#just regular fucking crazy i guess ell oh ell

[thirstyforred]

ok so, it's not like a fully fleshed idea, there's no ending, and the amount of words i would like to put into it is just too much atm, bc like at least over 10k sounds sweet, but anyway here's an idea for one of the squares in my witcher bingo - mind-reading spell/curse

it's the role swap au - i could just do "that's so sad, Hubert play Gwent/tavern music", but i think there's actually something to this idea that could be interesting with how some parts of the canon are being twisted and fit back together

Alvin is a vampire, lets just go with katakan, because why not

i might lean a bit into Book of Beautiful Horrors fanon (which i just realized inspired my other post about higher vamps, but for some reason, i completely forgot about it, until last week when i was looking again for this book) and say that katakans are great hunters, capable of tracking they prey just by the smell, but also having more special connection to the blood. like drinking of certain beings gives them certain effects - like how Gael even canonically drinks from drunk folks so he can actually get completely sloshed

but also if i combine it with how Erland never specified what actually are vampires eating since blood makes them just tipsy and isn't the main source of nutrients, let's say that vampires are lowkey like dragons - that they are actually consuming magic. so they would live nearby sources of power or like power nexuses, or like the Unseen Elder in B&W not far from the place where Ard Gaeth opened, which likely would still be pretty charged

which leads me to another point, if they're consuming magic, then possibly can they also use magic - and there are the different way this could be spun, for example, if let's say alp drinks bruxa's blood, then they can talk with birds for few nights, or like combine their own powers with the one they get from blood, and like give birds ability to dream, and then invade those dreams and shape them, like idk there could be some fun combinations here

so considering all of this stuff - Alvin is a katakan who drinks from sorcerers and that makes him so op

and he's at a point where it's not just about feeding himself in the most pleasurable way, by eating beings charged with magic, or just about blood addiction, no, it's about power

and because it's me writing about Alvin, whether i make a big point out of it or not, there's always a shadow behind him of that goth mfs red riders who influenced the way he understands the world - Nam and Nithral - so without deep explanations lets just say, that Alvin is a relatively young vampire, who was basically raised up by Aen Elle Wild Hunt deserter Namrevlis, like seriously who cares, it was always crack and canon bending bs

but the thing is, Nam and her blood smell and taste pretty uniquely like it's not a tone, but still, there's that drop of Hen Ichaer, of Lara's Gene in Red Riders, and i will take this fanon with me to the grave, and that, that taste of the Spiral is what Alvin is really looking for

which he ofc can't find because regular mages while still powerful, their blood making him almost a mage himself, is just nothing in comparison

and there's Hubert - he's a surgeon in Novigrad, just regular boring human, let's fuck with the timeline say in his 20s, but he's also the Source. He's the carrier of Lara's Gene. He doesn't want this sort of legacy, wears tones of dimeritium amulets and whatnot to tame his wild, never trained magic talents, but still, he's plagued by horrifying dreams of the White Frost

i guess would make sense if that sort of thing was more manageable when he was a kid and teen, but got worse with time, and also there are Witch Hunters all over Novigrad, so Hubert has to find some way or maybe mentor, do something about it

so he asks some people he trusts about ideas, like Gael and Queen of the Night, and finally, Queen is like yeah i know of someone, they help hiding mages in Wizima, but also they're very dangerous, and Hubert is like who is it? i need to know! and she's like it's the leader of Salamandra

yes im keeping Alvin being a drug lord, i find it the funniest part of his whole fucking deal

but anyway Hubert travels to Wizima and somehow get's introduced to Alvin, and he just gets a whiff of Hubert and he starts salivating

but Alvin is not an idiot, he knows if he will eat a guy in one sitting it won't sate him for long, and help him really peer through that veil between the world or whatever - he's a fantasy medieval business major, he's gonna put a nice collar on that neck

(i still remember it was supposed to be about mindreading, the idea was just more cohesive and compressed in my mind lol)

but Hubert explains his whole deal and problem, and Alvin is like oh ok cool, then we can have here like a mutual agreement - because he was somewhat educated on the Spiral by Nam, he gets and understands the things Hubert is seeing in his visions, he just can't hold them for too long - while for Hubert everything is just chaotic and a bit scary, and makes him feel lost

but thankfully all higher vamps (but true ones lol) have telepathic abilities, which means that Alvin can just look into Hubert's mind, amplify it by drinking his blood, if they meditated together, created like a mental bond between their minds, they could literally unravel the Spiral together

like all the crazy stuff i have ever written about the Spiral but more

oh and there's like some gay stuff happening ofc

#alvin x hubert #would be kinda fun if alvin was real mama boy constantly talking about nam #and then hubert finally meets her and he's just ????? #how is this 2 meter tall elf your mom????? #*over 2 meter tall #not to be rude in the salamandra sewers but wtf

