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taylor-on-your-dash · 11 months

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Writing Of Fearless Timeline

DISCLAIMER: None is this is my opinion unless stated otherwise. Some dates might be wrong, I was not in the fandom when Fearless was released, I joined shortly after Fearless Platinum dropped. If you saw the rollout of the release, I'd love to hear your story!

Please credit me if you use this timeline!

Early 2005: Taylor has a writing session with the Warren Brothers. They write That's When.

[BMI Article from May 2005] “She has written songs with a list of renowned writers including Troy Verges, Brett Beavers, and the Warren Brothers.”

[Alexa Skill for Taylor's Version] “That's When is a song that I wrote with the Warren Brothers and it was really fun writing with them because they're just hilarious people in general and I remember it was a classic Nashville songwriting session: you sit around a room, you go to a publishing office, you sit around in a room, everybody's got guitars and we just kind of came up with this song about space and independence and what happens when two people love each other but one of them just needs to take a breather and think about it and what would happen if rather than saying "No, if you're not sure, then leave and I don't want to talk to you ever again", what would happen if the partner was like "Do what you need to do, I'm here and I'm sure that I want to be with you, so if you need to take some space then do it", and we're just kind of playing around with that idea and we came up with this song.”

It's also possible that That's When was written later (but before September 2005) and they wrote Long Time Going and Welcome Distraction first.

February 12, 2005: Taylor writes with Scooter Carusoe for the first time, but it's unclear if they wrote You All Over Me, or Thirteen Blocks or Pretty Words. Either way, You All Over Me was written in early 2005. Scooter produced the demo, which leaked in 2017.

Scott's email to Taylor's manager, Dan Dymtrow (thanks @backup-baby-backup for sending this to me!):

[Alexa Skill for Taylor's Version] “The song You All Over Me is one that I wrote with a writer who goes by the name Scooter Carusoe, his name is Travis Hill. This was one of the songs that I remember us painstakingly going over the lyrics and trying to come up with all these different symbolic imagery references to how it could feel after you have your heart broken, just to feel like you've been ruined by the whole thing and I think that's one of the hardest things about heartbreak, this feeling like it's damaged you and now you carry that damage with you.”

Late 2005: Taylor writes Don't You with Tommy Lee James.

[Alexa Skill for Taylor's Version] “Don't You is a song that I wrote with Tommy Lee James, who's a fantastic writer. We wrote it about the idea of seeing someone that you used to have a thing for and seeing them out in public for the first time after you've heard that they've moved on and that you know your life is your life is kind of in shambles and they have moved on and they're really happy and it's almost like even them being nice to you hurts you because you're in such a state of pain and you haven't moved on yet, so that was a really fun song to write because that's just a well spring of emotion to draw from.”

[Tommy Lee James] “The crazy thing about this song is that I remember writing with Taylor that day, and I remember her just being really sharp and smart. I knew I was writing a good song. And then normally, back then I’d probably just do like a worktape or whatever, and I would throw it into my Garage Band on my computer just to save it and label it. But for some reason, I never labeled it correctly. And then, all of a sudden, Taylor comes out with ‘Tim McGraw’, and all of a sudden she’s a star. My publisher at the time, she’s going, ‘Where is that song you wrote with Taylor!?’ And I was like…'I cannot find it.'”

There are three demos of Don't You. Taylor only sings in a piano worktape, while other people sing on the other two. The IC owns these three demos since 2019. They bought them from Music Row. They described the worktape as: “A melancholic piano demo with haunting vocals, that have a sadness and longing to them, this was likely recorded in 2005, and was probably considered for the first album. Taylor runs into her ex and feels pain, because it brings back so many hard feelings and sad emotions, she feels that she still loves him and wonders why he doesn’t feel the same way, she will try her best to go along to go on with her life.”

Somewhere in 2005: Taylor releases a digital EP called “Majorly Indie Demos”. The tracklisting is unclear but the demos of Sweet Tea & God's Graces and We Were Happy were there.

There are two demos of We Were Happy, one acoustic worktape and one studio demo. Both of them have leaked.

One thing that I want to point out is that Majorly Indie was Arturo Buenahora's website. Buenahora is the executive who signed Taylor to music publisher Sony/ATV and introduced her to many songwriters, including Scooter Carusoe and Deric Ruttan. Buenahora left Sony/ATV and founded his own publishing house called Ole Majorly Indie, which then changed its name to Anthem Entertainment. This is Liz Rose's music publisher.

September 2006: Taylor writes Come In With The Rain.

Come In With the Rain (acoustic) (4 min 03 sec / Acoustic)- Simply Taylor and her acoustic guitar in this early demo recording. Passionate guitar playing during the breaks between vocal parts when Taylor stops singing.

She'll later release an early mix of the song on MySpace also in September. Posting the song on MySpace got her to surpass 1 million followers.

October 12, 2006: [From a Lover Journal] Taylor doodles Come In With The Rain on her diary.

December 1, 2006: [Interview with CMT] Taylor talks about the Debut rejects that will later become some of the Fearless Vault Songs in 2021.

“I've been very selfish about my songs. I had this dream of this project [Debut Album] coming out for so many years now that I just stockpiled. I'm so happy that I did because now we have a second album full of songs and a third album full of songs, and I don't have to lift a finger.”

December 2006: [From a Lover Journal] Taylor writes White Horse.

White Horse (3 min 36 sec / Studio) - A perfect acoustic studio version. Taylor sounds so young here, it makes us think this song was written prior to the first album. Lots of fake versions are in circulation.

December 28, 2006: Performance at the Wildhorse Saloon in Nashville. Unknown setlist except for Nashville and Our Song. Sam Armstrong was there and will comment in 2018 that Taylor performed a song about him there. It's unclear whether it was White Horse or Nashville (which is not about him, by the way).

Early 2007: Taylor writes The Other Side Of The Door.

Description of The Other Side of the Door Studio Demo from the Inner Circle (in circulation but not leaked), which I think it's pretty accurate: “4 minutes and 01 seconds: Starts with a catchy drum loop similar to the studio version of "Permanent Marker" and has less instrumentation. Very country with electric guitars coming in sooner.” She sounds SO young in the demo, it's basically the same baby voice she has in the Christmas songs.

April 2007: Taylor writes You're Not Sorry, possibily about Sam Armstrong.

[Interview from October 2008] “I wrote it about maybe a year and half ago about this guy that kept apologizing and kept doing the same thing over and over again and after a while you just have stand up to that person and say, ‘You’re not sorry. At all... bye.’”

“I wrote a few more songs [other than Should've Said No] on this upcoming record about him just because, you know, I wasn’t done being mad about it. I know he's on the edge of his seat waiting.

“It is about this guy who turned out to not be who I thought I was. He came across as Prince Charming. Well, it turned out Prince Charming had a lot of secrets that he didn’t tell me about. And one by one, I would figure them out. I would find out who he really was. I wrote this when I was at the breaking point of, ‘You know what? Don’t even think that you can keep on hurting me.’ It was to a point where I had to walk away.”

Gossip Speculation: The other songs for Sam are: White Horse, You're Not Sorry, Come In With The Rain and The Other Side Of The Door.

May 15, 2007: Taylor talks about Fearless the song while getting ready for the ACMs Awards

I wrote this song that I'm really excited about called "Fearless." It's about the best first date that I haven't been on yet. I just try and put myself in the position of "this is really happening,' and what would happen on the coolest first date. So I haven't ever written a song about, you know, that feeling before. I've written songs, but I haven't recorded them or put them on an album, and so I think that would be a cool. It's about angry, not sad . The whole thing - I think it's really going to be cool for people to see that sort of song coming out of me. I would tell you about every single song on the album right now, I just can't wait for you to hear it.

May 30, 2007: First recorded performance of Sparks Fly in Oroville, CA.. Steve from the Inner Circle/Dark Blue Tennessee.com films it and posts it online.

July 10, 2007: [From MySpace] “So lately, I’ve been in the studio on my days off recording a CHRISTMAS album! Haha. Not kidding. It’s a Target exclusive thing, and I’m really excited about it! There are two songs on it that I wrote. More on it later!”

According to its copyright file, Christmases When You Were Mine was written in 2007, but it's totally possible that it was written around Christmas '06. In my opinion, since Nathan Chapman is credited as writer, it was likely written in the studio just for the EP.

Christmas Must Be Something More was written in 2003. The Acoustic Demo from 2003 has never leaked and its existence only surfaced in 2018 thanks to Bob Orrall.

July 19, 2007: Taylor and Brad Paisley stop at the Jamboree In The Hills in Morristown, Ohio, where she sings Permanent Marker, and Fearless, along other songs from Debut.

July 2007: Taylor has written more or less 75 songs, including Fearless.

[Unrated Magazine Interview] “I've got, like, 75 written, and we just have to whittle it down to whatever number of songs we want to put on the album, and start recording. I wrote this song that I'm really excited about called "Fearless." It's about the best first date that I haven't been on yet. I just try and put myself in the position of "this is really happening,' and what would happen on the coolest first date. So I haven't ever written a song about, you know, that feeling before. I've written songs, but I haven't recorded them or put them on an album, and so I think that would be a cool.”

“She conceived the song while touring as opening act to promote her eponymous debut album: "This is a song about the fearlessness of falling in love. No matter how many break up songs you write, no matter how many times you get hurt, you will always fall in love again. When I wrote “Fearless,” I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven't had yet.”

[Hillary Lindsay to MusicRow.com] “I had a writing date with Taylor, and she came to my home. She came in like a fireball. She was young, but she knew exactly what she wanted. She had been working on the song with Liz, but wanted to finish it with me.”

August 2007: Taylor writes The Best Day while on tour with Brad Paisley.

“I wrote this song on the road and didn’t tell my mom about it. I decided that I was going to keep it a secret and give it to her as a surprise for Christmas. I wrote it in the summer and then recorded it secretly with the band in the studio. After it was done, I synched the song up to all these home videos of her, and my family. She didn’t even realize it was me singing until halfway through the song! She didn’t have any idea that I could possibly write and record a song without her knowing about it. When she finally got it, she just started bawling her eyes out.”

September 22, 2007: “I'm just counting down to December, when we start recording the next album. There's so much that I'm excited about”.

August/September 2007 (not confirmed): Tell Me Why and Acting Like A Boy, both co-written with Liz Rose, are registered together in her Music Publishing catalogue (Sony/ATV). Acting Like A Boy is the 66th song and Tell Me Why the 67th. Shortly after, a song called Too Beautiful, solo written, is copyrighted.

