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ember-da-toon · 2 years

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I hate coming down to dinner with my family. One, its so awkward for me. I'd rather bring my food up to my room and eat there. I cam bring the plate back down amd wash it and all, but my mom says its "'Family time' the only time all of us get to be together."

Two, I'd rather not have my parebts listen in on what me and sister talk about when they're mostly just quiet or just talk to each other. I just can't.

Idgaf. I want to be alone in my room. Listen to my music and have a good cry over all my thoughts. Mostly of how worthless I am. How I have no idea what the fuck is going to happen to me when I leave home. I am a couple years away from needing to move out. I am both excited and terrified. Excitted that I would finally have a home all to myself. No bratty little brother or parents to barge through my door. But terrified of the world outside.

My social anxiety is absolutely terrible that I have lost touch with a lot of friends. I want to make more but I just can't seem to know how. I can't bring myself to try and join in any conversations. They talk about K-Pop and Anime, and I'm just at my desk awkwardly doodling gay people. I know they joke about it but I'm worried that they'll get too judgemental about it if I try and introduce them to some of my hyperfixiations.

If not irl friends, than maybe I could make some online? I can't bring myself to type either. I probably take too long to decide what to respond with that I accidentally chicken out and leave them on read.

I once made a friend. I checked up and chatted to them for like a week but then never again. Maybe its because we're both introverts and have no clue how to start a conversation. I accidentally abandon them and I feel absolutely terrible. I want to apologize for not talking to them in months but I'm not sure what their time zone is and I don't want to accidentally barage their Dms at 3 am.

I wish I could improve myself but Im far too deep in my shell of insecurities I can barely open my mouth to ask for help.

I know I shouldn't feel ashamed for feeling this way, and theres no need to be embarassed about it. But I just can't.

I feel too terrified to burden anyone. I'm too scared to open up and then suddenly get sent to a mental hospital.

I think I've told you guys about how my parents found out I was Bi before an lectured me. And they managed to wring in religious stuff into it. It really pained me so badly at how they reacted. They called me out right there at the same fucking dining table. It was humiliating and terrifying.

And they had the audacity to wonder why I don't show them my art anymore. Like lol, I've become way fruitier and portray them more in my doodles. I'd rather not get my ear chewed on and you can just save your fucking breath homophobic pricks.

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If you're wondering where this came from, its because I have to follow my family to go Karaoke and I'm anxious about getting sensory overload.

I've never had one but I jumped out my skin when a door was slammed by the wind while I was praying. My heart skipped a beat and it was trying very desperately to escape my fucking ribcage I think I almost choked on air.

I don't want to break down out of nowhere because of the loud noises. I've always hated loud places thats why I don't go out anymore. Not even my room. The only loud noises will be coming from my earphones to drown out the other noises.

If I break down they'll be pretty weirded out and it'll be so fucking awkward with my parents and siblings just starring at me with possibly annoyance and confussion. Then I'd be told to wait outside. Im fine with just waiting outside with my own music. I just don't want them to end it so quickly and then blame it on my dumbass for returning home earlier.

I don't want to blamed for every little thing.

I hate how they're so hyped about it and I'm just here hating how my vocal chords are this way. I wish I could go mute. But then they'll be pretty confused on why I'm way quieter than usual.

I really don't want to go but wish me luck I guess... good god please kill me.

#vent #vent comic #tw homophobia

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depressedkakashihatake · 4 years

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team runaway pirates au with their friends and students as members of the crew, ft. obito as the captain of another ship who has a weird fascination with kakashi after being saved by him when they were younger

Kakashi is the son of a high ranking Navy official. His dad was decorated, smart, revered, and murdered when he refused to take Pirate Captain Tsunade into custody.

Sakumo had been sent on a job to locate and detain Tsunade, the bain of the Navy's existence. Unfornatly, when he found her he also found that instead of plundering the vulerable and poor like he had been told, she was actually supplying medical aid to those forgotten by the higher ups. Those who were treared as 'expendable'. He decided it was in his best interest to let her go.

In return for his choice, Sakumo was murdered in his home. He couldn't be dishonourably discharged you see, because every single one of his ship mates stood by his decision. He was loved and respected. He couldn't be taken off of his pedastool by the higher ups, so he had to be disposed of.

To make sure this didn't come back to bite them in the ass, the higher ups made it look like a murder done by tsunade. An ungrateful pirate captain who returned Sakumo's kindness with murder. Unforrunatly for them, there was a witness. Sakumo's 5 year old son, kakashi.

Before they could do anything about the sleepy boy who had crawled out of bed when he heard strange noises, tsunade shows up and takes care of Sakumo's attackers. She had come to check in on him because she knew something bad could happen to the man who let her go free.

When she's done dealing with the intruders, she turns around to see Kakashi kneeling beside his dad trying desperatly to wake him up. Sakumo won't wake up though. He never will and she's certain she has limited time. Someone will be waiting for the men she just killed.

So she does what she has to. She grabs Kakashi and bolts, ignoring his screams for his dad and heading back to her ship to get him as far away as possible. A witness is always a liability after all.

Kakashi grows up on Tsunade's ship from that point. He's quiet and closed off, but even as young as 5 she can tell he's intelligent. She focuses his mind on tacticle plans, teaching him how to map out the sea's and face their enemies.

When Kakashi is 11 he meets a boy named Obito while visiting a small town for supplies. Any other day Obito wouldn't catch his attention. Today, however, Obito is being targeted by some men in uniform.

Kakashi HATES men in uniform. The last time he saw a uniform up close, his dad had died.

