you messed up, and when the song was over you listened to the next one in comfortable silence as the wind mussed your bun and tousled Finn’s curls.

 “Should I ask where we’re going?” you shouted.

 Finn turned the music down so you could talk over it, and replied, “How’s ‘no where’ sound?”

 “Perfect,” you grinned.

 You looked out the window and watched the trees whipping by, nothing but black blurs in the late night. You could see the lights of town just ahead, but in this moment, you felt like telling Finn to drive . . . forever.

 “Can I ask you something?” he questioned, interrupting your thoughts.

 “Yeah,” you said turning to look at him.

 “Why’d you say yes? To coming for a drive, I mean.”

 “Starting with the obvious, you are pretty cute, Finn.”

 He laughed and shrugged his shoulders, switching his driving hand so he could lean into the center console, his arm now almost brushing yours.

 “That all it takes with you?”

 “Uh, no!” you pushed your arm into his, warm skin against warm skin but only for the briefest moment. “I know you’re a good guy.”

 “And how do you know that?”

 “I . . . may have made some inquiries about you,” you teased.

 “You—” Finn said, cutting himself off as he pointed at you, “Made inquiries about me?”  

 “Maybe.”

 Finn pursed his lips and nodded, his eyes sparkling brighter and brighter as you drove into town and the streetlamps illuminated the inside of his car.

 When you reached a stoplight, he relaxed his driving arm and turned his head toward you.

“So you maybe made some inquiries about me and you maybe liked what you heard enough to take a chance on going for a drive with me. About right so far?”

 Without looking over, you smiled and bobbed your head in a slow nod.

 “Light’s green.”

 “So it is.”

 “Go!” you shouted as you laughed, finally turning to look at him and seeing his—were they blue? green?—eyes looking over at you with a brightness that made your breath catch in your throat.

 Finn finally broke and giggled, laying on the gas and speeding through the intersection. You laughed, too, shaking your head and when he asked if you wanted to stop at the next gas station for something to drink, you said yes.

 He insisted on paying for your water and the handful of snacks you absolutely needed, and when you settled back into his car and tore into your skittles, you stopped and asked, “Am I allowed to eat in here?”

 Finn chuckled and held out his hand. You poured a few skittles into his palm and he tossed them back, at least three of them pinging off the door because he missed half of his mouth.

 “Now you have to sweep out my car tomorrow.”

 “Fiiinn!” you whined. “You did that!”

 “You brought forbidden food into my car.”

 Your mouth popped open as you tried not to grin, but when Finn started laughing, you both lost it, still giggling as he pulled out of the gas station and left town.

 Once more the car plunged into darkness, lit only by the bright blues and soft fluorescent accents on Finn’s dash. You let one arm drift to the window, holding your hand up and flat to fight against the rush of the wind, and your heart leapt into your throat when you felt Finn’s fingers crawl over your thigh, just above your knee.

 That little touch sent a wave of warmth through your body and you turned to look at him, his face stoic until you snaked your arm across the console and rested your hand on the thigh of his khaki-colored shorts.

 His lips turned up in a smile and you leaned forward to turn the radio up again.

 As you sang along, Finn’s fingers would flex or softly stroke the bare skin of your leg, and in return, you would give his thigh a teasing squeeze.

 “My turn to ask,” you said, interrupting your current song by leaning forward and turning it down a bit.

 “Ask away, babe.”

 “Why did you ask me out?”

 “Did I . . . ask you out?” he said, his voice intoned with a teasing lilt.

 “Don’t play. I really wanna know! Besides, I answered when you asked.”  

 “Mmmhmm—if you call ‘maybe’ an answer,” he said his voice lilting into a higher octave as he imitated the sound of your maybe.

 You tsked and removed your hand from his thigh, shifting in your seat so his hand fell away from yours.

 “Okay—okay! I asked you out because I think you’re fucking beautiful. And I was hoping you were cool, you know like fun to hang out with . . . which now I know you are.”

 “You think I’m beautiful?”

 “Fucking beautiful, I believe I said.”

“Yeah. You did.”

 Finn glanced over and when he saw the way you were looking at him, his face lit up with another toothy grin.

 “Have I fucked this all up yet?”

 “Definitely not—have I?”

 Finn laughed, “Can girls really ever fuck up during this part?”

 “What part?”

 “The getting to know you part.”

“Either you haven’t dated a lot or you’ve gotten really, really lucky because yes! Girls can absolutely fuck this part the hell up.”

 “Truth is . . . I don’t always get to this part. I do the asking, then it’s a pretty short run right to the rejecting.”

 “No, Finn. That’s not rejection. That’s a great example of a girl fucking something the hell up because she lost out on a chance to get to know you.”

 Finn didn’t say anything, nor turn to look at you, but he found your hand with his and laced your fingers together.

 You wished more than anything that he wasn’t driving because you wanted to kiss him—kiss him until the only thing he could remember was that a girl he thought was beautiful wanted to get to know him.

 “I’ve never had sex in a car.”

 Finn’s hand jerked on the wheel and you grabbed the door’s armrest to steady yourself, a bubble of laughter escaping, sounding more like a hic-cup as you turned to look at him, his lips opened in surprise and his eyes dead-focused on the road.

 “It wasn’t an invitation!” you said, snorting with laughter. “Just a . . . possible fantasy for one day when the right guy with the right, clean car comes along—even if it has a few errant skittles on the floor.”

 Finn had let go of your hand to steady the wheel and he kept his fists at 10 and 2 while you spoke.

 “Fuck, Y/N. You can’t just blurt that out!”

 “Clearly!”

 “I mean . . . that’s like issuing a challenge.”

 “Because you’ve had so much sex in a car?”

 Finn gave you a pointed look that reaffirmed he had sex in cars probably more than in a bed.

 “It’s . . . convenient. Awkward, sometimes, but convenient.”

 “I’m more of a visual learner,” you stated, watching Finn’s hands grasp the wheel again just as he was starting to relax.

 “I will, uh, keep that in mind.”

 “Relax,” you soothed, leaning into the console and returning to your earlier position of resting your hand on his thigh. “I’m not that easy on a first date—if that’s what we’re calling this?”

 “We can call it a date . . . if the night ends with a kiss?”

 You bit your lip and scanned his face, watching as the corners of his mouth fought to behave.

 “I’d like that.”

 And with your words, Finn’s mouth lost its battle to remain neutral and for the hundredth time since he met you, he grinned.

#Finn #Finn x Reader #Female Reader #although no real body bits are mentioned #Finn FLUFF #Finn x Reader FLUFF #rami malek #rami malek character #rami malek fluff

[jmeddows2]

Purple Thunder finale (Roger Taylor Series)

(present/old) Roger Taylor series

Notes: ATTENTION: it is here! after almost half a year, the finale of purple thunder is here! If you’re still sticking around, thank you, I love you! I hope this one isn’t too cringey for you all, it sure as hell is for me! I hope it lives up to your expectations (at least a little). As always let me know how you like it, shoot me a dm, ask, anything. I love hearing from you. 

PS. this contains song lyircs of: The Pretty Reckless - Kill me;  Greta van Fleet - Safari Song & Taylor Swift - Call it what you want to. 

english is not my first language, sorry for mistakes. Also, I didn’t proof read much - bare with me please. 

Words: 4,3+k

Warnings: cursing? none else, it’s fluffy and cringey, whatever ;’)

*flashback to two years ago*

"Not very subtle is it?“

"What are you saying?“ you looked up to see Rufus looking over shoulder to read along the scribbled lines written on your notepad.

"drugs, bars, backseats of cars, blowing boys?“ he read chuckling his way to take a seat on the couch beside you.

"It‘s Rock 'N Roll what do you expect“ you laughed pulling your feet up to rest them on his thighs.

"Now who‘s the child of a fucking rock legend out of the two of us?“

"You know, if I didn‘t know any better, I‘d say it was you“ Rufus pinched your leg before bringing them to the ground. "Enough talking let‘s get mortal or I‘m going to die“ you jumped up and it wasn‘t two hours later that you were in the bathroom of a club fooling around with a random dude. Living the life of a rockstar to its fullest potential, for once not thinking about what the media would have to say the next morning. You didn‘t give a fuck. With one swift motion you pulled out a little plastic bag of coke and sloppily made a line along the countertop. Hands trembling in anticipation and the guys lips were nibbling on your neck.

"You got any money on you?” he brought his hot wet lips from your neck and handed you a crumbled up 5 pound note that he kept in the front pocket of his jeans. You used the money to press one nostril down and snorted hard.

"Fuck you‘re so hot“ the guy said while having his eyes on you by looking in the mirror.

"want some?“ you offered, but he declined. Another sloppy line and a make out session later, you stumbled out. It was a hard life. It sucked. But you would never let anyone know. Chasing a high but falling down even lower and hitting the ground. City. Concert. Drinks. Drugs. Sex. Meltdown. Repeat. 

