#just rambling out loud here

[lizardlicks]

reading the tags and comments on that last reblog (zuko has sozin's eyes) got me thinking about zuko realizing how much more he looks like ozai every year and every year growing a fucked up, resentful, gratefulness that ozai burned half of it off and how messed up would that be..

#I'm sure I'm not the first one here #just thinking out loud #lizard is starting to ramble #zuko #ozai #atla

[solarpunkani]

Y'know someone's probably waxed poetic about this already but it's on my mind so I'm gonna do it again.

When it comes to encouraging people to learn about native plants and habitat and involving themselves and their yards in the wider ecosystem, you gotta meet them where they're at.

And maybe that means they won't go as far into it as you are or would like them to in your wildest dreams. But even small steps count towards the bigger picture and I think we need to appreciate that more.

An example from my own life is my mom and the current gardening project we're working on. We're planning out the garden beds in the front of the yard by the mailbox--my mom's previous plantings for the most part haven't worked out, so I'm taking a crack at it.

I'm a pollinator gardening enthusiast who cares more about attracting as many butterflies bees and hummingbirds as possible than keeping things 'neat' and 'tidy'. However, not only do we live in an HOA neighborhood (though not as intense as some other stories I've heard), but I know my mother--an interior designer who has a deeply vested care for making sure the exterior of the house looks as Nice as possible.

We're still getting a pollinator garden in the front though. How? I'm meeting her where she's at, I'm making some concessions, she's making some concessions, but ultimately we're making something that works for the both of us. She doesn't want the plants too tall and messy? We'll trim them back in fall and winter--the insects can use the backyard garden to nest in. She doesn't want things too wild and bushy and weedy? We'll add a nice mulch to the beds, keep things a bit spaced out until they grow in to their larger sizes. She doesn't know the latin names for the plants I'm asking for, let alone how to pronounce them to ask for them at a garden center? That's fine, I don't know the Latin names for most things anyways, let's just use common names.

Does she care that the garden will attract butterflies and hummingbirds? Not intrinsically--she sees it as more of a bonus, if anything. She just cares about what color everything will be and if it'll be easy to maintain. The fact that they're native plants barely registers as a plus side to her. And honestly? That is fine.

If I approached this problem with a hardheaded attitude on how I wanted it to be just as wild and free as my backyard garden? There wouldn't be any native plants in the front beds. It's not like I didn't teach my mom things, but I didn't lecture her like she was lesser just for not knowing or caring as much about native gardening as I do. And that, ultimately, made her more open to the idea than she would've been if I looked down on her like I've seen too many people do to others.

Not everyone is going to develop a deeply seated care about native plants and Latin names and I don't think it's reasonable to expect that. Meet people where they're at and you just might get a lot more done. Meet people where they're at and you just might find they'll get excited enough to learn more--but if they don't want to learn more, that is fine.

We can't expect everyone on the globe to suddenly become plant experts rattling off Latin names left and right and professionally ID'ing native and invasive plants. In the same way we wouldn't expect everyone to suddenly learn the ins and outs of learning code, or how to synthesize medicines, or how to properly build a house. And that is fine. Because we can lean on those who do know when these things come up.

I lost track of where this was going but. Y'know????

#out of queue #ani rambles #may delete later #like idk between the CPBD channel and some posts ive seen on here #it feels like a lot of people expect EVERYONE to learn ALL the Latin names for everything and thats just not realistic #Latin names make me fuckin dizzy just hearing them out loud 99% of the time #we can't admonish your everyday homie for referring to things by their common name and not knowing the ins and outs of native gardening #you attract more flies with honey than vinegar. don't look down on people for things they don't know and instead lift them up #thats the best way to get people curious about wanting to learn more #and lead by example. show good results and people will be interested. #i put up a bird feeder for the first time like 2 years ago and just this weekend my mom decided to buy a window feeder because she likes #seeing the birds. does she care about providing habitat for wild creatures? no she just likes seeing the pretty birds. #im not gonna lecture her for not putting up a birdhouse and birdfeeder and just wanting to see the birds??? thats stupid #if she wants to get into more then she'll get into more and if she doesn't even a small contribution is still a contribution yknow? #like if someone's doing something actively/with risk to be harmful by all means talk to them about it but like #dont be fuckin rude guys #im going to bed

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Colours in Our Skyy 2 Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars ep 3

In which I get a little bit more meta than I usually do...