So he reacts. He busts through the men, knocking them to the ground, and grabs Obito's hand. Obito doesn't complain or anything, he just follows Kakashi as they start running through the streets trying to escape these men. It takes a qhile, but soon enough Kakashi is able to lose them. Once he's sure they're gone, he checks obito for any injures

When obito asks where he came from, he says the truth. He's a pirate in town for a visit. That's the day Obito decides he wants to be a pirate too.

When Kakashi is 20, Tsunade retires. She has bene in the gig long enough, it's time for her to relax.

She leaves Rin Nohara in charge of the ship. A fine, strong captain. But a stratagist Rin is not. That's what Kakashi is for.

Together, Kakashi and Rin make a fearsome duo. They loot from the rich and successful and use their resorces to provide medical and financial aid to the poor. They are absolutly hated by the navy and the nobles. In some ways, they're more hates than Tsunade.

Kakashi is 21 when he see's Obito again. He has lept up with him whenever he visited that small town of course, and obito always loved hanging around him, but now he's looking at Obito standing on his own ship as Captain, and oh boy is this a hot mess waiting to happen.

Obito makes his interests in Kakashi clear, but Kakashi isn't into Obito that way. He's not really into anyone that way as far as he knows.

At least, not until he's visiting his old home town and decides to crash a party for shits and giggles.

There he meets the most beautiful man. Maito Gai. He's a middle class man, a waiter at the party, amd even though Kakashi is dressed up and drawing all eyes on him, his attention is only on Gai.

He's supposed to be there to fuck around and see how things are going, maybe even steal some money, but he quickly forgets all of that when he see's Gai. All he can do is flirt with the pretty boy, which for some reason seem's to be upsetting a lot of people.

He only stops flirting with Gai when he see's something familiar out if the corner of his eye. A family symbole. HIS families symbole. His eyes immidiatly snap to the person wearing it. A silver haired boy around the same age as him.

His blood boils. He knows his father had no siblings, no one who shared his name. And he himself was an only child. The only person alive who is allowed to wear that symbol is HIM.

Without thinjing, he attacks. He pins the bastard to the ground and demmands to know who he is. When the man says 'Kakashi Hatake' he see's read. There are people trying to pull him off, to protect the precilus Hatake, but Kakashi won't let them. He's angry.

He demmands to know who the person is again, but this time he says very clearly 'don't lie to me'. When the man says his name again, he punches him.

Finally someone is able to drag Kakashi off of him, but they don't hold onto him long before he headbuts them and puts his distance between himself and them. When he looks at the imposter again, he see's a familiar face. A man whi had visited his father lots when he was young. A high ranking admiral, Danzo.

When Danzo uses his name to talk to the impostor he growls and demands that they quit that. That this is not Kakashi Hatake and he has no right to wear that family symbol. It's not his.

Someone tries to 'correct' Kakashi and say that this is him. That this boy was taken in by Danzo after his father was murdered by tsunade, and Kakashi absolitly loses it at that point. He grabs the nearest soldiers sword and points it at Danzo without a thought. When Danzo asks him why he's so convinced that this is not Kakashi, he takes off the mask he's wearing. He doesn't need to say anything after that. Anyone can recognize the silver hair and sunken eyes combo.

Danzo goes into high alert. He needs to get this dealt with asap before people start questioning him, but before he can react, Kakashi had slashed the sword accross his chest and body checked the impostor, snatching his family symbol from him before running off.

Kakashi, being Kakashi, grabs Gai's hand on the way and tells him to come with him. Gai doesn't even question it. He just nods his head and follows Kakashi.

They narrowley escape from the men chasing them, amd oh boy is Rin unimpressed when Kakashi explains what happened and why he has a new tag along. But she see's how Kakashi looks at the man and she's not about to tell him he can't bring along the pretty boy he fell for while crashing a party

#pirate au

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survivor-kuwait · 5 years

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Episode 5 - "I think I jumped the gun with this one, but I wanted to strike first." - Corey

Willow, I’m going to win this for you. Chloe is next. Anyone who voted you out is next. They’re all gone #LibraStrong Thanks for being a great friend

Cloe came back and thats fine with me. Since she is Ian’s sign partner amd I feel like I have a strong connection with him maybe she’ll work with me. I hate this bottom five goes to warzone thing. It really messes up social and strategic plans. I hope i can avoid tribal again. I dont want to go. I got a vote steal, I dont know of I sent in a confessional about it or not. Im glad I have it and now im looking for the idol.

- - -

Me: Gets of work at 2 Challenge: Due in 5 hrs Me: Go gets McDonalds

- - -

I did the challenge and I got 11. I hope that good enough to keep me away from the bottom 5. It sucks that we have 9 people on our tribe which means only 4 people will be safe this round from the warzone. I just want to stay away from it as long as possible. Dont like going there because it is so stressful.

The fact that I’m so close to an idol and now am basically on a deadline to get it in case things go south here is TERRIFYING! I’m separated from my allies except Corey who I like, and nervous on how to do this. Losing the tiebreaker and the fact that I had a 50/50 chance of doing it in 11 guesses is making this feel like a perfect storm that would absolutely lead to a really awful elimination for me. I just gotta work!

Someone got to MY advantage before me, the AUDACITY to take MY ADVANTAGE. It's not that I want two advantages, it's that I don't want other people to have them. Just who do you think you are? That wasn't there for you to just pick up, I HAD DIBS. Someone here does not respect the virtue of dibs and therefore they are not a Bro. If you are not a Bro then you aren't my bro. If you aren't my bro then what are you? I'd say you're dead to me, but you're more like Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense, you've been dead the whole time. We after that ass Jimmy, we after that ass. https://twitter.com/beforefamepics/status/1039687902643539968?lang=en

Warzone sucks amd I dont like being in it. I feel good hopefully but Im still wary. Warzone still makes me nervous. I have Renee in here so atleast there is someone I can bounce of strategy with out being paranoid. There are people who ive been in warzone with before and others I havent. Matt S. Seems like a great guy and Renee has talked to him on our tribe so hopefully we wants to work with us. Tbh I dont know who i want gone. Still open minded this round.

