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callsign-mongoose · 3 months

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Bachelorette Bookclub

Pairing: Robert "BOB" Floyd x Reader (No use of Y/N)

Warnings: Drunk brunch with your brides maids, They are kinda bitches, a couple sexual jokes but most of this is fluff.

Word count: 1.5k (It's just a little Blurb)

Essentially, your celebrating your bachelorette brunch with your girls and the question of how you and your fiancé met comes up!

A/N: I just thought this was a cute idea! I've been struggling with writers block recently so please help if you have any ideas you really want someone to write! Send them to me!

On to the show

Mimosa buzzed giggles were being shared in the corner of the booth. Your closest girlfriends sitting around enjoying their 4th glass in their ultimately bottomless mimosas.

Girl brunch had always been a part of the schedules no matter how they changed. Besides, no one was going to miss out on your bachelorette party. It was a rather simple idea, everything about the wedding was simple and you and your fiancé Bob liked it that way. A girls weekend at a nearby hotel, it was more about enjoying the time spent together than getting plastered bar crawling for one night.

From just over the flowerbeds sectioning off the patio of the restaurant from the rest of the hotel, a crowd of guys came bounding through wearing their swim trunks and holding towels chanting, “Pool Bar! Pool Bar! Pool Bar!” The group seemed to be almost carrying one man in the middle who seemed like he was simply embarrassed to be there. His cheeks all red, shaking his head laughing as his friends continued to pull him down the hall.

It was your man, your fiancé, your Bob. You never knew how he managed to stay so docile and sweet when surrounded by so many brash impulsive men. You had become close with the rest of Bobs team, Natasha was a given, she was the first right of passage, everyone else was just entertainment. As much as you loved them, they weren’t anything that you’d want to spend every day with.

Your friends had started to giggle once again as they watched the horde of a Batchelor party run by. “He really is… a catch hon.” Lydia, one of your bridesmaids commented before turning to Adyson giving her a look. It was very clear her words were condescending, and it wasn’t appreciated. “Yeah… babes you could have done so much better, look at him, has he ever had fun a day in his life? He looks like the human embodiment of a piece of paperwork… his friends are hot though and look like so much fun.” A fit of laughter and sexual comments erupted from the group of drunk women as they fawned over Bobs coworkers.

“Hold on, hold on, we need to at least let her defend her pick.” Lexi, your maid of honor spoke up, clearly not having the rest of the parties’ rude comments. “Remember who the one getting married is, at least our bride can hold a stable relationship.” Lexi shot Adyson and Lydia a look that made them immediately shut up as they had both been known to find new lovers every week. “Why don’t you tell them how you and Bob met, that’s such a cute story. It perfectly encapsulates the relationship you have with your soon to be Hubby.”

A light flush crossed your cheeks, grateful that Lexi had been able to reign in the chaos that had been caused by the alcohol, “Fine fine, I’ll tell it… I’m surprised you can’t recite it yourself by now Lexi” You teased placing your mimosa glass down.

“Well, it started because I was hunting down a book for a class that I was taking. A recommendation from the professor…”

------------------------------

“Haust, Heidi, come on where’s Heinlein.” Your fingers brushed over the spines of the books as you glanced at the authors names. The authors name sounded so foreign in your mind now that you had repeated it about 10,000 times over trying not to forget.

The spine had been worn in but the name of the book could be read enough to tell, that was it, The Tunnel In The Sky. Lifting your hand to pull it off the shelf a larger hand grazed over yours, rough finger pads just barely kissing your knuckles before pulling away. “Oh.. sorry, I didn’t realize-“

He was handsome, but that was one of the last things you noticed about him. Eyes scanning his plain gray crewneck, then to his dark blue baseball cap, noticing how his hair was peaking out around the sides, very clearly pushed down against his head. Blue eyes seemed to fit the man, captivating and friendly, even if his facial expression was concerned about their interaction.

Perhaps the most interesting about him was the fact that the stranger hadn’t even tried to grab the book again, simply stepping back to allow you to take dibs, pulling it off the shelf.

“It seems like we’ve both got good taste huh?” You said trying to break the rather awkward silence that had thickened between the two of you.

The man gave a chuckle that reassured you he was just as nervous as you seemed to be about the situation. “Yeah… are you familiar with it?” He asked gesturing towards the book that was now in your hands, “Someone’s definatly read it plenty of times, the spines been subjected to lots of love.”

You milled the book over in your hands, fingers tracing the spine now that the stranger had mentioned it. “Yeah…” Your mind wandered for a moment before you realized there was a first part to the question the man asked. “Oh! Uh, no no, it’s my first time reading it actually. I’m taking a history class right now over at SDCC (San Diego Community College) and my professor mentioned the book during a lecture and I got curious.” Feeling like you had talked far too much about yourself, you swallowed shallowly, “Um, what about you? Do you know much about it?”

The stranger just shook his head, “No, not really, just the basic synopsis I read online… I’m actually reading it off of a recommendation too. I tend to stick to Non-Fiction books, and my friends sorta tease me for it… in a good way,” he added quickly. “Anyway, my best friend suggested this book as a good way to kinda, get out of my normal comfort zone. I’ve been trying to expand my horizons lately.”

Your nose wrinkled trying not to giggle, “So reading a different genre of book is expanding your horizons? No offence but it doesn’t seem like you live a very fast paced life.”

“You have no idea.” His head shook and it was clear something about the situation was ironic to him.

The interaction could have ended there but you weren’t quite ready to say goodbye to the handsome stranger quite yet. Besides, there hadn’t been any decisions that decided who’d get the book.