So as we know, this ep was spent mostly in the forest on a few days during which the characters couldn't change clothes, which means there are less colours/clothes to comment on. That being said, the red and blue pairings were provided in all possible places.

Tian's plaid shirt from the night before also has thin red stripes to accompany the blue, and kampung's jersey and Pran's tote bag offer another pairing. I think there's also blue, red and yellow in Kampung's t-shirt. I love that Pran brought his bag with him - despite being lost in the forest, Pat is still metaphorically with him. I think it's also interesting that Pran's shirt looks almost camouflage, and that he mostly wears it when he's taking the lead - looking after Tian on the way to Bull Camp and then accompanying Phupha when Kampung goes missing. Knowing that Pran ends up portraying Phupha in the play - and despite Pran playing Tian in his and Pat's role-playing of the other couple - it's a clever choice in this ep.

Pat, on the other hand, does get a change of clothes at the start of this ep, and with the brown, green, and cream he looks like he's trying to imitate the rangers' uniform to be included in the search party.

Plenty of people have commented on how Pran and Tian have been made to look very similar, especially with their hair, but in the below scene it's so clear how the show is trying to have the characters 'imitate' each other. Pran and Tian are in the same colours, only the white and yellow are reversed in their clothing. Pat and Phupha, as already mentioned, also sporting the same colours. But the mixed-pairings also have similar shoes - Pran and Tian in canvas lace-ups with cream toes/soles, and Pat and Phupha in leather boots. The show is really drilling into us, 'look how similar these people are!', but as we learn from their interactions it seems Pran and Phupha are more alike, as are Pat and Tian (hence why they end up playing those roles in the play).

Once Pat and Tian have made their way back to the village, Pat changes into his teal shorts and a brown shirt. I haven't offered much colour-interpretation yet in this post but in general brown and olive green feature quite heavily this ep, especially with all the camouflage. I think this partly comes more from the atots side of this crossover and the use of earth tones in the original series, but it's incheresting that there's been so. much. talk. about sacrificing arising from this ep. I won't go into it all but they're all dealing with something (or multiple things) they have to yield on or sacrifice.

But Pat here, below, has a moment - a mini-Oh! moment - where he realises he has to yield to himself. Having this 'nonsense' fight with Pran and going through their experiences in Pha Pun Dao has made Pat confront and admit to himself something which he either hasn't realised or has been repressing for a long time - that he can't live without Pran. Yes, Pat has always wanted to be around Pran, he always wants to help him, and he's been depressingly lonely without him...but being unable to live without Pran seems heavier. And this realisation goes beyond acquiescing on the fight with Pran, because it has consequences for the bigger picture of their lives and hiding from their families. And that's scary. So no wonder he's perhaps repressed this from himself, instead feeling easier to tease Pran about him always needing Pat, to bicker about who needs the other the most, and to sit in the nonsense fight rather than acknowledge what it really means.

Incidentally, I like that Pat pulled the watch out of his shorts pocket - the object that Pran links to Pat and the teal that seems to symbolise their union as a couple.

Someone (sorry I don't remember who) mentioned that Pat wears a lot more stripy shirts now than he ever did in BBS, which is potentially an influence from Pran, but I love that they're both wearing their love and happiness when they reunite back at the village. I also sat up at seeing Tian's brown t-shirt with the yellow rectangle over his heart - reminiscent of Pran's long-sleeved top in ep 8 of BBS. Tian is ready to sacrifice himself and his health again to go into the forest to look for Kampung and Phupha, with his love for them driving him to do it. (In ep 8, Pran's love for Pat took him away from drinking with Wai to comfort a sullen Pat).

And then on to that final scene with Pat and Pran and we get Pat in Pran's red and cream/yellow shorts, and Pran in Pat's dark blue (or their teal)...and an ominous dark green. They're finding a resolution to their little fight but it's bittersweet.

Coming back to what I was saying about Pat's Oh! moment above, I think him asking Pran to apply the bruise cream was a way for Pat to admit to himself and Pran, albeit subtly, that he does need Pran, and for Pran to understand that admission. (And I'll quickly say that I don't think Pran needed to be the one to say it first but I'll come back to that below). When Pat gives Pran's watch back, however, he reverts to the teasing "Like I said, you can't live without me", he's trying to keep things jovial. Tian has already told Pran about Pat's realisation though - not to aid any teasing or to bolster one side of the fight, he doesn't seem that type of character (he's not a gremlin like Pat and Pran). No, I think he sees that Pat and Pran need this knowledge open between them and facilitates a way for it to happen. In true PatPran fashion, Pran goads Pat into saying it and Pat's soft look to Pran shows his gratitude to have the opportunity (below). Pat needs to admit it out loud to himself and to Pran - the person to whom it means the most for him to hear it. His sigh before he says it is a relief, it's releasing the hold he's had on his fear about what it might mean for them, and Pran's reaction helps alleviate that.

