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#just need to rant and tag rants feel safe.
uncanny-tranny · 6 months
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You're allowed to be proud of yourself for achieving things that are not seen as achievements or are seen as "just the norm."
Sometimes, the achievement is reaching where others have always been, and it isn't about being normal, but about the things you have done to achieve a goal. You can celebrate and be proud no matter how "small" a feat it is
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llaevateinn · 9 months
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trying to get my jingrenheng thoughts together like ... the possibilities that are still open to their past relationships? if blade / yingxing was a short-life species and imbibitor lunae really tried to help him achieve immortality by ?? DONATING HIS BONE MARROW / HEART ??
BRO
i had that thought like what if. WHAT IF. yingxing's white hair was because HE WAS AN OLD MAN. AGING. DYING. imagine the dynamics between yingxing and jing yuan, or yingxing and dan feng as he kept aging and aging and dying and dying and they were. staying young. pristine. at the peak of their power.
the desperation they must have felt at losing their friend. their elder? perhaps even their shixiong/shizun/shufu ??
the loss of a talent like yingxing who forged imbibitor lunae's cloud piercer and jing yuan's guandao from the reignbow arbiter's own arrow. the loss of a friend and comrade and teacher and (more).
his own determination: this can't be the end.
and then imbibitor lunae brought him to he sacred scalegorge waterscape. the holy refuge of the vidyadhara, where they kept the ambrosial arbor at bay.
the fact that blade's talent is called "shuhu's gift" and shuhu is the emanator of yaoshi, aeon of abundance.
yingxing went to the ambrosial arbor.
and everything went wrong.
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no1ryomafan · 3 months
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With more older anime I watch that’s specifically about androids the more I noticed all the influence mega man pulled from it despite it not being a anime nor the robot timeline ever getting a proper anime but I think what gets me more then “the basis of mega man is like astro boy, casshern and POSSIBLY kikaider all in a blender with mega man x making the second two inspos more apparent” is realizing how many villain characters inspired proto man.
You have the obvious one, char from Gundam, you have rock holmes from Astro boy who’s not a confirmed one but seems to track given classic takes a lot of Astro boy influence and then you have Saburo from Android kikaider, the most likely inspo for proto in EVERY category- and then you remember how while these characters are evil for a complex reason, proto man really shines to be different as he changed his ways. He’s still a rival to his “brother” in a sense but bass takes more of the role of the evil mega man, while proto just watches from afar and comes in to help when he thinks he’s needed.
I’m going to rotate this red robot fuck for awhile again FUCK
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garbage-floof · 3 months
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do yall see one of your friends being a massive jerk and doing something slightly offensive and you fucking have a verbal fight w them in your head
like, you're a great friend! but if you don't shut the fick up and listen why this is offensive then we can't even be friends anymore
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set-wingedwarrior · 3 months
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I know it's supposedly better than fighting over ships all the time, but this thing where when a ship becomes popular enough then everybody starts shipping it or share stuff about it is really getting under my skin.
How am I supposed to "curate my experience" if everyone sooner or later will start posting my notps? Who am I supposed to follow? Figuring out who is safe is getting harder, and even the ones that I trust end up disappointing me, which is even worse because I end up feeling betrayed.
This mandatory multishipping situation is a nightmare
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fish-d · 1 year
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hmm.
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tw: vent, PTSD, flashback 😩
(I’m fine just irritated and upset)
#read a post that upset but I managed to calm myself down and not be triggered#then saw a second post that caught me off guard but still managed to stay calm but now bad thoughts are amuck#saw a third and fourth post in quick succession with triggers in them#(I need to check my filters or stop using mobile bc I can’t use xkit)#I’m just gonna get off the internet and like do Duolingo or something#but it feels like my brain is floating in bad feeling soup#and like yeah! i managed to calm myself down and ground and not grt triggered or have a flashback or get drowned in awful thoughts#and that’s progress and a lot of work and my therapist would be proud!#but I’m still like 10x more exhausted than I was counting on tonight#and even if I’m not spiraling I’m still THINKING about things I don’t want to have to think about right now#but that’s the sort of thing that doesn’t go away really.#there are some topics I’ll always be stupidly sensitive to that will ruin my day upon encountering them#and these are not safe topics to be sensitive about because people love to take advantage of that sensitivity#and my ESA is over an hour away because my school makes it intentionally difficult to get approval#if anyone is reading my rant (bless you 💕) and knows how to filter words on mobile please let me know how#of course that doesn’t always help because there’s a lot of slang and allusions and images#and feel literally sick to my stomach having to ask people to tag my triggers#(I’ve had some bad experiences with asking people to accommodate my triggers recently)#and I hate doing it in the first place#i hate being in America. my PTSD has been making up for lost time since I got back from Wales.#ah whoop there it goes flashback time 🤪#(I’ll be okay I am fine I just was upset and wanted to rant but that made me more upset :/)#((gonna go suck on a jolly rancher watch Old Enough))
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insanechayne · 4 months
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~ ~ ~
#sometimes I wonder if this is worth all the trouble it’s caused me#to keep holding on to someone who seems to want to be let go#trying harder and harder to keep this friendship going but every day we break down a little more#I still have so many questions that I need answers to but I know you won’t give me that clarity#time is supposed to heal all wounds but mine have only gotten worse the longer we’ve let things last this way#I just don’t have anyone or anything that can fully replace you or what you do for me#I know you’re toxic and you used me and I have better friends in my real life and my wonderful girlfriend with me#I know I have everyone’s support but I still can’t let you go#you’ve always been my safe space and we talk every single day and I can tell you anything and I just don’t have that with anyone else#the transition process is slow and grueling and I’m not strong enough to fully see it through#part of me wishes I’d never met you because look how much we’ve hurt and ruined each other#part of me wishes I’d met you sooner so I could have had more time with you the way we used to be#I wish I had someone I could just rant all of this out to without consequence#just tell them the whole story from an outside perspective and get some help with all of this bullshit#I feel like I’m burdening my girlfriend when I talk about you#I feel like I’m annoying my friends if I’m complaining about us#I can’t talk to you because you just get upset and shut me down#I’m so messed up and confused and I don’t know what to do anymore#so I make these stupid tag posts on here that you’ll never see and just let my feelings out#because where else better to do that than on my own personal blog right#I wish I could just turn all of these emotions off and stop caring about you and distance myself until I could fully cut you off#feel like I’m just dangling from strings here like a marionette that you’re toying with#personal
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that-fic-girl · 3 months
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HAZBIN HOTEL X READER HC #1
Head canon: what it would be like to date them.
characters: Alastor, angel dust, husk, vox
disclaimer: everything i write about these characters might not be accurate to the actual story, please take everything in the fic with a grain of salt, none of this is canon!!
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Alastor
he hasnt been in an actual relationship in a while so being close and vulnerable with someone is quite hard for him, especially as someone who associates emotions with weakness.
First off, its safe to say he adores the ground you walk on. He's in love with everything about you, your clothes, the smell of your hair, your sickly sweet voice. his loves it all.
If there was ever a problem you needed fixing, a person you needed taken care of or even a errand you needed to run he would tend to it himself. he would not let you lift a finger.
PDA is a iffy thing for him, he wouldnt do grand big gestures but maybe a hand on the hip or a few words of affirmation.
everyone in the pride ring quickly learned of yours and radio demon's relationship. And no one dared to mess with you, ofcourse there was people who wanted to test their luck but they would have to pay the price later.
his love language is definitely words of affirmation, he will sweet talk the shit out of you. At night when it's just you two in bed, he will have his hands stroking through your hair whilst you rant to him about your day and he'll reply with sweet nothings
"oh darling, i've missed you all evening"
"you looked ravishing today my dear.."
"mm your hair smells amazing, my love"
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Angel Dust
Angel is one of, if not, the horniest mother fuckers out there but somehow, he manages to somewhat make a healthy relationship with someone.
you two are seen as "the bad bitch" couple. you're always out together, always getting into dumb shit together. You'll get yelled at by vaggie at early hours in the morning because the two of you where playing a childish game of tag in the hotel halls.
his love language is definitely physical touch, he'll have his arms slung around your waist almost all the time. Kisses are a MUST every 5 minutes, like this boy will NOT part from you. especially in the mornings when you have to leave for work;
"mmnnnnoooooooo...stayyy for five minutes pleasseeeee"
"but sweets..you're soooo warm"
"sweetheart please, you feel so comfy"
yeah good luck with that.
nights with him are VERY eventful, if it wasn't obvious. You two would usually be at it late hours into the night but sometimes, when you two where too exhausted to fuck like rabbits, he would be sprawled across your lap whilst you stroked his fur.
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Husk
Despite his harsh tone and uncompromising demeanor, you understood that Husk wasn't trying to be malicious towards you. It was simply his way of communicating, and you knew that his behavior wasn't personal. Even though he could be abrasive at times, you loved him for his rough edges and authentic personality
You and Husk's time together was mostly spent at the bar. You didn't like to drink much, but you loved seeing him work and make cocktails like a pro. You didn't mind that it wasn't considered a typical date, because you liked spending time with him in whatever way he felt most comfortable.
Husk is not used to receiving compliments, as he didn't often receive them in his past life. When you complimented him, it caught him off guard and he was surprised. But he eventually learned to appreciate it, and it even made him feel a little sentimental.
Despite the difficulty, you were able to help Husk realize that you genuinely cared about him. He had been used to being surrounded by dishonesty and hypocrisy, but you were always sincere and real. He held you in high regard, as you were the only source of light in his life, and he didn't want to lose you.
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vox
You were known as a strong and independent person who didn't need assistance from others. You knew how to stand up for yourself, despite being harsh and tough at times. Despite your exterior, no one was aware of the soft spot in your heart that Vox's affection and touch alone could melt away your severity.
He appreciated seeing your affectionate side, as it felt special and intimate, like a shared secret between the two of you. He knew you valued your privacy, and he respected it by never sharing photos or other details on social media. He didn't want to betray your trust.
You were often feared and respected when you were with Vox. People found it hard to believe that someone as intimidating as yourself could have a tender, caring side that was kept hidden from most. Vox was glad that he was the only one who got to see that side of you. He didn't want to share something so special and personal with anyone else.