[fortunefavorsthebrave-dude]

no idea what is going on with me physically slash hormonally but i wish it would cut it the fuck out. i’m both extremely angry and extremely depressed, my appetite has vanished, and i’m in a constant state of needing to focus and do something while also being unable to focus or move or start anything. like the concept of purchasing and playing animal crossing has been utterly daunting the past few days and it’s fucking viddy game. what. is happening.

#sky speaks #fortheloveofgodpleasehelpme.jpg #i don't think it's anything pandemic related #esp bc i'm still working so i'm not like going stir crazy #just regular fucking crazy i guess ell oh ell #it's like i want to lay down and stare at the wall for hours again #but i also want to be very mean for no reason first and then segue into the wall thing #like please be normal

[eldritchsurveys]

1033.

Have you ever felt a baby kick? >> I don’t think so. I mean, maybe? It’s possible? Maybe when Vlad was pregnant? But I don’t remember, so. What color pants/shorts are you wearing? >> Charcoal. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? >> Well, I played a couple of hours of FFXIV earlier? I also watched another episode of Blackish while eating dinner, and that show is a lot of fun for me. What was the scariest moment of your life? >> Oh, who knows. I was probably not fully aware of my emotions at the time anyway, so does it really count as scary if I can’t fully feel my own fear?

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? >> Certainly.

Pancakes or flapjacks? >> I don’t know anything about flapjacks, but I’m not crazy about pancakes. What kind of computer are you on? >> A Lenovo IdeaPad. Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what’s your favorite dish? >> Sure, preferably of the less Americanised variety. I don’t have a favourite dish, though. What are you usually doing at midnight? >> Sleeping. If I’m not sleeping, I’m doing a crossword or reading. Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? >> --- If so, how did it turn out? >> --- Give me your brief definition of love. >> I don’t have a brief definition of love. What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? >> --- What kind of shoes do you wear? >> Either sneakers or Docs-type boots. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done when you were really angry? >> I mean, physically hurt someone, what else. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? >> Yeah, I take CBD in the morning and I take the good old Period-B-Gon at night. Do you like the smell of coconuts? >> I do, but only in small doses. It gets overwhelming pretty quickly. What is the heaviest you think you can lift? >> I don’t know. Do you take Tums? >> No, I don’t need them. Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? >> I’ve been on the Piers on the Hudson River, but I don’t think I’ve been on any legitimate beach piers. How about under one? >> No. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? >> --- Do you feel that way around anyone now? >> ---

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? >> I usually read on the toilet. Do you ever sing to yourself? >> In general, absolutely. Not on the toilet, though. Couldn’t tell if this was a continuation of the last question or not... What is a sound that relaxes you? >> Babbling-brook type sounds. Forest sounds. Can Calah’s voice. Bruni’s voice. How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? >> Can’t imagine what it’d be like to have one main goal in life. Like... that’s wild. Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? >> Yes, lol. Ahh, what a throwback. What is your main heritage? >> Hm. What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? >> I like regular sandwich pickles. I also like bread and butter, which makes me a heathen in Sparrow’s eyes even though we unite over our liking of pickles otherwise. What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? >> On sandwiches, pepper jack. With crackers, some kind of brie or Kerrygold swiss, but I’ll take pepper jack or cheddar in a pinch (and usually cheddar if there’s also apple slices involved). In salads, feta. And so on. If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? >> I don’t want a sea creature as a pet. How about a farm animal? >> Or a farm animal. So, do you have hoes in different area codes? >> Back to this again, eh? What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? >> --- What is a song that you hate to admit you like? >> I feel like it’s insulting to myself to hate admitting that I like something. Getting enjoyment out of something is something to be appreciated, for me... What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? >> Inspiration is not what gets me to do things. Executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, and random triggers all piss on “inspiration”. I get up and do things when I fucking can. Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? >> I really don’t ever have to. Even slang that’s new to me I can figure out by context clues... Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? >> They’re definitely... special. What comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘transformation’? >> I have no immediate associations with that word.

What was something you regularly played with as a child? >> Paper dolls.