The rare nights you spent alone in your hotel room were the worst. You felt small, like you didn‘t belong, being not able to tell fantasy from reality, seeing how far you could go. Zoning out, even if it was just for half an hour was a relief, not being yourself. Not having to be yourself. You stomped back into the room. Your drummer, Sid to your left having some blonde chick pressed up to a wall and he fist bumped you. A sort of "congratulating“ each other on the many times you both got lucky. Hot bodies all over the place and it felt like if one more person entered the club, it would have exploded. You felt your high slowly fade, trying to match names to the people you encountered all while searching for someone you personally knew. Long blond hair at the bar. Rufus. "Heyyy“ you slurred at him as he turned around. A pint of beer in his hand.

"Y/N! You don‘t look too good honey“

"What a gentleman you are“ your eyes were still blown and glassy. He looked quite concerned.

"I‘ll take you to the hotel love“ he touched your arm in a caring gesture.

"Don‘t take it the wrong way Ruf, like no offence, but I don‘t want to have sex with you“

"Not like that“ he laughed. "You look like you‘ve had enough for tonight. You‘ll thank me tomorrow.“ You felt stupid. Embarrassed. Being escorted out of the place like a child being dragged out of the candy store. Rufus put his arm around you to stabilize you, walking back to the hotel. As you began to sober more up, the embarrassment reached such height that you felt like dying right then and there. No one was supposed to see you like this. See you break, but the steps in the bright lobby of the hotel were the hardest. You could feel the walls you built up around you slowly but surely break. And once those walls are torn down. It‘s all over. "In you go lovely“ Rufus held the blanket up for you to slide in. "Thank you.“ "You‘re very welcome Ms. L/N“ he smiled. Rufus walked over to the little fridge to get a bottle of water. "Here you‘ll thank me tomorrow“ he handed it over to you. "Need anything else?“ he asked while tying his hair up. "I‘m good, I think“ you weakly smiled. Rufus startled you by jumping into the bed next to you. "You‘re not alright and being the good friend I am, I‘m here to listen and help.“ Silence followed and it felt like eternity. "I‘m fucked up“ your small voice filled the room. "You‘re just enjoying yourself“ he assured you. "Am I really? Who am I kidding? I made a complete fool out of myself once again." he could sense that he assumed wrong in the tone of your voice. "How do you mean?" he asked getting under the sheets. "It‘s all fun and games. Then I‘m alone again and everything gets worse.“ "And you feel guilty because you‘re cheating on Josh.?“ "I‘m the worst person, but no. Not entirely.“ Rufus reached out his hand to brush your hair back a bit, signaling that he was listening. "It‘s better now that you‘re here, because if you weren‘t, I would not know what to do with myself. Sometimes I can‘t stand myself. Most times, to be precise. I feel like a wreck. And I keep telling myself to not go back into these dark places. But still I keep going back.“ A silent tear made it‘s way down your cheek. "From now on and always. No matter when you need me, call me, facetime me, no matter the time. I know better said than done, but you‘re my friend. And friends don‘t give up on each other like that. You don‘t ever have to feel like you‘re alone in this. We‘re family.“ he pulled you closer to him, your head almost resting on his chest. With a steady breathing you slowly drifted off to sleep. *end of throwback*

Much time had passed. Time in which you felt the way you typically felt. Alone. Having broken up with Josh quite some time ago. Josh immortalizing you in one of his songs, describing how you left him, when he proposed: " Do you remember what I said, When I got down on my knees, Gotta get your lovin' baby, Lovin's all I need, Don't make me beg now baby, Don't make me bleed, I gave you all a man could give, And you still walked out on me" Roger has gone on tour. His wife in tow to your surprise. Every picture posted of them together made you feel smaller, the way he had his arm around her, made you doubt your situation around him. Tired of picking up a fight, sometimes ignoring his secret calls, you isolated yourself. The album, a declaration of love, that was supposed to be released soon, was now on the verge of being filled with songs that would make you feel the hurt and pain as a listener. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and Roger was coming home. The situation was uncertain. How would you deal with it? Did his flame of undying love find its way to burn with even more passion for his wife again? And what light did he see you in now? The 20-year-old something that’s been destroying his happy 10 years of marriage? Deep inside you hoped he wouldn’t, but to be honest, you wouldn’t have been surprised if he stayed with her. Maybe it was all just a rebellious phase. Trying to feel young again. Getting revenge on something stupid SHE did. The doorbell rang. It could be anyone, you thought to yourself. As you opened, a sheer wave of bliss washed over. His blue eyes shone like never before, you swore you saw stars in them. His hair was ruffled, well who’s wouldn’t be after a 20-hour flight. No exchange of words, just shoulders crushing into one another, fulfilling the tightest hug you’d ever felt. Once again, this is what home felt like and it’s been so long that all the doubts you had about him were crushed in a millisecond. "I missed you so much” Roger breathed into your neck. "I missed you more” you cried, your hand on the back of his head, fumbling with his white locks. “I don’t think that’s possible, my love.” he rasped. God you missed hearing the roughness of his voice, all close up and personal. When he pulled back, his nose gently brushed yours and he kissed you tenderly. "How are you feeling” you asked, helping him get his bags in, the majority of them already being shipped to Cornwall, to a house of his you haven’t got to see yet. "I’m toast” he huffed, letting himself fall into the comfy black sofa in the living room. “Is there maybe something I can help you with? A massage? Something else?” you tried to sound as seductive, slowly but surely getting settled on his lap. If he really didn’t get with his wife on tour he must be exploding by now, set aside all the secret wank sessions. As you grinded down on him, there was nothing. No reaction whatsoever. You tried some more until Roger stopped you.