The singer told The Associated Press that this was inspired by her frustration at a boy that she liked acting up. She explained: "I walked into Liz's house, and I said, 'I can't believe what's going on right now, I've gotta tell you about this.' I told her all about it. She goes, 'If you could say everything you were thinking to him right now, what would you start with?'" Swift began venting: "I would say to him, 'I'm sick and tired of your attitude, I feel like I don't even know you' ... and I just started rambling, and she was writing down everything that I was saying, and so, we turned it into a song."

“I’d been talking to a guy I’ve never “officially” dated. Sometimes it’s the hardest thing when you have all these dreams of dating them, and you’re getting close, but it doesn’t work out. He would say things that would make me go, “Did you just say that?” It bothered me so much because he would say one thing and do another, do one thing and say another. Because he didn’t know what he wanted, he would just play all these mind games. So I went over to write with Liz and was just ranting and raving about how this guy is such a flake and such a jerk sometimes, and so cool other times. I was like, “Liz, I don’t know what’s up with this guy!” So I just started playing the beginning, “I took a chance, I took a shot. And you might think I’m bulletproof, but I’m not.””

Description of the Tell Me Why Acoustic Demo: 3 minutes and 7 seconds long. An extremely rare worktape demo from the Fearless album sessions. With studio production stripped away, we are left with Taylor singing along to an acoustic guitar using vocals that are softer and carry more emotional weight. The lyrics are different in some places, which makes for fascinating comparisons.

Description of Acting Like A Boy (worktape): Taylor starts this demo in a unique way by stating the song title. The boy Taylor has been dating has been sending her mixed signals. He has been playing a little game, acting like he doesn't care, and picking fights with her. Taylor is not going to put up with this forever. She is going to slip through his hands soon and he won't find her anymore. This song has a very pretty chorus melody.

October 10, 2007: [From the Inner Circle] “First performance of Fifteen at the All For the Hall New York. Quality unknown. We do not currently have a copy of this and are not sure if it was recorded. Tickets cost $1,000 each to attend and Taylor was a surprise guest.”

“I wrote this around the story line of my best friend from high school, Abigail. I started everything with the line “Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” and wrote everything else from that point, almost backwards. I just decided I really wanted to tell that story about our first year of high school because I felt in my freshman year, I grew up more than any year in my life so far.”

October 14, 2007: Sounds of the Season: The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection is released in a limited edition through Target. It will be later reissued in 2009 with a slightly different cover.

November 7, 2007: After months of putting it off, Taylor finishes Change after winning the CMA Horizon award. This will be the last time in which her fiddler Emily Poe would perfom with Taylor.

“That’s when I finished it, because I knew I couldn’t finish it until something like that happened. It was absolutely the most amazing night of my life, getting to see the emotion of all the people who worked so hard for me.”

“At one point, I began to understand that it would be harder for me on a smaller record label to get to the places and accomplish the things that artists were accomplishing on bigger record labels. I realized that I wouldn’t get favors pulled for me because there weren’t any other artists on the label to pull favors from. It was going to be an uphill climb and all that I had to encourage me was the hope that someday things would change. That things would be different. After so many times of just saying that to myself over and over, I finally wrote it down in a song.”

November 30, 2007: Taylor meets up with Colbie Caillat and they write Breathe, for her former fiddle player, Emily Poe.

“She was doing a show in Nashville and I just happened to be in town, so we got together and wrote a killer song. It’s really cool, and I can’t wait for you to hear it. She’s gonna record back up vocals on it for my new album. (They’ll be really loud back up vocals, because she has an incredibly awesome voice and I want it to be turned wayyyy up).”

[Alexa Skill for Taylor's Version] “Breathe is a song about having to let go of someone in your life who you care about and you don't want to hurt but you've outgrown the friendship or the relationship and I wrote this one I wrote the idea for it and Colbie Caillat was in town playing a show and I brought her this idea and she really liked it and we wrote it together, we sat there and wrote the song right before her show, I mean it was the afternoon she was about to play that night. She's singing backup vocals on it that are just so haunting and I'm so lucky because she agreed to do the same backup vocals on my version of Breathe, so it absolutely would not have been the same without her.”

“It’s a song about having to say goodbye to somebody, but it never blames anybody. Sometimes that’s the most difficult part. When it’s nobody’s fault. I was a huge fan of Colbie’s record. When it came out, I fell in love with the way that she makes music. I contacted her management right away and I asked if I could write with her and, sure enough, Colbie had a date coming up in Nashville where she was going to be playing a show and she had the day off. I think she sounds beautiful on it. I’m so excited to have her voice on my album.”

December 5, 2007: [From MySpace] “Speaking of my next album, today was my first day in the studio “pre-planning” for recording it!! My producer, Nathan, and I basically spent all day listening to songs and picking which ones to record first.”

“When Taylor sat down in December 2007 to start planning her sophomore album, she knew she had a tough act to follow — her self-titled debut had just been certified double platinum. “Pressure is one of my favorite things in the world,” Taylor told the Tennessean. “When I heard before my second album, ‘Is she going to experience a sophomore slump?’ it made me more motivated to make sure that didn’t happen. ‘Is she going to keep this fan base?’ ‘Is this thing going to run off the tracks?’ Those things motivate me. My gut instinct has worked so far, and I’m not going to mess with that.””

December 10, 2007: Taylor is in the studio to record Change and Breathe. Taylor Swift goes double platinum. Our Song reaches No. 1. It's her first song to do so.

December 13, 2007: Taylor turns 18. Footage from her birthday party will be later turned in the Beautiful Eyes music video.

[From MySpace] “I had an amazing time at my party. I wore a hot pink dress. Pictures soon! The party was a blast.. My favorite thing about it was this photo booth. All of us were taking pictures in there the whole night. We had tarot card readers and palm readers and all kinds of fun stuff to do. I’ve never really had a big birthday party before, so it was amazing to get that chance! My record label surprised me with this HUGE pink truck!! They’re so sweet to me, and I’ve always wanted a truck.”

Around this time, an alternate version of Christmases When You Were Mine is released thorough Entertainment Weekly.

December 23, 2007: [From MySpace] “We’ve got six songs recorded already, and they sound amazing. I’ve been in the studio with Nathan (my producer. Same guy who produced my first record! But this time we’re co-producing) all month and it’s been so much fun.”

December 27, 2007: The Mirror tracklisting is released:

Permanent Marker

Tell Me Why

I'd Lie

Fearless

Dark Blue Tennessee

Sparks Fly

The One Thing.

Lyrics to I'm Looking Out For You are also photographed. This song is speculated to be about Gracie Johnson, a friend of Taylor's who was battling cancer. Gracie can be heard at the beginning of the Beautiful Eyes Video and in the first picture of Love Story (Taylor's Version) Lyric Video.

“Bye Bye Baby [previously known as The One Thing] is a song that I wrote with Liz Rose and it was just one of those ones that it would always get stuck in my head, just the idea that you're facing disappointment when it comes to somebody that you really cared about, and kind of that grand letdown that happens when you're growing up and you're learning to trust people and trying to learn about love and everything and kind of realizing that you have to let go.”

Somewhere in 2007: Taylor writes The Way I Loved You with John Rich and SuperStar with Liz Rose.

[About The Way I Loved You] “I got this idea for a song about being in a relationship with a nice guy who is punctual and opens up the door for you and brings you flowers... but you feel nothing. The whole time you’re with him, you’re thinking about the guy who was complicated and messy and frustrating. So I brought that idea, the title and where I thought the song should go to John. He was able to relate to it because he is that complicated, frustrating messy guy in his relationships. We came at the song from different angles. It was just so cool to get in a room and write with him because he really is an incredible writer.”

John Rich is a Republican and spoke against Taylor in 2018 after Marsha Blackburn won, so this is probably all we'll ever know about their writing session.

There are two demos of Superstar, and on the worktape Taylor reveals that the superstar was born in Arkansas. Fans speculated that it's a reference to Joe Nichols, a famous country singer.

January 28, 2008: Matt Jenkins opens for Taylor at the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center. They write a song together called This One's Different. It was probably intended for Jenkins' debut album (which was never released) but I'll inlcude it anyway.

[Description of the song from the Inner Circle] The singer reflects back on how there can be really bad days and nights where it seems like everything goes wrong. But things can change for the better in a single moment when we meet the perfect person. The story in this song culminates in a romantic proposal and wedding. This song is unique because Taylor only sings background vocals and the story is told from the boy's perspective.

Video of Taylor and Matt explaining how she contacted him.

February 28, 2008: Love and Theft open Taylor's concert in Spartanburg, SC. This is likely the period when Taylor and Stephen Barker Liles met and Taylor wrote Hey Stephen.

“We were recording at John and Martina McBride’s studio [aka Blackbird Studios in Nashville] and he was like, ‘My kids are dying to meet you. Do you think that you could say hi to them?’ I said, ‘Sure, have them come and hang out while we’re recording.’ So his daughters and their friends from school – there were about ten of them there – they all came into the studio when we were recording “Hey Stephen” and they loved it. They were singing along with it by the end of it." The children ended up snapping their fingers on the song.”

March 2008: According to Nathan Chapman, Love Story was recorded in March.

[From Everyday is a Fairytale by Liv Spencer] “Taylor wrote this song lying on her bedroom floor in a mere 20 minutes and recorded a rough cut of the track in 15 minutes of studio time the next day.”

[Nathan Chapman to ProAudio] “The vocal was a tracking vocal — that's the vocal she cut live with the band," Chapman reveals. "The band was just acoustic guitar, bass and drums; everything else was overdubbed.”

Nathan is likely talking about these two demos: Love Story (4 min 8 sec / Acoustic in a Studio) Taylor went into the studio to record this demo shortly after writing it and you can hear Nathan (the producer) speaking during the recording; Love Story Justin Niebank Master Mix (3 min 58 sec / Studio) - As the music starts playing, Taylor clears her throat in preparation for singing. This album demo is more like a raw unmixed studio version. Sometimes Taylor's vocal is simply one take with no enhancements. At other times, harmonies are mixed in loudly or there are multiple Taylor vocals all singing together.

[Taylor on Rolling Stone, January 25, 2010] “Love Story wasn’t technically the last one, but it was very, very last minute.”

“This is a song I wrote when I was dating a guy who wasn't exactly the popular choice. His situation was a little complicated, but I didn't care. I started this song with the line "This love is difficult, but it's real." When I wrote the ending to this song, I felt like it was the ending every girl wants to go with her love story. It’s the ending that I want. You want a guy who doesn’t care what anyone thinks, what anyone says. He just says, “Marry me, Juliet, I love you, and that’s all I really know.” It’s sort of told in a character kind of thing, where it’s Romeo and Juliet, and it’s not me saying that I’m getting married or anything...but I think it’s fun to write about it.”