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? >> Sure. If so, what did you do? >> I mean, I don’t have specific examples right now because my memory sucks. But I cannot confidently say that I’ve gotten this far without ever giving into something my peer group wanted me to do. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? >> My brain.

Do a lot of people check you out when you’re in public? >> I don’t know, I assume not, but even the suggestion that that’s possible makes me want to claw my skin off, so good job. What is a good name for a turtle? >> A name that matched its disposition and what type of turtle it was. Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? >> No. Do you like having your ear nibbled on? >> Nooooo. What makes a good kisser a good kisser? >> I think it’s about whether the partner likes whatever it is they’re doing. Some people kiss in ways that would disgust the fuck out of me, but would be immensely pleasing to someone else. I guess the best kind of kisser would be the one who found out (either by asking outright or by trial-and-error/being guided) what kind of kissing their partner liked (and when!) and adapted to that. How many times a year do you have a family thing? >> --- What are the best things to put in a smoothie? >> I have no idea. Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? >> Sometimes. What do you dislike most about where you live right now? >> Oh, you want a list? Because I’ll make a list-- well, okay, mostly I just don’t like urban noise. I’ve grown really intolerant and skittish of the noises people make as they exist around me (this includes environmental noise like vehicles, airplanes, lawncare machinery, etc, as well). Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? >> No. I’ve given roses a couple of times.

Are you watching your weight? >> I’m trying to not hyperfocus on my weight, actually. Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? >> I guess that’s what happened with Elle. “Really good” throws me off because I don’t know how good of friends we are...? I assume we’re just regular friends! I don’t know! Next! What makes your best friend your best friend? >> --- Do you have a drunk uncle? >> --- Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? >> No. What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? >> --- What is the girliest thing you do, if you’re a girl? >> ---

What is the coolest tattoo you’ve ever seen? >> I don’t know, man, I’ve seen a lot of cool tattoos over time. In fact, just the concept of tattoos in general is cool. Have you ever created anything artistic that you’re proud of? If so, what? >> I mean, I’ve written some pretty sweet fanfic. Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? >> I don’t eat Oreos.

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? >> Maybe. If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? >> I mean, having a huge ego doesn’t automatically disqualify you from having anything likeable about you from my perspective... Have you ever used a racial slur, even jokingly? >> Yep. Considering a certain obvious racial slur is now a slang term... Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? >> ---

If so, what about them do you like most? >> --- What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? >> On the rare occasion that I do, I like onions and sauerkraut and mustard. What is everyone else in your house doing right now? >> Sparrow is in her room, I assume watching more of the Amnesia Rebirth playthrough on YouTube. What is the most money you’ve ever had at one time? >> $10k. Retroactive payment from Social Security. (Yeah, that’s how long they denied me before I got approved. Long enough that they owed me a total of fourteen grand.) How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? >> I wouldn’t run a mile, so that’s that on that. Look down. What do you see? >> The dark void that is my clothing in this dim lighting. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? >> Can’t think of anything right now. Not that such subjects don’t exist, just that they’re not coming to mind. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? >> FFXIV. What kind of mood were you in most of today? >> A hyperaroused one. Had a lot of emotions and then had to deal with the backlash to having too many emotions before noon. Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? >> No. Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. >> I can’t ever remember these at random. What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? >> Let’s not. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone emotionally? >> Let’s not. How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? >> Nothing. He’s been dead for over a decade, any feelings about him exist only in emotional flashbacks. How about the last person (your last ex)? >> A little hurt still but mostly just pissed and disgusted. Most of the hurt I still feel now is grief towards myself and what I lost to someone else’s carelessness and self-obsession. What is the best invention ever invented? >> *shrug*

What is something that needs to be invented? >> *shrug* What always makes you burp? >> Carbonation. Well, not always, I guess? But often. What are you doing tomorrow? >> I’m not sure yet. I’ll know when it gets here.

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare*

[skippyin]

school story plz

WELL ALRIGHT THEN BUCKLE UP KIDDOS BECAUSE WE’RE GOING BACK TO SKIPPY’S SCHOOL DAYS. Now I’m not gonna drop any names but holy shit my early elementary school years were a trash fire. 

I have Aspburgers (I’m high-functioning though so it’s hard to tell), my brother has ADHD, my Mom has Dyslexia, and my Dad also has Aspburgers same as me. Both my parents went through hell when they were children, the school systems were brutal back then. They didn’t want to same for their children, so they got my brother and I 504′s and put us into Catholic Schools because we are Catholic and they wanted us to have that kind of education. The first school we chose, however, would be a den of nightmares. I’ll just use the initials: SH when referring to the school. The following is my account of what I went through in that school.