“Here,” You tried to offer holding the book out for the man to take, “I don’t need to read it right now, I can always just rent it later, it’s no big deal.”

The man shook his head gently pushing the book back into your grasp, “Your doing it to farther your education and understanding, I couldn’t get in the way of that.”

“And your trying to expand your horizons and tastes, that’s important too.”

After a tense moment of silence and a range of eye movements to try to encourage the other to take the book, the man’s lips broke into a smile, eyes shifting to the book shelf. “Okay… how about this, a benefit to us both. We take turns, make it kind of a book club thing.” He offered smiling. “We read a chapter or two, then switch off, once we each read a couple chapters we meet for lunch, and talk about it?” He offered with a hopeful smile.

How could you resist, intellectual conversation with a handsome guy over lunch? Yes please. “Alright, that sounds like a deal…” You pulled out your phone, handing it to the man to put his number in, once returned to you, it was quick to go into your pocket.

Attention turning back to the man who had put himself into your phone as Bob Floyd, you noticed him reaching back up to the shelf for something. He grabbed another book, a second copy of “Tunnel In The Sky”, a grin spreading on his face, “Huh… another copy, weird.”

You laughed quietly “guess we went through all that trouble of making a plan for nothing huh?”

“Not necessarily, perhaps I just chose to ignore the second newer copy in favor of the well loved copy and the opportunity to talk to a beautiful girl.” The grin on his face said it all, he was being confident, but it was new to him, and it suited him well.

------------------------------

All the girls around the table had been lulled into having their hands on their chins like children gathered for story time. “Aww, all that just to talk to you? How cute.” Adyson said her lips curling into a grin.

“It worked didn’t it?” You responded holding up your left hand with the engagement ring on it, “He’s perfect guys, I couldn’t care less if he’s a bit timid. Bobby shows when it really counts.”

What was a warm and tender moment quicky changed as Lexi pretended to hide her mouth to comment “He show’s out in the bedroom too.”

A shriek escaped you as you slapped Lexi’s hand from her mouth in a playful manner as the rest of the girls laughed. So what if Bob wasn’t the biggest, or the loudest, or the most smooth. He was yours, and that was all you could have asked him to be.

#top gun fandom #top gun #bob floyd #baby on board #Hes simply too cute #top gun maverick #natasha phoenix trace #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd fanfiction #Bob fucks #just not right now #fragile floyd #i love him your honor

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thevoidstaredback · 11 days

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Be Thou For The People

A contradictory void of suffocating black and empty white was the last thing Edward wanted to see at any given time. Sure, there was the exception of when he was going to get his and Al's bodies back, but that wasn't now. He was sure he hadn't done anything against explicitly against any Alchemical Laws, nor had he stumbled into any Human Transmutation arrays, so why was he here?

The familiar not-presence of a not-being filled his mind when it spoke to him. "Using your own soul as a Philosopher's Stone to save your life? What a cheat."

"Hey!" Ed protested, barely keeping himself from moving from his spot. Fighting this not-being would only be a waste of the infinitely miniscule amount of time in the void. "It's not cheating. I didn't break any rules. Besides, Alkahestry works kind of like that."

The Truth laughed heartily. "You must take the time to understand that which you do not. Using Alchemy on yourself is a form of Human Transmutation. You're molding your life to go against the flow, however small the alteration might have been. Unless you are not human?"

"Of course I'm human!" Ed shrunk in on himself slightly. Of course he didn't understand Alkahestry, the research for it hadn't been readily accessible to him like his Alchemy resources! And, yes, maybe he knew, in the back of his mind, that transmuting himself was still technically an Alchemical Taboo, but he had thought The Truth would have let him off because he was using his own life as the price! Evidently, that wasn't the case. In his defense, it was either shave off a few years or die via impalement. Neither was a good case, but he'd rather live to keep his promise to his brother than to die in a mineshaft because of a bastard like Kimblee.

"What am I even doing here?" he asked with a huff. It couldn't be anything good.

The Truth's ever present grin fell ever so slightly. "I'd like to cash in a favor with you."

"Excuse me?" he blinked.

The not-being continued, "A favor. You do something for me, I'll do something for you. That kind of deal."

"Hold on," Ed said, uncrossing his arms, "Why do You want me for this? Why not pull some other poor bastard to do Your dirty work?" For that's what this had to be, dirty work. There was nothing else it could be.

This time, The Truth's smile fell noticeably. "Because very few have survived coming into my realm once, let alone several times thereafter."

Another huff. "What's the parameters of this 'favor'?"

It grinned again. "Someone has decided to go and try to cheat Death. I want you to go get him and bring him to face the Gate."

"What do I get out of this?"

"A free pass. You'll be able to recover your brother's body with no repercussions on your end, though I would still like an answer."

Speechless for a moment, Ed recovered soon enough to ask, "What answer?"

"Nothing you need to worry about right now, little alchemist." The Truth's grin split It's face unnaturally in a smile, "What do you say, poor bastard?"

With a long, drawn out, resigned sigh, Edward sat down in front of his Gate. Honestly, he'd brought that taunt upon himself. Also, could he even refuse this? "Alright, fine. What do I gotta do?" It was too good to be true, but he might as well take the chance.

"That's the spirit, little alchemist!" The Truth relaxed, outstretching the leg It'd stolen from Ed and resting Ed's arm on It's other knee, leaving the hand and wrist limp. "I'll be sending you to the other side of the Gate. A world where technology thrived and alchemy died. A world of hidden societies. It is within one of those hidden societies that I want you to be. The man who has tried to defy Death runs as the 'villain', you could say."