Maynor messages me 1 time after the split: MAYNOR IS MY #1 ALLY FOREVER!l?!! Idk if it’s true but I love him and gave him my idol clue , and I support him, also based off nothing besides the fact we have been throughout few warzones together I trust Jacob and Madison and trace so hopefully I don’t die this round either xoxo Gossip girl

So my first warzone is pretty much as terrifying as I thought. I don’t think my name is in the mix but I’ve never been fully confident in this game. I feel like I can trust Corey and he’s trying to enact this plan to vote Renee. People seem concerned about saving chloe but I don’t really have a preference either way. If it’s bwtwwen Renee and Chloe then I hope it’s renee but I won’t be sad if it’s chloe. I’m just trying to be under the radar and I hope that’s gonna work

I'm immune??!??! This challenge always goes poorly for me and here I am. My little gay ass in the Final 18? Like YAYAY? I survived 6 boots which is 1/4 of the game already and I'm living!!! I hope that it can speed up, cause I'm really bored and I really want to find something on this damn idol board and I thought i found sumnthin, but an UGLY already got their grubby hands on it. So I'm defeated on that aspect too. But you know what, I'm seeing another round! And that is great for now!!

So I’m back in the war zone again after actually trying for a challenge. My hangman method wasn’t the worst but not the most fantastic. Being in the war zone is not fun. But this time I have people discussing the vote with me so that’s less scary. Maybe I’m gettin somewhere

So far, its been quiet again. But so far Cloe’s name has been theown out because she has already been voted out. I’m good with voting out Cloe. I just hope no crazyness happens the last hrish. Im already being stressed about my project dont need the vote to be stressful.

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This round is going to be somewhat hectic. For the first time I feel I am in real danger, let’s see if it works out.

It looks like everyone is down to vote for Cloe. I’m really hoping I can trust these heathens when they tell me its gunna be Cloe or if Im being duped really hard. Im so paranoid cuz I really want to do good in this game. Hopefully bonds help me out if somehow the worst happens and Renee goes. Injust dont want it to be me.

No warzone woohoo, now I just need Corey or Devon to leave and I’ll be set.

Woot woot, safe again from tribal. I wanted to come into this game and be more social than I have ever been before. I can already see myself struggling with that and I need to work on it. It’s one thing to be aware of it but a whole other thing to actually make sure I get my shit together and do it. This time I’m actually going to make sure I do it.

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I'm real happy I'm the last one to not go to the warzone bc I feel like people will kill me immediately if I give them the chance. I love Matt and Owen.

Going into tribal council tonight, I am nervous. I am not letting jacob or madison in on the plan which can only hurt my game in the longrun. I think I jumped the gun with this one but I wanted to strike first as I usually wait but always end up losing allies that way. Hopefully, with damage control, I can be okay. If somehow the vote ends up on me, rip! Can't say I didn't try - I just may have tried too hard too quick. I hope the bonds I have made until now are strong enough to get me to another day here. I am hoping to see Renee walk out - otherwise, Chloe. I just hope I didn't screw up too bad.

This round i am finally not going to tribal!! Two rounds was enough for me. Especially after the last one, that vote was A LOT. Double tribals ain't fun when its one round of voting and two people leave. A whole other strategy goes into that. So Chloe comes back and from retrograde and i was a little nervous because i was part of voting her out. But then I talked to her when she was back and she was really cool, she said she had stuff going on irl which is why she wasn't around which i totally understand because that's been the case for me recently so I am not holding it against her now (because originally that is why I wanted to vote for her when we did). Honestly the fact that she went THAT hard in retrograde to come back really just changed my opinion of her. It definitely showed that she wants to still be here (at least more than Willow did) and i really respected that. Made me see her in a new light. When I first encountered Renee in this game I was excited to see her, she was excited to see me and we briefly chatted but I wasn't too sure how closely we would be working together. then for this Guess Who challenge Renee asks for my help because she got stuck and asked if i could look over her parameters to see if I saw anything because she was missing something. turns out she did have a miscommunication with the hosts and it got her a less than favorable score and she ended up going to tribal. I briefly talked to Owen about the challenge, just keeping those lines of communication open to suss out if him and i are working together or not. I am still not 100% if we are explicitly working together. I have been unsure about this tribe and safety. I cannot tell if it is normal that no one is talking because we are safe, or if people just are not talking to me. Could be a little bit of paranoia, but I could also just not be desirable for social interactions. Only time will tell, i guess.

#survivorstarzone #episodes

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thehalfworld · 7 years

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Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic

I was talking to an online friend on Twitter not too long ago, and the subject of bad fanfiction came up. My friend had been reading “My Immortal” and losing his shit over it. I asked if he’d read “Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen” and it turned out he had not. He’d never even heard of it.

Indeed, while this story is one of the best-known badfics out there, it’s still considerably less popular than “My Immortal” is, and I think that’s a damn shame. This may be my personal favorite work of bad fanfiction; it’s a fantastic example of the “so bad it’s good” genre. Author BeckyMac666 writes like no other English-language writer has ever written, and this is both a good and a bad thing. She’s almost certainly a troll, given the blatant use of established badfic tropes and several parallels with “My Immortal,” but when you’re this good at being terrible it really doesn’t matter how serious you are about it.