Quite often, he would call you on the phone, knowing that sweet words could be just as effective as a kiss. He enjoyed hearing how your voice softened from its usual seriousness to a more affectionate tone. He was aware that when he said loving phrases to you, you would blush and smile shyly, and sometimes he even regretted not being able to witness it in person.
"i've missed you today babe.."
"mhm look at my pretty girl/boy!"
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boomerang109 · 1 year
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preparing for therapy when you had a depressive episode the day before but you’re normal again is like “hmm how do i explain that yesterday there was no reason to live but like today im good and fine and hopeful again” lmao
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fangirl-dot-com · 22 days
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🐍 Track 2 - . . . Ready for It?
TAG LIST IS CLOSED
I'm sorry to the ones I couldn't tag. If you do want notifications for when I post, there's always that option as well!
Logan had a new phone. And for the first time in a while, it felt nice to just be disconnected from the world for a bit. The people who truly mattered had his phone number. His Instagram had been wiped, along with every other social media. The American had gone dark. 
And apparently you had done the same thing. 
His parents and brother knew where he would be, just in case for emergencies. However, he asked them to not text much. He needed time away, well, away from the current grid. It hurt him, seeing how supportive everyone was with Theo. No one had ever congratulated him when he first got signed. Hell, even Oscar hadn’t known right away, claiming he had forgotten. 
Of course, he had given you his new number because you’d be the only person he previously knew that he’d still be in contact with. You also gave Logan you’re new number, having similar ideas to your friend. 
Well, he had given George his new number. The Briton had texted his old number in a panic-like manner when Logan deactivated everything. Under a temporary contract, Logan wasn’t legally allowed to tell George anything except that he was safe and needed time away. 
The brunet was not happy with that, but he let Logan know that if he needed anything, he would come running. A bit of happiness let itself seep into Logan’s heart, thankful for the Mercedes driver’s friendship. 
When he had read the email after the social media posts went up, his mind blanked. 
What did Andretti want with him? A washed-out jobless nobody. He believes they should have been looking at someone like Carlos or even Ollie, who was making good times in F2 car. It had to be anyone but him. 
So why was it him? 
He had been about to call you when you had first facetimed him on his laptop. He couldn’t even get words about before you started screeching. Logan chuckled as you went on a rant, as this could be their big break. His silence had given you a look into how he was truly feeling. 
Your voice had quieted down on the device. 
“You’re going to take the offer right?” 
Logan winced at your tone, which gave you the information you needed. You rolled your eyes as you sat on your bed. 
“Logan, we were just dropped by two teams that didn’t even want us. They pushed us away like we were nothing. And now, there’s a team with top potential that truly wants us, and you don’t want to take the opportunity?” 
The American boy sighed. You had a point. 
“I’m just scared that I’m going to get there, and then make a fool out of myself. Then Michael is going to see how truly bad of a driver I am,” he hugged out. 
You could hear the fear in his voice, and it devastated you. Where did your confident and smiley boy go? Williams would pay for it, one way or another. 
You were hesitant to say something. 
“Logan, even if our times aren’t what we’re wanting at first, Michael said that we will get better. He’s sent my manager some data and it looks like we are scarily similar with our driving styles. Logan, the car is going to be made for us. Michael made sure that I knew that we’d have a chance, because I’m not driving if you’re not. Together or nothing, we come as a package.” 
Logan sat up quickly off his bed. He glared at you through his laptop.
“You did not just quote Charles Leclerc to me.” 
“And what if I did?”  
“No, you can’t give this offer up if I don’t drive.” 
You glared back at him, although you had a smile. 
“It’s either both of us, or none of us. I’m tired of never seeing you, and you need a friend you can count on. I’m sorry to say but Oscar has done a very shit job of being your friend. I’d say that George is a better friend than him.” 
Logan sighed. “No, you’re right. It’s just hard to accept that.” 
Your smile dropped a bit. 
“Logan, he was supposed to be your friend and then he dropped you. Everyone had dropped you so many times and you’ve been the one to pick yourself back up. But now, you’ve been dropped a final time, yet someone wants to be the first to help you back up, to clean your wounds, and to heal you. And now you don’t even want that?” 
You had a point. 
Like always. 
“Your words never seem to fail me woman.” 
“That’s because men are the inferior being.” 
Logan snorted. 
“Will I see you in Milan next week?” you asked with hopeful eyes. Logan could see the glimmer that shined in them. He didn’t want to be the person to damped that. 
“I will see you in Milan.” 
The first thing that popped into Logan’s mind when he got to the base was “Holy Shit.” 
The building was massive as he walked through the giant doors. He really thought that this was a movie set with how grand it was. Surely this couldn’t it? Maybe he had the wrong address. 
“Mr. Sargeant?” 
Or maybe he did. His body turned to the lady standing near the front desk. He showed a smile that was definitely a tad too wide and showed too many teeth. Thankfully the lady didn’t show any malice as she sweetly grinned at the blond. 
“Yes ma’am. That’s me.” 
Always the good southern-hospitality manners with him. 
“I’m glad you could make it. If you’d follow me, Michael is waiting in his office for you.” 
Logan breathed a sigh of relief when he finally knew that he didn’t have to circumnavigate the entirety of the building. 
The air was fresh as he walked behind the lady, who he now knew as Marissa Andretti, Michael’s sister and Head of Directors. Her own American accent was like a comforting blanket to Logan. Gosh, did he miss hearing a familiar voice to his own during 2023. 
The one voice he couldn’t wait to hear was your own. He knew he’d be safe once he heard the lisps of a Southern draw when you talked. The slurred vowels and the biting consonants would be music to his ears. 
“How have you liked the simulator and the data so far?” Marissa asked as she led Logan down yet another hallway. How big was this building and were they leading him to his death? 
Yet, despite his concerns, Logan was very happy with the results. 
“The car is already so fast. It’s like it’s just an extension of me instead of working against me. It feels so right.” 
Technically, Logan had been on the first plane to Milan to start testing, as his own anxiety wouldn’t let him wait until the week was up. You had your own simulator back in the States, so you did your testing there. Logan had been back in London when the email came, and his set up was not going to function with the high tech that Andretti needed. 
Marissa smiled over her shoulder. “Good, that is exactly what we are wanting to hear.” 
Finally, she stopped in front of a door that had a giant-ass A on the front. Logan wanted to laugh at the cinematics. Surely, this was a movie and he was going to be the main character. Marissa pushed a button and the door slowly swung open. 
Logan’s smile grew once he saw you in one of the very plush seats in front of the desk. You immediately stood up and jumped into his arms. He breathed deeply and all weight slowly melted from his body. It had been so long since he had gotten to hug you, hold you, feel you. 
When you pulled away, you had a blinding smile on your face. 
“Glad to see you here Logs.” 
His nose scrunched at the old nickname. 
“I don’t think you’ve called me that since we were 12, Y/n.” 
You huffed. 
“Fine, no nickname for you.” 
“I take it back. I ban you from calling me Logan.” 
“Isn’t that your name?” 
“No?” 
“Logs!” 
“Ah there it is!” 
A cough signaled to Logan that they weren’t actually alone. He sheepishly turned around to face the man who, hopefully after this meeting, would be his boss for a couple of years. Logan turned his full body towards the desk and stepped with his hand outstretched. 
Michael had a knowing smile as he shook Logan’s hand. 
“I am so sorry sir, I didn’t even realize that you were already here, and I haven’t seen her in a while, and it’s so good to just here the accents because the grid is entirely too European and Asian, sometimes I couldn’t even understand them, and…” 
Michael put his hands on Logan’s shoulders. 
“It’s just fine kid. I totally get you.” 
Logan visibly relaxed under Michael’s hands. 
“Now, why don’t you sit down and we can start talking contracts.” 
Logan lit up at the word. 
“Contracts?”
You gave him a smirk. 
“Yes Logs, contracts.” 
Logan felt as though he couldn’t breathe. But this time, it was with excitement and not dread. His butt quickly found the seat next to yours. Marissa left the room with promises of coming back with celebratory drinks. 
Michael pulled out two small stacks of paper before he started speaking. 
“So, I’ve talked with both of your managers and we’ve come up with a contract. You two can look over it as I read the big details. The finer print is stuff that you both have already previously gone over, but you are still encouraged to look over it one final time.”
You and Logan had the same exact papers. 
In the initial emailing process, the two of you had voiced that you were a packaged deal. Logan was surprised to see that Michael had said that he wouldn’t want it any other way and was glad to possibly not have to deal with drivers hating each other. Logan thought anything would be better than Brocedes 2016. 
You looked down at the words as Michael read them out loud. 
“Ok, so in the contract, the two of you will be signed until 2027. There is an exit clause in section C, but we are not allowed to terminate prior to 2027. The two of you will be granted ambassadorship with whatever sponsors we’ve received. The sponsorships are in section E and it gives a rundown of each one and what they will be contributing to the team. 
“Per secrecy of wanting to keep the identities secret until we reach the grid for testing, the two of you will go under pseudonyms.” 
You raised an eyebrow. 
“Like a call sign?” 
Marissa flashed a wicked grin. 
“Exactly like a call sign.” 
You continued, “Do we get to come up with them?” 
Michael clasped his hands. “So we thought that Y/n could go by Phoenix and then Logan would go Venus.” 
Your eyes widened as you took in the name. Wasn’t too bad, you thought. 
Logan let out a sigh of relief. “At least it’s not like Eagle or something. That would be super obvious.” 
The boss-man chuckled before he looked back down at the contract. 
“Since the two of you did not specify a salary, we took the liberty to come up with one ourselves. But please feel free to mention what you’d like and we can always raise it. We also liked to put in that for every point scored, the two of you get a bonus as a little incentive. The salary will not be dropped no matter if points are scored or not. Think of it as a baseline.” 
Michael chuckled as he watched yours and Logan’s eyes drastically widen at the sight of the eight digits before the decimal. Logan gulped at the sight. 
“Michael, I think you added too many zeros.” 
“I think I didn’t add enough.” 
Logan couldn’t respond. 
You looked up from the paper to Michael. “I think it’s high enough.” 
The goateed-man smiled back at you and continued. 
“I’ve seen the skills parts on your resumes and thankfully the two of you do not need to learn Italian from scratch. I don’t even know when the two of you had time to learn it, but thankfully it is not required in meetings or in the garage.” 
Logan smirked as he looked at the words. 