When The Truth paused, Edward took that moment to think before speaking. "So, You want me to find this guy on the other side of the Gate and bring him to You?" It was a miracle he wasn't freaking out. Then again, that wouldn't get him anywhere. There's a time and a place, but this was not it. "How long do I have?"

"As long as it takes you. When you're done, you'll end up right where and when I pulled you from."

'Right where...' The sudden realisation of what had happened before he found himself in The Truth's realm was near painful. Quickly, he placed his flesh hand over where he knew he'd been impaled. The last thing he was doing before coming here was healing the wound and trying to stay alive. Pulling his hand away, he found no blood and only a slight numbness in place of pain. "What?"

"Pain doesn't exist here, little alchemist, I thought you would have remembered this fact?" It was true. When he had committed the Taboo, he'd not felt any pain until he was back in his father's study with one less leg. Though, the screaming was mostly shock and panic.

"If I do this," Ed started, "What rules do I have to follow?"

"I'm not sure I quite know what you mean?" It's grin and tone said otherwise.

"I'm not gonna let you throw me into a world knowing jack shit about it or the Laws in place." He knew all too well that he wouldn't actually be able to stop The Truth from doing anything. It was actually pretty generous of it to ask him instead of just dumping him somewhere in the first place. "Knowing my luck, I'd end up breaking one and end up right back here."

The Truth chuckled. "Knowing your luck, little alchemist, you'd knowingly break them even if you did know them." Ed resisted the urge to launch at the not-being. "However, I will tell you. The world follows the same basic Laws of yours. The society you'll be in have some additional ones. All the information you need will be given to you when you go Through." It put It's chin on Edwards right palm, the elbow resting on Its knee. "I would advise you keep your alchemy hidden from a very specific certain people. I'd also advise you to trust very few."

That's not good. The Truth is actually telling him to avoid people? "I don't suppose You'll tell me who to avoid." The grin he was given was answer enough.

"You will know who you can trust," It said.

After a few more moments, Ed nodded slowly. "Okay. I'll do this stupid favor for You, but You have to hold up Your end!"

The Truth's grin was more frightening than it had been before, matching up perfectly with the one It had showed him when he was a child. "Of course I will, poor bastard." The Gate behind Ed opened swiftly and the black arms of the Gatekeepers pulled him back, "Good luck, little alchemist."

Edward knew better than to struggle. Unlike in The Truth's realm, he could feel pain in here. The pain of the Knowledge of another world was unbearable and certainly would have killed him if he hadn't been Through the Gate before. Though, the Knowledge pouring into him was significantly more than the Knowledge that he had paid for before. He couldn't stop the scream that ripped from his throat.

***

The Truth watched as Edward Elric's Gate closed. It had presented the deal as though it were Equivalent, but It knew that wasn't the case. In order for Its end of this little deal to measure up with what the Little Alchemist was doing for it, The Truth would have to give him more knowledge as well as his little brother's body and his arm and leg. The knowledge and memories Edward would acquire on the other side of the Gate would fill out the rest of the Equivalence. If Edward answered The Truth's question correctly then it might be so inclined to add something to the growing stack of Equivalence.

The Truth smiled again. "I wonder how this will play out."

***

Edward didn't know how to feel when he opened his eyes again. On one hand, he was no longer in pain from the Gate, nor was he bleeding out from his most recent injury. He still felt a small twinge of pain when he moved wrong, though. On the other hand, he wasn't in the mineshaft, so that meant his meeting with The Truth hadn't been a dream and he really did have the complete Knowledge of another world in his head. Of course, now was the time to freak out about the entire situation.

Taking deep breaths, he kept his eyes open and focused on what was in front of him. It was a red cushioned bench. Was he on a train? Maybe. "Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium, Boron," he muttered slowly, "Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen, Fluorine," It was slow going, but he was calming down. "Neon, Sodium, Magnesium," He tapped the middle finger and thumb on his right hand together. "Aluminum, Silicon," Breath in through the nose, "Phosphorus," He coughed a bit, "Why the hell does it smell like cider? Better question, why the hell does it taste like cider?"

Now calmer, Edward took a better look around the compartment. And wasn't that weird. Trains didn't usually have compartments unless you got first class seating. And, judging on the muffled noise outside the door, he was in common class seating. Odd, but not overly so. On the rack above his head, he found a trunk with his name on it. Pulling it down, setting it on the seat next to him, and opening it it, he found a note on top of a black cloth.

Little Alchemist, Along with the Knowledge you got when you went Through, I've also given you everything you'll need while there. Money is in the leather pouch, your wand is in your pocket with your watch, and your books and other school supplies are all in your trunk with extra clothes and robes. Anything else, you'll have to buy yourself. Have fun as a third year, poor bastard, you'll be surrounded by thirteen year olds.

"How nice of It." Ed folded the note and tucked it away. Then, he ripped it open to re-read it. "The hell does it mean 'school supplies?!" Ed hadn't been to a proper school since before his mom died, so why the hell did The Truth think it was a good idea to send him to one? On top of that, why is he with the thirteen year olds?! He takes it back. The Truth isn't nice at all. Not in the slightest. "If this is You calling me short..." he threatened loosely.

Unfortunately, Ed knew there wasn't really anything he could do aside from take it in stride. He was good at that. So, putting the note away for good, he searched his pockets for his watch and wand. He didn't get far, though, because he finally realised what he was wearing. He still had on his black leather pants, his black elevator boots, and his cropped black jacket, but he was now wearing a white undershirt, a yellow tie, and black dress thing - a robe, his mind supplied - with gold trimming. What the hell? A look into his trunk confirmed the existence of more of these robes, one of which had been directly under the note. At least they were black. Quickly, Ed took off the robe he was wearing, but left the tie. A glance at the emblem - a UK badger - had his mind telling him that it was for the Hufflepuff House, whatever that was.