For the record, there are folks who believe that this fic and “My Immortal” share an author, due to the aforementioned parallels. I personally don’t think that’s true, since the prose is very different, but if it amuses you to imagine that they’re written by the same person, be my guest.

Like virtually all Twilight badfic, this story is about a mysterious new girl arriving in Forks and shaking up Bella and Edward’s relationship by creating a love triangle. As usual, Bella is made out to be completely awful in the process, Jacob is largely forgotten about, and the protagonist may not be entirely human herself. This is far weirder, and more entertaining, than your average shitty Twilight fanfiction, though. Mark my words.

I first MSTed this fanfiction back on the old WordPress version of this blog, but, as that was a long time ago and I like to think I’m funnier nowadays, I rewrote most of my comments. It’s not wildly different, but hopefully it is an improvement over the old version.

AN hey guys this is the new improved verson of my story, hope its better this time!

I have no idea what the unedited version of this thing looked like, but I honestly can’t imagine it being any more ridiculous than the final story.

btw i am young and have dyslexia i find spellin hard but its meant2 be unformal ok !

Use spellcheck, you fool! Or get a proofreader!

no critisism pls!

Oops.

tis story goes out 2 my bf zac(kisses!) amd my besfreind Tiffi LOVE YA GRRRL!

The Tara parallel here is probably intentional. Zac never gets mentioned again, much like Tara’s boyfriend, but Tiffi isn’t Becky’s beta reader and they don’t have a spat partway through or anything of that sort.

EDWARD IS OUR GODD!(we wanna SEX him gud!)

Honestly, I think this is how all fanfiction should open. Just tell me straight-up what character you wanna bang before the story’s even started. Save us all some time.

love &blood becky mac! xxx x x xx

Aww. That’s kinda cute.

UPDATE: I have a proofreader and I have cleaned up the spelling and grammer on this chaptor a hell of a lot as you will see (thank u vickie!)

Yeah, Vickie, thank you. Looks like you’re doing a great job and you’ve got everything under control here.

i will be imrpoving the next chaptors soon.

Since this fic got “abandoned,” subsequent chapters have not actually been improved. Not that one can tell, anyway.

Altantiana

Yes, that is a typo of her OC’s name. Off to a great start.

Hey, my names Atlantiana Rebekah Loren (but everyone calls me Tiana or just plain Tiaa).

Virtually no one calls her Tiana during the course of the story. Just so you know. “Tiaa” isn’t a typo, either, though I have no idea why the author felt the need to add an extra A.

Notice the middle name? Subtle.

I am a 16 year old girl and I live in Forks, Washington!

This actually makes her a year younger than Bella, for the record.

My hair is long and pale like spun gold and skims to my waist like a pale shimmering amber mist.

It’s pale and it’s pale? Also, gold and amber are not the same color.

My eyes are deep forgetminot blue and my delicate fentures are lilly white and pure as the winter snow in moonlight.

I’ve been complimented on my fentures before too, but it’s nothing worth bragging about.

I've been told by loads of sleazy, ugly, HORNY guys that I'm real pretty and look like a model or a bunny girl (some of the guys who like me are really old and try to make opt with me its disgusting and weird!) but basically a lot of the girls I meet tell a different story.

Well, gee, after that modest description of yourself I’m shocked that boys think you’re attractive, Tiaa. You sounded so plain and ordinary.

Am guessing that the girls who don’t tell a different story are gay.

They say I'm too ivory white and ethereal and too skinny and that I look anorexic which i don't care about, but I think its seriously disrespectful to people with REAL eating disorders (btw i'm so totally not anorexic! I eat loads I just never gain weight and I'm not thin enough to be anorexic anyways, I think they were just being BIATCHES especially this one ratty brain called Ellie Mayfair who I hope freaking DIES in PAIN with SHIT ON HER FACE! Sorry, I'm not really such a batch but she is SO horrible if you met her you'd think the same!)

I hate when girls pick on me for being too ethereal.

Even though we’re using the “attractive character looks anorexic but isn’t” trope, and that’s obviously not so great, I guess it’s nice that Tiaa/Becky took the time to point out that the comparison is disrespectful to people who actually have anorexia or another eating disorder.

The bit about Ellie Mayfair is one of the best things I’ve ever read. I hope you guys all understand why I had to run this fic now.

Anyways I am quite tall and slim and but with really big boobs that I used to HATE because they look noticeable on my slender body and draw to much attention but now i like them and don't care who stares at me!

Ah, the “skinny yet improbably busty” body type. Strangely more common in fiction than in real life.

Tiaa totally does care who stares at her, by the way. As we’ll see shortly.

I have a lip ring and recently put black and indigo and magenta streaks in my long pale blond hair. I smell like mint and cinnamon.

I have no idea why we’re supposed to care about any of this, but I’m particularly unclear about why we should care what she smells like.

I wear mostly black and hot pink, deep purple and neon blue and listen to COOL music!

Tiaa’s specific music taste never comes up, to my recollection, but I’m betting My Chemical Romance is involved.

It is my first day at school in forks as I just moved here to live with new foster parents Dave and Marie. They are nice and all very hole some sweet people but it is not like having a real family.

Yeah, Tiaa is adopted. This is sort of plot-important later on, but we never get to learn much about her life prior to Dave and Marie.

I've been hurt to many times to let people close to me and I don't talk to them very much.

I mean… you just moved in with them.

My real mom died when I was born and I never knew my real dad. I sometimes wonder what he is like and if I will ever get to met him.

Foreshadowing!

Dave gave me a ride to school and I smiled faintly as he wished me good luck and I got out of the car and went into the school. Loads of people freaking stared at me as I walked down the hall.

Presumably because she’s too ethereal.