“What’s the fun in that? We can have secret conversations with ourselves.” 
You tapped his shoulder. 
“Except Ferrari will know and maybe Lewis.” 
“I’ll have my Duolingo account at the ready.” 
Michael watched as the two of you pored over the papers and bickered like an old married couple. He and Marissa already had a bet going to see when the two of you would get together. But, you didn’t need to know that.
“I digress. You can speak in Italian if you want to. The next couple of sections are just PR related. The two of you wanted to bring you own teams in, which is fine. I’ve sent emails and meeting times to each of them and have been replied to. All is in motion. Logan, you mentioned something to me once about your personal trainer leaving?” 
A sigh left his lips at the mention of Benny. He really didn’t want anyone else. He slowly nodded. 
“He had to leave to be with his family. Williams wasn’t the most accommodating and he was told that he had to be at every race. Normally I didn’t even need him until race day. He’d miss so much time with his family because of traveling and things like that.” 
“Well, I think we have you covered.” 
Logan looked back down at the paper. A small gasp left his lips. 
Ben Jacobs was written in black ink under “Personal Trainer.” 
“How?” 
Michael smiled. 
“It took some convincing, but he said he’d come back for you. Of course, Ben will be highly compensated to return after he said he wouldn’t. His family will also be accommodated for any race that they’d like to attend and Ben can show up however late he needs. His leave will also be paid time as well.” 
Logan could kiss the man if he could. Tears pooled in his eyes and he could only manage a small thank you. Your hand rested on his shoulder in comfort. He just couldn’t wait to see him again. 
“Looks like that is everything. Are you two ready to sign?” 
Yours and Logan’s heads nodded eagerly as pens were uncapped. There was light scratching for a few moments as you filled out the needed information on the multiple sheets of paper. Once everything was completed, you let out a sigh of relief. You and Logan could finally do this. 
Marissa showed up at the right moments with a few different beverages. You took one of the iced americanos, claiming that Italian espresso was, in fact, the best kind. Logan surprised you as he took a mimosa. 
He side-eyed you. 
“It’s freshly squeezed orange juice and you cannot go wrong with it. It’s a classic.”
You held you drink up and your other hand in mock surrender. 
Michael took a black coffee and sipped it. 
“Now, onto the fun stuff.” 
Your eyebrows pinched. “Fun stuff?” 
Michael smirked before pulling up a projector that was attached to his laptop. He started to click through the slides. 
“First, the car.” 
On the slide was a sleek yellow and black livery. The black really highlighted the tamer yellow. 
Michael pointed at it. 
“This is our 2024 livery. We designed it awhile back, but it’s finally going to be used.” 
You let out a whistle as a video played the engine noise. To you, it sounded fast. You had been able to do a few laps with an actual car to get the feel of it since IndyCar were so much different. Michael claimed though that you were a natural in the car, being able to command it to what you needed it to do. Logan was quite the same. 
The next slide showed multiple models of Lamborghinis. With it came a smirk from the sister and brother pair. 
Logan looked at them. 
“I don’t know whether to be excited about the smirks or nervous.” 
Marissa was the one to pull up something on her personal iPad. She showed the official Lamborghini website. 
“Because the two of you will now technically ambassadors for Lambo as well, you two need to pick out what models the two of you would like to own. For now, we can start with one, but Tonino wanted his drivers to start a small collection.” 
You made her pause. 
“Tonino, as in, Tonino Lamborghini?” 
Marissa sent a gentle smile to calm you down. 
“Yes. Mr. Tonino will be at quite a few races to watch. He has mentioned wanting to see Ferrari fail, but our data is saying that although we look promising, there’s not guarantee.” 
Logan exhaled sharply. 
“No pressure right?” 
Michael leaned forward over the desk. 
“Listen to me Logan. You have been with a team that has now destroyed every bit of self-confidence. Mr. Tonino is actually the one who put your name on my radar. If you’re good enough for him, you need to believe that you’re good enough for everyone else.” 
Logan was taken back. Mr. Tonino was the one to bring him up? He felt honored in a good way. A nod of his head let Michael and Marissa know that they could continue. Logan turned your way, only to find you already smiling at him. He hoped that he could always be on the receiving end of that smile. 
Marissa continued where she left off. 
“Just look over the models and customize it however you’d like. We’ll get it sent to the factory to be made in time for the first race in Bahrain. These cars will be shipped along with our supplies so you can always have them.” 
You smirked. “I’ve always wanted a black Lamborghini Aventador.” 
Logan turned to Marissa. “I’d love a black Lamborghini Huracan.” 
A smile grew on your face. “Aw, Logan. We’ll get matching Lambos.” 
Logan thought that if you had been an emoji, you’d be the one with the big teary eyes and a pout. Marissa looked pleased at the requests for the different models. 
You raised your hand. “Do we need to start looking for places to stay here in Milan?” 
Michael lifted his eyebrows. 
“You don’t actually. Between races, the two of you are more than welcome to either go home or adventure somewhere. We will let you know when it is crucial to come back here to do some testing. Housing is provided when you need to be here. There are multiple estates that can be used on bought property.” 
You and Logan definitely liked the sound of that. Maybe you could stay in close villas or something. Or maybe in the same place as you tended to get lonely. That’s what being pushed out of everything does to someone in a year. You can’t remember the last time that you were invited to do something with the team, always retreating to your small hotel room after a race. You feel as though Logan might feel the same. 
Michael moved to the next slide, showing the race suits. 
“These are the suits for the season. Black or white fireproofs will go well with them. Helmets are up to the two of you. You will need on standard for some races and then you can choose what races you want fun ones to be. Miami, Austin, Las Vegas, and Imola are going to be considered our home races.” 
“What about Monza?” Logan questioned. 
Michael had a glint in his eyes. 
“That will forever belong to the Tifosi I’m afraid.” 
You decided to pipe up. 
“Or Charles Leclerc. I feel like wherever he goes, the Tifosi goes with him. You make him trade teams, the Italians will follow him.” 
Logan shot you a teasing look. 
“You always have to bring him up in one way or another.” 
You shrugged. 
“He’s a good driver. Let’s not bring up that you’re such a fanboy for Max Verstappen of all people.” 
Logan’s torso shifted. 
“It’s not every day that one beats Sir Lewis Hamilton and take away his 8th championship!” 
Laughs erupted from Michael and Marissa, making you and Logan pause. You cleared your throat. 
“Sorry, please continue.” 
Michael went a bit further with the slides, going over compatible data to the car. He went over sponsors and things like that before he finally leaned back into his chair. 
“Are we able to drive the cars today?” 
Much like you were, Logan was itching to be back behind the wheel. And hopefully, the wheel belonged to a reliable car. 
Michael stood from where he sat, making you and Logan also rise to your feet. 
“I’d thought you’d never ask,” he said, making his way to the door. When the two of you didn’t follow, he turned back around. 
“Are you ready for it?” 
lamborghini_racing has posted
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Lamborghini_racing Are you ready for it?
liked by y/n.nation, logang2, box_box_express, and 4,205,095 others
l4mbo.child a hello or how are you doing WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE
f1_fan I fear they have gagged the entire grid with this
ferrariforza damn, I thought we had the best livery - sorry kings 👑
lambo_drivers all I'm asking is who is going to be driving this beast?
lo-girlies do I even utter his name in fear that it might not happen?
y/nfan or even utter her name?
thepaddock_person who 🤨
childofF1 I'll say it - LOGAN AND Y/N FOR LAMBO 2024
box_box_express the paint, the yellow, the black, the lighting, THE EVERYTHING
taylorswiftxf1 I see the admin is a Taylor fan??
phoenix95 has posted
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phoenix95 baby let the games begin
liked by venus2, Lamborghini_racing, y/n.nation, dior, and 2,195,086 others
4theF1_girlies EXCUSE MEEEEEEE
driver95 ayo - we got the Lightning McQueen number with a queen
lambo_duo oh gosh I hope I live to see the day that they reveal their drivers
venus2 looking snazzy 😎
phoenix95 no one ever says that anymore
venus2 🥺
phoenix95 fine...thank you
venus2 🥰
venusxphoenix WHOEVER THEY ARE - THEY HAVE MY HEART
rising_phoenix95 immediate fan
lambo_child the Aventador is such a slay 💅
lambof1 I wonder if they have like matching cars with their contracts
venus2 has posted
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venus2 let the games begin now
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lambof1 I THINK I CALLED IT?? THE MATCHING BLACK CARS
pitstop_nightmare I'M SORRY FERRARI BUT THIS IS TOO SEXY
lamborghinivsferrari THE HURACAN 🥵😱
c16_leclerc I'm guessing they went to Charles's school of serving cunt
hamilton44lewis and graduated with a degree in slay
phoenix95 that's sexy baby
venus2 thanks 😚
phoenix95 ...I was talking about the car?
venus2 sure...sure you were 😈
box_box_express I feel like I have some sleuthing to do - hold please
logansarg2 I miss Logan so much - it's heartbreaking to see all of his accounts go dark, I guess I'll have to stan this dude instead
y/n.nation I miss our girl so much
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sprainedwriting · 20 days
Text
Softness within.
Adam x fem!reader
Part 1
CW/TW/Tags: Porn, Car sex, Semi Public, P in V, TW: Adam, COLLEGE AU!!!!, oral fem receiving, tell me if I missed smth, I wrote this at 2 am help me, breeding kink, pregnancy mention
Summary: Adam is either very charismatic or you don’t have a spine.
Adam ended up driving you home, after you punched in your address in his navigation system it didn’t take long for you to pass out. Shaking you awake, you scrambled out of Adam’s car, but sadly you weren’t fast enough since you still had to listen to Adam rant to you about the shit hole of a neighbourhood you live in.
He didn’t drive off till you safely entered your building.
Once you got home you didn’t even have the energy to get undressed, you barley took off your shoes and you were already in your bed. Pros of having a one bedroom apartment: the way to the bed is very short.
When you woke up everything felt like a fever dream. It felt so unreal, you were sure it was a weird sex dream coming up because of your repressed consciousness or whatever. You quickly threw away this theory, once you got into the shower. Ew. Having cold cum run down your thighs was not it.
Right so that happened. For real. Totally couldn’t potentially ruin your social life. That’s cool.