"Sorry love, so sorry.” his fingers glided gently up and down your arm. "Has something happened? Have you changed your mind about us?” “No no, I’m just really exhausted I can’t quite ....you know.. get it up. I’m sorry, it’s embarrassing” "No Rog it’s not, don’t be sorry.” You assured him by kissing both of his cheeks one after the other, making him smile. "Anything else I can do for you instead?” you asked, ready to fulfill all his wishes. "I just want to be as close to as possible” He wanted affection, affection he had to go without for several months, except for the occasional social media schmoozing with his wife. Still sat in his lap, you cuddled tighter into him, cheek on cheek. His breathing was now more steady and peaceful, you could feel him relaxing, his tense muscles from drumming suddenly didn’t feel as tense any more. You two stayed like that for half an eternity, well a decent amount of hours, but it felt like minutes and before you knew it, the sun was setting. "Why don’t you move in with me?” Roger asked out of the blue, with you still on top of him. You looked into his eyes, questioning if it was a good idea. "Don’t worry, I already filed for divorce. The paperwork should be through pretty soon.” he assured you. God. That was it, now you knew he was for real. And hell would break loose if the media found out. For the media it already was bad that another woman was the reason for Roger Taylor’s divorce. But an age difference of 49 years would be the last straw - a real scandal. "I don’t know Rog. I don’t want to give up this place.” your apartment has been your rock over the years, you inspirational little cave with the perfect view.  "You don’t have to give this up.” He brought his hand up to your cheek, lifting your head so you were looking into his eyes once more. "I just want you with me all the time. I don’t want to go a day without you anymore” You melted into his touch. Every move he made, every word he said, every look he gave you, made your heart flutter. You’ve never felt this deep for anyone else before. So you nodded. "Is that a yes?” he asked with a dumb smile on his face. "Yes” His lips were on yours again. They felt like the inside of a rose, passionate, soft, and and a high of pure happiness rushed through both of you As the night grew cold, the two of you got comfy and especially cuddly. Finally together again. Roger cuddled into your chest. He needed this after months and months of going without it. It was only a matter of minutes, mixed with playing with strands of his hair and kisses to his forehead, that he fell asleep. His soft snoring let you know that he was very well enjoying every little thing. "The man who used to move under meat?“ you gave Roger a funny look. "Don‘t look at me like that“ Roger laughed having put on his stupid "joke face” but you loved it. He brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear. "t’was a guy at our parties, he would just lay on tables, being naked and covered in food that he was basically invisible. Once someone tried to grab something he wiggled, and they were startled. It was so fun watching“ you laughed at his story and cuddled closer to him. Roger’s Queen partying stories were the best, but thinking of all the girls he must have been with made you feel jealous and for some reason insecur as well.  "I can imagine. How many girls have you really been with?“ curiosity took over you. "Not as many as I‘d would let everyone know“ he chuckled. "Yeah yeah... bet it must be thousands“ you tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. "Well, then I have to disappoint you, my love“ you felt his hot breath on your cheek before he pressed a soft kiss to it. "And it certainly also wouldn’t have nearly been as many if you were there.“ "Roger we both know that‘s not true.“ "See, that‘s a lie“ he dipped down to kiss your lips. "Once we get to Cornwall I have something special to give you“ "What is it Rog?“ you whined still curled up in the warm bed drinking in the warmth that Roger left behind. "You first better get your beautiful bottom out of bed“ he called from the bathroom. "My bottom is here and ready start the day“ Roger finished shagging his hair out to style the way you liked it the most. Messy. He turned around and grabbed your face gently and closed the space between the two of you. "Morning breath“ you mumbled against his lips. "I‘ve had worse“ he mumbled back, a hint of mint made itself into your mouth. "Why do I believe you?“ you laughed, pulling away and letting your hand glide through his hair. "You look so good“ you looked at him in awe. "You know just how to flatter an old man“ "Don‘t. Say. That. Mr.. Taylor.“ you said in between placing kisses all over his face. His eyelashes fluttered while laughing. He was a sight to see. "You seriously better get ready now“ he gently slapped your bum and left you to yourself to take a shower. You put on some light makeup, comfy clothes and you both were off for a 5 1/2 hour drive in Roger’s black Range Rover. Thank god for Bluetooth speakers, much to Roger’s annoyance you blasted the Hot Space album, as well as any other Queen song he hated. "How do you even know these songs? You know every single word, might have to question your taste in music” Roger laughed. When he finally gave up, he joined you in singing along, harmonizing and trying to hit all the high notes just likehe did 40 years ago. To your surprise he still managed most of them. His hand almost never left your thigh, except for when it was time to shift gears. Yours usually rested on top of his. Nothing could ever compare to this.  When you arrived at his enormous mansion you were once again speechless. He showed you around to get settled once again and it made your mouth run dry, especially seeing all the golden discs and awards he stored all around the house and on the walls. Most of them were settled in the living room. "Can’t wait for you to contribute to the collection” Roger hugged you from behind while you admired them all. "Me?” You laughed. "Yeah of course you. I’ve never won a Grammy in my golden years. Only the honorable one 100 years later” his laugh vibrates on your neck. "Here” he handed you a black box. “Told you I’ve got something for you, something really special” You opened the box and it was one of the cymbal necklaces he was recently selling. Filled with joy, you jumped up on him and he gladly caught you in his arms, giving him a long kiss.  "Thank you, thank you so much!! I love it Roger” "But wait wait, my love” Roger put you down again. "This one was made out of the first cymbals I ever played with. And I wanted you to have it and kind of be a part of it,have a part of it, if that makes sense?” You had tears in your eyes, knowing that this part of his drums made such an impact on his life and him now giving it to you, even if was small, owning a piece of his early days. It made you feel special.. On the back, the words "right till the end, Love, Roger” were engraved. It was the best present ever, besides of course, having the love of your life all to yourself. "I also have something for you” you said, not having this situation exactly planned through, because of your anxiety he wouldn’t like it. "I had a lot of time to spend while you were gone“ "Doing only good stuff I hope“ he chuckled looking at you, his eyes shining from under his long lashes. "Come with me“ you took his hand into yours and guided him to the crackling fireplace. Roger sat down in his red leather chair, one that never left its place since moving in in the late 70s. You sat opposite him on the red, equally old fashioned carpet in front of the fire place, clutching your pitch black guitar tightly. "It’s not as awesome as your present, but here we go” A nervous feeling rushed through your body. Your slightly trembling fingers started picking the first chords. Seeing the way his eyes blinked at you, you knew he was listening closely. The song was called 'Call it what you want to’ and every single word was true. Nobody has heard from you for months, nor your fans, nor the media, at least  not since the Grammys. And Roger on the other hand, he loved you like you were brand new. He knew about your rocky, hard, and scandalous past, your battles with all things that are toxic and your battles with yourself. Still, he didn’t back down, he stayed by your side, no matter what. He built a fire just to keep you warm while everyone outside was throwing ice at you, trying to get to you. He could be trusted, a feeling not only his embrace let you know, but the way he treated you. His bad jokes always made you laugh, in fact the worse they were, the more you loved him. The “joke face” he gave you, when he expected you to laugh was just adorable and made you fall in love all over again.  When the song was finished, Roger had tears in his eyes. “Wow” he breathed. "I don’t think.. I don’t think anyone’s ever written a song about me, at least not one like this. It’s so beautiful. I couldn’t ask for a better present from the most beautiful girl in the world” your guitar was quickly on its stand again and you in Roger’s lap. "Thank you thank you thank you” he breathed kissing you all over. "It was a pleasure Mr. Taylor” you smiled. The hardest part was get to come. Releasing the songs which all evolved around yours and Roger’s relationship. Clearing all the rumors. Revealing your relationship. Meeting his children. But it all would come with time and didn’t matter at the moment.

 What he wanted though, was you meeting his children, as fast as possible. He was not one to keep something so special hidden from them, for as he long as he already did. So, one beautiful Saturday evening they all came to visit, you had even cooked a treat they all loved, but it was just how you expected it to be, at least part of it. Rufus came first, in tow with him Tigerlily and Lola. Roger and you were standing at the door, ready to greet them, but it seemed as if Lola still didn’t warm up to the idea of her dad dating someone so much younger, almost her age. Tigerlily hugged you right away, she was probably the most open minded one of them all. “It’s so good to finally meet you, I’m a big fan of yours!” Tigerlily giggled, handing over some wine and flowers as presents. “We’re going to kill this one later” she winked, holding up the bottle. “For sure” you smiled at her. Felix and Rory joined the party a bit later. It was kind of weird that they were a bit older, but you managed and as it seemed as if they didn’t have any problem with it either.

Tigerlily and you kept quoting vines and laughing at memes after dinner, to which Roger only shook his head, all while laughing about how good you were getting along. Your hand was casualy on the table when Roger cupped it with his, finally intertwining your fingers.  “Really?” Lola said out of nowhere, looking down at your joined hands. She got up and walked out of the room. “Lola” Roger called after her. Him, Felix, and Rory went after her. Your worst fear became reality. They didn’t accept you. You couldn’t blame her though, thinking you would react the same way if your dad showed up with someone much younger. 

“Don’t worry” Tigerlily assured you. “It’s just a lot for her to handle right now.” She hugged you tightly, rubbing your back. “Yeah , she needs time to warm up. Hasn’t even warmed up to Sarina entirely, it’s going to be alright.” Rufus said, taking a sip from his beer. He was right and you would be willing to give her as much time as she needed.

Nearly half an hour passed when they all came back into the dining room. “Y/N?” Lola stood in the door. “Can we talk?” she pointed towards the other room. You followed her. “Look, I’m sorry, that this is might be weird for you. I totally understand, but I really love your dad I-“ “I know” she interrupted. “And he really loves you. It just.. it just freaks me out a bit. And knowing my dad I know no one will ever be good enough for him, he’s the best dad ever” she explained. “ I believe you, he speaks highly of you all the time” “Well, he also does speak highly of you all the time, maybe I’m just a bit jealous that he won’t spend as much time with us anymore as he’s got you now.” Lola sounded sad and a bit disappointed. “ I won’t allow that” you assured her. “You know... I’d never keep him from seeing you all. As much as I love him, I want him to be happy and seeing as today went, it was pretty fun and a joy having you all around. Talking, eating, drinking.” “You’re right” Lola said. 

“I’m so sorry for making a scene.” “Don’t be sorry, it’s alright! But next time something bothers you, let’s just talk it out! I’ll always have an open ear for you!” “Awwe lovie, thank you. You know, you’re pretty cool actually. Having a female rockstar in the family makes for a great change” She admitted. “ You’re pretty awesome too! Love your photography” you smiled at her. “May I give you a hug?” Lola asked you to which you nodded. Right in this moment Roger went to look after the two of you and when he saw you hugging your problems out, his heart swell. He backed away quickly though, just fast enough for none of you to notice he was there.  “Let’s get back to the others now, or they’ll think we killed each other” you joked and you both went back to join the rest, to enjoy some desert. It was 2 am when Roger’s children left after everyone helped cleaning up. They really were all about teamwork and you adored them. 

“I had a great evening” you said to Roger while changing into something more comfortable. “I’m glad you had a good time, because I was really enjoying myself.. Except for the little.. Lola thing” he said, giving your shoulder a kiss. “oh, that’s alright, we get along now. What did you say to her anyway, when you went after her?” You asked him. “Oh just that you really put much work into this get together, you know.. with the cooking and all. And that I love you and you’re very important to me and that this is just how the future is going to be.” his reasonings were making you smile. “Your kids are awesome. You did a great job raising them.” “I know I did” he chuckled. “Can’t wait to meet them again” you said more quietly, brushing your thumb along his cheek. “Hold your horses little lady, you’ll see them soon enough. I love having them around y’know? We usually have a family meeting once a week, talking about what everyone is up to” “Sounds awesome” you loved the idea of them spending more time with the two of you, dining, drinking, having a laugh, going on family vacations. Family. The moment Roger saw you interact with his kids, having inside jokes with them, you and Tigerlily even arranging a date to go out shopping, he knew he made the right decision. Giving his whole heart to you and you loving him right back. He knew it already, someday, when the time was right, when the media would quiet down a little more, he’d make you “officially” part of his family. And when that time came, you knew what your answer to his question would be. YES. 

taglist: @goodoldfashionedlovergirlsblog @nicola2388 @bohemiansweede @namelesslosers @rogahqueen @jennyggggrrr @queenlover05​

#Queen #queen band #queen + Adam Lambert #roger taylor #present day roger taylor #present roger taylor x reader #present day roger fanfic #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor x reader #Purple Thunder

[krreader]

BTS reacting to you not wanting them to give you money.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: language genre: fluff ; angst

a/n: hey sweetheart, I hope you like your request ♥

ask box | masterlists | faq | twitter | ko-fi | REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

kim seokjin

“I know that surgery was the last thing you wanted, Ms. (Y/L/N), but I truly believe that it is your best option.”