I was wearing tight black leather pants with silver chains at the waste and a red fishnet-like top and you could see my black lacy bra through it.

That could have something to do with why they’re staring.

I ignored whispers and the big pink cheerleader imbosils pointing at me. I was used to it and I paid no at-tension to the guys asking desperately for my number(like hell I'd even LOOK at the horny little donkeys!) and told a ditsy blond cheerleader called Jessica to STFU(!) when she called me a freak!

God I love this author’s writing style. Truly, no one has ever written like this, before or since. BeckyMac666 is one of the unsung geniuses of our time.

Next time she tries anything I'll hit her in the eye cause NO ONE messes with me nemore!

Most of the rest of the story is about various people messing with Tiaa. For the record.

My first day I was relay board, I sat gazing out of the window into the gray cloud-embittered sky for most of the morning, My teachers all looked at me disprovable but said nothing cause they probably new I was a foster kid and a Gothic and didn't want to upset me in case I cut them up as they slept,.

I’m a pretty big fan of the phrase “cloud-embittered,” although it is of course completely meaningless.

Hey, uh… why the hell hasn’t she gotten dress coded? I went to a private school and I guess our dress code was a bit stricter than most, but most high schools will get upset at teenage girls for not covering their knees and shoulders, let alone having any undergarments visible. Tiaa’s entire bra is showing through her fishnet top. This is a situation in which I think it’d be reasonable to ask her to change.

My ears are pierced four times, I have a tattoo of a scorpion(like S my birth-sign!) on my ankle and a Gothic cross on my shoulder, and on my hand i have a weird birthmark in the shape of a seven-pointed star that I've had all my life.

I don’t know why we’ve gone right back to (over)describing Tiaa, but I do think I should delete my entire OkCupid bio and replace it with this opening chapter.

Your probably wandering why I'm bothering to tell you this, well I tell you now I am no ordinary sixteen year old girl.

Could’ve fooled me!

I have a secret, a dark and forbidden secret witch I am only just beginning to understand. When I sleep I hear whispers in another language and even though I understand them at the time, when I wake up i can't remember it!

That’s nothing. I had a dream once where I explained the meaning of Nirvana lyrics to somebody (obviously not possible in real life), and I couldn’t remember my explanation when I woke up either.

I also see weird faces in my dreams that fade to nothingness when I open my eyes and I swear out the corner of my eye my birthmark glows shocking bright gold and gets relay hot sometimes but when I look properly it is back to normal boarding scar-color!

I’d like to remind you that this is set in the Twilight universe. It’s already got magical creatures, and there are rules established about their abilities, appearances, and behavior. Tiaa is clearly not quite human, but she doesn’t seem to be a vampire, a half-vampire, or a werewolf. She’s completely unique within her universe, for no defined reason, and the rules governing other nonhumans don’t apply to her.

Like, the physical description and the obvious homage to “My Immortal” already made it clear that this girl is a Mary Sue, but this author clearly gets that Sue status isn’t just about looking unreasonably pretty. It’s about defying the rules of canon. Tiaa’s outstanding at that, as you’ll see later on.

I am really gracefull like the running anti-lopes when I run very fast and am stronger and faster than most people.

God, what a sentence.

I used to just think i was relay athletic but now I'm not so sure, I think there might be something else at work, something so much more mysterious and eeire.

Something like… bad writing?

The truth hovers so softly on the brink of my memory sometimes but if only i could remember the weird things that clung to the edge of my mind as I slept!

There are so many bad fanfics where the prose is bare-bones, with few or no adjectives/adverbs and simple sentence structure. BeckyMac666 tends in the opposite direction, and it’s awesome. Everything is phrased as though it’s super dramatic, nonsense metaphors abound, and our author has clearly never met an adjective she didn’t like. Hey @ aspiring trollfic authors: take note. This is how you write an entertaining badfic.

At lunch I sat alone in the corner and scanned the cafeteria quietly with my eyes smoldering dark blue beheath my long black lashes and my slim thighs curled under me.

Also a big fan of how Tiaa always talks about herself as though she’s checking herself out.

It was the n I noticed an unbelievably jaw-droopingly hawt HAWT HAAAAAAAAWT dude with tusseted blondey-brown hair, golden yellow eyes like wells of hot caramel and pale sexy features. He was tall and mussel and looked like he was wearing eyeliner and my body got hot and cold all at once as I looked at him.

Kind of like an erection only she’s a girl so she didn’t get one you sicko.

I'd never felt this way about anyone before and I'd totally never felt this weird feeling that I'd met someone before but I had no idea where and i knew it was impassible because I'd freaking remember someone THAT hawt!

Foreshadowing! Again!

A girl sat next to him with long brown hair with her arms dripped over him like a freaking flesh-eating plant so i thought well whatevah, hes taken.

Straight-up one of the greatest similes I’ve ever seen. Like, I study English literature and I don’t think I’ve ever read a metaphor better than that one. I’m not joking, it’s brilliant.

She wasn't nearly as hawt as he was, she wasn't ugly though. I figured I was maybe prettier then her. I never really saw myself as beautiful but i'd guessed from thinks others had said, plus this girl wasn't great looking but anyways I'd never try to pilch with another girls' BF cause thats just low.

The modesty act might be a little more convincing if we hadn’t just read several paragraphs of Tiaa talking about how hot she is.

So I got up to leave the hall thinking I'd go and smoke some bald drugs in the locker room while no one was there.

Hey, what’s a “bald drug”? I go to a liberal arts college and I’ve watched the entirety of Breaking Bad multiple times, so you think I’d have heard of it.

As I waked over to he exit I couldn't help but notice the hawt pale guys musky eyes as they met mine.

