#just personal shitposting

[theharlotofferelden]

Genuinely loved the experience of being at camp for the first time and seeing all the companions with their tits out like they're all gonna go clubbin or some shit

Then there’s Gale

Who's just. So utterly swagless that his clothes smell like dusty old books. My man doesn't give a fuck about the drip he's getting his ass ready for bed

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate iii #gale dekarios #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate gale #game: baldur's gate 3 #c: gale #i am once again shitposting about gale #he's just a guy #just a silly lil guy #personal: my posts #dragon age #personal: shitpost #post so good it was stolen by a popular blogger #pinning this post until i make a new art piece #i made that work of eufemia back in 2021 it's been like 3 years lmao

[elodieunderglass]

changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.

I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.

Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.

No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.

But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?

#this is the sort of observation I make here that people #go off and write their thesis about #so while I’m not expecting to be the first or cleverest person to say this #if you do use it as a springboard #tell me if you get a good grade ok? #I’ll be tremendously proud of you #like if you take a shitpost and use it to craft deep attentive thought on something important #I just think that’s probably the most noble use of a human brain #it makes me want to take off my hat and slam it to the ground in inexpressible emotion #it’s a cowboy hat btw #and I say something like GOLDURN IT THAT KID SURE HAS DELIVERED. #ok so don’t deny me this #especially if you correct me after a long research journey #GOLDURN IT THE KID IS RIGHT!

[communistcephalopod]

hypothesis: vampires are magically vulnerable to light originating from the sun

observation: moonlight has no effect on vampires, despite being a reflection of the sun

conclusion: this aversion is not a result of light or its origin, but some property of sunlight only present in direct contact

hypothesis: vampires are extremely sensitive to uv radiation

#the notes are just people pointing out that i'm like the last person to think of this #sorry. i'll try better next time. #vampire #shitpost #dracula daily #are they doing that again this year? #i miss it

[honeypleasejustkillme]

“what’s wrong, talk to me”

“let’s fix this, i can’t lose you”

“we’ll work it out together”

#he’s the only person in my life that has said stuff like this instead of just walking away #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd #bpd shitposting #bpd fp #actually borderline #bpd vent #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd favorite person #green flags

[smoothriverrocksrock]

#These two have such interesting dynamics throughout the whole franchise and I love seeing all the interpretations #this one’s just a personal favorite #Starscream #Transformers #maccadam #me shitposts mateys

[cannibalovers]

"Hannibal, stop stabbing ppl for buying me drinks."

#i love this picture an insane amount #so much that i gotta post about it #just hugh dancy but gotta make it hannibal related yk #still thinking about that “hannigram go to bars and cannibalise the first person that flirts with them” fanfic idea #thanks whoever put that idea in my silly head i can't get it out now #nbc hannibal #hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannibal tv show #will graham #hugh dancy #hannigram #shitpost #images #hannibal cast #my post

[moonlightdancer26]

Snape haters: How do people even like Snape?

Also Snape:

“Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. Ghosts are transparent.”

*****

“Would you like me to do it now?” asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. “Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?”

*****

“I was just showing Harry my grindylow,” said Lupin pleasantly, pointing at the tank.

“Fascinating,” said Snape, without looking at it.

*****

As Harry raised himself into a sitting position, his head still swimming from its last contact with the ground, he saw Snape running as hard as he could, the enormous beast [Buckbeak] flapping behind him and screeching as Harry had never heard him screech —

. . . Snape had managed to Disapparate just beyond the school’s boundaries.

*****

Snape gave her [Umbridge] an ironic bow and turned to leave.

*****

“The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter — or at least, most minds are.” He smirked.

*****

“Potter, when I want nonsense shouted at me I shall give you a Babbling Beverage. And Crabbe, loosen your hold a little, if Longbottom suffocates it will mean a lot of tedious paperwork, and I am afraid I shall have to mention it on your reference if ever you apply for a job.”

#what if i told you snape had that dawg in him #snape outrunning a hippogriff has to be the most iconic thing anyone has ever done #like it’s actually insane how jkr expected us to just get over that #like ma’am #he just #outran #a HIPPOGRIFF #without even harming it #keep in mind that he just killed the only person who knew of his loyalties and was a 36 year old guy #he does all this crazy shit with such casuality #anyway i’ll never move on from that bc my fave just casually outran a hippogriff???? what has YOUR fave achieved in life?? #he is such a little shit i love him sm #severus snape #pro snape #pro severus snape #snape #harry potter #hp #shitpost

[atmothart]

Wouldn't lizard fashion be something like spikes and scales and a frilled lizard collar?

Like so?

(Bonus art under the cut)

#thank you anon I've been wanting to draw proper lizard fashion for a while and this gave me the motivation I needed #dracula daily #re: dracula #dracula #lizard fashion #The colours I chose here make Drac look like Harry Du Bois - which is appropriate given how I tend to depict his personality in my shitpost #bonus under the cut featuring Dracula's Weed Smorking Girlfriends #personally I really like the theory that the three vampire women are actually dracula's wife and two daughters #since the book never actually calls them his wives and the two subordinate girls are specifically described as looking similar to him #the idea that he turned his family but is no longer capable of loving them (or being loved by them) adds a whole extra layer for me #because he still goes through the motions - goes out to get them food (babies) and provide for them/fulfil the role of a patriarch #but its hollow and loveless and done out of strange obligation/habit - like an echo of being alive #BUT for the sake of comedy I will always draw them as his three weed smorking girlfriends because it's just funnier #or rather as I like to think of them - his three weed smoking EX-girlfriends who spend all day making fun of him and and freeloading #I'm going to tag any art with them in it from here on out as #the ex-wives of dracula #he's going to england to escape their ridicule