Checking your phone, you found texts messages from your friends. Since you all share locations they were happy to see you home after disappearing. Some kidnap jokes were made. You didn’t bother responding.
And just like that your life continued and you tried not to think of Adam anymore. Since you aren’t in the same friend group, don’t study the same subjects, and you’re just a master of avoiding awkward situations you didn’t see him the past 2 weeks. During these 2 weeks Adam found your insta, snapchat AND your phone number. In that order. At this point you wouldn’t be surprised if he found your secret AO3 account or something and started to spam you full with comments.
Him actually actively looking for you made you feel some type of way….and once those thoughts reached you, you basically slapped yourself. You have always sucked at responding to messages, your friends just call you when they need you. You didn’t even properly read Adam’s messages, leaving him on delivered. These messages caused you so much anxiety, that you immediately swiped them away in your notifications field when you saw them pop up.
Another thing you were worried about was that your period was 2 days late, which isn’t a lot considering you took Plan B and it messes with your hormones but it still had you on edge so bad. You ended up buying a pregnancy test, which you didn’t end up needing. Thank god.
The last weekend party you skipped. Sitting at home and catching up with work was how you spend your weekend. And once you saw everyone post the party on their stories and the messages in your group chats, your FOMO kicked in so hard that you had to attend the next one. So, here you were leaning against a wall with some cheap soda in your hand, because you don’t drink since you’re boring. And like always when you’re at a party, you realised you didn’t actually miss out on much.
If you could, you would scroll away at your phone. What’s stopping you? Easy:
Adam starring at you from across the room. Tots not uncomfortable. Starring at your phone now would be like throwing a rock at an sleeping ice bear. Since you basically ignored him for 2 weeks straight. You really know how stand in your own way. Some part of your brain told you not to provoke him too much.
Ok you were just going to run away this is ridiculous. Taking a good look around on how you could escape (your friends were going to murder you for disappearing AGAIN) you jumped nearly 10 feet into the air when you felt big hands on your hips and a body pressed against your back. The only logical reaction to this was to step on the guys foot and throw your drink at his face.
“Ow! What the fuck, you crazy bitch?” Adam yelled.
How the fuck was he able to get to you that fast? Without you noticing?? He’s so big what??
“Jesus, dude! You can’t sneak up on a girl like that!” You yelled back.
Thankfully not many eyes were on you guys, and the music was loud so people yelling to communicate wasn’t unusual.
Adam whipped the soda of his face, looking pissed. Thankfully there wasn’t much left in your cup anyways, the top part of his band shirt was only slightly soaked. Act cool, act casual. Crossing your arms over your chest you looked at him expectantly.
Even though he looked mad a second ago, taking in the sight of you seemed to cheer him right back up. Maybe it’s because of your short skirt.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear, “Wanna get out off here?” Shit. Goosebumps from excitement crawled all over your skin. He smelled like the sweet soda, but also like deep cologne. Ah, you’re so so weak.
“Always.” The words left your lips before you could truly think about it.
Adam smirked down at you, placing a hand at the small of your back he started to lead you out of the house party.
That’s how you ended up in Adam’s car, while he zipped around town, trying to find a secluded place, his hand was up your skirt massaging messy circles into your clothed pussy. You on the other hand were spreading your legs further apart, trying and failing to muffle your moans. Even though it was at most 2 minutes, it felt like it took Adam hours to park the car. You clawed at his wrist, trying to get more stimulation out of him.
He reached a hand under his seat, sliding it back from the wheel as far as possible, while also reclining the back of the seat.
“Holy shit, babe.” Adam mumbled out, he reached across to grasp your ass with both his hands hoisting you up and successfully into his lap. Once you sat down on his lap you could feel his bulge right under your pussy. You gave it an experimental roll of your hips. Adam bit his lower lip, his hand flew to your hips, helping you grind down on him.
Grasping at his shoulders, you smashed your own lips into his, trying to steal his breath. Fucking hell, you don’t think you have ever carnally desired anyone as much as him. Adam was still grinding your cunt unto his dick by your hips while he explored your mouth with his tongue freely.
Once the kiss stopped so you could breathe, Adam took the opportunity to rip your tights apart, to have better access towards your private parts.
“Man! Why did you do that? You better buy me new ones, asshole.” You told him frustrated.
“Chillax, baby, I will buy you even better ones if it means you let me hit.” Fucker.
Adam pushed your wet panties to the side, gently easing in a finger, “So tell me. Who else did you fuck after me?” His words were anything but gentle.
“Shit..No one. I..I swear, Adam.” You spoke through gasps. His thumb started to stroke your clit.
With his other hand Adam roughly grasped your jaw into his hand, starring into you with his golden eyes. They reminded you of that of a hawk. He didn’t look too convinced.
“Please, Adam, only you can make me cum.” You whimpered out.
Adam grinned at you at your words, “Ain’t that the truth. You better start answering your fucking messages then, slut.” Another finger was entered into your hole, he curled them upwards, hitting sensitive spots which made you moan shamelessly.
“Bad…at replying.” You mumbled out.
Adam rolled his eyes at you, “Yeah, right, give me a better excuse and I might let you cum.”
It’s not a bad excuse, it’s your reality. Even though your screentime was embarrassingly high, messages were your personal final boss. Using both your hands to run them down the sides of your thighs, your right hand met the pocket garter you wear when you’re wearing a skirt, or dress. Pulling out your phone with one brain cell intact is one thing, but unlocking it is a whole other. Pulling up the messages app, shoved the device into his face. He can read. You think. You hope.
Once he stopped grasping at your jaw so roughly, you massaged the tense muscles. Adam scrolled through your chats, he looked very interested. You caught the glimpse of a chat from last year. Yikes.
Laying your head against his shoulder, you started kissing at his neck. You still had fucking hickeys and bite marks from him! Asshole. Adam left your messages app and was investigating your social media now. He looked through your phone like a man on a mission. If you had at least half your mind you would have already stopped him. But the happier he was at your innocence the more intensely he did rub circles into your clit, turning you to mush.
Throwing your phone on the passenger seat- if it bounces off and breaks or gets lost you were going to kill him- Adam placed a hand at the back of your head, starting another forceful kiss. While your tongues were busy, Adam eased the third finger into you. He pumped them in and out of you, testing the resistance. Taking him unprepared would be a really stupid idea.
With a well placed tug of your hair, Adam pulled you slightly away from him, “It’s fucking hot babe, how you ignore other people. Really. But shit, I need you to answer my fucking messages. I’m not like those other fucking clowns you keep around. Got it?” You quickly nodded your head at him, whatever gets him inside of you.
Slowly pulling out his fingers out of you, one by one, he licked a strip up his fingers while looking into your eyes. He pulled down his jeans zippers, pulling out his leaking dick. He gave himself a few good pumps with his soiled hand. Is he not wearing any underwear?? Yikes.
“Now, sit down on my fucking dick.” Adam smirked at you.
A moment of clarity hit you when you remembered the unused pregnancy test you have hidden away.
“Wait! Do you have a condom?” You looked hopefully at Adam.
He looked at you like you just ruined Christmas, easter and his birthday all at once, “What the fuck do we need that for?”
“I’m not interested in pregnancy. Today is not safe.” You told him, you tried to sound stern.
“You would look hot as fuck though, with swollen tits and a swollen stomach. You sure you don’t want me to cream you while you’re ovulating? Besides, it went well last time, didn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow at you. The gold piercing was reflecting the light of the street lamp outside.
His hand were rubbing at your hips, wandering further up till he helped you take off your sweater. You didn’t bother wearing anything under it because bras suck. He smiled at the sight of your bare chest as if he just won the lottery. He really was moody.
“I’m serious! I bought a fucking pregnancy test, I was so stressed last time.” Adam didn’t even bother looking into your eyes again, his huge hand pulling and rubbing at your nipples and chest. You had to bit your lip to keep from moaning. You had to be strong, at least once. You also really needed to finish this degree without getting pregnant.
“See babe? That’s what you need my number for. So you can fucking tell me that shit.” Adam made brief eye contact with you, before he leaned forward and started sucking at your nipple. His teeth carefully bit down. Your hands tangled themselves up in Adam’s hair. Because Adam pulled you forward for easier reach, your pussy ended up rubbing across Adam’s length. The groan which left his lips made your tit vibrate deliciously.
He really knows how to play you. With his hands he grasped your ass, massaging it before he dragged you across his dick. Your clit caught at his dick piercing, causing you to call out for Adam.
And if you had half a mind, you would simply open up the car door and climb out, to really make your point clear. And Adam would drag you back in, while complaining and get a condom somewhere (hopefully). But the risk of him actually letting you leave was not something you wanted. You just really needed to have him fill you up.
Tugging at his hair, he removed his mouth from your boob. He smiled at you, “Finally ready to get dicked down, baby?” Adam asked you in that arrogant tone of his.
Your own hands wandered across Adam’s chest, till you finally tugged at the bottom of his shirt, trying to take it off. Adam slightly sat up, removing his shirt and throwing it on the passenger seat. Fully taking in his tan olive skin, you realised just how hot he truly is. There was a scar across his right ribcage, his nipple piercing just made him 100 times more attractive, his ample stomach made you want to straight up cannibalise him while his happy trail made your mouth water. What a man.
Grasping his cheeks into your hands, you tilted his head up so he could properly look at you. Your thumb grazed over his lips, “Adam, sweetie..” You cooed down at him. You felt his dick twitch under you, “Don’t you want me to ride you till you’re sucked dry? I can only do that if you get a condom. C’mon…” His eyes were starring into your own.
Adam grasped your wrists into his hand, removing your hands from his cheeks. His face didn’t show any ounce of emotion. Ah, maybe that was the wrong move. Before regret could fully set in, Adam started swearing under his breath. He leaned forward suddenly, a surprised gasp leaving your mouth, while he rummaged through the glove department. Successfully he pulled out a condom, while probably also cursing you.
He leaned his back properly against the seat, ripping open the condom package with his teeth. Adam then glided the condom on his dick, after you scooted back to give him some space. Once he made sure everything was secured, you leaned forward to kiss him again. His hands were grasping your hips, his fingers digging into the plushy flesh.
Once the kiss stopped, you grasped Adam’s dick, lining it up with your pussy.