Musk is a substance some male animals secrete for scent-marking purposes. The word comes from the Sanskrit for “scrotum.” Thought you all should know.

I locked away hurriedly. I smocked dope in the locker room for a bit then I wondered to my next class.

This bitch just hotboxed a locker room on her first day of school.

I bumped into someone in the corridor and my bocks fell everywhere! FRICK! FRICK! FRIIIICKK!

Remember that this is the beta-read version of the chapter.

"WTF!" I screamed loudly, "watch where your FREAKING going you asshole!" (i have anger problems)

So you know how self-insert characters, particularly Sues, often have self-proclaimed “anger issues”? I wanna talk about that, actually, because it’s a trope I see not only in fanfiction but in published fiction, and it honestly bugs me.

In real life, anger issues are a totally legitimate character flaw, and one that can have serious negative consequences in-universe. A character with a bad temper may make rash decisions, screw up their relationships with others, have trouble holding down a job, get in trouble with the law, and so on; people who have anger problems are often mentally ill and/or traumatized, too, and the anger may be just the tip of the iceberg. Many morally ambiguous characters, well-written ones, have trouble with anger. There’s nothing wrong with this trope when it’s executed correctly.

In the hands of a less-than-competent writer, however, anger issues are the opposite of a problem, because the character’s show of anger will invariably cause others to back down or apologize and there will be no negative consequences. Writing a character who’s so sweet and charming that they always get their way has exactly the same effect, but as that trope falls out of style “anger issues” has taken its place and the authors who write these characters have no idea that they’re doing the same thing as the trope they thought they were avoiding.

Of course, this is the work of a troll, and the use of this trope is almost certainly intentional, but there are way too many authors who employ it unironically as a way to give a “flaw” to a character that even they realize is bordering on unrealistic.

"I'm so so sorry" he said in a voice like wet heaven "please forgive me my lady”

Author’s so fond of weird phrases that I have no idea whether or not “wet heaven” is intended as innuendo.

It was the hawt pale guy!

Dun dun dunnnn!

Next chapter

#forbidenfruit.mst #fandom:twilight #halfworld.mst

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sherlockedmindblown-blog · 7 years