March 2008: Just days after writing Love Story, Taylor has a writing session with Craig Wiseman. She brings Love Story with her, asking if he wanted to finish it with her, but he refused. They end up writing another unknown song.

March 28, 2008: [Rollling Stone Interview] “I’ve recorded six songs, including one that I wrote with Colbie Caillat, that she’s going to throw some harmonies on, which I can’t even wait to hear. And I’m going in to record six more this week and then we have another session scheduled for summertime. We’re really trying to just cut a bunch of stuff and put whatever is best on the album.”

May 10, 2008: Banjo Ben Clark, the banjo player who has been touring with Taylor since 2006, reveals that he had recently played some banjo on new Taylor songs. Through an email exchange with him, I was able to confirm that he played on a Fearless song of which the production was changed and the banjo track discarded. Mr. Clark was not able to confirm which song this was.

Early June 2008: Taylor records Crazier and White Horse.

“I actually wasn’t going to put [White Horse] on the album. I was going to wait for the third album because I really felt like we had the “sadness” represented on this record. Then my agency out in LA set up a meeting with executive producers Betsy Beers and Shonda Rhimes at Grey’s Anatomy because that’s my favorite show. It would just be a dream come true to have a song on it. So, I played them “White Horse.” It was just me and my guitar and they freaked out. They loved it. They said, “We’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” For a while, we didn’t know if we were going to put it on the record because if it wasn’t going to be on the show, then we weren’t going to put it on the album. Then they called and said they were very interested in the song. We recorded it right away, sent it off to them, and they put it in!”

“White Horse is about what, in my opinion, is the most heart-breaking part of a break-up – that moment when you realize that all the dreams you had, all those visions you had of being with this person, all that disappears. Everything after that moment is moving on.. But that initial moment of "Wow, it's over" is what I wrote White Horse about.”

(About Crazier) [Billboard Interview, March 2008] “There are songs that I wrote when I was 13 that I think are perfect to bring out now. I didn’t get a chance to put ’em on the record the first time around. There’s so much stuff that I’m gonna to pull from the back drawer and then there’s some stuff that I will write today and cut tomorrow.”

“I wrote the song ‘Crazier’ when I was thirteen, and so this song is really a reflection of what I thought love was supposed to be. And, you know, sometimes you write a love song about what you hope will find you, and what you hope you’ll find someday, not about what you’re actually going through. I wrote the song in hopes that possibly it would be in the movie, but I never thought that it would be such a big, prominent song. It’s absolutely one of the most exciting things. The song is playing when the main characters in the movie, Miley and Billy Ray, are both falling in love, with that song as a background. It’s really cool to have that kind of a part in the movie.”

[Co-writer Robert Ellis Orrall on Crazier] “Disney called her up and said, 'We need a fiddle waltz song for Hannah Montana the Movie, we would love for you to sing it. She had one, so she sent it to them.”

Speculation:

I'm pretty confident that the songs written at 13 which she considered to release were Crazier and R-E-V-E-N-G-E.

I'm not entirely sure it was June, but Crazier, White Horse and Beautiful Eyes were mastered together, so I'm gonna assume that they were done in the period between her cameo in Hannah Montana and the release of the Beautiful Eyes EP. Grey's Anatomy was in post-production in that period, so that checks out.

June 9, 2008: Taylor shoots her cameo in Hannah Montana.

July 15, 2008: Beautiful Eyes is released.

[From MySpace] “I’m only letting my record company make a small amount of these - the last thing I want any of you to think is that we are putting out too many releases. I’m not going to be doing a bunch of promotion for it, because I don’t want there to be confusion about whether it’s the second album or not.”

Beautiful Eyes was written by April 20, 2004 and recorded on August 9, 2004 and it was produced by Orrall. The song released is actually the exact same demo, not even remixed, just mastered. [Source: Bob Orrall's Instagram]

I Heart? was written in early 2004 and the demo recorded in June 2004. The released version, available for download if you bought her Debut album the first week at Best Buy, was recorded on November 3, 2005 (instrumentals) and on November 4, 2005 (vocals). Both versions are produced by Bob Orrall.

FAQ: What's the difference between mixing and mastering?

July 29, 2008: First live perfomance of Untouchable from the Live from Clear Channel Stripped 2008.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Live from Clear Channel Stripped 2008 is the album which was released without Taylor's approval in April 2020. Before the "official" Big Machine release, these songs were on the Target YouTube channel. YouTube channel EAS Music Official waited until Taylor regained possessions of Fearless before uploading a 4K remastered version of Love Story from this live. Both videos are ethical-sourced.

August 5 and 6, 2008: Shooting of the Love Story music video at the Cumberland University and Castle Gwynn in Arrington, Tennessee.

August 8, 2008: Change is released.

August 15, 2008: Week of the Jonas Brothers 3D Movie shooting where Taylor performs Should've Said No; Should've Said No reaches No. 1; Fearless is announced for November.

August 30, 2008: [From MySpace] “So now is the time for planning. In 73 days, November 11th will be here and so will the release date of my new album. And so right now I’m in the middle of writing my ‘thank you’ section and thinking about track listing order (wondering “What song should go first..? Or last? How do you get the perfect flow of an album? What IS the "flow” of an album? Hmmm..“). And I’m also thinking about the secret codes to put into the lyrics. [...] This next record is on my mind 24/7, all the time. It never stops. I’m always either listening to a new mix of a song or scanning through pictures to make sure we’ve chosen the right ones, or wondering which songs you guys are going to like the best. I’m just so obsessed with it right now, all the planning. And sometimes I just have to sit back and remind myself that 73 days is not going to be here any sooner if I obsess. It’s still going to be 73 days away.”

Somewhere between July and August 2008: Taylor writes Jump Then Fall and Today Was A Fairytale.

[About Jump The Fall] «It’s probably the happiest, bounciest, most fun song to drive down the street listening to. It's one of my favorites on the Platinum Edition. It's just really fun and happy and takes me back to a good place.»

July 31, 2008: Taylor shoots the Fearless photoshoot. (I got this date from an insider)

September 1, 2008: The Fearless tracklist is released. Originally, Change was the first song The Way I Loved You wasn't included. Forever & Always was also missing, as Taylor hadn't written it yet.

September 12, 2008: The lead single Love Story is released.

[From MySpace] “A lot of people have been asking me what inspired this song.. I think the line that sums up what that song is about is “This love is difficult, but it’s real.” It just means that sometimes you have to fight for love, but sometimes it’s worth fighting for. Like with Romeo and Juliet. Except without the death. :) To me, the song isn’t really about living in a castle and having met your true love at a royal ball. It’s simpler than that. It’s about love being worth it. The hard times, the things that keep you apart, the times when you question it.. I would really like to think that the right love is worth the energy we put into it. So that’s what this song is about. Love and Romeo, and how we fight for those things that we can’t be without. In 1789 or in 2008. Whether you’re 16 or 60.”

Taylor will call the guy who inspired Love Story “a creep” in a 2011 interview.

September 18, 2008: The Jonas Brothers are filming their music video Lovebug. Joe meets Camilla Belle there.

September 21, 2008: Taylor and Liz Rose write You Belong With Me.

“I came into the writing session with Liz Rose and said: “I’ve got this idea. I had overheard a friend of mine talking to his girlfriend and he was completely on the defensive saying, “No, baby...I had to get off the phone really quickly...I tried to call you right back...Of course I love you. More than anything! Baby, I’m so sorry.” She was just yelling at him! I felt so bad for him at that moment. So I came up with the first line “You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset, going off about something that you said,” and I ran that into the story line that I’m in love with him and he should be with me instead of her. It just became this whole picture. It was really fun for us to write the line, “She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts.””

[Liz Rose Interview] “Taylor said, ‘I’m finishing the record on Monday. Let’s write an uptempo song.’ We wrote ‘You Belong With Me’ in one or two hours. It’s amazing to go back to the work tape and listen to it, because you wouldn’t believe the nuances that show up in the album version, too. When she’s writing something, she’s already producing in her head. She hears it all.”

Description of the worktape: You Belong With Me (3 min 7 sec / Acoustic)- Provides an incredible window into the songwriting process which went into this future hit song. Taylor clears her voice and then unleashes her acoustic guitar as she sings along with great feeling. There are some unique lyrics on this demo including an entirely different bridge. Simply stunning.

September 22, 2008: Taylor records You Belong With Me.

[Nathan Chapman Interview] We moved a little quick sometimes - most of You Belong With Me took two hours and a half. We started at 10AM and we were done by 12:30. I said, "Hey, let's go to lunch", but on the way back, one of the guys from the label said, "Hey, it's not cool to take that much time for one song". So we did four songs that afternoon. And then her management called and said, "You really wore her out today, can you go easier on her tomorrow?"

September 22 or 23, 2008: While in the studio, Taylor writes and records Forever & Always, a last-addiction to Fearless.

[From MySpace] [...] And I recorded a new song the other day for Fearless. I think it’s fun to put yourself under crazy pressure to finish a song by a certain deadline. That’s what I did with this last song. And that makes 13 songs on the new album. 13….. I think that’s a good number of songs to end up with….<3

“Forever & Always is about when I was in a relationship with someone and I was just watching him slowly slip away. I didn't know why, because I wasn't doing anything different. I didn't do anything wrong. He was just fading. It’s about the confusion and frustration of wondering why? What changed? When did it change? What did I do wrong? In this case, the guy I wrote it about ended up breaking up with me for another girl. Guess I know why he was fading.”

September 26, 2008: White Horse is premeried on Grey's Anatomy.

September 30, 2008: [From MySpace] “So this week, we’re in “final approval mode” for the album. You know, all the emails that say in the subject lines “Fearless album booklet: FINAL APPROVAL” or “CD design: FINAL APPROVAL”. So I’m doing a lot of approving. And then they send it to the magical CD maker people and they make all the CDs just in time for November 11. Actually, it’s called the distribution branch, but I prefer “the magical CD maker people”.”

Somewhere during the last two weeks of September: Drama Queen, co-written with Martin Johnson is written and recorded. It will be mastered along the rest of the Fearless songs and another re-recording of R-E-V-E-N-G-E (not the one leaked). Since the song was mastered, it's considered an outtake and not a demo.

Fun fact: Along with I'd Lie, Drama Queen and R-E-V-E-N-G-E are the only three unreleased songs to have been mastered.

IMPORTANT PERSONAL NOTE: I know that a lot of people think that Drama Queen is exclusively a Speak Now cut, but this is not my opinion, but what the master engineer (Hank Williams) and Big Machine officially declared. Feel free to not believe them though. It's totally possible it was considered for Fearless Platinum or for Speak Now (and I believe it was) but cut in favour of Better Than Revenge, but it doesn't change the fact that it's also a Fearless cut. If you really have proof that Big Machine falsified documents, call them out, don't waste time coming after me, I just copy-past stuff. They're already considered liars anyway.