During your two week Adam break, you really told yourself that that would be a one time thing. That next time you would say no to him. That you don’t really need him or his attention and touch and whatever else he can give you. Well, you’re also a big fat liar so there is that.
Placing your own hand on Adam’s hand, you tugged it off to intervene your finger. Biting down at your lip you slowly glided down on Adam’s dick. Your other hand was placed on his shoulder, nails digged into this skin.
Slowly sliding down on him, your mouth fell open at the stretch. Adams eyes were focused on your pussy swallowing him whole, “You take me so well.” He groaned out.
Once you were fully sat down on Adam’s cock, you panted in the stuffy air. Taking a glance to your right, you saw the windows were all fogged up. At least you have the illusion of privacy.
Adam’s hand moved from your hip to your ass, grabbing at the fat and massaging it. He slowly rocked your hips back and forth with that movement. His other hand squeezed your intervened fingers, he then pulled your hand towards his mouth. Kissing your finger tips while looking into your eyes.
Ah. Why does everything he do make your head spin? Did he do fucking witchcraft or something on you??
Grasping with your hands both his shoulders, you started rocking your hips back and forth. First at an slow and careful speed, but then you started going faster. Till you started going properly up and down on him. Adam’s hand went to your tit, fondling and pinching, while his other hand moved from the back of your neck towards the top of your head. You stopped questioning Adam’s behaviour a while ago.
“If I knew you looked so hot on top, I would have let you ride me immediately last time.” Adam told you, his eyes were jumping all across your body, it seemed like he couldn’t decide where he wanted to look, “But damn, babe, we really need to get you on birth control.”
“S’expensive.” You mumbled out.
Your forehead meet his neck. Maybe you should exercise more, the burn in your thighs was getting intense.
“..You getting tired there, baby?” A breathy chuckle left his lips.
Adam forced your movements to stop, to sit down properly with his hand moving to your hip. He smirked at you, probably knowing he was going to give you another unforgettable experience. Why couldn’t he have been average in everything he does? Noooo, he had to blow your mind away. Damn him and his solid experience.
Adam started thrusting up into you. First at a slow and deep pace. getting you used to the sensation, then he went faster and faster. His piercing scrapped against a sensitive spot in you.
“Right there!” You gasped into his neck, you then started to kiss and suck at his skin. Leaving your own mark. His one hand was still on top of your head, massaging your scalp and playing with your hair.
Thankfully Adam is decent at following orders, he kept up his pace, hitting the spot over and over. You could feel an orgasm approaching. You were probably straight up moaning against Adam’s ear, but he doesn’t seem to complain.
“I can promise you, baby, ‘m gonna get you whatever you want as long as ya going to be my lovely cum dump.” He mumbled out.
Woah orgasms and meaningless consumption??? Your two favourite things!
All you could muster was a whine. Because that was a big commitment. Maybe you’re going to ghost him again. An extra rough thrust made you see stars, and the ghosting idea left your mind and maybe you should marry him and be a housewife and give him as many children as he wants.
You threw your head back at the feeling of overwhelming pleasure and- ah, that’s why he had his hand on top of your head, when you slightly crashed your head into the car roof. It was more shock than anything else, but it still scared the orgasm out of you. Damn it.
Adam stopped his movement’s, his brows were furrowed at your scrunched up face. His hand rubbed at your head in concern, “You good?”
You nodded your head at him, looking into his eyes with your own teary ones, “..I lost my orgasm.” You mumbled out in the most pathetic voice imaginable. To your own defence, it is the worst thing to happen to you today.
Adam looked at you with a blank look for a split second, before laughing at you. You hid your own face behind your hands, embarrassment cursed through your veins. You’re stupid. Why did you say that?
With the way Adam was laughing at you, you felt his dick jump inside of you, which in turn made you clench around him. Adam grasped your wrists into his hand, yanking them down and he smiled at you like a wolf.
“Well..Who am I to say no to my favourite slut? You want to cum? I’m going to make you cum.”
Why is he so hot!!!! You were going to smash your head again into the car roof.
You already thought his pace before was intense. Now? It was brutal. The scraping of his piercing, his hands on your hips and ass, his dick stretching you apart, his stubble rubbing against your soft skin. His constant fucking talking.
“Ugh, babe, you got such a tight cunt. Squeezing me. And you say you don’t want me to cum inside? Ha. Yeah, right.” Adam started rocking your hips back and forth, your clit was rubbing against his jeans.
“‘M more surprised you haven’t got anyone pregnant with that raging breeding kink of yours.” You whimpered into his ear, then you bit into his ear lobe. That was more to be annoying than sexy, but with the way he groaned and his dick twitched inside of you it seemed like it had the opposite effect.
You really would have missed his words, if you weren’t paying attention enough,
“You the only one I wanna get pregnant. Those other whores don’t deserve to have my cum.”
Why do you feel flattered….Something is really, deeply off about you. You need to up your medication.
It felt like hot flames were pooling in your lower stomach, you felt intense, near painful tingles on your clit and thanks to Adam’s constant rhythm of your clit rubbing against the rough fabric of his jeans it wasn’t a surprise that an orgasm washed over you. Your nails dug into Adam’s biceps while you squeezed around his cock.
“Fucking hell, you wanna milk me dry, huh?” Adam groaned, and with a few hip thrust of his own he came. You kinda missed the feeling of his hot cum shooting into you, but you would take that knowledge to your grave.
You rested your face into the crook of Adam’s neck, trying to regulate your breathing. Your legs felt like jelly. Adam was also breathing heavily, his hands rubbed up and down on your back. He stayed inside of you.
Realistically you knew that he had to pull out, to keep the contraceptive working but on the other hand..You just wanted to stay like that. Having Adam not talk for once was a relaxing change. And having his big warm hands on your back, which was starting to cool down, was just pure bliss.
“..You know, we could always do the pull out method.” He mured into your ear, trying to sound seductive.
You couldn’t help but snort at his words, “Yeah, sure, look me in the eyes and tell me you could pull out of this.” You lifted up your one knee, your skirt was lifted up by it and it gave Adam a clear view of your filled up pussy.
Adam couldn’t even look you in the eyes too mesmerised apparently by the sight, it was emphasised by Adam’s dick coming back to life again, twiching and growing inside of you.
“..Shit, you’re right.” Adam grasped your waist and lifted you off off him. He removed the condom, tied it up and threw it somewhere carelessly on the backseat floor. Yikes again.
He rubbed at his chin, probably thinking of what to do next with you. With a hot flash across your body you remembered his promise from last time. Thinking of it, you could fit on the floor in between his legs. Maybe. It would be uncomfortable but you also seemingly have no self respect so what does that matter?
“Get in the back seat.” Adam told you, you nodded at his words. Ok. You can crawl over there. Adam gave a light slap to your ass and chuckled at your surprised gasp. Successfully making it back there, you made sure not to step on the discarded condom. Why is he like that?
Adam grabbed another condom, since he was too big for anything really, he couldn’t crawl back there like you. Instead, he used the doors, like a normal person. Couldn’t be you.
Your head was against the window, and when Adam opened the door car door and crawled onto the seat and flashed that smirk of his you knew you were a goner. Out of seemingly instinct your legs slightly opened. Adam closed the door behind him- yay to the illusion of privacy!- and then he grabbed your ankle and tugged your roughly towards him.
A surprised gasp left your lips, you were laid down now, with Adam towering over you. He once again secured the condom, then he bent down to kiss you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping he secured against you. His left arm was supporting his weight against the seat, caging you in, while the other hand was sensually moving from your stomach towards your pussy. He drew patterns into your pubes which made you squirm uncomfortably. Maybe you should start shaving. He then rubbed his thick fingers across your slit, probably checking if you were still wet enough for him. He grazed your clit and it made your whole body jolt.
“Every time a girl shaves her pussy an angel dies. I swear on it.” Adam mumbled out. If those words were meant for only him or if he noticed you being uncomfortable, you didn’t known. But it made you feel somewhat more comfortable.
Adam lined up his super duper magic dick against your entrance and slowly pushed it in. You wrapped your one leg around him, since the other was squished between his body and the seats.
With slow and deep thrusts Adam rocked against you, now you realised how much the car must have moved. The pleasure was building slowly but surely. Adam was quite for once. Pussy so good it shut Adam up?? You’re sure you can put that on your resume.
You wrapped your hand around Adam’s bicep, to steady yourself. You squeezed the soft flesh, looking mesmerised at his big arms. He smiled down at you and flexed his muscles, making them rock hard. You squeezed again and swore under your breath. At this display you remembered actual strong men, and how fat is needed for muscles to be functional and you remembered seeing Adam carrying 2 heavy ass amplifiers on his shoulders as if that was nothing and oh. You need him. Badly. Thankfully you have him.
Using your one hand which was at the back of his neck, you pulled him down to you. Teeth clashing and tongues dancing and spit getting everywhere. It was all consuming and still not enough.
Once the kiss ended, Adam rested his own forehead against yours. You worried for his neck and the constant way he has to twist and bend it to reach you. You gazed into each others eyes, mouths panting into each other and the street light from outside let warm light flow in. It felt like you couldn’t avoid Adam, he was wrapped over you, completely covering you from every angle and he was inside of you, throbbing and twitching. You were breathing in the same air. And you didn’t want him to leave, if you could you would capture this moment and stay here forever.
Why does this feel romantic?
It seemed like you weren’t the only one who thought that, since Adam straighten his back suddenly, as if he forgot what you are to him.
When you looked up into his endless eyes, he was slightly frowning, but that expression changed as soon as it came. Maybe you imagined it.
He grabbed your face roughly and forced your mouth to open wide for him. You let your tongue roll, and rubbed his thumb against it. Hot. He removed his tongue only to spit into your mouth. That’s also hot??
You closed your mouth to swallow his spit.
He seemed rather satisfied with that. He sped up the pace, skin slapping against skin and your moans and gasp and his grunts and string of loosely connected words which you weren’t paying attention to left his mouth. His smug face kind of pissed you off, so you reached out and twisted his pierced nipple.
Adam stifled his own moan by biting down on his lip. But the pleasure he felt from that, he couldn’t hide from you.
And once Adam came, he bit down on your neck. Great! More marks you will have to hide. Ughhh.