In his left pocket, he found his State Alchemist watch and his wand with a leather holster and another note. He fastened the holster under his sleeve and to his left forearm and stowed the wand there. Next, he read the note.

Little Alchemist, Your wand is 13 inches, yew wood, with a core of Thestral Hair. Yew wands are said to give their wielder more power over life and death than other wand woods and is more attracted to the Dark Arts. The Thestral Hair core is unstable at best and will only work for those who have accepted death.

'Great,' he scowled, shoving the note into his trunk with the other one, 'Another constant reminder of my mistakes.' Even in a completely different world, his greatest mistake haunts him.

Accepting it with a huff, he shoved the robes he'd woken up in into the trunk and pulled out a book - quickly checking for his own journal and sighing when he found it in the inner pocket of his cropped jacket - and opened it to read. He stopped short at the new language that was registering in his brain. "What the fuck?" The new language - English - had probably been forced into his mind while coming Through. Making a conscious effort, Edward spoke in Amestiran, "Was soll der Scheiß?" Again, the passing Knowledge that this world's equivalent to his home language was called German jumped to the front of his mind. "That's going to take some getting used to." Pushing everything else aside, he opened the book and began to read Spellman's Syllabary.

***

Three books later, Edward forced himself pulled back into reality. The textbooks he read were strange. The first was a study of this worlds Runes, some of which he had studied as a kid in alchemy books. The next was about Potions, he had a feeling that he was going to like that class; The third was about the Wizarding World's history, it was interesting to compare the Knowledge he'd gotten coming Through to what was being taught; The last was about Transfiguration, and he decided then and there that he would not be attending that class at all, no matter the consequences.

Blinking as he closed the book, he found he was no longer alone in the compartment. "Who the hell are you?" were the first words he said to anyone since his arrival.

The boy across from him shifted nervously in his seat, not meeting Ed's eye as he seemed to shrink in on himself. "I-I'm sorry. It's just, everywhere else was-was full, and-and-" he stopped only to restart a different sentence, "I asked if-if I could sit here- Everywhere else is full and the train started moving and- I'm really sorry!"

"Hold on," Edward cut the kid off from speaking anymore, "It's fine. I get caught up in my own little world when I'm reading."

The brown haired boy took a deep breath, still not looking away from his hands, and pressing himself as far away from Ed as he could. His robes were crimson and ruby red where Ed's were yellow and gold. "I'm sorry." he squeaked again.

"You have nothing to apologise for."

"Yes I do. We-we don't know each other. Why would you ever let me sit here?" He stood and reached for his own trunk, "I-I'll just go sit somewhere else-"

"Stop." Ed ordered, his tone leaving no room for discussion, "Sit your ass back down. I'm fine with you being in here. I really don't care."

"But-but, I'm a Gryffindor and you're a Hufflepuff."

"So?"

"'So'?"

"Yeah, 'So?'. Why should I care about that? You're just sitting here."

"But-!"

"I'm Edward. Call me Ed."

The boy seemed like he wanted to say something, but he allowed the conversation to turn were Ed led it. "Neville Longbottom, though you probably already knew that." He did know that, but not for any reason Neville could come up with. "You're really okay with me staying?"

"Yes."

He slowly sat back down. "I don't remember seeing you around school before. Are you new?"

This question made Ed pause for a second. Nothing was telling him this kid was untrustworthy, but that didn't mean he'd tell him anything. Though, an ally would do him good. "Yeah, I'm new." Now, he was relying on what the Gate had given him. "I was sorted only a bit ago, so I don't really care about the Houses or whatever. I'm thinking about not telling anyone I'm new, though, see if I can trick everyone, y'know?"

Neville gave a small smile. Maybe there was a chance of befriending this kid? "That'd be funny."

Edward smiled, too, "You'll help me?"

"Of course!" He didn't know why, but Neville found this kid - Edward - easy to be around. He hadn't stuttered much this whole conversation and Ed was even asking him to help prank the whole school! But, that wouldn't last long. Once Ed found out how terrible at everything he is, he'll leave like everyone else.

"Hey," Ed asked, "What's wrong?"

"I just don't want to get my hopes up," Neville said shyly, "Once you realise how stupid I am, you'll not want to be around me."

Ed frowned. "Don't talk like that."

"Huh?"

"Self deprecation will get you nowhere. We're friends now, so I'm gonna help you work on that, okay?" Having a friend sounded nice. Besides, this kid is really easy to relax around. He was only ever able to relax like this around Al, but this kid was so similar to his brother that it was honestly a little scary.

"Friends? Are we really..?" A look from the blond made the brunet smile again. He didn't have friends. Acquaintances, sure, but not friends. "What're you reading?"

"The textbooks." Was the answer, "I didn't have time to read them over the summer, so I figured I'd read them now."

Neville nodded, agreeing to the logic, "Have you read the Herbology one yet?"

"No, but I can?" he offered.

A grin. "I want you're thoughts on this year's course when you're done." he sat back, "I'll wait."

Chuckling, Edward muttered, "Yes, sir," with a two fingered salute and a smirk as he began reading. It wasn't going to take him long to finish it, he knew, but his interest in whatever Neville had to say on the subject made him read slightly faster than normal.

***

The discussion on Herbology lasted from the third hour of the train ride - two o'clock in the afternoon - up until an hour before the sunset at seven o'clock. The train had come to a screeching and quick halt, cutting off any and all cheerful conversations and replacing them with collective confusion. The stop had also jolted everyone on the train, throwing most from or against their seats.