Text

THEFINALPROBLEM

‪Im angry for all those who see things which arent there..So i have to write it this way, 140 letters its not enough..its called FRIENDSHIP,not ur fantasy.. I have gay friends and i love them, I am all for LGBT rights,marriages,adoptions and everything so dont try make me a homophobe..Dont be so feisty and offensive..I am a huge fan of tv shows, i saw more than 200 shows, now i activly watching over 100 through the year, so I am bot specialist, but I have my opinion and kind of huge base to build on, cause i saw a lot..And i am also a shipper, so I get that..But the whole team who make #Sherlock (and they are doing some pretty pretty good and brilliant job) they cant make every shipper happy..And I know the world is trying ti change and be open and welcoming to gay people, and its right that way, cause we are all same...But u have to keep your reason and logic and whole thinking together..At first with your attitude they will didnt care about us and there will be no other season, and maybe for all u showing it would be deserved cause u are ungratefull and mean..Sorry u can ripped ne apart but I stand by my opinion and I will give you arguments why..Maybe some of you will understand..‬ ‪In every show u always find ur favorite, and ur shipping..And sometimes it happens and sometimes dont..I get it that u imagine yourswlf on Sherlocka or John place or imagine them as a dreamy oerfect couple which u want to live someday with someone in ur future..They change a lot and make a SPECTACULAR SHOW from old classic..But u want too much and u see things which are clearly not there..There is line between friendship and love. Of course u or i imagine that we change oyr crush to gay or straight or whatever it doesnt matter..But there is clearly totally different story.Not because creators want to make you mad amd furious and filling internet with these crap and throwing a lots of shit on their brilliant work..‬ ‪U dont not anymore concentrate on story..TRY TO THINK..please just try it with me..‬ ‪If ur wish would be fullfill hiw it would looks like abd what would happen with Sherlock, with show we all love and worship???‬ ‪So imagine it with me: ‬ ‪Theyre on a case, so much intense drama like always, everything we love...And in the middle of that they would be holding hands and showing their love and pride to whole world, in this case to whole London...And they would kiss or cuddle in Sherlock chair, or go on a date or whatever John going out of Sherlocks bedroom making him breakfest in the morning..I get it and I dont blame u that u are shipping this and see u in some way at their place...If I will be honest to u, maybe it will help, I imagine myself worh Sherlock so i dont want him with Mollt, Adler or John, dont care about gender..But I am reasonable intelligent person and I dont excpected this happy end for me( i know Sherlock is not real person, i am not crazy..) and I am totally "in love" (we cam call it in love probably) with Benedict Cumberbatch (I wasnt since the beggining, i actually wondering for two years why is whole world so swoon by him..I didnt saw it..I was so blind and stupid, now i get it maybe too much) but it doesnt change anything about that i love the show and i am very excited for what creators bring us and if they hive us more(please we want moooore) and if they give u ur happy ending Sherlock&John=❤❤❤ The biggest world love..That would totally ruin the whole show. It would become a totally different show which would many of us dont wanna watch, not because we are antigay or homophobic or whatever bullshit u will tell me, but because it would be wrong..They would instead of solving case solving they partership and problems in theirs relationship from why didnt u take out garbage to why did u cheated on me..So it would become a show about gay guys living in London splving specially their relationship because its aleays like that when partners work together..And usually they dont solve cases like that and dont get inti situation nearly close to this...So i u want Sherlock (if it ever will be another season, its in stars, but i believe in creators team that they dont ruin my hopes) to become a cheap like some german romantic movue from Rosamunde Pilcher, when u see those films u know it from first shoot, and u also now the whole story, keep preasure and hating what they done, all this amazing job...‬ ‪I would maybe shipping it two in different tv show, if it would be real...‬ ‪Its not my first rodeo, but in furst case I was sitting quitely and kept my mouth shout and my opinions to myself..‬ ‪But this time I am piss off cause u are all, touch ur conscience whi wrote what and where and hiw rude and disrespectfull to vreators u was, everyone one of u by yourself...Because they deserve so much better from us, our fandom, theyre doing it cause we love it so much. But we habe to be normal and think about whole thing ot only that part and gay happy end u want. It would make a joke from the whole show, because theyre both clearly elsewhere than u want them..John was dating, get married, had a baby, almost had an affair and its not still enough. I can almost hear u all argumenting that he or both of them are hidding it cause it happens in real life..Yeah but not everytime.Sometimes its just two huys become friends and after some time family..Sherlock, u could maybe said that he is little confusing about his sexuality at the start, and theough whole shiw, but its not about he being secretly gay( he is so clever and logic and reasonable that he would know that about himself and he would worked it out like everything, with pure logic) he is dofferent in other way, with his emotions, rudness, always bored by usuall stuff and ordinary life and so much mite thing, which we love so much about him..And he goes through some changes in those four bloody good seasons..He find his only friend in Watson, friend for gid sake, not future lover..He find his soulmate but in dofferent way that all lovesexpassion thing..And it was change him, in nice and goid way. But u all wake up and stop with all that hate pointing to creators and whole team..Ur fir no reason, yes i dont see that as a reason to hate all about finale and bitching and wining about it, because its not like u want it..U should appreciate and love the masterpiece they all made and not by bad and angry and rude AF! ‬ ‪I wastalking about that I saw this before, ta kind of funny because it was with Hannibal, it was also such a brilluant show( i became a huge fan of Mads Mikkelsen so see them together with Benedict in Doctor Strange was kind if my happy moment, omething like u wish with Sherlock and John huge gay love story..U are finding things where theyre not..) and it was same but it was probably a lot smaller fandom than Sherlock has, it was probably why it was cancelled after 3 season, but i also hope they will come back cause theyre some serious talks about it, but its not important now, but there was a characters of Hannibal and Will, it would take sometime to explain whole show but in shortcut Hannibal is psychopathic serial killer who eats people and like to cook them very goid, like high chefs stuffs and Will is nit an usuall detective(am I the only one who sees the simillarity yet?) he has this thing he can imagine in his somekind of mind palace how was those people kill when he us on crime scene..And there are some serious creeepy shit, but the point is that Hannibal becomes somehiw obssesed by Will, but not in the way of love, again, how somebody saw it, but there happen a lots of stuff which lead to weird kid of friendship between two very extraordinary people, like saving lives, and helping to other one, even if theyre are enemies fro the begiininf, and they both have relationship with women, doesnt matter hiw disturb those relationshio are, there was no romantic line between who somebody wanna see..It would also ruin the show, it was about friendship, between two not normal at all person, that fragile thing which start after all what they done to each other or to everybody else.Ther was that beauty, and this is the same case..We love Sherlock and Johns FRIENDSHIP...We dont want to turn it in different show, it wouldnt be like all ur memes and fanfiction story cause if this would happen there will be no base for any of this, u would win and what about us? U feel somehow(dobt get it why and how un this case) discriminated by this, but what about us all? There is always so mamy different opinions and tastes, never can make everyone happy, but theyre the creators and its up to them how its gonna be in the end. If u where on their place U could change it but they have theirs vision and they are creating it using their own fantasy and brilliant minds, all those twists and everything..U can express ur opinion, wish or feelings but doung that through rudness and hatefull comments and tweets and complains to BBC? I think its too much...And u being ungratefull amd dissrespectfull to their hard job...And amazing fantastic results... ‬ ‪They all deserve ours DEEPEST BOWS AND THANKS for taking us to this amazing rollercoaster ride of drama and emotions and hard thinking and deductions..It was quite something..And I dont say it like that, it means something cause I saw so many shows, and I usually watch even those which are nit as fun and i dont enjoy them too much, cause i am trying to give it a chance cause sometimes its worth it. But in case if Sherlock (i was never fanof crimi and i was the type "i dont givea fucj whi did that and why"cause they put detective and "maincharacters" aside in every crimi and i dont like that. Maybe I become wiser😂😂 i do t think so highly about myself😂😂with aging..Or i jist change, my taste change...) it was for the first time when I didnt do anything else then sit and didnt move or even breath at every episode, i didnt go to kitchen and let it play cause every minute and word it can be important, i didnt even scroll through my Iphone cause I am type of person who do t concentrate very good and gets easilly disstracted, and I was completly drown into...