Pran's "Neither can I" isn't as big and dramatic as Pat's statement, but that's because it's not revelatory, not for Pran (who's known it since he fell for Pat in high school and couldn't get over him even after being sent away and pushing Pat away once they had reunited at Uni), and not for Pat - there was always some truth in Pat's original words, "without me, he can't do anything" and they both know that. Pran wasn't the one who needed to admit to Pat that he needs Pat because it's been known all along. But Pran repeating now, in his own way, that he can't live without Pat helps to strengthen their bond.

This moment is bittersweet because of their situation - there is no option to not be together, they've known this already but now it's been explicitly said, so until their parents can be comfortable with them together they will always be hiding something, making sacrifices. This is their life. They're able to understand that on a deeper level.

With this understanding, Pran, unable to do or say anything else, takes his focus to something tangible: The watch, and what it represents - Pat, his time with Pat, their history and connection from childhood, the gaps when they were separated, and their reuniting in Uni. @btwinlines started off a great thread about how time stops for Pat and Pran when they're apart, but the watch also represents how time might make things easier in the future and that all they can do is hope. And, in the meantime, love each other the best they can through all these little fights they have. It's not a grand resolution for them, like Phupha and Tian get later in the show, because they're not in the same place as the other couple. This is just a snapshot of their journey towards where we see them at the end of ep 12 in BBS, so if it feels like they're in limbo when we leave them, they are, but with a renewed perspective of each other and the poignancy of it all.

I'm almost certain this will be a coincidence, but I love that when Pran puts the watch on again it's almost at the same time as when he reset it at the end of BBS ep 1. I love that it's ten minutes later though, because it symbolises how time has moved on for them - i.e how much has changed - since they got together, and therefore how much more will change as time keeps moving forward. And that's something they can trust in.

[ep 1] [ep 2] [ep 3] [ep 4] (<- I was right to be hopeful!)

#bad buddy #our skyy 2 #our skyy 2 x bad buddy #our skyy 2 x a tale of thousand stars #our skyy 2 x atots #our skyy 2 x bbs x atots #colours in our skyy 2 bbs x atots #I've rambled A LOT in this one but I had THOUGHTS #I'm not sure if I've made my point well or not #because I've been thinking about it so much that I may have lost the plot #but here it is...I hope it sparks something in you #there's just something about pat realising things and/or needing to say them out loud #and pran providing the opportunities for pat do that #that happens in bbs and I think that's what they've done here too #uservid #mjtag #usernuria #userjjessi #userkit #user111 #tosnimeat #<- in case you're interested! #no worries if not #colours in our skyy 2 bad buddy

[sketchy-tour]

Fun fact about me. When I was staring at and studying the art Partycoffin/Clown did of Wally to get an idea on how I wanted to draw him, I made a specific mental note that Wally's hair looked like "A weird squishy alien creature just sitting on his head."

And that's what I kept in mind literally any time I've drawn him.

#text post #just rambling #thoughts at 1am dont mind me #I was drawing him again and literally out loud was like “Needs to look more like a squishy alien creature.” #and thus I ran here to share this stupid thought of mine #LOOK I adore Wally to BITS but his hair is so silly in my brain #Most of the art that looks like this is like the older sketches of him I admit #Most of his official site art doesn't really scream weird squishy alien #and yet here I am. STILL thinking about it when I draw him #like a weirdo. #random side note; I saw someone slap an eye on his hair in some au I'll never remember #But I DO remember seeing that image and thinking “OMG now it looks MORE like a squishy alien!”