1st Grade: A good start! The teacher started out kinda mean but then shaped up. Treated me nicer when she realized I needed extra help and gave me that extra help. More or less went smoothly.

2nd Grade: Shit starts to get fucky. This teacher: Mrs. B(itch) was very stuck up. She was one of the members of Principle S(kanky Panky)’s little friend group. She greatly disliked me and my friend, Katie, not only because we both had learning disabilities, but also because we were both artists. The class was required to cover our textbooks to protect them from damage, but instead of using the stretchy cloth textbook covers like everybody else; Katie and I would use blank brown wrapping paper so we could draw on the covers, add stickers, etc. It was fun for us to personalize our textbooks, but Mrs. B HATED that we liked to draw because she thought it was a waste of our time and hers. It wasn’t easy, but I managed to troop through.

3rd Grade: Nice teacher. She liked me, and I had no problem with her. Though she would yell at the class often because a lot of the kids in the class were very misbehaved. This year went by without incident.

4th Grade: Another good year! (Unfortunately, my last at this school.) This teacher was my favorite and she was more than willing to give me a hand. The worst of my problems that year was the other kids in my class who liked to pick on me, but I was able to get through.

5th Grade: The beginning of The End. The gateway to True Hell. Which is ironic considering my teacher this year was a nun. Sister H(ell) was very old and therefore very old fashioned. She liked to play favorites, and usually preferred the boys over the girls for some reason, despite the fact that a good 75% of the boys in my class were assholes (don’t get me wrong though, a percentage of the girls in my class were bitches too). She gave me a hard time for my lacking math skills. Funny thing is, she had no idea how to teach the mathematical course material and told the parents on parent-teacher night that she was basically just winging it. She didn’t like me, or anything I did. It became a habit of mine to hum the Darth Vader Theme quietly to myself whenever I saw her walking by.

It was at this point my mother started complaining to Principle S that my education was starting to get hindered. At the same time, my brother was in 2nd grade and had gotten saddled with a different 2nd-grade teacher than me. This woman was ALSO in the principle’s friend group and was an even bigger problem then Mrs. B. She was just out and out mean to my brother and it was starting to become a problem. My mom filed these complaints and brought up our legal documentation. Principle S acknowledged that they were doing everything the documents told them what they had to do, but that she would have a personal word with our teachers to try to solve the problem.

A month passed. Nothing Changed.

Shit was still fucky, the Principle kept smiling and lying to her face, and my Mom decided that it was time to infiltrate. It was one of those kinds of situations where when peoples’ backs were turned, the staff was horrible. But when parents came over or people visiting from the school board: they were all suddenly super nice and acting on their best behavior. My Mom got a job at the school as the kindergarten teacher’s assistant in order to keep an eye on my brother and I and make sure we were being treated properly. The Principle and her friend group knew this was what she was doing and tried to keep her out of the loop as much as possible. Though her presence was very comforting to me, knowing she was so close by in this den of wolves.

(Side Story: Principle S is FUCKING Nuts.

While my Mom was working at the school she got into a friendly conversation with the Principle one day during lunch in the teacher’s lounge. She proceeded to tell my Mom a story of how she and her husband went to go visit her mother. Upon arriving at the elderly woman’s house, they found her on the floor and not moving. Now, any rational person would immediately call 911, right? Principle S didn’t. No, instead, her and her husband starting going around the presumably dead woman’s house and putting sticky notes with their names on all the fancy stuff they wanted. Turns out she wasn’t dead, just passed out. Upon realizing this, then they called 911. She laughed at it like it was a funny little story but my Mom just looked at her like she was crazy. And she was. There were many other stories like this, but that is the only one I know about.)

Nevertheless, the kindergarten classrooms were very out of the way from the rest of the school, so even though my Mom was present, they still pulled a lot of BS. When my 5th-grade year was finally over I was relieved, but boy oh boy was I jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire when I started--

6th Fucking Grade: What would be my last year at SH school. This year was my personal hell. THIS YEAR was when shit hit the fan. Ms. F(ucking Desperate For A Boyfriend) was the final member of the Principle’s friend group and was by far the worst in my opinion. Dear gosh this woman... Who let this woman near children... Where to begin, where to begin...