It wasn't too serious, thankfully, but it had to be fixed and you had been dealing with this issue for way too long. You just wanted to be okay again and enjoy life to the fullest.

Jin tightened his grip around your hand, so much that you looked over to him, “I think you should do it, Jagi.”

It didn't take long for you to nod your head, but then you asked the question that would determine your decision: “How much would it be?”

“Well, it would..-”

“Let's not worry about the money, alright?” Jin interfered before the doctor could even begin talking about the money part. He already knew he would pay for this before he had entered the room, if the doctor told you the amount, you'd only feel more bad that Jin spent so much for you, he knew you well enough.

You were a little angry with him once you were back in the car, told him that you didn't want his money, but all he said was: “You are the most important woman in my life and have been since we started dating. This isn't about a pair of shoes or a dress, this is about your health and there is nothing more important to me than that.”

Man, you never thought you'd find someone who cared about you as much as he did..

min yoongi

Yoongi had used the spare key you had given him a few weeks ago to enter your apartment, putting down the food and smiling when he heard you yell out: “Two more minutes!” from the bathroom.

He made himself comfortable, took off his jacket and began opening up the boxes of food, when he saw a letter lying on your coffee table.

“I'm showered, I'm looking good, I'm hungry and I'm h..-” you stopped mid-sentence when you saw him hold up the piece of paper.

“Why didn't you pay rent?”

“I..- I just forget, I guess,” you lied, taking it out of his hand and putting it somewhere else, “I'll do it tomorrow, don't worry.”

“You're behind two months, (Y/N). Forget it one month, fine, forget it two months, there's a different reason.”

You didn't want to tell him because you knew he'd offer to pay, but you didn't want that. You've only been dating for a month, you didn't want him to give you money already because you were in a dire financial situation.

“I'll figure it out, okay? Don't worry about it.”

Yoongi didn't say anything that night, so you had thought he just shrugged it off and would let you deal with it. But when you went to pay your rent a week later with the last money you had, knowing that you'd have to go without certain things for a while, your landlord told you that somebody else had already paid for it.

And there was only one person who could have..

jung hoseok

You weren't living in Seoul, a little outside of it in a town that didn't really have public transportation, so you were dependent on your car. Not just to visit Hoseok, but also to drive to work.

And when your engine's began to die, you knew you were fucked, because fixing it cost almost as much as buying a new one and you didn't have money for either of it.

“(Y/N)?” your mother entered your bedroom, “I.. I think Hoseok is here.”

“Huh?” you furrowed your eyebrows.

However, your mother left out the most important part.

Hoseok came here in a brand new car. An expensive one. A luxurious one. One that wouldn't fall apart at any second.

“What is this?”

“Your new car,” he grinned, his sunglasses on his nose and the keys dangling from his fingers, “I wasn't sure which one you wanted, but I figured a black one like this is always nice. And I didn't want to ruin the surprise.”

“Hobi.. what the hell?” you didn't look happy at all, “I can't take this. This is too expensive!”

“It actually wasn't tooo bad.. the second the guy who sold it saw who I was, he gave me a really good price,” he cupped your face in his hands and smiled, “Listen, baby girl. You need something? I'll get it for you. Money is never something that you need to worry about.”

“You sound like a sugar daddy and I don't like that, Hoseok. I'm not with you for your money.”

“I know that. You're with me because you love me and because I love you back. And because of that, I want to buy you whatever you need, because you're the most important person in my life. So again, never worry about money.”

At first you hated it, but once you sat inside that car and the air conditioning worked – unlike in your old car. 

Let’s say you were a little more okay with it..

kim namjoon

Education has always been important to Namjoon. His own, but also that of you.

He was happy with what he was doing for a living, he wouldn't trade it for anything else, but he didn't want that life for you. He was happy that you weren't an idol and were studying hard to achieve your goals outside of the industry.

However, university wasn't cheap, he knew that as well as you did. The first few semesters were fine, you had worked before and were able to pay for it, got financial help from your family.. but now it's almost been two and a half years and your family couldn't help anymore. And your assets had all run dry too..

You were standing at the window, watching Seoul be as alive as it's been during the day time and trying to figure out what you would do, when Namjoon hugged you from behind.

“Why are you worrying so much, babe? We talked about this.”

“Namjoon, you have worked hard for your money. Your money. This isn't mine.”

“We're in a relationship and I'd like to think we share everything with each other.”

“But what can I give you back?” you turned around in his arms, tears already visible in your eyes, “You do so much for me and I feel like I'm using you if I take this money. I'm not with you for the money.”

“You know why I know that? Because we're having this conversation right now. Anyone who would be using me would just take my money and get on with it, but not you,” he cupped your face and leaned down to kiss your forehead, “You give me back love, support and a shoulder to lean on when I need it. I appreciate that more than I can say, (Y/N). You give back as much as you get, so please never worry about something like money.”

park jimin

It was always Jimin who paid for your dates in the beginning and while you have never been fully comfortable with that, there came a point where you just couldn't let him do it anymore.

You've been going on dates for two months now, it was about time you paid for the bill.

Problem was, you two only went to restaurants where you knew you would get privacy. And these kind of restaurants were all fancy as fuck.

So when the waiter placed the bill on your table, you nearly choked on your spit because of the number that was written there.

“Jagi..-” Jimin began, but you immediately shook your head and took out your card.

“It's fine, really. I'll pay.”

But it wasn't fine. Jimin knew why you wanted to do this, so he reached over the table and grabbed your hands, a small smile on his face, “You know what makes me the happiest in the world?”

“Hm?”

“When we go out and you eat a lot. Because then I know you're okay and happy. Then I know you're healthy and in good spirits. There is nothing that makes me happier, (Y/N),” slowly, he took your credit card and replaced it with his own, “So I'm gladly paying to see all of that.”

You wanted to argue, but the waiter stopped by to take the credit card away before you could.

One day.. one day, when you'd make more money too, you'd treat him to a nice and fancy dinner.

kim taehyung

“It'll be really nice, just us and our girls, the sun, the ocean, peace and quiet,” a friend of Taehyung's said over dinner, “You really should come with us.”

Taehyung looked at you, then pulled the phone of his friend closer to swipe through pictures of the villa that they wanted to rent for a couple of days.

It did look amazing, no doubt in that. A private pool, a private backyard, a private.. well, everything, basically. Taehyung was already on board with it, had agreed to it and was now talking when, where and how, while you were still swiping for more pictures. Until you accidentally swiped down and saw the price, your eyes widening because of it.

You were eight people. So that sum, divided by eight..-

“Taehyung?” you cleared your voice as quietly as possible and leaned over so that you could whisper: “I don't think I can afford this.”

“Huh?” he looked at the price, then he started chuckling, “You don't have to, love. I'll pay for it.”

“No, stop, don't do this. I don't want you to pay for my vacation,” you've only been together for four months, you didn't want to start this relationship by letting him pay for something so expensive.

“Listen, I want you to be with me. If all I have to do for you to come with me is pay that little sum, then I won't even think twice about it. I just want to spend a few days with my girlfriend without anyone bothering us.. like we're normal people.”

He looked so determined about this. Couldn't blame him, the stress of the last weeks had been hard on him and it was clear that he needed this break.

You were still uncomfortable, but then you heard that the other guys were all paying for their girlfriends too, so you ended up being semi-okay with it. Semi was the important word though. You would make up for it in other ways.

jeon jeongguk

“We've only been dating for two months.. I don't want to leave you alone for three, (Y/N).”

The downside of touring was leaving the people he loved behind. And he was just beginning to figure out his feelings for you.

“Hey, we can call each other every day or text whenever we want to.”

You knew he wanted you to come with him, but you didn't have the money to pay for all these flights, nor the hotels.

You weren't like him, you were normal. And sometimes Jeongguk seemed to forget that.

Or maybe not.

“You know I can pay for all of it,” he said, saying out loud what you've been worrying about, “It doesn't matter to me.”

“But it matters to me. You're not my boyfriend because of your money.”

“No,” he wiggled his eyebrows and pushed you down into the mattress of his bed, “I'm your boyfriend because you like me,” a kiss on your forehead, “Because you care about me,” a kiss on your nose, “Because you look out for me,” a kiss on your right cheek, and then finally he hovered above your lips: “And because you're beginning to fall in love with me.”

Aaaaand he got you.

You'd come with him, that's it.