[subsequentibis]

inspired by @vimbry 's post from a little while back these are my current top 10 favorite tmbg songs in no particular order!

mrs bluebeard

apophenia

twisting

by the time you get this

till my head falls off

alienation's for the rich

where your eyes don't go

lie still little bottle

i love you for psychological reasons

they'll need a crane

#ignore me #they might be giants #SUBJECT TO WHIMS OF THE DAY. but i think this is solid. #it's hard to choose for many reasons but also bc there are Subcategories of songs for me #and i have faves within those categories but i don't know which one would win out over the other... #do i include one that Rocks harder over one that has wordplay i like better. etc etc #mostly i chose based on my likelihood to listen to that song over and over and over again #i wish i'd gotten man it's so loud in here or wicked little critta on the list but they were just edged out #let me tell you about my operation also very nearly made it #ive definitely not heard every album let alone every song. im Working on this #anyway enough rambling. you can always ask me my opinions on tmbg songs it's always morally correct

[pupkou]

sometimes my heart is just so full of love that i wish i could still cry

#i made a care package for my coworker/boss because she’s a single mother and she’s having a hard time and i wish someone had cared for my #mom like this when she was young and alone. so i’m doing all i can to help her out and care for her because her life is just so hard right #now. and i’m restoring a vintage coach bag for my cousin that’s more like my sister and i just love her more than anything #she is so special to me. we were girls together and she is so so special #and i’m baking brownies #i just wish this world was better at showing its love so that we wouldn’t focus so much on the bad moments #i wish there was more visible; loud good and kindness #i love life and love and i’m happy i’m here so that i may love others #okay. enough bye #knight rambles

[flecks-of-stardust]

[image description: two images of a Northern Mockingbird perched on some branches. It is a soft grey-brown, with darker feathered wings that have a white band in the middle. Its eyes are a brilliant gold. In the first image, it is looking off to the right, one eye staring at the camera, and is somewhat hunkered down. Its body is framed by a curving twig. In the second image, it is perched higher up, rump facing the camera as it looks to the sky. There is a big fluffy white cloud in the background. end image description]

birdy :D

#big long ramble about my day so far in the tags just cause i felt like sharing #i had a rheumatology appointment today but i was Way early #arrived when the doctors had broken for lunch. the receptionist told me there was a new nature path past the parking lot #and i was like hell why not. maybe i’ll find a cool bug #i did not find many bugs but hooo there were so many birds it was amazing #this fella was the highlight #i was trying to get a picture of it through a bush cause it looked cool #but then it flapped up In Front Of Me. like less than a meter away #and i just stared wide eyed at it for like three seconds #snapped a few pictures because it posed for me for a little #it also gave me a little gift :’) i didn’t catch the poop falling on camera lol #then it flitted off back the way it came #there was also a hummingbird (anna’s hummingbird i think) #and a few others i couldn’t identify. probably a few bushtits and i think two goldfinches at least #and also some really fucking loud geese(?) that i could not find #it was nice. talking a walk here and there is so nice #i did eventually find some bugs. there was a honeybee that was getting blown across the ground by the wind #literally tumbling all the way. i scooped it onto a leaf and put it somewhere a bit less windy #and there was another in a flower that seemed a bit stronger #also there were these little solitary bee home tubes!!! didn’t see any bees come out though #and there was a cat :D #hshshshshdh it’s been nice so far #my appointment went well too #mockingbird blessing :) #if i had a nickel for every time i happened to somehow be allowed within a meter of a bird to get a super clean picture of them #i would have two nickels #which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice /ref #the other instance was of hatchlings too :’D god they were so round and cute #i miss them i hope they had lots of babies

[gillianthecat]

Gonna end my semi-intensive campaign for the best kiss bracket here. I can see the writing on the wall: I've looked at the number of voters in each poll, and not only is this round decided, I can already tell who will win the semi-finals and the finals.

I was having a lot of fun campaigning and analyzing and updating my posts. But it stopped being fun. The one I don't want to win is going to win it all, and in the next round campaigning for OFC over PatPran is going to feel unnecessarily divisive.

I went into it as a fun way to talk about BL kisses, but my hater's heart has emerged a little to strongly, which isn't fun for me.

At some point I may write about my thoughts and feelings about Kinnporsche. Both the show itself, and also the fandom around it; which fascinates and baffles me, and sometimes annoys me, and is pushing me to face the fact that in some ways I can't help but be a contrarian. Seeing something get super popular that I have mixed feelings about, or think is only ok, usually pushes me to the other direction and dislike the thing and see its flaws.

In general I also tend to get tired even of shows I love if I'm overexposed to them. So I have filters even for things I really liked, like The Eclipse, Bad Buddy and Big Dragon because I was reaching saturation point and didn't want to stop liking them.