October 14, 2008: Through Countdown to Fearless, an exclusive campaign by the iTunes Store, Fearless is released as a promotional single.

October 28, 2008: You're Not Sorry is released as a promotional single through ITunes. The physical copies are also completed.

[From MySpace] Just letting everyone know that my new song “You’re Not Sorry” comes out on iTunes tonight at midnight, so check it out! I stopped by the label today and held the actual CD in my hands… It’s finished. It’s ready to go. TWO WEEKS! Let me know what you think of the new song!

November 4, 2008: You Belong With Me is released as a promotional single through ITunes.

November 11, 2008: Fearless is finally released.

March 19, 2009 (not confirmed): [From MySpace] “I've been in the studio all day (I know, I know.. We JUST put out a new album. I think I have a problem, I cannot stop writing songs.)”. The song is possibly Mr. Perfectly Fine.

[Alexa Skill for Taylor's Version] “Mr Perfectly Fine was definitely an early indicator of me sort of creeping towards a pop sensibility. I've always listened to every type of music and even though Fearless is a country album, there were always these pop melodies creeping in. But I really love this song and, I love the bridge, I think the lyrics are just wonderfully scathing and full of the teen angst that you would hope to hear on an album that I wrote when I was 17 or 18 or you know on that cusp.”

April 23, 2009: The Fearless Tour starts in Evansville, Indiana.

October 26, 2009: Fearless Platinum Edition is released.

«The six new songs on the Fearless [Platinum Edition] are songs that I either recorded and wrote really recently, wrote maybe a year ago and almost put on Fearless but decided not to for one reason or another, or a songs that I wrote when I was 14/15 and re-recorded recently. It's a good mixture of songs from different time periods throughout my life. When I make an album, I always have a general theme for it. And when I hear songs, or go back and listen to old ones, there are some that I know fit in with the theme.»

Check out my Spreadsheet with all the writing and recording dates.

Follow my playlist 'Fearless in Chronological Order'.

Go to my Writing of Speak Now Timeline

Go to my Writing of Red Timeline

Go to my Writing of Red Timeline (VIDEO EDITION)

Other Sources used:

U.S. Copyright Office;

Mastering Archive Website;

Sony/ATV Catalogue;

Fearlyssa/Rare TS Songs Website;

Alexa Skills from Fearless TV (audio courtesy of u/emmafan3070, transcripts by me);

Big Machine Interviews Archive;

Taylor's Concert History (also Colbie Caillat's);

TS MySpace Archive on Tumblr

Taylor Swift Switzerland

Last but certainly not least, the king of Taylor's timeline: Robert Ellis Orrall.

#taylor swift #writing of fearless timeline #i just realized i hadn't posted this one here yet ops #i think i wrote this in december 2021 #but i only posted it on reddit #fearless era #fearless taylor's version #taylor swift unreleased songs #taylor swift timelines

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oneshot-twm-but-tv-headed · 20 days

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[Run this, put this here...]

[?]

[What's this...?]

#os game rp #[twm]#Twm being oddly cryptic #(just realized I hadn't posted anything here for a hot minute)#(so I'm fixing it)#(in the most vague way I possibly can)

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mattodore · 10 months

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made some changes to mattodore's sims so now i've been flipping back and forth between screenshots of their newer vs. older versions for the last ten minutes trying to decide if i wanna keep the changes or not. agony. pain. grief AND wailing. slings and arrows.

#river dipping #have i slept at all? no #i originally opened the sims just to test out the changes i made to my cas bg w/ the help of vyx <333 #um but well. then i was spinning theo around in cas and i realized how crazy it is how little skin details he and matthias have #so i finally started going through all the categories and added things here and there... i added some shading to theo's face #and then i was like wow that looks great let me do the same to matthias but... looking at him now i'm thinking not djkfghkf #he's too pale for that i think it makes him look... idk off. so i'll probably be completely reverting matthias's sim back #but theo.......... he looks SOOOO much better now #i FINALLY went in and gave him an overlay for his body which i hadn't done... for whatever reason?#honestly matthias needs a new one as well but i think i'll have to make him a custom blend for him so his face isn't layered over. ugh.#i also need to make his skintone ww compatible so i might do those both at the same time... 😑#then again i say this but ykw i still haven't done? fix the color of his eyebrows despite saying i was gonna do that days ago.#i'm a liar. i lie.#………………… <- posts i was in the middle of writing nearly seven hours ago and fell asleep on before posting #and now i’ve woken up with futile devices by sufjan stuck in my head so yeah. today’s gonna be a crazy one probably #good morning i guess djfhfgsgdf

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jewishboricua · 6 months

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Rebecca was one of my favorite American Girl dolls when I was younger, now look at me

#this is lighthearted #sorry i'm just looking back at my past and wow i was a funny kid #i saw a post on here say that converts are 'jewish people that hadn't realized it yet' and i love that #jumblr #jewblr #jewish #judaism #jew by choice #jewish conversion #american girl #aggie talks

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niuxita21 · 11 months

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She’s literally SO PRETTY YOUR HONOUR I’m gonna call the police (pun intended)

#sin huellas #catalina pardo #shitty screencap posts (TM)#delayed but my computer crashed and I'm only just now regaining access to it #'if you want something done right you have to do it yourself' is apparently my fandom motto laughcry #I am single-handedly going to populate the catalina pardo tag if it's the last thing I do #anyway siri how do I deal with having a crush-adjacent situation with someone I used to see around the patio at recess???#this is new territory for me lmao #also she looks EXACTLY THE SAME it's freaking me the fuck out #from telenovelas to lead on an amazon show sharing screentime with the likes of silvia alonso and álex gadea you're doing amazing sweetie!!#also fun (and kinda weird) fact: when I was a kid I used to dream of having a cat named camila one day #I literally hadn't thought about that in AGES but it popped into my head recently and I realized something #that's a weirdly specific name to want to give your cat... and I think it's bc I always thought she was the prettiest girl in the school #and had such a pretty name #you could even say she was the first girl my age I ever had a crush on although I'd need a bit more introspection to corroborate that #and now I get to blog about her (respectfully) here on tumblr dot com #life is weird and wonderful sometimes #anyway pls go watch this show so it gets a season 2 #I need camila to stay employed on something that's right up my alley so that I can continue to fully enjoy her

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itzastirstea · 2 years

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#re reading this for the third time #and I realized I hadn't post this here #so yeah #I'm crying again and they just found Michael #tumoasd #defenestration #ranboo fanart #tommyinnit fanart #tumoasd fanart #itzastirsart

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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Thoughts on Redecorate by twenty one pilots being a Vacker siblings song? (Each verse belonging to Alvar, Biana, and Fitz respectively.)

I was about to very anxiously inform you that there are more than three versus in the songs before I realized you meant aside from the chorus between each.

In the Alvar verse the very first thing that jumped out to me was "Never asked permissions he just hopes that they forgive," because that's exactly what his approach was. He turned his back on his family and said that one day they'd understand, that he was doing it for the good of the world. He's okay with being misunderstood for his mission, thinks it easier to ask for amends than permission. But I don't think he's necessarily sorry about it either. There's also "Tried looking at it from a new perspective" because he's the Vacker who did something different; he's the one that went to the extremes. He took their legacy and twisted it into something different, found the ugly parts about it. He doesn't ask for permission and he's what's new in their family. There are other lines I could bring up as well but for the sake of space those are the two that seemed most prudent

Then for Biana's verse we've got "She's not afraid of her reflection / But of what she might see behind it," because at surface level she's proud of her appearance. She's proud of what she's overcome and her scars and she's no longer afraid of her reflection. But there's also the matter of Alvar thinking she's the one who would understand why he did what he did, what the Vacker Legacy is. So I think she could be worried about who she could become, what part of herself Alvar sees and thinks he can connect to. And that's the part of herself she's afraid to see, the thing behind her. i think that can be taken a step further with "Then one night she got cold with no blankets on her bed / So she ripped them off the mirror, stepped back and she said / I don't wanna go like this." Because any doubt she has she'll find a way to face them head on. Any worries she has about herself she'll find a way to overcome and to challenge, and whatever Alvar saw in her doesn't matter because it's not what he thinks it is. It's not anything in the mirror behind her, it's a part of her and that makes it hers to control, not something to be afraid of.

Finally there's Fitz starting off interestingly with "And he feels trapped when he's not inebriated," which I think we can apply to how he's such a fixed person in everyone's mind and gets stuck in that without an outlet. He's the golden boy. He's wonderboy. He's the youngest telepath to naturally manifest. And that can get suffocating if he doesn't find something else to do, something else to be. It's not exactly inebriation for him, but instead ways to loosen up and find himself like in bramble and base quest. Combining that with "I repeat, scaled back and isolated / He says he likes an open schedule but he mostly hates it" we can get more of a sense of how alone he is in his role. It's lonely at the top and he doesn't know how to get down, or even if he wants to brave that leap. Acting like it's okay when everything is so tumultuous and strained around him.

My conclusion is that yes you are very right that song can be applied to the Vacker siblings excellently! it's an interesting perspective to look at their relationship and existence through, so thank you for the recommendation!

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc music analysis #quil's queries #xanadaus #i was about to be like 'there are more than three versus so i'm guessing here but *analysis*' and then I realized there was a repeating #verse for all the others #in my defense at that point I'd just opened up the lyrics and saw like seven paragraphs so. i hadn't actually read it yet #but anyway that is not the point #long post

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nobodysuspectsthebutterfly · 1 year

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I posted 8,123 times in 2022

That's 1,044 more posts than 2021!

34 posts created (0%)

8,089 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@someasoiafart

@mariedemedicis

@hylialeia

@fortunate-hal

@phoenix

I tagged 8,109 of my posts in 2022

#queue and me we're in this together now - 8,042 posts

#asoiaf - 5,703 posts

#asoiaf art - 4,399 posts

#excellent - 1,976 posts

#lovely - 1,364 posts

#asoiaf graphics - 944 posts

#house of the dragon - 940 posts

#sansa stark - 524 posts

#lololol - 510 posts

#fancasting - 498 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#dunno if “a familicide” is a title in the same way “a regicide” is? oh oed says “parricide” was the word though it usually means father now

My Top Posts in 2022:

"Peace", by rhett_77/@rhe77, posted to tumblr with the permission of the artist.

383 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

Ok, so, this is probably ridiculous, and I can't believe I have a House of the Dragon theory before it even airs (I can barely believe I have a HOTD theory at all), but...