#bts imagine #bts reactions #bts x reader #bts #bangtan #bangtan reaction #bangtan boys #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #bangtan sonyeondan #reader #bangtan x reader #bangtan boys x reader #requests

[duker42]

Sequel to "Sunshine" where Floch tells the reader that her friends' murder was their fault because they joined the Chinese triads and that they deserve to be 6 feet below. For the first time ever, people see rage in her eyes. Her voice deepens and her tone is menacing but she stays composed. She tells Floch that he doesn't know what it's like in the underground and that her friends aren't 6 feet below; they're up in heaven looking down at her- 1/?

Sunshine Story Here

💜Cloudy Days💜

The Mess Hall fell silent as everyone in the room held their breath.

“What did you just say?” Y/N’s voice rang out like a shout across the room, although she spoke no louder than normal. The venom in her voice was what caused it to echo throughout the lard hall.

Floch stared back, defiant stance in place as he opened his mouth. “You heard me. Your friends deserved to die. They were dead the moment they joined the Triads, they were just too stupid to realize it. Now they are rotting in Hell like they deserve.”

He continued on with his rant. “You are no better. You act all innocent and full of sunshine, but you are filth just like they were.”

“My friends were NOT filth. And they aren’t in Hell. They are in Heaven watching over me. Smiling as I try everyday to honor their memories and live life to the fullest for myself and for them. I will continue to do that with every breath I draw. I could care less if you approve or not. I suggest you shut your mouth against others.” Tears filled her eyes, ones of rage at Floch and the poison he spewed from his mouth and the sorrow that came every time she saw their deaths.

Silently, the friends that Y/N had made since joining the Scouts all came and stood behind her, throwing stony glared at the red headed boy. They had never seen the girl so morose before, her signature smile a figment of their imaginations.

When Floch sat back down, Y/N didn’t return to her seat. Instead, she walked slowly out of the Mess Hall and disappeared.

No one had seen Y/N when Levi had gone looking for her. After witnessing Floch’s confrontation in the Mess Hall and her serious reaction to it, he had waited before going to search for her. Knowing that she would need some time to sort through her feelings.

Knocking on her door brought no answer, but he knew that was where she would be. He pulled the master key that he rarely had to use out and opened the door to her private sanctuary.

Her room was neat and clean. The standard room issued to soldiers in the castle with the exception of the bench seat beneath the window. Y/N had found a cushion to place on it and was currently sitting there, staring out the window.

She only turned her head slightly as he approached, her eyes still trained on whatever had captured her attention outside. He sat down beside her and waited. The silence a soothing friend between them. The fading light of day hovered as the darkness approached, giving the sky a magical appearance.

“They were good people. The don’t deserve what Floch said about them.” Y/N said, sighing and turning to face him.

Grey eyes stared back. “Don’t let that coward get to you. Everyone in the entire Legion wants to punch him.”

He took her hand in his and roll back a sleeve to slow the faint edges of her tattoos. “You survived more that anyone in that Hall would ever dream of. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel or how to live your life. Fuck ‘em all.”

Y/N smiled and pressed her hand on top of his. “Thank you, Captain.”

“Anytime Y/N....today was just a cloudy day for you. Tomorrow the sun will shine again.”

Mobile MasterList

#captain levi #levi ackerman #snk levi #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #levi aot #aot fanfiction #levi ackerman x reader #snk x reader #aot x reader #captain levi x reader #levi x reader #captain levi fanfiction #levi fanfiction #levi ackerman fanfiction #snk fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #levi heichou

[slasherscream]

billy x reader x stu moving in together w/ their s/o headcannons?

A/N: the sheer level of stress this would cause is incomprehensible. 

     billy loomis x reader x stu macher            ft. moving in together 

                                                     ——————– 

Billy is the one who suggests it honestly. He’s possessive. He’s clingy. He’s insecure. Triple threat? Dream guy? Precisely.

It’s not that he doesn’t trust you (or Stu) it just is what it is. So after you graduate high school he wants you all to move in together like …. yesterday.

You can resist him for a little while on it but he wants it so bad that he doesn’t instantly turn into a huffy asshole the first time he’s told no (even though this is his natural state).

Instead he dials his manipulation and charm up to a solid ten™. He’s gonna get what he wants and for something this big he's willing to play it sweet and understanding until he gets it. The bastard.

It's just as much about keeping an eye on you as it is just a regular, clingy boyfriend mood of always wanting you around. Stu agreeing with the idea so readily and eagerly is mostly due to the second reason because he does #Not have the same ...issues...Billy has. He is, however, just as needy!

Once you get worn down by the constant badgering and annoyance ahem TLC?? Get ready because you ain't seen nothing yet in terms of trouble coming your way!

Rich boy Stu is obviously going to pay for this. No apartment because of their little “hobby”. He’s an only child so he can just get whatever the hell he wants so y'all wind up in a rented house (he offered to buy it but that was just #Too Much).

Just picking the places to look at was a nightmare. Stu wanted something close to people, ever the extrovert. Billy wanted something as far away from people as possible since people are fuckers (he should know). Constantly driving to places they've each picked out and having to stop fights before you've even gotten out the car.billy: in the middle of downtown?? are you fucking serious?? stu, mockingly: in thE MidDLE oF DOwntOWN?? aRE YOu sERioUS??                          and that’s just a disagreement in location. 

You want to know what fucking HGTV shows they’ve been watching behind your back to make them so fucking obnoxious about this. Did Billy just say something about the lighting of the kitchen?? You're going to have a fucking conniption. 

Eventually you get fed up with how extra they’re being about the whole process, which is already naturally stressful and time consuming, and confront them.

Determined to make you feel bad they reveal that they’re actually just stuck on picking the perfect place because this is such an important step in a relationship. It’s the start of a life together. Your first home (not a house       a home). They want it perfect. As perfect as the future they can imagine having with you. Sappy?? Yes. 

Stu did most of that admittance while Billy kinda looked out a window, busy grinding his teeth to dust at the emotional vulnerability pervading the room like too much perfume in a department store. This turns into sex which he is infinitely better at than talking. Also he admits to more shit (feelings) after sex like he can just pass off anything he says as?? Orgasm mush mouth?? Idiot.

Once you’re all on the same page you can work as the well oiled machine you truly are. It doesn’t take long to find a place after this.

Your suffering isn’t over by a long shot though. This is your first place together and other than clothes and personal items they want everything in the house to be brand new or new to all of you at least.

So now you have to fully furnish the place. Billy the edgelord surprisingly wants the place very cozy? Talking warm and bright colors. Soft throw pillows. Shit ton of trinkets. Picture frames. He wants your place to look like a family could live here. Wants it to look like it'd take forever to move out. The word minimalism (though he doesn't know it) makes him want to throw up.

Getting a mattress is bullshit because Stu likes his beds soft and Billy likes his firmer. It's like trying to pick a very permanent fixture of furniture with two equally annoying Goldilocks. The mattress salesmen wanted to die. You wanted to die.

You guys almost got kicked out because at one point to test the mattress you all made out on it? Also?? Jumping on them. Jumping on them like five year olds. How did Stu convince you to do it? Unknown. Billy sat on the bed dignified as you two did this. He’s being jostled but his face is absolutely impassive. The chaos jumped out. Stu tipped well at least.

They can both agree they want a TV in the bedroom though. Hooray for agreeing on something! But honestly? Don't let them do this. That means you'll never again know peace. Imagine knowing you have class tomorrow morning while Stu is sitting next to you in bed?? Spilling popcorn on the sheets and talking about the random final girl's breasts while Billy is telling him to not "get the fucking sheets dirty" while he is going off on a tangent about the unrealistic blood splatter?? Veto the bedroom TV.  

Stu doesn't really care about the decorating much?? Because he's not uptight like Billy. He just wanted to get a really nice place for the three of you. Now you've got a nice place            "Anything else is whatever man."

If pressed about something though he doesn't like white walls very much? Would rather some other color. Nothing crazy? Just ...not white. Light grey? Maybe a blue? Tan? Brown? He doesn't care! But if he's asked now he for sure wants to paint everything a non-white or only have white as an "accent wall" (seriously you're going to cry where are they hearing this shit??)

He starts to paint. Gets brushes. Rollers. Tarp. Tape. The whole nine yards. Gonna do this the right way! Doesn't even splash Billy with the paint more than twice (because he's an adult dammit ... and also because the second time it got too close to Billy's hair and the look on Billy's face was... scary).

He runs out of steam for this project so fucking quickly. Bless his heart. Admirably he probably gets one entire room done. Other than that? :/

The only things he doesn't half-ass are murder and loving you and Billy. He will never change! He will never improve! His brain power is limited and he's chosen his tasks. Like how you can only equip a Sims character with like three traits? That's Stu.

Doesn't just leave you and Billy hanging to finish it alone though (because Billy would literally stab him). He throws a "house party" where a whole bunch of his friends come over and help to paint. Then they get all the free booze they can drink and pizza they can eat while they watch whatever sports game happens to be on. You had to tell him booze comes specifically after the finished job because he doesn't have the foresight to know drunk twenty-somethings painting a house would be a nightmare. Crisis averted before it starts. 