"What do you think is going on?" Neville asked his blond friend.

"I don't know," Edward stood from his seat, "But I'm going to-"

A sudden chill made itself known to the two boys. Their warm breaths became visible in the cold air and the glass of the windows quickly frosted over. Edward was thankful that he had winter automail on because he did not want to deal with frostbite, thank you. All sounds, muffled or otherwise, were muted over by a loud silence. Even their own breathing made little to no noise. Then, Neville started to tremble.

"Neville?" The boy in question had his hands loosely covering his ears and his eyes were wide and unfocused, seeing something Ed could not. He fell to his knees as tears started to fall from his eyes "Neville!" Edward recognised a flashback when he saw one. He'd seen some of the older soldiers have flashbacks to the Ishvalan War and was glad the fighting and war efforts hadn't reached Resembol outside of Winry's parents leaving and refugees joining the town.

A boney, charred black hand made itself known on the glass window of the door with a quiet tap, the window around the hand turning white with the cold, but the handprint stayed clear with an illusion of warmth. Slowly, the door opened and the owner of the hand was in full visibility, despite the cold seeming to fog everything else over with a thick mist. It was covered in a black cloak that hung so far and so loose that Ed couldn't tell if the thing was floating or standing. The hood covered where it's face should be and the sleeves seemed to be it's arms, falling over the things hands.

'A Dementor.' The Knowledge the Gate had forced into his head supplied, 'You're wand is protecting you.' Yew wood had power over life and death, so it was therefore able to protect against beings such as this one. The thestral hair core only seemed to amplify this. The words Expecto Patronum entered his mind.

Ed hadn't ever seen anything like this before, let alone faced something like it, so he was having a hard time overcoming his shock. When he did, though, he pulled Neville into a hug without turning his back on the creature. His wand fell from it's holster and into his left hand and he whispered the spell he was told. "Expecto Patronum!" His given Knowledge about the spell let him know that it was incredibly difficult to produce. It uses the castor's happiest memory as fuel to fend off Dementors, who feed off of misery. The happier the memory, the stronger the spell. The surprise Ed felt when a fully corporeal Patronus came into existence to push the Dementor out and away was immense. When the dark creature was gone, Ed watched as the glowing tiger made of silvery light approached and laid itself around him and Neville. A sense of calm overtook the train compartment and Ed found he could breathe easier. The room started to warm up with the Dementor now gone.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked Neville quietly once the boy had stopped trembling.

"I-I" he gulped, "I think so." He pulled away from Edward slightly, not noticing the tiger wrapped around him yet. "What was that thing?"

"A Dementor." Ed found a small bit of amusement that his companion hadn't noticed the silver magic yet.

Confused at why the blond was smiling, Neville started to ask why, but stopped short when he noticed the glowing tiger that he was somehow leaning against. It had wrapped itself around the two, it's tail going behind Edward and its head beside Neville. "What-"

"My Patronus, apparently," The tiger acknowledged the two with a nod - as if satisfied that they were now alright - before disappearing.

"You can cast the Patronus Charm?!" Neville had seen it mentioned in passing in a few books he's read, but, as far as he knew, it was a NEWT level spell! They wouldn't be learning that until Sixth Year!

"Apparently. That was my first time doing it." And using magic. Edward patted himself on the back for a job well done on the first try. Neville didn't need to know that part, though.

"You know what the tiger means, right?"

"It means something?"

"Of course it does!" Neville shook Ed by the shoulders, "The tiger means strength and cunning and majesty and independance and immortality. How did you not know that?"

Ed's brain short circuited. There was several things to unpack there, but the one he was focused on was the whole 'immortality' thing. What the fuck?

"You good?" Neville's voice pulled him back from his mind.

"Am I alright? I should be asking you that!" He lowered his voice. "You had a flashback."

Neville shook his head. "I don't really wanna talk about it." That made sense. He wasn't going to push. "Well, should we go see what's going on?" Edward smiled and nodded, helping the brunet up after standing himself.

There was a knock on the door. "Everything okay in here?" a man's voice called from the other side of the door.

Ed opened it, "Yeah, we're good."

"Who're you?" Neville asked from over Ed's shoulder. He was a whole four inches taller than the blond, much to the latter's irritation.

The man pulled chocolate out of his jacket pocket and handed a bar to the boys. "That was a Dementor." Then, he paused for a second and looked around the compartment. "Did either of you cast the Patronus Charm?"

Edward crossed his arms. "Who are you?"

The man seemed to size the two up for a second. "I'm Remus Lupin, your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor this year."

"Cool. Never heard of you." Neville gasped and backed up a few steps, obviously surprised at Ed's gall.

Remus laughed, "No, I suppose you haven't. Now, did you two cast a Patronus?"

"Yeah?" Ed raised an eyebrow, "How did you know?"

"Good job," he sent a quick glance to Ed's tie, "Ten points to Hufflepuff. The Patronus Charm leaves a kind of residue in the air. Lingering happiness, you could say."

"Huh. Cool."

"Anyway, I need to go check on the rest of the students. Be sure to change into your robes before we get to the school." Then, he walked away.

Ed closed the door and snickered.

"What're you laughing at?" Neville asked, a weak glare in his eyes. Edward had some audacity talking to a teacher like that! Though, Neville supposed it was a nice change. He wasn't gonna admit that out loud, though.

"His name." Ed moved away from the door and sat back in his seat.

Neville sat across from him again. "What about his name?"