None of this is self-knowledge that's new to me; I've been thinking about it vaguely all along, but this poll is pushing it to the forefront. Even though I assumed from the beginning KP would win, my feelings about seeing it beating out other shows are stronger than expected.

And on an intellectual level, I am just so fascinated by why it is THE show out of all BL shows that has developed such an enormous fandom. My impression is that most fans of BL are fans of the genre as a whole, or at least multiple shows, but that there are large numbers KP fans who are fans of only that. (I don't know if that's accurate though. I've drafted a poll to try and get some of the demographics of that, though I suspect my reach isn't big enough to get a enough responses to get any real answers about it.)

Don't get me wrong, I was completely absorbed when I binged the first half of the series in late June. And also went a little crazy over vegaspete when I binged the second half after the whole show was out. It was the show that got me talking on tumblr, and in that way was the first show that made me part of a "fandom." So I can see why people get obsessed with it. Just not sure why there are so many more than for other good BL shows.

Is it because iQIYI did such heavy advertising? I actually heard of the show several months before I even heard of BL, and then watched it mainly because iQIYI kept reminding me about it. For me, it became a gateway to BL more generally, but perhaps there are a lot of fans who just stopped with that?

Is there also a large group of people who were watching BL casually but weren't particularly BL fans, and then watched KP and thought it better than anything other BL? I've seen scattered comments with those opinions, but not sure how broad-spread it is. (I suppose if I'm feeling very curious and very brave I could go into the comments and reviews on KP's MDL page, which might give me some idea of numbers.)

With how my ADHD manifests, I don't have the attention span to become devoted to one show at the exclusion of all others, and so I can't really understand the mindset of fans who do fandom like that. (For any show, be it Star Wars or Marvel or The Untamed.) But I guess there are many people who do participate in fandoms that way? And KP is one of the shows that many of that style of fan found?

Is it the mafia plot? (there have been other mafia plots.) Is it how glossy and expensive it all looked, and the truly excellent cinematography? Is it how high heat the sex scenes were? (Were they significantly higher heat than anything previous though? Could be.)

Is there something about Kinn and Porsche as a couple that is particularly compelling to people? (I don't personally think so, certainly not compared to other BL couples. For me their story kinda petered out once they got together. And I found Mile's acting serviceable, but not that compelling, but I do see that he has lots of fans so perhaps it's just me.)

If so, what is unique about them? Enemies to lovers, boss-employee, torn between duty and love—I guess that combo is somewhat unique? I can't think of other shows off the top of my head now at least.

Is it the darkness and danger and plottiness of the mafia story? I know that sort of thing tends to engender obsessive fandoms. Are there other shows that have that too? I can see why if that's your thing, you wouldn't be into more slice of life BL like Old Fashion Cupcake or Semantic Error, or the youthful high jinx of most HS or Uni set shows.

Some combination of all of that? Some luck of timing? Did the advertising have a significantly bigger reach than for any other BL? With KP being my entry point into BL, I'm not able to compare with what the fandom was like before it came out.

Anyway, not sure if this is coherent, and absolutely NOT trying to start discourse. But if you do have theories you feel like sharing about how KP ended up with the fandom it has, I'd love to hear them. Or do you think I'm wrong and its fandom actually isn't unique for BL?

For context, the ten most popular BL shows on MDL are

The Untamed (2019) - 83,572

2Gether (2020) - 60,952

TharnType (2019) - 57,444

Until We Meet Again (2019) - 55,451

KinnPorsche (2022) - 52,838

Where Your Eyes Linger (2020) - 50,310

Semantic Error (2022) - 50,309

Theory of Love (2019) - 49,263

Bad Buddy (2021) - 48,411

Love By Chance (2018) - 46,652

I'm measuring "popularity" by the number of MDL users who list the show as watched. The show on MDL with the most watchers of everything is Goblin (aka Guardian: The Lonely and Great God) with 199,983.

The Untamed I would say has it's own fandom, overlapping with but distinct from BL fans. In some ways (other than heat levels) I can see it as a model of what might make KP so uniquely popular as well - complex plot, violent danger, and angst, and lovers kept apart by circumstance.