Since the release of The Princess and the Queen in 2013, and through everything published about the Dance of the Dragons since then (TRP, TWOIAF, F&B), it's known that Daemon and Aemond Targaryen have a lot of parallels. Besides the most obvious point of their names (just move the D, lol), they're both hotheaded, vengeful, kinslayers, brutal and ruthless, excellent swordsmen, more martial and physically active than their kingly older brother who they were nevertheless devoted to... culminating in their final showdown in the Battle Over the Gods Eye, the aging older model vs the would-be "new hotness". Though a major difference is that fandom tends to treat Aemond as far more of a pretentious wannabe, a bad Xerox copy with his marysueish sapphire eye and ooh so hardcore dialogue, generally disliked while Daemon is beloved (or at least opinions are far more split), the Darkstar to his Oberyn.

See the full post

399 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

He didn’t break his oath but he broke my heart 💔 - by Rachel Hoo (raychelwho)

936 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

"But Rhaenyra's heir was a bastard! That means the Greens were right to support Aegon II instead of her!"

So you're telling me, if Rhaenyra had by chance married Harwin Strong, and he was her only husband, and she had 5 very legitimate dark-haired sons with him... Alicent would've just sat back and let Rhaenyra take the throne instead of Aegon? Criston would have? Otto would have? All the other lords of Westeros would have preferred a woman as ruling Queen, instead of the king's son?

Well. That's news to GRRM, because in an early version of the Dance, Rhaenyra was married to a Strong, and had three legitimate kids with him... and the Dance of the Dragons still happened.

See the full post

1,119 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

When I first met him... he was the most gallant of lovers. He knew so many things. He delighted in sharing his knowledge. He had a castle full of treasures, and he took such pleasure in showing them, giving them to me. He was so gentle, and his skin felt like white silk against my skin. And I gave what I could give to one such as he. When we made love, it was like a flame: I felt utterly engulfed, utterly loved. Treasured. I have been with many poets, many dreamers... but his love alone was ice and fire. His eyes were stars.

Calliope, in The Sandman #71, by Neil Gaiman

4,271 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#happy new year!#tumblr2022 #bestoftumblr #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #2022 #tumblr #about me #my top 10 tags are... not surprising (of course my most common tag is my queue tag)#more than a thousand posts more than last year - i'm sure that's due to increasing my queue frequency as there was more asoiaf to post #my original post content is unfortunately just as bad as last year (maybe 2023 will be better)#but at least i posted more original meta - though of the top ones here one is a hotd theory that didn't work out lol #hadn't realized the other one had passed 1k... that's nice #but my no.1 post is sandman lol. that is genuinely hilarious to me (i knew people would like the quote but not *that* much lol)#kinda wish tumblr could get the stats for our most popular reblog. like the non original post most reblogged from you #though i'm pretty sure for me that was the inspirational straitjacket escape video post where i added the transcription #(got a lot of followers from that idky but i hope they like my blog)#anyway that was my tumblr 2022. better than last year. but dang i need to post more original stuff again

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underwhelmingalchemist · 20 days

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So apparently the version of the "Isn't It Bromantic" interview that gets passed around isn't the full thing

So after seeing a tumblr post I can't find, about two and half hours of intensive internet digging, and one purchase from a sketchy second-hand site later (full story under the cut, I promise it's interesting, but also long), I got the physical magazine and scanned it

So here you go: the full "Isn't It Bromantic?" TV guide interview with Robert Sean Leonard and Hugh Laurie

Feel free to repost wherever you want- I want people to be able to find the full thing

SO, as for how I found it:

I saw this tumblr post forever ago that I can't find anymore because tumblr is just Like That with a cropped screenshot of an interview with Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard. In the interview, they're asked about the "bromance" between their two characters. Leonard makes an annoyed comment about how "everyone [is] obsessed with homosexuality", followed by the interview apologizing and Laurie immediately jumping in with, "No, no, let's talk about it. Wilson and House have an unusual relationship so you have to explore…" and the screenshot cuts off there. Cue funny comment from the OP about the interaction, roll credits.

Except, as these things tend to do, it ended up becoming a bit of a brain worm, and I wanted to find it again. But I couldn't find the tumblr post. I looked absolutely everywhere, and in the process of looking everywhere, I found what I thought was the original interview- a blog post with the full quote from the actor. I didn't think too much about it, I figured it was just a short quote given to a popular blog in 2008. There's a magazine cover above it, but I don't think too much about it, because I'm focusing on the quotes in the article instead of the rest of it.

So I send screenshots to a couple friends to make jokes, and it probably should have died there.

However, late at night I end up thinking about that interview again, because of course I did. I start to think about how it's weirdly formatted for, what I assumed at first reading, was just an entertainment news blog reaching out for comment and getting a response. So I pull up the screenshots of the article (because weirdly enough, the old-ass blog only loads on mobile) and look at it again.

This is when I realize that this isn't an original piece from a blog interviewing these two after reaching out for comment. This is a blog post quoting and commenting on a full interview from a magazine, which I had originally thought had just been the inspiration for the piece.

So naturally, I go looking for the magazine.

Luckily, the name of the magazine is displayed on the cover, and so is the title of its main piece. This should be easy to find, right?

Wrong.

This is an interview in a physical magazine. From 2008. October 13th, 2008, to be exact.

I know this exact date because searching the article title and magazine name leads me to an archive on the TV Guide website.

Of covers.

And nothing but covers.

I spend like forty-five minutes searching everywhere I can think of on the web. Internet Archive, the TV Guide website, any search result that comes up when I search any combination of the words "House" "Interview" "Bromantic" "Bromance" "TV Guide" "Archive" etc. Over and over, all that's coming up are that original blog post and the cover from the official gallery.

The only things I could find online were:

The cover and date of the issue on the TV Guide website

The original blog post that was screenshotted in the original tumblr post

Another blog post that had a much shorter version of the quote, references something Leonard says from later in the article, and makes a comment on the nature of his reaction to the term "bromance"

An entry on Leonard's IMDB page's "interview" list mentioning it in title only

And:

5. A single listing for the issue on what seemed to be a second-hand site that looked like it hadn't had its UI updated since the mid 2000's, with a listing with no date or additional information besides what issue it is.

This is the only listing anywhere. I checked every other second-hand site I could think of, and then some that only came up through google searches. There's not a single listing for that issue on any of them. There were plenty of listings of TV guide magazines, including one that seemed promising because it included issues from that year, but it was missing all of October.

It seemed like the only listing for this issue on the entire internet was this one copy on this one obscure website. For all I know, this was listed in 2008 and abandoned, and just never got marked inactive. It could also be a complete scam.

A few quick google searches show that that website seemed to be legit, albeit a bit loose on quality control (which makes sense, this website seemed like the kind of thing you'd have to use the Way Back Machine to access). It also had an option to pay via PayPal, which meant I could file a chargeback if need be.

It was $11.50 when you include shipping.

So at about half past midnight, I bought the listing.

Naturally, about an hour later, I manage to actually find a scan of the interview. I had to follow a link in the comments of a post on FanPop, taking me to an old wordpress blog, and I'm sitting in front of the damn interview at last.

But something doesn't make sense. Why would their cover story only be two pages of text that aren't even full pages, and why would it cut off so strangely? There was no concluding sentence or paragraph, even though it started with a fairly long lead-in. It also led right up to the edge of the page, which felt like there should be more to it. There were more images in the interview than text, and the fact that there are so many of them and they clearly did a whole photoshoot indicated that they had them on hand for a while. The silly string one, for instance, I imagine probably had to require a couple takes, which means cleaning off Wilson's hair and face, adjusting makeup, etc. for it. Meanwhile, the conversation itself seems like it could have taken ten minutes total. I could have been totally wrong and that was where the article ended, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there might be more.

So I hold tight. A couple days pass with no update, and then the PayPal purchase gets updated with a tracking number. Promising, but it could still be a scam. Whether or not I get the actual magazine becomes a source of anxiety for the next week.

Until today, when I get told it was delivered. And when I opened the envelope it was sent in: there it was.

When I tell you I was happy stimming in my bedroom just holding the damn issue in my own hands... And then opening it and finding out that I was right, there was a missing page... I was elated. I still am, just typing this.

So I spent half an hour getting my scanner to work, and I give you the above issues.

Like I said above, feel free to repost however and wherever you want. I want all this to mean something.

In the meantime, I have two more House-themed TV Guide magazines coming to try and get articles from.

#i am so psyched to have found this you have no idea #house #house md #hatecrimes md #malpractice md #gregory house #james wilson #hugh laurie #robert sean leonard #tv guide #magazine #interview #house interview #isn't it bromantic #hilson

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nariism · 6 months

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ೃ⁀➷ THIEF! ★

Based off this ask by @raphuna-nekomada !!

The first time, Neuvillette brushed it off as if nothing had happened.

He spent the entire morning looking for his dedicated Monday bow, black with silver intricacies that you personally picked out for him many years ago.

"Must be a sign from the universe not to go into work," you hummed from the bed, rolling over and inviting him back under the blanket. He hadn't indulged you on Monday, instead opting to use his Tuesday ribbon and huffing about how he would find the missing article later.

The second time it happened, he was suspicious.

Two days in a row his ribbon had gone missing, now his Wednesday ribbon had been used for Tuesday. It irked him, and while he had no other reason to suspect that you were the culprit, the way you beckoned him back to bed again flicked a switch in his mind.

Ultimately, he hadn't indulged you on Tuesday either.

The third time it happens, he saunters up to your side of the bed immediately.

"My love," he calls, and for a moment you think he hasn't caught you because he's lacking any sort of stern tone— the kind he would address Wriothesley with.

"Yes?" You peer up at him with a glimmer of mischief, clutching something to your chest. His eyes narrow and he kneels onto the bed beside you.

"Have you seen my ribbon?"

"I haven't."

"Are you sure? I'm certain I left it on the dresser last night."

"You must be imagining things, dearest."

You give him a sly, lazy smile and that's when he knows you're nothing but a terrible liar. He nearly scoffs in your face, leaning down closer so he can look at you with a hardening expression.

"And what exactly is your ploy here? Would you like me to wrestle it out of your hands?"

Your eyes widen in surprise for a moment before you laugh, clearly finding his suggestion humorous. "Would it keep you at home longer if you did?"

The gears turn in his head at your words, slow realization washing over him as you blink up innocently. (Feigning innocence, actually. Poorly.)

Ah, so that's what this is all about.

"You want me to stay home?"

A beat of silence. "And if I said yes?"

"You know my answer." Yet he hasn't pulled away, gotten off the bed, and left for work like he does every morning. In fact, you're pretty sure he's drawn a couple inches closer to you.