"It means," he started to laugh again. "It means 'Wolf Wolf'." The Knowledge he'd gotten had included the myths of this world. The one he was thinking of was of Remus and Romulus of Rome. They had been raised by the wolf Lupa. "If that man has nothing to do with wolves, I'll eat my boots."

Neville giggled, "I'd pay ten galleons to see that."

"Oh, you're on!" The two shook hands as the train began moving again.

***

When Edward read 'school' on the note The Truth had left for him, he was expecting something closer to the ones back home, like a building no taller than three floors. Not a whole ass village. When he expressed this to Neville, the boy told him the the village - Hogsmeade - was not the school, before leading him over to the carriages. Most students, Ed noticed, were ignoring the horses altogether. The few that saw them gave them a wide berth. He wasn't about that. He walked right up to one, dragging Neville with him, and patted it's side.

"What is it?" Neville asked.

"A thestral." he answered.

Tentatively, Neville reached out to pet the horse as well. "It's beautiful." The two soon had to leave the thestrals and jumped into the carriage. They didn't say much as they waited to arrive at the school, though they were joined by a blond in royal and sapphire blue robes before they started moving.

Again, Edward's first image of a school was maybe three floors in a very rectangular building. Not a damn castle. He barely refrained from expressing his excitement in front of his extra companion. Though, he did have the information Given to him come to the forefront of his mind for a moment, just long enough to skim through the history of the building. It was a lot and it would be sorted through later.

"You don't have to hold back," the girl said, "I know you're new here."

"Are you sure I'm new?" Edward asked her, "There's a lot of kids here, you could have just overlooked me before."

"Quite sure." she nodded, "The wrackspurts that like to stay at the school haven't gotten to you yet." Her ice blue eyes gleamed for a moment. "My name's Luna Lovegood."

"Edward, but you can call me Ed."

"Nice to meet you, Ed. Neville."

The brunet squeaked. "Um, hi."

Luna giggled, "We haven't met before, but your reputation proceeds you, as does mine."

Neville blink dumbly before saying, "Loony?"

She smiled, "Yes,"

"Oh, my god!" Neville covered his mouth in mild horror, "I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay." She didn't seem to mind.

While the two students who weren't on their first day of school conversed, Edward had let himself openly - but quietly - gawk at the castle that was apparently a school. At first, he had to do a double take. Why would they be going to a bunch old ruins? But then the focus of the world seemed to shift and he couldn't help himself. He'd never seen a castle in person but this was a fantastic first impression on him. Now he could hold bragging rights over Mustang! Though, he wasn't sure if the tingling in his ports was natural. He couldn't very well ask the two because they obviously had all their limbs. The closer he got to the castle, he noticed, the more alarm bells started to go off in his head. Then, the tingling got worse.

"Ed?" Neville called, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah.." was his distracted answer. He rubbed his right shoulder port with his left hand, "..yeah."

"Are you sure?" Luna asked, her eyes on his right hand.

Before he could answer, his head erupted into a splitting headache and he doubled over, gripping his head in his left hand. 'What the hell is happening?!' He wondered. There was a quiet voice screaming at him to get out and leave, trying to force excuses into his head. The tingling in his ports turned to a stabbing pain, rendering his right arm and left leg useless

"This is a violent reaction to the wards," Luna said, though Ed couldn't be sure he really heard her.

Neville was chewing on his bottom lip, "Why, though? He was perfectly fine on the train."

"Is he a muggle or a squib?"

"No. He performed magic on the train when the Dementor entered the cart."

"Hmm. This is a problem."

Ed came back into focus about then, the pain in his head down to a tolerable hum and his automail ports only feeling slightly heavier than normal. He methodically moved all the joints in his automail that he could, just ot make sure everything was in working order, not that he could actually move them again. "What...the hell was that?"

Luna sat back in her seat, though she was no less concerned than before. "The wards. I don't think the castle likes you very much."

"Why wouldn't the castle like him?" Neville was wondering several things she could have ment, but he was going to try and stay on track for now. He could ask more questions later.

She humed. "Hogwarts doesn't like muggles. Squibs like Mr. Filch are tolerable, though. She must really dislike you for some reason."

"I'm sorry," Ed said, "'She'?"

"The castle."

"Okay. Yeah. Yeah, okay." Maybe he has lost it. He got hit in the head and he's lost his mind. That's the only explanation for whatever was going on. Apparently sentient castles were a thing now? Great. Fantastic.

"Either way," Neville chimed in, leaving the matter of the Hogwarts' apparent sentience for a later date, "Do you think you'll be okay for the Welcome Feast?" Then, he backtracked to when his first conversation with the blond. "Actually, what year are you?"

Ed's eyebrow twitched. He's fifteen years old, damn it, so why is he being but with people two years younger?! He huffed quietly. "Third year."

Neville brightened up. "That's my year!" Then, he deflated, "But we're not in the same House."

"So?" he still couldn't wrap his mind around the whole 'House Rivalry' thing going on despite the reasons having been shoved straight into his head. "What House we're in shouldn't matter."

"You want to make the whole school thing you're on your third year here, yes?" Luna asked, though neither boy was sure how she found out about that little plan, "Then just play into that. Don't go out of your way to interact with each other, and no one will suspect a thing."

"Nah," Ed turned down. He didn't like the idea of shoving Neville aside to keep up appearances. "I'll just play into the Hufflepuff House Traits." Yes, he knew enough about those to recite them in his sleep. "Justice, loyalty, patience, and propensity for hard word. We're friends now. I don't leave people behind."

Luna smiled, "Well, I don't know how much help I'll be, but-"

Ed cut her off. "Hey, as far as I'm concerned, we're friends now, too. Besides, you seem interesting."