The way Adam immediately slowly pulled out of you surprised you. He seemed to enjoy staying in as long as possible. Your brain was a bit to slow to catch up with Adam’s movement. His face disappeared between your thighs, under your skirt and ah-
“Wait. You don’t have to…” Your sentence was interrupted by your own moan.
Adam’s lips latched around your clit and he sucked. Hard.
Overstimulation immediately cursed through your veins, your fingers found themselves at home in Adam’s hair and you tugged. Nails massaging Adam’s scalp, this is probably what heaven felt like.
His tongue traced idle patterns into your clit. Probably spelling his own name again…Asshole. But since you were already close when Adam was fucking into you romantic missionary style, you came with a sob and your body curled into itself. You tugged Adam away from your overstimulated hole. The fact that you were clenching around nothing made you a bit sad.
“If I ever say no to fucking you, honey pot, I need you to take me out the back and shoot me in the head.” Adam told you matter of fact.
You dumbly nodded at his words. Whatever he wants he can get. Genuinely.
“How are you so good at everything?” Your already barley existent filter was gone now in a post orgasmic haze.
Adam laughed at you, “What can I say, I’m a real pussy pleaser.” He sat properly up in the seat, tugging everything away properly. He must have thrown the condom away when your brain was still mush. Reaching over he grasped your arm and dragged you into his lap.
Once you rested your face against your shoulder, bare skin against bare skin and the heat radiating from his body you felt sleep over come you. Adam grasped your shoulders and shook you awake. Literally. You thought you were going to fall on the nasty floor where your guys used condoms laid around. At least the only condoms there were yours?
“You fallin' asleep on me again, baby?”
“Yes. So. Silence, m’tired.” You barley mumbled out. Throwing your head into Adam’s neck again.
“Get back to the passenger seat, slut. I’m driving you home.”
Groaning as if Adam just killed you, you crawled to the front again. There you also put your sweater back on and pocketed your phone. Your keys were also safe with you. That’s good, you love not being locked out. You adjusted your panties while you were at it.
Resting your head against the window, you closed your eyes again while Adam got back into the drivers seat. Turning on the engine, he started driving towards your home.
Since you were half asleep, it felt like it took a second for Adam to arrive in front of your apartment complex. You mumbled out a tired ‘Thanks for the ride.’ and climbed out of the seat.
“You know usu-“
You slammed the door shut before Adam could finish that sentence. The plan was to act like you didn’t hear him. Simply walking towards the entrance, you opened the door and opened it fully by pressing your side against it. You couldn’t care less about the usual. The less you knew of other girls the happier you are.
You looked back at the car, to at least wave Adam bye or something, but when you saw him slam his head against the wheel you stopped in your tracks. You watched the display of his frustration for a few seconds, he then raised his head, probably to check if you got in safely. He froze in horror when he realised you saw that.
Truth be told, you didn’t think Adam was capable of embarrassment. But here he was.
Holding eye contact for a painful second, you simply shook your head and quickly got inside. Walking up the stairs towards your apartment, you unlocked the door, threw off your shoes and collapsed into your bed.
———————————-
Since you usually keep your word, you started texting Adam back whenever you could. At least that seemed to make him happy. You think. It’s hard to tell over text. You also made an appointment with your obgyn, or as Adam called it your ‘Pussy doctor’. You’re close to blocking him.
On Monday, you walked with your friend towards her car in the uni parking lot. You were going to meet up with your other friends for lunch.
Of course Adam was also there, his car parked right across your friend. Gahh. His band members were with him, he just unlocked the car when everyone tumbled in. You could hear your ex call out, “Dude, what the fuck?! Are those used condoms!?”
You were going to kill Adam and then yourself. WAS HE WINKING AT YOU?? He’s dead. Thankfully no one noticed.
Your friend made a face at that info being yelled out across the parking lot, she unlocked her own car and got in. You didn’t hear more from the exchange, but from the way Adam looked happy you knew he was taunting your ex.
Your friend fastened her seatbelt, “I don’t get how anyone can fuck Adam. Like, he’s so disgusting, disrespectful, misogynistic..”
Biting at your lip, you already knew your friends would be mad at you if they found out about you and Adam from someone else besides you. Looking around the car, to make sure the windows were really closed, you took a deep breath.
Adam was in his own car, signalling to her that she has the right of way. She made a quick thank-you-wave and was about to back out of the parking space.
“I did.”
She slammed into the breaks, causing you to be catapulted forwards. The way she starred at you without saying anything, made you uncomfortable. She was speed running all the stages of grief, you could clearly see that. She sighed heavily, like the whole world was resting on her shoulders with your confession.
“……..Is he really that big?”
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ashwhowrites · 7 months
Note
Eddie taking home (her home) a very drunk Y/N Harrington, and Steve being pissed off because his sister is very drunk, and later talking with Eddie about him letting her sister getting drunk, and Eddie being protective of his gf and Y/N just making faces to Steve and then going to her bedroom to sleep with Eddie
This is really funny and I think I'll have fun writing it :) a little blurb filled with laughs and love
Drunk Harrington
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"Baby, I need you to walk," Eddie instructed, his arm wrapped around Y/N as he helped her walk. Her body was dead weight against him, her breath that smelled like alcohol smacking his nose every time she breathed out of her mouth.
"But I don't feel my legs." She whined, trying to focus on feeling the pavement underneath her bare feet. Eddie carried her heels in his other hand, keeping her upright as he knocked on her front door.
"Steve is going to be so pissed. His eyebrows get all scrunched up and he'll point at you like a teacher does while he scolds someone. He's funny." Y/N laughed to herself, the image of Steve in her brain causing her to laugh more.
"Very funny, until he has my ass." Eddie groaned.
"STEVE!" Y/N cheered loudly once he opened the door. Steve's eyes scanned her head to toe. Her eyes were red, she leaned on Eddie like her balance depended on it, and she swayed.
"You got her drunk? Are you kidding me?" Steve snapped towards Eddie, grabbing his sister from Eddie's arms. She stumbled into Steve, latching on to his arm as she tried to stay on her feet. He walked her into the house and sat her on the couch, Eddie following in from behind.
"I didn't get her drunk. She's a big girl, she chose to get drunk." Eddie scoffed, Steve stood in front of him, Y/N mostly blocked behind him.
"Probably because her idiot boyfriend brought her to a party! Did you just leave her there while you did your little drug business? What if something happened to her while she WAS PISSED OFF DRUNK!" Steve yelled, Y/N covered her ears at his volume.
"You think I'm an asshole? No! I didn't leave my girlfriend alone and I don't do my business with her around. Nothing happened because I was with her the entire time. She just wanted to have fun, Steve. I kept her safe and even got her home before curfew!" Eddie defended.
Steve huffed and paced back and forth. Y/N came into Eddie's eyesight as Steve paced. She was using her hands to mock him and mouthed his words. Eddie tried to hide his smile as Steve continued his rant. All of it went out his ears, as he watched Y/N make faces behind Steve's back.
"And she co- ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?" Steve snapped, noticing Eddie's eyes were directed behind him and a stupid smile that he was trying to hide under his hand.
Steve turned around to see Y/N, sitting silently with her hands in her lap. Steve eyed her suspiciously, telling Eddie to sit next to her so he could watch the both of them.
Steve started his rant towards Y/N, she rolled her eyes as he went on and on.
She started to make faces at him, too drunk to realize she was mocking him to his face. Eddie laughed and joined in.
The couple sat together and made faces at Steve as he lectured them. Y/N stuck out her tongue, using her hands to make antlers on the top of her head.
Eddie laughed and copied her. Then started to make animal noises.
"MOOOOOOO"
"You two are unbelievable!" Steve groaned, his hands in his hair as he gave up. He marched out of the room.
"Alright. Playtime is over, time we go to sleep." Eddie said, standing up and grabbing her hands. She stumbled into his arms as he started walking them to her room.
"Maybe we can annoy him with other kinds of sounds in my bedroom," Y/N whispered, her lips on Eddie's neck.
"My favorite type of game," Eddie smirked, smacking her ass as she giggled and ran to her room. Eddie prayed she wouldn't trip over her own feet.
Tags!
@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergentreblogs @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37
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mywons · 10 months
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៹ enha when you're hurt.
▸ ִֶָ tags enha x reader + fluff + hurt/comfort + jayke being bf material + the boys being protective + romantic gestures. warnings! && mentions of injury, cursing. REQUESTED : hi there i love love love your writing and i was wondering if you could maybe do how the members would react if someone hurt you (either physically or emotionally)? ✿ 1.6k words —
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## HEADCANONS UNDER THE CUT !
lee heeseung !
he's very very very attentive
whether you guys are dating or not, he makes sure to know all of your habits/quirks, so he knows when something's off
if you don't outright tell him, he'll ask for himself. "hey, what's going on with you? what happened, hm?"
please tell him so he doesn't think he did something wrong :(
his presence alone is probably one of the most comforting things ever, so if he's also putting all of his effort into making sure he's comforting you . . . god
if you're upset about something that can't be fixed, he'll listen to you rant & cry about it while he holds you in his arms and kisses the top of your head. maybe try and crack a few jokes to make you laugh,, get your mind off of it for a little
if it's something that can be fixed, he will give you any & all advice you ask for. would even take matters into his own hands if he feels like you're too stressed to handle it. he's so caring it's insane
if it's a person that hurt you . . . good luck to them???
like he already doesn't like seeing you upset but there's an actual human being that caused your tears?? they'll literally never be safe again
overall so so gentle with you and absolutely the best when it comes to making you feel better.
park jongseong !
he'll notice. immediately. like as soon as your fucking walk is a little off, he knows something is up
won't say anything unless you bring it up first, but he'll pamper you in so much affection that you know he's noticed your change in behavior
if days go by & your behavior doesn't change, then he'll ask about it
at this point, he's worried more than anything. just wants his happy baby back !!
^^ especially if your state starts messing w your physical health. he is not having it. has absolutely no problem w missing any & all events to cater to your every want and need, he's your very own personal caregiver
wtv's fucking with you will be long gone by the time he's done, jay hates to see you unhappy and he'll do absolutely anything to change it.