The fabric you stole from him suddenly wraps around the back of the neck and you rein him in until he's hovering just above you, arms and legs caging you in on either side.

"Got you," you sing quietly.

His gaze flickers down to your lips and then back to your eyes. "You got me," he repeats in faux defeat, swooping down to capture you in a kiss.

He starts to think that maybe a day off wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, but he has more than one trial today and there is no one to fill his role in his absence.

Still, Neuvillette decides that he can come to a compromise if only to hold you like this before his busy day. Besides, if he didn't indulge you now this would never end.

"Ten more minutes."

"Ouch. Stingy."

He smothers you under his body so you'll stop talking.

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aethelwyneleigh27 · 2 months

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Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley Drabble

Hi lovelies! Lia here again, I've been quite busy with school so I hope you guys can be a little patient with content since I've been stuck on a slump and there's a lot of things I'm currently busy with at the moment because of school despite posting so much last week. Here's the weekly content and I hope you all enjoy :)

Also how do you all feel if I write works inspired by old gacha songs? And yes I used to be a gacha girly, it was some wild phase AHAHAHA

My CoD Masterlist

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thesnowurzikdjinn @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @cutenote @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000

Brainrot, Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley who decided he wanted to get a divorce with you because things weren't working out between the both of you, so you had to share custody of your daughter.

You managed to get yourself together, having no time to grieve that part of you that he took with him because you had a little one depending on you. You loved that girl for all she was, however she brings you and Simon together.

Not that you resent her for it, god no, it wasn't her fault you and your husband couldn't see eye to eye.. that he refused to retire after everything, maybe it was just your paranoia getting to you. You couldn't stand the fear anymore, the fear of one day he's not the one you'll see when you open the front door but Price.

You forgot how difficult it was doing this on your own until now, you could barely get up, your head was actually killing you. You pushed through, making your daughter breakfast.

You felt like you were about to throw up, ears started to ring and everything else felt numb. The next thing you know was your eyes rolling back and everything going black, the last thing you heard was your toddler panicking, calling you over and over on the verge of crying.

All while you were unconscious, your little one runs to your room to look for your phone to call her dad.

"Listen I know we—" Simon said expecting you on the phone before getting cut off by his daughter..

"Dada! Momma's dead, dada. Momma's not breathing!" In a panic, she cried it out like a mantra. Simon was in a panic, he got up from where he was and was speeding towards what used to be your shared home.

The next thing you know, you were hearing the beeps of a heart monitor. All your senses were working, all except sight.. you didn't have enough energy to open them, in the coldness of your whole body from the well ventilated room, you felt warmth on your hand.

It was all too familiar, calloused but so gentle and warm. Simon.. it was Simon. All while processing this situation, all that's going through Simon's head are the what ifs.

"Fucking hell, help her.. My wife, she's been unconscious for thirty minutes. She's breathing but it's faint and she's burning" Simon almost yelled in a full panic, he was doing his best not to snap at the hospital staff but how couldn't he? Hadn't even realized that he called you something you weren't anymore, the title he took with him.

Your little one holding her dad's hand in the waiting room, she was observant, an emotionally intelligent little girl who holds her dad's hand. Simon keeps reminding himself to calm down, how much his bumblebee must be terrified, far more than he was so he takes her in his arms.

Sooner or later they were allowed to enter, doctor said you were stabilized and only collapsed from a horrid fever and so much fatigue. Thinking of losing you, just like that with no warning would be the second time Simon would lose you.

Now watching you unconscious, IV tube connected to you because of course you haven't been eating well either. It made him rethink everything, was it a mistake to give you those papers? Was it worth it losing the one person in his life who he would give his life for with no hesitation?

All he could do for now was sit next to you, no matter how long it takes for you to wake up because he doesn't have the strength to leave, maybe in a day or two but not now..

Part 2 anyone?

#cod x reader #aethelwyne lia writes #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #cod headcanons #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x you #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost #simon riley #simon riley x you #simon riley x plus size reader #simon riley x y/n #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost x you #ghost x plus size reader #ghost x female reader #ghost x y/n

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heartless-tate · 2 months

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Notice Me! | Part two | Azriel X Freader

Azriel x Freader | Part one

Summary: Azriel courting oblivi reader

a/n; Heyy! This is the last part guys! Hope you enjoy 🤗 also I really recommend looking up the meaning of the flowers after you read. 💕

content/trigger warnings; food, cussing, kissing, one or two use y/n, no smut BUT some lust and hints to masturbation, Azriel pining, Cassian being sassy, FEM reader (if you’d like me to make a another post with male reader, message me!) she/her pronouns for reader, rain mention and I think that’s it. If I missed something, feel free to message me on it!💗

You are in a warm bath, infused with the scent of essential oils, a perfect remedy to the grime from your training. You shake the thought out of your head, cursing yourself. Azriel didn’t like you like that. Cassian kisses Feyre on the cheek all the time, so why did it mean anything different if he kissed you? It didn’t mean anything different. But still, ever since he had left for his mission you found yourself running your fingers over your cheek.

It felt as though your skin was ablaze, heat gathering in your thighs. You abruptly reached towards them, water splashing. Halting yourself, you felt a surge of guilt and shame. If Azriel knew what you were thinking, he'd avoid your gaze forever. The thought made you feel sick. You groaned aloud, resting your head against the edge of the tub. You longed for him, missed his enticing cooking and physique. No, just his cooking. You chastised yourself again. Bad thoughts!

Goosebumps arose on your skin. The water had become ice cold. You rose from the water, letting the air chill your skin. Your nipples hardened, and you wondered if it was from your imagination or the cold air. You quickly leaped from the tub, landing on the mat. You wrapped your towel around your body after drying your wet hair.

Your bare feet padded against the floor as you walked out of the bathroom, letting the house magic take care of the leftover water. Your room felt warmer upon entering, soothing you. The room smelt like musk and bourbon. Like Azriel almost. You shivered with delight, stepping to your vanity. You reached for your hair brush, looking into the mirror only to be met with horror.

You yelped in shock, turning to face the shadowsinger. He sat on your bed, holding one of your books. His wings were spread lazily on your covers. He huffed a laugh at your reaction, grinning. “That’s certainly not the welcoming I was expecting.” He concurred smugly.

“Azriel..” You muttered. He was early. And you hadn’t expected him to be here. “How long have you been back?” you asked. He smiled.

“I’ve been here for fifteen minutes waiting for you to get out of,” he paused, his eyes trailing down to your body, “your bath..”

You felt your face heat, suddenly realizing you wore nothing but a small towel. Your body was glistening wet. He looked you back in the eyes with a small smirk.

“Oh cauldron!” You squeaked, wrapping your arms around your body more tightly. He laughed, heartily. Azriel shook his head before standing. He laid your book down and with embarrassment you realized it was one of your more smuttier books. And by that you mean it was pure porn. There was nothing more embarrassing about this situation. He smirked at you again, before taking a few steps towards you. You notice there are fresh flowers on your nightstand now. It was a bouquet of red and pink flowers you hadn't seen before. You’d have to look them up in your flower guide.

“I have a training session where I plan on beating Cas’s ass, but I wanted to see you first. We’ll have lunch in around two hours, okay?” He demanded gently. You nodded shyly, unable to think of a coherent response. He smiled, pleased. He walked forward, and you hoped he would kiss you again. Just not on the cheek. But alas, he pulled you in a hug, his warm muscly body a hard contrast to your cold one. Your right hand held your towel in place, while your left wrapped around him. He shivered, and you figured it was due to your wet hair?

Azriel let go quickly and abruptly and you wondered if you did something wrong. He smiled tightly. “See you in two hours, love.” He whispered affectionately before turning and taking flight from your balcony.

He left you standing there, wet all over, confused, warm, and also shivering. You still couldn’t wrap your head around this feeling you had.

After you changed into a tank top and shorts you approached the flowers on your nightstand. They were gorgeous. You bit your lip as you grabbed a flower guide book, ready to find what type of flowers they were.

They were pink bluebells and red chrysanthemums.

A beautiful sandwich filled with all your favorite toppings, sat in front of you. Courtesy to Azriel. You sighed, wondering if you’d ever be as good as a cook Azriel was. It was truly a hidden talent of his. There wasn’t something he couldn’t fix.

A warm leathery wing brushed on your bare shoulder as he passed by. He sat his food down beside yours before pulling out a chair and setting it directly by yours. It was now lunch time. Both Cassian and Azriel were sweaty muscly messes. Their skin glistened with pure sweat. And you wondered how Azriel still managed to smell like a god still. After you left your room, you spent some time enjoying the morning breeze and relaxing. When it came time for lunch, you walked to the dining area. Azriel was waiting for you in the kitchen where he made your sandwich and a drink for you. Every detail of it was to your liking.

Cassian, of course, stood in the corner complaining about Azriel never fixing him sandwiches. Azriel had knocked him in the face with his wing, shutting him up. Cassian stayed in the kitchen, munching on some snacks. He feigned not paying attention to you nor Azriel.

Both of your chairs were back less, as to accommodate for wings. Sure, your skin felt a little chilly in the air due to your tank top. But Azriel’s wing, warm from training in the sun, stayed on your back. It was comforting. Like a blanket that's been sitting by a cozy fireplace.

Azriel pushed the plate towards you again, motioning for you to start eating. When you started, and he was sure you were satisfied with the taste, he started eating his too. And, of course, everything tasted perfect. When you both finished, the house took care of the plates. Cassian and Nesta had joined at the other end of the table, talking to each other as they ate. You caught yourself admiring them- the love they had. That you felt you would never have. They bickered, sure. But they were so in love. You couldn’t help but envy them. If only a guy loved you like that.

Your thoughts broke when Azriel started talking. He had a soft smile as he told you of his mission. Apparently the queens were doing okay and hadn’t been stirring up trouble, so he was able to leave early.

“You didn’t starve while I was away did you? Next time I’ll drag you with me so I can actually focus on my mission.” He muttered running his hands through his hair. Azriel always spoke softly unless angry. Or at least you had never heard him get loud. You didn’t catch Cassian and Nesta smirking at you both. Nesta couldn’t help but snort to herself. You were so oblivious. You didn’t even seem to notice Azriel only ran his mouth like this when around you. He seemed so open with you and comfortable.

“Of course I didn’t starve- wait, why couldn’t you focus on your mission?” You inquired, confused.

“Ah- No reason, dear.” He responded. His pet name went over your head. Azriel bit his lower lip, staring at you with intent eyes. He couldn’t help but feel amused by your blatant obliviousness. Your eyes went to where Cassian sat across from you with his eyes closed, kissing and smacking his lips, like he was making out with the air. Your eyebrows furrowed at the weirdness until he stopped and pointed at Azriel, then you. Nesta slapped him and he realized he had been caught. You were about to question his weird antics before a wing blocked your sight towards them.