The house has all new appliances of every sort because Stu wants the best of everything and has no impulse control. He doesn't even drink coffee but you have a brand new coffee maker in your kitchen one day. Billy the rat doesn't let things go to waste so he starts drinking coffee every morning. 

Are you into decorating? No? Better get into it! Stu did his one thing to personalize the house and you have to do something too. It's part of Billy's fucking...the word is anxiety but he'll never use it. He wants you to be so involved in the making of this space for the three of you like that would stop you from ever leaving it one day? Show visible enthusiasm or god help everyone. Can we get a therapist in here? Can we PLEASE get a therapist in here-

This is literally Stu annoying the shit out of you and Billy during the ikea trip. Stu wants so badly to get kicked out of IKEA just for the purpose of saying he was once kicked out of IKEA. Billy won't allow it because this is "fucking serious, Stu" and “we have shit to do”. Stu can thus only release his chaos energy with puns and he does it to the fullest extent. 

Setting up/assembling the furniture literally gets put on pause so the two can go out and murder someone because if they don't?? They'll kill each other. "Did you drop the fucking screws for this somewhere?? Do you want me to stab you with this screwdriver?" and "You know what? This is why I laughed when that shelf you put up fell on you, you dick-"

They come back in the dead of night soaked in blood and you come out the bedroom squinting at them. The coffee table is now set up. Yay?? 

Honestly all the aggravation and tiny fights are worth it once you're fully settled in? There's a sort of peace to Billy that he'd been lacking before. You guys have carved out this little spot in the world that's distinctly the three of you and just for the three of you and he loves it. 

He's much more confident about the relationship now than he ever was before. Let him make you a shitty cup of coffee in the morning and kiss your forehead only for Stu to grumble about how everyone should still be asleep because it's Saturday guys-

                           *cue sappy but quirky romcom music*

You're living a domestic fairytale that features a little bit more blood than average but hey? Isn't that a low cost to pay for true love? 

                                                     ——————–

#billy loomis x reader x stu macher #stu macher x reader #billy loomis x reader #slasher x reader #billy loomis #stu macher #slasher imagine #scream #this was so fun adjkl #BILLY IS A DESPERATE FOR BUILDING A FUCKING PERMANENT LOVE NEST ASS BITCH #you CAN'T change my mind or buy my silence thank you very much #billy w/ a knife: we are all going to live in this house and be domestic or i will begin committing acts against god- #stu who just always wants attention: this will force you both to be close to me 80% more no matter how annoying i'm being welcome to hell-

[wavesmp3]

and yet your eyes still shine

pairing: lee chan x fem!reader genre/theme: ex friends reunion + hints of an apocalyptic world wc. 1.2k warnings: cursing, mentions of death

-- 

it's on the night of his high school reunion that he sees you again. the high school reunion that's about 10 years too early (chan can thank the plague for that). but either way, despite the circumstances, it's on that night that he sees you again. he tells himself he reacts the way he does because he's surprised to even see you there, surprised you're even alive. but that's a lie. his mouth drops and his breath stops because somehow in the mess of it all, in the looming end of the fucking world, your eyes still shine with the goddamn stars. 

chan doesn't really want to be at this party. but he remembers receiving the e-invite and wondering who’s even alive. he remembers thinking that it couldn't hurt to show up. yet now that he's here, chan feels as if he's invisible, like he could slip out the back door and everyone would assume he's dead. but as you walk towards him, chan feels like he's at the center of the universe. and suddenly he can't remember any of his previous reasoning for coming tonight. chan can only think about the way your lips felt on his the night of your senior prom. chan can only wonder how the hell your eyes still shine as brightly as they did back then. 

then you grab his hand and say 'shall we dance?'

hell yeah. 

(it was on that other night, so many years ago, that chan finally told you how he felt. he told you about years of hopeless pining. and on that night you replenished four years of longing with one night of steamy kisses and breathless declarations in the back of his prius. chan knew that what happened at prom was only meant for that night, but tonight, at this dumb high school reunion; tonight feels as if it’s meant for the rest of your lives)

so chan follows you to the dance floor and abides. 

and as the two of you sway together at the edge of the dance floor you mutter names of old classmates. the names of all those who had died. chan whispers about how it's a miracle you're both alive. you still and say it's no miracle. it's sheer dumb luck. and when you start swaying again, chan can see the stars dim in your eyes. chan wants to cry at the sight. 

but then the song changes, something more upbeat, more lighthearted. chan remembers this song as the one that played on the radio as he drove home alone from prom. "oh, i love this song," you say, and your eyes light up again. you start dancing wildly, shamelessly. and chan's laughing. he thinks you don't fit in at this party, not with the way you dance, arms flailing around. 

the song ends, but the smile and stars don't leave your face. chan can tell you're trying to say something, but it's too loud at this party. he wants to kiss your lips, but he reads them instead. they say 'wanna get out of here?' and this time chan takes your hand leading you out of the hall. maybe he doesn’t fit in at this party either. 

(as he leads you up the stairs to the rooftop, chan remembers that moment during senior year on the school's roof. that moment when he came to flee from his friends, and that moment when he found you. chan could tell by the flickering stars in your eyes and the sunset on the tip of your nose that you had been crying. he knew why but pretended he didn't. and when you didn't make him leave, chan took it upon himself to make you feel better. but it's only natural chan remembers that moment, that day. chan couldn't forget the day the plague had begun even if he tried) 

“you look so happy,” he says to you leaning on the railing. 

you peer over the edge of the roof, “i’m not.” 

the night sky isn’t clear. there isn’t a single star in sight, yet somehow your face is lit up. Like a fallen angel, your face shines, almost as brightly as your eyes. chan must look like a shadow in comparison. 

“are you happy chan?” you ask, leaning further over the edge.

chan thinks it over for a moment. he had plenty reasons not to be. the plague had taken 23-- no 24 people from his life, people that he still kept in touch with at least. who knew who else the plague had taken from him. but in this moment, in the light of your eyes, chan thinks about how the plague hasn’t taken you. “i’m not sad.” 

and with the deepening crease in your forehead, chan asks: “how’s your family?” 

the question slips from chan’s lip before he can remember the reality of this world. it’s a question from the past. a question that now, in the wake of what life on this planet has become, is a sad reminder of all that’s been lost and of the forgotten glory of humanity.

you inhale sharply, and look up into the sky. “dead most of them. just me and my father left now. you remember him right?”

he does, but faintly. it’s a difficult thing for chan: remembering and more specifically, remembering you. especially after he spent all these years trying to drown the memory of you, trying to swallow back those four years with a couple of shots. especially now that chan’s memories of you are burned and blurred. he regrets it now. if chan had known about tonight, about this second chance, he would’ve laminated all his memories of you. 

“it sorta feels,” you begin tucking a lock of hair blowing in the wind behind your ear, “like we should just be waiting. waiting for death, for the plague. don’t you think?”

“no,” chan mutters, “it feels like we should live life to the fullest.” 

“why though? why bother when chances are we’ll die sooner rather than later? wouldn’t we just be living to die?”

“i guess, but weren’t we always? if you’re looking at it that way, we’ve always been living to die. what difference does the plague make? life will take its course, so we should enjoy whatever time we have left. our air is borrowed. our lives are a gamble. we could get the plague tomorrow. we could die in a car crash tonight. or we could live until we’re 100. this plague is not a death sentence. this plague is nothing more than a catalyst to life. and if that’s the case, if our lives have been sped up, then it’s only natural that we speed up with it.” 

and when chan removes his gaze from the cloudy night sky, he sees the darkness of the sky infiltrate your eyes.

it's on that rooftop that the stars in your eyes spill onto your cheeks. it's on that rooftop that chan holds you in his arms. it's on that rooftop that chan asks what has the plague taken from you. it's on that rooftop that you answer: everything. 

and when all the stars have been purged from your eyes, pooling on a puddle beneath your feet and in the dampness of chan’s shirt, you return the question. you ask what the plague has taken from him. he falters, grasping onto the broken bits of your voice for a response. but when he gets lost in the void in your eyes and the darkness in your face, he knows. He answers-

“most notably, you”

#seventeen #chan #dino #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fics #seventeen smut #chan scenarios #chan imagines #chan fluff #chan angst #chan fanfic #chan fics #chan smut #lee chan #dino scenarios #lowqualityseventeen #and yet your eyes still shine #svtcreations #svt writers #svtwrites #write svt #mine #write #my fics #writers #writing

[dodo4298]

You know what I always sometimes think about?

This:

Everything must start from something small. No matter how you look at it, it has to start with something so small, so negligible.

A building must start from a single brick.

A novel must start from a single word.

A painting must start from a single stroke of a brush.

A book must start from a single page.

A song must start from a single note.

And you know what else starts from something small?

A dream.

A dream starts from a single hope. A fantasy. An ambitious thought.

But you know what crushes those dreams and big things that you see all around you? A small remark.

A hateful, horrible comment.