+ he already loves being there for you at every waking moment, so having an excuse to do this other than want ??? he loves it
you get texts from him every five minutes if he can't be near you "i'll bring food as soon as i can" "are you feeling better yet honey?" "i'm gonna stay over for the night"
you'd have to physically pry him off of you to go get a drink of water/use the bathroom in the middle of the night. poor boy is so clingy when you're not feeling well :((
jongseong the (boy)friend we all need $!3#+$%?
sim jaeyun !
he'd take you out on the best date ever, and you being you, you fall and twist your ankle
it's not that deep, you just have to stay in bed and elevate it for a few days. jake—jake thinks it is that deep
he feels so bad that you got hurt during your time w him, it feels like it's his fault even though it's really no one's
in guilt & genuine concern for you, he's by your side everyday all day. pampering you. holding your hand when you wanna get up and walk, cooking your meals and helping you bathe
he's js so so so sweet and by the end of it you're so accustomed to his company that you guys end up being a lot closer
randomly starts telling you how much he loves you throughout the day. platonic or not, he's just 100x more affectionate when you're hurt
even after you're all healed, his touch becomes a lot more gentle with you. the usual rough banter & playful fighting you guys do turns into softer touches and warm hugs. he's so careful with you
& finds himself being a lot more protective, too. a hand on the small of your back always
not overbearing, but it's to the point that you miss him so much it hurts when he's not near you
if someone else causes an injury or anything else that even slightly alters your mood in a negative way, pray for them
idk if y'all saw that one video where he said he'd fight over his partner but,, yeah. he didn't lie.
when it comes to your health, he's very very serious and he expects the same from everyone else you hang around
if he finds that someone around you doesn't feel that way, he would not hesitate to start an argument. you deserve the absolute best and shouldn't settle for less, he tells you
if you aren't already, you'll be in love w him by the end of your injury
park sunghoon !
sunghoon is an introvert, and because of this, he finds himself being quiet & zoning out sometimes. he has his bursts of chaotic energy like everyone else, but for the most part he observes
trying to lie to him ab being fine isn't smart. he knows you like the back of his hand. oh you thought he was staring into space? no, he was paying attention to literally everything around him, especially you
literally just the tone of your voice could change slightly and he knows something's wrong. he won't let it go either
"tell me. what's wrong? did something happen? did someone happen?"
he's naturally protective of the people around him, but you especially. you're very special to him and he likes to show it
you'd sit in his lap and tell him just about everything that's bothering you, while his hands are around your waist and he hugs you tightly
he knows he doesn't like dwelling on bad feelings himself, so his main thing would be to try and keep your mind as far drifted away from whatever's bothering you
whether it be physical contact, making jokes, reading to you, he'll do anything if it means he gets to see you smile because he knows you'd do the same for him
it's not rare for him to be affectionate, but he's usually only touchy when you guys are alone. now that he knows where your head is, he's always touching you as a way of reassurance
just so perfect in every way, doesn't at all think of you as a burden
kim sunoo !
he's definitely the type to be sad if you're sad
sunoo would walk up to you, expecting an exciting greeting. when he doesn't get that, he'd frown and immediately ask what's wrong
you'll tell him about the stomachache that's been bothering you, and he'd make you some tea and take a nap with you
it's easy to fall asleep as he traces shapes into your exposed skin
100% asking "are you okay? you're sure? do you need anything?" every five seconds
^^ make that every two seconds, actually
he's already extremely affectionate, but he usually shows it by teasing you. this time around? nuh uh, you're getting absolutely drowned in loving
just so sweet !!!!!!!! sweetest boy ever
he's so caring and forever concerned for you and how you're doing
you want soup in the middle of the night? he will sleepwalk to the damn kitchen and get the fucking job done.
yang jungwon !
he's probably used to dealing w caring for his sick members because of his leader role, but he definitely cares for you in a different way
showers you in gifts to take your mind off of your injury. buys you all different types of snacks and plushies <3
if it's something more emotional that's bothering you, there's no one else you could ask for that's better at making you feel better !!
he's so so genuine and it makes him so easy to be around ,, especially when you're dealing with problems. jungwon prides himself on how many people have told him how comfortable he makes them feel
definitely doesn't see you as a bother, and if you suggest such, you will be scolded
you're so very precious to him & he would never ever want you to feel otherwise. it's practically his duty to nurse you back into your best health so why would he ever be bothered by it??? especially when you're so wonderful to be around
his love language is definitely words of affirmation/quality time anyways, so he would never ever do anything to make you feel unwanted and is constantly reassuring you in any and every way he can
scolds redirects you when you try to do anything for yourself. "hey, let me do it, okay? you lie down."
honestly you forget you'd forget ab your problems whenever he's around, it's like his presence is the medicine to your wound
best boy <3
nishimura riki !
teases you nonstop !!
if it's something like a very small injury, he'll laugh at you as he helps your with your bandages
if it's something far more serious, he's far more serious
definitely doesn't like it if you don't take your current state seriously. you're not doing well, therefore you should be doing everything to get better. not wasting your time to make jokes. he's very rarely stern but when it comes to your wellbeing he's completely different
wouldn't get emotional unless it's something serious, and even then he wouldn't be emotional in front of you
orders you both different foods to try out of boredom each night
riki would 100% stay the night if you ask him, but if you aren't dating, he would sleep so far away unless you ask otherwise
^^ he's so cute bye
but in ending he's just super supportive and just wants the best for you, even if he teases you most of the time
!!!!!!! cutie
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mywons © 2023 ## please do not plagiarize my works.
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lucidreamer-uwu · 1 year
Note
Hi! Can I request headcannons for cuddling with the om brothers?
Cuddling with you
LUCIFER
Would most of the time be the big spoon. Times when you'd be the big spoon is when he passes out before you even get to the bed.
Loves to burry his face snuggly in the base of your neck.
Cuddling with him would always involve a little teasing.
Praises you through sweet whispers in your ear.
The way he holds you makes you feel safe and the kisses he plants on your head lulls you to sleep soundly.
MAMMON
Completely encases you in his arms.
Likes to have his head on your chest so he can listen to your heartbeat and hug your abdomen.
He tells you about his day and asks about yours as he holds you. Most of the time he rants about his day while you hug his head dearly. And you'd both fall asleep like that.
Might hug you a little too tight sometimes.
Has drooled on you multiple times before.
Has squashed you multiple times before.
Will definitely give you pouty kisses.
Due to his naturally possessive nature, he'd give you zero personal space. He'd be clinging on you for hours if you were cuddling.
LEVIATHAN
At first he'd be VERY conscious about even touching you but would eventually get used to it.
When he does get used to cuddling with you, he'd crave it every now and then and at the most random times.
Doesn't matter where you were, he'd need his cuddles ASAP.
At RAD? He'll pull you away from the group and literally just hold you in his arms in an empty hallway or classroom.
In someone else's room? He'd YEET you out of there, not caring what his brothers say.
You aren't around? He'd blow up your phone just to ask for cuddles.
The best cuddles he gives though is whenever he's jealous. Yes. When he's jealous after seeing you give anyone a hug, you'd be cuddling hours on end. He'd be so clingy that he even carries you to the kitchen to restock on his food and drinks supply for his room.
SATAN
He will always be the big spoon unless you want to be or when he's in a pouty/grumpy mood and you have to cheer him up.
He sometimes sings you songs. Other times he tells you his favorite stories that he's got memorized.
Talks about his day and asks about yours. It would often start with him ranting about something, but would always end in fluff and him purring.
One arm wraps around you and the other rests on your waist or hip is his favorite default cuddle position.
ASMODEUS
Weirdly likes to hug certain portions of your body at different times.
Sometimes likes to hug mainly your arm, sometimes your leg, other times your head. Something like a koala bear.
Loves to play with your hair, style it, comb it with his fingers, tuck it behind your ears/mess it up.
Rubs his cheeks on you.
Pets you a lot.
Says your name while he sleeps with a happy expression.
BEELZEBUB
When you cuddle, he always makes it a point to hold your hand — to intertwine your fingers together.
He wants you over him most of the time just so he's sure that he wouldn't squish you.
You cuddle facing each other and his hands are behind your back, securing you completely.
He often sniffs your hair and kisses your head afterwards. The smell of you drives him crazy, not because he has the urge to nom you, but because he cherishes you do much.
BELPHEGOR
He almost always demands that you hug him with you entire body when you cuddle.
He'd be lying on his side and you'd be hugging his torso so that your head is just under his chin.
Your legs must straddle his abdomen too. He loves it when you're as close to him as possible.
Lays his chin on top of your head and kisses your hair everytime he wakes up in the middle of his naps.
Sorry for the late answer but here it is anon! Hope it isn't trash :")
Tag List: @mcx7demonbros @gojohater101 @my-names-angel-but-im-not-one
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bless-my-demons · 7 months
Text
Redamancy: Chapter Eighteen
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Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?
Warnings: Cuss words and angst, my bread and butter rn
Notes: I’m so sorry this is late tonight! I’m still reeling from Tuesday night’s Sleep Token concert… it was honestly life changing. I’ve been working on this chapter all day so I hope you like! I promise I’m trying to get through New Moon without dragging it out longer than necessary, I just need to set up certain things for… things👀
Word Count: 2383
Series Masterlist
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• January 17th, 2006 • Home •
Reader
Long, cold fingers trail across my cheekbones - featherlight and almost reverent in their exploration. Cool lips brush my hairline and I can feel the smile against my skin. A grin tilts the corner of my mouth and I roll over to push my face into the hard chest at my side to just get a few more moments of sleep.
But my face didn't meet his chest, I rolled right onto a cool pillow.
I flip back over and blink at the ceiling of my bedroom. The fan begins to swim as the familiar tickle of tears threatens to bubble over the corners of my eyes, it was a dream.
Sleep used to be the reprieve from these feelings, but he’s bleeding into my subconscious too. Fuck, is this just life from now on? Not only just pining after someone by day, but dreaming of him by night too?
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“How was your night out, sweetheart?” My mom calls as she hears me descend the stairs.
The scent of bacon and pancakes wafts down the hallway and my stomach rumbles in anticipation.
“The movie kinda sucked, but I think everyone had fun.” I go for the vague answer, not wanting to scare her by trying to explain Bella’s theory-on-danger test.
“Oh? What movie did you see?” Her eyebrows pinch together as she tosses the question over her shoulder.
“The new one that just came out about zombies, it had jump scares and chase scenes that had me scared out of my mind the entire time. And after the movie, Jessica went on this rant about how it might have a double meaning for leprosy, I had to fight not to laugh.” Pouring two glasses of orange juice, I set the table as I explained.