"Thank you. You're interesting as well."

Neville was going to stop questioning anything now. Though, he had to admit that they made a pretty fun group, despite only having just met each other. Friends. What a weird concept.

"Now," Ed said as the carriage came to a stop near the castle, "let's go back to the reputation thing. You both have proceeding reputations? I'll have to step up my game. I've been here for two years and people are only just noticing me?" He clicked his tongue and shook his head, "A damn shame."

The two laughed, fully intent on playing along with this endeavor of tricking the whole school. Luna still hadn't told them how she found out about that. "Anther time, Ed. You know which table you're going to?"

"The yellow one, right?"

"That's the one!"

"Okay. I'll see you two later?"

"Of course."

Now alone, Ed took a second to look around at the flood of students heading up to the castle. They'd pretty much all sectioned themselves off into four main groups. Red, yellow, blue, and green. The red and green groups were all sneering at each other and were being separated by the yellow and blue kids. And, based on everything he'd been Given when he came Through the Gate, he was going to have to tread carefully. Politics. Ew. Despite all reservations, he joined the yellow group and followed them into the castle.

The Entry Hall was just has grand as the rest of the castle, and very sparsely decorated. The doors in front of him were tall and opened on their own to let the flood of students into the Grand Hall. It was beautifully decorated, but Ed wasn't quite sure he liked the ceiling. It was amazing, nonetheless. The five tables were arranged in a way that basically promoted against Inter-House relationships. The teacher's table was fine, but the four House Tables were all separated quite obviously, and the banners above them only amplified this. With a huff, Ed sat down at the end of the yellow table. The Hufflepuffs around him didn't seem to take notice of him. Good. All the better for gaslighting the staff and student body.

A few minutes after everyone had sat down, a stool was placed in front of the teacher's table. An old pile of cloth sat on top of it. Then, the doors to the Great Hall opened once again and a stern looking teacher - Professor McGonagall, Ed's mind supplied - walked in, a gaggle of obviously nervous kids following after her. That was how the Sorting Ceremony started.

***

It took an hour, but every single one of the first years had been sorted between the four Houses. It was off-putting for Ed to see the absolute disgust or rage or other negative emotions on the students' faces when someone was sorted into a House that wasn't their own. Seriously, why are they all getting so upset about a kid being placed where they'd fit in best? He didn't outtwordly react, though.

All the House tables had ranging reactions to each placement, but Hufflepuff had the least negative out of all of them. The Slytherins sneered at everyone who wasn't with them, especially if they were sorted into Gryffindor. The Gryffindors returned the favor. The Ravenclaws weren't nearly as bad as the other two, but they did avoid watching anyone walk to their table. They didn't make a sound when anyone was sorted into Hufflepuff, though. The Hufflepuffs, clapped politely for everyone, but there were a few that they didn't clap for. They were mostly Ravenclaws.

According to the Gate, it was Gryffindor versus Slytherin and Hufflepuff versus Ravenclaw. The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws got along, while the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs got along. None of them actually went out of their way to interact, but classes styled like that were normally more productive than a Gryffindor and Slytherin class.

Ed was gonna change that. Maybe. It was on his list now that he'd met Luna and Neville, but it wasn't a priority. More of, if it happens, it happens.

"I welcome you all, whether you are returning for another year or you are only just coming in, to Hogwarts for another year or learning." the old man in the middle of the staff table said. Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, he knew from the Gate, was wearing obnoxious pink robes with his beard tucked into the blue belt. "I only have one thing to say to you all, now that you've been seated: Tuck in!"

Upon his command, dishes and food and drink appeared on all the tables, covering the wood to the point it could hardly be seen. Everyone started to serve themselves as conversation erupted throughout the room, engulfing it into a cacophony of sound and movement that was, in all honesty, overwhelming Ed.

"Hey," someone said from next to him, their voice quiet against everything else, making it stand out ot his ear more, "Are you okay? You look a bit pale."

Ed pushed an answer out of his throat in a voice equally as quiet. "Yeah," he lied, "This is my third year and I'm still not used to this much noise."

The kid, Cedric, he recognised from the Gate, nodded, "Yeah, I get that. When we get back to the dorms, we can put a silencing charm over your bed curtains."

"Isn't there already a silencing charm on them?"

"Yeah, but that's just to muffle the sound going in or out. I'll put one on that'll completely silence the noise going in."

That didn't sound to bad. "Edward Elric," he introduced himself as he finally began to get himself food. Despite what Mustang believed, he did have manners. He just doesn't use them around the bastard because he sees no reason to.

Cedric also began eating. "Cedric Diggory." They let the conversation sit for a second, the fifth year student was making sure to be quiet. It didn't to a lot in the grand scheme of the room, but the sentiment was appreciated. "Forgive me, but I don't recognise you. Are you a visiting student?"

Ed shook his head, the lie coming easy to him, "No, I've been here, since year one. I just don't like to draw attention usually."

Cedric raised an eyebrow. "Really? You don't seem the type."

"Huh?"

"You're," he gestured vaguely at Ed, "vibe, I guess. It basically screams for attention." Ed didn't say anything. Cedric flinched. "Right, sorry, that was rude of me." he cleared his throat, "Are you going to hide yourself in the background again this year, or are you going to try and make friends?"

Ed pretended to think for a moment before answering, "I made some friends on the train earlier."

"Oh? That's good."

"Yeah. If we ever want to spend time outside of classes, though, it's inevitable we'll draw attention to ourselves."

"Oh?" he said again, "And why's that?"

"We're all in different Houses."

"Ah. Yeah, I can see where the problem lies."