You turned to where Azriel had gotten closer. He used his wing to make sure ALL of your attention was on him.“I have to go meet with Rhys soon. But when I get back, we need to talk.” He said sternly. His eyes were hardened and your face dropped. Did you do something wrong? He noticed the look and smiled softly to reassure you.

“Wait for me here?” He asked. And you nodded, still nervous. Your hands came together to fiddle awkwardly but Azriel’s hands laid on top of yours. He lifted your hands and kissed the top of both of them. You blushed at the intimacy. He lifted his head, and ran a hand through his hair.

He stood, still holding your hand with one of his. The room had gone quiet. Like it was just you and him. He leaned forward and kissed your forehead. You felt the heat and softness of his lips as they pressed to your head. Your bottom lip quivered as you looked shyly to the floor. What was happening? You didn’t even know anymore. Your body didn’t feel like it was yours anymore.

He stood and winked at you playfully before heading to the balcony and once again spreading those giant wings and shooting into the air. You sighed to yourself before realizing that Cassian and Nesta were both staring at you. Cassian sighed and looked to Nesta.

“I’ll bet you 80 gold coins-“ he started, but Nesta slapped a hand on his mouth so he couldn’t finish. She smiled at you before grabbing Cassian and leaving you alone in the room, deep in your thoughts.

Rhysand’s office was warmer then the rest of his house today. Azriel was filling him in on his recent mission. And to his distaste, that meant he had to be away from you. He didn't care that he’d be back within a few hours, he had already suffered during his mission. Being away from you- not being able to smell you on his clothes anymore, distressed him more then he cared to admit. He remembers worrying if you had ate, or if you forgot to eat again. His wings bristled at the memory. Upon coming back to you, he couldn't be bothered to care you had just got out of the bath. He thanked the Mother for blessing him with such good timing. You were so god damn beautiful, and if that towel had dropped- Azriel wouldn’t have left that room for a good fucking long while.

He had been too excited to even care that you were wet and only in a towel, he just had to hug you. But he didn't expect to feel his cock stiffen. He couldn’t help it, your body in his arms felt so good. You were so fucking pretty, it hurt. Azriel was embarrassed that he lost control of his own body. He planned on holding you for longer, but when your hand wrapped around his back, it brushed that sensitive part of his wing, sending a jolt to his dick. He had to rip away before you felt the growing hardness in his pants, and he felt so bad seeing your face of confusion. You hadn’t meant too. And you looked so hurt and you didn't even know what your had done. He cursed his body hating his lack of control, but didn't want you to think he was a creep so he left early to take care of himself.

“Az? Are you listening?”

Azriel snapped out of his thoughts and turned back to where his brother sat. Rhysand sighed and shook his head before repeating himself.

“I was asking if you could run to Velaris and pick up some medicine from Madja? Feyre has been having some headaches.”

Azriel’s eyebrows furrowed and he contemplated. Of course, he loved his high lady and didn’t want her to be in pain. But he wanted to get back to you fast. He needed your presence. Soon. Before he lost his mind. “Can’t you just winnow yourself? It’d be a lot faster then me having to fly.” He proposed.

Rhysand bristled slightly at Azriel’s slight coldness. He knew his brother, and knew he didn't mean it personally. Rhysand smirked. “Cassian warned me of this.”

“Warned you of what?” Azriel asked. ”He told me you get extremely pissy whenever you’ve been away from her for too long.” Rhysand spoke, with a knowing smile.

Azriel knew he was talking of you. His eyebrows furrowed and scowled at his brother before huffing. Before he could reply Rhys continued.

“It’s alright, we get it. Cas and I have both been through it with our mates.” Azriel didn’t respond this time. He shook his head with a slight growl. How come everyone could see his affection for you- but you? It was infuriating! He hoped maybe kissing your cheek would make you magically realize he had loved you, but it didn’t. Cauldron! How much more obvious does he need to make it?

Rhys dismissed him with his signature smirk, the all knowing bastard too smug for Azriel’s liking tonight.

Azriel wasn’t back yet. And the sun had already set, leaving it dark outside. You wondered what was taking him so long to tell Rhys of his mission. In reality you were more worried of what he wanted to talk about. You currently sat by the fireplace in your room, letting the heat warm your body. You had left the balcony doors open, assuming Azriel would fly through there.

You had two candles burning, and a book open in your hands. The sound of pitter patter against the marble floors distracted you from your book. You turned your head to the balcony doors and sighed, seeing it was raining. the water was getting on your floor. You grabbed a towel from the bathroom, and wiped the water from the floor. You closed the door to the balcony, but leaving it unlocked for him.

You turned around, noticing the flowers. You smiled joyfully. It was nice always having a pair of fresh flowers, thanks to Azriel.

“Pay more attention.”

You remembered Mor’s words. What were you suppose to pay attention to? You had already dissected every single memory you had of Azriel, but you coulnd’t find anything in your mind that was out of the ordinary. You sighed, rubbing your temples. Nothing made sense anymore. You ran a hand through your hair, stressed.

You looked around the room before your eyes found the flowers again. You remembered Azriel giving you a book that had the meanings flowers last Starfall. Your eyes snapped to the floating bookshelf Azriel has installed in your room two years ago. You quickly approached it, running your fingers across the titles until you found the right one. You pulled the book out, grazing the cover with your fingertips.

You sat by the fireplace, flipping through until you found the flowers you were looking for.

A whooshing sound came from your balcony, prompting you to close the book and stand, walking to your nightstand and laying it down. You turned to the door of the balcony, watching it open. Azriel stepped in, hair wet from rain. Water dripped from his body onto your floor. He wanted slightly eyes latching onto yours. He held a small pink box that he had managed to keep dry. You briefly wondered what it was until he started to walk towards you. Determination was in his eyes as he walked fast, in front of you within seconds. He licked his lips, looking at your eyes.

Everything froze, and it was just you and him. Standing there. His eyes were dilated and filled with affection now. You didn’t notice him setting the box on your nightstand, never breaking eye contact. His eyes flicked down to your lips, before looking back up. You felt the tension in the room. His eyes seemed to glow more tonight. Brighter than the fire.

You looked back to where the flowers were and then back back to him.

“Why did you give me pink bluebells and red chrysanthemums?” You asked, you voice barely above a whisper.

Azriel cocked his head to the side, studying you. His shadows whirl around, some coming to play with your hair. The tendrils swirl gently around you.

“Why do you think I gave them to you?” He responded. His voice was roughed, but gentle. You looked away to the floor and shrugged, feeling shy under his unwavering stare.

“Answer me.”

You felt a hand on your chin, turning your face back to his. His thumb rubbed mindlessly at your jaw.

“I don’t know..” You replied. He was closer now, you could feel his breath against your face. It was minty and fresh.

“Fucking hell y/n.” He groaned, grabbing your hips and gently pushing you to sit on the edge of the bed. He dropped to his knees in front of you, head bowed. He looked as if he was saying a prayer, his head bowed in your lap. His wings were draped across the floor, and he was muttering something to himself. He held your knees, and when he looked back up to you his eyes were teary.

“Azriel-“ you started, only for him to cut you off.

“What am I doing wrong? Have I not made it painfully clear? I would tie my wings behind my back and jump off this roof if you asked me too. I would do anything,” He sniffled, “anything for you. But you don’t even realize. What am I doing wrong?” You saw tears beginning to form in his eyes. Confusion filled every ounce of your soul. What did he mean?

“I would jump off for you too-“

“No! You don’t get it!” He rose, cupping your face with his hands. A pleading look was in his eyes. “Look at me! Don’t you feel it? Don’t you feel it here?” His hand came to lay where your heart would be. Your felt it beating crazily. What did he mean?

Azriel closed his eyes, sending a silent prayer to the mother. He opened them again.

“Just notice it y/n. Notice it- Notice me. Please..” he whispered. You wanted to scream you loved him suddenly, but he probably doesn’t mean this like that. This is probably some dumb prank he and his brothers came up with again.

His forehead rested against yours now, and you gasped as you felt something tugging on your heart. Like gold threads weaving together. It felt as if someone had tied Azriel to you. Shadows whirled crazily around you both now. Your hand came to rest over his trying to decipher this feeling in your heart. His eyes peered into yours. And he closed them as he moved his head and pressed a small kiss to your forehead.

“I love you, even if you don’t return it.” He croaked, defeatedly. His eyes opened and watched you. He watched as your eyebrows furrowed and you looked at your chest and then back to him.

He let out a grunt of surprise when you smashed your lips against his. Azriel wondered if this was real. Staying still, as if not to scare you away. When he realized it was real- and you were kissing him he melted. He kissed you back gently and meaningful. It was everything you had ever wanted you realized. Why hadn’t you noticed sooner? You could’ve been kissing this muscly man a lot sooner. Only did you detach yourself when you needed air. Both of your foreheads touched, and you both panted for air.

“Mate.” You whispered to him. He smiled, thanking the mother you had finally felt the bond. He nodded in response.

“Mate.” He replied. He nudged you back against the sheets, gently letting your body plop on the bed.

“But I have loved you long before I found out we were mates.” He muttered, his wings flaring slightly. He climbed on top of you, straddling your hips.

You nodded. “I loved you too- but I just thought that, I wasn’t the girl you’d ever wanna be with.”

“I’ve fucking craved you ever since I met you. And that won’t stop, ever. I swear, you’re the most oblivious girl I’ve ever met.” He said. His eyes weren’t wet anymore. It calmed you, seeing him calmer. The shadows were slowly and lazily playing with your hair again. You peered into Azriel’s eyes and thought back to every single memory you and him had, and realized it was all love. You were too oblivious to realize it. He slowly leaned down and brushed his lips against yours, wings covering you both. You kissed him back with a fever you couldn’t stop anymore.

After a few minutes, he crawled off of you and stood. You rose, propping yourself up. He handed you the pink box.

“I stopped by your favorite bakery and got you a cupcake.” Azriel spoke. The cupcake inside was big- almost two times bigger then your hand. And it was your favorite flavor. Your eyes softened at the kindness. You looked back up to him as you lifted the cupcake towards him.

“Eat Azriel.” You whispered. His eyes darkened upon realizing you wanted to solidify the mating bond- and confirm it. He shivered but stopped himself.

“You sure you don’t want a mating ceremony-“

“Eat the fucking cupcake Azriel.”