Those comments, no matter how you try to stop yourself from hearing them, they still get to you.

They still hurt you.

They find cracks and cracks and cracks until they reach you, all just to put you down.

Cancer is one of those small things that can be either the best thing that has happen to you or just be the end of you.

Cancer is merciless. Fatal.

It's a disease that is cursing beautiful people, limiting them from whatever they can do. And from there, they choose.

A road where they can be as happy as possible and live their lives to its fullest.

Or a road where it just kills you before you actually pass away.

Pain is inevitable. It's the only thing that keeps you alive.

You feel pain and that's your body responding to whatever that's harming you.

You feel pain and that's how your heart seeks comfort from those who are around you who genuinely loves you.

You feel pain.

Pain

Pain

Pain

But sometimes, it gets you nowhere.

It leaves you empty.

Hallow.

You can do nothing about it.

No one can do anything about it.

No one but those who are trying to solve this code.

These horrible, complicated algorithms that keeps on killing innocent people who don't deserve to die.

They tell us not to do something to prevent it. We listen and obey. And yet, we still get it.

It doesn't stop.

It keeps on getting worse.

And what's even horrible is that it's not contagious. It doesn't spread like a cold or a fever. It just appears.

How's that fair?!

How's that okay?!

Why do those people have to suffer through the worst pain? Why is the only thing that “recuses the tumours” is to fucking shove fucking chemicals that burns into their veins?

Why didn't the come up with a cure already?

How did it even start?

Why did it even start?

Why didn't the development of the medical sector include developing a cure for those who are going through chemo?

Even without that.

Why is so many people still dying of those tumours without them knowing it as cancer?

Why are there people in this world that would rather keep their mouth shut about how to actually find a cure for this human disaster and get all the money they can get?

Aren't those people also human?

All those whys and how's and what's don't have answers. And it is frustrating because you feel helpless.

You just want to help but you can do nothing but pray and donate.

And even if you do donate, how do you know that's the whole amount is going for that sector only?

You were told not to trust anyone.

Why should you trust them?

I trust them because they are my only hope for a better future. I want to be a part of that small small small percentage of the donation that could get someone a break into the code and solve it.

That's all I can do.

Donate.

It's so lame.

It's so so so lame that it just brings lumps to my throats because it's not fair.

I want to help.

I want to help help help but what can I do?

If I start a charity, I'll have to go through a long procedure to ensure that that money is actually going to the right people.

If I visit and donate for those people directly, they might feel like I pity them. I don't.

I don't.

I don't.

I don’t.

I just want to help. I want to be looked in the eye, one day, and be told that I've changed their lives.

But what am I?

I.

Me.

I am just a grain of sand in a desert.

I always thought that life was unfair. But it feels so unfair for me, to actually say that it's unfair.

There are people who live for so long but haven't actually lived! There are people who have lives for such a short while, but have lived it to its fullest.

Isn't that what we have to do?

Live life like there's no tomorrow?

But how are we supposed to live now... without looking into tomorrow.

Shouldn't I have a plan to where I want to be in the future?

Shouldn't I have a list of things I want to do in the future so I can do it when I am able to??

What am I supposed do when I'm already falling apart?

There must be a force to stop the momentum of those broken pieces of mine from shattering to the floor.

But that's all I am doing.

All I am doing is falling

Falling

Falling

And I am waiting for a force that might never come.

That might never exist.

I could just shatter and have no one to pick up those grains of sand all around.

Because glass is made from sand and fire. And my fire might have been out for a long long time that all that's left is sand sand sand.

I could be one of those people who live long but haven't lived it right.

But I long long long for a purpose.

A reason of existence.

I long long long to make a mark in this world. Not matter how small.

Because all big things start from small small small insignificant things like me.

#deep #into the deep #deep thoughts #thoughts #late night thoughts

[fatrich-cashpig]

venus retrograde and why she loves fucking you in the ass

Who the fuck is Venus Retrograde and what is she doing in my ass?

Anyone who knows a bit about astrology is probably familiar with both these terms, but for those of you wanting to be clued in, here’s a breakdown:

Astrology is based in the stars. Obviously. The planets all play characters and then pass on some of their ‘traits’ to the signs in the Zodiac. But we don’t care about the Zodiac right now, let’s focus on how these characters and their actions can influence the events in our lives.

Firstly, Venus represents two main areas in our life; love and money. How sexy is that? She rules over the things that bring us pleasure in life. She is what we desire, what we chase and what we love to have an abundance of. She also shows us what we value and the things we deem most important. Studying what sign your Venus resides in teaches you what makes you the happiest and what you’ll essentially chase in life. The key component to understanding what Venus actually means is recognising that she is all about attraction in both directions. That is, what we are attracted to as well as our ability to attract. Being the ruler of Libra and the ancient ruler of Taurus, she is very much about harmony, stability, security and appreciation.

So on a normal day, Venus transiting direct (her normal astrological pattern, NOT retrograde) would mean those aspects of your life would be fairly balanced and you’re free to move forward without much apprehension. But, sweet friends, she is turning her back on us for a hot second, and it is so important we turn with her. This is a retrograde. Usually, the planets spin on their axis and rotate around the sun, but during a retrograde, instead of moving forward, they move back. This throws our Venusian energy off a little bit, but I promise it’s for a good cause.

This is the part that frightens most of us, for good reason. Retrogrades are all about slowing down to reflect and re-evaluate where we’ve come from in order to be safer in where we are going to go. Delving into our own past and having to return to places where our hearts and minds were weaker is painful to say the least, and extremely displeasing when all you want to do is let the past go and move on. Moving on is the easy part, dealing with your past is the hard part, and that’s why we tend to struggle during retrogrades. It’s in our basic biological nature to continue to grow and expand and conquer, but sometimes we need to just CHILL.

Think of a retrograde as an intentional brake. It’s like the universe telling you, “Hey, you’ve been doing like… a lot. That’s cool, but you’ve been moving so far forward that you’ve forgotten this, this, this and this. Please come back and clean up your fucking mess, thanks.” I said brake, not break. There are no such things as ‘breaks’ when it comes to the stars, only brakes, and Venus is truly pumping hers right now.

Why the fuck am I looking into the past when my soulmate lives in the future?

SOULMATES live in the future, but what makes them your soul mate lives in the past. Ms. Venus is trying to show you something about who your future soulmate is by forcing you to deal with all the shit those failed attempts have had you carry around since.

The topic of soulmates is a fickle one and I’m going to go ahead and blame the older generations and all their divorces. Those assholes and their total lack of commitment have created a world where your soul mate is like a mythical creature that evades you in your waking hours but comes to taunt and tease in your dreams or as a ghost that possessed all your past relationships.

This can be hard to believe, and I genuinely don’t expect you to buy a single word of it, but your soulmate does exist. We hear it time and time again and it always feels untrue. We always feel like the exception to the rule, but this is a straight up law. Maybe you’ll find them, maybe you won’t but that completely depends on you.

The best and practically only way to find your soulmate is by letting them arrive. Whether that will happen tomorrow, or next month or next year, they will arrive. That leaves you feeling a bit hopeless though, doesn’t it? There’s no certainty or specific date or place or time, because their path to you is only going to be walked if the destination is attractive. Now, that doesn’t mean you won’t find your soulmate unless you have blonde hair, blue eyes and a body that could kill a man. It means you have to raise your vibrational frequency enough to SHAKE them into your orbit.

So, now that you know there’s this mystical creature out there that ticks all your boxes and will ~complete your heart and soul~, what can you do to bring them closer? This is where Miss Venus comes in clapping.

We absolutely have to look into the past. Something that’s incredibly hard to deny, especially in our current political climate (ANOTHER TOPIC FOR ANOTHER DAY), is that history repeats itself until it no longer needs to. We will have the same event, the same story and the same conclusion over and over again unless we figure out what to change to improve it. Or worsen, in some cases. Every lesson worth learning comes from a mistake, so you have to be able to recognise both.

When we look into the past, we’re faced with not only the decisions we made but the way that we felt. We have to analyse who we let into our lives, what they did and how that made us feel in order to better understand what kind of behaviour, people and feelings will serve us best today. Perhaps those things in the past were beautiful! Maybe you didn’t make a mistake. Maybe you wish you could return to that place, but unfortunately, that simply is not the way things work. We can reflect, we can’t return, but knowing why we want to return will better prepare us for screening future partners.

In terms of your soulmate and how your past can contribute, it’s important to know that your soulmate is most likely going to be someone that ticks all the boxes you need ticked, not the ones you want ticked. This will most likely result in some uncomfortable conversations or experiences with this person, but it’s only uncomfortable because you haven’t found comfort yet. You need to remember that human beings are exactly that; human. We were born flawed and we will continue to make mistakes. When that person eventually steps into your life and blows your entire mind to smithereens, you can’t hold onto their past. You can bet they beat themselves up over their mistakes enough, and they really don’t need you giving them a reason to hit harder.