Before their conversation could continue, the food and drinks and dishes were taken from the table. "House elves." Ed muttered under his breath.

Headmaster Dumbledore stood from his seat again and cleared his throat, calling everyone's attention to him. Once every student was looking at the old man, he smiled with a twinkle in his eye as his gaze moved from student to student. Ed made sure to not meet the man's eyes. "As always, a wonderful feast." he began, "Before I send you off to your beds, there a a few things to be announced and reminded. The Forbidden Forest is, to those who do not wish to die a most gruesome death, forbidden. Mr. Filch has asked me to remind you all that a list of prohibited objects ha been posted to his office door on the second floor." He turned slightly to the left side of the staff table. "I would like to introduce you all to this year's Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Professor Remus Lupin." Ed was giggling behind his hand while everyone clapped. The man stood, waved a bit, then sat back down. Dumbledore continued, "Classes begin tomorrow at eight in the morning. I wish you all a good night."

Again, the room became very loud very quickly. Cedric shot Ed an apologizing look. "I'll met you in the common room, okay?" Ed nodded as the brunet stood and called for the first years to follow him.

Ed Knew where he was going, but he didn't really know. So, he followed everyone else as they left the Great Hall. He made sure to make himself seem small - because he was not small - as he walked in the middle of the crowd. Cedric and someone else had taken the first years on a different route, so he resigned himself to being surrounded by people he's never met before in his life. Which ones are his dorm-mates, he wonders. He doesn't really care to know at the moment.

The group of students wearing yellow accented robes wandered down to the basement - a floor above the dungeons - and to the kitchens. At least, near the kitchens. One of the boys at the head of the group tapped the barrel two from the bottom of the stack twice, then thrice, muttering 'Helga Hufflepuff' as he did so. The passage opened up and the Hufflepuffs all filed into the common room.

The room was very cozy and smelled like freshly cut grass and rain and burning firewood and freshly baked bread. Overall, it felt like home did. The earthy tones to the room only amplified this fact. The ceiling was white marble, the floor was off-white tile with a dark green mosaic in the middle, and the walls were off-white and light grey bricks. Wooden supports pillared up in a few places, even scattered about, and were connected at the top by arches. The room itself was round and very big. There were two wooden staircases leading up to the second floor landings, separating the male and female dorms. Alcloves took up the walls of the room, filled with bookshelves and couches and matching chairs and darker area rugs. A large fireplace took up the wall directly opposite the door, the space in front occupied by several more armchairs and couches. There was an area with only bean-bag chairs and Ed decided that he needed to get one of those in his own world. Aside from pictures that had been hung up, the bulletin board by the door, and the furniture, plants took up every available space. Round windows lining the top of the walls and warm lanterns hanging from the rafters completed the room.

Everyone settled into the common room nicely. No one went to their rooms yet, so it was a bit crowded. Not overly so, though. For Hogwarts being the only magic school in Britain, there weren't a lot of students.

About ten minutes later, the two House Prefects for Hufflepuff brought the First Years in. Everyone was very friendly to them, and they all quickly warmed up to each other and their Housemates. Eventually, though, the older years started to taper off into their rooms. Ed followed Cedric into the Third Year boys' dorms.

"So," Cedric said, "I see the common room wasn't too loud for you?"

Ed shook his head "Nope. It was a manageable level. Besides, it feels like I've come home after a long trip." Well, the common room felt like how he imagines it would be like when he and Al went back to Resembool after they get their bodies back.

Cedric frowned slightly, but ultimately didn't say anything. He quickly finished the charms on Ed's bed curtains before turning back to the blond with a smile. "Well, if you need anything, feel free to ask me or your roommates or anyone else in the House. Professor Sprout is also more than happy to talk to her students."

Ed smiled softly at the older boy, "You act like it's my first day," It was, but he wasn't going to tell Cedric that. Not now, at least. Maybe a different time.

"Of course," the brunet smiled back, "Right." he went to the door, "Well, I'll let ya get some sleep. See you in the morning?"

"Yeah," the blond nodded, "See ya then."

The door closed and Ed found himself alone in the room. It was hexagonal in shape, the floor was off-white tile, the walls off-white and light grey bricks, and the ceiling was white brick. The wall trim was carved wood, matching the rafters and corner beams and door, and climbed two feet up the wall. The beds were all four-posted with soft yellow blankets, white sheets and pillowcases, and had black and gold bed curtains. To the right of each bed was a wooden nightstand with three drawers. On the left was a dresser with five drawers. Trunks sat at the end of each bed, and a yellow rug with the Hufflepuff coat of arms on it covered most of the floor.

Ed easily found his trunk and bed, closing the curtains around him before he let himself get comfortable. It was weird, laying in this bed. It seemed to solidify the fact in his mind that this was real. He's in a new world, far away from anything familiar and safe. Magic is everywhere, and all laws of Equivalence are ignored! He didn't think he'd be able to sleep, so he grabbed a book from his trunk and started to read, mumbling to himself the whole while.

***

He must've fallen asleep at some point because his pocket watch was now telling him that it was now five in the morning. Ed sighed and dragged a hand down his face before taking his hair from the braid he'd slept in. It was still early, so he'd have the bathroom to himself for a while. Good, because he hadn't had a shower in days and he was feeling dirty. His hair was also getting oily and it was not a pleasant feeling.

#fma #harry potter #fanfiction #crossover #fma x hp #I started this on WattPad #now I write on Ao3 and haven't posted this anywhere #I'm very proud of this one and it will be going on Ao3 at some point #just not right now #this is all you're getting btw #have fun #hope you like it #There is an audience for this #I swear

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