Tag list:

@going-through-shit @amara-moonlight

@tele86 @saltedcoffeescotch @minnieoo

@fxckmiup @charlotteintumbleland

@amygdtjhddzvb

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lighteyed · 11 months

Text

you and i (back at it again) / steve harrington

summary: steve's left standing alone after starcourt, until you show up for him.

word count: 2.2k

author's note: inspired by this tik tok because i nearly shed a tear also this is my first time posting in awhile be nice pls

He watches his friends reunite with their families, mournful. He stands alone and contemplative by a cop car, the various spots of bruising and swelling on his face beginning to pulse with pain the more his adrenaline began to fade out of his bloodstream. The cops at the station said they'd called his parents house, his house, but no one had picked up. He knew they were home. He kicks a rock near his his foot, shoving his hands in the pockets of the bloody uniform he was still wearing. He wants a shower. He wants to go to bed. He wants to go to bed with the serenity of someone who knew they were loved. He wouldn't be able to do that if he went home. The word home a loose term.

"We can take you home if you need a ride, son," one of the cops says to him. Steve kicks at another rock. Home.

"That's alright," Steve says dismissively, ignoring the tight twist in his chest. "Someone will have gotten in touch with my parents by now. I'm sure they're on their way." The cop looks doubtful. Steve hates that he looks doubtful. Steve hates that he's also doubtful. "Couple more minutes," he swears. He knows he might as well walk his ass home, though.

He leans against the hood of the car, rubbing at his jaw. His hand comes away bloody. He's about to accept the cop's offer for a ride, maybe, he figures, he'll just go to Robin's and sit there for as long as her parents will have him, when a car comes careening into the lot like there's not fifty officers of the law standing around, the tires screeching loudly across the gravel. It's barely at a stop, practically still moving, when you throw the door open and throw your body out of it.

"Steve Harrington, what the fuck?" You leave your car door open, leave it in the middle of the road, still running, to get to him in time. He gazes at you, and it's a stupid look in all honesty, mouth agape, his brown eyes big and tragic looking, his face torn up and swollen. He wasn't expecting you. Why would he have been? You'd been broken up for a few months now and he was still nursing his wounds from it, knowing it was supposed to be for the best; you felt like he was hiding things from you and he knew that he was, hiding all the stuff about the Upside Down, not wanting you involved, wanting you safe. And in a way he was glad for it. He'd gotten through this with you unscathed, and who knows what would have happened if you guys had still been together. When he looks at you, though, when he allows himself to be pulled in closer, your hand coming up to graze his cheek, examining every scrape on his face with softness and worry, he allows himself to want. To miss you.

You tilt his face back, scrutinizing his features. He keeps his eyes on you. You showed up for him. No one else but you. You were here. "The fire is all over the fucking news and I didn't know if you were working tonight so I was sitting by the phone waiting to hear from someone and then your friend Robin called and said you were waiting here for someone to come get you so I just came in case and- and what happened to your face? And where are your parents?"

He shakes himself out of his stupor. "They didn't answer the phone." But you did. You answered and you were here. A wave of pure love rushes through him. He knew a thing or two about being alone, had felt that way for as long as he could remember, no matter how many people he surrounded himself with or how many parties he threw, but you were here, and he wasn't alone. Steve wraps his arms around you in one sudden movement, an outpouring of affection he hadn't realized he'd been reserving for you. Always you.

You stand there for a moment, processing, before you respond, leaning into his touch. The sirens wail around you. Neither of you move. He's safe. You breathe relief into the embrace, holding him tighter to you. He's hardly talking, and usually he's the one talking the absolute most, but he's stunned, both with what's just happened, what he's borne witness to, and with the way you care about him despite everything, more than anyone he's ever met, and the way he cares about you and how could he ever, ever let himself let you go? How could that ever happen? It's all he thinks about as he holds you, feeling safer than he's felt in awhile, the smell of your hair and your skin filling his brain with serotonin.

"Am I taking you home?" You pull away, staring up at him, his ruined face that is still so painfully gorgeous, still so hard to look at. Your hand is remains poised on his cheek. It's warm and welcome.

"No, no, your house, please," he brings his hand up to meet yours.

"I got you, c'mon, honey." He turns and thanks the officers who'd been waiting with him before letting you lead him to your car. He keeps his hand on yours. It tethers him to reality. He's here and he's okay. Or he will be, soon. He's here and he's safe, at the very least. He's not trapped and being tortured. No one's going to hurt him. He's got your soft hand in his and he's okay for right now.

The drive to your house is silent, but it's not awkward. You try to keep your eyes on the road as much as you can but you can't help that they keep finding themselves back on Steve. You've never seen him so reserved. You're sure it was more than a fire that happened back there, and you're sure he won't tell you a thing about it. You drive one-handed the whole way home. You let him need you.

At your house, you get your bathroom set up for him to shower, placing fresh towels on the rack for him, laying out your products on the counter. He would've been able to find them regardless, but you busy yourself with it anyway. When you go into your bedroom to tell him the bathroom is ready, his shoes are off and put into the corner he used to always put them in, and he looks exhausted. "I didn't bring clothes to change," is the first thing he says.

"That's what you're most concerned about?" You give him a funny look. You open your closet and rummage around on the ground for a second before tossing him a pair of his old sweatpants and a t-shirt. He stares at them in his hands. "I didn't know if I should give them back. So I just... didn't." He smiles a little. The first you've seen all night.

"Thanks," he waves them in the air before retreating down the hall. The door shuts and the shower squeaks on.

The way you loved Steve was unconditional, as much as you wish it wasn't sometimes. Even when he was pushing you away, even when he kept things from you, you'd always be there for him. He didn't have anyone in his corner like that. And you wanted to be. It wasn't something you felt obligated to do. You cared about him, and so you went to him. He'd do the same if the roles were reversed. It was unconditional because even when being there for him hurt, you still stayed. You still loved.

When he comes back into your room, his hair dripping but clean, God, he feels clean, his face devoid of dried blood but bruised and wounded, you're waiting for him with a first aid kit and a fresh ice pack. You must've heard the water shut off and gotten everything ready for him. The old sweatpants and t-shirt smell more like you now than they do like him but he's not complaining in the slightest. Something about you keeping them instead of throwing them away or lighting them on fire makes him think maybe there's hope. Not that you had a bad break up to begin with, it was more sad than angry, nothing that warranted a clothes burning, but still. Still, still, still.

He sits down where you indicate, rubbing his towel across his head to soak up the sopping water. His face is flushed from the hot water. You sidle up next to him with the medicine and bandages and try not to get too caught up in him. He places the ice pack on his puffy, blackened eye. He doesn't get it, this gentleness. He doesn't think he deserves it, really. After everything, does he deserve it? Does he get this peace?

"You're fidgeting," you mutter, narrowly missing the spot you were aiming for.

"Oh, sorry," he lifts his chin up a bit more and tries to sit still. You're so patient and kind and it makes him ache a little. You take care of him and it's not for any reason other than you caring about him. He's not used to anyone caring about him. "Are you sure this is alright? You don't wanna... be alone?"

"No, I wanna make sure you're okay," you answer easily, as easy as breathing, swiping medicine across his wounds with the lightest touch you can manage. He hisses in pain, and you wince, feeling it, too.

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"I want to, Steve, I promise." You pat his cheek, another gentle, affectionate maneuver from you. If he's okay, you're okay. He takes this in. He thinks he really feels his heart expanding.

As you start dabbing at his other wounds, you speak, finally. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can," he replies, blinking up at you with his good eye.

"Was this..." you hesitate. He probably won't answer. "I don't doubt there was a fire but this..." you gesture to his face. "This looks a hell of a lot worse than just escaping a fire, Steve, you look seriously fucked up."

"What, you don't think I look pretty anymore?" He smiles again and you roll your eyes at him, but you smile back all the same.

"You're very pretty, Steve, but you have a black eye and there was blood all over your face and you're all cut up." He swoons just a little when you call him pretty. He's got an ego, what can he say? He continues smiling at you, a little high off painkillers, a little high off being here with you. If he's gotta be tortured he may as well get you back out of it.

"You look pretty, too, y'know," he says softly, his free hand twisting a strand of your hair around.

"Dodging the question I see," you raise your eyebrows at him but say nothing else. It was to be expected.

He takes a deep breath, looking up toward the ceiling, thinking maybe all this time he's just been stupid and silly for not telling you sooner, maybe he could've been with you all this time if he'd just told you, maybe it wouldn't have been the end of the world to have you involved. Maybe it would all be fine. "I wanted to keep you safe from all of it. See what happened to me? It could've been you, if you had been there."

"I would've wanted to be there with you," you insist. "You know I would."

"I do," he nods. "And that's why I don't involve you, babe, if something happens to me it doesn't matter to anyone but if something happens to you-"

"Why would you say that to me? You think I wouldn't care if you died?" You take his face in your hands, and he drops his ice pack. "Steve, are you an idiot? It would matter to those kids you spend all your time with if you died. It would matter to Robin, and to your family even if they take you for granted, and it would matter to me. I love you so much you moron, you can't say it wouldn't matter. I wouldn't be here if it didn't matter. I go out of my mind worrying about you, don't tell me you don't matter."

His head spins, in the best possible way. The pain from his wounds doesn't register. Your hands on his face registers. You words register. Everything else is background noise. "You still love me?"

Oh. Your face warms. It's not like it had been that long since you'd called it off, it should've have been a surprise to him, but hearing you say those words makes him light up. You see him light up. "Yeah, of course I do, it doesn't go away just 'cause you won't tell me anything about your life," you grumble, taking your hands off him.

"Hey," he whispers, grabbing for you before you can tear yourself away from him. He brushes the hair back from your face. He has that look in his eyes that make people fall to their knees. Heavy-lidded and tender. Soft. Loving. "I love you, okay? I do. That's why I try to protect you. I'll tell you anything you want." He knows it now, for real, that he can't lose you again. Not this time. "C'mere, come back." You let him pull you in. "I'll tell you anything, please don't leave me, okay?" You shake your head at him. Never, never. He's pleading, desperate. When he moves to kiss you, the desperation is laced in it, he's lurching forward and he's hungry and yearning and your lips meet soft and fast because he wants to savor it after so long.

The disconnect of your lips sends him reeling, he wants to dive back in for more, for more of everything, but you stop him. "It's me and you, okay, always. But you gotta let me all the way in this time." You tap his heart lightly. "All the way, Steve. Everything."

He leans back. He is hesitant and bruised and bloody, a little bit broken, but mostly he's in love. Mostly he wants to give you the world. So he takes your hands in his. He tethers himself to reality. And he talks.

#trying to convince myself posting is FOR FUN i don't have to want to VOM from nerves every time i go to post...#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things #stranger things x reader

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