I guess I should start by saying she hated me. Just plain and simple. She hated me and anybody I associated with. She thought I was a Bad Kid. She thought I was a demon in disguise or some shit. That I was lying when I told my Mom about my hard time in school. How dare I get my Mom to “harras” her good friend Principle S with my disability papers. I’m just a lazy kid who doesn’t want to do any work so I’m giving myself an advantage over the other students who don’t have extra time on tests, or special seating, or get copies of notes from students who are doing good in school. How dare I get extra help that “I don’t need”. It was “unfair”.

So she proceeded to make every day of my 6th-grade life an uphill battle. And let me tell you it was a battle an emotionally and mentally draining one.

Here is a list of incidents I remember:

One day when I was absent, she made my two best friends sit out in the hallway and told them they couldn’t come back inside until they wrote a list of all the bad things I had done. They couldn’t do this, of course, because I had done nothing wrong, and were forced to stay out there until lunch time.

Complained every time I came to get my photocopied notes from her (only teachers had access to the copy machines). Would tell me every day that I didn’t deserve notes taken by a better student.

Never helped me whenever I would get bullied by other students.

Whenever I gave a wrong answer in class, would make it out as if it was the dumbest thing she had ever heard.

Kicked me out of my group who I was teamed up with on an important History Project. Said I was kicked out because I wasn’t “doing the work” and therefore my punishment was to do the whole thing by myself. I was absent for two days because I was sick with a fever, and I had told one of my teammates over the phone that I had my part of the work ready and I’d give it to them when I came back. Nope, doesn’t matter, what Ms. F says goes. I got saddled with four people’s weight in project work, along with my regular homework. My Parents helped me out a great deal because it was complete bullshit.

Went off on me when she found out I had started a trend among my classmates. Of drawing pictures of bad/dumb/silly things happening to her on sticky notes and trading them like trading cards. We all hated her.

Things really got set in motion during a private before-school meeting between Ms. F and my parents. Ms. F, my Dad, and my Mom, all sat down in our classroom and started to discuss what the fuck was going on. I was constantly asking my parents to keep me home from school, my grades were slipping, I was constantly stressed, and was showing the bad habit of plucking out my eyelashes. They wanted to know what was going on and they wanted it to be fixed. Ms. F proceeded to tell them the following:

A) I wasn’t disabled, I was only faking it because I am a lazy horrible brat who doesn’t want to do work and only wants extra help to give me an advantage.

B) If I really am disabled then I should be sent to a mental hospital/children’s special needs school for the severely disabled. I don’t belong in their school, I had no place in her classroom. I had to go where all the other “crazy children” were sent.

C) I am a manipulator and a liar playing everyone for fools, but NOT HER. No sir she doesn’t fall for my tricks.

Now.

My Dad is a slow to anger man. He is usually pretty laid back, and fun loving, and cool. But when he gets mad, watch out. Meanwhile, my Mom kind of is the opposite. She is a very passionate woman who likes to yell a lot whenever she feels there is some sort of injustice. Small but Loud. Like Anger from Inside Out. I’ve seen her mad, but when she’s Angry her rage burns brighter than the light of 1000 suns. The only thing keeping the two of them from beating the ever-loving crap out of Ms. F right then and there was the knowledge that they’d probably get pressed on Assault charges.

No, instead, they advanced on her. Forced her to back up against the wall. My dad, tall and looming behind my mom fixing this woman with a death glare. My mom pointing a finger at her face and said “I swear to God in heaven above if I ever catch you off school property... I don’t care if we’re in the grocery store, I don’t care if we’re in church, I don’t care if it’s years and years from now and I’m an old woman. I will punch you dead in the face for talking about my daughter that way and putting her through this. That is a promise, you Bitch. So you better be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life and praying and you don’t see me there.”

It was at this time school was starting, so my class came in to see my parents staring down our teacher. I was oblivious to the tense air in the room and just waved at them saying “Hi Mom and Dad!! :D” 

Meeting over.

My Mom is the kind of person who keeps her promises. She once knocked out a guy with a single punch. And another time my Mom broke some chick’s jaw when she tried to mug my Aunt. She knows how to throw a good punch.

But unfortunately, Ms. F was undeterred by my parents legal and physical threats. And only made things harder.

The final straw happened when we were 3/4ths through the year. The home stretch. I wanted to try my hand at writing poetry. We had some free time, so I got out a sheet of paper and got to work. Not too long after, the group of boys who liked to pick on me came over and tried to read it. I knew it would only give them cannon fodder to use against me so I tried to keep it away from them. They were persistent so I decided to try to use my pen to fend them off. One of the nice boys, Anthony, came over to try to break up the commotion. I accidentally wound up getting pen ink on his uniform shirt. I apologized, knowing he had only been trying to help and he told me not to sweat it and that his mom would just wash the shirt. The situation is over, right? Wrong.