“Dear Lord, I worry about that girl sometimes.” Dishing food onto my plate, she pauses. “I’m glad you had a good night out.”
I opt to shove food in my mouth instead of responding to her quiet comment. Halfway through my pancakes, the familiar crunch of gravel under old tires sounds from the driveway.
“Who-?” But I’m peaking through the blinds before she could finish the thought.
“It’s Bella Swan.” I glance at my mother with raised brows before dashing to the front door.
Swinging it open before her raised fist could knock, “What are you doing here?”
“I uh, I came by to see if you wanted to hang out at the Rez with me today? I’m going to see Jacob if you want to tag along.” She toes her shoe on the corner of our welcome mat as she digs her hands in her jacket, nervous.
“Of course, let me go change! You’re more than welcome to come in while you wait.” I dash up the stairs before she can answer, leaving the door open for her to walk in.
“Isabella Swan! I’m so happy to see you stop by dear!” I sigh as I hear my mom’s over-excited voice drift through the house.
I try to hurry and swap my sweats for jeans before my mom could drill her for more information about last night. I love the woman to death, but her middle name might as well be nosy.
Snagging my current read from my desk after tugging on my ratty pair of chucks, I rush back downstairs.
“Ready!” I call to Bella.
“Thanks for letting her hang with me, Mrs. Y/l/n.” I hear Bella tell my mom before escaping the kitchen.
“Anytime dear, you hardly even have to ask.” My mom winks at me from over Bella’s shoulder and I roll my eyes playfully in response as we head out of the front door.
“Be safe you two! Call if you need anything!” Shouting from the front porch with a smile and a wave, I return the wave once I’m settled in the old red truck.
Turning onto the road, I dive right into my curiosity, “Okay so what’s really going on today?”
“We’re actually going to the Rez, but it’s a surprise.” She hooks a thumb over her shoulder to the bed of the truck.
Twisting, I notice something rather large covered with a tarp in the back. “And what is that?”
“Actually, what are those. And they were free, you’ll just have to wait and see.” Drumming her thumbs on the steering wheel to some imaginary beat, I huff and face forwards again.
If I had to go by any indication of what happened last night, this surprise doesn’t bode well.
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• Black residence, La Push Indian Reservation •
Reader
Climbing from the old red truck, a tall and tan guy comes running up to meet us. Well - Bella, if his eyes souly trained on her is any indication of his attention.
“Bella! Where the hell have you been loca?” I notice the wide grin on his face causes one to appear on Bella’s, interesting.
Looking over her shoulder after spinning her in a circle, this Jacob guy finally notices me, “And who is this?”
“Oh that’s Y/n Y/l/n, a friend from school. I hope you don’t mind I asked her to tag along?” She finishes sheepishly, but he shakes her concern away and extends a hand towards me.
“Jacob Black, nice to meet you.” He flashes me a much smaller smile as I accept his handshake and nod with a small smile of my own.
“I uh, also brought you something.” Pointing at the tarp-covered-mass in the bed of her truck before flicking up a corner to show us. “It’s a little crazy.”
My eyes widen as I take in the two dirt bikes.
“Wow, scrap metal. You shouldn’t have.” Jacob jokes, already sensing the train wreck this is about to be.
“I saved them from the junkyard.” Glancing between us to measure our looks, “I think they’ll probably cost more to fix than they’re worth, but then I thought that I’d I had a mechanic friend to help me out then-”
“Oh - me, being the mechanic-type friend?” A half-laugh slips out of him as he puts the puzzle pieces together.
“That’s right.”
“Since when are you into motorcycles?” His question takes me back to last night and I play with the drawstrings on my worn hoodie anxiously.
“Since now.” A pause as she assesses him, “I get it if you think this is really stupid. And reckless-”
“It’s completely stupid and reckless.” She visibly deflates at his confirmation.
“Bella, I’m not sure this is the best idea-” but he cuts me off before I finish.
“When do we start?” Both of us snap our eyes to his face, searching for the punchline.
“Um, now! Please?” Bella responds dazed.
“Alright.” Jacob immediately reaches for the first bike to unload our new projects.
“Oh hey, be careful those things are actually-” He lifts them as if they’re toys instead, “Really heavy. Jake, you’re like, buff. How did that happen, you’re like sixteen.”
“Age is just a number baby, what are you like forty now?”
Bella’s eyes immediately meet mine and my breath stutters for a second at the discussion of age, something the both of us are all too aware of.
“Feels like that sometimes.”
We both follow him into the garage around the side of his house as he pushes both bikes inside. Settling onto the old couch behind where Jacob works, I dive into my book while Bella watches him take everything apart.
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Over the weekend, Bella drops me off and picks me up again to hang out while Jacob works away at the first bike. It’s comfortable, relaxing and enjoying their company without having to feel like I need to contribute, my presence being all that Bella wants from me.
Soft music drifts from his radio perched nearby, but Bella leans over to switch it off.
“This song's good, you don’t like it?”
“Um, I don’t really… like music anymore, kind of.” Bell’s confession causes me to reread the page I’m on, sadness spilling into my chest and distracting me from the words on the page, because I get it.
“Okay, no more music.” Jacob gets back to cranking on one particularly stubborn bolt and I meet Bella’s eyes over the top of my book, a knowing look passing between us.
We’re two sides of the same sad coin, no matter how you flip it, the outcome is always the same - hurt and anger and denial. There’s no winning anything tossing this coin - it’s the crusty penny that’s forgotten about on a sidewalk somewhere facing tails-up. Nobody wants it because it’s not bringing you good luck and there’s so few people in this world that are the type to stop and flip it over for the next person. That’s what it feels like, watching everyone pass us by as they live life, no one to stop and pick us up.
Except maybe for Jacob, for Bella at least. Meanwhile, I have him in my dreams.
Light knocking echos in the large space, “Yo Jake, you in there?” Two boys emerge from the slightly open door.
“It’s okay, it’s just my boys.” Jacob informs us as he sees us tense at the intrusion.
“Hey Jake.” They both greet their friend while observing us.
“Hey guys, this is Bella,” Directing a hand towards her and then me, “And this is Y/n.” Turning to look at us now, he points at the two newcomers, “That’s Quil and Embry.”
“I’m Quil Atera.” Nodding in our direction, trying to play it cool.
I cover my mouth to stifle a giggle at the obvious flirtation.
“So the bike building story is true?” Quil Atera asks.
“Oh yeah, I taught him everything he knows.” Another giggle threatens to burst at her mock-serious answer.
“What about the part where you’re his girlfriend?”
I immediately choke on my laughter at Bella’s surprise, girlfriend?
“Actually we’re friends.” Bella fires back and I cringe.
“Ooo-burn!” Embry teases.
“Actually, I remember I said she’s a girl and a friend.” Jacob says, trying to cover his blunder with his friends.
“Embry, do you remember him making that distinction?”
“Nope.” Embry pops the ‘p’ to exaggerate the embarrassment.
“So you guys have girlfriends, that’s awesome.”
Jacob immediately busts out laughing at her comeback, “Yeah right, Quil's actually taking his cousin to prom.”
“Oh ouch.” This time I jump in to acknowledge the burn.
“Yeah that’s still alright. You want funny, Black? I’ll give you funny!” Quil launches at Jacob and the two go at it like kids at recess trying to take each other to the ground in a play-fight.
Embry lumbers over to us and we take turns laughing and placing bets on the two rough-housers. It’s starting to feel normal, hanging out with other people again.
Just not the normal I wanted.
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• January 17th, 2006 • Ithaca, New York •
Jasper
A soft knock at my bedroom door raises my eyes from my book.
I wasn’t actually reading, it was more of a stare-and-daydream sort of thing. The words weren’t registering on the page, but her eyes were. They filled the gaps between sentences, her smile occupied the margins, her laugh drowned out the page turns.
It was useless trying to think of anything else, she was everywhere I looked. I didn’t have the option of sleep, but I know that wouldn’t be a reprieve either.
“Carlisle and I are going hunting, would you like to join us sweetheart?” Esme’s voice has always been kind and her emotions are even kinder. Patience, hopefulness, and the worst: love and understanding. Those two hurt the worst, understanding felt more like pity and the love? There was only one person’s love I wanted to feel, everyone else’s paled in comparison.
“I’m fine, not hungry.” If my gravely voice didn’t give my lie away, my black eyes certainly did.
Pain, sadness, pity-
Anger flares in my chest at the last one and I’m up from my chair in a flash, turning my gaze away from my adoptive mother and out my window. The split second of anger I felt towards Esme adds another speck of rot to the inside of my chest.
“I-I’m sorry hun, I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s fine, I’ll be fine.” Looking over my shoulder, but not quite meeting her eyes, “Enjoy your hunt with Carlisle.”
She’s gone half a second later, her light perfume drifts through my empty room and it makes me regret being short with her.
“The fuck is your deal?” Annoyance seeps from Rosalie in my doorway.
“The fuck is yours, Rose?” Long gone is the southern gentleman I was raised to be as I spin around.
“You. You and Edward. This sulk in my room and refuse to function bullshit!”
“What does it matter to you? You have Emmett, you have everything you want-”
“Stop right there.” Her tone was absolutely lethal and I know why. “You’re throwing her away and forcing everyone else to too-”
“You don’t get to lecture me on her-”
“I can and I will! It’s quite literally tearing this family apart!” Her slender finger pokes the middle of my chest and I temper the urge to snap it.
“Since when do you give a shit about this family?” I sneer back at her.
“I care about how this is eating at the sister I never had growing up. I give a shit about how this is killing the light in my husband’s eyes. I care about how it’s hurting Esme to see two of her sons struggling for no reason. And believe it or not, I care about you and Edward too.” She pauses, eyes flicking between mine, searching. “One fuck up-”
“It wasn’t just a fuck up!” I grip her upper arms and shake her lightly. “I could’ve killed her! I went fucking nuclear and with her there is no room for fuck ups!”
“You’re in love with her.” The realization surprises her.
“It’s more than that.” I drop the hold I have on her and begin pacing.
“Mates?” Now the real shock settles in on my sister.
I don’t stop pacing, letting my silence answer for me.
“Fuck.” Rose’s response is beginning to feel like a summary of my life now.
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