Most of the other shows on the list are popular Thai BL from three to four years ago, so it makes sense to me why they've accumulated lots of watchers. Where Your Eyes Linger, at number 6, surprised me, I don't hear much about it on tumblr these days and would have guessed it was much further down. KinnPorsche and Semantic Error are the newest shows on the list, coming out around the same time last year. But although I hear a lot of love for SE, I don't see it having an obsessive one-show fandom like KP does. I do see a lot of very devoted Bad Buddy fans, but again, most of them seem to also be general BL fans.

Addendum: (For the record, my assumption/prediction is that KP and PatPran will win their respective semifinals, and KP will win it all, by at least a 20 percentage point difference.)

#fandom thoughts #introspection inspired by the best kiss poll #why do some shows get super popular? #no tags here #not trying to open a can of worms; just thinking out loud #my ramblings #i'm probably talking in circles a bit but that's one of the reasons it's behind a readmore

[rosemirmir]

I think the reasons why my brain enjoys Tumblr as much as it does is a combination of it being friendly to my lurker tendencies, though I'm still able to communicate in multiple ways like through the ask box. (Which I greatly enjoy, I need to send asks to people more.)

Which is great since I've really improved at being able to actually reach out and socialize with people online when I have the spoons to, so Tumblr caters to both these parts of me.

Also the archive page and the ability for me to go down blog rabbitholes for ages if desired... I grew up on 2000s Internet so I just love digging for neat stuff. You had to dig back them if you wanted to find anything, but it's become such a part of what I do over my life that it's enrichment for me.

#anyways im just thinking out loud here #dreamwidth is still my favorite social platform overall #but tumblr scratches some serious itches nowhere else out there can really replicate rn #ive got my rocky history with the site but i have genuinely enjoyed my time on this newer account a lot #anyways im just rambling and i really should attempt to sleep since im waking up early for the gym tomorrow #linky posts

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

had a conversation about religion with the Theatre Boy yesterday in which I admitted, possibly for the first time, that despite my Christian faith and belief in Heaven and Hell, I kind of wish I DIDN'T believe in that stuff, that I could just believe our consciousness ceases to exist once we die, because I'm scared of the concept of Eternity

#does this make me a bad Christian or heretic or blasphemous or something bc holy heck it scares me to think about #the fact that I ADMITTED THAT. OUT LOUD. #also the boy said he doesn't believe in the Bible bc he thinks the scientific evidence doesn't support it #meanwhile I'm over here rubbing my hands together mentally preparing my apologetics ramble sksjfskfnsknf #like boy I am the exact wrong girl or perhaps the right one to hang out with bc I can debate that til the cows come home #anyway. I need to STOP mentally replaying the whole conversation yesterday + my second guessing and such #and just relax for a bit. I'm eating goat cheese and crackers and listening to the new ed sheeran album bc my SIL likes it #and hopefully I can shut the anxiety off for a while. ugh. #Lu rambles

[pebbledrat]

Thinking about the fanon takes about if cTubbo was cSchlatt's son and wondering if in-world there was any speculation among the L'manberg citizens (the common folk, not the politicians) that Schlatt was secretly somehow Tubbo's father. Like, kind of weird how Tubbo didn't get banished after the elections, was that some sort of favoritism? And Tubbo should have been dismissed from any political office, why is he being kept around? Then Schlatt and Wilbur both die and within the month Tubbo has banished Tommyinnit again? Tommy, who was Wilbur's man though and through? What did we miss? What is the president trying to hide?

#just. cabinet meetings and whispers in the streets and something about following your father's footsteps #i think usually i like to imagine schlatt was fairly young when everything went down? but where people tend to read him as older than he is #and in this au i think schlatt wasn't visible to the public? he's sick or hungover or on a podium on a stage #so he's kind of reclusive and mysterious despite how loud he can be #also wasn't he an old friend of president soot? he wasn't favored for the election you know... #just... the rumor mill in manberg and nlm would have been insane #pebble speaks #just rambling out here <3

[jmrothwell]

.