[monowires]

do u think in TES shock/electric mages take the role of defibrillators. like imagine ur fucking dying and the healer just goes “CLEAR” and some weird wizard guy just comes up and jumpstarts ur heart

#johnny.txt #tes #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #tesblr #shitpost #they have to be intuitive okay?? #personally i think it’d be badass to get zapped back into normal shape by a wizard #but that’s just me

[sparring-spirals]

imogen fumbling shit is just eternally good fodder for memes, alright. and its at least partly BECAUSE of how powerful she is. someone tripping while using a nerf gun? funny. someone dramatically hoisting up an outfit matchin heavy death laser gun and then immediately tripping and landing on their face? phenom. sometimes she goes "GROVEL" and the enemies grovel and we all go "oooooh" and "aaaahhh" and sometimes she just gets fully ignored and gets so huffy and petulant and ineffectually burns a cantrip just to be petty about it. sometimes she smites her enemies into dust with one move and renders a tree in half after threatening and other times she fucking. falls down a flight of stairs and accidentally sets everything on fire. fires a gun at her own team. loses all her hair. turns blue. etc.

Imogen lifts a humongous sand squid into the sky with her mind powers. Imogen is also falling out of a sky ship and landing on the desert sand far below and just. lying there. while her friend plays the flute in the background. epic hot failgirls NEED the HEIGHT to FAIL FROM. u gotta swing and miss sometimes!!! AND you gotta be REAL petty about it when u miss!!!! fucking fantastic.

#its like how fjord with no dignity is fantastic because fjord is Hot and Charismatic and ClearHeaded under pressure but also #has never had a good experience with an animal despite being wild mother follower. tried to yell a flower into submission (and failed). #u have to take ur hottest and most powerful warriors and make them eat shit every now and then with the same zealousness that they #absolutely wreck shop #I apologize I know I've reblogged like four posts about it its just so delightful #critical role #c3e58 #cr spoilers #imogen temult #shitpost #spar speaks #god with fjord and imogen there's just something about extremely powerful anxiety ridden Universes Personal Joke characters huh #whoops. I guess I might have a weakness after all. #theres a separate post about how her fucky morals and general anxiousness also collide hilariously but i realized i was losing the thread #what portion of it i hadnt already lost at least

[theharlotofferelden]

“Gale is so boring” he had a emotional and sexual relationship with a goddess and was so down bad for her that he tried to reclaim a small aspect of her power just to please her and in doing so ended up with a magical bomb in his chest yet that doesn’t keep him from being a kind, slightly condescending, enthusiastic malewife nerd who thinks your dirty ass smells good GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

#bg3 gale #baldur’s gate gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #Baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #baldur’s gate 3 spoilers #baldur’s gate spoilers #personal: shitpost #game: baldur's gate 3 #it’s gale posting hours #look everyone is entitled to their opinion but i gotta wonder what game you played if you're saying this #like this is just a pithy shitpost but the ending i got with Gale is so fucking good #and for the record i didn't romance him i'm just ur regular gale appreciator #don't do my boy dirty like this #personal: my post #personal: my posts

[notwordsspoken]

I used to beg for times like this

#the fact they are using him outside of his relationship is the best thing I could have asked for #I love creek as much as the next person but I missed them being their own characters #Tweek just being there bumped up the special for me 2 whole points #on a real note I really did enjoy it overall #south park #shitpost #sp creek #sp tweek #sp spoilers #not suitable for children

[gophergal]

a meme specific to my interpretations

#gopher rambles #tf2 medic #shitpost #team fortress 2 #tf2 memes #emesis blue #my interpretation of blu team is just as clones with falsified memories that have altered their personalities #all of them are less volatile than their red counterparts but are a less effective team #this is especially noticable with Blu Medic (Friedrich) who is basically just emesis blue medic because I think it's funny #so basically this is Catholic Guilt Medic vs Agnostic God Hater Medic. Red Medic (Ludwig) believes that if god is real they're mutual hater

[honeypleasejustkillme]

had to edit this one but basically :)

#i’d like to think all things aside i’m a sweet lil boy just trying to find his place in the world #bpd shitposting #actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd #bpd fp #actually borderline #bpd favorite person #bpd vent #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd meme #bpd memes

[von-karmas-a-bitch]

#had to take sprites from spriters resource and resize them myself bc the fandom wiki has pathetic excuses for sprite rips lmao #at some point when i can be bothered i may just. make my own webbed site. just to spite the fandom wiki. i hate fandom so much 🩵 #krita is free and so is the magic wand tool guys. idk what ms paint bullshit you all have been doing but it needs to stop #upload better sprite rips i am BEGGING you #anyways time for normal tags now #franmaya #my shitposts #franziska von karma #maya fey #shitpost #ace attorney #edit: i fixed the maya sprite before none bar one person reblogged it thank god #would have been a tad embarrassing to post an imperfect sprite and then go on a tirade abt shitty sprites clogging up my search results 🫥 #there is only one small gap on that maya sprite and it's easy to miss #obviously the magic wand tool did not detect the background colour of the spritesheet WITHIN a sprite oops

[idliketobeatree]

Crowley was God's most dramatic creation.

She was also feeling particularly bitchy and gay that day, and thus, Aziraphale was made.

#anyways. God is a woman going through a hyperfixation and then burning out by the seventh day #good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens god #ineffable spouses #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale #good omens s2 #good omens season 2 #gomens #good omens text post #good omens shitpost #feeling blasphemous today #and i'm tired of pretending these posts don't heal something in me #like. i'm reaching the point where God could be whoever I wanted her to be as a big /fuck you to religious trauma #it's nothing novel or special. just a fun thing to ponder #I'm a firm believer that in the gomens universe She created them as one btw #just as Neil and Terry created Crowley first #and then split their personalities into two #:) #marcela talks