‬ ‪Yesterday I was being mad because of the finale cause we are now changing an operator and we are without cable tv, and I have this problem...I live in Czech Republic, so u all whos complaining, u cant imagine what i would give to have that chance to saw it cinema..I was prepar to be mad since 21 at England, at my country is one hoyr difference so its 22..And wait fir somebody uploaded online somewhere( not so nice, but when isnt any other usefull choice) so i couldnt look nowhere to avoid saw just a frame...And it was my imagination of pute torture..Longest two hours..Maybe u will think i am posh or whatever butour czech tv channel called Ct2 airs it at the same time, asi in England(surprise, in other cases we ate here at season 2 meanwhile there is season 6) but they made i with czech dabing..AndI just cant..I love it on english, i waych everything in english cause i hate stupid dabing its just looks like two totally different shows, the voice and the picture...Amd i would not even mention theyre picking very weirdly, with consideration(in their case not consideration would be more accurate) of real voice of those actors...So it would be torture and I would have it all completely ruined. So I was upset but I think I can not do anything, so I have to deal with it(u should do that too by the way). And I go to my best friend house around 20:00 and I was there only with my Iphone complaining about my "cruel fate" and how much I wanna saw it, in the best case now! My friend is untouched by Sherlocks charm ( i was trying to explain during watching it but I failed) and he doesnt completely understand my obssesion, so he looked at my like I am crazy. But even so he was trying to be helpfull and I try Google to find Bbc to watch online, it was second link, it was working but I didnt want to get my hopes up, but it was actually working. It was pure happiness and joy. I was literally sitting on the floor, totally carried away, holding my Iphone in ky hands listening to every word, poor my friend even go try to hold the washingmachine so I could hear that, and even I was a visitor for shit, he let me watch it all, and do t throw me out or kill me, for what I am beyond thankfull to him...And i enjoyed to best finale, another brilliant mind blowing episode and i was like on cloud nine, my emotions all over...Today i was little bit sad because I dont want this to be the end, i want more, and sooner than later...But its not in my powers and I have to hope and even if this was iver really like over over I would never be like u to creators even if it would ve there deccisiin if this is the end. I dobt know if its by the anonymity of the internet or what, and i dont wanna start with thinking about where the world going? But u bullying creators I dont have any other word for this. When I dound out today(yes I am maybe stupid but I assumed qhen I was so swooned and touched and excitedx from this episode, that everybody else defenetly must have been too..) And this is actually the reason why I spend half night by writting thus very long essay because of tv show...But this is about mire than that? its about basic human decency, which u dont have at all..Ur all like we want gueer and gay stuff here and the world is mean and bad and u creators are i dont wanna know how u called them, i feel ashamed by u, cause I dont want they to think the all fandom is bunch of mean hatefull people..Ur doing opposite for what u LGBT stands fir, but I really dobt wanna statt with those things..But u wanna be taken like "normal"(its not the right world, we are all same and what is even "normal" in this world...but i think u get how I mean it) but specially by this u putting yourselfs in special group whose calling for special treatment and its angry because its not what happened, and its offensive and discriminated to your LGBT rights...Dibt u see that this doesnt make sense cause it goes against each other....And because of this u make this whole ugly situation..‬ ‪I know u will have million and one things to said to me, to offended me or whatever but actually I am grown enough to take it and make it. I wrote this all just to express my opinion and my admiration to whole team of creators...Because they deserve it.. ‬ ‪So if by any chance this essay of mine gets a hold of eyes someone from whole Sherlock team this end will be for you. ‬ ‪I wanna thank you, so much, for bringing Sherlock to us and give us those amazing moments, and so brilliant tv show that there is hardly a rival somewhere. And I know that its not job of one, but whole team, so I bow to all of you, with hope in my heart that there will be more. I have to admmited that I was never so swallowed up by tv show, to do things like that. But this time I just have to. ‬ ‪To Mark Gattis and Steven Moffat as writters I truly envy their clever minds to get it here. Someone says that its out of line or reality or whatever someone didnt get gay finale, but I think that those two know very well what their are doing and they made it perfectly...So this is my thanks for entertain me...‬ ‪And in the end I have to, all actors are brilliant Martin is awesome (i didt saw Hobbit, so I keep thinking where did i saw him before and in the end i found out and laugh to myself, but I will make it right and watch all three espisodes very soon, i promise..) and i love this chemistry(friends) between John and Sherlock, because when I will be honest I would be like John...Little bit..Even if I would rather be Sherlock of course, i an realistic..And i love Martins looks on his face, those faces he makes, and I admire John for his strong friendship after all Sherlock did to him, even not on purpose..And Martin makes it so real and so good, he is good at his job.. ‬ ‪I am actually one of those who dont miss Moriarty, cause it would became boring if behind everything would be everytime only him..I think he is alive during TheFinalProblem because those subbtitles with time period was little late...And I was in shock but also I was like hell no..But that twist save it very well..And Andrew makes him very cool evilish devilish maniac, so I kind of like him after all..His tick tock on that red video drived me crazy, and I wasnt even there with Euros. Sian Brooke amazed me, she was terryfying, crazy but in the end I was sorry for her...She nailed it..And Mark as Mycrofr when he offers himself insteqd of John, and all was pure perfection together..Nithing was missing, badass Mr.Hudson, and i love just love that Sherlock feels something...And there I am going to the end, I save the best for last. Cause I dont if I dont let myself little carried away... ‬ ‪Because what makes Sherlock Sherlock its huge talent and gift from God and thats Benedict Cumberbatch. I am not any profesional and I just saying what I think but he is the best actor who walks on Earth right now...I did some reaserch today and i cant help myself but he is amazing even when you just listen to his voice reading a poem or audiobook, he has something special and perfect. I bow infront of him, so deep how I could, and that woukdbr be enough, cause he will achive great things, and I am very glad that he didnt go to law school, cause hidding this talent in court room would be such a waste. I really admire all of his work, and I have to say it I just love him..Its not other possibility. And other word wouldnt catch it like saying this love stuff. But we all know how it is, dont we? I am fangirling!!! Very much and I enjoying doing it. But I give myself goal and also fullfill dream if its happen that I wanna go to London to Sherlocked Event and meet him in real, say something nice( I will maybe figure it out till October) and take a pic..I would be very nervous, very, I am nervous from imagine it, making all thise script in my head what I will mess up. But we will see if I make it. And if i will I will thank him in person fir Sherlock and everything else.. ‬ ‪And thats all...And IT IS WHAT IT IS...‬ ‪ Sherlock ‬

#sherlock

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