Not ten minutes later, Ms. F slams her hands on her desk and screams my name. I snap to attention because “Oh no what’s happening?” She starts yelling at me because I got ink on Anthony’s shirt. How dare I do something so atrocious. Now Anthony’s poor mother has to slave away at the washing machine tonight to try to clean the ink off of his expensive uniform shirt. It doesn’t matter that I already apologized, it doesn’t matter that Anthony forgave me, I should feel bad about doing this horrible thing. She basically proceeded to humiliate me in front of the entire class and I was mortified.

I went, hid in the girl’s bathroom, and cried like Hermione Granger did in Sorcerer's Stone. After I calmed down, I refused to head back to class, too afraid getting yelled at again. Usually, if a student spends too long in the bathroom, another student is sent to go check on them to make sure they’re okay and bring them back to class. I decided to wait for someone to come for me. So I sat, and I waited. And waited. And waited. Nobody came to get me. My Mom wasn’t notified of the incident either, so she was waiting for me outside. It wasn’t until hours later when one of my friends came up to her after clubs were over and told her what happened that she found out. That I’ve been in the bathroom all day, and Ms. F didn’t want anybody to go get me. My Mom rushed into the school, ran into the bathroom, and embraced me. She was so worried because I was a child, left alone, unsupervised. This is how kids get kidnapped and go missing. This is how kids’ faces get plastered on missing posters and billboards. I was left alone in that bathroom with nothing but my own self-loathing all day, anything could have happened to me. We marched out of the bathroom, down to the Principle’s office, and my Mom called Principle S a sick pig bitch, threatening to sue her for every penny she had.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. My Mom was outraged by the school and its horrible treatment of myself, my brother, and any other disabled child that happened to come up to their doorstep. She was sick and disgusted and DONE. I remember vividly when we got back in the car, the first thing she did was call my Aunt on her cell phone and said: “I want a lawyer.” Unfortunately, we never did take them to court on this, I can’t remember the reason why. We’ve always been pretty financially tight, so I think it’s the fact that we just couldn’t afford a lawyer to do an all out lawsuit. 

My Mom pulled me and my brother out of that school and sent us to a different Catholic School. This one was so much better, so much nicer, all the teachers loved us, the principal he was so great and nice, we made friends with tons of different kids. It was the exact opposite of what we went through in that hell hole.

And you know what? I’m not mad. I’m not bitter. And I still feel like I’ve won even though we didn’t get any sort of “revenge” on these people. Me living my life, being happy, and being with my loved ones is revenge enough. In the end, they don’t matter to me. But at the same time, they did wind up teaching me something. They showed me the kind of person I didn’t want to be. They were bitter, revenge seeking, condescending, lazy, and prideful. They got enjoyment out of making me and anybody they deemed “unfit” miserable. I don’t want to be like them. I could have used their real names, I could put their addresses and phone numbers out there for everybody to see, with a call to action to “teach them a lesson” in order to form a justice-seeking mob mentality amongst anybody who reads this story. But I’m not. Because I don’t want to be seen as a victim. What I experienced was horrible, yes, but I don’t feel the need to cry out for justice. Because I’m satisfied with living my life and winning against them by leaving them behind, by not letting what they did to me haunt me every day of my life. And you know what? I’m fine.

I got two little sisters who I love very much.

I met some of my very best friends still to this day in high school.

I got my Associate's degree with honors.

I’m currently studying for my Bachelor's and eventually will get a job doing something I love.

I play games with my friends.

I do what I love every day.

I spend every day with my family who loves and supports me and encourages me.

I have so many blessings, I’m not going to let those years ruin my life when my life so good.

I guess the thing to take away from my story is, don’t dwell on things. You don’t have to nessicarily forgive them for what they did, but which sounds better to you: Dwelling on memories that make you feel like shit for the rest of your life or surrounding yourself with the people you love and making new better happier memories? I rolled with the punches that were thrown at me and came out stronger for it.

So while they sit there, stewing in their own bitterness, in a teaching job they hate but only took because they want the summers off. I’m off in the world, experiencing new things, and Living.

I am very happy. ^u^

Thanks for reading.

#personal #long post #like really long geez #sorry about the text wall guys lol #story #personal story #aspburgers #adhd #bad teachers #past #Anonymous