#yelling into the void #thinking out loud #may delete later #probably being a little melodramatic #but on evening where I feel the brink of a spiral #it is a considerable fear that once this project is complete #I will have nothing left to cling to and am more likely to succumb to to the whims to just vanish into the night #not in a kill myself sort of way but in a lets have another unprompted hiatus sort of way #these are all completely unfounded #I have more now than the last few times I did #actual friends more than acquaintances who I would not so easily justify a sudden dissapearance #it used to feel as though my impromptu projects were all that drove me #but that isn't true anymore #I only wish I could do more to show the gratitude for saving me more times than you may be even aware #That last one def sounds very melodramatic especially considering Ibjust said I was not actively suicidal #but I remember what it felt like the last time I even got close to it #and it all started with the small thought of what if I just vanish from this site...would anyone even notice? #Anyway......long rambling is long #Thank you again whether or not you read or see this but thank you for keeping me here

[theoldgaylion]

Me: im totally fine and normal :)

Also me: *listen to 'Just Look My Way' for the 283737th time in a row*

#josh talks #random ramblings #helluva boss #stolitz #stolas goetia #🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 #im suffering. idk how you people whove been fan for longer than me are coping rn because #i bingwatched the series just the other night and im here sobbing in pain as i listen to this sad owl crying his feelings out loud

[kuroo-hitsuji]

Me: *desperately needs to sleep so I'm not exhausted for an already inevitably exhausting day tomorrow*

Also me, at 1 am: *brainrotting about how much more fun the Japanese version of Obey Me is for character analysis purposes (the language they use for themselves and others scratches a brain itch So Hard every time fr)*

#obey me #thinking out loud #bro I'm just really autistic about fictional characters and also the Japanese language-- #also there are just so many jokes/running themes that don't translate well At All #like dont get me wrong the translation is banger and really funny as well #but it just doesnt hit quite the same as the original intentions sometimes #anyways if anyone ever wants to hear me ramble about character dynamics and language i am here most of my time--

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Why are some fans just-

Inclined to bully Wukong? I don’t understand.

(And I don’t mean “I hate him(affectionately)” I mean GENUINELY hate him…)

I mean, I can theorize it's because people just tend to be harsher on hero characters that make mistakes than villain characters who do the same, but in the end it's like, I dunno, my dude. And I ain't got time to rationalize why people choose to behave in specific ways, I just don't interact with that stuff and sit in my corner where I am holding every character gently except Macaque who I'm shaking like rag doll until he gets therapy.

I'm straight up just not gonna focus on it, and for anyone who likes Wukong's characters peach (peace. I made that typo and thought it was funny so i'm leaving it) of mind I would highly recommend you do the same.

Focusing, following, and even interacting with posts and people who bash on something that's important to you is gonna stress you out and is not gonna be good for you, even if the content creator is good or if it's friend. Keep moving forward buddy, Wukong's an amazing character who is traumatized and doing his best and making countless mistakes but his intentions are good (which doesn't excuse it but he is trying, just not in quite the right way,) and I personally adore his character.

Anyway I dunno what happened in these latest episodes to have this erupt in this way but like, I don't want to talk about it or dwell on it because I don't need to. I like the characters, and I don't need to interact or look at stuff that bashes on them in a way that stresses me, good day o7

#knox rambles #asks #anon #Monkie Kid #i ain't gonna waste my time trying to convince anyone they're sleeping on one of the greatest most angsted characters of all time #i'm gonna sit here with my wukong analysis posts and and burnt marshmallow and dad in training AU's and VIBE AGRESSIVELY BECAUSE #HE SPARKS JOY #also I'm sorry you gotta see all the Wukong hate cause it really does seem like there's an overwhelming amount but like #that's how social media works #could be a group of seven bashing horribly and it spreads #or it could be ten people out of a hundred but they're so loud that it seems like so much more #the fandom's getting bigger and bigger and so there's gonna be more and louder crazies thats how fandoms work #u just gotta block and move on my dude #don't let it drag you down o7

[tvrningout-a]

on one hand, i really wanna write. on another hand, i kinda wanna take an official break from tumblr bc maybe my brain isn't in the space to be a proper writing partner atm? and i feel like i'm not being fair to y'all. then again, i suppose i could just make a note that my activity is currently very spotty due to the holidays? bc i do wanna be here, but i dunno. mentally i feel fine, and i have inspiration and a desire to create, but the motivation is really hard to find right now. it makes me feel like i'm gonna hurt someone's feelings or cause them to think i'm disinterested when that's not true, and i really wanna avoid that.

#i have spurts where i can get myself to write and maybe it's just been the stress of being busy at work on top of school #and personal stuff? #but i can tell i'm starting to procrastinate with everything and everyone #if i took a break it'd just be for a week maybe? bc this week is gonna be rough at work #i really don't know y'all -- i'm just thinking out loud bc i'm frustrated with myself ;; #my motivation has been an ongoing problem for i don't even know how long now and it's showing here too #tw vent #get ready to ramble | ooc #tbd