If you truly want your soulmate to step into your life and have the experience be clean and free of guilt, shame or uncertainty, you need to take advantage of this retrograde in order to discover what you actually need in a relationship, as well as what a relationship might need from you. Are there aspects of your personality that makes being close to you hard for others? Have people brought issues up with you that went unchecked? Think about who you are to the people around you and try to better that person, because how the fuck are you going to expect the mac to your cheese, the apple to your pie, the salt to your pepper when you actually ain’t shit.

You absolutely have to be your best self to attract your soulmate at their best self. Reflect on what you’ve done, who you’ve been, what you’ve felt and why, otherwise they’ll arrive and realise that you’re the same piece of garbage that broke those hearts all those years ago. You need change to attract change.

Damn. Am I actually a piece of garbage?

Yeah. We all are because it’s in our nature. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again; we were BORN to make mistakes. There’s this quote, ‘what separates the monk from the master is ten thousand mistakes’, paraphrased for convenience’s sake. This is so dead on I shouldn’t even really need to explain, but I’ll spit a couple bars.

To live freely to live without fear of making a mistake. What makes you experienced in life is fucking up and changing your behaviour pattern to get closer to not fucking up next time. Not even to nail it perfectly the next time, but to not fail in the way that you did before.

Of course, like I’ve said, it is crazy painful and difficult to look at your past and actually acknowledge your mistakes to their fullest extent, because it’s the admittance that you did the wrong thing. We never want to be doing the wrong thing, but we do it every day all day. If it were the right thing, we may as well die because we wouldn’t be learning anything.

So yes, unfortunately you are a piece of garbage, because you have and will always fuck up. But that’s where the beauty truly lies; you are a natural fuck up, so why are you afraid? You are a piece of shit but you get more and more polished every single day! We are all shit! And we should love it! We make mistakes because we are not perfect, but that is exactly what makes us perfect! The perfect human being is you. You were born perfect and you’ll die perfect, you just have to acknowledge that true perfection is undefinable, because IT IS YOU. Embrace and acknowledge your shitness in order to be a better shit tomorrow.

Now that I’ve told you how garbage you are, it’s time for you to think about why. What mistakes do you seem to make over and over again? Are there even any? What loops are occurring and how can you break them?

Quickly stepping back to the concept of history’s repetitious nature, the only way we can stop terrible things from happening is by analysing why they happened in the first place. This is possibly the hardest part of a retrograde; literally trying to decipher what happened. Figuring out something as abstract as a human relationship or even your feelings is next to impossible. Emphasis on next to. That’s why we need the retrograde to slow the absolute fuck down and really think about what happened.

The alignment and transition of the stars not only creates a theme in our own personal growth, but can manifest physical real-world experiences. You might find yourself reconnecting with people of the past, maybe even entering relationships with them. You might see yourself feeling things you felt so intensely once upon a time, or revisiting hobbies and activities from your past. Remember that things that resurface have resurfaced for a reason. This is a time to beware of falling back into a trap you once had to fight to get out of. This is where loops may begin again, and the last thing we want is to make the same mistake again. You can either make ten thousand mistakes, or ten mistakes a thousand times. One of those options is a streamline to becoming better.

If you find people from your past are returning to give you the love they once did, or things are going back to what you once found comfortable, try to remember why you left in the first place. Remember which areas they served you and analyse where they did not. Perhaps it can be different this time! For something that once failed to succeed this time around, something has to change. What can you change about yourself to avoid what happened in the past?

Now, don’t freak out and start avoiding all opportunities because you fucked it up before. That’s definitely not what I’m saying. What is important is to think about is whether this really is what you want. Was there something that made you feel the same way that is different? Did you find what you had with them with someone else? What was it about them that you loved?

Was it them or was it the way they made you feel?

That’s a heavy and confronting question, especially when it comes to admitting that your ego is what fuels many difficult decisions. I’ll talk about the specifics of ego and all the misunderstandings that come with it another time, but for now, pretend that the ego is your shadow self that is made up of all the pain or unfairness you’ve ever experienced. It’s the literal voice inside your head that is super mean and tells you what to be afraid of.

In reality, there is nothing to be afraid of. Absolutely nothing. Not death, not loss, not pain, not destruction. There is only fear itself, and that is what your ego is made up of.

This is where I want to talk about the actual concept of love itself. Loving someone doesn’t mean wanting to spend every waking minute around them, waiting for their texts, checking where they are on Snapmaps, or even wanting to die for them. It means looking at them and admiring God’s work. It’s acknowledging all the beautiful shining traits that person gifts to the world, and forgiving them entirely of all the flaws they allow to surface in their weakest moments.

To love someone is to recognise them as their best self and congratulate them on coming so far. It means being happy for someone when you know that they’re happy because they don’t deserve to feel down. When you love someone, your heart beats when theirs does. Theirs will not beat for you. It’s the giving of your time, effort, attention and care with absolutely no expectation for it to be returned. Loving is appreciation without expectation. You can’t project your expectations on someone else, because they will never live up to it. If you love them, they won’t need to meet your standard because you recognise them as perfect regardless. And they are, as are you.

So what if I thought real hard about my own bullshit and don’t know what to do?

WOW SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!!

First, you have to acknowledge that you going through shit almost definitely means there were people around you that went through shit too. You don’t spiral out of control without having collateral damage. Hurt people hurt people.

So it’s time to think about what your actions meant for someone else. It’s important here to recognise that you have absolutely no idea what is going on in someone else’s head, so you should be very aware of the thoughts that you are projecting onto them.

We are born and raised in specific and unique ways and even science can agree. There was a study conducted over the span of fifty years on twins that showed the minor differences in two experiences of life and how they can shape the individual (Polderman et al., 2018). Essentially nature versus nurture. This applies to our patterns of thinking, and you can bet your sweet ass that that person is definitely not thinking what you are, so to assume that is not only stupid but unproductive.

To avoid your projections blurring your view, you need to step up to a vantage point and think about what happened to them in accordance with what happened to you. This is called empathy! This means recognising and acknowledging someone else’s feelings and analysing your behaviour based on them. Step into their shoes and think about how you would feel if they had acted in the exact way you did. It’s very basic and you’d think it would come naturally, but unfortunately we are all morons, and this might need to be reiterated.

Recognising the way the people around you feel and how you can change that not only draws attention to what can be adjusted in your own behaviour, but also what can be adjusted in your environment. Are the people around you treating you the way you deserve to be treated? Do they make you feel loved and valued and important? Would you prefer something better? If so, why?

Reflecting on what you love and your values includes the people and things around you. If you feel you could do better, it means you can, and you should. Even though you are a piece of garbage and a major fuck up, you still deserve beautiful things. Someone loves you and that means someone agrees with me. If the people and things in your life aren’t what you strive to be or achieve, you have to find a way to fix it.

Don’t be afraid of labelling people in your life as good or bad. This can allow you to mentally map out what you do and don’t want around you. Obviously don’t tell them that you’ve labelled them good or bad, and definitely don’t treat them that way, because they are trying as hard as you are to be good. They’re trying to become better too, they just might not have the same information as you. They’re on a path and they’re struggling too, so don’t let that affect the way you treat them.

It is unhealthy to label someone as good or bad and then treat them accordingly, but it is healthy to label them and be closer to the ‘good’ ones and distance yourself from the ‘bad’ ones. Of course you don’t have to cut them out of your life, but you also need to do what’s best for you. Surrounding yourself with negative energy and negative people will only create negativity in you. If you want more positivity, surround yourself with positivity.

Surround yourself with people that have traits that you admire, or that you want to embody. Think she’s tough and you want to be tougher? Go hang out with her. Think he’s wise and you want to be wiser? Go have a conversation with him. Think they’re happier and you want to be happy too? Spend more time with them and less time trying to heal someone else’s wounds. It’s not your job to soothe someone’s pain. As much as we want to help and heal, and as much as it hurts to leave someone behind, you have to remember that you have to create the future you want, and that starts by changing the present.

Be around the people and things that make you happy. Do and feel the activities that lift your spirits and make you want to live tomorrow. Spend today in a way that reminds you this is what love songs are about. This is what being alive is about. Remember how peaceful you are when you’re living in a moment and basking in the little things. That includes words and thoughts, mind you.

What now?

Embrace yourself and your past. Embrace the people that taught you valuable lessons, and try and apply them to your current situation.

Your mistakes are not just mistakes, but learning experiences. We have to fuck up in order to know how not to fuck up next time. Forgive yourself for not knowing, for how could you have? You were younger, more naïve, more ignorant, but you aren’t now. You are able to look back and see that that was a mistake, and that is enough. You are enough.

Your soulmate is out there, and you will find them as long as you want to. Align your thoughts with what you want and the universe will provide. If you want to be happy, try and reposition yourself to think happy when you’re given every reason not to be. If you want to be in love, try and love the things that you once hated. If you want to find your soulmate, remember that you are someone else’s soulmate too, and they’re just as desperate to find you. You aren’t in each others’ lives right now because neither of you are ready. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

You have got this, and you have no reason to be afraid. The best is yet to come, you just have to want it.

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